so I’ve seen lots of fics about Bruce coming back and finding out things like Tim loosing his spleen or Damian getting shot (on multiple occasions by different people) and he almost always finds out by either having dug into the Batcomputers records and stumbling across it or just seeing it on scans or something after Tim or Damian is injured
but imagine for a moment Bruce finds out, not on his own, but by the others telling him.
And by “tell him” I of course mean that they all automatically assume that he already knows about all of it(because he’s the worlds greatest detective so obviously they don’t need to say anything) so they never bring it up until they mention it one day in passing and nearly give him a heart attack.
for example:
Bruce: Tim, I need you to come with me to speak with Dr. Thompkins down at the clinic about that new drug that’s been circulating
Tim: Oh, sure thing, just let me grab my mask
[Bruce not saying anything but looking at him confused because Tim is already fully suited up and wearing his domino mask?]:
[Tim, now wearing a surgical face mask]: Ok, I’m ready!
[Bruce just staring at him, waiting for some explanation. He doesn’t get one.]:
Bruce: Tim
Tim: hm?
Bruce: Why are you wearing a face mask..?
Tim: Oh! Well Dr. Thompkins got mad at me last time I came to the clinic without one because there’s a lot of sick people there and I should be more careful since I’m immunocompromised-
[Bruce, immediately cutting him off]: Wait, what?
[Tim, slightly confused]: She got mad at me when I didn’t wear one last time..?
[Bruce, equally confused and growing very concerned]: No, not that. You’re immunocompromised?
[Tim, now completely lost because this is all common knowledge?]: Uh, yeah??
[Bruce, even more concerned]: How??? What do you mean??
[Tim, getting annoyed and rolling his eyes]: Well that’s what they call you when you have no spleen, Bruce.
Bruce: What.
[Tim finally realizing that, just maybe, they skipped a step]: I have no spleen? It got stabbed so Ra’s took it
[Bruce, about to have an aneurysm]: RA’S DID WHAT-
______
Or like him finding out Damian had his entire spine replaced
Bruce: Hey, do you think it’s strange Damian’s so small?
Dick: No?? He’s ten?? Ten year olds are small?
[Bruce, audibly concerned]: No, I mean don’t you think he should have grown some by now? Is he not eating enough?
[Dick, immediately relaxing]: Oh, that? Yeah, it’s fine
[Bruce, still concerned]: Are you sure? I was taller than that at his age
[Dick, waving his hand dismissively]: Nah, he’s fine. I think the spine replacement just stunted his growth a bit
Bruce:…
Dick:..?
[Bruce, near hysterically because all his kids somehow keep losing pieces of their insides and none of them seem bothered by it??]: his wHAT-
____
Dick has to spend the next several hours trying to stop Bruce from making everyone do a mandatory medical examination so he can make sure none of his other kids are missing anything
Dick promises that it was just the two things
Bruce is not reassured
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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.
Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.
Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.
And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.
One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.
The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.
Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.
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dead boy detectives reading list
with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut 👻☠️🔎
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⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)
this is their first appearance!
🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)
1. the children's crusade #1
(2. black orchid annual #1
3. animal man annual #1
4. swamp thing annual #7
5. doom patrol annual #2
6. arcana annual #1)
7. the children's crusade #2
alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter
!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.
❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)
this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19
🐦⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)
i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.
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(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)
☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)
this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style
👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)
these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.
🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)
this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023
🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)
the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love
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and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!
i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer
have fun reading! 👻
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