#crying buckets of tears for a fictional character

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒏

🕊️a whore's fairytale masterlist🕊️

summary - when snow white (you) escapes into the woods to escape the queen's order to kill, she learns that not all strangers should be trusted.

warning - smut, swearing, choking, under a spell, dubcon, creampie, slight angst, death, breaking and entering, jealousy, oral sex, kidnapping/entrapment, attempted poisoning and murder, group sex, groping, dark content.

18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

The Queen sneers, staring at herself in the mirror. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall.” Her eyes squint, and her back straightens. “Who is the fairest of them all?” The answer she was expecting wasn’t what the mirror gave her. 

“Y/n is the fairest of them all.” The Magic Mirror spoke, a live video of you playing before her, your sweet self hums to the animals, pulling a small bucket from the well, capturing the attention of the many people that pass by. 

“What?!” She screams, and her face becomes red with anger. “No one is more fair than I! The Queen must have the best of everything. Everyone knows that. What could be more fair?” 

“Y/n is the fairest of them all!” The Mirror repeats, not caring for the tantrum the Queen is throwing. 

“What do you know? You’re a mirror!” She huffs, rolling her eyes and storming off. A plan sets in motion as she heads to where the huntsman rests, ordering him to take you out of the equation. 

You had spent your time running through the woods, away from your horrid stepmother and the huntsman that she had sent after you. Your hands clutched your skirt, lifting it from the ground, and your bare feet dodged the many sticks and rocks. Your breath is heavy, and you can hear his footsteps catching up to you. “Little Snow! You can’t run from me! The Queen ordered me to kill you!” You gasp, picking up your pace, desperately trying to distance yourself from him. 

You squeal and cry as your foot gets caught on a root sticking out of the ground. You fall forward, tumbling for a few seconds until you end up on your back. Fat tears cover your cheeks, your eyes are puffy, your hair is ruffled, and your once-beautiful dress is ruined, ripped and dirty. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears as the huntsman appears in your vision, “P–please! You don’t have to do this! I–I won’t tell anyone if you let me go! Please!” You cry you beg, you plead. Your hands curl into the ground, crushing the dirt into your palms. You don’t notice the magic flowing through you and into the ground. You are so caught up in begging the man not to take your life. 

He shakes his head. “I have to. I was given an order.” His head continues to shake, clutching the knife as he desperately doesn’t want to kill you. “If I return and the Queen finds out I didn’t obey, she’ll kill me.” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling the tears slip past, and your lips tremble. You nod, accepting your fate. You wouldn’t be able to escape this. “O–okay. If taking my life means you get to keep yours, okay.” You breathe in and out, a soft sob passing your lips. Your brows furrow as you are met with silence before a crunch and a groan follow it. You slowly peek your eyes open, wondering what caused the noise, and a shocked sob escapes you when you notice a giant black wolf on top of the huntsman. Yellow eyes stare back at you, and you feel oddly calm before standing on shaky legs. It’s as though the animal is giving you enough time to escape. “T–thank you.” You take off running again, the sky becoming dark as night falls, heading in the opposite direction of the castle. 

You happen to stumble across a wooden cabin tucked away in the middle of nowhere. You rush forward, rapidly knocking on the door. “S–someone! Is anybody there?! I need help, please!” The door is pushed open from your knocks, and you cautiously enter as you receive no reply, looking around. “Hello?” When you don’t get a response, you decide to take a closer look. “Such a dirty place…” You think out loud, “Maybe if I clean up a bit, whoever lives here may help me.” You nod to yourself and walk over to a broom that rests against the wall and grab hold of it. You get swept away cleaning and then cooking before you slowly make your way upstairs, noticing seven large beds, making you wonder who lives here. 

“I hope they won’t mind if I…” You ponder, going over to a bed that reads ‘CRANKY’ and sitting for what was supposed to be a second. The moment your body hits the mattress, your eyes flutter closed, and a deep slumber hits you with full force. 

You wake to someone or something poking you. Your eyes flutter open, blinking as you notice many different men surrounding you. You gasp, scooting to the headboard, pulling your knees to your chest. “Oh, please don’t kill me! I–I promise I didn’t do anything wrong!” Your bottom lip wobbles and your gaze shoots between theirs frantically, wondering if the Queen also sent them. 

A man with blue eyes and his hair in a man bun scoffs. He crosses his arms over his chest, and your eyes land on one of them being shiny. “Who are you? And what are you doing in my bed?” A growl practically escapes his lips, and his eyes scan your body with a lick of his lips. 

You gasp, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! I–” You're cut off as you try to get out, but a larger man stops you. His light blue eyes and blonde hair cause your breath to catch in your throat. 

He shakes his head with a soft smile. “Don’t listen to him, ma’am. We are just startled, is all.” He turns his head, glaring at his best friend before looking back down at you. “Now, why don’t you introduce your pretty self and explain why you think we would kill you?” He sits at the end of the bed, resting a comforting hand on your leg. 

“Oh, I do apologise. Where are my manners? My name is Y/n, but I am more known as Snow White.” The men are shocked, wondering what the princess is doing in their cabin. “The Queen is trying to have me killed, and I don’t know why. S–she sent the huntsman out, and he chased me through the woods until I was able to escape, and that is how I stumbled across your home.” 

A throat clears, and you turn your head to look at another man who’s built like a bear, with pretty blue eyes and blackish hair. “She wouldn’t be trying to kill you for no reason. Tell us what you really did. You can’t really be that innocent.” 

“I–I swear–” The man touching your leg interrupts you, giving you a soft look.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself. I can see that you are innocent. I mean.” He looks around at the men with his brows raised. “What innocent person would break into someone’s home and decide to clean and cook? The breaking in part obviously doesn’t sound great, but look at her. She needs help.”

The man with the blackish hair speaks again while nodding. “You’re right. I apologise. We’ve been rude and haven’t introduced ourselves. My name is Clark, but these bastards call me Bossy.”

The man touching your leg smiles. “And I’m Steve, better known as Brawny.” He points to the man with a permanent scowl on his face. “That’s Bucky. We call him Cranky, though.” Bucky rolls his eyes, wondering why the hell they haven’t moved you from his bed yet. Though, he has been having a great time imagining you tied to it while he pleasures you.

Another man with a flirty smile leans against the bed, coming close to your face. “I’m Johnny, yet these guys call me Sleazy. No idea why. I would’ve said Flirty.” Johnny wiggles his brows, loving the shy look that crosses your face.

A man with a beanie and dirty face and hands nods. “I’m Curtis, known as Dirty around these wankers.”

Your eyes land on a man drinking what seems to be alcohol, and his eyes are half-lidded as he stares at you. “I’m Dean or Tipsy. Whatever you prefer, but I’m hoping to make you scream one of them later.” Your eyes widen.

Your attention is pulled away from Dean or Tipsy to a darker man touching your arm, looking at you with a smirk. “I’m Sam, baby. But you can call me Horny.” You blink, stunned, never having heard such words come out of a person’s mouth before, but you know that you cannot judge as you did break into their home.

“O–oh, it’s nice to meet you all. Such interesting names.” You fold your hands in your lap and look around at each one of the men. “I would like to cook you, men, some dinner as a thank you for not kicking me out.” You watch as they nod, and you give a soft smile to Steve, who helps you off the bed. You head down the stairs, and all seven men follow behind, watching your hips sway beneath the dress. They sit, watching as you start to heat the food. It’s magical to them. You turn around, the food nearly ready. “Please go and wash up before dinner.” 

“What? No.” Bucky growls, refusing to get up from the seat while the other men immediately stand and head out. Steve grabs hold of his best friend and drags him out, ignoring the shouts and yells. “Steve! Steve! Stop!” 

You shake your head, turning back toward the pot, stirring it before you turn off the stove and grab hold of it, bringing it to the table and setting it down. “Dinner!” You watch as the door swings open, and the men walk back in with smiles, smelling clean. “Don’t you men look dashing!” They thank you before taking a seat, watching you with wide eyes as you fill their bowls with the delicious-smelling stew. 

Clark tilts his head as you take the pot back to the sink, noticing that you didn’t make a bowl for yourself. “Are you not eating with us?” The other men stop with their spoons midair, looking between you and Clark. “Come, sit. You deserve to eat the food you cooked.” Clark pats his thigh, raising a brow when you don’t move. “I’m called Bossy for a reason. Now, sit.” You scurry over, taking a seat on his thigh, feeling a weird tingling sensation between your legs as you feel how thick his thighs are. “Good girl.” He nods to everyone, and you all begin to eat. Clark occasionally brings the spoon to your mouth, feeding the two of you. 

During the night, you get to know all of the men, laughing and listening to stories. Steve stands, clearing his throat. “I hate to interrupt this wonderful evening, but we have work tomorrow., and I think it is best if we get some rest” The others agree, and you get up to bid them goodnight, practically tucking them into their beds and placing soft kisses onto their foreheads. You are about to head back downstairs, needing to find somewhere to rest, but Steve stops you. “Y/n, here.” You spin, heading over to him with furrowed brows, wondering what he is talking about. He pulls back the blanket and pats the space next to him. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude more than I have.” You gnaw on your bottom lip, feeling like you’ve been a bother. “I can find somewhere else to sleep. I saw a blanket downstairs.” Steve gives you a look that makes you quickly crawl into the bed, and your body shivers when you realise how cold you’ve been compared to the warm man. Your body curls into his larger one, sighing as sleep takes over you before you can even register.

You wake to birds chirping and the sun shining through, your eyes flutter open, and you stretch your arms above your head. You slowly pull Steve’s arm off of you and get out of bed, making your way downstairs, and you decide to prepare breakfast for the kind men. You cook eggs, bacon, pancakes, and a fruit platter, wanting to give them a filling meal for their big day. You smile and turn as you hear the men bound down the stairs, dressed for work with hunger in their eyes. “Good morning! I thought I’d make you guys some breakfast before you go. I hope you don’t mind.” 

They smile, thanking you before sitting down. The same happens as the night before. Clark pulls you into his lap and feeds you some of his breakfast, ensuring you also get to eat. You stand once you finish, gathering the dishes and walking over to the sink, gently placing them down before walking to the door and handing the men their coats.

Clark is the first one to grab his coat, thanking you. “I hope you have a good day today.” You lean up, resting your hand on his muscular arm and kiss his cheek softly. Clark smirks, tipping his head before walking out the door.

Steve is next. Once his coat is on, he leans down for you to reach his cheek. “Thank you, Snow.” Steve turns his head and returns the favour, kissing your cheek and smiling as you become shy. 

Bucky huffs, “Can we hurry this up? We have work to do if you haven’t noticed.” But everyone ignores him, and he watches with envy as you continue to give each man a kiss.

Curtis gently takes his jacket from your tiny hands, closing his eyes as he feels your soft lips on his cheek. A smile on your face, “Have a good day, sweetheart.”

Johnny walks up next, smirking at you and already leaning down. You give him a soft smile and lean forward, but he turns his head last second, and you gasp. “I–I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” You freak, staring wide-eyed at the happy man. 

“Don’t worry bout it, Baby.” Johnny winks, giving your arse a smooth pinch before strolling out. You feel your body and cheeks heat up, eyes still wide as you watch him leave.

“Well damn. He did it before me.” Dean rolls his eyes, slapping your arse after you give him a kiss as well. “Doesn’t matter. Have a good day, Sugar.”

Sam pulls you close, tapping his cheek before resting his hands on your hips. He groans as you lean up and kiss his cheek softly. His hands move down and squeeze your cheeks, pulling you even closer. “Mmm, Snow. You make a man so feral.” 

Once Sam leaves, it leaves the last man, the crankiest of the lot. Bucky grumbles, going to reach for his coat, but you pull back slightly and give him a pout. He rolls his eyes, bending slightly, and when you gently kiss his cheek, his whole face grows pink. “Whatever.” Bucky clears his throat and quickly leaves, leaving you in their cabin all by your lonesome, not prepared for what is to happen next. 

You hum to yourself, beginning to clean the place. You don’t notice the magic swirling around you, calling the forest animals to the cabin, some even helping you clean. You wash the men’s clothes, and the birds hang them along the line. You are so lost in your own world that you don’t notice an older woman watching you from the shadows, a scowl on her face, but the older woman also doesn’t notice the large black wolf watching her. 

You giggle, leaning over to pet the cute little bunny that hops in your direction before you walk inside the house. Your hands become busy as you begin to prepare another apple pie, continuing to hum to yourself. “Excuse me.” You turn, hearing a knock at the open window and someone talking. You smile softly, walking closer to the older woman. “I–I’m so sorry for bothering you. I am just a poor old woman trying her best to sell some delicious apples.” 

You lean against the counter, peeking over the window sill and looking at the basket of apples. “That is perfect! I’m baking an apple pie and in need of some apples!” You give an innocent smile to the older woman.

She reaches her hand into the basket and grabs a big red apple that sits at the top. “Take a look at this big red apple.” She holds it up to your face, watching you stare at it in wonder at how perfect it looks. Your hands slowly reach up to touch it, but the woman jerks it back. “Lovely, isn’t it? But you cannot touch without a price.” 

You gnaw on your bottom lip, looking between the woman and the apple with furrowed brows. You desperately needed more apples to make the pie. It had to be perfect. “I need that apple… But I, uh, I don’t have any money.” 

She thinks, knowing that this apple contains something horrible. The Queen realised there was no point in a price when she would finally have you dead. That was good enough. “Oh, my dear. No need to worry for a first-time customer. I will let you have this apple for free.” You look at her, shocked, cupping the apple as she hands it to you. She watches you, desperately wanting you to take a bite out of it in front of her, but she doesn’t get her hopes up.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! How can I ever repay you? You are so kind. Please let me give you something!” You go over and grab a plate of freshly baked biscuits, heading back over to her. She tries to refuse, but you persist. “Oh please, It wouldn’t feel right if I were to take this for free. Please take as many as you want.”

“Okay, thank you. That is kind of you, my dear.” The older woman takes one, bidding you goodbye before disappearing into the shadows again, wanting to watch what unfolds. Her eyes widen as she watches you begin to cut the apple, mixing it into the mixture of the pie. She thought the call of the apple would cause you not to resist a taste. “Oh, no, no, no! This won’t end well. You stupid girl, you should’ve eaten the apple yourself.” She huffs, stomping her foot. “The poison only works for those it is intended for… If she serves it to others, it can have side effects, and I do not need that in my hands.” She growls to herself, knowing that she will have to put a stop to this or kill more people than intended. 

Before the Queen can return to the cabin, she is met with the giant black wolf. Its teeth bared as it growled. She scoffs, waving it off. “Be a good puppy and leave. You can’t destroy the Queen.” Her eyes widen as your hums begin again as you place the pie in the oven, and she realises that you are the one controlling the animals, even if you don’t know you are. In the moment of shock, the wolf lunges, and your sweet melodies drown out her screams.

You are happy with how the pie has turned out, placing it on the window sill to cool down. You wait patiently for the men to return home, sitting curled up in a chair with a book between your hands. You’ve made the house more into a home, having gone out and picked some pretty flowers to put in a vase, gathering some wood for the fireplace, and keeping the food warm for when they walk through the door, their clothes all folded neatly. You stand when you hear them, their voices carrying through the air. 

Clark opens the door with a smile, “Hello, Little Snow. I notice that you’ve been busy.” He moves past you, brushing his hand across your hip as he moves to the pot, smelling the delicious scent. 

The rest of the men enter, Steve, being the second after taking his shoes off and giving you a large grin. “Snow! Did you have a good day?” You nod, giggling as he brings you into a hug. He lets go of you and walks over to the pot also, not used to coming home to dinner already prepared.

“Sugar!” Johnny enters, pulling you into him immediately by gripping your arse in his large hands, causing a squeak to fall from your lips. “You look so good. I could just eat you up.” He grumbles when Dean and Sam push him to the side. “The hell?” 

“You're hogging her,” Dean grunts, pulling you against him, and your eyes widen when you feel him grope you so freely. “Hey, sweetheart. You’re so tiny.” He blinks down at you, and you get a whiff of the alcohol already on his breath. 

Sam grows annoyed, pushes Dean out of his way and pulls you against him also. “Don’t hog Snow here. I want some too.” His large hands grip your arse, rubbing his bulge against you, groaning softly. “How you doing, baby?” 

Curtis and Bucky stand near the entrance, watching everything unfold. You smile softly at Sam as you let go, walking over to the two men and ignoring the shocked gasp they let out as you pull them into a hug, greeting them with your kindness. “Come, sit. Dinner’s ready, and I’ve made a pie for dessert!” You skip over, waiting for them all to take their seats before you grab the pot and serve the food. Dinner goes well, and it’s finally time for them to taste your sweet pie. You walk over to the pie, carefully picking it up before bringing it to the table and serving them a slice each. “I hope you guys enjoy.” 

The moment the pie hits their tongues, the magic begins to flow through everything and everyone, eyes turning a bright pink for a split second before they let out soft groans from the flavour that explodes on their tastebuds. You don’t notice anything that has happened. You are too happy to see that they enjoyed your baking. 

The atmosphere in the room has changed. Every single man in the room felt their heartbeat quicken and their breathing become heavier. Their eyes are half-lidded, and their members harden, growing rapidly in their pants. It seems their gaze is set on you, eyes darkening as they look you up and down, slowly getting out of their chairs and surrounding you. 

“That was a great pie, Little Snow,” Clark growls, getting closer. “But I want to taste something a little bit sweeter.” You squeal as Steve and Bucky hold you, ensuring you can’t move as Clark kneels, lifting your dress and letting out a thick groan when he realises you haven’t been wearing anything underneath, your folds slick with your juices. “Aren’t you a dirty little girl? Wearing nothing while staying with a bunch of men.” You moan as he surges forward, licking from your hole to your swollen button. “Fuck, she tastes so much better than that pie.” Your walls clench when Clark moves close again, gripping your thighs as he nuzzles his face into your soaking cunt, licking and sucking. 

You whine as Steve grips your chin, turning you to face him and locking his lips with yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth. Bucky groans. The hand that isn’t gripping you moves to your plump breasts and squeezes and fondles them. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as Clark begins to suck on your swollen clit. You whimper into Steve’s mouth before gasping as a finger softly pokes against your entrance, breaching into it with a slow thrust. Your head falls back onto Steve and Bucky’’s shoulders, not noticing the other men rubbing their bulges through their pants, watching the scene before them with dark eyes. 

A choked whine escapes you when Clark curls his fingers while Bucky and Steve suck on your hardened nipples, swirling their tongues around. Your back arches, hands gripping their shirts as your vision becomes white and your juices flow out of your sopping cunt, covering Clark’s smirking face. “Fuck, Little Snow. You taste even more divine.” He curls his fingers in, happily watching how you twitch, your arousal still flowing out. “Men, clear the table. We are in need of a different kind of dessert.” He commands, standing to his full height and stepping aside. 

Steve and Bucky pull you toward the table, carefully setting you down and stepping back. All of the men stand and admire how beautifully blissed out you look. Johnny stumbles forward, his hardened member already hanging out of his pants, and you gasp as your gaze falls upon it. “T–that won’t fit…” You begin to shake your head as he slips between your spread legs, pulling you flush against him. 

Johnny smirks, tapping your cheek. “Dumb little sugar. I’ll make it fit. You’re so fucking wet. I’ll slide in so easily.” He reaches down and grips his throbbing base, tapping his leaking tip against your swollen clit before lining up against your entrance. Johnny groans when he pushes in, gasping at how tight you are around him. “Oh god! You feel so good, Sugar.” His hands grip your hips, slowly pulling out before thrusting into you harder. A grin forms on his face at how your eyes roll to the back of your head, letting out a sob as his tip hits your sweet spot.

You are suddenly lifted, and your eyes widen when you feel something poking your already stretched hole. Your head turns slightly, and you notice Sam giving you a cheeky smile, “Don’t worry, Snow. I’m just gonna join in on the fun.” You gasp when he slowly begins to push in, stretching you even more alongside Johnny. Sam’s head falls back, and he groans, “Holy fuck! You’re so fucking tight!” His grip tightens on your hips, and the thrusting begins between the two men. When one pushes in, the other pulls out, and your screams fill the cabin. Johnny pulls you into a deep kiss while Sam grips your hips and pounds hard into you. “Oh man, can you feel how tight she is?” 

Johnny nods, groaning. “Fuck yes! I don’t think I’m going to last long!” His pace picks up, slamming harder and faster into you before he buries his face into your neck as thick amounts of cum spurt out of his angry tip. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Johnny slips out of your stretched hole, sagging into a chair as Sam pulls you down, pounding into you from behind, thrusting Johnny’s cum deeper into you. Your mouth falls open, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as Sam slams into your sweet spot, causing your walls to clench around his thick member and your juices to squirt out of you.

“Good little princess,” Sam growls into your ear, slamming his cock harder into you before burying inside of you, releasing his cum deep into you. “Fuck.” Sam moves back, the magic draining out of him, and he sags next to Johnny, their eyes fluttering closed. 

You squeal when you feel someone grabbing the back of your head before you start gagging as Curtis shoves his thick member into your mouth, thrusting in and out. “Jesus.” His head falls back, and his eyes half-lidded. “You’re mouth is so warm.” His hands hold your head, and he pulls out slowly before thrusting in again. You moan around him, swirling your tongue around his swollen tip before starting to suck, loving the salty taste that lands on your tastebuds. 

Dean smirks, gripping his throbbing member and tapping his angry tip against your used folds. He lifts your hips before sliding in, groaning at how tight you feel wrapped around him. “Damn, sweetheart. How are you still so fucking tight? You were just stretched by two cocks.” He begins to set his pace, pounding into you, pushing you to choke on Curtis’s cock. “Go on, sweetheart. Choke on his cock.” He groans, fucking into you faster. His tip repeatedly hits your sweet spot, loving how you feel as you squeeze his cock. “Shit! I’m so fucking close!” 

While Dean is busy chasing his orgasm, Curtis holds your head down and thrusts into your throat. His head rolls back as you moan around his member. “Such a sweet mouth for a sweet woman.” Fat tears roll down your cheeks, gagging around him, and your eyes roll to the back of your head when Dean fills you, setting off your orgasm, causing your arousal to coat him, and the vibrations from your moans cause Curtis to groan and release deep into your mouth, gripping your chin until you swallow and show him. “Good girl.” 

You whine as both men pull out and watch through blurry eyes as they also sag into the chairs. Your head flops down onto the hardwood table, breathing heavily. “Do you think we are done with you, Doll?” Bucky steps up, a pink swirl in his eyes as he peers down at your used form. “There’s still three of us.” You gasp when he picks you up, wrapping your legs loosely around his hips while lining his tip with your entrance. Steve steps behind you, and his hand strokes his cock up and down. Your eyes roll back, and your head flops onto Steve’s shoulder as Bucky pushes in. A loud whine escapes you when Steve follows suit, slipping his giant cock through your tiny hole. 

Both men begin to take turns pounding in and out of you. Clark steps forward and grips your chin, turning your head to capture your lips with his. “Who knew Snow White was secretly a whore. You like being used by seven men, honey?” You moan, nodding and clutching onto whoever you can. Clark grips your throat softly, making your dazed eyes look at him. “Of course you do. Only a little whore like you would like being used. No wonder the Queen wanted to get rid of you.” He moves closer, smirking as Steve and Bucky pick up their pace, causing your mind to go fuzzy. “She couldn’t have any competition because you’d end up stealing the attention of men away from her.” You nod along, barely hearing anything that leaves his mouth, too focused on the intense pleasure coming from between your legs. 

Steve presses forward, his hands kneading your breasts as he buries himself deeper inside you. “You feel so good, Snow.” He begins to kiss your collarbone and shoulders, groaning as you tighten around him. He picks up his pace, feeling his balls tighten and his cock twitch, a loud groan escapes him as cum spurts out of him, filling you to the brim. “Fuck…” He pulls out, sagging into a chair, his eyes falling closed. 

Bucky moves you, pushing you against a wall and pounding hard into you. “Fuck, take my fucking cock.” He grunts, bouncing you against his thrusts, filling you repeatedly. “You better take my fucking cum, slut. It’s what you are made for.” His metal hand wraps around your throat and squeezes, feeling his cock throb when your eyes widen and your walls spasm, squeezing the life out of his cock. “Oh, what a dirty little slut you are. Who would’ve known you liked being choked.” Bucky smirks before he grunts, burying himself deep inside you and releasing large amounts of cum. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” The moment he pulls out, his body does the same as the others, and before you can fall, Clark catches you and gives you a dark smile. 

“Oh, poor Little Snow. You should’ve chosen another cabin.” Your eyes widen when his eyes flash, and his cock fills you immediately. Even though the Queen was dead, it didn’t mean her minions died along with her. They just now had a mind of their own, a darker, more twisted mind. Your moans and screams echo outside the cabin. Clark’s member was bigger than the others, practically splitting you open. He growls, gripping your throat tightly. “You better find a way to wake the others when I’m done with you because you are ours now.” You are suddenly bent over the table, surrounded by the sleeping men, your nails dig into the wood, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as Clark slams deep into you. 

Your vision goes white as he repeatedly hits your sweet spot. Your juices squirt out and cover him and everything around. Your head hits the table as he continues before filling you with his cum, mixing with the others. You barely have time to register Clark’s body dropping as the magic leaves him. You shakingly stand, your legs wobbling, and you grip the table beneath as you look around and take in the sleeping bodies, or so you thought. You stumble over to the closet man, which happens to be Steve and feel his pulse. 

Your eyes widen, and your body drops as a wail escapes you, magic exploding from your body as you release every emotion you’ve been keeping in. Your eyes begin to close, and the last thing you hear is the men coming back to life, their hands grabbing you and bringing you upstairs. 

Come morning. You would learn never to trust strangers. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[lvlyhao]

『when he's on tour / MARK LEE』

A/N: thoughts on how mark would be as bf when he's away on tour :(

gifs used in this are not mine and they will be removed if requested!!

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), comedy (☼)

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i swear a bit maybe???

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © lvlyhao 2023.

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mark is usually pretty clingy with you already, but he turns it up to the max before a tour

being away from you like that is one of the parts about his job he hates the most, and yeah, he knew what he was signing up for since the beginning

but he can’t help but be heartbroken about it every. single. time

the other members know him well enough to give like a 2 weeks notice for him to get his shit together and spend as much time with you as humanly possible??

cus otherwise, he’ll get caught up in rehearsals, schedules and whatever else and then the day before they leave be like

“oh shit”

and if that’s the case we all know mark is gonna be miserable during the whole thing right lmao

yeah mom taeyong isn’t letting that happen

(again)

mark normally sees the time before a tour as an opportunity to check off a LOT of things from your couples bucket list

like, do you have any tv shows you’ve been meaning to watch together? you’re binging it today

you wanted to visit that coffee shop right? get your coat, you’re going rn

you wanted to buy matching bracelets yeah? he’s already got them

and it’s just a very fun, loving time for the both of you

it keeps you busy enough not to spiral about what it’s gonna be like not seeing each other for months

:)

of course, it doesn’t work 100% of the time

especially at night, when mark’s about to fall asleep, the loneliness of not having you around starts to seep in

and it’s like he says goodbye to you in his head before it happens irl

which is 1. sad as heck??? and 2. kinda suffering through it twice, cus he always thinks he’s gonna be more “well prepared” for it this time, and that’s never true

by now it’s probably pretty obvious touring is a very dramatic experience for him right lmao

johnny’s always like “bro it’s just a couple months you’re gonna be f i n e” but for mark it’s,,, not that simple

he’d rather say bye when it’s just the two of you, maybe at your place or somewhere nice

it feels a lot calmer when it’s like that, cus then it’s tight hugs, some kisses and mark saying he promises he’ll text you every day and call you as much as he can

and yeah maybe one of you lets a tear or two fall down but it’s fine

now

if you go with them to the airport

it’s gonna be so much more chaotic like holy crap, trust me, not going is the better option

if for some unknown reason you’re like “no i’ll go with you to catch the plane and we’ll say bye there”

there’s gonna be a lot more crying involved

cus it’s one thing hugging you bye when his flight’s in 6 hours or so, but it’s a whole other thing when everyone’s already boarding and some other member is trying very hard to be gentle but he has to go NOW

it’s all so rushed he can barely even tell you he loves you :(

mainly bc he wanted to keep hugging you until he absolutely had to let you go

oh well

mark is 10000% the type to ask you to put together a playlist for him to listen to during the trip

he can be a bit of an airhead at times but he does his best to keep you updated on how he’s doing, where he is right now, things of the sort

so he tries to text you the moment the plane lands, when they get to the hotel, when he’s eaten

and it’s not even just texts

it’s a cute candid selfie AND a text

now

mark is definitely not the best photographer in nct

but he will try so hard to take good pictures for you

cus all he wants is for you to feel like you’re there with him, seeing all those cool places

having said that, most pictures do turn out to be crappy

but he’s willing to ask for help from another member so it’s all good lmao

(i’m looking at johnny, jaemin or tyong tbh)

sends you a picture of every single dog or cat he sees

absolutely every single one

keeps a clock in your timezone in his phone so he knows the best times to text/call

speaking of calling

i’m sorry to tell you you’re not getting a one on one facetime session with him

it’s just not happening

like it may last 5 minutes tops, but that’s the time it takes for someone to hear your voice/barge into his room and immediately ask to talk to you

haechan, johnny, yukhei and baek do that a lot

but normally the other members follow lmao

it’s 50% to annoy him but 50% bc they genuinely wanna see you

it doesn’t bother you too much cus you know

they’re cute or whatever

he’s not really the type to get small trinkets from every place he goes to bc that’s just ??so much??

instead, he’ll probably get you one really nice gift

like this huge plushie he had to carry around himself on their way back home bc no one had enough space in their bags for it

or a new perfume he thinks you’ll like

i love him your honour

one last thing bc this is already way too long

mark is the KING of backstage pictures and TMI's about the other members

like at this point you have enough blackmail material to torture them for 6 months minimum

and tbh it’s mainly haechan when he’s with dream/127 and jongin with superm lol

but he keeps it varied

you end up with even some derpy jaehyun pics, best case scenario

he’s already making plans on how you are gonna celebrate him being back home

…and it most likely includes building a pillow fort and watching marvel movies but i didn’t tell you that

[strawbubbysugar]

*sips tears*

Well, you really got some angst so far. Can already tell there will be heavy angsty bits along the way. Mean while, here’s the gallon of tears from the last fanfic you wrote and hear a bucket of the ones from the current story. Congrats pumkim. You have successfully made a ton of mean cry over fictional characters ;-;, including myself.

Id make sure to save those tears or youre gonna be dehydrated by the end of this fic

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

I posted 4,201 times in 2022

1,047 posts created (25%)

3,154 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@toomanystoriessolittletime

@chaoticgeminate

@the-scandalorian

@queenofthefaceless

I tagged 3,109 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#q - 1,250 posts

#fic rec - 714 posts

#comment reply - 624 posts

#my fic - 314 posts

#fanfic - 260 posts

#fanfiction - 250 posts

#pedro pascal - 250 posts

#fan fiction - 240 posts

#asks - 146 posts

#din djarin - 102 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#but the woman is his housekeepers niece and he wasn't really listening when she asked him he only heard homeless and baby and he was like

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

a shitty day

Summary: You had a shitty day. Matt shows up to comfort you.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem. Reader

Wordcount 1.2k

Warnings: Angst, crying, fluff, sharing a bath tub, Matt being the perfect bf (who kinda breaks into your apartment)

A/N: Something that had been on my mind for some time. Not beta'd.

You had never been more relieved to step into your apartment. You let your bags down to the ground, locking the door and just let your head rest against the cold wood.

This day had already started on a bad note and it didn’t get any better the longer it lasted.

After waking up your hair refused to do what you wanted, leaving you walking around having a typical bad hair day. Then you spilled your tea all over you, thankfully still at home, but you had to change. Of course you hadn’t any blouses left already ironed, so in a hurry you took care of your blouse, burning two of your fingers in the process.

It wasn’t even 9 am and you had already felt like crying.

It didn’t get better once you actually got into work. You had two meetings that very well could have been handled via email. The potential customer proceeded to insult you just because you were a woman and then you lost the account you had been working on for months to your new, male, co-worker. Without any explanation.

That you had pulled several all nighter and knew every single thing in this account seemed not interesting for your bosses.

After that you didn’t bother staying longer to work on your new account, clocking out exactly at 6 pm to make your way to the grocery store to buy your weight in chocolate and wine.

You thought your day couldn’t get any worse, but oh how wrong you were. Just as you got out of the grocery store, on your way to pick up the chinese food you had already ordered, it began to rain. Not a little bit, no it felt like buckets of water were coming down on top of you.

Instead of picking up your food you made your way home, drenched to the bones and your mood on a level of low that it hadn’t been invented until now.

You didn’t bother with your bags, only bending down to grab the bottle of wine as you made your way to your kitchen to grab a glass before you went into your bathroom.

You sat on your toilet seat as you watched your tub fill with water, the scent of oranges filling your bathroom from your favourite bubble bath. You didn’t know when you had started to cry but you let the tears flow as you opened the wine bottle and filled a glass, setting it down on the edge of your tub as you shut the water off and began to get out of your cold and wet clothes.

You didn’t even hiss as you stepped into the hot water, lowering your whole body into the tub. Groaning you rested your head on the edge of the tub, the tears still falling down your cheeks. You sobbed, taking a shuddering breath before you grabbed your wine glass and took a sip.

The only good thing about today ending was that you didn’t have to work tomorrow. That, and your date with Matt.

You hadn’t seen him in almost a week and you were really looking forward to spending some time with him. Dating him, getting to know him, was still new.

Even though you had been spending time with him before. As Daredevil. When you didn’t know it was him underneath that mask.

You sighed, looking out of the window as you stretched your muscles, another sob escaping your lips. You took calming breaths, closing your eyes, trying to calm yourself down.

You jumped, Water splashing out of the tub, when there was a knock on your door. Your… bathroom door.

“It’s me,” you heard Matt’s voice and you gulped, brushing the tears away and then scoffing at yourself. He couldn’t see you. But he’d know.

“Can I come in?” he asked and you sighed.

“Yeah. Come in,” you said quietly.

The door opened and he stepped in, dressed fully in black, the mask covering the upper half of his face still in place.

“What.. What are you doing here?” you asked. He closed the door behind himself so the bathroom would stay as warm inside as it was.

“I… I heard you…”

“Crying?” you whispered and he nodded.

See the full post

524 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#4

Drabble No. 6

Summary: “Who did this to you?” his modulated voice demanded, leaving no room for any argument. “Din…” you shook your head but he kept his fingers under your chin making you look up at him. “Tell me. Please,” he added softly.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem. Reader

Wordcount: 1.1k

Warnings: mutual pining, implied violence, mentions of injuries, fluff, one sexual thought, pregnancy mention

Drabble Masterlist

Being back on Nevarro with the child felt weird for Din. 

For many reasons. 

Much time had passed since he had visited the planet. Many things had changed. 

He had changed. 

Yet there was one constant in his life that did not change at all, even though he had been trying to change it since… he couldn’t even remember how long. 

His feelings for you. 

He had just started out at as a Bounty hunter many (many) years ago when he saw you for the first time. You were young back then, too young, yet you had been (and still are) the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

You had just started working at Greef’s Cantina, your eyes wide and fearful as you spilled Karga’s Spotchka all over Din’s lap, probably fearing for the worst. He was a Mandalorian after all. But Din was way too busy admiring you in your flustered state. Not that he could ever be angry with you. 

No matter what you did.

Not even when you married someone else a couple years back. 

Din had waited too long to come clean to you. To confess his feelings. 

He was your friend, a smile sneaking to your face whenever he entered the Cantina while other people shook with fear. 

You never treated him differently after that first time you met. You became a very important person for him, even if he never told you. 

Many, many decisions he made since meeting you were made with the question what would she do in his mind. 

He chose to ignore that the reason he hadn’t been on Nevarro lately might have to do with the fact that you were married and maybe even with child. God to imagine you pregnant…

A thought Din made equally angry (because it wasn’t his child inside of you) and aroused (because he imagined it would be his child inside of you). 

Grogu was sleeping in his pram as he walked the familiar path to the Cantina and if his Beskar seemed even shinier than usual it was because he polished it. Twice. Not because he was nervous, no. Never. 

The door opened and he stepped into the Cantina. 

It was almost empty. Only two booths filled and a couple of individuals at the bar. He nodded towards the man behind the bar, his eyes scanning the whole room until he found you sitting tucked into the back corner, his back towards him. Yet he would recognize you everywhere. 

Greef had told him that you had taken over the books of the Cantina, which explained the many stacks of paper and holo’s on the table in front of you as he made his way towards you. 

“Cyar'ika,” he said and saw your shoulders tense for a moment. 

“Din,” you whispered, a smile sneaking to your face before you flinched. There was no hiding from him. You were happy that he was here. Yet tomorrow would have been better. After you had a chance to get some bacta to take… care of your face. You took a deep breath before you turned around to face him with a soft smile. 

Din’s breath caught in his chest as he saw you. A barely healed cut in your eyebrow, a nasty bruise on your cheek. 

He was touching your cheek before he even realised he had moved, his gloved hand softly running over the injuries. He opened and closed his mouth for what felt like a million times, before he shook his head once and took his glove off, his fingertips running over your cheek. 

See the full post

601 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#3

Stay

Summary: A morning after with a naked Javi in your kitchen

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x fem. Reader.

Wordcount: 778

Rating: E for Explicit

Warnings: fluff, smut (unprotected sex)

A/N: a tiny Drabble from me to you inspired by this pic (which doesn't represent the reader in this fic it just inspired me)

Part of the Stay universe

"I was wondering where my shirt went…” you felt arms wrap around you as you waited for the coffee maker to do its work. Turning your head you looked into the tired yet smiling face of Javi, his hair a wild wavy mess.

“You were more concerned about the shirt or…?” you teased and he gave you a wide smile, before he kissed you.

“It is a nice shirt, but no. I missed you… The bed is not warm enough without you” he kissed your shoulder and you turned in his arms, pulling yours around him. You raised an eyebrow, your hands running down his back until you squeezed his ass.

“You’re naked…” you hummed.

“No point in getting dressed if I plan to have you naked on me all day, hm?”

He kissed you, his hands undoing the couple of buttons you had bothered to button up on your way from your bedroom to your kitchen. His fingers ghosted over your kin, while he moved his lips on yours.

“Javi I have to work…” you mumbled.

“Take the day off…”

You chuckled against his lips. “This is not how it works in the real world.”

“Then stay in my world for a little longer…”

You glanced at the clock. You had a little over three hours before you had to be at work.

“Okay. But first breakfast.”

See the full post

646 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#2

Prey

Summary: It was just supposed to be an easy job. But then he saw you.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem. Reader

Wordcount: 7.1k

Raiting: E for Explicit (beginning and end of Smut is marked with a red divider, so you can read the fic without it if you prefer it this way)

Warnings: Soulmate AU, gonna tag it as Dub Con to be sure, bounty hunting, stalking, obsessive behavior, voyeurism, Sugar baby, attempted assault, choking (not the fun way), nakedness, character death, strangers to lovers, weddings, smut (unprotected sex), some breeding kink, lies

A/N: This fic has been the better part of my life for the last 6 weeks. The original idea was to write something... completely different. Something dark and twisted. I think I got the twisted part down though and it is... different. A big thank you goes out to @chaoticgeminate who listened to my whining about this for the last weeks and came up with the ✨ plot twist ✨ and another big thank you to @the-scandalorian who beta'd this monster like a champ and yelled at me for writing it in the first place

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

See the full post

922 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dream (a little Dream)

Summary: Your dreams bring you somewhere they shouldn't be able to bring you. And even Dream himself can't explain why.

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x gn reader

Wordcount: 1.2k

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of dead parents, a kiss (or two)

A/N: I know nothing about The Sandman except for what I've seen on the show. But I've been thinking about this for a week so here we are.

“What are you doing here?” 

You looked around, confused for a moment where the voice came from until your eyes landed on a dark dressed figure. A man. No… Not a man… Something…

“I was looking for…. The dream.”

You said to him, his eyes not leaving you as you looked around, taking the room you were standing in in. 

“A dream?”

He asked, and you turned towards him, a small smile on your lips. 

“No The dream. The first dream.”

When you were little you had asked your mother where dreams came from. She did not give you an answer, but she had repeated this question to you only yesterday, right before she died. Wondering what the very first dream was that had been dreamed. 

“The first dream?” 

He asked and stepped towards you, his face still unmoving his eyes taking you in. 

“What was the very first dream? The first dream ever… dreamed?” You asked him. 

“Do you know where you are?” he asked. You shook your head. 

“This should not be possible,” he murmured, getting even closer until he was right in front of you. 

“Who are you?” you whispered. 

“I am Morpheus,” he said and you looked at him with big eyes. 

“Dream of the Endless,” you both said at the same time. 

And you swore you could see the surprise in his face. If only for a millisecond. You smiled at him. 

“So what was the very first dream you… made?”

See the full post

1,002 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[indomains]

Shonda rhimes anna delvey

Shonda rhimes anna delvey series#

When Sorokin moved into Rikers, Davis Amazon’d coconut milk and pajamas to the corrections facility. Netflix Neff is described as Anna’s “ride-or-die.” Real Neff adds: “In parentheses, not stupid: I jump off the train when things really get crazy.” But like her character, “I never judge my friends for the mistakes they make.”ĭavis acknowledges she benefited from Anna’s gifted Michelin-star meals and glitzy workout sessions at who-knows-whose expense, but, she said, she truly believed the heiress persona-down to Anna’s $100 tips.Ĭourtesy of Neff Davis DAVID GIESBRECHT/NETFLIX They met so Floyd could study her living character, and Davis said the resulting depiction seemed “really accurate to who I am”-down to her preferred orange nail color. When Alexis Floyd was cast as Neff Davis-the hotel concierge who became close with Anna after she moved into the posh SoHo hotel where she worked-the Brooklyn women lived 10 minutes from each other. In the end, as the series’ name would suggest, Anna is as much her own invention as everyone else’s. In the show (and probably in life) the facade of layers leads everyone to project their own assumptions about her, further complicating their ability to distinguish fact from fictions-both hers and theirs. “Definitely not in public or in front of strangers.” (If anything, she hides behind her cutting humor when she’s uncomfortable, I’ve noticed she laughs-often at herself.) Her frailty is depicted in buckets of tears, but “I don’t really cry that much,” Sorokin said. She didn’t consider herself as entitled, demanding, or shameless as she is onscreen. “I speak four languages-in three voices.” Netflix Anna claims to have a photographic memory and to speak seven languages. When not incarcerated, both Annas are glued to their phones: scrolling through Instagram, looking up the next hot place-encyclopedic reels of who’s who and what’s what. She would be content to leave Netflix Anna alone. “It’s tempting to try to correct the narrative, but I’m trying to resist because that was never the point of the show,” Sorokin said after watching several scenes with me. While other Netflix consultants were sometimes on-set, from jail, Sorokin wrote out and recorded answers to questions about her life. “Can you imagine? Who would say that?” (A careful study of character and with ample supply of $100 tips and insinuation, Sorokin could easily lead them to her desired conclusion.) “I never told anyone I was a German heiress,” Sorokin, who is originally from Russia, told me the first time we spoke at Rikers years ago. The thing about Anna Delvey-both the real one and the Netflix version-is that people saw who they wanted to see.

Shonda rhimes anna delvey series#

Here’s a look at the real people behind the characters in Anna’s world-some as they see themselves, others as they presented themselves in court, and still others as Sorokin, in a series of calls from Orange County Correctional Facility in Goshen, New York, describes them. All the while, she was bilking banks and fleecing friends to finance the illusion…and that’s the true story, as I reported it from a Manhattan courtroom in 2019. And in the new Netflix series by Shonda Rhimes, hardly anyone is left standing.įor years, a New York socialite with a hard-to-place accent introduced herself to Manhattan’s elite as Anna Delvey: a young businesswoman who became the fiction she created by convincing the right (wealthy, powerful) people that’s who she already was. For a show named after one person, Inventing Anna is really a story about many others, or rather, the effect con artist Anna Sorokin had on them.

[eldic12]

KinnPorsche Character Appreciation: Big

The dude truly lived up to his name and in the end he was the bigger person. I really love how they changed the character from the book and somehow kept some aspect, like being Porsche’s biggest bully and his love for Kinn. The writers could have stuck to what was written in the novel but they did not as they have Ken for that, and I truly appreciated that.

It was not explicitly shown in the series that the love he felt towards Kinn was romantic, though we are free to interpret it in any way we want. Maybe he did at one point which is understandable seeing how he must have spent most of his time next to Kinn, attending to all his needs and protecting him. All those hours spent there might be a moment he thought that what he was doing for Kinn was way more than what an ordinary employee should do for his boss. Perhaps there also came a time when he felt jealous during Kinn’s relationship with Tawan which made him so suspicious (only to be proven correct). And maybe felt that same jealousy towards Porsche when he entered Kinn’s life and replacing him as head bodyguard. 

However, with the passage of time, that feeling must have transformed into reverence. Constantly being in the background, he had an exclusive view of what has Kinn gone through as the second son taking on the responsibilities for the major family. He had seen him experienced the good and the bad things that come along with the kind of life they all lead. He must have witnessed Kinn’s struggles and the change in his demeanor after being heartbroken over Tawan. He became protective and kept looking out for Kinn despite his change of assignment (working mostly with Kim). So he must have seen how Kinn changed as well when Porsche came. That’s why I was not surprised of what he said to Porsche (that Kinn love him very much) when he got shot. He took the bullet for somebody who is making the person he respected the most happy. He made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure Kinn would not go back to a shell of a man he once was.

Thank you Big you will be missed.

P.S.

Kim gave him an assignment. Did he ever find out information about Porsche's parents? Did he let Kim know or if he was not able to whose gonna dig those information now?  

[husbandograveyard]

Why I am less active ~ again ~

Cw: mental health // selfshipping // spoilers [One Piece]

Might delete this later, but I am having a moment and I honestly do not know where else to post this without coming across as annoying or weird or whatever.

Please DO NOT REBLOG.

So, it's been an emotional week or two, I have been sick because of sleep deprivation on top of it all and I am pretty sure shark week is coming up, so I am being an emotional mess right now. I won't bother y'all with the details, cause frankly, they don't matter. But I can feel my mental health just spiraling down and I have no way to stop it. It'll soon be the summer holiday, and hopefully I will have some time to recuperate.

Anyway, that's not what it is about here. This is about the most recent OP chapter leaks, altho by now it might actually be out (idk, I usually actually don't follow the manga *this* closely). If you're not there and you don't want to be spoiled then please consider this your final warning to stop reading.

So, in the final chapter Ashura and Izo died. Now... I have not been following super closely, and I am not even sure why I checked the spoilers earlier. I know it's fictional characters, trust me, I am 10000% aware. And yet. Izo's death has hit me a little harder than I expected.

For the past 2 years, he's been my main comfort character and I was actively selfshipping with him. Not so much on Tumblr because I am too self-aware and insecure to throw it out in the open like that, but on discord, among friends, and in some little writings that I never shared up here.

Selfshipping has been a great comfort while I figure out what is wrong with me mental health wise. It's been a great tool to figure out what I look for IRL relationships, hell it's been a help figuring out my sexuality, all in a safe online environment, helping me reflect on the real life that's not online. It's been a great comfort whenever I feel insecure, a source of humor to look back onto on bad days, just a very nice coping mechanism for when the depresso hits hard.

It's nothing new that a comfort character dies, it's almost a running meme that 90% of my comfort characters don't make the end of whatever medium they're part of and usually I handle it pretty well. An emotional reaction at the moment I see/read/hear it happen, and maybe some exaggerated online outrage, then some memes and acceptance, 5 stages of grief, but make it funny kinda thing.

But for some reason, this hit super hard? Be it hormones, depression, the fact that my real life is having some struggles at the moment... it just was the figurative drop that made the bucket spill (is that how you say it in English?) and I have been crying some real human tears over non real characters.

I had planned a tiny break while being on weekend with my students and wanted to get back to writing (especially for the summer event and OP bingo) the moment I got home. Instead I kinda got teary eyed and shut my laptop again. My head just fills with Angsty thoughts, and while those are all fun and games whenever I am in a good place, now is not the moment for it. So I am taking a little break again, I am extremely sorry.

I *will* get over it, and will do what any other fanfic writer does in situations like this: ignore canon and move on. But for now it kinda hurts and I feel silly even admitting to it.

Anyway. I just needed to let that out, writing down my feelings is somewhat cathartic and I am running out of tissues, so I had to try something else. I am not even sure if many people will read this because my range has been a little less again lately, but I just had to get it off my chest? Sorry for making you read this entire rambling wall of text if you're still reading. I am not even sure if I am making any sense at all.

Signing off with loads of love, and drink a lot of water, be gentle for yourself, it's what I am doing rn as well. ♡

Love, Hazel

Ps: please don't reblog, invalidate my feelings cause the characters are not real or if you don't like selfshipping. Anything negative said, I'll just block.

[morbidkisses]

I’m not sure how your requests work or what you would need, but could I get a yandere Hoseok story please?

You Belong With Me. (y! hoseok drabble)

warning: yandere themes, obsessive themes, yandere behavior, manipulation, abusive relationships, hobi gets kind of aggressive later on in the story, misogyny, choking, hair pulling, reader is chained up to the wall, death, minor character deaths.

summary: you get into an argument with hoseok because he refuses to let you go outside and catch up with your friends over a few drinks.

I do not condone this type of behavior so please don't romanticize this type of sick behavior, and if you're part in an abusive relationship please seek help!

once again this is FICTION, and yandere is counted as horror/mystery type of shit so stay safe bubbies! oh and this might be triggering so please read at your own risk, and if you don't like stuff like this then SCROLL. I talk too much-

"What? so you love them more than me??"

you rolled your eyes and sighed in exasperation. your boyfriend was being irrational at this point, and it was driving you crazy. You met hoseok a few weeks ago, and you were charmed by his radiant smile, his sweet words, he was the perfect gentleman with good looks and a fat bank account, you couldn't say no when he asked you out on a date, how could you? he was literally so perfect, but you were too blind to see the dark imperfections hidden behind his bright smile.

"For the hundredth time, hobi, they're my friends and I just want to catch up with them! You're being illogical-"

"How am I the one being illogical when you're the one who is choosing your so-called friends over me???" He threw his hands in the air to emphasize his point, his eyes were so wide you thought they would pop out.

"Just because I want to see them and talk to them doesn't mean I love them more than you, for God's sake!!! stop being so childish." you yelled out as you tugged at your hair strands in frustration. Why was he making such a big deal out of this? it wasn't like you were going out to cheat on him with someone else, you just wanted to go out and catch up with your friends at the local bar.

"You're not going, and that's the end of this stupid discussion, love. Now, get your ass back in the bedroom and change into something proper, you look like a slut in that dress."

Okay. that was it. You grabbed the first thing your hands could find, which was a tissue box and threw it at him as hard as you possibly could in rage. How dare he call you that, your dress was completely fine. You were clad in a simple black dress that dropped right above your knees and the only thing that could be considered inappropriate by society was the little cleavage that was showing, but even if you were to go out in the tightest dress he still had no rights to call you that. You had to leave him. And leave him you did.

"You're such a bitch, I tried to make this shit work but honestly I'm fed up with your immature ass. Im leaving." you picked up your purse which had your car keys and phone in it, before walking towards the entrance door and opening it.

"don't bother calling me again." you mumbled before slamming the door shut behind you.

Hoseok was in a state of shock, his soul had left his body, he couldn't process what just happened. It felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice cold water on him.

"n-no... y/n, sweetie, come back..." his voice cracked as he fell to his knees in devastation. He knew you could no longer hear him, but he hoped you would come back through those doors and hug him. How could you be so cruel? You were the reason he was breathing? He felt like all the light was pulled out of him, his mind going numb as he stared down at his hands.

Soft cries left his lips as his stature stuttered while he sobbed silently, but not before long, he broke into an unhinged laughter as he sat down on the ground and leaned back against the couch, his eyes stuck to the door you had so rudely slammed into his face. All traces of sadness had disappeared from his face, a devilish smirk replacing the heartbreaking frown.

You were going to regret this big time.

He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed a number.

"Tae, my birdie just left me, can you do me a favor and bring her back to me?"

The person on the other line scoffed audibly

"Do I even have a choice?" 'Tae' groaned.

"Not really. Be careful not to hurt her, and bring her two little friends with her as well, I don't care if you hurt them just keep those two alive, my birdie needs to learn a lesson."

A sigh could be heard from the other line before 'tae' mumbled an okay.

"I'll text you the location."

Everything was a blur, one moment you were laughing and having fun with your friends and the very next second you fell unconscious. Unknown to you, someone might have put a few ingredients in your drinks.

You woke up with a throbbing ache in your head, your mind was fogged up and you couldn't think. A groan left your lips as you brought your hands up to rub your temples. You sat up on what seemed to be a bed, your mind started clearing up, but you were still confused, where were you? what happened? You fully opened your eyes and panic started filling your mind as you realized you were in Hoseok's room. You started hyperventilating and quickly got out of bed, but you felt something heavy around your ankle.

was he fucking serious???

He had cuffed your ankles, you were literally chained to the wall. the chain was long enough for you to roam around the room and the bathroom.

You were hysteric, trying your hardest to pull out the thick chains from the wall, but your efforts were futile. Silent sobs began pouring from your lips as you panicked. After giving up you slumped against the wall and hugged your knees as you cried to yourself.

"Oh you're up!" Hoseok beamed as he entered the room.

Furious yet terrified, you stood up and charged at him full speed before grabbing him by the collar of his white shirt and yanking him closer to your face.

"Listen here, you crazy psychopath, if you don't let me out of here right now I'll-"

"oh please, what are you gonna do?" he grinned sinisterly as he gingerly ran his fingers through your hair, you were such a cute little thing, bluffing around. You couldn't do shit to him at the moment, and both of you were aware of that fact. His gentle strokes didn't last long as he yanked your hair back.

"You must learn your lesson, my love, I didn't want to do this but you misbehaved."

His other hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off the blood flow to the brain. Your face started becoming red as you tugged at his hand.

"p-plea... se... s-sto..."

He scoffed at your expression as he tilted his head. "know your place."

He tightened his grip one last time before letting you fall to the ground on your knees, before you broke into a coughing fit.

"That's where you belong" his tone was enough to make you shudder. "you belong with me... completely at my mercy."

You didn't have it in you to fight more so you just weakly glared up at him, your legs felt numb, rendering you motionless on your knees.

"I hate you..."

"aw, but I've barely started your punishment, love! It's still too early to hate me!"

although your words stung him a bit, he didn't show it. He just feigned an innocent smile before he grabbed his phone and unlocked it.

Bewildered by his actions, you frowned. What was he up to? what did he mean when he said it's still too early to hate him?

"Ah Tae! Hello!" He sounded awfully cheerful and enthusiastic. How could he shift his mood like that. It seemed as if he was face timing someone on his phone.

Hoseok looked down at you and he almost cooed at your adorably confused expression.

a sigh was heard from the other line. "You owe me big time, hoseok."

"yeah yeah, I'll send you the money later. Can you show me our friends for a bit?"

no.. he couldn't mean...

He crouched down next to you and showed you the screen of his phone. Your eyes widened in horror as you quickly began shaking your head.

"Hobi, please no no, please! Leave them out of this please!" you almost choked on your tears as you begged him to let your friends go.

"it's a bit too late for that, baby." he pressed a kiss to your temple which made your skin crawl in disgust.

"YOU BASTARD, LET THEM GO." you screamed at the screen as you watched your best friends tied up and severely bruised.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit..." 'Tae' muttered. You couldn't see his face on the screen, probably because he was using the back camera to show your friends.

"the fuck am I supposed to do now?" the person behind the camera asked.

"oh just finish them off."

Hoseok sat down on the ground and back hugged your body, his head resting on your shoulder as he made sure your eyes didn't leave the screen.

"no please don't! I'm begging you please stop!" you cried out as the camera got closer to your friends. Your friends' cries were left unheard as two bullets were shot right into their skulls.

You let out a blood curling scream as you thrashed around, but hoseok was stronger than you, so he held you down with ease. How could he do that?

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you both, you motherfuckers!" you screamed at them both as tears streamed down your cheeks.

"thank you, tae, I owe you! bye bye!" he ended the call.

"You see love, we could've avoided all of this... if you had just been obedient. This is all your fault, I hope you know that." he sighed as he looked down at your crying form.

He was sick, how could he say that, did he feel no remorse?

"you can't leave me... you belong to me."

a/n: that was kind of shitty- but I tried- sorry for the late updates! I hope you like it :]]

this is unedited by the way :]

oh and I used a yandere starter prompt by @yandere-daydreams ! :]

[tedesquire]

Hi! Could I please add another request to my list? :D it's based off a Hey Arnold episode in which Bill and the reader are on a week long school vacation and they run into each other at the beach and Bill develops a crush on a pretty girl who befriends him but the reader finds out the girl's only using Bill to win a sandcastle contest in order to be on the show Baywatch. The reader tries to tell Bill but he won't listen and he eventually overhears the girl talking with her boyfriend and tells her off only to win the contest with the reader and they confess their feelings? 💕💕

Summer Lovin’ 

Words: 2554

Warnings: cursing, female pronouns (but no genitalia mentioned and no skin color specified) a bit of angst (fluffy ending though)

Author’s Note: first of all, I fucking love Hey, Arnold! and definitely love Helga G. Pataki with all my heart. She’s a weirdo and I love it. I knew exactly what episode you were talking about. I can't believe you got me to write 13 pages of fanfic for such a specific and niche fandom, but hey, I don’t do this for the fame. I do this for the little bit of serotonin my brain gets when I imagine myself in scenarios with fictional characters because real men are disappointing. (Mod Olivia)

-

You hated Bill. You hated the stupid way his stupid blonde ringlets caught the California sun, the stupid vacant look in his stupid sapphire eyes at almost all times, the stupid fucking sliver of tan skin he exposed with his crop tops that he somehow got away with at school. Not to mention you loathed the stupid fucking grin that he gave to his best friend Ted, the one that proceeded the ridiculous laugh the stupid boy had.

All these things you despised, detested, and loathed with every fiber of your being. Simple annoyances beginning since kindergarten snowballed into a big, white burning ball of hatred for the boy. Hatred that made your cheeks heat up and stomach churn, just as it was doing now.

You had been so excited for Spring Break, your family deciding to travel 5 and a half hours to a beach house in Half Moon Bay. A week of the sun, sea, shopping, seashells, boardwalks, and salt-water taffy, with no Bill to bother you.

 So, naturally, when you had reached the beach after a long day of travel, the sight of Bill sitting on the sand in nothing but a swimsuit, skin glowing with tanning oil, made your heart stutter. Okay, perhaps you didn’t hate him… despise him, detest him, or loathe him entirely. From an outside perspective… some might even say that you were… in love with him. 

Oh God, it was true. You couldn't stop thinking about Bill. He looked like he was sculpted after an angel. A prince charming on a white horse. And what he lacked in academic intelligence he more than made up for with kindness. He always treated you with the utmost respect, while you paid him back in nothing but sarcasm and insults. 

You didn’t know exactly why you were so mean to him. Perhaps it was your nerves trying to stop you from getting overeager and admitting your crush. One day you were going to have to either man up and confess your feelings or get over him but that day didn’t seem to be approaching anytime soon. 

You were intent on pretending he wasn’t here, setting up your own place to sunbathe until you heard your name fall from his lips.

“Y/n!?” Bill walked up behind you, prompting you to turn around to face him. “What are you doing here?”

“Bill.” You stated dryly, “My family and I are staying nearby.”

“No way! My family’s right over there!” He pointed at a nearby beach house, a young woman who you recognized as recently-graduated and newfound wife, Missy Preston making out with Bill’s father on the porch. Ugh.

“Yes way.” You responded dryly. “We’re over there.” You pointed over your shoulder. “Isn’t this a coincidence, my ideal vacation ruined by the one person I didn’t want to see.” You noticed a flicker of disappointment flash in his eyes, but you couldn't stop yourself even if you tried. “Don’t get any weird ideas about getting all chummy with me, trying to hang out or anything. Just because we’re staying at the same beach and all.” You scoffed, causing him to flinch.

“Uh, yeah. Fine with me, y/n.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly before walking off. You eyed him, sighing softly. 

“What is the matter with me?” You mumble, setting yourself down on the sand. This would have been the perfect moment to get closer to him if only you didn’t have to open your stupid mouth.

[Bill’s POV]

As Bill walked off, he felt most confused. He could never remember what he did to make you dislike him so much, but tried to get back on your good side. Thankfully, with the sun, sand, and waves surrounding him, Bill couldn’t stay too upset for too long. 

He had decided to finally get in the water, heading towards the crashing shore when he had stepped on something.

Huh. Bill was met with the sight of a brightly colored bucket and shovel. Excellent! There was nothing more resplendent than a nice sand castle. Ted was going to be so jealous when he heard. All he was doing for the week was staying at home watching Deacon. 

Too caught up in his new activity, Bill barely noticed someone approaching him.

“That’s a stellar sandcastle you have there.” Bill’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. Growing up in California he had seen his fair share of tan beach babes, but this one took the cake. A total babe. Talking to me.... Say something, dude!

“Thanks.” Bogus. Thank God Ted wasn’t here to see him blow his shot so odiously.

She pushed her sunglasses down her nose to look over the lenses, her bright eyes meeting his. “My name’s Summer.”

“Bill S. Preston, Esquire.” He puffed up his chest, raking a hand through his hair. 

“Well, Bill S. Preston, Esquire, you seem to be a pretty great artist. That’s the best sandcastle I’ve ever seen.” His dark brows knitted in confusion, looking over her to see if she was teasing him. “I bet you’ll walk away with first prize from the sandcastle competition at the festival thing later this week.”

“Sandcastle competition?”

“Yeah! Whoever wins first place will get a guest appearance on Baywatch! But that’s not until the end of the week. How about, in the meantime, you can show me around the beach? It’s my first time visiting the bay.” Baywatch? That’s only the most triumphant show on television! Ted was going to be so jealous. 

“Sounds most excellent! However, It is also my first time visiting the bay. Perhaps… we could explore the area together?”

“I like the way you think, Bill.” She winked, sitting on the sand next to him, the pair getting comfortable.

“What the hell?” You mumbled, looking over your book to watch Bill cozying up with a stranger. Your heart twisted painfully, swallowing thickly, You had no right to be jealous, he wasn’t your boyfriend, not to mention you were cruel to him in every interaction, but that didn’t stop a bitter taste from forming on your tongue. 

You stood, collecting your things and trekking back to your beach house, the beach having lost its luster.

-

You were so over this vacation. You would have given anything to stay at home. It seemed everywhere you went, Bill and that girl seemed to be infecting the air with their infatuation. 

For the past two days you’ve had to suffer watching the pair on the beach splash each other with sea water, build sand castles, and sunbathe with each other; However, that was nothing compared to today.

You and your family had decided to spend the afternoon on the boardwalk. There you had to endure the couple on the carousel holding hands, feeding each other saltwater taffy, and watching the sunset by the wharf. Most fucking heinous. 

It was early evening, and thankfully, Bill and whatever her name was were nowhere to be seen. You didn’t know if you would vomit or cry every time Bill had given her that award-winning smile, the one you so badly wanted to be the recipient of. 

You didn’t think it could get any worse, until you had leaned against the pier, ears picking up a familiar voice, Bill’s. Your heart fluttered, only to sink back down when you realized he was still with her under the boardwalk, back on the beach. 

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“You are.” You scoffed at Bill’s attempt at flirting, ignoring the tightening of your throat.

“I’m so glad I met you.” She giggled. “I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone.” 

If it had been any other couple, you might have enjoyed such a romantic conversation. This was all your fault, if you hadn’t been such a bitch to Bill on the first day, perhaps it would have been you and him hanging out at the boardwalk. 

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here!” 

“Excellent!” You heard him scat in that ridiculous, high-pitched way he did with Ted when they mimicked a guitar. As he walked off, you smiled, not noticing you were crying until a tear slid down your cheek.

You were such an idiot. If only you were able to act normal for a fucking minute and effectively communicate with Bill about your feelings. You had fucked up, it was too late. 

“Hey!” You had heard her speak again, wondering if Bill had returned.

“Hey, babe.” That was definitely not Bill.

“It’s all going according to plan. I do believe Bill is falling head over heels for me.”

“Well who wouldn’t?” You rolled your eyes, angrily wiping the tears off your cheeks.

“He thinks I really like him. What a moron.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What the hell was she talking about?

“If he’s as good as you think he is, we’ll for sure win the contest and end up on Baywatch.” It only took you a second to connect all the dots. This jabroni was clearly her boyfriend, and she was only flirting with Bill to win the stupid castle contest.

You had heard enough, running back to the beach in hopes of finding Bill. 

-

Fuck, all these beach houses looked the same. If Bill hadn’t pointed out which house he was staying at you would have no idea how you would find him.

You knocked on the door, praying you remembered the right house, and that Bill would answer instead of his hormonal parents. 

“Y/n?” Thankfully Bill did answer the door, hair wet from what you assumed to be a recent shower. “How’s it...hanging?” He stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind him.

“Hey. I’m sorry about being a dickweed earlier.” He seemed as equally surprised as you were by your apology. “Um, I guess I was just thrown off at your presence… that’s not really an excuse… anyways, the whole reason I’m here is about that girl you were with earlier.”

“Summer? What about her, dude?” Oh my gosh, of course her name was something as pretentious as Summer. 

“Well, I’m not exactly sure how to tell you this, but… She’s using you. I was on the boardwalk, and I had overheard you leaving, and I guess her boyfriend came up to her.. Long story short, she’s going to try and get you to build her a sandcastle to win that festival thing at the end of the week and take the credit so they can win the roles on Baywatch.” You met his eyes, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry.” 

He stayed quiet, your eyebrows furrowing. 

“That’s heavy. I mean, I’m not stupid. You’re usually most cruel around me, and now you’re acting all...nice? I do not think I’m falling for this one.”

“You don’t believe me?” You couldn’t believe it. “I know I could be less of a bitch to you, but I’ve never lied to you in all the years I’ve known you. You just met her three days ago!”

“Y/n…” He spoke carefully. “I think you were correct when you said we shouldn’t try to hang out just because we’re staying at the same beach.” Your throat tightened, that sour taste returning to your tongue.

“Fine!” You hissed. “I don’t even know why I wasted my breath and time trying to warn you. God, I wish we had never come to this stupid fucking beach!” You ran off his porch into the sand, face burning with shame.

-

Bill couldn’t stop thinking about your interaction yesterday. He was barely paying attention to anything Summer was saying to him. He wished Ted was here. He always knew what to say.

He walked beside her on the boardwalk, eyes glued to the crashing waves, mind replaying the scene over and over again.

“Bill, are you listening?” Bill blinked, turning to face her, cheeks flushing.

“Sorry.”

“I said I’m going to get more sunblock, you’re looking a little pink.”

“Oh, thanks, babe.” He heard her walk off, zoning out again. You had looked so betrayed when he didn’t believe you, but, it couldn't be you were telling the truth. Why would you do something like that? All you seemed to do was glare at him, brush him off, and scoff at his jokes. It was clear he wasn’t your favorite person.

He snapped himself out of his thoughts once more, looking around to see if Summer had come back yet. His eyes caught her figure walking up the beach and he raised his hand to wave, stopping when he saw her wrap her arms around some unknown guy. He was too far away to hear what they were saying but knew what it meant when she had kissed him. Y/n was right. And I was so non-non-non excellent to her.

-

Sweat was dripping from Bill’s brow, his chest heaving as he panted. He could not remember where your house was, even if it was supposedly close to his own. It was the third time he had run up and down the coastline, trying to remember where you had pointed four days ago.

This was ridiculous, he was never going to find you… until Monday, when you both would be at school. But that was days from now!

“Y/n!” He fell to his knees in the sand, trying to catch his breath. 

“Bill?” 

“Y/n!” It was a miracle. He noticed the basket in your hands, having collected odd rocks, seashells and glass while walking along the shore. You had been trying to explore away from your house, hoping not to run into the very man who was looking for you.

“How’s it… hanging?” You asked awkwardly, scanning the area for the female that was usually seen by his side. “Where’s Summer?” He scrambled to stand in front of you.

“Y/n, you were most veracious last evening. Summer had been pursuing me with malicious intent. I caught sight of her embracing her boyfriend and I knew you were speaking the truth. I regret the way I treated you. I should have trusted you.”

“I mean… You had reason to doubt me. It’s not all your fault. Besides, it seemed as if she really liked you. I probably wouldn’t have believed me either.” You coughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly. “Um, to be honest, I really only acted so bogus because I… like you.”

“No way…” He breathed, trying to recall any instance where it seemed you had a crush on him.

“Uh.. yeah. Yes way.” Your cheeks pinked. “But I obviously don’t expect you to return the feeling. I just get really nervous around you so I guess I figured I should treat you like dirt instead of trying to talk to you like a normal person. But I was worried you would think I was too weird, or that I talk too much, or-” You were cut off by a pair of lips. It was so foolish… and so Bill. 

“What about Summer?” You asked once he had pulled away.

“What about her?” It was just like Bill to not stay too upset for too long. 

His gaze was burning, his lips curling into that perfect, knee-melting, pearly smile. That smile you couldn’t stand. That smile that you couldn’t believe was finally directed at you.

[witch-hazels-musings]

hazel my lovely!!!

(this is gonna get long fair warning HAHA)

i started reading fanfics for genshin around feb of 2021 when my body decided it wanted to stop working and i was bedridden for a while, and that's how i came upon your account! i remember the very first thing i read from you was the liyue scenario in which the reader felt they weren't enough for the specific genshin character, and the way in which you wrote emotions and brought scenarios to life with your beautiful writing was what ultimately pushed me to start my account :) i remember lying in bed and giggling at your fluff or crying at your angst, you have such a way with words that i could never fully describe in detail but just know you've touched me and so many others in ways that of which can never be fully comprehended (in a very good way!)

i read your recent announcement post and for one thing it really struck a chord in me: as creators we give away parts of ourselves with everything we put out into the world and not many realize that. even if it's "just fan fiction", there's a lot that goes into the process: developing ideas, making sure you give justice to the characters, finding time to write AND balance your real life responsibilities. it can get really tough, but know that you deserve so much appreciation and love and recognition for what you do for the genshin tumblr community, and you will always have people to remind you that your work is amazing! :)

no one deserves to feel like an outlet for anyone's grievances, even if they're relevant to the content they produce. your interactions with other people are always so kind and full of genuine care and love, you deserve that same energy right back! (and i'm sure myself among many many others will give as much love right back to you!)

i know that many of your supporters would wait an eternity for a new post if it meant your mental stability and maintenance of your love for what you do here, you're amazing hazel and never forget it!! :) <3

I thought I didn't have any more tears to cry today, and here I am dripping because of your message --

I started back in February 21! and wow, you found me from the very first and, honestly, so personal collection of works, only to continue to read and work alongside of me, I feel privileged to be here with you now ( I was inspired by another author here and I hope they are doing great and have a lovely life! )

please know that I really do enjoy seeing someone bounce back from their struggles and while I'm happy to listen, there are some subjects I am not the right person to share with ( I do not wish to take the voice of another, and adding mine in will not assist with the root of the problem )

I had a pretty empty bucket this morning and from all your kindness it is filling back up - I hope to never make you wait too long but to know there are people who think so highly of me and my work, I mean words cannot really describe how reassuring that is -- you are so incredible and the things you make are lovely and I just .. i am so soft tonight

[potatotrash0]

Oh? You've been into Childhood alternative universes lately?*slides Mastermind Nagito file back and pulls seperate piece of paper out* Let's work with that. *sits in the worn down swivel chair that I imagine myself keeping in this hellscape of a fictional office* Now :).

Hinata and Nagito first met when they were six. Nagito was still sick at this time, so his parents were taking him to a doctor in a different country in hopes of being able to treat him. Nagito was sitting on a street corner waiting as some of the servants packed up the car for their plane trip, when he notices a little boy with the greenest eyes and the oddest cowlick crying on the other side of the street. When he goes up to the child to ask what's wrong, he sees the big scrape on his knee, and the busted skateboard lying next to him. Nagito offers a hand to him. "Komaeda Nagito. Need some help?" He says with a smile that wasn't yet tainted with anxiety and despair. The kid crying grabs the hand, still bursting at the seams with his tears, and manages to say "H-hinata Hajime." in a shaky voice. When Hajime's taken inside for a glass of water and bandages, and is able to talk in a less shaky voice, they make a fond promise to hang out when Nagito gets back.

When Nagito gets back from the "trip", Hajime is in absolute shock. This sweet kid who helped him without hesitation had to deal with all this... terrible luck. Hajime does his best to look up ways to feel better, gets a bucket of a water and a handful of chocolates ( drinking water can help stop crying and chocolate can give ranged waves of dopamine [if I remember right]- Hajime doesn't know what dopamine means but it was on a site to help sadness and shit and he's just doin his best), and heads to Nagito's house. He's allowed in, and when he eventually finds Nagito curled up in the corner of his room, he stupidly drops the bucket and chocolates in front of him with a grin. Nagito responds by crawling over to him and crying on his shoulder for seemingly hours, and Hajime lets him.

Nagito was glad he had someone who wouldn't judge him for his "good luck" now.

( afterwards, Nagito says that it was alright, that he heard the servants talking about how it was good luck, since he inherited a large estate, and Hajime says he heard his parents say the same thing, and they both agree that it must have been good luck, since everyone else said so, despite the countless bruises and tears that it caused. Neither of them realize that their views on luck were permanently obscured since then.)

They grow closer after that, and don't seperate once, not as they grow older, not as life beats Nagito inwards which each traumatic event and curls into his beliefs of hope, despair, and talent, not as Hajime realizes he can't save Nagito from himself. Which each day, they grow closer and closer to the hip, practically seamed to each other.

That is, until Hope's Peak academy came into the picture. Nagito and Hajime immediately jumped for whatever chance they had to get in (both reasons are personal, but more tied to the character- Nagito still desires to be amongst the greatest, while Hajime still desires to be remembered [mostly by Nagito, though he doesn't entirely realize that's why].), but when they're still separated by the two courses, that's ywhere the problem lies. You see, Nagito is still an insensitive dumbfuck that doesn't realize how his words affect other people, and when he keeps actively degrading the reserve course students even in front of Hajime, it takes a toll. Hajime starts believing that Nagito hates him because of his status as a reserve course student now, and between the pressure of all the bullshit that happens to him because of his status and now this bs drama, he's willing to pay a price for his affection once again. A price that'll be much too permanent for either's liking.

This is where I add the Kamakura project in. I'm sorry for this upcoming angst shit but I always find my way back here.

When Hajime is presented the Kamakura project, he thinks about being able to join Nagito in the talent course and that Nagito won't be hate him for it anymore. He thinks of Nagito showering him with hugs and praise for finally being able to join him and his classmates. He thinks of the joy it'll bring to Nagito and his parents- but mostly Nagito. He thinks of Nagito, Nagito, Nagito as he signs his name. He didn't think he'd be shoved into a pod. He didn't think he wouldn't be able to see Nagito ever again. As he dies, he thinks about the little boy who offered his hand to him when his other friends left. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. Izuru is born thinking of this boy, and it sticks. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. He doesn't stop thinking of him, even when Enoshima and Ikusaba appeared with their proposition of despair (a part of him told him to not do it, let Nagito keep his hope, this man he couldn't remember), even when Chiaki dies in front of him (he feels... guilty, about her death, but not exactly sorrow. he wonders if he'd feel this way if the sheep man died.).

Nagito realizes who Izuru was when he turned around to aim at him. He saw the cold, dead eyes of this man, and for a moment he saw the boy who remembered him and brought him water and chocolate to help him feel better. The one person Nagito thought couldn't be affected by his luck was gone now. This was how Nagito fell into despair.

They generally stayed together for most of the apocalypse, still attached to the hip, although it was... different now. There were no more subconscious handholding moments as they traveled through the streets. There was no more trying to stop Servant from berating himself. There was no more helping Hinata's injuries. No more ice cream "dates". No more... love, in their presence.

Izuru tells Servant about his plan as they sit together on the boat to Jabberwock. Servant is sitting in the other's lap, stroking their hair as they speak. He responds with expressing his excitement, and Izuru feels a wave of guilt wash over him, though he drowns it out immediately.

Hajime wakes up to see his best friend standing over him. "Hey, Hajime, are you alright?" Nagito says, with a smile tainted with fear and despair as he offers his hand to help him up. Hajime briefly feels a sense of Deja vu, and grabs the offered hand.

(I keep making these too long dkckakkflakfkalfk f u c k)

sobs.........every time you get to the kamukura project i just brace myself bc it hurts like hell 100% of the time without fail......but ahhhhhhh i love this.......

for a moment i thought this was gonna be childhood friends and mastermind komaeda and i nearly had a heart attack?? mmm i’m still buzzing with the ideas but i’ll put it under the cut

just like. hajime finding comfort in having at least one person to rely on in this bizarre situation. komaeda really does ground him, he realizes, but that stability seems to crumble beneath him during that first trial. watching nagito, someone he thought he knew so well, reveal that he had been the one behind this elaborate plan to get himself or someone else killed? there’s no way hajime could okay after that, no way he could look at him the same way.

and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t look at him completely differently either. this komaeda, someone who’s unstable and actively looks forward to the next murder, is still komaeda. he’s still the same guy who goes through whole novels like they’re picture books, who pokes at his food at meal times and has to be nagged at to eat. he’s still nagito. and even if he wanted to, hajime couldn’t find it in himself to just ditch the guy he grew up with for all those years.

so, he reaches out again. gets to know his childhood friend for a second time, relearning his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes. even discovers some things he never noticed before. in a way, they were driven apart, but also brought back together again.

and that’s part of the reason it’s such a shock to see komaeda in monokuma’s place during that last trial, grinning down at them. he looks and sounds like nagito, but he couldn’t be him. someone who put them through all this couldn’t be that same boy who helped him when he fell off his skateboard all those years ago......right?

all of this information, from the world being a simulation to his childhood friend being the one to basically kill all of their classmates, it all throws him off. not to mention that he might not even exist outside of this program. choosing between staying with someone who betrayed him twice over or disappearing entirely........can he even make a decision like that?

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 3 (I Wanna Know)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, genocide mentions, runaways, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, crying, mentions of death, mentions of violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Your girl is in some serious fucking pain but she managed to get another chapter out because she couldn’t sleep! So low and behold, I give you a decent chapter for DK

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 3: I Wanna Know

You were in heat for a few more days. Seokmin stayed with you the whole time and took care of… your every need. Though he looked worn out, he didn’t complain once. He liked that you let him help you. And he was hoping now that your heat was over, you’d let him in a bit more.

Your legs felt like jello, your hair looked like a birds nest, your skin was covered in variously healed bruises. You were a mess. But it was still time to go back to the pack. You made a promise and you always followed through with your promises, even if you were in a horny induced daze when you made it. You were just hoping they wouldn’t know, or at least, wouldn’t make a big deal out of what had happened.

Seokmin helped get you back to your feet and get dressed, putting your arms through your tank top and putting you in your shorts one leg at a time. He had already managed to get himself together as he had woken up earlier than you had. He figured you’d be in worse shape than him after everything… everything you’d been through and he wanted to be sure you were as okay as possible before you started your journey back home.

“There we go, all done!” He chirped after finally buttoning the last button on your jean shorts.

He took a step back to look at you. Aside from the bruises, you physically looked pretty normal now that he had helped you tame your ridiculously tangled hair. But he knew the pack was gonna smell you. You smelled like him from the week of animalistic sex sessions you two had been having due to your heat. It was unavoidable. He knew they’d all know you two slept together the second you walked through the door. He just wasn’t sure how you’d react to their inevitable and unavoidable teasing.

You quickly looked down after you had seen your reflection in one of your buckets of water, “I look like a walking disaster.” You muttered.

“It’s not THAT bad…,” He failed miserably at reassuring you, “But it doesn’t matter anyways, we’re mates. It doesn’t matter if we slept together or not. We would have eventually anyways” Seokmin tried to reason, bringing himself to walk up to you and hold your small hands in his large ones hesitantly.

“They’re all gonna make fun of me.” You pouted at him, looking down at your feet and smiling a bit in embarrassment.

You had never really taken the time to look at him before your whole mating fiasco happened. You had done literally everything in your power to avoid him at all costs so you wouldn’t catch feelings for him. But now that you had spent a good portion of time alone with him, you realized just how much bigger than you Seokmin was. He always seemed so… subservient around the pack that you never really gave his physical appearance much thought when it came to size. He must’ve been almost a foot taller than you, and now that you had seen him shirtless and naked, you also knew just how much muscle he actually had. He was MUCH larger than you had thought. Even his feet looked like they could crush yours with one fast stomp.

He held back a giggle at your cuteness before he spoke up, “They won’t make fun of yoooou. Especially because you could EASILY beat most of them to a bloody pulp with your special wolfie powers and all.”

“Aya! They’re not special ‘wolfie powers.’ They’re just my normal powers. And it’s not my fault you guys are more diluted forms than me.” You chuckled, playfully smacking his toned chest with your hand.

He cocked his head to the side at your statement, “Is that how it works? The longer the line the less of a wolf you are?” He asked curiously while bringing the back of your hand up to his lips and giving it a chaste kiss.

You almost laughed out loud at his question before you remembered that he didn’t grow up with other werewolves. He was a bitten wolf, not genetically a wolf. You remembered that Seungcheol had told you that no one in his family had ever been a wolf before him. He probably had no clue how it all worked, especially since his pack wasn’t always the best help when it came to educating each other on important matters. You felt a little guilty for thinking he was just being sort of dumb. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know anything about it. So you held back your little outburst and nodded instead.

“Yeah basically. I mean, most genetic lines now can still obviously transform, but they’re still not…” You tapped your chin with your index finger for a moment while thinking of the correct words to explain what you meant, “As much of a wolf as me.” You decided.

Your mate was watching you intensely, listening to every word you said closely, as if he was learning the most important information he’d ever need to know,“I’m honestly probably more wolf than I am human. But most modern day wolves are more human than wolf, that’s why it’s relatively easy for them to assimilate into human societies and blend in.” You informed him, the both of you gathering the rest of your things and making your way out the cave to the path leading back to the forest.

“But hiding our eyes isn’t always easy!” He interjected with enthusiasm you found oddly cute, “If we get too emotional, the potions disintegrate and our real eye color shows. So it’s not really SUPER simple with us.” Seokmin responded, grabbing your hand closest to him and interlocking your fingers.

For a moment, you wanted to pull away from him and push him for initiating the sudden contact. But you also promised him that you’d give him a chance and that you’d try to be the best mate to him that you could be. Plus, the warmth of his hand felt… kind of nice on yours. So you kept your hands together, giving his fingers an involuntary squeeze that made Seokmin’s face light up.

“I suppose you’re right. But really, as long as a wolf can keep their shit together, they can seem very human. When my people were still around, we were very obviously NOT human. We couldn’t be even if we had tried.” You casually let out, skipping over a large rock in your way.

“What were your people like?” He questioned, genuinely wanting to know what your life was like before you lost everything. His pack had tried to ask you before, but you’d always clam up and make up some excuse to leave the conversations. He was hoping with it just being the two of you, you might actually be okay with sharing some more personal information with him.

You waited a moment before you spoke up. What WERE your people like? It had been so long that you hardly even remembered anythings about them. You usually tried to push away all the thoughts of them because remembering all you lost hurt too much. But when he asked you the question, it was like everything came rushing back to you all at once.

Your family, your tribe, your traditions. You remembered how the tribal elders used to let you sit in on council meetings because your father insisted you needed to know everything there was to know about running the tribe. It made you feel so important when he did that, like you were his pride and joy. You thought about all the times you had sat next to your mom as she cooked up potions and remedies in her old stone cauldron for the healer to use on the sick and injured. She always cared so much about everything and everyone around her, you always loved to help her help people. And you could all but see your 11 big goofball brothers running up to you holding their latest hunting prizes with the most giant toothy grins they could muster. Those dumbasses, they always made the most of life. You missed them so fucking much.

Everything started swirling around your head and it made a huge smile appear on your face with watery eyes at the thought of your early life. Seokmin took notice and felt a bit proud of himself that he had made you that happy, you had never beamed a smile that big before in front of him or his pack.

“My people… they were… they were just-” You paused, “They were just the most amazing family a person could ever ask for.” You started, wiping away a sudden tear that had fallen down the side of your face from the memory of them, hopefully before your mate could notice. Of course, he still saw, but he said nothing because he knew it would upset you.

“They were always just sooooo happy. I remember every night was basically like a huge party. We’d all dance and sing around the campfire, there’d be elders telling stories and offering the young words of wisdom while the parents would scold us for interrupting anytime anything got cool or surprising.” You sadly laughed, “We were all just… one big happy family. Even if I wasn’t actually related to all of them. I can’t really explain the connection I felt to them… it was just as strong as the one I had to my biological family.” You sighed, finally reaching the edge of the forest and finding the proper trail for the both of you to set towards home.

He could hear the pain in your voice as you spoke of your past life. You must’ve really missed them. But there were so many questions he still had. What about your actual family? Did you have brothers or sisters? What kind of life did you have? How did you sleep or eat? Where did you come from? But he knew he shouldn’t ask so many at once, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or hound you with his thoughts all at once. So instead, he asked just one question he knew he should probably know the answer to: “What- What happened to them?”

His words made you halt your movements for a second. Remembering that day wasn’t something you liked to do. In fact, you went to great lengths to avoid the memory. It haunted everything you did. Every minute of everyday was plagued with the thought of their demise. You had nightmares every night. You saw their hallowed faces in every person you met. You smelt ash and burnt flesh more than you smelt anything else. Their screams were still stuck to your mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. It tore you apart to think of it. But still, you knew he deserved to know. You’d want to know if you were him.

“They were… they were massacred.” You sadly shrugged, biting your lip to keep yourself from letting sobs out. He stroked your hand in his in an effort to soothe your sad soul. You took comfort in his small affectionate touch, it grounded you and pulled your tortured mind back down to the conversation you were having.

You took in a deep breath, “It was just any other day, at least, to me it was,” you gulped before you continued, “I was helping my mom with some new herbal remedies for some of our sick warriors when suddenly we heard this loud BANG. My mom wasn’t a wolf, in fact, back then no female was. Well, no female but me that is, but that’s beside the point,” you shook your head and tried to get yourself back on the topic at hand.

“I could feel the vibration under my feet. It was a cannon, but we didn’t know that then. They weren’t really used in our part of the world, they’d freeze in the cold weather and couldn’t always light at the altitude that my village was set on. But somehow, the Cossacks found a way to make them work… they always found a way…” you stated flatly, looking up to the sky out of respect for your fallen family.

“They were upset that my pack had killed some of their soldiers that had hurt a group of women in a neighboring tribe. So they punished us the only way they knew how: by brutally murdering everyone and setting everything they could on fire. Fire’s one of the few ways Icyan wolves can actually be killed. They killed almost everybody. As far as I know, Cyrus and me were the only ones who got out.” You swallowed back the lump stuck in your throat as you and Seokmin continued onward to your destination.

Now this question really worried him, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted answers to it. But he, again, wanted to know more about you and how you got to him. He’d figure it out eventually, might as well try to get it out of you today while he had you going already.

“Can you- can you tell me a bit about him…?” He almost whispered, afraid to say it any louder as he didn’t want to upset you.

“W-What?” You asked for clarification.

“I- I Wanna Know more about… him… Can you tell me about him?” Seokmin stuttered out. He was still unsure if he should’ve said it to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know more about the man who had you crying constantly over him.

You turned your head to look at him, “About who? Cyrus?” A bit of fear crossed your face as you attempted to confirm what he asked.

“Y-Yeah. He was your mate. And Jun kind of explained what you told him had happened to him the other day, but I don’t know much about him. Like how you two got out. Or why he died…” He looked you in the eyes and say that tears and immense sadness had began to pool in them, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I just figured… that it would be better to get it out in the open now…” Seokmin bit his lip as he waited for your reaction/response.

“Cyrus was… Cyrus. He is- was… my best friend.” You sighed defeatedly out loud before you continued, “He always took care of me. He imprinted on me right after I was born, so he was always there for me.” You started, still trying to find the right words to emphasize what he meant to you. But it was hard, you weren’t very touchy feely like Seokmin was. Feelings were all new to you, so you weren’t sure how to share them aloud.

You didn’t want to upset Seokmin by speaking too fondly about your past mate, but you also couldn’t help the pang in your heart you felt Everytime you heard Cyrus’s name. Part of you wanted to never speak of him again, another part of you wanted to never shut up about him. Your mind was full of conflict but your heart was full of sorrow. How could you possibly ever forget Cyrus enough to have a new mate? How could you ever emphasize how important he was to you when Seokmin, your current lover, was holding your hand? How were you supposed to pick and choose such things when your heart was pleading for a break?

“Wait- he imprinted on you right when you were born? I didn’t know that was possible…” he lost steam towards the end of his sentence and started to mumble while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Oh no! It wasn’t like that!” You stopped him before he could get any further, “See, Icyan wolves start to shift really soon after birth, like only a month or two after. So it basically means that we’re able to phase our entire life. Cyrus was only five years older than me. He acted like an older brother to me until I hit 16 ish. But that’s when it all went wrong…” You held back a whimper that was threatening to spill past your lips.

“But the day everyone was killed, my dad and the other wolves came to defend out den. I was hiding in the hut while my mom was trying to do a protection spell. But they had killed most of our warriors already when they tried to save their families. We’re very protective of the ones we love” you sniffled slightly, still trying to hold your emotions back but obviously failing miserably.

“Cyrus came to find me after his family was killed. It was his instinct to protect me first, even though he loved his parents, they had each other still. And I was his mate, that’s how we work, mates and children before anyone else. He came into our home and tried to comfort me. We all thought we were gonna die. They had already killed my brothers by the river bank, it broke my parents. They saw red. But they knew I was still alive. So, before the Russians stormed our hut, my dad told Cyrus to take me and run as far as possible for as long as possible, so he did. After that, we were alone, but we had each other. It was like that for a few years. But then… I turned 16 and everything went to hell.” Your lip trembled and quivered with guilt.

Your current mate whined at your sadness, he wanted to help you, but he knew there was nothing he could say or do to make you feel better. So he just kept rubbing the back of your petite hand and giving you his full undivided attention. You had heard his whine, but you knew it was just because you were upset, so you gave him a small depressed smile before you kept speaking.

“Well you know that he- well that he’s obviously dead. Otherwise we couldn’t have imprinted on each other. But I’m sure you want to know… why he died” you mustered up all the courage you could before finally explaining it all to him, “He saved me. I fucked up. I was spotted by some towns people and he took the fall so they wouldn’t take me instead. Our wolf forms were similar. All Icyan wolves are white, we can just have different patterns to us. The villager that spotted me didn’t see the black spot on my head, he just saw a huge white wolf. They followed me back to our den and they were met with him. He refused to let me go. He was a telepath and he was an alpha. He ordered me to hide and he told me he loved me before he gave himself up to the angry mob.” You stopped walking and let the tears brimming your eyes freely fall.

Seokmin stood in front of you playing with your hair sweetly, trying to give you something to ground yourself and distract you from your heartache. It killed him to see you that way.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t refuse his order. He was- he was my alpha. So I had to stay and watch them take him back to their town. I left after that to try and find him, he never told me that I couldn’t. But by the time I got there- they- they-” you sobbed out while bringing your shakey hands to your face, “They had already started torturing him. There had been reports of two huge wolves in the area and they thought he would lead them to me if they hurt him enough. But he never did.” Seokmin pulled you into his chest as you cried, barely able to breathe as you convulsed into loud whimpers and wails.

“I- I felt everything. Every cut they made, every punch, every hit. Because I’m of my shaman bloodline, I felt everything he felt, I- I’m an empath. He figured out I was in the crowd and just kept telling me that he loved me telepathically. That it wasn’t my fault. But- But how could it not be- be my fault?” You stuttered as you gripped onto Seokmin’s shirt for dear life, “I got him killed!” You all but screamed, crying into your mate’s chest so hard he was worried you’d pass out.

Seokmin just let you cry. He couldn’t imagine the guilt and pain you must have been feeling. He just held you and shushed you and told you that everything would be okay. But how could you be okay? You lost everyone in the most awful ways possible. No wonder you didn’t want him around before. If he were you, he wouldn’t either. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk losing MORE people.

He knew you thought it was your fault, but it wasn’t. If the roles were reversed, he knew you would’ve done the same thing as Cyrus. Just like he always knew that if push came to shove, he’d do the same exact thing your past mate had done to save you. You were his whole world, he’d never let anything or anybody hurt you if he could help it. He’d defend you with his very last breath if it meant you got even a second longer to live.

-

After a while, your breathing evened out and your sobs became just tears. Seokmin pulled you back up from his torso to look you in the glistening eyes. He quickly wiped away any water that had streamed down your face in the process. He really wanted to just kiss all your tears away, but now wasn’t the time for that.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). I wish I could take away your pain. But I can’t. The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be here for you.” He assured you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears.

“Even if I start crying over my dead mate?” You tried to sound sarcastic, but you honestly felt too weak to. It probably came out as more of a whine to him.

“Even if you start crying over him. Or if you miss him. Or even if you just want to talk about him. Or any of them. It’s okay. I understand and I’m here for you, no matter what.” He pecked your nose softly and gave you the most loving eyes you had ever seen.

You couldn’t help but pull him into a sweet, thankful kiss, attempting to show him how grateful you were for him with your actions rather than your words that always seemed to fail you. Once you pulled back, you realized just how tired you were. Seokmin seemed to pick up on it to because, suddenly, you were in his arms being carried through the woods bridal style. You gave him a look of uncertainty, he just nodded at you and gave you a loving smile, signaling that he would be okay to walk back the rest of the way to the house with you in his arms.

You wanted to protest it all for his sake, but your eyelids felt too heavy. So instead, you just snuggled your now swollen face into his chest and let the darkness take over, feeling safe in his arms and knowing he would never let anything bad happen to you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe everything would be okay.

(Updated 9/17)

[emachinescat]

Mac + Alkali + Eyes

A MacGyver Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump day 18 - “I can’t see”

Summary: Mac is used to being the one who uses random chemicals to his advantage, but that changes when a fleeing target throws a bucket of drain cleaner in MacGyver’s face – right into his unprotected eyes. Or, in which Jack has to hurt MacGyver in order to help him.

Characters: Mac, Jack

Words: 3,377

TW: graphic description of chemical burns to the eyes, panic attacks

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

MacGyver was used to being the one who used his surroundings to his advantage.  Most of the people he went up against – terrorists, traitors, hitmen, dealers – were fairly traditional with their weapons and combat.  Mac was used to being shot at, beaten to hell, and nearly blown up.  What he wasn’t used to was bad guys abandoning their trusty firearms for a bucket of drain cleaner left over from Mac’s most recent improvisation.  That’s not to say that this particular weapons dealer was creative about his approach – but the sad truth was that alkali was just as effective when thrown into someone’s eyes as it was in an impromptu fog machine.

Mac didn’t have enough time to close his eyes all the way.  He saw what was going to happen the second before the chemical splashed into his face, and then he didn’t see anything.  

Pain exploded behind his squeezed-shut eyelids, radiating from the point of contact like RF waves from a cell tower.  He stumbled to his knees, skidding hard on the concrete floor of the abandoned auto shop turned weapons-stash, his fingers instinctively reaching up, clawing for his eyes, desperate, panicked, needing to do something to stop the burning, to ease the howling agony searing his eyes.  He managed to keep himself from touching the eyelids, if only just. Even with his eyes on fire, he still knew that touching would only make things worse.  He also knew how to treat severe chemical burns to his eyes, and step one was actually keeping his eyelids peeled open – squeezing them shut would only increase the damage.

The racing footsteps of the bad guy had disappeared into the distance the second that Mac had gone down.  He supposed he should count himself lucky that the guy didn’t stick around to finish him off, though it was hard to feel lucky when his eyes felt like they were dissolving in pools of acid.  Nausea rolled Mac’s stomach, and he nearly vomited.  He was now listening for another pair of footsteps, coming from somewhere behind.  Where the hell is Jack?

Well, in the meantime, Mac thought frantically, feeling the tears streaming down from his damaged eyes, he could stop putting off the inevitable and do what he needed to do.  Mac didn’t normally procrastinate, even when the thing he didn’t want to do was going to hurt.  But now, the thought of trying to open his eyes, which were already twin pools of lava eating through his head, almost made him wish that his attacker had used his gun instead.  Mac took a deep breath – he felt its tremble to his very core – and wrenched his eyelids open with a yell of defiance.

And immediately slammed them back down, a rough sob exploding from his chest in anguish.  Open air on his eye felt like he was being doused all over again, like someone had jabbed red-hot pokers into his eye sockets and was twisting them around for good measure.

He didn’t hear Jack’s feet slapping against the pavement over his own cries, but he did feel the strong, safe hand fall on his shoulder, felt himself being turned around, heard Jack’s frantic voice demanding to know what had happened, what was wrong.  Trying his best to regain control of himself now that Jack was here – Jack fixed things, it’s what he did, it would be okay – Mac managed to choke out three of the most terrifying words he’d ever uttered:

“I can’t see.”

***

Jack Dalton couldn’t remember the last time that he had been so terrified.

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when ran up to see the dealer gone and Mac hunched on the ground – all Jack could see was a head of disheveled blonde hair and Mac’s back, shoulder muscles bunched together like a snake coiling up on itself.  Fear thudded through him in time with his heart as he approached, thinking maybe the kid had been shot or stabbed or something.

He didn’t expect to see Mac’s face a grotesque shade of red, skin patchy and raw, studded with tear tracks.  But the worst of it was Mac’s eyes.  Jack felt sick at the sight.  Mac’s eyes were shut tight, the lids swollen and puffy, an electric red like the skin had been peeled off, revealing the gooey bits underneath.  And his kid’s body quivered with uncontrollable sobs that he tried desperately to contain, and Jack’s heart shriveled up and died at the sound.

“Mac – Mac, hey, buddy, I need you to focus.  I need you to talk to me, okay?”  Jack had no idea how he managed to keep his voice mostly calm, how he kept the raging panic from consuming every word.  His own hands were shaking as he tried to calm Mac down, to get his attention so he could figure out what the hell had happened to his boy.  

A great sniffle – Jack couldn’t stand to think about how much pain Mac had to be in if he was so openly showing his pain.  Mac didn’t cry, certainly not from injury.  His primary objective when sick or hurt was to downplay the ailment as much as possible.  He didn’t show pain, not to this degree.  Not like this.  And the fact that he was now scared the shit of Jack.  

Mac’s voice shook as he answered, but he managed to supply his overwatch with a semi-coherent answer: The fleeing bad guy had sloshed a bucket of drain cleaner into his eyes.  Jack’s heart nearly gave out then.  He didn’t know all the sciencey details or the chemical makeup of drain cleaner, but he knew enough to understand that this was bad.

He barely managed to temper his own panic – his desire to keep Mac calm and get him the help that he needed was the only thing that kept his emotions in check – as he asked, “Okay, what do I do?  How do I help?”

Mac’s answer was breathless, his chest hitching as he made a valiant effort to regain control over his body’s reaction to his pain.  “Uh… f-first.  Call ambulance.”  Jack did, keeping one hand on his kid’s shoulder in an attempt to ground him, to remind him that he wasn’t alone in his suffering.  Once a Phoenix bus was on its way, he asked, “What next?  How do we treat it until it gets here?”  He thought back to his high school chemistry days (they seemed farther away than he liked to admit), and recalled a sign on the cinderblock wall about safety goggles and eye-flushing.  “Gotta flush those suckers out, right?”

Mac nodded.  With difficulty, he directed, “There’s a hose … around back.  Get m-me there, and we–” he broke off with a huff of agony, but he didn’t need to finish: Jack was already hauling his partner to his feet.  Mac was nearly dead weight, all his focus and energy sapped by his burned eyes.  

“I can’t see,” he reminded Jack, though his overwatch was well aware.

“Don’t worry, brother.  I gotcha.  Just one foot in front of the other.  That’s it.  Careful there – slight step down.  Here we go… All right, let’s ease ya down.”  Gently, Jack lowered Mac to the ground.  “What’s the best way to do this?” he asked, standing up to grab the hose and twisting the tap.  For a horrible moment, nothing happened, then a great gurgling erupted from within the wall, and the hose stiffened, came to life like an industrial green snake.  It was the kind that had a nozzle with several settings, but all of them were too strong for his purposes, so he removed the nozzle all together, and a stream of water gushed forth at a much more reasonable rate.

“Um…”  Mac’s fingers were clenching and unclenching, raised up to his chest, like he was having to actively restrain himself from reaching up and touching his swollen eyes.  “I should lie down, I think.”

So Jack helped him lie back, stripping off his own jacket to slip under Mac’s head.  The kid lay there, muscles taut, body so tense Mac could’ve been spring loaded.  Jack sat down on the ground next to him, hose within reach.  

“All right.  Let’s wash out those baby blues.  Can you open your eyes for me, Mac?”

To his credit, the kid tried.  Like everything else he did, Mac put every ounce of heart and effort into prying his puffy eyelids open.  Jack caught the tiniest slit of glazed blue set against fiery red before Mac’s eyes clamped closed again.  Fresh tears, from pain or from the chemicals, leaked down the angry, reddened cheeks.  The shame in Mac’s voice hurt Jack almost as much as the sight of his partner in this much pain.

“I can’t.”

Jack closed his own eyes for the briefest of moments, steeling himself for what he was about to have to do.  The thought of inflicting more pain on Mac cut him to the very center of his being, but he knew that they’d already waited too long to start flushing the burns.  They couldn’t delay any longer, certainly not until the ambulance arrived.

“Okay,” Jack said, and he did his best to sound like he was in control of his own emotions, which he most certainly was not.  “I’m going to have to hold them open.”

Mac nodded, and Jack could tell by the way his jaw clenched that he was scared.  Jack moved quickly, well aware that if he didn’t throw himself into his task that he would lose the courage and resolve to do what needed to be done.  As gently as he could, Jack placed the palm of one hand on Mac’s burned forehead, and used his index and middle fingers to carefully pry Mac’s eyes open.

Mac hissed, his hands flying up instinctively to pull Jack away.  “Hey, hey, hey,” Jack soothed, and he used his other hand to swat Mac’s hands back down.  “I think it might be best if you sit on them, hoss.”

Mac levered his torso off the ground and wedged his hands behind his back, lowering his full weight onto them.  “Attaboy.”  Jack forced Mac’s eyelids up a bit more – the skin was hot to the touch, an iridescent shade of red, and incredibly swollen.  What lay underneath was far worse.  Mac’s irises, normally a vibrant cobalt, were dulled, almost filmy, and the whites of his eyes no longer existed - to Jack, stomach twisting uncomfortably, it looked as if the whites of Mac’s eyes had been peeled.  Every inch of surface area had turned bright red.  He looked like he was trying out for the part of Lord Voldemort.

As more of his eyes were exposed to the open air, a choked gurgling sound forced its way up Mac’s throat, and Jack thought for a terrible moment that he was going to be sick.  But instead, Mac just writhed, his legs kicking out helplessly against the pain, arm muscles bulging from the strain of trying to keep his hands beneath him.

Jack himself could barely see at this point through the tears in his own eyes.  He brushed them away, touched his free hand briefly in a fleeting moment of comfort against Mac’s cheek, then got to work.  He picked up the hose, which had been spewing water the whole time Jack had been prepping Mac, and had created a cool puddle beneath them.  Jack had barely realized that he was ass-deep in water.  He figured Mac hadn’t noticed at all.

Carefully, Jack placed his thumb in the middle of the stream of water, separating it into two smaller streams, which he directed as gingerly as possible into Mac’s eyes.  When the water hit, Mac howled, unable to contain himself and he thrashed on the ground, nearly dislodging Jack’s grip.

“Hey, now, brother,” Jack muttered, his own voice thick with emotion.  He did the only thing he could think of – he swivelled his legs around on top of Mac’s torso and applied pressure, holding the kid down.  He heard Mac’s breath hitch in panic, knew that he was probably miles away now, unaware of who was holding him down, pouring water onto his face.  He was in agony, restrained, and on the receiving end of a face full of cold water.  In their line of work, those three things combined usually only meant one thing: waterboarding.  Mac had only been waterboarded once, by a terror cell in Libya a couple of years ago, but that kind of thing was something you just didn’t get over.  You never truly got over torture of that nature.

Jack was crying now, but he continued to flush out Mac’s eyes, murmuring a string of mostly senseless reassurances, trying to remind himself that what he was doing was ultimately helping Mac, but he hated himself more with each second that passed.  Finally, after about five minutes, Mac began to calm, and Jack hoped that the water had begun to sooth.  But no – all of the tension suddenly drained from MacGyver’s body at once, and he went limp.

He’d passed out.  Thank God, he’d passed out.

Two minutes later, the Phoenix ambulance screamed into the lot.  Mac was placed on a stretcher, and Jack climbed up in the back of the bus with him.  He stayed out of the way, watching the medics work, using clamps to keep Mac’s eyes open and applying a constant, steady stream of saline.  While one medic did this, another began to wash the chemical burns on Mac’s cheeks, forehead, and nose.

The entire ride back to Phoenix, Jack alternated between watching his kid and glaring at his hands.  He despised his hands for what they’d done to Mac, what they’d put him through.

Who was he kidding?  His hands were just the tools he’d used to torture his best friend.

What Jack truly despised was himself.

***

When Mac awoke, it was to a blurry hospital room – probably Phoenix, if he had to guess – comprised of vague approximations of shapes and colors.  His eyes felt like they’d been pulsed in a blender – raw and painful and cut to shreds.  He closed them, but that didn’t take away the discomfort.  It took him a moment to remember what had led him here in the first place, but when everything came back to him, his eyes snapped open with panic, and his upper body surged up in bed.

Immediately, a strong hand was on his chest and though Mac could only see a fuzzy caricature of its owner, he knew without doubt it was Jack.

“Hey, Mac, you’re all right,” Jack said, and it sounded to Mac like his partner was trying to calm a crying child or a lost pet.

Mac allowed himself to be eased back onto his pillow, but the fear running through him was like live wires.  “Jack,” he rasped.  His throat burned, and he didn’t know if it was because of the screaming, or if he’d gotten a little of the drain cleaner in his mouth.  He prayed it was the former.  “I can’t see!”

Jack’s voice had a restrained quality to it when he spoke, like he was just keeping himself from falling off of a very steep ledge, and Mac heard the squeak of a chair, saw the blurred figure that had been looming over him lower itself down.  “What do you mean, you can’t see?”  Each word was carefully measured.  Jack was trying not to panic himself, which only made Mac panic more.

“The whole world is just colors and shapes, Jack!  I can’t make out anything clearly.”  

To his surprise, a relieved laugh exploded from Jack’s direction.  The hand was back, this time squeezing his shoulder.  “Doc said that’s normal, Mac.  Said your vision should come back in time, if you weren’t completely blind – thank God you’re not!  From her examination, she said that we treated it in time to avoid major scarring or reformation.”

Mac, heart slowing down to a more normal rhythm, relief cascading over him like a summer rain, barely caught Jack’s mispronunciation.  Almost.  “Do you mean perforation?”  Half the time, Mac couldn’t tell if Jack messed up words on purpose just to get a rise out of him, or if he really did get words mixed up on the regular.  Either way, it had become a part of their natural rhythm, one of the little quirks of their relationship, and after all he’d been through, correcting Jack felt a little bit like coming home.

Mac allowed his body to relax into the bed a little more and did a quick self-assessment.  He came to the conclusion that he wasn’t in nearly as much pain as he should have been.  “Am I on drugs?” he asked, only now realizing that his head felt floaty, his limbs like noodles.

“Oh, yeah.  You were given a shot of morphine, but they’re gonna switch you to hydros now that you’re awake.  And you’re on a strong antibiotic to fight off infection, and Doc poured about an ocean’s worth of eye drops in your eyeballs.”

Mac allowed his eyelids to drop; his eyes still felt swollen, and the burning had increased, though that could have just been exhaustion, the pull of the drugs.

“Hey, man, I know you need to sleep, but can I say somethin’ real quick?”

Mac opened his eyes again, concern rising in him at the seriousness in Jack’s voice.  “What’s up?”

A pregnant pause.  Then, Jack Normally-So-Good-At-Speaking-His-Mind Dalton stuttered out, “I… I – well, shit, man.  I’m so sorry.”

Mac blinked, then wished he hadn’t, because it felt like he’d just given his eyes a good scrub with sandpaper.  “Sorry?  What for?”

“For what I put you through.  Hell, kid, I might as well have been torturing you.”

Ah.  So Jack was feeling guilty about the lengths he’d had to go to to treat Mac’s eyes.  If Mac hadn’t been on drugs, he probably would have predicted this sooner.

Mac fought through the tiredness that seemed to drag his body downwards into the surprisingly comfortable hospital bed and looked Jack in the eye, or at least where he guessed Jack’s eyes would be.  “You did what you had to, Jack, and it is nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Mac, if you’d’a heard you…”

“I was there, Jack.  I had a front-row seat, remember?  I was out of my head with pain anyway.  When you started flushing the burns, I think I detached from reality completely.  Went back… remembered – things.”  He shook himself mentally, then pressed on, his voice as strong as he could make it, imploring, desperate for Jack to understand.  “But none of that is your fault.  None of that is your doing.  You almost certainly saved my vision.”  It hit him then, the realization that if it hadn’t been for Jack’s treatment, he would have been helpless to perform first aid on himself.  It hadn’t been for Jack’s strength and resolve, his ability to inflict pain on his partner and closest friend in order to treat his wounds, Mac would be blind right now.  Most likely forever.

Mac’s next words shook with emotion.  “It’s because of you that I can see, Jack.  You have a strength I can’t even pretend to understand.  You shouldn’t be apologizing to me!  I should be thanking you.”  A pause.  “So thank you for what you did, Jack.  Thank you so much.”

A tear burned down his face.  He blamed it on the trauma, on the drugs.  He reached out his hand in Jack’s direction, and immediately, that warm, familiar grip wrapped itself around it.  “I’d do anything for you,” Jack said gruffly.  

“I know, big guy.  Thank you.”

Jack’s hand squeezed his own.  “Get some sleep kid.  I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Mac squeezed back, then let his eyes slip closed.  

Jack didn’t let go of his hand, and when Mac did wake up to clearer vision and a lighter heart, Jack was the first person that he saw.  Just as he’d promised, Jack hadn’t left his side.

But then again, Jack never did.  

[jxneun]

[one-shot] say nothing more, baby

Pairing: implied Yamato/Taichi from Digimon Adventure 

Rating: pg-13, tw: Character death, Hanahaki disease

fic inspiration from the song “like i need u” by keshi.

—

laying in bed waiting for your touch

Restless, tossing and turning

in the dead of the night, ears ringing

stay with me

nauseous, dizzy

eyes growing misty

i don’t want to be alone

filled with regret

wanting to reset

you don’t need me like i need you

yellow carnations bloomed,

these unwanted feelings consumed

wish we never met

left the boy torn, dragged through the mud

petals tainted by splotches of blood

pain, that’s an option

an inevitable infection

trauma inflicted on the destined

—

Yamato Ishida was stunned.

Lost in the confines of Tokyo U Hospital, the blonde felt lost in the eerie feeling the sterile white walls gave. Takeru was by his side when he received the call from Hikari. Speechless, with his lungs threatening to collapse after running into the unfamiliar building, especially upon hearing the news from his best friend’s little sister, whose voice was hoarse on the phone and reduced to mere whispers, as if she had just mustered up the strength to speak on the phone after sobbing relentlessly, informed them that his best friend was in the hospital.

His best friend, Taichi.

His partner-in-crime aside from Gabumon, his comrade, his best friend, his inspiration.

His exuberance, a demeanor akin to no other, shined brighter than a thousand suns. His smiles and laughter imprinted in his memory, alongside the desperately thrown fists and tears, reminded him of home.

For a disease that is allegedly produced in fictional Japanese literature, a disease that is observed to have been a direct result of unrequited love. The physical manifestation of the psychological pain, exacerbated further by heartache, was akin to somatoform disorders, but the disease had limited primary research findings on it as to the origin of the disease. Perhaps, this just served as a cruel reminder that God ceased to care. 

Hanahaki disease, a disease ultimately caused from prolonged and extreme pain as a direct result of grieving a lost, unreturned love; painfully beautiful, it was equally fatal, with patients dying within mere days. Going from perfectly healthy, to frail and on the verge of death, all from an unreciprocated love. . 

Hikari found out, after finding Taichi collapsed in his room in the late afternoon, with blood and petals left at the scene. Next to him, was the referral from the doctor’s.

Prognosis: severe case of alleged Hanahaki disease.

Duration: onset of disease, 2 weeks with the patient remaining mostly asymptomatic. Flareup occurred on March 4.

Symptoms: Coughing, blood in sputum, dizziness, nausea, fever, mood swings

Condition of patient: requires immediate treatment as soon as possible. Dr. Narukami M.D. at Odaiba General Family Clinic referral to Tokyo U Hospital. Immediate surgery recommended within 1 week, otherwise proven fatal, may result in asphyxiation due to uncontrolled growth of yellow carnations in lungs.

It was a cruel reminder, that fate was never on their side.

They were chosen as children to be the Digidestined, thrown into the Digi World; they were merely children whose clothes were far too big for them, children whose appetites exceeded their stomach capacity, children who were burdened and pressured as result of their parents’ problems and the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Feeble attempts to return to their world, turned into a mission to save both the Digi World and their world. Achieving the impossible, such as going through worlds via portals or a digital device to fight infected Digimon served as a reminder that in their world, the impossible could very easily be feasible. Taichi was resilient, he was a natural born leader. He was an athlete, his immune system stronger than no other, his appetite overwhelmingly large as a growing boy, his demeanor and boisterous laughter so full of life.

Yet, Yamato could not help feeling shocked.

Pale, with a weary smile that masked the pain, Taichi appeared sick, decrepit, and so, exhausted. Feeble attempts to muster up greetings, and reassurances to not worry, since he felt fine, and that he had accepted the outcome. The outcome that his love had not returned his feelings, the love whose identity remained unknown to Yamato. It was too late for preventative care, Taichi had refused to come in for early checkups, and the buds had sprouted into fully grown, beautiful carnations. Carnations that were equally deadly, unfortunate, and tragic.

A mixture of resentment, bitterness, mirth and frustration bubbled in his chest. Yamato was puzzled. Who could Taichi possibly be so in love with, that his love had left him incapacitated? Who would not return their feelings for the brunette boy? Shaking his head, Yamato recollected himself, but his thoughts were interrupted by a series of coughs.

If he did not know that Hanahaki disease was not contagious, he would have thought the persistent scratch and gnawing at his throat was a sign.

The image of Taichi laying in his hospital bed was burnt into his memory, as he quickly was escorted out of the room. One of Taichi’s coughing fits had erupted, so Hikari and Takeru quickly rushed out into the hallway to call the nurse. With blood staining the corners of his mouth, and full blown flowers blooming, Yamato could never forget the image imprinted into his memory of the boy who was reminiscent of courage, ambition, and hope. The stems and leaves filled his esophagus, the sprouts depleted his already limited air supply, and petals covered by blood and bile filled the bucket next to his bed; the damage had clearly taken a toll on the boy, and fast. The nurses escorted Yamato out, reuniting him with Takeru and Hikari, who were lucky to not witness the emptiness in Taichi’s eyes, almost as if he had expected this outcome, but did not let anybody know, due to his stubbornness. Taichi, whose voice was painfully hoarse, made feeble attempts to speak to Yamato, despite his earlier coughing fits. Yet, the following words he muttered left Yamato in an intense flurry of emotions,

“Yamato, please go.”

—

Patient ID: 4242564

DOB: 05/19/19XX

Patient Name: Yagami, Taichi

Diagnosis: Hanahaki Disease

Treatment: Immediate surgery to restore respiratory functioning. Requires removal of yellow carnation flowers from lungs, which are constricting air supply.

Expected recovery: If successful, 7-8 months with rest, close monitoring from family members in case of flare ups.

The paper that Hikari was holding, despite being a thin sheet with printed letters, felt like a quick dose of reality. Hikari called her parents, giving them updates, and the address of the surgery unit. Her parents, frantic and deeply afraid, just as they were when they heard that the kids were returning to the Digital World as mere children, had a semblance of hope amidst their worries. They wanted to put their trust and faith into the medical professionals at the highly-esteemed hospital.

They had giant digital dinosaurs and birds appear in Odaiba. How far-fetched was this disease occurring in their world, really?

Yamato felt torn. Usually, the two were able to communicate non-verbally; after all, Taichi wore his heart on his sleeve. Yet, this time, he simply could not understand. He did not even know that Taichi even loved someone, to the point where he had secretly gone to the doctor's and hid the fact that he needed immediate medical attention. He endured the pain to the point that Hikari had found him cold and lifeless on the floor with the petals scattered around him; the thought of the flowers taunted him, and reminded him of his friend, whose demeanor was untypical of the brunette. The unspoken communication between them bewildered Yamato, and scared him.

Knuckles growing white, his tight grip crumpled and threatened to rip the sheet of paper. Jaw clenched, tears threatening to spill, Yamato was so tense, and furious that the world was against them, and had decided to hurt his friend, his formerly abrasive and reckless friend whose compassion and courage had saved hundreds, if not thousands of people. His friend, whose stubborn nature, was easily just as self-sacrificing and selfless, had demanded his best friend to leave the room, so that he would not have to see him in that state.

With a mirthful chuckle, Yamato wiped away at his tears, which threatened to spill at any given moment. His vision was blurry, and the noise coming from the bustling hospital was deafening. Bitterly, he thought to himself, denouncing the way that movies portrayed grief. His world of color did not come to a halt; traffic lights beamed, and the city of Tokyo was still lively as ever. His world of color, instead was muted, and it was difficult to concentrate on anything. He had dropped everything he was doing, when he received the call from Hikari. He couldn’t stop thinking about Taichi, and his bleary eyes, raw from the hours of crying in the waiting room, failed to shield him from his obstructive thoughts in facing this cruel reality. Hikari was sobbing, almost hysterical. Takeru comforted her, holding her closely, his tight embrace and face buried in her shoulders indicator enough that he was just as distraught. Taichi’s parents rushed into the emergency room, demanding to be at their eldest son’s side. Demanding answers, the duo were frustrated, as to why there were no other forms of treatment, or medication.

To this, the nurses shook their head, despite the couple’s insistence. Taichi was transferred to the intensive care unit of the Tokyo U hospital, and the nurses informed the Yagamis: Taichi, in an unconscious state, is physically unable to consent to the procedure. It was up to the Yagami family to decide whether they should proceed or not. The implications of the surgery was that Taichi would possibly never be the same afterwards, his lungs were salvageable, but his memories would be in fragments.

With such an intrusive procedure, it was difficult to tell how Taichi’s body would heal afterwards, or if he had a strong chance of surviving it. Yet at the same time, this was life-or-death. Hikari, after maintaining her composure, softly asked the questions everyone was thinking,

“Could we please see him? Will he be okay?”

This was all because of deceivingly harmless yellow carnations. His louder-than-life friend, who effortlessly ran from goal to goal and led his football team to victory, was the same person who passionately sprinted across the Digital World to save his friends; this same person looked unrecognizable, frail, and passive. All because of some flowers.

Yellow carnations, the flowers representative of rejection, bitterness, an unrequited love, are simultaneously considered the flower of friendship.

As if time went still, the low-light fluorescent fixtures of the hospital building and the vision of the Yagami family and his brother grew hazy. Yamato felt a sharp, sudden pain in his chest. Unable to hide the discomfort on his face, he excused himself as to not worry the others.

In the restroom, even with the dim lighting, the scene before him was unmistakable. 

Orange petals accumulated in the sink, and he was left breathless.

After a quick google search, he realized the cluster of orange petals consisted of marigolds. Marigolds symbolized strong passion, being associated with a legendary brave and courageous lion. 

At the same time, they represented cruelty, grief, and jealousy. How ironic.

Fate really was mocking him.

—

no time for nonsense

courage and friendship

a will weaning, weaker than his grip

can’t ask you nothing

grip on this fate

a fate he realized too late

drank, feeling nauseous

Scared and breathless

Oh, he could never guess

too many toxins

to the last beeps on the monitor, the angels sing

yet, what’s left is this scratchy, lingering sting

not even conscious

sheets blood-stained red

regret, from words left unsaid

say nothing more, baby

unvoiced emotions which undoubtedly dictate

the harsh decisions made at this rate

say nothing more 

[aishabby02]

Love as its Darkest| O1

➳ Sammury: You were a nursing student. Your life was barely just starting. One day you get an unexpected visit in school that turns your world upside down. Your life was full of lies and you were going to find out in the worst possible ways.

➳ Paring: Reader/Jungkook, Reader/Taehyung, BTS/Reader—not in a romantic way

➳ Genre: Future Agst, Future smut, violence, gang ralated stuff, fluff, death

➳ Tags: Bts!mafia, Jungkook!mafia au, Taehyung!mafia, forced-marriage, Mafia leader brother-Jimin, BTS OT7, Exo members

➳ A/N: Heyy guys, this is my first written story. I hope you guys like it. I already have the next chapter written. I’ll see how this one goes and I’ll post the next one. It might have a few grammatical errors for English it’s not my first language. Please bare with me lol & always remember that these characters are fictional. I DONOT in any way think the members would ever act this way. 🥰❤️ thanks xoxoxo———————————————————————

You were sitting in your Health Assessment class, paying close attention to your teacher as he talks more in depth about the study-guide for your upcoming exam. You were relieved that it was your last class of the day. It was your 3rd quarter of nursing school and you were extremely exhausted.

You often wondered and worried on how you were going to pull all the way through. Maybe you were just being selfish, as all you have to do was study and focus on school, while others have to do the same, plus work a full time job to pay their classes. You’ve been raised with a silver spoon and have no idea of what it’s really a struggle to get what you want without the help of others.

Your father died when your mother was pregnant of you in a tragic car accident, so you never got the chance to meet him. However, God has blessed you with a wonderful step-father that has raised you since you were 3 years old. When your mother remarried, your mom, older brother and you moved over to Korea because that’s were your step-father lived. So Korea is all you know.

Your parents have provided you everything since you can remember, but you wanted to be independent. You wanted to travel and see what’s out there in other countries.

You always knew since you were little you wanted to be in the medical field. You just didn’t know what type of occupation in the medical field you wanted to do. So you thought nursing should be a good start, until you get more familiarized in the field and figure out what you really want to do.

————————————————————

You were paying attention to your teacher when the dean of the school entered the class.

“Professor Choi, do you happened to have Ms. Park Y/N with you?” the dean of the school asked. Your professor walked to her with an annoyed face and answered. “Yes, I do. However, my class is about to end in a few minutes. If you don’t mind I would like for Ms. Park to finished the class, for it’s really important for her to hear the whole review for the upcoming exam.”

You sat there not knowing what to do. You knew you didn’t want to miss anything from the review, but you were also wondering why would the dean of the school wanted to see you.

The dean of the school looked at your teacher and frown, and while shaking her head answer “I’m afraid not, this is urgent.” With that your teacher looked at you and spoked. “You heard the lady Ms. Park.”

With that you hurriedly clean your stuff off your desk and put all your belongings in your book-back. While you were putting everything away your friend Seulbi told you not to worried because she has been recording the whole class and once the class is done she’ll send you the recording. You looked at her with a smile and whisper a “thank you”.

You quietly fallowed the dean to her office. When you guys got into her office you were extremely surprised to see your brother there. If he was here personally something bad must have happened.

With wide eyes and a worried face you ask your brother what was he doing here. “Oppa, why are you here?”

He looks at you with a sad expression and tells you “Y/N, sweetheart we need to talk.”

Your heart starts to pound loudly in your chest. If the fact that your brother himself was actually here to tell you this, had you nervous, seeing his sad expression had you waiting for the worst.

The dean of the school softly cough. “I’ll be outside if you guys need anything.” You look at her leave and than focused on your brother.

Your brother patted the seat beside him and you slowly walked and sat next to him. You can tell your brother was nervous, and that puts you more on edge. The fact that he was dragging this, made you ever more anxious.

“Jesus, Jimin fucking speak already. Your killing me here!” you shouted.

He looked at you and spoke softly. “Y/N, something horrible has happened.”

You scoffed. “No shit, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Stop dragging it, and just say whatever it is.”

Jimin sat there looking at you. On the ride there he was thinking on how to tell you this . He made up his mind that the best way to do it was to tell you right away and not beat around the bushes. But seeing you here in front of him and thinking on how this is going to break you, had him doubting wether he can actually have the courage to tell you or not. You were the most important person to him in this entire world and he would do anything in this world to spare you from any sadness, but this was unavoidable.

He finally spoke at the edge of tears “Y/N, i-it’s mom and dad, they h-have...” Jimin runs a hand through his hair. Fuck. This was so hard for him to do.

You were so anxious and worried on what the hell he was trying to say, that you put your hands on his shoulder and gently shaked him. “Jimin, please just tell me whatever it is. I’m stressing out and your not making anything better.”

He just got up and hug you tightly, while whispering “Mom and Dad has p-passed away, I’m sorry.”

You felt like a whole bucket of iced cold water has been dropped on you. Your whole entire body shaking. You can’t believe this. No. Jimin has to be lying. Your parents were perfectly find this morning.

“Y-you’re lying, please Jimin tell me you are lying!” you shouted, your eyes boiling with tears as you imagine the slightest possibility of this being true.

Jimin’s heart ache, if the news of his parents death killed him inside, the scene before his eyes shatter his heart in a million pieces. But he wanted, no needed to be strong for you.

“ No Y/N it’s true, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’m so so sorry..” he hugged you tightly while crying. You felt like your whole world has come crushing down. You can’t accept the fact that your parents will no longer be there for you.

“O-oh my God...” you cried hysterically while pulling on Jimin’s shirt “ P-please Jimin... that can’t be true.” You started pacing around the room like a crazy person.

“I-I just had breakfast with them this morning.”

Jimin went up to you and hold you in place. “I know Y/N. It was an accident”. You looked at him in denial.

No! You refused to believe that God would take your parents away. Even so, In another accident, wasn’t he happy of taking your biological father away the same way? You couldn’t deal with all the different emotions you were feeling. You just wanted to get out of there and hide away forever and cried until you die. The thought of not having your parents around, makes you cry in agony. The scene playing in your mind of them not seeing you graduate, as it was their dream, makes your heart contrast with pain. It was too much for you and Jimin knew it.

He got closed to you and spoked softly “lets go home.” You didn’t even heard what he said, you body was physically there but your mind and soul were elsewhere. Jimin just gently push you out of the school.

The ride home was quiet. Jimin and the driver haven’t said a word. As the car enters Jimin’s mansion and comes to a stop, Jimin helps you out of the car.

“Y/N sweetheart, have you eaten anything?” you look at your brother like he has three heads. He can’t be fucking serious. Our parents just die and he worries about if I have eaten something. How can he be so fucking calm about this.

“Jimin, I want to be alone.” You replied.

“I know Y/N, but you need to eat something.” He said while rubbing your back.

“No! Jimin I don’t. My parents just fucking die. OUR PARENTS!! H-honestly I don’t know how you are so calm about it, but the last thing in my mind right now is eating. I honestly just want to fucking die!” you shout while sobbing.

Jimin was taken aback. You never shout at him but he knew that you weren’t in your right mind right now. So he just told one of the maids to set a room up for you.

“Don’t fucking say that Y/N. Our parents death broke me but you need me and I need to be strong for you.” he said while holding the urge to cry for your sake.

You looked at him and just started crying even more. It’s not his fault and honestly you are taking all of this out on him and it’s not fair. After all, your brother has always and will always be there for you. He is all you’ve got now.

You spoke in between sobs. “ I-I’m sorry oppa.” you wiped your tears of your face. “I just can’t believe t-this, and it’s not fair to you.” You said. Jimin just nodded and told you that everything will be fine. He than told you to go and rest for a little bit. That he will check up on you in a few hours. You agreed and follow the maid to your new supposed bedroom.

Once you got to the room you started screaming, crying, swinging, everything possible to take these feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment away. You did so until you felt asleep out of exhaustion.

At the other end of the house Jimin was in his office. When he got there and knew he was alone. He just broke down and started crying. He was holding it in for you, but he can no longer keep it inside. He was crying, while he heard a knock on the door.

He wiped his tears away and cleared his throat. “Yes, who is it? I wish to not be bothered right now.” He said in a low tone.

On the other side of the door a woman answered. “It’s me baby, please let me be with you through this. Open this door Jimin.”

As soon as Jimin heard the woman’s voice he ran to the door. He open the door and hug her tightly, so tightly that the woman complained in pain. “Ahh.. J-Jimin baby your hurting me.” He slowly let go of her.

“I’m sorry baby, I-I just… you are the only person who I can break down like this with.” He said while crying. Hannah simply looked at him softly and kissed him were his tears have been. Hanna was Jimin’s girlfriend. They have been together for 4 years.

“I know baby, I’m here for you.” she said while hugging him tightly. They were like this for a while. Until Hannah spoke. “How is Y/N taking this?”

He looked away and stared at the window. “How do you think, she is fucking broken… I-I can deal with this, I don’t care if I hurt…b-but seeing her like that kills me inside.”

Hannah simply nodded. She knew you were the most important person to him and you were precious to him. She was more worried about what Jimin was going to do about what has happened, than what is going on right now. She spoked softly. “I know baby, it will take some time for her to heal, for you as well. But she was more attached to them, since she was still living with them.” She took a short breath before asking. “What will you do about this Jimin, I’m fucking worried sick about you? T-the guys are too.”

Jimin sigh deeply. He has cried it out, this pain will never fade, but he has to learn to adapt to it. But now it’s time to put this aside and deal with what has really happened to your parents. Jimin didn’t want to tell you that your parents were murder because you were not aware of your family business and he wanted to keep it that way. You were so innocent, so not part of this type of life, that he wishes you never learned about it. Your stepfather was the leader of one out of the 3 biggest and more respected and feared gangs in Seoul. Jimin being his son has now gain that title.

Jimin has being in the mafia with his stepfather since he was 12, so he knew that eventually something like this could happened were he would be passed down the title as the leader of Bloodhounds. He never thought this would happened though, he never saw the death of your parents coming.

He spoked in a low tone “Hannah, I need you to do me a favor.”

She simply nodded and asked him right away what was it. He then answered “Call all the members and tell them we are going to have an urgent meeting.” She knew this was not a good sign but regardless she agreed and did as she was told.

[alittlealien007]

This is a, uhh, rant from a person who cannot sleep because not everyone is blessed with the ability to sleep when needed.

I can't sleep. It's not like I can sleep normally. Obviously, I can't. That's the kind of fun (read: insomniac and depressed and medicated) life I live. Anyway, I'm having a serious post series withdrawal after watching Touch Your Heart which is adding to my I-can't-sleep thoughts. While thinking about Lee Dong Wook's character, Kwon Jung Rok, and how much I'm probably in love with him because I really fall hard for fictional characters (hello, Gabriel from LJ Smith's Dark Visions; I love him so freaking much, I told the books' story, point-by-point, from memory to my cousins after reading them once; I have an okay to good memory, but did I burn every scene of those books in my memories, and I haven't forgotten Gabriel since - a character from my own unfinished novel series is actually roughly based on him. Heh.), I was reminded of my other fictional Kdrama crush that made me crush hard on the actor as well. (This is related-ish because I think I'm having a crush on LDW even though I never really had a crush on him before. I know he's handsome and all, and I did ship him a lot with Park Bom when Roommate was airing, but that was pretty much it.)

Drum roll please - it's Kim Nam Gil's Bidam from The Great Queen Seon Deok. I had a huge crush on KNG, that I was literally in tears after watching his very questionable (read: salacious) movies prior this Kdrama because 10 years ago, I was just a pure child who wants my crush to be pure as well (we can all laugh now). And was in more tears, I'm practically drowning, when he announced his military enlistment. I even swore I'll wait for him to be discharged.

And I did wait... for a year at least. After that my fangirl heart decided to move on because hello I'm a fangirl through and through, and I'm also easily distracted. While I do fall hard for characters I like, it sometimes hurt bad whenever I realize the actuality that they don't exist irl which means I can't even really root for them and watch them from afar (this reality was another inspiration for writing another unfinished novel. Gahd, I'm good at plots and starting weird stories but really bad at finishing them, huh.), I really like the part where I can move on pretty easily or relatively easy. I mean, I did have a huge continuous crush on KNG for about 2 years (and while I do have an impressive (it is impressive, methinks) more-than-a-decade crush on Kim Jaejoong and more-than-two decades-practically-my-whole-life crush to very serious admiration and adoration for Jackie Chan, I will be honest and say those emotions were not continous because hello we live in a world of entertainment and general sadness so we're kinda forced to choose between facing or escaping our realities in order to deal. As an escapist at heart, I chose escapism so I end up liking a lot of things. It's not a good choice, but it lets me survive.), and I think that's a feat. Anyway, this also reminded me of a promise I made that when I find out KNG is getting married, I will drink a bucket of beer even though I don't drink beer to lament his getting hitched and celebrate it as well. And from that I made the same promise for Jaejoong's own marriage (yes, it's not a good thing to promise, but let us all be weird in our own ways without harming anyone).

After being reminded of my past feelings, I went to YT to search for this specific Seon Deok x Bidam video that I used to watch about ten years ago, and apparently it can still make me cry so bad I started wishing there's an alternate universe where those characters had a happy ending. It turns out even though I've moved on from my KNG crush, I still have not move on from my Bidam crush. Again, world, why isn't Bidam real? Asking for a friend.

P.P.P.S. I just thought of something. Did I really cry again because of Bidam or was it tears for the past me that I lost? On the other hand, my past memories reminded me that even then, I was already looking for "me" so I didn't lose me after that; I lost me way way way back. When? I have zero idea.

P.S. I write weird shit when at the brink of getting sleepy.

P.P.S. I met Anggun because of the background song "Want you to want me" which makes this video more memorable.

P.P.P.P.S. I should sleep. I'm getting more nuts by the second.