#dcastiktoks

[queerbutstillhere]

Bruce: I saw you trying to steal my car tires!

Jason: wait! It's not- it's not what you think!

Bruce, slamming down adoption papers: I WONT HESITATE, BITCH!

[queerbutstillhere]

Canon Bruce: fuck you, my child is completely fine!

His Children: *each have various mental illnesses, ptsd, a slew of physical injuries at any moment, issues regarding authority/parents, trust issues, represses emotions, had a fucked up childhood, was allowed to go out fighting crime as a young child dressed light a stoplight*

[queerbutstillhere]

Tim, standing at Jason's doorway: Jay. . . Jay. . . Jay!

Jason, waking up: wha- what?!

Tim: hey, can I sleep here tonight?

Jason: what, why?

Tim: I think I saw a monster in my room

Jason, yawning: it was probably just a shadow.

Tim: Jay I swear-

Jason: can you get out?

Tim: fine- *leaves*

Jason: hey, close my doo-

Tim: *screaming* *runs past the door*

Jason: Yo what the-

Damian: *goes running past with a sword*

Jason: oh shit-

[queerbutstillhere]

Bruce, on a video call: Welcome back to the meeting, today we will-

Dick, in the background: How could you disrespect our family like this!

Jason: YOU TRIED TO POISON ME!

Bruce: Ignore my family in the background, today we will-

Damian: TIM GET YOUR GAY ASS OUT OF HERE NOW-

Tim: *incoherent screaming*

Bruce:... today we will be discussing the budget.

[queerbutstillhere]

Tim: here's a perfect example of how my brother lives and how I live-

Tim: hey man, do you wanna go shooting?

Jason: yeah, Alright!

Tim: Alrighty, I got my camerraa- what are you doing?

Jason: *holding a shot gun* Oh? oh. Ohhhhhh.

[queerbutstillhere]

Jason: *walking into the bathroom* don't you just hate it when-

Microwave: *beeps*

Jason: what are you doing?

Roy: *sitting on the floor in front of the toliet, microwave on the toliet lid*

Roy: making pizza rolls

Jason: ..... Can I have some?

[queerbutstillhere]

"I would die for you"

Dick: I would never allow that

Jason: you will.

Tim: Not if I die first

Damian: Then perish.

[queerbutstillhere]

Jason: *banging on the door*

Dick: Open up! It's the Police!

Jon: No!

Dick: *surprised and confused* And why not?

Jon: *hiding behind Damian* because you guys are gonna yell at me!

[queerbutstillhere]

Jon: my boyfriend is wonderful, i listen to everything my boyfriend says.

jon: i don't mean that he bosses me around(he does), i listen to everything he says because before i had a boyfriend, I never had someone always standing next to me who can just point out obvious things that are happening.

Jon: we'll be at a restaurant and he'll be like

Damian: you ordered your food an hour ago! It should be here by now.

Jon: and im like, "YEAH! It should be!"

Jon: its like having a lawyer for every day life, he'll be like.

Damian: The bus driver shouldn't talk to you that way.

Jon: and I'm like "NO HE SHOULDN'T!"

[queerbutstillhere]

Jason: *watching his family mess with his equipment*

Jason: you bitches are playing a dangerous game! Touch my shit and I'll put you in the freezer!

Jason: *swinging at them with a crowbar* go on! Make like a tree and fuck off!

[queerbutstillhere]

Villian: We have your wife!

Kon: *looking directly at Bart* uh. I don't think so?

Villian: Then whose this chick with the blonde hair saying you'll make us pay for this?

Tim: OH MY GOD THEY HAVE CASSIE

Kon: YEAH SHE'S NOT MY WIFE BUT IM STILL GONNA COME KICK YOUR ASS

Based on a conversation with @hyperactive-lectiophile

[queerbutstillhere]

Tim, sleep deprived: One day.... I'll fight God.

Red Tornado, concerned: I'm not sure how to help you with that...

Tim: Same, Bitch *laughs*

[queerbutstillhere]

Stephanie: In case you needed a reminder that men ain't shit, just know that when I have told them I am depressed, on two separate occasions I have had guys respond with- "why are you sad, you have great tits".

Stephanie: like- Sir I am AWARE. This changes nothing!

[queerbutstillhere]

Jon: When my husband and I walk down the street, he does not give a shit what anyone thinks of him, in any situation. He's my hero.

Jon: when I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It's exhausting.

Jon: My Husband once said that walking around with me was like walking around with someone whose running for Mayor of Nothing.

[queerbutstillhere]

If you think Dick Grayson doesn't have a Nightwing TikTok in which he posts dumb shit his siblings/friends do AND a bunch of dance and acrobatics videos doing things that should not be humanly possible, you are 110% wrong and I'm here to educate you.

[queerbutstillhere]

Bart: I firmly believe all the best stories happen at WalMart self checkout, I was there at 3 in the morning one time buying Froot Loops, and there was a tall, tall biker dad there and his little 9 year old daughter.

Bart: And when buying my Froot Loops, I dropped them. And I said "fuck! my loops!" And I remember, like, in the back hearing-

Jason: "Yeah! Dont be afraid to speak!"

Bart: And I was like, "What?" And he was like,

Jason: "Youre angry, about your cereal. Say it. Say Fuck with your chest!"

Bart: And I was like, "...Fuck!" and his little daughter was like

Lian: "Yeah, JayJay lets me say Bitch!"