#colin falconer

[minetteskvareninova]

Oo what's the drama with Colin Falconer

I only ever read one book of his, but God was that more than enough. It was about Hürrem sultan... Well, mostly, there's this subplot about this chick named Giulia and guy named Abbas, anyway hon if you ever had trouble with low blood pressure, 10/10 would recommend, otherwise it's not a book for you, in fact I cannot imagine a book less for you if I made it up Goncharov-style. It's basically like Magnificent Century, if it was very much written by a western author and A BILLION TIMES WORSE

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century was a little unfair to Hürrem? In Harem, she's the most evil harlot to have ever been spat onto the face of the Earth by the hell itself. Seriously. Think of any redeeming quality she could have, quick. This Hürrem very pointedly and explicitly does not have it. Her love for Süleyman? Hah! She's been pretending this whole time to make Süleyman her slave! Love for her children? Nope nopity nope! This Hürrem actually lies to Süleyman at her deathbed that Bayezit may not be his son, just so he would kill him, because she wants Selim to take over. Not because she prefers Selim, but because she knows he would be a terrible sultan and destroy the empire she hates so much. Oh, so she's a broken, traumatized kidnapping victim lashing out against her oppressors? Well, I guess, but Falconer downplays this aspect of her character as much as possible, basically only mentioning her feeling "trapped" at the start of the book, just making her seem angry and not at all like she's, you know. Traumatized. So she at least has some empathy towards her fellow slaves? Or anyone else in the entire world??? No! This Hürrem is an absolute evil incarnate, like she does not do a single good thing for anyone else ever, even by accident.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century didn't quite do the justice to Süleyman the Magnificent? In Harem, he's but a pawn in the hands of eeevil Hürrem, who catches every bait, is fooled by every trick and unwittingly helps her fulfill every evil plan of hers. To Falconer's miniscule credit, he does make an effort to kinda, sorta make reader see what Süleyman sees in Hürrem, and at times he's almost an interesting character, but one of the greatest statesmen of the Ottoman history he is not.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century can be a little bleak? Well, In Harem, Colin Falconer has made it his life's mission to prove that he's the edgiest little edgelord, to only be beaten by Tara Gillespie. This book is an excellent example of wannabe gritty realism that ends up saying nothing about real world and not feeling real for a fucking second. Like, just focusing on the harem itself, the life there is presented as miserable, which, fine, we are trying to sympathize with these women... I would say if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that Falconer lowkey hates, or at least does not particullarly care for the other gender. So what you end up with is an endless parade of suffering women that the narrative doesn't give any dignity, agency or empathy. The only exception is Giulia, whose life of repression and meagre attempts at reclaiming agency would be kinda interesting, if they went literally anywhere, but they don't, because Falconer kinda hates women, but readers even moreso. And don't get me started on the sexualization, because if Minette says you enjoy describing the titties too much you, you definitely enjoy describing the titties too much. Which together with the endless abuse of women just makes this book feel all the more gross.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century has a problem with not being critical enough of the empire? Well, Harem tries that, but then Hürrem is presented as irredeemably evil for trying to ruin the empire and tricking Süleyman into fighting less, which she does not do out of political consideration, even though her arguments make sense and it's probably what IRL Süleyman realized on his own, also saint Mustafa is still there and still as much of a brave soldier destroyed by the evil Hürrem as ever... Basically any effort at critique is demolished as thoroughly as possible by the sheer force of author's hatred for Hürrem.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century has unfortunately left out or underserved some interesting female personalities of the era, like Süleyman's granddaughters or the female buddies of Selim II.? In Harem, Ayşe Hafsa is... Well, there for a portion of the book, basically twiddling her thumbs, which is nice, because at least they can't ruin her. Mahidevran is yet another female victim without agency, just a bit more prominent than the others. Mihrimah is there for one scene, just to establish she hates her husband, have her exposited on by Rüstem and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE. Yeah. Like, fuck, this book almost makes me want to appologize to the Magnificent Century Mihrimah, she's a pretty unlikeable character, but at least she is a character. And Nurbanu? Nurbanu who? We don't know 'dem, and we certainly don't have 'dem over here!

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century was unfair to Selim II.? In Harem, he's a monstrous child rapist in addition to a drunken glutton. Also, no Nurbanu, because fuck you, reader, at this point of the book you really shouldn't have expected anything.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century plays fast and loose with history? Harem can't even get the order of Hürrem's children right. Seriously. For example, Selim is the firstborn in this. Because why pass an opportunity to be pointlessly stupid?

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century is a bit lacking when it comes to medical knowledge? In Harem, an important plot point, by which I mean Selim's conception, hinges on a castrated man conceiving two children with two different women. Like a character in the book explicitly notes that unlike harem eunuchs, guards don't have the entire package chopped off, only balls WELL WHERE DO YOU THINK GAMETES COME FROM, AND YES THEY CAN SOMETIMES STILL HAVE SEX, EVER HEARD OF SHOOTING BLANKS YOU FUCKING GENIUS???

And just in case the things weren't bad enough, there's one final fuck you on the road with the epilogue, which mightily strives to be the stupidest fucking thing I've ever read - for me, a veteran of braindead straight women-oriented porn. Because no BDSM loving billionaire with a sixpack and big schlong can ever top this.

Basically, Falconer is trying to make his wildly historically inaccurate book seem like it's remotely plausible, which, cute, not the first time I've seen a historical novel do that. But at least they weren't trying to justify a man without testicles siring a child... And they didn't do it by claiming that every sultan before Süleyman was this mighty steppe warrior and statesman (after he portrayed Süleyman himself as a dupe completely ensnared by one woman's wicked wiles, again, adorable) and every sultan after him was this lazy, decadent tyrant, often also crazy (because sure, Mahmut II. isn't even in this book, but why the fuck not insult also him for good measure?!), so his argument is that "the line must've been broken". Because the great Süleyman the Magnificent (who again I cannot stress enough how not Magnificent he is in this book) couldn't have possibly sired a failson, his mighty sperm isn't capable of such a feat, it must've been someone else, like A FUCKING EUNUCH.

Now if you excuse me, I've gotten the long-requested review of this heinous book out of my system, please let me either drink myself to death, or detox by watching Good Omens, whichever comes more easily. Thank you and good night.

[alpacinosgf]

[albijulen]

[shrutithemisfit]

This is my first fanmade video of my Batman fancast. Enjoy!!!

I'm not an expert in video editing, but I tried my best and hope you like it.

Cast:

Colin Morgan as Bruce Wayne/ Batman

Katie McGrath as Selina Kyle/ Catwoman

Jason Isaacs as Alfred Pennyworth

Santiago Cabrera as James Gordon

David Mazouz as young Bruce Wayne

Camren Bicondova as young Selina Kyle

Sam Reid as Thomas Wayne

Anna Torv as Martha Wayne

Angel Coulby as Barbara Kean Gordon

Taylor Zakhar Perez as Dick Grayson

Asa Butterfield as Jason Todd

Rose Leslie as Dr. Pamela Lillian/Poison Ivy

Steven Buscemi as Carmine Falcone

James Marsden as Harvey Dent/ Two Face

Yael Grobglas as Gilda Dent

Keith David as Lucius Fox

Chris Messina as Alberto Falcone

Phoebe Tonkin as Sofia Falcone

James Gandolfini as Sal Maroni

Ben Barnes as Thomas Elliot

Claudia Doumit as Talia al Ghul

Natalie Dormer as Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel/ Harley Quinn

Jonathan Bailey as Jack Oswald White/Joker

Paget Brewster as Leslie Thomkins

Simon Quarterman as Edward Nygma/The Riddler

Gemma Chan as Lady Shiva

[ambafaerie]

He is thinking about the glass ceiling women constantly face and must break through to be taken seriously in the mob workforce.

[buffyfan145]

Awesome to see Cristin Milioti’s been cast as Sofia Falcone in Matt Reeves’ “The Batman” spinoff show “The Penguin”!!! :D She’s being billed too as the female lead opposite Colin Farrell’s Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin. It’s great getting Sofia too especially after what happened to her dad Carmine in the movie and that Selina Kyle is her half-sister in this. There’s also rumors they’re casting rival mob boss Sal Maroni as well as The Ventriloquist & Scarface. I was already looking forward to this show and even more so now.

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Galladrabbles Ink Mama Milkovich Version

One last @galladrabbles for @imikhailotakeyouian‘s prompt of ink

Laura looked at the faded ink etched into her son's knuckles. Remembering when Terry did them. So enraged she slipped him Rohypnol. Going into Mickey's room, finding him awake, crying from the pain, stifling the tears. She brought a homemade balm and rubbed it onto his tender skin. "Мikhailo, це нормально, ти можеш плакати. Ви в безпеці.". "I don't want to be a pussy." Mickey's eyes showed fear of Terry. Laura sighed softly opening her arms, Mickey hesitated before crawling onto her lap. She held him, rocking him, softly singing as his cries quieted. "Спати, спати, соколятко, Спати, спати, голуб'ятко"

[dccomicsnews]

Cristin Milioti Cast in HBO's "The Penguin" As Sofia Falcone!

Cristin Milioti Cast in HBO’s “The Penguin” As Sofia Falcone!

Cristin Milioti is the latest addition to HBO Max’s The Penguin. The actress has been cast in the role of Sofia Falcone, daughter of Carmine “The Roman” Falcone. Milioti herself is known for sitcoms such as How I Met Your Mother and Made For Love. She also delivered a Grammy-winning performance in the musical Once. Her film credits include Wolf of Wall Street and Greetings From The Shore. Cristin…

[mindctrlaltdel]

Random Reviews: The Batman

For the first two hours it's THE Batman – a gripping detective story with a badass Dark Knight punching, kicking and elbowing his way through Gotham's underworld and meeting a colorful cast of characters along the way.

In its last hour, it becomes A Batman – just another movie about the Caped Crusader trying to stop an anarchic menace and his out-of-control ideas. It's entertaining but we've seen it before – the citywide destruction reminds me of the BATMAN BEGINS ending, the villain's final act of evil reminds of the Joker's plot in THE DARK KNIGHT. Ultimately, the twists and payoff weren't as interesting and refreshing as the setup.

***1/2

[stefanoavvisati69]

The Penguin: la serie spin-off di The Batman pronta a conquistare lo schermo

Cari amici dell’universo di Batman non dovrete attendere molto per immergervi ancora una volta nelle profonde e oscure strade di Gotham City. Con l’annuncio ufficiale della serie spin-off “The Penguin”, basata sui fumetti DC Comics e prodotta da Colin Farrell, insieme a Matt Reeves, Dylan Clark e Lauren LeFranc per la piattaforma di streaming MAX, l’attesa è alle stelle. Il primo trailer, appena…

[qupritsuvwix]

https://colin-cantwell.com/millennium-falcon/

[koifoxes]

SAMIN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

it sounds like salmon HAHHA i'd go through with the idea if both characters REALLY love salmon

[daikenkki]

[shrutithemisfit]

Just a sneak peek on something I have been working on...

[batfall-a]

𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 .   /  @qraveyard​

                                                  *    )   𝙾𝚉   𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜   𝚍𝚒𝚍   𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎  𝚊   𝙵𝙻𝙰𝙸𝚁  𝚏𝚘𝚛  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚜.   𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚋𝚊𝚝   𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝   𝙴𝚇𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙻𝚈   𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍   𝚑𝚒𝚖   𝚊𝚜   𝚊𝚗   𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚢  ,   𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝   𝙾𝚉  𝚒𝚜   ,   is   just   another   CRIMINAL   BOSS.   an   annoyance  perhaps  ,   but   someone   who   will   require   a   GREATER   intellect   to   take   down.   it’s  not   as  if   the   bat   doesn’t   have   the   PATIENCE   it’s   just   that   GOTHAM   has   gone   to   EXTREMES   to  try  to   TERMINATE   his   presence   in   HER   city.   how   dare   HE  live  while   the  riddler   remain   behind   BARS  ?   then   again  ,   perhaps   she  had   tasked   EDWARD   NASHTON  with   a  task  that  was   BEYOND  his  capability.   water   accents   FALCONES   former  office   ,  𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝  𝚑𝚊𝚜   𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚍    𝚊𝚜   𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍  𝚘𝚏   𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐   𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙲𝙾𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂   𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎  𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍.   𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺  𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙻𝚈   𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚘𝚗𝚎   𝚌𝚊𝚗  𝚜𝚙𝚢  𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚝𝚜   𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝   𝚊𝚛𝚎   𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙻  𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐   𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜   𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖   𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛.   

                            ‘   oh   oz   i’m   counting   on   it  ’     he   looks   down   at   the  DESK   once   occupied   by   another  great   ,   that   found   his   DEMISE   at   the  hands  of   another.   ‘   do   you   like   the   office  ?   . . .   i   know  you’ve   been  always   THERE   secretly  hiding  out  in   the   shadows  ’    THE  BAT   shoots   a  faint   smile  ,  ‘  perhaps  we’re   more   alike   than  you  even  know  ’   i𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗   𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜   𝚊   𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙳   𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝   𝚘𝚏   𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚘𝚛  𝚝𝚘  𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜   𝚊𝚜   𝚑𝚎  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗   𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂   𝚞𝚙   𝚊𝚝   𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚂𝙺𝚈𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴.   ‘   i’m   sure   you  won’t  stop  hunting  me  till  i’m   good   and  dead  ’   words   fall  heavy   ,   ‘   it’s   to  ��be   ADMIRED   your   commitment   to   . . .   well  ,  . . .   me  ’   the  bat   then  allows   gaze   to  fall  upon  the  other  ,   MOONLIGHT   accenting   their   features   ‘   . . .   how   do  you   feel  about  monthly   check-ins?  ’

[mysterycitrus]

it’s been rumored that dick will appear in the next battinson movie (please matt reeves do it for the people 🛐) but i was wondering magic wand, full creative control ceded to you, what villain(s) would you want to see featured? i love what they did with the riddler in the first, managing to maintain a level of camp and absurdity while still positioning him as a dangerous and serious threat. same with the penguin and falcone. i’ve seen rumors that hush may be the central villain in the sequel? which would not be my first choice, but i’m also not mad at it

obviously (hopefully) if they’re doing dick they’ll include tony zucco but beyond him what would be your dream villain(s) appearance? (and who would you cast! if you have one in mind)

if i had full creative control via magic wand i think there’s only one right answer — an actual batman film where two face is the primary antagonist.

hush super sucks for a lot of reasons, not least because his whole shtick only works if a) tommy elliot is well established in canon prior to faking his death and b) bruce has the sufficient pool of allies to make the story beats work. the batman canon has neither. cringe. get him outta here.

unlike a lot of gotham rogues, harvey dent has a relationship with both batman and bruce wayne. he’s a literal symbol of what bruce is trying to achieve in costume. he represents how a lack of supportive infrastructure can harm anyone, even those trying to do good. his internal morality, his desperate desire for control when he lost everything by another’s actions, is a really really good foil to the batman mythos.

i also think he’d continue the riddlers ideology from the first film — here’s someone who does want to change things for the better, and loses literally everything by doing so. harvey in general is just a really interesting character who’s never gotten proper respect on screen, and i think that’s a shame!! he’s a really fascinating dude!! his relationship with bruce as a civilian might inspire bruce to develop his public persona. so many options!

in an ideal world, dick grayson would feature in the first half of the film, then two face in the second. you’d have to ignore long halloween + dark victory canon to make this work, but that’s fine. maybe harvey would be disfigured while in court with zucco — a fun connection to the acid that snapped the graysons lines. harvey also has an interesting history with robin, and this would be a great start to that too.

idk who id pick to cast — someone who could portray harveys trauma in a way that’s engaging rather than disrespectful. if colin farrell hadn’t already played the penguin id say he’d be a pretty good choice. michael b jordan or daniel kaluuya would also do a phenomenal job, and keep him around the same age as bruce. someone very charismatic and charming. as long as it isn’t jacob elordi or tom holland i think there’s a lot of potential

let bruce have tender moments with gothams district attorney and adopt an orphan!!! that’s all i want!!