#does not apply to all circumstances

[ravenbloodau]

Y'all;

If you fell safer hugging your friend then you do your official romantic partner... You're with the wrong person.

If you feel more loved in one hug from a friend than you ever did with all the hugs from your lover. You're with the wrong person.

(disclaimer below cut)

(unless you don't like hugs, then I guess you're good either way unless there are other red flags like your partner letting their friends cop a look down your shirt or doing stuff you've mentioned you're not comfortable with or in general a lack of openness and communication in the relationship. Needless to say this doesn't apply to all relationships as each relationship has tons of nuance between all parties involved.)

[quarks-pussy]

Mirror Kira is something that can actually be so personal

[sysig]

Beautiful gilded cage for a beautiful gilded bird (Patreon)

[piplupod]

me, frequently: i think i am somehow secretly a terrible evil person who needs to isolate themself so nobody gets hurt somehow by the rot that is hidden away at the core of my being

also me, while arachnophobic: i have to catch the spiders that get inside so I can release them outside bc it shouldn't be up to me whether i take a life or not, every life has inherent value and beauty simply by existing, and i have to put them into separate containers while I wait to transport them outside because I don't know if spiders would fight or cannibalize each other when kept in close quarters, and I'll make sure I dont have them in eyeline of each other and also make sure a couple sides of the container are covered by something so they feel safe and don't get too stressed out

[itspileofgoodthings]

the hanging on for 10 more minutes past the point it all seems hopeless advice …

[boyczar]

[gailynovelry]

Having Toybox thoughts rn, don't mind me if I post the actor's core character beliefs on main;

Kelly believes that he is a bad person, no matter what anyone says.

Vio believes that he is a bad person, despite what everyone else says.

Sable believes that they are a bad person, because of what they think everyone must be saying.

Pumpkin believes that she is a bad person because of the things he has done.

Redd believe that they are a bad person because of the things she has been unable to do.

Sapphire believes that she is a bad person, and justifies it because this is a dog-eat-dog world here.

Aure is unable to think of himself as a bad person in any capacity, or his entire worldview will fall apart.

Ivory believes that she has proof that everyone is a bad person, and that the proof also applies to herself.

Furthermore, for the Playwright and the Doll (player character);

The Playwright believes that humanity's nature is so base as to make everyone a bad person, and that they are simply proving this true through the time loop.

The Doll believes that humanity's nature is not inherently evil, and that the conceit of the timeloop forces everyone involved to carry out bad actions, as influenced by the beliefs that they already have.

[royalreef]

(( I don’t know if I included it before when I talked about everything that the waterbreathing charms that Miranda gives to people do, exactly, but I DID abruptly remember that they should make it so that anyone who’s wearing one is unable to get dizzy.

On land as well as underwater — the charms themselves have no way to “detecting” if someone is underwater or not, since that’s more complicated and creates more problems than it solves, so technically, if you were given a waterbreathing charm by Miranda, you abruptly cannot get dizzy in any physical way.

I imagine it doesn’t do anything for sensations of dizziness caused by emotions ( or maybe it does? it would be useful, since they are taking people who might panic at all the sensations that come along as a result of simply being underwater, down to where that can really become an issue ), but more importantly, I don’t think it would affect balance either.

It would probably serve more of a “band-aid” function as a magical artifact, able to remove the sensation of dizziness after the fact, without physically altering anything or doing even more intrusive magic on the rest of the inner ear that controls balance. Since these are primarily intended to be used for guests and people who are just visiting, comfort and end-user experience would be the primary concern, and so something simpler would be far more ideal than anything deeper.

[oca-rinn-a]

pet breeders are so unwell, makes me fully sick

[kavehayati]

I honestly wish people cared more about depression and other issues rather than saying they care but scrutinise a person so horribly when they show symptoms associated with said condition 🧎‍♀️

[viorhysealberia]

You know, since I’m here at work sitting on Gaiden more without anything else to think about rn, I gotta get the thoughts out of my head on how I love how sincere this game is with Kiryu.

Past games always worked so hard to, yes, deconstruct and add depth to his Tough Masculinity, but also worked to make him a Cool Super Action Hero who fights his way through everything and never kills and saves the day and his he’s Just So Cool - but here, even while he keeps getting into fights, the focus is placed SQUARELY on his compassion and empathy. The focus isn’t on how hard he has to fight to win; it’s firmly on what he’s fighting FOR, on the risks he’s taking for what he loves and believes in, and makes clear that this IS what defines Kiryu, more than his fists and meatheaded willingness to fight his way through anything. What defines Kiryu is his empathy. What defines Kiryu is his refusal to senselessly take lives. What defines Kiryu is his willingness to stick his neck out for people who need him, to care for the people around him no matter how much it hurts him. And no matter how much he doesn’t know how to close the gap that forms between himself and others thanks to his decades of trauma and heartbreak and survivor’s guilt, it’s that side of him that defines the things Kiryu’s done, it’s THAT side that changes the lives of those around him, that makes people wind up liking the guy, that gets him out of tough spots when nothing else will. The action stuff makes for fun gameplay and the franchise is still plenty stupid when it gets down to it… but this is SUCH a personal, comparatively lowkey story that really defines the kind of guy Kiryu is, and shows that it’s the One Man Army side of him that’s secondary to his empathetic side, not the other way around.

I don’t know how to explain it, really, but just the way the game shows what he does and sticks him with whatever comes of it… it feels like there’s a genuine understanding that Kiryu’s compassion isn’t there to make him Cool alongside his fists, it’s what serves to make him Kiryu Kazuma, the strong-hearted Dragon of Dojima who’s defined the good in the series, and that this game is FIRMLY about HIM, instead of him being The Central Fighter Of A Big Story.

GOD this series’ shift to an unironic Power of Friendship, Goodness Matters RPG storytelling setup has genuinely rounded out all my complaints with Kiryu’s stories in the past. This is Kiryu’s writing at its BEST and I don’t even think I’m halfway through this SIDE STORY.

[shisurus]

okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.

and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.

i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?

and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.

and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.

so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?

but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.

it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.

[bibluebutterfly]

Hoo boy. Now I've made it known multiple times on my blog that I LOATHE the whoobiefication of Vox, but lets get into why/how Vox is NOT a good person nor a baby that needs protecting and why he's all the better for it. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen, this will be long.

Now, why isn't Vox a good person? Easy. Because he (along with the other Vees) is supposed to be the bad guy of the story. Shocking, I know. Vox was NEVER intended to be a good person, and some of y'all just need to accept that.

Now for the long part: HOW is he not a good person?

Well, first of all, his literal introduction is an ad selling drones HE DESIGNED specifically for stalking,"peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish"

Right off the bat, this tells us he doesn't care about people unless he can profit off them.

Which is also backed up by the point that he ADVERTISES Val and Vels "love potions" which are basically just roofies.

Again. This man ONLY cares about profit first and foremost, screw the people who can get hurt/SA'd by his products.

Next, he has a power of hypnosis which he is NOT hesitant to use. He can take away someones free will at a glance and uses that to his full advantage.

He's also very willing to give Val his lowest earners to shoot. Notice that he does so with no hesitance and no regret.

Also, (and most significantly) he's a huge, HUGE enabler. This guy has cameras EVERYWHERE, ESPECIALLY when Valentino is involved. He's got cameras in Val's room, Angels old room, at Vals corner of the club (which moves when Val does), there's NO WAY he DOESN'T know that Val is a r@pist.

And DESPITE that, he still sleeps with the man, is very likely in love with him, and oh yeah, FUNDS HIS WHOLE DEAL. The cameras Val uses are Voxtech cameras.

Val may be the one who does the dirty work but Vox willingly and knowingly makes a profit off of that. He doesn’t just know and do nothing, he actively HELPS Val out and obviously has no second thoughts nor regrets about it.

This is not a look of disgust or discontent, this is fondness. Genuine fondness. For Valentino. As a PERSON. Let that sink in.

There’s also the implications that Vox is jealous of the attention Angel gets from Val. Angel gets abused constantly by Val, Vox KNOWS, and still hates Angel because of the sheer fact that he takes up so much of Vals attention.

Not to mention the HEAVY implications that he gets off on watching people suffer.

“Well Vox can still do better than Val!!”

While I’m at it, I guess I should bring up the fact that BOTH Vox and Val are MASSIVE red flags.

With Val, aside from the obvious, he’s also a huge attention whore for Vox and isn’t afraid to break Vox’s property if Vox doesn’t pay attention to him. Yeah Vox gets frustrated with him, who wouldn’t be when their lover is throwing temper tantrums every other day?

With Vox, again, aside from the obvious, isn’t afraid to handle Val roughly when he’s mad, and literally screams about how watching his arch nemesis/obsession get the crap beat out of him is better than sex. Right in front of Val by the way. In regular circumstances, 9.98/10 that’s gonna get your ass dumped in a second.

Not to mention the mutual condescension ation towards each other.

And as much as fans (including myself admittedly) like to shit on Val for being a man child, Vox is literally no better.

Plus the explosive tempers.

Seriously. Vox LITERALLY cannot do better than Val. Vox is the only one who can put up with Vals BS and vice versa.

OH YEAH and lets not forget one last thing: VOX ALSO ABUSES HIS OWN EMPLOYEES.

This dude is scared of him, and it’s NOT because he’s worried about getting fired.

So yes. Vox is not nor HAS EVER been a good person.

And for me personally, I love that. I love that he’s entertaining yet awful. I love his dynamic with Alastor, and I love his relationship with Val even more.

If you’re wondering why I personally love Staticmoth, it’s because basic couple rules do not apply to them. They’re both toxic narcissistic red flags and therefore they can be as awful as they want to each other, and the other will simply shake it off. Yet there’s still heavy trust between the two (never being scared of each other) and they still have little moments together where they’re genuinely happy. It’s unique, and something I’ve never seen in media before.

Basically, if you liked Vox better when you thought he was a poor little baby being abused by Val, read a fan fiction. There’s a lot of them out there.

But people really just need to accept the fact that he’s an awful person. Always has been. He’s not better than Val by ANY means. He and Val are both evil pricks who deserve each other.

And guess what? LIKING AN EVIL CHARACTER DOES NOT MEAN YOU SUPPORT THEIR CHOICES. IT’S OKAY TO LIKE VOX EVEN IF HE IS EVIL.

But don’t go on saying that Vox was “ruined” as a character when all signs have always pointed to him being terrible.

[pubbamoon]

Venus in houses and how you might create your music

Hi again! Do you remember when I said that my previous post could be the last one? This was just a joke. Hahaha! Never mind, welcome to my second astrology observation about Venus! This time I'm going to write about how can you create your own music through Venus in houses from you natal charts. This observation might be great for someone who wants to be musician. This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I was working on something else and I was too tired later on. This observation can apply for both western and vedic astrology. Again, if you resonate with this observation, take it. If it doesn't, leave it, this might be for someone else then. But nonetheless, enjoy it!

Venus in the 1st house: I think that you guys with this placement can be inspired about your own life while creating music. Of course, it all depends on your Rising sign/Ascendant. The 1st house represents our personality, body, self and our life path, so you might make music that is related to your overall life or that is tied to your persona. You may create all of the music on your own, 'cause 1st house is associated with being independent too, but it doesn't have to be the case for all of you. It seems to me that you can basically live your music or you already live music in general. Your discography could be your autobiography, period.

Venus in the 2nd house: You may value music a lot and you may prefer to make music that is valuable, since the 2nd house does represent values. The 2nd house is also related to the business and money, so you might have this business mindset when it comes to creating music or you can make the type of music that gives you money. I think this is a great placement to monetize your artistic abilities in general. Since the 2nd house also represents the throat, which is related to singing voice, I feel that people with this placement prioritize their vocals over anything. It reminds me of singers who just come to the studio and record already made song/demo, written and produced by someone else and I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

Venus in the 3rd house: This house rules over the communication and self-expression, which means that you can express yourself through the music easily. Your mind is very creative with this placement. You may focus on writing skills while making your own music. Lyrics are first, and then there's ten blank spaces. You might write really beautiful songs about your life circumstances, but it depends in which sign your 3rd house is placed. The 3rd house is also associated with siblings and neighbors, which tells that you can create music with your brother or sister or just with people who are close to you. This placement can also indicate having multiple inspirations or ways to create music or write lyrics, because the 3rd house is being ruled by Gemini which is an air, mutable and dual sign like I just said in my previous post.

Venus in the 4th house: You can create music in your own house, since 4th house is related to home or a place which is familiar to us. When it comes to making you own music, you might work with your family member, especially with your mother who can help you and teach you how to make/write music. You may also have an innate talent from one of your parent or from both parents. Maybe you create music when you feel like it, because the 4th house represents emotions, so you don't force yourself doing anything related to music when you lack motivation or ideas. You may wait for idea to come to you first and then you start making stuff. This placement can indicate practicing traditional/old school ways of making music too.

Venus in the 5th house: My God, this is just a fun and creative placement! Seriously, you should practice any kind of art you want everyday if you have this placement in your natal chart. You might use music as a hobby or have a lot of ideas out of nowhere, because the 5th house is one of the most creative houses in astrology and is related to the entertainment. You can turn your hobbies into a career, especially if your Venus is your 10th house/MC ruler. But when it comes to creating your own music, your way of doing that could be a joyful experience and you can really have a lot of fun while making the music, 'cause you might see the music as a hobby. You can also make music with children, since the 5th house in associated with children if you like children as well.

Venus in the 6th house: This placement might not indicate a great talent of music or anything art related, 'cause the 6th house does represent our daily routines, 9-5 jobs and doing something that we don't like to do. But it doesn't mean there's no good side of this placement. You can be a type of musician who practice writing or production almost every day, which makes sense because this house basically represents something we do everyday. The good part is because you practice creating music/art everyday, you can become a better artist than someone who has a natural ability to create music. You may also make music about working class, 'cause that's what 6th house is all about. If you have this placement in your natal chart, I encourage you to do something creative everyday, 'cause there's a potential for you to become skilled in this field.

Venus in the 7th house: Venus is all about love, while the 7th house is about team work and partnerships, so they work well together. I feel that the best way to create you own music is working with others/collaborating and just being a team worker in general. I'm not saying that you can't do anything on your own, but if you struggle with making your music independently, then you should engage other people. Thank me later. You can make art with you partner or be inspired by your partners, because the 7th house represents our partners and how you interact with other people. It could also mean that your partner is artistic and pushes you to create music with him, her or them. Overall, I think working with others can fulfill you somehow.

Venus in the 8th house: You may create your music when you feel intense emotions, such as grieve, sorrow, sadness etc. The process of making music might be challenging for you and you'll likely have to deal with ups and downs while creating your music, because the 8th house is one of the hardest houses in astrology to deal with and is basically associated with challenges in our life. This placement can also tell me that you're someone who lock the room and make/record the music in silence or in places where there's no many people. The 8th house is a very mysterious house, so it makes sense.

Venus in the 9th house: This house is about religion, luck, happiness etc. You may be inspired by the experience with your religion or with your overall life. Making music could be an adventurous process where you can expand your horizons. The 9th house also represents foreign land and higher education, which may indicate you collaborating with people from abroad or being inspired by international music from foreign culture. It can indicate you studying some form of artistic major too and that's where the association of the 9th house with the higher education comes.

Venus in the 10th house: If you have this placement, I want to tell you that you may be blessed when it comes to your career path (it depends on your Venus sign and its aspects, of course). You can basically make the whole career based on music with this placement. Your co-workers might be artistic and they might push you to navigate your talents and gifts as much as they can. The creating process of yours could be very professional and you may take that seriously. I feel that you might make the certain type of music that the general public expects to hear, because the 10th house is associated with reputation and how people perceive you.

Venus in the 11th house: This is another placement that can indicate you making music with the bunch of other people, especially with your friends, 'cause this house is about friendships, connections and networking. If you want to be a musician while having this placement in your natal chart, please find someone who can work with and share your artistic vision, because I don't think you can do everything on your own. I'll also encourage you to post your songs on any internet platforms if you can, because the 11th house represents internet and social media too. It seems to me that you may follow the music trends or even start the new one while creating your music. The 11th house is also associated with your finances and how can you make money, so you can make money with you music as well. Lucky you!

Venus in the 12th house: You're likely someone who is naturally talented in music or in any kind of art, but you mostly hide this side of you or you just make music in private and do everything by yourself. It's so sad if you hide your talents and gifts from anyone else, because I feel that you're so creative musically and you could make a good piece of art if you acknowledged your talents. I can also sense that you might create your music when you're emotionally in tune with yourself or when you have an adequate vision about how should the particular song sound. Hope that makes sense, lol.

Well, that's it! I really hope that you all can resonate with this observation. This is basically the second part of my astrology observation about Venus and to be honest, I got a little bit tired of Venus planet. So, if this astrology observation flop, I will not be surprised, haha lol. Overall, I hope you enjoyed it.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[schattenhonig]

The A in LGBTQIA+ doesn't stand for aspec because they're not repressed!

(please read the disclaimer at the end of this post)

Ummm, excuse me? Would you mind telling me what your definition of repression is, then?

Because I feel repressed when a doctor asks me about my sex life, and if I say I have none, it gets marked down as a symptom without being asked if I suffer from it.

I feel repressed when my gyn tells me I can't get a hysterectomy yet despite losing so much blood on every period that I need to take iron supplements all the time, because I could change my mind about not wanting children (which is a whole other post, I know, but it's most likely linked to sex).

I feel repressed if I can't use dating apps or platforms because my sexuality doesn't even exist there, and the one time I tried, I got called names because I didn't want to meet for because it was clear where this date would go, despite my explicit "what I'm looking for".

I feel repressed when I think about how recently a paragraph was finally abolished in my country that considered sex a vital part of a marriage, basically entitling the spouses to having sex with their partner (both gender neutral, because entitling people to having sex with somebody else by law is wrong. It's basically a rape permission).

I feel repressed when I can't watch any film or show without it being about love and/or sex, no matter if it fits the narrative and furthers the plot.

I feel repressed when I plot my own stories and automatically put a romantic couple in there as main characters, even though I have no idea why this would be important for the plot. Not even my own stories, my own thoughts are mine.

I felt repressed when I was asked accusingly in a relationship if I wasn't missing something before I even knew asexuality as a spectrum was a thing, and having to lie about this being a side effect of my medication instead of genuinely not feeling attracted to someone in this way.

I feel repressed when I can't tell people I'm not sexually attracted to them because they will take this personally no matter how well I explain myself.

I feel repressed when everywhere I look there's advertising relying on naked skin, suggestive posing and objectification. Why are expensive cars still presented by women considered beautiful and tempting? It's not like that's necessary to convince people of spending so much money on a thing that gets you from A to B. Couches with women in smart dresses and high heels. That's not what a normal person looks like on a couch. But the worst is a truck in the town where I live: it's from a small fruit and vegetable stand, so whenever I see it, it comes from the warehouse, delivering groceries. On it is a woman clad in very little, presenting fruit. I'm sorry, but why? Does a misogynistic picture convince you of the necessity to avoid scurvy?

I feel repressed when I tell people and get the answer "you just haven't found the right person yet", because there are two possible assumptions from that point: I'm either not trying hard enough (so it's basically my own fault) or something about me is not right, appalling even (which circles back to I'm not trying hard enough or frames me as a victim of my genetics, upbringing or circumstances to be pitied).

Do not tell me how I feel. Do not try to tell me everything is fine and I shouldn't complain or ask for acknowledgement if everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how odd, how weird and how not normal I am. How much it inconveniences you to even acknowledge my existence, let alone respect any of my traits, views and choices.

And while I can only write from my own asexual point of view, I wrote this with all kinds of flavours of aspec in mind, so I'm explicitly including aromantics, aroace people and every shade of the spectrum in this. Not all my examples may apply to you, but I hope you can find something to relate to.

ETA: please feel free to add your own experiences of repression!

[kay-jaye]

bit on the side?

bit on the side?

crowley doesn’t know what the fuck that even means. ok, yes, he’s familiar with the deluge of terms humans have concocted to define the complexity of their relations to each other.

side piece. sneaky link. friends with benefits. fuck buddies. situationship.

crowley knows what it means. he does. but when nina speaks the phrase to him, crowley can’t seem to recognize a single language, alive or otherwise dead, in which the words she says make sense. he briefly wonders if this is his version of aziraphale’s french.

because she’s talking about aziraphale.

aziraphale, the angel. the angel who likes his tea without sugar, but his wine with company. the angel who claims to have a distaste for “bebop,” yet crowley has caught him mouthing the words to queen’s “good old-fashioned lover boy” more than once in the bentley. the angel (bastard) who enjoys subjecting crowley to his magic act antics that under no circumstances would crowley ever admit to finding amusing or, satan forbid, endearing. the angel who popped into paris during the reign of terror because he got peckish for crepes, and even the threat of guillotine in that damp bastille cell could not deter him from baked goods in the end. the angel who still insists on dragging crowley to see productions of shakespeare, despite both being present for the original opening nights of almost every play the man wrote. the angel who is what heaven is supposed to be incarnate—pure and kind and too good for his own good, really.

and crowley is a demon.

he doesn’t think any of the typical labels apply. they’re not human, after all; it couldn’t be that simple. crowley can’t pinpoint exactly when it started or when it changed. 6,000 years is a long history to comb through. it was more than the acquiescence of two immortal beings to the familiarity of each other in a world full of temporary creations. it was more than a bloody arrangement at this point. crowley doesn’t know how it can be more than whatever it means to inhabit the other’s body and walk right into fatal danger, but they are. he’s inclined to cut his losses and say he knew—because deep down, he did know—he’s been fucked since eden and the damn wall and the damn rain he can’t help but associate with revelation.

other people’s love lives, nina had said. love lives. she’s projecting, crowley knows that. whatever’s going on with her and…lydia? linda? they say love makes you blind, but crowley would argue you see plenty of things. every passing glance between sips of champagne; every smile at the crisp sarcasm rolling off a forked tongue; every brush of fingers over the exchange of a briefcase full of books, the shaky grip on a tartan thermos, the drunken grab for another glass of wine across the table. silly things. things that aren’t there. for all the times aziraphale has implored him to read more, crowley swallows the urge to say he already reads into things more than he should.

he’s imagined it before; what it would be like to have more. a fair share of people have made assumptions about them in the past, though he’s not sure whether aziraphale has picked up on it, but that’s not why crowley suddenly feels as though armageddon is upon them once again. never has someone alluded to anything as…intimate as “hooking up.” crowley can brush away the implication that they’re together, but something screeches to a burning halt the moment nina insinuates what crowley’s only ever allowed himself to think about when he’s laudanum-level drunk and lonely because he has a greater chance of not remembering in the morning.

he remembers though. that’s usually when the guilt kicks in, when he’s hungover because he forgot to miracle the alcohol out of his system before passing out, and the headache pulses with the constant reminder that aziraphale is pure, pure, PURE. nothing he imagines on those nights is pure.

what gave him away? and if nina can see it, can aziraphale?