#do NOT say anything abt my handwriting I Will Scream

[beetlbi]

This is technically for @less-depresso-more-espresso’s dtiys but I went so far off prompt,,, raph is there in a dress and she’s cuddling mayhem but.. uh anyway! This is inspired by the fact I’ve been swaddling my cat a lot lately and he absolutely LOVES it

Here’s how to swaddle your mayhem

Congrats espresso!! Ur the one who got me on the transfem raph train and I salute u for that o7

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

Hi! Imma do something rare and actually make content, but its 11 at night and i just had a brain worm

for those of you that don’t know, i work at an accounting office. we do taxes. it is tax season. and now im thinking abt how AGSZC does taxes and what their papers are like and im inflicting it on the rest of you even if its gibberish

Angeal: A godsend. Keeps his forms in order and filed properly, calculates everything else himself like a good man. Papers honestly aren’t too bad, maybe 10-12 just because of his career/insurance plus his doubtless donations to charity, but aside from that. straightforward and done at his kitchen table

Genesis: A fucking NIGHTMARE. no doubt pays someone else to do it. and for fucks sake, i know he invests. constantly and consistently and probably in anything he thinks stands the slightest chance against shinra on the market. his 1099-B is a mess and definitely Not Totaled, so his is the bullshit you have to insert one. investment. at. a time. He’s the type that keeps fucking calling too, I can just tell. but, aside from the 1099-B, he’s probably got simple stuff as well. probably several 1099-INTs from several different bank accounts, maybe a couple 1098s floating around from vacation houses or some shit.

Sephiroth: Does his own. In ridiculously early. Makes almost no personal purchases so hardly has anything to pay. I can’t imagine not having a last name or not knowing his birthday doesn’t end up a legal problem somehow, so he likely has to walk directly into a damn tax office to say hey this is me and this is my shit no, someone isn’t stealing my identity. has one singular document and it’s his W-2. Which is. Fucking astronomical. Like, the number doesn’t even look right. His paycheck as a SOLDIER isn’t taxed, so he doesn’t really get much back on his refund. The only first without a healthcare /insurance form because why tf would Sephiroth have healthcare? What’s he gonna do, get sick?

not getting into how doing his own taxes was definitely a fight between him and Hojo at some point and ended up getting hashed out in a board room. Hojo didn’t like him having the autonomy of filing for himself instead of being claimed ad Hojo’s ‘dependent’. Sephiroth deadass threatened to go to court abt it. The President told Hojo to suck it up so they didn’t have to deal with scandal, Hojo wouldn’t tell Seph his birthday to be difficult, and here we are

Zack: Panicking. Late. Doesn’t know if his forms came in the mail, doesn’t know where he put them most of the time. Scrambles around for a fuck ton of receipts, ultimately has to request Shinra send him his shit again. DEFINITELY pays someone else to do it. W-2, 1095-A, 1099-C(s)(he has several debts i can feel it i love him but he screams bad financial decisions), probably some shit for his bike too. He customs it so I can see him listing some parts he buys for it as work expenses. Jokingly puts some money he gave aerith for flowers and what he spent to make her wagon as donations to charity and it actually goes through because the church is still considered a legal entity. Definitely has to pay late fees.

Cloud: Pays Tifa to do it. Filing for both of them is a nightmare cause all their shit burnt in Nibelheim, so once Edge gets right with the WRO they have to do all their paperwork from scratch and get reassigned SSNs. He genuinely has a fuckton of paperwork from doing the Strife Delivery Service. Luckily, only ‘employee’ he has is Tifa, and even then she doesn’t do things regularly aside from pick up the phone. Doesn’t make his business an LLC until he’s literally forced to due to his number of clients and someone trying to sue him for damages. 1099-NEC for TIfa for sure, then once he’s an LLC, some yearly maintenance to keep legal. Mileage and gas expenses go CRAZY on his self employment form, I fucking bet. I bet Cloud’s handwriting is shit tho. Tifa’s at her desk counting up his gains and losses for fucking ages because his fives look too similar to sixes. Eventually she wrangles him into installing some shit on his phone that counts it up, if only to cure her headache. Funnily enough, he does get veteran benefits from what’s left of Shinra’s shit, reparations of sorts, but he doesn’t keep it. All goes to charity, so that ends up in the books too.

alright, that was unnecessarily in depth and way longer than i planned. good night LMAO

[paxmorgana]

Militsioner Hc post bc I am cringe but I am free:

Heads up, I haven’t gotten my grubby little hands on the demo quite yet, so don’t expect perfection here!!

-So, Slavic language branch, right? I feel like our mili would at least understand some other Slavic languages, maybe even speak a little. For self-indulgent reasons, I’d like to think he has a pretty ok grasp on polish, particularly. Can’t write in any other language to save his life, though.

-In the same vein, this man has barely illegible handwriting. I know he writes poetry, but I’m starting to think maybe there’s a reason HE has to read it to the player.

-I hc his height being around 1,500 feet maybe?? Not much to compare him to, so this is really just eyeballing.

-It’s given that he’s actually pretty sensitive! His emotions are also very prone to sudden changes from what I’ve seen, and he clearly isn’t very happy overall. Until directly exposed to stimuli, though, he’s very monotone. I kind of interpret this as some kind of masking or emotional suppression.

-Ofc the moment thunderstorms come around that all goes away (canon, for whoever didn’t know). This man has very real panic attacks and will shut down. The worst part about all that, though, is that he physically can’t move anywhere or even shake too much. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIM. He would kill people, and he knows it so well. Mili can’t even let himself scream because that’d probably blow people’s eardrums out. He just has to hunker down, internalize absolutely everything and sob as quietly as he can, though of course, that’d be heard too.

-I’m linking that back to him hiding emotions most of the time, that behavior is so intense during his panic episodes that I feel like it’d carry over into day to day life. That’s why he’s so receptive to basic kindness. It’s literally the only comfort he has, and the only time he can break from masking everything ever, and he’s still subtle then.

-Something something anxiety disorder perchance..

-Also someone on here talked about the militsioner being autistic and let’s just say I’m pretty happy abt that one :)))

-Mili gets so attached to anyone who even cares to be nice to him. If they betrayed him and left on the train, he wouldn’t even know what to do with himself. He’d just be fully bewildered and inconsolable.

-If he were normally sized and whatnot, he’d be terrified of horses. No explanation or anything. They’d just freak him out.

-I feel like he’d enjoy classical music, specifically Tchaikovsky and Chopin. Very melody-rich and sophisticated. He’d wag his finger and pretend to be conducting very badly. My little (humongous) king of cring..

-Mili likes being read to! He loves listening to people talk to him. He’s a wonderful listener and just quietly melts away at that kind of affection.

-In the rare occasion of which someone falls asleep on him, he just totally freezes. Mili gets so awkward with it bc he’s terrified of screwing it all up. No doubt he’d be staring at them the entire time, though. Just.. totally mesmerized.

-I think someone else said this before, but if he were a bird, I think Mili would be a shoebill.

That’s about it now BYE don’t look at me

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

2 + 3 + 12 + 33!!!!

had to fish around to find that ask game again!!!!! also hiiiii better late than never :))) :}}}}} <3 i need to tell u smth abt kleo i have Thoughts (not big thoughts this sounds as if its big it isnt i just reconsidered my initial statement that u might not like iiiiit)

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel that youre unable to??

oh yes!!! so much!!!!! even the things im writing bring me constantly into a situation of hair-tearing-out crying-clawing-screaming hitting-head-against-the-wall. i flip-flop between thinking i cant even write what im writing and thinking that im kinda decent. hhhhh. anyway!!!!!

i want to write a solid longfic with extensive worldbuilding. it doesnt matter the genre, just solid and rich worldbuilding where the writing stays consistent and steady until the end is already good. but if i could specifiy, i yearn for it to be a canon compliant/canon divergence/canon era fic with a unique take on canon. i want to write canon era fics in general, but im always hesitant to. i know what happens when i fall into a research hole, it fires up my anxiety. and i want to write scifi or a cool space opera. and i want to be able to write novel fic (of tyk) and not want to die during the process. all these things feel impossible to me :]]]]]]]]

3. how would u describe ur writing style?

i had to think about this for a bit!!!! because my writing style is unfortunately directly connected to my mental stability which is not always. stable. huehe. hmmmm i think my style (given that im doing good!) leans very hard into economical but evocative storytelling; like, i mean the rhythm of oral storytelling. stream of consciousness. prose poetry. poetry slam. i want the words to explode in your mouth and i want it to paint a very clear image in your head. i want people to hear me telling the story! even if the reader (or listener!) cant be there to experience it for themselves, at least i can tell them about it! thats probably because my first experience with story as a concept comes from audio dramas and generally someone reading something to me. thats honestly still the medium i prefer, tbh.

12. if you write in more than one language, whats the difference?

TvvvvvvT

currently i dont write in more than one language, if u dont count non-fictional handwriting bc i write all my notes in my native language. but i still remember how it used to be to write creatively in german. like im always whining about how difficult it is to cast the same image in english as in german; i just dont have that fine motor control over english as i have over german. i can easily switch between gears in german but english still ,, befuddles me pfft. its most noticable when im mucking around drafting and spend more time thinking about fun stuff like correct grammar and correct sentence structure and which word means what in english, than about the story and the characters. it takes so much energy and effort to think about and of all of this, there is barely any space left for the story that im trying to tell. which is def a major drawback for me and one of the reasons that ive been considering to start writing in german again. even though i have uh some baggage there that i dont really want to face. language is so connected to identity and culture. and thats another reason why english is difficult; i know english, aside from school, mostly from usamerican books or from online interactions with usamericans or people talking usamerican. so that has ofc heavily influenced my own english. like, i set all my stories in germany for reasons, but its stupidly hard to draw up the cultural markers because the language itself that im using is already coming with cultural influences from another country. its really strange and confusing, and i would find it fascinating and interesting if it wasnt so frustrating. sometimes it feels like there is a veil between me and what im trying to say, and also as if my thought patterns dont work as they would because the language that should just be a tool to tell a story is already so dominant. thats def smth i hope to change in the future

33. give your writing a compliment!

hmmm. its very earnest. reading my own stuff, even old stuff, i can tell what sort of struggles made it hard to get smth specific onto the page. and sometimes what ends up on the page is not what was supposed to be there in the first place. but its earnest and i can see that. its always the best i can do in that moment, and its always a piece of me because i give so much of myself during the process. thats not always a good thing but its how i am. im glad the earnestness, the sincerity, the love, the faith, the hope, is so visible to the bare eye.

yet another writing ask

[beanmochiii]

By god I must info dump

Ok so this is abt an au I’ve made for my city under the rails story. In canon near the end, shorty stabs keoni while being kind of possessed by the crystal. This may not make sense but basically shorty is possessed by a corrupted angry god. In canon keoni breaks down wailing/screaming because of the pain and stress of being attacked by ur best friend, and this snaps shorty out of the possession. But in this au, keoni instead just takes the pain kinda, and says to shorty that it’s ok, he forgives them, he knows they don’t mean it, and so on. Shorty comes to after keonis died, and theyre very dazed. Their brain isn’t really letting them process what’s happening.

The crystal(who is now uncorrrupted because hero did the sacrificing herself to heal the crystal thing still) feels bad so it like elevators shorty back up to the surface forest. Shorty stumbles out of the forest back to their city and is quickly recognized. They’re back with their parents(strict n not great tbh) and they can’t remember what they were doing in the forest for the past *7 months apparently.*

Through the next few months shorty struggles to adjust back to normal life, they don’t like geology anymore and they don’t know why, they sometimes forget whole days for seemingly no reason at all, and they’re imagining a friend. He’s witty and good company, so shorty doesn’t really want to stop imagining him. Shorty is slowly losing their old friends, and it’s their own fault. They’re too different after the forest. They start imagining keoni almost every part of the day.

Until, suddenly they’ve lost a week and a half of memory and keoni doesn’t come around anymore. No matter how hard they try to imagine him.

Shorty gets a therapist.

Things aren’t really adding up, they have images in their phone with time stamps that date them during the forest that they just can’t see and are terrified to show anyone else. They don’t understand this overwhelming sickening fear they get when they try to see the photos, try to think about their time in the forest, try to imagine up keoni. They’re forgetting more and more days. They start to keep a journal.

Entry 47

i had a dream last night where I can’t see anything but red. I can hear keoni speaking to me, saying things like “it’s ok” “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean it” I think this is close, I feel like throwing up just writing-

Slowly, theyre able to remember more and more. They don’t have to write down every thought that feels treacherous. They think they’ll actually start talking with their therapist about this stuff.

(These arent necessarily set right then^ they’d probably have to get a few more clues to piece it together)

(gonna rb with more images cuz tumblrs image limit) (writing the dialougue cuz my handwriting has that adhd scrawl

shorty; i think i might’ve… killed someone… it’s- its hard to think about.

therapist; understandable

shorty; yeah well- god you look like him sometimes. My brain keeps fucking me over. Forgetting it all. I wouldn’t be surprised if i’ve figured it out before.)

[zoefandom127]

Here’s what i imagine Rose’s thoughts are while she’s writing Wake Up. Did anyone ask for this? No. Did I stay up until 2 am writing it? Yes. Yes I did.

Summary: She was Rose Molina for heaven's sake. She was inherently too stubborn to die. Or so she thought.

Here’s The One Thing I Want You To Know

It was almost time.

She was leaving everyone behind.

Her parents, Victoria, Bobby.

The kids. Ray.

She didn't know if she could do it.

She was Rose Molina for heaven's sake. She was inherently too stubborn to die.

Or so she thought.

Ray he...he's going to be so lost, so heartbroken. She remembers a time when their relationship was still fresh. On the third date, he told her he was in love with her. It came out fast and he covered his mouth as if he didn't mean to say it. His eyes were wide as he tried to apologize. When he walked her home, on her front porch she gave him a kiss and whispered in his ear "I love you too."

She didn't want to leave him alone. She didn't want him to have to handle everything by himself—the bills, the chores, the kids. No doubt he'd say he wouldn't be ready for it, ready to live without her.

But...there wasn't a choice. There was nothing else no one could do.

He'll be able to handle it. She knows he will. He'll say he won't but he's strong. Stronger than he gives himself credit for. He can and will find a way to balance it all. For her, she knows he will.

And Carlos.

He was so young.

Has she been there enough? Has she spent enough time with him?

She can't leave now. No, she has to be there for her baby. Her sweet, sweet Carlos. She hasn't experienced enough with him. He hasn't experienced enough with her. They haven't had enough time. At this age...kids need their mother. They need both parents present.

Stop.

She's been down this road before. "There's nothing we can do, Mrs. Molina," they said, "We're sorry." There's nothing they can do.

Carlos...he would be fine. He would be okay. Ray would take care of him. Ray is the best man she knows. He has enough love to last a lifetime. Their kids are in good hands. Amazing, beautiful, loving hands. They'd be fine.

But…

Julie.

That girl...she didn't even know what to say.

Julie is a musical genius. A prodigy. She...she really wanted to see her prosper and grow into her beauty and musicality. She knew Julie wanted her there too. But there is not enough time. And that's okay (it's not). It'll be okay.

She had wanted to be there to watch Julie become big because she knew her bebita would be big. A talented, beautiful young lady who took no bullshit from anyone and who stayed true to herself. Just like her mother.

Now Julie, bless her heart, she would be a wreck for a bit. She knew it. She knew how close she was with her daughter, how much of an impact she had on her with the music they made. But she'd find her way. Julie is one of the most persistent, gifted people she had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Her family would be fine without her. This would shake them but the Molina's were stubborn (they got it from her) and persevering (definitely got that from Ray). It doesn't matter what breaks them, they will get back up again. No matter how long it takes.

Carlos, that beautiful soul of a child, would be anything and everything she knew he could be.

Ray, the best man she had ever known, would be anything and everything she knew he could be.

Her baby, her Julie, would be anything and everything she knew she could be.

They can't focus on her. They can't focus on what's gone, what's lost. It's like she always said—it's not what you lost, it's what you gain.

Hm. That's a good lyric.

Of course, Rose Molina was thinking about song lyrics on her deathbed. Typical.

And...appropriate.

Where was that notepad the doctors had used to write down her heart rate and stuff?

Let's see…

What would she want to leave them for after she's gone?

Here's the one thing

I want you to know

You've got someplace to go

Okay, good start Rose, you still got it.

Life's a test, yes

But you face it head-on

Hm. Doesn't rhyme. Should it rhyme for all of it? It already rhymes in the first verse.

Life's a test, yes

But you go toe to toe

Better.

You don't give up, no

You grow

She was already humming the potential melody beneath her breath even though the short rasps messed with the fluidity of her voice. Maybe she could get a keyboard in here, though it wouldn’t sound as good as the piano at home.

Man, she missed that piano. She missed home.

And you use the pain

Cause it makes you you

Though I wish I could you through it

And she did. So much.

Tears were pricking the corners of her eyes. No crying, Rose. Write the song.

I know it's not the same

You got living to do

And I just want you to do it

They had to move on. The thought of them doing it without her caused a pang in her heart that wasn't from the port currently residing in her chest.

So get up

Get out

Relight that spark

You know the rest by heart

Her family could do it. She had faith wholeheartedly that they would wake up and live their lives the way they wanted to. Even if she's not there. There's nothing she wants more for them.

Wake up, wake up if it's all you do

Look out, look inside of you

This whole cancer thing is really putting a damper on her handwriting. She'd have to ask the nurse for a computer so she can actually put it all to music. They wouldn't refuse a stage 4 cancer patient from using the hospital printer, would they?

It's not what you lost

It's what you gain

Raising your voice to the rain

Damn it, Rose, you've done it again. It's nice to know she was going to die with her musical abilities still intact. The Lord is good (she could almost hear Victoria screaming "Amen" in response).

She could see it now—Julie would be sitting at the piano, singing her words to Carlos and Ray. It'd be one last reminder that she was and always will be with them. Death couldn't get rid of her that easily.

Maybe, it'd be enough. Hopefully, whatever they're going through, this will help them through it.

Rose pressed the alert button to get the nurse in the room.

She needed that computer stat.

I feel like Rose would joke a little (in her mind, not out loud) about her cancer. Me and my friend used to joke all the time abt my her cancer. And she’s the one who started the jokes. (Her name in my phone used to be Lil Kèymoh). Dark humor is definitely how we got by. Anyways, plz go to ff.net and ao3 and show some love to this if u liked it!! Goodbye-bye.

[sugako]

Goodnight

synopsis:  You transfer to Belgrave and become a grad assistant with Hamish. The two of you plan on grading papers together at his apartment (not the den) make it a drinking game, get drunk, and makeout.

word count: 2811 (abt 6 pages juicy stuff happens after 3rd space break) 

pairing: hamish duke x reader

warnings: drinking (A LOT), kissing & making out, some sad test grades 

preview

Hamish had been very wrong. Although you had suggested this, it was, indeed, a very horrible idea. You were fully gone before you had finished four out of the fifteen exams you had. Hamish, on the other hand, was going strong and finishing up his seventh exam. 

 A really good essay answer or super insightful response got you a sip of water or a cracker if you wanted.  Simple mistakes were a shot of orange liqueur.   

Average to slightly bad mistakes were a shot of vodka. 

 Horrible, ridiculous mistakes were a drop of absinthe with some water.

“They asked for another exam!” You huffed. “They just bitched about having to read twenty pages for this week and they want a whole exam?!”

Hamish chuckled, barely glancing up from his book.

Okay. So it wasn’t as if you were really furious with this group of underclassmen who nearly cried every time they had a quiz. To be fairer, it was really only two of them that caused an issue, the rest remained silent or voiced their disdain for the complainers which you didn’t openly condone, but did appreciate. You didn’t think they realized it was more work for you and Hamish though. With the regular professor on sudden sabbatical, the two of you were fully in charge of the class now. Although it was merely an intro philosophy class, the school had thankfully compensated you for it.

1 Week Later: Immediately Following the Exam

“Do you want to grade these together to make sure we mark the same things?” You asked nonchalantly, grabbing your lunch from the faculty fridge. Hamish was a nice, handsome, single man with a great personality and a brilliant mind to boot. Not ready to truly shoot your shot, you decided to be more subtle.

“That is a fantastic idea. Where and when were you thinking?” He sat adjacent to you sipping an espresso. It was like he only lived off of booze and coffee.

“Tonight is my best free night unless you have a better Friday night planned. And probably not at my apartment, my roommate is going to have some guy over and she loves to just stay out in the living room and let everything out in the open.” You said.

“Then my apartment sounds like a much better place. We can meet at the Chalice and walk to my place from there?”

“That sounds great! I’ll see you then.”

When you walked into the bar you spotted Hamish with two other people in the back. Keeping your eyes trained on just him you made your way to the table, but one of them saw you first.

The girl whipped around, anger and defensiveness in her eyes already.

“What do you want?” She snipped.

Cocking your head you pointed at Hamish, who was already trying to quell her.

“I’m just here to grade some exams.”

“She’s here for me, Lilith. This is Y/N, I was telling you all about her earlier.” He was using his teacher's voice. “We can get going now. We’ll be at my apartment if any of you need anything.” He said, scooting from the booth seat holding his messenger bag close. Lilith and the other boy at the table nodded and grumbled something along the lines of ‘thanks dad’.

He straightened out his vest and posture, flashing you a kind grin. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, Hamish!” The other boy cried out. “Do you...if you’re not busy can you help me study tomorrow? I have this huge phys lab practical in a couple days and an RA training session this week…” he trailed off.

“Of course, Randall.”

“Wait!” Lilith yelped. “Why can’t I help you?!”

Randall rolled his eyes. “Do you really want to quiz me on all the muscle structures and organ stuff?”

She pursed her lips. “No, that’s gross.”

Hamish wrapped his hand around your shoulder. “Let’s go before they actually start arguing and we get asked to be third-party witnesses.”

You nodded vigorously, happy to be leaving.

His apartment was only a short walk away in the main city. It was small and minimal, but immaculately well-decorated. Not that you would expect anything less from Hamish. He thrived on aesthetics.

“Wow, it looks so nice in here.” You breathed out. He truly had some beautiful vintage furniture accompanied by incredible artwork and pieces hung on the wall.

“Thank you, I do try my best. I’m not exactly home very often so I like for it to be nice when I am.” He nodded toward the coffee table. “Well, we can get set up and just get to it then.”

You sighed lightly, dreading the results. Hamish smiled, knowingly.

“Would you like a drink before we start?”

It was like a plug flipped in you. You went from exhaustion to excitement in seconds.

“Please!”

“I’m fairly well stocked on anything you can think of so name a drink.”

“Oh wow, full bar service, huh?” You chuckled, hunkering into the soft brown couch. “I think that you’re really the expert so what drink do you think really screams the concept of truth in modern society?”

“I know exactly what you want.” He grinned, rushing toward the open kitchenette to the side of the living room. Listening to glass clanking a liquid pouring, you began to unload your laptop and answer key onto the table. Just as you began to glance at the exams that had spilled out from Hamish’s bag onto the couch, he strode back out to the living room with two deep green drinks in highball glasses. “Truth Serum, itself.”

“I don’t see why you don’t just become a bartender. You could really make bank at one of those bougier places in a city somewhere.”

“And have all the joy sucked out of making drinks? No thanks.”

You tried to hold back a smile as he handed you the glass. “I suppose you don’t have to commodify and exploit all of your talents to survive this economy.”

“Of course not,” he said, “just most of them.”

Together, you sighed.

“Anyway, tonight is about truth and validity not Marxist theory so let’s get on with it.”

You nodded, reaching out to clink your glass against his before taking a sip.

Listen.

This wasn’t exactly your first, third, or hundredth drink. But somehow, you choked a little as it burned down your throat.

“What is in this?” You asked through tearful eyes, mouth tightly pursed.

“Just some vodka, curacao, absinthe, midori, and ice of cour--”

“There’s absinthe in this?” You asked, incredulously. Hamish nodded once. “Where did you even find absinthe? How much is in here? Oh my gosh nothing on you, this is super well-balanced but holy fuck.”

“I bought it a while ago on a study abroad trip to Germany, but yes I suppose the whole only liquor and liqueurs taste can be a bit...striking when you don’t know what’s coming.”

You nodded, taking another, bigger sip this time. He passed you the first exam. As soon as you looked down you already saw wrong answers. He began marking away at the one in front of him while you stared down at the paper before you. Claire G. was in for lots of red ink.

“Hey Hamish, wanna hear a really horrible idea?” You asked, taking another even longer sip from your glass.

“Why not?”

“What if we take a sip or a shot whenever we mark a point off. Like a drinking game, but at the expense and grade of the kids.” Slowly you glanced over at him, fully expecting him to shoot down your idea. “And whoever finishes first doesn’t have to grade the midterm essay.”

“I think that you misspoke when you said horrible, Y/N. That is a great idea.”

Hamish had been very wrong. Although you had suggested this, it was, indeed, a very horrible idea.

You were fully gone before you had finished four out of the fifteen exams you had. Hamish, on the other hand, was going strong and finishing up his seventh exam.

A really good essay answer or super insightful response got you a sip of water or a cracker if you wanted.

Simple mistakes were a shot of orange liqueur.  

Average to slightly bad mistakes were a shot of vodka.

Horrible, ridiculous mistakes were a drop of absinthe with some water.

It was beginning to dawn on you that somehow you had gotten all of the awful exams. That or Hamish could really pack in the booze without any indication that he was remotely tipsy.

You finished another exam, sloppily circling the grade at the top in big swoopy letters.

“Oh my god, Hamish.”

“What is it?” How could he sound so chill and okay when he had nearly down a bottle of vodka.

“I know why professors have such bad handwriting now. We’re those professors. Oh my god…” You trailed off, staring at the paper in front of you. With that one finished you only had ten more to go. It looked like he had closer to five or six. It was hopeless.

“We are indeed.” He chuckled.

Maybe it was because you had more absinthe in your body now than you had ever in your entire life, but something about his laugh made your stomach light up with butterflies. You had always thought that Hamish was handsome and kind and brilliant, but had never made any move for him. Not that you weren’t attracted to him, but he was so distant so much of the time, it was difficult to even be casual friends with him really. But now you were here with him in his apartment and you wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

You body, already flush from the alcohol began to heat up as you realized how close you were to him.

“Hamish,” you sighed, “Can we take a break?” You stretched back brushing your arm against his.

“Of course, it is getting late and as much fun as this is I’m sure the students would like to us to pay a great deal of attention to their work.” He said gently, setting his own papers down and moving them to a folder.

“Are you saying I can’t give my full attention to detail right now?” You joked, moving to face him.

“Not necessarily, but you are...well…”

“Because if you are then you’d be totally right. It’s awful, if I even get tipsy I have the attention span of a chihuahua puppy which is really saying a lot because they’re pretty unaware of their surroundings and not that smart, but you’re not even a little bit drunk which is wild because you’re just drinking for fun at this point. And the only way you could do that is if you do this a lot which is even more wild because you’re like fully in shape and so cute all the time. If I do anything even like this a little bit I get so hungover and I’ll be that tomorrow because I’m so stupid and wow I feel like I’ve been talking for a long time I’m so sorry I’m annoying when I’m like this.”

You slumped back into the couch, face bright red. Hamish didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Firstly, you are not stupid. You’re brilliant and well-spoken - when you’re sober. Secondly, I am a little drunk I’ve been drinking more absinthe just for fun I’m just good at hiding it I guess. We’ll drink water and I’ll cook breakfast tomorrow so you won’t be hungover very badly.” He chuckled deeply and you could swear there was a blush dusting his cheeks. “I’m not saying this merely to reciprocate your compliment to me, but you’re very beautiful.”

You didn’t know if your facer could heat up anymore, but it felt like it was.

“Hamish, you don’t have to say that.” You said quietly.

He was fully facing you now, arm draped on the back of the couch and his other hand reaching out to rest on your thigh.

“It’s true,” he smiled, “Even in the strange and specific way some of these essays explain it.”

You laughed and his smile brightened. His palm was burning a hole through your jeans. Only moving on instinct and alcohol you leaned in and wrapped your arms around him to securely embrace him. Distracted by your own thoughts you didn’t even hear what he lightly whispered into your ear. You pulled back, nearly nose to nose with him.

“What? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

The pink dusting on his cheeks was a deep red. “May I kiss you?”

“Ohh! Um, really?” You mentally slapped yourself for asking a question. As he opened his mouth to answer you cut him off. “You’re very handsome and I would like that very much, so yes.”

Before the ‘yes’ had fully dropped from your lips his mouth was on yours. Hamish’s hands snaked up to your waist, lightly pulling you closer. You worked your hands into his hair playfully and gave it a small tug. He moaned quietly in response.

His lips slowed against yours placing small, chaste kisses at the edge of your mouth and down your neck. Gasping for breath, you leaned back into the couch and let him continue. After it seemed he had caught his breath again he lifted his eyes to meet yours and leaned in once again to kiss you.

This time was slower and more passionate. Something about how he felt against you was too perfect. His lips were soft and moved with great ease against yours. The grossly sweet liqueurs and stark vodka you had been drinking mixed with his, making it all the more intoxicating. You could feel your heart still pounding around your chest and banging in your ears as you leaned even closer into his chest.

Then, all at once, you got very tired. Your kisses slowed and his did in response until you lazily pulled back with a tired smile plastered on your face. Still, you remained close, forehead pressed against his.

“You can ask to kiss me whenever.” You said, trying so hard to sound cool, but instead, you just sounded tired. “But right now I think I need to sleep.”

“Then let’s get you to bed.”

You stood, still able to be on two feet, although leaning heavily on him for most of your support.

“I’ll leave a full glass of water and some pills on the table for you to take whenever. Try to drink the water all before you fall asleep. Don’t worry about sleeping in, take as much time as you need. I’ll be here until whenever and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Hamish. That’s too much.”

“Nonsense, it’s just polite.”

You nodded, really unable to argue with him. Slumping through a door he placed you on the edge of a comfortable and very large bed in another well-decorated bedroom. You eased into the dark and lavish sheets, pulling off your socks in order to tuck yourself in.

“Here,” he sighed eyeing your jeans, “I’ll leave you some clothes that should be more comfortable, okay?”

You nodded and hummed, desperately wanting to get out of your pants and sweater.

He tossed an old t-shirt toward you along with a pair of joggers that appeared to be even too large to him. You mumbled your thanks, aware enough now to not start stripping in front of him.

“I’m going to go get some water and then I’ll be back.”

You muttered another ‘thanks’ and tried to rub the sleep from your eyes. Glancing at your phone you realized it was nearly the morning. You hadn’t stayed up this late since writing your undergrad thesis.

As soon as he had vacated the room you began to shed your clothes. Moments later, two soft knocks came from the partially shut door to which you answered a small ‘come in’.

His jaw tightened at the sight of you relaxed, curling into his bed with his clothes on. He brushed away the feeling, moving to the bed to sit on the side beside you. Hamish placed a small array of Advil and ibuprofen-type pills on the nightstand with post-it labels beside each one so you could decide in the morning. You sighed softly from behind him and began tracing small lines up his back. He could feel Tundra bristle under his skin in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

You laughed quietly and sleepily from behind him. “I’m sorry, I was trying to follow the pattern on your shirt.”

Finally, he turned toward you, handing you the glass of water which you graciously accepted and quickly gulped down. The entire time Hamish sat quietly on the edge of the bed, staring down at his hands. You left just a sip of water at the bottom, just enough to get you out of bed tomorrow, and reached past him to set the glass beside the pills. As you pulled back he turned to face you once again. Wordlessly, he helped you melt into the bed, pulling the comforter over you and slightly fluffing the pillow under your head.

He lingered for a moment over you, eventually leaning down to place one last, soft kiss against your mouth.

“Goodnight, Hamish.” You said with closed eyes and a heavy sigh.

“Goodnight.” He answered.

[samsideup]

🌹 THE ROSE 🌹 SPECIAL EVENT IN KL

The whole of last week I’ve been trying to sit my ass down to write this but I couldn’t.. & then life caught up & idk when I’d end up posting this, or who will read this, but I’ll try to put down the (broken) memories of my experience into words!

Prelude:

I took the longest time considering if I should buy the special event tickets (I finally bought it nearing the closing date). While I was so afraid it’ll be sold out, I was skeptical about spending another large sum of money on top of buying the VVIP tickets. If I had known that special event was going to happen- I’d probably have bought balcony tickets for the concert so I’ll get to hang with the boys up close (during special event) and also see them perform as 4 (I couldn’t really see jeff throughout the concert, but that’s a story for another time).

Event day:

I was confused as ever. No staff was stationed outside to direct anyone or anything the entire time, until 1:30pm when they were supposed to meet us. By then the queue for concert tagging was already growing (which explains my confusion). They called our names and lined us up accordingly (to the sequence that we bought our tickets in I assume). Then we were given our concert tags ahead of the actual issue time - so we were supposed to be given priority in entering the venue during the concert, after the top 10 tastemakers (but I still couldn’t snatch the front row- yet another story for another time). Soon enough, we were brought into the concert venue. For some reason, all of us who bought the special event tickets were not screaming all over. I think the staff thought it was odd cos she was like “okay yay!!!” in attempt to hype us up, to which we responded with low “yays”. I was honestly just too nervous at that point to react to her (I’m sorry!)

Special event:

It took place at the balcony area of the concert hall, so we had a prelude to the view that the balcony broses would have during the concert. We were lined up along the balcony, in front of a long table where the boys were to sit at. After we were given instructions, we just waited around for the boys. I made friends with broses who were behind me in the queue (s/o to my dear Farah & Nadiah who were incredibly warm!) and the three of us were just- we just don’t know how to feel at that point.

So I was just looking around and that was when I saw Hajoon backstage through a little opening in the curtain. I flipped and started tapping Farah “look look that’s hajoon right?!” the rest of the broses in line were unable to see it from their end- so i was just helplessly trying to wave to get his attention. I failed. Yes. Because at that exact moment he turned around to leave the backstage and come up to us. Saw a sneak peak of woosung’s back too tho!

I think it was when they actually appeared that I completely started freaking out internally. I was tryna look chill on the outside. But it really wasn’t working. Farah, Nadiah and I started asking each other “wait ok so what are you gonna say to them?!” since we were the last 3 in line, we literally asked each other this question a million times. None of us knew what to say. It was all blank. While queuing we also overheard their korean staff (speaking in korean) to make the line move faster (whaaaaaat) cos they were bored? I hope we were hearing things- but I doubt that.

So the boys sat down according to this order- dojoon, jaehyeong, woosung, hajoon. Dojoon was an absolute ball of sunshine, he was so loud and cheery. It was so contagious. Jaehyeong was WAY too smiley, I have nothing but heart eyes for him, seriously. Woosung looked so good. I just- he just looked so chill and cool. I- my heart- Then hajoon. He’s the absolute sweetest, just sitting there being a sweetheart ugh massive sigh.

I was so nervous I simply couldn’t remember my entire experience with them, but here are some of the highlights with each of them:

Dojoon

You seriously cannot help but feel comfortable around him. He’s just so cheerful and you’d feel obliged to match his energy- completely no complains though aghhh! He signed on the right of my scrapbook, where he was supposed to. Then he saw the post-it note that I had stuck at the left side of the book, written “hello my name is qian” in cursive. He was like “oh can I write there?” *points to the left of the notebook” and I said “sure please do!” he wrote “hello my name is dojoon” in cursive and I was like “wow your handwriting is nicer than mine!” He deadass said “of course!”. I was thrown off but ended up replying “you’re good at everything” to which he literally beamed at me *cues awwww in sunglasses*

Jaehyeong

I thought people were exaggerating when they said they that jeff was so good looking that they lost their shit. You seriously won’t know how that feels until you SEE HIM IRL. I was so so so mesmerised by his looks I couldn’t even remember what I said to him. He kept smiling and laughing prettily the entire time. I asked if he was tired from tour and he said “oh, no no no” in his cute little way (you’d know) and I told him his English really improved. He laughed and said thank you. So I had post-it bunnies sticking out of the notebook (& I chose them because I secretly felt like each of the bunnies signified each member). idk why the fuck- but I was so comfortable around him that I told him that that tall bunny was him. I feel stupid, yes, I’m well aware, thanks. Of all the things in the world I could have said- I said “this bunny is you” dear lord please help me.

Woosung

My entire universe. He was so laid back (but tbh it may even have come off as cold hmm). I told him I was from Singapore & I think that picked his interest- because he immediately said “oh cool! I really want to visit Singapore” and he repeated it multiple times on his own accord (so I’m convinced he really wants to!) i had to cut his excitement in order to talk abt something else lol so I talked to him a little more and when I was about to be asked to leave I deadass looked at him in the eyes and said “Sammy” he looked at me, and I pointed to him and whispered “smoke less ok” I only caught his laughed before I had to move on......

Hajoon

The last of the 4. I swear this is absolutely his era- his blond hair looks nothing short of amazing up close. I honestly can’t remember what we talked about because half the time I just rlly wanted to squish his cheeks (altho mine was way chubbier than his- so wHO AM I TO SQUISH HIS). But at the end I also asked him if he was tired from the tour. His eyes shot up from signing my book and VERY SMILEY & CHEERFULLY SAID “Oh... No! I’m not tired! Because of you guys”. & that, my friends, was instant K.O. Hajoon 1, Qian 0. Mmhmm

After signing, we went back to join the line to take our photos together with the boys. It happened so damn quickly- LITERALLY “with a blink, shot shot” and it was over....

To sum up this experience:

it was extremely short- but absolutely worth it meeting the boys up close. It was my first experience and I told myself it will be my only. But after meeting them for myself- my stand has wavered..

My takeaway:

Go to special event PREPARED. Memorise what you want to tell the boys, rehearse what you want to do. Be more prepared than you have ever been for any formal presentations that you’ve gone through in your life. Because eventually when you get there you’d be completely star struck (I speak for all of us) and you’d freeze and forget it all. You’d be lucky if you remember to breathe - honestly.

[rosyerim]

pocket sized!nct dream

basically nct dream but,,,they can fit in your hand,,, also mark isn’t here but I couldn't find a dream gif w/o mark 

haechan;

usually sitting ontop of your right shoulder, judging every task you do

“why does your handwriting resemble chicken scratch?”

“your hair is greasy, you should wash it”

“that ramen isn't cooked properly, the water is too hot!”

“haechan I will throw you in the pot”

he shuts up realll quick

but then he's back to whining & will only shut up if you give him half a cookie since he can't finish it whole

he loves a good ole KUWTK marathon but you have to remind him he is not actually Kim kardashian and you’re not his assistant

once he was looking for his your headphones & started snapping his fingers at you to get them lol you weren't happy

he doesn't even have to try but haechan can make you laugh at literally anything he’s just naturally funny 

so whenever you’re in a bad mood, the boys send him out to you to sooth you & it usually works lmao

is like your own personal stylist, he makes sure to check out your outfit before you go out anywhere

when he doesn't like it he just gives you a certain look up and down

“you don’t like it? whats wrong w it?”

“that top with those heels? whats right with it?

renjun;

steals your pencils that are basically stubs so he can do some drawing of his own :’((

makes you stay up late with him to watch conspiracy theories about the universe but then falls asleep on your phone screen 20 mins in

loves when you buy little stones for yourself, for like protection & well being, etc and renjun will spends hours wiping them down & researching everything he can on the stones

uses your phone just so he can learn how to do ballet from the comfort of your house but is still too shy to show you a dance routine for now

hates hates scary stuff but insists on watching the documentary about serial killers & afterwards he usually ends up sleeping on the pillow your head is on because he swears he's being watched lol

prefers sleeping in your hoodie pockets but has had one too many near death experiences with you not realising & catching him as he falls out so now you carefully pick up any article of clothing you own

likes the piano tiles app because he can basically play it using his lil feets 

he also beats your high score so you're lowkey salty but so long as he’s happy 

comes to you first about all his problems & likes to have a lil venting session with you & him cuddled in the armchair, sharing a cup of hot chocolate because he doesn't like bitter things

sometimes when you’re feeling kinda down he sits down on your shoulder & sings to you softly in chinese because he doesn't want you to,,,feel alone,,,my heart,,,,take it(●´□`)♡

jeno;

the quietest boy out of the six and the sweetest little boy ever :’((

brings you flowers he picked out of your neighbours garden covered in dirt because he saw how stressed out you were abt studying & reminds you to drink your water <33

likes to sit on your lap watching morning cartoons, giggling away behind his tiny bowl of cereal 

is best friends with the next door neighbours cat yet is deathly allergic to them??

he nearly scared you one morning when you were woken up by jeno’s teeny screams from around your house but turns out he was just riding on the cats back

you ended up having to take care of him for two days since he got super sick

you tried to scold him but he was still on the high from being up so high so he's just like 

“okay I'm sorry I won't do it again (｡◝‿◜｡)”

goes on random junk food hunts around your kitchen, can be found eating half a dorito chip in your cupboard at 3am mood

has a newfound love for asmr’s & if you ever lose your phone, worry not because jeno has it & is watching; long nails tapping different objects for two hours, no talking, only sounds 

also looooves dancing so he likes free styling with jisung by the radio & gets all shy & blushy when you compliment him 

jaemin;

lives in your shirt pocket because its 1) close to your heart & 2) very warm in there & 3) doesn’t have to leave your side!!

loves you v much & expresses it by leaving little pecks on your fingertips :’)))

likes to sleep on your fluffy plushies because its super comfy to him

his favourite is obvi ryan

fave spot is standing on your counter doing the best he can to help you bake sweet treats

imagine him standing holding up a whisk attempting to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ones but ending up falling :(( 

bub gets sad because he's afraid he messed it up but gets happy again when you set him on decorating the cakes :)) he’s super concentrate & even goes as far as to write your name best he can with icing

if its long then he just writes ur nickname 

likes to spend some of his free time reading books

the first time you were really confused on why your english book standing on its spine, had pages opening randomly 

turns out it was just jaemin being an intellectual

 you end up helping him flick the pages tho after he gets a paper cut :(

he really milks it tho like

“oh no y/n my hand is in pieces, I think im dying ε-(≖д≖﹆)”

but once you give him a hello kitty bandaid & hugs he's okay

chenle;

likes to sit in the palm of your hand & talk to you about how your day went & about how his day went & the birds he saw in the sky today & how he likes ice cream & basically it’s him babbling away to you

but you don't mind it, he's so endearing :’)

goofiest little man, tells you random jokes he heard on the radio & gets all smiley when you laugh at them, even if they're not funny

makes you play dominos with him but by the time he's gotten three standing up, you've got the whole thing set up

doesn't stop him from pushing the first one down and shrieking in delight when they all fall in sync aw cute baby

he also watches some KUWTK w/ haechan as he loves the drama & he picks up the lingo 

“hey lele have you seen my phone?im so annoyed I can't find it”

“omg there are literally people dying y/n ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭”

you end up banning them from watch it 

even tho he’s small he eats a loooott

he will eat an entire bowl of ramen if you let him & you try to stop him but all he has to do it be like

“please let me eat it all y/n i wont get sick i love u uwuଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧”

“oh of course you can you cutie here you go (n˘v˘•)¬”

he ends up with a tummy ache, again so you’re looking after him, again

not that you mind, he's the babiest of babies (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵)

jisung;

can be found sleeping on top of the fluffiest make up brush you own

sleeps everywhere, likes sleeping under your carpet??

when you try waking him up he just falls back asleep in your hand :,))

if he's not sleeping, he's free styling by your radio and you can't help but record it

swears he doesn't like your slime yet you've had to help him out of multiple sticky sticky situations because he got too excited playing with your strawberry scented slime

watched one episode of gordon ramsay & swears he's the masterchef 

“aii that’s not how you fry the rice! you need to wait until it sizzles dude do you even know what you’re doing?!”

you set him down in the timeout corner

but he’s just chilling like

“if I get food poisoning its your fault (｡･･｡)”

picks up the local whiteboy lingo after he listens to his “lit asf playlist”

will randomly say aye & start nae naeing to you like, tapping your pen on the desk when you're studying 

won't admit it but loves when you cup him in your hands & sway him from side to side & he trusts you enough not to drop him

also has a weird habit of surfboard in the sink with a barbie surfboard & tells you to blow on the water so he can “surf”

you do it tho because his little giggles fill your heart

bonus; imagine all of them in little onesies of their fave animals & little cute hoods ♡✧。 (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[spitestudies]

hello everyone!! as a high school junior taking 4 aps, 3 other classes, preparing for the act, trying to do college research, stage managing a musical, and trying not to lose my mind, here are some fun n handy tips for not Dying when ur schedule is hell!  

if you found this post helpful maybe give it a like/reblog and check out my other posts here!

01 | PLANNING AND PREPARING

so much of getting and staying organized has to do with organizing your time in advance.  there are a million ways to do this--google calendar, a bullet journal, a planner, some post-it notes.  my system involves three parts: a google calendar, a planner, and an online to-do list app.  

google calendar: this is mostly for events.  i can see when i have rehearsals, classes, doctor’s appointments, etc.  this helps me see how much available time i have and budgeting it properly.  

planner: i take this with me to school, and i use it to right down when i have assignments and tests.  i use the ban.do planner, but these are a bit pricey, and really anything will do.  just somewhere to put down tasks so you can keep track of them

getplan.co: this app is, honest to god, the only reason i am still alive and breathing.  it plugs into your google calendar and then allows you to create and schedule tasks around events.  @studycxlture has an amazing post about plan here that i def recommend checking out!

general tips about planning: 

plan out the events of your month at least two days before it starts

set aside a night (i like sunday evenings) to set up a system for the upcoming week and go over what you have planned so you don’t forget anything

you are NOT gonna remember that assignment that teacher told you about.  write it down.  

you do not need a fancy system.  it’s okay to try lots of different things until you find what works 

never spend more time planning out tasks than completing them.  unless you have that much free time, don’t dedicate two hours to making a lovely weekly bullet journal spread.  

color codes!!! are a life saver.  i have one with a color for each class (red for english, orange for spanish, yellow for history, green for science, blue for math, etc) as well as some for my extracurriculars (pink for the musical, teal for model un, etc).  

always have ur planner open when ur working, so that you can make sure u r actually completing all the tasks u said u were gonna complete

02 | STAYING ORGANIZED 

oh my god oh my god oh my god staying on top of your work is SO important when you’re busy.  being able to find your worksheets and keep track of your homework and your million responsibilities is essential to being successful.  to stay organized, i have an expandable file folder with tabs for each class.  because i take most of my notes in notebooks instead of binders, this is a good way to keep all of my handouts, worksheets, and syllabi centralized.  

also, make sure you have a way to keep your online materials organized.  create a folder for each school year, and within that folder, create more folders for each class.  from there, it’s up to you about how you’ll organize files. you can create even MORE folders (yeet) for things like homework, notes, study guides, etc, or folders for each unit you study.  the possibilities are endless!!!! isn’t technology exciting

here r some pieces of advice for staying organized: 

have a series of folders/binder/expandable file folder to hold your worksheets.  or one for each class, though i prefer to keep all my papers in one a) to save money and b) to save space.

label your notebooks/binders so that you know which ones to bring home with you

never just shove something into your backpack.  never.  i’m gonna manifest into ur classroom and FIGHT you if u do that.  it’s not good, it’ll end up getting lost or crushed under the weight of all ur textbooks, and you’ll end up panicking when u can’t find it 

have ur planner on u at all times

keep a good filing system of ur stuff at home.  u don’t need to carry around every single bio assignment you’ve gotten back, but by the time ur final rolls around ur gonna want 2 b able to look at all the materials you’ve gotten during the semester

that being said, throw stuff away when the year is over!  i, for one, know i’m never gonna think about calculus after this class is done, so i will be recycling all of my papers (save the earth) and moving tf on 

keep a recycling bin in your room!  even if it’s just a paper bag, it’ll make throwing paper in the trash way less tempting (save the earth)

u don’t need a ton of pens.  i’m being a giant hypocrite saying this but you really don’t need all that stuff.  if you want it and you can manage it, great, but if it’s just another thing to keep track of, leave ur staedtlers and ur mujis and ur fineliners and ur calligraphy pens at home, and just take the essentials with u to school

03 | MAKING THE MOST OF UR TIME

in order to succeed, it’s v important to make every second count.  this doesn’t mean studying 48 hours straight (pls don’t), but try not to waste time. whether this means you spend fifteen minutes napping, doing some reading for english, or having a quick snack, make sure u are being productive and healthy!  i, for one, sometimes have 1-2 hour breaks between school and rehearsal, and i like to use these to walk to the grocery store by my school and get some food and then study in the deli.  

some ideas for being productive! 

carry a clipboard around everywhere.  this way, u don’t need to spend as much time transitioning in and out of tasks, u can just put ur work onto the clipboard, and put it in ur backpack at the end of a break, and then the next chance u have to work on it, just take it back out.  easy peasy

work during commutes! nOT if ur the one driving the car though that’s VERY dangerous and distracted driving = bad.  but if ur on the bus, or ur mom is driving u to school, that might be a good time to go over some notes you took last night, or some reading you need to catch up on.  nothing too insane, please don’t do ur chem labs on the public bus but.  u know.  

read over the notes you took that day on the ride home.  this will help reinforce the information in ur brain, and it’s not super difficult. i go over my apush notes during the 40 minute drive home and sometimes talk about them w my mom, which gives me a much better grasp of the material

don’t waste time on social media.  either delete instagram altogether, or log off/mute notifications before u start work.  same with tumblr.  don’t start scrolling obsessively if u have three tests to study for. 

power naps!!!! napping for about 10-20 minutes, maybe on the way home or to practice/rehearsal/whatever u gotta do, can help u feel refreshed!  anything longer will make u more tired tho, so be sure to get up when u say ur gonna get up.  

study smarter: when ur going over material, u don’t need to handwrite 60 beautiful flashcards.  use quizlet instead.  don’t revise if it’s not gonna help u.  prioritize which assignments r gonna be most impactful over the little ones u can easily make up

take good breaks!! breaks r VERY important and should be utilized properly.  here r some good suggestions for things to do: 

throw in a load of laundry

empty the dishwasher

stretch/do some jumping jacks

drink some water!

go for a walk

talk to a family member 

get a snack!

read some fun novels n such

scream?

!! in case of emergency !! the following tips should only be employed when ur short on time.  don’t use these just bc u can, this is just when it’s about getting close enough to grasping material, not actually grasping it

do every other math problem assigned, and either star the ones u didn’t do, or get the answers from the back of the book.  this way, u get some practice but u also save time

sparknotes ur reading beforehand.  this way, u can recognize what’s going on.  it’s not v good for developing ur reading comprehension, but assignments will go by quicker

NEVER google translate ur language homework, but u can use word reference for helping u find the right word and proper conjugations

flagpole it: didn’t study enough for a test?  are u guessing on like 10 of the questions?  if it’s multiple choice, but the same answer for all the ones u have no clue about, unless that answer choice seems highly unlikely.  then pick a different one.  this way, ur statistically more likely to get some of the ones you guessed correct. 

when u have an online assignment due at midnight and it’s 11:53 and u haven’t started, find another assignment you’ve already completed that has a similar document name.  for example, “scarlet letter chapters 9-11″ instead of ur actual assignment “scarlet letter chapters 12-14″.  submit the other one, and then when u finish the other assignment (either that night or the next morning) email ur teacher and apologize, say u accidentally submitted the wrong document

if ur parents will let u (if ur in high school) or u can let urself (if ur in uni), it’s okay to skip a day to catch up.  just make sure u actually work, get the notes u missed, and talk to ur teachers/professors abt the material u missed.

04 | STAYING HEALTHY 

ur health comes before any assignment, test, or extracurricular.  i know lots of ppl r probably telling u that and it doesn’t seem like they mean it, but i mean it.  no exam is worth sacrificing ur mental, physical, or emotional health for.  yeet!  so here r some things to keep in mind

eat!  ur fuckin!  breakfast!  whether it’s a smoothie or oatmeal or a cup of orange juice or an apple or an elaborate french toast dish, u need some food in ur stomach so that u have the energy to start ur day

remember to take ur meds if u need to!

drink water!  drink! water!  have a glass when u wake up, and then at least one with every meal, and one before u go to bed.  hydration is v important.  if u can, invest in a water bottle and take it with u to class.  

pack a lunch!  and if ur staying later after school, pack snacks!  tech week for me is always hell because i get to school at 7:30 am and don’t usually leave until 11 that night.  it’s v important to stay nourished and hydrated so that u don’t get dizzy or faint.  

remember!  that u are beautiful, and ur body is beautiful, and it deserves 2 b loved! especially by u.  

get 6 hours of sleep.  aim for 8, but six at the very least.  if ur done with ur work, go to bed early!  don’t just stay up for no reason.  

shower everyday, or every other day at least.  give yourself those 15 minutes as a break from work or school or anything else that’s keeping you busy

write down ur thoughts in a journal?  

talk to a friend if ur feeling sad, or just feeling things very intensely.  share ur joy with other people!  vent ur sadness and anger so u aren’t carrying it around everywhere. 

make some time to have fun.  see a movie w ur friends or ur bf/gf/datefriend or ur family over the weekend.  go to a museum.  hang out at the mall.  sleepover at someone’s house.  taking breaks is healthy.  

make an effort to have dinner with ur family if u can (also if u like ur family.  i know some ppl have bad relationships w them so skip this step if that’s u).  it can be nice to reconnect w everyone, even when ur stressed or they’re annoying u, it can be nice.  

remember that it’s okay to be imperfect!  u don’t need to be good at a lot of things.  i got a b for the first time last semester, i just got a c on an apush test, i failed my driver’s test again yesterday.  but i also aced my math quiz, i celebrated six months of knowing my best friend, i walked my dog, i helped put a production together.  it’s okay to have rough days and bad days and bleh days, as long as you keep pushing through them and working for the days to get better.  

i love u!!! stay hydrated and nourished and get enough sleep.  put on some lotion if u have it available.  brush ur hair.  if u ever wanna ask a question, my ask box is always open!  <3

[newgameplus]

tagged by the ever-lovely @ginnie-darling​ (im @ing you on this blog sorry lmao) The rules are: answer 11 questions, create 11 questions, then tag 11 people.  

What’s your favorite story? It can be a book, a play, a podcast - anything! thats such a hard question.... i love the penumbra, with all my heart, but my favourite story changes every time i hear a new one!!

What season do you like the best? summer! fall is good too but it gets cold fast- and winter is too stressful and bleak

What’s one thing that you’re never without? a sweater (i get cold easily and im self concious abt my arms + Love pockets), but thing-wise, my 3ds or phone. i gotsta have my chunes

What kind of music have you been listening to recently? Any band in particular? ive been listening to a Lot of Gregory Alan Isakov (mostly because im an anxious wreck and hes got Soothing Sounds)

Describe your aesthetic god thats hard. all aesthetics are good at different times,, i guess a favourite aesthetic is: sunlight through large windows. bright red lipstick. constellations. golden hour. the taste of nectarines. handwriting crammed into a notebook. rings in one’s ears and on many of one’s fingers. hm!

What’s something you’re interested in that people think is weird? hh im not sure... i have an overzealous passion for lit sometimes, like, specifically, Arthurian legend, and i think i put people off w that but idk if i have any Weird likes

Are you easily distracted? What kinds of things steal your attention? i have a short attn span (its taken me all day to do this cuz i do sthn else after every question lmao), unless im actively working on something (drawing, video games) but idk if i’d say im easily distracted.

Have you climbed a tree in the last year? no :((

What’s the last book you read? uhhhhh shit what WAS the last book i read... i was looking up excerpts from The Once And Future King (t.h. white) and The Acts Of King Arthur And His Noble Knights (john steinbeck) the other night, do those count?

Do you, in this moment, want to scream? no i dont think so!!

i dont have the internet or energy to add on more questions or tag anyone rn :< but if anyone wants to take part in this they’re Free to

[blxebxy-spxcemxn]

SO HERE’S THE IDEA’S THAT ME AND @stcrmclcud got done

Some sort of game,, idk yet,,, doesn’t know their inside one

Different problems for each character (Missing parts, glitching parts, + parts they don’t need ect )

Idk why but. Stan as some kind of stitched Frankenstein’s Monster-esque furry.

Just. a fucking DOG with different parts. And it’s Stan.

Kenny has,,, skeleton bits MAybe,,

Cartman cld have like. An error or glitch on one of his eyes, kind of in reference to the many theories that he has Kenny’s eye??

Sobs idc if my girl heidi isnt in the au but. If she is. Flowers. She’s just covered in flowers. Any blemishes she has. Flowers.

Craig possibly is rather glitches out around the eye and a few other spots around his body

Frozen @ some point in the game and can not pass that said part

Missing File.exe

Missing background in some places, that and or rather glitched up and hard to see

Moments of g l itching,,,

Are. Are we allowed to let Ken pull a sans and know they’re in a fucking game bc his file keeps getting more and more corrupted (hence his body having skeleton bits; he rots more and more after it gets corrupted). He warns everyone so they cld do something abt it bc eventually he will fade away or disappear.

Tweek’s voice is fucked up, possibly has a third eye behind all his hair

RANDY IS NOT IN THIS AU,, His file was deleted a whole while back due to him knowing too much and yada yada, No randy

Kyle probably doesn’t have a mouth lol,, Its more glitched than anything

Butters missing his eye’s, blind boy

“LETS PLAY”

Creek? In my au?? NO THANK YOU

SOBS

Token probably doesn’t exist sorry,,

Jimmy has no legs sadly,, Missing in his files

Very tempted to make eric behind the whole thing

He probably is honestly,,

Tbh i really like the idea of Eric having alters, and since this is more of a glitch kinda game? He cld shapeshift into them. Mitch Conner, the more prominent one, is just a bald guy with the SAME eye glitch as eric.

Gotta add scott tenorman to the game because I love him, Possibly half human half robot type shit

Clyde ….. Died, more than likely, Possibly before the glitched happen, causing Craig to be more bumbbed out then usual...Craig probably wears his Jacket

I want Jimmy,,,, to wear Token’s sweater around his waist. Bc now that you mention it, the same thing cld happen to Token too :0

Fuck I think the idea of the characters all looking super surreal pre-corruption, kinda like the npcs of Yume Nikki- i just. Gfdnmmbhfbhghg pls. hOLD ON LEMME JUST-

KINDA LIKE THEM. wait im gonna send a clearer version to you in dms

Lots of secrets, lots of secrets,,,

What if, like in ddlc, Cartman cld put shit in ur game files. Or the characters cld.

A lot of it is just. Cries for help.

Insert a drawing kenny made of himself (skeleton with a fucking 2 foot dong) and the rest is just. Crass handwriting saying “PLEASE HELP ME I’LL DIE AT THIS RATE” or smth.

The game has a dark sense to it, not having very much lighting, the ora around the whole place is dark and mostly everyone isn’t so happy

Cartman thought the place was a little TOO happy so that’s why he probably did it, wanting full control over the whole place and by that he’d need to make the town dark and shit so they’d throw out the mayor and that.

Most of the girl’s files are missing, but everyone knows them….you just can’t see them

Oof to reference Heidi’s “quitting [twitter]”,,, whenever Heidi’s mentioned the words ‘Quitter’ appear so it’s a rule that no one talks about her.

What im trying to say is she voluntarily deleted her own file.

SHE KILLED HERSELF, MAN.

Craig is more emotionless than ever

RUBY?? IDK HER. KAREN ETHER

Everyones just DEAD MAN.

Idk how it happened theyre just gone.

Eric ‘ the hacker ‘ Cartman

Cartman you Big Blubbery Bitch

Sometimes really high pitched screaming happens but everyones used to it so its okay

Part of why theyre used to it is because tweek screams at the same pitch as the other ringing screams so they cant tell

What if at

Eric probably got Heidi to help him delete everyone’s Files, Possibly blackmailing her with someone of some sorts ( idk rn ) and forced her to delete files and that’s when she also deleted herself not going to be able to stand knowing she did it

If craig or kenny or either one says her name enough the writing “please don’t. I don’t wanna come back” will be written among a bunch of “quitters” overlapping and making this big fucking patch of whatevers. A conversation can probably be initiated from there.

Only Craig and kenny remember Heidi

The game probably disappears after a while because of so many files being deleted the game won’t run properly and will be forced to shut down...aka ALL FILES are deleted. So MC or NEW KID has to fix that?? And stop Cartman bringing everyone back ( But clyde cause he died before the glitch )

It all looks like peaches and cream at first (the scenery), esp while new kid roams through, and then they meet the first character and their monstrous appearances.

Wld this game be in FIRST person or third like the south park games,,

Third person

clyde glitches in and out of the world but since his file is gone. dead. destroyed for good and it really fucks with craig's mind bc he shouldn't even be here

OOOOO WHAT IF THE NEW KID CLD CHOOSE THEIR DESIGN LIKE IN THE OTHER GAMES

But you CANT be normal looking.

So like. Theres animal bits ummmmmm glitches,,,, your SKIn can be like. Really fucky.

Some characters don’t even have color to them, their just bland gray’s whites and blacks

If by chance bebe is in there,,, she probably has eyes all over her. In reference to people looking at her. Looking at her for too long results in a jumpscare of her shaking in tears and the words “PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME” appearing for like a split second. This is more likely to happen if you’re not engaging in conversation with her. (FUCK YES)

Kenny’s a filthy BODY PART THIEF

He steals ppls limbs so like he has his own skeleton-ish arms and then like four other ones

New kid having the option to hurt the people they meet

And Craig’s just like ‘ Nope ‘,, You choose the wrong people to hurt and Criag’s gonna get cha

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

[yoongisidentaety-blog]

soulmate!taehyung

-yas first post lets go

-in this au your soulmate feels pain when you feel pain and vice versa

-also marks on your skin shows on your soulmates skin and vice versa but the marks aren’t exactly alike, they’re just similar

-also you can hear your soulmates thoughts when they’re within 5 miles of you and their thoughts are louder the closer they are

-so you first discovered that you had a soulmate when you were a smol child

-you were probably around 4

-one day you were at school and then you felt this sharp pain on the back of your hand

-and you looked down and saw this scar looking thing

-you were confused like why does it feel like there’s a cut on the back of my hand but there’s no cut??? why is there a scar instead of a cut?? where did this come from???

-you decided that you probably cut yourself by accident a while ago and it just scarred and it still hurt

-but then a few days later you saw a smiley face drawing itself

-it was appearing on its oWN

-you got freaked out and screamed in the middle of school and you scared everyone

-you told your teacher and she was like “ohh sweetie you have a soulmate thats why”

-but she wouldn’t explain anymore and you got frustrated bc i mean you have a right to know abt your owN SOULMATE right

-so you asked your parents later and they explained the concept of soulmates

-and like everyone is meant to be with someone and you can communicate with your soulmate through markings on your skin

-and you feel injuries that your soulmate feels

-so you got excited and took a marker and in your 4yo handwriting you write “HI SOULMATE” on your wrist

-you wait what seems like hours for your soulmate to respond

-eventually he responds and says “HI SOULMATE :)”

-reading his message gave you so much happiness you could not even maintain your precious 4 year old self’s sanity

-from then on whenever you were feeling down or something you would write to your soulmate and you knew they had your back whoever it was

-lets fast forward about 15 years later

-so you were just binge watching metflix

-i don´t want to get copyrighted here im doing my best

-then suddenly you start to feel a bunch of pain in your torso

-you also start to find cuts pretty much everywhere

-let me just say it hurt like A LOT

-and because you aren´t doing anything besides lying down like a potato, you realize its from your soulmate

-you can hear your soulmates thoughts and it freaks you out

-why is his voice so dEEP wowow

-nothing interesting has happened in the past years, which is why you started to freak out

-you started to hyperventilate, which might have been because you were out of shape but

-you run out of your lil apartment and next thing you know ur running down the stairs

-and you run down the street

-his thoughts are getting louder?

-and then you hear someone yelling

-you hear three people yelling actually

‘-theres two voices cursing and stuff and then there’s another voice that sounds like your soulmate that’s yelling?

-and then you realize that your soulmate is probably getting mugged or something

-and you realize that’s its truly your soulmate bc that’s something that would happen to you tbh

-so then superhero y/n kicks in

-i mean you have to save your soulmate right

-so then you decide to turn on your war cry mode and attempt to get the people attacking your soulmate oFF OF YOUR SOULMATE

-i mean he may not even be your soulmate but

- im sorry this is off topic but did i mention that min yoongi is a dangerous man

-anyways back to the story

-the guys attacking your maybe-husband-soulmate-person

-so you run to the guy and give him a nice punch in the arm

-did i mention you are physically active and are into sports or dance or some other physical activity so youre pretty strong and flexible:)

-the guy looks at you and takes you down but then your maybe-husband-soulmate-person gets up

-he drags the guy and you take the chance to punch him again but that’s when the cops appear

-they take the guy and you maybe-husband-soulmate-person looks at you

-WoW hE’s HaWtTeR ThAn YoU eXpEcTeD

-his lips cut and he has a bunch of bruises and then he sees you do too

-his eyes get bigger and you smile like youre evil hehe

-he hugs you and his eyes get teary

-’youre my soulmate…?’ and you nod

-your heart starts to beat faster and your face gets super hot

-wow whats this feeling but then again its nice

-he looks at you again and says his name,’taehyung, kim taehyung’

-you, being the awkward person that you are, look up at him and tell him that your name is Y/N and then try really hard not to scream bc i mean you sCORED

-wow did i mention how hot your soulmate is  

-so then you take your soulmate home and you talk and clean up each otherś injuries and stuff

-but you and taehyung are actually meant to be

-anyways you can imagine the rest of your life with your soulmate

-this is your story isnt it

[vampire-core]

okay for the hcs thing: the dragonets of destiny, ruby and nan, all of the ib squad, and uhhhthe pmmm cast if u want?? :3c

NICE ty babe!!!!!!!!

send me a character and i’ll answer!

(note: im kin w glory, mary, madoka, sayaka, and mami so this might be a lot of kin-based shIT SDFHSDKLF)

CLAY

A: what I think realistically

he is Boft (buff and soft) and also Lorg and if u are his friend and cold just tell him and he will drape his fuckin wing around u and curl up with you. he has at least 3 dragons cuddling with him when he sleeps

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes super bad at predicting jokes so he’ll fuckin CRACK UP at the worst fuckin joke u tell. he’ll also eat ANYTHING on a dare. even dirt or a handful of pebbles, thanks GLORY

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

hes actually got mental health shit goin on (depression/anxiety/prob ptsd/prob a pd) but he thinks he Has to be strong for the other dragonets bc theyre all fucked right up and he needs to be the strong support so he feels like he really Cant let himself break down at all, and it causes a Lot of pent-up sadness/anxiety/etc which he has No way of getting out

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

clay is aro/ace and in a qpp with all the dragonets. let him be not het?

TSUNAMI

A: what I think realistically

tsunami is fuckening BUFF as HELL. like. she can kick ur ass ur friends ass ur moms ass her OWN ass she doesnt care shes SUPER buff she will kick everyone in the THROAT she is FIERCE and PROTECTIVE and STRONG

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when darkstalker first busted out of the mountain (like a nut) she straight-up decked him in the snout. just fucken. P U N C H

it hurt her claws and she almost cried but tried to play it off as “im crying out of my own coolness”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt like glory hates her bc of how snarky and rude they are and like?? they logically know they dont but like. what if and she cant just ask them bc thatd be rude and glory would probably make a joke out of it, so shes stuck believing one of her supposed best friends secretly hates her and she doesnt know how to deal

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AS HELL let tsunami be bi and trans and have a gf…….

GLORY

A: what I think realistically

theyre used to not eating a lot and kinda always being hungry bc yknow no sunlight in the caves but they assumed it was like? normal? and being in the sun was like……. holy shit im finally Full…….. and they dont actually eat a lot but when they do its usually fruits bc they dont actually like meat all that much

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they can do spot-on impressions of SO many dragons, including but not limited to: the guardians, the other dragonets, fatespeaker, queen coral, riptide, morrowseer, and probably more and they love being able to say “im a pretty princess” while sounding almost exactly like kestrel

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

theyre rlly rlly good at hiding bc they HAD to be when the guardians got Pissed, so now when anyone is Vaguely mad at them they manage to find a way to hide and its near-impossible to find them, which has pppprob scared the other dragonets mny times

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

glory is genderfluid and gay and whom the Fuck is deathbringer?

STARFLIGHT

A: what I think realistically

he has some p bad anxiety so his Counting/Observing Things thing is a comfort mechanism of sorts that hes always really done. in the caves all he had to observe was rocks, torches, and scrolls but once he got Out he had so much that it was overwhelming. hes rlly good at describing things in writing due to this

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes always been SUPER clumsy so now that hes blind hes kind of just. tripping on everything. he fell off the side of a cave once at the academy and screamed and waited for death until he remembered that he is a dragon who can fly

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

abt the observing thing: now that hes blind, he cant do that, and it was his main comfort mechanism. so now during anxiety attacks, he has a rlly hard time calming down bc he cant just start observing whats around him, it doesnt WORK like that

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

HES ARO AND GAY AND IN A QPP WITH FATESPEAKER AND ALSO THE DRAGONETS FUCK YOU

SUNNY

A: what I think realistically

she has adhd!!! she has adhd-ph so shes always fidgeting/bouncing around/flying to try and get her energy out. clay, tsunami, and glory also have adhd and try to help her out whenever they can!! she loves to bake, but it takes a LOT of waiting, so its kinda hard on her

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she can be REALLY FUCKING LOUD when she wants to be, which NOBODY expects. normally she uses it for singing, or to startle people. she likes to be Loud while imitating kestrel, marching around and looking all Serious

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt Really ignored and, esp for someone who pprob has dpd traits, its rlly heartbreaking bc like. she doesnt feel wanted and she doesnt feel like she gets any attention and shes just!!!!!!! aaaagh

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes aroace and in a qpp w fatespeaker heck you

RUBY

A: what I think realistically

she was prob legally blind but not Fully blind before the glen, but she was admitted bc her sight was getting progressively worse and she couldnt continue to be an electrician, her job

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

“hey tom remember that time i fucken stabbed u” “lol remember that time u pushed stitches off a balcony, killing him instantly”

“tom if u dont shut up this second about furries i will stab u again” “…….nya” “im gettin my fucken knife tom”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she lives w a lot of guilt over killing tom and regularly has nightmares abt it, and even tho he assures her everything is fine she still regrets it so much but doesnt know how to make it Right in her mind

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AND AGENDER AND HER TOM AND JAY ARE POLY

NAN

A: what I think realistically

shes always been Super chubby, and she generates a llot of heat both bc Fur and bc Chub, so when her friends get Cold all u have to do is snuggle up next to her and ur instantly rlly warm now

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

kim teaches her how to dab and calls it a symbol of respect, and so whenever nan meets someone she rlly respects she just dabs as kim cracks up

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she keeps a journal bc her memory is Shit but shes still constantly worried that shes writing it wrong, esp bc shes usually dissociating enough that she cant remember what happened, and sometimes its bad enough to warrent a breakdown/panic attack

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look shes aro/pan/genderfluid i dont make the rules. also shes autistic

IB

A: what I think realistically

they know a little bit of asl bc theyre mute, and they carry around a notebook to write in when they cant sign. bc of this, they have rlly good handwriting and are also p good at miming stuff when they need to

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they accidentally learned how to swear in asl, so whenever garry sees them doing so and doesnt know what it means (and then asks) he almost starts crying when they calmly show him the word “fuck” written in their notebook

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they have rlly bad nightmares and is ppprob misdiagnosed due to ppl thinking the gallery Wasnt Real, doesnt get proper help, and lives w guilt over what happened and has NO clue how to cope

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look. theyre nb and pan. im not saying this is a hc im saying this is canon. theyre not cishet

GARRY

A: what I think realistically

hes pprob around?? late 20s-early 30s, so its kiiiinda awkward maintaining contact w ib at first, but then he becomes a Family Friend and babysits so its all chill

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes PETRIFIED of spiders and the one time he tried to be brave and take one outside for ib he screamed, dropped it, and nearly cried.

ib is capable of disposing of spiders in the way garry prefers (domnt kill them) and does so calmly as garry sits on the counter and screams

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he feels rlly guilty after the gallery and has NO idea how to cope, so he ends up drinking a bbbbit too much and hes also not rlly able to help ib, which makes him MORE guilty, and its kinda just a spiral of depression

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans and also adopts ib and mary and theyre a happy family

MARY

A: what I think realistically

she has NO CLUE what most things taste like, but someone let her try a cherry cough drop once, and now she just rlly wants to eat that fake cherry flavor again

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she knows how to say various swear words and looked garry in the eyes and said “FUCK!!!” once and he nearly started sobbing on the spot

also she doesnt know much abt numbers and thinks that since shes 9 and garrys 20-30 and 2-3 are less than 9, shes older than him and In Charge

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she died in pain and thinking her only friend hated her, feeling deeply betrayed :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

GARRY ADOPTS HER AND IB AND THEYRE A FAMILY also shes a lesbian

MADOKA

A: what I think realistically

shes rlly good at drawin!!!! she doodles a lot in class to help her focus, plus she just rlly likes to draw, so she ends up bein rlly talented!!! she esp likes to draw her friends bc like. why not???

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

everyone expects her to be terrified of bugs and sayaka to be the brave one killing them when in reality its sayaka sprinting away as madoka calmly takes it outside and goes “dont worry its okay!!!!! :D”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels rlly inferior to everyone and, along with being shy, thinks shes honestly useless to a team. its not that she hates herself, its that she thinks shes rlly boring and doesnt have much going for her, and she has no clue how to help or communicate this

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

she and sayaka are DATING theyre GFS also madoka has dpd

SAYAKA

A: what I think realistically

shes mega bi. shes bi. she is just. bi. her first crush was wonder woman and she prob liked hitomi at one point. shes the one friend who gets crushes on EVERYONE, and i mean everyone

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when she gets bored, she makes up random stories in her head and narrates whats going on in the lives of passerby, and now she has a huge elaborate universe thats like a soap opera in her head. she has a theme song and everything

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has bpd but no clue what that IS or how to COPE, so being a magical girl was ppprob a rlly bad idea due to the lows bpd comes with, esp since she based her wish on a person/fp. so she was?? p much destined to fall into despair, even if it wasnt over kyousuke

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES!!!!!!! DATING!!!!!!!! MADOKA!!!!!!!

MAMI

A: what I think realistically

shes a rlly organized person so mess just Ticks her Off, and she spends most of her time just making sure everything is clean. its kinda a comfort mechanism at this point??? like it just makes her feel better

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

shes constantly trying 2 pick up on the current slang and be Cool w the Kiddos these days but shes always at least 3 steps behind

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has dpd but since she lost her parents and kyoko abandoned her, shes had nobody to depend on, which kinda sucks? bc like. shes constantly second-guessing herself and has no clue what shes doing and feels so alone

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes trans gay and dating kyoko

KYOKO

A: what I think realistically

shes SUPER good at sneaking around/stealing things and lvoes to startle/prank her friends w this bc like??? oh shit sayaka is ur phone missing who couldve took it, oh look madoka got a text from u wonder who sent it

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once ate an entire bowl of sugar on a dare from sayaka and got the WORST stomach ache for a day and half, but claimed it was worth it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always been rlly underweight and manages to steal food Sometimes, but has probably been caught and hurt for doing so

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

A LESBIAN DATING MAMI

HOMURA

A: what I think realistically

shes RLLY talented in a lot of areas due to the many timelines, but shes never rlly grasped the arts?? ie drawing, writing etc, and she has NO clue how madoka does it, what the hell

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

its RLLY hard to make her laugh but she can and WILL crack up if you look her in the eyes and say “egg”

on a similar, note, she once said “i want kyoko to vore me real good” completely straight-faced, deadpan

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has a LOT of trauma she could never rlly talk abt w anyone, esp a therapist, due to the timelines so shes rlly not coping at all in the slightest

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes GAY and prob dating hitomi