#defensive doggo

[amoodybun]

[87/100]

A Chow Chow Fighter

Stout and fluff. And possibly...more fluff.

All the Dogs so far!

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[dog-food-international]

Dog Food Fact:

Dog Food is not only nutritional but great for personal defense! The average human can hurl a pellet over 30 miles per hour!

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

Do I need to stop going to bed at midnight? Yes.

Will I? ...no.

[valiah-creates-stuff]

Since my doggo got sick and had to get injections of medicine, she’s hecking scared of the vet.

Now we bring her to bath or vaccinate her, and she just sits at the entrance and refuses to move :’3

[highwayphantoms]

guys did i mention lately that i love my dog

even if he keeps throwing up in my car (don't worry, we have Medication now)

we're tv buddies tonight

[homeinchaldea]

LB6 Super quest done!

[thereoncewasagirlnamedjane]

PAIRING | Joaquín Torres x f!Reader

TAGS/WARNINGS | just tons of fluff, and doggos!

SUMMARY | Joaquín is fiercely protective of all the VA’s service dogs in training, so when Sam informs him that there’s a new volunteer arriving to help take care of the pups, Joaquín is prepared to use any excuse to veto anyone who comes in through those doors… until you’re the one who walks in, and he knows he’s lost.

WORD COUNT | 2.0k

⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ NAVIGATION | | JOAQUÍN TORRES M.LIST ˚⋆｡˚ ⋆

I do not do taglists. Please follow my sideblog @ficsbyjane for notifications whenever I post.

✧.* In the Golden Hour

Sam sighs. It’s only ten in the morning and he’s already tired.

Joaquín sits on the floor in one of the VA’s designated meeting rooms, arms crossed over his chest, looking uncharacteristically grumpy even surrounded by six happy dogs poking and prodding at him with their noses.

“You know, you could… I don’t know, help?” Sam says, sidestepping a rogue tennis ball as he stacks up a few chairs and moves them to the back of the room. “What’s your problem anyway?”

“I wanna vet ‘em.”

“Too bad. I already told them they could start today.”

“Without consulting me?!” Joaquín sits up a little straighter now, indignant. Bailey, a curious little beagle, whines now that his face is out of reach and she can’t smother him in kisses.

“And since when did I need your approval, kid?”

“But I’m Mav’s handler,” the younger man insists, and a golden retriever who’s been lying sprawled across a sunlit patch just an arm’s reach away lifts his head, as though recognizing the sound of his name. “I should have a say on who comes in to take care of him when I’m not here.”

Mav, or Maverick, lets out a cheerful woof! His mouth then falls open in that silly golden grin that melts the hearts of everyone he meets, his tongue lolling to the side.

“See? He agrees with me,” Joaquín points at his latest pet project, no pun intended. He reaches over to give Mav some much deserved belly scratches. “Don’t you, buddy?”

“Don’t encourage him, Mav,” Sam half-heartedly scolds, and Maverick slumps back onto the floor with a high-pitched whine. “And you’ve already scared away plenty of volunteers. You think they’re easy to come by, or what?”

“I’m protective of the pups, okay? You can’t blame me for that,” Joaquín points out defensively, softening just a little when Daisy, a sweet and predictably excitable Labrador attacks his extended arm, wanting to play. “…And Mav’s special.”

It’s not that Joaquín doesn’t trust Sam’s judgment, and it is true that he’s protective of all the service dogs in training, but Mav is special.

Joaquín found him when he was still just a pup, a few weeks shy of a year old according to the vet, in some war-torn zone while overseas. It was instinct, he didn’t even think as he scooped up the trembling fur ball and brought him back to base.

While the Air Force weren’t strangers to welcoming golden retrievers among their ranks, Joaquín knew immediately that Mav could do the most good as a therapy dog. With Sam’s help, he got the smiley goldie a spot in the PAWS program and the rest was history.

And it was impossible not to get attached.

So while he’s not opposed to handing over Mav’s leash for a few hours a day, especially now that he’s the Falcon to Sam’s Captain America and he doesn’t always have the time to dedicate to the program, the last thing he wants is for some inexperienced volunteer to come in and mess up Mav’s progress.

“Wow, did you guys hear that?” Sam feigns shock, addressing the other dogs in the room. “Your lieutenant has a favourite.”

“Aw, come on. Don’t do that,” Joaquín winces, not daring to look over at the innocent stares of the VA’s latest round of recruits. “Don’t turn them against me.”

“Hey, you incriminated yourself,” Sam points at him before shaking his head, “I wouldn’t look at Jax if I were you. That look of betrayal—oof.”

“Listen, can’t you just—I don’t know, tell me more about this person?” Joaquín asks, hazarding a glance over at Jax the Doberman, who looks back at him with shining, watery eyes. He’s hit with a pang of guilt, one he tries to remedy by pulling Jax in for a cuddle.

“You’re being too protective,” Sam rolls his eyes. “The new volunteer is good with them, alright? She—”

“These guys would love a serial killer if he gave them treats,” Joaquín scoffs, ignoring the way Axel, a German Shepherd, seems to tilt his head with indignity. “Also… she?”

“Is that a problem? Damn, didn’t know you were like that, Torres,” Sam’s eyes widen, but there’s a telltale smirk on his face that says he’s just kidding around.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” the young Falcon rolls his eyes, although he softens a little when Bailey starts pawing at his knee for some attention. He scratches her affectionately under one floppy ear. “I just mean… well, she needs to be able to handle Beau, for one thing.”

Beau the Rottweiler then jumps up at attention when Joaquín points at him, barking once, twice, as though saying, “I’m here!”

He only looks intimidating, honest. In reality, Beau’s just another gentle giant. Still, if he decides to go running off chasing squirrels on his next walk, most people wouldn’t stand a chance against his speed and strength.

“Why do you think we call him ‘Beau’, huh?” Sam just grins even wider, bending over to pat the Rottweiler on the head. Beau laps up the attention, his bum wriggling excitedly with each wag of his tail. “He’s a total sucker for a pretty face. Aren’t ya, boy?”

“Well, duh, that’s why he likes me so much,” Joaquín grins when Beau huffs as if in agreement, tickling him under his chin. And then, he can’t help asking: “Alright, how pretty we talkin’?”

“God, is that important?”

“Wha-? You just said—!”

“Yeah, but you need to keep the flirting to a minimum, alright? This is a professional environment.”

“Oh, come on, when have I ever—”

“Literally all the time, you incorrigible little…” Sam trails off, exasperated, not wanting to call Joaquín something incredibly rude. “I swear, you should come with a warning.”

Joaquín just smirks at that, picking up the tennis ball when Axel brings it to him, tossing it across the room and starting a flurry of movement and a chorus of joyful barks.

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Eh, depends on how you look at it.”

“Okay,” Sam scoffs, “so you’re done giving me crap about the volunteer?”

“Nah, I’m not letting you, or her, off the hook that easily,” Joaquín then looks over at Maverick, who has moved to join the other dogs in the chase for the ball. He and Daisy are play fighting over it. “Alright, well, if I can’t vet her, then I at least wanna meet her first.”

“You’re only saying that because I said she’s pretty,” Sam grabs the dogs’ leashes that are hanging from a hook on the wall, letting out a sharp whistle that echoes off the walls. All of them obediently fall into line, plodding over when they see their leashes out.

“Please,” Joaquín rolls his eyes, “how pretty can she be?”

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that one,” Sam shakes his head, attaching the leashes to the dogs’ harnesses, camouflage-patterned with the words “ARMY” and their names stitched onto them.

Joaquín laughs now, catching the handles to the leashes that Sam tosses toward him. Daisy is connected to Beau and Maverick, while the others are grouped together, all somewhat evenly distributed.

“What, you gonna snitch or somethin—” he starts to fire back, but then movement in the hallway catches his eye. Joaquín glances out the door and almost chokes.

Because walking in through the doorway is easily the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

“Hi Sam—oh!”

Your eyes just light up when you see the dogs, like the moment just before a sparkler catches. Joaquín scrambles to his feet just as you fall to your knees to welcome Axel into your arms, who is the first one to run up to you.

The rest follow eagerly to say hello to their new friend, just swarming you. Beau pokes his head under your arm, Jax is so eager for kisses that he knocks you off your feet and onto your backside, and Bailey immediately jumps into your lap. Daisy is attacking your face, making you squeal when she licks a stripe up your cheek.

“Okay guys, okay!” You’re giggling, and Joaquín has to take a second to inhale, like he’s trying to breathe in that laugh. “Pets for everyone, but wait your turn!”

The dogs don’t listen, just continue giving you sloppy kisses and nose boops. Maverick goes bounding over, the only one of the bunch you haven’t met yet, and noses curiously at the soles of one of your shoes.

Joaquín doesn’t stop him. In fact, he barely registers the fact that he’s let go of the leashes.

“Why, hello there,” you coo, letting Mav sniff the back of your hand before you start petting him in earnest. You check his harness, smiling as you read his name out loud. “Well, aren’t you a handsome one, Maverick?”

The golden retriever looks to his handler, as though proud, like he’s saying, “Did you hear that? She said I’m handsome!”

Joaquín’s never been so jealous of a dog in his entire life.

Once the dogs have finished saying hello and have calmed down a little, you stand up, trying not to trip over them as they circle your legs.

“Ahem, sorry about that,” you clear your throat sheepishly. Sam smiles triumphantly, turning to give Joaquín the smuggest of looks, only to roll his eyes at what he finds. The kid’s earlier skepticism and indignation is nowhere to be seen, only the most idiotic smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Along with the most obvious pair of heart eyes mankind has ever seen.

Joaquín grins. Your hair is slightly dishevelled now, and your nice jacket is covered in dog drool and dog hair but you don’t seem to care. Instead, you just catch his eye and smile.

“Oh, you must be Lieutenant Torres,” and then you step closer and hold out a hand. He can smell your perfume or your shampoo, whatever it is, and for a second he can’t seem to form any words. You glance uneasily over at Sam, who just shrugs.

“Um—yeah,” Joaquín blinks and shakes his head a little, taking your hand with maybe a bit too much enthusiasm. Maybe he even holds on a little longer than is necessary. “Please, just Joaquín is fine.”

“Sure, Joaquín,” your smile grows wider and he can’t help but watch, enraptured, as your lips form the sounds of his name.

“So… the dogs, uh, they really like you.”

“Oh, you think so?” You visibly melt, pressing a hand over your heart. “Thank god, it’s the best endorsement I’ve ever gotten.”

“Well, you know what they say: dogs are a good judge of character,” he offers. You laugh and he chuckles along, all breathless and smitten. To the side, Sam lets out a scoff but he can’t bring himself to care.

“I thought you said they’d love serial killers—” But Sam doesn’t get to finish, Joaquín stepping forward hurriedly to pick up the dogs’ leashes off the floor.

“Hey, I’ve got some time…” Joaquín says, not at all subtle or casual. He steps a little closer, offering you the leashes, letting out an almost imperceptible sigh when your fingers brush his. “Maybe I can show you their favourite route.”

You glance over at Sam, who rolls his eyes so hard you think they might get stuck. Still, you smile up at Joaquín.

“Lead the way, Lieutenant,” you gesture to the door, giggling when he dips his head shyly and slowly jogs toward the door.

You turn back to Sam, smirking as you whisper, “I thought you said he’d give me a hard time?”

“Yeah, well, he’s a pain in my ass, that’s for sure.”

“…He’s cute.”

“Ugh, I oughta throw up in your face.”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Ready?” Joaquín then pops his head back into the room to ask. You spin around, nonchalant, and nod, letting the dogs tug you excitedly towards the door.

Sam watches you all go, huffing a laugh when Joaquín bends dramatically at the waist as he opens the door for you. Shaking his head, Sam turns away to finish reorganizing the room and mutters to himself, “Guess Beau’s not the only sucker around here.”

Outside on the sidewalk, Beau sneezes.

FIN.

Notes: I love these two already, so I miiiiight do a part 2 eventually, one day, idk.

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[ducksido]

'Ello m8, seeing your HP!Yuu made me want a Remus Lupin!Yuu

Y'know, profesor Lupin from Defense Against the Dark Arts (or DADA for short), Wolf McWolfen the werewolf?

This guy, fucken hate him (afectionate, i'm literally him)

(Optional hc of mine that u could use for this: even tho this guy cannot eat chocolate 'cause after becomin a werehound he became alergic to most things that canines [doggos] can't eat [ie: chocolate, grapes, garlic, etc], he still eats it cause fuck rules and every single time he gets an allergic reaction he laughs at his disgrace while everyone freaks out 'cause he got puffy like a blowfish out of the blue.)

Remus Lupin!Yuu in Twisted Wonderland

Teaches an informal Defense Against Overblots class in Ramshackle. It’s just them, a blackboard Grim naps on, a tea kettle, and a very detailed monster manual they’re writing from scratch. Somehow their lessons are still better than most of Trein’s.

Looks perpetually sleep-deprived, with a patchy scarf collection, worn-out sweaters, and enough charm to make their “chronically exhausted gifted kid” vibe attractive to everyone from Ruggie to Idia.

Is a literal werehound. Got bitten during an accident in a dark forest at night (what else is new). Now transforms during full moons and has extremely sensitive dog-like senses all month. Bright lights? Too loud. Strong smells? Please stop. Grim’s tuna breath?

Their dorm smells like mint tea, dusty books, and wet dog. They pretend to be mad when people say it, but secretly… they like the attention.

Can’t eat chocolate anymore because it triggers their canine allergy, but do they care? Absolutely not. They’ll eat a whole bar of dark chocolate during study break, go full allergic reaction mode (swollen lips, itchy ears, watery eyes, etc.) and just laugh like: “Well, at least I died doing what I loved.”

Everyone freaks out the first few times. Deuce cried once. Riddle almost had a heart attack. Azul offered to make a “safe” faux-chocolate. Yuu bit into it, grimaced, and said “This tastes like betrayal.” Never again.

Always the one patching people up after fights or emotional meltdowns. They hum lullabies while cleaning scrapes. Very “I can’t let anyone else hurt like I do” coded.

Still super powerful, but lowkey about it. Once stared an overblot in the face and said, “I’ve seen worse monsters in the mirror, darling,” then bodied them with a single spell.

—

Some Reactions to The Allergy

Leona: “You’re an idiot.” Hands them water anyway while Yuu’s face puffs up like a balloon. Grumbles, but checks their vitals with scary precision.

Floyd: Thinks it’s hilarious. “Ooooh, Shrimpy’s got pufferfish mode~ Do it again~”

Vil: Contemplates murdering them. “Chocolate? Again? I gave you those vegan carob bites for a reason!” Threatens to handcuff them to a detox smoothie next time.

Lilia: Laughs along. “Ah, youth! You really shouldn’t, but I admire your chaos.” Offers garlic bread next. (He forgets. Yuu cries.)

Idia: Has a detailed medical alert system on his tablet just for them. Logs every reaction like it’s a glitchy video game boss: “Yuu V3.6.8 just face-tanked a forbidden cocoa drop… again. HP at 32%. LOL.”

Malleus: Has no idea what chocolate is. Brings them a whole cacao tree and asks if that will help. Is very worried and insists on staying by their side for every recovery nap.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Strategy for the battles

So ya'll, while I'm glad the battles were only two in-between each story node, obviously they had to make them harder and I noticed you used way more action points than usual.

My team has been so beefed up there was literally no stage which I was struggling, but I did have a question for everyone....

did any of you ever deal damage higher than 100 per hit for those shield wielding fluffy dog angels?

I call them fluffy doggos because that's what they look like lmao but yeah basically two beefed up Petit El's with shields and while they didn't do anything they were still annoying to take down. Even with ults they only took 100 in damage.

The fastest I could do was bombarding them with everyone once the other enemies were taken down, and use Bath Satan's ult that has the poison feature to help bring their defense down. Other than that I was sitting forever waiting for my team to take them down. I'm sure they will show up in the next chapter so I'm just trying to see if anyone had any other methods of quickly getting rid of them instead of just dealing with sitting there while they take forever to die lol

[lovekabaneri]

Apocalyptic Ponyo Thundercracker

I have once again been pulled by another of @keferon AUs. I love all the merformers and different ideas for the AU that have been coming out!

So, I came up for a sweet little idea that mer! Thundercracker should also have a dog, like in the comics! I like how he has Buster, so we could give him a doggo in this AU. I imagine Thundercracker as a shark mer.

There's 2 possible route we can go with it.

He adopts a seal (sea doggo) as a pet one time. Usually seals run from him and the other shark mers but this young seal gets attached to him and he decides to keep it as an emergency snacks but then grows to like it, names it Buster. He's basically "I've known Buster for day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I'd kill everyone in the room and then myself!". It is quite funny because sharks, especially big ones, eat seals and a big mer like TC has eaten seals before.

The second, even funnier option, is that Buster is just a regular land doggo. Let me explain:

So, one day TC gets into a bit of an argument with the others, so he leaves to cool off. As a shark mer, he usually travels with his group, like some sharks do irl, but sometimes he needs some alone time. He is swimming aimlessly when he notices something weird splashing rather violently on the water some distance ahead.

Sharks are opportunistic feeders, so he thinks "Nice, free snack." and goes there but then... he meets regular dog Buster.

"What the heck is that thing?!?!" - TC thinks as he circles the dog, curious.

Dogs are something he's not encountered before, since in the AU mers tend to stay in the depths and away from humans and the shore in general, plus dogs are not brought in the ocean that often. So, what is a dog doing in the middle of nowhere?

Well, Buster is Marissa's dog. She's the same, but instead of the Earth defense force, she's a professional shark diver or something similar and she brings Buster with her when she works. This time, however, Buster accidentally got overboard (like got out of the cabin when no one was looking or something like that) and got lost. She's looking for him.

TC decides to go in to investigate and maybe have a taste of this new creature. He lifts Buster out of the water to have a better look without all the splashing. Then, Buster shakes off the water, spraying TC in the face and starts to happily bark and wag his tail for being saved. TC thinks about eating him but then Buster starts sniffing, licking and rubbing against TC's hands (interesting texture+smell) and TC falls in love and decides the weird wet thing is now his.

Marissa eventually does find her dog but... Buster's just chilling with this BIG, dangerous-looking mer! Swimming circles as the dog tries to catch TC. As a diver, she knows how dangerous mers can be (see wild/savage mers in the au). Well, that's how she also ends up meeting TC.

Needless to say, TC is not happy his new friend/pet has to go, but he realizes the dog won't be able to survive long-term in the ocean. Although... he does end up becoming friends with Buster and Marissa by finding her boat when she goes diving and he also plays with Buster then. Kind of like in this video:

When the apocalypse hits, imagine TC going on a rescue mission to save his friends from the flooded city! It will be very interesting and epic!

A woman, her dog and giant sharkman friend fighting off mutants as they try and escape the flooded city and find Marissa's boat or just a working boat in general, so they can get to safety! Kind of like Resident Evil but with mutant sea monsters and the team is a little doggo, big scary shark merman and a woman with a harpoon gun/shotgun/spear?

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

You've done Fidough, yes, but what about Dachsbun? Would the sweet bread doggo evolution make a good pet? ❤️

[I have indeed covered fidough, so I’ll be sure to link to it at the bottom of this post!]

The “sweet bread doggo”, as you put it, would indeed make a good pet! Dachsbuns nearly warrant a “just a dog” rating, and perhaps I should’ve just gone for it, but the lack of data about this fairly recently discovered species makes it difficult to make a firm ruling. This will probably be a shorter post (something I tell myself literally every time), but let’s jump right into it.

To begin with, dachsbuns are a perfect size to be a house pet! They don’t seem to have greater space needs than any real-world dogs do, and they would be pretty easy to transport around. Much like their pre-evolution, fidough, dachsbuns are incredibly friendly and personable. They’ve long been a staple of farming villages in places like the Paldea region, as their peculiar-but-pleasant aroma is said to help wheat grow (Scarlet), so they’ve long been domesticated and have lived peacefully alongside humans. Whereas fidough would make great pets for bakers because of the natural aid they can providing yeast (gross but cool, I guess), dachsbuns would make great pets for farmers due to their natural ability to help crop growth.

A very important thing to keep in mind with this species is that they may be prime targets for certain predators. Like mentioned above, these pokémon emit a powerful smell, described in the pokédex as both “pleasant” and “appetizing” (Scarlet, Violet). This might make a dachsbun that’s playing outside the target of attacks from hungry pokémon. That’s not to say that a dachsbun could’nt defend themselves, of course. They have a natural defense against fiery attacks, as their skin hardens to protect them when faced with intense heat (Violet), and they can use a variety of moves to fight back or even disarm enemies with moves like Baby-Doll Eyes. That being said, the world of pokémon is a pretty crazy place, so I wouldn’t recommend letting your dachsbun play outside without supervision.

Thankfully, these pokémon aren’t all too dangerous to humans, all things considered. Moves like Bite, Crunch, and Double Edge can pack a punch, but their small size and friendly demeanor makes them not much more dangerous than a real-world dog.

If you’re looking to adopt a pokémon that doesn’t differ too much from real-world pets, a dachsbun might make the perfect pick for you (especially if you love the smell of just-baked bread)!

The Fidough Post:

[askcorpsey]

SNOWDIN

Things are tense between Frisk and Chara after Frisk died at Toriel’s hands. Chara’s instinct is to defend their mother, but Frisk, traumatized, isn’t having it.

A flicker of uncertainty crosses Chara’s ghostly face. “She did not mean to. She’s not like that,” They say, not meeting Frisk’s tearful eyes. “She was trying to protect you.”

“Oh wow, and she did such a great job of that!” Frisk seethed through watery eyes. “That’s what all great moms do, murder their own children.”

“She wasn’t--”

“But you don’t care, you hate me!” Frisk whirls on Chara, nose to nose with the startled apparition. “Bet it was real fun to watch me get burnt to a crisp, huh? Bet it was just hilarious thinking about how I might’ve never-- I… I might’ve never seen my family again…” The hot, furious energy deflates out of them, replaced with an embarrassed hand wiping away their tears.

Chara reaches out a hand, unsure and caught off-guard. The hand hovers there for a moment, then retracts. Frisk takes a shaky breath and continues down the corridor.

They don’t see Corpsey again in the ruins, but his ominous, raspy laughter follows them wherever they go. 

That night, as Toriel tosses and turns in her bed, unable to shake a profound guilt that she cannot place, she is visited by the rotting corpse of her long dead child, who taunts and mocks her inability to fix anything, to keep anyone safe. She wakes up the next morning shaking, convinced that it was just a nightmare. But there are muddy shoeprints on the floor next to her bed that she doesn’t remember seeing before.

In Snowdin, Frisk meets Sans and Papyrus. Sans warns them that the residents of the town are jumpy these days, with a few murders that took place recently and rumors of a demonic ghost haunting the town. The brothers help with diverting Royal Guard patrols from their path (Papyrus’s lieutenant status helps with this). 

Frisk tries to keep a low profile, but after getting into an argument with Chara, gets jumped by Doggo who assumes them to be the evil human ghost that’s been haunting the town. Frisk, their death at Toriel’s hands still fresh on their mind, kills him in self defense. This drives a further wedge in between Frisk and Chara.

“Load back,” Chara says icily.

“What? No, he tried to kill me!” Frisk’s knuckles go white as the snow at their feet as they grip the dusty plastic knife for all its worth. 

“Because he thought you were a threat,” Chara bites back. “Which clearly, you are. If you could just explain--”

“Explain what, exactly?” Frisk snaps. “That I’m not an evil haunted zombie? That I’m a regular human? Haven’t we already established that the entire Underground wants me dead?”

“You have power. You are functionally immortal. You have a responsibility to use that power to minimize harm.”

“So I’m not allowed to defend myself now? I’m just supposed to let these people kill me?”

“Yes,” Chara hisses out. “It is the least you could do for them after everything your people have done to them.”

“My people?” Frisk asks, bewildered. “What did my people do?”

“Your people. Humanity. You killed millions and then trapped the survivors down here to rot.” Overwhelming hatred distorted their expression.

“First of all, my parents were Columbian immigrants, I’m not sure what a bunch of white people did a thousand years ago, but my family had nothing to do with it, and it’s bullshit to say that I’m responsible for it,” Frisk says, taking a step forward. “Second of all, newsflash, Einstein, you’re human too. So if I’m responsible, then so are you. Why don’t you die for them?”

“I DID DIE FOR THEM!” Chara’s form distorted beyond recognition, for a split second they looked almost demonic as they loomed over Frisk, who stumbled backward in fear.

It was only for a moment, though, and they flickered back to looking like an angry, grief-stricken child. “I did die for them,” Chara repeated. “And it was not enough.”

Frisk looked down at the dust mingling with the snow, guilt bleeding in now that the initial fear had worn off.

“Please,” Chara pleaded, sounding exhausted. “Please load back. Try to end the fight without either one of you dying. Just try.

Frisk thought about whether they could go home and look in their mama’s eyes and tell her they had killed someone. Could they live with themself if they didn’t try? “Okay. Fine. I’ll try.”

Frisk loads back and is able to pacify Doggo. Unbeknownst to them, after they move on from the area, Corpsey kills Doggo.

Sans’s warnings turn out to be true, with Snowdin’s residents being very jumpy. Simultaneously though, Corpsey has gathered a mini cult following of cryptid enthusiasts, with Papyrus being the leader. He dresses Frisk in a Corpsey mask and a Corpsey fanclub shirt as a disguise. Frisk explores the village and gets a gauge on the monster population. Most people are scared of the evil ghost demon child that is rumored to be behind the disappearances, other people are skeptical and assume there’s some serial killer and have distaste for the royal guard for not solving the murders. 

In the Papyrus hangout he reveals that he’s actually friends with Corpsey and insists Corpsey is actually a really good guy! People are just scared of him because he’s stinky and spooky. He’s not a murderer! He’s just quirky. Papyrus started the Corpsey fanclub in order to improve Corpsey’s public perception. It didn’t help, it just attracted the cryptic/true crime/conspiracy theory lovers. Oh well.

Undyne shows up to investigate the report of Doggo’s disappearance. She gets on Papyrus’s case about the whole Corpsey fanclub thing and sees straight through Frisk’s disguise and attacks! She insists that Frisk murdered Doggo, and when Frisk can’t fully deny it, Papyrus reluctantly sides with Undyne.

During the fight, Frisk appeals to Papyrus’s conscience and insists they didn’t kill Doggo, getting his guard down enough to flee from both of them

[lodgeofthecat]

WE GOT DAT FRIGGIN MOUSE Afterwards we raided the delightful Shades who is streaming Earth Defense Force 5, check em out! https://www.twitch.tv/shades_for_sha3es

I'LL GET DAT FUMCKIN MOUSE!! Lets play some Gato Roboto! https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2083231460

[verdemoun]

Pspspsps! Just food for thought about pets inspired by your wonderful precious amazing incredible Micah art piece 🤭💕

In the modern au, I was imagining Baylock would be a dog, even though I can honestly see Micah being a cat guy because they’re so independent. Maybe he’s a pittie? Or some other “tough” breed that Micah gets to look badass, but Baylock is the sweetest puppy around. Micah tries to hose him outside to get him mean and “wake up his fighting spirit” but Baylock just gargles the water and does that pitbull lip flappy chomp on the hose

I think the Count would be a white Persian cat that Dutch constantly takes to shows. He takes priority over his actual human sons even though the Count would turn Dutch in to the cops for a piece of kibble

Bonus African Gray Parrot Silver Dollar that Hosea somehow inherited and adores nontheless

Thank you for all your amazing posts!!! You’re an inspiration mwah

If I'm an inspiration you're awe-inspiring poppet.

Micah has a doggo called Baymax! Pets don't get reincarnated though a lot of the gang named their pets after their horses (rip only Arthur has a horse). Baymax is a massive white bulldog mutt Micah got as a 6month puppy from a shelter 1. thinking puppy was his adult size and 2. because the name Baymax reminded him of Baylock. Baymax was clearly neglected and has many scars from either other dog attacks or abuse and was the most cowardly dog Micah could've picked up. Despite growing to a very respectable 110 lbs and absolutely striking fear into the hearts of parents of small children everywhere with his looks Baymax is the biggest sook. Micah claims he is a guard dog only for Baymax to cower behind him at the slightest hint of confrontation (another dog tried to sniff his butt). Micah is not afraid to babytalk his dog in front of the gang. Everyone knows what little mental stability Micah has is linked to that dog. Of course Micah will also pretend he has no emotional attachments to Baymax and call him a dirty mutt at gathering, to which Baymax happily bounces over because it's pretty much the nickname Micah uses when he's dropped food for his living vacuum to clean up. Micah only learned to use a stove so he could cook steak and hamburgers for his dog while he lives on take out and frozen microwave meals. Baymax loves the hose but also when Micah took him to the beach he had to teach his dog to swim. The only doggy life vest in store in Baymax's size was baby girl pink and Micah still insists Baymax looks terrifying in it.

Dutch is the bird man! He has an albino canary called the Countess that is his favorite. Yes he would probably blow off actually leaving the psych ward to see the gang if he was too busy fussing over his birds. He has every color of canary you can imagine because Dutch can only form emotional attachments to thing he can keep in a cage.

Hosea doesn't need a pet he has Kieran and Javier to look after. Similar to owning cats he needs to remind them when to eat, deal with 'i won't drink out of that glass i don't know how long the water was sitting there' 'how did you survive as an outlaw', and keeps a spray bottle on hand to stop them making out on the couch. Kieran however has chickens and Hosea has walked into the living room to find out Kieran snuck the chickens inside because it was raining. In Kieran's defense they're very domesticated chickens who will just sit on his lap while he's watching his shows.

[skellymom]

"Vagabonds" Chapter 21

"AMARANTHINE"

Ongoing fanfic Hunter x Reader/Fem Reader/OC

Hunter meets a smuggler Nomaadi Star Woman with a powerful force sensitive teen who changes the trajectory of CF-99's lives...as they ALL try to escape from The Empire together.

To read Chapter 20 - "DIFFICULT CHOICES"

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/761407251706707968/vagabonds-chapter-20?source=share

Word Count: 2.8 K

Background: The crew splits up: One group to continue repairing the Beldame. The other to take Mad to the Rebel Base. What lies in store for them?

Amaranthine definition: Undying, immortal, eternally beautiful. A deep purple-red color.

THE ACTION RAMPS UP IN THIS CHAPTER!

For anyone new to this series: "LOVE" is the nonbinary/genderfluid neurodivergent/nonverbal Force sensitive kid of the main OC of this series named Mad. Mad is an older single mother, close to almost 50 years of age (not many older female protaganists in stories, so I decided to make one.)

Warning: SW Canon violence, blood, snapped neck, dog mauling human (defensive move for the doggo), some swearing, angst, tragedy.

(Credit: Cool dividers by @plum98 @strangergraphics-archive Pinterest: Hunter)

“The Beldame STILL needs further repairs” Tech voiced his ship wide diagnostic report of the the Beldame.  “It seems the maintenance on YOUR ship hasn’t been kept up for some time.” 

“Not subtle are ya Tech” Mad shot back.  “Before the Coruscant Job, we BARELY fed ourselves.  Jobs weren't paying much of a living wage for Nomaadi during The Republic Era.”   

“No need to be offended.  I was merely stating...” Tech remarked flatly 

Echo comically slapped his forehead with his hand.   

Wrecker, standing next to Tech grimaced and signaled his brother to STOP TALKING. 

Tech was oblivious. 

Hunter just sat there, chin in hand as he rested it on the armrest of his seat, slight grin as he watched Tech unassumingly poke the Dryax.  He wished Crosshair could be here.  Knew the sniper would absolutely RELISH Mad and Tech bickering. 

He’d be eating this shit UP! 

“What I'm saying is LOVE and I are POOR.  Does that spell it out for you?”  Mad sarcastically replied rubbing her belly.  “Was hoping to finish the repairs with the credits from THIS job.” 

Giggles from the kids. 

Tech softened.  He realized his sass was rude.  By comparison, the Marauder was in top condition currently because the Batch hadn’t been estranged from the Republic for very long. 

“Well...an electromagnetic interference such as what LOVE emitted would damage ANY ship.”  This was the best apology Mad would get from Tech.  “If we expect to exit this hyperspace lane, rudimentary power for locomotion to the Beldame must be restored.” 

“I agree.  Don’t know WHY you couldn’t have just kept to the bare FACTS in your status report.” Mad verbally jabbed back.  “Didn’t need that EXTRA remark thrown in.” 

Tech rolled his eyes.  Everyone on the ship snickered at him. 

“So, how much longer before the Dame has some thruster capability?” Mad demanded. 

“Another standard day or two of repairs.  It will be enough to get us out of hyperspace and somewhere we can procure replacement parts.  Otherwise, the Beldame won’t be able to enter hyperspace again.  The Marauder used a considerable amount of power to pull your ship in.  However, it’s wearing on our ship’s engines to continue to do so.” 

Hunter intervened “Can we leave a group of crew members behind to work on repairs while another accompanies Mad to the surface of Taphao Kaew’s Rebel Base?” 

“Seems the only option.” Echo stepped into the conversation. 

Tech continued “Technically the Dame SHOULD be safe for now, but we cannot continue to lurk in this hyperspace lane long term.  Hopefully the Rebel Base will allow us to land and continue repairs on the planet’s surface.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Mad replied “Of course, I want Hunter with me.  Sil, I want you to stay and help fix the Dame.” 

Sil nodded to Mad who continued “LOVE, stay here and protect the ship for the time being.  We still need that shield generator up and working.” 

LOVE immediately shook their head in heated disagreement. 

Omega bounced up and down, hand up...clearly she wanted to be involved.

"Omega?" Mad turned to Hunter. Not wanting to speak for him regarding his younger sister.

Hunter added “Echo and Wrecker can come with us while Tech, Sil, and...” 

Tech interjected “We...will need MORE people to work on the Beldame if we are expected to leave within the expected timeframe.  Perhaps Echo and Wrecker should stay with Sil.  I will navigate the Marauder and LOVE can accompany Hunter and Mad for protection purposes.  That is MY suggestion.” 

“AWW!” Wrecker groused.  “I wanna go.  Been working on the Dame all this time!!!” 

“So have I.” Echo grumped at Wrecker “Don’t hear ME complainin!” 

Omega burst forth "CAN I GO TOO???"

ALL the Batchers simultaneously turned and shouted "NO!"

"Aaaargh!" She stomped her little feet.

Sil threw his arm around Omega's shoulder "You can stay and work alongside me!"

Omega pretended to be grateful...Sil scoffed at her halfhearted try.

Hunter glanced at Mad for her opinion.  She nodded. 

“Everyone in agreement?” He addressed the crew. 

Everyone nodded. 

Wrecker crossed his arms and pouted. Omega eyed Hunter disappointedly.

"Sorry kid...next time." Hunter promised.

“We move out early tomorrow morning.” Hunter announced.  “Everyone hit the sack.  Got a big day ahead of us.” 

Mad didn’t need an alarm.  She awoke to Hunter stroking her hair.  Mad opened her eyes as he traced the side of her jaw sweetly.  She took his hand and kissed it. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Anxious.” Mad rubbed the sleep from her eyes.  “I don’t want to think about what we might or might not be walking into.” 

“Hey...” Hunter kissed Mad’s forehead “I’ll be there.  So will Tech and LOVE.  You got nothing to worry about.” 

Mad smiled. 

He’s worried too.  Trying to put on a brave face. 

She loved him for it. 

“Oof, the BABY pressure on my bladder!”  Mad threw the blankets back... 

Her belly was even LARGER this morning! 

Mad attempted to get off the bed and failed.  She flopped back on the bed and sighed. 

“Help please...” 

Hunter grinned.  He put his arm around Mad’s shoulders to help lift her off the bed. 

“Need me in there too?” 

“No, smartass.  I can pee all by myself thank you.”  Mad sassed.  “But if you’re offering you can scrub my back in the shower.”  

“Mmm...” Hunter pinched Mad’s butt cheek playfully. 

“Don’t get any ideas, Sergeant.  You ordered an EARLY start to this mission.” 

Tech covertly landed the Marauder along the heavily wooded surface of Taphao Kaew.  The plan was to have Tech stay with the ship.  Hunter and LOVE would take Mad to the Rebel Base and radio Tech with any decision the extraction point contact had for the babies.  From there on in, the plan was open to “improvisation”. 

He watched Hunter, Mad and LOVE leave the Marauder and disappear into the strange alien forest.  Tech stood watch at the Marauder’s side hatch for quite a while... 

Eventually his attention-span waned.  It was taking longer than expected.  Tech wished he had advised Wrecker to come along after all.  He could carry Mad all the way there and back easily.  Not that Tech didn’t expect Mad to be able to make the journey, as she was capable albeit slower.  It was more due to Hunter hovering like a father hen, therefore slowing her down considerably. 

Sil pulled out the treat box from the Beldame’s Galley and shook it loudly. 

Nothing. 

“TIGGY!” Sil shouted through the Beldame. 

Quiet. 

Wrecker came around the corner “I’m worried.  Still can’t find ‘er.” 

“Little Menace is probably tucked away somewhere in the Beldame.  Let sleeping dogs lie.”  Echo gestured.  “Got LOTS of work to do.” 

Hunter held Mad’s hand and slung his other arm around her shoulders.  He could catch her lest she slip, protect her from blaster bolts, or an approaching enemy. 

Love hovered behind them, grinning and watching the interaction between Hunter and Mad.  Eventually Mad glanced over her shoulder, leading Hunter to do the same. 

“Wut?” She scowled comically. 

Oh...YOU TWO. 

Hunter picked up the subtle facial micro expressions between LOVE and Mad.  It seemed LOVE was able to control what and when Hunter could communicate with them.  He nodded to Mad, who instinctively understood his inquiry. 

“We’re being...lovey-dovey.”  Mad whispered to Hunter. 

“Not used to it yet, huh?” Hunter pulled up his helmet to expose his face, leaned in and kissed Mad on the cheek.  Just a gentle brush of his lips while walking the forest path. 

Mad roped an arm around his tucked waist, squeezed firmly and affectionately. 

Disss-gustin' LOVE snorted out loud. 

Mad giggled. 

“Stay here.” Hunter abruptly blurted, then nodded to a stunned LOVE.  He let go of Mad and dashed off the trail...quietly.  As if he was a weightless wraith, ghost of a man, vanishing into the deep shadows of the forest. 

Mad and LOVE glanced at each other with wide puzzled eyes. 

Hunter IMMEDIATELY popped back onto the trail startling them BOTH. 

He presented a Wild Rambling Amaranthine Rose.  Its passionate purple and velvety petals emitted a sweet yet exotically musky odor.  The abundantly green leaves nestled against the flower’s petals.  The large, lush blooms while striking were protected by razor sharp 4-inch spikes all over the plant. 

A fitting flower for Hunter’s lady. 

He had SOMEHOW so quickly avoided the thorns to obtain an amazing specimen without injury. 

Hunter got down on one knee... 

“Whaddya doin???” Mad stared down at him suspiciously. 

“Proclaiming my love and devotion to my...lover...lady...special person.  We never settled on a title.”  Hunter preened. 

Mad stifled a laugh.  She was that cynical to think Hunter’s proclamation was a silly joke. He was coming out of his shell, exhibiting a dry humor, but THIS was pure tooth rotting sweetness.  A grown man with the occasional heart of an innocent boy.   

He’s not cynical like ME. He has SO MUCH HOPE Mad thought.  Thank FORCE.  I’ve LOST mine long ago.  I NEED this.  Mad thought guiltily.  She’s been ALONE for so long. Independence was ALWAYS Mad’s go to.  She could STILL have that, but with the luxury of passionate, empathetic companionship. 

Hunter cleared this throat embarrassingly “I’m hoping that WHATEVER is required on this planet...we’ll STILL be together afterwards.  I’ll even settle for whatever time we have left...a day or a lifetime.”  He had a fleeting expression of FEAR in his eyes. 

“Hunter...” Mad was speechless and a bit concerned.   

“I should’ve done this earlier with EVERYONE present.  Didn’t really HIT ME until now.”  

LOVE floated soundlessly watching and picking up on the vibes of the situation. 

Mad took the flower from Hunter, tucked it into the hair of her Mohawk, pulled Hunter from his knees, and embraced him.  He embraced her back with an emotionally hitched breath.  They kissed sweetly and deeply.   

LOVE didn’t feel embarrassed or offended by the open display of affection.  Their mother was long overdue the companionship of another.  LOVE wanted Mad to be HAPPY.  It seemed to FINALLY have arrived. 

Annnnd I pronounce you bonded life partners for many years, boop, beep, boop.  LOVE Force Spoke to them both while waving arms like a total goof. 

Hunter and Mad blushed.   

The group continued their journey. 

Tech leaned over the game on top of Gonky’s head.  Rubbing his chin, while contemplating his next move.  His mind a million miles away... 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!”  

Gonky jumped up and knocked over game pieces as Tech whirled around. 

A green armored Trooper stood inside the Marauder; blaster trained on him. 

“Shit!” Tech swore under his breath, hands hovering over both of his holstered blasters. 

Well, I’ve DONE it NOW!  Tech mused.  Our goose is cooked!!! 

“Where are you from?  Any more crew members?  State your planet of origin!” 

Tech couldn’t help blurting out “Are you a mercenary???” 

The Trooper closed in on him menacingly. 

Tech improvised cooly “My companion and I” he motioned to Gonky “are traveling botanists who sample and study the flora from differing planets of the galaxy.  Today was the day to study YOUR fair planet.” Tech attempted to avoid grimacing embarrassingly.   

He failed. 

Clones are HORRIBLE liars. 

“Botanist with ARMOR and BLASTERS???” The Trooper wasn’t sold on Tech’s lie. 

Tech launched into what he knew “We MUST protect ourselves from many natural dangers.  For instance, the flesh-eating flower of...”  

“I’m NOT INTERESTED in your LIES!” The Trooper slammed his blaster into Tech’s chest... 

Tech put both hands up and steeled himself. 

Then a loud THUD caught the trooper’s attention.  He eyed Tech for a second, blaster still digging into his sternum.  When he felt sure Tech would not resist, the Trooper turned to glance behind him into the half-lit shadows of the Marauder. 

Tech, unable to do anything at that moment, glanced in the same direction as the Trooper...  At nothing but shadows. 

The trooper turned back to Tech “WHO ELSE is with you?” He viciously hissed. 

Tech attempted to come up with something on the fly, but his brain locked up while his eyes widened with concern due to the high probability of having his guts blasted across the Marauders cockpit. 

He didn’t need too much time though... 

A black blur SLAMMED into the Trooper!  He screamed for a brief second before it bit deeply into the gap in his armor.   

Tiggy snapped the Trooper’s neck with brutal precision.  The noise was loud as it silenced the scream immediately.  His body collapsed into a heap on the ship's decking. 

She did it all WITHOUT breaking ANY skin! 

Tech watched as Tiggy released the dead soldier, then guiltily backed up into the shadows.  She was comically visible... 

...until her dark coat seemed to melt and become one with them.   

Only her yellow eyes shone in the darkness.   

Tiggy found the ability to CLOAK herself like some of the undersea creatures of Kamino!  Tech quickly surmised it was due to her enhanced breeding...even if she was only meant for food stock originally. 

Tech’s jaw dropped.  “Fascinating!”  He could see from her eyes Tiggy was NOW cowering in doggy fear.  She closed them and disappeared entirely. 

“Tiggy...” Tech coaxed.  “GOOD GIRL!” 

She LAUNCHED out of the shadows and slammed into Tech’s chest.  Tiggy slobbered his face, the areas where she leaned up against him blending in with his armor, clothing, and pockets...half of her cloaked, half a fully visible dog. 

She knocked the wind out of Tech, and he was absolutely THRILLED for it.  He wrestled her off him, then gave a command. 

“Daab!” 

Tiggy healed at Tech’s side as he stood up. 

She waited patiently for whatever else he required of her. 

Tech then attempted to comm Hunter that the Marauder had been discovered.  

Hunter, Mad, and LOVE reached a small clearing and could see the Rebel Facility... 

PEOPLE WERE RUNNING OUT OF IT. Terrified people!  Frantically trying to escape a figure dressed in green armor, leveling a blaster rifle at them.   

He picked people off with a terrifying precision. 

Hunter drew his weapon.  Mad pulled a blaster out from under her robes, surprising him that she was even packing at all. 

“Didn’t think I'd walk into this without at least a blaster, Hunky?” Mad shot a glance at Hunter. 

“At least?  You’re carrying more???” Hunter quirked an eyebrow. 

“Of course.”  

They both took aim. 

A Rodian dressed in medical attire and an Empire Storm Trooper, dressed in plain white armor, ran towards Hunter and Mad screaming “LEAVE!  WE’VE BEEN INFILTRATED!!!” 

The Rodian grabbed Mad, trying to drag her away with them. 

Hunter and the Storm Trooper’s eyes met.  Hunter IMMEDIATELY sensed he was not a threat. 

“A few soldiers and I DEFECTED from the Empire.  CX-Troopers TRACKED us!” The Stormtrooper yelled as he ran past. 

“CX WHO???” Hunter yelled back. 

Then the hair on the back of Hunter’s neck stood up straight.  He yanked Mad out of the way of a blast bolt.  Unfortunately, it hit the Rodian doctor and she fell to the ground.  Hunter berated himself for not anticipating. 

Mad squeezed off a shot.  It impacted the CX’s pauldron, throwing him off balance, but still alive. 

LOVE threw out a Force shield around them all. 

Hunter and Mad provided cover fire while watching the stormtrooper drop to the ground over his comrade.   

The Stormtrooper yanked up his helmet and a Mirialan TEENAGE BOY of no more than 15 or 16 peered out from under the armor. “Reeda!  Let’s get you up.” 

The older Rodian sadly replied.  “No... RUN Jebith.  Take them with you.  Be safe.”  She yanked a detonation device off Jeb’s belt and activated it. 

Jebith embraced Reeda, wiping a tear from his eye, then glanced up at Hunter.   

Hunter, shocked, threw his hand out to the teen.  “Come with us!  We’ll get you off world!!!” 

Jebith grasped Hunter’s arm, and he hauled Jeb to his feet. 

Hunter grabbed Mad and RAN!  Jebith on his heels.  LOVE levitating quickly behind him, keeping the Force shield.  The CX-2 regained his footing, openly stalking and attempting to blast them dead. 

Unfortunately, NOBODY got very far before the device went off.  A blinding flash of light sent EVERYONE flying backwards.  Hunter and Jeb had their armor, LOVE had The Force... 

...Mad was RIPPED from Hunter’s grasp...she had NOTHING. 

LOVE was pushed violently away like a leaf in the wind.   

Hunter and Jebith found themselves thrown like toys.  Jeb cleared a tree by millimeters as he flew.  Hunter anticipated his trajectory and was able to tuck and bounce off a large branch, his clone physique MUCH hardier than a human.  He landed on the ground yards back, continued to roll as he contacted the ground, then flipped up in a crouched standing position. 

Hunter scanned the area around him.  He attempted to see past the smoke and debris raining down.  “MAD?  LOVE?  JEB???” 

Jeb landed HARD, then managed to lift his head in time to see Hunter run off. 

Hunter and Jeb heard a blood curdling wail. 

Hunter went into autopilot and ran blindly towards the sound.  He could almost taste singed flesh, fresh blood, and smell LOVE’S fear as it joined with his.  He ignored the small raining debris and instinctively dodged the larger ones.  Hunter tracked low to the ground, almost on all fours as he wove, dodged trees, and uneven ground. 

The smoke cleared as he approached LOVE howling in emotional agony.  They were holding Mad... both covered in blood... 

I TRIED...I... COULDN’T CATCH HER IN TIME!!!  LOVE screamed inside Hunter’s head. 

...bloody flower petals strewn across the forest floor.  Purple contrasting with crimson red.

A beautiful thing destroyed in an instant... 

To read Chapter 22 "THE TEMPEST":

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/762939005812801536/vagabonds-chapter-22?source=share

Please let me know if you wanted to be added to my taglist or removed! Thanks so much for your support!!!

[starplusfourletters]

I finally finished the last command

and it was a romp (spoilers)

Chewie spends the whole book on the edge of a nervous breakdown but buddy you very much did that to yourself. Sure, you swear a life debt to a guy who turns out to be One of the People in the Galaxy That Things Just Keep Happening To. Bad luck, bound to happen sometimes. But then you decide that life debt extends to his wife knowing FULL WELL that Even More Things Just Keep Happening to HER, and then they go and have TWINS? That’s on you, bud.

Mara “I still do want revenge on Luke Skywalker yes definitely now hold that thought I need to go risk my life to save Leia and the twins” Jade. Mara you’re embarrassing yourself.

Actual conversation:

Leia: Thanks again for saving my life. Mara: Don’t thank me until after I’ve killed Luke which I still absolutely want to do. Leia: So uhhh why’d you do it? Mara: I’m just opposed to kidnapping. Leia: Were you kidnapped? Mara: I dOn’T wAnT tO tAlK aBoUt iT yes. Leia: ... Mara: YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT MY TROUBLED PAST?? Leia: … Mara: BECAUSE IT’S NOT Leia: … Mara: Anyway here’s the information only I can provide that will turn the tide of the war. It’s free. Friends and family discount. Leia: Thanks. Mara: I’M STILL GOING TO KILL YOUR BROTHER Leia: That’s nice, dear.

MY KINGDOM FOR GHENT. His dad boss forgets to pick him up from AV Club so he spends two months wandering unrestricted through the capital building and then cracks Enigma because he’s bored

A TWELVE-DAY Character Bonding Hiking Trip??!? Zahn’s really outdone himself this time

WAIT THIS WHOLE TIME MARA DIDN’T KNOW LUKE AND VADER ARE RELATED?? Omigod that’s HILARIOUS. I mean, yeah, I guess it just never came up? And she didn’t watch the OT movies? That’s very funny to me for some reason. I definitely assumed she’d gotten that memo

Oh man it really feels like I should have seen that reveal coming and I absolutely did not. Gawd I love the 90s. Wowowowowowow. Chef’s kiss. I have so many questions about the Bespin janitorial system

“LUUKE” I’m dying

Admiral “It appears to be a trap.” Akbar

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Good vs. Evil Star Wars content to bring you “the two Evil factions getting in each other’s way vs the two Good factions getting in each other’s way until they all realize we’ve hit the end of the book and just start attacking everything indiscriminately”

The Climactic Battle Scene:

Luke: Fighting his clone! Han: Pew pew pew pew! Mara: Psychic defense! Psychic attack! Leia: Dual wielding blaster and lightsaber! Karrde: In the back, petting his doggos and talking on his phone I was legit worried about his safety in this book. But he's not dumb; he knows he doesn't have enough plot armor to take on the Big Bad. He is simply the best there is

Wedge / Aves is the rarepair I didn’t know I needed

RUKH!!

Oh thank God the doggos are okay

So as far as I can tell Thrawn made one mistake that wasn’t just bad luck and it was doing a shit job of getting Mara out of the way. The dude really should have had MORE of his enemies killed

Thesis statement: Aww Themb! <3

Now I just need to watch someone explain this series to Ep9-era Palpatine. Preferably in the style of Worthikids.