#edit: and I say this as someone quite aware of where I fall on the spectrum

[sativaonsaturn]

venus observations

a leo venus is a passionate and dedicated lover - if you deserve it. the opposite energy will be presented if we believe we’re being taken advantage of because leo venus also can get the ick quite easily.

a leo venus also looooves to give gifts! the second a partner or a family member says “i wish” or “i need” leo already has the gift in their cart.

in true virgo nature, a virgo venus is pretty unwavering in their standards for a relationship. even if they choose to stay, virgo is still likely to nitpick if they’re unhappy. it’s recommended for them to look for what’s on their list and not for potential.

an aquarius venus makes such a great friend. any aqua placement is usually interested in humanity so it makes sense that they’d be fun loving and supportive and sociable (11th house).

similar to this, if your venus is in the 11th house you may want to be friends with someone before you date. you may not even realize you want a relationship with someone until you know they can be a good friend and you two have a solid bond.

a scorpio venus’ love is unmatched. their love is not just passionate, it’s profound, it’s intense. once they’ve established that you’re their person, they can’t see anyone else. some say that scorpio’s love is too much but i think the right person will feel safe and a real sense of belonging.

you cannot keep a sagittarius venus where they don’t wanna be. they can’t stay where feel stifled or codependent and they want to know that they’re experiencing as much life as they would if they were single. a sag venus will love a partner who can love them as deeply as they do while respecting their individuality.

a capricorn venus is serious about their love and in such a romantic way. if you want someone who will plan dates, buy your outfits, introduce you to family; cap is the one for you. however capricorn will not behave this way unless they see true potential/ a future.

pisces venus can be either flighty and detached or head over heels in love. this isn’t to say that they can’t ever find a balance but it takes awareness for them. pisces also tends to place expectations on those they love and become disappointed when they fall short.

someone w/ venus in the 4th house is typically in search of a partner who will make them feel at home. often are adamant about pursuing marriage and a feeling of security more than anything.

small edit: a leo venus also loves to receive gifts! especially thoughtful ones or ones w/ sentimental value. they like to feel like you were really considering them when you bought it

sativaonsaturn 🍃🪐

[midnightwriter21]

jjk hcs: satoru gojo meeting soulmate!reader

characters: satoru gojo x reader, mentions of megumi, yuji, nobara, and principal yaga

warnings: language, mentions of a giant spider

AN: AS PROMISED!!! the soulmate gojo fic!! i’m a sucker for non-sorcerer!reader x gojo. so if u want a version with a sorcerer reader lmk!!!

edit: sorcerer!reader version is published!! read it HERE

- soulmate au where the first words your soulmate says to you are tattooed in their handwriting somewhere on your body!!!

SATORU GOJO

you’re working at a small, family-run cafe

which just so happens to be quite close to jujitsu high school

it’s quite often that students and staff from the school are stopping at the cafe for a quick snack, coffee, and sometimes lunch

and due to an unfortunate run in with a low grade curse during a rush, you are very aware of the jujutsu world

principal yaga himself exorcised the curse when he was on his lunch break at the cafe

usually you’re working in the kitchen, baking, whilst someone else takes orders

until a coworker of yours calls in sick at the last minute… so ur on ur own rip

taking orders, cooking, serving, all of the above on your own

the 3 first year jujutsu high students, megumi, yuji, and nobara come into the cafe after a mission

they place their orders and megumi tells you that their sensei would be joining them shortly, with yuji letting you know that their sensei would also be picking up the bill

as if it would even put a dent in gojo’s wallet

anyways after taking their orders you walk into the kitchen to begin making their food and drinks

as you get to work, gojo walks into the cafe, joining his students at their table

you’re rushing around the kitchen, flour stuck to the font of your shirt, hair sticking out in different directions

trying to get the food cooked and out to them in a timely manner

and the world is just not on your side today because guess what shows up in your kitchen…

a cursed spirit

but not any cursed spirit

a cursed spirit in the form of a spider

a GIANT spider with what seems like a million eyes, the 8 legs, kinda furry looking

oh and did i mention it was giant? by giant I mean it stood at abt 6ft tall

two words: hell. nah.

when you turn away from the stove and find it standing behind you

you, like any normal person, let out an eardrum shattering screech of terror and back away from it as fast as possible

backing yourself into the corner of the room, with no room to escape…

the 3 first years and their sensei hear your scream and spring into action, running into the kitchen to defend you

that’s a lie

the 3 first years run to defend you

their sensei takes his time, sauntering towards the kitchen with his hands in his pockets

bastard

the kitchen door slams open as the 3 first years spring through the door, with yuji pouncing on the curse

the pink haired boy delivers a heavy punch, knocking the spider curse away from you

you take the chance to run

yeah girl it’s better to give them their space fr, yuji has a habit of punching through walls with his bare hands

you run through the door, looking behind you towards the scene, and you run head first into what feels like a brick wall

before you fall onto your ass, you feel two large hands latch onto your shoulders to steady you

“woah! don’t go falling for me already.. we just met.”

you look up at the voice, finding a man with stark white hair, a blindfold, and a cocky smirk

adrenaline coursing through your body you don’t even process the man’s words and you find yourself babbling almost unintelligibly to the man

“kill it! please kill it! i can’t stand spiders!”

the mans grip on your shoulders tighten slightly before he releases you, pushing you behind him, chuckling quietly with a “anything for you, sweetheart”

and with the flick of his wrist the spider curse literally explodes

staring at the tall man in both shock and awe, you don’t realize until you smell smoke

“THE FOOD IS BURNING SHIT!” and your running back into the kitchen to see if anything is salvageable

it’s not lol but honestly the food is the last thing on anyone’s mind

as you throw the ruined food away, the same hands from earlier sit themselves on your shoulders again, turning you around

“so… if i’m gonna actually get you to fall for me, i’m gonna need your number.” and there’s a phone thrust in your face

and at his words you remember his earlier statement to you, “woah! don’t go falling for me already.. we just met.”

you look up at him in shock, putting a hand on your forearm, over your soulmate mark with those exact words covering your skin

and he just smirks and pulls the sleeve of his uniform up to show you his own forearm

and printed in your own handwriting is your terror filled words from earlier, “kill it! please kill it! i can’t stand spiders!”

as the blush crawls up your neck and into your cheeks he laughs, throwing an arm around your shoulders and saying, “so.. does this mean I get free sweets from now on?”

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[grey-lark]

So Steve having a different car in the the pics I saw filled me with a lot of feelings, both a really fun reason and a terribly sad one. This is the sad one! I might also upload this to AO3 once I edit when it's not 6AM, but I hope you enjoy?

The Bimmer doesn’t’ make sense in an apocalyptic situation.

Steve knows this.

As the Upside Down claws it’s way into this universe, tendrils carving pathways across the town, a luxury car just doesn’t make sense.

Steve is well aware.

Hell, Steve is even more aware of this fact because he’s stationed at the high school. Hauling supplies and survivors requires space. It doesn’t require comfort and a smooth transmission. It doesn’t require leather worn by multiple people launching themselves in with reckless abandon, or a back seat that’s somehow always sticky because of soda-stained hands.

It doesn’t require what Steve can offer.

Loch Nora has been seemingly unaffected by the upside down. Steve would say it was the wealthy’s one last jab against the town if he hadn’t seen so many of his former neighbors huddling in the high school. It seems no matter how rich you are, no one can avoid the hunger - the desperation that comes from being completely cut off from the rest of the world.

Steve lets the engine idle in the drive way of his old house. The intact windows gleam with a promise he’d be willing to brave if he didn’t know for a fact how the twisted vines covered the bottom floor of the house. Pressing his head against the steering wheel, he lets the out a shuttering sigh, feeling how the Bimmer purrs, seemingly in time, below him.

“I know, baby” he laments, running a hand across her dashboard before he steals himself and twists the key in his hand. She shutters down, his own shaky breath following.

It feels right, Steve thinks, to leave her here. To leave her in the remnants of a life he used to live. He slides her keys into the visor, in case there is some one who needs her. Someone who can justify loving her, in a way Steve simply can’t.

There’s a truck waiting for him.

Something practical and light blue; such a far cry from his maroon baby. It makes sense, he knows. He knows that a truck will help him in this new, harsh, world they live in. Knows it will be easier to ferry survivors back to the school and supplies to where they need to go. But he can’t help but look at the Bimmer, now silent in front of his old house, and remember how she safely - impossibly - carried five (sometimes six!) children to the mall regardless of seatbelt laws. How she dutifully shuffled Robin to and from school back when they thought their biggest concerns were whether a girl liked them or not. He can hear Bowie and Queen still playing from her speakers and his breath falters, gasping, as he could swear it’s not just in his head.

Maybe somewhere, there are quarters still rattling around, waiting for Dustin to pry them from her carpet, not knowing the arcade has been swallowed for months. Maybe now there’s even the tail end of a blunt under one of front seats, safely kept after Robin dropped it, laughing too hard to hold on to the last few puffs. Maybe, if Steve presses himself against her side hard enough, all the stains – all the memories – will seep into him and leave the Bimmer a little less haunted.

It doesn’t work, of course.  Even after he opens his eyes, after he peels himself from her metal chaises with a shuddering breath, she’s still standing there, same as she ever was. His childhood home too, stands there as it ever has.

They make quite the picture. The large green house and the sleek maroon car and the boy with the styled hair.

All so put together.

All falling apart.

But it’s okay. There’s a truck waiting for him. It’s practical and light blue. The kids have already climbed into it’s back; figuring out their seating arrangements before Steve even had time to yell at them about the safety issues of riding back there. Max will sit up front in the cabin with him, no matter how much she complains – Vecna assured that. But even she smiles when she hears the hoots and hollers of The Party in the back, howling their freedom in defiance to an ever reddening sky.

Steve’s finger brush the taillight of the Bimmer, before running through his own hair. He sees the house he grew up in; the streets that were his home. He sees his car, his baby, shining like she did when he first saw her. He leaves her, a useless car parked outside an empty home.

His car.

Parked outside his home.

There is a truck waiting for him.

[tomfoolies]

in the eye of the storm

words: 1454 a/n: it's time... for a s2 finale tomja moment! this was originally made for the old lore, but i got stuck for a LONG time and didn't really know how to continue it. but then recently i went in with a heavy editing hand and rewrote most of it to fit our new lore. took me one evening to finish and had a great time with it :3 enjoy!!

-

Sonja always forgets how deep the Mediterranean night is. Nearly pitch black all around, the clear water beneath her now unfathomably dark. She leans against the railing of the yacht, listening to the languid waves hitting the hull. Staring out into the void where she believes the land to be, for a moment everything stops existing and she feels like she’s nowhere.

Anxiety tumbles and turns inside her, typical static in her fingertips and an undercurrent of nausea all around her body that has nothing to do with seasickness. The most embarrassing moments of the previous day and evening play on an intrusive loop in her mind, making her shudder and twitch. She doesn’t regret any of her words, he wasn’t going to say much and they were throwing him under the bus and… Well, her reputation in this group of people isn’t exactly the best. A few more words can’t make it much worse. 

Still, it was hard to fall asleep when she kept having this absurd thought that one of the siblings, or even the old man himself, was going to sneak into the room and kill her in her sleep. But they wouldn’t have let her come along if the hatred ran that deep… Right? And that'd mean one less potential sacrifice. These people are calculated and mostly reasonable, something she tends to forget in between the theatrics.

She takes a deep intentional breath and visibly shakes her head to ward off the thoughts. She checks her watch — only a few hours left until dawn, and eventually the sunrise. In less than 48 hours she should be on her way back to New York. But before that—

Muted footsteps somewhere behind her make her flinch, and for a fleeting second she sees the silhouette of someone else in the corner of her eye, a threatening shape emerging from the darkness. One flash of terror that quickly subdues once she realizes who the person really is.

Tom lifts his hands up in surrender. He must’ve seen her frightened glance even in this absence of light. “Just me.”

She sighs, flustered at the amount of relief that floods her and shifts her attention back to the water. He comes to stand next to her, not quite close enough to touch, but the distance is so small that her awareness makes room for him. Even when covered with the blanket that is the warm night, she shivers at his presence. Her quickened heartbeat starts to quell.

He doesn't need to ask her why she's up and awake. Things have been painfully obvious, yet unspoken, between them lately. They both look out into the open water in silence.

“I forgot to thank you,” he says after a moment, his words barely breaking the quiet. "For standing up for me yesterday."

Her mouth twists in embarrassment, but pride reverberates through her body at his (unexpected) gratitude. "Honestly? I don't know if I should've done it. But I… I thought you needed to hear it."

"It's been a while since I've had someone on my side like that."

While definitely not a surprise, his admission still breaks her heart a little bit. It affirms something she's been thinking about for a while.

Isn't that exactly why she's so attached to him? Because nobody else seems to trust him or like him, let alone care about him the way she does. His wife certainly doesn't seem to do that, not to the extent she does. It makes everyone around her feel increasingly foolish. Being the one to care about him feels like she's been let in on a secret nobody else seems to have paid attention to. It's an opportunity everyone else has been too unwitting to consider.

"Well, you're welcome," she settles on saying. "But I don't know how much it really helped your case."

He's turned to look at her fondly; the most open he's been in a while, it feels like, with honesty in his eyes that she pays close attention to, the anxiety of these past weeks set aside for a moment. She might be the only one to stand up for him, but in return he's been learning to let her have a peek under his shell.

"It reminded me I'm not alone in this. Something I've been forgetting lately."

His words settle somewhere near her precordinum as an invisible yet incandescent glow. He lifts his arm and before she even thinks it through, she tucks herself underneath it, lets herself be squeezed against him. She feels him set his hand on her arm and it's so painfully casual, like he's done it an uncountable number of times.

It could be that emotions run high, everything feels far too open and uncertain and he needs something, someone, to be his anchor for a moment. Or he just wants her near, so much so that he's bold enough to do it even when someone could technically witness them. An admission of devotion in its own right — or so she hopes.

They stay like that for what feels like a long time, staring out to the darkness. First she keeps listening to every small sound coming from behind them, thinking that they'll be caught, but when he doesn't flinch or move, she lets herself relax. The waves hit the hull in a recurring, soothing motion and sound. She takes in the warmth slowly seeping from his body into hers, the tiniest shifts and movements as he breathes. His thumb rubs back and forth on her arm and it's the perfect sensation to keep herself from falling into another spiral of anxious thoughts.

She thinks that they could linger here forever, that if they just didn't move, didn't say a word, nobody would see them. Even when the morning breaks and the show around them picks up again, she believes they could stay right here, unseen, in their own shared moment.

Then she thinks about nothing for a moment. Just focuses on his touch, breathes in the night around them, the salt in the air.

She feels him nuzzle and kiss her temple, and the tenderness of that touch makes her press herself tighter into him.

The sky slowly begins to bleed from the unforgiving black into a dark navy as the idea of dawn makes itself known.

She feels everything in this silence, in the world around them, lying in wait, quietly sleeping. Yet it's all so insignificant when compared to his presence intertwined with hers.

The exhaustion has creeped into her body without a word or a warning, and suddenly she finds herself yawning. He reacts immediately, shifting away from her, as if only just then remembering where they are and what they're doing. She turns to look at him to see a wistful expression on his face. Something flashes in his eyes as he takes her in, but it might just be her imagination and the dark, late hour making her see something that isn't there.

The moment is broken, but for that fleeting second it was indefinite.

"Don't wanna keep you up if you're tired," he whispers. "Big day tomorrow."

She sighs. "You make it sound like something fun and exciting."

She cherishes the chuckle her words elicit from him before he heads back to his room, saying a silent goodnight with a brush of his fingertips on her lower back.

This is the point of no return, she dares to phrase the realization in the disguising darkness, looking at his retreating figure. The thought sharpens into an undeniable truth just a while later, when they're both back in their respective beds and she stares at the ceiling, her body ready to fall asleep but mind working overtime again, thinking about what he said.

Being on his side. The driving force of her actions, the core of her motives, the very thing that has carved her path to him and now leads her towards and through things she never thought she'd do. Loyalty for the underdog. Devotion for someone who hasn't experienced it before, not really, not the way she's feeling it. A feeling so deep and terrifyingly all-encompassing that she can only admit the real magnitude of in this daze of anxious exhaustion.

Maybe before these recent events, the hearing and this trip, she could've walked away from him, from this... relationship, without feeling like something fundamental is breaking, a part of hers left forever in his hands. It would've been difficult, but she would've survived.

But now, after everything that's taken place? She's been irrevocably altered, her tumultuous heart has made a decision of its own regarding her feelings for him — way before she even became consciously aware of it.

[alice1505]

I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.

• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????

• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????

• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???

• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.

• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)

• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍‍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)

• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.

There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.

Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂

[staybabblingbaby]

SKZ x Coordi (Chan Part) a1 d4

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: Reader is a successful makeup artist with a notorious and prolific career and no self awareness. Reader joins JYP as a part of Stray Kids' team and encounters their hazing ritual for new coordis: flirting.

Word Count: 640

Notes: This feels more like a drabble than a full part, but I don't really want to add much to it either lol. As everything else, could use some editing for clarity. Maybe better descriptions or transitions? Idk, We'll think abt it later :p

Warnings: None that I know of? Reader has weird self esteem but it's not bad? Reader referred to with She/Her pronouns

Masterlist link :D | Prev Part Link <3 | Next Part Link ;3

The next few weeks pass by in a pattern of work and sleep with no real reprieve. It’s an excellent thing that you enjoy your work and that your coworkers are all very nice.

Ji-Won has you rotating between shadowing the various makeup artists on your team and doing little pieces of whatever look is being put together on each idol. You learn a lot about which shades match best with who’s skin tones and which sorts of styles are generally expected for which member. You don’t think you’ve ever been so thoroughly educated on a specific person’s face before. You’re usually in a whole other country by now.

You get this very thorough rotating education because the role you were hired for was to be a bit of a floater, to fill in where you’re needed. On the other makeup artist’s days off, you’ll be filling in. If someone calls off or the team needs a spare set of hands, that’s your job. You find that it suits you well.

Usually you move pretty quickly between jobs, always on the hunt for the next look, for new knowledge, for new adventures. Right now, though, you’re glad that you’ve stopped a while. Eight lovely faces to gain familiarity with, a variety of different projects to create for, and coworkers who seem very eager to teach and work with you.

You're having a great time and find yourself very glad you'd chosen this route for your career. You will admit that this little game that’s developed between you and the idols is possibly a very large factor.

It stemmed from Han’s little flirtation that first day, of course. The eonni who’d borne witness to it had congratulated you for your composure and explained that SKZ has always had a little game of flustering new coordis to break the ice. Their own form of gentle hazing, she tells you. It helps new coordis not be so nervous around them and, she tells you with a conspiratorial whisper, her personal theory is that it also tells them which coordis they have a chance with. You’re not sure how much you believe that part.

She went on to mention that she was surprised Ji-Won had allowed them to do it though, since your head stylist had been adamant that the whole team be on their best behavior with you. She hadn’t seemed to notice your confusion at her statement, so you chalked it up to Ji-Won doing her best to make the new stylist comfortable. She’d completed her explanation by telling you to expect the other seven to attempt it too before they’d stop.

When, the very next day, Chan prevents you from falling flat on your face and dropping towels everywhere and, like he couldn’t quite help himself, asks if this means you’d fallen for him, you decide that this means war. He immediately bursts into embarrassed giggles and you laugh along but internally you’re planning your retaliation.

As he releases you, still embarrassed with himself, and you steady yourself, you give the most obvious once over you can. As you meet his eyes again, taking in his already embarrassed face and reddening ears, you smile, making sure to lace it with the humor the situation deserves. And then, because you’re a bit of an asshole and you’d never denied that, you gently pat his arm, let the touch linger just a bit, and say “You’re cute. Thanks for the hand.” and walk off with a little nod in his direction before he can remember he’s older than you and technically your boss.

You hear a little pained whimper of embarrassment from behind you and mentally fist pump. Coordis - 2, SKZ - 0. And you’d gotten away with some blatant disrespect just then. It’s always a treat to let social niceties die.

[manchestereyes]

so, managing the 10 years of dnp blog has of course made me hyper aware of the passage of time and especially of where i was 10 years ago. and 10 years ago today, around this exact time, i was walking across the stage to accept my high school diploma. needless to say, i'm not where i thought i would be at that time and i have a Lot of feelings about that. under the cut if you'd like to read ❤️

Well, it is officially 10 years since I graduated high school and needless to say, I have a lot of feelings about it.

First and foremost, I am not where I expected to be at all back then. Both in life and in overall happiness. Back then, I was so sure I was going to be a teacher and so excited to start learning everything I could. But more importantly, I couldn’t wait for a fresh start and the chance to finally get away from my mom and stepdad (mostly) for good. Of course I had a whole summer ahead of me but I just knew the fall would be amazing. I loved the school I had chosen and I couldn’t wait to experience all the things people talked about when they reminisced on their college days. I was happy and a bit terrified all at the same time. But graduation specifically was a really happy day. I still remember how shocked yet thrilled I was to hear whoops when my name was called, since I didn’t expect that at all. I left high school with only 4 friends, so I was beyond ready to meet some new people in college. Maybe even a boyfriend? (Editor's note: At that time, I thought I was straight. Didn't realize I'm bi for another year and a half.)

And then I started working at McDonald’s and my anxiety quickly morphed into depression when I was stuck cleaning the lobby for 7 hours straight most days. But I still had a light at the end of the tunnel since I was going away in 3 months. I saw Taylor Swift and 5SOS that summer, my two favorite artists at the time. And then I started school and sure, it was a huge stressful change at first, but then I got used to it and learned to really enjoy it. And then I found Dan and Phil and so much changed. Not all at once of course, but pretty much everything since then leads back to them somehow.

And yet, even though I’m finally fully living on my own and making my own choices, I’m way more miserable than I was back then. Sure, part of it is the heartbreak I can’t seem to get over, but a lot of it is how much I dislike my job and how unmotivated I am. And yet, I’m stuck because I have no idea what I possibly could do that I’d like better. The only things I really want to do (performing and writing/editing) are impossible since the fields are so oversaturated. And I’ve had my dreams crushed way too many times in the last 3 years to even think about getting my hopes up for anything else.

But there’s still a part of me that feels like I haven’t truly lived, despite hitting several milestones in these last 10 years. I work 15 minutes away from where I grew up and live 30 minutes away from that house. Sure, I’ve traveled quite a bit in the last few years but I haven’t truly explored. I haven’t stretched my wings and found a new area I could make my own. I want to move far away from home, but I can’t for 3 years at the very least. I want to have adventures like the ones I read about in books and fanfiction. I want to meet new people and be surprised at how much I like them and how much they like me. I want to have something I look forward to every week, be it a class or a group or whatever else. I want to feel like I’m something to someone. I don’t have any of that right now. And I don’t know when I’ll find it. At least, I know I won’t if I stay where I am. I know I need to make a change. I just wish I knew how.

[verdantlady]

Prompt: You are a ghost or demon who is about to be exorcized. How will you avoid this horrid fate?

My greatest downfall with writing prompts is my inability to write a short story instead of the beginning of a novel. I clearly need to work on getting to the point faster. I barely covered the prompt whoops. Here's a 20 minute writing prompt from writing club yay!

The editing on this is v minimal

~~~~~~~

Jenny’s head was a terrible place.  She was so bogged down by anxiety and self ridicule it was like a never ending barrage of bad thoughts.  Ghost hadn’t meant to fall into it.  He had just been minding his business, opening a few cupboards while he waited for his unfinished business too well… finish.  

It was really rather hard being a ghost.  You could only watch TV when someone else was and you could never choose what you wanted to watch.  Jenny was a Soc major which meant she had an affinity for documentaries and crime dramas.  That was okay. For Jenny. Not for Ghost. If Ghost wanted to watch stories about real people it would involve some drink throwing and designer bags.  But alas here he was sitting on the couch next to Jenny.

She was crying again.  Large crocodile tears rolled down her face and Ghost cringed as they went into her bucket of ice cream.  He thinks her boyfriend had dumped her again?  Honestly the first year of college was always so tumultuous for these freshmen.

He could barely remember what his had been like.  It had been so long ago.  And now he was just stuck here.  Haunting this year's freshman.  The reality of college was definitely less exciting than most people thought.

But the thing about Jenny was that she had the loudest dreams. They were vibrant and colorful and sometimes at night he could hear them leaking out of her and becoming real, tangible.  A sound, a smell, even a flickering image would broadcast into the room and ghost would be swept away for a moment. It was a miracle she had a single dorm.

He really really didn’t mean to go inside her head. It really was an accident. But one night, he couldn’t resist the lure of whatever was going on in this sad girl's dream.  

After she’d finished crying and passed out on the couch in a sad lump.  It was almost like a voice was beckoning him to float closer, to peer into her head.  And he leaned closer, trying to hear, and closer still.  And with a whoosh he was sucked in.

A ship was built around him.  Tall billowing sails, swearing pirates, the salt in the air.  He breathed deep with real lungs.  Oh God it was like being alive again.  Ghost looked around the deck and there he saw her.  Crouched in the corner of the ship was Jenny.  Still crying even in her sleep.  Her eyes were closed and it seemed as if she wasn’t aware of where she was.  Critical mean dark words floated around her.  Telling her that she wasn’t good enough.  That she would never be good enough.  That no one would love her.  Ghost sighed.  He supposed if he was going to be an interloper in this girl's inner world the least he could do was try to bring her out of this misery.  He said excuse me to a pirate who was swabbing the deck as he walked towards Jenny.  

He crouched down in front of her laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey.”

Jenny’s eyes snapped open.

“You know that this hurt isn’t forever right?  It will pass. And things will get better.”

Jenny’s brow scrunched and a big gust of sea air tossed her hair around her face. “That’s just what everybody says to make losers feel better.”

Ghost sighed and sat down next to her. “Take it from someone who thought that too and then made some very brash decisions.  I’ve watched many young people go through the same stuff as you and guess what?  They all turn out okay.”

“Oh,” Jenny looked off into the sea, staring at a gull gliding in the wind, “Are you like in one of my classes?”

Ghost sighed again. College freshmen were all the same.  He swears there was a script for small talk.  “No, I'm quite literally a ghost who fell into your dream.  Which by the way is great but you’re just pouting in the corner.” He gestures widely at the ship.  “You should be thankful you can dream at all.  Dead people don’t dream.”

Her eyes widened as she looked back at him, “You’re dead?”

“Uh yeah. Sorry for being in your head by the way.”

And then she woke up.  With him still in her head. He could hear her thoughts rattling around. He watched through her eyes as she stared at herself in a mirror, thinking bad thoughts. Stop that.  He chided.

“Oh my God who said that?”

Uh.  Oops? Sorry. I’m still in here.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Get out of my fucking head dude!”

Sorry I don’t know how to do that. While I’m in here I have a couple TV recs for you.

~~~~~~~~

Once her self image gets better he is able to leave her head and his unfinished business of helping somebody like him is finished.  The end. :)

[cyberstar2005]

Hello ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

I am ☆chris☆ and in this blog I will share my videos/edits,art,publications that I see whether related to some of my obsessions or interests, if possible I will talk about some topics based on the fandoms I am in and the controversial things that happen.

Basic things about me:

Christopher (I won't say my death name)

Latinoamerican (Bolivian)

18 (09/10/2005)

Trans/gender fluid (he/him)

antrosexual/pansexual

I have many interests that I talk about, draw or make videos and small animations but these are the ones you will probably see the most on my blog:

Sonic the Hedgehog

vocaloid

Invader Zim

Don't hug me I'm scared

The owl house

Gravity falls

Bendy and the ink machine

John Doe game [all Yanderes]

Junji ito

GASA4 (ROBLOX)

OCs, AUs or Personal Projects

Headcanons/ selfship

Traumacore / cybercore / weirdcore

Creepy/ horror things

Animation, Cartoons and Art in General.

BYF(Before You Follow):

I am a masochist And most of my fetishes are usually related to that, whether it's blood, knives, spanking, soft BDSM whatever. The point is that this is a warning, Why I rarely (almost none) comment or publish content of this nature

While the content I post will never contain any type of direct graphic NSFW content, there are likely instances where my blog contains things that may not be appropriate for younger audiences (swearing, blood, heavy themes, suggestive jokes,etc.)

I am critical of many things, including my own interests, and I tend to rarely talk about it but I will put warnings for that if you don't want to read opinions from a stranger.

There are times when I use this blog to vent about my traumas, mental health or current life situations and some of them can become heavy, I am aware that this can be very uncomfortable so I always put a big warning for that type of publications

[Regarding the warnings, I will create some labels so that they can identify the publications and thus they can censor the labels for those who are uncomfortable with that type of content]

DNI (Do Not Interact):

Basic DNI criteria, Anti-LGBT+, Racists, Enablers, TERFS / Transphobic, Pedophiles, Zoophiles, (let's be honest, if you are a predatory, you are instantly not welcome here)

Shotacons/Lolicons

[toxic] fujoshis

Aro/Ace Exclusionists

Truscum / Transmeds

Anti Neopronouns / Xenogenders

DDLG/CGLG kink blogs (Being someone with masochistic practices, I do not consume that content since for me it is an allusion to pedophilia )

Regarding Proships/Compships, my opinion is quite ambiguous. I only ask that they not be toxic and that they do not spam about some fart ship or one that involves real people's

Headcanons/selfship Likewise my opinion is ambiguous, Just please don't have toxic behaviors!

Just don't make me uncomfortable

I apologize if I don't connect for days, the problem is that since I'm in class, I don't have time to draw and connect to networks.

That's all Byeee (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[hpowellsmith]

Books of January

I've really enjoyed reading more this month! I always read a lot over the holidays and then fall out of the habit but ended up doing more this time around.

Wild: from Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail - Cheryl Strayed (reread)

I liked this when I first read it, and liked it even more this time. The sense of the outdoors and the personal journeys within feel incredibly real to me. It inspired me to get out and about more: I always feel better when I take some time outdoors. I didn't really get on with her other books, but this one remains a favourite.

Dancing on Eggshells: Kitchen, Ballroom, & The Messy Inbetween - John Whaite

Every so often I read a celebrity memoir and usually it falls a little flat - often too obviously ghostwritten/over-edited or glib or twee. This one is less over-polished which is to its benefit, includes a bunch of lovely recipes, and explores growing up gay in England during Section 28 (at the same time I was growing up). Whaite comes across as very sincere in this, and since publication has said he's quitting TV which is probably a good thing. It was interesting reading the Strictly parts having read Craig Revel Horwood's memoir last year - Revel Horwood is very blithe about how lovely it all is whereas Whaite gives a more complicated perspective.

Maw - Jude Ellison S. Doyle

This horror graphic novel is gripping in places but it didn't pull me in as much as I'd hoped having read Doyle's discussions about the writing process and inspirations. It was over a little fast, characters appeared and were killed off a little too speedily for it to have much impact, and the ending felt a little abrupt. I liked the characters and the general idea but would have liked more breathing room to get to know them. I've got The Neighbors on pre-order and hope to get into that one more.

The Easternmost Sky - Juliet Blaxland

I could write an essay about what was frustrating about this book - the lack of class-consciousness from someone who casually mentions going to visit cousins for Christmas at the local manor, the (wilfully?) ignorant comments about rewilding, the unexamined pro-hunting commentary - but parts of it are quite good and evocative. Having grown up in rural England where neither I nor my peers were involved with the hunting-and-shooting manor-house culture, it's irritating to read a book which cheerfully conflates "country life" with being someone who loves running to hounds and thinks hunting is great, but some of the descriptions were lovely. Still, I'd recommend other nature writers like Robert MacFarlane or Helen Macdonald (who engages with falconry, but in a much more thoughtful way) over this one.

The Lives of Christopher Chant - Diana Wynne Jones (reread)

This was a beloved book from my teenage years and I shared it with my child after there was a lot of enjoyment of Howl's Moving Castle and Charmed Life last year. This one was a harder sell, it turned out: it's slower-paced than I remember, and bleaker, and there's very DWJ-esque penultimate chapter where a lot of stuff suddenly happens and is revealed and resolved very fast. I do love Christopher and his friends, though, and as with many of DWJ's books, it does betrayal and sudden self-awareness heartbreakingly well.

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

I. Loved. This. I loved it! I'd read a couple of Moreno-Garcia's books before and enjoyed them reasonably but this was the first one where it really grabbed me and wouldn't let go. A post-colonial Mexican gothic horror in which the heroine probes into an English family's business when her cousin, who's married into this family, sends a disturbed message begging for help... it's so good. I don't want to say anything more about it but I enjoyed it immensely and it solidified Moreno-Garcia as a favourite author.

Toto the Ninja Cat and the Legend of the Wildcat - Dermot O'Leary

This was really cute. My child and I ended up losing track of some of the plot, which became slightly complex, but it was generally adorable. There's not a ton else to say other than it's a nice story with a few jokes for adults that are good sensible-chuckle material.

Untamed Shore - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

This was so good. It's a noir thriller without the supernatural elements I'd encountered in the author's other work, but it gripped me excellently. I really enjoyed the unfolding dangerousness of all the characters, including the protagonist, and I was genuinely uncertain about what would happen towards the end - it had me really tense! I enjoyed it greatly.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fic Titles That Are Questions (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: August 10th, 2024

part one

“Can I get some editing tips?” (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: This isn’t the first time Dan has seen AmazingPhil in the University of York library. It’s not the second or third time either. But it is the first time he’s going to be brave enough to say something.

A fic about bravery and bravado.

Can You Check Me Out? (ao3) - kageyama_drama

Summary: dan has been a busboy at a local restaurant for a couple years and phil is a server, brand new to the job. almost immediately, a friendship is formed, but it probably won't stay that way.

Downpour (Can't You Hear Me Calling Your Name?) (ao3) - kittycatrin (orphan_account)

Summary: In a universe where you're aware of the physical pain your soulmate is suffering, and where you can choose to share their pain or take their pain away entirely to ease their burden, Dan Howell feels guilty and ashamed. How could he ever be good enough for someone so kind, someone so compassionate? And what happens if they never meet?

It’s in the air and it’s all around, can you feel me now? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: After filming Cards Against Humanity PHAN EDITION, Dan gets an idea into his head involving his DDR mat. He is so focused on that that he nearly misses how Phil starts planning another thing related to the video.

If anyone asks, lap dancing is the perfect way to celebrate a high score on DDR.

Phil Who? (ao3) - CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)

Summary: Phil gets amnesia and his husband, Dan, tries to help him remember. Aka my knowledge of amnesia consists of the movie Overboard, and that one episode of Full House so don't come for me.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

what are you doing new year's eve? (ao3) - amaes

Summary: On a New Year’s Eve night out, Phil’s anxieties get the best of him, until he meets a soft-eyed bartender.

What day is it? (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: It's the first day of the semester, and it's already gone to shit: Dan's late to his first class, finds out his mortal enemy, Phil Lester, is the TA, and gets rejected by the girl of his dreams, but at least tomorrow's a new day...right?

Aka the one where Dan and Phil are stuck reliving the same day over and over and can't figure out why.

What Happened to I'll Always Love You? (ao3) - AvalonBell

Summary: It’s 2012 and Dan and Phil can tell that things are different and they don’t like it. It’s a shame that Dan doesn’t quite understand in order to fix something you need to talk about it.

What Happens In Vegas, Stays in Vegas, Right? (ao3) - JenCollins, WordsAblaze

Summary: Dan and Phil fall victim to Vegas’ magic and end up forgetting they got married, but it’s not all that bad in the end…

What if We Stopped Pretending? (ao3) - Full_Moon_Lover

Summary: Dan and Phil are the best of friends. That's it. Until Phil tells his old school friends he's bringing his boyfriend to the school reunion even though he's been single for years. If only he had a best friend willing to pretend to be his boyfriend in order to help him out...

Dan helps Phil out by pretending to be his boyfriend while also hiding the fact that he's been in love with his best friend for seven years.

What'd I Get Right to Deserve Somebody Like You? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: AU in which Dan Howell and Jack Howard have their own BBC Radio Show and get a chance to interview Phil and PJ's band indie band No Excuses. “Actually, I’m a bit in love with the lead singer and guitarist Phil Lester, but I hear that a lot of people are as well, so I’m a bit far back in the queue.”

Where Are You Christmas? (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Dan and Phil reunite for Christmas, and Dan suffers a tummy ache that just won't go away.

Who Was This Man Called Phil? (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: After four weeks of watching a raven-haired stranger come into the shelter to play with the puppies, Dan finally got the courage to talk to this man called Phil, sparking a new friendship like one he'd never had in his life before. Sure, it was all centred around playing with puppies, but sometimes, seeing a man for two hours a week was all it took to build a friendship stronger than one Dan had ever had before.

Who's Bad? (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: Dan is dating Phil who is the school’s biggest bad boy and he wants to show him that he can be just as bad as he is.

would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you? (ao3) - resurrectdead

Summary: “Hey.”

Phil reaches over the counter. Leaning one elbow on it, he puts a finger underneath Dan’s chin, gently tilts his head back up. Dan tries not to tremble. He darts his eyes up and they catch at his lips, stay there as he speaks. (He wants to taste them so bad.)

“I don’t know what kind of people you’re friends with,” he starts, “but if they aren’t nice to you, maybe you should consider switching them out for some that are.”

or: it's 1978, everything is a bad influence, catholicism makes you a bit sad sometimes and dan finds the answer to all his questions

Why Can't I Marry My Best Friend? (ao3) - phanipiel (Klaine_Lover)

Summary: King Phillip must marry before he turns 21. He doesn't want to, but if he doesn't his great uncle will become king. Phil hosts a ball to meet his suitors. Will his future wife be there?

Dan is Phil's personal servant. He'd rather spend his days in the library rather than doing actual servant duties. Thankfully, he's also Phil's best friend so he doesn't have to do much of that.

Why Can't This Be Love? (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka the fic where phil tries to listen to music to get over his feelings for dan, but accidentally connects to dan's speakers and they both realise they have feelings for each other and proceed to have hot steamy sex to make sense of their feelings

why did you steal my cotton candy heart? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: He pulls out a fake bouquet of flowers from behind his back, three of them. Pink, blue and yellow. Sunflowers, they seemed to be, and Phil’s beam practically is one. He passes them to Dan, who is gushing completely, cheeks stained pink.

‘Phil, how did you even get these?’

Phil’s smile turns cocky, ‘My grandma was psychic, I think, so I’m like all magic and stuff. Hence the fact I’m a magician.’

or the one where dan's a moody carnival worker and phil's a popular magician.

would we find each other in any universe? (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Dan meets the worst possible version of Dan and Phil.

You’re everything I want, why should I resist when you are there for me? (ao3) - smallbump

Summary: high school!au where dan’s failing too many subjects and phil tutors him, but they end up helping each other with so much more.

[ecargmura]

Whisper Me A Love Song Episode 7 Review - Meritocracy & Mediocracy

Meritocracy slaps. The animation, though? Mediocracy. Unfortunately, having an abrupt animation studio change is really harming this anime a lot. The band sequences are important for a show that has a band theme and having both bands lacking something in animation really hurts me. For example, for the SSGirls performance, Mari, the drummer, doesn’t appear in the panned-out group shot when it’s shown from other angles that the drums are right behind Yori. She also has her mic missing in some shots too. For Laureley, the performance was great. The song is addicting, but Shiho juggles through singing with and without a mic in some shots. Look, I don’t want to get too critical of the animation because it’s not terrible like how people on Twitter are exaggerating it to be. I consider it subpar. One of the animators for the show even replied to a poster saying that they had a lot of time constraint because each episode has to be out three days before airing so they’re on a time crunch to edit. Given the state of animators in Japan, I really do feel bad for the ones working on this show. It’s not their fault that they had to get everything handed to them all of a sudden.

Animation ramblings aside, I did like this episode. I liked learning more about Shiho. All I can say is that she seems like a complicated person. She’s someone who has her own visions when it comes to music and often clashes with her band members to the point that she quits. Job hoppers exist in real life, so she’d be a band hopper���a red flag member, in all honesty. Despite Shiho’s rather complicated personality and behavior, I can’t really seem to hate her; rather than liking her, I feel a little neutral? I understand her creativity. She may seem entitled, but she has her opinions and visions. I guess as a creator myself, I understand why she’s like this. Though, what’s not nice is to insult other people who worked as hard as you did. Shiho’s major flaw is that her personality sucks. Her story with Aki does hint that her falling out with SSGirls does have to do something with Aki’s feelings for Yori as she’s aware of them. I’m theorizing that she has feelings for Aki, but since it’s unrequited, she takes out her frustrations on the band. Aki just can’t catch a break.

I guess the reason why I don’t really hate Shiho is the fact that she’s rather nice to Himari. Being nice to someone like her shows that she’s not all that bad as she’s made out to be. Though, given that she doesn’t know Himari’s girlfriend is Yori, who is Aki’s crush, I’m actually afraid of what’s to come when she does find out. If Shiho does something bad, my opinions of her will go into the negatives.

The YoriHima moments are so cute with the two getting closer than before. They progressed to hand-holding and Himari feeling jealous. It’s a nice progress. All I pray is for nothing bad to happen to these two. The last thing I need is for them to be collateral damage to the whirlwind that is Shiho.

I do wonder where the story will head now that it’s taken a rather dramatic turn with Shiho and Aki seemingly being the focus now. I just hope it doesn’t turn into a train wreck. Oh, speaking of which, the lyrics for Meritocracy is like Shiho’s feelings about her ideals and her feelings for Aki in a way? Will Momoka get a love interest too? What are your thoughts on this episode?

[2-lines-and-a-circle]

Flavor of Love matchup: Haikyuu edition!

This one is for @xlulyx I hope you enjoy it! I'm also sorry it took a long time for me to write this!

Congratulations, your new friend is Shōyō Hinata!

When going through your information you mentioned how you believe yourself to be a sea salt and caramel, which is quite true. From what I’ve read I do think you hold more resemblance to that than any of the remaining teams. People who fall into either team caramel or sea salt and caramel are easy to be around. Most of the time it’s because they understand boundaries, but they also change their personalities a tad. Although, it depends on the people one is around. While I'm not sure if all of this applies to you, I do think you’re someone who blends well with others. In the end, I think it’s best to find someone who will naturally bring your inner self out when you’re together. Hence, the choice of a mint.

Mints find it easy to bring one’s true nature out because of their refreshing nature. Out of all of the mints I leaned more towards Karasuno’s mints. Their chaotic, yet controlled energy seemed to match you well, in terms of friendship. Narrowing down the options between Hinata or Suga was easy, there hadn’t really been a fight. Hinata, in comparison to Suga, has a young and fresh minty feel. Even as he ages Hinata always retains that aspect about him. In comparison to Hinata Suga carries a more mature minty feel that never leaves him. I think it would be better to have a younger mint instead of a mature one. There’s not a major reason why other than that I think your energy level may be too much for Suga to handle.

Together you and Hinata are two crazy crows who unexpectedly stir up trouble. It's going to be a friendship where there's never a boring moment. Since you also share a love of physical activity, I see that as something the two of you would partake in. More importantly Hinata will allow you to stay true to yourself. In a very natural way, you’ll slowly stop changing when you hang around Hinata. If you want to say whatever comes to mind, it’s totally fine to do so. In fact, you might find yourself behaving more openly as time goes by.

Moving onto your lover, drumroll please!!! Congratulations, it's Morisuke Yaku!

This ties into how you got Hinata as well, so please keep a close eye out! I don’t exactly picture you as a student at Nekoma, rather you’re completely at Karasno. However, the only reason you get to Nekoma is through games, but they don’t play against each other till later on. So, you’ll meet Yaku through the grapevine. Perhaps you join Hinata on an adventure somewhere and you meet both Yaku and Kenma. In fact, that’s exactly how I picture it to be. Just know the only way you’re ever going to meet Yaku is through chance and whenever it happens you can’t stop it.

Anway, you two won’t fall in love till way after high school. I mean it’s pretty obvious almost everyone in Haikyuu has no time for love. That doesn’t mean there’s no progress in the relationship though. Both you and Yaku will become friends after that strange encounter. Eventually you’ll find yourself hanging out with only Yaku, whereas before it included Hinata and Kenma. Don’t be mistaken by how romantic this could sound because Yaku isn’t a member of team coffee for nothing. Before you can even notice your own feelings for Yaku, he probably already senses it. Plus, he’s of course already smitten with you. It’ll start off in denial. He’ll ration he enjoys hanging out with you because your friends, but as always Yaku will be left wanting more. Like any other coffee, what he wants is what he can’t get.

This yearning that leaves him hungry is something Yaku is aware of, and he knows you’re into him as well. Whether you’re aware by this point, that is dependent on yourself. Still, there’s no chance Yaku will tell you because he’ll want to create a ground for you to land on. I believe Yaku is aware you can hold your own weight, but he’ll want to create a safe place for you. During his operation, it’ll fall through at one point, most likely due to you coming to realize your own feelings. When this happens, everything will start to spiral out of hand. Both of your feelings will come out and there won’t be any secrets left.

The takeaway is that Yaku will learn to create a safe place for the two of you with you beside him. Meanwhile, you’ll learn how love isn’t always refreshing or sweet, rather it’s bitter at times. Which, ironically, is something you’re not too fond of.

When in love Yaku will spoil you in any way possible, just create a checklist and he’ll do it all. Whatever you need he’ll get it, even if it seems impossible. Nothing is going to matter as much to him as you are, really, it’s sweet. However, you must shower him in love every now and then, I have a feeling he’s someone who enjoys being spoiled. Although, that feeling isn’t something Yaku will ask for all the time.

[dopaminergicaddictions]

5/19/24

6:04 a.m Edited/Added to

I feel like a first class asshole for not seeing my mom technically yesterday but it's still today for me...

I just looked up broken ribs and they do heal on their own and don't require a cast or anything but I'm tearing up a little cause she gets herself so fucking drunk she can't walk and she almost killed herself.

I was in new Hampshire. Skye was idk where all my mom remembers is laying on the floor in pain yelling for us and neither of us being there.

And it's like no one is saying surgery or anything but- like if she had fallen any harder she could have popped a lung, ruptured her heart or one of her vital organs. She fell around 6 I was aware of her pain at 2 a.m she doesn't even remember getting in bed or in her pj's...

It's just fucking depressing for a number of reasons. It's hard being a child/and adult child of an alcoholic who won't quit. You grow up knowing they are killing themselves and they won't stop. You cry and protest and try so hard to get them to stop and they won't. They treat you like shit and then:

You never get to know the real them. That's the hardest part is my drunk mom is the real paula. That's my mom. I don't get to see my real mom I never will and whats even sadder for her is she will never know herself truly. She will die as a drunk having lost her life to years of drinking and never being able to truly bond with her children cause we resent her for it. Or anyone else.

If she had fallen any harder she could have died due to an alcohol related injury. She would have died on the floor and I would have come home to that..

I can't stop her. No one can. And once she comes home she will be drinking her 80-100 proof vodka. And I can't baby sit her. I can't be around her bc it hurts to be around her. It hurts to look into her eyes.

I don't see her there. I see somewhat of an empty vessel. Idk how to describe it.

I regret not going but I'll go later today. I'm glad she's okay but I'm really fucking sad cause she could have died. And it's all bc she won't stop drinking. Everyone tries to tell her to quit but she won't. I've heard her friends yelling at her about it over the phone. She doesn't understand why people don't want to spend time with her.

At Thanksgiving when she was making an ass out of herself. She left the room and my aunt started talking to me (my aunt doesn't even like me) and she was like I haven't seen her this bad. I want to call her and talk to her more but she's always drunk and I can't deal with it. I then told her a convenient time to call her around 12 or 1 when she get out of work before the booze hit her.

My mom could have died. She would have died alone. No one can stand to be around her bc she won't quit. And I would have walked in on her dead. That's not what happened but it could have.

And one of the only things I can remember is her saying what daughter. You still have a cunt. You're deadname. You killed my daughter. Etc. Her banging down my door yelling these things at me in the past. And the good times are when I said if you can't beat them join them. When we got drunk together or high together.

It's sad. She's going to kill herself from drinking whether it's a fall or sclerosis. Or it'll be smoking. But with the way she drinks it prob will be drinking..

I was debating going to my uncles funeral he hasn't died yet but he is going to soon... I debated the reasons I'd feel regret-respect for my father, and psychosis/ my circadian rhythm playing a roll and that's it.

I Don't want to see a dead person even if I didn't love him. Not with psychosis. I won't regret it but i hate that psychosis plays a role.

Of course if someone who I really cared about died I'd go to their funeral regardless..

But yea. I'm really sad about my mother. It hit me bc I had some time to think and finally calm down.

[townofcadence]

She doesn't laugh, but her eyes say she wants to. "Oh sweetheart.... Did I get your blood pressure up by mentioning Criss Angel? I'm sorry, how insensitive of me!" Her perfectly manicured hand doesn't quite cover the smirk over her lips. "I mean, he's just basically one of the three magicians that anyone knows! There's Houdini who is dead, David Copperfield, who is doing....whatever, and then there's Criss Angel! But I'll let you in on a little secret."

Her lips purse like she's about to spill something naughty. "I don't even enjoy magicians! I mean we know all the tricks now, don't we? That's why they basically are left to kids birthdays. Who cares about some sleight of hand? I don't, but I think it's cute how worked up you are over his-- what did you call it, planted volunteers and edits? I mean, I don't like him at all, don't get me wrong. I just know who he is. I'm pretty sure magic is just one of those dying jobs, you know? Nobody really cares anymore but a bunch of stuffy old coats who all pat themselves on the back for keeping it alive! Until they pass on too, of course. Your guild's probably full of them! But-- oh but don't think I'm trying to be mean! I think it's awfully brave of you to keep a dying career alive just a little longer!"

She still seems lax, thought her shoulders do seem to tighten up as he degrades her work. Her smile becomes far more forced. "Well, I feel sorry for you! I mean, to degrade such work.... clearly you don't understand the complexities of my kind of work. It pays some, at least, and it's an honest living! I mean I'm using my valuable resources to be out here, solving crimes, and following leads that my faithful audience gives me. Sure you can say it's not work that brings a steady check, but I'd watch yourself! It's an easy trap to fall into, but it's sooooo small-minded to imply the only work that matters is some kind of career!" She smiles in a playfully scandalized way.

"What I do is meaningful and helps find the true culprits. I make the outside world safer, if you think about it. And I keep anyone who listens aware of the dangers and what could happen to them. I keep them thoughtful and aware and safe! What could be more impactful than that? Ohhh right. You probably think whatever it is you do with your magic tricks is around there haha! Well, I'm sure you probably make someone smile now and again! And that's always worth something too." She grins, curling her hand beneath his chin. as if to prop it on the air.

"But gosh! Jaywalking! You're so funny! I mean, you have to be joking, right? I can't believe you say you're friends with Arthur, if you don't even know about the hugeeeee scandal! I mean I'm sure he would've told you if you're so close! I mean you are close, aren't you? And it was such big news for a little town like Cadence. I mean, it's not every day in a place like this people disappear without a trace, you know. Or even get murdered! Though with your big glam go go go kind of living, maybe you're just used to all the crime! It probably doesn't even bother you when lives get upended anymore, especially in quaint little towns like this one. But that's where I come in, you see. I make people care. And I help the grieving find closure. It's what I can give back to my community that really matters." She touches her hand to her chest over her heart as if feeling something deeply noble about this.

God, the mention of Criss Angel nearly made him want to barf. As if his opinion of her wasn't low enough already...

His smile remained poker-steady though as did his gaze and he almost wanted...to laugh. Right in her face, even. Oh, he didn't miss those catty little jabs directed at him! Not at all.

But she might as well have been throwing peanut shells at him. He'd been raised under a self-absorbed woman who could eviscerate someone with a golden tongue and still have them come back begging for more. Did she think petty insults about personal fashion, size or job reputation would even make a dent in the amount of scar tissue around his shredded self-esteem? Hah. That shit had been layering up since he was in third grade.

" Oh bitch, pleaaaase you make me giggle with that naiveté it's sweet really. Vegas would eat you alive and not even bother spitting out the bones, " he tittered, fingers pressed playfully to his mouth, keeping his tone just light and teasing enough. " God, though I'd love to introduce you to Criss Angel sometime, you're exactly the sort of wide-eyed ingénue influencer he loves to stroke his ego. If you ever got him to notice you that is, you'd practically have to stalk him but I bet you're so good with that, you sly thing. He stays sooooo busy with all those planted volunteers and camera edit illusions. Still you have to admire how much he loves his own reputation, he tends to sort of draw in like-minded fans in that respect. Are you a little fan of his? That's so sweet? God I hope you're not gullible enough to actually think that's reputable magic though, I mean I can't tell looking at you but I'd hope you'd be a little smarter than to think he's the highest of the industry standards, the entire Nevada County Magicians' Guild would laugh you all the way out of Vegas and into Alaska. Oh honey don't ever come to Vegas and embarrass yourself like that I'd feel so bad for you. Ahah-hah-hah! " He did laugh in her face then and admittedly it felt pretty damn good.

Barely taking a minute to breathe or let her get a word in edgewise he rambled on because the urge to absolutely cut this unpleasant woman to pieces with backhanded compliments had all but possessed him. " Anyways, Patience, sorry wasn't paying attention to that last part you said you do a uh little podcast or something? Don't you have just the face for doing a podcast! I tease darling, I tease well it's nice you have a cute little hobby until something like real work comes in. Also oooooOOOooo dark secrets, you say? Oh that makes sense on why you cornered Arthur, trying to get him to confess to jaywalking or something. Get those suscriber numbers back up when the content starts getting stale, right? God I bet you're so clever with fattening up mundane 'true crimes' to entertain your followers too but please no tell me more, I'm soooo interested! "