#could have saved them as drafts first i guess but whatever

[osomatsusanki]

I can't believe I wrote a 35k mafukasa fic !!!

[srgntjamesbuckybarnes]

Past, Present, ...

Summary: After sleeping with Bucky after months of comforting him during his nightmares, Y/N returns from a three-week mission to find out she's been replaced.

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Near death, Implying attempted suicide (it's not)

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: Not Beta'd. Dusting this off from the drafts. I wrote this while sleep deprived. Not sure how we got here but the original ending wasn't a happy one. Enjoy whatever this is instead.

How much space is too much?

According to James Bucky Barnes, three weeks isn't enough.

Three weeks on an assignment was enough for Y/N to become homesick. She understood she would have to pause her life to save the world, but what no one informed her was that the rest of the world would continue to play.

“Y/L/N?” A familiar voice shouted.

Adjusting the strap of her duffle bag on her shoulder, Y/N turned her head to find her co-worker jogging towards her. Slanting her eyes, Y/N raised her palm to block out the sun.

“Wilson,” she addressed the man when he was near.

Bent over with his hands on his knees, Sam panted. His sweatshirt stretched across his back making the dark patch of sweat more prominent. Squinting up at Y/N, Sam breathed, “Did you just get back?”

Y/N bobbed her head, adjusting the strap on her shoulder once more for emphasis rather than comfort. She did not need to ask to know Sam just returned from his run. He usually ran with Steve and Bucky, but they always finished well before Sam. It wasn’t uncommon for him to return hours after the super-soldiers.

Pushing off his knees, Sam stood, tilting his head toward one of the many entrances in Avengers Tower. He knew better than to offer to carry her duffle bag. The weight of missions was often packed in the bags they returned with.

Y/N and Sam strolled side by side. Sam only paused to open the door for Y/N. Trekking into the tower, he could finally relax his eyes from the intense sun. The two stood shoulder to shoulder, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

“I thought you were already back,” Sam admitted, watching the light above the elevator doors.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. Her mission was supposed to be longer. If anything, he should have anticipated her return later. Facing the man beside her, she asked, “Why?”

Ding.

Scrambling into the elevator, Sam leaned against the wall across from Y/N. She reflected his behavior, leaning against the wall behind her.

Once the elevator started moving, Sam confessed, “Bucky skipped his run today. I thought I saw you with him before I left. Guess I was wrong.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip, reopening a recently closed wound. She released her lip long enough to confirm what Sam already knew. “You were wrong.” Ignoring the coppery taste flooding her tongue, she drew her bottom lip between her teeth again.

She hadn’t seen her teammates in three weeks. She hadn’t seen Bucky longer. She assumed they were doing great, but Bucky didn't share her thoughts. He denied it, yet he went out of his way to avoid her since their last mission together, since they slept together. How one could be sweet in one moment and cold in another, Y/N would never understand.

Y/N and Bucky started off rocky. He hated her from the moment they met. Bucky was struggling in the field, so Steve asked her to keep an eye on him. Bucky rejected her the second Steve introduced them. He saw through Steve’s plan and stomped his feet like a child. Rather than confirm Bucky’s insinuation, Steve vouched that she deserved to be on the team for her talents, not to babysit Bucky. He even suggested that Y/N and Bucky spar to prove it. Bucky loathed her then. She laid him out several times that day. It was the reason Steve sought her out in the first place. Bucky was a far more experienced fighter than Y/N. He should have won every fight. He lost them all.

Muffled voices were heard from the other side of the doors. Voices Y/N craved to hear since she departed for her mission. When the doors spread, Sam was the first to enter the room. “Hey guys,” he called out, extending his hands toward Y/N, “look who I found.”

Y/N tentatively stepped off the elevator, joining her friends in the living room. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen so many eyes on her. “I didn’t know there was a party,” she joked, waving.

Tony was the first to speak up, a glass of honey liquid in hand, “Glad, you're back. We were just getting to know Bucky’s girlfriend over here.” He lifted his glass.

Y/N’s eyes followed the direction of Tony’s glass. Her hand tautened around the strap of her duffle bag for support. Y/N hadn’t noticed the extra body in the room at first. The team always had someone over for business or pleasure; it didn’t matter. This time it did because staring back at her was Bucky’s guest, his girlfriend, undoubtedly here for pleasure.

The stunning woman beside Bucky introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Evangelina, but everyone calls me Lina.” Y/N could see the muscles in her uncovered arms tense. Even though she couldn’t see the hand attached to the arm from the other side of the bar, she knew Evangelina was holding Bucky’s flesh hand. “But Bucky calls me Angel,” she added, batting her eyelashes at Bucky.

The woman wasn't solely attractive; she also had a heavenly name. Y/N mentally gagged at the thought of hearing Bucky call his girlfriend Angel.

The coward refused to meet Y/N’s eyes. He took a lengthy drink from a glass matching Tony’s. Stark usually drank top-shelf liquor. Y/N might have been concerned under different circumstances, but she knew the liquor did not affect him, unlike herself.

“Y/N,” she weakly introduced herself, gnawing on her bottom lip again.

“We were just having drinks. Care to join us? There is plenty of alcohol. I can make you something,” Evangelina offered politely.

Y/N’s teeth clamped tight on her bottom lip. She spent three weeks wishing she could return to the tower, only to be treated like a guest, an outsider in her own home.

It was then that Bucky decided to face her, yet his eyes looked right through her. Y/N’s chest tightened. She didn’t know it was feasible to feel more alone in her home, surrounded by friends and a man she had been intimate with, than by herself in a foreign country. She wondered if he could see the hurt written on her face.

“I-I don’t-”

Bucky’s whiskey-strained voice interrupted, “No. No drinks.”

A gasp pulled Y/N's attention away from the couple. Cold, pale hands rested on her cheeks, rotating her head from side to side. “Y/N, you’re bleeding,” Natasha chastised.

Wrestling out of Natasha’s hold, Y/N utilized the back of her hand to wipe the blood from her lip. Staring at the crimson fluid coating her skin, Y/N jerked her head. “I can’t.” Blindly smashing the elevator button behind her, she whispered, “I have to…” her voice trailed off as she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. Disregarding everyone’s silent questions, she bolted into the elevator, only letting her shoulders sag when the doors closed. The strap of her duffle bag slid from her shoulder landing with a thud. Gliding her back down the wall, Y/N cradled her knees and wept.

Every night before bed, Y/N prayed the sun would never rise because when day broke, Bucky vanished. Her dreams filled with memories of their last mission together. Reality was the price of admission for eight hours in heaven.

Y/N clenched her jaw at every public display of affection between the new couple. In the time she had known him, Bucky had never been touchy-feely in public. Now, he couldn’t appear to stop. Bucky only ever reached for Y/N after a nightmare or horrific mission. He reached for her at his lowest and she responded with open arms. He might have another woman occupying his bed, but he continued to fuck with her head.

The voice in her head wasn’t her own anymore. Every thought she had echoed back in his familiar deep timber. She couldn’t shake him. A twisted part of her brain wondered if he couldn’t shake her either.

Sam’s comment when she returned from her assignment should have been her first clue. He had mistaken Evangelina for her. Sam had been the first to mention the resemblance between the two, but it wasn’t the last time Y/N received those kinds of comments.

In the time that Y/N had gotten to know Evangelina, which wasn’t much, she concluded that she didn’t hate her. The two had more in common than she wanted to admit. Evangelina made it a point to befriend all of the Avengers; Y/N included. Y/N hated that she enjoyed her company. It was a tough pill to swallow at first, but she couldn’t hate the woman for her taste in men. Who didn’t find Bucky Barnes attractive?

Bucky had been more challenging to read. He didn’t prevent the women from becoming friends, but he didn’t encourage it either. He continued to keep his distance from Y/N, only interacting with her in group settings.

The Avengers were unaware of Bucky and Y/N’s history. Their relationship was exclusively behind closed doors. Y/N wondered if Evangelina would be her confidante if she knew Y/N had warmed his bed first. Maybe Bucky told her and that was why she pushed to be Y/N’s friend. Maybe that was the reason she asked to raid Y/N’s closet for her date with Bucky. Even though Y/N desperately wanted to slam the door in her face, Evangelina was innocent in the situation. So, she agreed.

“You have so many pretty dresses,” Evangelina said in awe. Her hand ran across each piece of fabric dangling in the wardrobe.

Y/N’s fingers plucked at a loose thread on her comforter. Although they were now friends, helping Bucky’s girlfriend pick out an outfit for their date was still awkward. At least it was on Y/N’s end. Evangelina was none the wiser.

“Perks of being an Avenger.”

“What’s it like being an Avenger? Bucky never talks about his work life. He’s always tense when he returns from a mission.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow even though the other woman couldn’t see her. Bucky was slow to open up, especially about his past as the Winter Soldier. Y/N wasn’t surprised he dodged the topic. Ever since Natasha leaked classified files, Bucky’s past became public knowledge. Bucky and Evangelina’s relationship progressed beyond what Y/N previously had with Bucky, at least on the surface. She didn’t know much about their life behind closed doors. Bucky never took Y/N on a date or made her his girlfriend, but he let her hold him in her arms at night and let her in after a difficult mission. Yet his girlfriend practically confessed she knew nothing about his troubles. That was what shocked Y/N.

“It’s…” she paused, attempting to find the right words to convey the difficulties of the job without disturbing her. “It’s like war. You save and lose people. It’s rewarding and sucks at the same time.”

Evangelina pivoted with a black cocktail dress in hand. “That sounds awful.”

Y/N shrugged. “People do it every day. Steve, Sam, and Bucky were all military men before this.” She waved her hands around the room.

Evangelina caught the shift in Y/N’s tone. It wasn’t something she wanted to talk about, a reaction Evangelina grew used to from her exchanges with Bucky. Altering the subject, Evangelina pressed the cocktail dress flush to her body. “What about this one?”

Y/N sucked in a deep breath. She wore the dress on her last mission with Bucky. Though he didn’t say it in public, his reaction when they returned to the safe house that night was enough to know Bucky admired the dress. With Evangelina’s similar figure, Y/N knew Bucky would equally appreciate it on her, especially since he wouldn’t get to rip it off of Y/N again.

She would have told Evangelina about the dress, but it was none of her business. The past was in the past. One Evangelina wasn’t a part of. If Bucky hadn’t told her about their past neither would she. Was it bad to send Evangelina on a date in the dress Bucky had fucked her in? Probably. Did she hope he would think about her the entire date? Absolutely.

Clearing her throat, Y/N plastered a phony smile on her face. “Good choice.” After the date, the dress would be tarnished, like rerecording over an old tape.

Y/N never considered herself a masochist, but she couldn’t escape the role of a domestic sinner. She couldn’t sabotage Evangelina’s relationship no matter how Bucky made her feel; however, she could ruin her own relationship. There was a time in her life when she thought Bucky was the one. Part of her still believed it. It was the part she had to sacrifice.

She told herself Bucky’s soft caresses and lingering stares meant nothing, that every promise spoken was a lie to satisfy the moment. Everything Y/N ever loved had been hard to part with, so she convinced herself Bucky never truly loved her. He couldn’t with how readily he replaced her. Could he? It didn’t matter because he chose Evangelina.

“Hey, Y/N,” Steve welcomed jovially.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as Steve’s voice carried down the hall. Who was he talking to? Rounding the corner just in time, she hadn’t missed the way Steve’s eyes enlarged at the sight of her.

“I didn’t realize,” Steve began, his eyes flashing between both women. “I thought you were Y/N.”

Evangelina chuckled, gliding her hands across her abdomen to smooth down the front of the dress. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Y/N was considerate enough to lend me her dress.” She turned to Y/N, who was still standing in the archway of the lobby. “Thanks again.”

Before Y/N could reply, a hand slinked around her waist, drawing her into a solid body. Startled, Y/N tensed.

“Hey, Ange-” Bucky’s tongue twisted as his eyes landed on Y/N. He was relieved he peeked at her face before he complimented her appearance. He dragged his arm back to his side in a flash. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

Y/N chewed her lip, taking a step back. Bucky was dressed from head to toe in black, matching Evangelina. Y/N wondered if they planned to dress for her funeral before or after they killed off any romantic feelings she had for Bucky.

“I did the same thing,” Steve laughed. Bucky glowered at him, forcing his hands into his pockets. Steve held his hands up, “I didn’t touch anyone though, that was all you.”

Bucky grumbled, crossing the lobby to plant a kiss on Evangelina’s forehead. His right hand rested on the small of her back. “You look gorgeous,” he whispered against her hairline.

Evangelina grinned, “You don’t look bad yourself.”

Y/N couldn’t argue with that.

The faint smile on Bucky’s lips disappeared as the hand on Evangelina’s back ran up her spine. The tips of his fingers halted over a loose thread beside the zipper. Anyone would have glossed over it, but not Bucky. Not when he was the one to patch the dress up and certainly not when he was the one to tear it in the first place. When his gaze collided with Y/N’s, she knew he recognized the dress. His eyes blatantly proceeded to check her out.

Y/N flushed as he studied her; however, the moment his eyes drifted to his best friend, Y/N’s blood ran cold. “Are you two,” he pointed between Y/N and Steve. His voice was unable to fully ask the question he wanted to.

Steve slung his arm over Y/N’s shoulder. It was meant to be a joke, but Y/N saw the blaze in Bucky’s eyes. She didn’t know if it was directed at Steve or herself.

“I wish,” Steve beamed down at her. “I have a conference with Fury in an hour. I was hoping to get there early.”

Y/N sent Steve a soft smile. Steve and Bucky were best friends. If anyone knew what transpired between the two on their last mission, it would be Steve. His reaction proved otherwise. She was confident Steve didn’t know about her past with Bucky or he wouldn’t have unknowingly taunted Bucky.

Evangelina ran her hand along Bucky’s back affectionately. “What about you, Y/N? That dress looks amazing on you. I’m almost jealous I didn’t borrow that one.”

Untangling herself from Steve’s hold, Y/N focused on responding to her new friend rather than Bucky. Puffing out her chest, Y/N said, “Thanks, Lina. I have a date.”

Evangelina grinned, “You should join us.” She directed her attention to Bucky, slapping the center of his chest. “They should join us.”

Y/N’s eyes bulged at the prospect of a double date with Bucky. Absolutely not.

“Could be fun,” Bucky added, but his voice lacked emotion.

She officially lost her mind. There was no way Bucky was actually on board with this idea. The man spent most of his time avoiding her. The second she attempts to move on, he tries to interfere. No. No. No.

Y/N shook her head, lying through her teeth, “It’s still new. I’m not ready to introduce him to anyone I know yet.”

Bucky’s eyes lingered on Y/N’s figure for a moment. “That’s not exactly a new relationship kind of dress.” His eyes narrowed in a challenge.

Y/N pursed her lips. “It is for the kind of relationship he and I have.”

Bucky and Y/N’s first assignment together was a disaster. Bucky wasn't prepared to return to the field, but he insisted he was fine. The mission was successful, but only after Bucky hesitated and Y/N was stabbed. The knife was meant for Bucky, and he took her sacrifice for his mistake poorly. They argued even while Y/N was getting stitched up. At the time, they couldn’t stand one another, but looking back on it, it was the tipping point from enemies to friends.

Tony pressured the two to get along for everyone's sake. He suggested going out for a drink and hashing it out. It was the typical outing for a man of Tony’s status with enemies. Bucky had been the first to yield, offering to buy Y/N a drink. As long as it meant they could move forward, he didn’t care. Y/N declined. Bucky scowled in frustration.

“I probably shouldn't tell you this, but ever since the whole enhanced superpower thing, alcohol is like poison to me.”

Bucky’s face softened. Alcohol had been an issue for him and Steve as well. He detested that he couldn’t get drunk, especially with the unwanted memories that plagued his head frequently. It paled in comparison to her side effects. At least he could still consume the liquid and pretend.

“How about dinner then?” Bucky proposed.

Y/N nodded. “Dinner would be great.”

After that, the pair functioned well together. At least until Y/N witnessed Bucky’s nightmares or when he pulled away from everyone after a challenging mission. That was when Y/N began comforting Bucky. While it wasn’t a problem before, it was now.

“Stop staring at me,” Bucky grumbled.

Y/N couldn’t tear her eyes away from the super-soldier. It was their first mission together since he began dating Evangelina. The two of them were trapped in a safe house on the other side of the world. It wasn’t the first time they had stayed in this particular safe house. It was the exact safe house they inhabited on their last mission.

“You’re hurt,” Y/N observed. Bucky naturally had a sway in his gate. Today, it was heavier, as if he had been lugging extra weight around for hours.

“I’m fine,” Bucky rasped, keeping his back to Y/N. He kept his focus on igniting the fire in the fireplace before them.

Y/N frowned. “I don't mean physically.” Bucky remained silent. “Maybe you should call Evangelina,” she proposed. It was the practical thing to suggest, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on Bucky than she intended.

Bucky whirled around; the fire blazed behind him. “I said I’m fine,” he barked. His dark eyes pinned her to her spot on the worn couch.

Y/N chewed her bottom lip. If he was going to get angry with her for caring, then she’d get furious right back. “If you’re so fine, then why have you been avoiding me?”

Bucky grumbled something under his breath, running his hand through his hair. “I already told you, I haven’t-”

“Bullshit.” Y/N rose from her seat. “You fucked me after that HYDRA mission and discarded me like garbage,” she fumed. “I gave you space. I’m gone not even an entire month and suddenly you have a girlfriend. Fuck you, James.”

Bucky stormed the room until he was standing in front of her. His nostrils flared as he ran his tongue along his teeth before baring his teeth. Y/N tipped her head back, daring him to put his hands on her. Bucky studied her face momentarily, their faces hairsbreadths from one another as he hissed, “Fuck. You. Y/N.” From this distance, she could see the muscles in his face twist. She knew he was pissed. Bucky pulled away. “You think you know everything. You have no idea what it's like to have someone fuck with your head.”

Y/N shoved his chest hard. Bucky didn’t even flinch. “You! You’ve been driving me insane with your games!” Her hands moved to shove him again, but he caught both of her wrists.

“Don’t,” he growled.

Y/N ripped herself free from his hold. His grip wasn't tight enough to hurt, still she rubbed her wrist anyway, trying to rid her body of his touch.

“Go back to your boyfriend, Y/N,” he commanded.

Y/N squinted at the man in front of her. This version of him was a stranger. “I heard you,” she voiced softly. “That night,” she pointed to the bedroom down the hall, “when you thought I was asleep, you said you love me.”

If she wasn’t an Avenger, she wouldn’t have detected the way his eyes widened for a fraction of a second. Bucky no longer had to wear a mask from HYDRA, but it seemed everyone except Bucky got the memo. His voice matched the stone-cold expression he wore. “I lied.”

It was the lack of sympathy in his voice that slammed the casket closed. With two little words, Bucky Barnes had buried her in the same place he made love to her.

Bucky returned to the tower after dropping Evangelina off when he stumbled across Natasha with a glass of wine in hand. She was snuggled under a blanket on the couch, watching a true crime show. Since he was unsure where everyone else had gone, he settled on the spot beside Natasha.

“Long night?” Natasha questioned, side-eying the brunette.

Bucky moaned, running his hands down his face. “Long week.”

Natasha swirled her glass of wine. “There is still a bit of wine left. It won't get you drunk but it might help you relax.”

Bucky pursed his lips. “I don’t think that will help.”

Natasha shrugged. “There’s some liquor Y/N’s boyfriend left on the counter over there.” She pointed to the nearly empty bottle across the room. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “He’s here?”

The red head nodded. “They just got back from dinner. She said they were going upstairs to watch a movie, but after the amount of alcohol they had, I’m sure they are doing more than that.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Bucky stiffened. “They were both drinking?”

“Yeah. The boyfriend came down a couple times to make mixed drinks. He offered me one the last time he was down here, but,” she raised her wine glass.

Before Natasha could continue, Bucky was out of the room, taking the stairs three at a time. He didn’t expect Natasha to understand. People didn’t go around broadcasting their weaknesses. Y/N told him hers, despite them not being friends. It wasn’t his position to share the information. He regretted it now.

Bucky pounded his fist on the wooden door of Y/N's bedroom with a force that made the hinges creak. “Y/N, you in there? Open up,” he pleaded, his voice laced with concern. When he tried the handle and found it locked, his heart sank. “Y/N,” his voice grew more desperate. He could hear shuffling on the other side of the door and leaned in, straining to hear anything that might give him an indication of what was transpiring inside. Despite his repeated requests, the door remained sealed shut, and Bucky's impatience and frustration mounted with each passing second. His voice grew louder, his fists clenched tightly, as he roared for Y/N to open the goddamn door. But there was no response. Finally, Bucky stepped back, his eyes flashing with rage, preparing to kick the door down.

The door opened the second Bucky lifted his boot. A man Bucky had never seen before pushed past him, flying down the hallway. “I didn’t do anything,” he cried as he stepped onto the elevator.

Whiplash hit Bucky hard. His head twisted between the man on the elevator and Y/N’s open bedroom door. The second he caught sight of the man's face, he filed it away preparing to deal with him later. Bucky ran into Y/N’s room. His heartbeat drummed loudly, drowning out the sound of the TV playing in the background. He called her name, but there was no response. He scanned the entire room, finding it empty. His boot kicked a glass, the brown liquid staining the carpet. With a lump in his throat, Bucky knocked on the bathroom door and waited for half a heartbeat before he jerked the door wide open.

There she was, sprawled out on the bathroom floor. Bucky crouched down beside her. His flesh hand shook her shoulder as he called her name. No response. He rolled her onto her back, his fingers searching for the pulse on her neck. Bucky almost missed the faint thrum of her pulse beneath his fingers. His own body was shaking. He called her name once again but was met with silence.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. send the medical unit to Y/N’s room,” his voice quivered as he addressed Tony’s artificial intelligence.

He stepped over her to turn the shower on. Leaving the sliding glass door open, he enveloped her torso in his arms, dragging her bodying into the shower. Crumbling to the floor behind her, he cradled her body under the spray of the cold water.

“Come on, Y/N. Wake up,” he pleaded. He tapped her face repeatedly. “Come on. Not like this,” his voice began shattering. Her head lulled into his chest. Bucky’s fist clenched, mindful not to crush her, as a loud sob tore through his chest. Bucky held her tighter than the clothes adhering to their skin beneath the water. He swayed her slowly as tears gushed down his face. “Come on Y/N. Come back to me,” he croaked. “Tell me to go fuck myself. Anything,” he begged, praying for a reaction. It was futile. Bucky smashed his lips onto the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open with a groan. Her body was sore on the brink of death. One look around the room confirmed she nearly died. She visited the medical wing frequently between missions. The injuries she had endured on the missions were nothing in comparison to what she was experiencing now.

A pressure landing on the back of her hand had her head snapping to her side. Bucky sat with his forehead pressed to the back of her hand, a prayer escaping his lips. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows searching for her last memory of Bucky.

The brunette lifted his head, running his fingers through her hair. “You scared me,” his voice was shaky, his eyes never left her face.

“Where’s-”

Bucky snarled, “Your boyfriend? Don’t worry about him, he’s an asshole.”

Y/N flinched. “He didn’t know.”

“That’s not why he’s an asshole. He ran and left you on the bathroom floor to die.” Bucky watched as Y/N processed the new information. The lack of surprise concerned him. He didn’t want to ask, but he needed to know. “Did you know there was alcohol in your drink?”

Y/N scoffed, crossing her arms. “Of course, I didn’t, Bucky. You’re an asshole for leaving me too. I’m pissed at you. I’m not suicidal. You did your good deed. I’m alive. Now you can go back to your Angel.” She spat the last words, parodying his words from the safe house.

Bucky sat back in his seat, rubbing his chin. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He just wanted to push her away. He pushed too far. He almost lost her. He couldn’t avoid her any longer, she deserved an explanation.

“It wasn’t a lie,” he mumbled. Part of him didn’t want her to hear it, still wanting to starve off the conversation.

“What?”

He took a deep breath, leaning forward. His elbows rested on his knees with his hands clasped in front of him. His face turned serious. “I love you.” Y/N’s heart skipped a beat while her face turned sour. “But I can't be with you.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. “Why are you doing this? Why now?”

Bucky winced at the hurt in her voice. It hurt him too. That’s why he avoided the conversation for so long. “I’m too vulnerable around you. I fall back into my head way too easily. I don’t want to be reminded of my past. Then I met Ang- Evangelina and suddenly, I’m not thinking about all of the people I’ve killed, or the way HYDRA tortured me. With her, I’m living in the present.”

Y/N sat up harshly, the tears had stopped flowing a few sentences ago. “Because you won’t open up to her! You’re running from your problems and the second she’s gone, you’re gonna be stuck in your head again. Alone this time. Sorry, I was only a distraction long enough for you to fuck me. You don’t love her. You love the idea of normalcy with me!” She insisted, jabbing her finger into her chest.

Bucky closed his eyes, his head in his hands.

“For fucks sake, Bucky. She looks like me. This isn’t reality. This isn’t you. You're playing a role in some cheesy romcom. You’re letting her emulate me to fill a spot. She’s my understudy and you know it.”

Bucky ran his hands through his hair before looking up at her. Teary-eyed, he confessed, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am anymore. I just want to be normal again.” His head rested on his bent arms, leaning against the bed. His back jolted with each sob.

Y/N rubbed between his shoulder blades. “We’re not normal Bucky. None of the Avengers are, but we’re real.” She ran her hand through his hair comfortingly. “You and me, we’re real.”

He wiped his tears, shaking his head, “She’s out looking for a dog for us to adopt.”

Y/N scrunched her nose. They were taking the next step. Before she knows it, they'll be moving in together, getting married, and have a kid on the way.

“I don’t even want a dog. I couldn’t take care of it with my lifestyle. It just seemed like the normal thing to do. Most families have dogs.”

Y/N hated the idea of Bucky considering a family with Evangelina. She knew him better though. “I always took you for a cat person.”

Bucky smiled at her. “Yeah? What about you? Are you a cat person?”

She nodded. “Less work to train. More realistic in our lifestyle.”

Bucky hummed. The idea of them sharing anything both scared and delighted Bucky. “What kind of cat would we get?”

The corner of Y/N’s lips turned upward. Playing along, she didn’t need to think about her answer, she had already thought about it before. “It doesn’t matter, but he’d have to be white so I could see him against all of your black clothes. Although, cat hairs might be a pain before missions.”

Bucky nodded, his elbow on the bed, propped his head up in his hand. His other hand held Y/N’s as his thumb rubbed circles on the back of her hand as she talked. With a raised eyebrow, Bucky asked, “He?”

Y/N nodded, offended he would suggest otherwise. “You know, so I can come home to my boys. Plus, you need more friends. You two can have a guy's night while I’m away.”

“What if I want to come home to my girls?” Bucky argued.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “We’ll let fate decide. Whichever we find first.”

He nodded, agreeing to the compromise. “Alpine.”

“Huh?”

Bucky sighed dreamily, “The name.” It was too easy talking with Y/N about adopting a cat as if they were discussing children. It hadn’t crossed Y/N’s mind yet, but Bucky was aware that he wasn’t thinking of the past. He was thinking of the future. A future with Y/N.

Y/N snorted. It wasn’t the name she would have picked but Bucky liked it. She got to pick the color; it was only fair Bucky got to pick the name. “Alpine it is.”

Three weeks later, Bucky and Y/N welcomed Alpine to their shared room at Avengers Tower. The team melted when they met the feline. Even Evangelina. Despite the breakup, Y/N and Evangelina remained friends. The women were filled with too much grace and poise, not to. A trait Bucky had admired in both of them. It should have unsettled Bucky for them to remain friends, but Bucky knew where he belonged now. He might not know who he was or who he is now, but he was certain his future was Y/N.

[goldsbitch]

That one taxi drive

part 8 to That one Christmas flight

summary: Thanks for coming.

warning: pure angst this time and tiny smut (no minors), cheesy af, swear words I guess, cliche probably, typos most definitely

I managed to delete one full draft of this and I'm still not ok with it. Save your drafts, kids.

"Just be cool and act like you belong," was the last text Y/N received from Lando. It was meant more as an encouragement rather than anything else. He sensed from Y/N's hesitant replies that nerves were getting to her.

Y/N was supposed be with her father this week. Instead she was standing in yet another hotel lobby, this time in the middle of Barcelona. It was a strange feeling, her name being secretly listed on his room with the knowledge of the hotel staff and his assistant only. Adrenaline running high. Dirty little secret that had to be kept hidden away - now why was this turning her on?! She felt a bit like a hooker, bit like a fan and just a little bit like a girlfriend. Her and Lando were nowhere near the last option yet, but the thoughts had started creeping in lately in Y/N mind. They'd rarely go few hours without texting and few days without a facetiming. Lando was yet to come to his own room, as he had some media duties to fulfill. And there was no way he would greet her downstairs with the photographers waiting outside the entrance.

She waited at the counter, big glasses and big hat, clothes that she did not normally wear. It was all a little too intense around the official f1 hotel. Dirty little secret. She could have some fun with that. An overly annoyed receptionist lightly nodded once Y/N said her name. She felt some disapproving looks from the girl behind the counter. What was that - disgust? Nevertheless, she received a room card and a huge bouquet with a card.

"This was left for you, you will probably know from who," the receptionist was really not afraid to put in her own opinion, hidden in the way she spoke to Y/N, who found it quite amusing. Y/N panicked a bit. She and Lando both agreed that confidentiality was the top priority for the good of them both, so what the hell was this. Y/N shared one fake smile with the receptionist, grabbed both of the things and headed straight to the elevator, not wanting to hang around too long with a giant bouquet that drew attention.

"Wait miss, the breakfast starts at-" yelled the receptionist after her.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, thanks," cut her off Y/N, thinking to herself how in the hell could such a prominent place have such tragic receptionist. Only once the elevator doors closed, she relaxed a bit and finally took a look at the flowers in her hands. It is hard to resist the power of a bouquet. Y/N never received one before from a guy, only from her grandpa, who was an old school gentleman. Smile crept to her previously serious face.

Card read "Thanks for coming" - and Y/N knew she'd be keeping it forever.

All her fluffy thoughts were sharply interrupted by the elevator floor opening at the first floor, extended lobby and conference rooms. Joining her in the elevator were two random people in different team attire, but Y/N attention was immediately caught by the one and only. Oh, and his teammate. Brilliant. It took Lando less than a millisecond to recognize her. One smile sneaked in before he came back to his senses and regained control of his face and gestures. Their eyes locked. Y/N's body shifted. She became anything but relaxed. Lando was in a middle of a conversation with Oscar and had to ask him to repeat his last point after getting over his initial shock. They all entered and Y/N paid attention into which floors they were heading. Oscar was the only one heading to the same flood and Lando and her.

Oscar was blabbering unusually today and was not planning on stopping it. Lando could care less. She was right there. He wanted to kiss her so badly, Oscar and all the others be damned. He would love to comment on the hat. He would kill for taking her by her waist and biting her lip just a little bit. It's been a little too long since Italy for impatient Lando. Their looks met for what must have been the seventieth time during this elevator ride. Lando shot her one quick cheeky smile, which almost broke Y/N. You could cut the tension between them with a kitchen knife. The longest elevator ride in the history of elevator rides.

"Oh yeah, and why do you think that is?" he tried to trick Oscar into talking so that he could shut off. Elevator stopped, people left, leaving the trio in elevator alone.

Y/N was panicking for real this time. It would be too obvious to get of at the same floor as they would, right? There must have been very few rooms on the very top. A decision was made and she pressed the button leading to the floor below that. Her awkward movement caught attention of the second McLaren driver for a moment. She smiled awkwardly and avoided any additional contact. Lando was a bit confused by her actions, his impatience growing by the second. She confidently got off one floor than she was supposed to go, leaving Lando bewildered. He and Oscar continued upstairs.

"I think we need to talk more about how to approach the engineers together, Lando. Do you have time now?" Lando had lots of things right now and time for his teammate was not one of those.

"No, sorry man. Gotta prep....Oh, and I forgot something downstairs. Stupid head today," he mumbled, went back to the elevator and waved at Oscar while pushing the button as Y/N had.

The door opened. Lando and Y/N's looks met once again, this time with no prying eyes.

"Got lost?" Lando remarked.

"Just wanted to avoid Oscar. He's not my favorite McLaren driver."

"Oh. That brings up a question who is your favorite driver out of all of the teams."

She smirked and walked all the way to him. Lando hit the elevator button and bit her upper lip. Then he kissed her so deeply one would think it was impossible to untangle them apart again. Y/N melted in his embrace. Any all thought leaving her mind leaving her completely locked in the present moment. Shame that elevator rides had to end sometime.

They left the elevator checking all the hallways for any people passing by.

"Thank you for the flowers and the card," Y/N chatted casually.

"Ha, the card needs to be deserved though," smiled Lando like a teenage boy.

"Does it now?" she asked.

"Uhm...You get to keep that only if you come," he continued with a wink. Her cheeks went red.

She could not help but objectify his body quietly. As summer approached, he had more of a tan, highlighting his toned muscles. They reached his suite quietly, she walked past him, exploring the way light hit the back of his neck. His hair in perfect disheveled state. There are just some details that can't a Facetime call does not catch.

The room was in complete stillness in contrast to the buzz of the hotel lobby. Lando was nervous in the best way possible. She was here. To be with him, to watch him race and he only wanted to make her proud. And satisfied. He let her walk to explore the place, admiring her from behind the same way she had just second ago. Y/N heart went to normal heartbeat once they were finally alone and together. Which was the precise moment when Lando's went up. Her perfume filled the room and he knew he'd be secretly checking out the brand and take a note of it. It felt strangely familiar and other-worldly at the same time. As she stood by the large window, Lando noticed the strap slipping down her shoulder. How was he supposed to stay still? He approached her and hugged her softly from behind, kissing the shoulder which called for him. He felt proud when her he saw the goosebumps he created.

"Like what you see?" he whispered to her ear and bit it lightly. Y/N felt like he had a talent for finding all the secret spots on her body.

"I like what I feel," she sighed and closed her eyes.

"This is merely a starter," he smiled to his kiss.

"I have airport sweat all over me. Would mind helping me wash up?"

His voice went really up with excitement escaping his body. "I would mind being excluded from that, honey."

The shower would have been big enough for five people. But Lando and Y/N stood so close to each other you'd think there was room barely for one of them. He had undressed her painfully slowly, enjoying the hungry look she obviously could not control. Whenever she reached for his own McLaren shirt, he'd reply with something along the lines "Ladies first." Y/N really wanted to look him in the eyes, but how was she supposed when the water falling on his skin made it all wet and shiny. She reached for his shower gel and rubbed it on his chest, making a detailed map of his muscles to imprint in her memory. There was nothing to hide, she felt Lando's erection pushing on her body. He was in a particularly raw mood ever since he saw her today, built up energy coming out. No time for sweet gestures. His left hand gripped her ass and the right one traced the the line from her boobs, squeezed her nipple just a little harder than ever before and it was sending Y/N to a different dimension. Somehow, he got even closer to her than before, pushing her until she was pressed against the shower wall. Water mixed with saliva when their tongues touched and they both got lost in each other. Her hand in his hair and his pressing her neck like nobody who would call her a friend would. She could come right then and there. It was passion mixing with supressed feelings, both of them being really honest only when they did not speak. He squeezed her ass again and pulled her legs up and around his on waist. She opened her eyes only to meet his hungry look. She sensed a question and without needing to hear it being asked she nodded in agreement. He was strong enough to give her full support and felt a little too proud when he saw her give in completely in his direction. He was slow when he first entered her, giving her time to adjust, making sure he was careful enough to keep going. It was a relief to feel him inside, finally after some many wishful nights. Once you taste the sweetest candy, it's impossible to go back to the usual stuff. And together, they were the premium shit. Lando soon found a steady rhytm and her soft moans echoed through the bathroom. She fell completely into his embrace, letting him lead and do anything he wanted - because his instinct was apparently set on the exact setting designed for her body. He wished she hadn't heard his phone ring. And in a way she did too. But he felt her body tensing with every beat of his ringtone. "Lando..." she said in a tone that suggested that the moment was over.

"Just a moment more, honey," he pleaded. Seven thousand moments was what he was really asking.

"We can't...you need to be at places." He did not give a shit - but she did, so he stopped. For a moment they were both catching up with their breath. She smiled at him and kissed him. Lando's erection was not going away easily. "We'll finish later," she promised.

He smiled into their kiss: "Don't think you'll get away so easily next time." Their shared last look, before he reluctantly left the shower, cursing his PR manager who just had to book another interview for this afternoon. It got real quiet for Y/N right after he left. She stood in the shower for sometime, gathering up her thoughs. She has had some pretty stressful couple of days finishing her course and had some deadlines to meet. Managed to get everything in check for the end of the year, but every free minute she had was occupied by the guy, who just left minutes after she came to see him. All of a sudden, it was hard to feel excited about this whole thing. Yes. She understood, or at least tried, the level of responsibility he held. Hell, she even told him to go work. So why where was this irational come down coming from?

//

She left the hotel room hoping she picked a time when most of the crew would already be working and headed to the grid in time for qualifying. They'd agreed that normal VIP pass would be the right decision at this stage, no paddock or McLaren base. It all seemed just a little too intimidating. NDA was sent to Y/N email for her to sign the minute she jumped on the plane. She signed it with a strange bitter feeling in her stomach once Lando left their room, still not sure how she felt about it, not sure if the fact this had been dealt with completely by his assistant, instead of him bringing it up, was alienating her. So she sat on the grandstand, alone once again. Only this time it hurt just a bit more to sit there by herself. It was all or nothing with Lando. Up and down. Stale than suddenly full speed. Don't be seen. Don't stand out. Don't be crushing so obviously. She gathered intrusive thoughts who kept her company while people around her screamed with joy and anger depending on the situation. She never expected to feel to strange in Barcelona. Hell, she'd been looking forward to it for days, so why was it like this?

Lando was over the moon and head over heels. Everything clicked - his car, the team and Y/N was watching him from right here in on the track. He felt proud. Showing off was his normal personality trait, but that had skyrocketed this week to abnormal heights. There was just something in the air making life intoxicating. He was handing out smiles as it if was oxygen and the crowds absorbed as if their life depended on it. He took all he had and gave everything to the quali. Got in the zone and the wind flew in his direction.

"P1, Lando, P1. Congrats." were dry words his engineer said as soon as everything was set. Lando could carry the whole team excitement wise in that moment, so he didn't need encouragement from him. "Yes!!! Yes, baby, Yes, here we go! I can't believe it!" He beat them all. An achievement he needed so much after all that hard work. P1 meant at least a chance of a podium. He was quick and a good driver - and he finally believed it again.

Y/N wondered for a moment if this was what if felt like being dead. Watching and not interfering. She immediately slapped herself mentally for being so overly dramatic. Just like Lando, she also had big dreams of her future and it felt like a privilege to be there to see her crush crushing his. No, this was crazy, she was overhelmed by the energy the crowds around produced and by the obvious joy that streamed out of Lando during post race interview. She chucked and yelled a loud "Oh come on!" when he said that that the result was great, but the real battle was tomorrow. If only he could stop sometimes for a moment and enjoy it while it lasted, she thought. There was just a tiny tiny part of her, that wished this had happened the race before. Just so that she could have more time with. Surely he was suppose to have meetings and getting ready and stuff. Not exactly an envinroment for late night fucks and talks.

He joined her in his hotel room later that evening. Overjoyed, excited, slightly nervous and repeating his jokes about Leclerc 2023 season and how he will surely follow his steps a bit too much. Y/N sat there, listening and having Lando explain to her the whole deal, as she was quite new to this stuff. He was wrapped in his own head, for very obvious reasons. Y/N felt as if he was and also was not there at the same time. She was quiet and let her anxiety out only once he fell asleep. Honestly, what was the point of her being here. The unspoken hope about their potential future she held deep inside was slowly slipping away. She felt selfish, hated herself for it and yet knew her needs were valid. The initial excitement with which she arrived here leaving like a long distance friend on a Sunday afternoon. Lando's mind would usually run wild before a race. This time it was Y/N. She was happy to be the one to share his afternoon and night. Her skin just crawled when the thought that this was just a casual hook up for him entered her mind. Who was the one keeping him company on the next race?

//

Once Lando kissed he goodbye and quickly left for his pre race work, she buried herself in her phone, doomscrolling endlessly. At one point she debated not going to the race. Nobody would notice. But she would feel like an absolute idiot if she stayed there. What exactly were the expectation coming here? That he would have all the time for her? She picked herself up and went, now really wanted to slap herself. She was in Barcelona on a F1 race for god sake.

Once again she went and this time tried to sink in the atmosphere of the grandstands and focus less on what might be happening in the paddock and around Lando. When she opened up more the the world around, the world responded and threw a group of young Spanish fans in her way. They took her as her own - and there was no one to complain that she spend her time at the race with Alonso fans.

//

Podium. Podium when he knew that she was there watching. Was there more to wish for? His team surrounded him overjoyed, the fans were ecstatic and ever the journalists seemed to be on his side for this once. There was a post race interview, then Netflix and lots of autographs. Lando felt truly rewarded for all the hard work he put into his racing. The team insisted on Lando joining them at the club, it would have probably been impossible to avoid it, they were determined to celebrate. He barely found a moment to breathe - let alone check his phone, where a celebratory text from Y/N was sitting among 70 other texts.

Minutes turned into hours and usually patient Y/N was losing it. There was nothing else for her to do than join her newly found pack at the bar in the city, where they continued after the race. They were typically Spanish in their ways, so the energy was high and contagious. She shared her frustrations without revealing Lando's identity, because she just had to get it out somehow. Two shots was the maximum she allowed herself in order not to start drunk calling and throwing away her last piece of dignity she felt towards herself.

"I don't wanna know. I don't need to see him on instagram wrapped around someone else. Just tell me if he texts me back," she said and handed her phone to one of the girls, the one that seemed to get it the most.

It was intoxicating to watch his usually stressed teammates and crew finally relaxed and happy. He'd been at the team for a good chuck of years now, these people were family. Few times during the night a thought entered Lando's mind. He should have just brought Y/N here. It would have been fine. So there would be some headline tomorrow. Then his memories of his exes crying at the horrific comments his "so called fans" were capable of leaving nonstop. He read her text after three or something hours, not making anything out of his response time, deciding to wait for a proper quiet moment to record a voice message.

"I only smoke when I want to feel bad," she laugher while sharing a cigarette outside the bar filled with singing people.

"Chica, you have a voice message!" her designated phone guardian exclaimed. Received 28 minutes ago. Great.

She listened to the message for two times, having trouble deciding whether she felt happy or angry. Nothing personal, nothing specific, just a happy Lando talking in the same tone he uses for interviews, she watched him enough to see the difference, asking about her whereabouts, making it sound like he just assumed that she is back at the hotel. His James Dean smile felt bitter in her memory. Her own joy that she felt when listening to his voice was the thing making her mad. He just had such an upper hand.

She took a few minutes to reply. Why the hell not. "I'm in the centre of Barcelona with some people." was the only thing she wrote. Her dirty little secret fantasy turned out to be sad undermining dream. She was leaving tomorrow evening and felt as if Lando hadn't even asked her how she was doing in the two days she'd been here. Somehow, she felt further from him than when there were miles and oceans between them.

It's hard to tell the note from a text sometimes, but Lando has shared hundreds of texts with this girl. So he knew something was up.

"Can I come and see you?" he asked straightforward.

"If you want to...but there are like people here, so..?" she replied after another pause and sent her location.

//

The taxi drive dragged for minutes and Lando sighed demonstratively to let his annoyance out of the system, having little to no care of what the driver thought of him.

"I'm right outside the bar, in the alleyway," he finally sent once he arrived and got a photo of his POV. She took her time, letting him evaluate what had been happening even more. Was the magic gone? Did she stopped caring? Or worse, did she never start?

He was not exactly relieved when he spotted her coming his way. There was an uncharacteristically strange look on her face.

"Hey," she said with no clear emotion for Lando to read.

"Hey," he replied passively and carefully.

"Congrats again," she said quietly. "Sorry I dragged you out of the party," she said honestly. There was a sudden wave of guilt making her feel very small. She stopped unusually far away from Lando, not exactly where a person who has shared his bed that night would. They stood far away from crowds, but blended perfectly into the street life scenery. Just a guy and a girl.

"Is everything like, alright?"

"I don't know. It's just...guess I find it harder to stay behind and pretend I don't know you than I thought I would," she managed to slowly voice her biggest concern. There was a part of her that was proud for that.

"Ok. I'm sorry it's so unfortunate. I guess I act a little different when I'm afraid of being watched." She had to admit he was right, it he had stepped out of the alleyway, there would be a crowd immediately. that must have been really suffocating at times.

"No, you don't have to say you're sorry or anything. I get it. I'm a regular girl, just some student. No model or a daughter of a driver or whatever. I obviously don't fit into your life. It would be crazy of me to assume that anyway. And I got carried away with my little crush on you. It's my own expectations that let me down, not you or anything. I get it, I just need some time to process and get over it." Her voice was sweet and honest with no other undertones. He had not seen this emotion on her face before. He found it fascinating that the more he saw her, the more types of expressions he was allowed to observe.

In that moment, Lando was more than sure of where he wanted the conversation to go. There wasn't a thing that would make his second guess. This realization makes one nonchalantly braver than usual. "But I don't want you to get over it. The last you are to me is ordinary. Or some fucking shit like that." The concept of her thinking this was really fucking up his own head.

"Lando, I can see this thing we do is making me someone I don't want to be. An insecure sucker for a drop of your attention. It's honestly embarassing," she stated. "I like Lando, don't give a fuck that you happen to be Lando Norris."

He was shocked how she managed to hit him where it hurt without even realizing it.

"But that's the thing. I'm obsessed with you. Me, Lando. But Lando Norris does not leave when you enter the room. I know the price of that better than anyone and I just want to protect you for as long as I can. The thing I'd love to do the most is to introduce you to my friends and definitely not talk to them about how amazing time I have when I'm with you."

Y/N took a moment to take in what he was trying to say to her. She was took busy getting through her own thoughts that she almost did not listen to his. Lando took a step closer to her, knowing that if he fucks this up, they will hardly see each other again. There was no room for any cat and mouse games. Destiny set them up for the level hard. It's not like they will bump into each other in the paddock.

"I want to enjoy what we have in private for as long as we can. I want to get to know you and have the space to do so. I'm terrified of someone giving you any hate," he whispered. Y/N has probably never felt as stupid as she had then.

"I don't know why I'm so weird. And overreacting."

"You're not," he said firmly, kicking himself mentally for not taking more of an effort when he had her here. "I'm sorry for neglecting you. And for hiding you. It's definitely not because I find you not enough," he said, disgusted with the word enough leaving his mouth.

Once some barriers are broken, it's impossible to take a step back.

"We don't need to parade around, Lando. I get what you're saying and all," she said.

"Yes. Not until we both feel ready, if that's ok."

"Great, " she smile. There was silence for a moment. Lando's mind was suddenly clear as a day.

"Y/N. I want to see you again. And more often. Not as a fuck buddy or a special friend. How do you feel about that?"

"Like what...like dating or something?"

"No," he smiled, seeing how it made her all awkward and tight. "Not something. Proper full on dating, all in. Let it flow and see where we end up." It was like a weight she had no idea she carried lifter of her.

"Yes," she replied and bit her lip to hide her excitement.

He smiled back. "Ok, honey". With that he kissed his newly found girlfriend. New set of slightly different butterflies entered the chat.

"So I guess I'll have to change your contact name, huh?" he asked with his signature cheeky grin.

"To what?"

"How did you put it, sucker for my attention?"

She hit him playfully and he responded with another kiss.

epilogue p1

__________________________________________________

Tagged all those who like to suffer: @prudyhoo @anuksunamon @sagestack @esquerkaren @ushygushybaby @ilove-tswizzle @thehufflepuffavenger1  @superlegend216 @mehrmonga @lovely-blackinnon @mylifeihate1029 @lausdigitaldiary @tswizzleismother @goldenharrysworld @llando4norris @classiclitfreak  @ophcelia @leclerc13 @starmanv @k4r1402 @biitch-with-wifi @drunk-teens-doing-drugs @starmanv @formulaal

[fumifooms]

i know you aren't really into marcille/laios any longer, but since you went looking online for dungeon meshi doujins, did you happen to find any other marcille/laios ones? (funnily enough at the convention i was at a couple weeks back they had like five, but they were extremely over-exaggerated and personally i prefer my fan content relatively in character...)

Ok first of all: Yeah listen laimar doesn’t have a grip on me anymore but I still quite enjoy it! Just more passively… Altho I do have an analysis that focuses a lot on the importance they hold to each other in my early stage wips drafts, and listen in canon I do think they’re queerplatonic flavored, call me an ot3 qpr truther because Laios Marcille and Falin have a something going on and it transcends being put into a box. But hey hey I reblog laimar artworks I bought that recent doujin I put laimar fics in my -checks- 106 pages long to-read list… Also I have like 5 pages of fanfic prompts for them I may or may not get to writing. Though yeah I do feel bad whenever I notice people following after liking all my laimar posts haha

Sadly to get to the meat of the topic, not really… I don’t go to cons for lack of opportunity so whatever I find is through online. The one I got is The Fourth Basement Floor, it has an english ver and seems so so very in character I can’t wait to get it! Otherwise I’ve looked on Otakurepublic & Doujinrepublic since I use their services for merch from Japan, warning if you click on the link, there are 18+ ones and covers can be pretty explicit. I don’t remember any other laimar one except the one nsfw one I think, but on the plus side there are a lot of gen no ships doujins. I’m bothered because looking back I feel like the catalogue of doujins was wider when I looked all those months ago and it feels like I’m forgetting something hmm… I wish I could help more, but yeah 😔 Pixiv has many laimar comics up (in japanese) if that sates the hunger any

As consolation since I’m already here, why not show some of my laimar things laying around gathering dust I’m fond of. Don’t look if you don’t want to be spoiled for fics I may or may not write I guess? All down below is just laimar prompts

I spoke about some various ones and esp my timeline where she gets him into Daltian Clan here. "Laios… I was wondering, because you enjoy fantasy stories right? I was wondering if you’d like to give my favorite book series a go… It has monsters!" I love love love post-canon laimar where he gets the habit of chewing on her hair because he’s stimming and hungry. Like a goat.

Laios goes to Marcille for love advice.  "You like someone?! Do I know them?" She eagerly asked. "Erm… Yes…?" // Post-canon. He’s so nervous and puts his foot in his mouth n lets things slip out that he thought would give him away. (Comic) "You like someone??! What are they like? Who are they?" And he’s like "Well… She’s a half-elf." He’s like shit she’ll probably know right away. And she goes still. "I’ve never met another half-elf!! We’re so rare! You’re saying you met one and didn’t tell me???!" She’s shaking him. And then she goes still again, contempt drawing on her face. "Wait… Are you asking me for advice because I’m a half-elf?" Laios runs with it "Yes!! And because you’re so savvy with romance and what people like…? If, uh, if you were a half-elf, what would you like to get as a gift? What sort of confession would you want?" "… You saved it there. Okay so since I’m so knowledgeable on romance, tell me what is she like?" "-describes Marcille-" She nods, smug yet oblivious. "Aah I can already tell we’d be great friends. Good taste." (then Thinking bubble with him giving her flowers at a restaurant "Did you know roses are edible and used in recipes", candlelit dinner, or wait maybe the most romantic is cooking together alone at home, chocolate! It’s expensive though… Wait I’m king now!)

Lil comic, Laios wakes up snuggled against Marcille’s back then promptly falls off the bed. The noise makes Marcille wake up and she’s like omg are u ok?? Laios is so sweaty and panicked and in denial about her being special to him.  She explains, disgruntled at the memory "Izutsumi is bunking in with Chilchuck again, they’re taking the whole bedrolls." Pause. "Sorry, I should have told you, but you like sleeping with Izutsumi too so I figured…" She looked sheepish. "Between you and Senshi, I much prefer sleeping with you. It feels sort of nostalgic, like a sleepover, no?" He relaxes and gets in the bed again, smiling. "But… We’ve never had a sleepover?" She chuckles "I guess not. I must be getting that impression because of Falin…" And the air between them is warm yet bittersweet now, as she smiles like that and his eyes and smile cloud over. The earlier instinctive reluctance to touch is gone now. She snuggles into his arms and is like "Hug me?" "Okay." And he does, wraps his arms around her and tucks his chin over her head.

Post canon, marcille takes him to a squid restaurant. Cute lighthearted hehe. He sulks "If there are any parasites in this I will ban squid from this kingdom or so help me…"

Short post canon fluff marcille pov about laios gaining weight n becoming chubby. She used to dream of chiseled abs and angular elves, laios in every way, shape and form is so far from the beauty standards she idealized so. And yet… She loves how soft sleeping against him is, how much there’s more of him for her to hug and nuzzle her face in. She loves seeing him and seeing someone strong, who isn’t malnourished or underweight, someone healthy with color in their skin. An healthy appetite. He used to look more like a rectangle, severe and strict, but now he looked rounder, and seeing him smile at her always made her feel like that roundness suited him. She smiled back, and melted thinking about how her boyfriend was the sweetest in the world. ^I still wanna do this one really bad. Sometimes a fic premise comes from nowhere and puts you in a chokehold and you must finish it to obtain catharsis

Short oneshot about laios musing about Marcille’s smile, how important it is to him in subtle ways etc: Ends with Laios being like wait there’s something off (succubus). Then he grabbed her throat. Or smth

Laios seeing her dungeon like "this is so wrong Marcille you can’t run a dungeon for shit" and also "WHAT ARE THESE HORRORS OF MONSTERS NOO THEY CAN’T BE EFFECTIVE LIKE THAT"

Dinner for two: Very warm. Marcille and Laios are meeting up and cooking a dinner just for them both, no one else is there. They’re being so domestic and it’s light. Laios pauses at some point, doing the dishes, saying… I’ve always worried, thinking doing things like these would remind me of my parents.

Laios doesn’t know what to do when he realizes he actually *likes* likes Marcille, so he avoids her. Everyone notices and is disapproving of him.

Her mana acts up and she shares her dream with someone, kinda like with Izutsumi. Listen the premise could be smutty but I think it’d be more fun if they just hanged out n were silly, like the nightmares chapter without the nightmare

Laimar pining but from the view of Chilchuck, his love hatred sensing a storm brewing. The giggling, the looks. Ugh! It reminded him of himself and his wife when they were young and newly dating.

I love Laios and Izu being worsties so. Laios sees izutsumi rubbing her scent on marcille’s clothes and gets possessive. Maybe Golden Kingdom maybe something else I have no clue but Laios being ridiculous and cheek rubbing or something <3

I might want to do an AU where Laios gets into werebeast ring fighting, before canon and the split happens after he deserts the military. So he’s alone, has nothing going for him and stumbles into that sphere and gets werebeast tattoos done. It doesn’t make him happier at all and fighting sucks actually, but it brings money and he likes being a beast and being cheered by a crowd aka illusion of being liked, and money brings food and eating is the privilege of the living etc etc. So then when he goes to check on Falin at the academy it’s a big AU where he has a whole other reputation and look to him, and when he meets izutsumi their relationship is different and aaaaaa… He’s freeer in this au, lets himself be animalistic and weird, even though ofc the arc is him letting himself be more human as well and connecting with humans, through talking and infodumping n shit. Oh I went off but the laimar is because it’s inspired by cool laimar art here (warning tho it’s an art dump with toudencest also 😔) but werewolf Laios laimar AUs… A lotta fun stuff there idk idk

[christiansorrell]

TTRPG Read-Through: Traveller - Book 1

Here is a read-through I did about a year and a half ago (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the all time classics: Traveller by Game Designers' Workshop! This read-through just covers Book 1 - Characters and Combat from the original Traveller box set trio of books. - Christian

This is the 1981 Second Edition printing of the classic Traveller three zine box set! Been wanting to read this for ages now. It's discussed A LOT in Mothership circles.

Really interesting to see GM-less and solo play options here. Didn't realize that was being done explicitly at this time. Also, nice to see "he or she" language here rather than the just "he" you see a lot in older games.

The UPP is clearly the creation of an utterly deranged mind. This seems like a huge overcomplication of just listing stats (unless all your players are proficient in hexadecimal).

[Hi, it's me from the future here (aka now - 2024): I've learned to embrace and love the UPP (or more specifically the planet stat version from one of the other books). It's complicated at first but really quick and cool once you know how to read it.]

I really like Social Standing as a stat replacement for charisma or charm or other social skills you tend to see. Feels like it would have more impact on the story and less of a "Roll to see if you convince him, I guess" sort of anticlimax social skills have most of the time.

I'm now into the "you can die during char creation in Traveller" bits. Really cool in some ways. Really comical in others. It recommends you enlist your bad stat characters into the Scout service because of it's high mortality rate (so you can roll a diff char before play), lol.

Essentially, you roll stats and that's your entire character but to give them some experience they can enlist in a Service. You have to roll to get in and may get rejected. If so, you submit to the draft (get into one at random). You can die. You can gain skills and promotions.

Honestly, the char creation feels like a solo game unto itself. Risk v reward of how far to push your enlistments to boost your skills and standing and benefits. You could have a whole story in your head by the end of it. Great Session 0 material.

As a 34 yr old, this hurts. Apparently, I have -1 Strength, Dexterity and Endurance now...

I admire commitment but asking GMs to use this full char creator for all NPCs (which means generating chars until you get one capable of filling the role you need) is truly too wild. Best part: at the end, it just says you can also pick whatever you want for stats and skills.

The weapons and intro text have much more of a space as a new age of sail vibe to them than I was anticipating. It's cool. Far more Dune than Alien (so far).

Interestingly (unless I missed something), skills are detached from your stats. Your base stats make getting into a Service easier and help you with Saving Throws and such, but skills have their own modifiers based on the situation and your expertise. It's cool (if a bit dense)!

In case you were wondering, there is absolutely no art in this entire book. I'm hoping we'll get some in one of the other two books with vehicles and ships and such but won't be holding my breath. Gives the whole thing a very Serious vibe.

Always interesting to see how older games chose to handle this (or not).

Here's the UPP in action along with quick listing of other character info. Interesting even if it is just too overcomplicated for my tastes.

Can't overstate how much char creation feels like a whole solo game of its own. You can roll a character at age 18 and have them go through seven 4-yr terms in a Service before retiring and having substantial cash, specific possessions, memberships and social standings. Wild.

The character sheet mentions PSIONICS which is exciting (but I'll have to wait till Book 3 for more on that apparently).

Combat is straightforward but has some unique bits: a focus on stealth as an option and movement/attacks occur by all parties simultaneously which means everyone (enemies too) gets to move and then everyone chooses who to attack and you roll them all. Sounds really fun.

Stats have cool effects in battle. Your Endurance stat is the number of attacks you can make before needing to rest (can you imagine if DnD just didn't let you do a base attack at a point?). Strength and Dex can boost or lower certain weapon rolls like you'd expect.

If trained in a weapon, you can give your expertise as a negative mod to your enemy's rolls to attack you to reflect parrying and blocking which is cool. The skills also add to your attack rolls. Skills just seem really useful overall here.

I just love that we get stats for broadswords, revolvers, and laser carbines. Plus, there are even special tables for archaic weapons for when encountering lower-tech civilizations. It feels like a really wide open interpretation of what space could look like. Feels exciting.

A few more equipment tables and a final quick reference page at the back and that's all for Book 1. I'll be back with Book 2 and 3 in the coming days!

Main thoughts: Character creation is very involved but really cool - its own game practically. Skills are very deep in a way that feels refreshing when compared to more stat-focused games. Combat has some fun, chaotic twists. Feels like a wide universe of possibility here so far.

I'll add Books 2 and 3 to this thread when I give them their own read-throughs. In the meantime, here's my newsletter (last two months have Mothership freebies): https://meatcastle.substack.com

And here's my website (with links to my games and modules and all that good stuff): https://shop.meatcastlegameware.com/

Thanks for reading!

[h-c-u]

No longer a secret pt 3

Summary: The one where InternetTM has ideas and the relationship officially goes public.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader

W/C: 4k

Rating: PG, age gap

TWs: none

A/N: I didn't expect the characters to grow this much, but I guess we're in it, guys, gals and pals. Also, below you can find a link to a playlist I listen to while writing all of this softness. The songs on it don't apply to either of the characters, just put me in a good mood for fluff. Also-Also - I don't have a clear plan for a part 4, so it might be few days before I'll write it.

Taglist: @crimeshowjunkie, @omgsuperstarg

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | List of tags | Playlist for the series

You hated waking up early, especially alone in bed, but there had to be some cons of being with a man like Toto. Although it was more of a personal preference, than a true inconvenience. And during most mornings out of season, you had him all to yourself...

But today he was most likely either in some early meeting, or still in the gym, and you had your own meeting in about 30 minutes, so it was time to get up and get ready. 

You've just finished making a quick breakfast and a second coffee for your guest when there was a knock at the door. 

Mr. Zane, or Mark - as he insisted you should call him - was definitely worth whatever Toto was paying him because he was able to find a discrepancy in your contract that not only could void it after 30 days of you not being assigned a "full-length uninterrupted interview", based solely on the word uninterrupted, you could also sue the network based on precedence you wouldn't be able to repeat under any threats.

He already drafted a proper resignation letter mentioning all the legal things, and next to that, there was a letter from his firm stating that a failure to comply would result in legal action. You only wanted to add one condition to the things he prepared - you wanted to be the one to announce your departure from the network first; on your personal social media and without naming specific reasons.

He quickly edited the file to include that condition, and passed the tablet to you to sign, and just like that - everything was taken care of. And as a bonus, he checked a statement you quickly prepared, just to make sure the wording was ok, and after a few tweaks, you had it ready to post as soon as you got a reply from the HR department. And Mark assured you that they should confirm everything when the message will be marked as read since everything was effective immediately. 

A twenty-minute meeting saved you a full month of additional work, and with that, you were officially free. And unemployed. You would just have to return all the network-issued gear and vacate the room they paid for as soon as possible, which shouldn't be an issue, since the majority of your things were already here. You also no longer could use your press pass and network ID, but that wasn't going to be a problem, since you had no desire to do so. Sure, it was a dick move to leave your colleagues in the middle of the season, especially when there was supposed to be coverage tomorrow on track. But your resignation was a great opportunity for someone to put to good use. 

To your surprise, you got the notification that your Network acknowledges your resignation and accept the terms before Mark left the suite, and you had to make sure three times that it was indeed real because it still felt like a dream. After he finished the coffee, he congratulated you on your freedom, and just like that - he was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and you immediately went into damage control mode, making call after call to your friends in the network, letting them know that you're no longer with the company; you didn’t want them to find out from a company-wide email, or worse - your social media. To those you couldn't reach, you wrote a message, and since all of you were basically in the same camp, there was no one who was bitter or angry; your friends fully supported your decision. Sure, there were a few less-than-appropriate comments, but all were in good faith.

Toto came back from the gym while you were still on the phone, and gave you a quick kiss on the top of your head in passing, because he didn't want to hug you when he was still sweaty, and before he disappeared in the bathroom, you mouthed "It's done, thank you...", and you could almost feel the pride radiating off of him, even though you basically didn't do anything. A question on the other side of the line made you turn around and focus on the reply.

When he came out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his hips you couldn't help but stare a bit, and Toto just smiled when he caught you, came closer, and wrapped his arms around you, while you put your right hand on his shoulder blade, pulling him closer, so you could rest your cheek on his chest. His skin was so warm after the shower, that you could just melt into it, but you knew you couldn't stay like that long, because he had to get ready, and you had to continue the call session. Well, you technically didn't have to, but you wanted to explain whatever you could in person. 

You eventually let go of him, still deep in a conversation with your friend from the weather department, who just asked about your plans for t   future. You started telling her a rough idea of the project, and while Toto was getting dressed, you went to the kitchen to make him a coffee and take the breakfast out of the fridge, so he wouldn't miss it. You knew you didn't have to do that, but you enjoyed doing small things like that for him, and he did the same for you.

It looked like he would have a virtual meeting first because he took out his laptop, so you left him at the kitchen island and quietly closed the door to the bedroom, from where you continued your calls. You honestly thought that it would take less time, and after the sixth call, everything became so repetitive, that you honestly started to regret that you didn't make a group chat and let them know by a meme that you quit. 

But you eventually finished, and it was almost 11. It's not like you had something else to do today since you were officially free, but that feeling of guilt for not doing anything specific was present in the back of your brain, so you sighed and came into the other room, trying to figure out if Toto was still in the meeting, and when you heard your own voice coming from his laptop, you realized that he definitely wasn't. 

You lowered the barstool he was sitting on so you could take a look over his shoulder to see what he was watching, and the sudden movement down made him laugh. You hugged him from behind and rested your chin on his shoulder, because for once you could do that without abysmally tall high heels. He was watching your interview with Lewis from yesterday, and you came just in time to see him walking into a frame and putting his jacket over your shoulders. 

- My hero... - you laughed, and you pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. You stayed like that until the video ended, and after it did, you reached under his arm and scrolled down to see the comments, and you immediately started shaking, trying to contain laughter.

- "Y/N is so strong because I simply would have fainted if he did that to me..." - you read out loud the latest one, and he took over scrolling, so you wouldn't have to strain your wrist. - Oh, Mr. Wolff, please catch me in your strong arms if I faint...? - you couldn't help yourself and he shook his head with disbelief.

- It will be hard for me to catch you if you're behind me... - he laughed, and pulled you in front of him, basically switching your positions, so you leaned on him and intertwined your fingers with his on your stomach. 

- This one is funny... "Y/N is definitely in a secret relationship with Lewis Hamilton. In this essay I will...". - he read out loud, and you couldn't help but laugh. A quick look in the top right corner told you that you were still logged into your account on his computer, so you hit reply and commented "Where is the essay, OP...?", and he laughed even harder. 

- I like this one "A single mom who works two jobs, and one o  the jobs is definitely making sure his favorite son won't get sick", it's a reference to a song... - you added and you could feel him smiling, while you typed, but you hesitated before you hit send. - Are we ok with that...? - you made sure, even though it wasn't anything specific, just a slight suggestion. "Ok, but like are we sure-sure he's single?" 

- Are you ok with that...? - he flipped the question, and instead of replying you just sent the comment, and you could feel him pulling you closer, so you basically sat on his lap now. - Do I want to know what that means? - he pointed at one of the comments that read "Where is that fan cam of Toto to "big boy" because I suddenly need it to survive.", and you laughed again.

- I don't think I've ever seen this specific one, but people take clips of other people, in this case, you, and put them together to different songs. I suspect in this case they refer to you looking very hot, Neshama Sheli. - he couldn't help but laugh. 

- I don't think I'd like to see that... I would be much more interested in seeing fan cams of you, Schatzi. - you shook your head and wrinkled your nose, when he pressed a quick kiss to your temple, while you continued scrolling, and while there were a lot of comments about pet race, Toto's gesture was the second thing people talked about the most, and you both laughed from one more "I volunteer as a headset!", referring to the fact that there were times when he didn't treat his headsets the best. 

Only after you saw a comment where someone said that they can't wait for your next interview with Lewis, you realized something. 

- Shit, I forgot to post the official information about my resignation. - you immediately grabbed your phone and posted the prepared statement across all your social media. 

- By the way, I requested a Mercedes pass for you till the end of the season, so you could still come and go to the tracks as you want. - he said when you finally closed his laptop and turned around so you were facing each other. 

- Thank you. - this time you had to lean a bit to kiss him, and you would have lied if you said that you didn't enjoy it. 

- Is there anything else I can do for you, love? - he asked, pressing his forehead to yours. 

- Actually... - you took a deep breath - I want to get in front of the possible rumors, and I want to announce, well... us. - a giant smile bloomed on his face while he pulled you for another kiss. 

- No more hiding...? - he asked more as a formality, but he also wanted to make sure that you were 100% ok with sharing that part of your life.

- No more hiding. - you confirmed, your voice surprisingly confident.

- Then what are you waiting for? - you couldn't help but laugh. 

- It's a whole process... You know business and management, I know journalism, but more important - I know social media, and I know exactly how quickly the information and wild theories will spread in this community. – this whole endeavor would require some finesse, and you honestly debated if you shouldn’t leak your relationship to a few drama channels yourself to avoid ripping the Band-Aid yourself, but it would be much messier that way.

- I understand. What do you need me to do...? - he asked and leaned back on the stool a bit, so he could look at you better. 

- Take a selfie with me... I was thinking about posting it with information that I will go live and answer questions for about 30 minutes to dispel any craziness that will definitely come up sooner or later. - you explained your plan. All of it still seemed so surreal...

- Sounds good. Is that all you need? - he asked again, closing his knees a bit, and squeezing you between them.

- I mean, I still need to get the rest of my stuff from the other hotel, but I'll do that later today. - you sighed. You had more things to do, but this one had a deadline 

- I'll drive you. - he said as if it was the most obvious thing, and it wasn't even a question.

- Toto, you have a race to think of... And I am perfectly capable of doing that myself. - you tried to steer his mind away from taking care of you, but he didn't budge.

- I know... But consider this - I want to. - well, how could you argue with such sound logic? - Do you have any ideas for the photo?

- Not really, but I don't want it super staged, so I guess... just smile...? - he placed a quick kiss on the tip of your nose, and you turned around, sat on his lap, and turned the camera on the two of you, while he leaned a bit forward and rested his chin on your shoulder. You quickly took a few pictures in a row, while he placed another kiss on your cheek and you couldn't help but smile. And when you started lowering your phone, you felt the vibrations in his pocket, but it was to be expected. He chose to ignore them in favor of another few seconds this close to you. - Answer your phone, Meu Tudão... - and with a heavy sigh he did, while you stood up from his lap and started to choose the best of the photos. And the one when he kissed your cheek and you smiled was just perfect. 

You quickly cropped it so the proportions would fit the layout of the website, and made the picture a bit brighter, but that was it. The description only read "30 min live AMA at noon, get ready". You turned the screen in Toto's direction, so he could take a look, and he gave you thumbs up and a huge smile, and that was enough for you to post it. 

Not even a minute passed and the notifications started blowing up your phone to the point that you had to turn them off for this specific app in fear of it crashing every few seconds. 

You still had at least 10 minutes till the live, so you got something to drink from the fridge, because you suspected that 30 minutes of talking might make you a bit parched. You also carefully chose the place you wanted to stream from. Definitely not in front of the window because of the light, and you didn't want to share the view, so you opted for a couch set on the wall perpendicularly to the floor-length windows. You also made sure that there weren't any personal items in the frame, just in case. 

Toto was still on the phone, but as soon as you started your live, he moved to the bedroom, because the things he was talking about weren't exactly public. 

- Hi everyone... Oh, wow... There are a lot of people here... Jeez... - you looked at a quickly growing count indicating how many people were currently watching you, and the number was significant; you knew that neither of you was exactly anonymous, but it still exceeded expectations. - Ok, I'm gonna give everyone one more minute to join in and then I'll start answering questions... - you explained and leaned back a bit, but still made sure that the angle was good. You slowed down the chat, just so you'd be able to read anything. - How am I...? I'm great! Nervous as hell, but I'm actually great. - you didn't want to be quiet for that minute, so you decided to answer a few general questions. - Where am I...? I'm currently at the Ritz-Carlton... - You saw that the number of viewers started to stabilize, so you knew it was time.

- Ok, time for some serious questions and serious answers. As usual, I won't engage with anything vulgar or inappropriate, so make sure to keep your questions clean. But first some general info, so we're on the same page... - you took a deep breath because it would be the first time you shared that information out of your own free will. - Yes, me and Toto Wolff are together. We've been together for just over a year now... - you couldn't help but smile when you saw the flood of reactions in the chat, and you tried to catch as many questions as you could. - Did anyone know? No, not until yesterday. We decided to keep it private because of my career. Is someone blackmailing me to share that information...? - you couldn't help but laugh. - No, no... I'm doing it out of my own free will, no blackmail involved. - you took a moment to get to another question. - Did my departure from the network was because of our relationship? No, it's not. I keep my work life separated from my private life and there was no influence either way. - another quick break to catch up and read the question. - Why did I quit my job? I didn't quit my job. It was a mutual departure because our priorities no longer lined up and continuing that partnership wouldn't be good for either me or them. - you stuck to the things Mark approved earlier today. - Why am I sharing this now? Since I no longer will be working around the track, there was no reason to keep it secret. - you noticed that Toto left the bedroom, the phone still in his hand, but he was no longer on a call. You didn't ask him to join you, and you were prepared to do the AMA alone, but he sat next to you and wrapped his arm around you, and the chat exploded again. - Say hi to everyone... There are over 20k people watching us now... - you almost instinctively leaned into him. 

- Hello everyone! And wow! 20k just for us? That's impressive! - he leaned forward a bit, so the angle would be better. 

- Do you want to answer a few questions, Ya Amar? - he smiled, and you could see on the screen that he wasn't looking at the camera, only at you, and that warmed your heart. 

- Sure, why not... - he chuckled quietly. 

- So how did we meet? - you relayed one of the questions that popped up in the chat with a smile because the mere memory of that afternoon was more than enough to put you in good mood. 

- Well, believe it or not, it was nowhere near the track. She actually yelled at me, because I accidentally destroyed the flowerbed in front of a small B&B she was staying at, and that was enough for me to know then and there... - he smiled when you looked at him, and you couldn't help but blush a bit. 

- And I did that fully knowing who he was because the older couple put so much work into maintaining that flowerbed and he just... run over it! - you built on top of his story. 

- In my defense, I did that to avoid hitting a squirrel! - now both of you were laughing, and it took you a second to remember that you should be answering more questions. 

- Where was our first date? - you read the question out loud, and you were preparing to answer it when Toto cut you off.

- Oh, that's easy... Deutsches Technikmuseum in Berlin, and it lasted what... 10, 11 hours? - he replied and pulled you closer.

- Yup, it's a very big museum, and we were there since it opened till it closed, and we still didn't see everything. And after that, we went to a park and just sat on the grass and talked. It was perfect. - you added. You didn't want to share more details like - a much too expensive, very poor-quality dinner you sneaked onto the roof of the brewery on the museum grounds... Or the cheap strawberry champagne with glitter, which you chose only because you thought he would never buy or drink it, and which later exploded in his hands before he even managed to open it, soaking both of you in a pink, sugary, sticky residue; fortunately, neither of you got hurt then.

- Indeed... It was perfect because it was with you... - he leaned a bit and pressed his forehead to your temple, and you looked at the chat again in search of another question.

- Do we live together? Come on guys, that's too personal. What did we do for our first anniversary...? We spent a whole week on a cabin cruiser in Greece, just the two of us... - you could feel his hand gently stroking your back. - Ok, we're over the 30min mark here, so one last question and we're done. Make it a good one, guys... Ok, ok... - you took a moment to actually choose the question. - What are our favorite things about each other...? For me, it's your smile. - you replied, more to him, than to the chat. - I know it's cheesy, but it represents so many things... It makes me feel safe and cared for, it tells me that there is nothing to worry about, and no matter what - everything will be all right. And even when I'm having the worst day of my life, when I see you smile, it all disappears, because you give me the strength to get through everything. - you said and he pulled you in for a quick kiss. 

- For me, it's also easy... You make me want to be a better person in every area of my life. You push me to do things I wouldn't even consider before I met you by forcing me to look at things from different perspectives. You have this way of listening to my problems, that makes me realize exactly how to deal with them, doesn't matter if it's about work or about something private... And you make me want to be a better man for you, a partner you could be proud of. - this time you were the one who pulled him into a kiss, not caring how many people were watching you, although currently, they were watching more of the ceiling than the two of you. 

- Ok guys... Thank you so much for watching, that's going to be it for today... - you centered the camera on you and Toto again. - Take care, everyone! - and with that, you ended the live. 

- That went well. - he said, pulling you closer, and you leaned into his body. 

- Actually, better than I expected. But I guess we'll see what the articles will say in a few hours. 

- Do you think there will be articles...? 

- Oh, there definitely will be articles... And I can guarantee that at least one of them will be titled something like "Austrian billionaire and his latest, much younger fling" or "A principal and his student". People on my side of the media are vultures... - you couldn't stop the sigh that came out of your chest, but even though you knew that people would take the one thing about your relationship and run with it till the end of Earth, you honestly didn't care. Not when Toto's arms were tightly wrapped around you. - Oh, and an honest heads up - you and your team will definitely be asked about me during media hour... - you closed your eyes, letting yourself relax a little. 

- Do you care about how we will be perceived? - he asked with that pure childish honesty in his voice. 

- 6 months ago, I honestly wouldn't be able to sleep because of it... But now...? - you smiled and looked up just so you could see his face. - Now I truly don't give a fuck. - he couldn't stop the light chuckle that made his chest vibrate under you. - And I pity people whose lives are so boring that the only entertainment they can come up with is making up lies about two people who clearly love each other... - you leaned back again, savoring this moment, because you could just feel that it will and soon. After all - it was still racing season, and even though positions for tomorrow were already assigned, Toto still had a lot to do before the race. 

Part 4

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[weirdraccoon]

If I can ask you for another one shot 😙.It's set quite a few years after the events of Hogwarts and mc gets pregnant with Sebastian and it turns out it's a little girl and they call her Miriam, can I ask what Fig's reaction would be? 💜💜

Sorry for the wait! Been working on this during my free time and then I was writing it here in drafts and I closed it before saving it and had to rewrite half of it 😭😭 hope it's good. I really like daddy!Seb.

MC couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of her husband.

Sebastian was cooing at the bundle of blankets in his arms, making faces and showering them with all the love and affection he had. MC's heart was soaring, and it would probably explode if she could actually see the giggling baby inside the blankets.

As it was, Sebastian claimed it was too chilly for her baby girl and proceeded to cover her and wrap her in all the blankets he could find before they had to leave for Fig's apartment.

"Who's a good baby girl?" Sebastian cooed, nuzzling the blanket, or that was what it looked like, he probably had a better view of the hidden baby in there. "Who's the best baby girl?"

"I am," MC smirked from his side, making him choke on his own laughter.

"Merlin, MC, not in front of the baby," Sebastian scolded playfully.

MC only shrugged.

They finally arrived at the building and she pulled the door open for her babies.

"Why, thank you," Sebastian grinned jokingly, making her roll her eyes.

"Just get in," MC said. "They're waiting for us."

Sebastian's grin remained in place even as he leaned to kiss her chastely.

As she suspected, their friends and former professors were already there when they entered the apartment. Aesop and Dinah were the first to notice them, so they made their way to them.

"And how's my most troublemaker student doing these days?" Dinah asked with a teasing grin, trying to peak over the blankets in Sebastian's arms.

"She's talking to you, love," Sebastian told MC.

MC scoffed and Dinah rolled her eyes.

"I'm certainly talking to you Sebastian," the old witch said. "I have to admit sometimes I miss you in my classroom but not in the castle in general."

Sebastian feigned hurt and looked at Aesop for help when it was clear MC was not going to step in.

"I understand the feeling all to well, Dinah," Aesop shrugged carelessly, glancing at the red head on the other side of the room. "I can't believe we have to see them in this reunions. How Eleazar does it is anyone's guess."

"Aw please you all love us," MC teased. "I bet you do miss us. Tha castle must be boring if the new generations don't break the rules as often."

"With ideas like that? We don't," Matilda added with a tired sigh and a warm smile. "How are you doing? Is this the new Sallow?"

"Ah yes, quit distracting us," Dinah frowned. "When are you introducing your baby?"

"Unless you expect us to wait until they're eleven," Aesop said sarcastically.

"She," MC clarified, blushing. "I was actually- I wanted to talk to Eleazar first. Grandparent privileges and all."

Dinah, much like Sebastian earlier, feigned a hurt wince and even put her free hand over her chest.

"Sebastian, what about me?"

Sebastian chuckled and Aesop shooed them off with an eye roll.

"He was in the kitchen the last time I saw him," Matilda said. "Ignore Dinah. She's had a bit too much to drink I think."

"Nah, she's fine," Sebastian grinned. "But I wasn't the one carrying this cutie pie for nine months. So, mom's the boss. For now," he added in a whisper.

"I heard that!" MC called over her shoulder.

Sebastian snickered and followed her through the crowd, avoiding their closest friends and the nosiest people. Sebastian was surprised when he noticed Ominis in a corner talking to Poppy. Now he was even more excited to show off his little girl. He'd put her in his best friends arms and call him godfather before he could protest.

The kitchen was more quiet. Eleazar was standing near the oven, whispering something to the house elf guarding whatever it was in there.

"And when they arrive I want the other elves to bring out the cake," Eleazar continued. "Champagne too, although I'm not sure if she's allowed to drink while breast feeding. Maybe champagne isn't a good idea."

"Eli! Don't talk about me breast feeding with the elves!" MC cried, red as a tomato.

Eleazar spun around so fast he almost toppled over the elf behind him. Said elf looked at MC with fear and pulled on his ears.

"The cake is not ready yet, Misus!"

"Don't worry about the cake," MC waved him off. "Eli, tell your elf to stop punishing himself and come meet your granddaughter."

Eleazar looked stunned and Sebastian giggled into the blankets that covered his daughter. MC sighed fondly and took one of Eleazar's hands to pull him close to them.

"Seb," she asked.

Sebastian straightened up, like a proud parent, and offered his baby to the man that saved MC all those years ago.

"Meet Miriam Anne Sallow, Eli," MC introduced softly.

Eleazar was staring at the baby in awe and he jolted at hearing the name. He glanced at MC and Sebastian, the stunned expression not leaving his face. Sebastian nodded knowingly and offered a warm smile.

"She's beautiful, MC," Eleazar whispered, tearing up when baby Miriam grinned gummily up at him. "Looks exactly like you."

"Well, that's the Sallow hair," MC winced. "And she could have freckles."

"Babe," Sebastian took her fidgeting hand. "Accept the compliment. She's as beautiful as her mom and everyone can see it."

MC blushed, not as hard as before, and nodded.

"I'm proud of you," Eleazar finished, giving back the baby to her dad who welcomed her into his arms excitedly. "You're doing great."

MC hugged Eleazar while Sebastian jumped from one foot to the other. MC laughed.

"Go show Ominis, Seb."

Sebastian didn't need to be told twice. He left father-daughter in the kitchen while he took his own daughter to meet her godfather.

[collegetennisoriginstory]

I wanted to throw in my opinion on the Trans MC if you want it! Option 3 would be a lot of extra writing and coding, so I get that it wouldn't be a decision made lightly and it would be added pressure to get it right and it's a sensitive topic for sure. I will say that if you chose to go this route tho, it would make a huge difference and mean a lot to us. I'm a trans athlete, and the lack of representation can be really discouraging. It's time like these where we are receiving so much hate, especially when it comes to sports, that allies could really step up and make a difference. Reading can really open people's minds! It may be difficult and uncomfortable, and take extra work, but that's our everyday tbh. We out here living on hard mode 😂 that's just my thoughts on the matter but I will respect you and read your story either way. Much love 🏳️‍⚧️♥️

Hey! Thank you so much for sending this! This gets long, forgive my wordiness.

First off, I really feel your statement to the bone, the part about how allies could step up and make a difference, and how positive rep in media, games etc. is insanely important.

So many stories, TV shows, movies have shaped my experience of being queer and POC, and while some of them have been nice just so I could see someone like myself being represented, the ones that really made an impact are of course the ones where these identities were explored in a sensitive, thoughtful way. (When I watched Saving Face for the first time at 17, about a queer Chinese American doctor, I bawled my eyes out and dont think I've been the same since).

I would absolutely love if CT:OS/my IFs could do this for trans athletes too.

I've seen/heard so many worrying statements about trans athletes (both in real life and in the media)—and it makes me so sad.

Some that really get me really riled up are: The idea that a trans athlete's accomplishments mean nothing because they "have an unfair advantage" (or putting it down to "just hormones" or whatever instead of recognizing the hardwork, skill, and dedication behind EVERY successul athlete, trans or not). Or the idea that trans athletes shouldn't get to choose to be trans if they want to be athletes. Or the idea of policing trans athletes' bodies or forcing them to undergo surgery in order for them to be "valid"...

Well, FUCK THAT. FUCK those people.

If my IF can help celebrate trans athletes, and combat/shut down the really harmful (and ignorant) rhetoric out there? I'd love to do that.

But since I am not trans myself, it feels doubly, triply important that I wade really carefully here. I'd really need to spend time making sure I like and can stand behind what I'm putting out. I don't think it'd be responsible representation, otherwise!

I'm not really a perfectionist about my writing and that's how I make progress on my IFs while working a full time job. I'm more the... "slap shit tgt, get it out there, get feedback and edit if I feel like it" kind of writer. And I don't think I'd be able to finish CT:OS / Merry Crisis any other way. But when it comes to race, gender, and sexual identity? I really. Really. Wanna get things right.

(I rewrote that Rayyan convo about being a POC athlete with Deepal so many times haha and it was already marginally less scary, since I am a POC athlete.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree it's so goddamn important to have trans stories, and rep, especially in sports, where views are often so toxic and polarized.

But I don't think I know yet whether I see my IF being more a simple "yay, trans rep" kind of space or an actual deeper exploration of what it means to be a trans athlete. I was quite prepared to add the option to be trans (+ any accompanying scenes etc.) when I have the complete CT:OS 1st draft, but I was also toying with the idea of just putting something imperfect into the game earlier.

Faced with indecision, I've opted for: procrastination. I am still waffling, but it was helpful to hear what you guys think. Thank you so much for your message.

Lots of love, keep being awesome ❤️

[livelaughwhump]

Masterlist

Yes! I love this idea! Sorry I couldn't answer the ask directly. After I saved it to my drafts, it wouldn't let me edit it again. @rosekins621

Content: mentioned past trauma, mentioned past captivity, regression, self-deprecation, self-hatred, former pet whumpee

-

Elliot stared blankly out the window as the world rushed by in a blur. The storage truck behind the van lurched over a pothole and Elliot cringed at the sound. He wondered if any of the team's belongings would be broken by the time they arrived. Fortunately, Elliot didn't own much, so it didn't really matter to him

"Are you excited, El?" Broderick asked from the driver's seat.

Elliot shrugged. Truthfully, he wasn't. He didn't like moving. He'd moved too many times as a kid and the process only served to make him anxious. Moving from foster home to foster home, then back to the children's home. That's what this felt like.

Lyra gently rubbed his shoulder. "It's not your fault we're moving, if that's what you're thinking."

It wasn't, but now that was all he could think about. "Aren't-Aren't we moving because of M-Master?" He asked timidly.

Yvonne shook her head. "No, of course not." Karine cleared her throat and nudged Yvonne, who chuckled awkwardly and said, "I mean...that's part of it, yeah." Elliot sighed and turned back to face the window. "It's just that Christian knows where the old safe house is. Our best chance at evading him is moving far away. Don't worry, though. The new safehouse is gonna be almost exactly like our old one."

Elliot glanced over at her again. "Almost?"

Yvonne pressed her lips into a tight line and flushed. Karine pinched the bridge of her nose. They were clearly hiding something, but Elliot didn't care enough to push the subject.

Lyra, of course, knew the real reason behind his reaction to moving. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry, sunshine. The only thing that's changing is our house. We're all still here and we always will be." Elliot nodded, but it was the only reaction he could muster.

The truck came to a sudden stop and Elliot felt his heart sink. This was exactly how it felt whenever he was forced to meet a new family that would inevitably give him up in a few weeks.

Lyra held his hand as the team spilled out of the van and continued to do so as they entered the house. Elliot refused to look at the house as they entered, but he could hear the echo of their footsteps bouncing off the empty walls.

"Elliot? Do you want to pick out your room first?" Karine asked.

Elliot briefly looked up at the hallway of open doors before them. He shook his head.

Landon shrugged. "Guess I'll choose first then."

Karine elbowed him in the ribs and whispered, "You know where you're going, moron."

Landon groaned. "Can't we re-vote? Why do I have to be in the basement?"

Elliot gasped upon hearing that final word and tears instantly sprung to his eyes. "B-Basement?"

Karine smacked Landon upside the head, which made Elliot flinch.

Lyra knelt in front of him and gently held his hands. "Sunshine, it's okay. It's nothing like Christian's basement. It's like a little hang out spot with a bedroom attached. It's fully furnished with a TV and a mini bar."

"But since three of us don't really drink, we'll probably use it as an extra kitchen," Yvonne added

"Speak for yourself," Landon said. "If I'm living in the basement, I'm doing whatever I want with that area."

Karine flicked him. "You need to stop talking," she scolded.

Elliot started crying. "I-I don't w-wanna go b-back in the basement. P-Please, don't l-lock me up. I can be g-good."

"Oh, sunshine. You are good. You're the best, in fact. We're not locking you up, I promise," Lyra assured him. "Why dont we show you so you can see for yourself?"

Elliot's eyes went round.

It's a trick. They're gonna take you down to the basement and put you in chains and leave you there for the rest of your miserable life. You'll never see the sun again after today

Lyra held his hand and gently led him to a door along the opposite wall from the bedrooms. "Look, it's right here. I'm just gonna open the door and show you, okay? I just want you to look. You don't even have to go down." Elliot's breath hitched as they started to turn the doorknob.

They're gonna push you down the stairs and lock the door behind you

Lyra opened the door to reveal a carpeted staircase leading down into darkness.

Look at it, mutt. Look at the darkness. That's where you're going. Down into the endless dark and cold, and you're never coming back up

Elliot started sobbing and instantly dropped to the ground, groveling at Lyra's feet. "No, please! Please, Master, I'll do anything! Please, don't l-leave me in the d-dark. I p-promise I can be a g-good pet. I-I'll sleep on-on the floor or-or even outside if-if I have to. P-Please, a-anything but th-that." Tears began to pool on the floor and his pathetic sobs echoed in the empty house.

"Elliot," Lyra gently said. Elliot Pet flinched and wrapped its arms protectively around its head. "Sunshine, it's okay, really. No one is going to hurt you and you never have to set foot down there if you don't want to, I promise. You're safe."

Pet was quivering uncontrollably. "I'm s-sorry, Master."

Lyra's heart shattered. Karine leaned over to Landon and whispered, "Go get Elliot's things from the truck and start setting up his room."

"What?" Landon whisper-shouted. "Why me?"

"Because this is your fault. I told you not to mention the basement and now he's in his pet headspace again," Karine pointed out. "He doesn't have much. It's just his mattress, his comforter, his bedside table, and his lamp. He needs something comforting and familiar, so go do it or I'll lock the door to the basement and you'll end up sleeping on the couch from now on."

Landon ground his jaw until he looked at the pitiful state that Elliot was in; the way his shoulders shook, the humiliating position he'd willingly put himself in, the tears pooling beneath his head. Landon sighed. "Fine."

As Landon left, Karine quickly ushered Broderick and Yvonne out as well until it was just Lyra and Elliot in the hallway.

"Sunshine? Can you look at me please?" Lyra asked. Pet did as it was told. It lifted its tear-streaked face from the floor and locked eyes with Lyra. Lyra smiled at it. "There's my boy," they said. "Can you tell me your name?"

Pet answered without thinking. "S-Slaves don't h-have names."

Lyra slowly shook their head. "Even if that were true, you're not a slave. Not anymore. I know you know it. What's your name?"

Pet had to think for several long seconds before it figured out the answer Lyra was looking for. Everyone on the team had their own nicknames for him, but there was one thing that they all called him. "E-E-Elliot."

Lyra's smile grew. "Good job," they softly praised. "Now, where are we?"

Pet Elliot glanced around the empty space they were in. "Our-Our new s-safehouse?"

"Exactly, and who am I?"

"L-Lyra."

She nodded. "And have I, Lyra, ever hurt you?" Elliot shook his head. "Would I ever hurt you?" He shook his head again. "So, what do you have to be afraid of?"

Elliot glanced to his right at the—now-closed—basement door, then back to her. "N-Nothing."

Lyra's smile grew again. "Exactly. I won't ever let anything happen to you, Elliot. As long as I'm here, you have nothing to be afraid of." Elliot nodded in understanding. "Can you tell me your name one more time?"

"E-Elliot."

"Very good. And do you feel more like Elliot or more like Pet right now?"

"I-I feel like E-Elliot."

Lyra gently kissed his forehead, a proud smile on her face. "I'm so proud of you, Elliot. How are you feeling now?"

Elliot thought about it, still glancing at the basement door. "I-I feel o-okay. Do-Do you p-promise I-I won't have to go down there?"

"I promise," Lyra said. "Don't think of it as a basement, okay? Just think of it as Landon's room with a downward staircase. Can you do that?" Elliot nodded. "Great. Are you ready to help unload the truck?"

Elliot's gaze wavered. "Can-Can you h-hold me for-for a little while f-first?"

Lyra smiled and opened her arms. "Always." Elliot crawled into her embrace and relaxed. She rocked him back and forth, carding her fingers through his hair.

Elliot couldn't help the smile that began to crawl across his face as he let Lyra hold him. He was still frightened of the basement, but he truly believed that Lyra would never let anything bad happen to him. If she promised him that he wouldn't have to go to the basement, then he believed her.

-

I hope you enjoyed this! This was a lot of fun to write. Unfortunately, this is going to be a non-canon drabble, as the team is not moving (for a very specific reason that I will be happy to explain at some point) but I do consider the end scene of Lyra comforting Elliot to be canon because I like to believe that Elliot slips into his "Pet" headspace every once in a while and Lyra is always there to help him out of it.

If anyone else has any drabble requests, suggestions, or questions for me or my characters, please feel free to send them to me!

Taglist

@l-antre-des-merveilles @pigeonwhumps @nicolepascaline @burningkittypoet @whumpinggrounds @suffering-and-misery @make-them-scream @honeycollectswhump @rabass @whumpdreamz @clairelsonao3 @rosewriteswhump @cepheusgalaxy @pinkraindropsfell @mj-or-say10 @considerablecolors @whatamidoingherehelpme @whumped4whumplover @ladybizarre13 @theaustralianfrog

If anyone wants to be added to or removed from the taglist, please let me know!😊

Or if you only want to be tagged in main chapters

[antaresr]

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I probably look crazy doing it.

The draft/first chapter of the Kleptoshipping Fic, and I'm posting it because I need some encouragement xd

Again, English is not my first language, so I apologize if there is any inconsistency.

Yūgi was tense, they had made it all the way to the semi-finals and the other duelists didn't show up, he knew Marik would arrive and he and his other self needed to be ready for whatever he had planned.

The wind suddenly shifted and a figure emerged from the shadows of the stadium, Yūgi shrinking into himself until the person came into view, the white hair unmistakable.

"Bakura!" he and Jounouchi shouted at the same time.

"How is your wound?" Anzu was the first to worry, Yūgi opened his eyes when he heard her, he turned his eyes to his friend's arm when he started to itch his own wound after Jounouchi told him that they had heard that he had disappeared from the hospital, he held his breath when he saw the bandage soaked with blood.

It was too much blood for a cut, it should have been deep and painful, but instead Bakura was as if nothing had happened.

The spirit of the ring, is controlled by the spirit of the ring. It was obvious, Bakura had always shown that he could not withstand physical exertion, such a wound should be extremely painful for him. But not for the spirit. He concluded in his mind.

Just as he was about to speak to the ring spirit, a new duelist appeared, sending a shiver down his spine: Marik?

"Namu!" his friends shouted.

"We meet again, Jounouchi, Anzu" he was suspiciously friendly, his voice was too... wrong.

Yūgi had his reservations, it was strange, Yūgi had sensed something when this guy came in, maybe he wasn't the smartest, but his instinct had never failed, he knew that Jounouchi and Honda weren't bad and he had guessed right, so this guy must be....

"You're the one who saved me!" Bakura's shout interrupted his thoughts and he concentrated on the exchange.

"It is you! How's your wound?" he had changed, he looked relieved, almost happy.

"Yūgi, let me introduce you"Anzu came closer. "This is Namu, he's our friend, right, Jounouchi?"

Anzu trusted him, so the guy couldn't be bad, right? Maybe Yūgi was wrong for the first time? Maybe it was the stress of the upcoming confrontations and the possibility of meeting Marik that made him suspicious, besides he had helped Bakura, Yūgi bit his lower lip after the handshake with Namu.

"Yūgi, look at this!" the ring entered his field of vision, then he was right, one of the needles was pointing towards the entrance of the stadium. "It's reacting, it will be here soon."

Yugi turned to where the ring was pointing and stiffened, a hooded man entered, the aura he radiated was cold, and when he passed him and looked at him, he felt like he could fall down from shaking legs, the guy was powerful.

"Yūgi, who possesses Osiris, Kaiba, who possesses Obelisk, I must defeat them and get the God Cards back" his voice was cold and determined, Yūgi had no doubt that the guy was willing to get rid of them by any way, his power was terrible.

"Seven duelists have gathered here, I have something to announce" Isono called out, placing himself between Marik and them, as if he too unconsciously felt his power "All the winners of the preliminaries have gathered in the state of Domino, but the final arena is not here, the real arena will soon appear before us."

Suddenly, the airship appeared above the stadium, the lights illuminated it, giving it a triumphant entrance, and it began to descend into the arena.

"This is the final arena?" Yūgi asked in shock.

"That is correct, its name is Battle Ship!" Isono said in an authoritative voice, adding to the excitement. "The arena for the first round will be a thousand meters in the air."

Suddenly, a thought struck Yūgi and he turned to Isono, as well as Kaiba and Mokuba.

"Are there emergency kits inside?" the three looked at him, Kaiba with a raised eyebrow, but he didn't care.

"Eh, yes, the rooms are equipped to..." He didn't let the bodyguard finish as he already pulled Bakura into the airship.

"Yugi?" the voice wavered between anger and confusion.

He entered one of the rooms and sat Bakura down on the bed and searched for the first aid kit and when he found it, he returned to Bakura's side, opened the box and found everything he needed.

He hurried to undo the bandage that Bakura already had on, since the spirit didn't complain, Yūgi continued with his self-imposed task, taking out the small disinfectant spray and spraying it on the wound, then cleaning it with a gauze that he had just taken out of its sterile packaging.

"Does it hurt?" he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence in the room. "Bakura's skin seems to be sensitive, but it doesn't seem to bother you."

He listened to the slight inspiration of the ghost, he thought he had made him angry and now he was going to attack him, but no, although he did not answer his question, his voice remained soft, just like him.

"You don't seem to be bothered that I pretended to be your friend" a slight snort, maybe to hide a reaction to the burning of the cream he was putting on him, Yūgi knew it could be annoying.

"I am bothered" to prove his point, he pressed on the wound until Bakura groaned and let go. "But it's my friend's body, if I have to take care of you to make him well, I will."

He put some clean gauze over the wound and began to bandage it tightly enough to stop the bleeding but not cut off the blood supply to his arm, then he looked up and saw the face of his friend, the spirit, just looking at him with surprised eyes and an open mouth, as if he was stuck with his words and didn't know what to say.

"I have to go," he quickly closed the medicine kit, but not before taking out a strip of pills and getting up from the bed, he held out the strip and the spirit took it. "Take these pills if your arm hurts."

And he hurried out of the room, leaned against the door and regulated his breathing, when his heart returned to normal speed he continued his way to another room, where he dropped on the bed, closed his eyes and sighed.

[dandylovesturtles]

For the ask game! :)

LMNSTU

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Usually as I'm writing it (assuming I don't just do it all in one sitting), I'll come back and give it a read over and edit before I start back to work, and then I read over it once more before I post it. that's usually it though. I'm lazy when it comes to editing lol. pretty much all my fics are first drafts.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

well, I do still want to write the fic about Splinter's son (that he didn't know he had) stumbling into their lives post-movie. I have a post about it on here somewhere.

the fic I MEANT to write after I was done with IMBI (before a different AU plagued my brain, which I've been actively working on) is a fic whose working title is "Mikey and Donnie's Step-by-Step Guide for Saving Your Doomed Family," which is the obligatory peepaw fic. It follows Mikey and Donnie, post-movie, building a cross-dimensional time machine to try and save the bad future Hamatos and bring them to the saved present. It's told from Mikey and Donnie's POVs and has a heavy focus on their relationship, both pre- and post-Krang invasion.

I do still really want to write it, it's just that this other thing completely consumed my creative energy. oops.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

uhhh idk. I have lots of ideas all the time that I'll probably never write just because, you know, time and labor lol, but not really any I can think of to put here.

this is the nice thing about fandom kinkmemes (or whatever you would call a SFW kinkmeme), if you have an idea you don't want to write yourself you can just go drop it in a comment and let someone else write it.

I have already answered S

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhh I think my biggest thing that is Popular In Fandom but I Don't Like is AUs that bring fantastical canons into our reality and like, have the characters going to college or working office jobs or whatever. so "modern AUs," except it bums me out that that's the name we settled on because actual modern times in the setting of a fantasy canon could be really fun! Like, I don't want the "modern AU" Dragon Age to have Hawke working at a coffee shop and taking writing classes at the local uni, I want it to have them fighting darkspawn on top of a skyscraper. or like, you can have the Gaang going to college, but why can't they bend anymore! just let them have it!

FFXV is one of my favorite canons purely because it actually shows some of the thought behind like, what if a world had normal modern technology (they're driving around in modern cars and using smartphones) but also monsters and gods and magic. but so many fantasy settings in fiction are either medieval or do the bullshit where you have the "magic world" hidden from the "normal world". no! boring! I want to know how legislative proceedings are affected when congressmen can challenge each other to wizard duels. expand your mind!

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this is list is not in any particular order:

taizi is an amazingly talented writer, there are so many lines in their fics that make me go "wow", and they have such a grasp on character and emotion. they also have some great One Piece fics!

MagicalSpaceDragon is another absolutely incredible writer. their "theseus, and" series is particularly good, but I actually have them in my bookmarks for one of my favorite ROTTMNT fics of all time, "i guess we've really been out of touch (but can it really be so serious)"

and reccing my friend Kiaxet, who is also an amazing writer who mixes hilarity, angst, and heartwarming moments with a deft hand. I'm so excited for the rest of her "Siblingquest 20XX" fic, but all her fics are amazing!

and while they aren't a TMNT writer, I wanna shout out Asidian, who has written several of my favorite FFXV fics (including and especially "Running Behind", which is one of the best MT!Prompto fics, right up there with "poor wayfaring stranger"), and also has some amazing Rise of the Guardians fics (I especially love "Bits and Pieces", which has my favorite trope of "hungry character gets fed", but "Every Boy And Girl" also makes me cry everytime).

thanks for the ask!

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion episode 17: Fourth Child

I regret ever doubting Misato. It was not her who was sus, it was NERV.

Actually, I did wonder if the Angel was trying to communicate with him.

The need for "heart" to operate the Evas is stirring some things in my head.

Toji is a good brother.

ope, my kid is home. I'll save this as a draft and try to resume later.

Okay, it's later. My kid is asleep and I'm squeezing in an episode before I also go to bed. I'm just going to start from the beginning. I think I could probably actually watch this with him because the content doesn't seem too mature for him, however he would not be able to restrain himself from talking through the thing and I would annoy him by pausing the show if I have long notes to make, so he'll just have to wait to see if I feel I must do a second watch after the first one.

I like that Misato is protecting Shinji from this interrogation.

The Angels are EVOLVING?

So I've been thinking about how Adam appeared to be a fetus in a suitcase when Kaji brought him to Gendo and how he was called the first Angel when Kaji showed him to Misato fully grown, so I wonder if instead of dying they just do a little Steven Universe thing and revert back to an embryo? Or actually maybe comparing them to a phoenix is more apt. Also, I did find it weird when the lava Angel pupae looked so similar to fetus Adam but I also take it for granted that all embryos/ early stage fetuses look the same no matter what species they are, so I didn't think too deeply about it. That should have been my first clue that Adam was an Angel and not a person.

What is the S2 drive?

So the base or whatever vanished. It disappeared into the Dirac Sea. Was it the S2 drive and human error that caused this vaporization of sorts or was it an Angel attack?

The dummy plug is very interesting to me. The Eva needs to feel like there is a pilot to sync with. Is it because the implanted personalities long to have a soul again? Or am I just thinking weird things because I'm tired? lol

Is that actually Rei in the tube? I guess it is.

Ritsuko, why so creepy?

Asuka being mean again. Oh, young lady.

Does class rep like Toji??

Rei's got medication she takes.

Rei's reaction to Shinji cleaning up after her was so cute.

She's never said thank you before?

Here we go with some Garden of Eden talk. Is Tokyo-3 the Eden? Maybe it's a space station for when they destroy the Earth.

The Marduk Institute doesn't exist? And Shinji's school seems to be involved. Maybe all the kids there potential pilots.

"But I'm not a girl" Shinji, I love you.

Kaji is a watermelon farmer.

I wonder what traits they select for when choosing pilots.

Kensuke is so nosy,

The birth rate has been falling. Hmmm.

She's offering to make you a lunch, dumbass.

I'm changing Asuka's name to Karen.

In Conclusion

I feel like things are starting to come together but I'm still no closer to figuring out exactly what the secrets here are. Soon, soon.

Toji being the Fourth Children is tugging on my brain because I feel like if I could figure out what about him makes him the candidate they've been looking for then I would have a much better idea of what's going on with the Evas. I had thought there may be some kind of psychic element to this but I haven't seen any signs that they are being evaluated for psychic skills. It seems the "heart" is the most important part, but what determines that there is enough heart? All the pilots are so different, except for that they all do have some kind of trauma. Is that the trick? I don't seem to recall any mention of Toji's parents being killed but he just mentioned that there's no one at home to make a lunchbox for him anymore, so maybe he has lost them. Shinji lost his mother and his dad's a deadbeat, Asuka mentioned she has no one left to care about (if I remember right), and Rei is also alone from what I can tell and may have lost her loved ones horrifically. We know she has no one to make her feel connected to the world with all the suicidal sounding stuff she was saying that upset Shinji. Maybe she was the one who said she had no one left? Could have been both girls. So, I guess now I'm wondering if Toji's sister has died. Anyway, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I have a feeling the dummy plug is going to be a disaster.

That's about all I'm coming up with right now. I have to get to bed or I will regret it in the morning and all day tomorrow, so I will try to watch another episode tomorrow night, but maybe earlier in the evening so I can fit in a couple. We'll see. It all depends on a certain dependent of mine and how fast he goes to bed.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Chat. Chat I finally finished code Lyoko. No I'm not gonna watch the evolutions stuff no matter how pretty the animation looks. Why am I talking about it here? Well. Code Lyoko inspired au anyone? Very very rough draft lol. I don't even know how serious I'll take this outside of my own personal fun.

Area Zero - Honestly still name impending, but this is what's gonna the digital world is gonna be called.

Penny - As I said before ( i think so anyway) is the one behind the super computer. I'm not completely sure if she's the one that finds Arven first or Luca, but she makes it her goal to help get Arven out.

Luca - If not Penny, then he was the one that found Arven. One of the people who goes in Area Zero to fight.....whatever the equivalent of Xana is in Au. Arguably what keeps the group together before they all truly become friends.

R.B - Still a childhood friend of Arven that moved before he went missing. Bitter by how their friendship ended, but doesn't like the idea of him being stuck in Area Zero forever. While not as tech savvy as Penny, she's still the optimal option when Penny isn't at the super computer.

Nemona - Class president at their school and ever so cheery, if a tad dense. Eventually becomes an Area Zero warrior like Luca and R.B. Loves the digital world,mostly bc she gets to move around so much without losing stamina like she does in the real world ( in the real world though, getting devirtualized kinda hits her harder). She's the groups best fighter by far.

Arven - Stuck in Area Zero for the majority of his life, even growing up there, Arven now requires the help of Luca and the others to boy only save his dearest friend ( Mabosstiff, who I don't know if he would be a pokemon or something else), but also prevent whatever the fuck his mom created from destroying the world. He's pretty much key to stopping it, but can't do it alone.

Prof Sada - The one who created the super computer, along side her ex-husband, Turo. After Turo left and went off the grid, and the government sending agents to go after her work, Sada decided the best option was to digitalize herself, Arven and Mabosstiff into their own paradise, where they'll be safe forever (hm. Maybe the digital world should be called Paradise? Maybe a certain sector of it?). Of course, something goes wrong, and Sada is forced to hide herself within the depth of Area Zero,both for her safety and Arven's. She's out there.... somewhere.

Kieran - After some time has passed ( with Arven being brought to the land of the living), Kieran and his older sister are new transfer students at the school the Crater Crew ( oh that's a way better name that Area Zero Warriors lmao). A very shy kid, who has a very hard time standing up to himself, especially towards his older sisters antics. At some point, he becomes close friends with Luca, and with that, begins to notice more and more when Luca runs off somewhere. He tries to ask Luca about it, but he always brushes it off, or simply lie to Kieran's face. Does he not trust him? Is he already hired with him? Whatever it is, Kieran can't help but feel..... frustrated.

Carmine - The older sister of Kieran and at first, doesn't want him to be associated with Luca's little group. She heard rumors about them, and thinks it's best for her and Kiki to stay away from the lot. But of course, Kieran befriends Luca despite her telling him not to - and well. She guess it's nice that he has a friend. And Luca is kinda nice. Still, she doesn't fully trust them, not when she keeps noticing Luca and his friends keep sneaking off. And why does she keep having these weird dreams? Whatever it is,it's related to Luca's group, and if they're involved, Kiki could end up in more danger than it's worth. So maybe she might do some snooping.....

Again this is a very rough draft of this au. There's soooo many elements that are missing here - the bb league, team star, etc etc. I don't even know if pokemon exist, and if not, how to incorporate the paradox pokemon into this au ( again. Realizing the gang could be called the Paradox Warriors or something). Also like. Very obviously, this is inspired by Code Lyoko, but not exactly a Code Lyoko au. Too many variables that wouldn't make it work completely imo. But yeah! That's my silly little au idea. Some things might change, depending on how much I'll invest in this thing.

[guppybubbles]

FAKE FIC TITLE!!!!!!!!

Roll me a 6 🎲

Roll me a 6 (Discontinued Draft)

SBI plays homebrew DND and borrower Tommy sucks at being a giant.

Word Count: 1594 words

CONTENT WARNING: zombies, thats it im p sure

(A/N: i wrote this a really long time ago. i think the moment this ask was sent, this is the one i wrote first until i went to write the other fake fic titles. i lost motivation and inspiration to finish it and i dont have enough knowledge about dnd mechanics and doodads so !!! have this instead, since i dont want it collecting dusts in my drafts :DD )

"Tommy, slow down!" 

"I caaan't! Look at me, I'm a big man! THE Big Man!" 

Fortunately for the twins, Tommy did stop running, proudly puffing his chest with his arms crossed. Wilbur gladly took shelter from the sun behind his younger brother's massive shadow, sweating profusely— though he doesn't know whether that was from the sun or from the fact that he struggled to catch up to Tommy. Maybe both.

The Phantom glanced over to his Piglin twin, who could be less bothered. More resistant to the sun’s deadly rays, Techno barely broke a sweat, preferring a slow stride and taking his time to carefully scout out their surroundings. If anything, he was supposed to be in the front of them rather than the back. He held the map, and he was more knowledgeable in adventuring for treasure. Wilbur was 100% sure Tommy didn’t know what he was doing.

“Tommy, slow down, you know Wilbur loses hunger faster if he’s always invisible. I think he has a worst appetite than you.” 

“WHAT? That’s not true!”

Tommy looked behind him, finally noticing that Wilbur took shelter in his shadow, away from the sun that reminded him of a vampire. Oh. Right. He was a phantom. If he can remember correctly, they were fine in the sun if they remained invisible, but being invisible for a long time makes Wilbur get even hungrier and Techno mentioned they have to save their limited supply of food. They agreed to keep moving and waste less daylight by having Wilbur shield himself through Tommy, but he guessed he was too excited for his first adventure and ran way too much for the phantom’s liking. “Right. Sorry, Wil.”

“Whatever, child, it’s fine.” Wilbur waved a hand, “It’s almost sunset anyway, we need some rest. Tech, where can we set up camp?"

"Uhhhh." Techno shuffled through his inventory for the map, and his eyes scanned for the perfect place for a camp. "We won't encounter a village for a long while, but there is…" He trailed off for a bit, moving closer to Wilbur so he'll be able to see where they're heading.

"There's a big clearing in the forest we're heading to, we can take night shifts to protect each other from mobs so we can all get some good sleep." Techno pointed to a forest labeled ‘Everglades Forest’, there was a noticeable empty patch of green surrounded by trees not far from where they stood. They could make it there before the sun fully sets and camp up for the night.

“Got it, lead the way. And Tommy, walk slower please, I don’t think I can take another run for today.” Wilbur pleads, gently patting Tommy’s knee when he crouched down to take a look at the map as well. “Not my fault you are so incredibly slow.” 

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

The clearing was beautiful. After making a campfire, the brothers sat in a circle and drifted from conversation to conversation. Their topics shifted from food, to the past adventures Wilbur and Techno had together, and currently, to the first ever adventure the twins had. 

“No, it wasn’t the village raid one, was it? I remember our first adventure had to be the one with the tomb!”

“Nahh, It was the village. Remember when the village was asking for Phil’s help but he sent us because he thought we were old enough to do it?”

Wilbur and Techno went back and forth about what their first one actually was that even Tommy isn’t sure which side he should believe in. Oh, they were growing so old and forgetful… But it doesn’t matter because Big Man Tommy is here to be the best one out of the three of them! “Just tell me one already.” He whined, hands pulling out incredibly small blades of grass to fidget with. 

“Okay, Okay. We’ll just tell you about the tomb one, I think that was pretty cool. Cooler than the village raid.” Wilbur looked at Techno for their opinion.

“Yeah, ‘cause villagers getting their houses raided is pretty boring.” Techno sarcastically replied, but silently gestured for Wilbur to continue anyway.

The phantom only rolled his eyes in response, but begun his story about their supposed first adventure. “Alright, Phil told us about this mission that no one was taking because it was really dangerous or whatever, so me and Techno decided to sneak out at night to travel to this abandoned tomb and restore this uhh— this stolen artifact that was taken by bandits.”

“The artifact was something like.. The Totem of Undying, I think? It’s been rumored to give people an infinite amount of lives.” Wilbur waved his hands around as he told the story, and Tommy felt himself getting entranced by it. “Infinite? Have people tried stealing it before? How good were those bandits?”

“Well, some would say they were—” “Shh.” Techno cut him off, and Wilbur looked at his twin. When Wil gave him a questioning look, Techno whispered, “Can’t you guys hear it?”

Tommy looked around the clearing, trying to hear anything else besides the crackling of their fire and the rustling of the trees. No one dared to make a sound. There was a grumbling noise to their left, and in unison, their heads turned to the same direction. “Why does it sound like a zombie..?” Tommy asked.

“I forgot to mention… This forest is infested with zombies.” Techno nonchalantly said, taking his axe from his inventory. “Oh, and you just forgot to mention?” Tommy exclaimed, relaxed posture suddenly moving to stand up. A large group of zombies emerged from the darkness, their rotting skin and visible flesh and bones were a disgusting sight to see. The giant swore the air started to smell of decomposing flesh, twisting his stomach to the point where he could almost taste what he recently just ate.

“To be fair,” Techno started, running up to the zombies first. His moves were powerful, cold and calculating. Wilbur has mentioned before just how heavy the Axe of Peace was when he tried lifting it, yet now as Tommy watches Techno, it was a fast flurry of strikes— like the axe weighed absolutely nothing at all. “The map said this clearing was almost always safe.”

An arrow shot from below, and hit a zombie in the eye. ‘That had to be Wilbur’ Tommy thought as another shot fired through, this time with the strong smell of a poison-induced arrow. "Emphasis on the almost!" A disembodied, familiar voice yelled.

He wanted to help too. Tommy could just stomp them all out, but he had to look out for Tech and Wilbur. Techno, who was in the middle of the horde and Wilbur, who was invisible somewhere within the clearing. Tommy stood up, and tripped.

He tripped on zombie guts.

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

“I’m sorry, WHAT?!” Tommy yelled.

They all let out a laugh. Phil pointed to the dice, “Sorry, mate. You rolled a one.”

“Is that not a good thing? It means I’m number one!” Tommy patted the Twenty-sided dice.

“That is literally the worst number you can get.” Techno laughed, a small fond smile on his face. 

They were playing a tabletop roleplaying game, with their own rules and their own made up characters and species. It was Tommy’s first time playing with them, so everyone was less strict on the rules and more so trying to let Tommy enjoy their family game.

After watching a few of their sessions within the walls of their home, Tommy didn’t understand their game, but he felt immersed seeing Phil make up a completely imaginary world, and seeing the twins follow and make it even more fun with their decisions. Maybe he got too immersed.

He wasn’t a giant. He was a borrower. 

Tommy moved into the house many months ago, and it was a rare occasion to watch the family play their fun story game. Phil was always busy with his job, and Techno and Wilbur with college, but whenever they had enough free time to spend with one another, this is one of things they would spend hours doing. There would be a couple of their friends to join in from time to time, but it would mostly be just the three of them.

“It’s not my fault the dice is super big, it’s hard to throw!” Tommy picked up the dice and held it close to him as evidence. “Oh my god, look at you holding the dice! You are so teeny!” Wilbur cooed teasingly, gently poking Tommy's side, to which the borrower responded with a smack. “Stop it! Phiilll.” He whined, dropping the dice and attempting to wrestle with Wilbur’s finger.

Phil chuckled, “Wil.” He spoke in a warning tone. Wilbur continued to coo at Tommy for awhile before stopping after ruffling his hair. Techno picked up the dice and rolled it around in his hand, “Well, if you want, we could roll the dice for you instead?” 

Tommy immediately agreed, finding Techno’s good luck with his dice throws enough to accept the offer in an instant. “Yeah, do that!”

“Why not let me roll the dice? I have great luck too.” Wilbur also offered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, like you don’t roll six every single time in a game session before.” Tommy argued. The other two chimed in and agreed.

“Come on! My luck isn’t THAT bad.” Then Phil ushered them to calm down to continue their game, changing the subject so the adventure could continue without Wilbur and Tommy jumping into an argument.

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

( A/N: i had more ideas i wanted to write down but this is all my brain could whirr out, ty for reading until the end tihi :> )

[astolfofo]

Dazai and chuuya relationship analysis that I apprently wrote in march and was rotting in my drafts ig. Enjoy this i guess. Or not if you don’t like hot takes. I don’t want my blog to get too too dead. 

friendly reminder that this is my own opinion about things, and you’re welcome to disagree, but don’t be an asshole. please. 

Okay. Here’s a (un)commonly written hot take. In my opinion, I don’t ship Chuuya and Dazai. Like honestly. I don’t think they’re in love with each other, and they actually do strongly dislike each other. Not enough to call it hate, but they don’t like each other. But they do have a different realtionship of hate that you could almost call, “friendship”. They’ve worked together, probably lived together, and obviously theres a fundamental respect for each other. But to call it love would be extreme. 

Like, I’m being completely honest with you, if someone emotionally manipulated me to leave my friends, join the mafia, and I was forced to work with them for serveral years where they’d only be an annoying ass shit to me every day and use my skill every damn time to get something done? Man, I’d be fucking pissed. I’d hate them so much too. Also, to set a bomb under my car when they resign? Man. I wouldn’t even succumb to stalkholm syndrome from someone like that. Anyways I digress. Dazai and Chuuya don’t love each other, in my opinion, however, they still hold a weird friendship hateship thing for each other. 

SO. Edit after reading stormbringer because this was sitting in my drafts since march. No, I still don’t think that Chuuya and Dazai love each other, but their realtionship is fucking complicated. It’s not love, but on the surface level it seems that way. and I think that’s where a lot of BSD viewers kinda fall short, because... BSD is not a black and white thing. It goes pretty deep if you want to dig. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t ship or you should... you do whatever floats your boat. But the point I’m trying to make here, is that Dazai and Chuuya are basically like Asagiri (i think?) said, that they’re part of the same person. But they’re two very conflicting sides of the same person. It kinda goes to say almost, how you can fight and hate yourself, but without the other part of yourself you cannot live. Dazai and Chuuya are weak alone. Chuuya will die without Dazai, and Dazai cannot fight simply with his own ability. However when they work together, anything can be done. 

Yes, indeed, Chuuya and Dazai do hate each other. I will forever stand by that statement. However, Chuuya is only alive thanks to Dazai for saving his life, and Dazai only found the will to live because of Chuuya. Despite this, they hate each other in a way that’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain it because I guess this is a dazai chuuya analysis post now (wow tumblr 2016 animecore ig)

Dazai and Chuuya are a part of each other. Initally, when they first met, they hated each other. However, there’s a lot of trauma in both of them, invidually, but also traumatic things they’ve went through together for two barely adult people. They’re entangled, but they still repel each other no matter what. They dislike each other because of their highly conflicting personalities, different methods of thinking, different approaches to issues, and different levels of sympathy for people. 

No, it’s not an opposites attract case, you can tell how unwilling they are to see each other in that one episode. No amount of masking and acting will change that. But that’s why so many people enjoy the dynamic. Because it’s perfectly made so that it looks like your classic enemies to situationship to lovers where one bullies the other, but it’s really not like that. But it’s only because they hate each other that so many people like it. They’ll fight and “hate” each other, but they’ll also come to each other’s aid when it’s expected.

That’s what makes Dazai and Chuuya so special. They have a really strong bond together, born out of basically, mutral suffering in a sense and a strong dislike for each other. But they’ve become basically, two pieces of one body. One that needs the other, but will continually fight the other. Not because they’re falling in love with each other, no. But because they’re pieces that aren’t destined to fit perfectly together, nor will they ever, similar to an invidual that fights and hates himself all the time, but is whole. Without one side or the other, they will cease to exist. 

[agirlandherquill]

the calendar project - day 3

you can undoubtedly guess what genius clicked save as draft rather than post as i thought i had - so this one's being posted a day late, but it is all yesterday's work so it sticks to the project rules (thankfully)

daily page count: 2

time spent: 45 minutes

I haven’t got the faintest clue who I’m looking for, which means I’ll have to spend longer here than I’d like. 

Longer perhaps, than he would have cared to spend away from the only person that tempted him to tolerate this place.

The summons had seemed important, and to undergo his business he needed a clear head - which meant ridding himself of his encroaching headache and heading for the table stacked with glasses. 

His calloused hands adjusted the collar of his coat, letting the material rest comfortably on his skin. The familiarity of it and the weight of his sword at his hip reassured him that though the danger that lurked within the castle walls was tucked away from sight, he was protected from it - he would protect himself with his sword. The very weapon not one of the guards had batted an eyelid at, he had hardly attempted to conceal it, but none of them cared enough to notice. Makes you wonder what would happen if a real threat showed up. 

His first sip of the finest beverage Cinderian royalty had to offer was his last, he crammed his sleeve against his mouth, coughing wretchedly. 

“For the start of the social season you’d think they would serve something actually worth drinking.”

A voice, full of humour, weighed down by heavy accents of power, invaded his ears. The voice had a way with words, each perfectly pronounced. This was a voice of someone important. It made his spine stiffen.

It had come from behind him, if he played things carefully he could pretend not to hear, he could leave, but with the beverage table being as empty as he had found it, the remark could only be addressed to him - could only be heard by him. Swallowing back a further cough, he responded, “I’ve had worse.”

He hoped it would satisfy the speaker and they would leave, but when a shadow fell upon the table beside him, he knew he had not been so fortunate. The speaker had joined him. With a displeased flare of his nostrils he turned to them - the man reminded him of a soldier, tall, his jaw sharp, his hair firmly styled close to his head - only as neat as the barest minimum of effort would allow - his smouldering stare held the power to silence the greatest of men, that was a gift very few men possessed.

Save for a King.

Expectation demanded it but his spine would not permit him to bow, thankfully, the King seemed as though he couldn’t care less, instead lifting a glass. “I trust you and I have similar tastes.”

“I don’t know what you mean, sire.” He added the respectful term as an afterthought. The King swirled the glass, watching the liquid catch the light, “Drinks, people… Business.”

The glass in his hand threatened to crack with the force at which he set it on the table, prompting a chuckle from the King. “Come now, you didn’t really think someone else would have the knowledge or the need to hire you, did you?” He set his own glass aside, giving him a meaningful look. “I’ve been eager to talk business, shall we?”

“Business is why I’m here.”

The King’s smile was not a nice one. “I had a feeling we would get along… Reid.”

He knows my name. His heart beat a little faster in his chest. He should not know my name - not by this connection. Somehow, he knows me. Not even my clients know me, they are never told my name. Keeping his personal and business life separate was one of the things he prided himself on - such a fact or desire did not appear apparant to the King. Or he simply didn’t care.

He was very glad to have his sword with him at that moment. Whatever I’m walking into I don’t know which is more dangerous - the business deal, or the man proposing it.

Reid had made many deals in his life, but never had he dealt with a King.