#did I mention spoilers? because there are spoilers

[qlossytbh]

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 in which you and spencer almost say i love you four times and one time where you actually do.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 16+ minors dni!, fem!reader, established relationship, spencer is down bad, so is reader tho, idiots in love, they’re both lowkey rlly hormonal bro, pet names (love, handsome), this one’s a rollercoaster, fluff, angst, lots of suggestiveness because reader likes to tease lol, allusions to smut (didn’t actually write it tho sorry!) fighting, spencer kinda acts like a bitch, makeoutshesh, mentions of reader being insecure of her physical appearance, mentions of typical cm content, mentions of blood, mentions of reader getting hurt, protective!spencer, derek and reader have a cute friendship, lots of mentions of maeve so spoilers on that end, pls let me know if i forgot anything!!!,

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 8.1k (damn)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 so i had many cute loose concepts and i kinda meshed it all into one fic. this is also loosely based on birds of a feather by billie eilish! im in love with this piece ugh

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

The first time

“You look different,” Derek mumbled, mostly to himself, but loud enough to catch on. You turned towards his voice. The only thing different was that Hotch had let you come in later than your usual schedule since you had a random doctor's appointment— Oh, and the recently purchased light-blue button up you were wearing.

Your brows furrowed at Derek, one hand adjusting the strap of the purse that hung loosely on your shoulder as a light brown bag sat comfortably in the other. “Different..?”

Emily followed Derek, joining in as she glanced over at you from her own respective desk. “Actually he’s right,”

“I’m wearing a new shirt..?” You fiddled with the first button of your shirt, pursing your lips in bewilderment.

“No—“ Emily squinted at you. “It’s something else..”

Your mouth hung slightly open, not really sure how to respond to their prying eyes. They both were glancing at you, then at each other, then you again, but this time up and down—

“I hope it’s a good difference,” You commented as you waltzed past them and towards your boyfriend's desk. Spencer was hunched over at his desk, eyes practically burning holes into the files that sat in front of him.

His lips were pursed familiarly, just like he always did when he was so concentrated, along with the familiar furrow in his brow. His hair was tousled, a strand or two falling flat in front of his forehead. He looked so good it made you dizzy.

An instinctive smile had already reached your face once you made it to his desk. You leaned over him, slapping the brown bag on top of the files he was reading. He flinched slightly, but nevertheless, was finally pulled out of his deep concentration pool. You placed your palms on his shoulders, running them down his chest as you leaned over to hug him from behind.

You placed a kiss underneath his ear. “Hi handsome,”

He sank in his desk, realizing it was only just you and immediately easing. He hummed placidly, entranced by the sound of your sickeningly sweet voice. You pulled away to which he took the opportunity to glance over his shoulder at you.

You gave him a soft smile, one you used that made his heart soar. How your eyes grew lenient and lips curved gently upwards as you scanned as much of his features as your brain could possibly take in.

You placed both hands on his shoulder and nudged your chin towards the bag. “Brought you your favorite,”

His hands were already on the bag before you could say anything else and when he looked inside he was in fact correct on his suspicions when he saw two chocolate sprinkled doughnuts.

They smelled heavenly and he knew they were enough to cure his very major and very much present sweet tooth he had woken up with this morning. A large uncontrollable smile slapped right onto his face as he opened his mouth. “I—“

He stopped, clamping his mouth shut abruptly.

Thank god. He swallowed those three words that had nearly left his mouth, pushing them right back into the back of his throat before the damage could be done.

It wouldn’t necessarily be the first time this week where he let the confession accidentally slip. He realized that as of recently, he would catch himself with more and more of a necessity to tell you how he felt.

The two of you started seeing each other romantically about six months back. It was completely out of nowhere when he asked you out for the first time. The second— and third, and fourth and continuing times after were more than expected.

It didn’t take much for the two of you to realize how much of an importance the other partook in your day to day basis, even despite being friends for so long prior to the dating.

And everyday he saw you he felt this big tightening in his chest that made it actually impossible for him to breathe. He felt all this pent up emotion that was getting harder for him to manage with every passing day.

It scared him, how much he cared about you. How much he wanted you to be a part of his everyday life and how much he wanted to tell you how it made him feel— how you made him feel.

But that fear was exactly the reason why he’d clamp his mouth shut every single time he felt like he wanted to tell you.

“I—uhm,” He cleared his throat. “Thank you, really I—“

You watched him, titling your head to the side with a prying gaze. “Have I ever told you how amazingly perfect you are?”

You purse your lips, leaning over his shoulder and pretending to be deep in thought. “I’m not sure— I think you’re gonna need to jog up my memory.”

He shook his head, huffing a laugh as you leaned down and pressing a long kiss onto his lips. You hummed in contentment, feeling the fuzziness in your chest reach every nerve in your body.

“Hey,” You pulled away, glaring over at Derek from Spencer’s desk. “Calm your hormones or I’m telling Hotch to hit HR up,”

“Actually hormones aren’t something you can consciously control, they’re a biological response to situations we find—“ Spencer quipped, earning a loud groan from Morgan.

You rolled your eyes, looking down at Spencer and reaching a hand up, running it ploddingly through his thick brown curls. “Are you coming over tonight?”

He nodded. “Yeah,”

“Looking forward to it,” You pecked his lips once more. Before rounding his desk and making a b-line for your own.

Spencer scanned you up and down as you waltzed away, not realizing you were wearing the shirt you bought last weekend. The one that enhanced the beauty of your hair and skin color, mapping a perfect picture he wanted to get lost looking at. He also couldn’t fail to avoid the way the shirt deliciously hugged every curve and bump your body had to offer. And those dress pants—

He squeezed his eyes shut, groaning internally. He then thumped his forehead onto his desk, cheeks blazing with heat, knowing he was more screwed than anyone in this whole building, a lost cause if you will.

As you strutted past Derek and Emily’s desk towards your own, Emily gasped loudly. “I think I finally got it,”

“Yeah, I completely agree with you,” Derek followed. You looked at them both quizzically.

“Could it be?— No,” Emily gasped once again and you immediately noticed that it was fake, alarming you of whatever game they were getting at.

“Yeah, I think it’s finally happened.” Derek leaned back in his chair, clicking his tongue and smirking over at you. “Pretty girl here is in love,”

Your cheeks turned hot, as your eyebrows shot up defensively. “What?”

Derek liked to say the two of you were still in your ‘honeymoon phase’ and you couldn’t disagree with him— it was the most accurate description of your relationship with Spencer.

But saying in love triggered something— physically and emotionally.

“No wonder she looks so different,” Emily tutted. “She’s got that ‘happy in love’ glow to her.”

“Shut up,” You have the strap of your purse on a death grip as you opened your mouth to protest but failed miserably as all the words died in the back of your throat. Thank god Spencer seemed preoccupied with the donut you had just given him.

“I’m—“ You shuffled, slapping yourself internally. Way to give it away. “You guys need to find a better hobby.”

And with blazing cheeks, a dry throat and a concerning pattering heart blaring against your throat, you stalked your way back to your desk.

The second time

“But that isn’t fair Spencer!” You groaned, gripping your bag as if your life depended on it. “You can’t expect to save everyone and then blame yourself when it doesn’t go well,”

There had been a sensitive case today, clearly an unsuccessful one. Spencer, like usual, jumped at the first opportunity to start blaming himself— for not being quicker, for not being smarter.. Whatever reason he could nitpick at, he was currently doing so.

You tore your purse off your body and tossed it into a small basket by your front door. You roughly tore your heels off, slightly relieved at the feeling off the palms of your feet on the wooden floor.

“There were flaws in the profile— flaws in the geographical profile,” He huffed, frustrated, filling every fiber of his words. He tore his satchel off his body, grabbing his files from it prior and slapping them onto your coffee table. “We couldn’t even correctly pinpoint the Unsubs M.O before he started sadistically killing again, we couldn’t—“

You felt for him, you truly did. Spencer was one of the most kind hearted, considerate people you knew, but that came with a lot of self-demands. He had to be everything at once, and be there for everyone at once and if he didn’t reach the bar he’d set up for himself, this would happen.

He pushed past you and towards your kitchen. “Spence, we aren’t going to solve every case, no matter how good our work may be.”

“You think I don’t know that? The average percent of homicides cleared or "solved" is 60 to 65 but around 35 to 40 percent go unsolved.” You opened your fridge, grabbing a pitcher of water and grabbing a glass from your cabinet as you listened to Spencer.

“35 to 40 percent, do you know how high that is?!” He stressed. You realized his irritation was heavy because he was reaching his peak of rambling.

Spencer just couldn’t stand when things like this happened. When people did horrible things and got the luxury of roaming free— he couldn’t help but feel like he was at fault for that. If he was just quicker, or smarter maybe they would’ve caught whatever bastard was terrorizing people.

“I know you know that!” You huffed a breath of frustration. “But that’s the way this job works Spence!”

“What would you know about how this job works?” He turned, hot on his heels, facing you with an indescribable exasperation pooling around his eyes.

You stopped in your tracks, looking up at him sharply and setting the still empty glass of water and pitcher back onto the table “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His eyes were deeply upset— cold and hard and so much different from the soft and welcoming gaze of your partner. “You wouldn’t know the first thing about being a profiler. You joined the team around three years after the rest of us.”

You stared at him with incredulity. When in a relationship with somebody, as well as learning all of their admirable virtues, you also learn their defects. And one of Spencer’s defects was that he had no filter whatsoever when he got angry. He just said the first thing that came to mind and spit it out and towards whichever person was unlucky enough to fall victim.

Not that the two of you fought often because you quite literally never did— but you’d see him pissed at people and his petty side sometimes felt the need to make an appearance.

You, however, had never had to experience this firsthand. You’d seen it happen at work, with JJ, with Derek, with the press. But two of you had never spoken to each other the way you were doing now. And if he thought you were gonna let him slide, he’s got another thing coming.

“What about Rossi?” You challenged as you crossed your arms across your chest. “I was accepted into the team just months after he was, you’re gonna tell him he wouldn’t know the first thing about being a profiler?”

“That’s different—“

“How?” Your veins were pumping with adrenaline. Your fingers shook violently, and the back of your throat suddenly burned with the need to cry. “I had jobs before getting called into the BAU, and I busted my ass off in college—“

“It’s not the same!” He spat. “You had never worked with the team before, it took you months to learn how we processed things, how we handled them.”

You could visually see Spencer bite down on his tongue only now attempting to reel himself down back to earth. And if you didn’t know him better, you wouldn’t be able to recognize the identifiable regret that appeared in his eyes while you continued on.

“And who are you to hold that against me Spencer?”

He swallowed thickly and let out a heavy sigh. You ran a frustrated hand through your curled hair. “All i’m saying is that—“

“I know what this job is like, which is why I’m telling you to get out of your goddamn head.” You didn’t scream at him, but there was a firmness in your voice that could scare practically anyone off.

“The things that have happened, happened today or will happen are never going to be in our control,” You told him. “Never.”

“Just because you’re angry and pissed does not give you a free card to attack me,” You slammed the glass cup onto the counter and pushed past him, making your way out of the kitchen. Spencer didn’t follow you to your room, he knew it wasn’t a smart idea.

So as your bedroom door slammed shut, he stalked over to your couch, opening up the paper files onto your coffee table, and rerunning them once again. He wasn’t able to concentrate at all though, knowing you were in the other room tossed in bed and probably crying because of him.

A few long hours later, Spencer closed his files and looked over towards your door. There had been no noise emitted whatsoever from your room, which he wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.

He felt like an idiot. Presumably so, he was so stupid for just lashing out like that on you. Your intentions were never ill intended, yet he still pushed you away and he hated himself for that.

He stood up, making his way into your kitchen and grabbing the empty glass. He poured some water into it and went over to your door.

You were lying down, blankets wrapped around you protectively as your back faced him. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling the endearment tighten in his chest.

You stirred in your sleep as the bed sunk beside you, groaning softly. Spencer hovered over you, setting down the glass of water on the nightstand beside your head.

“Hey,” His voice was very soft, maybe even enough to send you back into the nap you were in— until you remembered what had happened earlier and thought that maybe talking to him was a better idea.

Your eyes burned and your head hurt. You sniffed away the buildup that the crying had caused. You then blinked away the grogginess from your eyes, along with the slight burning sensation due to the tears you had shed earlier. “Hey,”

Your sleepy voice was enough to send Spencer into a whirlwind. It tugged at the strings of his heart and all he wanted to do right now was grab you in his arms and hold you there forever.

He laid on his side beside you, running a soft hand across your arm with the encouragement for you to turn around and face him.

A slight sense of anxiety was coursing through him. He was scared that a part of you was still mad at the way he spoke to you, and the worst part was that he couldn’t blame you, because he had in fact acted like an idiot.

You blinked up at him from over your shoulder. “What time is it?”

“Around nine?” You hummed, flipping on your side and turning to face him. Spencer slapped at the nerves inside him and shifted slightly in his position.

“Hey,” He reached his hand over to yours and intertwined his fingers with your own. “Were you crying?”

“Yeah,” His tone hadn’t been patronizing or ridicule intended, it was more so concerned. You reached up to rub your eye.“You were pretty fucking mean.”

Spencer wanted to kick himself. Truly. There wasn’t anything else to say but how utterly stupid he had been for causing you any type of harm when his main promise was to prevent you from any of it.

“You should drink some water,” He lifted himself up by his elbow, hovering over you again and reaching for the glass.

“I’m not thirsty,” You mumbled, snuggling closer into your pillow.

“You should still drink love, you haven’t had a single drop of water since we got here and you’re probably dehydrated,” You didn’t look at him. “I added those watermelon electrolytes you like so much.”

You peered at the glass, suddenly feeling deathly thirsty. With a huff, you reached for the glass. “Fine,”

You downed the whole drink in a matter of seconds, melting at the taste of the sweet watermelon tartness on your tongue. Once you finished the glass, you handed it back to Spencer who set it on the opposite nightstand.

“Can we talk?” You nodded. “I’m sorry,”

You looked up at him, opting him to continue. “I shouldn’t have snapped the way I did. You were trying to help me, and by attempting to push you away I said stuff I really, really shouldn’t have and I’m so sorry,”

With a few seconds of silence, you reached down, intertwining both of your hands. Your thumb glided over his knuckles as you listened to him.

You mumbled. “It’s okay Spence,”

He shook his head. “It’s not, honestly. I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did.”

Yeah, good point.

“I know,” You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “But you said that you're sorry and next time we’ll learn how to manage these things a little more efficiently.”

You quickly pulled his arm over your body and scooted forward, too tired to dwell in an emotionally exhausting conversation, nuzzling your face into his neck while his arms instinctively tightened around your frame. “We’ll get the hang of this, okay?”

There was silence after that. One that could’ve been filled by anything, honestly.

Those three words were all you wanted to say right then and there. It had been on your mind a lot recently, how Spencer was making you feel a ton of scary and big and complicated feelings— all amazing but terrifying. And those three words felt the most accurate when it came to telling him how you felt about him.

You really wanted to tell him at that moment. You don’t know where the necessity came from but it hit you like a tidal wave. Strong and capricious. Uncontrollable almost.

But then the fear settled in and you’d obstruct yourself from doing so.

So you didn’t say it, even though you may have wanted to.

Instead you just held him tighter and nuzzled into him as close as you physically could, hoping that somehow the message would get across. He placed a kiss onto the crown of your head. “Okay.”

The third time

You smiled into the kiss, tugging at his hair as you leaned back, supporting yourself solely on his grip around your lower back. Your legs rested on either side of him, sitting in his lap while his hands raked across your back in a way that made you feverish.

His lips moved swiftly across yours. He squeezed your hips, fingertips slipping just slightly underneath your shirt. You shivered at the contrast of his cold fingertips against your blazing skin. Spencer pulled away, voice breathy. “Is this okay..?”

“Yes,” You whispered back before pulling him onto your lips again.

Your relationship with Spencer was something that made your heart feel so light and airy— something so pure and easy. It made you grow dizzy just thinking about his hands on you and all the sweet things he’d whisper in your ear constantly. How he was always so considerate and sweet and perfect.

You were staying the night at Spencer’s apartment, too tired to drive back to your own apartment after work. But some things lead to others and well— yeah.

When having to restrain so much physical contact at work, strictly wanting to remain as professional as possible, you could merely blame yourself for needing him like this once back at eithers apartment.

You hummed against his lips, raking your hands slowly through his hair. The kissing hadn’t stopped for the past half hour or so— honestly you lost track of time.

Spencer pulled away breathlessly and placed a few messy but calculated kisses on your jaw and neck. You smiled almost stupidly. He pulled away, looking at your dozy face and feeling his chest tighten.

Your lips were slightly pinker than usual, and puffier. Your hair was just slightly tousled while your cheeks glowed a beautiful red hue. Your fingers remained tangled in the locks of his curls.

“You look pretty,” He was saying that as if it was another one of his scientifically proven facts, as if no one could say or believe otherwise. You tucked a small curl that had slipped onto the side of his face behind his ear, humming passingly. However, you never found his eyes, only focusing now on the curls that sat comfortably framing his face.

Spencer’s eyes narrowed, fiddling with the hem of your loose shirt. “You do that often,”

You look down at him, questioning him with a hum. “Do what?”

“Overlook the things I say when I compliment you,” He remarked. “Like you don’t believe me.”

You still didn’t move your attention from his curls. You didn’t believe him most of the time.

You weren’t an insecure person, not entirely anyways. You put a lot of focus on your physical appearance, always maintaining your clean look intact to the public eye. To many, you were considered extremely attractive. But unlike popular belief, you had many insecurities that you always tried to overlook. Sometimes it was hard though.

It was just hard for you to understand how he saw you so perfectly, like you had not a single flaw. ‘Beautiful’ and ‘breathtaking’, just like he always says when he sees you at work or back at your apartments. How he’s able to litter you with a million compliments

“I don’t overlook your compliments,” You let out an airy laugh, pulling back slightly to look at him properly, hands resting on his shoulders.

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t..!” You laughed, cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a long kiss. He drew away, only by a few centimeters, desperately trying to get his point across because god forbid Spencer keep his thoughts to himself.

“You’re deflecting,” He whispered over your lips before you laid another feather-like kiss into his lips. You hummed dismissively, assuring him that you weren’t avoiding anything.

But god, if you didn’t stop kissing him so softly and so painfully slowly, if you didn’t stop shifting around on his lap the way you were and if you didn’t stop your hands from wandering their way across his shoulders and chest— he was going to have a hard time remaining composed.

“You’re—“ A kiss.

“trying to—“ Another kiss.

“distract me,” It was as if you were a magnet he was so desperately trying to detach himself from, but failing miserably. Gravity itself pulled him towards you, he couldn’t help nor control it. He couldn’t blame himself either.

“Is it working?” You whispered, voice dangerously close to a taunt. Your hands began fiddling with the buttons of his dress shirt, popping the first two undone.

Spencer found himself growing dizzy as his hands dug into your hips. “Unfortunately,”

You kissed his jaw, and Spencer let out a stifled groan. With the willpower of the gods themselves, he reached up and grabbed your hands into his own, stopping their mission at undoing his shirts buttons. You pouted with a glare, pulling away from him as his thumb gilded affectionately across your knuckles.

“So wait,” You pulled back. “Is this your way of saying you don’t want to sleep with me.?”

Spencer choked. “What?— No!”

Spencer groaned as you stifled a giggle. Oh, how you loved teasing and getting him all flustered. “That’s not— No.”

You tilted your head. His hands rested on your hips, as he sighed looking up at you. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

You blushed. “You tell me often,”

“I know you’re beautiful,” He shook his head and sat up, trailing his hands across your back. “Do you?”

“People tell me often,” You smirked and when he glared at you all you could do was kiss it off him. “But I only like hearing it from you,”

“I asked you something,” He let out.

“Sort of,” You admitted meekly, finally responding to his question. His hands came back to the hem of your t-shirt, tugging at it as his lips found yours again.

“You’re probably the most beautiful person I know,” He whispered above your lips matter of factly.

“Probably..?”

“Definitely,” His hands gripped at the plush flesh of your hips in a way that was making you want to fall to the ground and melt into a puddle of goop. It was so gentle yet there was a specific urgency to it.

He pulled away, kissing your cheek immediately after. “You’re also so smart and kind,”

He kisses traveled across your cheek, to your temple, towards your jaw and that damn spot on your neck that he knew drove you crazy. All while whispering sweet nothings into your ear. Your witt was slowly melting away with any trace of self control you had left in you as you closed your eyes, arching yourself into his addictive touch. ”And funny,”

“Spence..” You warned.

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” He looked back at you, reaching up and cupping your cheek in his hand. “I—“

His words failed him as they whipped all the way back into his throat, daring not to leave his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to say it, there wasn’t anything else he wanted to say to you, because no matter how much he’d wash you in compliments, those three words were the closest thing to allowing you to understand just how much you truly meant to him— hell, it didn’t even feel like enough sometimes.

And that scared the shit out of him.

Which is why he quickly thought of the closest thing to those three words and spat them out, avoiding any growing suspicions. “I love the way you make me feel.”

You weren’t gonna lie, the first two words had gotten your hopes up in ways that were too pathetic to admit out loud. But his words had other intentions, so it seems, and you had to force yourself from slouching your shoulders foward in disappointment.

Beside, it’s not like the things he was saying weren’t causing a wonderful heat to pool in the pit of your stomach— and among other places.

You watched him, for a second or two, trying to maybe tell him with your eyes what you couldn’t tell him with your words. But it still wasn’t enough, and if you didn’t release the neediness that was starting to take shape within you, you'd quite literally explode.

You tangled your fingers within his hair and pulled his mouth onto yours in a steady but desperate kiss. He responded pretty well, given since his hands found your waist instantly and tugged them towards himself in a feverish manner.

He began pulling at the bottom of your shirt, signaling he needed it off of you and pulled away, whispering breathlessly. “Can I?—“

“Please.”

The fourth time

“Ouch,” You hissed as Morgan dabbed a piece of gauze onto the now stitched up cut on your head. “Are you trying to give me another concussion?”

Derek deadpanned at you, slightly relieved that you still found the energy to pick on him after being whacked in the back of the head with a pipe by the Unsub.

The team was searching for a local Serial Killer that targeted young women around the area, per usual. You and Morgan were put in charge of entering the Unsubs apartment since Garcia had been able to track it down while you and Morgan were on call.

It wasn’t anything past ordinary. This was your job, you had done this more than a thousand times before— much less carelessly and it wasn’t like you to be so careless. But sometimes you get so comfortable and cocky with your job that you forget about the actual risks of it.

Eventually that cockiness would have turned around and bit you in the ass.

When you and Morgan busted down the door, guns in hand, you split up, each directioning yourselves into different rooms of the apartment— in hindsight that was a horrible idea.

When you walked into what seemed to be an empty room, you stupidly failed to check the back of the door. Which was why a second later, when you opened your mouth to inform Morgan that the room was clear, something solid and cold wacked you across the back of the head, knocking you out unconscious.

You weren’t aware of what happened after that, given how the blunt force had knocked you out profusely and you really couldn't recall anything prior to the attack when you regained consciousness. All you knew is that you were alive and the Unsub had been caught, which was all that mattered honestly.

Derek was now wallowing in the self inflicted guilt of not knowing better. But to be completely fair, you didn’t know better either— you were as much to blame as he was.

But Derek was convincing himself that because of his lack of observation, you had ended up with a concussion, six stitches and a bruised cheekbone.

“Derek—” You pleaded, watching him dump the ice pack onto the counter of the back of the ambulance with an angry toss.

All he was doing right now was huffing in anger. “Come on,”

He turned to look down at you. Shot him a stiff thumbs up and a smile, signaling that you were more than okay. Sure, your head was throbbing, but you weren’t dying.

“Stop doing that,” You rolled your eyes and squashed your eyes shut, attempting to relieve your headache.

“Doing what?”

“The sulking,”

“I’m not sulking,” Derek scoffed. Now it was your turn to deadpan him. He opened his mouth, intending to jump instantly to his defense.

“Where is she?” A panicked voice from the depths of the crowd caused you to grimace, immediately recognizing it to be Spencer’s. Derek suddenly felt dread when realizing he now had to face him.

Spencer could be rather ardent when it came to you and your safety— you knew you were fine, but having to convince Spencer that you were fine as well was a tougher job.

Spencer pushed through the vast amounts of people, finally breaking through the last line of them and finding you sitting placidly in the back of the ambulance. The panic Spencer felt coursing within him was something he wished upon no one.

When Hotch told the team that you were down, Spencer couldn’t help but freak out. He hid it well, knowing he had to stay focused on the case, but god was he slowly crashing. His usual sharp intellect was fogged, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything but your wellbeing. His head was flooded with questions and worries and he needed to know that you were okay.

He strided over to you, quickly crouching and taking your cold hands into his own. His distressed eyes flew all over your face, scanning it as his hand came up to cup your cheek. His thumb gilded gently over your bruise and the deep furrow in his brows was enough to tell you that his mind was going haywire.

“Hey you,” You said, humor glistening your tone while smiling sweetly and oblivious to the gravity of the situation. Spencer forced a weak smile to spread across his own face.

“Hey,” He cooed. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine actually,”

Spencer straightened himself out, turning to Derek. “What did the paramedics say?”

“They gave her six stitches for the superficial cut on the crown of her head and some ice for the bruised cheekbone,” He crossed his arms. “They say it’s probable she has a concussion.”

Spencer felt his blood run cold. “A concussion?!”

You could tell Spencer was trying his hardest to remain calm. It was evident in the deep breaths he was taking and the tapping of his fingers against the side of his leg. He was doing a horrible job at it though, although you wouldn’t tell him that because he’d just freak out some more. His voice was getting all pitchy and his shoulders shook feebly. He sucked in a deeper breath, closing his eyes and attempting to regain his composure.

“Spencer,” You didn’t need him panicking more than he already was. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, probably to scold you or maybe even defend himself, Hotch's stoic voice cut through.

“We need to deliver a statement. Morgan, Reid,”

Spencer looked down at you. But you pushed him to head over to wherever your chief needed him to be. “Go. You can—“

“Hotch, I’m going to stay,” He told the chief, almost finally.

“For the first 24 hours after the injury, it’s important for someone to stay with her to keep an eye out for any new symptoms that develop.”

You clamped your mouth shut and looked at Hotch, who remained neutral watching the two of you. You offered him a shrug, and the two of you knew there was no getting through to him. Hotch hesitated momentarily, but knew Spencer would be more of use if he wasn’t with him worrying about you.

Spencer was as smart as they came but god could he be stubborn.

With a final nod from Hotch, he and Morgan pushed through the group of press. You followed Spencer’s movements with a sweet smile glued onto your face. He sat next to you, close enough so that you could feel the side of his thigh warm against yours.

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked again, voice small, worrying that if he spoke too harshly or too loudly it would hurt you further.

“Surprisingly good for someone who was smacked in the back of the head with a metal pole,” You shrugged indifferently. Spencer, however, did not find your humor amusing.

“How sleepy are you on a scale from one to ten?” He asked urgently. You pulled back, pursing your lips quizzically.

“Like three? I slept like shit last night—”

“How about your neck? Does it feel stiff?” His hands reached up, cupping the sides of your neck as his thumbs traced your jaw.

“No,”

“Are you unable to move any part of your body?” His questions were spewing out of him uncontrollably, and it was getting hard for you to keep up.

“I don’t—“

“What about your pupils? Did the paramedics check them?”

“Spence,” You whined, slumping your shoulders forward while your face still rested in his hands. “The bright lights and harsh noises are giving me slight headaches, but that’s it.”

He stared at you. Long and hard, he just looked at you and wondered what he wanted to say out of all the things swirling around in his head.

“What were you thinking?” He asked finally. You stared at him and his eyes hard with annoyance, but still shining an amount of concern. His voice was barely above a whisper. You let your shoulders fall, licking your bottom lip.

You reached up, grabbing his hands steadily from your face and lacing your fingers with his. “We weren’t,”

“We jumped in head first and didn’t think coherently,” His frustration was rational, but to a certain extent. You really wanted to validate his concern, but he was not allowed to get mad at you. “Spencer.”

As you called his name firmly, he only looked away, jaw and shoulders tense and constricted. You sat there, silently waiting for him to react however it is he needed to in order to process.

“I should’ve gone with you, I should’ve—” His head ducked low. His voice was full of frustration, at himself mostly. It didn’t have to be because this was not something he could have prevented.

“Spencer,“ You gave his hands a firm squeeze and tugged on them slightly. “What did we talk about when it came to personal prevention?“

He remained silent. “I’m serious, there isn’t anything we could’ve done to prevent this.”

Spencer couldn't call to mind the last time he had felt this strongly about someone. Maybe Maeve, but he knew deep down it wasn’t the same. He was almost positive he really hadn’t ever felt this way about someone— he’d been in love, but never like this.

Your entire existence ameriolated his entire being. There wasn’t a moment in the day where he didn’t think of you, where he didn’t wonder what you would think of things, where he wasn’t excited to see you every morning for work. A life without you didn’t exist to him anymore— he didn’t want it too.

That could be the main basis as to why Spencer felt so implausibly terrified at the idea of losing you.

His hand left yours, replacing it with a cold emptiness. His free hand flew up to his eyes urgently, pinching them simultaneously to get rid of the minor tears that had welled upon them. He ducked his head low, not wanting you to notice that he had started tearing up.

Immediately, your whole face softened at the realization that he was crying. It tugged on the strings that held your heart up and made your stomach churn in the worst way possible. “Spence…”

Seeing him cry, possibly because of the fear of losing you, made you feel— funny. It gave you this airy feeling in your head that caused you to feel lightheaded and filled your chest with blithe. You weren’t sure if it was your concussion or the affection you felt towards Spencer that made you feel this way.

You smiled meekly, fondness across every one of your features. Spencer cleared his throat and spoke, voice wobbly and unsteady. He sat up, trying to recollect himself. “Sorry, I— I don’t know what i’m crying for—”

You looked into his eyes, eyebrows swooped downwards. At that second a million thoughts ran through your head, but only those three freaking worlds were the only ones that felt adequate enough to say in that moment.

“I—“ You started.

It was right there. It sat in the back of your throat irksomely. You were ready to jump off the edge, to slip into the abyss— to say those words that you’ve been holding off for the past weeks, months even. Spencer watched you, simultaneously growing nervous because he could tell by the way you swallowed thickly that you were about to say something.

“I think I’m seeing double,” You opted. Just the way his eyes blew wide was enough to make you giggle.

Next time.

“What do you mean?! Like actually double or are you—“ His voice died down at the sound of your snort and soon enough you began laughing. He blinked a few times before he glared at you.

“That is not funny.” It irked him massively how you had the capacity to always joke when he wasn’t at all in the mood to. But it also unraveled the itching anxiety that had grown in his chest and replaced it with a deep affection that surged throughout him entirely as he watched you laugh. “I’m serious.”

“Did you know that you look so cute when you’re mad?” Your hands reached up, cradling his face in your palms. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips.

When you pulled away his frown was still present. The pads of your thumbs rested on both corners of his lips, pushing them upwards and creating a makeshift smile.

“I’ll let you baby me these next few days all you want,” Your voice was soft and sweet, making his head spin as you hovered your lips over his, placing another slow kiss there. “But right now, I’m promising you that I am fine, okay?”

His jaw clenched, eyes flying down to avoid your prying one’s. “Spence.”

You were saying his name one too many times that he was finding it increasingly hard to compose himself. He glanced up at you, nodding weakly. “Okay.”

The fifth time

You leaned forward in the mirror of Spencer bathroom, poking at the scarring on the crown of your head. “It feels weird,”

“It’s scarring tissue, it’ll feel weird for a bit, love” He watched you silently from his seat on the edge of his bed.

“Do you think it’ll leave a scar?” You mumbled, voice tight with concern. “The bruising on my cheek is fading but god help me, if this leaves a weird bump on my head I’ll physically seek this psycho out in jail and give him his own bump to worry about,”

Spencer stopped himself from laughing, finding your pouting adorable.

“After an injury, the inflammatory process signals fibroblasts to lay down new, protective tissue in the form of scars,” Spencer quipped. “But it won’t be noticeable since it’s hidden underneath the rest of your hair.”

You huffed, poking at the bruise on your cheekbone and admitting. “It’s hard to feel pretty when I’m all busted up.”

“You always look pretty,” You continued to poke at your cheekbone to which Spencer stood up, walking into the bathroom and planting himself behind you.

“Stop poking at it like that,” He scolded, reaching behind you and grabbing your wrist. You focused on your face, huffing a breath of frustration.

This past week has been utter hell for Spencer. A newfound persistent anxiety managed to find him after your injury and sink its teeth into him, claiming him victim. You've been staying with him since your concussion, ensuring him that you were safe, but he noticed he’d grown more vigilant to his surroundings when he was at work, more possessive when it came to you and your wellbeing and more conscientious.

You didn’t obtrude, since you understood it was a perfectly normal reaction for him to have.

But he hated it. He hated this clawing anxiety he was having. He hated having the persistent fear of losing you. He tried to decipher whether it truly was all related to the recent events or if there was something deeper. But he knew for sure that the thought of you getting hurt was making him sick to his stomach.

He wrapped his arms around you from behind, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck. You grabbed his arms, rubbing soft circles onto it with the soft pads of your thumb.

“Bruises make me feel ugly,” You miffed. “Except the ones you give me, I love those,”

Spencer looked up from your neck, catching your gaze and watching your mischievous smile lighten up through the mirror as he cocked a brow at you. You giggled out a laugh.

Spencer zoned out. He just looked at you, watching your pretty eyes latch onto his through the mirror, seeing your body safe and warm and alive in his arms. His throat tightened and as much as he hated it, his mind immediately thought of Maeve.

Not because he was comparing, of course not. He could never— the two of you meant very different things to him and they were very different relationships.

But he could remember how he wasn’t able to tell Maeve that he loved her— he wasn’t given the chance.

And it made him think about your recent accident, and all the times he'd been stopping himself from telling you. Fear, worry— whatever it was, he had been stopping himself time after time from telling you how he felt.

The thought of him losing you before he could ever tell you how he truly feels is something that made him want to throw up.

“Hotch said I could go back to work on Monday,”

“I love you.”

He said it because he could, he said it because he meant it, and he said it because he didn’t want to live a second longer without you knowing how he felt despite its reciprocity.

He won’t ever forget the way your face just fell. Just stopped moving, mouth hanging open and eyebrows shooting upwards. How your mind just went blank. God, his heart was in his throat and your silence wasn’t helping.

“What did you just say?” You asked, mostly in disbelief— entirely in disbelief.

“I love you.” He’d repeat it for you as many times as you wanted him too. He’d do anything for you.

You turned and his grip around you loosened. Now facing him, your eyes shot around every fraction of his face to determine that this wasn’t a lie or a joke or something cruel he was planning.

“Say that again,”

“I love you.”

And it definitely wasn’t.

You pushed yourself onto the tip of your toes, leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into a suffocating kiss. One that was desperate, and urgent and full of passion and all over the place.

He pushed you against the marble counter, quickly hoisting you up onto the cold tile as your mouth moved along his perfectly. Your hands dug themselves into his hair, your legs wrapped around his waist, tugged at his body, pulling him impossibly closer to your own.

He pulled away breathing over your lips. “I love you,”

He kissed you again before pulling away and whispering once again. “I’m in love with you.”

He rested his forehead onto you, reaching up and tangling his hands in your hair. The two of you heaved. Your chest was hammering against your rib cages, the oxygen wasn’t fully reaching your head or lungs and you were pretty sure you were going to faint. It was too much. “You are?”

You both peered your eyes open, looking at each other deeply. He whispered, voice crackling slightly. “How could I not?”

You kissed him, this time slowly and softly, wanting to show him how much you loved him back— needing to tell him how much you loved him back.

“I love you,” You said, wavering an unsteady laugh. He opened his eyes and pulled away, looking at you and infatuated with every part of your existence.

“Really?”

“Spencer..!” Your voice cracked in a protest, ludicrously referring to such a stupid assumption— you’d love him till the day you died. You pulled him closer. “It is physically impossible for me not to love you. Don’t act so surprised.”

He smiled. A big, wide and stupid smile that probably made him look like a kid on christmas morning. He kissed your forehead. “You have no idea how much of a relief it is to say it.”

You perched up, hands falling onto his chest. “How long have you wanted to say it?”

He cringed bashfully, letting his hands fall to your waist as he shook his head shamefully. “Too long,”

“Well that makes two of us then,” You leaned forward, placing a relaxed kiss on his jaw. “Was there a point you realized?”

He shook his head. He’s pretty sure that after a month of going out on dates and seeing you consecutively outside and inside of work, he knew he’d fall in love with you. How could he not? “My breaking point, however, was the day you were wearing your new shirt,”

He kissed your neck, giving your hips a tight squeeze. “Which by the way, looked absolutely incredible on you,”

“Is that so?” You mumbled, lips curving up in a smirk.

“I love how it looked on you,” He admitted. “I love you.”

You let out a shaky breath. “I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that,”

“I’m never going to get tired of saying it,” He responded. “When did you realize?”

“It was either that time after our first big fight or on that night on the couch when we,” You shot him a sneaky look, to which his cheeks turned pink, recalling the events of that night. You shrugged. “You know.”

You were going to be the literal death of him.

He kissed your jaw twice more. He loved you and you loved him. It seemed like something too good to be true. “I think I’m going to need you to jog up my memory,”

You giggled at the reference, heart doubling in size at the amount of affection you were feeling towards him at that moment. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, emitting a loud shriek followed by a string of laughter as he hoisted you up and carried you over to his bed.

[howbrightthemoon]

as we expected, EPISODE 5 WAS BRILLIANT

we're REALLLLYYY kicking off things in part 2 huh

SPOILERS BELOW proceed with caution

The intimate scene: we get a love scene not even half way through the episode and it is....SO beautiful, and I genuinely stopped breathing and couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the episode

there's lots of giggles throughout the whole scene because it's Pen's first time, there's check ins, double checks on consent...but Pen isn't totally clueless, she WANTS to touch him but just doesn't know how...and the way he guides her....and the way he makes her feel comfortable first with the ol carriage fingers before asking if she's ready AGHEHREWKENKFJNEWHR

and the way they slowly reveal their bodies to each other....my god it is just incredibly sensual and romantic, he really takes his time undressing her and savoring her, while he really takes his time letting her see all of him (and I mean ALL. OF. HIM.).

they start off slow...but again Penelope is like LETS FUCKING GO and she's giving him the 'fuck me' eyes and he's legit losing himself and honestly, they're both REALLLLYYY getting into it, BOTH. Not only is there the focus on Pen's pleasure, but Colin's too. I think because it's important to show the difference in his sexual encounters at the brothel versus with someone he loves. LN was seriously giving his all in this scene, I was not expecting to see an O face but yeah, he did thaattt

Whistledown mentions: Nicola does an amazing job at portraying the sheer anxiety she feels over this massive secret she's hiding. Now she's part of the Bridgerton family, she has to see Eloise more often and just SEEING Eloise makes her panic. Not even with the 'you have to tell him before midnight' thing, but every time they're in the same room, Pen just loses it. The way she shows how her anxiety builds and BUILDS throughout this episode is so scarily accurate, I really felt for her, poor girl was just trying to enjoy her fiancees engagement speech and Eloise just had to butt in and start ruining the whole night for her.

Cressida's motivations: girl, I get it. I'm sorry she's reverting back to her old cunning ways, but...man no one in that drawing room was listening to her...she had to say something. Can you imagine being in her position? i'd lie that I was whistledown too lol, girl, I get it. It's ELOISE that I'm honestly fed up with in this episode.

ANTHONY BRIDGERTON: Last thing, I wanna shoutout Jonathan's acting in this episode. The way I am so convinced that Anthony is absolutely overjoyed at the fact that he's going to become a father soon, and he plays that joy into every single scene he's in. I could see so much of that playful competitive big brother vibe from season 2 (especially in the charades scene, which reminded me of pall mall s2) from him in this episode, I loved it.

anyways rant over, I am seated for the release of all four episodes later today and you best believe I'm binge watching it

p.s. I just wanna say....Nicola was not kidding when she said she was going to show everything on camera....girl, you are absolutely gorgeous

[kaszuma]

Bad Habits | Hoshina Soshiro

Part 6 of “Certainly Yours”

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader

summary: Soshiro wanted to set things right by you, so he planned a date that would've gone perfectly. Had a Kaiju not appeared in front of you.

warnings: Mentions of Blood, heavy detail on Injury and Pain. Breathlessness and lots of claustrophobia related to crowds, Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, Slight Kn8 Manga Spoilers

wc: 6,552

–

note: Please inform me if I missed any warnings, It has descriptive injuries so I don't want to trigger anyone who's willing to read this.

Part 7 will be a direct continuation of this. So that's why I dubbed it as a Hurt/No Comfort fic for now. The comfort will come in another part because things have been going too smoothly in the relationship. And I don't want that. Anyways, look forward to the next part. I will be adding a tags list. So if you want to be tagged. Please tell me.

Also, thank you for a hundred followers 🫶

–

Today was the day Soshiro had decided to finally make it up to you.

After weeks of moving between bases. Handling Number 10’s strange quirks in its new prototype suit. It had been an understatement to say that he had kept himself rather busy in the wake of his occupation. His attention often divided between the lousy paperwork stacked against him, as well as his individual training.

One that he had always upheld to keep his body sturdy and his reflexes sharp. Not once acting careless in his response to a Kaiju attack. Especially now where he was equipped with a powerful and sentient combat suit, bloodthirsty for war. Willing to pick a fight with anything remotely breathing in his direction.

By all means, Soshiro could not afford to slack off. And if there was a miniscule chance that he did, he'd be minced alive for sure.

Just when his hard work had started to pay off too.

Now that he had been recognized as a numbers wielder no less. He'd be one of the few melee specialists that Japan could rely on in the case of an emergency. The proof of his existence. That he wasn't just a reject of the Hoshina Family's line of descendants.

That he was more than capable to wield a blade that could slay Kaijus that came after him. And he had succeeded. He had fulfilled his place in the hierarchy. His place solidified beside Captain Ashiro who was an even stronger ally than he was.

But despite his successes. Despite the satisfaction he got from climbing to the top with only the swing of his blade.

That had not been enough for him.

It had not been enough to prove his existence to the world.

And although that had been a major goal of his. To surpass people's expectations of his limits. His boon to keep fighting. To keep swinging his sword despite the odds stacked against him, had also been the downfall of many past relationships that could not blossom because it had gotten in its way.

And you had been the first to stay.

The first to understand his sentiments.The first to clear a path for him when everyone else had all but given up.

And yet here he was. Being a stellar lover and prioritizing everything else above you.

It had been weeks. Practically an entire month since he's spent some quality time with you. Sharing the occasional kiss in the hallways where you'd start your day off. Or acknowledging each other briefly when he had been stuck in the confines of the training rooms.

Beating the lessons right into rookies' bodies when you'd pass by. Or better yet, the daily coffee you had somehow managed to squeeze in despite your equally tight schedule. His favorite blend had always been waiting for him. Ready at his office on the days he burned the very wicks of the midnight oil.

And what had he done in return?

Nothing.

Not since that incident with Kaiju no. 10 at least. That of which he worked so hard to erase any evidence left in its wake. The fake report had at least been a piece of cake to do. And they had to do over the entire prototype testing just to make sure Number 10 was usable in its current state.

And unfortunately for him, it proved to be a much more difficult task to complete. Day by day he had not once made progress in raising the Suit’s combat power. Leaving Kaiju no 10 to mock his defenses and other battle related tactics whenever it could. But that had been the least of his worries.

In all honesty, he had been feeling guilty since that day.

Although he'd be remiss to say he didn't enjoy the feeling. Soshiro had not been in the right sound of mind when he found himself getting closer to you. Drunken by your scent, he had practically seen images flash by his mind. Courtesy by the Kaiju that had seen through his desires. And one thing led straight to the next. He found himself in a troublesome situation that he had been afraid to know the consequences of.

He had desired her. Yes. That much was clear. But he wanted the relationship to evolve slowly. At your pace. One that made you most comfortable.

But he had breached that space. The inch you had given him had turned into a mile. And he was lucky he still held some sort of restraint before he did something stupid and regretted his past actions.

And somehow, you still forgave him.

You enjoyed yourself even. Welcoming him with open arms for the next time around when they had managed to squeeze in the time between work. Open to the idea of a more sensual intimacy. In the privacy of someplace else. And Soshiro had wanted that too.

He wanted to correct his haste. To properly love you right.

But not everything had been picture perfect in the way he had planned. His bad habits showed in the ways he'd prioritize everything but you. And just when he built up his courage–Built up the resolve to face you. To do right by you.

Of course, things just had to get in his way.

Things always got in his way before he could properly apologize and make it up to you. Or atleast, that was the excuse he'd find himself feeling guilty of.

And that is where he found himself outside the premises of the Tachikawa base. Strangely out of uniform and in his civvies that he had managed to find beneath the sweatpants in his closet. Dappered in a simple black turtleneck and a white overcoat. Befitting of the cooler weather Japan had been facing in recent times.

He had been waiting for you to show up with a picnic basket in hand. A few paperback novels that he thinks you might enjoy. Added with a few sweets that he hoped would lighten up your day perhaps.

The plan had been simple.

He’d already done the nerve-wracking part. Stopping you midway as you finished giving him the stack of blueprints for the Combat Suit you had worked on upgrading. His hand reached to touch the soft skin of your knuckles. An action that made you look back at him in turn.

“Is something wrong?” You had asked curiously. The softness in your voice remained. One that made Soshiro want to melt into a puddle.

He smiled. Somehow the words got stuck on his tongue. And he had to remind himself that you were his lover. Who of course would agree to a date. Should he suggest it, Right?

He gulps. Suddenly feeling a little irritated at the way his stomach had dropped and a plethora of nervous butterflies had resurfaced.

Normally he'd have no problem taking out hordes of Yoju that came his way. Boasting the highest individual kill count for slaying midsized Kaiju of his generation. Yet somehow, his reason had gona askew. And he found this situation a little more terrifying than he anticipated.

“Hey, I was thinking..”

“Uh oh- That's not a good sign.” Your comment makes him smile. His eyes rolling to give your shoulder a playful squeeze.

“-That you and I need to have a talk.”

“About what?” You had replied with a tilt on your head.

“I got a few paperbacks in the mail yesterday. I was hoping we could grab a bite to eat while we read through ‘em?” He smiled. His usual grin did not falter in the way he spoke to you. Though you could tell that he had an inkling of nervousness by the way he reached up to scratch the side of his cheek.

“Oh. And here I thought I was in trouble.” You chuckle. “So you're finally inviting me out on a date, Vice Captain?”

He had moved to stand much closer to you. Hand already at the shape of your hip, habitually writing his name on the waistband of uniform. “Is that a no I hear from ya’”

“Now when did I say that?” And it makes you smile knowing he had been trying despite the busy schedule he had.

You had long since understood his place in the hierarchy. Soshiro may have not realized it, but he was far too important of a person in the Defense Force to have been kept away from duty.

His life alone had been the cost of a thousand who'd live due to his sacrifices. And whether or not his insecurities had blocked his view of his own self-worth. You were able to see it clearly.

So despite the difficulties. Despite the yearning you felt for his proximity You did the usual and prioritized his work. Letting him handle things when command had already put so much weight into his daily responsibilities. Not that he seemed affected by it, no doubt already used to the pressure of a hectic battlefield. Much less a hectic work environment.

But of course, you wouldn't reject an offer out on a date with your lover. Not when he so sweetly asked.

And if he had the occasional free time to invite you out. Who were you to say no to his offer?

“Soshiro!” You had called out. Appearing just beside him who stood nearest the entrance of the underground metro station. And he smiled turning towards you with his usual cheeky and cat-like grin.

“You shoulda’ texted me. I would've picked you up by the train stations.” He had moved his free hand to pinch your cheeks. And it makes you chuckle. Revealing yourself completely to him.

Where his eyes had raked over the surface of the cute outfit you decided to purchase the day before. Hand already twirling a strand of your hair before tucking it behind your ear. Admiring your very soul. Your entirety in front of him.

“And miss your startled face? Fat chance I'd miss that opportunity.” You laughed.

Soshiro had rolled his eyes in turn. His heart pounding as his free hand immediately intertwined with yours.

“If it makes ya’ happy Sweetheart.” He didn't waste this opportunity to gently pull you close. Kissing your temple which had been nearest his lips. “You look pretty.”

His compliments had made you brighten. Your face visibly beamed when his eyes drank your figure. “Damn straight. I wasn't about to let you one up me in the looks department.”

“Alright, alright.” He found himself chuckling. “Let's get moving before the desserts I bought ya’ go bad.”

You had half a mind to drag your feet while he took you out of the metro line. Acting stubborn just to stall and ruffle his feathers for a bit. As payback for neglecting you all those days ago.

But you had decided against it, the crowded train station was far too busy in the early hours of the afternoon. And you would not risk losing each other and wasting the rare day Soshiro had all planned out for the both of you to do.

“Lead the way.” You had smiled, giddy at the mere thought of a time well spent together. And Soshiro had shared that very sentiment. Already leading you away from the busy horde where lines of people had been waiting for the next train stop.

Upon your words, he had gently walked forward. Leading you by the hand.

His grip on you was firm and you can see the way his back had engulfed and weaved through the crowd much more easily than you ever had. Broad in his strides as he tried not to go too fast. Matching your pace since he knew you weren't as built in stamina as he was.

You had admired the little details of his nape. The one mole peaking through the skin of his turtleneck, where his hair had shown every detail of his jugular. One that you had marveled at when he wasn't looking.

Just as you were about to offer your help. Reaching for the sling of the basket on his free hand.

A shiver ran down your spine. The hand that had tried to reach for the basket had paused in heavy response.

And you had suddenly flinched as a loud gust of wind had blown past you. Making the indoor lights of the metro begin to pop and flicker abnormally. An eerie buzz emitting from each light source as if the electricity had all short circuited, simultaneously.

The temperature underground had strangely heightened. Unusual for the cool metro station during this time of day.

And the crowd that had busied themselves passing each other by, had all but stopped. With people's stares directed behind the both of you in a frozen and frightened state. You look around, almost confused. And Soshiro had gripped his hand harder against yours. As if he already knew the exact dread that overcame him.

The exact thing that had been staring right back at them.

And somehow you had that inkling too.

But denial had only been your first problem. And the rest of your body seemed to know the truth. Your very palms began sweating like bullets, and you had hesitantly looked behind you. To prove to yourself that it had not been what you think it was.

But Soshiro who had somehow read your mind. Had moved much quicker than you had.

Pulling you behind him, already pushing you to the exit when people had started panicking. Screams had been the accompaniment of hasty footsteps. With people of all different ages, running in the same direction. Away from the stairs leading down the metro line.

A mere glimpse is all it took for the hair on your skin to rise. And the face of a humanoid Kaiju had looked in your direction. Its skin peeled like oranges, unlike the gritty leathery texture that surrounded its cheeks. And although it had a terrifying grin on its face. It remained calm. Observant. It seemed ecstatic in the way it reveled in the attention it had gotten. Whilst Soshiro had pulled you from your trance.

“Run. Get going!”

Soshiro had strangely screamed. Already pushing you to evacuate, weary that the Kaiju could attack you at any given moment should it wish to. But the Kaiju had a strange way of showing its excitement. Gurgling at every noise it heard. And Soshiro's yell had all been reduced to a mere whisper against your ear. The sound of a panicked crowd was all too encompassing for you to actually make out his words.

Soshiro had kept a firm grip on your shoulders. Still trailing close behind you with his gaze fixated on the Humanoid Kaiju.

Its legs had hovered mere inches above the ground. Crinkled like an old vegetable that was left out in the freezer for too long. It had double the arms, one that resembled old branches with no leaves. And although it looked sickly and frail, he was sure the damn thing was capable of major damage given the right opportunity.

But instead of grabbing onto the nearest person like Soshiro had anticipated. It surveyed the area. Weary of its nearest surroundings.

It's molars and gums chattering against each other. Echoing throughout the underground halls of the metro station. It looked as if it was occupied with something. A far off look in its beady eyes. As if it were communicating with someone.

Perhaps it had something to do with Number 9? Shit.

If that's the case, Soshiro needed to get you out of here as soon as possible.

“I can't get through. They're all pushing..” You had gasped. Feeling yourself stumble back when another person pulled at your shoulder and leaped forward. Using you as leverage to get to the exit.

Soshiro, who had seen this, was quick to catch you before you could fall. Your back against his chest in a protective stance.

He couldn't move. Not yet at least.

More than anything he'd like to handle that thing as quickly as possible. But to leave you nearby in such close proximity too? There's no way in hell he was going to let that happen. So all he could do was fixate his eyes on that Kaiju.

This thing was clearly sentient. Soshiro had seen the way it lingered to read one of the signs nearest the exit. But I didn't seem interested in conversing, let alone leave if he had asked. And he wasn't about to take his chances.

He needed to get rid of that thing now.

“Hoshina here.” He had fished out the white earpiece that he hid on his overcoat's back pocket. Pressing the small item down to his ear to contact operations.

“There's a Daikaiju sighting in the Tachikawa-Kita Station. Requesting permission to use Number 10 to neutralize it.” He spoke seriously. Unlike the usual light hearted conversations you'd have with him. And it makes you stare up at him with raised eyebrows.

It had been weeks since you had worked on Number 10. It was still far too early to be used as a plausible weapon out in the field. And yet here he was, indirectly telling you that he had worn it out in public.

“You what?” You had gasped out. Eyes blown wide whilst his hand remained on the small of your back.

Much to your dismay, Soshiro had not answered you.

Simply moving you closer to the wall, to let other people get through. His hand still pressed against the intercoms whilst he waited for a reply from Operations.

Soshiro had been focused on shielding you for the most part. The crowd was pushing, but it seems they had still been making progress in evacuating the area. Save for a few rumbles that had happened when the Kaiju had suddenly implanted its branch-like fingers onto one of the pillars. Cracking the surface of the solid cement that held the pillar in place. And you couldn't help but worry at the close proximity you both had been.

Right in range of where the Kaiju was looking at.

“Permission granted.” Okonogi’s faint voice could be heard. Likely already booting up Number 10's system underneath Soshiro’s civvies. The bioweapon would slowly regain energy which kept it from its usual conscious state.

“Do you, or Do you not have Number 10 on?” You had asked incredulously. Prying his arms off of you to peel off his shirt. And his larger hand stops you before you could see the peak of red in the place of where his skin should be.

“As a precaution m'dear.” His reply was immediate.

And he suddenly grabbed you by the wrist. Ushering you forward along with the thinning crowd. The stairway had all been emptied now. Save for a few runaways that had tripped or were pushed earlier.

“Higher ups wanted me to get used to it. Releasing this thing’s combat power, I mean.” His voice had been an octave lower. His smile, although present, had not been enough to reassure you. And you had a feeling he was trying not to have you panic on him.

“That is stupid. Command shouldn't have let you wear it. Number 10 is still unstable. What if you go berserk and lose control?” You sighed, running your hand through your hair.

“You did try to argue with command right?”

…

“Right?”

Soshiro did not answer you. Already pacing to drag you out of here before things could escalate.

Meanwhile, you had all but looked at him once over. Now it made sense why he chose to wear an overcoat when the weather had only been a little chilly this afternoon. It had surprised you that he was able to hide its tail from emerging from his legs. But then again, he probably had his blades tucked away in that too.

“Soshiro..”

“Listen, I'll explain things later. Take this and get to the nearest shelter. I ain’t havin Number 10 going berserk. I'll be fine. Just let me handle the Kaiju first, okay-” His sentence was cut short by your scream.

A broken chunk of the large pillar had been thrown towards you. And it had startled you enough to drop the basket he handed you. Soshiro had been quick in his motion to shield you. Wrapping his arms around your shoulder to let his back hit the brunt of the pillar.

But before it could hit and crush the two of you to bits. The faint sound of number 10 chuckled inSoshiro's suit. And its weaponized tail lashed out to strike the pillar back. Destroying it before it could scratch you both from its debris.

The sharp end had all but ripped Soshiros overcoat to shreds. And he was quick to remove the unnecessary fabric on top of his combat suit. Revealing the distinct eye hollowed out in the middle of his chest.

“Lucky this bonehead woke up on time.” Soshiro had chuckled darkly. And it was followed by its immediate reply. Tail haphazardly swinging around from behind him.

“Stop with your meaningless trifles and get to fighting swordsman! My patience is thinning.” It sounded almost like a child. Though its voice had been a deep and rambunctious chatter like usual.

“You heard the darn thing.” He sighs, pushing you forward before another attack could come in.

And you shook your head, placing your firm hands against the suit of his chest. Just beside Number 10's glowing eye. Your gaze fixated on his usual smile, one that you had grown accustomed to hearing cheery laughs from. “Are you serious? This thing isn't ready for an actual fight.”

“Do not mock us Woman. By the time you have escaped our opponent would have been ripped to shreds by me.” It screamed.

Making you roll your eyes in turn. And Soshiro had all but chuckled. Already letting you get a head start as you stepped out of the underground Metro line. “Just go. I promise you I'll be jus’ fine.”

“I’ll come find you later.” He had spoken. Already turning his heel to grab the swords he had hidden on his back.

You knew this was his job. The unavoidable was bound to happen. And as much it pained you to leave him alone with a Daikaiju with only a misaligned prototype of a suit as an ally. There was bound to be trouble afoot. But what can you do other than run?

You weren't a fighter like he was.

Your use was only in the presence of a laboratory, as a technician. Paving the way to enhance his equipment. To heighten his chances of survival, even if it was a measly one percent of it.

That had been better than none after all.

So with a heavy heart. You nod. Glancing at his form for a second longer before you began running. Taking careful steps to the opposite direction where you knew the nearest shelter would be at. There was never a shortage of Defense Force Officers there. Maybe they'd be willing to let a few assist Soshiro before things could go awry.

Captain Ashiro had always made quick work of any Kaiju that appeared. The third had always been quick to respond to action. Not once arriving late when the Tokyo district needed them the most.

Soshiro would just have to hold out before then.

Deal with Number 10's strange habits and hopefully manage to unleash the suit's combat power which had proven to be a tricky feat for a while now. And if he were lucky, maybe he wouldn't need backup at all.

The optimistic side of you wished to see him make quick work of the Kaiju. Have him return to you, maybe with a couple or bruises to sport but nothing serious.

He'd smile at you. Holding peace signs with his fingertips out as a form of comfort. To tell you that he had been fine and the Kaiju had easily accepted defeat, ending the story in a clean neutralization.

You'd even be willing to hear Number 10's inflated boasting in the background. Telling you that they had sliced it to ribbons before you even had the chance to reach the shelter.

At least that's what you hoped to imagine.

Just as soon as you arrived at the familiar street. You passed by the multitude of shopping districts in the area. And you see the familiar crowd of people being ushered into the sturdy underground bunker of the shelter. Far away from the premises of the Metro Line where Soshiro’s battle had taken place.

You had immediately stepped up. Trying to fall in line with the rest of the crowded spaces that led up to the entrances of the bunker.

But somehow the temperature rose once more. And you feel the familiar rumble in your chest as a gust of wind had blown behind you. Your hair going in all sorts of directions before your eyes settled on the familiar looking Kaiju floating in the very back of the crowd. Nearing you inch by inch.

What was it doing here?

Everyone who had equally felt the same tension had been paralyzed from fear. Its beady gaze had been burning holes unto the crowd. And its neck cracked as it tried to tilt its head to the side.

This had been enough to get rid of the stupor on everyone's expressions. And another wave of panic ensued. Leaving you and a few others to be pushed around in the wake of everyone's panic.

“Report. Kaiju has been spotted here in Shelter 1121. Requesting permission to engage.”

You had heard one of the Defense Force Officers yell. The few that had been present were already aiming their firearms at the chattering Kaiju. It's head convulsing as it floated ever so closer towards the crowd. Its branch-like fingertips grazed the road. Eerily dragging its long limbs down the cement. Its pace is slow and tantalizing as if to tease your inevitable demise.

You had groaned.

Feeling yourself be pushed down to the ground. Palms hitting the coarse texture of the cement roads. Knees scraping the rough surface as you stopped yourself from falling face flat onto the floor. Luckily the crowd had been mindful enough not to trample you. With most of the citizens already crowding the entrance as Soldiers had blocked the Kaiju's path from going any further.

But you saw the way it moved.

In a blink of an eye the Kaiju had made quick work of the Officers. Sweeping them off like insects thrown to the side. Their bodies hitting the nearest surface available in the area. And you had tried to back away. The itching pain that had surrounded your knees was like putting salt on an open wound. Still fresh from the poor landing you had from earlier.

But there was no time to focus on that. Its beady gaze already staring at you and his next target had been made clear.

Just as you had tried to get up, you saw the way a car had been thrown right above your head. And you had been a hair away from being hit by the force of its pitch. Landing on a few people who had crowded up against the entrance of the base.

Likely crushing a few people in the process.

Shit.

The dizzy unease you felt had all but dazed your mind's eye. And somehow through the fire and the panicked screams. A force had thrown you off the ground.

And suddenly your body had slumped against the nearest wall. Your back landing on the very glass of a fashion boutique. Your weight had shattered its surface upon impact when you were thrown against it.

A shockwave on the ground had likely thrown you a few feet back. And you whimpered. Feeling the shards of glass puncture your shoulder and arms. A few cutting your legs that had shamelessly bleeded against the floor.

You could feel a much larger injury on the small of your back. But as it stands, you couldn't really focus on a specific area. Not when it had hurt all over.

It had hurt to stand up. Let alone to crawl away.

You were not in the safety of the base. And Soshiro had not been here beside you. Even if it hurts like hell. You knew that you had to move. You had to get away and find some help before the situation got worse.

But somehow, it had only gotten much more difficult to breathe. Your eyes which had blurred from the blood flow on your head had suddenly cleared a little bit. Just enough for you to inspect your surroundings. And you noticed it had gotten significantly darker upon your landing. Everything, even within the confines of the boutique, had been covered in a thin layer of smoke that you could've sworn wasn't here before

The scent had been weird. Both earthy and a little rusty for your liking. But it had a distinct bitter smell, like something had gone rotten in the area.

And suddenly your throat lurched. Coughing at the sheer difficulty your lungs had inhaled. Like suddenly oxygen had all but ran out and you were left with a gas that had been invading your system entirely.

Your hand had shakily reached up your throat. Trying not to panic as the breaths you made had gotten shorter and shorter.

Was this poison?

Did the Kaiju have anything to do with this?

Where was Soshiro? Was he dead?

Only panicked thoughts plagued your mind. Not entirely aware that the pain had made you almost delirious as you try not to cry from all the overwhelming sensations you felt.

Your only thought had been to gather your bearings and find Soshiro. Damned the injuries that weighed your body. Damned the poison gas that made you want to throw up your lungs.

All you needed was Soshiro.

Yet somehow, you find yourself back on the ground. With your cheek pressed up against the shattered glass. Eyes slowly fluttering to a close from the sheer exhaustion alone. And your body, had never accepted sleep more than this moment had.

–

Who knows how long you've been laying there. A few gunshots sounded out from the distance before it ultimately quieted down. A roar rumbled to the far east of where you had rested. But the sounds had gone silent a few minutes after.

And here you were, dizzy from a concussion. Bleeding from your arms and legs. And your breaths barely audible from the amount of toxic gas you had inhaled.

You didn't know whether or not your lungs were barely functioning anymore. But with the slow rise and labored falls of your chest, you were sure you had still been okay. Though it's a miracle you were still half awake.

You could still make the odd gasps and silent plea for help. So you couldn't sleep. Not yet at least. Not when help could so easily arrive and your chances of actually surviving would lower.

The smoke had not cleared up from where you had laid. And for a moment, you see the shadow of a figure step hastily through the broken boutique. Staring down at you with gritted teeth.

“Found you..”

Your breath hitched. Suddenly the blinding numbness had been replaced with a fresh bout of soreness and burning pains. And Soshiro, who had stood above your half-conscious body, had stumbled a bit.

Not used to the way your body stood so still. Arched upward from the shard of glass punctured nearest the back of your waist. His breath was stolen away, as he could only imagine how the pain must’ve felt when you were thrown off balance to crash a building no less.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, c'mere.” Soshiro's familiar voice was much clearer now that he had stepped much closer to you.

The clang of his blades had dropped beside you as his hands were already fumbling to remove the straps of his respiratory mask. Rushing to place it atop your mouth and nose. Hoping it would help you breathe properly.

“Someone get the medic. Get the medic.”

Soshiro screamed. Glancing behind him for a moment before his focus had been fixated on you. His other hand gingerly lifting your head from the ground to assess the injuries you sustained.

And his eyes. The wine color of his eyes…

You could've sworn it had darkened. Brimmed with the fear of losing you. A cacophony of unshed tears that would usually be closed and cat-like in its features.

“..Soshiro?” You croaked out. Voice a little raspy from whatever gas that Kaiju had decked out. And your lover immediately pulled you closer. Rocking your body to keep you awake.

His first instinct was to secure the straps of the respiratory mask on your face. Letting you take a few filtered breaths before you try to speak once more. Though he hushed you right after, in the case you’d drain the little energy you had left in you.

And from the deadweight he felt. He somehow feared the worst.

“Hey, hey, Shhhh. You're okay.” He spoke with a shaky voice. As if he were assuring himself more than he did you. “I'm here now. We're gonna fix ya’ up brand new. I promise.”

His words had been loud. Desperate even. But for some reason, it went in and out of your ears. Not entirely sure if he had been screaming at somebody else, or he had been talking to you in particular. His reassurances got softer and softer from the minute your ears began to ring.

The sound of his voice, which you would normally find comfort in. Had your head spinning around. Making you wince in turn.

You had wanted to reach out. To pull him close and check for his own injuries. But your arms and shoulders would twitch in pain anytime you had tried to move a muscle. The poison in your system had made it all the more heavier for your body to move. Chained to the ground as if restrained by your own powerlessness of the situation.

“You're done?” You had managed to groan out. Wondering if the Kaiju had been neutralized.

And his immediate response was to nod in your direction. Pulling you much closer so that his leg would be able to support your weight on the ground. Away from the edged shards of glass that had scattered about.

“I'm okay baby. Yer’ the one that needs the help here..” He lets out a dry chuckle. Not entirely convinced that his jokes were actually landing. His panic was more evident in his tone than it had usually been, and for some reason. That hurt more than the physical wounds you endured.

“I know.” You hissed. “Hurts all over..if you couldn't tell..”

“Shit. Medics are on their way. I'm gonna lift you up okay? You'll be fine. Just gonna meet em’ halfway..” He had started. With Soshiro gently hooking his arms underneath the knees of your legs. And just as soon as you were an inch off of the ground. You winced.

Your teeth gritted together as you tried not to cry from the pain you felt when your body had raised from the ground. His hands, although they had been careful, were far too firm against the cuts on your body.

And the pain on your back, where the glass shard had punctured your organs, had a burning sensation you wished would go away.

Soshiro who had seen the way you panicked. Stopped in his actions. Putting you back down on the ground where his leg had cushioned your bleeding head.

“I know, I know jus’ bear with me, alright? Keep your pretty eyes open.” The string of curses never left Soshiro's lips. And his hand which had gently held the cheek where the respiratory mask met the skin of your pale face. Hoping that your breaths would get steadier. The mask recording all the slow inhales you'd take.

In and out. Labored but at least it was still there.

“Breathe..jus’ breathe for me, okay?”

Your eyes had tried to blink rapidly to remove the fatigue you had felt. But somehow, you were fighting a losing battle. And you couldn't help but give into the darkness. The fatigue would feel much nicer since you didn't have to worry about the pain. And with your lover here. It was okay to relax now. No longer did you need to have your guard up to combat the fight or flight situation.

And Soshiro found himself panicking even more at the way your eyes grew distant. Screaming at his intercoms for a medic on-field. Likely already on their way to the location he had sent to Operations moments prior. Okonogi in particular was trying to reassure the Vice Captain, but to no avail.

Not when his focus had all but fixated on your wellbeing. Eyes already closed as you drifted to an unconscious state.

His hand had reached down to your cheek. Already running circles against the bags of your eyes. Running across the dried tears that brimmed your eyes. Denying that this moment had a possibility to be your last.

And without hesitation, he started lifting you up again. This time not a peep from your mouth.

He was gonna fucking take you to the neareat hospital himself if he had to.

Like hell he was going to let you die. Right?

Right?

“Shit. This ain’t funny. Wake–Wake up!”

He hears Okonogi speak on the other side. Something about how a few officers had already turned the corner nearest their location. And he found himself running to their direction, your head leaning against his shoulder leaving small blood stains on Number 10's plated armor.

Help was close. But Soshiro's mind wasn't eased by that fact. Not at all relieved.

Not when your head had still been bleeding and a shard of glass as large as his hand had been punctured just below the small of your back.

And as he ran, he had wondered what he could've done to avoid this.

Should he not have asked you to go out today?

No.

You had been far too eager for this moment. It had been his fault for neglecting you. For not prioritizing the wave of affections you gave him in turn.

He had promised himself that he was gonna cherish you. Dedicate entire days just for you.

And yet here he was. With his plans, ruined beyond repair. And he finds himself going back to the root of his bad habits.

His work, his ambition to be seen as someone capable. Someone who existed in the hands of the world who did not see his strength and dedication. It had held him by the collar, forcing him to face elsewhere. Trapped him from doing right by you.

And now?

His bad habits had now suffered the consequences of his actions. No longer did he have the chance to do everything once over.

And his apologies had fallen to deaf ears. Hoping for the chance you'd get to hear him again.

He had a bad habit of doing you wrong. And now, he hopes you'd be awake so he can set things right.

[a-girl-in-neverland]

Once again, im here to complain about the bridgerton subplots and changes

So spoiler for Season 3 ahead

I hated that they just cast Anthony and Kate aside. Do they really had to go RUNNING to India and couldnt wait for FRANCESCA'S WEDDING???? Hello??? Werent they the head of the family??

The intention with that is great and loving but is the showrunner allergic to having Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley in our screens for more than 3 minutes????

Like at that scene of the night before Polins wedding. Colin mentions that Kanthony has "come back"??? From where??? Did they run off again??

(Also i would really like to know who Edwina married and a bit of her love story)

The way in which the writers simply forgot about benedict's art/painting plot is atonishing. The build up of S1 to S2 was great, with the art school, but then in S3 is like that never happened?? Why didnt they explore more Benedict's lack of purpose or even his disappoinment with Anthony's actions?? Noooo, they just rather have him have sex with people all season long

(Before you come after me, im not critizing Benedicts sexuality, im just pissed that his character had barely nothing to do this season other than have sex, but i did enjoy a lot his scenes with eloise)

The Mondrichs plot was sooooo inconsequential and had nothing to do with any other one in the entire season. What was the point of keeping them?????

Somehow the writers in this show can make up irrelevant plots for lukewarm characters but cant come up with anything for the most beloved ones

And lastly about Michaela Stirling. So many people on twitter are fighting over this that is sickening. But lemme tell you this, all my life i had the pleasure (or better, the experience) to see many books i adore turn into movies/tv shows. Sometimes in adapting change is good, sometimes is necessary. But this change alters the whole story.

To be clear, i am NOT trying to be disrespectul, or homophobic or even mean about it. I dont mind the representation. In fact i think stories centered around LGBTQ+ leads, in this period of time, is a niche that could be much explored. Bridgerton could inspire people who belong in this community to write these stories, which is great.

However, the change of introducing Michaela completely transforms Francescas story. The second-love with the exploration of sexuality trope has great potential. But changing so greatly a story thats well known between the fans is risky to say at least.

Francescas book is not my favorite (by far actually) but it is for a lot of people, and a lot of readers have been enamoured with michael for the last 20 years, at least. So i understand if people get upset, because i would too if my favorite couple/story changed so much out of the blue

And honestly, i think this is one of the ways the show is trying to remain relevant. I AM NOT trying to say that TV should use LGBTQ+ love stories as clickbait. But be serious, the books were written as 8 straight love stories, in todays society people would be complaining if they followed if by the rule.

Anyway, Polin were wonderful. Nicola and Luke you are so so so loved, we couldnt have actors that loved their characters more

(And at this point i might be a Portia Featherington stan, she grew a lot on me)

If you read this far, i hope you have a great week and please dont come for my critics, they are not hate opinions, i just needed to rant <3

[wysteriaisapenguin]

Slay the Princess - Atonement AU

Sorry if I don’t have any visuals to go with this, but hopefully the more I expand on this AU I’ll draw something for it

TLDR: An “Everyone Hates You” ending but only half of the voices are present and the other half are awakened after LQ is left exiled. Now LQ must find a way to redeem Themself while the voices fight amongst each other.

(Content warning for gore mention and depressive thoughts. Will also include STP spoilers. Read at your own risk!)

Summary: After the Long Quiet, a loathsome bastard who liked causing chaos, slayed the Princess once and for all, They create a new world free from death and suffering. But what They didn’t anticipate was the wrath of Their voices, who were angry at LQ for treating them so horribly and mocking them for their deaths whenever They approached the mirror. They mercilessly attack LQ, stripping Them away from Their godhood by separating themselves from Their body. While LQ was exiled in disgrace and left to face the consequences of Their actions, the voices decided to take it upon themselves to rule the new world. This included Hero, Cold, Cheated, Stubborn, Paranoid, Opportunist, and Contrarian. Because of their hatred towards LQ, their pain and anger manifested as they slowly became worse versions of themselves.

While Contrarian tried to maintain his sanity and did his best to lighten things up by being his usual funny self, it wasn’t enough. Tensions were always high and everyone was “too serious” to pay attention to him. It had even got to the point where Hero, who now called himself “Savior”, wouldn’t even smile around him anymore. Contrarian couldn’t stand seeing his close friend, who was once a steadfast and compassionate hero, turn into a cold and tired shell of himself. He was so uncomfortable with the gloomy atmosphere that he decided to run away. There was no point for him to be around his fellow voices.

Eventually Contrarian was found by LQ and four “new” voices, who woke up sometime after LQ was exiled. This includes Broken, Hunted, Skeptic, and Smitten. The four of them have been helping LQ survive while hiding from the warped voices. Contrarian is glad to see LQ again and understands Their regret of making things worse for everyone just for the fun of it. (After all, he was guilty of doing the same thing…) But now that he knew that LQ wants to redeem Themself for the terrible things They’ve done, he is determined to help Them do so. Teaming up with the four other voices, Contrarian and his new allies plan to rise up against Savior’s rule and give LQ another chance to save the world.

The Warped Voices - Team Hero

Hero -> Savior: As the leader of the warped voices, he takes it upon himself to carry everyone’s burdens, whether they ask for his help or not. As a result, he is always tired and stressed out. He has complicated feelings towards LQ; he is disappointed in Them but doesn’t outright hate Them. He figures that if LQ won’t make the new world a better place, he’ll have to do just that himself. Thorny branches begin to grow on his body and the more his mental state wavers, the more branches grow on him.

Cold -> Ruthless: Continues to play his role as the “ideal version” of LQ despite becoming a separate entity from Them and achieving what the Narrator had always wanted. He is partnered with Cheated to find LQ and slay Them once and for all. He now wear a veil that hides his face. If one were to remove it, they would see a horrifyingly mutilated face devoid of emotion. Anything he touches become just as frigid and numb as him.

Cheated -> Vindictive: After being screwed over one too many times, he is delighted to finally have the power to control the new world to his liking. He still sees life as a game but plans to keep on winning and let the losers suffer the same pain that he had felt. Anyone who stands a chance against him will be shouted at with his spiteful words. With Cold’s help, he has also learned how to become a skilled fighter and thinks killing LQ would be the ultimate victory.

Stubborn -> Bloodthirsty: Has become restless and furious now that he has no reason to fight in the new world. So he gives himself a purpose by fueling all his hatred forwards LQ and decides that he won’t rest until he is able to kill Them with his own hands. As a result, he becomes just as bloodthirsty, grotesque, and powerful as the Fury. He is considered one of the deadliest fighters of the warped voices, though he prefers to fight alone.

Paranoid -> Hysterical: Is more of a nervous wreck than ever. She always keeps a close eye on the other voices, especially Opportunist, in case they do anything rash and dangerous. Constantly in a state of panic, she can’t afford to trust anyone anymore, not even her fellow voices. The only one she trusts is Hero because he understands her paranoia more than anyone and is always there for her. Because of this, the two have become closer than ever.

Opportunist -> Cutthroat: Believes that staying on the side of the warped voices makes him feel more powerful and likable. And even so, he wants more. Instead of fighting like the other voices, he assigns himself as Hero’s assistant by appealing to him and always agreeing with his decisions. When he overhears that a new group of voices have appeared, he believes he has what it takes to convince them to join the “winning side”.

The ‘New’ Voices - Team LQ

Broken: The first of the ‘new voices’ to be awakened by LQ after They were exiled. Hopeless, small, and fragile, they believe that they are beyond saving and deserve every horrible thing that is being put upon them for committing a sin so great. Despite being unable to do anything, they are always seen with LQ, serving as some sort of comfort for Them. They understand LQ’s misery and wallows with Them, crying about how pathetic they both are.

Hunted: A voice awakened from LQ’s desire to hide and survive from the wrath of the warped voices. Out of the new voices, it is the only one capable of fighting against the warped voices and relies on its pure instinct, heightened senses, and swiftness. Despite this, it is still no match for Stubborn, Cold, and Cheated. It is very protective of its allies and swears to keep them safe at all costs.

Skeptic: A voice awakened by LQ’s self doubt and questions if They can change and make amends. He works alongside Hunted to find the best strategies to help LQ, as well as the other voices, survive and keep Them safe. Despite this, he is somewhat insecure about being unable to fight for himself, since he had been severely beaten up by Stubborn several times. Although he is intelligent and observant, he wishes he could be more useful in dire situations.

Smitten: The last voice awakened by LQ’s reminiscence of the Princess. While the other new voices have no memory of the Princess, Smitten is the only one who remembers her. Wistful but hopeful, He firmly believes that LQ has to keep on living and never lose hope so that They can make things right again, especially for her sake. Though this mindset starts to waver as he learns about the truth behind LQ’s past actions…

Contrarian: One of LQ’s original voices, but after feeling left out by them, he runs away and joins LQ. He still likes to make jokes every now and then, but it only helps in cheering LQ up. Part of him wonders if everything would be so much better without him…while he gets along well with the new voices, he misses Hero and wonders if his close friend is doing well without him. He has no hard feelings towards LQ and feels relieved that they share something in common.

[ghettogirly]

Hey beauty, can you do a armando headcanon where he is madly in love with the reader, (he does whatever it takes for her to look at him, but in a subtle way) I would love you forever, thank you :) (On my knees for this man)

[🕷️] 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍!

-> synopsis: he loves your attention and he’ll do anything in order for you to look at him.

-> warnings: swearing, mention of guns, spoilers for bad boys ride or die.

-> note. Thanks for requesting! Hope you enjoy! I did a different take on this, the negative attention being explicit but the positive attention being more implicit.

[🕷️] 𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

-> Armando isn’t a man of many words, so if he wants to convey how he feels, he’s going to do it in the most short but ruthless way possible.

-> so your first impression of him was not the best.

-> He disrespected your team and your work, calling you “pedazos de mierda,” not loving the type of work you do.

-> after all, he is a criminal and you work in law enforcement. not a great pairing.

-> however, he got you on a bad day and you flipped.

-> “You’re a fucking criminal who has amounted to nothing in his life but hurting innocent people! We don’t need you for this shit , we will figure it without you. Go fuck yourself Armando. La ¡Maldita perra!”

-> he was quite stunned at your sudden outburst as so was the rest of them. Scanning your face, all the male could see was sadness with an ounce of regret.

-> safe to say, he weirdly enjoyed you putting him in his place like that.

[🕷️] 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

-> Armando is a very skilled fighter, you would’ve found out by the end of the mission.

-> The way he loads the magazine back into his gun and positions himself for the best accuracy, treating the metal weapon with the upmost respect in a way.

-> The mission where he had to go underneath the water, waiting for his opportunity to strike to save Mike’s family.

-> His shirt clung onto his broad chest as it shrunk due to the fibres retracting because of the water, a sight blessed from the Gods.

-> The water droplets sliding off his beard as he ascended from the water and ran with Mike and Marcus to raid the abandoned alligator park.

-> it angered you that he did not even have to do much to get your attention, just being himself was all that was needed.

-> the time to where he even told Dorn to blow up a picture. those three words replaying over and over in your mind like a trance.

-> “Blow it up.” The sultry, mexican accent dripping off his tongue as he commands your partner to explode the picture on the screen.

-> Even the look back to you and the team where he found the man who ordered the hit on Cap, his intense stare as he flickered his left eyebrow to indicate he recognised the man.

-> his stare lingered on you for another second before he broke it.

-> it was as if in that second.

-> he knew that he had this effect on you.

-> and he loved it.

[🕷️] 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

pedazos de mierda: pieces of shit.

La ¡Maldita perra!: you fucking bitch.

[bekkachaos]

BRIDGERTON THOUGHTS PRT 1 !

Okay so I've got me some thoughts about season 3 and I'm just going to get them all out, please come talk to me and tell me if I'm wrong, if I'm right or just make incoherent noises at me.

If you don't want Bridgerton season 3 part 2 spoilers it's time to look away!

Imma start with just Polin then do another post for the rest, this is too long 😅

Okay, so I'll start with the music, I'm sure we all knew POV was going to be during the mirror scene and oh my god it did not disappoint. It was perfect.

Then we've got yellow, now I knew, I knew, this would be their wedding song. It had to be their wedding song. I was ready to boycott if yellow was not their wedding song (this is a lie but that's how confident I was) and it was so goddamn sweet with him looking at her coming down the aisle and she looked so beautiful!

And let's not even talk about you belong with me when they're dancing. Let's not even talk about it.

The Portia and Colin scene was perfect. Everything about it was perfect and you won't change my mind.

I really loved that we got a lot of parallels and nods to the things that Portia has done for her family and the things that Penelope has done as Lady Whistledown, and that it finally allowed them to be closer because Penelope has spent all this time thinking her mother doesn't care about her and that she's vapid but then by the end she realises that they aren't all that different and it really mends the gap there.

It was kind of sad for Colin when he was showing Penelope their new house and she just wasn't getting as excited as him. But then him telling her that he loves her right after defending her honour was so beautiful and just made my heart do little flippies.

And like obviously I've got to mention the mirror scene. I've got to mention it. I've just got to do it. It was so soft and loving and Colin just spouting his feelings was the most wonderful thing and they did it so beautifully with the way that they changed the camera and it went from voice over to him talking real time.

Unpinning her hair? Why the fuck did I find that so romantic?

And I love that they kept her self-conscious and he just kept telling her that she didn't need to be because he loved everything about her and he found her so beautiful, and then he undressed her so slowly and I love her little cover up because it showed how nervous she was.

But can I just say? Lie down? Lie down?? Damn okay Colin. Yes sir right on that.

And then him undressing just as slowly and her watching him and my god the little noise when he took off his breeches, her face was so cute the whole time I can't even tell you how adorable and perfect it was!

And I love how much it nodded to the book in the dialogue and her asking him to tell her what to do.

The whole scene was just so tender and real and it felt so different to the other love scenes that we've had in the previous seasons, which were very much driven by passion. Even Daphne and Simon in season 1. Where there was that vulnerability it was different, he had already told her how she could feel pleasure whereas this is all new for Penelope, and Colin just made sure she was okay the whole time, made sure she wanted it, and the way they were able to smile and laugh... It was so comfortable and sweet and simply incredible!

The dancing in the church was just so cute and throwing in the line about him not being punished as a child was such a good book callback

Kinda glad Colin found out the way he did in the book, but fucking ouch!

The silence that came after? Fucking heartbreaking. But Portia and Violet noticing and wondering wtf happened was actually kinda funny, I like them together.

The wedding was incredible obviously, but also it felt wrong to go from the silence to such sweetness and then back to Colin literally sleeping on a tiny ass couch? Like WHY?

Also we were deprived of Colin and Pen waking up in bed together and being soft and sweet and laughing and just generally being so fucking in love?? If I don't get that at least once in season 4 I will riot!

imma make a part 2 this is so long!

[plainandgeneric]

Earthspark Season 2

Ok I just watched S2 ep1-10 and it's... not great (Purely my own opinion). ⚠️ Spoilers and my disappointed thoughts below:

Very noticeable downgrade in animation, storyboarding, writing, and pacing. S1 fight scenes were some of the best stuff we've seen in forever but the choreography we got in S2 is...lacking. I've read that they changed animation studios for S2. Maybe that's the reason for the sudden drop in quality.

Ah. Another fetch quest plot. S1 was so interesting and fresh! There was none of that in S2.

Bits of story hooks/mysteries in S1 never got mentioned again.

I hate the direction they took with Starscream in this show (and I say this as a fan of Skybound's characterisations). I had expected him to be a morally grey antagonist but not a super evil villain. What's the point of all that set-up and character development in S1??

The ending??? What was that??? horrible.

If my thoughts come across as harsh, it's because I had a lot of high hopes. Despite some flaws in S1, it was genuinely so fun and amazing! Very disappointed in S2 so far, even though there's bits that I did enjoy. Hopefully the second half will be better.

(Again, these are purely my own opinions. You might've really enjoyed S2! Sadly it's just not for me.)

[mrsmiagreer]

EA SPOILERS

another gaming audio?

“Asha. Asha.. Asshher”

HES MAKING ME BLUSH ALR

“yeah i’ll be fine i can multitask cmere”

“Blow me” AHHHHHHHH

“res me” MILO OMG KILL ME NOW

UNWINDING BEFORE THE WEDDING TRIP

WEDDING MENTION ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

MILO IS OFFICIATING YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

heyyyy i used to have an xbox 360

“Awe stubborn? Me??” cutiepie😘😘

fast forward a little

WAS THE “blow me” EARLIER FORESHADOWING?!

WHINY SWITCH MILO

that big FUCK at 11:05 just flooded me😭😭

GROWLY MILO GROWLY MILO GROWLY MILO

“Yea yea yes this is the sound of frustration. I’m soooo fucking frustrated. Can you hear that?”

MILO I WILL BIRTH YOUR CHILDREN TODAY

“Mhm Mhm”

My weakness

how tf do they not hear him

David and Asher are gonna talk later fs

“Omg we did it omg he’s dead! Holy shit!”

“Game’s just getting fuckin started sweetheart”

🩷🩷🩷😫😫😫

I rate this one a 7/10 because he jumped over blake in the line and because he barely tried to hide his pleasure from the mic. But BIG points to the growly parts and the beginning that was so sweet🫶🏽🫶🏽

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

having finished david j. skal's something in the blood: the untold story of bram stoker, the man who wrote dracula, i enjoyed it tremendously and learned a lot and thought his commentary was mostly good or at least interesting and bookmarked some quotes i intend to type up at some point. BUT i do have some dracula-specific nits to pick that i am going to share here because to be frank i think The Dracula Daily Community On Tumblr will be receptive to my complaints. spoilers relative to the current calendar point below the cut for dracula daily first-timers

1. i mentioned early on in my reading of the book that one thing that became very apparent to me is that a lot of the seward-van helsing dynamic sure feels like it can be read as an expression of the kind of relationship stoker desperately wanted to have (or wanted to believe he had, and perhaps even convinced himself he did have) with henry irving: a mentor-mentee relationship between two men where the older and more dazzling man has his peculiarities and eccentricities but also pledges to the younger and more worshipful man a sincere undying loyalty born out of gratitude for his stalwart service in times of old and of a general respect for what the younger man brings to the table. skal is careful not to argue too forcefully for any particular biographical reading but he is also not generally shy about tossing out possible emotional connections or sources of inspiration; for example, as he discusses irving's death, he asks whether, if irving really was a source of inspiration for dracula, on some level stoker's observations of irving's failing health in his final years may have spurred him to gift him a fictionalized immortality. given that, the more i read the more i found it just sincerely bizarre that the sewart-van helsing connection doesn't come up even once. my guess is that his reading of jonathan as stoker's self-insert (he doesn't use that exact phrase iirc but he says this pretty much explicitly but i have no idea where in the 580 book so... sorry) occludes the possibility in his view that any of the other characters are also self-inserts (my own hypothesis is that basically every major character in dracula is a self-insert to some degree or another lmao. it's a very self-indulgent book! i don't mean that in a bad way!)

2. skal talks a lot about stoker's lifelong Gender Weirdness, which resists a reading as simple or as definitive as "he's just gay" but comes up repeatedly (sometimes in ways i thought were kind of goofy, like in his discussion of the irish custom of dressing boys in girls' clothing until they were like 7... like if it's culturally normal then doesn't that just mean children's clothing is gender neutral until a certain age? if it's happening to all boys would it be expected to have particular effects on a single boy who is being treated the same as all other boys? idk....). like, he talks about a poem stoker wrote in college or thereabouts that is either gay or from the perspective of a heartbroken woman, he talks about his interest in the conspiracy theory that queen elizabeth was actually a dude, etc. it's a recurring thread in the novel. AND YET!!!!!! ...... absolutely no mention of mina being described by van helsing as having a man's brain and a woman's heart. he quotes the journal entry where stoker describes himself in similar terms but does not connect it to dracula even though it is IMO a MUCH more explicit and direct connection than many of the possible biographical connections he identifies. like idk if i'm just tumblr dracula book club pilled but to me this was insane lol. that's the most overt expression of androgyny in dracula and it just doesn't come up at all! this is related i think to the idea that jonathan is the only self-insert (see also the fact that he never brings up how integral mina's secretarial skills are to the plot when he spent much of his professional life exercising secretarial skills of his own...) and also to his general acceptance of the reading that dracula as a novel is only nervous about women (which it is lol) and not doing any other stuff with them (which it also is! see below...)

3. okay this is the wildest one for me. on the one hand sometimes i get very insecure and defensive about how we talk about dracula here because i'm like, idk can 7 billion people positing a single very simplistic exclusively regressive view of the novel's treatment of women really all be wrong? but something happened in this book that kind of strengthened my conviction that no actually the book is just not as straightforward in its treatment of women as many readers would suggest, which is that skal, who has devoted a considerable portion of his career to the novel dracula by bram stoker, actively misremembers a scene in the book in a way that aligns it more comfortably with the reading that dracula is a fantasia about punishing gender-transgressive women - discussing stoker's next novel, the man, he writes: "There is much consideration of how female dominance and male submissiveness might be balanced, without the New Woman hysterics of Dracula, in which Lucy shocks propriety by suggesting a woman might propose to a man and is summarily cursed with living death." but lucy literally doesn't suggest that! mina does! (august 10: "But I suppose the New Woman won’t condescend in future to accept; she will do the proposing herself. And a nice job she will make of it, too! There’s some consolation in that.") and while mina is temporarily cursed with living death, ultimately she is saved and gets to live happily ever after. i was like quite sincerely shocked by such a flagrant error about the text this guy is an alleged expert on (he is one of the co-editors of the norton critical edition); personally i noticed the mistake right away because every year on Mina Makes Fun Of The New Woman Day i get annoyed at the tag filling up with people who have never in their lives heard of a smart interesting woman who was not also aligned politically with the cutting edge of feminist thought, lol. i guess it really goes to show you the power of narrative that a particular framework for understanding gender in the novel like... literally overwrote the actual text in the memory of someone who has spent much of his professional life talking about this novel. but like i said i also found this in a weird way affirming because well like yeah... in order to simplify gender in dracula that much you literally have to be wrong about the actual events of the book lol...

it's occurring to me now that he also talks about bram's invalid childhood but doesn't connect that to jonathan's time as an invalid and subsequent restoration to splendid manhood... i'm not saying there is a connection but i am saying i don't think this is a less insane thing to posit than "is dracula immortal because he wanted henry irving to live forever," you know?... he quotes a guy talking about all the grown men crying in the novel as an example of arrested development connected to reading dracula as a fairy tale which overall is a reading i DO like but he doesn't also connect all the hysterical dudes to the gender stuff even though the novel definitely makes a point to associate sobbing breakdowns with women while also giving them to all its male characters... well whatever... the history was very fun to read and i do recommend the book if you've been curious about What Stoker's Whole Deal Was and i also did like some of his insights on dracula, like the aforementioned connection to stoker's love for fairytales (he points out that as in fairytales most of the main characters are orphans and i was like - oh! - my heart!) and his emphasis on stoker's love for the theater and for his childhood experiences of the christmas pantomime which i think really underscores my general belief that dracula slaps partly because it is, as i mentioned above, extremely self-indulgent and totally unafraid of showy tricks and melodrama (compliment!!!! i mean this as a compliment!!!!)... but yes i do think his analysis of the novel leaves something to be desired.

[charcubed]

I have thoughts on Benedict Bridgerton's future.

Spoilers for Bridgerton season 3 below.

Have I read the Bridgerton books? No. Have I seen the show? No. Can I mind my own business? Also no! And I’ve been on bisexual Benedict watch since day one because I am who I am as a person and my sister looped me into this because she knows how I am!

So with that in mind… fuck it. Here’s my half theory, half pitch for what I’d love to see them do with Benedict now that he’s gloriously explicitly bisexual (and THANK GOD FOR THAT) based on what I know of his story.

-I’m aware his love / endgame in the books is Sophie. Considering what they’re now doing with Francesca and Michaela (FUCKING LOOOOOVE THAT!! THANK GOD FOR THAT TOO!!!!!), I strongly doubt they’d gender-bend Sophie for Benedict.

-I’m also vaguely aware of Sophie’s story being like a Cinderella redux and her being an illegitimate child.

-With that (very) baseline knowledge in mind, + how the show has so far handled Benedict… I have a vision.

-Let Benedict and Sophie fall in love and be committed to one another.

-Let them also both be bisexual.

-And let them be polyamorous.

-HEAR ME OUT!

-There are 2 big reasons I say this:

-The first is that they’ve had Benedict describe his newfound bisexuality and queer joy as feeling “free” (love that so much), and crucially he also told Tilley he didn’t want to close the door on that feeling of freedom quite yet through any commitment to one person. So… I think it would be incredibly reductive if they still did that with him later, and there would be unavoidable optics that would allow shitty people to say “okay, Benedict had his fun and his whore era; now it’s time for him to get serious and suddenly fall madly in love with a woman he commits to forever.” When a character is bi, it’s very hard to pull that off successfully. Is that enough reason to not do it? Not quite. Would it make Benedict less bi? Of course not, because bi men who are in relationships with women are still bi. Nonetheless, the framing of it would be very precarious here mostly because Benedict’s bisexuality thus far is sort of tied to him having fun and feeling purposeless and waffling about in (if you will) the eyes of society. Getting him to settle down is a slippery slope to – in the eyes of idiots with no media literacy – getting him to no longer be bi. Additionally, they JUST pulled that “okay no more whore era, it’s time to get serious” shit with Colin too. Are they gonna more or less repeat that with Benedict? Why would they? It would be boring and basic as fuck, if you ask me.

-The second and even stronger reason I say let him be married and poly is that it would fit his personality far better than the “time to get serious” approach. The baseline is already in what he’s been doing and saying this whole time, and it’s not very subtle in my opinion. Benedict is an artist (who is currently almost repressing his artistry but that’s a tangential yet different topic). He commiserated with Eloise (who may also be queer) about wanting something more or a different life beyond society’s expectations. Rule breakers or people who stand out as boldly contrarian in a crowd win Benedict’s notice, and that was his whole thing (and queer subtext) even back in season one with Henry Granville, who essentially outright dared him to think on the courage it takes to live “outside the traditional expectations of society.” Benedict’s gotten a taste of that now that he knows he’s queer himself, but it should be taken further. And it’s further emphasized in how he speaks in season 3: another recent time he mentioned the concept of being “free,” it’s in reference to couples who are married and are given more leeway by society to then do as they like as a unit; Henry Granville and his wife were also an original example of that with their arrangement that allowed them to explore their queerness with other people. Add onto that how Benedict speaks of love in season 3 more than once conceptually – how it’s not finite, and how he has an abundance of it to give. He even briefly fantasizes about how he, Tilley, and Paul would explain themselves in public. That goes beyond the simplicity of a man who just wants to have fun or doesn’t want to be serious. Why should all of that disappear because… what, he suddenly meets a woman who rewrites his brain chemistry? Let him truly "be bold"! Let him commit to someone he loves more than anyone else, and then let him have the passion and room in his heart to enjoy an abundance of love and fun and freedom with others too!

-DO YOU SEE THE PICTURE I’M PAINTING?

-Toss onto that the rough idea that Sophie’s very existence and their relationship will be “rule-breaking” on principle already, right? She’s an illegitimate child, she may or may not have a role as maid a la Cinderella, she’s (from what little I understand) not a traditional or “fit” match and all that other bullshit. It lends itself to the idea that Sophie won’t think much of rules herself either and will possibly inspire further bold courage in Benedict. And if they’ll eventually already be breaking rules by being together, why not add on some more? Or, counterpoint: if this version of Benedict wouldn’t find much pause in the breaking of those basic sorts of rules, what other breaking of rules could maybe require courage or introduce conflict / angst / miscommunication in their relationship? Yeah, there’s gonna be the whole “I must find this person who bewitched me at a masquerade ball! Who can she be!” element in the plot I’m sure but… we’ve all seen that before. Let’s branch out a little bit here, people. Let’s dream bigger. Let’s spice it up with some down-the-line “I feel immense guilt because I’m in love with you but I still find other people hot and I crave a freedom I don’t know how to articulate, and it’s definitely not a temptation to cheat but it’s a feeling within me nonetheless, and it’s clearly not something my tunnel-vision wife-guy brothers experience” or whatever.

-Anyway. Here’s the last thought I’ve got (for now). Concept: don’t ask me how, but within the Cinderella-esque / hidden identities plots, let Sophie cross dress as a boy at some point. Let Benedict not know it’s her. Let Benedict still be attracted to her anyway. PULL A MULAN IN THIS BITCH.

-Okay. That’s it.

-Who knows? Maybe this show will give Benedict just his straightforward romance with Sophie and then they’ll explore polyamory for the 2 of them later as a side plot in another season. But eh, I don’t think it would do it justice. I do think they could pull it off in a season centric to him while keeping both romance and queerness front and center. I do think it’s possible!

-Remember… This is part pitch and part prophecy.

-I have a vision. I’ve foreseen it. Benedict and Sophie, bisexual polyamorous couple who are deeply in love and also like to invite a third into their bed together on occasion. (Or maybe they like to even have their own individual trysts that they then get to go home and tell each other about while having sex with each other.)

-I genuinely think it makes the most sense. They put all that shit in the show that I referenced above, not me. I may be insane, but this really isn’t a shitpost, alright? I argued my case.

-Thank you for your time.

-PS Yes, I am indeed aware that I'm under-qualified to have an opinion here. Don't tear me to shreds. This is how I have fun.

[koi-fish-boy]

‼️🚨Camp Cretaceous Chaos Theory Spoilers 🚨‼️

I'm gonna go into depth about my The Handler theory here under the cut >:3

Ok, I've mentioned before I think she was raised with the atrocaraptors. She shares a bond with them we don't see with anyone but with Ben and Bumpy, who did grow up together. I believe that The Handler was used as a sort of experiment to see different ways to train dinosaurs to obey human command. If she were raised with them, then they would see humans as more than just prey, but potentially another pack member. If The Handler was raised with the pack then the pack would see her as another atrocaraptor, just a weird lookin one. It would work especially well if The Handler proved her dominance to the pack and became their leader, gaining the ability to have them follow commands easier.

After The Handler proved her dominance to the pack, the whistle training would likely have started. Getting them to follow commands like that would have been hard normally, but because it's a pack member they know to respect and value as one of them that difficulty is lessened. That also gives us a reasoning for some of her odd behaviors, such as her wide unblinking eyes. Being raised with creatures that blink in a way she cannot would bring her to either blinking very little or not blinking at all. She is not able to replicate their mannerism, and she wouldn't have had another human to have learned that mannerism from.

There's a few holes in this theory though. Such as her speaking English. If she was raised by raptors she wouldn't have learned English, or any human language. She would understand the raptors speech and be able to replicate it. She speaks raptornese (credit to THE raptorladylover6969 for raptornese) not human language.

I do believe she is older than the camp kids, not by significantly much. If the camp kids are in their early 20s than she's in her mid 20s, maybe getting into her late 20s. Shes a few years older than them. By the time The Handler proved her dominance to them (likely later in her life. Shes vastly different from them so it would be a challenge to prove she's not the weakest.) she would have been past the point where children pick up languages easiest, meaning learning English would be harder. And the further she strays from the raptor upbringing and the closer she gets to acting human the less of an effect she will have on the raptors.

But this could have been similar to something Owen did with his raptors. But also the more exposed to humans she was, the less likley she was to believe the raptors were her family and truly connect to them. It would be more like they were freinds instead of family. But if she were raised by raptors solely with no human connection she would likely have turned out more feral, much less human as we see her today. But that could be tweaked depending on how early or late she started being exposed to humans. Clearly she's been around them for a few years, I'm assuming since around her late teens. This would give her time to learn English and be a bit more human while also having the familial relationship with the raptors.

There's a predicament with this. The later she's introduced to humans the less likely she is to have the raptors no longer see her as their leader, but also the harder it woild be to integrate with society and be as human as we see her on screen. the earlier shes introduced the mkre time she would have to integrate with society but more likely the raptors wouldn't see her as much of a leader anymore. (I'm not an expert in animals, or animal behavior so I could be completely wrong. All i know is like 2 facts about Kiwis ok.)

There's also the whistle training. The younger the raptors are the better for training, but the younger that they get trained The Handler likely wouldnt be as much as a leader in their eyes as she would be given more time, and the more likely she would be to not see herself as one of her pack. (I don't know shit about phycology please like correct me on shit I'm wrong I'm just tapping here yk)

Another thing brought up by @raptorladylover6969 is her demeanor. She seems like she's gone through something traumatic that flipped something in her and gave her that permanently shell shocked look. The blinking thing I mentioned earlier could help explain some of it, but the really wide eyes dont havw much of an explanation. Growing up with predators would make one on edge, especially as children they would have fought over food and such and in general to prove who's on top and get stronger and such yk. Doing that with apex predators with claws the size of your hand would make one a bit shaken, and paranoid. Especially if you're weaker and fleshier with duller teeth and too flat of claws.

Also the diet. Being raised with carnivores would mean she would also have a carnivorous diet, yet there's stuff needed for the human body that you cannot get at all or enough of through solely eating meat. Especially raw meat. Humans are not built to eat raw meat. We have 4 sharp incisors and 4 square teeth to help tear into meat, and our esophagus is not built for eating like carnivores. They don't really chew their food. Their esophagus is flexible and wide enough for them to tear and swallow. Humans have molars to crush our food into mush and paste for us to eat. Meaning it would take longer for The Handler to eat than her sisters, making her an easier target for stealing food and fighting because shes weaker. Also limiting her chances of survival

Tbh I can't think of anything else to yap about rn but I will think about it later and I will write and equally longer post about it because I'm just that cool 😎

[morningstargirl666]

WIP WEDNESDAY THURSDAY

I swear, I intended to get something done for wednesday but it never really works that way (don't come at me y'all). Also, since I'm rewriting tbbw at the mo, it's kinda the only wip I'm working on so most of the edits are focused around the siblings - not the klaroline.

However! Made some changes to one of the scenes where Klaus broods over Caroline and here we are, on this rare occasion, to see some of the changes I've made. Spoilers under the cut:

“You are in such a foul mood today.”

Klaus made a noise that might have been a growl. “If you hadn’t noticed, Esther is still out there no doubt plotting another way to kill me and my family. Not to mention my siblings are still bound together making us more vulnerable than ever. And now-” he ground out, hissing the words through his teeth, “I find out that a white oak of the same line as the tree that made us vampires might be out there somewhere in the world, waiting to be used to kill us.” Klaus glared dangerously at Sam, lip curled as he turned around to stare instead at the fire. “My mood is perfectly appropriate.”

“So…” Sam took another bite of his apple, slowly raising it to his mouth, eyes on Klaus, who was watching the sketches become devoured by flames, a brooding hand resting under his chin. As Sam chewed, he gestured to the fireplace with the apple core. “It has nothing to do with why you’re burning sketches of one Caroline Forbes?” he asked, perfectly innocent.

“I’m burning them because she means nothing to me,” he ground out through gritted teeth, refusing to turn and deign Sam with a glance. “She was a passing fancy, nothing more.”

Sam titled his head, squinting. “The wolf didn’t seem to think that.”

“My wolf is clearly defective,” Klaus spat, throwing a hand out, abandoning his attempt at a calm, contemplative stance.

“If you say so,” Sam muttered with raised brows, deliberately not looking at Klaus and instead focusing on his phone as he munched on his apple.

Klaus shook his head, glaring into the flames as he watched the sketches burn. Sam’s silence gnawed at him, making him twitch with the urge to explain himself.

It wasn’t long before he did. 

“I knew Esther was planning something, I knew she would betray us and I did nothing because I was distracted by a girl that leapt at the chance to attack my family the second opportunity arose,” he burst out, whirling on Sam. Mouth halfway to his apple, Sam froze, rather wide-eyed. Klaus continued on regardless, his words growing more vicious, poisoned with such vitriol, his lips curled into a snarl. “Kol got daggered because of her! The Salvatores nearly killed you - because of her,” he spat, emphasised with a pointed jab to the floor. Sam lowered his apple, cowered by the wild look in Klaus’ eye. The man in question laughed, a short huff of bitterness, gesturing to Sam angrily, inviting him to prove him wrong. “So please, tell me why I should entertain this infatuation any longer? When it has proved to be dangerous not only to my own sanity but also to the safety of this family.”

Sam didn’t say anything for a long moment, his appetite completely forgotten. Then, slowly, he looked up at Klaus, a certain defiance in his eye.

“She knew about the champagne, Nik,” he said softly. Immediately, the anger, the readiness for a fight - it all drained away, leaving Klaus feeling wrong-footed in the face of Sam’s pointed truths. “Granted, she didn’t know what spell was in the champagne; didn’t know you weren’t linked to your siblings… but she knew you hadn’t drunk it. And she didn’t tell her friends.” Sam smiled sadly, shrugging helplessly. “Maybe it is stupid. Maybe it is a mistake. But if it was me? Personally, I’d want to know why she didn’t betray you as much as you’d like to believe.”

Klaus forced himself to swallow. He quickly looked away, unable to keep looking at the expression on Sam’s face that seemed to see through him entirely, his words resonating loudly inside his mind. Heaving a sigh, Sam stood, throwing the apple core into the nearest wastebasket. He hesitated before leaving the room, gaze softening on Klaus, sympathy in his eyes. 

“Just because your parents didn’t love you, doesn’t mean no one else will,” he said. 

Then Sam left, not allowing him time to respond. Klaus glared at his back, hands clenched so hard his knuckles turned white. 

“Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness,” he ground out, calling after him.

Sam stopped in his tracks, slightly turning his head back towards Klaus. Then he smiled, and with one sentence, shattered a belief Klaus had closely courted for centuries. 

“Good thing you’re not a vampire then, isn’t it?”

And with that parting remark, Sam turned with a smirk and left the room, leaving Klaus wide-eyed, forced to contemplate over what he had said. In the dancing flames of the hearth, the sketches Klaus had thrown into the fire continued to burn, flames licking at their edges and crawling across the lines of charcoal and pencil, leaving nothing but ash behind. He looked down at the last sketch of Caroline he’d drawn: the first moment she stepped into his studio, eyes wide with awe as she craned her head to look up at the paintings hung around on the walls. Fingers reverently skimming over her face, he gently tugged the paper from the pad but didn’t throw it into the flames like the others, placing his sketchbook aside on the mantel almost with half a mind. Then, careful not to damage the soft lines of Caroline’s features, he folded the sketch tentatively in two and slipped it into his back pocket.

He told himself he would burn it later. He didn’t.

[donkeys-waffles]

(WARNING SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 425.)

Just casually thinking about how "Creep" from Radiohead is so AFO and Izuku coded. Just separately, both characters emulate the feelings behind this song. "Creep" is a very self-deprecating song, with deep devotion to another person, referring to this other person as an angel, as something that is 'perfect' in comparison to how they refer to themselves as a 'creep'.

This part I'll be talking about Izuku, next I'll talk about AFO.

We've seen the discrimination Izuku has experienced from being quirkless, the isolation, neglect, verbal and physical abuse.

He mentions that this was the moment he realized that not all people are created equal. It speaks volumes of his character and how he views himself, like he's the main problem of this equation. As if in some way it's his fault for being born without a quirk so it's natural for others to treat him with discrimination. There's not enough righteous fury in this recap.

Everyone, every important figure in his life has told him to be realistic, his mother apologized for him being quirkless as if it was a disease, (I love both her and All Might don't get me wrong here, I can understand their reasonings, but that doesn't take away the impact of what was said.) and both his childhood friend and idol crushed his dreams.

It reminds me of these lyrics from "Creep"

"I wish I was special You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here"

I also wanna add this fun little tidbit for the "But I'm a creep," section,

So many times has his mumbling been a source of discomfort for people, so much so that Bakugou felt the need to have an outburst each time he did it in the beginning of the manga. Makes it even funnier knowing it's about quirks.

The last two lines remind me a lot of Izuku's mentality in the early chapters, during the sports festival and the first appearance of the League of Villains we see a lot of Izuku feeling completely useless. We also see Izuku degrading his own accomplishments, giving the credit to All Might, Gran Torino, or his other classmates. Despite, him earning OFA because of his heroic spirit he views himself as a burden.

I feel like the line "I don't belong here" is emulated in so many ways, you can easily argue that his vigilante arch could emulate this, but I really think that his resolve for being quirkless again is what takes the cake for me.

Of course, he's not too heartbroken by it if he never felt he deserved it anyway. He always viewed it as a gift (not something he earned the right to), we see this with Shigaraki and even Aoyama. That's his line of empathy with them, he views himself as fortunate to be given the opportunity he has, while they suffered a worse fate by hands that wanted to use them. Here are some other honorable mentions when it comes to this idea. (Even though Izuku isn't very lucky either, he's also been used as a weapon in two wars at 16 but that's beside the point.)

And many, many others really, let's be honest. It's one of the first things I noticed about Izuku's character that I feel never truly got resolved.

"I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul I want you to notice When I'm not around"

The first two lines emulate a lot of Izuku's lack of self-preservation.

The first picture illustrates the sacrifices he's made saving others despite it shattering his bones. The second is him grabbing Tomura's hands despite decay and losing his arms.

Lines 3 and 4, as well as

"You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world"

Emulates how he views All Might and Bakugou throughout the manga,

All Might is always shown as this unstoppable force for a big chunk of the manga, we can see it in the season 1 anime opening when All Might is standing with his back to Izuku, a light silhouetting him with Izuku reaching his hand out to him. As if he's this unattainable picture of heroism, furthering the lyrics of "I don't belong here," "You're just like an angel" and "You're so fucking special."

Now for Bakugou, which my main examples come from early in the manga of course.

"As you've said, I had nothing going for me."

"I could admire All Might from a distance, but you were right there. This amazing person in my life."

I think this just illustrates my point. He considered them both pillars of strength. (I wouldn't say that has changed with All Might despite him being retired, even though All Might is admired, and cherished, now he's viewed as more human. Which is so sweet.)

"I want you to notice me when I'm not around"

Is also, very Izuku coded, considering his history with being bullied. Looking back to the beginning of my spiel, we see a lot of bullying taking place in the classroom with teachers that could've reported Bakugou's aggressive behavior. A lot of adults failed Izuku, they turned a blind eye to the obvious abuse happening right in front of them. And that's made even worse if you consider whether Inko knew of the abuse herself. There was negligence in the system on Izuku's behalf, that's made clear. Also considering his first friends (in a decade,), and his extreme anxiety surrounding Ochako and Iida when he first met them. But it also makes me think of this recent panel

It really hurts looking at these panels, because he's clearing wanting to talk with them and they're brushing him off. He wants to be noticed here, he wants to reach out to them and have friends to confide in. And Ochako just talks about his hair and brushes him off, while Todoroki does the same thing.

It just makes me sad considering his history, he probably thinks it's because he's going to be quirkless again. And the saddest thing is Izuku wouldn't blame them, he wouldn't feel the anger he's entitled to, because again I don't believe he feels deserving of living the dream he had. With it all disappearing with his quirk feels natural to him when it shouldn't. Bringing us back the beginning of this self-deprecating song and cycle in Izuku's life.

[the-chat-who-got-the-cream]

i was gonna tack this on at this end of the last post but thought it deserves it’s own post 💀 because AINT NO WAY ADRIEN DOESNT QUESTION THIS MAN ASNJDILHASJKLE

Bonus:

[egophiliac]

Serious question.

Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???

Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….

Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.

I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)

Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?

I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)

but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!

characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.