#does that make the previous point any less true? also no

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[shawolsos]

Things could have been so different if James and Petunia had just bonded over their mutual disdain for Snape

[54625]

What I want out of a QSMP season two.

(Some of these points may be a little divisive - it's just my personal opinion. Content creators will be referred to as players for conciseness. QSMP as it has been for the past year, for the sake of this post, will be referred to as "season 1".)

1. TAKE A FUCKING BREAK.

I do not want to see the QSMP coming back in less than two months at the very, very least. Five or six months to a year is ideal, in my opinion.

This is for a few reasons. Firstly, the obvious; I want Quackity Studios to take the necessary time to make 100% sure that everyone who has worked, does work, or will work for them is compensated. Not just this, but I want the communication among the studio to become streamlined and consistent, for the purpose of maintaining the quality of the SMP, the quality of life of the employees, and entirely avoiding a repeat of the previous situation. Any less will be unacceptable, and prove that all people in charge, including and especially Quackity himself, have not learned their lesson.

Secondly, I am very sure that a lot of players will lack or have completely lost their motivation for the QSMP, due to the nature of the last few months of season 1. I am sure that those who had a lot of lore written up and had to scrap it or cut it short are probably still quite sore about it, and may not have the energy to pick the QSMP story back up. This is especially true if they had already given their characters a canon ending and don't want to overshadow it. When creating a new SMP, or a new season of an SMP, you first and foremost need player motivation to be high. Waiting several months would ensure that the wound of player lore being ruined would have mostly healed over by the start of season 2.

Thirdly, viewer engagement will always be an important thing to take into consideration when creating an SMP that will be televised. The large majority of QSMP fans are completely burned out from watching. Leaving a large gap between seasons 1 and 2 would let fans, who have had an exhausting last few months, recover and reset. It will also allow hype and anticipation to build up when things eventually start being teased and announced again. Fans have a lot of disdain for this project at the present moment, and waiting for a while between seasons will not only let fans know that serious action is being taken behind the scenes, but also will let the sour attitude a lot of fans have right now wear off over time.

2. RESET. FOR REAL THIS TIME.

Probably my most controversial take on this topic will be; I fully believe that if a QSMP season 2 is to occur, it should be a completely new server. By completely new I naturally mean a new map, but also ZERO LORE CONTINUATION. I know this is a hot take, but I personally believe QSMP season 2 is a perfect chance for a completely fresh start, and a fresh start cannot happen if it still takes place in the same universe.

We all know that season 1's lore was overwhelming, slightly confusing, and at the end of the day, completely disjointed. We all fell in love with the terrifying Federation and Codes, yes, we all loved the basis of the story; a group of people from different countries get stranded on a "perfect" paradise island controlled by a governmental body that won't let them leave, and have to work together; but at the end of the day, the lore of season 1 became messy. Very messy. Instead of trying again and again to salvage it, the best option is probably to just start again.

Put the same players in a different map, give them a completely different premise, and let the lore unfold anew. Which leads into my next point.

3. PLAYER DRIVEN LORE.

Let the players develop the story. If a player has an overarching storyline they are unfolding themselves, prioritise letting them do so. All of the best lore in season 1 was player created, and player enacted; Cellbit's regret arc, the happy pills, Cellbit's murdering Fed workers arc, literally everything Fit ever did, Roier's lore, ect ect ect. Server admins should only intervene in player's lore when directly asked, and big changes to the server's status quo should only occur when there is no active lore to be interrupted, everyone agrees it should happen, and it would actively drive engagement up, rather than down.

The best case scenario for a QSMP season 2, in my opinion, is for the server admins and Quackity to come up with an exciting and engaging premise for a brand new universe with brand new characters, to place the players in an interesting themed map, and just let them loose. Let the lore build naturally, and see what comes of it.

IN CONCLUSION.

I vehemently disagree with people who believe the QSMP should not have a season 2. The QSMP is a brilliant idea, and its noble goals shine through all of the incredible friendships and memories it, and only it, made. There is no other server like QSMP.

The act of uniting people from all over the world has been proven to be an extremely important and worthwhile goal. I, genuinely, admire Quackity for his passion in this, and for understanding that this thing should not be easily given up on or let go. Drastic changes need to occur, but the QSMP is bigger than just a Minecraft server; it represents so much unity, community, and love.

It is worth saving.

I hope, desperately and for the sake of everyone involved, past future and present, that the QSMP can come back better and stronger than ever, continuing to further its goals; to tell amazing stories, to forge impossible friendships, to spark joy and laughter, and to bring people together no matter the barriers keeping them apart.

Thank you for reading.

[fairuzfan]

I’m a genocide historian and I do think comparisons between the Holocaust and the genocide in Palestine are unproductive because A) the Holocaust is pretty distinct from Palestinian genocide not in its exceptionalism but in its method - the “shipping” of victims from 20+ countries by international rail to a handful of centralized killing sites; 15000 people being gassed in Auschwitz daily (a single gas chamber had standing capacity for 2,000 people) and their stolen hair sold in bales for use as maritime rope and cushion stuffing - and forcing Holocaust parallels obfuscates the terrible and very unique methods of genocide being used by Israel against Palestinians. B) People often invoke the Holocaust as an emotional appeal regarding the moral culpability of all Jews (“how could you do what was done to your ancestors!”) when the same responsibility to end the genocide in Palestine exists regardless of one’s background or religion.

What Israel is doing in Palestine is 100% a genocide. Whether or not it is similar to the Holocaust (or any previous atrocity) does not make this any more or less true.

The thing that doesn't make sense to me with this point is that no one is saying that the Holocaust and Palestinian genocide are a 1:1 comparison. Like most people acknowledge the terrible genocide that occurred in the Holocaust against all its victims. But when they're talking about comparing genocides, there are tell tale signs that repeat throughout history that are precursers to larger events. Like when people compare the Warsaw ghetto to Gaza. I'd say those are quite similar in practice and intention. When we "compare" genocides (not a 1:1 but more of a drawing parellels by disecting the inteion and reasoning behind certain events that werent necessarily actively violent but passively violent) its to show "hey this is going to get really bad really soon because something like this happened before." Masha Gessen has an article about this that I reblogged.

People should care about fighting injustice everywhere I agree. But that doesn't change the fact that parallel drawing is an act separate from emotional invocation. When genocide scholars and survivors talk about "Hey this was like xyz that happened to me/in history" it's to show that there is precedent for this thinking and a terrible methodology happening when genocides occur. They dont just get really bad out of nowhere, you need to examine the precursors to prevent the large event from happening. How that large event happens differs from place to place, I agree. But to say that because things happen differently against different people means you can't examine the underlying reasons behind those actions is kind of reductive. By this definition you can never compare any genocide ever and all the terrible things that happen just happen naturally without any political or social influence.

Arnesa talks about how the Bosnian genocide precursors mirror the Palestinian genocide. She also talks about how Lula specifically should have mentioned other genocides (like Rwanda, Bosnia, etc) in his statement because there are parallels there too. I'd argue that's the real intention behind genocide studies, in that you notice trends and patterns to analyze how certain events might turn out.

I do want to mention because this is where im coming from a little bit, it is a pretty big zionist talking point (by especially American dems) saying you can't compare the holocaust to what's happening to Palestinians because it's antisemitic, which is not a real talking point and actually kind of rude in that it assumes that Palestinians can't call out parallels between their treatment and the treatment of those in the Holocaust because they're fundamentally doing it from a point of antisemitism and not a plea for recognition that the events are mirroring each other.

[innuendostudios]

New video essay! On the Reverse Gish Gallop - how conservatives can ignore 90% of your argument and still appear to be winning.

If you would like more of this, subscribe to Nebula and/or back me on Patreon!

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’re watching a political debate on TV. The conservative candidate has used their opening arguments to dump a truckload of dubious claims on their opponent. You recognize this maneuver: that’s the Gish Gallop! The debater makes point after dubious point, and, if the other debater doesn’t rebut every single one, they will appear to have lost the argument. These points don’t have to be good or hard to disprove, there just has to be a lot of them.

Oh, but what’s this? The liberal candidate seems to have come prepared! That’s new! They succinctly and efficiently dismantle each of their opponent’s arguments, offering a clear rebuttal to every single one. It’s obviously not the first time they’ve heard this particular gallop. So, the conservative’s petard has just fully hoisted them. [“What a hoisting!”] They’ve just lost their own game and have to go on the defensive… right?

Turns out, no! The conservative points to a minor error - maybe the liberal said their program would cost $40 million but is actually estimated to cost 43 - and treats them as an ignorant sap who can’t even count correctly. That is now the subject, everything else has been forgotten, and the liberal is backpedaling.

Wait, you exclaim, how does that work?! The liberal has to rebut each and every point but the conservative takes issue with one and stays in the driver’s seat? Are audiences fooled by this? Are liberals that easily snookered? The answer may shock you!

You’ve just borne witness to The Reverse Gish Gallop, where an entire argument falls apart if any of it can be disputed. These disputes, again, don’t have to be good, they just have to call the airtightness of the argument into question.

A good example is how conservatives obsess over gaffes. (Which, fuckin’... really guys?? [W, Trump]) Some Democrat will be all “conservatives want to shut down post offices as a form of vote suppression; they’re pushing voter ID laws and the post office is where many people get IDs; also we are relying more and more heavily on mail-in voting; they overwhelmingly try to shut down offices in Black and Latine neighborhoods; a lot of services like healthcare and courts still use physical mail by default and there can be serious consequences to getting it late; many elderly people still don’t use email, and, hey, maybe some of them like getting junk mail” “AH BA BA BA THAT’S IT THAT’S YOUR WHOLE LIFE NOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR CAREER YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE WHO SAID OLD PEOPLE LIKE JUNK MAIL.”

Your mistake was assuming that dishonest people abide by the same rules they impose on everyone else. When I was a teenager, some friends of the family would invite me along when they asked my parents to dinner, because I would play with their five-year-old and let the grown-ups chat in peace. And he’d make up games where we’d bat a balloon back and forth or whatever, and change the rules on the fly when it suited him. Because the rule wasn’t actually “you can only touch the balloon once per turn;” the rule was “Andrew wins.”

The purpose of a Gish Gallop is to establish a narrative not through argument or logic but force and volume. Once established, it takes a lot less effort for them to maintain than for you to establish a new one. If they shake confidence in your argument, the audience will often revert to the previous argument, whether or not that one was ever proven. It’s a not about which story is true, it’s about who sets the parameters for all stories going forward; who got there first. This is not a debate; this is a Zerg Rush. Understand: a dishonest argument is Lego - you haven’t dismantled it until every brick is separated. But an honest rebuttal? An honest rebuttal is Jenga.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ok so we get this

and this

And I proceed to spiral about colour theory and costume theory and end up writing and expansion to this post I made about Buck in yellow ochre!!! Sorry y'all, you know what that means - my unhinged colour theory and costume meta's are Back!!!

Lets start by revisiting all of Bucks previous yellow ochre wearing shenanigans!

3x06 the yellow ochre sweater he wears when he gets sent home by Bobby - this does after we see Buck and Eddie making up with each other - a moment when we see Buck learning more about himself and growing (read becoming less self-centred and understanding the concept of being part of a team and recognising that he needs to be better about stepping in with Eddie!)

4x02 - Yellow ochre jumper - first in a video chat with Maddie, Chim and Albert, but then more importantly, when he is in his therapy session with dr Copeland - the whole ‘I hide my true feelings from others’ moment - yet another moment of Buck recognising something about himself. I think this is the most key scene in Bucks yellow ochre wearing - more on that in a bit.

4x03 Bucks yellow ochre t-shirt - a t-shirt that matches the shade of the jumper from above, and a moment when Buck confesses to Maddie that he’s in therapy - about being sad and lonely and wanting to be ‘finer’ 

4x04 - the yellow knit sweater from 3x06 is back (yes it is the same sweater) and this is when Buck has his entire life upended and he finds out about Daniel (kicking us into Buck begins)

4x11 - Buck talks to Maddie and Josh about Sue’s hit and run, then talks to Taylor about Sue. This one is a much brighter yellow than the ochres we’ve seen up to now, but I’m including it because I think its relevant to Bucks arc here (also because it connects into the next time we see Buck wearing yellow - the will scene) the concept of being hit with information that leads to Bucks growth and the nature of most hit and runs not being solved, the perpetrator never being caught and therefore not getting closure on something (this is super relevant I promise!)

Then we have 4x14 and two yellow ochre tops - the first is the sweater, this one is trending more towards orange brown, but its still in the ochre wheelhouse! this oe is all about communication - mostly at Buck - Taylor telling him how stupid he was for climbing the crane, receiving a phonemail from Ana to tell him Eddie is awake, facilitating communication between Eddie and Chris and then Buck communication himself - thinking it would’ve been better if he had been shot. Directly communicating to the audience (as much as Eddie) the inner monologue of Bucks own opinion of the point of his existence.

Then we get the beloved will scene and Buck wearing a yellow ochre shirt, still lighter than the other yellow ochre we’d seen up to this point, with the exception of the previous one which is brighter still. again this is mostly about people communicating at Buck rather than him being the communicator - much like with the previous Jumper. It somewhat plays into the concept of Buck being a passive part of his life rather than actively living it - Kinda hard to explain at this point without the context of the costumes from s5&6. I also want to point out Taylor is in that dark green again here - in the scene when Buck opens the door to the Diaz house.

5x03 gives us Buck in that same shade of yellow ochre (bear in mind we haven’t seen him in any other colour between the will reveal and this scene (beyond uniform!) and here we have Buck pushing Eddie and communicating without actually giving much of himself away - yes he uses himself as an example, but he doesn’t actually open up about himself all that much (this is important - its not the time for that and it provides space for Buck to continue his internal monologue about his self worth) after this he goes home to his loft and we get him communication to a Taylor who isn’t actually present in the space - a symbolic scene that shows that he gets just as much from her absence as her presence (a play on the idea that Buck can communicate better with her when she isn’t actually present compared with when she is - its a juxtaposition of the scene from earlier when they were in bed together and she didn’t listen to anything he was saying, or his wants/needs)

5x04 a scene at the Buckley-Han apartment where Buck isn’t communicating with Chim - Chim is very much communication with Buck about his despair over Maddie leaving - Buck obviously knows where Maddie is at this point, but he diocesan’t take the opportunity to communicate effectively with Chim. so This is yet another example of Buck failing to communicate, while some one around him is clearly communicating and this scene has the addition of secrecy thrown into the mix.

Then we have 5x14 - this one is a bit less obvious - its the yellow ochre and black plaid jacket - its an outlier in that its not solid yellow ochre, but it is again a scene where we get communication - this time BUck is actually the one to do some communicating, but like pretty much always, we don’t get him pushing too much and we see him continuing to deflect from making things about himself - he’s desperate to talk about the shooting and its impact on him, but Eddie resists and Buck backs off. the check here is a nice addition because it shows the concept of cross purposes, but also there is less yellow than in other outfits - the black seems to be ‘devouring’ the yellow - almost like a play on the idea that this was Bucks one big chance to communicate, but he doesn’t take it.

That is the last time we see Buck wearing yellow ochre until the end of season 6 - 6x15 and his date with Natalia to be precise! we’re back to that same shade of yellow ochre and once again we have Buck communicating - but its very much playing into what Natalia what to hear. I don’t doubt that BUck wants to talk about his death and resurrection, but we don’t actually see the conversation beyond the superficial overtures Buck makes. This plays into the suggestion that its about him trying to impress Natalia rather than actually about what Buck needs or wants to say. Its once again Buck communicating without actually communicating. something Eddie picks up on in the later graveyard scene and tries to provide the space for him to open up - which Buck doesn’t take.

The theme continues with the the next Buck/Natalia date in 6x17 - yellow ochre once again, this time an open shirt - again its that same shade, and we see a continuation of the Buck communicate via deflection technique he employs - this scene, like his previous date with Natalia, is more about her and the writers showing us her hang ups/ insecurities than it is about Bucks - beyond showing us that they aren’t actually all that compatible - its kind of framed in the same way as his previous relationships (especially Taylor) - Buck playing into what he thinks someone wants him to be rather than being who he actually is. 

This concept is something we see in pretty much all of the previous scenes where Buck is wearing Yellow ochre, this desire to be what people need him to be rather than who he actually is. there are a couple of exceptions - the first time we see Buck in yellow ochre is probably the only instance where we see Buck being somewhat honest with himself - there is an element of him playing the role he needs to to win back Eddies friendship, but I think its coming from a genuine place and is born out of a real desire to be better - he really did learn his lesson. The fact that the next time we see the yellow ochre used is in his therapy session scene where he literally states that he hides his true feelings from others is a big giant yellow ochre flag waving around telling us that when we see Buck in yellow ochre he will be playing into that idea - and that’s then how it transpires in every subsequent scene where he is in yellow ochre.

Which brings me to this new still

no one can tell me there isn’t an air of conflict about that scene - the dark cool tone of the image suggests a coolness to the room - that idea of the cold shoulder or the temperature dropping when there is conflict between two people. their body language is also adding to that vibe - Chris turned in on himself, not sat with Buck, the space between them.

Whatever this scene transpires being about, based on what we've seen with Buck wearing yellow ochre, we can assume its going to continue to play into this idea of Buck not being fully truthful with people and fitting into the role he thinks people want him to pay rather than being true to himself.

I do want to add to this theory by looking at Christophers shirt as well. The grey/ yellow combination is a bit reminiscent of Breaking point (the episode that really is the gift that keeps on giving) becasue we get Chris in grey and Eddie in tan - that is yellowish toned whilst not actually being yellow

There isn't a good screenshot of them together, but the placing of Chris and Buck in the new one has echoes of Eddie and Chris in that scene (one that is interestingly enough playing into the idea of changing family dynamics, but also the moment before and the one that happens afterwards at Bucks loft, directly placing Buck into a parental role (as an aside the idea of Buck being a miracle worker plays into the theme of Eddie looking for magic, just saying!))

Anyone want to play a game of whose shirt does this look like??!!!

Oh you do! well what if I leave these two pictures just here...

yes, yes that is a Chris sized version of that shirt - you know the one Buck was wearing when he and Taylor talked about complicated family dynamics and about telling 'other peoples stories because I hate telling my own' you know that scene about playing a part and not being yourself around people you're supposedly close to! Yes That scene - or how about the scene which happens to be the last time we saw Buck in Chris's bedroom, where Buck talks to Eddie about complicated family dynamics, about needing to have the right outfit on for the occasion, the scene where they talk about retirement, oil and Buck is playing with a dinosaur! yeah see where I'm going with this! Chris wearing a grey shirt that similar to Bucks is Paralleling those scenes - so playing into the idea of history or of thing being outdated and needing to change, of dressing for the occasion (an allegory for playing a role - to fit in to whatever environment you're in rather than being your true self) and most importantly of complicated family dynamics - suggesting that there may have been some change in the dyamics - perhaps this will play into the will (also colour paralleling the will scene as Buck is in yellow ochre and the breaking point scene with Eddie in a yellowish colour and Chris in grey) and perhaps Chris discovering Buck would be his guardian in the event Eddie isn't around. I mean we'll have to wait and see for the actual context, but I will eat my hat if the season 7 scene isn't playing into Buckley-Diaz family dynamics in some way!

Back to this still

I keep flip flopping on if its Buck or Bobby, but right now the lack of grey hair is making me lean towards it being Buck.

This is a still of the back of Bucks head from his coma dream for comparison (blurry as hell as he's not in focus but it looks enought like the same shape of hairline and of Olivers ear for me to feel like its more Buck than Bobby!

I think the shirt is what is throwing me off though because its just so not a typical Buck shirt (excepting coma dream Bucks!).

I've gone back through my notes and I just can't find any examples of Buck wearing this kind of patterning or shirt before, the closest we get is that hideous shirt he is wearing at the hospital after Kameron has given birth

The only thing I can do is scream into the void about check theory because check does't bode well for people - they always end up in the middle of the drama (see my check theory posts linked on my pinned post for more) and while they come out the other side (99% of the time) Buck in check for that scene in 6x18 pretty much doomed his relationship with Natalia (its specific to her and not C&K's baby as Buck wasn't wearing it when he delivered it!) and as that shirt in the still is very un Buck like, has not only yellow ochre in it, but also its a white base (and we all know buck in white is a bad sign!!) and its check patterned - my theory is that this scene is connected to Natalia in some way - either Buck is not being true to him self in more than one way - that things are going to/have come to a head for their relationship (my kingdom for a reverse of Buck to Eddie about Ana in 5x03!!!) and lead to a pretty big change in some way (fingers crossed for Buck to end it and then finally break down and deal with his trauma!!!)

Some other things about that shirt - I've brightened it up in the picture below - the colour combination - the green blue and yellow ochre are giving me call backs to coma Buck (another reason I think it might be connected to Bucks unresolved trauma around his death and Eddies absense in his dream)

Then there is the burgundy stripe in combination with Eddies hand placement and the fact Eddie is wearing a denim shirt - its very Tsunami call back (even the white plays into this as well as Buck was in white when he saved Chris) -

I'm quite probably clowning hard at this point, but the fact we've got Eddie in denim again (not something he wears all that often) in a scene where he puts his hand on Bucks shoulder in that way and with his Christopher watch so very prominent - we'll I might be feeling a certain way about it.

It would make sense to play into that story arc - after all - the opening of season 7 is very much centred around a big water based disaster - its got to bring up a few things for the two of them. If it is related, Eddies Denim being darker at this point would be a nice play on things - the idea that there is more deepness - more depth to his relationship with Buck than there was in early season 3 (it even calls back to flash back Eddie in 3x16 - he is wearing dark denim when him and Shannon fight and Chris wakes up)

Ok thats enough rambling from me! Hopefully i have made a tiny bit of sense! of to go back to screaming in the void now!!

tagging a few people who might be interested! @extasiswings @copyninjabuckley @oneawkwardcookie @spotsandsocks @mandzuking17 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @theladyyavilee @mistmarauder

[merrybloomwrites]

I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 1)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: Y/N attends her first Harry Styles concert and catches the unwanted attention of a knothead alpha. Luckily Harry and his team are able get to you in time, leading to some confusing thoughts about the popstar.

Previous Chapters: Prologue

CW: Attempted assault (nothing too graphic but it is there)

Word Count: 4.7k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean you can’t go?” You ask incredulously. Going to the concert wasn’t even your idea. It was your friend Rachel’s and now she’s ditching you.

There’s a pause on the other end of the call before Rachel says, “It’s my dog. Well, my family dog that we’ve had since I was in middle school. She’s not doing well, and they think she only has a couple days left so now I have to drive back to Delaware to see her and say goodbye.”

“Oh my god, Rach, I’m so sorry!” And now you feel like a jerk for being mad at her canceling.

“Thanks. We knew it was coming but I hoped we had a few more weeks. Uhm, anyway, I need to finish packing and get on the road.”

“Of course, yea, safe trip home,” you quickly reply.

“You better take some videos of the concert and send them to me. Especially if he does something different for night one at MSG!”  

“Rachel, I’m not gonna have any idea if he’s doing stuff different from his last shows, as I have no idea what his shows are like. But I promise to send you a couple videos, okay?”

“Still can’t believe you haven’t watched any videos from tour. What rock do you live under again?” You laugh at her teasing, mostly cause it’s true. The fact that you’ve made it this far without knowing much about Harry Styles surprises even you. “Have fun for both of us tonight,” Rachel says.

“I will, give your dog a belly rub from me. Love you!”

“Love you too, bye!”

The call ends and you sit for a moment. You don’t really want to go to a concert alone, but that’s what your night now has in store. Rachel had tried calling some other people in your friend group, but they were all busy. You’d also texted your two best friends, Amelia and Violet, but it was too last minute for them to change plans and go with you.

So, alone it is.

You look at the outfit you had planned but decide against it. The leather pants and crop top ensemble isn’t exactly in your comfort zone, but Rachel chose it and wanted the two of you to match. Now that you’re on your own you switch to a pair of jean shorts with tights underneath and a flowy top, something you’re much more comfortable with. Harry’s music plays in the background while you get ready. You’d been studying the setlist to make sure you would know at least some of the songs he’ll perform. You’re happy when you find yourself singing along, showing that listening on repeat had worked.

After getting dressed you do your hair and makeup, then drive to your local train station. Living in north Jersey has its perks, and the quick train ride directly to Madison Square Garden might just be the biggest.

You get off the train and follow the trail of feathers from the boas which leads you directly to the venue. You show your ticket and are led to the entrance for the pit.

Being in the pit had also been Rachel’s idea. You’d never done that before, and you would have preferred somewhere with a seat, and honestly a better view from a higher vantage point. But you’d agreed to pit and in the weeks leading to the show you’d actually become excited to experience something new.

But now that you’re alone, you’re a bit overwhelmed. You’re one of the last people to arrive, since it’s only half an hour before the opener is set to start, so you end up hanging in the back. But even then, the large amount of people around you has you on edge.

Being a single female is hard. Guys are always hitting on women, feeling entitled to your company, not taking no for an answer. But being a single female omega is even harder. The way you see it betas have it easy, especially since they’re the majority. And alphas? Well, what do they have to worry about? They’re bigger, they’re stronger, they have their alpha voices that can command you and take away your free will if they want. Plus, they have an unmatched sense of superiority, thinking they’re so special just because of their secondary gender.

But you’re an omega. Often considered to be the weakest gender. Which is stupid. You’re the gender that gives birth, which takes way more strength than alphas could ever possess. And yet you’re still looked down upon by plenty of people in society.

So, you choose to hide your secondary gender. Only your family members plus Ameila and Violet know the truth. You don’t need anyone judging you based on one little trait.

Going out in public, especially at places as crowded as MSG always gives you anxiety. You never know if a knothead alpha is going to be there and literally sniff you out as an omega. But you trust your suppressants and soothers and, most importantly, your scent blockers, to do their jobs and hide your omega status from the strangers around you.

The pills have never failed in you in the eight years since you started taking them. You have no reason to doubt them now.

And yet, you can’t help but feel uneasy about the attention a certain man in the crowd is giving you. He is undoubtedly an alpha, one that for sure does not use scent blockers. In fact, you’re almost convinced he’s doing something to broadcast his scent, somehow make it even stronger. It’s an unpleasant odor, one that practically burns your nose, but you pretend you can’t smell it. Afterall, a beta wouldn’t be able to notice the scent.

But as much as you try to ignore the scent, going so far as to move to the entire other side of the pit, it still lingers. Because you are most definitely being followed. Seemingly casual glances at the crowd around you shows that the man has moved with you.

Going closer to the stage is the last thing you want to do, but getting deeper in the crowd might be what you need to shake off the man. The girls around you gladly welcome you and make space for you to join. A moment later the opening act starts to play, and you no longer smell the alpha. You’re relieved and get into the music for a few minutes.

Then the girls around you start to move, and you hear them say something about the bathroom. You decide to go with them since you could use a bathroom break and there will be safety in numbers. You keep your head down and casually follow, in hopes that the man won’t see you leaving the crowd.

Only once in the bathroom do you lift your head up. There’s a small line since most people are out listening to the first band. A moment later it’s your turn and you enter the stall. After using the restroom, you notice a large rip in your tights. You look at them, hoping they can be considered fashionably torn, but then you see another hole and decide to give up on them altogether.

It takes you a couple minutes to get rid of them, needing basically to fully undress from the waist down to get them off. Finally, you’re put together again, and you exit the stall, throw out the destroyed tights, and wash your hands. You notice that the group you came with is gone. In fact, the entire bathroom is now empty.

You sigh, disappointed that you’re on your own again, but you suck it up and start making your way back to the pit.

The second you walk out the bathroom door you smell it. Him. That acrid, somehow fishy, definitely revolting scent that alerts you that the alpha is nearby.

Before you even see him you hear him say, “Be quiet, and follow me.”

Shit. That’s an alpha command. You’re aware of that fact, but unable to fight it. You want to run, go back to the crowd, but you have no choice but to follow this man deeper into the back hallways. You want to scream, but every time you open your mouth, no sound comes out.

He leads you to a deserted corner, pushing you so your back is against a wall, and says, “Now stay quiet, and don’t move.”

Again, you do as he says, not only because of the command that you have to follow, but also due to the fear paralyzing you to the spot and rendering you silent.

“What a good little omega,” he says as he walks closer. He leans towards your neck, breath ghosting over your mating spot, and a loud whimper escapes you.

Realizing that you don’t need words to call for help, you begin to let out whines and whimpers as well as release distressed pheromones. Sure, you have scent blockers, but they’re not perfect and fear this strong will surely overpower them. You hope it’s enough to alert any other alphas nearby that there is an omega in danger.

You see the anger cross the man’s face, note the furious pheromones he’s releasing, but before he even reacts, your world goes dark.

***

Harry’s stylist is putting the finishing touches on his hair when there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Harry says.

The door opens and he sees his band standing just outside the room.

“Blood Orange is about to start,” his drummer, Sarah, says. “You coming to watch with us?”

“Yea, of course. I’ll join you in a minute.”

As soon as he’s left alone, Harry takes some calming breaths. Night one of fifteen consecutive sold out shows at Madison Square Garden. He can’t believe how far he’s come in his career. He takes another deep breath, reminding himself that he’s worked hard for this, that he’s completely ready.

After spraying one more dose of scent blockers, he walks out of his room and goes through the hallways to find his band. They’re at the end of one hall, standing at the opening they’ll use later to walk to the stage. Harry joins them, making sure they’re all back far enough that they are still hidden from the fans.

Harry mingles with his band while they wait for the opener to start their set. But after a minute, Harry starts to get an uneasy feeling. He himself isn’t nervous or scared, so he really doesn’t understand where this sudden anxiety is coming from.

Harry looks around and sees a worried look on Sarah’s face. Aside from Harry himself, Sarah is the only other Alpha in the band. So the fact that they both have a sudden bad feeling while the betas around them seem unbothered has Harry on edge.

He begins to look for any type of potential threat. Right away he notices that the two Alpha security guards are scanning the area as well, hinting that they’ve picked up on the same thing. One of them walks away to start looking for anything that could be going wrong.

Blood Orange takes the stage, and that anxious feeling seems to go away. Harry checks with Sarah and she’s feeling better too, so they assume whatever was wrong has been taken care of.

Everyone enjoys the first few songs, and suddenly, the feeling comes back, way stronger than before. Harry’s alpha is immediately alert. He starts moving before he even realizes what he’s doing. He hears footsteps and sees Sarah and a security guard following close behind.

None of them know exactly where the trouble is, they just follow their instincts through the backstage hallways. Suddenly, the feeling of overwhelming terror hits them, and they can faintly hear whimpers coming from a distressed omega.

They start to run in the direction the sounds are coming from. Rounding a corner, they come across a scene that has their blood boiling.

There’s a female omega, seemingly unconscious, being physically held up against a wall by a male alpha.

“Let her go,” Harry growls out using his alpha voice. It’s less effective on the man than it would be on an omega, but his grip on the girl involuntarily loosens. Harry and the security guard move in to pull the alpha off, and Sarah runs forward to catch the girl.

More security guards move in and drag the alpha away to be questioned.

Harry’s focus shifts to the omega now being held in Sarah’s lap on the floor. Adrenaline is still coursing through Harry’s body, but he feels himself relaxing faster than he thought possible. That’s when he realizes Sarah is releasing calming pheromones. He immediately works to do the same, rather than continue to broadcast the anger he’s feeling.

He knows his emotions can affect the vulnerable omega, and the last thing he wants to do is cause her most stress.

His most pressing worry is that she’s dropped. It wouldn’t be all that surprising. Omegas tend to drop during stressful situations. This can be dangerous for a number of reasons, especially if they don’t have a trusted alpha to keep them safe while they’re under.

Not only can they not protect their bodies, but a drop can also be a scary experience mentally. Omegas have described it as feeling untethered, like they’re stuck in darkness, unable to find a way out. There are good drops as well, ones you go into on purpose to give your mind rest. This is always done when there is an alpha there to hold and scent them and keep them safe and grounded throughout.

But if this is a drop, Harry knows it would be a bad one, and they’d need to gently bring her up immediately.

“Sarah?” Harry says to get the other alpha’s attention.

“Yes?” she replies, not taking her eyes off the girl.

“Do you think she’s dropped?”

“No. At least not fully. I can still catch a bit of her scent. If she went fully under it would have disappeared completely.”

There’s movement all around them, members of venue security and Harry’s team all coming and going to ensure everyone is safe. Music and loud cheers can be heard, meaning the opening act if still playing, that the show was not interrupted by what happened backstage.

Harry and Sarah are focused solely on the omega, until they hear a familiar male voice say, “There you guys are. Sarah, you scared the shit out of me running off like that.”

She looks up at her husband, Mitch, and smiles sheepishly before saying, “Sorry, I really didn’t think. We heard her distressed whines and just reacted.”

“Is she okay?” Mitch asks, crouching down to be level with the group on the floor.

“We think so,” Harry answers. “There was an alpha who had her cornered. Not sure what exactly he was planning but it was obviously nothing good. She was unconscious when we got to her. Just wish she’d wake up so we can check that she’s really unharmed.”

“Is she in a drop?” Mitch asks. Being a beta he’s not as knowledgeable about these things but he knows enough to be concerned about the girl.

“No, definitely not a full drop. But I’ve been flooding the area with calming pheromones and she’s still not waking up,” Sarah says worriedly.

“Maybe she just senses unknown alphas around her. Why don’t I try holding her and you guys move away a bit?” He senses how reluctant they are to move away from the omega, but eventually they listen to Mitch.

He settles on the ground and Sarah passes the omega to him before moving to give them space. After another minute the girl begins to stir, groggily at first before her eyes shoot open and she jumps up to move away from all the people around her. They watch cautiously, unsure what to do with the sudden change in the situation.

***

For awhile you’re stuck in the dark. This isn’t a drop, not really. You’ve only ever dropped twice but you can tell there’s a difference this time. You’re still aware of what’s going on around you, even if the details are fuzzy.

The alpha is gone. That you know for sure. The awful smell is gone, replaced by a much more pleasant one. It’s a mix of black tea and maybe the ocean? Whatever it is reminds you of early morning walks on the beach during family vacations. You relax more into this scent, and then notice that fresh laundry smell which always means someone is releasing calming pheromones.

You start to relax, the adrenaline slowly leaving your body. You can still sense multiple alphas, which keeps you a bit on edge. You try to open your eyes, but you’re still in a deep fog, probably due to the mix of intense emotions and the multiple alpha commands you’d been subjected to.

You don’t realize that someone is holding you until they shift and place you in another person’s arms. The alpha scent fades and you know the person now holding you is for sure a beta.

Finally, you manage to open your eyes. It takes a moment for you to get your bearings, but when you do, you’re overwhelmed, and honestly a bit embarrassed. Harry Styles, the Harry Styles, the world-famous popstar you’re here to see, is sitting across the hall from you, studying you closely. Next to him is a woman you recognize as his drummer.

After these discoveries, you fully realize your current position; that you’re being held in someone’s lap. One glance at the man shows it’s Harry’s guitarist. You’re no longer embarrassed. No, now you’re completely mortified. You quickly extract yourself from his hold and stand up, looking at the group, totally speechless.

They slowly stand as well, all looking at you. And not just them, but the other dozen or so people that are still in the hallway. There are so many eyes on you, watching you, and you just want to disappear.

Picking up on your unease, Harry says, “Why don’t we go somewhere less exposed, hm? You can hang in my dressing room and maybe have a medic look you over if that’s alright?”

Without thinking you begin to nod your head, just wanting to get somewhere quiet with less people. He reaches out as though to place his hand on your back and lead you but seems to think again and pulls his arm back. Instead, he walks ahead, and you follow, Mitch and Sarah coming as well.

You arrive at the room, groaning when you see more people waiting there. One’s the medic Harry mentioned, another is obviously a police officer, and the third is a man you don’t recognize.

“Harry, need to you choose your outfit and get dressed. We’ll take care of, uhm, sorry I didn’t catch your name,” says the man.

“Oh, I’m Y/N,” you say immediately, surprised at just how scratchy your voice comes out.

Sarah must pick up on it because she asks you, “Would you like a cup of tea love?”

You can’t help but smile and let out a laugh at that.

“What’s go funny?” she asks, smiling as well.

“It’s just, your scent, it definitely smells like tea. And the first thing you say to me is about tea. Sorry, I know it’s not polite to comment on someone else’s smell,” you finish, head lowering in a new wave of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m not offended,”

“Plus, you’re right,” Harry adds. “Swear I can’t make a cup of tea without thinking of her.”

“Aw, H, you think of me? How sweet,” she says with a joking tone.

“Real sweet,” Mitch says, then adds, “But stay away from my girl.”

You smile watching the easy interaction, happy to be distracted by their banter, sipping on the tea Sarah brings you.

That is until the man, whom you’ve learned is Harry’s manager, Jeff, reminds Harry that he’s supposed to be getting dressed, and the cop and medic walk over to you. There’s a table in one corner of the room and they lead you to it.

“Y/N, I’m Kate, I’m just going to get your vitals and check you over to make sure you’re okay, is that alright with you?”

“Yes, that’s fine,” you reply.

“And I’m Officer Michaels, is it okay if I ask you some questions about the incident tonight?"

“Of course.”

And so, as Kate does a quick exam you tell the whole story to the officer, starting with the uneasy feeling when you first noticed the man, all the way to him using his alpha voice to corner you in a back hallway.

Harry had reentered the room by this point, dressed in his show outfit and looking completely ready to get on stage. But he’s making no moves to leave the room, even though Jeff is reminding him the show is supposed to start in five minutes. Mitch and Sarah leave to finish getting ready themselves.

“Are we all set here?” You ask Kate and Officer Michaels.

“I have everything I need,” he replies. Kate adds, “Everything checks out just fine,” and they both exit the room as well.

This leaves you with just Harry and Jeff.

“Great, so I guess I should go back to the pit then?” You knew you were holding everything up and didn’t want to be more in the way than you already have been.

“Actually, Y/N, it would probably be best if you stay here for the show. Jeff, can you go grab Jada for me?”

The man nods, leaving you alone in the room with Harry. He motions to the couch, inviting you to sit and you do so. He sits on the coffee table facing you.

“I know you want to see the concert, and I know the man is gone, but I have to admit, my alpha is a bit on edge right now. To be completely honest, I don’t know if I could go out there and perform if you’re not completely safe. I would really like it if you stayed in this room and watched the concert on the TV over there. I promise to get you and your friends tickets to another show, alright?”

You’re taken aback by this, surprised by how much he seems to care about you, a random fan he’s never met before. And knowing that his alpha was triggered by what happened to the point where it’s still uneasy is a pretty big deal. That normally doesn’t happen with strangers. Sarah was no longer worried, and the alpha security guards were completely fine the second they caught the man.

So why was Harry’s alpha still calling the shots? It would make sense if you were partners, or at the very least, friends. Maybe Harry does truly care that deeply about all of his fans. That must be it. Because it certainly can’t be you in particular. There’s nothing special about you, other than being a damsel in distress and nearly derailing his show.

He must see the confusion on your face and continues, “Jada will be here in a moment, and she’ll hang out with you. Anything you need, just ask her. I won’t see you after the show, I leave right from the stage, but talk to Jada and Jeff and they’ll make sure you get home safely.”

“Okay, thank you so much for everything,” you reply.

“Of course. It’s the least I can do. Y/N, I am so very sorry something like this happened to you here. I always want this to be a fun, safe place for everyone.”

“It’s not your fault. Please, don’t feel bad. It is completely that knothead’s fault. You guys are the ones that saved me.”

He reaches forward and places his hand on top of yours, just for a second. Your hand tingles as he pulls away, like a bolt of electricity had just gone through it. You meet his eyes, and see he felt it too. You stare at each other, frozen for a moment, until there’s another knock at the door.

Harry stands quickly and introduces you to Jada as she joins you on the couch.

“Okay, I have to go before Jeff kills me. Y/N please give Jada your contact info so we can get those new tickets to you. Get some safe,” he says.

“Thank you, break a leg,” you reply and a second later he’s gone.

You talk to Jada throughout the start of the show, smiling as she lets you in on some behind the scenes info about the tour. After a few songs she asks if there’s anything she can get you.

“I actually have kind of a weird favor. I was supposed to come with a friend, but she couldn’t come at the last minute. I promised to send her videos and she’s going to be suspicious if I don’t have any. Would you be able to take a couple videos from the pit? I just don’t want to have to explain what happened. At least, not yet.”

“Of course, girl, I’ve got you. I’ll go get a couple of the next songs. Are you okay in here? There’s security outside the door so no one will be able to get in.”

“Yea, I’ll be fine,” you reply with a smile.

She walks out and you sink into the couch, grateful for a few minutes alone. Everyone has been so lovely, but it’s been a lot, and you need a minute just to breathe. You close your eyes, relaxing your body, and when you’re fully calm, you smell it.

There’s another alpha scent, but not one of a person nearby. No, it’s in the fabric of the couch. And the blanket next to you. And the shirt draped over the back of the couch.

It’s Harry’s scent. And it’s amazing. So clean, and fresh, with hints of chocolate, and the forest, and something sweet. Maybe roses, you think. Definitely a hint of floral. And once you catch the scent, it’s all you can think about, like it’s wrapped you in a warm hug. You feel better than you have in hours, the stress of the day fully washing away.

Even when Jada comes back, Harry’s smell is what you focus on the most. She notices you’re quieter than before and must assume you’re just tired from everything that has happened. She goes back out towards the end of the show to grab another video and you can’t help yourself. You turn to the side, right where the shirt is, and purposely take a deep breath. It’s almost overwhelming, your omega telling you to steal the shirt so you’ll always have the delicious scent with you.

That snaps you back to reality. You need to get your omega under control. You’re just like every other fan, thirsting for the amazing Harry Styles. Get a grip, you tell your omega. He’ll never be ours, don’t get attached.

Jada comes back, the show ends, and she leads you to a car that will bring you home. She asks for your car keys and ensures someone else will grab it from the station and drop it off at your place. She rides with you back to your home, along with a security guard.

You exchange numbers during the drive and breathe a sigh of relief when your apartment building comes into view. It’s been an exhausting day, and you can’t wait for a hot shower and your comfy bed.

You thank Jada for everything and notice them waiting for you to get safely inside before driving away.

You scorch your skin in the shower, put on your comfiest pajamas, and burrow under your covers.

You fall asleep that night not thinking of the horrible alpha, and the horrors of the day, but rather of green eyes, soft hands on yours, and the delicious scent that can only belong to Harry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! If you have any questions, comments, concerns, (requests), please let me know!

I hope I got everyone who asked to be added to the taglist. If I didn't get you or you want to me added just leave a comment or a message!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@theekyliepage@numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry@ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess@houseofdilfs@shaquille-0atmeal-1@kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye@n0vaj3an@snwells@drunk-teens-doing-drugs ; @fdl305 @creativelyeva @daphnesutton @selluequestrian @lovingfurypanda @stardream14 @tbsloneely @eversincehs1

[the-s1lly-corner]

Thank you sm 😭 you actually did so good! It felt so nice to see my favorite creepy boy with those head canons 🥹🥹 but yes your writing is absolutely amazing!! I can’t wait to keep seeing everything you write!! And I apologize in advance if I ever get too excited and request too much 🥹

Perhaps creepy boy relationship head canons with a fem!reader who attempts to steal their clothes because they miss them?

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack, and Hoodie x fem!reader who steals their clothes because she misses them!

went ahead and threw in some other characters that i think would be silly with this request since you didnt specify :3! was gonna add slenderman but im on the fence about whether or not his clothes are a part of his body.. shrugs!! feels weird not doing masky since im doing hoodie too but shrugs again laughing jack included as you state hes your favorite :3 and WAAAAH im glad you enjoyed the previous request!! and no need to apologize; i get it !! sometimes i get excited too with requesting stuff !! ill let you know if youre being too intense (though i gotta admit i love writing creepypasta stuff, had a longish break between august and now where i hardly wrote for it and i missed writing for the fandom loads TToTT)

EYELESS JACK:

honestly for a moment i was going to say his mask but i genuinely think that would be a deal breaker for him since it kind of acts as a comfort and security thing for him. even if hes not wearing the mask around you, dont take it. now his hoodie or one of his shirts... thats a different story.. would rather you ask him, though, but he does find it a little sweet that its because you missed him.. mind you he thinks so lowly of himself that he might even be a little shocked that you *miss him.. might let you keep on his shirts! might have to wash it though and patch up a hole or two but its nothing major.. though i dont think he would let you keep one of his hoodies, he has way less of those than he does shirts and he kind of needs them to keep warm.. also the hood comes in handy.. for things.. will expect you to return his belongings when asked, will not take any excuses since they are his belongings and he cant really waltz into a store and go shopping

LAUGHING JACK:

okay so this one is a little funny since i do personally hc that his clothes are just a part of his body for the sake of the post lets turn a blind eye.. theres so many options for you.. his shirt (sleeves! long and floppy!) or a spare sweater than hes claimed... hmm.. i think regardless of what piece of clothing you've taken from him he would be thrilled that you miss him THAT much! he rarely goes out, in fact i dont think its often that he goes far from where his music box is.. gotta stay in decent range, you know? but the point still stands... you miss him? i think that actually does wonders for his abandonment issues, since it reassures him that you care about him and think of him when hes away. probably scoops you up in his arms and hugs you, likely wrapping his arms around you like a snake. offers to never let you go, and kind of sticks true to that until you need to tend to your bodily needs

HOODIE:

another victim of jacket thief... a moment of silence for this man losing the thing that literally sparked his name.. okay jokes aside i dont think he would care that much, hes probably hoarded other clothing while staying with you; from hoodies to sweaters. so hes not going to sweat it if you briefly snatch something from him so long as you eventually give it back.. might sign some teasing words at you for missing him, might also prompt a session of you two cuddling.. good luck getting up because hes probably not going to let go.. why would he, you missed him! also might make him try to spend more time with you since every now and then he does have decently long periods of just. being gone doing whatever it is that he does.. probably leaves you his main hoodie and wears a different one when he knows hes about to dip for a while..

[snapscube]

I think a lot of people read dereconstruct as a trans journey, but when you talk about it you seem to mention religion, is it a mix of both? or leaning more one way than the other?

i don't really like talking about, or having other people talk about, my gender identity or transition unless i have something novel to say about it and initiate the conversation myself. you will rarely hear me bring it up myself, and you will also see me shut it down sometimes. this has been a sticking point for a while and it's a very necessary bit of control i have to keep over my personal narrative wherever i can because as my audience has grown the more people project things onto me or tell my story in a way i don't actually resonate with. my journey was very public at the onset out of necessity but at the same time i find myself wishing less people would offer up info in my stead because oftentimes it genuinely affects people's ability to discuss me with any more nuance than that and i can always tell the difference between someone who views me as like a person and someone who's primary understanding of me is "trans content creator". however, all this being said, it has been true for a very long time that music is the medium in which i am most open about these things because it is the way i often find the most novel and most meaningful ways to talk about my experiences without beating a dead horse or inviting limitation to my persona. i'm not really good at being a role model in that sense, but i do think i am pretty good at being an artist or at least that's where i strive to make the most impact, and i just don't find this stuff as personally interesting to talk about any other way anymore, at least not with strangers.

so anyway, all this to say: DeReconstruct does feature a heavy emphasis on my identity and the ways in which i've come into my own in that sense because it was produced at a time where i had a lot of newfound independence and was able to make strides in my own personal development like i'd never done before, and transition was a big part of that. but it was not the only part of that by a long shot. obviously whatever the album means to you as an individual, i'd never want to take that away or say it's wrong! but personally when i think of DeReconstruct or really any of my music i don't think of them as "trans stories". religion was a HUGE aspect of why i decided to make the EP in the first place, which is why Hypothesis, a song primarily about religious deconstruction, was the climax of that album. similarly, though Electrolysis is, in the most literal sense, a song about electrolysis as a treatment, it means a lot more to me in 2023 as a story about perseverance through any number of pains.

TL;DR, it is both and also more. i am a person with multitudes and DeReconstruct is made up of multitudes as well. as is my previous work, and as will my work be in the future.

[inaconstantstateofchange]

I come to you on my hands and knees (relevant to the topic right lol) begging for any and all info on Bane, Banites and how it all ties in with Gortash. I love you in advance. <3

Bane and His Cult

Alright, so after twelve and a half hours of research I still don’t fully feel like I have enough, but at a certain point I just need to get this out there, and if there is anything you – or anyone else – would like to see explored in more detail, please feel free to ask! 

Note: I love getting asks like this! There is such a vast quantity of Realmslore that having some sort of specific focus for my deep-dives is a huge help, and knowing the topic is of interest to others is a huge motivator. I also greatly enjoy getting to put my training as a historian to work, as there is so much to interpret and archive alike. 

As ever, these writeups will align with current 5e lore, and draw from 3.5e for additional supporting information. On rarer occasions – and always noted – I will reference 1e and 2e, but with the caveats that there is much more in those editions that is tonally dissonant with the modern conception of the Forgotten Realms, and thus generally less applicable.

We’ll begin with one of the most recent conclusive descriptions of Bane, from the 5e Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide, an overview of the current world-state of, well, the Sword Coast: 

Bane has a simple ethos: the strong have not just the right but the duty to to rule over the weak. A tyrant who is able to seize power must do so, for not only does the tyrant benefit, but so do those under the tyrant’s rule. When a ruler succumbs to decadence, corruption, or decrepitude, a stronger and more suitable ruler will rise.  Bane is vilified in many legends. Throughout history, those who favor him have committed dark deeds in his name, but most people don’t worship Bane out of malice. Bane represents ambition and control, and those who have the former but lack the latter pray to him to give them strength. It is said that Bane favors those who exhibit drive and courage, and that he aids those who seek to become conquerors, carving kingdoms from the wilderness, and bringing order to the lawless.¹

This gives us the briefest summation of what draws people to the Cult of Bane: the desire for power and control, often deriving from a sense that they lack exactly those two things. Bane is the quintessential deity of lawful evil, which – if you’ve read any of my previous posts on the sociology of the Nine Hells – bears a striking similarity to Baator itself, the realm of lawful evil, and the place where Enver Gortash spent at least a portion of his formative years. 

The majority of the following excerpts derive from 3e, which went into far more detail on the specificities of the Faerûnian gods, including their dogmas, holy days, et cetera. One important point to note, however: any discussions of Bane’s scope of power are no longer accurate, as the time period in reference is about one hundred and twenty years before Baldur’s Gate 3 is set, at a time when Bane had just returned to life – and godhood – as nothing less than a greater god. By comparison, during Baldur’s Gate 3, he is a quasi-deity, having abandoned most of his previous godly power in exchange for the ability to directly meddle with Faerûn – forbidden to the gods by the overgod Ao – and gambling that he would be able to regain his lost power and prestige in so doing.²

The dogma of Bane – that is, the core tenets and philosophies that his followers seek to emulate – is as follows: 

Serve no one but Bane. Fear him always and make others fear him even more than you do. The Black Hand always strikes down those that stand against it in the end. Defy Bane and die — or in death find loyalty to him, for he shall compel it. Submit to the word of Bane as uttered by his ranking clergy, since true power can only be gained through service to him. Spread the dark fear of Bane. It is the doom of those who do not follow him to let power slip through their hands. Those who cross the Black Hand meet their dooms earlier and more harshly than those who worship other deities.³

Even were there nothing else to go off of, this would tell us a great deal about the group dynamics of any followers of Bane, whether established church or fragmented cult. Just as in the Hells, hierarchy is everything to proponents of lawful evil. Any cult of Bane would have a strict order to its power structure, and there would be limited – practically nonexistent – tolerance for any questioning or insubordination of that order. To the minds of Banites, such is simply the natural and superior ordering of the world. These interactions are detailed below: 

Within the church, the church hierarchy resolves internal disputes through cold and decisive thoughts, not rash and uncontrolled behavior. Bane’s clerics and worshipers try to assume positions of power in every realm so that they can turn the world over to Bane. They work subtly and patiently to divide the forces of their enemies and elevate themselves and the church’s allies over all others, although they do not fear swift and decisive violent action to help achieve their aims.³ 

The manner of tyranny that Bane holds to is similarly calculated – he is not interested in mere shows of force, but rather in insidious plots that twist and make use of existing rule of law to legitimize tyranny wherever possible. A social tide operated ostensibly within the laws of the land is far more troublesome to fight back against than a simple army.⁴ 

As far as specific ritual and day-to-day workings of the cult, some can be evidenced here, in broad strokes: 

Bane’s clerics pray for spells at midnight. They have no calendar-based holidays, and rituals are held whenever a senior cleric declares it time. Rites of Bane consist of drumming, chanting, doomful singing, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, who are humiliated, tortured, and made to show fear before their death by flogging, slashing, or crushing.³ 

In this sense, rituals seem most likely to be used as a display of power and a test of subservience, leaving lower-ranked members of the cult at the whims of their superiors, expected – as noted previously – to attend to their commands with the same alacrity they would use were Bane himself to speak. The rites themselves are designed to reinforce and glorify the primary aspects of their god’s domain: the tyranny of forcing submission and pain from the weak. 

Faiths & Pantheons, published a year after the Campaign Setting supplement, provides a similar description of the rituals of the cult of Bane, along with some intriguing and flavorful additions (noted in bold for ease of comparison): 

Their religion recognizes no official holidays, though servants give thanks to the Black Hand before and after major battles or before a particularly important act of subterfuge. Senior clerics often declare holy days at a moment's notice, usually claiming to act upon divine inspiration granted to them in dreams. Rites include drumming, chanting, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, usually upon an altar of black basalt or obsidian.”⁴

As, in the “present day” of Baldur’s Gate 3, Bane has lost much of his foothold on power and his Faith’s old domains, the specifics of architecture of Banite keeps are no longer quite so relevant. However, in times past, when his Faith worked far more openly and held much greater power, the philosophy of Bane was expressed through the architecture of his churches and strongholds: 

Tall, sharp-cornered stone structures featuring towers adorned with large spikes and thin windows, most Banite churches suggest the architecture of fortified keeps or small castles. Thin interior passageways lead from an austere foyer to barrackslike common chambers for the lay clergy, each sparsely decorated with tapestries depicting the symbols of Bane or inscribed with embroidered passages from important religious texts.⁴

The social capital of a Faith – a broad term used to encapsulate all followers of a single deity – is often heavily intertwined with the power of its god, a mutualistic relationship that runs in both directions. More social weight behind the Faith means its god’s name and will is conveyed to more people, some or many of whom might apportion some worship or act in alignment with that god and empower them by so doing. More power for the god means more divine actions that can bolster their own image and the reach of their clergy. At its height in the late 1300s, the Faith of Bane was one of the most prominent and powerful, with comparable might to that of a small kingdom.⁵

Something that is important to bear in mind in a setting such as the Forgotten Realms, not only polytheistic, but an environment where the gods being worshiped are demonstrably existent, is that the followers of evil gods are not likely to be obtrusive with the less savory aspects of their dogma. Not only would that, in the majority of cases, do more harm than good to their deity’s long term goals, in the words of Elminster: 

A dead foe is just that: dead, and soon to be replaced by another. An influenced foe, on the other hand, is well on the way to becoming an ally, increasing the sway of the deity.⁶

All of this aligns with what we see of the Cult of Bane and its operation in Baldur’s Gate 3. While it does not have the same sway and might behind it as it did a hundred years before, through manipulation of law and carefully applied pressure – of whatever form most likely to yield the desired results, be it threats, bribery, blackmail, or use of hostages – Gortash has enacted a steel web of delicate, ensnaring tyranny across the entire city. 

We can even find present-day expressions of the interactions of the cult members, and find that they hold true to what their forebears experienced, further proof of the consistency of lawful evil. A personal note found on the body of a dead Banite guard at the Steel Watch Foundry calls the Black Gauntlet in charge of the Foundry Lab, Hahns Rives, a “disgrace to the Tyrant Lord”, and notes the writer’s intent to “compile a list of Rives’ shortcomings for the Overseers.”⁷ These shortcomings include: 

1. Rives failed to reprimand Polandulus for making jokes about Lord Gortash! 2. Rives missed the morning mass to Bane - twice! 3. Rives didn't punish Gondian Ofran when she missed her gyronetics quota merely because she'd lost a finger that day in the punch press.⁷

We can see evidenced here the constant scheming for position and recognition consistent with this manner of lawful evil hierarchy. Both devils and Banites orient their day-to-day lives around how to prove themselves to their superiors, while also undercutting them at any chance they have to prove their own superiority, with hopes of being raised above them. 

This is only reinforced further by another text found within the Steel Watch Foundry, Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Its text is not written out for us, but described as such:

A book of adages and precepts for Banites, providing the basic tenets of worship of the Lord of Tyranny, with suggested prayers for common situations. The heart of the book is Bane's Twelve Admonitions, a dozen rules for proper Banite conduct, with punishments specified for failure to comply. The book opens easily to a page with two of Bane's most popular admonitions, number six, the Reprimand for Leniency, and number seven, the Rebuke for False Compassion.⁸

The most likely scenario is that this book was used by the “Overseers” referenced by the anonymous Banite writing of Rives above. The exact position of the Overseers is not made clear, but from context and knowledge of Banite hierarchy, we can infer that they inhabit a place in the hierarchy above both the guard and Rives himself, and that their role is to ensure all those below them uphold the tenets of Bane at all times, never losing sight of his will. 

In that context, it makes sense that they would both have a book of specific punishments for specific infractions – rule of law, after all – and that, given the attempted report on Rives, punishments (“admonitions”) for the crimes of leniency and false compassion – and all compassion is false when your conception of the world does not allow for its existence – would be those most referenced. It would be incredibly important to the unity of the cult, as well as to Gortash’s plans, to harshly punish any observed leniency or break from Bane’s law among members of the cult.

Not only would failure to control the situation at the Foundry potentially spell failure for the schemes of Bane’s Chosen, any unpunished step out of line by members of the cult would be seen as tempting others to do the same, a trickle of dissent quickly becoming a flood. Better to ensure that all adherents live in merited fear of the consequence of failure. 

After all, it is said of Bane himself: “He has no tolerance of failure and seldom thinks twice about submitting even a loyal servant to rigorous tortures to ensure complete obedience to his demanding, regimented doctrine.”⁴

And, in an appropriately lawful hierarchy, the same rule must apply from the bottom, to the top.

¹ Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. 2014. p. 26.

² Descent into Avernus. 2019. p. 231

³ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. pp. 237-8

⁴ Faiths & Pantheons. 2002. pp. 15-16.

⁵ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. p. 93

⁶ Ed Greenwood Presents: Elminster’s Guide to the Forgotten Realms. 2012. pp. 135-6.

⁷ Rives’ Failures as a Banite. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

⁸ Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

[thegreymoon]

Mo Ran is so gay it isn't even funny.

Now, this is just my opinion and I realise other people have their own interpretations, but this whole episode is super telling to me of just how unreliable his narration is about having tons and tons of sex with people of both genders in his previous lifetime. He's just so... oblivious. None of this reads as a man with a lot of previous experience with many different people. He did not pick up on her flirting with him at all. Sure, he did have a lot of insane sex in his past life, but as the book unfolds, it becomes very clear that most of that sex was with Chu Wanning. At best, there were only a handful of other people he was involved with, and one was a prostitute he was paying, while the other was his wife whose relationship with him was also transactional.

I know people argue that he is bisexual because he married Song Qiutong, but when we actually get her POV on their marriage, it turns out that they had unenjoyable sex only a handful of times, at least one of which was him taking her from behind and very much imagining that it was Chu Wanning in her place. There are plenty of gay men who end up married to straight women (and vice versa) for whatever reasons and none of this makes them any less gay. He also identifies as a 'cut-sleeve' himself at one point, so he doesn't seem at all confused about his sexual attraction to men. Later on, when we finally get his unaltered POV on his life in the brothel, it comes out that he considered the girls there as sisters at best, never as sexual partners. The only other named sexual partner is Rong Jiu, who is male, and I can buy that there were possibly other people who looked like Shi Mei that he was with under the influence of the cursed love spell, but there was never any real attraction there, which is why some argue that he is attracted only to Chu Wanning and would still be attracted to him regardless of gender.

But I think that this is also not true. He definitely was obsessed with Chu Wanning from an early age, which makes it hard to see what his preferences would have been if Chu Wanning wasn't in the picture, but that chapter when he finally realises his feelings also reveals that he does have a type, which he never dared to think about before because he thought he was unworthy of having a choice. However, Chu Wanning fits this type to a tee, so it's easy to run away with the idea that he is shizunsexual and that Mo Ran's attraction begins and ends with him.

With that said, we do get confirmation later on that he does find other men attractive, in particular, Jiang Xi. It's just that he never has the space or the inclination to do anything about it because of his preoccupation with Chu Wanning. In the extras, when Mo Ran misunderstands Xue Men's relationship with Jiang Xi and thinks they are having a love affair, in his unfiltered Taxian-jun state, he is full of approval because he personally finds these powerful, beautiful, prickly, emotionally unavailable older men to be the height of attractiveness. If Chu Wanning hadn't been in the picture, Mo Ran would have definitely been attracted to Jiang Xi or someone similar. Even Ye Wangxi, whom he also fixates on, fits this type (except for the older man bit because I understood her to be only a few years older than Mo Ran). The fact that she turns out to be a woman also cannot be used as an argument for Mo Ran's bisexuality because she very much presents as a man throughout the book (but whether or not she actually identifies as one is debatable).

In short, Mo Ran does have a type of man he is attracted to and it is definitely men that he likes, regardless of his few dubious and very unsatisfying dalliances with women. While Chu Wanning definitely fits this type of ideal man, there are other men out there whom Mo Ran finds attractive too, it's just that he is too unhinged about Chu Wanning to actually do anything about it. Also, I very much doubt that Mo Ran was nearly as promiscuous as he makes himself out to be because he reads as very oblivious when it comes to sexual relationships in general. Even with Chu Wanning, who was right there and about to pass away from sheer horniness that he couldn't even begin to disguise, Mo Ran was still going, "Shizun is so pure and virtuous!" 🙄

(I'm not going to get into the whole Shi Mei situation and how badly he misread him every step of the way too, but that is because his brain was so badly mangled by him that he really stood no chance on that front until it was entirely too late.)

[kthyg]

ghoul. — (intoxicated) (m)

[FIFTH INSTALMENT OF GHOUL SERIES: INTOXICATED]

"I'll pleasure you like how you deserved."

or

After dinner, Taehyung brought you to his house and took you like you were his.

pairing: taehyung x reader

rating: M for Mature

genre: tokyo ghoul au, soulmate au, smut, gore

disclaimer: this story is a work of fiction. descriptions of the BTS members in this story does not reflect nor portray them in real life. everything in this story only fits in imagination and does not apply outside of imagination.

warning: drugging, non con/dub con sexual activities (oral f receiving, fingering, body worshipping, oc is conscious but not really..., manhandling - softly tho), emotional and sentimental tae also ruthless tae, jimin js wants the best but got hurt instead, there's so much gore in this, cannibalism (heavy on this).

word count: 4.2k+

lexicon & profiles | masterpost | masterlist | navigation

note from winter 💌:

this chapter contains heavy themes :( i do hope you know your triggers before proceeding. i trust u with ur own triggers so pls, read if comfortable, skip if uncomfortable.

💌 what is winter listening to? : consume by chase atlantic ft, goon des garcons

📝 if you want to know more about this au, you can refer to lexicon & profiles. any other questions you can refer to me !!

dedication: sleep demon pt.3

You weren’t his soulmate.

You weren’t his friend.

You weren’t even his acquaintance.

But Taehyung had to call his chauffeur to bring you somewhere – he doesn’t care where as long as you and he were away from the coldness. He had no idea where your house was, and he definitely didn't want to go through your phone just to call your 'soulmates' to ask for your house location. So, he was bringing you to his house instead.

When his driver arrived, he immediately got in and turned the heat up enough to warm you up quickly. As he laid you on his lap, your cheeks were red from the cold breeze outside. His hands found their place on your cheeks as he helped you warm up. Your chest rose and fell slowly and steadily once your body temperature returned normal. Your breathing was shallow, and it made Taehyung panic unknowingly.

Once he was satisfied with the heat of your body, only then did he let go. He detached his hands from your face and stroked your head, occasionally brushing through your hair when he heard you purring in contentment.

You and his other soulmate, Yoongi, would make a great pair, he thought. Yoongi liked whenever his soulmates stroked his hair.

Yoongi’s true persona was Taehyung's hidden persona. The cold and aloof persona. If you could get used to his, you’d have no problem with Yoongi’s. But then why would he even think of getting you into his relationship?

He knew that you and Yoongi hated each other – from Jimin – although you didn’t seem like someone who could hate on someone. From the previous hours of talking with you, he could conclude that you were a soft-hearted person – being obsequious was your nature, not a façade. But that doesn’t make you any less of a great ghoul investigator. You were an excellent ghoul investigator: an investigator that never hesitated to kill any ghoul in the name of duty, the second woman to have made it to Associate Special Class rank – the first one being Jimin’s younger sister, aka your best friend, Rosé, or Park Roseanne or also Park Chaeyoung – you were a very remarkable woman with exceptional skill in KCCG.

You were very impressive for a pure human, and being in the Jeon clan was a plus point – despite being the adopted child. Your background was honestly fascinating to Taehyung. He knew you were not originally from Korea and were from Japan, but he didn’t know how you were brought here, by who, when, or what happened – he wanted to know that.

He better asked his soulmate, then. Jungkook was extremely close to you for all that he knew.

Before Rosé became the first female Investigator of Special Class, almost all the ghoul investigators were males. There were only a few female investigators during her early years in KCCG and before you joined the organisation. The highest most female investigators have climbed in rank was First Class, and they all retired at one point. Still, Rosé broke the record impressively and earned two honourable titles: KCCG's first female Special Class Investigator and Investigator of Special Class.

She was likely to follow her older brother to become the best of the best, especially when her older sister, the first female born in the Park siblings, could not take up the duty of being a ghoul investigator.

There was a reason why most ghoul investigators retired at the rank of First Class. Associate Special Class and Special Class investigators were both difficult to achieve. They required strenuous efforts and great willingness because not everyone would want to dedicate their whole life to their career, especially if they were mediocre. KCCG gave these ranks to the most robust investigators. They could be earned by a person easily or through ten times the hard work to earn First Class. You would be an excellent example of the latter: you have trained for years in the Ghoul Training Academy. Rosé, however, was exempted from training and jumped to the honorary Rank 3. 

Again, there was a reason for it.

She was a half-human.

Every half-human owned superstrength physical capabilities. Since the Kim clan took over KCCG from the Jung, they have exploited half-humans in their best interest in exterminating ghouls. Take three of Taehyung’s clan members: Jin, his older brother; Jisoo, his younger sister; and Mingyu, his paternal half-brother – They were all half-humans.

“We’ve arrived,” the chauffeur announced.

Taehyung acknowledged with a nod as he carefully adjusted his position while trying not to wake you up. The chauffeur opened the door, and Taehyung got out with you in his arms as he made a beeline toward the building entrance. As he walked into the building, the chauffeur watched him with a look that showed Taehyung’s actions and behaviour were highly unusual.

Taehyung has never, ever carried a woman.

Not even the victims of his cannibalism.

And his mannerism around you? That spoke a lot.

He entered the luxuriously fitted building he had been sharing with his soulmates, but most were not around. He knew because almost every floor was devoid of lights, although it was almost midnight; Namjoon was a work freak – he rarely came home. Hoseok was probably settling the uproar at 10th ward with Rosé. Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi joined the research about the newly found drug that had been spreading in 21st ward at the KCCG laboratory, and Jin had been staying at the Kim Main House for the past few days.

But even if his soulmates were around, he wouldn’t hesitate to bring you in. He could easily avoid everyone except Jimin because he would always barge into his floor, but that was nothing Taehyung couldn’t prevent. Taehyung stepped into the elevator, and the system automatically scanned his eyes. After successfully receiving the input, the screen showed the floor destination, Taehyung’s floor.

The elevator arrived with a ding, and the door slid open.

The veil of darkness obscured his vision immediately after the elevator’s door closed. He couldn’t bring himself to switch on the main hall's power source because he had already strode down the hallway to his room, clearly not minding the darkness. Once he reached his room, he delicately placed you on his bed and knelt next to the bed, his long fingers ghosting the side of your face. Longingness flashed in his eyes as he rested his face on his arms.

You were so beautiful; had he told you that?

His fingers began to trace from your jaw to your cheek and the bridge of your nose. His thumb caressed your flushed cheek softly as if you were so fragile that one rough touch could break you.

It was weird.

It wa weird that touching you felt so normal.

It was weird that Taehyung felt the need to pleasure you to redeem the hell you’ve been put through.

He heard about the rough training session you and his soulmates had last week. At first, he didn’t care, but now that he had quality time with you, he couldn’t help but feel bad about the rough treatment you received from your superiors. He could still see the scar on your cheek that you had covered with the concealer, which you had undoubtedly gotten from the training. Jimin had been so gracious to bestow him the minute of meeting (or training).

Taehyung rose to his feet and sat next to you. The bed dipped to his side once his weight settled on the soft mattress. His hand travelled from your face to your left lumbar region. From what Jimin had described, he remembered precisely where your wounds would be. He pulled up your shirt to expose your stomach to his eyes. He propelled two fingers as if to inspect an injury on the bruised left side of your waist. A pained moan escaped your lips immediately when he pushed. He didn’t let the pain linger longer as he pulled away to leave the room.

He returned with a packet of pills and a glass of water.

You stirred awake when you felt Taehyung lightly tapping his fingers on your cheek and his voice calling your name. It was no different than when your eyes had been closed; darkness still clouded your vision. You could make out the bedroom layout, the furniture, and Taehyung’s unreadable face just barely because of the enormous window that allowed lights from the bright outside city to illuminate the room.

“Take these,” he handed you a laminated packet of pills. “It’ll help you with the pain.”

You didn’t bother to ask what medicine he handed over as you popped it out of its packet. Taehyung brought a glass of water to help ease the pills' movement into your system. “Thank you,” you muttered groggily.

You weren’t exactly in pain.

What pain did he mean?

"I feel funny." You told him.

You saw his soft smile as he stroked your hair. His voice was mellifluously low as he spoke, “Given that you're drunk and all.”

No, it wasn't just that. Of course, the fact that you were in Taehyung's place, drunk as fuck, and on his bed was already funny. You were slowly losing your senses. What pills did he give you? You couldn't feel your limbs anymore.

"I'm guessing you've noticed it by now."

What?

"Tae–"

He quickly shushed you softly as he continued, “Don’t worry. It’s a temporary effect.” He leaned into your face, his eyes looking at you so… lovingly, so full of emotions. The eyes that had been staring at you with nothing but a dull gaze were now looking at you like you were the only person that mattered. Were the pills harmless even if the effect was only temporary?

His palm cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing so gently, so softly that it almost had you close your eyes to enjoy it. You could feel your body slowly burning up as seconds passed. It must be from one of the pills he gave. You cursed at yourself for being so careless and vulnerable. “I want you to rest properly…”

“While I pleasure you.”

Lost in confusion, you only stared at his eyes, trying to understand his meaning. The question was on the tip of your tongue, but Taehyung didn’t seem like he would answer you as he dived into your neck, inhaling vehemently. His hands glided to your wrists. The feeling of his fingers feathering around your pulse made your heart bloom with warmth, as much as you wished it didn’t. Taehyung locked his fingers around your wrists and pinned them above your head.

Your heart squeezed at his manoeuvring; All of his movement was painstakingly tender that your heart hurt.

His hand pressed on your wrists enough to restrict any movement from you. His dark orbs scanned your flushed face and body as his free hand slithered the curve of your body, “So delicate… My dainty cherry,” purred Taehyung.

Your mind was still hazy from the alcohol; you hadn’t had the chance to sober up properly, not now when Taehyung had given you those pills. You could feel your limbs again, albeit not entirely; they felt heavy. You groaned when you tried to move your arm but stood no chance against Taehyung’s grip.

“You don’t need to move at all, princess,” he told you; his palm cupped your sex, eliciting a gasp from you. “I’ll gladly do all the work.”

His hand reached to deftly undo your pants and the other piece of fabric under them. The cold breeze against your flushed skin felt like nothing when Taehyung covered his hand around the skin of your thigh. His calloused hand stroked your thigh until it reached dangerously near your heat again, making you squirm in response.

“So responsive, aren’t you?” Taehyung cooed. “I barely even started.”

His delicate fingers reached to play with your folds. He spread them and blew air, causing goosebumps on your skin. There was a glint of amusement in his eyes, and you could only think of one thing; you were wet. He traced a finger and dragged it along the line of your vulva.

“Can I kiss you?” He gazed deeply into your eyes. His gaze was nothing short of like a man in love. Whispering, he added, “Please?”

Even so, Taehyung didn’t wait for you to answer as he lowered himself and captured your lips. He kissed you hard, devouring you. His wet muscle intruded your mouth, deepening the kiss. You were out of breath, but Taehyung didn’t seem to care as he continued to fuck your mouth with his hot tongue.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips when you felt digits delve into your pussy. You managed to break the kiss (because Taehyung let you do so), but his lips still hovered dangerously close to yours as he continued to finger you vigorously, forcing moans to spill from your lips. You sobbed uncontrollably when you felt his fingers reach the spot of intense pleasure. Your face was stained with tears and saliva, both yours and Taehyung’s. He sloppily kissed and licked your face while his fingers were inside you, making you a wet, wrecking mess.

“Taking my fingers so well,” husked Taehyung. “Like you were meant for me.”

Moans and whines were spilt uncontrollably from your lips, but they were a beautiful, mellow tune for Taehyung. He got off your pretty voice, crying out his name or just incoherent words.

“Do you like it, cherry?” He asked in between kisses. “Has anyone ever touched you? You’re so tight around my fingers.”

You couldn’t respond to him when you knew this was wrong, but you felt good. You wouldn’t respond to him because it was such a personal question to be asked.

Why would he even care?

If trying to get laid was his objective this whole time, your experience wouldn’t have mattered to him.

You turned your face away from him to avoid any more intimate kissing and licking from him, but, of course, Taehyung wasn’t going to let you. His hand that was on your wrists reached for your jaw and turned you to face him again.

His voice was rough and thick with malice as he rasped. “Answer me.”

“N—No one has ever—” You sputtered.

He seemed satisfied with your answer as he fastened the pace, his fingers abusing your sweet spot, making you see stars. His lips travelled down to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses along the expanse of your skin. His hot breath fanned your ears as he whispered silkily, “Cum for me, pretty girl.”

Fire had been pooling in your lower abdomen long enough that when he huskily commanded you, the spring coiled tightly one last time before you shattered around his fingers. Your body dissolved into pleasure as everything cut to white noise, drowning the soft praises that spilt from Taehyung’s lips for you as he slowly pulled out his fingers that were coated with your essence – not before playing with the swollen lips, pushing you to overstimulation and eliciting a string of strangled moans from you.

Taehyung released your wrists, but you made no effort to move them to cover your face even though you desperately wanted to hide your face from his gaze. You could only afford to close your eyes in hopes of passing out – hoping that the veil of darkness would cover you fully, your vision and mind, so you could brush this off as a nightmare. You were embarrassed and humiliated that you had enjoyed having his fingers pleasuring you and giving you an orgasm (after so long). You did nothing to escape him when he had clearly forced his way with you.

Who should you blame in a situation like this?

You almost slipped into unconsciousness when you felt tappings on your cheek, followed by his voice.

“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet,” Taehyung cooed. “I’m not done with you.”

Before you could protest, he turned your body over, stomach flat on the soft mattress and your back exposed to his eyes. His movement was so fast, and you could finally comprehend his true control over you. You tried to turn around again – to push him away. To kick him off you. To do anything to get away from him and this place.

But the Special Class Investigator climbed on top of you as quickly as he flipped you over.

“Tae?” Jimin entered his soulmate’s apartment after he had rung the doorbell and entered the passcode. The first thing he did when he stepped into Taehyung’s territory was to cover his nose. The air was reeking of sex, and there could be only one reason. The space was seemingly endless as no lights were on, looking like nothing but a black hole. Had he not heard the rustling of a comforter from his partner’s bedroom, he would’ve thought no one was home.

Making his way toward Taehyung’s bedroom, he switched on the hallway’s lights. Once he reached the bedroom, he twisted the doorknob and invited himself in without knocking or making his presence known again. He didn’t need to. It was unlike for there to be anyone other than his soulmate.

“Again with new victim?”

Or his soulmate and his victim. Probably dead, or if she was lucky, Jimin had come right before Taehyung ate her. “I restocked your fridge with enough meats to last until the end of this week,” Jimin crossed his arms. Taehyung’s room was so dark that he could barely see the victim’s nor his soulmate’s face. But why did he catch a glimpse of you?

No, Taehyung wouldn’t be so stupid to hunt for doves now, would he?

Sighing, he pinched his temple and walked towards the bed where his soulmate was; hearing that Taehyung didn’t say anything in return – which was extremely odd – he continued, “If you ran out of it early, you could’ve just told–”

The pillow looked a lot like your face now. Has he gone mad because of Namjoon’s drastic decision to remove you from his squad to the point he hallucinated?

Fuck no, he wasn’t.

That was you. (Y/N).

“What the fuck, Kim Taehyung!?” Jimin roared and immediately stormed to the bed, body filled with pure unadulterated rage. “Get off her!”

He kept the thought of sharing you with his other soulmates as a safe notion, but not when he was seeing red: threat and danger surrounding you. It kicked off his primal instinct. You were hovered over by Taehyung, eyes shut and face red like a rose as you lay unmoved.

He must’ve drugged you.

“Another step,” Taehyung said, voice dripping with malice. “And I’ll bite your head off.”

Red luminous glow.

That made Jimin pause his step abruptly. Was his soulmate serious about his threat to the point that he activated his kakugan? He truly didn’t want to engage in a fight at the moment – especially with his soulmate. Taking a deep breath, Jimin tried again, this time with a gentle and slow voice. “Let her go, Taehyung.”

“Get out.” Taehyung didn’t miss a beat, quickly dismissing his soulmate with animosity.

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Kim–”

“I said. Get. Out.”

That was enough to snap Jimin’s thin patience as he immediately took another step, disregarding his soulmate’s threat. Still, Taehyung was quicker as his mouth connected to the junction of your shoulder and neck. The crown of his teeth dug into your flesh deeply, blood starting to ooze out from the wound. He tore your flesh, completely detaching it from you. The drug must be wearing off because a painful moan escaped your lips, followed by a soft sobbing.

Darkness started flowing into Jimin’s sclera like ink, and prominent red veins surrounded the eye and the skin around the eye. His iris transformed into bright red, glowing with malice. Simultaneously, a scale-red kagune was generated and pierced through the back of Jimin’s body and shirt. The liquid muscles whizzed towards Taehyung and wrapped themselves around his body, pulling him away from you with mighty force.

“Namjoon will be hearing about this,” Jimin reprimanded his soulmate before he immediately walked towards you with urgency. He brought his hand to inspect your wound and could only sigh at the severity. Taehyung’s infliction of pain on you was a ghoul to human. You were neither half-ghoul nor ghoul, not even a half-human. You didn’t have the ability to regenerate or recover your injury as quickly as the listed species. The only way you could make it out of here alive was to boost up your Rc cells – at least temporarily before he brought you to Namjoon.

Jimin bit off his flesh and lowered himself to you. His hand gripped your jaw to force it open, but the sudden force caused you to thrash around, trying to remove his hand.

“Stop moving unless you want to die (Y/N).” He chided.

Had you not been drugged and half of your body could not move properly according to your will, you would’ve slapped him across the face. Your blood was boiling: the nerve to say that when he was no different than the other guy.

The person that bit off your flesh was apparently his soulmate, and you trusted neither of them equally.

“Fuck off.” You spat as you took out your hidden quinque: Ifraft and Abksol. Summoning any excess energy, you stabbed Jimin’s arm, piercing his flesh so profoundly. Save the guilt and remorse for another time as your body and mind enter fight-or-flight mode.

“Fucking hell–” He lurched back from the sudden attack. “(Y/N)!”

You didn’t just attack because of distrust.

Bringing one of your knees closer, you kicked Jimin off the bed and tried to get up. The luminosity of his red eye increased as he glared at you. He managed to get up and look perfectly unscathed.

“Y–You…” The realisation had you tongue-tied and spluttered as tears coursed down your face, blood still oozing from the open wound. “You’re a ghoul…”

You attacked him because he was the species you dutifully needed to exterminate.

“(Y/N),” Jimin began, voice unwavering. “I really need you to cooperate with me right now if you don’t want to die. It’s only a matter of time before your wound becomes fatal to your life if untended.”

“Thank you, but I can walk to the nearby hospital.” You turned down his proposal with a stern gaze.

“And risk you exposing us?” His voice lowered a pitch, and his eyes darkened. “Not a chance, (Y/N).”

His kagune generated another scaled tentacle and whizzed its way toward you. You were quick to cut through his soft kagune with the daggers in your hands, but just with that defence movement, you were already out of breath. You clutched onto the blades like they were your lifeline.

‘It’s only a matter of time before your wound becomes fatal to your life if untended.’

Fuck…

It would be best if you made it to the door and out of this place, call Mingyu or Minghao and–

“You spoke your thoughts out loud, honey.” It wasn’t Jimin’s voice.

Before you or even Jimin could even turn to the one and only person the voice could’ve come from, a pair of kagune latched itself to your wrists, simultaneously yanking away your weapon. Taehyung had broken free from Jimin’s rinkaku grip by summoning his own kagune. His scale-red tentacles pierced through Jimin’s, and immediately, the liquid muscles disappeared into thin air because the weak bond between the Rc cells in his kagune was disturbed by a sudden greater force.

Taehyung’s movement was fast as he ripped off his own flesh and forced it on you by shoving the piece down your throat without mercy. His voice was rough as he gritted out a command for you to chew on his flesh. His hand covered almost the lower half of your face to prevent you from spitting the flesh out.

The force he put on you was pressuring and suffocating.

You were vulnerable.

Your wrists were held down by Taehyung’s rinkaku, immobilising you at once.

“Eating his flesh one time won’t turn you into a ghoul,” Jimin said from afar. It almost sounded as if to soothe, but his voice was incomprehensible given the situation at hand, and you have long gone into fight-or-flight mode. His whole kagune disappeared into thin air, and his eye was restored to its normal state, leaving only Taehyung in his ghoul form. “It will only boost your Rc cells before we can bring you to the doctor.”

You were forced to accept his flesh with the force Taehyung put in his hand on your mouth. The soft muscle has no way out; way in was the only way. You tightly clenched your eyes as you chewed and let the flesh enter your body. You could taste the blood, thick on your taste bud, and most likely to leave behind a lingering after-taste. Tears formed at the corner of your eyes, and it took you by surprise when you felt something brush the tears away.

“I’m sorry you got to know it this way,” Jimin spoke softly as his thumb gently wiped away the tears that had escaped your eyes. “Let go of her, Tae.”

Taehyung was unmoving. His gaze was hard on you. It was a gaze of malice that mixed with sombreness. His red scale tentacles let go of your wrists and travelled to your neck – to where your pulse was, just above the wound.

“You took a prevention medication, didn’t you?”

All rights reserved © 2023 kthyg. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost without permission. Feedback is very much appreciated. It keeps me motivated! Send me an ask !!

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Book Openings I Love

Deciding how to start your book is an important and daunting question. I put together a list of book openings I love- and what makes them so good- to help brainstorm.

If you have any you'd like to add, please do! Let's keep this post ongoing.

1) Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Anyone who read this book as a kid will know exactly what I mean.

'The Lightning Thief' starts with a warning to the reader to stop reading the book immediately and believe whatever lies their parents have told them. Otherwise, 'they' might come for them.

An adult might roll their eyes at this, but as a kid, you believe it. You find yourself wondering if what you're reading is true. It makes you feel like you're a part of this story- even if you haven't realized it yet. So, as you read on, you might end up looking for the signs and clues that this world of Greek gods and monsters exists around you in real life. The lines between fiction and reality blur, if only for a little while, and you become immersed in the story, because on some level, you can't help but want it to be real.

It also leaves you feeling that by reading this, you're doing something forbidden- something dangerous. Exactly the kind of stuff that gets your heart racing as a kid.

2) Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Life of Pi is one of my favorite books of all time, and the beginning has a lot to do with it.

"This book was born as I was hungry. Let me explain."

The book begins with an author's note that's not exactly an author's note. It begins as any author's note might- the writer explains how his previous publication was a bust, and that he took a trip to India to reinvigorate his creativity as he tried to write a new book that ultimately sputtered and died. That was, until he met a man who promised to tell him a story that will make him believe in God. The man then told him to seek out the main character, who is alive, and living in Canada. When the author does, he agrees that his story is indeed a story to make one believe in God, and commits to writing it down as a book through the main character's point of view, only with the disclaimer "any inaccuracies or mistakes are mine."

As they follow this progression, because of the way it's all structured, there's a good chance the reader might find themselves asking "Wait, is this a true story?"

The answer is of course no, and anyone who's read through most of the book would probably figure that out easily. However, if you get to the ending, you realize the question "Is this a true story?" has significant implications for the story's themes- and that makes them all the more resonant.

TL;DR: Life of Pi's beginning does the same as The Lightning Thief's beginning, only in a less obvious way that's far more effective on adults.

3) One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus

The premise of "One of Us is Lying" is that someone killed a boy named Simon, and that the people in the room when it happened- who just so happen to be the four POV characters- are the main suspects. The book then starts off my immediately putting the reader in the scene where Simon dies.

Now I'm not sure if this is a common mystery novel set up (I haven't read enough of this genre to know), but it's an effective one. This has the effect of getting the reader engaged in the story right from the get-go. Instead of passively reading the chain of events, the people who picked up the book are already going to be searching in between the lines for any clues on 'who done it.'

But not only is the reader looking all the little details in the scene, but they're also going to be questioning the POV of the person narrating the chapter. From the very start of the story, the reader gets immersed in several levels of tension that hook them and carry them through the rest of the story.

4) The Giver by Lois Lowry

"It was almost December, and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No. Wrong word, Jonas thought. Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen."

The first chapter begins with a scene of an aircraft flying overhead a peaceful community, and a child narrator who's overly careful about using the right words to describe things. The narrator's trait doesn't appear to be unique though- a quick flashback to a moment in his classroom shows that this tendency has been drilled into him, just as with any other kid. The reader immediately gets the sense that something is off. What that something is, though, is a bit harder to pin.

There doesn't seem to be anything nefarious going on, aside from maybe the mention of a citizen getting 'released' after the aircraft landed and everything calmed down. Only, later in that chapter, being 'released' gets mentioned twice again at his family dinner, as his parents discuss how their work went that day. But otherwise, the dinner seems to be a normal and mundane affair with an emotionally mature, functional family. Maybe a little too functional.

So, when Jonas decides that the feeling he's experiencing is 'apprehensive,' the readers start to feel that way too.

5) A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan

The preface and first chapter of "A Natural History of Dragons" does a great job of introducing one of the series's greatest assets: its main character.

"One benefit of being an old woman now, and moreover one who has been called a "national treasure," is that there are very few who can tell me what I may and may not write."

In the preface of the book, we find out exaclty who the main character/narrator is: a famous Victorian-era woman and accomplished dragon scholar, who's too old to care about being a 'proper lady' anymore. What's more, she's writing a series of memoirs about her life to satisfy the many adoring fans who have been writing her letters in hopes of hearing about the juicy gossip of her famous expeditions.

The narration oozes with personality from the very beginning, and that's before we even get to meet any dragons. Following this introduction, we get to see where her passion for dragon studies began: collecting little dragon "sparklings" as a kid. While her fictional readers would know these little creatures as commonplace in her world, the actual readers don't, since this world is as new to us as it was to her as a child. As such, the reader gets to share in her childlike wonder, and gets excited by the promise to discover the secrets of dragons right along with her.

[hero-israel]

There's a lot more like this.

I think we can take some pride in the fact that, even on a steadfastly very very pro-Jewish and pro-Israel site, readers are NOT galloping towards revenge and butchery, they are showing basic humane care for Palestinians. It is much better than you see aimed at Jews from our enemies.

So much of the popular understanding around Gaza has been twisted by propaganda and weasel-words. People can be astounded - or accuse you of lying - if you point out the normalcy, even luxury, in the sectors where the favored and well-connected live, or that the widespread accusations of "starvation" are a pure hoax, that so much of the "humanitarian aid" meant for them are just photo ops. The obviousness of how much the outside world doesn't care about Gaza is matched only by the obviousness of how we are expected to forget the hysteria and moral panics of each successive "report".

When the same people who claimed Gaza was a starving ghetto that would spontaneously Rapture into total emptiness four years ago now make more accusations against Israel's conduct, how are we supposed to believe them?

As a Jew, I cannot respect any notion of "genocide" that is NOT both deliberately aimed at cutting down / destroying a racial / ethnic population and also at least somewhat successful at it. The Palestinian population has never shrunk, has more than quadrupled since 1967, and in Gaza has more than doubled in the last 20 years. If that was like the Holocaust, like Warsaw, where do I sign up? There are people who recommend different definitions of "genocide," but before I take them seriously I would first ask them whether they apply the same term to the Oct. 7 massacre, or if they are purely bullshitting together ad-hoc terminology, like how Amnesty International made up a new definition of "apartheid" that is explicitly not supposed to resemble South Africa at all so any differences between Israel and South Africa are irrelevant neener neener no backsies.

My position is that there is a difference between genocide and killing civilians while bombing military targets. But I also recognize that beyond a certain number of dead civilians, that difference might be moot. I am still very worried that we might see a true cataclysm in Gaza. That that there could be a civilian death toll one or two orders of magnitude greater than any previous round. It never used to be true and I really, really do not want it to actually come true now. As my previous post said, I spent a year hoping the Israeli government would be less a gang of talentless fuckups than they seemed to be, they dashed those hopes, and now they're the same ones supposed to be managing the counterattack. They have to know the risks. It is their job to know and plan around those risks.

David Schraub does a decent job of capturing the "what comes next?" part. There needs to be SOME vision of breaking this cycle. The best scenario I let myself imagine would be that Israeli raids are able to truly wipe out Hamas' command capabilities, weapons, and infrastructure, and Munich-style track down and kill all the perpetrators of Oct. 7. The most respectable and talented leaders in the Palestinian Authority (*crickets*) will have to be physically airlifted into Gaza to assume command, maybe with some plucky UN peacekeepers, then Israel and regional partners (assuming it still has any) work on humanitarian aid and rebuilding so the locals feel like there is some option for a future that doesn't involve suicide belts. I have no hope for live hostage rescue.

[ponkwan]

⌗ ⸰ ₊⠀ WHEN I’M WITH YOU !

the one where wonwoo asks you to move in with him.

pairing: wonwoo x reader

word count: 1.4k

rating: pg-15

content: fluff, established relationship au, very domestic; ft. medical student!wonwoo

warning/s: light profanity

p.s. this is a repost from another previous blog of mine !

A smile graces his face the second he sees you.

It has become a reflex at this point, especially after a busy and inevitably tiring week; the sight of you standing there outside his door, a gorgeous grin plastered on your mouth, holding what seemed like a rather large lunchbox containing what he assumes are dishes of your cooking, is what Wonwoo can only define as heaven itself.

He immediately grabs your wrist and pulls you in the apartment, closing the door behind you before grabbing the handle of the bag to momentarily place it on the floor so he can do the one thing he’s been thinking about all week.

Hold you damn tight.

“This is nice,” you hum with a teasing tone, embracing him right back as he buries his face against your neck.

“I missed you,” he whispers.

You smile. “Ah, really? From the way you haven’t been answering any of my messages, it doesn’t seem like it.”

He pulls back, an already apologetic expression on his features, though before he can utter an apology out, you place a palm on his cheek and pull his face down for a quick kiss.

“I’m kidding. I know you’re busy because of your exams. That’s why I’m here.” You start picking up your bag.

Wonwoo beats you to it however, getting it himself and gesturing for you to freely walk further inside his apartment.

Your friends and acquaintances always tease you about the fact you’re dating a medical student. They reckon that being in a relationship with one is already a lost case to begin with—you are bound to always compete with his jam-packed schedules as he studies and works hard to become a future medical practitioner.

And though you do understand that what they are claiming are entirely and quite painfully true, that still isn’t a good enough reason for you to love your boyfriend any less, considering that you can also see Wonwoo trying to make time for you and give effort in the relationship despite his tight timetable.

“Sorry for not cleaning up,” he says with a chuckle once you arrive in the kitchen, paper bags and disposable utensils scattered around the counter beside the sink. “I didn’t know you were coming, so I’m a little bit over the place.”

You glance at him and notice how tired his face appears. He’s still handsome nonetheless—even in just his normal home attire that includes a plain shirt and jogging pants, he still ridiculously exerts extreme attractiveness—though at this instance, there are dark circles under his eyes and his complexion seems… seems a little dull, lifeless maybe, and from the looks of his tired stance as well, it’s like he’s been cooped inside his room all day long, doing nothing but reading and writing notes.

“Wonwoo,” you frown, “what did I say when it comes to busy weeks?”

He sighs, aware where the conversation is heading. “I can skip your messages but I can’t skip taking care of myself.”

You manage to smile a little because of how childish it always sounds whenever he says it. “Then have you been doing that? Because honestly, you don’t look like it.”

“I… I’ve been trying,” he sheepishly says.

“Okay.” You unzip the lunch bag as he walks closer to where you are. “That’s progress, at least. I just hope you’re not eating ramyeon every single day because you know how unhealthy that is too.”

“But I love ramyeon. It’s my comfort food.”

“It’s not good for you, babe.”

“I don’t eat it every day,” he defends, stopping behind you and hugging your waist while you continue to unpack what you brought for him, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Just every other night. Seungkwan sometimes stops by to give me home cooked meals, you know.”

“I know. I’m glad he does.”

The both of you don’t speak for a few seconds. Wonwoo just carries on hugging you, slightly swaying you from side to side with perhaps half of his weight on yours.

Eventually, you’re moving from one spot to another inside the kitchen—heating up some rice, heating the food that already went a little cold alongside it, and preparing the plate he’s going to eat on as well—all of that happening with your boyfriend still clinging on you like a koala (which to be frank, you’re not exactly annoyed at).

“Babe,” he abruptly says and you glance at him, pausing in putting some kimchi on a small bowl, “what do you think about moving in with me?”

You raise your eyebrows at the question, your hands freezing. “What?”

“I promise not to be that much of a burden,” he tells you straight off the bat. “I mean, I know I can’t cook for shit, but I can clean. I can wash the dishes and do the laundry and stuff you can’t do when you’re the one who’s busy.”

“Wonwoo—”

“I can still shoulder rent and utility bills too. Or maybe you’d want to chip in, but I wouldn’t mind if—”

“—hey, hey.” You chuckle and place the chopsticks down in order to detach yourself from Wonwoo’s embrace, facing him instead to talk about the topic better. “Are you serious right now? Do you know what you’re asking me?”

“I do,” he replies. “I… I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s not just an impulsive thought, I swear.”

“You’ve been thinking about it?”

“Yeah. I just—I just thought it would be better for us. We’d get to see each other more often. Besides, your company building isn’t that far from here too. Even if it was, it wouldn’t matter—I’d drive and fetch you there myself every time if it meant I’d be with you here.”

You’re speechless. Wonwoo’s not really the type to be overly affectionate, honestly speaking, though he isn’t that cold and distant either. He usually knows what the right words to say to get you blushing and your heart to feel full; he likes to buy you meaningful tokens of appreciation at times he feels like it and would agree to do something for you if you asked, regardless of how it might clash with his original plans.

However, you still find yourself being surprised to hear him say those words out loud. It might be because you haven’t been receiving that kind of attention from him in a considerably long time, and so to get them now, it’s like your system is slowly trying to restart and get used to it all over again.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he says when you fail to answer for the last 10 seconds or so. “I just wanted to suggest it. I think I’m starting to hate being alone in this apartment.”

You snort at his last statement. “You don’t hate being alone, Wonwoo,” you reckon, soon encircling your own arms around his torso, “you just don’t like it when I’m not with you.”

He grins and leans down when you begin reaching for his lips, pressing his mouth on yours for the kiss you’ve been trying to get. “Yeah, you’re right. I absolutely despise not being with you.”

Wonwoo steals a bunch of long kisses for a while, and once the two of you break free to breathe, you give him a final peck before speaking. “Okay. I’ll check my lease and start talking to my landlord about it. Then I’ll move in with you.”

“Wait, seriously? You’re agreeing just like that?”

“Seriously.” You kiss him again, letting go of him afterwards. “Well, we still have to talk about it more, but for the meantime, how about we eat and you tell me what you think about the dishes I cooked for you so that I’ll be more convinced to move in with you instead. What do you think?”

A contagious and warm grin spreads on his face again. “God, why don’t I just propose right now too while we’re at it?”

“Hey,” you slap him on the chest, laughing, “let’s take it slow. We have to get you that medical degree first.”

He mutters a soft, “If you say so,” and pinches your cheek in fondness, maneuvering around you then to get his plate and try some of what you prepared.

Even before the first bite though, he’s sure that it’s going to be delicious. After all, if it’s something to do with you—he’s positive that it’s automatically considered as amazing in his book.

thank you for reading ! feedback is always appreciated ☻

⌗ ⸰ ₊⠀ all rights reserved. no part of my work is to be reposted / translated / used in any kind of platform without my permission. i only use this account to post fics.

[ocean-ai]

Day 5 - Q

Pairings: Q X Female Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 1,003

Warnings: Vibrators, clit play, use of pet names, overstimulation, praise

Spicy

Sex with Changmin was always fun. He knew all the right spots in your body, and he knew just what to do to have you screaming for more. You knew that every time you were with him, you’d be satisfied. And the way Changmin would move his hips would have you seeing stars. 

You were now in Changmin’s bed; a whining and moaning mess since he had been teasing you. That was one thing, Changmin loved to tease. And he did it as often as he could. He got off seeing you become weak to his touch and kisses. He loved knowing the power he had over you and your body. 

Changmin currently has his finger on your clit and his lips on your breasts. He hadn’t dared to move his finger inside you yet, but he slid it across your slit, making you whimper. You were sitting on top of him, gripping his shoulders as he added pressure to your clit. “Changmin,” you moaned and it sounded like music to his ears. He adored how his name would fall from your lips. 

His tongue had circled your nipple, making you arch your back since you were so sensitive at this point. His free hand was on your hip, tracing small circles on your skin with his thumb. He smiled against your skin before he felt your hands cup his face and pull him up for a kiss. You wanted to be upset with how he was teasing you, but you also couldn’t be since it did feel good. 

Changmin happily kissed you back until he felt you grind your hips against his. He knew you wanted more than what he was giving you. But you’ll get it in due time. Changmin stopped his small movements on your clit, removing his hand from you and flipping you over on your back. He got up from above you and palmed himself through his sweatpants. He was hard and straining through the fabric. 

You felt that it wasn’t fair you were only one to be fully naked; you wanted to see his beautiful body in all its glory. You got up and placed your hands on the waistband, starting to pull down, but Changmin stopped you. He leaned down, “Patience, doll,” then a beautiful yet wicked smile spread across his face. He got off the bed and opened up the bedside drawer. 

Well, you were fucked. You were hoping he was grabbing a condom, but knowing him, he wasn’t getting that yet. You sighed when you heard the familiar buzzing sound of the vibrator he liked to use on you. It had different speeds and rhythms; Changmin loved to always switch them up on you without giving you any notice. 

Changmin turned to you, smiling softly before he sat next to you on the bed and placing the tip of the vibrator on your clit. He started it off with a less intense vibration, one that makes your breathing hitch. You moaned and gripped the sheets. You were already sensitive from his previous teasing that any sensation felt more heightened. 

“Does that feel good baby?” He cooed, leaning down to kiss your neck. His sweet lips felt sinful as he slowly kissed you and applied pressure on your clit. The vibrations go through your entire body and make you squirm on the bed. 

“Oh god,” you sighed, your eyes fluttering. Changmin could tell you were close even though he’d just started using the vibrator on you. In classic Changmin fashion, he turned up the vibrator to the next level, making you scream and close your legs. His wrist was trapped between your thighs and it didn’t take long for your orgasm to take over. Your fluids leaking out and dripping onto the bed sheets. 

Changmin chuckled as he watched you fall apart from the toy. You were all fucked out and trying to compose yourself, but that proved to be extremely difficult with the vibrator buzzing between your legs. Your breathing had become uneven as the overstimulation was getting to you. “You’re so pretty like this,” he complimented. It’s true, he thought you were beautiful when you’d come. It’s part of the reason why he loved to give you multiple orgasms. 

“Changmin!” You yelped when he turned it up to the third and final setting. It was even louder and now it felt like every inch of you was vibrating with the stupid toy. Your knuckles were turning white as your grip on the sheets tightened. You were a moaning and writhing mess, exactly how Changmin wanted you. 

“Come on, sweet girl, you can give me another one.” He said, and you just wanted to give him what he wanted. Even if your body was spent already. Your whole body shook from the intensity between your legs and Changmin did nothing but enjoy the sight before him. 

As bad as you wanted to give pleasure back to him, you couldn’t even think straight with how he was making you feel. “I’m so cl-close,” you stuttered out. You surprised yourself that you could even say something. You could feel yourself getting lost in the pleasure and your mind was reeling. All you could think about was Changmin and what he was doing to you. 

Changmin moved his free hand so that he could tweak your nipples. The added pleasure to your already sensitive body was enough to push you over the edge. You practically screamed and tried to move away from his hand, the pleasure becoming too much as you came all over the sheets. A wet patch now on the bed that Changmin’s wide eyes were fixated on. 

“I wasn’t expecting that,” he smirked and removed the vibrator from your body. He put the toy away and gave your lips a soft kiss. “You did so well for me,” he praised. You were completely spent, but you also felt like you were floating. He kissed you again before he said, “we’re not done yet, Angel."