#dearest anon.◇
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Sorry if this is weird but did you ever play a game called host? It was a flash game made by the creator of Binding of Isaac. I played it in the late 2000’s on Newgrounds
Hello, not weird at all!
Unfortunately I did not play that game, I've only ever played Binding of Isaac. I hope to play some of his other games in the future though, I've heard great things about Super Meat Boy and The End Is Nigh!
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(not requests! just thoughts) GAWD I cannot stop thinking about john. I hate that man SO MUCH!!!!! but freeuse!john being busy, attempting to finish a mission report late at night and drunk!user legit just finds him and rides his face until content. He doesn't even bother to argue about it, shutting his eyes and planting his hands on their hips while eating them out until they're shaking and has a droopy smile plastered on their face. OR... AND STAY WITH ME... Perv!user being caught in his room........ either huffing his boxers or humping his pillow, I don't know, but I can just imagine him grabbing them by the hair and forcing them to look at him while he just absolutely insults them, saying how they're such a slut, so nasty and gross, how they make him feel repulsed and user just absolutely gets off from it.
anyways, love your writing! make sure to take breaks bc you're legit my fav author and it'd kill me to see you burnt out <3 -🧣
perv!reader is precious to me bc they’re so pathetic and so genuinely strange about it, so warped in their own little world where it makes perfect sense to do the most deranged shit in the name of love, even when no one asked. especially john — especially a man like that, mean and careless in ways he’ll apologize for with a kiss to your temple and a slap on the ass before going right back to it.
and of course you start worrying. because that’s what you do, right? pacing the kitchen at night while he’s out too long. staring at your phone. wondering who he’s talking to, who he’s thinking about. and he’ll always come back, eventually — but what if one day he doesn’t?
that’s when the jar happens.
it starts without a plan. a little leftover in a condom he couldn’t be bothered to tie off, a streak of it across your stomach you wipe up with trembling fingers. you should clean up properly. you don’t. because it’s his, and it feels wrong to wash it down the drain. so you scrape it up, gather what you can, glass jar trembling in your hands.
and it’s disgusting. it’s pathetic. it’s the sort of thing no normal person would ever dream of doing. but you’re not normal, are you? you’re his.
it doesn’t take long for it to become routine. an ugly little ritual you tell yourself is harmless. collect it in the dark when he’s asleep, when he’s gone, when he pulls out to finish across your stomach with a grunt and a slap of your thigh. sometimes you even bait him into it, mouthy and difficult until he’s pinning you down and using you like he’s angry about it, which he probably is. you act like you hate it. you don’t.
the jar fills slow. little bits at a time. cloudy white streaks clinging to the glass. and you tell yourself you’ll stop soon, you’re just being cautious, just a backup plan. but then comes the night he leaves for two days without telling you.
and that’s when you break.
pour a little inside you, trembling fingers slick with it. tell yourself it’s to calm down, that you’re just keeping him close. it’s not even fresh but it doesn’t matter. feels good. feels like possession, like some sick little claim you get to keep when he’s not there to fuck it into you himself.
and you sleep better like that, full of him.
when he comes back, you don’t tell him. you just fuck him mean and desperate, biting his shoulder when he calls you a crazy bitch because he still comes inside you anyway. still tells you you’re his when you make him. still leaves you aching and ruined and grinning into the pillow.
ANYWHO THIS GOT TOO LONG LOVE YOY MORE DW IM IMMUNEE TO BURN OUT,
#.ᐟ.ᐟ#my dearest perv! reader#🧣 anon .ᐟ#might as well tag this#⤷ john walker#john walker thunderbolts#john walker mcu#john walker x reader#john walker smut#john walker marvel#john mcu#john walker#thunderbolts#thunderbolts*#marvel#mcu#afab reader#female reader#john walker has a fat ass
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My apologies for being nosy, but were you and your roommate able to find an apartment or are you still looking?
#we've been in our old apartment until now as we were luckily able to extend the lease a bit u _ u#for which we are incredibly thankful#thERE IS... STILL SO MUCH TO DO...#MOVING IS SO HARD#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#asks#anon#we are... DOING OUR BEST#most of my shit is PACKED at least its just.. still gotta be... MOVED...#also my dearest darlingest most beloved roommate oWNS SO MUCH SHIT JESUS CHRISTTTTTT
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Hello Dearest, (◕ᴗ◕✿)
I was wondering if you know any Trey x Reader fan fics? He's my absolute favorite and deserves more love, if it could be an established relationship or life after NRC where they are married that would be simply lovely! Thank you so much, and have a splendid day/afternoon/night. ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
hello anon /ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\
domestic headcanons by viviennevermillion
the way of the chef husband by night-raven-tattler
recorded proposals by kangen-wanshi
acquired tastes by zgvlt
as househusbands by linawritestwst
"is it casual now?" by solxamber — two, three
romantic experiment by cheapshrimpysheep — two
beside you by alexisomnia
lucky clover by ceruleancattail
in which y/n calls over trey at 3 am due to an emergency by wolken-himmel
all i want for my birthday by 38riku
cupcake catastrophe by spadecentral
caught by italoniponic
moss green by cloudcountry
ode to the three of clubs by hisui-dreamer
"will you marry me-" "we can sue them for this!" by mochinomnoms
the summer after graduation by starboyshoyo
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... oh wow that's a lot 😹 didn't think it would be much, it definitely looked so little in my notes app. enjoy, anon! 🃓
#r. lost n found#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#trey clover x reader#ngl Trey tsum scare me 😹 i never thought a toothbrush to be scary until Trey tsum held it like a weapon#dearest anon
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Sorry, as a person who's barely 5 feet tall god I love thinking about Wilbur fucking the absolute shit out of me 🤭
Omg the sized diffrence..
Someone please write this.
“No Wil- fuck!- ‘s too big, I can’t!” You cried out as Wil placed his cock at your entrance, moaning out as he slowly pushed into you. He was towering over your form, smirking down at you as he advanced further.
“Yes you can baby, doing so good for me.” Wil said as he threw his head back, you tightening around him as he continues to slowly push in further and further. He continued to push in until he finally hit your cervix, a little more than half of him inside of you, a bulge appearing in your stomach. “Holy- fuck you’re so small baby. Can’t even fit inside you.” Wil moaned as he sat there for a moment, taking everything in. How tight you were, how big he wasn’t against you, how we could fuck you dumb in five seconds.
As he lifted his eyes to look back at your face, he had to stop himself from moaning at the sight. Your eyes were rolled back as your mouth was slightly agape. your head lulled to the side as your hips twitched against his, searching for more.
“Doing so good baby, fucking hell- you’re already drooling! That desperate for my cock baby? Gonna split you in half fuck!” Wil groaned as he started to thrust in and out of you, watching his cock move in and out as the bulge reappeared when he pushed into you .
As you both got comfortable with his size and the way you felt, Wil grabbed you by your hips, slipping out of you as he flipped you over on your stomach. Pushing back into you, he started thrusting harshly as he gripped your shoulders and pulled you up against him. Your head lulled back onto his shoulder as Wilbur gripped your throat with his free hand, the other placed on your lower stomach, pressing against the bulge and groaned at the new found tightness.
“Like being fucked dumb like the slut you are? Drooling all over the place just from how big I am? I’m the only one that can make you feel like this love and you know it. I’m the only one you need.” Wilbur groaned as you reached down and gripped his hand in yours as you let out a broken whine.
Your hips twitched and your hand gripped his tighter as you approached your orgasm faster. You turned your head to hide your face in his neck, a pornographic moan leaving your mouth as you came around him, your body meeting his thrust as you chased the high.
“Such a fucking whore. Couldn’t even wait five seconds for me-“ Wilbur hissed as he pushed you back onto the bed, your body limp as he held your body down and fucked into you.
His groans got louder as he thrusted inside you a couple more times before stilling inside you, thrusting a couple more times inside you, pushing him cum deeper inside you.
Pulling out of you, Wil pulled your hips up, making your back arch deeper as his cum came flowing out of you. He brought his fingers up and pushed the cum that fell out back inside you, and thrusted them inside you a few more times for good measure.
As your breathing settled down, you were manhandled back over to lie on your back once more as Wil settled in between your legs, kisses being placed on your inner thighs as placed your legs on his shoulder.
“Hope you didn’t think we were done love.”
#I had fun with this.#lilly writez.#lilly answerz.#anon dearest <3#wilbur soot smut#wilbur soot imagine#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur x reader#wilbur soot#x reader
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Trick or treat!🎃🎃👻
Happy (belated) Halloween anon!🎃👻❤️
Have some Hector to give you some candy! And Paris and Cassandra are here too :D Cassandra isn’t muttering anything cryptic about you burning down their city, so take that as a win! And take some candy too 🔥🍭
#the Iliad#hector of troy#paris of troy#cassandra of troy#deadbaguettesart#deadbaguettesask#my dearests! hope u don’t mind them anon haha#trick or treat
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gifted kid culture is having never learned how to study
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A relationship with Keegan would consist of the following:
Keegan wondering how the hell he managed to get you to be with him. This was after the relationship was made official.
Keegan absolutely having a pet name for you. You just don't know it. Yet. And it's mushy as hell, too.
Him being a lot more touchy-feely with you in the comfort of your own abode than in public.
To piggyback off that last point, people will never know it but he'd feel absolutely touched-starved when he's away from you, especially for long periods of time.
Realizing Keegan is more sentimental than you thought. There are moments where he feels tongue-tied and can't exactly voice how he feels so the next best thing is to text them to you. Randomly. Throughout the day. Feels good, huh?
Witnessing the spectacle that is Drunk Keegan profess his love and be all over you. Or Keegan staring into your soul and telling you he loves you. Or Keegan going to hold you but completely missing the mark and keeling over.
Getting him to try new things with you, whatever they may be. He's so adorable when he's bumbling along.
Dressing up as Keegan for Halloween once and he doesn't know if he should be impressed that you got it right or mortified... that you got it right lmao. Does he really act and sound like that?
Going to fairs and amusement parks for the express purpose of using Keegan to win stuffed animals.
Getting him hip to your skincare regimen, made especially so because his line of work can be hard on the skin and double-cleansing gets all the dirt out, okay?
Keegan practically bear-hugging you as soon as he gets home. Loves to bury his face into the crook of your neck, too, because your scent is comforting to him.
Never finding out what the P stands for so you make a game out of changing the name every time. The latest one is Penelope.
Booping his nose randomly. Just 'cause. And because he scrunches it up so cutely when you do so.
Loving the way he melts into you when you hug him from behind.
#2queued4u.#call of duty: ghosts#keegan p russ#keegan p russ x you#keegan p russ x reader#call of duty x reader#call of duty x black reader#cod x reader#cod x you#cod x black reader#for you dearest anon who wanted to see some more Keegan!
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anon from here https://www.tumblr.com/chosonie/772063983500918784/i-loved-talking-to-you-years-ago-and-i-hope-i-can?source=share
i was a different anon
thank you for clarifying! ♡
anyway, my dms are always open but no pressure, whenever you want to chat !! 🫶💕

#Ngl i feel a little bad now bc i also know its partly on my end probably; 2024 was a *VERY* hectic year for me & i myself feel like i lost#some connections with others :( but i too am ready to get back out there this year! Im hoping to be as active as i was in like 2023 lol :3#inbox.◇#dearest anon.◇
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I always love a jealous tommy fic. There's so much to explore there. Did he and steve "practice" when they were younger? How does he feel now seeing steve almost blatantly hanging off of another man (eddie or billy, or both hehe)? It's so delicious that tommy in canon obviously assumed steve would always be His, that he was bound to be asshole king steve with tommy forver, and then steve went and changed. Replaced him with someone else. Discarded him. I love when it's so obvious that tommy didnt even maybe respect steve as a person, just the roll steve "the hair" harrington was and now, seeing steve be allowed to just be himself, shamelessly, with another man must make tommy's blood boil. He missed his chance
Tommy felt like he would puke.
There Steve was, laughing so loudly and sweetly with Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson on both sides of him, looking at him with such loving eyes that Tommy would love to rip them off and spit on them.
The three of them were hanging at their schools parking lot, Steve perched on top of his beemer as the other two leaned on it. The freak had clearly made some type of joke, because Steve was letting out a ’You’re so funny, Eds!’ as he tried to catch his breath.
The nickname made Tommy fume with rage.
Eds? What the actual fuck was Tommy hearing?
Four years back he and Steve would make fun of that guy, even bullying him a little when he started to wear those freaky ass clothes. People rumored him being into Satan or some shit and Steve and Tommy totally bought it as they laughed at him in the hallways.
And now Steve was throwing himself at the guy as he leaned towards him, hand lingering a little bit too long on the older man’s shoulder.
Tommy saw how Billy, the asshole who had dropped him almost immediately once he got to know Steve, moved his hand to rest on Steve’s thigh in a friendly way from other curious eyes, but Tommy could see through the bullshit.
He knows what those three are. What they do together.
They aren’t just friendly buddies who come together about sports and music and talk about hitting on girls.
They’re together. Partners of some sort which makes Tommy fucking sick in his stomach.
He knew Eddie was into guys the second he saw the freak, Billy probably too, but he wasn’t that sure.
It was only confirmed when he saw the way Billy looked at Steve the first time they showered together after PE.
Everyone looked at Steve once that way. With desire and want.
Wanting to have a taste of The Steve Harrington. Of the King. The rich pretty boy with the charm no one had.
Tommy knew it the best, because that’s how he had felt.
He had felt it when him and Steve had kissed for the first time, hands lingering on each other’s body when Steve had carefully leaned down and put those soft lips onto his.
Or when he had fucked Steve the first time. Those eyes so huge as they stared up at him when Tommy had clumsily lined his dick into the other’s waiting hole. And oh did those eyes go huge as Steve took him in so well, like no one has after him. How he had begged for Tommy’s name, told him he loved him.
And Tommy had loved him back.
Still fucking did.
But then he had fucked it up. Played with the other’s feelings, fucking up with his head which eventually made Steve leave him, his best friend, for fucking Nancy Wheeler. Things had broken that little head of Steve’s too many times and he had finally shattered, showing that sensitive and humane side of him that Tommy knew he was always hiding behind his King Steve persona.
The side he had hated. Because he liked it when Steve was mean.
He blamed the hits Jonathan Byers had given him.
That maybe those made a screw inside Steve’s head loose because how could he ever even think about leaving Tommy like that? After everything?
But he had.
And it made Tommy furious. Sad. Jealous.
Because that should’ve been him up there with Steve right now. Holding onto the boy's thigh and maybe kiss a little if no one was around.
Tommy would give him all the attention he needed. Would’ve fucked him so good no one else would’ve mattered. Steve would’ve never even thought about spreading his legs to Eddie Munson or Billy fucking Hargrove.
Just for Tommy.
”What’s up your ass?” Carol asked, focused on putting her disgustingly sweet lip gloss on, but not enough to not catch Tommy’s suddenly grumpy vibes.
”Nothing.” Tommy groaned out and took a bite of his sandwich.
It tasted bitter now.
Carol brushed it off, going back to chatting with Tina who was sitting beside her, oblivious to whatever Tommy was doing. Not like she really cared. Tommy was sure they’d break up soon, again.
Not that he’d mind.
He glanced back towards Steve and gritted his teeth when he saw the trio start to get in Steve’s car, all happy and smiley because they had ’so much fun’ together.
Ugh.
He didn’t miss how Munson patted Steve’s ass softly when he was bending down to the passenger seat and wait… what the fuck?
Was Billy fucking driving Steve’s car?
Steve never let anyone else drive it. He was too afraid to. Never trusted anyone else with it because his Daddy would get mad if it had even a small scratch on it.
Tommy never drove it.
And that pissed him the hell off, because Billy Hargrove of all people can?
The man with three fucking speeding tickets?
His blood was boiling.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the car.
Not even when his eyes locked with those big brown ones that suddenly looked worried when Tommy didn’t look away.
#I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS DEAREST ANON#I looove jealous tommy as well! Can’t believe I haven’t written him in so long#TOO BAD BABY BOY BUT STEVE GOT OTHER MEN NOW#steve harrington#tommy hagan#eddie munson#billy hargrove#stommy#harringroveson#metalsandwich#stranger things#my writing#prompt#ask#anon
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DARLING DOVE WHERE ARE YOU GIRLLLL 😭😭
#stagefright posts#I MISS MY DEAREST#golden ☆ anon#jiraiblr#landmineblr#jiraiblogging#landmine blogging#lifestyle jirai#landmine type#landmine#jirai lifestyle#jirai#landmine kei#landmine girl#landmineblogging#landmine jirai#jiraikei#jirai kei#jirai girl
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Hello again dearest! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
I was absolutely thrilled and I would like to thank you again for finding all of those Trey Clover x Reader Fan fics! You're an absolute delight dear!
Anyways, If you have enough time... Could I perhaps ask for help in regards of finding any character x FEM!reader in which they are at the pool / beach? It's dreadfully hot where I live right now..that's all dearest! Thank you so much have a good day/afternoon/night! Don't forget to drink water as well 😽
hello again 😸
it's a beach episode by coralinnii
peaceful midnight stroll by it-happened-one-fic (jade)
the color purple by pandoa (jamil)
beach episode! (reblog) — two, three, four, five, six
sweet shroud summer event masterlist by cloudcountry (idia)
running through the ocean by spadecentral (jamil)
pool floats by crow-stars (jade)
plead the fifth by yuri-is-online
no, no breathing by mcdonaldsnumberone
crowley takes y/n on a nice vacation by wolken-himmel — two
beach date with floyd by twstdreams
summer shoreline event masterlist by briarvalleyarchives
dorm leaders in the summer with their s/o by kimbap-r0ll — two
azure eave (reblog)
summer nights with housewardens + jamil by solxamber
beach day with octavinelle by twst-headcanon
you sound like the sea by nonsensical-twistedriddles (malleus)
blackcherryvelvet0909 has a lot of beach/summer themed fics in their profile under the twisted wonderland: beach episode mini series tag!
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mm i would love another beach episode right about now..
careful with the heat, anon! make sure to stay hydrated! enjoy 😸
#r. lost n found#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#i'm gonna change your name#you are now..#dearest anon#🫶
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They finally did it everybody they said the thing!!!!!!!
"How much do you love Charles Xavier?"
"HOW DARE YOU ASK ME SUCH A QUESTION???!!!??!!?!!??!!??!!!"
HE SAID THE THING !!!!!!!!!!
#snap chats#top five most famous moments in cherik history congratulations anon im glad youve seen it in real time ...#i should rewatch that episode. and the christmas one. and evolution's christmas episode...#i wanted to doodle a silly comic about 92's christmas ep <- has been wanting to do this since like what october#i dont think ill be able to do it ... so tragic....#anyways this moment is still peak to me i gotta watcht this scene again AT LEAST#i think i got it in my twitter bookmark underneath like. ninety bullshit posts vJAELKVJAERKLJ#i at least know the timestamp on the actual ep so ... 'snap you know the timestamp' i know the timestamp i am severely unwell#i have an addiction to being able to quote exact sources for things. oops.#my eye is so fucking itchy guys my baby lady darling dearest gave me lovely kisses but she does not know i am greatly allergic to her#it is worth it tho ... is this not what love is ... enduring the worst to cherish trhe bestt ... my fucking. EYE#also wait yk whats funny. so my favorite poison ring's like latch was weird#it was just really flimsy so the ring would keep flapping open but i dropped it today#and now its fixed. make it make sense i hate science
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…maybe how some burs would react to locktober… or chastity in general…
Oooooooo….. I have so many thoughts.
L’manbur: he doesn’t have an opinion on it at first, knowing when he has a challenge presented to him, he won’t back down. He’s super cocky at first, saying how it’ll be so easy and he’ll last. But once he gets hard after your relentless teasing one night, he’s begging you to take it off and let him cum. To let him fuck you or for you to ride him so good. He’d do anything. But you’re the only one that can take it off, so of course you make him wait the whole month, which makes him an even whiney bitch.
Pogtopiabur: he hates it. He doesn’t not like being in control of himself so the idea of doing it sounds terrible. But the promise of absolutely ruining you at the end of the month and letting him do whatever he wants, whenever, made the whole thing a bit better. So when he feels his dick straining against the cage, bucking into the air for anything, his sensitive cock rubbing against him, he remembers the promise you made him and deals with it all. Because sooner or later he’d have you in his position. (He would definitely make you do no nut November)
Ghostbur: guys he’s my sweet boy I would never do that to him. I’d give him anything he wants.
Revivebur: oh this man takes it like a champ! He’s a masochist for a reason. Every time he gets hard, he taunts you with it. Manspreads and presses his hips in the air to show off his hard cock when you look at him, smirking at you as he sees you rubbing your thighs together and face turning red. He reversed the roles, making you complain about his actions while he was the one being restrained from even fucking his hand, barely doing anything to make you whine about this all.
“Well this was your idea love… no stopping now. I’ve already started…”
Simpbur: whines the whole time, doesn’t even last a whole week. Why would you do that to him?! You know he can’t not fuck you, The second you put it on, his hips are desperately chasing your hand and his voice whining for you to take it off. I’m not lying, he’s most likely hard the whole fucking time. He’s a pathetic slut. When you finally take it off, it’s because your annoyed of his whines and complains on how he needs to cum and how much he needs to fuck you. So you decide to fuck him. Let’s just say- peg than ride. He deserves to be treated like a toy after that.
Incelbur: takes it all for you. If it makes you happy seeing him in pain and suffering for the whole month, especially when you look so fucking good, he’ll take it. He wants to show you he can be what you need, a strong man who can obey whatever you ask. A man that can trust you and he’ll take everything you give him. He does complain here and there, just wanting to fuck you and claim you as his. But he knows at the end of all of this he’ll be able to hold you close and fuck up into you all night, hearing your whines and moans that are all because of him.
Phantombur: he’s lowkey 50/50, he doesn’t hate the idea of it, but he isn’t sure if he wants to do it. So you compromise with him, if he leaves it on and wants to take it off for a few days or just be done, you’ll still count it as winning for him since he was such a good boy for you and tried. Oh and he tries. He goes for a solid week and a half before asking you to take it off, quickly grabbing you and grinding against you as you took it off.
“Never again, didn’t like it. Please, please let me fuck you!”
Argbur: doesn’t mind it until it strains against his cock. He lowkey forgets about it until he moves a certain way or you do something to turn him on. He doesn’t like the strain of it against his cock, the restrain making him whine and groan as the throbbing pain that shot through his lower abdomen made itself apparent. But other than that, he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t complain, even when he’s hard because he knows he can do this back to you, and he will and he will make it hell.
c!wilbur: (Wilbur soot but Minecraft) secretly loves it yet complains any given moment. He likes annoying you with the fact that he has to be locked up for the rest of the month, unable to fuck you like he knows you need it. He also likes being restrained, being tested for long it takes him to finally give in and admit his lose. There is times where he gets really desperate whiney and he will not give you a break about it.
“Baby please, I bet you need a good dick down and fuck I need to feel you around me so-“
ghost!wilbur: fucking despises it! They never really had that when he was alive, still coming up with better condoms and ways to have safe sex. And now you tell him there’s a device where his cock can be in a sort of jail? For a month? Fuck no. It takes a lot of convincing from the man, once again the promise of getting to use you in any way he wants hanging in the air. He does in fact complain. He doesn’t whine, tho, just bitches about how uncomfortable he is and how anyone would like this. Does in fact tease you though, since he can go invisible….
“Ok fine, but I get out of this on Halloween so I can fuck you on the back porch”
vampirebur: this man is kinky…. Of course he likes it. He’s lived for centuries upon centuries trying new things with different people, yet what you want intrigued him. He’s never heard of it and frankly he’s pleasantly surprised, a device where he’s locked up and unable to do anything? Sign him up! He also incorporates you into it as well- if he doesn’t get to cum at all this month, well…. You have to cum everyday for him and he won’t stop until he’s satisfied with how many you’ve had. And if you tell him you don’t want to cum one day, you lost and he wins, vise versa.
“C’mon dear, I have to make it fair! Now take your pants off and lie on your back.”
#lilly answerz.#anon dearest <3#wilbur soot smut#wilbur soot imagine#dsmp wilbur#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot#wilbur x reader#x reader#ghost!wilbur.#lmanbur x reader#pogbur x reader#ghostbur x reader#revbur x reader#simpbur x reader#incelbur x reader#argbur x reader
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I just lost my dog and I need something fluffy😭 How do you think HL would feel about adopting a pet w/ reader?
Homelander would fight tooth and nail against you getting a shelter dog. he offers all kind of designer and pedigree dogs, the sky is the limit. he wants you to have your DREAM dog. a perfectly bred golden retriever or a rough collie, "Just like Lassie! C'mon," he practically begs.
the absolute last place he wants to be is some dreary shelter that reeks of filth and misery. the whole place makes his skin itch. "You're probably going to catch a disease in here," he warns you baselessly.
naturally you fall in love with the scruffiest mutt he's ever seen in his life. it's only got one big, sad eye and a wheezing bark. "Seriously?" he asks, but he knows by the look on your face that dog is coming home with you.
he complains about it constantly. it stinks, it breathes too loudly, it sheds. he's at his absolute limit with the thing, especially when he keeps finding it in his spot sprawled out on top of you on the couch.
but then a funny thing happens one night. you're watching a movie together, and that dog leans against his leg. he glances at the dog—definitely does not consider nudging it off—and then goes back to watching the movie.
it doesn't happen all at once, but that one tiny allowance is the start of it. bit by bit Homelander makes more and more space for this creature. when the dog puts its head on his knee, he puts a hand atop it. he lets it in so very gradually that by the time you come home to the two of them sprawled out on the floor face to face, with him conducting a very serious conversation, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
does he talk to the dog like it's a tax paying adult? yes. is it thoroughly charming every time? also yes.
#i’m so sorry my dearest 🖤#darling anon#ask and you shall receive#homelander headcanons#homelander x you#homelander x reader
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gifted kid burnout culture is going between "this is too easy, i'm bored" and panicked screaming every 6 hours
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