#cyborg got to be so cool in this movie too which was awesome. the justice league is SO lucky to have him lol

[gothamcityneedsme]

HI THE RWBY X JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD

[simply-ellas-stuff]

My thoughts on Zack Snyder's Justice League because I watched it

The opening sequence, bc even tho the repeated scream audio was stuipid this opening was better

The new meeting between batman and Aquaman - that drawing on the wall in the og was unnecessary

Diana's extra badassery

The design of Stephen Wolf, because now he actually looks scaryish

The Queens emotions about losing her sisters of Themyscira - QUEENS DON'T JUST SEND THEIR PEOPLE INTO BATTLE EMOTIONLESSLY THESE SCENES WERE NEEDED - FUCK

THE BIGGER WITH IN THEMYSCIRA WHY THE FUCK DID THEY CUT THAT OUT?! - oh right, its because the previous director is sexist as fuck,

Stephen Wolf's Daddy Issues because that's fucking hilarious

Bruce explaining his want to find everyone bc of his promise

The close up on the fly things because that actually made it scary

THE FUCKING LIGHTING CEREMONY IN THEMESCERIA HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT

Diana's extra badassery after getting the Arrow because WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT CUT?! This explains SO MUCH about how Diana knows SO MUCH about a time she wasn't alive in and I have NO FUCKING CLUE why it was cut!?

Arthur Curry is a Stripper - Confirmed!

Arthur and his trainer talking, but idfk why they kept the bubble thing Although I do like that they clarify that it's not just Mera who can do that bubble thingy

The scene between Stephen Wolf and the stone-wall dude person was cool and it explained why Stephen Wolf was so desperate

Zeus, Ares, and Artemis prepped for battle along with Poseidon in the flashback was FUCKING AWESOME!!! Diana's Aunt as well, the shows of the Green Lanterns, and the ring returning to the planet [Although they should've named Artemis, bc she can easily be mistaken for Athena - Also; Artemis' roman equivalent in the goddess Diana ]

Darkseid being in the flashback, which explains a lot

The Gods vs Darkseid was FUCKING AWESOME

Barry's awkward rambling after running into Iris

ALSO IRIS FUCKING WEST!!!

The Big Belly Burger Reference, nicely done

My dad says Iris' car is beautiful

BARRY SAVED IRIS BITCHES

The slow-mo crash gave me anxiety

My dad says, "I know you got all the time in the world but c'mon this is ridiculous" about that scene then "That beautiful car..."

THE SCENE WITH STEPHEN WOLF AND THE ALTLANTIAN MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK DID STEPHEN WOLF KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOTHER BOX IN ATLANTIS

Do. Not. Make. Diana. And. Bruce. Romantic. Don't. Fucking. Do. It.

The use of slow-mo is kind of redundant

Victor being fucking AMAZING even tho he's getting in trouble at school

Victor and Mama's discussion gives some life to the 2-Dlike Cyborg from the og movie, WHY THE FUCK WAS IT CUT?!

Victor's inner-world where he's still fully human

Barry being sarcastic as fuck towards his father lmfao

"Very attractive Jewish boy"

The reference to Grodd YAAAAAAAS

I still hate that Barry's lightning is blue and not red

The explanation of the Speedforce and Snacks

"What are your super powers again?" "I'm Rich" Still one of the best lines

I love Diana's shirt in the scene with Alfred

"Looks like you have a date, Ms. Prince" lmfao - Unless his name is Steve, I doubt it

I feel like Victor and Diana would be a good brother/sister duo, ngl

Burying the fucking box at your mothers grave was the stupidest shit I have ever fucking seen Victor.

COMMISIONER GORDON HELL YES

Barry's utter fail at being normal around Diana

The underwater click-like dolphin speak was cool, but still kinda dumb knowing that later Aquaman speaks underwater just fine - ngl

Nice Liquidkinetics, Mera. Amber you're still a cunt.

Also, Mera says her parents died - Wasn't her father alive in Aquaman??

Victor seeing the bat-signal explains how he knew how to find them, honest

The badass entry of Bruce, Diana, and Barry makes me laugh

Barry is far too close to Bruce

Victor scared Barry LMFAOOOO

If Victor's father is the head of STAR Labs where the fuck is Harrison Wells?????

THEY LEFT BARRY BEHIND, ASSHOLES

Diana's annoyance at Barry running ahead is such a Mom thing

Stephen using the bug thing makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Diana trying to make a plan and it getting ruined fits with the exasperated Mom theme she's got going on.

THE SONG HEN DIANA GOES AGAINST STEPHEN WOLF, THE FUCKING VOCALS ALONG MAKE ME HYPE AS SHIIIIIIIIT

"I Belong To No One" I FUCKING LOVE IT

HEEEEEEEEELL of a push Barry lmfaooo

"Thank you Alfred" "Don't mention it" Mans is bored of your shit

"Sword Lady" LMFAOOOOOOO

Diana's x-move thing against Stephen Wolf YAAAAAAAAS BITCH

Diana saving Barry's ass - Accurate!

Victor taking over the Crawler makes more sense this way, honest

OKAY YOU AN ACTUALLY SEE AQUAMAN IN THE WATER AND IT MAKES IT MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE

That jump onto the crawler was smooth as fuck Diana!

Stephen Wolf getting visions from the boxes also explains a lot about some shit

"I know the requirements, I wrote them" Suuuuuuubtle lmfaoo

Victor brining the box them also fits better

Why is this Stone looking mother fucker speaking Latin?

Hello Darkseid, you look particularly dramatic this evening

Victor's explaining how he knows about the box makes a lot of sense, why was this cut again??

Actually explaining the fucking Mother Box was Helpful

Mrs. Kent and Lois having a heart to heart holy shiiiit

Martha talking about how Clark's death was drowned out by Superman's - wooow

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH MARTHA'S EYES IS THAT J'ONN J'ONZZ?! THATS THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER HOLY FUCK IT'S J'ONN J'ONZZ

Ironic that Ezra-Flash's hero is Superman while Grant Gustin's hero is superman lmfao

Diana and Arthur chatting was cute, the quote was awesome and the Atlantians totally copped that quote from the Amazonians

Alfred being a sarcastic fuck is my favorite

Alfred being the voice of reason, as always

Arthur helping Barry pick a hat is AMAZING

Diana telling the boys to change, mom or big sister?? lmfaoo

Barry's social awkwardness gives me second hand embarrassment

This little infiltration arc makes SO MUCH more fucking sense

Every one being suited up and triggering the alarm is amazing

Mr. Stone fucking trusting his son is my faaaaaavorite

THE SUITS ACTIVATED AND CAME OUT WHEN CLARK WAS MOVED PAST THEM DUDE WTF

IS LOIS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Barry looks like he's about to throw up

BARRY HAS ALREADY TIME TRAVELLED THAT LINE SHOULDVE BEEN KEPT IN

Arthur being antsy about not doing the resurrection makes so much sense

VICTOR SEEING A POSSIBLE FUTURE IS THE BEST SHIT

I love vision-Diana's Norse burial

EVIL VISION-SUPERMAN DUDE CMON

THE MISUNDERSTANDING MAKES THIS WORSE AND BETTER AT THE SAME TIME

HE REVERSED TIME WHEN HE RESURRECTED SUPERMAN WHAAAAAAAAT

The Military arriving was a sensible addition

The fancy ass dramatic ass arrival of Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg when Superman gets to the monument is hilarious

Victor loosing control is the woooooorst

The Lasso of Truth almost got through to him but he's a stubborn fuck

Superman functioning in Flashtime is something I will never understand

Yeah lets shoot at the guy whose indestructible, right

"you should probably move" LMFAOOOO

Batman v. Superman part 2 insert eye roll here

headbutts like children - and that's cheating on the playground Clark.

Heat vision makes so much more sense than "do you bleed?"

Lois coming in cluuuuutch

I like Lois' appearance better than Alfred bringing her, it fits Lois better

Arthur and Barry now have rivalry lmfaooo

Mr. Stone being obsessed with the mother box is annoying as fuck

Mr. Stone is an idiot and he should've fucking left the box alone

That was a horrible death why was that necessary?!

Arthur being a pessimist in this movie is honestly hilarious, tho why is he anti-love??

Barry being surprised at Batman's richness is never not funny

"I'll take that as a yes" okay Clark, don't show off

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

"Its really me Ma" Best scene of the whole fucking movie

Barry and Arthur heart-to -heart "I thought you didn't car" "I never said that" BUILD THIS FRIENDSHIP

BRUCE TELLS DIANA OF THE VISION

Bruce talking about faith never bodes well

THE QUEEN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL

"uh with the power of love" "Barry" LMFAOOOOOO

THE KRYPTONIAN SUITS LOOK AMAZING

Since when does Superman have Geokinesis??

I LOVE HOW BOTH OF HIS FATHERS ARE TALKING TO HIM I FUCKING LOVE IT

THE SUIT UP SCENE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT LOOKS AWESOME

"just have to knock a little louder" Well, that's one way to knock Bruce

Nice crash boy

Straight up sounded like "Loud and queer" lmfaoooo

Diana leading the teeeeeeeaaaam Hell Yes!

I do miss the "I think we're all gonna die" lasso-Arthur scene tho. it was stupid - but funny.

DIANA COMING IN FOR THAT SLICE AND DICE BAYBEEEEY

THE TEAM SHOOOOT YES totally taken from Marvel but fuck did it look good

"you really are out of your mind" says the idiot who talks to fish

"not done yet" vs "your welcome" I like the second one better

Glorious hair Arthur lmfaoo

Fucking chair eject

NICE SHISH-KA-BOB ARTHUR FUCK

Alfred doesn't even fucking blink when Clark arrives

ARTHURS TRIDENT DOES THE WAVY THING ON LAND TOO BROOOO

Oh yeah, step back for the demi-god princess

DONT PISS OFF DIANA AND DO NOT USE HER FAMILY TO FUCK WITH HER IT NEVER ENDS WELL

The familiar flash buildup power ring will never not make me happy

Daaaaaayum Diana!!

Nice catch Arthur

Diana knows her mother and sisters are alive bc they sent the arrow to her, so why is he even trying it??

NICE SAVE SUPERMAN!!

"Not impressed" Smooooooth

THAT FINAL BATTLE IS FUCKING AWESOME

TIME TRAVEL

BADASS DIANA WITH THAT DEPCAPITATION

You sent Today at 5:44 PM

Them all standing there was straight up "Fuck with us, I dare you"

The epilogue was great but that dream was confusing, are we doing Alt-universe shit??

MARTIAN MOTHER FUCKING MANHUNTER BITCHEEEEEEEEEEZZ

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

[smokeybrand]

Breaking the Rules

So the Snyder Cut finally dropped. Four hours of Snyderisms like slow-mo, dumb kinetic camera work, and relentless edge. Now, I'm a card-carrying Marvel shill. Been real transparent about it for years. Marvel is my sh*t and Spider-Man is my favorite superhero. That said, i do like DC. I always give them a fair shake. Hell, my favorite capeflick is The Dark Knight. I even like Watchmen and that was a slog to get through. I’ve seen every film in the DCEU and they have left me wanting. A lot of DC heads write off my opinion because of my Marvel bias but let’s be serious; The DCEU is inferior to the MCU in almost every way. As it is, the DCEU needs to be better. It needs better storytellers. It needs a better plan. It needs a Feige. Snyder is not that dude and i don’t think Wan is either. I think WB and ATT have to figure out a way to coalesce this sh*t because it’s all wonky, especially now that we have this Snyder Cut. I’ve already reviewed a Justice League before so all of the observations i made about performances in that, stand. This is more what i think this version does better and worse.

The Better

This opening is much better and makes more sense. That Super Death Wail as the principal genesis of Steppenwolf’s conflict, the thing that wakes that first Motherbox, makes way more sense that whatever the f*ck Whedon did.

This thing definitely looks so much more gorgeous that that first run. Zack Snyder can’t plot a story to save his life but this motherf*cker can compose a shot, for real. Snyder is an idea man, a cat that just wants to make cool looking sh*t, but this ain’t the medium for that. You can have all the beautiful shots in the world but if they are tied together by a shoestring of a narrative, then it’s just polished sh*t, you know?

The extended Aquaman intro was outstanding. Whedon didn’t let this scene breath and, seeing it as it was intended, that was a mistake. Seeing this version of Justice League kind of makes Josstice League in it’s entirety, a mistake. It’s weird that this was cut because it’s so good and shows so much more of Arthur.

Jeremy Iron’s Alfred continues to be my second favorite Alfred after Michael Caine. Sorry, Michael Gough...

Wonder Woman’s first scene in this, the one with the terrorists, is ridiculous. This one scene is a perfect example of the difference between the two versions of this film. Snyder’s is better, if way more brutal than it needed to be. Still, i love the warrior version of Diana so I'm good with this.

Speaking of Amazons, Snyder, apparently, put them in more clothes this time around? I couldn’t really see for sure because of the color correction but it didn’t seem like they weren’t rocking those iron bikinis like in the Whedon cut. I think Joss Whedon might be a bit more problematic than we think. Between the half naked chicks, the way he kept sexualizing Diana, the fact that there are no people of color in his version or the way he shortchanged the entirety of Cyborg’s plot... Breh.

Steppenwolf is SO much more menacing in this version of the movie. Dude feels like a force, like a proper threat an not just some stop-gap for something better. Ol’ Wolfie was a decent antagonist for an initial run at an Avengers-esque team up for the DCEU. Definitely more Loki this time around and less Ultron like the first time.

Also, the Parademons look much more dope. The first time, they looked like fodder. This time, they actual felt like a force, like a horde.

Hey, we got an Atom sighting!

Not a ton of Iris West but enough to wet my appetite. Anytime i get to see Kiersey Clemons in stuff, I'm happy. Having it tied to an outstanding sequence demonstrating Flash’s powers was just icing on the cake. Seriously, Snyder did a great job visualizing Barry’s abilities. That scene where he saved everyone from the debris and then the subtle reversing of time; All of it was dope to see.

Are those Starros that Steppenwolf is using to “interrogate” the cats with Motherbox stink on them? They look like little mechanical Starros. I hope they’re Starros.

Lots of Cyborg stuff. Like, intricate Cyborg stuff. The sh*t Whedon cut of Vic was instrumental to the coherency of this story and dude was just like, “Nah.” It’s no wonder that version of the movie doesn’t make any f*cking sense.

Hey, we got a Spectre sighting! Nice.

The explanation for the Motherboxes and their mcguffin-ness goes a long way to soothing the whole “resurrecting Superman” thing. Snyder basically tells the audience they’re magic boxes that can do anything because of magic-technology. It’s a little ridiculous considering what Motherboxes actually do in the comics but whatever. It makes sense in this universe i guess.

All of the action scenes are better. All of them. Snyder is nothing if not a cat that can actualize a dope punch-out. Dude can’t get out of his own way when telling a story but if you need a fight scene, Snyder is definitely your guy.

Speaking of, that climax was WAY better. It carried far more weight and there were times when the heroes felt like they could lose. There’s an unrelenting tension that grips you hard and doesn’t let up until it finally does. I appreciated this way more than the first one, even if it’s dumb edgy for no reason.

The Worst

Zack still doesn’t understand these characters, man. It’s very apparent to me that a lot of this is just window dressing for kind of a Zack Snyder fan fic version of DC and that’s fine i guess? Sh*t’s not my cup of tea but a great many people seem to like it. Dude’s writing can definitely be tighter and he can skew a little more toward the heart of these characters but i mean, it’s called Zack Snyder’s Justice league for a reason.

The Snyderisms, man, they are all over this thing. Look, i just don’t like how Zack makes movies. Too much style, not enough substance, or rather, not enough focus. He has a ton of great ideas but gets too bogged down in how sh*t looks, or tumbles down his rabbit hole of concept but never expresses any of them clearly enough. Outside of 300 or Dawn of the Dead, this film is probably the most focused I've ever seen Snyder and it’s still kind of all over the place yet, never where it needs to be.

So many plot holes, man. Less than before, but so many threads left untied.

This thing didn’t need to be four hours long. Not even close. There were several shots that i thought could have been cut. Like, that three hour version which got the standing ovation was probably the best version of Justice League and we’ll never see it. This version is definitely better than the theatrical run but f*ck is it long. You really feel that sh*t, too.

Cyborg still looks gross to look at. You’d think they’d try and make his weird, angular, body look a bit better upon the redo but nope. This what we get i guess.

Also, why the f*ck the Atlanteans sound British? Why they make Amber Heard do that accent? She can’t do that accent, man. You’re actually asking a chick who’s professionally pretty to act and she can’t act. She’s just pretty. That actually brings up an interesting question; Is Aquaman canon to this universe because Mera in that doesn’t have an accent and her Pops is still alive. This one has an accent and her parents are dead. Or maybe the accent makes it easier to recast Heard later with a British actress? Maybe the Mother of Dragons really is about to be the Queen of the Seas?

Why is this Knightmare sequence in here? Sure, it was awesome to see, pure fan service, but this is the blue balls of blue balls because we don’t have a movie to follow this one. This is it. This is all the Justice League we’re getting. There is no part two or whatever. Why even hint at something more?

The Verdict

There’s a lot to like about this version of Justice League. It is, hands down, better than Josstice League in almost every way. Sh*t is a better film, man, and should have been what we got to begin with. WB did Snyder a disservice by letting him go and then letting Whedon butcher his movie. I don’t like Snyder’s take on DC. I think it’s try-hard, edgelord, nonsense but it is it’s own thing and i commend him for that. Dude has a vision and I'll never take away from from a creative’s inspiration. That said, this thing was a slog to get through. It’s definitely better than what we got before but it’s still not that great and it’s way too long. Three hours is more than enough to tell this story if you make prudent cuts. Still, I’m glad it exists and, if you’re a fan of this world, a fan of Snyder’s work, you’ll love it. For me, as a cat who has no skin in this game, I'm not all that impressed. Per usual, Snyder has too many ideas and that leaves the plot unfocused and meandering at times. In a genre that is predicated on storytelling, you can’t be a bad storyteller like that and just gloss over it with spectacle. That’s disingenuous. At the end of the day, it was entertaining. It was pretty to see. It was a Snyder film.

[myriahkamm]

I live-blogged watching BvS and Justice League on FB earlier; here are my unedited thoughts. :P

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I'm watching Batman V. Superman (because bad movie night I guess idk), and during the opening scene rehashing the Waynes' deaths (for what feels like the millionth time in cinematic history--seriously, y'all, we can be done with that for a while and definitely don't need a 5 minute slow-motion scene about it), when Thomas says Martha's name as they're dying, I burst out laughing because (i) I didn't remember that he said her name during this scene and (ii) is this supposed to be some kind of foreshadowing for the really dumb crux of the movie where Batman and Superman stop fighting because omg their moms have the same name? I literally can't stop laughing. This movie is such a joke. 🤣

Having the Robin costume in this film with absolutely no context is just stupidly pointless fanboy pandering. Anyone who actually gives a crap about Batman lore should realistically hate that.

Lex Luthor, one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, bitching about not having power is definitely on brand, but I am just super *not* a fan of the quirky, kind-of-nerdy-and-awkward Lex Luthor this film decided to go with. The hardcore businessman Lex Luthor from the 90s and 00s will always be the Lithor I like best. Y'know, the one based at least in part on Donald Trump. That one.

This Jesse Eisenberg version is way too much of a Mary Sue. Businessman *and* scientist *and* awkward nerd? Yeah, Jesse Eisenberg played Mark Zuckerberg, but I'm not sure Lex Luthor should be Mark Zuckerberg.

Ugh, I totally forgot about the Darkseid-foreshadowing dream that's never going to go anywhere because, let's be real, DC is never going to do a live-action film with Darkseid (and it would be awful even if they did). Also, Batman using guns in that dream is a thing I'll never be cool with. I don't care what kind of world he thinks he's living in in that dream; Batman has established principles and pretty much only goes against them in alternate universes.

Jesus, I forgot about the whole Flash-from-the-future scene, too. DC wrote a lot of checks we're never going to be able to cash in this film. Promising an Injustice-esque Superman-is-evil kind of storyline that they're never going to do anything with...why would they do that?

So in the dream, Darkseid-related stuff is going on (which, in Justice League, does sort of happen with Steppenwolf) and Superman says "she was everything to me, and you took her away from me." Then future-Flash says that "Lois is the key". Are they implying Batman has premonitions? Are they giving him a superpower? 🤣

Oh, that's right, they blew up the U.S. Capitol in this movie. 🤣 These scenes that are supposed to be really serious and filled with tension just keep making me laugh.

Why did they decide Batman needed to make a kryptonite spear? I mean, other than plot reasons so they could use it later against Doomsday. Batman uses projectiles and his fists; he rarely uses swords or spears or whatever.

Why did they decide Doomsday had to be created using a mixture of Kryptonian and Luthor's DNA? In the comics, Doomsday is an experimental clone based on ancient Kryptonian DNA. Why (in my opinion) make Doomsday so much more pathetic by adding human DNA into the mix? Freaking weird decision.

"Mm." What a weird quirk to add to Luthor's character. "Mm" every other sentence. What's that all about?

Luthor manipulating Batman into fighting Superman is...so unbelievable. Luthor manipulating Superman to hate Batman, waaaaay more believable. But no, that's not what they went with. They went with Luthor manipulating Batman for two years into wanting to fight Superman. Superman just randomly came to hate Batman on his own and only got manipulated into fighting him at the end. They could have just gone with hey, Batman's suspicious of everyone and would naturally be suspicious of a superpowered alien, especially with the whole setup they did at the beginning that coincided with stuff from Man of Steel. But nope. Nope, they went with the dumber plot.

Doesn't Luthor have way too much info about all these heroes' secret identities? Are we just pretending secret identities don't matter anymore? That's too 90s or something?

Why does the kryptonite spear make an "omg I'm a glowy thing" sound? 🤣

And now we're at the stupid Martha part that makes no sense because if you were about to die, you wouldn't say "save [mom's name]"; you would just say "save my mom!" 🤣

Batman would totally save Superman's mom even if their moms didn't have the same name. It's just such a stupid, stupid plot point and lends itself to endless mockery. 🤣

I *do* like this fight scene where Batman is making his way through the goons to get to Martha. The choreography is really good. Reminds me a lot of the Arkham video games.

Man, this Doomsday just...doesn't really work on a fundamental level. What makes comic Doomsday so powerful and terrifying is (i) it's not just a mindless monster, but is actually intelligent and can plan and strategize; (ii) iwas created through such extreme experimentation that it was repeatedly destroyed and then remade again over and over and over to give it endurance and formidably; (iii) and it's pretty much unstoppable from all that experimentation and uncontrollable because of its intelligence.

Also, what's with this explody thing Doomsday does in this film? A monster can be terrifying without being able to blow up a bunch of stuff. I'm not sure what the point of explody Doomsday is other than lazy writing.

The military hit it once and came to the conclusion that not only does it get more powerful "every time we hit it," but also that it's unkillable? Okay. More lazy writing.

And we're back to one of my biggest issues with Man of Steel: Superman just not giving a shit about collateral damage. Even if the island they're on is uninhabited, that doesn't exactly mean he should just be fine with blowing a bunch of shit up in the course of this fight. Sheesh.

How did Lois know they needed the spear again? She had no reason to go underwater to try to get it. This whole "let's make Lois useless time and again so Superman can save her" thing is really annoying.

Superman's "death" scene carries so little weight if you know (like pretty much everyone should have known, let's be real) that he's not really dead. Like, sure, for the characters it means something because they don't know he'll be back, but for the audience? At least for me, it doesn't make me feel a whole lot.

So all the soldiers at Superman's funeral--do they know they're carrying an empty casket? Just curious.

The dirt rising off the casket at the end for a split second is soooooo dumb. For anyone naive enough to think he *is* really dead, just let them think it. Just let that be a thing. Come on. (Also considering that he doesn’t just come back on his own; it takes a charge from a Mother Box in Justice League for him to come back. That makes this end scene a lie, too.)

Ok, BvS is done. Need another drink and a snack, then I'll move on to Justice League. 😅

Justice League:

Haha, obvious Superman facial CGI right off the bat, omg, I forgot how horribly obvious it is. 🤣

Also forgot that we're starting off with parademons right away. Sheesh.

Do all of Snyder's films have to have gratuitous slow-motion scenes at the beginning? Ugh, dude.

Everyone just throwing Bruce Wayne's name around in relation to Batman all the time. Secret identities are dead, y'all. No superhero can have a real life, I guess.

Ugh, I forgot this film pushes Batman/Wonder Woman pretty hard. 🙄

"It's cool if I show a bunch of Amazons with their midriffs showing as long as they have visible ab muscles, right?" Idk, Snyder, is that how armor realistically works? 🙄 Also, is it necessary for them to have lipstick on? That doesn't even exist on Themyscira, ffs.

The multiple (as I remember; only one so far) innuendo-based jokes really bring this film down, imo. "Clark said you were the thirstier woman he'd ever met." Really? Ugh. 🙄

The plot of this film is so LOTR. Amazons, Atlanteans, and Men all get Mother Boxes, sort of like the various rings of power. There's plenty you can pull from comics, y'all. You don't need to pull from other stuff.

Flash as comic relief I'm okay with. I'm not sure how I feel about *this* Flash's comic relief. I'm not a huge fan of the writing.

Break time because Je'von wants to go out on the balcony lol. 😅

And we're back. So can Steppenwolf breathe underwater? Is that a thing? 

I guess it's supposed to be super funny that everyone disappears except the fastest one of them? Sigh. The writing in this film is just so awful.

Cyborg's CGI also isn't great. I really wanted more for Cyborg because he's awesome. Sigh.

Snyder must have loved being able to do stuff with Flash. All the slo-mo he could want.

I'm not a fan of neurotic Flash, afraid of pretty much everything. He can be funny in so many better ways, but instead let's just have him be afraid of everything and make sexual jokes every now and then. 🙄

"Let's keep having Cyborg wear sweatpants and a hoodie so we don't have to spend so much on CGI. It totally won't look ridiculous." 🤣

Batman making the argument to use technology he doesn't understand to try to bring Superman back from the dead is just so out of character it's not even funny. First of all, Superman didn't need technology to come back in the comics (whether or not his "resurrection" was silly is irrelevant). Secondly, Batman literally has an enemy (Ra's al Ghul) who resurrects himself on the regular, and Batman (i) knows it's a bad idea because it messes with Ra's's sanity and (b) would never consider using the Lazarus Pit even though he has a relative understanding of how it works. This film just literally disregards established character traits in favor of it's stupid-as-hell plot. Ugh.

Superman is vulnerable to magic, idiot writers. He shouldn't be able to fight Wonder Woman's lasso. Uuughhh. Have any of the writers of this movie ever actually read any Justice League comics? 🤦‍♀️

Well, those cops definitely know Superman's name now. Since you all keep saying it in front of them.

Superman hasn't even been gone for that long (seemingly; I mean, it's hard to tell, but S.T.A.R. Labs is still doing research on the Kryptonian ship in the same genersl area as in BvS, so idk), so all this talk about what he does or doesn't remember seems...weird.

Why not wait until you defeat Steppenwolf to let your mom know you're back, Superman? For all you know, you could die again. Wouldn't that just be harder on her after seeing you back?

Why was the lasso just sitting on the Batmobile instead of with Wonder Woman? Plot so that Aquaman could say some *super funny things*. 🙄 That's not even how the lasso works, you dumb writers. Someone has to direct another bound by it to speak the truth. Seriously, do some research. Ugh. It's not that hard.

"So your plan is dying? You really are out of your mind." "I'm not the one who brought a pitchfork." See, the writers prove that they can be actually funny if they try. *If* they try.

The "everyone trying their best to hold off the big bad until Goku gets there" vibe is super strong in this movie. 😑

Part of the reason the Justice League is a thing is because no one hero can do it alone. That means it all shouldn't be riding on Superman's shoulders. If you actually know how to write the Justice League, that is.

Don't know how I feel about everyone getting perks due to nepotism now that they know Bruce Wayne...must be nice to be buddies with the richest man in the world. 😒

The Flash vs Superman race at the end is more pandering. Ugh. It would be better if Flash was less pathetic as a character in this film. Super awkward is just not very funny, y'all. Write actual jokes instead.

Okay, that's over. What a trip. Both those movies are still pretty much garbage. 🤣 The question is, will I ever watch Man of Steel again? Probably not; I hated Man of Steel more than both those movies, actually. Wrote a 3-page rant about how awful it was after seeing it in theaters originally. $3 was still way too much money to spend on that crap. 😅

Oh, side note for the after credits scene: will they ever actually go anywhere with that? They might do an okay job with a Justice League vs. Legion of Doom (or Injustice Society or whatever villain team incarnation they would decide to go with) film. That might not suck.

[praphit]

BAMFs of 2019

Here's last year’s CHAMP -

THANOS

(Thanos: ”WTF did you just say?” #Mood)

Let's see if he made it back.

But, first, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions, as well as some people who were trying too hard:

Rey - 

Of course she is a total BAMF. So, why isn't she on this list? 3 REASONS: 1) She looks like a racist ex that I once dated. How can someone who decided to date you (a black man) be racist? Did y'all see the movie "Get Out"? You didn't know that the story was based off one of my relationships did you? So, yeah, she ain't ever gettin on this list.

2) The force is cheating - their I said it.

3) This last movie sucked. This rap she did didn't help her cause.

ALSO - there’s this - her rapping. I repeat, she ain’t ever getting on this list.

Nic Cage - cuz he's Nic bleepin Cage

Cardi B - cuz she’s Cardi bleepin B

Hooded Justice - if only he had been in more episodes. A black man disguising himself in a hood, as well as white, to fight evil in his neighborhood, that the police force (of which he is a part of) refuses to stop. Hell yeah! I love "Watchmen".

Lupita! - her brilliantly scary performance in "Us" is def BAMF material.

The Rock - honestly, The Rock is so awesome, and has been for so long, that he needs to be extra awesome to make it.

Trying too Hard. Please STOP:

Batwoman -

I like Ruby, but she's like an elf. She's an elf model. It's not bad to be an elf model, but... If a villain in Gotham, let's say "Bane" 

has me cornered, and Batwoman shows up to "rescue me", Imma start praying. He'd swing her around by that red hair of hers until her head pops off.

Rambo - He’s like 80! C’mon, Sly. Please STOP.

Dark Phoenix - a movie about her temper tantrum 

Joker -

 - not with all of that awkward dancing he was doing

NOW, finally, the top Bad Ass Muthas of 2019!

12) Greta - 

Say what you will about climate change, but you can't deny her passion and dedication, and how inspiring it is (unless you're Prez Trump or Fox News) to see and hear a kid like her do her thing. I admit that her winning the honor of "Person of the Year" is too much. But, we all wish our kids would be this dedicated to what they believe is positive change. Plus, she has a kickass soundtrack. Gets me hyped every time!

11) Dave Chappelle

Back in the day, comedians used to be brought on stage, tasked with the difficult job of making a room full of different types of people laugh. Now, it's not just about the job of jokes, but you have to do so without offending anyone, and with clean living. When did we start holding a comedian's behavior to a higher standard than we do elected officials? Dave saw this, and kept doing what made him popular anyway. In a world where most comedians are running scared from difficult topics, Dave plunges right in. BAD ASS. 

10) Linda Hamilton - 

Old as bleep! We have what's-her-face here, 

who is kinda badass herself, but despite being a badass cyborg (or whatever the hell she is), she still felt the need to ask for help from Linda bleepin Hamilton. LH traded her Hospice bingo card in for some guns and went to town on some machines! It'd be like if your home was being surrounded by aliens, and despite you having some fire power in your home and 911 at your disposal, everyone's first thought is to call grandma. That'd have to be one BAMF of a granny!

9) Masvidal - 

Allow me to describe this brotha to y'all who might not know.

Some guy was talkin smack to Masvidal, and that guy got kneed in the face by Masvidal (fastest knock out in UFC history = 5 secs). Some guy was arrogant enough to say he was the baddest mofo around, and Masvidal scheduled a fight with this dude for a literal baddest mofo around belt. Plus, that same night of the fight, when he was talking to the media after he had won, he started mocking Conor McGregor, talkin bout Conor don't want none of this. He was talking trash, publicly, about Conor, while people were feeding him pizza. BADASS!

If there is ever a fork in the road, and on one side you see The Rock, Jason Statham, and Will Smith chasing after you, and the other you have Masvidal sitting down, eating a slice of pizza, you had better take your chances with the three action heroes over this BAMF.

8) Nunes - 

If you don't know who she is, I wouldn't be surprised. The UFC botched her marketing before and after she fought and beat (badly) Ronda Rousey - yeah, RONDA ROUSEY; remember her? Nunes pretty much ended her career.

The UFC was so certain that Ronda was going to win, and so shocked when she lost, that they missed an opp to get behind a fighter who is better than Ronda (though mad respect for Ronda), and is currently holding TWO belts (first woman to do so). ALSO, she's the first openly gay UFC champ in history. She's so sweet too! - well, unless you're locked in the octagon with her, then she turns into a werewolf.

7) MANDO

I don't know about you, but all of this talk of teamwork from comic book movies can be a bit tiresome. The Avengers, The Justice League, The X-Men. Everybody wants to form a band. What happened to solo acts? What happened to lone rangers? People may say "There's no I in TEAM." Yeah, that's the prob! What about I?! Sometimes, you're Justin Timberlake, and the rest of the group is simply holding you back. That's Mando. He's Disney's updated (non-racist, unless you’re talkin drones) Lone Ranger. He doesn't need teamwork (maybe a weekly cameo, and a baby tag-along, but that's it!). He has beaten up gangs of robots, burnt people up, taken people out Jason Voorhees style, cut people in half, blown people up, blown off heads, BUT because it's Disney, we haven't seen any of that good stuff. He'd be higher on this list if they gave my man an R-rating.

6) Capt Marvel -

Captain Marvel is definitely the most powerful person on this list. She is probably also the fiercest person on this list. In Endgame, when she saw her black daddy (Nick Fury) on the screen, talkin bout Thanos snapped him away, and then something snapped inside of her, and she said "I'm going to go kill that mofo." The Avengers accompanied her, but I don't think she would have needed their help. She didn't really need their help in the final showdown with Thanos. He threw her aside, but you know she was coming back, until Tony got in her way. She is so fiery that it wouldn't surprise me if in her sequel, she goes back in time in order to rematch Thanos by herself, to prove her dominance. The reason that she's not higher on the list is because she's so damned destructive. She's just like The Hulk in the fact that she shows up to destroy everything. Now, she's a lot more focused than The Hulk, but she's so powerful that she does more damage. And she doesn't have much of a personality (so far), so it's hard to gauge her badassery of attitude, you know?? Like, if you're a villain, and you get in the way of a gorilla, that gorilla will destroy you in a very spectacularly badass way, but... it's a gorilla, you know??

I’M NOT CALLING HER A GORILLA. Don’t go snitching on me to her.

I just don’t know if she’s a hero or simply has anger management issues. Is she badass or too powerful not to do badass things?

Either way, RESPECT... or she'll come for that ass.

TIME FOR A BREAK - 

Let’s break from all of this badassery with some cuteness

Look how cute it is - I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, back to action.

5) Iron Man - 

Look, Iron-Man started this shit! Who knows what would have become of the MCU had Robert Downey Jr. blew it. Tony Stark assembled the team (granted, he was partly the reason for the break-up), he gave us Spider-Man (with that suit) (he also gave us Ultron, but let's not get bogged down with details), he held his own against Thanos in "Infinity War",

Dr. Strange thought HIM worthy of saving, and no way time travel would have worked in "Endgame" without him. Plus, in the very end, he out-smarted Thanos, and countered Thanos' one-liner ("I am inevitable.") with his own ("And I... [five minutes later - I swear that's what it felt like] am Iron-Man.").

Paid the ultimate sacrifice. Hell yeah, he's on this list. I felt kinda bad for his wife. After IM3, she was barely around. And when Tony died, she was barely comforted... cuz nobody knew her. Oh, well.. she be aiight.

4) Thanos - 

This dude saw his demise coming, and still went straight ahead towards the foes who cut his head off. BADASS! He was exceptionally crafty in playing The Avengers and blowing up their base. Then, he was just sitting around waiting for the main Avengers (Capt, Iron, and Fat Thor). He wanted to gloat a bit first. BADASS! And had Gamora not betrayed him, and had given him the gaunlet, he would have beaten The Avengers AGAIN!

He even died with a cool pose (he took a knee and got his "Thinking Man" on). BADASS!

3) Arya Stark - 

This young lady scared the bleep out of me. She has my fear AND respect. I was actually scared for whomever her current target was... I was like "Run, fool! She gonna get ya! Damn, Arya, you didn't have to do them like that!"

Now, I know I talked about Ruby Rose being a ridiculous choice for Batwoman, but if Arya Stark left on a voyage to Gotham and became Batwoman, I'd buy that. I can see her killing Bane very slowly. This woman is a frickin psychopath, and I love it. She's fearless! She also went up against the top cheese of the white walkers. Y'all remember that badass move she had at the end!

YES! I only wish she had said something cool when she took him out, like... "You've been Starked." No, that's terrible, but something like that. I wish she was the one sitting on the throne, but they... you know... did what they did.

2) Capt America - 

I think that it's fair to say that Capt America was the rock of The Avengers After the snap, he was the only one to keep his shit together; he actually worked to help others keep their shit together.

Meanwhile, Widow is crying in the dark every night while having a PB sandwich and bourbon dinner. And she just gave up on her hair.

Thor became an alcoholic.

And you could say Hulk was ok, but... was he?

I mean, that ain't right. This is avoidance behavior if I've ever seen it.

But, Capt kept it together. Then, that fight with Thanos at the end was one of, if not THE best one on one fight of the series. Using both Thor weapons, meaning he was both badass on a fighting level and a righteousness level - which ain't easy to accomplish. And when he straped tight his shield in that trailer, and gritted his teeth - hell yeah!

Chills. Capt to Thanos: You motha bleeper"

1) John Wick - 

Three movies with no time in-between to shower, sleep, take a piss, brush his teeth, NOTHING! His life for the last few years (it seems like) has been running, lurking, hiding, beating ass.. and beating ass some more. Lord knows what this dude's kill count is up to. His nickname is "Baba Yaga" Have y'all seen what the actual Baba Yaga looks like?

Terrifying. And yet, not as terrifying as John Wick when he's angry at you.

The amount of endurance and focus that has gone into this long stint of murdering (only fueled by rage and a few shots of bourbon from time to time) is uncanny.

In JW3 he makes a guy eat a book (imagine what must be done to a person's jaw for that to happen), he gets shot, stabbed, hit my two cars (seconds within each other)... Nah, y'all ain't hear me! TWO CARS! The people in the cars were trying to kill him! He fought two super ninjas - like IP Man caliber, he beat up an army of soldiers, crawled through a desert, got shot by a friend who betrayed him, fell off of a building (bouncing around a few times before hitting the pavement), and was somehow still good to schedule a fourth movie after all of that - which I assume will pickup right there.

He doesn't have any superpowers (though you wouldn't know), but his tenacity is to be envied, and outdoes everyone else's on this list.

BAMF!!!

[offworldcolony]

Zack Snyder's Justice League, 2021 - ★★★

Daddy Issues: The Movie.

I'm conflicted about the existence of this film; as an exercise in studio interference it's fascinating, as a parable of what can happen when fans rise up, it's a cautionary tale, and as the shape of things to come, it's questionable. I don't think fans should get to decide anything; hiring the correct filmmakers and giving them creative freedom would be the ideal option because you give the people what they need and never what they want. What they want, as evidenced by everything, almost always sucks and they're left unhappy anyway. And this film might be the exception that proves the rule.

And although Zack Snyder's Justice League was a film worth creating from the butchered remains of the original incarnation, it shouldn't have come at the behest of how much vitriol was cast out there in the process, and it shouldn't be a signal that a rabid and butthurt community of internet trolls that believe they deserve whatever they want, exactly as they want it, should ever influence the film industry ever again.

This should instead be a reminder to Studios that they know about as much as Marketing departments or gamblers or stock market traders: they're just pissing in the wind and when it lands in the toilet they claim it's by some kind of design of their own making and brilliance. Hire somebody good and get the fuck out of their way. At least if it's shit (like this film basically is) it is the fault of one person's vision and I'd rather have a noble and coherent failure than a luke-warm, mediocre carcass of a Frankenstein's monster made up of opinionated Suits, en-vogue and focus group-driven decisions acting only as a commercial for toys like 2017's Justice League was.

So the film itself? It's incredibly enjoyable, I had an absolute blast with my family round watching it like an old-school movie night. Is it a better movie? Yes, 100% in practically every way. Is it a good movie? Nope! But it's one person's coherent vision, I just hate that vision and I don't think he pulls it off.

Snyder constantly undercuts his own good ideas by his own execution, stumbling into his own sandcastles; some sequences have some really fantastic starts and then they're shot and edited in a way that makes me crawl inside out with cringe; singing a Nordic-style Aquaman song: great, having someone really close up sniff his jumper and sing right at us: horrific. And there's legion of these terrible choices by Snyder, usually things that don't make logical sense but mean he can do something because it's simply cool. (Martha Manhunter anyone?) But we already know by now that cool on its own isn't enough. Snyder doesn't. Having Batman say "fuck" isn't cool, it's dumb. Having Superman say a cocky (rubbish) one-liner when he saves someone from Steppenwolf is out of character, it's dumb. More than once I was able to predict what a character was going to say before they even said it. Come on, this isn't Trey Parker and Matt Stone's Team Justice League.

On the undeniable positives are the colour grading, score, the reels of added and altered material and more. Most of the added scenes are way, way better, more coherent and the film looks great actually. It does look Olympian and classic as I imagine he wanted it to, like the cave murals Diana sees. The extra character and coherence allow the jokes and interactions to breathe; Wayne is a little funnier, Diana, sadder, Cyborg, actually here for a change with something to do, and seemingly powerful, and Flash (thank god) not annoying. Even Irons' Alfred gets basically the best material and comes out of it my favourite character. Truly the Alfred of the group.

What doesn't work with this is that there's so much slow-mo that it becomes laugh-out-loud funny and goofy rather than impressive and dynamic, and in a 4-hour long film, you'd better be damn sure that amount of slow-mo is necessary, even in the slow-mo shots you can palpably feel they drag on for a few seconds too long each time.

And my god let's talk about the soundtrack. So Snyder has now consistently proven himself to be awkwardly tone-deaf to good music in all of his films. He can't pick an appropriate track, he can't pick an ironic track. Every time he does one of his patented slow-mo, nothing sequences over a full track of music (it feels like) it's so awkward I almost got up and left my own fucking house. There's like five of these.

But the action here (apart from being blasted in the eyeballs by insane amounts of bright lights) was all really genuinely good here, he's got it down, the dynamism didn't feel stodgy and CGI-ified, wasn't just a big invulnerable guy bashing someone aside for ten minutes, they fought as a team, it looked and felt fun, and at times, really tense and involving. It's a huge step up from whatever they did for the theatrical. The Amazonian stuff was motivated, gripping and grand. Anything with Steppenwolf felt imposing and had heft and tactics to it. Bravo.

Speaking of Steppenwolf, his Middle Managers and Head Office in the form of marble liquid Henchman, Darkseid and CGI Anette Benning(??!!) felt like strange meaningless additions, as did the anti-life equation shit (this is what Marvel doesn't do, they're expert-level at exposition for newcomers and easter eggs for fans combined). Darkseid looked like a troll, neither imposing nor unique or cool, and I'm not talking an ordinary troll, I mean one of those shit ones that gets turned to stone in the sun, not even a proper fighting troll. He looked like the first mini-boss encounter in a Lord of the Rings videogame. But...

But Steppenwolf looked awesome and I actually liked him here and his Simp for Daddy schtick. I laughed at him a lot, but like Synder I had a lot of endearment for him and his cute, sad, hopeful eyes. Daddy please love me! I promise I'll do better! I can't explain why he worked this time but he did. Maybe it's because the story felt interesting (dumb but at least it all made sense internally) and it felt grand in scale and scope and had stakes and whole added motivations for everybody.

Speaking of what else worked, yes I enjoyed the 4:3 aspect ratio, I thought it would just be Zack Snyder wanking himself off again (see: Justice League: Dark or whatever they'll call his upcoming Black and White version) but I kind of loved it, it was almost euphoric and actually did replicate some of what going to the IMAX felt like. I liked feeling like these colossi of comic books were towering above like statues.

What didn't work was that the chapter headings had nothing to do with the chapters at all or anything that happened in them which felt strange. Also, characters over-egg their lines as if we're dumb and keep stating the obvious in such a first draft way that I felt myself getting stupider.

One of my main gripes is if you keep trying to one-up yourself, these character do not feel understandably epic and powerful. They're all kind of idiotic and silly and po-faced and posture so much and say snappy one-liners and prance around like Chads. Snyder thinking he’s some kind of subversive genius and all that is sweet, but most of time I'm laughing at his cloying fan-service. He's the kid that keeps telling you how great he is and you don't mind because you can see he's got no friends and he's been bullied. Snyder isn't as aggressively dumb and bullish like Michael Bay is, for example, and Snyder's movies are largely coherent. But he's trying too hard and I just don't like his vision. As little elseworld graphic novels this kind of shit between Batman and Joker works, or in films like Joker you can do some out-there things, rather than in this, a mainline, flagship series.

Zack Synder is a little like a first-time Dungeons and Dragons DM trying to impress his table with all his edgelord grittiness and "vision"; He is a child that has two figurines and is smashing them together and yelling "Look! Look what I'm doing! Superman is beating everyone up! LOOK!" Zack Snyder's Justice League is simply, more than anything, endearing. That's the best way I can describe it.

Endearing.

And this film being endearing means I can't hate it, even though I think it's rubbish; because if a child builds a fortress of Lego, it's not exactly the Taj Mahal, but it is impressive. But when he knocks it all down I'm right there yelling for him to pick up all the destroyed pieces now because it can't always be playtime. A film can't just be spectacle and chaos and whatever-the-fuck-you-want. It has to be about something.

Justice League is about nothing. The Dark Knight was about Chaos in a system used to Order even if there was chaos inherent in the order. And it asked you to look at that chaos vs unbridled chaos. With both Dent and Joker as two sides of the same coin; chaos and order, and it put that paradox or that choice to the people of Gotham. It was about surveillance states, money, and sacrifice. And so much more. The Dark Knight subsequently became timely and timeless.

Justice League is about nothing and it will fade into nothing because of it. The euphoria will pass. It's OK it exists. It OK that we move past it now.

source https://letterboxd.com/offworldcolony/film/zack-snyders-justice-league/

[batmanvsuperman-dawnofjustice]

Justice League thoughts!

I️ finally got to see Justice League last night and I️ have some thoughts. (Possible minor spoilers, but I️ don’t think so)

Overall, I️ enjoyed it and it was a lot of fun. The plot was not too complicated and was mostly streamlined. It wasn’t a perfect movie but still very good.

The best part was actually seeing the whole team together and their individual character moments. Every member was developed and had their moment to shine. I️ thought Cyborg would be kind of sidelined over the more well-known characters, but that was not the case at all, as he was as integral to the team as everyone else. The acting was overall great.

As I said, the plot was straightforward but for me that worked. A more complicated plot would take away from the character development. My one problem with the plot was Steppenwolf was kind of a generic villain with somewhat vague motivations, but he wasn’t meant to be the focal point, the team was.

Visually, I️ thought it looked great and was as smooth as the rest of the DCEU. People had problems with the effects, but I️ thought for the most part it was great. The underwater/Atlantis scenes with Aquaman had a very cool visual appeal that made me more excited for his solo movie. The opening scene was styled very much like a traditional Batman movie which I️ thought worked perfectly and set the mood well.

This was definitely a more lighthearted DCEU movie, but the point of the previous entries was to set up this hopeful direction. It sets up very well for more Justice League movies, and I️ really hope there are more because now that the characters are established, they can delve more into complex villains.

Random thoughts:

It was ballsy giving Amy Adams third billing in the credits. The whole League should have come first.

There’s a couple cool cameos/Easter eggs that I️ won’t spoil, but one is fairly early on in the movie and I️ freaked out. It’s during a flashback battle sequence.

They’re laying the seeds to let go of Ben Affleck so I️ think we’re getting a new Batman in the near future.

I️ really liked it but at times it felt too run-of-the-mill because there weren’t many game-changing twists. I️ blame the current state of superhero movies on this because there is always such an expectation of going above and beyond, even though sometimes a simple story is all that is needed.

Yes, Superman is in it.

A lot of rumors were not true (which was a little disappointing, but can’t hold it against the movie).

Aquaman is going to be awesome.

The weekend box office should be much higher and I️ can’t believe it’s making less than Wonder Woman.

Some Joss Whedon additions were obvious, but there was a natural flow.

There are two credit scenes: one is really fun and one is sequel-baiting.

Batman v Superman > Wonder Woman > Man of Steel > Justice League > Suicide Squad

[arkhamcitysirens]

You watched justice league?! How was it? Can you share a review pls?

justice league spoilers under the cut!

i’ve been a bit nervous to share my thoughts because i don’t want to accidentally share spoilers, so if you don’t want the movie spoiled for you, you probably shouldn’t read this!!! 

the characters are all amazing. first and foremost, this film is character-driven, not plot-driven, so if you truly love these characters you’ll love the film. their relationships are key to enjoying the movie- highlight of it all was barry and victor being friends, as well as clark and bruce being ‘bros’ (yeah right). i especially enjoyed the portrayals of aquaman, wonder woman, and yes, superman does come back and get some awesome scenes to himself. he’s in the very opening scene and it almost made me cry.

speaking of clark’s ressurection, i didn’t like how they went about it. at the end of ‘batman vs superman’, we see the dirt on his grave shaking, implying that superman is alive in some form. however in this movie he is very much dead. bruce is just so angsty about his boyfriend being six feet under that he literally resurrects him, making for some very uncomfortable grave-robbing and messing-with-a-dead-body scenes, but also some GOLDEN superbat moments. mainly my issue is that bvs implied clark would come back of his own volition, but that wasn’t how it happened at all, although i did appreciate that the way events did unfold led to a lot of (probably unintentional) gay moods on bruce’s behalf.

the opening scene is absolutely incredible and it’s all zack snyder without a doubt. possibly my favourite opener to a movie ever. unfortunately, i feel like that amazing sequence is the ONLY part of the film 100% in tact with snyder’s vision as opposed to joss whedon’s, except for maybe the action scenes.

joss whedon rubbed his grubby little hands all over this thing and as a result the movie is pretty chopped up. half of it feels relatively dark, like something is actually at stake, but then almost every interaction between the league is just funny and lighthearted and everybody is witty as ever. it’s enjoyable to watch but it leaves you feeling like they’re not actually dealing with the literal end of the world. also i can tell it’s going to lead to plenty of criticism that dc is copying marvel’s formula. joss whedon’s fault. but still true.

aside from joss making it all a big joke, he also pulled his typical sexist bullshit with diana. as you might have heard, there IS a scene where the flash falls on top of wonder woman. it’s very awkward and played for laughs. however, it’s not as dramatic as people make it out to be, although it’s completely unnecessary and i wish it hadn’t been included. my bigger issue with diana’s portrayal is that almost EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER gets some form of joke about how they should get with diana. there’s a creepy af scene where diana tends to bruce’s wounds, but it really comes off like it’s dangerously on the verge of slipping into them making out. thank god it doesn’t. alfred comments that bruce is going on a “date” with her, and then also calls diana’s meeting with cyborg a “date” (quit it alfred). the flash gets his oh-shit-i-just-fell-on-her-boobs moment and worst of all, there is a scene in which aquaman is commenting on all of his teammates. he makes genuine comments on everyone, then gets to diana, and just says, “you’re gorgeous, we should totally get together”. it makes diana feel seperate from the team and not as valuable to the league as she is because yet again, the female character is being seperated from her male counterparts. also i don’t think this movie passes the bechdel test. make of that what you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a shitload of scenes from the trailers are missing, including the scenes those trailers literally hinged entirely off- there’s no “they said the age of heroes would never come again.” “it has to” moment, and alfred’s ICONIC “i knew you’d be back... i just hope you’re not too late” isn’t even in the final product! which leaves so many questions. who the hell was he addressing anyway??? also iris west’s cameo got cut. presumably this was all done to make more money off the inevitable extended cut, because i think more actual scenes from the trailers are missing than there were missing from ‘suicide squad’, and that is saying something.

another thing is that the villain, steppenwolf, is useless. dumb villain, dumb backstory, total waste of time, but again, this isn’t a plot-driven film. it’s about the characters uniting to defeat SOMETHING and if that takes using a pretty forgettable villain to show us our heroes, i guess i’m okay with that.

on the positive side, the action sequences are GREAT. diana has an incredible scene at the beginning of the film that just shows how much she shines, and i don’t even care that it doesn’t really fit with the plot, it was worth it. the only action scene that felt a little off was the climax, probably because it really didn’t feel like anything was at stake because the movie makes such a point of being the exact opposite of bvs and making jokes at every possible opportunity. 

i’m not too sure how to feel about cyborg or flash. barry was presented as the comic relief of the movie at all times (even though pretty much the whole thing was comic relief, he was by far the biggest joke of the show). and i liked that! it just felt like he began to slip too far into the ‘awkward teen’ side of things. however, his relationship with his father was handled fantastically and i ADORED seeing that storyline play out. 

there are a couple of absolutely bizarre plot threads in this movie, too. one involves a russian family that we keep cutting back to throughout the film. they really have no purpose, although barry does save them at the end of the movie... and i don’t get it... we didn’t need their origins over iris’s cameo and all the cool trailer scenes but yeah okay whatever dc. another one is this odd comment i didn’t understand in which barry offers victor a fist bump and then says “oh sorry i can’t do that... it’s racially charged”.... nobody in my cinema reacted and i am SO CONFUSED??? was that some terrible joke??? some awful reference i didn’t understand??? someone please clear this up for me. 

STAY FOR BOTH AFTER CREDITS SCENES. the first one was just a funny and cute reference to the comics, which i really enjoyed, but the second one was amazing and featured the appearance of two major villains for the dceu, one of which is brand-new to the series that i don’t wanna spoil unless you ask again. but god. stay. they’re both so good.

i think this movie is very much intended as the family package. it’s the antidote to synder’s “too dark” dceu movies of the past. as a result, it’s very funny and lighthearted, almost too much so, and extremely reliant on the characters and relationships to carry it along. i genuinely did enjoy it a lot, but i feel it is still quite flawed. i just hope joss whedon stops writing screenplays, stops directing, and chokes, because i can say with complete honesty that i feel he was the cause of most of this film’s problems. 

[bluelanternof2814]

I saw Justice League! I thought it was good, but I really think it should have been great.

Spoilers below

Some issues it had:

It wasn’t long enough. The pacing was too fast, a lot of scenes were cut SUPER short (Clark reuniting with Martha, Arthur going to Atlantis), and there are some scenes we didn’t get at all that I think we definitely should have, like the world finding out Superman is back. We get a whole sequence about how shitty the world is now that he’s gone, but we don’t get to see everybody’s reactions to his return? We know Whedon cut a LOT out of this movie, so hopefully the blu-ray has an extended cut that will show us more.

TOO MUCH CGI. I usually don’t have too big of an issue with CGI in movies, but is was actually really distracting for me here. And it’s CGI that could have been avoided! Like...could they not have gotten some nature footage in Italy or something instead of digitally creating ALL of Themyscira? I thought Steppenwolf looked good, though.

Speaking of Steppenwolf, who is he? I mean, I know who he is, but not because of anything the movie told me. At least from what I remember, there’s no mention of him being one of Darkseid’s generals, or from Apokolips, or anything. He does name-drop Darkseid, but not in a way that makes it clear that Darkseid is his boss, or even a person. Steppenwolf really should have said something along the lines of “my master won’t be please with this” at the very least. And Diana says that the Mother Boxes are “Apokoliptic,” which could be confused for the actual word “apocalyptic.” I think she should have said “Apokoliptian” and emphasized that Apokolips is a place and the home of Steppenwolf.

Aquaman got the snubbed in this movie, which really sucks. He had a lot of cool moments, but we saw pretty much all of them in the trailers. Also, side note: Mera had to create a bubble of air for them to be able to speak under water...how is that gonna work in the Aquaman movie?

Amazon warriors in bikinis? Come on. Do we really need Patty Jenkins to tell us that that makes no sense? Also, I counted 3 ass shots of Diana. Whedon’s work, I’m sure.

Okay, bad stuff out of the way LET’S TALK ABOUT THE GOOD SHIT

SUPERMAN. Holy shit, Superman is great. I love him so much. They brightened his costume, they made him HAPPY and HOPEFUL. And he LAUGHS. That part when he and Cyborg are splitting the Mother Boxes apart and the bit directly after it were FANTASTIC. Also, I loved evil Superman and I loved even more that it only lasted as long as it did. And when he asks Bruce “Do you bleed?”??????? Fuck me up with that shit YES. Also, freeze breath confirmed.

Cyborg. Way better than I was led to believe, and way more important to this movie that I expected. Of all the other non-trinity JL members, I think Cyborg’s history and motivation were handled the best. I do kind of wish he would have altered his appearance sooner than he did, though.

Batman took a back seat, which I thought was the right choice. I really liked when he told Barry to just focus on saving one person’s life and then he’d know what to do from there, which was, of course, to save more of them.

That battle between the Amazons and Steppenwolf was AWESOME. When Hippolyta ties the Mother Box to an arrow and shoots it to the warrior riding on a horse??? And then that warrior CATCHES the arrow and pulls the box up to her??? Amazing.

The flashback sequence of Steppenwolf and the parademons fighting the Amazons, Atlanteans, and humans was incredible. Zeus, Ares, and a GREEN LANTERN??????? Love it. Honestly that GL bit was one of my favorite parts of the whole movie and it was only like 3 seconds.

This was a FUN movie and I really had a good time watching it. But like I said, the biggest issue was that it was too short. I think that really hurt it. I’d give it a 7.5/10 overall, at least for now. If we get an extended cut, and I really hope we do, I think that would drastically improve how I feel about it.

[dawnofspeed]

so i went and saw ‘justice league’ with my li’l bro and bestie tonight.

spoilers ahead.

i want to preface my entire thing with saying that lately i’ve felt conflicted about joss wheedon’s work (and even unrelated with the deadpool 2 movie) because of joss’ whole ‘i’m a feminist but the reason i’ve been horrible to women is the patriarchy’ (and with deadpool 2 the whole... forcing a stunt person to do a stunt they weren’t ready for and got them killed).  But also as a filmmaker i know that there are tons of people who work on these films that have nothing to do with those things, so i’ve decided to keep them at the back of my mind and just focus on these slightly problematic films on their own merit. (no i won’t talk about dp2 in this. it’s just been on my mind bc i saw the new trailer and spoke to my bestie, another film graduate, about the issues with stuff tonight and yeah. soz.) ALSO PLEASE NOTE THAT THE FOLLOWING ARE OPINIONS. if you like something i don’t, that’s great. all the power to you. i am literally just writing thoughts and opinions and i only just finished a film degree so... y’know. not an expert.

moving on.

i loved a lot of this movie. as a whole it was a great ensemble piece. the cast was solid, the acting was solid, the script was solid. the plot worked well. i think it accomplished setting up the justice league, introducing us to characters and their backstories while driving the story forward. i also liked that it really seemed to know its source material and kept to the actual point- superhero movies shouldn’t be completely dark. they can be fun, they can be funny, they can be hopeful. whatever problems i have with joss wheedon as a person and the things he’s said and done, i think he can write and direct well. and he knows what he’s doing. the few women in the film he also balanced well. i didn’t feel like he was ‘buffy’ing any of them (something he sorta did with kitty pryde in his astonishing x-men, as much as i loved it. although that could also be because buffy was sorta based off kitty, joss’ fave x-men character). 

i enjoyed all most of the characters. the whole justice league was great (alfred included, c’mon, he’s totally a team member at this point). i do think that diana was different in this film than her wonder woman one, there was just a different tone but you can also kinda just explain that away as this is post-steve trevor, it’s been a while since the events of ww, and that’s just what it is now. towards the end of the movie it felt more tonally in sync with her in ww, so that may be it. also bats pushing diana to lead the team? i loved that.  i’ve never known much about victor but i found his story intriguing in this, he was fun, and my reservations about him being in the flash film are totally squashed now. i maintain that batfleck is my favourite of all batmen. this movie sealed it for me and i definitely enjoy his performance more than any that came before him. i mean. i enjoyed michael keaton but he was just never totally batman for me. clark was SO much better in this movie. he was light, and funny, and 100% the superman i actually love. i didn’t want him brought back to life and then afterwards?? i was like?? nah, you’re right, clark IS a good guy. how have i never seen this before? i just hated dceu superman before this film. arthur curry is cool. i have never been a massive aquaman fan. i didn’t hate atlantis. but i just... didn’t really care? then. they made him cool, and fun, and so much potential. i’m intrigued about his backstory. i wanna know more. i wanna unpack his personality. just. wow.  but the standout? barry all the way. i was a bit anxious about how they were going to do it. i love ezra, but we’ve seen so many iterations of barry at this point that i was just really worried about what aspects they’d keep and how they’d navigate his background and his powers. but they did an amazing job. they kept his sense of humour while also maintaining his kindness, his intelligence, his zest for life and i love how even when he’s terrified he goes out of his way to do the right thing. added to his ‘i assume he’s an attractive jewish guy’ when he’s talking about his security footage. i just. love him. i do think some of his qualities are wally west?? like??? but my brother kept insisting that in the early comics barry was very playful and jokey, not just puns and dad jokes, so i’m inclined to believe him.  also alfred was a+++ i love him. alfred forever. so that clears up most of the mains. plot? well i’m gonna be honest. i know... very little about darkseid and any of that stuff in the comics. i did think it was a great way to bring in both atlantians and amazons. and that cheeky green lantern reference at the beginning. and my brother swears he saw hercules but i only know marvel’s hercules so?? i??? dunno???? i also think it had high stakes, a ticking time frame, gave them the ability to bring superman back AND create a justice league. all while never trying to cram more than one actual plotline into a film. (like. a LOT of other dc movies.) i was happy with it. i never felt like it ran too long or i got bored or any of that so i’m. yeah. great.  also loved that no one was forced into a freakin’ love interest or hampered from saving the world or anything by romance. did think that clark waited way too long to meet up with them for the end battle. like. did he spend all that time making a new goddamn suit? what? got a hair cut? like. why did it take you so long? you’re SUPERMAN. lois told you ages ago to get moving and help out. did you spend all that time like chatting with your mum? also, sidenote: thank you trailers for not spoiling this film. i didn’t expect the superman rebirth. i went in just knowing the jl was gonna kick butt somewhere and we were gonna get introduced to them all. the marketing on this film was spot on, and i loved that surprise and being pulled through the whole movie trying to guess what the hell was gonna happen. double thumbs up. ok. i will go over the things i didn’t like. which were very few. but first i kinda wanna talk about a few other cast/character things. i’m gonna be honest. not a massive fan of amy adams as lois lane. besides the fact that to me she doesn’t look like lois lane, and doesn’t embody (TO ME) anything that lois does... she also (TO ME) doesn’t have any chemistry with henry cavill. i don’t feel a thing. sometimes i might be like awwwww, cute. but that’s more of the situation rather than any emotions i get off of them. but that’s kinda nitpicky here as she was already cast as that character and no one was going to change that for the justice league. i will admit i felt more for her in this film than any of the others, and i enjoyed her more than in the others. but she was still... not lois.  now... amber heard as mera. i will admit that amber looks like mera. and i enjoyed her limited performance and i’m sure she’ll do a great job in the aquaman film and i hold nothing against her. but. if arthur curry doesn’t need to look like comic arthur curry than. why does mera? we only had three women in the whole movie, really. two had limited parts. mera could have been a woc. she could have been not supermodel gorgeous as amber is. (i love amber i do but... who looks that goddamn gorgeous?) already the entire film felt like impossible standards of women. the amazons are varied in body shapes yes, but those costumes. then mera is AMBER. and gal is. gal. i just. there are so many races on earth. asian and hispanic women (and people) exist. not that the movie... shows that... at all.  in fact, between the dceu and the mcu there’s one hispanic character on the movie screen. and he isn’t even a superhero (yeah, the friend of antman’s. and no i’m not counting netflix. that’s not a movie screen. yes rosario dawson is awesome.) heck the cw only added a hispanic woman in the last year. before that cisco was pretty much on his lonesome. wait. that might not be right. i’m sure arrow had a guest star that moved to lot... meh. i don’t keep up anymore.  all i’m saying is... if mera had been cast woc then that would have continued right on through to aquaman too.  but i have nothing against both amber and amy. they’re doing their jobs and i wish them all the best and i will try and enjoy it as much as possible.  my few criticisms:

- ... not a big fan of the costume design. i was so confused about wonder woman’s until i remembered it was probably the one from bvs which i hated. i have no idea what was happening with superman’s. batman’s was fine. flash was fine. cyborg’s was fine. loved aquaman’s (and mera’s). the amazonians? what? why???? you could tell it was a male designer. every vital organ was pretty much on show and it was all sexy, just like how wonder woman’s skirt was shortened and the front was like almost a loincloth. just. no. 

- production design was ok? like there were very few standouts to me. batcave was pretty good, the flash cave, and anything with aquaman’s fishing village. pretty sure that was filmed in new zealand tho and those guys are on point with their pd. studying their stuff over there, man. pd orgasm tbh. ever since lord of the rings those guys are just amazing.

- camera work was great at times and then just weird in others. i think that had a lot to do with cgi demands, which i’ll get to in a minute. 

- the lighting? i mean yes, each scene requires different lighting depending on the place, time of day, people and props... but. there’s this one scene in the field with clark and lois and i was like. confused because it felt like they got first year film students to light it. it was off. and if they were trying to reproduce a field at sunset in a studio with green screen that might make sense but to me it didn’t feel like a gs scene. 

- which brings me to my next point. cgi and green screen. there felt like a lot of it in the movie. pretty sure the fight after clark is revived is green screen. the entire last battle has so much cgi that i felt like it was avengers on steroids. also kinda felt like i was watching a video game with like real people pasted in. and while i get WHY it was like that i also felt like. there could have been ways to do it differently. when i watch stranger things i know there’s cgi. but i never get that feeling, that i’m watching a video game. which is important. because i want to stay sunk into the film. not be thrown out and feel like a different medium has taken over. my challenge for jl2? keep me in the film. find a way to make the sfx stay real. possibly a nitpick but like i said, this is my opinion. so that’s it. that’s my long ass dissection and feels and thoughts. i am so looking forward to every solo movie and also being introduced to iris west and atlantis more. im me or d/cord if you wanna chat about anything or if we’re not pals you can send me a q via askbox.

[kaijuworldorder]

MI22 At the Movies: Justice League & Thor Ragnarok

So I went out to the thee-yater not too long ago to get caught up on capeshit, and you’ll never guess which one I liked more. Spoilers ahoy…

Thor Ragnarok: I wanted to like this film, I really tried. It’s not to say I wasn’t entertained, but I got nothing else out of it. The production design and visuals were certainly great, Hulk being Hulk was fun, Valkyrie was rad, Stacker Pentecost Heimdall did cool hero stuff, and Hela was an awesome villain and a far better Rita Repulsa than the one we got in that fucking awful Power Rangers flick earlier this year. However, that’s about all the positive things I can say about it. It just felt so…bland, like Heisei Godzilla or Star Wars prequel bland, the product of a sterile corporate environment. The humor was forced and never really let up; a major theme about the evils of imperialism, and the dangers of romanticizing the past by ignoring it, is hard to take seriously when most of the rest of the film refuses to take anything seriously. Thor spends most of the film acting completely out of character, all for the sake of a cheap laugh. And while things happened and were pretty and exciting, I never really cared about what was happening. Like Odin just kinda…died with no setup and barely any explanation about ten minutes in, and it went by so fast that I felt absolutely nothing. Even the much-hyped Beta Ray Bill cameo was a letdown, just a lame statue on the side of a building, same as Bi-Beast and the Champion of the Universe (at least I think it was the Champion of the Universe?); I’m sitting there like “really, this is what people were excited about?” Overall,Thor Ragnarok is a picture I can’t really recommend. If you’re an MCU completist and absolutely must see it, go with a matinee or dollar show, or wait for rental or On Demand. 4.5/10

Justice League: I’m shocked by how much I enjoyed this. Not a home run like Wonder Woman was, but a solid base hit, and after so many strikeouts from the DCEU I’m happy with that. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still plenty here that’s not great. Most of the first half feels unfocused. The costume changes to the Amazons were stupid. Wondy’s role and characterization were disappointingly reduced; I’d hate to see the pre-reshoots version, which apparently she was in even less. The effects were super jank, especially on Generic Villain #74656 Steppenwolf, who looks like a character model from a PS2 game, and the terrible CG job to remove Supes’ mustache in the reshoot scenes. We have yet another “one big bad with an army of CGI mooks” setup, which I’m so tired of in cape pictures. Flash was horribly annoying, a walking, breathing Whedonism, and his costume looked awful. The positives, however, outweighed the negatives for me. Aquaman was fucking great and a highlight. Cyborg really got me to care about him despite spending relatively little time with him. I really got a sense of a team learning to work together. This film has a sense of humor that (aside from Flash) doesn’t go overboard; the quips feel earned and in character, and the film gets serious when it needs to. The score by Danny Elfman is excellent, a big step up from the Hans Zimmer/Junkie XL DADDA DADDA DADDA DADDA BANG BANG BANG ON THE KEYBOARD BABY generic action-movie tripe we’ve endured so far, with liberal use of the classic Batman march (though I’m still disappointed he didn’t work his old TV Flash theme in there too). And while of course Zack Snyder just had to have one more fucking scene of “I REALLY HATE SUPERMAN”, once Big Blue gets his bearings, he’s exactly the Superman I was hoping for in these flicks: chipper, smiling, righteous, cracking little jokes…no longer a mopey, selfish jerk whining about how he’s tortured and conflicted and the human race just suuuuucks you guuuyyysss. And that post-credits stinger, which I will not spoil, is fantastic. Not a perfect film by any means, but enjoyable, and a further step in the right direction for the DCEU. Definitely give this one a look; go in with an open mind and you may be surprised. 7/10

[reginasrandomthoughts]

First reaction after watching Justice League

Incoherent ramblings about how great the film was. It is long and it includes spoilers. 

So I just came out of Justice League and HOLY FUCKING COW! It was everything I hoped and dreamed of. I went in there to see Superman come back, be Superman and kick ass and I got that and so much more.

There were just so many cool moments! Like the horseback stunts of the Amazons at the beginning (and yes, the bikini armor is horrendous, idk whose idea was it but that costume designer should be BANNED from future female superhero projects).

Everything with Aquaman that happened in that village was cool especially the whole drink and look pretty strut into the spray of water. His relationship to the ocean (and all water in general) is awesome and I wanna see more of that in Aquaman. I feel really good about that movie now. I also adored the scene where he takes down the parademon through the building? Yea it was in the trailer but it was so much cooler in context. Also I adored the first time he saw Bruce in costume. I also thought that the lasso of truth scene was funny? Yea it is a bit problematic but I see it as a character study of the person Arthur is now, at the beginning of his hero's journey.

I liked the scene with Mera? Yea it was not the best, but I like the potential it has and I trust James Wan to take it to an interesting place.

I adored Diana. I liked how she saved everyone, I loved how she fought Steppenwolf, I loved her fist fight sequence and how she was just fast enough to dodge all those bullets, adored how she could relate to Cyborg, and also all of her badass moments. Like when she sliced through Steppenwolf's axe? It was a great callback to him taunting her with his axe being soaked in the blood of her sisters. I loved how she stepped up to lead when Batman decided to be a bloody idiot and I especially adored it when she smashed her shield with her bracelets instead of merely smashing them together. And how she, unlike Bruce actually noticed that Cyborg was spying on them. I loved how she downplayed how dangerous she can be simply because she did not want to hurt anyone (yet) so there was no need to show it off? At the same time I also liked that since she went into that self-prescribed exile she was still unsure of the full extent of her powers so she relied more on her Amazon training then on those (this is also an explanation to why her fight with Supes was so unbalanced, well, in addition to how she didn’t actually want to hurt him (like she could as she was at the moment)). I am sorry Diana, you are my second favourite, but Superman is first.  Also, every time she uses her lasso is so cool? My fav of that has to be the one during the ending when she ties up robbers with it to make them confess everything. And she went up to talk with the children! She is awesome and I will probably rave about her some more later on.

Also the bit about her getting so angry about Bruce’s taunts about Steve that she just shoved him was great. I am so happy that Diana was allowed to get angry in this film and was not just there to smile prettily. But it was nice to see that too of course. To see her come back after her self imposed isolation while she mourned Steve. 

Next is, because yes he is the main attraction and I just can't hold it in any more, SUPERMAN! Yes! This and some more please! I loved how he just smacked the JL around, his comment to Bruce about Bruce not letting him neither live nor die, I loved his scene with Lois when she ran ap to him (whoever put in the line about Supes smelling ood should be crucified by the way) and I loved how he saved the JL's asses during the big finale. I loved how he just carried the whole house??? And how he froze the axe? And that he had a race with Barry?? And his smile when the children interviewed him? The only thing that bothered me was how he came back in with the line to WW "is he still bothering you?" bc it was such a jock boyfriend line?? (Yea, there are some questionable line choices in this film). Also, how he helped Cyborg pull the motherbox apart and they shared a laugh after it? Superman laughs in this one and it looks so good in him like it was just meant to be (because it was). Loved it.

And now onto Bruce. He has such a crush on both Diana and Clark??? I love it but I am not quite sure if that is what they were going for here. But that look on his face when Superman joins in on the final showdown? Also he is like a really decent mentor for Barry, like he makes sure to get him out of trouble and he has faith in him being able to step up to being a hero? Never knocks him for being inexperienced and not knowing how to fight. And you can bet your ass that the recommendation came from him. He also seems to have found his dormant sense of humour? His repeat joke about Aquaman being able to talk with fish is great. Like at first I thought that he was trying to insult him but he really believed that he can? But he also still has his asshollery on esp. in that scene with Diana where he talks about Steve (he compares Diana loosing Steve to him loosing Superman, this ship sails itself, at least from his side). His suicide plan was... Meh. It really feels like he is just tired and just started believing again and feels like the only thing he has left to give is creating the League and giving his life??

And on that note, he was ready to die in the fight against Superman as well. Which is wow. I liked how they brought back the "do you bleed" line and put a twist on it. I liked how after the battle Bruce was like, yea something is definitely bleeding. I know that some people don't think that Batman should be jokey, but I think that you kinda need to be able to joke to be able to cope with this shit for as long as he did. 20 fucking years! Holy cow.) 

And now that I circled back to that fight for a bit, let me just say how cool I think it was that the whole thing started bc the power of the motherbox that created Cyborg recognized the threat that Superman posed? Loved it. The coolest part definitely was when Superman fought Barry in the .... speedforce-y thingy? (I know it was not INSIDE the speedforce, but how the hell do I describe that slow-mo-y, time stoppy thingy that illustrate Barry’s powers? Speedforce-y thingy it is)

Now back to Bruce. I love how he apologized (or at least tried to) to Diana for what he said about Steve and for poking at that wound. I love how he offered Diana that after that she can .... pretty much be Batwoman if she wants to be. Me thinks someone is rushing a bit ahead.  

I also adored Bruce’s comment of “now she’s glad” when Diana said that she too is happy that Superman could be there for the fight. Yea, those two had a really good argument about whether they should bring him back or not. 

Also, Lois being the “big guns” when it came to stopping Superman was just great. IDK how much time passed between Supes dying and coming back but I totally believe that Lois just didn’t care about reporting while she was mourning. To me their relationship is just... Like two people who are destined to be together and love each other a LOT but are still so new that they don’t have this “old married couple” level of comfort near each other. It is equal parts fascinating and awkward to watch mostly because I cannot decide if it is intentional or not. I felt that the writing was at its most awkward there. 

Also, let’s just talk a bit about that Lois being “thirsty” joke at the beginning. What the fuck is even up with that??? Clark, were you telling your Mum about your sex life or what??? I honestly don’t know how I feel about that even though I know that I should definitely swing towards “it’s bad and degrading”. Like there are only two possible explanations for that: Martha Kent is only pretending to like Lois or Clark was talking about stuff he was not supposed to with his Mum. Also maybe the “you smell good” line was meant to be a call back for that??? IDK, it did not fit. But the most awkward thing was how Lois switched from Clark trying to describe his death to how she has let him down. I am kinda inbetween, oh she just doesn’t want to remember that he ever died and oh, she wants to make it about her??? But to be honest, how do you talk with someone who just came back from the dead??? I would probably end up apologizing for “letting them down” with how I lived while they were gone as well. As I mentioned, this relationship has some growing pains. It will get there (or at least I hope so)

And now before I move onto the last two members of the League let me just say this last (hopefully) bit about Superman: I LOVED his red cape. It popped so well, and it looked so good?? I also adored the part where he changed into his Superman outfit at the end like with the iconic pulling the shirt open? I was kinda hoping that he was walking towards a phone booth but I guess not. Still was great. He is great.  Also also, it was great to see how when he returned to being him how different he was with Barry and how he joked calling him slowpoke and all (which, let’s be honest, he probably was bc for Superman to be able to catch up to the Flash when they went for the civilians, yea Barry is definitely still not used to his speed and therefore cannot reach max speeds yet). I loved how he teased him in their mid-credits race. Well, before it really, we didn’t get to see the race itself. Shame.

Now onto Barry. He was really played as socially awkward kid who dedicated so much of his time to trying to get his dad out of prison that he just forgot to live and never really was socialized well? I liked it. I saw some people comment on the weird way he runs, and yea it is weird, but I think it is part of the fact that he is still inexperienced with his powers. I felt like he was trying to mimic at parts how athletes run but failed miserably? I am sure it will get better now that his life will include some actual running (I don’t think he was doing much of that before)

He was getting a really nice mini-hero’s journey in the film, like the first person he ever saved was shown here, how he realized that now he can actually save people and just got the hang of it instantly. He got into his first fight here, which I would count as Superman, because with the parademons he wasn’t really in the fight, he just helped WW reach her sword. (but correct me if I am wrong). And that showed bc he just kept dodging and side stepping when he fought Superman and even with the parademons he tripped? So yea, definitely inexperienced but on the right track. 

And his powers look so cool? I just love how the blue lightning just lit up everything when he was using it? And when he triggered the motherbox it was so cool. I also feel like that all these super fast people just gave Snyder a really good excuse to use his slow-mo effects. It didn’t bother me, as a matter of fact I loved it whenever they just twirled the camera around these mostly frozen images. 

Now, the last member of the league I haven’t talked about yet is Cyborg and I was a bit worried. The design didn’t win me over in the first place, he looked really serious, unlike in the Teen Titans cartoon, and I was not sure if I will like it. But I did because he faced with the dilemma of becoming more and more robotic and not really knowing at first how to retain his humanity and I am really happy that Diana helped him come out of that bubble he put up around himself bc that might have just saved him. Also, how he and Barry kinda became buds by the end? I really liked the graverobbing scene as well. 

Now as for the other awesome stuff with Cyborg... I loved how he evolved at this rapid pace where new and new abilities manifested each day as he was being transformed. I liked how he got surprised by them when something new popped up. But the best part definitely was the hacking. Still, I think his best scene was with his father when he said something alongside the lines of how funny it is that his father thought that when he said that the people in the lab are not yet ready to see the monster his father thought he was referring to himself. That was a powerful scene. 

What awesomeness I still need to throw in here is Alfred. He is so sassy and so done with Bruce being single. I loved how he told Bruce when B said maybe Alfred could have called up Diana to ask if she wants to join the team that “ yea, I could have flown to Paris with a piece of paper saying ‘do you want to be my teammate? check yes or no’” savage. He is so bitter over B being single, like how usually mothers are portrayed when they really want to have grandchildren already?? I loved it. 

What else I also loved was how finally there were colours that popped? I already mentioned Superman’s cape, but his costume was brighter and bluer as well, Flash’s red costume really popped as well, Diana got a red cape as well in one scene and the lasso really emitted a bright light as well. Also, some scenes like the final battle where Diana cuts the axe and the air is full with these snowflake like particles are breathtakingly beautiful. Some others... yea, those flowers were really obviously CG. 

There was also this small cameo of a Green Lantern which got me excited that maybe we will have a Green Lantern (I am hoping for either John Stewart or Jessica Cruz, pretty please)  And in the end credits we see that Jesse Eisenberg’s Luthor is on the loose again, which I love bc I liked his Luthor in BvS (yes I know that it is not accurate to comic books but screw it, it worked for me. 

Now as for the stuff that might have bothered other people but barely if even registered with me: the jokes. yea, some were weak or I am not even sure if they were jokes (like Flash falling on Diana is like... was that a joke or just a portrayal of how clumsy Flash is still with his powers, his social awkwardness and his hero-crush all mashed together??? IDK). But overall, I liked them. I liked that I had moments of levity where I could laugh and have FUN. Because we still had the dramatic moments as well (and yes, they were better dramatic moments than anything Thor Ragnarök had. You wanna see too many jokes killing the drama? watch that.) 

The digitally removed mustache. I did not notice it all that much?? Like there were some moments where I was like... are you sure your face is supposed to look like that? But none of those moments pulled me out of the film. Diana’s clothing was like that as well. I heard some people say that she was wearing more revealing clothing now as Diana but I was not really watching for that so I really can’t tell if it is true. What I can tell, and what bothered me is that there is a scene where her skirt as WW flies up and you can see the bottom curve of her ass really clearly and.... That bit should have been taken out and they should have done a retake. There is something like good taste people. 

Steppenwolf being a kinda weak villain was like that as well. Him talking to the motherbox and calling it Mother was weird but in the good way. Made me just say, okay so this guy really is crazy. Also, he was kinda a two dimensional villain whose main goal was: amass power to become a new god (I guess) and really I was happy that we spent the time on the heroes instead of him. Evil guy tries to destroy the whole world. Got it. I don’t need more. Not from this film yet. (though now that I think about it... evil alien invasion lead buy a guy with a horned helmet that wants everyone to bow before him and has a cube... I think I saw this one before. Still works though). 

I LOVED the implication that he won’t be able to fight how his parademons in the end and that they will eat him alive. See, if I would have cared for him I would have felt bad about him or at least him being kinda permanently written out but this way? Bone appetite, parademons. 

I bet I could say even more, though this post is already definitely long and incoherent enough, so i will just leave with this: I ADORED this film, it will probably will be the first film I will pay to see in theatre twice. IDK what repeat viewing will do to the film but so long as I have Superman to look forward to I will be fine.  Overall, IDK if it is a better film than Thor:Ragnarök or not, but I definitely enjoyed and maybe even liked it better. I left the theathre feeling better after this film than I did after Thor Ragnarök, a film I will talk about as well. 

[thatothercosplayer]

“Yo! Ikura-hakase here.” She waves. “I know things have been quiet lately, but there’s good reason for that. We’re hard at work on our first ever Summer movie! Exciting, right?” Ikura grins. “Unfortunately, until we finish, posts will be rather sparse. So, for now, I’m going to present a Top 5 to fill in the void of our absence!” 

A whiteboard rolls up out of nowhere, which has five long magnets covering up spots on it. 

“So, if you know anything about me as a person, you’d probably know I’m a huge Metal Hero fangirl. I mean...hello, I made Kyusha. But have you ever wandered what my personal favorites are? Well, wonder no more! I’m here to count down my personal favorite Metal Hero series! I’m going to set a few ground rules here. Given that there are two trilogies and a duology in the franchise, I’m going to limit myself to one entry each. So I can only choose one Space Sheriff, one Special Rescue team, and one B-Fighter team.” She blinks. “....that is, if I do put them in. And one more thing- this is probably gonna change. I mean, seriously, my favorites kind of change depending on what I’m in the mood for, but I love them all.  

#5 - Space Sheriff Sharivan

“I’m going to go ahead and get it out of the way- I love Gavan because he’s the original, and Shaider is....” Ikura pauses. “....well, Shaider, but when it comes to the Space Sherriffs I have to go with my boy in red, Sharivan. After all, I took a lot of my inspiration for Kyusha from him. Laser pistol? Finishers that end in ‘Crash’? Check, check, double check.” 

She clears her throat. “Anyways, Den Iga was a forest ranger from Inner Iga island. He was attacked and mortally wounded by the Buffalo Doubler, and sent off to Planet Bird by Retsu Ichijouji for some medical assistance. Impressed by his courage, Commander Qom of the Galactic Union Police (who Retsu works for) trains Den and eventually he becomes Sharivan, showing up in the last battle against Makuu to bail Gavan out of a tight spot. Afterwards, he remains stationed on Earth to fight against the Madou Space Crime Syndicate. They’re a totally different organization that definitely isn’t a pale imitation of the Makuu Space Mafia. Nope.” 

Ikura taps her chin. “Honestly, what isn’t there to like about Sharivan? His striking crimson electro-plate armor is sure to make an impression, and his spaceship turns into a giant robot thing that...admittedly, looks like a vacuum cleaner with legs, but still manages to look cool. Somehow. Not to mention, his theme is easily the catchiest out of the three Sheriffs. Heeeey booooy~” She starts humming to herself.

#4 - Tokusou Robo Janperson

“If Jiban is the Metal Hero franchise’s answer to Robocop, then Janperson is it’s answer to Robot Detective. Y’know, one of the more forgotten Shoutarou Ishinomori shows from the 70s?” Ikura clears her throat. “Anyways, what does Janperson do? Well....he fights for justice. Seriously! Over the course of his adventures he tears through four different criminal organizations. Damn! Janperson doesn’t fuck around!” 

“One of my favorite things is the way he announces his presence. The bad guys could be in the middle of a meeting or plot, then all of a sudden, a golden card with a star on it is embedded in the ground at their feet! It’s a JP-Card, which means Janperson has arrived to kick ass and take names! One thing that’s interesting for Janperson is that he follows in the footsteps of the Special Rescue trilogy and mainly fights criminals. Occasionally he fights runaway robots or killer cyborgs, but Janperson mostly goes up against assassins, mobsters, etc. That said, though, he’s still got a crazy big arsenal to boot! Cannons, wire punches, missiles, and lots and lots of guns. No wonder he defeats four criminal organizations- he mowed them all down with his weapons!”

“Now, as for his appearance, he’s purple, which makes him stand out pretty well. He doesn’t transform so much as he throws off his civilian clothes and put a combat visor on his face. That’s it. Because....well, he’s a robot. So, he’s kind of always on duty as a result. I really love his car- the main section can split into a helicopter, while the car becomes remote-controlled and has a giant frickin’ cannon in it! Subtlety, thy name is definitely not Janperson.” 

#3 -  Choujinki Metalder

“So remember the Kikaider duology? The tale of two cyborgs fighting against evil while struggling with what it means to be artificial life? Well, Metalder is their cousin, and he’s pissed. Created by  Dr. Ryūichirō Koga as a secret weapon in WWII, and modeled after the Dr.’s dead son, Tatsuo Koga. The Doctor ends up shelving Metalder due to his pacifism, and fucks off to the United States to go work for NASA. Then, Koga’s old partner, Kunio Muraki turns super evil and becomes the wicked God Neros, who creates an empire of machines. Dr. Koga discovers this, and Neros begins working to kill him. It’s been 42 years since he hid away Metalder, and he reawakens him. Giving him the name Ryusei Tsurugi, the Doctor dies to Neros’ forces, causing Ryusei to get pissed and become Metalder for the first time.” 

“Phew! That’s a lot to talk about. Metalder is a story about revenge. During his quest to defeat the Neros Empire, Ryusei befriends many people and learns a lot about emotions, life, and the world he fights to protect. In the end, he sacrifices his humanity in order to save the world, losing his ability to fight in the process.”

“If there’s one thing I can give Metalder credit for, it’s how freakin’ brutal the fights can be. Since Metalder is a cyborg, and he fights other robots and cyborgs, there are a lot of times where gets torn open, loses a limb, etc. Likewise, his enemies get pretty beaten up, too- they don’t always die in explosions. Sometimes they just get beaten until they’re dead. While there’s plenty of your typical toku tropes- y’know, explosions, calling out your attacks, and finishers- Metalder does just enough to make itself stand out a bit more from the rest of the Metal Heroes. While a bit on the short end, it’s a good watch.”

#2 - Jikuu Senshi Spielvan

“The planet Clin is destroyed by the Waller Empire, which is searching for its deity. Two children survive and escape to Earth aboard a ship named the Grand Nasca. The two grow up during the long journey and arrive on Earth to begin fighting against Clin to make sure that the same tragedy isn’t repeated. Along the way, Spielvan searches for his missing father and sister.”

“You wanna talk about space epics? Spielvan is probably the greatest example in the franchise. Seriously, I love the opening of Spielvan just because of the epic scope of it. Spielvan did a few things for the franchise that hadn’t been done up to that point; while previous heroes had female sidekicks, they never joined them in battle. Well, that all changed with Diana Lady, who fought alongside Spielvan pretty regularly.”

“The two claims to fame that Spielvan makes after that is his signature double bladed Laser Blade, which I also took inspiration from for Kyusha! Alongside that is the arc of Spielvan coming to learn that Hellvira, one of the Waller Empire’s strongest agents, was actually his brainwashed sister! Eventually he saves her and she joins up alongside them, becoming Helen Lady. Though....her suit is just a slightly different version of Diana Lady’s. Pretty lame, right? Well, regardless, Spielvan is freakin’ awesome. But.....it doesn’t beat my absolute favorite...”

#1 - Tokkei Winspector 

“I tried. I really tried to pick something other than Winspector for my number one spot. I love Solbrain, I love Exceedraft, but I have a soft spot for the original Special Rescue Police team. They fight criminals who are a bit too much for the regular police to handle- those that use superweapons, cyborgs, or other threats to commit crimes. Atop that, they also perform rescue in situations that are a bit too delicate for firefighters or other rescue services. The team consists of one human and two robots; Ryoma Kagawa, Fire, who acts as the leader and main investigator. His two partners are Walter, a green flying robot, and Bikel, a yellow motorcycle robot who speaks with a Nagoya dialect.” 

“Honestly, everything I love about Metal Hero can be seen on display in this series. The futuristic setting, the hard sci-fi influences, the cool gadgets, the intrigue, it’s all there. And what’s even better, despite not having any monsters of the week for the first time in the franchise’s history, Winspector has a lot more room to tell compelling stories as a result. You get stuff like fighting to get a cure for a super rare snake’s venom, defending a boy from a killer cyborg condor, chasing runaway robots, or taking out mad inventors. Don’t forget that the ever great Takayuki Miyauchi sings the theme for the series, which he also does for the two sequels, Solbrain and Exceedraft. Honestly, I could talk all day about this series. What’s great is that, even today there are spiritual successors in the form of Rescue Fire and GoGoV. Definitely worth checking out if you want a bit of a change of pace.” 

Ikura claps her hands together. “Well, that’s my top 5! Maybe one day I’ll have Keiko, Yuna, or Hikaru do one of these. Wouldn’t that be fun?? Anyways, that’s enough for now. I’ve got to get back to work.” 

[fanfic-inator795]

Lego Batman Oneshot: Leagues Above

Plot: Sometimes it can be hard to feel like the best, toughest and most awesome superhero dad when you and your son are surrounded by other superheroes. But luckily, there’s still only one Bat-Dad.

((Yaaay, another Lego Batman fic ^v^ Hope you all enjoy! Also, mild spoilers for the movie))

Dick’s eyes widened as the crystal fortress came into view, its icy walls shimmering in the winter sunlight. “Wowwww...” He said in awe, pressing his face closer to the window of the Bat-Jet just so he could try and get a better look at it.

Batman, on the other hand, didn’t look impressed whatsoever. Honestly, what was so great about a house made out of ice and crystals? Sure, it was great if you wanted to be alone, but a huge manor or a dark cave was still MUCH cooler in his opinion. Besides, he had seen the Fortress of Solitude plenty of times. 

In fact, Dick had seen the Fortress once before too! But then again, Batman knew very well how excited his son could get about things - even things that he had seen or done before. And, considering what else they were going to be doing that day, Batman supposed he couldn’t blame the kid too much for being so ‘jazzed’. 

Within a few minutes, the Bat-Jet began descending, slowing down gradually until it finally landed on the soft snow below. As soon as the jet stopped, the dynamic duo jumped out, doing a flip in the air before landing themselves. 

“Alright, let’s go,” Batman said with a casual tone as he started leading the way. It was clear he wasn’t nearly as excited about this visit as Dick was, but at the same time he wasn’t completely dreading it either (even after he remembered the recent anniversary party incident). Definitely a bit of an improvement. 

It didn’t take long for Dick to catch up with him, though while he still seemed excited, the kid also started to feel nervous. “...Um, hey, Padre?”

“Yeah?” Batman asked, glancing back at his sidekick/son.

“Well, um... Do you think they’ll like me?” Dick asked innocently, “I mean, I’m still new at the whole superhero thing. And I’m not a Master Builder either, and... I’ve never really been the most popular, so-”

“Relax, kid,” Batman told him bluntly, though with a small smile, “Trust me, they’re going to like you. ...Pretty sure no one could hate you, actually.” Even some of their villains had ended up practically falling in love with the new Boy Wonder just because of how cute and sweet he was despite also being the one that helped defeat them and stop their evil plans. 

“Besides, they invited you, remember? It’s not like you invited yourself.” News of Gotham’s newest young hero and how he had helped saved the whole city had traveled fast, and given how surprising it was that Batman actually let someone help him, it didn’t take long for Superman to start sending emails and invites. “The rest of the League definitely wants to meet Robin, there’s no doubt about that, which means you’ve got nothing to worry about.” There was a pause. “...Except for being annoyed by Green Lantern. But yeah, that’s the only thing you have to worry about.”

Giggling a bit at that, Dick’s nerves started to fade a bit. “Okay,” he nodded, smiling slightly, “...Thanks Bat-Dad.”

Batman nodded back at him, and the two continued to trudge through the snow. Thankfully, it didn’t take the duo very long to reach the Fortress, and no sooner had they rang the doorbell did the giant door open. 

“Heyyy, glad you could finally make it!” Superman greeted, giving a quick wave to Batman (who had actually managed to hold back any scowling) before turning all his attention to Dick - whose eyes were already wide with awe. 

“Oh, uh, hi Mister Superman!” the boy greeted, “I’m Robin and, gosh, it’s just such an honor to meet you, sir!” An honor? Tc’ch. Batman couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at that, but still managed to keep quiet, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

Not noticing the eyeroll, the Man of Steel just chuckled. “Thanks Robin, it’s nice to meet you too. And hey, call me Supes.”

“Heh, alright, Mister Supes!” Dick grinned back at him. 

Still looking a bit amused, Superman opened the door a bit more, allowing the excited sidekick to run inside. “Cute kid, Bats,” he told Batman, directing his attention back to him, “Though I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t really expect you to be the fatherly type.”

“Yeah well, these things just happen,” the Dark Knight replied casually as he walked inside, “Like, sometimes you just wake up one day and think ‘Hey, I should have a son that can be my sidekick!’. And so, here we are.”

“...Uh, if you say so, bro. Anyway, come on-” Shutting the massive door, Superman then flew ahead towards one of the Fortress’ many corridors, “Robin and the others are probably wondering what’s keeping us.”

Given how many Justice League members there were, Batman hadn’t been sure how many of them would actually be there. Once they entered the icy living room though, he could see that there were only four other heroes there - which was probably for the best. They didn’t want Dick to get too overwhelmed, after all.

“Wow, I still can’t believe I’m actually meeting you all! This is incredible!” Dick told them, a huge (and adorable) smile still on his face, “Thank you so much for inviting me here!”

“Well, thank you for accepting, Robin,” Wonder Woman told him with a pleased smile.

“Yeah, don’t sell yourself short, little man!” Green Lantern added, “I mean, after we heard how you helped save Gotham-”

“Not to mention how you managed to get Batman to actually like working on a team-” Flash quickly mumbled.

“-We just had to meet you for ourselves!”

“Nice costume, by the way!” Cyborg told him, “Really diggin’ the cape!”

“Wow, really?! Thanks!” Dick said as he did a bit of a twirl, just to completely show off the sparkly garment, “I picked it out myself!”

“Nice!” Cyborg grinned as he and the other heroes nodded in approval. Even Batman couldn’t help but smile a little. Sure, the costume wasn’t dark whatsoever, but it was perfect for Dick, and that was all that mattered.

“Heh, looks like you’re already fitting in well here,” Superman spoke up, causing Dick to look back at him, “So how’s about we move onto the tour?”

“Oh wow, really?! I mean, I don’t want to be a bother. Plus, I’ve already sorta-” But before he could even finish his sentence, Superman grabbed Dick’s hand and lifted him up into the air, causing the young hero to let out a bit of yelp.

Which of course caused his father to immediately go into protection mode. “Hey!” Not even hesitating, Batman got out his grappling hook. As for his scolding words and a few choice insults for the Kryptonian, he was just barely holding them back. 

...However, before he could even take aim, he saw Dick’s expression of surprise turn into pure joy.

Not looking afraid whatsoever, Dick cheered as Superman continued to fly him around the living room. He ooh’d and aww’d at the beautiful crystals, and gasped at some of the vast landscapes and amazing views that could be seen through some of the windows or clearer crystals. “This is incredible! WOOOO!” “Heh, I know, right?”

“...” Slowly, Batman put his grappling hook away, though a small scowl still remained. “Well, maybe you should know that Robin probably could’ve gotten up there himself. Kid’s good at climbing and acrobatics and all that stuff so, you probably didn’t need to fly him around.”

However, even Dick ignored this statement. Clearly, flying was a lot more fun. “So,” Superman asked, “you ready to see the rest of the place?”

“YEAH!” Dick nodded eagerly, “I wanna see it all!” 

“Well, no problem there!” the Man of Steel proudly told him. Unlike another certain hero, he had almost nothing to hide. And, not wanting to miss his reaction to some of the other surprises the Fortress of Solitude had to offer, the other Justice League members easily took flight themselves to follow them (with the exception of Flash, though he was just as fast as them even if he was stuck on the ground).

All of the other members... except for one. “...I guess I’ll just, wait here,” Batman mumbled, his expression just a bit softer as he took a seat on the now-empty couch, “I mean, I’ve seen this whole place. Even memorized the schematics of it, so why would I wanna be part of the tour? Nope, I’m totally fine just staying here...” 

After all, he was used to being alone.

()()()()()()()()()()

“-And before I knew it, asteroids were just falling everywhere! It was, like, raining rocks or something! And all of them were heating up in the atmosphere and catching fire, I barely had enough ice breath to cool them all!”

“Gosh... So what happened next?!” the boy asked, completely focused on the story and practically dying to hear what happened next. But while he was impressed with the story, Batman clearly wasn’t.

Of course, Superman didn’t notice his rival’s disinterest. “Well, once I figured out where the asteroids were coming from,” he proudly continued, “I was able to fly right to the source and redirect it so that the asteroids would start flying near a red sun instead of Earth, which means they would either float by harmlessly or burn up. And, I still managed to make it back to Metropolis in time for lunch.”

Smiling, Dick sighed a bit in relief, glad to hear that the story had a happy ending. Then again, with Superman in them, they usually did. “Wow, being able to go to space whenever you want must be amazing!”

“Yeah, space is pretty great!” Green Lantern added, “You should see some of the Lantern Planets we’ve got out there! And hey, if you want we could probably take you out there sometime!”

Dick gasped. “Really?!” 

“Sure, why not?” Green Lantern shrugged, with Superman adding “We’d love to take you!”

“Of course, it’ll be after we see Themyscira,” Wonder Woman reminded them.

“Don’t forget Cloud Cuckoo Land!” Flash added.

“Buuut before that, we’ve gotta introduce you to the other League members,” Cyborg spoke up, “I know they’re just dyin’ to meet you, Rob! And hey, some of them are even around your age!”

“Whoa, really? Gosh, I can’t wait to meet them!” Dick grinned. Honestly, Batman wasn’t sure how the kid could even still smile, let alone grin, given how much he had been doing it in just the past couple hours. Clearly, Dick was enjoying the visit just as much as the other League members were. But even so- 

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be meeting you soon,” Batman finally spoke up, quickly getting everyone’s attention pretty much just out of surprise, “But, speaking of soon, I think we should be leaving soon, right? I mean, it has been a couple hours so-”

“Wait, can’t we stay just a bit longer?” Dick asked.

“Yeah, Bats,” Superman started to add, “It’s nearly lunchtime anyway so you might as well-”

“Well, we’ve got plenty of lunch back at the Batcave,” Batman retorted, “And I’m sure we’ve got other stuff to do. Tons of very important stuff that I can’t give details about because it’s just that important, so-”

“Pleeeease?” Batman scowled, nearly saying no. But of course, his son just HAD to bring out the cute puppydog eyes. “Just a bit longer!” Dick asked again, “Please, Padre?”

“...Ugh. Fine,” the Dark Knight agreed, albeit very reluctantly. Of course, Dick and the other heroes cheered at his answer. And, once lunch was decided on, it didn’t take long for their conversation to continue - and for Batman to once again become silent as he stood to the side of the couch. 

“Even if you can’t stay much longer,” Wonder Woman started to say, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I hope you know that you’re welcome to come to other Justice League get-togethers whenever you’d like, Robin.” 

Dick blinked. “I... R-Really?” he asked quietly. Even after their great visit, it was still a bit hard for him to believe just how much the Justice League actually wanted him. 

As for the others, they just smiled at him. “Yeah!” “Of course, little man!” “Why wouldn’t we?” “Trust us, you’re definitely Justice League material!” 

At that last comment, even Batman’s neutral scowl softened a bit. At least that was one thing he could agree with. However, his light smile didn’t last long. 

“Heh, w-wow... Thank you so much, guys!” Unable to help himself, Dick hugged Superman, and it didn’t take long for the others to happily join in on the group hug. “You guys are the greatest!”

“...” Slowly, Batman glanced away. Within a few seconds, the super-group hug broke apart and, at the Man of Steel’s suggestion, they started heading towards the Fortress’ kitchen. ...All while Batman blended himself into what little shadows there were, and walked to the front door...

Despite being in the Arctic, it actually wasn’t that cold outside. Or, maybe that was just the thick material of his costume helping out. Whatever it was, Batman was thankful for it. He had a feeling that he would be sitting on the Fortress of Solitude’s doorstep for a while - and while this certainly annoyed him, it still wasn’t enough for him to go back inside and force Dick to leave. ...Besides, there were always snow drawings and mini bat-snowmen making to keep him busy.

Eventually though, he did hear the giant door open behind him. Not even looking back, he bluntly said, “I’m not hungry, and I’m busy, so don’t bother asking.”

“...But-” Just that one word was enough for Batman to realize that it wasn’t Superman ,or any of the other League members, that he was talking to. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Dick looking back at him with concerned eyes.

“Oh... Uh, hey,” Batman greeted, his tone a lot softer now.

Dick forced a small smile back at him. “Hi... So, what are you doing out here, Padre?”

“Just, uh, doing stuff,” he answered, looking away again. He didn’t hear his son walk away though. He figured that Dick probably just wanted to find him so he could ask if they could extend their visit a couple more hours, or sleep over, or maybe he had decided to just move into the Fortress of Solitude...

But none of those questions ever came. Instead, Dick walked over and sat down in the snow beside him. “...How come you’re sitting out here all by yourself?” he finally asked.

Batman shrugged. “Just felt like it,” he replied, not wanting to say more than that.

“...But, I mean-”

“I’m fine,” he repeated, his voice just a bit more forceful now, though he quickly pulled it back “So just, head back inside, alright? Don’t let me ruin your fun.”

However, rather than being comforted by these words, Dick just looked more concerned. “You’re not ruining my fun... You’re not ruining anything! I-” The boy winced, “I, I’m sorry if I made you mad by asking if we could stay longer-”

“I’m not mad!” Batman insisted, feeling a pinch of guilt, “You didn’t make me mad!”

“Then, what is wrong?” his son retorted, his question innocent enough but with plenty of determination behind it to let his father know that he wasn’t going to take “Nothing” or another “I’m fine” for an answer.

“Ughhhhhh.” Even if he was slowly getting better at it, he still REALLY hated talking about his feelings. “I... don’t really fit into the Justice League,” he slowly admitted, “And, sometimes I want to, but other times I don’t. I’m used to working alone, you can’t always trust people, stuff like that... But...  You do fit in well.”

Dick stared at him, still not quite getting it, but holding back his questions so that Batman could continue. 

“You actually like hanging out with the League, and they like hanging out with you - just like I said they would, by the way. But yeah, you have fun with them, and I...” Batman glanced away. “If you’re with them, I’m not really needed... Er, which is fine! I mean, I can’t blame you. There’s a reason why the rest of the Justice League has almost as many fans as me, so-”

“Of course you’re needed, Padre!” Unable to help himself, the Dark Knight flinched at the sudden outburst, and quickly looked back over at Dick. “That’s why I wanted to find you! You weren’t there, and I wanted you to eat lunch with us!” he continued, “It’s not the Justice League without Batman! ...And it’s not a meal with friends if I’m not with my dad.”

“...” Batman stared at him, still a bit in shock, “But, I mean-”

“Maybe you aren’t as close to the League as you are to me and Grandpa and Miss Barbara and Joker, but... but they still like you, and I just know they want you around just as much as I do!” Dick told him, his determination on full display now. 

After a moment though, the boy’s expression softened a bit. “Mister Supes and the others may be great heroes - really great, even! - but you’re still the best! Because you’re Batman... Because you’re my dads, and I can’t think of any hero that’s better than them!”

There was a long moment of silence between the two of them, and for a moment, Dick worried that maybe his words had somehow done more harm than good. But eventually, Batman did smile. “...Do you really think they wouldn’t mind having a bat-themed vigilante join them for lunch?”

“Definitely not!” Dick insisted.

“Well... Alright then.” Kicking away the snow drawing of him punching the Joker that he had been working on, Batman stood up, and Dick quickly followed. However, before they headed back inside- “Hey kid?”

“Yeah, Bat-Dad?”

Batman’s smile grew a bit. “...Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better sidekick - or son - that’s better either.” Giving a bit of a teary smile at that, Dick happily hugged him. And of course, his father slowly yet happily returned the hug without any hesitation.

()()()()()()()()()()

“And then Batman came up with the idea to use our heads! Literally!” “It was a pretty great idea.” “Yeah, and so we built a bridge of people so we could reach across the gap and pull Gotham back together!” “Using the power of abs, of course.” 

Dick grinned, and nodded. “Yep! And that’s how we first saved the day together!”

“Geez, now that’s a story you’re not gonna forget!” Flash commented, with the others looking just as impressed, “I’ve heard a lot of first-save stories, but I think that one was one of the best! And that’s even when compared to mine!”

“Yeah!” Cyborg nodded, “Talk about an adventure!”

“And,” Wonder Woman added with a small smirk, “It also sounds like you made a bot of a change, huh Batman?”

Batman shrugged, though smirked a bit back at her. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I didn’t have much to change but, as for the few things I did change, well... I’d say they were changed for the better.”

“Heh, I could toast to that,” Superman told them. He grabbed one of the cupcakes that had been brought out for dessert and held it up in the air, with the others following his lead. “Here’s to Batman and Robin.”

“To Batman and Robin!” the others repeated, with the father-son duo clearly being the loudest. 

“And here’s hoping we’ll see them around again soon!” Green Lantern added, “I mean, I feel like I hardly get to hang out with the rest of you guys in general, but I see Batman even less than that!”

“Yeah well, when you work in the most crime-ridden city in the world, you’re pretty much busy every night,” Batman lightly argued, taking a quick sip of his drink, “But, I guess maybe I can try to take a day or two off to hang out.”

“Yea’, whe’ll d’phantly twy to c’mm ba’k soon!” Dick added, still chewing his cupcake.

“Good to hear,” the Man of Steel nodded, “Next time you guys come, I’ll have to pick up pizza because man, you haven’t lived until you’ve tried pizza from the Bizarro Dimension! It’s one of the few things that dimension actually improves on!”

A bizarro-pizza night with Superman and the rest of the Justice League? ...Huh. A few months ago, it never would’ve appealed to Batman at all, even if part of him did sort of wonder about what it would be like. But now... Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Hey man, as long as it’s not Phantom Zone pizza, I’m up for anything,” Flash joked, making the rest of them chuckle.

“Heh, yeah. ...Though, I still don’t understand how the Joker could have opened the Phantom Zone anyway, let alone entered it,” Superman wondered, “Hmm, maybe I should start keeping an eye him and those ‘toys’ he makes.”

Stopping mid-bite, Batman swallowed and scowled, preparing to tell Superman to keep his eyes on his own enemies. But before he could- “Oh, uh, I think that was because Miss Harley somehow got the Phantom Zone projector away from the police, after we-”

“Ahaaa, after we, uh, tried to stop the Joker from, uh, becoming too dangerous! Yeah!” Batman quickly interrupted as he put a hand in front of Dick’s face, “Which admittedly may have involved just a little borrowing and zapping into zones, but-”

“Whoa whoa, wait. Dude, did you-?”

Even as Superman started to scowl at him, Batman was able to easily ignore him, and was instead concentrating on stuffing the rest of his dessert into his utility belt. “Well, this has been fun but you know, it’s getting late, it’s nearly Robin’s bedtime, you know how it is.”

“Huh?” Dick blinked, “Wait, I thought you said there weren’t any bedtimes-?”

“Is that how the Joker did it? Wait, you came to my party just to steal-?!”

“Borrowed. Anyway like I said, this was a great time, really super,” Batman continued as he got out his grappling hook. Within a couple seconds, he aimed and shot it up towards the ceiling, “But like I’ve said we’ve reaaaaally got to get going. Later!”

“But it’s not even nighttime yet- Whoa!” As soon as Batman put an arm around his son, the two of them shot up into the air, easily escaping through a nearby window and leaving the rest of the Justice League behind with either confused or flat expressions on their faces.

“...Okay, maybe he’s still the same Batman,” Wonder Woman dryly commented while Superman just sighed, mumbling something about upgrading the security around his fortress.

“But, on the bright side,” Green Lantern told them, “At least he said that he had a great time!”

THE END

[sadhikamalladi-blog]

The Latest Superhero Movies

Introduction

So we've had two big blockbusters, one from Marvel and the other from DC, released recently. Thanks to MIT, I got to go watch them as advanced screenings, and I avoided the temptation of reading reviews/analyses/predictions/etc. To be honest, I had some issues with both of the movies, so of course I had to take to my (sparsely updated) blog to talk about them. SPOILERS AHEAD.

Thor: Ragnarok

Thor is a pretty cool character who's gotten two movies and now a third. He's a Norse god, which is always a refreshing change of pace from the modern society oriented heroes. Because of his ancient god status, Thor is supposed to be a bastion of ethicality and moralism. He's like Captain America, but before the nobility of war infected WWII-era comics.

Starlord, is that you?

So, imagine my surprise when Thor morphed into some kind of Starlord in this movie. From the establishing sequence itself, Thor is some kind of glib hero, taunting villains to do more and destroy more. Okay, so you might think this is just Thor modernizing. First of all, Thor shouldn't modernize, that's the point of Thor (see above). But, also, it just doesn't make sense. There is nothing that Thor values above Asgard. He loves its people, its land, its philosophy, and so on. For him to risk damage to that land by taunting villains seems rather unnecessary.

Every superhero film has an element of entertainment that comes from beyond their powers. For example, we like Iron Man because his technology is cool and he's kind of an asshole. We like Captain America because his idealism is refreshing when we're all so jaded. With Thor, the humor comes from his lack of understanding of modern society. He's confused by Earth and people and their priorities.

I get that they couldn't really do that in this movie. It was supposed to take place on Asgard, primarily, so Thor was going to be completely in his element. But, they really didn't have to make him into Starlord/Spider-Man (in Civil War/Amazing) or whatever else they based this on. It was so jarring.

Where was Asgard?

The majority of the movie took place on some random planet that was not Asgard. Okay, sure, Asgard is kind of boring with not much to do there. But I really didn't like this random planet and the way that they introduced it. Things felt a lot more plausible when they did it in the comic books.

Cool Cameos

This movie did have some cool cameos, which I thought saved it. Doctor Strange and the Hulk strengthened the bond of the Marvel Universe (the key element that makes DCU have worse movies), and they added some awesome entertainment value. It wasn't really clear how the Hulk ended up on some alien planet though. And he was a complete mess.

Mjolnir

Okay so Mjolnir was basically MIA this movie. Which really sucked. Thor is not much without Mjolnir…supposedly he's an upstanding moral god but they took that away from him too. It did enable some major character growth as Thor discovered his powers without the hammer. (Side note: this prompts me to wonder if there will be a fourth Thor movie given the fact that the key enemy strategy — take away his hammer and pray — has been reduced to shreds)

Heimdall

It was cool to see Idris Elba back…it really strengthened the Thor movie. He also made it even more clear that Thor's morality had diminished so much in this movie. You know it's bad when the gatekeeper seems to be more of a leader than the king.

Overall Feelings

It was a real Guardians of the Galaxy reboot, honestly. They just went to a different planet and messed around for a bit. Most of that planet was nauseating and boring. They could've done a lot more with a huge event like Ragnarok. The ending was awesome though and broke from the Marvel-esque tradition of "destroy as much as possible but never change tactics."

Justice League

We all had high hopes, even if we pretended that we had low hopes. The movie was better than I thought it would be, but it still had a lot of problems.

Superman

We all knew Superman wasn't going to stay dead. But, we didn't know that Superman was so overpowered. He took out the rest of the Justice League like they were babies. I get that they wanted to justify the revival (and the effort it took to get to the revival) of Superman, but there's no way he's that good. He's definitely not comparably fast to the Flash...

The Flash

Spider-Man? Is that you? From the Civil War movie? They really outfitted the Flash with the same personality as Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War. He was inexperienced, scared, funny, and lost most of the time. It was enjoyable…when Marvel did it the first time. Now it just felt kind of forced and obviously copied.

Aquaman

Oh, Aquaman. He really did not contribute much to this film. He was angry (at Cyborg) for the most part, but he didn't really have any skills. At some point, Bruce Wayne entreats him to speak to the fish and he's just kind of rude about it. Also, speaking to fish and moving water is kind of dumb when most of the movie was on land. I really think they would've been fine without Aquaman. Though, his introduction provided some awesome visuals.

One-Liners

What in the world were the writers thinking when they made these one-liners? Almost all of them were pointless and added no cool factor or information to the scene. Even when Superman shows up in the last fight scene, he says some trash that just made me look around and see if anyone actually listened to the words in these things.

Wrapping Up

Well, they tried. And they're going in the right direction. If they'd just make individual films for each of the characters before making team-ups, then we'd all be a lot more interested. It's hard to fit an origin and a plot into a single movie without displeasing anyone.

Conclusion

Superhero movies are fun, but we want more.

[wionews]

Justice League review: Ezra Miller as Flash saves film, to some extent

I grew up in the 1990s when superheroes meant only Superman, Batman and Spiderman. The DC comic stars were the introduction to the superhero universe for a lot of us. As we grew up and read the Marvel and DC comic books, we got introduced to many more. In the cinematic universe, there were films made on Superman and Batman and it was easy to pick your favourite superhero.  With changing times, the superhero universe got bigger cinematically and while Marvel adapted, modified to the changing times, DC comic universe somewhat stuck to its conventional ways. In the past few years, there has been a gamut of Marvel movies - each enjoyable and highly entertaining while post-Nolan's Batman series, there has been a serious void from the DC Comic universe on the big screen. Some would argue that there have been the Superman series but were those films even a patch on what Marvel factory was churning?  Zack Snyder, who is credited for Man Of Steel and 300, created a disastrous, melodramatic Batman Vs Superman in 2016. Perhaps learning a few things from his past mistakes, Snyder's latest - The Justice League, attempts at salvaging the now sinking DC comic cinematic universe. But the film only manages to do so in parts.  The film takes off from where Batman Vs Superman ended. With Superman dead, Batman and Wonder Woman are left to defend an evil gigantic force who goes by the name of Steppenwolf. The half man-half bull has acquired the three mother boxes- which basically stores all of the universe' energy - which when brought together can cause excessive destruction the world over. So the two 'veterans' decide to rope in three rookie superheroes- Cyborg, The Flash and Aquaman. And when these five realise that their collective forces aren't enough to fight the villain, they bring back Superman from the dead. Yes, literally.  To its credit, Justice League has an impressive set of actors playing their parts well. They also infuse an underlying humour which creates some genuinely funny moments but when you think of the film in its entirety, there is so much more that could have been done with the film. Among the actors, its Ezra Miller- as The Flash, who stands out with his quirky lines. Miller gets to say the best lines in the film and you find yourself rooting for him the most. Its also refreshing to see a superhero so openly discussing what all he is afraid of and Miller makes The Flash quite nonchalant and cool. There is also the wonderful Gal Gadot as the Wonder Woman who at many moments literally saves the film from becoming a drag.  The narrative takes too much time to establish the real plot and second half is quite a drag except for the scenes where Miller sparkles as the star-struck superhero fan. In fact, Miller and Affleck's scenes will sort of remind you of Tom Holland and Robert Downey Jr's scenes in Captain America: Civil War. See what DC is doing here?

The plot is predictable like all superhero film plots are. The action scenes lack freshness and the background score is just about average. One can't help but draw comparisons to the thoroughly entertaining Thor: Ragnarok which released just two weeks back. And Justice League fails in comparison to a lot of other superhero films but it isn't necessarily a bad film. It is tedious but is also enjoyable in parts. But then why should ardent DC comics fans settle for something average. The film should be mindbogglingly awesome, no?

Rating: 2.5/3  

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