#drawing has been the easiest thing to do for a quick break

[zoros-debt]

pre-timeskip portraits of my two favourite straw hats

[barananduen]

Art Advice: How to Deal with Art Block

Welcome to my Art Advice Articles series! In this issue, we'll talk about the different types of art block and how to break through them.

TYPE 1: I want to draw, but I don't know what!

TYPE 2: I want to & know what to draw, but it doesn't come out right.

2a) I've never been able to draw the way I want

2b) I used to like my art, but not anymore

TYPE 3: I have ideas but no motivation

TYPE 4: I want to draw, but I'm scared my new art won't measure up to my last good piece

Choose your type of art block from the list above the cut, and skip to the corresponding section below:

🌟TYPE 1 - I WANT TO DRAW, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT!

This is the easiest type of art block to deal with. DRAW ANYTHING! It doesn't have to be something spectacular; drawing an object on your desk or in your room will do; it will help you break out of this art block. Here are some ideas for you:

Ask people for suggestions. You don't have to draw all of them; just do the ones that appeal to you, in any way you wish.

Draw random objects: decorations, an insect, a slice of pie...

Close your eyes, draw a doodle/random shape. Open your eyes, try to make a creature out of it. Now redraw the creature with purpose.

Draw a scene or character from the last movie you watched / book you read / song you listened to.

Experiment with a different art form, like photography, crafts, dancing, etc. or a different medium (acrylic, pastel, pencils, etc.). This will shift your focus while still keeping your mind thinking creatively. Working with different art forms will: 1) loosen you up, and 2) give you ideas that you can apply to your main form/medium.

The last idea has another benefit. While working with a new art form, you will hone different skills, that will help you with your "main" medium if you have one (or the media you normally do). For example, if you draw and are stuck, working on photography can help you with composition and depth of field, among other things. Scrapbooking or making collages can help you with textures, color palettes, and also composition. Sculpting can help you with volume and angles. Dancing can help you with poses. You see things in a different light and can come up with new, fresh ideas. :)

🌟TYPE 2 - I WANT TO & KNOW WHAT TO DRAW, BUT IT DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT

This type can take two forms:

a) You've never been able to draw the way you want; or b) You used to like your art, but now you no longer do.

The good news is: both are temporary!

⭐ 2.a - I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DRAW THE WAY I WANT

Many, many people who are starting with art are under the misconception that art learning is a relatively quick process, that you can get good at art in just a couple of months, whereas the fact is, it takes years to get to the level we want, with art as with anything else.

Exercise what I call The Three Ps:

Patience

Practice

Perseverance

We must have patience! It's important to give yourself time; focus, don't rush, and don't get exasperated when things don't go the way you wish they would. They will, with time.

In the meantime, practice! Do studies (from life or photos, not from others' art so you don't accidentally copy other artists' mistakes). Learn how to use shading to convey volume. Practice different light sources. Learn and practice anatomy. Learn about lighting and colors. Try different subjects, styles, genres - experimenting and learning to draw different things is super important! Branching out will not only aid in building your skill-set, but can also help you find what you like.

Keep going and don't give up! You must persevere!

While you're doing that ...

Focus on the journey, not just on the end goal. It is important to enjoy the process for its own sake. This attitude will help with patience and perseverance, and will keep you happy longer.

While you're doing this, don't feel discouraged when things don't turn out the way you want! EVERYONE makes mistakes! And everyone has had to go through a learning process. Just because you don't see others posting things with mistakes doesn't mean they didn't happen. Take mistakes in stride, have a little humor with yourself, and learn from them.

⭐2.b - I USED TO LIKE MY ART, BUT NOT ANYMORE

Usually, when you feel you've hit a wall, when you feel like you're no longer happy with your art, it's right before you begin to improve again, so don't let that feeling make you quit.

What happens is that your brain (your inner art critic) is no longer satisfied with your current work because you've seen things you like better, and, subconsciously, you're going "my work would be better if I could do _." The thing is, once you become aware of what that blank is (which will happen), you'll start working toward achieving it, and you'll be moving forward again.

Sometimes it's helpful to take a short break to clear your mind a little, like when you've been working on a project/paper too long and need a break from it because you can't think anymore. Take a few days, maybe a week or two, but don't quit entirely! In the meantime, you can use your creativity in other media. Try photography, crafts, decorative cooking, anything! Give yourself some time and approach things with a fresh perspective. Give your brain a break from what's bogging you down.

When you come back, you can do three things:

Try again. Sometimes things just "click" after you've taken your focus off of the matter for a while, like how you can better spot errors in an essay after you've laid it down for a day or two, than right after you've finished writing it

Go back and review the basics again. You don't need to spent ages doing this; it's just a refresher. Sometimes, we get hung up on our methods and forget something we once knew we should be doing. A refresher's always good. Personally, I make it a point to go back and briefly review the basics every couple of years.

You can try approaching things in different ways. Experiment! Do things in ways you didn't do them before. Try different types of lighting, coloring, shading, for example. Maybe you'll find something you like better than what you were doing before.

The important thing here is to realize that this sudden dissatisfaction with your work is a GOOD THING! It means you're about to make a leap and get even better! So, embrace it and don't feel discouraged by it!

🌟TYPE 3 - I HAVE IDEAS BUT NO MOTIVATION

This one might be brought on by other things going on in your life, maybe things that are making you feel down. Sometimes, even music or books or whatever used to get you in the mood to do art doesn't work.

Force yourself to draw -ANYTHING- (See TYPE 1 for ideas). This will help jump-start you, and then you can get back to drawing cool things. The same applies to writing - write anything! A poem, a haiku, an anagram. Do a few and you'll get back in the mood. If you do photography, just take your camera and head out. Take pics of ordinary things from different angles; try a type of photography you don't usually do. Don't worry about the results being good. Just focus on doing the thing.

When I've had this type of art block and did these things, I got out of it fairly quickly. When I didn't, and sat it out hoping it would go away on its own, I stopped doing art for five years, and in the process forgot many things I already knew about how to make art. Different people work in different ways, but I do recommend that if you feel this type of art block has been going on for too long, actively do something to try to get out of it, like the examples I mentioned above. You don't want it to drag on long enough to set you back in your progress.

🌟TYPE 4 - I WANT TO DRAW, BUT I'M SCARED MY NEW ART WON'T MEASURE UP TO MY LAST GOOD PIECE

Lastly, I want to address the mental cage that is choking under pressure. You can feel pressured by external sources (other people, social media) and by internal sources (yourself). Sometimes, you might feel like you have to perform at a certain level, and that pressure may make you perform below what you usually do. In worse cases, it may make you freeze and scared to even try! Don't let pressure play you wrong. Breathe deeply a few times and clear your mind… and draw without worrying about it! Just draw!

It's like how, sometimes, doodles on lined paper come out better than things you draw on a white sheet or on a canvas… it's because you're not putting pressure yourself to come up with a masterpiece.

Draw without worrying about how good or bad the outcome will be. If it's not as good as your last piece - nothing bad happens! Honestly! But you know what does happen if you freeze up because you're afraid you won't measure up to your previous works? You will not create equal or even better works at all! So, let go of the pressure, don't worry, and just draw. You WILL make better works; it's natural and makes sense. More practice and time leads to improvement, no matter what level you're improving from. Just give yourself the opportunity to do so!

Let go of pressure and expectations and just draw for the sake of it! You'll do fine.

Yes, it's important to challenge yourself and break out of your comfort zone to learn new skills, but sometimes (like when you're in this type of art block), going with your own personal strengths will give you the morale boost you need to draw again, and then you can keep moving forward and tackle challenges and new things with more confidence.

Believe in yourself! And remember: don't stop or you won't create the next awesome artwork you didn't know you would make, because your future pieces will always be better than your past ones. Don't forget that!

🌟CLOSING

I hope his article can give you some ideas and motivation to help you plow through your art block, whichever type it may be, and you'll be back on your way to creating beautiful works! 💟

~B~

You can find the index to all Art Advice Articles [here]

[separatist-apologist]

I NEED PROMPT TWO

my fuckin azris brain wants them but I know ur feelings on azriel BUT I require Eris in some form 😈

I hope I did this justice. I wanted to impress you oh Queen of the Azris ship.

As always when it comes to answering prompts, you do not see any mistakes.

2- oh darling, if only I could love you

-

“Everybody out!” 

Eris Vanserra didn’t move as his court turned their backs to him, filing out of the open throne room until only one male remained. Eris, sprawled over his throne, one leg dangling over the arm as he examined the silver rings on his fingers, pretended his heart wasn’t leaping in his throat.

“Close the door,” he added to the sentries, curious as to what their High Lord meant to do with the Shadowsinger from Night Court. Eris himself wished he knew. Azriel was technically banished from his woods, and smart enough to keep himself from being noticed if he wanted.

And there he stood, arms crossed over his powerful chest, wings tucked tight behind him. Hazel eyes bore into Eris’s face with open accusation. 

“And see yourself out when you’re done,” Eris called. He would have no witness to whatever was waiting for him. A fight if he had to guess—one he didn’t want his court to hear word for word. Eris watched those golden doors slam shut, listening for the fading steps down the wood halls of the Forest House. 

And then they were alone. Eris couldn’t avoid looking at the male at the very end of the room, veiled in shadow from the dying light pouring through the windows–not counting his own, swirling around him like a hazy fog. 

“I warned you,” Eris said, forcing a lazy grin on his face. It was for your protection, he wanted to add, though he didn’t dare say it. After all, he’d succeeded, hadn’t he? Beron was dead and he was High Lord. He wore the crown of burnished leaves against his brow, reminding him of everything he’d gained.

And everything he could not have. 

Azriel remained silent, his gaze piercing a hole in his still wounded chest. A hundred stolen moments over the course of a decade flooded like a torrent through Eris’s mind. He’d made no promises and when the time came, had been quick to sever all ties between them. 

Some things were more difficult to break. 

“The punishment for walking the Autumn woods is death, you know.” He wanted to provoke a reaction so badly he would have said anything. Azriel’s silence was a blade to his heart, an ash arrow in his throat. Riling Azriel up had always been the easiest way to force the male to talk to him, even if it was punctuated with Azriels hand around his throat, and Eris’s blood between his teeth. 

Azriel yielded one step. “Shall I get on my knees, lord?” he mocked. Hurt and anger flashed through Eris in equal, burning measure. He swung his leg over the arm of the throne, resting his elbows on his thighs. 

“What is it that you want, Azriel?”

Eris, of course, has heard rumors of how Azriel has been spending his time. Lucien, irritated and jealous, had made mention of his own mate and the male he believed haunted her steps. The thought of Azriel with anyone else filled Eris with misery more often than he was willing to admit. Of course Azriel would move on—would forget him entirely.

Just as everyone always had. Eris expected Azriel to rub it in his face, to slap a cold grin on his face as he detailed for Eris just how little their time together meant. All of Eris’s worst fears seemed to manifest when Azriel’s wings flared. One scarred hand, illuminated in the blue of his siphon, reached for the blade at his back. Not truth teller, still strapped to his powerful thigh, but his Illyrian sword. Azriel pulled the entire thing smoothly from between his shoulders, not drawing the steel. Eris tensed.

Azriel threw it at his feet, the weapon sliding over the smooth floor to rest at the very bottom of the steps of the dais Eris rested atop of.

“High Lord,” Azriel murmured, sweeping into a bow that saw one of his muscular knees touch the floor. Deference.

Respect.

Love.

Eris clenched his fists to keep himself from rising to his feet. The sight of the male he loved bowing before him—swearing his fealty—was too much. Eris had no road map for this sort of unguarded, if not careful affection. How long had Azriel practiced this moment? Run it over in his head, imagining every possible scenario? Every outcome? 

Surely he must have known what was coming.

Azriel pressed his palm to the floor, a lock his inky black hair falling into near gold hazel eyes. Eris was certain he’d never seen anything more magnificent in his life and yet he forced himself to pretend he was unaffected. 

“Is this a confession?”

His words dripped with condescension. He could feel Azriel’s temper rise, creating static in the air between them. Eris wished he could make things easy, that he could just admit the truth.

I’m afraid.

I love you. 

“You know how I feel,” Azriel said, his dark voice rich with promise. Eris could not suppress the shiver that raced up his spine. His body went taut, pulled by that golden thread he had spent so many years denying existed. He rose to his feet, each step down to the floor seemingly endless. He went to Azriel, still on his knees, well aware a better male would have kissed his mate. 

Eris crouched, his heart racing as the scent of Azriel rolled over him. It had been so long since he’d scented night chilled mist and cedar, since he’d touched the rough stubble of Azriels jaw. He couldn’t help but hook his finger under Azriel’s chin, listening to their hearts sync.

“Oh darling, if only I could love you.”

Azriel’s eyes flashed, his nostrils flaring. One scarred hand shot out, grasping Eris by his hair. Azriel pulled tightly, drawing him closer, until their noses brushed.

“You’re still a coward,” Azriel accused, his breath fanning over Eris’s face. 

“You should love someone else,” Eris replied, unable to keep his own insecurities from his voice. It had always been that way. That mask was glued to his face until Azriel stepped into the room.

As it stood, it lay shattered to pieces between their bodies. Azriel twisted his fist into Eris’s hair until Eris reached for one of the crisscrossing straps over Azriel’s armor and yanked him closer.

It was a bruising kiss. Frantic and hungry and filled with all the things neither of them could make themselves say. 

I’m sorry.

I missed you.

Stay with me.

Azriels grip didn’t loosen, as if he knew the minute he let Eris go the spell might shatter and Eris would send him away again. Another five years in purgatory, looking for glimpses of the other when their two courts met while pretending they didn’t care at all. Eris too often woke at night tangled in his bedsheets, hands desperately seeking the silken touch of Azriel’s wings. Wishing for rough, calloused hands sliding down his naked chest. 

“I’m not leaving,” Azriel growled, his teeth nipping roughly against Eris’s bottom lip. “I don’t give a fuck about your laws.”

“What about—” Azriel’s tongue silenced him, delving into his mouth with such heat that Eris found he didn’t particularly care what Rhysand thought anymore. Eris felt frantic as Azriel’s words washed over him. 

I’m not leaving.

I’m not leaving. 

Eris didn’t know what to do, what to say. He could only kiss his mate and hope Azriel understood. That the things that had always kept them together explained away his cruelty. Beron would have ripped Azriel’s wings from his back, would had pulled the magnificent male apart like an obnoxious moth while Eris had been forced to watch.

And in the aftermath of what he’d done to secure his crown, his throne, he’d felt unworthy of something as rare as a mate. Azriel had seemed content and Eris had almost convinced himself they were better off apart. That being together would only ruin them both.

But there, one arm around Azriel’s neck, his hand dragging through the shtick strands of his hair, Eris felt stupid. 

“There you are,” Azriel breathed, pulling away with bruised lips to look at Eris. Eris gripped Azriel’s face, touching foreheads until they shared a breath. 

“If you were smart, you’d reject this bond,” Eris made himself say, each word gravel in his mouth.

Azriel didn’t smile. “I am well aware of your opinion regarding my intelligence.”

Eris swallowed hard, gripping Azriel for dear life. His thumbs swept over bronzed cheeks, eyes searching his mates. “Stay with me.” For a moment, there was only the sound of their combined hearts. Azriel had already said he was staying, and yet Eris needed to hear it again. On his knees, no longer the High Lord but just a male in love, he needed to hear Azriel say it again.

And again.

Every day until he drew his very last breath.

“You first,” Azriel ordered roughly, his breath catching in his throat. Eris knew what he wanted to hear. The very words Eris had refused to ever say out loud, had denied even to himself save in the darkest parts of his mind no one could reach.

“I love you.”

Azriel’s eyes rolled upwards, lashes fluttering ever so slightly. Eris brought his face closer, pressing a kiss to each cheek with all the softness he could muster. It wasn’t much—he’d never be a gentle, soft sort of male. 

He didn’t think Azriel wanted that. 

“I’m not leaving you. Ever,” Azriel added with a ringing finality. Eris’s mind raced with possibilities. Where Azriel would fit, what role he might occupy. It was terrifying to lay himself bare before so many, to announce to the world this male was his only weakness in the world. 

And not having him was infinitely worse. 

Eris forced himself to take a breath. He was High Lord. Autumn would bend to his will or they would join the rot in the woods. 

“Good.”

He rose to his feet, bringing Azriel with him with a tightly clasped hand. There was no hesitation, no moment of uncertainty. Just them, connected by the golden thread of fate.

And for the first time in Eris’s life, he felt like he could breathe again. 

[nocapesdahling]

Under the Cover of Darkness

Helmut Zemo x GN! Reader

My Masterlist

Summary: Baron Zemo has amassed quite an art collection over the years and it’s enough to draw your attention. After much surveillance, you don’t know which work you’re going to steal, but know you’ll have plenty of options to choose from. Little do you know that he’s been watching you too.

Rating: M (18+, Minors DNI please)

Warnings/Tags: Soft! Dark Zemo; Degradation; Art Collector! Zemo; Thief! Reader; Dirty talk; Power imbalance; Referenced masturbation; Arrogant! Zemo; Referenced voyeurism; Implied future dubious consent; Brief mention of cockwarming; Hints of Dom! Zemo; Possessive behavior

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I originally had a very different fic planned, and this ended up going in an unexpected direction. I know this is a bit outside the realm of my usual fics, so I’d love to hear what you think. 

You’d been casing his place for way too long. Baron Zemo, who was one of the wealthiest people in Sokovia and rumored to be one of the most prolific art collectors in the world, hadn’t been the easiest man to find. The scope of his collection had only been a rumor to you, one you’d heard in passing and paid no mind to. Until you’d heard it again from one of your closest friends and fellow thief in Madripoor, who’d been at an auction to see who was buying what for future reference and saw a man, who everyone knew was Zemo’s representative, buy a Raphael like it was nothing. Based on that, your friend thought there might actually be credence to the rumors and that was enough for you to check it out.

From your research and surveillance, you’d learned that Zemo lived mostly alone with only Oeznik, his butler and also his representative at auctions, for company. Well, he also had the company of his art collection. And that was no small thing. You’d been able to discover after almost a month that his collection was everything they said it was and more. You’d caught a glimpse of a Rembrandt, a Monet, the aforementioned Raphael, a Van Gogh, and a Basquiat with who knows what else displayed in other parts of the house. 

After searching for what felt like ages, you’d finally found what looked to be a small hole in his security. A place where the cameras had a blindspot, where the hallway was dark, and where the window could be jimmied. That meant that you were done casing and it was time to do what you did best, stealing. Tonight was the night. Finally.

You got the window open without the telltale sound of breaking glass and pulled yourself through, landing lightly on the balls of your feet. At a crouch you moved forward, towards the Monet you’d glimpsed during your surveillance. Up close it looked like “Meules'' from 1890, a painting that had been held in private collections almost since its creation. You shined your flashlight on it and were mesmerized by the brushstrokes, even in the dark — so much so that you forgot where you were for more than a moment. That was until a lamp turned on in the corner of the room, startling you into dropping your flashlight. No one was supposed to be in here. Oeznik’s room was on the other end of the house and Zemo kept the same bedtime every night. You’d watched his robed form lounge on his bed before he turned the lights out exactly at 10 pm each night enough to know.

Speak of the aristocrat and he shall appear. You turned, eyes wide, to behold Baron Helmut Zemo lounging in one of the leather chairs with a glass of scotch in his hand. The lamp cast his face half in shadow and he looked sinister for a moment. His lips were twisted into a cruel smirk you’d never seen on his face before during your scrutiny of him and his eyes looked triumphant before his face smoothed and became still again – as inscrutable as the depths of the ocean. It was so quick that you may have imagined it.

“It was nice of you to join me, my rogue. I thought that I’d be waiting forever for the pleasure of your company.”

You knew what that meant. He’d known you were coming. How had he known? You’d been so careful.

“Ah, I see it in your face. That moment of realization. You were careful, little thief. But not careful enough. For while you’ve been watching me, I’ve also been watching you.” He paused for a moment in contemplation and tapped his thumb against his lips. “And I have liked what I have seen.”

This had never happened to you before. You chose a mark, you cased their house, and you stole what you planned to steal. Each time was a success, allowing you to make something of a fortune and to even keep your favorite pieces for your own collection. You were a damn good thief if you did say so yourself. No one had ever made you. Not like this.

“You are speechless. That’s fine. I often have that effect. Let me ask you. You saw me swimming in my pool. Didn’t you, my thief? Nod if you can’t summon the words.”

You bit your lip, thoughts meandering back to that day. His surprising muscles with the water dripping off of them and the way his bathing suit had flattered his assets – yes, you’d like what you’d seen even knowing that those muscles were remnants of his recent time in EKO Scorpion. Even so, you were tempted to shake your head no. He had the upper hand here already and you wanted to gain something of your own back.

“Before you respond, I will know if you’re lying. And you will not like the consequences.”

You shivered slightly at his tone and how his voice had deepened before hesitantly nodding yes.  

“I knew you did. I knew you were watching that day you see and wanted to put on a little bit of a show. I knew my collection already had your attention, but I wanted it for myself.”

You cleared your throat, summoning words for the first time in his presence. “And you had it.”

He leaned forward, his scrutiny of your face intensifying. “I know I did.” He sipped his scotch, his mien assured as though he already knew the answer to his next question. “Tell me, my rogue, did you touch yourself afterwards to thoughts of me? If you don’t want to admit it, that’s fine but I will tell you that I did. I imagined what you would look like — below me, riding me, in my sheets, against the wall, and covered in paint in my studio with my cock inside you as I worked. I can detail all the ways I’ve imagined you if you’d like. It’s rather a long list.”

You looked away, unable to hold eye contact. You had in fact got yourself off to thoughts of him as soon as you’d found a secluded place and had a few times since then, but you were never going to admit that to him. Before they’d been harmless fantasies of a mark, which once you liberated one of his paintings, you’d never see again. But now faced with Baron Zemo watching you from the shadows, his eyes intense and burning, they felt anything but harmless — they felt dangerous, like you were about to jump into an abyss without knowing its depth, and it made you shift in discomfort. It was too bad you’d always liked danger more than you should. You shook your head no and began moving towards the window as subtly as you could, which in your current agitated and aroused state was nowhere near subtle.

“Oh, you didn’t? See my thief, I don’t believe that. I think you made it to my hedge maze and no further before bringing yourself pleasure. I think you got lucky that the cameras there were off that day otherwise I would have had that memory preserved forever. But don’t worry, we’ll make new ones.”

You’d almost made it to the window, which with its age had unfortunately slid closed. You only needed to get it open and you would be free. You wouldn’t be around to “make new memories” with him, and hoped to never see Zemo again.

He was still serenely watching you and sipping his scotch as you went for the window.  

“It looks like I’ll be leaving now, Baron. I’ll leave you be. I promise your collection is safe from me, and you can forget you ever saw me.” Your voice sounded as nervous as you felt.

“Leave me be?” He stood, placing his scotch on the table, and prowled closer like a predator approaching its prey. “Now, when did I give you the impression that I wanted that? You see, my rogue, the window won’t open. I closed it and locked it while you were entranced by the Monet. You do have good taste, though I thought thieves of your caliber were supposed to have better senses.”

At this point you’d backed up into the wall next to the window, dropping the tools of your trade to the ground. Zemo’s face was fully illuminated in the moonlight as he loomed over you and he was just as handsome as ever, even more so now that you knew he was a worthier opponent than you’d ever expected.

His voice when he spoke again seemed to linger over the words as he smirked at you. “Oh no, my little thief in the night.” He tsked, “You will not be leaving for a very long time. This is your home now. Isn’t that wonderful?”

You shook your head and a tear escaped from your eye. He wouldn’t be able to keep you here. Your friends would look for you. Your buyers would miss you.

“Look on the bright side, you will be well taken care of here and my art collection will be within your reach at all times. You’ve seen how well I treat my art, yes? I take good care of what’s mine.”

You continued to shake your head. “What about me? What about my life?”

Zemo reached out and caressed your cheek, his thumb catching a tear and his hands shocking in their warmth. “Ah, yes. An important question. As for you – well, you will be within my reach at all times. Mine to do with as I please. Doesn’t that sound lovely?” He didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “I think we’ll be very happy together, don’t you? You’ll be the crown jewel of my collection.”

Reblogs, likes, and comments are much appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!

A/N: I will confess that I rather like the last line. Hope you all liked this, and please let me know if you did! 

I do have a Halloween fic in the works for Zemo and a fluffy Laszlo Kreizler drabble I can’t wait to post. I have quite a few fics for Zemo on my masterlist too if you’d like to check them out!

My Masterlist

[maiji]

Reverse-engineering Hokushin and Otake

I am very very close to finishing part 3 of fight / flight! So close…!! I decided to take a break with what was supposed to be a quick drawing but ended up going down reference rabbit holes oops. This is modern day (actual Yu Yu Hakusho series canon) Hokushin and Otake alongside my imagined early Kamakura-era versions of them in North Bound.

More commentary below the cut.

To figure out their relative heights, it was the usual game of Measuring Stick Yusuke, i.e., relying on the fact that every single character at some point has stood next to Yusuke, or next to someone who has stood next to Yusuke. In this case:

Hokushin is a head taller than Yusuke.

Otake is about half a head taller than adult Koenma.

Adult Koenma is half a head taller than Yusuke.

Therefore, Otake is about half a head taller than Hokushin. Success!!***

This is assuming nobody changed in height between 700 years ago and now lmao

(*** EDIT: I reread this post and was like, wait, what I wrote doesn't make sense. Measuring stick logic outlined above actually indicates that Hokushin and Otake would be about the same height lol. My logic failed. However, I went back to doublecheck my notes and the manga panels and "Otake is about half a head taller than adult Koenma" is little more than guesswork because they spend most of the time crouched next to each other and leaning slightly forward, so he could be anywhere from the same height to even a head taller. Ehhhhhh close enough. Again, 700 years, who's counting.)

Reverse engineering character designs to different ages/periods is always a fun exercise. Aside from new clothes, one of the easiest and most obvious things to do is to change up their hair! Super easy for these two. Give Hokushin hair, and shave Otake’s mustache off and give him a closer-to-period hairstyle instead of his Western-style cut. Done! But of course, a challenge is that for most visual storytelling purposes, you still need the character to be quickly recognizable.

To me, the really distinguishing aspect of Hokushin and Otake is how Togashi renders their eyes. This is where I find it particularly interesting, because both of them have very fixed eye styles. I personally struggle a lot with making them more expressive without feeling like I’m going super off-model. I have a lot more flexibility with Hokushin now because I’ve drawn him about a bajillion times, and through North Bound I’ve stretched the comfort level of how I can depict him. This is only Otake’s second appearance in North Bound (though it feels like a lot more because it’s taking me a while to draw all these parts of a story), so it’s been more challenging. Page 7 in fight / flight part 1 was difficult in terms of making him look intense. You can see what happens if I tried too hard to convey intensity with his eyes by checking out the sketch of the page - it doesn’t look like him anymore. (Sometimes that can work though, for drama especially when conveying something going off the wall and pushing their limits or shocking others with an about-face.)

Working through their designs allowed me to reflect on the parallels in their design and nature. Hokushin and Otake are both envoys of sorts for extremely ancient and powerful non-human masters, and naturally bring a lot of visual gravitas to that role. Neither of them are the sort of people who’re here to just chill and hang out, and their visual appearance and presence need to convey that.

Hokushin I’ve talked about before. Togashi draws him with these really low eyebrows and flat, dark eyes that almost never shift. This makes him look very serious, to the point of glowering. But through the magic of characterization, context and other little facial details, he feels a lot “softer” - friendlier and more approachable. On the flipside, Otake has very thick bushy eyebrows and beady eyes. His eyebrows are definitely much more mobile than Hokushin’s in the manga, and the styling has the potential of coming off almost comedic, but we never get that impression from him unless Togashi is actually drawing him in a situation where we’re intended to laugh at him (e.g., his reactions to Yusuke pretending to turn into an evil demon). Instead, he feels really serious - much more rigid and inflexible than Hokushin.

Part of this is due to reader perspective as well. Hokushin is a demon who eats humans, which is typically terrifying nightmare material. Otake, on the flipside, is the head of the Spirit World’s Special Defence Force, sent out to save the Human World and also stop a powerful demon from awakening, which sounds like a classic hero. But of course, Togashi has flipped them on their heads, at the most basic level simply by sheer virtue of their associations. Yusuke is the protagonist we’ve followed since volume 1; by the time we get to volume 16, we know him very well and have been rooting for him for all these pages. We can quickly recognize and identify his struggles even in challenging situations. Thus, Otake intent on killing Yusuke (permanently) makes us quick to judge him as villainous - or at the very least on the “wrong” side. Meanwhile, Hokushin appearing in Yusuke’s court, understanding Yusuke’s concerns and even giving answers that clearly align him with Yusuke’s values, immediately develops more benign associations. It’s interesting to compare and contrast them!

[castielafflicted]

For the fanfic asks!! 🤡🌞👀

hiii taylor thank you! Ask game here!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Here's an exchange from This Is Normal, Right? aka thee shaving fic.

"Dean, I don't know why you told me I needed to shave if you were going to turn around and tell me you didn't trust me to do it cleanly," he snapped back. The conversation was going further down the drain with each passing second. "I was trying to offer to do it for you!" Dean yelled. He flopped backwards to face the ceiling. There wasn't any normal way to offer to shave your best friend’s face, let alone when he’s the man you've been having weird feelings towards. This one was clearly the wrong way though.

This one makes me laugh because jesus christ Dean you are a wreck. The other exchange is the last two lines of Laughter in a Corn Maze, because it's so adorable that it makes me giggle.

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

After sundown, regardless of what time of year it is. In winter I can start writing at like 5pm without issue, and summer it's easiest if I wait until 10pm. My favorite days of the week to write are Saturday and Sunday, and that shows on my spotify daylist.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh my god Taylor I love you for this. I am not back from my writing break yet but I love talking about the fics I'm writing. I put a clip of one fic here that I'm excited for, but one that I'm looking forward to being done and posting even more is my sutober day 3: Inspired fic.

I have no idea how complete it actually is, but as of right now (aka October 23rd) there are four different poems in it. The first one was an unfinished piece I wrote before a family cat died back in October that I edited slightly to make work for the fic, and in doing so it made me realize that it being unfinished was actually how to finish it and titled it Unfinished Finality. The second poem currently titled Thing in my Soul has been unfinished since July and I'm still foaming at the mouth over it not being done but don't know how to finish it and intentionally left it unfinished in the fic. The third poem is specifically a destiel poem titled Pollution was unfinished until I was writing this fic, and is used as the major plot point in the story. The fourth poem is titled Lazarus Arise and I think you can guess what it's about. I'd been wanting to write a 4x01 poem for months and it turns out all I needed to do was start writing a "short fic that would only use one poem that was already mostly done". The spoiler I will give you on this poem is that it makes Cas laugh, and that's all that matters in life actually.

Once the fic is posted, I'll definitely post Lazarus Arise on here separately. I might post Pollution and the unedited version of Unfinished Finality too. My brain is slowly starting to rotate fics again because of this ask which is good 👀

I just realized I didn't say anything about the fic besides the poetry, so very quick. It's completely Cas POV and that's always something exciting for me to write. He is absolutely doing things in this fic that he should not be doing <3 Dean draws and writes poetry in his cute little diary (journal) as a coping mechanism and Cas reads it (he should not be doing this).

Also I'm excited about an destiel omegaverse outline that I have fully done, so if anyone wants to hear about that I can talk about that too.

[castillolandscaping]

How To Get Rid of Tree Stumps from The Ground

If you’ve got tree stumps in your yard, there are several methods to get rid of the Tree Stumps. Although digging out a tree stump is destructive, the process is relatively simple and effective. The only downside is that getting all the roots out can be challenging if you don’t go deep enough. If you plan on planting new trees over the same spot in your yard, you’ll need to remove all the roots and the stump itself. The following are 5 ways how to get rid of tree stumps from the ground:

Digging Out The Tree Stumps

If the tree was cut in the last year or so, your stump is still relatively fresh, and you want to get rid of it fast, the best thing to do is dig it out. But before you start digging, use a shovel to mark the outline of the stump on the ground. This is especially important if grass grows over the spot where it’s buried. Once you’ve marked off your sides, start digging.

If you’re using a shovel, go around the whole perimeter of where the stump is and dig out a trench about six inches deep. Then, start digging toward the middle until you hit the stump. After that, take an axe or a saw — depending on what type of tree was there — and cut through any roots holding it in place. Then, use a sledgehammer to break up the stump into smaller pieces that are easier to remove with your hands (or a shovel).

Using An Electric Grinder

Grinders are easy to find at rental centers and can be effective when removing tree stumps. They work by spinning a sharp, circular saw blade at breakneck speeds. This can make quick work of even the most brutal tree stumps and leave you with a nice flat surface. The only real problem with this method is that the stump will probably be hot for quite a long time after it has been removed, so you’ll need to be careful that you don’t burn yourself on it and remember not to use it as a table or chair during that time.

Using An Auger Drill

If you want to get rid of tree stumps on your property, it can seem like a daunting task. If you’ve paid the price of the tree removal service, why not take advantage of their large machinery and get that stump out of the ground right away? Well, it is possible to do this yourself! All you need is an auger drill, which can be rented at any home improvement store. The idea behind this process is to use the auger drill to remove a slice below the stump’s surface, which will cause the tree to rot from within and eventually decay till its death. The key to success is drawing more of the stump’s mass from beneath the surface, so taking your time drilling is essential. Remember that your tree stump might take several weeks or months to succumb to its fate.

Using Chemical Solutions

The easiest way to be successful is by using a chemical solution that will cause the roots to die and keep the tree from growing back. Tree stump chemical solutions are available in most hardware stores. The best part about using a chemical solution is that it’s cheap and easy—the drawbacks come with the slight chance of burns caused by contact with skin and lung irritation after breathing in vapors.

You can easily protect your skin by wearing rubber gloves and also goggles and save your lungs by wearing a face mask. Once you’re protected from the chemicals, all you need to do is mix up the solution according to the instructions on the bottle and pour it into holes you’ve drilled around the base of the stump. The chemical will kill everything in its path, so ensure you aren’t running it directly onto any other nearby plants or trees.

Using An Excavator or Bobcat Tractor

This is the most efficient way of removing tree stumps because it uses the most horsepower and leverage. It is also the best way for large stumps that are too big for traditional tools. First, dig a pit around the base of the stump. Then cut through its primary roots using an excavator. Make sure to use as much power as possible, and use hydraulic controls, if available, on your excavator for better control over blade depth and angle. Once the primary roots have been severed, remove dirt around the stump with a shovel and pull the stump out using a chain attached to your tractor’s bucket. This method works well for stumps recently cut down but not so well for older stumps that have sunk into the ground more than two feet.

Stump removal is becoming more common for two reasons: first, unsightly stumps risk injury to anybody who happens to be wandering about your property unannounced; second, tree stumps are a common cause of property damage and lawsuits. Beyond that, stumps may foster the growth of an unsightly new tree, draw in pests, and emit an unpleasant odor from decaying roots. The stump removal service offered by Castillo Tree Service is the quickest, most effective, and safest approach to prevent these issues. Our California-licensed experts have seen it all and can solve the problem by combining cutting-edge tools with their extensive industry knowledge. For immediate assistance, call Castillo Tree Service for more information.

[cozycottagetarot]

Quick Pick: What Do You Need To Know

I've finally managed to do a reading! 🎉This reading is a quick pick so it's a fairly short reading, but hopefully, that doesn't stop it from resonating. I've also used a deck that is still fairly new to me and I haven't done any type of reading in months so feedback is 100% welcomed.

Deck Used: Woodland Wardens by Jessica Roux

Disclaimer at the bottom.

Pile 1

Cards: The Deer and Oat (healing), The Bee and Pomegranate (productivity) Rev., The Ladybug and Sweet Pea (happiness), The Antelope and Wheat (nourishment), The Spider and Passionflower (creative ingenuity)

Hello my pile 1's. As I shuffled your cards many kept jumping out and hiding. Makes me think that for some of you you're barely holding your shit together and you're longing for the opportunity to put down your load. Based on the cards I pulled, for a few of you the past few weeks or maybe months have been hard on you and it's time for you to take a break from it all and rest and relax. You may be trying and trying to get a particular task or project finished, but the cards represent that no breakthrough will happen until you tend to yourself first. The Ladybug and Sweet Pea, represent that good things are going to start happening. Whatever hardship has been troubling you will start to ease up soon. You could also be finding unexpectedly innovative solutions to your problems as long as you have patience with yourself.

Edit: I felt like I needed to draw another card long after completing your reading and I pulled The Lizard and Pitcher Plant (stagnation). This card is about being able to leave something behind in order to move forward. If you find yourself with a full list of to-do's, don't be afraid to erase some of them completely so you can focus on the ones that will make the most impact in your life (such as taking time to rest 😉).

Pile 2

Cards: The Hound and Pear (loyalty), The Rooster and Sunflower (communication), The Ram and Dahlia (determination), The Marten and Foxglove (mischief), The Butterfly and Snowdrop (hope)

Hi pile 2! Your spread has such a bright disposition simply from the bright imagery on the cards. A friendship is blossoming for you pile 2! I feel like many of you who picked this pile are accustomed to being misunderstood, but someone in your life or coming soon is going to see you for you-- someone loyal, kind and caring. Some of you could be gaining a promotion or stepping into a leadership position. For others, stepping into a new era of confidence and unapologeticness is what The Rooster and Sunflower represent for you. Regardless of whichever situation resonates with you, clear communication is going to be key, and your determination is going to be the thing that makes this happen for you. Overall positive things are coming your way, and if adventurous opportunities take you by surprise, don't be afraid to say yes!

Pile 3

Cards: The Otter and Cattail (peace), The Bobcat and Blackthorn (patience), The Snake and Fern (starting over), The Porcupine and Anemone, The Snail and Huckleberry (trust in the invisible) rev.

Just by looking at the cards, I'm feeling like some part of your life, if not all of it, has fallen apart pile 3. A significant relationship in your life pops out to me for some of you. Peaceful times are coming to you, however, the journey towards peace may not be the easiest. It will require you to do some planning and have patience. Alternately, this good is something that you've been holding out for. There's a lot of dark imagery in the cards, but the animals look calm so for some of you you knew the situation you were in was holding you in a dark place, however, you've been biding your time for your chance to make the change in your life. If the relationship stands out to you, it might be that you didn't have strong boundaries in the past so you gave what you had until it depleted you. In general, maintaining your boundaries in your new beginning is very important. With The Snail and Huckleberry, regardless of whether you're actively pursuing change, it's important to believe that your peace is coming, whether you see physical proof of it or not.

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for self-reflection & fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I ask that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

[loud-fandemonium]

Summary: shiggy is an ass and yells at reader, which triggers them due to past trauma. It’s ok at the end tho he genuinely apologies and ya’ll work out stuff for moving forward in the relationship👍

Warnings: this is veryy self indulgent and I can’t write for shit but I’m still posting it, hurt/comfort, shiggy’s kinda ooc cos I don’t think he’d be this mature with his apology, reader has past trauma from an unspecified someone they lived with for a long time who was implied to be abusive, shiggy yells at reader, shiggy dusts one of reader’s plushies, reader is triggered by his behaviour and has a bit of a break down, reader and shiggy use scratching at skin as an unhealthy coping mechanism, if there’s anything else let me know and I’ll add it

...

There where a lot of good things that came with dating Shigaraki Tomura. But, with him being one of the most wanted villains in Japan, there were also some drawbacks.

Him Being the leader of the league of villains was one of the most significant. The pressure of the job leading to you often having a somewhat temperamental boyfriend. Usually you could put up with it even if it was at times upsetting; villainy was definitely a more stressful career path after all.

A part of you wished he’d say ‘sorry’ more often after arguments, but you understood verbal communication and vulnerability weren’t really the easiest for Shigaraki. And it’s not like you couldn’t tell he was sorry. His behaviour turning much more cautious, soft and physically affectionate post altercation.

Today was different though. You’d never seen him this upset, this angry.

It had been building over the past week, failed missions and uneasy members, resulting in your boyfriend being more on edge than usual.

“What, so you think I can’t fucking do anything? Is that it?!” you shook your head words stuck in your throat. You’d been trying to help. You knew how much stress he was under. So, while Shigaraki was busy with league business you’d tidied up his room. Picking up dirty clothes that needed to be washed, making his bed and cleaning up his gaming area; cleansing it of old chip packets and empty soft drink cans. “You think I’m just some fucking kid?!”

“no, Tomura-“

“Then why the fuck are u acting like it?! You think I need you to clean my room?! If I wanted to clean it I fucking would I KNOW HOW TO CLEAN MY FUCKING ROOM!!” You felt yourself practically shaking. You’d never been good with people yelling at you, particularly men yelling at you. it was always a trigger that quickly sent u spiralling.

“p-please stop yelling,” that was all you could manage to say, breathes coming out shaky and quick as tears filled your eyes.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, DONT TELL ME WAT TO FUCKING DO!!” you flinched, drawing in on yourself. You’d never truly been afraid of Shigaraki before. Not when you’d found out who he was, not the first time he touched you, a couple gloved fingers all that stood between u and his quirk.

But you where scared now.

Scared of his total disregard of your closed off and shaking form, cheeks wet from tears that wouldn’t stop. Scared of how loud his voice was. Scared because you’d been here before. They’d done this too. Over and over until anyone who raised their voice at you sounded like them, reminded you of them. fingers found there way to the expanse of skin on your opposing forearm , nails slowly beginning to scrape across it in a familiar rythme.

“LISTEN TO ME!!” you looked up at Shigaraki, saw how his eyes where wide with rage.

Desperately you searched his face for a way to appease him, to make this all stop. “I asked you a fucking question.” Did he asked a question? You couldn’t remember, all you could do was stand there like a deer caught in headlights, completely frozen. The silence as he waited for you to answer was worse then when he was yelling. You felt like you were facing a snake, one poised to strike at any moment. “I asked if you would like it if I messed with your shit, but since you’re not fucking answering maybe I need to give you a demonstration.” Shigaraki’s tone was harsh and dangerous as he stalked over to the bed you shared. The bed you’d been sharing for almost a month. Things had been going so well. So, you’d stopped sleeping in your own room in favour of his; bringing your favourite pillows and stuffed animals to the space.

Now all you could do was look on in horror as your boyfriend ripped off one of his gloves and snatched at your favourite plushie. The one he’d given you when you’d first started going out. Because even though you couldn’t go on normal dates, go to arcades where he could win a plushie for you, he didn’t want you to miss out. Now the only thing that remained of the toy was a small pile of dust.

...

As soon as his fingers touched the toy Shigaraki regretted it, hell he regretted everything he’d said to you since he came into the room. He’d been so angry and stressed and you hadn’t even done something wrong but he’d taken his negative emotions out on you instead of dealing with them. Turning around to apologised his heart shattered. Looking down he saw the angry red colour of your arm as you furiously scrapped your nails across the soft skin, your silent streams of tears now turned to loud sobs. He knew to a degree you both shared this same unhealthy coping mechanism. He’d seen you do this before, but usually he wasn’t the cause. Usually he’d grasp your hand and hold it has he pressed soft kisses to the red-dotted and irritated skin. Asking you what was wrong as you fell into him, seeking out comfort.

He rushed to you, guilt and the desperate need to apologise flooding though him. “I’m sorry- I’m- bubba-“

...

You flinched at Shigaraki’s sudden movement, sobbing harder as he tried to cradle and sooth you the way he usually did. You didn’t want him there, in you space, it was too much, he was too much, you wanted him away.

wet choked noises escaped your lips as you pushed on his chest. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled, I sorry I’m so sorry-“

“don’t...” you pushed again at him, harder.

“Baby please, I’m sorry-“

“don’t... Dont. STOP. I SAID STOP DONT TOUCH ME DONT TOUCH ME DONT TOUCH ME!!” It was like your voice had finally broke though, panicked and shrill and desperate. Instantly Shigaraki let go of you, a look of total shock on his face. “I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE GO AWAY GO AWAY!!” you sobbed, the skin on your arm feeling like it was on fire as you scraped your nails across it.

“Ok. Hey, it’s ok I’m leaving now,” Shigaraki backed away towards the door, “you can come and find me later ok? I’m going now.” you watched him leave the room, closing the door as he left. For a few minutes all you could do was stand there, fingers slowing until you pulled them away from the angry skin. Shuffling over to the bed you grabbed your other stuffed animals, tears falling again at the lack of you favourite comfort plushie. Soft toys in hand you crawled beneath the bed, curling around them as you began to calm down in the smaller space.

Shigaraki sat on the old couch in the league’s shared space. After he’d left you in his room, he went straight to kurogiri, enlisting the man to help him replace the plushie he’d destroyed earlier.

Now, Shigaraki sat with two large plushies beside him, replaying what the older man had told him, “this won’t be enough of an apology.”

Footsteps had him looking up; Shigaraki froze in fear of scaring you off, as you padded toward him. Hugging a teddy bear tight to your chest you sat on the side of the couch furthest from him.

“Hi,” Shigaraki said tentatively after several seconds of silence.

“Hi,” you whispered back. Shigaraki’s heart broke again at how small you seemed; gaze repeatedly flicking to his, only to break away seconds later. After a couple moment of quiet Shigaraki spoke.

“I shouldn’t have treated you like that. You didn’t do anything wrong, I know you were just trying to make things easier for me.” Shigaraki felt so helpless as tears started to drip down your cheeks once again. “I should never have yelled, and I should never have decayed your plushie. There is no excuse for my behaviour. I- um. If... if you want to break up with me I’ll understand. I broke your trust and made you feel unsafe. So...whatever you decided I’ll support you in that decision. Even if it means breaking up, I just want you to do whatever will make you feel best.”

You nodded, then stood silently, and walked towards him. “Don’t touch me,” You stated as you climbed onto Shigaraki’s lap, resting against his chest and the crook of his kneck. You could hear his rapidly beating heart as he stayed still as a statue, just like you’d asked.

“I don’t want to break up with you Tomura.” His frame relaxed a little at your words. “But, it’s not going to be the same, at least for a little while. You really scared me.”

“I know, I’m so, so sorry.....what can I- is there something I can do to make it up to you?”

“Um,” you paused in thought, “I think I’m going to sleep in my room for a while. By myself.”

“Ok. Ok bub.”

“And, um, if you could ask for permission before you touch me, even if it’s just like, holding hands? And when we’re in the same space, if you could like.. announce things? before you do them, so I know what you’re doing, that would be nice.”

“I’ll make sure to do that from now on.”

“Thank you. Just for a little while ok?”

“I’ll do that for as long as you need me to bubba.” Silence fell between the two of you again.

You turned your head, looking to the left of your boyfriend. “Are those for me?”

Turning his head toward the two plushies Shigaraki nodded.

“Yeah. I know they won’t replace the one I decayed but I couldn’t just destroy something of yours and not.. you know...?”

Turning your head back into the crook of his neck you nodded. “.....Tomura?”

“Yeah?”

“Um.. I just wanted to say that the reason I reacted like that, is partly because of you, but partly because of... past trauma, that you triggered. I, um, I had someone in my life for a long time that would yell like that. I loved them but I was also really scared of them. So there are certain triggers that make me really freak out and yelling is one of them.”

Shigaraki sat still, processing what you’d said. He didn’t know you’d gone through something like that. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“I don’t really like to tell people. But yeah. Basically, you’re still definitely in the wrong for acting like that, but when I reacted it wasn’t 100% a reaction to you..... And the um, the boundaries? I‘ve set for a bit, are more in relation to them than you. I just don’t want to go through that again.”

“I understand. If I ever do something again that’s a trigger for you, even if it’s just something small, please let me know ok?”

“Ok...and same goes for you.”

“Hm?”

You sat back to look at Shigaraki better, “I know that a lot of bad things have happened to you, from what you’ve told me and what I’ve heard. So, if I ever do something that’s a trigger for you, let me know ok?”

“Um yeah, alright.” Shigaraki felt like he didn’t deserve you, but if you still wanted him he wasn’t going to argue. “I love you.” You looked down at your fingers that had wound around the fabric of Shigaraki’s shirt. “Hey, hey, it’s ok. You don’t have to say it back until you feel comfortable again, ok?”

“Ok.”

“What do you want to do now?”

“...can we watch a movie?”

“Of course bubba, I’m going to reach for the remote now ok?”

“Ok,” you said, cuddling back against you boyfriends chest.

[seasidepierre]

Formula One Drivers masterlist

organised by date: oldest ↠ newest

[word count]

full masterlist

only writing for charles, pierre, daniel, george and eventually esteban at the moment. do not request about lando, max, lewis.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ CHARLES LECLERC ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ 

one shots

let it be - charles leclerc [2.9k words]

You wake up to sunlight, smells of crepes and piano notes escaping from the living room. A whole aesthetics vibes. Not much plot, just pure fluff.

somebody i don’t know - charles leclerc [4.5k words]

Charles is so mad at his mistake during the race that you end up alone, trying to come up to terms with that side of him that you never really encountered. Angst on track.

she's not my girlfriend - charles leclerc [5,6k words] (prompted)

Spa 2021 is a real circus and as you’re strolling the drowning paddock, making sure to grab content for your team, Ferrari, one of the drivers is trying really, really hard not to show that he has the fattest crush on his coworker. Unfortunately for him, he’s already been caught by pretty much.. everyone.

the way - charles leclerc [2.3k words] (f1blr secret santa)

You had no idea what you fell into when you fell for Charles but truth is, you might be in way over your head.

she might be my girlfriend - charles leclerc [9,9k words] (part 2 to she’s not my girlfriend)

Ever since Spa, you’ve jumped head first into a new relationship with Charles. Except with everyone breathing behind your necks about your alleged crushes on each other, you kinda don’t want to tell anyone and decide to keep it a secret from everyone else.

series

sunkissed face - charles leclerc [7.2k words] + part 2 + part 3 + part 4 + part 5 + part 6 + part 7 + part 8 (prompted)

playlist + Halloween blurb + Valentine’s Day blurb + charles meeting the dad + charles’ pov of the first meeting

You’ve been in love with your best friend Harrison for quite a while now but when Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine go on a trip to Monaco for the F1 Grand Prix, you’re quick to tag along, even though it means spending time with Harrison’s girlfriend.

drabbles

trying not to draw attention after a win (she’s not my girlfriend drabble)

drunk charles

tink comforting charles (she’s not my girlfriend follow up)

adopting a pet with charles

teammate charles

longterm friends with benefits with charles

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ PIERRE GASLY ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

series

pull me back to you - pierre gasly [6.9k words] + part 2 + part 3 +  part 4 (prompted)

playlist + lipstick stains

Not going to lie, when Pierre came back home and suggested a night out with your group of friends, you hadn't expected your creetin of an ex-boyfriend to show up in the bar you were at. Faking a relationship with your best friend seems to be the easiest way to insure that you're left alone. Right?

drabbles

teammate pierre

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ DANIEL RICCIARDO ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

one shots

take my hand tonight - daniel ricciardo [8.1k words]

You really don’t want to go to that event that your work is throwing on but your bestie Dan is coming and he really wishes you could spend a night together.

raspberry - daniel ricciardo [4k words] (prompted)

Daniel is back for the summer break and you get your cuddle buddy back, which is amazing, of course. Until it's 35°C in your bedroom in the middle of the night and you'd rather melt that have to stay trapped in the blanket that Daniel can't sleep without.

cheers - daniel ricciardo [2.4k words]  (prompted)

After months of doubting himself and wandering new grounds alone, Daniel gets a shiny trophy and his girl back in his arms.

jealousy - daniel ricciardo [3.3k words]  (prompted)

You haven’t really put words onto what you’ve been sharing with Daniel for the past six months, after you’ve met him in a club, but he’s finally back to you and you really want to clear some things out.. That is if he stops sukling about whatever he’s decided to sulk about.

lie to me - daniel ricciardo [4.3k words] (prompted)

You and Daniel are going through a rough patch after he got caught in a delicate situation. In hindsight, maybe ranting through a cover on a very popular radio show wasn't the best idea you ever had..

plum - daniel ricciardo [3k words] (prompted)

Your big plans got derailed and you’re not sure how to deal with it. And it’s making Daniel pretty anxious too, if we’re being honest.

red currant - daniel ricciardo [5.2k words] (prompted) (follow up to plum)

Daniel got everything he wished for: his girl became his wife and she gave him the coolest kid he could have ever hoped for, who has the majority of the grid wrapped around her tiny finger.

i’m unwell, babe - daniel ricciardo [3.5k words] (prompted)

Daniel has had a very rought night and you've had to play nurse. Not in the fun way, though.

drabbles

anxiety attack with daniel

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ GEORGE RUSSELL ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

one shots

fever dream - george russell [9k words]

You’ve worked your ass off for years to become a motorsports journalist, so when you get sent to cover your first ever GP as the prime reporter, you’re ecstatic to finally realise your dream.. But a certain blue-eyed driver totally takes your breath away and you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ CARLOS SAINZ ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

drabbles

wake up call

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ F1 AESTHETICS ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

F1 drivers playing Among Us

F1 drivers reading fanfics

F1 drivers’ cats if they had one

F1 drivers’ cozy nights

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ COZY NIGHTS ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

cozy nights

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Unlucky in Love

masterlist

Gif credit to @ogledalo-moje-duse​

Summary: Spencer is unlucky in love - until he isn’t.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, some suggestive content

Word Count: 3.4k

           Spencer Reid is, by most people’s definition, unlucky in love.

           It wasn’t for lack of trying. In his early twenties, Spencer often caught himself fantasizing about being on the receiving end of some great storybook romance straight out of one of the classic novels on his bookshelf. On the rare occurrence where his mind was able to slow down long enough, Spencer would daydream about what his future partner would be like. Would they share his fondness for the written word, or his penchant for foreign cinema? Would they find his tendency to go off on tangents endearing and his less than fashionable style of dress charming? Spencer liked to think so, but the likelihood of finding someone who could accept him despite all of his quirks seemed low.

           But still he hoped, even though he knew hope was a dangerous thing. Hope gave life to the possibility of disappointment – and if there was one thing Spencer did not need more of, it was that.

           Spencer Reid was in love with the idea of love – obsessed with the idea of his soul intertwining with someone else’s. But with his thirtieth birthday quickly approaching and absolutely no prospective love interests in sight, Spencer was feeling more than a little disheartened. It certainly didn’t help that everywhere he turned, love was running rampant. Hotch had Beth, Penelope had Kevin, Jennifer had Will, and Morgan had… any number of possible partners. Emily and Rossi were both unattached, but happily so in a way that Spencer just couldn’t quite manage.

           It wasn’t that he didn’t like seeing the people around him happy – it was just that he couldn’t help but wonder when he’d finally get his chance at love.

           A month before Spencer’s thirtieth birthday, everything changes.

           When a member of Garcia’s victims’ support group goes missing, it’s all hands on deck at the BAU. It’s not that they’d give any less than one hundred percent on any other given day, but as with any case that hits close to home, everyone on the team is in a frenzy trying to put the pieces together. The thing that makes this case different is the fact that people from other departments are quick to lend a hand. It comes as no surprise to Spencer – Penelope is a social butterfly by nature. She made it her business to know and befriend everyone in the building. Her sunny disposition is hard not to love, and her current distress had garnered the support of more than a few non-team members.

           By the time the case wraps up, the bullpen is much busier and, much to Spencer’s chagrin, much louder than usual. The steady influx of people has Spencer’s head spinning and he can’t seem to focus on the papers sitting in front of him. What should take him thirty seconds to read has almost taken twenty minutes, and at this point the words on the paper are all running together. Spencer knows that it doesn’t help that he’s running on less than three hours of sleep, as evidenced by the frequency of his yawns. Worse even is the fact that his coffee cup is empty and no, he thinks, that simply will not do. With a sigh Spencer pushes away from his desk, bones creaking as he stands.

           With his coffee cup in hand, Spencer shuffles to the breakroom. He goes through the motions of preparing his drink, lazily stirring in the mountain of sugar before turning to leave.

           Spencer supposes that if it weren’t for the fact that he was horribly sleep deprived, he would’ve seen you walking down the hallway. But alas, Spencer’s alertness had been compromised by poor sleeping habits, and he isn’t aware of your presence until his body is colliding with yours and his hot coffee is dripping down the front of your blouse.

           “Ouch,” you whimper, and Spencer is immediately overwhelmed with guilt.

           “O-Oh my God, I am so sorry,” he splutters. Without waiting for a response, Spencer’s rushing into the break room and procuring a thick stack of napkins. The part of his brain that controls logical thinking is apparently overrun by the onset of his mortification, and in an act of absolutely panic, he begins to dab at the stains with one of the napkins.

           “I-I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m so so sorry,” Spencer stutters out, frantically attempting to blot the stain. “I’ll give you money for a new shirt. A-Actually, you should probably take this one off.  The best way to treat scalds is to immediately get the person away from the heat source. You should also run some cold water over it.”

           In his hurry to rectify his mistake, Spencer hadn’t managed to take a good look at you. When his eyes leave the stain in favor of looking at your face, he prepares himself to see anger there. What he doesn’t expect is for your face to be just as flushed as his, with eye brows raised in shock.

          Spencer also doesn’t expect this to be the moment he’s been waiting on his entire life, but one look into your eyes tells him this is it - this is your person.

           Stunned into a stupor, Spencer stills, eyes boring into your own. You’re even more beautiful than he’d dared to let himself imagine, but in all honesty that didn’t matter much. What matters is the fact that there’s a faint hint of smile lines etched into your skin, and your eyes are so inherently kind that Spencer has no doubt that you’re as gentle as you are alluring. Your benevolence is also evidenced by the fact that you hadn’t immediately begun to yell at him, and for that he is thankful.

           Spencer’s revelation renders him unable to form any semblance of thought, and before he knows it almost a solid minute of him gaping at you passes. You begin to squirm uncomfortably under his gaze.

           “I, uh, appreciate the help, and you seem like a nice enough guy, but your hand is on my boob and I kind of make it a point to not let strangers touch the goods. So, if you don’t mind,” you stammer, looking pointedly at his hand that is still pressing a napkin to your chest. Spencer recoils as if he’s the one that’s been scalded.

           “I-I didn’t mean to, um, t-touch your -,” Spencer gulps, “- chest. I swear I was just trying to get the stain out. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he chokes out. Spencer had imagined the moment he’d come face to face with his person a million times, and none of his daydreams had accounted for the possibility of him giving her second degree burns and inadvertently copping a feel. His emotions fell somewhere between mortification and elation.

           “Mm likely story,” you murmur, lips upturning into a smile that has Spencer feeling weak in the knees. Spencer practically swoons. “Do you make it a habit to ask strangers to take their tops off, or am I just special?”

           Oh God, had I really suggested that? Spencer cringes and wonders what good an IQ as high as his was when it seemed to fail him at times like these. Speaking to women had never been a specialty of his, despite Derek’s coaching, and Spencer was floundering to come up with an acceptable response.

           You are the most special woman in the world, probably. Nope – too creepy, and Spencer definitely doesn’t want to scare you off. Not when he’s been waiting the better part of thirty years to meet you.

           I didn’t mean to insinuate that you should take off your shirt, but I also wouldn’t particularly mind if you did. Even worse – that would certainly earn him a stern talking to from HR.

           Spencer decides to go for the honest approach.

           “I-I’m not sure how to answer that.”

           His honesty draws a laugh from you, and Spencer loves the sound so much that he decides then that he’ll never tell a lie again. You shake your head at him and reach for the napkins that he still has clutched in his hands.

           “What’s your name?” you ask him as you continue his earlier efforts to sop up the coffee.

           It’s probably the easiest question he’s ever been asked. That doesn’t stop him from making a fool out of himself, though.

           “I’m Doctor Spencer R-Reid. Uh, I’m Spencer. Y-You don’t have to call me Doctor.”

           Someone please put me out of my misery.

           Your eyes meet his again and he can tell that you’re holding back a laugh.

           “Okay, then, Spencer,” you say as you discard the napkins in a nearby trash bin. “I’m Y/N.” You punctuate your words with an outstretched hand, and before Spencer can think better of it, the usual spiel come tumbling out of his mouth.

           “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to kiss.”

           Your lower your hand and cock your head to the side.

           “Are you always this forward, Doctor Reid?” you tease him, eyes flashing amusedly.

           “I-I didn’t mean that we should kiss,” Spencer interjects, cringing at the way his voice has suddenly raised in pitch. “N-Not that I wouldn’t kiss you! I-I’m sure that kissing you would be really n-nice. I just meant that… you know. Germs.”

           Are you there, God? It’s me, Spencer. A hole opening up in the ground and swallowing me up would be great.

           To Spencer’s delight, you don’t seem offended in the slightest.

           “I cannot believe that they’ve been hiding you up here, Spencer Reid. I should’ve come to visit Penny years ago.”

           Wait – what?

           “You work here?”

           You nod.

           “I work on the floor below this one – sex crimes,” you explain.

           “For how long?”

           “Coming up on three years now.”

           Three years. You’d been right under Spencer’s nose for three years and he hadn’t the slightest clue. You’d parked your car in the same parking garage and taken the same elevator as he! How many times had your paths nearly crossed in the last three years? If he’d been just a little bit earlier or a little bit later getting into work, might the two of you met earlier? The possibility of it was maddening.

           “Oh, wow. I-I’ve never seen you,” Spencer mutters lamely. But miraculously, you don’t think he’s lame, if your response is any indication.

           “Nor I you, Doc. It’s a shame, too. You’re a funny guy.”

           Spencer Reid has been called a lot of things in his lifetime – funny was never one of them.

           “Y-Yeah. I’m a real riot at parties,” he deadpans.            “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” you hum, and Spencer really hopes that you mean it. “Would you mind escorting me to Penelope’s office?”

           Spencer nods, and the two of you fall in step together. Spencer’s wracking his brain again for something – anything- he could say to fill the silence. Thankfully, you don’t seem quite as inept at conversing as he, and you beat him to it.

           “You look a little young yourself, Spencer. How long have you worked here?”

           “Uh, I’ve actually worked here for almost eight years. I started when I was twenty-two.”

           Your eyebrows raise in shock.

           “Twenty-two, huh? That makes you – what? Thirty now? I wouldn’t put you a day past twenty-five,” you muse, and Spencer isn’t quite sure what to make of that. You must pick up on the conflicted look on his face, because you clarify. “That’s a good thing, Doc. I hope I look as good as you do when I’m thirty.”

           Spencer has to remind himself how to breathe.

           “I’m not thirty yet. Technically I have twenty-three more days. I could have a rapid decline in attractiveness by then.”

           Spencer’s not usually one to try to be funny, but she seems to have a good sense of humor and he wants to impress you in any way he can.

           “I guess I’ll have to swing back by in twenty-three days and find out.”

           The two of you come to a stop in front of Penelope’s office and Spencer tries not to look as disappointed as he feels. He doesn’t want your meeting to come to an end – not when there’s so much about you that he wants to know. He wants to ask about your opinion on books and obscure foreign films and most importantly, Spencer wants to know what you think about him. Did meeting him affect you in the same way it did him? Did you secretly wish to make this moment last, too?

           Spencer wants to say so much, but he can’t. He’s too awkward and too scared and too nervous to find the right words. So instead, he gives you a tight-lipped smile.

           “I’m sorry about your blouse. Can I please give you the money to buy a new one? I feel like it’s the least I can do.”

           “Absolutely not. It’s really not that big of a deal. Didn’t even really care for the shirt, if I’m being honest. Red really isn’t my color.”

           Spencer wants to tell you how wrong you are – that he’s infinitely certain that you’d look irresistible in any color – but he doesn’t.

           You reach for the door knob, and Spencer’s shoulders slump.

           “It was nice meeting you, Spencer.”

           And then you’re gone, and Spencer can’t help but think that he royally fucked up the most important introduction of his entire life.

--

           When Spencer envisioned how his life would look at age thirty, he’d imagined it being a lot different than it is now. He’d hoped to use his intelligence for something great – finding a way to cure Alzheimer’s had been his main aspiration. Yet, here he was, thirty years old with nothing more than three PhDs to his name. He’d accomplished nothing of great significance, and the idea of having wasted his intelligence was eating away at him.

           In short, Spencer Reid was in a bit of a funk.

           It didn’t help that he hadn’t seen you since that fateful day in the bullpen. Spencer had contemplated paying you a visit, but the lingering embarrassment over his actions kept him from reaching out. He didn’t think he could handle how badly a rejection from you would hurt, so instead he sulked around the office and wallowed in his own self-deprecation.

           Spencer’s birthday wasn’t something he tended to advertise. From a young age, he’d chosen to observe it silently. Usually, his mother would forget, and he never really had any friends to celebrate with, so the day was always rather unimportant to him. Perhaps he would order takeout and gorge himself on greasy food while he sat alone in his apartment. It had been good enough for him last year, and he supposed it would have to suffice this year as well.

           He made it a point not to mention it to his coworkers, and the day passed by just as any other day. By the time five o clock rolled around, Spencer was waving a goodbye to his coworkers and heading out the door. As he waits for the elevator, he debates on whether to order Thai food or pizza for dinner.

           Just as he settles on Thai, the elevator doors open.

           “Oh, thank God, I was worried that you had left already!”

           Before Spencer can get over the initial shock of seeing you, you’re stepping out of the elevator and into his space, an excited smile on your lips. And then you’re holding out your hand, and Spencer’s almost moved to tears when he sees you wielding a single chocolate cupcake.

           “I wasn’t sure if you’d like chocolate or vanilla better, so I went with my gut. I get the feeling you’re a chocolate kind of guy,” you say, eyes shining as you look up at him. “So, was I right?”

           “You brought this for me?” Spencer asks, voice barely above a whisper. He can’t fathom it – that you had spared him any thought past your initial meeting. Spencer had surely expected you to forget about him entirely. Either that, or you’d written him off as someone to be avoided.

           You nod.

           “Of course, I did. It’s your birthday. Everyone deserves something sweet on their birthday.” You pause, the smile dropping from your face. “It is your birthday, right? I didn’t miss it, did I?”

           Spencer is slow to shake his head.

           “N-No, you didn’t miss it. I’m just surprised you remembered.”

           You chuckled softly.

           “You’re very unforgettable, Doctor Reid,” you say, and Spencer’s heart flutters in his chest. “And you didn’t answer my question.” You gesture to the cupcake expectantly.

           “Chocolate is my favorite,” Spencer breathes out, raising a shaky hand and taking it from her. “I… Thank you. You didn’t have to do this. It’s not that big of a deal.”

           “Are you kidding me? You’re turning thirty. That’s a very big deal, Doc.,” you argue, and Spencer gives you a tentative smile.

           “If you say so.”

           “I do,” you smirk, before hitting the button to open the elevator doors. “So, do you have any big plans to celebrate?”

           The doors open and you and Spencer file into the elevator together– an event three years in the making.

           “Not really. I was just going to order some food and stay in,” Spencer says before taking a bite of the cupcake. It tastes wonderful – better than a store-bought cupcake could ever be. This cupcake was undoubtably made from scratch, and the thought of you taking the time out of your day to bake something for him makes him feel weak at the knees. Pair that with the way you’re looking up at him and Spencer worries he might collapse.

           “What kind of food?”

           “Thai,” Spencer says around the mouthful of cake.

           “Mm,” you hum. “You know – I happen to love Thai food. And I also happen to not have any plans for the evening.”

           Even Spencer, who struggles to decipher the simplest of social cues, can deduce that you are insinuating that you want to spend the evening with him. He’s thankful, then, that he had already swallowed the bite of cupcake, because there’s no doubt in his mind that he’d have choked on it. Spencer gapes at you, but your gaze is unwavering and your body language gives no indication that you were joking.

           “D-Do… Do you want to, uh, come over?” Spencer trips over his words more times than any grown man should, but in his defense, he isn’t exactly well versed in matters like this.

           “Do you want me to come over?”

           “Yes.” Spencer answers so quickly that it should be embarrassing, but it’s hard to feel anything but happy when you’re looking at him like that.

           “Then in that case, I thought you’d never ask,” you sigh dramatically, and then the door opens up and you link your arm with his. “You know, I was beginning to think I’d never see you again. I’ve been driving Penelope crazy asking about you, Doc.”

           “You’ve been asking about me?” Spencer asks, incredulous.

           “Absolutely. It’s not every day that you meet a guy who has the audacity to feel you up and ask you to undress within the first five minutes. I just had to know more,” you tease, and Spencer can’t help but laugh. Despite the cold air of the parking garage, Spencer feels warm – warmer than he’s ever felt and he knows that it has everything to do with the way you’ve pressed yourself against his side.

           “In that case, I’m very glad I spilled my coffee on you,” Spencer says and you let out a snort.

           “Yeah, I could’ve done without that part. And the part where you called me germy.”

           “I did not mean it like that,” Spencer insists. You hum and detach yourself from him, and Spencer instantly misses the contact.

           “Because it’s your birthday, I’ll let you off the hook,” you announce, making your way to the other side of his car, all while never taking your eyes off him. “And if you’re lucky, birthday boy, I might just be willing to test that theory of yours.”

           Spencer cocks his head to the side.

           “Theory?”

           You nod, and the smile that creeps across your face is the best birthday present he’s ever gotten.

           “You said you thought kissing me would be nice. I think we should find out.”

           Spencer Reid is, by most people’s definition, unlucky in love. But as he steals glances at you on the way to his apartment, his chest swells with a hope that maybe – just maybe – his luck is about to change.

[pepperonijem]

When He Sees Me || Peter Parker

MASTERLIST

Pairing:  Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: um peter might be a little ooc and that’s because i’m writing about my unfortunate crush but i basically just changed his name to peter parker any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental <3 

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: What if when he sees me, I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door and I can’t close it? Catching feelings for your best friend is never easy.

A/N: This fic is sponsored in part by @bitchassbucky, @spiderrpcrker, @shurisneakers, @midnightsunfae, and @blackberrybucky who instead of shutting down my feelings, hyped me up to turn my crush and some of the things that we’ve done into a fic <3 this goes out to anyone who has ever started crushing on their best friend.

Oh God, please don’t walk this way, please don’t wa-

“Oh, hey Peter!” The crack in your voice betrayed your attempt at a casual greeting, despite your efforts to disguise it with a cough. “How’s it-- how’s it hanging?”

“You good?” Peter smiled at you but his eyebrow quirked upwards in concern. “I just wanted to make sure we’re still on for tonight?” His concern faded into a wide grin as you nodded in response. Peter gave you a quick goodbye before walking away towards his next class.

As soon as you saw him turn into the classroom, you turned to face your closed locker, letting out a groan before setting your forehead against it. Peter had asked if you were good, and although you nodded, the butterflies in your stomach threatened to give you away. You were very much not good.

A tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts and you turned to see your friend MJ. “What did Peter do this time?” MJ asked. For the last month, every interaction with Peter -- there have been a lot -- ended this way: a groan of defeat and a few welted lines on your forehead from holding your head against your locker. You turned to give MJ a dirty look, annoyed by the amused smirk on her face.

“Absolutely nothing,” you sighed, finally lifting your head up to talk to her. You opened your locker as you talked, not wanting to make eye contact with MJ as you confessed your feelings. “He just… smiled… and everything went downhill from there.” You rolled your eyes as MJ laughed. “It’s getting worse, I have no idea how I’m going to get through tonight.”

MJ laid a hand on your shoulder. “Well we’ll all be there,” she offered. “And if it makes you feel better, no one’s even noticed. Just act normal and you’ll be fine.” She shrugged her shoulders as if that was the easiest thing to do. But you couldn’t act normal anymore, not with Peter. Not when normal means resting your head against his shoulder every time he makes you laugh. Not when normal means borrowing his clothes when his aunt May tells you to stay the night every time a study session runs too long. Not when normal means wearing the extra sweater he keeps for you because you always forget yours.

Normal was when you didn’t feel butterflies everytime he looked at you, before your curious heart got the better of you and you began to wonder what it might be like to hold his hand. Now, things were just weird. At least for you. Nothing on the surface had changed, no one noticed how your heart rate picked up every time Peter touched you, or how you suddenly felt hot whenever he winked at you. But inside your heart was navigating uncharted territory in your friendship, trying to traipse along the thin line that separated how things have always been and how you suddenly wish things could be.

Pulling your textbook out of your locker, you shut the locker door a just a little bit more aggressively than necessary. MJ gave you a small hug before linking her arm through yours as you walked to your next class.

For the rest of the day, you found it impossible to focus on anything. Instead of taking down notes on George Orwell in English, you found yourself absentmindedly doodling hearts. Everything just reminded you of Peter and your own confusing feelings. Thankfully, you didn’t share any classes with him today, leaving you enough solitude to think about just why you were so frustrated with yourself.

Logically, you knew there was nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. You’ve had plenty of crushes before, a few of which reflected a temporary lapse in judgement on your part. You remember telling Peter about each of them, gushing about the most basic acts of human decency as he rolled his eyes and told you that you deserve someone better, but nevertheless helping you pick up the pieces every time someone broke your heart. That, you realized, was what scared you the most.

If you were to date, and then break up… well who would be there with kind words and your favorite boba when everything fell apart? The thought of losing your best friend over emotions, feelings, left far too much to chance. Was the idea of holding his hand, of hearing him call you his enough to make you risk the friendship that has always been enough for you? It should be enough for you, you reminded yourself. There was too much on the line and not enough guarantee for you to risk it.

With that determination in mind, you steeled yourself for the rest of the day, determined to put your feelings to rest and go back to normal.

Unfortunately, that plan quickly fell through.

You got to the restaurant a half hour late with only a really good nap to blame. You felt bad that your friends were waiting for you, but when you got there, you found an empty spot next to Peter, where your usual order of ramen was waiting and against your will, the butterflies flew rampant. The noodle that hit Peter’s nose as he ate while waving you over made you laugh as you sat down beside him.

“I got you your usual,” Peter explained in between bites. You smiled and thanked him before digging in. Peter had done this for you many times, and you willed your body to fight against the flutter of your heart.

Thankfully, the rest of your dinner was going well, and everyone had plenty of stories to tell. MJ had begun doing more portraits of people in distress and revealed her latest piece -- a portrait of Peter slurping up a noodle only to get a rogue drop of soup in his eye. Ned and Betty were off again, but of course they tried to keep it civil (they were on again by the end of the night) so no one would have to pick sides. Flash teased Peter about the B that he made on his literature exam yesterday over poetry and Peter’s face turned beet red.

“Hey,” Peter began, attempting to defend himself. “I totally could’ve made a perfect score. I was just distracted.” He shrunk down in his seat a little bit, and the rest of you laughed teasingly.

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Flash continued. “You’ve been drawing little hearts all over your notes, dude, it’s unsettling.” He rolled his eyes and took another bite of his food, swirling his fork around the bowl trying to grab as much noodle as possible.

Across the table, you and MJ made eye contact, a look of surprise between the both of you. You tried to signal her to say something before a weird silence fell on the table, but she was not reading your cues. Thankfully, Peter spoke again.

“H-hearts?” He repeated. “Why would I be drawing hearts on my notes?” Although he tried to play it off, the rise in pitch gave him away. He scrunched his face in exaggeration.

“Actually,” Betty began. “Now that I think about it, you were doing that in Spanish class too.” You glanced over at Peter who looked at you with panic in his eyes. You took a long sip of water, suddenly feeling a layer of sweat form at the back of your neck. “Wonder what that’s about.” She shrugged and turned to Ned asking if he wanted to split a slice of cheesecake with her.

Before Peter had a chance to try to defend himself once again, the waitress appeared. “Are you all ready for the check?” she asked.

“Yeah, but we’re splitting the check,” Flash replied. Betty rolled her eyes in response. “What? Just because I’m rich does not mean I have to share the wealth.”

The waitress nodded in response. As she was leaving Peter called her back. “Oh wait,” he called. “I’ll also be paying for this order,” he gestured to your bowl. She smiled at him and headed for the counter.

“Peter,” you smiled. “I have money, I can pay for myself.” Although Peter usually had to order for you, he didn’t usually pay for you, unless it was a special occasion.

“I know, I just wanted to be nice,” he responded, giving your shoulder a playful nudge. “Plus, you seem like you’ve had a rough week. Every time I see you, you seem to be lost in thought. What’s been on your mind?” The sentence came out casually, but the furrow in his brows revealed how concerned he actually has been. Peter was nothing if not observant, like he could sense things better than most people.

You let out a sigh, unsure of what to say. You didn’t want to lie to Peter, but you also didn’t want to tell him the truth, that you were thinking about him-- well, your feelings for him. Just when it seemed like he had backed you into a corner, however, the waitress had returned with the checks, and the question left unanswered.

After dinner, the six of you went to Flash’s house to watch a movie. He had a home theater and early access to new movies and he loved to remind everyone of that. Not that any of you minded, especially if it got you free popcorn and a movie out of it. Every week, a different person got to select the movie and today, unfortunately, was MJ’s turn.

You loved her, of course, but you absolutely detested her taste in movies. Mostly because she was a horror junkie, and you were absolutely not. Her last few turns however had been spent making sure you all had seen all of the Shrek movies. But today, she picked a horror film. Something about demons and the like. Peter and Betty cheered at her selection as Flash groaned. You settled into the couch in the back of the room and grabbed a blanket. Ned and Betty sat together on a smaller loveseat, and MJ sat on the floor in front of Flash’s seat, the perfect spot to be able to scare him with a single touch on his leg.

Peter sat down beside you, handing you a tub of popcorn and a soda. He pulled the blanket over his own lap as he sat criss-cross on the couch. You tried not to pay attention to how his leg was brushing against yours under the blanket, instead focusing on the screen as the room went dark.

The movie had just started, but you could already feel yourself tense up in expectation.The music was coming to a crescendo and you knew something was already going to happen. You didn’t realize just how tightly your fists had balled together in your lap till you jumped at the sound of Peter’s soft voice at the shell of your ear. “Are you okay?” He asked.

He tried to hold in a chuckle as you almost bounced the tub of popcorn off your lap. He grabbed it from you and set it to the side. “Look,” he pointed to the screen where the creature’s head had just rotated a full circle as it crawled up the wall in pursuit of the main character. “That thing kinda looks like the spider from that kid’s tv show, but not as creepy.” You let out a laugh, a little louder than you meant, and Ned turned to tell you to shut up.

The small joke was enough to dissipate the anxiety you felt towards the movie, but unfortunately only heightened your feelings about Peter. But he noticed how your fists unclenched and how your shoulders relaxed once you laughed, so he continued to tell you whispered jokes for the rest of the movie. Each time he noticed your body tensing, he tried his best to make you laugh, and god, how could you stop yourself from those butterflies anymore?

At the height of the movie, you found yourself with your hands over your ears, and eyes squeezed shut, unable to even look at the screen or hear a joke. When Peter realized a joke wouldn’t be enough, he slid closer to you and pulled you into his side and you buried your face into the crook of his neck. Before you had a chance to think about the spicy notes of his cologne or the softness of his skin, the sound of a high pitched scream in the movie caused you to jump with a gasp. In response, Peter wrapped his arms around you tight, with a gentle shush.

It was only after the music began to die down that you opened your eyes again, only to find Peter’s eyes fixed on the screen. Now that the worst was over, you no longer had an excuse to be in his embrace the way you were. You began to wiggle your way out of his arms, attracting his attention.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Peter I’m a big kid,” you smiled, teasing. “You don’t have to hold me like a baby.” Peter let out a soft laugh before relaxing his hold on you just a bit.

“Okay,” he relented. “I’ll just hold you like this then.” He began to shift so that your head was on his shoulder, and one of his arms looped under yours, intertwining your fingers. The smile on his face was calm as if this was something the two of you did all the time, but his racing heartbeat reminded you this was something new.

The two of you remained that way for the rest of the movie. By the time the soft music began to play in the credits, you could hear light snoring from everyone else in the room. However, you and Peter made absolutely no efforts to untangle yourselves from each other. It was as if you were worried that once the lights came back on, you would never find yourself like this again, and what a sad idea that was. Normal, would never be enough for you again, not when you know now how much better life could be like this.

You weren’t sure if it was the adrenaline from the jump scares, or the sureness of his hand in yours, like it’s always belonged there, that gave you the courage to finally break the silence.

“Peter,” you breathed out, lifting your head from his shoulder, but not letting go of his hand.

He turned to you, with a look of concern, afraid of what you might say.

“Kiss me.” The words came out so softly and so quickly that you weren’t sure if you said it at all.

“Finally,” he whispered as his lips fell against yours, softly and slowly. He pulled away after what felt like hours and yet not nearly enough time. His hands reached up to cup your face. “I like you,” he admitted. “So much.”

Suddenly, you felt it. You felt exactly what it must feel like to fly, to let yourself go without worrying about gravity or anything else. The risks were still there, the numbers hadn’t changed, but you knew that no matter what happened next, just having the chance to fly would always be enough.

[kyoomiii]

♡ Kiss and makeup [hcs]

-  ➣. . . ❝ Hey bby ~ ive got a request if its alright! A scenario for making up after a fight with Oikawa please! Tysm! 🤍🤍 ❞

― 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: @ anonie ​ ―

- ✎ 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 ❝ oikawa, atsumu, and sakusa ❞

- [ 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): heavy mentions of fighting/arguing ]

- ⚘ 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 ❝ fluff, angst ❞

❝ hi everyone, i’m not dead- c: ❞

-yoomi ♡

Reconciling with Oikawa takes time

He has a lot of pride and often refuses to admit he’s wrong

Hates apologizing first, but will begrudgingly do it if he has to

It may take time but when he does come to you, he comes to you completely raw and vulnerable

He’s someone emotional and speaks with his heart when it really matters to him

Overall, he’s stubborn and prideful, but at the end of the day he recognizes that none of it is worth losing you.

After making up he’s very clingy and wants to spend as much time with you as he can.

Expect lots of love and tears because he will cry if you cry, and even if you don’t he will still cry

.·:·.☽✧☾.·:·.

The little tap that comes from the window pane is the only thing that draws your attention at this time of night. Turning your head to look at the clear glass, you’re thoroughly surprised to see Oikawa’s face, his cheeks slightly puffed out as he struggles to hold himself up against the window sill. 

You’re quick to hop up from your bed, rushing to open your window as you hurriedly wipe away the trail of tears that have stained your face for the past 2 weeks. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him or that you weren’t happy to see him. However, while that may be so you were still mad at him.

“What are you doing here Tooru.” You huff, arms crossed over your chest as you try to uphold your stern exterior.

“I came to apologize-” He freezes, eyes squinting as he scans your appearance with nothing but the small glimmer of the moon, “Have you been crying?”

Eyes wide and mouth almost agap you frantically shake your head, “No.”

Oikawa feels his chest tighten, guilt consuming his entire being as he takes in your exhausted appearance. It’s pure instinct, but he feels himself reach out to brush your cheeks, the slight tenderness left after so many spilled tears only breaks him further.

“I’m sorry y/n… You’re sad because of me and I promised myself I’d be the reason why you smile.” He scoffs, disappointment in himself evident in the way his eyes stare into your own. Crystal like tears welling up in pools of chocolate.

Sighing you offer him the best smile you can muster, “I will always be worried about you Tooru. You push and push until you can’t take anymore and it scares me. I know volleyball is something you love, and I support you in your goals. But you have to know your limits.” 

His tears finally spill, painting his cheeks in clear streaks, “I’m sorry…”He chokes out, the longing and desperation seeping into every word.

“It’s okay.” You hum pressing a kiss to his forehead, “I forgive you.”

...

“-Now that you guys are finished can you please get off my shoulders Shittyawa.”

Through grateful tears and a snotty nose Oikawa glances down at his best friend who is currently supporting said setter on his shoulders.

“Way to ruin the mood Iwa-chan you brute.”

“Shut up.”

Atsumu is childish to say the least. He has pride, and much like Oikawa he doesn’t like admitting he’s wrong

Arguments are one thing, but when Atsumu fights he fights with his whole being saying what he thinks only to feel guilty later

Him and Osamu argue and fight a lot, and when they apologize it’s always indirect or silent

He’s use to quickly sweeping things under the rug because of that

At first he kind of expects it to be the same with you, until he realizes that simply isn’t the case

Nevertheless it’s still pretty easy to make up with him because he’s not one to hold grudges. Plus he’s clingy and would probably die without constant affection

.·:·.☽✧☾.·:·.

Atsumu can’t help but wonder exactly how he had gotten into this position. Perhaps it’s his knack for being an asshole, or maybe it’s the jealousy he feels towards other guys despite the fact that he has fangirls trailing after him like lost puppies. Nevertheless, he finds himself missing your presence, craving your touch and attention.

“What do ya mean?”

“I said no Atsumu.”

He’s confused to say the least, why won’t you hold him? Are you still mad? It’s been awhile hasn’t it?

“y/n… Are ya really still mad?”

“Yes I’m still mad Atsumu, what you said really hurt me.” You can feel it bubble within you. The frustration and the hurt that has lingered, harbored in your mind for days on end, “I don’t care much for your jealousy. But it's the fact that you think our issues can just be pushed aside. You always ignore the problem, and I’m tired Tsumu… I’m tired.”

Your words set his body ablaze. Atsumu feels breathless as he hears the slight choke of your voice. He reaches out to you, uncertain in his touch as the pads of his fingers meet your uniform. His fingers grasp the fabric, desperate in the way that they curl so tightly around your shirt.

You miss him, you really do. His touch, his smile, his antics. Miya Atsumu’s presence is addicting and you find yourself craving him everyday, even more so now that you’ve spent so much time pushing him away.

“I’m real sorry y/n- I really am. I pulled a shitty ass move and I shouldn’t have treated you that way. I just-” He inhales tilting his head back to hide away the tears that build in his eyes, “I’m an ass and I know that so If you’re done with me, I’ll respect your choices...” 

Fighting with Atsumu isn’t an entirely rare occurrence but you always find a way to reconcile. However, this time feels different. A blooming fear settles itself in his chest. The thought of you leaving terrifies him, but for once he lets go of his ego, his pride. If it’s what you want he’ll live with it. Just as long as you’re happy.

Sighing, you turn to look at him, “I’ve missed you Tsumu.” You hum softly as you gently place your hand on his cheek.

Atsumu leans into your touch, basking in your warmth, as he feels a rush of relief flood through his body, “I’ve missed ya too baby…”He feels like he can breathe again, his body slumping against your own in his moment of shock.

“You’re such a jerk you know?” 

“Only yer jerk- I really do love ya y/n.”

“I love you too Atsumu.”

Much like Oikawa and Atsumu, apologies take time with Sakusa

Not because he refuses to admit he’s wrong, but simply because sometimes he doesn’t know nor does he realize that he’s being a bit much 

It takes time for him to register that he’s being an ass, because while he can be a bit dense he’s not completely oblivious

Reconciling is a quiet, long, and slow process, neither one of you knowing how to approach the other

But nevertheless, both of you are still there quietly mending things as you go

Though it’s a frustrating process. You don’t know where either of you are standing. It’s one big mystery that lingers in the form of tension as you sleep with your backs to one another

Touches filled with longing and days of silence grow tiring. One of you has to crack before things return to how they were

.·:·.☽✧☾.·:·.

Sakusa knows he’s not the easiest person to be around, and that only makes him that much more grateful that you love him so willingly, so easily. It makes him feel full, filled to the brim with the warmth that you give him. 

So at first, he doesn’t understand why you turn your back to him, why you won’t look at him, why you don’t speak to him properly. You’re there but you're not, and he admits he’s the same. It’s straining. Both of you are physically there, but it feels so empty and lonely, like falling into a void of nothing.

He misses you, more than he knows how to say. Especially now as he watches you get ready for another night of silence. 

And he’s right, the room falls into a daunting quiet. The tension in the air is so thick it’s almost suffocating. His body aches to hold you close against him- the only person he feels comfortable embracing so dearly.

“Do you plan on staying so far away?” The sudden break of silence is almost startling. It leaves your body tense, even Sakusa himself is shocked.

“I don’t know Kiyoomi…” And you really don’t. Granted even if you are upset with him you can’t bring yourself to resent him, you know you would be lying to yourself if you said you did. However, at the same time you don’t know if you could let yourself cave so easily.

Sakusa acts faster than he can think, shifting to face your back. Hesitantly, he reaches for you. Fingers delicately brushing against the fabric of your shirt, “I’m sorry.”

It’s overwhelming, all the emotions that flood through your very being. Your body begins to shake as you’re racked with tears, quickly turning to bury yourself in his much needed embrace, “I’m sorry too Omi.” You sob, soaking his shirt much to his distaste- though he can’t bring himself to comment.

And you stay like that for the rest of the night. Basking in the warmth of one another. Holding on so tightly as if to make up for lost time.

He wonders how he was lucky enough to find someone like you.

[oven-thermometer]

Hello! Are you going to continue the "SFW ABCs" for the rest of the horsemen? The Death's one was sooo good

SFW ABCS of War

Author's notes: anon you physically made my day 😭🥺

I'll try do an ABC between chapters of Unwelcome Guest, Strife's one will probably be next :)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

War isn't really one for words, so acts of service is definitely the main show of affection. He'll help you reach things, move things for you or just do any small thing he can think of that'll make your day better and let him see that smile.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Like with Death, his friends are mainly from work – again like Death, he is incredibly loyal. If you ever need anything he's there to help, but don't expect hugs and kisses. If he's your friend he'll have a certain amount of respect for you that means he sees you as an equal - someone that can fend for themselves.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Loves cuddles. I cannot stress this enough. This man is so touch-starved that the moment he realizes that "Oh wait. You're my partner now. I can hug you." *cue little happy War dance*

Won't let you go. Bear hugs and instinctively being the big spoon are his specialty.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Not very good at cooking or cleaning, since he can't get into most small places or work very delicately - but he means well. He absolutely wants to settle down though, it's soft War hours all the way for him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He wouldn't want to torture you, if he wants to break up with you then he's going to sit you down and have a conversation about it. He doesn't want any hard feelings so this is the easiest way to do it.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He's very calm about getting married, he knows he loves you with all his heart - so why would he stop at just becoming your partner?? He wants to be with you forever, and if he has to go through marriage for that so be it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

To him, you are as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Sure he'll pick you up and give you bone crushing hugs, but the moment you seem like you're in real pain he'll simply let you go and settle for soft head pats instead. He'll be soft emotionally as well, always there to listen or for comfort.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

War is somehow always warm, he's like a hot water bottle and never tires of being there whenever you need him. He enjoys you massaging his scalp, and often just grabs your hands and quietly places them on his head as a silent plea.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He'll wait for you to say it first, mainly out of insecurity and being unsure of how to express himself. It happened after about 6 months of officially calling yourself together, you were laying on his chest as you buried your face in his hair - War was gently stroking your back and drawing absent-minded shapes. You were sleepy, he knew that, but it didn't change the fact that you whispered how much you loved him right next to his ear. He smiled and hugged you closer, whispering it back.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He may seem stony on the outside and if he doesn't care, but War is very unsure of a lot of things. He knows you love him and he loves you but the moment you seem like you're ignoring him he goes into a bad mood - he wants to be near you and it makes him upset when you don't want that.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He had never been in relationship before you, he hadn't even thought of it. So of course he's never kissed anyone either. He's a quick learner though, and he's found his favourite places to kiss you are on the forehead and shoulder. They seem so pure and loving to him, like he's shrouding you in every way he loves you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's never really interacted with them, but he admires their brashness and

bravery. If you have any younger siblings or a small child you take care of he is more than willing to babysit and tell them the less gory versions of his battle stories. Although the first time you said "babysit" he got very worried because his mind went straight to having to restrain a child. Massively confused.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He prefers to sleep in, he gets very tired from his work so having to lie in bed next to you for an extra hour really isn't seen as a loss to him. When you two do eventually get up, he always insists on a morning walk either before or after breakfast. If you two go out to get breakfast and walk to where you'll have it, he'll do another little internal happy dance.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He'll spend it watching whatever you do; whether you two watch shows together, read, or maybe you have some extra work to do. He'll be there to sit next to you and simply be content in your presence. He doesn't mind whatever you're doing, as long as you're there.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

After you work through the steel cage around his heart and mind, you'll get to see a very calm and easy-going War. He's had enough worries in his life, so he deserves to be a bit care-free. If you met during the apocalypse, he'll keep up his mean demeanour for a lot longer. He needs you to be safe, and being soft is a weakness he can't afford for you to see and worry about. Afterwards, he will calm down since he doesn't have to worry as much about you being murdered.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

During battle he can snap like Samael stepping on a toothpick, with people it's the same. But with his friends, he's slightly more tolerable. With you? He can wait an eternity for whatever you need. He will help you if you need it but he wants to see you succeed as well.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He can't remember as well as Death, but he has a fairly good memory. He doesn't forget an anniversary or birthday (he would never forgive himself if he did) but he might forget bigger things - like when you have appointments, events or where you said you were going. Small things? He'll internalize and keep with himself forever. Oh that book you said you really liked? He's already read it and bought you every sequel from Azrael. Your charger is broken? He'll begrudgingly ask Strife where to get one.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you said "I love you" is one of his most cherished moments, but it's a close second only to the moment he realized he had feelings for you. As you two sat in front of a fire, the orange light illuminated your frame and it seemed to make your eyes dance with curiosity as you watched the flames. You looked so, content and calm - and it made him feel... Happy? He was happy seeing you happy. Yes. He liked that.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

War is extremely protective. If anyone's bothering you he's not hesitating to make death threats. Or use Death as a threat.

If you try to protect him though, he finds it as endearing. Obviously you can't do much about the Council or the demon kings saying they'll murder him, but if someone insults him or makes him feel like less of a person you're always right there to defend him. It makes him feel loved to be the one being defended, you care that much about him and it makes him fall in love all over again.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He doesn't have much in the way of money or romanticism but he tries his best. He probably gets a lot of help from Fury or Strife but he also has a some connections to a few particular Makers or demonic merchants that could maybe get you that one

present that makes your heart melt. "All hypothetical really." he'd tell you with a sly grin.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

When you and War have an argument, he gets a bit lost in the swirl of his own emotions and storms out before he can snap and shout at you. The last thing he wants is to see that terrified look in your eyes as his booming voice tears into your soul, so he leaves. Even if you were in the middle of a sentence. He can't listen anymore and he needs to go calm down. He hopes you will too so you can both have a conversation rather than a screaming match.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not at all really concerned with what he looks like. Before he was just a killing machine, so what does anyone care if he looked terrible? Admittedly, sometimes he'd look at himself in the reflection of a river or something particularly shiny and frown. No one had ever told him how he looked, and he didn't have a point of reference - so even he was unsure. If you compliment War, even in passing, his heart will squeeze and he'll have to stop in his tracks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

If he ever lost you for whatever reason he'd lose himself. He'd turn back into the rampaging beast he was when he was young. You calm the ever-growing storm in him after all. War would also probably fall out of contact with his siblings, not caring for the consequences.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

War is a huge blush boy, he goes redder than his clothes but he can't stop himself. He gets very embarrassed if you point it out, but he'll get you back for it. Be warned, he will not stop tickling you until you've surrendered.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

War doesn't really care for appearances, or judging people on them. He values someone who doesn't mind his sporadic tendencies to need love and physical affection. Someone who won't judge him or turn away when he trusts someone enough to open up and show a softer side. He wants an accepting soul.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

This man sleeps like a log. He also snores a bit, but it's cute. It sounds less annoying and more like a fuzzy bear in the woods. Your fuzzy bear. A very heavy sleeper, will also probably unintentionally trap you under his arm and only let you go in the morning.

[bonelessghoul]

Until My Last Breath

requested by: @just-deka

summary: A heartrender in the rankings of the Crows and with an unspoken relationship with Kaz Brekker finds herself in trouble during a heist when there is a run in with the Dime Lions. When Kaz fights his way in to get her out of the mess it became, the two end up trapped and fighting for their lives. But in their last moments, the truth comes out. 

note: LMAO THIS WAS THE BEST WAY I COULD SUM UP THE REQUEST, but I was genuinely panicking at the end of this hoping this turned out the way you wanted it to!! Hope you enjoy :)

~

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as they stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

~

The chandeliers spaced throughout the high ceiling of the Crow Club gave a vintage touch with its dim light, making the deep red curtains around the room seem darker and masking the daylight from the outdoors. But tucked away in the second story was Kaz Brekker’s office. It was his solace away from the clamor of the club that was only muffled from where he sat hunched over his desk.

The midday crowd was already filling the club to the brim from the booths to the game tables and every space in between.  

But one figure slipped through it with ease, weaving in and out in a fresh white blouse, cinched in the middle and sleeves like balloons like an angel. It was like clockwork when you would find your way up the stairs to the office, bypassing the allure of the liquor and games Jesper engorged himself with. You were busy back in your room at the Slat, tinkering with new scraps of the latest mechanics you dug for, but like you said; your arrival was like clockwork.

Kaz, glancing at his pocket watch, stared as the thin needle of a hand rolled around the center point and as if on cue, he found YN breezing through the door with a breath of relief from squeezing through the crowd. His office smelled like remnants of firewood, the freshly brewed coffee he had filling the air. While the daylight was hidden in the club downstairs, a window was opened allowing a cool breeze and the cloudy skies to find their way into this massive space which also held a small bedroom.

As a Heartrender, you would never admit to the way Kaz’s heart would pick up whenever you were near.

“Morning.” you greeted, a handful of mail sent for him to the Slat in your hands as you crossed the space between the door and his desk.

Offering him the small stack and he took it, the shadows under his eyes seeming darker today. You were always up before the sun when your mind could not stop thinking of a new idea, and more often than not, you’d hear Kaz sneaking out in the early morning without a word.

“It’s afternoon.” he said, slyly glancing up at her as his gloved hand took the papers.

With your hands free, you sat yourself upon the very corner of his desk and looking down at the two cups of coffee still topped off with steam, one cup significantly lighter than the other. Smiling contently to yourself, you wrapped your hands around the mug and picked it up to your lips.

“Hope you got it right.”

Kaz glanced up once more as he sorted through the letters.

His eyes flickered over you for a moment, pausing from what he initially wanted to say and you could hear his heart beat in your ears as it skipped.

“Don’t worry, I made it sickening sweet.” Kaz mused, heaving a sigh as he leaned back in his chair.

“Good, I’ll slip slowly and waste more time here then.” you chuckled lightly.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy sitting on his desk, sharing a cup of coffee and hearing him rant as he read the bills, the offers from others, imported goods, the bank statements, and everything else that came with the stress of running a club, not to mention an entire gang. There as a guilty pleasure as a Heartrender that involved enjoying just how flustered became down to a cellular level , but her relationship with Kaz was different; being a Heartrender taught her how much she could push and how to know when to stop pushing given his complicated boundaries.

Admittedly, as indifferent as she made herself seem when it came to Kaz, had he been the Heartrender you would have been in trouble if he could hear your heart. Every time you saw his face at the end of a job, whenever he’d look at you as you sat like you did now, and even every little bit of your unique intimacy sent your heart racing.

It seemed there were many ways to love someone that didn’t involve touching, you thought to yourself, watching Kaz’s brows furrow in the slightest with every word he read with a bittersweet smile. But it hurt when she couldn’t hold his hand or feel his comforting arms at the end of the day.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” you asked, clearing your throat. “Things have been awfully quiet lately.”

Kaz smirked, snickering lightly to himself as he looked up at her.

“We don’t say the words quiet around here because next thing you know, it won’t be so quiet and our hands will be full with trouble.”

You raised your brows. “Well, is something coming our way?”

The look on his face confirmed it all. A simple job was offered to the Crows and a select few Dregs of his choosing (but Kaz would tell you to round up those best for it anyway), to steal a vintage piece of jewelry just brought to  Ketterdam’s historic society display room. It was a job within a job, for the person requesting this jewelry and its unique elemental composition worth hundreds of thousands, it was the key to a bigger job after this which they hoped to secure.

“They have a pretty tight security system.” You sighed, holding up the blueprints he pulled out in front of you.

“Perhaps, you can figure it out in a more spacious area than the corner of my desk.” Kaz frowned, looking away as his chin rested in his palm. Then, only his eyes moved towards her. “I’m leaving the tight security system to you because you’re the only one who is creative enough to get by them. Inej scouted every entrance and found the source of the security system’s mechanics.”

It seemed easy, nothing you hadn’t come up with before, and an idea was already forming in your head to your excitement.

“Tinker around, get the ancient necklace, and a boat load of kruge.” You said simply, your voice only wavering in the slightest as your eyes narrowed at just how intricate the alarm system was.

Kaz stood up from his seat, taking the maps from her to wrap up and slide away in its casing.

“You should be on your way. Best to get a quick start so we can be in and out tonight.” Kaz said, handing her the cylinder casing for the blueprints.

“Oh, I’d sit here all day of you let me.” you grinned, earning an eye roll from him.

“Go.” Kaz pressed, his face more asserting now, trying to hide his own smirk.

But even as you strolled out the door, you could hear his heart rate jumping. Kaz’s eyes didn’t leave your figure on the way out, still staring out into space after the door shut. He leaned over his desk with his palms pressed into the wooden edge and his head dropped with a sigh.

Kaz Brekker was in trouble and his little Heartrender already knew.

~

There was a slightly calmer hour to be found at the Crow Club between the midday crowd leaving and night crowd slowly taking its place. In that time, you found yourself sitting at a booth and sinking into the curved red velvet seating.

You were sketching out a tool that will silence the alarm mechanisms that you had been reading up on for the past two hours. Time was running slow and your back began to ache from the position you barely moved from as you dug the lead into the parchment.

“Hey, YN! How’s it—”

“Jesper!”

Your hands frantically waved him off as his palm came down on your sprawled out pile of sketches and he jumped back, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, sorry.” You said, piling up the previous sketched of the tool you were designing, the exhaustion clear in your skiddish movements. “I have just been trying to wrap my head around this job tonight.”

Jesper smoothly slid into the booth, sitting next to you with eyes scanning over the maps. From behind, Inej approached them and slid into the booth from the other side and now, both Crows were perched upon her shoulders and looking at her work.

“The historical society in the Geldestraat is no playground.” Inej sighed.

“Oh, it’s a playground for sure, just one with little landmines at every step and Stadwatch at every corner. Then, it’s a race to the last swing on the swing set and that is our prize at the end of tonight.” Jesper ranted, his hands flailing as he spoke.

By the time he was done speaking, you and Inej stared at him, speechless.

“You must have been the child that was always bullied at playgrounds, weren’t you?” you muttered, turning your head back to the blueprints. “It’s one of the most complex, yet easiest security systems we’ve had to break into. If the necklace is on display in the spot you say it is, Inej, then this window here is our best bet.”

“Best bet for what?” Inej asked, looking at her quizzically.

Grinning, you held up the drawing of a box no bigger than your hand, the inner workings of your mind scribbled across the page.

“The window has about 5 seconds from the moment it’s opened all the way before it starts setting off an alarm which has a domino affect on the other alarms. It’s a system of bells and the window we’re going through is the start of the system. If I can forge this box to the right dimensions of the window and the string that is triggered from the window opening, then we will have a few minutes before it breaks, and the bells signal any Stadwatch in the area.”

Jesper scoffed. “Then don’t build a little tool that is going to break.”

Your hands ran over your face and instantly, you swatted at his shoulder.

“My work is impeccable, but that string is thin and ready to snap, it’s why they used it so that when the window opened, it would cut it and set off the bells.”

“Oh!” he said slowly, coming to the realization as his lips formed an o.

Even as you spoke of your plan as easily as floating down a stream, it was too good to be true. There were a dozen other factors you haven’t considered yet that made this all the more tricky. In theory, it sounded simple but getting through the window and setting up the tool in time was critical, not to mention getting to the lower level of the museum and back in time before the bells go off.

Leaning on your elbows, your shoulders sunk just a little as your mind continued to pour over the plan.

“I have to be efficient. I say we get a few minutes, give or take another fifteen minutes tops, to make it to the necklace and back without a single peep.”

Jesper glanced at Inej who was standing beside you now and looking it all over.

“Can you do that Inej?”

Immediately, the girl shook her head.

“I may be the most graceful here, but I’m surprisingly not the fastest.”

You didn’t pay any mind to the attention being shoved on you. While you wouldn’t admit it, you’ve already been thinking of it all afternoon and it left your stomach in knots.

“I’ve been walking through this all afternoon.” you sighed, a hint of defeat in your face. “Partially, I feel like taking our chances by taking these jewels in broad daylight.” you half joked.

Suddenly, your hearing focused in on a heart that almost had a third pound through his chest from the cane who always wore. That and his heartbeat both resounded through Kaz’s body with such strength, but, even when you expected him to be near, you didn’t expect him behind the booth sending the three of you with the Saints.

“We do not have the luxury of stealing things in broad daylight, YN.” Kaz said, startling everyone out of their own skin, looming over their shoulders until they he was in front of the table. “We got the jump on this before anyone else, there is no other time to do this but tonight so you all have to be ready.”

You looked up at him, slightly taken back at how high strung he was over this job, his own stressed soul infecting theirs. His eyes scanned over the three of them and then, fell on yours, but you were already looking at the hard lines in his face accentuated by his frown.

Nodding, you tore your eyes away from him and got back to work.

This job was going to break a sweat out in all of them before it even started.

~

“This one won’t explode, yes?” Kaz asked you.

Frowning at him, you waved the contraption you built in an hour Iin the air.

“Look, I know the last one did but this was a simple put together of a few different pieces. See, if you just-'

Kaz put his hand up with an exasperated look, signaling you to stop the demonstration you tried to put on by showing him the inside of your invention.

The two or you stood by one of the street level windows to the small brick building, it’s window panes and shutters painted black, and on this little side street there was no light that found its way here except the faint blue moon above their heads. Kaz had just unlocked the windows, and he stood there just inches away before he would open the window and you’d crawl in, having to be quick.

As you looked at him, you almost couldn’t distinguish who’s heart was racing faster.

Every time you tried to think of your path to the second story where the famous necklace was on display, your thoughts kept getting scrambled.

“Be fast, but not sloppy and get back here in one piece with that jewel in your hand.” Kaz said, his voice not missing a confident beat.

You nodded, smiling reassuringly and your hands nervously straightened the flaps of his wool jacket and you took a shaky breath.

“Got it. Open it up.”

With his cane, Kaz stepped towards the window and gave you one last look as you prepared to jump from the crate and through the opening. Even the first story was a bit of a height difference from the street, but you were quick and had the jumping skill set needed.

Kaz nodded at her and without a moment to waste, Kaz opened the window and you sprinted in, your foot pressing into the crate, pushing off of it and your hands clutching the windowsill to guide you in with ease. There was only a few seconds left and you leaped up to the top of the window, watching as the string that held together their alarm system was growing taught and with your heart pounding, your arm shot out to grab it before it snapped and finally, you could let out a breath or relief.

“Did it work?” Kaz asked, peaking his head through the window

Your tongue was peaking through your lips as you focused intently on wrapping the string in your contraption without moving it too much, settling it against the window secured in place like it were a second addition to big metal box against the wall that was the start it.

“YN!” he hissed.

You shushed him, beads of sweat forming at your temples, slowly leaning back as you released your invention that would keep the string in place, everything seemingly more quiet than normal.

That was good though, the silence being a sign that it was working.

Leaping down, you faced Kaz on the other side of the window and smiled at him, giving a wave of the hand in the form of a salute.

“See ya in a minute.”

Kaz grinned at you, but you turned and ran before you could hear him say a word.

The historical society was an old mansion, when they were a little smaller back in the day, converted into a museum. The hardwood floors and floral carpets were the original, the walls having been painted over a baby blue and hung with artwork that dated before Ketterdam was even recognized on the map. Everyone believed they were copies though.

You came out to the front entrance, a massive open space with a chandelier made of diamonds that sparkled and cast sharp little reflections around the room from the moon that shone in through the window above the tall double doors.

Holding your breath, you slowly looked around, not a single sound or movement to be made.

It was clear and you were set to take off up the stairs, careful not to place your hand along the railing. At the top of the stairs, it split into two hallways but you need not worry about which one to go down because the jewels were sitting in a small case, overlooking the home. They were meant to be in a room down the hall, having yet to be put on display, but it seems your job just got easier.

With a devious, proud grin across your lips, you looked at the ember colored jewels sat into the heavy golden necklace, and even you had to take a moment to admire it’s beauty as if there was a fire burning in each and every individual stone. But, you glanced at the pocket watch you had stolen from Kaz years ago and knew you only had a minute of assurance that the alarm wouldn’t go off before you had to run back

With gloved hands, you lifted the glass boxand plucked the jewel out from it.

In one swift move you placed the glass back and turned around, ready to bolt down the stairs, but two gunshots shattered your senses and while you couldn’t understand why at first, you were sent hurdling down the stairs with no control of your body.

Kaz was growing impatient standing in the alleyway, anxiously checking his watch, counting down the minutes. It shouldn’t have taken this long, and he knew that you knew that as well. Maybe they hid the necklace after the museum closed or maybe they haven’t even had the chance to put it out yet, but Kaz was not looking forward to having to jump to their plan B.

“Dammit, YN" he hissed, glancing through the window into the dark hallway.

But the sound of guns being fired sent him in a frenzy and without waiting a second, Kaz climbed through the window fearing the worst.

By the time you landed, rolling to a stop, the wind had been knocked out of you, pain started surging through your backside from your left hip to right shoulder blade, and left you dizzy and gasping for air. Still clutched in your hands was the necklace, and you tried to focus on how many heartbeats were in the room, but you couldn’t concentrate with the pain you were in.

“Lock her up, she’s a Heartrender.” said a man with a thick Kerch accent that sent her stomach in knots.

“No.” you painfully gasped, trying to bring your hands together.

But one boot came stomping down on the wrist that held the necklace and your screamed out in pain as your shattered bones grinded against. Suddenly, your numb fingers could no longer find the golden chain as it was taken from your hands in Pekka Rollins came into view.

“I’ll be taking that, darling. Thanks for doing the work for us!”

As Pekka stood over you, his shadowed face looking down at you with a horrid grin that made your blood boil. Your hand was shaking as you tried to bring them together, but he waved his finger in front of your face.

“Don’t even try it or a bullet will be put in your head the moment you even move a muscle.” he threatened.

At the sound of a cane smacking into a man’s skull, your head sharply turned as you lay on the ground, watching Kaz storm into the room and begin fighting the Dime Lions that charged at him.

“Kaz, no!” you cried out, your heart nearly lurching from your chest.

It was only moments before two of them seized Kaz, bringing him down on his knees. Tears pricked your eyes as you watched them relentlessly dig their fists into every part of his body, his head refusing to fall in defeat.

“What a surprise, Mr.Brekker.” Rollins taunted, strolling over to him. “I worried you might have been here before we were when your little Wraith hijacked our meeting with the buyer, but I figured, why not sit back and let you do the work for us?”

Kaz glared up at Pekka, his eyes flickering to you as you lay there, a gun pointed to your head at the hands of another Dime Lion and you watched his face drain of all its color.

“Not her.” Kaz said unconsciously, the words passing through his lips like he were thinking out loud. 

That was their first mistake.

“I didn’t know the Dregs at a Heartrender in their rankings.” Pekka said, observing Kaz’s faulty eyes, glancing back at you with a smug grin. “That sounds a bit like cheating.” But then, he shrugged and his head rolled back to Kaz. “Bah, what do I care? She won’t make it much longer, but you? If you manage to crawl out of this mess, I might have a little more respect for ya.”

You didn’t know what mess Pekka Rollins was referring to, but your backside was already aching, blood seeping through your clothes now as you lay on the cold floor.

Kaz was writhing in their grips, bloody murder written across his face as he seemed to make his way out of one of their grasps and just as you thought he would have won, a gun shot rang through the air and made you jump.

Despite all the pain, you watched as Kaz crumpled to the ground and your body instantly shot up, wincing as Pekka kicked him in the face. But another shot resounded through the air, and you collapsed back on the ground with your hand still reaching for him, your leg now feeling useless as the bullet lodged itself in your calf. You watched as Kaz roll in his back, face contorted with pain.

The tears began to fall and you lay there, looking at him, waiting for his eyes to open and look back at you.

“Let’s leave, boys. Blow the place on the way out.”

That order sent a chill through your body and you helplessly watched them walk away.

“Kaz…” you weakly croaked out, watching him begin to prop himself up, one hand holding his stomach. “Kaz, we need to go.”

As you tried to shuffle towards him, every muscle in your body screaming with pain, you were only inches away from your fingertips reaching the lapels of his coat. Kaz looked at you, his eyes wide, but the moment he reached out for you, a blast shook the entire building and the last thing you saw was the walls crumbling down around you.

~

“YN!”

The voice was muffled, just barely heard over the ringing over your ears. Slowly, your eyes blinked open, and you couldn’t feel a thing as you watched the dark blue twilight sky above your head. It was almost peaceful, the sky lightening ever so lightly that you could make out the thick clouds that were almost black against the backdrop of the sky.

But then, the sharp scent of smoke that clouded your lungs and the irony taste of blood in your mouth took you away from your blissful moment and thrusted you into one of sheer panic as it crawled up your spine.

“YN!”

The ringing stopped and you could hear the cackling of flames and rubble grinding against each other now, turning your head to see Kaz.

Soot streaked his face; the panic you felt now visible in his widened eyes and the way his lips hung open like he was staring at a ghost. Your hands were merely inches from each other now and all around, the ceiling lay in shambles, the chandelier at your heads spreading its little diamonds across the space between you two. For a moment you wonder if that was what spared you two from the wood and stone that lay around you, but when you looked, you see that wood was piercing your thigh and the door lay over your ankle.

“Kaz.” you said shakily, looking back at him.

It was amazing how you couldn’t feel a thing, but that was probably good.

You two stared at each other, panting and clearly at a loss of what to do, except all you two could do was look at each other.

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as you stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

“Don’t look at my like that, YN.” Kaz grunted, trying to pull himself up. “Don’t look at me like you’re going to die.”

The bruises scattered across his face and the blood that soaked through his shirt were clear as day, but he seemed unphased as he tried to move closer.

You faintly smirked at him, feeling a trickle of blood from the corner of your lip.

“I think only you could look like an angel even when a building exploded around us.”

Kaz saw you smile through the pain, and every effort to be strong he tried to put up was whisked away by the look on your face as his shoulders fell. He could have collapsed back to the floor, letting the sleep take him away, had it not been for the way you smiled at him. Of course, he was in pain too, but it was insurmountable to the pain caused by the sight before him. His heart raced, wondering just how he would manage to drag the two of you out of this as his own limbs grew weary and tired from trying to sit up.

“I think you should get a demo man, Jesper always wanted one.”

Kaz, exhaled, letting out a brief chuckle.

“Why should I when half of your inventions explode anyway? We’ll have plenty more to come.”

There was a tinge of fear to his voice, hidden by the hope that you would make it til morning, and you could hear it; he didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t let Pekka Rollins take someone else from him, even if it meant waiting until his last breath to take his life.

You rolled your eyes at him, the pain slowly starting to return as you gazed at the ceiling.

You kept your heart beating, your blood flowing, but you tried to pull yourself closer to Kaz only to sink back into the floor with defeat and suddenly, your chest started to rise and fall quicker. This couldn’t be it. You were stronger than this. You had to survive—if not for the Crows, but for him. Perhaps, you were being too hopeful after all.

“Kaz.” you croaked out, looking back at him with the tears threatening to pour out of your eyes.

“YN, we will be okay.” he said, his voice stern as if he could read your mind.

Suddenly, when he was within reach, you clasped his gloved hand and forced as much life into him as you could, watching him become caught off guard as his heart began to race.

“No.” he pleads.

Kaz tried to pull away, but you wouldn’t let him.

“You need to conserve your energy. We need to get out of here before the Stadwatch find us in the middle of this.”

“I’m saving you so you can save the both of us!” you argued, using his hand to pull yourself a little closer, both of you straining to bring yourselves together. But you paused for a moment, trying to catch your breath. “One of us needs to make it out of here tonight and I’m the only one who can make sure of it.”

Kaz finally pulls his hand away, and you watch him fight against everything that brought him down to sit up, leaning his back on the heavy chandelier and the remnants of the ceiling that supported it. He shut his eyes for a moment, and you watch the connection between you break as he becomes overly drained, still thinking desperately of a way out of this. As he sat there, you too fought against the pain coursing through every nerve of your body, the bullets lodged within you taunting your beaten soul as you tried to sit yourself up too. The cracked bones in your wrist made you gasp when you tried to put pressure on it, but you fought through it for one last push as you sat yourself up against the chandelier just a foot away with him.

“I cannot leave here alone. I can’t go back if you’re not with me.” Kaz said slowly, his head turning to you.

Now that you two were closer to each other, you could see just how hurt he was.

You opened your mouth to speak, ready to grasp his hand again, but blood spattered through your lips as you coughed it up.

Black spots danced across your vision, and you slowly start to fall over.

Kaz’s breath hitched, and his arms moved before he could even think to do so, dragging you towards him.

The moment you felt his arms around you, you came back to your senses, looking up at him from where your head lay on his chest.

“Kaz, you don’t—”

“I-I have to.” He says, shuddering slightly.

Kaz’s mind could not seem to push away the suffocating feeling your touch brought, and he found himself looking away, trying to fight off the horrifying memories of the ocean swallowing him whole. 

But he squeezed you tight, all flesh and bone still warm with life, trying to push out the gruesome images of his last memories with Jordie. You were alive in his arms, and he wouldn’t live to see the day you weren’t despite their odds right now.

For so long, you dreamed of the day Kaz could hold your hand, even let his knuckles brush by yours. But you never thought this is how it would go.

“It’s because I’m dying, isn’t it?”

Yes.

Kaz looks down at you, already accepting the defeat of the night, and he is almost too horrified to speak as your eyes seemed calmer now than from the second you finally regained consciousness.

“It’s because—”

He pauses, looking away from you and you hang on to every word.

The only thing he wanted to do was hold you, hating himself for never doing it sooner.

“It’s okay, Kaz.” you smile sadly. “There was going to be a day when I’d watch you all grow old and leave me, but if I don’t make it through this, at least I won’t have to watch that happen.”

There was a million things you could say, a million things you built up for years since the day you saw him. In all that time you never imagined it all coming down to this and you were just so tired, but you wanted to hear him say the words.

“But I want to hear you say it.” You said, your voice growing quiet.

No matter how much you tried to justify letting go, you didn’t want to. Your heart beat for him as you looked up at him and all you wanted to do was hear him say those words.

As your eyelids became heavy, you tried to focus on the way your heart beat alongside his, pressing your hand against his chest so that you could fight for the two of you, but his heart was already racing. You loved the sound of it, remembering every time you would hear it jump the moment you stepped into a room.

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for me to hold you and tell you the words you want to hear.”

Kaz was fighting for his life and his urge to finally tell the truth about everything. The way he hated when you’d sit on his desk, play with his jacket when there was a slight hair out of place, and he hated how even now you were fighting to keep both of you alive. But there was the way he loved watching you outwit everyone of the Dregs when they played at the tables, the way he loved when you’d doze off in his office after a long day of working with your tools and so much more he hated himself for only paying attention to now.

“Are you going to make me do everything?” you ask, weakly smiling, hiding your face as your hot tears stained his chest.

You could feel him smile, and you could also feel your energy draining by the second.

“I love you, Kaz. Until my last breath.” you said, fearing this would be your last.

The words were on both of their minds, yet, Kaz couldn’t wrap his head around it and when you said it, his lips parted ever so slightly, staring ahead at the rubble as if that was the biggest shock to come of the night. Those words were foreign to him, they belonged to a shell of who he was and he couldn’t allow himself to accept it. His heart ached though, almost wanting to hear it again from your lips.

But then, when his heart suddenly slowed and he felt your hand leave his chest, Kaz looked down at you in a panic.

“YN…” he whispered urgently.

“I’m here.” you murmured; your eyes closed.

It felt so nice to shut them for a moment.

Kaz looked down at you, everything in him spinning, and he was ready to march you out of here now to get help but even then, as he tried to move, the pain in his body kept him grounded. Sighing in defeat, he smacked his head against the back of the chandelier and rubble he leaned upon, wanting to scream or yell and curse the world for making him so weak. His mind lingered back to the waters, Jordie’s molted and rotten skin at his fingertips, while he kicked back to the harbor swimming against all odds.

“I love you too, YN.” he said, the words cutting through the silence around them.

Deep down, he didn’t want to say the words out loud, knowing they might be the last he says to you. He yearned for more time to love you, to stroke the hair off your face as he did now as the corner of your lips turned upwards. 

It made him forget to breathe as he frantically searched around, wondering if there was a way out.

But the exhaustion was tearing him apart and he looked down at you one last time, the smile off your face as your head rolled slightly. 

It wasn’t long before his eyes closed too.

~

“I found them!” 

The Dregs were scouring the rubble after they heard the explosion from the rendezvous point, Jesper and Inej running back after seeing that the two of you never made it. 

When the pair heard one of the Dregs call out, the pair exchanged a worried look before pushing through the remnants of the mansion. They feared they would find your mangeled bodies waiting for them, but they skidded to a halt when they saw something else entirely.

Jesper’s face fell, as Inej’s hand clamped over her mouth, watching as Rotty checked their pulses, the man’s hands shaking as they checked. 

“They’re still breathing!” Rotty shouted with relief. “Let’s move them out of here, they’re hurt pretty bad.”

But Inej and Jesper could not move just yet, staring with teary eyes from the overwhelming release of the weight on their shoulders. You sat curled up alongside Kaz, his arms wrapped around you, holding so tightly they could have swore he turned to stone. 

There was no time to waste though, and they ran to you and Kaz to drag the two of you out to safety. 

[jediken0bi]

The Lucky One

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

Spencer has always been good at keeping secrets. This secret just so happens to walk into the BAU to bring him his lunch. The team, supportive as ever, decides to tease him a little and Derek learns a little lesson about making assumptions.

word count: 2763

-

You and Spencer have only been officially dating for about 3 Months.

3 Months, 4 days and 13 hours you hear a voice inside your head. One that sounds suspiciously like Spencers.

You let out a small giggle before shaking your head slightly.

Things couldn't be better between the two of you. You guys had spare keys to the other persons apartment and while that might seem like a rush move for a lot of people you two have agreed that this is the easiest way to maximize your time together. So more often than not, you were staying over at each other's apartment.

You were currently on your way to bring him his lunch since he was in a rush this morning and forgot to take it.

Nothing new to either of you. He often tends to leave his lunch at home only to realize it when he's already on his break resulting in him usually buying himself a cheap sandwich or skipping lunch all together. You decided that, for once, he deserved to have a proper meal. He's been working a lot of overtime lately and it's starting to take a toll on him. On both of you really. He was constantly exhausted and you had to watch him work himself into over drive. Ever since the Hankle case, he's been scared to let even the smallest details go unnoticed which meant that he often spend much longer than the rest of the team on studying the files and trying to solve cases at the speed of light. It's something the team has noticed too over the last couple of weeks. They've been trying to get him to go out with them more often to take his mind off things but he usually rejects them by coming up with some fake excuse.

The reality was that he usually wanted to come straight home to you. He told you the reason he hasn't told the team about you two yet is their constant meddling and involvement in his life. He loves them all dearly and he wouldn't change a thing about either of them, but this was his and his only. He wasn't quite ready to give up the only thing he didn't have to share with anyone. He wanted you all to himself for as long as possible and while you can admit that you were skeptical at first, it's fair to say that you've come to understand Spencers point of view a lot better since then.

So, while you knew all about his team, they knew nothing about you. It didn't offend you though. You are confident that you and Spencer are in this for the long run.

Of course you were slightly worried about running into one of them while bringing him his lunch but that's a risk you were willing to take if it meant that Spencer didn't have to spend another day hungry and exhausted. It's not likely for him to get mad at you if it were to happen anyway. He keeps making small remarks to test the waters.

At this point, he might be scared you don't want to meet his team by the way he's tip toeing around the subject.

Finally arriving at the big scary FBI building you walk inside with caution.

Logically speaking the FBI is the last place you should feel scared to be at, but you can't help but think that this is probably the most intimidating place in the U.S. All those important people in their suits and pencil skirts and their stone cold expressions made you question how Spencer could be so different.

Before you could finish that thought you pass the security check and run straight into someone else on your way to the elevator.

You couldn't get a word out before said person started talking.

"Oh my god i am so sorry, gorgeous! I'm usually more coordinated than this i swear. It's just been a very stressful morning and now i've made yours worse by bumping into you-"

You smile widely as you realize who you must be talking to.

Tech Genius Penelope Garcia

"It's completely fine honestly! It was totally my fault anyway. It's my first time here and i'm a bit nervous"

You felt a bit rude interrupting her but based on the things Spencer told you about her this apology would've went on for at least another two minutes and you would much rather spend that elevator ride having a conversation with her.

After all, she was the BAU sunshine.

And bright she is with her colorful clothes and awesome glasses you think to yourself in that very moment.

It was a nice change of scenery after hushing around serious looking people before.

"Well, looks like we were both a bit dazzled just then! First time huh? Yeah there's definitely something scary about this place. What's a pretty gal like you doing here on a saturday morning? Oh! Are you visiting someone special?", Garcia says in a excited tone before quickly pressing the button taking you two up to the BAU floor.

You were grateful for that because it meant you didn't have to explain why you had to go to that floor too. Of course Penelope was way too hyper to realize i hadn't pressed another button in that moment so i quickly answered her to draw her attention to something else.

"Yeah, i am. I'm bringing my boyfriend his lunch. He hasn't been taking care of himself recently and i want him to at least have a proper meal in his stomach"

Garcia smiled at you with a small nod.

"That's so cute! He is lucky to have you, sweetie. I'm Penelope Garcia by the way!"

She extends her hand and you immediately shake it with a small smile playing on your lips

"I'm Y/N. Very nice to meet you, Penelope"

Not 3 seconds later the elevator doors open and you follow Garcia out of it and straight into the bullpen.

You didn't make it very far before a guy you strongly assume to be the infamous Derek Morgan approached Garcia and, by proximity, you.

"Now that's what you wanna see first thing in the morning! How is my Babygirl?"

Yep, definitely Morgan

"Infinitely better now that i've seen you, hot stuff" says Penelope without even having to think about it.

You can't help but snort at how adorable their friendship is. They're so comfortable with each other.

Derek looks past Garcia and straight at you with curious eyes.

"Well hello mamas. Who do we have here?"

Garcia turns around and has a surprised look on her face when she finally notices you behind her.

"Y/N! I thought you were on your way to meet your boyfriend for lunch?"

I opened my mouth to explain why exactly i was there but Derek beat me to it.

"Now why don't we just forget about that boyfriend and you let me take you out for lunch instead?"

Penelope hits him in the shoulder and i just laugh. Derek looks at me smugly and raises his eyebrows as a way of asking 'What do you say?'

You're tempted to just straight up tell him who you're here for to save everyone from a potentially awkward situation but just as you start talking you see Spencer sitting at his desk focused on his paperwork.

You make the quick decision to simply show Derek instead.

Without saying another word you simply walk past him with a big smile and head towards your destination.

"Hey handsome"

Spencers head shoots up as soon as he hears the familiar sound of your voice. He stares at you with wide eyes. He's clearly shocked to see you and you don't blame him. You just hope he's happy to see you.

"Y/N! What are you doing here?"

Now, if it had been anyone else you're sure this would've sounded rude, but you know Spencer so you know he doesn't mean for it to sound accusing. He's genuinely wondering.

You put on a playful pout.

"Is that a way to talk to the wonderful person who came all the way to the fbi to bring you lunch?"

Spencer finally stands up and looks down on the bag in your hand. He smiles and suddenly it's like he's at home with you. No one else around.

He walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist.

"No, of course not. Thank you, beautiful"

He presses a small but firm kiss to your waiting lips and you smile up at him.

"You're welcome. I know work has been rough and i thought maybe a proper lunch could make up for some of it. I know it's not a lot and it doesn't cure the bad thoughts but you should know that i made today's lunch with an extra amount of love"

You joke.

You push one of his curls out of his eyes so you can properly look at him. He was already gone by the time you woke up so this is the first you're seeing of him today. He looks tired. Exhausted. And it's breaking your heart.

He gives you a smile that reaches his eyes. The first one in days. There's a feeling of pride blooming inside of you.

"How could i say no to some extra lovin'?"

Your eyes immediately widen and a blush creeps up your face.

"Spence!" You hit his shoulder and he tumbles back a tiny bit, laughing.

"I'm sorry, love. I really am grateful for this. You didn't have to do this"

It's only then that you realize you're not in the confide space of your apartments. You're in the bullpen of the BAU surrounded by Spencers friends and second family.

Spencer seems to realize that too because he suddenly let's go of you and clears his throat.

Confused about what just happened you turn around to spot Derek, Penelope and two women who you assume must be JJ and Emily staring at you with wide unbelieving eyes.

"There ain't no way. Pretty boy!! My man!"

Derek breaks out of his shock first and proudly points between the two of you.

Garcia doesn't waste a second following his example

"Reid is the boyfriend who hasn't been taking care of himself?!"

"What?" JJ, Emily and Spencer all ask at the time.

You can't help but laugh out loud at the absurd situation you got yourself in.

You turn around to look at Spencer. One hand grabbing his chin so he looks at you.

"Yeah, that would be him"

Spencer goes beet red immediately and the team goes wild.

You only smile wider at him and he pulls you back against his chest, wrapping one of his arms back around your waist. He goes to hide his embarrassment by burying his face in your shoulder.

He hates being the center of attention especially when it comes to his team.

"Spence, i didn't know you were seeing someone! How come you hid her from us?"

JJ asks him all excited. She was clearly happy her best friend has finally found someone he loves and trusts.

Spencer grumbles and lifts his head to look at his team.

"I wasn't hiding her! I just wanted something for myself for a little while. We're all up in each others business all the time and i love you guys but it was nice not having to share this part of my life with everyone for a bit. JJ, you did the same when you started dating Will!"

The team looks at each other for a moment and suddenly they all nod understandingly

"Fair enough" they all say.

Spencer hums approvingly and you just smile at the scene before you.

That wasn't that bad! I don't even know what i was afraid of

You were about to bid your goodbyes to the team and Spence so they could get back to work when Dereks next comment urges you to stay for a little while longer.

"Now Reid don't get me wrong but how the hell did you land a smoke show like this? No disrespect kid but i admittedly tried to flirt with her before i knew who she was"

Spencer smiles uncomfortably and shifts from one foot to the other.

"I don't know i guess i was just being myself? I saw her in my favorite book store one day and i just asked her out. Unusual for me, sure, but it's like i didn't have to be afraid with her. I don't know that probably sounds weird"

Your eyes soften and you lay your hand on top of Spencers on your waist. You turn your head a little to press a small kiss to his cheek.

"It doesn't sound weird, Spence. I'm glad you asked me out. I wanted to ask you but i couldn't bring myself to build up the courage. I think you're brave for taking a risk but trust me there was no way i was going to say no to you"

Emily, JJ and Penelope all seemed to melt over the cute interaction between you two but Dereks focus was somewhere else.

He didn't mean any harm you're absolutely sure about that. Maybe it's your instinct to protect Spencer or maybe it's your way of showing him exactly what he's worth but you can't find yourself feeling sorry for what happens next.

"Hold on, you were scared to ask him out? Pretty Ricky over here intimidated you? That's got to be a first"

He laughs with no real malice behind his voice. He's just joking around after all.

Spencer looks down in slight embarrassment at his friends teasing and you decide that now is the time to show them exactly what kind of girlfriend you are.

"I'm not sure we're looking at the same person here Derek because when i was at that bookstore creepily drooling over this hot as hell 6'3 doctor with great taste in literature i knew i had to ask him out. He's the kind of man you want to spend your life with. Not some cheap fling or meaningless 2 week dating experiment. I knew that, once i had him, i was going to hold on to him. So yeah, i was intimidated. It was like staring into your future and i was scared of messing it up. I've never been happier than i am now with Spencer"

Spencer stayed silent the entire time only pressing you closer to him. Once you're finished talking he presses a long firm kiss to your head.

"It's okay. I know, love. Me too"

He whispers loud enough so you could hear it but not loud enough for the rest of the team to hear.

"Woah little mama i meant no offense! I don't call him pretty boy for nothing. I'm just playing with y'all. I love the kid and i'm happy you two have found each other"

He smiles warmly at you and you give him a smile in return.

"I know you didn't. Spence told me all about you guys. I just don't like it when people make assumptions about my relationship with him. Because if anything, i'm the lucky one.

Spencer snorts and you lightly elbow him in the stomach with a grin on your face. You both look at each other with a glint in your eyes

"Agree to disagree" you both say at the same time. It's kind of become your thing. This isn't the first time that debate has been discussed between you two.

"Oh my god they're total nerds in love. Love Nerds!"

Penelope says in a squeaky voice.

You all laugh at her enthusiasm and you turn around to look at your boyfriend once more.

"I better get going. I didn't mean to stay this long anyway. I'll see you tonight? Your place? I'll order us some chinese"

Spencer takes your hand in his and nods with a smile.

"Yeah i'll be there"

You grin and lean up to kiss him goodbye. Seconds before your lips meet you whisper

"You better be. I'm planning on cashing in that promise for some extra lovin' tonight"

You finally press a kiss to lips and turn around as he turns bright red.

"Y/N!!"

You laugh loudly.

"Two can play this game baby!"

You're practically running out of there to avoid any further questioning from his team. All you hear is a chorus of laughter and Spencers embarrassed voice as he tells them to shut up