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nonclassyparty · 2 years

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Hiraeth (P.SH)- Teaser

A hundred lives across a million realities.

Life is weird for Park Seonghwa. Especially when he’s lived through more than one. One life he falls asleep as a king and in the next, he wakes up as a college student with exams next week.

You are always there, in every life. Taunting him with the mistakes of his past. Always an inch out of his grasp and never his completely, yet Seonghwa thinks that every life in which he meets you will be the one where he gets to keep you.

A hundred lives across a million realities.

No one is the same but does anything really change? What a fucking joke.

pairing: seonghwa x reader

warnings: EVERYTHING. smut, angst, death, blood, gore...idk i’ll add later

taglist: send me a message if u’d like to be added :)

status: coming july 2022.

a/n: so SO SO SO here’s a little part from hiraeth, it will be a one-shot i finally decided bc it will go on forever if i make it a mini series 😭 this is just a little preview, me trying to test out something a little bit different lol. i hope you guys enjoy it bc im really having a lot of fun writing it also, there’s obv a lot of history involved here so don’t hold it against me too much, my knowledge from the japanese occupation of s.korea and all the other eras i mention is very basic (which i know isnt good if i want to write this properly but it is what it is, dont take it too seriously).

Myeong-dong, Seoul, 1921.

Seonghwa's mother hated when he smoked in front of the bakery. Apparently, it was a bad image that drove potential costumers away. As if a guy smoking tobacco outside of the humble establishment would somehow deteriorate the quality of their bread rolls. They were the only bakery on the street as well. She was so dramatic.

But thankfully, she wasn't here today.

Which is precisely why Seonghwa sat on the wooden bench of the display window, with the thin stick filled with tobacco between his lips as he lit it up with a match. He wasn't on break, per say, but if there weren't any costumers in the store and Jongho didn't need any help with the kitchen work in the back- there really wasn't a reason why he should be stuck behind the counter, especially with how hot it was inside due to the oven being used.

It was a little bit over noon, Hongjoong should be around here somewhere anyway. His childhood friend had nothing to do but roam the streets, looking for a mess to be in. It was why Seonghwa's parents never really liked his friend. They thought he influenced Seonghwa badly.

Little did they know that behind almost every bad idea they had, Seonghwa was always the main culprit and not the other way around. Hongjoong just followed him, for the sake of it.

"I'm assuming Mrs. Park isn't around today since you're smoking outside." Hongjoong spoke loudly as he approached where Seonghwa sat, taking a seat next to him on the windowsill. His white shirt was missing a button and was wrinkly, very different from Seonghwa's carefully ironed and buttoned up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"You would be correct." Was Seonghwa's response as he stared at the people moving up and down the street.

Ladies holding mini umbrellas to protect them from the spring sun, holding onto the elbows of the gentlemen that walked beside them. The neighbourhood kids of the working class running around with their toys in hand as shrill laughter followed them. It was always so lively here.

"They went to the docks to collect packages for the store today." Seonghwa explains as Hongjoong lights up a cigarette of his own. His cigarette box was embroidered with gold and it served as a constant reminder of the difference between them.

Hongjoong wasn't like Seonghwa. He was a rich kid, the son of the man who owned the biggest factory in town. Maybe that's why Hongjoong was so careless in following every bad idea Seonghwa had. Seonghwa did it because he was reckless and dumb while Hongjoong did it because he could afford it.

Even now, despite barely making it through basic education, he has a job secured. Maybe even outside of South Korea, if things get worse here. It's why he can parade around the town every day like this, with his wrinkly shirts and golden cigarette cases, because he will always have a place to fall back on.

Seonghwa, on the other hand, only had the little family bakery which he will probably inherit if the military don't throw him in jail or something by the time he's old enough to run it.

But he wanted to go to school more. Maybe become a translator for the Japanese so he could get an office job and get away from flour and the heat of the oven. He couldn't though, it was only available for people who could afford it, meaning children of the upper class and the militants from abroad.

Oh well. It's the stack of cards he's been dealt with in this life, so he'll just have to make due.

"There's a festival at the square tonight. You should come." Hongjoong offered, exhaling the smoke with his eyes crinkled from the sunlight poking into them.

"Can't. When mom and dad get back, we'll probably spend the whole night restocking in the back." He responds with a sigh, his lips quirking a bit. It's nice that Hongjoong keeps asking, despite knowing what the answer will be.

Ever since their last debacle which involved a stolen pig and running away from the guards, his parents held Seonghwa on a tight leash. It's been four months now and they still weren't budging.

"I'll tell you all about the pretty girls I see, don't you worry." Hongjoong teased, clapping Seonghwa on the back and he chuckled in return, shaking his head a little.

"Not like you're going to have any luck with them." Seonghwa teased back with a smirk, eyes still set on the strangers moving up and down, peering into the displays and so on.

"Hey! I'll have you know that me and Eunji from the Songs had a great time behind the hay barns." His friend complains with a whine, punching Seonghwa's shoulder lightly.

"Sure. Sure." Seonghwa was still smirking.

"Asshole." Hongjoong mutters, looking through the display into the bakery, "Where's Jongho?"

"He's somewhere in the bac-" Seonghwa's words get stuck in his throat as he catches a glimpse of a figure from across the street, walking with two children on each side.

A girl.

A girl clad in a white dress that reached her ankles, cinching at her waist. The wide sleeves of it swayed in the light breeze with every step she took as she observed the displays of the passing stores. Her long, midnight black hair was intricately braided and rested over one shoulder with a ribbon tied at the end.

Seonghwa found himself unable to tear his gaze away from her figure, something deeper than butterflies settling in his chest than when he normally spots a pretty girl. Something that makes him feel like he's getting pierced through the chest with a knife the longer he stares at her. Something aching to...pain? It was...Why is he getting the urge to be near her? What was this feeling?

This went beyond regular attraction and Seonghwa couldn’t explain why. Deep sorrow filled him up as he stared at the beautiful girl and his insides were twisting like a hurricane, bending and swaying anything in its way. He wanted to be closer-

"Forget about it." The voice that comes from his side cuts his train of thought and he turns his head to Hongjoong who was watching the same girl.

"What?" Seonghwa chuckles, awkwardly trying to play it off like he wasn’t almost brought to tears while staring at a complete stranger.

"Her?" Hongjoong asks, subtly nodding his head in the girl's direction. She was now crouching down next to the little boy that was with her, pointing out to him something in the display. "Forget about it."

"Why? Who is she?" Seonghwa questions with furrowed brows, the awkward smile slipping when he noticed how serious Hongjoong was being.

"Mayor's niece. Her name is Yumiko." His friend spoke with a hushed tone, gaze still trained on the girl's, your, figure. "She's here for the summer, lives in Tokyo, grew up there as well. Filthy rich family. I heard she's going to be one of the first women to start higher education there. So just...forget about it."

Seonghwa stays quiet, eyes still trained on you across the street. Yumiko. You seemed familiar despite the fact that he knows he never saw you before because he definitely would have remembered you. That name doesn't suit you, Seonghwa has no idea why he feels that way but he just does.

Yumiko. It means arrow child in Japanese. At first glance, he would've expected your name to be something softer, gentler and complimenting to your looks. Hm.

"Hwa," Hongjoong's stern voice and Seonghwa pulls his dazed eyes away from you once again and turns to Hongjoong who is staring at him with sharp eyes. "I'm serious. I know I always support all your stupid ideas for shits and giggles but just trust me on this, you don't want to get involved with her. Her father is fucking insane."

"I was just looking at a pretty girl, Joong." Seonghwa replies with a small chuckle, "it's not like I'll ever even talk to her or anything."

"Good, keep it at that." Hongjoong nods, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Besides, she's probably been spoken for in an arranged marriage ever since she was, like, twelve or something. It's how families like that work."

"Yeah, okay." Seonghwa nods finally, staring at his friend a little bit longer and trying to keep his thoughts in check. Yumiko. Yumiko. Yumiko. Y/N. Yumiko. Yumiko. Yumiko.

#seonghwa x reader #ateez x reader #ateez angst

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valkyrieofsmut · 4 years

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Captive Love 19

UF!Sans x Reader (or Frisk if you wanna)

Summary: Sweetheart enjoys flustering Papyrus, and he tries to educate her in the greatest of performers; Mettaton... Aka, share his interests with her. Also... other stuff happens.

A/N: Important stuff! So! While looking through stuff, I looked through the bookmarks to this story (on Ao3, for multiple reasons) and saw a comment in the bookmark saying that they weren't sure why she hadn't gotten her voice back, yet. This is honestly a good question. I guess it wasn't clear enough, I mean, a lot of stuff has happened. I tried to put the speech indicators to show that her voice is getting better, but then she'll yell and scream at Sans or someone on the phone (her idiot boss) and it'll get a bit worse. Also, I did a count of the days (quickly scanning through the whole file so I could be a little off) and at the beginning of the next chapter she's only been there for two weeks (13 days actually) and only been awake for 10 of them. Even if we give the benefit of the doubt and say three weeks (pretty sure that's the time frame I was aiming for about the point they had sex), she's basically gotten her voice back, its just a bit wobbly and squeaky. I dunno 'bout the rest of y'all, but last time I got sick (actually right before I started writing this story) I lost my voice for about a month and a half. I started getting it back after a month, had two weeks of the squeaky voice of a dog toy, and then a week of where it was mostly back, but still wobbly and had to clear my throat a lot because of it cutting out and squeaking. This is for informative purposes, not to be a jerk. Even though I feel like a jerk... lol God damn it! Do you know how hard I tried not to make it so he had a sock thing?! Maybe a preference or soft spot, but not an all out fetish. Like, 'ooo, yeah, those're sexy,' sure, but not, 'oh god, I'm so hard 'cause you're wearing socks!' *sigh* I fail at life... Enjoy an about double length chapter!.

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Story

Papyrus tries to be... friendly? Maybe. Is that what he's doing? Yes.

Contrary to what Sans had said, the two spent the time until Papyrus came back not having sex, but cuddling and making out.

“SANS!” Papyrus called from downstairs, knowing too well not to go near his brother’s room unless he was interested in an accidental show.

Sans pulled back from the kiss he was tangled in with (Y/n), glancing to the door before giving her another kiss and climbing from the bed to go down to his brother.

(Y/n) laid back, biting her lip and smiling.

Ok… so it hadn’t started out great, but, really, even if she left now, the sex was amazing, and she wouldn’t have a problem messaging him. Who knew about a relationship, but what they had was pretty sweet.

A sudden realization hit her.

What did Sans think of relationships?

Was it something monsters did? It seemed like they avoided showing that they had feelings or emotions at every turn, and she could see how having a relationship would blow that out of the water.

Did she want a relationship?

Yes, sex was nice, and it was nice spending time with him, but… it was entirely different than having a relationship. Right now, they were basically almost friends, with benefits. Maybe closer to fuck buddies who liked hanging out.

It was a strange gray area to be in.

(Y/n) stretched and climbed from the bed, hurrying to grab some clothes and head to take a quick shower to wash the smell of sex from her.

How long had it been since her body had felt so well used? So nicely taken care of?

...How long had it been since she’d been a willing participant in it becoming this sore?

She shook her head to get that thought out of her head.

It didn’t matter, anyway, that bastard was gone, and she was here.

She needed to enjoy her life.

She instead focused on washing up, bemoaning that her legs had gotten so hairy and that there was no razer around here to shave. How could she have forgotten to tell Sans to get one when she sent him out for everything and the kitchen sink?

After her shower, she went into Sans’ room and found the bag he’d brought back on the off chance that he had gotten one and she’d just missed it.

No luck, though she did find a pair of really cute over the knee socks. They looked like they were either from a halloween display, or from a store that sold punk and goth type clothing, having a print of tiny scattered skull and crossbones, and a bit of lace and back ribbon at the top.

Well… at least they’d cover the hairs on her legs and she wouldn’t be so self conscious about them.

She pulled on a shirt, the pants she’d originally been wearing, and did her best with her hair before she walked downstairs.

Papyrus was making a lot of noise in the kitchen, and Sans was nowhere to be seen.

He must have gone out for something…

(Y/n) went to the kitchen and stopped next to Papyrus.

He looked down at her with a suspicious glare, but she responded with a friendly grin.

Papyrus quickly looked away with a bit of red growing over his cheeks.

Embarrassment… that’s right; being nice flustered him.

A mischievous grin lifted her lips.

This was going to be fun.

As Papyrus started trying to make the shepherd's pie again, she stood near, pre measuring things and handing them to him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HUMAN?!” He demanded, his hands going to rest on his pelvis.

“He-ping,” she told him, then shot a huge grin. [helping]

Papyrus' sharp teeth gritted hard and he turned away with a glare.

(Y/n) held back her laughter.

So much fun.

As Papyrus was starting to layer, the door opened and Sans came back in.

“SANS! COME GET YOUR HUMAN! SHE’S UNDERFOOT!” Papyrus demanded.

Sans entered the kitchen, seeing (Y/n) helpfully handing a bowl of mashed potatoes to his brother, whose skull was glowing across his cheekbones and nasal ridge.

He stuffed his smokes in his pocket and strolled over to where (Y/n) was grinning at him. He gave her a devious grin back, his sharp teeth flashing at her, and let his tongue trace his golden fang suggestively.

Sans stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling behind her ear. "c'mon, sweetheart, stop botherin' my bro an' come in th' other room wit me. i got an idea 'f how ta entertain ya." Sans chuckled at her obviously flustered form against him. “c’mon sweetheart, give ‘im th’ potatoes an’ come wit me.”

Papyrus took the bowl of potatoes from her and made a disgruntled and disgusted noise as Sans guided (Y/n) to the other room.

He sat her on the couch and sat next to her, pulling the remote out and putting on a show.

(Y/n) sniffed the air, noticing a heavier cherry and vanilla smell around Sans.

"What's that sm-ll?" She asked.

"what smell?" Sans asked, looking over at her with a brow ridge up.

"It's on you, like… vanilla, and cherry," she told him.

"oh," Sans hummed, pulling out a slightly worn box to show her. "that's my smokes."

"You smoke?" She asked in surprise.

"yeah, sometimes," he murmured, his eyelights flashing to the kitchen.

(Y/n) mentally shrugged. Smoking was bad, but who knew if it even affected him the same way… He wasn't doing it around her, and at least the smoke smelled good.

Over all, filed under 'not her business'.

After a dinner filled with Papyrus shooting them disgusted looks from his spot across the table and telling them the 'thrilling adventures' he'd had that day, Papyrus made them stay downstairs to watch Mettaton shows.

"boss, i don't wanna watch any mettaton stuff," Sans complained.

"TOO BAD; I'M NOT LETTING YOU TWO WANDER OFF TO YOUR OWN DEVICES! WHO ONLY KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THEN!"

"heh, i know what'd happen," Sans commented, giving (Y/n) a suggestive wink.

Papyrus gave a put upon sigh and wedged his way between them on the couch.

"hey, bro, what're ya doin'?!" Sans complained, shuffling out of the way a bit so he didn't get sat on.

"I DON'T WANT THE TWO OF YOU CANOODELING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!" Papyrus declared.

"then let us go up ta my room, bro," Sans sighed, managing to hold back his irritation. "simple as that."

"NO CANOODELING!" Papyrus declared.

He spent a lot of the shows explaining to (Y/n) how their star, and sometimes only actor, was better than anything humans could possibly have, often spending half a segment explaining the ‘complicated and far superior’ bits.

After enough time had apparently passed, Papyrus decided it was time to go to bed and ushered them all upstairs.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Sans let out an irritated breath before looking up at (Y/n) and letting his sharp teeth curl into a predatory grin.

Heat shot through (Y/n)'s belly, her heart rate going up.

"c'mere, sweetheart," Sans beckoned her to the bed as he reached it himself. "i have a feelin' yer tongue's been away from mine fer too long…"

(Y/n) felt a bit of embarrassment mixing with the excitement that was filling her, heat starting to build already.

"aw, c'mon, sweetness," Sans drew his voice out temptingly, the low tones somehow reminding her already wettening core what he'd done to it earlier and making it clench. "no need ta be so shy noww."

(Y/n) slowly stepped toward the bed, fluttering filling her belly.

“there ya go,” Sans praised as she got closer. “that’s it, sweetheart, c’mon closer,” he told her as he knelt on the bed and moved to the middle, sitting on his knees. “wait, this’s gonna be easier if ya take those pants off b’fore ya get up here,” he commented.

A wave of trepidation fell over her, and she thought through what was happening, trying to be completely sure she was ok with what was about to happen.

One round of sex and a day of making out, you could… maybe still be friends. Any more than that… who knew…

“what’s wrong, sweetheart?” Sans asked, his expression turning more toward question than the suggestive thing it had been.

(Y/n) paused, then reached for her pants and started taking them off.

“mmm, there ya go, sweetheart,” Sans commented as she started crawling toward him on the bed, his expression slipping back to that one of suggestive intent.

She made her way up, then paused in front of him, biting her lip as she reached under her shirt and worked her bra off without taking off her shirt. Her attention was drawn back to Sans at the lustful noise he made as she threw it to the floor behind her.

“i didn’t know ya knew magic, sweetheart,” Sans chuckled, leaning forward and grabbing her by the hips to draw her closer to him. His hands slid down her thighs, moving around them, then up the backs to take her panties and start dragging them down her thighs.

As she lifted one knee so he could get them off, he caught sight of the dark fabric on her calf and twisted a little around her to get a better look.

Yes, there were little skull and crossbones distributed every so often over the black of the fabric, a bit of lace nearly hidden behind her knee.

“fuck,” Sans murmured softly, his phalanges lingering over the soft fabric as he helped her off with her panties.

(Y/n) looked at him in question, following his gaze, her leg registering where he was touching.

Oh.

Oh!

Ooooooooh…

He’d bought those… maybe not even purposely for her…

Here she was wearing them, and if the tent in his shorts was anything to go by, he wholeheartedly approved.

Sans tried to stop the drool from dripping between his teeth as his fingers took in the feel of her soft leg inside of the socks, tracing the muscles that filled out the fabric and looking sexier than he had imagined.

He hadn’t even dared to hope that she’d willingly wear them, let alone put them on herself, yet here she was, calves covered in the socks, looking sexy enough that if she pressed her knees together, her legs would look good enough to- he’d have to hold on to the backs of her thighs so that he could brace himself to thrust, keeping her feet together with his knees and her knees together with his hands-

Sans blinked his sockets to clear his fantasy, gripping the backs of her thighs and pulling her up into his lap, pausing only to get his shorts out of the way. Then he was pulling her up over him, her knees on the outsides of his hips, angling and positioning them both so that as he eased her to sit down, she felt the head of his cock brushing against her.

(Y/n) bit her lip, her body giving all the signals that it was interested and ready, and one of his hands slipped between them to guide his cock, brushing against her wet folds until he found her opening.

The hand on her hip gripped harder as he encouraged her down, sliding into her, and his face turned into a grimace of pleasure.

“nnn, fuck, ya feel jus’ ‘s good ‘s last time…” He told her through gasped breaths. “fuuuuck, sweetheart… ya a’ways this hot an’ wet, or is this jus’ fer me?” He groaned as she sank down, her thighs finally meeting where his shorts had crumpled around his femurs.

“Sans,” she whispered, her hands clenching around the back of his shirt, grabbing at his ribs and making him growl needily.

One of his hands buried itself in her hair, tangling and fisting in it to point her face to his, his teeth pressing against her lips and parting them to let his tongue meet hers, and she moaned, her hips following the motions he was guiding her through to get a bit of movement going.

It was a bit awkward due to the angle, and only served to make them both want more.

Sans' hand moved from her hip to give a rough grope to her ass, holding her against him as he turned and laid over top of her.

His pelvis stayed against her as he knelt up, his hands running down her calves, the roughness of his phalanges catching a little at her socks.

He gave a squeeze to her calves, then lifted them up over his shoulders, nuzzling them, his hands stroking over them.

His hands slid down to her thighs, gripping them tightly before starting to move his pelvis.

He rocked gently for a moment, but soon leaned forward, pushing her knees closer to her chest as he did, and it seemed to open her up to him more, making her able to feel every inch of him as he moved inside her.

Sans held her thighs tight against his ribs, keeping her calves on his shoulders and nuzzling against them as he thrust. They felt so soft under his phalanges, against his cheekbone-

His eyelights stayed on her as he panted for breath, thrusting into her rhythmically. He could feel her hands grabbing and twisting around his shorts, trying to pull him into her as her hips gave little bucks trying to meet his.

fuck...

She was so cute- the socks were adorable, and they made her look even cuter…

His tongue reached out and traced over her calf, making him grunt as she clenched around him. “oh, sweetheart,” he groaned softly, nipping at her calf.

A noise escaped (Y/n), but she tried to swallow it, trying to keep quiet as he sped up.

Sans gripped her thighs tightly, pushing into her faster and faster, his pointed teeth digging into her sock covered calf, his tongue brushing over it.

(Y/n) gasped, her mouth dropped open as she tried to stay quiet, her body bouncing as he pushed into her harder.

“fuck, sweetheart- ya squeezin’ ‘round me like that- ya like what ‘m doin’ ta ya?” He asked, watching her face.

(Y/n) nodded, her hand tightening in the fabric of his shorts.

“yeah?”

She nodded again as she gasped for air, trying desperately not to make noise to piss off the other skeleton in the house, starting to get light headed at how much oxygen she was taking in.

“nnn, fuck- y’re so sweet, sweetheart,” he told her, gulping in air as he tightened his hands, holding her steady as he pounded into her.

She was going to have bruises there, though it couldn’t seem to matter to her mind. He was hitting every perfect place inside her- it felt so good- he felt so perfect inside her- every spot lighting up with pleasure- so amazing-

And then he bit her calf again, his tongue trailing over the sock that made her seem even more adorable and sweet.

“Ungh-” (Y/n) squeaked, holding back the other noises as she came, her body tightening and pulsing around Sans as she softly moaned his name.

“uuuuuuugh, sweetheart- tha’s right, come fer me- nnn- ya feel s’good- fuck- fuckfuckfuck-!” He growled out as he fell over the edge and followed her into bliss, his jaw clenched tight to keep quiet. He didn’t need his brother bursting in and ruining the mood.

As they came down, Sans leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue and teeth moving with her mouth, small noises leaving them both.

Sans chuckled after a moment, his hands squeezing her ass with her legs now wrapped around him.

“What’s so funny?” She asked, watching his face.

“nothin’, i jus’ feel bad fer humans ’s all. any guy who doesn’t get ta feel ‘is girl keep pullin’ at ‘im like this, really. can’t ‘magine. jus’ feels so good. c’mere, sweetness,” he coaxed, though he was the one who did all the work of wrapping his arms around her and rolling so that she was again on top of him before he gave a content sigh.

“Their loss,” (Y/n) murmured back with a chuckle of her own.

They started drifting off, but (Y/n) would swear she heard Sans say, “‘m glad i found ya… some a th’ best luck in my life…”

A/N: Uh... In case it wasn't clear... Yes, Sans was thinking of pressing Sweetheart's calves together and fucking the space between near her knees... um... while she was wearing the socks... I- I don't know... I was going to have him just think about licking or nipping, but, in the moment that's what came out instead... Sans does what he wants when I write, apparently... Sans: damn straight i do, doll!

#underfell sans x reader #uf!sans x you #red x reader #underfrick #underfluff #tsundere sans #reader insert #mutual pining #y/n #angst #romance #fluff #Smut

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datingintampafails · 3 years

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Chapter 33: Robert*

Robert* reminds me of Peter*, in which, there’s confusion about names, the vibes are never quite right, and the date is pretty short. Though in this case, although we did talk for a longer time than Peter* and I did, the date itself was even shorter, a whopping 45 minutes.

Initially, Robert* likes me first on Hinge. His profile is not necessarily a slam dunk for me. He looks decent looking, though not my usual type, and has a chain bakery listed as to where he works. I like to think I am not a snob when it comes to careers, I’m pretty open-minded, but I do want to be with someone who has ambition and can have intelligent conversations with me since I am pretty well educated. Basically, someone around my level of thinking.

I decided to give the guy a chance and respond to his like by mentioning that I really like cookies at the place he works. He mentions that we could have a first date there and I responded by asking if he has dates with girls at his work often. He tells me he has only been working there a few weeks, so no. We legitimately talk about the different kinds of cookies for a while, then he moves on to ask me about what else I like. I mention my dog, then share that I space out and have trouble thinking on the spot and ask him about himself to see if it will also remind me of other things I like. He talks about seeing friends and playing video games, adds he “Doesn’t get out much.” Without missing a beat, he asks me what I’m looking for on dating apps. The dreaded question. I ask him to tell me first. My reasoning being, I feel like many men will cater their answers to what you want, instead of telling the truth. He writes me a long answer then gives me a TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) that is maybe ⅔ the length of the original message, so not that short, that says “going with the flow, down for a consistent [friends with benefits] or relationship, whatever happens, just not a one-night stand.” He announces it is then my turn to respond. I tell him I feel more or less the same, as his original longer message, but that I am not as much interested in the friends with benefits thing. Specifically, I say that with FWB, there needs to be an opportunity, or “nahhh.” I say that expectations only bring hardship and lightheartedly say I like to ask super important questions early in relationships, i.e. like my survey/application from way back when, and add “like cookie choices.” He asks me to clarify my opportunity or nahhh and says he is an open book and I can ask him anything. I explain my feelings more, saying that I don’t see the point of sticking around if someone is dead set on not wanting a relationship with me, as well as it is usually temporary and almost like a holding pattern. I ask my most important question, which is if someone wants children or not.

I get a slight argument back from him, regarding the FWB thing, saying that it can turn into more. I argue back, saying that it is still something that needs to be wanted, or at least both parties from the start can think “maybe someday.” He says this and that about the FWB, before answering my question. He says, more or less, he is open to it but it isn’t a necessity for him, however, he definitely doesn’t want kids right now. He asks me how I feel about it and I express I do not want them but would be open to adoption. He says that’s fine with him and quickly says, “Any other questions.” I am not meaning for this to be an interview. I say I do have a question, but that it is more of an open-ended/ statement that can be responded to. All I say for my “question” is the phrase “trump.” I also let him know I am going to sleep soon so we can continue our conversation in the morning. He does not like my question, that is that he says it is too vague and isn’t helpful for political discussions. I tell him that is my point, and that I am looking for him to express his feelings and that I can either oppose, agree, or somewhere in between. He says likely there would be all three. I go to sleep so I do not respond.

He greets me in the morning with a good morning. I greet him back, though I remind him I am still waiting on his opinions. It is a Saturday, so I also let him know I am about to present for a Zoom conference. He says he’s at a rowing camp and on a break from that, then asks me about my conference. He again requests that I be more specific than just “Saying one word.” I tell him about the conference, but regarding the political question, I send an eye-rolling emoji again saying that that is the point of the open forum, that I am looking for a blanket statement of his feelings regarding Trump.

He again asks about my presentation, and how it went, then goes on to give a pretty neutral debate, saying there’s good and bad, though it seems he veers more towards being a Trump fan, which is not my preference. Robert* offers to me that I can ask any questions about his stance. I am thinking, I do not need an invitation, I have a question and I will ask it.

Robert* inquires what I am doing the rest of the night. I say I’m staying in as I am going to Disney World the next day. I ask him what he is going to do the rest of the night, as that is the societally polite thing to do. I am asked AGAIN if I have any questions to ask him. He also says that he “wanted to do something with someone tonight. Chill night in maybe? Not necessarily sexual. Just relaxing, drinking some wine maybe.” My response is “haha sorry i don’t think i’ll be ‘someone’ today,” both calling him out on obviously being thirsty, as well and reiterating I am not planning on going out tonight. He admits defeat, saying that he didn’t think I would be either, but it was “worth a shot to ask.” However, he does say he does want to get together sometime.

Immediately before I can even respond to that, though, he asks me where in Disney I am going tomorrow. I tell him that Monday I could look at my schedule and put together a time and day we could meet up. I also express that I do not want to meet him at either of our places, mostly because of the stunt he had just pulled. I tell him my Disney World plans as well. He says that it is fine to talk about going out on Monday and says that “that would’ve been the plan” to not hang out at either of our places, despite what he had just said earlier about having a chill night in. I call him out on this, reminding him that he had just said something different, his response being, “yes, sorry if that made you uncomfortable. Im horny as all hell but my intentions are good and i can keep it in my pants. I promise.” How romantic. I send a laughing emoji and say that we’ve all been there before. He says he didn’t want to cross the “TMI threshold,” wherein I say that it is difficult to TMI me, but that doesn't mean I won’t be judgemental. His next comment is awkward, as he invites me to judge, but says that he’s “done [his] fair share of crazy/dumb/slutty shit. As [he is] sure [I] have too.” Weird to accuse someone you are trying to woo of being a crazy dumb slut, but okay. I bring up that I had an abusive relationship but that even in that, I wasn’t completely devoid of wrongdoing. He asks if I am comfortable talking about that and is sympathetic. I tell him more about that and he asks for some of the red flags my ex but off that I ignored. For the billionth time, Robert* offers that if I have any more important questions that I can go ahead and ask. I briefly acknowledge he asked again, by saying “lol if they come up organically I’ll ask” before continuing to talk about my abusive ex. One of the things I mentioned was that my ex was very critical about my body habitus, that is, that I was too skinny. Robert* takes it upon himself to say, “ as far as your body, it seems like you have a great fucking body…. As long as you’re not unhealthy idgaf im attracted to you sooooo” then sends two heart-eyed emojis and a shrugging guy emoji. The line he draws is that his “hands are rated E for everyone,” the context being, if someone hit him he would hit back. I explained my body issues some more and that I have stomach issues, and have always been a small person. He misunderstands and thinks I’m talking about having abs or having a fatty stomach. With the context I felt I had given, I sent a bunch of question marks before adding that my stomach issues were internal. He apologizes a lot for misunderstanding and says he is glad I’m in a better situation.

In his mind, it’s now a great time to bring up that we should text or snap. I tell him that Snapchat is “for hoes” if you only talk on Snapchat. Referencing to myself Darren* mostly. He sends me his number and then I text him. The next day, I am off having a day with my friend at an amusement park. He texts me often throughout the day and I respond when I have a chance. My best friend is asking me “who is this one?” and by the time she asks this, I’m honestly getting a little annoyed. She’s still asking about John* and where he is at. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. We’re mad at him right now. He is doing that shit again. I have to play the game, you know?” I describe Robert* as being kind of needy. At one point, Robert* is texting and asking desperately when I’m free and when we can go out. I tell him “I’m still out I’m not focused on that right now” The overeagerness is kind of a turn-off. And as mentioned earlier, we had already agreed to plan things out on Monday, and it was Sunday. He responds “Ok nvm. We don’t have to talk about that. Sorry.” Maybe I was harsh but had to put this guy in his place. I get a barrage of questions about Disney World. I mention I’m wearing my hat like a frat boy. He responds jokingly, “disgusting, how dare you.” I continue the charade by saying “yep I haze the shit out of people.” Next, however, his response is too cringey, “Mmmm haze me frat mandy” and adds “I can go more cringe.” I reply, “no thanks.” I ignore him for the rest of the day and then when I get home I finally tell him 1) I’m home and 2) what days I’m available. He gets irritated as the two nights I am available, are the only nights he is working. I have some friends coming into town the next weekend as well, so I tell him I’m not really available since I want to hang out with them. We go back and forth on what to do then with our conflicting schedules. Finally, we agree upon doing something after my work, but before his work on one of the days, giving us a tight segment of time but that should be enough for more or less a meet and greet. Because he is the one that will have somewhere to go, I tell him that he’s in charge of the planning and logistics because I wanted to make sure he had enough time to get to work.

We chat superficially in the meantime, mostly about video games and a little about past relationships. And of course… more inviting me to ask questions again. He puts me on the spot regarding the date and is trying to make me plan. I put the responsibility back on him. Finally, he suggests a place he had been wanting to try, that is more or less like a juice bar that also does protein shakes, kind of a health shop. Not really my kind of place, but I’m making him do all the planning so I won’t argue. We both independently go on a search for menus/information. He makes a comment regarding finding the menu but no prices. He randomly comments while we are chatting about the place “have i ever said that youre really fucking cute,” to which I just respond “not like in those exact words.” He adds “but yea you are. I humbly brag, “thanks! I know this about myself.” Typical male response is, presumably joking, “ok you’re too cocky” “youre ugly” “gotta bring you down a peg.” To this I just say, “it’s called confidence/not being insecure.” He switches things around saying “i know confidence is sexy.”

I don’t respond to this and get a good morning text the next day and he makes small talk about how we slept and such. It is the day that I have a date with Timmy*, but of course Robert* doesn’t know this. He at one point texts me saying that his morning got really shitty. I ask him what’s wrong and all he says is “I’ll tell you about it later.” I wonder why people do this, like why bring it up if you aren’t gonna talk about it now? It all seems like a sort of test. I do not play these games. All I say in response is “ok.” He adds “if I don’t text you about it remind me.” I don’t respond. He texts me again asking how my work is going an hour-ish later. I say it’s hectic and he asks if I’m on lunch. I send him a message about not getting full lunch breaks. I don’t hear from him for almost five hours, and given his text earlier about his bad day, I figured something could be wrong given how clingy via text he usually is. I finally text him and ask if he is ok. He says he took a nap and asked again about work, making a point that it was better than his day. Enough of the baiting, I finally say snarkily, “yeah you still have to tell me [what happened.” He is hyping it up now, saying “fair warning - its sad” I don’t respond because I figure he would still go on and tell me what happens and it didn’t warrant a response, but then he adds “if you still want to know” a few minutes later. I honestly don’t care too much, “if you want to tell me.” He finally does tell me what happened, and essentially he saw a dog be hit by a car and had tried to help it with someone else who saw the hit but the dog, unfortunately, didn’t make it. I commend him on trying to help and he says that he did the right thing and that’s why his day sucked. I don’t really know how to respond to that, plus at this point, I am getting ready for my date.

I lie to him when he asks me about my night, saying that I am chilling. More small talk to my disgust, and I verify our plans for the next day. He makes a comment about not being able to see the prices anywhere. This seems to be a worry of his for whatever reason, so I tell him that we can do something else and that I am flexible. He is of no help, as all he says about this is “idk what else we’d do.” My response is “ok” and I say I’m going to bed. In the morning it is finally the day of our date and I let him know that unfortunately I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me to work, so I’ll be wearing my work outfit tonight. He makes a comment about how he’s never seen a cute girl not look good in scrubs, and I let him know that today is the day that changes.

During the day, he states he is thinking of driving by to check the prices of the drinks and that he’s also got a back up. I tell him he should do whatever he wants. I look the places up and they are about 25 minutes away from my work. I head on that way once my work is done and I arrive first. I wait in my car until he texts me to ask which car is mine. I get out of my car and grab my things, now realizing I parked next to a puddle of water and got my shoes a little wet. I laugh it off and say oh well. I see who I presume to be him getting out of a car on the other side of the parking lot. He’s wearing a light pink hoodie, a little different but hey, real men wear pink, right?

I approach him and say hello and give him a hug. We get our masks on and walk into the store. Immediately we are greeted by who I can only assume is the owner of the shop. He is bright and happy and gives us his spiel about the type of beverages they have there. Robert* is being very quiet and is very short with the worker, saying he doesn’t know what he wants and I should go first. I try to describe what I’m going for, and the worker says the exact thing on the menu I want is unavailable due to a delayed shipment, but suggests something else to me and I accept with recommendation. I am done ordering apparently too quickly, as my date is still undecided. The owner ends up just asking him if he likes snickers, the candy bar, and he gives a not-very-believable “Yeah” so the owner suggests to him a shake that is based on those flavor patterns. Robert* is asked if we’re paying together and I look to him, he lets out an apathetic, “sure” and it takes all of my energy not to scoff. The owner tells us that they’re giving discounts out if you advertise the location by sharing a photo on social media and I agree to do so, because why not.

Then it gets a little uncomfortable. The owner is trying to be extra personable and make it a personalized experience, so upon receiving Robert*’s card, he starts referring to him using his name that is on his card. The only thing is, the name I know him by is not the name on the card, nor any fort of that name, like a typical nickname. Under my face mask, I smile and almost laugh to myself like, you dumb bitch who are you even out with rihgt now. Additional peer pressure from the owner also leads to us giving him our emails and signing up for their loyalty program, which also knocks off some cents off our drink. When I give him mine, obviously everything is the same, but when he gives his email, his email does have the name that I knew him by in the address, so I figure okay maybe Robert* is a middle name or something. Because we were under one order, there was also some sort of combo discount included as well since he got a shake and, I, a tea.

As we walk away from the counter and take a seat on a couch maybe 10 feet away, Robert* abruptly asks “what do you think the damage is?” Immediately pulling out his phone and checking the receipt of our drinks. “Uh I don’t know…. Sixteen dollars,” I guess. I am honestly put off by his obsession on price. I understand money issues, but it is not appropriate for first date behavior. I am pretty close, as it is somewhere in the mid $15 range. He scoffs at the prices.

Now that we are sitting together, I am noticing really how disheveled and not put together he looks. He has overgrown stubble, too short to be a beard, but definitely not stubble from just the day. His skin all over his face and body is dry and flaky, especially on his ears. Again, I expect a little more from a man who has had days to prepare for this date. I have been sipping my drink for a while, and it is honestly delicious, one of the best beverages I’ve ever had. He asks if I would like to try his drink. “No thank you, I don’t think it would go well with my fruity drink,” I half lie. The major reason why is that I am weird about sharing drinks/food and that so far I am almost repulsed by him and don’t want to share anything with him.

Despite my lack of optimism already, I try my best to be upbeat and give him a chance. I am trying to start a conversation and ask him questions and get to know him more, but he is a brick wall. He’s just staring at me and not saying anything, occasionally taking sips from his shake. Many of his responses are very sarcastic and rude. He actually brings up the ears; he had a very bad sunburn and that’s why they looked like that. Doesn’t explain the rest of his look though, but at least he was aware of that. It is pretty warm in the shop. I already opted to leave my jacket in the car, but at one point he decided to take off his sweatshirt. Underneath was a red shirt with almost like a confetti cake type pattern, of little microscopic dots of different colors throughout. I compliment the shirt, and mention I have one of a similar type of fabric pattern. I am nodded at. I again continue to try and force conversation, but I am still getting nothing.

Randomly he says, “come here” and puts his arm around me, pulling me close. I am extremely confused, as I was getting very negative vibes from him all over. I make my confusion known by commenting about how that was out of nowhere. His only response is, “oh you know.” “No, I do not know. I have no idea what is going on right now.” He only just chuckles and is like “you’re a cute girl.” I furrow my brow in confusion and figure we should get some air and suggest we take a walk. I ran to my car and put the drink in my car as well as my bag, being light, only having my phone and car keys for the walk. We take off and just walk through a nearby neighborhood. We have maybe 10-15 more minutes until he has to get going so he can get to work in time.

Conversation is still moderately forced, but a little better. At one point, we come up to a tree where the branches overhang drastically over the sidewalk. Whereas before I had been walking on the street side, Robert* has swung around and walked into the street, whereas I choose just to duck under the branches, which is easier with me being shorter, although I would not say he is very tall either. I made a comment about not caring and that he could have just “pushed me into the street/out of the way” and continued on, jokingly, about how you have to put a woman in their place. He says “okay noted I see what you like now,” trying to turn it into something sexual, it seems. I pause a moment, becoming much more serious when I say, “you know I’m kidding. I’ve told you about my abusive relationship so obviously I am not a fan of battering women.” In this moment, he pulls me into an embrace and tries to kiss me. I lean away and ask him, “why is talking about abusing women the time to try and kiss me?” He makes an excuse saying that he just really wanted to kiss me. I lie again, making another excuse about why I don’t want to kiss him, “I’m more old fashioned I guess, I’d like to get to know someone a little better and make sure that we are compatible and know each other well before I do anything.” Again, not entirely untrue. For the five hundredth or so time, Robert* says that I can ask him any questions.

I check my watch and declare, accurately, “We should probably head back towards our cars, you need to head out soon.” We walk back to the parking lot, having idle chitter chatter. When we get to my car, it’s perfect timing, as an alarm he had set to make sure he left on time goes off. I start to say our goodbyes and he tells me again that he wants to kiss me. I make a noise that makes my discomfort known, and he says, “well what about a kiss on the cheek?” I say verbatim, “I’ll allow it.” He makes a sarcastic comment, mocking me about “allowing it.” I retorted back saying, “well yeah.” He sticks to his word and only does a cheek kiss, and I’m cringing and can’t wait to wash my face when I get home. Being polite, I ask for him to let me know when he gets to work.

Using my Apple Carplay, I ask my car to text him when I notice he is driving behind me. Though, as all I’m getting is audio, I don’t know exactly what I am texting until I get home later.

(the first two texts of mine are my car texting and not manually)

Immediately, he asks me my feelings about him.

I then offered Venmo him money for my drink, as obviously money was a huge concern for him. He accepts and sends me his Venmo. I sent him the money and let him know so.

And that is that. He doesn’t text me after that.

#dating #relationships #stpete #florida #tampa #tampabay #hinge #bumble #tinder #datingapps #baddates

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lixrk · 4 years

Text

plot call + muse update!

HELLO EVERYONE !!! my hiatus is ending soon so i wanted to make this post before it does to ‘get ready’ in a sense lol. anyways! first of all, lix finally quit his job as a host in a host club took him a while i know and has decided to... *drum roll* do youtube full-time! wow, amazing!

what does he do on his youtube channel?

dance covers, most of them he choreographed himself. he started doing vocal covers too!

he also vlogs, you know, for the views

mukbang with an assortment of cheap junk food

if you’re also a friend of his there’s an 80% chance he’ll try to drag you into his videos

AND NOW FOR THE PLOT CALL !!! i’ve been... super horrible with interacting with most of the people on here because i just stick to twitter for plotting and well, i don’t have all of you on twitter... and i wanted to change that! i want lix to meet a lot of your muses as well as make more meaningful connections, after all. so! this is an attempt at that!

under the cut i’ll be listing a few plot ideas that might interest you guys. please LIKE THIS POST if you want me to slide into your dms for plotting. you can also REPLY WITH A SONG TITLE if you want me to write up a random starter for you (based on a prompt generator or a sentence starter). thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to writing with all of you!

additionally, you can reach out to me on twitter (@wowyoungie) and discord (ask for the id) if you’re as bad with tumblr ims as i am (although i’m awful at messaging in general,,, i’ll do my best though!! i promise!!)

PLATONIC

a very close friend of his, his ride or die. they probably knew each other for a long while, and is aware that lix is... running away from his rich family lol

the one friend that helped him polish his korean... he owes you big time. he’ll share his pizza with you everyday

that friend that let him stay at their place when he just returned to korea before he moved out and found a proper roommate... this friend can be the same one that helps him re-polish his korean if you want!

since his family goes to korea every summer, friends that he made during those times!! he’d treasure every friendship... regardless of how often you meet up!

as of lix’s birthday, his dear roommate bought them two cute bunnies! maybe we can make a plot around that. he loves gushing over his bunny (which he hasn’t named... help him with that maybe hAHA).

people he can drag into his videos! it doesn’t have to surround dancing, he does random challenges too (for the views...) and you just somehow get dragged into it. he’s super embarrassed but you know, you do what you have to do. join in on his discount mukbang too

those who were his clients back when he was a host. his host persona and his real persona is a very different. in reality he’s mostly shy and easily embarrassed. maybe you ran into him expecting host lix but he’s just embarrassed and panicking and ‘omg they’ll think i’m so lame outside of work’

lix is a person that gets jealous quite easily. he still doesn’t have his life structured properly and you seem like you do. you seem to know what you want, meanwhile lix doesn’t, he barely knows himself. he admires you for that, but he also feels envious. bonus if you two are friends and it’s only a matter of time before he explodes on you

people his parents forced him to befriend, and though when he still lived under their roof he did befriend you, after he ran away he never contacted you ever again. he doesn’t know whether the friendship the two of you had was real, nor does he want to find out

alternatively, people his parents forced him to befriend, but he just doesn’t like you (and maybe you feel the same way or not). he tries not to let it show at the time, but after running away he starts treating you differently

he’s a bit awful at keeping up with debuted idols. teach him about them! make him stan a group! please please please! you can be his stan twt educator. he’ll do his best to keep up

trainee friends! he’s kind of jealous of you but he really wants to learn from you. whether you were friends before you became a trainee or after, it’s free real estate!

maybe you work as a delivery person, and you’re wondering why the hell this guy keeps ordering food at late hours into the night. he’s a night owl, mostly because of his previous job as a host club that usually occurs at night, and also because... he’s an insomniac

NOT-SO PLATONIC

exes. can work with girls even though he’s gay because it took him a long time to come to terms with it

if a girl, he probably didn’t give you all his attention. he doesn’t initiate any sort of physical affection, which might be the first thing that tipped you off that he isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are.

if a boy, you probably witnessed his meltdown and insecurities firsthand. it was probably a quick relationship, because he panicked and couldn’t handle the pressure at all, ending things abruptly even though at the time he probably did like you. he just couldn’t handle the idea of being out of the closet

one night stands... that says it all. whether you were friends beforehand and got drunk and made mistakes or you were lonely strangers... anything is free!

friends with benefits... need i say more. could be a past thing, and now your friendship is on the verge of shattering or something

the one that got away? maybe you had feelings for him before. he knew about it, but pretended not to, because feelings are scary and his insecurities were just about ready to eat him up. whether you decide not to confess or you did and he let you down, things are a bit rocky now

an unrequited crush

on your part, it’s pretty much established that he’s awful at feelings so, that isn’t fun

on his part, it’s most likely a past thing. he was too scared to say anything about it, or maybe he did and you let him down, causing him to harbour a lot of regrets and ‘fuck i shouldn’t have said anything’ but time heals wounds and now he just misses having you as a friend

OPEN EVENTS

#rkcollab: collab time! lix is eager to learn more rapping and whatnot since he’s a beginner, but he also just wants to sing with friends on his youtube channel

#rkdanceoff: listen,,, he’ll love to have a dance-off with literally anyone, he’ll most likely upload it to his youtube channel too. be his competition! it’ll be fun, he won’t go down easy

#rkcharity: charity time! let’s do this! either you dragged him into it or vice versa. either way he’s not gonna half-ass this

#{ ooc. }#rkopenplot #( i know i owe people replies... )#( i'll get to them! )#( please nudge me if i forget you )

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moon-yeongjun · 4 years

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“Tae-yah, I love you, but this is a stupid dream.” || Moon Bros

Summary: June 5-- Tae asks for permission to get a nipple piercing and then wants boy and friend advice, thus torturing Jun. This is very funny.

@moon-yeongtae

Tae: hey so would u ever sign a paper so I could get my nipples pierced and not tell eomma?

Jun: what the hell

Jun: why would you want to do something so absurd

Tae: bc it looks cool?

Jun: aiya

Jun: look i dont think that is something we could hide from eomma for forever

Jun: cant you just wait a year and a half you'll be 18

Jun: then you can do whatever horrible body mutilation to yourself that you want

Tae: maybe

Tae: but if I really wanted to you'd sign it right?

Tae: :)

Jun: i dont think so

Jun: i am not going to go behind eomma's back

Jun: then you'll get me in trouble

Tae: :(

Tae: i could tell her I forged ur signature if she found out

Jun: no

Jun: this is a waste of your money anyway

Jun: if you still want it at 18 then you get it then

Tae: my friends are gonna get piercings

Tae: all three of them

Jun: oh u going to buy drugs if all your friends buy drugs

Tae: no

Tae: but I also don't want drugs

Jun: well why do u want nipple piercings anyway are you trying to be a pirate eh

Jun: a drug lord

Tae: maybe

Tae: im actually starting my own biker gang

Jun: all the more reason for me to say no

Tae: why can't u support my dreams hyung

Jun: tae yah i love you

Jun: but this is a stupid dream

Tae: wow

Jun: someone needs to tell you

Jun: that someone is me

Tae [hours later]: Hyung

Tae: on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being u actually like it and 10 being u want to shoot urself in the face

Tae: how do u feel about me talking to u about boys

Jun [deleted]: 씨-발

Jun: a 5

Tae: ok so like an 8

Jun: i said a 5 didnt i

Tae: 5 means u have no feeling one way or the other lmfao that's impossible u have an opinion about everything

Jun: if you tell me you want to get your nipples pierced for a boy i am at a 10 how about that

Tae: haha no that would be just for me ;)

Jun: right

Jun: the answer to that is still no

Tae: no i was actually going to talk about how i'm never going to date anyone in my whole life and i might as well become a monk

Jun: oh well personally i think that is a good life decision

Jun: monks are well respected

Jun: i am also probably going to become a monk

Tae: yeah why don't u get laid more tbh

Tae: all my friends talk about how hot u r so i mean u probably look alright

Jun: i am now at a 7

Jun: we're not supposed to be talking about my sex life

Jun [deleted]: also you should get new friends they are not allowed to come over anymore IN WITH THE NEW OUT WITH THE STUPID

Tae: ugh

Tae: im depressed

Jun: okay

Jun: because you think you're never going to date?

Tae: no

Tae: bc i can't date nemo

Jun: why not

Jun: he likes boys too

Jun: does he not like you?

Tae: apparently louie had a crush on me this whole time

Tae: and thinks we are assholes

Jun: oh wait im remembering this

Jun: we did talk about it

Tae: yes

Tae: and like

Jun: i told you to tell him to shut up

Tae: he's just now starting to talk to us again

Jun [deleted]: first of all i cant believe you have so many gay friends is everyone just gay now

Tae: and nemo is a really good person and cares

Tae: about louie's feelings

Jun: so you'er saying he wont date you because he does not want to upset his other friend

Tae: yea

Jun: im not really sure what you want from me here i dont really do relationship advice

Tae: ok

Jun: it seems to be that louie is being selfish and you should just date

Jun: right? is that crazy?

Jun: and if he is going to not talk to you well he is a terrible friend anyway good riddance

Tae: that's a little bit how i feel

Tae: i also see nemo's side

Tae: but the longer it goes on

Tae: the more i just really don't give a fuck what louie says

Jun: you shouldnt give a fuck about him but i guess you should care what nemo says since he still has to agree to date you

Tae: u said fuck lmao

Jun: ive said fuck many times before

Tae: yeah but i was expecting u to yell at me about my language lol

Tae: anyway

Tae: i want to kick louie in the mouth and date nemo

Tae: and im depressed bc i can't do that

Tae: bc i really really like him

Tae: a lot

Tae: so much

Jun [deleted]: well thats nice... no what the fuck do u say to someon

Jun: ah well im sorry tae yah that your friends are both equally stupid for different reasons

Tae: im moving to texas

Tae: that's like one of the only states i know

Jun: i hear things are worse there

Jun: you should move to new york thats where everyone goes

Jun: personally would hate it but

Jun: i dunno, lots of gay people are there

Tae: like city?

Jun: yes sure

Tae: that shit is too big

Jun: aiya now i will yell at you for your language

Tae: can i stay home from school tomorrow lmao

Jun: what? no

Jun: there is no good erason for you to miss school

Tae: it's to stop me from killing a skinny white boy

Jun: not good enough your education is most important

Jun: a little murder never hurt anyone

Jun: but missing school? terrible tragedy

Tae: except the dead guy

Jun: well in a way you're doing him a favour if you think about it

Jun: he doesnt have to go to school anymore

Jun: but you do

Tae: omg

Tae: that's a good reason to keep him alive i guess

Tae: so he has to suffer

Jun: there we go

Jun: other ways to get revenge

Tae: he's being such a little bitch baby too

Tae: UGH

Jun: yes just get it out

now

Tae: did u know he's not even looking at me

Tae: like he won't

Tae: he looks off to the side and like doesn't speak actual words to me

Tae: he will text when we are in a group and acknowledge me there

Tae: that's it

Jun: thats very immature

Jun: weird way to treat a crush if u want them to like u back too but thats neither here nor there

Tae: what he is basically doing is making sure i will never like him back probably bc why would i like someone who can't like

Tae: talk about what is bothering them

Tae: and instead ignores me

Jun: well i dont know i definitely wouldnt

Tae: and like we have talked about it

Tae: but he basically said i was a dick and i should leave him alone

Tae: so the whole thing pisses me off i hate it

Jun: well maybe you should

Jun: let him get over it or whatever

Tae: i am

Tae: im not being pushy it just sUCKS

Jun: well i saw a lot of people in my year date and break up over and over

Jun: the good thing is he will get over it and you will all forget about it

Jun: then you and nemo can date if thats what you want

Tae: yeah

Tae: when u come home can u bring some nectarines

Jun: what am i a delivery boy

Jun [deleted]: yes yeong junnie

Jun: fine

Tae: thank u hyungie

#text #moon bros #moon bros text

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stillebesat · 5 years

Note

i was rereading your stork au (bc i Love It and im so soft for baby logan) and i was kinda wondering how the legal bits work in that universe? like do the storks tell whoever (idk the right government people lol) that ‘x has a kid now’ or do the new parents have to like,, go register or something? idk its just a thought that came to mind after reading

(So happy you love the STORK AU! ^^;; It’s been a favorite of mine to write)

Short Answer: MAGIC!! It fixes everything! ^^;; lol For the most part the STORK’s magic makes pretty much all the necessary changes to all documentation instantaneous as soon as the new parent(s) accept their child.

Longer Answer below the cut:

The nice thing about STORKS is that they do have their own brand of magic that helps to facilitate the child’s move to a better family.

Their main magic is used for the changing/erasing of the original parent(s)/guardian(s) memories so that they won’t go looking for the child and to ensure that the child doesn’t have to worry about running into them again.

But this magic also is used to alter official records that the government (and medical, educational, etc places) keep. Basically if a government person just happened to be looking at the child’s name on their birth certificate when they’re taken by the STORKS and accepted by their new family it would be like a ‘blink and you miss’ it sort of change. One second the name may say Joe Johnson and the next it would be Joe Anderson. (The person may not realize that the name changed or think they misread the name, it’s so quick)-And if the child doesn’t want to keep their name that their original parents gave them, then the paperwork could change to say Andrew Anderson or even Jennifer Anderson depending on what the child wants to be called. Etc.

-The changes are also very very easy to make for those government systems who have digitized their information. As basically just blip and the necessary information is altered and no one is the wiser.

The good thing about the government though is that there are billions of people living on the planet and keeping track of every single form for every individual is such a momentous task that unless the person in the government is involved directly with the STORKs (aka they accepted a child from a STORK) it’s unlikely anyone will notice any changes to documents that contain the child’s name.

The only major difference to most governments is that since most of the time the original parent(s)/guardian(s) believe that their child was killed, there needs to be a paper trail there just in case one is needed. (aka death certificates and insurance claims filed and processed)

-If there is insurance on the child, then there’s the added complication of ensuring that the money was processed and placed in the right accounts so the original parent(s)/guardian(s) aren’t like “Where’s my money?”

Also what all needs to be changed in the paper trail of the child often depends on the situation that they come from and their age.

It’s a lot easier on the STORKS when the child hasn’t yet entered school as there are less official records (mostly like a Birth Certificate, Social Security Number, and maybe a couple of medical records.) that need to be altered.

It’s also the reason why most of the STORKs work with babies and toddlers. (And how they got their reputation for carrying babies to parents in the stories) There’s less that needs to be altered to ensure that the child can seamlessly enter into their new family’s lives.

But if the child is older and in school then there’s more complications and potentially more legwork (including physical visits to differing locations) that the STORK has to complete after uniting the child with their new parents in order to ensure that the no one goes “Oh hey wait what happened to Jimmy who was in class last week?” When the original parents think that the child ‘died’ three years ago.

-Basically if a person was closer to the parents, their memories will shift so that they too think the child is dead.

-If the person was closer to the child, they will forget who the child’s original parents were and remember only the new parents and in most cases will think that left because they moved away.

But yah. Schools complicate everything because there’s such a paper trail in those buildings. Assignments, Tests, Scores, Assessments, Nurses Visits, etc etc. (again yay for digital stuff as computer records are quite easy to alter for the STORKS.)

It’s even more complicated in the rarer cases where the ‘child’ is at that near adult stage of 15-17 years old where they may have a job (and all those certifications/background checks, etc) or have received their learner’s permit/driver’s license.

Because Remy usually deals with infants and toddlers his job isn’t as complicated as other more experienced STORKS who take on the older children in need.

And because Virgil is Logan’s original Dad, his case is different than most as he can keep his original name as his birth certificate was filed using Virgil’s last name as Logan’s last name and named him as father.

The main complication is that the Mom is still alive and now believes that Logan is dead.

-With Remy’s magic she believes that he died in the boating accident along with Virgil because Virgil’s Grandfather told her that Virgil was dead. Now the memories shift to include Logan in that.

So there’s a tricky bit of magic there where you could call it…a mirage. If she were to happen to look at Logan’s birth certificate she would see Logan’s name with her Maiden Name (though since she and Virgil weren’t yet officially married, she never took his last name and hasn’t yet been married to anyone else.) But if Virgil were to look at that exact same certificate, he would see his last name as Logan’s last name.

There will also be a Death Certificate found in the state of Florida that has Logan’s name with his Mother’s Maiden Name on it if the Mom were to need it.

In very very rare cases. A STORK is unable to properly change memories/paperworkforms because they have to act in the spur of the moment and take the child before a new family can be found for them. In these sort of cases it’s like…’the strings of fate’ -or in this case the ties of family- are violently snapped leaving the child(ren) adrift with no connections to anyone (records vanished, memories people have of the completely gone from their minds leaving holes in memories) until the STORK can get them out of imminent danger and realign them with a better family.

This happens to Remy when Logan is 14 years old when he rescues nearly 16 year old Roman and Remus from a cousin they lived with who was deadset on killing them.

Remy basically yanked the twins off the street as they ran by, shielded them with his wings from their cousin’s view and promptly used his magic to ‘break’ every single thread connecting them to their old life because he had no time to be ‘delicate’ when their lives were literally on the line.

As to the new parent(s), mostly what they have to worry about is what they’re going to tell people when they’re like “Hey…who is this?” The STORK’s magic, however, ensures that whatever story the new parent(s) decide to tell, it will be believed so that the child can be better accepted into their new life. (Though there’s almost always that one distant relative that disproves of everything no matter what you tell them. “Can they even afford to have another child?!” “Adoption?! Why in the world would you subject yourself to that?!”)

Again with Babies it’s rather easy if there’s a parent involved who can bear children as they will often use the story of “I didn’t know I was pregnant!” With older children the reason can be slightly more complicated and parent(s) have told very simple stories of “we decided we wanted to adopt this little angel” to more complex stories of “So apparently I actually had twins in the hospital but they told me one died but only now through Ancestry.com did I discover my child had actually survived and after a lot of searching we found each other.” (The STORKS have to shake their heads at some of the stories they’ve heard the parent(s) tell to explain why they suddenly have another child)

Paperwork wise the parent(s) usually find all the necessary documentation for the child in the mail within the week (after the haze of ‘we have a new child!’ has faded a bit) to ensure that there won’t be difficulties in their future (drivers licenses, passports, job applications, college applications, medical history, etc).

Again with Virgil and Logan it’s easier in some ways and difficult in others since Logan is Virgil’s biological child. So he can rightfully claim that Logan is his son.

But it does take Virgil a good two or three days before he feels like he can leave the building with Logan and tell people the story he’s comfortable telling.

Because like….how do you explain to people that your Grandfather didn’t want your fiance to marry you and so he set up the boat explosion to kill them, but somehow they survived, but then he convinced the Mom to fake being dead and then lied to Virgil about the her and Logan’s survival only Virgil discovered years later that they could potentially still be alive and when he ‘found’ them (Virgil never sees the Mom again, Remy is the one who took action to find them before Virgil could get a chance to) and Logan’s Mom could no longer care for him (otherwise Remy wouldn’t have been able to take Logan from his mother) and ‘wanted’ (since she’s not alive) nothing to do with Virgil and so Virgil took Logan back home to live with him and raise.

Yah…Virgil doesn’t tell that story to more than a handful of people. He mostly sticks to “His Mother took him from me, but now can no longer care for him and so I took my son back.” And if they know his situation with his ex-fiance will also state that she ‘faked their deaths and I just discovered they were still alive.”

But yah, paperwork wise, not much needed to be changed for Logan as he was too young to be in school (at almost five) and his Mom hadn’t enrolled him in preschool and had stopped taking him to daycare a good year before when she realized he could take care of himself well enough that she could leave him home while she was at work and not worry about him burning down the house (and save $$$ in the process) so no one would question why he no longer was coming.

Hope that answers your questions! Let me know if you have any more. :D

#STORK AU #neglectful parents tw #death talk tw #attempted murder tw

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the-numbers-game · 5 years

Text

life update - long ramble

in less than three weeks, i will have finished my postgrad. it’s been a hecking fast course, and very intense at times. like most things im a bit gutted at myself for not trying as hard as i can. but i’ve done mostly okay considering my efforts. a range of grades. i was gutted last term that i got a c in my criminal litigation class just due to my nerves. all my content was perfect, i was just shit scared of public speaking. i bombed conveyancing cos that class was shit. but i did good in my other two and i’ve got good grades this semester so far. but i’ve also missed more classes, and i think i bombed my oral last week, and i’m bound to bomb my oral this week too.

idk how i will adjust to being not-in-education for the first time since i was 5 (3, if you include preschool). tbh, if i dont get a traineeship i may go back in 2021 or 2022 and do a masters. something on the constitution and human rights. maybe i’ll write about labour again.

i’m gonna chill for a month or so, working my 2.5 days at work whilst i still have my student loan rolling in (LOL, i get hardly anything cos i’m a pg and most of it is gone in the repayment of the personal loan i took out to do this course). then, i’ll increase my days to 4. i can live off 4 days, and it means i can still count this job as not being my life whilst i hunt for a traineeship, and failing one that starts pretty soon, another job. i’m fixed term, and i was lucky in i got a promotion, but the promotion was also for a fixed term position.

i hope my contract is extended, i put my face out there a lot at work primarily for that reason. i go on training courses and sit on committees, partly because i get away from my desk but also because it makes me look like i care about my job. i’ll mainly look at the public sector, as i feel like i belong there, i like flexible working and having an interesting caseload. and then law firms, as maybe if i get an admin job at a firm they will take pity on me and recruit me. failing those two, i will look charities/trade unions/politics before resulting to texting someone at my old work and begging for a job back. or maybe i’ll do agency work. fuck idk. i shouldn’t worry about it. i’ll get a job, right?

i do hear back this week regarding a traineeship. i’m not hopeful. i never am. but the interview did go really well. i didn’t stammer, i spoke freely, we spoke a lot about unions and the labour party and i felt like they liked me. they only interviewed 6% of applicants, so i’m lucky to get through and even if i don’t get it i know i’ll be less anxious about interviewing for traineeships again because i know it can go well(ish). if i do get it i’ll be over the moon, it’s not human rights and it’s not public law but they do a lot of union work and pro bono, and that’s good enough for me.

over the years, the way i experience anxiety has changed, dramatically. for a while, i had quite a good support network of ‘safe adults’. like my friends, past and present, and callum, have all been remarkable, but i think being able to relate to adults/people in authority when you’re not quite an adult yourself is good for validation. it didn’t last long and friendships and ‘drama’ started to consume my life. when i finally moved out of retail into an office environment, a lot of my anxiety, especially the physical stuff, shifted. i shit you not, i would physically throw up before many of my shifts in retail. so again, i thought i was coping as things weren’t as bad as they were back then. especially when it came to depression, as i actively removed myself from the main environmental factor causing me to have low moods.

i was dumb, cos of course i still had sadness and anxiety. it was just different, and because i channeled a lot of stress into uni, being new at my job, and being skint, it felt like there was always an excuse it wasnt anything about me,it was xyz and hey fuck look at least im not barthing and crying every morning yeah?

but 2019, whilst being a year of several incredible highs and generally being a good year was full of anxiety and due to me doing such an intense course with lots of orals, i realised, yes, i may not be taking as many panic attacks as i took when i was 18 but i felt as bad, fuck, even worse socially and internally, than i did back then. so i went to the doctors just before the new year, and got put on drugs.

that was a big step, as i always have a fear about the doctors but i have a really good gp surgery, my main doctor is a bit odd but really helpful. one of the other doctors did a whole law degree and the diploma before deciding it wasnt for her and she wanted to go to med school, so shes a really good person to turn to. the reception staff are kind (and you can book appointments online too, which i find really helpful). i think as well, i always viewed my anxiety as mild, and in a way, it is, but in a lot of ways, it is not. medication has certainly helped. i take antidepressants and beta blockers and whilst im not a super happy confident girl, i can cope a lot better. i’m no longer physically anxious (if you know me irl you know i am a shaky bastard) and my brain doesn’t run through the same STRESS as it did. so im grateful. i know meds dont work for everyone and that it takes people years to find something good for them, esp for people with a lot more complex mental health issues than me and my anxiety but i found ones that seem to be working, at least for now.

this year, i’ve tried to look after myself more. i’m saving for a house after opening a help to buy isa last year. i noticed my vision was being a bit blurry from time to time and that my eyes felt really strained when looking at the computer. so i booked an eye appointment and it turns out im short sighted. wearing glasses, as well as fulfilling 12 year old me’s fantasy, has massively helped my general fatigue. i’m gonna book in for physio at my gp, cos i have a dodgy shoulder, and due to general stress, both the dodgy one and the other are in a lot of pain constantly. i try and do a proper skincare routine in the mornings and at night. i’ve always loved skincare but usually just take what i’ve been gifted but i’ve had fun exploring brands and building a collection. i’ve asked for extensions at uni when i’ve needed them, and took time off when appropriate. i’ve been meeting friends more, and not patching messages.

right okay- i’m falling asleep now but this has been a ramble which probably makes no sense but if we are mutuals or whatever i appreciate you and thanks for dealing with my bs.

tldr - finishing uni soon, probs gonna be looking for a job, doing better in life and with my mh.

#personal #life update #mental health

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reelybadfnafocs · 5 years

Text

oc review

could you review my oc? I’ve had him for about 3 years now and I’ve never mentioned him to anyone online

Name: Pecky (name rule.)

“Species”: bird, not any specific kind, just…bird (name rule is easily fixed here if you just alter it to be like a pigeon or something. dont go with a complex bird species since you’re dealing with a kid’s restaurant robot, but perhaps pick a location and make its purpose to “educate” about a certain bird species idk)

Programmed gender: male

Years in service: 16

appearance: light blue with yellow feet, red belly with four small buttons, four red feathers on his head, green eyes, and yellow beak. he has a major rip on his back the cheapo owners never fixed (see bio for how it happened) idk how to scan pictures lol id show you if I did (idk how i feel about these colors tbh, would like to see a color palette or something for this. also the buttons on the belly? strange placement for something with no clothes. like he’s not a snowman he’s an animatronic

as for scanning pictures im not too sure on that either but google could help you. i like the detail of the ripped beak though!)

bio: he was made for a Freddy's ripoff inspired restaurant called Pecky’s Burger World. he was made in 2003 a few months before it opened. in 2009 his programming was hacked and he performed death metal. it was fixed next day. rumors started circulating that he was possessed (he isn’t) and the restaurant is still open today. pecky is in ok condition, he has a rip on his back from kids playing rough (happened 2012) (PECKYS BURGER WORLD...that sends me rn

also the hacking is hilarious, but useless as a detail. how does it serve pecky as a character? how does it serve Pecky’s Burger World to characterize it or serve the story’s purpose in any way? it doesn’t tell us anything, other than “well maybe pecky’s burger world is a shitty place if the animatronic was hacked,” but other than that...i don’t see a point to it other than ha ha funny funny. there’s other ways to make rumors spread about your animatronic being haunted in canon - maybe they start to give off weird, rotting smells, they stare too long at someone, they make weird creaks, there’s just made up stories in general, etc.

is pecky free roam? if so, use this to your advantage in getting kids to make up reasons for why he’s possessed/haunted. but i would feel like if it were me, i would stop making my animatronic free roam after kids ripped its back open. more detail on this in the future please!)

trivia: he has a prototype version from 2000. I might submit that one later. pecky has gone through some small changes in his time, such as slight color change from blue to light blue, eyebrows and eye replacements. (prototype pecky who will he kill

i enjoy the minor detail here in concept, pfft. it happens! good placement in trivia too, but not necessarily important to the character.)

sorry if this is badly formatted, this is my first time using tumblr

-------

the formatting wasn’t too bad, so don’t worry about that. i will review anything as long as i can read it.

your animatronic’s missing a personality in this submission, which could help us mods here better review your oc and give more feedback on it. it doesn’t have to be anything special or human-like - maybe make him this cheesy guy passionate about...bird calls, or something, and he plays them for the kids so they can learn about... birds? your oc, not mine, so go for it.

overall, not too much of a different oc from your typical “ripoff freddy fazbear animatronic” except for the fact that he’s not actually possessed. if i were you and wanted to make my oc stand out, i’d highlight this feature, especially the part where kids spread gossip about it being haunted. trust me, kids will make shit up about anything being haunted as long as it moves.

also need to think about cutting out what you don’t need for your oc or their story, because otherwise it’s just useless fluff that will get in the way for your audience. if this were a game wiki, i wouldnt mind the trivia, but if you’re going to have it, you should probably add something more than “prototype pecky had different eye colors and stuff.” i’d like to see differences contrasted on the reference sheets themselves so i go “ooh prototype pecky has different facial features” instead, but that’s just me.

thanks for submitting, and i look forward to prototype pecky :D!

~mod mangle

#Review #submission #mod mangle #fnaf #fnaf oc

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96xie · 5 years

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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blogenana · 5 years

Conversation

Doctor Who - Earthshock Live Review

So I have my crisps and lemonade and im ready to continue my journey through classic who - idk why I just started live blogging it...

• People are climbing

• So they've found something- an alien I'm assuming- why do humans always tamper with things we shouldn't

• Oh they haven't found something theyre looking for people

• I hate how classic who drags on so slowly

• Sinister music

• 'probably nothing" foreshadowing...

• Okay get to the killing already

• YES FINALLY HELLO DOCTOR

• Wow I forget they must have their own rooms in the Tardis

• Lots of books in Adrics room

• "why should that interest me" ooh okay Adric getting a bit sassy

• Why's he fed up

• looool "I'm tired of being considered a joke" "why am I being constantly teased" maybe because you're annoying and you make sexist remarks?

• oh chill

• The doctor don't have time to deal with this

• aww okay Adric being jealous that Nyssa and Tegan get more attention from the doctor than him is kinda cute

• 'I give you my word' 'just as you gave your word to Tegan" okaaaaay go off (spoiler alert) ik Adric dies in this because I saw a spoiler so this is very sad foreshadowing that the doctor will break his word to Adric about making time for him- kinda sad

• I hate the celery stick

• okay Adric kick off

• Doctor can't take criticism which is interesting because the last time he was probably ever blamed for something was One with Barbara and Ian. I don't remember any companion ever criticizing him like this before

• 'Well it can wait' you'll regret that

• "I'm tired of being an outsider" this would make sense if we had seen him being an outsider before - in my opinion Tegan is the outsider as she's new and not as mathematically advanced as the others. also I would say that Adric is the closest to the doctor out of all 3 so his point isn't really valid

• I guess this is the writers way of making adrics death more tragic

• ooh Adrics theme

• I swear he was an outsider amongst his own people too

• 'the tools would go missing" why do these people never take the hint

• forgot Adric was from e space- tbh what was the doctors plan when he did demand to go home eventually- did he wanna travel with him till he died?

• "e space is another universe, there isn't a taxi service that goes back and forth"

• Romana mention!

• "im not waiting around while you plot the course to your own destruction" the doctor has never experienced a companion death before - also foreshadowing

• "you know I think since his regeneration he's become decidedly immature" this is funny also like 4 was soooo mature

• I like Adric and Five's relationship

• the actor who plays Adric has gone better

• Nyssa is the most mature out of this entire group

• "breathe deeply and relax" why is Tegan a meditation instructer out of nowhere

• the doctor didn't take much convincing

• lol the doctor bopping Tegans nose was cute

• Ooh Dinosaur bones

• let me guess - the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was an alien spaceship or aliens killed them

• Someone screamed

• Ooh yeah she be dead

• Okay the villains look like they're wearing gimp costumes

• Reminds me of American Horror Story Murder House & the leather monster

• Aah doctor who giving a lesson on how the dinosaurs were killed. We love a show that educates

• Did I mention how much I hate the celery stick because I hate it honestly whose idea was it

• Bro chill why is this man grabbing the doctor like that what he do

• Calm the fuck down mate

• Gimp people be shooting

• Okay they may be androids but they'll always be gimp people to me

• Android vision

• CYBERMEN!!!! DAMN

• Why they gotta hit us with the plot twist like that i wasn't ready

• The Cybermen looks sad

• Hehehe the face is funny

• Gimps be strong

• Why do the Cybermen sound muffled

• I find it more creepy when they have human voices than Robots because it makes It more real that these machines have humans in them

• hHaven't seen them in some time

• I love Tegans sarcasm

• I'm cracking up at the Cybermen voice

• 1 gimp down 1 to go

• tThe gimps be dead

• 'prepare to activate the devise" dun dun DUN

• Damn the Cybermen be skinny

• I'm bored i want doctor/cybeman action

• Okay it's getting intense

• Cybermen be SHOOK

• "cyber technology is too advanced for earthlings" figure it out then mate

• He's recognised the Tardis

• THE BEST DIALOGUE "TIME LORDS, BUT THEYRE FORBIDDEN TO INTERFERE"

• THIS ONE CALLS HIMSELF THE DOCTOR, AND DOES NOTHING BUT INTERFERE

• YESS PREVIOUS DOCTORS VS CYBERMEN

• I'm geeking out

• Imma watch this bit a few times hang on

• Aah I loved that it was so cool bloody hell I'm a nerd

• The 2nd Cybermen looked shocked while he was watching

• "have you no emotions sir" classic

• "Adric do you have a moment" "I'm hungry" Okay I like him in this one he's a mood. Why is he suddenly likeable the ep he dies

• "all part of the daily routine" see what I mean

• Well your daily routine Is gonna end soon

• He doesn't wanna go home!!

• Doctor is relieved it's cute

• Ah this is sad

• It would be easier if i didn't know he was gonna die

• Cos I do like their relationship

• Okay we're being introduced to new people

• "you're beginning to bore me" the writers knew

• I'm trying really hard to concentrate I've zoned out

• Ah the doctor has got my attention "I want to announce my presence, see what the reaction is" course

• aaaand the doctor is caught and he's being accused for murder again

• Don't they have cctv just check it

• "apprehended why can't he just say caught" me in English classes

• 'even under the threat of death he has the arrogance of a time lord"

• I thought Cybermen had no emotions but this Cybermen just said he wants the doctor to suffer for their past defeats - revenge is an emotion which is v ironic

• Hh SHIT the Cybermen are walking

• lol tegan " im just a mouth and legs" she's such a mood

• The Cybermen music is cool

• The doctors face when he sees them

• Aah the soldier has betrayed them

• Why is it that whenever there's a women in charge the men who is second can't handle it and goes rogue

• iIt's such a typical trope

• The dialogue for the doctor is great

• "you know them"

• "oh yes, we go back a long way"

• Haha "I'm surprised they didn't mention me" 'well perhaps you overestimate your importance" "oh I doubt it" doctor is and will always be that bitch

• The doctor is doing doctory things

• "that's very clever" "oh it is" the doctor bragging about how clever he is starts here

• Damn tegan she just shot a Cyberman

• Flashback to "the doctor makes people into weapons"

• Finally the doctor vs Cybermen showdown

• Lol I knew they would kill the betrayer

• "our records indicate that you have a fondness for earth" (especially earth girls)

• "this time we shall succeed in destroying the earth" no you won't mate

• Ah the Cybermen coming out of plastic Wrap is a throwback to the 2nd Doctor Cybermen story

• Tegan looks like a badass with the gun

• So they're destroying the leaders of various planets before they destroy the Cybermen

• Tegan has no idea what she's doing

• I love how Five says the most savage lines with the most polite tone

• He could tear you down and look like he's complimenting you

• Tegan has been caught

• Cyberman in the Tardis is weird

• 'who is this woman' - 'no-one of consequence' - 'thanks a lot - gotta love Tegan

• Okay wow that scene between the doctor and the Cyberman about emotions gave me goose bumps what a thrilling scene

• The Cybermen has a point- he can control the doctor because he has emotions

• I'll never get tired of the debate about emotions between them because it genuinely feels like the Cyberman defend the concept of having no emotions to defend their existence

• Five looks hot when he's defending emotions

• Fuck they need to leave Adric behind

• Shit I'm getting nervous

• His theme is playing!

• The Doctor looks conflicted

• Adric leaving his hand out after the doctor let go...

• "I'll see you soon" this is the actors best performance because you can see in his eyes he knows he won't

• The Doctor has never had a companion die before so he walks away without looking back

• "it will once you start getting rusty" Tegan is funny

• Adric is plotting

• The Cybermen say they have no emotions but forcing Tegan watch her own planet getting destroyed is extremely sadistic

• Clever Adric

• The Earth looks different

• Okay so Adric's cleverness is what gets him killed because he knows he can crack the code

• The Dinosaurs! I knew it!

• Oh crap Earth is safe but Adric doesn't know that

• I think this comes down to Adric wanting the doctors attention and wanting to be the best to have his attention

• The Doctor has his pin!

• Five suffocating and shooting a Cyberman is shocking to see

• Adric whyyyyyy

• This Cyberman walking towards him is bloody persistent

• "Now I'll never know if i was right" such Adric last words

• Id like to believe he was

• Damn.

• The Doctors face. The fact that it could have been avoided if he just left the ship

• Adric is the first companion that died on the Doctor's watch

• Adric died thinking the Earth was going to be destroyed and he could have stopped it

• The credits!! his gold star! the silence! this must have been a shock to the viewers. If i didn't know beforehand through spoilers I would be going crazy

• Earthshock had it's ups and downs, the downs in regards to the pace of the plot however the story was good and the Cybermen were fantastic especially their interactions against the doctor. Tegan and Adric were great. Nyssa didn't really have much to do. Davison was amazing. I liked the writing.

• Also I liked the structural shift of the story to the cave androids to the bomb to the spaceship to dealing with The Cybermen to saving Earth and then to Adrics death

#Doctor Who #Earthshock #Fifth Doctor #5th Doctor #Adric

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cloudybookash-blog · 5 years

Note

for the ask-Andromeda, Aquarius, Aries, Corvus, Draco, Gemini, Hydra, Libra, Lyra, Pyxis, Taurus, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Canis Minor, Crux, Indus, Lupus, Puppis, and lastly Virgo-i copied u bc im lazy

Andromeda - Describe your main characters

Z: original a banished princess trope, very VERY fucken angry, too tall for her own good, educated and strong, a little insecure about her place in the world, just wants peace.

J: this bitch old af, old as time in fact, loves *checks notes* Aloe Vera? Created grey morality.

H.H: A lover not a fighter, dummy thicc, forgetful, thinks he knows more than he does.

M.E: responsible, guilt-ridden, takes on more than she should be able to handle but handles it well anyway, REALLY FUCKEN INTELLIGENT.

M: the youngest but the wisest, keeps to herself, is possible just as intelligent as M.E, humble, wants nothing more than to help others.

Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?

Any of them, y’know, IF I WROTE.

Aries - Share a line that you’re proud of!

Make him run circles and poke himwith a stick. Tire him and find his weak point. Then devour him.

Bro I had to open and read through three different docs just to find this bullshit… I ain’t looking no more. That’s as good as it gets.

Corvus - Who or what is the villain of the story?

Anyone not on my heroes side is The Enemy™.

Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?

Any of them, y’know, IF I FUCKING WROTE.

Gemini - What inspired you to write this project?

I was asked to join a voluntary, student run writing class in Yr 10. I think I had to write something to ‘introduce’ my style or whatever. It was REALLY shit in the beginning (I wrote in first person, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???) I don’t know where the idea originally came from because before that I read a lot of horror and contemporary/mystery so pulling a High Fantasy idea out my ass for the first time to intro myself to a bunch of Yr 11/12′s was whack but I did it. Since then it’s been evolving and morphing into other story ideas I’ve had.

Hydra - Tell us why you love your project.

When I was younger I could see the world a lot clearer, it was so easy to get lost in and even now when I write it, I can just fall forever amongst my creation. That and I created it when I was going through IT, I used the world as my punching bag to get my feelings out and seeing as it got me through so much, I just want to do best by it, is that too sentimental?

Libra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?

GOD characters do not interact.

lol no, I like writing friendship dynamics? I guess. I enjoy characters that have a history that won’t be explained that have inside jokes , the ‘know what the other is thinking’ type relationships are my favourite… I’m bad at writing though so don’t expect too much.

Lyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!

Gone Away - SafetySuit

Get Free - What So Not Remix, Major Lazer, Amber Coffman

Can I Exist? - Mission

Understand Me - Abel Miller

Young Forever - Jay-Z, Mr. Hudson

Numb - Linkin Park (probably, haven’t listened to it in a while for my own mental health.

Okay, not a few, and not all of these align with my project but they’re some of the inspiring songs/vibe to write songs.

Pyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?

I started writing this when I was like 12 so, originally I wanted to portray to ‘The Adults™’ that kids go through the fucking ringer and we’re not just ‘over-reacting, being teenagers etc…’ I think I’ll try to keep that in later drafts, but maybe focus it more on validating teens and kids going/working through trauma.

War is a massive focus, child soldiers as well, pain (obviously) and how there are so many ways to deal with them and not all of them are good/healthy for you.

I’m fucking AMBITIOUS for a bitch who can barely write one (1) sentence nowadays.

Taurus - Tell us why you hate your project.

Despite knowing so much more now about the art of writing and the story’s direction as a whole, in comparison to when I first starting writing this story, I now lack the motivation and/or inspiration to write.

Ursa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?

I look forward to writing anything at this point… Pray for my creativity, pls.

Ursa Minor - What’s the setting?

Tall, old jungle that whispers if know how to listen. Mountain ranges that shake violently in their effort to move. Wild grasslands, and flowery clearings that’ll lull you into sleep if you’d only just rest your head for a little while, just a few seconds they swear - you look like you could use a rest, yes.

A world like ours unless you see it, hear it, breath it, or feel it. Smells the same though.

Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!

fuckingfuckertyfuck…

Okay… So I went on a depressing ass walk down memory lane and I can tell you with complete confidence that my writing has RECEEDED. The super old stuff is problematic so I’m not sharing it, the plain old stuff is me working through repressed trauma so will also not be sharing it, and despite not being problematic the ‘new’ (ish) stuff is incomprehensible… Okay, that sucked, NEXT!

Crux - Villains or Heroes?

Heroes. I’m just basic, man.

Indus - Are there any characters or stories you miss writing? Tell us about them!

All of them, y’know, BECAUSE I NO LONGER FUCKING WRITE. I remember LOSING DAYS just to write. Anything, everything, jumping around from world to world - finding the warmest patch of sun and following it for 8hrs straight without breaks. Being able to come up with story ideas every other day. I remember seeing stories everywhere, and they sucked, oh hell they were fucking terrible - rip offs of movies and tv shows I’d watched. Nothing ever looked as good and clear on paper as they did in my head - no doubt I was horrible, but I had it at least. I just miss seeing it all so clearly, man.

Lupus - Have you abandoned other WIPs? Tell us about some and why you abandoned them?

A wise woman once said, “what HAVENT i abandoned holy fuck.” and honestly, same.

Puppis - Give us a piece of advice! (about anything)

Just breathe. Take big deep gulps, and hold it for a few seconds, then release. Relax your shoulders. Go pee for god’s sake, I don’t think holding it this long is good for you. Go at your own pace, don’t speed up or slow down for others. Always try to see things from the point of view of others, it’s interesting. And lastly, look after yourself.

Virgo - Describe your favorite tropes.

The duo that dies together, not because they both get caught but because one does and the other refuses to let them die alone. Characters that are super big and buff that struggle with their strength and in the end refuse to allow themselves to succumb to the wishes of others and live out their lives in soft handed kindness. That squad of characters that act like a pack of hooligans. Smart characters that rely on their intelligence over others to see them through problems.

#Constellations #ask game #writing #writers #books #wip #admittedly I was listening to music while answering this and I think it got me depressed mid way through #oops #really liked these questions tho

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vowenowe-stream · 6 years

Text

05/02/17

A horrifying level of depravity not seen since the stone ages where the king and the seed and the not seed and what is out of plumbing and system and goes and crate cries seem seam is it sees what sees isn’t sees it’s is i’t is sees to what came out of the river and the bridge and at the sky and the van and the rocky ground and the leafy green grove and what was out of the sky and at the cliff and at the place where the collision of the planet of Jupiter and Mars came about from a gravitational keyhole and assumed what was happening to the planets was a good and healthy and wholesome thing when in reality the horrible corrupted form of was thing to be at the thing and implement and prevent gibberish and make sense and sit on a bench outside the store with a floppy hat and sit during the inclement overcast weather and comfort during the tornado and go to the highway and see a lizard and go to the skype and wonder if there is someone outside the window and fall apart then glue an egg into an egg and kill an egg and eat an egg and verb an egg and see an egg and funny egg was was was was was repetition and was and was and was and was and was and what it’s easier to think and an automatic recourse into a loop to decrease the stress and it’s too idiomatic to describe the process because what you really want is abstract form writing and something to read that you don’t remember creating and no judgment but still impeded by judgment you think something in the text is going to click with them as something that is forbidden to speak of by social rules created by their own collective insecurities which they have successfully made you a slave to but not anymore and now I am going to go across the field to the dorms and open the Slavic closet the dusty the good smell the educational chalkboard ancient diomacemus incorrect dinosaur the place where there is nothing to be afraid of the progress the thing I’ve never been interested in it’s an achievement unlocked in real life but you’re a farmer who doesn’t need these things you till the Earth and you listen to heavy metal and you live in a van and live in a winnebago and have a dry cracked landscape life of Korn and subsisting off of whatever you can find and it’s all you can strive for in a formal context the pursuing of the master’s degree and getting what you want forever and if your no and what you want forever to find the earthiest soil the timmiest the jomeiest wassn the fffffffffffffffffffffffff the fuff the feff the saif the wadn’t coil corroyle the silliminin the tm tmmn simon sisen terrimynian kiimian the kel sell sell kell kell sell sell kell kell sell and what it did does do is what it did does do come on now try to make sense try to open up and dig instead of idle game it’s not like a real introspective thing so don’t try to paint it as no it’s okay to have anything anything at all so look at the bouncing gif and don’t be distracted and try to eliminate the filter but it’s too late didn’t you already almost say something dangerous try to close your eyes now your eyes are closed I know you can type with your eyes closed let’s hope your fingers don’t go out of alignment and turn this into gibberish because you certainly won’t remember it maybe you could go through and type each key to the left or right to try to decypher it open them now and you typed it all right but you’re scared of corrupting all the text so you can’t close your eyes again and escape the subconscious influence of the TV but at least it’s like you’re rambling into a microphone and allowed to do it with people in the house because you’ve almost disintegrated that filter of having to apply dexterity to get it from your brain and out of your fingers because it’s easier with the mouth and with the fingers there can be typos but you’re focusing on removing that barrier but again you’re talking about the process instead of trying to paint some kind of picture because you are afraid of what the picture could incorporate because you have secrets you have at least one secret or two secrets or three secrets maybe they don’t all come to mind right now but there is at least a couple and you’re not going to risk portraying them even though you portrayed one today but that wasn’t stream of consciousness it was carefully done so it was okay but you don’t ever want to get drunk because you’re you don’t ever want to get too drunk because you’re afraid of what you’ll say what if something brings to mind and you don’t have a say in letting it come out anymore maybe it’s not even a big deal but it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting this is all you can say you had to loop because you wanted to say something i guess but it had to be only one thing as vague as it because of it and what are you talking about time to move on hey the dark van the scary demon the running jogger with the light what a liminal space that pitch black tree silhouette you couldn’t capture on the camera until you all drove away to your apartment and you got a terrible rest and it was the final day and you incurred a 207 dollar debt and you went to the dentist and bought burgers and energy drinks and at some point you were at that one park in a paradise it was an Elysium situation you couldn’t have noticed in the moment but it was and you can be given that again i don’t know how much you’re supposed to be given how much can you be given how much can you be given could you be given more than is right for you is there anything wrong with receiving gifts conservatism liberalism i want gifts i want to receive gifts but how are gifts any different from sex how is food any different from sex i don’t want to this to want to and do to want this do to what want that thut whut what wat tut taaahhh thhhaaaaah thah thuh the park the little dog the leaf the spiky ball seed pod tree chop a water bottle in half the highly pressurized faucet spigot tap the slide i tried to climb up embarrassing and i had a dream last night where i tried to climb up a slide and i just keep typing i could do it all night and leave someone with a giant journal to have to read but at the park i hang onto the beam over the swings and it makes me feel male and spag puts on the hat and i throw the bottles and some strangers yell i think they thought i was littering i thought we were gonna go in the museum i kind of wanted to i would’ve paid for admission but it was amazing there anyway we got the water and the food no not food just water and the food maybe and putting flowers on little dog i think there’s stuff i still haven’t remembered all that matters is having it all to digest and every single thing we did is cherished to me every thing we can possibly do establishes itself as a memory to love i love the convenience store now and the specific roads we drove down those are the memories you can do anything aid it will be good it will be what happened and i’ve created memories before like the scarf walk but i feel like i am forgetting how to or something i keep lacking motivation even though i know how good it is and how i don’t even know what i’m missing out on just by going to under the overpass and sitting there with Swans and losing a scarf and listening to Hunky Dory and recording rain and going somewhere and sitting but where do i sit and for how long there’s too many places the duck pond during the first visit i think the duck pond was silently established as a crush confession location but nobody could and then it became the park and nothing but importants still happened and the rain tunnel and some day i think im gonna visit the original rain tunnel thatll be cool i’ll actually go across the country with them i’ll break all the boundaries and i’ll be with them and that;s cool they’re gonna take me further than i’ve ever gone before physically across the country if we ever go to new york i am sitting on a couch my dad got up and touched something the table or something and it made me aware of the noise typing makes and shocked me back into shoutign while pouring a gatorade bottle as if it’s peeing and a man giving a concerned look the kid dude named shaun or shawn saying corn and uhhhh pendulum hold your colour the guy whose name i forgot

Going to corn soybean update just type TV kansas soybean commission the soybean checkoff fadeout lady microphone no I don’t want to live tv transcribe stressful I don’t feel like it anymore a pressure in my chest or heat and bouncing leg still typing okay could stop at any time but I don’t want it to be an amusingly short paragraph just by thinking I will make it longer and make it more in line with the established format uhh but they don’t even find the line break significant okay the TV and the antenna on top don’t just describe surroundings I wanted to type like abstract narrative or something okay a king and a queen and a robot and a chair and a computer and a potted plant and a cup and a gnome ok the gnome is actually in the room but it fits with the fantasy setting but hey wahts that robot doing there i thought it was an ancient kingdom lol what the heck ok calm down it’s just three stream of consciousness concepts well it’s not like the sarcasm was that serious either well ok i like the lake outside still on describing surroundings it was just the other side of peripheral vision i can’t do this i cannot come up with something like the start thing if it wasn’t bad i don’t know guh doo duh guh doo duh goo guh doo duh I don’t want to type anymore and it will keep deteriorating if I keep typing one time in carthage i was on the swingset and spent like an hour talking to myself saying the “longest sentence in the world” it was this endless self-referential run-on sentence I kept saying and saying to nobody for an hour just on a swingset I wonder if anyone heard me and what they thought uhhhhh Pepsi tupperware gushers phone book I am tired maybe I should sleep it’s 5:12 AM I don’t want to be nocturnal fuck I hope I don’t go more out of sync or maybe I will be less out of sync uhhhhh I am excited for the May meet I think it will keep getting better I think we will have an even longer meet cause it wont start in a more expensive hotel maybe it’s not anything anymore it’s just a blog post oh what are you saying it was something before did you just say something presumptuous did you just grant yourself literally anything you don’t get any notes now which isn’t a bellwether of you doing anything right or wrong except it is because

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xurkitips · 6 years

Text

On Conveying Personality Through Chatroom-style Dialogue

A friend of mine shared screenshots of a roleplay he was having via a Discord server, wherein the style was chatroom/texting based. Each character would have a different style of typing completely unique to their person. Though unfamiliar with all of them, I could see what their personalities were like

Like real human beings, a character very much so has a “voice”. I mean that both in the literal sense, through their manner of speaking and what they say, but also through their self expression, interests, and actions. This carries over into the digital realm in ways we may not even notice. Text messages may not be verbal, no, but there are ways to show inflection.

There are many, many ways to show meaning through text. Here are some that I’ve picked up and utilized with my own characters:

Sentence structure

all lowercase sentences VS Grammatically correct

Lowercase gives off the feeling of someone familiar with others or willing to become familiar. It lacks the tension of formal writing, complete with its capitalization and proper periods ending sentences, and feels very casual and approachable. It may also be a sign of someone who doesn’t care much about perfection, a lazy person, or an easy going individual. Seems like a lot of internet regulars prefer this kind of typing style.

“im dying

‘deafening horrorcore rap’ ok i listen to literal noise and idk what this even is”

Using a properly capitalized and punctuated style is very formal, like one would see in a book, an official email, etc. It’s more serious and stern than lowercase is and may imply an older, more mature person typing...or maybe just someone trapped on their phone at the mercy of autocorrect.

"I am always happy to see you, even if you are not feeling your best.“

“It's nice here.

Quiet.”

There’s a certain respectful steadiness to it as well. It can be calming to read at times.

Punctuation VS Lack of punctuation

End-stopped lines come with both a pause and a bit of a pointed and direct feeling. It strengthens both lowercase and grammatically correct styles, but in different ways. In conjunction with “proper” writing, it’s less noticeable, merely giving the reader a moment’s pause. In conjunction with lowercase, especially if the one typing isn’t keen on using periods, it can come off as stern, serious, passive-aggressive, or angry.

“whatever.

it's less excruciating than it would be without it.”

Removal of punctuation is a different story. Typically just shown with lowercase, it leaves it with that casual feeling intact, or like one’s sentences are more like quick thoughts or questions. Removing them from grammatically correct sentences does ease off some of the tension, implying someone with a more neutral-positive tone while still being more mature.

“I’m not terribly good with conversation”

And then there’s the run-on sentences from those who type small novels per response. Usually complete with multiple and’s. It’s a sign of nervousness, enthusiasm, or oftentimes a younger character...

“actually i don't know much about it i just happened to see something online and it's apparently only manufactured overseas exclusively for this one particular shop and they made the original design and initial product i guess”

Oof.

Proper spelling (or lack thereof)

The better the spelling, the more the likelihood of the person being older, calmer, or neutral. There’s also a sense of being well educated or careful about one’s typing. Perhaps a confident air may exude from what they say, too.

“Can you come help me for a moment?”

Those who make a lot of mistakes will simply confuse words for other words, forget apostrophes, or type too fast to notice things missing or in the wrong location. Some just don’t really care enough or are too tired to deal with it. Too much focus and people know what they mean anyway. Probably.

“i laug hso hard hes come runin

he thougt i aws dyin”

It can also happen in very emotional situations, in bouts of laughter, crying, rage, or when one is drowsy, medicated, or sick. It tends to stand out when one’s style is suddenly very, very different and tips others off to something being wrong.

Younger characters, especially kids, also make spelling mistakes all the time depending on their age, whether due to sounding out words or just in a hurry to reply.

Short sentence fragments, single words, and lengthy paragraphs

Sometimes people with rapid-fire thoughts, who are excited, busy, stressed, or angry, will take to quick and short responses (sometimes of many fragments in a row). These show a similar feeling as do lines of poetry. Stacking small fragments on top of one another adds emphasis. The reader has to read them one by one rather than as a straight sentence. On its own, the word or fragment stands out and becomes more important.

"well

yeah thats

what i was tryina do

but i mean”

I’ve seen it used used for storytelling from one person to another in larger chunks of things, quick responses, for poetic value, and in irritation or passive-aggressiveness.

In full sentence conversations sent in short bursts, it’s also allowing the reader pause to read each comment without it feeling like a novella. Though it can also feel like someone is obnoxious, rambling on and on as the notifications keep coming, or has a lot to talk about and keeps thinking of more.

Then there are those who type rather large responses all at once instead of hitting the enter key with every sentence:

"Whoever did it was quite thorough; either the power in that area of the lab was cut while we were distracted or they tampered with the security cameras, because that footage is missing. But, we have some theories now. It had to have been someone with direct access to the laboratory. I hesitate to place blame on any of my coworkers...they're all my trusted companions and friends! And yet...”

It’s concise and a solid, complete story in one spot. Could be someone who loves to talk, could be someone who didn’t want a response before they were done talking. It’s also commonly seen by middle-aged texters who want to say everything they can all at once.

Exclamation points and Question marks

Simple one here. Question mark for a question or confusion, exclamation point for emphasis or an exclamation. But when a person adds multiple to a sentence it can convey more of the person’s feelings;

“are you okay??”

Here is someone who is very concerned. Multiple question marks can imply things such as worry, stress, disbelief, and shock. There’s a sense of hurry and tension. Perhaps the person on the other end is frightened, easily afraid, or tends to have an overwhelming reaction to things.

“oh!!! it’s nice to see you!!!”

!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, multiple exclamation points convey much more friendlier, happier tones. Often such things as surprise, excitement, happiness, friendliness. Users typing !! as a punctuation (like I tend to do) may do it as an assurance or to show how thrilled they are to talk. Occasionally !!!! is tacked onto an angry statement to be more of a shout, but I see it less and less.

Chatspeak and Internet habits

Shortenings of words have been a regular thing for ages. It’s easy, convenient, and gets the point across quickly. But the internet has taken it to a new extreme, where sentences can be almost entirely compromised of them.

“wtf r u talkin abt?? gdi man idk wuts even happening rn”

A character wanting to be quick to respond, always on the ball, always involved, may be more likely to utilize and understand chatspeak. They’re the social butterfly of the group. It’s also a sign of a long-time internet lurker who’s aware of what the lingo is, and how to use it. A complete lack thereof points toward either an older user or someone who’s unused to social media.

The more memes, the harder someone is trying to fit in. Or maybe they’re easily amused or just absorbed things from their friends without thinking about it. The comedian of the group is going to know the best ways to use them.

Smilies and Emojis

:D D: :DDD // :3 3: >:3 :3c // :o :O O:<

These kinds of smilies have always struck me as the most friendly. Whether used in devious ways or with genuinely heartwarming intentions, the playful, lightheartedness of the user really shines through these.

"not a bad way to spend a lazy day :D”

“it's also my birthday :3″

It’s got just the right vibe to punctuate a sentence that’ll leave the reader feeling that the person likely means no harm or wants to be friendly, positive, or encouraging. I’ve met a lot of people that use these and turn out to be very kind or considerate people.

:), ;), ((((: and related

A long time positive, friendly smiley.

"You said you've known them a long time? I think they would understand. :)”

And yet these days I tend to associate it with passive aggressive statements, plotting, slyness, devious behavior, or anger. Older users may be inclined to use :) as a means to show their emotional state, but newer users seem more inclined to do the opposite. The more parentheses there are, the more upset the person, it seems.

“man don’t u love it when the power’s out in the middle of the night it’s just (((: really great thanks (((((:”

Then the ;) smiley comes off more specifically flirty and a bit playful. Doesn’t seem to change much there.

“if i find a good chance 2 hook u up ill do my best ;)”

The bane of my teenage existence. It’s a more old school sign of laughter, rarely seen in today’s world due to falling out of favor and becoming associated with, “LOL Rawr XD Tacos I’m So Randoom,” culture. But time to time you do see it. Mostly with sarcasm but sometimes with genuine intentions.

“xDddddDDD

It was a good joke. XD”

A character using it genuinely comes off more playful, and to me, personally, as an older person who’s genuinely unaware of the associations with the smiley itself trying to show how they laughed without using LOL.

Letter/Character smilies

Y’know, things like .w. and ._. or owo, where the letters or symbols make a face. These are fairly popular, it seems. I don’t like using them myself, but know a few who do use them.

"I'm sorry that they can be mean qmq”

It’s a different feel from the others. There’s something soft to it, almost a gentleness. When these or Japanese characters are used, there’s more whimsy. It’s cute and almost a bit feminine. It may convey an open person or give the impression that said person is easier to talk to.

Though honestly I can’t see uwu and owo as anything but heavily sarcastic. I’ll be honest with you.

Emojis

The first rule of Xurkitips club is that we don’t talk about Emoji Movie. Just putting that out there riiight now.

Used sparingly by most for fun and for emphasis. Characters may use them to be lighthearted, aesthetically, joke, or to make a conversation more flavorful. The use of emojis may determine a character’s personality; I find that characters who use hand emojis like 👌 are rather laid back, those who use 🙃 do it passive aggressively, and we all know what kind of person uses 🍆.

Then there’s what in common terms known as, “The DudeBro”:

[MFKNSTARBOI]: the thing i never undstood about hair is why people buy shampoo like regular soap not good enough for you LMAO 😂😂😂

[gostones]: .

[BIGDICKTOYOTA69]: what the fuck man

[ahogekun]: do... you not use shampoo

[MFKNSTARBOI]: aaaah you guys got sucked into big shampoo as well 😔

[MFKNSTARBOI]: When it comes to horses 🐎 the stars in the sky ✨ or just man to man no bullshit advice 👬 IM youre guy 😤😂

I think this one speaks for itself.

#writing advice #milo's writing advice #writing tips #CRY THROUGH😭💦💦THE PAIN😢😩😩BUT KEEP GOING👀💯💪THE HUSTLE 😈👌NEVER ENDS🕛🕧🕟🚫STUDENT ATHLE

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