#dickie's questionable fashion choices

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 10: Space Invaders Part 1

~In the Man Cave~

Swellview was known for a lot of things: a terrible police force, some awesome superheroes and more supervillains than the mayor knew what to do with. But one thing that was not common knowledge was that it had a rather talented astronaut currently circling the Earth high above the city's tallest skyscrapers.

Well, it was widely known now because of the "tragedy". Jim Dickie, the hotshot astronaut and his buddy, Neil, had been taken hostage on their space station and since the Earth's upper atmosphere fell out of the Swellview cops' jurisdiction, Captain Man had taken it upon himself to bring back his town's hero. And Miss Danger was just as patriotic, just less thrilled about how they were gonna be getting there.

"What kind of maniac holds two astronauts captive?" (y/n) asked her boyfriend as they jogged down from the sprocket. They needed to use the supercomputer and even if it meant they had to roll out of each other's arms and exit the comfort of their bedroom, they were gonna make contact with Henry.

"I don't know, but we need to get Henry here and fast," Ray replied and strolled up to the holo-caller, his large fingers immediately punching in the digits he needed for his sidekick's whiz watch. They couldn't go into space Kid Danger-less and no matter what he was doing, he had to drop it and get to the Man Cave ASAP.

"Ray!" Henry's little floating figure appeared in front of them after a few seconds of waiting. The boy hated that he had to lie to his family every time he had to take a call, but duty calls.

"Henry! There's an emergency in spac--are you wearing a Fred Lobster shirt?" The pressing task at hand was swiftly out of the window for Ray as he took notice of the odd choice of shirt Henry was wearing. It was weird to wear something that promoted a seafood restaurant, but he rocked it anyway because it was for Piper and some dumb commercial she had landed a role in.

"Uh, yeah." Henry smiled, looking down briefly to catch a glimpse of the lobster mascot smiling back at him.

"Why?" (y/n) questioned, unable to help her curiosity at Henry's fashion lapse. She knew Jim and Neil were in danger or whatever, but the longer they took, the more time she had before literally rocketing off-world. Plus, it also gave Ray a little more time to slide his hand into the back pocket of her jeans, a move that she'd chastise him for later, but deep down, she secretly loved.

"'Cause, my sister's in a Fred Lobster commercial, so I bought this shirt, but--" The kid started to explain, but then Ray's sense of urgency crept up on him and forced the superhero to butt in. 

"All right, look. There's no time to talk about your shirt!" He snapped, making Henry frown. Geez, he was in a crabby mood, no seafood pun intended. 

"But--But (y/n) asked me." He stuttered, baffled at how Ray could go from fascinated to bossy in point two seconds, especially since he had his girlfriend next to him. She usually mellowed him out.

"We have an emergency! Guess where we're goin'?" Ray smirked at his sidekick through the hologram and (y/n) gulped at the idea. She wasn't a baby and she'd been on crazy flights before, but outer space seemed so daunting. How did the mousy college student turn into a crime-fighting, space-visiting superhero?

"To space?" Henry gasped, the thrilled smile growing on his face by the second. This was huge, space was, like, the dream destination for any kid who loved adventure and adrenaline as he did. If he could brag about this, he so would. Henry Hart, the boy in space, now that had a good ring to it.

"Not just space, Hen. Outer space, like you know, space that's outer." (y/n) giggled nervously, trying to be braver than she felt. 'Just breathe, Ray will be with you.' She breathed to herself and tried to remember that this wasn't a suicide mission or anything. They were coming back...hopefully.

"Wait, how are we gonna get to outer space?--" Henry asked, but once again, Ray "I can't focus for more than two minutes" Manchester was off on a tangent. 

"Y'know, (y/n) and I were in a Fred Lobster last week, and they told me they didn't have those shirts anymore," Ray mentioned, making the young woman next to him groan. It was true; they did go to Fred Lobster last week, for an actual date that didn't involve Drill Finger and psychotic teenagers. It was a lovely evening, just the two of them and it was all going smoothly until Ray asked for the bill and...he started an argument about lobster t-shirts. Typical Manchester move.

"Not this again..." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. It was just a damn shirt and yes, he would look super hot wearing one and yes, the seams would probably pop as they tried to stretch over his biceps, but was it worth more bickering? No.

"Uh, yeah. I had to order this one online--" Henry just couldn't catch a break today. Another interruption from Ray meant his sentence was cut off again and he was starting to get cheesed off. 

"Oh, so, you really wanna talk about lobster shirts while astronauts are in danger?" Ray scoffed, trying to build up an argument, but his pettiness outshone anything he was trying to say. He was in a really grouchy mood, probably because he had to stop cuddling his sweet girl earlier than he would've liked.

"You really wanna talk to me with your hand on your girlfriend's butt?" Henry bit back, causing his boss to pull his hand out of (y/n)'s back pocket like he'd been burnt. It was a good comeback and the blush that covered Ray's cheeks made (y/n)'s embarrassment worth it. 

"Henry Prudence Hart! You little...just get to the Man Cave!" (y/n) squealed, feeling all flustered since she hadn't known the kid could see. If she had known, the hand squeezing her ass would've been given a sharp smack straight away.

"How do you know my middle name?" It was Henry's turn to blush. His second name was a sore point for him and it killed him that (y/n) had sneakily discovered it behind his back. She'd have to thank Charlotte later.

"Fast!" The young woman replied curtly, pointing a stern finger at the boy who thought he had the upper hand. It was never a good idea to try and outwit her.

"Okay, I'm on my way." Henry sighed and snapped his watch shut. He got the feeling that he'd been beaten, even if it was amusing to see Ray lightly fan his still scarlet cheeks. He never cared if Schwoz saw him like that, the little guy normally just scuttled off when he was making a move on his girl, but in his mind, Henry was still the cute little kid from two years ago. He was so innocent and cute, even though he was on the verge of becoming an adult.

"Y'see? That's why you don't put your hand on my ass when other people are around!" (y/n) scolded her boyfriend as soon as the pixelated Henry disappeared from the computer. Here came the chastisement, not that Ray was scared, she was so cute when her nose screwed up in anger.

"But I love your sweet, little heinie." He smirked and brought his hand back down and around her waist so it could slide to her butt. The blush rose from her neck and the words died in her throat, making him chuckle in amusement. There was that little nose wrinkle he adored.

"Yeah, well, Henry and Charlotte will be here soon, so it better be gone by the time they get here!" She told him, her voice wobbling slightly as he rotated his body so he was facing her completely and then another large palm came to rest on the other cheek. 

"We've got, like, twenty minutes and we got outta bed way too early." He mumbled, leaning down to capture her lips with his. Maybe his mood would perk up a bit after this.

~

Well, the peace didn't last long. Charlotte was speedier than usual, meaning the couple had mere moments to catch their breaths and shrug their scattered clothing back on. Still, it would do for them and at least Ray had stopped his pouting.

"Happy now?" (y/n) giggled and wiped her sticky forehead with the back of her hand. He was insatiable, not that she was complaining because this was what she'd been dreaming about for eight years. Giggly, midday sex with the hottest man she'd ever met.

"Very, sweet girl." Ray breathed out and pressed a kiss to her forehead after he'd zipped up his hoodie again. Their clothes were a little rumpled, but with a bit of luck, no one would be able to suspect a thing, not when they were hunting for an insufferable little rat known as Schwoz. Yep, Schwoz.

The guy was key for Ray's big plans for getting into outer space because he owned a rocket. Yeah, a rocket; some technical wizardry that would send the three superheroes into outer space and get them to where they needed to be. There were a few wrinkles that needed to be ironed out, mainly that the shuttle had enough space for two people (a small hiccup, easily rectified) and that Schwoz wouldn't give Ray the damn key.

Okay, it wasn't called "Schwoz's rocket" or "Schwoz's spaceship", it was known as "the love shuttle" because its sole purpose was to take Schwoz and his future bride-to-be off on a jolly honeymoon in space. Not that there would ever be a Mrs Schwartz, Schwoz could never get a girl to. look at him twice and him withholding the key was driving Ray insane. 

"Schwoz...I can see you." Ray called out to his handyman as he and (y/n) crept down the sprocket stairs. The little man had caught wind of Ray's plan to use his honeymoon transportation and rather than give it up, he'd swallowed the key and had found refuge of the roof, which seemed like a safe place, but there was one small problem. Ray had a blaster and Schwoz had no cover.

"Go away!" Schwoz hissed and stuck his tongue out at the couple, who weren't fooling him with their glowing faces and rumpled sweaters. They got to have their fun, why did he have to give up his planned fun? The astronauts could save themselves. Deciding that he was being selfish, Ray took a shot at Schwoz, but his notoriety for being a terrible marksman meant he missed by a mile and a load of debris came falling from a new hole in the ceiling. 

"Hahaha! You missed me!" Schwoz giggled as (y/n) gave Ray a pointed look. He knew that he couldn't hit a target to save his life, so why was he the one doing the shooting?

"How did he get up there?" Charlotte pondered, staring at the man in confusion. It was a valid question, the walls were sheer, smooth stone, so it was a wonder how Schwoz had managed to shimmy his way to the top.

"He's like a goddamn ape." (y/n) shrugged and followed behind her boyfriend as they moved into a better firing position. They needed to get Schwoz down, even if it meant blasting him in the ass.

"Come on, Schwoz, you're gonna have to come down from there eventually." Ray pointed out, knowing that the roof didn't have any food or water, which meant that Schwoz's chosen safety spot was a poor one.

"Leave me alone!" The man cried out, hugging a support beam in fear as he braced himself for another round of lasers coming his way. 

"Come on, Schwoz! I need it!" Ray shouted desperately and fired his blaster again, causing more rocks to fall to the Man Cave floor. How they were gonna patch these holes was anyone's guess.

"No! I'm saving it for marriage! You marry (y/n) and you get your own!" Schwoz replied indignantly, making the couple below him freeze up. Marriage was something they had lightly touched upon in their late-night confessions, but it was still a foreign idea to them. They'd spent so long dreaming of mutual love that the thought of a white dress and vows made butterflies flutter in their tummies, but they weren't totally against it. Husband and wife sounded quite nice, it was just a tad premature.

"Hey!" Henry greeted his friends as his tube came down and he landed in the "Mad Cave". Schwoz was on the ceiling, Ray was firing a gun at him, Charlotte and (y/n) were watching, there was dirt on (y/n)'s meticulously clean floors, yep, everyone had gone crazy.

"Hi, Henry." Schwoz smiled down at the young boy, a new perspective for one who was usually so small. Normally, he'd be looking up at the lanky teen, but it was Henry's turn to crane his neck.

"Whoa! Why is Schwoz on the--" Henry gasped, both at Schwoz's remarkable acrobatic feat and the laser that Ray fired at him, which missed and sent more rock chunks to the boy's feet. 

"Ha! Missed me! Missed me! You are very stupid!" Schwoz jeered at Ray, who'd had just about enough of the repairman's lip. If he wanted to get mean, he'd return the favour tenfold.

"Those are not the lyrics!" The superhero growled, shooting Schwoz with slightly more concentration this time. Schwoz whimpered as he felt a burning sensation in his foot, but he clung to the roof even harder, sacrificing his shoe for the sake of his love shuttle.

"Okay, what is going on?" Henry asked, his brain spinning from everything he'd witnessed in the twenty seconds he'd been at work.

"Schwoz won't give Ray the launch key to his little rocket ship," Charlotte explained, blowing her friend's mind. 

"Why won't he-Schwoz has a rocket ship?!" He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the notion of knowing someone who could fly out on a jaunty space trip whenever he wanted. Now that was cool.

"It's called the Love Shuttle!" Schwoz squealed, happy to brag about his invention, but not share it. He didn't want people to roam around his future love nest, that would be weird.

"Why did Schwoz build a love shuttle?" Henry asked, looking at the couple in front of him. He didn't even want to know why their previously smooth outfits were now full of wrinkles and preferred to just look straight past it.

"For his honeymoon." Ray answered, his tone of voice basically saying "yeah, right like that's ever gonna happen". Girls weren't fond of Schwoz, which was sad, but true,

"Yeah, he says that when he gets married, which, let's face it, is only gonna happen with an insane amount of luck, he's going to have his honeymoon on the actual moon." (y/n) rolled her eyes and hugged herself to Ray's arm so she could inhale the smell of his cologne. All this space talk was making her stomach do somersaults. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Schwoz. You're never getting married!" Ray hissed, agreeing with his girlfriend that Schwoz had no chance of getting a girl to look at him, let alone promise herself to him for the rest of time. Although, the glare (y/n) gave her boyfriend suggested that if he kept creating new holes in the ceiling and scratches on her shiny floor from all the rocks, he wouldn't be getting married either.

"It could happen! There are women out there who'll take anybody! And you can't talk! It took you eight years to tell your girlfriend you loved her, so who's the real loser here?" Schwoz poked his tongue out at his boss and tried to fold his arms even though he needed them to stop himself from falling. 

"Give me that key!" Ray yelled, fed up with all the tormenting and before anyone could stop him, he unleashed a series of rapid firepower, but all he got was more mess and a burning sense of failure. Dammit, why couldn't he just shoot the little bastard?

"I think you might be overreacting," Henry told the panting man gently and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from lashing out again. They needed (y/n) cuddles, stat.

"Here, doofus, gimme that. You're never gonna hit him." (y/n) smirked at her boyfriend and took the weapon away from his hand before he could lose his temper again. They already had too much sweeping up to do, god forbid he caused anymore.

"You trying to say I'm a bad shot, sweet girl?" Ray asked the small woman, who gripped the large blaster with her small but deadly hands. Her experienced and dextrous fingers curled around the trigger as she looked to where Schwoz was hanging on and took aim.

"Yeah, I am. You're a shit shot." She deadpanned and slightly squinted her eyes as she honed in on her target. With Ray, Schwoz wasn't scared, but with Miss Danger doing the job, the instinct to scurry for cover reared its head.

"Wait, (y/n/n), no, no--" He cried out, trying to swing his way across the roof like a monkey, but even a moving target was no match for the woman and she blasted him, right on the ass. That would teach him to not mock her boyfriend.

"Ha! You shot his butt!" Henry laughed as Schwoz groaned on the floor. Ray couldn't help but admit defeat and he gave his girl a sweet victory kiss for successfully getting the guy down. Maybe he was terrible with his aim, but if it ended with a kiss every time, (y/n) was down for it.

"Hey! Did you guys hear?! There's a hostage situation up in space!" Jasper's sudden appearance put an end to Ray's happy mood, which progressively soured as the overly-happy boy stepped out of the elevator. His slowness of hearing the breaking bulletin and getting to work irritated the superhero even more, but he kept his cool.

"We heard,"

"We're aware." Charlotte and Ray told him dully, not finding Jasper's exuberance as infectious as (y/n) or Henry did. 

"Well, did you know that one of the astronauts is from Swellview?" The curly-haired boy went on, not realising that everyone in the city had found out before him. He was behind the times, Ray had come up with an entire rescue plan in the time it had taken Jasper to walk to Junk-N-Stuff.

"Yeah, Jim Dickle. I used to have the biggest crush on him when I was in college...until I met Captain Man." (y/n) confessed, but quickly saved it at the end when she heard the low growl in Ray's chest. He did not know that and the thought of rescuing Dick-le was suddenly slightly more bitter for him.

"You went to college with Jim Dickle?" Charlotte looked at her friend in awe, also not knowing that she had actually met the famed astronaut and known him on a personal level, even if personal was far from the truth.

"Well, yeah. I did mechanical engineering and he did...physics and astronaut stuff, so we occasionally bumped into each other. He was older though and a bit of a prick." The young woman shrugged, wondering what she ever saw in that guy. Maybe it was his fascination for all things with cogs and wiring that echoed her own, but she was much happier with her grumpy superhero.

"Stupid Jim Dickle..." Ray mumbled under his breath but soon cheered up when his girl snuggled into his side and leaned her head against his chest. He was the one who got to share her life, no one else and that made him feel so special.

"Well, did you know I was born with eleven toes, but only nine on my feet?" Jasper asked them, knowing that it was something they definitely wouldn't know. Okay, Jasper was born a freak, no doubt about it.

"Eleven?"

"What?"

"What he say?"

"He's a mutant." The four stunned, but also disturbed friends murmured, wondering how the hell Jasper was now walking around with ten normal toes. A miracle of modern science.

"Yeah, who's got news now?" Jasper hissed, glad that he'd rendered them speechless with something, even if it was the weirdest fact about himself. Just as Schwoz began groaning in pain (his butt was spectacularly sore), the computer began to beep, indicating that whilst there wasn't a full-blown emergency going down, there was something that needed Captain man's attention anyway.

"I'll check that," Charlotte told her boss and hurried over to the control panel so she could analyse the data. At least she was helpful.

"Hey, shouldn't you be up at Junk-N-Stuff, watching the store?" Ray suddenly asked Jasper, remembering that he paid the teen to guard his shop on his behalf. He'd be going bankrupt at this point and have enemies crawling all over the place.

"Well, I have to use the bathroom, but the one upstairs is broken," Jasper whined, trying to appeal to (y/n) and her sympathetic side as she reluctantly checked out Schwoz's injuries. It was difficult to remember sometimes that just because she was immune to wounds, it didn't mean others were. Even if Schwoz had been a pain in the ass.

"That's why we told you to use the one across the street at the gas station," Henry replied, getting. there before (y/n) could  with a kinder answer. Going down to the Man Cave was probably quicker, but the fewer times Ray had to be reminded that he'd employed the world's most annoying kid, the better.

"I'm no longer welcome at that gas station," Jasper mumbled, scuffing his shoe against the floor awkwardly. He left it open for Ray and (y/n) to think about why that might be and all sorts of weird and troubling things popped into their heads.

"Do we wanna know?" (y/n) asked as she flopped Schwoz's arm back to his side. She was certain he'd be fine, just whiny for a bit. And sore, very sore.

"Uh-oh. You guys, the space station is gonna be orbiting over Swellview in one hour." Charlotte announced once she had checked out the alarm and saw that their moment of opportunity was quickly drawing near.

"So?" Henry asked in confusion, him and (y/n) leaving Schwoz to moan in pain on the floor. They had more important things to focus on now.

"What does that mean?" Ray added, striding over to the computer so he could see what was happening for himself. 

"That if you guys don't head up there soon, you'll have to wait another twenty-four hours," Charlotte answered, making everyone realise that the space station was orbiting the Earth like the moon and they only had one shot to do this.

"If we don't make it, it could be too late by then." (y/n) panicked, suddenly feeling sick when the urgency mixed with her nervousness. It was safe to say that this was going to be the biggest moment of her superhero career, the most perilous certainly.

"Come on, we have to help those astronauts...at least the one from Swellview who (y/n) used to like." Henry sighed, knowing that it was their duty to help since no one else was. For all they knew, Jim and Neil could be being tortured and interrogated. The mentioning of (y/n)'s schoolgirl crush on the guy made Ray bite his lip harshly to stop himself from cursing his name. He knew that his relationship was exclusive, but other guys just made him prickle up.

"It was for like one year. He graduated and next thing I knew he was on the moon or whatever and I was gainfully employed by a hot superhero." She brushed off Henry's teasing and lovingly placed a kiss on Ray's cheek. Well, he wasn't grumpy now.

"C'mon, Schwoz. Give us the key to your Love Shuttle." Ray begged his battered and bruised friend, who had only just got to his feet. He was clutching his butt in pain and the handyman was still grouchy about being shot own from his hidey-hole.

"Wait, why doesn't NASA just send someone up there to help the astronauts?" Jasper suddenly jumped in with a reasonable question and Schwoz agreed. You'd think that a governmental agency like NASA would jump at the chance of bringing home two national heroes, but in reality, they weren't so keen.

"No can do. They just sent a supply rocket up two days ago and it's gonna take them six months to whip another one into shape." (y/n) shook her head, remembering Trent Overrunder saying something on the topic when she and Ray were watching the news in their bedroom,

"Well, can't we just borrow a rocket from China?" Henry asked, not realising that "China" and "rocket" shouldn't be said together in Ray's presence. Touchy subject.

"No! No! I'm not getting inside a Chinese rocket ever again!" Ray snapped moodily, making the boy drop the subject immediately. Looks like their only shot was the Love Shuttle and Schwoz still needed buttering up.

"Hey, come on, Schwoz. Let us use your Love Shuttle." Henry told the guy gently, seeing that a calm, soft approach was best. 

"Yeah. You're never gonna need it." Ray added in, still a strong believer in the fact that Schwoz would get married the day pigs started flying - never, not a chance in hell.

"I will! For when I get married!" The small man insisted, but his friends weren't so convinced. All his past romances had failed and merely getting a date was a mammoth task.

"Oh, to what, Schwoz? What's gonna marry you?" Ray exclaimed dramatically, thinking that Schowz could only score mutants freaks or blind alcoholics for lovers.

"Gerta, your robot girlfriend that you built specifically for yourself, even she left you. Surely, that tells you something." (y/n) sighed in exasperation, hating to see Schowz build himself up just to be knocked down. The truth hurt; Schwoz was never getting a girlfriend.

"Nooo...we...we're just taking a break." Schwoz shrugged, trying to make himself feel better, but deep down, he knew that his chances of seeing Gerta again were slim to none.

"Oh, come on!" Ray threw his hands up in the air. The guy was in denial and it was so frustrating to put up with. 

"She turned herself into a bird, Schwoz! Then she flew away!" Charlotte recalled and Ray imitated a bird flying away with his hands. Geez, that seemed like ages ago, back when Ray still thought he didn't deserve (y/n)'s love and she thought he would never look her way.

"Wait, when did that happen?" Jasper asked, flabbergasted at this new information. He had missed so much when he wasn't in the know with Henry's secret identity and everything was news to him.

"Last season," Henry answered aloofly to no one in particular.

"So you mean winter?" Jasper asked, confused with Henry's odd choice of language.

"Yeah, that's what he meant. Back when Ray was still my best friend." (y/n) smiled at her. boyfriend fondly, who pecked her hairline to show her that he regretted every second they spent together as just friends. He wished his younger self would've been braver, but things had worked out well enough and he was happy now.

"Look, buddy..." Ray stepped away from his girl momentarily so they could work the old charm on their little genius friend. 

"Dah, don't choke me!" Schwoz jumped at the sight of Ray's large hands stretching out towards his neck and the man held them up to his ears to show that he didn't mean to be threatening.

"Look, Schwoz, are you planning to marry someone in the next...ten hours?" (y/n) asked him, getting a rough estimation of how long they'd be gone in space. Ten hours: too many in her mind, but she'd die before they left without her.

"Well, I don't plan to, no." Schwoz shrugged, supposing that if it was for that meagre time, he might be tempted to let them borrow it just this once.

"Okay, so just lend us your Love Shuttle, and we'll bring it right back." Ray smiled, his hands patting Schwoz on the back in a friendly matter. Now, they just had to clinch the deal.

"And I'll bake you a batch of my oatmeal raisin cookies. The ones you love..." (y/n) told her friend in a sing-song voice and gave him a. sneaky smile. Bribery was always a good option.

"I do like your cookies. You promise to be careful with it?" Schwoz gave the grinning couple a stern smile and Henry decided that he should swear on their behalf. 

"We all promise." He said, walking over to Schwoz who took a second to mull over their oath. It was his precious ship and it had to be perfect for his future wife.

"And you two promise to not do grown-up things in it?" Schwoz lowered his voice to add in the final clause of the agreement, but everyone heard it, even Charlotte and she was on the other side of the Man Cave.

"Ew!" She and Henry groaned, their faces screwing up in disgust as Ray and (y/n)'s ears started to burn. Seriously? Did he have to say something so embarrassing?

"Schwoz! We're not animals!" (y/n) shrieked, hiding her face into Ray's shoulder so she wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. Like they would do it in Schwoz's weird love nest spaceship whilst on a life or death mission. Geez, they weren't that desperate.

"Well, never say never." Ray joked, laughing when the young woman gave him a furious look and Schwoz stamped his foot in anger. He didn't want to give his rocket to some jokers and Henry and Charlotte didn't want to hear this conversation. Adult things, ew.

"Schwoz, just give us the damn launch key!" (y/n) snapped at the handyman, who was enjoying her discomfort way too much.

"Okay...hold out your hand." Schwoz sighed, giving in to their demands. Doing as he had instructed, Ray stretched out his hand to receive the key, thinking that like any normal person, Schwoz would have the key in his pocket or on a chain, but no. The little weirdo had swallowed the key and began to gag and gargle to get it from his stomach.

"Oh my god..." Charlotte wretched, feeling like she was gonna puke if she even dared to peek through her fingers.

"I can't watch this...but I can't look away." Henry was feeling the same, but at the same time, he had a morbid fascination with seeing Schwoz regurgitate the key like an emperor penguin. He really was a freak of nature.

"What are you doing?" Ray asked the smaller man, not realising that it was a huge mistake to volunteer to be the recipient of the key.

"Are you sure you want to hold your hand out?" (y/n) whispered to him, but it was too late. The key erupted from Schwoz's mouth and landed in Ray's palm as a slobbery, bile-covered mess. 

"Ew!"

"Gross!"

"It's wet!" The teens cried as (y/n) swiftly stepped back from her boyfriend. She loved him, but not when he had half of Schwoz's stomach contents in his hand. 

"That's the launch key." Schwoz panted, feeling both queasy and exhausted from the strain he had put on his digestive system. He'd puked once, now he wanted to puke again.

"All right, Jasper. Looks like Captain Man needs your help." Ray told the aforementioned boy in his hero's voice, knowing that it would trigger his need to please his idol no matter what was asked of him.

"Sure! Anything! What do you need?" Jasper rushed past Henry, (y/n) and Charlotte to enthusiastically bounce in front of Ray, who took advantage of his generous nature by wiping the icky launch key on his shirt. 

"You're a good boy," Ray told Jasper, who quickly forgot about his filthy t-shirt when he heard Captain Man's praise, but (y/n) wasn't so impressed.

"And you're a bad man," She quipped back, shaking her head at Ray as he admired the now spotless key. No matter her sarcasm though, she couldn't get away from one thing, mission save the astronauts was about to lift off.

~In the Love Shuttle~

It was go time; Ray, Henry and (y/n) had taken their positions onboard Schwoz's craft, which was strangely decorated in a way that only Schwoz would think was intimate or romantic, and they were taking the final steps for launch. (y/n)'s heart was hammering inside her chest and she was praying Ray wouldn't feel it. Since Schwoz had built the rocket for two people, there were only two seats, so she had been forced to snuggle into Ray's lap, an experience that was both a blessing and a curse. His strong arms around her were comforting, but she didn't want him to sense her dread and send her home, that would be awful.

"Okay, guys, I'm now going to insert the key into the console," Ray told his sidekicks and reached around his girlfriend's hips so he could slot it into its hole.

"Uh, okay," Henry said cooly, feeling completely chill with the whole setup, even if he was probably the youngest person in Swellview to ever go into outer space. 

"I did it." Ray smiled at the two, who weren't sure if he wanted a round of applause or something. The boy just wanted to ensure the coordinates were punched in correctly and (y/n) was trying not to freak out. 

"Well done you." She breathed out with an airy chuckle and hoped that she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. There was nowhere safer than being in Ray's arms and it's not like she was going to die if they crashed, but leaving Earth sounded so crazy in her mind. She had no time to dwell on it though as she soon caught on that Henry and Ray were feeling for their gum tubes and she did the same.

"You are aboard the Love Shuttle. Welcome, Schwoz and...woman's name. Prepare for your honeymoon." Okay, that was the weirdest onboard announcement ever recorded in the history of aviation. Hearing Schwoz's voice on the tape was odd and the cheesy, romantic music that followed made the whole thing even more insane, especially when Henry and Ray started to dance in their seats.

"Ray..." (y/n) whimpered, trying to keep her balance as her boyfriend sneakily ground his hips against her. Like hell was she going to let him have her twice in one day, especially when they were supposed to be professional, but that didn't mean that the friction of his jeans didn't feel good.

"Okay, Schwoz! Schwoz, how do I turn this love music off?!" Henry suddenly yelled into his headset when he realised that they were actually here to do serious things, not listen to some groovy music. 

"Oh, come on. Love music isn't for turning off. It's for turning on." Schwoz joked and continued to slide across the Man Cave's floor to the beat of the saxophone. 

"Amen to that," Ray growled into his sweet girl's ear, his hands coming to rest between her upper thighs. It was a dangerous attempt to try and persuade her to give in just this once, so he could indulge in the sweetness he'd been denied for seven years, but they just didn't have the time.

"Don't worry, I got it." (y/n) told Henry and felt Ray slump back in disappointment as she killed the track. Ugh, killjoy.

"Okay, Henry, (y/n), Ray, we pre-set the flight computer to automatically take you to the space station." Charlotte's voice came over the radio and the crew settled down to begin the takeoff procedures.

"Copy that. And we are...prepped for launch." Henry confirmed, flicking the last of the switches in the cockpit and they all let out an excited gasp when the rocket's thrusters began to power up. 

"Hey kid, let's go to space and kick some ace." Ray chuckled and his silly comment made (y/n) relax a little. It wasn't a death sentence, more like an adventure and that thought helped her get in the mood for their trip.

"To the stars!" Henry declared and the three blew their bubbles so they could leave the Earth as superheroes, which was awesome to hear over the radio in the Man Cave.

"Hey, we're so cool." (y/n) giggled as they stretched out their costumes and got used to having them on. Ray was particularly pleased with the costume change since it meant he was now able to let his hands roam around his girl's smooth thighs. Sure, his gloves were in the way, but that was just a minor technicality.

"Never done that sitting down before," Henry commented, noting how every time he'd ever transformed into Kid Danger, it had always been when he was stood up.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was gonna work," Ray replied and the two boys laughed at the adrenaline high they were experiencing, leaving (y/n) to roll her eyes at them.

"All right, you guys. I just wanted to say...be careful up there." Jasper told the giggling boys, drawing them back to calmness. They had to have their minds focused because this shit was high-risk.

"Roger that," Henry answered, glad that he had his best friend at the base to keep him grounded. Jasper's support was just what he needed to keep any doubt at bay.

"We copy," Ray replied solemnly too, remembering that not only was he putting himself in danger, but he was also taking his entire world with him in his arms. Lying back with her cuddled up against him made it so easy to forget, but he was determined to keep her out of harm's way. 

'Cause, you three are the only, Ray, (y/n) and Henry I have!" Jasper added, his sweet words going over the boys' heads, but at least (y/n) could appreciate his sentiment. 

"Aw, thanks, Curly!" She told him happily, thinking that he'd leave it there, but nope...

"I've never told you this before but...I just wanted you guys to know that..." He sniffled and his imminent confession caused all those listening to cringe, hard.

"Hit it." Ray quickly ordered Henry, who wasted no time in whacking the launch button. Ray only needed one person to say those three little words, and that person wasn't Jasper. As soon as the button was pressed, the rocket propelled itself into the air and each hero was pressed into the seats as the immense g-force of the takeoff affected them

"We're going to space!" Ray exclaimed as he gripped the wall with one hand and tightly secured his girlfriend to his chest with the other. He didn't want her to roll around the cabin and hurt herself and it was so nice to feel the way she buried herself into the safety of his chest.

"I know! It's so fun!" Henry cried out, loving every minute of the blast-off, although it felt like his face was going to be peeled off from the force.

"This is your idea of fun?!" (y/n) hissed back and braced herself against Ray so she could wait for them to reach the outer atmosphere. It wouldn't be long, just a few seconds and then it would be smooth flying from there on out. 

"Cruising altitude. You're now free to walk about the ship, Schwoz and...woman's name." The rocket's automated voice and its creator announced, allowing the superheroes to relax as they started to gently drift towards their destination.

"Space, the final frontier. How many guys can say they took their girlfriends to space, huh?" Ray spoke as they broke free of the Earth's gravity and he altered his voice to sound like some famous captain off an old sci-fi series from when he was a kid. 

"What does that mean?" Henry asked, wondering why his boss was being all mysterious and weird. Obviously, he had never heard of Star Trek.

"Y'know..."the final frontier". Last place in the universe that mankind hasn't explored yet and I'm showing it to my girl. Space!" The superhero exclaimed and wistfully stared at the woman in his lap rather than the stars outside their window because she was infinitely more beautiful to him. 

"What about oceans?" (y/n) piped up after a few seconds of pondering her boyfriend's words. She loved his fawning over her, but what he said wasn't quite right.

"What was that, sweet girl?" Ray mumbled against her hair as Henry too looked at her with confusion. What had the sea got to do with space and frontiers or whatever the hell Ray was on about?

"Y'know, oceans. We haven't explored all of the oceans yet. Eighty per cent of our oceans are unmapped and unobserved, so aren't they an unobserved frontier? Oceans and all the weird little fishies we don't know about yet?" She rambled, feeling a bit drowsy and loopy as his warmth soaked into her body. A small nap wouldn't hurt. 

"Okay, fine. Space, one of the two final frontiers." Ray corrected himself and cradled her neck into his neck as her shallow breaths danced across his collar and exposed skin.

"What about parallel universes?" Henry was soon joining in on the conversation, although a swift finger over his lips from Ray told the boy he wanted to let the sweet little thing in his arms snooze for a bit.

"What?" Ray sighed quietly, not believing that what was meant to be a cute, cool comment was turning into a damn debate.

"Remember that time that Charlotte and I went to that parallel universe?" Henry jogged Ray's memory, making him bite his lip was all the details came flooding back. In that world, he turned evil after losing (y/n), his wife and the mere thought made him shudder. 

"I suppose," He nodded slightly, trying not to make any jagged movements that would disturb his girl from her rest,

"The one where I died." (y/n) muttered and shifted her body so she was comfortably sprawled sideways in Ray's lap. The man had no idea how she knew that, but he didn't want to find out. The less he thought about losing her in all matters of speaking, the better.

"Well, there's probably lots more parallel universes that none of us has explored, so I guess you could say--" The boy tried to explain his theory, but his boss had heard enough. He got it, space was a load of shit, big deal.

"Space! One of many, many remaining frontiers." He snapped in a voice that was a little louder than he wanted it to be and all the shouting made (y/n) flinch in his embrace.

"Stop yelling, doofus. M'trying to sleep." She scolded him with a pathetic slap to the chest, which was more of a light tap since she gave up halfway through. Sleep sounded nice and she just felt so cosy, a few minutes with her eyes closed.

"We'll be there soon," Henry told her, but she just ignored him with nothing more than a hum to answer him. "Soon" actually meant like half an hour or forty-five minutes, plenty of time for a power nap.

"I like sleep. Sleep kicks ass." She muttered incoherently and drifted off peacefully, leaving the boy's to entertain themselves.

~Forty minutes later~

A decent conversation, a game of I-spy and several rounds of rock, paper, scissors later, Ray and Henry were left completely bored. They had nothing to do, no phone signal, no games, no TV, nothing and (y/n) was still fast asleep and dead to the world (or was that space?). Henry had grown tired of watching Ray gaze at her like a lovesick puppy and for the last ten minutes, the cockpit had been silent.

"Ughhhh, I'm sick of just sitting here," Ray complained, shuffling his butt backwards so he could sit up straighter, but still rock his girlfriend like a baby. It was nauseating to see, but certainly better with the knowledge that it wasn't oblivious pining anymore. 

"Shhhh! You'll wake your girlfriend up! And, Schwox said that we should be at the space station pretty--" Henry tried to keep his boss entertained, but he was like a toddler a long flight; five minutes and he was touching stuff again.

"I wonder what these buttons do." Ray mentioned like a curious child and began to tap all of the shiny buttons that caught his eye, even though one wrong move could trigger a self-destruction protocol or something.

"Do I have to slap your wrists again?" A gravelly, sleep-filled voice rumbled into his ear, signalling that his sudden movements had woken (y/n) up prematurely. Well, that was her nap over.

"Don't start pressing random--" Henry too protested, but he started selling when his seat began to vibrate and massage his back muscles. Hello, Schwoz had installed a few gadgets on this thing...nice.

"What's happening?" Ray asked his gleeful sidekick as he giggled and (y/n) slid off his lap so she was sat on the chair in between his legs.

"You made my chair start to vibraaaaaaaate." Henry's voice trembled as his vocal cords were shaken, but even then could the couple hear how pleased he was and his fun made Ray pout.

"Aw, no fair! I wanna vibrate!" He whined and against (y/n)'s pleas, he bashed the buttons randomly again, hoping to score lucky. And he did, one tap and his chair was vibrating too, making him and (y/n) collapse against each other in a fit of giggles.

"This feels sillllllyyyyyy." She laughed at how all of her body was tingling all over, like she was being tickled but without the torture.

"Hey! My voice sounds weird. Listen, ahhhhhhh!" Ray's baritone voice began to wobble and Henry's did too, but their combined sounds covered up the crescendo of the computer telling them that they were five seconds away from docking with the space station. Four, three, two, one...

"Arghhhhh!" They all screamed at the violent impact and the boys quickly shut off the vibrations as they thought about all the worst scenarios in their minds, but everything was fine. 

"Hey, Schwoz, think we just docked with the space station," Ray spoke into his microphone, not realising that the genius had just said the exact same thing to Charlotte when she verbally wondered. what all the noise was about. 

"Oh, really? My goodness, thanks for the information." Schwoz replied sarcastically, but Charlotte ignored him so they could get straight down to business. No time like the present after all.

"Okay, you have a pressure lock, so you are good to enter the space station." The girl told the heroes like a proper controller and they heard her loud and clear.

"Ten-four, good Charlotte."

"We ten-ten on the side."

"Over and out." They replied and shrugged off their headsets so they could stand up at last. This was it, it was just them now and whatever they find on the other side of the door.

"All right, guys, we're about to leave the Love Shuttle and enter the space station. " Ray told his sidekicks, but they didn't need a running commentary, they had their blasters and were ready to kick some ass.

"Yep, I'm up to speed on the story." Henry nodded, feeling like Ray was babying him just to sound cool.

"I also know what's going on." (y/n) added, locking and loading everything she needed to fight any bad guys. Maybe it was an alien, who knows.

"I know, I'm just saying, we have no idea who or what hijacked that space station and we won't know until we go in there and look inside." The man elaborated more, but it was all just waffle. They knew this and were fairly certain that this was just a stall tactic.

"Yeah, which is why I've got my gun so I can shoot it or them in the face." His girlfriend nodded, raising her weapon and shaking in front of Ray's face so he'd get the picture.

"Then let's go do this." He nodded.

"Waitin' on you..." Henry mumbled, knowing that he and his fellow sidekick were ready to go, it was the boss who was keeping them behind.

"Set weapons to stun," Ray ordered them, not wanting any deaths or injuries on their hands. Mass murder wasn't Captain Man's style, even if his work involved low-down, criminal assholes.

"Is this right?" Henry asked the experienced couple, whose eyes widened when they saw that his setting was completely, cataclysmically wrong.

"Shit, no, Henry, that's set to melt. You wanna melt the place into a puddle?" (y/n) fretted, her panic making the kid rapidly change from one mode to the right one. Well, that could've been a disaster.

"No, I do not," Henry replied, glad that they'd spotted the mistake. A melted criminal would be a long and icky cleanup.

"Give it...here you go." Ray sighed when he saw that the boy was struggling to work with Schwoz's technology and it was just kinder to do it himself than let him struggle. Okay, weapons, check, next, the door. Ray pushed the lock that released the door pressure and the hatch slid open. Into the unknown...well, it would be if either one of them knew some common courtesy.

"Do you wanna go first?" Ray asked his sidekick and after a few seconds of floundering, the two had worked out that Henry would go first. Geez, it took them ten minutes just to leave the damn rocket.

"Ray..." (y/n) grabbed his wrist just before he entered the hatched and he turned around to see her big, round eyes staring up at him with so much wonder and love. 

"Yeah, sweet girl?" He whispered, brushing some stray hairs away from those eyes so he could gaze into them one last time before they entered the battlefield.

"I love you." She told him cutely, wanting to say it as in their line of work, every moment could be their last.

"I love you too. Always." He whispered their promise again and sealed it with a hungry kiss that was far too short for his or her liking, but the desire it left only meant that the next would be so much better.

"Always." She mumbled against his lips and reluctantly pulled away so he could step through the hole first. Their hands were tightly conjoined as he checked to see if Henry was still alive with no mad murderers around. Thankfully, there were none and they were left in an eerily quiet room with nothing but the pulsing beeps of the machinery around them. God, this was spooky. 

"Okay, kid, stay cool," Ray told his sidekick, who was nervously clutching his blaster for dear life since a sneak attack could happen at any given instance. Anything could happen, for example, a small, metal door could fall from the ceiling and crack (y/n)'s skull, sending her to the floor in agony and Henry into hysteria. Shit, what a good start.

"Ahhhh, what is that? What is happening?" Henry squealed in fear as Ray instinctively threw his gun down and ducked down to shield his girlfriend on the floor from any more blows. His sidekick rolled around, shooting rapid-fire at every blinking light he saw. "Cool" went out of the window; Henry was suddenly shit scared and Ray was fretting over the blood flowing through (y/n)'s hair whilst her skin patched over. No biggie, the wound was gone in a flash, but it left them all on edge.

"Hey, I think I got whatever it was that attacked (y--" Henry's caution was right, something was going on. Two more pieces of metal fell from the ceiling and whoever or whatever dropped them had blinding accuracy since they hit Captain Man and Kid Danger on the head too. 

"Captain Man? Miss Danger?" A sweet, innocent voice sounded out and the three heroes looked up in horror to see that a little girl had swiped Ray's gun and was now pointing it directly at them. A kid was behind this? What the actual fuck!

"Uh, I'm here too. Kid Danger, also relevant." Henry groaned as Ray helped his girlfriend to her feet and gulped at the predicament they found themselves in. The blood trickling down her forehead was no longer a concern as (y/n) prayed for salvation.

How were they gonna get out of this one?

[garzamccurdy8]

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Selina Steals a Bug from Batman to get her Kitten.

blame this post here for this thing's inspiration, and a friend for encouraging this.

--

             Selina paused when she saw ‘the lost Wayne’ news. She knew Bruce didn’t adopt another kid and forget to tell her—Dick kept her up-to-date on his new siblings and sent her pictures. No, her boyfriend Bruce Wayne would certainly not hide a new Wayne from her.

             He absolutely would forget to introduce her to a new family friend or potential bat. She was still upset about how long it took him to admit that little Stephanie had been working with his son for months and he hadn’t thought to invite the girl over for a meal or two when Selina was over. It wasn’t like she didn’t already know Tim was dating another vigilante… it was that one of her not-technically-my-sons was not introducing her to someone who had saved his life multiple times and who happened to be another Gotham vigilante and another addition to the batfam.

             Selina is their unofficial mother after all, she has rights. Any possible members of their little bat family, and she must assess them. at the very least, teach them more than just Bruce’s habits. The man was horrendous at showing his actual emotions, and the kids would need a counter example to that—herself obviously.

             So imagine Selina’s surprise when she decided to surprise her boyfriend and his children with a visit, only to find a young teen drinking out of Tim’s favorite mug, wearing one of Dick’s more infamous Nightwing hoodie’s, and looking at one of Damian’s katana’s carefully.

             “Who are you?” Selina had a feeling this was the latest “not a Wayne” and she would have to ensure her bats were safe from a fellow thief… again.

             The teen looked up, almost startled by her appearance and nearly dropping the katana.

             Selina raised an eyebrow.

             The teen flushed. “Marinette.”

             “And what,” Selina strolled over to the table and sat on its edge. “Exactly are you doing with all of these?”

             The girl was smart enough to look a bit embarrassed, she'd give her that much. Not without shame. Good.

             “Well, uh, kind of complicated, but, uh, the boys said that I couldn’t manage to grab their favorite things.”

             Selina looked the girl over. She was probably the new one to the group, the spotted French girl Jagged Stone mentioned in a few of his songs. She was young, and clearly good at getting what she wanted.

             “Where’s Jason’s?”

             “Uh, how did you…”

             “Answer the question.”

             “… behind the gardener’s shed. He really needs to stop leaving his keys in easy access pockets.”

             Selina nodded, looking over the girl. She was twisting a familiar looking ring… wasn’t that one of the Wayne family rings!?

             “How did you get that off Bruce?” Selina feigned nonchalance.  

             “… don’t judge me.”

             “Too late. Talk.”

             “Accidentally, I swear, just, he left the safe open and mid-terms stress and then…” the girl gestured helplessly.

             Selina could appreciate the honesty. She could also appreciate that the girl managed to get something off each boy.

             But now came the real test.

             “Kleptomaniac kind?”

             The girl flushed harder. “Yeah… I was going to return it, eventually… I think.”

             Selina looked over the girl once more, suddenly seeing an opportunity she should have taken back when she first saw Tim stalking her bats way back when. She could use her own mini.

             “How do you feel about cats?”

             Marinette shifted gears at that. “Real, memes, or Chat Noir?” Selina could feel there was a story there, one for another time. “If we’re talking real, they’re amazing, the memes are fun and Chat is…” the girl shook her head. “Complicated. And in London apparently, so he can’t judge me for my poor life choices.”

             Oh, Selina likes this one. “I’m guessing you’re Brucie’s latest pet project?”

             Marinette scrunched up her face at that. “I’m here to force a sense of fashion on this family if it kills me.”

             Selina smiled at that. “Oh, I do believe we’re going to get along wonderfully.” She extended her hand. “I go by Catwoman in the field.”

             Marinette paused for a moment before taking the extended hand with a grin of her own. “Ladybug—though we might want to go with something else for this... how do you feel about panjas bracelets?”

             Selina’s grin grew. “Oh, we’re going to get along perfectly.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

             In the Batcave there was a meeting being held by a distressed Nightwing, impatiently waiting for the others to finish arriving.

             “Batgirl?”

             “She’s not on tonight,” Red Robin answered, quietly sipping his espresso in one of his lesser mugs. It seems like his bean got to his favorite earlier…

             “Black Bat?” Nightwing asked Batman.

             “She’s running with the Birds of Prey tonight—Oracle’s idea.”

             Nightwing seemed to accept this. “I’ll just forward them the power point.”

             Red Robin groaned. “Another one?”

             Red Hood shook his head. “Blame B. He got it in Dickie’s head that this is how you explain things to people. Bullet points.”

             “No names in the field,” Robin snapped.

             “No names in the field,” Red Hood mocked under his breath.

             Robin glared at him for that.

             “It’s a very effective method.” Batman stated defensively.

             “Yeah, on the League,” Red Robin grumbled into his coffee. The Batfam is full of (not really) professional detectives—they are capable of understanding without the bullet points of doom. Mostly.

             “Then I’ll just get started, Agent A, Lights!”

             The batcave dimmed to show only the projection of a power point title slide ‘Marinette Cannot Meet Selina, Ever.’

             “What the hell is this?” whispered Red Hood.

             “I allowed you to delay patrol, for this?” Batman sighed.

             “Silence! Nightwing is speaking.”

             “Thank you Robin, now, Marinette is under no circumstances to meet Selina.”

             “Why doesn’t he have to use codenames?” Red Hood wondered aloud. Only to be kicked by an aggressive Robin. “Ow! What the hell demon spawn!”

             “Silence,” Robin hissed.

             “As I Was Saying,” Nightwing loudly began. “Marinette is not allowed to meet Selina. It would be a disaster for us all.”

             “Its not she’d adopt her like a certain someone is trying to,” Red Hood stated, pointedly ignoring Robin’s attempts to silence him with threats of violence.

             Nightwing changed the slide with a sigh. “Exhibit A: Marinette enjoys shiny things, and so does Selina.”

             The slide showed two pictures, one of Marinette in various miraculous while holding one of Damian’s daggers, and the other of Selina with a very large gemstone necklace.

“Exhibit B, they are both prone to theft.”

             The next slide showed Catwoman stealing a necklace from a museum, and Marinette in Batman’s cape while using Tim’s phone and wearing one of Jason’s leather jackets, Titus laying at her feet.

             “Marinette does not stop at shiny things, as we can expect of Selina,” Robin explained.

             “You’re just mad Pixie managed to get past your security.”

             Robin glared at Red Hood.

             “That doesn’t explain why bean shouldn’t meet Selina,” Red Robin said. “Hm, maybe I should change the bean blend again? not getting enough of a buzz.”

             Nightwing sighed, changing the slide again. “If the two meet, we lose all we hold dear.”

             This time the slide showed a photoshopped Marinette and Selina sitting on a pile of miscellaneous objects.

             Batman sighed, deciding his eldest was just being overdramatic again.

             “Mari will learn new tricks from Selina.” Nightwing stated slowly. “Tag team with Selina, maybe even be the Robin to her Batman.” That got the room’s attention, albeit not the kind Nightwing wanted. “It would not just be Mari’s minor thefts anymore.”

             Red Robin rolled his eyes while Red Hood snorted a “yeah right.”

             Robin looked nervously as Nightwing finished his powerpoint.

             “Mari would rule Gotham and no one, not even us, would be able to stop her.”

             Batman decided that they wasted enough time on Nightwing’s bout of paranoia. “I highly doubt Selina would corrupt her.”

             At that moment a beaming stripped heroine walked in, wearing a new string of necklaces, with Catwoman at her side with an amused look of her own.

             “How dare you try to hide a kitten from me.”

             Nightwing threw his hands up. “I told you!”

             Batman stared while Robin began checking their systems… no alarms had gone off anywhere and they all knew the pair had stolen the necklaces that Marinette was sporting.

             Nightwing was right.  

             “Holy shit is this really happening?” Red Robin half-whispered, looking back and forth between the pair and a shocked Batman. “Is Catmom pulling a Batdad?”

             Catwoman flashed a smile. “Since someone wouldn’t let me take any birdies, I decided to take a kitten of my own.”

             “Why didn’t you tell me I could have more moms here!” Marinette exclaimed.

             At the groups growing look of horror, Catwoman’s grin grew. “Oh, I forgot to mention, Harley and Ivy are back. They want joint custody. She’s the Marigold Harley’s been tweeting about.”

---

first thing i do after getting real internet back plus have the time to think, and its write and post this. hope you all enjoyed!

[artxyra]

Hi, could you please write a miraculous ladybug salt with Damianette where Marinette and Damian have been dating since before the show starts. Alya believes Marinette has a crush on Adrian even though Marinette is in a relationship with Damian. Alya then tries to break Damianette up in order to get adrianette together. Also Marinette and Adrian met when they were younger due to the dupain-cheng and Wayne's being friends and the Argeste and Wayne's being business friends. Maybe make it Class salt

Pretending to like Adrien may have been the worst decision of her life. Of course, Adrien agreed to it wanting to pretend to be the oblivious just a friend kind of guy. Marinette and Adrien shared laughs at the thought of their classmates trying to get them together not knowing the extent of their relationship prior to meet them.

Let’s rewind a bit.

It started with Sabine and Emilie went to University to together. They were roommates and the bests of friends. From there, Sabine went into dating the baker’s son while Emilie touch interest in a fashion mogul. Everything was perfect for their little group until business started to grow on international levels. Sabine and Tom jumped to stardom after participating in a baking contest in English and became one of Europe’s celebrities in the food industry. Emilie had grown to be loved on the big screen as Gabriel expanded on the family business taking on building the biggest fashion empire in Paris.

Soon the family of twos welcomes new members: Adrien and Marinette.

The children would send the day at each other’s home when their parents were on business trips. They grew to love each other as brothers and sisters. It was Marinette who asked her parents to send her to big brother's house to show him something she had made. Sabine and Emilie cried together when they realize that their children had taken to calling each other siblings.

When Adrien and Marinette were five, the family was welcomed to a Wayne Gala. Sabine and Tom were quick to become friends with a certain Mr. Wayne. Marinette had expanded who siblings to include Dickie and Tim Tam. Adrien was jealous of the competition regarding Mari’s favorite brother.

All was perfect until Mari meet the latest addition to the Wayne family around the age of ten.  Damian Wayne.

He wasn’t like the others, and she had met plenty of the adopted and non-adopted Wayne over the years. He was rude, always looking like he was out to get the world. She at the utmost pleasure in breaking through to the older boy. Her challenge every time she visits was to get him to laugh. She didn’t exceed.

 When Adrien went the young Wayne, he screamed and hid behind Marinette, who at the time was taller than the two boys. Adrien hugged Mr. Kitten, his stuff black cat, like a lifeline until Alfred had called the three kids for lunch.

As they have gotten older, Damian took a liking to Marinette and had developed a crush on her. His older siblings found it hilarious when they found the demon lightly brushing at any mention of the Parisian girl.

Unfortunately, a loss entered the Agreste household. Emilie had fallen sick and had disappeared from the face of the earth. Gabriel didn’t know how to deal with the loss, he ended up giving the Dupain-Cheng temporary custody of his son until he figures out his next move. That was the last time anyone had seen M. Agreste in public. Adrien plenty of surrogate siblings to help him through the loss of his mother, but he also ended up losing his father in the process.

Months before they were to enter college, Damian had asked Marinette on a date. Marinette smiles and wrapped her arms the taller boy’s neck. Her boys had grown to be taller than the girl even if it was by a couple of centimeters. Everyone around them suspects that they’ll be at least 5’9” to 6” while Marinette would grow to be Sabine’s height at best.

Celebrations were made at the announcement of the Dupain-Cheng heiress and Wayne heir becoming a couple. Their parents promise their kids a normal relationship despite media interference. The Dupain-Cheng moved into their smaller bakery as it had an apartment upstairs. The perfect front and it was close to the school that they were sending Marinette to for college.

It was all fine and dandy until Marinette and Adrien received their miraculous. Not even a day after they started college. Marinette had taken a liking to the reporter, but she quickly realizes that she is determined, and that kind of determination can last for a long time.

“I’m fine, Dami,” Marinette says to Damian over video chat. She was working on a commission for a client and Adrien was being no help despite being in the same room with her. Damian raises an eyebrow. “I’m serious, they cannot bring me down.”

“She’s lying.” Adrien sings from his position on the chaise. Marinette turns to the blonde model and glares at him.

“Stay sane, Angel. I’m sure she’ll come to her senses.”

“I doubt it, we’re about to graduate lycée and she's still headset of getting Adrien and me together. I’m pretty sure Luka would hate that.” Marinette begins to stitch together the pieces of fabric in front of her.   

“In that case, I will gladly put a sword through her if she doesn’t stop.” Marinette smiles and laughs at the thought of Damian putting a sword through Alya.

“Well your lunch is ending soon, we’ll talk later?” Marinette says pulling her focus away from the outfit and to the clock.

“Father will understand if I ditch the other half a day.”

“Dami…”

“I’ll go Angel.” Damian folded. “Are you still on for date night tomorrow?”

“I would be crazy if I said it wasn’t.” Marinette waves goodbye to the small screen. The screen goes black signaling the end of the call.

“So, what are we going to do about Alya?” Adrien asks and before Marinette could reply, both of their phones go off. “It’s Nino. Asking if I want to hang out with him and Alya.”

Marinette sighs and sends a quick reply. “Alya texted me about wanting to hang out with her rather than Nino.”

A beat past. “She’s setting us up again.” Groans follow through.

With Alya, she is determined, to get Adrienette together by the end of the school year. This was their final year and Marinette never once managed to work up the confidence to ask the blonde model out.

Today, she was staging an “Operation Adrienette” at the Place des Vosges. Everyone that is a part of the akuma class was there. Alya, standing front and center with Lila, points to the easel with a large poster board.

“Here’s the plan. We all know that graduation is coming up soon, and I tend to make it my legacy to ensure Adrienette becomes canon. They have ditched us for the last time and I planned to end that this week.” Alya states pretending to be heartbroken.

Lila couldn’t help but notice how Chloe and Juleka were missing from the meeting. She doesn’t want Adrienette to happen but when she tried to get Marinette expelled in college, during a photoshoot Adrien had to threaten for her to back off and stop messing with his sister. Their other brothers wouldn’t like that. Since that encounter, she made a deal with the duo and learned very quickly how there was no romantic attraction between them, just mischief. The reason for Lila being her is because Alya and the rest of them are still her puppets and she has to play the supportive friend.

“I’m still salty about the last plan. They were supposed to have a romantic time at the ice rink, and nothing came of it. This time I’m planning a romantic dinner where Nino and I would ditch the two for another booth. That way they are forced to interact with each other.”

“What are we going to do if that backfires?” Rose raised her hand inputting her concerns.

“We don’t expect it to.” Alya confidently states.

It was Friday night when the plan went into fruition. Adrien had agreed to meet up with Nino and Alya for whatever they have planned. He ended up dressing up at the request Alya of blowing up his phone under Nino’s contact name.

Alya was hanging off Nino’s arms smiling at the model. It was creeping him out.

“So why am I here?” He finally asks even though he knew the answer already.

“We’re waiting for Marinette; she’d promised that she’ll be here in a moment.” Alya deflects the question, she looks elsewhere, no doubt to find Marinette. “There she is.”

Marinette walks over to the group. Adrien gasps causing Alya and Nino to smugly smile at each other. Marinette was wearing a red and black T-shirt dress with the icon of Robin in the center.

“Hey gurl, glad you can join us.” Alya pulls away from Nino, giving the poor teen his arm back and formerly greets Adrien.

“Not like a had a choice, Alya.” Marinette murmurs under her breath.

“Of course, you did, look you’re already here and let’s go get to our seats.” Alya pushes Marinette towards the door and gestures for Adrien and Nino to follow.

Before they were event seated, Marinette notices the two-seat table. Like that didn’t raise any red flags about this evening. Adrien and Marinette took to the table first while Alya made up an excuse for her and Nino. They took the seats on the opposite side of the restaurant to spy on the couple.

Marinette stares down at Adrien both looking very comfortable with one another. The waiter came to their table asking if they need anything to which Marinette orders water and Adrien saying that he’s just a stand-in. The waiter didn’t question it.

Alya and Nino had ordered their meals and she was getting fed up with the lack of communication between the two. She would have stalked over there if it hadn’t been for Nino holding her back.

Just then, a tall, sleek dark hair, gentlemen walk over to the table. Adrien immediately gives up his seat to the gentlemen, but Marinette got out from her seat to hug the man. Alya was in shock. Marinette even gave the male a kiss on the lips before wishing Adrien out.

Adrien had the nerve to turn to Alya and smirk before walking back to the entrance and out of the restaurant. Marinette and the male happy hold hands across the table and chatted. When the waiter had returned with Marinette’s glass of water, he doesn’t seem surprised to see the new face. Instead, he takes their order and doesn’t return until the order is ready.

Alya watch as the couple happily eat. Anger could not describe what she was feeling. Who was this gut and how dare he hijacks a date she had been planning for weeks? When Nino finally gave his okay, it was after Marinette and her mystery date disappeared out of the restaurant. Alya wanted to scream and shout. Scream to the heavens to let out all the anguish she was suffering from Adrienette and shout at Marinette for daring to bring another dude in while she has a crush on Adrien.

She must break them up. If that is the last thing she does.

Alya didn’t see Marinette nor Adrien for the rest of the weekend. She tried to go to the bakery, but the girl’s parents informed her that Marinette was not home. Everything was a mess.

When she returned to the classroom that following Monday, the class was all wondering how the date went. Did they finally get together? Alya was near a breakdown.

“You, how could you. Do you have any idea what I had to go through?” Alya shouts at the teen at fault for all her problems.

“Look Alya, I didn’t ask to be set up with Adrien. At first, it was hilarious but now it’s affecting both our love life.” Marinette counters taking her seat in the back. Adrien enters the classroom not long after she sat down.

“Excuse you, but you are destined to be with Adrien.” Alya screeches but her cries go unheard by the two siblings.

The teacher walks in and demands the class to sit down. Alya turns to Marinette and mouths, “This is not over” to which Marinette raises an eyebrow.

Another meeting in the Place des Vosges.

“I have called you all here to take incriminated photos of Marinette. I need to gather as much evidence to break up Mari and this supposed boyfriend of hers. Any suggestions?” Alya asks standing in front of the remains of the class that supports her.

“Oh, I’ve been seeing Marinette a lot lately with these two boys. They’re clearly more than a thing.” Lila lies through her teeth. She already knows that wasn’t the truth but Alya didn’t know that.

“Someone that wasn’t her boyfriend?” Alya raises an eyebrow. Lila nods. “Good, that is excellent news.”

It wasn’t excellent news.

The first attempt was a fail. Marinette was hanging out with Nathaniel and they all knew he was in a relationship with Marc. Apparently, the artist was commissioning a scarf as an anniversary gift.

The second attempt was also a fail. Marinette was with this boyfriend of hers getting ice cream together. They were having a romantic evening.

The third attempt was nearly a success until Juleka rained on their parade saying that Luka was in a happy relationship with some dude and Marinette and he was just friends.

It wasn’t until they were on the fourth attempt that they struck gold. Marinette was spending time with two unknown boys. The designer was out and about in the park throwing frisbees. One of the guys picked her up and spun her around before placing a kiss on her cheek. The class cheered at the thought of finally getting Marinette and Adrien together.

Alya was waiting for the opportunity. She didn’t have to wait long. Marinette and the dude were sitting underneath the tree at Place des Vosges.

“Your girlfriend here is a cheating bitch.” Alya states confidently.

Marinette turns to her boyfriend then back to Alya.

“What makes you think that of my beloved.” The guy asks raising an eyebrow. Marinette was still in his lap.

“I got evidence.”

“Pray tell.”

Alya pulls out a stack of photos. She gave them to the boy who examines the photos. He hid his smirk in Marinette’s neck who was hiding her laughter.

“So that’s why they were here. I really need to place boundaries on those idiots.” He says thoughtfully.

“Don’t you dare.” Marinette counters playfully hitting the male’s chest.

“It seems that you have caught my beloved with my imbecile’s brothers. Those photos that you have of them are without consent. I could press charges against you on their behalf.”

Alya was losing every ounce of confidence she had.

Adding oil to the fuel, Adrien walks over to them hand-in-hand with Luka. He greets them and kisses Luka’s lips. Alya wanted to scream. How could all this go so wrong?

“If you need any indication as to how long I’ve been with Marinette, we have been together since she turned thirteen.” He states kissing Marinette’s cheek in the process.

“But…but,” Alya stutters her brain could not comprehend the situation.

“Alya, dating Adrien would be like dating my brother. We’ve been friends since we were in diapers.” Marinette then adds more fuel to the fire, “You and the class would have noticed had you not been set on this Adrienette ship.”

“Yeah, a simple search online and you would see photos of Mari and me at galas, movie premieres, fashion shows. She and Damian have been in news coverage from the first time they announce their relationship to the recent engagement announcement.” Marinette blush at the thought of the giant ring on her ring finger.

“Alya, in a different universe I would proudly be Adrien’s girlfriend but it’s not this universe.”

“Let’s go, future Mrs. Wayne.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Mr. Wayne.”

Marinette and Damian walk out of the park and head to the bakery.

“Better luck next time Alya,” Adrien smiles before he and Luka follows the two.

Alya was lost for words, she would never get her ship canon. She fell on the green pastures and contemplate life decisions.   

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[awstrck]

Should I finish this?

A truck sped down the streets of Gotham fast, zig-zagging between every car. The truck pulled into a loading dock and the man behind the wheel looked to the other man beside him, "You think we lost her?" He questioned him shakily and the guy looked at the side mirror, seeing nothing but an empty road.

He turned back to the henchmen and shaked his head, "Alright. Good." As those words leave his mouth, a masked woman pounces on the windshield with a hard glare.

"No, you're anything but good." Helena snarled as the two men screamed bloody murder and another guy in the back of the truck held up a gun and started shooting at the windshield, not caring if he hit one of the two in front. He just wanted Huntress off their asses.

Helena dodged the bullets easily but this caused the driver to ram into a steel box, luckily she had time to jump off the running truck. She then opened the door and yanked the two henchmen out of the truck, noticing the third one aiming a gun to shoot at her.

The young heroine disarmed him quickly and knocked his head with it, knocking him out. Helena then turned to the two henchmen, seeing as they were trying to get away. She took out one of her gadgets and threw it, making a perfect shot as the rope swung around the two criminal's feet, making them fall flat on their face.

Helena then walked over to them and shoved them against one of the steel boxes, "Look gentleman, it's been a long night and I am not in the mood for any of you're bullshit, so answer my question and I'll-" a sound cut her off from the truck.

The aluminum container inside started to open as the giant android stood up and stepped down, making the whole ground shake. One of the henchmen's eyes widened, "What the hell is that thing!?" He shouted.

Helena sighed as she turned back to them, "That would be Amazo, an Android that can absorb any and all natural skills and abilities of people he gets close enough to." She explained. Now wishing she had backup, there's no chance in hell she'd could take down that thing by herself.

"What kind of people?"

"Meta ones."

And with that, she took out a smoke bomb and threw it at him but he caught it, making the black smoke leak out from the ball. Helena took that opportunity to knee the Android in the head and kick it while in the air, striking another blow to his head while he was down.

She attempted another hit but Amazo caught her arm and flung her to the side, she tried to block his attack but failed as the punch sent her flying into some shipment cargo. Helena groaned in pain as she hit the floor but ignored it and got back up on her feet.

A familiar voice then intervened, "Packs quite the punch for a toaster on steroids, huh?" Dick joked behind her.

Helena smiled as she turned around to find her big brother standing on top some cargo, "Nightwing, as I live and breathe." She said and placed a hand on her hip.

"Need a hand?"

"If you got a high tech device capable of disabling a meta android in that gauntlet, sure."

Dick then flipped down towards her side, "I don't but I do have a decent fighting style and good looks." He suggested and Helena stifled a laugh.

"I don't think Amazo's interested in a relationship, Dickie." She stated and Dick feigned a hurt expression on his face while placing a hand on his chest.

"Let a boy dream, H!"

Helena was about to reply when a cargo box was thrown they’re way and pushed Dick, "Watch out!" She yelped as she landed on top of him.

"How about you dream later and help me take down this robot, huh?”

"Yeah!"

The two then got back up and used everything they had to stop Amazo from wreaking havoc on Gotham City, eventually some electric plastique blew the Android's head off and they could go home in one piece tonight.

But not before getting some answers from the henchmen who were carrying the thing.

"This shipment was made for the Black Mask and I doubt you were behind this. Who do you work for?" Helena questioned, keeping a hard glare on her face.

She inherited a lot of things from her father, even the famous bat glare.

The three henchmen trembled under her intense gaze, “W-we don’t work f-for anyone! This was all our i-idea, I swear!" one of them stuttered out but their answer didn't satisfy Helena's curiosity.

Giving a nod to Dick, he pressed the button and headless Amazo dropped down an inch above the three henchmen, making them scream in horror as black liquid dripped on their faces.

"Alright, alright! I'll talk just stop!"

Dick then levelled Amazo back up and walked beside Helena, "We're working for the Red Hood, we got no choice. He got a-" He was cut off by a bullet piercing his chest. The other two henchmen followed on pursuit.

Dick and Helena moved out the way and took some cover behind a truck, "The shots came down from the rooftop, a sniper." He informed her and she gritted her teeth as she looked at the three dead bodies.

The two then came out of hiding and Helena took out her binoculars to examine the rooftop and identify the sniper. She zoomed in and caught her killer, "See him?" Dick asked.

"Yeah." Helena spat and shot her grappling gun in the sky as her jet appeared above her and took off, leaving Dick behind.

"Hey, wait!"

"Sorry, only got one seat built in!"

Dick sighed, "Like father like daughter." He said to himself and groaned as he realized she left him to deal with the deceased bodies.

Helena got in the jet and took control of the shift, looking at the map to see where her target had run off to and then looking out the window.

'He's running on foot, not a smart move' Helena smirked to herself as she switch directions to see where he jumped off to. She then found him getting in a car and driving into traffic, zig-zagging in between lanes and bumping into every car.

Helena noticed that there was a tunnel ahead and pressed a button that would enclose the space between the jet's wings. She got close enough to her target's vehicle and shot a hook at the roof.

"Gotcha now." Helena said to herself but spoke too soon when the roof was detached from the car. Gritting her teeth in anger she cut the grappling hook continued following him, recognizing where he was leading her too.

Ace Chemicals.

'Why is he leading me here?' She asked herself and watched as he crashed the car into building and she decided to put the jet on autopilot, jumping out and landing through a glass window on a walkway above various pots filled with acid.

Helena looked around for the sniper and found the vehicle abandoned in front of a container full of acid, she then looked around at the acid and thought about him. The Joker.

This was where he was born and what made him what he is today, a madman.

"What are you thinking about in beautiful head of yours?" A robotic voice asked behind her and she whipped around to see her target above her.

He was dressed in a brown leather jacket, kevlar armour underneath, cargo pants, combat boots and a red helmet. 'Interesting fashion choice' she thought.

"Who are you and why did you just shoot my intel?" Helena interrogated the man before her and he chuckled while jumping down in front of her.

"Can't have people snitching on me and the name is Red Hood."

Helena balled up her fists and got into her fighting position, "So your the one who has been a pain in my ass-" Red Hood cut her off.

"A very thick ass, might I add."

Helena smirked, "Flattery won't get you out of this one, biker fetish."

***

I was watching Batman: Under the Red Hood for the 102838392 time and wrote this at 3am

[fibula-rasa]

The Vamps — Part Two: Theda Bara and the Star Image

Theda Bara was born in the shadow of the Egyptian pyramids–the daughter of a French actress and an Italian sculptor. Her betrothed is a skeleton.

Theodosia Goodman was born to a middle-class family in Cincinnati, Ohio. She was the daughter of a Jewish haberdasher.

In the early years of the film industry, there were no stars. Film producers knew that allowing for name recognition would empower their performers to make demands–like greater pay. So, the performers in films were routinely uncredited. Around 1910, that began to change. When The Biograph Girl, as she was known, moved to a different studio, her name was finally made known to the public: Florence Lawrence.

An aside: If this seems wild to you, think about modern television commercials. Before he jumped to a different company, how many people repeated the phrase “Can you hear me now?” without knowing the actor (Paul Marcarelli) from the Verizon commercials? Nowadays, what with google and social media, this isn’t quite as common but, still, How many people know the names of those Sonic guys (who are clearly in purgatory btw) but know their gags well? (Their names are T.J. Jagodowski and Peter Grosz.)

Once Florence Lawrence became The First Movie Star, it didn’t take long at all for the trappings of the star image’s constructed reality to develop. Movie fan press began covering the “private lives” and habits of performers. Studio employees built biographies for film performers that better matched their on-screen personas than their actual background. The performers themselves were variably complicit in the smoke and mirrors act. That’s not to suggest that everyone accepted these tales as the gospel truth. Much of the gossip press and movie fans simply had fun with it. That’s right, smarks are as old as kayfabe.

Theda Bara’s burst onto the screen in 1914 was an immediate draw. As the concept of film stars was crystalizing the film star’s image was intentionally muddled with the characters that they interpreted for the screen. In Bara’s case, Fox studios started fleshing out Bara’s Vamp pedigree. The Vamp archetype itself had taken form over the past decade [see Part 1], but Bara would give life to the paradigm. That first biography above is what was reported to the fan press by Fox’s press agents. The skeleton boyfriend was suggested by the copy to accompany a promotional photo shoot where a scantily clad Bara drapes herself beside a prone skeleton. The ties to Spiritualism are clear. Death was by no means a finality to Bara’s romance.

Bara swiftly became one of the biggest stars of film in the teens–alongside Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford–The Vamp, The Tramp, and The Sweetheart. As movie fandom grew and the Los Angeles colony of filmmakers coalesced, concerns arose about the real, unconstructed lives of the performers. For Vamp types in particular, the question of their IRL morality was important to address in order to maintain their popularity. If anyone actually believed Bara was a sex-crazed goth, that could spell trouble for her career as the public began to care about film-star morality. In a May 1918 issue of Photoplay, Bara was asked about her morality to which she responded:

‘People write me letters,’ she said smilingly; ‘and they ask me if I am as wicked as I seem on the screen. I look at my little canary and I say “Dicky, am I so wicked?” And Dicky says, “Tweet, tweet.” That may mean “yes, yes,” or “no, no,” may it not?’

Coy and quirky answers aside, Bara continued to be a popular draw for Fox. In 1917, she took on the ultimate Vamp role, Cleopatra. The film is now believed lost, but at the time, it was her biggest hit. As her contract with Fox was running down, Bara began to campaign for non-Vamp roles. After that contract expired, that’s what she tried to pursue. It didn’t really work out and she eventually opted to retire from acting in 1926.

Bara made forty films in her roughly twelve-year-long film career. Unfortunately, only a handful of her films are still extant. So, how has Bara’s image persisted so strongly more than a century after her debut when there’s so little of her work for admires to engage with? Well, there’s a lot of potential answers to that question.

For one, the character of Theda Bara, the film star, was very well-limned and much of that promotional material has survived. The photographs and accompanying promotional copy paint a vivid picture that people still respond to today. I can tell to you that, as a teen, when I was encountering Bara’s photographs in a book I was immediately dedicated to seeing her films. The heartbreak that came with discovering how few of them exist and were readily available to watch in the late 1990s was real. It’s a story that’s still repeated today.

Bara’s acting style probably contributes to her persistent popularity as well. She was part of an acting tradition that involved the repetition of specific expressions and gestures to interpret a characters’ emotions. This style translates beautifully into still photographs. It’s not a stretch to suggest that it’s easier with Bara than many other lost film stars to extrapolate what their films and performances were like.

Also, Bara herself lived on, continuing to play with her image–even parodying herself in her final film appearance in 1926.

Additionally, by chance, one of Bara’s most popular surviving films is A Fool There Was (1914), the film that officially solidified the Vamp archetype. From the material we have, film fans and scholars can use Bara handily to build narratives about the emergence of the star system and fan interaction. So, Theda Bara, The Vamp, has lived on regardless of the dearth of surviving film. Feels pretty Spiritualist in itself, eh?

Learn How to Get the Look BELOW THE JUMP

The Costume

To build yourself a Theda Bara costume, this are the key elements I would focus on:

The Makeup

Bara did her own makeup and costuming for many of her films. It was common practice at the time. So, like later-Cleo Elizabeth Taylor, Bara’s makeup is pretty consistent across her films. Authenticity be damned though, because you are making a costume for fun in 2018, not to be photographed on orthographic film in 1918. I chose maroon-red for my eyeshadow because I thought it would be more striking and, in black and white, would photograph darker than a cooler shade.

The key shape is curvy, elongated eyeshadow in a single color, well blended into a dark liner shade. Bara has pretty round eyes, so you’ll likely want to line your waterline with a lighter shade–white if you wanna be really striking, a nude lighter than your skin tone if you wanna play it low key. Your eyebrows should be straight and drawn out as long as the eye makeup.

The lip shape is small, but not a pucker-pout. Focus on the sharpness of the cupid’s bow. I chose a color in harmony with the eyeshadow, but any deep red or pink would do.

Blush and contour? Skip it. First because you need to cherish the gothy pallor. Second because it would look incongruous with this makeup style. Film stars of the era didn’t typically wear rouge because, on film, it would come off as a deep shadow. The gaunt look wasn’t very fashionable.

The Hair

You have lots of freedom here. Bara had long, thick, and curly hair but as bobs became more fashionable, she often pinned it up into a messy faux-bob. The latter is what I went with. I brushed and pinned the hair on the crown of my head forward to make an era-appropriate pouf.

Head gear is a good choice. I actually pinned a necklace into my hair but if you have any art-nouveau or ancient-Egypt inspired pieces, you’re set. It might sound a little wild, but a dead flower crown would be so on brand.

The Clothes

Scanty. The most important skin to flaunt is around your neck and collar bones. For dress/skirt length, you should go close to floor-length if possible. The fabric should ideally be drapey and/or gauzy. Now, if it’s cold where you are around Halloween, an extra-large scarf would be a good call.

Read Part One

Part Three: Pola Negri & Exoticism coming Thursday!

[jimsturgessnews]

Actor Jim Sturgess, recently seen in BBC drama Hard Sun with Agyness Deyn, divides his time between Hollywood movies and songwriting. He talks to The Cork about constantly getting beaten up, the similarities between film and music, and swapping his skateboard T-shirts for a bespoke English Cut suit. As a fixture on the red carpet at Hollywood film premieres, Jim Sturgess has had to get used to being decked out by brands. “I remember the first time I got put in a suit,” the Wandsworth-born actor recalls. “I got on my bike the next day and delivered it back to them. They were like, ‘No, no, it’s yours, you can have it.’ I was like, ‘Are you joking?’” Even now, selecting from English Cut’s vast menu is a novel experience for someone accustomed to choosing from a rail of off-the-peg suits. “It’s like ordering a salad in America,” he says of the bespoke process, speaking like a man who spends extended periods of time in health-conscious Los Angeles for work. “You have a million options: do you want three buttons or two? I got quite into it. You start off thinking, ‘Oh, I don’t mind.’ Then you go, ‘Actually, let me see what pleated trousers look like … ’” After chewing it over, Sturgess settled on a rustic dark green. “I have a load of black and grey suits, so it was a chance to create something a bit different,” he explains. “It’s got a sort of tweed feel, a bit boxier than I’d typically go for … I’m sounding like a pro now, aren’t I?” His self-conscious laugh betrays that tailoring is not his, well, strong suit. “I live in Dickies trousers and a pair of white canvas shoes,” confesses the fresh-faced 39-year-old, who could comfortably pass for a twentysomething and still dresses, by his own admission, like a teenage skateboarder, even if he no longer actually skates in the park like he did when he was a teenager growing up in Surrey. “I sort of still think that I do, but I don’t,” he says. “Last year, I was messing around on my board, and I fell off and really hurt myself. Like, it hurt and hurt for a long time. You start to learn the hard way that your body’s not the same as it once was. Plus I have to go and throw myself around and get beaten up for work. You get injuries, and it makes life pretty difficult.” “You have a million options: do you want three buttons or two? I got quite into it. You start off thinking, ‘Oh, I don’t mind.’ Then you go, ‘Actually, let me see what pleated trousers look like’” Sturgess does seem to have a history of being on the receiving end of on-screen violence, from 2008 thriller Fifty Dead Men Walking, in which he played a British agent infiltrating the IRA, with Sir Ben Kingsley as his handler, to 2016 US TV series Feed the Beast, in which he played a Bronx chef with David Schwimmer as his fellow restaurateur. “I’ve got a punchable face,” Sturgess quips. “I suppose I’m attracted to stories that have an edge. Now I just assume that’s what acting is: getting beaten up.” Most recently, he was punched in the face by model-slash-actress Agyness Deyn – with a brass knuckle – for Hard Sun. (She learnt Israeli special forces fighting system Krav Maga for the role.) Written by Neil Cross, the scribe behind Idris Elba series Luther, the pre-apocalyptic BBC series stars Sturgess and Deyn as police detectives who inadvertently uncover a government-level conspiracy to conceal the inconvenient truth that the sun is going to destroy the Earth in five years. As knowledge of impending doom becomes more widespread, the fabric of society begins to unravel. At the time of writing, Sturgess has been selling Hard Sun to audiences in America. “They get bombarded with a lot of regal stuff, and they have a particular idea of what England looks like and sounds like,” he says. “It’s nice to show another side of London – a bit more contemporary.” Less like, say, 2008’s Tudor period drama The Other Boleyn Girl, where he played the brother of Natalie Portman’s Anne and Scarlett Johansson’s Mary, with Eric Bana as Henry VIII. Besides, Hard Sun is “very international”, even if it’s set in the UK: “If you live on this planet, you’re definitely involved.” Hard Sun also involved Sturgess wearing a suit every day, something he’d usually only do on special occasions. “It killed the joy,” he says. “I remember going to the Baftas, so I got out of one suit that I’d been wearing for months and put on another. Normally I’m pretty scruffy, so to put on a suit is quite a big change. It’s nice to put something on occasionally and feel a bit … You just feel different in a suit, don’t you?” Sturgess feels different whenever he gets into costume for a role. “It’s when the character comes alive, when you put on his clothes and the shoes that he wears,” he says. “It’s your identity. When you put on a different pair of shoes, you feel like a different version of yourself. So it’s really not until you put the costume on, clothes that you’ve specifically chosen to represent the character, that you understand, ‘OK, this is who he is.’” It’s surprising to hear that it all comes together at that late a stage, albeit after much planning and research. “Yeah, for sure,” insists Sturgess. “It’s always a very exciting moment, actually, when you go, ‘All right, there he is. That’s the way he’s going to look.’” One of Sturgess’s most sartorially memorable roles was the one furthest removed from any semblance of fashion: 2010’s The Way Back, inspired by the memoir of a Polish officer who claimed to have escaped from a Siberian gulag during WWII and trekked 4,000 miles across the Himalayas to British India. (A 2006 Radio 4 documentary questioned the veracity of the account, although there is evidence that someone did do the walk – just not the author.) “One of the great things that the survival expert told us was that you would never throw anything away,” remembers Sturgess. “So you wouldn’t get rid of your jacket, even in the desert – you’d cut it up and wear it as a headband.” Sturgess went straight from that to 2011’s One Day, the adaptation of the then-unavoidable David Nicholls novel with the instantly recognisable orange cover. Over the course of two decades of on-off romance with Anne Hathaway’s Emma, his character Dexter graduates from student to successful 90s TV personality. “Suddenly I’m in a tight pair of leather trousers and a giant jacket,” Sturgess laughs. “You couldn’t feel more different. And the clothes definitely navigate those feelings.” Those feelings were more combative in the case of London Fields, the adaptation of the Martin Amis novel also starring Billy Bob Thornton, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, which has been trapped in legal limbo since 2015 after the director sued the producers for allegedly releasing their own cut (panned by the few critics who saw it). Sturgess played petty criminal and pub darts virtuoso Keith Talent, covered in tattoos and a grimy beard that made him feel “a bit tastier than I probably was”. This nearly proved disastrous when someone almost ran him over in a car: “I got really aggressive with him, and quickly realised that he was double my size.” Still, at least he’s used to being beaten up. Sturgess’ own sartorial identity was influenced by American skateboarding culture. “Certainly, when I was in my teenage years, I was very skateboard-heavy in my fashion,” he says. “And now most people look like skateboarders. It blows my mind that the standard footwear is a pair of Vans. Because when I was younger only someone who was into skateboarding would wear Vans.” He’s similarly bemused that lowly streetwear brands have ascended to the height of fashion, and that kids now queue round the block and overnight for the latest product drop at the Supreme store he used to wander into when it was just a skate shop. At the same time though, he totally gets it. “I remember my mum trying to put me into a pair of shoes that weren’t Converse All Stars,” he says. “They looked exactly the same, and they’d probably be way cooler now, but I was mortified. I was like, ‘No, they have to be Converse.’ My mum was like, ‘But they’re too expensive. These one look exactly the same – they’ve even got a star.’ And I was in tears: ‘Mum, you don’t understand. I can’t wear these to school: I’ll get crucified.’” The other major key to Sturgess’s wardrobe choices was music. He started a band when he was 15, singing and playing bongos in pubs despite being under-age. When school and the band finished, he went to the University of Salford to study media and performance, and be closer to the Manchester music scene. “There were a lot of jackets done up to the top and desert boots,” he says. “I miss that different kinds of music were so influential in the way people dressed. It was almost like a gang mentality: you’d have mods, you’d have rockers, you’d have two-tone … And now everyone looks roughly the same. But maybe that’s because I’m just hanging out with 40-year-old men. I don’t know.” Sturgess was as obsessed with films growing up as he was records. “Even at school, drama and music were the two things I was interested in,” he says. His uni course taught him scriptwriting, editing and theatre production as well as acting; he wrote and performed a one-man show called Buzzin’ that brought him to the attention of an agent, who encouraged him to move to London. Instead of kickstarting his acting career, he got into the Camden music scene and started a band called Saint Faith, taking bit parts in TV and ads to pay the rent. When they broke up, Sturgess was cast in 2007’s Across the Universe, a film musical based on Beatles songs and a perfect fit for his skill set. The common thread between music and acting is creativity and, perhaps not obviously in the latter’s case, self-expression. “It’s interesting because they’re very similar and totally opposite at the same time,” says Sturgess. “When you’re writing and playing music, it’s completely you, naked and bare; when you’re acting, you’re pretending to be somebody else. But you use your own emotions and life experiences to try and relate to the character. At the same time, people behind a microphone are playing some sort of a character. They might tell you that they’re not, but there is a level of performance that isn’t you while you’re just sitting with your mum and dad having a roast dinner.” Sturgess describes his diversion into acting as “circumstantial”; even now that he’s a star, music remains a big part of his life. “I’ve got a little studio at home, and then a lot of my friends are musicians,” he says. Over the years and the various bands, he’s amassed a vast quantity of unreleased material; he’s just now really putting his mind to doing something that might actually get out there. “I just want to finish a cohesive record that kind of has a beginning, a middle and an end,” he says. “Not just a load of scratchy demos that are all just lying around that could potentially grow into something great.” Songwriting inspiration can strike Sturgess in different ways. “Sometimes it’s just a thought,” he says. “Sometimes you’ll be messing around on the guitar and a little melody comes into your head, but you have no idea what the song’s about. Sometimes it’s lyrics: you build a song around the words first. Sometimes you can hear a drum loop, someone starts messing around with some melodies and then you just start singing on top.” Either way, it tends to be followed by a great deal more perspiration: “the grinding bit”. Sometimes Sturgess will know from the first page of a script how he’ll play a character – and sometimes not. “I’ve been offered things and I’m like, ‘I don’t know why you’re asking me to do this,’” he admits. “And that’s always quite exciting because it’s out of your comfort zone. You have to build a character, and change the way you speak and move.” For that, he accesses a database being constantly compiled. “Sometimes you’ve got a character in your head that you’d love to find a story for, and then you read something and go, ‘I could put that into this,’” he says. “Or you’ve noticed somebody on the Tube: ‘That’s interesting, the way he is.’ Then you read something and go, ‘I could use a bit of that.’” Getting noticed on the Tube is not something that Sturgess has to worry about – not even on buses with a picture of his face on the side. “Nobody’s that interested, really, so it’s very grounding,” he says. “In LA, people are very excited about movies, it’s an city built around the movie industry, and actors are kind of the commodity of that industry. So you feel a bit of treatment that you definitely don’t get when you come home.” London brings him back down to earth with a bump: “I’m very quickly getting knocked over on the Underground.” He tells an anecdote about a foreign tourist at King’s Cross who kept saying to him, “You’re a star, you’re a star.” Turned out she was looking for the Eurostar. That probably has more to do with Sturgess’s down-to-earthness than any lack of profile. Certainly, though, his flight path has brought him into the orbit of some massive stars. Like Tom Hanks, his co-star on 2012’s Cloud Atlas, who Sturgess describes as “the nicest guy you could possibly imagine” (exactly how you’d imagine him, then). “He took it on himself to organise a movie night every Sunday at his apartment in Berlin,” Sturgess says. “He’d order loads of food and put out the word to the cast and crew. And we’d all pile round there, hungover from Saturday night, to sit on his couch and watch movies.” Hanks would also talk with Sturgess about music: “He knew quite a lot about hip-hop.” Ed Harris, his co-star on The Way Back, is another. “He was one of the first actors that I worked with who I was so in awe of, and who became a friend, which was amazing,” says Sturgess. “He really took me under his wing, we bonded and we’ve stayed in touch ever since.” A surreal scene ensued in a hotel in New Orleans where the pair were working together for a second time, on 2017’s Geostorm. “We bumped into Billy Bob Thornton, who I’d just done a film with in London, in the foyer of the hotel,” says Sturgess. “We were in an elevator – a lift – and I introduced Ed Harris to Billy Bob Thornton. And I was just standing in the middle of two of the coolest dudes I know.” Sturgess doesn’t know what the future holds, beyond the release of two films that he shot after Hard Sun. The first, JT Leroy, is the strange but true story of a woman, played by Laura Dern, who writes a fictional memoir in the persona of a 15-year-old boy. When it becomes a literary sensation, she convinces the younger sister of her boyfriend, played by Kristen Stewart and Sturgess respectively, to masquerade as the non-existent male author – for six years. The second, Berlin, I Love You, is an anthology of 10 romantic stories set in the German capital and the latest in the series that began with 2006’s Paris Je T’’Aime; Dame Helen Mirren and Keira Knightley grace the ensemble cast. “It always surprises you,” Sturgess says of his fluid profession. “Which I quite like. What’s going to happen next? What sort of story am I going to be involved in telling?” Back in his normal “scruffy” clothes, he blends into the Chiltern Street foot traffic like a chameleon, just another anonymous extra in the movies of everyone else’s lives.  (credit)

[wellthatjusthappend]

hey! sorry i know you said that you weren't writing anymore for the a/b/o pregnant!Jason thing but i really love that story the jaydick is just too cute! any chance we could see a little more of those 2 love-birds?

You know what? Sure, why not?

Dick wasn’t exactly sure how Jason managed to want to have this baby so badly yet also be so thoroughly unhappy about having a baby. As usual though, Jason managed to inhabit this paradox effortlessly. 

Dick had been so excited- was so unbelievably excited- but he’d forgotten that things that involved Jason’s body were hardly ever cut and dry. Jason was restless and uncomfortable and didn’t want to be touched… except for all the times he couldn’t settle unless he had Dick wrapped around him. It was really really hard to tell which Jason was feeling at a given time, sometimes Dick didn’t think Jason knew until they were touching. Jason was determined, but also extra anxious and defensive about his choices. 

At least he’d given up smoking without a fight… that was probably not helping with his mood either.  

Somebody- and Dick had his suspicions about Damian, especially given the fit he threw over not being allowed to come visit- had let slip to the Titans that there was a baby on the way and now it seemed like the whole superhero community knew. Dick’s phone had been going off almost nonstop with texts and calls from their friends buzzing excitedly (or sometime’s worriedly, like, were they crazy?) with questions and congratulations. 

Well, mostly Dick’s friends. 

And many of them hadn’t gotten the memo and tried to visit. Dick was pretty sure the only reason Jason hadn’t shot Wally when he’d come zooming in was that Dick was in the way. That had been fun. 

The pack had been nosy too, but they were sneakier about it: a suddenly freshly stocked fridge, a sheet of potential healthcare providers, a bag with tea that was supposed to help with nausea (Dick was eternally grateful Jason wasn’t particularly prone to morning sickness), some gadgets to increase security, and a beautifully beaded bracelet (Cassandra? Dick wasn’t sure) that was supposed to deflect negative energy and decrease anxiety. Jason had huffed uncomfortably at the other appearances but he’d seemed genuinely pleased about the bracelet- possibly also helped by the fact that this gift was left on their window as opposed to inside their apartment like the others- and hadn’t taken it off since. 

“Little Wing?” Dick called tapping on the bathroom door.

“You’re good,” came Jason’s muffled reply and Dick pushed his way inside. He was surprised to find Jason brooding in the bathtub. It didn’t even have water in it. Dick thought at first that Jason was sitting in it fully clothed, but he noticed that his pants and underwear were on a pile on the floor. 

“’Sup? This a new fashion statement or something? I can’t say that I would mind.” Dick joked perching on the sink. 

“Underwear was getting nasty. Was going to take a show and then I just didn’t feel like it.” Jason said shortly. 

“You sure it’s okay that you’re all wet all the time and stuff? Like, this isn’t a problem?” Dick checked worriedly.

“Perfectly normal, you’d know if you’d read up on this shit.” snapped Jason a little.

Dick frowned. 

“Jay?” he asked.

“Sorry, jus’…” Jason blew out a frustrated breath, “I don’t much like having so many things I can’t control with my own body.”

“I hear you.” Dick said slipping a little closer to sit on the lip of the tub, “Can I do anything to help?”

“You’re fine, Dickie.” sighed Jason.

“Sure?”

Jason stared at him a moment longer before tugging him down into the tub. Dick went easily and pulled himself close. 

“You know, this would be a lot more comfortable if there was water in here.” Dick said kissing his jaw. 

“We’re both fucking dressed.” Jason pointed out.

“Easily solved.”

“I prefer showers.”

“I know, but just think… bubble bath. Just all the bubbles.” Dick said pushing back to look at him seriously.

“What, are you 8?” snorted Jason a smile starting to creep out from under the tiredness. 

“What, are you 80? Bubble bath is great gift to man kind.” Dick retorted trying not to smile.

“Is that so?” Jason huffed out a small laugh and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“It is so. I’m the older one, I know these things.” Dick said turning his head to kiss and taste the laughter on Jason’s mouth. Jason cupped the back of his head gently directed the kiss a bit more deeply in a move they were both familiar with. The contact was practiced and… hmm, warm. A memory that felt etched into Dick’s very bones after being with Jason all these years. The Omega’s body almost as familiar to him as his own. His fingers brushed against the bump on Jason’s stomach.

Well, some things were unfamiliar. 

Dick couldn’t deny that the thought sent a little thrill of excitement under his skin. Made him press closer. Made him start working on his own shirt because he wanted their skin to be touching, their scents to be mixing. Omega and Beta fitting perfectly together against the odds. Jason touching him, claiming him, making him feel wonderful and desirable and utterly taken care of.

Dick laughed against Jason’s mouth. 

“Wha’s so funny?” Jason turned to kiss his cheek. The faint scrape of stubble against Dick’s skin making him shiver and crave absolutely everything.  

“Just thinking, this little one is going to be so lucky.” Dick commented using both his hands to cup Jason’s belly, to rub and caress reverently.

Jason made a soft sound and clutched tighter at Dick’s hair and shoulders.

“You’re so wonderful. You’re going to be such a great dad.” Dick pulled back look at him fondly, brushed their noses together in a light eskimo kiss, “I still can’t quite believe that I get to make a family with you.”

“Idiot,” mumbled Jason, cheeks red and embarrassed but eyes bright and burning, “Everyone knows you’re going to be the kids favorite, Golden Boy.”

“I’d give them everything.” Dick admitted readily, “Good thing I have you to make sure I don’t spoil them rotten, huh?”

“Mmm…” Jason hummed a bit giving Dick a look that always driven him a little crazy. A look that spoke of all the ways he was going to take Dick apart and build him back up, of the long slow fuck he was going to give him till Dick was crazy with it. 

“We taking this to the bedroom?” Dick asked hopefully.

“Actually…” Jason said letting go to cover the hands Dick still had on him, “I believe you mentioned something about a bath?”

Aw, hell yes.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

I Bombarded Justin Bieber’s Stylist With Questions About His New Look

http://fashion-trendin.com/i-bombarded-justin-biebers-stylist-with-questions-about-his-new-look/

I Bombarded Justin Bieber’s Stylist With Questions About His New Look

This Instagram of Justin Bieber really sent me into a tizzy.

Here’s Justin Bieber, suddenly, quietly, casually leaning against the wall of my Instagram feed, in an outfit that I’d love to wear (tap for credits and you’ll find that his top is Amiri; pants, Dickies; hat not tagged but easy enough to find similar options) with what I’ll go ahead and say is a cup of Arizona Ice Tea, no ice — I assume it melted, and a crunched aluminum can that used to hold said beverage. If it were me I might add a simple strappy kind of 90s heeled sandal.

I’m very into it. Plus the hair, and the mustache. I like the whole style package. The overall look is a contentious topic — some people call it “scumbro“; I’m inclined to use the word “hot”; The Cut likened his wardrobe as of late to all sorts of guys they knew, which, given the list, can be mean different things to everybody, a real “choose your own adventure” of lovers-past, nostalgic associations and questionable decisions. If I were to add my own, it would be those who long ago left my heart in some way aflutter.

7 PHOTOS click for more

What I really like about the whole picture, though — meaning this specific look, and Justin Bieber’s overall outfits as of late — is that it’s clear Justin Bieber has, if only temporarily (because style is ever-evolving), found his fashion niche. He appears happy and confident and comfortable in these clothes. He’s in love, in these clothes. In these clothes, he looks like he has that spring in his step that says, “I found these perfect pants on a total whim, wasn’t even looking for anything specific in the store, but they were on sale so I said why not and now they’ve changed my ENTIRE METHOD OF GETTING DRESSED.” I get that. One right shoe can turn you into the person you suspected you’ve always been and wha-bam: out goes all your old ankle booties from 2010, never to be called upon again.

I have no doubt that Justin is on a journey. We all are, at the core of it, aren’t we? But behind this great style transformation is, of course, a talented stylist: the great Karla Welch, a true delight to follow on Instagram, self-described freedom fighter, founder of xkarla (you know I love those T-shirts), co-founder of Meritocracy, former Monocycle guest, and, among the knock-ya-on-your-butt resumé of cool people she’s dressed, there’s her fashion friendship with Justin.

For all that is high-watered and well-socked in this world: I had about a five-minutes window to talk to her about it.

Now, MR’s edit team had all sorts of questions for her about Bieber’s recent outfits (“Does he text you looks and say ‘this.’?” — Haley Nahman, Deputy Editor), and please, feel free to ask your own questions down in the comments; hopefully anyone who needs a work break can join you down there and cogitate about it. But in the meantime, below are the questions we did ask, and Karla answered:

Did you two sit down and intentionally decide to change his look or this happen gradually/organically? 

It’s so organic. From the beginning, we just both sort of got each other. I would [basically] operate blind and show up with stuff. He always liked it. I’d sometimes get a text from tour saying, “I need a new white look,” and I would literally make a custom look in two days and ship it somewhere in the world. Of all my clients, I owe my nerves of steel and calmness to Justin. Actually more: He’s so fearless that it makes me fearless, too!

When you’re styling someone for their day-to-day lives (as opposed to just red carpet events/concerts), how do you style them? Is it a daily, continual text conversation where you help instruct what shoe to wear with pants? Is it that you arm the person with wardrobe items that you know will work together and let them have at it? How does all of this work?

I’m really not a day-to-day stylist. I just send him stuff I love and know he will love and then he mixes it all as he sees fit. Sometimes I’ll send an image and say, “I think this is the vibe we should go to…”

And is Justin Bieber discerning when it comes to these choices, or does he prefer to let you make the selects?

Depends. He’s pretty discerning. But he know knows how much I LOVE when he says, “What are you thinking?” Like he seriously knows it makes my life to get my way!

What came first: the mustache and hair, then his new style, or the new style, then mustache and hair to pair with? (And whose decision was the hair, and the mustache?)

Who came first, Justin or Justin? There is no one more ahead of the curve than him! Fearless. I love it!

Are you familiar with the word “scumbro” that’s being used to describe this look, and what are your thoughts on the term?

Ha. Well, I guess it keeps wordsmiths in business.

If you were to make a pie chart of Justin’s current fashion influences how much of it would be Magnum PI? What about Jeff Goldblum? (We are very curious about the Hawaiian shirts!)

We could all use a little more aloha in our lives, people!

Feature photo by SMXRF/Star Max/GC Images via Getty Images.

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Buying in Bulk - Choosing Medical Scrubs For Your Staff

You have been given the task of choosing the new uniform supplier for your entire company. Where do you even begin? There are about a million medical scrubs companies from which to choose. Whether your staff is made up of just a few or a few hundred, deciding upon what they will be wearing to work is not an easy task, nor is it something that should be taken lightly. First, let's take into consideration the type of medical practice. For example, if you are working in a pediatric office or hospital, you might want to find a company that will supply bright, happy colors or offer prints with popular characters. If you are working in elderly care, that same company is probably not a good choice unless they offer more subtle prints. Once you have decided which type of apparel is best suited for your practice, you can narrow down your suppliers through the Internet. The Internet is a wonderful tool for purchasing scrubs online and for researching what each company has to offer. You can access company information, reviews, prices, quality guarantees, group discounts, shipping estimates, and much more. To begin, choose five companies from your search. Be sure to visit each supplier's website and browse through their selection. For example purposes only, let's pretend that you work for an OB/GYN practice and are in charge of purchasing every nurses uniform as well as the doctors, assistance, and front desk. After evaluating your options and taking the size and style of the staff members into consideration, you have decided that a solid color will be best. However, so as not to make the office look too drab, you have decided on two colors: one for the doctors and the other color for the rest of the staff. Being in an OB office, a solid pink and a solid blue would be appropriate. Now that you have decided upon the type of scrubs you need, now you can look at the staff. Like every office, there is a combination of people. You have a male doctor, a few female doctors - one who is older and thin, one who is young and very tall, and one who is very 'Plain Jane' and shows no interest in fashion. Then, there are the nurses which are likely good combination of skin tones and colors, hair colors, body types, and style preferences. First, you will obviously need to make sure that the company you consider offers both men's and women's medical wear. Second, let's make his explanation that the uniforms they do offer are not too limited. For example, not all of us want an elastic waist that's actually at our waist. But then, not all of us want our scrubs to sit at our hips, either. A good variety is best. However, with variety, you will need to make sure that the same fabric color and thread across the board. You would not want the women who are wearing, for example, Urbane tops to be mis-matched if they chose Dickies bottoms. After you have verified that your colors will match among styles, you should contact the company to see if they are willing to offer a bulk discount for your office. If they are not willing, then you may not want to be willing to purchase from them. While you are communicating with the uniform supplier, you should as questions such as prices on shipping, if they will offer free shipping for a bulk order, if they have any items on backorder, if the scrubs that you want to order will be offered for a long period of time or if they are a limited offer. If you need to order more uniforms in the future for new employees, how easy will this be? You should also weigh the benefit of working with a small company versus the benefit of ordering from a larger manufacturer. Small companies will probably work harder to make you happy, but larger companies may have more of a supply, which makes future orders a little easier. Once you establish an account, you should be able to order any item at any time with your initial discount. Also, if your practice needs embroidery or their logo monogrammed on the scrub tops, you can ask if the company who will be supplying your office's uniforms if they provide the service or if they can recommend someone. If not, it should not be too difficult to find a local facility to add the company logo and/or the employee's names. For larger companies who are ordering for hundreds or thousands of employees across many cities and/or states, there are a few more thoughts to consider, such as individual shipping, the ability for the employees to order directly from the web and still receive a discount, special orders for those who are oddly proportioned (some people really are 7 ft tall - be sure that this company can accommodate that), etc. Hopefully, these few tips will make ordering for your office a little less stressful and will help avoid future problems with ordering from the same supplier.

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Net mocks Kellyanne Conway's today's remarks

US President Donal Trump’s pinnacle White Residence adviser Kellyanne Conway has performed it once more.

                                      Kellyanne Conway’s

Websites

The female who gave us “opportunity information” has been roasted all over again for some other as a substitute a laugh gaffe on US tv.

Conway has furnished masses of fodder for the Internet’s meme gadget. These days, a photo of her perched bizarrely on the sofa inside the Oval Workplace all through an assembly became a viral sensation.

 Modern spherical of interviews has again provided the goods

While she was asked during an interview with the Bergen Report approximately Donald Trump’s allegation that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, she launched right into a diatribe about the numerous ways the intelligence network can secret agent on humans, and wasn’t afraid to add a little creativeness.

“You may surveil someone through their telephones, simply through their television units – any range of different ways – microwaves that grow to be cameras etcetera,” she said.

In a later interview with CNN, she attempted to make light of her surveillance feedback pronouncing; “I am now not Inspector Device. I do not believe people are the usage of their microwave to spy at the Trump Marketing campaign. However, I’m now not in the activity of having evidence. That’s what investigations are for.”

Get an activity: 5 Suggestions for Doing a mock activity Interview With a pal

If you are actively looking for a job on the line, there’ll quickly come a time whilst you get that each one critical name to have a job interview scheduled. You understand that call can be coming soon and hopefully it is going to be called as opposed to just a call. Regardless, it is now time to start getting ready for upcoming job interviews. A terrific manner to put together for an activity interview is to do a mock interview with a near pal or family member. Before you get started, right here are five beneficial Tips to hold in mind.

Mock task Interview Tip #1: Pick out That Person Wisely

The decision to put in force an exercise interview at home is a great step; it suggests power, willpower, and the truth that you are interested in seeing achievement. With that said, the motive is defeated If you Choose a friend or own family individuals whose sole aim is to no longer hurt your feelings. Interviews are your one and final danger to land an activity. For that reason, you want honest remarks although it’s far brutally honest. Make sure you Pick a person to practice with who’s comfy telling you the fact, although it may bruise your ego for a few hours.

Mock process Interview Tip #2: Get a Sample Listing of Interview Questions

Opening Remarks

With a fashionable Net search online, You can discover a List of the most commonplace questions asked all through process interviews. Do a quick seek and print off some of those questions. You could quick assessment them in advance of time yourself. But, you want to provide this List to the Character asking the questions. Let’s say your neighbor has had the same process for 15 years, they will be surprised with common questions requested. equal holds authentic for a fifteen yr vintage who has never had a process Earlier than.

Mock task Interview Tip #three: Deal with It Like a Real Interview

Whether or not you are doing an exercise interview along with your high-quality pal or your little sister, it is straightforward to get off track. As a whole lot as you both can also want to giggle about a silly solution you provided, stay heading in the right direction. The potential to as it should be and quickly solution process interview questions improves higher with exercise. So make exact use out of this practice and the time you are devoting to it.

Mock task Interview Tip #four: Attempt, Try, Strive again

Even In case you sense such as you had the pleasant mock interview proper off the bat, it’s far important to take into account that you’re probably working towards with a person whom you sense relaxed and comfy with. This is why it is a superb idea to preserve training. Have at least three or 4 unique sessions in in the future. This works pleasant if the job interview questions are changed up a chunk to preserve you thinking for your feet.

Mock process Interview Tip #five: Take Tips Into Attention

In case you observed step primary above and decided on A terrific pal or family member that will help you put together in your upcoming interviews, you’re at the proper song. hopefully, that person is able to be sincere with you and offer honest remarks. The 2nd set of ears in constantly appropriate on this example. Ought to you friend or member of the family provide you with some Recommendations to enhance your interviewing technique, take into account enforcing them.

Get Mock Wrap Scrubs and load Scrubs For a low Fee

Do you understand how you hate to overpay for something? I suggest, how often have you ever long gone to the shop, and bought something, after which in a while discovered out it became so much cheaper? That also takes place inside the case of mock wrap scrubs, and load scrubs. Those scrub units aren’t excluded from overpricing. There are masses of places that are overcharging for mock wrap scrubs and load scrubs. right here are a few Recommendations to avoid this catch 22 situations

never be an impulsive buyer in terms of something. It can be hard in particular Whilst temptation is looking. You want to be ahead of the %, and additionally be the first on the scene with the object. However, from time to time, it’s miles higher to attend. You recognize the feeling you get while you say “I should have waited and saved plenty of money” That is the exact feeling you do not While purchasing your mock wrap scrubs and load scrubs. These scrubs are the pinnacle Whilst it comes style and feature. How can you now not resist them, When they’re provided?

don’t ever purchase the primary thing you spot. in the case of cargo scrubs, and ridicule wrap scrubs, store round. The Internet has revolutionized the manner many people do business. It can cause on the spot selections based on Rate, selection, and availability. Many humans deal with the known companies that have been around for an extended while. In addition, they buy the brands which they are used to which includes Dickies, Landau, or Cherokee. However, smaller producers and groups do deserve some publicity. Simply due to the fact they don’t have the advertising greenbacks or the big media exposure, it would not lead them to less precious. These are positive matters that one Ought to always take a look at When buying shipment scrubs or mock wrap scrubs.

To shop for the best uniforms takes a piece of patience, making plans, and execution. Using round metropolis is a great begin, But you need to examine expenses, selection and high-quality. Many human beings believe that the most inexpensive Fee is constantly the great aspect. In some cases, sure it is. Depends on what you are searching out although. In many instances, human beings search for choice and great as well. These are only a few concerns While deciding to buy the appropriate cargo scrubs or the great mock wrap scrubs.

Clinical scrubs are the maximum special products of ScrubGuru. You feel comfortable when you purchase mock wrap scrubs [.