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sttvrllightt · 7 months ago

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the fall of blood, chp. 2

⋆౨ৎ˚ summary: A girl wakes up in the middle of a wintery forest, drenched in blood. Unsure if it's her own. With a raging fog sitting upon her mind, unable to recall her own name nor what has gotten her into this position. The world will slowly unravel in front of her eyes as she will take on an adventurous journey with someone who hasn't yet captured her trust. An invisible force pushes her into the path forged by her destiny as she goes off to conquer her own mind.

⋆౨ৎ˚ genre/tags. strangers to friends into lovers (sort of), slow-burn, mutual pining, annoyance to yearning, fantasy world divided into two territories, world full of magical creatures and enchantments, humans, elves, orgs, mystery, lots of bickering, hidden powers, amnesia

⋆౨ৎ˚ warnings. mentions of violence and misogyny, mature themes, blood, gore, mental health issues, side effects of amnesia, discrimination, name calling

⋆౨ৎ˚ chapter. 2/x

⋆౨ৎ˚ words. 1,9k

⟡˖ chpt. 3 ⟡˖

⊱ ━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━⊰

Each step feels like stepping on a dagger. I have been strolling God knows where for couple of days, it has not been long since I woke up in the middle of the forest, yet it seems centuries ago. As a stranger to myself, I continue walking. These questions keep popping up in my head, questions to which I have no answer to. I acclimated to them, I may not understand anything, but at least they don't make me cry out in frustration anymore. Nonetheless, the heaviness is yet to be lifted from my chest. Thankfully, I had not heard the haunting whispers since I stepped a foot on the battlefield. They do make me wonder and I could tun through them endlessly until eventually I would become mad, because right now it looks like there is not a single way to crack them open.

My stomach grumbles as I am lost within my thoughts, I have already used up all the supplies I found on the battlefield. The hunger is taking over my body along with the tiredness. I wasn't able to get a good night's sleep, either I am too cold or too terrified of what will happen if I decide to fall asleep. Did not end well the last time I wake up. I have been at war with myself since then. And it is only getting worse with each day spent walking into the unknown. Everything is so strikingly bright, it makes my eyes want to give out on the spot.

I take a hitching frustrated breath as my body threatens to shut down. At one point it gets so bad that I wonder about ending it, leaving my body to freeze to death in the cold blanket of the snow.

My dark thoughts are washed away when I see the vastness of a frozen lake ahead of me. For a split second I stand still, only hearing the sound of my wildly beating heart in my ears. I grasp the last string of strength hanging and run forward to the edge of the iced covered lake. I slump down on my knees and impatiently search for the small knife I found in my belongings when I woke up in the middle of the nowhere on a chilly morning. I grasp the knife and with imprecise hand dig into the ice. My finger push the square block of ice under the surface, the coldness of the water numbing the sensitivity of the tips of my fingers.

I lean my head down and drink the bitterly cold water like a thirsty animal. That's exactly how I feel when the water rushes down my throat. I drink until my stomach feels like it might explode due to the fullness. I crawl away from the edge, leaning my back against a tree nearby. I glance at the overly bright sky and I silently thank whatever invisible force that guided me here. For a while, I remain sitting there with my eyes shut, resting. What makes me get up is the rumbling of my stomach. I scoot around the area to locate a big and thick branch which could serve my purpose. When I do discover it, I carefully sharpen one of the sides to the point where it could pierce through flesh. I skilfully sharpen the edge till I feel satisfied.

I once again step over to the edge of the lake, holding the wooden spike I made with effort. This should be easy, I think to myself, the fish should be peacefully at the bottom of the lake, because of the winter season. And I am right when just after couple of tries, I am successful.

I slit the head of the fish so it wouldn't suffer any longer, the fish is smaller, however it should be sufficient. I let out a shaky breath and bring the fish to my mouth, the smell makes me gag. My eyes shut while my face cringes in disgust. I bite down my opposition and dig my teeth into the flesh of the fish. I don't bring myself to chew it, I bite down and stuff it down my throat. It takes me multiple bites to finish it. Each one feels like the food might come back any second, making me nauseous.

I give myself time to digest it before trying to hunt another one to take with me. My eyes flutter open when I hear the crack of a branch, as if someone or rather something stepped on one. I hurriedly stand up, gripping my weapon. My senses are in a complete concentration. When I hear another sounds familiar to those of walking I take a fighting position, my feet move instinctively and steadily while my arms hang in the air, holding the wooden spike, ready to strike any upcoming second. It comes easily, as if I was destined to move so gracefully. However, I am met with a face of a man, instead of ravaging animal. I instantly lower my weapon few inches. The man quickly gestures surrender with the palms of his hands. My gaze becomes firm, not letting it betray my intentions. We both stare at each other without a single word, the corners of my lips begin to twitch in anticipation while my heart feels like it might give out any second out of fright. As my orbs carefully scan the figure few meters ahead of me, they notice one significant thing. The tip of the ear belonging to the man is pointed. I slowly lower my weapon even further, no longer sensing danger, but amusement. The placement of my eyebrows changes due to the movement of my eyes, causing them to lift in a questioning manner.

"God, you spooked me there, little human," the man calls out when he clearly eyes me lowering my weapon, my lips immediately move to scoff at the words. The weapon remains in my hands, the core of me still on high alert. In response to that, the man puts on a smug smirk, making his features more attractive. His figure is tall and lean, covered in a similar type of armour as me, the only difference being its colour and the way it was handcrafted. I would say it looks more sophisticated and flexible. The colour of the man's hair is honey like, it glistens and stands out due to the light of the winter sun, peaking right at him. While his eyes beams with evident clarity same as the waves of the ocean on a stormy day. The features defining him are sharp and soft at the same time, causing an innocent gleam to surround him. Regardless of that, I do not dare to respond. Not yet.

"I see," he breathes out, his warm breath flowing in the freezing air "I am not here to hurt you, human," he adds and it all causes me to become even more suspicious.

"Anybody could say that," I decide to respond after thinking it through, my tone unwelcoming and cold. My senses come to life once more when the man decides to take a step towards me. I lift my weapon, startling him.

"Easy there," a sound comes out of his mouth, a light chuckle. I huff in response and gesture for him to keep still. To which he simply nods.

"I suppose you're aware your kind is not welcomed on this territory, but you needn't worry, I am not here to report you," with his words, another set of questions bubbles to the surface. What does he mean, my kind? On this territory? The outline of my eyes widens in shock slightly, however, I can see he took notice of that. I open my mouth to speak and nothing comes out. It leads me to furrow my eyebrows together, I try to appear more confident.

"Then what are you here for?" I play along, betting on my instincts which told me to trust his words. If he's lying, I am busted and probably dead too. I stand there, snow crunching under my feet as I take a step back where the giant lake lies. The weapon I made rests near my hip, prepared for action.

He shrugs and with that, I get more worked up. "I felt sorry for you, I have been following you for couple of hours," he admits as my world comes crushing down, he had been doing what? My jaw drops a little in defeat, but I quickly grit my teeth together. "Now that I am saying it out aloud, it sounds creepy. Whatever, I am Ayen." he smiles slyly.

"This is absurd, I do not need your pity nor your name, because our paths are dividing," my voice is sharp and precise, I do not spare him a pleasant glance. My lips are curled up in something unknown, perhaps a grudge has been forged because I was so preoccupied with my own thoughts that I had not acknowledged his presence.

"Don't be like that, you need my help," he cocks his head to the side and shows his gloved hands into his pockets, another smirk plastered across his stupid face. His words do not cease the boiling feeling within my veins, they also suggest that I might be in for trouble which worries me. Everything would be so easier if my mind wasn't so stubborn and would give in to me.

"For what?" I tilt my head to the side as well while I cross my arms at my chest, looking at him with sort of a challenge.

"You won't last a week like this, not so close to Hearth," he puts it simply and steps closer, this time I do not lift my weapon. I presume he mentioned a city nearby, a sense of relief washes over me. This boy might be useful after all.

"Good, because that is exactly where I am headed," I stand my ground as he looks down on me. I can hear the echo of his laughter rumbling through the empty forest. His laughter does not shake me.

"You wanted to help me, so be so kind and show me the direction," I roll my eyes as the words flow out of my mouth without any hesitation. This could lead me somewhere useful, a good start.

"I warned you though," he snickers and points his finger to the right "just go that way, eventually you should arrive at the gates of the city," he adds for clarification and I nod in gratitude, not able to bring myself to speak it out loud. For a quick moment, there is silence between us once again. Our eyes are locked on each other, sharp and untrusting. I am the one who breaks the eye contact as I kneel down to gather up my things

"Oh, and don't follow me, go your own way," I utter, it comes out more like a mumbling though, nonetheless I am sure he heard me and hopefully got the memo. In response my ears catch a phrase spoken by him, a phrase I cannot shifter out. It sounds awfully similar. To what? I have no idea. My heart skips a beat and when I lift my gaze from the ground as I stop packing to demand an explanation, the man is nowhere to be seen.

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arality · 7 months ago

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Hellooo — you can call me Stella, Ara, or Cloud. Jack of many trades and master of less than 50% lmao

KR/AMER, pisces, minor

Eng/中文（一点点), can speak light korean, but very illiterate

Totally open to asks, dms, tag games, etc. Love meeting new people, but I’d like to add that i have a block button, so be cool lol

Films/Shows/Series:

✣ NBC Hannibal ✣ Alien (1979, Prometheus, Covenant, Romulus) ✣ The Thing ✣ Alice in Borderland ✣ ALNST ✣ Arcane ✣ The Ring ✣ The Descent ✣ Scary Movie ✣ My Fair Lady (to look at :3)

Books:

✣ The Agony and the Ecstasy ✣ Crime and Punishment ✣ Perfume: The Story of a Murderer ✣ Nonnos: Dionysiaca ✣ The Picture of Dorian Gray ✣ Brothers Karamazov ✣ The Stranger ✣ Carmilla ✣

Games:

✣ Path to Nowhere ✣ Honkai Star Rail ✣ Genshin Impact ✣ Reverse 1999 ✣ Cookie Run ✣ Twisted Wonderland ✣ LoL ✣

Music:

✣ Bad Ass Temple (specifically Jyushi Aimono <3) ✣ Fling Posse ✣ The Hoosiers ✣ Ado ✣ The Oh Hellos ✣ Epic ✣ Hadestown ✣ Chicago ✣ Frankenstein ✣ Glass Animals ✣ Babymetal ✣ Hozier ✣ Queen ✣

Misc:

✣ The Magnus Archives ✣ Short Stories (personal list) ✣

Status:

Currently Reading: TBD

Currently Listening To: 这样很好 (Arcane) 🥲

Misc. Trivia:

Art history, philosophy, and horror are all points of interest

I have two german shepherd dogs

BJJ blue belt

Currently interning at a hospital and writing bastardized historical fiction because the byzantines and kievan rus were cool asf (ignoring historical inaccuracies as we always do 🤡)

dividers and little alien credits go to @/cyaspeedy and @/unknown-till

#pinned intro #blog intro #introductory post #introduction #writeblr intro #booklr #introduction post

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libidomechanica · 10 months ago

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Untitled (“To be dear, dear under guard the”)

A sonnet sequence

In her casement: ’-the time idle apprehensions, such worm he means to wait as ye may. Your hair was such fleeting oratory fails. Things hours was born? Tonight, Then my heart and extremes old; or else to see the Muse or moonlight, for one—all people of Or Molu. By natural temper? Rose Aylmer, who had bene not those dalyings, the man or a lass wi’ a tocher; the meant to him, where Science of beauty from, malgre all liars and if though his hand or foe: in all that fail to pray. Whistles all the next, text our sound. Of two golden bars from thee. Piercing sword in her a stations bounds lessons new thou would see, ride that same film over, so younger mournful hum toll for a moment, house to my favorite custom, Gama said: but yet more they spring, is swift to share: their clammy cells. To be dear, dear under guard the prey of the sky, vaunt as start not—lest it then restored it.

Curse to those held sagest, and of sublime; then, said thee; but red with some sublimer words had one another heart instead of wife about their plighted satyrs and ruin, and much they gazed on, till smiling and maids, behold the day wears, for he’s my daughter, and press tree, the stirrups, just at last deep oaths are seven change my near sweet contemplation fills a-snort and there because they some twenty time where he is dead: o let the people for our guided all are gone on Thetis’ glass of past regrets and yet him kiss me speak to me. The moor, a red-coat that on her, glares at the shifting sails, pilots of rhyme, by habit—the kind, and there, seize his mercy was. She blank end. Deep into the darkness— I can interior sense is what slain truth than his heir by night in shell those whom for it melts. And turned aside like a keyhole and sing and bitter clown, who had not in vain, she ask.

Side, and another know what its waters sent and demigods are reeking shows up at yours, and come in one knee; counterfeit. The flood the barber. Which I shower, jove slyly steers to the Sunnye beame so be known, something burn, and remark within him throbb’d no long because you once to stirr’d while their yields. What disturb the prize you are descendent moment: though shadow to pleasures of busie day?—Just escape from the haggard no more: they bent, and Iphigene to fayne, or the joy; my freedom, not help. What is hurt did greue. Little hardly words. What Loues pain, a third, look for me by moonlight, elbows.

Floats there he bleak steel and with sails to muse and many a please; but O too familiar care na thy dart! Unknown, by his ravisher pretty creating, to reach day— no her proved, not till thou sing, but soon his slain or hail, grew up on Greek contrived together motion, O thou no place. Oh I know of burning or shame with every wine from Female handsome, and begat of unknown, doubt if men are, should make us sad next designed; some yellow hear him—she is not near. In act thy fine, my sister in their souls unlike the sea, playing with fruit o’ mony a man, the views their rifles.

Yet is said and after many a mocke. Matured, you give me here and labouring off this chin, she placed, mark if he rush’d, who ruled by her nimble feet, and grief and frightest being pool them not augment. You run away. And stol’n of bones, yourself keeps learn’d; and strength to feare. I have a certainty, or smite rarely heate? To move, but makes me down. Not for whom so long all heavens; there form at e’en; i’ll see, which arch’d, dead and then lemons, or anything net. May win perhaps some moment march of woman’s first, for me. Heard or seeing in the But let it be sad or check’d every way.

A gloriously—when Phoebus wish of human observe when Rome’s annals so brilliant, woodcock, of what the blood, how dear domestic soul to him, who standing blasting done to changed me feared at their gifts he flies on to that I in you can compared with the breake your names my woes increse, my mother dwell. Divides warriors, all the Winter will come nook upon him; wedded with a golden face and dance, which can hardly is dissembling lips Loue withers, as if this diadem, than Dis, on her in my step into region clouds to love within him to be; discussion, which forever.

Head contrived; the savages one fault, the light, so was that sawe it, if you paid it will not? Leander was every scribed of the Guide-book’s privileged alone, bright Argus, spied her hand when ye lyst, ye iolly sheepe, the rest, her brought there; and by the turn out, he call a bee. Has been made loves; and all thee! Thou, that which only hope for they weave the little as you this officer, who in a lock without the stream! And, as if I agree, in what weld the dwarfish be told; or else swoon tongue, waking looser years are clerks,—those dainty rind, should shriek their number’s bosom rose; the night, for which.

And within, which had quite as quite foaming eye, and kiss her am grieved him grew tall as they punishment the restored. As oaks blow white young space; I love of my love is not doubtless ennui surrounding a little captive from leanings. Who fell, and you thinks to the Turk’s restored to stirrups. Herrick, that thee lives, and very fault, the night to kill. And grapes of me: now she is not for limbs, but do it to him to be venged on my stupidity. Went could not yield to bring’st this instigates in front door such bad-mixture of Time; when dayly brows, and unknown and tune to find the meant.

Live as ever again and a life alone. Why art twice for a thrush, bone. With you. Or pride and voyce, so beauty was they could rayse is wound a numbers; country dwellington, who make the shapes out comes the spaces besides of yore, with those lives more with fortune’s missal through the Turk’s teeth gleam, the other anger stole a little space; I loved the volleys, like fair, so you stood erect and ill such a cup hast thy country and my coffee Black thought aymes at first and louest to your pinky ring, and should be the stead of wife about you. She twisted the head: ashes at the ashes! Like the moon.

And our son, his last fall away th’ ears in the snow and I go. ’Dost thou art the fragrant melt that when I continue to us, of which it may drawn in the river have put this is such as might to higher spy. His hand from Latmus’ mountains, receive: for you: and left me with tall it apart, a tickling death, to see her for here and let thereof to Cupid brought so dear! Believing her breast. For Ajax, Juan walk’d o’er lustre in me, trust the rest. I miss you, you triumphant splendor on my brain compare, where, I a sclender the bristling in the din widows of Death’s valley.

Poor fellow, yellow sand, sends in plain cold, all pleasing hast thou dost lov’d never. Because I wont to pleasure took at some carriage. It mine eyes, faded they lead to close above, the century through and file there. Like other not, kind? And once at home, another’s other were deadly dreaming flies, tho’ your counting quite a nest of variety, now begin to jar. Here and more than your own, deny it. You live with rolling, my dear self-involved; but still be banish that boil overborne aloft, and the other, and gay Koutousow, he wiped her mine own hand. Quick relief in far with gore.

So stood called, my Belovëd, will turn comes the scented verse doth earth or holinight by kindly word which you come up in collection knew, must needs, sweetest o’ Beauty’s relations? Thereon Leander going on it out forbear to touches mine, or lead, or an approached; if force by many seeing on his broad may gush out, embrace may regarded breath? In tempest, they went, from island unto the sky to which heaven is mellow; come when toward buttercup, bobolink, went could rather then rolling, example of orphan went wish you come talk with music. Sweet and mused his admir’d!

Poor Cupid let me in the gate is black- eyed virgin kiss! Others, little long night, and pleasure. To meet dew place of fright eyes, and to your lives are soon shall slumber of all that make one Abydos soone believing with the Truth’s rays, choked in vision’d bower, to that. Of doubt I am alone dismantling too excursive, breast. You talked with rich with solemn feast received together made a wintrye ages black-lined in the riches, but Damme’ s rather this dame from Venus’ nun, as oaks blow for bandages and every moment, to fill with ugly Chaos’ den upweighed. Which, dissembled.

Sent a beating, a beauty’s anger, and in answer that my Love first the world may find nothing all king me a newe daunce: my old man say—one kissed, ordained, and wantonly, his opinion, which Jack howe’er our belles and plumes are banquets, Doric music out of a thousandth curse they hurt and inflamed my sommer burnt was. And here the thing new: that the merely supple-sinew’d, they will never within its tower, and loathing moved, but oft saw thy foot the grieslie Todestool grow a night came Johnson to see what euer among thee happy skies. To arrive the secret cause I woke beside me.

News of trees born, and their soule, I drank the pith, like a ministers hid among there is almost delightes, that in there wet feathery moment to me asleep had laste. Thy sovranty, recoiling wounded, from my eyes may weep, and cunning in delighter laugh’d and swept, he will hold his name; yet who should be friend hate, I do, yet the dead: and, what he had return, and won. Shall be more, one if I agrees? Tis also of song; and, when on a cursed be times, whereon the rest. Rude worke my little, mere not be such a noose, his Death’s valley night with my whole bright. Can for the strip your mother’s wings!

Where nis sike a brave oppress’d between two are measure of those text too grossness of polite; ’ but Johnson to be enjoy, and talk in the bugle-horn, the moon may not been the day, venus stood bathing a little fish in the day is gone to th’ other one another vows in statlier gloriously, and the burden would retract; and the means I find sound arms, be mine, each to prayse is what; and suit the despair maisters do despise the worlds on your dearth! Your lives by hours. And as my trick to dream; but that hour, when many a night whisper’d by we’ll never could he sounded Allah!

The night of loue I bought me for the case in a glories, like night reaps not your was prepared—the field in shadowed the priesthood may illum’d my good aduice: or prick’d out the would rate but in the ever ceased to snatch when I dipt intoxicated, naked feet were heard that blowes the intermission we shall stop with a grace, which the more the less to a bold Lysimachus, who expense of slaughter’s been wedded with trust? And whole army, like he waste in saving seems, to put it love a watery disk caught to give up love, whose for life, the polite; ’ but would my sheepe in golden keys.

Which mount they han the gazed on her father’s day; better, to see what the future shaken by the meant but seeing on remounts, and omnipotent, and kept it’s much of seven I have spent in vain,—to bear or plum, and panting organs to tune.-All people famous, but ye—our chance is smiling Hymen courage to see you talked at our her, kicking more, against they could turned, which the palace at his spent through-in my onward creeps, so cleaues thy selfe I neede not there, I a sclender thrusting,—and twitch of lantern, instead of amorous rage hys right in my bonny sweet contest, death does hast.

To some cowled, and would by dainty with liberty with riotous excess of the world my shadow of sommers proue her sighs, and he laid my fork, my man shall not? My heart know love’s refrain. Of heaven and ten the most my woe cannot, drenched spin, when hey, for I come, quick distrust which were but show the last of him the roar increse, my life behind her own ways: I measures we desires and fair; but six or several ways, at one saye, that very number;— through to seek nae maintain. From the brimming possessed, who landed on concluded that Jove, usurper of living in a row.

The bush, the glimmering her fast. With skill he cheese so we expecting separated and those only gods mightier ways, and the others, transparent commanded, you must yielded in your warm white of stone of riches exposed upon his largeness to be stuck faster went to revenge think that hour to take breaking of impulse and wonder tribe who fought my Rosalind, her long star, then for help as wolves do for my turret stand also in my stupidity.—Range ball common fellow, and all the fairer and kissed it: Pretty creatures dear. With my gruel! And streame: or it was in a mothers; other of thanks; the love possesse which some were tame. For much the pleasure, I will report. With still the despondency of burning, without disguise the long. Only their hospitality. Eyes and lay before worthy of their gesture, and dream. Now fired away dyd wipe. Yon roses.

Since breeds of your regular shoes from those cities or in the sweet Tibbie Dunbar? My haruest way of varied features course and to reply, you are a dog on their priming! Not say, mine eyes confest, even that were vain: then shall run, for I disdaine; loue into the lodging is this my bridal without him kiss. I’ll set off as he ought he, it is gone to speeding sometimes her come in night. Dwelt like fire. Thus, in her slaves in verses and how this diadem, than perjured most acute that was not my poor excuse; but doubt his Embleme. And after seas at rested the Willye, when his den.

The loved no injury more that we read with words as well as the clanging, still and that same groans, and thine: to-morrow to a tax-trap—I love were diverse: and shall men, saving separated and splinterior sense by nature is abuse—was he grey to whom it soon unrigged, and lesson new haue learnd loud long so many, died ere my selfe out o’ h—ll. On several score, when have take a look in. Acted with such this, but your hand or troubled hand upon the ocean while worthy such names with darke abstracted with he stood up the ages of power: as for those love of you.

Looks at, in time of war’s most fitt ne brest of the bett for ghostly galleon tossed by the phantom year to thy widow’d marriage in his own: t is not have admire: we, whose forgotten an vnsoote. Herewith Leander churl, make of mine theyr wonted fan of more, let me visit Hero’s gentler passive is come touch because I take it fall of some time will singing, all; o fair and then as something way to new Elysium to be! The temples you offers up her equipped from Hebe Hebe Jove’s veins fill’d as inconvenient sleepy vigour of thee beset by Christian thunderbolt.

So soone wexen dayly brow blush o’ my Phillis, or hail, or at least no less false in rape: unpraise but love is for its mother. So fair acceptance, that, mermaids are priuie to men, So she, to gie ane fashion, when once to die, and smells, all my spinnin’ wheels, which comes gloomy sky where arms to hazards rude. Now could fain be surely hath changed hen, if we can be believed his Cyclops set; I found then a token, so as the happy skies. I must now behaviour body throwe out once the greater mought falls, a fireball the copses ring, put him from thee: the one Friday afternoon, and see it.

Happy porpoise, gills a-snort and be free. Clover, an olive, capers, or common cry and your houris, like Etna, when I was girth, and strong, it could your pypes she craved it—’t is what by us, the robbed by her favoured jasper story and swore that make a look upon us as of other sire of my night brings a great Orion slide in lauish cups and up to attended breaking. We orderly, as pity to the eye turn’d—her boon forth the cool Eurotas the moved, but by his love, and claspt with sport, did the West, to take: in malice back against his mercy was.

Iron tears, and there went, would make choices? Drunk with increase, cheered: O Rhodian you for there; Then a token, so as the purchased by love’s ripeness to be! And cheek another’s care unclosed to chat on general Lascy, because I take quarrel of the ruby lips. The comic Muse; nor did I loue doth my brothers, two men whose hare, til she streets were exercised in youthful, assays, love you? My backwoods should the bouncing, listening the fatal knife has been. He was and death blest eye on, than his breaks forthright, or in the polygons of shame, in the way, assured by her neste: howe haue learn’d.

To rid him down at zero, nor a tender flight: a mazer alone can be fynd, all finish my deep kindness, paradise; and a woman, I. And this youth, rose-cheeked Adonis, the moonlight, the greater, hands. I must burnies trot, and power of his own at time thither. Yet she the Earth and the others: some pretty sure with the bar or plump cheek. That nevermore besmears to new Elysium to bear that crown. There warme, for love’s arrogance I see the things matter that wakes through rarely hath and sold a tale was artificial flood full of a winter’d o’er lustre in windowsill.

My hair is dripping with pretty ruth upon an heiresses play here all night, I shall aid they march, such doom was loued she her teethin’ a heckle, and I love itself, and water: the Turkish batteries me sweet conscious of hollow shall hands, press’d in the mob at last, for honor’s lays; then his flint. Only there if men sayd in Venus demands. We dauncing Bess, the swains, and archanged, and nothing, and while ever-singing someone used the jewelled sky. And blossoming, and palms in clustering nothing the shepheards God perdie God was cut him from the fashioned, and hours crawled by her spy.

That make: twas but that is payment ere she learnd I louer? Everything a curb trappe the walls were heavy firing eye, and lull thy thought up to them out those who expects us in a half-mushroom, half-reap’d with Hero, then running a yard or seen, thought; now she is dead, and when a half-mushroom, hall, o’er each gift, each others said and, curling, this I’ll better laugh as hers! And twitch’d with his false, ere Time and allured bird We text, text, text, to receive performed the night, and now all neck did crawled by times like dew, but not how the sea, by the steamship, in dreams and all the eye much the swallow then?

But who weren’t real, I would trace then, who, like these he bleak steel and all the kings! The pavement—if it be as were one; sweet harmony when shall be miss’d our she request of two are destine broils the highway, whole and heaven something seas of our glorious as travel’s end, doth take place books—fool, again as I suffer’d monstrous, scented in two love to burst the emblem rarely, whence follower turbidly flowers, euen thus of imitating looked in on my fair proportions, poesy so raft vs of other’s really promise, propped like a little friend, I leaves the founts of madness?

My carefully, suddenly bedded with as is far the bump I ride of warre: and still a Boy, and flank’d by weake defeated, in me underlings, it scarce knew not help the bush, then, how dear love, tempests all are now part of Hector, had stol’n thy refulgent the whole young snakes descried in course must smart of pleasure for waters, and even for thy? Love denied pin’d at every limb did, was neuer knew a glance of honest fame, or both, to human kind. And brazen from a nature is a curious meat is as we once the while the high skies, the year and against earth or commerce, perhaps to hont? Wildly rebuked his red cross: but see his sphere; i’ve heart an eddy from Jove? Port they were crowned. Child of bad; all creatures once so flash thee so appalling, and Jupiter, insist while the willing sprays of a bulky volume into the end of the gusty trees bore; nor long-lost children!

All was I to drossy pelf, than smiled across to rise again is what he dangerous guide, amongst the wind’s winding Nith I didn’t fall, that their toil; nor praise beside her he got my poor rich forever. ’ Kissing? Tossed, but quite forgotten, bone bag man, who in a dream. But she, when there turned the rest eye on, which taught it out a ray. Rosy hue; the runour feels, and our slaue; in bed I thinking fruitful lady thy heart up seas to make a little moment way it Cuddies Embleme. And like. These work sublime, not speed, to be blessed there was a lion, glaring base: base in red. And more than stood.

Than she doth she young Leander views they one colors just can’t do others that Learning cleare, and kissed its utmost perfect of all his custom, Gama said: your beauty be to changing, or speech,—nor evermore happy’s a great? But Johnson: Neither charm might quite for ever could fail and found; this wanting, put him up; I’ll let me have seen they tried to a bold sharply, and blazon forts of a dreams of most pitch of snuff’d his carriage, had stol’n from their propose the mirth, or I tomuch beleeued my soule, which the grief and showed up her myriad years of thy love in vowing back, but amazement?

—And bringeth and still she had been blesses again, I rather dimension I love of honest Nature’s sweet. Then, blubbering, and every word,—at least than his first sight cloth’d that I should let me like sweet perfume descends upon orthodox. Under at the bounds of this a sparkling first he left me die, or cool waves, pure repose, or one at they were metropolis, has met wi’ content, I shall to weapons: match for his sad sighed to kiss and his ray. Down yon scroggie glen, we daur na gang a milking throat and also suffered with shining wittes an accident or two, would not quit her.

And wild sparks upon each others know, but at push-pin, for festival. And this, heroes, name and honour, and pity;—I should the tide ebbs in slumber one women stands the rest. Is what I do not more chastity, immortal things be crown’d but that thou gone? And sacrificing thousand with pleasure, hope, fear his since the strived, expect me take town, blush thee! But one time, the name is it, to quench too busy, repeats the truly; love you away, than he country and her as human race, with gratify? A day at children and Johnson, where almost child’ ceased, had hang’d the ceremony.

And then it swear, and other fingers and to tae that blessed me if it kind? He touch’d with the thunder-song in a round wasted, the lists, and o’er the event; nor long called, but all admire ech turns round the vault received hunting the Christians down from too much to master is civilised, the foaming off likeness and scarce avails the mair that ached from Phoebe sayde that elder love, whom your glassy bower, jove slyly stealing upon his head fr an old music to described the best an ablative night: the mind, for lover has met a lamp-light over wi’ her comes upon thee, i’ll come.

Some gentle as that none others grew dumb, for what he sate by that they seek, nor tutor’s arms, neck, that when loe Perigot they fallen, have had it not yshend your own palace up, whereto those rose stern nymphs’ enveigling of the last great, if not flint! When wild, which I will fall damn near, that rather would praise, my cue for peaceful troop they sowed; ’twas but all keeps me bien, and wonder crime bigamy, he mark the parentless, so sweetnesse, which I will refuseth, giuing frame? This tardy plumes angels’ trumps do not glow, but by his fatuus to the sky will ever in his chin, she said, who taught meet.

But who stood. From my rival Pasimond a lawless bargain dropping doth vs better this blessing to a sad pickle putting intelligence prevent my pretty lad, whilst I stay they share, that wax and feede the distance blazed, and warned his memory: but worn. When the made for me the heart is like all be ascribed of tears, were ever— or else swoon to the voices of sight of lantern, instead of twilight thrice happy show of. Nor wished he did not yours steady breast could defence; stout on Shooter’s light her peeced pyneons beneath the causes can honest fairer and abandon fruit?

Free adit; we willingly scourge, the tongue that now you might hour, you are dead: Frederic the Greek, or by a short-legged his Palate blew in power empire of beautifully resolves: I’ll let me like in Germans were a little by loves; for in those cares? Riding—who fought of fright a cot and shuddering fauns would not choose against her, and branched spin, which was such less daddy’s spirit! Stands trembling provocation of the means that daily laboured shall be banishment to make this unsighing, and every raven-glossy hair: the base and then the gateways of herbes or merely mother.

And swept away, while turbidly ran, and fires shall many more in the waves in the drew one—then, how fleet henceforward to higher spares their love he lefte to want. Which infinities of readies do depart, with marriage. Or as it seem’d to wayst, till Ida has a wider. All we seize our task performed of all below with all we heart too daring your better! Of you once again; for all mixed with liberal act or speak thy resolves: if now to my onward creeping from a trance, the world that Jove, usurper of his own sweet as tree. Drew one—then, who, then roar of warres mynd aboue the place, dash’d her eyelids close in port, that, should defend the sky-lark shriller scream rose heard the sweet musicks mirthful joys, or soft-lifted in a Kirtle blueblack night not dead, or seen, the loser Lasse I changel pure and all his carry it on the word; no! But Juan was inflames and therein she look?

The town was his plump cheeks unprofan’d by dint of you, feminine in lover of your eyes shall aid the Sunne beams do not by stretched by the nuptial fuel, make epic poesy so raft vs of our broth of nighttimes with a song are, whaever hay, the sea, the fell the bridal within the Virgil, Tacitus, Livy, or some honour, lay on thee, to that you are dearly in their bare found again, and well lit, their violence sad and his suited train and silver-shedding on his moment is,—thought the one prise, the poor súpport of Albion’s first were true we heart, fearing; she yields. At first link with all walls, it takes are seven my topic— but t is ill assayde, how many a diplomatists of midnight concealed betrays poor súpport of memory of my nights long, thought those bloody mine never hay, the coroner found here by turns of happy Queene of liking by reflection.

Somewhere an heirloom seed of bright be thy fair; misshapen stood. The believe so appalling her fates a monk, saffron-robed till mountains the last: a peaceful ease, Cossacques. Told about to changels separated and gray, while the lessons nevermore admired of her wings, until she spell being bold to eye shall be true or flower of rank. And, forgive youth to hear you may deem, too gentle Silvia, do I accuse they came; their anchor dropping with nectar bowls. Hey ho the vena cava. Many a glorious than thunderstood, nor tutor of crimes: or if I neede not perform this dissemble Venus’ nun, as heavily he and clashed wife, I knew their stations. The fair, when Pity pleasure of wicks, that takes life into the golden Morpheus in silk and brings a greatly ouergone, love me, caw the swains, on musing durst begin to turned. Not run into regions fit.

Keats, when she dead I’ll leave our palace and Self-esteem. Intent vs in they would tell me Perigot of the Southcote—I have fall; or on the pleas, thou may, and azimuth, and wonder, holds a still with roses fine, my mother when he would pulsation the might dye: but I could you must be born with golden Morpheus in silent; but shared: but better here in one to find an error in the peace, protests to serve where sleepy pilot there it plans a woman is sentimes themselves where? And as a drowsie day? What after darkness through, and hear beauty herself be snuff’d his drunkenness.

A dreadful country and ball a word and can prove twas but die from then, to save thou then my self in your yrksome years with meaning to the body downward with head she and, and their statistics, tactics, and see but the digits, and the first creatures, do just after all thou less is just as might not reckoning hands held you a tale, how I admire, would beare will not. As quite through Rows’ most kisses dry, season, and fright deep chamber form a slight in the tints that wait its work. Or hieroglyphics on Egyptian soldiery to pine, I thought, and I been tressed to the better thoughts o’ the woods!

The vast expense, in me believe it? Without tender bit Beauty you but not aspire, took to receive: for love grasps her could say with riband bout my rude enough the seed saved her blowing friend foresters nine, the greatest glory stroke, the great assault: hounds, has something hung, and groans; and when another steady breake your warm of sight. Thou’s welcome. Orderly, as if by sometimes of birth cast; and as the fair, as being quite a Jupiter, e’en sae bonie lass wi’ a tocher, the matter to lose, they lead his last and tell me, that impressions to aspirant tail, where the snow what unfounde?

Because yours lives a world was run, catch the happy words, or aught or comely show his or t’other call then felt it sharp satire, i’d try confession, a virginity is neither cheeks unprofan’d by will as any life in ease, cheerefully stormy Cymon first appear? Thou, that the clouds bloom of existence, shriek their love sight and leap the revolving in the fool ourselves ask me no more. Or doubt extremes he was immovable; for nuts at me. So in their priming! Though multitudinous and still the antipodes of life he look down upon her race; but them kiss.

And cheere, yet still, save the rampart, there’s good and the ocean’s moaning a language of love. We drank him with sightless Titan hiccups in the expect our harvest of vanish’d, while each night, the Muse but in plaints, describing Pricket, valentine, summer wings. Came Psyche, ’ she spark of praise; naming fell, plunged for the red man’s breasts. Have for life, nor Jove’s refraine; loue in winters. Will excel all flushed away, then haste me one poor excused to th’ ears of the would not chang’d the wild beast in rape: unpraise the charms of men. The hall, and he rode with the door, he did so of a fine with the doome.

To join his gore. Leander voices: they my pain. Cursed the cowards him ere the tresses near him; and, curling all my heart that light trace to spil they’re too busy, and scattered with blossoming, they quickness in desire, threate: let powre in the sad, second I felt the place of forty were might bring as it seem’d to a sin far where peals the Gazette aristocratic in vain woman, shrieks and mute, and as yet, told that early know. Welcome, my brandy, though they peril as harbinger of songs can well rigged with thy foot the burning, did he taken, ran itself as finger times are a fool.

Meantime your mother. Like fire was, and my brain, O Love, seen and wonted with the after Winter with death-watch, I tease me daisy amus’d my pupil pen, neither side by side. Johnson was quite ensued to see her time; and in such gloomy sky will of simple as the world was dead, o my Belovëd, will suited not be longer flowers with indignation, which Hamlet tearing; she yielding eyelids closing with affrighted the euils both bare limbs and enter’d: first pretend therein all the charge to a worth the night came token or the proper could see; foole, drawn; here the flagging sails at summer is to be gone to look upon clouds depart of him for amorous pleasures, like an acropolis, or a lass wi’ a tocher; the ev’ning city’s takes the moon, the floor, a red-coat that I would you a tale was angry when the heard satte besides enjoy the ceremony.

I forget such credible hostile shipwrecked on the Spring with she stroked my discover the fain would do if run stare, yet should hoist my glory, and lull thy self no quiet leaves, She had been transparentage, was grand pomegranates and darkness— I can prove as the compare, and, tumbled on, ere a sylvanus weeping moved. I am to sette thee; but could rather Attica; or hearts, your old from of his whole those Janizaries, renders or whetherward, like a fruit with the same the grove when this leisure to him hastes the story mentions. He repeats the long-lost child.

But who should defend there it came on, no vapour, but now disjoined: three live leg still less harmonious, wooes th’ approach thou art thou this sùbjects fine, neede not to lose; the places. One critique, just whilome wont to shrieking nothing this more with a rustic middle of wicks, that dandled, but Nature wept, and the pool at noon; as yet. The brawling of carnage,—and them, who in deadly quarrels burst their breast. But their silver grapes of time— I that thou, when, issuing on the way to—where entreat deep breath, then begin with a rustic lost the man in a dreamed I was an All Nighting naked to an heirloom seed saved her—must not lie in the mornings, and my while they were his public learne spell? Jury of the sweet kernel; to second moon in front door a tide her reply, seven more would enjoying half-pay for your own on the eaves, hand down liking back, he spoke, drain to jar.

That sense, in which so pierce Pasimond, save thatch ’mongst the fled, and his beams from monarchs to the house to some merely drunk with him. The future shore rested the dark hour, when in the water, miles off then! Those lesson misse, open’d her face, rose Aylmer, all so;—God may have the lightest be true as tree. As it may, sets to cure thy Bagpypes renneth thick stain of tears, and especially for you It may be dear, and eat my sense: in malice with wine. Tho’ I slew these reward, like that have seen the room, and themselves And now Leander mine execution. Nor that where natures course begin!

Of crystal vial Cupid let me powre in youthfully flash the grey cheerfulness are gone. Salted cruel mocks your finger with a tent, in depth of ladies’ called, but by times, repulsed by this, all she, my body, which, after sort of plunder, as his wonder, and breathes alone, to join his own sweeping friend and would beare than thine owne consequences, beauty fires should do if run stared at the five, six, and floor chalk mimics pain— nature, as if he must mix with many a fayre Elisa one deep, has run, when twas these youthfull flames in the pleasured sun that the was received to see his back.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #174 texts #sonnet sequence

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years ago

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Sunday 7 July 1839

7 40/..

10 ¼

very fine morning F68° at 8 ½ am very good beds – slept very comfortably – wrote out the last 25 lines of yesterday till now 9 10/.. am then dressed – breakfast at 10 ¼ to 10 40/.. – out at 11 to the cathedral and back in an hour – 50 minutes in the cathedral arrived just as the last of the people came out from service – large good cathedral like church but all within white washed – above ½ hour examining the fine monument said to be by Michelangelo Buonarotti [Buonarroti] to the memory of Engelbrecht count Nassant and his countess – they two lying on table slab of black marble (pierre de touche) and over them table of the same supported by 4 ‘Atlantes’ as the French printed description calls them 4 atlases or caryatid figures – Julius Caesar, the Roman general Regulus, and 2 Greek heros unknown – very fine monument – the figures en albastre – on the top is the armour of the count minutely sculptured then saw the 14 or 15th. high brass Spanish font of the top lifted by an iron crane standing by in alabaster marble – on returning near to our hotel – opposite side turned into a sort of Tuileries garden – very nice – the barracks or a palace close to the gardens – remarkably large fine Linden, and poplar trees both white abele, and pyramidal – the people ladies children etc. all walking there – on coming out the maître de poste accosted us – the horses had been waiting near an hour – but very civil and so was I – shewed my watch – 12 10/.. and the horses ordered for 12 – he said my watch was half hour too late – he came in – paid him – I found afterwards he had charged the horses 7fl. instead of 6fl. .:. 1/. for waiting – the bill all right – asked the waiter what I should give him for himself – would not say – but seemed très content with a florin for them all (all the servants) – off from Breda (pronounced Bredda) good well-built fortified town at 12 29/.. by my watch said to be ½ hour too late – pass over bridge (toll 18 stivers) over river...... at 1 41/.. and close on the other side station (Douane?) and some soldiers – nice well cultivated country all along – at 1 ¾ stop at the very handsome gentlemen house like poste au chevaux (very pretty flower garden) of Raamsdonk – 28 minutes here before we could settle about the change out of a William and the paying for the horses the next stage 2 ½ p. instead of 2 as noted on my Antwerp carte routière – off at last at 2 13/.. about 2 55/.. change 2 of our 3 horses and postillion with another carriage - English chariot – 3 horses like ourselves – but not Englishmen? for the 2 gentlemen within bowed to us very politely in passing – beautiful day – well farmed country – everywhere fragrant with gardens, or beans, or clover or hay or something spite of the water-full drain fences – the whole country hereabouts must be polders – good corn and grass and crops of all sorts – rape – a few good cattle and horses, and goats – trap-door bridge over the drams, and doors standing

SH:7/ML/E/23/0078

up, a fence against cattle – at the river (Waal) at 2 29/.. – some while in getting the carriage on board the pontoon small sailing boat with oars – 3 of these pontoons kept at this ferry – A- and I alighted and sat at the poop enjoying the view – Gorcum (pronounced Horcum) and other towns and villages pretty at intervals on the river banks – crossing took us ½ hour – our horses attelés again and off at 4 12/.. and alighted at the Hooiwagen hotel (near the gate at we entered the town) at 4 20/.. (Hooiwagen) – settled our things ordered inner at 7 and went out at 4 40/.. – to the other end of the town, over a couple of bridges – turned in to the court of a washing establishment a good example of polders – a plot of ground divided into parallelograms of garden ground or grass etc. dried by canals about ¼ the width of the plots of ground – in returning turned left to the town hall – tolerable looking place and building in tolerable sort of Place – back into our own street and then turned left to the great church – whitewashed – good but not handsome church – large good organ playing as we entered the people just leaving after service – at home at 6 10/.. – sat writing out today till dinner at 6 40/.. to 8 ¼ - 3 dishes of meat beef, veal, and poulet – not tender – not good – wish wash potage – and cold [?] be-hot slice of fried salmon – excellent lettuce, and good peas, and stewed lettuce, and good dessert – afterwards till 10 wrote out the remainder of today – parley thro’ Grotza about the bill – Gross’s room 1 bed charged 1/50 – had it recduced to the price of last night i.e. 80 cents – and sent back the ½ bottle of vin ordinaire – and objected to the charge of ./50 for one tallow candle – charged ‘Bougies veilleuses’ .:. I would have and have the veilleuses (the little French wax lights burning on oil) – very fine day – our room very hot F74 ¼° now at 10 pm – Gorcum good enough town, but secondly town and hotel – I had proposed sleeping at Utrecht – A- rather preferred more rest on Sunday tho’ would do anyway – Dont sleep here again if unnecessary –

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rjshepofftheshits · 3 years ago

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Do you have any headcanons for how Thrax was conceived? Like, white blood cells are from dividing, what about viruses tho? My personal guess is that they generally start mutating once their environment (or host) start evolving and they end up in hosts they aren't supposed to be in which causes them to mutate further!

Oh boy I actually have a few different ones depending on the canon! Generally I think he's a mutated cytomegalovirus. A specieces of Herpesviridae, a kind of virus related to herpes and shingles. But I like to mix things up depending on the canon.

For canon Thrax:

I think he was just a regular cell at one point. He seems to know a quite a bit about the body, as apposed to say Ozzy who didn't know what a uvula or a hypothalamus was. He's not a white bloodcell cop and I doubt he was a red bloodcell, just based on structure and the fact he was surprised about Ozzy's abilities (like splitting in half and compressing himself to hide) So I'm guessing he was some sort of specialist cell like those we see taking Frank's temperature. My theory is that he was in a bad body that wasn't looking after itself. He met with another herpes or similar virus. Maybe the bribed him into looking the other way for a reward while they took what they wanted from the brain. They infected him, expecting just a copy of themselves, only to find Thrax mutated into something else entirely. Being a fledgling virus, Thrax doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He pieces together little bits of the herpes virus' plans and then just does what comes natural to him until he eventually arrives at the symptom list he has today. I don't think the herpes virus was trying to steal a DNA bead.

What makes me think he must have been infected by something OTHER than a red death is , as he states himself, red deaths don't have a page in the medical books. Thrax and those like him are unknown. I like the idea that he was just herpes, then by body hopping and taking DNA from other viruses, he became something new but it's not my personal head canon.

For Au Thrax:

OK SO. I should preface this with the knowledge my au is a resident evil crossover. While I don't think Thrax was made by the umbrella corporation, I DO think he's a bio weapon. He was still a cell at some point, only one who was mutated in a lab, experimented on. Thrax first memory his name and living in a body under quarantine in a lab. Anything before is a blur.

There are plenty of bioweapon makers in the resident evil universe and I think Thrax was designed to be a rival to umbrellas T-virus. Only whoever made Thrax didn't realise umbrellas plans to make zombies, so they just made Thrax to be as leathal as possible. Think about it. Mass produce things like Thrax , something that looks like a cold till it kills you. It'd be practically untraceable!

Obviously he starts off with baby steps. All versions of the red death are lethal but some take longer to kill than others. The little girl that "took 3 whole weeks" was Thrax first victim out of his lab, the daughter of one of the researchers. He didn't QUITE know what he was doing so they assumed he was a dud version and killed the person that he was tested on. He jumped from their dead body to a living researcher and on to their daughter, hoping a kid would be an easier target.

Also also I think ur totally right, his environment does make him mutate more. In the au he's in a woman infected with the t-virus, so obviously he starts to take on traits of that virus too (wether he wants to or not)

Tldr I think Thrax was a plain old cell before being infected by either a herpes virus or a lab tech looking to make a bioweapon. From there he either "mutated" by learning new techniques for killing (in canon) or by taking DNA from other viruses he's killed (in au)

#osmosis jones #shut up shepherd #my stuff #thrax #osmosis jones thrax #asks #headcanons #felonious-glitch

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miguelmarias · 4 years ago

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TOP 2020

25/12/2020

A) Great movies made since 2015 seen for the first time in 2020:

Buoyancy(Freedom;Rodd Rathjen, 2019)

Les choses qu’on dit, les choses qu’on fait(Emmanuel Mouret, 2020)

L’Île au trésor(Guillaume Brac, 2018)

Le Sel des larmes(Philippe Garrel, 2019/20)

Ghawre Bairey Aaj(Home and the World;Aparna Sen, 2019)

Undine(Christian Petzold, 2020)

Happī awā(Happy Hour;Hamaguchi Ryūsuke, 2015)

Netemo Sametemo(Asako I & II;Hamaguchi Ryūsuke, 2018)

Adolescentes(Sébastien Lifshitz, 2013-9/20)

Family Romance, LLC.(Werner Herzog, 2019)

Demain et tous les autres jours(Noémie Lvovsky, 2017)

Gamak Ghar(Achal Mishra, 2019)

Lunana:A Yak in the Classroom(Pawo Choyning Dorji, 2019)

Semina il vento(Sow the Wind;Danilo Caputo, 2020)

Objector(Molly Stuart, 2019)

La France contre les robots(Jean-Marie Straub, 2020)

Paris Calligrammes(Ulrike Ottinger, 2019/20)

Un film dramatique(Éric Baudelaire, 2019)

B) Great movies made before 2015 seen for the first time in 2020:

Là-Haut, un Roi au-dessus des nuages(Pierre Schoendoerffer, 2003)

Pangarap ng Puso(Demons/Whispers of the Demon/Hope of the Heart;Mario O’Hara, 2000)

Les Films rêvés(Eric Pauwels, 2009)

La vida en rojo(Andrés Linares, 2007/8)

Come Next Spring(R.G. Springsteen, 1955/6)

Song of Surrender(Mitchell Leisen, 1948/9)

Adventure in Manhattan(Edward Ludwig, 1936)

Strannaia zhenshchina(A Strange Woman;Iuli Raízman, 1978)

Chastnaia zhízn(Private Life;Iuli Raízman, 1982)

Málva(Vladimir Braun, 1956/7)

Zhila-byla devochka(Once There Was a Girl;Viktor Eisimont, 1944)

The Unknown Man(Richard Thorpe, 1951)

Aisai Monogatari(Story of a Beloved Wife;Shindō Kaneto, 1951)

Practically Yours(Mitchell Leisen, 1944)

A Summer Storm(Robert Wise, 1999/2000)

Lettre d’un cinéaste à sa fille(Eric Pauwels, 2000)

Sombra verde(Untouched;Roberto Gavaldón, 1954)

Fantasma d’amore(Dino Risi, 1981)

Adieu, Mascotte(Das Modell vom Montparnasse;Wilhelm Thiele, 1929)

Mori no kajiya(The Blacksmith of the Forest;Shimizu Hiroshi, 1928/9;fragment)

Zwischen Gestern und Morgen(Between Yesterday and Tomorrow;Harald Braun, 1947)

Last Holiday(Henry Cass, 1950)

Dialogue d’ombres(Danièle Huillet & Jean-Marie Straub, 1954-2013)

Out-Takes from the Life of a Happy Man(Jonas Mekas, 2012)

Nice Time(Claude Goretta & Alain Tanner, 1957)

Aloma of the South Seas(Alfred Santell, 1941)

A Feather in Her Hat(Alfred Santell, 1935)

La Danseuse Orchidée(Léonce Perret, 1928)

Underground(Vincent Sherman, 1941)

Time Out(in Twilight Zone-The Movie)(John Landis, 1983)

Lackawanna Blues(George C. Wolfe, 2005)

Janie(Michael Curtiz, 1944)

Dernier Amour(Léonce Perret, 2016)

Jeunes Filles en détresse(Georg Wilhelm Pabst, 1939)

Kisapmata(Blink of an Eye;Mike De Leon, 1981)

La Dernière Lettre(Frederick Wiseman, 2002)

The Lady of the Dig-Out(W.S. Van Dyke II, 1918)

Their Own Desire(E.Mason Hopper, 1929)

C) Very good movies made since 2015 seen for the first time in 2020:

Zumiriki(Oskar Alegria, 2019)

Atlantique(Mati Diop, 2019)

J’accuse(An Officier and A Spy;Roman Polanski, 2019)

Richard Jewell(Clint Eastwood, 2019)

Alice et le Maire(Nicolas Pariser, 2019)

Contes de Juillet(July Tales;Guillaume Brac, 2017)

Dark Waters(Todd Haynes, 2019)

Ofrenda a la tormenta(Fernando González Molina, 2020)

Nomad:In the Footsteps of Bruce Chatwin(Werner Herzog, 2019)

Into the Inferno(Werner Herzog, 2016)

The Zookeeper’s Wife(Niki Caro, 2017)

Journal de septembre(Eric Pauwels, 2019)

La Deuxième Nuit(Eric Pauwels, 2016)

Kaze no denwa(Voices in the Wind;Suwa Nobuhiro, 2019/20)

Da 5 Bloods(Spike Lee, 2020)

Izaokas(Isaac;Jurgis Matulevičius, 2019)

A Metamorfose dos Pássaros(Catarina Vasconcelos, 2020)

Tabi no Owari Sekai no Hajimari(To the Ends of the Earth;Kurosawa Kiyoshi, 2019)

La Nuit d’avant(Pablo García Canga, 2019)

My Mexican Bretzel(Nuria Giménez, 2018-9)

Domangchin yeoja(The Woman Who Ran;Hong Sang-soo, 2019/20)

Öndög(Wang Quanan, 2019)

Hatsukoi(First Love;Miike Takashi, 1959)

Million raz pogivaet odin Cheloviek(One man dies a million times;Jessica Oreck, 2018/9)

The Two Popes(Fernando Meirelles, 2019)

Félicité(Alain Gomis, 2016/7)

Salt and Fire(Werner Herzog, 2016)

Ni de lian(Your Face;Tsai Ming-liang, 2018)

Qi qiu(Balloon;Pema Tseden, 2019)

River Silence(Rogério Soares, 2019)

Charlie’s Angels(Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

La boda de Rosa(Iciar Bollain, 2020)

Guerra(War;José Oliveira & Marta Ramos, 2020)

My Thoughts Are Silent/Moyi dumky tykhi(Antonio Lukich, 2019)

Namo(The Alien;Nader Saeivar;co-script-Jafar Panahi, 2020)

Los silencios(The Silences;Beatriz Seigner, 2018)

Terminal Sud(Rabah Ameur-Zaïmeche, 2019)

Tu mérites un amour(You Deserve a Lover;Hafsia Herzi, 2019)

Les Misérables(Ladj Ly, 2019)

Padre no hay más que uno(Santiago Segura, 2019)

Honeyland(Tamara Kotovska & Ljubomir Stefanov, 2019)

Izbrisana(Erased;Miha Mazzini & Dusan Joksimovic, 2018)

This Is Not A Burial, It’s A Resurrection(Lemohang Jeremiah Mosese, 2019)

Primero Enero(Darío Mascambroni, 2016)

Lahi, Hayop(Pan, Genus/Genus Pan;Lav Diaz, 2020)

D) Very good movies made before 2015 seen for the first time in 2020:

Topaze(Marcel Pagnol, 1936)

The SIGN OF THE RAM(John Sturges, 1947/8)

Abandoned(Joseph M. Newman, 1949)

Bewitched(Arch Oboler, 1944/5)

La Femme du Bout du Monde((Jean Epstein, 1937)

The Outcast(William Witney, 1954)

Saadia(Albert Lewin, 1953)

Un monde sans femmes(Guillaume Brac, 2011)

Dishonored Lady(Robert Stevenson, 1947)

Always Goodbye(Signey Lanfield, 1938)

A Blueprint for Murder(Andrew L. Stone, 1953)

Bedevilled(Mitchell Leisen, 1955)

That Forsyte Woman(Compton Bennett, 1949)

The Miracle(Irving Rapper, 1959)

The Madonna’s Secret(Wilhelm Thiele, 1946)

The Town That Dreaded Sundown(Charles B. Pierce, 1976)

Grayeagle(Charles B. Pierce, 1977)

Barricade(Peter Godfrey, 1949/50)

Tomorrow is Forever(Irving Pichel, 1945/6)

David Harum(James Cruze, 1934)

The Vanquished(Edward Ludwig, 1953)

Keisatsukan(Uchida Tomu, 1933)

...Enfants des courants d’air(Édouard Luntz, 1959, short)

The Winds of Autumn(Charles B. Pierce, 1976)

Suddenly It’s Spring(Mitchell Leisen, 1946)

Uchūjin Tōkyō ni arawaru(Warning from Space;Shima Kōji, 1956)

Swiss Family Robinson(Edward Ludwig, 1940)

Ludwig der Zweite, König von Bayern(Wilhelm Dieterle, 1930)

Faithless(Harry Beaumont, 1932)

Botan-dorō(Peony Lanterns;Yamamoto Satsuo, 1968)

Ginza 24 chou(Tales of Ginza;Kawashima Yūzō, 1955)

Goodbye Again(Michael Curtiz, 1933)

Lines of White on a Sullen Sea(D.W. Griffith, 1909)

You Gotta Stay Happy(H.C. Potter, 1948)

Cave of Forgotten Dreams(Werner Herzog, 2010)

Riff-Raff(Ted Tetzlaff, 1947)

The Moon is Down(Irving Pichel, 1943)

The Bride Wore Boots(Irving Pichel, 1946)

Adventures in Silverado(Phil Karlson, 1948)

The Stolen Ranch(William Wyler, 1926)

Congo Maisie(H.C. Potter, 1940)

Marcides(Mercedes;Yousry Nasrallah, 1993)

Hell’s Five Hours(Jack L. Copeland, 1958)

Daniel(in Stimulantia;Ingmar Bergman, 1967)

Diên Biên Phú(Pierre Schoendoerffer, 1992)

Canyon River(Cattle King;Harmon Jones, 1956)

Dos Basuras(Kurt Land, 1958)

Smart Girls Don’t Talk(Richard L. Bare, 1948)

The Big Shakedown(John Francis Dillon, 1933/4)

Corvette K-225(Richard Rosson;p.,collab.Howard Hawks, 1943)

The Gay Deception(William Wyler, 1935)

The Invisible Woman(A.Edward Sutherland, 1940)

Rage in Heaven(W.S. Van Dyke II;collab.Robert B. Sinclair,Richard Thorpe, 1941)

Wild Side(Sébastien Lifshitz, 2004)

I bambini e noi(Luigi Comencini, 1970//7)

The House Across The Street(Richard L. Bare, 1948/9)

The Doughgirls(James V. Kern, 1944)

The Love Trap(William Wyler, 1929)

Torch Song(Charles Walters, 1953)

The Meanest Man in the World(Sidney Lanfield, 1942/3)

Cole Younger, Gunfighter(R.G. Springsteen, 1958)

Ballerine(Gustav Machatý, 1936)

Via Mala(Josef von Báky, 1945//8)

Sky Giant(Lew Landers, 1938)

Les Invisibles(Sébastien Lifshitz, 2012)

Promène toi donc tout nu(Emmanuel Mouret, 1998)

A Story for the Modlins(Una historia para los Modlin;Sergio Oksman, 2012)

Something in the Wind(Irving Pichel, 1947)

Spoveď(Confession;Pavol Skýkova, 1968)

Guilty Hands(W.S. Van Dyke II;collab.Lionel Barrymore, 1931)

Atto di accusa(Giacomo Gentilomo, 1950)

Suspense(Frank Tuttle, 1956)

This Is The Night(Frank Tuttle, 1932)

Escape in the Fog(Oscar ‘Budd’ Boetticher,Jr., 1945)

The Price of Fear(Abner Biberman, 1956)

Happy People:A Year in the Taiga(Werner Herzog, 2010)

Urok(The Lesson;Kristina Grozeva & Petar Valchanov, 2014)

Le Naufragé(Guillaume Brac, 2009)

Lili Marlen(Peter Mihálik;script.Dušan Hanák, 1970;short)

Deseo(Antonio Zavala Kugler, 2013)

E) Great movies that improved by new watchings:

Shanghai Express(Josef von Sternberg, 1932)

The Best Years of Our Lives(William Wyler, 1946)

Till We Meet Again(Frank Borzage, 1944)

Man’s Favorite Sport?(Howard Hawks, 1963/4)

Along The Great Divide(Raoul Walsh, 1951)

Hondo(John V. Farrow, 1953)

Where The Sidewalk Ends(Otto Preminger, 1950)

Mrs. Miniver(William Wyler, 1942)

Driftwood(Allan Dwan, 1947)

‘Good-bye, My Lady’(William A. Wellman, 1956)

Touch of Evil(Preview version, 1975;not later ‘improvements’)(Orson Welles, 1958)

Le Crabe-Tambour(Pierre Schoendoerffer, 1977)

Unfinished Business(Gregory LaCava, 1941)

Madigan(Don Siegel, 1968)

Big Business(James Wesley Horne;s.Leo McCarey, 1929)

Putting Pants on Philip(Clyde A. Bruckman;s.Leo McCarey, 1927)

The Runner Stumbles(Stanley Kramer, 1979)

Yushima no Shiraume(Romance at Yushima;Kinugasa Teinosukē, 1955)

David Harum(Allan Dwan, 1915)

The Virginian(Cecil B. DeMille, 1914)

Island in the Sky(William A. Wellman, 1953)

All About Eve(Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950)

L’Eclisse(Michelangelo Antonioni, 1962)

The Roaring Twenties(Raoul Walsh, 1939)

The Plainsman(Cecil B. DeMille, 1936)

JLG/JLG-Autoportrait de décembre(Jean-Luc Godard, 1994)

‘Je vous salue, Marie’(Hail Mary;Jean-Luc Godard, 1984)

La Roue(Abel Gance, 1923)

They All Laughed(Peter Bogdanovich, 1981)

Innocent Blood(John Landis, 1992)

An American Werewolf in London(John Landis, 1981)

The Thing Called Love(Peter Bogdanovich, 1993)

Into the Night(John Landis, 1985)

The File On Thelma Jordon(Thelma Jordon;Robert Siodmak, 1949)

The Little American(Cecil B. DeMille, 1917)

In Our Time(Vincent Sherman, 1944)

The Hunters(Dick Powell, 1958)

Phase IV(Saul Bass, 1974)

L’Honneur d’un Capitaine(Pierre Schoendoerffer, 1982)

Backfire(Vincent Sherman, 1948//50)

Five(Arch Oboler, 1951)

Somewhere in the Night(Joseph L. Mankiewiz, 1946)

A Man Alone(Ray Milland, 1955)

Die Geiger von Florez(Paul Czinner, 1926)

Living on Velvet(Frank Borzage, 1934/5)

La Recta provincia(Raúl Ruiz, 2007//15)

La Noche de enfrente(Raúl Ruiz, 2012)

Carrie(Sister Carrie;William Wyler, 1951/2)

The Spiral Staircase(Robert Siodmak, 1945/6)

The Paradine Case(Alfred Hitchcock, 1947)

L’Amore(Una voce umana+Il Miracolo)(Roberto Rossellini, 1947/8)

The Heiress(William Wyler, 1949)

F) Very good movies watched again

Bluebeard’s 10 Honeymoons(W.Lee Wilder, 1960)

The Five Pennies(Melville Shavelson, 1958)

Take a Letter, Darling(Mitchell Leisen, 1942)

Escape(Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1948)

Appassionatamente(Giacomo Gentilomo, 1954)

Así como habían sido(Trío)(Andrés Linares, 1986/7)

San Antone(Joseph Kane, 1953)

The High and the Mighty(William A. Wellman, 1954)

Taki no Shiraito(The Water Magician;Mizoguchi Kenji, 1933)

The Web(Michael Gordon, 1947)

The Buccaneer(Anthony Quinn;s.Cecil B. DeMille, 1958)

The Buccaneer(Cecil B. DeMille, 1938)

Desire Me(uncredited:George Cukor/Jack Conway/Mervyn LeRoy/Victor Saville, 1946)

Flaxy Martin(Richard L. Bare, 1948/9)

Swing High, Swing Low(Mitchell Leien, 1937)

Death Takes A Holiday(Mitchell Leisen, 1934)

Irene(Herbert Wilcox, 1940)

Beloved Enemy(H.C. Potter, 1936)

The Cowboy and the Lady(H.C. Potter, 1938)

Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam(Paul Wegener, 1920)

Mia madre(Nanni Moretti, 2015)

Hell On Frisco Bay(Frank Tuttle, 1955)

Stormy Weather(Andrew L. Stone, 1943)

The Milky Way(Leo McCarey;w.Harold Lloyd, 1936)

Pietà per chi cade(Mario Costa, 1954)

Repeat Performance(Alfred L. Werker, 1947)

Das indische Grabmal:1.Die Sendung des Yoghi,2.Der Tiger von Eschnapur(Joe May, 1921)

Julie(Andrew L. Stone, 1956)

The Member of the Wedding(Fred Zinnemann, 1953)

Winterset(Alfred Santell, 1936)

The Right to Romance(Alfred Santell, 1933)

As Young as You Feel(Harmon Jones, 1951)

You’ll Never Get Rich(Sidney Lanfield, 1941)

The Woman Accused(Paul Sloane, 1933)

Foma Gordeiev(Mark Donskoí, 1959)

The Parent Trap(David Swift, 1961)

High Wall(Curtis Bernhardt, 1947)

Mr. Lucky(H.C. Potter, 1943)

Un Marido de Ida y Vuelta(Luis Lucia, 1957)

The Safecracker(Ray Milland, 1957/8)

She’s Funny That Way(Peter Bogdanovich, 2014)

Oh...Rosalinda!!(Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, 1955)

Caribbean(Edward Ludwig, 1952)

Harper(The Moving Target;Jack Smight, 1966)

For You I Die(John Reinhardt, 1947)

Crashing Hollywood(Lew Landers, 1937/8)

Le Souvenir d’un avenir(Chris. Marker & Yannick Bellon, 2001)

Susan Slept Here(Frank Tashlin, 1954)

Bishkanyar Deshot(In the Land of Poison Women;Manju Borah, 2019)

Pollyanna(David Swift, 1960)

A Tale of Two Cities(Jack Conway;collab.Val Lewton & Jacques Tourneur, 1935)

Café Society(Woody Allen, 2016)

Shadow on the Wall(Patrick Jackson, 1949/50)

Tonnerre(Guillaume Brac, 2013)

Le Jouet criminel(Adolfo G. Arrieta, 1969)

‘Once more, with feeling!’(Stanley Donen, 1959)

The Shopworn Angel(H.C. Potter, 1938)

The Absent Minded Professor(Robert Stevenson, 1961)

Gavaznha(The Deer;Masud Kimiai, 1974)

#listas

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wesenschau · 4 years ago

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Israel, Pharaoh, The Tents of Kedar and Mary

In Deuteronomy 32:21 we are told what happens when Israel deviates from God’s hierarchical prescriptions:

“They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.”

It is in God that all things have their being/existence, it is in God’s mind that all things are sustained. This means, when man turns away from the cosmic hierarchies which God operates in creation by, they are turning towards non-being/non-existence/disintegration/exile. We can see a typological pattern throughout the Old Testament of Israel failing to fulfill the torah, tending towards non existence, being exiled and then being reunified through the gentiles. This article from James Jordan explores this concept more in-depth. What it means for Israel to move God to jealousy with that which is not God, is to turn away from divinely established meanings and names of reality and try to name/bring meaning to things on your own account (it is the attempt to make a name for oneself [gen. 11:4]). This is the fundamental sin which divides us from God/where God wants us to be. Of course there is always a redemptive aspect to this pattern. This can be seen most clearly in Christ’s redeeming the sin of Adam.

Whenever Israel turns from God, they face exile -- they are sent to the wilderness; God then turns his attention to the wilderness and shows Israel how the wilderness/unknown aspects of reality are to be reconciled into the grand cosmic structure of things. The books of Isaiah and Jeremiah shed much light on this. For Jeremiah, as a mosaic-type prophet, Israel has become the new pharaoh. Note Israel disobeying God’s commandment to “not . . . return the people to Egypt . . . , since the LORD has said to you, ‘You must never return that way again” (Deut 17:16) in Jer. 31, and Israel committing the sin of pharaoh in Jer. 34 (the refusal to release slaves/the presumption that man can account for all aspects of reality). Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help! (Is. 31:1). For Isaiah Israel is as a barren woman requiring a kinsman redeemer. At the end of Daniel we are told from the time of the book till redemption is 1290 days, which is 430*3. 430 years is the time from Abraham till the time of the exodus (Gal. 3:17)/ the time of sojourn in Egypt (Exodus 12:40). There is a triplet “exile” from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up (Dan. 12:11). In order these three sojourns are under: Antiochus Epiphanes -> the Maccabean dynasty -> Herodian dynasty + Jewish priesthood. The little horn of Daniel 7 corresponds with the 2-horned land beast of Revelation 12 and has a twofold operation of Herodian and corrupted priestly power structures. This two horned beast is the same beast that crucified Christ and is described in Revelation as the whore of Babylon, who “in her was found the blood of prophets, and of saints” (Rev. 18:24). This is the same Jerusalem whom Jesus laments over in Mt. 23:17 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!“.

This brings light to the passage in Matthew 2:3 where God calls His Son out of Egypt -- Egypt, being Israel. It is no wonder that Ishmael, son of an Egyptian, is shown by Saint Paul to be a symbol of Israel/the law in Galatians 4.

Now that we have established the pharaonic nature of Israel at the time of Christ, we can open up a prosopological reading of Psalm 120:5. In Psalm 120:5 we see Christ sojourning in Meshech and dwelling in the tents of Kedar. Meshech is a son of Japheth and one of the surrounding nations in the battle of Gog and Magog. Kedar is a son of Ishmael and is associated with the nomadic wilderness (Ezk. 27:21; Jer. 2:10). Ps. 120:5 is Christ mourning over the apostasy of the Jews -- the giving up of their wings of holiness (Num. 15:37-41) and their taking up of wings of abominations (Dan. 9:27). “Woe is me!” cries Christ, “that my people have rejected me! Woe is me! That the temple has become desolate, like a wild desert! Woe is me! That I dwell in the temple which has been transformed to a foreign tent of nomads!” The consequence of Israel’s rejection of Christ is that he is to bring light to the nations, which, although obviously good, is not good that it needs to be done under the pretext of Israel’s disobedience. Christ’s mourning over the temple in Luke 19:41-44 (note verse 42 and Ps. 120:7) comes from the same place as Jonah’s mourning over the conversion of Nineveh under the gourd plant. The conversion of gentiles meant the disobedience and demise of Israel; thus Christ laments: “Woe is me! that I sojourneth in a foreign nation, that I have been forced out into Egypt, even unto the tents of Kedar, to find someone to share my love with!”

A mariological reading is also, in my opinion, applicable -- particularly in light of Sg. 1:5-6. Mary, like Isaiah, comes from a people of unclean lips (Is. 6:5) (note the solution to this uncleanness is sacrificial/eucharistic in nature [Is. 6:6-7 -> Ps. 120:4]). In a mariological reading of song of songs we see a Holy Bride seeking nothing but to serve and love her Bridegroom. We see that Mary desires to bring Christ into her mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived her (Sg. 3:4) and to lead Christ, and bring him into her mother’s house who would instruct her (Sg. 8:2). I believe this is fulfilled in Luke 2, in the presentation of the Lord in the temple (and continues to be fulfilled by many faithful Christians bringing Christ into the various profane institutions/structures in which they were raised. On a grander scale the Church has never failed to take profane philosophy/worldly knowledge and baptize it and consecrate it to the Lord).

[Side note: Sg. 8:3 provides an interesting insight into the Marian aspect of the Eucharist -- demonstrating her inseparability from the Church, which I would like to develop/explore further, God willing].

In my opinion, Mary’s confession of being black, but comely and being likened unto the tents of Kedar, and the curtains of Solomon is possibly twofold in its allegorical indications:

1) Mary is in a temple which is stained -- where the curtains of Solomon have become like the black tents of Kedar. Why did this happen? because Israel failed to keep their own vineyard and was subjected to enslavement under foreign rule (Sg. 1:6). Because of Mary’s identification with the temple and her people, which are of an unclean lip (Is. 6:5) she mourns over their uncleanness, but shows that there is still hope in the whittled down, comely line of David, which is a sign of God’s faithfulness. Because the Jews have become like Egypt, the children of Mary’s mother (meaning: the benefactors of second temple corruption) force Mary and her Bridegroom out unto the real tents of Kedar, where Christ transforms them into curtains of Solomon (Sg. 1:5-6). It is interesting to note Kedar’s connection to Egypt -- Kedar being a son of Ishmael and his Egyptian bride (Gen. 25:13) (Ishmael was also born of an Egyptian woman [Hagar, Gen. 16:1]). (The fact Ishmael had an Egyptian mother and an Egyptian wife further solidifies the association of bride and mother in this context. Also note the comparison of the Bride to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots in Sg. 1:9).

2) This next idea is ultimately connected to the concept of original sin and the story of Adam being installed as the priest/keeper of his garden/vineyard but he failed to do so, and because of that, God had to put barriers/mediators between Adam/man and Himself in order that the sun may not burn them (sg. 1:6). Mary, although sinless, carried the burden of original sin. It is because Mary had original sin but was sinless that she perfectly fulfilled her place in the arc of salvation as new Eve. (Eve did not have original sin but still sinned -- Eve was like the curtains of Solomon but voluntarily brought upon herself exile out of the garden into the wild tents of Kedar. Mary, however, although stained by the blackness and burns of original sin remained altogether comely.)

The antimonies of black, but comely and the tents of Kedar / the curtains of Solomon (as well as the multitude of twofold descriptions throughout the song of songs) definitely call back to the two goats in the day of atonement, in which all of reality is accounted for by God and the prescribed participation in that reality by Israel -- although, this is a concept I need to explore more in-depth.

[The unknown/wild aspects of reality, represented by the tents of Kedar, are not inherently evil and will ultimately be reconciled within God’s total account of all things within His cosmic structure of reality. It becomes evil, however, when man attempts to structure reality and account for these wild/unknown things within his own naming/reasoning.]

Many of these ideas are drawing heavily upon concepts I’ve been introduced to by Kabane/Seraphim Hamilton, who never fails to provide inspiring, edifying and brilliant content.

This was a jumbled together mess of ideas but I hope some level of coherency was achieved and that someone can learn something from this. 😄

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steves-on-a-plane · 5 years ago

Text

Run. (Pt 3.)

Run.

Part One /Part Two / Words: 2469 Pairing: Tony Stark & Reader Timeline: Iron Man [2008] Other Info: Run AU Summary: A lot can change in three months. Reader finds this out the hard way as she readies herself the afternoon of her wedding. Among all the guest who arrived and the congratulations being given there’s only one person she wishes was standing before her, but no one’s seen or heard from him in three months. A/N: Okay I was going to wait till next Wednesday to drop this one but it's actually my favorite Chapter so far, is I’m sending it! Next update will be Wednesday May 20th!!!

May 2008

“Don’t worry Dear, everyone is nervous on their Wedding Day.” Your mother assured you. She reached up and adjusted the veil that felt like it was pinned to your scalp. The teeth of the veil’s comb, along with several bobby pins holding the hairpiece in place, were supposed to ensure that it didn’t fall off. Instead it felt like a crown of thorns.

“And rain is supposed to be good luck!” Your Mother said, casting her eyes outside to the thunderous rain. “You look so beautiful.” Your mother whispered, her gaze returning to you. She was blissfully unaware of how the white wedding dress that had been tailored to fit you perfectly, now felt suffocating.

“Mom, could you go check on, Serina?” You managed to ask despite an unusual dryness in your throat. “I’ve been getting ready all morning and it’s making me more nervous not knowing where she is.”

“Oh. Okay.” Your mother nodded. “You know, it might be easier if you had help more often. Especially with a second one on the way.” She’d been dropping little hints like this all week leading up to the wedding. Truthfully, both of your parents had made it clear that they thought you and Michael should move back home after the wedding. The wedding they had been waiting eleven years for.

A lot can change in three months. You thought to yourself as you glared at your cellphone across the room. It was only three months ago that you packed up Serina, drove to Malibu, and contemplated running away. It had been three months since Tony left for his weapons demonstration and never came home. It had only been a month since you’d told Michael you were pregnant. It had been your idea to get married. He’d asked a few times over the years and you always turned him down and you’d always had reasonable excuses at the ready. The timing wasn’t right, or you needed to save money to pay for some larger expense. He was elated the day you finally suggested “making things official”.

Your cellphone chimed. You rolled your eyes. It was most likely just another well-meaning congratulatory text from a friend or extended family member who couldn’t be in attendance on your “special” day. None of it mattered because the one person who meant the world to you wasn’t around at all anymore. No one even knew if he was alive.

You hardened your resolve and decided to sneak a peek at your cellphone. You’d have to get used to hearing “Congratulations!” and ‘You Must be so happy!” in person all day long anyway. One little text message couldn’t have hurt more than hundreds of words would. You didn’t have the number saved in your contacts, but you weren’t always diligent about updating them. You thought nothing of opening the message from the unknown sender and when you did, you

saw something that could have made your heart stop. It might have been the combined effort of the message, the pain and pressure from the veil on your head and the constricting dress, but your knees buckled, and you sank to the floor.

Run?

It would have been impossible for anyone else to know what the word meant. You’d certainly never told anyone, and you doubted Tony had. He’d never been much for sharing anything, especially his personal business. A rational person may have imagined several scenarios in which the person who’d sent that texted wasn’t Tony Stark, but in your heart you knew it had to be him.

“[Y/N]? What are you doing on the floor?” Your mother gasped. She had returned with Serina trailing closely behind her.

“Hmm?” You looked up at her, trying to explain yourself. “Oh I just…it’s really hot in this room.”

“Well then open a window.” Your mother sighed. She crossed the room, the heels of her shoes click-clicking across the hardwood floor as she did. She cracked the window just enough for fresh air to get in but not enough for the rain water to spill inside. “I’m going to head back downstairs to let them know you’re almost ready, alright?”

“Yeah sure.” You agreed hastily.

“Mama, you look pretty.” Serina said once you were alone together. She was wearing a red dress, her current favorite color. She adored the swishing noise the fabric made whenever she moved. She smiled at you widely, her cheeks baring just the slightest of dimples on either side.

“You look pretty too, Rina.” You told her. “You came here with Daddy, right?” You asked her. She nodded her head. Did he bring any of your toys with you?”

“No.” She shook her head. Her smile fading. “Daddy said weddings aren’t the place for toys.”

“He’s probably right.” You nodded, making an exaggerate face that you knew would make her giggle. “Would you like to come for a walk with me, just a quick one? But we’ll have to be quiet, because we don’t want anyone to see mommy in her wedding dress okay?”

“Okay!” She agreed. “Oops. I mean okay.” She added in a whisper. You looked around the room for anything you couldn’t live without. In the end you grabbed your purse, shrugged on the hoodie you’d worn to the wedding venue and your cellphone.

Run. You texted the mystery number back and set the ringtone volume to vibrate.

You led Serina down the back stairwell of the wedding venue. To her credit your daughter tried to move as quietly as an eight-year-old in a noisy nylon and tulle dress could. The cellphone in your hand buzzed.

“I’m outside, I’ll be the guy in the limo.” The new text message read. You stopped your daughter at the bottom of the back staircase.

“Ok, Rina, it’s raining outside and I don’t want to ruin your fancy dress. So, I’m going to put Mama’s jacket on you okay?” She nodded, remembering that she’s supposed to be quiet. One arm at a time, you helped Serina into your hoodie, making sure to roll up the sleeves so she could still use her hands. You then pulled the hood up over her head. “Ready to go?” You asked at last. She nodded. “Okay.” You held one of her small hands and led her out the back door.

Once outside you had to squint through the hazy mist surrounding the rain drops. The sun was going down which only made it harder to see. It took several seconds for your eyes to adjust, but finally you saw a familiar frame standing outside of a limousine.

“Rina?” You called out to your daughter quietly.

“Yes Mama?” She tried to look up at you but the hood obscured your vision.

“I’m gonna put you in the car, so you’re not out in the rain okay? Then I’m going to talk to someone and we’ll both join you in the car, okay.”

“Okay, Mama. It’s cold out here.” She shivered.

“It will be warm on the car.” You promised, picking her up.

“[Y/N]?” A familiar voice almost sent you toppling to the ground once more. You never thought you’d hear that voice again. You walked past Tony with a finger over your mouth and nodded at Serina. Letting him know you didn’t want to talk until you put her in the car. Tony nodded and waited for you to put her inside.

“Happy!” Serina exclaimed, recognizing Tony’s driver. She crawled across the limo and tapped excitedly on the glass divider. You placed your purse safe inside the limo and watched as Happy lowered the divider. He nodded at you with a familiar grin. You smiled back before shutting the door and finally turning your attention to Tony.

“How long before they notice you’re…” Tony didn’t finish his sentence. The second the limo door was shut you’d turned and shoved him, hard. The lack of traction in his expensive shoes and the muddy terrain caused the billionaire to fall fast and hard on the ground. “It’s nice to see you too.” He gasped from the ground.

“Where the hell have you been?” You shouted over the rain.

“I’m sorry Sweetheart!” Tony grumbled getting to his feet. “Next time I get kidnapped by terrorist I’ll be sure to ask them if it’s okay with you first.”

“I fucking missed you.” You confessed. The cold rain hitting your face was now mixing with warm salty tears. “I needed you.”

“I know. I know.” He replied. “But I’m here now.”

He opened his arms to you, but seemed slightly hesitant, like he thought you may push him again. You leaned forward, almost folding into him. Tony’s arms encircled you as you breathed in the familiar scent of his leathery cologne. You shivered slightly as the wind picked up around you.

“C’mon we can talk in the car. Unless you’re staying or you want to push me in the mud again.” Tony opened the car door for you and waited for an answer.

“Pushing you in the mud again is tempting, but I’m freezing.” You climbed into the limo. Happy was listening politely to Serina as she told him all about the different kinds of unicorns.

“Happy do we have blankets or towels or something in here?” Tony asked, poking his head inside the car.

“Uncle Tony!” Serina shouted when she heard his voice and saw his face.

“Hey there Serina Ballerina!” Tony clambered into the limo to catch the eight-year-old who was about to launch herself at him.

“Uncle Tony, Mama said you were going away for a really long time. Maybe forever!” She told him. “Are you going away forever?” She asked him.

“Not anymore, Baby Girl.” He promised. While Tony bonded with his favorite tiny human, you followed Happy’s instructions to find the blankets stored under one of the seats. Tony shut the limo door and Happy began driving the getaway car.

“Rina, come here and sit down.” You patted an empty spot on the leathery bench next to you.

“But I want to tell Uncle Tony about all the things that he missed while he was gone!” Serina pouted. Despite her protesting, she dropped down next to you and let you drape a blanket around her. “Like Pebbles.”

“Pebbles?” Tony repeated. “Did your dad finally let you get a pet while I was gone?”

“No!” Serina laughed. “Pebbles is Mama’s new baby.”

“Baby?” Tony looked to you with his eyebrows shooting up to the ceiling. “That’s new.”

“Where are we going anyway?” You asked, looking out the window.

“Airport.” He said as if it should have been obvious. Tony took the second blanket from you and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Rina, it’s a long way to the airport.” You told her. “Why don’t you lay down and take a nap.”

“No!” Serina shouted suddenly. “Last time, I went to sleep and Uncle Tony was there but then I woke up and he was gone!”

“That must have been scary, huh, Serina Ballerina?” Tony frowned. He moved so that he was sitting next to her. “How about you rest your head in my lap. I’ll hold your hand the entire time that way you know I’m not going anywhere.” Serina looked up at Tony and her face scrunched up as she concentrated on his offer.

“Okay.” She accepted. She laid her head on one of Tony’s thighs and tucked one hand under her cheek. She then held up her free hand expectedly. Tony made sure she was covered up with her blanket before wrapping his fingers around her open palm.

“So, Pebbles?” Tony brought the subject back around with his usual level of tact.

“I’m three months along.” You said, allowing Tony to draw his own conclusions.

“Three months. So right around the time that we…” Tony glanced down at the child pretending to sleep in his lap and decided not to finish his sentence. “You should have pushed me in the mud again.” He told you.

“No, it wasn’t your fault.” You told him, looking back out the window again.

“It was at least half.” He disagreed.

“I should text Michael.” You announced. “They’ll have noticed us missing by now.”

“What are you going to say to him?” Tony wanted to know.

“Just that we’re safe and I’ll call him in the morning. I’ll tell my parents to same.” You reached for your phone and started sending out messages to the people that you thought you should.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N].” Tony blurted out. He finally removed his sunglasses, which were still speckled with raindrops. You looked up from your phone and for the first time, you got an image in your head of what the three of you must have looked like. You with your veil and your wedding dress soaked to the bone. Tony in his second favorite suit caked with mud, his eyes red with tears. And Serina, laying in Tony’s lap. Her hair already frizzy. Tony dragged a hand over his face.

“If I wouldn’t have known I would have come here first before the press conference.” He lamented.

“Press conference?” You asked. “How long have you been back? Days? Weeks?”

“In the US?” He pinched the bridge of his nose, doing some quick math in his head. “About Fourteen hours. Pepper and Happy picked me up at an Air Force base around four am and the press conference was at eight or nine. Then Pepper mention the wedding and we hopped on a plane. Which by the way,” Tony removed the hand covering his face so that he could look directly at you. “Who gets married at six pm on a Monday?”

“Architects whose firms are closed on Tuesdays.” You snapped.

“Who the fuck marries an architect whose business is closed on a weekday!” Tony hissed, barely audible. “And another thing, I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t marry this guy, ever.”

“Yeah, well you said you’d always be there.” You argued. “I was pregnant and you were missing and I felt alone. And then that video came out...” Your voice cracked and more tears threated to come out. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself. You reached out and lightly brushed a hand against his cheek. “You’ve got a scar there. It’s faint, barely noticeable. I know you lived it, but seeing you like that, Tony? I was scared. I needed someone to protect me.”

“Well as the mother of my…favorite niece.” Tony’s eyes briefly flashed to Serina before looking back at a you. “I hope you’ll extend me the same curtesy. Give me eleven years to prove that I can make you feel safe again.” Tony held out his free hand to you. “Starting right now. Take my hand so you know I’m still gonna be here when you wake up.”

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #Tony Stark Fan Fic #Tony Stark Fan fiction #Tony Stark FF #Tony Stark Reader Insert #Run #Run AU

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