#discrimination awareness

[alwaysbewoke]

When I was in college, I let German tourists take pictures with me in my graduation gown. Even at the time I thought it was weird. But since my college years, I haven’t allowed strangers to take pics of me “just because” here or abroad. “Curiosity” means very little to me. People on the clock app were saying in China they actually have been known to post pics of Black people on WeChat to make fun of them. So, maybe not the best idea to let strangers take pics of/with you. Anyway, I wish you all safe, joyous, and comfortable travels. You deserve to see the world in peace just like anyone else.

x

[profeminist]

"The Don't Say Gay Law has been cut down to size in more ways than this.

- LGBTQ+ students and staff may now be protected by anti-bullying and anti-discrimination measures

- Libraries are free to restock LGBTQ+ books

- LGBTQ+ topics may be discussed freely

GO CRY IN A CORNER RON

Florida teachers can discuss sexual orientation and gender ID under ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill settlement

[deatmat]

Ace therapy is something incredibly interesting. I just saw a post about how in therapy asexuality is still treated like an illness and how hard it is to find a therapist who won’t try to convert you. (I was going to put this in the reblogs but then my phone did a whacky thing and made it disappear)

I wanted to share that there’s another issue with therapy and asexuality: people trying to use therapy to ‘fix’ friends/family.

When I was 13 I started to see a therapist for anxiety and depression. I was so terrified that I forced my mother to attend the first session with me. We sat down with Dr. A and started discussing what I wanted to explore over my time with her. As I finished my bit about why I was here, my mom decided to tack on one last thing.

“We also struggle a lot with her sexuality.”

I looked at my mother in shock because while, yes my parents do struggle to accept it and that does play a role in my life that I’d like to talk about, it was not what I’d expected to hear. Dr. A asked her what she meant as I stiffened in the shoulders and started to dread what she’d say.

“Well just that she’s asexual, and a little confused, and maybe you can help her through that.”

This may seem like it could be harmless - maybe she meant it as in genuinely wanting someone to support me through a difficult transition. But, knowing my mother, she was waiting for a professional to validate her in her opinion that I was “confused” and “too young” and “just waiting for the right person/for my hormones to kick in.”

Thankfully, Dr. A seemed to sense I was uncomfortable and shuffled along the conversation. When we had our next session without my mom, she asked me if I wanted to talk about asexuality or if my mother just wanted to, and when I explained it wasn’t a huge issue in my life, she accepted that and moved on. Asexuality was only ever mentioned from there on when I was talking about the stress of other peoples reactions to it, in which it was immediately treated respectfully. Though my mother still asked after most sessions if asexuality had been brought up.

I was lucky to have a good therapist, someone who welcomed all variations of queer people without hesitation. If I had been without her, this would be a very different conversation about ace therapy.

The LGBTQIA community says asexuals don’t face discrimination but we’re still so unsafe in medical settings. Most of us know we can never mention being ace to our therapists or our treatments would begin to focusing on increasing our sex drives which don’t have anything wrong with them in the first place. It’s sick and wrong that people are using the system to their advantage and trying to snuff out our identities. Please stay safe out there my ace pals.

[rachymarie]

Petition to change all tv/movie villains from all being schizospec/psychotic to just being billionaires/CEOs of corporations, to better reflect actual reality

[bindibites]

Hey so it's June 1st, start of pride month! But... it's also labeled as "World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day."

It's a day about educating people on narcissistic abuse, so that's what I'm going to do! (Spoilers, it's not real, and the guy who coined it was really shitty too.)

Narcissistic Abuse was coined by Sam Vaknin back in the 90s, an Israeli writer, philosopher, and physicist. A man who;

- Has claimed that being homosexual and having relationships that are gay is narcissistic because its wanting to make love with a reflection of yourself.

- That being transgender and seeking out transition is narcissistic because you are "disregarding your true gender."

- That not wanting to be gatekept from transitioning is entitled and narcissistic.

- Has no qualifications for psychology or psychiatry. (He even has a disclaimer on his website about how he's not a mental health professional, funny!)

- Was arrested and jailed for security frauds in 1996.

There's also a whole slew of him being misogynistic, a rape apologist, and Islamaphobic during interviews.

(Sources below the cut at the end of the post!)

So what is narcissistic abuse defined as?

"Narcissistic abuse is a form of abuse stemming from narcissistic behaviors. It can be emotional, psychological, or physical. Narcissistic characteristics can involve volatile behavior, lack of empathy, and aggression. Narcissistic abuse may include gaslighting, constant criticism, humiliation, and coercion."

Now, what's so bad about labeling this as narcissistic abuse?

The truth of the matter is that's it's misleading and demonizing people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

All of the traits described are not exclusive to narcissists, and terms already exist for these types of abuse without putting the blame on those who have a personality disorder!

Emotional Abuse: "Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you. This may present as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, dismissiveness, and more."

Psychological Abuse: "Psychological abuse involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions used with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally; and/or discomfort, confuse, or influence a person's thoughts and actions."

Those both sound familiar don't they?

"But Bindi! You can't tell me the abuse I went through isn't real!"

And I'm not! This post isn't to discredit anyone's experiences with being abused but is asking for a reflection on the terminology used to make the world better for all of us.

What you went through is real, but there's never an excuse for contributing to the stigma and demonization of people who didn't ask to be the way that they are.

Someone's disorder didn't abuse you, the person did.

And no, you can't separate narcissism from NPD. You aren't a narcissist without NPD. There is no way to get around using the term narcissistic abuse without it reflecting right back onto people struggling with a literal disorder.

Now, what actually is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

NPD is defined by the DSM-5 as "a compromising pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts."

It is a cluster B personality disorder, a type of PD classified by difficulties regulating emotions and behavior. These behaviors can be considered dramatic, emotional, or erratic.

NPD is a manageable disorder through psychotherapy and medication management!

But big of all... while the exact cause of NPD isn't known, it's believed that a mix of genetic features and early childhood experiences can contribute to someone developing NPD. Some of these factors are accounted to being abused and neglected ourselves.

Many narcissists are themselves survivors of abuse and face constant calls to further abuse us for existing with a disorder due to the damage and dehumanization of narcissists caused by Vaknin.

The coining of narcissistic abuse and its continued, prevalent usage has done irreparable damage. It is dehumanizing, demonizing and has contributed to stigmatization that has made finding help resources and people willing to aid those with NPD a hell of a lot harder.

Dehumanizing people will always lead down a horrible path of people deciding who to target, who’s acceptable to target and inevitably more abuse, violations of peoples rights as humans, and excessive, avoidable collateral damage.

It’s also done damage to people who are survivors of abuse, because in the end its a term that really helps nobody and holds so little actual meaning when describing abuse because it’s inaccurate in its name and general meaning; there are other more distinct, non-harmful terms that get you so much further in describing the events you had gone through.

In conclusion, happy pride month! Stop parroting the words of a raging bigot and do some self reflection after reading this post.

Thank you.

Sources below the cut for your convenience .

Full text these exerpts are from can be found here (Transphobic & Homophobic)

Found here (Unqualified for the things he’s been saying)

Also formerly read directly as

links to Vaknin’s website , interviews and medium articles

here are some excerpts from these:

Jacobsen: You agree with First Wave Feminism and Second Wave Feminism, and disagree with Third Wave Feminism and Fourth Wave Feminism. What defines them?

Vaknin: First and second wave feminisms (in plural: there are many schools) were focused on leveling the playing field and fighting abusive and exploitative practices such as prostitution and pornography.

Starting with the suffragettes, they focused on the franchise (the right to vote), equal wages, access (to healthcare, education, the workplace, daycare), revising the dress code (“rational dress”), the right to own and dispose of property, and converting marriage from indentured bondage to an intimate, hopefully lifelong equal partnership.

The third wave was a psychopathic outgrowth. While claiming to be inclusive and permissive, it was a defiant and reckless attempt to “empower” women by eliminating all boundaries, conventions, and mores of any kind in all fields of life.

What women have garnered from the confluence of the three waves is that they should make their careers the pivot of their lives, avoid meaningful, committed relationships with men, and pursue sex as a pastime with any man.

Ironically, the third wave played right into the hands of predatory men (“players”) who took advantage of the newfangled promiscuity while assiduously avoiding any hint of commitment or investment. Third wave feminists internalized the male gaze (“internalized oppression”) and pride themselves on being “sluts”.

The fourth wave of feminism is focused on real problems such as sexual harassment, rape, and body shaming as well as intersectionality (discrimination of women who belong to more than one minority). In many ways, it is an offshoot of second wave feminism. - Prof. Vaknin on Misogyny and Misandry (Misogynistic)

Militant Islam is, therefore, not a cancerous mutation of “true” Islam. On the contrary, it is the purest expression of its nature as an imperialistic religion which demands unmitigated obedience from its followers and regards all infidels as both inferior and avowed enemies. Islam is a young religion. At a similar phase in the development of their respective religions, both Jews and Christians behaved the way Muslims do today: paranoid, hostile, murderous, suicidal, fatalistic, apocalyptic, and nihilistic. Death cults arose in all these three monotheistic faiths. - Islam and Liberalism: Total Ideologies (Islamaphobic)

Nonconsensual sex is a crime and should always be punished harshly.

But falsely promising sex by word or by abundance of unequivocal actions should be equally criminalized as a form of fraudulent misconduct.

Men should be able to recover costs and damages from these "playful" counterparties, including for distress and hurt feelings.

Promises - made verbally or behaviorally - are binding and should be kept: look up promissory estoppel and breach of promise (mainly in marriage). Leading on and misrepresentation should be a crime not only in business and should have adverse actionable and tort or public reputation consequences and not only in politics. - Sex or Gender By Dr. Sam Vaknin (Rape apologia)

McLean Hospital, NPD Provider Guide

[sysmemes]

Next time I can’t get in a store or on a bus because its “too expensive” to make shit wheelchair accessible or fix/maintain the wheelchair ramps, I’ll just remind myself that experiencing ableism is a choice and I’ll fucking teleport I guess. And when I get turned down from yet another job because they don’t want to deal with accommodating a wheelchair user, I guess I’ll just ✨ manifest ✨ enough money to afford rent, food, utilities, medication, etc. Theres no way ableism can affect me if I don’t “feel disabled” ❤️

[sallyastral]

Repeat after me:

being oppressed doesn't mean you aren't or can't become the oppressor.

Racist non-white people exist. Homophobic or transphobic non-cishet people exist. Ableist disabled people exist.

Don't mask your hate behind lame excuses like "I am part of X minority, I can't be Y hate group!"

[slouph]

Reflection

[samodivas]

this [redacted] organization I follow unironically referred to as age-based discrimination as "ейджизъм" and I've been thinking about how cringe-inducing that is for days.

what the fuck is eydzizam? why did you have to literally transcribe a foreign compound word that makes zero sense when you could have simply said "discrimination based on age" and provided an insightful explanation for the issue you're addressing? how do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you can't even utilize language to make your point?

"oh but its terminology" it isn't! it truly isn't. right up there with "ейбълизъм" for "ableism" it's lazy, anglocentric and pathetically unaware of its own bias.

"but people who care about these things understand English so they know what it means" then why are you preaching to the choir? why are teenagers and 20 - 30 something year olds who have the means to master a foreign language the only audience that matters? what about people who don't know "terminology" or who are too old and out of the loop, or simply don't speak the language you're borrowing from?

I don't think wanting to have this information accessible in your own language, in terms you can fully comprehend, is somehow backwards or limiting. If this is what the entire "progressive" scene is like in this country, is it at all surprising that so many people (whether they're conservative, moderate or completely politically inactive) genuinely believe that these ideas are "planted by foreign agents" from the West?

And the fact that I get called "nationalist" for wanting the bare minimum effort to be put into adapting these topics for a localized audience is insane. If you can't make discussions on "ageism" or "ableism" accessible to a local person who doesn't speak English, it's not their problem for being "willfully ignorant" as most people coming from a place of privilege are. it's your problem for dismissing a huge segment of the population before they can even learn what the fuck you're preaching.

[nobody-cared-then-either]

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Disability awareness this autistic awareness that trans awareness blah blah blah, please understand that plenty of people are already plenty “aware” of marginalized demographics like this, and simply believe they should be eradicated.

Awareness is absolutely an important piece of the fight but not a worthwhile fight on its own because the people that most need awareness are the people that will reject it every time and instead cling to their prejudices for dear life. The same people that have used ignorance as a tool to carve out a comfortable life in the dark for themselves. Again, they’re plenty aware, they just don’t care. or worse.

So give up “awareness” and go with advocacy or acceptance instead

[crabussy]

jaw drop. I am going sleepytown now goodnight tranny reclaimers of all flavours whether you’re afab amab or intersex. infighting is for people who can’t see the bigger picture and if we don’t stand together as a community we don’t have a chance ok goodnight!!!!!! crustacean dreams in my near future if I am lucky. lobster in my mind

[ohello0]

Honestly kinda hate it when white queer ppl go “you just hate me bc I’m trans!” and then you look at what ppl are mad at them for and BOOM that mf been racist for a decade

[starlight-bread-blog]

Well if it isnt just the most jew thing to do to call someone an antisemite just for saying killing innocent people in Gaza is not ok…

The only reason I'm answering this is to show whoever sees this: They said Jew. Not Zionist. They are an antisemite.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Your Daily Reminder that Bias Kills!

This intersects with use of algorithms, which predate AI, and seem to postdate the more obvious racism of the past... but a lot of this shit was just calculated on paper back when they came up with it. But the kidney algorithm dates to 1999! It was based on a small study that was quickly discredited, but it got embedded in the system and kept killing people for decades! Wow!

Just as a precaution, they began including a number in standard reports that suggested maaaybe Black people don't really need kidneys. Maybe they do! But there's a possibility they don't! And that's all it takes to get your doctor to kill you. If maybe they don't need to provide complicated and expensive care, they won't.

Don't trust your doctors. Check their work whenever you can. Hell, that goes for anyone with the authority to gatekeep shit you need to live. And when you can't... hope like hell for systemic progress and fight for it whenever you can.