#dont know if it would work the way i want

[bellaveux]

hihihihi ur one of my favvv writers and i just wanna request a fic with nat and fem reader where reader doesnt know what overstimulating someone during it is and asks nat what it is and nat demonstrates to reader until she passes out. u dont have to write it if ur uncomfrotblr

JUST ONE MORE | n. romanoff x fem!reader

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary: natasha gets distracted from her work and refuses to pay attention to anything else but you.

content warnings: 18+ minors dni. smut; top!natasha, bottom!reader, inexperienced!reader kind of, lots of teasing, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r!receiving), heavy overstimulation, squirting, nat is pretty soft/and in love with reader

word count: 6.3k

Natasha remembered the day she bought this apartment, the weight of the key cool and solid in her hand as she stood in the empty, sunlit space, imagining what it would look like with you in it. It was a while ago now, but she could still recall the nervousness that buzzed under her skin when she’d asked you to move in with her. The apartment was perfect—spacious, private, tucked away in a quiet corner of the city where the both of you could breathe and just… be. It was the first place that had felt like hers in a long time, away from all those safe houses, not wanting to be moving around constantly, but from the moment you said yes, it belonged to the both of you.

Over time, the apartment transformed in small, meaningful ways. A coffee mug you had picked out sat by the sink, a stack of your favorite books now lined up on the living room shelves, and your soft blankets were draped over the back of the couch. Natasha found herself noticing these small changes—the faint scent of your perfume lingering in the air, the framed photographs on the walls she always took of you, some you’ve taken of her—and each one made the space feel more like home. Yet no matter how many pieces of you filled the apartment, it never felt like enough. She always wanted more—more of you, more of the softness you brought into her life. God, she would do anything for you.

You sat curled on the couch just a few feet away, the hum of the TV filling the otherwise silent room. Your legs were tucked beneath you, a slight smile playing on your lips as you watched some old movie. Natasha sat at the dining room table, an open area right by the living room where you were watching, the dim glow of her laptop casting soft shadows across her face as she thumbed through a stack of confidential files. She glanced over the top of her files every now and then, her sharp green eyes flickering from the text to her laptop, then to you. Each time she stole a glance, she noticed the same thing—the faint, almost imperceptible blush that dusted your cheeks. 

The warmth in your face was unmistakable, soft and endearing, and it tugged at something deep in Natasha, something she couldn’t ignore. The way your cheeks flushed when you knew she was looking, the way you pretended to be engrossed in the screen but kept glancing at her out of the corner of your eye—it was subtle, but to Natasha, it was clear. She could see everything—she always sees everything. It was what she was good at.

She let out a small sigh, her attention drifting more towards you than the files in front of her. Her eyes lingered on you as you pretended to pay attention to whatever was playing on the TV, the soft glow from the screen highlighting the delicate blush blooming across your cheeks. The way your lips parted slightly, your breath catching every now and then as you tried to focus on the movie. You were trying to act composed, but you were failing miserably.

Natasha shifted her gaze, observing you more closely. Your thighs were pressed together, your movements subtle but telling, a slow, restless rubbing as though you couldn’t quite sit still. And then it clicked. It wasn’t just her attention that was making you flustered.

A faint smirk tugged at the corner of Natasha’s lips as realization settled in. You were horny.

She had seen you like this many times before—innocent, yet not. She absolutely loved seeing you like this. It turned her on to see you like this. In fact, she memorized this look. Natasha’s eyes darkened with amusement and desire, watching as you shifted again, your thighs tightening against one another. There was something achingly sweet about it, how you didn’t fully realize how obvious your need had become.

She could often get so lost in her daydreams when she would look at you like this. In fact, she can’t even seem to focus on anything in the room except you anymore—the files on her desk, now closed, tossed and forgotten. She’d imagine all the things she’d do to you, all those dirty things she fantasizes about—that innocent look in your eyes when you’d look up at her, how soft your thighs are, how she’d never get tired of using her hands to spread your legs apart just for her to see, to dive into. The merest thought of your soft, wet pussy filling her mind was enough to make her groan, eyes and head rolling back as she thought of you.

“Natasha?” She heard you say, your voice soft and curious.

Her eyes fluttered open, her green orbs meeting yours as she slowly took a deep breath. You don’t miss the way her eyes rake up and down your body, stopping for a moment where your short, lace-trimmed night dress meets the curve of your ass, almost inviting her to come closer.

Distracted now, Natasha let out a quiet breath, the focus she once had on the files completely evaporating. She tossed one of the documents across the dining table, its pages fanning out as it slid to the edge. Her eyes were locked on you, her mind already far from the contents of the reports. She leaned back in her chair, her gaze intense yet soft as she watched you shift on the couch, still blushing, still subtly squirming. The sight sent a warm wave through her, a tug of affection laced with something deeper, more primal. Feral.

“Detka,” she said, her words coming out lowly and seductively. “Come here.”

And you don’t waste another second. Your reaction was instant. Your body tensed for a brief moment, your wide, innocent eyes flickering toward Natasha. But there was no hesitation. You stood almost immediately, your movements a little shy, but your legs carrying you forward with purpose, as if Natasha’s words had lit something inside you that you couldn’t resist. The soft padding of your feet on the hardwood floor was the only sound in the room now, the TV’s noise fading into the background. As you approached, Natasha’s eyes trailed over you, taking in the way your body moved, how your tits bounced slightly underneath that thin night dress you were wearing. Fuck.

You stopped just in front of Natasha, your fingers twitching slightly at your sides, eyes downcast for a moment before meeting her gaze, that blush still painting your cheeks. Natasha’s lips curved into a slow, knowing smile, her fingers gently reaching out to graze your wrist, pulling you just a little closer. Her smirk deepened, the corners of her lips curling into something soft yet undeniably confident. Her fingers, firm yet gentle, wrapped around your wrist, drawing you closer with a slow pull. Your breath hitched as you stood right before Natasha now, close enough to feel the warmth radiating between the two of you. Her other hand moved with easy grace, patting her lap with a quiet command.

“Sit,” she murmured, her voice low and smooth, eyes never leaving yours.

There was a flicker of hesitation in your gaze. You shifted slightly on your feet, your eyes darting down to Natasha’s lap before meeting her gaze again, wide-eyed and flushed. Her smirk softened, her thumb brushing lightly against your skin, coaxing you forward.

You hesitated, your breath catching in your throat as your fingers lightly grazed Natasha’s shoulders. Your cheeks were flushed, your eyes wide with nervousness and need as you slowly, shyly brought one leg over her lap. It was a tentative movement, careful and deliberate, as if you were testing the waters, her knee grazing against Natasha’s thigh before you fully straddled her. Once she settled onto her lap, your heart raced, your body warm and squirming. The way your bodies fit together, made your breath come quicker, your chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven movements. You glanced up, your eyes flickering with uncertainty, but before you could overthink it, Natasha’s arms were around your waist.

Her gaze locked onto yours, her smirk fading into something deeper, her green eyes dark and soft, before moving closer to you.

Your breath hitched as Natasha’s lips found the soft curve of your neck, brushing against your skin with the lightest, most teasing touch. The warmth of her breath sent a shiver coursing through your body, and you instinctively leaned into Natasha, your hands resting on Natasha’s shoulders, fingers trembling slightly as you tried to hold yourself steady.

“You’re so pretty, milaya,” Natasha whispered, her voice low and husky, the words spilling over your skin like honey.

The way she said it—so softly, so sincerely—made your cheeks flush even deeper, your heart stuttering in your chest. Your eyes fluttered shut, your pulse quickening as her lips lingered at your neck, the feeling of being so desired, so cherished, washing over you in waves. Natasha’s hands traced gentle patterns along your back, holding you close as if she couldn’t bear to let go, the words still hanging in the air. Her kisses were slow, wet and unhurried, savoring the warmth of your skin, the quiet little sounds you made in response. But then your voice, soft and teasing, broke through the haze of desire.

“Shouldn’t you be working, Nat?” You murmured, your breath hitching slightly as Natasha’s mouth lingered just below your ear.

She froze for a fraction of a second, her lips still pressed against your neck, her mind trying to process the words through the fog of distraction. The files—yes, the ones she’d tossed aside with no real intention of returning to.

She barely pulled her mouth from your skin, her hands still tracing soft, absentminded patterns along your back as she muttered, “Yeah,” in a voice that held none of the focus she needed for that answer.

But even as the word left her mouth, Natasha made no move to return to the work she’d been so intent on earlier. Her lips found yours, kissing you just a little deeper, her hold on your waist tightening as though there was no part of her that truly cared about the files scattered on the table anymore. Her tongue immediately entered your mouth, exploring every corner. Work could wait—right now, all she wanted was you.

You pulled back slightly, your breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps, and your chest rose and fell quickly as you tried to catch your breath.

“N-Natasha—” you managed, your voice shaky, eyes wide and dark with need, yet laced with a hint of restraint, as though you were trying to gather your thoughts, to form some semblance of control.

But Natasha wasn’t giving you any space for that.

Her arms still held you firmly in her lap, hands playing with the hem of that short, black night dress you had on, fingers dancing along the line of your lace underwear, and her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. Natasha’s lips curled into a knowing smirk, her voice low and husky as she leaned in just enough to close the distance again.

“I was watching you…” she began, her words soft, almost a purr against your lips. Her hands moved slowly, deliberately, under your dress, tracing the curve of your waist, drawing you back in as she stared at your lips. “I can tell, detka. I can tell when you want me.”

There was an edge of amusement that teased at the corners of her smile, but beneath it was an undeniable truth. Natasha’s gaze roamed over your flushed face, your dilated eyes, the way you shifted in her lap, restless and needy. She could feel your pulse racing under her fingertips, could hear the way you sighed against her.

“I always want you,” you whispered back, your voice barely above a breath, almost shy in its confession.

For a moment, her breath steadied against your neck. She let out another quiet, ragged breath, then shifted slightly, her lips brushing lightly against your shoulder. A slow smirk crept across Natasha’s face, one that you couldn’t see but could definitely feel.

“That’s my girl,” she murmured, her voice low and rough, almost a growl against your skin.

Natasha’s forehead dropped gently onto your shoulder, her body pressing closer, almost as if she needed to ground herself in the moment. Her hands tightened instinctively around your hips, fingers digging just a little deeper as she held you, squeezing as though she was trying to keep herself from completely losing control. For a moment, Natasha just breathed, her face buried in the curve of your neck, feeling the warmth of your skin, the pulse beating beneath it, and the way your body fit perfectly against her own.

She instinctively pressed closer, your hands slipping from Natasha’s shoulders to rest on her chest, feeling the steady beat of her heart beneath your fingertips. Natasha could feel the way your body responded to her, how much you wanted her, needed her.

Your girlfriend’s mind was already clouded, her focus narrowing down to the warmth of your body pressed against her, the way your hips fit perfectly in her hands, the quiet, desperate little breaths you let out. She wasn’t thinking about anything else, not the scattered files she had to look over, not the day’s work she had abandoned—just you.

Her voice dropped even lower, to a huskier murmur, the words slipping out before she could even stop them. “Wanna make you feel good…”

Her fingers moved on their own then, sliding slowly, deliberately beneath the hem of your short, black night dress. The fabric was soft, cool against her fingertips, but the heat radiating from your body drew her in like a magnet. Natasha’s smirk faded into something more focused, more intent, as her fingers grazed the edge of your laced panties. She paused there for just a moment, feeling the way your body tensed slightly, a soft, shaky exhale escaping your lips.

When Natasha’s fingers finally dipped lower, pressing against the delicate lace, she could feel just how wet you already were. She let a low, quiet groan slipping past her lips as she teased her fingers over the damp fabric. She didn’t rush—Natasha was never in a hurry when it came to you. Instead, she moved with agonizing slowness, her fingers tracing light patterns over the lace, applying just enough pressure to make you squirm in her lap.

Natasha’s eyes darkened with every little movement, every small, breathless sound you made. She could feel the tension coiling inside you. Her free hand slid up your back, pulling you in closer, grounding you as she continued to tease, the lace now soaked with the evidence of your need.

“Feel good, baby?”

“M-Mhm…” You hummed out.

Natasha pulled her head back just enough to look at you, watching as you nod your head, her fingers still teasing beneath the hem of your dress, but her attention had shifted entirely to the way you responded to her. She studied you for a moment, her green eyes dark and heavy-lidded, drinking in every little detail—the way your cheeks flushed deeply and irresistibly, the way your breath hitched, the slight tremble in your hands as they rested on Natasha’s chest. You always grew shy under her gaze, and Natasha knew exactly why.

She was naturally flirtatious, a little playful, and she loved watching you get flustered, even though you never seemed to know how to handle it. Right now, under Natasha’s intense stare, you shifted slightly, your eyes darting away for a second before you tried to meet Natasha’s again, your lips parting just a little.

“W-What?” You stammered, your voice soft, unsure.

Natasha’s smirk grew wider, more mischievous. She leaned in just a bit, her fingers never stopping their slow, torturous movements over past your soaked panties.

“I’m just thinking…” She said, her voice dropping to that low, almost teasing tone she always used when she had you exactly where she wanted you. “Thinking about what I want to do to you.”

You swallowed hard, your eyes widening just a bit. “What… do you wanna do?” You asked, barely above a whisper, already feeling your pulse quicken at the way she was looking at you, like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

“I think…” Natasha paused for effect, her smirk deepening as she watched your growing nervousness. “I think I wanna overstimulate you.”

“O-Overstimulate me?” You repeated, your voice uncertain, as though you were trying to grasp what your girlfriend meant.

The innocence in your tone, the fact that you didn’t quite understand, only made Natasha’s desire grow stronger. She let out a soft, amused breath, her smile turning softer, more affectionate, as she realized just how innocent you still were sometimes in moments like this.

“Yeah,” she whispered, her voice gentling as she brushed her thumb over your hip. She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw before pulling back just enough to meet your eyes again, the smile still playing on her lips. “You don’t know what that means, do you?”

You shook your head lightly, your lips parting as if to say something but no words came out. Your girlfriend let out a quiet, indulgent chuckle, pulling you closer, her fingers teasing your folds so, so softly past the lacy fabric of your panties.

Before dating Natasha, you weren’t all that experienced when it came to sex. Sure, you had been in relationships before, but none of them had ever ventured into the kind of passion and intensity you found with Natasha. It wasn’t that you were naïve—you understood the mechanics of desire—but with Natasha, everything was different. She was confident, naturally sensual in a way that left you breathless, and she had a sex drive that matched her intensity in every other part of her life. From the beginning, she had taken her time with you, teaching you in ways that were equal parts gentle and overwhelming. The way Natasha touched you, the way she guided you, wasn’t just physical—it was emotional, intimate, like she was slowly unraveling all of your inhibitions and fears. With every kiss, every whispered word, every lingering touch, Natasha had shown you how to let go, how to trust your body, and how to embrace your own pleasure without hesitation.

“It means I’m going to make you feel so good,” Natasha murmured, her lips ghosting over your ear, voice low, almost a whisper, laced with the promise of everything she was about to do, “Over and over again, until you can’t take it anymore. And even then, I won’t stop…”

Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes widening just slightly as you stared at Natasha, speechless. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, the heat between you making it hard to think, hard to breathe. But even as your mind raced, you couldn’t focus on anything but the way Natasha’s fingers felt, teasing lightly under your soaked panties, sending shivers through your entire body. The sensation was overwhelming, and you were completely lost in it, your lips parting as if to say something, but no words were coming out.

Natasha’s smirk grew wider, watching the way your gaze flickered with both uncertainty and desire. After a moment, she tilted her head slightly, her eyes darkening as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your skin. Her voice, already deep, dropped even lower, taking on a huskier tone that sent a pulse of need straight to your pussy.

“Would you let me do that to you, detka?” Natasha asked, her words slow, deliberate, and filled with intent.

You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening even more at the sound of Natasha’s voice. Your mind was spinning, but all you could feel was Natasha—her fingers, her gaze, the heat radiating from her body. You almost couldn’t form a coherent thought, couldn’t find the words to answer, but your body answered for you as you instinctively pressed closer to Natasha, your lips trembling as your eyes flicked up to meet hers again, completely and utterly captivated.

Natasha's eyes darkened as she felt you grind harder against her fingers, your body responding to every teasing touch. But she wasn’t satisfied with just the physical reaction; she needed more. Her free hand gently cupped your chin, tilting your head up so your eyes met.

“I need to hear you say it, baby,” Natasha urged, her voice low but insistent, a hint of a growl underneath the softness. Her thumb brushed against your trembling lips, waiting for the words.

Your mind was a blur, lost in the heat of Natasha’s touch, your body moving on instinct, your hips grinding harder against Natasha’s fingers. The pressure building between your legs made it nearly impossible to think. Absentmindedly, you leaned in, your tits pressing against Natasha’s chest, your body seeking more of that intoxicating closeness. Your voice was barely more than a breath as you nodded, your eyes heavy-lidded.

“Yes… yes, please…” The words spilled out, shaky and whiny.

You had given her exactly what she wanted, and now she had no intention of holding back.

Natasha’s smile twisted into something devious, a flicker of dark satisfaction passing through her eyes as she finally pushed two fingers inside you. The heat of your pussy wrapped around her digits instantly, tight and soaked with need.

Your reaction was immediate—a loud, breathless moan that escaped your lips, your body tensing and arching in response to the sudden intrusion. But Natasha was quick, her lips crashing against yours in the same instant, swallowing your moan. She devoured every sound, every shaky breath that you tried to release.

Your hands clung to Natasha’s shoulders, your body grinding instinctively against Natasha’s fingers, searching for more, needing more. Natasha missed you harder, her tongue fighting yours and winning with her fingers curling inside you with deliberate slowness, drawing out every gasp, every shiver of pleasure that ran through you. Each movement was calculated, each kiss more demanding than the last, as if Natasha couldn’t get enough of you, as if tasting your moans wasn’t enough—she needed to feel them, consume them entirely.

Your breath hitched, a desperate whine escaping your lips against your lover’s mouth. “N-Natasha…” you gasped, your voice barely holding together as her body squirmed in her lap.

Natasha pulled back slightly, just enough to take in the sight of you—flushed, trembling, your lips parted as you struggled to catch her breath. Without missing a beat, she fucked you harder, fingers plunging deeper, her pace quickening, pushing harder into your pussy. Her grip on your waist tightened, pulling you down harder onto her fingers. Natasha’s smirk returned, but this time it was darker, more possessive. God, you were driving her crazy.

“Let me hear you, detka,” Natasha growled lowly, her voice rough with desire, her fingers moving faster now, harder, as she watched your body react to every thrust. Each time you gasped or whimpered, Natasha’s lips hovered just above yours, teasing but not quite kissing, as if she wanted you to beg for it, to give yourself completely over to her.

Your head fell back, your hands gripping Natasha’s shoulders tightly as the pleasure kept building and building, your moans louder, more frantic, barely able to form words. Her eyes never left your face, smiling mischievously as she felt you fall apart in her lap.

As her thumb pressed against your clit, your body tensed all at once, at every curl of Natasha’s fingers. Your breath came in short, ragged gasps, your hands clutching at Natasha’s shoulders like a lifeline, and then, all at once, it snapped. The orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, crashing over you with such force that you nearly screamed, your body shaking uncontrollably.

It was overwhelming—your muscles tightening, your hips jerking against Natasha’s hand as you rode her fingers, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your vision blurred, your head spinning as the sensation ripped through you, leaving you breathless and completely undone. You felt yourself soaking Natasha’s lap, the wetness spreading between your thighs as your release came in a hot, overwhelming rush, slick and uncontrollable.

Natasha didn’t stop.

If anything, she pressed harder, her fingers curling deeper, dragging out every last bit of your pleasure as your body shuddered and jerked against her. You could barely think, could barely breathe through the intensity of it, your moans breaking apart into desperate, breathless gasps as the orgasm continued to pulse through you. Natasha’s eyes darkened with something primal, her fingers still working inside you as she watched you completely fall apart all over again.

And when you finally collapsed against her, trembling and soaked, Natasha exhaled a single word, her voice rough with surprise and raw desire, “Fuck.”

She hadn’t expected your first orgasm to hit this hard, hadn’t expected you to be this wet, this desperate. It stirred something deep inside Natasha, something that made her want to pull you even closer, to keep going, to claim you again and again until you were nothing but a trembling, soaked mess in her arms.

“Another one, baby,” Natasha murmured, her voice thick with desire as she pressed her fingers to your swollen, sensitive clit, rubbing in slow but rough, deliberate circles. At the same time, she started pumping her fingers inside you again, this time with a rhythm that was familiar and demanding, knowing exactly how to push you to the edge once more.

Your breath hitched, your body still trembling from the aftershocks of your orgasm, but the new pressure on your clit sent another wave of pleasure rushing through you. You let out a broken whine, your body reacting instantly to Natasha’s touch, your hips moving on instinct as Natasha’s fingers slipped deeper inside you.

Your mind was blank except for the overwhelming heat and pressure building inside you again. You clutched at her, your nails digging into her shoulders as you struggled to catch your breath, every thrust of Natasha’s fingers sending her closer and closer to the edge.

“N-Natasha, I-I’m—“

It didn’t take long. Natasha’s fingers inside her and the teasing circles on her clit sent you crashing into another orgasm, harder and faster this time. Your whole body arched against Natasha, your moans desperate and broken as your pussy clenched tight around Natasha’s fingers. You came again with a soft cry, the wetness spilling over her hand, dripping down your thighs and soaking her lap all over again.

Natasha’s fingers were still moving, sending you directly into another orgasm as you whined and shuddered in her arms, your entire body trembling with the aftershocks. Your forehead fell against Natasha’s shoulder, your gasps of breath hot against her skin, your body still jerking with the overwhelming pleasure Natasha had coaxed out of you for the second time.

She made you come on her fingers a third time soon after, then a fourth… a fifth… seven? You lost count.

Your body was trembling uncontrollably as you reached another orgasm, your thighs quivering against Natasha's lap, your head spinning with the overwhelming intensity of it all. You gasped, your breathing ragged, your entire body shuddering as Natasha's fingers kept moving inside you, dragging out every last pulse of your release.

With her free hand, Natasha gently cupped your face, her thumb brushing tenderly across your cheek, wiping away your tears carefully.

“You’re doing so good for me, detka,” she whispered, her voice low and sweet. Her lips grazed the side of your face, barely a kiss, just enough to soothe. “You’re so beautiful when you come for me.”

Your eyes fluttered closed, your body aching with pleasure as her words washed over you. Your breath hitched, tears still slipping from your eyes as Natasha’s thumb continued to tenderly wipe them away, whispering soft nothings against your skin.

Natasha’s lips curled into a soft smile as she kissed your lips tenderly, her hands sliding around your waist, holding her close. Without breaking the kiss, she stood from the chair in front of the dining table, effortlessly lifting you in her arms as if you weighed nothing. You let out a quiet gasp, your hands clutching at Natasha’s shoulders, but you didn’t protest. She laid you down gently behind you, your body stretching across the table, legs naturally falling open to make room for Natasha between them.

Your head rested just beside the clutter of files and Natasha’s open laptop. She glanced at the papers for a brief second, her focus shifting from the work that had once consumed her to the woman now lying beneath her. Absentmindedly, she pushed the files and the laptop aside, not caring as they scattered across the floor. Natasha kissed you again, deeper this time, her hand brushing against your cheek, the other trailing down to your hip. Soon, she began trailing soft kisses along your jaw, down to the curve of your neck, down to your breasts.

When Natasha’s lips finally closed around your nipple, you let out a quiet gasp. She sucked gently, her tongue flicking over the sensitive skin, savoring the way your hands instinctively reached for her, fingers threading through the fiery strands of red hair. Her lips left no part of your skin untouched as she kissed lower, her mouth tracing a slow path down her stomach.

Your body trembled beneath her, the dining table cold against your back. But as Natasha’s mouth ventured lower, brushing just above the waistband of your lace panties, her fingers tugging them down your legs slowly. Your grip tightened in Natasha’s hair, and a soft flush crept over your cheeks. Natasha paused for just a moment, her lips ghosting over your lower stomach, her hands caressing the sides of your thighs. She glanced up, her green eyes filled with tenderness, as if silently asking for permission to continue. Your breath caught in your throat, and you bit your lip, nodding your head softly and hesitantly.

Without warning, Natasha shifted, her hands gripping your thighs with a firm, possessive hold. She dove between your legs, her mouth immediately finding the soft, wet heat of your pussy. Natasha’s tongue worked fast, flicking and slurping with a skill and hunger that took you by complete surprise. Your jaw dropped, a loud moan escaping your lips as your body reacted instantly, back arching off the table. Natasha’s mouth was relentless. Your legs trembled as they instinctively tried to close, only for her to hold them wide open, refusing to let you pull away.

Your hands flew to her hair, fingers gripping tightly, tugging on her hair as your moans grew louder. More desperate. You were helpless against Natasha’s tongue, her hips jerking involuntarily as she devoured you, the wet sounds of her slurping filling the room. Her lips sealed over your clit, sucking hard before sliding her tongue deeper, tasting you fully.

“W-Wait, I—“ You whined. 

Natasha hummed softly, the vibrations sending you spiraling, your legs trembling even harder as you writhed on the table, completely at your girlfriend’s mercy.

Another orgasm tore through you, wave after wave of intense pleasure crashing over you as you came hard against Natasha’s mouth. Your back arched off the table, your moans loud and desperate, your fingers still tangled in her hair, pulling almost too hard. But Natasha didn’t slow down. In fact, she only pressed closer, her tongue continuing to work, relentless and determined.

The overstimulation hit hard, your body jerking uncontrollably beneath Natasha’s hold, your thighs trembling against her head. Your hands shook, the pleasure bordering on too much, too intense. But Natasha wasn’t stopping—she was taking you deeper into it, making you feel every ounce of pleasure coursing through your body. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes.

Your body convulsed as you came all over again, your hips bucking uncontrollably against Natasha’s face. You moaned helplessly, your voice cracking, but the pleasure quickly turned to something almost unbearable as Natasha kept going, her tongue still flicking and licking your folds.

“I can’t… I can’t…” You whimpered, your voice a fragile plea, breathless and broken. Your hands weakly reached down, fingers trembling as you tried to push Natasha’s head away, your body too sensitive, too overwhelmed.

But Natasha wasn’t ready to let go just yet. With a gentle but firm grip, she caught your wrists, pinning them softly to the table by your hips, simultaneously keeping your legs open for her.

“Shh, baby,” Natasha whispered against your soaked skin, her voice low and thick with hunger. Her breath brushed over your sensitive folds, making your body jolt with the slightest movement. Natasha’s lips pressed tender, teasing kisses along your pussy, and she began whispering softly, her voice laced with praise and adoration.

“Just one more,” Natasha murmured, her lips grazing your clit, sending a shiver through your overstimulated body. “You’ve been so good for me… I just need one more, baby. Can you do that for me? Please, detka... I know you can.”

Tears ran down your face, the pleasure too much for you to bear. The overwhelming sensitivity made you feel like you were teetering on the edge of something too intense, but Natasha’s soft, pleading words kept pulling you back in.

“One more,” she whispered, her tongue flicking softly again, barely grazing your clit as she held you open. “My beautiful girl… You’re so perfect, you’re doing so well...”

Your body trembled uncontrollably, your head lolling back against the table as Natasha’s mouth worked you over once more. Your breath was ragged as you whimpered beneath her touch. You could barely form words, your voice a soft, broken murmur.

“T-too much…” you muttered, your eyes half-lidded, on the brink of passing out from the sheer overload of pleasure. But despite the exhaustion weighing on you, you didn’t stop Natasha—didn’t pull away. There was a part of you that wanted to push through, that believed you could handle just one last wave, just one more time.

And Natasha sensed it—the surrender, the way your body gave in completely to her. Natasha’s lips curved into a hungry smirk as she kissed you deeper, her tongue flicking and swirling in ways that made your entire body quake. She was relentless now, moaning against you, her fingers digging into your trembling thighs, holding you firmly in place as her mouth continued its unyielding work.

Your moans grew louder, turning into a series of broken gasps, your hips jerking wildly as her tongue moved faster, slurping with that same insatiable hunger. Your breaths were shallow, your body arching off the table as you teetered dangerously close to your breaking point.

And then, it hit again—harder than anything you’d felt before.

Your body convulsed violently as she came, and this time, it wasn’t just a release—it was a flood. Your hips bucked uncontrollably as you squirted, a gush of warmth spilling from you, soaking Natasha’s face and the table beneath them. Her mouth stilled for just a second as she pulled back, staring at your pussy in awe, her eyes wide with disbelief, and her chin glistening in your release.

“Oh, fuck…” Natasha whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

Her voice was thick with amazement, her fingers still gripping your thighs as she watched the way your body responded, the way you gushed uncontrollably, your orgasm hitting her like a tidal wave. She reached up with one hand, fingers gently stroking the inside of your thigh as if in reverence, her gaze never leaving your pussy.

“God, look at you,” she whispered, her voice almost worshipful.

But then Natasha’s eyes flicked up, and she saw your face—your head tilted to the side, lips parted, eyes closed. The flush in her cheeks was deep, her body completely limp. For a second, Natasha panicked, her hand gently patting your thigh as she leaned closer.

“(Y/n)?” she whispered, her voice soft with concern.

It took a moment for Natasha to realize—you passed out. Your body still twitched faintly, small aftershocks running through you as the intensity of your final orgasm slowly faded.

For a moment, she just stared, watching your chest rise and fall, your body limp and flushed from the overwhelming pleasure. Her eyes traced every inch of you, from the faint sheen of sweat on your skin to the way your thighs trembled softly. There was something so innocent about the way you looked when you were like this—vulnerable, completely undone, as if you’d given everything to Natasha and trusted her completely.

Natasha felt a small pang of guilt, realizing just how far she had pushed you, how close to your limit she had brought you. But as she took in the sight before her, a slow smile spread across her lips, warm and a little smug. She didn’t regret it, not for a second. The memory of your moans, the way your body had responded so perfectly, how you had given herself over so completely—it was intoxicating.

With a soft smile, Natasha leaned down and pressed one last kiss to your temple before gently pulling away from you to grab a soft towel for your legs, careful not to disturb your rest. She cleaned you up tenderly, wiping between your legs with the utmost care, her touch soft and careful.

As she held you in her arms, carrying you toward the bedroom, Natasha’s mind drifted to tomorrow, already making plans to spoil you. You deserved everything—her love, her care, her gentleness—and she promised herself she’d make up for pushing you so far tonight. She laid you down on your shared bed, tucking you in gently, and made a mental note to shower you with affection, pamper you, and make you feel cherished in every way possible. Because if there was one thing Natasha Romanoff was certain of, it was that she had never been so in love with anyone as she was with you.

And for that, she’d make sure you knew it every single day.

— navigation

[lilacgaby]

title: i've changed, won't you see?

pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader

summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.

tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread

(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)

wc: ~4k

your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.

they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.

"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"

"quirkless don't do anything."

your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"

in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..

once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.

blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.

were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.

but katsuki remembered so much more.

the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?

his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.

he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.

he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?

finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.

you didn't respond to them either.

katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.

he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.

one that wouldn't disappear.

he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?

but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.

your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.

your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.

the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.

you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.

you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.

yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.

he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.

everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.

that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.

with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.

because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.

he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"[name], uh-- this is your work."

you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.

he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,

and he couldn't even apologize.

- - -

U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.

as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.

nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.

katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.

he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.

but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.

he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.

a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.

you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.

he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.

he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.

he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.

"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.

as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.

he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."

he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."

"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"

his heart jumped into his throat.

"uh.. we did."

"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"

"i definitely don't think so."

"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."

"uh-- i--"

"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.

it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.

he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.

he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."

your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.

"i know this is a lot but,

can we be friends?"

he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.

in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.

he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.

"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.

he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.

after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.

"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.

"what makes you ask?"

"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."

she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."

"then i'll take you."

"you don't have t--"

"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."

"i..

okay, okay bakugo."

"katsuki."

you smiled, "katsuki."

going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.

he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.

you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.

he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.

a penthouse.

as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.

you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.

he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."

the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.

"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"

at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"

you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.

"of course i want you to come,

katsuki."

you signed his name differently than other times,

you'd finally made a name for him.

he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.

but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."

"okay, that's good."

"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.

you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.

"sure, okay."

he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.

the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.

he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.

but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.

"'suki. g'morning."

his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."

after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.

"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.

he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."

and he did walk you home, hand in hand.

those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.

he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?

is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?

he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.

he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.

he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.

it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.

on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.

the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.

also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.

you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.

you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.

you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.

what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.

you'd never been so happy.

the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.

the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.

you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.

you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.

the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.

your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.

you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.

you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.

a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.

you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.

"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.

"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.

the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.

your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.

your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.

your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.

"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.

"kats--"

"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.

"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.

i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.

that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.

i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.

not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.

i guess what i'm trying to say is..

sorry, and.. i love you [name].

you don't have to--"

he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.

it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.

"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.

and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.

i really care for you too katsuki."

the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.

your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.

seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.

he thinks he was born to make you happy.

the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.

a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.

"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."

"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."

he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.

he wished he pushed you more.

he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.

you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.

you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.

but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.

you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.

katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.

he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.

why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.

when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..

scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.

it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.

you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?

you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.

after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..

until he saved you from yourself.

you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.

but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.

he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.

you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"

you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.

you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.

little did you know, he was thinking about you too.

the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.

it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.

"can i come in?"

you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.

"katsuki i--"

"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.

"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.

it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."

"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."

"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."

a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.

"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."

he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.

he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.

"wanna take this back to my place?"

he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.

you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.

he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.

he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.

he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.

...

but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.

he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,

and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.

you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.

he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,

with a kiss.

[wwandaslover]

I DONT SMOKE | N.R

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F! Reader

Warnings: lots of angst, smoking, abuse, toxic relationship, legal age gap, R has an unhealthy attachment to N, N has anger issues, love bombing, cheating

Summary: Natasha is a horrible girlfriend, R can’t let her go, they’re in a super toxic relationship.

You never smoked, it was disgusting and you always hated the smell. You had hated it your entire life, until Natasha came along. Natasha smoked a cigarette or two a day, but she bought her own tobacco and tubes for it, she wasn’t going to smoke those disgusting Marlboros or Camels, she’d always smoke her own cigarettes. You would pester her to stop smoking, worried for her health, and Natasha would always chuckle and tell you it was alright.

You fell in love with the smell and taste of cigarettes, the scent of tobacco on Natasha’s leather jacket, the taste of it on Natasha’s tongue when she’d kiss you. The way it mixed with her dark cherry scented perfume was intoxicating, and you fell harder and harder for her every single day. You fell harder every time she hugged you, or kissed you, or laid you down and spread your legs greedily.. the way she could worship your body one moment and choke you the next made you throb with need, you needed Natasha like oxygen. You hated when she was gone, you hated wondering where she was. You hated being alone.

When Natasha was gone, you’d smoke, just to taste her on your tongue and smell her on your clothes. You didn’t care how the cigarette would turn into two, then into three, even into four if Natasha was gone too long. You couldn’t help it, you had gotten addicted to the tobacco burning and the smoke filling your lungs like it had filled Natasha’s. You felt pathetic, you couldn’t go a day without her anymore, you were losing your mind whenever she was gone longer than a day. You wanted to scream every time she was out with Wanda, Carol, or Maria, you had nothing against any of them.. but Natasha was choosing them over you. You wanted to tear them apart with your shaky hands.

When Natasha would come home to you acting needy and following her like a lovesick puppy, she’d get mad. She’d break things, but never you. She’d punch a door or a wall if she was really mad, she would break random trinkets in your shared bedroom and you would sob, begging her to stop ignoring you even if that meant her hurting you. You needed her attention, whether it was her arms wrapped around your trembling frame, or her palm connecting with your cheek. You loved her so dearly, you needed her every moment of the day and all you wanted was for her to feel the same, you wanted her to need you so pathetically.

Natasha arrived home late once again to find you sitting out on the back deck, smoking a cigarette with a pensive expression on your face. Natasha frowned at the sight and opened the glass door to the deck, taking the cigarette from between your fingers and putting it out in the ashtray.

“Detka..” she spoke barely above a whisper, staring at you with concern, worried for your wellbeing. She cupped your cheek gently and a sound of hurt escaped your throat. Natasha’s eyes softened even more and she pulled you into a hug. She hated seeing you in pain, she hated knowing she was the problem. You were such a sweet person, you had a heart of gold and you were so sensitive.

You sobbed against her shoulder, “Why don’t you love me, Nat..?”

Natasha immediately spoke, “I do love you, I love you so much, dorogaya.. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I know I’ve been gone a lot lately. I’m sorry work has been so crazy. I promise I’ll try and spend more time at home with you.”

You sniffled a little and lifted your head from her shoulder, looking her in the eyes. You whispered tepidly, “Are you sure..?”

Natasha nodded, smiling softly. She cupped your cheek, her cold and rough hand against your soft and warm skin. She pressed her lips to yours in a reassuring kiss, making sure to be gentle and slow. You knew you shouldn’t fall for it, Natasha would go back to normal in a few days and you’d get hurt all over again.. but you couldn’t help it. You kissed her back slowly, wrapping your arms around her neck and sighing softly against her lips. Natasha’s hands moved to your hips, holding you possessively and securely as she kissed you. She knew what she was doing, she knew she was hurting you, it wasn’t ever intentional but she couldn’t help it. She knew you’d find out about her cheating on you with Wanda, she knew you were aware of her manipulation and abuse, she knew you would never leave because you were just a needy little girl, barely even an adult. She was in her mid thirties and you were a senior in college. You were weak and Natasha couldn’t help but keep abusing your weakness.

You deepened the kiss, swiping your tongue over Natasha’s lower lip, asking for entrance that Natasha granted. Natasha’s tongue explored your mouth and immediately dominated the kiss, you let her, your soft moans were swallowed by her lips. Without breaking the kiss, Natasha led you inside, both of you kicked your shoes off and dropped your jackets on the floor uncaringly. You both stumbled upstairs to your bedroom and once you got to it, Natasha pushed you against the wall and broke the kiss to take off your shirt and her own. You saw the hickey on her collarbone, you knew it wasn’t from you, but you wouldn’t say anything. Maybe it was just a bruise. She’d never cheat on you, she loved you.

Natasha grabbed your hips once again and pushed you onto the bed before she moved to straddle you. You instinctively grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, your eyes glued to the mark on her skin but you forced yourself to look away at Natasha’s face, kissing her once again. Natasha kissed back, unaware of the mark on her collarbone, unaware of the growing ache in your chest.

Natasha cupped your cheeks as she grinded against you, letting out soft groans and noises of pleasure into your mouth as you kissed her. Natasha slid her hands to your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it aside. Her hands immediately went to your breasts and began kneading your soft skin, her lips parting from yours and moving to kiss and suck on your chest while you let out fake moans to cover up the hurt building up inside you. You knew she cheated, but you didn’t want to accept it, you had known since the moment she began coming home smelling like another woman’s perfume, you knew when you saw nudes from Wanda in her camera roll that she didn’t bother to hide, you knew when Natasha started hanging out with Wanda every single day.. it was obvious.

While you were lost in thought, Natasha had stripped off your sweatpants and panties, burying her face in your cunt and exploring your core while her nose nudged your clit. You sobbed as Natasha ate you out, she thought you were just worked up and feeling relieved, not actually crying. You didn’t stop her, you didn’t want her to stop yet you also wanted to hit her and scream at her for ruining you. You hated how much you loved her, you used to think she was absolutely perfect, that someday you would marry her, but in that moment, her laying between your legs as she ate you out, your tears rolling down your face and soaking into your hair and bedsheets, you knew you needed to leave her. You knew you had to but you didn’t want to, you wanted to stay with her no matter how abusive and manipulative she was.

You faked an orgasm once, and then again when she decided to start fingering you and kissing your neck, then again when she decided to use a strap-on. At least when she was between your legs you couldn’t see the mark, you couldn’t see her fucking face, but now you did. You hated Natasha for the first time in your life, you hated everything about her and yet all you wanted was for her to love you and only you. You needed her more than anything, no matter how horrible she was.

Eventually, after everything stopped, Natasha laid next to you. She stared into your eyes with an unreadable expression, her hand gently resting on your waist. Her voice rang in your ears, deafeningly soft and warm, “Are you okay?”

Without thinking, you let out a scoff. You turned to lay on your back and ran your hands over your face, stressed and upset. You spoke after a moment, still not facing Natasha “How long have you been fucking Wanda?”

Natasha’s heart ached for you, she wasn’t surprised that you knew, in fact she thought you would have approached her about it already, but she hated how hurt you sounded. She hated your sad expression, she hated your shaky breaths, she hated how terrible she felt for hurting you. She got out of bed and spoke, “seven months.”

You watched as she grabbed her clothes and left the room. She just left. You knew it was over, and part of you was relieved, but seeing Natasha so uncaring reminded you of who she was and who she’d always be. You laid your head back down and sighed heavily before deciding you wouldn’t care either, so you just went to sleep. You knew Wanda didn’t know about you, so you decided that in the morning, you were going to go see her.

If anyone actually likes this I’ll do a part two

[rinnstars]

all sides of you!

the five love languages rin shows to you

itoshi rin x reader: fluff, hcs/drabble, not proofread, likes n reblogs are appreciated <3

words of affirmation

- at the beginning, i think hes a lot more averse to saying romantic stuff so its more of in a long term/after months of dating

- mainly leaves sticky notes/passes notes during class/at home with what he wants to say ar rhe beginning

- after a while tho, he’ll try to at least praise you/compliment you irl then slowly tell you he loves you (altho rarely at the beginning)

- has a bunch of scribbled notes he never passed to you all filled with confessions/ things he wants to say that he eventually says at the back of his closet in a box (because he thinks its sentimental)

- a lot better at expressing his feelings and can say them without freaking out internally or stuttering before giving up and calling you a mean nickname to neutralise the compliment

- believes in a speak not tell but he knows communication is key so he’ll try his best so bear with him

- slowburn moment for this but its 100% worth it when he comes home from competition and all he can say is repeatedly whisper i love u into your ear as he pulls you closer into his embrace

physical touch

- again, at first hes a bit touch averse / awkward with hugs/kisses but after a while of dating..

- 100% super clingy esp after coming back from competition/bllk : his hands have to be somewhere on your skin, doesnt matter where hes not picky

- has to sleep with you, hugging you like youre his plushie (drools a little too btw)

- links pinky when you guys walk together doeznt matter where “you’ll get lost” excuse except his entire face goes pink at the touch of your hands

- really likes kissing your neck, he thinks its rlly cute when he can hear you & esp if it leaves a mark :p

- has piggy-backed you before even when youre not lying about your shoes hurting or being tired to be carried by him

- enjoys being babied ngl like he loves it sm when you pepper his face with kisses while he just lies there or when you comb his hair with your fingers: he feels like hes in heaven esp after stressful days

quality time

- tries to see you everyday : either through school/going to yours/his house, dates, or even facetime call

- calls you every night when hes overseas btw and during breaks he’ll try to text you back n reply to your messages

- the type to make up excuses just to hang out with you like “oh i need to get new shoes, come with me” even though he has 2038839 different pairs and then have to huy another one because he cant be caught (you can tell)

- wld go on “study” dates where he just stares at you 3/4 of rhe time and actually doesnt finish any of his “assignments”

- has gone on hangouts where both of you just chill in silence n rlly likes it because theres no pressure to do anything and its kind of calming/relaxing esp after having to deal with teammates n whatnot during work

- wld watch you play games/do anything while he sits beside you, just enjoying your company even if he craves a little more but thats alright by him

acts of service

- lowkey such an act of service guy like even pre-relationship even if he makes excuses for him bc hes trying to be #idgaf

- the type to rush to your home with meds/food/everything if you text him youre sick after missing school

- i feel like. he just kind of enjoys the peacefulness of like cleaning and would do it whenever hes stressed (ignoring the loud music he listens to)

- would bring your necessities sometimes, and ends up at some point lending a hairtie to reo (he has a pack of hair ties bought for you at all times)

- anytime he goes out to get food/on the way home, he’ll always get a portion of what youd like just in case, and doeznt mind just eating it as leftover if you dont want it

- has a notepad on his phone on your favourite orders (drinks, meals, desserts etc)

- if youre forgetful, he’ll text you to remind you : whether that be to attend events/eat lunch at proper times/buy something

- would go back to the store if he didn’t buy what you wanted/if you wanted something else without any hesitation as long as it makes you smile even if he doesn’t admit it

- would learn how to take pictures for you on his own accord : you didn’t even realise until one day you pass him your digicam and suddenly he was an expert photographer compared to just months ago when. you started dating where his hand was blocking the camera

giving gifts

- has a matching necklace with you at all times and its his lucky charm and he’ll 100% kiss it before a game / when he wins the game

- shared wishlist on online stores except he stalks through yours and buys them for you randomly to surprise you

- if you have something spoiled/doesnt work as well, doesnt matter if its a home appliance/jeans that don’t fit etc, he’ll buy one for you without any hesitation when he goes out/on his phone

- gets you trinkets/keychains/stuff that reminds him of you including any sanrio/anime/designs you like / even your favourite food ie. chocolates/candies/chips from different countries he goes to for matches

- would notice if you wore his gifts or not and try to buy more things that you like more ie. if you like silver accessories more, he’ll buy more of those

- even during school days, he would 100% blow his money on arcades if you like to play claw machine/those rhythms games and watch you play and sometimes if you don’t get it, he’ll try to get them after his football training for you and pass it to you as nonchalantly as you can the next day

- always buys matching things: that bracelet he bought you? yup he has an exact pair in his drawers, feels its more meaningful and intimate

- if you ever ask for anything, just know he’s willing to give you that and the whole world and even the whole galaxy

-

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[kiame-sama]

Dragon headvanon guy here again because a few more dropped into my head (also sorry for the typos, I'm not used to my phones big keyboard yet xD also 100% relate to you on the plushies, I have a big collection on my.own and love them with all my heart)

1. Most if not all Creatures love to be pet, it's common to see children & sometimes young teens being pet by their parents, older siblings or close friends. The older they fet the less likely they get petted tho, older Fae's and long lived Creatures tho remember that Humans would pet anyone who allowed it with great joy.

2. We know that Humans are seen as Peackeepers (or Beast Tamers) but I like to headcanon that they are also a symbol of Loyalty in many Kingdoms. Some older Creatures, like Lilia even remember Humans going through great dangers or sacrificing themself for their Pack.

An old Rumor has it that one of the Great Seven was actually once pack bounded with a human who sacrificed themself for them. (It would be an intresting idea if it was Scar and after he died many mistook the Human Sacrificing themself for him as him killing them & eating them. But you guys can go wild with this one)

3. Angry humans were a raresight to see and most only learned how dangerous humans could be once a Creature attacked a child and had to be send to a hospital after the Parent of said child got their revenge. It's also at that point that many learned how dangerous a human bite can be thanks to the bacteria in their mouth (that information sadly got lost to time though)

4. This is the last one for now, promise xD A lot of Kingdoms who were safe for humans, would have human daycares where they would watch over the Creatures kids. It was something unheard of since a lot of Creatures dont trust their young and rather weak children around others they dont know (and sometimes even close friends & family couldn't get close to the child without nearly being mauled.)

But it was a bit sucess and since it was free, low income familys would adly send their kids there to get food and have a chance at making friends. Some daycares even allowed sleepovers for Creatures who worked during the night, kids who were night active or those who weren't picked up because their parents worked late.

Sadly after humans went extinct these establishments were shutdown.

Ok one last one, this one is for the Fleur City; It's belived that humans created the Bell as a gift to the Rightous Judge who them upon getting this gift enchanted the Bell to ring in a specific tune when a human entred Fleur City.

Legends say that once the last human in Fleur City died and they went extinct as last that the Bell rung in such a sorrowfull way with the Rightous Judges cries that the spirit of the last Human in Fleur Ciry granted him a last gift. The Firelotus, so that any Magical Creature who dares to harm an Innocent Creature will be punished by humanitys judgment.

(No worries about the typos, I'm pretty bad about it too)

I'm down for all of these actually. Absolutely love how some canon things can so easily fall into place with just a little adjustment and work so wonderfully in an AU all its own.

I can see almost all of them wanting to be pet and of course hoping the soft human will pet them. Rook's already been pet by those little Human hands and he is already hooked. I could absolutely see Jack and Ruggie going nuts for petting. Lilia's already made it clear that group grooming is common so petting would likely be too. Maybe that's the Human's way of returning the grooming behavior to make Lilia sleep? Lilia has already petted Grim.

The last Human Lilia met was the surrogate mother of a young fox fae child and he will be forever haunted by how injured she was and still standing, unsure how long she must have fought to keep her young safe. Lilia had arrived near the end of the poor Human's desperate battle, stepping in himself but it was quite too late for the Human mother. He took in the child and raised them himself in Briar Valley, Silver is not the only child the old fae has taken under his wing. Lilia knows the sheer drive humans have to protect those they truly love because he saw it firsthand and he knows better than to mess with little Grim regardless of how much fun it would be. No need to upset the Human.

Humans were quite good at taking care of others young and many had a natural proclivity to protect infants regardless of what species it was. Humans aren't really all too threatening, so many mothers of the more protective species didn't feel that threat to themselves or their young like they did with other species or even their own family. Many are quite manageable as children and almost harmless, meaning the soft Humans could take care of them with no problem.

To make a world of magical creatures tremble in fear is a mighty feat and one only the fire lotus could achieve. After all, so many looked down on humans for their lack of magic, why not suffer the same fate for those who brought Humanity to heel?

[yayll]

Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg

HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3

~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~

"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."

You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.

"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."

This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."

You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.

"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."

"You mean his 'ideals'?"

You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.

He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.

"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"

This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.

"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."

He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.

"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."

Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.

You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"

You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.

"Me? No, no I-"

Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.

He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.

"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"

The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.

"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"

The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.

You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.

"No touchy, I've got it."

He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.

"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."

You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.

"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"

You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.

"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."

Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.

He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.

Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.

"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."

He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.

"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."

You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.

"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."

He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.

"I care."

He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.

"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."

Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.

"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."

His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.

He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.

"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."

You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.

"You've still got a little blood on your-"

Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.

"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"

It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?

An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.

[captain-joongz]

You know how Hongjoong has those fucking gorgeous thick thighs? Yeah I wanna leave marks on them so bad. Fuck hickeys on the neck, I want to give him hickeys on his thighs grrrrr

(If you write anything sub hongjoong please, idc what type but I dont read dom member ever cus it gives me the ick)

oooh anon you don't even know how much i understand you. do you remember when Hongjoong wore that striped crop top and light blue jeans? those pictures had me going crazy for his thighs and ass for days. our captain is just so well built~

and i'm definitely not opposed to writing sub!idols, it's a nice change for me and i am a switch (tho i mostly lean towards sub, but sometimes i get dominant streaks - especially with joong, hwa and yoongi, those guys drive me insane)

warnings: subby joong, marking, edging, begging, riding, unprotected sex

i go absolutely crazy for marks, so i fully understand your plight, and joongie just has such beautiful thighs and stomach, made for you to mark up as you please. i know i wouldn't be able to help myself

and whether we're talking about idol!joong or any other au, we know that our captain is just a helpless workaholic that will spend entire days working, dragging himself home just to sleep a few hours and then go right back to his job, and that puts a lot of strain on his psyche, so every now and then he needs a good caring for, a reminder that he can let go and someone will give him everything that he needs

that's where you come in, always ready to indulge your boyfriend and help him destress - and one of your favourite ways to do this is to have him all marked up writhing in pleasure under you, begging you for more and crying with how good he feels

his thighs are so strong and beautiful, and the honey-toned skin bruises so prettily, darkens to deep purple, and he responds even better when you take your teeth to his skin, leaving bite marks nicely encircling the dark dark bruises. but what's even better is how he tenses and jerks and jumps with every sharp prick of pain at a new mark made, whines and whimpers slipping out of his lips effortlessly

you always love to see how his eyes grow more and more hazy as he surrenders himself completely to the pleasure, giving up the reins and letting himself be carried by the flow. when he's really tired he always turns so sweet and pliant, all needy and teary-eyed, whimpering anytime your travelling hands brush over his perked up sensitive nipples or when your mean fingers dig into the bruised skin to draw out the burn

and even with his pretty cock all hard and red, wet and smattered in precum, you ignore it in favour of sucking and biting more spots into his abs - you're never satisfied until he's all covered in your spit and love, until there are tear tracks on his cheeks and drool slipping out the corner of his mouth without you even touching him where he wants it the most, cause that's when he's begging for you the sweetest

he'd want to cum so bad, and he wouldn't be shy to ask for it, countless whiney "please, please, please!" spilling out of his mouth, hands gripping into the bedding because he wouldn't dare displease you by touching where he's not supposed to

and when he was desperate, teary and marked up enough, you'd finally relent. the moment you finally sunk down on his cock would have him choking on his spit and moans, body tensing as he fought not to cum - he knew you wouldn't be happy about it, he still needed to earn your permission

whether you'd ride him quick and rough or slow and sensual would probably be up to your mood, but if he was really tired and just needing a release, you'd find it in yourself to take it easy on him, languidly rolling your hips on him and clenching your cunt around him to drive him closer to that peak

and he'd look so fucking beautiful under you like that, pretty tears tracking down his face, eyes hazy and mouth slack in pleasure, head thrown back, tits all bitten up. he'd be a vision, your vision, and you'd want nothing more than finally give him what he so desperately needed

after all, he'd been such a good boy for you, begged so prettily for you and worked so hard so he could spoil you, he deserved everything - and you'd tell him as much, smothering him in praises that would make him cry and whimper even more - he wanted nothing more than to be your good boy

"please, please, let me cum, i've been so good" he'd cry endlessly, and finally when you were also close you'd let him, allowing him to spill himself into you while you rode both your orgasms out. he'd cum with the most melodious relieved moans and then ragdoll into the sheets, completely sated and spent

and after wiping him clean, watching him slip in and out of content sleep and whispering more praises about how he pleased you so well, you'd finally settle in, pulling Hongjoong into your chest and petting his hair as he slipped off into the most comfortable sleep he had in a while

he could always count on you to give him just what he needed

our second ask, phew this one was so fun to write! everybody needs a little subby joong in their life, god just how much i want to spoil him and pamper him <3

hard hours continue!! don't be shy and come submit your own fantasies!

divider from @cafekitsune

[gravesdept]

CONTENT: task f 141 + graves + makarov headcannons — gn! reader >> slight angst. nsfw kinda. main character death mentioned. gun kink. knife kink. marking kink. blood mentioned. internalized homophobia. wc: around 1000+

an ;; LMAO CAN YOU TELL WHO HALF THOSE TAGS ARE FOR

“HOW DO THEY LOVE? // HOW POSSESSIVE ARE THEY? // DO THEY SHARE?„

SIMON “GHOST” RILEY ✮

hes possessive alright. simon most likey has never had or felt real feelings for another person other than his familiarity with 141 and that wouldn’t attempt to change unless he’d met someone who is able to sneak into the gigantic walls he put up for himself. that being said if you were to step into his life by chance and also happen to fit his personality enough for his walls to shift.. lets just say you’d be on his hook for life. simon takes pride in knowing he has finally has someone to go home to (like a real military man he thinks), he takes pride in knowing he can count on someone, he takes care of the ones he “loves”. you caring for him back is just bonus points in his fucked up book. sum of it ghost is pretty possessive, although hes not the one to kill or be extreme with his measures for you ( he will break a bone or two ), he will always make sure to put himself first and while that’s selfish hes been through more than enough to know that love never sticks and his trauma filled heart wont let him stay too long—but if he thinks that you are a need in his life,, then you are his to keep. hell asking if ghost shares could get you killed. while ghost is not the one to kill for you—he will kill for himself. you are now a necessity in ghosts life; in simons life. you’re in his routine and he doesn’t make room in his routine for just anybody, simon sees you as a part of his own as he now needs you for certain tasks. killing for himself is way easier and will happen if anyone even suggests sharing you to him.

CAPTAIN. JOHN PRICE

john is one hell of a lover, thats for sure. he takes his love life seriously; wants to date to marry type serious. its sure by his age he’s already been divorced or has been married and thats not something he takes lightly. hes all for one night stands but if your going to get him all cheesed up just expect to take him out to dinner the next day. if the “date” goes well and you both start with something thats sort of a talking stage, its clear he wants something as he doesn’t let his guard down for just anybody. like simon he puts his work first, task force 141 coming before his own soul. hes a workaholic of course and would need someone who he could talk to about his paperwork; a person he could complain to for hours about how soap works on his nerves. if you meet his standards you might as well be his even if you dont know it; he’s just as possessive as it gets. you’re civilian? hes treating you like one of his soldiers because he’s possessive over all of his men, price will kill for you knowing the danger he attracts. you’re military? hes backing you up if you need the extra assistance and will not hesitate to drop a body for you. cause thats how he loves; its all he knows. sharing is a hard no for price, he finds it awkward to share with anyone and if you want someone else.. lets just say he’d rather leave you than see you be with another person while with him, again he will not share under no circumstance. he needs you and you only and if you cant except that then “best get to goin’. ” in his words.

JOHNNY “SOAP” MCTAVISH

soap doesnt love as hard as john or have walls as high as ghost, he has his own sense of self coordination. soap wants someone whose rough enough but can handle his jokes. someone who can love him for who he his, for all his scars, for his wellbeing. I imagine johnny growing up being chastised for his sexuality. meeting you would solidify something in him as you would accept him and he would never forget that heavenly trait of yours. hes fallen for you already and theres not much more to do before he wants a ring from you. I know I said he doesnt love as hard as john but soap can come to love just as hard and willingly as he wants to; all he needs is a push. soaps clingy nature is active once hes feeling comfortable around you, wants to be by you most of the time especially including when he has to do stacks of deskwork. soap is one of the only ones who is willing to share, thinks its your choice compared to his. no matter what you do hes by your side; though, killing for you is his last resort. with johnny killing will not always be his first option especially since being discharged from the military he feels as though is a disgrace, he would only kill immediately if you were part of the military too and were harmed in combat. hes protective but not as possessive as the others.

KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK

kyle has relationship problems, falls for the wrong types of people. lets his guard down a bit too much than the others. makes him different in his heart; but too soft for the bunch. he crushes on people who give him even the tiniest bit of affection, must be because hes only dated around a few times. so guess its not absurd for the situation that was between you two. It was weird for a bit; weird cant even be the word. you and kyle were bestfriends and kyle had liked you. it was awkward to say the least but he confessed and for the first time in a while someone had said yes to his confession. that already sparked so many feelings that you could have had him right there. while gaz has relationship problems its safe to say hes just as possessive as the others, once hes got a hold of you its a while before he lets go. hes clingy like soap and loves hard like price. he’s different because he will kill for you if needed, whether you be civilian or military personnel no matter what’s happening kyle loves too much to let the person he cares about go. he shares because, again, its your choice and hes into whatever your into. though his tolerance is low; hes only sharing because its what you want. he would never willingly share if you didn’t want to and would never ask you if you wanted relations with another person.

COM. PHILLIP GRAVES

phillip is a one night stand typa guy, only there to fuck and leave. wouldn’t want a serious relationship and surely wouldn’t want someone to love. so he slept around ,, his job as commander was stressful no doubt he needed a stress reliever every minute he could get. one night stands provided that and he was fine with it, fine with the circumstances. ironically that is until he met you.. you were “different” he said. you pushed his buttons in all the right ways; made him want more of you. made him feel weird inside. said he couldn’t feel love onetime snd you almost made him regret it. phillip loves rough though but its soft around the edges and he wants that same type of love reciprocated right back to him, its alright if you cant be soft to him he’ll still take it like the goodboy he is. wants someone who will treat him horribly but at the end of the day love him harder than ever, not ideal but its what he wants, and he gets what he wants. never been one to quit either will continue to try and get you even if you say no to his advances the first time. safe to say he wont be sharing either, he has major problems with sharing when it comes to complete strangers. might share you with his shadows though; other times he wants you all to himself because he knows hes all you need. all your body needs atleast. your opinion is honestly irrelevant to him too. (he will drop anyone dead within a 5 feet radius of you.)

COM. VLADIMIR MAKAROV

vladimir, the one who is the toughest to break and even tougher to love. unless you have a sign on your forehead that says hey pick me, makarov is not batting an eye for a civilian. under no circumstances will he let his emotions with a mere under role come in hand with his work. so in every scenario your in some type of military work or even under him in command, cause then he might peak an eyelash towards your files and find out who you are. if prior to meeting eachother you idolize his work—you’ve already climbed towers that would take years to reach. makarov wants someone whose loyal, someone whose willing to put him first (he wants a dog whose willing to take their life for him). and while many of his soldiers already happen to do that everyday for him, you stick out like a sore thumb so bad that it just so happens to confuse him. he questions whats so damn interesting about you and even comes to reason that its him being weak minded and ill thoughted. a leader does not think such thoughts about someone of your sexuality; sure as hell not a person whose so proud of it too. later he comes to realize his thoughts were wrong. after a hookup between the two of you during a stressful day he sees more of whats to come. of course still he doesn’t support but he can get behind it because of you for the time being. makarov is VERY possessive, he would kill cities for you; countries even. would carve his name on your body so that everyone knows your his, make you get a tattoo atleast. (gets you guns with his name craved into them, loves when you try to use them against him during sex; he has a major gun kink / knife kink and loves inflicting pain on you to the point where you’re bleeding.) he for sure does not share. hes one of the ones thats obsessive over what you do enough to keep you locked up too, once your marked as his you stay his. he does not take well to his property being used by others and does not condone what you feel for that matter. if you disagree or betray his decisions,, no matter how much hes come to accept you he can and will not hesitate to shoot you dead along with anyone whose ever tried to come in contact with you. he does not share.

bonus: WHOSE IN WHAT POSITION? (sub/dom) ✮

simon is a dom for sure while still not feeling that comfortable submitting, price also is a dom but not because he’s uncomfortable he just likes having a bit of power, johnny is a sub bottom, kyle is a switch sub/dom depending on what mood hes feeling, graves is a sub leaning dom as he doesn’t like to let you do everything by yourself, makarov is the most power in a dom ive ever seen because he can’t stand having someone being superior to him.

an :: maybeeew writing makarov smut fic in a few days maybeee 🙂‍↕️

@ property of gravesdept on tumblr

[velnna]

oooo absint and staeve/vesta?? that drawing of them cuddling is super cute!! i love art of characters cuddling and sleeping haha.

is stuff about their relationship (romantic or otherwise? not sure) spoilers, or would you be willing to talk about it?? i know staeve/vesta is half bug, did that give him some extra kinship with absint, however they met??

i dont really know absints personality from drawings other than i want to fluff his hair/fur, and i love the velvety skin detail, but whats he like?? what are he and staeve/vesta like together, and whats absint like, just himself?? im super curious.

also, im super happy youre putting staeve in the under garden, hes my favorite of anyones tavs, and im happy hes gonna be getting a life outside of bg3 as well!!

Ty! I love drawing cuddles it's my downfall 😔

Nothing fully is or isn't a spoiler because the Absint arc is still a long way from where we're at right now, but I can give some vague pointers.

Half bug staeve doesn't exactly give him more affinity with someone like Absint - not just because Absint is full bug, but also because of the type of bug he is. I know out of the bug people I've drawn most are moth/butterfly coded HOWEVER that's pretty rare in the world overall and comes with a layer of weirdness attached. Absint is basically so bug at times it's a little alien to everyone around him

Personality-wise, Absint is also complicated TM. There's a before and an after for him, wherein before he was a bit of a stuck up overachiever that didn't have much consideration for how his actions impacted others and after he's an overthinking anxious mess that doesn't trust himself not to harm people around him. One constant thing is he's very booksmart and street dumb, which I suppose works nicely with Staeve as the complete opposite lmao

And the rest is history 👁️👄👁️

[year2000electronics]

HIII I'm immediately obsessed w your Just Say Yes au like GRHRGGRH I'm gnawing on this foreverr. as a sweater twins enjoyer though it's UGHH. angst <3 . but angst </3

even when mabel and dipper eventually reconcile (because I'm getting the feeling they will, at least someday) could mabel and ford ever reconcile? I'd imagine she blames him more than she blames dipper for the whole ordeal, and with stan inadvertently kinda making it worse (not to mention bill just. being bill.)

UGH and he'd probably still be too stubborn to admit or apologize even to his niece (I say this w love I promise). god save ford from the wrath of an arts and crafts girlie. the multiverse couldn't prepare him for her.

this is a tough question, and one i have been GNAWING on. ive been working on a full plot for just say yes beyond just the initial premise (there's a lot of stuff i have to consider! i'm even trying to consider whether there even should be an eventual weirdmageddon or not) so its like, i dont know the ending to it all yet, but i know that i want like. a happy ending but REALISTICALLY happy, yknow? so its not all kittens and rainbows but i think dipper and mabel are definitely gonna make up and theres gonna be the chance to heal. the chance is so important.

but that still leaves the question of the stans, and by extension, the stans' now-splintered relationship with their "opposite" pines kids. its tempting to say mabel never want to talk to ford again, right? he came into their lives, punched their grunkle in the face, made everything awkward and stressful for the entire time he was there, and by the end of the summer, took her brother away and then was part of the reason he became a paranoid shut-in.

but i think it eats at her that they have something in common that nobody else currently alive can say they have.

a friendship with bill.

it's not JUST that bill is some master manipulator, its more about what he represents for both ford and mabel. both of them were approached by bill during a period in their life where they felt more lonely than they ever had before (especially in the wake of a rift between them and their twin) and bill purposely used that against them. how can they explain to people that they confided in bill, and they ignored the signs? how can they explain why on earth they would trust a DEMON? who could sympathize with the twins who sold the world?

i think thats what could be the key to mending the relationship between all four of them. ford being the one to reach out to mabel after everything's done, after she either helps billie bring about weirdmageddon or ALMOST bring it about depending on what i decide. i think for ford, whos been slowly realizing that he is hurting the people he loves, and has been forced to reckon with that because unlike fiddleford and stan, he's living with dipper and seeing him slowly grow into a reflection of his own negative traits. and he realizes that him and mabel separating was In Large Parts His Fault.

the fact that ford would reach out to mabel and try to extend the olive branch during the period of her life where she probably feels the most like a pariah, more alone than even before billie, to say "sometimes we do selfish things. but that doesnt make us irredeemable" is a sort of atonement for both her and himself, and also a way for him to admit that yes, he did hurt people

[ganeshkfp]

This post wont have any spoilers so dont worry about it, Im just gonna share what I thought about the Wrath of The Triple Goddess

I finished the book so quick because I was sooo excited XD And I should say book had so many cute trio moments that made me melt! Trio content was fire! Also Percabeth content- perfection. They are always perfect.

But this book didn't seem...that good as the Chalice of the gods. Its way too rushed. Like almost sentences climbing to each other, I wondered if I had dyslexia. Events happening too quick and it was like book just wanted to be finished.

It didn't have that nostalgia of Chalice also, while I know its a book for advertasing, I think they went too far with it that it became too cringe. I understand you want us to remember the som, but it felt like a fanfiction more than a book. Comparing the Chalice, comedy was way too low also, kinda like a quick write because they had to write it. While Chalice looked like Rick worked so hard on it, Wrath felt like...forced.

I know Rick is busy with the show at all, but he is still an author, I am surprised.

Its not a bad book or anything, dont get me wrong. I enjoyed it so much. References were cute, it had my beloved characters and some surprises. But I had to say it :( It is not as great as Chalice. I wish it wasn't written just for advertasing, and that this book would be another masterpiece since it is the 7th book of our beloved pjo series. But Rick...

I understand he wants his show to be getting more viewers, but buddy, this is not the way, believe me. Also not adding descriptions still annoys me. We know by the book covers that they are still their book versions, why not adding them? I suspect its Disney policy or something but they are still his characters that he wrote 20 years ago...

Anyway, that was the end of my criticism of the new book! Now I cant wait for the third 👉👈 Gimme the new book-

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 7 - filial piety, and meryl

my alternate readings/translation/interpretation of jp lines are for triangulation purposes and nothing else.

ch 10-12. a more general scattershot of a post than over analyzing the japanese texts this time round. i think meryl in these 3 chapters is the most interesting character for me. but mainly bc she seems to be carrying a baggage: her struggle with filial piety.

^OH's version

ソレが普通ですわよ That'd be the most common sense thing to do. それにもともと家訓からして『自立せよ』ですからね But our house's motto is to first be independent above all. ドライといえばドライなのかも Mine would just be dry beyond dry...

me: hm. an office lady in the context of being written in 1990s by a japanese guy. i understand.

(i actually prefer OH's version bc the implications of what shes saying is the exact same, but more importantly leads into this page)

いきついて見れば When I realized all that 何か大切なものを忘れてるのかも… Realized that perhaps I've forgotten something (filial piety) so important... 私… I...

(you can see how this raw translation fucking sucks. I'd reword it in a way that's along the lines of 'feeling so ashamed as to forget getting angry', but OH's version is a downright banger. 11/10 the implications of what she feels is still the exact same. love it a lot!)

right so.

filial piety.

filial piety for a lot of asians is... kind of hard to break down. but perhaps can be explained as "abandoning ones' parents is the worst sin one can do".

not being filial is an invitation to the most extreme judgement from relatives and outsiders in a society which upholds it as the absolute virtue. at least, for the most part. (late stage capitalism fucked it all up yayy)

abandonment can be in the form of presence and/or financial. if a child doesnt make bank to pay back for their parents raising them up, they're not filial. if a child is absent and not there to take care of their parent, thats not filial.

and not being grateful, not being filial, equals shame and warrants divine punishment. (check out folklores like momotaro and kaguyahime that touches on these themes)

meryl i think struggles with that bc shes likely an only child who is expected to work an office job after studying super hard for it, and is now living independently away from her parents. meaning, she is technically not present to take care of them, which in this context makes her feel immensely guilty.

to make matters worse, it sounds like shes one of those types where her parents possibly had to work a lot to pay for this and that, resulting in a severe lack of communication. so this compounds, and she can only write dry stuff in her mind.

milly, by the way, does not have this problem as much:

she has a lot of siblings who can shoulder the weight of it all together, so in terms of that filial piety stress shes not doing so bad.

Badwick, the focus of this arc, by the way, faces the same struggles with meryl:

i mentioned the financial part bc from how chill the parents are with him, i think its possible he was trying to sell the land for large sums of money for his parents to retire. theres an added level of resentment going on that complicates their dynamic, with a dead brother and a land that means too much to sell for any sum of money.

and also his parents are... too nice and understanding, jeez.

i dont think meryl has the resentment. i think her case was similar in that her parents worked hard to provide and kinda neglected her in the connection part.

ofc this might then bring up the question of, 'isnt filial piety kinda transactional?', and, yeah. it... frankly can be. some parents have weaponized it, knowing that a society which forces unconditional love and financial support from a child is a good retirement plan. and it sucks. nightow must have realized this and sidestepped it.

whether bc it will not be well received by the then jp audience or if he just doesnt want to tell a story about this, i dont know. there could also be the fact that the 90s was a bad time to be talking about securing retirement for parents when the economy was circling the drain.

trigun gets dark later. we are getting love and peace above all else, at least for now.

...hm something seems to be rising over the horizon. but we can deal with that later. domestic violence

also i think vash is the kind who would also be a filial son to rem. this aspect of him is just lurking silently in the background in hindsight. in a barrel.

(incidentally i think this is also why luida and brad got promoted to surrogate parents position in stampede. much to ponder ponder...)

[ganondoodle]

Hi, you may have noticed me going trawling through your art which I’ve found I absolutely adore. Sorry for spamming! If you’re willing and have time, may we see an up-close version of Link’s Sheikah-tech prosthetic from the second image of this post please? Thank you so much for the beautiful art and au’s, have a wonderful day!

Hi!! dont ever apologize for 'spam' liking/reblogging, idk how it is on other platforms but i think on tumblr its generally a welcomed thing, me included!

i drew Links shiekah arm only in kinda low res and with a wonky brush so i doubt a close up will do any good, im planning a more detailed breakdown of it tho with some ideas on how his rewritten abilities will work/look

heres a zoomed in version of the sketch, its gonna be very pixelated tho ( my goal is to make it both simple and detailed, but also a little "bare" like its not a perfect arm just in metal but an actual construct, like john silvers arm in treasure planet but shiekah xD )

also thank you!! it means alot that my brain worms arent just me being weird again but do have something to them hfkdbfhkdsh

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

[deoidesign]

Wearing your boyfriend's jacket