#dreaming of simpler code

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[dr-lurker]

I'm really sick right now and cannot sleep. It's the dead of the night. My phone is dying. So fuck it. Here you go, Feather Outfit Chase in Dreams by Night appreciation because it's been living in my head rent free ever since I've seen it the first time:

He's so magical girl coded here, love it. I only realized the top half resembles Nox's in the Sick Day arc after somebody pointed it out in the webtoon comments.

Angel motif for Chase, my beloved...

Also, I was re-reading this episode after the big reveal in the finale and I realized that I hadn't noticed that in this look he was wearing what seems like white eyeshadow. Don't bully me, I wear glasses and I can't see shit. Also I have a shitty attention span.

Look how pretty he looks!

His lips and chest also have that slight white cast over them, but I'm going to convince myself that's just shading and the one on his eyelids isn't. Because brown eyes with white eyeshadow is really important to me.

At last I want everybody to stare at my all time favorite outfit on him, because we've seen him in it for like, two seconds, but I love it too much and cannot get my eyes off him:

I know, I know. It's probably one of his simpler outfits but I love that sort of muted shade of pink on him a whole lot. The yellow details and lowkey cream shirt underneath seem so natural on him. Idk if my love for this look is also given by the fact that when he's blushing and his eyes are so wide he looks so sweet. He's my son.

Also, shoutout to the fit he sports in Requiem of Blood and Moonlight. I feel like that's a really beloved arc tho, so I'm not going to put any images of it here.

Ha, ha. Kidding. Let's reminisce together.

I reached the conclusion that I just happen to like him best when his outfits are pretty, relatively simple and in more muted colors. Basic bitch behavior? Yes. Let's move on.

Look at it!! The flower embellishments on the bodice and the boots... the pale yellow... also I think he looks really pretty in chokers, are you kidding me. Hope he wears them again, sometime.

And a shoutout also goes out to the angel motif coming back in this arc. Angel motif I love you soooo much. It appears in my playlist for them, too.

Btw I was checking webtoon to search for the pink outfit again and I realized that the dating sim updated. I'm going to read it. (Jesus please let me fall sleep)

[manincaffeine]

Falling Into you

Chapter 1 - Dangerous whisper

The morning air was crisp, and the city outside their apartment in Seoul buzzed faintly, a stark contrast to the intimate quiet of their home. Snow was asleep, her delicate frame curled beneath the plush covers. The curve of her hip peeked from the blanket, and Lucian's eyes lingered as he adjusted his tie in the doorway.

It wasn't just love he felt for her; it was obsession. Raw. Unyielding. Every part of her called to him like a forbidden prayer, and it was a battle to pull himself away. But work demanded him, even on a Saturday. His fingers itched to trace the soft line of her jaw, to wake her with a kiss that would spiral into something more, but he settled for something simpler-a quiet act of devotion.

He moved to the kitchen, preparing her breakfast with precision. Coffee and sandwich, just the way she liked them. As he set it on the counter, he left a note beside the tray: Eat well. Dream of me. I'll be back before you miss me too much.

Lucian left, his thoughts torn between the codes waiting at his office and the woman who held his soul in her sleep-clenched fists.

When Snow awoke hours later, her world felt emptier without him. The smell of breakfast made her smile, but it wasn't enough to fill the ache of his absence. She moved through her morning, her routines automatic: tidying the living room, folding laundry, and reorganizing the books on their shelf. But her mind was a whirlpool, dragging her back to Lucian.

By midday, she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed her phone and sent him a simple message: Miss me yet?

The lack of a reply sent a thrill of irritation through her. She tried FaceTiming him. No answer.

Snow bit her lip, frustration swirling into something darker -something thrilling. She decided to remind him exactly what he was missing.

She slipped into their bedroom, her fingers trailing over the collection of lace and satin in her drawer. Her choice was deliberate: the white thong, the one Lucian once admitted made his mind go blank. It barely covered her, and the contrast of innocence and sin sent a shiver through her.

Standing in front of the mirror, she posed --her hips tilted, the curve of her bare stomach teasingly prominent. Her fingertips skimmed along her skin, her expression soft but knowing. She snapped the photo and hit send.

The caption was a simple dagger: Thinking of you.

Lucian's phone buzzed in the middle of a meeting. He ignored it at first, focused on the mundane chatter of work,. but when the notification persisted, he caved.

The moment the snaps filled his screen, the air was sucked from his lungs.

She was chaos personified. The way the white fabric clung to her hips, the soft dip of her belly exposed like a dare -it was too much. His pulse thundered in his ears as his mind spiraled into forbidden fantasies. His team's voices faded into the background as he stared, his breathing unsteady.

He texted her back with trembling hands, his words dripping with dark desire:

Snow that white thong is pure fucking torment. Your curves, your soft, tempting tummy..you're playing with fire. Do you have any idea what you've just done to me? Or maybe you do. I can't think. You've wrecked me.

Snow's reply was instant, her words like silk and steel:

Oh no, Lucian.. I forgot those are only for your eyes. But how could I resist? You love white, don't you? l'm sorry.. or maybe I'm not 🎀.

Lucian's jaw clenched, heat flooding through him as he loosened his tie, his mind no longer on work. She knew exactly what she was doing. Snow wasn't just his weakness- she was his undoing, and God help him, he didn't want to be saved.

Snow's phone buzzed again, the sound breaking the charged silence of their shared apartment. She reached for it with a languid stretch, a knowing smile playing on her lips. She already knew what to expect, Lucian's words were always like a blade wrapped in silk, cutting her in the most delicious Ways.

Her chest tightened as she read his reply, her eyes tracing every syllable, her heart racing at the simmering heat behind his message

Oh my Snow . you didn't forget? Or did you? Maybe you just wanted to see how far you could push me, how much you could tease me. That white thong , that soft little tummy- it's all mine. My little butterfly and you know it. Don't tease me unless you're ready to handle what's coming next, my love.

The words seeped into her, a blend of possessiveness and promise that left her breathless. she loved dancing in the chaos of his desire.

The buzzing of her phone echoed in Snow's mind as she read Lucian's last message. She smirked, typing a playful reply, her words a challenge wrapped in sweetness:

Oh, Lucian you just say things. You can't do anything- you're all talk, just stuck at work. Poor you.

She sent it, half-laughing at her own audacity. But deep down, she wondered. How far would he go?

Lucian read her reply, and something inside him snapped. The line between restraint and recklessness blurred, and in that moment, work didn't matter. Nothing did- except her.

He didn't reply. Instead, he grabbed his keys, threw his laptop into his bag, and walked out of the office without a word. Snow had summoned him, intentionally or not, and now he was going to show her exactly what he could do.

Continue......

[highlandwhackamole]

A Grand(ish) Theory of What the Heck

I love the utterly unhinged, super detailed theories about what's going on in Good Omens, especially in season 2. I hope one or more of them turn out to be true, as some kind of glorious puzzle-box-hidden-code monstrosity. And also I think that there has to be a simpler explanation for things, for the people who are at least Somewhat Normal (tm) about this show. (... I assume such people do exist somewhere...) This is what I have been pondering recently.

The thing that started me thinking about this was this post, containing some promotional materials for season 2 that feature main characters with scenes in their heads. Like this:

Seeing this created a very similar situation in my own head, but with a nice shiny lightbulb.

All the weirdness: the car, the sideburns, the clock, the behavior of the folks of Soho, the vanishing storefront signs. The absence of God. I think this is all because everything we see is in their heads.

I don't mean it's made up. At least not entirely. Memory is already a plot point. Why not explore it on a deeper level? I've read theories emphasizing the minisodes' stories being retold by Aziraphale and Crowley. I think the whole season is like that.

You know that sort of conventional-wisdom-fact-concept that you can only dream faces of people you've seen before (or variations therein), because your brain can't make new faces up? So it just fills in what it thinks is close enough? I think that idea, applied to remembering or recollecting things, could explain so many things that are wonky in this show.

Wonky Things

Crowley parking in an impossible London location? He definitely remembers it was in London, so his brain just stuck some obvious London landmarks in there.

Awkward clattering happening when Crowley throws the stacks of books he's inexplicably carrying around the bookshop? He wouldn't actually throw Aziraphale's books! But he'd like to think he's cool and nonchalant enough to do that, and if he did it would definitely make Some Kind of Noise.

Jim walking toward the bookshop from somewhere mysterious? Maggie and Nina saw him first, and he came from that direction, so he must've walked all that way. They don't know about the elevator in the Donkey.

Aziraphale remembers tartan hills and the Loch Ness monster because he was having a jolly time driving through Scotland, so obviously the scenery must've been whimsical Scottish things.

Nina put the Honolulu roast sign up, so she remembers its presence, but perhaps the occult/ethereal visitors to her shop do not.

Maggie really did text Aziraphale about the rent, but a note through the mail slot is a much more dignified way for a scholarly angel to imagine he received a message.

On the Fallibility of Recall

This season is loaded with unrealistic inclusions. The colors are turned up to 11. Some of the scenes are more caricature than believable interaction. Remembering things never copies or reproduces them with what one might call high fidelity.

Scenes recalled by separate memories will inherently vary. One person's hefty jigger might be another person's dash. Who knows for sure where the sun was that day? You and I might recall an event having different lighting or a different color palette, sort of like viewing something with different lens filters.

According to Neil, Crowley is an unreliable narrator of the story of his Fall. He labels the variations in clock times as a continuity error in a show where Everything Is Meant, but he doesn't say whose continuity error it is. He insists that the Bentley is the same through the whole season; maybe it was the same, but remembered differently. Maybe this is part of why there's more CGI but it's harder to spot.

So What?

Is this all there is to it? I sure hope not. I like my Good Omens with enough layers to put to shame an onion wrapped in a cake and covered in a parfait.

Is this possibly the fancy footwork that's distracting from the real magic trick? I wouldn't put it past Our Gaiman. There are a lot of things one could hide in the narrative of unreliable memory.

Is this going to stop me from rewatching and repondering and remaking theories for the next couple years? Not even at gunpoint.

[reconstructwriter]

tell me everything you can about the jaster/feemor fic 👀

Oh, I was hoping someone would ask me about this one *rubs hands gleefully*

So my vague thoughts about the Mandalorian mission landed on: what if instead of Qui Gon and Obi Wan someone went undercover among the New Mandalorians? But why would the Jedi Council do that instead? Oh…what if Jaster survived Korda 6 – then it’s not a simpler choice between terrorist group or other. And wOuLd’Nt It Be FuNnY if Jaster had a terrible crush on a ‘New Mandalorian’ bodyguard 😉

I have long had the headcanon that Mace is a night owl, not an morning lark. Jedi Council meetings Do Not support this.

Mace nursed his third cup of caff as dawn’s rays crept into the Council chambers specifically to lay siege upon his eyeballs. Whichever old Jedi said dawn was wiser than dusk ought’ve kept that thought to themselves. Truly, he loved being a Jedi – except this part. Dawn was too sleep-addled to be wise. He had, upon being ‘promoted’ to the Council, advocated for crack of noon meetings instead.

Which had failed seven to five. Yoda and Dooku were traitors.

“Petitioned for Republic aid, Mandalore has,” Yoda said. Just as Mace took a sip, the old troll. Used to dramatic announcements while drinking, Mace didn’t inhale his caff. Shaak Ti, their newest member, had yet to manage their grandmaster’s particular proclivity and choked on her tea. As well she should. The words ‘Mandalore’ and ‘Petition for Republic aid’ had never, in all the galaxy’s history, been in the same sentence unless another planet or people and the word ‘against’ were involved. Tera Sinube and Jocasta Nu cleared out their ears, certain they hadn’t heard correctly. To counter the disbelief that reverberated like an opera singer‘s, Yoda projected the petition for all Council members to see.

Which, yes, that was Mandalore. The planet name. On a petition for Jedi assistance. Mace had fallen asleep in a Council Meeting again. “Somewhere the Sith Hells are building an ice-skating rink,” Oppo remarked.

One of those weird shared dreams.

Tera Sinube snickered, then frowned. “Duke Kryze?” the old Crechemaster tapped his cane in thought. “I was unaware Mandalore has united under a single leader.”

“It certainly hasn’t,” Jocasta Nu straightened, a lecture at the ready. Mace would dream of many things but not one of Jocasta’s lectures. “A terrorist leader claims to be the ruler as well.” The worst ones always did. “By way of the Darksaber,” she added with an edge. Few were the successful robberies of the archives. Mace pitied the terrorist Mandalore-claimer. “And,” her voice dripped with disgust. “Jaster Mereel.”

Mace had no idea what Jaster Mereel had done to earn greater ire than a thief of an archive artifact but Dooku, closer to her, was up on the latest gossip. “Pestering you with more requests?” he smirked.

“Three leaders at least then, yet only one asks,” Yoda commented.

And there lay the complication. “Do we have the right to interfere then?” Shaak Ti asked the needed question. “Mandalore has not joined the Republic nor agreed to its laws and if we become the sort of people who burst into everyone’s home to lay down our chosen law – where will we stop.”

“As a student of history, we wouldn’t,” Jocasta said.

“Contentious, Mandalorians and Jedi have been,” Yoda spoke with hard-earned experience. “Harm not the unarmed, our code says. Accept the surrender of all, our oaths demand. Yet never unarmed the Mandalorians are. Surrender, dishonorable is seen.”

Add in intermittent conquests and bouts of Jedi-hunting and you had the seed of every Jedi-Mandalorian conflict in their shared history, Mace thought. “A shatterpoint looms over this mission, I sense that well enough. Should we break it? Mandalore’s fate will be decided on this mission, whether we take it or not. And if we do take it, who would we begin to send?” The experts of Mandalor were few and far between and many would be obviously unwise to send there.

“That sounds like a political travesty,” Dooku said, “Requiring a skilled negotiator. I would recommend my own Padawan. Qui Gon Jinn has made Master.”

“I disagree,” Yaddle spoke up at last.

A flicker of gobsmacked rippled through the Force before Dooku’s face and presence settled to forbidding impassivity. This did nothing to deter someone who had leapt straight from Padawan to Master centuries ago. “Shaak Ti is right, and Grandmaster Yoda speaks wisdom,” Yaddle paused, an unspoken ‘for once’ lingered teasingly. “Three rulers at least and no simple choice, previous Jedi-Mandalorian conflicts aside even the best diplomat would struggle not to add further conflict to such a mess. We can act but should not act openly.”

“You suggest the Shadows,” Councilor Piell stated the obvious. “One of your undercover agents.”

Yaddle gave Yarael the same look Mace often gave Depa for her teatime conversation topics but made no answer.

“Well, the poor soul will at least avoid Jaster’s obsession – if they keep their cover,” Jocasta said.

“There is one minor problem. About going undercover,” Tera Sinube brought up a picture. “Death Watch would be difficult but nothing your Shadows couldn’t handle. Jaster Mereel’s supercommandoes will be easy enough to infiltrate, however may I present a general indication of Sundari’s population.”

The picture was nothing that wouldn’t be snagged off a public site. A random section of the city, clearly during rush hour traffic with all the people milling about everywhere – people who were all human, all blond-haired, all pale-eyed.

“All of them?”

“Do we have any Jedi who fit?” Jocasta asked. Mace nodded in agreement. He dimly remembered one Padawan who would fit but that would be an even worse idea than Dooku’s.

Yaddle pursed her lips, “I may know of one.”

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)

but the moments like this get to me

Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.

And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."

i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.

he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.

(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)

a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes

everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.

childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.

he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)

[bunnysdollette]

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ you start living your best life when you stop taking everyone else’s shit. let’s just be real 💭🎀

‹𝟹﹒HOW TO LET GO OF OTHER PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU

Hey everyone, it’s me bunnysdollette and this is my secret hideout where I ramble about the events of my life while simultaneously trying to share my advice with you on how to get your shit together aswell. This is completely raw, super-introverted, awkward, anti-social thought daughter shit. This is the only corner of the Internet I feel safe being 100% myself and I’m glad to be sharing that side of me with you today.

Anyway, today’s subject is going to be on learning not to take anyone else’s shit and learn to start putting yourself first. The way you carry and regard yourself ultimately determines how others will view and treat you in life.

As always, my inbox is open and I’m still on the hunt for moots. Getting back into blogging has been so fun and I’m really enjoying it so far. I’m looking forward to meeting new people through this blog. So let’s be friends! I don’t bite. Just remember I’m a minor and I don’t tolerate weird shit either.

‹𝟹 HO, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY

If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and living in a world of paranoia and frequent embarrassment just for showing a fragment of your true self, you will in turn cultivate an environment that is harsh and unforgiving because you have written this code into your mind that says that will be the result all the time no matter what.

We are all human and we are all imperfect, but in order to reach our full potential we have to take our suffering and mistakes and in turn use them as helpful tools for acquiring our dream lives. What has happened to you in the past was truly terrible, but without that you wouldn’t be the person you are today. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. If we are constantly living in a fantasy world, then there is no opportunity for personal development or growth.

Everything is okay now and things will only get better from here. You have to realize that now you are taking the time to invest time in yourself, soon you will experience much happier moments and achieve bigger and better things. Never doubt yourself. ☆

‹𝟹 HO, IT IS WHAT IT IS

You should never worry about what others think. I know it sounds much simpler in theory, but it’s the golden rule of anything that you have to learn to be a more successful and level-headed person. If you are happy and your needs are fulfilled, you shouldn’t give a fuck about what anyone else has to say because they are just looking from the outside in. They are a stranger to you. Their opinion doesn’t hold any value, and your life will go on despite their comments.

Here is how you should look at things. The reality of it is that most of the things you think others think about you are just in your head. I went at my school for years thinking everyone secretly hated me, but that wasn’t the case. I was making it up.

Most people didn’t really have a reason to dislike me, I’m generally liked and regarded as a kind and pleasant person and I know I deserve that. but I would take small interactions and blow it up and overthink. When I started to say negative things to myself, I would notice them coming true. When I would come the next day and instead put more effort into my studies and ignore what others may think of me, I feel much lighter and things generally work out.

Even then, I know people dislike me for whatever reason but it doesn’t bother me anymore because I know who I am and I’m too focused on my own life to cry over it. I can’t change how they feel about me. I can only change what’s in my control. Everything else is just what it is.

thanks for reading

[lvrstrsh]

the way this song is so fitting for the three arcane ships (caitvi, jayvik, timebomb) omg?? maybe not so much caitvi but during their breakup era yes a little bit.

"you're the best thing to ever happen to me but also the worst thing to ever happen to me. on that day when i met you, maybe i would rather that it never happened to me" is SOOOOOO JAYVIK CODED I'M ACTUALLY GONNA JUMP OUT A FUCKING WINDOW JAHHSWQO. viktor saved jayce from killing himself, helped him achieve his life's goal to channel magic. alternatively, jayce helped viktor to be more than just an assistant, gave him purpose and did with hextech what viktor always wanted to do: help people. HOWEVER, them meeting ultimately led to their deaths (actually erm i refuse to believe they're dead and prefer to believe they're in some higher form of existence giving each other cosmic backshots 💜). them meeting helped bring hextech to the world which, as it happens, was the beginning of the end. the formation of the hexcore, viktor turning into robotic jesus, starting the cult, the formation of the anomaly that sent jayce to the ruined dimension (poor guy also lost his mind) so although jayce was able to fulfill his life's dream, it also was the thing that ruined him. if they never met, this all could've been avoided, which is easily seen in the dimension ekko & heimerdinger were sent to. they were best friends, equals in the sense of intellect and generally just two halves of one whole (saw someone on insta relate them to the sin²x + cos ²x = 1 formula and gen crashed the fuck out) hence, the best and worst thing to ever happen to each other.

"why does hearing your name hurt me when it hides right there in the vicinity? what kind of emotion, is it hatred or pure sweetness when i hear your name?" we all know ekko and powder were childhood friends. due to a series of unfortunate events, powder was taken under silco's care — the same person who was the cause of vander's and benzo's death (who were like father figures to ekko). powder became jinx and was working for silco, who was using shimmer to exploit his own people. as ekko grew up, all he did was work to defeat the purpose jinx was working for. imagine how much it must hurt for him to know someone who meant sm to him is doing all this to his people. her name brings bitterness, but also the sweet press of memories of simpler times. then, obviously, ekko was sent to the other dimension. saw that other dimension have everything he ever wanted (except vi ☹️). powder was still HIS powder. his life was playing out just the way he wanted. however it wasn't REAL. he got a glimpse of what could've been. in that dimension ekko and powder grew up to fall in love. imagine coming from your reality where you're enemies, and the being sent to this one where you're lovers. but you can't stay, no matter how happy it makes you. he got a taste of the sweetness that could've been. then he had to go BACK to his reality, where he saw the same girl he could've fallen in love with try to kill herself. and, afterwards, when you've basically saved the world, you're left all alone and are led to believe she's dead (uhm which she's not trust 🙏)

i don't think i have to explain the 'worst of all blessings, the best of all curses' verse in relation to both the ships because AHHHHHWJWJWJWIWIWIWJSIQIQJWIIWIWSIJQIDBCIAOJW

alright guys anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk 😁

[briebysabs]

Since I am such a normal individual I’ve decided to attempt breaking down vanoé’s character song “Le Formidable”. I don’t hear much talk about it but the lyrics are just as cryptic and wild as the OP/ED.

Before we get into it, in terms of translation, I could only find one on YouTube that thankfully color-coded the lyrics so I could decipher who sings what. If anyone has any other translations, I’d love to know please. So a bunch of the lines you can kinda figure out who’s singing but here’s how it’s gonna be:

Vanitas =💙

Noé =💜

Vanoe= 💙💜

Simple enough let’s get into it :)

💜: /I want to stay in bed feeling the warmth of the sun and drift in and out of this sweet dream/

Already we’ve mentioned dreaming, a running theme in this song. There is the well-known line Teacher says in chapter 55...

Sleeping, specifically in regards to Noé, is something mochijun makes the audience take note. He can’t sleep without holding something. When he can’t fall asleep, it is highlighted like the night Vanitas rejected Noé drinking his blood. He doesn’t want Vanitas to disappear and I personally like how in the recent chapter, Vanitas stays by his side for a while. Almost like callback to that moment on the train but I’m getting carried away. You get the correlation I’m making, it’ll get very important later on.

We also have those warmth and sun connections to Noé, a large part of his character and Vanitas’ gravitation towards him.

💙: /With this grey weather today, this day will go by without any harmony/

We see Vanitas’ pessimistic outlook on life; grey, cloudy, devoid of color. Devoid of comfort and obviously these two contrasting people will clash but mix together throughout the song.

💜: /Tarte Tatin, Altus Paris! Endless interesting things!/

💙: /It’s always like this! Here and there, endlessly losing sight./

This seems pretty straightforward, Noé is getting distracted by all the wonderful things as usual and Vanitas chastises him. But let’s frame this another way, Noé is choosing to not focus. It’s simpler that way. He’s turning his focus elsewhere to better things, more pleasant things. And Vanitas is trying to wake him up. I’ll explain more in my theory soon.

💜: /What to look for today from this city/

💙: /Ah with all these things/

💙💜: /There is no time to rest/

Simple lyrics here. No comment.

💙💜: /Le formidable! Le formidable! It’s really easy. Just colliding, rolling down, and repeating again/

Here we are entering the chorus. There’s a common thread of repetition in every OP and ED in VnC. Like clockwork, these two have fallen into this pattern.

Colliding- Vanoé meeting, two worlds learning how to come together, joining as one

Rolling down- their downfall, incoming despair and tragedy

Repeating again- they find themselves back where they started, fated to be born and to die

Let me say the first part of my theory and keep this in the back of your head while remembering the lyrics: VnC is not a time loop in the traditional sense but rather a loop of memories. Also keep in mind the first ED Zero: “Now I remember, oh I have never lived a day without you. Untie the layer of memories...”

💙: /This worthless-/

💜: /wonderful-/

💙💜: /world we are walking on. Even not knowing is sometimes nice, right?/

Again, vanoé with different outlooks on life meet each other. But more importantly, we see the display of ignorance or blissful unawareness. We the audience have a vague idea on how this story ends and in a way, so do they. Vanitas knows very well he is doomed and has already entrusted Noé to end his life if it comes to it. But we also don’t know the specifics of their downfall and neither do they.

So this line has a double meaning that refers to the characters and the reader. As yeah it is nice to read vnc and enjoy the happy moments without knowing the painful details of what’s to come.

💜: /Over there something is flapping their wings/

💙: /And these uncountable days pass by. It’s not worth worrying about. So many unknown things, without meaning/

💜: /Escalier! I want to see the bright colors beyond!/

Noé, again giving his attention to supposedly insignificant things as Vanitas tends to see the larger picture, not caring for the mundane. Uncountable days can be matched with the grey weather mentioned earlier. But that also means things are murky, blur together, cloudy. They don’t make sense to Vanitas (such as love, his self-worth, the nature within people) while Noé wants to experience all the brightness of the world.

💙: /I told you to be quiet today, yet here we are!/

💜: /Now you loud person!/

💙💜: /I told you I hardly have time to breathe/

So, hypothetical scenario if we take this song literal: Vanoé is exploring the city because Noe wanted to Vanitas couldn’t say no. Vanitas is fed up and Noé thinks his complaints are aggravating. But this part shows a lack of understanding. They’re yelling about their own hardships but don’t see the other’s perspective.

💙💜: /Le formidable! Le formidable! It’s a simple thing. It’s just finding, losing sight and repeating again/

💜: /I want to dream/

💙: /It’s just a dream/

💙💜: /The world keep walking while not knowing the truth at this point/

Ok there’s a lot to dig our teeth in here. First of all, the finding, losing sight, repeating is another way of describing the colliding and rolling down said prior. Vanoe find each other, they lose each other, it’s fated to happen all over again. Now the big piece here, I want to dream/It’s just a dream. Surface-level interpretation > another instance of their differences. Noé wants be surrounded by dreams and wonder. While Vanitas looks at that beauty and scoff at it, since it isn’t real therefore not worth caring for. But if we read into this carefully, Noé wants to dream. He wants to stay in these memories, he doesn’t want to live in a world without Vanitas.

Let’s go back to OP 1: “I love this world and the light only you give me.”

We know OP 1 is Noe’s POV so let’s ask ourselves why would the Noé we are seeing, the one smiling at all the colors of the world say Vanitas is the only light he has (emphasis on “only”). Because the Noé singing the first OP is operating with far more knowledge and despair. We don’t know the truth at this point. “This world” is not real.

Allow me to offer what I think is happening. Noé and Vanitas meet, they go on this journey of understanding, trust, and love, Vanitas reaches his end and is killed by Noé. Noé lives on. We can tell the Noé writing this story is full of regret and sadness. But why is he writing this all down? He’s retelling the memories, putting them down physically on paper. Two things happened:

a) He exchanged his name with Naenia, wishing to remain in a world with Vanitas in it. Because that wish is still very present, Naenia has great interest in Noé. She mentions seeing him before in Louis but it could be a classic mochijun misdirect and it’s actually from receiving his name in a different iteration. There is that official art with Noé wearing Vanitas’ coat with that goat entity he saw in Gevaudan, pinned to his vest.

However this can only work if Naenia is still around and isn’t resolved/defeated in the memoirs.

b) This is more likely in my opinion. Noé uses the Books and the memoirs act as a catalyst for him to have the world become his memories or for him to live in them. I know only those with blue blood or something can use the books.

Which is why Dr. Moreau had those experiments with Vanitas and Misha. Don’t worry, I already have a theory that Archivistes are some form of blue moon vampires but that is a whole other discussion. Point is, I think the Books of Vanitas are like an Elliot sword situation. Yes, Elliot owns the Nightray sword and carries it around but you don’t know its true purpose in the story until Leo wields it.

Noé causes these memories to replay, perhaps to save Vanitas or simply to dream again. Go back to when he was last happy. But here’s the thing, the Noé in this memory is unaware or ignorant of this, sees his present world as the real one and undergoes the events of the series. Vanitas dies, he lives on, and creates a memory world for himself. Rinse, recycle, repeat. Essentially, the first ED gave it away. The entirety of VnC is a layer of memories. Even the narrator Noé we are hearing is a memory that is trying to manifest a world of his own.

Reality and dreams are all intertwined now and Noé got lost in it. There are leaks in the cracks, for example when Vanitas cries and tells Luna his mother died at childbirth why would he call to her. Initially, you can read this as he’s just missing what he never had. But what if Vanitas’ mother was present in his life 9 memory loops ago but because these memories get further from the truth the more it happens, Noé simply forgot that detail when making the memoirs at some point in time. So now, in the memory layer #52 Vanitas has no mother.

💜: /We will see what we “cannot see”/

💙: /We will know what we “don’t know”/

💙💜: /The final stop of this world that seems to be changing, seems only further ahead/

Noe’s line possibly goes into his Archiviste nature and how he experiences reading memories. It can as well build back into the dream/memory loop thing, he’s seeing things he can no longer “see.”

Vanitas’ line can be drawn to what Noé said during their fight.

Vanitas acts like he has the final word and has a full grasp of how this world/himself works. But he really doesn’t and Noé is living proof of that, proving him wrong on several occasions that there’s still hope, they can’t give up yet, he won’t leave him etc. The final stop of this world is changing, but it’s further ahead. This is a story, a preserved section of time from the past. We gotta ask ourselves... why would the last stop be changing? Again, Vanitas’ death is the final stop but it’s changing, perhaps from the countless iterations we’ve gone through Noé writes the memoirs in a way that delays the ending. So he could remain just a little longer…

💙💜: /Le formidable! Le formidable! Everything is fine. While forgetting, hiding, and repeating it/

💙: /This worthless/

💜: /wonderful/

💙💜: /world we are walking on/

💙: /I don’t know but even so/

💜: /If it can make you smile.../

After this, it ends the song by repeating the first chorus with the colliding-rolling down part so I’ll make this the cutting point. The “everything is fine” totally doesn’t stick out in a story where we know everything will not be fine. The forgetting and hiding goes back to my dream-memory theory, Noé is hiding from the truth in these stacks upon stacks of memories and is possibly forgetting things as they really happened as a result. We already know he isn’t the most reliable narrator. But Noé wants to see Vanitas’ smile.

If it can make you smile again, if it can replay your laughter, why would I ever leave this wonderful lie? In OP 1: “Your laughing was reflected by a daydream”.

I’ll conclude this by saying two things. If you want to get even deeper, you can interpret Vanitas in this song as the voice in the back of Noé’s head. Its just a dream, this world is actually worthless, and Noé is trying to drown out those thoughts. Because yeah they sing lines together but the only time they’re directly speaking to each other is when Vanitas scolds Noé and Noé shouts back, calling him loud. Finally, I could be wrong in all this. I am aware how crazy I may look and I'm so thankful if you read this far.

But yeah if this is anywhere near canon, mochijun must be the most unhinged, absolutely cracked author I’ve ever seen. We’re going into Pandora Hearts levels of intricacy here. I hope you enjoyed my insanity 👍🏼

[puhpandas]

Noticing how mxes is resisting/looks upset when it basically got kidnapped, do you think it’s AI could also have realistic emotions just like the glamrocks? It’s hard to be sure because if we’re going off with the theory (basically confirmed) that mxes existed in the 70s/80s I don’t know if tech that high would exist by then. Maybe Vanessa and Gregory upgraded it/programmed it to be like the glamrocks?

I love the idea that mxes is even a little sentient. I think they would have less range of emotion than the glamrocks, because the glamrocks visibly went insane after being stuck in the pizzaplex for like a year while mxes (if it was 3 star fams van) was trapped in the factory for like 60 years before getting taken and looks like they're fine

I think mxes would be the earliest example of a sentient ai (besides the mimic), because the funtimes were def sentient with no possession and that was like the mid/late 80s (in sl)? the funtimes felt pain and had the desire to leave and could plan and think and manipulate, but I think mxes is sentient enough to be able to think and want things but they just want to fulfill their purpose.

like, they could be sentient if they were updated I think, at least more than before, but I think they're a more simplified version of the kind of sentience the funtimes and glamrocks had. they're way more sentient youd ever expect a rabbit ai from the early 80s to be, but they arent borderline human like Freddy. they still have Robotic/digital qualities that Freddy would lose, and clearly seem content in ruin just sticking around there to keep the mimic trapped. that's why I think they have simpler wants and dreams than the glamrocks and funtimes. they were created to keep the mimic at bay and enjoy that purpose, while freddy was created to perform and be the face of Fazbear but he eventually grew to hate it

but anyway I think its totally capable of being sentient on it's own with fnafs track record of sentient robots/ais in the 80s. but I also dont think 3 star would update them to be more sentient bc. mxes wants what they want. and it isnt cruel to keep them how they are, and would probably be risky editing their code and programming since it's so old. theyd probably want to keep it anyway, in case mxes has old knowledge about mimic they dont. it's not for a sinister reason, but they DID take them to put in the pizzaplex to keep mimic trapped so. and with how 1 of 3 members is a robot that grew out of his purpose I think they wouldnt want that to happen. but mxes seems to want to anyway and their goals line up, so I think they wouldnt have done it

[friendsim2]

do you think you'd also be interested in revealing story concepts that were either changed or scrapped before the final product? You've talked before on just making it a smaller project focusing on a handful of characters and it had me curious on that and whatever other concepts you or others had in mind that didn't make it or were changed

Yes, a few things changed during the course of development.

A few highlights:

Originally, the concept was a more straightforward "MSPAR goes and saves everyone" but this was scrapped as being not super interesting. This was mostly in the original planning stages, back before we were planning to make original art assets - so it would've been a much simpler project that was a bit more in line with the tone and feeling of the original Friendsim.

The whole "dream sequence" bit of volume 12 was originally completely different - there's actually a bit of cut content there that was actually finished. There was a trial sequence where Tagora and Tyzias are facing off against each other, and then there were these walk-around hallucinations where you saw echoes of some of your past decisions from earlier volumes. Technicolor Heart was a "what-if?" concept that ended up spiraling out because I had a lot of assets I could re-use from another, unfinished game where I'd made a lot of the backgrounds. A bunch of them are photos that I (Jonaya) took traveling in Texas, and some of them are renders that I did a few years back. The art for Maria, Aradia, and Rannel (and the cats) is also re-used from the same unreleased game. The rest of the TCH bit was made possible by not having voiced dialogue and me writing literally the entire script, coding everything, and doing all the UI (which is a pretty shameless rip-off of homage to the Dream Daddy UI).

The concept for volume 1 was originally this: "Tagora and Galekh get into a legal dispute over pre-nup stuff that Galekh tries to stick into the marriage vows. Stelsa and Tyzias pick sides and who the player supports and how the mediation goes determines what Tagora and Galekh decide to do. (specifically Galekh)"

The original volume 8 concept is simply listed as: "Tirona is a fake journalist."

Volume 6 was originally going to be a more on-the-nose discussion of what being queer means in Alternian society, which morphed into the whole quadrant vacillation/multiple people in a quadrant thing that it ended up being.

Volume 9 was originally going to have Tegiri/Polypa/Mallek specifically breaking into the dry dock to rescue the gold bloods that were being held there, which ended up being split off with volume 9 having a more self-contained plotline about attacking the Empire's supply lines and volume 10 dealing with the gold bloods.

We batted around a lot of different possible concepts for volume 12, specifically how Gl'bgolyb was involved and how the whole dreamscape thing would manifest itself.

The Metal Gear-esque segments of Volume 3 (among others) were originally a "could this work in RenPy?" experiment that ended up spinning off into basically every mini-game that the game has.

Volume 3 was re-written a couple times to coordinate better with Volume 4 and how Marsti was characterized. Originally she was much more enthusiastic about being a pilot for the Empire, and her more bitter, anti-Empire vibes were a result of the Volume 4 writer's feedback. The bits where you hang out on the rust-blood side of the compound for a while was also added in to give you more of a view into the day-to-day of their life and what Marsti's doing for them, which also makes what Konyyl and Skylla end up doing more meaningful to the overall plot.

Volume 3 had a version where it's actually Marsti who agreed to plant the charges on the airfield, which was scrapped in favor of having her be unaware of the plot until MSPAR finds her to let her know what's going on.

Volume 5 was originally going to talk a little bit more about how popular culture and fandom connect to the Alternian Empire - volume 5 ended up becoming a more introspective character-focused route, and volume 8 kind of picked up some of the "how media works in Alternia" slack.

Volume 7 was, unsurprisingly, not going to originally include "Hiveswap Act 1/2 but in RenPy" as a thing. This came up as a possibility during the writing process and the plot of the route (blackmailing Zebruh) ended up coming out of that naturally. The original concept was to be pretty much solely focused on the Alternian entertainment industry and how it supports Imperial propaganda, but the more personal focus on the characters was distilled from that to show their place within that system and how they respond to it.

Actually, in general the original concepts for a few routes were more "big picture" and going to talk about themes of how Alternia as a society works, but a lot of that was honed in to specifically look at how the people in the routes act within those systems rather than trying to "very special episode" the concepts/worldbuilding. For example, rather than just saying "Imperial propaganda sucks and is bad and Ardata isn't happy because she's given her life to something that feels hollow" to show how warped her whole perception of everything has become through her interactions with MSPAR. Or to show Xefros and Chixie's disillusionment with the systems that uplifted them as low-blood only insofar as they were able to entertain the Empire.

Volume 13 originally had a bit where you talk to the Sylph of Space more in-depth, including a version that was more meta and talked to the player specifically instead of MSPAR. There were at least three revisions of this conversation that gradually trimmed it down and tried to make it feel more impactful, and finally I just cut the whole bit entirely, choosing instead to end on the cliffhanger of "Scratch is back and he's not super jazzed with how much you've been altering the timeline" which felt like a stronger choice than trying to Say Something™ to the player.

Volume 14 was always supposed to be a showcase of how far the timeline had deviated from the original due to MSPAR's involvement (with the weird stuff around Damara and Scratch being killable now and Lord English being gone), but there was a long period where I wasn't sure how the actual end bit would manifest itself. Adding the game script as an item and introducing that bit of meta-narrative was a late decision to tie things together between Boldir, Scratch, and Damara.

Whether or not MSPAR would get their powers back wasn't a settled question originally. There was a point where killing Scratch would give them their powers back and that was how they got everyone home, but that felt narratively kind of flat - like MSPAR would just become basically a god again who could do whatever the fuck they wanted with Scratch gone, so why not just use their First Guardian powers to also fix Alternia? But part of the point of the game is that there isn't a magical fix-everything solution to the problems of the world, so MSPAR has to learn to live without their powers again and the people of Alternia are able to determine their own fate. Things have been improved by killing Scratch and positioning Trizza in a place of power but nothing is guaranteed.

Trizza wasn't originally going to be a part of the story, and when she was I wasn't originally sure how she would be involved in the plot. I had a long conversation with a friend about Meenah and her place in Beforan society and it got me thinking about doing a version of Trizza who had, through her upbringing, become a more sympathetic and kind person and how she would respond to the situation she was in. Part of the throughline to the game is "what if people change?" so we see versions of people who become worse people, but also people who become better - and the impetus for that and the ramifications of it are interesting to explore.

Other stuff changed over the course of production for various reasons (assets changed, re-worked, character designs tweaked, etc.) but those are the bigger narrative or gameplay aspects that changed over time.

[yunoteru4ever]

Things I've been meaning to read and/or post about Sakae Esuno/Future Diary but haven't yet, because time makes fools of us all

This post is probably more of a means for me to vent my own guilt RE: "why haven't I done these things yet?!" than anything.. and maybe if I'm lucky, this will motivate me to actually work on some of them. But I guess we'll see. Sorry in advance.

I posted this giant "part 1" of an intended, even-larger Big Order review ages ago (literally almost 15 months now!) but Part 2 has become this... absolute monstrosity. It's become clear to to me that trying to actually list or even summarize the differences between the Big Order manga and anime is like trying to wrap your arms around the sun. The separation points are so massive that it's partly fused with infinity, and that has become such an imposing task that is also being written for a relatively small audience that I think I need I need to seriously change my approach. I have a "Draft" saved that's huge and has barely scratched the surface, but I think I should grind that down to some simpler, more generalized descriptions before continuing. And the other part of that is that it's now been so long since I read the series that I probably need to do it again as I progress through the differences! OOOOF.

I really want to talk more on here about the Great White Whale of untranslated Sakae Esuno manga and his last original series, The Detective Akechi is Berserk! It deals with a teenage girl who has dreamed of becoming a detective who gets forced into an awkward/uncomfortable partnership with her hero, the deceased Detective Akechi, who can possess her to speak through her and who also suffers from some post-mortem madness. I think the series suffers a bit from having a lot of fanservice (the first kind) in its first volume — not that we haven't seen stuff like that from Esuno before, just that it seems to be heavier/more frequen there — and I haven't personally read past Volume 1 yet. From just flipping through the pages, it does appear to drop the fanservice trend partway into the second volume? I didn't see any of that stuff in the back half of volume 2 or in volumes 3 and 4... but again, I haven't actually READ any of them, because that will require translation work on my end, and @sunniedesi's comments on the series in this post seem to indicate that maybe the trend DOES continue in some warped-ass ways. What I can tell y'all so far is that this is closer to Hanako and the Terror of Allegory than it is to either Future Diary or Big Order. But of course, I love all THREE of those mangas, so it's not like I consider leaning towards Hanako's storytelling style to be a bad thing. Sadly, the only scanlation online is of the very first chapter... the series as a whole remains widely out of reach, so I'd really like to work on either translating it (which would be a massive undertaking) or at least generally summarizing it so I can talk about it more in the larger context of Esuno's ouvré.

Hey, guess what ELSE I still haven't read up until now??? The damned Future Diary PSP game!!! I've held out hope for too long that someone would actually patch the translation into the game proper so I could experience it as intended, but... it seems like that project is likely very dead or, at best, going to take very long to see the light of day. I've actually started to look into how that kind of thing is done myself in the hopes that maybe I could do some of the work on my end, but... it looks like a LONG uphill climb of programs/code to understand before I could pull anything off. So it's high time I stop living in denial, stop putting it off, and finally read @sunniedesi's translation of the text. It's only been just sitting there waiting for my eyeballs for TWO FUCKING YEARS, after all.

[loserlvrss]

｡ ｡ 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄 ( 조.𝐆𝐇 )─────베리베리

( 一月 ). ──you and gyehyeon broke up on mutual terms, but neither one of you thought it was mutual now. 조계현 &fem!rea. ⟡ drabble, angst, fluff warn. language wc : 676HUN ++( 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 )

노트 zanna im sorry im feeling particularly emo rn

Was it cruel to not wish the best on someone, even if you’d said the opposite on multiple occasions? Did it make you a bad person to lie, simply because you couldn’t get over it?

Countless searches on the internet to pinpoint how you felt. Tabs on tabs open inside your brain. You needed the validation that other people could give you. You needed the echoes of your thought-reflected doubts to subside. Maybe some random person understood the rain-shower that drenched you in uncertainty better than you did. 

You couldn’t—you didn’t…but you did. 

It was the labyrinth you were stuck inside. The circles you kept drawing around his name. If there was treasure at the end of the rainbow, was it him? Did you really want to know if it was? 

In real life, you were reminded how complicated it was; feelings, thoughts, and expressions. Everything piled up until you felt like you were left in the middle of a burning room, staring at the silhouette of someone you…loved? 

God, it was stupid. 

It was another bitter-laced poison in your veins, another sign you got good at ignoring. You loved him—how stupid. 

Love was grasping at something uncertain. A feeling that made you want to scream into your pillow. A feeling that makes your skin hot and your heart beat at an unsteady pace. 

How fucking stupid. You shouldn’t love him, but you go back and forth between wanting him and pretending that you don’t. 

“Y/n,” The man that your heart skipped for, waved his hand in front of your face. “Did you hear a word I just said?” 

You let out a pained laugh, “No?” 

“Oh,” He replied, casting a bright smile onto you—you swear he did it on purpose. He ran his hand through his hair, looking off to the side momentarily. 

Oh, how stupidly pretty he looked. How stupidly nervous his silence made you. You wanted to admire, but you feared it would be short-lived when all you wanted was forever. 

You were reminded of a time when it was simpler, when you didn’t shy away from his eye contact or friendly hugs. When you didn’t know him at all. When he wasn’t the cure to all your illness, the light at the end of a dark and twisted tunnel. You were reminded of a time when you could fall asleep without him invading your dreams, and when you didn’t wish upon every stupid star in the sky. 

But then it seemed like overnight everything was complicated.

You called him yours, even if only for a moment. And when it was over—though shortly after it began—it left you cut off at the head. You felt like you were aimlessly running, all directions leading you back to something you couldn’t have. 

But, God did he make it hard to stay…and even harder to stay away. 

If love was the cure to all, then you had to admit you were sick. Sick and tired of pretending you could get over it. Sick and tired of not sleeping because you were lonely. Sick and tired of being sad because you didn’t get to call him your boyfriend anymore, throwing a one-man pity party. 

Even if it was only for that short moment, you feared he was already engraved in your code and steadily swimming through your veins. 

“I said I was sorry,” 

You blinked with wide-eyes, “What?” 

“I’m sorry that we hurt each other but,” He clarified, reminding you of a time when you once could call it mutual, “I can’t get over it.”

And you never would.

He continued, barely giving you a moment of intake before he was bombarding you with words you only dreamt of hearing, “I know it’s lame because we said it was for the better but I really don’t know what to do without you.” 

“Is that why you called?” 

“Isn’t that why you came?” 

You took a deep breath, biting your lip and humming a confirmation. He knew but needed to hear it. 

“I love you, y/n. Could you still…love me?” 

Always, it seemed.

© loserlvrss 2025. 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱.

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[starpity]

BLACK TIE AFFAIR-pt 1

pairing: girlfriend!ellie x plus-sized fem reader

warnings/themes: slight pinch of loser!ellie, she’s just kind of a sweetheart but stupid in this, smut, oral sex r! receiving, semi-public sex, dom/sub undertones, submissive ellie, begging, cross posted on ao3 under the same title and author, new chapter coming soon

synopsis: Ellie’s new girlfriend Really wants to see her in a suit

a/n: 1) i wrote this in a fugue state it is completely unedited and i may not ever edit it. if things seem out of character thats bc they are <3
2) the reader in this is racially ambiguous on purpose but im not being ambiguous abt the fact that shes fat!!!!!!!!! im giving ellie a plus sized love interest n no one can stop me.

You didn’t throw the party just to have sex with Ellie, but you’d be lying if that wasn’t at least 3/4 of your motivation. You’d sent the invites out with some sweet words about bringing friends together to celebrate the end of a beautiful summer and the start of a new season, but the real reason was much simpler: you wanted to see your new girlfriend dressed up. Ellie was a pretty casual girl, on all the dates you two had been on she’d worn nice jeans and tops that showed off her muscles and tattoos. You loved the way she looked in her clothes, and especially loved how she looked out of them, but there was a little part of your brain that was dying to see her really dressed up. When you’d spotted a suit jacket at the back of her closet while looking for a shirt to steal, your little dream had become a full on obsession and the party invites with your formal dress code were sent out within the week.

-

By 3pm, the party was perfectly set. You’d started the day off in a messy old tshirt and shorts while you hauled tables out onto the back lawn and swatted spiderwebs out of the corners of the porch, but it was finally time for you to get dressed. Your backyard looked beautiful; the tables were covered in jewel colored tablecloths you’d thrifted, and the tops were decked in purple hydrangeas and golden cone flowers and english ivy you’d pulled from your garden. Sprinkled throughout the flowers were candles of all different sizes, waiting for the first signs of sunset to be lit. The trees were hung with strands of glowing lights that reached across the firepit and wound around the fence posts and trellises of the back garden. From your vantage point by the fence line, you could see the battery-powered candles in every window of the house waiting to be turned on, and hear the faint threads of some country song from the kitchen window where your best friend was finishing up her lemon cake for the party. The pillows on the porch chairs had all been fluffed and arranged, and the soft glow of the string lights in the rafters made the whole porch look cozy and inviting. Everything was perfect, and now it was time for you to be too. After one last adjustment to the flowers on the drinks table, you headed inside to get ready.

-

After showering off the sweat and grime of the early morning, you laid your dress out on your bed. You’d chosen a gorgeous golden velvet dress that showed off the curves of your body perfectly. In the past, there had been times you felt uncomfortable with dresses as clinging as this one, but something about the way Ellie’s eyes lit up whenever she saw your body had made you start to forget that discomfort. You wanted her eyes and hands on you all night, and this dress would certainly do it. The deep gold of the dress made your skin and eyes shimmer, and the way it bunched at your hips would hopefully have Ellie pushing the skirt up around your waist as soon as possible. You kept your hair simple, braids pulled back into a knot at the back of your head with a few ringlet curls framing your face. You paired your favorite gold necklace with a pair of dangling golden star earrings, and smudged your eyelids with a soft brown eyeshadow that brought out the warmth of your eyes. You finished up your makeup with a bubblegum scented lipgloss and dabbed some flowery perfume behind your ears. Your heels were a shimmering gold that matched your dress, and you’d gotten your nails done with a simple gloss coat the day before to offset all the gold. You looked classy and radiant, and you couldn’t wait for Ellie to ruin it.

-

The party started around 5. Your friends arrived decked out in autumn colors of orange and red and brown and yellow, each one carrying food and drinks and flowers to share. The house radiated with the scent of apples and cinnamon and oranges as a simmer pot bubbled on the kitchen stove, and the music bubbled along with it beneath the gentle uproar of your friends greeting each other. The reaction to your dress was a catcall from your best friend, and whistles and yells from several others. Several people asked when Ellie would be here, as today would be the first time she met any of your friends. You’d been a bit worried about Ellie meeting such a large group of your friends at once because you knew she could be anxious when it came to new people, but she had insisted she would be fine. You told your friends that Ellie would be a bit late as you had asked her to stop and pick up some extra champagne glasses on her way here.

-

As Ellie stepped in the door, you realized that you had made a huge mistake. You should’ve come up with a plan to get Ellie into a suit that didn’t involved 30 of your closest friends and an hours-long dinner party, because you weren’t going to make it through the night when she looked like that. Rather than the black suit from her closet that you had assumed she would wear, Ellie was wearing a beautifully tailored brown suit that made her look tall and elegant and so handsome you wanted to cry. Her hair was done up in her usual half-up-half-down style, but you could tell she’d used some kind of product to style her bangs and make her hair looks soft and shiny. She set down the box of champagne flutes on the nearest table and pulled you into a hug before leaning back to look at your dress again. The color of her suit complimented your dress perfectly. Her mouth was open slightly and her cheeks were rosy as she looked you up and down. She smiled shyly and mumbled, “Hi baby, you look gorgeous” into your hair as she pulled you back against her again. You could tell from her posture and the way she was trying to tuck herself into you- a silly sight considering she was several inches taller- that she was nervous to introduce herself to your friends, but she reached back over to the box she’d brought in and pulled out a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers. She handed them over to you with another shy smile and a blush as she looked you up and down again.

“Oh my god baby these are beautiful, thank you”, you said as you pulled her down into a kiss. Turning around, you began to introduce Ellie to your friends that were crowded around the kitchen counter picking at the cheese board you had laid out earlier. You tried to pay attention as Ellie responded to a question from your friend Jesse, but for some reason the shine of the lights on Ellie’s hair and way she was holding your hand was making all the thoughts slide out of your brain like water off glass. You wanted her so badly, but you weren’t gonna ruin her chance to bond with your friends by dragging her off to a bedroom and fucking her. You were gonna sit through this night like a civilized human being. You were.

-

You were gonna kill yourself before the night ended. Ellie was so close to you, looking so insanely attractive in her dress clothes, and she was so. Fucking. Clueless.

The party was going great; The appetizers were getting eaten up faster than you could serve them, and the drinks were going even faster. Groups of people had settled on the porch, and at some of the outer tables and chairs, leaving the long dinner table empty until it was time for the meal to start. Ellie seemed to really be hitting it off with Jesse, so you’d left the two of them talking for a while while you made sure all the food was in the oven for dinner and the candles in the windows were turned on. The sun wasn’t exactly set yet, but it was starting to get darker at the edges of the yard and you’d seen the first few fireflies of the night start to blink their hellos. Once the last candle was lit, you went back over to check on Ellie.

You stopped a few yards away from the table where Ellie and Jesse were sitting, and just watched them for a while. Ellie looked so beautiful. Her eyes were sparkling and she was gesturing animatedly at Jesse; they were definitely arguing about something. There was a blush high on Ellie’s cheeks from the glass of whiskey in her hands. You loved her hands, the way the rings she wore made her fingers look even longer, the way the veins stood out when she flexed her hands around the glass, the way her hands looked when they wrapped around your wrists and your legs and your throat. She had taken off her suit jacket and rolled her sleeves up to her elbows to show off her forearm tattoo to Jesse, and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into her lap and kiss her in front of the whole party.

“Hey, baby!”, you called out as you walked over to her. Ellie looked towards you with a smile that took your breath away, and waved you over to the table she sat at with Jesse.

“Hi, love. Everything going okay?”, Ellie said as you came to a stop beside her chair, tilting her head up to look at you.

“Yup, everything’s going amazing so far.” You pressed a kiss into her temple and stood with your elbows resting on her shoulders, leaning over her to talk to Jesse.

“Is Jesse bothering you, Ellie? Do I need to steal you away?”, you asked teasingly. You were internally begging for her to say yes so you two could least go make out in a dark corner somewhere for a minute and blow off some steam. Up close, her hands looked even more beautiful and you wanted them wrapped around your neck instead of that stupid glass.

“No baby I’m fine,” she said with that stupid, stupid, sweet smile of hers. “I’m having a good time”.

“Okay, love.” You pressed a kiss to the top of her head and walked off then. You would be a good girlfriend and let Ellie make friends, and you wouldn’t pout about it.

-

You were definitely pouting. Another hour had passed, the sun was finally starting to sink beneath the clouds, and Ellie still hadn’t gotten up from that fucking table with Jesse. Your friend Dina had come over to the table too now, and the three of them were talking and yelling like they’d known each other their whole lives. Ellie had rejected your hints and requests to come with her twice now, and you were honestly starting to regret ever introducing her to your friends.

In your second attempt, you had fully sat yourself in Ellie’s lap at the table and asked her to come to the bathroom with you to ‘fix your dress’, but you either had the dumbest girlfriend in the world or the sweetest. Ellie had spun you around and said, “How could I fix it? You look absolutely perfect baby”. You only just barely stopped yourself from stomping away.

However, another half-hour and several shots with your friends had passed and you felt ready to try again. This time, there would be no way Ellie could possibly miss your meaning. Locking the door of the bathroom behind you, you pulled up the hem of your skirt and pulled off your panties. You’d picked the pair out special this morning, as Ellie had never seen you wearing anything as intricately lacy and sheer as these. You had wanted to surprise her, but at this point you were unsure if Ellie would ever see them because you felt like you were never going to want to have sex again if this didn’t work.

Heading back outside with the panties tucked discreetly away in your fist, you made your way over to the table where Ellie, Jesse, Dina, and a few more of your friends were all sitting. Ignoring everyone but Ellie, you came up behind her and draped yourself over the back of her chair, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

“You have 10 seconds to get up and follow me. I’m not asking you again.” Pressing a kiss Ellie’s cheek and ignoring the sweet, confused look on her face, you reached down into her lap and slipped the panties into her hand. Her eyes darted down at the feeling of lace in her palm, and her eyes widened as you started to walk away. As you turned around and headed back towards the house, you heard Ellie start to stutter out an excuse, followed by the sound of a chair creaking, a glass shattering, and Jesse and Dina both cursing at full volume.

-

Ellie opened the bathroom door and your hands were on her shoulders in an instant, pushing her back up against the wall and reaching behind her to close and lock the door.

“Took you long enough”, you said, reaching up to grab her face and pull her down into a rough kiss.

“I’m sorry baby, I knocked over a glass and I-“

“Don’t care,” you interrupted. “I’ve been trying to get your attention all night and you’ve been glued to Jesse instead.”

“Baby, I-“

“Nope! You have an outrageously hot girlfriend and you’ve been neglecting her all night. I don’t wanna hear excuses.”

Ellie’s cheekbones were covered in a bright red flush now and she opened her mouth to speak before swallowing and trying again. “I’m sorry baby, you look beautiful,” she said, eyes darting quickly down to your cleavage before looking back up at your eyes. “How can I make it up to you?”

“There we go, sweetheart” you said, loosening the grip you had on her wrist and instead winding your fingers into her hair and pulling her down to kiss you again. Her mouth opened on a gasp just as your lips met and she pulled herself into your body, her hands coming to rest on your ass and the middle of your back, crushing you closer into her. She pushed you back into the sink, the upper halves of your bodies leaning backwards while your legs tangled together and she slid the hand on your ass down to hitch your leg up around her hip. She kissed you deeper, pressing every inch of her body as close to yours as she could get.

The force of her kiss surprised you, and you felt dizzy when she finally pulled away from your lips. Her head ducked and she began pressing kisses to your neck, mumbling something into the hot skin behind your ears.

“What was that, baby?”

“M’sorry”, she mumbled again, pressing another kiss to your skin. “M’sorry, m’sorry,” she repeated, pressing a kiss into your skin for each apology. You wanted to give in right then, pull her into another hug and call her your sweet girl, but the press of each kiss was sending sparks across your skin and Ellie only grew needier with each touch of lips to skin. She bit down gently in the spot she knew you liked, and worried the skin between her teeth as you gasped and cupped the back of her head with your hand. Your other hand was braced against the counter, trying to hold yourself up against the force of your girlfriend’s apologies. Ellie surged forward and suddenly scooped you up, the muscles of her arms flexing under her shirt, before setting you down gently on top of the counter. The sink was digging squarely into your back and you were vaguely worried about the entire vanity collapsing under the two of you, but you were willing to ignore your worries for now. Ellie’s hand was right next to yours, the tattoo on her forearm flexing as she gripped the marble counter. Her other hand still had your leg hitched around her waist and she was pressing every inch of herself into the gap between your legs, trying to get you to forgive her with your body if not in words.

She pressed a final kiss to the base of your neck before reaching to pull the strap of your dress and the cup of your bra to the side. She licked and sucked at your exposed nipple, moaning quietly into your skin. The hand that wasn’t holding you up flew to your mouth as you tried to hold in a gasp. The feeling of Ellie’s tongue on your skin, the soft material of your dress now hanging off one shoulder, and the press of Ellie and the marble counter on both sides of your body was making it hard to think or breathe, much less remember to keep your voice down in case there was someone outside the bathroom door. Your pussy was uncomfortably wet, the lack of panties making you feel every press and shift of Ellie’s hips through the soft velvet of your dress. You sent up a fervent prayer that your dress wouldn’t be too ruined to wear for the rest of the night before Ellie drove all the thoughts out of your head again as she bit down on your nipple. You finally let out a moan as your head tipped back against the mirror above the sink, and you felt Ellie’s mouth leave your skin for the first time since she’d started.

You were absolutely turned on out of your mind, but you managed a semi-believable haughty voice.

“Did I tell you to stop?”, you breathed out as you picked your head back up and looked down at her again.

Ellie looked back up at you silently, and the look in her eyes-pupils blown wide and adoring- sent a wave of heat through your body from head to toe. Instead of answering, she lowered herself down to the floor, the beautiful lines of her suit crumpling as she settled herself on her knees between your legs. Her hands came up to rest on your thighs just below where your dress ended, dimpling the soft skin there as she dug her fingers into you. The rings on her fingers were cold against your skin, but every other part of your body felt like it was burning.

“Please”, she breathed out, one of her hands reaching up to clutch at the hem of your dress. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your dress-covered cunt before resting her head against your thigh, breathing heavily.

“Sweet girl,” you said, cupping her face gently in your hand and tilting it up to look at you, “You’ve got yourself all worked up, huh?”. She nodded her head into your hand, before turning and kissing the palm of the hand against her cheek. Her hands fell away from your legs, balling up in her lap as she waited for you to say more. You could feel the heat of her cheek against your palm, her eyes looking slightly watery against the burn of her embarrassment. You could tell she loved it though, from the way her mouth sat slightly open and she rubbed her balled fists against the tops of her thighs.

“You want me to fuck your face, sweet girl? Is that what you want?”. You rubbed a thumb across her cheekbone as a single, burning tear of embarrassment fell across her face.

She nodded fiercely and breathed out a, “Yes, please”. She looked so determined you wanted to laugh and tell her you hadn’t really been mad at all, but she was obviously getting off on this and you weren’t about to cut it short. Besides, your cunt was aching and you thought you might go insane soon if you didn’t get what you’ve been waiting for since you came up with this stupid party idea.

“Go ahead, love”. Ellie didn’t need any further encouragement. She reached out with surprising forcefulness and yanked your hips forward, until your lower half was nearly off the counter. Still on her knees, she pushed your dress up and licked into your pussy like she was starving. The first touch of her tongue was enough to have you cracking your head on the mirror again, startling a laugh and a moan out of you in the same breath. Ellie didn’t stop, and you wondered if she could even hear you. You could barely hear yourself, the pounding of your heart in your ears mixing with the underlying thump of the music from somewhere outside.

Ellie’s arms wrapped around the outside of your thighs and held you tight, fingers digging into the velvet of your dress as she held it up bunched at your hips. Her tongue dragged across your clit like a match striking, sending a blistering heat through your chest that burned through every part of your body. Ellie’s face was slick already, and you could feel her sucking gently at your clit between swipes of her tongue. Her fingers kept flexing against your upper thighs, gripping tighter and tighter until the skin there was flushed and irritated. You scooted your hips further off the counter, pressing your cunt harder into Ellie’s mouth. She moaned against you, and the noise you made in response was definitely audible to anyone within 20 feet of the bathroom door. You stuffed your hand into your mouth, biting down hard on your knuckles to try and keep quiet. Ellie seemed to take that as a challenge, licking into you harder and faster until the whimpers coming out of your mouth were constant. She held you tight against her with her right arm, and used her left to push your leg further out of her way, leaving your golden heel dangling over her shoulder. Your hands were in her hair, absolutely ruining the bun she had so carefully styled before the party.

You started to feel dizzy, the focus of the world dulling until the only things you knew were the feelings of Ellie’s tongue against you, and your fingers in her hair, and the burning in your chest that was spreading down your arms and legs until every finger and toe was on fire. Your eyes closed, and you fought the urge to close your legs around Ellie’s head. Your fingers slid through her hair and spasmed against her back, scratching at her skin through the crisp whiteness of her shirt. Everything in you wanted to snap, to jerk away from the feeling burning through you. It was too much. It was, you were going to tell Ellie that it was too much, that you couldn’t take it anymore, but when you went to say it the only word that came out was her name. Ellie gave another gentle suck on your clit, pulling on your hips and grinding your cunt into her face as hard as she could, and everything shattered.

Your legs snapped shut around Ellie’s head, trapping her head between your thighs. She pushed back fiercely against the inside of your legs, forcing them open and continuing to lick into you while your body shook against her mouth. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears and it felt like every ounce of blood in your body was right up against Ellie’s tongue, being kissed at and licked and sucked. You pushed her head away and finally closed your legs, your lower body still spasming against your will as you leaned back against the mirror, trying to breathe.

Ellie’s hands were on you again then, hand behind your neck pulling you limply away from the mirror to rest your head against her shoulder. You giggled, empty-headed as you buried your face against her neck, breathing in the smell of sweat and her cologne and your body. You slung your arms loosely across Ellie’s shoulders, pulling her in closer to you.

“Hi baby”, you whispered.

“Hi,” Ellie whispered back. Giving you a mind-numbing orgasm seemed to have brought Ellie back to herself a bit, her eyes were focused again and she smiled when you leaned your head back into her neck and moaned again, aftershocks making your legs kick gently at the back of Ellie’s thighs. “Was that good?”

“Mhmmmm”, you moaned out, smile twisting your lips at the end of the noise. You would gather up the scraps of your dominant personality and start bossing Ellie around again soon, but for now your head was blissfully empty except for the gentle pulse of EllieEllieEllieEllie in your head like a heartbeat.

[garvet]

For as long as G53U could remember, the world had been full of magic. Probably ever since he'd reached for a sleek, shiny air analyzer—bright as cartoon candy—and licked it, saying, “Sweet.” Of course, the analyzer itself wasn’t sweet. The sweetness was the sensation of ions on the surface of his sensors. He learned to distinguish them by their names and properties a little later. Metals, synthetics, gases—everything spoke to him. The world sang, and he could guess the words, putting them together into spells. At first, only in his mind.

After the first Augmentation phase, when he moved into the training group for future systems analysts, he was given access to manuals and reference books from the company feed. Pretty soon, he learned all of them. The only books relatively available to his group were those on engineering and systems maintenance. Part of that contained magic, too.

When G53U first met a construct—brought to the class for analysis—and was able to touch it, it felt like falling into a vat of syrup. The incredible synthetics it was composed of made G53U dizzy. If he’d had the right words to describe it, he could have laid out all the top-secret information about the manufacturing company on the training console. All the connections between artificial tissues and mechanical parts obeying the electronic code. It was mesmerizing.

But for the super-secret chemistry and code, he lacked the words. Even so, he promised himself then and there that he would become the greatest wizard in the world.

After the second and third stages of augmentation, everything became clearer and simpler. The knowledge he lacked, he learned to steal. What he couldn’t steal—samples, tools—he bought. By that time, he had a maintenance job and a small income. He reduced the filtration and air quality levels in his living module to the bare minimum, ate once every two days, and supplemented his lack of nutrition with free syrup from the company coffee machine. Synthetic coffee was given to employees in almost unlimited quantities (four cups per shift), so he lived on it. And it was worth it. One day, he managed to buy a tiny container of strange synthetics. It was love at first touch—a connection to other worlds, endless possibilities.

He dove headfirst into them, surviving on little sleep. Systems analysis and work by day, reading scientific journals and writing his own papers by night.

He made contacts with other scientists. This left him with even less money for food. Sending data bundles through the wormhole, receiving bundles from the far ends of the galaxy—it all cost. He wouldn’t have lasted long if his new friends hadn’t picked up some of his regular expenses. They paid for his one-year subscription to send and receive data bundles and sent him invaluable equipment he could barely fit into his module. The miracle was becoming real. They even offered to buy him out from the company.

He spent several days dreaming that he’d be free to listen to magic in a spacious, real laboratory, without fear, discussing his discoveries with colleagues, changing things, creating, exploring. But it didn’t work out.

“Nothing,” his contact, Ratthi, said—a recent PhD who lit up the world with constant optimism. “Wait a few days, we’ve got a backup plan.”

In a few days, G53U was set to undergo the last augmentation stage. That would raise his value to sky-high levels, shutting off any chance of escape. He’d be the company’s systems analyst forever.

“Sure,” he told Ratthi. “Let’s try the backup plan. No rush.”

After the surgery, he didn’t realize what was happening at first. The world was silent, its voice replaced by the hum of the feed. G53U froze, then calmed down, figuring it was a post-op effect. But the silence didn’t go away after a day or two. The words of the world no longer formed into magical incantations. He clutched the tiny container of strange synthetics in his hand—and felt nothing.

The world was empty.

If there was still magic in it, G53U could no longer hear it.

They advised him to consume more sweets to help his brain adapt to the new conditions. He dutifully drank syrup with a bit of coffee added. It didn’t help.

When his friends managed to buy his contract for a week, sending him to Preservation as part of the backup plan, he still hoped the magic would return. Sometimes, when he drank his oversyruped synthetic coffee, he thought he could still hear the song of the world—right on the tip of his tongue.

[nekole-doodles]

Part #4 of Nekole's DSMP-coded songs! Haven't done one in like- 2 weeks

C! Wilbur, especially post-finale/Utah ending

"Does somebody jump for joy" How he thought others would react to him leaving

"Does somebody cry?" How C! Tommy reacted to him leaving

"Does somebody want me now? Now that I can't fly, Now that I'm not part of the madness" After leaving to go to Utah, Wilbur wonders if anyone misses him now that he's not a part of the Dream SMP anymore. A kind of "you only miss it when it's gone" kind of thing. Now that Wilbur isn't a present threat in everyone's mind, people don't have to always worry about what he'll do and now there is room in their thoughts to think about Wilbur without the automatic worry over what his presence brings. It makes way for people to really reflect on how they felt about him and maybe even miss him.

"Laughter and screams seem to echo faintly, I can still hear them around" Wilbur reminiscing on the old days of the DSMP when things felt simpler. He misses those days sometimes, misses when his friends were happier and didn't always glare at him with automatic suspicion.

"Somewhere the roller coaster climbs and dives, While I've got my feet on the ground" Quite a few things happened after Wilbur left and he was never aware of what happened after he left, he just had a feeling that big things were still happening without him there to witness it. He doesn't know if he likes that thought or not.

"Aren't I so much better now that I'm just a normal guy? Now that I'm not... Part of the madness" Wilbur left DSMP so he can let other people heal without him since it seems that all he can do it hurt people. He also thought that maybe if he got away from the place where he was "corrupted," he could also slowly become a better person.