#drunk buck is so precious to me and eddie

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

fuck it friday

tagged by @watchyourbuck @butchdiaz @weewootruck @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @hippolotamus @shitouttabuck @rewritetheending @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @transboybuckley @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @devirnis @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990

thank you darlings, ily <3

here's some of drunk confession fic for nina bc it's my favorite thing right now and they deserve it since it's taking me so long

His heart and stomach flutter, catapulting themselves up and down his body, when Eddie groans, his eyebrows scrunching together and the fullness of his lips returned. “What are you doing now?” Eddie asks, suddenly looking so young and scared, his hand covering Buck’s and trapping it against his chest.

It’s nice how parts of themselves always find their way to each other, like magnets have been buried in their blood, insistently tugging them toward one another.

“Mmm, wanted t’ feel y’re laugh,” Buck mumbles, feeling tongue-tied and inexplicably shy.

And oh how Eddie smiles at that.

That smile is a comet shooting across the sky and Buck wants nothing more than to catch it and hold it close and keep it and let it burn him alive for the rest of his days.

The bareness of it and the way it seems so unrestrained and full of something he might dare to call twin to the love that bursts loud and soft and bright like a sunrise in his chest, makes Buck frown thoughtfully.

It’s not something he’s ever really seen from Eddie, not directed toward him, at least not in such full force.

Eddie notices the change in him, a change that not even Buck is fully aware of or understands, and he aches with the familiar realization of how well Eddie knows him.

tagging @spaceprincessem @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @bigfootsmom @anxieteandbiscuits @jeeyuns @diazass @911onabc @diazblunt @paranoidbean @bucks118 @lover-of-mine @forthewolves @eddiediaztho @hoodie-buck @eowon @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @giddyupbuck @captain-hen @athenagranted @lemonzestywrites @messyhairdiaz @fiona-fififi @bekkachaos @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @buddierights and anyone else who wants to share!

[camryntheking]

Season 5 reaction

5x01 and Buck and Eddie are already acting like a married couple lmao. But i can understand where the panic attack Eddie had came from. Buck is now just like a concerned husband

5x02 and Clipboard Buck! I love Clipboard Buck! And naturally the way to Buck’s heart is through the kids in his life. He is so precious. And he immediately picked up on Eddie’s panic when Ravi assumed Ana was Eddie’s wife. And then in the firetruck when Buck is talking about the zoo we learn that Buck takes Chris there all the time. Buck is Chris’ dad, and no one can tell me otherwise lol. And Eddie looks so proud. And Bobby is such a dad. Love him. And him and Athena are so cute together

Also, Eddie breaking up with Ana? That scene was also done well. And Eddie acknowledged that he was stringing her along, which is great. Terrible that he did it, but great that he admitted to it

And i just wanna point out that Kenny is such an amazing actor. The emotion he conveys during this whole arc of Maddie leaving is just… whew. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Also, i should have known that Buck knew. I do get Chim’s frustration. The punch shocked me ngl. But, i can see why he did it. I dont think punching was the answer, but like i said. I see why it happened. And naturally Eddie is the one he calls for help the next day. They are husbands your honor

5x05. I LOVE RAVI. “Probie, if you’re gonna vomit do it somewhere else.” “Copy!” *Scurries off.* I love him lmao

And Buck’s panic in 5x06 when he hears the gun shot. He immediately feared that Eddie had been shot again and ran out as fast as he could. And Bobby getting breakfast with Ravi 😭. I love Dad Bobby moments. And speaking of dads, Eddie and Chris 🥹. He loves his kid so much and my heart cant handle it

And Michael wanting to propose to David in 5x08!! The whole montage of the rings and outfits is so funny and i love them so much. And im so happy David said yes!!

The scene in 5x09 where May walks into Bobby and Athena is also fucking hilarious. And Bobby’s little shuffle to the bedroom is just so quirky. And then when he goes “why does this keep happening to you?” Then interrupts Buck and says “No. I’m gonna tell you why.” Bobby is Buck’s dad and i love him so much for it

And later Buck called Eddie out for watching telenovelas and it was so domestic. And Eddie was eating up the drama between Clive and Toni. He just loves it lol. And the episode made me dislike Taylor less. But i really feel like Buck said The Words just cos she did. I dont feel like they were genuine. That might just be me tho

Then in 5x10, Eddie is decorating with Chris and he is just doing as Chris says cos he wants him to be happy and im just melting. This man loves his kid so much and it just makes me so happy. Then Hen’s “baby’s first Christmas” comment to Buck made me chuckle, then I got distracted by the Appa plushie that someone handed Bobby. I love my flying bison sm. And Taylor asked Bobby if Buck would like the sweaters! Everyone knows that Bobby is Buck’s dad! And later Eddie is talking to Buck about Chris’ nightmare. Husbands. They both love their kid so much

Eddie looks so miserable at the beginning of 5x11 ☹️. Baby boy just wants to be fighting fires with his boyfriend. But dinner with Eddie, Chris, Buck, and Taylor kinda surprised me honestly. But ig it makes sense. “You dont need to pretend with me.” Ok. Imma cry now. Thats so sweet wtf. But he misses the 118 and feels left out and i feel for him. Also, drunk Buck is so funny lmao. And Hen is like another sister.

I can understand that Eddie is frustrated that Bobby isn’t letting him back into the 118 yet, but bringing up Bobby’s past like that was totally uncalled for

Im glad that Buck finally told Taylor about the kiss in 5x13, but i didnt even think about how he was kinda trapping her so she couldnt leave, which is. Not great. But i guess they are wanting to work through it so thats good. But the ending with Eddie’s breakdown made me wanna cry. He is going through so much and he wants to get better but he keeps hitting rough patches. But having Buck there to support him and Chris is so sweet and i love that Buck is willing to have those hard convos with Eddie.

And the breakfast scene in 5x14 with Chris and Eddie? These two have a special place in my heart and i cannot handle it lmao. And of course i type that only for it to be a nightmare 😭. But father figure Bobby also has my heart. And the scene with the heart drawings. So domestic

And Karen in 5x15 is so cute. “To catch a thief!” I love her lmao. And Eddie is learning from therapy! Im so proud of him! And Buck was giving total puppy energy during the wedding call. I love him so much.

And in 5x16 Bobby called May his kid!! Excuse me while i cry. And the Eddie/Linda friendship is just so, idk, refreshing? Idk if that is a good word for it but i really like the idea of him being friends with everyone at dispatch. My boy needs to get out there lol. Josh is also such a flustered homosexual and like. Me too. And Eddie was so ready to be back in firefighter mode. Buck being completely clueless about what to not say to a patient then Eddie just. Shaking his head. And May calls Bobby her dad 😭😭😭

5x17: Buck messing with Chris’ dinosaur while Eddie is packing, man there is just something so domestic about it. And the Chim and Hen friendship is so funny i love it so much. And i just really dislike Taylor. Also i know that we call Buck the golden retriever, but Eddie looked like such a kicked puppy when we was talking to his dad. But im glad they had a conversation and they want to do better

5x18: Im glad to see Eddie acknowledging how bottling things up isnt good, even if its in his joking manner. “I dont have your bone structure. I could never pull it off.” Bro im DEAD. Thats so funny to me. And my boy Ravi. Talking about having a partner is about knowing that they will have your back. Buck, takes notes. Cos who’s back did you promise to have? Hmm?? Then Buck talks about partners being at their lowest together and still working together and growing together. If that isnt foreshadowing idk what is. And Eddie is back at the 118!! Obviously i knew it was gonna happen but im still happy

And thats that for season 5! I dont really have any other additional thoughts, just that with things that happened in season 7, it just feels like there was some foreshadowing for Buddie. But i think we all know that

As always, feel free to discuss!

[infinite-orangepeel]

✨STEDDIE FICLET: BOYS WILL BE BOYS

!! masturbation, general horny energy/vibe (lol), discovering sexuality !!

steve and eddie arguing over who has the bigger dick. they’re just friends. they’ve never seen each other naked.

steve and eddie getting out the ruler to compare dick sizes.

it’s a game. it’s something to play. it’s something to pass the time.

boys will be boys.

steve and eddie, joking around, fumbling to get their pants around their thighs, excited by the competitive air between them. quipping. ruffling each others feathers. making light in the dead of winter.

steve and eddie falling silent.

steve’s breath hitching.

eddie’s eyes widening.

flushed red of arousal rushing to their cheeks as everything becomes a bit too real.

steve gulping.

eddie watching the pitiful up and down movement of his adam’s apple. bobbing beautifully under all those pretty moles on his decadent throat.

eddie hardening. stiffening up rapidly because steve’s standing there—so close—squirming around and whimpering like a slut.

“it happens,” steve says as if it really does, “ ‘s nothing to be ashamed of. c’mon. i’ll measure you, if you measure me.”

eddie nodding, barking a laugh, choking on something heavy.

tonguing the sharp edge of his teeth to counteract and distract from the thrumming pleasure—the threat his hips pose to buck up into the warm grasp of steve’s hand circling around his leaking tip.

steve and eddie lining up their cocks, because it’s ‘easier to tell.’

numbers are too difficult.

numbers are useless.

why use numbers when they have four hands between them to compare and stroke over their lengths?

gentle fingers to dip down and cup each others balls like something precious to behold. tickling. smiling.

careful not to make eye contact. careful not to make it real.

steve and eddie groaning like untamed beasts when they press their aching dicks together. skin to skin.

wet. slippery. burning up with forbidden fever. the urge to close every existing gap is palpable.

so easy to break.

so easy to shatter.

“guess we’re about the same size. funny. who would’ve thought?”

eddie plays the fool. plays the whole thing off as a joke. tears his eyes away but doesn’t miss the opportunity to rub a flat palm over both of their cockheads before retreating like the coward he believes himself to be.

bashful. ashamed. terrified of the truth. terrified of the monster he is. vicious and destructive in all matters of the self.

speeding car on a dead end path.

“g-guess so. yeah. funny.”

steve’s voice is distant, murky, undone, and empty. brows furrowed. lips bitten.

he’s beautiful and strange. colored all shades of pink. hairy thighs. soft heart. golden boy.

steve and eddie zipping themselves back into their jeans. making separate excuses about this and that.

“gotta get going—”

“me too—”

“band practice—”

“dinner with robin—”

“see ya later—”

“yeah—”

steve and eddie touching themselves, alone in their rooms—later that night.

moon high. beds cold. moans hidden behind clenched fists.

steve humping his pillow.

faster, harder than he’s done in a long time. eddie’s rings and silver tongue on his mind. he’s drunk on it. dizzy and loose.

eddie fucking himself open with a toy. legs spread wide. tongue between teeth. hand on his stomach to feel the bulge where he dreams steve’s pretty cock might some day be, if he’s lucky.

steve and eddie cumming at the same time, across town, and reaching for the phone at the exact same instant.

“i need you—”

“i miss you—”

“come over—”

“i’m already on my way.”

taglist (message me to be added or removed at any time <3): @estrellami-1 @disastardly @ilovecupcakesandtea @the-redthread @asbealthgn @bestofbucky @vampireinthesun @carlyv @shrimply-a-menace @lordrrascal @jjoesjonas @malachitedevil @anxiouseds @gay-little-bitch @jhrc666 @pinkdaisies1998 @mcneen @perseus-notjackson @eiddets @corroded-coffin-groupie @three-possums-playing-human @stevesbipanic @plutoshelm @arkenstoned @indiearr @they-reap-what-we-sow @gleek4twd @bunnyweasley23 @livingoutload @a-little-unsteddie @novelnovella @rugbertgoeshome @neverlandwaitingforme @anglhrts @swiss-cheeze

[bidisasterevankinard]

“So, this is what you do when I’m not around?”

Or

“Is this… turning you on?”

If it inspires ♥️

I combined it and here have this hot thing love <3333 NSFW-ish. I think about continue to make it E rating and post whole thing on ao3 then, so let me know if you want more

prompts

In Buck's defense, it wasn't his idea to buy panties, but Chim's. Years and years ago, during Buck's probie year. They were drunk and Chim dared him to do it. Buck did. Then came home, put them between boxers he didn't wear much and forgot about them. He couldn't throw them away because they're expensive and pretty panties. And that's how these panties lived the last six years. They were moved in that exact stack of clothes, which Buck didn't want to sort when he moved to the loft. He just put it on the top shelf and forgot about it.Right till that moment.

He is alone in the loft, sorting his things between boxes to decide what he will move to the Diaz house. And what he will throw away or donate, because it's finally time to get rid of the clothes he would never wear again.

That's how he found these lace black panties. And if the boxers should go to trash because his size is bigger now, the panties on other hand look like they can fit him.

Buck in his life tried a lot of things, even crazier than wearing some panties. Just last night Eddie tied him up to their bed and made sure that it is hard for Buck to move today, especially bend, without remembering how good his fiance railed him. Trying some panties shouldn't feel so exciting and thrilling, and a little bit forbidden, like something he shouldn't desire. Except that Buck feels all this mix of different emotions like that and he wants to sense the lace around him.

He slips out of his sweatpants and boxers, but leaves the shirt. It is like a shield from feeling like he does something wrong. The lace fits him like a second skin, highlighting his cock and how pale he is. But that makes Buck feel good about them, it's how he looks like something precious and cute. Not like a 6 '2 guy, but like something that needs to be handled very gently, like a porcelain vase that is so easy to break with a careless movement. Buck feels good. He feels pretty.

Admiring himself from different angles in the big mirror, still not daring to leave himself only in black lace, he doesn't hear how he is not alone anymore.

“So, this is what you do when I’m not around?” Eddie's voice scares Buck and he rushes to cover himself, tugging on his shirt hard.

“I saw you naked, mi amor. No need to cover this ass or cock from me,” Eddie licks his lips not taking his eyes from his bottom. Even if Buck tries hard to hide himself, he still knows Eddie can see quite enough. “Especially when they are wrapped in such a beautiful package. Like a beautiful present.” 

Buck doesn’t know what to say. He opens and closes his mouth for seconds till his eyes catch the lines of Eddie’s cock in his sweatpants. Catching the way where Buck looks, Eddie puts his hand pulling on his pants so that the line of his half hard cock is seen better. 

“Is this … turning you on?” 

His fiance comes close, putting his big warm hands on his t-shirt, lifting it up till he can take it off from his body, stopping to ask Buck with his big caring eyes if it is OK, not moving till he sees the nod. Eddie leaves him almost naked in his almost empty loft. 

“How can it not? My future husband looks like a fucking model, meeting me in these cute lace,” big hands holds him by the waist, bringing Buck close to his body. Their cocks touch and they both moan. “You look so beautiful Buck,” Eddie murmurs and kisses his neck. “Do you like the way you look? Or should I leave to let you put your clothes on?” warm chocolate meets his sky and Buck one more time falls even more in love with this perfect caring man.

“I think I look pretty. I-I feel good. Really good,” Buck whispers, still feeling guilty to admit how he loves it, even if he knows Eddie loves it too. 

“Do you want me to make it better?” Eddie traces his long soft fingers over the lace till he touches his hard cock, smirking when he feels a wet spot. 

“Yes, please,” Buck gasps as Eddie speeds up his movements, passing the lace over his tender skin. “But we-we moved the bed already,” despite his words Buck just let Eddie leave more hickeys on his skin.

“You still have a kitchen counter. I haven't bent you near it for months,” Eddie kisses him, biting his lip. “What do you think, cowboy?”

Buck smirks remembering why Eddie calls him cowboy. Sue him for telling his “just best friend” he always liked to ride a man anytime he had a chance. He wanted to drive Eddie crazy with this idea. He succeeded even if they still had a crooked path after Buck's confession. Eddie their first time admitted that he called him cowboy several times to hint he wants Buck to ride him. 

He licks his lips, acting like he thinks about it, taking the clothes from the body he needs to see naked. The way Eddie looks at him when he kneels to take his sweats off intoxicates him as well as the musky scent. 

Touching beautiful abs, Buck kisses his man again before breathing into his lips.

“Yeah, not a bad idea, but what about me riding you on the balcony? These panties allowed it,” Buck puts Eddie’s hand on his bare ass. “And I found my cowboy hat,” Buck nods towards the hat. “Should I wear it or -”

Buck’s question is interrupted by Eddie’s lips and the body pining him to the wall. Grinding their cocks, they kiss till Buck is ready to hit Eddie’s hip to have a chance to breathe, but Eddie ends the kiss right at that moment, leaving Buck alone near the wall. He takes the hat and comes back, putting the hat on Buck’s head.

“ Are you ready for the ride, cowboy?”

[shammers86]

There so much I haven’t fully processed yet about tonight’s episode. First off, Ryan has taken control of the Buddie ship and I’m here for it. Letting him out of PR jail was one of the best things that ABC has done.

One thing I thought about are Buck and Eddie’s (and Christopher’s) safe places. We knew from last season that Buck’s safe place is Eddie’s house. He went there to escape everyone coming over. Well tonight, it was shown that Buck is indeed Eddie’s safe space. He was gone for 12 hours presumably with Buck at his loft. He ran from Marisol and went straight to Buck. And Christopher’s safe space is of course Buck.

The entire Marisol bit had me screaming because it actually made a lot of fanon canon. Like the Catholicism, the fact Shannon got pregnant and they were pressured into marrying. That Eddie is trying to fill the mother void in Chris’ life. And even though Marisol moved in, Eddie legit went “On second thought, no.” Yeah she is gone soon. The nun thing was just the frosting on top of this fruit cake. But also this was indeed tremendous growth for Eddie but he still has a shit load to work out before he and Buck even think about getting together

Buck is such a disaster bi it’s not even funny. Even if he didn’t put a label to his sexuality, bi probably fits. His coming out scene with Maddie (ally Buck really?) was equally funny and heartwarming. She was indeed the supportive siblings (like I have been for mine). Absolute perfection.

The Eddie and Buck loft scene. The soft tones, Buck’s blue sweater. Eddie trying to ignore his phone. The fact that Maddie and Eddie are the two people he wanted to come out to most is indeed telling. My honest opinion? He wanted Eddie to know first but he just couldn’t get it out. Anyways, the way Buck held him breath. Eddie processed the news and never broke eye contact with Buck. As Ryan said, there is no competition for Buck. He loves him either way.

I like Tommy. I love the high school crush Buck has with Tommy and I do like he was willing to give our precious golden retriever another chance. It’s cute and I think it will help Buck really dig deep and realize who Eddie is to him.

The HenRen storyline. It was unexpected and heart warming. They are giving that poor little girl a chance at being loved again and I’m here for it. I also love how grown up Denny is and how much he wants a siblings.

Lastly, the bachelor party is gonna be epic. It’s full of Buddie promo, Maddie finding Chimney and somehow I think Buck and Eddie got drunk married.

With that, I’m going to sleep.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

A comprehensive list of my completed 9-1-1 fics

This thread was getting too long and confusing regarding the series, so here is a Google doc with all my fics, separated by vibe:

Pennsylvania Under Me (22,391 words)

Summary:

When unexpected circumstances require Buck to travel back to Hershey for the first time in over a decade, Eddie and Chris are right by his side.

a mouth full of teeth and nothing to sing (7,060 words)

Summary:

Post 07x03, Hen struggles to process the cruise ship rescue and drunk driver call in the midst of ongoing tension with her friends.

Loose Threads (3,745 words)

Summary:

New to dating and keeping it quiet, Buck and Eddie get a little carried away on a slower shift at the firehouse. But when the alarm eventually sounds, a spur of the moment mistake leaves them a little mixed up.

Precious and Fragile Things (46,918 words)

Summary:

Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped. AKA the Small Miracles by Olivia Atwater AU that you don’t need to have read Small Miracles to enjoy.

Spinning Out (2,326 words)

Summary:

The sun always rises in the east and sets in the west. What goes up must always come down. And if Eddie Diaz is in a helicopter with his team, it must fall from the sky. AKA: Speculation into Eddie's reaction to flying on a chopper with his team into a storm, as per the trailer dropped on February 17th.

Winter Prayer (18,229 words)

Summary:

When a work conflict prevents Athena from accompanying Bobby to Minnesota for the ten year anniversary of his family dying, Buck and May offer to go instead. Over the course of the trip, they all learn more about each other, and Bobby faces his grief.

still sitting in a corner i haunt (7,413 words)

Summary:

Unable to imagine a scenario where acting on his feelings for Buck doesn’t end up with everybody hurt, Eddie rejects Buck. Before he can finish the conversation, Eddie is ripped from his time and hurtled into several, seemingly random moments from the future that help clarify his decision.

Why Not Take All of Me? (13,235 words)

Summary:

When a small disaster strikes the morning of Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Buck, Hen, and Chim find themselves unwittingly caught up in an emergency across town, while Maddie and Eddie get stuck in an elevator.

Both Blade and Branch (62,835 words)

Summary:

The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

and here, too, am i (41,117 words)

Summary:

Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

Got Weird (10,541 words)

Summary:

Shortly after Buck and Natalia break up, Eddie gets tipsy and makes a rather forward move. Then immediately panics (not that Eddie panics, of course) and backpedals. Eddie spirals, Buck is confused. Lots of spontaneous kissing ensues.

Homefield Disadvantage (2,165 words)

Summary:

Buck is recovering from appendicitis. Christopher has an important school project. Eddie faces danger on the job. They are a family, your honor. That is all.

Don't They Know It's The End of the World? (32,439 words)

Summary:

After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back. OR: The Fallout 4 AU that you don't need to have played Fallout to enjoy!

Appetency (4,685 words)

Summary:

When Buck learns Eddie has suddenly developed a sweet tooth, he falls down a bit of a research spiral about the cause behind unusual sugar cravings, and tries to help Eddie with this perceived problem. Eddie’s ‘problem’ isn’t exactly what Buck has in mind.

Nothing Left But You (27,297 words)

Summary:

In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Four Can Keep a Secret (20,140 words)

Summary:

When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

Claim Your Ghost (32,824 words)

Summary:

After a near death experience on a call, Eddie starts having strange hallucinations of people who have died. There’s definitely no way he’s seeing ghosts, right? Because Eddie doesn’t believe in ghosts…

Me and Lazarus (17,041 words)

Summary:

As Buck lays comatose after being struck by lightning, Maddie reflects on the life of the first brother she lost, how that impacted her life, and the ways grief has shaped them both.

Muscle Memory (40,051 words)

Summary:

After a disappointment in his personal life, Buck wakes up one morning to find everyone he loves has forgotten him completely. No memories. No recognition. Almost like he was never really there.

endless numbered days (13,164 words)

Summary:

When a big event in the lives of the members of the 118 falls on the same weekend as Bobby's late son's birthday, Bobby finds himself reflecting on grief, fatherhood, and life after loss. OR Lots of Bobby angst and fluff and dad vibes.

Being Eddie (79,829)

Summary:

When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica

Batting a Buck & Change (15,557)

Summary:

Eddie and Chim embark on a “Dad’s night out” to watch baseball at a sports bar, and after a few too many, Eddie accidentally lets his feelings for Buck slip.

august (40,182 words)

Summary:

Buck and Natalia's new relationship has been built over a shared history with death, but is that foundation enough? Eddie and Marisol have a lot in common, including a fear of facing the truth about themselves. When Buck invites everyone to a vacation rental by the sea, secrets, feelings, and truths kept hidden are brought into the light. OR Buck, Eddie, Natalia, and Marisol go on a beach vacation in August of 2023. It gets angsty and gay.

Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness (57,965 words)

Summary:

After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime. Inspired by a mix of Marvel multiverses and The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

Fuck Up the Friendship (1,573 words)

Summary:

Eddie and Buck respond to a call where one best friend confesses their love to another - leading to a pretty awkward argument between them, and maybe more?

[elgascreamslikehell]

Last sentence tag game

Tagged by precious @aspecbuddie in a very dark moment cause I'm in the middle of angsty part so... Thanks!))

A little more than one sentence though

‘He is not just a guy! He loves me!’, - Eddie freezes but Buck is too drunk and too mad to stop himself: ‘I thought you love me, I thought you're my best friend but it looks like you aren't anymore!’ It feels… strange. Like someone hits Eddie with a dusty bag ‘Evan…’ Buck ends the call leaving Eddie alone in a very nasty silence.

So no pressure tagging (but guys I'm always interested in everything you want to share!)

@steadfastsaturnsrings @princehattric @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @pirrusstuff

[extasiswings]

slow dancing on landmines

Buck Breakdown Era is about to come for my entire life, I can already tell.  Anyway...Spec for the midseason finale/Warning Signs. And you can all thank @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels for not letting me end it where I was going to end it.

There’s a dream that Buck keeps having.  He’s been having it ever since the night Chim was kidnapped by a drunk driver, the night he was almost hit by a car and he swore that his heart stopped for a full beat before starting again, the night Eddie showed up at his door and pressed love into his mouth with a kiss so delicate that Buck felt as precious as crystal. 

In the dream, there isn’t any sound. But he wakes up in Eddie’s bed, warm and soft and held. He wakes up in Eddie’s bed, the room dappled in golden morning light, and Eddie smiles and lifts a hand to card gentle fingers through Buck’s hair, strokes the backs of them down Buck’s cheek. His lips move, but Buck can’t hear him. It doesn’t matter though, because Eddie pulls him tight against his chest after that. Lips graze the edge of his hairline…and the scene shifts. 

He’s on the pier with Christopher, but Christopher is big enough that he doesn’t need Buck to hold onto the back of his shirt as he looks over the railing anymore. There’s a nearly empty stick of cotton candy dangling from Christopher’s fingers, a thread of sticky sugar caught at the edge of the boy’s mouth. Buck feels his own mouth move—don’t tell your dad—and Christopher laughs. 

He’s on the pier, on the pier with Christopher, but there’s no tightness in his chest, no roiling nausea in his gut. The waves are no bigger than they should be, and the sun shines down on them from a cloudless sky. Then, an arm wraps around his waist from behind as the hand of another ruffles Christopher’s hair before settling on his shoulder. 

Eddie. 

Eddie’s eyes narrow at something on Buck’s face, then his lips twitch in amusement and his hand falls away from Christopher to pull out a tube from his pocket. Buck still can’t hear a thing, but the look on Eddie’s face is so fond, so light and teasing and open, that Buck’s heart skips as Eddie reaches up to smear sunscreen down the bridge of Buck’s nose. 

The scene shifts again, and they’re in Eddie’s kitchen, Buck pulling a lasagna out of the oven and setting it to cool, gently smacking Eddie’s hand away when he goes for the corner of the pan with a fork. Eddie’s smile turns wicked then, and he backs Buck against the sink and kisses him until Buck’s knees are weak and the lasagna is cool enough to eat. 

He goes through a whole day in the dream, snippets of scenes that slide away before he can get a solid grip on them. Flickers and flashes of a silent movie playing over and over. Home. Love. Family. A life, a life, a life. 

In the dream, he has everything. In the dream, he’s not afraid. In the dream, he is whole. 

But…then he wakes up. And when Buck stares at the ceiling, it’s not Eddie’s but his own. There are no arms around him, there’s no warm body next to him in bed. The sheets are cool. 

Buck wakes up and remembers that Christopher had barely spoken to him or Eddie for the better part of a day after it had only been suggested that they might want to date. He wakes up and remembers that yes, Eddie loves him, but also remembers all the reasons why Eddie shouldn’t. All the reasons why Buck hasn’t said yes to him. 

Buck wakes up…and he is afraid. So terrified that he doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to breathe, doesn’t want to think. His heart is in his throat and he is choking on it. 

He wakes up in pieces. A collection of parts that are rusted and creaky, slowly breaking down. Parts…defective parts. 

They must be. He must be. Because he should be able to be happy, shouldn’t he? He should be able to figure out his life? Everyone else seems to have managed it. So that must be it—there must be something in him that’s broken. Maybe it always was. 

Defective. 

He can’t breathe. 

Sometimes, Buck wonders if he’s a ghost. If he really was the one who got shot when Eddie did. Maybe he’s actually in a coma somewhere and that’s why he feels like he’s drifting aimlessly, not even inhabiting his body. Maybe that’s why he’s so cold. 

Maybe that’s why he can’t tell Eddie that he loves him too. 

And yet…he dreams.

[Read the rest on ao3]

[littlespoonevan]

So with all the theorizing about Buck getting hurt on the bike in this ep and your thought of an amnesia plot stemming from that started me thinking about him coming out of amnesia if he had to have a surgery from it, or while he has a concussion from it, or being on pain meds for injuries from it, and then thinking about the Friends prompts from a while back…

It got me thinking about that Friends ep where Ross hurts his back while they’re all at his grandmother’s funeral, and then he gets high off the pain meds from his mom, so he starts telling everyone he loves them but then telling Rachel he loves her most of all, and she says she loves him most of all too, just writing it off, and then he says NO YOU DON’T GET IT (and then passes out in her lap lol).

Like imagine that with Buck high on the pain meds from getting hurt on the bike and having that interaction with Eddie!!!

oh!!!!! an almost confession like that would be so cute :(((( especially if buck was acting the way drunk!buck was in 6x04! and eddie being so patient and gentle with him the whole time too and just trying to make sure he's okay!!!!!!!!!!!! that's precious 💖💖

[oatflatwhite]

Idk how to use tumblr. Literally only made it to follow 911 stuff. What has this show done to me??? If you’re taking prompts, I just read all of your works on AO3 and hot damn!!!

“Have you ever thought about us? Together?” I would love to read a conversation between Buck and Eddie where Eddie initiates the convo with that question and they just talk really honestly and openly about the fact that they have thought about being together but never know how it would look or what to do about it or where to go from there. Like I sort of want a convo where they are both on the fence. They know they love each other but they can’t determine on their own if they’re in love with each other and so they really dive into talking openly about it and what they think it would look like if they got were together. Would never say no to them talking about the physical aspects of a relationship too. Hope this one interests you!!

I swear somewhere this works. In a parallel universe or another world or a different life, we sit across from each other at the kitchen table and go over the grocery list.

— Trista Mateer, The Dogs I Have Kissed

*

“Have you ever thought about us? Together?”

Eddie’s drunk. There’s no other reason to explain why he just said that—except, maybe, for the soft look of surprise that crosses Buck’s face, like he’s been handed something precious he’s not sure he’s allowed to touch.

“What do you…” He trails off, shakes his head. Sets his beer down by the sink and looks somewhere in the vicinity of Eddie’s shoes. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, Buck.” Eddie puts down his own beer. Crosses then uncrosses his arms; lets them grip the counter behind him, loosely, like it might break. “You know what I mean.”

Buck’s eyes flicker to the half-open kitchen door. It’s late, past ten, and Christopher is sleeping down the hall. Buck had put him to bed. They’re reading Narnia together and started Prince Caspian last night—when Buck reads as Susan, he pitches his voice a high, almost-whisper, and it’s as awful as it is sincere. Eddie stood in the doorway and listened as Trumpkin told the Pevensies of Caspian and Doctor Cornelius.

“There was a great deal more talk,” Buck said seriously, “but it all ended with the agreement that Caspian should stay … for apparently in these wild parts all sorts of creatures—” here he ran his fingers like a spider over Christopher’s hands as they clutched his quilt, “—still lived on in hiding.”

“Alright,” Eddie interrupted from his place at the door before Buck could get started on the next chapter. “We’ll come back to Caspian tomorrow, okay?”

“But Dad—”

“It’s a school night.” Eddie was firm. “And between you and me,” he leaned close, a stage-whisper, “Buck’s had a long day too.”

Christopher had nodded, stone-faced and stoic, and patted at Buck’s hand still holding the page open. “Go to bed, Buck. We can read more tomorrow.”

“Well if you insist,” Buck had grinned, and the expression made the lines of his nose wrinkle and his eyebrows squish down around his birthmark and Eddie—Eddie wanted to kiss it. This was not a new feeling.

Unlike this conversation.

keep reading on ao3

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

Balm of the night?

also asked by @devirnis <3

balm of night is a fill for the drunk confession prompt "You're cute. And a bit blurry. But definitely always so cute."

basically buck is taking eddie to one of his favorite secluded spots outside of the city, a place he's never shared with anyone. it's a very late night they have alone together so buck decides it's perfect timing and they sit in the back of eddie's truck up in the mountains and drink beer and watch the stars they can't fully see and it's the perfect setting for a vomit of feelings

here's a snip:

Maybe it’s a piece of the very first version of himself, a part of his reckless youth that he can’t quite shake because it’s embedded too deeply in him, this urge to just get away, run for a little bit, not to abandon anything or anyone but just to carve out something for himself so he breathe away from the weight and expectations he typically carries around like a second skin.

Buck isn’t sure if there’s anything wrong with it, even though his first inclination these days is to try and over analyze everything he does in an attempt to find something to poke at and peel apart in the hopes that it reveals something major, something he can understand, something that upholds his belief that he can’t do much of anything right for himself while also proving that he is utterly capable of handling things and more settled and mature than he’s ever been.

It’s a mess of contradictions and far too confusing, so when the urge to drive through the velvet of the night until light is blinking at him through the clouds and he winds up with his ass parked on a vacant sandy beach or fallen tree trunk near a cliff, Buck tries not to look into it too much.

Most of the time he doesn’t give in to it anyway, too busy or tired or wanting to hang out with Eddie and Chris more than he wants to disappear for a bit, and the few times he does allow himself this indulgence, he tries to simply enjoy it, because why not?

Buck loves when the sky looks like a fresh bruise and the air is crisp and thin and a soft, somewhat precious hush blankets him with enough settling force that even his constantly whirring mind slows down a little bit.

He loves when the city’s lights are far enough away that they look like warped stars that have fallen to earth, as if drawn to the warmth and magnetism of the place and people. He loves how a filmy haze covers everything, almost twinkling in its intensity as it settles over towering trees and haloed street lights and trickling rivers of people, sand, and concrete.

Everything feels infinite in a way that’s not terrifying or incomprehensible.

And Buck isn’t sure why it’s taken him years to share this with Eddie, except for how he is actually pretty damn sure of all the reasons, most of them having to do with vulnerability and the exposed, raw underbelly of his heart.

ask me about my wips

[kitkatpancakestack]

He never learns…

He’ll never learn that resistance is impossible. Never learn that he can’t not melt when those big, blue eyes settle on him. Never learn that, no matter what, he’s caught in a trap. The likes of which he can never escape.

Not that he wants to. Not really.

But there are some things he does learn.

He learns that that voice is his favourite thing to hear; he’d learnt that, that one time Buck had called him just before his alarm could, voice scratchy and choked; sniffling in a way that made it so obvious he was crying. It was ridiculous, because he was crying over some cute kitten he’d seen and watched too many videos of. Videos that had lead him to realise that precious kitten had died long before her time.

Eddie had learnt that morning that waking up to Buck’s voice was one of the best things in the world. He’d learnt that, no matter how small the matter may be, he’d never be able to belittle Buck.

So maybe he does learn; learn the way Buck’s eyes shine when Eddie laughs at one of his jokes. Or the way his eyes crinkle when Eddie compliments his cooking. Or the way he seems to age backwards when it’s just him and Eddie and Christopher, laughing and joking on that shabby old couch.

Or maybe it’s the way his body reacts- had reacted. That one night they’d been gotten home piss drunk, and Eddie’d woken to find Buck draped over him like a weighted blanket, the two of them half on the couch, half under the coffee table.

Eddie still blames the alcohol in his system for what he’d done, what he still thinks he probably dreamt. The way his fingers had traced gently over Buck’s relaxed features. The way his nails ran over his skin with a feather light touch. The way he’d thumbed at Buck‘s birthmark, lips itching to press themselves to the beautiful imperfection.

And- and the way Buck had shivered, fingers clawing into his chest as they fisted into his Henley; the way he’d seemed to burrow further into Eddie’s warmth. The way his parted lips had found themselves pressed to Eddie‘s neck, to his pulse point, to his lifeline.

The way Eddie himself had trembled, had maybe whimpered and closed his eyes, hoping to savour the touches, the closeness, the intimacy.

Or maybe it‘s the thought of Eddie‘s house becoming their home that teaches Eddie what he’s known all along. Long nights spent on the old couch that Buck has been egging him to replace for forever now.

Or the quiet nights they share; the nights when they manage to wrangle Christopher into bed early, and the two of them take solace on the broken down couch that has become a staple of their late night musings. A beer in each of their hands as they sit close enough for their shoulders to touch, to brush, to ignite a flame that Eddie keeps having to put out.

As much as he doesn’t want to.

Or perhaps, it’s the glances they share at work together, silent questions and affirmations of safety and surety that will eventually help Eddie learn.

Help Eddie learn that perhaps this spiderweb is actually a sanctuary, a haven that will make him spend forever thanking whatever being that might be up there. Thanking them for giving him this opportunity.

So maybe he hasn’t learnt, maybe he won’t. But maybe, maybe he’s quickly learning that he doesn’t need to.

That there’s absolutely no rhyme or reason to this crazy, untethered world he’s a part of.

But he has his own tether, tethers.

And maybe he’s hoping he’ll never lose them.

hiiiii.

sooo… it’s not much. probably doesn’t even make any sense. but it’s for you. as a thank you for well… pretty much existing. i hope you like it. i know im not very talented. but im gonna try anyway.

bye now,

-goldie.

⚜️

Um????? I'm sorry???????????

Why are you apologizing this was amazing and I'm now a puddle of ooey gooey feelings all over my floor.

In all realness, thank you so much, this is a precious gift I am honored to receive. I know putting your writing out into the world is like opening your chest and giving a piece of yourself away. Beautiful work, I hope you don't mind me posting this but I think my followers and moots would enjoy.

Next time link the ao3 page! I'm hooked!

[thisissirius]

Can I have Buck carrying Eddie with this prompt please? You can tell me all about how tired you aren’t while I carry you to bed.

fgdsjahgsf i fucking love this prompt SO MUCH

the whispers in the morningeddie/buck, light angst and fluff

Buck’s not sure what makes him wake up, but he knows what keeps him awake; the slam of his door and the curses currently erupting from downstairs.

The voice is Eddie’s, and Buck’s not expecting the way he looks. He’s wearing a shirt and pants, dirty and gross and Buck frowns. “Did you come straight from work?”

“Buck?” Eddie asks, jerking up from the island he’s currently plastered against. 

Buck thinks he’s drunk, but he can see the trembles wracking Eddie’s frame, the dark smudges beneath his eyes. He knows Eddie’s been on a long shift, the days before jampacked with trips and Christopher and work, work, work. He’s gotta be exhausted.

“Hey Eddie,” Buck says. 

Eddie stumbles a little as he straightens up, taking a few steps towards Buck and then pausing. “You okay?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Buck doesn’t want to sound so amused, but he can’t help himself. “You wanna get some sleep?”

“M’not tired,” Eddie says, slumping against Buck. His face mashes against the curve of Buck’s jaw and it’s gross. Buck rolls his eyes but doesn’t try to shove Eddie away. 

He likes it.

Something’s settled between them since Christmas, easing back into their friendship like all the shit since the truck bombing is nothing. Buck knows that’s mostly wishful thinking. Nightmares about the tsunami, awkwardness with Bobby, and the aches in his leg when it’s cold are all huge obstacles. It’s easy to forget about it all when Eddie’s around, though. When he’s got Christopher tucked up on the couch and they’re all safe. 

“You can tell me about how tired you aren’t,” Buck says, hauling Eddie up and getting a better grip on his waist, “while I carry you to bed.”

“Yours?” Eddie asks. When Buck looks, he’s got a little furrow between his brows, endearingly confused. 

Buck snorts gently, managing to get them both up the stairs without injury. “You are at my apartment, Eddie.”

Eddie blinks at him, at the bed, and then back over his shoulder. “I am?”

“You are.” Buck wants to laugh, but he can’t bring himself to. It’s not often Eddie will let himself be so vulnerable in front of Buck. He seems to have this need to be the strong one, to stand between those he loves and the world, and it breaks Buck’s heart that he won’t allow anyone to do that for him. Buck will always do it if given half the chance.  

For Eddie, there’s precious little he won’t do. 

“Come on, Eddie,” he says gently, guiding Eddie to the bathroom. He presses down on Eddie’s shoulders until he sits on the toilet, leaning heavily against Buck’s stomach. Buck gives in to the urge and runs a hand through Eddie’s hair, scratches lightly at his scalp. The soft noise Eddie lets out makes Buck’s heart skip. “You want a shower?”

“Wanna sleep,” Eddie slurs.

Buck smiles gently, his other hand slipping beneath the collar of Eddie’s shirt, running over the muscles of his back. Eddie’s wound tight, always so tense, and Buck wishes he could take some of the stress away. “Thought you weren’t tired.”

“M’now,” Eddie mumbles, hands coming up to Buck’s waist. His grip is tight despite his exhaustion. “You’re here.”

It’s honest in a way Buck doesn’t expect. He wants to say something, but his throat won’t work. He settles for running the tap, warming the water. “I’m just gonna clean you up, okay?”

Eddie pulls back, blinking with half-lidded eyes. “Buck?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, and he doesn’t mean to laugh, but Eddie looks - well, adorable. 

“Why am I in your apartment?”

Buck crouches in front of Eddie, suddenly concerned. “You here with me, Eddie?”

Eddie opens his mouth, stares around the bathroom, and then back at Buck. “I don’t remember driving here.”

Something in Buck’s chest breaks and he presses his hands to Eddie’s face, fingers brushing over his dirty cheekbones. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know where Eddie’s come from, or what he’s been doing. The streetfighting is over, that much Buck knows. There are other ways to relieve your stress, though. Other ways to hurt yourself without actively getting punched and Buck knows from experience their job can do that all too easily. “Eddie.”

“I lied,” Eddie says slowly. His eyes are dark, his hands moving to Buck’s arms, though Buck doesn’t know if he wants to push Buck away or pull him closer. He doesn’t think Eddie knows himself. “I’m so tired, Buck.”

“I know,” Buck whispers, and pulls Eddie forward until Eddie’s head is against his shoulder. Eddie lets out a soft noise, maybe a sob, and then clings to Buck’s back. “I’ve got you, Eddie, I promise.”

Eddie says nothing. He’s breathing hotly against Buck’s neck, wet and gross, but Buck holds on nonetheless. He keeps Eddie upright on the toilet seat and cradles the back of Eddie’s head like he’s precious.

And he is. 

“I was,” Eddie starts, and he sounds a little more awake. Buck doesn’t trust it, refuses to let him go. “I can’t stop getting things wrong.”

Buck pulls his head back. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought,” Eddie starts, refusing to meet Buck’s eyes. His fingers dig into Buck’s arms, leaning into Buck’s grip. “I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“This,” Eddie says, and he looks between them at the floor.

Buck wants to make a joke, the words the bathroom on his tongue, but he can’t do that, won’t let himself turn Eddie’s vulnerability into a joke. “Us?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes, and when he finally meets Buck’s eyes, they’re wet and shiny. Buck’s heart breaks all over again, but Eddie’s still talking, looking panicked. “I thought I knew who I was, what I wanted, but there’s you, Buck. You’re so - you love me and I’m scared of that because everyone leaves. I’m not,” Eddie sucks in a breath, tone wavering, “I’m not enough for anyone.”

Buck stands, taking Eddie with him. He wraps Eddie up in his arms and though Eddie shakes in his grip, he takes the comfort Buck’s providing. He slides his hands up Buck’s back, fisting them in Buck’s shirt. 

“I need you to listen to me,” Buck says, and Eddie makes an assenting noise into his shoulder. “Whatever put those thoughts in your head is valid, Eddie, I’m not saying it’s not. God knows I hate myself enough to understand that, but you’re enough for me.”

Eddie makes another noise, but Buck pulls back, forces Eddie to meet his eyes. 

“You’ve always been enough for me. Your friendship - I know we’ve had problems, but I’m so damned lucky you chose the 118. I’m lucky my ridiculous peacocking shit didn’t shove you away. You, Eddie Diaz, will always be enough for me.”

“Buck, you can’t-” Eddie starts. 

“No, Eddie.” Buck hardens his tone. “I promise that it’s never you. People have their own issues, man, their own hangups, but none of that is on you. You’re the best thing in my life bar Christopher.”

Eddie’s face does something complicated, his eyes bright. “I love you.”

Buck smiles gently because he’s not sure what to do with that. Eddie’s telling the truth - Buck knows what that looks like - but he doesn’t want Eddie to regret what he says when he’s dead on his feet. “I love you too.”

“I mean it,” Eddie says, but his eyes are slipping closed again. 

Taking pity on him, Buck walks them into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that he’s gonna have to wash the sheets and probably shower them both in the morning, but Eddie’s not gonna make it much longer. 

“Come on,” he says, gently easing Eddie into the bed. Eddie doesn’t let go of him, making it awkward, but he manages to shuffle next to him until he’s comfortable. Eddie immediately latches on to his side, head pillowed on Buck’s shoulder, and Buck holds him close, buries his nose in Eddie’s hair. It’s smoky, a little dusty from whatever he did last on shift, and Buck’s so pathetically grateful he’s here. 

“I’ll say it in the morning,” Eddie says. 

Buck says nothing, just holds Eddie a little tighter. Perhaps he will. Maybe he won’t. Buck knows better than to hope for things just out of his reach. He strokes a hand over Eddie’s back, not sure he knows what the feelings currently crushing his chest are. 

Love, definitely. 

Hope, despite his own misgivings.

A want so strong he almost chokes with it. 

Eddie’s breath evens out into sleep, and Buck runs a finger down his temple, the line of his nose. Eddie twitches but doesn’t wake up. It’s not often Buck gets to see this, not even when they nap at the station. There’s a wall between Eddie and what he’s willing to show, what he’s willing to give up (never his pride). 

But here, in the privacy of his own room, Buck can almost believe this is something he can have in the long term. If he’s careful. If he lets Eddie lead. 

If Eddie means it when he says I love you with that look in his eyes. 

Buck’s not used to getting what he wants and he won’t ever ask for anything again if it means he gets to have Eddie and Christopher for good. 

maybe eddie says i love you when he wakes up. WHO KNOWS :)))))

[whumpywhumper]

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt

Summary: Buck wasn't immediately re-instated following Rage. The impact is life threatening.

Whumptober 2020: Day 12--I Think I've Broken Something Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

@whumptober2020

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

V***V

Buck took another swig from the rum bottle before answering Eddie’s call on the fourth ring. If he’d been thinking clearly, he wouldn’t have answered it, but, at this point, denying himself any contact with his best friend was just something he couldn’t make himself do. 

“‘Lo?” he answered, voice low enough that he hoped the slur was imperceptible. 

It’s been a week since he last heard Eddie’s voice in the grocery store, the echo of you’re exhausting running through his head again and again. Bobby had called him that evening, let him know that the Chief was in negotiations to get him reinstated, that they hadn’t wanted the headache of a lawsuit. 

Because that’s all he was: a headache. 

“Buck? Do you have a minute?” 

“Sure, Eds,” he answered, working to enunciate past the numbness in his lips, “you ‘kay?” 

“Look, um, I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day about. . . about Chris, and Abuela told me he’s been asking to talk to you all night before bed,” Eddie blew out an exasperated breath, and Buck could imagine the way the older man rubbed the back of his neck, thick eyebrows drawn together. “I know it would mean a lot for him to talk to you. . .” 

Buck’s lips wobbled as he thought of Chris, that precious little ball of sunshine that he’d lost in the water. His breath hitched, and he took another slug of rum, trying to dull the pain in his chest. He grabbed another tiny, yellow tablet from the coffee table, sticking it under his tongue as he looked out the dark loft windows. 

“—Buck? Buck?!” 

“Hmm?” Buck returned his attention to Eddie. He didn’t even know he’d stopped paying attention. “Sorry, ‘m s’ry, Ed’s, what?” 

“I just asked if you wanted to talk to Christopher,” his tone was incredulous, “hell man, I’m taking a huge step here trusting you to talk to my son. Do you really not care?” 

Buck’s face screwed up at the anger in Eddie’s voice, trying to keep the hurt from entering his own. “Ah-course I care, Eds. S’just. . . It’s not r’lly a good t’me. . .” he couldn’t disguise his increasing slur, but he hoped he held back the sound of the thick sob growing in his throat, “Chris shoul’n’t talk t’me like this.” He tucked his free arm around his torso and pressed his face into his jean clad knees, trying to muffle his wet sniffle. I’m sorry, Superman, he thought, heartbroken. 

“Buck, are you drunk?!” Eddie hissed, voice lowering as it became even more disbelieving. “You’re on blood thinners, Evan, are you crazy? What happened to taking care of yourself so you could get back to the station?” 

He laughed, the sound wavering and wrong. “Dunn’t matter, Eds,” he answered, leaning back against the bottom of the couch, head tipping back for another swallow of liquor. He grabbed at the table clumsily, hearing a couple of skitters across the floor. The chalky texture of the pills was unpleasant, and his tongue worked against the inside of his mouth, washing it down with more rum. 

“What? What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Wasn’t that the whole point of the lawsuit? Wasn’t that the whole point of you not being around?” Eddie’s voice was angry, his tone taking the same razor edge it had in the grocery store when he’d had his finger in Buck’s face. 

Buck shook his head, rubbing clumsily at his eyes as they started to water, forgetting that Eddie couldn’t see him. “Nah... not really,” he mumbled, honesty forced to the surface through alcohol and drugs, “I jus’ wanted to c’me home, but ev’n Bobby d’n wan’ me back. Nobody wants me, Eds,”  he whimpered, “‘M alone.” 

Parents didn’t want him. Maddie abandoned him twice, Abby left, Ali couldn’t handle him. . .Bobby didn’t want him. 

The crew of the 118 didn’t understand why the job meant so much to him. They had families, kids, lives outside of the station. What did Buck have really? A group of people who didn’t want him, didn’t understand him. At least as a firefighter he made a difference, saved lives. Who was Evan Buckley without that? What did he have without that?

An empty apartment, and a sister who didn’t need him. He didn’t have Eddie and Chris, they weren’t his, not really. He’d ruined whatever they could have been with the lawsuit, with abandoning them, however unintentionally. Eddie would never forgive him, not after Shannon did the same thing 

All the while, playing on repeat: You’re exhausting. Suck it up. You’re exhausting. Suck it up. You’re exhausting. 

“What are you talking about, Buck? We’re pissed, but we’re a family, okay? You had a place in the 118 until the damn lawsuit, hell, from what I hear you’re getting that spot back. All you had to do was talk to us, Buck, and none of this would’ve happened.” 

That was Buck. The impulsive fuck up. Didn’t think about the consequences. 

“Would you—“ he hiccuped, rubbing a few more tears away with his damp sleeve, “—w’ld you tell Chris m’sorry? I jus’ couldn’t keep swimmin’, ‘kay? He’s such an awesome kid, s’not his fault I’m fucked up.” 

“What? Buck, you’re not making any sense.”

“Might be the pills,” he mumbled, “makin’ errything fuzzy.” 

“Pills?!” Eddie gasped liked he’d been sucker punched, “Buck, what?”  

“Jusss dinn’t wanna hurt anymore, Eds,” he tried to explain, “feels like my chest’s always ‘bout to implode. M’heart’s bein’ crushed,” he snorted indelicately, “s’worse than my leg. Hurts. M’so tired a’hurtin’, Eds.” 

“Oh, Buck, cariño mio,” it sounded like Eddie was about to cry, “do you know how many you took?” He thought he heard a feminine voice in the background, thick with concern. “Me tengo que ir, Abuela, te lo explicare mas tarde. Call 9-1-1 to Buck’s. Now.” There was the sound of a door slamming, and Eddie breathing hard into the phone. 

“Don’ call 9-1-1, Eds,” he slurred, “m’fine, don’ wanna bother Maddie.” 

“You’re not fine,” Eddie snapped, “do you know how many you took? What did you take?”

“Don’ be mad,” he started crying softly, “can’t stand when you’re mad a’me. M’sorry I lost Chris, m’so sorry.” 

“Buck,” Eddie took a deep breath, his tone softening, ”Chris is home safe, I told you I don’t blame you for that. Cariño, I need to know what you took, how much did you take?” 

“I dunno,” he mumbled, “had ‘lot from my sug’ry dinn’t use. Tried t’get better faster. Dinn’t work,” he sniffled, swallowing thickly, voice shaking, “cause m’not good enough.” 

“Buck, Evan,” there was a car door slamming in the background, an engine revving, “you’re good, so good, nothing’s been the same without you, cariño, please.”

“You don’ want me, Eds,” Buck slurred, biting his lip as his heart gave a viscous squeeze. It didn’t matter than Buck had wanted Eddie since he’d seen him in that locker room for the first time, had fallen in love with him and his son after seeing them after that earthquake. Eddie didn’t, could never, want Buck back. Couldn’t love Buck the same way he loved him, with everything, every ounce of himself. He hiccuped back a sob as he took another slug of rum, another pill to chase away the pain, head lolling on the couch cushions, “Bosko already replaced me anyway. . .s’better.” 

Bosko would take care of Eddie. It’s not like Buck had done a very good job of having Eddie’s back. 

“Bosko?! What—How?!” Eddie couldn’t seem to settle on a question, an inarticulate noise of bewilderment trailing his quick breaths. “Talk to me, cariño, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“The truck, the embolism, the tsu—tsunami. . .“ he blinked slowly, taking a shallow breath and sighing it out over the phone, lips wobbling as he sniffled back a whine, “M’be the w’rld’s tryin’ t’tell me somethin’, ya know?”

“Buck, Evan, what are you saying?” The other man’s voice was shattered, and it broke Buck’s heart, destroying the last dam holding back his tears. 

“‘M jus’ so tired, Eds,” he sobbed, letting the tears stream down his cheeks. “I know ‘m exhausting,” he said, quoting Eddie’s words that had burned their way into his brain, “but ‘m jus’ so tired. M’sorry, I can’t. . .can’t do it anymore.” The lump in his throat became too thick to force words past, and he sobbed harder, head swimming. 

Everything was becoming heavier, breaths shallower as his eyelids slid closed. The rum bottle tipped to the side, clinking against the floor as a dribble of liquid splashed out onto his limp hand. He didn’t remember the last time he’d slept without nightmares, without being crushed by a ladder truck, being swept away by the water, without losing Chris. Seeing the blame in Eddie’s eyes for losing his son. 

Couldn’t he just sleep?

“—uck! Evan?! Don’t you dare go to sleep! I’m almost there, please, cariño mio, por favor.”

Had he said that stuff out loud? He hadn’t meant to, but he couldn’t find the energy to apologize as the phone slipped from his hand. Eddie’s voice became even more muffled until even that went away. 

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @steadfastsaturnsrings and @jeeyuns for tagging me!

I've been slow to post lately due to the holiday + some residual post-covid fatigue that's been kicking my ass. But here is a snippet from my upcoming chapter of Precious and Fragile Things!

---

He peers through the kitchen doorway and sees the entire long, broad form of Buck squashed to fit on his couch. 

“Oh, my god,” Eddie splutters. 

Buck is here? On Eddie’s couch? Eddie tries to think of anything that happened past The Ballad of John and Yoko and finds he cannot. Shit. But Buck is draped in a quilt from Eddie’s linen closet, so obviously Drunk Eddie invited him to stay. What the fuck? 

Hearing Eddie, Buck’s eyes fly open, hazy and surprised. He sits up, a little too quick and mechanically for someone who drank and much as he did the night before. And so many chocolate beers, too. He must feel like garbage. Vaguely, Buck pokes at his temple, right by the birthmark above his eye. 

“Even I’ve got a hangover,” he says, a little amazed, like he should be somehow impervious.  

“You’re in my house,” Eddie says. “On my couch.”

“I am,” Buck says, still rubbing his temple. 

“Do you remember why?” Eddie asks sheepishly. “Because I do not.”

---

No pressure tagging @pantsaretherealheroes @artemis-the-sinister @jamespearce9-1-1 @theotherbuckley @fionaswhvre @exhuastedpigeon

[duckduck-buck]

Puppy meets Human Puppy

This is one of the works I’ve posted on my AO3, it’s pretty short and not my usual style, but I started appreciating that kind of light writing a lot more! I don’t know how formatting  on tumblr works so hopefully I didn’t fuck it up! You can definitely go and read it on AO3 if you prefer of course, the formatting is better there.

.

Princeton is a happy bastard. He’s the happiest bastard around and Eddie is pretty sure that if he continues grinning like that he’s going to explode. 

They are on a scene, a minor emergency that isn’t dangerous for any of them. The caller is already being taken cared of by Hen and Chimney, Bobby is talking with passerby and supervising the scene and Buck and Princeton are all cosy. The blond firefighter has the prettiest smile on his face, he’s literally glowing and Eddie feels blessed by that sight. Seriously. However, Princeton is here, receiving all of Buck’s attention—which, rude.

Eddie hates it with a passion. He would have preferred to be the one receiving that smile because that’s how it should be. It’s written in the books, the stars, somewhere. Princeton is not supposed to be in the equation. It’s supposed to be Buck + Eddie not Buck + Princeton and right now it’s all wrong. He knows it, Princeton knows it, Hen and Chim—judging by the smirks he can sense— know it, Bobby knows it, everyone but Buck, bless his heart, knows. 

So why the hell is Princeton getting what Eddie should be getting? It does not make any sense whatsoever and he won’t stand for it. But he refuses to make it obvious, knowing it would make Buck frown, or worse, notice, so he glares. He glares so hard that if eyes could kill, Princeton would have died at least ten times and then combusted in fire, but they don’t so the fucker is safe.

Anyway, Princeton is a lucky, smug and happy little bastard, as well as an attention stealer and Eddie wants him gone.

Fuck.

Of course, he would be jealous of a stupid dog.

Ah, yes. Did you know Princeton was a puppy?

.

Puppy meets human puppy

.

It’s stupid. It’s completely, ridiculously stupid. And maybe a little sad too. That’s what Chim tells Eddie once they arrived to the firehouse, Princeton in tow. The puppy is happily playing with their human disaster downstairs. Bobby, Hen, Chimney and Eddie are all seated at the table, talking. Or more like the other three are talking and Eddie is brooding. Now that’s something he would totally deny if asked because Eddie Diaz does not pout or brood. Never. 

Chimney and Hen and Bobby—which, once again, rude—are mocking him, he can feel it. They are totally being little shits, something he will never say out loud, and laughing about his pain. No. Eddie is not being dramatic. Eddie Diaz does not do dramatics, that’s Chim’s and Buck’s scene. He really is in pain. 

“It’s a dog, a puppy. What did you expect?”, Hen isn’t even looking at him, the magazine in her hand more interesting than whatever is going on with him.

“Right? Buck is almost a puppy himself, they were bound to like each other.”, Chimney adds with a teasing smile.

“Princeton is a golden retriever.”, Bobby finishes, as if it means anything. It kind of does.

“He’s a nuisance that’s what he is.”

“Now I know you don’t mean that Eddie, that’s just the jealousy speaking.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure.”

Buck appears before he can answer, that pretty smile still on his face and maybe, just maybe, Eddie softens just a little. Maybe.

The blond rounds the table, pats Eddie’s shoulder and flops down in the chair beside him. He steals the cup of coffee in front of his best friend and take a sip.

“You know you could have just, I don’t know, made one?”, Eddie says with a smile.

“I could have but why do that when you made one I could steal?”

Hen and Chimney both snort and Bobby has that soft, teasing smile of his. They all know. Eddie always makes a cup of coffee, not for himself, but for Buck. No he never told him it was for him, he will never tell him. What Buck doesn’t know won’t kill him. Eddie is perfectly fine with letting him ‘steal it’. 

The moment is broken by a small bark, and seconds after, Princeton is there, looking at Buck with his big brown eyes. The blond is won over and already out of his chair, dropping on the floor to pet the happy golden retriever. He didn’t even finish the coffee. 

Eddie hates Princeton. 

“Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy right Prince? You’re the best boy.”

Buck adores him. 

.

It’s Friday night. Bobby and Athena invites everyone over for a small gathering. Everyone is here. Karen is animatedly talking with Athena, Hen is holding Nia while she catches up with Maddie and May. The children are all running around outside. Bobby and Michael are also outside and Chimney is with Eddie, beers in hand. 

Buck would have normally been right with them, being his happy, loud self and bickering with Chimney at any given chance but no, the man is too busy paying attention to Princeton. Yes. The dog is also here. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck managed to convince Athena to let Princeton at her house. In fact he doesn’t even know why his best friend thought it was a good idea to bring him over but it’s too late to wonder now. The attention stealer is already here and he’s already getting all the Buck love. 

At this moment, Eddie doesn’t only hate Princeton, he also hates Athena’s soft spot for Buck, his friends perceptiveness—because he knows they all know—and Buck’s love for the dog. 

Eddie is definitely jealous of a dog and it’s not pathetic.

(Except that it kind of is and he knows that.)

They soon get to the table for dinner and the golden retrieved, aka Eddie’s arch nemesis, is forced to stay outside, which, good. Buck does pout, but Athena’s soft spot for Buck has a limit and she doesn’t let his puppy dog eyes fool her. If she gives him an extra big slice of pie when they get to the dessert, it’s nobody’s business but hers.

If you must know, during the dinner, most of Buck’s attention was on Eddie and Christopher. Of course, Eddie basked in it, accepted each smiles as the blessings they were, had as much contact with him as he could and talked as much as he could without looking suspiciously needy for attention. All of this to say that Buck’s attention was on him and not on Princeton. 

Eddie counts it as a win. Take that stupid dog.

.

Princeton is everywhere. At the station, at Buck’s loft, at Maddie’s. Everywhere. Eddie draws the line at having him at his house. And by that he means that he pouts the whole day because one, he’s too weak to say no to Buck, two, Christopher is way too happy when he sees the puppy for the first time and three, the image of Chris, Buck and Princeton all happily messing around outside is precious, so precious and so pure that Eddie wants it to be burnt into his retina. The feeling of being a family is very strong and warms his heart.

Eddie still hates Princeton.

.

Princeton is sad today. Eddie is also sad today. The pathetic picture of sadness they make together is as adorable as it is ridiculous. Chimney is terrible for laughing at the two of them and calling them drama queens—how dare he? He went on a whole rant one day because someone drank the apple juice he had brought. Turns out, he was the one who had drunk it and he had forgotten.—. Hen is terrible for encouraging his behavior and taking not one, not two but multiples pictures of the two of them. Bobby is terrible for not stopping them and for participating in their mockery. Eddie doesn’t know when they corrupted him but they did and he doesn’t like it.

“Look at you two, both missing your best friend!”, Hen is way too happy by the way things are.

“First of all, he’s my best friend. Mine. Not his.”, Eddie points at the dog who has his head in his lap, “Understood dog? Mine, not yours.”

Princeton doesn’t even acknowledge him. He’s too sad for that.

“Wow. And Karen calls me possessive.”

“Let him be Hen, he’s experiencing withdrawal.”

Withdrawal. Yes. Buck withdrawal. The reason of his shared sadness with Princeton is the notable absence of one Evan Buckley. The poor guy is down with a very high fever and a terrible cough. Maddie, who thankfully doesn't have a shift today, is currently with him and keeps them updated via messages on the group chat they all share. Princeton, who was brought this morning by Chimney, and Eddie are the one who are suffering the most, both unused to the blond’s absence. So of course the two would pout.

“You know we get off soon right? The moment our shift is over you can go to Buck and stay with him. I don’t recommend it because I don’t need another sick firefighter but knowing you, you don’t care about my advice. You will have to take Princeton with you though.”

And he does. The moment they get off, he’s racing to his car, Princeton on his tail, under his teammates amused gazes. When he arrives, he meets Maddie at the door. She tells him that her brother is awake, wishes him good luck, pats Princeton’s head and leaves with a wide smile.

Eddie is thankful for his Abuela agreeing to take care of Chris tonight, he knows Buck would have love to see the kid but they will have to wait until he gets better. 

Princeton makes a beeline for the top floor and Eddie follows. He’s greeted by the sight of a grinning Buck, buried under a heavy blanket, running his hands over the overly excited puppy. Buck’s grin widen when he sees him and Eddie is quick to join them. 

Yes, Princeton gets a pat or two from him.

Time passes by, Eddie heats up some soup Maddie made earlier, Princeton eating some dog food not too far from him, and brings it to Buck. They end up talking quietly about everything and anything and they are joined by the golden retriever later on.

Buck’s head drops on Eddie’s shoulder, his eyes are glassy and dropping. He’s tired. Princeton is curled up at the end of the bed, already asleep. Eddie is about to leave them be, still debating between staying and sleeping on Buck’s couch or leaving all together. As if sensing his inner conflict, Buck stops him from going anywhere.

“Stay?”

And how can Eddie say no when he looks at him like that?

They all sleep well that night.

.

Eddie kisses Buck on a Sunday. Princeton is here, so are Christopher and all of their friends.

Eddie kisses Buck on a Sunday and it’s perfect. Everyone is happy and smiling and cheering, and Buck is beaming.

Eddie kisses Buck on a Sunday, Princeton is running around, Bobby is tearing up because that’s his pseudo-son finally getting the love of his life, and Maddie is giving Eddie the most ridiculous and weirdly threatening shovel talk—she can’t stop smiling. Athena is getting money from Chimney and Hen and Karen because she won the bet. 

Eddie kisses Buck on a Sunday and knows he will do it everyday.

He doesn’t hate Princeton anymore, he never really did, and now he gets the attention he always wanted. But he does whisper to the puppy that he won. Because he totally did, fair and square.

Princeton is still a happy bastard.

Eddie + Buck is still the better equation. 

And yes, Eddie + Buck = Love.