#did skype shit the bed again

[readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure]

Hi!! P, 13 for Billy! Angsty but with a happy ending, please! Thank you!

Here you go, anon. 💕

This one is set while Billy is still a Marine.

P. Fighting/almost breaking up 13. 'What happened to us?'

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It all started with a really shit day. One of those days where everything that could go wrong did go wrong and all you wanted to do was to crawl into bed with your boyfriend and have him hold you for a while.

But you couldn’t. Because your boyfriend was thousands of miles away, in a desert somewhere in Afghanistan.

So, when you logged on to your scheduled Skype call, your mood was already dismal.

Usually getting to see Billy in any way you could was enough to brighten your mood, but today the low-quality picture and clunky signal just served as an unwelcome reminder of how he wasn’t there with you.

You needed him, and he wasn’t there. Just like he hadn’t been there all the other days you had needed him over the past several months. And all the months of his last two tours.

You were immensely proud of him for his service and would never ask him to quit the Marines for you… but it was hard being left behind. It was lonely.

In retrospect, you should have sent him an email and rescheduled your Skype call, claiming to be sick or something. But you had thought you could power through. You had thought that Billy would make you feel better.

You had thought wrong.

He had quickly noticed your sour mood, which only made his own mood sour in turn, and soon you found yourself in a heated fight while Skype kept freezing on your angry expressions.

‘Is it too much to want to enjoy this time together?’ said Billy in an angry whisper. He didn’t have the luxury of yelling, something that satisfied your petty side. ‘After all the shit that goes on here, I think I deserve a break and a chance to chat with my girl.’

‘We’re not together, Billy,’ you reminded him. ‘We’re on whole different continents. I love you and I’m proud of you, but you can’t expect me to always be okay with that.’

‘You’ve never had trouble before.’

You let out a bark of disbelieving laughter. ‘I’ve never let you see it before,’ you corrected. ‘I can’t count how many times I have cried myself to sleep because I missed having you next to me. Every Valentine’s Day and birthday and Christmas. Every shitty day that would have been made better with just one hug from you.’

‘That’s not my fault,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘I had already signed up when we got together. You knew what you were getting into.’

‘So I’m not allowed to miss you?’

‘No.’

You stared at the screen in shock. That had not been the answer you had been expecting.

Billy seemed to realise his mistake straight away, and he groaned as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. ‘That’s not what I… Look, my tour is over in a few weeks. Then none of this will matter.’

‘Unless the tour gets extended like the last one.’

Unless you don’t come home at all, you didn’t say.

‘Then we’ll just have to deal with it,’ he sighed. Something caught his attention and his gaze drifted to above the camera. He let out an annoyed growl and then looked back to the screen. ‘I gotta go. People are waiting to use the computers.’

You nodded, knowing that there was nothing you could do about it. You weren’t going to deny other people the chance to talk to their loved ones just because you and Billy were fighting.

‘I… I’ll see you soon.’

When the call ended, you finally let the tears fall down your cheeks.

----

Billy didn’t get the chance for another Skype call after that, and the only communication you had was emails which were kept short and succinct.

Only a few more weeks to go. I know.

Mission went well. I’m glad.

Got overlooked for the promotion again. I’m sorry.

Frank says hi. Hi Frank.

What happened to us?

That last message went unanswered.

But you would get your answer soon enough you supposed. By some miracle, Billy’s tour hadn’t been extended, and he was probably already on his flight home.

The thought made you equal parts happy and scared. You had missed him so much and couldn’t wait to see his face in person again… but what if this fight was not something you could both get past? What if the next time you saw him was also the last time?

It was those thoughts that had you stress-cleaning, and you were just about done with the kitchen when someone knocked on your front door. You almost ignored them but decided better of it when they knocked again.

‘All right, I’m coming,’ you grumbled as you made your way to the door.

Your annoyance disappeared the second you opened it.

There, on your doorstep, was Billy, dressed in a suit and holding his duffle bag in one hand and flowers in the other.

‘Why didn’t you use your key?’ you asked dumbly before you shook yourself out of it and stepped aside to let him in.

He gave you a small smile as he passed you. You caught a whiff of his cologne as he did, and your mind finally caught up with the fact that he was really there in front of you.

He was home.

Billy put his bag on the floor near the wall and then turned back to hold out the flowers to you.

You took them silently, and then immediately chucked them away as you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ you cried into his shoulder. You could deal with the fight and the distant emails and the unanswered questions later. Right now, all that mattered was that he had made it home again. ‘I’m so glad you’re home.’

Billy’s arms wrapped around you, making you cry harder. ‘Me too, baby,’ he whispered, and he pressed a kiss to your temple. ‘It’s so good be back for good.’

That had you pulling away, but Billy didn’t let you get very far. He only gave you just enough room to be able to look up at him. ‘For good?’ you asked, hope welling in your chest.

Billy nodded and reached up to wipe the drying tears from your cheeks. ‘I’ve finally got enough saved up to get out. I’ve been emailing the bank, and I think I can get a small loan to set up Anvil at last.’

Anvil had been his dream for a while now, but you hadn’t realised it had been so close.

Your smile could have rivalled the sun at that moment. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ you said.

You wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, maybe drag him straight to the bedroom, but the fight still lingered at the back of your mind, telling you that he might not want that.

Something must have shown in your eyes, because Billy suddenly cupped your cheeks and crashed his lips to yours, dispelling every one of your doubts.

You would get past it. You were going to be okay.

You clung to the collar of his shirt like it was a lifeline, even after the kiss ended.

‘I’m not leaving you ever again,’ he said, voice suddenly more serious than you’d ever heard it. ‘No more missed birthdays or holidays.’

You shook your head, feeling silly for the things you’d said all those weeks ago.

‘I’m sor-’

Billy cut off your apology with another kiss, this one less impassioned and more tender.

More loving.

‘Me too,’ he whispered once he had pulled away again. He rested his forehead against yours, and you both closed your eyes, relishing in the fact that you were both together.

You were both still together.

‘You asked what happened to us,’ he said. ‘The way I see it, the only thing that happened is we became stronger than before. Because now we know we can get through anything.’

Tears pricked at your eyes again, but you didn’t let them fall.

You couldn’t agree with him more.

[themculibrary]

Airport/Airplane Masterlist

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Summary: Loki's stuck in a frustrating situation in a frustrating place. Messaging his friends is of little comfort, but he does have the minor fortune of sitting across from an attractive stranger in the airport terminal. No one else will know if Loki goes a little overboard on his fantasy, right?

Crash Landing (The Mile High Club Remix) (ao3) - wynnesome steve/tony E, 6k

Summary: Steve wants to join the mile high club, so he and Tony take Tony's new jet prototype for a private test flight. An alien craft crashes their private party. Steve goes down -- and not in the sexy way.

Flying (ao3) - PinkPandorafrog darcy/thor, background darcy/tony E, 3k

Summary: Darcy needs to fly to Sweden to offer Jane a job. She doesn't go alone, of course, but Thor doesn't exactly feel comfortable flying in a jet. Distraction? Distraction.

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Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man stuck in an airport, in possession of an iPhone, must open Tinder.

got a whole lot of history (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor G, 600

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Hate doesn't even describe it (ao3) - elcapitan_rogers steve/natasha E, 153k

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if only in my dreams (ao3) - MusicalLuna T, 3k

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It's The Snow (ao3) - postmodernmulticoloredcloak steve/bucky E, 44k

Summary: A snow storm, cancelled flights, one last vacant hotel room, only one bed in the room. Steve Rogers is forced to share the space with the one coworker he cannot stand - unsufferable, presumptuous Bucky Barnes, who very much reciprocates Steve's loathing. He expects to have a terrible time. But sometimes things don't turn out like you expect them to, people are not what you think they are, and there's always something to learn about intimacy, pleasure and love.


Stranded (ao3) - imafriendlydalek thomas hammond/steve E, 59k

Summary: TJ and Steve. Two strangers, unaware of the other's full identity, snowed in for a one-night stand. It was supposed to be easy. Complication-free.

But when has that ever worked for either of them?

They meet again, and their attraction is as undeniable as their mutual fame. With the Mandarin making trouble and neither looking to make waves, complicated is all they've got left. Is it enough?

That Time Peter & MJ Got Caught in a Public Restroom (ao3) - Machiavelien mj/peter T, 2k

Summary: While their class waits for their checked luggage at the airport after FFH, Peter and MJ sneak off to enjoy their new relationship and get caught in the act.

Unclaimed Baggage (ao3) - imafriendlydalek bucky/tony E, 9k

Summary: Tony Stark was not made for flying commercial. What the heck did his luggage look like?!

Luckily a friendly stranger is willing to help him find his bag (after Tony almost takes his). Tony repays the favor with coffee. A few misunderstandings and some fun at the hotel ensues.

While you were Skyping (ao3) - Emyrldlady clint/phil T, 12k

Summary: It's a cliche wrapped up in a trope. Meet by chance, be my fake boyfriend, maybe fall in love when you're not looking.

Z to A (ao3) - memoriaeterna wanda/vision, pepper/tony T, 88k

Summary: The moment of disorientation was nothing compared to the next thing he saw. He was standing in the midst of an airport, looking directly at a girl with the familiar red leather coat. The mutual recognition was instant. Leipzig. Or, Peter and Wanda sent back in time to stop the inevitable. Good news: they are not alone. Bad news: who and from when.

[unsettlingcreature]

*raises my hand* what's the story of the bean burrito girl?

oh god ok so this is a long one with a lot of stupid details. I need it to be known I was 18 and incredibly dense when it came to flirting (still am tbh, you gotta hit me with it like a truck).

it was december. I was hanging out with some friends and since some of them had an hour-long train ride to get home, we usually tried to squeeze as much time out as possible so it's also like 7pm and we are upstairs in the burger king that is no longer there.

the only other group of people there are a group of cosplayers. we're all kind of looking at them and I'm realising now, that my friends were viewing them as cringe whereas I was just curious. one of them, our deuteragonist for this story, was wearing a meulin leijon cosplay. me, a filthy little homestuck, wanted to make friends so I went over to the group and introduced myself, specifically walking up to the meulin cosplayer and saying how I loved her cosplay.

they were all really chill and when my friends said they were going to walk to the train station, I said I'd stay at the BK with these new people and speak to them on skype tomorrow like usual. eventually, the group I'm with starts to also start heading home. but the meulin cosplayer asks if I want to go get a drink and I awkwardly admit I don't have my ID on me. she says it's ok, she could buy a few bottles of drink and we could find somewhere to sit.

EXCEPT ITS FUCKIN DECEMBER AND NEITHER OF US ARE DRESSED TO SIT OUTSIDE AND DRINK AT NIGHT??? at first we try to stand by the heaters in the christmas market but get kicked out because the drinks we had weren't bought from the market itself. then we go to the arcade and sit at the back and get kicked out after about 30 minutes because we're not playing anything. eventually, we end up in a cineworld swapping a bottle of smirnoff ice back and forth.

we finish the drinks and she says how her parents are currently away so I could come over to her house for the night. now, I didn't realise what this implied. I just thought she was being friendly and wanted a sleepover. but I said no, I'd have to go home because my mum was expecting me to come back. BUT we make plans to meet up again for proper drinks next time.

next meet up for drinks, she asks if I've eaten yet and I say that I had but if she's hungry, we could go somewhere. we go to the newly opened taco bell where she orders three bean burritos. I remember this very clearly. she was a little self-conscious about it and I was like, nah, if you're hungry, get them!

we then go to my favourite pub and start drinking. at the time I was still IDing as purely a trans guy and was binding that night but at after a certain amount of drinks, I would always be like Fuck This so I took it off in the bathroom. immediately upon getting back, she is like "I'm so sorry but you have great tits" and I'm like um ok! thanks I guess?

she again says that I can come over to her house, her parents are still not back and she amps up her flirting, probably realising I'm dense as shit, and starts telling me about her collection of sex toys she has. and all along I'm just like haha neat! yeah, I only really have one vibrator, these are normal conversations to have with a new platonic friend! we finish the drinks for the night and I go home, again saying thanks for the sleepover offer but I'm going to just go to sleep in my bed. sorry, I can't bring you with you because my mum and nanna would be pissed. let's meet up again some time!

now, after trying her best to shoot her shot twice, she did not reply to any of my messages afterwards. I think she realised I was too stupid. but I was telling my friend about what happened and all of them were yelling at me that I was stupid and she was flirting/trying to get with me. and me, foolish little me, STILL TRIED INSISTING IT WAS JUST FRIENDLY? good god I was a bit of a dumbass. still am tbh.

sorry random american girl in england that thought you had a chance, if i had realised what was going on it might have been different but knowing how traumatised i was back then, probably it was for the best ✌

[calypsoff2]

Eighty Seven.

I was up all night, not because of Junior anyways, he was knocked out asleep and weird enough didn’t even wake up like he does, putting a nipple in his mouth really is a blessing because then I don’t have to get out of bed. But just thinking about Chris and I, thinking about everything. From the point of when we first met, to when we met again, to when we got married. Thinking about all the good, the bad, the straight ugly. Just thinking about it all. Because my decision is my decision not anyone else’s, not my team, not anyone’s. Thinking about the future too, Chris himself as an artist this is it, this bad press has put Chris on top already, people love bad press, and it sells. His video that leaked and got that bitch in, it’s done so well. Jay spoke to me about it, and he said he’s so likeable, people are upset about the beings of what happened but if he’s driving songs like this it can be overlooked, and I don’t want Roc Nation to push him off, like they were wanting to do. It’s me that contacted both Jay’ and said no, we not doing that. We not playing on someone’s career because he’s an idiot, ok he did what he did, but he did it to me. And that is what they got to get, I’m the hurt one. I don’t want Chris to feel like he’s had another flop career, things fall every time for him, I don’t want that, it’s rising, and I want that for him. But it was me, I did that because I’m not evil, I could have said leave him on his ass but for what, no purpose in that. But just thinking of us, minus the kids but us. I love him to every bone in me and I really do because if I didn’t like the rest of the men I would have left him for his mouth alone, he can be unbearable with it, but I know he is a good man. He does love me, he’s a good dad but he loves to massage his own ego too and it’s hard because I wouldn’t be happy with my own daughter to stay, I mean love can come in all different ways, right now I have the upper hand like he says but when I don’t then what, what happens on tour. So many things to just think on, and it’s a big decision because I can’t keep doing this for the rest of my marriage and him saying he won’t do it again, he was thinking on his dick and his ego. The fact he knows he can get girls and then say actually no I don’t want you, how crazy is that. It’s manipulative too, he needed someone to show him that you can’t do that, and you will get shamed and to this moment there is things coming out, he talks so much.

Watching Melody walk off “oh bye girl, you love your auntie don’t you” she just left me hanging on skype “she is like bye girl I got people to meet and people to see, and the way she waved at you too” Mel laughed out “I know, she gets that sassy shit from Rylee, she been hanging with Rylee too much. Remember on tour Rylee would do the same? She would wave at people and run off like bye girl” Mel giggled “oh god, she was so cute. She used to say bye girl, ran off with her feet hitting the floor so hard” I giggled “I miss Rylee being that tiny, my baby. My first baby, anyways. How Barbados, the family?” I asked “great, I mean over here is always good. It’s your side where the issue is” rolling my eyes “well today is the day of the talk” Mel gasped “oh dear god, have you decided on what you want to do or is it still up in the air?” she asked but she has been asking on what I want to do with my marriage “erm I am keeping that close to my chest still, I don’t want anyone’s opinion besides my own and his, I think it’s best off that way. I didn’t even sleep all night; I have been thinking. I have been thinking when we first met, when we reconnected again. The ups and downs, it kept me up. But I think I am going to let Chris decide, let him decide his own fate. You know how Chris is, I won’t decide until then. I need to hear him, I need to hear how he is feeling, what he is feeling and if it’s no good then you know” I laughed “mhmm yeah, let’s hope it’s not that but I have seen how Chris can be, but I am hoping for the best, whatever is best for you” smiling at her lightly “thank you, I want to keep in house but Chris just likes to promote everything, you see how Nury is still speaking? I am angered and it’s his fault” and he wants me to hear him out.

Coming out of the bathroom, I had a shower. I needed to relax, I needed to just calm my nerves. It’s a big thing, I know that Chris and I can volatile, if I don’t like what I am hearing with Chris I will bite, he will then bite so then it turns into an argument, I don’t know. I am just nervous; I want what is best for me anyways “Jesus!” I spat and stepped back seeing Chris in the bedroom with Junior “sorry he was crying; I didn’t know what to do so I just you know came into the room” tightening my towel around my body “well he isn’t crying now; you can take him down. You didn’t need to wait” I said “really? You might have thought someone have taken him” Chris looked down at my legs “my eyes are upwards thanks; well you can take him down. He seems to be ok with you now” I think the aquarium helped “yeah” he dragged off “don’t worry, I will put you out of your misery” walking off “what you mean by that?” he asked “we will have our discussion” looking over my shoulder “today” I added “see what happens” walking off into the walk in closet, Chris is very much self-loathing when it should be me, I should be upset, I should be crying. I should be upset but here we are with him looking at me all sad, but we shall see what happens, he may not like half of the things I say. It may piss him off, but we can get to the bottom of his shit I guess, he needs to hear how I feel because right now it’s the Chris Brown show.

Making my way down the stairs I need the kids to leave the house so I once again get Jen to come over, I can hear her downstairs, she’s always the comedian “mom, mom, mom can I go North house, please!” She pleaded with me “I don’t want to go with auntie, I go there” clearing my throat “ok baby, you can go there. Does Tianna want to go too?” I asked as I made my way into the living room “I don’t know” looking at Tianna “you want to go to North house too with Rylee? Or go with Auntie” Tianna is busy making a mess of Imani’ hair; I think she is trying to sort it out “erm auntie because Rylee told me that I can’t go with her” looking at Rylee “she totally lied mom” I would like to punish her but then again I don’t have the time “you know what, you can go. Herb can you drop her off when you go?” He got up from the couch “I’m getting up now, I got some shit to do, come on trouble. So I’m going to Kim’ home? Like does she open the door herself?” I laughed “you would be shocked how much she is so active in her own home; she will open the door just make sure she goes inside and that someone will come to pick her later” Herb grinned “am I invited to the home? Man, I want to play with the momma” hitting his arm “be quiet, right who is next. Ti, what are you doing to her hair?” Imani is so calm about it “fixing it” of course she is “kids” I looked at Jen “this is why I left mine at home, but I missed my little angels so much, so I came to see you, and get some ice cream” Jen is a real help “better than going to North house” here Tianna goes “you and Rylee arguing again?” Sitting down next to Jen “a little, she’s just wanting to be her own boss but in New York she’s all quiet” waving Imani over so I can fix her hair “I think Cali is her place, she feels this is home but you two need to stick together. Remember what your dad said” Chris’ head poked up, Jen snorted laughing “Chris’ head nearly popped off, you good over there?” He is quiet “uh yeah yeah; just she said my name. I got a little nervous there, you know” he laughed “well” Jen laughed “you like being a mess don’t you baby” Imani climbed on my lap “it’s nice” pouring my lips “is it? Or are you lying?” She shrugged “I am so proud of you Imani; you really are the light of the family. I love how happy you always are, mommy loves you sooo much” she blew kisses to me “I love me too” I busted out laughing “I love your vibe” pressing a kiss to her cheek “mommy, can you sing again please” I groaned out “let mommy rest” she shook her head “yes Imani, get on her ass for this!!” Jen spat; my kids are turning on me “what song shall I sing? Just one” Imani paused thinking “what’s my name!” She yelped out “it’s really not a good song though” Tianna said, “oh that’s fighting talk, what is yours?” I asked, “one hundred percent it’s Diamonds mom, Imani is boring” Imani mean mugged Tianna “you boring!” She shouted “hey; no shouting now, let’s do your hair. Then auntie can take you out” fixing Imani on my lap.

Home alone and with Chris, he’s been ever so quiet. Very standoff with things, he’s thinking and I pray for his sake he’s in the mood of wanting to speak sense, that he is sincere with his actions because he’s going to predict his own fate, I still don’t know what I am doing so he can salvage himself. I feel like because I’ve not let noise enter my mind, that I’ve tried to let my inner self think for myself, I feel so much stronger. After the tears there is always a stronger person, I’ve had my moment so now it’s time. Making my way to the living room, even Junior has gone with Jen, I don’t want him sidetracking us in this. Chris is sat forward on the couch, he is nervous and that is good because maybe he’s ready to talk, maybe he is ready to be apologetic “you want a drink?” I asked him “I’m getting one from the fridge?” He looked at me “uh no, I’m good” I really don’t want a drink but I’m just thinking “enjoy family time then?” I asked him “am I boring for you? I mean years into marriage and having the same pussy may get you down” he looked away from me “you about to be petty and I can’t be bothered, when you ready then we can talk” he doesn’t like me speaking on his behaviour then “sure Chris, you know this was going to happen. You think I’m just going to sit there and take the stupid things you do when I told you, I knew this would happen! From the moment you had sex with me that night and I really didn’t want it and you did it roughly, I knew it. You are so predictable and manipulative while you’re at it” Chris sighed out heavily “oh brother, ok Rihanna and I manipulated you. You’re the boss in this! You really on that stupid shit, and nobody told you to tense up Rihanna” now I’m Rihanna to him, walking off to the kitchen. Chris is on defence mode, and I am tired of breaking him down, I am so tired of doing it. Let me just take a moment, I need to think for a second.

Maybe I should sit down because standing up looks like I am ready to attack him, but I am angered by him ���do you want to talk and tell your side, or do you want me to speak?” I offered “you” he didn’t even wait a second, he knew straight away “ok” I mumbled “you know what upsets me the most, and I think when it all kicked off, when it all came out and it was happening in my face. When you got locked up, I got my team to get the video. I actually wasn’t thinking he was in the studio with her alone, I wasn’t even upset at that point about you potentially hitting her. But when I saw the video, the real footage and how your body language was, how you were smiling. Giggling, smirking. At that point you gave off so much, the video did it for me a lot and the interviews topped it off, but it hurt seeing it. Ok, you stopped her kissing you, but you were giving off so much vibe to a woman. A whole married man in the studio with the woman your wife told you about, I told you. I knew about her Chris; at that point you should have stopped but you didn’t” Chris had his head down the whole time “you literally said for me to do what I like but! I didn’t, I didn’t want it. She came to the studio, and yes I mean whatever we laughed. She is funny!” Chris half shouted “very funny that you ended up in jail? Alright Chris, you couldn’t even do that right, I had to get you out” I laughed “you’re still defending your actions! Don’t you see it? You think you’re so right in this, you’re just so dumb” let me just sit down “I don’t, I am sorry Robyn. I just know I fucked up, there isn’t anything I can do besides do this?” I pulled a face “defend your stupidity? So you think you did right? Tell me this” sitting down “not exactly but I didn’t want any sexual relations with her, I just wanted friendship” am I the joke, I have to laugh “by flirting? Am I a joke to you? You really fucking think in your small mind that I am stupid” now he is angering me “not really, I just said, I can’t defend my actions” now he can’t defend his actions, he is funny.

Taking in a deep breath “so after I told you that you can do what you like, what was your mindset?” I asked, I need to know “just keep my head down, that is all. I just want my family back. Christmas wasn’t the same, I was hurting Robyn. I missed my family, just seeing the kids on the skype call was a little too much for me. I cried, my mindset is and was to put my head down” staring at Chris “right, then what happened? She came into the studio, so what exactly was said from that moment, she walked in and what?” Chris licked his lips “the truth, you lie a lot and I know that from last time” from the look on his face, it’s like he wants to lie, probably doesn’t want to tell the truth “she bought me food, I said did Mrs Mateo make me food” I closed my eyes slowly and just looked down, the way he speaks to her, give me a break “she bought me Christmas food but I wasn’t going to eat it because of what happened and everything but I was appreciative” I sniggered “of course you were” I mumbled “well my wife didn’t do shit but throw me to the side and told me to cheat” it’s like he woke up a lion inside me “throw you to the side? Nigga they want me to get rid of you, my team wanted you gone from the moment India played a fucking part, me! I kept you! Are you serious right now, form the time you come into my headquarters and acted a dickhead, you always find a way to make me look stupid but I kept you, me! And you know what Chris, I meant it. I cried mostly because of the marriage really, stop the barrier because it’s making it worse for you” he clenched his jaw “so what else did you love birds speak on?” Chris licked his top lip “she was showing me some mark on her boob, I wasn’t interested as per say. She uhm” he stopped himself “she uhm what?” I asked “she asked why my ring is off but I forgot to put it back on when I was having a shower” that hurt a little “tell me the truth, you took it off yourself, because you was angry with me. So you did it, the truth Chris, I want it” he rubbed his hands together “yeah, like you always got the upper hand, and I am always the bad guy, I didn’t want nothing from these girls Robyn, I swear. Just you, I love you” he really took his ring off “you didn’t want anything from these girls but yet you took your ring off and gave Nury your number” looking away from him, these things just keep coming out.

“I literally warned you about this, like you knew this. You knew these girls just want to say they had sex with Rihanna husband, you know this but yet you went for that? Like you actively went out of your way to make sure you and Nury was interacting, so she sent you nudes? You never said, I didn’t see that in your phone?” he shook his head “I deleted it because it wasn’t right being in my phone so you right you wouldn’t have seen it” squinting my eyes at him “so you was deleting messages then?” he nodded his head in agreement “wow” I am speechless “I am glad you can be truthful, so what else have you said about our marriage because she is really adamant in saying you are unhappy with me, I mean wow. And now you’re sat here all sad, so what is it? It’s rather narcissistic to be this, what other messages did you delete? I want to know” he rubbed the back of his neck “I just said like things, you were mad with me, not getting any sex this time” so he says “but you came home just for your kids, you made out in those messages I was just a piece of shit, like you came home not to me, just for the kids, you were playing that girl and making out our marriage was shit, and that to me. It makes me feel like I didn’t really mean anything to you, like now you have the biggest barrier with me because you don’t want to break, you know you’re in the wrong but don’t want to take all the blame so let’s blame Nury, Chris. You need to open your eyes and see that your whole world is crumbling right now, and you’re on a thin line right now, you just refuse to see it. My privacy has been exposed by you, my sex life too. Like I don’t give you sex” I laughed “oh my god, and she is still speaking. You can’t even do that right!” I spat.

He has yet to even be sorry “why can’t you just say those words, you have yet to say sorry” staring at him “I did say sorry, you won’t accept shit!” he spat “because you don’t mean it Chris, you think I am just telling you off, I am just too much hard work. I am sick of hollering; I am sorry I can’t do this. If you can’t be grown, we have been through this so many times where I have to break you to make you think because you think you’re right” he literally thinks he is in the right, I can see it “what do you want from me? What do you want me to do after all this, what does Chris want?” let’s see what he says “for you to stop punishing me, I am really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get that far, I am sorry she is speaking on the things, but you can be like that with me. It’s ok when you talk to Mel about everything” he said “you have Herb! You fucked that up and upset him, but you went running back when things was falling for you” he is being dumb now “do you actually want me?” I asked him, I am confused “you know I do Robyn” he looked up at me “I don’t want you” his bottom lip slowly fell from the grip of his teeth “you ain’t ever going to get a man like me, that loves you for you, that deals with you. That did some shit niggas won’t do, niggas out there just want you for your name” raising an eyebrow “you’re getting uptight now, then speak up. Tell me what you want from me, what do you want me to do now you have told the world I am the most useless wife, and you never get sex, tell me! Speak!” he rubbed his face, he isn’t speaking “I should have had sex with her, with the way you are being” I really hate men, it just hit me “you are being unreal, like you really are. I said I am sorry, and you won’t accept that, you just love being dramatic” he is being spiteful, he wants to be spiteful “I ask again, what do you want from me?” he hasn’t really told me, besides just feeling sad about himself. I am not even going to break his wall, I think he needs to break it himself.

[purplesurveys]

1830

Describe your most recent purchase: I just replenished my Korean groceries – I restocked on chapaguri and bibimmyeon noodles and also got moksal and pork bulgogi so I can try cooking other meats at home besides my usual samgyupsal.

Did you enjoy the last movie you watched in theaters? The last thing I watched in full in the cinema was BTS' Busan concert when it had a worldwide premiere in like Feb last year. The first time I watched with friends; the second time I watched on my own.

If you make surveys, where’s the last place you saw a survey made by you on another person’s site? I've never made a survey. I don't think I'll be any good at crafting questions.

Do you take the subway train often (if your city has one)? We don't have that and our public transport is generally shit so you won't catch me in any of the trains that do exist.

What shoes did you wear today? Ivy Park sneakers since I needed to manage a branded event today.

Does your sibling have a significant other? As far as I know she doesn't. She had this...situationship...thing a few months ago but that's done.

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? No, but that's also because I haven't been invited to a wedding since 2007, when I was 9 years old.

How would you feel if a girl asked your boyfriend out for a drink? I don't have a boyfriend.

Do you live in an apartment or a house? House.

Do you use Skype? Nope. If I needed to video call with friends, we'd use Messenger. Facetime to a much lesser extent.

What do your flip flops look like? I have slides instead of flip flops, and they're a plain white pair of adidas ones.

Any idea what you want for your next birthday? I'll probably just treat my family out for either lunch or dinner. No big plans I think this year, as Angela is busy reviewing for her boards and I don't want to take her time by planning an out-of-town trip.

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? My phone definitely needs to be plugged in, it's hanging on at 2% right now hahaha.

What’s the name of your nearest grocery store? That would be SM.

What do you use to remove makeup? Water.

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? None of them, they all feel just like PR at this point. The big ones are almost always racist and favor men anyway so eh.

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? I need to go to bed at around 10 or 11, because I plan on waking up at around 7 AM tomorrow to start working. I didn't do any work last Friday and over the weekend, so I need to make up for it.

Do you think George Clooney is hot? Not really.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? Nope. I joined in giveaway contests, but not cover girl stuff altogether.

What colour is your keyboard? Black.

Do you keep the plastic/paper/whatever bags after you buy stuff? To quote the Tiktok trend, we're Filipino, of course we hoard paper and plastic bags for any and every purpose, including using them as Christmas gift packaging. Not sure if it's practiced in other cultures but we are definitely not opposed to gift-wrapping something like a mug in an Apple, Pandora, or LV paper bag hahaha.

Do you own any high waisted pants? Yes! I like how the high waist finish looks on me so majority of my jeans/pants are in that style.

Do you know anyone who has two different coloured eyes? Yes.

Do you wanna be a pirate or an elf? Maybe an elf? I'm scared of pirates lol.

Have you ever purchased anything online? Yes, it's how I prefer to purchase most things. I've been accomplishing my Christmas checklists entirely online since 2021.

Gold or silver accessories? Silver. 

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? Not to my face, at least.

Have you ever ridden an elephant? Once as a teenager. I don't want to do it again.

Are you a fan of acrylic nails? Sure.

[herionch1c]

I just want to say that I realize I have evolved in to a stronger person and the recovery is a lot of hard work and I still slip up every now in again but, you can do it. I was very deep in Ana and in a very un health relationship(with partner, friends, and family). I was young my mother encourage my eating disorder, encouraging me not eat and purge. She tricked and abused me, forcing me to stay in mentally and verbally abusive relationship because she was having an affair with my boyfriend. He had cheated on my with my best friend and my mother. He later in year manipulated into preform sexual favors and sexually assaulted many times. I’m not saying that I’m completely innocent bin anything but I feel that he took advantage of me, yes I could have been nicer, fought back, not given in but I did. And the man I was in love with for many years and still think back to on this day with much fondness was no better then other. He was abusive in every way. I thought he loved me so I forgave him for many year and seeing him in the new light truly pains me. I’m this very moment as I’m writing this I feel as if I’m going to throw up, like the air is being sucked out of me. He was 3yrs older than me and I was just 12-13 at the time I had already been groom and sexually abuse by my fathers friend as well as men online(kik, Skype, Omegle, ect.) so the attention and praise from this charismatic and loved person quickly turn in to ask for nudes and sexual favors. Which he later shared to the entire school branding me as whore and sleeze. He was everything I want he had a trouble passed like I did so I thought we were the same. I loved him with all my heart. He said he was going to marry me as he raped me in the same bed as my best friend and when I told her what happened after he left the room she got mad at me and told me that I was lying and if I did I’m the sicko. We had an on again off again relationship where he beat me giving black eyes and bruises and slipping my lip on multiple occasions (which were all written off as nothing because I like to goof around and wrestle). The only person who ever stood up for me was my brother, I remember he had just punched me in the car after “goofing around in front of my mom(who laughed), the boy kiss me and said that he was sorry as I cried. We pulled inside and I busted through the front door as my brother and his friend watch movies in the living room, my brother clear worried why I was cry came to check and see why I was crying. Before I could in my room he turn me around and saw my face. Furious he ran to the boy started to threat him, my mom told him to stop and defend my abuser saying it was no big deal and that I was tuff. That is just on instance of these off again on again relationship. He left me for one of my god friends blamed me for everything losing both of them in an instance. This spiraled in to a sex addiction. Formally diagnose with and hyper sexuality disorder. Have seek validation though sexual behavior both online and in person. Later fighting multiple addiction issues I figure my shit out starting with getting clean. I started seeking treatment for mental illness and speaking to people finding hobbies. Getting a good support system. I was lost and religion help in the form of peganism and my culture. I have relapsed with eating a few times and self harm but never and drugs or sex. I am not alway happy and I’m still fighting me demons but it’s getting better and being able to talk about this into the nothingness of online where no one knows who I am is incredibly reassuring. I want people to know so I get closure so it’s something I can work on talking about and recover.

[with-eyes-wide-open]

Finally some closure, even though I already gave that to myself

(28 September 2022)

Knowing that it was going to happen at some point...

Wait... Hold that thought...

Never mind... Knowing that it was going to happen at some point, it finally did today. Glad it happened where it had to be time-limited, with a reason to say hello and, quickly, a reason to say goodbye. 

When I realised who it was, I was really unaffected. It didn’t really matter to me, just another customer. Leave your shit at the door. 

The more I thought about it, the more on edge I felt. The next tray of drinks had a ticket with his table number on. He recognised me straight away. It really could have gone so much worse. Glad it was short and sweet. Felt like I stayed in control which I’m happy about.

Would I have rejected him eventually, had things continued? Probably. Possibly. Who knows? 

There’s something about being rejected that makes you feel so horrible. Let’s say you already know you’ll reject the other person, receiving rejection feels so sharp that the pain doesn’t feel proportionate to the weapon.

Felt the higher state of being leave me today, especially with this episode. Last night, I felt like I was visited by divine energy. The creativity flowing through me yesterday was amazing. My truest self. I cried in bed last night, I was so happy. That rush across your whole body. Music of my childhood playing.

Now, as I sit to write, and create this space for myself again, I can feel it coming back. It feels so good. The power of self-assuredness, self-confidence, the validation you can give yourself.

Was complimented a few times at work today by customers. I was told I looked Italian, then, when I said wasn’t, was told determinedly that I must be Spanish. Shock when I spoke languages other than my native English. Another customer, a young girl, early twenties, asked me if I’d ever been told how nice my smile was.

Was offered an acting job today. Sounded the solutions to possible logistical problems with Mum. Explained the situation to the relevant parties, asked the questions to the relevant parties. I’ve accepted the job via the agency. 

Taught an hour of Spanish on Skype. Had some banana on toast. Listening to music that will help me transcend. Feeling good. Need to keep going and trusting that things will work out. 

No longer feeling shame. Doubting less and less what it is I want to do. Know that I need to keep going. Doing before thinking. When I think, things get worse. Just need to do. Like write, or paint, or make. Writing whilst thinking helps because I have to keep going and moving on. It’s like walking. The only thing about walking is that I don't feel anchored to the moment. I can easily drift off into the abyss of dread. Writing is like a piece of string I can hold onto in the dark, at the very bottom of the ocean, and find my way back to the shore. By writing I mean the unfiltered stream of thoughts you’re reading. Being on my phone makes me feel like I’m just tied to the mast of an abandoned ship, [can’t find the word I’m looking for but it’s like when something or someone’s given itself over to its environment or people around them, like surrender, apathy, like being completely impressionable and not caring otherwise].

Going to make some tea shortly. Then I want to draw. Maybe I’ll draw now so I don’t lose this flow. I also want to read tonight.

I’m so excited for tomorrow. To get back to some art making. No pressure. Just working out problems and then executing them. It’s really not that deep. Just feels that way because I haven't done it for so many years. And the stakes feel higher this time. I just need to get out of my own way. It’s almost like it’s more effort to be in my own way.

Later: Just chose the video I think goes well with this entry. What the fuck@! Why is the universe so fucking interconnected. There’s Sonique, working a café job. There's me, working a café job. Imagination takes off. Giving everything. Having fun. Dreaming. Flash back to the café. Reality. It’s like Don Fucking Quixote. [Not that meme where Lana del Rey’s song ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell’ is placed next to two gay p*rnstars.] Living in delusion. The reality you want coming out to play. People seeing this reality and believing it just as much as, if not more than, you. Wow.

Also realise I haven’t told you about the weekend...

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

Fuck fake friends!!!

I’ve had this “best friend” for over 10 years. We’ve been good up to 2020. Covid happened and we obviously couldn’t see each other because I am a vulnerable person with several illnesses.

The last we actually saw each other was December 2019, which I understand fully because of covid and not wanting to get me really sick.

After that shit with the dude that was creepy and controlling in my last post here - ⬇️⬇️⬇️

I needed some help. Some support. I was and still am paranoid he will show up where I live, or he will use the things I told him privately and in confidence against me some how.

I thought I’d go to my best friend. I decided to ask him if he’d like to video call again. After we haven’t done it for a while, mainly because I’ve been too nervous (from not seeing each other for a long time).

We decided we’d Skype on Saturday, he was apparently busy and didn’t tell me or think to say he couldn’t do Saturday because of what he had planned. Otherwise I’d have said fair enough.

We then decided on Sunday, but thanks to my bowel condition that didn’t happen. I bought some Imodium on Amazon to be here today (Monday) so we could Skype tonight.

Then tonight I sent him a few messages, about my Imodium arriving so I’m ready to Skype tonight, and another to ask if he was still ok to Skype. No reply. Nothing. Not even to tell me that he was busy. I would have understood, and rescheduled it for another night.

But instead I was left waiting around. I waited until half 12. I had been waiting since half 10 at night. I realised he wasn’t going to make a show so I just turned off my game, put my IPad away and went to bed.

I’m now up again at 2 am because of no doubt stress and depression. And also because even though I take Imodium that barely works. Even though I didn’t even hardly eat today. But because of stress my stomach starts up. So thanks “friend” for making my stomach worse.

I can’t take anymore, I really can’t. I don’t know what I did. I must have done something to him. He could have at least told me he was busy, like I said I would have understood and rescheduled.

So now I only have 1 friend left, and wondering how long until she leaves…. Knew something would happen before my birthday. It happens every year. After this year I’m not having a birthday. It will definitely be cancelled. I can’t do that this year because my mums already spent money on birthday things, so I don’t want to waste her money.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Just lost. It’s like being back at school when everyone dropped me because I got kicked out of school due to being bullied a lot. Maybe I am just better off alone. Maybe this is a sign and it’s telling me that I should just be alone and that I’m meant to be alone.

[keeneonmyself]

TATBILB || Cobra Kai

Chapter 6

word count: 1.3k

Robby Keene x fem!oc (Sydney LaRusso)

masterlist

let me know if you want to be in a taglist <3

"Come on Anthony, we're going to be late for school." I urged my brother, standing already between the doors. He came out of the house and then I locked the door. 

"I hate taking the bus. Can you please man up and start driving?" "Actually..." A car honked behind us. 

Robby Keene opened the door and peeked out from behind it. "Hey, y'all ready?" He yelled. "Oh, hell, yes!" Anthony ran to the car. 

I got in his car too. "Morning, LaRusso." "Hey, Keene." 

"What's your name LaRusso junior?" Robby turned to see my brother in the middle of the backseat. 

"Tony put on your seatbelt." I reminded my brother in the back seat. "Anthony, Tony for friends. Anthony, for you." My brother glared at Robby.

"How exactly do you know my sister again?" Anthony dug Robby. Keene chuckled. "I guess I'm her boyfriend." Now I chuckled.  

"So you will be driving us to school?" My brother's pupils dilated in joy. "Yeah, sure," Robby replied while swerving out of the street. "Maybe you could call me Tony." Brother started to "approve" my boyfriend.

"Progress." Keene leaned over to me. 

I was used to being invisible, but now, people are looking at me, talking about me.

Our plan was working out perfectly. And it was always showtime at lunch. We walked in, he had his hand in my back pocket, and everyone was looking at us. Then he turned me around so we were facing each other. Keene grabbed my hand and with the other one, he was searching for something in his back pouch. 

"What are you doing?" I ground out between my teeth when I noticed Tory was looking at us too. "This is for you," Robby whispered as he showed me a small piece of paper folded into a square. Sydney with a heart, the paper had written on it.

He handed the paper to me and then put a strand of hair behind my ear as he leaned over and whispered to me: "Good job." We smiled at each other. 

"See you in a bit, okay?" I tucked his hair behind his ears and then he was good to go to his table to have lunch with his friends. 

It's weird and somewhat off-putting to be congratulated on doing nothing more than accepting a note and having an ass pocket for someone to stick their hand into, but I guess that's where my life has taken me. 

I made my way out of the cafeteria after hiding in the back when Aisha appeared and pulled me into the nearest empty classroom. 

"This Keene thing is insane! Who knew you had a secret boner for the king of the cafeteria crowd?" She was so into it. "I know, I'm just as shocked as you are." I smiled. I am sorry to lie to my only friend, but it wasn't a big deal. 

"Did Sam freak?" Aisha asked. "Actually, you know, I've been avoiding her calls so she doesn't know yet," I confessed, avoiding her direction.

It wasn't until a few more days that I decided to call my sister. 

"Hey, Sam. How's college? Did I mention I have a fake boyfriend? No? Yeah, it's Robert Keene." I rehearsed what I was going to say to her. I was sitting on my bed with my notebook opened in front of me.

"How did it start? See, that's a funny story because it definitely wasn't because I was trying to convince your ex-boyfriend that I wasn't in love with him, that's for sure." A fake conversation continued.

"Oh, shit." I lay, banging my head into a pillow. Skype beeped from the notebook in front of me. 

"Hi." I accepted the call and smiled at my sister. "Hi, finally. I feel like we haven't talked in forever, so tell me everything." She looked a bit sleepy. It was really soon in the morning in Japan.

"Well... I'm just making cupcakes tonight for Tony's bake sale." I said literally the first thing that came to my mind. "Cupcakes? No. It's so much easier to make brownies." She chuckled and winked at me with good intentions of giving me advice. Mom and Dad both worked, so that left it up to me, but I'm not complaining. 

"I already bought all the ingredients for cupcakes, and you're not really here, so..." "Okay, fine, do cupcakes. I'm sure they'll be great." Sam encouraged me. I was having a hard time breathing. It was hard, more like weird to see her after everything that has been happening lately.

"Have you seen Miguel, lately?" "Pff, no. Why would I be seeing Miguel?" I snorted absently. "I don't know, 'cause he's our neighbor? Is everything okay with you?" Sam suspected something was off with me.

"No, you know... no, no sorry. I am just so excited to get to these cupcakes. I think I'm gonna go and do that but it was so good to see you, Sam." I smiled at my sister. 

"Wait, Sydney-" "Okay, bye." I nodded into the camera and left the call. 

But really, I went down to bake the cupcakes. Except the flour spilled everywhere. I was about to put the first batch of cupcakes to bake when the doorbell rang. 

"Hey." I looked up to find Keene on my front porch. "Who are you supposed to be, the Pillsbury Doughboy?" He grinned. "No, I'm making cupcakes for Anthony's bake sale." I sigh.

"Can I come in?" "Sure," I replied and opened the door more for him to come through. I went into the kitchen to put the cupcakes to bake. "You know it's easier if you make something you can cut into squares like brownies?" He closed the door behind him and followed me into the kitchen.

"Robby Keene, what are you doing here?" I leaned both hands on the counter. "Did you not read my note? I'm taking you to Greg's party." Said as if it was a known fact. "Oh, I'm not going to that." I moved my head from side to side and snorted. "Yeah, you are. One, Tory is gonna be there, and two, parties are in the contract." Keene insisted.  

"Sorry, Robby, I can't." I motioned to all the baking stuff around me with my hands. "A deal's a deal." Robby folded his arms across his chest.

"You can't what? Is that Robby Keene?" My dad appeared out of nowhere. "Little Robby Keene, you're as tall as me now." Dad laughed. "Good to see you again, Mr. LaRusso." They shook hands. "You can call me Daniel." My dad winked at Robby.

"I'm here to pick up Lara Jean, take her to a friend's party," Robby straightened up to look obedient, "The parents will be home, and I will have her home early. Is it alright if we go?" "Yes." Dad smiled. "No!" I echoed. "I can't go. I have to finish these cupcakes."

"I think Anthony and I can handle some cupcakes. Why don't you go have fun with your friend Robby?" Dad walked closer to me and untied my apron, which he then massaged. "Get dressed, get changed, you look like a crazy lady." He pushed me over to the stairs. "Dad, don't, please." I mocked but it didn't help. 

"No drinking. No drugs. No hands." I overheard Dad instructing Robby on the way to my room. 

I shuffled a few things around in my room and opted for a black dress just above my knees. And a pale blue sweatshirt. I only did some basic make-up and then went downstairs. 

"Ready?" Robby stood up from the couch. "Yeah." I smiled softly and walked straight to the door. It was mostly quiet on the way. I was texting with Aisha and he was focused on driving. 

[buckyownsmylife]

Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever!  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it,  starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You��re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

[erodasfishtacos]

could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on. 

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon. 

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!” 

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

**

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

**

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

**

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

**

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.  

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous. 

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

**

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub! 

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

**

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself. 

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him. 

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

**

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed. 

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen. 

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N. 

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny. 

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl. 

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

**

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body. 

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

                                  -- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her. 

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips. 

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.

[gotham--fc]

Showing Love - A Lucy Bronze Imagine

Prompt: @dykeknightrises​ requested something with Lucy Bronze, hope you like it!

There’s many ways Lucy shows that she loves Y/N.

 Although the two of them don’t say the words too often, Y/N still knows Lucy loves her, because Lucy shows her instead.

 Like how Lucy would send Y/N flowers randomly, or text her throughout the day just to tell Y/N she was thinking of her. Or when Y/N would come home from training to find a package waiting at her door, with a book or a movie or a video game she told Lucy she wanted. Or even when Y/N was sick, and showed up to their weekly Skype date in one of Lucy’s hoodies, congested and gross and falling asleep while Lucy’s in the middle of a story about her teammates, and Lucy doesn’t get mad, doesn’t even get disappointed, just texts Y/N’s roommate Y/N’s favourite soup recipe so Y/N can wake up to a fresh, warm bowl of soup.

 The biggest way Lucy shows Y/N she loves her, in Y/N’s opinion, is moving, leaving the country and the team she’s been with, won with, for years, to come back to England to be with Y/N because she’d never ask Y/N to leave the team she loves, never ask Y/N to choose, because she wants Y/N to have everything she wants.

 “Do you miss it?” Y/N asks one night, quietly, her face pressed into Lucy’s shoulder.

 “Miss what?”

 “France. Lyon. You guys were on top of the world, no other team could touch you,” Y/N curls further into Lucy’s side, scared of Lucy’s answer.

 “That’s true, I don’t think I ever walked onto the pitch not thinking we were going to win,” Lucy says, smiling a little at the memory. “But,” Lucy continues, as if she senses Y/N’s fears, “After a while, it got boring. There was no challenge anymore. The hype wore off. And I missed you too much that none of the trophies seemed worth it.”

 “You missed me?” Y/N asks playfully, feeling better.

 “You know I did. Didn’t you miss me?”

 “I missed your cuddles.”

 “That’s it?” Lucy starts to pull away but Y/N holds on tighter.

 “And your abs, definitely missed those.”

 “If you keep being a little shit maybe I won’t let you see them again,” Lucy threatens, but they both know it’s an empty threat. Y/N giggles.

 “Okay, I’m sorry. I missed you too.”

 Lucy kisses Y/N on the top of the head, and they turn back to the movie that’s on that they haven’t been paying attention to. Y/N doesn’t mean to, but she’s tired from training and Lucy is warm and smells nice and she’s so comfortable that Y/N can’t help but be lulled to sleep by the steady rise and fall of Lucy’s chest. Y/N doesn’t know how long she’s asleep for, but when she wakes, it’s to Lucy gently setting her down on their bed and the pulling the covers up around her shoulders. Y/N makes a sound as she starts to wake, but Lucy shushes her.

 “Go back to sleep,” Lucy whispers and then lightly kisses Y/N’s temple and runs her hand up and down Y/N’s back until Y/N’s body relaxes with sleep once more.

 And in the morning, Y/N wakes up to Lucy’s arm around her waist and Lucy’s head next to hers on the pillow and Lucy’s scent all around her. And she shifts closer, tucks her head under Lucy’s chin and Lucy, in her sleep, grips her tighter and shifts so that Y/N’s head fits better on her chest.

 Y/N grins. Even in her sleep, Lucy still finds ways to show Y/N that she loves her.

[storiesforallfandoms]

caught feelings ~ corpse husband

part one

word count: 1776

request?: sort of?

description: after talking for some, the two of them decide to meet in person

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

You and Corpse regularly talked and Skyped after that night. He would regularly invite you to play Among Us with the gang, and you’d end up talking for hours on end before and after. You became someone that Corpse confided in when he was having bad mental health days or insomnia at night, and he became someone you talked to when you felt alone.

One day you were in the middle of making something to eat when your phone rang. It was the familiar ringtone for Corpse. You silently cursed to yourself as you quickly washed your hands and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“What took you so long to answer?”

You couldn’t help but smile at hearing his familiar voice. “Hey, have some patience. I was doing something.”

“Something more important than talking to me?”

“There’s a lot of things more important than talking to you.”

“Ouch.”

You giggled at his response. Before you could say anything else, Corpse asked you, “Where do you live currently, by the way?”

“I live in Los Angeles,” you responded. “I moved out here some time ago. Sean had convinced me to start my own YouTube channel, and I did for a while, but realized it wasn’t my passion. Why do you ask?”

“I live in San Diego. I was thinking...that’s only two hours from Los Angeles...maybe we could meet up sometime. Actually meet one another.”

You were shocked by the request. He really wanted to meet you? Not just video call, but actually meeting face to face? You weren’t sure why, but that really surprised you.

“I-I’d love to meet in person,” you finally responded, realizing you had been silent for way too long. “Do you want to drive here, or me to you, or...?”

“Well...not to be too presumptive or anything, but I was going to ask if you’d like to come here and stay for a while...maybe like a week or two.”

Your heart was fluttering with excitement. You wanted nothing more than to scream and jump for joy like a child, but you knew you couldn’t be that forward with Corpse so soon. Instead, you took a deep, calming breath and responded, “Yeah, I’d love that.”

“Okay. Okay, cool.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We can work out all the details later.”

When you both hung up, you excitedly jumped around your kitchen.

~~~~~~

Nearly a week later, you were nearing the end of your two hour drive to Corpse’s place. You kept anxiously checking the GPS every few minutes, hoping to be there soon. The entire ride felt so long, you just wanted to get to his place.

When you finally pulled up to his apartment you were shacking with nervousness and excitement. You got out of the car and approached the apartment door. You hesitated a moment before knocking on the door. Near seconds later, Corpse greeted you.

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face the minute you saw him. His face mirrored yours and you felt your stomach fill with butterflies being able to see his smile in person.

Without hesitation, Corpse took you in his arms and hugged you tightly. You melted into his embrace, feeling as though you really belonged there, and as though you never wanted to let go.

“It’s nice to finally meet you like in person,” he said once he pulled away. “You’re definitely as small as I pictured you being.”

“Hey!” you playfully scolded. “You’re only a foot taller than me, that’s not a major difference!”

“It’s major enough,” he teased. “Let me help you bring your things in.”

You only had packed two bags as you were only planning on staying for about a week and a half. You figured it was only a two hour drive back to your place if you needed to restock on clothes, and you and Corpse had already agreed that you wouldn’t be leaving the apartment enough to have to change outfits too much from day to day.

He led you into his apartment and showed you to the guest bedroom. It was a small room with only a bed, a closet and a bedside table.

“I don’t get a lot of guests that use this bedroom,” he admitted. “Never found much use of buying furniture for this room.”

“I have a feeling I won’t be spending too much time in this room anyways, so it’s fine.”

Upon realizing what you said, you felt your face flush with embarrassment. You tried to correct yourself, but it just came out as a string of stutters. Corpse smirked at you before turning to leave the room. You sighed heavily and followed him.

“I don’t know what kind of food you like but we can go to the grocery store later if you want,” he said as you followed him into his kitchen. “I have mainly frozen stuff because I just do quick meals or I order delivery.”

“I order so much delivery, we can just go halfs on food.”

“I knew I was going to like having you here.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Corpse’s words.

You were both silent after that. Neither of you really knew what else to say. It seemed like, when you weren’t face to face, it was easy to say just about anything. But now...now you couldn’t think of a single topic to bring up.

It wasn’t really an awkward silence, though. It almost felt comforting to just be stood there with him, to be in the same room instead of looking at each other through a computer screen.

“I have an idea,” he finally said. “Why don’t we order some take out and watch a movie tonight. Whatever you want to watch, even a cheesy rom-com.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like cheesy rom-coms,” you teased. “But okay, I’d like that a lot.”

~~~~~~

After you fully unpacked your bags, and after Corpse had recorded a video to upload the next day, the two of you sat on his couch to watch the movie you had picked. You both decided to order some pizza, so when it arrived you set it out on Corpse’s coffee table and hit play on the movie.

Halfway through eating the pizza, you began to feel full. You finished your last piece and leaned back, instinctually cuddling into Corpse’s side. Realizing what you had done, you immediately moved away from him.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said.

He gave you a confused look. “Why? I didn’t mind.”

Before you could respond, Corpse wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him. You settled into his side, taking in his scent and his warmth. Being in his arms felt natural, like you belonged there. And you definitely had no intentions of leaving that spot any time soon.

You were halfway through the movie when you blurted out, “Do I meet the expectations you had?”

Corpse looked down at you. “What do you mean?”

You pulled away from his embrace to properly look at him. “Like...did you have any expectations about me when we were just talking virtually? And if you did, does the real life version of me meet them?”

He seemed shocked by your question. “No, I didn’t have any expectations. I just...I hoped you’d be the same sweet, dorky girl I had been talking to for weeks, and you are. I didn’t think there was much else that would be different about you.” He paused a moment before asking, “Did you have any expectations for me?”

You shook your head. “No, you’re exactly as I thought you’d be.”

“Okay, good. So, we’ve got that out of the way.”

You nodded and settled back into Corpse’s arms again. You had your head over his heart and you could feel its steady beating. It was almost enough to lull you to sleep, until Corpse spoke again.

“Why did you ask if I had any expectations of you?”

You sighed and pulled away from him again. “I...always have this fear in making new friends online. I’m afraid that I’m setting myself up to let the person I’m being friendly with down because I’m not going to meet any expectations they have of me. Sean is really the only online friend I’ve made and kept being friends with because he refused to let me rescind into myself when he started asking to meet in person. It’s also why I never really kept up with my YouTube channel, because I was afraid of projecting this false persona and then when people meet me in real life I’m not what they expected.”

Corpse put a hand on your arm gently, almost as if testing the boundaries, before moving closer. You expected him to pull you into a hug and tell you that your worries were silly (Sean had done the same when you had met him in person first). You were taken by surprise when he cupped your face instead and kissed you.

You weren’t sure how to react at first. No guy had ever been so forward in making a move on you. Every first kiss you had had with an ex had been you making the first move, or you asking if they’d want to kiss you before they did. It took a while for your brain to process what was happening before yelling at you, Just kiss him back you idiot!

You ran your hands through Corpse’s curly black hair, pulling him closer to kiss him more deeply. His hands were gently cupping your face, his thumbs running over your cheeks before he pulled your head away.

“You’re everything I expected, and more,” he admitted. “You don’t know how happy I am to have you here. It’s been so long since I’ve felt comfortable having someone in my apartment, especially someone I’ve only known a short while. But I feel so comfortable with you, like I can trust you. Maybe...maybe too comfortable, though. I should’ve asked before I kissed you, I just got lost in the moment.”

You giggled. “If you had asked I would’ve said yes.”

The smile on Corpse’s face warmed your heart and made you feel tingly inside. “Well then...can I do it again?”

You laughed before pulling him to you, kissing him again. You could feel him smile against your lips as he pushed you back onto the couch, causing you to exclaim in surprise as he jumped on top of you and began to kiss you again.

It’s safe to say you both forgot the movie and the pizza after that.

[missymurphy1985]

Out of the Blue

*This was a request*

Warnings - smut / unplanned pregnancy / talk of abortion

I've used a fictional family for Cillian for this, names have been changed.

"That's it then," Cillian sighed, reading the letter from his solicitor, his friend Adam sitting opposite him in the kitchen of Cillian's new apartment in North Dublin. The Decree Nisi, his divorce from Kate now final. He felt a tinge of sadness, he couldn't help it, they'd spent most of their lives together and shared two teenage boys, but he couldn't forgive her cheating on him while he was away filming, the trust had left him completely.

"To a fresh start, Cill." Adam raised his bottle of beer to Cillian's pint of Guinness as they toasted, Ada ln trying to lighten the darkness in his best friend's eyes. "You're better off without her - now you can move on."

"Yeah no thanks, I'm done with women for a LONG time Ad, they're all the fucking same!" Cillian smiled, almost a laugh. "All I'm interested in now is the boys, they've been through one hell of a rollercoaster this last year."

"When are they coming to stay?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, I've got them all weekend."

"Then tonight Mr Murphy I am taking you OUT! Come on, we can go check out that new bar in the city, there's a band on!" Cillian groaned, that was not his plan for this evening. All he wanted was his pyjamas, a good book and an early night. This wasn't lost on Adam. "I'm not taking no for an answer here, come on! It's been months since you went out, let's do this!"

"Adam please... Not tonight yeah? Maybe next week, or.."

"Enough! No! You're not moping any more, I'm taking to out and that's the end of it." Cillian rolled his eyes. Fuck it, arguing with Adam was pointless, he'd known this since high school.

Within an hour they were ready, both of them in jeans and Timberland boots, Cillian in a blue striped t shirt and Adam in a green one. Hair fixed, they headed out to the waiting taxi outside.

"The first sign of someone trying to take my picture, I'm out of there Adam..." Cillian dreaded the thought of being papped out on the town following his divorce. The papers just wanted a scoop on who he'd be sleeping with now he was freshly single and available. Adam nodded in agreement a deal, as the taxi pulled outside the bar.

******************************

Y/n woke up, her head pounding. Opening her eyes she looked around at her surroundings, not recognising a single thing.

"The fuck have you done this time y/n..." You groaned, rolling your eyes and sitting up gingerly, trying to stop the contents of your stomach from evacuating violently over the unfamiliar bedsheets. Glancing at the alarm clock, you groaned again. 8am... Why the hell was it so damn early.. and where the fuck was she?? She heard a door downstairs open and close, and froze. She wasn't alone. Footsteps up the stairs, she quickly hid back under the covers pretending to be asleep as she heard the bedroom door open and the pressure on the side of the bed as someone sat down next to her sleeping body.

"Hey.. you awake?" An Irish voice filled the silence, as the smell of fresh coffee found its way under the duvet you were hiding under. Clenching your eyes tightly together, you slowly pulled the duvet back and opened them, seeing the man you clearly spent the previous evening with. Your eyes found his.. my god they were so blue.. he was handsome.. bit older than you, maybe? You couldn't tell for sure. You definitely recognised him from somewhere other than last night though, maybe he went to uni with you?

"Um... Morning.. I uh -" you sat up, taking the coffee from his hand, thanking him.

"Did we -"

"Did we.."

You both spoke at the same time. Clearly neither of you remembering the night before. You smiled, he smiled, before you both burst out laughing.

"Fucking hell, how wasted were we? We can't even remember if we had sex or not? I've NEVER been that drunk.. listen I'm sorry, this isn't exactly a great morning after huh?" He took a sip of his coffee, blushing slightly.

"Hey this is not something I do regularly okay.." he shook his head agreeing, neither did he.

"Cillian." He offered you his hand to shake, still smirking. "Listen if you can't remember if we had sex, you definitely can't remember my name..." Your turn to blush now.

"Y/n. And no. I definitely don't remember. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm still fully clothed? I don't think we had sex then redressed, do you?" You laughed, showing him you were still wearing the top and jeans you had on last night.

The pair of you laughed in relief.. eyes meeting again as the tension finally left the room.

"I can drive you home whenever you're ready y/n. If you need to get back?" Cillian offered.

"Erm.. oh yeah.. that'd be great, thank you.. listen, would it be cheeky to ask for a shower, or..."

"Hey, no not at all! Just through there," he pointed to his en suite. "I'll fetch you a towel, take your time."

You smiled. Those beautiful blue eyes were captivating you completely, you couldn't drag your own eyes away. He couldn't take his own from yours either, that tension was back, but it was a different kind of tension this time. Neither of you could remember how you got here, but neither of you minded that it had happened.

"You.. I'll go have that shower, yeah?" You moved to stand but stumbled slightly, landing closer to Cillian. He didn't move. Your face was now a mere few inches from his. Those eyes, once again never leaving yours. Your core burned, glancing down you saw the obvious excitement in his trousers, causing you to groan quietly.

He leaned in slowly, lips brushing yours carefully. You couldn't stop yourself kissing him back, within seconds the kiss becoming heated, tongues colliding. He leaned you back down onto the bed, moving his body to cover your own. You couldn't stop yourself, it was as if you were moving in autopilot, everything inside your core was on fire, demanding more of this incredible man immediately.

He stopped kissing you and hovered over your face, rubbing his nose against yours.

"Are you sure about this y/n?" You nodded, and kissed him again hungrily, parting your legs as he fell between them, grinding his own hips against yours. You could feel his hard-on, and you bucked your hips against his.

"Please... Don't stop now... I need this.. even if I never see you again after this Cill, just let me.."

"Baby I don't do one night stands... I'm taking you for breakfast as soon as we're done. Deal?" You smiled, no that was probably a grin. Breakfast sounded damn good right now, but not as good as he'd feel buried inside you.

"Deal. Now fuck me.. please?"

"Your wish is my command." Clothes removed, he grabbed a condom from his jeans pocket (Adam bought them the night before, he remembered that part at least, him slipping a couple into his jeans pocket as Cillian protested he wasn't going to sleep with anyone that night anyway...) Slipping it on, he pushed himself inside you, filling you completely.

"Fuck... Cillian that's fucking it..." You raised your hips with each thrust, he buried his face into your neck, biting the skin and sucking it slightly. You could hear him moaning into your collarbone.

"Shit you feel good... So fucking tight y/n..."

"Harder... Cillian, harder..." Your nails scratched down his back - if he was marking you, you were absolutely marking him in return. His thrusts now came hard and fast, as your walls clenched around him, your body finding that sweet release you needed, you hands pulling his hair hard. He came immediately after you, with a low moan into your hair as he pulled it in return, both of you panting trying to catch your breath.

"Shit me... I wasn't expecting that.." Cillian eased himself out, catching the condom before throwing it on the floor by the bed. Collapsing next to you, he turned to face you.

"I'm sorry... I don't even know you and I'm fucking you.. this isn't me y/n, I mean it, I don't do this, I've NEVER done this before."

"Hey, you've never had a one time thing? Seriously?"

"I was married for 20years until last night y/n!" He laughed, causing you to smile too. Suddenly your smile dropped a little.

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking.."

"42. You?"

"If I tell you, don't freak out yeah?"

"Y/n I know you're younger okay, just tell me. It's okay."

"24." His eyes widened, was that in horror? Shock? Disgust? You couldn't tell but it didn't look good...

"24?? Shit me... The press are gonna have a field day with this..." You sat up, suddenly extremely self conscious. Age was never an issue for you, you actually preferred an older man, but it clearly bothered him.

"The press?" You asked, confused. "Why on earth would they be bothered?"

Cillian looked at you. You looked back at him completely deadpan. Shit, you were serious.

"Google me. Cillian Murphy." You reached into your jeans pocket for your phone and typed his name.

"Oh shit..."

**********************************

"Y/n, you still with me?" Cillians voice floated through the screen, knocking you from your daydream. Filming over in England for Peaky Blinders, Skype calls were your norm now.

"What? Shit sorry, baby, I was in a world of my own then! What did you say?"

"I asked if that delivery had arrived from Amazon, those books I ordered? You ok?"

"What books? Oh, those.. erm yeah I think so, something arrived for you earlier anyway, I left it on the kitchen side for you for when you get home next week. At least I think I did..."

"What's going on with you? Are you okay? You haven't been yourself for a few days now, forgetting things? You left your keys at work the other day, your phone in your friend's car.. what's going on?" Truth be told, you had no idea. Since your chest infection four months ago, you'd lost the ability to adult. You and Cillian had moved into a new home on the outskirts of Dublin 4 months ago, that morning after being the start of a blossoming romance, that led to you moving in together within the space of 6 months. Everyone had something to say, especially his ex wife who was still telling everyone who'd listen that you were obviously sleeping together while Cillian was still married, obviously he traded her in for a younger model, obviously blah, blah, blah... Never mind the fact that SHE cheated on HIM, no mention of that... Luckily your friends and family saw past all of it, and welcomed the new relationship - seeing how good you two fitted together, it wasn't hard to see why. You were the gin to his tonic, exactly what you both needed without you knowing you needed it. But these last few months, you'd felt completely spaced out - not even you could deny it.

"That chest infection really knocked the wind out my sales Cill, I haven't been right since! My mind's gone to absolute mush! Maybe I'm just run down, I've got the rest of the week off now so I'll get some rest, I promise."

"Maybe book a doctor's appointment y/n, you should be over this by now, you took all your antibiotics, yeah?"

"Yep, every one, right on time. Babe I'm so tired! I can't explain it!"

"Hit the sack babe, get an early one. I'll call you tomorrow. Don't forget to make that appointment okay?" You agreed, eyes growing heavy. You told each other I love you before closing the call and heading straight to bed.

You left the doctor's appointment the following day with tears in your eyes. This couldn't be happening... You took out your phone to call Serena, your best friend.

Approaching her front door, she opened it and immediately held you as sobs racked your body. Taking you inside away from any prying paparazzi, she put the kettle on.

"He's gonna kill me Serena... This isn't supposed to happen! We agreed - this wasn't part of our plan!! What am I going to do? How could I have been so stupid?"

"This isn't your fault y/n.. and he is not going to kill you, okay?" Nausea overcame you and you ran to her downstairs toilet, your breakfast evacuating violently into the toilet bowl. Serena made you a glass of water. Your phone vibrated, Cillian's name appearing on the screen. You ignored it. Again. Three times he'd called, three times you ignored it.

"You have to tell him sooner or later, y/n..." Serena was at the door, glass of water in hand.

"How? How exactly do I tell the man who is adamant he wants no more children that I'm fucking pregnant Serena? And I'm already 13 weeks gone? How did I not know?" Sobs overcame you again, your phone vibrating a fourth time. This time, a voicemail was left. Shakily, you listened to it.

"Y/n what the fuck? Call me. Call me right now." He didn't sound happy - from just a few missed calls, that was a bit extreme! Once you'd calmed down, Serena left you alone in her kitchen while you called him back via WhatsApp, hands still shaking.

"Baby, what's going on?? Paul's just shown me a photo on Twitter of you leaving the doctors with tears in you eyes, what the hell is happening?" You cursed yourself.. fucking photographers everywhere!

"Babe, are you alone? And sitting down? Put your phone on video call." He did as you asked and you saw his panic-stricken face fill the screen as you settled your phone on the counter. He saw your pale, tear-stained face and turned a shade of white.

"Y/n what is it?"

"I went to the doctor's -"

"I know that, y/n..."

"Look, this is easier if you don't interrupt me, yeah?" He nodded an apology and sat back, arms folded. "So that chest infection.. I had to take antibiotics. And it would appear that antibiotics... Well.. they render the pill completely useless and -" his eyes widened as he listened to you.

"The fuck are you saying y/n?"

"I'm pregnant, Cillian. 13 weeks." You closed your eyes, waiting for him to scream at you. Shout at you. Curse you. But he said nothing. Silence. Complete radio silence. You opened your eyes, tears threatening to fall any second. "Well fucking say something Cill!"

"I... I don't... Fuck y/n... This is a joke, right? You're joking? It's April 1st and you're having me on, yeah?"

"No, Cillian, it's July 15th and I am not FUCKING JOKING!!" The tears fell freely now, how much of an arsehole could he be. You saw him stand up and walk across the room out of view and your tears fell harder. Serena re-entered the room hearing your sobs but you waved her back. Composing yourself..

"Cillian... Cillian are you still there? Cillian?!" He came back into view and sat back down, eyes wet. He was crying.

"I'm sorry.. baby I'm sorry I didn't mean.." choking his words, so many emotions running through his mind. Another wave of nausea saw you suddenly dash out of view to throw up in the toilet again. All he saw was you run.

"Y/n?? Baby?? Where you going??" Serena came into view.

"Cill she's fine - it's morning sickness. She's okay don't worry." Cillian breathed a sigh of relief seeing your best friend there, at least you weren't alone.

"Listen, go take care of her yeah, tell her to call me when she's feeling okay.. and tell her I love her. We'll be okay. Everything will be okay, I promise." Serena smiled, nodding her head, ending the call, making her way back to you, still wretching into the bowl.

*************************************

"How are you feeling?" Cillians voice helped to ease the pain. Your morning sickness had subsided, at least for the last couple of days. Your bump appeared out of nowhere once you'd found out you were pregnant, but with the sudden change in your body came changes you really didn't appreciate - your pelvis was agony. Since you hit the 7 month mark, it felt like it was on fire daily.

"Like dogshit. Like my hips want to cripple me. This is hell Cillian, I miss you so much!" You started to cry again, Cillian feeling completely helpless. He'd already missed so much of this precious time filming, neither of you able to come home or visit due to Covid restrictions and y/n having a high risk pregnancy. Severe morning sickness, coupled now with severe pelvic girdle pain, doctors had signed you off on sick until your maternity leave kicked in in 6 weeks time. You couldn't walk now without crutches, relying on friends and family to bring you groceries. You were beginning to resent your own baby, which made you feel even worse.

"I'm on the first flight home tomorrow morning, we wrapped filming up a month early so I could come home sooner. I wanted to surprise you, but I'm shit at surprises!" He chuckled, causing you to giggle too. You perked up, still lay on the sofa like a bloated whale but at least you were smiling now.

"Really? You'll be home tomorrow?"

"Flight lands at 7am. I'll be home by 7:45. And I'm not going anywhere, y/n, I've cleared my schedule. Nothing coming up, no press, no interviews, I'm completely yours and the baby's for the foreseeable future. I promise." Tears fell again, but this time, happy ones. He'd be home in less than 12 hours. One more sleep, and he'd be home.

*************************************

"Come on y/n... You can do this!" You gripped Cillians hand hard as another contraction rippled painfully across your abdomen. Why the fuck did you refuse the epidural? What the hell were you thinking??

"I can't... I can't do it... Cillian I've been doing this for hours I can't..... Aaaaahhhhhh!" You screamed as your body took over and you bore down. The midwife ordering you to push.

"You can, you can baby, come on... She's nearly here! So close now, just a little longer..." He breathed with you, patting your head with a cold flannel to cool you down. Another contraction, another push...

Suddenly the room erupted with a baby's loud cry, swiftly followed by your own. Cillians eyes watered as your daughter was lifted in the air, still attached by the umbilical cord. Cillian cut it, taking your daughter into his arms. It was already decided he would hold your baby first, after all, you'd been carrying her for 9 months! You choked, seeing him holding your baby for the first time, as he carried her over to you to hold to your chest.

"She's here... She's beautiful.. look at her eyes Cillian!" Ocean blue, just like his.

"She has your nose y/n... My god she's perfect..." He kissed your head gently, openly sobbing now and not caring in the slightest. He thanked you. He thanked you for bringing his daughter safely into the world, for going through hell during the worst pregnancy you could've imagined..

"All worth it... Every second.. but I'm never doing this again Cillian.. I mean it, never again." You glared at him then at the scissors on the table, then down at his groin.

"Fuck off, y/n, I'm not having anyone snipping anything down there..."

"Looks like a life of celibacy then Murphy, that's the only logical conclusion."

"I'll book an appointment next week." You smirked. Very rarely did you not get your own way, and now he had two girls against him, he knew he'd never get his OWN way ever again.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Taglist:

@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @margoo0