#during this time i didn’t have any wifi at home so whenever i would get wifi from a public place

[flightfoot]

Ruffled Wings

AO3

@dj-wifi-december

“She’s not here right now, I’m sorry,” Marlena said. “Alya rushed off to Marinette’s house an hour ago. I think she said something about her friend having a crisis?”

Nino nodded politely. “Thanks for letting me know. It’s no big deal, I was just planning on surprising her with this new playlist I’d made. I’ll just show it to her at school tomorrow.” 

Assuming that she wasn’t busy whispering with Marinette about something. The two of them had been close ever since Alya’d moved to Paris, but lately Marinette and Alya had been less “thick as thieves” and more “attached at the hip”.

As he turned to walk away, Marlena caught his arm. “Wait.”

He stopped, looking Alya’s mom over more thoroughly than he’d done a few seconds before. Her wings looked a little ruffled - nothing too bad, but combined with the worry in her voice… “What happened? Is something wrong with Alya?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “That’s the problem.”

He frowned. “You don’t know?” 

Alya wore her wing covers when in public, like most people did. Few people wanted to show every random passerby how they were feeling at any given time, so they covered them up for privacy’s sake.

But it was common to remove wing covers when among friends and family, and Alya was no exception. She’d wear them to school, of course, but would usually take them off whenever meeting up with friends inside, or when just not feeling particularly worried about what any random stranger might think of her.

She had been wearing her wing covers more often than usual, though. Even when she and Nino were alone in her room. He’d thought it was strange at the time, but everything seemed strange after Monarch’s announcement that he’d stolen most of the Miraculous. His own wings had been a little droopy that night. Poor Wayzz. Hopefully the little dude was doing okay, even while being held captive by Monarch.

“She hasn’t taken off her wing covers around us in weeks,” she confessed. “Not even during mealtimes or at night. Not that I’m seeing her at night all that often. She sleeps over at Marinette’s place two to three times a week. I don’t have a problem with that, Marinette’s a sweet girl and her parents are some of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, but… it just seems off.”

“I had noticed her walking to school with Marinette more often.” He’d been disappointed that Alya’d been wanting to walk with her more often than him, but after the debacle with thinking she was cheating on him with Chat Noir, he wasn’t inclined to push on that front. He didn’t want to accidentally push her away while trying to keep her close. 

“Could you ask her what’s going on? I thought maybe she’d open up around you more than us. I was thinking of asking Marinette as well, but she hasn’t come over since Alya started acting cagey, and I’m not desperate enough yet to call her directly.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get to the bottom of this! Detective Nino is on the case!” Though with less spying and more just asking what was going on. He’d learned his lesson.

Marlena’s wings drooped in relief. “Thanks.” She looked back towards the kitchen. “Want some curry for the road? I made too many portions since I’m used to Alya being here.” 

Nino’s eyes lit up. “You’re an angel, dude!”

She chuckled a little, before getting a container for him to take the curry home.

----

He waited on the school steps the next day. Sure enough, Alya and Marinette walked to school together. Alya’d probably slept over there again.

Alya arched an eyebrow as he ran up to her, smiling. “What’s the occasion?” 

“I made a cool new playlist for you, see!” he held out an earbud to her, before shaking his head. “Dammit, that’s not the reason I waited for you - okay it’s not the only reason I waited for you, anyway.”

“Got another plan for the Resistance?” she asked, sounding skeptical.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh… not right now?”

She let out a relieved sigh. “So, what is it?”

“Can we talk later? Privately?”

Alya sucked in a breath, swallowing audibly. “What about?”

“Nothing bad,” he assured her. “Well… maybe something worrisome. Not in our relationship,” he added hurriedly, not wanting to freak her out more than she already was, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Alya, is something going on?” Marinette asked. Nino could almost hear her asking herself, Did I miss something?

“It’s fine, Nino’s just worrying about nothing,” Alya said. Her tone wasn’t entirely convincing.

“If there’s something wrong, you know you can tell me, right?” Marinette asked. 

“I told you, I’m fine,” Alya said, a little snappier than normal. “I’ll just talk with Nino, we’ll clear this up, and everything will be fine.”

Marinette bit her lip, before heading inside. 

“So, when do you want to talk?” Alya asked, turning to Nino. 

“During lunch, maybe?” He suggested. “At your house? You missed some awesome food last night.”

She blinked. “How do you know that?”

“Aside from every meal your mom makes being awesome? I tried to drop by last night, but you weren’t there. Your mom gave me some of the curry she’d made.” He hesitated, before barreling onwards. “Actually… that’s part of why I wanted to ask. She’s concerned about you, with how often you’re going over to Marinette’s, and- and how often you’ve been hiding your wings. Which is your right!” he added quickly. “But you don’t usually do that at home, or when it’s just me and you.”

“I…” she bit her lip, looking away. She let out a breath. “Okay. We’ll do this. My place at lunchtime. But it’s not that big a deal, really, I promise!”

He nodded, taking her hand. “That’s fine. Then we’ll just get to hang out together, right? And even if it’s not that big a deal to you, I still want to know about it, to help you with it.”

She smiled at him, her eyes softening. “You’re the best, you know that!”

“Oh, I dunno, I think I could stand to be told that more often,” he grinned.

“Nope, I take it back, don’t want you to get a big head,” she teased.

“Hey!” There was no fire behind his response as the two of them ran up the steps, still holding hands.

----

A few hours later, the two of them cuddled close on Alya’s bed, door locked to prevent being surprised by Alya’s younger siblings. Nino had the feeling that if they were interrupted, he’d have a hard time getting Alya to open up again.

“I missed this,” he murmured, leaning against her, hand running up and down her side. 

She let out a contented sigh. “So did I.”

They stayed like that for a moment, drinking in each other’s presence.

“You know, we still need to talk about your wings,” he murmured. “School won’t wait forever.”

Alya groaned, but sat up straight. He mirrored her, looking her in the eyes. He had a feeling this discussion would be better if they could actually see each other, to get a good sense of how she was feeling. 

Slowly, Alya pulled off her wing covers.

The feathers of her small, gray wings stuck out at odd angles, many hanging lifelessly, dull and uncared for. The wings themselves appeared to be in good shape - at least, nothing appeared to be obviously wrong with the shape or musculature of them - but the state of the feathers was concerning, to say the least.

Nino had seen worse, especially in documentaries about people who’d been trapped in abusive, painful circumstances. Wings mirrored that person’s mental state - no amount of actual grooming could get them to look nice, only an improved mindset could do that. Many an abusive spouse had been caught due to the unnatural angles their wings rested at, the broken bones (or well, what passed for bones for a mental projection, at any rate), bruised and bleeding wings, the lack of feathers, were dead giveaways that someone needed help, now, whether the person themselves thought so or not. 

Of course, those symptoms only manifested in the most extreme cases, when the person was so psychologically broken that their wings changed to match (Once they started recovering, the wings’ condition improved as well). He’d long suspected that Gabriel went beyond simply being a stern, distant parent and into straight-up abuse. Adrien never removed his wing covers, ever - not in front of anyone. He refused to talk about the condition of his wings either, saying only that his father had forbidden him from talking about them. No amount of persuasion got him to budge, no matter how much Adrien looked like he wanted to tell him. 

But with all of the akuma attacks, it was inevitable that Adrien’s wings would get exposed sometimes. One girl’d gotten akumatized because Chloe had mocked her for forgetting her wing covers. In retaliation, she became Revealer, using her power to vaporize any wing covering or other concealments people used on their wings. Adrien didn’t get out of the way in time.

At first, Nino hadn’t understood why Gabriel was so stringent about Adrien keeping his wings under covers. Sure, they were a glossy, sleek-looking black, which contradicted the angelic white wings that photo editors always gave him in his photo ops and that were added in via CG in any commercials he was in, but black wings weren’t that stigmatized, and he doubted they stayed that color all the time anyway - most people’s wings had a few common forms that they usually defaulted to, but rarely did they stay a single color at all times.

Nino’s wings, for instance, were usually a warm, light brown color, and larger than most other people’s. Probably because of how much his little brother enjoyed snuggling under his wings when he was cold or upset, though he’d been starting to pull away from doing so lately, much to Nino’s disappointment. But if he needed to grab attention, like say, if he was auditioning or making a pitch for something, his wings would often change colors, turning blue, green, orange, any sort of color that tropical birds could have - something flashy that’d cause people to sit up and take notice.

Then Nino had looked closer at Adrien’s wings, and noticed something that made him wish he’d actually managed to find Gabriel as Bubbler and send him into the sky.

Adrien’s feathers were glossy and well-cared for… the feathers that he actually had, at any rate.

His flight feathers were missing.

Not just clipped or cut, but entirely absent. 

Wings may not allow humans to fly - they were far too small for that - but they still had that association in most people’s mind, an association with freedom.

While Adrien’s wings were well cared-for and remarkably healthy, he had no freedom.

He’d tried to ask Adrien about them afterwards, but his face had just screwed up, with him saying that he wasn’t allowed to talk about his wings. At one point he looked like he was in physical pain as Nino pressed him about what having stripped wings might mean for him, his eyes almost pleading as he said he couldn’t talk about them, even though his wide eyes and slightly open, gaping mouth had indicated to Nino that Adrien hadn’t thought about what the state of his wings might mean, and the disturbing implications they held.

As much as Nino would love to get Adrien away from that poor excuse for a father, Adrien simply missing his flight feathers wouldn’t be enough to get the child protection system involved - not against someone as rich and powerful as Gabriel, especially when Adrien was so reluctant to talk about his wings. 

Hopefully in the future he’d find some way to free Adrien, to restore his wings to what they should be. For now, he just tried to be the guy’s friend, and hoped that would be enough.

“Nino?” Alya queried, frowning. 

He snapped back to the present. “Oh, right!”

He might not be able to help Adrien, but Alya was a different story. 

Peering at her wings, he tried to make sense of what their state might mean. 

With the way several of the feathers stuck out, it looked like her wings were uncared for, and the dullness probably hinted at some sort of depression or otherwise feeling down for an extended period of time, but there didn’t appear to be any structural damage that would be harmful in the long or medium term - unlike with Adrien’s wings, which would have to regrow flight feathers over a long period of time in actual birds, requiring a moult of some sort, Alya’s wings mostly looked like they needed a good preening and other sorts of grooming, but like they’d be fine once those were done. 

But that required Alya to take care of herself, and likely, for other people to help take care of her.

He reached out a hand to touch her wing, but hesitated. “May I?”

She nodded, biting her lower lip.

Gently he stroked the wings, causing Alya to shiver slightly. 

He couldn’t actually smooth out the wings - only a change in her mental state could do that - but maybe his touch could soothe her, however slightly.

“I- I realized my wings looked a little… off, the morning after Monarch made his announcement,” she told him quietly. “I’d slept over at Marinette’s that day, so I just… put my wing covers back on before she noticed. She’s had a hard time recently, and I didn’t want her to worry over me.”

“Sometimes, we want to worry over you,” he told her softly, cupping her chin in his hands. “A lot of people care about you - me, Marinette, your mom, the entire class, really - and it worries us more when you’re keeping your hurt tucked away.”

“I don’t think Chloe would worry,” Alya said, her mouth quirking upwards slightly.

He laughed. “Okay, maybe not Chloe. She’d just say you were being ‘ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!’”

She joined in, chuckling. “One of the few times I agree with Chloe.”

That caused him to sober up. “It’s not ridiculous, Alya, whatever it is. If it’s hurting you, it’s valid.”

His mind raced back, thinking of what would’ve happened around the time Monarch made his announcement that would’ve caused Alya’s wings to get into the state they were, and stay that way. 

Monarch’s announcement itself had ruffled a lot of people’s feathers, but he doubted it would’ve led to the dull wings and broken, loose feathers in her wings, not all these weeks later. So it was probably something else, something more personal, that’d wormed its way into Alya’s head and wouldn’t leave, like an earworm for a particularly grating piece of music that nevertheless gets itself stuck in your head.

His eyes drifted down to the pouch Alya still wore - the one that used to hold a small, mischievous fox kwami. His eyes widened. “Is this about Trixx?”

She winced, looking away. “I- I know Ladybug blames herself for the Miraculous being stolen. But as far as Trixx goes, I’m more to blame than she could ever be. I gave the Fox Miraculous back to her, even over her insistence I keep it. If I’d just listened to her, if I’d kept the necklace, Trixx would be safe and Ladybug and Chat Noir wouldn’t have to fight alone. When I think of him, held captive by that- that MONSTER-” she punched her bed lightly, her voice cracking. “-I can’t help but to imagine what it would feel like, constrained and controlled by one of the most evil, despicable men alive, knowing that my power would be used for evil against my will, not knowing when I’d get free.” She fished around in her back, taking out a grape. It must’ve been pretty fresh, it still looked good to eat. “I’ve been restocking my bag regularly, just in case Monarch somehow slips up and Trixx manages to escape. He is a sneaky fox, after all,” she said, hiccupping slightly as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. 

A lump formed in Nino’s throat, thinking of Wayzz. He hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time with the little turtle as Alya had with Trixx, but he’d still made a secret handshake with him. He’d worried about Wayzz after seeing the shield around Monarch’s projection during his announcement, but had quickly pivoted to wondering what this meant for Ladybug and Chat Noir instead. 

But Alya’s and Trixx’s relationship was different. They’d know each other for a lot longer, had been together even outside of emergencies, had really gotten to be close friends. 

No wonder Alya wasn’t okay.

“Monarch has to be feeding Trixx at least,” he assured her. “He has to, in order to use his power. Maybe not as much as he should, and I doubt it would be his favorite food, but he’s probably not in physical danger.” He hoped not. If the innocent little kwamis were badly hurt-

Well. He’d knocked Hawk Moth upside the head with his shield before, on Heroes Day. He wouldn’t say no to doing it again. Possibly repeatedly. 

“I- I keep telling myself that,” Alya said, tugging her blanket towards her and hugging it tight. “All the kwamis have to be - not okay, but recoverable. That Ladybug and Chat Noir just need to get them back. That they WILL get them back. That my mistake might have caused Trixx to be kidnapped, but that it’s fixable. Eventually.”

Oh yeah, she had said something about her giving the Fox Miraculous to Ladybug, hadn’t she? “Why’d you give the Miraculous back to Ladybug?” he asked gently. 

“After Sentibubbler, I had to stay hidden when I transformed because Shadow Moth would target my family otherwise, remember?” she said. “I was exposed during the fight against Strike Back. If I kept the Miraculous, I thought he’d attack them again,” She barked out a laugh, a few tears slipping out of her eyes and down her cheeks. “Instead, he attacked Trixx.”

Nino reached out, his heart aching, flexing his wings as they grew bigger and bigger, becoming softer, fluffier - more like ostrich wings than anything. He wrapped them around his girlfriend, surrounding her with a blanket of feathers. “You did the right thing,” he told her, taking both her hands in his, as he looked her in the eyes. “You gave up something you loved, something amazing, because, as far you knew, it was the safest thing for everyone. Even if you had kept Trixx, I don’t think things would’ve been okay - there’s no reason to think Monarch wouldn’t have targeted you or the people around you again.” He hesitated. “Besides… it’s kind of my fault as well. I was the one who exposed you.” 

He hadn’t really thought through his actions at the time, he’d just acted. And Alya and Trixx had paid the price.

“Nino, if you hadn’t done that, I would’ve been a pancake,” Alya told him flatly. “You did the right thing.”

“Same for you,” he countered. “You did the best you could with the information you had. If you’re to blame, then so am I.”

She smiled slightly. He glanced at her wings. Was it his imagination, or were the feathers a little shinier? “We really are quite the pair, aren’t we?” Alya said.

He laughed. “The only couple that would be more iconic would be Adrien and Marinette.”

She groaned. “Oh, don’t even get me started on those two. I love Marinette to death, but her love life is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever borne witness to.”

“At least Adrien’s finally realized his feelings for Marinette?” Nino said. “Took him long enough. He’s been shooting her goo-goo eyes for months now.”

“Yeah, and now Marinette’s running away from her feelings for him, now that they’re almost certainly returned,” Alya muttered.

He frowned. “Does that have something to do with why you’ve been sleeping over there so often?” He understood why she’d keep her wings concealed, but the sleepovers seemed odd, if she was purposely not seeking out emotional support.

“Well…” she said awkwardly. “Partly.” She shot Nino an apologetic look. “Sorry, I really can’t tell you much more than that. Marinette’s going through a tough time and no one else can be there for her the way I can - not even her parents. It’s Marinette’s secret, and I really, REALLY can’t tell you anything more than that. But I have to make sure she’s okay. As okay as she can be, at any rate. And if that means sleeping over there half the time? …well, don’t tell mom I said this, but Dupain-Cheng breakfasts are to die for.”

He laughed. “She may be a professional cook, but I don’t think even your mom would take offense to that. They’re the best bakery in the city.”

Sobering up, he leaned forwards, touching his forehead to hers. “Just make sure to take care of yourself too, okay? You’re important, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to care for yourself before you’ll be able to care for others.”

“I’m guessing you’re gonna enforce that?” she asked, her eyes crinkling as she smiled. 

He tipped back his hat. “Just call me Nurse Nino!” he joked.

“Well, Nurse Nino,” she said mischievously, “we’ve still got a few minutes left. How about a game of Super Penguino?” 

“Oh you’re on!”

As Alya reached for her tablet, Nino inspected her wings once again. They still looked a little duller than usual, and a few feathers were still out of alignment, but they looked a lot better than they had only minutes before. 

He’d continue checking up on her, trying to be there for her, until they were back to their full glory.

[struggling-with-time]

How to spiral out of control [Simpbur x reader]

Pairing: c!Wilbur Soot x fem!reader (Simpbur x reader)

Summary: How simpbur became simpbur. And how you grew up and lived with him.

Warnings: Obsession, unhealthy obsession, stalking, murder, drugging, unhealthy relationship, and Simpbur being a creep.

Words: 5K

Masterlist: Wilbur’s Masterlist - Full Masterlist

A/N: Listen I had brainrot. And I don't know how to defend this. (Also requests are still open! Click here!) And it's unedited for now it's 5:12 am here I will edit later today

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Wilbur was a pretty insignificant child. The death of his mother being one of the most interesting things about his childhood. While he claimed not to blame his youngest brother for the loss of his mother. He certainly had a funny way of showing his youngest brother affection.

Wilbur is the middle child of three. A charming but quiet and well accomplished older brother, who seems to never have to end to his dedication neither success. And his youngest brother, a loud ball of sunshine that just seems to make everyone in a good mood. Truly good with people, something Wilbur never seemed to grasp.

His whole childhood tainted by that fact. Always living in the shadow of his brothers, the clear favourites of everyone who came near the family of four.

So his grades was just average, never good enough to get acknowledged, never bad enough to need extra attention. Just average, like the rest of him. He grew up lanky, not athletic neither unable to run. Wilbur was grey in a family of golden people. His father raised them alone for most of Wilbur’s life. His father that despite never saying it out loud had clear favourites in his brothers. It was always, oh and Wilbur too!

Never him, never just him.

So, Wilbur spent most of his childhood lonely, disregarded and weird. A pitiful child. A pathetic child.

The thing is there was one thing, that made Wilbur worth anyone’s time. One person. You.

His childhood best friend.

Well, that’s what anyone who only knew Wilbur would say. Because you were the only friend he had. However, it was different for you, although the two of you were good friends, you wouldn’t call him your best friend for years. That didn’t happen till you became teenagers.

You had always tried your best to include the weird kid in playdates, birthday parties, and playground games. But nobody else seemed to find him worth their time, with his weird and morbid comments. But you persisted that he wasn’t that weird, besides his older brother was really cool.

So, you stick around, you stick around as playdates become hangouts, as dolls become makeup, and homework goes from learning to read to writing essays.

While you had many friends, both come and go and stay, Wilbur had been there for as long as you could remember. A playground proposal documented on home video. And a remake of it on the day of your school dance. You had played along, but it was known to everyone that your childhood friend wanted to be more than friends. But you stayed, smiled for the camera and laughed it off.

Then the school dance was over, and the last exam had been taken. That’s when you moved a country over, and slowly you lost contact with the people you used to call friends, but Wilbur stayed. Wilbur always stayed.

He finally got the spot as the best friend in your mind too. A definite win in his book.

Wilbur had always been odd, a bit to the left of normal. But now, with distance and screens in between you, he only started to act more concerning. This was around the time he started talking about feeling depressed and useless.

Of course, you always told him you didn’t believe that, what else were you supposed to say? Your friendship turning more and more into therapy sessions once a week for Wilbur on your end. While for him it was the highlight of his week.

Clicking the call button beside your profile picture, an anime girl from one he had recommended to you himself. One he had stayed up an entire night to shift through different animes to find the perfect one to send your way. One he was guaranteed you would watch.

“Wilbur, I should really get off.”

“C’mon stay on just a bit later, please.”

The silence deafening over the video call, he watches you intensely as you pull your legs into your chest, your shitty webcam standing beside you on your bed.

Wilbur reached out for the energy drink beside him, a new habit he has picked up. The more hours spent on the computer, the more he seemed to consume.

“Fine, just half an hour more. But then it’s the last half hour.”

Wilbur smiles at that, you choosing him over everything else in the world. He likes that, he likes that a lot. You valuing him. Spending time with him, and only him. Your attention is his.

“We could always fall asleep on call, then we could keep talking.”

“Another day Wilbur, another day.”

That. That sentence he on the other hand didn’t like. Not one bit. A promise never kept. A promise left unspoken and unpromised from your side, but a broken and abandoned promise on his side.

Then there was the wall incident.

Wilbur wouldn’t have told you if it weren’t for you noticing the hole in his wall. One that matched his fist quite neatly. His father had taken his PS4 in punishment for Wilbur using so much the WiFi plan to call you. At least that’s what he told you.

In reality, he had gotten into a fight with his older brother, his brother had asked about you, how you were doing, and if he could say hi during a call. There was something about the words that had irked Wilbur, something that set him off, something about him that made his brother seem dangerous to Wilbur. So, he had decked his older brother in the face. Causing a blackeye to occur.

In return, Wilbur now sported a big black and blue spot from where he hit the floor. His brother having immediately tackled him.

And to Wilbur that had confirmed his thoughts. Other guys are dangerous, he’s the only one you should rely on.

The wall had taken the brunt of his rage that night, a screaming match with his dad that ended with his little brother getting sent to his friends' house, and his PS4 getting confiscated until Wilbur had gotten a job and was able to pay back the damages.

And he did get a job, much to your surprise. But you had encouraged him throughout it all. A dead-end cashier job that only seemed to make his world staler and more bothersome than before.

A time where he searched for every distraction possible, gaming, music, you.

You were proud of him when he got the hole in his wall fixed, and even more when he kept his job. And Wilbur doesn’t remember you ever giving him more praise than the day he told you he was starting to investigate going to university.

Naturally, you helped him, and along the way, Wilbur picked up a guitar. A new asset to his den of depression that his room had become, decked in led lights, and overpriced RGB gaming stuff.

The university acceptance came rather quick, and suddenly Wilbur was packing up his life and heading to university. Boxes filled with stuff he barely remembered owning, and kitchen appliances that would never see the light of the day.

And he can feel you starting to drift, already busy with your own life. But he clings to you.

He stays, Wilbur always stays in your life. Even when you drift.

Wilbur knows it’s affecting him. It’s not hidden from anyone. The longer that goes between the two of you talking, the sourer his mood gets. The longer you don’t respond to him, the more messages he sends. The more information he craves to know.

Who are you talking to?

Who are you seeing?

Who is so much more important than him?

Hadn’t he always been there for you?

Hadn’t he always stayed?

You owe him.

Wilbur grows bitter and resentful. But not to you, never to you. But for everyone around you. His biggest joys in life now coming from the ungodly amount of caffeine he drinks, and whenever you reach out first.

This is why the day you call him asking for help is forever a day that will bring him joy.

“Hey Will, you’re really good with tech, and I was wondering if you wanted to help me start streaming.”

He chokes on the energy drink. He chokes on his words. He chokes on the air. He drowns.

His heart aching. His anger festering. His-

“Sure.”

He hears himself respond before he can even process the thought.

It takes him 2 days of absence from university, and what feels like 2 even longer nights, before he’s an expert on how to stream. He reads everything he can find, he watched everything that gets suggested.

You asked him for help, so he will help.

But Wilbur, spends these hours conflicted. You want his help, not someone else’s, someone lesser than him. Him.

But at the same time. His mind keeps wandering, isn’t he enough any longer? Isn’t he good enough for you? Why isn’t he good enough for you? Why? Why?

And thus, he learns you how to use the software, and beings alongside you. He finds comfort in knowing most of your streams whenever possible is spent with him on a call with you.

Although that happens after hours of pestering, that doesn’t matter. He gets to talk to you, while the rest is limited to a measly chat.

You seem to find yourself comfortably in the gaming category, slowly growing. Slowly rising.

Wilbur’s own streams, on the other hand, feels more like incoherent rants interrupted by his guitar plays. And once in a blue moon, you are on call with him.

It doesn’t take long before he gives up, watching you grow. Finding more comfort in watching you, instead of being the watched. Not that anyone really did watch him besides for you.

Wilbur stays out of a camera, as you only seem to grow more comfortable being in front of one.

The first time you have someone on a call with you on stream, who isn’t Wilbur. He just can’t help but break his bedside lamp. It’s a guy nonetheless. A guy from the internet. The type of guy Wilbur has never been shy to tell you horror stories about.

And this is where another bad habit of his started to emerge. He just can’t help himself. But you’re laughing with someone else. You’re smiling for someone else. You’re his. Not anyone else’s. His. His. His.

Wilbur is quick to find the donating button he had helped you set up himself. At that time it had only been used a couple of times. Nothing big. But Wilbur wants big. He wants attention. He wants you.

He fumbles with his credit card as he keys in the numbers, he’s a bit too familiarised with them. Because anything he can get from the internet will be delivered that way.

And then the notification pops up on your screen. A donation number you had never expected. And you start crying. Right there. Right on stream. And Wilbur sucks it up. He sucks it right up that you’re crying for him, whiling praising him, and only him.

The match you were playing ruined, and Wilburs smile only grows as he hears the familiar tone of discord receiving a call.

That night. You had ditched the fellow streamer to thank Wilbur and hang out with him.

Something you never thought you would regret.

But oh, how you did. How you did.

It takes Wilbur around 2 months to get used to a large sum of money means special attention to him, and only him. For everyone to see.

And he can feel you pulling away, so each time he donates, it’s bigger. Larger. Grander.

He’s never on your stream without a donation anymore. Never on call for free. But Wilbur doesn’t mind, because everyone gets to see you’re his.

And he keeps increasing the amount as you keep growing until he hits a stalemate. He’s using half of his paycheck on you, while he doesn’t mind going hungry a couple of days. His bills won’t wait for him. And he has been living away from home for far too long to ever think about calling up his father and ask for money.

Not to mention his oldest brother would never. Then neither will Wilbur. Because Wilbur is better. Better than all of them.

The larger your stream grows, the closer graduation arrives, and then Wilbur is sitting in another apartment. Another dead-end job. Another grey life.

Another dull life passing him by. Your voice constantly on loop his apartment. Constantly filling his life. As it always has. But to you, Wilbur is barely a part of your everyday. Only really showing up when a donation comes in. As you once again tell him not to spend money on you.

But he seems to stay. Wilbur always stays.

He’s the first to like anything you post on social media. Always online never off. Always lurking. Never missing. Never absent. He’s always there.

Wilbur never misses a stream; he schedules his life around yours. Even if you’re a country away.

And then one day you’re not. You’re not a country away, you’re moving back. You’re moving closer. And suddenly you live an hour away by car. Instead of an airplane ride, and shitty trains.

Suddenly Wilbur can see himself get a foot in the door. No longer grasping onto his parasitic parasocial friendship with you. He can see himself being more than the childhood friend who has always been there. He can see himself as the partner that always is there.

Wilbur is giddy the entire car ride. He’s giddy as he feels his bag burn on his shoulder. And he’s giddy until the second you embrace him in a hug and welcome him into your new apartment.

It’s bigger than the one you’ve had since university.

And then his future crumbles. You start talking about a guy named Jared. Fucking Jared. Why did even his name have to leave a sour taste in his mouth? A guy you met over the internet. Not just any guy. No specifically the fucker from the first time Wilbur had donated.

Apparently, he wasn’t a streamer, but a friend you had made during your 2 years you lived at university but never told Wilbur about. Not a single mention of him, and suddenly he’s all you’re talking about.

How could Wilbur have known? You hadn’t even mentioned him on stream. Wilbur always listened so carefully, writing down everyone you mentioned. You had called him attentive once, and he would never want to disappoint you. Maybe if he was attentive enough you would look his way.

Instead, here you are talking about this Jared guy. And Wilbur knows what he has to do. A thought he has been toying with for around 3 years now. Ever since you went to Disneyland together. A trip he paid for, and a trip that was streamed, so everyone could see you were his. You were always his.

That was easily his favourite video.

In the week up to the vacation, Wilbur had done everything he could to learn about cameras so he could help you, and do the most for you. He had even helped you sort through some of the non-streamed videos he filmed too for a YouTube video for you.

Which is where he found the clip of you changing.

The camera had been resting on your hotel bed, the video having a clear Dutch angle, leaving the hotel room slandered. But there you were, right square and centre still. Changing. It takes you a minute to finish before you turn around and pick the camera up again. Mumbling something as you turn it to show off your hotel room, and then the clip cuts to black.

He never told you about it, instead just saving that specific clip on a USB stick. A piece of tech he valued more than his life. Not that his life had ever been worth much in comparison to his.

Wilbur rips his bag open, careful not to make a lot of noise. He removed his clothes, and then the fake bottom. And underneath it reveals small security cameras.

Wilbur has never been more thankful for you being a heavy sleeper and letting him sleep on a mattress on the floor of your bedroom. He quietly sets up two in your bedroom, before moving into the rest of your house. One in your office that has been converted to a streaming room. His own personal angle to your public life.

Two more in the living room, he skips the kitchen and hesitates at the door of your bathroom. For the first time, he hesitates. His hand hovers over the doorknob, the other holding the camera.

“Wilbur?”

You’re standing in the hallway, sleep evident on your face.

“Will why are you making so much noise?”

“No reason darling, go back to bed, just needed some water.”

His breath is stuck in his throat until he hears you close the bedroom door again.

That was the first time he hesitated. And his last. He couldn’t afford it. He couldn’t afford to lose you further.

The rest of the trip passes Wilbur by as you introduce him to Jared. The douchebag himself. The asshole. The guy who dares take away what is Wilbur’s. Even on the ride home. All Wilbur can see is Jared’s image etched into his mind. His god-awful fashion sense. The way everything, he wore around you, just seemed to be a size too small. Nobody wants to see that fuckers’ muscles. Wilbur’s knuckles turn white, as he grips the steering wheel.

Jared has to go.

He’s ruining everything. He’s not part of the dream you told Wilbur you had. Jared has never been part of that. Wilbur was supposed to be part of that. Even if the dream changed through the year. Even if the one you’re living now is the unimaginable future the two of you imagined up at seventeen. But one thing was sure. Jared wasn’t part of that. Wilbur was.

Wilbur easily finds himself a new normal at home. The trip giving him a refreshed sense of hope. A plan in the making. His daily routine now including watching you all hours of the day. Not just your streams any longer. Every single second he can wrench out of those cameras.

And suddenly his friendship seems to improve with you too. Because now he can see when you’re sad and in need of a friend. He reaches out at the perfect time. Abusing your vulnerable state. Because it’s the best to do. It’s for the betterment of your future.

The more Wilbur is there for you, the more he resents Jared. He deserved to be in your bed, not that asshole. He deserves to reap the rewards of his hard labour. He is the one that has always been there because Wilbur has always stayed.

A simple click is all it takes for Wilbur and the item has been placed in a cart. Mere keystrokes and it has been paid. A single click and Wilbur has truly gone insane, as a packet is shipped off. A packet containing a bottle of sleeping pills.

The next time you invite Wilbur down, you barely recognise him as you open the door. Eyebags so deep you’ve never seen before. His entire body slightly twitching, and that manic smile on his lips. Wilbur brushes your concerns off, claiming that’s just what happens in real workplaces. Not that you would know anything about that.

Wilbur hates the feeling of insulting you, but you had barely responded the entire week. You deserved to suffer for a moment. Before he caves and apologises for being rude. That’s the moment you can see the resembles of his normal being as he hangs his shoulders.

Jared comes over that night. Just as Wilbur had planned. And this time he won’t hesitate. He even bought a bigger car for this.

Wilbur offers to mix the drinks, claiming to have learnt a new recipe. Which isn’t a lie, he has learned how to perfect just the right cocktail thick enough that covers the chalky residue of the pills. And sweet enough to make the bitter taste disappear.

He serves them, keeping a watchful eye as the night drags on, and Jared never seems to shut up. But Wilbur can deal with it for one night. Just for one. And then he won’t ever have to worry about Jared again.

He serves another.

And then another drink.

And finally. Finally. You’re starting to get tired. Slowly leaning against Wilbur. And he takes pride in that. Great pride. You didn’t choose to lean against Jared, you’re leaning against Wilbur.

Wilbur sits still until Jared too is starting to fall asleep. Wilbur is ecstatic.

He gets up slowly, gently laying you down, a pillow underneath your face. A blanket over you. He kisses your forehead and smells your hair. Taking in the shampoo scent still lingering.

Then Wilbur gets moving, he has stuff to do. Plans to execute after all.

He does his best to get Jared’s left arm over his shoulders. But their awkward height difference makes it difficult, but he can make it work. It has to work. He only gets one shot.

Wilbur gets the front door open before he realises a fatal flaw in his plan. He has to drag Jared down 3 floors worth of stairs. He realises he can’t do it the way he is now. He has to drag him down by his armpits instead.

It takes him the first flight of stairs to realise Jared shoes are making too much noise. He has to abandon them, Wilbur awkwardly gets Jared leaned against the wall before he removes Jared’s polished black shoes. Wilbur leaves them there, making a mental note to remember them when he comes back.

The rest of the stairs, while difficult and definitely breathtaking for someone who has no muscle strength. He makes it work. Wilbur actually makes it work.

He made it work. It worked. Oh god. It’s working.

Wilbur repositions Jared once more, his arm once again over Wilbur’s shoulders. The night sky greeting him as he steps out of the apartment complex. With great difficulty, Wilbur gets the two of them over to his car, where he throws open the trunk. In the proceed shaking the car, setting off the car alarm. Wilbur is quick to drop Jared as he fumbles after his car keys. It takes him nearly a full minute to turn off the car alarm.

Wilbur curses under his breath.

Annoyed with the time loss. He finally gets the knocked-out Jared into his trunk, and he shuts it again. Just as a front door in the apartment complex opens. A man steps out. He raises a hand to Wilbur, before pulling out a smoke.

Wilbur shuffles on his feet before raising a hand. And then awkwardly gets into his car.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

He has a body in his trunk. Now he just has to get to the harbour. Wilbur starts the car and starts the ride to the harbour a town over.

Half an hour has gone past when Wilbur is pulling the handbrake, and taking the keys out. He’s quick to get out, and even quicker to get to Jared. Wilbur keeps thinking about you. Your smile. Your kindness. Your voice. Your beauty. Your grace. As his hands are securing zip ties around the wrists and ankles of an unconscious man.

He has to go.

Wilbur reminds himself.

A cloth is tied around Jared’s filthy mouth, and then Wilbur is back to dragging him. It’s both easier and harder. Easier before he’s just dragging him across the pebbles and over to the brink of the harbour. Both of his arms are under both of Jared’s.

But it’s harder because if someone sees him it’s going to get difficult to explain. But nobody does. As far as Wilbur is aware.

So a splash is made by a body, and Jared is unceremoniously sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor.

Wilbur takes one more breath of fresh air. Before turning around and getting back into his new car.

He’s quick to arrive at your apartment complex. The man was no longer there. Wilbur goes to grip the front door. It doesn’t bulge.

Oh yeah, it’s locked.

He fishes the copy he made of your house key from his keychain and lets himself into the building he doesn’t live in. An invited guest, that has turned out to be an uninvited one.

He can feel the tiredness setting in his bones, as he ascends the stairs. And the realisation that he just killed someone hasn’t dawned on him yet. Instead, all his muscles are aching, and his eyes barely staying open.

He stumbles into your apartment. Another kiss gets left on your forehead as he goes for your bed. The smell is so nice. It’s so obvious to him this is where you sleep. And he’s soaking in each moment until his eyes are giving out.

His night remaining dreamless, instead, he gets awoken rather rudely around noon. You’ve pulled the comforter off him and told him to get up, so the two of you can spend some timeacting together. and Wilbur happily does that.

Not at all acing like a man who purposely took another person’s life mere hours ago. You rush him to get into his clothes. As you have something planned for rest of the day out of the apartment. You’re talking his ears off as you descend the first flight stairs your personal puppy in tow.

When you stop dead in your tracks. Wilbur nearly stumbles into you.

“Will, is that Jared’s shoes?”

And right there is in fact Jared’s shoes. The pair Wilbur had forgotten all about. The pair he had left unintentionally.

“Are you sure about that? Thought he already left.” Wilbur lies, he may be awkward, but he has gotten pretty good at lying to you through the years.

“Yeah yeah, you’re right. Why would he leave his shoes?”

The question gets left unanswered, and the tension is thick until you get outside, and the sun is shining. It seems it knows too of how good this day is for Wilbur, a dawn of a new era. Where you will finally acknowledge him as the perfect one for you.

The man from the nightstand once again with a smoke and raises his hand to greet Wilbur, once again Wilbur shuffles on his feet before he raises a hand back. You look at him weirdly, and Wilbur shrugs it off.

The rest of the day happening without any mishaps or other incidents. But the shoes just can’t seem to leave your mind, despite how hard Wilbur is trying to distract you.

And then the afternoon passes, and the night, and the car ride, and Wilbur is once again home. And as soon as the door closes. He crumbles down on the floor.

Oh god.

He did it.

He actually fucking did it.

He isn’t useless.

He’s fucking Wilbur, and Wilbur stays in your life. Even when you make such stupid mistakes as falling for another person. There’s only one person for you and that’s him.

You’re actually the first one to call him this time, and the smile never leaves his lips. Even if the call is about Jared. And how worried you are about not having heard from him. Wilbur just tells you; you should have listened to him. Guys on the internet are just like that. And that you deserve better. Someone like him.

You laugh at this and thank him for calming you down.

Wilbur suddenly loves phone calls.

This bliss is perfect for Wilbur you’re talking to him more and more. And he watches, god he watches you. Every step you take in that apartment is filmed logged on his computer.

However, all good things must come to an end, and Wilbur has barely pulled off his tie after work when a group of loud knocks sounds at his door. He isn’t expecting guests.

A group of men in blue uniforms greets him.

“Wilbur Soot, you’re under the arrest for the Murder of Jared Yarrow.”

Wilbur barely registers what’s going on, before he’s in a holding cell. A psych evaluation under his belt. A phone call to his father asking him to help him out.

The days bleed together in the unchanging environment, and suddenly a defender is telling him to plead for insanity.

Then the defender comes back again days later with a court date, and all Wilbur can do is count the seconds.

Time for the first time since arriving slows down when the doors to the court open and Wilbur is lead into the courtroom. And there you are, looking beautiful as ever. Tears and despair clearly written on your face. You look away from him, and it makes him stumble for a moment. A quick look to the other side, confirms his fear. His father is here. Alongside his brothers.

The trial goes over what happened that night, the evidence, the sleeping medication, the car. Everything. Yet even when his sentence is received, even when he is told he won’t see the sun again for a long time. There is only one thing on his mind.

They never found the cameras.

And he just can’t help but smile at that as he’s getting lead away to rot.

Because Wilbur has always stayed by your side, Wilbur always stays. -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[mcheang]

Where did I go wrong?

Prompt I got from @amethyst-geek : Mrs. Rossi is under the impression that the various Kubdel and Cesaire akumas r still running around (and that the girl Pharaoh decided to sacrifice, successfully so according to Lila, is a seperate person from Lady Wifi) when she runs into Mr Kubdel and Marlena Cesare (who ran into each at the store by chance).

When Mrs Rossi does have some free time, she enjoys visiting tourist spots with her daughter. In order to prevent her mother from meeting her class, Lila lies that akumas such as the Pharoah and Lady Wifi are still haunting the Louvre and Le Grand Paris. So they instead visit places like the Eiffel Tower or the Arc de Triomphe.

That doesn’t mean Mrs Rossi is blind to the advertisements of why you should eat the dishes by Chef Cesaire or visit Mr Kubdel’s latest exhibit.

When the class bake sale is coming up, the students had agreed to bake together and share costs. And Mr Kubdel and Mrs Cesaire have the same favorite store that specialises in baking ingredients.

Meeting each other, they know they are probably buying the same things and decide to shop together. Besides, they can probably make use of the buy 2 get 1 free discounts or such like.

Mrs Rossi was also there (not for the bake sale. Like Lila would wanna help Marinette bake. But to make some old family recipes that required certain ingredients you can’t normally find in a supermarket)

So when Mrs Rossi’s trolley bumped into theirs, she immediately recognized curator and chef.

Mrs Rossi: oh hello. You’re Mr Kubdel the museum curator, and Chef Cesaire from Le Grand Paris, yes?

The two adults exchange glances. “Yes, that’s us. And you are?”

Mrs Rossi exclaimed. “Oh nobody. Well, I mean, I had come here from Italy and I was looking forward to visiting your museum and your restaurant. But before i could, I had learned about the akuma attacks. I’m so sorry.”

Mr Kubdel sighed. “Don’t worry about it. That’s what Ladybug’s miraculous cure is for. I shudder to think of the cost of damaged artefacts.”

Mrs Cesaire: tell me about it. My daughter actually attacked the daughter of my boss just because she was following a scoop. Never mind following her suspension for invading the girl’s privacy. I’m lucky to still have my job!

Mr Kubdel: I know how you feel. Jalil is my son, but I don’t know where he gets his stories from. And to think he wanted to break rules for a crazy theory of his.

Mrs Cesaire: to think, all this could have been avoided if our children were more practical. I mean, how could she think blond Chloé the bully could be raven-haired Ladybug?

Mr Kubdel: or if my son had bothered to make a credible history team and submit a proper proposal to the board, maybe our reputations as parents wouldn’t be so bad.

Mrs Rossi: I’m sorry. But the akumas are your children? I didn’t know. I apologize for my words.

Chef Cesaire waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s fine. These days, you’re bound to meet someone related to an akuma incident at least once a week.”

Mrs Rossi: I’m amazed at your composure, Chef. I would have thought you would be more devastated about your daughter’s akumatization and her absences from home.

Chef: I try to stop her from running out to film the akumas, but somehow she just evades my grasp, usine twins as a distraction.

Mr Kubdel: at least, Jalil has a blog of his own to spout out his stories. Better he find listeners there than in my museum.

Mrs Rossi: the Pharoah has a blog?

Now both adults were frowning at her.

Mr Kubdel: I know you’re not from here, but to call my boy by his akuma name is really rather rude. It’s like calling the reformed Pamela Isley Poison Ivy, like you can’t forgive her crimes and give her a second chance.

Mrs Rossi: isn’t he still akumatized?

At that, both adults brought out their phones. “There’s nothing about a new akuma on the app. When did you hear about his akumatization?”

Mrs Rossi was baffled by their response. “Months ago, by my daughter Lila.”

Mr Kubdel laughed. “Oh, you had me worried there. Maybe you need to read up on your akumas more because akumatizations last less than a day. Jalil has only been an akuma for 3 hours at most.”

Mrs Rossi didn’t understand. That can’t be right.

Meanwhile, Chef Cesaire looked at her Italian feature and considered her words. “By any chance, is your daughter Lila Rossi?”

Startled, Mrs Rossi shifted her focus to the Chef. “Yes. How did you know that?”

Raising an eyebrow at her ignorance, Chef Cesaire replied, “Because she’s been helping me babysit my twin daughters whenever Marinette can’t make it.”

Mrs Rossi took a step back. None of this was making sense. Lila said she was friends with Alya, but if Alya was Lady Wifi, she can’t have been akumatized for months! And Marinette was the school bully, how could Alya be friends with her?

Or, her mind whispered, how can you believe anything your daughter says?

Unable to think of a proper response, Mrs Rossi politely excused herself. “Pardon moi, I need a moment to reflect on what you have just told me.”

The other two politely rolled their trolleys on, silently agreeing that while they need to be stricter with their children, at least they knew what was wrong.

Mrs Rossi found an abandoned aisle and quickly leaned against the shelf, her legs weak.

What was the truth?

Shakily, she brought out her phone and did a quick research on Lady Wifi. Yup, defeated at night and only reappeared for Puppeteer.

Pharaoh? Defeated during the day.

Akuma plague at Dupont? While it is a hotspot, there hasn’t really been a mass akuma gathering concentrated there alone.

Akumatized principal? Defeated at night.

Curious now, Mrs Rossi typed out “akuma” and “Lila”

The first instance was Volpina for unknown reasons. The second instance was Chameleon, again the reasons were unknown.

What Mrs Rossi did know was that Lila had abused her trust. But no more!

That night, 3 parents were going to have a discussion about doing research with their kids.

1. first, Marlena asked what was Lila’s relationship with her mother like? Alya said Mrs Rossi spoils her daughter and takes her on incredible trips. But Lila is so modest and generous, that she was telling her celebrity friends about her classmates. Marlena found that hard to believe when Mrs Rossi didn’t even know who Alya was, or enough about her anyway. Not to mention she doubted Mrs Rossi would be close friends with someone like Prince Ali when she is so oblivious about the akuma situation. Before Alya can go call Lila for an explanation, Marlena sighs and asks her daughter to try doing research before rushing out like always. Try thinking of the bigger picture for once.

2. Mr Kubdel asked Alix about Lila. Alix said she could give Jalil a run for his money in a storytelling competition. Mr Kubdel: she was lying? Alix: hard to say, she always has an excuse ready. But she doesn’t really give legit proof. Mr Kubdel suggests she try doing research so she can tell fact from fiction. And maybe have Jalil join in, if only so he will stop insisting that Ra is really Ladybug. Show undeniable proof before you talk ears off.

3. Mrs Rossi confronted her daughter, having read the news and called her principal. Lila gulps and tries to claim that her principal is an akuma who messes with online information. “I doubt that since you are probably the only one who would say this! You are grounded, young lady! And while you are grounded, you can try finding a new job or fill out your school application forms because you have been expelled for framing a student!” After this, Mrs Rossi decided to keep a much closer eye on her own daughter so as to find out where else she had gone wrong! She actually bugged every room in their house and considering how Lila had nowhere to go for the moment, she was watched 24/7. To prevent Lila from getting suspicious, Mrs Rossi gave regular calls to check in on her daughter. She would never accuse Lila of lying immediately after being told a lie, but would save it all up for later with further punishment. Lila decided to quit talking and start behaving after Mrs Rossi warned her that one more strike, and she would be sent to military school and disinherited.

Miss Bustier would have tried to give Lila some dignity by hiding the real reason for her absence. But Alya and Alix told the truth.

And so maybe Alya, Jalil and Mrs Rossi learned a thing or two about pausing before taking a leap of faith. That maybe you should just gather some proof so the words can be believed more easily.

[writinandcrying]

Should I stay or should I go?

tmnt x reader - Headcanon - PART 1

Link for part 2 - Donnie and Mikey

Pov: for external reasons ( your wifi wasn’t working, renovations in your apartment, hell, the whole building, pipe broke down you have no water for 3 days straight) you had to stay at the lair, it was all fun and games for the first 3-4 days, but routine had caught up with you and the turtles, you have never been that close to them for such long time. Which turtle wants you stay longer, and which one wants their space back?

not all turtles have a crush on y/n ( like, at the same time), but depending on which turtle you are reading, they have the crush on y/n (does that make sense? I hope it does )

Leo

🎏He wants you to stay

🎏( you thought I was going to say leave huh?)

🎏At first when you asked if you could stay some days at the lair he was a little bit... apprehensive? Not anxious per say, but definitely questionated if you would be comfortable, if your routines wouldn’t crash, could be keep up his “host” facade for that long?

🎏He was surprised how quiet you were, I mean, whenever everyone were at table for dinner or at game night you joked along, but during “normal activities” work, reading, studying, just, going through your day, you were so quiet. Did you not feel welcomed at the lair?

🎏Truth to be told you didn’t want to feel like a burden or a problem to them, you were already a new person in their space, so you just kept it to yourself. Took turns in who to ask something for if you need it, ( mostly tried to do stuff on your on) so no one would feel overwhelmed

🎏 Leo doesn’t want you to feel like you don’t belong, so whenever he makes tea, or it’s medication time at the dojo, he asks if you would like to join him, at first you thought it was just out of politeness, (and at first it was) but he insists so much that you give in, at some point you both get used to doing stuff together and like each others company

🎏 He loves his brothers? Yes. Loves spending time with them? Of course! But there are a certain amount of things that he would rather do with you, he feels... more comfortable doing so. Doesn’t feel pressured to put up the leader facade, to be serious all the time. he could be him with you, and there wasn’t many times that he could do that ( with master splinter he could, not all times tho. Lately there was so many foot activity going on that master wanted him to stay focused in almost all of their conversations ) so your hangouts were blissful to him

🎏he doesn’t even realize 4-5 days have gone by, when you finally get a call from your landlord that you can go back, he really wants to ask you to stay some more, not only he felt at ease talking to you, but he never slept better those last few days, for him, knowing that you were “under the same roof”, you were protected inside the lair, made him sleep so profoundly, it gave a sense of security he didn’t knew he craved.

🎏 he doesn’t have the heart to ask you tho. asking you to stay seems selfish of him, you have a life, you belong with the other humans out there, this last days with you made him feel so normal, but with that call it was like a bucket out cold icy water runing on this carapace, you both don’t belong in the same world, it was foolish to think anything like.. a relationship, could work between the both of you

🎏Leo gets so caught up in this intrusive ideas, he closes up. At first you think you did something wrong, everything was just fine minutes ago, but then maybe- just maybe, all of the tea you shared together, the shows you watched and the late night talks, was he just being nice? He didn’t want to spend all of that time with you, did he?

🎏 for the first time since you got in the lair, you felt bothersome, you pack your stuff fast, you don’t want to be a burden no longer, you say your thanks to his brothers and master splinter, apologize for any inconveniences, then when it comes to Leo, the air becomes heavier, it harder to read him, your throat tightens, you don’t know if you should thank or say sorry to him.

🎏 you tell him both

🎏 you walk alone through the sewer, moments before you got asked if you needed to be scorted, “it’s no problem” he assured, Leo was smiling but that were something in his eyes that made you question his words, you made your way as you declined his offer. It was easy to Make yourself believe it was the god awful smell that it was making your eyes water with tears

🎏 for the best days, Leo trained for hours, was harsher on patrol, at home, got more quiet than what he normally was. Everyone noticed, no one commented on it. He missed you, He wanted to you to back so bad, he wanted the late night talks, he endless laughter going on between both of you, but in no way he would tell you so.

🎏 if he only knew you wanted the same as him

Raph

🧨 he wants you to stay, but he also wants you to go... you should go

🧨 don’t get me wrong, he loves the first 2 days you are there, my god. He had never felt so powerful at his own home

🧨Raph LOVES spending time with you, you make him feel like the funniest guy around, likes working out with you, or you just admiring him while he works out, wink wink ;)

🧨 has a lot of pent up tension from watching you workout, or just simply having you watch him train and such ( he is a horny man don’t look at me) and he might or might not think of you a lot... in the shower.. in his bed.. in the middle of the night... He lives for the thrill of you being so near him but would actually DIE if you caught him- Well, u know. Anyways, he lives for your attention

🧨 he lives for it until he noticed how eco-y the lair was, and oh boy he needs to fart. Really Bad.

🧨the reason why raph wants you to go is because he needs to fart? Yes. let me tell you why:

🧨Raph cares a lot about his exterior, specially with his crush is around. in his mind he has a reputation to maintain with you, so yeah, he does NOT want to embarrass himself in front of you, plus he needs to work on mikeys sweater and he hasn’t shown to you that he actually knits ( and it’s very self conscious to do so, will you think less of him for having such a... homey- Grandma material, Hobby?)

🧨 so yes; Raph would rather die than to let it rip next to you, but he wants to so bad oh my GOOOOOOD ( mind you this is crush state, if it was a s/o of long time you will need to deal with the monstrosity that comes from his behind, sorry), when he realizes that farts arent the only thing that needs to be let out he lowkey starts to panic ( no, he did not take a dump while you were there, is raph one of those ppl who has a shy 🍑 when there’s new people are around? That cannot go outside his own home? You bet he is)

🧨he does feel more at peace knowing you are safe and sound while sleeping at the lair like Leo, but when you get a call that you can go back to your home, he is upset... and relieved( won’t show the latter until you are out at the door and he’s running to the bathroom)

🧨 will miss you, your sassy remarks, your ass, your company in general, but will only notice those feelings after reclaiming his space back

🧨Mind you when he left his mighty trone, shit was so clogged, Donnie wanted to kill him ( because obviously he is the one to fix everything around the lair)

🧨for his disdain, Mikey had revived a long lost forgotten nickname from old days: Shit blaster 3000

🧨 (Mikey had to hide for 2 hours from Raph trying to beat up his ass from bringing that name back - which stuck for 2 days, mainly cuz Donnie was so pissed at him he wouldn’t let it go of the name)

🧨 but hey, after that he asked you to stay over a lot more! Slowly he started to show more and more about him, ( the relief he felt when he finally showed you his knit projects and you loved it, he was holding up his breath the whole time) he also loves how more comfortable you got after staying those days with him them, so yeah, feel free to stay over a lot more!

🧨just, don’t stay for long periods of time

🧨 (for donnies sake)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I don’t know how I went from soft to sad Leo to sassy and fart ass raph in one Headcanon? Raph Headcanons are always so serious or u know ~sexy~, but honestly he has such comedy potential, anyways- I hope you guys enjoyed it sbfbgjkfkdks, tell me if you want me to do Donnie and mikeys!

[luvteez]

bassists do it deeper

pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k

note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 

A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)

That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.

You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.

“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”

“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”

“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”

“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”

Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”

And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.

“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”

The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”

You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)

The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”

You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.

“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.

“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”

“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.

“Talent. Believe it or not.”

“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.

Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”

“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.

“Listen up, you piec—“ 

“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.

“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.

“I’m not that short—!”

“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”

World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.

“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.

Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”

A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.

“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.

Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”

And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.

“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.

Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.

When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.

That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.

But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.

As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:

Yunho is good.

While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.

He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?

Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.

It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.

You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.

exhibitionism

getting off in public

best crowded places to have sex and get away with it

You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.

When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.

Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.

You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.

This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.

To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.

This is absolutely bonkers. But:

You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.

Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.

Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.

“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.

San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”

“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”

“A cricket? Are you serious?”

“I’m tired, okay!”

“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”

“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”

“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”

In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).

Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.

“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.

“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”

“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”

His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”

There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.

You can’t, but your proof will do the job.

“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”

Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.

Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.

“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.

You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.

“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.

“As long as nobody notices—”

“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”

“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.

“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”

“Just get to it.”

The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”

Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.

“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”

“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”

“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”

That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.

“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“You could never, sub.”

Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.

Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.

“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.

Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 

When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.

“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.

“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.

“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.

“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”

You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.

Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.

“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.

You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.

“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”

“So you have a size kink.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”

“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.

He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.

“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”

The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.

“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.

“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”

“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”

You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.

“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.

“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.

If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.

You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:

“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”

“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”

He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.

“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”

You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.

The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.

“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.

“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”

“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.

It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.

“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”

“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”

Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?

“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.

Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.

“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.

Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.

“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”

Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.

It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.

As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.

You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”

“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”

He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”

“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.

“He’ll still kill you.”

“I appreciate the concern, honey.”

“Just scram back to practice.”

“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”

“I can do it myself.”

“Oh really?”

“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”

Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.

“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.

Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”

“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”

[miraculouswolf99]

Somebody Fix This School Already

Another of my one-shots for Miraculous Ladybug. Includes more of my original characters that can learned about from my post Originals. Please support me by becoming a patreon of me. Thank you.

*****

"Can one of you explain to us how this place is even considered a school," Mason asked the class in front of him.

The group of visiting Greek students had been talking during lunch the day after the Zombizou apocalypse. Mason, Lena, and Apollo had been sent to Ms.Mendeleiev's class while Lyon and Vallia were in Ms.Bustier's. So the other three did not know how one of the sweetest teachers in the school had been akumatized.

To say that the three were shocked by what the twins had told them would be one hell of an understatement. So Mason asked the very first question that came to mind to the nearby class that his friends belong to.

"What do you mean, dude," Nino asked, confused.

Ms.Bustier's class was all sitting together that day, except for Chloe and her minion... I mean Sabrina.

None of the class really knew the other three very well. They only really heard some passing things from Aurore and Mirelle. Nathaniel had been told that the three were nice by Marc when he asked him.

"Well, from what we know, Marinette, Adrien, Lyon, and Vallia are the only ones not to be akumatized in your whole class," Apollo says. "The fact that your teacher has now been the victim to one of those moths makes it more of an anomaly."

"Butterflies, not moths," Marinette corrected.

"We're still not convinced about that," Apollo said. "But that may be more because Beautifly is a hero from our own country so butterflies do not come to mind when evil is being spoken of."

"Anyway, there just has been a lot of akumas from this school, and your class in particular," Lena says. "Even your principle has been akumatized."

They did have a point. Their class, alone, had Bubbler, Stone Heart, Lady Wifi, Antibug, Princess Frangrance, Vanisher, Refleckta, Horrificator, Dark Cupid, Gamer, Robostus, Evillustrator, Timebreaker, Volpina if Lila ever comes back, and now Zombizou. Even outside the class but still in school was Dark Owl, Stormy Weather, Syren, Riposte, Magician of Misfortune, and even the school fencing instructor as Darkblade.

Marinette and Adrien were probably the most aware of what the Greeks were talking about. Marinette actually kept a list of all akumas on her computer to keep track of them all.

"Even if Ladybug always fixes the damage done to the school, that doesn't always stop what has caused the akuma in the first place," Vallia said.

"I don't get it," Kim was confused.

"We figure that Ms.Bustier was not the type to really feel negative emotions, especially after what she tried yesterday," Lyon said. "I mean, Chloe vandalizes Marinette's gift for our teacher out of pure spite and she tries to give Chloe credit and say that she will think of both girls when she looks at it."

"Say what," Lena did not know about that. "Why would anyone on Demeter's green earth try anything like that?"

"It's Chloe being Chloe," Alix huffed. "Half the city has basically been akumatized because of her."

"From what I know, Nino and Max are the only ones in class that haven't been akumatized because of her," Lyon says. "That is excluding myself, Vallia, Marinette, and Adrien as we have not been akumatized at all."

"After how this guy has been basically feeding off of negative emotions for so long, that is an impressive feat to have never been a victim of it before," Apollo said.

"Hold on one second," Lena halted everyone. "I have one question. How long has Bourgeois been acting like a... um..."

"Spoiled brat," Marinette offered.

"Nightmare," Alya suggested.

"The biggest bully in Paris," surprisingly offered by Juleka of all people.

"All of the above," Adrien shrugged.

The class looked at him weirdly. Whenever anyone has anything bad to say about Chloe, he is usually the first one to defend her after Sabrina.

"I guess even the humanized sunshine has his limits," Mason snickered.

Adrien sighed. "More like Lyon really knows how to harshly, but necessarily, give someone a very needed slap of reality."

"Parakaló," Lyon said. Translation: You're welcome.

"What did you say to him," Marinette asked the icy teen. "Adrien can be as stubborn as Alya, and that says something."

"Hey," the Ladyblogger protested, making the class laugh.

"I basically force-fed him a few facts," Lyon crossed his arms, as stone-cold as ever. "Mainly how this girl enjoys making the people around her miserable and is always the first person to put them down."

"You probably needed more than that to talk some sense into him," Nino said. "No offense, dude."

"None taken," Adrien shrugged.

"Trust me when I say that when my brother verbally slaps someone, he doesn't hold back," Vallia said.

"It was just a few innocent questions to those like Marinette, Nino, and Kim that got my wheels turning," Lyon says. "They all said the same thing when it came to Chloe. They all shared a class with her for ten years and the girl has been a bully for all ten of them. Did she even stop when there is a psycho out there taking advantage of negative emotions? No, she did not. All for one simple reason. She. Does. Not. Care."

The class was thinking the same thing. That when Lyon gets icy, he really gets icy. It was one thing when Marinette and Alya would stand up to her, but Lyon took the cake when it came to verbal beatdowns. Vallia was not kidding.

"Do any of us even need to bring up the fire alarm incident," Lena crossed her arms.

That got groans out of everyone, even Lyon and Vallia. When Chloe had been the only one not to be punished that day, Mason and Apollo had to basically force Lyon to be cleaning on the second floor so that he would not shoot the brat with an arrow.

The Greeks were half-tempted to allow him. Especially since it was obvious to everyone that she had been the one to make the false call in the first place yet only got out of the punishment because her father is the mayor. The Greeks were sure that anything he does to make his daughter happy and so unpunishable would be considered abuse of power if anyone bothered to look.

"Has any teacher ever tried to actually punish her," Mason asked.

"Actually punish Chloe," Alix snorted. "It is more likely for Ladybug and Cat Noir to willingly surrender to Hawkbutt than for Chloe to ever be punished."

"I think most of us see akumas going after her as the punishments that she deserves," Alya said. "I certainly went after her when I was Lady Wifi from what Marinette told me."

"When I saw her being chased by a giant hairdryer, I thought that my birthday and Christmas had somehow both had been happening at that moment," Marinette giggled.

"I may have been the Evillustrator, doing that, but you're welcome anyway," Nathaniel said.

"When Sabrina was tormenting Chloe as Vanisher, that was certainly some karma coming back to haunt her," Ivan commented.

"From what Ali had told me, I managed to make her pretty repulsive when I was Princess Frangrance," Rose added.

"I would have paid so much money to see that," Kim laughed. "Especially after she posted that humiliating picture of me that got me akumatized as Dark Cupid."

"I wish I could have remembered Chloe's face when I made her look like me when I was Reflekta," Juleka said.

Each of the students that had been akumatized by the brat all shared their own similar thoughts. That they all wished that they could remember getting her back while they were villains, even if they didn't want to remember anything else.

"Hold it," Lena halted the class, silencing them. "How many of these akumanizations happened while on school grounds?"

Alya, Ivan, Juleka, Nathaniel, and Mylene all raised their hands. All of their torments by Chloe had happened at school, only Mylene's happening after hours though.

"So even with all of you being akumatized because of her bullying or abusing her father's mayoral status, no one in this school did a thing," Mason clenched his fists.

The silence was very telling.

"Unbelievable," Vallia pinched the bridge of her nose. "If anyone behaved like that at our school back home, they'd be expelled faster than you could say Olympus."

"Athena is most ashamed of them," Lyon says. "She is not the goddess of wisdom for nothing."

"It is not like we can do anything about it," Max wiped his glasses. "After ten years of Chloe getting away with her behavior and attitude, the odds of her changing or the school staff doing anything about her is about a quarter of a billion to one."

"Leaving the math to Max, I do still agree with him," Marinette said. "Chloe has always been like this and the teachers have always allowed it. They think that just because her mom left her and her father that she gets to act as horrible as she does with no risk of punishments or any sort of consequence."

"Why not do something about it," Lena asks. "Force a much-needed change."

"What could we do," Alya did not have a plan for once. "They never listen to us and we're just a bunch of teenagers."

"The best thing about being teenagers is that we grew up during this time," Apollo says. "So that means we know what needs to be fixed. The reason why those our age do better than their predecessors is that we have seen the problems they never bothered to fix because they are so set in their ways."

"There is a reason why people say that children are our future," Mason smirked. "That isn't some insane prediction that children will one day rebel and take over the world, you know."

"We... uh... we could all demand to be transferred to another class," Adrien suggested. "Like Ms.Mendeleiev's or something?"

"Would that even work," Mylene wondered out loud.

"If anything, so many students wanting out of the same class at the same time for the same reason should raise some red flags," Lyon stated. "Does this school have a Board of Directors or not?"

Marinette actually had a better idea. She pulled out her phone. There was a look on her face that even Alya was was a little scared of.

Fate chose that moment for lunch to come to an end. The bell rang for everyone to pack up and get back to their classes. Lena, Mason, and Apollo gave the class a look.

"Don't let adults make you think you have no power," Apollo advised. "Everyone has the right to stand up to a bully and to those that won't punish her."

With that, the three of them left, joining Kagami, Marc, and Ondine on their way back to class. Aurore and Mirelle were waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

"You, Greeks, don't hold back, do you," Alya rhetorically says.

"Alya," Marinette scolded.

"Just be happy that none of us are from Sparta," Lyon stated.

"So, what do you guys think," Alix asks them all. "Class or principle's office?"

They all got up as they put their things back in their bags. They were all looking between the two rooms.

"Now or never, right, dudes," Nino said.

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we have had enough of Chloe Bourgeois to last all of our lifetimes," Marinette says.

The rest of the class did nothing but nod in agreement.

*****

"You all want to WHAT," Principle Damocles yelled.

"Did you not hear us," Vallia crossed her arms. "We want to transfer out of Ms.Bustier's class."

Vallia proved that Gardens did not hold back even when dealing with authority figures. It was a bit of a shock that it was the Flower Princess saying things like that and not her Ice Prince of a twin brother. Not that Lyon's silence and ice-cold stare was anything less scary. If anything, it only terrified them more.

Ms.Bustier had also been called in when what they wanted had been made perfectly clear. Chloe and Sabrina were behind her, as the teachers did not want to leave the two students alone in the classroom.

"A...All of you," Damocles stuttered, the students nodding. "It...It isn't possible. There isn't enough room in the other classes for all of you, even separated."

"Then make room," Lyon stated as if it was that simple.

"Why would all of you even want to leave," Ms.Bustier asked.

Their teacher, soon to be former-teacher, did look hurt. The students felt guilty over being the cause of her feelings being hurt, but it was also her own fault for never punishing Chloe.

"I think it's quite obvious," Marinette says. "We want to be as far away from Chloe Bourgeois as possible. We are sick and tired of her bullying us and getting away with it."

The rest of the class all voiced their agreement with the bluenette. To say that the two adults were shocked would be one hell of an understatement.

"Just because you are all jealous that you aren't as rich or beautiful as me..." Chloe started.

"SHUT UP, CHLOE," they all yelled at her.

"You can't talk to me like that," Chloe took out her hone with a huff. "I'm calling Daddy to stop you all from being mean to me."

"Call him all you want, we don't care anymore," Nino yelled, shocking the class as he had never yelled at anyone before.

"You have been destroying our work, bullying, and insulting us for ten years and we are no longer just gonna lie down and take it," Nathaniel sternly stated.

"Destroying work," Damocles was confused.

"How have you not noticed," Marinette snapped. "What about last month when Chloe destroyed the children's book that Alya was working on about Ladybug so she could read it to her sisters. Or a few months ago when Chloe dumped all that red paint on a dress I was designing in the art room."

"Well..." Damocles tried, but Marinette was not done.

"What about last year when Chloe ripped apart one of Nathaniel's sketchbooks," Marinette continued her rant. "Or that same year when she stole, and then snapped, a CD that Nino made of his DJ music. Or two years ago when she stuck a bunch of Juleka's and Rose's pictures in a bucket of paint."

"When I first heard about her doing that, I started keeping all my spray paints in a locked box that's in my locker," Alix crossed her arms.

"Which I saw Chloe try and break into more than once but you refused to do anything about it even when I had pictures and videos of her doing it," Kim glared at the authority figures.

"She tried what," Alix yelled. "And you didn't tell me!"

"Hey, even with proof, they didn't punish the brat," Kim responded. "You punching her would not have helped, even though she would have deserved it."

"Chloe would NOT have deserved it," Sabrina defended her 'friend.'

"She would have deserved that and so much more," Alya glared at the minion. "The rest of us see akumas going after her as karma coming to bite her in the butt."

"She's worse than Hawkmoth," Alix said for the second time in two days.

"She's caused so many akumas that you can almost call her Hawkmoth's sidekick," Ivan says.

"The fact that no one in this school seems to care about her victims speaks volumes about the staff," Lyon said. "There were a lot of spoiled brats back home, but at least our teachers and headmaster punished them when the punishment was deserved."

"After all this, Chloe should have been expelled a long time ago," Vallia put a hand on her hip. "Just because her victims don't remember what got them akumatized doesn't mean that the act did not happen at all."

"She even effects what other people think about those that hang around her," Adrien finally spoke up.

"Adrikins..." Chloe tried.

"No, you are not going to steamroll me this time, Chloe," Adrien actually glared at her. "I spent so much time defending you to everyone, but you just used that to hang off me no matter how clear it was that it made me uncomfortable. People already had bad opinions about me before they even met me because you were my childhood friend. They thought I'd be like you. Marinette did when she saw me messing with that gum on our first day of school."

The mentioned bluenette blushed, remembering that she did think he was a spoiled brat like Chloe when she saw that.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly.

"No need to apologize, Mari," Adrien says. "But that doesn't mean Chloe's attitude did not almost keep me from gaining friends. I've tried to get her to change for years, but she seems to only get worse. Every day she bullies, insults, and torments everyone around her and all we get told is that we need to be the bigger person or that there is nothing you can do. There is EVERYTHING you can do. Give her detention, lower her grades when she forces other people to do her work, scold her when she insults someone, act like you are TEACHERS!"

By the end of Adrien's rant, everyone was staring at him like he had suddenly grown two more heads. This was Adrien Agreste, who people have called the Sunshine of Paris. He hasn't talked to anyone like that since... he's never talked to anyone like that.

"What Chloe does to Adrien can basically be considered harassment," Lyon said. "I had a girl once try what Chloe is doing to Adrien. One phone call later and she was slapped with both a lawsuit for harassment and a restraining order before she could say Olympus."

"The look on her face when our lawyer handed her those papers was worth more than an entire family's jewel collection," Vallia giggled.

"Maybe not worth that much," Lyon says, making his sister roll her eyes.

"The point is, we are putting our feet down," Kim said. "If you won't punish Chloe, then we don't want to be in the same class as her."

"She has already been the cause of all our akumazations, other than myself and Nino's," Max pushed up his glasses. "Taking in my calculations of Marinette, Adrien, Lyon, and Vallia never being akumatized, the result of Chloe being the cause of any of us being akumatized again is roughly ninety-nine point nine-nine percent."

"How does he do that without a calculator," Vallia whispered to Rose. "Or a supercomputer?"

"We have no idea," the sweet blond whispered back.

"Have I ever mentioned I hate math," Vallia shook her head. "I'll always prefer geology to geography."

"You just need to forgive Chloe," Ms.Bustier tries. "Set an example for her to follow."

"I can let the anger go but I will never forgive Chloé Bourgeois," Marinette said. "We shouldn't be held accountable for the stuff Chloé pulls because we have to be good role models. You've only been our teacher for four years but Chloé and I have been together for ten years. She's been like this for a decade and nothing has ever changed."

"It's because of people like you," Adrien says. "Adults like you who look at Chloé and think her mother leaving her is enough of an excuse to act like a horrible person. You're better than the people who just want to be on her dad's good side, but not by much. You keep giving her second chances when she's already gotten long past the point of no return. You're enabling her behavior instead of punishing her even when she's been bullying everyone for years. Even I know that and I only started public school this year."

"Now, I wouldn't say bullying," Mme. Bustier says, trying for a smile. "That's a bit too far."

"She's been the biggest bully in the entire school," Alya says, arms folded, eyes firm. "We told you how she destroyed Nathaniel, Juleka, Nino, Marinette's, and my work several times. She's vandalized everyone's work. She's insulted and personally attacked every person in class too many times to count. There's always evidence and several witnesses every single time."

"But what have you done? Nothing," Nino took his turn to rant. "You've never once stepped in because you coddle her and think she'll eventually change even though she's proven she is never going to change . And do you want to know why? Because of stuff like this. Chloé vandalized the purse Marinette made you out of pure spite yet you had the nerve to try and give her credit for it."

"You want us to fix Chloé when you should be doing that yourself," Marinette took the baton. "Instead of doing something a responsible teacher would. Like, suggest a counselor work with her, talk to her dad, or detentions when she acts like a horrible person. You throw the people who care and respect you under the bus. Beyond preaching about love and trust, you do nothing to help us deal with Chloe. Chloe doesn't respect anyone but herself."

"The akuma that turned you into Zombizou was only even here because it was most likely going after Marinette," Lyon was not happy when he figured that out. "We can add nearly getting the human embodiment of a cinnamon bun akumatized to her already very long list of bad things she's done."

"We are the victims of Chloé Bourgeois's bullying and you expect us to understand and excuse her behavior when she hurts us," Marinette continued. "But you will never think about it from our perspective and never when this is reversed. We're sorry, Ms.Bustier, but we don't want to be a part of a class with a teacher who has no respect for us and continues to let a bully hurt every single one of us."

Silence washed over the room after they were all finished. They were all just so done with the brat of Paris.

"Now that you have all gotten that off your chests, I find that it is time you all go back to class," Damocles tells them.

There were about five seconds of silence for the students to process what their principle tried to just make them do. They were about to blow their tops and start yelling and saying that he had lost his mind if he thought that just because they said all that means that they want to get away from Chloe any less than before.

But Marinette's mother, Sabine, came walking in. The look on her face and the way she simply sat down in the visitor's chair like she was supposed to be there in the first place was a little terrifying.

"You, kids, should go and wait in Ms.Bustier's classroom," she told them in a sweet voice that brought chills down their spines. "Your principal, teacher, and I have much to discuss."

They did as she said, everyone quickly leaving the office.

Seeing her mother like that made Marinette remember a time a few years ago when she was told about the Chinese zodiac. Her mother had told her that she, herself, had been born in the years of the tiger. Marinette never truly believed that until now.

"Marinette, your mother is awesome," Alya cheered. "How did she even know to come?"

"At that exact moment, too," Nino says. "That was perfect timing if I have ever seen it."

Marinette smirked as she held up her phone, that she had brought put earlier.

"My parents were listening the entire time we were in there," she snickered. "I figured that Principal Damocles wouldn't listen to us, so I brought out the big guns."

"After seeing your mother's wicked skills with a baking slab during that one time someone tried to break into the bakery last month, I do not doubt that," Vallia giggled.

Marinette slightly shivered as she remembered the beatdown that her mother delivered against a man that tried to rob their bakery. He had arrived just after closing time after nearly a week straight of having a line out the door after the debut of Marinette's Ladybug and Cat Noir baked goods line.

The robber thought that after such a long time of good days, they would have a lot of money lying around. While they did, he had no idea of her mother's past of being very well trained in the martial arts. She grabbed the nearest thing to her, a baking slab used mostly by pizza makers to put pizzas in their ovens, and he was a bloody mess on the floor by the time the cops came.

When Marinette put her phone away, the rest of the class seemed to catch on to her actions and decided to add their own pressure to the principal.

Alya whipped out her phone with a speed that only all of her blogging would have given her. Mylene was very theatrical with her phone call, doing a lot of talking with her hands as her arms waved around as she spoke. Rose and Nino were also quite enthusiastic with their phone calls, not that anything less was expected out of them. Ivan, Juleka, Nathaniel, and Max were a lot quieter when they made their calls. Kim and Alix, of course, were basically yelling into their phones.

When Marinette looked at the twins and Adrien, their phones were not out. It made sense with the twins, having told them that their dad, who came with them, did not speak any French. He was usually very confused whenever they went grocery shopping and one of the twins always had to come with him as a translator. With Adrien, with his very absentee father and non-family bodyguard and assistant/manager, he had no one to call for something like this.

"If you want, I could drag your father here by his hair," Lyon says to the blond. "Or threaten him with an arrow to get him here."

"Lyon, as much as I would appreciate that, both of those things are illegal," Adrien sighed, but Marinette could tell that he was tempted.

"Hasn't stopped me from threatening Chloe with my bow before," the Greek boy smirked. "And that was only when I had a very long breadstick notched in it, not even an actual arrow."

"As the daughter of a baker, I can tell you just how dangerous a stale piece of bread is," Marinette giggled.

One by one, other parents and guardians of their classmates came running or walking into the school.

Otis and Marlena Césaire were the first ones there. Otis was too angry to greet the kids, but Marlena happily gave her daughter a basket of food to give out before both parents vanished behind closed doors. Fred Haprèle, easily recognized from his movie roles, tipped his signature hat to the class before entering the office. Claudie Kanté was next to arrive, giving her son a hug before vanishing behind closed doors. Mr. Kubdel arrived with Jalil, both men looking angry as they passed the class, but Alix was given a thumbs up from her brother.

Mr.LêChiến, a military man, was very intimidating as he walked by after giving his son a pat on the back. It was very easy to see where Kim got his strength from. The same could be said for Ivan as Mr. and Mrs.Bruel greeted their son, as both parents could be compared to WWE superstars. Rose's mother, a keen gardener, was as bubbly and kind looking as her daughter and it was easy to see where Rose got her love of pink from. Mrs.Lahiff did some motherly things to her son after she arrived, also telling Marinette and Alya that they were welcome anytime before she too went into the office.

Madam Kurtzberg, Nathaniel's grandmother, was last to arrive with Captain Couffaine. Luka, having come with his and Juleka's mom, helped the elderly woman up the stairs.

"Rise and rebel, land lovers," Captain Couffaine cheered in the students as she passed them, making her two kids slightly embarrassed.

Luka just joined them in the classroom, sitting next to Marinette.

"All Juleka would say was to come to the school as quickly as possible and to not allow mom to bring her sword," he said.

"If I was Juleka, I would have let her bring her sword," Vallia snickered.

"Considering that I've seen you use your bo staff against an akuma, I can see why you would," Adrien said.

"You two have slight violent tendencies, don't you," Alya asks, only getting shrugs in response.

[idyllicstarker]

here's a Christmas prompt for you ;) how do you feel about Peter telling Tony he won't be home in time for Christmas (maybe he's on a trip? at MIT?) but then showing up on Christmas to surprise Tony

I may have turned the prompt a little, but I hope it’s still close to what you asked for 💖

***

Warnings: none

“I was thinking we could maybe watch Elf, tomorrow - Christmas Eve is for cheesy Christmas films after all.”

Peter’s apprehensive gaze eyed the screen on his laptop, completely illuminated by Tony’s face. It was evident by how timid the question was, he knew his suggestion was a long shot - he didn’t want to make Tony anymore mad then he already seemed, but he also didn’t want the holidays to be a complete bummer because of his own faults.

Tony looked up, presumably from his work bench in the lab, eyes settling on the grainy pixels that made up Peter. He had a blanket wrapped around him, having expressed many times that the heater in the dorm pretty much did nothing at all. Tony could tell he was sad. He could tell he felt guilty at not being able to be there over Christmas. But it didn’t mean Tony felt any better about the whole ordeal.

“You’re really expecting to be able to stream and video chat with me at the same time - with your crappy wifi?”, Tony asked, looking back down to whatever work he was completing.

Peter should be used to the man getting distracted during their evening calls. Most of the time Peter didn’t have his camera on anyway, not when his roommate, Harley, was around. But that didn’t stop the pang of hurt in his chest upon seeing Tony so nonchalant about it.

“Well I don’t think it will be that slow. Harley’s gone back to his family for winter break, and most of the dorm isn’t here either”, he muttered quietly. His revision notebook sat untouched on his lap, nervously rolling his pen between his thumb and index finger.

“You know I never used to like Harley, so I can’t believe I’m saying this but you should be more like him.”

Frustrated tears began to form in Peter’s eyes at Tony’s bluntness. But the man still refused to even look over at the screen.

“You know this isn’t my fault”, Peter whispered, it hurt that Tony was pinning the blame on him. How was he supposed to know the weather was going to stop flights?

“If you’d just gotten the flight when I’d told you too we’d be able to watch Elf together on Christmas Eve, on my couch. But no, you wanted to stay for an extra few days”, Tony hissed. The darkness of the screen made his brown eyes almost black, and Peter flinched at the look of absolute betrayal on the man’s face.

“You know I wanted to go to the party”, he said quietly, shaking his head, “I couldn’t have ever known it was going to snow this much.”

“Yes because a party is much more important than your boyfriend-”

“You’re being selfish…”

“Oh! I’m being selfish Peter? You promised to be here, and you’re not. That’s what’s selfish. You told me not to decorate because you said you wanted to do it with me. There’s not an ounce of Christmas cheer in this place, and now I don’t even want to do it. You know how much I hate the holidays because Maria and Howard were never around. I never had that. I never had a nice Christmasz You promised you were going to be here.. to help me experience that, and what have you done.. you’ve let me down. You told me five minutes ago there was literally no way for you to get back in time with the way it’s snowing, and you’re really expecting me to just be okay. That’s what's selfish.”

He leaned forward quite abruptly, and Peter heard the rough click of his keyboard, before his camera turned off. He was still on the call, but clearly didn’t want to be seen. So what Peter didn’t know was that the man was wiping roughly under his eyes, trying to rid himself of any tears.

Speechless, the younger male looked over the blank screen, his own expression hurt. He knew Tony was right, he’d given a lot of promises he wasn’t able to keep. He sighed, moving to turn his own camera off and therefore giving him the relief to let the tears fall. He sank down into his bed, cuddling the blanket to his chest and burying his cold nose into it.

“I’m sorry”, he muttered, because honestly he didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah so am I”, Tony’s voice rang out through his speaker, heavy with emotion yet the feedback didn’t quite pick that up distinctly.

Silence followed. A heavy, emotional silence that Peter didn’t know how to fill to get it to stop weighing down on his chest like that. He swallowed thickly, licking at his lips.

There was a sudden fast paced typing, as Peter sniffled before finally Tony spoke again.

“It says the snow’s going to stop on the twenty sixth. There’s no planned flights, but I’ll take the jet instead”, as if predicting Peter’s disagreement with that, he continued: “But only if it’s stopped completely. And If one of my pilots is willing. I don’t want to take them away from their family, a hefty pay rise would be in order…”, by the way he trailed off Peter knew he wasn’t really talking to him anymore.

He sighed out quietly, nodding his head solemnly before realising Tony still couldn’t see him.

“Okay”, he agreed, clearly his throat as he shifted in the bed, pulling his laptop to him and turning on the camera. He waited a few seconds, but Tony didn’t do the same. Nervously he chewed on his lip, and closed his eyes.

“How’s your foot?”, he asked quietly.

A couple of days ago Tony had dropped a hammer on it. He was lucky, it wasn’t broken, but it was swollen. If it wasn’t for that maybe he would have been able to drive down to get Peter. But he couldn’t.

“It’s fine," Tony replied gruffly, “healing..”, he mumbled after a moment. No matter how he was feeling right now, he didn’t want Peter to worry.

“Oh, that’s good.”

It seemed all attempts at initiating conversation again was futile. The guilt he felt was unlike any other. He had promised, and honestly if he knew it was going to end up this way he never would have stayed the extra few days just so he could go to that party and leave when everyone else left. But now flights were cancelled and he was alone. Most people just managed to drive back. He couldn’t.

“I’m sorry for getting snappy with you”, Tony sighed out after a long moment. “I know it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have predicted this. And besides your young - you want that college experience. I don’t blame you for taking it over your old boyfriend…”, he seemed to laugh at the end, but he sounded solemn more than anything. It wasn’t a humoured or a happy laugh, it was quite broken.

“That’s not true Tony”, he tried to justify, clutching his blanket to his chest. “I’d rather be with you then anywhere else. I made a mistake.. a big one”

He half expected Tony to agree but he actually didn’t get a reply. The only indication that he was actually still there was the faint tapping of his keyboard through the speaker.

“I don’t feel too good”, Peter said after a moment, “I think I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll text you in the morning…?”, he mumbled, the last part more of a question than anything. Even if it was Christmas Eve tomorrow, Tony didn’t look like he was going to forgive him anytime soon.

He was right in thinking such, getting only a low grunt from the man. Peter had to cough to hide his quiet sob.

“Goodnight”, he spoke meekly, voice shaking as he quickly ended the call.

***

If Peter could feel his nose he may have turned around to Ned and laughed about it being a Christmas miracle.

It had taken five hours and driving that most definitely should have been illegal considering they couldn’t see for the most part, but he was here.

Craving comfort after his conversation with Tony last night, he turned to who he knew would never let him down - Ned. He hadn’t asked him to drive down in the middle of the night, to pick him up and take him here, he just did. No amount of panicking from Peter as he realised he’d gotten into his car had stopped him. And now he was here.

The sun was just beginning to rise. Neither of them had slept, but here they were, in front of the tower, in front of his home. Of course, it was still snowing heavily, and as he stepped out of the car, his trainers crunched satisfyingly against the blanket that covered the floor.

“Thanks dude, I don’t know what I’d do without you”, he said softly. His gratitude so strikingly evident in the way his voice softened as they pulled his cases and belongings for his stay from Ned’s trunk.

“Don’t worry about it. It was nice to have the catch up. I’ve missed you”, Ned said, shrugging his shoulders.

Peter didn’t mention the fact that they’d spent half the time screaming whenever they swerved, the tires not quite gripping onto the icy road in a way that comforted Peter enough to not be alert. Instead he simply nodded.

“You should come over, we’ll hang out like old times…”

When all of his stuff was on the pavement, and Peter was beginning to wish he’d put a hat on, he smiled over at his friend. They hugged for a moment, but Ned being tired from driving all night, and Peter eager to go see Tony, let each other go after a moment.

“Thanks man.”

Peter managed to get all of his stuff inside after Ned had left. He decided to let reception send it up, not wanting to haul it all in the elevator and instead just grabbed one small case and bounded over to the lift.

He wiped away at the wetness on his cheeks, and brushed off the snow flakes from his hoodie. He knew Tony would still be asleep, which meant he could go through with his plan easily.

“Friday, don’t alert Tony that I’m back please”, he spoke.

“Yes Mr Parker”, came the reply.

He thanked her quickly, running a hand through his damp hair as let out a deep breath and smiled as the elevator arrived on the floor.

***

“Ho Ho Ho! Good morning handsome”

Peter’s breath was warm against Tony’s cheek. Smelling faintly of chocolate (they’d had a bit of a feast on the way here) and ever so soft and gentle.

Tony blinked his eyes groggily, letting out a disgruntled sound as he lifted his head up to try and make out the sight that was currently hovering over him in the bed.

The small figure of his boyfriend that should definitely not be here, was straddling his torso with the widest grin. His cheeks were still flush from the cold outside, and atop his head was a cute little Santa hat.

“Christmas came early this year”, Peter hummed, shrugging innocently. “Unfortunately Peter Claus didn’t bring you any presents, but he thinks he’s the best gift of all”

Two seconds later and he was being tackled to the bed by a suddenly very much awake Tony. Peter giggled, squirming as Tony’s goatee scratched against his face and neck at all the kisses that were being peppered against his skin.

“How are you here? I thought there were no flights”, he was evidently elated at the sight of his partner.

“Poor old Ned drove all the way over, and then drove me all the way back. We’ve been driving all night. But it’s worth it. I’d rather spend Christmas with you then alone.”

As they both settled down, Peter wound his arms around Tony’s neck, cuddling up to his chest. The Santa hat sat lopsided on his head but he didn’t mind too much, all that mattered was that he was here.

“We’ll have to thank him later”, Tony concluded, pressing a soft kiss to Peter’s lips that the younger male returned eagerly.

“I’m glad you're here. I was worried, but this is the best Christmas gift I could ever get, you’re totally right”, he concluded after a moment of silence whilst they took in the feeling of finally being together again.

Peter nodded his head in agreement, a sleepy smile on his lips as he curled against his warmth.

“Merry Christmas Tony”, he mumbled softly.

“Merry Christmas my love.”

[mvnvgedmischief]

unremarkable days.

summary: sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

chapter:  4/?

characters: sirius black, regulus black, wolfstar, background marauders

tags: tw: canon compliant abuse, child abuse, social services, abuse

words: 3. 8 k

read it on ao3 here

read the last chapter here

Sirius knew that work was going to be high stress all day. He felt sick to his stomach, thinking about the way he would continuously have to talk to people, when all he wanted was some peace. He wanted downtime. Time when he didn’t have to think about how he needed his paycheck to put food on the table, clothes on his brother’s back, pay bills to keep his lights on, wifi for homework. Regulus occupied his thoughts at all times, protecting him was Sirius’s only priority these days. He didn’t have time for anything else. Not his friends, not his interests, not music. Nothing could come between his focus and his brother’s wellbeing, because if it did, Sirius would never forgive himself. The consequences were too dire. So instead, he just wished for downtime that wouldn’t come, and prayed for the weekend to approach even faster. 

The weekend, when he could finally sleep again, albeit not well. The weekend, when he had the time to take a breath, even if it was only brief. Because his weekends were also spent finding ways to better equip his apartment for his younger brother, going to long grocery runs so Regulus had lunch to take to school, meal prepping all of the things he couldn’t bring himself to eat for dinner. He was definitely tired of all of the ways his mind was spiraling out, he didn’t have the time. He didn’t fault Regulus for it, it wasn’t the teen's presence in his life that was causing all this stress. It really was his own fault. A bit of crying at that first hearing had given Walburga and Orion the satisfaction of a victory over him at that first hearing, and they seemed to crave more of that chaos. They wanted to watch their children suffer, and this was how they chose to do that. So instead he spiraled in the privacy of his own home, because he could practically hear the words they burned into his mind whenever he saw them, and feel the ache of old beatings. 

But it was only Thursday, and that meant he still had to do this all day, and  then get berated by the rest of the team for not attending their weekly bonding happy hour. If he was lucky,  no  one would ask him to go. He knew he should be less terrified of them asking, most of the people on his team were his friends. There was simply the question of Remus, and Sirius didn’t have the time to be thinking about him in the first place. 

He didn’t have time to think about  the way his hair curled just the right way to fall into his eyes when he slept, or the way his caramel freckles made him look sunkist. He didn’t have time to think about the  pink scars that ran down Remus’s face or how they got there. He definitely didn;’t have time to think of the comfort  of his hand combing through Sirius’s own mop of unruly curls. So instead, he needs to  put  all of that out  of his mind. It wasn’t going to help him do well at work. It wasn’t going to solve his problems. He didn’t have the  time for this, nor did he have the emotional bandwidth. Perhaps that was why Sirius was conveniently avoiding the idea that he had asked Remus on a date. With some luck, Remus would think he was just an asshole who ghosted him. That was definitely complicated by the fact that they worked together, that he couldn’t just disappear. He wanted to, he really did, because there was simply no time. 

He set up his deliverables as though he had made tons of them, because his employment in this company  rode on it. Just two months ago, he was pegged to be promoted within the next two cycles, and now he could barely hold on to his sanity enough to handle his workload. He was so fucking tired, and he had so much on his plate. He needed to mentally prepare himself for the long day of meetings ahead of him. He had no true motivation to do his job right now, all he knew was that his exhaustion was no excuse. He knew that his boss, Alice, was giving him a whole lot of leeway right now. She was probably doing more than she should to help him. Being a mentor on the senior design team didn’t mean she needed to keep tabs on his personal life and pick up his slack. 

“Sirius–” 

When Sirius focused back into the meeting he was calling into, it occurred to him that they’re talking to him. So he did what he always did, blamed it on a shoddy connection. 

“Oh, sorry, can you repeat that? My audio cut out.” 

“Remus was saying that some of  the poems could probably use illustrations, and he was wondering if you had any ideas on which ones needed it.” 

“Thanks, Peter.” Sirius was glad that he knew the people on this team, that Peter and James were as close to him as anyone could be. Because otherwise, he’d probably be fucked. 

“So I was looking through them, and I was thinking Bite, Magick, and Love I could probably use larger scale illustrations. But at the same time, we don’t want to crowd the book. How attached are you to the current order or page arrangement?” 

It felt too close, but he was lucky that he had at least read the titles of some of the poems in the first half of the book. Sirius knew Remus didn’t actually know what his level of involvement was. He thought it was just doodles, but Sirius would be responsible for presenting everything from kearning and font choice within the pages, to illustration and cover art to the design team. He was integral to the success of this book as a product, and he  needed to start acting like it. 

“I’m pretty attached.” Remus sounded cold to Sirius, and he wondered what exactly he had done wrong in this meeting. And yet, he didn’t have time to think on it. He needed to keep things moving, keep getting valuable information out of the author. Hook up be damned, Sirius needed this book to actually get off the ground. 

 “Okay, well we should get a meeting on the calender to discuss. What poems and what scale of illustrations you want–” 

“Shouldn’t you be deciding what the illustrations look like and the logistics of those. Isn’t that what you  get paid for?” Remus really wasn’t making this easy on Sirius. But he had dealt with bigger demons and divas then whatever this attitude was. So he put on a light and airy smile, one they’d never know didn’t reach his eyes over the low quality webcam and nodded. 

“If you’d like to take a hands off approach with the design work, that can absolutely be arranged. But in the case of a fledgling project with a new author, the design team, myself included, really hope to prioritize your artistic license so that we can get a better sense of your vision for your literature, should Quill move forward with other publications in the future.  We can provide a completely in-house service, with as much input as you feel necessary during the design process, and deliver collateral towards the end of the project when final edits are done, if you would prefer, Mister Lupin.” 

Sirius practically wanted to scream. He needed Remus to stop fucking with his job, with his livelihood. He couldn’t lose this project. He needed all of the billable hours he could get if he was going to justify the overtime he needed in order to provide for his brother. This was ridiculous. But his clinical and polite answer must have thrown Remus, because he didn’t get much more attitude out of him. The back and forth had ended. So instead, Sirius pulled up his deliverables for the week, which included new iterations for the covers, and twelve illustrations for the three poems he had mentioned. 

He noticed the way Remus looked at his drawings, like he was pained by whatever his thoughts were, and Sirius wants to scream that he’s under no obligation to think that they’re good. But then he remembers that Remus seemed to be nitpicking on purpose, based on his critique of the design system itself. Sirius didn’t have the time to deal with that level of petty, just because he hadn’t been answering. He was too busy. He had too much on his plate. So instead he continues his presentation. 

“I don’t like any of these. Maybe you should start over.” Remus sounded vindictive, even mean. Like he was doing this out of spite.  Sirius could feel his heart drop in that moment. He didn’t want to start over. He didn’t have the time. 

“What do you not like about them?” Sirius is trying to salvage his work while he can. 

“The vibe is off.”

“Oh, is there something specific that throws it off or...” Sirius trailed off, wondering what exactly he needed to change. 

“No, it’s the whole thing. All of them are just off.” 

Sirius needed to think quick on his feet. He didn’t have the time to start from scratch, so he pulled up his original thumbnails that he had discussed with Remus. 

“These are the original sketches we discussed. I moved forward with the ones we talked about. I’m happy to rework those sketches,” no, he wasn’t. “But if there’s another sketch that you think would fit your vision better, please let me know.” He felt like he was pleading with Remus not to hate his artwork. He’d be a liar if he said it wasn’t a blow to his self esteem to hear that everything that he did was bad. 

“No, I would suggest you start over.” 

Sirius nodded, his mind immediately whirring with ways he could start over and re-design this project. He really didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to do hundreds of thumbnails to get set on thirty, only to be destroyed in a meeting again. Especially when Remus seemed so excited about all of his illustrations before the meetings. It felt like too much. He didn’t have the energy for this kind of behavior. 

Luckily, Marlene directed the conversation away from Sirius’s work. The rest of the call went on without a hitch, like the only person who’s work Remus had a problem with was Sirius’s. He knew that it was more likely for Remus to have a problem with him, because design work was usually something an artist thought of as easy; however, this felt calculated and cold. If Sirius had been avoiding Remus before, it definitely wasn’t about to get better. So instead, he listened to the end of the meeting, and started the project all over again. He could do this. It was an unremarkable critique. It didn’t matter.

[joheun-saram]

To Make A Power Couple (knj) | 05

Chapter 5: 30 under 30

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Summary- After a bout of long distance our couple reunites for a weekend where they are both invited to the Forbes 30 under 30 celebration.

word count- 13k 😅

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- R

genre- series, slow burn, fluff, smut, strangers2lovers, angst (😱)

warnings- alcohol consumption, softdom!Joon, oral sex (f. receiving), orgasm denial, explicit sex, hints towards depressive mindset, overworking

a.n- new chapter? NEW CHAPTER! AND THERE’S ANGST?! I would like to point out that the Namjoon’s struggles in this chapter are in no way meant to reflect the real Namjoon’s thoughts. This is a fictional character. I use writing as an outlet to work through my own issues so the only headspace they accurately reflect is my own at times. If you relate, or need someone to talk to you, my messages are open - I’m here for you!

Thank you so much for the love you all have given this series so far! I’m loving writing this! Also, I’m still simping for this couple and writing the last two scenes was heartbreaking.

s/o to @moccahobi​ for beta reading! ily!

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​, @sscheherazadee, @rjsmochii​, @jinjccns, @joyful-jimin @sideblogger​ @agustdpeach @diamonddia-mond

-

“So how much do I have to bribe Sejin to let us be in the same room for the Forbes thing?” You settled in bed, wearing one of your boyfriend’s t-shirts, as you Facetimed him a few countries away, his scent making you feel closer to him. To say his comeback had him busy was an understatement. Since the night you two had agreed on labeling your relationship, you only had a few weeks together to cuddle, visit your favorite places, and argue philosophies of the books you were reading, before being thrown into a long-distance relationship. First, your investor meetings had you traveling from San Francisco to Seoul every few weeks and then he set out on the Asian leg of his promotions and mini-tour. The days that you were in the same city were spent staying in bed and ordering take-out (mostly jjajangmyeon to satisfy Namjoon’s cravings), alternating between his apartment and yours.

“Literally nothing? Obviously we’re in the same room! He’s not gonna stop me from staying with my girlfriend who I haven’t seen in like two months.” He looked tired, his brows creased as he massaged his shoulder. Your heart panged wishing you could be there to massage it for him.

“Oh. But what if we get caught?” This was not a new concern. Since day one, you had to ensure that all your dates were private, pretending you both were single at events you were obligated to attend. He had an image to portray and although it sometimes weighed on you that you always had a group of friends with you whenever you went out in public and that you couldn’t hold hands during your outings, you respected him too much to tarnish his career.

“By who? The room service guy?” He rolled his eyes as he now started to punch his shoulders.

“Yes, or fans who hack the security system. I remember some One Direction fans doing that.” You pretended as if some of those fans were not your old university friends. You don’t talk to them anymore, but you have to admit it was hilarious seeing a group of coders hunched over their computers to get access to grainy pictures of Harry Styles walking in the hallways.

“You are so paranoid. We’ll be fine, baby. Trust me.” He dismissed you with a huff as he finally let go of his shoulders and moved on to removing his makeup.

“Also, I didn’t know you told your company.” You both had decided to wait to tell BigHit about your relationship until you were done with this long-distance leg, opting to go in together to announce it. Neither of you wanted to go public so you assumed the meeting was going to be quick and painless.

“I told people who needed to know. Hyung included.” He shrugged.

“Aww, I was looking forward to sneaking around some more!” You joked as he carried his phone to the bathroom to wash his face.

“You’re annoying.” He whined as he put on copious amounts of skincare before dropping on his hotel bed like a brick. Looking at his bare face, his dark circles and tired eyes were much more evident. Tonight’s show must have been really hard on him.

“Aw, do you miss me, baby?” You cooed, hoping to make him laugh. You wanted to hug him, cuddle with him as the little spoon as you usually did when he had a hard day, but all you could do at the moment was make jokes and hope that was enough. Shit, you missed him.

“I always miss you. Phone sex sucks.” He sighed, making himself comfortable among the pillows.

“I knew it! You only like me for the sex.” Just give me one laugh Namjoon, come on. A chuckle, anything!

“Yes and your sexy brain, pretty girl.” He laughed lightly as he stared at you through the screen, the longing in his eyes mirroring yours.

“Hey! That’s my line!” You giggled, relieved to see the crease between his brows finally disappear.

“Fuck! Three more days!” He said excitedly, shaking the phone in his hand making him look more like a crazed anime character with his new pink hair and lopsided glasses than your boyfriend.

“Three more days!” you squealed.

----------------------------------

Your body ached from the thirteen-hour flight as you walked through the lobby of the Metropolitan Detroit hotel with Siwon. Grateful for how organized Namjoon’s company was, you seamlessly checked in and made your way to your suite, dropping off your stuff before meeting Siwon at his to go over the weekend itinerary. Even though you knew he was still in the air since the boys and his flight wasn’t due to land for another five hours, you texted him your safe arrival.

Over the past four months since the gala, Jiyoung’s hard work had started to pay off. You were no longer an unknown entity controlling a company; you were now an “influencer entrepreneur”. Your personal social media, now closely tied to the company, showcasing not only usual photos of you at museums and galleries (courtesy of Namjoon’s camera) but photos of you in boardrooms and speaking at events (courtesy of Siwon’s camera). You had significantly surpassed your corporate accounts in followers over a month ago, with a steady stream coming in after your interview in a fashion magazine of all things (apparently your “street style” was deemed a breath of fresh air for businesswomen) and another stream coming in when you were invited to this year’s class of Forbes 30 under 30. 

Although you usually didn’t care for flashy awards such as this, Jiyoung had worked overtime on your nomination and the fact that you were one of the ten people invited from Korea made you pretty happy. The coverage and clout that came with your invite had made you a role model for young female entrepreneurs and that was something you were actually proud of. When you started out there were barely any female mentors and you wanted to change that, give back to other young women running their own ventures. You were excited to meet women around your age who you could relate to this weekend. This was one of the first years that there were this many women invited, making up almost 40%, and your extroverted self was buzzing. Of course, an added bonus was that out of the ten winners from Korea, one was your boyfriend and six were his bandmates, who were slowly but surely becoming your close friends as well. You had been looking forward to this weekend since it was announced a month ago.

Arriving at Siwon’s room you ordered some lunch and planned out the weekend. Tonight was a free night where you could explore the city and the pre-festival activities, although to be honest after almost two months apart, the only thing you’d be exploring tonight was your boyfriend. Tomorrow would be a brunch meet for all the winners followed by a gala in the evening filled with dancing, dinner, and drinks. Then the next day was the festival, which you were still undecided about wanting to attend or not.

“Honestly, it’s up to you. It seems pretty useless to attend if you want to hang out with Namjoon instead.” Siwon offered as you both started on a pro-con list for reasons to attend.

“I don’t know. What if there are some big clients we could get?” Although you missed him dearly, there was no way you could forgive yourself if you let your heart cloud your judgment.

“Yes, we can definitely teach Detroit some English.” Siwon rolled his eyes. “Most of the companies here are tech companies, too small for our caliber. Take a break. This month’s been tough.”

As much as you wanted to disagree with Siwon, he wasn’t wrong. This past month has probably been the toughest month for you in terms of deadlines and stress in the past two years. With the added pressure of maintaining a public persona, your days at the office had stretched from the usual ten hours to sixteen. Most of the time you would be holed up at your desk going through proposals or stuck in meetings with your board as you planned strategies after strategies for expansion into Japan only to get shut down and asked to reassess by one or multiple of them. On top of that, your evenings were booked with conferences where you were invited to speak, given your new spotlight. Most times when you reached home you barely had the energy to change as you fell into bed, falling asleep under ten minutes, usually with Namjoon on the phone as he went through similar motions. You were stressed. Even this short trip was cutting into your time and although you had made good use of the plane’s wifi to work, there was still one proposal that you would have to finish sometime this weekend. Suddenly, the idea of not going to the festival was looking better, so you relent to Siwon as you bid him goodbye and make your way back to your room.

After a quick shower, you decided to work on the proposal before Namjoon arrived but soon as you sat on the desk typing away, the exhaustion of the day caught up with you, and with your head on the table, you drifted to a dreamless sleep.           

----------------------------------------

Namjoon hadn’t been this excited in a long while. He could barely focus on the conversation in the car as he followed the little blue dot on his phone that was showing the way to the hotel. He had texted you as soon as he landed but you hadn’t responded and he was getting a bit antsy.

“Namjoon! Are you paying attention? Hey! I’m talking to you!” He begrudgingly looked up from his phone to see Jin pouting at him annoyed that he missed his comment. He rolled his eyes at him as he launched into a rant about him never listening to his stories. How Jin had this much energy after a twelve-hour flight was lost on him.  

“Let him be. He’s just excited to see Y/N.” Yoongi spoke, not even bothering to open his eyes. Although Namjoon was glad that Yoongi had his back, he wished he hadn’t said anything because suddenly everyone forgot about their long flight and started cooing. He felt himself get annoyed as their teasing increased but he couldn’t help the goofy grin that made its way to his face. He couldn’t be mad at them, they all had people at home they were missing, and he was lucky that unlike them he could get a break from missing you and actually hold you in his arms. He wouldn’t tell you but initially, his company had decided to send in their regrets for this event but he may or may not have convinced them to move the shoot for their new music video that was taking place in Los Angeles to next week so they could be here this weekend. If he had to just see you through his screen for another month he was going to go crazy. If it was up to him he would not leave your side at all the next three days.

Namjoon had to restrain himself from sprinting to his room as soon as he was handed the key card. He barely noticed a few of his members following him as he opened the door to spy you hunched over the desk in the corner of the large room, your laptop displaying multiple pictures of your friends and the both of you together. He figured you were asleep but he couldn’t wait to gently wake you up as he usually did, instead opting for screaming a loud “baby” and running to hug your sleeping form.

What he didn’t expect was for you to wake up so startled that you scream and elbow him in the ribs making him stumble backward till his butt met the floor, much to the entertainment of Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook who were cackling in the background.

“Oh my god! Joon?” He could see your face go from confusion to recognition and then into one of the most beautiful smiles he had seen as your puffy eyes go wide. “Joonie!”

You launched yourself from your chair into his arms as you collapsed on top of him in something between a hug and a cuddle as both of you fell to the floor erupting in giggles. Your scent enveloped him and he could feel himself getting delirious. He didn’t know whether it was the long flight or the long-distance but his heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest. He hadn’t been this happy in a long while.

“I missed you!” He exclaimed as he peppered aggressive pecks on top of your head, his arms around your shoulders tightening, making you squirm and laugh. Above you the maknaes squealed a chorus of “cute!”, cooing loudly.

“I missed you more!” You countered, grinning into his chest, before attempting to get up only to be pulled in tighter after Namjoon’s whine. “Babe, we have the whole weekend!”

“Hey! We missed her too! I want a hug!” Jimin mock yelled at Namjoon, who was now sitting up with you on his lap, still not letting you go.

“No. Get your own Y/N.” He pouts, placing a kiss to your shoulder as you giggle. You hadn’t seen this cute clingy side before and you were sure you had heart eyes. Ignoring his whining you managed to wriggle yourself out of his grip and stood up, greeting the boys. You barely talked for five minutes before Namjoon got impatient again and suggested “as their leader” they go rest after the long flight. You all made plans to meet up for dinner and drinks later that night to properly catch up.

You waved bye to the boys as Namjoon pushed them out the door, ignoring their groans. As soon as the door was closed, he grabbed you by the waist, his lips crashing into yours. The kiss was hungry, all tongues, teeth, and desperation. Your arms went around his neck, fingers pulling at his hair as his hands moved lower, groping your ass in an attempt to pull you even closer, grinding against you and making you moan into the kiss. Soon Namjoon was pinning you against the wall, his hands roaming all over your body as yours do on his.

“Missed my pretty girl,” Namjoon says after a few minutes, beaming and panting, his forehead against yours, his hand caressing your sides. Hearing your favorite nickname makes you melt. Even though his heart is beating a mile a minute, heat encasing his body, he hasn’t felt this relaxed in months. Just being in your presence puts him at ease.

“I really missed you.” You reach up to kiss him again, slower this time allowing yourself to relish him after being deprived for so long. He returns the kiss just as tenderly, making your heart melt in your chest as he cups your face, thumbs running over your cheeks. Even though things had started heated, this is what you truly missed, just being in each other's presence.

When you break the kiss, he lifts you up bridal style as you squeal, your arms automatically going around his neck. He grins at you, making you feel the same butterflies you had when you first met him as you poke his dimples, and he carries you to the bed, gently placing you among the pillows before kissing you again.

He was on top of you as you kissed, and you had almost forgotten what it felt to have him there with you as your tongues wrestled, his weight cushioning you to the mattress. Your hands reached the hem of his shirt, pulling it upwards till he sat on his knees to remove it, looking at you with his signature smirk as you ran your hands up his body, feeling the contours of his muscles, enjoying the way his chest flexed under them. That is until his smirk turned into one of the biggest yawns you had ever witnessed.

“Am I boring you, Joonie?” You saw his face flush as he looked at you sheepishly before leaning back over you and kissing your lips before moving on to your jaw.

“I read somewhere that yawns are just your brain's way of getting more oxygen” He whispered while gently kissing your neck, making you moan, as his hands moved under your shirt, roaming over your chest. “And all my blood’s somewhere else now so it makes sense” He kissed your ear, making you giggle.

“Wow your dirty talk sure has gotten scientific.” You couldn’t hold back your laughter as you processed what he had just said, your moans turning into cackles. He nipped at your ear as he leaned up to look at you, a goofy grin on his face.

“I’m out of practice!” He shrugged and pretended to glare at you but it only lasted a few seconds before he started laughing again because this time it was you who was yawning. Somehow the earlier sexual tension fades into comfort as you both get caught into a yawn loop.

“Maybe we should just nap first” you suggest pulling him back to you as you peck his lips.

“I do feel like I do better when I’m well-rested.” He lays on his side pulling you into him, one arm under your head and one around your waist. You hum in approval as you cozy up into him. You kiss as you slowly doze off, the adrenaline of your reunion wearing off into a soft glow of contentment.

--------------------------------

“Y/N! You have to call me oppa. We’re close enough! Stop calling me Mr. Seokjin!” You rolled your eyes as Jin yelled from the couch across from you. You had hung out with him quite a few times and every time he got drunk he insisted on making you call him by the term of endearment. You didn’t mind the term, in fact you called all your older male friends by it since moving to Korea, but riling up Jin till he started rapping was too funny an opportunity to pass up. 

“I can just call you Jin instead if you hate Mr Seokjin?” you smirked as the room around you burst into giggles. You were sitting on the couch in Hoseok’s room, leaning into Namjoon, his arm around your shoulders as he sipped his beer, shaking his head at your antics. After you and Namjoon had become official, you had made it a goal of yours to get to know most of his friends, as he had with yours. Before being separated, you would go out for dinners with your combined friends, and hearing them say they missed you warmed your heart. 

The first time you had had drinks together you had introduced them to King’s cup, one of your favorite drinking games from university, and their penchant for petty competitiveness and gross punishments made the game and you a regular occurrence whenever a few of you had free time together. In fact, Jungkook was so into it that he brought a deck of cards on tour to carry on the tradition, even though you had shown him multiple apps that could do the same. The same deck of cards was the one sprawled around the cup filled with Taehyung’s strawberry daiquiri, Siwon’s IPA, and Yoongi’s whiskey on the coffee table. No one was looking forward to pulling the next king card. 

The room was a bit crowded, filled with people. Although dinner was just you and the boys catching up, everyone had decided to invite the boys’ stylists and managers, as well as Siwon, for drinks. Hoseok had lost the game of rock, paper, scissors so he was made the begrudging host. 

“I’m older than you. You can’t call me just Jin!” he pouted, red cheeks puffed and arms crossed across his chest.

“Yeah by five months!” This is how this argument always went. It was pretty much scripted at this point, as evident by Taehyung who was gleefully mouthing the words before they even came out of your mouths. He’ll argue that Yoongi still called him hyung, you’d retort that’s because Jin forced him and that he was dumb for following through, Yoongi would then interrupt saying that he was still one month older than you and you’d rile up Jin more by calling Yoongi oppa the rest of the night while he would complain about you disrespecting Korean culture and you’d annoy him by telling him that he was disrespecting Canadian culture by not letting you use just his first name. You’d finally relent after seeing him stew only to pick up the same argument the next time you all drank together.

“Stop arguing and pick a card!” Hoseok whined, his sweet demeanor slowly phasing into his zombie persona with each sip of his drink. You loved hanging out with him but the man could not handle his alcohol. Namjoon kind of felt bad that Hobi was the host. He would normally offer him his bed once he inevitably passed out but Namjoon had other plans for his bed once this party was over.

Jin obliged as he picked up a card, careful not to break the circle lest he was forced to down his concoction of mini bar liquor and fruit punch. He picks up a jack, requiring him to start a game of Never Have I Ever.

“Alright, never have I ever disrespected Kim Seokjin.” He said smugly, looking straight at you egging you on to drink. You oblige by raising your glass to him before sipping your drink. To Jin’s annoyance, almost everyone else did that same thing, causing him to grumble.

“Okay that was a boring waste of a question,” Jimin states, rolling his eyes, already drunk sitting on the couch’s arm next to Namjoon. “Let’s make the couples here uncomfortable. Never have I ever had sex in public.”

Surprisingly, Namjoon, you and a stylist are the only ones that drink, making Jimin scream a loud “Kinky!” and prompting Sejin to start his lecture on being careful in the public eye since you were pretty known now and the press would have a field day. Before he can get into the full swing of his chiding, you decide to save you and Namjoon by protesting that you didn’t even hold his hand in public, let alone do anything else, and suddenly the whole atmosphere in the room changed. All eyes went from Namjoon to the stylist, with him glaring at Jimin and her awkwardly downing her drink before leaving. Confused and drunk, you don’t hesitate to ask what’s wrong in the silence that ensues, till it finally dawns on you. That’s the ex he worked with. Oh.

Namjoon could see the gears turning in your head as you put two and two together. He was going to kill Jimin and then himself. Why didn’t he think before taking a sip? He wanted tonight to end with you in his arms, not with you mad at him over something that happened two years ago. However, before he could think of how to make it up to you - maybe he could get you flowers or that whiskey you really like - you laugh, breaking the tension in the room.

“It’s okay guys, everyone has exes!” Still giggling you sip your drink while Jimin apologizes, waving him off. “Why would I get mad at this?”

That caused the room to return back to normal, people resuming the game and enjoying their drinks, but Namjoon was still confused. He knew you were a pretty rational person, but he had just told the whole room of your friends that he fucked his ex in public when you confirmed that he wouldn’t even hold your hand. Surely, he wasn’t wrong to assume that you would be at least a little peeved, but here you were laughing along at Jungkook’s stupid jokes without batting an eyelid. Before he could dwell too long on it, it was your turn to pull a card - pulling a king and effectively ending the game.

“Ewwww. I hate this. Ugh. Is this punishment for introducing you all to this game?” You scrunch your nose sniffing the liquid in the cup as the whole group chants “chug!”. Before you can put it to your lips, Namjoon grabs the cup from you.

“Allow me.” He says as he chugs the drink, almost in one shot, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and barely concealing the shiver that runs through him at the disgusting taste. Half the crowd boos as the other half coos at the chivalrous gesture. You can’t help smiling sweetly at him as he grimaces, and putting your arms around his waist pulling him in an embrace, exclaiming an overly exaggerated “My hero!”.

“Anything for my girl!” He says as he returns your hug and cups your face. “But you gotta suffer the taste with me!”

You’re not one for public displays of affection but you let him pull you into a sloppy kiss, almost forgetting your surroundings as he deepens it, his hand gripping your waist, his tongue tasting mostly of fake strawberry flavoring. Before you can get too carried away, you are interrupted by Yoongi, poking you both and wedging himself between you when you separate.

“Stop being gross! Some of us are single!” He says, making himself comfortable with an annoyed look on his face. 

“Awww hyung! They are so cute! Let them be gross!” A drunk Taehyung exclaims, clapping gleefully from the floor where he’s laying in Jungkook’s lap.

“Yeah! Rapmon hyung and Y/N noona are OTP!” Jungkook says as he sips his wine, almost dribbling it down his chin.

“Nobody says OTP anymore, kid.” Yoongi drawls but refuses to move from his position. “Plus I’m the one responsible for this okay? Your OTP would be nothing without me.” He looks smug as he finishes his sentence, sipping his drink and shrugging his shoulders. Namjoon and you exchange a smirk at his remark and proceed to hug your grumpy friend tightly from both sides much to his over the top protests. Namjoon was truly grateful Yoongi had given him the courage to speak to you that night. He can’t even begin to explain the impact you have made on his life. As he looked at you tipsy and giggling, now arguing with Yoongi over which Kanye album was the best, he felt his heart blossom. You were beautiful and he was in love with you. He was sure you weren’t there yet but he promised himself that before this trip was over he was going to tell you without chickening out at the last moment like the last four times. 

The party comes to an end soon after. Hoseok almost passes out after his third nursed drink and Sejin has the right mind to kick everyone out while Namjoon and Jimin help Hoseok to his bed, your heart warming as your equally drunk boyfriend forces him to brush his teeth and get into bed. Once Hoseok is firmly tucked in, Namjoon turns to you and squats.

“Get on!” He smiles looking at your direction.

“Joon we’re like two doors down. Get up!” You giggle tipsily at his offer to piggyback you.

“I wanna carry you!” He pouts against your protests, finally giving up on the piggyback after asking three times and instead draping you over his shoulder as you squeal. 

“You’re gonna hurt your shoulder!” You scream but your protests go unheard, even as you take the opportunity to smack his butt from your position, a smack that he returns with a warning to behave, but you’re feeling drunk and cheeky as you continue to smack him, even going so far to rap to the beat that you’re making as he unlocks the door to your room.

He tosses you on the bed, pinning your arms above your head before you can wrap them around him and smirks at you, his eyes full of mischief.

“See, I was going to apologize for my ex but you had to go and be a brat.” He kisses you breathless as he takes both your hands in one of his while the other moves under your shirt, raising goosebumps where it caresses your stomach.

“Apologize for what?” You pant as he breaks the kiss, and he can see the confusion on your face.

“You’re not mad?” Now it’s his turn to be confused. He was sure you were mad. He would’ve been mad. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still thinking about it since the awkward incident.

“That you had sex with your ex-girlfriend while you were dating her?” You do a dramatic gasp as you giggle at his dumbfounded expression.

“Yeah… and told our friends about it.” He looks at you sheepishly, his earlier dominant persona fading into your soft boyfriend. His hand loosens its grip on yours as he searches your eyes for any signs of hurt, his eyebrows scrunched.

“Joon you fuck too good to have been a virgin when we met.” You lift one hand to poke at the crease between his brows as you laugh and he holds your wrist, still gauging your expression.

“You’re not mad? Or… jealous?”

“Pfft. I know I fucking rock your world better than she ever did.” You try your best to do a hair flip from where you lay under him, failing miserably and making him laugh, his head coming to rest on your shoulder.

“That you do, baby. That you do.” He pecks your shoulder as he moves to your neck, kissing up to your jaw before crashing his lips onto yours. As your hands go to his hair, he brings them back over your head, breaking your kiss but not before pulling your lower lip with his teeth, coaxing a moan from you. “But you’re still getting spanked for being a brat.”

You feel his deep voice reverberate through to your core as you look at the lust in his eyes and feel yourself getting wetter. He kisses you again, his arm hooking under your waist as he sits up pulling you with him, making you gasp at the sudden movement, your arms going around his neck. Your heart’s beating a mile a minute as you make out in his lap, grinding slowly. Even after months of being together you still can’t get used to how easily his switch to this persona turns you to putty. You whimper as his hands find your ass, his fingers groping the muscle hard enough to bruise.

“Get naked.” If you were wet before, you’re dripping now as he moves you off his lap, sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs spread and leaning on his elbows. You decide to make a show of it, jumping off the bed and slowly peeling off the layers. You smile over your shoulder as you rid yourself of your bra, watching him smile, eyes hooded, from where he watches relaxed. Your hands find the waistband of your jeans, slowly unbuttoning them and shimmying out of them, swaying your hips as you do. You’re sure you would find this strip tease embarrassing if it weren’t for how his hungry eyes drink in every expanse of new skin exposed. You bend down to give him a view of your ass as you pull your panties off, a thread of your slick following them as they reach the floor, making him groan loudly. “Fuck. I love your ass.”

You drape yourself on his lap, the material of his jeans on your bare skin making you shiver in excitement as he gently caresses your behind. “Since you love rapping so much, how about you rap that song from earlier, hmm?” he says as he lands a loud smack without warning making you jump at the contact. The sharp pain quickly ebbs into pleasure as he soothes the heated skin under his big palm. “What’s your safeword?”

“Rap monster.” That is not your safeword, but your drunk self thinks it’s the funniest joke as you giggle looking up at him to see his face crack into the smallest of smiles before reverting back to a stern look as he glares at you.

“Seems like someone doesn’t want to cum tonight.” He smacks you again, harder this time making you gasp before you’re apologizing at his threat. Namjoon watches your skin bloom red as he tries to maintain his composure. Trust you to make jokes even when he’s spanking you, and trust him for finding it funny.

“Sunflower! It’s sunflower!” you yell as his hand lands yet again on your ass.

“Good girl. Let’s hear that rap then.” You’re not even sure what song you’re mumbling as his hand rains on your behind, each spank making you wetter till you’re dripping down your thighs and whimpering in his hold.

“Fuck so wet for me.” He hisses as his fingers trace your swollen folds making you jump and mewl as he lightly caresses your throbbing clit. He leans down to kiss your red cheeks as he guides you off his lap and on to the bed and lies on top of you, smiling brightly as he cups your face to kiss you, slow and deep. “You did so well, baby. You’re really into ASAP nowadays aren’t you?”

“You really need some variation in the playlists you send me.” You quip, chuckling as you gently guide his face back to yours, kissing him again, his tongue intertwining with yours. As he leans on one elbow, his other hand makes its way down your body, stopping briefly to tweak each nipple and making you moan before he reaches the apex of your thighs. His fingers dip in you slightly gathering your arousal before starting to circle your clit as he starts kissing your neck, suckling the spot he knows makes you go crazy. It’s like your whole body’s on fire as he finds a rhythm, driving you quickly towards the edge, your mind turning blank as eyes squeeze shut and your lips moan his name. You’re so close and he can feel it by how your nails dig into his shoulders, making him hiss, but before you can cum he moves his hand away, bringing his fingers to his lips to clean them as he watches you glare at him with a whine.

“You really think I’ll forget your little joke earlier?” He whispers in your ear, his voice deeper than usual, as he nips on it before sitting up between your legs and unceremoniously stripping himself of his shirt and jeans. The sight of the bulge in his boxers makes your walls clench around nothing as you stare at him open-mouthed. Enjoying your reaction, he places one of your legs on his shoulders, the back of your knee fitting perfectly next to his neck as he moves back towards you, his clothed length pressing against your core as he kisses you again roughly, making you whimper as his hands dig into your sides. Your leg burns as he licks and kisses down your jaw towards your chest, his lips taking a nipple and rolling it around with his tongue. You’re sure he can feel your wetness seep through his boxers as he grinds into you agonizingly slow. He nips at your chest and you moan as your back arches off the bed into him.

He continues his slow kisses down your body turning you into a writhing mess under him. You think you’re going to lose your mind by the time he gets past your hip bone and places a chaste kiss on the top of your mound before moving on to your thigh, nibbling at the sensitive skin and paying no attention to your dripping core making a mess of the sheets.

“Joon please…” you beg, rolling your hips to entice him as he pays you no mind, placing an arm over your hips to halt your motion and continues to mark your other thigh. When he’s fully satisfied by his work, he places his forearms under your thighs and pulls to close to his face, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit, and it’s like you’ve been electrocuted; your earlier orgasm picking back up as your back arches off the bed, the moan emitting from you barely sounding like yourself. You clasp a hand over your mouth in shock as he continues licking you, his tongue expertly flicking at your clit before he adds two fingers inside you, the digits slipping in easily, making your walls clench around them. He hooks his fingers and you try to grind against him to no success as his arm pushes your hips into the bed. He relishes your moans as your hand moves from your mouth to grasp at the sheets, the sensation too overwhelming as your eyes close shut. 

“Are you close baby? You’re not allowed to cum till I tell you.” He feels your walls tighten around his fingers as he thrusts faster and a chant of please rolls off your tongue, your hand twisting in your hair. It’s like every cell in your body is alight from your toes to your scalp, tingling as you get closer, your eyes welling up with pleasure. But once again before you can come undone, his fingers slow down to a snail’s pace, his mouth moving away. The frustration builds in you as a few tears escape and your fists punch the mattress.

He chuckles lightly as he sees you pout under him as, your hair a mess, your lips swollen and red from where you’ve bitten them. God, even glaring at him like you’re gonna kill him, you look adorable. Deciding he’s taught you a lesson, he pulls his dick out of his boxers, his tip swollen and weeping with precum, and lines it towards your entrance, teasing you further and gathering your juices.

Your eyes roll back with pleasure as he replaces his fingers with his cock, filling you to the hilt in one swift motion. The stretch combined with his teasing makes your head hazy and you can hear him groan above you as he puts both your legs in the air together, holding them against his chest with one arm as he thrusts into you slow and hard. You feel so much tighter in this position and he has to bite his lip to ensure he doesn’t cum immediately. You can feel every vein and ridge as he moves slowly and deliberately and even at this pace you are getting close.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck Joonie… please can I cum? Please I’m so close!” You don’t care that you’re yelling, you’re desperate for release, the earlier tension returning tenfold. You vow to break up with him if he denies you one more time. Fortunately for your relationship, he increases his pace, making you see stars.

“Hold it just a little bit longer baby.” His pace doesn’t falter and you’re writhing against him, a babble of incoherent pleas escaping your lips as your hands try to grab on to his forearm. Your legs are shaking and he can feel your walls tighten harder around him. He increases his speed as your pleas get louder.

“Okay baby. Cum for me.” At his command, your vision goes black and it’s like your body is one big nerve ending, pleasure zipping through you making you cry out his name as you spasm in his hold. He fucks you through your orgasm, pace not faltering, till you go limp, your breath coming out in loud pants as he praises you. “That’s my girl. Good job, baby.”

Without changing his speed, he releases your legs, pushing them to your chest as he leans down and kisses you. The new angle hitting your g-spot as you whine in his mouth at the oversensitivity, but instead of slowing down, he picks up his pace yet again, his fingers coming to trace your sensitive clit, making your head buzz with the overwhelming sensation.

“I can’t… Joon,” you whine as he fucks you hard, panting above you and you can tell he’s close.

“Do you want to use your safeword?” He looks at you with concern, slowing down and closely reading your expression. As you tell him no his hips snap into you again, his fingers working faster on your clit as the pain morphs to pleasure. He’s chasing his release, his movements becoming sloppy.

“Cum again baby. I know you can do it. Come on, that’s it” And soon you’re cumming again, screaming as tears fall down your face and your walls clench around him coaxing him to orgasm. He grunts loudly, moaning your name multiple times, as he cums, painting your walls with his seed. His breath is heavy as he pulls out and watches his cum dribble out of you, using two fingers to push it back in before he collapses on the bed next to you.

He brings his fingers up to your lips and you happily suck on them before he pulls them out and kisses you gently, his hand smoothing your hair. He then puts his arm under your head as he cuddles you into his chest, his other arm pulling your waist into him and his legs over yours. You’ve never felt safer or more comfortable than you do tangled up in him.

“Are you okay?” He asks as he gently caresses your cheek, wiping your runny mascara with his thumb, kissing you once again.

“Holy fuck. That was-” Your voice is hoarse from your screaming and you have to clear your throat a couple of times before you can speak clearly. “That was amazing.”

“Phew! The suspense was killing me!” He laughs as you playfully swat at his chest before pulling his lips on yours again. “Shower?”

“Yes. But this time you really have to carry me.” You raise your hands grabbing at the air as he stands up.

“I got you, pretty girl.” He grins widely, his eyes scrunched together, as he kisses your forehead, picking you off the bed and carrying you to the bathroom. 

--------------------------------

Namjoon looked at you from across the room as you chatted with a group of women with a cup of coffee, your breakfast untouched, totally distracted from the guy who was telling him about some app he had made for producers to make it easier to find samples. He rarely got to see you in your professional element. In fact, the only time he had seen you was during the gala and he felt an unparalleled surge of pride. The way you carried yourself was so different than when you were with him. It wasn’t that you weren’t relaxed, it was just effortless - the way you seemed to answer each question with confident authority, the way you gave advice to people who were probably much older than you, and especially the way you tried to engage the quieter people of the group in conversations. It reminded him of why you had caught his eye the first time he met you, and why he was so unbelievably whipped for you. Your duality of being goofy and sexy when you were alone to being this serious vat of knowledge and experience when networking made him weak in the knees.

“So do you think you would use it?” The founder of the sampling app, Lee Seungmin, asked Namjoon. Seungmin was one of the other people invited from Korea, and seemed pretty adamant on selling his product to Namjoon. It took all of his energy to rip his gaze away from you.

“I’m sorry I missed that. What did you ask?” Namjoon asked politely, looking at the shorter, much chubbier man dressed in slacks and a shirt with his company logo on it.

“Wouldn’t blame you. She’s really hot, eh?” Seungmin jokes, making Namjoon choke on his coffee. Although he knows that this guy isn’t privy to your relationship, it makes him a little annoyed at his comment. Who was he to dare objectify you?

“Yes, but I don’t think they invite people here for their looks.” He couldn’t help how curt his tone was effectively shutting him up and making him move away to talk to someone else at the table. Namjoon would feel bad if he didn’t overhear him start the conversation about you with the next guy. Rolling his eyes, he went back to his lunch, talking to Hoseok and Yoongi instead, wishing this brunch went by faster than it did. He was getting sick of people trying to suck up to him or sell him something. Someone even had the audacity to ask him to pose with their product so they could put it on their website. He politely declined, but the thinly veiled attempts at using him and his members for clout were starting to get on his nerves. He could feel himself getting stressed, much like he did when he had to pretend to be perfect for the media, and falling back into the headspace of last month - cloudy, annoyed, and frustrated.

He was relieved when you both arrived back at the room. You held his arm for support as you leaned down to take off your heels, sighing in relief as your feet met the flat ground.

“God, I hate heels!” You exclaimed as you walked over, dropping your blazer on the ground and plopped on the couch, stretching your feet. Namjoon picked your jacket off the floor, draping it on one of the chairs as he situated himself on the other end of the sofa, putting your legs on his lap.

“Since when do you wear heels?” He asks, as he gently runs his hands over your legs, covered with a pair of navy pants.

“Too often nowadays.” You sigh with your eyes closed, and he can’t help frowning at how tired you looked, even though it’s barely past 2 pm.

“You okay, babe? Want a foot massage?” He doesn’t wait for your answer as he starts massaging your feet, smiling as you relax further into the couch.

“Shit. That feels good!” You moan as you relax. “You know they don’t give Grammys for best boyfriends, right?”

“I’m offended you think I’m doing this for something as dumb as a Grammy.” He chuckles, but he knows you well enough to know that you’re avoiding the topic. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just stressed about work. Don’t worry about it.” At that you pull your legs from under his hands, walking over to grab your laptop before sitting on the couch again to start working, eyebrows furrowed as soon as you open the your laptop. Namjoon knows he shouldn’t take your dismissal to heart, but he can’t help be taken aback by your lack of openness. You always told him what was on your mind and he felt his heart ache that you didn’t want to share what was wrong. He couldn’t fully blame you. He hadn’t told you about his stresses this past month either, but unlike him, you hadn’t even noticed he was stressed. It made him a little wary, bringing his thoughts back to last night and your reaction, or lack thereof, to meeting his ex. As much as it hurt him, maybe he was right after all. You didn’t love him yet. He sighed as he got up to grab his book, hoping that he could change that before leaving you tomorrow night.

After a few hours of work, you started to feel bad for ignoring Namjoon. He had been nothing but doting this whole trip and you hated yourself for having to finish this proposal this weekend. Feeling your brain turn to mush anyways, you stretched as you walked over to your suitcase, watching your boyfriend who seemed to be engrossed in his book. You felt guilty for avoiding his questions earlier but you could see how stressed he had been from work - in fact, Jungkook had told you as much over text last week when he shared that Namjoon had collapsed during rehearsals. You knew how empathetic he was, he would do everything in his power to make sure you were feeling good, so how could you burden him with your stresses when he had so many of his own. Sure this last month had been hell and you were barely functioning but if you told him that, you know he would worry about you, and you would rather bottle everything up than have him worry.

Reaching into your suitcase, you took out his favorite packet of ramen, hiding it behind your back as you moved over to stand in front of him.

“I got you a present.” You bent down till you were face to face as he looked up at you with a smile and kissed him gently.

“I think you’ve already given me this present.” He said as he cupped your face and kissed you again, lingering longer.

You laugh as you straighten up and pull the ramen from behind your back, watching his eyes go wide in excitement as he grabs it, his dimples poking his cheeks as he hugs you. You knew he always missed home when on tour even if it was just an Asian tour, and his ramen cravings were the top priority when he arrived back to Korea. You hoped this would cheer him up as you grabbed the packet and walked over to the kettle, starting the water.

“Speaking of presents, I was saving this for tomorrow, but now I’m excited.” He says before grabbing the slim velvet box from his bag and walking over to you, wrapping you in a back hug as you pour the seasoning from the packet into the cup of dry ramen. He puts the box in front you and opens it, making it now your turn to go wide-eyed.

Inside the box is a necklace with the most delicate gold chain holding a pendant shaped like a gold slice of pizza with pepperoni made of small rubies. It would seem tacky if it didn’t look so intricate. No one had given you a gift that was so you, and it made you speechless.

“I know it’s cheesy but I saw it in Tokyo and it reminded me of our first date, but if you don’t like it I can take it back and I’m sure I can return it, I mean they gave me a gift receipt and everything.” Namjoon knew he was rambling but you were eerily quiet and the fact that he couldn’t see your face made him uneasy. 

“It’s perfect,” you whisper as you turn around, your eyes glistening as you wrap your arms around his neck. He was alarmed. You never got emotional, even when you both watched Up together you barely showed any signs of being moved while he was sobbing. 

“It was meant to be for our 100 day anniversary next week but I thought I’d give it early.” He pressed his forehead to yours, drinking in your smile as he held you tighter.

“I’m literally the worst girlfriend. I forgot about that.” You frowned as you looked away before you looked back at him, your eyes wide. “Oh my god! I only got you ramen! What the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“Y/N… Relax. I didn’t get you a present for you to get me one. Plus I know you’re nothing without your calendar app. I swear you’d forget to eat without it.” He laughed trying to reassure you as he kissed your frown away. “If anything it’s Siwon’s fault for not programming it in there.”

“I don’t deserve you.” You sigh as you hug him tightly, making Namjoon’s heart swoon as you ask him to put the necklace on you. He does so, kissing the nape of your neck where he clasps it and telling you that you deserve the world. You wanted to tell him you loved him before you chickened out again but before the words could make it out of your lips his were against them.

Later that night, he feels even happier as he sees you wear it to the gala. Even though he knows he can’t hold your hand, the fact that you have a symbol of his love for you around your neck makes him giddy.

--------------------------------

“Joon, seriously. I have to get this done.” You giggle as he kisses your neck, moving the strap of your tank to the side as he continues lavishing you in kisses. Namjoon was impatient. He had spent the whole night watching you from afar. He’d be damned if he had to wait any longer to have you in his arms. Work can go to hell.

To say that Namjoon hated the gala would be an understatement. First, you and Yoongi ended up unintentionally matching, and he found himself irrationally jealous at the fact that his stylist didn’t choose the Louis Vitton outfit for him so he could match with you. Second, even though all the attendees were placed on tables according to country, you had decided to sit next to none other than Lee Seungmin, the creep checking you out at brunch, who wasted no opportunity to shamelessly flirt with you, even going so far as to put his hand on your thigh a couple of times. The number of times you politely rejected him for him not to get the hint made Namjoon’s blood boil, so much so that Jin had to poke him to relax his face lest the photographers captured his reaction. And lastly, when he had to watch you dance with some old men as you were too polite to refuse, while they leered at you. Through it all, Namjoon could just watch helplessly as you seemed more uncomfortable. Now that you were both back to your room and in your pajamas, he just wanted to hold you before all the jealousy and insecurity of the night caught up with him. He knew if he kissed your neck enough, you’d soon comply.

“Do it later. We only have till tomorrow. Let’s watch a movie together?” He gives you another kiss that makes your breath hitch, a soft moan escaping your lips. Before you can get too carried away, you move his head away from you, sighing and gathering all your self-control. If you didn’t finish this proposal today you’d be in big trouble - like losing a multimillion-dollar contract big trouble. As much as you wanted to just forget work existed, you had to take a two-hour reality check on this trip.

“I can’t do that. Please understand.” You looked at him softly, but Namjoon couldn’t help getting annoyed. Didn’t you yearn for him like he did at that gala? Were you happy to be hit on by those creeps?

“Are you seriously being like this right now?” He scoffed, pulling away from you, eyebrows knitted together. Namjoon couldn’t understand why you had to work right now. You had been apart for so long, didn’t you want to spend as much time with him as he wanted to with you?

“Like what? I told you I need to have this done by tomorrow.” He could hear the familiar edge in your voice. You were starting to get annoyed.

“Do you know how much groveling I had to do to get this weekend together and you’re going to waste it on stupid work?” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. You didn’t know he “groveled”, as far as you were aware this was part of his schedule. Why was he being so difficult all of a sudden? It’s not like you had a choice. Does he think you would seriously spend time away from him if you didn’t have to?

“Are you seriously mad at me for taking two hours, two hours, out of three days to finish some work?”

“Yes because these three days are all we get together for the next month.” Namjoon knew he was being stupid, two hours were not a big deal, but at the moment he couldn’t help but feel abandoned like somehow the scales in the relationship had tipped where the balance of affection was off. He cared so much for you, why couldn’t you feel the same?

“Oh don’t be dramatic. I will be done soon.” You snapped, your attention turning back to the screen. If Namjoon was going to throw a tantrum there was no reason for you to indulge him.

“Don’t dismiss me like that. You’re the boss, just tell the people to wait. Or delay it.” He walked closer to you, shutting your laptop, standing with his arms crossed. He wanted your full attention, and he was going to demand it. He hated how condescending you were being.

“Are you kidding me? I can’t do that. This is for a client.” You stand up facing him, anger flowing through you, indignation plastered on your features. Even though he was significantly taller than you, your glare could have made anyone feel small.

“Just do it later and apologize.” Namjoon knew he was being stubborn, but the reason for the fight was forgotten, he just wanted you to admit that you were wrong. As childish as it seemed, he wanted to win. 

“What the fuck? I have a whole company that I need to pay, I can’t just skip shit.”

“Oh don’t give me that bullshit. Missing one deadline won’t make you miss payroll - you’re not a struggling small company anymore.” That hit a nerve, he could see it in your eyes as they flared with anger. He would feel bad for making you angry if he weren’t so happy to get a reaction.

“The fucking hypocrisy. Sure Namjoon, have RM miss a concert. It’s okay you’re not a struggling small band anymore!” You poked him in the chest as you moved closer. He hadn’t seen this side of you before. You had never been angry with him before. You had never fought like this before. Your anger only seemed to fuel his. He had no control over his schedule, you did. Why couldn’t you understand that fundamental difference?

“That is not the same thing. You are overworking yourself for no reason.” He was talking with his hands, you knew he only acted like that when he was pissed, but you were not going to have any of this petty behavior. For all his bull and bluster about being a feminist, he’s going to pull this shit on you? His job is great and not stressful or busy but when it comes to you he’s going to pull the overworking card? When he literally collapsed during rehearsal last week and hid it from you? You were livid.

“You’re going to talk to me about overworking?” You laughed sarcastically, your eyes burning. “Oh is it not the same thing because it's my job and not yours?” 

“You know that’s not what I meant. Whatever. Fuck this. Enjoy writing your proposal!” Namjoon couldn’t argue anymore. He felt his anger rising to a point where he knew he was going to say something he regretted if he hadn’t already. Using his one remaining rational brain cell, he walked out of the room, not before maliciously slamming the door behind him.

“I will!” you screamed into the empty room, panting with anger as you picked up the water bottle on your desk and threw it across the room, tears in your eyes.

--------------------------------------

Y/N: Have you seen Namjoon? He’s not responding.

Yoongi: Isn’t he with you?

Y/N: No.

Yoongi: What happened?

Y/N: Nothing, we just had an argument and I haven’t seen him. It’s been two hours.

Yoongi: Okay don’t worry. We’ll find him.

Y/N: Thanks Yoongs

Yoongi: Where are you?

Yoongi: Hello?

Yoongi: Namjoon. Answer your phone.

Yoongi: Y/N is really worried about you

Yoongi: Listen Namjoon if you don’t answer in the next five minutes, I’m reporting you missing

Yoongi: Enjoy that press 

Namjoon: Stop calling me. I’m fine.

Yoongi: No. Where the fuck are you?

Namjoon: I’m just on the roof.

Namjoon: Please don’t come here. I just want to be alone.

Yoongi: Are you okay? Y/N told me you guys had a fight

Namjoon: I’ll be fine. Don’t tell her where I am.

Yoongi: Okay. Text me if you need a friend.

Namjoon: Thanks hyung.

Yoongi: He’s on the roof. He said he’s fine, but not to tell you.

Y/N: Thanks friend

Yoongi: You should go find him

Y/N: He doesn’t want me, there he made that clear

Yoongi: I’ve known him and lived with him for a decade, trust me. He needs you.

Y/N: Okay, but if we break up it’s on you.

Yoongi: Just go find him Y/N.

--------------------------------------

Namjoon rubbed his face as he sat on the rooftop of the hotel, his back against the railing. Replying to Yoongi he tossed his phone aside. He’d been sitting here for the past couple of hours his anger dissipating into guilt far too quick. Dried tears streaked his face as he tried to gather the courage to go back to the room. 

He was scared. The image of your angry face as he dismissed your work popping in his head. He didn’t know why he did that. He respected what you did, but he felt like a hypocrite. All his exes he dismissed when they asked him to take care of himself and not overwork. All the times they came to his studio to force him to leave, only to have the same look of anger that you gave him. He laughed bitterly as he pulled his legs to his chest.

At the edge of the guilt, he could feel it again, the same feeling he’d had since the comeback started, a sort of brain slush. Like a haze shackling him in place. He had felt it many times before but it was never this strong, this force of unproductivity, making him want to forget everything and hide. The stress of this comeback wasn’t any different than other ones. He always made it a priority to write new music in between promotions and shows but his creative block from four months ago was back and nastier. He could feel it gnaw at his neurons, forcing him to stay awake for hours after he should be in bed staring at a blank Ableton file. Usually, he could trick his mind out of this fog by working harder, but lately, it was like it was getting thicker seeping into every aspect of his life, painting his vision sepia, making every movement robotic. 

He remembers when encouraging messages from ARMY would make him happy, excited to make more music for them but nowadays it just made him feel guilty. He wasn’t doing enough for them, he couldn’t even string together a series of 808s without it sounding like a gimmick or worse like plagiarism. Last week he had fucked up so bad that his body shook from the memory. He had stayed up all night in some sick form of self-harm, scrolling through hate comments on Twitter then Reddit. He was never sadder to know multiple languages because even if the characters were different the messages were the same. He was a shitty musician, too overhyped by fans, his awards were bought by his company, his dances sucked, he tried too hard, and of course that he was too ugly to be an idol. His rational side would argue that these messages were meant to hurt him, his friends and you would comfort him by telling him they were lies, but he never told anyone about this habit, and his rational side often lost out. If anyone asked why he did this he would say to fuel another song, but he knew the real reason - he just couldn’t stop. So he stayed up all night till his eyes were dry and scratchy from staring at the screen, and had three espresso shots before the show even though he hated espresso, his body eventually giving out during rehearsals. He got quite a few lectures about that. A leader’s job is to set a good example. You have been doing this for so long, be a professional play in your limits. But there were no limits, not when it literally took a mantra of just “power through it” to get out of bed and shower.

He had been hoping this weekend would solve everything - that seeing you would solve everything. As he sat on the roof, the first few drops of rain falling on him, he curled in further into himself. It wasn’t your responsibility to make him happy, clear the fog, but you had done it the first day. His mind felt clear but it was gone too soon. He didn’t know when it happened but he could see it after a while that you didn’t feel the same way he did. You didn’t crave to be next to him like he did, speaking affirmations in his ear as he did in yours. Hell, even when you saw his ex for the first time, you barely reacted. Maybe it was the way you were so adamant that he not leave any marks because you might not be able to cover them this weekend, or the way you made sure to not sit next to him at the gala even when you were seated on the same table by some stroke of luck. You didn’t love him like he did, and he would be happy with scraps, but he couldn’t afford to miss you more than he did. He laughed again, cackling maniacally, as he realized where he was: a rooftop in the middle of a downpour, just because you once said rooftops had magical healing powers. There was nothing healing about being alone looking at lights shining in offices no one was in - it was lonely.

He was so desperate to feel anything other than this fog that even anger was a better option. Maybe he wanted you to put him out of his misery, leave him as he was sure you would eventually before he burdened you with more of his fucked up life before he relied on you further just to have his legs cut out from under him. He sighed, shivering even though the rain was warm, resting his head on his knees. Could he survive if you left him tonight, justly so?

“Joon…?” You call out as you reach the rooftop, searching for him through the rain.

“I told hyung not to tell you. I wanna be alone” You barely hear him mumble from the corner and you make your way over to the dark figure. He’s hunched in on himself, his arms around his knees, his face in his hands and it breaks your heart. Your boyfriend is a tall, broad man who can easily throw you across the room if he wants to, but at this moment, he looks small, almost tiny. It takes everything in you to not just go and wrap him in your arms. 

“Namjoon, what are you doing?” You squat in front of him, resting your hands on his arms. You wouldn’t usually push him like this when he seems distraught, you knew he didn’t respond too well to direct conflict but you needed him to let you in, your inherent need to fix going into hyperdrive. When he refuses to look at you, you cup his face and pull it up firmly to look into his eyes. He looks like he’s been crying and it makes your eyes well up. “Look at me. Why are you driving me away?”

With nowhere to run, all he can see is your face, your eyes puffy, red-rimmed and glassy, your nose a dusty pink. He made you cry. He made the person he was supposed to take care of cry because he got pissy over something she couldn’t control, something he was guilty of as well. All his guilt bit at his chest again and he hated himself. You didn’t deserve this. You should leave him. Why were you here in the rain trying to comfort him when he was such a useless asshole?

“Fuck... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice sounded hoarse and broken, and he knew all the apologies in the world wouldn’t make him worthy of forgiveness. He wished you’d just leave and let him wallow in the rain by himself - he deserved that. Tears filled his eyes and he hoped the rain would ensure they were invisible.

“Hey, hey. Baby, it’s okay.” You kissed him on the forehead, settling on your knees in front of him. His eyes were wide as he looked at you, his hands on top of yours, gripping your hands a little too tight.

“I… don’t know why I picked a fight.” He averted his gaze, not having the courage to look at you.

“It’s okay.” You move your hands to the back of his neck as he places his on your shoulders, opening his legs wide enough for you to move closer, your forehead against his as you caress the hair on his nape. 

“No, it’s not. Fuck! It’s like when I saw you yesterday I could finally breathe! I’ve felt so numb these few months but when I saw you, it’s like I could finally be happy.” He cups your face. He knows he needs to be honest but he doesn't know where to start.

“Joonie…”

“And then I could feel it escape again. I felt it. My head getting cloudy like I was slowly going underwater, and I don’t know… I just… I can’t ask you to be responsible for my happiness. It’s not fair to you. I can’t. I can’t.” He knows he’s not making any sense but his chest feels tight and he can’t fight his tears anymore as they mix with the raindrops on his cheeks. He can feel himself hyperventilating. He doesn’t know why he can’t tell you this without breaking down. What was wrong with him? Maybe that’s why you didn’t love him. Maybe that’s why you never got jealous because you knew he wasn’t worth it. How could he support you when he could barely stand by himself. He was so fucked up. 

“Joonie. It’s okay. Just breathe, okay? You’re okay.” You cradle his head against your chest, kissing the top of his head.

“I can’t lose you Y/N. I can’t be the jealous idiot that I always am and lose you.” He’s clawing at your sweater, pulling you closer than you are, making your eyes well up at his desperation. Why does he think he’s going to lose you? As far as you knew you had never given him any indication of that. You loved him and you couldn’t imagine a future without him.

“Namjoon. Look at me. It’s going to take more than a stupid fight to drive me away.” You pull his face away from your sweater and hold his gaze, his eyes red and still full of tears. The image breaks your heart but you hope you can convey your honesty to him.

“No, but you shouldn’t be with me. I’m fucked up, you know. You deserve better.” His actions speak otherwise as he holds your upper arms in both his hands tight enough to bruise as if you would disappear if he let go.

“Where is this coming from? Namjoon you’re not fucked up, you’re human. I don’t care how fucked up you think you are. I love you.” You look deep into his eyes, urging him to believe you. You had been trying to tell him you loved him all day but you always chickened out, but not now. You needed him to know that you were here for him. You were dying to know what started this, why he felt this way, but you needed him to realize that you had no plans of leaving.

“You… love me?” His voice was almost inaudible as his bottom lip quivered.

“Of course I love you. I love you - good parts and bad parts. I love 100% of you.” You kissed him gently, wiping at his face with your thumbs.

“Why?”

“Cause you’re you. You make me happy, even when you make me mad you make me happy.” You put your forehead against his again as the rain picked up, pelting the both of you. “Just don’t run away from me, please?”

“I don't deserve you. Fuck. I love you so much it scares me.” He kisses you at that, rough and full of yearning. It’s like the first kiss you shared this weekend and it makes your heart ache. Did he feel this way when he saw you again yesterday? Like he didn’t deserve you? You wished you could go into his head and learn all his worries - this did not seem like only work stress to you.

“Hey. I’m scared too okay? It just means it’s real.”

“How do you do that? How do you sound so sure all the time?” His head is on your shoulder as you caress his hair. It seems as if all the energy has been drained from his body as his grip on you loosens and you feel his weight lean on you.

“Because I believe in us. We’re Rapmon hyung and Y/N noona. We’re OTP, remember?” You lift his face and smile at him as he musters a small one of his own, as you kiss him again. “Let’s get out of the rain, okay baby?”

You both are drenched from the rain when you get back to your room, and you lead Namjoon to the bathroom. He just stands there, eyes glassy as you start a bath and grab a towel, drying the rain on his body. Once the bath is full and bubbly, you undress him and guide him in, discarding your own own clothes before climbing in behind him.

“I always sit behind you when we bathe.” He says, voice barely audible.

“Let me wash your hair, is that okay?” you say tentatively, kissing the back of his neck as he nods.

Suddenly, his head snaps up as he speaks loudly, a slight panic in his voice. “I have to use the special shampoo so the colour doesn’t fade.”

“Yeah. I have it right here.” You smile as he relaxes and you foam the shampoo on his pink hair, massaging his scalp gently. You take your time, washing it out before moving onto the conditioner, letting it sit as you massage his shoulders. You hear him sniff as you work at the knots. As you’re washing the conditioner off his hair, he turns at the waist, bringing one hand to your cheek as he looks at you. You realize he was still crying as your own eyes threaten to fill with tears.

“Thank you, Y/N. I… I know I don’t deserve this. Thank you.”

“Shh… I love you Joonie. You deserve this and more.” You kiss him gently on each cheek and then on the lips. You are not sure how to make him believe this but you hope he can see how much you love him as you wipe his tears. Namjoon’s never been this vulnerable with you, never given up this much control, and if you’re being honest it scares you seeing him this way. In a way, you feel helpless. You’re a fixer and there’s just no immediate way to make him feel better, you just have to make sure he knows you’re here for him. 

After you get dressed, he lays in bed as you do his skincare routine for him, running your fingers over his face gently. Namjoon hasn’t felt this way with someone before, so raw but soothed at the same time. He never shows his negative emotions to anyone. Right now it feels like his emotions are a livewire, but the way you gently tap the serums on to his skin, making sure not to miss a spot, he realizes how wrong he was. All the ways he convinced himself you didn’t love him were wrong. You don’t show love through jealousy or possession or even words. This is how you show love - in the quiet of your room making sure that he doesn’t go to sleep drenched from the rain, or skip his eye cream so his eyes aren't too puffy in the morning or at breakfast when you always cut the crust off his bread because he once mentioned he doesn’t like it. He opens his eyes as you say all done and sees you smiling softly at him, some of his confidence coming back. He smiles at you even though it’s difficult, and pulls you to his chest. As you lay on his bare chest for a while, feeling how tightly his arms wrap around you, an idea pops into your head.

“I want to come with you to LA.” You usually don’t make such impulsive decisions, but you could feel that he was not ready to be separated and you were definitely not ready to leave him, but you didn’t want to make him feel like he didn't have a choice so you add, “Is that okay?”

“What about your work?” He asks softly and you can hear his heart beat faster as he awaits an answer.

“I work from home all the time. It’ll be fine.” You rise up slightly to look at him, your chin resting on his chest, making sure to look him in the eyes. “I want to be with you.”

For the first time that night, you see him smile wide enough that his dimples poke through his cheeks and you’re sure you’ve made the right decision.

“I love you, Y/N. Thank you.” He pulls you further so you are fully lying on top of him and as you tell him you love him again, you feel his breath even out, both of you falling into a much need sleep.

-------------

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[albino-whumpee]

Forgotten

Taglist:  @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy @cowboysrappin @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread​ @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump  @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70​ @twistedcaretaker 

Please tell me if you´d like me to add or remove you from the list.

Revamped this little extra entirely. Hope you like it!

CW// Desrealization, dissoci@tion, PTSD, amnesia, conditioning, pet whump, creepy caretaker and some angst.

It was late evening on a Friday. An unusually lazy day, where Zarai had gone back home earlier than closing time. Although, it had become almost routine to take the long way home on Fridays.

When that happened she got in her car, put the radio and went around the city. Albus got weirdly excited whenever they passed something familiar, like a supermarket or the highway to work. Because it meant they were soon to get home. However, he also deeply enjoyed seeing new things.

The school with white tiles and the copper statue of a man in robes, or the library next to it with a modern glass and steel structure that allowed to see through the many students fighting to stay awake during finals week. 

He was marveled by the colors of all the small and big stores in the business district. He always tried to memorize their colors so he could draw them later. 

His glasses had now made the world clearer to him and used any opportunity to burn into his memory every sight. 

Albus particularly liked passing the park. If he stretched his neck a bit and squinted, he could see the lake hidden by a thick layer of trees. Somehow, it sparked a certain displeasure on the back of his head to catch a glimpse of water, but he loved the colors reflected in the water when the sun went down.

He was looking at the windows of a candy store when Zarai asked him the usual question on those days.

“Do you see anything familiar?”

He gave one last look at the intersection. The candy store in one side, the entrance to a larger building on the other and a newspaper stand in front of a coffee shop.

“No, ma’am” it was the answer most times. She would sigh and put her hand on her cheek before making the car move again.

He would then lower his head, rounding his thumbs over each other before looking out the window again. Trying to catch something that was familiar to satisfy his obviously displeased owner.

“Nothing?” She insisted.

“Only those, ma’am” he pointed to the signs that read the highway was 300 meters to the right. She sighed loudly before turning right. “I´m sorry”

“It´s ok, Al. I think is enough for today. We went north last week, so. Next week we will go a bit further to the west” she told herself. Albus nodded, wondering what exactly was she looking for.

He rested his head on the window, staring outside as the radio changed songs.

A metallic sound making the harmony of a guitar solo. Just before the battery started, his fingers were already tapping to the rhythm. In perfect sync.

It took a bit before Zarai caught him humming to the song. Lost in thought staring outside the window.

“...I am leaving. This is starting to feel like its right before my eyes. And I can taste it, it’s my sweet beginning“he whispered along, before the guitar riff pulled a smile on his face. “This was Annie’s favorite” Zarai glanced at him, surprised. She listened to his singing, waiting for a follow up of that Annie. But it didn’t come. The song kept playing making company to his humming.

“I can tell is what you want, you don’t want to be alone, you don’t want to be alone…”

Zarai tightened her grip on the wheel.

“But you’ve known it the whole time. Yeah, you’ve known it the whole time…”

She waited until the song was over to ask “So who’s this Annie?” She asked as she turned right to enter the road leading to a dreaded place by both. Surrounded by thick woods, WRU´s training facility poked through the tree tops and made the boy next to her tense up. 

She kept a tight eye on the road as her head made a movie that sparked up a slight pain on her back. However, she didn´t dare show that to the boy who looked as if he had forgotten how to breathe until they had crossed that part of the highway. 

Albus turned his head slightly to make sure they were leaving the facility behind with a hand settled on his collar. Twisting the buckles between his fingers as if trying to make sure it was indeed still wrapped around his neck.

“So” Zarai started, making the boy snap back at her “Who´s Annie?”

 Albus looked at her, puzzled.

“Annie, Ma’am?” He repeated the words, strange on his mouth suddenly.

“Yeah, you said that was her favorite song” Albus eyebrows furrowed slightly as he tilted his head, not understanding.

“I did?” He looked at the road and stayed quiet for a while, rummaging through his memories and only flaring up the pain behind his eyes “I’m sorry, I- I don’t remember, ma’am”

“It’s fine, don’t force yourself” she sighed, taking another look at him before pulling her eyes back to the rows of houses.

During those weekly strolls, Albus had told her intermittently something reminded him of Annie. The newspaper stand in front of the coffee shop was where he bought her comics. The statue, where they would meet if they got lost. The park was where they would go after school and stay there until deep night.

But every time, he forgot immediately he had even said anything. It wasn’t abnormal he tuned out after talking sometimes, but she wondered if it was just part of his training or if it was a coping mechanism to protect him from bad memories.

Regardless, she would wait for the day he would tell her something that stuck. Maybe something that would make him remember his Annie. Whoever that was. But she couldn´t help but wonder if it would stay as a broken fragment of his memory, unable to recall it properly forever. Like his name.

“Albus?” Zarai asked, tapping on the wheel. 

“Yes, ma´am?” 

She gouged his face, looking for something that showed he was uncomfortable, that it pained him to hear her call, but there was nothing but eagerness and a faint smile, just like when she named him.

“Are you hungry?” she changed the subject before pulling over to the mall close to their home "Let´s get something for dinner, yeah? It´s been a rough week and I´m dying to get something that doesn’t come in my diet”

“That would be amazing, ma´am” the boy said with unusual sincerity. The bags under his eyes were only getting darker as the days passed.

“We´re going to get you new clothes too. You basically swim in most of them” The boy blushed slightly as he looked down at himself. “It´s a good thing. I´m glad some fit you now”

“Are you happy with me, ma´am?” he suddenly asked her as she parked the car. It took her a second to smile back at him.

“Yeah, I am” she said and almost laughed when he saw his eyes spark “What about you?” the boy´s smile fractured “Are you happy here? With me?”

“I...I´m allowed a bed, and take hot baths, and have...friends. I´m even allowed to go out with my I.D. alone and earn money for myself” he started pointing out with a smile, but Zarai took a deep breath. 

“But are you happy?”

The boy´s smile cracked again and his eyes fell down before he quickly pulled them back up. The answer to her question took a bit longer to come out.

“I couldn´t be happier with my life as your Pet” the boy said in that broken record tone and a fake smile. The fog on his eyes only made it clearer to her he didn’t mean it.

“I see. I´m glad” she sighed before Albus stepped out of the car and rounded it to open her door for her. She reeled back the water on her eyes and slid down her sunglasses as she stepped out of the car and walked, knowing the albino walked one step behind her. Knowing he would never try to cross that distance.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Valentine’s Day Surprise - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 1)

*Companion to This Christmas 

**

You sat in front of your computer bundled up in your favorite hoodie and blanket combination. You made yourself some hot chocolate that you sipped on as you went over the changes you needed to make in your book. Your latest draft was back from your beta readers and now it was time to write yet another draft. 

It was in the dead of winter in London and it was currently snowing outside of your window. You would be much warmer if you were sitting away from the window, but you had to have a window view when you were writing. Plus, the snow was so pretty. You would always be a lot warmer if you weren’t lonely in the house, knowing your boyfriend was thousands of miles away in sunny California. 

Yep, that’s right, you and Harry were still together. Not that you doubted you would be, but it still felt weird to say. You weren’t living together yet, you still had your flat, while he had his massive home. But you did spend a lot of your time at his house or vice versa. Except the last few weeks since he’s been gone for work. 

You missed him, a lot, and it’s really been the first time you two have been away from the other since you got back into each other’s lives last Christmas. But he had a movie to shoot, along with various other things he had to do and you had a book to work on. 

Speaking of said book, you had spent nearly the entire day typing away and making the changes that were suggested. Even though the book was still not the best yet, it was without a doubt going to be your favorite book you’ve written thus far. And that had everything to do with the meaning behind it. 

It was about two friends falling in love during the holiday season, which is exactly what happened with you and Harry. Granted, you two were already in love, but it took some reconnection to finally get you two to express your feelings to the other. You knew when the book would be released and you were being interviewed about it, someone would ask you where you got the idea or inspiration for it and you would have to tell them. 

You wouldn’t tell them details or anything, not that anyone even knew you and Harry were together. Not really anyway. The two of you hadn’t really been spotted out together and even if you have, everyone knows your history of being friends, so the whole dating rumors haven’t really been sparked quite yet. 

You were fine with that for the time being. You knew how things got, at least from an outside view, whenever he was dating someone, so the longer you could avoid that the better. But you knew one day, it would come out and hopefully knowing the history you have with Harry will make it not as bad. 

Your neck was starting to hurt and your head was throbbing from looking at the screen all day. So, you decided to call it day and resume again tomorrow. You were halfway through with the revisions, which wasn’t normal for you, knowing you had just finished a draft not too long ago. But that’s what happens when you’re really passionate and don’t have distractions around. 

You shut your computer and headed over to the couch in the living area, plopping down right onto the cushions. You stretched out and closed your eyes for a bit, trying to give them a rest. In that moment, you wished Harry was there because you needed a serious massage of your neck and shoulders. 

After laying there for a few moments, you slowly started to drift off asleep, when your phone rang. You groaned, debating on letting it go to voicemail or answering it. However, when you glanced over and saw Harry’s photo, you decided on the latter. 

You clicked on the green button and soon Harry’s face was looking back at you. 

“Hey, baby,” he smiled. 

“Hi,” you yawned, sitting up at a better angle. 

“Were you sleeping? Is this a bad time?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing. 

“No, I was just resting my eyes,” you said. “Too much screen time today.” 

“Remember, you’re supposed to look 20 feet away every twenty minutes for twenty seconds,” he said. 

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t have time for that.” 

“You do,” he laughed. “Just set a timer on your phone or something.” 

“Easier said than done,” you said. “You know if I’m in the zone, it’s hard to stop until I’m at a stopping point.” 

“Well, then don’t complain if you’re not going to do it,” he smirked. 

You rolled your eyes again, “I wouldn’t have to worry about it, if I had someone here to rub my shoulders.” 

“You better be talking about me and not just any someone,” he raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course, I don’t want random people touching me,” you shuddered. 

He laughed. 

“But seriously, how much longer till your back?” You asked. 

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, “A few more weeks, at the least... another month or so, at the most.” 

“I thought you were almost finished,” you said. 

“We are, but then there’s some reshoots and some stuff we’re doing for promo,” he said. “Plus, I’ve got some meetings out here for the next album.” 

“So, then I guess this means we won’t be together for Valentine’s Day,” you whispered. 

“Not in person, no,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, love.” 

“No, it’s fine,” you sighed. “I mean... it’s not that big of a deal. Its not really genuine holiday and I’ve never really cared about celebrating it before... but like I don’t know, I just thought maybe it would be fun. Plus, I miss you.” 

“I miss you, too,” he said. “I promise we’ll figure it out, okay? We can facetime or zoom. Watch some romcoms and eat chocolates.... maybe have some fun on camera,” he smirked. 

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I don’t trust technology that much. I don’t need someone hacking in and starting an Only Fans with my pictures!” 

“Have you been watching Catfish again?” He asked. 

“Yes, but I’m using it for research for another novel idea I have,” you defended. 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he joked. 

“Anyway,” you said. “I guess us having a little virtual date wouldn’t be a horrible option. It would be better than not doing anything at all.” 

“Then it’s settled,” he smiled. “We’ll come up with something fun to do and pick a time that works with the time zones and it’ll be as perfect as it can be, okay?” 

“Okay,” you nodded. 

“Great, I just wanted to check in and tell you I love and miss you,” he said. “So, I’ll let you get back to resting your eyes and watching Catfish.” 

“Ha, ha,” you said. “But I love and miss you, too.” 

“Good,” he smiled. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Okay, see you later,” you smiled, blowing him a kiss before hanging up the phone. 

You sighed, placing the phone down as the realization of Harry not being coming home for another few weeks hit you. You knew this would happened. It’s what has happened throughout your entire friendship, but you thought you had grown and it wouldn’t hurt as much. 

But you were wrong. It did hurt knowing you two wouldn’t be together for Valentine’s Day. Even though you never cared about the holiday before, this year felt different. You wanted it to be this amazing and special day spent with the man you loved. The man you had waited years to finally be with, but now it was going to happen through a screen and him miles away. 

**

Harry felt bad the second he ended the FaceTime call with you. Even though you had put on a smile, he knew you well enough that you were disappointed. Him not being around was part of the reason why your friendship ended the first go around and he made it his mission to never let your relationship end because of that. 

He loved you. You are his person and he just got you back into his life. He didn’t want the possibility of you leaving it to ever cross your mind. He had to come up with something to make sure he was there with you. Valentine’s Day was in a little over a week, surely that would give him enough time to figure out a plan. 

“Harold, hello,” a voice called out from behind him. 

“Oh, what?” He asked turning around to see his manager waving his hands around. 

“What’s got you out of it?” Jeff asked. 

“I uh... I just finished talking with Y/N,” he sighed. “I told her I wasn’t sure when I’ll be back... and she mentioned missing out on Valentine’s Day...” 

“Well, I mean it is just Valentine’s Day,” he pointed out. “Many people don’t do anything on the actual day anymore anyway.” 

“That’s easy for you to say,” Harry shook his head. “You’ve been in a relationship for years. This is our first one and Y/N... she’s not normally someone who falls into the whole Valentine’s Day thing... but I could tell she ws looking forward to doing something.” 

“Why can’t she just come here, then?” Jeff suggested. “Her schedule is a little easier to move around right now.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked. 

“I didn’t mean it to come out like it sounded,” he said. “I just meant that what you’re working on has to be done here in LA... she’s working on something that she just needs wifi and a laptop... that can be done anywhere.” 

“Yeah, but I’m the one gone... I shouldn’t have to make her uproot her work,” Harry said. 

“Look, do what you want to do, but I’m telling you there’s hardly anytime to travel to London and back with your schedule the way it is,” he said. 

“Gee, you’re a wonderful help,” Harry rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeff responded, holding his up. 

“I told her I’m going to figure something out and I will,” he said. “If I have to move or postpone things around, I will. Y/N’s important to me and being with her will always be my priority over a meeting that can be an email or postponed to a later date.” 

“I get that, Harry,” he said. “But you can’t always be the one who does that or else you’re going to end up being resentful.” 

“You know, I thought you were happy Y/N and I were together, but now it seems  a lot like you wish I was single,” Harry snapped. 

“I didn’t say that,” Jeff said. “I just know how you are, H. At the beginning of a relationship, you’re doing everything to make it work, and eventually you get tried of it and things go south. I know how much you love, Y/N and I don’t want to see it end because I don’t know if you could come back from that.” 

“I’m so confused right now,” Harry said. “You don’t want me to change my schedule around to go see my girlfriend because you’re afraid I’ll be doing too much and eventually I’ll break it off?” 

“Just think about it,” Jeff said. “If you do this for Valentine’s Day, then what if she expects it any other time. Will she ever be the person who changes her schedule around for you, or will it always be you because you have the most on your plate.” 

“Y/N isn’t like that,” he said. “She’s not even asking me to do this.” 

“No yet, at least,” he said. “But once she realizes that you can...” 

“No, I done listening to this,” Harry said. “You know one day, I’m going to get married, right? And I’m going to have kids, right? So eventually, yeah, I’m going to have to change my scheduled or not do things because I need to be with my family.” 

“Exactly, so why waste opportunities now?” Jeff asked. 

“Because opportunities will always be there to take, Y/N may not be,” Harry said before grabbing his things and walking out the door. 

**

Sooo... what do you think? It’s been a while since I’ve felt like writing... so hopefully it isn’t too bad. 

[taliaquinn]

Why Me!? Chapter 16

A/N: Hey peeps, I hope you guys enjoy today's update. I hope you guys like the fact that I uploaded so soon. Also I have a lot of oneshot ideas however the tricky part is actually WRITING. Who knew am I right? 

“Kaalki quick open a portal to that old alley, It’s better to transform there, Tikki you can finish Game of Thrones later” Marinette ordered a previously napping Kaalki, while pulling out a miffed Tikki from her mini-room in the closet. Tikki was almost done with the first season of Game Of Throne. The only reason it was taking so long was mostly that she had to watch it whenever Marinette wasn’t around due to uh reasons.

“Priorities much?” Marinette teased, quickly making a fake sleeping Marinette on her bed in case someone checked on her.

She quickly leaped through the portal, after appearing in some Paris alley she quickly ducked behind the dumpster and transformed into Ladybug, and made her way to the Attack.

To no one's surprise she was facing off with Lady Wifi again. Except for this time she was busy tracking down her ex-boyfriend Nino who had broken up with her over text. Ouch. Good for him regardless. The darker part of Marinette was pleased. He came to his senses. Finally. 

Unfortunately for her Lady Wifi was pissed, which made taking her down harder. She had to leave to recharge, Chat showed up during the last few moments but still proved himself useless by getting frozen by Lady-wifi somehow. Luckily Ladybug was sadly used to this and left him frozen. 

Quickly ducking to the side she delivered a blow to Alyas' side. Throwing her yo-yo she managed to tangle Lady Wifis legs, causing her to drop her phone. Ladybug quickly scooped it up to destroy. Seriously, what was it with this girl and her obsession with phones? 

Purifying the Akuma, she used the Miraculous Ladybug to instantly repair all the damage. Releasing a heavy sigh she turned to face her ex-best friend. To her disgust she was facing a pouting Alya and a smiling Chat. 

The instant that Alya saw Ladybug she immediately stood up and ran towards her, 

“Oh my gosh Ladybug thank you for saving me, I don't know what Nino was thinking breaking up with me like that, he KNOWS how mad I get” she said huffing out a laugh. 

Oh. my. god. She was trying to make it seem like Nino was at fault! Marinette was furious. She was acting just like Chat!!! Marinette is going to need so much therapy after all of this is done.

“Alya, you need to apologize to Nino,” she finally told her. “and afterward leave him alone, you have to respect his decision and space.” She added. They might not be friends anymore but that didn’t mean that Marinette didn't care about Nino. 

“L-L-Ladybug, you don’t get it, he broke up with me for no good reas-”

“It was a good enough reason that he felt the need to do it through a text” gesturing towards Nino's home she added “and as it turns out he was right to do so”

Alya huffed, “You just don't understand Ladybug”. She moved away from her and took out her phone to begin live streaming. 

She made her way towards Chat noir who was standing on the side watching the whole exchange a bit nervous. “Chat Noir, Are you aware of a certain girl named Marinette who got caught on camera criticizing you, when she had no right to mind you, about your most recent actions?. Do you have anything to say in response to it?” She asked pointing her phone camera in his direction. 

Chat Noir immediately leaped at the chance to defend himself.

“W-well like you said she had no right, what could she know about the struggles of being a superhero, heck I even had to save her a couple of times and that’s how she thanks me?’ He mentioned facing Alyas' camera. “Honestly I think she’s just jealous and mine and m’lady's partnership, but what can you do am I right?” he teased.

“What partnership chat?” Ladybug cut in. No way was she letting rumors spread when she was standing right there. 

“M'lady's just jealous as well,” Chat said with a wink

“Oh for Pete's sake” Ladybug pulled Chat away from Alyas prying eyes (and cellphone) and yo-yo away without a goodbye to the blogger.

A few rooftops away she finally plopped down and released Chat none too gracefully. The look on Chat noirs face wasn’t the charming one he was displaying for Alya and her Camera, he had the nerve to look annoyed.

“What was that?” He spit out

“What was what hmmm?” Oh she was annoyed now too.

“Al-that Cesaire girl has been your biggest supporter since Day One. You just don’t know what's going on with that Cesaire girl”

“I do, her boyfriend broke up with her because he was involved in an extremely toxic relationship” She stated, “I have to make sure she understands that, she’s trying to shift the blame!!!” 

“And what was that about our partnership, you sounded like you agreed with that Dupain-Cheng girl” He complained annoyed “That's cause I do”

“WHAT!?”

“You said it yourself Marinette could never understand the pressure cause she’s not a superhero, I on the other hand AM,” Not to mention they were one and the same but he didn't have to know that, “frankly you’ve been lacking in the superhero department if I can show up for every Akuma battle why can't you?” 

“Because I have a life unlike you” 

“Pfftt I am an independent business owner who still manages to be a stellar student AND I manage to handle Akuma attacks alone more often than not, what about you?”

“What does that matter? Marinette's gotten to you hasn’t she? You know she's been sent away for assaulting a classmate?”

“That's weird from what she told me she quit” she shouted “really chat you should leave the manipulating to Rossi and Cesaire”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK, I DONT MANIPULATE” He screamed at her. Why was it that everyone was turning against him lately?

“You’re right, you only do that after you try everything else to make yourself seem good” Ladybug finished staring back at Chat noirs infuriated green eyes, His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked the angriest he ever had. 

Staring at him Marinette came to a realization, she took a few step backs “We’ll talk later” She jumped off the roof and started making her way to a specific location.

Batcave                                                                                                      Wayne Manor, USA                                                                                      12:30 pm

“Master Dick I must ask you to please refrain from breaking your ribs in the future” Alfred sighed, Luckily Batman was able to arrive in time to stop Nightwing from getting kidnapped or worse. Red Hood quickly arrived and hauled an unconscious Nightwing to the Cave.

Batman, Red Robin, and Robin were currently spread around Gotham and Bludhaven trying to track down any stragglers. 

“Sorry Alfie, I’m way too cute for the criminals to stay away” Dick mumbled sleepily

 “-humph- Regardless No patrolling for 6 weeks,”

“You hurt me, I hope you know that Alf” He joked. Eh, they were all fast healers, he’ll probably be back on patrol in 4 weeks. 

“Heya Alfred, Now that Dick is alright I am going to head back out” Jason said adjusting his gloves and strapping his knives in place.

“Before you leave Master Jason please pickup the Tupperware filled with food I have left for you in the kitchen, And please escort Master Dick to his room for rest” Alfred knew good and well that his charges love not listening to doctors, er butlers, orders.

“Thanks, Alf, Comere Dickwad” Helping Dick up from the cot “but I don’t want to,” Dick whined. “Tough luck”

Making there way throughout the manor, Dick suddenly stopped “Marinette's room is right there, lemme check on her” 

Jesus sometimes Dick can be more of a mother hen than Bruce “Come on Dickface, It's almost 1 am any sane person will be asleep by now” he said tiredly but a part of him wanted to check up on her too. Curse these big brother instincts. “Fine only a peek”

Once they stumbled to the front of Marinette's room, Jason gently cracked open the door seeing Marinette sleeping he moved aside to allow Dick to take a peak. To Jason's shock Dick unwrapped his arm from His shoulder and pushed open the door, stumbling to Marinette's Bed. Quickly pulling off the sheets he revealed a bundle of pillows under the blanket. 

Marinette wasn’t in her bed.

 “Crap”

I just Love cliffhangers, don’t you guys love them as well? I am asking that you guys please message me any prompts you would like for me to write for my one-shot series. Else I’m just going to keep making sad angsty one-shots. Stay Safe and Healthy guys <3. 

Feel free to reblog,like and comment :)

Taglist:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @kass-is-weird @another-fan-of-anotherplan @damianette-is-life @amayakans @parallelparabox @miukiiu @valeks-princess @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @thezestywalru @dreamykitty25 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @mochinek0 @shamefullove @mochegato @souleateralicestein @thestressmademedoit @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @aestheticnpoetic @mysupporthyperfixations @itsmeevie01

[ppatpranss]

GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 04 Review: Finding someone you can be alone together with

“Dahil taga-rito ka rin.”

Gaya Sa Pelikula is pretty much my fixation the past month, and I’ve reached peak devastation after Friday night’s episode. Being reminded that love is a beautiful thing can either make you happy or sad, or both. While it is true that there is nothing wrong about being alone, and that our feeling of completeness should not depend on another person, it still hits different when you find someone you can come home to. Or, in Vlad’s case, slowly realize that home might be Karl.

This show tells us that love is often a slow progress, that you don’t really find it in big moments. It’s in the small, everyday thing you notice or discover about a person. And maybe sometimes, all you need to get through a day is something as simple as a hug (something sorely missed in this time of pandemic). Karl and Vlad, thank you for that reminder.

Disclaimer: I kinda messed up the gif qualities for this post. Since I’ve no time to fix them now, I’ll just do better for the next episode huhu.

[WATCH THE EPISODE HERE]

Law of Proximity

It’s the day before Christmas and Karl is decorating the place. He’s obviously enthusiastic about it because he had garlands, table pieces, and a whole Christmas tree with star. Even cuter, he made two Christmas socks with “KARL” and “VLAD” on them. I can’t believe this kid – he’s letting Vlad slowly assimilate into his life and he doesn’t even realize it.

Anyway, Vlad comes home and is obviously not a fan of the decorations. He made this whole argument about Christmas being a pagan-turned-capitalist tradition, while Karl can only tell him to not be too harsh to baby Jesus (lol). Vlad disputed this even more, making a comment about how Jesus is way too forgiving to be a Capricorn. Despite himself though, Vlad was smiling while looking at the socks and told Karl before he left, “Hey, Arki, if it means that much to you, you can keep the socks there.”

Note: He calls him “Arki” as in short for architecture because Karl is an Architecture student.

We learn a bit more about Vlad in this episode during his videocall with Sue, who we discover is his best friend. She was teasing him about his current “live-in partner” and Vlad launched into this pretty affectionate way of describing Karl and his many quirks. Karl is a very neat person, but hates washing the dishes. Vlad also finds it cute (but he didn’t say this, I’m doing the honors for him) whenever Karl would get excited every time they watch a film together. All of these, Vlad is saying with a big smile on his face, and ending it with a hopeless sigh-like, hay nako. Sue caught it.

Sue tells Vlad about the law of proximity. She made an example of it through Big Brother wherein some people end up being in a relationship because they spend too much time together. Vlad deflects and says he’s not about to fall for a straight guy, “I refuse to be a plot device that triggers somebody else’s identity crisis. Not again.” Nonetheless, it’s good that Sue opened this up because feelings can get really tricky when you spend so much time with a person even if it’s just a short amount of time. Actually, it feels like you’re in a time warp.

Naturally, Vlad sees a lot of things about Karl that he may find either endearing or annoying. It’s obvious though that he finds Karl endearing and he, too, is starting to catch feelings. His reservations are preventing him to make a move, not just because he thinks that Karl is straight but mostly because of a past experience or trauma. He can’t be brave about just putting himself out there so he’s trying to proceed with caution.

Sue still encouraged him to try to invite Karl to spend Christmas with him instead of wallowing alone watching white boy Sundance films (I’M DEAD. I love Sue so much). Vlad actually looked like he’s considering the idea even if he was being a baby about it the entire time.

Theme Song Test

Meanwhile, Karl is also pre-occupied when Anna knocked on his door to use the WiFi. She’s on the phone with a client, visibly mad that they are forcing her to rush the output. This went on and on with Karl just watching her pace around the house. After the call, Anna immediately jumped on the idea of them watching a movie together.

Moments later, Karl and Anna are seated on the couch crying over what is obviously She’s Dating the Gangster. Anna tells Karl that she’ll use the restroom first and it is in this moment when Vlad finally arrives. He must have gotten used to seeing Karl crying at films that he is not really surprised to see him in tears now. It’s cute how he got all fidget-y while trying to ask Karl that maybe they can have a proper Noche Buena, “Tayo. Noche Buena. Together.”

Karl tells Vlad that he needs to go home for Christmas, and that he’ll carpool with Anna. “Who’s Anna?” says Vlad and that is when she popped out to introduce herself. Her presence in the house pretty much stirred conflicted feeling on the side of in Vlad especially when she decided to stay over for another film.

Another movie ends and Karl and Anna are still seated on the couch. Vlad looks hilariously miserable watching them together. Is it even safe to say that Karl and Anna are being flirty? I don’t know, they are mostly loud and touchy the entire time but maybe Karl is really just comfortable around her. Nonetheless, it was so funny seeing them in their elements talking about random things while Vlad is constantly rolling his eyes at anything that Anna says to Karl.

Anna then talks about the theme song test. Apparently, when you listen to a song and a face of a person comes on to your mind, it means you want to be with that person. Karl says he’s never experienced it because he does not like anyone at the moment anyway. Vlad looks so done with them already, but he especially acted out when Anna was about to make Karl listen to a song to do the test. Vlad started getting whiny over the unwashed mugs and Karl is still clueless about his true intention. Even as Karl tries to stop Anna from leaving, she got the hint and said goodbye.

Karl tells Vlad to stop nagging about the unwashed mugs and he had a biting comeback that Karl is not the only one who can get mad about dishes and mugs piling up. Karl thinks that Vlad is acting jealous because he’s putting up an act for Anna, then tells him that Anna knows about them anyway. This agitated Vlad more, and when Karl was telling him to drop the jealous boyfriend act, he actually said “Who says I’m acting?”

Both of them were taken aback and there was this one long painful second before Vlad saved himself by adding, “Angry. Who says I’m acting angry?” Thankfully there are dishes and mugs to wash otherwise he would have made a complete mess of himself right then and there. As usual, they continued to banter with Karl touching Vlad’s hair again to annoy him.

One of the things I liked about this episode, by the way, is the presence of both Anna and Sue. We got to see a different side of Vlad and got to know him more through Sue. When we thought Anna will simply serve as a jealousy bait, she actually helped propelled the romance more by telling Karl (and Vlad by extension) about the theme song test.

“The ever-burgeoning need for people vs the effort put into self-preservation”

Vlad wakes up looking for Karl but of course he’s no longer there since he went home to his family. Vlad pretty much spent the entire day on the couch and was already getting drunk come the evening. He keeps sending Karl messages but is left on seen. He even sent him a couple of selfies. When Karl still hasn’t replied, he sent him a video of him jokingly attempting to ruin the Christmas decorations. Finally, Karl called, and Vlad got really excited about it.

It’s probably because he’s drunk but Vlad keeps on making these little moves on Karl – asking him if he thinks he’s cute, and that he wants Karl to pick him up. But the video call ended as soon as it started because Karl needed to join Noche Buena with his family.

A call from Ate Judit came in but he did not answer it. Then, when his phone rang again, he finally answered it. It was his mother. It’s interesting to me that Vlad would answer this call because of course, what we know so far is that they are not in good terms. But I suppose the holidays really make you soft and set aside any feelings of anger if you can at least have a moment of conversation with someone you still value with your heart. There’s a gut punch when Vlad actually said he’s having fun with friends to his mom, when he’s all alone in the apartment. And to make it slightly more painful, the call ended with an “I miss you.”

Vlad opened his message thread with A. Right then and there, a birthday greeting appeared complete with an “I miss you” (Please, lumayo ka nga Hudas! #OustHudas). He did not get a chance to reply because Sue called and it made him visibly happy. He opened the gift she sent him only to discover that it might have been switched with Karl’s gift to his parents because the content was a framed sketch of his family. As the night wears on, you feel Vlad wallowing more and more into his aloneness.

Nica del Rosario’s Tahanan plays as we see Vlad look around the house, feeling how empty it is. The lights are shining around him, but they don’t look bright at all, at least for Vlad. We see a montage of him dancing around the house, and when he finally checked the content of the VLAD Christmas sock that Karl put up for him, it has a gift inside. Turns out, it was slippers with a note, “Dahil taga-rito ka rin.” He saw another wrapped gift and it was another one by Karl this time with a note, “Bahala ka na kung sa’n mo ‘ko ilalagay” and it was a picture frame. Vlad looked so happy and was hugging the picture frame.

I think that Vlad is a sucker for gestures, of having someone who seems to know him and care for him. I liked seeing Vlad in this state of being alone and lonely. It was personally heartrending to watch, but it tells us so much about what he is as a person. He is fine being alone. I think it’s how he’s operated throughout the years of discovering himself. True, he has an overbearing-but-caring sister in Ate Judit and a wonderful best friend in Sue and they know so much about him, but it’s also the reason why it’s not easy for him to open up about these things. I think that when you go on for so long being “someone” for a specific person, your tendency is to continue putting up that act. This is not to say that Vlad is faking who he is, but that there’s this difficulty for him to fully express himself around them. So seeing him being open about this hollowness that he’s been feeling especially on his birthday was a welcome narrative.

It's that dilemma: your need for people to completely understand who you are, but also just as you are about to bare yourself, you automatically put up these defenses to kind of preserve that little piece of you to yourself. But in a way, you’re expecting someone to get a read on you – that maybe someone would see you even if you don’t offer that piece of you so voluntarily. I think that is Karl for Vlad. Karl takes him by surprise every single time by doing all these gestures for him, or when he overhears what he has to say about him. I suppose that at the end of the day, you just want to find someone who effortlessly gets you.

Theme song test: Tahanan

As Vlad stands in the middle of the living room hugging the picture frame that Karl gave him, he sees Karl come in through the door. Karl walks towards Vlad, and Vlad puts down the picture frame and also walks towards Karl for them to meet halfway. They have this giddy smile on their faces and for a while they were just staring at each other. Until both of their faces start to get closer and just as you think they’d go in for a kiss, they hugged. Both of them smiling, looking comforted and relieved. One thing of note as well is seeing them brush their hands up and down each other’s backs to hug tighter. Tahanan continues to play and the camera moves in circle around them (this scene is a nod to GOT 2 BELIEVE), until we settle back to Vlad standing alone in the living room, and what he was hugging was the picture frame and not Karl.

I am specifically in love with the part of the song that Pat Lasaten chose for the moment when Karl came in. I’m sorry I don’t know much about music, but I am referring specifically to timestamp 22:39 to 23:02. The main song kind of took a bit of a stepback and there was what sounded like a saxophone solo (?) that accentuates it. That was pretty genius because it really moves the scene. It highlights the magical feeling of Vlad finally finding Karl’s face in the midst of the song – someone who he wants to be together with. Extra painful though that after all that music swelling, you end up with a shot of him hugging a picture frame.

I agree with Justine when she said during the Friday night Banlaw sesh that she likes that they went in for a hug instead of a kiss right away. It feels more intimate and more sincere. It feels more sensual. Also, it fits the current pace of Karl and Vlad’s story because these are two people still discovering each other. It also hits different because hugging a person means offering comfort. In Karl and Vlad’s case, it highlights their thing of finding homes in each other. In Episode 03, Karl offered Vlad a home by giving him back the key. In that moment, Vlad accepted it because it was already attached back to his keychain. But in this episode, and through this hug, we see Vlad fully embracing that this is now his home. He isn’t just accepting the key to come and go as he pleases. He now wants to stay there.

The shot of Vlad hugging the frame always gets to me. Amazing camerawork and good music timing. I cannot watch it without crying because the feeling of loneliness really felt raw and palpable. This, and the hug, made everyone soft and fragile while watching the episode last night.

Being alone together

Vlad wakes up the next morning with a different set of clothes. All of the Christmas decorations are gone but we see balloons and an entire HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner hanging. He looks around a bit and when he turned towards the kitchen, Karl was there standing with a stack of pancakes. This time, it’s not a dream.

Both of them looked sheepish the entire time. Vlad was obviously touched and was even apologetic about bothering Karl the other night. Meanwhile, Karl joked and called him “Mr. Jockstrap” because of the switcheroo that happened with his gift and Sue’s. Vlad asks him what happened to the Christmas decors, and Karl just said “meh” and imitated Vlad’s “Jesus is too forgiving to be a Capricorn.”

The entire thing was just adorable. They were just smiling throughout, and Karl told Vlad to finally blow the candle on the pancake stack to make a wish. We don’t know what the wish was, and I’m not even sure we’ll ever know. Gege mentioned that he told Ian to make a personal wish for both him and Pao during the scene.

As usual, Karl and Vlad settled on the floor with chips and soda to watch a film. This time though, Vlad is not watching the film because he’s watching Karl. Vlad watches Karl dip his chips on the soda before eating it. As always, Karl gets so absorbed with the film, almost in tears now, as he mindlessly eats a huge piece of chip much to Vlad’s amusement. At one point, they both reached for the bowl and their hands grazed each other. Karl momentarily looked at Vlad’s direction, and so does Vlad towards Karl – but Vlad’s look lingered and a small smile forms across his face. It was his aha moment, I suppose.

I find it pretty amazing that both Karl and Vlad understood their feelings in a sort of unexpected way because it was so… mundane and normal. For a show that has a lot of these big moments, it sure takes a quiet approach when it comes to feelings and I love that. Because it is so quiet, you don’t really notice it creeping inside your heart. It kind of just fills you in until it’s completely embracing you and you understand it, right then and there, that well, I guess this is it.

Apparently, it’s not really about washing the dishes. It’s really about the good they do for each other every day. Nothing felt more apparent to Vlad than Karl’s absence. The law of proximity builds familiarity and in those short few days, Vlad did not just get used to Karl being around, he yearns for it. I could say the same for Karl, too, seeing as he rushed home to prepare all these things for Vlad. But for now, both of them do not know it yet.

To reference the Wattpad screenplay, all this time Karl thinks that he was the only one waiting for Vlad to look back. But, who knows, maybe Vlad was waiting for Karl to look back, too?

Epilogue

In the last three episodes, it was always Vlad moving closer towards the couch. Karl was always seated at a specific side, not moving at all, but he would always throw glances towards Vlad. This time though, we find Karl seated on the floor beside Vlad.

The episode ends with a powerful quote yet again, “kapag may tinuro sa’yo ang pag-iisa, yakapin mo.”

Comments; Ramblings

It’s funny how Episode 03 launched a friendly bardagulan on Twitter between Vlad Austria Apologists (VAA) and the Vlad Austria Fault-Finding Committee (VAFFC). But the truth is, both Karl and Vlad are the actual clowns for each other and we’re just here to witness them fall in love and watch their connection go deeper.

Personally, in terms of a solid episode, my favourite is still Episode 03 because it had all these elements that moved the story along and built up to that amazing Selos ending. It was something else. However, Episode 04 was the one that made me feel the most (so far). I had a hard time processing it after watching it the first time and unlike the last three episodes, I could not rewatch it right away. I mostly just felt weak and I might have cried a little. Maybe because it reminded me so much of what it is like to fall in love – that indeed love is still a beautiful thing. Sometimes we use being alone as a defense mechanism to feel less alone, but at the end of the day we also crave for someone we can go home to. Karl and Vlad’s feelings continue to unravel and that makes me think about how, as we fall in love, we also discover a lot about ourselves.

To me, this is what’s happening with Karl and Vlad. As they learn more about each other, they also discover a lot of things that they don’t know they’re capable of. They find themselves doing things they never thought they will ever do or feeling things they thought they’ll never feel again. I’m curious how they’ll really meet halfway. For now, I think Vlad is more of the type of person who needs to confirm with himself first if he truly feels romantically for someone before he takes action or shows these soft and caring side of him. Meanwhile, Karl seems like the type to act first before thinking about why he does these things. Maybe it’s just the way he is – a pure-hearted good person. I just hope he’s ready to answer the question when it gets asked.

For now, I appreciate this slowburn.

–

Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel. Please only stream it legally!

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[padawan-jiejie]

My Choice [3 / 3]

Summary: You are Anakin’s twin sister and Mace Windu’s apprentice with forbidden kind of interest in Master Kenobi. You’re there to witness your brother’s turn to the Dark side and have trouble dealing with the consequences. Five years later, you visit Obi-Wan on Tatooine…

PART 1   |   PART 2

Word Count: 5.8k

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, ptsd talk, talk about regrets, angsty!reader, but also comforting!Obi and fluffy!Obi and baby!Luke + one more character has a cameo and overly fluffy ending  the reader is a bit of a crybaby in this one, sorry

A/N: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG - I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE!!! Also I haven’t read the comic about Obi-Wan and his time on Tatooine so… I just hope all of you are doing the best you can and enjoy 💖💖💖

Tagged:  @retrobhaddie​ @multi-madison​ @treestarrrrrrrr  @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lysawayne

Five long years since the tragedy of the Jedi. Since their failure and the purge. After all those years, here you were. Flying in your stolen ship, fleeing away from your inevitable destiny. You ran out of supplies and had to take a break, stop somewhere safe. You had a planet in mind, it was close and you were certain no one from the Empire would be looking for you there if you don’t stay for long. It was the hole of the universe after all. But somethin- no, someone was calling for you to land there. So you set the coordinations to Tatooine. You used your connection to the Force to find the perfect place to hide your ship nearest the pull you sensed. You shut down all systems and took a deep breath. For the first time in years, you would step into the harsh, dry and sandy grounds of the planet you were born on. It wasn’t your home for a long time and you felt bitter and nostalgic looking outside. Yet as you were sitting there in the cockpit, you saw a familiar cloak walking towards your position from behind a mountain. At that moment, all your worries and doubts faded like a mist.

You ran out as fast as you could and stayed staring at the figure few feet away from you. Your heart was beating quickly from the excitement and when he pulled his hood off and looked directly into your eyes, it definitely felt like coming back home.

“Y/N?”

“Obi-Wan…”

Your voices were nothing but a whisper. A whisper that told a million words and more. Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing there in front of you and it was like yesterday when you said your last goodbyes. And he was stunned. He came to the conclusion that it was very likely he would never see you again in his lifetime after Order 66. He never quite made his peace with that and couldn’t believe in what was happening. He thought he was hallucinating. There you were, in all your beauty and grace. Your y/h/c hair was messy, y/e/c eyes red from fatigue and your brown robes dusty. Even like that you still managed to look as elegant as always.

Kenobi took a hesitant step towards you, fearing that you might disappear any second. You didn’t. He took another step closer and you jumped into his arms.

“I’ve missed so much, Obi-Wan!” You blurted out as tears of joy started streaming down your face. You held onto him tightly and sobbed and cried your heart out. As he came to reality, he too embraced you and buried his face in your neck. It wasn’t just a dream. You were indeed here. In his arms. Right where you belong.

“Y/N… I am so happy you’re actually here. You can’t imagine how bad it was being alone like this!” He lifted you up and spun around before putting you back on your feet.

You dried your tears, while he was holding you close to him by your waist. “Master Jedi, I… You… Just… Me…” You spent hours thinking about all the things you wanted to talk about with him but now as you finally had the chance to express yourself, your own mouth was failing you. You could not even make up one proper sentence.

“I-I’m… Umm… It’s been so long.”

“I know, I was afraid I would never see you again. I’m so glad that will not be the case.” He said with a blissful expression. You smiled at him and he kissed your forehead, sending a warm feeling to rush through your body.

“Obi… I could sense you. With the Force, I sensed you. I think.”

“I sensed you too. That’s why I came. I thought I was losing my mind. What would you be doing here, right? But now I see that my senses have not abandoned me yet.”

“No, they are still pretty decent.”

“Oh, decent you say? Well, what are you doing here anyway? I guess you’re not just stopping by to say hello to an old friend.”

“Actually, I ran out of supplies so I need to get some food and stuff. And I think I need to check this beauty for any damage.”

Obi-Wan frowned and touched his beard. “That is not the ship Bail Organa had given you. What happened to it and how did you get this one? It looks ancient.”

“Yeah, you really don’t wanna know how I got that. Maybe I’ll tell you later but it’s a long story that I don’t wanna get into right now.”

“If you think that would be for the best, I’ll leave it be. But come on. We’ll go to my little house and I’ll get you something to eat.”

“That would be so nice! I am starving! Um, but I shouldn’t leave her here unguarded.”

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing will happen to it. Trust me. And if anything does happen, I have my methods of getting it back.”

“Alright then. But um, I actually call her Soka. Because of the blue and white stripe there on the side.” Obi-Wan paused for a second, then smiled. With one of his arms around your shoulders, you two walked over to the house that he was apparently now living in. The place looked poor and you couldn’t help but think about the Jedi quarters you spent half your life in.

“That’s a whole another level, Kenobi. Even for you.”

“There wasn’t really much to be picking from.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’ll get you some soup.”

You sat down near a tiny window and pulled your legs to your chest. The heat reminded you of your childhood. How you used to help your mom with cleaning, cooking and then would go to play with Anakin and the other local children. Looking back at it now, you could tell that as much as it sucked, those were good times. Just you, your mamma and your big brother Ani. You signed at the thought, pictures from the past running through your head. Padmé, the handmaidens, Qui-Gon and young Obi-Wan with his cute padawan braid. He certainly did not enjoy it when you hopped next to him and started playing with it, asking him questions why is he letting grow only so small piece of his hair. A sad smiled appeared on your lips as you remembered the moment you met. He didn’t really believe in neither you or Ani and none of you could see how important you would become for each other. What a wonderful team you would make in the future. It wasn’t fair that it all fell apart out of nowhere.

“Here you go,” Obi-Wan said, holding out a bowl of soup, waking you up from your trance.

“Thank you.”

After you finished your meal and your stomach felt better and you and Obi-Wan were sitting next to each other, both trying to get a grasp of this situation. You haven’t seen each other in 5 years and it didn’t look like you accomplished much. Quite the opposite. Former Jedi Master looked dragged from his current life, you could see the wrinkles forming on his face. He looked a lot older now. For you, it was your eyes. Obi-Wan remembered how they would always light up whenever you had some crazy idea or simply when you were happy and oh, how he loved your smile! Your eyes had a sparkle in them whenever you smiled or laughed. Now? Your eyes felt cold, tired and filled with sorrow. As if you’ve grown tougher during the time of your separation. He pointed that out.

“That’s because I had to grow up. Suddenly I had no one to look after me and as you know my entire life I had someone by my side. Whether that be my mom, my brother or my master or… Padmé or you. Life had been hard on me, Obi. That’s just how it is. In my core, I feel the same but on the outside, I lost a lot of my faith. But don’t play it on me. You’re damaged too.”

“I am not denying that.”

“Speaking of which, how do you like living on Tatooine?”

He laughed. “Like isn’t the word I would use. More like tolerate. But as you can see, I manage. Nobody’s visiting but sometimes I go to check up on Luke - much to your step-brother’s distaste when he notices me.”

Obi-Wan would swear on the Force that as he mentions Luke’s name, for a split second your eyes filled with that spark he thought you lost. Maybe you weren’t that doomed after all.

“Luke? My nephew? How is he? Is he tall already? I mean, I know, he’s 5 but is he okay? Are they taking good care of him?”

“Not to worry, milady. They are maybe too protective of him but he’s not actually lacking anything. He’s in good hands.”

“What does he look like? Does he have brown hair like Padmé or is he blonde?”

Obi-Wan was amused by your interest in your nephew. He knew you would ask him about Luke but he didn’t realise how eager you would be to find out more about him. “As far as I am concerned, he is blonde. He’s just like his father with blue eyes and I am sure he’s going to be an excellent pilot. Not like someone.” He gave you a side-glace and you looked at him in disbelieve. Is he really challenging me like this?

“Of course! Make fun of my flying skills! You know, I got better since the Clone Wars and I no longer crash-land as you could see back there.”

“I am never going to forget the moment when you almost killed us while landing and Anakin turned at me and said: ‘See, master? And you complain about my flying!’ I will always remember the face you made! And you didn’t want to talk to us the entire day.”

“You two totally deserved it! Don’t try to sugar-code it!”

“Silent treatment never resolved anything, Y/N. Besides, you could have us all killed.”

“No, we are not going down that road. I did save you so shut it, Jedi! I too have some tricks up my sleeve - you are not as perfect as you think you are.”

“Oh is that so? I thought I was being completely irresistible!”

Your body unintentionally reacted with a flush on your cheeks to his statement. Mostly because it was absolutely true and thanks to the fact that you ran out of ideas of how to out-sass him, you just proclaimed: “Okay, I give up.”

“And what were you doing this whole time? I suppose, you still don’t want to tell me the story behind the ship.”

“Well, no. But I was mostly just moving around the Outer Rim. Nothing too special. I wanted to stay off the radar for as long as possible and I think I was quite good at it. You know, putting my stealth-mastery into practice once again. You wouldn’t be proud of me though. I tried to be true to what I was taught since I was nine. To be a good person and to protect peace in the places I went to and I tried to suppress my emotions about all this but… I couldn’t do that. I thought that the Republic were the good guys and I thought that the Jedi, although not exactly always right, were too the good guys. We had each other’s back and now all of that is gone and call me stupid or naive for having hart time adjusting to that. Sometimes it just gets too rough and too much to take, knowing that all of what I was fighting for tumbled down… I’m sorry, it’s just been getting to me lately.”

Obi-Wan put a hand on your shoulder. “I understand. It wasn’t easy for neither of us but it was worse for you. I know how miserable you were when Yoda told you that you should stay out of Luke and Leia’s lives.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s bothering me.”

“What is it then? I am here, you can talk to me about anything. I might not have the solution but I am listening. If that’s enough?”

You were tense. How would you tell him this? How were you supposed to say it out loud? You could still see it in front of your eyes and it was haunting you in your dreams. Never in a million years would you thought that this would happen. After all that you’ve been through you thought he knew better and a part of you still felt like he didn’t deserve it. You closed your eyes to calm yourself down.

You swallowed. “Have you felt… something? Even if it was just in the back of your head…Do you know anything about Anakin?”

Now Obi-Wan knew what you meant. His hand rubbed your back as he sighed. He heard about him a couple of weeks ago. Anger, sadness and helplessness were boiling inside him. He thought Anakin died on Mustafar and when he overheard that Darth Vader was actually causing some problems out there in the Galaxy, he was horrified.

“I found out some time ago. I couldn’t believe it.”

You bit on your lip to stop the sobs coming out from your throat. Salty water blurred your vision. Your heart was aching. You somehow always felt that he wasn’t killed, the feeling of your brother was still present but to learn that he is now a huge threat in the galaxy was not only shocking but also tragic and traumatizing. You blinked and teardrops fell down. You quickly brushed them away and took three deeps breaths.

“Forgive me my sentiment but… It’s hard to deal with that because I remember all those times during the Clone Wars and despite the fact that it was a war, it was actually… Some of the best time of my life. We lost our friends, we were shaken and not once and we risked our lives for a better cause and we were heroes thanks to that but we… We had each other. Me, Anakin, Padmé and you. Even Ahsoka and Rex and Cody! It felt like a family. Yeah, a very dysfunctional family but… It was something to let you know where you belong… Where home is. If I wasn’t on a mission with Ani and Snips, I’d be with Padmé or you, just having the time of my life. It wasn’t perfect but if I knew what was to come, I would certainly more appreciate it then! Now I just…” You covered your face in your palms, crying. “I wish I could just forget that this is happening.” Echoed your voice from behind your hands.

Kenobi felt your despair and pulled you into him, letting you cry your feelings out while holding you in his arms. He himself didn’t exactly process the events yet, but he knew that you needed his support right now much more than he needed yours. He waited for you for five long years and he was ready to wait for next 50 if it meant he could see you one more time. Now he didn’t want to make your issues seem smaller because he felt betrayed too. He wanted to help you get through this so he kept on rocking you back and forward until you looked up. He caressed your cheek and lightly kissed your forehead. He was well aware of what your supposed family meant for you so he decided to let you feel like you still have at least a part of it. Because you do. Dispite his Jedi teaching, he would never let you go.

“Tomorrow I’m going to take you to see Luke. Owen will probably throw us out but if it is going to help you, I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it, Y/N.”

You melted into his embrace and listened to his heartbeat. He was a soothing presence to you. He’s always been. After getting over your depressive emotions, you found a warm feeling creeping up from inside you. You buried it deep down so it wouldn’t bring you pain while you and Obi were apart. As you were so close there, it was coming back up to the surface. This time, though, there was no Code, no Jedi Council, no forbidden attachments to make you feel wrong about what you felt. Obi-Wan sensed this change in mood and smiled to himself. He felt it coming back too.

After you both showered - separately, may I add, we’re not there yet - and changed into more comfortable clothes, you decided to go to sleep. He insisted you keep the bed to which you replied: “Obi-Wan, there’s no way you’re sleeping on the floor and I want to feel like I am not alone in here so just… Are you up for cuddles? Please? I need my cuddling buddy back.”

He just shook his head in amusement and didn’t say anything. He couldn’t reject you at this point. Not to mention that when you were together on missions to deal with some Jedi business with no one around, snuggles were on a daily basis. Although I must say, there was one time when Anakin appeared out of the blue, saw you two getting way too close for friends and wouldn’t shut up about it for a week. It was kind of cue though.

Obi-Wan tugged himself under the sheets next to you on his not-so-comfortable bed and lay on his back. You put your arm around him and placed your head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and calming. Even though you were tired, you couldn’t close your eyes to fall asleep. You had to wonder what is Luke like and what will you feel when you see him. You held him once when he was born and couldn’t help but wonder if he is Force-sensitive too. It would be only logical.

“Obi-Wan?”

“Umhm…”

“Do you think that Luke and Leia should be raised to be Jedi?”

“Well, I hope so. I don’t know about Leia but Luke is so much like Anakin when he was a child, it would surprise me if he wouldn’t grow up to be one.”

“Who’s going to show him?”

“I am. If you’ll stay, you can help.”

You tighten your grip around him. “I don’t know. The problem is that I and Ani had such a bond through the Force and I still feel him and I fear that if I stay here, he may be able to find me.”

“Why would he come back to the planet that represents everything he despises? Slavery, his mother’s death, sand.”

“I know but he had the chance to kill me before as a Vader and he didn’t. What if the Sith have some plans with me? What if they want me to turn to the Dark side?”

“I highly doubt that would happen.” He protectively put his arms around you. “Mace Windu taught you about the Dark side and when they could turn you to it completely, they had no interest in doing that. Why would they suddenly change their minds?”

“I don’t know. I guess you’re right but the possibility of hurting you or Luke is making me go nuts.”

“I understand that but again, Anakin knew that even with your knowledge of the Force and with our feelings for each other being strictly against the Code, you stayed loyal to the Order. Even now when things are so uncivilized, you still decided not to turn, that shows your strength and even if Vader senses you, he will see that.”

“You mean he would rather kill me than try to turn me? Yeah, cool, can’t wait.”

“You know what I meant. You don’t need to worry about him. If he comes, which he won’t, he’ll have to get over me first, anyway.” He kissed your hair and whispered: “Good night, my love.”

You spent so much time in space and on cold planets that now walking around the sands of Tatooine was an absolute horror. You were sweating and thirsty and the two suns high on the sky were blinding your vision. You and Obi were on your way to Owen and Beru’s moisture farm. You never saw or met them but Ani told you about them. He blamed them a little bit for not searching for Shmi and you couldn’t help but feel the same. You were sure they were good people but at the same time maybe if they did something more, your mom would be still alive. You knew these thoughts were not the Jedi way but let’s face it, you and your brother were never the perfect examples of the Jedi.

Obi-Wan stopped and pointed into the distance where you could see a small dot on the horizon.

“That is where they live but maybe you should go on your own. Owen isn’t really fond of me and if you arrive alone and say that you are his step-sister, he’s probably gonna let you in. I’ll wait for you somewhere here.”

“Okay. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome but umm, I changed my name.”

“You changed your name? To what?”

“I call myself Ben Kenobi now.”

You sighed. “Satine used to call you that.”

He just nodded and you smiled at him. She meant so much for him when they were young that you understood why he did that. He wanted to pay her some tribute. Besides, you would have done the same if you were at his place.

“Well, Ben, wish me luck.”

He squizzed your hand and started to walk away. You swallowed and walked the other way, towards your distant family house. You were nervous and excited at the same time. You desperately wanted to meet Luke but you didn’t know what would Owen and Beru think about you being there. As you almost reached your destination, a sight in front of you made you stop in your tracks. There was a little blonde boy sitting in sand playing with some droid parts. He didn’t seem to notice you so you stood there amazed. He looked exactly like his father. You felt tears of happiness mixed with nostalgia burn in your eyes. You covered your mouth as Luke’s toy fell apart and he mumbled under his breath. You sniffed and made your way to where he was sat.

Luke turned around startled. “Hello. Who are you?”

“Hi…” you whispered, gaining strength to speak more. “Umm, you’re Luke Skywalker, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. But I asked you first.” He made a grimace of childish anger and you had to smile. You dropped to his level and held out your hand. “My name is Y/N Skywalker.”

His expression changed. Obviously he knew that name and kept on wandering his eyes between your hand and your face. 

“You are my dad’s sister?”

You nodded.

“Uncle and aunt told me about you. They said you would never come.” He took your hand and held onto it.

“I am sorry. For everything. I am so sorry, Luke. You were supposed to live with your parents somewhere else and enjoying your life very differently.”

“I like it here.” He was genuine but you knew that one day this place would be too tiny for him.

“Okay.” You stroke his cheek and you sensed the Force in him but he pulled away.

“I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”

That hurt. You were a stranger. He didn’t know you and even if you loved your nephew so much, this was the first time he saw you.

“That’s right, you shouldn’t. I hope that one day I won’t be a stranger to you anymore but for now… It was lovely to meet you, Luke.”

“Sure. It was lovely to meet you too, umm…Should I call aunt Y/N?”

“That’d be great.”

“What would be great?” 

Both your heads shot up as you heard a voice. There was a man with scruffy in grey robes and he looked mad.

“Luke, come here.”

“It’s okay, uncle. This is Y/N. She’s my dad’s sister. You told me about her.”

You stood up and Owen frowned at you. He shook your hand, though he was suspicious.

“Luke is telling the truth. I am Anakin Skywalker’s sister and just came to say hello. I never had a chance to properly meet him and I stopped by and I couldn’t go without meeting my nephew. You too. From what I understand, you are my step-brother. Thank you for taking care of the boy.”

Owen crossed his arms over his chest. “Kenobi told you where to find us?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No. I’m glad that we finally met but I don’t want your Jedi stuff anywhere near Luke. His parents had life bad enough and I don’t want him to get hurt like they and you did.”

You blinked confused. You sensed Luke’s connection to the Force and you knew he would become aware of it sooner or later. “We got burned. Many times, I admit but neither Ben Kenobi nor I mean any harm to him or to you.”

“I believe you. On the other hand, why add insult to injury?”

A sandstorm was raging outside. You were supposed to be on your way by now but something always came into it, making it impossible for you to leave the planet. You’ve been living with Obi-Wan for 9 days now and as much as you were scared something unfortunate was going to happen because of your sibling bond, you couldn’t deny how your mood improved over time. You finally had a moment to breathe, to live, to drop the worries because when he was around simply being himself, it was so easy to forget the reality. It would come back to hit you later but when he was telling you stories, he heard in the Mos Eisley Cantina and you two would laugh, it didn’t matter. When you two cooked and tried to combine both of your (anti)talents, sometimes it resulted in friendly arguments and spilt tea. At night, you would fall asleep in each other’s arms only to wake up to the warmth of the body next to you and the calming feeling of safety. If there would be anyone to witness it, they’d say they’re watching a married couple doing normal things. It felt right being there, being like that, although it was a bit strange at first. It made you feel wanted, welcomed and loved. It gave you a sense of much-needed belonging. Little did you know that Obi-Wan felt the same.

It was already late at night but you couldn’t sleep and the sandstrom made you feel uncomfortable. It had been 15 years since the last time you experienced one and you didn’t like remembering it. It brought up old fears to the surface. Lucky for you, though, former Jedi Master managed to stay up as well to keep you company.

“Will you finally tell me where did you get the ship?”

You smirked. “From a friend.”

“A friend? What friend?”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“I am not! I am just… curious.”

You turned to sit on the bed face to face with him. “We’re not the only survivors of the Purge. There are more Jedi in the galaxy.”

“I knew we couldn’t be the only ones!” His eyes filled with hope.

“I met a guy called Kal Cestis. He was a padawan when it happened. He helped me to get my new ship. Not exactly new but better than nothing since my original one broke down.”

“Hmm… Interesting. Do you know anything about Ahsoka?”

“Unfortunately no. I haven’t seen her anywhere. Not that I’ve been to many places but if she’s alive, she’s hidden well.”

“I don’t think she gave up like that. She must be somewhere out there.”

“I really hope that she is. I miss her.”

“We both do,” Obi replied and caressed your cheek. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. It was an intimate moment that you decided to delve into.

Obi-Wan was watching you, trying to print this image in his memory. He never wanted to forget you and the way you made him feel. It was precious and sacred to him. You were captivating, graceful and he was thanking the Force every day for bringing you back into his miserable life. He didn’t deserve you and yet he never wanted to let go off you. He couldn’t. He knew it was selfish of him to want you all for himself but he was too attached.

“Y/N?”

“Um?” You opened your eyes to look into his. You were cantured by his intense gaze and your lips parted. You weren’t used to him staring at you like that as if you were the most devine creature in the galaxy and your cheeks turned the deepest shade of pink.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your stomach flipped and your held your breath for a second. You blinked several times before placing your hand over his, still resting on your cheek. “Yes.” was a simple word but there was so much more behind it.

Obi-Wan lowered his head to your level and cupped your face to pull you to him. You couldn’t believe it. After so many years of loving this man and having to hide it, you were able to finally express it. You waited for him to softly press his lips to yours. It was sweet, slow and filled with so much emotion. All of the unsaid ‘I love you’s, all of the suppressed feelings, all of it finally blossemed into this special moment. Electricity ran through both of you at the slight touch. It was new and you couldn’t quite put a finger on this feeling inside you. It was your first kiss after all! Obi-Wan was your first crush, first love, now first kiss and most definitelly he was going to be your first also in another way.

He pulled away to see your reactions but you didn’t let him. Your hands shifted to his neck and brought him back to you. He started kissing you properly this time and let himself loose. Deepening the kiss, he found himself hovering over you and soon you were lying under him. You both laughed as your back hit the bed. He kissed you one more time and lay down onto his side next to you. You stared in his eyes that reflected all the kindness in the world.

“Y/N, I know where you stand, I know Master Yoda told you to stay away from Luke and Leia and I know that you’re afraid what would happen if you stay here longer but please. We’ll figure it out somehow… I love you, Y/N. I have for years now.” He brushed your hair out of your forehead and played with it for a while. “I can’t let you go after this. I won’t. I wanted to be with you for so long and now that we are finally allowed to be ourselves freely, I am begging not to go. Please.” 

“I have already made up my mind and I am not backing up.”

He kissed the tip of your nose to shut you and took your hand in his. “Yes. It is up to you in the end. I can’t make decisions for you, I know. I don’t want you to go but the last thing that I do want is to be forcing you into something. Even if you'll leave… I promise that I will wait for you. I have waited ages, I can wait a little longer. I’d really rather not but you are worth it, stars.”

“Obi-Wan…”

He smiled sadly and it broke your heart. He was giving you freedom even when he was lonely. He was fully aware of your stubborness but this time you gave in.

“You are the love of my life. You’ve always been. I have loved you so much all this time and I always will. I want to stay but I am too scared that something’s gonna happen to you or to Luke so I… I thought about it and…” You squeezed his hand. “I decided to cut myself of from the Force so that I could have a life with you.”

“What?!”

“I have made my peace with it. I am like a beacon to Vader if he decides to search for me, this is the only way I can have what I want. You.”

Obi was staring in disbelief. You just decided what your faith was going to be and Obi-Wan was the happiest man alive. He was shooked at first but soon happiness and pure joy took over him and he hugged you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You pulled him even closer to you as you let the sandstorm outside be completelly forgotten. 

It’s been about a week since you and Obi were living officially together in your new home. It wasn’t ideal nor perfect but hey! What is in this galaxy, right?

You were walking hand-in-hand from a town where you successfully sold your ship, Soka. It was a little sad since she reminded you of your adveture with Kal and of your friend Snips but at the same time, you were most likely never going to need her again. Hopefully.

The two suns were shinning bright, tanning your skin. The course and rough sand was cracking underneath your weight as you walked. The dry air made you thirsty and at some point you couldn’t help but cough. You two were wandering around the place without putting much thought into it and before you knew it, you pauzed.

“Won’t we reach the spot were you first landed on Tatooine if you continue walking that way?”

“I think we will.”

“So this is where it all started. The Skywalker’s journey straight to the botom!”

“Not straight.”

You gave him a you-know-what-I-mean look.

“I’m just teasing. Sorry, Y/N.”

“You always are, I don’t mind but... Actually, you know what? I think I want to change my name too.”

“What? Why? Your name is so lovely!”

“Because it is my choice, not yours, mine. I guess I want to asociate myself with something different. I want to disconnect from my past and focus on the future. Luke’s gonna carry on the Skywalker legacy. It wouldn’t fair if no one carried on yours. Besides, Y/N Kenobi sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?”

Obi-Wan was staring at you with open mouth. “You want to take my last name?”

You put your arms around his shoulders. “I do. I mean, you’re not getting married but still you can take this as a sign of my devotion. I truly, deeply love you and I want to be all yours - body, soul, even the surname.”

He didn’t know exactly how to react to that, so he just crashed his lips onto yours. He was astonished. “I love you so much, my sweet Y/N. You are the greatest thing that happened to me. Although not the name, I am yours too. Body and soul.”

You pulled him into a tight embrace. People passing you by were giving you strange looks but it’s not like any of you cared. You simply stayed in the moment, forgetting all your worries. It was a promising day for you two, after all. Promising for your relationship but most importantly it meant a new start. It was an enterance to a brighter state of existance and a new stage in life. A stage where you could finally be a little selfish and build a life for yourselves. A life where your and Obi’s love, was the only thing that mattered.

[queenmaracasandlove]

Love Of My Life Series - Ben Hardy x F!Reader - How They Met

Word Count: 4500

Summary: Y/N works in her local hotel when a film crew arrived to stay there, making her take a break from her book. 

Warnings: Mention of break up and layoff.

A/N: The ‘Love Of My Life Series’ will be a series of short One Shots featuring members of the BohRhap Cast x Reader. Although you will be able to read them indepedently, they will all follow the ‘same couple’ if that makes sense. I got a little carried away with this one... Sorry !

MASTERLIST

gif found on @rogermeddow​ ‘s blog

Y/N was not really happy to be working in that hotel, it was not exactly how she had planned her summer. She was supposed to be in Ibiza with her now ex-boyfriend. To be honest she did not even want to go to Ibiza in the first place. She was dreaming of much simpler thing, a road trip in Ireland. But now she was stuck in her hometown, working for the local hotel while Jack was enjoying the trip she had paid for. 

Everyone around her was filled with excitement and all the town was talking about was how a big hollywoodian production was going to be filmed in their modest village. But Y/N was absolutely not thrilled. All she wanted was some peace and quiet, some time to figure out her life and move on to the next chapter. Working in the hotel used to be her summer job when she was younger, she worked there during holidays and whenever she could and was needed from her sixteenth until she eventually finished her studies and found a suitable job. 

She had lost everything in the last few months. First her job, the small company for which she was working faced bankruptcy and only a few weeks after she found out her boyfriend of two years was cheating on her. She had tried to stay in the big city but without an income and with the pain, she had agreed to go back to her parents’ house, at least for the summer.

She thought she would be able to do as she used to, work without really working. Saying hi to the old couples who were used to stay here every summer, greet the new customers here and there, help with cleaning the rooms when there were more than 10 rooms occupied (the hotel only had 24) and spend most of her times reading books behind the reception desk. But now she would have to deal with a full hotel and help with the restaurant during the week-ends. More money but more trouble. 

The crew was supposed to arrive today. Rumours were saying that the biggest stars would stay in the hotel as they would feel close by and the rest of the crew - number of rooms being quite insufficient - would stay in the nearest bigger town. Y/N was not really in the mood for divas and their demands. As much as she pretended like she did not care, she had taken a few extra minutes to get ready on that morning. 

She was so deep into her reading that she did not hear the footsteps in the lobby. Her feet were on the desk and the bookmark between her teeth as her eyes were rapidly going from one word to the next one. 

‘Excuse me’ a voice echoed in the room

Taken by surprise, Y/N almost lost her balance on her desk chair. A blond man was standing in front her. He looked amused and uncomfortable at the same time. Y/N almost cursed but knew how to remain -at least when not taken by surprise- professional. 

‘Welcome to the Katherine’s’ she greeted him with a smile ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I’m… Well I’m Ben Hardy. I’m working on a film and…’

‘Oh yes. Absolutely.’

Still smiling, she looked at the computer. This thing was so old she thought, the owners -Katherine and Georges- were nice and their hotel was enough for its regular customers but some things deserved to be updated. Thankfully, she had managed to convince them to invest in better WiFi coverage. He had looked surprised that she did not who he was. But Y/N was not a big cinema fan, she preferred her books and did not care if it had hurt the blond man’s feelings. 

‘Indeed’ she said, spotting his name ‘Room 13’

The rest of the exchange was quick and polite. Y/N kept smiling as she gave all the necessary information and Ben walked towards his room as the next customer was entering the hotel. People kept coming in all morning and Y/N completely forgot about the blond man. 

                                             ---------------------

Everything had been so crazy for the past few days that Y/N barely had any time for herself. She was used to work without really working but now there was an uninterrupted stream of people coming in and out of the lobby. Everybody seemed very busy but to her greatest surprise, most of the crew was also extremely polite, some of them even remembered her name. Still, she was so happy when she heard they all went early when she arrived on that morning. Apparently they needed the morning light for a scene -Katherine was aware of every little detail- and would not come back before the afternoon.

Y/N finally had some time and enjoyed the warm sun on the back terrace, a book on her knees. This new book was not very long and if it was interesting enough, she hoped to finish it before having to go back behind her desk. And indeed it was gripping, so much so that when she finally looked up -the need to go to the toilets being too strong now- her heart skipped a beat upon noticing another person on the terrace. 

It was the blond guy, the first member of the team she had checked in. He pinched his lips seeing her almost falling but she knew he wanted to laugh. She wanted to hide away but she suddenly panicked. What time was it? Had everybody come back already? Did he need anything? It would not be the first time that she would not be behind the desk because she was hiding up here but Katherine probably would not be that understanding this time. She looked at her watch but it had only been forty-five minutes since she had come here and it was only quarter to eleven.

‘I am so sorry’ they both said at the same time

He scratched his head as she played with her bracelet. She was so surprised by him apologizing that she did not know what to say. 

‘I didn’t want to disturb you’ he went on

‘What? No… I thought that nobody was around. I am sorry. Do you need anything?’

‘It’s fine. I wasn’t needed this morning so I stayed in bed quite late. I just wanted to enjoy the sun.’ he smiled

He did not seem upset. Y/N did not move although she wanted to run back behind her cherished desk and pretend to work as if she did not want to hide away for the rest of her life. But it was as if she was hypnotized by the man. She properly looked at him this time, his broad shoulders, his luscious lips and his mesmerizing eyes. For what seemed to last much longer than reality they both looked at each other, without a word being said. It seemed like the sun had warmed their skin all of a sudden, or maybe was it something else. 

‘I…’ she hesitated ‘I should go back inside. If you need anything, please ask’

‘What’s your name?’ he asked

‘Y/N’ she smiled ‘Enjoy the sun’

She almost asked for his name, but before doing so she was hiding behind the curtain of the lobby, her hand over her mouth to hide a smile. She went to sit but was unable to focus on anything for a while, this encounter had got her completely unsettled. She eventually decided to do some work and overlooked the planning of the week. Once it was done she almost hesitated as her hand was reaching for her book but as she was doing so, she saw the man coming back inside. 

‘Mr. Hardy, can I do anything for you?’ she asked as he approached

To be perfectly honest she had checked his name on the registers when he had come back inside, remembering that he was in room 13, one of the best ones. 

‘I was just heading back to my room’ he politely said

‘Of course, yes’ 

‘Is it interesting?’ he asked’

‘Excuse-me?’ she frowned, unsure of what he was talking about

‘The book you’re reading’

‘Oh, it’s alright’ she smiled

‘What is it about?’ he asked, looking truly interested

‘Well’ she started, surprised ‘It’s about two children who are sent to Australia in the 1930s’

It looked as if he was going to say something but his phone started ringing in his pocket. He apologised and answered the call. Y/N looked back to her computer, heat rushing through her body. She could not remember the last time someone had asked her about what she was reading. Usually people did not mention it or told her that she should live in the real world and not in between pages. But when she was reading outside he had just sat, making no noise and truly seemed saddened by the idea that maybe he had interrupted her in her activity. She tried not to listen to the conversation he was having on the phone and he left the hotel before even hanging up and she saw him getting in a car. 

                                                  --------------------- 

The blond guy did not reappear before the end of YN’s shift that day. She tried to no think about it too much but she found herself eavesdropping as she was shopping in the local supermarket. People were talking about the film and for the first time she was interested in what was said. Apparently the actors where quite famous and they had been seen in the village this week, an information that was not particularly interesting to Y/N. She didn't even know what the film was about. She sighed and after paying started heading home. She wanted to pay a visit to the local charity shop before going home for good. She had finished her book as planned and wanted to see if they had received anything interesting. There was something about second hand books that she loved. The idea that this object already had one, even several lives maybe, that this story was being shared. She always looked for traces of the past owners, dog-eared page -although she hated doing this herself-, spilled tea or coffee, forgotten bookmarks, sand -she always imagined these books being carried around during someone’s holiday, most probably unfinished and sometimes, dried teardrops marks. 

The shop was quite small but she knew it so well, most of her purchases in her younger years had been made here. She was greeted by one of the volunteers and made her way towards the books. There were often some recommendations from the people giving their time to the shop but Y/N rarely paid attention to those. Still, one of them intrigued her ‘the book that is being turned into a film in our own little parish’. She raised her eyebrows and picked the book. She knew the name of the author but she had never heard about this particular book, which surprised her. Without thinking she walked towards the cash desk and paid for the item.

Y/N walked back home, thinking about the book. She had not read the summary. It was one of her habit. If she knew she wanted to read the book even though she did not know much about it, she wanted to discover it from with as little information as possible. She kissed her mother’s cheek as she put the groceries away in the kitchen before going to her room. Y/N played with her fingers for a bit, her mouth twisted. She was now thinking about the client from the hotel. She wondered what he was doing in the film. At first she thought that maybe he was part of the production team but she could not forget his charisma. There was something that emerged from him, and his face was so perfectly made, like a greek statue. Y/N concluded that he was most probably an actor. After debating with herself she finally decided not to look at his name on the internet. If she had a chance to, she wanted to discover him without summary, they rarely did justice to the real work. 

                                                  -------------

Y/N had her head in the clouds as she was helping with breakfast on the following morning. This was mainly due to the fact that she had spent the night reading. She had not been able to finish her latest purchase, the book was quite long and she knew she had to work on the next day. She was now obsessed with the idea of finishing the novel. Working at the reception desk was one thing but she had never been very talented with the position of waitress. Usually the little restaurant managed by the hotel owners was only opened in the evening but the film crew had requested catering for breakfast. 

‘Y/N !’ someone called her ‘Order for table 4’

‘Sorry chef, on my way’ she said, grabbing the two plates

She managed to bring them to the table without spilling anything and although she thought it was almost time to close the kitchen, she saw two people walking in, Ben Hardy and a woman. She recognised the woman immediately, she was a well-known actress. She was so bad with actors but her ex could not stop talking about her and now she understood why. She was absolutely stunning. Maybe it was an actor thing, she thought, but her too had this kind of aura around her. She shook her head and moved towards the table. 

‘Good Morning’ she said ‘ What can I do for you?’

‘Obviously same thing as usual, your cook should have my dietary requests by now’ the actress sharply said

Y/N tried not to look too surprised by the remark but she had to prevent herself from saying anything that could get her in trouble. 

‘Of course. I am sorry.’ she tried with a crooked smile ‘Sir?’

She looked at Ben, ready to hear something similar but she perceived a saddened look in his eyes.

‘Scrambled eggs please, with coffee. Thank you very much’

‘My pleasure. I will be back with your orders’

‘Make it quick please. I have to be with hair and makeup in 45’ the actress added

Y/N pinched her lips, preferring not to say anything as she could hear another nasty comment behind her ‘I hate this hotel. I am used to a lot better’. Y/N was now too far to hear what Ben said to her but she imagined that he was agreeing. When she explained what had just happened to the kitchen crew they all laughed. Apparently it was not the first time that she was acting like a diva. Y/N knew nothing about it because she had managed to get Katherine’s personal phone number and only referred to her. There was nobody else in the restaurant anymore and Y/N waited for the order, chatting with her colleagues. She suddenly realised that she had missed quite a bit of drama as she had been determined not to care about what was going on. 

One of the cook, Kevin, was telling her everything he had heard since the film crew had arrived, and there was much to say. Y/N knew the man as they had grew up together, or at least in the same area. She was one year younger than him which meant that they had never been together at school but the village was small enough that they spent some time together. They had started their work in the same summer, but Kevin had never left the kitchen and he seemed to be perfectly happy like this. Y/N was almost sad to see that the order was now ready in front of her. This meant she would not here the end of Kevin’s story and she would have to face the diva once again. She sighed before carrying both to the designated table. 

‘And here you are’ she said with a big professional smile ‘Sorry again for the misunderstanding. Enjoy’

‘Thank you’ Ben said

Y/N had to wait until they finished to get rid of the dishes and she would finally be freed from waitressing duty. She went to a corner of the room, as far as she could to be able to see them and be ready to help if needed without bothering the actors. As she tried to occupy her mind, Kevin’s head appeared and looked at her ‘Hey Wormy, come back when you’re down. I’m making you some special pancakes’. Y/N immediately waved him away before hiding her face inside her hand. She looked at the occupied table to apologize but the woman was already going out, her phone going to her ear. Ben seemed to have finished so she went to clear the table. 

‘I am so sorry’ they both said at the same time

They both laughed a little, it was the second time that it was happening to them. But although Y/N was curious to know why the gentleman was apologizing for, she did not dare to ask. 

‘I am sorry for my friend’s intervention.’ she started

‘Nothing to worry about’ he smiled before changing attitude ‘I am sorry for her attitude’ he added waving at the empty chair ‘It’s just…’

‘It’s nothing’ Y/N said ‘I should have checked. It won’t happen again sir’

‘Please, call me Ben. You don’t have to apologize Y/N, really. So your...’

And before he could add anything, a man came inside the room and asked for Ben to hurry as he was expected to be going on the filming site. Y/N was disappointed without really knowing why. 

‘Have a nice day’ 

‘Enjoy your pancakes’ he waved

                                                         ---------------

Y/N indeed enjoyed the pancakes in the kitchen with Kevin when all she could think about was the actor. He had remembered her name she thought, it was not unusual that regular customers did but they had only talked three times. A few days had passed and their paths had only crossed twice, never long enough so that they could exchange more than just the usual greetings. Once a week, Y/N had a night shift. She did not mind, it was usually her easiest moment as it was rare to see any clients. 

She was reading the same book for the second time. The ending had surprised her so much that she wanted to read it again, paying attention to any details that could have helped her foreseeing the unexpected ending. Suddenly, she heard some footsteps in the stairs and put her book down. Y/N immediately recognised the guest.

‘Ben. May I help you’ she asked

‘Good evening Y/N. Not really, I just wanted to enjoy some fresh air.’

‘Of course. I’m sorry I have closed the door but I’ll open it for you’

‘Oh non don’t worry. I did not know it was closed’

‘It’s not usually.. It’s just, well I’m alone and it’s quite late so I thought’

‘Naturally’ 

He sounded like he truly understood and patiently waited as she grabbed the keys behind the desk and went to open the double doors. The air was fresh but not cold and Y/N embraced it, closing her eyes for a second. Ben was patiently waiting behind her and she moved on the side to let him out. She stayed against the frame, watching the stars. Ben had fetched his cigarettes in his pocket and lit one before looking at her. 

‘Are you waiting for me?’ he asked

‘No. Sorry I did not want to stay. Please, take as much time as you need’ she answered, ready to go back inside

‘Do you have much to do?’ he sounded like he wanted her to stay

‘No, not really. Nights are rather quite’ she admitted

‘Were you reading?’ he enquired

‘Well, yes’

He looked absolutely gorgeous under the moonlight. They were lucky enough that it was a full moon so that did not need any artificial light. His blond hair looked like silver and as he was drawing on his cigarette, a red light reflected in his beautiful eyes. The shivers that were running down her skin, Y/N had not felt them for a very long time, even when she was with Jack. She could barely remember when her ex-boyfriend had made her feel like this. It was stupid she thought. He was just a customer and probably felt sorry that she had to spend the night alone. 

‘Is it the same book as last time? The one about Australia?’

The fact that he remembered what the book was about warmed her heart a little more and she decided to join him, going completely outside. 

‘No in fact… It’s… It’s the book that your film is adapted from’

‘Oh, interesting. What do you think?’

‘It is an amazing story. To be honest I had not read a book that surprised me this much for a while. The style is very peculiar, but I like it. At first the rhythm was a little slow but it really helps you get into the story. The characters are well developed and you never feel like the author is saying too much or not enough. And the subplot is so intelligent and yet, so well balanced. I am reading it for the second time because I read it so fast the first time I wanted to enjoy it again’

She finished talking and suddenly realised that she had got carried away, as she always did when she was talking about a book that she liked. But he was not looking at his phone or staring at her as if she was crazy. She was used to it, especially with Jack. But he was smiling timidly.

‘I am glad you liked it. To be honest when I read the script I immediately bought the book. I really wanted to be part of the project’

‘Is it as good? I mean, I don’t know much about cinema but… I feel like it could make a good film’

‘I hope it will. But I think so’

And they started talking about the project. He told her about the film, how they changed a few things. The author was no longer alive but they had asked for advice on the adaptation. In fact, it was the first time he was part of the production of a film, he truly believed in it. She felt at ease with him, he acted so so warmly. They both sat one next to each other, facing the moon. It happened naturally, neither of them wanted to go back inside, or at least put an end to this intimate moment. 

‘I just…’ she started ‘I just feel it is weird that hum… the actress that you had breakfast with is playing the main role. She just seems… A lot more confident than the character.’

Ben laughed, but not to make fun of her. He appreciated her candour.

‘You know that our job is to play different character Y/N? And… even though she can be… well let’s say she can be a lot. She is an amazing actress.’

‘Sorry’ she quickly said ‘I didn’t want to be mean. And I don’t really think you look as mad as your character’ she joked

‘Enough about this film and me. Tell me about you’

‘There is not much to say’ she looked at him, disconcerted

‘Do you live here?’ he asked, brushing away her remark

‘Yes, no… Well. I used to live in London but… Life happened.’ her voice suddenly lower

‘I’m sorry’ he apologised ‘I didn’t want to make you feel bad.’

‘It’s alright. It’s just so cliché that’s it’s laughable. I lost what was the closest thing the job of my dream, was cheated on by a stupid guy that never really loved me and now I’m back in the little village, living with mom and dad. Pathetic’ she sighed

He looked at her, not with pity in his eyes but with true sadness. 

‘It’s not pathetic’ he assured ‘I am sorry it happened to you. But you don’t give the impression to be someone who give up that easily.’

‘Thank you’ she simply replied, grateful that he sounded sincere

‘What is your dream job?’

‘I want to be a book publisher. I mean… I was working in a very small publishing house but it was great. Unfortunately they bet a lot of money of dreadful book and… they had to put an end to the story’

He kept asking questions about it. On the one hand he was not surprised to see that her life revolved around books and she could not help but smile seeing that he found it remarkable rather than sad. She asked him about his work. On the other hand he was surprised that she did not know who he was, but not in a bad way. So he told him about his career, how he was not seeing himself becoming an actor but how life found a way. 

‘Of course you were in EastEnders’ she exclaimed ‘My nan love this show, I was sure I saw you somewhere’ 

He laughed. She was so spontaneous. He was glad she had left her ‘professional’ attitude at the door. They kept talking, on and on. And then the sun started to rise and they realised that they might have been talking for a little bit too long. She apologized profusely. 

‘It’s fine’ he said ‘It was probably going to be a sleepless night anyway. I am glad I spent it with you’

‘What do you mean?’

She thought she might have crossed a line but they had spent an entire night talking after all.

‘Acting can be quite a lonely life’ he simply replied ‘And sometimes loneliness is a lot’

‘Loneliness is a bitch’

He smirked. They looked at each other and they saw, that they both knew what they were talking about. How hard it was not to have someone to talk to. Not a friend, no. Someone special, someone who cared. Someone who listened carefully and held you in their arms. For a few seconds they stayed like this, wondering if they should make a move. But they exhausted and it had been a long night. Still, Ben came closer to her and once hugged her. She let her face rest on his muscular torso as she enjoyed the embrace. They parted and smiled. 

He eventually made his way towards the stairs, wishing a good night, or a good day, he was not too sure anymore. Y/N went back to close the door, taking a deep breathe of fresh her before doing so. For the first time in a while she felt like the outside world was more exciting than what she could read in her books.

[stayforya]

I DON’T KNOW IF WE CAN BE FRIENDS | PT. 1

member: hwang hyunjin

genre: college!au

words: 5.4k

summary: there were no doubts you and hyunjin would be friends for life, nothing would be able to tear you apart. except one of you.

a/n: another au based on a song, this time it’s by hollyn. i’m thinking about a part 2, this story may need one. if you think so too, please tell me <3

link to part 2

“I love you, y/n. everything about you”

you remember those words like an echo in your head

if you’re in silence, they come back

you end up thinking about it over and over again

you remember the kiss hyunjin gave you after saying that

you were lying your head on his shoulder

and his gaze, you swear, could make you fall in love a thousand times

his lips tasted like cherry and love was almost touchable when they reached yours

you and hyunjin met years ago

he was in a big part of your life

all your high school memories had him because your friendship was too strong

it’s like never wanting to be far from each other ‘cause you were never tired of each other

morning, afternoon, even some evenings you spent together

talking about anything

hanging with some friends

crying over the tests you had to do in order to find a university

the days when the sunshine was too strong and weather too hot so he bought you ice cream even if you didn’t ask

the days when the rain was pouring and the weather too cold so he’d put his jacket over your head

he’d hug you when you were at the peak of stress

he knew it calmed you down

it was the ‘once in a lifetime’ kind of thing

you didn’t believe in only one true love during life, but you knew what you had with hyunjin was definitely special

life has its own path, though

you two finally kissed, but none talked about becoming more than friends

you were enjoying each other in a new level, which everyone already suspected but for a long time it was truly only friendship

by the way you two were involving into the relationship, it would end up happening

you kissed and said things you already said to each other before

like ‘I love you’

but it sounded different

it wasn’t just a friendly ‘I love you’

it felt like dating, but you didn’t want to discuss or label the relationship

you wanted to live it

hyunjin never had any problem in giving you hugs, even when your friends kept making some jokes about you two

he never stopped touching you because of what people said

but when you two confessed

and kissed

you kinda felt like he felt more free

he touched your hair, kissed your cheeks, looked at you closer, locked his fingers in yours

whenever he had an opportunity he’d come to you, put his right hand on your neck so naturally

and kiss you

say funny or beautiful things next to your ear

laugh when you tied his hair and played with it while he worked on some math exercises

all memories

it was hard to swallow that truth

one day, exactly one week after you got your acceptance letter

hyunjin got his

but he didn’t look so happy

even though it was his dream university

you didn’t understand

“this is amazing!”, you said, giving him a hug

he hugged you back but his smile wasn’t the same

“it’s your dream uni, right?”

“yeah yeah”, he answered, “do you want to eat ice cream?”

why did he suddenly change the subject

you agreed anyways

you tried to talk about it again, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to keep the conversation

days went by, the last days of high school

everything between you two was normal

specially during the last week

he took you to the cinema

took you to an amusement park

brought you flowers

spent a lot of time with you

and in every event he created to enjoy

you thought he was about to ask to be your boyfriend

but no, you were wrong

and the last date, on Friday

he took you home, kissed your forehead

and said “I love you, y/n. everything about you”

he held the entire galaxy in his eyes

caressing your hair and looking at you

saving that moment in his memory

right there, the sunset behind you two

you kissed like it was the first and last time

the beginning and the end of something, you didn’t know how to explain

but it kinda felt like a farewell

you loved him, too

you always did, and you didn’t plan to stop

during the same night, before going to sleep

you were so immersed in feelings and thoughts

you sent him a message

saying how you felt

how good it was to be with him and how much you wanted to spend a lot of time with him

his presence was enough cause he was enough

after that, you just went to sleep

in the morning, he hadn’t replied yet

day went by, and still, he didn’t reply

on sunday he still didn’t give you any sign

on monday, when the whole class gathered at school to prepare for graduation day

hyunjin wasn’t there

everyone was asking you

and with a broken smile you answered “he couldn’t come today”

after school you finally decided to knock on his door

no one was home, not even his dog

did he suddenly turn into dust and disappear? did he go to space or something like this?

you sat in front of his house, putting your backpack aside

since his house’s wifi connected automatically on your phone, you just stayed there scrolling through your phone

waiting

30min later, a car parked

he and his mom came out of it and you stood up

as soon as he saw you, you could notice the worrying expression on his face

his mom saw you there and came immediately

“oh, hi, y/n! did you spend a lot of time waiting?”

“hi, hm no, I just got here”, you lied and gave her a smile

“do you want to come in?”

“thank you, I have to go home because it’s getting dark”

hyunjin was doing things slowly as if he wanted to avoid talking to you

when he finally closed the car’s door, coming on your direction

your heart started beating faster

you were a mix of mad, relieved and disappointed

how could you start that conversation?

“hey”, hyunjin said and it was almost a whisper

“I don’t understand what’s happening”

“I couldn’t go to school today”

“you didn’t say anything after friday night. what am I supposed to think?”

he looked at the ground, running one hand on the neck

“I’m sorry, y/n”

“hyunjin… did you… regret? if so, just tell me”

“no, I regret nothing, y/n”, in that moment he looked at you and you could see the sincerity in his eyes, “but there are so many things happening”

“so tell me! I’m your friend, remember?”

he took a deep breath

“I’m moving. the university I’m attending isn’t here so my family decided to move.”

why didn’t you think about it before?

of course after high school things change

“when?”

“we went there today to see a new place, by the end of this week I’m probably moving already”

“so that’s why?”

he didn’t understand your question

“that’s why you did it all last friday? was it your way of treating me the best you could to say goodbye afterwards?”, the words came out quickly

“y/n…”

“is that it, hyunjin?”, you were very serious

he took a while to finally say something

and you wish he didn’t

you wish he said something else

because it hurted

“yes. we won’t be able to date in this situation, I’ll be in another place and it wouldn’t be fair to you”

“did you ever ask what I think about it? I mean-”

“it wouldn’t work, y/n. it’s also a new step in our lives. maybe it’s for the best”

“would you tell me if I didn’t come all the way here, waited for you and asked? would you go there to break up with me or would you simply ignore me and move on?”

your voice didn’t show all the madness because you weren’t only mad

you were also sad and disappointed so you just kept talking fast, but not angry

he always looked in your eyes

and the fact that he wasn’t at that moment

seriously…

why was he acting so cold?

you never saw hyunjin like that before, not with you

but you knew his bodytalk well enough to know what he was feeling

he just didn’t want to show

“I’m really sorry, y/n…”, he touched your right arm

for the first time it felt different

you held his arm before he could go

“did that mean something to you?”

you both knew what ‘that’ meant

the kiss

the ‘I love you’

the moments you shared, not only as friends, but as two people who had feelings for each other

“hyunjin?”, his mom’s voice came out of nowhere

he didn’t get in so she wanted to make sure if he was still there

“I have to go”, he said

your hand let go of his arm as if it was toxic

you turned your back at him and kept walking

and walking

and walking

your steps were so firm and you felt so mad

but at the moment you got home, after a long walk

your body fell on your bed and the tears came down

silently

you’d never

ever

be friends with him again

what happened crushed it all

your friendship, your relationship

any trace of feelings should be gone

you had a lot of pictures of you two on your phone

good memories

your finger was almost deleting everything, but you’d regret

saving those moments in pictures would make you look back and feel good

in the future, maybe, not now

there was a video

of you filming the sunset and suddenly he comes running

getting closer and filling the screen with his smiley face

your voice saying “noooo” and laughing right away

dang

it hurt

you thought it would be hard to see him the next day at school because you didn’t know how to treat him

talk? ignore?

but turns out he didn’t even go

probably too busy with his ‘moving’ things

who cares 

finally the other day he was there

you arrived and he was already sitting on the place you used to sit together

since those were the last days, your class just had to finish some graduation details

so you didn’t need to talk to him

mainly because he didn’t seem to care at all

you could feel his glances

but he was the one who broke up, wasn’t he?

so it wasn’t up to you run back to him

of course it hit you hard

not because of the love relationship

but the long term friendship you guys had

if you ever knew it would be ruined like this…

after graduation, all the news you had from him were by watching his instagram stories and seeing his posts

he was already living well in his new place, making some friends and taking pics of everything like he used to

you didn’t talk again

you didn’t go to say goodbye when he left, but you almost sent a message

and deleted it all before having the courage to send it

you just had to go on with your life

also, uni wouldn’t take so long to start

the next couple months were, firstly, chill and, then, busy

you needed to get ready for this new chapter of your life and you were pretty excited

you found a nice roommate

the university was huge, so different from high school

so many things happening at once

you were still trying to absorb everything

the first weeks were quite hard

you had a lot to catch up on

new subjects, new people, new life

in the end of the day you were always tired, so you just took a shower and went to sleep

just after the first three months you’d say you were 100% adjusted

finally getting to enjoy the weekends a bit lol

“are you going to the festival this weekend?”, one of your friends asked

you made a funny face

“is there a festival happening and no one is talking about it?”

“no, you’re just out of the world”, she laughed

“there’s this band coming, two of the boys are from here”, another friend said, eating one of your fries

“are they famous or something?”

“well, people really like them here but I never saw them live, so…”

“I wonder how they find time to rehearse”

“a friend of mine said they just play for fun, so they don’t rehearse a lot but they’re very good”

“they must be talented, then. are you guys going?”

“of course, some other artists will come too”

“then I’ll think about it”, you said, drinking the last sip of juice

“you know who plays too?”

“tell me”, you faked an interest to make fun of them, cause they were already making fun of you with that question

“lee minho”

your eyebrows raised in real interest

but you tried to pretend you didn’t care

too late, they noticed

“you can’t even hide it!”, they burst into laugh

“I said nothing”

“no need to say, your face showed it all”

“alright, alright”

now you had a motivation

lee minho was a handsome and smart guy from technology department

he was your senior and you met him through some TA classes he gave

everyone knew how fun he was, yet dedicated

knowing he played in a band was unexpected but it did spark more interest

that week was full for you and the only moment you had to breathe was while walking from one class to another

but on friday morning you’d finish everything and enjoy the festival with your friends at night

that’s how it went

you just put a comfortable nice clothing on and went to the field where the concerts would happen

you met your friends there, they saved a place for you

but after a while no one would be sitting anymore

everyone was gathering

when you got up to get something to eat, you met minho on the way

“oh hey”, he smiled at you

“hey”, you sure smiled brighter

he was quite shy but cool at the same time

you didn’t know how, but minho could do both pretty well

“so aren’t you playing today?”, you asked

“ah yeah yeah…”, cutie minho jumped out, “we already set everything up”

“can’t wait”

“oops, careful”, he told someone and put his hand next to your arm as if he was shielding it

you didn’t even understand what happened but by the way the guy said ‘sorry’ he was probably about to bump into you and minho noticed before

“thanks”

“where were you heading to?”

“just to find something to eat”

“can I follow you?”, his eyes. no words to describe. cool minho popped up.

“of course”

you and him were talking about some stupid stuff and laughing together while you waited in a long line to get some hot dog

when you finally got it and was about to go back to your seat, some guys stopped you two

you and minho turned around to greet them

there were two of them

one you already knew, he was also from your uni

the other guy was from another one but minho introduced him too

and when you thought there were only those who played in the band with him

you remembered there was one missing, probably

he came running

tall and handsome

nice clothes on, but a friendly smile

wait

that shirt, you knew it

you knew those sneakers too

that necklace swinging while he ran

your smile was fading

“oh, here he is”, minho said, “this is hyunjin”

never

ever

you imagined

you’d meet

him

again

like this

out of all the possibilities, why like this? how in the world was he there, at your university, friends with minho, playing in a band

you hadn’t seen him since that day

and after a while you just didn’t pay attention to his instagram updates anymore because

one: you didn’t have a lot of time

two: you were getting over

you already did, right?

but seeing him in front of you

the sunset behind him

a pinkish orange sky

the wind blowing on his face

no matter how many days, months, years

he’d still hit right in your feelings when you met him again

and the day was there

he smiled slightly, greeting you

“we know each other”

the other boys were surprised

“we studied together”, you completed

was that awkward? maybe the way you guys looked at each other

it felt like the time stopped, no joke

but you guys made it work out well

“did you come for the concert?”, the other boy asked

“yeah, can’t wait”, you opened a weird smile now that hyunjin was, like, in front of you

even when you weren’t looking at him you could feel his stare

minho made way for you and kept talking until he had to go up and you had to find your seat again

you wished them luck, not directly looking at hyunjin for more than one second

coming back to your seat, you were just wishing so hard that he didn’t notice how nervous you got

“are you okay?”, your friend asked

“for someone who was wandering around with lee minho, you should look happier”

you made fun of her

“of course I’m okay, he introduced me to his bandmates”

“oh shoot, I should have gone with you”, she said in a funny tone

the concert started some minutes later

and that festival feeling

you were really needing that

so many things to do and finally you had time to just have some fun

minho was so amazing playing and singing

your eyes should be stuck only on him

that’s what you wanted

but hyunjin was next to him, you couldn’t help but frame them both and keep staring

it felt like some kind of dream

it couldn’t be real, he couldn’t be there

there was something different about him

still, you could see the same guy you shared so many moments

the song they were playing, the sunset, everything

it made you feel some kind of feeling you couldn’t really explain into words

they sang five songs and after them there were other artists

after they got out of the stage, you saw minho far from where you were

you were trying to communicate

but hyunjin appeared right behind him and started looking at where minho was looking at

which was you

you couldn’t really concentrate on minho with hyunjin there but you focused a lot to talk to him

he said he was going to eat

and asked if you wanted to meet next to the food truck later

you consented, it was just hard because there were so many people around you

he nodded and smiled, but hyunjin…

he did the same

he knew you weren’t talking to him, still he smiled at you after you and minho smiled at each other

stupid guy

since you were having fun with your friends, you and them watched that concert and only went eat when it finished

another artist was starting a concert

but you guys went to the food place to eat something

you found minho and waved at him

“sorry we’re late”

“no problem”

hyunjin wasn’t there anymore

minho was there with just one of them

“the other boys went home already”, he said as if he could read your mind

“uh I love this song”, your friend said

the atmosphere was very romantic to be honest

even the vocalist told the crowd to find a partner and dance

you weren’t close to the stage but the song was loud, you could hear it and feel the romantic thing in the air

“do you want…?”, minho asked in a cool way, slightly pointing to the stage with his head, just to make sure you knew what he was talking about

“yes”

he was asking you to dance

you held his hand and, slowly, let yourself come closer

because that song needed a slow dance

your arms around his neck were the first step

but after a while, your head was already close to his

and he smelled so good

he danced so well

he did everything well, right?

minho was one of a kind

you guys didn’t kiss, but for a moment you almost did

because you two were just so close, enjoying the song

and right when you had the chance

the concert was over

everyone was standing to applaud

that was the last day you saw hyunjin

he posted a pic of the concert on his instagram and you looked at it for a good amount of time

until you just stopped the thoughts on your mind and kept going

there was a lot to do

months went by

what you had with minho wasn’t a relationship

but it wasn’t a friendship also

he was in a very busy moment of his undergraduate life and you understood that

since you were trying to study the most you could while you had the energy for that, on the first years of undergraduate degree

you met each other every week because of the classes you had at the same building

people were already suspicious that you guys had something

and yes, you did

you just didn’t know how to name that ‘something’

you know what

it felt just like what you had with hyunjin

it had been one year since you and hyunjin broke up

you laughed by yourself

‘break up’

“I love you, y/n. everything about you”

what a joke

minho sent you a message at the same time you were thinking about this

he wrote that the class was about to end and he’d like to see you if you had some time

you two set an hour to meet and you were already excited to see him

maybe because the thoughts of hyunjin haunting you

minho always made you feel light and happy

you took a shower and got ready to meet him

by the amount of perfume, your roommate knew you had a date

crossing the campus to meet minho at the café wasn’t even tiring, you just put some music on your earphones and walked there

maybe because you needed some glasses you couldn’t see pretty well the person walking towards you

oh one was a colleague of yours with whom you had classes together once

the other one you never saw

it was the moment of the year new people were arriving, so that’s why there were some fresh faces

then, as if it was a movie scene, one walking towards the other

it was him

his black shirt, his necklace, his bracelets, rings

so different but still the same

again, after such a long time

right when you were forgetting everything

hyunjin

you couldn’t avoid

or turn around and pretend you didn’t see him

he was right in front of you, kinda lost

you felt your feet stopping before your mind could think about why

everyone was passing by, but you two were stuck right there

what should you say?

what should he say?

did you both have anything to say?

“y/n”

your name sounded prettier coming out of his lips

“you, here?”, you heard your voice as if it wasn’t coming from you

“I’m transferring”

“you what?”, again, you said before thinking

“it’s for a year, initially. if it works, who knows…”

“sorry. hm. how are you?”

this conversation was such a mess

“fine”, he smirked, “you?”

“when did you…”

“I just arrived”

you nodded, looking around

“I didn’t know”, you said

of course you didn’t! was he supposed to tell you after not talking to each other for more than one year?

“yeah… not a lot of people know”

“this sounds… unreal”, you smiled at yourself. not a happiness smile, just a ‘can’t believe it’ smile

“my university offered this, some people from here are going to study there too, so”

“nice, yeah, nice”, you didn’t know what to say

he was biting his lips almost unnoticed, because he was a bit nervous

you didn’t know a lot of new things about of him, if anything, you knew his body language very well

“it’s good to see you again”, hyunjin said

“it’s been a long time”

“that day at the festival, sorry I couldn’t talk to you”

you nodded but changed the subject

“you play well”

“thanks”

the conversation was getting weirder

“do you know where minho is? he said he’d show me around”

“minho? do you guys still play?”

“just when we have time to meet”, he smiled running his hand through his hair

and you noticed everything

but, come on, he did too

he looked at every single movement you made

paying attention to you in a way he didn’t in a very long time

as if he didn’t want to miss the moment

he had gentle eyes

you missed that

you missed him, you just tried to forget

you didn’t solve things; you guys didn’t talk after what happened

he broke up and you had nothing to say

just let him go

“I’m about to meet him, though”

“oh”, he wanted to sound surprised but you could see how half of him knew what was going on. who didn’t notice on the festival day?

“do you want to come?”, you asked

“can I?”

you just gave him the look you always did

and kept walking, knowing he was following you

hands inside the pockets and a little smile on his face

minho was there at the café

he didn’t notice until you got through the door

his face went from happy to surprised

because he saw hyunjin

he talked to you first, giving a hug and caressing your hair

it wasn’t cringy, he knew the limits to affection in public

but hyunjin, after noticing the hug, started looking around

until minho greeted him too

“how did you find me?”, he asked

“y/n”, hyunjin answered

“sit with us, please”

you looked at minho trying to make him send hyunjin away

lol he could do that because he had his savageness

but since hyunjin just arrived, he’d be the nice friend

“what would you like to eat?”, minho asked you

since he wasn’t looking at any of you, both answered

“hm, I-”, you started

“anything is okay”, hyunjin said

you looked at him

he looked at you

minho looked at both

and giggled

“it’s on me, choose whatever you want”

you rolled eyes because of hyunjin

during the whole time, he was talking to minho

why didn’t he already leave?

you wanted some time alone

the date would be so nice if he hadn’t stepped in

here and there you said something, but you weren’t even in the mood

they talked about the band

talked about the university

and the only moment you really paid attention was when hyunjin started talking about his reasons to study there

“I felt bad because my family moved there so I could go to university”, he said

“and now, where are them?”, minho asked

“they’re planning to come live nearby now”

“so everything’s good, bro”

“yeah, they’re very good to me”

“oh, I just remembered. you two know each other, right?”

oh no minho

you didn’t have to…

“yes”, hyunjin answered

“we do”, you said

“but how? tell me”, he was interested and you had to be careful with all the words

why not let hyunjin explain

“we studied together for a long time”, he said, “but, because of university, we didn’t keep in touch”

ha ha ha he’s the funniest

you lifted one eyebrow paying attention to his narrative

“yeah, it’s been a long time”

“so maybe you could help him tomorrow, y/n?”

“help?”

“yes, he needs to find some places and I won’t be able to help him because of my exams”

ok but what about the other guys he knew? I mean, why you?

“me?”, you tried not to sound too bad

“his building is right next to yours”

oh great, amazing, splendid

“ok, I will”, you smiled to minho

since the three of you had finished eating and talking

and your date was successfully ruined by hyunjin’s presence

maybe now you could have time alone with minho

but you were wrong

“I’m sorry, guys, gotta go. I have an extra class now…”

your disappointed expression was noticed by him

he gave you another hug

“see you tomorrow?”

you nodded

hyunjin was pretending to search for something on his phone

“see you, call me anytime!”, minho said to him during the handshake

“thanks, bro, I will”

you watched him run to his appointment

wishing you had some time

it was crazy

cause hyunjin was there by your side too

and when you focused on the fact he was there, your mind became a mess

so you kept walking

and he followed you

you stopped

he stopped too

you turned around

“are you following me?”

“yes, so I can find things easily”

“if you need help, just ask”

“I need help”, he said

“ok, what”

“I have a question”

“I’m waiting”

“what’s going on between you and minho?”

after hearing that, you started walking again

and he was already by your side

“excuse me?”

“I was wondering…”

“we’re friends. very close friends.”

you knew hyunjin, he already knew what was going on, he just wanted to make sure by hearing it from you

“like we were?”

that topic was a bit hard

“no. like I am with him. it’s different”

silence for a while

“I missed you”

you couldn’t help but laugh a little

“you did?”

“I do”

“it was harsh when you ended up things, okay? you were childish”

he was listening carefully

you knew your words were supposed to hurt

“I am sorry. your friendship was… is very important to me, and I didn’t want to lose it”

“we couldn’t help but like each other in another level”

“I know but I was scared. it didn’t happen in a good moment because I’d have to leave anyway”

“before anything, we were friends. you should have told me.”

“I know. and I don’t regret anything we lived together. as friends and… as lovers”

lovers

for the first time, a name to what you guys had

so ‘lovers’ was what you and hyunjin were

for a brief moment

“I also don’t regret anything I told you. how I- I loved you”

“why are you telling me this now?”, you questioned, moved by his words

“better late than never. y/n, you are one of the reasons I am here. you changed my life in so many ways and, yes, I was childish by not knowing how to deal with my feelings”

you already have walked a lot and now you were close to the dorms

you looked at him

“I didn’t have to be one of your reasons”

“it’s not up to you to decide... you are one of them.”

his sweet face staring at you

being sincere with everything he felt

but you didn’t know if it was right to just let go of it all and start again

not as lovers, but as friends

at least friends…

even though you missed him in each and every way

his voice sounded soft and low

“I still love you. you are part of me and I can’t let go so easily. I wanted to tell you this for a long time, I wanted to say sorry and maybe try again.”

he reached out for you

“I don’t want to be a stranger to you like we have been for a very long time, hyunjin…”

“me neither. let the past be past. I want to be a friend again”

friend or lover, you wanted him

he was a part of you hard to let go, too

it could be easier

just say yes and become friends again

but the process isn’t easy like this

to start over would be complicated

it would mean you’d have to restore each other’s confidence

and take the risk of falling in love again

this risk… it was too much

he would always mess with your feelings, as a friend or a lover

and because it was hard

because you weren’t sure

because he suddenly came back and messed it up again

you had to say

“I don’t know if we can be friends”

his hopeful eyes became a bit sad

you tightened your grip on his hand before letting go

and walked back to your dorm

link to part 2