#cheery tries dating for the first time in years

[cheeryknots]

never in my life have i felt more like remus lupin than when i was on a kind-of date with a girl and the guy working the bar asked for her number right in front of me

[mysicklove]

𝐅𝐈𝐗 𝐌𝐄

DAY 2: SUB SPACE + MOMMY KINK

With: Satoru Gojo

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Sub! Gojo, Fem? reader (no pronouns just use of names: mommy and mama), unreleastic portrayal of sub space, mentions of BDSM (rough treatment, degradation,whips, mistress/master use), safeword use (at the end), lots of cooing, Gojo unable to think properly, praise, comfort, clingy/needy Gojo

A/N: this was actually really fun to write! i did a little research on what subspace feels like, and it says it varies from person to person, but it is a sort of euphoric experience. sooo idk! lol. also, a lot of ppl r here for gojos personality, and I feel bad bc he is not like his usual self in this bc of his headspace...dont hate me gojo simps

Gojo Satoru is kinky. Plain and simple. He has tried many different things throughout his lifetime, and he is now confident enough in many different types of sexual play. He spends way too much time on the internet buying all sorts of toys, cuffs, ropes, whips, just to build his secret obsession. He has been with many people, and has always pulled them down to the dark side with him. 

But through it all, he has never found a partner to really push him to his limits. They all get too scared to hurt him, and call their safeword too early. They get uncomfortable when he sobs for mercy, or in other situations, begs for more pain. Gojo doesn't want to be just treated harshly, he wants to be broken. His standards are higher than most.

And finally his dreams came true when he met you. You've been into BDSM for years now, and even if the two of you are dating, you have a strict contract of rules you must obey for eachothers safety. It was cute, he was practically trembling in excitement when he saw the agreement, signing his hame sloppily, and waiting for your next move.

It was strange seeing someone so cheery and upbeat turn into a different breed during a scene. He was long passed the brat now, every defining thought fucked out of him. He's been slapped around, beaten, scolded, forced to orgasm, and humiliated in the past two hours. He has never had anyone treat him this rough. 

A huge part of him loved it, and a small part of him twinged in fear whenever he heard you begin to move again. It sent a multitude of thoughts to his brain, What now? Are you going to hurt him? Was he being good now? Another punishment? 

His blue eyes follow your every movement, and he flinches when you bring your hand up to his face, expecting another slap. You chuckle at the movement, gently petting his face. It takes him a second to realize what is happening, but from there, he melts into your hold. He presses himself deeper into your hand, eyes heavy from exhaustion.

Satoru accomplished his goal though. He was, for the first time ever, wrecked. His hair is matted against his head, damp from sweat. His body is covered in hickeys, bitemarks, bruises, scratches, and marks from the flogger. He was trembling, muscles contracting every couple of seconds without permission. Drools coats his lips, and it starts to drip down his mouth and onto his chin. His eyes seem to be in a different world, cloudy, and half lidded. His cock lays spent against his thigh, flushed red, and leaking just the last of his cum.

But even through it all, he's smiling at you. It’s a fucked out sort of grin, lazy, but content. His cheek is pressed against your palm, and he's nuzzling into it, basking in the softness of your touch, contrasting your earlier actions. “There ya go. You doing all right, Satoru?”

He blinks at you, slow, and thoughtless. “Yeah.”

You climb onto the bed next to him, brushing his hair back affectionately, and a little worriedly. He looked rather beat, and his exhausted eyes made you want to end the session now. “Alright, lets clean you up, and get you to bed,” You soothe, hands rubbing at his thighs, hoping your touch brings him comfort.

Immediately he pulls away, a small pout on his face. “Noooooo,” He uncharacteristically whines, grabbing at your hand. “Wanna…Wanna go some more. I'm doing good, right Mommy? No more punishments,” He pleads, tears coating his eyes. “Reward. Wanna reward, pleaseeee.”

Mommy wasn't todays title. You were called mistress, and master today solely. His words made your eyes widen, and you instantaneously knew he was deep into the subspace. You've seen glimpses of it, the way he becomes uncharacteristically obedient and he gets slightly giggly, probably from the light headed feeling, but he looked deep into his now. His words dragged out, and his body was obviously spent, but still he craved your approval; he wanted nothing more than to please you now. 

Affection, love and care is what he needs right now and you were happy to provide him with it. So, you straddle his lap, and place kisses on every surface you can touch. His body is warm, and he goes slack against your hold, mouth falling open. “Do you want to cum again, ‘toru? Or just attention?”

He goes silent for awhile, his mind hazy, and not liking the idea of making his own choice. He wanted you to take care of him completely, to let his mind slip away, and for you to control his ever thought, movement. “Please,” He mumbles, face scrunching up with frustration.

You are quick to apologize, recognizing his situation almost instantly. “Alright, alright. I'll take care of you. Lets cum one more time, can you do that for me, pretty boy?”

Pretty boy. A nickname unlike the harsh ones he received earlier: brat, slut, dog, whore. In the moment it only increased to turn him on, but now, he wanted to be good. The thought of you calling him those names made him want to tear up, and sob into your arms. He didn't want you to be mean anymore, he wants you to love him. To praise him on anything and everything. 

He jumps when he feels your hand drift back to his cock. It aches from all the abuse from earlier, and he lets out a shaky whimper, not liking the pain as much as he once did. “H-Hurts,” He yelps, wishing for you to make it better. To fix it all, why did everything ache so badly? He wants comfort, and as quickly as possible.

You kiss at his tears and pull his face into your neck. “‘m sorry. Was Mommy too rough with you today? Shhh, it’ll feel better in a bit, just relax,” You encourage, beginning to slide your hand up and down his length. He twitches and mewls from beneath you, fighting the feeling of overstimulation and pleasure. He wants this, he wants this, he wants this so badly, but he wishes it wasn't so uncomfortable.

He shakes his head into your neck, “Wasn't too rough. I'm fine, Mama j-just make me feel better, please,” he whispers, voice hoarse, and soft. One of your hands pet his hair, while the other strokes him off, shushing his cries, and reassuring that he will feel better soon.

You were right of course, the pain of overstimulation died off, and Gojo felt like he was melting. Everything is so warm, so light, he feels like he was on cloud nine. He feels loved, and every loose thought was traced back to you. “Love you s-so much.”

You grin at him, pressing your lips to his. His lips are chapped from his excessive panting, but you don't mind, licking at the plush flesh. He whimpers and groans, his hands pawing at you to pull you impossibly closer. When you pull back, he follows you, letting out a small huff in complaint. You pepper his face with kisses in apology. “Love you too. Such a good boy, Satoru, I'm so lucky to have such a pretty boy.”

He withers under the praise, nodding his head dumbly. He wants to coax so more out of you, but he can't think of ways, so he just rest his head on your chest, and chants, “Mommy” on repeat. 

Your hand is slow in pace, careful to not overwhelm him. It slides up and down easily, his previous cum acting as lube. His cock is bright red, and you almost feel bad for it after pulling so many orgasms from it earlier. You are suprised he is still even awake, sure, he looks and acts exhausted, but by this long he is usually passed out. He must be awake only because he is searching for praise and comfort from earlier. To not find himself in a sub drop.

You catch his eye, and a wobbly smile pulls at his face. You chuckle at him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Whaddya want from me?” He asks, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.

“Hmm?”

He taps his forehead against yours, hazy blue eyes staring into yours. “Wanna command. Wanna be useful for you.” 

You smile warmly at him and he shivers, leaning up to kiss you again. You hand rubs over his small slit, and he gasps, pausing just centimeteres before you face, and moaning out. 

“You are deep in this, aren't you sweet boy?” You murmur, mostly to your self, slightly astonished. It was one thing for him to ask for praise, and to make decisions for him, but actively seeking instructions from you was another. It was fascinating, and adorable to say the least, how desperately he craved approval, or wanted to feel needed, useful. Nothing how Gojo usually was like.

You thumb at his tip, and he heaves, trying to keep up with your words. But everything you say other than “sweet boy,” seems to tuned out. Everything feels blurry, expect for you face, and your sickenly sweet tone. “D-Don't understand. Please!”

“Okay, shhh, it's alright. I want you to cum for me. Can you cum for Mommy, Satoru? That's all I want you to do.” An easy command, one he can definitely fulfill. He can do that – he can definitely cum for you. Gojo feels his chest bloom with butterflies at the idea of what you'll say to him once he follows your wishes. How much praise he will receive. How good and useful he is being. It makes him shiver with excitement.

Your hand picks up speed when he nods, and he gasps, gripping onto your arms from the suddenness. His hips buck upward into the makeshift hole, and you coo at him, telling him to relax his hips. He abides without question, melting into the sheets, and you give him a kiss for a reward. 

He feels himself begin to teeter along his high, and he glances up at you, eyes wide and slightly panicked. He needs to ask for approval, he has to ask to cum, the rules were basically engrained in him, but everything is spinning, and he's beginning to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the pressure. He feels his voice go dry, and tears begin to pool in his eyes at the prospect of disappointing you.

You take notice of his fearful face immediately, quickly leaning over to cup his face. “You can cum. Relax, hey, its alright, I want you to cum.”

He breathes a shaky sign of relief, and you wipe his tears away, thinking back to earlier of how you wiped his tears away from the ruthless pleasure/pain mix, and now simply because he was afraid that he wasn't able to ask permission before cumming. You would be lying if the power didnt get to your head.

You thoughts are cut off when Gojos entire body jerks, and a muffled, “Fuck!” is let out. His orgasm hits him like a truck, and he trembles, riding the waves. His voice is too scratchy to let out any real noise, so he just silently cries into your chest. Cum dribbles down his cock pathetically, obviously spent, and not having much left to give. You don't seem to notice it though, instead focusing on your lover, and trying to make his orgasm as pleasurable as possible.

When he comes down from it, his legs are shaking, and his eyes are hooded with exhaustion. “P-Plea–Coconut,” He weakly gets out, and you hands fly off his body in seconds from hearing the safety word. You pull away, hoping to not overwhelm him, but instead he clings to you. “Don’t go. Don’t go. Mommy, I can't. J-Just–I…Praise!” He splutters, coherent thoughts flying out of his head, as he slumps into the bed.

You nod, staying away from his cock, and instead placing his head into your lap. His body curls around you in seconds, still slightly trembling. “Did so well. Good boy Satoru. My good boy, I am so spoiled. So lucky to have you." You coo, reaching your hand up to run it through his matted hair. "Took everything so well. I'm so proud of you." A small smile pulls at his face, and everything feels so warm "I love you so much, you know that?”

“Hm,” He hums, nodding his head slightly.

You smile at him. “My perfect boy. It's time to go to sleep, I'll take care of everything. Just rest for me, that's all I need you to do.”

But he didn't even hear the last of your statements, already passed out onto you, his chest rising and falling from his heavy breathes.

You sigh, and stare affectionately at the man. His naked body littered in marks, and he still managed to sleep contently with them. His body was drained of everything. Just like he asked you to do so hours prior.

Your hands roam the nightstand, grabbing healing cream, bandages, and a wash cloth. And with one last sigh, you place Gojo's head onto the pillow, and begin the long process of cleaning him up.

PREV POST | MASTERLIST | NEXT POST

[feeder86]

Law and Orders

Liam had rolled his eyes as he’d had his instructions from the chief to patrol the viewpoint that Saturday night. Three years into his service at this police force and he was still getting all of the tedious tasks that no one else wanted. This one, however, was always particulalrly awkward; knocking on the windows of steamed up cars, usually to find two horned-up teenagers ending their dates with a bit of heavy petting. He’d have to advise them that it was a public area and ask, didn’t they know that this was a form of public indecency? 

Like an actor upon the stage, Liam could recall the same speech each and every time. He’d have to stand there as they squirmed in his presence, or tried not to giggle nervously at having been caught by a police officer. But was it really that much of a big deal? Not so much for Liam. He’d been there, back at the end of high school, dating his first boyfriend and coming up here for some private time, given that there was nowhere else in this small town for them to go to.

Parking up that evening, Liam could see only one car in the parking lot - not surprising, given how he’d procrastinated and delayed coming up here until it was late enough for most of the cars to have dispersed naturally. Still, the steamed-up windows were a giveaway that something was afoot inside the only remaining vehicle. He took a deep breath and quietly approached the passenger window. 

Loud, longing groans were heard from inside, giving Liam the sense that his timing could not have been worse for the passionate pair. Still, he had his duty to perform.

Tap, tap, tap. 

Liam’s knuckles hit the glass; firm and authoritative. The response was always the same. A sudden silence from within, followed by a sense of panic and a delay of at least ten seconds before the window was finally rolled down.

“Officer!” came a cheery and surprisingly upbeat voice from the driver’s seat. “How can I help you?” 

It was a male’s voice, seemingly dripping with amusement from being caught out like this. Then the man reached his hand up to the interior light, illuminating the inside of the vehicle so that the officer could see their faces properly.

There were so many things for Liam to take in once he could see the two people inside the vehicle. Both male, there was a shocking contrast in their size and appearance. Liam recognised the driver straight away: Jesse, the star athlete from the year below him in high school. Liam remembered him smashing almost every sporting record held at the school; including some of the ones Liam had set himself during his time there. Now Jesse’s athletic and muscular body was looking fine in his perfectly fitted shirt; that handsome face still as alluring as ever. However, his date was not looking quite so immaculate; hijacking Liam’s attention as soon as he spotted the sauce stains smeared around the guy’s mouth. 

Liam had had no idea that Jesse dated guys. Understandable, given how quickly this jock was known for going through girls back in high school. Still, it was jarring to see the hunk’s date that evening. A large, heavy guy with a giant, ball-like stomach, equally smeared with food stains as he tried to quickly conceal it with his fumbling hands attempting to button a shirt back up as fast as possible - and failing miserably.

“I take it you gentlemen know this is a public area?” Liam began, trying to begin his usual speech and maintain his composure, despite the confusing scene that he had walked in on.

Jesse responded immediately; a beaming smile plastered across his face as if he was genuinely enjoying seeing his date squirm so much under the scrutiny of a police officer. “Oh, yeah. Sorry,” he chuckled. “It’s just so late and my big fat boy here was so hungry…” he teased.

“Jesse!” the heavyset man from the passenger seat hissed in embarrassment as the jock began stroking the guy’s large, bloated stomach that would not return into the safety of the overly tight shirt.

“Um, well…” Liam fumbled, trying to get back on track with his usual speech. He looked around the inside of the car, noticing the piles of wrappers and fast food containers that made it all so untidy. Then, with a sudden jolt in his groin, Liam recognised immediately what was going on here. This was feedism - it had to be! All the signs seemed to suggest it. Jesse was clearly enjoying watching his date stuffing himself with food to the absolute max, then rubbing that enlarged, strained gut that was giving them both so much pleasure.

“We were just heading back now, officer,” the overweight passenger declared, finally regaining some composure as his gut was at last concealed. “We’re very sorry to have taken up your time, Sir.”

“Heading back?” Jesse smirked, not done teasing his date. “But, honey, you’ve still got all this ice cream to swallow down for me…”

Liam felt his own face flushing with blood just as much as Jesse’s date. He’d always had an interest in this sort of play. He’d seen videos of guys rubbing down mostrously overweight guts and he’d read stories about the pleasure of stuffing and fattening a man to absolute extremes. Whatever he needed to tell these two men, his entire speech had left his brain. He simply stood there, mute. Finally stepping back as the window rolled shut and the car roared into life, cruising out of the parking lot and back onto the highway.

Suddenly forced back into the cold, dark silence, Liam knew that this would be a night he could never forget.

“Have you ever had any run-ins with Jesse Rodans?” Liam asked his chief the next day. 

“Scott Rodan’s lad?” the older man asked with a grimace, having had a vendetta against Jesse’s dad ever since Liam had known him. It was a small town, with old vendettas aplenty if you searched hard enough. “A couple of speeding tickets and a bit of backchat when he’s been questioned about things. But that’s what happens when daddy buys you a sports car at the age of sixteen. A typical spoiled brat. You know the type. Why do you ask?”

“Just… the speeding thing,” Liam lied, thinking on his feet. “Someone was complaining to me yesterday about seeing his car going through the middle of town at quite a pace.”

“Typical!” the chief tutted. “These rich kids are all the same. They think they own everything and that the rules don’t apply to them.”

Liam nodded, his mind still racing from his encounter the night before. Finding out that Jesse was a feeder had stirred something in him that he hadn’t felt so strongly in quite some time. He’d gazed at the body of his chief and wondered what a guy like Jesse would have made of him; almost forty, with large, sagging nipples that rested on a very large ball-shaped gut; not to mention the sheer width of the guy’s backside and the way he waddled slightly whenever he walked. It was fascinating.

“Listen, I think you should keep an eye on this Jesse and try to get to the bottom of these speeding incidents,” the chief continued, seemingly just thinking out loud. “It probably wouldn’t take much for a judge to take his driving licence away from him. And what a shame that would be, huh?” he joked, smirking wickedly as he strolled by, patting Liam on his shoulder as he did so.

Liam swallowed, half wishing that he hadn’t said anything at all.

It didn’t take long for Jesse to fall back into Liam’s orbit; especially when the young officer had waited at a concealed junction for Jesse’s drive home from the gym; just as his chief had advised. He stepped out of his vehicle, having clocked Jesse exceeding the speed limit, quite considerably, and made his way over to the driver’s window.

“Well, well, well… It’s you again,” Jesse smirked from inside his sports car, clearly unfazed from being stopped by the police.

“Do you have any idea of the speed you were just doing, sir?” Liam began.

“You know, there’s just something so sexy about a man in uniform,” Jesse continued, ignoring the question and the serious situation he was in entirely.

“Going by what I saw on Saturday night, I wouldn’t have thought I was your type,” Liam shot back breezily as he wrote out the ticket.

“Oh, don’t you worry; I’d soon fix that…” Jesse smirked, obviously checking out Liam’s tight butt as he still sat inside his own car.

Liam knew he had a job to do: issue the damn ticket and get the hell out of there. But Jesse’s words were so… indescribable to him; so unfathomably alluring and surprising. He found his concentration waning as his arousal began to spike; something that he had never experienced whilst working before.

“After all, cops love doughnuts, don’t they?” Jesse teased, simply waiting for the ticket to be handed to him and knowing that the financial penalty would mean less than nothing to him.

Liam chuckled, trying to seem more laid back than he felt. Inside his brain, every synapse seemed to be sparking with electricity. “You’re right. We do love our doughnuts,” he joked back.

Jesse smiled and didn’t respond straight away. He seemed momentarily surprised that Liam was playing along with his backchat and not just trying to stamp his authority. He raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Well then, maybe you should let me take you out for some doughnuts sometime,” he offered, brimming with his own self-confidence.

Liam felt the need to retreat, quickly. “I don’t think that would be entirely appropriate,” he mumbled.

“Neither is your boner,” Jesse retorted quickly, pointing aimlessly towards Liam’s crotch. “But, maybe if you let me take you out sometime, I’ll let it slide,” he laughed. “Here,” he offered, simultaneously taking his speeding ticket and exchanging a contact card for himself into Liam’s own hand. “Call me,” he smirked, starting up his car and racing off once more.

Left in the dust, Liam looked around in shock. What had just happened?

Thankfully, no complaint had been made against Liam the following week. He’d not slept all that well; anxious about the possibility of Jesse making an accusation against him for his conduct during the speeding ticket incident. But then there was the other reason why he hadn’t slept… 

Liam had always had a bit of a fat kink for as long as he could remember; a fascination with the way the blubber spread across a body, jiggling and moving as they walked. He’d often yearned to know what that felt like and became aroused by the idea of the teasing and comments he might get if he ever was to let go in the same way that a guy like his chief had. But he’d had a goal to join the force for many years now, and that had required hard training and dedication. Even at the height of his high school sporting success, he’d never been in the peak physical condition that he was in right now. Yet, the thought of a real feeder wanting to get hold of him… he could hardly describe the arousal that gave him. Not that Liam was ever going to give Jesse a call. Not ever.

It was a late finish one Friday evening when Liam was walking out to the parking lot and saw Jesse sitting on the hood of his sports car, grinning at him. Liam froze instantly, his heart pounding.

“There you are!” Jesse smirked. “I’ve been out here over an hour waiting for your shift to finish.”

“Can I help you with something?” Liam asked, still trying to stay in work-mode and handle this professionally.

“My date tonight fell through, so I thought I’d come and find you instead. I’ve been waiting for you to call me. Guys don’t usually leave me hanging like that,,” he smiled, as if completely in control of the situation.

“Is this about the speeding ticket?” Liam asked, trying to avoid getting turned on by Jesse’s perfectly toned body, or lose himself in the guy’s deep brown eyes.

Jesse simply laughed. “You’re cute. Come on,” he beckoned, already getting himself into his car. “We’ll just grab a bite to eat.”

The lights on the sports car swivelled into life and the deep rumble of the engine rolled through the quiet evening. Still Liam stood there, frozen to the spot. And yet, there were his feet slowly starting to shuffle forwards. Jesse slid the car towards him and reached across to swing open the door. Then, just like that, Liam was sitting inside, roaring down the street with no idea where he was heading.

“I wasn’t sure whether you remembered me from high school,” Liam chuckled after they’d parked up somewhere a few minutes later and the conversation had started to flow. “After all, I was in the year above you.”

“No, I recongnised you right away,” Jesse explained. “I used to date one of your best friends. Not that he’s ever come out of the closet. Even now, after all these years.”

“You did?” Liam asked, surprised. “Who was it?”

“Your buddy, Martin.”

“Martin..? But… no! That can’t be right!” Liam spluttered. “He’s married to a woman.”

“And probably living unhappily ever after,” Jesse simply chuckled without a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Well, I never would have guessed that!” Liam sighed in shock.

“I’m the reason he got kicked off the football team. I put 50lbs of pure fat on him within five months of dating. He was my first success story.”

“That was YOU?” Liam blasted in alarm, thinking back to how much weight Martin had gained in their final few months of high school, and how quietly erotic it had all seemed to his impressionable young mind.

“It’s amazing what a few substitutes in a protein shake can do to a guy,” Jesse sniggered.

“So he didn’t even realise what you were doing?” Liam asked, flabbergasted.

Jesse simply chuckled without regret. “I worked hard for my bad boy reputation,” he nodded proudly. “I was a horny seventeen year old, dating my first boyfriend and had free access to my dad’s credit card. I knew how to spoil a guy with a naturally good appetite, like Martin.”

“He never lost that weight, you know,” Liam continued. “I saw him a couple of months ago. He’s still pretty chubby. Even now.”

Jesse huffed with disapproval. “Yeah, but he should be fatter by now. If he hadn’t dumped me the minute his sister was close to finding out about us, I could have had him up and over 500lbs by now. That boy was an absolute pig!” he laughed nostalgically.

Liam chuckled, briefly assuming that Jesse was joking. By the time he realised he wasn’t, he felt the hardness in his crotch throb even more. He tried to change the conversation onto something more conventional but Jesse was having none of it, staring into his eyes flirtatiously and rubbing his hand across Liam’s thigh in a way that set fireworks off in his head. He leaned in and, even without thinking, Liam’s lips moved to meet his. He felt his hands brushing against Jesse’s athletic chest and his heart racing faster than ever. There was something so inescapably intoxicating about Jesse: the confidence, the swagger, the complete lack of shame. Falling into his trap felt like such a sweet dream.

“Do you want to see me again?” Jesse whispered as they came out of a long spell of passion.

“Yes,” Liam answered immediately, making Jesse smirk.

“Good,” the hunk whispered, remaining calmer and more composed than Liam could. Then he made his move, sliding his hand across Liam’s flat, muscular stomach and grinning with a wicked intention that flared every one of Liam’s senses.

Despite the pathetic speed with which Liam responded to any messages from Jesse in the coming weeks, he couldn’t honest;y say that he was ‘dating’ the man he had issued a speeding ticket to only a few weeks earlier. Jesse simply had an intoxicating, devilish way about him that Liam could never resist. They began fooling around together on a semi-regular basis. Jesse would come over and be his usual, flirtatious self. He’d begin talking about the fat guys he’d dated or fed, then smirk as he saw how Liam couldn’t quite hide his arousal. They’d kiss whilst Jesse explained some more. They’d begin stripping their clothes off as Jesse described in detail how mercilessly he’d stuffed even the very greediest guys and rejoiced in seeing their clothes getting tighter and tighter; from the sprouting of a brand new pot belly to the sagging of a monstrous tank. Those stories and minute details never failed to make Liam climax with more intensity than ever before. 

“So that’s your boss?” Jesse asked, picking Liam up from the station one evening. 

“That’s the chief. Yes,” Liam nodded, already sensing that the feeder was swooning over his boss’ gigantic gut.

“Now I finally understand why some folks have a thing for guys in uniform,” Jesse joked. “There’s no hiding a gut like that under those shirts! My cousin is a lucky gal!”

“Your cousin?” Liam asked.

“It’s a small town. Everyone is related somehow,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “My dad, perhaps unfarily, inherited the entirety of his father’s business. Now the rest of the family want nothing to do with us. Which is quite a shame, considering the eye candy that’s married into it…” he joked, still admiring the fat-bellied man.

The two of them watched as the chief waddled from the station. Then they both laughed as they saw him trotting into the pizza place a couple of doors down and fished out his wallet to order something tasty for himself mid-shift.

“That’s it, Fat Boy!” Jesse whispered as he watched the obese man from the darkness of the car. “Eat up, Piggy. Bust a few more buttons on that shirt for me,” he chuckled.

Liam laughed. He had so much respect for his boss, but hearing Jesse reducing him to nothing more than a greedy glutton was also turning him on in a way that he didn’t realise it would. “I think your cousin is a bit of a feeder,” Liam went on to explain, curious to see where his observations may lead the conversation. “She’s super slim, and yet, she sends him into work with some of the biggest slices of cake I’ve ever seen.”

Jesse laughed wickedly, still eyeing the chief as the man leaned over the counter to order; displaying the full width of his broad, under-exercised butt. “Of course she does!” he nodded.”We’re probably cut from the same cloth; her and me.” Then he turned to Liam and kissed him passionately, full of arousal. “You coming back to my place?” 

Despite being a year older than Jesse and considerably more well rounded in his life experiences and career, Liam had the overwhelming sense that he was being wined and dined by someone much more polished and worldly wise than himself. Jesse lived in an apartment, bought for him by his parents, and had an overpaid position within their family business that was clearly little more than an excuse to get him out of bed in the morning. Yet, whenever Liam saw him, spoke to him, was coaxed into climaxing by him, Jesse would tell one of his well crafted real-life stories about feeding and weight gain. So aroused, Liam felt like he was in the presence of someone much more remarkable than anyone he had ever met in his life. He knew that Jesse’s charm and the affection was all part of the hunk’s toolkit. How better to make him relax than to lavish him with attention and quietly suggest that they head out for some more food…

Liam was panting, having just climaxed rather forcefully for the second time that night, watching a video Jesse had recorded last year. It was one of several videos on Jesse’s cell phone of him feeding and pleasuring guys of varying levels of obesity. Indeed, Jesse was so skilled at coaxing them into overeating, so clever with his well timed name-calling and erotic coaching, so tactile in the way he handled all their fat; it was impossible not to explode everywhere the minute the feeder started swirling his hand over his groin.

“I’m guessing you enjoyed that video?” Jesse smirked, admiring the mess all over Liam’s broad chest and starting to clear it up with a towel.

“You bet I did!” Liam nodded. “You’re so awesome!” he declared, feeling so completely satisfied in that moment. “I can’t believe that I found you, right here in this town; the year below me in high school, no less! You’re the only person I’ve ever met who shares this kink with me. It’s unbelieveable. We’re just… so similar.”

Jesse smirked again; a wry knowing smile. “We’re not similar, Liam,” he chuckled to himself.

“Of course we are,” Liam shot back, snuggling into Jesse. “We both just came watching gainer porn.”

“No, you just came watching gainer porn,” Jesse corrected him, allowing Liam to rest his head on his toned chest. “I came because I was watching you.”

“What’s the difference?” Liam laughed.

Jesse kissed the back of Liam’s head. “You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” he sighed, almost patronisingly.

Liam sat up a little and turned to face Jesse so that he could see his face. “What do you mean by that?”

“You make like you don’t know what’s happening here. When I train you to climax watching all this shit,” Jesse laughed. “I’ve monopolised your time for weeks, not letting you go to the gym or choose what we’re eating.” He paused, with eyes filling with mischief. Then he simply reached his hand out to Liam’s stomach and grabbed a small fold of fat that was starting to smother the guy’s abs. “I came because I was watching my very latest piggy project.”

Liam looked down at the fold of skin between Jesse’s fingers, hardly comprehending its existence. He heard Jesse’s soft moans as his fingers gently pressed against it and he watched with amazement at how fast the guy’s flacid penis filled with blood once more and stood erect.

“Suck it!” Jesse ordered him with a sudden burst of dominance. “Suck my dick, Pig Boy!” he barked, quoting the line from the feeding video that had previously sent Liam over the edge and made him ejaculate.

Liam’s mouth watered and he felt his head drifting into Jesse’s crotch and his lips parting.

“Mmm! That’s it, Fatty!” Jesse moaned, clearly arousing himself with his own words. “Good pigs know how to make their feeders happy.”

Liam felt his arousal spiking hearing the version of Jesse he had watced so many times on the videos he had been shown, suddenly appearing right in front of him: the bossy, hedonistic dominant now ordering him around in real life. Jesse had been right, those videos were so sexy to Liam because he had always imagined himself in the position of the gainers Jesse cajoled into overindulgence. That was the ultimate difference between them both. There weren’t many things that Liam was sure of in those moments, but there was one thing he was certain of: he was going to give Jesse the best blow job of his life.

In the following days, Liam could not remember a time when he had ever been so incredibly horny. Although all talk of his miniscule weight gain had ceased, the way that Jesse was now touching and handling him had altered beyond recognition. The subtle manipulations to stop him heading to the gym or choosing healthier food options were now nothing short of blatant. When Jesse discussed the future, he spoke of Liam’s decline into obesity as if it was an inescapable inevitability; a consequence of how aroused he was by the gainer videos he got off to, or the company he kept in allowing Jesse into his life. He opened his mouth and ate what he was fed during their sexual foreplay. He allowed himself to climax looking at the bloat of his stomach and got more caught up than ever in the tales that Jesse told.

“Does this mean that I’m officially a gainer?” Liam asked, handling an increasing softness that was swallowing his abs. He knew what he wanted Jesse to tell him; to call him a greedy piggy again, or declare that his 10lb gain was just the start of something a lot more serious; to make him ejaculate as yet another fresh doughnut was pushed into his mouth.

“No. Of course you’re not a gainer,” Jesse replied simply, as if the answer had been obvious. 

The response caught Liam by surprise. “Why not?” he asked back, startled by his own disappointment.

“Because you don’t look any different yet,” Jesse shot back. “Sure, I can see a little extra blubber on your stomach, but you’ve got to be realistic here. No one has even noticed. This all just looks like a little muscle bulk with the way you’re filling out your shirts so far.”

“But, this isn’t muscle,” Liam mumbled. “I mean… look at me!”

“Honey!” Jesse laughed, rubbing Liam’s butt. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I might know that you’re a greedy little piggy, but the moment other people start seeing a change, that’s when we’ll know whether you’re a gainer or not.”

Liam looked confused, but the smug look on Jesse’s face made him rethink questioning the logic further. “If you say so,” he sighed. The idea of being a gainer did sound hot, but he was never really going to commit to it long-term.

When Liam looked in the mirror over the coming weeks, he noticed the puffiness of his blossoming cheeks and neck. Whilst his built body did well to hide the emerging swell underneath his clothes, Liam did begin to wonder whether anyone had actually noticed the now over 25lbs he had gained since officially dating Jesse. It didn’t matter that his clothes had grown so tight and needed changing; if no one was actually noticing, what real difference did it make? He was indulging his kinks, having the best time with Jesse, and not having to worry about anything else. It was a win, win!

Liam was in the station when it happened the first time. He was chatting to his colleague, Sandra about the new patisserie that had opened up in a nearby town when he noticed two other colleagues seem to snigger at each other. He looked over and furrowed his eyebrows, assuming that he was imagining it. Then, when he continued talking about the pastries he most enjoyed, he noticed them doing it again, out of the corner of his eye. Now when he looked over, one of the guys elbowed the other, as if to signal that they had been caught, and the pair of them burst into laughter.

“What’s up?” Liam asked them, managing to hide his annoyance.

The pair looked at each other and smirked, as if daring themselves to admit what they had been talking about. In the end, one of them sighed and chuckled, finally turning to face Liam.

“Dude, is food the only thing you talk about these days?” he blurted out.

“Don’t be jerks,” Sandra called out to the pair of them, as if she knew where they were going with this.

“All we’re saying is…” the other guy continued, “...you may want to start laying off all those pastries you’re so obsessed with.” Then, with a very accusatory finger, he pointed directly at Liam’s midsection and chuckled once again.

Liam looked down. He hadn’t noticed the strain and obvious thickness that his shirt was clearly now showing, and he sat up in shock, swallowing hard. His heart was beating fast and he could feel his face flushing. He sucked in his stomach, but that only seemed to make the two guys laugh even more.

“Ignore them. They’re being idiots,” Sandra offered consolingly, her eyes full of sympathy. “It’s not as if they’re not carrying a few extra pounds themselves.”

Liam felt the air catch in his chest and butterflies fill his stomach. Warm blood seemed to be filling his groin and a gentle tingling sensation stimulated the tip of his penis. This was it; the moment Jesse had talked about. People were actually calling him out on dropping the ball with his gym routine, his over-indulgence with food and the not so subtle effect it was having on his once immaculate body. He couldn’t put his finger on how it was making him feel, despite the panic it set in motion in his brain. All he knew was that the semi it gave him wouldn’t go down for the entirety of his shift.

“What were the fake protein shakes you used to make for Martin back in high school?” Liam asked, almost breathless with lust the next time he caught up with Jesse.

Jesse smiled wickedly with the memory. “You don’t want to know,” he chuckled to himself.

Liam kissed the perfect, sexy specimen in front of him as if he had just given the most perfect answer. “You’re right, I don’t want to know. I just want you to feed them to me instead. Every single night.”

Jesse took a step back. “Sure thing,” he nodded, despite the fact that his tone gave away his skepticism at Liam’s sincerity.

“I’m serious,” Liam protested. “I want to get fat for you. Seriously fucking fat!”

“You’d eat or drink anything I gave you? Without question?” Jesse asked, more intrigued.

With a burst of arousal, Liam had to reach down and touch himself as Jesse considered the proposal. In that moment, he realised that this form of surrender to Jesse was the thing that he had most wanted to do since he had first seen him in that parking lot. “Yes,” he nodded. “Without question.”

“You want to be my big, fat piggy?” Jesse asked, grinning now. Excited.

Liam kissed him passionately, the pair of them collapsing onto the couch. “Do it to me!” Liam demanded. “No holding back. Give me all you’ve got. Every last dirty trick in your feeding handbook!”

Behind his calculating eyes, Liam could see Jesse’s mind whirring into life; the firing of synapses and initation of thought processes that would ultimately, and irreversibly, alter Liam’s physique even further. 

Over the coming weeks, Liam learned many new things about Jesse. Firstly, the guy’s ruthless ambitions when it came to transforming Liam’s physique was very apparent. This wasn’t simply a case of growing a little paunh or pot belly: the moobs, the back fat and double chins. Jesse observed every inch of his body, waiting for the changes to occur. Also, despite knowing how smart and shrewd Jesse was, the precision with which the guy planned Liam’s diet was really quite startling. Nothing that went into Liam’s mouth hadn’t been considered and chosen with care. Nothing that was whispered into his ear in those erotic moments hadn’t been tailored with perfection to trigger Liam’s emerging kinks. And when Liam was allowed to climax, there hadn’t been a single second wasted to ensure that every single possible calorie hadn’t been pushed into his saliva-dripping mouth first.

“Hey, Handsome,” Jesse smiled as Liam walked into his place after a long shift. He kissed him and let his hands slide around to feel up the officer’s glutes at the same time. It was one of the moments Liam found most arousing, knowing that this form of inspection was ongoing. He knew that Jesse wasn’t just waiting for his tight rear to simply develop a little softness; he was willing them, forcing them and programming them to swell and widen, losing all manner of shape or athleticism.

Liam first had to explain exactly what he had eaten on his night shift and how much of the shakes Jesse had provided had actually been consumed. Then Jesse nodded, writing it all down and adjusted his measures for the shakes he would prepare today. There wouldn’t be a weigh-in. Those only happened in the mornings when Liam had slept all night and his stomach was emptied. Jesse stated that he had no desire to cloud his data with false measurements; the results of bloating or stuffings that would only be temporary.

“How’re the new pants?” Jesse asked, sitting Liam down and heading to the refrigerator for a shake.

“Better,” Liam nodded, watching his boyfriend preparing things for him as he rested his feet. He hadn’t suffered as much with his pants during his shift as he had in previous days. Still, there was something rather startling about the fact that he now had to wear a 36 inch waist and still not being entirely comfortable. 

He undid his shirt buttons and allowed his increasingly puffy chest begin to appear. Then, with a final tug, he let the newly-developed, squishy fat roll around his stomach plop onto his belt and he sighed with satisfaction, knowing that it looked even better than yesterday.

Jesse’s smirk seemed to agree as he looked over and surveyed the changes. Then, with well-oiled precision, he tipped Liam’s head back, inserted the funnel and began pouring once again. “Good piggy!”

A stark contrast began to develop between Jesse and Liam. It had been the summer when they’d made their relationship official and Jesse later admitted that he’d deliberately chosen to introduce Liam to all his family and friends at pool parties or beach trip; where Liam’s former physique had been well on show. It meant that the looks Liam was now getting were nothing short of rude: the stares, the sly comments. They made Jesse laugh and they triggered the well-trained regions of Liam’s brain so that they gave him the most pathetic of hard-ons that only a true gainer could understand.

“Are you still hungry, honey?” Jesse asked as the pair of them enjoyed a house warming party at one of Jesse’s friends' places.

Liam stifled a burp and shook his head. His new paunch felt as tight as a drum and seemed particularly emphasised by the oddly fitting t-shirt that Jesse had insisted he wore.

Jesse chuckled, never failing to be particularly affectionate with him when there was an audience. “Don’t be silly, baby. I’ll go get you some more cake,” he grinned, sliding off with that wicked smile on his face.

Liam looked up awkwardly at the friends of Jesse all gazed down on him with concern. They’d all long got the measure of Jesse, having witnessed him overfeeding many overweight and swelling boyfriends in the past. But the thing that they coild not be certain of was whether Liam knew any of this. Did he know that all this weight he had amassed in recent months had been far from accidental? That Jesse was clearly getting off on this, that he was probably even boasting about it behind Liam’s back? Yet they all, every last one of them, sat back and looked on with guilt as they allowed Jesse to continue pushing slice after slice of cake on an ever fattening Liam.

“Are you still using your gym subscription?” asked Liam’s aunt one afternoon when he had gone round to help her unclog her gutters.

Liam rolled his eyes whilst on the ladder, knowing that from this angle his aunt had a perfect view of his swollen tummy pushing out from the bottom of his shirt. “Sometimes,” he lied.

“Well…” Liam’s aunt sighed, ready to begin her speech. Mentioning the gym was, as Liam had learned in recent months, the way that a lot of people had quietly begun a conversation about his sudden weight gain and how he needed to get himself back in shape. “It just seems to me that…”

However, before she could get underway, the rumble of Jesse’s sports car filled their ears and Liam’s boyfriend soon rolled into the driveway.

“Martha!” he grinned charmingly, going in for a hug, knowing that all of the women in Liam’s family were smitten with him. “I hear you need some help with these drains.”

“Oh, yes. But, Liam’s got it all under control,” she smiled, failing to keep her eyes from wandering as handsome Jesse removed his shirt to begin the dirty work.

“This guy?” Jesse joked, pointing to his lover and handing him a covert calorie shake, right there in front of his aunt. “You’ll be waiting around all day if you leave it to Liam. You two head inside and I’ll have this all wrapped up in five minutes flat,” he smiled, taking the gloves from Liam and energetically hopping up onto the ladder in his place.

“Well, if you’re sure?” Martha mumbled, looking up awkwardly as Jesse’s muscular physique flexed beautifully in the afternoon light. Her gaze shifted to Liam; bloated, strangely pot-bellied and gulping down a shake as if he had just run a marathon. Then, like most others, she began to wonder just what it was that such a handsome man saw in her now quite noticeably overweight nephew.

“I hear you’re getting married,” Liam’s chief muttered, seeing Liam alone at his desk and quietly gorging himself on a few doughnuts. 

Liam nodded, always feeling a little awkward when the chief tried to talk to him about his private life. Ever since he had learned that the chief’s wife was an estranged cousin of Jesse’s, Liam had felt like he was somehow caught in the middle.

The chief sat himself down, making the desk chair squeak in protest, and the large man sighed as if he had been considering his words carefully for the last few days. “Jesse is a good looking guy, but are you sure he’s who you really want?” he asked tentatively.

Liam nodded again. “Oh yes. Definitely,” he stated with certainty.

The chief smiled and chuckled slightly at the optimism of young love. “You remind me of myself at your age,” he sighed. “I used to be just like you.”

Liam couldn’t help feeling a twinge of arousal at the comparison. His well-trained mind automatically thought of all the times Jesse had told him how monstrously fat he would be in the future, and the idea of somehow ending up just like the chief someday was particularly exciting for him.

“It’s just…” the chief tried once more, rubbing his enormous stomach as if to give him courage. “You know how our families are linked?” he asked, having never mentioned it himself to Liam before now. He then waited for Liam to nod his head before continuing. “I feel like there are quite a few similarities between my wife and your Jessie. I love her dearly, but she’s no angel,” he chuckled affectionately to himself. “She had quite a reputation for being a bad girl around town when she was younger; certainly not a respectable choice for a young officer like myself to be dating back then!”

“Yeah, I’ve heard some of the stories,” Liam smiled back.

“The thing is…” the chief pressed on. “I started putting on a lot of weight when she asked me out.” He paused, taking a moment to look thoughtfully at Liam. “I thought it was just me being greedy. But I very quickly realised that that wasn’t the case. Or, at least, it wasn’t always the case,” he conceded.

Liam rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and found himself instinctively sucking in his stomach. He knew exactly where the chief’s comments were leading and he squirmed inwardly, now unable to make eye contact with him.

“It started fairly slowly; pants not fitting, shirts getting tight. I noticed this little tire around my waist and my appetite was becoming insatiable. I started looking more closely at my diet and I could see my wife… well, she was only my girlfriend back then… I could see that she was massively overfeeding me. On purpose.”

Liam raised his eyebrows, pretending to act surprised. Everyone here pretty much knew that the chief’s wife was a feeder.

“When something like that happens, you’ve got two choices,” the chief continued, looking hard at Liam. “My wife wasn’t going to change, so I could either make a run for it and get myself back in shape, or, I could embrace it.” Then, with a sweeping stroke of his strained, oversized stomach, the chief made clear what his choice had been. “And if you don’t mind me saying so, it looks like history may be repeating itself with you…”

Liam cleared his throat nervously. “You think?” he mumbled, looking away and feeling flushed with embraracement.

“What I’m about to say may shock you, but I believe that you need to hear it. I think your fiance might be a feeder.”

Liam felt the eyes of the chief upon him, searching for a reaction. “Um, wow…” he mumbled in response. “A feeder? You really think so?”

“Trust me, I know the signs,” the chief nodded, pointing directly at the puffed up stomach on Liam.

“Wow… I, uh. I don’t know what to say,” Liam mumbled.

“Now, what you do with this information is up to you,” the chief rambled on, holding his hands up as if his job was now complete; his conscience clean. “But, do you love him?”

The chief’s question caught Liam off-guard and the man repeated it once more, as if the young officer had not heard it the first time.

“Yes,” Liam nodded sincerely. “I do.”

“And this… this thing I told you about won’t change that?”

“No. Never,” Liam stated with absolute certainty.

The chief beamed. “Well then…” he declared, reaching over and stealing one of Liam’s doughnuts. “Do yourself a favour and change that shirt of yours for something bigger. Those buttons have been straining all week. I know how hard it is when you gain a few pounds and how people talk. But if anyone says anything, I want you to come straight to me. Okay?”

Liam nodded; his eyes still wide with shock. 

“However, saying that, if you want people to take you seriously around here, you’ll need to keep your uniform nice and smart and, most importantly, roomy. Always at least one size up. You hear me?”

Liam nodded and smiled. He hadn’t realised how much a simple act of acceptance could make him feel so good, as well as strangely aroused. “Yes, Chief,” he beamed.

After that day, Liam didn’t feel quite so much need to suck his stomach in at work. Jesse noticed a change in him too; the way he didn’t mind slouching in public and holding himself in a way that would obviously be rather conventionally unflattering to his appearance. It was a good thing too, for the small little paunch that had been in development was very quickly taking shape into something much more sizable. Liam rested his hands on top of it, hardly believing that the little shelf of stomach fat was actually his. He turned to his side in the mirror, marvelling at the plush love handles that had swollen from above his hips and he bounced his under-exercised glutes, getting aroused by the sheer weight and softness that had developed within them. 

Jesse, meanwhile, had been training his own body in the complete opposite direction, building his chest and pecs more than ever before; never failing to take his shirt off at any opportunity. “Look at us!” the hunk would order as they both gazed at their naked reflections in the mirror; their increasingly contrasting forms exciting them both more and more each and every time.

“Only three more weeks to go until the wedding,” Jesse reminded his lover as the final calorie shake of the day sat there on the counter, waiting for Liam to be ready for it. 

Liam exhaled, knowing that he would indeed have to find space in his stomach for the shake somewhere. This time of night was always the hardest; the final push before bed. However, it was also the most enoyable time; when his gut was at its tightest and it pushed out in front of him as if he was already another 30lbs heavier. “Just give me another couple of minutes and I’ll be ready,” he smiled lovingly at his finace. Even now, he couldn’t believe his luck, finding someone so sexy and fun, willing to push him to these extremes and watch him grow. “I love you,” he whispered as Jesse moved down to Liam’s crotch, stimulating his appetite by keeping him erect and horny the entire time.

“I love you too, Fat Boy!” Jesse teased back. “And I can’t wait to have you as my husband. All mine at long last!”

Liam sighed in joy. He loved this idea more than anything else; being Jesse’s plaything for the rest of his life; being shaped and moulded, just as the handsome hunk wanted. “Some days, I just can’t believe how lucky I am that you chose me,” Liam smiled; his eyes dripping with lust as Jesse’s mouth slid seductively over his hardness.

“You know exactly why I chose you,” Jesse laughed, “Out of all the fatties I’ve ever played with, none of them ever got as hard as your little dick does when I tell them how fat they’re going to get.”

Liam nodded, knowing that Jesse had indeed told him this many times; that from the first time he had reached down and held Liam’s erection, felt the strength of the muscle, the warmth of all the blood coursing through it, the throbbing with every word Jesse spoke about feeding and fattening others, Liam’s lardy fate had always been clear to him.

“If you think I’m tough on you now, just wait until after the wedding, Piggy,” Jesse grinned, standing up and grabbing Liam’s shake to hand it to him. “You’re going to be swallowing a lot more of these soon,” he laughed, stroking Liam’s double chin until the guy’s head fell back, ready for the calories to be poured in.

Liam returned from his two week honeymoon a very much changed man. It was as if all of his previous athleticism had finally been stripped from him, His chest had at last succumed to the mounting fat that was swelling across his body, and his upper arms, once so muscular and toned, had now begun to shake and jiggle as the softing mass spread underneath the surface of the skin. The photographer had sent the first shots from their wedding day and Jesse had purposefully fed Liam and sucked him off whilst he gazed at the most unflattering of all of them; his puffy cheeks, double chin and rounded gut there for all to see. Already he looked as if he had spent a lifetime with his feeder, yet it had really only just begun. He’d hit 300lbs on their honeymoon through a considerable amount of effort on both their parts. Now, back in work, his natural hunger was hard to satisfy. With help from the chief, he’d applied for, and accepted, a promotion at work, leading to greater responsibilities and more time at his desk; a very much welcome relief. Since dating Jesse, he’d gradually become more estranged from the colleagues he used to hang around with, only making it easier when he became the one to issue orders and instructions to them.

“Hi Joe,” Jesse grinned, strutting into the station and waving at the enormously obese chief, much as he always did. The large man was still so much bigger than Liam and yet, that gap was narrowing every single day. “Where’s my handsome husband got to?”

“In there,” the chief pointed to a little room to the side. “He may still be a while yet. It’s quite a complicated case.”

Jesse slumped in the chair like a spoiled brat denied his plaything. “Has he at least eaten well today?” Jesse asked his cousin’s husband. “I’m trying to get at least six thousand calories down him every day this week.”

“Oh, he’ll have hit that, no problem,” the chief nodded. “I saw him drinking three of your special shakes today and a very big lunch. Plus, I saw him coming back with a tray of doughnuts earlier and there certainly aren’t any left now. I told you those appetite stimulants would be effective in his shakes. He won’t even taste them in there if you keep adding enough syrrup to the recipe.”

Jesse nodded. He definitely had to agree. In fact, his cousin’s enormously oversized husband had been a great source of expertise from the very start.

“Since you’re here, you can look at this,” the chief chuckled, reaching into his desk drawer with a grunt. “I found it the other day; our Police staff Christmas party from four years ago. Just look at how slim and fit Liam was back then! His tiny waist! Who would have guessed he’d turn into such a porker after this?” he laughed.

Jesse laughed as well, seeing the once athletic and naturally handsome man he had since married and fattened beyond recognition; now swollen over 360lbs and fattening more every single day. “Well, you certainly guessed it,” Jesse chuckled back at his cousin’s husband. “I never would have spotted him as a potential fatty without you giving me the heads up and tyring to push us together.”

The chief chuckled to himself and nodded in agreement. “I’m fairly good at spotting guys with the same kinks as me. It was at the party…” he pointed back at the photograph in his hand, “that I spotted him looking across at my fat gut, and I just knew there was a hint of jealousy in there. All he needed was the right feeder to get their hands on him,” he laughed. “Your cousin always said you’d be ruthless once you got your own fatty to play with, and she was right. It was the least I could do, after all the help you gave us when I first got with your cousin. I was so desperate to get fat. My old abs didn’t know what had hit them once you started assisting us,” he smiled, reminising fondly. “A bit like your Liam. You should hear some of the names they call him down here behind his back now!” he grinned, clearly taking pleasure from being a part of it all.

“It looks like they’re finishing up,” Jesse noticed, seeing shadows moving behind the drawn blinds of the room where Liam was in. Then he stepped back from the chief and perched himself on Liam’s desk, waiting innocently.

Liam emerged, his hands on his wide hips and looking tired. He wore his tie long, draping over his large stomach which had started to untuck the ever-shrinking shirt that tried to contain it. “What are you doing here?” he beamed, seeing his muscular husband waiting for him. He strolled over, suddenly noticing the chief not far away and deciding to remain professional in his presence. 

“Special delivery,” Jesse winked, passing over a couple of flasks of calorie shakes, which Liam immediately tried to conceal from the chief’s view. “Just because you need to work late, doesn’t mean I’m letting you slide on your calorie targets today.”

Liam smiled, but shushed Jesse nonetheless in case the chief overheard him and thought they were an even more strange and mismatched pair than he probably already did.

“You will be home soon, won’t you?” Jesse asked, grinning like a man who already knew his charms. “I’ve got something very special in the oven for my Fat Boy!” he teased, discreetly patting his husband’s gut in a way that he knew would excite him.

“I won’t be too much longer, I promise,” Liam smiled back, smitten with love and lust for the man of his dreams. “And then I’ll eat every last bite for you…”

Jesse grinned. “Good boy,” he laughed, giving Liam a quick peck on the lips and walking away, only giving the chief a simple, polite wave, as if they were mere casual acquaintances after all. “I’ll hold you to that, Fatty!”

[moonlightwonie]

Can I please request something with bang chan?

You've been trapped by his presence and he won't let you go and you're losing the spark in your eyes and chan doesn't know what to do.

So he tries to fuck his love unto you.

'Tell me how to make you happy?', 'tell me what I need to do for you to love me'

TW: ANGST & SMUT, NSFW 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT‼️

bf!bangchan x gn reader || word count: 1.3k

angst, crying, dirty talk, spit, choking, kind of toxic tbh (oops) i wrote a lot, so prepare yourself 🫣

꧁ MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE꧂

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★ 🔮 ☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

you and chan had been dating for a little over a year now, from the moment you two started dating, you had always spent so much time together. whenever you weren’t together it was only because of work or day to day activities, where you absolutely couldn’t be together. he’d always showed you and told you how much he loved you from the beginning, which was a little overwhelming to you at first, but you were still attracted to him and loved being around him. you could tell that he was a special guy, you just needed some time to get comfortable and let yourself fall for him.

as time went on, you just felt the spark kind of dying out, atleast on your end. you loved chan, but whenever it came down to anything intimate, you just weren’t feeling any… electricity; and that really bugged you, because how could you not be sexually attracted to him?? he’s handsome, has a big heart, a wicked sense of humor, and he treated you like a queen. he was a total sweetheart, you were his whole world. his top most priority was making you feel happy and loved. you couldn’t keep going on like this, how could you lead him on any further? you didn’t want to hurt him, you did love him after all, you just weren’t feeling that spark anymore.

once he got home from practice, you were immediately greeted with a big, bright smile and open arms, “heyy, baby!! c’mere, i missed you” he said as you walked over to him and gave him a small hug, which was nothing compared to the giant bear hug he gave you. “chris, we have to talk… it’s important” you muttered as you nervous bit on your lip, averting your gaze to the floor as you tried to calm your nerves.

the cheeriness and joy in his eyes quickly turned to worry and concern, taking your hands in his as he looked at you with a small frown. “w-what is it, y/n? is something wrong?” he’d ask you, making you shake your head and walk him over to the couch. “i don’t know how to say this… but… uh, well…” you’d start saying before looking up into his eyes, seeing the anxiety plastered on his face.

“it’s okay, it’s okay… just.. just say it, love” he muttered softly as he fought some tears in his eyes. because deep down he had a feeling of where this conversation was going. he could feel the difference in how you looked at him, the hesitation whenever he’d go to hold your hand, whenever he kissed you or when you two had sex, everything just felt off.

you sighed softly at his words and shook your head, “i.. chris, you’re such a good guy.. and you have always treated me so so well” you started to say, “but i just… i don’t think i have feelings for you anymore… i love you, just… just not like-“ you were cut off by your boyfriend, “just not what? like a boyfriend?? is that it?” he covered his mouth, tears boiling in his eyes as he tried to form proper sentences through the hurt, “how long have you felt this way? is it something i said or did? is something i didn’t do???”.

“no no no, baby, it’s nothing that you did.. it’s just-“ you went to wipe his tears, but he shook his head and gently pushed your hands away. “is it because of my schedule? i’ll drop everything if it means making you stay.. i’ll do anything for you to stay, absolutely anything for you to love me!! just tell me, y/n, what do i have to do for you to love me??” he asked as he fell to his knees infront of you. “do i not please you good enough? b-because i can do better, yeah.. i can be better for you and make you feel good, is that what you want, baby??” he asked eagerly as he bit his lip whilst looking into your eyes, tears filled in his own as he gently caressed your knees, “please?”.

fuck. you had no words. god, you hated yourself for this. you had this precious man literally crying on his knees, begging for you to love him. why couldn’t you just be normal and fall for him? fuck. you hated it whenever chan would cry, especially knowing it was because of you. “chris, it’s not that easy.. it’s not like that” you’d tell him as you wiped away his tears, “well can’t i atleast try? do you know how much this kills me? i just want you to love me” he sniffled whilst tilting his head, “please, please let me show you how much i love you? maybe i can make you love me, one way or another, i don’t care”.

you sighed heavily before nodding and caving into his words, sniffling at your own tears as you looked down into his eyes. “o-okay, channie… just please don’t cry” you said before you were interrupted by a sudden kiss to your lips. he cupped your face and pulled you in closer, kissing you deeply as he began untying his sweatpants. you had to admit, you didn’t mind having sex with him, you just didn’t feel the emotional elements of it with him… or maybe just not as deeply as him.

one thing lead to another, the two of you had been lying on the same couch you’d both been crying on, feeling him split you open with his cock and hold your hips in place. you couldn’t help but moan and mutter his name, he’d been making you feel so good, after all. “y-ya like that, baby? does.. hmm, does that feel good?” he’d asked you as he leaned down to kiss and suck on your neck, “do you see how much i love you? how much i’m willing to prove my love for you?” he muttered against your salty skin. you didn’t know what to say, you had already been feeling all fucked out AND he was making you feel good, but you still felt so guilty, because you knew this wouldn’t change anything, and yet here you were letting him use your body like this.

“tell me you love me, baby.. p-please? please just tell me once?” he begged as he looked deep into your eyes, making you sigh and throw your head back, “i… i.. i can’t” you said through your moans, feeling a pit in your stomach as you cursed yourself. “w-what?” he asked with wide eyes, slowing down his movements as he looked into your eyes. “just tell me what i have to do to make you happy… tell me what the fuck i need to do in order to make you love me, y/n?” he said as he unintentionally tightened his grip on your hips, feeling frustrated.

as strange as it may sound, you rarely ever heard him swear, so it you found it a little hot when you heard him say ‘fuck’ and hold your hips so mean. you felt a little tickle in your stomach as you bit your lip. you were so used to your boyfriend being so gentle with you and being afraid to hurt you, but right now all you wanted was him to take out his hurt and stress onto you and manhandle you. “can you.. b-be a little rougher? i can take it.. just don’t be gentle” you said softly as you felt your cheeks heat up, “i’ll use the safeword if i want you to stop”.

chan was taken a little aback by what you had asked of him. he was certainly surprised, but lord knows he’d do absolutely anything to make you happy and to love him, so he did just as you asked. he picked up the pace of his movements and began pounding in and out of you at an almost animalistic rate whilst you wore his hand around your neck like the prettiest choker you’d ever worn. “do you like being treated like a filthy whore, baby? is that all it takes for you?” he snarled at you as he forced your mouth open and spit into it. he grinned widely when he seen your eyes light up.

you couldn’t contain yourself, you were tugging at his wavy locks and screaming so loud for him, he’d never made you feel this good before- no one had. “d-don’t stop… please, daddy” you begged him desperately, the nickname you referred to him as only encouraged him to go harder, “feels so good”. not too long after, you both finally finished and rode out your highs. shit, you were seeing stars and could barely think straight. but one thing was for sure, not being treated like you were something fragile for once made you feel something, for sure. who knew all it took was for your boyfriend to treat you like a whore every now and then? <3333

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★ 🔮 ☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

i hope you enjoyed that, i apologize if that wasn’t you had in mind! i hope you guys liked it hehe<333

if you don’t like my content you can either keep scrolling or just block me, no need to send negativity ♡

[mvniro]

 . . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 PLEASE STRIP ME! ; a fyodor dostoyevsky fic. ❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . till date this fic remains one of my favs. fyodor is so hot ugh.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; sugar daddy!fyodor, sugar baby!reader, fem!reader nsfw, angst in the beginning, confessions, hurt to comfort ig, riding, nipple pinching and sucking, fyodor refers to himself as "daddy", uses of term "dumb doll", fyodor is hot, and that's all ig.

the twilight sky outside analyzed the situation and told the stars about it who twinkled in amusement, all of them finding pleasure in your misery, like the man you gave your heart to.

you glance at the clock on the wall and then huff, turning away from its direction as if the clock was the one behind your emotional state, as if it were the clock who played with your heartstrings as if your heart was an instrument.

it's nearly one in the night and you are still sitting on the luxurious bed with your back against the headboard, reminiscing about the first time you sat on this very bed and felt the same feeling of being an outcast, as if you are a foreign to this luxury -- which you are.

your hands gripped your silk night gown which reached till your midthighs, a very revealing and loose one at that. you bit your lip to produce pain which had the ability to divert your attention away from the aching in your heart.

alas, it worked but in ways you didn't expect. for the physical pain of harshly biting down on your bottom lip was the cheery on top needed by your brain to stimulate a signal which made the dams in your eyes open up, moistoning your eyes and blurring your vision.

at the same moment, the man behind this reaction tried to slowly open the door without making any noise but once he saw the lamp lights on beside the nightstand near the bed, he raised his eyebrows.

fyodor didn't expect you to be awake at this hour and he made sure you knew about this by the way he continued to look at you even while closing the door and walking towards you.

a heart heavier then your brain which is littered with opposing thoughts, you sit straight and look at fyodor, taking a deep breath for the oxygen will be knocked out of you very soon by your own heart.

"what is wrong? can't sleep? is the dress not to your liking?" voiced the man whose cold voice could put even snowy lands to shame, a man who held too much interest in his eyes but too little in his tone for fyodor dostoyevsky is an enigma. even to you who had been with him for more than a year now.

you do not answer, no, you can not. your eyes frantically scan over his features, those soft lips which you can kiss only in your dreams, that pale skin which makes you wonder just how good would it look with love bites, the sharp jaw you want to cup and kiss and lastly, those damned  eyes.

the rich dark purple which shines brightly despite those tired looking eyes can captivate you, play you like a doll and you won't even realise for the one who admires the castle won't see the blood, sweat and tears of those who made it.

you gulp, your heart beat being the only sound you heard for a minute or two before you shook your head. ". . .i wanted . . . to talk to you."

why is your voice such a contrast to his? his confident voice puts your quiet and nervous one to shame.

fyodor hums, stepping towards his side of the bed as he lays down with a sigh and after mentally pushing yourself with the reminder that it's either now or never ; you swiftly move to be on top of fyodor, your knees planted on the soft mattress on either sides of his waist as you look down at him with sorrowful eyes.

"aren't i attractive to you? or am i not your type?" murmuring the harsh words which have been piercing your mind ever since you realised you fell for the very man who never kissed you, who made it clear that your presence was something he could buy and he did.

"generally having a sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship means a mutual benefit. sex or sexual favors in exchange of money. of course it varies with different people but . . . paying me only to have my company . . . don't you ever wish to have some more?" your voice -- is it doing justice to convey all your pent up emotions and feelings? you wonder.

now, fyodor is a man of rationality and cold logic but even he is a human.

how can you not see the way he is gulping thickly, able to outline and picture your cunt as the flimsy lingere nightgown is doing its purpose of letting his imagination run loose. the way you are leaning down to be closer to him caused one of the thin straps of the nightgown to fall off your shoulders and near your elbow, allowing fyodor a glimpse of just a small portion of your cleavage.

how can fyodor focus on your words when your lips look so pouty and eyes so moistened? lord, oh lord, you answered his prayers, didn't you?

oh dear lord, is this angel on top of him his to corrupt?

"tell me, why won't you touch me? let me fulfill my duty as a sugarbaby. let me satisfy you sometimes fyodor." you softly let out, staring at him and fyodor, oh fyodor, what are you doing?

why are you pulling on the angel's other strap and letting it fall down her elbow? do you not know your patience and self control is running thin?

you can't do it. you aren't fyodor to conceal your emotions and feelings deep within the chambers of your mind.

so you allow a sob to travel through your throat, allowing it the freedom to be freed and let fyodor hear it, you let him hear your misery.

"you always do this. these actions of yours make me feel as if you desire me too . . . only for you to shut me out by acting cold and distant again." your voice is strained, cracking even as your vocal chord is being choked by the nimble hands of sadness.

"am i some kind of a doll to you? who you can play with as much as you want?" your words don't seem to have any effect on the russian below you whose expressions haven't changed a bit.

it's always this cold and calm look of his which you hate but oh, how you love it too.

and fyodor noticed it. he always does. the way the corner of your eyes soften as your eyes go all doe like whenever you admire his features but he doesn't like how that softness is always shielded by a sheet of longing and sadness.

"if you were to tell me to dance on fire for you, i would gladly become one with the fire for its not the fire which burns me but your coldness, fyodor." you confess, biting your bottom lip in a fragile attempt to stop or hide their quivering but this action of your's, the furrowed eyebrows and the slightly red eyes of your's makes you look all the more appealing to fyodor.

"have i done something to make you feel like so? don't cry. didn't i tell you? your presence brings me joy, your opinions and perspectives are intresting enough for me to spend enough to have you by my side. why? are you not satisfied? do you want more? tell me what you want and it's your's, you know there is no limit to what i've to offer to you." the cold and calm tone accompanied with the russain accent is a voice you hear daily yet still can't get enough of.

you shake your head. no, he can't offer you what you desire.

"i don't want your wealth anymore. i want your love and that's the only thing you can't offer." you weakly mutter and close your eyes, waterfalls of heartbreak wetting your cheeks for even you know that your desire is a painful lie you live in and hope to achieve.

fyodor feels the tightening of his pants and the slight hardening of his cock at your soft sniffles, god, how vile is he to get turned on by your sniffles of sorrow?

"sweet doll, do you think my affection for you is fake? . . . is that what you think? are you getting bored of me? do you want to leave?" fyodor asks, his voice a bit sad, looking at you whose eyes are still closed and hearing his words make you cry even more as you now don't feel shy or hide your sobs, letting them out in the open for fyodor to hear for maybe then, he could understand your feelings.

these simple words are not your breaking point. the sadness lingering in his tone is. the subtle frown which you are sure is adorning his mouth is. those affectionate touches and him being more touchy with you since the past two months only to distance himself from you before things could escalate further is.

the way his hands immediately cling onto your hips as they squeeze your hips tightly but in a comforting manner is.

"i love you! i love you! why are you so smart yet stupid to realise this!? i don't want to be a dumb sugar baby who is happy with a little bit of attention! that won't work for me! i need all of your attention, all of you! fyodor i need you! i need your love, i want your love!" you sob loudly and oh, oh.

not only did you reach your breaking point tonight, fyodor did too.

his grip on your hips tightened and his eyes went a bit dark, more sharper.

"stop testing my patience dumb doll." was a sentence which was enough to make you straighten up and behave yourself, but not tonight. oh definitely not tonight.

tonight you will pour your heart out to him and wait for his judgment.

"i try so hard to make you notice me, to seduce you yet none of them work . . . am I that unattractive? or are you in love with someone else? are you even capable of loving fyodor? capable of loving me?" you stare down at him, eyes sad and lips parted to let quick and short breaths escape along with occasional sobs.

the tears stopped coming long ago as the anguish converted into a cold calmness of sadness and the ones which flowed down your cheek began to dry up but left their trail there for fyodor to see.

this was it. the final push fyodor needed for him to pour out his feelings, his emotions and his pent up desires.

fyodor scoffs in amusement and only tightens his grip on your hips more, enough to leave a bruise and tight enough to immobilize you.

"dumb doll, how can you say all that when you don't even know the thoughts in my head everytime i see you? do you know what i think everytime i make you wear these sexy nightgowns?" fyodor's voice is low and seductive yet it has that soft edge to it and you purse your lips in embarrassment as you feel the wet pool in your core and you know fyodor felt it too or he wouldn't have smirked the way he did, so arrogantly yet arrogance looks good on him, sexy if you may add.

hands of temptation belongs to fyodor as he lets his hands run up and down your curves.

"not treat you like a doll? nonsense. you are my doll, how can i not treat you like one? so fragile and magnificent, all for me." the last part wasn't a hope or wish but a statement. fyodor wasn't asking you to be his, he already made you his when he first paid you for spending time with him.

"do you even know what i think every time i look at you, especially when you look so preety when you are sad?" the smooth voice holding onto the calm and collected tone which made it clear to the receiver that fyodor isn't just any human but a part of the rare percentage who are unbelievably majestic, lured you in, you wondered often if he is a siren.

you shook your head as a no, sniffling occasionally as fyodor's hand went lower towards the hem of your nightgown, he played with it as he said,

"i wish," he muttered, looking at your lips before he looked up at your eyes again, lifting the hem of your nightgown.

"to strip you of your clothes and feel your body . . . with your soft, smooth skin . . ."

you part your lips as you let out a soft gasp, feeling fyodor's cold fingers trail the flesh of your ass before he gripped one of your buttocks and he squeezed it roughtly between his cold fingers as if to show you how your last claim of heartbreak angered him.

hearing your gasp, fyodor smiles seductively, and eyes you, admiring the cut of the dress which was loose enough to give him a glimpse of your cleavage, the way your hair fell all over your face and the way you were basically straddling him which resulted in your nightgown to ride up.

"you say all this but your actions proved otherwise" you furrow your eyebrows as you mutter and the man beneath you just continues to eye you in a more intense, vulgar way.

“to touch you . . . in the most intimate places, but how can i? you know i am a man whose morals and beliefs shape him. so how can i think about you in such a way which contrasts my beliefs?” did he ask you? you weren't sure, your focus was on his hand which went towards your hip and grabbed it.

you part your lips, letting out a shaky breath as fyodor's fingers dig into your skin to grip it while his thumb applies slight pleasure to your hip, it feels as if he is trying to memorize the way your skin feels against him.

“how can i ignore my desires any longer? my desires to kiss you . . .” fyodor's eyes move up and down your body in a perfect coordination with his hands which grab your shoulders, kneading onto them as he then trails his hands down your arms and towards your wrists.

not only is your breath a bit frantic but so is his.

angel, oh angel, is this not enough for you to open your eyes and let go of that foreskaen purity?

oh let the drug who is injected into your veins, begin it works.

you took the drug yourself. the drug named fyodor dostoyevsky.

“and to taste your sweetness.” fyodor tugs on your wrist making you lean near him more.

"my beliefs and morals are what shaped me but you are what makes me feel human. my desires towards you knows no limit so don't ever try to question my emotions and feelings towards you. or i'll make another use of that preety mouth of your's." he whispers that last sentence.

broken. the thread of fyodor's self resistance and control broke.

fyodor pushes your head towards him, pressing his lips against your's as he begins to kiss you, he had always known his feelings would be reciprocated but it sure did feel good to have your lips move against his.

dancing in sin, the music is provided by the short and hot breaths you two share, you could feel your core throb as you placed one of your hands on the bed to stabilize yourself and the other on fyodor's cheek, caressing the skin you dreamt of littering in your marks and kisses.

like a snake, fyodor's hands slithered towards your back to push it to have you more closer towards him.

after a long while, you pull back to catch your breath, looking at fyodor as you parted your lips to speak but how can he just hear words leaving those wet and slightly swollen lips?

oh no. absolutely not.

fyodor pushed himself up slightly to capture your lips in a heated kiss again, elbow propped against the bed while with the other hand, he brushed your hair to the side.

you closed your eyes just like the russain beneath you, trying to appreciate every single movement made by his lips, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip before it entered your mouth and his occasional biting down on your bottom lip.

when he pulls back again to let both of you recover from the lack of oxygen, fyodor chuckles breathlessly.

"fuck it." he mutters a curse before changing your positions, making you lay on your back as his lips cling onto your's yours in a desperate manner, clinging onto you like how a water droplet clings onto the edge of a leaf, wet sounds produced due to the kisses shared between you two were the epitome of just how sinful the night will get from here on.

fyodor is desperate.

more.

more and more.

oh lord, he knew once he started, he won't be able to stop and look, now he is tainting this angel of your's.

what will you do now when he is not letting the angel breath, continuously kissing her, one after the another -- you will do nothing, whatever needs to be done will be decided by the god under whose mercy the angel's heart is.

your heart beating is frantic but not more then the arousal which is aggressively coursing through your veins, you try to clench your legs to stop the slick from dripping on your panties but fyodor's hand on your inner thigh had forced you to keep your leg open.

fyodor leaned down to plant soft kisses on your lips, chin and jaw, trailing the wet kisses as to crave a path of his love.

"i will only ask once for my patience is thin right now, so tell me, sweet doll, tell me if you want this," fyodor leans up to capture your lips in a quick kiss again, "because once i have my way, i'll never let you leave me."  he whispers, eyes trailing up to stare at your face and can you really say no to those purple eyes which were hypnotic enough to make your breathing stop midway.

"you are sounding like a big talker right now--" your words were cut short by the gasp which left your lips when fyodor's hand which was on your inner thigh had trailed up to press his thumb against your wet core.

"big talker? i'll show you that i don't speak empty words, dumb doll." fyodor smirks, the silence of the night didn't find it offending how his voice cut through the calm and hot atmosphere and rather they found it just as soothing as you, the russian could almost be passed as a god with the way the moonlight falling from the opened windows reflected his pale skin and dark irises, and oh, you closed your eyes as you exhaled shakily.

"please . . . please strip me. fuck me. i made myself clear too, no? i want you, your touch, your lips all over me. hah . . . you are no saint, you are the devil. stop fucking with these morals and just fuck me fyodor!" you beg, voice proving your desperation and neediness to have the russian all over you, to make your dreams which you hide in the darkest depths of your heart a reality.

fyodor began to rub his thumb over your wet core, rubbing against the sensitive bud with nothing but your panties to restrict the pleasure he created.

and is he really the god of your heart if he doesn't listen to your prayers?

"then let me show you just how much i desire you and once i am done, you'll be chanting my name like a prayer and when i repeat this all tomorrow? oh doll," fyodor coos the last part, biting his lip as he chuckled, "my dolly, my sweet sweet dolly, you won't even know if you are on earth or in heaven."

fyodor didn't hear your reply, immediately moving down to bite on your collarbone which he was only ever able to brush his fingers against for the past few months when he realised that maybe he wants to keep you by his side for as long as he can and could for fyodor doesn't think he has feelings for you as strong as to call them love.

fyodor sucked on your collarbone, licking it after before he looked up at you again, overcoming by the sudden urge to look at your face and the sight of your parted lips and barely opened eyes upon receiving such a small portion of pleasure made you look pure in fyodor's eyes, not to mention the moonlight falling on half of your body had only made you look more ethereal.

the nightgown straps barely on your elbows anymore as they revealed the upper portion of your cleavage and fyodor immediately knew that he had to free you from the fabric which is an obstacle for his hands from exploring your curves and body.

fyodor leans up on his arm, using the other to hook his index finger on your strap, pulling it down your arm, you raised your arm to help him slip the strap out with ease and once fyodor slipped both the straps off, he ripped the nightgown apart with his hand, immediately clinging his lips onto your naked breasts.

it started off as a single lick against your nipple before he went back to swirl his tongue against it, flickering it with his tongue.

then the sensation increased as his fingers trailed up your thighs and slipped into the nightgown, continuing their path up your other breast as he grazed the nipple with his nail before flickering it with his finger.

soon his index and middle finger squeezed the nipple between them, pulling on it as it made you hiss and fyodor smirked against your breast.

fyodor found pleasure in hearing your short breaths and gasps of pleasure and he would've loved to go and tease you for hours, manipulating you into thinking he is finally giving in to touch you, only for him to prove you wrong . . . only if it weren't for his painfully hard boner.

fyodor clicked his tongue before he grabbed your hips with both of his hands and rolled over with you on top of him once again as he looked up at you with that devilish smirk on his face, minute sweatbeads were beginning to form on his forehead and if you squint enough, you could see him gulping.

"be my good doll and ride me and tell me all your complaints. sweet doll, i will listen to every complain of your's today" fyodor tells you, hands slowly removing your panties as you lift yourself up to help him, he throws it away, not bothering to remove his sweatpants or anything as he immediately guides you to sit on his crotch, moving your hips to create some friction to ease his painfully hard erection, silently gasping as you slick wets his fabric.

fyodor smirks as his eyes remain closed, teasing you, "go on sweet doll, begin complaining to your daddy."

and when you nod, your head tilted back as you close your eyes and begin to move back and forth on his clothed boner, fyodor's eyes couldn't tear away from you ; your nightgown which was now rolled down and ripped to reveal your clevage, the slight pink mark appearing on your collar bone and your hair which fell infront of your face -- fyodor sucked in a breath.

his cold hands came to restrict your hips as he tapped once, you got the signal and you lifted yourself up slightly and watch fyodor skillfully remove his sweatpants and briefs with one hand, stroking his hardened and aggressive cock a few times before he rubbed the tip against your folds to get your slick on the tip, rubbing the length against your inner thighs which had slick dripping down.

"sit." he commanded a bit too softly to match the fire of lust blazing in his purple irises and if you paid enough attention to look past the pleasure and pain of sinking down on his cock, you could've seen the way his irises were dilated and reflected your image in them then you could've understood how deeply and intensely fyodor always stares at you.

a pained whimper left your lips as you settle down on his cock, feeling it strech your walls for the very first time. your fingers can't even fathom the sensation of his cock and now that you finally have it inside you, you know no one else, not even your own fingers or the finest toys out there, could satisfy you the way he is going to for the reason is simple, the same way the heart has no use if there is no blood left for it to pump, there is no libido in you if there is no fyodor.

for the sight of the man makes your brain fall into the lap of arousal and submit yourself to it, to fyodor.

"i am your doll? then why don't you cherish me and love me? why do you act as if we are just two partners in a deal? i am not one of your business partners, don't treat me professionally like you treat them" you grit your teeth, trying to get used to the pain.

you move up when you feel the pain become a bit bearable, going down on his cock as a choked breath leaves you and fyodor's eyes widen ; you move up and down his cock again, biting your lip in pain but the face you make as you are in pain yet try to give pleasure to him -- oh what a sight.

"you claim to love me? dumb man --" you let out a gasp, feeling your pussy clench around his cock as he sucked in a breath, "you are so smart yet how can you be so oblivious that your coldness makes me think you don't even like me?"

and suddenly, fyodor is hyper aware of his surroundings of how the bedsheet moves with your movements, the wet squelch as his cock enters and leaves your hole and your and his grunts and pants filling the entire room.

the hair falling on your face sticked to your forehead as you begin to move more on his cock.

fyodor parts his lips, your furrowed eyebrows relaxes as you let out a breath of relief, feeling the pain slowly turning into pleasure and fyodor did not stop himself or try to fool himself into believing he is superior when he leaned forwards, elbow propping against the bed as he brought his other hand towards your face and gently tucked the hair strands sticking to your forehead away, staring at you with a fond smile and suddenly everything makes sense, the sudden urge to touch you since the past few months, to whisper into your ears and watch you get shy and to give you whatever you desire, it all makes sense to him now for no one understood human emotions better then fyodor but to feel them, that's a different thing and he finally did.

"touch me, kiss me, caress me and let me do the same to you, you don't know, no one else can compare to you, you've me wrapped around your preety fingers. and it angers me to think someone else will claim you as her's one day. it isn't fair! you are mine, you should be mine, i don't want anyone else to have you except me. you are the type i want to marr--"

"i love you, my dumb doll." fyodor intrupted you as he breaths out, hand coming down to gently squeeze your nape, the sudden desire he felt is something he won't deny anymore as he pushes your nape forwards to once again have your lips against his.

your eyes widened, you've known fyodor enough to know words of affections are foreign to him so to hear him speak the purest words of intimation?

oh how your heart surrendered to him once more, how it bowed to him and was ready to bend to his will.

"i. love. you." with each word he spoke against your lips, he thrusted his hips upwards and relished as you moaned.

"i. love. you." he once again emphasized to let you hear him loud and clear, sucking on your bottom lip before pulling back and grabbing your chin with his index finger and thumb.

"you hear me? are my words reaching your ears, my doll? i love you."  fyodor gritted his teeth, looking at your widened eyes and parted lips and how he resisted the urge to utterly ruin you and have you cry out his name as he saw how tears glistened and flowed down your cheeks.

"go on, confess the feelings you've always bottled up, my baby doll. and don't you dare stop no matter what, speak. tell your daddy how much you love him." fyodor commands, pinching your chin as he smiled seductively, pulling your chin closer to plant a small kiss on the corner of your lips, before he moved towards your lips to nibble on your upper lip.

fyodor pulled back and his purple eyes shined devilishly as he pulled on your nipple. "move your body and your lips, my doll. daddy is all your's. wanna wife you before the sun rises tomorrow yet i can't do that without knowing if you feel the same, can i? open that mouth and complain, after all, when have i ever denied you desires and wishes?"

━━━━━━━ 💋 end.

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

It's the parts of König that she didn't see

a/n: I worked on this special for quite some time and it's finally time to get a glimpse of what was going on in metalhead!könig's head during his time with reader... a little thank you to all the peeps who have kept up with the series and a little summary before we head into the last few chapters <3 (i added links to the chapters as well where the situations took place that i'm referring to)

(the usual CWs apply: age gap 25/41; MDNI, nsfw, lots of smut, fluff and a bit of angst)

the part before: saying goodbye

It's the parts of König that she didn't see. From the first moment on when they met.

How he was kneading his fingers before he just blurted out the comment, complimenting her on the shirt she was wearing, there in the bar.

The surprise when she approached him again, to talk. The thinly veiled flirty-ness on both sides that didn't quite register in his mind.

The little shock shooting through him when he realised that she was that much younger than him. His thoughts racing to find a way to gracefully navigate the situation while the sound of her cheery voice seeped into him.

Giving her his number when he offered to take her to a concert because she had nobody else to go with, thinking she would surely have forgotten about it by the next day.

The surprise on his face when she actually sent him a message in the morning.

The surprise growing when she didn't stop texting him, after she fixed the thing with going to the concert together. The pictures she sent him, just telling him about her day.

A little ding from his phone every now and then. The disappointment he tried to not feel when it was another email and not a message from her.

When he went to the drugstore before the concert, to pick up condoms, because the ones he still had at home weren't any good anymore.

It isn't even a date, we are just going to a concert. Because she didn't have anybody else to go with.

He felt himself going a little crazy over this. Cursing himself out because he was a 41 year old man anxious about buying condoms. Sure, not because of what other people might think while he purchased them. But overthinking what the younger woman he was going on a date with (that wasn't a date) might think.

Unsure if she would even consider him in that way. He didn't really trust his gut, the little voice in his head that reassured him that she was surely flirting with him over text. Better to be prepared, right?

The way his mind went blank when he saw her again, picking her up for the concert. She was really pretty in her outfit, but the thing that took his breath away was her disarming smile with which she beamed up at him.

She was tiny. In his mind she was tiny. A grown ass woman, sure, but compared to him everybody was small and dainty. And she seemed even more so.

And he saw that every time he looked at her. He always had to look down, but there she was. Cheery and yapping about her day. Looking up at him every so often, just having a normal conversation. And he couldn't fathom how that happened.

How his heart sank when he nudged her playfully while they were waiting in line at the bar. Which made her almost topple over. Fuck.

Her reassuring smile. "I don’t break that easily." The realisation on her face when she heard how that sounded. She was so easy to read, like an open book.

The one part of him wanted to find whoever tried to break her before. The other part wanted to break her himself. Just a little bit. See hot tears stream down her cheeks as she came on his dick. Make her scream for him. Feel her body writhing against his.

Verdammt. He shook his head, making those intrusive thoughts go away, but they kept pestering him.

When he put an arm around her shoulders, more reflex than anything really, shielding her off from the other people in the crowd bumping into her.

He almost pulled back, the nervous feeling of uncertainty licking up his spine, when he realised what he was doing. But then she leaned into him. Relief flooded him, his hand coming to lie on her hip.

Her shoulders didn't even reach his pecs, her head grazing over one of them, when she looked up at him. And for a moment, he felt like the unsure guy again that he once was. The huge grin on her face pushed that feeling away, the spark in her eyes, the excitement in her expression infecting him instantly.

"Thank you for taking me to the concert."

"You're so very welcome."

And he told himself right there and then that it didn't matter the slightest what came out of this. Seeing her get excited over being at the concert had already made it more than worth it tagging along. And he hadn’t been at one in so long, he had forgotten how fun it is.

He was willing his thoughts to stay platonic when he had her on his shoulders so she could see the band onstage better. Her skirt inevitably riding up, his fingers digging into her supple thighs to steady her and the warmth of her clothed pussy against the back of his neck. Trying to think about anything else but his head between her thighs and failing miserably.

When she very obviously tried to rile him up as he was taking her home afterwards, pulling out the "old man"-card again which clearly was a jab at his age. And he tried to ignore it. Trying to ignore the tension too that he felt, in case it was just him getting the wrong idea.

But then she dropped the b-word. Brat.

One banter led to another, and the banter led to her lips on his. Oh fuck, her soft moans. That he swallowed up with each kiss. She tasted so fucking good, the slight hint of beer that they both drank not able to drown out her taste.

Pulling her into him, her taking a seat in his lap. When she grinded down on him, no force in the world would have been able to conceal his erection, but he still tried to keep calm. To not lose his mind which was costing every ounce of restraint he could muster.

When she invited him up to his apartment, the innuendo clear, he had to double-check. “Are you sure you want this?”

That sweet "yes please" from her lips while she stared into his eyes and he couldn't find anything but want in them was finally enough to convince him that he wasn't dreaming.

Him not being able to stop grinning the whole day after dropping her off at work the next morning. Getting lost in the thoughts of her.

How her smaller body felt against his. Her soft thighs and tummy against his hard muscles. The way she shivered against his lips, coming down from her orgasm. Her taste in his mouth. He just wanted to go down on her again.

He also fit into her, perfectly. Sinking into her pussy, slowly, squeezing him tight. But he fit somehow.

His need to fuck her harder when he planned to do her slow and sweet. Her permission to not hold back, repeating how she won't break easily, dismantling his resolve.

Her moans when he pounded into her. His fucking name on her lips as he pressed her down into the mattress and she came again. He just wanted her to say it over and over as her eyes rolled back in pleasure.

Anticipating her messages all day long. Only a few of them. Trying not to feel the disappointment that was slowly sinking in.

He did what he always did when he couldn't drown out the voice in his head. Working out until his muscles hurt more than whatever was plaguing him. The dark screams from his headphones boomed in his ears while he upped the speed on the treadmill.

Still not able to forget how his name sounded on her lips. How her hands grabbed him. How her body...

He shook his head. No, he had to forget about that, or else he would go crazy.

Maybe it just had been a one-time thing for her?

Maybe she regrets it now? Maybe she thought about the age difference again and changed her mind? Which is fine, of course.

Maybe he did something wrong? Maybe he came on too strong still, despite making sure how she felt every step of the way. Asking if he could wake her up with his mouth. Something that made him curse himself out now.

He finally got the courage to text her about it. And she wanted to meet him, drive around in his car.

When he saw the look on her face as she waited for him on the curb in front of her apartment building. She wore her feelings on her sleeve and he could see the guilty conscience from a mile away. Which made him crack a joke, just to see her smile again.

“König Private Chauffeur inc. – at your service.” And it worked to make her laugh as she got in the passenger seat.

Her explanations how she has been held up with work made him feel better, at ease, although the little voice in his head still didn't shut up entirely. He even confessed that he hadn't been dating the last few years. Explaining his insecurities away, more to himself really, like it made any difference. This whole thing never had been about him, she had just been busy with work, all the doubts only had been in his head. Overthinking it all.

When she reassured him that she didn’t regret it and that it wasn’t anything he did. The blush on her face as she told him that she had indeed enjoyed it very much.

Oh, his ego almost couldn’t take it, and he knew he was getting cocky, unable to hide it, teasing her about it just a little bit. Needing to hear again how she couldn’t stop thinking about it either.

How she teased him in retaliation, her lips on his neck, her hand in his lap, so brazen. “Need you deep inside me.” His restraint snapping in an instant because the imagination alone drove him crazy.

The picture she sent him of her tits, earliest in the morning the next day. He probably never received a better Good Morning text.

Like he wasn't already awake, lying in bed, his morning wood straining against the boxer shorts, only made worse because first thing he thought about was how he fucked her on the backseat of his car. And he wasn’t planning to do anything about it, the thought alone making him feel dirty…

Yet he reciprocated her gesture and sent her a pic of his junk, safely tucked away in his boxers. Her naughty messages coaxing him to do something about his hard-on, he let her instructions guide him until he made a total mess. Sexting, something he never did before either.

He then took the chance to invite her to his place in the evening.

Which led to him taking the cover off the mirror on the ceiling in his bedroom. He often thought it was really unnecessary that he put that there. Not today though, with the prospect of fucking her on his bed.

He was standing on the mattress, polishing the reflective surface, making sure it's spotless. Grinning to himself thinking about her face when she sees it. Her face looking up at the mirrored image as he went down on her. Seeing what he got to see. Oh yeah, it had totally been worth it, just for that.

The way she looked standing there in his living room, in her casual comfy clothes. Stretching to get one of the books on the higher up shelves. Almost prompting him to help her, but he didn't. Because she surely would have asked. And he didn't wanna invade her space, even though she was traipsing around in his.

The incredulous look on her face as he unpacked the Asian take-out he ordered for them. When she realised that he actually considered her dietary preferences, which didn't make him feel good about it, but rather made him think. Who had made her feel like she wasn't a priority before?

Content with seeing her munch on a spring roll. Knowing that he fed her, even if he didn't cook it himself. The little pang of possessiveness spreading through his chest. Telling him that he was already too deep into it, but he didn't want it to stop either.

The way his heart jumped when she laughed at one of his stupid jokes. Which made him want to grin back at her. And make another joke, just to do it all again.

He didn't know when the last time was that he laughed that much.

Oh and the filthy nasty hard sex. His need to take her in every room in his house, on every possible surface there was. Starting at the bar in his party room, propped over the sturdy wooden furniture. In his bed, in the shower. On the counter in his kitchen. Then in his bed again.

After they spent the whole weekend together, he didn't want to have her leave, but he also knew it would've been ridiculous to have her stay, so she went home again.

When he called her because she couldn't sleep and he just needed to hear her voice. And he would have been content with that, but he could have never refused when she asked him to help her come. Guiding her through it with whispered instructions, her sweet sounds and choked moans spurring him on as well.

When he came over to her apartment, and she had cooked for him. And she showed him the games on her computer and he couldn’t stop teasing her while she was ingame. Getting her to be more open with him, to tell him what she liked, building a trust between them.

When he broke the bed fucking her the next moment and he asked her to stay at his place, the shame and guilty conscience of destroying her furniture with his thrusts (ugh) were driving his offer. Not thinking about other implications or what it would mean to have her stay with him.

For example, that she would see his reading glasses. That he totally wasn’t hiding from her. But she didn’t mind them at all, quite the contrary, if the way she dropped to her knees was any indication.

When he tied her to his bed then, he made her come over and over again. Wringing orgasms from her body, reading her every move, as she writhed, crying out. Her sounds getting muffled by the panties he stuffed between her lips, shutting her bratty mouth up in the best way. Worshipping her the way he knew how to while at the same time punishing her for mouthing off at him. When he finally sank into her, he loosened the cuffs, her pussy warm and tight around him, her thighs shaking, her frame shivering as she pulled him in. Her lips pressed to his, their chests up against each other, the skin sweaty, but he just needed her closer.

Pushing into her, he was so close already, then she looked up at him, that familiar expression on her face as her mouth dropped open. He was done for, even before that image and the feel of her underneath him burned into his mind.

And it didn’t help when she asked him if they could do it without a condom. His brain almost short-circuited, when he hadn’t allowed himself to be that close with anybody in quite some time, not dating somebody exclusively as they put it, and he entirely lost it as she sank down on his length. Her warmth and wetness around his dick was divine, and he just desperately tried not to burst with how she was squeezing him.

The soft look on her face, the way her breath caught in her throat… Fuck, she was too beautiful.

She weaseled her way into his life and he unintentionally welcomed her with open arms, because he didn't have any defenses against her bubbly nature and her genuine smile. Like a bright beam of sunshine that was tickling his nose. Getting closer and closer until it felt unnatural to not have her by his side.

And he still couldn't believe that she just saw him.

She didn't say anything. But he could tell that she knew. Ever since they talked about his work, well, he talked mostly and she listened. Soaked in the little bits and pieces about him that he dropped while talking. She just saw him, without even knowing his real name.

He kind of was waiting for her to pack up and leave, but she didn't. She didn't run away when he had bad days. The ones with the night terrors too. They were few and far between while being with her, and most days he even managed to get out of his slump, so she probably didn't notice.

Except for that one time, when he snapped at her, though he didn’t even mean too, mad at himself, not at her, and he saw the expression on her face fall before she practically fled the room. On those days it was hard for him not to hate himself.

Running after her, apologising. And when her arms closed around his waist, her head rested on his chest, and she told him everything was okay, he could almost believe it.

She fell asleep on him, after they fucked. Her eyebrows were turned up, his face turned in his direction like she was looking at him, but her lids were closed, her breath steady, just the tiniest of snores dropping from her lips.

His hands pushing her hair back, his fingers caressing her cheek, so soft. She was so soft and warm against him. So alive.

That thought flipped the switch in him.

The cold feeling of dread gripped him from beneath, like icy flames licking up his body as the familiar sensation set in. He tried to breathe through it, not to wake her up. Softly caressing down her back. Pulling her a little closer against his chest, suppressing a shiver.

He thought, he could do it. Maybe he would be strong enough this time, to not go down that spiral. But the thought of leaving somebody behind still scared him too much.

Fuck, that's why he stopped. Stopped building connections to people. It had been a conscious decision, and an easy one at that. Not relying on anybody else, and more importantly, not having anybody rely on him.

What could he give her anyway? Other than a few orgasms.

She made the house feel lively, although it was a little messier. Leaving her things in his space. Bringing her kitty with her, the rascal turning everything inside out.

Sitting beside him on the couch. And it still felt like his space.

She managed to drag him outside, not just for walks in the greenery. She made feel him lively too.

This much younger woman. Warm, soft and tiny against his chest. Who fit so perfectly against him, like a puzzle piece. Who looked like she was smiling, even in her sleep. So alive.

He shouldn't have let it come this far. He has to leave either way, going on the next mission, and he can't have her waiting for him. It wouldn't be fair to her. She shouldn’t wait for him, and she shouldn't grief if he didn't return.

It hasn't even been a month, it will be okay.

She's gonna be okay. In the long run, she's gonna be okay. Maybe find somebody who was better suited for her. Younger. With less baggage. Somebody who was easier to love. Who deserved her.

So, he needed to say goodbye, even if it will make him miserable.

Hearing her cry through the door after he ended things made him wanna burst through it, for a moment at least. A pang of regret cutting through the resolve he had built, but he still left.

Driving home in silence, not daring to listen to music. The playlist she put together of their favourite songs still opened on his phone, and he closed the app instead of pressing play.

The silence was eerie, feeling almost suffocating when he sat in his living room. The room where they spent so much time. His mind wasn’t able to focus on the book he tried to read, his thoughts always coming back to her. In her apartment. With her new bed.

He sighed and went upstairs to his bedroom, getting his clothes off, when the hair tie she lent him fell out of his pocket. He picked it up and just looked at the little thing.

Fuck. I'm such an asshole.

With a groan, he laid down, trying to find some sleep, the thing that lulled him in being her scent that still lingered on the sheets. He should have changed them, was the last thing on his mind before he fell asleep.

So, he went on the mission. Like he had always done. Gone for weeks and months at a time.

Yet this time he took something from home with himself. Because everything reminded him of her... His favourite songs intertwined with the memory of her singing or humming along when they listened to them.

Remembering that she used his shampoo for a while, how his scent would be all over her, but still sweeter, more herself. He sighed and washed his hair, damning the shampoo and himself. Putting it in a ponytail, with the hair tie she gave him.

Smoking a cigarette. A bad habit that he had under wraps most of the time but couldn't shake when he was on duty. Remembering the one cigarette they shared, in front of the bar where they first met.

More than once he caught himself looking at a picture of her on his phone. At pictures of them together. And their similarities became as obvious as the differences he had used to convince himself.

His mind revolved around her whenever he had a moment to himself. Wondering how she was doing. If she thought of him as well. Probably not.

He thought it would have been a distraction to know that she would be waiting for him at home. That the responsibility of staying alive would have been too much.

Seeing the relieve on his family's faces every time he returned broke his heart. He didn't die, this time. Not returning anymore after his grandma died and barely having anybody to care for him in his new surroundings freed him from that.

And she would have brought that back. Or at least so he thought. Knowing that there wouldn't be anybody waiting at home, it made him more reckless. It didn't matter anyway if he lived or died. And while that thought soothed him before, it made him all the more anxious and bitter now.

When a grenade exploded just a little too close to him, it threw him back against a wall and his senses blurred for a moment. The dizzy darkness in front of his eyes vanished and the ringing in his ears turned into her laughter, and he knew that he was fucked.

One evening, after one too many glasses he finally confided in someone. Horangi just laughed and patted his back. "You're in love, my friend.", he simply said. The younger man who had an eye for what's going on always told him plainly how he sees it.

"I guess I am. And I fucked it up." Telling Horangi about how he broke up with her, and he just shook his head.

"Of course. You always find a way to destroy things most efficiently.", he said, not an ounce of judgment in his voice.

König scoffed, taking another drink. "Thanks, just what I needed to hear."

Horangi pulled up an eyebrow, the look on his face alone calling him out on his shit.

"Yeah, yeah, don't look at me like that.", König grumbled. He finished his drink, getting up to finally head to bed.

Horangi's hand held him back.

"You want her back?"

"I don't think she will take me back."

"That's not what I was asking, dipshit."

König sighed. "I want her back.", he said, the thought sobering him a little.

"Then you at least gotta try."

Another pat on the back and König makes his way to his room. Only one thought on his mind.

I gotta at least try.

for the sake of completeness: the Masterlist

also sorry it took me so long to update, i finally finished my degree which took more brainpower and time than anticipated :') i hope you understand <3 thanks for reading and tune in soon for the return of the king - i will try to update within the week <3

[rilakeila]

heavy hearts and hidden truths, where draco breaks up with you to protect you

word count 4.2k fandom harry potter pairing hbp!draco malfoy x fem!reader warnings death eaters, mentions of bullying and pranking author's note i didn't give yall the sad ending :,P

request its where the reader is also a slytherin and friends with slytherin boys and pansy and daphne (absolute dream team)... Reader is specifically close with theodore... time goes by draco gets jealous and tries to hide it..partnered up for a potions homework with potter/cedric/etc..draco finally has enough. reader and her partner grew close working as project partners... makes draco jealous... and realize his feelings about her. reader becomes a little distant... but draco never talks about his feelings. so one day when the reader was on her way to work for the school project with her partner draco gets enough and confesses his feelings. request Hellooo! Can I request an imagine with draco malfoy where reader is also a slytherin& pure blood and used to date draco but he breaks up with the reader to protect her but they still love each other so much that draco is still jealous of her hanging with other boys and eventually draco and reader get back together? i combine a lot of requests bc it makes it interesting

LONGING, the emotion that consumed you as you returned to hogwarts after a lonesome summer. draco malfoy had been distant, almost aloof, from the very beginning of the break, and it left an ache in your chest. it was not that you hadn't expected some separation after spending nearly every waking moment together during the school year. but the way he seemed to be purposely keeping his distance, making minimal effort, it stung. It was a far cry from the closeness you had once shared. though, that was until the last two weeks of the break where the entire group of your shared friends decided to have a day together prior to the school year. that was the night that he decided to break it off, only to keep it a secret from everyone else. all you done was nod, after growing tired of waiting and just the sense of knowing.

there was a tense atmosphere during the train ride to hogwarts, lorenzo was initiating most of the conversations, just as he always does. you only responded, when necessary, even if there was an elephant in the room. your cheeriness that typically kept up with him was struggling to reach, which the only person who truly did know about the cause of your quietness was theodore. he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the breakup had happened, but you believed it was the right time, as there would have been a struggle for yourself in confiding with someone else. theodore had been your best friend for quite some time since your first year, longer than you knowing draco. theo was the reason as to why you had a relationship with the blonde, anyways.

“why’s everyone’s knackers in a twist?” lorenzo plopped once more into his seat.

“hogwart’s a pathetic excuse for a school, rather pitch myself off the astronomy tower than keep going there for the next two years,” draco said, more so insinuating on something. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” pansy questioned, “weren’t you just saying a couple weeks ago that you were ready for potions?”

“to make a poison so that i don’t have to go here anymore,” draco said, though, a sudden black smoke misted the slytherin carriage, making everything barely visible.  

everyone peered around, not knowing what was happening. draco was the one who stood up to look around, obviously on edge about something.

“it’s probably those no good second years,” blaise completely unbothered.

“okay, draco, stop spoiling the fun, come on, (y/n), get your boyfriend in the right mindset,” lorenzo nudged you after returning to his seat when scouting around for any students.

“sure, it’ll be fun this year,” you tried your best to cheer him up, but there was no getting past his barriers. 

“for most of us,” theodore eyed draco. he was always rather perceptive and always knew something that no one else did. draco just looked away from theodore to view the scenery passing by. 

lorenzo quit trying to liven the atmoshphere, opting to fall asleep after fighting the urge to continue getting everyone in the same energy. blaise and pansy moved tables with crabbe and goyle, after pansy had stated it felt stuffy in the general area. you conversed with theo regarding about your upcoming classes especially since passing the difficult examinations of the OWLS. a rumor has it that snape moved to the cursed role of being the defense against dark arts professor. the slytherin privilege was no more, but snape still was a rather difficult professor.

the often-shared looks with draco were awkward, not knowing whether to talk to him or leave him be to cover up the lost relationship despite theodore knowing. draco was spacing out often, thinking about something else as his eyebrows would slightly scrunch as he twiddled his fingers. the remainder of the train ride was quiet, as the main atmosphere maker was out, exhausted from some event he had from the day before.

“come on, enzo, we’re here,” theodore nudged the sleeping boy, who was clinging his arm. 

“five minutes.”

“well, in five minutes, you’ll be on your way back to kings’ cross,” theodore managed to release his arm from the tight grip, collecting his own items. lorenzo grunted after falling on the bench which caused you to snort. the taller boy reached for your purse, “ready?”

you nodded, looking at draco who was just staring before looking around, knowing that he had sensed something. 

“you guys go on, i have to check on something,” draco was looking around once more. he was definitely on edge, but you were unsure what it was, similar to the anxiousness that he had worn during the break-up. though, you had heard from theodore that there was just some familial issues that he was going through according to mr. nott, his father. everyone just understood, leaving him, not before you gave him one last look. the only thing you had seen from the last of the carriage was that the blinds of every single window was shut.

walking to the thestral carriages, you could not help but turn your head back to the train, wondering what draco’s problems were. upon reaching the carriage, you watched theo pet the thestral, or what would be just nothingness, “is it just me or does draco look like he’s going absolutely mad?”

“maybe, but his dad is in azkaban, i wouldn’t be surprised if he is,” theo said as he helped you onto the carriage.

“whatever it is, he needs to get off his high horse and come back to the ground,” enzo yawned, crossing arms while leaning back on the carriage.

“well, we might be one less player this season,” theodore said, causing enzo to jolt up.

“what do you mean we’re one less player? you think malfoy is quitting?” enzo groaned, having to think about quidditch would have definitely stressed him out on the first day.

“why do you think he’s going to quit?” you questioned. theo only may have assumed as draco never failed to talk about quidditch during the train ride every year, but he always knew something, just as enzo was the news outlet of the group, seeming to have every side of secrets about everyone.

“just a thought.”

the first two days of settling back into school felt the same as it would in your previous years. though, your partner in attending class was replaced by theodore, which was how it was during your first four years of hogwarts until your relationship with draco. the entire group managed to enroll in the newt level of potions, perhaps mostly because of snape with his favoritism. though, now the professor was horace slughorn, someone you were familiar with as your parents had talked very highly of him when recounting their academic experience.

“before we get started on brewing potions, you’ll each be assigned to a partner this semester where you will be aiding each other. to endorse interhouse collaboration, mr. potter, you will be partnered up with ms. (l/n), mr. weasley, well, you’re an extra. i suppose you can replace ms. (ln)’s spot with ms. granger and mr. berkshire,” slughorn said.

you felt harry’s presence as he stood next to you, a small exchange of hellos were made. there was not any tension between you and harry unlike between him and the rest of your friends with the exception of enzo who was a little too kind, only to snag information from other people to build his portfolio. 

being dismissed by slughorn to your workstations, you noticed a slight hesitation from harry, perhaps from the recent events that had occurred and probably the lack of knowledge that you and draco had broken up. you glanced around the classroom to reach draco’s eyes which were fixated on you and harry before tearing away to focus on the task at hand.

as you reached your cauldron, you realized that harry may have some sort of vendetta that you were just as snobby as the rest of your friends, which was further from the truth. you were quite distant from the problems that they would cause as they were mostly all talk especially pansy. you cleared your throat, “can you read the ingredients i have to get from the cabinet for the draught of living death?”

“sure,” harry followed you into ingredients closet, reading out the list as you placed them on the tray. 

“alright, that should be all of them, thanks, harry,” you gave him a smile.

“i was quite nervous in partnering with you, felt like you were going to be like malfoy and the lot,” his head turned to the general area of where your friends were.

“yeah, i get that a lot. bullying people was never my cup of tea, neither were my parents to raise me like that,” you watched harry crush the sopophorus bean with the blade of his knife despite the instructions stating to cut it up.

“it gets finnicky with stabbing at it so try to crush it to release the juices into the pot.”

you nodded, seeing that it indeed worked much better. harry seemed to know what he was talking about while following the instructions, taking a stab at adding an extra bean instead of the regular 12, saying it was just a hunch and the color looked off. the potion brewing with harry was a delight, even making of seamus who blew up his own as he does in every class. finishing off the potion with the last touches, you and harry nodded at each other with a grin. 

“merlin’s beard, this is perfect. these excellent potion skills were surely passed down in the families,” slughorn had brought each of your finished potions to test them, which obviously passed with flying colors. he presented the vials of felix felicis, “make sure to use these well.”

you smiled, thanking slughorn, as the rest of class applauded for the both of you. scanning the crowd, lorenzo and theodore were the only ones clapping, the former with cheering you on being the loudest in the room while the other gave a set of five claps before halting. draco, on the other hand, had no expression except the slight jaw clenched. 

harry turned to you, “well, i am pleased to have you as a partner, thank you.”

“of course, well, you definitely did most of the work, really all of it, so, thank you,” you said as you both walked back to your workstation, cleaning up the area, “we should probably meet up or split the work for the potion ingredients and essay over everlasting elixirs.”

“sure, yeah. we can look later in the week, library?” harry questioned which you just nodded. bidding your goodbyes, you were bombarded by enzo once, while everyone else followed behind it was the group’s time to hang around in a random place.

“hanging out with the chosen one? how do you feel, draco?” enzo looked over at him.

“he’s pathetic, as always,” he stayed over in his place before walking off. along with his anxiousness, he was always in a rush to get somewhere, head spaced out.

as everyone watched him, enzo broke the silence, “okay, always the mood killer. does anyone want to go to the courtyard?”

“wait, did i miss something,” daphne had joined the group as she was the only one who did not advance into the newt level of potions.

“just draco being in a mood, he’s been like that for a couple of days,” enzo shrugged, leading the group which was typically draco’s.

daphne nudged you before linking arms, “do you know? i don’t think i’m ready for enzo to try to have a high level of energy.”

“i tried to talk to him, won’t budge,” you answered, “enzo would let us have fun.”

“well, break up with him if he won’t communicate,” daphne laid her head on your shoulder, which you chuckled even if it already happened. she always given you the advice to break off the relationship no matter how big or little the issue may have been. 

“maybe.”

ever since the partner match-up for potions, your friend group has started to rotate in harry, hermione, and ron, as they seemed to be always together. breaking down walls with ron was the hardest, seeing that he had a grudge against the rest of your friends. though, it was rather easy when ginny was getting along with you just fine as you would have to sit with harry during breakfast in order to work with your potions assignments. 

“are you ready for the quidditch season?” you questioned ginny as she initiated the topic, talking about the newest broom.

“of course, a good feeling this season actually, probably might win the cup for gryffindor. sorry to your house, (y/n),” ginny teasingly had said, knowing that you had little care for the sport. your eyes flickered up to slytherin table to see draco’s spot in the group empty next to yours, but you noticed everyone’s eyes watching in your direction, only to turn around quickly when you see them except theodore who shot you a small smile, which you returned.

“i wouldn’t doubt it, they’re gonna be out a seeker this season anyways,” you returned, completing your notes for herbology.

“it’s not like draco was any better than harry, no offense, (y/n),” ginny apologized yet again, which you just chuckled, loving that she was always ready to speak her mind. finishing the last bit of your notes, it was time to head to the library to finish another part of the everlasting exilirs with harry, “alright, ginny, i am off. i need to head off to the library, are we still on for baking later?”

“as long as you had permission from the hufflepuffs,” she waved you goodbye. as you exited the great hall, you were ambushed by daphne and lorenzo with a stalking theodore.

“a traitor, you are,” daphne released you once reaching a certain part of the hall.

before being able to respond, enzo continues, “you stopped hanging out with us.”

you looked at each of them, theodore seemed to be the only one who had little care as you had your late-night talks in the common room. you sighed, “it is nothing serious, there’s just a lot of things going on.”

“okay, but we don’t need to lose you to ultimate dark side like draco,” enzo said.

“what does that even supposed to mean?” you questioned, picking at his choice of words. enzo was the type of person to use a certain set of words to hint at something, yet, now you were unsure whether this was intentional. it doesn’t help when harry had asked you if you thought draco would turn into a death eater, just as the rest of his family. you were unsure, yet again, as you knew he did not have the heart to do so. harry also knew your parents were death eaters up until the fact Dumbledore revealed to him that they were double agents for the order. even then, the question did make the rest of that night rather awkward and tense.

“he just means that we don’t want you always disappearing during the day. have you noticed that he is always gone before slughorn dismisses us?” daphne leaned against the wall with crossed arms, “but, you wouldn’t notice since you’re always with potter and the rest of those muggle-lovers. are you guys even dating anymore, you’re never together. and, mind you, draco’s always at your beck and call, groveling at your feet. we noticed, (y/n), so you better start talking.”

“no, we didn’t break up,” you answered too quickly, feeling the weight of the eyes of daphne and lorenzo, mostly the former. you sighed, feeling the bubble pressured and ready to burst as they obviously had known, “yes, we did. truth to be told, the way draco has been acting, i really don’t know.”

“so, everyone here just does not know?” enzo questioned, “well, he’ll fest eventually. he’s quite fragile anyways.”

you hummed, “well, i have to go to the library, i’ll see you guys soon.”

walking away, theodore followed you, “i’’m headed there, so i’ll walk with you.”

you only nodded as your mind was occupied by what lorenzo had said. looking behind you just to make sure he was out of ear shot, you asked, “theo, do you think, i don’t know, draco turned like his parents?”

“is it because of what enzo had said? maybe, maybe not, but if he did, it’s only probably because his parents made him do it for his safety,” theo answered.

“so, what about you?” you questioned as his dad was supposedly some sort of loyalist to you-know-who based on what he had shared a couple nights ago.

“worry about me later, but draco, just give him some time. i know you’re sad in the inside, you’ve been avoiding us to escape the things at hand,” he said, pausing in front of the library doors before looking around. you nodded once more, seeing the rare opening of his arm, indicating he was welcoming a side hug. he only ever done so when your pet had died and failing a mock test for transfiguration after pulling several all-nighters. the immediate response of accepting the hug, allowed you to release a sigh that has been culminating since the breakup. 

“thank you,” you let loose from the hug. though, you were met with blue eyes across the hallway, only for him to storm off the other way. you only managed to catch specks of anger in the blankness of his face, only now adding that he was hurting due to something prior to the breakup. upon realizing about theo had said about giving him time, you asked, “do you know something about why draco’s been the way he has been?”

“no, just guesses and what if scenarios, but he just says for everyone to give him time. there were no specifics,” theo said, and you decided to not push for the answer, hopefully letting the truth set free.

since your conversation with theodore, there was an overdrive of thinking about every single word he had said. it was a known fact to you that he typically spoke in riddles or have underlining meaning to much of his phrases, especially if it is to help out certain people. you have seen him do it to third years, tricking them for some sort of prank, where it would mean one way or the other, knowing that they would pick the obvious. you have not spoken to theodore or for the rest of your slytherin group, opting to fill your time with busy work. 

going on your way to the library, you heard raised voices, granted as most students would be in class, only sixth or seventh years would be out on a free period. as learning from enzo that any raised voices in classrooms were sources of good news to share, even though you disagreed, there was a hunch sitting in the pit of your stomach that needed to be picked.

“mate, i’m bloody losing it,” followed with a rapid pace of footsteps.

“you need to calm down, your occlumency is going to shatter. you would endanger everyone especially her.”

what is going on? you knew exactly who those voices belonged to. draco was certainly in distress about something. what does theo even mean about endangering people.

there was a slam against a cabinet, “what do you know about calming down? you don’t think i saw you cozying up with her in front of the library. you don’t even do anything about pathetic potter.”

another thud was heard, “i wouldn’t have to if you would just tell her in the first place. she is endangered whether you like it or not. her parents are just like us, too. your relationship, her meeting your parents. our circle in itself endangers her. what about berkshire? forget who his mummy is? it’s your deranged aunt.”

they were death eaters. theo. draco. the hint that theodore was a death eater sat in him avoiding the question. it was right in front of you. 

“who cares? you don’t have the task that i do. her heart is gonna break when she finds out, she hates them. he’s going to kill her first then he’ll get to me. i need to do it”

draco was right, it did break your heart that he became one of them. even though you had everything you needed to know as to why he has been distant, but what was his task. before hearing anything more, you heard footsteps rounding the corner, jumping to fix your positioning to protect the two from anyone eavesdropping. you opened your journal, pretending to walk and read, only to see it was harry.

“you looked like you’ve seen headless nick for the first time. is everything alright?” he gestured to your face

your head was certainly in a frenzy after everything you have heard, starting to walk away from the classroom to avoid letting him hear what was happening, “yeah, everything is well, just reading for potions.”

he nodded, knowing he would not press on the issue. you made a point to ginny that he was those typical tall dumb jocks found in those american muggle movies. “would you like to come to quidditch practice, ginny keeps asking.”

hearing the door shut, seeing theodore and draco walk out, you quickly faced forward, practically dragging harry, “yeah, of course, i’ll lead the way.”

as you walked to the quidditch pitch with harry, replaying the conversation in your head made you slightly infuriated but there was a set of mixed emotions following through. he was reasonable with keeping the secret of becoming a death eater from you, but you trusted him just as he trusted you when it came to situations like these. you were angry, but there was a huge concern at whatever he has to do that had to be so dangerous.

lost in your thoughts, you barely noticed that harry had been talking about quidditch or dumbledore’s army, honestly you were unsure at whatever he was talking about. that was until he stopped walking with concern, which you didn’t notice until his voice faded away and that he was several meters back. you sighed, walking backwards to where he was.

“are you sure you’re okay? you seemed more distracted than staring at the lake when we’re doing the potions assignments with ron, hermione, and berkshire,” he said, pointing out your love for the body of water.

“yeah, i’m fine, just thinking about my herbology essay,” you lied, knowing that he would take the lie. you continued to walk to the pitch with him, not being able to shake off the conversation.

eavesdropping the talk was simply the greatest but worst idea you have ever had. the guilt of having that weight of knowing without their consent was painfully sitting on your shoulders. you barely talked to theodore, completely ignoring him. you barely even see draco anymore, choosing to keep your head down. several days had passed with your continuance of ignoring the both of them, even seeping into disregarding everyone else. you frequently were out of the slytherin common room until the night when everyone was sleeping, leaving in the early morning before people had awoken.

walking into the slytherin dormitory after a gryffindor-house party (only getting a pass to be there since you were an honorary house member dubbed by seamus), your footsteps as quiet as they could be against the tile floors. the fireplace lit, lighting up the person in front of it. head down in their hands, sitting on the armchairs. he looked up as he heard the taps of your shoes. his eyes lingered on you for a moment before looking away.

in that glance, you could tell he was worn out, and you knowing that he truly has the world on his shoulders. his blonde hair was disheveled instead of its neatly combed state, his tie loosened, and sleeves rolled up. you knew that he was losing his mind, as his foot rapidly tapped the floor, hands changing positions often, combing through his hair, resting on his neck, or rubbing them together. 

you inhaled, knowing that he was in dire need of comfort.

you exhaled, that was still the boy you loved.

“draco,” you softly said, not wanting to startle him.

instantly, he looked at you with pleading, exhausted eyes. you sat on the arm rest of the chair he was on, reaching out to run your fingers to comb through his hair. he leaned in, allowing you to touch him, and you carefully combed his hair back into place. your other hand found its way to his back, and he seemed to collapse into you. you pulled him into an embrace, feeling tears wetting your shirt as he sobbed, repeated murmurs of “i’m sorry” and “i love you.”

you held him close, letting him cry into your shoulder as you continued to stroke his hair and comfort him. You didn't need words to understand the pain and fear he was feeling, and you knew that sometimes, just being there for someone was enough. after a few minutes, his sobs subsided, and he pulled away from you, wiping his tears. He looked at you with gratitude in his eyes, and you gave him a small smile. It was a silent understanding that you were there for each other, through thick and thin.

“thank you.”

if you enjoyed, replies,

reblogs, and likes are

appreciated.

[dlscenarios]

All Too Well - Tooru Oikawa x Reader | Haikyuu

Is this inspired by All Too Well by Taylor Swift? Yes. Yes it is. That's my current favorite song.

In middle school, Tooru Oikawa realized his dream of being the best at volleyball. He refused to believe that anyone could be better than him. In high school, he wasted no time in joining the team and worked harder than anyone. Come his second year, he started feeling comfortable with his position.

That was the year he met you.

Something about Oikawa is that when he falls for someone, he falls hard. The first year of your relationship was filled with romantic dates, constant sleepovers, and lots of PDA. He'd make sure you would always have a front row seat to every one of his games, dedicating all of his serves to you. He treated you like royalty.

The start of his third year started off the same, except now Tooru was getting recognized by professionals since he was close to graduating. He had a promising future ahead of him and he had wanted to spend it with you. However, Karasuno, a rival school, had gotten stronger since Aoba Johsai last played them. Oikawa fell into a routine of ignoring your texts, opting to train until every muscle in his body was sore and Iwaizumi had to threaten him to go home. In lieu of sleep, he would analyze Karasuno's video tapes to see their usual strategies.

If you watched the team during practice, Oikawa rarely ever smiled. His voice remained as warm as ever, but his jovial expression was replaced with a terrifying glare. The Tooru you had fallen in love with seemed to have disappeared.

After practice, the two of you would walk home together. What once was a way for Oikawa to cheerfully ramble to you alone had become him speeding past you with a quiet scowl.

You jogged to catch up with him, "Tooru."

"Yeah?" He refused to look at you or slow down.

"What's wrong? You're not as cheery as you usually are."

He sighed, "Nothing's wrong. Just stressed."

"I'm worried about you though. You've been doing nothing but practicing for days on end. You should take a break."

Oikawa finally slowed down before replying, "I can't! This is our final time to go to nationals in high school. If I let Karasuno beat us..."

"It'll be okay if you don't go to nationals! I know it'll hurt but it wouldn't be the end of the world. You're gonna go pro. You're an amazing player even if you lose."

"It wouldn't be the same! This is the last time us third years will be on the same team together!"

"They're your friends, Tooru! I'm sure they'd be fine knowing everyone gave their all in the end. Karasuno's third years probably feel the same way as you! Losing does not mean you're weak."

"Yes it does! In middle school, I was overshadowed by a kid that's now a first year on Karasuno's team. He's younger and dumber but he still stole everything from me!"

"He's a kid, Tooru! He probably looks up to you-" Before you could finish, Oikawa rolled his eyes and walked up to his house, slamming the front door closed. You tore your defeated gaze away from his house to make your way into yours.

Oikawa refused to talk to you after that day. He continued his toxic routine up until the day of the match against Karasuno. He didn't notice that you were in the audience, in the front row along with other peers cheering the team on. You tried not to stare at Tooru the whole time but found yourself constantly drifting back to him.

You witnessed the team's demeanor deflate at Karasuno's win. You gripped the rails in the stands as you saw the boys begin to tear up one by one.

As Oikawa gathered his things from the locker room, Iwaizumi pat him on the back, saying that their loss wasn't the end of the world despite how much it stung in the moment. That's exactly what you had said too. After his friend walked away, Tooru's fist weakly pounded the locker he slumped in front of.

You were right, he had realized. You were right and he had blown you off like you weren't important to him. You cared about him and he ignored you, blinded by the thought of proving his talent.

"I'm sorry." He whispered before breaking down into sobs, no one left in the room to hear him.

[benedictscanvas]

Hi! Would I be able to request something for Steve rogers? I just had my period and had such excruciating cramps it made me think of this. Reader coming to Steve for comfort when the cramps are unbearable, him although a bit awkward comforting and helping as much as he can. Something in de lines of him getting a warm towel etc and reader calling out for him whereas he reply’s with I’m coming! And the other avengers hearing the interaction and thinking something else is going on ( if you’re comfortable with that!) awkward breakfast scene where they all tease them. Reader finding it very awkward and doesn’t go to him the next period because they think he doesn’t want to anymore. But him being super worried instead because he thinks reader hasn’t gotten their period yet and thinks something is wrong instead. Sorry for this being so all over the place! 🙈

don't apologise lovely, this is a great idea, especially as someone currently investigating whether or not i have endo, i feel you and i send you all the love in the world. we got this <3 || 2.2k words, tw periods, reader jokes about a hysterectomy, suggestive themes

"Steve? Are you asleep?"

It may have been a silly question. Steve went to bed at midnight sharp every night and had done ever since you'd known him, getting up at a sensible 7am to complete his early morning gym session in peace. As it was only 22:30, he was almost certainly awake and you were regretting ever coming to his door. You were hit with another wave of cramps, however, and clutched at your stomach in desperation.

Steve appeared in his doorway, as cheery as ever. His face fell when he saw you doubled over, and he reached for you when you looked up with pain etched onto your face. You felt yourself tear up at the simple comfort of his large hands at either side of your neck, thumbs holding your chin up to look at him.

"Oh sweetheart," he said soothingly, his tone a world away from when you'd heard him training some new recruits earlier, all yelling and harsh edges, "Are you sick?"

"Jus' my period," you said simply, feeling your eyes water under his gaze. You saw him stiffen a little and you cursed yourself - you hadn't even thought about his attitude towards this kind of thing, or the fact that being raised 100 years ago might affect his knowledge on the matter. You gulped and tried to pull away from his comforting hands, but he held firm, "Sorry, I don't know why I came here."

He seemed to snap himself out of his own discomfort as he witnessed your own, letting go of your neck only to wrap an arm around your waist and practically carry you over to his bed, where he sat you down.

"Hopefully cause you knew I'd want to take care of you," he said softly, kneeling in front you with a sheepish smile, "Not sure I know exactly how, but you can teach me."

"You don't have to," you said quickly, "I've grown up with men who were comfortable with this sort of thing and I didn't think. It's okay to be out of your depth with it if you weren't taught."

He grinned at you, funnily enough. Two warm hands landed on your knees and rubbed small circles into every bit of bare skin he could find, grateful that your hoodie stopped mid-thigh.

"You're sweet. I wasn't taught much, but I know that it's nothing to be embarrassed about and that it must really hurt, baby. I'd take it all away if I could."

"You'd pay for my hysterectomy?" you muttered, cracking a smile.

He chuckled, because he'd heard you say it before, jokingly, to Nat and had asked what it was. Nowadays he knew all threats to remove your uterus were in jest, but the first time he'd heard it he'd gone a little pale at the thought.

"And risk not having little versions of us running about the place someday?" he asked, half-joking himself. The children discussion would probably be one you'd have a little down the line, since you'd only been dating for a few months, but it was something you already joked about more often than you probably should have, "Not quite yet. Can I get you anything else?"

It was human nature to want to say no, but it would have been a lie. You and Steve didn't lie to each other.

"Actually, my hot water bottle? It's on my nightstand, I forgot it when I came to find you. It just goes in the microwave, a minute and a half, if you're sure you don't mind."

He shook his head, hands now travelling from your knees right up to the tops of your thighs and back down again. Nothing in the touch but warmth and a little bit of love maybe. You'd only exchanged 'I love you's last week, but you were already beginning to recognise all the ways in which he'd told you he loved you before he said it out loud.

"I'm on it. You want food too? Chocolate?"

You narrowed your eyes at him.

"Somebody's been reading," you said, and he looked a little guilty, even though it only made him sweeter.

"A little. Heard you mention to Wanda it was coming up, I wanted to be able to help you," he murmured, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to your temple as he got up to grab your things, "So glad you came to me, honey. Gonna take such good care of you."

"Y'always do," you said, tired and happy. There was fresh wave of pain rolling through your abdomen, sharp and stabbing, and you held onto it quietly as you smiled at Steve's retreating form. At his broad back, the muscles bunched and stretched out against one of his too-tight t-shirts. You loved those t-shirts almost as much as you loved him.

Maybe more than him, actually. There were really tight.

By the time he returned, you'd taken the initiative to curl yourself under his covers, feeling the telltale sweat on your forehead that told you the flow was getting heavier and the cramps were about to get worse. You told Steve as much through a grimace and he pouted his sympathy.

"Cuddles or space?"

It was one of your favourite phrases. The two of you said it to each other often, with both answers being totally acceptable and inoffensive to the other. It had been years since either of you had been in a proper relationship and with that came a penchant for independence neither of you wanted to shake. Some of your favourite days with Steve had been spent on opposite sides of the sofa, with only your feet on his lap for contact.

Right now, you needed a little more of him.

"Maybe just a hand on my stomach?" you asked, tentative in being too specific, "I think anything else might be a little smothering right now."

He nodded like he understood and you got the feeling he was really trying to. He crawled into bed beside you, placed his hand holding the hot water bottle against your stomach. You had to move his hand to the correct place, but you sighed in praise once he'd found it.

"Anything you need," he reassured once again, with another shorter kiss to your temple. You closed your eyes and focused on the feeling of his hand and of being so openly loved. Sometimes it was like a cramp of its own on your heart.

Then the cramps got worse and there was nothing distracting enough to take away from them.

Steve coaxed you through every wave. Told you how well you were doing, how horrible this was, how much he wished he could take on every bit of pain you'd ever felt and carry it around with him instead. It got a little dramatic at times, in fact, but in your state it was exactly what you needed and it seemed he knew that. He wasn't usually quite so affectionate with his words.

At one point, he simply had to get up for a toilet break, even though you could tell he'd been desperately trying to hold it. Another wave of pain hit just as he was washing his hands and you cried out despite yourself, the tears springing anew.

"I'm...ugh, coming!" there was a groan halfway through his sentiment that made you furrow your brow, but it turned out he'd stubbed his toe on the doorframe in his rush back to you. Despite your own pain, you'd managed a chaste kiss to his collarbone to soothe him and it seemed to do wonders.

When the pain finally subsided a little, it was around 2am and you'd royally messed with his nighttime routine.

"Sorry it's past your bedtime," you told him quietly when you were both finally trying to go to sleep. You could tell he was waiting for you before he allowed himself to succumb to sleep. You were both lying on your sides facing each other, just your pinkies locked together in your usual, minimal night-time embrace.

"S'okay sweet," he slurred, tired as could be. You tightened your pinky around his, "Wake me if you can't sleep."

You nodded, then let yourself drift off if only to ensure he got as much sleep as possible.

~~~

When you woke, it was just before nine in the morning and it took everything within you not to turn over and try to fall asleep again. You knew that breakfast was only served until around half nine around here though, at Tony's insistence, because "anything after that would be brunch, and we're not doing a daily brunch dipshits".

Steve was gone without a trace, although you were hoping he hadn't got up for his early workout without getting himself a little more sleep.

There was a trace of Steve, you found, as you swung your legs out of bed and prepared to stand. On the nightstand, he'd left pain medication, water and a freshly warm water bottle that told you he couldn't have been gone too long. One of his hoodies, soft and large enough to drop to your thighs had been left draped at the end of his bed, so you tugged it on over your pyjamas with a wry smile as you headed out.

The breakfast table was sparse - so many of these heroes having such early starts it made your head spin. But Tony was there, alongside Sam and Maria and, most importantly, Steve.

Silly-sweet Steve whose whole face lit up when he saw you traipse in. You made your way over to him with a greeting smile to the rest of the group.

"Tuckered out, Y/N?" Tony asked before Steve could even greet you with the soft morning murmur you loved. Sam instantly elbowed him in a way you couldn't explain and Steve was glaring at him too, his face starkly different to when you'd just walked in.

"Drop it, Tony."

Tony tuts. You hesitate to take the seat your hand was resting on, just in case.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, Cap, we're all human," he grins, then his face falls dramatically, "Unless...there is something to be embarrassed about? Scared Y/N might expose your poor...performance for us?"

"Steve, what is he talking about?"

This time it's Maria who cuts in before Steve can answer you.

"He's being a child. A few of us nearby heard some stuff from Steve's room last night and Stark cares more than he should. Probably because Pepper's cut him off again."

"Uh, excuse me, Hill-"

Tony was arguing back and forth with Maria rather vehemently, but you weren't really listening anymore. They thought they'd heard you and Steve having sex? It explained why Steve was staring daggers at the breakfast in front of him, but you couldn't think of anything that would've sounded like that.

"Steve!"

"I'm- ugh, coming!"

You had no idea how you hadn't heard the innuendo in it at the time. Your skin had gone up in flames. You picked up a plate and piled it high but you knew there was no way you could stay at this table and listen to Tony's teasing.

"I'm still not feeling great," you whispered to Steve, pressing a chaste kiss to the spot above his ear, "I'll see you later, honey."

"I'll come with you," he said easily, already beginning to get up but you pushed him back into his chair. The idea of adding fuel to the fire was too much for your slightly hormonal mind to deal with right now and you could even feel tell-tale tears behind your eyes. Fuck periods.

"No, you finish your breakfast," you smiled, even knowing it wouldn't meet your eyes, "Honestly, it's fine."

And you didn't give him a chance to argue, fighting to ignore the kicked puppy look he was sporting as you quickly walked out of the canteen. You could hear Sam telling Tony to look at what he'd done, but they were out of earshot soon enough.

~~~

The day had gone by painfully slowly and you were still in pain for most of it. The relief of the pain being a little better than the night before had soon worn off, and the residual pain was still enough for you to stay in bed most of the day and beat yourself up for it.

Even though you knew you were entitled, you'd had a text from Steve telling you he'd been called to some meeting a few blocks away, that he'd let you know when he was back. It had made you feel like you should be doing something too, but the next episode came on and you allowed yourself to sink back into the pillows.

You'd also spent the day beating yourself up for your reaction to everything that morning. You could blame it on your period or that you'd just woken up, but the truth was you'd just panicked that Steve might panic. He hated people talking about his sex life in that way, always had, and the idea of you making that worse for him had taken over you.

But Tony texted to say sorry and you apologised right back, which he scolded you for. You knew he hadn't meant any harm.

It was past 8pm by the time you got another text:

Finally back. Sorry it's been so long. Your place or mine? :)

You winced at the gorgeous message. He was an altogether gorgeous man, so why did the idea of talking about what had happened that morning fill you with dread? Steve had obviously trained himself to help you on your period but it wasn't something that came naturally to him. You worried that he might feel more uncomfortable about the whole thing now and nothing hurt more than making him uncomfortable.

Can we take a raincheck? Hope the meeting wasn't too awful x

He replied back so quickly you wondered if he'd just been sat there waiting for you.

Are you okay? It was definitely awful, but I'm in one piece at least.

Something felt icky in your chest and you thought about bounding up to his door like last night and leaping into his arms, but instead you locked your phone and turned over on your side as another wave of pain hit.

It had only been ten minutes when there was a knock on your door.

"Y/N? I know you said rain check and I swear I'll go away as soon as you let me know you're alright? Is it the pain again?"

Your heart ached even more than your stomach. His kindness knew no bounds and you loved him so wholeheartedly it felt like you might burst.

"Shit, I'm sorry Steve, come in, please."

The door clicked and edged open slowly, just a portion of his head sticking through it as he assessed the situation. When he saw you all swaddled in blankets he came closer, but only to sit at the end of your bed. You reached for his hand, gratified when he offered it readily.

"Y/N-"

"No, I'm really sorry Steve. For not replying and for not wanting to see you and for this morning, especially, and the teasing. I know you hate that sort of thing and I'm so sorry I put you in that position and then I just felt so bad about it I didn't want to see you. But I always want to see you. Always, baby, I'm sorry."

He blinked. You pressed your lips together into a thin line as you waited for him to respond to your rant. A slightly pathetic rant, in hindsight, but at least it was all said.

"Struggling to see what you're apologising for, sweetness," he said eventually, rubbing his thumb into your hand, steadying, "You're entitled to want an evening to yourself, anytime. You know that."

"I do," you said in earnest, "But we communicate better than I did tonight. And I was an ass this morning."

"Tony was an ass," he correctly firmly, "But I wasn't that embarrassed, baby. I've come a long way since I came out the ice all innocent. You should know that better than anyone."

His fingers fluttered at your wrist, a spark in his eye, and there was heat flooding through you for an entirely different reason now.

"You're right, of course. Can we maybe blame it on my period messing me up and get straight to the bit where you kiss me stupid?"

He chuckles at you and you pout when he doesn't follow it right up with a kiss.

"One last thing, it'll be quick, I promise," he said, pleading, "Please don't let anything getting in the way of you coming to me when you feel like this. Sitting in my room knowing my girl is in pain is way too much for me to handle, baby."

Yes, you could have answered in words, but you were an impatient being. You surged forward to connect your lips to his instead, ignoring the stab of pain from the change of position as you melted into him, his large warm hand soon cupping the back of your neck to keep you close.

When Steve's other hand came up to your stomach in an attempt to quell the pain, you found yourself grinning too hard not to pull away. He grinned right back.

if you'd like to request something, please do so here. i'd love to hear from you, sunflower <3

[riaspeaks]

first kiss e.w

synopsis: when you get asked on a date and Ellie finds out that you have no experience she gives you a little lesson that leads to exactly what you hoped for and possibly more

cw: slight nsfw, insecurity, jealousy, making out, anxiety, fem reader, and panic attack

word count:1345

As you walked into your best friend's dorm room you saw her sitting on her bed playing video games. You had known her since freshman year of high school when you had met at orientation.” els are you almost done ?” you questioned her “Hold on babe” you could feel your stomach flutter at the sound of her pet name for you. a couple of seconds later she set the remote down and patted the spot next to her on the bed motioning for you to sit there. you graciously accepted sitting yourself down next to her.

“What's got you so cheery,” she asked noticing your smiley demeanor.” I got asked on a date,” you said excitedly smiling widely. Ellie's face dropped immediately at this “How are you gonna go on a date if you've never gotten to first base” she jokes with a hearty laugh/this time it was your face that dropped realizing that she was right. You had never even had your first kiss.

You had no idea what to say so you just stared at her blankly.” no m sorry I didn't mean it like that” she said assuming that she had made you uncomfortable in some way. she looked at you and could feel your heart flutter. You weren't supposed to feel like this. She was your best friend, not your girlfriend. 

“Maybe you should teach me,” you said jokingly even though you entirely meant it. It was no secret that Ellie had experience. In high school, she would return from her “dates” just her hooking up with girls and telling you all about it. Even though it broke your heart you tried your best to support her. let's just say her strap had been around the block several times. You couldn't blame them though Ellie was a ladies' man she would find herself flirting with girls without even realizing it. only coming to that realization when they leaned in for a kiss or asked to go back to her dorm.

She looked at you and you noticed a hint of hope in her eyes but the rest of her face told a different story. she looked quite shocked and she let out a noise that you couldn't quite figure out.” I mean if you want” she said rubbing her hands together as if she were about to dive into the world's best meal. “I know you're probably joking right now but I really could use some help here els,” you said letting out a sigh in distress. I mean if you really want me to help I can she said trying to be as helpful as possible.

“Okay but promise me you won't fall in love with me you said. it's too late for that said Ellie leaning in to kiss you. the kiss had completely caught you off guard. You couldn't wrap your head around what she meant by its too late for that but you wasted no time thinking about it immediately falling under her spell and melting into the kiss. Even though it was your first kiss you felt something special about this kiss. You couldn't tell whether it was the fact it was your first or if it was actually something different.

A small part of you hoped that this kiss would lead to let's just say other stuff. Your mind had always wandered when thinking of Ellie at night. Your mind wasn't the only thing that wandered your hand always seemed to find its way down to your needy cunt. It never felt right you could never make yourself cum.No matter how long or how hard you rubbed your clit you could never do it right but you were sure Ellie could do it right.

As soon as your mind started to trail away from the moment you could feel yourself panic a little. Ellie took notice of your body tensing up and put her hand on your lower back deepening the kiss and pushing your body closer to her. At this point, you were sitting on her lap. Your pussy was resting on her knee and you noticed her body tense for a moment before she tried her very hardest to go back to normal. She tried her best to keep her knee still but she felt like she was going crazy being able to feel your most vulnerable areas. Suddenly you felt yourself start to grind down on her knee. She immediately responded and you felt her knee move just in the right way to where she hit your clit just perfectly.

You let a small moan into the kiss unable to stop yourself from the pleasure she had given you from just a slight movement. In just a couple minutes you had gotten the hang of kissing or more specifically making out. She had yet to introduce you to tongue kissing trying her best to ease you into it. If you thought about her tongue for too long your mind would once again start to wander and you would start thinking about the other things her tongue could do and how she could make you feel. By now the kiss had turned into a sloppy makeout session your both wanted to taste each other as much as possible.

You could feel your back arching into her and your panties growing wet. Ellie noticed this feeling from the fact your skirt was pooled around Ellie's lap while the only thing between you two was your thin panties that had by now grown soaked. You had never imagined your night going like this. Sloppily making out with your best friend on her bed rubbing your needy cunt on her as she moved her knee in just the right way.

Suddenly you felt a strange feeling in your lower stomach and the realization hit you that Ellie was about to make you cum. As soon as you had processed that you would feel yourself come undone. Your legs started to shake and you let out a string of noises trying to think straight. You pulled away from the kiss. A string of spit between your faces. You looked at Ellie expressionless still trying to come down from your high. 

After a couple of moments of focusing on your breathing, Ellie let out a little chuckle and flipped you over so you were laying on the bed.” m’ gonna get you cleaned up okay?” she said and heard her footsteps leading into the bathroom. when she came back she quickly cleaned you up and pulled off your panties.” what are you doing els” your question in a quiet voice. Your question was quickly answered when she pulled some of her boxers onto you.

You truly had no desire to go on your date anymore. You realized that nobody could make you feel the same way Ellie made you feel. You grabbed your phone from the side of the bed and checked the time 7:49.You felt a pit of dread growing inside your stomach and switched your phone off. Ellie had gone to the bathroom so you took this as your chance to slip on your skirt and grab your phone.

You left in a panic feeling your breathing getting out of control again. Ellie had heard the door slam and had come out of the bathroom only to find you gone just your pretty lacy panties on the floor right where she had left them. By now you were practically running back to your dorm room. You had texted your date that you wouldn't be able to make it anymore and that you were sorry. When you reached your dorm you practically slammed the door before leaning on the door and doing the breathing exercises you were taught to do years ago. After successfully calming down you took off your shoes and laid in bed. you could feel all your anxieties catching up to you because the truth was no matter how fast you ran you would never be able to outrun them.

[truetogaia]

Why are you blue?

Pairing: Recom!Mansk x Avatar!reader.

Just a small drabble i wrote because i was bored, it lowk sucks but sometimes you just gotta let it suck (OOPS, do not even think the thank.)

Here is my navigation for further exploration ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

All throughout your childhood, he had been right there. During all the heartbreaks, thrills, experiences and sorrows. Mansk had not once left your side, and you had never left his. The two of you were inseparable, always having dinner at each other's place instead of your own, depending on which household made the yummiest food that particular night. You shared your dreams with each other, noticing how you were both interested in joining the army.

“When I get older, I wanna join the military and be a strong soldier like my daddy!” Mansk said, his eyes lighting up. 

“Me too! But I wanna work in the scientific field. It’s so cool how they get to watch the stars” 

As you got older, hitting the teenage years, your friendship only grew, along with something else. You realized it on a warm summer night, surrounded by your friends during a sleepover. They had been talking about their crushes and potential boyfriends, and when they had asked you, your tongue subconsciously formed the word Mansk, but you didn't say it. You couldn’t. They all knew who he was, and a few of them even had crushes on him of their own. The feelings hadn’t presented themselves specifically that night, but that was the first time they became apparent to you. 

Your emotions gnawed on your soul, tearing away pieces from it every time Mansk would accept a date or a flower. But the thread finally snapped when one of your dearest friends asked him to prom. He had gotten many invitations already, his locker filled with bouquets and chocolates, heart shaped balloons and so on, it made your heart ache every time he would open it with you around. He had accepted the promposal, not hesitating once. You knew he had a crush on her, and that it had been a long time since he first interested himself in her. 

At home, you cried, you sobbed and screamed into your pillow. Your feelings had finally decimated the remnants of your heart. You hurt for days, eyes cried numb and red, face puffy and sore. Your best friend had tried to visit many times, worried about the cause of your absence. Your mother never let him in though, always coming up with excuses such as, “Oh she's terribly sick right now.”, “Nono, I can't let you up there, the disease is very infectious!”.

But oh how you missed him, your heart lurched and stung at the thought of him. Many days had passed since you had lost your last chance. The day of prom was approaching rapidly, and before you knew it, you were sent back to school. Mansk had greeted you with a painfully cheery expression laced on his face, hugging you tightly and repeating how much he had missed you. It did not help the agony in your heart, rather making it so much worse you felt physically ill.

The night of prom was an eventful one. You had been given a ride by Mansk’s father to the event as your mother was working the night shift. The place was crowded and you had barely spotted Mansk and your friend over the sea of bubbling teenagers. Mansk was dressed in a marine blue suit, matching the dress of your former friend. 

You had greeted them both, not wanting to ruin your best friend's night by being an asshole. Mansk had praised your choice of outfit, peppering you with compliments, which had made his date visibly irritated. You tried laughing it off, giving her compliments to lighten up the mood, but you were only met with a  fuming expression. Then she started throwing insults your way, criticizing your looks and downright bullying you. Your expression changed to one of great shock, you never knew she could be like this, gobbled up by jealousy. 

The comments were enough to make your mood plummet significantly, tears began to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision. Mansk had been silent the whole time, not interfering at all, only “watching from afar”. It hurt to see that your best friend did not seem to care, so you turned on your heel and walked away, night, makeup and confidence ruined. 

Your mind began to wander, of course she was right, I mean, of course! She was the one clutching the heart of your dream boy, not you. How had you been so stupid this whole time, thinking that you at least had the speck of a chance with him, when you knew you didn’t. 

Shouting could be heard from the window of your room, you were snuggled up on your bed, listening intensely to your best friend trying to explain himself.

“I'm sorry, Y/N, you know I would never hurt you willingly..” He tried.

“Just shut up Mansk! You stood right there, right beside her! You were still holding her hand as she literally drowned me in insults for god's sake! And you did nothing, you didn't tell her to stop even when you knew she was hurting me, you could’ve put a stop to her running mouth even before she started running it!” You cried, knuckles turning white from the intense grip you had on your pillow. 

“I-”

You sobbed, “Just get out.” 

“But Y/N-”

“Get out! I hate you!” You were screaming at him, he pulled back, retreating. When you finally saw that he had given up and started heading towards the door, you cried. You cried and you cried and you cried. Your best friend was gone, the friendship which had lasted since baby age was over, ripped to shreds by him and him only. 

You grew older, the memories of a time enhanced by happiness and friendship fading with age. You had shifted all your focus to your studies and worked hard in your field. At last, your hard work paid off as you were enrolled in the scientific team in the avatar program of the RDA. It was a new program and they had asked for you specifically, much because you honed great expertise in the space researcher field and you had come to be a renowned biologist, it was a perfect match. 

Working with THE doctor Augustine was amazing, she was the big inspiration in your childhood. You had great respect for her as she had for you, you had proven yourself to her on the first day while sharing your knowledge and hidden intentions about the planet. When Norm and Jake were added to the team, they quickly became a nuisance to you, Norm always hovering around you, eager to learn from you despite the fact that you were literally his age, if not younger. And Jake, just being Jake. 

Your time was filled with researching the home of strange creatures and humanoid aliens in your new, blue body. On the day of the introduction, the Colonel was assembling his team, presenting them to all aboard the base. One particular individual caught your attention, but it was impossible.

You kept on with your research, occasionally catching a glance of someone you thought resembled a key component of your childhood, until the day finally came when you had to make a decision. Stay loyal to the RDA and their plans to excavate the planet and its resources, or join forces with the na’vi and Jake. You completely let go of the humanity in you, siding with the natives in a heartbeat. 

The fight was brutal, you were mostly tending to the wounds of the warriors, never really going out into battle. You were not a very good fighter, and after the death of Grace, you dedicated your whole being to healing and soothing. You became a very close assistant to the Tsahik, yet always respecting her space and superior knowledge. You also became na’vi, what was left of the human in you was now washed clean away.

You never found a mate though, something was always eating away at your being, a longing for something distantly familiar. There were many suitable options in the clan, but you always excused yourself with having more important things to take care of. 

You lived the post-war years in peace with your clan, now serving under Jake after the devastating death of the former Olo’eyktan, Neytiri's father. You often babysat for Jake and Neytiri, taking care of all the kids. Even though Spider wasn’t really their kid, or na’vi, he was your favorite. You appreciated his enthusiasm to help the natives, often recognizing little pieces of yourself in him. 

On one particular morning, you were babysitting the kids, they loved you, saw you as their own flesh and blood, an older sibling, of sorts. Your avatar form was only a few years younger than Jake’s, but apparently it was enough. When Lo’ak suddenly mentioned that he wanted to explore an abandoned war ruin, you were at first appalled, the thought of visiting something from a time so horrible made your heartbeat quicken. 

But after some very convincing reasoning from the younger na’vis side, you were off. Of course you had to bring all the kids, except Neteyam, he was big enough to venture on his own. 

The forest was eerily quiet, there were no creatures lurking in the underbrush like there usually were, it felt as if the towering trees were throwing more shade on you than usual. Something was off, something had disturbed the peace of Pandora's forests. The kids hadn’t noticed anything yet, maybe that was for the better, you thought. Getting them home at such a late hour wasn’t going to be easy considering how far you had already strayed from the village, so them feeling uneasy wouldn't be a helping factor.

Brushing it off, you caught up to the younger na’vi trying to navigate their way through the greenery. They soon reached the wreckage, Lo’ak was the first climbing up the ruin to check it out whilst Tuk carefully clasped her hand in yours, hiding behind your figure. The wreck resembled an aircraft, neatly tucked away in the plants of the forest, never to move again. 

While the kids were exploring the unknown, at least to them, object, you had a funny feeling. Your ears twitched, picking up a strange noise. Pummeling of boots on soil, chopping of flora and verdure, your curiosity peaked as this sound was nothing forest made. 

Lo’ak also noticed the strange racket, but instead of staying put as he should, he decided to investigate. You quickly rushed after, ushering the kids to stay in place as you went to collect the mischievous child. A sudden rush of heat to your face and gust of wind that carried a familiar scent made you step back, placing your hands on your head. It hurt, a lot, a throbbing sensation spreading throughout your brain. You ran after Lo’ak, determined to get him out of there. 

The scent grew stronger, completely blocking your nose. It was overwhelming, but familiar, the sensation of it. The former Tsahik had described the mate-phenomenon to you before, finding the one true mate, the one meant for you. All the symptoms aligned, the headache, the sudden heat, the abusing scent. You couldn’t believe it, what was your mate doing out here in the lush, unexplored wild of the forest? Lo’ak was gone from your sight, you panicked and turned around, scanning your surroundings for the remaining kids, but they, too, were gone. 

Your legs carried you easily through the forest, it had started to rain, heavy drops of water cascading down from the iridescent leaves onto your rushing figure. Though your nose was assaulted by the irrepressible smell, you could still make out small portions of Tuk’s scent. It was drawing closer the further into the wildlife you ran. A twig snapped unexpectedly, followed by a groan and a hiss. You stopped and crouched behind the roots of a tree. Carefully, attempting to make no noise, you peeked over the wood. There, in the midst of a dead, burnt patch of grass, were the kids. But they were not alone. Each child was restrained by a blue.. Avatar. You could not believe your eyes, rubbing them deliriously, not trusting your night vision. 

The scent was even stronger now, it was clouding your mind, fogging all your senses and making it hard to think. You looked around the circle of bodies, these weren’t regular avatars, they were recombinants, resurrected soldiers. You recognized their faces, as well as the names on their clinking dog tags. 

One of the recombinants stood out to you, your eyes continuously wandered to his form no matter how hard you tried, the smell only increasing each time you caught a glimpse of him. He was holding one of the kids by the arm, restricting their every movement. You growled quietly, not wanting to draw too much attention to yourself. You got ready to attack, gripping the bow from your back along with a handcrafted arrow. You carefully aimed at the special recoms head, getting ready to fire when he suddenly took his sunglasses off. 

You stopped dead in your track, dropping your bow in the process. Gasping, it came to you, why he was so familiar, why his scent was making your heart ache. 

It was your childhood best friend, Mansk. 

[its-actually-minicika]

Headcanons for the HotD!Main Three

Part 1? (Let me know if you would like more);;

Pairing(s): Aemond x Reader, Jacaerys x Reader, Aegon x Reader

Warnings: None, for once in my life;

Author's Note: just a couple of fluffy headcanons for your pleasure, to make up for the last part of the Yule Ball series;; they date back to your first meeting with the boys, and go as far as to touch close to the full-swing celebrations of the ball, during your 5th year at Hogwarts :)

Of First Meetings And First Crushes

☆ Aemond Targaryen ☆

There is a single, undisputable fact when it comes to your life at Hogwarts - you and Aemond go way back;

He bumped into you on your first ever ride on the Hogwarts Express. While you were discoursing with your new possible housemates, he was frantically searching for his old cat, Vhagar;

"I lost my pet. She is a Siamese cat with only one ear - answers to the name of Vhagar." He said stiffly to the cheery group of people, and one 3d year Ravenclaw snickered in reply: "Shit, little guy, I'd run away too if my name was Vhagar."

His group of friends immediately started laughing and it's safe to say you didn't like that;

After a short screaming match with the rude Ravenclaws (which you effortlessly won), you decided to help Aemond find his missing cat;

"You shouldn't have done that." He chastised you with a serious tone. "They could be your new housemates."

"There is only one thing I won't tolerate in my presence, and that is a bully!" The fire in your eyes made him smile - truly smile. "Now, let's go find your cat."

Vhagar ended up being in the back compartments, with all the other caged pets; she was trying to reach for your own cat with a shaky paw, but was failing miserably

Aemond grabbed her hurriedly and you made a joke that your pets should be best friends - he turned really red after seeing your wide smile;

For the rest of the train ride, you both sat together in an empty compartment - and when Aemond got hungry, you gave him one of your P&J sandwiches that you made for the trip;

"I also added chocolate chips. The secret is to add many, many chocolate chips."

He felt really dejected when you were sorted into Gryffindor, and he in Slytherin. He thought that was the beginning of the end for your sudden friendship - but you proved him wrong when you defended him time and time again whenever anyone made a nasty comment about his hair, his height, his gloomy disposition or his "ugly" cat;

He fell in love with you very quickly: how could he not, when you were so radiant and so good to him?

Your friendship was going steady, until the end of your 1st year, when he stopped writing to you mid-summer;

You were crushed by his silence, and eventually stopped writing as well;

When you saw him on the Hogwarts Express again, you understood why he ghosted you - his left eye was covered by a black eyepatch, and a deep scar cut from his brow to his lower cheek.

A lot of drama ensued between you two: Aemond tried his hardest to push you away, but you were very determined and head-strong. Eventually, your friendship won in the face of any argument or harsh words Aemond could throw in your face;

During your 3d and 4th year, he was COMPLETELY DEVOTED to you;

He was your shadow - wherever you went, he was quick to follow.

Some students made nasty comments about it (always behind his back, of course, because Aemond had that scary presence);

When he told you about the stinging comments, you assured him that you loved hanging out with him and it would really hurt you if he stopped being near you;

Aemond.exe stopped working for 3 working days after hearing you say that - yeah, he does loves you that much, HE IS WHIPPED;

That being said, Aemond's love language is acts of service and quality time;

He "helps" you with homework (a fancy word for "he literally does it for you even if you don't ask him to") and is always there when you need someone to listen and lend you a crying shoulder;

You invited him over for Christmas during your 3d year, and he was so nervous, he wore his best clothes when meeting your parents;

He looked really chill on the outside, though, and spoke really mechanically for the 1st half of the night, like he was applying for a job or something;

Little do you know he was applying to be your boyfriend EYYY--

Everyone knows you're in love. EVERYONE. It's really annoying to look at the two of you sometimes smh;

"JUST CONFESS AND GET IT OVER WITH PLEASE WE'RE ALL BEGGING YOU"

"Celeste, he doesn't like me like that..."

"YES BITCH HE DOES"

He's the main Slytherin Chaser and the Quidditch team captain;

What a surprise, omg!11!!1!

He's not even into the sport, he just wanted to make a point that even with his missing eye, he can still do anything everyone else can - and better;

Okay, Aemond, we get it, you're really cool;

You're also the Gryffindor Seeker (oh-oh, athletic rivalry???) and he ALWAYS comes to your games (when he's not directly playing against you, of course);

He won't be cheering for you while swinging a butterbeer in the air - but he will curse the other seeker out under his breath and smirk when you catch the Golden Snitch;

Your first ever game was against the Ravenclaws, and when he came to support you wearing all silver and green, you gave him your Gryffindor scarf;

"So you can blend in with the enemy!" You beamed at him so innocently;

He gaslit you into believing he gave it back and you just lost it;

You didn't lose it;

He stole it from you and now hides it in his trunk;

He takes it out when no one is in his dorm and sniffs it from time to time LMAO;

He bought you a new scarf from Hogsmeade, though;

Never give it to him during a game.

NEVER!

He will steal it again.

And buy you ANOTHER scarf;

And repeat the terrible cycle;

It just smells like you, okay???? It's not his fault, now leave him alone;

When you win a game, and you're not otherwise engaged, he celebrates with you in Hogsmeade;

He takes you to "The Empty Barrel" (literally the fanciest restaurant the little town has to offer);

"Don't even think about covering the whole check, Aemond!"

"Hmm."

No, he won't take you to Three Broomsticks. The tables there are sticky and he wants to do this right, god damn it...!

You feel bad that he always pays for those little dinners, when it should be you who covers the table;

So you shyly ask him if he wants to go celebrate one of his victories with you one day;

He wants to whisk you away and keep you all to himself with how adorable you're being;

Aemond accepts (how would he ever say no to you), but has to take an hour long cold shower after your proposition to cool off;

Anyway, you decide to take him to The Hog's Head!

You eat there and HE STILL COVERS THE DAMN CHECK;

"Aem. We agreed on something. Come on!"

"Did we now?"

"You're terrible. I'm never going out with you again."

But you do. And he knows not to take your cute threat seriously;

He gives you a small chuckle that makes your whole face burn in embarrassment over the things it led you to think about;

Despite the initial set-back, you do manage to one-up him that night, though! You tell him to wait in the empty Great Hall for you, and you return with a homemade apple pie and those horrible peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that you gave him when you first met;

"We never ate dessert! There's no way we can end the night without dessert."

He almost kisses you then and there, but gets scared you'll reject him;

The Portrait of Merlin ships you two. That's all I had to say.

No, but seriously, the most invested on-looker is the portrait of Merlin - he learns both your schedules every year and always keeps one of you busy with talking in between classes, so that you may "accidentally bump" into each other (see part 1 of the Yule Ball for a snippet of that);

The whole ass West Wing placed bets on who you'll end up with between Aegon, Aemond and Jacaerys.

Bonus: when you walk with Aemond, no matter the time of day, you have the biggest "scary dog privileges". NO ONE is getting close to bother you;

☆ Jacaerys Velaryon (Strong) ☆

You and Jace are also in the same year! But despite the fact that you guys have been seeing each other day and night since your sorting, you weren't really friends until your second year, when you suddenly got partnered up in so many of your classes;

You were excited to work with him, since he was so sweet to everyone, but you were also a little scared of rejection;

He came from a good family, he had a good last name, a million friends and a thousand extra-curriculars he partook in;

You half-expected to do all those projects wholly by yourself - to your surprise, Jace was incredibly serious, and the best partner anyone could ever hope for!

He never takes himself and his vision on things too seriously, and is more than happy to admit when he's wrong or when you have a better idea than him;

He smuggled pumpkin pastries into the Library for your first study meeting, and it ended up becoming tradition for the two of you;

How you never got caught eating in a forbidden space is beyond everyone at this point;

Although you never really started hanging out outside of class after your first couple of projects, you now called each other "friends" and always sat next to each other in Potions and DADA;

Unbeknownst to you, Jacaerys got into a fight over you and actually broke a Slytherin's nose when he heard him talk smack about you and your supposed weight;

"I dare you to say that again."

50 points were taken from Gryffindor that day - it was a pretty big deal;

He ended up talking so much about you to his parents on Christmas break, that they invited you to celebrate the New Year with them - you accepted, although a bit confused by the spontaneity of it all;

His family is the sweetest EVER;

Laenor made you a beautiful maroon sweater with your name designed on the collar with golden letters;

Of course, Jace had a matching one and wore his almost every day when you guys came back to Hogwarts;

He loved the fact that you were twinning your fits - even if you did it accidentally;

During your stay with his family, you got really close to Baela, Rhaena and Luke! You felt really grateful - your second year was rough for you, with Aemond's ever changing mood, and you felt so happy to be surrounded by friends who cared about you;

Jace and Luke BEGGED their parents to buy them a phone to talk to you over the summer in a more conventional way;

And they literally called you every single day while they spent their summer away in Denmark, visiting relatives;

You can only imagine how much they had to pay for all those international phone calls...

Let's get one thing straight, Jace has always been adorable.

BUT HIM DURING YOUR THIRD YEAR AT HOGWARTS??

HELLO??

Puberty hits this boy LIKE A TRUCK;

He looks so soft with that short fluffy hair and THE CURLS;

He also grows taller than you with half a foot;

To your (and everyone else's) mind, he was literally perfect - unapproachable;

People started calling him the school's prince, AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO;

Third year is a busy time for both of you - the try-outs for the Quidditch team are in full swing, and Jace lands himself the position of chaser (Luke follows you shortly the following year as your new keeper);

He quickly becomes the star of the Gryffindor team;

Girls swoon over him and his "sexy dimples";

You make fun of him for that and he blushes profusely, saying that he "doesn't like anyone like that anyway";

He literally sucks at Charms and Transfiguration, and he uses that to his advantage to get closer to you, since you excel at those subjects;

HIS LOVE LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH AND ACTS OF SERVICE;

Jace is so, so respectful of you though, he drinks that women respekt juice every single day; he wouldn't dare touch you if you weren't comfortable with that;

If you are just as touchy feely as he is, he LOVES having a protective hand thrown over you;

He has his own insecurities regarding his paternity rumours - The Targaryens are the embodiment of those very old pure-blooded families who still believe that muggleborns and half-bloods shouldn't "mix and match";

This is why Rhaenyra is even married with Laenor (who is obviously gay, and in the same predicament as she is, due to his family - bless him) and not Harwin Strong, Jace's actual father;

He feels trapped in his own family heritage, and feels so guilty when he catches himself thinking about escaping it sometimes;

Due to all that, Jace has a tendency to over-work himself and try to be in too many places at once;

You manage to level him and bring him back to earth - when he's with you, he forgets about his worries and he's so, SO GRATEFUL;

He falls in love with you during your 3d year at Hogwarts, but doesn't realise it until the very end of your 4th year (denial is a river in Egypt...);

Speaking of your 4th year, you have a small fall-out with Jace during that time, due to the fact that he gets his first girlfriend;

She's an exchange student from Ilvermorny, and she doesn't approve of your friendship one bit (oops);

Jacaerys tries to be the perfect gentleman with both of you, and fulfil both his "friend" duties, and his "boyfriend" ones;

Unfortunately, the perfect balance he figures out is ruined the moment you come to him with an emergency, and he completely forgets about the dinner date he had with his girl;

She breaks up with him the next day, telling him that he shouldn't use people to get over others;

And he's so confused, bless his heart;

"W... That's not... That's not what that was about!";

He feels really guilty for making his ex feel that way, and eventually figures out a way to make it up to her enough to stay friends;

Jacaerys is honestly the perfect ex LMAO;

Don't hate the player, hate the game;

His face completely falls when they brew Amorentia in Potions class and the whole place starts smelling like you;

But he STILL denies it for a while;

Psh, please, so many girls in this school could wear your exact perfume.

Right?

... right?

Jace is a very, very determined person. And once he sets his sight on someone, it's on;

You can bet the moment he hugs you goodbye at the train station, he's gonna think all summer about you and your beautiful soft hair;

Bonus: Jace's Boggart is a random manifestation of his loved ones dying - the worst one for him to face is yours;

☆ Aegon Targaryen ☆

Aegon doesn't care much about you at first;

He knows you're his younger brother's and nephew's "little girlfriend", and honestly doesn't see what's so great about you;

That is until you have a heart to heart with him when he's drunk out of his mind in Hogsmeade one day, during his 6th year (and your 4th one);

He was passed out into the snow, and you - beautiful, angelic you - came to his swift rescue;

He feels your warm hands touch his cheeks and forehead, and your own trench-coat cover him;

You lead him to the castle, and give him your coughing syrup that your parents packed for a quick pick-me-up;

"What's this?"

"It's cough syrup. For when your throat is sore."

"My throat isn't sore."

"Yet."

He becomes completely obsessed with you after that - and shows it to you in the harmless ways that he knows how;

Endless teasing, big and small pranks, small anonymous gifts;

His love language is gift giving and physical touch, so expect a lot of both, even if you aren't comfortable with that;

He is so thirsty for attention - even more so for your approval;

But he'll never admit it;

Still, if he happens to overhear that you like boys with short hair, he'll cut his hair short;

If he hears you like that soft boy aesthetic, that's exactly what he'll aspire to look like;

Unlike his younger brother and your other suitor, Aegon doesn't play Quidditch;

He'd much rather watch from the sidelines, thank you very much, and cause trouble while enjoying a cold butterbeer;

And unlike his baby brother, Aegon goes crazy with cheering for your victories (and even your losses when he's very drunk);

"HELL YEAH, (Y/N), THAT'S MY GIRL, WOOOO!"

"You do realise we lost... right?"

"... Oh."

"And I'm not your girl."

"... YET!"

The latter doesn't happen as often as you'd think;

It's cheesy, but you really do change him for the better. Slowly yet surely;

His support and affection for you goes as far as denying support for his own house.

"BOOO, FOUL PLAY!! THAT SEEKER SHOULD GET A RED CARD, HE PUSHED (Y/N) INTO THE OLD ARENA!"

"Aegon, that's the Hufflepuff Seeker..."

"..."

"..."

"BOOO!! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THESE THINGS?"

It's kind of obvious to everyone that he's also in love with you;

Except for you, since that's a theme;

You take his flirting as just that - Aegon flirting.

He gives you flowers on your birthday and a very expensive necklace with his initial on the back? - Nah, that's just how Aegon is.

He asks you out? - Nah, that's just how Aegon is.

He only dates girls who have a resemblance to you? - Nah, that's just how Aegon is.

Everyone gives you judgy looks when you say those things;

Aemond and Jacaerys are the only ones who are sort of glad you don't realise the depth of his feelings tbh;

You can bet Aegon and Aemond fight a lot because of you LMAO;

Oh, I'm sorry, you thought their relationship was bad before you entered the picture? Have a look at it now that Aegon's also courting you;

"You are so spoiled."

"I'm sorry? It was just a necklace. I don't understand why you're so pissed off about it."

"You know I love her."

"Are you dating her?"

"Hmm."

snickering "I'll take that as a no, then"

"Why is it that you feel the need to go after everything I want?"

"Easy there, brother, she's not your property or something."

"She's mine."

"You've known her for five years and you've done nothing to court her."

"Not everyone sleeps around on the first fucking date."

"Some people go after what they want. I warmly suggest you start doing the same."

"You aren't worthy enough of her. You never will be."

"... We'll see."

Bonus: Aegon has a moving picture of you and him in his wallet and sometimes talks to it when his life at home gets too hard;

Now this could be cute and sad at the same time, if not for that fact that Alicent caught him reciting a love poem to it once and Aegon panicked so hard, he pretended he was schizophrenic so she'd leave him alone;

She didn't, in fact, leave him alone;

He had to go to three different psychiatrists over the summer, to confirm that he was okay;

[vlrspace]

21:49, oikawa x reader

wc: 0.9K

an: angst, that’s it.

the late evening seemed quiet as the sky turned dark blue with many stars scattered around. the flickering of some streetlights didn’t help much as the pitch black shades of the trees made it difficult to see the road ahead.

oikawa tooru looked down at the cement he was walking on, ears plugged in and hands pushed far into his pockets, deep in thought. he felt tired, both physically and mentally. the worst part was that he could only blame himself. he was the one who was always so stubborn to stop practicing when he was already past his limit or stayed back at the gym after practice ended to perfect his serve and his toss to become the very best. his right knee throbbed as he thought about perfecting his jump serves tomorrow, but he ignored the pain, just like yesterday or the day before that.

then there were the things that took a toll on him mentally, they were getting difficult to control. to oikawa’s dismay, it wasn’t even school that made everything so unendurable, though he often found himself wishing, hoping, praying for school to solve all of his problems. when he came to the realisation that it’s his best friend who creates, yet solves all of his struggles, oikawa knew he was doomed.

his best friend of two years, an angel walking on earth in oikawa’s opinion. he thanked iwaizumi everyday for introducing you to him back in your first year, even if the second he laid eyes on you, he knew you were out of his league.

you were extremely smart, exceeding in your studies far better than him and you weren’t even japanese. you were quiet but chatty with the ones you were comfortable with and there wasn’t a single bad bone in your body. you were beautiful, catching the eyes of many with your glowing hair and pretty (e/n) hues.

yet you were so… indifferent with him.

it was in his nature to flirt and with his growing feelings for you, he was bound to sweet talk with you, tell you pick up lines and compliment you. however you deflected every. single. one. of. them. with a cold heart and a blank face, you paid no mind to him afterwards. of course though, after many years of pretending to not hurt the feelings of his fans, he perfected his “cheery” attitude. it really did help him out at times like this, when you rejected his advances, he played it off, not looking the slightest bit hurt as he continued on with his day.

oikawa liked to think it worked for him to pretend it didn’t get to him, but that’d be a big fat lie. to him, you were worse than losing to ushijima, because no matter how hard he tried and dated other girls to get over you, nothing changed and he remained hopelessly in love with you. and even with your heartless ways of hurting him, he still called you his best friend because you were always there to pick him up, whenever he needed it.

he lost a practice match against another team?

on your way home you always buy his favourite snacks to cheer him up a little (and the other boys too but he likes to think he’s special). or he received an almost failing grade on one of his tests? you sit with him in the library before practice to make sure he gets the best grade for his next test (who cares if you do the same with makki and matsun too? you’re spending one on one time with him).

he came down with a flu? you always come by during the afternoons with freshly baked milk breads, gatorade and with a bunch of photos from his classmate’s book so he doesn’t stay behind with school work. it warmed his heart to know that you cared for him, even if the boys came along most of the time too, he knew you were the one who collected all of the items, all alone and just for him (yeah, maybe this is something you do for the rest of the boys too, but he knows he’s the only one who gets more than gatorade and school work).

he pushed himself past his limits after practice? you always storm into the gym, yelling out profanities before you grab him by his hand and lead him towards the changing rooms. from the corner of his eyes, he can see three heads peeking inside, watching the two of you retreat with a smirk on their faces. you are dragging him by his arm on the way home, the trio of boys are walking behind you, watching with amusement as your smaller frame drags his 6 foot, broad frame behind you. oikawa doesn’t care if you call him shitty the whole time when you are somewhat holding onto him, butterflies going wild in his stomach (sometimes the others stay a bit longer after practice too but you never go as far as dragging them all the way to their home. you yell at them with a threat then give them five minutes to get ready).

you’re pulling all of these stunts, tugging at his heartstrings with a rough grasp that made him fall for you deeper and deeper every time and yet you walked all over him, when he tried to let you know that he wants more than a friendship.

why can’t you see how much he longed for you?

by the time he rounded the corner of his house, oikawa realised it was never the dark sky with the many stars scattered around or the street lights and the tall trees with their dark shades that made it difficult to see.

his tears were rolling down on his face as he made his way up to his room, suffering through the painful heartbreak, unknowingly caused by you.

[abiiors]

I looooooved your Ross fics <33333 I would love if you did more (only if you want to) !!!! You’re an amazing writer :)

I am always, always down to write more Ross fluff! Thank you so much anon ❤️

For the sake of this one, we’re gonna assume he does a lot of interviews, okay? Okay.

Anniversary

‘Come home to me,’ you pout at the camera and Ross’s grainy form sighs on the other end. 

‘I know, baby,’ he tries to pacify but at this point, he looks just as fed up as you feel. ‘I didn’t know the interviews were going to be scheduled in this way.’

There’s no point in rehashing this over and over again but you can’t help it; can’t help holding a small grudge against their management. He’s supposed to be with you right now, not thousands of kilometres away in cold New York. And you’re supposed to be planning your anniversary trip together…

‘Anyway, shouldn’t you be in bed?’ his voice snaps you back to reality. 

‘I am in bed.’ 

‘Smartass,’ he smiles. ‘Go to sleep!’

‘It’s like you don’t wanna talk to me,’ you grumble. He rolls his eyes playfully and mouths “dramatic.”

‘It’s not me who wakes up in a stab-y mood after a late night,’ he adds.

The back and forth continues for a bit longer. Just to bid time, you ask pointless questions (how are the others? Fine. How’s New York? Boring without you. Would you still love me if I was a worm? That one makes him laugh so loud that he gets more than a few odd looks from people around him.)

Eventually, as your eyes start to close on their own, you have no other choice but to say bye to him. He promises to call first thing when he wakes up and you sleepily threaten him not to forget. 

That night you dream of his fingers twirling a strand of your hair, you dream of his arms around your waist, you dream of his sleepy voice as he tells you all about his day. You make a mental note to count down the days till he’s back—two extra weeks added to the original timeline. And you make a mental note to send Jamie a glitter bomb. 

The next day is sucky (just as Ross predicted). You do, in fact, wake up in a stab-y mood, realise that you’ve run out of coffee at this crucial time and you almost get late to work. By lunchtime, you’re in such dire straits that when he calls, you make him talk to you for ten extra minutes. 

Rationally, you know two weeks will be over before you know it but there’s a smaller, irrational part that keeps reminding you that he won’t be here for your anniversary. You keep a reminder of all the days he’s supposed to do interviews and photoshoots, you make sure to wish him luck before each one of them. 

As the anniversary approaches, you keep track of your calendar less and less. Because every time you go on it, that date just keeps glaring at you. 

The night before, he calls as expected. 

‘Three years tomorrow,’ he smiles a big, goofy smile and you can tell he’s in a good mood. 

‘Three years,’ you echo. ‘You have a good day?’

‘An amazing day,’ he replies and then gets cut off by loud excited American chatter. 

‘Are you still out?’ 

‘Just out to grab some things,’ he replies vaguely but doesn’t elaborate further. 

You try to talk some more but the background noise is so loud that he has to hang up quicker than you’re ready for. You huff and go to your shared closet. He already had to take so many of his clothes with him that you’re left with slim pickings but he promised to leave you his grey jumper (“for use only on the bluest of days”)

‘Today certainly counts,’ you mutter darkly to yourself and then pull it over your head. 

Being surrounded by his scent helps a bit but you still toss and turn all night. Scroll through social media aimlessly. Shower him with love and affection on your Instagram stories. 

The day is extra cheery and extra clear when you wake up; as if the universe is trying to rub salt in your wounds. 

Fortunately, your anniversary is a Saturday. or rather unfortunately, you think bitterly. There’s no work to distract you from today. You make pancakes for one, play his favourite songs and dance to them alone. You pick up your phone and see that it’s nowhere near time for him to wake up. Still, you can’t resist shooting him a few quick texts. 

You leave me alone for one anniversary and I’ve started acting like a military wife waiting for her husband to come back from war. 

Happy Anniversary, my love

Come back to me :( 

They get sent but he doesn’t read them. By 9 a.m. your doorbell rings for the first time that day. Pretty flowers show up at your door with a sweet, handwritten note tucked in them. By 10 another package shows up. This time it’s the most gorgeously, outrageously sexy set of lingerie you’ve ever seen. And it’s in his favourite colour too. By 11, a delivery man shows up with a whole box of cupcakes. 

Even when he’s not here, he makes sure to shower you with all the love and affection. Even when he’s not here, you blush at the arrival of each gift and yet you feel his absence pointedly. 

By midday, the excitement of the incoming gift dims and now you’re just waiting for him to call. 

When the bell rings again, you’re slower to react, you try to guess what it is before opening the door. 

Your whole body freezes. 

He can’t be…

Surely not…

‘You’re here!’ you scream like a banshee and launch yourself into his already-open arms. 

You feel him laugh against you, feel his muscles flex as he picks you off the ground and twirls you around. 

‘You’re here,’ you whisper again; this time in disbelief.

‘I’m here,’ he confirms but makes no move to separate himself from you. ‘They cancelled the last photoshoot two days ago. I was going to tell you but then I thought this would be better,’ he confesses guiltily. 

You can’t bring yourself to care about the little white lie because he’s here!

‘I’m sorry you didn’t get the holiday I promised you,’ he whispers into the crook of your neck and you instantly feel your body warm up from the way his breath tickles.

‘Fuck the holiday,’ you mumble into his chest and sniffle a little. 

You feel him smiling in your hair as he breathes your scent in. You realise you’re still standing at the threshold, his bags still need to be taken inside but none of that matters. 

‘My military wife huh?’ he jokes and laughs louder when you slap his chest.

‘Shut up,’ you huff, ‘I was being manipulated into getting emotional.’

[andorerso]

Christmas with the Andors + Erso + Kerri. For the 5 things.

oh, this one's definitely a modern AU! not Maarva friendly but I hope you guys don't expect anything else from me by now.

it's first time Cassian's introducing Jyn to his family. they started dating recently, or so they say. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they've been dating for a year. no, she doesn't have to know Cassian has met the Ersos numerous times and actually spent Thanksgiving dinner with them instead of stuck at home with the flu as he claimed. no, she doesn't have to know they're already living together. it's just... he's learned over the years that it's easier to keep Maarva out of his love life when he can. but it's been a year now, and he actually thinks he might spend the rest of his life with Jyn if she wants to as well, so they have to get over the introductions at some point.

Kerri very kindly pretends she's never met Jyn before and hasn't known about her all along. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they went Christmas presents shopping together just last week. hey ma, isn't Jyn great? don't know what she sees in my idiot brother, but I'm happy for them.

well, Maarva's not sure she agrees. she isn't being outright hostile or rude, but there's always that undercurrent of judgment in her tone. Cassian's so used to it, he almost doesn't notice, that's just how Maarva talks, but Jyn definitely notices and is a bit off-put that this seems to be the norm. Maarva's skeptical, suspicious, inquisitive, definitely overbearing. she doesn't suspect their treachery, but she's clearly evaluating Jyn like she's at a job interview applying for a position in their family, and somehow Jyn doesn't think she's passing.

honestly, she doesn't even care. let the woman think what she wants, what matters is Cassian's opinion. but Cassian's clearly getting more and more pissed off by the second. this is why he never introduces his partners, this is why he waited a year to even tell them about Jyn. Kerri tries to remain cheery, and Clem does his best to keep the tension at bay, but there's no way it doesn't all end in an explosive argument once Cassian finally snaps. in the heat of the moment, he lets it slip that not only has he and Jyn been dating for a year, they've also moved in together last month. the oven pings at that exact moment to signal that the pie is ready. shockingly, no one wants any.

Jyn feels like it's probably best for her to leave at that point. she was gonna spend the night here with Cassian but it doesn't seem like such a good idea now, and although she would like to stay and support him, her presence is probably only making things worse. she gets up to excuse herself, but Cassian absolutely panics, thinking this is it, Maarva has successfully driven her away, because why would he be worth enduring this treatment, what sane person would want to put up with it every year? he follows her outside in a desperate haze to apologize, and she reassures him she's not that easy to scare away. I'm not dating your mother, Cassian, I'm dating you, she says while stroking his cheek. Cassian lets himself lean into her touch, relaxing for what feels like the first time that entire night. yeah, he's gonna have to go back in there and have a very difficult conversation with his mother, and it's not gonna be pretty, and there might be tears and screaming, but right now, it's just the two of them with flakes of snow falling around them and their breaths mingling in the cold air and nothing's going to ruin this moment. (inside, Kerri's definitely yelling, and he can hear Clem's soothing tone once again trying to play the peacemaker. just about how your average Andor dinner would go. Merry fucking Christmas.)

[sannasruins]

blue haired girl

hado nejire x reader

warnings: growing apart, unrequited feelings, abandonment, non-descriptive self-harm, lesbians (the horror!)

a/n: there's a bit of time skipping in this, so i’ve labeled things as their verses in the songs and the years (1, 2, and 3A) + semesters of high school they took place in. is nejire adhd/autistic coded? i cant tell, maybe its because i see the way she is as my normal (adhd) that i cant tell. i'm basing her personality strongly off the wiki bc she really hasn't had that much air time.

word count: 2.9k

inspired by and based on tv girl's- blue hair

Verse 1 - First Semester 1A

You and Nejire met on your first day of high school, class 1A. Both of you had quirks that were more powerful than the rest of the girls in your class, assuming that the two of you thought that you were superior to them and were already looking down on them, they took initiative and distanced themselves from you at the start. This left the two of you with only two options, have no friends, be a lonely outcast for the foreseeable future, or become friends. Obviously, it was an easy choice, and it was nice that the two of you got along well, and probably would have become friends even if you weren’t put in that unfortunate social situation. 

She was a blunt girl, not really knowing when it was the appropriate time, if at all, to say something that she wanted to say. She often ended up saying things that were accidentally hurtful, though if you let her know, she would instantly feel remorseful and apologize incessantly. She wasn’t always sure how to make a joke, often her attempts falling flat, but she was bright, and cheery, and had so much knowledge that she longed to share. You couldn’t help but find yourself smiling at her as you listened to her ramble about the newest thing, she learned that week on national geographic. 

One day, in the middle of your first year, she asked you how to be funny. You were taken aback, and asked her back, “you think I’m funny?” She nodded with a small smile.

You contemplated on how you should respond to her difficultly abstract question, “I don’t think that’s something you can teach.” 

She looked down, her smile falling off her face sent a pang of guilt to your heart. You quickly tried to backtrack, “I think you’re funny though Hado! You’re constantly making me smile and laugh!”. Her eyes met yours, a furrow forming on her brow, you stammered on, “Maybe not everyone thinks you’re funny, but I think that’s true for everyone! You just got to find the people that do think you’re funny and like being around you… like me.” You held eye contact with her despite the bright flush that made its way to your cheeks, ask if you were trying to transfer your conviction over to her.  She brushed off your almost confession with a giggle and a change of topic.

Chorus 1- Second Semester 2A

As you both aged, Nejire started to get more notice than you. Not that you were jealous, you being too enamored with her to care, no, you were just happy that she was getting the recognition you thought she so obviously deserved. It did sting though, when she would turn down your invitations for afterschool dates poorly vailed by you as hangouts. She needed to train though, she would say, and dismiss you with a “next time, okay y/n?”

Sometimes as you left the school building on your way home you would take the long way, past the training fields to watch her for a little bit, training with two boys from your class. You wondered why she didn’t ask you to train with her, to help her. You would never ask though, far too afraid of the answer that seemed to be pulling at the hem of your shirt, demanding your attention. She’s just focusing on training, it’s not like she suddenly stopped liking you. It’s not like she wanted to stop being your friend. It’s not like she was purposely ignoring you. Right?

Verse 2- Third Semester 1A 

The two of you were sitting in a cafe after school, one that Nejire had shown you a picture of on Pinterest and said the two of you had to go for their cute specialty foods. You had gotten a parfait, the cream on top having been manipulated into the shape of a cat, Nejire got a jasmine tea latte, the art in the foam had her swooning and whipping out her phone to snap pictures of it in multiple angles as she told you about her Pinterest page’s aesthetic, you listened along, slightly confused at the idea of people posting on Pinterest like it was a social media but not questioning it. After she had taken enough pictures of both her and your orders, the two of you started on your treats, she took a long sip from her latte and when she placed it back down on the table, she had suddenly grown a distinguished mustache made of foam. It made you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, trying to keep your laugher a courteous volume to the other patrons was exceedingly difficult as she didn’t seem to notice her new facial accessory and was looking at you very confused. In spite of your shakes of laughter you managed to raise a shaky hand to point at your upper lip, signaling to her what you had found so funny. She raised a finger to her top lip, touching the foam and then pulled it back to see what was on her face. Realizing what she had done, her face blushed a warm pink as she quickly grabbed her napkin to wipe it away. You had finally calmed down and noticed that she had missed a little bit on the far edge.

“Nejire, you still have some,” you told her and pointed on yourself where it was on her, picked the napkin back up and scrubbed at her face, but on the wrong side.

“No, other side,” you specified. She again rubbed at her face with the now crumpled napkin but somehow still managed to miss the small smudge of foamed milk.

Not thinking, you rose and leaned across the table, before wiping the white away with your thumb. You sat back down, and without a thought in your head, licked it off of your thumb. 

You noticed her face flush, even more than before, now a hot red; you realized the suggestiveness of what you had just done, and at the same time, felt an explosion of butterflies manifest themselves into your gut. 

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, looking down with a slight smile on her face, and you reddened. 

The two of you sat in silence for a while before she broke it.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

You didn’t think before you responded.

“Yes.” You hesitated and then added on, “I think you’re really beautiful.”

The two of you fell back into silence.

The purgatory of not knowing how the two of you felt about each other was horrible, but the fear of rejection, not just of a confession but of you as a person, rejecting your identity, kept you in your place. 

There really was no winning.

Chorus 2- First Semester 3A

It hurt, seeing her every day, but not being able to talk to her about anything and everything in the way that you had grown used to. She was part of the big 3 now, she was revered by everyone now, she was strong and kind and smart and now they were all seeing what you had from the start. It was selfish of you, you knew, but you wish they hadn't noticed. 

She wasn’t being purposefully cruel in her withdrawal from you, she wasn’t doing it to be mean, she had just forgotten, she had just been stretched too thin and something had to go. It was still mean though, and it was still cruel.

You felt the loneliest now, so much so it was almost incomparable. Your days now spent in silence, and slowly falling into the motions. School, train, sleep, school, train, sleep, school, train, sleep. With nothing to break the monotony, life became dull, and you were sinking into a different kind of blue, not the blue of an eye like you did when you first saw Hado Nejire, but into the blue of the mind, getting darker, muddier, harder to see what’s in front of you. 

You became more reckless, not in retaliation but due to a slow building and concerning lack of self-preservation. Often throwing yourself into dangerous positions with villains, jumping solo into fights, you had no probability of winning alone, asking for more and more hours at your internship. It kept it at bay for a little while, the numbness, but as with most things, it did not last. You feared you were slowly but surely becoming a shell of your former self.

You needed something more, you needed to keep yourself feeling, needed to keep yourself human, needed to keep yourself. So, you resorted to means you probably shouldn’t have. Flame, blade, burns, blood. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but it was something. 

On an especially hot September day it was odd to see students wearing their long-sleeved winter uniforms, but not enough to raise many questions. One girl asked, “Aren’t you hot?”, but you brushed it off, explaining that you just ran cold. A bold-faced lie to anyone who knew you, but none of them did. 

As you were working on your lesson book, Hado Nejire walked past your desk on her way to the front of the room, glancing down at you, maybe out of habit, she got a glance of lines of damaged skin, some already faded, but many varying degrees of red. She faltered in her step, double taking, confused as to what she was seeing. Not wanting to cause a scene in class or be caught staring, she almost seamlessly continued walking, and if one hadn’t been watching her, they wouldn’t have noticed her split second reel.

She stopped you by the door after class, and when you tried to scoot by her, thinking she wasn’t aware she was in the doorway, she blocked its entirety with her body, staring you down. She grabbed you by the hand and led you to an unused stairwell as you stumbled behind her hastened pace. You didn’t notice it at the time, but she was especially careful when grabbing you, fearing that she would take hold somewhere that would cause you pain, fearing to reopen possible wounds.

 There was a furrow in your brow as you looked at her, wordlessly questioned why she had dragged you there. She turned your arm over, her hand still holding yours, and gently raised your crisp white sleeve, a gasp of dismay escaping her lips as her eyes raked over your battered arm. She dropped your hand only to quickly grab your other one, pulling the sleeve of that arm up too. You were watching her face as she grit her teeth at the sight, her eyebrows pushed into an expression you didn’t know, one you had never seen before even after all the years you had known her. Her head turned and her eyes met yours, weirdly, you thought, they were filled with tears. 

“Why?”

This pushed some button you did not know you had, and an unexpected, hot rage filled you. 

“What do you mean, Hado?” you did not spit her name, but she flinched as if it was filled with venom.

“Y/n…” she trailed off. You remained silent, seething. 

“This isn’t like you, why would you do this?” 

You didn’t answer her for a long time before sighing, “You wouldn’t know Hado, you haven’t spoke to me in well over 5 months.”

“I’m sorry, I-” her words almost a whimper, but you interrupted her. 

“Please, don’t. I don’t think I can stomach it Hado, I think, whatever you’re going to say next, will only make things worse.”

She clamped her mouth shut, her lips in a pale line, and nodded tearfully, before choking out an “okay”. 

Things didn’t change much after that, though she was more watchful of you, you could, at times, feel her eyes boring into you from across the classroom or training halls and fields, and you started feeling a little different, slowing down in your efforts to drive away the numbness, as the numbness seemed to seep away from you. Less and less, you found yourself feeling as if there was nowhere else to go with a knife in your grasp. 

You also no longer prayed that she would make time for you, disillusioning yourself, and realizing that she was not perfect, though feelings as strong as yours don’t just simply disappear due to disillusionment. 

Verse 3- Third Semester 3A

Her hair had been burnt off, now in a blunt bob, and what once had been marred and blistered skin was now just slightly tinged pink. It still hurt you to see though, quietly observing. She was different now, bolder, more self-assured, Maybe, you mused, something had been burnt off along with her hair. You were different now too though, you were better. You had sought counseling, speaking to the trusted hero you were interning under, and they helped you find and utilize resources to mitigate your mental health. You felt lighter, you were still lonely, but you were now a little bit more at peace with your solitude, and less afraid to put yourself out there, slowly becoming friends with the sidekicks at your internship who were just a couple years your senior. 

Chorus 3- After Graduation

Sometimes you would see her on TVs in coffee shops, or in ads in magazines, though if you looked you could find yourself too, maybe not as often, but still there. Both of you were making a name for yourselves in the hero world. 

You had started dating a pretty sidekick from your agency, she was one of the first people you had befriended when you started putting in the effort to get better, she had been there for you through many bad nights, and many more good ones. You really, truly loved her. And yes, sometimes you would miss your first love, but not in a way of current longing, but for a past. You would never leave your girlfriend though, even if you got the chance to go back, even if they told you everything would turn out the way you had begged and hoped and dreamt. Those were no longer your dreams. 

It was in line at a coffee shop that you ran into her. She looked nice, more mature, gracefully slipping into her early 20’s, face less youthful, but still bright with a smile. 

The two of you chatted as you waited for your orders to be taken, and continued afterwards, as you waited for them to be made. 

She was direct in her flirting, touching your arm, complementing you, laughing a little too much at things that weren’t that funny. You did not reciprocate. 5 years ago, if she had been doing what she was doing now, you would have been over the moon, indescribably happy, but now, you didn’t feel much of anything at all. You were flattered, maybe a bit annoyed, but the feelings were so watered down, so muted that you could barely describe them as anything. You were happy to talk to an old friend though. 

“We should hang out some time,” she told you after your orders had been picked up from the counter and the two of you started towards the front doors, “go on a little afterschool date like we used to.” She smiled and winked.

You politely smiled back at her and opened your mouth to reply, when your phone started going off, the ring tone you had affectionately assigned to your girlfriend, playing. 

“Oh, sorry it’s my girlfriend, let me answer real quick,” not waiting for a response from Nejire, you picked up the phone.

“Hey love, what’s up?” You inquired through the phone.

“Are you almost home yet?”

“Yeah, I just picked up your coffee from the coffee place two blocks down.”

“Oh yay! Thank you baby, see you soon, I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

You ended the call and turned towards Nejire apologetically, “Sorry about that!”

You exited the shop, Nejire holding the door open for you, and stood next to her on the sidewalk, close to the building and out of the way. 

“Oh!” you realized you hadn’t answered her question yet, “yeah, it would be nice to hang out and catch up.” This time, hangout had no hidden meanings or crossed fingers. It was purely platonic. “I miss you,” she confessed. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, you were really never expecting her to say that. 

“I guess things ended up differently, not the way I wanted I mean.” she clarified. “It’s hard seeing you in the news, or in my fashion magazines, but not being able to see you in person anymore. I just… miss you a lot y/n, even though you’ve not gone anywhere.”

You hmm and nod, “you’re right, I haven’t gone anywhere. That was you, Hado Nejire. I’m proud of you, you're becoming a great hero.” You smiled at her softly. She stood, unmoving, looking at you, maybe waiting for something more, but you were no longer the person who would be able to provide that.

“Well, I need to get going before all this ice melts,” you shook the iced coffee in your hands, “or my girlfriend will have my head.”

“Oh, uh, okay” she stammered. 

“Message me! My numbers still the same, if you still have it. You could meet my girlfriend too, I think you’d like her, she’s amazing.”

Nejire nodded, watching your figure as you walked away, bitter jealousy and remorse making their home in her sour stomach.

Hi! I know it may seem like I am romanticizing self-harm in this but I promise I am not. As it is something I have struggled with for many years I am just reflecting my own struggles and thoughts, and trying to represent a mental illness as what it is. That doesn't mean it is something you should do, and if you struggle with it and are tempted after reading, here are some healthier alternatives. Please do not hurt yourselves, lovelies.