#you know this is an au because the dick in my main series never calls bruce dad lol

[duckytree]

big brother part 7

[goodday-goodmorn]

Rahhhh it’s Christmas and i’m back! Today’s feature (feature? Should i start calling them that? Sounds kinda cool-) is the amazing @charliemwrites, specifically a little drabble (unedited as always), based off of their Keeper/Kept AU. Not thier most recent stuff- (I think it’s Neighbor Johnny or the Woof Woof series-) You know what? Just- Here. Everything they write is gold <3

Anyhow, i present: Domesticity and Devotion

“Oh to be a wild bird…”

You sigh, chin in your palm as you leisurely stare out at the window.

“Or a stray cat.” You muse, watching as one of the kitties of the neighborhood walks along outside.

“Those fuckers have it good. No shitty job. No rent to pay. Just free pets and wandering the world… and if someone’s being a dick they can hiss and bite all they want.”

You hum, reaching for your drink and sipping on it leisurely.

“I don’t think I could survive in the wild though.”

You say after a moment, realizing how you’re cuddled up in your blanket and sipping on your wendy’s lemonade, the TV playing some random comfort show and your laptop open as you halfheartedly play Papa's freezeria.

“Can barley survive in domesticity.” You mumble, glancing towards the envelope on the kitchen counter that you got this morning about a rent increase.

You sigh.

“Maybe in my next life i’ll be lucky enough to be reborn as some rich white ladies cat. Those fuckers are livin’ better than me that’s for sure.”

————

This is not what you meant.

When you wistfully wished to never have to step foot into the capitalist hellscape that was life again- that was not an open invitation for you to be whisked away against your will.

Apparently though, the 6 foot giant of a military man named Simion Riley, heard it as one.

Because now here you were, pampered and cared for like a bloody sugar baby or pure breed persian cat. Kept at some random location and fed and groomed and meticulously attended too.

All against your will, mind you.

However it’s hard to complain because well- you’re living life good. This realization, of just how good you have it- hits you when you feel yourself getting genuinely angry at the shitty romance novel you were reading.

The Male lead was treating the MC like shit- and the MC was letting him get away with it!

You feel your face physically grimace. To calm yourself down (because you are getting genuinely heated when she lets him shove her to the damn floor over asking him for a drink-), you set your i-pad down.

(It had been a gift; something sort of like a kindle, where you could only read books and listen to music. You weren’t sure what Simon did to it exactly- but it wasn’t just published books you had access too, comics, original works, poetry, you could get all sorts of reading stuff on here.)

“This mother fucker-“

You mumble to yourself in disbelief, shaking your head before huffing and picking the device back up. You’re close to cheering as you read the MC’s internal dialogue about wanting to bite his ass- (Truely an MC after your own heart- they were one of the main reasons you were still reading this shitshow-)

And yet, what does the main character do?

They get the drink for themselves and then let him snatch it from their hand and down it.

Nope. You’re fucking done. You’re fumin’ now, irrationally angry on the MC’s behalf because they’ve been putting up with this guy for fifteen chapters now.

The audacity of men- oh my god. You can’t believe this guy.

“Who does he think he is?!”

You grumble and then just for your own purposes you yell—

“Simon!”

Predictably he is at your side in a moment, dropping everything for you.

You have your arms crossed, as you say, “Go get me a drink.”

He tilts his head slightly, eyes crinkled just a tad at your strange mood but doesn’t deny the order. Simply asks,

“Cold or hot?”

“Cold.”

And with that he’s gone, returning with a fresh glass of ice cold lemonade, complete with a little lemon slice on the rim of the glass. You sip it, set it aside and cross your leg, tapping your forehead.

“Give me a kiss.”

He doesn’t hesitate for a moment, gently kissing your forehead.

“Kneel.”

His eyes are crinkled now with a bit of amusement, but he drops to his knees easy. Gently holding onto your soft thighs. (Always so gentle with you.)

“Course, pretty.”

He mumbles low, head tilted up to you in a question, “Need me to take care of you?”

You hum, absentmindedly messing with his hair and ignoring the way the question sends a slow pool of warmth into your tummy.

“No.”

It’s decisive. You’re practically preening with satisfaction at his actions.

“You can go now.” You say and like that, he gets up. Not a complaint on his lips even when you notice he’s got a raging boner.

“Wait!”

You call and he pauses, looking at you with a questioning hum.

“Kiss me again.”

And he does so, this time a soft gentle kiss on your lips. When he pulls away he mumbles an ever softer-

“Dinner will be ready in 10.”

You nod and pick up your tablet with satisfaction curling low in your gut. (For the duration of your reading all you can think about is how Simion would never.)

————

“And another thing-!”

Simion is absentmindedly (as absentmindedly as Simion of all people can get anyway-) rubbing circles into your back as you rant. You’re sat in his lap, coaxed into sitting there after he asked about your day.

So obviously you started to babble about the book you were reading, which turned into a whole rant session about how stupid the Male lead was.

“That stupid idiot- that moron- you wanna know what he does simion?”

He knows it’s a rhetorical question. You’re gonna tell him anyway. Still he hums to show he’s still listening.

“This bastard shoves them into the ground. To the ground! Can you believe the it?”

He shakes his head lightly with a tsk.

“Exactly. God and then when they get the drink he has the audacity to snatch it from their hand and down it in one gulp before they can even say anything.”

You shake your head, so far into your little rant you don’t realize how much you’ve made yourself comfortable. Sitting in his lap fully, ranting to him like he’s an old friend. Your tongue is loose with comfort right now. And that must be what possessed you to say—

“Me personally? I could never. If you ever pulled that shit— God i don’t even know what i’d do but it would not be pretty

You close your eyes with a nod to yourself at your own words. Not aware of the way Simon’s eyes seem to soften. Not until he gently kisses the top of your head.

“Never.”

He says it so quietly you almost miss it. (Feverintly. Reverently. Like the very idea is absurd.)

“If i ever do something like that you run and break into my gun cabinet and bloody shoot me.”

And god his voice- he’s 100 percent fucking serious. Suddenly you feel warm and small in his lap, utterly tiny compared to the sheer size of his devotion for you.

It’s all you can do to mumble out a weak.

“Good.”

And the rest of the night is spent with you reading the rest of the book together. When the MC finally is able to get rid of the Male Lead, it is a joyous occasion that ends up with her absolutely clocking the guy in the face with a champagne glass. Which then leads into a curious conversation with you and ghost about how much damage that would actually do.

It’s a good day.

[waynes-multiverse]

Plastic Hearts – Part 1

Pairing: Director!Dean Winchester x Actress!Reader

Series Summary: Los Angeles, 1985. Y/N’s a young actress without any success, hopping from one failed audition to the next until one desperate mistake brings her to her breaking point. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, is a grade A asshole and washed-up director at the end of his career, known for his godawful slasher movies in the 70s and his love for blow, booze, and women. Lost in the toxic Hollywood life, their paths cross when one hopeless little wrestling show changes their trajectory.

Chapter Warnings: +18, GLOW AU, self-worth issues, implied smut (reader x unknown dude 🤷‍♀️), cheating, Sam and Dean are not related in this story (--> check the series masterlist for overall warnings!)

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Truthfully, I wasn’t gonna share it because it was just a fun, silly project to get over some writer’s block (which I did!). Netflix never gave me an ending to this amazing show, so I wanted to write my own, y’know? But hey, it’s already written, so why not share it with the class, right? As my awesome cheerleader on this project @panicking-outside-the-disco said, the dilaogue screams Dean AU 🖤 (Thank you so much for your encouragement, bestie!) Fellow fans of the show, you’ll be happy to know I kept all the good stuff in there, from Steel Horse to pink, frosted donuts. Everyone else will make sense of those words soon enough. So, hopefully, you’ll enjoy this nostalgic love tribute, and let’s give ourselves a decent ending, shall we? 🤩

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

1. Holding Out For A Hero

Another failed audition.

Moving from Nebraska to Los Angeles at the sweet age of eighteen, Y/N has played the Hollywood game for quite some time. Now, at the ripe age of twenty-seven by La-La Land standards, she only has little to show for herself, though. She’s had a few background roles and starred in a handful of low-budget plays, but her big breakthrough, the role that changes everything, still remains a hopeless and seemingly unreachable daydream.

Worst of all, she is sick and tired of the simple and reduced roles Hollywood forces upon its actresses. She wants more than the shitty role of the secretary who tells a powerful man his wife is on the phone. Y/N wants a real part instead of playing second fiddle to yet another pompous dick.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

After her latest failure, she even became so desperate she hid in a bathroom stall for three hours before ambushing her casting director Josie while the poor woman was fucking peeing. But instead of the customary, unexplained rejection, Y/N wanted to hear reasons this time. She wanted to find out why she always gets pushed over for someone else, wanted to know if she could do something better, for crying out loud.

Usually, it’s the agent’s job to tell an actor all the reasons why they were wrong for the role, but she doesn’t even have an agent anymore because, as it bitterly turns out, everyone stops fucking caring about you if you haven’t worked in over two years. For once, though, she wanted some goddamn feedback.

The casting director’s response?

“Look Y/N, every director I work with says, ‘Get me someone I don’t know. Someone I haven’t seen. I want a girl who’s real.’ That’s when I bring you in, so they can see that they don’t actually want the thing they think they want. It’s 1985. Everyone wants Jane fucking Fonda. I’m sorry, honey… But listen, I have some experimental projects in the Valley, if you’re interested. Would you consider doing erotica?”

So, fucking porn. That’s where she’s at with her life.

Defeatedly, Y/N leaves the casting office in West Hollywood once more and gets swallowed by the city’s filth, lost between hellfire and demons. No matter what she does, she never feels like it’s enough. Each audition, you throw yourself against the wall and hope, this time, it’ll stick. It’s an endless game, a gamble of hope – hope isn’t an infinite resource, though, and hers is running out.

Y/N likes getting tortured. That’s the conclusion she’s come to. And because she seems to thrive on torment, she joins her best friend Joanna for a Jazzercise class – aka a room full of toned women in leotards, sweatbands, and leg warmers. The two friends have known each other since middle school and have done everything together since then, including their move to the big city. Joanna is a blonde bombshell who immediately got a role on a popular soap until she quit acting and had a baby a couple of months ago. Now, she’s a housewife and mother in Pasadena while her husband brings home the money.

Y/N loves Joanna, but admittedly, the blonde sometimes makes her feel small and insecure. She doesn’t have the big tits, the perfect curves, or the shiny hair. Jo has always been more successful than her in every aspect of their respective lives, the friendly competition leaving Y/N, more often than not, with a bad aftertaste in her mouth. She constantly tries to keep her envy in check, though, even when the blonde’s boobs exploded during their freshman year of high school. Simply put: Joanna is a sparkling diamond, while Y/N feels like a dirty lump of coal next to her.

The cheer captain versus the theater geek.

“You know, I’d actually do porn if it had a good story. Like, Shakespeare porn,” Y/N half-heartedly jokes as the women change in the locker room after their class.

Jo arches an eyebrow at her, the smile on her lips a bit condescending. “C’mon, Y/N, would you actually do porn, though? You hate being naked in front of people.”

“Things have changed since you disappeared,” Y/N shrugs her shoulders, her voice laced with rebellion, and purposely changes out of her leotard in front of her friend to drive the point home. She also tries not to sound too bitter about the fact that the blonde basically abandoned her after getting married and pushing a human out of her vagina. She knows her jealousy is silly. It’s just part of life. That’s how it goes. It wasn’t always going to be them vs. the world forever.

“I didn’t disappear. I had a baby,” Jo retorts on cue before her face lights up with an insane amount of excitement. “Which you could too! Then we’d both have babies.”

“Great idea,” Y/N snorts sarcastically and slips into her sneakers, playfully musing, “Who of the guys I randomly fuck would make a good baby daddy, huh? The alcoholic I met at the farmer’s market or the depressed stand-up with a heroin addiction?”

Jo sits down on the bench next to her and conspiratorially leans closer. “Can I tell you something that I realized recently?”

Y/N gives her a raised look that borders on amused. “What?”

The blonde has been a bit of a postpartum mess these days. It’s the lack of sleep and the fact that her boobs won’t stop leaking. Also, her kid is a biter.

“When I first was cast on Paradise Bay, I was thrilled, okay? I mean, it was so exciting, remember? And then they put me in that year-long coma, and I was just lying there in this hospital bed, feeling powerless. And then when season three came, and they graduated me to that wheelchair with that blanket–”

“I’m sorry… Is this going somewhere?” Y/N interrupts her because the last thing she needs to hear today is another one of Joanna’s success stories.

“I’m getting there,” Jo frowns and continues straightaway, “Anyways, I was so relieved when Sam asked me to marry him and told me to stop working. He was right. It was completely ridiculous. Why would I do this to myself, you know? I swear to God getting pregnant and written off that show was the best decision I ever made,” she tells her enthusiastically.

Y/N just twitches her shoulders and ignores the guilt that’s bubbling in her gut. “Well, we’re different people. I choose work. I can have a baby once I win an Oscar.”

Jo lets out a deep sigh, “But you’re not even working, Y/N. Don’t you wanna be happy and have a family?”

“Of course I do.” Y/N’s not sure that answer is the whole truth. She knows she’s supposed to want the supportive husband, the cute kids, and the white picket fence, but all those things come with the end of your career. She’s not ready to give up and pay that price yet. She wants to make it on her own first, not needing a hero to save her like some damsel in distress. “‘Sides, don’t I need a boyfriend for starters? Isn’t that how it works?”

“Oh, it’s not that complicated,” Jo huffs and rolls her eyes dismissively. “Just pick the first nice guy with money you find. It’s what I did. I mean, Sam is a complete idiot and so out of my league, but it works,” she shrugs. “Why don’t you come visit me in Pasadena sometimes if you miss me so much? I called you like a million times in the last few weeks.”

“I know,” Y/N groans in response and finishes buttoning her blouse, swallowing the giant lump of shame in her throat. “It’s so far away,” she excuses, even though it’s another white lie. A big one, this time.

Jo tilts her head at her, but Y/N knows the wrinkles on the blonde’s brow are not out of concern. It’s pity. She’s seen that look all her life. “Y/N, are you okay? ‘Cause you look sad and fucking depressing, honestly.”

“Thanks. But I’m fine,” she brushes her friend off with a bitter smile. “Just the usual, you know? I have $28 left to pay my bills, including rent, which is why I’ve been waitressing at that awful diner in Downey all week… Oh, and, uhm, I’ve eaten Honey Nut Cheerios for my last eight meals,” she lists off her miserable life and grabs her duffel bag, feigning the brightest grin, “But hey, I’m gonna do porn. Things are looking up.”

It’s late at night when Y/N returns to her rundown shoebox apartment. Her decorations include one dead plant and two ripped posters of Angela Lansbury and Barbra Streisand, respectively. It’s a sad affair, really.

Completely beat, she checks her fridge, which resembles an empty ice cave, except for that half-full box of cheap wine. Yeah, she can’t even afford to get drunk properly. The old mattress squeaks as she falls face-down on the bed and exhaustively snatches the rotary dial phone from her nightstand, only reaching her parents’ answering machine.

“Hey, Mom. It’s Y/N. I didn’t get the audition today either, but I’ll get another one soon. So, fingers crossed… again. But I was just wondering if you and Dad could maybe wire me some money? You know, just so I can pay my electricity bill and… eat food. I’m really sorry… I know I can’t keep asking you guys for money because I’m a grown-up now… but I swear it’s the last time, okay? And I’m aware I said that the last time, too… Anyways, love you. Call me back, please? Okay, thanks… Bye.”

Slamming the receiver onto the phone, she groans loudly and is close to screaming into her goddamn pillow. When did she become such a pathetic fucking loser?

Needless to say, she imagined her life would go a lot differently.

In the midst of her nervous breakdown, her ears then perk up at a strange noise, eyes darting warily to the window. There’s an audible jam of the lock, followed by the rustling of the yellowed blinds before a large hand pops through the crack.

Shit. Someone’s trying to break in.

Anxiously, she grabs the phone and holds it up like a weapon, her heart thrashing wildly in her ribcage, the sound ringing in her ears. Then, she bravely yells with a shaky voice, “Whoever you are, I have a knife in my hand and already called the cops!”

“Whoa, whoa… Y/N, it’s just me.” A young man’s head pokes through the window, raising his large palms with a chuckle.

Her shoulders slump, the tension of fear replaced with one of annoyance as she sighs half-heartedly in relief, recognizing the intruder. Y/N lowers her makeshift weapon, tossing it on the bed. “Oh my God! What the fuck are you doing here? Why are you climbing through my window? You can’t be here! Climb back out – now!”

“You said the last time that no one can find out about us, so I took that seriously,” he explains as he gaspingly pushes his tall body through the small opening. “Can’t you just be happy to see me, Y/N? It took some effort to come here and climb through that window, you know?” A charming laugh bounces off the thin, bare walls once he’s made it into her apartment and towers over her.

Y/N folds her arms over her chest and cocks an eyebrow, “You want credit for cheating on your wife?”

He sighs and rolls his eyes back a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can we please not call it that?”

“What would you like me to call it? You’re married to someone and had sex with me,” she counters sternly. She absolutely doesn’t want him here. That man is only trouble and part of the reason why her life is so fucking shitty these days.

“Look, this isn’t normal behavior for me,” he shrugs innocently as if the madness can’t be helped and adds the softest puppy dog look. “I just-, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“So?! It was a huge fucking mistake!” There’s a sharp inhale of breath as she tries to gulp down the anger, guilt, and shame inside of her. “It happened weeks ago! You shouldn’t be here… It was a party. The drinks were free… I-I was feeling sorry for myself, and you took advantage of that.”

Quietly clearing his throat, he mumbles under his breath, “I think we both took advantage of that.” As he meets her gaze, his whiskey-colored orbs mirror the same guilt she feels.

Y/N places her hands on her hips with a deep exhale, her head bobbing as the words sink in and her head begins to spin. She knows he’s right. They’re both equally to blame, but it doesn’t change anything about her regrets. “Please leave. Go home to your family,” she begs him softly, too soft, not enough strength left to fight.

“You can’t just pull the plug on this. You and me. This is real,” he tells her, his hazel eyes boring into hers. “I think you’re the one, Y/N.”

“No, I’m not,” she stresses with a heavy shake of her head, fighting against the tears that prick her eyes and cloud her mind. “I’m nothing special.”

Pensively, he nods and licks his lips, a humorless chuckle escaping between them as he rubs his mouth and ponders, “I keep thinking about what you said to me that night… You know, how there are shiny people who have everything? And then there are people like us who have to go to parties with those people and watch them get their pictures taken. And it’s not fair... ‘Cause we deserve good things, too. We deserve attention and love and… sex.”

Silently staring at him for what feels like an eternity, her mind races a mile a minute as her heart shatters into a thousand sharp daggers that pierce through her skin and leave deep scars in their wake. And then, Y/N foolishly crashes her lips against his just to stop the goddamn pain in her chest.

What is there to say that even justifies any of this? She’s fucking weak.

The harsh sunbeams that fall on her face and blind her eyes announce another dreadful morning as she wakes with a pessimistic groan. The bed is cold and empty; the married guy is long gone, leaving right after the fuck.

Y/N is alone again – with nowhere to go.

Why did she do what she did? In all honesty, she can’t quite understand it herself, the truth too cruel and pathetic to accept it. The only positive thing she can find about her situation is that at least she can’t sink any lower than rock bottom. She’s certain she’s reached the depths of Hell at this point. Los Angeles mistakenly gets called the city of angels. Truthfully, though, it’s filled with devils who lure you to the dark side until you can’t even look in the mirror anymore without seeing a white line instead of your own goddamn reflection.

The funny thing, though? She’s never even been into drugs or booze or whatever bad habit you can catch in this city, like an STD. She has always worked her ass off and walked the straight and narrow. And for fucking what?

Y/N is definitely at her lowest of lows, but that also means there’s nowhere to go but up, right? And when the red light on her answering machine keeps blinking, her hope and good spirit return as she eagerly presses the button, restarting the endless cycle once more.  

“Y/N, this is Josie. I have an audition for you tomorrow. I’m not running it, but I thought of you. It’s in Watts. And it’s not porn... They’re looking for unconventional women, whatever the fuck that means… Oh, and uhm, if you ever ambush me in the restroom again, I’ll make sure you’re gonna be blacklisted on every casting call in Los Angeles. Are we clear? Anyways, good luck, honey!”

A loud scream echoes through the tiny apartment. Y/N can’t believe her fucking ears and jumps excitedly up and down when Josie’s message ends, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks.

The game is back on – and it’s not fucking porn.

2. Livin’ On A Prayer

Yikes! I think it’s fairly easy to guess who this mystery guy is, but let me know all your suspicions and gasps, anyways! 😉 And don’t worry. You’re getting plenty of Dean tomorrow (some would say too much Dean) 😎😈

Everything Jensen (1st part tag only): @extraterrestriali @this-is-me19 @writercole @awkward-and-indecisive @eevvvaa @imherefordeanandbones @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @jassackles @maggiegirl17 @perpetualabsurdity @deandreamernp @roseblue373 @lyarr24 @deanwanddamons @deanwithscissors @flamencodiva @chriszgirl92 @lhymer1995 @wittyboldsoul @djs8891 @snowlovespie​ @b3autyfuldisast3r​ @recoveringpastaaddict​ @muhahaha303​

Plastic Hearts Series: @spnexploration @jessjad @siospins2 @mrsjenniferwinchester @akshi8278 @xlynnbbyx @wayward-dreamer @foxyjwls007 @smellingofpoetry @justrealizedimmascifygurl @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @4getfulimaginator2022 @globetrotter28​

[vacantgodling]

please feel free to share anything you'd like about hyacinthus - don't know much about him but I'm kinda obsessed with him

(also I'm sorry if things have been rough)

oh thank you for coming to my talk about my favorite terrible man talk :) he’s one of if not the most favorite oc i’ve ever made and the main character in my first book of the fall of galeré quad (or quintet? perhaps? the fifth book is still up in the air of whether or not i’ll make it exist) and my magnum opus paramour which you can read more about here -> teehee

so dis him

prettiest man in the world 😌💅🏽 (i drew all of these btw lmao)

he’s the bastard son of a businessman who ends up getting married to an eldrich entity, cheats on said entity with his butler and learns how to Care About People which is something he did not know how to do LMAO

he’s an asshole. by like. a lot. he’s crass (esp bc paramour is set in a fantastical 1890s-1900s adjacent steampunk world), he’s rude, he’s vain, he doesn’t care about other people as far as he can throw him (and he can throw them pretty far), and he’s so fucking emotionally constipated. He’s SOOOOO emotionally constipated. much of his character and behavior has been influenced by the circumstances of his upbringing—first neglected by both his father and his servants and never allowed to leave the estate he was cooped up in for fear of bringing shame to the family name by merely existing (and suffering many abuses within), then under the thumb of his conniving elder sibling tagetes who’s like a secondary antagonist and subject of the fourth book in the quad empire. he doesn’t trust people because he’s always been used and shit on. so he treats others in kind and never lets anyone close.

this backfires somewhat when he meets his butler amon who’s got so many issues and one of them being INTO hya’s asshole attitude and they start a sexual relationship which is wild bc why talk about feelings when you can call me my lord and choke on my dick ya feel.

hya’s also gnc (he only uses he/him and he doesn’t identify as being feminine or womanly but he does love to and does wear dresses and fashion that we would consider feminine). this is bc in galeré there’s 3 gender categories basically. there’s male, female, and a third one that i have yet to name. but it’s basically for all those we’d consider trans/nb/gnc/cross dressers/the like. hya falls into this category as well as other characters like tagetes, erecia (who’s butch basically) and rumex, etc.

aside from shopping his favorite hobbies are being left alone and reading. he’s very good with money and math and can balance a budget like no one’s business. he doesn’t care for religion at all (only sparing slight interest for his younger half brother aloe who’s deeply religious) and is generally pessimistic. his favorite drink is coffee specifically a fantasy blend in his world called misted ivory geisha. he only wears white and gold clothing as personal preference but he looks good in all colors (his wedding dress was red actually) and speaking of — he didn’t know his mother but he looks EXACTLY like her. (i’m overly fond of his mother but she won’t appear in canon; only in aus and in the series set in this same universe, alizath lol)

oh he’s also a taurus sun with a leo rising (cuz i like astrology and shit lol). he doesn’t like celebrating his birthday so he never shares the date but it’s also because his birthday takes place in the middle of the largest religious festival in galeré and that’s even more annoying to deal with lmao.

why he’s my favorite is for a variety of reasons but it also has to do with the fact that i want to be him and i want to fuck him lmao he’s the best of both worlds :)

[perenial]

you're one of the few i trust in the it fandom so. can you give some of your fav reddie fic recs pretty please??

okay. so,

this wouldn't be a gene perenial neé eurythmix rec list if i didn't hype up my main bitch cait @hyruling and a few of her stunning fics:

footprints in the snow | rated: e, wc: 62k

Eddie meets comedian and rising star Richie Tozier at a comedy club, and his life is promptly turned upside down. His Twitter followers jump from 80 to 80,000 overnight, he's being photographed in the subway, and the dreams that have plagued him his entire life are becoming increasingly specific and haunting. Richie feels strangely like the home he's long forgotten, and falling into friendship with him is the easiest thing he's ever done. But the closer they get, the clearer it becomes that Richie is hiding something.

we've been here before | rated: e, wc: 71k

Richie starts seeing Eddie everywhere after Derry. He's obviously hallucinating, until he isn't.

call my bluff, call you babe | rated: e, wc: 29k

"Why can’t I ask Bill?” 

“Because— he’s basically a celebrity too. That’s just. It’s already weird enough to people that you two even know each other, pretending to be romantically involved is just opening up a whole can of worms. I’m outside.”

“‘Romantically involved’, when did you start writing for The Sun, Eds,” Richie teases with a chuckle, just as Eddie reaches the final turn down Richie’s hallway. “That doesn’t really… I mean, people know we were friends when we were kids, so—”

“Just pretend to be my date,” Eddie says, and—

And nearly throws his phone into the fucking wall.

/

it also wouldn't be a rec list by me if i didn't talk about the incomparable mars @playedwright​ who totally changed the game with this little number:

let me name the stars for you | rated: m, wc: 58k

“So. To summarize. I’m stranded on Mars, entirely alone. I have absolutely no way to communicate with my crew or with earth, since our communications antennae turned me into a human shish-kabob. If the oxygenator becomes compromised, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer stops working, I’ll dehydrate. Breach in the Hab means I’ll go poof. And if, for some god-forsaken reason none of those things kill me first, I’m gonna run out of food and starve to death. Oh, and we can’t forget that everyone I know thinks I’m dead. So… yup. Totally fucked.”

*

On Sol 6, an unexpected windstorm cuts the Ares III Mission short and six astronauts retreat back to Earth.

On Sol 7, the astronaut they left behind wakes up gasping for air.

(Or, The Martian au)

[part one of a series that will genuinely change ur life]

i was going to list all my other fave mars fics but im gonna be honest they all blow my dick clean off so just. read everything they’ve written, capiche?

/

misc fics that make me feel like wailing and screaming and crying etc etc:

in the heat of the summer (you’re so different from the rest) | rated: e, wc: 109k

 There’s a heatwave in L.A., the first time Richie sees Eddie naked.

  or

  One very hot year in the life of two idiots in love, working shit out.

[gene notes: so like. @skinks​ is an icon and i’ve yet to read anything, fic or original work, that captures atmosphere as well as joe does with this absolute behemoth. and i can GUARANTEE u’ll never read a hornier piece of writing. what a legend]

/

the more light series | rated: t, combined wc: 34k

When Mike calls from Derry, Patty answers the phone instead.

[gene notes: @theparadigmshifts​ my bestie @theparadigmshifts​!! be sure to read their other IT fics too, there’s some fab hanbrough & stanpat in there]

/

trashmouth for sale, gently used | rated: e, wc: 19k

“Richie is an award winning comedian and voice actor, originally from Derry, Maine. He’s a six-foot-two Pisces, and in case dinner goes very badly- CPR certified,” the auctioneer recites joylessly, while Richie is in stitches at her side. “Richie enjoys long walks on the beach, 1-800 number jingles, and debating the civil rights of robots. You can select any venue in New York for your dinner, but Richie says he especially enjoys Thai food and frozen custard and describes himself as a bottomless pit-”

Richie taps the auctioneer's shoulder and leans into the mic. “That’s a typo. That should say just ‘bottom’.”

   -

While Richie gets roped into a bachelor auction, Eddie struggles with his own worth.

[gene notes: holy shit i just found out this is the same @stitchyblogs​ who wrote a bunch of ofmd fics i love?? and they have more IT stuff i haven’t read??? AND their art is spectacular????]

/

the stupid deep series | rated: e, combined wc: 66k

Richie has a big dick, and Eddie is into it.

[gene notes: this anon writes p/orn like no one else and their characterisation is spot on to boot, what more could u want]

/

broken record | rated: e, wc: 55k

The house on Neibolt was standing again.

Bill was talking about going in alone. How?

“So does somebody want to say something?” Eddie asked, still breathing, still fucking breathing and alive and not dripping his Goddamn organs out of his chest.

“Richie said it the b-best when we were here last,” Bill said.

“Holy fuck.”

[gene notes: THEEEE time loop fic of all time. OF ALL TIME. i genuinely cannot overstate how good this fic is – it takes a relatively simple premise and goes places that make u want to start eating drywall. @spunknbite​ is a genius and i’ll be thinking abt this fic for the rest of my life probably]

[bonus spunknbite fic that has nothing to do with broken record but was a gift to me (!!) and i’ll never shut up abt it]

/

five things to do in derry when you’re dead | rated: t, wc: 3k

When he opens his eyes, there’s darkness out the window and a hand hovering over his chest.

“You know,” Eddie mutters, squinting up at it. “You could at least buy me dinner first.”

The answer he gets is an odd, choked noise. It’s halfway between a laugh and a sob.

*

Something dies. Something grows. The universe tries to keep itself balanced.

[gene notes: no joke, this is the fic that got me into the fandom]

/

the quickest way to a man’s heart series | rated: t & e, combined wc: 16k

"Are you... allowed to do that?"

The guy's forehead turns into a mess of wrinkles as he raises his eyebrows and gives a little bark of a laugh.  Richie recognizes him just as the guy says "Dude, it's my fucking restaurant."

[gene notes: CHEF EDDIE CHEF EDDIE CHEF EDDIE CHEF EDDIE]

/

slow down, you crazy child | rated: t, wc: 20k

Richie looks down at his own body and like the bed and the bedroom before it, he doesn’t recognize what he sees.

A broken sound escapes his lips and he slaps his hand to his mouth. Then he pulls his hand away, looks at it again, and slaps it back in place before his mouth gets any smart ideas.

“What the fuck,” he says against his not-hand.

(A 13 Going on 30 AU, sort of.)

[gene notes: have i mentioned how much i love time travel stories recently. bc it’s A Lot]

/

now what i’m gonna say may sound indelicate | rated: e, wc: 374k

Eddie Kaspbrak has lived his whole life being told that he's delicate, and he's not. And nearly bleeding out in an alien fear demon's lair has helped him realize that--as well as what he can live through. It puts his priorities in some perspective.

What he is, is injured. And married. To like, a woman. And gay. And stupidly, stupidly in love with Richie Tozier, after all these years. And he'd like to use his new lease on life to act on many of these things, if only Richie would cooperate.

[gene notes: okay so this one is a wip and i haven’t even finished reading what’s been posted (see: 374k word count) but i HAD to rec it bc it’s one of the best post-chap 2 fics i’ve read – the characterisation is stellar, the story is painfully real, and the writing is just?? so good??? man i’ve gotta read this author’s other stuff im in love]

/

there are SO many other fics out there that im sure i’ve forgotten (+ i haven’t been actively looking for reddie stuff since like.....mid 2020) so this isn’t the most comprehensive rec list out there but!! these are the ones that have rly stood out to me over the years and i hope u find something in this mess u’ll enjoy 💕

[redjaybathood]

For the ship ask game.

BruJay, SladeJay, CassJay

Wow, that's a lot to think about, thanks!

Brujay: more like ship it rather than not.

What made you ship it?

Bruce takes a central part in Jason's story and vice versa.

My relationship with this ship is pretty complicated. I love to explore it, both in writing and reading. Trauma, codependency, obsession, abuse, unrequited (not necessarily romantic) feelings, on one hand. Fate, going through hell and high water together, being closer than anyone in the world, trying to make the world a better place together, saving each other literally and metaphorically, on another.

When I'm writing, it's mostly the first, when I'm reading, it's mostly the second. It's a good vessel for both types of stories.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Tragic, doomed feeling of it all.

I love melodrama, what can I say.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Honestly, they would have been happier never met each other. In canon, I want them to stay away from each other, and in a good part of fics too. If it makes sense, it's also my notp.

SladeJay: I'm on the fence, honestly! I know quite a few great stories about them, and I see the appeal, and I don't even hate Slade as I did previously, when I just started reading comics.

So:

Why don’t you ship it?

Because I actually got introduced to Slade far earlier than Jason. It was Teen Titans, and I just hated him there, and I hated what happened to Tara, and then I started reading (about) comics and things were even worse for her there.

I did get over my hatred towards Slade, mainly thanks to Romiress fic series where Slade adopts Jason. But, I dunno. In my consciousness, Slade is primarily focused on Dick so that's the biggest obstacle for me.

What would have made you like it?

There's not much I would like to explore between them, and most of it would be gen with mostly antagonistic relationship. Like, how thoroughly Slade fucked up his kids - while Jason knew at least two of them, Joey and Rose, and his story somewhat calls out to Grant's. Or that time when Jason was trying to take over Gotham and Slade was working for organization backing Roman Sionis. Or maybe their mutual ties to the League and Talia.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

One of the best fics in DC fandom I've read was them. And overall, I do get why people consider it hot.

CassJay: don't ship it

Why don’t you ship it?

It's hard to me imagining them working together, much less having something more. It would have been an AU only. And it's not really that much compelling. Their main conflict is to kill or not to kill and they both lose.

What would have made you like it?

If they had more interaction in canon, maybe a team up, we could see how it went. As for now...

I can see a scenario where Cass maybe could get a fleeting crush on him, like with Black Wind, and Jason being Jason, he would either completely be oblivious to it. Or, worse, he would have fallen so hard, when Cass took him down and his target - a disgusting rich oligarch trading child slaves or something - got away because of her... It would break his heart, simple as that.

Or maybe after Stephanie choosing not to kill and dying for it, if you put Cass vs Jason in the UtRH... Also a lot of heartbreak but maybe also character growth.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

They would have made a BAMF team.

[ac3id]

Plaything | 18+

plaything 0/ ?? | part 1

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 0: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation.

summary: by luck, you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt, and powerful brats who just seem to hate you, and among them, a certain red-eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 0: you reject bakugou’s proposal to fuck in the dirty boys' washroom so he teaches you a lesson.

— navigation

wordcount. 2k+

a/n: hello !! so this is like a little introduction to my yandere! bully! bakugou series fic. there’s also going to a lot of other bnha character mentions but the main pairing will be w/ baku n reader. enjoy!

“bakugou, i don’t want to do this,” your voice is weak as you bite on your lower lip, trying to stop sinful moans from leaking out of your mouth. bakugo has you bent over the cold and wet sink counter, your chest pressed against the dirty marble while your skirt is flipped over your displaying your bare, perky round ass to his stalking eyes. “who are you calling bakugo?” he spanks your ass with force, making you lose your footing as your head bumps lightly against the mirror.

“sorry, master,” you answer barely above a whisper but it’s loud enough in the empty washroom for him to hear yet he makes you repeat yourself,

“what was that, brat? i couldn’t fucking hear you.” he spanks you again, his heavy hand coming in contact with your soft ass with ferocity sending you flying off your feet.

“i am sorry, master!” you exclaim a little loudly, hoping it would satisfy him. and it does. he scoffs crudely, ghosting his fingers over your pussy lips before dipping his large fingers between them and petting your dry hole. he plays with your cunt, stroking his fingers lovingly over your little pearl, gathering wetness as he slips one finger into your hole. pumping them in and out at a slow pace. he takes his time, building up your orgasm while laughing wickedly as you try to hold in your moans. his fingers inside your cunt increase their pace as your juices start dripping down to your thighs,

“you said you don’t want this?” while his right hand destroys your cunt, his other hand wraps around your small neck. grasping it lightly, making it harder for you to breathe. “why are you dripping everywhere like a slut? hm?”

he had pulled you aside from regular classes, declaring them boring as fuck and that he wanted to do something much better like; fucking you in the boys' washroom. you denied, you told him no. you wanted to attend the lesson and besides skipping with him wouldn’t be any good to you. he was not kind to you, he was a meanie. he still insisted; telling you it’s fine, he knows the material. he can just tutor you later. no harm done, see? see?

if there was anything you hated more than being stuck in the prestigious u.a. high where everyone seemed to be out for your blood was spending time with bakugo katsuki. and being with him alone was another nightmare. he hated you. you didn’t know why, he’d never say why. you just assumed it was because of that one time you accidentally spilled coffee on him or maybe it was just because you breathed. honestly, both seemed favorable in this situation.

after many failed attempts of convincing you to come with him, he gets fed up. he pulls out his phone and shoves it into your face. his screen displays pictures of you which he had taken before and the ones which you had sent him. they are all lewd shots. pictures of you sucking him off while looking into the camera with glassy eyes illuminated the screen and as you swiped right it changed to another with the same background, lighting, and angle but the only difference being that your face was now covered with his seed while you posed for the camera with an innocent smile.

a look deeper into his gallery and you find your nudes which bakugo had forced you to take. it was necessary for you to be naked with your tits and ass being visible, he also wanted to see your face and would never settle for anything else. he never settles for anything without your face in it, makes you take those shots again and again until he’s satisfied with the results. he saves them, all of them. even the ‘bad ones' have been screenshotted and saved onto his phone for his personal use. he never tells what he uses them for but you don’t need to hear it from him. you already know he’s jerking off to each one of them every night before he goes to sleep.

it’s funny, anyone could take a look at those pictures and find out they are not photos exchanged between lovers. your expressions- no matter how hard you try, you always end up looking like you want to cry. there’s fear in your eyes and it just doesn’t feel authentic. it looks forced. like someone had put a gun to your head while you sat and took them. and well, that’s not a far-fetched idea.

he promises these are for his eyes only, “no one else gets to you like this. you are mine.” his words exactly but when his friends also start staring at you with lust-ridden eyes, you can’t help but question his words.

he blackmails you into coming with him. threatening he’d leak those pictures all around the school if you didn’t come with him as if he hadn’t already. as if your compromising photos weren’t already saved in all of your classmates’ phones anyway. bakugo should give himself a pat on the back, he’s such a great actor!

“for someone who doesn’t want this,” his demeaning, rude voice pulls you back from the dreamland you were trying to escape to. he forces you nearer to your edge, tiny whimpers leave your lips accompanied with loud moans as his fingers brush deliciously against your sweet spot. your precious cunt greedily pulls him in deeper and deeper, inviting him graciously into your womb but unfortunately, his fingers aren’t that long. but you know what is?

“you sure are dripping like a whore.” with every whimper which leaves your supple lips, bakugo feels himself get harder. his pants tighten as a bulge starts straining against his expensive, pleated bottoms. the hand prettily choking your neck detaches itself leaving you inhaling puffs of air as he works his pants off his hips. as you hear the rattling of his belt coming undone, a loud cry enough to draw attention from others outside of the room leaves your throat.

it catches bakugo off guard but nonetheless helps him get even harder, he likes to make you cry and get off to it. “why are you crying, bitch? it’s not doing you any favors here.” his fingers rub against your swollen, little pearl while lining up his fat cock to your blinking hole. “please, bakugo, don’t. i will do anything, anything else. just not this, i’ve never done this before.” you sound pathetic. your voice breaking with every word you utter. big, fat tears rolling down your cheeks while you ugly cried. bakugo almost feels sorry.

but in all honesty, he really couldn't care less about you. all your whining and crying only incite him further as ruthless ideas to break you down flood his mind. the kindest so far being him taking you right here and now but, but a sudden flash of seeing you utterly broken and in misery flashed before his eyes and he couldn’t let go of it. he wanted to see you tremble much more than you were right now. he wanted to see you cry much more than you were crying right now. Maybe he did hate you, he always pushed you around like you were his little pet of some sort to prove a point- that he is better than you. he is superior, you must respect him. you should kiss the ground he walks on, you should let yourself be his little plaything. then maybe, he’ll let you loose? who knows, he might just get even more obsessed.

as he watches you cry beneath him, your pathetic whimpers reverberating off the marble walls, a wicked idea pops into his head. he pulls his dick away from your exposed hole instead, replacing it with his fingers like before. “fine, brat.” his voice is softer, it surprises you. was he not going to rape you after all? “just because you said anything.” there it is again, the edge in his voice that makes you regret what you said. now, you know he has something worse planned for you. but it’s too late, you can’t go against your word now. you said anything, get ready to do anything. “stop squirming, i’m trying to make you cum. god knows whether you can even do that for yourself.” you most definitely can.

"a bitch like you needs someone to do everything for her.” again, you are probably the most independent student in the whole school,

“am I right, princess?” you are so wrong. “yes, master.”

no matter how crude and humiliating his words were and how much you hated his voice, you still found yourself clenching around his fingers almost ripping them off. your cunt squeezed his digits tightly as the coil building in your stomach tightened. moans of his name echoed all over the room as you felt yourself come closer. bakugo was taking his time playing with you, drawing you out making your release painfully slow as a form of revenge. you begged for him to play with your little clit so you could achieve ecstasy but he was too petty. after minutes of agonizing you to the point, there were tears streaming down your face and drool escaping your lips, falling onto the wet counter. he finally decided to flick his finger against your hardened bud. rubbing tight circles, he played with it aimlessly until he felt the gush of wetness around his fingers and the high-pitched scream which left your mouth as you came. his other hand pumped his still-hard cock. he was still pissed that he wouldn’t be able to cum inside you but it was fine for now. he had something much brutal set up in his mind for his plaything, he was aware that what he was planning might completely destroy but he figured it was worth it. much better to have a mindless slave who lives to fulfill her master’s wishes anyway.

he lets go of you, backing away with his hard cock still out and aching for relief. the huge head blushed red and leaking with pre, too bad he won’t get to finish inside of you yet. you quickly walk away from him, bending forward to search for your discarded panties. bakugo grunts at the sight of your wet pussy presenting itself to him, riling him up even more than he already was. He wastes no time pumping his cock at the sight of your exposed bottom, gasp and groans of pleasure escaping his lips,

“oi, what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, catching you sliding your panties on your legs. you turn around to face him, face burning when you are met with him stroking his cock at your movements. your eyes almost can’t leave the sight of his leaking cock, hard and begging to be played with and as much as you to admit it; it lights a fire inside you.

“stop fucking staring, you’re making it worse,” he growls and you immediately turn your eyes to his face. he smirks, “what? do you want it now? too bad, it’s too late,” he taunts. his eyes trail your body, eyebrows furrowing when he looks down your legs. “who told you to wear them,” he points at your panties between your legs. you give him a confused look, “you’re not allowed to put them on. give them to me,” he commands and panic crosses your eyes. you hesitate for a moment, debating whether you should listen to him or not. his fists clench as he glares at you, sending shivers down your spine, “what are looking at! give!” he speaks louder this time in a demanding tone as if he was scolding a little child who had picked up something from his office. your fingers tremble as you reach out to give the pink fabric to him, “leave.” what? you look at him in confusion. your big, doe eyes racking fear and anxiety. you wait for him to laugh or make a sarcastic remark about how gullible you are but it never comes. instead, he wraps your cotton panties around his cock, right in front of you, and begins jerking himself off. you are disgusted and petrified by his shameless actions, “what are you standing here for? leave. remember you said anything?” yeah, so you did. and you regret it already.

your legs tremble as you walk towards the door, pushing it open and peaking your head to check for people in the hallway. once you find it empty you walk out to the outside before sparing one last glance inside the dirty washroom. you hope for bakugo to call out to you, call you back but all you see is him cumming thick ropes into your panties while his eyes are screwed shut in ecstasy. yeah, you weren’t getting those back.

with shame and defeat written all over your face, you make your back to your classroom. your face is heated with embarrassment and humiliation as you remember you are walking around practically naked just an accident away from flashing yourself to anyone who cares to see. for the better half of the day, you walk around tugging your skirt as low as it can get. you don’t see bakugo for the rest of the day as he leaves you alone but when you do catch his eyes for a second or two, the wicked grin stretching over his features is hard to miss. He knows exactly what he is doing.

just as the day is about to end, he walks behind you squeezing your bare ass from under your skirt managing a surprised shriek from you when you feel his warm palms caress your ass pervertedly, “cute.” he whispers in your ear before turning you around and pinning you the wall. his fingers slide up your thighs moving closer to your cunt. warm digits graze over your slit earning a gasp from you, “come over, I will tutor you on the subjects you missed.” he kisses your neck, “come just like this.” he spanks your ass lightly before he leaves you be. his words are absolute and you know better than to disobey him, all of this was happening because you disobeyed him. you gather your things and walk up to his dorm room dressed just as you were before: in your school shirt, blazer, skirt, and no panties just as he wants it. when you arrive in his room you are met with his entire friend group sitting there with their books and pencils out. kaminari, kirishima and sero are not as surprised to see you as you are to see them. they greet you with happy faces which you return with a light smile.

“hey,” bakugo says with a smirk, guiding you to sit between sero and kirishima. between them the two humongous men, you feel like a child. with kirishima being tall and muscular and Sero being tall, lean and surprisingly packing a few too, makes you feel like a dwarf. you feel small and tiny in their presence and they very much notice it, sending knowing looks to one another while bakugo tries to tutor you. you know something’s up.

not a lot of studying takes place as kirishima grows impatient and slides his hand under your skirt and settles it over your cunt, rubbing his fingers on your pussy lips, occasionally pressing them on your clit. sero flips your skirt displaying your naked cunt to peering eyes. kaminari whistles, “wow, she really wasn’t wearing anything the entire day,” he comments. with one hand, Kirishima captures your wrists behind your back and pushes you on his lap. sero holds your legs to prevent you from squirming around like a dead fish, trying to break free. “so who goes first?” kaminari asks, walking over to you and crouching at your level. kirishima holds tightly with him seated on bakugo’s bed, kaminari flashes you a charming smile before his fingers run to unbutton your t-shirt, pulling your tits out of your bra. he tugs on one of your nipples while kishima’s large digits tugs on another.

“obviously me, dumbass.” bakugo barks coming closer to you. tears prick at your eyes as you beg him to stop, you tell him you’re sorry and that you will never disobey him ever again but he’s too far gone. the other men in the room might feel a little shitty about what they were going to do but there is no remorse in bakugo’s eyes. he looks at you like a predator looks at his prey, stalking about to pounce at any given second, “shut up, whore. you asked for this.” tears break loose as kirishima starts spreading your legs on command. wandering fingers rubbing at your pussy, trying to get you ready are forced to stop as bakugo declares that it must hurt for you. he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“you know you should have never said no to me right? be grateful for what’s being given to you, you’re our little plaything. a cute, little slut. you don’t get to say no,” his rough fingers grab at your jaw, prying it open as he spits in your mouth. “now just shut up and take our cocks, okay?” you cry out yes but he’s not satisfied. His hand strikes against your face, your cheek stings with burning hot pain as more tears leak out of your eyes. grabbing your face harshly, he lifts it up so you’re facing him, “okay?” he repeats. you calm your breath before answering him, fear and anxiety fucking you up in dread for what’s to come.

“yes, master,” you say in the most submissive voice you make out.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I know you’ve talked about how all the Cullen pairings are eventually going to implode - glad someone said it - but I was wondering if you wanted to talk a little bit about what you think Meyer INTENDED with the pairings - tropes and whatnot? And what you think would have to change in her narrative to make what was intended what we actually saw on the page? Or — what do you think each cullens’ Perfect Spouse would actually look like?

Anon is referring to this post.

And well, you've certainly given me quite the challenge.

Some Musing Ramblings Before We Begin

Sort of like asking me to make Dramione work, I'm not sure I'm the person to ask this. Anyone who reads my work knows that... well, that's a lie, every story I secretly write is a love story. But it's not Twilight in any way shape or form.

Twilight simply isn't a story I would set out to write. This isn't a good thing or a bad thing, it just is, which means that asking me to make Twilight work the way Meyer intended is probably not your best bet.

But I'll try regardless, it's what we're here for.

Bella/Edward

Meyer intended Bella Swan and Edward Cullen to be the best and brightest of all the pairings in Twilight. They have the love and devotion of Carlisle and Esme, the physicality and sexual attraction of Rosalie and Emmett, and are such a grand love that even depressed Marcus takes note. This is the love story that drives the entire series.

Edward is an improvement upon Carlisle, a Carlisle with even better control, and the most beautiful man you ever did see. He's also a gentleman, a man of his time and from an era where chivalry was alive and men courted women. Bella is one of those disturbingly altruistic people who makes you feel bad about yourself just by being in the same room. She's incredibly selfless, kind, and also quite brave.

Together, despite their ups and downs and the many obstacles in their way, they're disgustingly perfect.

However, that's not what we get. On Edward's end he's... Edward about loving Bella. On Bella's end, she has no idea who Edward even is but she does know he's beautiful and special.

And to get what Meyer actually wanted... Christ, Anon, I'll try.

So, the first problem, if Edward was truly a good person then Twilight would never happen.

Edward would have his first day of Biology, miraculously maintain control, and flee to Alaska as he does in canon. However, he would not return. Edward in canon returns due to his budding obsession as well as his wounded pride, in fleeing Forks he feels he has lost to Bella. When Carlisle later points out that a girl's life is on the line, that Edward is foolishly endangering this girl solely for his ego, Edward refuses to acknowledge this.

A good man would never have returned from Alaska, the Cullens would have moved in short order, and Bella may or may not have died in a parking lot or in Port Angeles.

That said, what if Bella is not, in fact, Edward's singer? Then there's not this constant debate of him eating her or his creepy, budding, obsession with his personal brand of heroin.

Well, the trouble with that is that Edward would then never notice her. Even were Edward not a colossal dismissive dick, required per this ask, Bella is one mortal out of many and someone he shouldn't grow close to. Associating with her just exposes her to unnecessary danger from him and his family. Edward is a guest in our world, nothing more, and a kind Edward might chit chat with her in Biology but even if he had a growing crush he'd keep his distance.

As he tried and failed to do in canon, actually.

Basically, change Edward alone, and it's not enough. The Edward Meyer wanted would never get together with Bella. At least, not without a lot of AU-sauce.

But let's look at Bella for a moment. Bella's character also has to be entirely stripped down. The Bella of the books is extremely depressed and her infatuation with Edward is fueled in part because of this. Edward's obsession with her gives her worth.

Obviously, in this new and improved edition of Twilight, Bella can't use either Edward or Jacob for validation. She has to be able to stand on her own two legs. If she does use either for validation, then the relationship must come to an end, as she and her significant other realize just what it is Bella's doing.

The trouble is, what does this not-depressed Bella have to fall in love with? Yes, Edward's beautiful, and that certainly goes a long way, but in canon he's a dick. Bella even thinks to herself that he's a complete dick (even when he's trying to be charming). Luckily for Edward she later decides that this is cryptic and therefore appealing.

Well, in AU land, Edward might be so damn charming that Bella likes him anyway but we come back to Edward keeping her at a polite distance.

So, what we need is a terrifying villain. Let's call him Angelus (though per Twilight this would probably be James). Angelus is a vampire that will force Edward's hand. For whatever reason, he decides to torment and ruin Bella's life, ending the hunt in either eating her or turning her into his bride. Angelus' existence forces Bella to be in the know and for Edward to have to take extreme action.

The pair become closer, grow through undoubtedly horrific trauma, and through said trauma Bella understands not only the pros of being a vampire but the terrifying cons.

Basically, it'd be this story. Just replace the name "Carlisle" with Edward and "Edward" with James.

Alice/Jasper

Alice and Jasper are supposed to have this ineffable, mystic, connection where they're together because... Alice saw them together. And in a way, that's true, but it's supposed to be a thing of beauty, soulmates if there ever were any, and instead it's this dumpster fire with nothing holding them together.

This one's easier in a way, well, sort of. Alice would have to be a completely different character and we'd have to see a lot more of Jasper.

Alice has a bad habit of treating those around her, even those she loves, as chess pieces. She'll put them in significant danger, court their misery, so long as it gets her the future she wants.

And she's extremely controlling.

Right away in the opening of Midnight Sun we see this and how it affects her and Jasper's relationship. The novel opens with Alice hovering, scanning the future for Japser fucking up, while Jasper just sits there in misery. Due to her obsession on making sure Jasper doesn't eat students, she actually misses Edward's plan to massacre Biology and his many plans to eat Bella Swan.

Even if she wasn't, this isn't good for anyone to live with. Jasper has very little concept of free will, whatever happens to him, whatever he'll do, Alice tells him and the worst possible option is always on the table.

For Jasper/Alice to work either Alice's gift needs to go (and that's... sort of all Alice is) or she has to tell no one any vision ever unless under extreme circumstances.

Which would be devastating for Alice. Rather than this mostly well-adjusted, perky, girl, Alice would be crippled by her gift. The weight of the world, everyone's free will, rests on her shoulders and she has to constantly avoid temptation to simply pick everyone's future for them.

Without the attitude Alice has in canon, I think she'd go mad with such a gift, or else be consumed by the responsibility of it.

Then we get to the mess that is Jasper. Jasper's complicated, and I don't want to get into it here, but his love story would have to be... too large to be put to the side like that. The redemption he'd need is not one that can be shoved into a few paragraphs told to Bella, it's frankly the kind of story that would drive an ordinary story.

So we'd have to see a lot of Jasper and Nouveau Alice. Which, of course, detracts from Bella/Edward which is the main point of the story.

Honestly, I take it back, there's no salvaging this relationship. They would have to be completely different people to the point where they're entirely different characters wearing nametags 'Alice' and 'Jasper'. Alice couldn't have her gift, which informs her entire character, and we'd have to see way too much of Jasper who is ultimately a tertiary character.

Carlisle/Esme

Thoughts on Carlisle/Esme.

Carlisle and Esme is a very 'spiritual' relationship per Meyer. They're... mom-bot and dad-bot. Alright, fine, they're the perfect parents with this deep love for each other and a very parental bond with Edward especially. It's the relationship Edward admires the most in his paired off family.

I don't even know how to fix this one.

Again, they'd have to be such different people. The trouble with Esme and Carlisle is that they share no values and are plagued by massive miscommunication. The Carlisle who is perfect for Esme... No, wait, this Carlisle is perfect for her, but that's because she's in Esme Land.

The Carlisle that would be perfect for a grounded Esme is not the one that exists. She'd want someone who would always put the family first, who would treasure her above all other things, that's not Carlisle.

Carlisle, similarly, would want someone that truly shares his ideals. That's not Esme.

So, we're back to nametag land, because one or both have to completely change for this to work. (Not to mention that Esme's probably not supposed to be Esme).

So, I've got nothing for this.

Rosalie/Emmett

I actually think these two are what Meyer intended. They love each other but are mostly held together by attraction. They're a very physical couple and good for the most part but inherently lesser than Bella/Edward.

Sure, I'd argue that they're the most put together couple in the house, but I think they're meant to have flaws. They work well together, but every other relationship in the Cullens has to be a step up or at least have something more to it.

Something Edward and Bella can be better than.

Conclusion

Dear god. Did I only manage to somewhat address Bella/Edward? Was that it? This was worse than I thought.

[remosdeerica]

Batshit AU Part #1: The Bio Kids

(Yes I have actually decided to call this the Batshit AU. I already have a series of one shots [there is only one so far, lol.] called Assorted Batshit on Ao3 so I figured I'd just keep going with the name.)

I have been posting a lot of stuff to do with "my Batfamily" or "my version of events" so I figured I'd go ahead and make some long ass posts about what I would love to see in the Batfam's future but know I will never get (but that's why fanfic exists so I guess I'll live)

Now there isn't going to be any clear timeline to this because I plan to write different fics in regards to these particular chain of events and when or how things happen might change depending on the plot. But it starts with the question asked by Random Joe many posts ago:

How many kids do you have, Mr. Wayne?

Well to answer that question:

Legally: 7

Biologically: 5

Emotionally: Anyone under the age of 25 that is within a 50ft radius (I'm mostly kidding but lets be honest, it's kinda true).

Now if that math doesn't make sense to you (as most math doesn't make sense to me), fear not! I shall explain!

So Legally we have as follows: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Duke Thomas, Damian Wayne and Helena Wayne.

These are the obvious few.

Now we get into Biologically and things get a bit more complicated. For this category we have: Damian Wayne, Terrance McGinnis, Athanasia al Ghul, Matthew McGinnis, and Helena Wayne (I put them in order of their ages and added colours if you wanna skip my ranting and get to the goods).

Now for those of you who may not be as obsessed with Batfam lore as I am; yes all of these characters are canon (in some timeline anyway) and you are welcome to google them. But just be warned that I take canon and make it my bitch so almost nothing you read about them on their wiki-pages or wherever you look for your info will really matter (besides Damian but even then I take creative liberties). But I love Easter eggs so there will be plenty of those.

Damian and Helena are pretty straightforward. We know where Damian came from and Helena is just the result of Selina and Bruce finally getting their shit together.

Terry, Matt and Athanasia are a bit more complicated.

Terry & Matt: These two cuties were the unfortunate victims of an experiment called the Batman Beyond project. A project that was put into motion by A.R.G.U.S. after Bruce "died" (was lost in time) as a way to make sure that the Batman legacy lived on (as if he doesn't already have a million children for that).

Warren and Mary Singer were lead scientists on the project but after finding out what exactly it was that A.R.G.U.S. was doing with the "failed attempts" (they were killing them) the couple stole the toddler subject BN9-12 (Terry) and infant AC7-30 (Matthew) and fled (I made the numbers up on the spot don't read too much into them). They changed their names to McGinnis and raised the boys in Gotham City (cause that was a good choice...).

Unfortunately, their old lives eventually caught up with them and Mary and Warren were killed. Terry (around 10-11yrs old) took Mattie (around 7-8yrs old) and ran, his parents having taught him some skills in case something like this ever happened. The boys lived on the streets for many months before running into Tim Drake (i.e. Batman) who later adopted them (because when faced with black haired blue eyed orphans there is only one thing for a Batman to do).

[Side note: Tim doesn't know the boy's origins at this point.]

Athanasia: After Damian's death at the hands of the Heretic, Thalia went insane (more insane?) with grief and as a result decided to have another child with the left over.... substance.... shall we call it.... that she had acquired from Bruce all those years ago. However this time she intended to keep the child safe where they couldn't be hurt by either the League or Bruce (as if Thalia wasn't the main reason Damian was dead... but whatever. I have mixed feelings about Thalia).

When Athanasia was "born" (taken from her birthing pod, as one is) Thalia locked her away Rapunzel style in a secure location. Never allowing her outside for fear that she would be discovered by Ra's spies and killed.

For 8 years Athanasia grew up in relative luxury inside her bedroom, learning history, politics math, writing, and anything else Thalia thought she needed to learn. But Thalia never taught her how to fight (haven't quite decided her reasoning for this so just go with it) and as a result Athanasia is a very quiet, gentle child (basically the opposite of what Damian was like at her age).

Thalia never told Athanasia about Bruce. Since she wasn't created with the intent of being the heir to anything, Thalia saw Athanasia as only hers and therefore deemed it unnecessary for Bruce to know of her existence.

But she did tell her of her older brother; Damian (what Thalia told her is still undecided and will probably depend on overarching plots).

The rest of Athanasia's story is still in the works but essentially Damian eventually finds her and brings her back to Gotham with him. But although she acknowledges Bruce as her father, she lives with and defers to Damian (and Jon depending on the situation) as her caretaker.

So here is Part #1 of the Batshit AU!

Next Part will probably be about Dick and Jason's child situation that I've hinted at. I'll link it once it's done. :)

[babyboibucky]

Stages - Part 1

Pairing: AU!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,072

Summary: Bucky slowly realizes that he wants to cross the line of friendship with you.

A/N: I started a new series and this is the result of listening to Lauv’s Feelings so y’all might want to listen to that. A good ‘ol classic friends to lovers trope...if they do end up together in the end lol

STAGES MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

-

ONE: REALIZATION

Bucky was sure that it was just platonic, his friendship with you. Being friends since your ugliest days back in college, it wasn't that hard not to keep it platonic. You sported the most hideous haircut back then, wore braces that made you spit on Bucky's face whenever the two of you argued and you cursed like a motherfucking sailor.

There wasn’t even a hint of sweetness in your entire personality. Bucky literally cried to you out of fear when he almost failed a major and you merely laughed at him, called him a pussy for getting emotional over something so trivial and bought him a bucket of beer to make him feel better.

"She's totally not girlfriend material." Bucky used to tell everyone and you always agreed without even feeling offended.

Why would you be anyway? Getting attracted to Bucky never crossed your mind even though he didn't seem to have that awkward teenager phase, that lucky bastard. He was already good-looking with his piercing blue eyes and boyish grin that made every girl in the university swoon. Sure, he had some baby fat back then but his goddamn charm was undeniable.

Too bad it never worked on you.

You’ve seen how Bucky flirted, heard his cheesy pick-up lines over and over again and they just made you cringe. You almost wanted to throw up when Bucky shamelessly engaged in phone sex while he hung out at your dorm. Thank god he didn’t whip his dick out and jerked off while you studied, he just groaned and cursed into the phone, talked dirty to whoever it was he was talking to and boy was Bucky terrible at it.

“You want me to fuck you with my 8-inch dick?” Bucky grunted into the phone as he laid on your bed.

You rolled your eyes and slammed your laptop shut, deciding to continue reviewing somewhere else. You left your dorm but not without grabbing Bucky’s phone, interrupting him in the middle of his disgusting sex talk.

“8-inch dick? More like 8 inches divided by 4. Good luck sucking his micropenis, sis.”

“You fucking, bitch!”

The both of you knew each other very well too, a tad bit too much at that. You knew each other's deepest darkest secrets like that one time in sophomore year when Bucky had food poisoning during a test and had to swallow back his vomit again and again until he finished the exam. Or when you went on a blind date for the first time, sharted, and braved through the entire day with shit in your underwear.

You also knew he wasn't one to settle down and all the times that he did commit, he always ended up breaking the poor girl's heart. Bucky was also aware of your trust issues given your family history. Having witnessed your parents fall out of love and into resentment, you refused to believe in relationships.

“I heard you rejected Tyler. He isn’t so bad you know?” Bucky asked as he sat next to you in the library.

“You know I don’t do relationships, Buck.” you told him, leaning your face against your palm as you flipped through the pages of your handouts.

“I heard you dumped Dot.” you asked back. “I thought she was the one. I mean, you sorta changed when you started dating her. Thought you stopped using your dick to think.”

Bucky shrugged, “I got bored of it.” he responded.

You snorted and turned to him, “Guys like you are the reason why I don’t do relationships.”

“Yeah well, girls like you are the reason why I don’t do commitment.” he snapped back. “You’re too cynical, I mean c’mon. Have fun, suck a dick without attachments.” he said out loud, earning a chorus of shushes from the other students engrossed in their books.

You rolled your eyes at Bucky in embarrassment and started gathering your things, preparing to leave the library.

“I already did.”

“What the fuck?! When and whose dick did you suck?!”

“Shush!!!!!”

It was pretty clear that romance was out of the books between the two of you.

Bucky was sure that it was just platonic, his friendship with you. Until he slowly began to realize that maybe, just maybe...you might be girlfriend material after all.

-

As the years went by, Bucky started noticing the little changes in you in all aspects...and as a man, it was the physical changes that he started to notice first.

Sleepovers weren't unusual for the both of you, in fact, the both of you were comfortable letting each other stay the night at each other’s dorms. Junior year in college, Bucky decided to stay at your dorm to work on a project. You had just finished taking a bath when Bucky knocked on your door and almost choked on his own spit upon seeing you in a tight cami top and the tiniest pair of shorts.

It wasn’t really the first time you paraded around Bucky wearing such, but for some reason, he couldn’t get his eyes to look away from your chest that night because fuck, when did they get that perky? Bucky felt bad for sexualizing so he decided to go through your old pictures (you with the ugly-ass hair and braces) to rinse his brain and fortunately, it worked.

For a while, Bucky managed to ignore the physical changes you were going through. It didn't last long though, because right after graduation Bucky started to notice a lot of things about you. Your hair had grown longer and for some reason, Bucky found himself wanting to run his fingers through your locks. He loved the natural waves in your hair, sometimes he'd tug at them to annoy you but truth was, he just wanted an excuse to touch it.

You had your braces removed in senior year too but it wasn't until your graduation that Bucky noticed how it totally changed your smile. You were pretty insecure about your teeth and when you finally got them straightened out, you learned to smile more and with confidence. Bucky remembered your habit of covering your mouth with your hands whenever you laughed so when he first saw you laugh freely, he thought you looked the most beautiful.

Were the changes in you that blatant for Bucky to start noticing them or was he just paying more attention to you?

Bucky didn't know why. At least, not yet.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @hersilencedscreams 

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[jmoriarty-221b]

So I saw somewhere a post that talked about how some fictional characters just have a divorce vibe going on, like, at no point in time were they ever married but they just give off that feeling that they got divorced

And now I can only think of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor having that vibe

And I spent close to an hour talking about this to my sibling and how it would be a good idea for a new DC show like, you can make so much money off of just the main Batfam alone and there are literally so many people in there that it’s just an amazing idea to have them all in a show together but kind of like a Good Luck Charlie kinda thing because there’s more than enough angst in the world

But in the case of not having enough of a budget for so many characters in one show I turned to the Superfam (Batfam is Huge like, I don’t even know half of the extended family version and that’s like at least ten characters so I could see why it wouldn’t be entirely feasible to have a show that included everyone while still being good with nice character development without having a billion dollars for the budget)

The Superfam, in my personal experience, is composed of Ma & Pa Kent (farm vibes plus I refuse to have either of them die in my AU), Clark Kent (main Superman), Lois Lane (Lana? was Smallville Lois i guess??? But idk enough about her so she’s not here), Jon Kent (Superboi II), Kara Danvers (Supergirl) & Conner Kent (Superboi I)

Now I’ve stopped watching CW shows like, forever ago??? But my brother kinda keeps up with them and basically the gist is that the ratings of every other show suck Except for the Superman & Lois show (because it’s 💫new💫) and I saw the cover of the poster like “Ah, the werewolf dude. . . mmmhhmmm that’s Lois yes, yes that’s Johnny boi, and um is that???? Nooooo, they wouldn’t do that to Conner right???? Please tell me they didn’t make Conner blonde” and I was informed that the blonde teen is Chris???? Like

Whoms’t do ye speak of

I’m not even joking but the only way I even know of Chris is from a random fanfic I read where Dick Grayson gets his own super from an alternate reality named Chris, that’s my only point of reference for this character

But let’s talk about how Conner Kent (OG Superboi) was excluded

Now I haven’t seen any episodes of this and I probably never will (no hate I’m just really unmotivated to start new shows at all) so idk if they might mention Conner or even allude to him in one scene or something

But this was my main motivator as to my new Superfam TV Show Idea

Have Lex Luthor not be a Superman villain, he’s mainly a successful businessman, a little shady but who isn’t, and he doesn’t want to Kill Superman, he just wants to be able to have some sort of viable protection against a Kryptonian in case of an invasion (see Man of Steel + CW’s Supergirl) or suddenly having a mind controlled Superman on their hands (see Justice League series or just look up what Red Krytonite does) so he makes it like his side thing to figure out ways to neutralize or hold back a Kryptonian, Clark totally thinks that Lex is obsessed with finding a way to kill Superman because they had a bad end to their friendship in high school so he’s always suspicious of Lex, Lex hasn’t really ever tried to kill him though because 1. It’s not that deep Clark ok? And 2. He’s a busy busy man with a very important job position and a company to run so does he look like he has time to harbor an obsession over someone who rejected him back in high school??? You’re more of a constant side quest Clark, so stop trying to put him on the JL watchlist ( btw ik about Lena Luthor, haven’t forgotten her but she doesn’t really play a part in this AU so let’s just have her and Kara off to the side doing their own thing ok? Ok)

Lex, Bruce & Oliver all knew each other when they were kids and went to the same school, this is just an extra detail I wanted to happen because Lex and Ollie definitely know Bruce is Batman and absolutely HATE having to deal with Brucie Wayne because “I know you’re just doing this to irritate me Bruce, you just want to see if you can make a vein throb in my forehead but I will valiantly ignore your dumbassery because I know you hate being Brucie just as much as we hate having to put up with Brucie so suck on that you petty bitch” because they bonded in ye olden days, childhood friends so to speak

Anyway so Cadmus tries to get Lex to make an investment in their company, seeing as Cadmus is shadier than Gotham when it rains Lex is basically like ‘no ❤️’ and doesn’t make a deal with them, Cadmus gets mad at not having Lexcorp financially backing them so Lex has an ‘accident’ and they steal his DNA, then they steal Superman’s DNA somehow and *boom* a Superboi is formed

Because I don’t know much about how the Core Four became friends in the first place (Robin Tim Drake, Impulse Bart Allen, Wonder Girl Cassie Sandsmark & Superboy Conner Kent) I’m just gonna go with what happens in the show Young Justice except it’s the Core Four becoming the Core Four when they liberated Conner (who at this point believes himself to be a clone of Superman and has only been given Superboy as a name) from Cadmus, same shit goes down meaning that Clark is just straight up NOT vibing with Conner, Conner just wants a mentor please, and the Bats kinda give Clark a passive aggressive treatment for not taking Superboy under his wing or at least agreeing to teach him how to control his powers, especially Tim because that’s his Bestie so yes

Anyway, YJ saves ppl and is on the news or whatever and Lex finds out about Superboy’s existence that way, so he researches this new super on his free time, finds out that he came from Cadmus and claims to be a clone of Superman, yet doesn’t have the whole power set Superman has??? Wait, didn’t Lex reject Cadmus’ proposal and the got into a mysterious accident??? Long story short Lex goes connecting the dots, hacks into Cadmus’ files, finds out he technically has a son with Superman and decides to take Superboy under his wing (I’ll go more in depth as to why Lex would want to do this in this AU later but the abridged version would be that he wants a kid but doesn’t have the time nor interest in finding a wife??? Also the radiation that made him bald as a kid also affected his reproductive system so while it’s not impossible for him to conceive kids he would have a very hard time actually getting to father a kid)

Him and Conner, who still goes by Superboy at this point in time, meet up and Conner finds out that here is a parent figure that is both available and actively wants to be a part of his life, so he agrees to get to know Lex and the series would focus on them becoming a family, with a special episode when Conner asks Lex for help in choosing a name for himself and it ends up with him agreeing to become Conner Luthor, it would be heartwarming and Mercy would make sure it happens within a day (Mercy is Lex’s bodyguard/PA but they’re also besties and she becomes the Responsible yet Chaotic Aunt as Lex and Conner’s father-son relationship progresses)

Obviously Clark becomes super suspicious of Lex getting close to his ‘clone’ and when Conner decides to go public as Lex’s son he’s like *GASP* and calls up Bruce because we need to get on this Bruce, Lex is a villain and blah blah blah but Bruce would be over Clark’s shit and hit him with that “actually, Lex was also an unwilling genetic donor to Superboy, who actually is not your clone either, and has agreed to take him in, I’ve been on this shit since they first met and the kid is doing just fine so if you keep poking your nose in their business then that’s your problem but you better be ready to pay child support bitch . . . have a good day ❤️”

The series would just focus on Conner getting to have a good parent figure in Lex and go more into their civilian lives rather than focusing on the superhero thing, Conner, Bart, Tim & Cassie have a sleepover at Lex’s house at one point, Lex totally Knows what’s up but it’s all good because these are his baby’s friends and they’re good people who are more than willing to prank Superman for rejecting his kid and giving his baby self worth issues (Mercy supports them)

Anyway, that’s basically the idea for a new Superhero Show

[jadelynlace]

Hvitserk’s First Tattoo / Ink Drinker Modern Vikings AU Request [Ivar x F!reader]

catch up on the porno, I mean series, here.

requested by: @quantumlocked310 ♡

author’s note: thanks to this post, you’ll all be subjected to the written requests. here is the visual reference for the tattoo Hvitserk gets (image isn’t mine and all credit goes to it’s original owner). mentions of brotherly bickering, Hvitserk being scared and Ivar tattooing.

synopsis: You finally talk Hvitserk into getting some ink.

✎

“Did I miss it?” You say, nearly falling in through the main door of the shop. “I almost took the ambulance over here just because it has lights and sirens,” Hvitserk offers you an estranged look, one mixed with him being mortified and slightly impressed with your timing after the over night shift.

“I’ve never seen you this excited,” Sigurd calls from his spot, pulling a record from the shelf as he goes about lining it up, pulling the needle over so the music can fill the room.

“She doesn’t even get this excited when she sees my dick,” Ivar teases from his spot and you offer him a less than kind finger gesture. 

“Can you blame me?” You remark back and Ivar only returns your original hand motion. “Did you pick yet?” You the ask as Hvitserk studies Ivar’s portfolio, as if he will be quizzed on it at the end of the session.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” He groans, another turn of the laminated pages.

“All of our best talks happen when it’s in the ambulance cabin at four in the morning,” You laugh, patting his back as you round the small counter. Ivar’s hands are quick to seat you on his lap, wrapping around you almost instantly and you both breathe in relief.

“Long night?” Ivar asks softly in your ear.

“Routine bullshit,” You grumble back, his hands tracing up your back and you could almost fall asleep in the very spot. One hand leaves your spine, reaching along the counter to grasp the tall can of his energy drink, offering it to you but you only shake your head. “That crap tastes like cough syrup,” You add as Ivar downs another gulp.

“Hurry up Hvitserk, we’re here after hours for this,” Ivar calls before he pulls the can back to his mouth.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to pop your cherry,” You say and Ivar looses some of the energy drink through a spray from his lips.

“You can get her name on your ass,” Sigurd says, walking past Hvitserk and tapping his uniform clad back. 

“Why? So Ivar and I can match?” Hvitserk grumbles back and you laugh against Ivar’s chest. 

“How do they know about that?” Ivar asks you quietly, through a teasing voice and you raise slightly, giggling against his mouth as your catch his lips with yours.

“Oh, for fucks sake—Hvitserk here, do that one,” Sigurd says, tapping his fingers against the page. “Paramedic Ragnarsson gets an anatomical tattoo,” 

“Nice choice,” Ivar hums, standing to his full height with you latched still around him and he sets you to sit along the counter.

“Is it nap time for the baby?” Sigurd says, voice taking on a toddler’s tone as he sits back at the front desk, and at the receiving end of the pen that flies from Ivar’s grasp. Leather combat boots stalk along the dark wooden floors, pulling the design from its laminated home before Ivar sends the image through the printer in the far corner. Your eyes catch sight of his back, the muscles in his biceps, the veins on his forearms as he programs the machine to spit out the stencil. Looming your eyes up the gray fabric of the old band tee, over the locks that he’s starting to comb into a bun, and then down the dark wash jeans and over how they end in the tops of his shoes. More thoughts swirl about how you couldn’t wait to undress him when you two would go to your apartment.

As Hvitserk makes himself comfortable in the black leather chair, he rolls up the uniform sleeve, a quick unbutton and folding of the blue material, already deciding on where he deemed the appropriate placement. The curl of his sleeve stops above his elbow and you could see the faint burn mark on his wrist from when he tried to eat a marshmallow that was still on fire. You watched Ivar position himself at his station, a meticulous arrangement of his tools, setting everything in a straight line to connect. There was a squirt of the ink into the containers, a pull of gloves onto his hands, wiggling his fingers into their spots and cracking his knuckles. You bit down on your own tongue to stop that moan that tried so hard to escape. Taking the razor to shave off the blond fuzz, he gingerly laid the stencil on his brother’s inner arm, pressing it gently before pulling it back.

“Double check in the mirror that you like the placement,” Ivar says, tossing his head towards the back wall with the mirror surrounded by an intense wooded frame Floki had built. Hvitserk stands, and you see the slight tremor in his hands, never a fan of any sort of pain—intentional or not. You’ve seen this man cry at the sensation of a paper cut, and all but sob when he jerked his shin against the metal grate on the ambulance’s bumper. But, he was also the man who would tell the patients that it was going to hurt—the realignment, or when he set up the hare for an isolated femur fracture—it was going to hurt and they had his full permission to break his hand if need be. You laugh every time there’s an active labor call, and Hvitserk reassures the mother that he has two hands, and if she needs to break one to push her child out, he’s willing to suffer. It calms the hysteria, even on the worst calls you two had walked into, Hvitserk always knew how to calm any of the demons that danced in the ambulance. Ivar turns to you as Hvitserk gazes, probably far longer than other client has to date, and slides himself over to where you’re perched. There’s a removal of one glove, an index finger and thumb on your chin as he kisses you once, twice, and third time. 

“I already know what I want to eat for dinner,” He whispers against your ear, just loudly enough so you’re the only one to hear his words. “But make sure you leave the polo on, baby girl,” He adds, kissing your temple and nudging the badge that’s on your chest, as a slow blush roses over your cheeks while he turns back around. “Alright brother, ready?” He calls, tapping the seat of the chair and Hvitserk takes a final look before plopping both himself down and his arm against the cushion. 

“Is it going to hurt?” Hvitserk asks, trying to bite the smile he’s showing while both Ivar and Sigurd are preparing to throw whatever they can reach. “I’m sorry I couldn’t resist,” Ivar offers him another lethal glare, nearly plucking the smile from his lips as he begins to spread a thin layer of the ointment across the purple ink. There’s a buzz from the needle gun and Hvitserk whimpers not unlike a puppy. Ivar’s glove-clad fingers stretch to pull the skin taunt, taking the gun down the first line and wiping it with a paper towel.

“Still alright, sir?” You say to Hvitserk as if he’s a patient in your ambulance and you’re watching an IV start. 

“Can you hold my hand?” He whines in a faked voice of concern.

“No,” You say back and there’s a snicker from Sigurd on the far side of the shop. The room dulls to only the noise of the record, the vibration of the needle and you watch Ivar so effortlessly in his element. Eyes watching, concentrating on what he’s doing yet singing lowly to the lyrics of the song that floods your ears alike. He rolls his chair slightly, maneuvering Hvitserk’s arm to his liking as he holds it down with his own. Strength unmatched because his least favorite thing is when the client fidgets, since it sends his work to become sloppy, and he’s grown accustomed to a way to hold the body part down to his liking. And that sight makes you think about him over you, body weight pressing against you like a weighted blanket, one with a smart mouth and curved lip who melts at the sheer stroke of your nails on his skin. Your thoughts rolls from the shift you worked prior, reanalyzing what you had done, gone through, pulling it to part like thread. They roll like waves but crash with thoughts of Ivar, his small comment earlier and then they shift. From work to pleasure and you’re squeezing your thighs before you realize it. Ivar’s voice comes through your ears to halt the dissection, and you move your head to see Hvitserk admiring the piece now forever on his skin and you smile back. Another layer of ointment and then it’s wrapped tightly with Ivar’s instructions to leave it on for an hour. 

“See? No need to be a little baby about it,” You tease him and he laughs.

“That’s his default setting,” Sigurd’s voice calls as he stands up. “Ivar you’re closing up tonight, right?” And Ivar just nods. “I will see your smiling face tomorrow morning then,” He adds sarcastically, and with a wave and check of his pockets he’s out the shops front door.

“Wasn’t as terrible as I thought,” Hvitserk jokes. “Maybe I will get your name on my ass after all,” You offer him a faked smile and forged laugh. “I’m going to head out too, I got the over time for tomorrow,” And he’s gone with a salute through his hand and the hundred dollar bill on the desk, leaving you and Ivar alone in the shop.

“I like seeing you in here,” You say softly as you watch him clear his materials, place everything in their homes and he smiles while he works. “You’re so relaxed,”

“I can say the same thing when I see you in that ambulance, baby,” He replies as he casts a look back to you and then he’s standing, arm grabbing you to come into his side. “Now let’s get going, I’m really looking forward to my dinner…”

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[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Some People Wrap Their Lies Around a Cocktail Glass | Damian Wayne

Come. And Be My Baby

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 3k

✦ fake dating AU

✦ summary — you need to cover up the fact that your boyfriend broke up with you a week before your step-father’s Christmas party, and Damian needs a date for his father’s New Year’s ball. Both of you are experts at pretending, what could go wrong?

✦ warnings — some angst (very light, blink and you’ll miss it), mentions of alcohol, a little awkwardness, fluff.

✦ author's note — thank you for reading this mini series! Most things had to be improvised because I couldn’t follow the plan I had for this story due to health issues. I hope you like it.

✦ mini series masterlist

════════════════════════

Turning the TV off, you found your own reflection ridden by guilt on the black screen.

You forgot to tell your mother you had plans for New Year’s that didn’t involve your father. You could blame Travis in your head and convince yourself that the stress of your fight with him had clouded your judgment, but it was far from the truth.

His attitude hurt, but you found it hard to feel too upset about it. Damian had been a good distraction which was a problem in itself — said problem would bother you furthermore if he hadn’t been so perfect at playing his role.

And now you would have to impress his father. Well, his siblings too, even if he wanted to act like he didn’t care about anybody from his family.

You really needed to talk to your mother.

There was no chance you would find your mother at home. Leonard liked to welcome the new year out of the country. Calling home would be easier, you could leave her a message with a maid.

Contacting your father first would open the possibility of your mother finding out from him and you knew better than doing something like that to her.

As if the universe was on your side, your mother didn’t pick up the phone and the perfect middle ground came to your mind.

Leonard answered at the third ring, calling you by your nickname as he greeted you.

“My mother isn’t answering her phone. Is everything okay?”

“She’s at the spa.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

“Did you need anything?”

You sighed. “Not exactly… but now that you mention it, I could use your help.”

“Is your father treating you badly?”

“No, no. It’s about Damian.” Before he could assume anything, you clarified, “He isn’t treating me badly either.”

“I’m all ears.”

You toyed with the tv remote, tracing the spaces between the buttons with your fingertip. “I… first, I need to tell you something,” you started, unsure. “But you have to promise mom will never find out.”

Leonard hummed. “Are you finally confessing that Damian isn’t your boyfriend?”

You winced. “Is it that obvious?”

“No. Harry told me about your fight with Trent.”

“Travis,” you corrected him.

“Him, yes,” Leonard dismissed the correction. “You didn’t have to lie to us, you know?”

“Mother was happy to know I was dating somebody,” you mumbled, “but Travis chickened out.”

“And Damian didn’t.”

“Exactly.”

“So? What’s the issue?”

Shifting, you rested your head on the arm of the couch. You felt like a teen again, telling Leonard about your day and the drama in your friend group. “I think I like him. I don’t know, I’m confused.”

“Give yourself time to figure it out.” It sounded easy coming out of his mouth.

“I wish I could. I have to get ready in like two hours to attend a ball with him, and I’ll have to pretend to be his perfect girlfriend like he pretended to be my perfect boyfriend.”

“You’ll do great,” he said gently. “You’ve pretended to enjoy events before.”

“I’ve never pretended to be perfect.”

“Because you don’t have to. Treat it like you used to treat the events you attended us. Why was that so easy to do?”

“Because I wanted you to look good.”

“Do you want Damian to look good?”

“Yes.”

“There’s your answer.” Good ol’ Leonard, always so patient with you.

“Will you help me get a new identity if I mess it up?”

He snorted. “Anything you want. Always.”

“I’m guessing you can tell my mother to call me?” You tried your luck, “Or let her know I won’t visit my father…”

“You’re not getting out of that one.”

“Fair enough,” you laughed softly.

Later, as you were getting ready, a question filled your mind — did Leonard imply Damian and you would be a good couple or did you imagine that?

════════════════════════

You jumped upon hearing the doorbell. Taking your clutch from the coffee table, you checked yourself on the mirror one last time.

Opening the door, you found an impeccably dressed Damian. His aftershave hit your nostrils immediately, mixed with his cologne.

“Ready?” he asked.

No. “Yes,” you assured him, watching him step backward to give you space.

You felt his eyes on you as you locked the door. Your eyes locked with his when you turned around, but neither of you said anything.

“My siblings might be too much to handle at first,” he warned you.

You shifted to look at him as he drove. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“I’ll let you decide once you meet them.”

“Oh, you’re cruel.”

He almost smiled.

This time the drive was shorter, and if Damian was nervous, he knew how to hide it to perfection.

His wall crumbled rather quickly. His eyes were fixed on the butler, gaze softening as he was greeted. You heard him refer to the butler by his last name, and introduce you.

“Please call me Alfred, miss.”

“Thank you, Alfred. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The old man smiled at you, bowing.

A commotion behind Alfred interrupted the butler himself who moved to the side. A blue-eyed man grabbed Damian by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug.

Damian inhaled sharply, patting the other man’s back a few times. “Richard,” he whined, “you’re ruining my attire.”

“Don’t worry. Jason isn’t even wearing a tux.” Hearing Damian scoff, Richard let go of him.

You stifled a laugh, watching Damian fix imaginary creases on his blazer. He sent you a glare, mouth twitching as he saw you pursing your lips.

“Hold it! You brought at date?!”

Standing straight, Damian introduced you to Richard as his girlfriend. You extended your free hand in a polite gesture that Richard almost found insulting.

You too were pulled into a hug. And welcomed to the family. “I can’t believe this!”

“Richard,” Damian gritted.

Ignoring his brother, the man hugging you said, “Call me Dick. Dami refuses to do it for whatever reason.”

You hugged him back, wondering if this was what Damian meant by too much. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dick.”

Dick shuffled, quite excited as he attempted to guide you towards the reception with an arm around your neck. “Come. Everybody will be happy to meet you.”

“Hey!” Damian exclaimed. “She’s my girlfriend, I should be the one introducing her!”

God. How many times would he call you his girlfriend? And how many times would you be able to take it?

Dick smiled, withdrawing his arm off you. “Of course.”

Damian lightly shoved Dick as he took your hand. His eyes found yours once again, silently asking you if you were ready. Gripping his hand, you lied by assuring him you were.

Two men and two women were in the living room. You recognized Jason immediately thanks to Dick’s comment about his lack of suit.

Chatter died down as four pairs of eyes fixed on you and Damian. You weren’t sure if they were shocked because Damian was there or because he had taken you with him.

“Hello,” Damian greeted blandly.

Jason snorted. “Definitely not a clone.”

The other man stood up, smiling at Damian. “Welcome home, Dami.”

“Thank you… Tim.”

Tim’s smile turned even brighter. He introduced himself to you unprompted, and he did a better job at hiding his surprise than Dick.

Everybody did, in fact. Jason winked at Damian as he congratulated him, Stephanie said she was happy for the two of you, and Cassandra stared straight into your soul before giving you a small smile.

Just when you thought things would go smoothly, somebody else entered the room and your stomach dropped.

Bruce stood in front of you and Damian, seemingly at a loss of words.

“I’m glad you could make it.”

Damian have his father a curt nod. Seeing his eyes deviate toward you, he opened his mouth to introduce you.

You were quicker. It was only fair, he hadn’t made you introduce him to your mother and he had already done the work with his siblings.

Bruce wasn’t interested in hiding his shock upon hearing you were Damian’s girlfriend. “You didn’t say anything about a girlfriend at work.”

“I didn’t find it appropriate,” Damian explained with ease.

“We should have dinner next week so we can get to know you better,” Bruce suggested, eyes solely on you.

“O—of course, sir.” What were you getting yourself into?

“I wish we had more time tonight,” Bruce continued, “but our guests will be arriving any moment now.”

Bruce was proven right as Alfred announced the arrival of a few guests.

Throughout the night, Damian watched you charm people he had never cared for and people he had once struggled to have in his pocket alike.

He felt you lace your arm with his and follow the pattern of his steps to walk in sync with him.

He heard you laugh with his siblings and gossip with Stephanie as if you had known them for years.

He became aware of the warmth of your palms and the coldness of your fingers as you danced.

And he couldn’t bear it.

Damian slowly slid his arm off yours and excused himself.

You decided to give him space. He would’ve asked you to go with him if he wanted your company.

It was clear that you weren’t the only one who was overwhelmed, and at the end of the night, he was the one who needed to look good. He deserved a break.

Damian roamed the main hallway, so familiar yet so foreign. Nothing had changed except for him and said changes weren’t unwelcome.

In hindsight, the only unwelcome thing he could find was how much he was dreading the end of the night.

He found his way back to the living room and stood in front of the window. He could see a couple hiding behind Alfred’s perfectly trimmed bushes, presumably making out.

Not many minutes passed before he heard approaching steps. He should’ve expected Dick to follow him.

“I didn’t think you’d show up,” Dick broke the silence. “But I’m glad you did. And I’m glad you brought your girlfriend with you.”

Humming, Damian continued staring at the greenery. “I always keep my promises.”

“And secrets, huh. We wouldn’t have known you had a girlfriend if you hadn’t come.”

“I suppose not.”

“You okay? I know you don’t want to be here, but—“

Damian interrupted him, “I am not uncomfortable here. Surprisingly.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?”

Damian tore his eyes off the window and glared at Dick.

“You know I’m joking.”

Sighing, Damian nodded. “I’m not used to… this.”

“Care to be more specific?”

“Not really.”

Dick stayed silent, respecting Damian’s line. The two of them enjoyed a silent moment together, staring out of the window.

A snicker blurted out of Dick as he caught sight of the couple Damian had spotted. Both were doing a poor job at fixing their attire.

Damian huffed a laugh, sharing an amused look with his brother.

“We should go back before Bruce starts the toast.”

Damian motioned for his brother to lead the way.

He took his spot next to you, snaking his arm around your waist. You leaned into his touch, feeling his steady breathing.

He didn’t give a single sign of being upset, so you asked him in a whisper, “Everything okay?”

“Don’t worry,” he answered in your ear.

You fought against the shiver the gesture sent down your spine.

════════════════════════

Leaving Wayne Manor was harder than you expected it to be. You would never judge Damian for wanting to be away from his family, he had his reasons, you simply didn’t share the sentiment.

You managed to fit easily with them, and what marveled you the most was how little you had to pretend to be somebody else.

The sight of your building saddened you. Everything would be over in a few minutes, just what you had wanted the day before, and you weren’t looking forward to it.

Walking down the hallway in silence, you were about to say good night as you approached his door when Damian asked, “Can you come in for a little bit?”

You nodded, not ready for the night to end. “Sure.”

Damian unlocked his door and allowed you to get in first, turning the lights on as he entered the apartment behind you.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

You shook your head. “I drank enough already.”

He shed his blazer, going straight to the point, “Travis was right.”

His comment took you aback. You didn’t expect this from Damian. You didn’t even want to believe it. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, you asked, “About what?”

“You should have been with me from the beginning. And I hadn’t even...” He made a face, as though the right words were escaping him. That was a first. “I can’t tell you I love you. Not now, that would be insane. But I’m pretty sure I’m halfway there.”

He undid his tie, speaking still, “I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I started falling for you, I just know it makes all the sense in the world.”

Damian never imagined his life going like this. Romance wasn’t on his list of priorities when he left the manor. Or ever. He wanted to know himself properly, to be his own person, to finally let go of the bottled-up resentment.

He liked to think he had accomplished those things, and he had done so on his own. He was proud of that — of himself.

“You made the bad days worth it without even knowing,” he continued talking. You had never heard him speak this much. “The days in which I believed there was nothing more to myself than what everybody wanted to believe, mostly. You didn’t know a damn thing about me, and if you did then you never showed it. I was just Damian, your neighbor.”

“I—“

He shushed so you would shut up. He wasn’t done. “I was just Damian to you even tonight, surrounded by people who only see me as an extension to my father.”

“I like being just Damian. And for a while, I thought that was it. We’re good friends, we feel comfortable around each other… but the fact that you are gorgeous was never going to help my case.”

He stopped you before you could say anything. Almost desperate as he said, “I didn’t offer to do this because I wanted you to like me, or because I wanted to know how it felt like to be your partner. I need you to know that.”

“I also need you to know that the only reason why I’m telling you all of this is that I wish I didn’t have to lie when I told my family you were my girlfriend, because I wish you could truly get to know my father… because my family likes you and you like them, and it feels good.”

Getting rid of your coat, you let it fall onto the couch beside you. “Can I talk now?”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

You nodded. “But I want to.” When you were sure he wouldn’t interrupt again, you spoke, “I don’t know what’s going on. I mean, I’m not blind, you’re handsome, and I like spending time with you...”

“But?” he asked, impatient.

“There’s not a but. Let me finish!”

He motioned for you to go on.

“This is new. And I’m... confused?” You shook your head. “Not confused. Maybe surprised?” Chuckling, you messed with your hair. “I was going to distance myself from you for a little while to figure things out. And now I feel like I wouldn’t bear it.”

He swallowed loudly. “I can give you space if that’s what you need.”

“No.” It wasn’t what you needed, it couldn’t be when you felt the most comfortable around him.

Damian sat down, watching you. He liked doing it, following the movement of your lips as you spoke, and the way your hands seemed to have a mind of their own.

“I like being just Damian,” he repeated. “But I would love to be your Damian.”

Flushed, you admitted, “I like the sound of that.”

“Would you like to be my (Name)?” he asked softly.

“I would love to.”

“We can take things slow,” he assured you, eyes dancing all over your face. “I don’t want to pressure you or myself.”

You sat next to him. “It’s fine by me.”

Damian softly smiled. He placed his hand on top of yours, gripping it as his warmth eased the coldness of your fingers.

You returned the smile. “What a week, huh?”

“Eventful,” he conceded, scooting closer to you.

“At least we had an exciting end of the year.”

He playfully narrowed his eyes. “Is the Venn diagram between your idea of excitement and your idea of anxiety a perfect circle?”

You elbowed him on the side. “It wasn’t that bad.” Turning to look at him, you added, “Was it?”

Shaking his head, he stared at your lips as he whispered, “Should we make it more exciting?”

You licked your bottom lip, lightly leaning in. “It’s only fair.”

Damian left the playfulness to the side and captured your lips between his. The kiss was short and chaste, a perfectly acceptable first kiss between people who hadn’t known what they felt for each other until a few days ago.

But you soon remembered that it didn’t have to stop there. That you didn’t want it to. So you kissed him again, and Damian allowed you to set the pace at first.

Withdrawing his hand from yours, he wrapped his arm around your neck and brought you closer, prompting you to place your farthest hand on his shoulder as you tilted your head.

You felt him smile against your lips before the pressure of his mouth on yours became harsher.

Thankfully, you wouldn’t need a new identity. You liked yours very much.

[copperpieceharlot]

Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU

haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)

Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.

Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.

Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”

Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.

Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)

Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)

NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!

The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.

Moving on. Villains!

Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.

Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.

Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.

Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.

Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.

The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.

I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.

Other stuff!

The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.

The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.

So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:

s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.

mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.

late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.

s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.

s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out

early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.

mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.

late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.

s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.

s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.

s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.

s3 e1: fuck dude idk.

early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.

mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.

s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.

s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.

early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)

immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation

mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree

s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.

s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.

the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Sunflower - Harry Styles AU Series (Volume 10)

The year is 1977 and it’s officially summertime. Y/N is spending it with her family at the Malibu Breeze Hotel, where she meets, aspiring musician, Harry Styles. The two clash in the beginning, but soon realize they may just need each other in the end. Find out just how life changing one summer can be in Sunflower, a Harry Styles AU.          

 Vol. 1 Vol. 2  Vol. 3 Vol. 4. Vol. 5 Vol. 6  Vol. 7   Vol. 8   Vol. 9 

**

I didn’t sleep a wink in the remaining hours of the night. I was asleep, yes, but I feel more exhausted now than before I even laid down. The events of last night replayed in my head causing my stomach to lurch. I ran to the bathroom emptying my stomach’s contents, not that there was anything in there to begin with.

Marianne rushed into the bathroom, her eyes filled with concern as she sighed, “Let’s get you cleaned up.” she said.

She walked over to the sink, wetting a washcloth and wiping around my mouth, “Want to talk about what happened?”

“It all happened so fast,” I sniffled. “Harry and I were talking after rehearsals. He walked me back to the hotel and William showed up. He made threats and said some things about me and pushed me… next thing I know he and Harry are throwing fists and rolling around in the sand. I tried breaking it up, but it didn’t work. I got Jasper and Mitch… Harry wouldn’t even look at me after.”

“Damn, little sister,” she sighed. “I’ve seen some crazy shit go down at the discos, but I’ve never had two men fighting over me.”

“They weren’t fighting over me, at least, not as a whole. William’s pissed at the fact that I don’t want him and apparently that never happens. Harry just hates him,” I sighed.

“I’m starting to hate Daddy’s little boy, too,” she said.

“I need to talk to Mom and Dad,” I sighed. “And Harry. I need to make sure I didn’t fuck things up with him… and the band.”

“I’ll talk to Mom and Dad,” she said. “I already told you I would. You get washed up, changed, and go see Harry.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” I whispered.

“Then walk away and try again later,” she said. “He may just need some space.”

I nodded, looking down, hoping that was the least he would need.

**

I stared at Bungalow Valley for ages as I contemplated on my next move. I was supposed to walk straight ahead to Harry’s door and give it a knock, but apparently my legs and feet didn’t get the memo. Most of the employees that lived there were walking out dressed in their uniforms headed to their morning shifts. I wondered if Harry would be going in today with the black eye he was sure to have. Pretty sure The Malibu Breeze frowned upon their staff having such an appearance. Plus, if William was walking around with a black eye and other various bruises, it wouldn’t take long before people put two and two together, if William hadn’t already spread the word.

Not sure if my legs finally woke up or I just didn’t want to seem like a stalker anymore, but I finally started moving towards Harry’s place. I really hoped I didn’t run into a situation like the previous morning, but that was obviously a chance, so I mentally prepared myself as best I could.

I tapped on the door and waited for a bit before Jasper opened the door.

“Y/N?” He asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see him… talk to him about last night,” I answered.

“I don’t know-” Jasper replied.

“Let her in,” a muffled voice called out from behind him.

Jasper sighed, stepping aside and letting me walk inside. I didn’t know what to expect when I walked in, but Harry’s face wasn’t nearly as bad as I would have thought. He only had a few cuts, some bruising, and a little swelling. It definitely could have been worse.

“I’ll let you two have some privacy,” Jasper coughed before walking out the door.

“Hi,” I breathed out, looking over at Harry.

“This wasn’t your fault,” Harry blurted out.

“What?” I asked.

“You feel bad and like this was your fault, it’s not,” he said.

“How is it not?” I sighed. “William wouldn’t have said shit to you, if I hadn’t-”

“William is an ass. It’s not the first time we’ve had a run in,” Harry said. “But it is the first time, it got that bad.”

“Which was probably because of me,” I sighed.

“Maybe a little,” he winced.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Like shit,” he groaned. “But I’ll live. Luckily, today’s my day off, so I don’t have to worry about explaining why my eye is about two sizes too big.”

I walked over to him, gently running my hand over his injuries. He tenses under my touch a little bit before relaxing into it.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I feel horrible,” I sighed.

“Okay, how would you be feeling if you didn’t feel guilty?” He asked.

“Fine,” I sighed. “He didn’t hurt me... “

“Thank fuck,” he sighed. “I swear when he put his hands on you…” his hands tightened into a fist.

I grabbed his hand, lacing my fingers with his, “We never really got to finish our conversation from last night…”

“We should probably do that, huh?” He forced a laugh.

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“So, why did you come here yesterday?” He asked.

“I need to know something,” I told him.

“And what’s that?” He asked.

“I know we’ve only been on one date and everything else has been a bit of a hot mess, but am I just a fling for you? Just someone for right now until you get what you want and then you’re moving on?” I whispered.

My words hang in the air as I wait for his response. The more time that goes by the more I start to worry about what his answer is going to be.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Look, I’m not the settle down type of guy. Not because I don’t want to be, but because my main focus is music, Y/N. I can’t commit to someone when I’m wanting to live a life of traveling the world and being on a stage most nights out of the week.”

My heart sinks down as he speaks, and so does my gaze.

“But,” he whispered, putting his hand under my chin, causing me to look up at him. “I’ve never felt whatever the fuck I’m feeling with you. I don’t know what this is or where this is gonna go, but I sure as hell want to find out.”

**

Harry and I chatted for the next half hour before eventually cuddling together on his bed. Both of us were laid back, his arms around me, and my head on his chest. Occasionally, I felt his lips graze the top of my head and I couldn’t help, but smile. I glanced over at the clock on his bedside table and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing his hand along my back.

“I should probably head back,” I told him. “My sister… She's supposed to talk to our parents about the William situation. I’m not sure how they’re going to take it, so I should probably be there to face the music.”

Harry nodded before the two of you sat up, “Speaking of music,” he said. “Instead of rehearsal tonight, would you want..would you want to maybe have a writing session with me?

“You want me to write with you?” I asked. “But I thought you’re the only one to write songs for the band.”

“I am, I mean, I have been,” he said. “But obviously… I’m doing something wrong. No one likes these new songs and I just… I need our set to be amazing. To stick out.”

“I get it,” I nodded. “And I’ll do it. Meet up here?”

“Yeah, then we can walk down to my favorite spot, it’s private so no one should bother us,” he said.

“Should I inform someone of my whereabouts in case you try to kill me?” I joked.

“Now, where’s the fun in that love,” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes, getting off the bed and walking towards the door.

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” I told him.

“And I’m happy that dick didn’t hurt you,” he said pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I smiled a bit, a blush rising to my face, “I’ll see you tonight then?”

“I better,” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss against my cheek.

**

When I made it back to the hotel, I wasn’t sure what I would be walking into. I also didn’t know if they would still be in the dining area or back in the hotel. Surely, if the conversation got too heated, my parents would suggest for them to all head back to the room. They probably wondered where I was and I wasn’t the one telling them about the situation. Hopefully, Marianne told them I needed some time to think and went for a walk on the beach.

Which wasn’t exactly a lie.

Once I was inside the hotel, my stomach started doing weird things like jumping around. I was nervous, not only for the conversation with my parents, but also at the possibility of running into William. I did not want to face him anytime soon because I don’t know how I would react around him. He went too fucking far this time and I didn’t plan on holding back anymore.

I briefly glanced around the dining area to see if my family was still in there, no one was sitting at our table, but the dishes had yet to be cleared off, so I’m sure they just left. I didn’t know if this was a good sign or not, but I headed up to our room anyway. Once I got to our floor, I didn’t hear any sort of shouting, so far so good, I thought.

But looks or in this case, hearing, could be deceiving. I poked my head in our room to see if Marianne was in there, but it was empty.

“Shit,” I muttered.

I sighed, closing the door and went to the room next to our’s that belonged to our parents. I didn’t have to bother knocking because the door was unlocked. It only took a simple twist and push before I opened it up. The three of them sat in the living area of my parent’s suite and they all looked up the moment I walked in.

“Y/N,” my father breathed out. “Come in.”

My mother’s gaze was on the floor as I walked over. I glanced over in Marianne's direction, hoping to get a little input on what to expect, but she was giving me her best poker face.  

“Your sister shared some things with us this morning,” he said, quietly. “And we would like to hear from you, what exactly happened with William.”

I sighed, sitting down, “William has always been… not the best since we started spending time with him. He’s acted arrogant and rude towards most everyone he comes across. There were times he suggested we go somewhere private, I refused. Anytime I told him I didn’t want to pursue anything with him, he threatened to tell his father whatever he thought would make him upset and potentially fire you. At first, I believed him, and kept trying to be nice, but eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. Last night, I met up with him for a party and told him I didn’t want anything to do with him. He seemed aggravated, but got over it, so I thought. He ended up following me home, where he ran into me walking with one of the hotel employees, Harry. He was uh, walking me back to the hotel, when William saw us, he got mad. Threatened to get Harry fired and you, William called me some names and pushed me down and got into a fight with Harry after he defended me,” I blurted out.

I definitely didn’t mean to name drop Harry or that I was with him, not yet at least, but once I started telling the story it just came out.

“I’m so sorry, you felt pressured to spend time with him,” My father said. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore. William left this morning with some friends for a change of scenery.”

“How do you-” I started.

“My boss told me,” my father answered. “He noticed William when he came home last night. Of course, William tried to tell him a lie about what happened, but his father didn’t believe him.”

“Wow,” I whispered.

“This isn’t the first time William has had issues like this,” he started. “Every summer he acts like his the owner of the hotel and gets in fights because of his actions. I wish I had known that before I introduced the two of you.”

“It’s okay,” I told him. “You didn’t know and besides, he didn’t hurt me, not really. Just more of an annoyance and a bit angry.”

“Well, on the bright side, there’s only a few weeks left in the summer before you’re off to University and you can put this all behind you,” he said walking over and hugging you. “Now, I need to get on to work, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I-uh… yeah,” I nodded.

“Great, I’ll see everyone later,” he said, before grabbing his hat and leaving the room.

My mother gave me a small smile, I noticed she didn’t say anything the entire conversation. I thought about asking her something, but she got up from her chair and walked into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked.

“I think she blames herself,” Marianne stated. “She pushed William on to you, to us, more than Daddy did.”

“I don’t blame her though,” I told her.

“She’ll figure it out eventually,” she said. “She has to process what happened.”

“I think we all do,” I whispered.

Marianne shrugs before leaving to go back to our room. I sighed, getting up and heading out to the balcony of my parent’s room. It was bigger than ours, which makes sense given the size of their room compared to ours. The wind had picked up and so had the sound of the waves below. Seagulls flew by every so often, ready to drop down to get food from the unexpecting beachgoers.

I ran my hands through my hair, sighing with relief now that the William situation seemed to be over, but there was still something looming above my head. Something I’m going to have to tell my parents sooner rather than later, but knowing how deadset my father was about me going to college, that conversation was going to be a lot harder to have.

Which is why I’m going to put it off until I can’t put it off any more, when we snag that record deal.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Watch

a/n: I 1000000% know that unless you’ve read my fic The Dragon Kings Treasure, this is going to be TOTALLY out of context and you will likely have literally no idea about what’s going on or their history. I’ll be posting this little snippet in my AO3 post at the end of the story if you feel like you’d rather read the full thing first before you read this. There’s some spoilers in this, so if you’ve been planning on reading TDKT and haven’t yet, I’d suggest doing that first for context

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC) (Fantasy AU)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Romance / Domestic / Fantasy AU

Story Warnings: Sex (vaginal), hand job, inhuman extremities (yes, dick) and mutations (dragon), size difference, rough sex, dirty talk, name calling, breeding (sorta), stomach bulge, Bakugou’s insecure, Koge’s horny

Words: 5,110

Written for the @bnhabookclub​​ ‘s members bingo event!

Crossed off: Mirror Sex

Bingo Masterlist

Art in banner by me

“I am actually going to kill you, Koge.” 

“Just do it gently, okay?” 

Bakugou grumbled at the completely unbothered response from his lover, glowering at her through a mirror. Laying on his stomach, sprawled out on their bed, the young Lord found himself beyond agitated with himself and with his wife, but not for any regular old reason. No, the problem was something that no one could have ever predicted, and it was something that couldn’t be stopped, either. Reversing the process was also out of the question, so he was condemned to adjust himself to the changes of his body, both internal and external. But, compliance didn’t correlate to happiness in this situation, especially not when paired with the pain and frustrations that came with the changes. 

It didn’t help that his wife was more that ecstatic about his newfound dragon extremities. The thick, dark red tail that protruded from the base of his hips and horns perched atop his head were the current bane of his existence, as the past few months of them growing into place were like putting him through daily torture. The changes to his hands and the horns, he had gotten used to long ago, but the currently swaying scaled appendage that protruded from his hips had been the most difficult to accept. It was large and cumbersome, always knocking things over, hitting people, or even causing him to trip over his own feet. Even now, as it knocked annoyingly against his own legs, he wished that he could just cut the damn thing off. Why did it even have to grow in the first place? 

Well, he knew why. 

His wife. The absolute love of his life and mother to his son, the woman he had chosen to be always by his side and Queen of his land. She was the reason this had happened to him, or, at least, a large percentage of it. The rest was his own bloodline, his family and heritage, but this wasn’t exactly something he had expected to happen. His wife, being a dragon halfling, had always sported her dragon features when in her human form, and had the presence, scents, and mannerisms of one at all times. Sure, she could fit in with humans, outside of her inability to register their words if they weren’t dragonborn of some kind, but in the end, she was a dragon. That fact is what prompted these changes in him that he couldn’t control. 

It all went back to his bloodline. His family had always had dragon blood, but the last that had dragon features, that he could remember, was his great grandfather. Since then, each royal child born didn’t have physical dragon features, nor could they change into a dragon. All they had was the magic. Until now. Just being with his wife had prompted a change within him, starting out small at first with the ability to purr and his senses more enhanced than they had already been. Then came the changes to his hands, red scales coating the top and down along his wrist and half of his forearm, with thicker skin along his palms and long claws. This change was quick, only a few days of inability to use his hands or take care of the horrible itch that came with it on his own, though Koge was more than willing to help him with that. In truth, Bakugou didn’t think he could have gotten through any of the changes without her help. She knew how to soothe the pain of his horns growing in and massaged his back and tail as it grew over many weeks. 

Now, there was no pain. All that was left was to adjust. New clothes, new sleeping positions, new feelings beneath the now sensitive skin of his fingers and palms. The new smells, sounds, and urges, they all required a huge adjustment, but the tail. The tail was the worst of them all. 

“Why a fucking tail?” Bakugou whined into the sheets, turning his face into the soft plush fabric to keep his glare off the swaying appendage. “The horns are fine. The hands suck. But a fucking tail?! Koge, I hate it.”

“It did grow in quite big in the end, but it’s really pretty-” 

“-Don’t call it pretty-!”

“-And handsome. Rugged. Who knew you had such strong dragon blood that it would come out looking like this!” Scooting her petite body closer, Koge’s fingers traced lightly down his spine, purring sweetly when she breached the hump of his tail. “I love it. I can’t wait until you get more control over it so I can cuddle in it.” 

“Tch, and what the fuck is wrong with my arms, huh?!” 

“You can’t tell, Katsuki, but your tail is way warmer than your arms.” 

In agitation of her argument, his tail swished about roughly, making Koge giggle softly as pillows were knocked from the bed. To avoid getting hit, Koge flopped down to lay up against his side, wiggling and nudging herself beneath his arm until he was forced onto his side, hugging her to him tightly in an attempted punishment. Nuzzling his face into her hair, he felt instantly calmed by the sweet sounds of her purr, which radiated through his mind like a million bees, making his heart and stomach flutter. Then, within no time, his own deep rumbling began, his purr completely swallowing hers in intensity. 

“Ooh see, you can’t be that mad if you start purring so easily.” Koge nuzzled her face up against his neck, her tail falling to rest over his legs, intertwining with his as he calmed. Holding her body in closer, Bakugou scoffed quietly, lifting his head so he could see her face. 

“You use that against me. Because I can’t help it.” 

“Why can’t you help it?” Koge nuzzled her nose against his tenderly, smiling at the sight of his reptilian pupils dilating in pleasurable response to her affections. “You can’t hide your mushy feelings from me, now. Of course I might take advantage of that sometimes.” 

“I can’t help it for obvious fucking reasons.” Bakugou’s snarl and growl of his voice didn’t match his touch or change in the pitch of his purr, spurred on by Koge letting her leg rest over his hips so she could be closer to him. “I love your stupid ass, of course I’m going to start up if you do.” 

“It’s so cute!” She placed a soft kiss on his lips, though found herself trapped for more than just a few moments as he refused to let her pull away, his hand even slipping up her back to rest against the back of her head. “Mm… I didn’t expect your dragon blood to make you so… affectionate.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” With a growl against her lips, Bakugou rolled them over so she was beneath him, taking both of her arms to pin them up above her head, fingers lacing with hers tenderly. “I’m not any more affectionate than I was, dumbass.” Squeezing his hips playfully with her knees, Koge’s smile grew sly. 

“I just expected you to become more aggressive and territorial. But instead you’re super sweet, purring, and cuddly. Just like a little pup.” 

“Excuse me?!” Bakugou’s purr was cut short with his rush of agitation, his voice booming through their large chambers as Koge laughed. “I’m not a fucking whelp! You take that back!” 

“What are you gonna do about it, pup?” Koge couldn’t resist a grin at the flushing of his cheeks, baring her fangs to him playfully. “Gonna whine and spew a little fire out of your nose? Or are you gonna put me in my place?” 

With a frustrated growl, Bakugou could only glare down at her for a moment before pulling away, sitting up turning to sit on the edge of the bed, once again facing the mirror. “Oh fuck off! You know I can’t!” 

Frowning as guilt began to creep up on her, Koge sat up as well, placing her hand gingerly on his back. “Ah Katsuki, I’m sorry. I… I’ve just been feeling a little frisky lately, especially since that… new change happened. I’m… It’s a bit hard for me to control myself.” 

“Tch… It’s fine.” Bakugou’s glare was once again locked on his own reflection, though the center of his focus was his hips. There was another change to his body, one that he had been doing everything he could to hide from her until recently and had continually hoped that it would just vanish. It happened at the worst time, too, as Koge had just gotten to where she was comfortable making love to him again after further recovering from her trauma as a slave. They had almost gotten back to normal, and then his bloodline had to make the biggest dick move ever. Quite literally, in fact. 

His manhood had changed to further match his outward extremities. It wasn’t all that extreme, but it was enough to not only make him horrifically self-conscious about it, but fear that he would never properly have sex again. It had grown, in length and girth, with mostly human characteristics, outside of scales at the base that wrapped back around his hips to his tail, a series of ridges along the sides, and a more angled tip. The foreskin he had always sported did little to hide the changes, even when completely flaccid, though hiding it at all was impossible at this point. 

With heightened senses and urges, Bakugou found himself craving Koge’s attention, affection, and body more frequently than he had before. They had gotten used to it when his dick was normal, but for a few weeks, now, he had to suffer through the urges without being able to satisfy himself in any way. At first, he came up with excuses as to why he didn’t want to or couldn’t, mostly concerning the pain of his tail - which wasn’t completely a lie - just so that he could avoid the situation all together. But much to his dismay, Koge was quite clever, and she picked up on his odd behavior quickly. 

“Your dick changed, didn’t it?” She had cornered him one morning when she had tried to come onto him right before he got into the bath. “Let me see it!” 

He had let her, of course, but that only made things worse for him. She wasn’t put off by the changes in the slightest, nor was she concerned that it would be an issue. But he was, and he couldn’t quite get the fear out of his head. Of course, he knew that he would have to come to terms with it eventually and try to do something with this change, even if that jump was going to be difficult. Each time Koge offered to work with him or try anything, he’d back out, leaving him with a very painful experience of having to let his raging boner settle on its own. He couldn’t quite find it within himself to masturbate to get rid of the buildup or his urges, as even the feeling and pleasures were different and way more intense than what he was used to. Out of everything, his dick was the last thing he expected to change, and it had oddly taken the biggest mental toll on him. 

His erections were impossible to hide. Any touch that wasn’t his clothing or taking a piss felt like white hot lightning sparking through his body. Sitting or laying were made even more awkward when paired with his tail. He couldn’t properly make love to his wife. He couldn’t pleasure himself. He had to learn how to not walk awkwardly. Any clothes that could accommodate his tail still couldn’t handle his new manhood. 

He was different from head to toe, and that bothered him more than he was willing to say out loud. In the end, he didn’t need to say anything. Koge could see it all, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating for her, too. She wanted to help him adjust, more than anything, but it was impossible if he continually blocked himself off like this. Even now, he was trying to hide his obvious boner with his arms, and the discomfort on his expression was worrisome. He may be too reluctant to do something about it himself, but Koge knew that eventually, she’d have to show him that it was okay. By ‘eventually’, she knew that it would have to be now, while the subject was brought to the front and they had no chance of being interrupted. 

“Katsuki,” Koge purred near his ear softly, resting her body against his back while her arms came to rest over his broad shoulders. “Let me try-” 

“-Koge-” 

“- Just a little. You can’t keep going like this. We can’t keep going like this. Sooner or later, you have to let me face the dragon dick. If you just let me try, you’ll see that it’ll be okay.” 

Bakugou glowered at his lover out of the corner of his eye, still hunched over his own body in reluctance and worry. “You haven’t seen it erect yet, Koge. It’s… You can’t take it.” 

“You underestimate me a little, I think.” Koge nuzzled her nose against his cheek, giving him a firm kiss on the flushed skin. “I’m not human, remember? And your body is reacting to me. I’ll show you that I can take it just fine. Please?” 

“I’ll feel like shit if it doesn’t work out…” 

“Or you’ll continue to feel like shit if you never try. Right?” 

“Tch… You’re right.” 

Scooting off the bed, Koge stood in front of him, holding both of her hands out towards him. “Well? Let me help you, Katsuki. I promise it will feel good for both of us.” Although he wanted to take her hands immediately, Bakugou still hesitated, glancing over her body before catching her gentle gaze. Just looking at her like this, clad in nothing but a white sleeping gown, so flushed and unexpecting, had him immediately struggling not to snatch her off her feet and pin her onto the bed beneath him. The thought had his manhood straining, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to take this type of painful tension any longer. He needed to get past this, so he shifted himself to sit up, taking both of her hands tenderly in acceptance of her help. 

Smiling, Koge stepped in closer to stand between his legs, letting her hands slide up his arms with a slow and gentle touch that had goosebumps prickling along his skin. As she caressed the sides of his neck, his hands took hold of her petite hips, scooting himself closer to the edge of the bed to be able to pull her body flush against him. It was so incredibly difficult to hold himself back, the feeling of her body beneath his hands and the scent of her arousal completely overwhelming him, but the tender kisses she placed on his lips helped keep him grounded. Her purr soothed him, almost to the point that he felt as if he were floating, not noticing her hands slip down between their bodies until they sneaked beneath his pants to grip the source of his problems. 

At first, the hiss that escaped from between his teeth was from the chill of her hands, until her fingers traced along the prominent ridges, each little bump feeling as if she were stroking his tip. Or, what he remembered stimulation to his tip feeling like when he still had a normal dick. Then, the hiss grew into a deep growl, his entire body stiffening and his hands slipping around to grip her backside as she stroked him with both hands, up and down the aching shaft while avoiding the tip. “Mm, fuck- Yeah, tighter. That’s it-!” 

“My hands can’t even wrap around it all the way, Katsuki. And you’re dribbling so much cum already. It’s so warm.” Taking half a step back, Koge shifted his pants down out of the way to free him completely, keeping a little space between them so she could see her work. She wasn’t the only one watching, Bakugou’s eyes locked on the way her hands moved, displacing the slowly flowing precum with each firm stroke up and down his shaft. With the liquid acting as a lubricant, Koge was able to increase her speed, stroking all the way from the base to right before the tip. Before long, Bakugou’s entire body was trembling, his face shoved into her shoulder as he struggled to control his urges to pant and moan. 

“Stop teasing me, Koge!” 

“If I go there, you’ll cum really quick.” 

“Do it!” 

The growling demand made Koge bite her bottom lip, stroking from the base all the way back up to the tip, which immediately forced a trembling moan from his lips as he pulled her body back in closer. He was throbbing in her hands by now, each new stroke across his sensitive tip sending him further into an uncontrollable ecstasy. Within no time, what Koge had warned came to fruition, with Bakugou cumming after a few teasing strokes of her thumb around his tip. The petite woman didn’t expect it, of course, nor did she expect Bakugou to tug her body back up against him while rutting his hips forward so his cock stroked against the silk of her gown and soft form of her stomach. Within seconds, the front of the gown was drenched with his cum, the load much larger than either of them could have really expected. It stuck fast to Koge’s skin, hot and thick, coating her fingers and soaking through the thin fabric of her gown to dribble down her stomach. 

Panting as he came down from his high, Bakugou kept his face shoved into her shoulder, his entire body tingling with the weight of his release. “Fuck… That’s so much more than before…” 

“If you mean cum, then yeah, that’s a lot.” Koge moved back from him a bit, prompting Bakugou to sit up himself and observe the damage. One hand still lightly stroking up and down his still hard shaft, Koge brought the other to her lips, licking the cum from her fingers. “Mm, yummy. You even taste better, Katsuki.” 

“That’s a weird thing to notice.” Bakugou glowered up at his lover as she took another step back, first wiping her hands on her already ruined shift before pulling her arms inside and out through the neck opening. With it being so oversized, and with the added weight of the liquid that soaked it, it fell around her feet, leaving her bare. Just like nearly every time he saw her like this, Bakugou felt a lump grow in his throat, the glow of her pale skin in the dim light bringing on the urge to just touch and squeeze. Though, even as the chance presented itself to him with her crawling up onto his lap, he felt frozen, the nerves of still not being able to do this properly creeping back up on him. “Koge-” 

“Shh,” Holding onto his shoulders for support and facing him, Koge straddled his lap, knees firmly dug into the mattress. Not quite sitting down onto him yet, the halfling arched her backside out, turning her head a bit to look over her shoulder at the mirror behind them. “Look, Katsuki. See how wet you make me? How badly my body wants you?” 

Tearing his eyes off her collarbone area to look over her shoulder as well, the fire in Bakugou’s chest grew hotter from the view she presented to him, having to clench his teeth together to keep him from acting out. Dripping with her essence, Koge’s pussy was incredibly enticing, puffy, and pink with the need for the attention she had been denied all this time. Even still, she was so incredibly small compared to him, and her petite body just didn’t seem like it would be able to take him comfortably. “Koge… It won’t-” 

“It will,” Shifting her hips up, Koge let his cock rest between her legs, lowering herself down just enough to be able to grind against him. “I want your cock inside me so badly, Katsuki.” Cupping his cheeks, Koge kept her lips close to his, moaning softly with the stimulation to her clit. “Please let me. I’m begging you. Can’t you feel how hot my body is for you?” 

Gripping onto her hips tightly, Bakugou lightly dug his claws into her skin in frustration, which only prompted more vigorous efforts from his wife. Of course he wanted this. He wanted to fill her up to the brim and fuck her until she was an absolute mess. And he could. She wanted it. Then, with a teasing swipe of her cunt along his tip, she broke his restraint, and all he wanted was to be inside her. With a low growl, he reached up and took a fist full of her hair into his grip at the base of her head, firm enough to make her gasp and stop the rolling of her hips. 

“Fine.” Bakugou growled against her jawline, keeping her head firmly pulled back to keep her submissive and in place. “But you’d better be able to take it.” With that, his other hand guided her hips up and back, his tip slipping inside of her with ease. Immediately, a sharp gasp erupted from her throat, both of her hands moving back to clutch onto his shoulders while it took every ounce of Bakugou’s self-control not to slam her down all the way. Instead, he urged her down inch by inch, her chest heaving and body trembling as she took him in. By the time he was completely sheathed inside her, Koge was already nothing more than a panting mess, eyes rolled back, and nails dug into his skin. “Look at you. Fucking ruined already.” 

The sound of his voice helped pull her back, biting down onto her bottom lip when he released her hair and catching his gaze. “I-I can take it, though. See? I just… Mm, it feels so good, I can’t… I can’t move.” Koge looked back over her shoulder again to see them, her cheeks flushing bright red at how huge he looked stretching her out like this. 

Smirking, Bakugou pressed his lips against her temple, his eyes on their reflection as well. “Let me help you.” Finding that they were sufficiently lubricated, both from her and from his still present cum, Bakugou was easily able to pull her hips up and back down again, using his strength to make her bounce on his cock. The moans that escaped from her lips were like none he had heard before, the pure ecstasy drowning out all rational thought she may have had left. Within no time, she had taken over the rhythm, slamming her hips down onto him from tip to base with only the pleasure driving her forward. 

Resting back on his hands to keep them supported, Bakugou couldn’t get his eyes off their reflection, just seeing her body bounce and the way his cock vanished inside her hypnotizing him completely. She could take him, and the feeling of being one with her again like this was beyond what he would consider to be euphoria. Though, it was when she began to grind her hips that he nearly lost his control, tearing his eyes away from the mirror to look down at her. Leaning back with her hands supported on his knees, Koge rolled her hips with just as much effort as she had been before, though her eyes were locked on her stomach. 

“F-fuck-!” Overwhelmed with the pleasure, tears began to roll down her brightly flushed cheeks, though they were of little consequence. “Fuck! It’s so good! Your cock is so good! So deep inside me! You can…- ah! You can see it!” Sure enough, with each passing roll of her hips, a bulge was visible in her lower abdomen, instantly bringing a deep growl of satisfaction from Bakugou’s chest. 

“Yeah? You like seeing that while you fuck yourself on my cock, Koge?” One arm still behind him for support, his other hand came up to grip her hip, urging her to be more aggressive. “How I fill up that slutty fucking pussy?” 

“Yes!” Koge’s voice squeaked and trembled, struggling to keep up the momentum against the pleasure. “I love it!” 

“Well here, let me give you a better view.” Simultaneously standing up and scooping her body up off his cock, Bakugou made his way over to the mirror, turning her so that her back was pressed against his torso while supporting and spreading open her legs. Puzzled, Koge could only stare at their reflections, watching his cock twitch and her essence leak from her cunt that was aching for his return. With this view, she could truly see the size of him compared to her, making her feel suddenly so small and vulnerable, yet she wanted his cock back inside her more than anything in that moment. 

“K-Katsuki-!” 

“What, baby? You want it back inside you?” 

“Please!” Koge flexed her feet and toes impatiently, sniffling against her stuffed-up nose that came along with the tears. “Please, Katsuki! Put it back inside- a-ah!!” Clenching her eyes shut tightly, Koge leaned her head back against his shoulder at the feeling of his tip slipping back inside her, though her reaction was cut short by Bakugou’s deep and demanding growl in her ear. 

“Lift your head up and watch, you horny bitch. I want you to watch how my cock stretches out that tight little cunt.” 

Taking in trembling breaths, Koge weakly lifted her head, teary gaze locked back on their reflections. She watched as demanded, gasping and hiccupping as each inch vanished inside her, until he had filled her up to the base. In this position, the bulge in her lower abdomen was even more visible, though she didn’t have much time to take it all in before he started to thrust his hips up into her. A squeal escaped her parted lips with the first rough thrust, sending more pleasured tears cascading down her cheeks as he fucked her. With him in control, it felt like a completely different experience, her mind no longer having to focus on attempting to move. 

Now, all she had was him, fucking her relentlessly while she rested secure against his chest. The visual of them only made her hotter, able to see the way his cock ravaged her, his large hands supporting her legs, her breasts bouncing with the movement, and even his expression. That is what she loved to watch the most, how his expression was contorted with the pleasure and he was absolutely lost in it. Though, his eyes were on the reflection as well, and they eventually caught hers staring at his face. 

Bakugou felt himself immediately overwhelmed with the state of her ruined body, limp in his grip and completely drunk with pleasure. He wanted to destroy her more, to sink his teeth and claws into her silky flesh until she was marked head to toe by him. And yet, he wanted to hold and caress her, just to feel her tender touch along his burning skin. He wanted all of her and more. “What, Koge? Is it too much for you?”

“N-no-!”

“No?”

“No! I-I love it! I love it! Fuck-!” Koge leaned her head back, eyes rolling up as Bakugou adjusted the position to slam even harder into her. “Yes! I-I haven’t stopped cumming since you put it inside me-! I can’t think!”

“You’re such a good girl. You want my cum, baby?”

“Yes! Yes, I want it! Please fill me up! Breed me! I’m begging you!” 

Something animalistic snapped inside Bakugou with her plea, and without a second thought, he turned and shoved her face down into the bed, keeping her hips up in his firm grip as he fucked her mercilessly. Koge’s voice once again peaked, clutching onto the sheets as she moaned and cried into them. The new aggression and dominance he was displaying had her entire body screaming to have his cum inside her, the urge to mate with him so strong that she couldn’t ignore it. All she could sense was him, from his scent to the taste his cum had left on her lips, and without him she knew she would surely go insane. 

“Such an obedient little mate,” Bakugou’s grunts and moans began to mix with a deep growl, sending prickling goosebumps across Koge’s flushed and sweaty skin. “I’ll fill you up, slut. I’ll make sure you get what you’re begging for.”

Within the next few moments, Bakugou’s thrusts became erratic as he shifted his body closer to hover over her, digging himself in as deep as he could as he released inside her. With each rough buck of his hips into hers, Koge could feel the hot, thick liquid fill her, struggling to find room beside the large presence of his cock. Still, she couldn’t move or say a word, her entire body twitching and pulsing with the remnants of her final orgasm, squeezing his cock and forcing a sharp hiss from his behind his teeth. 

“That’s it, baby. Take it all in.” Taking hold of her ass in his hands, Bakugou spread her open, smirking in satisfaction at the sight of his cum leaking from her cunt around his cock. Slowly, he began to pull out, giving a deep purr at the mess his cum made with his exit, dribbling from her and onto the bed. “Fuck. Your cunt’s too small for all that cum, Koge.” 

Panting as she tried to recover some feeling in her limbs, Koge weakly reached down between her legs, using her petite fingers to stroke along her cum stained pussy, pushing them inside her and spreading herself open. “C’mon, Katsuki… Don’t let it all drip out. I told you to breed me.”

“You think I’m done with you?” Grabbing her by the arms, Bakugou pulled her upper body back against his, one of his hands caressing her neck while he kissed her flushed cheek tenderly. “My pretty mate… I’ll make sure you’re bred properly.”

Smiling, Koge placed her hand on his cheek, guiding his lips down to hers. “Mm… you’d better. Now shove that big cock back inside me. And make sure to use your teeth this time. Don’t be gentle with me.”

“Only if you beg.”