#does he want Sam to teach him? absolutely

[stardewstardropthoughts]

How the bachelors are when you go down on them for the first time, MDNI pls

Harvey

He’s nervous literally all the time but now especially

Does not know what to do with his hands

Worried you won’t think he’s adequate enough

I feel like he’s probably a modest 6 inches, decent girth, definitely trims but doesn’t fully shave

Very sensitive balls, will cum quickly if you play with them while sucking his cock

Kinda fists the sheets unless you tell him it’s okay to grab your hair

Will involuntary buck his hips, tries to apologize immediately when you gag around him but gets cut off by a deep groan

Let’s you know when he’s gonna cum so that you can pull away if you want, you don’t.

Is surprised when you swallow, he thinks it’s hot but he only wants you to swallow if you want to

Alex

Mans excited

He dreams about this probably like three times a week

Dudes just horny 24/7 honestly so he was agreeing immediately and ready to whip it out when you suggested it

I think he’s probably a little big at like 8.5 inches and decently thick, probably a bit curved up too

He doesn’t usually shave but I think he would for at-least the first time you go down on him out of curtousy

Does not hold back his grunts and praise, makes sure you know your doing good

“Just like that baby” “don’t stop, yoba don’t stop please” “doing so good for me, just a little more, there you go”

Literally can’t shut up, hands in your hair guiding you just how he likes it

Wants to cum down your throat, will be absolutely thrilled if you let him

Wants to return the favor immediately

Shane

Equally nervous, hasn’t had someone go down on him in a long time

Showers and trims up a bit first so he can be fresh and clean for you

I think he’s about 7 inches and a bit skinnier then Harvey, curves to the right just slightly

Definitely has experience from his college days but he may be a bit rusty

Will guide you gently until he’s sure he can fuck your throat the way he wants

Doesn’t talk to much but makes little grunting sounds and a few praises every now and then

Established some safety guidelines first, tap his thigh three times if you need to stop

Likes it rough, a very gentle scrap of teeth is fine with him

“You can take the whole thing, it’s not that hard” “that’s a good little slut, just like that”

Makes sure your alright after since he can be pretty rough, has water and lozenges on standby for you

Tons of cuddles after and he will of course return the favor if you’ll let him

Sam

Eager boy

Not the most experienced but not a virgin either

Definitely not shaved or trimmed

Probably around 5 inches, decent girth and no curve, also uncut

He probably accidentally shoved his whole cock in your mouth because he was to eager

Definitely apologizes and feels a bit bad about it

Also does not know what to do with his hands, settles for resting them on his thighs

Moans unabashedly, literally could not keep quiet if he tried

He has a napkin on standby for you if you don’t swallow

Will pull you in for a hot and heavy kiss immediately after so he can taste himself on your tounge

Does not know what he’s doing when he returns the favor but he’s a quick and eager learner

Sebastian

Total virgin I just know it

He’s so nervous he thinks he might actually explode

Shaved bare because he was nervous you wouldn’t like hair

Will not last long at all and he’s very embarrassed by that but you assure him you don’t mind

He’s about 6.5 inches and thick, curved to the left

Very sensitive balls as well

He probably only lasts around five minutes but who can blame him

He’s never felt something so warm and wet and nice before

You swallow and he’s already at half mast again he thinks it’s so hot

Teach him how to pleasure you, he’ll learn quick, that muscle memory from video game controllers comes in very handy 😌

Elliot

He’s probably only had one or two previous partners before you

He’s definitely well trimmed, basically has no hair down there, likes to keep it well maintained

Probably around 7 inches and skinny, uncut and slightly curved down

Uses his hair tie to put your hair in a ponytail if it’s long enough

Likes to hold onto that so he can gently guide you

Is a very slow sensual type of lover, doesn’t want to go to rough because he doesn’t want to ever hurt you

Literally the only time you can get him to stop talking is when he’s inside you in some form

Definitely wants you to swallow his cum but won’t make you

Also pulls you into a passionate kiss after before returning the favor

He’s very skilled with his tounge if you know what I mean 😌

[rivendell-poet]

Hello! If it’s not too much to ask, can I request platonic headcanons for the Fellowship with a female reader that’s a human teenager? She’s not as good as fighting as them, and at first glance she seems approachable and easygoing, but she’s clever and can oftentimes outwit her opponents with creative combat moves. She’s also sort of a little sister to them, albeit a quite reckless and charming one.

I just love platonic LOTR because I feel like they would all be such great friends in their own way :’) Please take your time with this request, and I wish you a lovely day/night ❤️

Hey anon, so sorry it took me this long to answer but I hope you enjoy! I'm absolutely a sucker for platonic Lord of the Rings fiction, all of the characters are so sibling-coded! You have a lovely day/night too, and thanks so much for requesting!

*･༓˚✧❝𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠❞‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « headcanons »

○ Aragorn ○ Legolas ○ Gimli ○ Boromir ○ Pippin ○ Merry ○ Frodo ○ Sam ○

GN!Reader | No TWs | Wordcount : 2.1k

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐧

✧ Years of putting up with being the younger brother of the twins has finally paid off.

✧ Never truly got the appeal of younger siblings until you came around.

✧ (Understands better than most that family is not just blood, but is based on who you choose and who you want to be around. Genuinely hopes he falls under that for you.)

✧ Worries about you but tries not to make it obvious, checking up on you in a more casual way like slowing his walking speed so he can be in time with you then ask about your day.

✧ Understands that your skills mean you should be in this fellowship - but did you have to give him a heart-attack after almost not parrying the cave troll? Poor man is already trying to keep up with the hobbits, and now you.

✧ Does admire the creativity you use in your attacks and is quick to praise it, occasionally shares anecdotes of his less-than-ordinary ‘weapons’ and how he used them.

✧ Subtly tries to get you to pick up more combat skills by offering to spar with you when Boromir spars with the hobbits.

✧ Is a very patient teacher, willing to go over things multiple times and demonstrates what to do very well.

✧ Does not appreciate the recklessness either; you have made him realise just how much he needs to apologise to Elrond and the twins for his youth. Tries to stop you from doing it under the guise that you’re ‘encouraging the hobbits’.

✧ You realise this is a ruse when he tells you it at Helm’s Deep, with precisely no hobbits to be found. Aragorn does not apologise for this.

✧ Notices you actively being charming and takes you under his wing in that regard, teaching you about diplomacy.

𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬

✧ Legolas doesn’t understand just how young you are until the topic of the Fellowship’s ages comes up and you’re the youngest by a decade. Doesn’t think this is a big deal until he sees Boromir do a slight double-take.

✧ Talks with you after and realises the age, you try and reassure him with the ‘I’m mature for my age’ and he doesn’t accept it.

✧ Firmly next to you for the first few days after it, although he doesn’t baby you - he’s just overprotective.

✧ Feels bad about not realising previously.

✧ Is a single child, to a single father, so doesn’t really realise how closely he regards you as family until he starts teaching you elvish words and family comes up. How the first words he thinks of, that he believes you should know, are ‘brother’ and ‘little sibling’.

✧ Does one of his odd elven stares at you with this realisation. You ask him and he blinks before apologising, stating it’s an elf thing.

✧ You don’t believe it and ask Aragorn. The ranger looks from you to Legolas, sees the worry in Legolas’ eyes, and decides on mercy by backing it up.

✧ Insists on teaching you archery. Isn’t sure whether to be impressed or offended when you stab an orc with an arrow instead of shooting it. It works… he supposes.

✧ Never slips up until he’s introducing you to his father in Elvish, and accidentally calls you his younger sibling instead of his friend.

✧ You know just enough elvish to realise what he’s said (combined with the look on Thranduil’s face) and smile. Then ask him later if he could have given you that realisation anywhere except in front of his father.

𝐆𝐢𝐦𝐥𝐢

✧ Immediately loves you for your charm, and the fact you engage in deep conversation with him instead of assuming all dwarves only speak basically and are incapable of eloquence.

✧ Certainly teaches you a lot when it comes to charm and wit, and by the end of your journey your speaking with a few too many dwarf idioms for a human teenager.

✧ Would totally be willing to teach you Khuzdul if you wanted to. Refuses to tell you what the terms of endearment he calls you are (‘little treasure’, ‘spark’, and sometimes ‘younger sibling’)

✧ Is very grateful none of the rest of the Fellowship know enough about dwarven culture to call him out on the little things he does for you, like making sure your weapons are polished to an immaculate degree or keeping your food warm for you using rocks.

✧ Offers to braid your hair for you before Helm’s Deep, both grateful you don’t understand dwarf customs and not.

✧ (He’d be much too embarrassed to offer you his familial braid if you knew what it meant).

✧ When you ask to braid his hair he helps you create a unique braid, with dwarvish meaning. That’s how you figure out what the braid he gave you means.

✧ As long as you’re winning your fights he doesn’t care how you’re using a weapon - he still admires good tactics.

✧ Complains that teenagers are too busy growing awkwardly to use the proper dwarven techniques of fighting.

✧ Laughs a bit too much when he tries to teach you his style and you fall over while trying to swing his hammer in a circle.

𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐫

✧ Literally an older sibling. Adopts Merry and Pippin in all but law, and will do exactly the same to you as well. You have little choice in this manner.

✧ Shows his affection to you mainly by spending time with you and listening to you because that’s what he’s always done with Faramir. However he’s fairly observant, and if he can tell you’d rather be doing something else (like whittling or scouting) he’ll happily do that.

✧ Cares more about the fact he’s spending time with you than what he’s doing with that time.

✧ Also has a minor heart attack when he realises how old you are. Knows he’s had recruits the same age as you, but this is different. He’s not actively trying to lead those recruits with him to Mordor.

✧ Very good combat teacher, as it was his job for a while. Best with a sword and shield but will adapt to your weapon of choice, he can use pretty much all of them.

✧ After he witnesses you mess up a sword-thrust and almost gets impaled he gives you his shield. You protest, and he says you can give it back to him once you’ll be able to protect yourself without him.

✧ Highly complimentary of your wit in battle, is aware of how often people overlook wisdom in combat compared to brute force (*cough, cough* Denethor) and makes sure you’re praised enough for your actions.

✧ Often speaks about introducing you to Faramir and how he hopes you’ll like each often, shares a lot of anecdotes from when the two were younger. (Has very occasionally called you his brother’s name by accident.)

✧ Tries to make sure you spend time on your journey exploring the world, like Rivendell, so that you can keep your sense of wonder. Hopes you’ll retain it even after everything.

𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧

✧ Closest in age to you, which he very much appreciates. Hobbits generally aren’t considered adults until their thirty (and he’s only twenty-nine) so jokes about the two of you being so much better than all the old corpses over here.

✧ Tries to convince you to make fun of Boromir and Aragorn’s age with him. One of his ways to cheer you up is to point at the ranger and simply say ‘old’.

✧ Did that once to Gandalf, and then never again to Gandalf. (Also tries to get you to help him with Gandalf.)

✧ In an odd way, you not being especially skilled in combat is quite comforting to him - it’s nice to know there are folk outside the Shire who sometimes struggle with this as well.

✧ Complains in a joking manner when he sees you use skill to fend off goblins and that you lied to him.

✧ “You told me you weren’t that good at combat, not that you’re a tactical genius!”

✧ Wants to offer you pipeweed but isn’t sure if you should be able to have it. Boromir and Aragorn disagree. Goes with whatever you decide (although also would never pressure you into smoking if you don’t want to).

✧ Is genuinely disappointed when he doesn’t become taller than you after the ent draft. Insists life is unfair, and that you should be down on his level.

✧ Asks if you’ll help him and Merry finally bring down Boromir honourably. (Fails to see that you coming up behind the warrior would not be considered honourable.)

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲

✧ Treats you a lot like he does Pippin, in that he’s very open with you, one of his main goals is to make you laugh, and he constantly looks out for you.

✧ Also nicknames, tries so many nicknames. Even if your name can’t be shortened he still gives you one, it’s just more nonsensical. Will see you’ve got slightly more radish in your soup than everyone else and call you ‘rad’ for the next day. Sees nothing wrong with what he is doing.

✧ Very excited to discover the Shire love for mischief and pranks is present in humans as well - or at least in you.

✧ Pippin tries to persuade you to play pranks on Merry with him, but you always side with the latter.

✧ Will not allow you to criticise your combat skills - even if it’s constructive and not self-deprecating. (“No, the orc literally almost took my arm off Merry.” “Well, with that attitude it certainly almost did!”)

✧ Tries to initiate sparring matches between you and Boromir by seeing you standing next to each other and shouting ‘fight’.

✧ This fails to work because two hobbits shouting at you isn’t intimidating, and there aren’t enough of them to circle you. He did once manage to convince Legolas to join in the chanting, however.

✧ Spends a lot of time climbing the scenery to get elevation so he can hug you without you bending down.

✧ Tells Éowyn everything about you, and is very complimentary.

𝐒𝐚𝐦

✧ Takes care of you in much the same way he takes care of Frodo. Gandalf may not have made him swear to protect you, but he’s certainly going to anyway.

✧ Often asking if he can mend any clothing that’s gotten torn, and when you get it back you’ll find a small piece of embroidery next to where he’s repaired the garment for you.

✧ It’s generally whatever you’ve been talking about and has made you smile the most in your conversations.

✧ Sometimes feels a little awkward trying to protect you, seeing how he’s only a hobbit and you’re a big folk - but he does his best.

✧ Tries to get you and Frodo to stay together so he can protect both of his friends at the same time.

✧ When he sees you fall behind in combat, he’ll sometimes offer to spar. He knows it’s not much but it puts a smile on your face and that’s what matters.

✧ Cheers you on if you spar with Boromir.

✧ Always makes sure you and Frodo have the best bits of the food. Vehemently denies this if confronted by either of you.

✧ Worries about you being on the journey, seeing how young you are, but if Frodo has put his faith in him then Sam will certainly put his faith in you.

✧ Also very complimentary of your creative thinking in combat, you can sometimes hear him talking to the other hobbits about it (absolutely with a tone of reverence/awe).

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨

✧ Probably the most grateful that you’ve come of anyone, and the second most understanding family doesn’t have to be blood.

✧ Even though Bilbo is technically just his uncle he knows they behave much closer. And when he meets you he realises that family truly isn’t about blood at all.

✧ Most used to you being human, he’s spent time with Gandalf, so he knows how to talk to you and is the quickest of the hobbits to warm up to you.

✧ He’s also the first to acknowledge he sees you as a sibling, while talking about you visiting the Shire.

✧ Instantly stops and pauses to see if you’re alright with what he just said before continuing, slightly more embarrassed but still enthusiastic.

✧ After discovering Sting he’s very willing to try sparring you, and the two of you try and learn together.

✧ He’s similar in that he tries to rely on smarter moves to beat the goblins, but often talks about yours with good-natured envy.

✧ The two of you share tricks after each battle, or at least tricks that are applicable.

✧ Often likes to sit with you and Sam when the ring is particularly bad, because you help centre him. Help remind him what he’s fighting for.

A/N : Thanks for reading, and thanks again for the request! I do love platonic lotr, so feel free to keep requesting that! Also, I now have a taglist - so that's fun. If you wish to join, feel free - and no pressure if not. Really like the idea of a reader who struggles with sword-work but is creative, so honestly might expand on that as well.

thank you for reading *･༓˚✧ wish to be tagged?

[tadpolesinyourshoes]

more od my stardew brain rot for the masses. I present:

My headcannons after life after marriage with the SDV bachelor/ettes:

Its kinda long, sorry and I also apologize for typos or if its incoherent. I'm no writer

Harvey:

You thoughy he worried avout your health BEFORE you got together, oh boy oh boy. He's alaays asking how you feel, bringing you snacks amd water while you work the farm. He cleans you up after the mines (while he lectures you about the dangers). He likes the domestic moments. The days it rains and you stay inside together with warm cups of coffee, snuggled up in the bed. Hes a classica kind of guy. He leaves roses on the table and brings you breakfast in bed. Since hes a doctor, you're both awake early. Every morning is filled with sleepy kisses and coffee. He never leaves the house without a kiss and a 'see you later'.

Shane:

This man is ANXIOUS. Hes a bundle of self doubt and insecurity. He spends his hours thinking how great you are and how itd a matter of time until you leave him. Reassure him, please. He absolutely loves every minute you're with him. Hes acrually a surprisingly good cook. He also is so good with kids. He definitely wants kids after seeing you with Jas. Hes not big on saying how he feels, but he's working on it. Instead he helps out here and there, feeding the chickens (he actually loves doing that), cleaning the house, cooking a meal when you get home late. Little touches when you're alone. His leg agaisnt yours, his hand gently in your hair while you sleep. He loves you more than anything (except the chickens. Knoe your place.)

Elliot:

He is down SO BAD. Carries a picture of the two of you everywhere. He shows you off whenever he has the chance. Hes just so proud of his sweetheart. He cooks well, but he hates cooking so you two agree to split the chores. You're his muse ans you best believe he makes it known. He leaves you poems; post-it notes on the mirror, on a napkin on the counter, written on the bavk of th grocery list, a torn out notebook page in your coat pocket. He loves when you do his hair. If you don't know how, he teaches you. On slow days on the farm, you leave the front door open for some air and you can hear him playing piano.

Alex:

His love language is tackling you (physical touch). You walk through the door and hes hugging you, kissing your cheeks, picking you up and taking you to bed. He can't cook, but he can bake. Evelyn taught him and he treasures the skill. For every anniversary, no matter how small, he makes a treat. He loves helping you around the farm because its an excuse to walk around shirtless and flex for you. He also has a weirdly green thumb. The crops wont sprout and the season is almost over? Send Alex to water them. The next moening you have a bounty like no other.

Sam:

He has ADHD so he does that peguin pebbling thing where he finds random objects and brings them to you because 'this reminded me of you.' He can't cook. For the love of yoba don't let him cook unless you want to remodel your kitchen. He still tries to be sweet though. Hes not a morning person, but when you wake up early he stumbled put of bed, hair messy, eyes closed and follows you like a sad puppy. Hes so clingy. Like SO clingy. Personal space. Gone. He talks to you through the bathroom door, holds you while you sleep, wants to be next to you all the time. He also loves your animals, especially the chickens. He has one favorite, but he won't say it (he might hurt the others feelings). Sometimes you come back from town and hes sitting outside on the porch talking to the chickens, who look strangely invested.

Sebastian:

He loves you so much, but he hates that everyone KNOWS he loves you. You gush about the sweet things he does to your friends and he goes bright red in the ears. The townsfolk ask about you so he tries to avoid having to talk to them. When you're alone though, he's the total opposite. Hes quiet, sure, but he does whatever he can to help you out. A kiss on your cheek before he goes to water the crops for you. Makes you a cup of coffee after work. When he was little, robin taught him how to carve and widdle. He makes you cute wooden figures, usually modeled after your animals. He takes you to the city for weekend date nights. He asks you to go on rides just to feel your arms around him.

Leah:

She treats you like the most beautiful painting shes ever layed her eyes on. When you're sitting with her on the beach, she'll paint dancing swirls up your arms to your hands. (Maybe you get it tattooed one day and she cries). All the paintings in your house are made by her. Much like Elliott, youre her muse. She makes you sit so she can paint you or practice sketching. But she can never get enough of you. When you lay together, she meticulously traces the shapes of your body. Your hands, your nose, your hips. Everything about you is perfect to her.

Emily:

She's a free, creative person. She wakes you up late at night to look at the stars and dance by the river. Shes been making a quilt out of scrap fabric for your bed. She tries to tesch you how to sew it so you cam be a part of it. She helps you with the crops and picks fresh vegetables when theh grow so she can make you beautiful dinners. She loves to cook for you because you always have something good to say about it. She could be on food network, you swear it. Every day when she gets ready, right after putting on her lipstick, she kisses your cheek to leave a little mark. You leave it there while you do your chores.

Penny:

Penny is naturally an early bird. She wakes up each morning with you. You two share a few minutes of quiet before stsrting coffee. You take turns making breakfast. Penny is so used to keeping the house up by herself after living with Pam, so being with you is a breath of fresh air. But she still likes to help you out. So before going to teach the kids, she helps out in the garden. You pass by in town while shes walking the kids home. You join them on their walk and Jas starts asking you for that princess story again. As you tell it, you see Penny's cheeks go pink. Its only the story of how you met. But to you it felt like a fairy tale. You walk home with your wife every day, sharing stories of your day while settling down on the porch.

Abigail:

Shes high energy. She heard about it, she wants to try it. Take her to the city to a nigt club and she'll dance circles with you all night. She makes you matching bracelets and you never dare to take it off. When you go down to the mines, she wants to come with. She doesn't fear them, but that scares you. You have to convince her to stay with the farm every time. But you always bring her a beautiful gemstone back. You think the amythest brings out her eyes. Shes a decent cook, actually. Contrary to what Sam and Sebastion may say. Her recipes are odd, but somehow, they always work out. Shes not a morning person, she won't get up even if you shake her. But somehow she knows if you forget to give her a kiss on your way out the door.

Haley:

She takes a million pictures of you. She loves to. You hide your face, she tells you how much she likes your smile. You're working on the farm and hear the shutter click. She likes the ways your arms look when you roll up your sleeves. After a long day in town, you bring her flowers. Shes always waiting up for you. She likes to slow dance in the living room and hear about your adventures from the day. She tells Alex about how great you are. Everytime you walk by and catch her off gaurd, she fixes her hair so she 'looks nice'. You just kiss her and tell her she looks nice all the time.

Maru:

She loves to help you out on thr farm. Just not... conventionally. She is her father's daughter, so shes always making you new inventions to make the farm run smoother. Better fertilizer, fresh feed thst produces better eggs, though she was banned from tending the animald after one of her feeds turned your chickens eggs bright pink. She loves to walk around town with you, always with your hand in hers. She's not a cook, but she still tries to learn from you. Shes learning, but she mostly just likes getting to be near you while you cook.

[stardewremixed]

Stardew Valley Employment Headcanons

I've been thinking a lot about how many folks in the Valley don't work. In some ways, it feels realistic. A small town that is clearly dying until the Farmer comes along struggles with unemployment rates. It could be related to high taxes (*side-eyes* I'm looking at you, Lewis) and competitive megacorporations (like Joja) undermining the local economy. However, I'd like to do a little headcanon for the residents and their job situation.

Under spoilers, because TL;DR.

Abigail - after graduating with a degree in art history, Abigail starts working out in her mother's fitness group. She starts swimming at the spa. And she starts a workout regiment with Alex. Of course, this leads her to finally join the Adventure Guild full-time, protecting the Valley and exploring the depths of the mines. She still jams from time to time with Sam and Seb. I also like to think she leads a local Scouts troop.

Alex - this man deserves to have an amazing job as a pro gridball player. However, while he waits, he could coach a local kids team at the Community Center. I can also see him work part-time stocking shelves at Pierre's General Store. Maybe he lifeguards at the Ginger Island Beach during the busy season or drives deliveries out to Sandy in the desert for Pierre. Or he could work with Robin. Mmm... this man, chopping wood... fantasies. He still sells ice cream in the summertime maybe on the weekends or at festival days (because come on, Pierre needs a little competition and I love the idea of pineapple ice cream at the luau and stardrop sorbet at the moonlit jelly fest). I also see him doing odd jobs around the valley until he gets more stable work at Pierre's or Robin's. Need someone to fix your leaky roof? Alex is your man! (Because Evelyn mentions George can't do it anymore).

Elliott - I still like the idea of Elliott's secret wealth and he escaped his family to become a writer. However, maybe he regularly submits poems and sonnets via various contests online under a pseudonym, and does a few freelance articles (maybe on small towns, fishing, romance, etc.). This man deserves to publish a masterpiece and make it on a bestseller list, then gets an agent, and of course, publishes a series. He still does readings in the Valley at the library and the Saloon because he always wants to remember his humble roots and the people who cheered him on when he was a nobody in the business.

Emily - She absolutely needs to start a side-business as the town tailor. It's kind-of already in the lore, but I could see her starting up an online business (maybe with the help of Seb) on an Etsy-esque site. Also, I can see her helping out on the farm for a little something extra when she's not working at the Saloon. Maybe tending to the flowers, watering plants when the Farmer is in the Mines or off on the island or in the desert for the day. She mentions she would like to do this, but Gus apparently frowns on a side job. Hmm... well, I can see this girl eventually leaving her job at the Saloon to pursue her sewing passion full-time. She totally hosts a yoga class in the winter at the Community Center.

Harvey - He is already a well-respected town doctor, but the man is so stressed that he is hardly ever in the Clinic (at least not without mods). I propose Harvey hires some extra help, an associate, maybe another nurse, and a receptionist to assist, especially if patients from surrounding towns (like he mentions) start visiting (i.e. expansions). And he teaches first aid classes at the Community Center.

Haley - Like Leah, she needs an art exhibit to showcase her photography. Unlike the other villagers, I don't see her staying in the Valley, eventually pursuing the work of a freelance photographer and traveling the world (like her absentee parents). She does make an annual trip back for the Flower Dance, her favorite festival. I have pursued Haley the least in game so I'm struggling to come up with more ideas here.

Leah - Speaking of Leah, she transforms the Valley into a premier art destination. She can teach art classes at the renovated Community Center. She teams up with Seb and Sam (and drags Elliott along for the ride, and the writing) to produce an avant-garde film about the art all around us in small towns. I also think she grows her own herbs and sells them at Pierre's, festivals, and the Farmer's Markets (as she gives me green witch vibes). Maybe she partners with Caroline (or the Wizard) to create some herbal potions and creams. And of course, she's still at it with woodworking, though these days she works on commission for those types of projects.

Sam - This man deserves to be a rock star. And I think he'd make a great solo artist. However, if his guitarist dreams don't pan out, he has options. In the vanilla game, he starts working with Gunther at the museum after JojaMart closes. It's a strange choice, but... I figure, maybe he minored in anthropology in college. He would absolutely give amazing tours of the museum, full of exuberant commentary, perfect for kids field trip days too. And I think he plays gigs in Zuzu City and at the Saloon regularly, and maybe even out at Sophia's winery (Stardew Valley Expanded).

Maru - Nursing just doesn't really seem to fit this woman of multiple interests. She finally pursues her passion of robotics and goes to work in a proper lab in a nearby City (doesn't have to be Zuzu - my headcanon is Pine-Mesa City or Grampleton from Stardew Valley Expanded). I think she makes regular trips to the Planetarium too. I could see her visiting the Valley on long weekends, and maybe taking the local kids club on a night-time stargazing event in the summer.

Sebastian - Please give this man a proper window in his basement, Robin! Okay, if he doesn't marry the Farmer, Seb moves out anyway and goes to live in the City for a while, to find investors for his indie game studio. In the meantime, he continues to do freelance programming work. And then, one day, he makes a breakthrough game that revolutionizes the industry. After making A LOT of money, he invests in a SAVE-THE-FROGS campaign, hires multiple developers and other staff, and starts working on his next big game. But he still makes time to jam with Sam and Abi from time to time, and of course, take long rides on his motorcycle.

Penny - This poor woman needs some love. Penny pursues her higher education and officially receives her teaching license. She is hired by the local school district so she can do more than just tutor. She can finally afford her own little apartment. She starts a kids club in the Community Center, and creates a summer reading program at the Stardew Library. And I like to think she takes a monthly trip to Zuzu City to shop in a big bookstore for fresh reading material when she has some down time.

Shane - Oh this guy is definitely a mess. If you don't "romance" him in game, he doesn't really turn his life around, and even if he does, it doesn't really point to recovery as it should, imo (without the help of mods). This man hates his job, and yet he feels stuck. I propose the following. After he recovers in therapy, completes rehab, and genuinely quits drinking (forever), and of course, loses his job at Joja (suck it, Morris!), Shane starts working at Marnie's shop and contracts out as a farmhand all around the Valley. Then he can be a proper godfather to Jas, and provide some actual service at the Ranch (when Marnie's off doing who knows what with you know who...)

I have thoughts for the other Villagers in the Valley too, but I'll save those for a different post.

[its-time-to-write]

I’ve always had this idea that reader is like, one of the fittest people that work at AFC Richmond, like she can hold herself in a fight. Maybe she does boxing and the team shows up to support as a surprise and they’re all like DAMN. And a certain Manchester man goes googoo over her and ALSJDISPDODJKLL I feel like in my mind it’s an idea with lots of potential behind for any character matchup and scenarios but yeah that’s it (ps I love your writing it brings me so much joy!!)

got it! thanks @coloursofyen for a) the ideas and b) keeping me on track with these last few fics.

I rage-wrote this fic bc I accidentally saw the Man City score before I had a chance to watch it. I’m very upset rn😂 Also, I know nothing about boxing.

move fast and keep quiet

Ted’s been on this thing recently, where one day of training out of every five is a “physical and mental enrichment day,” which is a fancy way of saying the team does yoga or some shit together. Recently he’s been bringing in this boxing coach for “the team’s aggressive tendencies,” in wake of the whole West Ham debacle, and no one’s quite sure if that was really the best response to the situation. Teaching AFC Richmond how to fight better? Maybe not the best idea. 

You’ve been coming once a week for a month now, teaching them how to spar on the pitch. Isaac, Jamie, and Bumbercatch are definitely the most enthusiastic about it, with the way Isaac studies each punch, Bumbercatch practices the footwork, and Jamie asks a million fucking questions every single time. 

According to Sam, he’s been an absolute menace, practicing his moves through the halls of Nelson Road.

“What is your problem?” Jan asks one day. “Can you not just walk to the gym like a regular person?”

Jamie shrugs. “Where’s the fun in that?”

It isn’t long before word goes around the dogtrack that Jamie has a crush on the boxing instructor.

“You like her,” Dani singsongs. Jamie doesn’t deny it. 

“She’s mad fit. Even her smile,” Jamie defends.

He’s not exactly wrong. The team starts an unofficial countdown until their next training session, and are disappointed to walk into the regular setup when the day rolls around. There’s a whiteboard with a new play from Roy and Beard, and the whole team barely tries to hide their disappointment.

“Oi, where’s Jamie’s girlfriend?” Isaac asks the moment Ted walks in.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie interjects.

Ted points to Jamie. “We’ll unpack that later. For now, I need you fellas to get ready to run this new play Coach Beard and Roy have cooked up. I want everyone ready to show a lotta teamwork.”

Richard raises his hand. “Coach, where is Jamie’s girlfriend?”

Jamie puts his head in his hands and says, “She ain’t my girlfriend, lad,” but it doesn’t matter. The name is going to stick.

Ted says, “She’s busy training for a match tomorrow, but she’ll be back next week. She told me to tell you all that she hopes you can come watch.”

Sam loudly whispers, “You mean she hopes Jamie will come watch,” and the rest of the team says oooh.

“Fuck off,” Jamie replies, but he’s blushing.

—

They end up commandeering the team bus. 

The fight is… well, let’s just say it’s convinced Jamie that he needs to make the “girlfriend” jokes a reality. He will never admit how smitten you make him, what with the way you’re dodging and weaving, wiping sweat from your brow as your braids fly. But when it’s all over and you’re announced the winner, he’s almost positive you can hear him cheering over the rest of the crown because he’s just so damn happy.

The team waits around while the rest of the arena clears out, but Jamie can’t wait. He slips away from the group and asks a security guard where he can find you. The guard looks at him and states, “You’re Jamie Tartt.”

“Yeah,” Jamie responds, unsure of what else to say because it wasn’t exactly a question.

“She said you could come back. Follow me,” grunts the guard. Jamie turns around to make eye contact with Sam before hurrying after the security guard.

“In here.” The guard points to a door then leaves Jamie alone, staring at your name printed on a metal plaque. Shit, how good must you be to have your name here?

He knocks once and hears you call, “Come in,” so he pushes the door open. You’re sitting on the floor downing a bottle of water, still sweaty. There’s a bit of blood dried to your forehead and Jamie is a little worried that he finds it sexy.

You smile at him and pat the floor next to you.

“I’d get up, but I’m really fucking tired,” you say. “She got me good.”

Jamie slides onto the floor next to you. “You were fuckin’ amazing,” he says. “Made me rethink my whole career.”

You wheeze out a laugh. “With the way you run your mouth? You’d get brained in a week. I make sure none of my partners hate me. Me ’n the girl you saw tonight are going out to lunch tomorrow.”

Oh. That’s new information for Jamie. He’s trying to figure out if you mean lunch as a friend thing, or if you’re going on a date. Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea.

You nudge him with your shoulder. “Oi, what’s your deal? Upset you’re stuck as a sad little footballer when you could be getting punched out on the daily like me?”

Jamie shakes his head. “Nah. Just thinking how cool it were tonight.”

You grin and take another swig of water. “Hey, you wanna take me out on a date?”

Jamie chokes on air. After a moment he manages to cough, “Sorry, what?” and you shrug.

“Told myself if you came back here after the match I’d ask you out. I let security know you could come back if you wanted, and I figured you might be kinda fucking interested if you tried to get back here without me inviting you.”

“Uh huh,” Jamie says, still trying to get his breath back.

You look at him sideways. “Is that a yes? It’s all good if not.”

“No, yes!” Jamie says. “It’s yes. Where do you want to go? When’re you available? We could do something tonight if you want.”

You make a face. “I’m absolutely knackered. I was planning on going home to take a nice long shower and then passing out.”

Jamie nods. Right. Sounds logical.

“You could join me,” you suggest, and Jamie chokes for the second time.

“Jesus, Tartt, you’re excitable,” you tease. “It’s just a shower and some sleep. Although I might be convinced that I didn’t get enough cardio in tonight. Depends on if you’re willing to drive me home so I can nap.”

“Done,” Jamie says immediately. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

You grin as he pulls you up off the floor. “Oh,” you say, studying his perfect lips, “one more thing before we go…”

[scoobydoodean]

Looking at your recent posts/reblogs has reminded me of how much I hate the conversation between Dean and Bobby at the beginning of 4.22 when Dean is trying to deal with the fact that Sam has chosen to trust Ruby instead of him, when Dean can see that he’s obviously being manipulated, and, in response, Bobby just says

You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!

and I feel like that line just summarizes how so many people view Dean both in the show & in discourse about it: that whenever he’s upset by something someone does, he’s being overdramatic, and the tension it creates is his fault for not just accepting that his loved ones will make him miserable.

(& the context of the quote is kind of the perfect example of this because Dean has spent the whole season trying to deal with his own trauma from hell & the fact that the angels won’t leave him alone while also continually giving Sam chances to be upfront about what’s going on with him and trying to warn him that Ruby is manipulating him into doing what she wants, and when that tension finally breaks because Sam refuses to believe—or even consider—any of Dean’s suspicions about Ruby, Dean is basically told by Bobby that he should just let it go)

I agree with you—and that speech is absolute trash.

To frame Bobby's reaction here a little, he and Dean have some conversations in 4.21 and 4.22 that I think leave Bobby pretty unsettled. I think his emotional reaction is driven by that.

In 4.21, Dean and Bobby don't see things the same way when it comes to Sam's demon blood detox and they also disagree on Dean intending to sacrifice himself by signing himself over to the angels to protect Sam. So I'd say leading into 4.22, Bobby is already apprehensive about Sam and Dean both being killed. We know he didn't weather Dean's death at the end of season 3 well.

In 4.22, right before Bobby blows up at him, Dean is also jumping to some conclusions about his relationship with Sam that are pretty extreme.

DEAN No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again. Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants. BOBBY You don't mean that. DEAN Yes I do, Bobby. Sam's gone. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore. If he ever was.

I think Dean having to work through thoughts like this is understandable given probably less than 24 hours ago, Sam was strangling him unconscious in absolutely seething rage, had spent the entirety of the season lying to Dean and then getting indignant when Dean caught on, and reiterated the incredibly damaging things he said about Dean's hell trauma from 4.14. At the same time, I don't think Dean's thinking straight. Sam's motivations in the demon blood arc are incredibly multi-faceted... but hating hunting or their family simply is not part of this situation. This is made most clear to us just a couple episodes before in 4.19 (where Sam tries to push Adam into hunting and praises their father for teaching them to protect themselves—and this certainly didn't go unnoticed by Dean who confronted him about it). The bit about not wanting to hunt hasn't been true in years and won't resurface again for several more. It seems like Dean is just swirling through a lot of unaddressed hurt and misunderstandings from the past as he processes through the last year.

I think Dean saying he is done trying and he has tried and tried and tried and he is not doing it anymore is completely reasonable (he also has no idea yet that Lilith is the last seal), but I think when presented with the harm Bobby knows Sam is doing to his body by proceeding, thinking about "his boys", Bobby sees Sam as being in more imminent danger and wants Dean to reach out one last time to try and get through to him. Dean's rare show of verbal processing sets Bobby on edge and because he's human too, he says some stupid things. And if we're being real, Bobby is like this sometimes. I love Bobby to death, and in a general sense, I think he's very caring and supportive toward the people he loves. But when he himself is scared or angry or otherwise agitated, his patience evaporates and other people's vulnerability makes him upset. "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" is a more sympathetic example of this. Bobby is angry and raw and deeply depressed, and Dean's well-meaning love and support—no matter how casually offered—is received like poison because it reminds him that he is not okay. The same sort of language about Dean being a pansy and how they're both going to "grow lady parts" shows up from Bobby in this episode.

I go back and forth on what Kripke was thinking when he wrote that dialogue, because the man is absolutely obsessed with the exploration of "toxic masculinity", which I think he's done well at times and extremely poorly at others, and I think Bobby's speech clearly embodies that interest. At the same time, I actually do think that, leading into season 5, there are some aspects to the fallout of Sam and Dean's season 4 conflict that are ultimately just very lazily brushed over and so I do think he bought the shit he had Bobby shoveling to an extent. Setting the content and tone aside, in a vacuum, the idea that Dean has to be the one to reach out—while exhausting—plays into the idea of Dean as the hero character. And when I say this, I don't mean that Sam isn't a hero. Sam is VERY much trying to be the unconventional hero this season. But Dean is often made to embody the concept of the righteous hero as an ideal, and part of being the righteous hero in season 4 means ultimately being... right (in more ways than you even knew) but another part of it is having to be the bigger person. Your wrath has to be tempered by love. We could go further down this rabbithole as far as themes and meta narrative, but none of this, from a human perspective, makes me like this speech any more. It just sucks balls.

[twilight-saga-headcanons]

how the pack feels about having children :3

Sam

Loves kids, is terrified of being a dad. His worst nightmare is turning out like his own father, so he would be very careful with his children.

One or two would be great, a boy and a girl if he was extremely lucky, but only after the rest of the world settles down a bit - when he won't have to constantly worry about their safety.

Jared

Oh goodness, he would love to have a little group of kids one day. He always wanted siblings of his own and never got them.

Kids also love him!!! He doesn't know why, but kids always flock to him in public spaces despite his size and threatening stature.

Paul

Doesn't like other people's kids; would love his own children to death. Doesn't really know how he would be as a parent, but hopes he would be a decent one. He thinks - hopes - he would be stern but fair.

Embry

Very wary of children in general, if only because he doesn't know what to do with kids. How many times do they have to eat? How do diapers work? Did you know that you have to watch them like 24/7??

He thinks it might be because he was never around young kids, but he would have to think a loooooong time about whether or not he would want one of his own.

Jacob

Jacob honestly goes back and forth. Some days he definitely wants kids, other days he doesn't. He thinks it really might depend on whoever his significant other is.

Likes kids, but likes being able to return them to their parents at the end of the day, you know? But also thinks that it's probably going to be different when it's his.

Quil

Would be an AMAZING dad. He loves children to pieces, he really does, always has.

The only problem when it comes to Quil and kids is that he is NOT a disciplinarian. He would happily let them get away with anything because he just can't say no.

Leah

man, Leah loves kids. The thought that she won't have them makes her want to bury her face in her hands and cry.

Would like to have two or three and she would absolutely spoil them rotten. She would teach them to be strong and powerful and would never let anyone hurt them.

Really would be a great mom, if a bit overprotective.

Seth

too young to even think about children. He thinks that maybe a long time from now that he might want kids if he meets the right person, but right now, he doesn't even want to think about it.

They're always sticky and they smell weird and he just doesn't want to deal with that.

[stardropsaloongossiptrain]

Bachelors and Having a Baby

I saw another hc blog do this and I wanna do my own take~

Sebastian --

Extremely shocked when you tell him you're pregnant, but would react with a blank face and "oh, huh. Interesting." It does not sink in for a few minutes to an hour, and then he's losing his fucking mind.

Never thought he would be a dad, and convinced himself he would be a bad one. Even if him and the farmer weren't using protection, it still blindsides him

He cuts back on freelance work to help more around the farm, especially in the last trimester. The farmer is NOT allowed to do anything more strenuous than play video games. He will prob call on Abigail and Sam to help, he's not exactly the most athletic guy in the world.

Despite his fears that he wouldn't do a good job, he certainly works to make sure they won't come true. Reads a lot of parenting books and talks to Robin a lot. Those talks heal a bit of the rift between them.

Robin jokes that she's too young to be a grandma, but Demetrius cries when he's given a World's Best Grandpa mug. Maru happily steps up as an aunt and will spoil the baby with custom made toys and a ton of STEM for baby books.

Abigail and Sam are the chaotic aunt and uncle I imagine Shane was to Jas. They will babysit (mostly Sam) but expect funny pictures and wacky situations.

Elliott --

He is overjoyed when you tell him the news. He's going to be a papa! Lots of hugs and swinging you around. He doesn't strike me as the type to seek parenthood, but would lovingly embrace it once given to him.

It doesn't hit him for a while that a baby is going to mean changing his lifestyle quite a bit. No more all nighters, he won't be able to write for hours and hours at a time anymore. He finds it worth changing that aspect of his life to adjust to this new addition, a physical manifestation of your love.

Starts to change his habits early on so he'll be better suited after the baby arrives. Fully supports when you go nest mode and will move the furniture around as much as you want.

Has had a list of names for years before you even meet him. And all of them are beautiful

Leah takes on an aunt type roll, and loves teaching the baby about art and colors.

Sam --

Panics hard at the announcement. It doesn't matter that you're married, he still feels like he's sixteen sometimes, and he's worried about getting in trouble

Jodi and Kent are overjoyed at becoming grandparents, and Vincent thinks it's cool he's going to be an uncle.

Abigail and Sebastian make fun of him for being so worried about it, and help him get ready mentally to be a dad. They may need to remind him how much he helped with Vincent.

Once he calms down and realizes his family isn't going to be mad and his friends will stick around, he's extremely excited. He helped make an entirely new person! Someone he can teach music to! Can you skateboard with a baby?

Happily becomes the stay at home dad and handles a lot of the childcare.

Absolutely writes banger after banger of goofy songs for his kid

Alex --

I think he would be the type that always wanted to be a dad, just to spite how bad his was. When you tell him he's going to be one, he's over the moon. One of the few times you ever see him cry is when you tell him about the pregnancy, and again when the baby arrives.

Immediately befriends all the moms in Pelican Town and joins their gossip groups so he can get their advice and help as you prep for the baby. They adore him. He's like their pet.

Gets into what-to-expect books and takes over farm chores basically as soon as you tell him. No, you don't need to be doing all of that. He's got it. Which, I do think he would be pretty involved on the farm. I don't think he's the type to slouch while his spouse does everything. You can trust that he'll do well.

Evelyn and George are shocked by the news. George especially didn't think they'd live long enough to see it. They both love the little one quite a bit, and despite George's general attitude, he only speaks sweetly to the baby.

Haley will absolutely bury you in baby outfits as gifts.

Harvey --

Probably the most panicked on the list. He's not an ob/gyn but he IS medically trained and knows how easily everything can go wrong.

This doesn't mean he isn't thrilled and amazed in equal measure. Sure, you knew it was a possibility, but... He's so happy. He always wanted to be a dad, and now it's happening! He gets very misty-eyed.

He starts taking over cooking to be sure you're getting all the nutrients you need. You will find snacks in your bag, all healthy.

He also wants you to cut back on the farmwork, maybe hire someone for a season or two to hold it down. He would take over if he could, but being the town's only doctor keeps him too occupied.

He will absolutely do every type of birthing partner class.

He also helps set up the birth plan. He handles your medical needs until the birth. The plan is to go to Zuzu City about when the baby is due, deliver in the big hospital where he can be by your side and let someone else be the doctor. This plan fails when you deliver early and he has to step up. Everything goes well.

Shane --

He never thought he would be a dad. He didn't think he was good enough to take in Jas, and for the longest time, he didn't think he was good enough to be involved enough to have a kid.

He's come so far since when you first met. He's still got his issues, but he has a healthy grasp on them anymore. He isn't filled with loathing when you tell him, but tears up and holds you close. He feels incredibly lucky to have someone that loves him enough to welcome a child from him.

He is excited to prep for the kid. He was around when Jas was born, so he still remembers a fair bit about the baby years.

Jas can't wait to be a big sister. She likes playing with Vincent, but it would be even better to have a brother or sister. Marnie tears up when you both tell her the news. She's already a great-aunt to Jas, but looks forward to welcoming your baby as well. If you call her Grannie she will melt.

Shane absolutely faints in the delivery room. Man thought he could handle it. He cannot.

He's a very attentive dad. He never, ever wants this part of him to feel like it's not loved or good enough.

[fiprobsreblogsalot]

I'm supposed to be revising for my selection test but Sambucky being disgustingly domestic won't get out of my mind

Bucky may be allergic to spices (as most white people of the 40s were, sigh), but he bakes really well and makes killer waffles and cakes. Doesn't even help that Sam has a sweet tooth

Bucky absolutely hates detergents for clothes except the detergent Sam uses because it doesn't smell like absolute dogshit (it smells like Sam)

Both of them prefer fresh groceries. The canned peaches are Bucky's only exception even though Sam convinces him otherwise ("Fresh peaches are everywhere!" "But the canned ones—")

Sometimes their dates are just Bucky riding the motorcycle with Sam sitting behind, holding on to him while they talk and laugh

Bucky knows every order of Sam, in every restaurant and diner, by heart

Figaro likes wrapping himself around Sam's shoulders, and Alpine likes being wrapped up in Bucky's jacket. When they switch people, Figaro perches on Bucky's shoulder, and Alpine curls up in Sam's lap or arm crook

Bucky either puts too much creamer in his coffee or none at all. It all depends on the mood

Bucky liked Starbucks until Sam convinced him they could buy their own coffee machine ("the kind for professionals and addicts, you know"). It all goes downhill from there for both of them

Sam still gets his pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks, though

Bucky can't sing to save his life. Sam really likes karaoke

Sam kinds of hate tailored clothes because of how long they take and the many people that clamber over him to get his measures. Bucky always gets Sam's measures before they go to a tailor shop.

Sam thinks the industrial strawberry milk flavor is disgusting. Bucky digs it anyway

Bucky doesn't like fair food, but getting to kiss the sugar off Sam's lips after a shared cotton candy is really great

Sam is terrible at dancing. As in the kinds from the 40s and older. Bucky teaches him and fakes exasperation when Sam accidentally steps on his feet (he really wants to kiss his laughter at those times)

Bucky did the robot dance out of spite because of that one time Sam called him a cyborg. And then he does it again and again just to hear Sam laugh

Bucky is the most horrible tourist. The kind that buys "I love New York" (with a red ass heart for "love") shirts and the ugliest caps and those blurry hideous keychains of tourist attractions

They definitely buys dumb couple things in secret. Like those socks that hold hands

[oddlydrawnpuppets]

My favorite frames to draw from the TikTok I just posted! Click the images for better quality :)

Find the TikTok here:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRp3o5kW/

Anyway, MORE INFO about Tucker, Jazz and Sam’s outfits!! My HC is that the ancients used to be prevalent in society but people stopped worshiping them so they stopped interacting with humans. Even if the ancients wanted to interact with people they have been in the infinite realms for so long they can’t relate to humanity anymore. So Clockwork along with some other Ancients decided to take successors to do what they normally would in the human realm, knowing that a younger ghost would care more about humanity.

So you may or may not know about that ep. Where Tucker becomes a pharaoh but I really wanted to lean into that and have him be mentored by Horus, bc he’s protector of Pharaohs and just a symbol of protection in general and Tucker is a great embodiment of that, so OFC Horus would give him a nemes headdress, and Tucker would give his look a more modern, comfortable style with a hoodie and his regular cargo pants.

Undergrowth would definitely take Sam under his wing, after having to profusely apologize for using mind control against her. She made her outfit herself, like she does with all her clothes, using the gaudy dresses her parents buy her instead of throwing them out. Undergrowth would teach her how to use the plants as her eyes, (bc in my au Sam is legally blind) and so she has him embroider plants in her clothes.

And last but definitely not least we have Jazz! My thought is that Pandora would mentor her, and become a great mother figure to her and Danny. Pandora has her hands full guarding the box, but she wants to rid the world of its evils, and Jazz wants to help do that. Pandora insisted that “she is a princess, she must dress like one!” And made Jazz a beautiful dress from the finest silks she had. She even gifted her a beautiful tiara to match. Jazz is absolutely loving it bc what teenage girl doesn’t want to feel like a princess?!

And if your wondering who Danny’s mentor is… mostly clockwork, but all the ghosts have taught him a thing or two. Nocturn is definitely a father figure to Danny. He spends a lot of time with him, letting the boy ramble on about space for hours, as he sits and listens. He also makes sure Danny gets enough sleep, and that his dreams are pleasant. With the help of clockwork, he sometimes gives Danny prophetic dreams to help him with what is to come.

[new-tella-us]

How would the boys react to Mika being pregnant? Would they know before her (I feel like James would) and what kind of fathers do you think they’d be?

Well they would all be happy by default. It seems to be in the succubus instinct to REALLY wanna further your lineage so, naturally they would all want this on a genetic level.

However. Mentality always beats genetics. Let's go into that.

If any guy could know that a girl was prego before the girl herself, James would in fact be that guy. I think of all of them he would be the most.... pleased? I guess? I feel like that's not the right word but happy isn't the word I'm looking for either. He was the crowned prince. Other than ruling the kingdom well, having an heir was probably the highest priority he was taught. Plus he does dedicate a good chunk of his life to making sure his brothers are happy and successful in life. It would be natural for him to be a family man.

Though as a father, one hurdle he would force himself to get over is his emotional distance. He knows that he's not the most emotionally open and that was fine when it was just Mika and she seemed to understand but he's aware that his judgmental nature and distance would negatively affect his child so he would work that out to give his child the best chance of a good life. On a positive though? That child is gunna be educated as fuck! They are going to read higher level books as a teen than most people do ever. Easy ticket to a stable life.

I feel like Erik would have a feeling but also after the events of Demon War, he would be a little doubtful. He says himself that he would be happy if Mika was the mother of his child so he would happy with the pregnancy, his only concern would be for Mika's health and safety. I kinda joked about this in a previous post but because of the whole "demons are born with tiny horns" thing, that could probably scrape up Mika's insides especially since -if the kid is born with horns like Erik's or his mother's- that shit is coming out of the sides of their head. So O U C H.

As a father though, I can see Erik being very doting possibly to the point of mildly spoiling the child. He wants to give his child all the love and freedom his mother denied him, giving them the opportunity to do any activity they could ever want regardless of how it seems socially. He would essentially be raising his opposite for better and for worse.

Sam would absolutely NOT be able to tell. He probably didn't even think it was possible. He would be shocked but happy. I don't think he sees himself as the fatherly type but he's more than willing to learn. His concerns will change based on what route you're on. If you're on the King Sam route, his concern would be the race of the child. Sure Mika was turned into a succubus but how much of that changed her genetic makeup? Would she make succubus children or human children? And, the more concerning part, how would the kingdom react? They barely accepted Mika as their queen, they would NOT accept human children as their future rulers. Sam would rather not have to fight his entire kingdom, yknow?

By contrast, if you went down the default good route, Sam couldn't give less of a fuck about race if you paid him to. Now his concern is how he's gunna raise the kid. Royalty gives you structure, without that he has to freestyle.

As a father, I can see Sam as kind and soft but only with his wife and daughters. Yes I said "daughters", I made a mother's day drawing that shows Mika and Sam having twin girls. (So like double OUCH on the birth for Mika) Sam is your typical overprotective dad type. He wants his girls to be safe so he will protect them with his life. He would also teach his daughters self defense so they can protect themselves once they're grown.

Matthew would also not be able to tell. If Mika gets morning sickness, Matthew would be more concerned that she's caught something from work. Though when he is told, he will be SQUEALING with happiness. He would absolutely be the happiest of the five to be a dad. It's far beyond "biological need", he genuinely wants to be a parent. Mika is not lifting a goddamn finger for any of the chores or physical work. Hell even Simon Tabby causes fewer issues to not stress Mika out.

As a father, he would be fun loving. His child would never be bored or feel neglected as long as he's around..... However, like Mother, like Son. It's not that Matthew is anywhere near as crazy as Aezera but he would probably share a few of her values on family and magical education. He would prioritize the child's happiness and self expression while also making sure that they are well trained and well educated especially in magic. After all, even if the child doesn't show immediate promise, he had a runt phase too. They just need some training. This is the exact way Aezera raised Matthew, with Matthew just being not invasive or horribly controlling. Definitely an improvement, still room to improve though.

I would say "Damien is a mindreader" but he isn't at this point! YAY! So he might not figure it out until he's told. Now, I think Damien would be happy, however after seeing a video from Michaela, I realize he would have more of a nuanced response. His anxiety would take hold as he questions if they even have the physical and emotional resources to care for a child. On top of that, race comes back as an issue but it's now the opposite. Has Damien's DNA changed when he was truly turned human or would he produce demon kids? How would two humans deal with human-demon hybrids? He would be terrified of any of his kids gaining his mind reading seeing how miserable it made him and he would probably also be concerned from Mika's safety with the horns thing again. However, when his anxieties calm down, he would show more of that happiness. The best part of the next nine months would be Mika and Damien getting to set up their child's room and fill it with everything new parents need.

As a father, I think Damien would be a sweet but stern dad. Teaching his kids morals and kindness so they can grow up to be empathetic people. As much as his last interaction with his mother broke his heart, from how heartbroken he was we can tell that Damien's mother had a close relationship with Damien once. I think he would try to reform that relationship with his child and mimic all the things he loved about his mother hoping that his kid could view him the way he viewed his mother. Where I think his fault would lie would be his slightly possessive nature and his PTSD. That would extend to his children and may make him stifle them in an attempt to keep them away from danger, real and perceived. Though an honest conversation, either from the child or Mika, would help.

[shrinkthisviolet]

I would love to hear your thoughts on the Johnny / Daniel conflict over Daniel stopping the fight! Personally, I think Johnny is wrong on multiple levels. If he really thought the best way for Tory to work through her grief was to fight it out, I disagree but different people have different coping mechanisms, but he shouldn't have offered Sam up as a way to do it. Even if Johnny was completely ignoring Sam's well-being and was willing to put her in danger, Tory just apologized and was forgiven. How would she feel if she hurt sam all over again because she was fighting over-emotionally? If Johnny really thought she needed to fight, he should have offered to spar with her.

But also, I think he's wrong about her reasoning on wanting to fight in the first place. To me, it didn't seem like she wanted to hit someone or unleash her anger or work through her feelings. It seemed like she had a very specific goal of becoming the girls' team captain. Sometimes, when you go through intense grief instead of working through it, you want to distract yourself by doing something productive. Her goal was to win the tournament for her mom. To do that, she needed to be captain. That's why she wanted to win, and she wanted to do it by fighting because she wanted to honor her mom by proving she's "a fighter." Because Daniel and Amanda are well-adjusted people, they probably could have helped her through it in the moment, but Johnny undermining Daniel reinforced what Kreese said to Tory by implying that he was playing favorites, causing her to storm off. She literally says the same thing to Amanda that Kreese says to her, that "when push comes to shove you're always gonna choose her over me" and it's after Johnny implies that Daniel is playing favorites. Johnny essentially pushed her back to Kreese by making her think no one else would prioritize her, and all because he projected his personal issues (from when he was a grown adult, and that got him sent to jail) onto a teenager he's never really seemed to care about before now.

This is also the first scene I can think of where Tory and Daniel interact, and i wish we could have gotten more. She's had great moments with Amanda and some more with Sam after she apologized. It would be nice for her to complete the circle and have a nice interaction with Daniel. I think Daniel has the most to teach Tory when it comes to karate and balance, so it would be nice if he actually got to do that, lol. I heard that Peyton said in an interview that Daniel was right to stop the fight, and I hope it does actually get explored in part 2.

Love this take! You’re absolutely right. Johnny was wrong to want to continue the fight—Tory hadn't fully processed her mom’s death, hadn't eaten or slept in 24 hours, hadn’t even been hugged or supported in any way. That’s not the time to jump into a fight...and that’s how everyone ends up hurt (and yep, if Tory had hurt Sam in that state, that would’ve just compounded her grief and made her feel guilty on top of it). So glad Peyton agrees!

And YEP—Tory wanted to continue that fight specifically, to become captain and fight in the tournament. Johnny missed that (and so did at least a handful of fans). Daniel and Amanda were right there to support her, and Robby could’ve too, but as you said, Johnny reinforced “oh you’re playing favorites” (reinforcing Kreese’s words…even tho that wasn’t Johnny’s intention, it was still the wrong time to say that regardless. Read the room, Johnny, ffs) and killed any progress that could've been made*. The fight could’ve been postponed for a day (or at least half a day) until she got rest, food, and support—it didn’t have to happen right then and there.

*none of them should’ve let her walk off, and I’m pissed that they did, but they could've gotten somewhere with Tory to begin with if Johnny hadn’t interjected needlessly and had just TRUSTED DANIEL AND AMANDA

(Plus, Johnny comparing losing his mom at 30 to Tory losing hers at 17-18 felt weird to me. Loss is loss and hurts regardless of age, but people deal with it differently, and age is absolutely a factor in that)

Tory and Daniel have so many parallels, especially in s5...I was absolutely looking forward to them interacting this season. Alas...it was just for this, and Daniel never gets to bring up that he lost a parent as a child too—he KNOWS what that feels like and how much it hurts (and he lost another in Mr. Miyagi, but that was as an adult, so the actuation isn't quite the same).

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Sorta nsfw and VERY goody but SDV Bachelors (+ expanded bachelors maybe?)’s reactions to the farmer telling the gay rooster joke? If you’re unfamiliar, the joke is: “what sound does a gay rooster make? …ANY-COCK’LL-DO-!”

Phah! I've never heard of it! 😄

Thanks so much for the question, dear anon! Btw, I won't put an NSFW warning, as there's not even much of a hint of a detailed description of anything vulgar here. Anyway, enjoy! 🫰❤️

SDV and SVE bachelors react to a gay rooster joke from the Farmer:

Sebastian:

Sebastian did his best to make an indifferent grimace, but gave in.

"That's really dumb." He said it while chuckling and shaking his head. "If Sam had been around, he would have died laughing for sure."

A great way to make Sebastian smile is a gay joke. Alright noted.

At times he can counterattack when Farmer once again showered him with such humour. Farmer's reaction to Sebastian is peerless.

Most of the time, though, Sebby will blush and try to hold back laughter. No, he's not laughing, shut up.

Elliott:

The poor man tried to fiddle a smile as best he could.

"Yes, quite a funny joke. Hmm, a little vulgar for my taste, to be honest with you."

Sorry Farmer, but he's a well-mannered and refined gentleman, and such obscene puns are not to his taste.

(Which doesn't stop him from laughing at the joke after the fourth or fifth mug of strong ale).

Elliott's cheeks will turn tomato-coloured if the Farmer continues to shower him with such jokes in the presence of other residents in the Valley. Yoba, give him patience.....

Sam:

Sammy laughed like a madman for about fifteen minutes. God, he absolutely has to tell this to Sebastian!

He decides to also surprise the Farmer with a gay joke, and basically, this starts a competition to see who tells the best gay joke (Lewis caught the two of them and scolded them for profanity and vulgarity).

This competition has reached a state like in vine "Bro I have a dream we fucked" (you can consider this the start of a bromance or romance if the feelings are mutual).

Just so long as his little brother doesn't accidentally overhear his jokes, or there will be a LOT of questions from Sam's dad and mum.

Shane:

Shane nearly choked on his beer when Farmer finished the joke. "Ok, that's a good one."

For a few days or so, he'd been going over that joke when he was working at JojaMart and smiled faintly. Shit, It's really funny.

Decided not to stay in debt and meet Farmer next time with a similar joke. Their surprise and laughter brought amusement to Shane.

The only rule to Farmer was not to tell it to Jas. And under no circumstances teach her such jokes, or Shane would get angry, and then everyone would definitely not be laughing.

Harvey:

"......." "I beg your pardon?"

If Farmer thought Harvey would like such a vulgar joke about the male genitalia, let them think again.

The lack of a smile and slight irritation made it clear to Farmer that the doctor didn't appreciate such a pun.

Harvey will give Farmer some children's booklets that tell Farmer the rules of behaviour. If that's how they behave, they'll need it for sure.

If they told him in front of children or the elderly, Harvey would have a hard time suppressing his own urge to grab them by the ear and shove them out the door of his clinic.

"OK, how about this joke: an apple a day-" "Don't."

Alex:

About half a minute passed while Alex tried to make sense of it.

And then burst out laughing. "Pfft! Hah!"

Decided to get on the internet and learn a couple of jokes like that to catch the Farmer off guard and laugh from their facial expressions.

Actually, they should be good friends with Alex so he wouldn't threaten to punch them in the face for such jokes. And so - friendly banter, hey!

The two joke around until Lewis catches them and threatens Alex that he's going to tell his grandmother. Alex snaps, but stops (sorry Farmer, but he loves his grandparents and doesn't want to upset them).

Victor:

*nervous laughter* "Hahaha, you're so funny! (Please don't tell that joke to my mother...)."

Victor had made a few jokes and puns himself on more than one occasion, but they were never vulgar. He was not allowed by his upbringing.

But in order not to offend the Farmer and not to be the one in the company who alone didn't get the joke, he would laugh a little pretentiously.

Victor would blush horribly if asked if he even understood the point of the joke.

If Olivia is around in their presence, poor Victor will burn with shame (No, mother, they didn't mean it-).

Magnus Rasmodius:

Magnus looked at Farmer disapprovingly and shook his head. "Every day we're getting further away from Yoba..."

So they distracted him from important matters for the sake of telling him this, excuse him, tasteless humour?

Sorry Farmer, but Magnus doesn't want to hear that sort of thing in his presence. And, frankly, he wouldn't advise them to make jokes about roosters and... so on, considering Farmer's quite a good person. That kind of vulgarity doesn't suit them.

He'll give them a heavy scolding if they make such jokes in front of Morgan. Maybe even threaten to wash their mouths out with soap.

Lance:

Lance's silence and faintly perceptible smile confused Farmer.

At the same time, the gallant adventurer is trying to think how to tell Farmer politely that their joke is terrible and vulgar without hurting their feelings.

Merciful Yoba, Lance is too well-mannered to even think of such a thing.

He won't correct the Farmer, just subtly hint that their choice in puns isn't a good one. Especially with ladies and children around.

Still, there may be a time when Lance will cover his mouth with his fist so as not to give away his laughter if Farmer decides to tell this joke to one of his colleagues (the unfortunate colleague is likely to be Isaac).

[t0ast-ghost]

Watching Star Trek TOS for the first time, and here are my thoughts on episode three (Charlie “X”)! (I didn’t do episode two cause I just wanted to watch it but I love Bones)

- so far I really like the kid

- Kirk shut up, let Charlie talk

- oh no he’s frightened by the door :(((

- girls do not look THAT different, getting some bad vibes from you Charlie

- BONES!!! (Why does he stand like that, it’s so curved)

- “I want people to like me” oh god they gave this boy anxiety

- He’s learning about the patriarchy, like Ken

- Kirk making Bones tell Charlie about puberty, he looked so defeated

- SPOCKS EYESHADOW!!!

- Charlie gets a Kirk assigned father, it’s not Kirk himself but he did assign Bones to do it, can’t you see the man is tired Jim?!?

- why is she being mean to Spock in verses? Nvm this is fun and he’s enjoying her singing

- HE SLAPPED KIRKS BUTT WHAT

- “there’s no right way to hit a woman.. you know man to man.. uhh… you understand, Charlie?” That was the worst way to try and explain anything, Kirk

- “I put meatloaf in the ovens, now there’s turkeys, real turkeys” then Charlie’s little laugh

- aww they’re playing chess together, normal husband activities

- “you smell like a girl” “I feel hungry… all over” back the fuck up Charlie

- stop trying to get Bones to explain stuff to him, Kirk

- this episode is just so icky, one issue is that they can’t just have an adult conversation and they can’t explain anything properly to him, they’re just telling him no and that he’s wrong. It’s a good example of how concealing information doesn’t allow people to find their own morals but instead creates a bunch of rules which can be easily broken if the person doesn’t believe in them because they don’t understand the logic behind them. (Not saying that the boundaries they’re setting for him are wrong, he just can’t understand them because they’re not explaining shit)

- SHUT UP SAM HE’S TRYING- oops Sam’s gone

- damn that German expressionist lighting tho, like something out of metropolis

- I FUCKIN DARE YOU KIRK, PICK HIM UP SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- okay Kirk saying it’s his choice is good cause at least he’s teaching him that these things he does are his own actions

- “short tempered, because he doesn’t understand” cause you won’t explain shit without mind games and metaphors

- Spock and Bones DO NOT want to get involved

- when Charlie’s explaining what he did to the Antares Bones looks absolutely terrified (Bones sitting like that on the table is… I have many thoughts)

- OH NO UHURA!

- Don’t you dare call Spock Mr. Ears

- “Teenager with supernatural abilities realizes his full potential and decides to use it for evil NOT CLICKBAIT”

- Why would you do that, why would you turn her into an iguana

- GET HIM!!! Wait no! Janice!

- “I love you” “you don’t know what that means” good for her, fuck you Charlie

- He gave Kirk period pain

- “cause you need me to run the ship, and I need him” Spirk? It’s more likely than you think

- this slide from Bones

- “I don’t think you can handle anymore, you’ve reached your limit” Spock and Bones start fucking shit up immediately for Kirk

- Kirk was so ready to punch a bitch

- nice fucking try Charlie- oh Kirk is defending him- nvm he still gets yoinked

- imagine if Charlie becomes Q lol (is that a thing? Are they related?)

- well that’s done now… where’s Scotty, Sulu, and Checkov? (Sulu appeared shirtless in the credits as I wrote that)

Thanks for sticking around again :)

Here’s a link to the first ramble

And all the other rambles

Below the cut is some thoughts I had on the second episode

Some thoughts on episode 2 (The Man Trap):

- it was kinda funny seeing Jim be like “she’s old as fuck, just like Bones”

- I didn’t realize that was where “he’s dead, Jim” came from and my dad quotes it all the time

- it was interesting that even the creature referred to themselves as an animal

- McCoy in the ending where he really didn’t want to kill somebody he loved even if they were just the image

- would not want to be the person to explain what happened to her to Bones

[vieramars]

Bc the post I just reblogged gave me ideas here's a bunch of silly tmagp headcanons about what kind of pet owners they'd be

Sam - he's allergic to cats, and he used to be terrified of dogs. When he dated Alice she had a dog, and he pretended to be comfortable around the dog until it became genuine. He's still uncomfortable around most dogs but if he gets to know them he really likes them. I don't think he'd own a dog though. I think if anything he'd have a bird (maybe a canary hehe). He got the bird before he was really ready or understood its needs but then dove headfirst into research and now he knows enough about owning birds to teach a class. Also he got really into birdwatching and bird ID as a side effect.

Alice - she's a cats and dogs person, can't have one without the other. And she's actually responsible about it and socializes her pets together well. I think she'd also really like bug pets like tarantulas and mantises. She's a bit of an amateur bug keeper but she's doing her best. She did once accidentally have a mantis last eggs and then her entire apartment became the Mantis Domain for a few weeks.

Gwen - probably wasn't allowed to have pets as a kid and internalized that way too hard. She thinks having an animal in your house is "dirty." She is definitely befriending the stray cats around the area of the OIAR (she will deny these accusations to the grave). She doesn't try to, but they keep coming up to her so how can she refuse to give them scritches? I also think she's incurably scared of dogs. And she's absolutely a horse girl deep down. And, tragically, I'll hc that she really wanted a pet fox when she was a kid (until, you know...)

Colin - as we know, he's the world's best fish dad. I think it's fish and only fish for him, though maybe some other aquatic creatures. I feel like he thinks he's too much of a mess to have a pet that requires space. His fish were a therapy recommendation that he got really invested in and, like Sam, he did tons of research to figure out which fish were right for him and how to take care of them. If he wasn't busy fighting for his fucking life he'd probably have multiple fishtanks so he could keep different kinds of fish that don't mix so well.

Lena - I feel like she does not vibe with traditional pets at all but she really vibes with fish and reptiles. She doesn't want pets that require an emotional connection. She read that one post about how reptiles may not feel love in the way human society values but they can have a bond of trust and she felt personally called out. I'm torn on whether she actually owns any pets; I feel like she's both too busy and too afraid of failure to actually take the life of any animal into her own hands. She's been "waiting until she has the time" since she was 20. She knows or knew people with reptiles and would go over to their places just to chill with the creatures. Somewhere on her computer are a bunch of old pictures of her holding various snakes and lizards and they're the few pictures where she's smiling. If she survives the series relatively unscathed (by which I mean alive to a certain extent and able to carry on) someone please get her a snake.

Teddy - seems like a dog person. Probably has a very chill old dog who's well taken care of. The kind of dog everyone loves when they visit cause he just walks up to you, plomps down, and waits patiently for pets. Teddy's worried about being able to take care of him if he can't find a job soon.

Celia - I don't think she'd have a pet, since she seems to not want to form too many attachments to this world. With how much stress the dilemma of Jack is for her, a pet would just complicate things further. If she were able to though, I think she'd be a cat person. Also I love cat person + bird person dynamics so it feels fitting.

Bonus headcanon Klaus was one of Lena's reptile owning friends who owned an iguana. He took the iguana with him in the friendship divorce.

[spookyspecterino]

hey, I love your writing so much!!! pls can we have a fic of the moment sam realises he is in love with the captain 🥺 I imagine he’d probs suppress his feelings in the beginning out of concern for cora but has a moment where he realises & wants to say something but doesn’t know how 😭

I know this ask is a few months old and I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get here. My motivation has been rock bottom these last few months lately.

I did the ol "5 times this man thinks he's in love with you and the first time he tells you" kinda deal. Hope you like it <3

GN!Dusty/Captain x Sam Coe | No warnings, it's all fluff

The first time Sam thought he might be in love with his Captain was when he saw them picking up books from a dusty library in an abandoned facility. The old things were practically falling out of your arms, scattering across the floor, and undoubtedly slowing you down.

He picks up the books you’ve dropped, following behind you as you try and make room in your outfit.

“What’re these for?” He asks, holding them patiently as you stuff a book (or two) into your belt.

“If I told you, you’d think I’m a softie.”

“Oh no…” Sam laughs. “You’re spoiling her.”

Your smile isn’t as well hidden as you think. “I’m aiding her education.”

“She’s already taking college level classes.” He hands you another book and watches as you shove it down your shirt.

“It’s either this or giving her money. And no, I won’t take neither as an option.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

He opens his mouth to say more, maybe to scold you for trying to break your back. But something in your eyes stops him, it’s a certain glitter and that little quirk of a smile. It’s enough to drive him crazy and instead of allowing himself to smile he looks away.

“Ok, I’m good.” You slowly stand up straight, swaying a little and trying to balance the added weight. “Let’s get out of here.”

His rough sounding retort is perhaps a shield for himself. A carefully constructed wall. “Just don’t make me carry you out of here if you end up breaking an ankle.”

Your laugh makes it all the harder. “Oh, yee of little faith.” A pause, maybe a heartbeat in length. “You wouldn’t heroically carry your captain out of here?”

He still won’t look at you. “With all those books? I’d break my back.”

“Don’t lie, you’d do it.”

He shakes his head, turning himself around to check behind. The facility was empty, completely cleared, he was doing it so you didn’t see his grin.

- - -

The second time Sam thought he might be in love with his Captain was when he slammed his fist down on the comms console, ending a fight with Lillian. He leans over the flashing board, closing his eyes to shut it all out. To try and regain some notion of control.

Another button lights up—it’s Lillian, calling back to have the final word. As she usually does. He can’t do this anymore and he doesn’t know how to say it. He’s about to press that button, about to let her have the final word just so he can get some goddamn rest, when a hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Hey.”

It’s you. Amazing, wonderful, infuriating you. Always here when he needs you the most and always here to complicate his feelings more.

“She just…” He spits out, finger resting on the button. A little push would open the comms with Lillian again.

“Yeah, I know.” You wrap your arm around his shoulder. Not quite a hug, but still supportive. “Want me to talk to her?”

To your absolute credit it makes him chuckle, albeit a little dryly. “What would you say?”

“Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it!”

He removes his finger from the button, turning to look at you from over his shoulder. “What?”

“Mhm. Oh, my other favorite one is ‘Mule Barn. Head ass speaking!’ Just to really throw her off.”

It’s so absurd he genuinely laughs. “I’m almost tempted to let you, just to see what she would say.”

“She’d probably hang up.” You lean against him—god you’re warm. “Problem solved.”

Rubbing a hand over his face he can’t help but smile. “Don’t teach Cora any of those or that’s all she’ll ever answer with.”

“Well…”

“Don’t.” He playfully pushes into you. Your other hand wraps around him, it’s officially a hug now.

“Ok, I won’t. Scout’s honor.”

Seconds pass in silence. Sam stands in your embrace, not wanting to leave but also feeling his carefully constructed walls beginning to crumble.

“I’m gonna—” He starts, but you’re also speaking.

“Why don’t—”

Something hangs in the air, something unspoken.

Removing your arms but keeping one hand on his back you step around, flicking a few switches. The comms panel goes dark. The flashing light that is Lillian’s call blinks out with finality.

“I’m gonna take over the watch. Go get some sleep.”

“Alright.”

Sam leaves without another word. He has to, or he might say something ridiculous.

- - -

The third time he wasn’t even aware of it.

“I really do not understand your jokes, Sam.” Andreja grumbles. “Or why the captain is laughing at every single one.”

Sam scratches his beard, trying to control himself. Next to him, you’re doubled over in your chair still laughing. “You have no sense of humor, that’s all.”

“I have humor.”

“She does.” You add in, recovering. “Just when it’s about dead stuff or killing. Dad jokes aren’t her thing.”

Andreja gives Sam a triumphant look.

“Ok, ok.” Sam holds up a hand. “I’ve got another one.”

The way you lean in with a growing smile makes him pause for effect, his own smile matching yours. “Today, my son asked, ‘Can I have a bookmark?’ I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.”

And you’re back to laughing, just like that. Head thrown back and everything. The lodge is full with the sound of you. Sam can’t get enough.

“I do not understand. You do not have a son—” Andreja is looking between you and Sam, who is laughing purely from your reaction.

From the upstairs railing, Barrett leans over. “I’m not impressed, Sam. Real bottom of the barrel stuff.”

“Then why is the captain laughing so hard?” Sam calls back up to the man, motioning to you, who is still wheezing.

Barrett shakes his head. As he walks back to his room, Sam can barely hear him. “You know why.”

- - -

Sam’s walls are carefully constructed for a number of reasons. 1) He was a ranger and that’s how it’s meant to be, you can’t let anyone in and that’s a lesson that’s stuck with him; 2) he has Cora, a little girl who has enough instability in her life. She doesn’t need any more; and 3) once the wall is down it might take years to put it back up, and he just doesn’t have the time or luxury to deal with that.

But goddamn is it hard to keep the bricks together around you.

You have this way of finding a hole, an imperfection, and tunneling straight through. The universe must have sent you to him with a sledgehammer in the back of your pocket.

“Oh, oh! This is my favorite part!”

Sam didn’t even mean to start sharing his music with you. It just came up. And then you both started singing.

He’s full of this euphoria that he only feels when he and Cora do something together. And he hates it, he hates how he can’t control it either, how it bubbles to the surface when you’re around. It fills him with so much fucking joy he can’t stand it.

Every attempt at patching the hole, the little tunnel you’ve made for yourself, is subverted by you finding somewhere else to slip in. Another crack that erodes away just enough for you to fit through. His gruff words, attempts at distance, or even talking about Lillian are all met with the most heartwarming support. It really breaks a man down. Are you even aware of that? Are you aware of what you’re doing to him?

Your voice rises to a pitch that’s too high for you and it crackles with effort. Without even thinking, Sam takes the lower tone, going so deep that his throat burns. You both sound like howling lunatics. But Sam isn’t embarrassed, it feels nice.

Goddamn it—it feels great.

Something in the back of his mind urges him to pull away, to leave, to say something belittling, but he can’t bring himself to do it with the way you’re grinning and acting. Playing out the song like you’re in the band that sings it, with a touch of dramatic flare that has his mind reeling.

Another thought strikes him as he pretends to take the imaginary microphone from you and belt out the lyrics. You cheer him on singing another note that’s way too high and laughing when your voice cracks.

Maybe feeling this way isn’t a bad thing.

- - -

The fifth instance couldn’t come at a more inconvenient time.

“Reload!”

Sam picks up another missile battery and slots it into the back of the literal cannon on your shoulder. “Ready!”

Your finger pulls the trigger and the weapon hums, heating up. It grows louder on the verge of firing, and Sam presses himself against you to avoid any blowback.

The recoil is enough to jolt you both and he holds you steady. Somewhere in the distance, an explosion rocks the Spacer compound.

“Ha! How ya like that, assholes?!”

“Is taunting them the best idea?” He pulls out another battery as you both scramble back behind cover.

“You know I can’t help it, Sam.” You pant, looking absolutely alive.

He laughs, despite the knot in his stomach. “Yeah. Silly question.”

“You want to see something else silly?”

He catches the absolutely insane look in your eye and is shaking his head. “No! No, I really—"

But you’re gone after that, darting out from behind cover and sprinting toward the line of spacers.

That knot in his stomach flips and twists until all of his insides are writhing. Bullets, lasers, and everything the Spacers have are thrown your way and all Sam can do is just watch.

You’re somehow unscathed as you make it to where the Spacers are crouched. Sam is about to join you when he sees movement from rafter above. No less than four grenades are hurled at you. He stands trying to shout, but the explosion cuts him off.

It’s dead silent after. Nothing moves except the debris falling.

The spacers above retreat further into the building. Sam is up as fast as his legs can manage, even stumbling as his feet scramble over one another.

A number of horrible, gut-wrenching images flash behind his eyes as he sprints to where he last saw you. He wasn’t sure what he would find, and if he cared any less for you, he may not have lunged into action so quickly. But he did. He cared a whole hell of a lot.

When he reaches the place he saw you duck down, around some flimsy metal pieces of machinery, he sees the black scorch marks from the blast. He sees the remains of the spacers that were there a few moments ago. And he sees a dead body—for a spilt second Sam thinks this is you, but the suit colors are wrong.

It’s not you.

The body shifts and is moved to the side.

You’re underneath. Miraculously in one piece.

“Do I still have my legs?” You ask, breathless and wide-eyed.

“Yeah…” Sam is trembling, just staring at you.

You notice his strange stare. Uncertainty and a hint of fear colors your voice. “Am I missing anything else?”

“No.”

“Then why the hell are you looking at me like that?”

Because he almost lost you. Because for a few seconds he thought you were dead, and the idea of that was too much for him to imagine.

Because he loves you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.

“I…” He starts, completely overwhelmed.

His world was overturning, a flurry of emotions threatened to give him whiplash. He wanted to hug you, he wanted to yell at you, he wanted to laugh and cry and scream, he wanted to devour you and leave nothing for anyone else.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you give Sam a once-over. “Are you ok?”

“Don’t…” He lets out a trembling breath. “Don’t do that again.”

- - -

It’s a normal day, a particularly boring one too, when he finally tells you.

He finds you sitting at the flight deck, reading. You don’t notice him, so enveloped in your book that the outside world isn’t a concern. You must be reading a particularly intense part; your brow is furrowed and your lips twist in that peculiar way they do when you concentrate. If he said it now, revealed the deepest—most secret—part of himself, would you even notice?

“What’s up, Sam?” You look up at him as you turn a page.

“Didn’t mean to disturb you…” he drawls. It’s a partial lie.

You keep the book open, turning it over and using your knee as a bookmark. “You’re not.” Your smile is reassuring. What’s going on?”

For a moment, he thinks about dropping it. Retreating back to that status quo, something comfortable. Back behind his walls—the walls that were barely there now, riddled with holes and gaps. You’d done your work on him.

“I uh…I needed to get something off my chest.”

You take the book and close it completely, setting it on the console. “Ok, go ahead.”

The carefully crafted list of talking points Sam had circled like angry bees in his head. He was never really a talking points kind of guy, so he threw them all out and decided to wing it instead.

“During the last fight, in the spacer compound, you were a dumbass.”

That wasn’t exactly the best way to phrase it, and he knew that. Strong start, moron.

You only smile patiently at him. “I like your honesty.”

“Well…my point to that is, after traveling with you—fighting by your side—picking up books for Cora, that she doesn’t need…” He struggles, hands moving to try and articulate what he wasn’t capable of. “I’ve come to—to not only respect you, even when you make crazy, dangerous decisions, but…”

He swallows, but finds his throat is completely dry. “I—you…” He groans, and every coherent thought flies from his mind. “You make me crazy, in the best way. I never know what’s coming next and I love that. You care for Cora, when that’s not your responsibility—you help me through all the shit with Lillian, when it’s not your problem.” He spreads his arms out. “And when you throw yourself into danger like that, I feel like I’m on the verge of losing everything.”

Your face is soft. Vulnerable. Maybe he’s gotten through to you, but he needs to say it. He won’t rest until he says it.

“You are my everything.”

Why can’t he come out and say it?

“Sam Coe.” You stand from your chair. “Are you in love with me?”

“Yes.” His answer comes out in a great whoosh of breath. This weight that’s been pressing on his chest for months is gone. He can breathe. And suddenly he can say it.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been trying to hide it, rationalize it away, or just ignore it, but I can’t. Not anymore, not if you’re going to keep throwing yourself into grenades.”

“I won’t do that anymore.”

“You swear? Because I am too old to go through that again, next time it might kill me.”

“I swear.” You move closer to him. “When did you fall in love with me?”

Sam chuckles, scratching his neck. At this point he doesn’t register you haven’t said anything about your own feelings back to him. “When you were trying to break your back carrying all those books for Cora.”

“That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah.” He shifts his weight. “I don’t want to cause any kind of a rift between us—I really just needed to tell you how I felt.”

“I’m glad you did.” You pause, looking down at your hands. “Because this creates a pretty big conflict of interest.”

“What?”

“Well, you see, I was actually going to ask Lillian out—”

“Please tell me you’re fucking joking.”

“—and adopt Cora—”

“You’re playing a joke on me. I know you are; I can see you starting to smile.”

“—we’d all move in with Jacob—”

“For Christ sakes, you’re laughing, give it up.”

“—one big, happy—” You bust out in laughter, almost doubling over as Sam shakes his head.

He’s trying not to laugh as he turns to leave. You grab his coat sleeve. “Wait, wait. I’m sorry, you just—your face was—"

“I tell you I love you and you make that joke?” He looks down at you, holding your arms and bringing you closer to him. “Unbelievable.”

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help it.” You lean your head into his chest. Your voice is muffled. “I love you too.”

“What was that?”

“I love you too.”

He leans his head down. With your face still in his chest you can’t see his shit eating grin. “Didn’t catch that. One more time?”

You look up, gritting your teeth and trying not to yell. “I. Love. You. Too."

Your faces are very close together now, a hair’s width apart. Sam is still grinning. He opens his mouth slowly.

“Sam.” You warn. “I’ll never say it again.”

“I’m going to call you on that bluff.”

You caress the side of his face before giving it a light tap. “Funny.”

“You love my jokes.”

The noise you make as you pass him is less than satisfactory. It has him trailing after you further into the ship.

“What does that mean?”

“You know what it means.”

He trails you all the way to your quarters and through the door as you invite him in.