#doesnt apply in the same way anymore though

[absurdumsid]

I love the way u draw the boys with lines under theyre eyes, it makes me think of all of them applying makeup in the morning lol

killer is in charge of doing it for them i think

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[shiftingwitholive]

ok, so, i felt like i needed to make this post because my whole outlook on shifting and my reasons for doing it have changed.

when i first started this blog (and by extention, properly got into shifting) i was looking to escape. i'm gonna be honest, i've had a pretty rough go, and when i first discovered shifting my mental health was absolutely terrible. i was constantly tired, i was having horrific panic attacks, i was being bullied, i had no friends and i hated everything about my life. i felt completely stuck in my situation, but i thought that if i shifted to another reality i would never have to deal with that again, right? anyway, then in maybe november or december last year things got even worse, but what pulled me out in part was thinking about how i would never get to meet my DR friends and do everything like that. i pretty much obsessed over this one DR, i would think about it and pretend i was already in it and i made a private tumblr sideblog for making posts as though i was in my dr, i would draw my friends and listen to music and scroll through pins that reminded me of the reality,and it literally saved my life.

Thankfully, now i'm much better, i'm definately gonna be okay. so i don't need an escape any more. nowadays i'm not shifting to get away and run from my CR, i'm shifting to explore and have new experiences and see and do things that i would never get to do in this reality, and it's been great! i think now that i have my intentions more in line and i'm more content with this reality the rest of the realities have been opened up to me, i've been getting way more symptoms and i think i might shift soon! i'm so excited!

because of this, i've also decided that a username change is in order, so for those who know me as excap1ng-real1ty i am still the same person, but that just doesnt really apply to me anymore.

btw: this is not to say that if your main reason is to escape that you won't be able to shift, this is just my personal experience.

with that being said, happy shifting and good luck everyone! you do have the ability to shift realities and you will get there, you just have to keep trying. bye loves!

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

david probably sees hu in him a lot. david thinks hu is easily manipulated because of her kindness, i think he’s projecting. as in he used to also genuinely love helping others and sticking out for people. that is, until he realised that his kindness doesnt pay and that people only take advantage of hin for it.

on that note, i think the same thing can apply to him and arei. arei is very cynical, she believes that if people dont take advantage of others, they will get taken advantage of in the end. during david’s mini break down in ep 10 (i think), he clearly pities arei for trying to befriend someone even though she’s someone with no experience with friendships at all. and he pities her for wanting to change. he definitely sees her in himself a lot. deep inside, he wishes he could change, but he stopped believing in himself a long tome ago

imo his ‘facade’ isnt 100% fake, there definitely some parts of him we see that show who he really is inside.

GODDDD you are so smart anon David is constantly projecting himself onto the people he grows close to, and I think in his four most major relationships so far (Xander, Teruko, Hu, and Arei) you can see a part of himself and what his true desires and feelings about himself are through how he interacts with them. As I explain more in-depth in this post, Xander is very much the kind of person David wants to become. someone who's compassionate and helps others and has hope and not only has faith in a better future, but actively seeks to bring it closer. Xander is David's idea of a good person, an idea that gets shattered after realizing that Xander too is not immune to being deceitful and cruel Teruko and Arei are both people that remind David of himself, specifically the cynical black-and-white way he thinks about the world. But the way he treats both of them is vastly different. The glimmer of light that shined then broke with Xander is re-lit with Arei, because Arei not just shows David a reflection of his own mindset, but a person who wants to change from that mindset. Like you said, David unquestionably saw himself in Arei, specifically his desire to change. Meanwhile in his eyes, Teruko shows no such desire and is forever dead-set on her path

David: Gosh. Teruko Tawaki. David: I know you hate anyone who isn't you, but dragging everyone down with you by getting us all executed is a low blow, even by your standards. David: You're searching for reasons to distrust others, like you always do.

Now we the audience obviously know that Teruko is putting up a front, and if my predictions on how the story will go are correct, I definitely think Teruko will eventually come around meanwhile David will continue on his downward spiral. But that's getting more into theory talk. And as for Hu, David definitely sees his more positive traits within her, specifically the fact that David genuinely wants to help others. That's also something he looked up to in Xander as well, and remember, Xander is David's idea of a picture-perfect good person, the person he wants to be, but thinks he can't be. On the topic of Hu (and this is technically getting into speculation but I think there's enough evidence to support it), I 100% think that she ended up opening up to David about her secret, which is most likely the Hopeless Child one.

Hu: I have to be the one to give everyone guidance. That's the only thing I can do. If no one relies on me, then I won't be useful anymore. Hu: You knew how I felt, and yet you... You... Hu: You toyed with my heart!

And if that is true, that also definitely resonated in David as well considering his own feelings of hopelessness, as well as his suicidal tendencies shown in how he is trying to get himself and everyone else killed in the trial, and also how his hidden quote is most likely referring to himself.

David: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I wish you could just die.

And to cap it all off, I too also think that David's 'facade' was not entirely fake. In a lot of David analyses I see, especially right after the release of CH2-11, there's often a lot of focus on if him pre-CH2-11 was fake or not, and if his current behavior is just another fake persona, or if the small hints of tiredness and grumpiness we see from him like in the prologue is the "real David". But in my personal opinion, I think it's a lot simpler than that I think we're always seeing the real David, we're just seeing him through different perspectives.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 29 !!!

we're in the second half of season 2 batchersss (was gonna say were in the end game now but I'll save that for tomorrow 😫)

The Bad Batch 2x09

her voice 🥲 she sounds so down it hurts

"sounds dangerous" *giggles* ilysm Wrecker 💕

Hunter sniffing dirt again hehe

Tech says "without Echo" and Omega immediately droops her head 😫

creeper peekin 👀

I love how Wrecker was carrying the case with one hand and Hunter needs two and keeps adjusting it 💪

Wrecker checking in on Omega 🤲

oop Omega dramatic sigh count 👀

Hunter lifting Omega up 🥺

"chain reaction, explosion got it 🙄" tbb dealing with teenage fett mood swings now

gentle hands 🤲

that is not your ship kid 👀

Hunter slams the highly dangerous explosives into the ground lmaooo

Hunter hearing the ship power up !!! his turns so fast and jumps over the stairs 🙌

the bickering batch

they're literally all so feral at each other rn 😮

Wrecker giving Omega water first 🥺

she's calling Echo for help 😭

Tech knows he disabled his comms... have they been chattin 👀

Hunter's senses on fire this ep 👌

Hunter pushing Omega in front of him and steering her out of the way 🙌

the Lion King ???

Tech: "protect the ipsium!" Wrecker: bruh 😑

the ipsium survived Hunter slamming it on the ground I'm sure it'll be fine

Wrecker: "why don't you carry it 😠" Tech: "fine" lolol

Tech is so strong omg he carried it like Wrecker 👀

Omega needs something to cover her face in this sandstorm 🥲 give her a helmet

THEY'RE SO SHITTY BOYS CALM DOWN !!!

Omega bby someone hug her !!!!! 😫😭

"what is your issue" 💔

how soft Hunter said her name 🥺🤲

Tech doesnt understand the emotional connection she has to everything but they probably all struggle to see that being soldiers, they're taught to let go of things, stay in the moment to be able to be the best they can, she's just a kid who wants her brother and her home back after just losing everything, I can completely understand both sides of this 🥲 I'm blabbing and it's not making sense anymore 🙃

"thats not the only mistake you need to fix" Hunter's dad mode applies to Tech now too

Tech: "but she said she wanted to be alone" 🥺

they're getting so much better at the whole dad/big brother thing 💕

Tech said her name so gently 😭

Omega and Tech having the same ideas 🥰

"I am fully aware you are capable of the task" 🥺

TECH BLINDLY FOLLOWING OMEGA WHEN SHE FALLS MY HEART

oop I forgot the 😫 Tech falls count: we're on 5 now

THE WAY HE GRABS HER IN THE WATER OML 😭 he was so desperate to save her

Hunter sensing they're in trouble 👀

Not only do I love Hunter's senses but I also love how aware they all are of him, like they all question him every time he pauses or looks off at something, they're all just so aware of each other 💕

Tech and Omega lying down out of the water 🤲

Tech emptying the water from his glasses !! 🥺

"we are alive" ~ bro I love how often he responds like this I can't wait to hear it again hehehe

Omega's wet droopy hair is getting so long 🥺

"the narrow crevasse" i love the way he talks he's so fancy 💅

Putting a bunch of quotes in bc they're iconic 💕

Omega: "everything is changing and you don't even care"

Tech: "I am not sure how I should care about change, it is a fundamental part of life"

Tech: "I am aware that you miss him, but we have to adapt and move on. That's what soldiers do."

Omega: "we're more than that. We're a family aren't we?"

Tech: "yes of course we are"

Omega: "why don't you act like it?"

Tech: "Echo chose a different path, as did Crosshair. I have to respect their decision. Even though it can be difficult to understand, we must carry on. I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you"

I have to put it all in bc this scene means so much to me 🥺🤲💕

Wrecker's scream and the big *fwosshhh* landing in the water vs Hunter's tiny *bloop*

Omega's wave 🫶

the way Hunter just tosses Tech's stuff out of the water and he's still holding Omega's bow is the difference between brother and dad

wet hair Hunter when 👀

Omega "see that wasn't so bad" Wrecker: 👍

Tech being almost as precise as Crosshair 💕

Tech and Omega looking at each other 👀🤲

Hunter noticing somethings different with Omega now after talking with Tech 🥺

CID 🔫 I want to hunt her for sport fr 😈

Omega quoting Tech 💕💕💕💕

oooohhhh this ep holds a special place in my heart fr

[daughterofnoridoorman]

how does my uzi kintype affects a my identities, alterhuman and lgbt? the reason i love murder drones is because of the way the characters are portrayed. for example, n is more than just the dangerous-but-nice golden retriever. he is too nice for his own good, and by existing he goes against his designed purpose. being kind hurt him, and even though he seems fully aware of that he doesn't stop. this also applies to uzi- she's more than the angsty chosen one teenager. there are so many layers to her personality, which makes it pretty difficult to put a pin on the way that having her as a kintype affects me spoiler alert and mentions of su1cide+v1olence!

1- hooded crow theriotype in home, uzi "hacks" the mind of n (and also v's mind too. whatever) to prevent their memories from being wiped. during this, she takes the form of a hooded crow with the username 'darkxwolf17'. when i took this into consideration, i realized why my crow theriotype was so weird. i felt like a person in a crow's body, not a crow in a human's body, which is how i usually feel with my theriotypes. but being darkxwolf17, NOT a crow made so much more sense. it explained why i got bird shifts even though i didnt feel like a bird, why i felt that way, why i always wanted to make nests despite not wanting eggs. i am the body of a hooded crow, not the crow itself.

2- absolutesolver kin (violence warning) (note; when i refer to the solver, i am referring to the virus itself. not cyn, not yeva, not nori, not doll, not uzi. THE solver. not its hosts.) even though uzi neutralized the absolutesolver, it still 'lives' on in her programming. and it is a separate entity from uzi. in my mind, the absolutesolver represents intrusive, violent thoughts. that definition fits both the way i've come to see it and the canon. as someone who has struggled with intrusive thoughts for years, i've learned not to feel too much shame about them. in my experience, that only makes them worse. i know that it's not my fault i cannot control my thoughts, and i wont beat myself up about it anymore. this may sound like the thing your elementary school teacher would say if you got in a fight, but i may not be able to control my thoughts, but what i can control is whether i react to them or not. that's what uzi did. she learned how to block the absolutesolver from her mind. how to take control of what it gave her without it taking control of her. 3- monsterkin (suicide and violence warning) i am vampirekin and demonkin. for the sake of convinience, i will say 'monsterkin' and use it as a general term when i am talking about both of these identities. in cabin fever, uzi transforms into a 'monster' when she does not consume enough oil to keep herself from overheating. in my case, the consuming oil part is like seeking validation. i have always needed validation, but more than usual. i have tried too hard to be noticed and congratulated, but it never worked. and then, the overheating is like suicidal thoughts. without validation, i start to become suicidal. i need high amounts of validation to stay in a 'normal' mental state. uzi's classmates treated her as a monster, even before she transformed. just for being herself. as someone who is a queer alterhuman and has known that from a young age, this has really resonated with me. for just existing, i am a monster. a creature of sin. the subtle homophobia and transphobia i recieved from my closest friend, combined with the same hatred towards alterhumanity from even more people before i was even ten really messed me up. the way cabin fever is written just really connects to me. uzi's already so fucked up, she doesnt need another factor ruining up her life. but it does it anyways. she's proven to everyone how she's a monster. (im not elaborating for personal reasons) the fact that uzi's classmates at the end of absolute end didnt really care that much just really helps me feel better. they didnt care. why would my classmates care? 4- gender and sexuality before i even knew girls could kiss girls, i liked girls. in particular, i liked people i had a friendship with. however, my friendships were very messed up and i fell in love with anyone my age who could treat me with decent respect. i headcanon uzi as bi, and i didnt understand why (other than the doc martens) until i connected the dots that im uzi. i am bisexual. maybe? and theres also referring to v as hot at ep 8 so... angsty bi queen uzi but, although me, the almalgamation of kintypes and names that i am, the uzi part of me always feels bisexual. always. when i think of myself as uzi, i can only see myself as demisexual-bisexual and demiromantic-biromantic. this also applies to gender- i am an axenlector user. i collect xenogenders. i am cottoncandygender, i am gendersky, i am gummisharkgender, i am starricattic. i am more genders than i can count. and i dont care honestly. but once again, when i really connect to uzi, i can only see myself as feminine. this does vary from demigirl to rosegirl to just girl. 5- notes and stuff! well, thanks for reading all the way through! a like, reblog, or follow would be awesome! every time i referred to uzi as someone else it was like "why r u talking abt urself in third person! YOU ARE UZI DOORMAN!" but alas, i must differentiate between myself and my kintypes,,, maybe one day i will not have to,,, please tell me im not the only one kkkkkkkkk

[interstellairs]

how would you go about worshipping a pop culture entity like Kyubey? or like summoning? him?

⭐ )　messages from the stars　ᵎᵎ

hello anon!

i think it's still good to keep in mind basic decency and politeness when calling out to kyubey. i used to be a puella magi in-training and in-action, and personally speaking, i never had to use any specific summoning ritual to call out to him? kyubey often responds to me and arrives whenever i say "kyubey" or "hey kyubey" which is convenient for me as someone who hides their witchcraft practices and cannot perform rituals with the right tools.

for those who want to summon kyubey in the traditional way, such as creating a circle to call out to him, you dont have to use expensive tools which are pretty popular in the witchcraft community, yes? you can create your own makeshift ritual tools and use substitutes that still correspond to the original tools' purposes. i wont be laying down the specifics on how to do a kyubey summoning because it'll be risky for other people, but it's also definitely okay to construct your own ritual procedure!

as for worshipping and honoring pop culture entities, i proceed the same way i do with pre-existing entities from popular pantheons and mythologies. they're not less than or more than any other entities after all, but everyone has a different perspective on pcp entities. for me, it's pretty much mixed? it's either i see the pcp entity as an actual entity, and sometimes i see them as a fountain of energy for me to work with.

when it comes to worshipping and honoring pop culture entities, it's good to keep in mind different offerings and symbolisms. most of the time, there arent any official witchcraft motifs and stuff so you'd have to interpret on your own, think of the things the entity represents on your own, etc., which are a few things i actually did when i researched on madokami! eg i searched for flowers with meanings based on how i perceive madokami etc.

i dont know if it would apply the same to kyubey as he doesnt require anyone to provide offerings, he just would want you in a contract, if that makes sense? im not a contracted puella magi anymore though.

hopefully this answers the question ^_^

if youre curious about anything else, feel free to send in asks

[hadescabin]

tw// grooming i dont go there anymore but finding out how tigerheartstar fans are harassing ppl for pointing out how he groomed dovewing is so hilariously pathetic because it reminds me of how this one person vagued me in response to my tigerdove is grooming post and kept using the craziest possible ways to excuse it. "tigerheart was immature for his age because he grew up during a fucked up period of ShadowClan so its okay that he was dating dovepaw because they had the same maturity levels as each other!" this is going to sound crazy but an adult going after a young teenager is going to be inherently grooming no matter how "immature" the adult is. an immature adult is still going to hold more life experiences than a child and that'll put them in a significantly higher position of power every time no matter how you look at it. its the same vein of how groomers will use "you're mature for your age!" to excuse going after younger kids. due to this him mistreating dovewing isnt an example of "relationships having their ups and downs" but rather an adult preying on a teenager to pressure/manipulate them into doing what they want. (you cant even call this an oots thing, he still does that in their relationship. she has little to no autonomy outside of tigerheart since he pressured her into coming back to the clans LOL). "well the cat years to human years calculator dont show them as having as much of an age gap! (yes this really happened)" this is going to sound crazy but the cat to human years arent going to represent the cats on a 1:1 scale. we know how old these characters are based off of how theyre written and what the story presents them as. like how kits are typically meant to represent young children, apprentices are typically supposed to be teenagers going through middle/highschool. though i wouldnt entirely call this a strong source, kate cary had (or still has) a thing called blogclan and you can apply to be put on the allegiances. what rank you get is determined by what age/grade youre in and if i remember correctly apprentices are middle and highschool aged. i feel like this should be considered a bit of proof that the writers view apprentices as teenagers and write them as such. (its also important to note that apprentices are consistently written as being immature). tldr: fuck your cat year calculators apprentices are teenagers and warriors are adults. he went after her when she was newly apprenticed leaving her the equivalent of 13 years old AT BEST.

now does this mean i think people who like tigerheart support grooming? absolutely not. coming from someone who likes crowfeather (who is also a shitty person in canon) who you like doesnt determine your viewpoints. its the way you go about them does. acknowledge that theyre terrible people and get used to the fact that people will not like them because of it LOL.

[imminent-danger-came]

hi (its the anon who sent you the ask about misogyny lol/correct opinions anon (i dont think my opinions are that great but thank you!) except im not on anon anymore lol) ive been meaning to ask you now you feel about the hero mk warrior mei thing; its by far the most popular interpretation of the hero and warrior dichotomy being applied to mk and mei and it IS a concept İ personally like in my head (İ ❤️ tragedy) but the fandom interpretation has kind of ruined it for me (personally) because it feels like a lot of people only take mk's role in the narrative into consideration and just kind of slot mei into the warrior role without much thought toward her actual character or importance to the plot. that doesnt mean İ hate the idea by any means, but it does kind of make me more critical towards it lol

İ am personally kind of biased towards the hero mei warrior mk thing because for one, İ think mei-swk parallels create such an interesting conflict for mei, and two, because its the less popular interpretation in the fandom İ dont have to see as many bad takes on it haha (im joking)

(also there are SO many parallels between mei & swk that i rarely see pointed out by other fans... like i outside of you i dont see Imk bloggers point them out very often 💔 (ive *never* seen someone point this out before but do think mei stealing the jacket she that gives to mk in 3×02 from ao guang parallels swk stealing the staff from ao guang?))

all of that aside though, im not personally sold on either of these options! İ dont think mk & mei directly fit into the roles of the hero and warrior in the same way as macaque and wukong did! to me it feels like the hero & warrior dichotomy is being set up to be subverted by the show to an extent (whether thats because the show is going to have mei take on the role of the hero, or because mk and mei wont fight at all, or a secret third thing is up to your personal interpretation lol); especially when you take into account the average audience's perspective on the hero and warrior stuff; the obvious conclusion that ive seen most people make is to have mk as the hero and mei as the warrior with most people not even considering mei as the hero/mei paralleling swk! İ dont think this means that mei-swk parallels dont exist (İ spent a decent bit of this ask talking about them LOL) but because they require more inference on the audience's part they dont get talked about as much, which does make me think that show is going to call it into attention at some point (although İm not great with predictive analysis haha, im mostly just putting my thoughts on the table here)

thats pretty much all İ have to say on the topic lol (sorry İ rambled so much haha) im not sure that last bit makes sense AT ALL but hear me out im cooking! İ meant to reccomend some songs that İ thought fit the Imk characters ages ago that İ forgot about lol, anyway İ think burn by the cure is SUCH a samadhi fire mei song. like its one of those songs where it feels like it was made for the character. big shot by jhariah fits like. 90% of the Imk cast imo. like İ know everyone in the comments section is talking about spamton and yes the song is very spamton coded BUT if you erase all your preexisting memories of spamton and only imagine monkie kid characters with it, it becomes a macaque/mei/swk/mk/whoever-coded song. like "think you're a big shot / İ think you're raveled up in a tangle of did nots / you're always just a bit shy, following behind" is so shadowpeach divorcecoded to me. "yeah it's not fair, İ know it's not fair / you aint the only star that's been left for dead" is so shadow play coded to me (it sounds more shadow play coded in the actual song trust me here). İ also think martyr by depeche mode is a samadhi fire mei song (although im pretty sure you could say any depeche mode song is Imk character coded and youd be right aha) also İ think ヘヴンリーユー by lonepi kind of goes down the same route as big shot where you could apply it to multiple lmk characters and it would still fit. its kind of a mei & mk take on the roles of the hero and warrior type thing to me (their asses are NOT escaping samsara!) (one of the english translations of one of the lyrics is literally "time and time again" (what mei says in 3x10) İ think those are all the songs ive been meaning to mention here as of right now ! sorry if this ending seems abrupt İ just dont know how to end asks haha

faggotvivsection I can't believe it was you the whole time! *MK 2x05 voice* What a twist! I always enjoy seeing you in my notes, so hello :)

Anyways, as for the 3x02 Mei and Wukong parallels, I think it goes deeper than just Mei stealing the jacket!

Ao Guang: "Stealing from me? On orders from the Monkey King no doubt."

Mei also steals the map from Ao Guang on behalf of Wukong, just like he had stolen the staff in the past. I think in a way, the map and the staff were both "roadmaps" to get more power, you know. The map enabled them to unseal the rings, and the staff gave Wukong a suitable weapon.

Ao Guang specifically comments on both Mei and Wukong's weapons, Mei with her sword and Wukong with stealing the staff. In a way, both of their weapons are dragon related, one from the Dragon of the West and another from the Dragon of the East.

When it comes to hero and warrior mk/mei, I lean towards both! I think they're both the hero and the warrior for each other in their own respective ways. I love warrior Mei specifically because of 3x10, and because MK refuses to abandon her thus subverting the typical progression of the hero warrior dynamic (even if he can often be dismissive of Mei, stealing things from her [2x06, 3x03], putting a strain on his relationships for power [1x06, 2x03, 2x06, 2x07, 3x03]). I think moving forward however, Hero Mei and Warrior MK are far more likely to play out!

I have a whole samadhi fire part 3 tag centered around a parallel prediction, where we continue the parallel that was set up in 3x10 and 4x08, and while MK is on the verge of destroying the world have Mei get through to MK and reach him. In 3x10 MK is actually able to reach Mei...but in 4x08, MK runs away before Mei can make it to him. So if we had a moment where they were able to close that gap, and neither of them leaves, it'd be really satisfying. I am a huge believer in Hero Mei Warrior MK, don't let anyone ever tell you it isn't real.

Anyhow, onto the song recs:

Burn by the Cure

"Oh don't talk of love" the shadows purr Murmuring me away from you "Don't talk of worlds that never were The end is all that's ever true There's nothing you can ever say Nothing you can ever do" Still every night I burn Every night I scream your name Every night I burn Every night the dream's the same Every night I burn Waiting for my only friend Every night I burn Waiting for the world to end

What a "Samadhi Fire Mei pov toward MK" song am I right. It's also very Warrior Mei ("It follows the tragic tale of a legendary Warrior, and how those who bring light into this world, inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear" -> "Oh don't talk of love the shadows purr", love a good light and dark motif)

Big Shot by Jhariah

Though I may love Spamton, and this is a very stage motif-y "There is no audience" kinda song, I do get the Shadow Play vibes (it's also giving theater Kid Macaque versus Wukong have stage fright lol), and over course it's overtly shadowpeach-esque. I also get a little bit of s2/s3 Macaque @ MK, especially with "You ain't the only star that's been left for dead"

Yeah it’s not fair, I know it’s not fair You ain't the only star that’s been left for dead I asked about your name on the moon It was quiet nobody knew you Aim like an atom who swears it’s going to shoot you Are you the only one-of-one to be found? If you could see the rest, would it bring you back down? You’re no big shot, think you’re a big shot I think you’re raveled up in a tangle of did nots You’re always just a bit shy, following behind I think you’ve spent enough time Singing the same lines

Martyr by Depeche Mode

I've been a martyr for love And I will die in the flames As I draw my last breath As I close in on death I will call out your name I've been a martyr for love Nailed up on the cross While you're having your fun As the damage is done I'm assessing the cost

THE SAMADHI FIRE MEI @ WUKONG OF IT ALL. Mei having to bear the consequence of Wukong's decisions, potentially burning herself from the inside out.

ヘヴンリーユー (Heavenly You) by lonepi

As the moon waned, I realized you weren't with me anymore. As the dawn of the new day broke, I hid my tear-swollen voice amidst the morning dew. You had said something like, "It's all my fault that you're this way." That's right, it's your fault. But just remember, that's not all of it. Every time my positives overcome the negatives, you toss them in the trash and do it over. You've stanched all those opportunities away from me time and time again.

The first pair that comes to mind is MK @ Wukong, or Macaque @ Wukong, but I think MK @ Mei would be interesting, even if not exactly canon. Mei is carrying MK's mental health on her lone shoulders, so that being disregarded in favor of blaming her for his problems...I dig that sort of broken Mei & MK dynamic.

[toastthewolfie]

extremely long song thing regarding Ezra

yeah uh. Was supposed to be short and whatnot but uh. Ended up like this :’)

Life's alright in Devil Town

Yeah, right, no one's gonna catch us now

Dad has bought a new car now

We're fine, no one's gonna catch us now (okay)

This mostly refers to Ezra’s life before the war, how in their eyes, everything is fine, great even! Even though Echo, who was significantly more aware of the situation at the time, would help them and their twin brother, Otto, hide when their father got drunk and pretended like it was all fine, leading to Ezra and Otto having incredibly idealized versions of their childhood before the war while Echo’s is very fucked up

You said something dumb again

She's mad, at least that's what they say

Mum and daddy aren't in love

That's fine, I'll settle for two birthdays

This happens when their parents divorce when Ezra is 6. Their parents got into an argument due to something Ezra did (ask their father for help on something and he snapped and yelled as Ezra to go ask their mother, this lead to their mother confronting him and leading to them agreeing to get divorced. Ezra internalizes this and starts to view themself as the catalyst to this, even though they don’t outwardly show it.

Devil Town is colder in the summertime

I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times

Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night

I still get a little scared of something new

But I feel a little safer when I'm with you

Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

This mostly refers to Ezra as a medic for the Yatritian military. I cant really explain it as theres a part of another song that focuses on this so this doesnt really apply to Ezra but it kidna does so.

We're all dead in Devil Town

That's fine 'cause nothing's gonna scare us now

We're all in our dressing gowns

Mine's white and stripy, yours is green and brown

Again, doesn’t really apply to Ezra.

I forgot my name again

I think that's something worth remembering

Spiders in your favourite shoes

Just leave them be 'cause they're more scared of you

This kinda refers to Ezra’s progression as a character. How they left “Ella” behind and are now “Captain Williams”. They aren’t Ezra, the rising star medic/sniper of Icarus. They aren’t Fade, the ruthless solider of DEF. They’re Captain Williams of the Reinstated Icarus, and even if they’re rough and broken, they’re still a fundamentally kind person who genuinely cares (even if they’re much different and beating someone isn’t below them anymore)

Devil Town is colder in the summertime

I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times

Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night

I still get a little scared of something new

But I feel a little safer when I'm with you

Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

Again, same as before.

Devil Town is colder in the summertime

I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times

Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night

I still get a little scared of something new

But I feel a little safer when I'm with you

Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

Again, same as before.

Scotland - McCarffety 

What kinda God lets children die?

This refers to Ezra’s first deployment as a medic, to a field hospital dedicated to civilian casualties to the pediatric department. Ezra, for most of their life, was raised to think that the gods above were kind and caring (gods do actually exist in my world, and while the religion based around them is loosely based on Christianity, any character’s perception of them is NOT a reflection of my thoughts on religion, believe whatever you want, it’s cool man👍) but after seeing so many children with gashes where eyes should be, or kids with their chest cavity blown out, Ezra doesn’t believe that anymore. If the gods are so kind and caring, why are they letting this happen?

They probably went in her room

They probably thought she's asleep

This refers to everyone’s perception that Ezra is doing okay, despite this, when they very much are not.

What kinda God lets children die?

Same as stated above

They probably thought that she stayed the same

But she's not the same, no, no, not the same girl

This is based around Echo’s perception of Ezra. How Echo thinks Ezra is still child innocence incarnate and that they’re still that same little girl when Ezra has changed so, so much.

Bodies will wonder, and eyes will ponder

I dont really know but i think this kinda refers to Ezra’s first meltdown as what else could they do? They’re 15 at this point. They’re still a kid, hell, they arent even old enough to legally enlist! They lied about their age.

I need to know, will I make it?

I need to know, will I make it?

Based on Ezra’s fear of dying in the war and right after they get crushed by the building that cuts off their leg and is found by Whisper, Azure, and Vagrant (a character y’all haven’t seen yet)

He said, "grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up" yeah, yeah

"Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up" yeah, yeah

"Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up" yeah, yeah

"Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up" yeah, yeah

This refers to all the stages Ezra went through during the war. How they had to change from this loving and openly kind individual into someone else. Someone cruel. Someone who was barely even human in terms of emotion (and the subsequent healing that came with joining the reinstated icarus)

[t4transsexual]

t4t masterpost

im gonna make a whole post with definitions, misconceptions, ect. of being t4t for anybody who this may aid later.

what is t4t?

being t4t or transamorous as a trans person (i wanna see the term transamorous used more often by t4t people tbh) can mean a number of different things, and it doesnt have to be limited to sexual/romantic encounters either.

the general definition is being a trans person who either prefers to or exclusively forms any kind of relationship with other trans people, especially romantic and sexual relationships. for some people, being t4t applies only to romantic and/or sexual relationships, for others, it can extend to friendships and even professional relationships (ie. preferring a trans therapist). though, youre more likely to see t4t people who being t4t only extends to romantic or sexual relationships, and maybe platonic as well.

being t4t romantically/sexually can mean a number of different things. it can mean that one may prefer to date trans people but wouldnt be opposed to a cisgender partner. it can also mean that that trans person only seeks out relationships with other trans people, but if one with a cis person manifested itself, they may not be opposed. for others, myself, the t4t is non-negotiable, and we ONLY form relationships like that with other trans people; some of us dont even feel attracted to cis people anymore for trauma reasons or the like.

what reasons would a trans person have to be exclusively t4t?

theres plenty of different reasons, but they mostly boil down to the fact that its just safer to date/form relationships as a trans person if theyre with other trans people. yes, theres plenty of trans people who are horrible partners, but in my experience from dating trans people vs cis people, the trans people ive dated had each had unique issues that contributed to the end of the relationship, and none of these issues had to do with either of our genders. however, with the cis people ive dated, it was like a pattern. they were always weird about me being trans, they were always transphobic in some sort of way, and they always believed that they WERENT transphobic because they were willing to date a trans person. and im not the kind of person to do the same things over and over and expect a different outcome.

DISCLAIMER: i mention several times throughout this post that dating trans people as a trans person is generally safer/easier than dating cis people. i do believe this, but you can still be abused and hurt by trans people. my trans ex girlfriend tried to kill me. being t4t doesn't guarantee safety; its still your responsibility to notice red flags and react accordingly. stay safe out there!

you can still be hurt by a trans person, but youre much less likely to run into hangups about gender, transition, and personal values regarding being trans if you date trans people. youre generally not going to run into someone with a savior complex because they date trans people, or someone who will emotionally manipulate you when you call them out on their transphobia if you just date trans people in the first place.

what does being t4t look like?

any trans person can be t4t. there are many gay trans people who are t4t, and many lesbian trans people who are t4t. theres trans bisexuals/pansexuals who are t4t. people on the aromantic/asexual spectrums can also be t4t. there are straight t4t people, like me. these relationships can be monogamous or polyamorous; theres are polycules of exclusively trans people.

for many, being t4t is a conscious choice. being transamorous isnt a sexuality, its a preference. many transamorous trans people can feel attracted to cis people, but may not want to form a relationship with them on the basis that theyre t4t. attraction isnt consent.

isnt t4t just like being a chaser?

i wont deny the existence of trans chasers who happen to be trans, but trans bodies arent a fetish. yes, there are people who fetishize trans bodies, but this isnt every person who is attracted to trans people (and yes, this includes cis people) because we arent abnormal. trans people are perfectly natural, and attraction to trans bodies (even those that are that are pre/non op!) isnt a deviancy, its normal.

the idea that attraction to trans people is a deviancy and not the norm is inherently transphobic, and many trans people internalize this rhetoric, and develop trust issues around dating or having sex. the "wrong body" narrative can be true to some, but it isnt true to everyone. i personally wouldnt want to be cis, and many other trans people feel this way too. attraction to trans bodies is normal, because trans bodies are beautiful.

then what IS a chaser?

a chaser is a person whos attraction (and therefore acceptance) of trans people is dependent on them fulfilling a certain role. many chasers dont view trans people outside of pornography, and so they have a warped idea of what a trans person is. a chaser isnt defined solely by their attraction to trans bodies, because EVERYONE is attracted to trans bodies. they are instead defined by their behavior towards trans people. more often than not, because chasers don't interact with trans people outside of a pornographic lense, they dont see trans people as human, or really as anything beyond an idea to get them off. a relationship with a chaser is often degrading, one sided, and controlling. many chasers dont want their trans interests to get certain gender affirming care, such as hormones, or surgeries.

if youre a trans person who cant tell the difference between someone who isnt opposed to dating a trans person (cis or trans), and a chaser, there are definitely things to look for. the main sign that youre interacting with a chaser is that you may feel degraded just by interacting with them in an intimate way. chasers are known to do that.

transfemme tops and transmasc bottoms

many people have called me a chaser when i (st4t) have expressed that i prefer to date transfemme tops. ill go ahead and explain: im straight and a bottom. i just happen to date mostly trans women. im not seeking out transfemme tops because theyre trans tops, im seeking them out because they align with my sexuality and transamorous preference. i also dont have a genital preference, and transfeminine people can have vaginas.

now that thats out of the way, remember that there are many different ways to have sex, even as a trans person. some transmasc bottoms dont use their natal genitalia to bottom, some transfemme tops dont use their natal genitalia to top. there are many different ways to top or bottom for somebody, no matter what genitals are involved. many trans women use strap ons to top, for example. hrt can also alter how our genitals work.

final note

t4t trans people arent chasers, and t4t is, imo, the safest way for a trans person to date!

[bauhausdog]

i feel weirdly energetic for some reason, (◕‿◕) so im gonna talk about something in my mind a bit.

basically, i think that "learn the rules before you break then" and both "shape language is real, triangle can indicate danger" and "shape language isn't real, look at all these square characters, they have nothing in common" are kinda flawed and highlights what i think its a deeper problem on how we tackle art theory as a whole. Also, i think appeal is subjective and that, actually ugly or "unappealing" things have value.

skip to the star emoji if you just want to read my main point

I don't like how the drawing fundamentals are treated as a single canon, i personally don't believe in a single canon on, uh... pretty much anything, perception, even though there's quite a lot of objective ideas in it (like how lenses work, ambient occlusion, anatomy, etc.), that doesn't mean the way we make those connections and create theories based on them is objective and silver bullet proof. To make my point a bit clearer, I'm specifically talking when people refer to the "fundamentals" as the rules, to further sharpen my point of view, i rarely, if ever, believe in rules in art. To exemplify of what i mean, let's immerse a bit in the world of... uh.. renaissance era, although it would be delightful to rant about centralizing "art" as "beauty and skill" and those as whatever western society at the time thought it was good, i am not and i dont want to make a comparison of bigoted "beauty" guidelines to "uhmmm, not so objective aesthetics" guidelines, but i do want to use a specific pattern of thought in it.

Ok, so, (at least the art we known) from that era looks kinda the same right, that's because they had a somewhat set of ideas and values of what made "something pretty", and "good art", that is, realism = good. Ok, then let's say you, fellow artist, wake up in bed, and decide to read a hypothetical "art rules" book and decide to compare it to the "good art", you see how you should structure the steps of a drawing, how you should apply anatomy, how you should render shit, and so on. "golly gee, that's a bunch load of rubbish if i ever seen one" You might say, but you take another look at your 1500 deviantart gallery book, all of the popular mainstream artworks seem to have followed these steps, right? But there's something missing,

Here's a question, how do you make something new then? art right now doesnt look like reinassaince that much anymore. You might say "oh break the rules", im gonna get to that part, put that in the back of your head. Ok, so, how do you create something new? how would you create artwork? if you were trained like those famous painters, you would probably just follow their steps and mindset, and create similar artwork, but can you break the pattern while upholding restrict art guidelines? imo you can't

"bauhausdog, what does this have to do with cannons?" shhhhhh... im gonna get to that part.

So, art history taught us that, in a nutshell, people just ducked around and finded out, breaking that rigid art canon piece by piece, although it's worth noting that a lot of it was also ideological, but i want to shine a spotlight on the art part of this phenomenon, "art should have realistic colors" lol no, fauvism, "art represents reality" lol no, surrealism, "art should be realistic" lol no, modernism, "art should not be realistic" lol no, naturalism.

people broke that weird rigid old canon, and people learned that they could make new things bc of this experimentation.

Alright, let's tie evertyhing together so far, in the modern day, we have taken a lot of lessons based on these art movements, we absorved a lot of stuff, we have knowledge of almost everything, our process of drawing, our way of arting, our 'artstlye', is super varied, there is a lot of elements at our disposal, we can be as realistic as we can, as cartoonish as we can, we live in the same timeline as tawog and everything everywhere all at once, shows that mix different methodologies, philoshopies of art in one motion picture.

excuse my "middle-upper class got out of art school trust fund guy" term here, but we do live in a hypermodern reality, this is super, super cheesy, but it is everything, all at once :PPP.

Now, let's wrap the previous question, how do you create new stuff? experimenting, literally thinking outside, inside, and about the box, that box being our conception of art, also, the way we conceptualize art is super importqant, i mean, its literally the way our little heads organize what is a art and how do you art a thing.

"bauhausdog, you said something 30 minutes ago about the back of the head", ok, so, to talk abut how we conceptualize art, let's talk about, well, the thing. Until now, my thesis isn't breaking any new ground, i'm not proposing a solution, or at the very least pinpointing a problem, well, i can kill the rest of the birds with just a single stone, a quote stone.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"learn the rules before you break them", it seems reasonable at first, let's break down the phrase, "learn the [rules](...)" what is this "rules"?, well, it's the general notion of art fundamentals, "(...) before you "break" them", what breaking means, exactly? well, if we take fauvism, fauvism was about subverting naturalistic rendering as the "correct pretty" standard, fauvism is basically messing with colors, duck around, find out. This distinction is important to make, in my interpretation, "breaking" is equal to that, experimenting outside a strict set of guidelines.

But wait, did you catch it? the weird connection with these two sentences, "learn this general set of rules, then you can experiment and get to your own conception of what art is", this sounds weirdly similar, where i've heard that before....

this is where it all comes together, follow me on this logic for a bit. Based on what I talked about the art movement argument, i said that previous experimentation (eg: modernism) lead to a better conception about art and its elements in general (eg: learning about abstraction and how to incorporate that on an artwork with modernism), the give-away here is that we build upon to a better and more comprehensive understandment. So, the contradiction to me is, if you need to learn and build upon a certain set of guidelines to then be able to do your own thing, there is something wrong with this set of rules.

To me it is just so weird that these rules just ignore that we live in a world of everything, why a "wrong" color palette is wrong? why airbrushed pillow shading is wrong?

and i'm not crucifying this one phrase, in my opinion, this is part of a wider acceptance of just this general "art guidelines" that you need to learn to improve.

What i am criticizing here is a generalized "art conceptualization canon" that fails to consider the subjectivity of aesthetics and caters to a mainstream type of art, and is tunnel visioned and doesn't teach art beyond the bite sized pieces of information.

I don't have a lot of examples to back this up, but what i do know is, there's no agreed upon, universal opinion on whats appealing or not, what works or what doesn't, what's true or what's not. The only example i will bring up is this. perfect perspective is bullshit, like, persperctive is the least broken rule here, perspective should not always be drawing straight lines converging trhough a point, honestly, freehand it, use your knowledge to distort it. "draw straight lines converging to a point" is a bit shallow

In my opinion, art should be taught in a more hollistic way even down to the little details, actually, i think it would be beneficial to teach a hollistic view in art as a whole, as in, the individual elements don't live in a vacuum. And also, there should be an emphasis on different aesthetic values (eg: naturalistic, western comic book, modernistic, eastern) and be mindful of the subjectfullness of aesthetics.

In conclusion, i think we should start refering to the general "fundamentals" as like, "post-modern western society's theory on illustration aesthetics" or in an actual serious manner something like "objective art theory". that's still a janked mess of a broken, but i would much prefer structuring things as like "perceptual color theory", "emotional color theory", "western color theory", instead of plain "color theory"

tldr: "art fundamentals" are a bit reductive, tunnel visioned and puts a single set of aesthetic values on a pedestal

also, a bit of a tangent, but i dont believe in a universal appeal at all, "dont shade with airbrush", "dont pillow shade" there's at least one human being that really, really likes the look of airbrush with a pillow shading look, just follow your art honestly, even if it is ugly, who cares, ugliness should be celebrated, not in the "not conventional" kind of way, i mean graffiti is beautiful, but i hated graffiti, acne looks pretty, but im still trying to unlearn to hate acne.

extra tangents: i think that color theory reflects certain aesthetic values and is not universal (dont have anything to prove but a suspicion), let people do random ugly shit for fun, "bad" art has value.

sorry if it doesnt sound coherent as much as i try to push my brain power my head feels foggy when i try to talk about something

I will add to this more later

[notthestarwar]

gold teeth and a taste for this town sounds fascinating O.O

ahhhh ok so I kind of love this. it's entirely self indulgent and I had a great time writing the first 3000 words and then realised that i'd set myself up with a mammoth task if I were ever going to manage to explain the backstory enough so that anyone but me understood what the hell was happening.

so the story is set in this kind of small dead-end, americana esque town. one day a stranger rolls in to town and wanders in to the restaurant Fox works in. And it's like he's wandered in to the wrong story, he's walked straight out of a space opera and now he's sitting in front of Fox, like thats a thing that happens. never left this small town and thinks he probably never will: fox.

and then! maul has the cheek to start quizzing Fox, and acting like Fox is out of place. As far as Maul is concerned, he's landed on some dead end planet, walked in to an even deader town, and found a clone. Maybe the last clone. And this clone, is acting like he belongs here, like he has no idea who Maul is, like he's never known war, like he's never known anything but this place.

it's so bizzare that it shakes maul out of his usual, stab first, ask questions later attitude. he arrived on this planet a bit lost, there isnt really anything left for him. his ex master took over the galaxy, and he didnt need maul to do it. maul has tried his hand at leadership, at crime. but whats the point. but then. he stumbled upon this mystery, and against all reason it just, compells him.

so maul asks some more questions and it becomes apparent that fox woke up here with no memory, assumed he belonged, and everyone in this town felt so fucking awful for him (they're out of the way but news of the war reached them. news of the clones seemingly fizzling out after the empire, supposedly all gone). they just... didnt correct his assumption. and based on like. books he's read and the gossip he hears from the locals about each other, fox has just pieced together that he's this small town boy, who's never left. of course it doesnt QUITE feel right, fox shouldnt believe it, but he wants to.

he's a clever man and he can see the way the townspeople look at him, he sees them treating him gently and he thinks, he knows, that something really bad must have led to him losing his memory. of course he assumes its something bad of the level that might happen in a town like this. he lost his family? were they murdered? was it an illness? whatever it is, nobody speaks of them (because they were never in this town!!!) so it must have been bad.

and maul just keeps following him round trying to unravel this mystery and the companionship ends up doing something to him. maybe its a mixture of the hopelessness and boredom that brought him to this place, as well as the companionship. but either way, maul begins to connect with fox, even though fox hasnt the slightest clue who he is, and through this, Maul slowly begins to deal with his own shit. through fox, he can see what palpatine did to people. through fox, he can see it wasnt right, that fox didnt deserve it. and that eventually will lead to him realising that the same thing might apply to him as well.

and a maul without that first wound (once it begins to heal), wouldnt really be the maul we know from canon. where is his motivation to keep killing, to keep everyone away? he's still maul about it. he's still a dick and he's sharp and mean. but he isnt on a rampage anymore.

and thats the story. its a small town, slow story about two men who never really felt like they needed friends, becoming friends. its about these 2 victims of palpatine, finding solace in each other because they both went through the same thing, even though one of them has no idea. its a weird one, but I love it. i'll probably never post it tbh cause its kind of confusing i guess? but its like my ugly child lol i still love it.

its still in first draft format as i never intended to share it, but heres some of it.

thank you for asking!

[quinnscds]

you're spitting facts about leona's so called "fans"

i've been here in twst community for two years and oh my fucking god the things i saw about leona is ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS im not exaggerating

they always described him as "aggressive" "rough" and EVEN a "fuckboy" & "misogynistic"???????????

AND they always associate him having a "breeding kink" or whatever just because he's a beastman.

likeee are we even playing the same game anymore??? 💀

this is why i blocked 99.9% of twst community and not engaging with them because i don't TRUST them to act normal 

i only know two Normal and Sane leona stans here

LORDDD THIS SCARED ME FOR A SEC WHEN I SAW IT IN MY INBOX BUTTT

Ive pretty much been here since the first few months of twst being launched. And with the way the fandom acts ive learnt that I cannot really trust leona stans unless theyre black themselves.

But i cannot blame the fandom to much (even though you guys are in fact in charge of your own opinions and the way you look into characters, especially poc ones. Which ive learnt a lot of you as well do not care or take the time to look into them but god forbid someone gets something on idia wrong (no hate to idia himself. Or his fans he just came to mind.))

And u might ask? Why can't I fully blame people? Because of the writing. Yes, Yana's writing was good at some points, but IN MY OPINION!!!! MY OPINION!! The writing got sloppy after heartslabyul slowly. But Savanaclaw was not written as well as the other chapters. Leonas' story was poorly written, imo it was okay, but there was definitely more that could've been done. Which is why many people dehumanize him, yes he did in fact hurt ruggie in the story (which is a reasonable reason to not like him i suppose?) But i feel like people just use it as an excuse to be an undercover racist (if it doesnt apply, let it fly btw.) But a lot of you hate leona and his fans (mostly cause of heavy mischaracterization in the fandom) then go and defend vil (not all vil fans btw. Like i said doesnt apply let it fly?) Even tho he quite literally almost killed someone as well like? Just a little weird thing in my opinion but you know !!!

But also the way savanaclaw as a whole throws me the hell off as they're shown to be "aggressive" and always ready to fight. Not to mention the fucking outfits for godsake its hot as hell and your telling me theyre wearing leather out there?

[fourtyfourcatss]

୨⎯ "for @toyafreethoughts" ⎯୧

PART 1

[a/n] so in order to make things less clotted, i’m going to be posting in two parts! this has 5 of your matchups, while the other one coming in a few days will have the rest so you dont have to wait so long! (even though you said you can wait, snack on these for a bit!)

BSD ✯ MUSHITARO OGURI !

✯ oh my god the two of you are absolutely horrific to the people around you. x times x is equivalent to x^2 and that applies to your messy chaos together. mushitaro is the silliest man out there while keeping a straight face (always). the relationship is going to be that kind where its so chaotic (mostly because of him) but like, you dont feel that its chaotic. something major would be happening and with his dramatics, you’re kind of not surprised of anything anymore lol. hes a bonafide theatre kid in his soul, jax. he’s definitely going to (fake) faint into your arms or whisper something exceedingly obvious to you aloud whilst he is on another tangent. “hold me jax!” — gets very needy sometimes and he’s not afraid to show it

✯ “youre a genius, jax!” he says as you chime in with your thoughts. he thinks your words are deeply thought provoking sometimes, and might spend a few seconds thinking of a response before responding

✯ at first he’s like, half half being able to read whether or not your words are genuine or sarcastic or whatnot. but he loves reading! he won’t give up on trying to differentiate and understanding the connotations and meanings behind your words, not until he can properly understand what you are trying to express! this creates a lot of tension at first, since he thinks you were subtly poking at him, however, as your bond deepens, he starts to truly understand you as a person. and he wants to see you for you.

✯ he thinks you are very refined in your way of thinking and your actions of consideration. he gets you with the anger — he himself does not have a good temperament when things do not go to plan, but, it is not so bad of a thing. the two of you can work on it together, thats what lovers are for, taking and learning the good parts from your lover and reflecting on oneself. at times like these, he needs to ground himself, holding your hand tightly, fingers intertwined. you’re here with me, right?

✯ he admires you often times. the littlest actions of yours build up so strongly inside his heart, the way you would share your baked goods with your friends and acquaintances, the relationship you have with your family and your culture and dancing. its wonderful, absolutely engaging to his allured mind. while i do not see his extremely active participation, i see his gaze on you. unbearably soft in contrast to his brash outbursts.

✯ he has a very thick face, and doesnt get embarrassed easily. it takes a lot, a lot more than anything you will do to make him embarrassed - especially as a lover and a friend and a person in general. why should he? you’re a kind soul inside; he always knows he can trust that.

✯ sometimes there will be moments of dramatic mood shifts — suddenly the atmosphere’s turning sweet and somber around the two of you. sweet winds from the patio combing through your hair, watching you draw.

JJK ✯ TOJI FUSHIGURO !

✯ toji is… very adamant in accepting your help. this is a very curious development and a first to occur. he’s very taken aback by your emotional maturity during harsh times and your vibrancy after breaking out the shy outer shell! it exposes him to another light of you that he becomes enamored with from the beginning, and deeper down the rabbit hole as time passes. falling out of love? not a thing around here partner. and your upright countenance, always standing for your values and your loves, and it just squeezes his heart - because he knows and he doesnt know how that feels. in the zenin clan, there’s always an oppressing hand, a choking grasp, and he couldnt fight back until later onwards - yet all the same, he would forget his ways from time to time. you are like the moon reflecting the sun’s light, the closest celestial body to earth, reining him in like waves, a constant he realizes after being with you has made him hope again. you won’t leave, he knows you will not.

✯ you always somehow brighten up his day immensely with your actions and remarks, big and small. and by immensely, i mean you pull this man out of depression with your realism, yet unending strive to look forward. seeing you pack lunches for megumi and tsumiki, your compassion for other human beings. you’re an amazing catalyst and source of motivation for him to better himself.

✯ you know how some guys want to show off to the people they like? he does this whenever he can. toji is the type of man who knows hes attractive to others, but does not particularly think he is attractive to himself. he has neutral feelings about it. but, he enjoys caging you in his presence. your energy makes him want to stay close to you, and thats what he does. he really, really likes your hugs, i dont know why i think so but i feel like he would just love hugging you as you draw or read or game. a sleepy toji on your shoulder. but he knows you feel very uncomfortable with hugs — so arm links while holding hands is enough! if you can, use him as your muse for drawing! or perhaps a model. he would feel very flattered either way. you surprise him a lot with the combination of actions and things you say, and seeing his widened eyes is a common sight! he loves your lap too.

✯ not only that, he’s definitely the type to pull you in by the belt loops for a kiss! you get surprised in the summer with your favorite soft drinks being suddenly placed on your nape, and you look back to see him, lightly smiling and handing you what little things he may get you. toji is a very frugal man, so except for anniversaries, gifts are very simple but effective! power couple fr

DR1 ✯ MONDO OWADA!

✯ absolutely NOBODY expected the two of you to get together - not even the two of you yourselves. it’s been some time since ive played DR1, so excuse me for any mayhaps!

✯ a surmountable part of mondo’s character is that he is a man of honor, someone who is blazing inside with passion that is tilted so easily off the scale, someone who can reach out to you first and get you comfortable. you balance him out devastatingly well, keeping his unique traits and outstanding qualities, and toning down his temperament. your relationship with him is so gentle, he tries so hard to be tender with you. that’s because of your own characteristics, he feels deeply and connects with your own set of values. i can tell you are a sensible person who loves the people around you, and with what you’ve said about gratitude, mondo falls for you because of that first, and then everything next. you make him feel hyped up for things, and you make him see reason when he gets too heated under the collar. you make him feel like himself. you genuinely better him with your compassion - humbling him internally and helping him overcome his weakness. the two of you are so cute when you first meet! both of you are shy in your own ways, which is outputted on different ways too.

✯ he’s amazing at all sports, and definitely shows off while hes on the field. mans probably pointing and saying “this is for jax!” to the audiences. silly man has silly wants and needs.

✯ what he loves receiving from you is your words and your thoughts. your moods of deep contemplation fascinates him greatly, and he listens to everything you have to say like the apostle of a deity. many times i see him asking you for some advice and comfort, since he trusts your judgement.

✯ you have a free biker gang completely protecting you now. absolutely safe from everything in that territory, they treat you like a prince! and he treats you like a king. he definitely likes doing the princess carry on you, and riding his bike through the city with you at his back. the latter will definitely take some time to build up to due to the trauma he has received - he doesnt want to lose another person to a traffic accident - no. but, slowly, he learns to trust himself again, and drives very safe!

✯ the two of you share airbuds to listen to whatever you want! he has an adoration to you enough that he can tolerate almost anything - play thought vocaloid songs and those k/j-pop songs! he’ll find enjoyment with you, and thus enjoyment in that too. happiness is associated with you, growth is associated with you. he thinks he can go anywhere as long as he has you near him.

GORO AKECHI ✯ P5 !

✯ bro really thought romance couldnt catch up to him, but he is dead wrong. you are here and ready to steal his cold little heart.

✯ the two of you have a little sort of one-upping rivalry at first. it was never that serious with you, but he made it serious, he took it as a challenge and then the other phantom thieves fanned it, and it escalated. cue rivals to lovers! now that im thinking about it, you have a very particular taste in men, mostly the ones who people would usually keep away from association in real life if they were here.

✯ you are a miracle worker opening him up to his vulnerabilities. he absolutely loathes you for that, and he loathes how hardworking you are or how you smile or — everything he likes about you he also hates — but he cannot escape that little part of him that absolutely loves being seen and acknowledged. your independence is something he understands well, but in your case it seems to be natural, not nurtured like him, who was forced to be independent and never having a shoulder to lean on. he hides his exterior with this shell, but he’s so gooey and soft like an amazing chocolate chip cookie on the inside.

✯ he definitely is intrigued by you. he has to remark your music taste is not bad, however he will always prefer jazz. your inclination towards instruments though? that he is most interested in. what instruments do you play? may he come over sometime to hear your playing? your dancing too - dont be surprised when you spot a tuff of light brown hair if you perform, be it for any type of events. he’s a detective! he says in order to deter saejima’s teasing, he is a curious soul, just like you. thats why, he wants to know everything, and understand everything. it’s impossible to understand everything about a human being though, and there are many traits he must dash before he can truly enter a healthy relationship with you. you have time, but it is ticking closer and closer to the days where the consequences of his actions will catch up to him. nobody can ever take back what they have already done — but he trusts in your heart, and knows you will be waiting for him. do not worry though, it will not be a long wait.

✯ he spoils you rotten (those extra checks finally comes to show it’s face) and when you start piling little pieces your things into his apartment, he starts to really roll under this thing called love. forgetting your sweater or perhaps an earring or accessory when you visit, and he gets hit with a pang of his heart whenever he smells the scent you use for your laundry or the shampoo when he gets close to you.

✯ as a thief, he’s also very good with his hands. he partakes in your hobbies with you actively, especially pottery and puppetry. someone will make some mini puppets of you and him, and he would blush when he puts the lips of the puppets together lol. he’s cute and weird in love. he’s always looking and observing and etching your movements into his eyelids, boisterous but not sharp words. like sitting in a quiet cafe together, just the two of you.

KNY ✯ ENMU!

✯ for this one i the one caught off guard. enmu? it really secured down to me what type you have when it comes to men. here’s the thing: i have no confidence writing enmu whatsoever, but i’ll try my best anyways and see how it works!

✯ enmu is a very indulgent lover. for a demon who eats humans, he sure knows how to treat his human lover well - like many other human demon romances, it starts because of his curiosity in the human race with their behaviors and emotions. i think with you, he started with the intention of having you as a lover after meeting you mistakingly while on a quiet night out.

✯ he particularly enjoys the traits you have that he does not — the idiosyncrasies between the two of you often endearing him. he is a horrible person inside and out with his tendencies and his characteristics, to not sugarcoat, but all the same, enmu can definitely appreciate what is in front of him. you. he definitely enjoys getting a rise out of you to hear the way your voice sounds, and watching some of your reluctance but still indulging attitude has him smiling! won’t you kiss him goodnight too?

✯ absolutely adores your hobbies. music, dancing, filmmaking, creative arts. whenever you do such things, he snaps out of whatever reverie he had, your grounding presence keeping him inside reality. do you sing too? he reckons you have an amazing voice that’s begging to be heard — either you yourself does not know, or think otherwise. he’s a very clingy lover, so once he takes your hands, he won’t let go until you have to >_< lots and lots of pecks everywhere. he loves dotting your face with little kisses and watching you shut your eyes. he could kill you after this project, but, he’s thinking for this, he can make an exception

✯ ah but he’s definitely taken a more keener interest on the mandela catalog and the scp foundation. sweep him away with your knowledge! no matter how far the horror deepens, he’s always had an amazing tolerance for the grotesque and the arbitrary.

[impending-day]

Why Three Legged Dog by The Bengsons is a DL!Pearl song, an essay

hello, people of tumblr. i propose to you this.

i will be touching on the following points throughout this essay:

the dog metaphor

the dependency of another person

various other lyricism examples

the vocal quality

1. The Dog

if you cant tell, this song is called three legged dog. the singer, abigail, talks about being a dog caught in a trap (could be interpreted as the life series, or the specific soulmate aspect. more on that later). there isnt much more to it. shes a dog caught in a trap, and shes gonna chew off her foot to get free.

2. The Trap

her soulmate, scott, left her. and she never got over it, no matter how hard she wanted to, thanks to the soulmate mechanic. she was left hurt and stranded, forced to make do with the situation she found herself in.

now for some lyrics:

When we met, I broke in pieces And half of me went into you When you go, my shards will scatter Half of me is dying too

this is peak double life pearl. absolute peak double life pearl. she lost part of herself seeing scott and cleo team. she actively hurt herself, just so scott would hurt too. but in that, the same applies. when scott gets hurt, so does she.

I'm supposed to just keep walking I'm supposed to just move on No, I can't breathe without him l'll be nothing, yeah, I'1l be nothing yeah Oh when he's gone, when he's gone

she makes it her mission to mess with scott. she practically goes insane messing with scott. shes stuck like glue to him, even when he kept brushing her off for someone else.

l'Il be a pile of salt I'll be a river of salt

same as before: she doesnt get over his betrayal. at all. she holds that grudge- she holds lots of grudges- until the end of the line.

3. Other Lyrics

if im being honest, for these i dont have reasons. take them as they are. they fit.

I'm a dog in a trap I'm gonna chew off my foot And leave it behind Leave it behind in the ashes and in the soot

kinda fitting. you see it right.

I can't do it anymore I'm not strong enough for this I never, I never said that I could Well I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I Can't I can't I can't I can't I'm sorry

more on this in the fourth section.

I could leave this pain, I could leave this pain behind I could leave this behind Erase, erase my mind, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rip my flesh I'm gonna, I'm gonna set myself Free! Free...

4. The Delivery

abigail is an incredibly talented vocalist. the track begins with her singing in a rather reserved way, but once she starts talking about the pain of the trap, the intensity picks up.

i would love to note the delivery of "i'd be a three legged dog." she says it three times in a row, and each has its own emotion. the first is ruefully factual, the second is the weight settling in, the third is cracking under the pressure.

and then comes the "i can't do it anymore" lines. theyre delivered in a way where you can hear the pain shes going through. its almost difficult to listen to because of how raw they are. they only get more unhinged when the other party is mentioned, such as the "half of me is dying, too" line.

she sounds desperate to "leave this pain behind," especially in the "erase, erase my mind" line (one of my favorites). and once she does, theres a moment of pause. the acknowledgement that she set herself free in one way, but part of her remains stuck.

thus, the "i'm supposed to just keep walking" lines, all the way to the end. shes still so bitter to the person who did this to her. she laments becoming a three legged dog, though it gave her freedom.

overall, one of my favorite vocal performances of all time.

and with that, my essay concludes. thank you for reading 🫡