#could not listen to anything else

[phier]

You are not a ghost haunting yourself

[chloesimaginationthings]

Is Michael Afton gay or European in FNAF?…

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The musical episode.

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[kettle-bird]

I've been getting into X-Men lately! Or, well. One specific X-Man.

[magpie-trove]

A ship is good if you can look at them and see them as an old married couple

[yuwuta]

half of these tiktok relationship/break up/whatever pranks would not work on most of the jjk boys, but nanami is esp funny because he just becomes immune to it. you tell him you two should break up and he just sighs and nods, continues making dinner even as you flutter around him and try to start a fake argument. “kento, hello? i’m saying we’re finished!” and he just hums, and chops the vegetables, “that’s nice, dear. did you want red or yellow peppers this time?” 

[mythalism]

hmmm. thinking about how veilguard seems to subscribe more to the more traditional "video game as personal power fulfillment fantasy of heroism" than any other dragon age game, except perhaps origins, though origins does it more artfully.

[badexe]

re: everyone is sucking and fucking but the gay men, i think everyone who is upset that burt and irving did not kiss in the most recent episode are severely missing the point.

yeah, you could make an argument that it could point to a internal aversion to depicting men kissing on the writers part, but burt and irving’s story is and always has been so rich. this isn’t like the 2000/10s style of queerbaiting we’ve been subjected to for the longest time. they were first to develop an explicit relationship on screen,they describe their feelings as romantic, they want to kiss but they can’t, they can’t. turturro and walken play them with the primary motivation being their insatiable attraction towards one another. burt’s absence ripped irving apart. i’d draw one every day i couldn’t see him. a kiss really shouldn’t be the metric for adequate representation.

each and every relationship on this show is complex and rife with tension. it’s not like they’re all getting a happy ending. we don’t know how or if the mark/gemma/helly/helena quadrilateral is going to resolve. gretchen falls for dylan’s innie and dylan threatens to end it because his wife can’t love him for who he is today - how you used to be. just because they’ve kissed or had sex doesn’t make their relationships simpler, fuller, more meaningful or successful. the narrative explores everything that could go wrong when you try to separate yourself. how do you contend with yourself. who are you. who has the right to you, your body, to love you. autonomy, consent, love, fate, the self.

i doubt this is the last we’ll see of burt and irving. while there’s one episode left in the season, the show is far from over. i’m in the camp of believing the only way forward is through reintegration, that to advance the story towards any resolution within the characters they need to see it, remember it, feel it all. and when that happens, what will burt and irving do? when they finally feel it? i want to feel it.

burving is tragic and star-crossed, but they’re also the ones in the happiest position right now. it hurts to say goodbye. to not know. but i know that i loved you. i think i love you now. it’s too dangerous for us. but with the final choice i have, i can save you.

what matters is that the love was there.

[dollypopup]

I can't stop thinking about Colin on his travels. Colin, alone, on a journey to 17 different cities, across several countries. Colin on his own.

Colin who writes letter after letter, to his family, to his friends, and barely gets a response back. How long before he understands that they didn't get lost in the mail? How long until he realizes that, just like when he was a boy, no one has the time for him? The space for him? How many letters unanswered before he lets it finally take root and fester in his mind?

He could have died on that tour.

Would they even notice? Would they see when the letters slow until they cease? Would they wonder why? His mum, surely (maybe, possibly, but she has enough on her hands, besides, and he's never been a concern, in need of her assistance, before), but anyone else? Anthony on his honeymoon, Eloise a stormcloud personified, Benedict taking on the familial responsibilities, Fran preparing for the marriage mart and in Bath, regardless. Daphne, his closest sister, a mum running her own estate.

Greg and Hyacinth who enjoy his stories, but are children.

Pen who ignores him. No explanation, no goodbye.

Colin who has no one in his corner. Colin who travels city to city, putting on personas. Will they like me? What about now? Colin who has hardly anything to read from the people he loves. Who do not think of him.

And yet he thinks of them. Brings them back gifts, writes his recollections for them until it hits him that, oh, they don't care. They don't care what he's doing, how he's doing. They didn't want to hear it before, when he was there with them, and they do not want to hear it now, either. Did they even open those envelopes? Did they see them come through the post, just as proof he's alive, and shrug off the contents? Did they look? Once, Colin sends an empty page. No one notices. Easier, then, to send just the outsides. People only ever care about the outsides. Pretty and prim in neat packages, uncaring of what lies beneath. Sea sick on the rocking boats, staring up at stars on the continent, Colin grows aware, but not bitter. Sad, but resigned.

He loves his family, he loves Pen, loves them to grace, loves them to it's okay. It was him, he determines. Too chatty, his letters too long, uninteresting, his passions dull or droll, or else, worse, he's displeased them in some way. Colin who takes refuge in stranger's arms and homes, who dreams and tries to sate his curiosity. Colin who pretends, because anyone, anyone but him would be received better, he's sure of it. Colin who must talk too much, surely, and with no one to listen. Colin who learns to hush.

Yes. Remarkable- as in, I have many remarks about it.

How many times did he go to excitedly write of what he did that week, and stopped himself, knowing it was a waste? How many times did he write and throw into the fire a letter asking Why don't you see me? Why don't you care?

If he didn't make it, how long would it take for anyone to notice? A month? Two? A year? Would they wave it off as his frivolity, denounce him as a flake and fume about the funds? Would they wonder where it was he had lost himself off at?

He cannot fall into that, so, he writes in his journal, instead. Of the ache of it, of how he longs for connection, for understanding, for someone to take him seriously. He keeps it with him, this log of his discontent, of his folly and felicity, of his pitfalls and pains.

If he didn't make it, would they realize all that's left of him is what he sent them, not even a body to bury? Did he look over the side of a bow of a boat and look at the churn of the ocean and think of how many bones it held? Did he tip his face to the sun? How many new scars did he earn? Who did he befriend?

Who did he become?

Somewhere along the line, Colin learned. He learned the real him wasn't wanted.

Somewhere along the line, somewhere between Patmos and Paris, Colin left Colin behind.

And, somewhere along the line, Colin laid face to face with loneliness in his bed, and it wrapped its arms around him.

[hajihiko]

I just think horror that happens in or near water is a whole different flavour. Make it creepy and wet

[vigilskept]

You know, as much as I'm willing to denounce Loghain for not trusting the Orlesian Wardens to do their job and fight the Blight, I am also aware that Celene had sent a bunch of chevaliers to accompany the Wardens across the border, and there is no proof they were going to leave once they had entered Ferelden. Like sure, let's blame Loghain for making the Wardens's job harder than necessary, but I do think Fereldans kind of dodged being conquered all over again, never mind Cailan's secret dealings with Celene. 😥

exactly………………. 10 YEARS down the line after the blight we know the orlesian nobility were still itching to take ferelden back!!! that’s not paranoia!!!

sure, the wardens weren’t necessarily on board with that agenda the way loghain thought they were. but that’s really only down to chance? another warden in duncan’s place might not have been so opposed to seeing orlais move back in! caron/andras/kader is framed as a favourite of empress celene… could they have been trusted not to scheme if they were in charge? if they were given great authority at a time of crisis?

keeping orlais out and checking the warden’s power makes the blight a lot harder to cope with… but doing otherwise risks losing ferelden’s independence again. and given how no one but the wardens knows for sure that it is truly a blight (no archdemon sightings…) he does have every reason to be skeptical of anyone arguing otherwise!

[dykedvonte]

One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.

I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.

The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.

Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.

I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.

[rookamell]

Been seeing a lot of discussion on the Varric Problem again so here is my Neve/Lace discussion about it after they meet with the First Warden

“Neve,” Lace said, walking into the detective’s room. “I need to talk to you. About Rook.”

She’d wanted to go talk to Rook about Antoine and Evka, to give her an alternative to the First Warden, like Dorian had suggested.

After filling Bellara in on the day’s events with Neve, she’d gone up to Rook’s room, to check if she was there, but it had been empty. So, she’d gone to the infirmary for some elfroot for her head, and found Rook there, talking aloud to the bed where they’d had Varric, where Bianca still lay, untouched.

Lace hadn’t heard what she was saying, and she’d simply assumed Rook was talking out loud to herself, using the crossbow as a sounding board. It was common enough. The amount of times Lace had talked herself through something out loud to one of her Embrium plants was, frankly, embarrassing.

But something had felt… off. And Rook had the same faraway look on her face she’d had during his funeral.

“Well,” Neve said, absently swatting at a wisp where it was hovering around her head. “That’s a coincidence.”

“Something feels… wrong,” she said, sitting down on what she supposed was Neve’s excuse for a cot. The mage stood up and walked around the table, leaning back against it and crossing her dwarven-made leg over the other, the picture of sophisticated grace.

“Did something happen?”

“I wanted to go talk to her about my Warden contacts,” Lace said. “Antoine and Evka, out in Hossberg. She wasn’t in her room, so I thought I’d go get some elfroot- “

She kept talking, stopping Neve from enquiring about her headaches. They were manageable, and getting better.

“- And she was… talking to Bianca. Varric’s crossbow.”

Neve frowned, her mouth pressing into a line.

“She could have just been talking out loud to herself,” Neve said. “I’m not ashamed to say I’ve had some very heated disagreements with my corkboard- “

“That’s what I thought too,” Lace said. “But then, I started thinking about it. She’s been… strange, ever since Varric died. And that dizzy spell she had today? In Dock Town?”

Neve hesitated.

It had been a long day. Venatori, darkspawn, the Shadows. Lace knew some of what had happened between Rook and Dorian, enough to know it was a sore spot. It had been an even longer day for Rook and Neve, but Rook had had worse. Lace knew Rook had had worse.

“Have you noticed anything else?” she finally asked. “The timing? What exactly happens?”

Lace frowned. She thought back, to Varric’s funeral, the vacant look in Rook’s eyes. When she’d tried to talk to her afterwards. Rook had forgotten to report it to Leliana, too, which was…

“It’s always about Varric,” she said slowly. “Even today, it happened after I told her I’d contacted the First Warden. She must have been thinking about… “

Neve nodded when Lace looked at her.

“I’ve had suspicions,” she said. “Mostly confirmed today when we were out in Minrathous.”

She paused again, looking as though she was weighing how much to say.

“I think it’s Solas.”

Lace blinked. Solas?

“But Rook said he couldn’t hurt her,” Lace said. “Their connection was only enough for him to talk to her. Sometimes.”

“Solas is an ancient elven trickster god,” Neve said. “I don’t think we should necessarily take him at his word.”

“I trust Rook, though,” Lace said.

“And if she doesn’t know?”

“So, what?” Lace stood up, agitated. “You think he’s manipulating her into thinking…?”

“Forgetting about Varric?” Neve said, also starting to pace. “Not caring about Varric? I don’t know, Lace, and there’s no way to find out.”

“So, what do we do?” Lace asked. Maker, she was in over her head here. Before any of this, the closest she’d ever come to magic was watching other people do it.

Neve stopped pacing, then stared out of the window for a long time. Wisps swarmed around her head, but she was so deep in thought she seemed not to see them, even.

“I don’t think we can do anything,” Neve said quietly.

“What?” Lace gaped at her. “Neve! He’s using blood magic on her! We can’t just- “

“I don’t know what else to do, Lace,” Neve said. “The only way I can see to stop him from doing anything is to kill him, which we can’t do. Partly because he’s trapped in the Fade, and partly because Rook’s right. We need him.”

She turned back to Lace, who was still reeling.

“Has she been acting differently?” Neve asked. “Besides Varric, I mean. You knew her the longest.”

Lace pushed aside her indignance and thought about it. Had Rook been acting differently?

“No,” she said slowly. “No, she’s still Rook. Exactly the same, just… weird wherever Varric is concerned.”

Neve nodded, as if she’d been expecting that answer.

“But why would Solas do that, Neve?” Lace asked. “What’s the point?”

“To keep her focused?” Neve shrugged. “To keep her from thinking about anything other than the gods? He wants us to end them as much as we do, doesn’t he?”

“I suppose… “

“Look,” Neve said. “I think Rook is the best person for the job Varric wanted her to do, Solas in her head or no, and I’ve only known her for a few days. I’m sure the others will agree. And maybe it’s not such a bad thing, not having to think about…”

She trailed off, and Lace felt the now-familiar sting of loss.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad if Rook didn’t have to feel that.

“What about the others?” Lace asked. “Bellara, Lucanis?”

“They’ve both lost people,” Neve said, not unkindly. “I’m sure if we mention she’s taking it hard, they’ll be careful about it.”

“We should keep an eye on her, though,” Lace said. “If she changes, or- “

“I don’t think Solas has enough of a connection to do more than he’s doing,” Neve said thoughtfully. ���Personally, I try to stay away from blood magic, but from what I know, the fact that he’s able to do even that much is incredible.”

“Right,” Lace said flatly. “He’s super good at blood magic.”

Neve grinned slightly.

“What?” she asked slyly. “Don’t tell me you don’t appreciate the grift.”

[b0amagination]

Did somebody say Custody AU?

I did. I said Custody AU.

Surely this has nothing to do with the car whump excitement of this past week.

This is a universe where Nat breaks down and agrees to spy for Eric. They're required to report back to him about what's going on at work and what the police are planning. In a move of typical bastardice, perhaps Eric picks them up one day unexpectedly and forces them to drive to his lair in his fancy ass car.

They look fine with this, as well as the way that bruise on their shoulder is being pressed into :)

Of course, Custody is written by Kirsten @whumblr !

[snailfen]

being a kaai yuki fan is awful. i want endearing edutainment-styled songs about cat behaviors that sound like a kid with a cat obsession writing a song about them not this lolicon-styled trendbait SLOP 😭

[softredrobin]

a decades-later redux, or "if i had a nickel for every half-alien-government-experiment that had a breakdown about their chaos energy possibly hurting their older sibling, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice"