#em causes an existential crisis

[kombuuuu]

gwen romantic hcs or scenario please? 🥺🤲

Spidery Romance.

Gwen Stacy x Fem!Reader

another bunch of headcanons (and snippets, ur favs) with my favourite girl 🤍

GWENNBBBBB MMMWMAH HHHNG WEBEWEBWEEEHHHH

Gwen: Blue

You: Pink

Dad Stacy: Black

A cat..: Purple

mom friend this, mom friend that

how about just mommy?

is a HUGEE comfort roll in the realtionship

will do little things for you that you wouldn’t even realise

like keeping random containers because she knows you like them

jars 🫙 🤍‼️

she loves taking care of you, loves being who you go to for things

it makes her feel needed, which we know she struggles with

so she loves a partner who’s more co-dependent, like she is

“Baby?”

“Help.”

“Honey, what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Open it, please“ :(

“Oh, you sweet thing… What are you going to do with an empty pickle jar.”

“You’ve eaten all the pickles?”

“I’m… going to grow an ecosystem.”

ABSOLUTELY steals shit for you

she’s not rich, seeing as she doesn’t exacccctly live in her own universe

hey, star crossed lovers are multiversel..

so she steals

just nicks things from the mall she thinks you’ll like

little trinkets or anything small and shiny she can find

also cat figures

small, cute cats. she loves anything about them and will go out of her way to take em for you

(you think she just wants to deny the fact she loves the cats. or stealing)

your OWN little klepto cat

(you both love that game)

“Hey, Sweets.”

“Oh-! You’re home!”

“And I brought a cat.”

*gasp* “What breed !!”

“No clue, but look it’s tail moves.”

Will take you out to movie dates any time she can.

never really knew how to treat a lady so she takes notes from stupid eighties shows

will throw rocks at your window

or climb up the tree next to your house and break in even though she could just go thru the front door.

buys (steals) chocolates in heart shapes and roses to decorate your bed

it’s not even valentines she just wants too

don’t forget the candles and scented bath salts with a whole ass spa set up in your bathroom

“Baby? Wh—“

“[Name]! I missed you.”

“I missed you too, babe.”

“What are the flowers for?”

“Our anniversary’s not ‘til September.”

“Beautiful, we don’ need a reason. Just wanna appreciate you.”

smile and giggle like a little bitch? of course you will

Will eventually tell you about her spider woman endeavours

she’s guilty of hiding it from you

when you trust her so much

slipping out of your shared bed at night to go patrol feels

dirty.

She finally caved to her subconscious and spills it

you don’t freak out on her but she can tell you’re stressed

she tries to comfort you even when you have to opportunity to ruin her life

you could end it between the two of u right then and she’d forgive you

but not herself

“I’m spider-woman.”

“What?”

“The hero, [Name]. Well, vigilante I guess—“

“What the hell.”

“Baby, please. I know I should’ve told you sooner—“

“Do you know how much danger you’re in? Are you crazy? What happens if you get hurt and I’m not here? Fighting crime like that. Fighting villains.”

“I know, sweet girl, I know.”

she comforts you through it while you basically have an existential crisis in her name

you’re more scared she’s going to get hurt

or worse

than you are betrayed,

you can get why she kept this a secret

it takes you a couple week to hone down the worrying

gwen is hella patient with you 🫶

“I don’t like this. You’re putting yourself in harms way, and it’s careless,”

Guilty stare

“,But i’m not gonna stop you.”

“Thank you, [Name].”

“Please don’t die on me.”

“I won’t, baby.”

and when your finally calm you can kind of see the appeal in it

she convinces you to let her swing you around the city

and despite you both knowing you’re probably gonna pass the fuck out

you agree cause it’s cute

“Gwen.”

“Yeah baby?”

“I think—, maybe you don’t understand what I mean by ‘I don’t like heights’.”

“Wh— Oh.”

“What d’yu mean ‘Oh.’?!! You only just realised??”

“I come up here so often, it’s like a second thought!”

“It’s the fucking Empire state!”

“Ehh…”

She’ll take you nice places around brooklyn

mostly high up

to let you see the view

and to finally see you in it

she draws you any chance she gets

especially when she takes you to those places

shes been to em so often that she’s got muscle memory for the line to every building, but now she gets to trace the contour of your face around it too

will web you to the building if you ask

just so you won’t fall

“You know there’s not a single universe where I wouldn’t catch you, right.”

“There’s a first for everything,”

She snorts “Sugar—“

“I love you, Gwen. And trust you with my life. I do not, however trust wind.”

“Understandable, love you too.”

When you meet her dad he’s a little skeptical at first

only because you’re so nervous and he’s taught to be suspicious as a cop

but eventually he likes you, and you him

your both like old pals and it confuses gwen

he takes on a very fatherly position in your life

one you missed out on

gwen is ecstatic

the two people she loves the most in the world like each other

the stars aligned for her

she tells you about her struggles with him and is glad it doesn’t affect either of your relationships

“Do you treat my daughter well?”

“Dad, please.”

“Gwen, it’s okay. I’d like to think I am, sir.”

“Cause if you hurt my little girl, everything you do to her will feel a lot worse for you.”

“Dad!”

“I would never hurt your daughter Mr.Stacy, I love her. It’d be stupid of me to let her go.”

He smiled and clapped your back

*groan* “Why.”

she likes to keep you comfy

kinda has a thing for the housewife vibe

so she’s willing to do a lot for you

she’ll notice how empty it is in your house when she’s not there

it’s quiet and lonely

so totally for you (and not also her)

she’ll get you a cat

a small black american bobtail

she had found him while on patrol

saw a box left littered at the park and decided to pick it up

closer she got, more ‘mews’ she heard.

when she saw a short, stumpy looking kitten in the box

her heart melted

so obviously she took it

“For [Name].”

‘mew :3’

“Co-parenting practice.”

‘mmrp’

“God damn it.”

loves the cat with her whole heart

and so do you

you name it Peter

he’s adopted but he doesn’t need to know that

when he does something bad you threaten (emptily) to put him in back out in the street

“Go get a box, Peter. I’m gonna make your momma put you back where she found you.”

“He can’t understand you, baby.”

“Yes he can, look at how he’s looking at me!”

“See his face!? He’s so mocking me!”

:3

“Sure, baby.”

—

EEE 🤭🤭🤭

[moonetta]

List of similarities I’ve noticed between Yugioh Zexal and Inazuma Eleven!

Aliens are antagonists

Younger sister in a coma

Most villains are being manipulated by a bigger bad. The big bad. The final boss.

Mc is a goofy goober sunshine. Everyone comes around to their positivity at some point

Need I Say More (I was so convinced they both said something about eyes but I think I made that up)

Main character basically has their own harem, everyone loves em (lovable scamp)

If you play soccer/duel with someone that makes u friends even if they are evil. The magic of football/yugioh redeemed them 🩷 This power can also turn them evil. This also works if your friends turn evil, turn them into friends again with soccer/yugioh.

"Dont use yugioh/soccer for evil you monster!!" (This may send the mc into an existential crisis, why is their beloved being used for evil)

"Hey sometime we should do this (yugioh/soccer) just for fun 😉 since you’re not a villain serving an evil cause now"

Beating up robots to get into super secret organisation place (apparently easy to get into once you get past the robots)

Crazy strong opponent scores a goal or summons powerful monster in first minute, cut to our main characters going “no way” 😦😦

Characters in the dub called Tori, Byron, and Hartland surname

[pastafossa]

A Brief Existential Crisis (Matt Murdock x f!Reader; Fic)

Because this fluffy idea wouldn’t let me go so now you all get a drabble. Set in TRT!Verse but not required reading. SFW. Minor spoilers for ep 8 of She Hulk!

"She didn't know who I was," Matt said mournfully, staring blindly up at you.

"I'm sorry," you said, radiating as much sympathy as you could while also still kinda distracted by the Los Angeles weather report on the hotel tv. How was 68 degrees considered freezing?

"No one else recognized me either," he mumbled, his chest heaving on a great sigh. "All night. One guy even called me a gold ninja devil."

"Ridiculous," you agreed as he slowly edged his head further into your lap. You forced down your grin, which was especially difficult when his expression was so pitiful, not unlike that of a kitten caught in the rain. "Yes? What is it, beloved husband of mine?"

"You know what I want." He made a sad little noise, arching further into your lap until his head bumped your opposite hand where you'd settled it on your thigh. "Please, sweetheart. I need the dopamine after everything that happened."

You snorted and gave in, running your fingers fondly through his dark hair. You even made sure to scratch with your nails just for the way it made him purr and melt into your lap, his eyes rolling back as his mouth fell slack.

Unfortunately, this particular existential crisis was too great to be struck low but something so minor as your fingers in his hair.

"Is it... the suit?" he mumbled, the words just a little slurred. "Not... mm, mm.... recognizable?"

Honestly, considering the color, he's now recognizable from space.

It was just a good thing he was handsome enough to pull it off.

"You're always recognizable as the only Devil-based hero with any real charm," you said confidently, keeping your thoughts to yourself. You shifted your fingers to his temple, scratching at a new spot. You were rewarded with a blatant moan, Matt's toes curling in his socks. "Trust me. It's not you. It's them. LA is, uh... just... more focused on... its own thing. You know how it is. So fuck em. You're still my favorite even if they don't know you."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. And think about it this way. You might be less known, but that just means you're like, uh..."

"...I'm small-time," he sighed gloomily. "Just admit it."

"Hang on, I've got a comparison coming." You rolled your head up, narrowing your eyes at the ceiling in thought as Matt rolled over to burrow in against your abdomen with an exaggerated groan of sorrow. But there was no hiding his grin, not once you could feel it. "Don't suffocate yourself just yet."

He mumbled something unintelligible, and presumably tragic and martyr-y.

It took you a minute, but then you nodded. "Ok, I've got it."

He grunted, and tipped his head a little in prompting until you started dragging your fingers through his hair again, this time at the back of his head where the Devil mask always made him sore. The, "Mm?" he let out in response was glutted and thick, like the slurred purr of a cat on its back in a puddle of sunshine.

"You are basically one of those 'best kept secrets of the city' things," you said lightly. "All the tourists flock to the flashy stuff, restaurants that are shiny and get all the attention. But the locals know where the good stuff is, the quality stuff, and they know the best burgers always come from that one mom and pop hole in the wall. They don't tell the non-locals, cause someone might steal the recipe or buy it out. That's what you are. You're that burger."

There was a pause, and then he tipped his face up so you could see his warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "That was very sweet."

"Thank you."

"It's also horseshit."

You groaned, rolling your head back as he laughed and dropped his head back onto your lap. "Come on, it was a good comparison!"

"No, no, there's no helping it. I just have to grieve my murdered ego," he sighed, blinking sadly up at you. Or your chin, really, but it was close enough. "There is one thing that might help me feel better, though, and distract me from my wounded pride."

"What's that?"

He hummed, licking his lips as he rolled onto his side, his head still on your lap, close enough for him to nuzzle at your abdomen. "I could eat."

Your brow furrowed. "We literally ate an hour ago. We went through In-N-Out. You were not impressed, you blasphemer."

He hummed, before leaning in and pointedly nipping the waistband of your sweats.

Oh.

"I'm hungry, sweetheart," he murmured, tipping his head down towards your lap as he drew in a slow inhale. "So hungry and empty where all my pride used to be. Can't I just have a little to help fill that void?"

"Oh my god, Matt," you choked out, two seconds away from losing it as he rolled upright to grab your legs and drag you down the bed until you were flat on your back.

"You're the one that chose food for your metaphor," he said with a grin, nudging your legs apart. "I'm just following my wife’s example."

"Oh alright, I suppose I could be charitable just this once. You did get spanked by a Hulk today, after all."

"She caught me. She didn't-"

"Spanked," you repeated gleefully, making him snort. "Want me to kiss the print on your ass and make it better?"

"At least let me eat dinner first."

"Fine. But I expect it as my tip at the end."

"Deal."

[radioisntdead]

Hihihi

I read the request you wrote for lucifer, and it made me so happy!!!!

And, I do have one more request, could you maybe generally write for the hazbin group finding out the readers cause of death being from a roller coaster, and them not knowing who they are? (Could it maybe be a song fic using the ballad of Jane doe?)

Or

A platonic angel dust fic with the reader talking(singing) about their previous family and / or life? Along with them breaking down at the end, with a small bit of comfort from angel dust? (Dead mom from beetle juice)

You can choose either or, it doesn't really matter to me :)

With love,

-Xin 💙

Good evening my dear! So glad to have you sending in another request,

I AM A MAJOR RIDE THE CYCLONE FAN, I FORCED MY BEST FRIEND TO WATCH IT WITH ME AND GOT EM' HOOKED ON IT, I WATCHED IT AS I WROTE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CRIED IT IS A GREAT MUSICAL, I GREATLY RECOMMEND IT, IT'S ALLEGEDLY ON YOUTUBE

Reader much like Jane Doe is going to be a doll, I like to call this, reader having a lil existential crisis during a trust exercise turned life stories sharing time.

Also I'll tag you like I did last time! @fuck-this-shit-xin

The fallen saint

People who live in the hazbin hotel x gn reader

Warnings!

Death, decapitation, dolls, I am still terrified of dolls why did I add them? I don't know, accidentally implied underage drinking but the reader isn't underage, reader and Angel are very loosely implied to be besties because yes

Ballad of Jane doe

You came to the hotel confused and scared, you found a flyer that advertised and you thought that it'd be better then the chaos in the other parts of hell.

You didn't remember much about your life, just that you died from a rollercoaster accident with your friends? Classmates? Family? You didn't remember,

The last thing you remember was someone clutching your hand saying something that was muffled over the screams before a sharp piece of metal sliced your throat and you saw the sky.

Sometimes you get glimpses of life before, school uniforms, arcades, lights, someone saying a muffled name, holding you, smiling at you.

Who were they? A friend? Family?

You wish you knew.

Charlie was the most sympathetic to your situation, embracing you with open arms into the hotel, imagine not knowing who you were? Well you didn't have to imagine.

You were practically a clean slate, perfect for redemption no matter what you did in the past, because you weren't that person anymore.

Charlie had organized a trust exercise that had pinwheeled into mild drunken shenanigans venting about life and how they lived before they died, Husk had revealed that he apparently had a child somewhere that caused a small commotion of "YOU HAD A WHAT-" and that turned into Sir Pentious saying he missed his son,

Niffty brought up some guy she was obsessed with while alive that may or may not have died it wasn't clear, Vaggie revealed small, very small parts about her life in heaven and being an exorcist, Angel dust brought up his family that was in hell and his twin sister Molly who was the only one to go above, and even Alastor was in the conversation talking about his mother and what a wonderful mother she was.

And then it came to you, cradling a alcoholic beverage.

"I wish I knew what my life was like, like What did I do end up down here? I mean I know I died because of a rollercoaster but I don't think that was a sin." You said your fingers circling your glass, Angel dust patting your shoulder in support.

"I'm sure it wasn't anything that bad"

"You probably set orphanages on fire, I can see you doing that" Niffty chimed in staring into your soul

"Niffty what the hell."

You took a breath as music began to play, one of the things you don't expect in death is that everything becomes a musical.

"Some might say we're release, pushing daisies, deceased,"

You place the glass you were holding onto the table in front of you before standing up from the couch you wrapped your arms around yourself.

"But we all know the worms must be fed,"

"And They're singing." Husk muttered taking a swig of his drink as he was told to hush.

"There's just one lingering fear, Oh my soul, is it here?"

It was a silly question but was it? Most Hellborn supposedly didn't have souls but they were still alive in someway, was it the same case with you? Is that why you couldn't remember? Was your soul back on earth where you perished?

You let one of your hands drift up to your neck, feeling the thread stitching that kept your head attached to your neck, it was slightly lighter then the rest of your body, reminiscent of a dolls.

"Or is it rotting somewhere with my head?"

The people you mostly considered friends [Alastor was on a thin line of friend or weird smiley guy that lived in the hotel] watched you pace around.

"Oh my soul"

Who were you?

"Oh my soul"

What did you do? What didn't you do?

''Oh my soul''

What regrets did you have? Did you live life to the fullest? Who did you love, who did you cherish? Did you have friends? Family? Who were they?

"Oh my soul''

"Ooh...Ooh...Ahh...Ahh... ah''

You missed people you didn't even remember,

Were you loved? Hated?

Did someone miss you? Who did you die with? What did you do to end up here? Did you kill someone? Did you set an orphanage on fire like Niffty suggested?

The people that appeared in your dreams, who's faces were blurred, that would disappear when you tried to reach out to them, were they real or were they just from your dreaming state?

"Oh no soul, and no name"

Everyone had come up with their own nickname for you, typically something related to dolls like doll, Dollface, Dolly, Raggedy Ann, Raggedy Andy or Chucky etc

That last one was from Husk.

you didn't mind it but you desperately wanted to know what your name was, did you get to choose it? Or was it given to you? Did you like it? Did you want to change it? Did you go by a nickname instead? Was it long? Was it short? Was it fancy or simple? Were you named after someone? Oh how you desperately wished to know.

"And no story, what a shame.."

Was your life exciting? Dull? Did you wish for something more?

"Cruel existence was only a sham?"

Dying in a rollercoaster accident was odd, insane and tragic, you showed up in hell with a uniform, were you a student? Did you attend some weird uniform requiring college? You died with others you knew them didn't you? Did you die with strangers or did you die with people you knew?

Tears swelled in your glassy, shiny doll-like eyes

"Oh Saint Peter, let me in!"

Charlie and Vaggie shared a look, recalling the whole welcome to heaven thing and him straight up moaning in song.

"You must know where I've been, Won't you tell me at last who I am?"

You could bare it, being in hell, it was horrible because it was hell but everyone else knew who they were, somewhat, they had a name that they chose or got, they had some semblemblance of an identity,

So why didn't you?

"Who I am,"

It wasn't fair, it really wasn't

"Who I am"

Everyone in the room knew who they were, they remembered their lives or in Charlie's case her life so far.

"Who I am"

You didn't ask for much, you helped out at the hotel, you gleefully participated in the exercises, you were a decent person, at least now you were if you weren't before.

"Who I am"

Would you get your memories back if you went to heaven?

"Ooh...Ooh...Ahh...Ahh... ah"

Or would you completely lose your memories again, would you have to start all over again?

You didn't want to forget the folks in the hazbin hotel, they were your friends right?

Right?

It'd be one thing if you lost your memories here but it'd be just cruel if you lost them again, you didn't want to lose them again you desperately clung to the glimpses you got of the past, you needed to keep the memories of the present.

"And from the ground, beneath my feet, I hear the anguish of the street"

You glanced outside the window, people were doing whatever they did, someone was actively getting stabbed they probably remembered who they were.

"A choir never complete"

Something flashed in your head

You died in a choir, you were apart of a choir,

You were apart of something, you sung with them, were you all close? Were you like family?

Where were they? Would they recognize you if they saw you now?

Would they? Would you recognize them? Would all your memories come rushing back in an instant like in the movies?

"And like an old forgotten tune, a song that no one knows..."

A appeared in your arms, a doll that had been gifted to you by Angel dust for a day they had dubbed your birthday, they threw you a party and everything, confetti, balloons, cake, you got a few gifts that you treasured, from Charlie, sir Pentious, hell even Alastor gave you a weird doodle of you that laid with the other gifts.

You held it close to you.

"Forgot how it goes, just John, Jane and me"

You didn't name the doll John or Jane, you didn't know a John or a Jane, or maybe you did? Anyways you carried it around with you, finding it as a source of comfort for when your friends weren't nearby

"Forever eternally, Doll Doe"

You hugged the doll tighter as a tear slipped slid down your doll-like face,

You were angry, what had you done to deserve this? You should at least know what condemned you here? What sin was so bad to warrant this?

"And I'm askin' why lord,"

The effects kicked in as the room went darker as your voice raised, desperation, confusion.

"If this is how I die, lord"

Why couldn't you have a normal death at least! Did anyone even find your head? Was it eaten by animals? Did it hit some poor person trying to have a fun day at the amusement park?

"Why be left with no family"

The hotel residents began to develop a found family relationship, and you were apart of it, you loved it but, what was your family from before like? Did you even have one?

"And no friends?"

Assuming no one you knew had fallen down below, you didn't die alone but you came alone while the others had ascended to above.

"Ooh."

Background vocals came in out of nowhere lowkey freaking out some of your friends, Vaggie had already gotten her spear ready to Incase, of something maybe if the voices decided to attack

"I've got no celebration, just this consolation,"

Did you even have a funeral? Was it closed casket? Who attended?

"Time eats all his children, In the end"

You had questions and you wanted answers.

"Ahhh..."

Freaky disembodied background vocals

"A melody floats through the air, when silence falls, does no one care?"

You were human once, you didn't care what genre your life fell into, comedy, horror, tragedy, thriller, if you played the role of a villain or a hero, a funny side character, you just wanted to know

"Does anyone care?"

Where were the background vocals coming from, they were freaky.

"Another sad, forgotten tune"

Your story laid forgotten, abandoned on some bookshelf like a book a teenager brought thinking they'd like it but they couldn't even make it past the first page so it lays, rotting away.

"Another song that no one knows"

You wanted to go back, you wanted to live your life again, you didn't know what it entailed but you would do anything, make a deal, throw whatever afterlife you had away.

"So that's how it goes!''

No, you would keep the afterlife you were given, you cherished the memories you've made here.

"Just John, Jane and me"

Your life was cut short wasn't it? What didn't you get to experience, what didn't your choir experience?

Why did you all have to die that day? Why did the rollercoaster have to derail, why didn't they check it?

"Forever eternally, Dollface Doe"

"And she's asking why, lord?"

The disembodied voices were in all honesty a nice touch to the song, still freaky though especially since was now dolls scattered around the area, is that where the voices were coming from?

"Why, oh why, oh why, oh why...?"

Why?

You were the one who convinced your choir to go on the rollercoaster, you begged them offering to buy them snacks after,

They agreed, you didn't know.

Was that the thing that condemned you here??

"This is no way to die, lord!"

At least getting decapitated by a rollercoaster made for a good conversation starter, probably.

"No one to sing, no one to sigh"

You only got glimpses, sometimes a nostalgic feeling for something you couldn't remember no matter how desperately you wanted too.

"Now that all is said and done"

Life had ended, afterlife had only begun,

You couldn't go back, no matter what you did, even if you sold your soul, a soul you weren't sure you even had anymore.

"Isn't there anyone to tell me who I am?"

You were turned away from your friends, you didn't want to see the pitying face some of them probably had.

"No singing songs of celebration''

Were you someone who liked to party? A homebody? Were you a sweetheart? Did people say you had a heart of stone,

"Just this sorry speculation"

You could try and force yourself to remember but in the best case scenario you could get a glimpse and a headache, and the worse case you'd be left clutching your doll trying to comfort yourself with a horrible headache.

"Like John and Jane I'll be eternally"

Maybe you should give up on trying to figure out who you were, try to forget that you ever lived before this.

"A forgotten name, some lost refrain"

If anything, you didn't have to have your memories back completely, if you could just remember your name.

"Just 'Doll' "

You closed your eyes, clutching the doll.

"Dolly..."

The freaky dolls that appeared sneaked close, Vaggie stabbed one like a doll kabob

"Doe!"

You twirled and landed back in your seat, you leaned to the table to grab your drink again, intending to down it as the dolls finished your lament.

"A melody floats through the air, when silence falls, does no one care?"

The room began to lighten back up again as the creepy little dolls poofed away one by one, including the kabobbed one.

"Doll Doe."

You got a hug from a tearful Charlie and a two handed headpat from Angel since he couldn't really do anything else since you were trapped in Charlie's hug.

Charlie would later note that it was a successful trust exercise since everyone including you had opened up a little bit, you felt relieved to get that lament of yours off your chest, it didn't change much but breaking out in song was oddly therapeutic, you guessed that's why others did it so often!

Would you ever regain your memories? You didn't know, but for now you would try to remember anything from your past while making new memories with your friends at the Hazbin hotel.

Good evening folks! thank you for tuning on in, this has gotta be one of my favorite songfics to write to date, AGAIN I REALLY RECOMMEND RIDE THE CYCLONE, thank you for tuning in I hope you enjoyed! Goodnight folks!

[neonpaperlanterns]

While I am content to wait for the initial story I requested. And grow more and more excited for it as time passes.

I wish to request a little comfort story of a sort.

Kickin chicken (after successfully leaving the factory) coming across a scared and lost child in the woods and comforting them while looking for their family whom were having a picnic somewhere nearby.

Ending with the parents begrudgingly accepting Kickin joining their picnic. Possibly ending with a little "Can we keep em?" From the rescued child

-Sunny Anon.

[A/n: I hope it is okay that I named the child after you. Also any of the bigger bodies are just cyrtid material. Imagine encountering one in the wild. Horrifying.]

Lost in the woods

Kickin hated to admit, like really really hated to admit it, like really super ultra mega hated to admit it but he was lost. 

Very, very lost. 

He had thought turning around and trying to retrace his steps would have helped but it just made it so much worse. Everything looked the same to him. He tried to remember landmarks or just things to identify where exactly he was but all he saw were trees and more trees. It was insanity! 

Huffing Kickin dropped rather unceremoniously onto a log. It wobbled from the force as he dropped his head into his hands.  

He wished Hoppy was here or Bubba or DogDay. Just someone else who could take the lead and he wouldn’t be alone while lost in the woods.

Or alone in general. 

POKE

Kickin jumped at the sudden jab to the back of his arm. Pivoting forward he flailed as he tried to spin and stand at the same time. Tripping over his own feet he somersaulted forward and tumbled along the ground until he made contact with a tree. Tiny branches and leaves rained down on him as his world spun. 

When did everything get all upside down? 

He blinked owlishly as his legs hung over his head. Ah, he was upside down.

As he was trying to orient himself, high pitched giggling rang through the woods. Fumbling his way into the right position he whipped his head up to see a little kid with a rather pointy stick in hand just absolutely losing their mind with laughter. He doubted that they were much older than seven. Their little face was turning red as they fell back onto their butt. 

“You poked me!” The sound of his accusation caused all laughter to cease. The child’s expression became pinched as they stared at him with wide round eyes. He watched as their lower lip jutted out and began to quiver, how their shoulders started to shake. 

Oh no.

“Hey, hey no need to cry. See I’m just a rad silly chicken.” Kickin sang as he did a cartwheel.

“Tada!” Landing solidly on his feet he struck a pose. He saw their mouth twitch slightly but their eyes were still glossy so he wasn’t out of the danger zone just yet.

“Check it.” Wiggling his arms up and down he moon-walked backwards. Making beatboxing noises he tried to do the worm. Doing it on a forest floor was not his smartest idea but he could hear the beginning of tiny giggles so he kept going. 

His arms were starting to get sore as he pushed himself up into a handstand. He tried and failed to balance on one hand and tipped backwards.

“Oof.” The wind was knocked out of him as he lay sprawled out on the ground.

“Are you okay?” A gentle prod at his foot had him raising his head slightly. The kids shoulders were hunched and had the stick pointed at him. But they didn’t look on the verge of tears anymore, really they looked more sheepish than anything.

“Yeah.” Sitting up slowly he watched as they shuffled backwards.

“Oh I’m KickinChicken. What’s your name?” He asked as he situated himself into criss-cross applesauce. 

“I’m Sunny.” They blinked up at him. “Why are you a giant chicken?”

“Why are you a tiny child?” He shot back. The kid looked down at their hands like he just shook their entire world view. 

“Why am I a tiny child?” They whispered. 

“Where are your parents?” He inquired, attempting to redirect a potential existential crisis. They were too young for that.

“At the park.” They answered matter of factly. 

“Where’s the park?” He asked matter of factly.

“I don’t know.” Sunny shrugged. 

“So you don’t know where your parents are.” It wasn’t a question and it seemed saying this out loud clicked something for Sunny because suddenly big fat tears began to roll down their cheeks. 

Oh no.

Kickin panicked as the kid wailed. He didn’t think any amount of dancing or cartwheels would fix this.

“Hey no, it’s okay. We’ll find your parents. I promise.” He stood up and reached out to Sunny. “Come on, let's go. We’ll find them in no time.” They didn’t budge and continued to cry. Not really sure what to do, Kickin scooped them up. He wanted to ask which way they came from but he doubted he would get an answer so he just went forward. 

Bouncing Sunny in his arms he started sing talking. He sang about the trees, the sky, a bird he just saw, even the rock he stepped on. It sort of seemed to work, their sobs turned more into hiccups as they interjected about a bug. 

As he continued to walk and as the sky was getting darker he started to hear voices. 

Voices were good. Picking up the pace he spun on his heel and bound towards what he assumed were people. Getting closer he could just make out the muffled yells of someone calling Sunny’s name. He was running now as the trees began to thin and there was a peek of a grassy field.

“Sunny! Sunny, where are you?” The concerned voice of a woman had said child perking up.

“Mommy! Mommy!” Sunny chanted as Kickin broke the tree line. 

So Kickin forgot something very important as he watched Sunny’s parents run towards them. He forgot that he was a giant, probably monstrous looking, forever grinning chicken. 

And that terrified most people.

Sunny’s parents were not the exception.

Their gait became uneven and their expressions shifted and morphed into a mix of worry and fear. It made something sour settle in his stomach. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” Sunny squirmed in his arms as he let them down. He watched as they darted straight into their parents' waiting arms. Averting his gaze he kicked his foot along the ground as he listened to the happy reunion. 

Kickin wasn't sure what to do now though but a tug at his arm halted any forming ideas as Sunny was suddenly dragging him closer to their parents.

They did not look pleased.

“This is Kickin. I found him.” Well they weren’t wrong, they did find them. “He does dances and cartwheels.” He wasn’t entirely sure where this was going and shared the confused look on the parents' faces.

“I see.” Sunny’s mother spoke softly as she tried to grab her child but Sunny wasn’t paying attention and started monkey climbing up Kickin’s leg.

“Sunny, honey come here, please.” Their father asked but his request went ignored.

“Why were you in the woods?” The child turned chimp asked and honestly he felt bad for the parents. They fidgeted and twitched forward as Sunny used him as a jungle gym.

“I was uh lost. Like you.” Sunny nodded sagely.

“Then we should bring you home.” They turned to their parents. “Right?” The kid tone brokered no argument. 

“Well that depends.” The dad coughed into his fist. “Uh Kickin where do you live?” The man looked ready to faint.

An awkward laugh left Kickin as he juggled Sunny. “Um, I don't live anywhere?” Sunny let out a rather dramatic gasp.

“What?!” They yelled as they kolaed around his arm. “You don’t have a home?” He shook his head at their question. Sunny turned a desperate look to their parents.

“He has to come home with us!” Once again said with the confidence that only a child could have. Their parents spluttered as Sunny was already climbing off of him and heading towards somewhere. One of his fingers wrapped firmly in their tiny little hand.

“You’ll like our house. It’s tall, like you. And you can stay in my room and we can build forts and you can meet my cat. And~” Sunny pitched their voice lower as if they were telling him a secret. “You can help me get the snacks high up.” It was sweet to listen to Sunny ramble about the snacks and how he was going to love all the toys they had and how they would be able to watch cartoons together. 

He wasn’t sure if things would work out exactly how the kid pictured or if their parents were actually going to go along with it. But he had wished to not be alone and he would give Sunny anything for answering it.

[madrone33]

Right so... been going crazy trying to catch up on the explosion of stuff peeps have been doing since the EPIC: The Musical Ocean Saga release, but. Got some downtime now, and I just wanted to post my reaction to listening to the songs, 'cause it was wild bro.

Fyi, this is all taking place at around 11:30 pm 24th Dec for me, as I'm an australian, so that would make it... uh, 8:30 am 24th Dec for americans I think? Idk, timezones are weird bro. Basically, I listened to the songs and then wrote down my immediate reactions at like 1 am lol.

*ahem*

OK HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK. OK OK. They came out for australians. They CAME OUT FOR AUSTRALIA!!!!

I was on dicord, right? And then another australian says they're out, and i'm like wait what but there's still like 16 hours till midnight in est, but i look up 'luck runs out jorgre rivera-herrans' on yt (cause it's a unique name) and scroll down and FUCK IT'S THERE!! THE STANDARD AUTO TOPIC VERSION!! IT'S NOT EVEN MIDNIGHT HERE YET?? (23:24 at the time of discovery. The vid says it was uploaded 3 hrs ago already)

The piano. I heard the first notes of piano and ohhhhh shiiiit it's actually happening!!!

i opened the door and called out to mum 'cause i was still in disbelief and she was still awake and i was like "mum... i think it's out" or SOMETHIG LIKE THAT IDK THE EXACT WORDS. She said jokingly she'd thought i had an existential crisis and GIRL IT KINDA FELT LIKE IT?? I WAS NOT PREPARED! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANOTHER 16 HOURS!

I tapped on the link thingy to the album in the description and then i had the album RIGHT THERE HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS. IT'S STORM. IN THE FLESH. THERE'S A FUCKING TRUMPET-

I did my civic duty and informed (read: screamed in all caps) to everyone in the discord while mum listened to the first song 'cause she said she was interested and asked and i was so excited and gave her my headphones to listen to storm and then I took em back once I was done and now it's time to go dark. I said goodnight to mum and... pressed play.

Here's the highlights:

Storm: mixing is on another level bro. The vocals, the harmonies, the chorus, and hearing all those snippets without breaks in between, actually flowing and making sense and that ending beat is AHHH-

It went so fast. It's three min long how did it go by so fast what-

Luck Runs Out: the piano is godly. They actually changed the melody of the 'you could be caught off guard' part. My first thought after ooo? Was 'damn it no longer sounds like shut up and dance w/ me' lol.

I think this one changed the most from the snippets. Jsut the way they say lines, and stray words. I love it. The harmonies-

KYFC: the intro is that one atmospheric snippet he did with the flutes!! Aeolus sounds so sassy compared to the old snippets oof hell yes! There's a small instrumental interlude between the first chorus and the crew asking about the bag which is new.

THE PENELOPE PART. OH. MY. GOD. I LEGIT TEARED UP, I WAS CRYING, I'M CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND TYPING THIS OUT IT WAS SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING.

Trying to hold them in his arms? Time to be that father he always wanted to be?? His eyes and heart and soul is heavy??? I'm FUCKING CRYING-

Also wow he really just stayed up for 9 days huh? Respect. Also, fuck those crewmates man. Bet they felt real stupid when it got them killed. Oh, wait, fuck it didn't Poseidon killed everyone but them oh hell nah- And Odysseus still goes to save them from Circe?? Bro. BRO. Just let them die. It ain't worth it.

And that's how Jorge introduces the land of the giants? Cool! I was wondering about that.

Poesiedon pull up! (Is it bad that i thought he sounded like ares in the pj musical there lmao-)

RUTHLESSNESS: it's here. Oh my lord it's here. Everyone stay calm. Fuck it IT'S FUCKING HERE!!

The chanting, Ody's terrified 'Poseidon...', the electric guitar on Poseidon's verse, the fucking growl in his voice is amazing, the 'Die.' is as;ihfd HELL FUCKING YES!!

I love that the 'Captain-!'s of the drowning men is more apparent here, and the silence afterwards... ooof you can hear Ody's horrified stuttered breaths and the way the lyric's changed to '43 left under your command' is soooo fucking good.

And then Ody's sudden defiance and the fucking burning in his eyes as he defies a god and escapes death- Yes. YES! It's so good-

... No wait it's over?? That's it??? WHYYYYY-

(Side note - the fact that there weren't any ads between vids is incredible and I thank the gods for this blessing.)

Ok, but all seriousness, that was incredible. I- I couldn't stop smiling. My face actually started hurting I was smiling so much. I was shaking the whole time, and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe, and- It was amazing. This was an amazing experience, and I'm so glad I could freak out to mum, and she was excited with me, and it was such a good surprise, like an actual chrismas gift from Jorge or some shit. I love it. I love this. Genuinely. It's an amazing thing he's given us and I thank him, sincerely. Thank you, Jorge, and everyone involved in creating this for people to enjoy and love. You should all be proud.

Thanks for reading me freak out, whoever made it to the end lmao. Tagging @dootznbootz because their rambles gave me the confidence to throw my own into the void. Thx :D

[mylittlewumperland]

Don't you love it when your whumpee has been whumped so hard their memories ditch em' ??

• The Whumper coming in to check on them ( expecting whumpee to be terrified) but instead whumpee's like " ayo- do I know you?- "

• they have a very intense feeling that they should trust this said person/Whumper. BUT it turns out to be 100% WRONG.

• The Whumper/person plays along, but later when whumpee's memory returns, they use this to their advantage??

• caretaker sitting beside whumpee in a hospital bed, whumpee wakes up, caretaker runs over and hugs them- but whumpee pushes them away and asks who they are- I can just imagine the hurt on caretakers face.

• whumpee being completely confused why/how they got all the scars and cuts.

• whumpee looking in the mirror having a existential crisis, wondering what was going on. ( Cue caretaker walking in ) whumpee screams at them " HOW'D YOU GET IN MY HOUSE!? "

( some delectable dialogue- )

" w-who are you?- "

" I SWEAR, YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR! "

" do I know you?- " ( cue sly smile, cause they think the said person is cute ) " cause I think I'd remember a cutie like you "

( caretaker or said person looks at them baffled )

( CAN'T REMEMBER THE STINKING PASSWORD TO THEIR PHONE )

" where am I? "

( caretaker or said person talking to whumpee ) " y-you don't r-remember me?- "

" hey hey don't panic I'm here.. "

" BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! "

" how'd I get these- " ( traces fingers over scars )

" you must be able to remember something right!? "

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 24: when the party’s over

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: language, angst

* Word count: 2,043ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all!

Author's note: Ugh this fall out is killing me! I hope you’re all enjoying still! This chapter is kind of filler, and shorter than usual, but some important things do occur.

I’m posting this early because one, I’m impatient, and two it was a present to myself for finishing up a couple chapters today lol.

Stella sat on Abigail waiting to help move the herd. She was annoyed she was there and in the presence of her latest case of idiocy, but helping out with the cattle came with the territory. She couldn’t avoid doing her job, especially when there wasn’t much training to be done at the current moment. She spotted Kayce up on the hill talking to his dad. It looked like he was having an existential crisis. An unsympathetic laugh blew out her nose. ‘Not my problem.’

Kayce descended the hill and centered himself in front of everyone. He locked onto Stella, who disregarded his gaze. She stared at the back of Abigail’s head in between her ears. Kayce felt eyes burning into him and found Ryan glaring daggers at him. He looked down and cleared his throat before looking back up. “Take the cows up to pasture nine. Go through the east canyon and up the fire road. Any questions?”

“There’s no gate along the fire road. We’d have to cut the fence.” Ryan pushed back, not so subtly letting Kayce know he was pissed.

Kayce nodded. “Yeah, exactly. Then we’ll fix it.”

“We push ‘em across the river and we could follow the creek —,” Colby tried to form a plan, but Ryan interrupted.

“— then we’d have to swim 100 cattle across the river.”

“Cows can swim.” Stella reminded her brother tentatively. “So can our horses. So can we.” She and Colby made a face at him.

“Hey I can’t. I don’t know how to swim, man.” Jimmy admitted.

Stella slouched back in her saddle and watched the guys argue amongst themselves. She wasn’t offering anything up to anyone. They obviously didn’t want to listen, and that wasn’t her problem. There was also the fact that she didn’t want to go hard defending Kayce’s plan. She had found her lane the hard way. That’s where she would stay. She tried once and that was enough. Reaching her hand forward she patted Abigail. She was going to keep her head down to the task at hand.

Rip shouted. “Do you know how to shut the fuck up? He didn’t ask you your opinion. He asked if there was any questions, and they’re ain’t! Now get your asses out in that field and start movin’ them cows up the canyon like he told you. Go on.”

Stella and the guys turned their horses and moved to the gate to the main pasture. Ryan pushed past her on BJ causing Abigail to squeal. “Knock it off Ryan!”

“Seniority, Stella.” He retorted back at her. She huffed at her brother’s antics and looked behind him.

Rip sidled his gelding up next to Kayce. “You ask them questions, Kayce, questions will never stop. You tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it, they won’t question me.”

“Well you said they need to respect me.”

“You let me handle the wranglers and you’ll have both. That’s my job.”

“All right, well, when we get ‘em up to pasture nine, you choose the way.”

“I don’t choose the way. Make sure no one questions yours.”

Kayce brought up the rear to the gate as Lloyd was closing it. The older wrangler stared him down. “You were a hand long enough. You know who to talk to.”

“Just tryin’ to do it different.”

“Different never works.”

The trek up to pasture nine was uneventful. She was running drag with Lloyd. The task allowed her brain to concentrate on something else and not think about every stupid thing that had occurred in the last week. She had gotten in way over her head and blinded by her laughable feelings. ‘How could you be such an idiot? He’s fucking married. You literally signed up for that spot like a mare in flaming heat.’ Her grip tightened around her reins.

Lloyd gave her a sidelong glance. “Roll that choke back in them reins, lil’ bit. She needs to have range of motion. You know better.”

Stella sat up straight and relaxed her hands. “Sorry Lloyd. Got caught in my head.”

“You’ve been quieter than normal. Somethin’ wrong?”

She pulled her lips together. “I mean, yeah, but I’ll be fine. Just gotta get through the rough part first.”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Hearing those words from the man she considered a father almost made her tear up. She forced herself not to because of the dust flying around. She didn’t need mud to form on her face. They locked eyes for a brief second and that was all Lloyd needed to see. The look of dejection and embarrassment flashed in her eyes. He knew the look of heartbreak and disappointment on her, probably better than she did.

“We’ll get through it, you and I. Just focus on gettin’ these cattle run.”

“I don’t know if you’d be saying that if you knew what happened.” He tilted his head as if he was asking her to go on. She shifted in her saddle and took the plunge. “I became the other woman.”

His mind quickly went to Kayce. “Stella, you didn’t?”

She shrunk down. “Unfortunately I was an idiot.” She looked ahead to the cattle. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment and disgust on Lloyd’s face.

Lloyd blinked slowly, coming to terms with what she had told him. Everyone knew she held a torch for John’s boy, but when he got married they thought that would be the end of it. Clearly they had all been wrong. He had so many questions, but he didn’t even know where to begin.

“Don’t worry. It’s over. Just trying to do my job and go home, Lloyd.” Stella cut Abigail out to the left to push the cattle over some. They had started to spread out further than she had liked. Back to business.

They made it back with only a little hiccup of the fence needing repaired first.

Stella ran into Ryan coming out of the bunkhouse. “Hey, where are you headed?”

“To give your affair a job.” Ryan sent a dig at her.

“I put an end to it.”

“Yeah. Whatever Stella.” He finished, leaving her standing there with her mouth hanging open.

Kayce walked into the downtown office where his dad’s office for livestock commissioner was situated. He said hello to a few people, took a deep breath, and pushed his way into the room.

“Ready to fingerprint scan?” Handon asked.

“I got it.” Ryan made a face at his fellow agent. “Place your fingers flat on that device.”

“Can I see your driver’s license please?” Handon interrupted.

John launched into an explanation. “To be an agent, you gotta go to the police academy first. We can drag that out for a bit, but you can’t hold my office without the badge.”

“I don’t want your office.” Kayce declined.

John laughed. “Well you can’t have it for about 15 years. It’ll take ya that long to earn everyone’s trust. Understand, Kayce, this office is how you protect the ranch. And every ranch like it.” John pointed to Handon. “Put it on speaker.”

“Sure.”

“We're about to find out how big a role you play in this family, son.” John said.

The phone clicked when the other side picked up. “NCIC.”

“Yeah this is agent Handon, Montana Livestock Association.”

“Authorization number?”

“Mike Tango Lima Alpha 139259.”

“Name?”

“Dutton, Kayce John, date of birth 4/24/90, drivers license number MT 83745820382.”

“Dutton, Kayce John. No priors, no outstanding.”

“Thank you.” Handon hung up.

“Miracles never cease.” John stood up and removed his hat.

“Well, he’s cleared for a ride-along, sir.” Handon offered John.

“Let’s get him started next week.”

Kayce put his hands on his hips. “Can I talk to you alone for a second?”

“Give us a minute.” John shooed Handon and Ryan. They get up and leave quickly. John rested back on his desk.

“I don’t know about this, dad. There’s just so many things that could go wrong.”

John held out his hand to pause his son. “Kayce, woah woah. You just let me worry about that.”

Kayce propped his arms in the back of the chair in front of him. “I can’t pass a polygraph test.”

“Well, you won’t have to.”

“Well what about a psych eval?” Kayce tried to find every outlet he could.

“Well you won’t have to take one of those either.”

When all of his escape plans didn’t follow through, he heaved a sigh. “I gotta go.”

“Kayce? What makes you think you wouldn’t pass a psych evaluation?”

He held onto the door and said, “my whole life.”

Kayce exited his father’s office. He proceeded through the front door of the building and went out onto the sidewalk. He pulled a small slip of paper out of his back pocket. It had Monica’s new apartment address on it. He had to go find her and figure some things out.

He walked along the pavement of downtown and came up to building 73 Chateau Normandie. Glancing down at the paper to double check himself, he took the stairs two at a time. The hallway was quiet as he wandered through looking for Monica’s apartment number.

He reached the end of the hallway and the door he was searching for was on his right. He lifted his hand and knocked a few times. It opened and there his wife stood, looking beautiful as ever and surprised.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“How you doin’?” Kayce felt like a teenager again. Stella flashed through his mind and he sobered.

“You know. You wanna come in?” Monica pulled the door open wider.

“Yeah, sure.”

They stepped into the apartment and the air was thick. The elephant in the room needed to be addressed, but neither of them knew how to approach it.

“You recovered?” Kayce asked.

“Getting there.” Monica crossed her arms.

“It looks like a home in here.”

“Yeah, I try.” Monica chuckled.

“Seems kinda permanent.” Kayce pointed out, testing the waters to see where his wife’s judgment stood.

“It’s an apartment, Kayce, it’s a place to,” Monica stopped. “You want any water or anything?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Kayce trailed behind her to the kitchen area.

“Heard you were workin’ for your father now, huh?”

“Yeah, I just —,” Tate interrupted him.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, bud.” Kayce hugged him tight. He missed him something fierce.

Tate asked him excitedly. “Wanna see my new room?”

“Yeah, sure buddy.”

“It’s over here.”

Tate led his father down the hallway and Monica listened from a distance. She leaned against the wall and dropped her head back. Tears blurred her vision. She hated this. She hated being apart from Kayce, but he’d proven time and time again his father’s pull on him was stronger than he’d like to admit. She had to keep their son safe from that. She walked to the mirror to wipe her eyes before Kayce came back.

Kayce walked back down the hallway and around the corner. “How you affordin’ all of this?”

“Uh, university gives us a spending allowance. So I spent it on all of this instead of moving. All our furniture was old and someone else’s.”

“I know it’s not much, but—,” Monica interrupted curtly.

“We’re fine.”

“Please.” Kayce huffed. “I don’t know how to do this Monica. I don’t know how to not be with you. Or not talk to you. You’re my wife. You’re my best friend. You’re my only friend.”

“You’re mine too Kayce, but you also have Stella.”

“This isn’t about her.”

“But something had to change. And instead of changing, you’re just, you’re working for your father. And it probably should be about her as well. I’m sure you ran straight into her arms the second you got home.”

“Well you told me to leave!”

“Yeah everyone keeps telling you to leave and you keep doing it! What you’re supposed to do is fight for the life you want.”

“That’s not what you asked me to do!”

“Stop it!” Tate screamed over top of his parents.

Kayce and Monica glared at each other. “You asked me to leave, Monica. You wanted somethin’ different, you should have asked for something different.” He said resolutely. He walked past Tate and patted his head as he stormed out the door.

[can-of-pringles]

Ok now you've got me thinking about those crack-y OC lore things, I don't have the editing skills to make one but here's like... my "script" for one of Gia:

*image of a medical office*

Doctor: hello and welcome to uhhhhh our medical study on cancer. what brings you here?

Gia: hi i have a Noble Cause my sister died of cancer 3 years ago and i want to help stop things like that from happening

Doctor: wonderful. come back to my Totally Not A Hoax medical room

*Scooby-Doo criminal unmasking*

Doctor: Aha it was a trick! This is HYDRA! Time to trap you and experiment on you because OSHA doesn't exist here

Gia: oh noooooo!!

*dramatic fizzle/fade/sway like a shitty Powerpoint presentation, or when characters fall asleep in B-movies*

Doctor: we're gonna take your life force out of your body. *hyperrealistic hands reach towards Gia and pull out something that just says "IDK SOUL I GUESS" in either Comic Sans or one of those Microsoft Word title fonts*

Doctor: now it's in this clover (*the same hyperrealistic hands carry the "soul" to a stock image of a four-leaf clover*) bc we didn't really think about where we were gonna put it when we took it out

Gia: Ow! Existential crisis! I can't really die anymore! Am I even human? Does this make me immortal? I have so many questions and I don't know what to-

Doctor: hey have you read Misery? The book not the movie

Gia: No why

Doctor: No reason

*stock image of an axe comes spinning in, unceremoniously chops off Gia's left leg at the knee, then both the axe and leg spin back out of the frame*

*TV static/"lost connection" scene just reading "this is all she remembers because of ~trauma~"*

*image of a run-down building in the middle of the city*

Gia: oh well I'm out of HYDRA now and my soul is still bound to this shitty little pot of clover so I guess I need to open a flower shop now.

*long pause*

Gia: also I might be clinically depressed

*another long pause*

Gia: well back to the flower shop

*magic wand floats in, waves a little spell, and with a cartoony "pop!", the desolate building becomes a small flower shop instead.*

Gia: I'm so glad I can pretend HYDRA never happened. Well except that I'm so anxious I can't leave the house and I think I have PTSD and also I'm still missing a leg. but I have a bird now *stock image of a blue-and-white budgie spins in and lands on her shoulder*

*doorbell chimes*

Kate Bishop: hello I'm here to pick up some flowers for my Avenger friend. purple please.

*romantic music, emoji hearts surround Kate, like a Looney Tunes character falling in love*

Gia: marry me. I mean here are your flowers *bouquet of violets passes from Gia to Kate*

Kate: oh by the way do you want to Not Be Afraid Of Life Anymore?

Gia: not right now but maybe if you keep whittling me down over the course of several months I'll change my mind

Kate: great I'll see you thursday

*closing music? or some other cheesy way to end it idk*

Omg I see it so clearly it's a masterpiece

'Doctor: we're gonna take your life force out of your body. *hyperrealistic hands reach towards Gia and pull out something that just says "IDK SOUL I GUESS" in either Comic Sans or one of those Microsoft Word title fonts*'

THE HYPERREALISTIC HANDS GOT ME

'*stock image of an axe comes spinning in, unceremoniously chops off Gia's left leg at the knee, then both the axe and leg spin back out of the frame*'

THE SPINNING AXE AND LEGS?! Fantastic I need 14 of 'em

'*long pause*

Gia: also I might be clinically depressed

*another long pause*

Gia: well back to the flower shop'

Gia... girl 😭 you need some cricket sounds or something in the pauses and then happy music when she mentions the flower shop like nothing just happened

'Gia: I'm so glad I can pretend HYDRA never happened. Well except that I'm so anxious I can't leave the house and I think I have PTSD and also I'm still missing a leg. but I have a bird now *stock image of a blue-and-white budgie spins in and lands on her shoulder*'

THE BUDGIE SPINNING-

[lylethewaterguy]

Some of my favourite dc characters and songs that remind me of them because i felt like it:

Oliver Queen/Green Arrow: Island - Miley Cyrus

Sounds obvious I know, but it really fits him perfectly with his love/hate relationship to the island.

“And I won’t lie, it sure gets lonely here at night - But no one here needs nothing from me, and it’s kinda nice”

Roy Harper/Arsenal: Archer - Taylor Swift

This one also seems very obvious based on the title but I also think it just suits Roy and everything he’s been through both with addiction and with losing so many people close to him.

“I’ve been the archer - I’ve been the prey - Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? - But who could stay?”

Dick Grayson/Nightwing: Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

This song is 100% Dick (/Jason) thinking about Bruce and you cannot convince me otherwise.

“And every girl I ever talked to said that you were bad, bad news - You called them crazy, God I hate the way I called them crazy too - You’re so convincing - How do you lie without flinching”

Justice League International: Americana - Jonas Brothers

No thoughts, just vibes. I don’t know why but this song is how I feel when reading or thinking about the JLI.

“We’re gonna get home when we get home”

Beatriz Da Costa/Fire and Tora Olafsdotter/Ice: Green Green Grass - George Ezra

Both perfect colour wise but also captures their partners in crime energy super well I think.

“Green, green grass - Blue, blue sky - You better throw a party on the day that I die”

Scott Free/Mister Miracle: God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner

This is mainly based on the 2018 existential crisis Barbie Scott (aka my favourite Scott).

“Same hands that made the moon and the stars - Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts - I don’t know what I believe - But it’s easier to think - He made a mistake with me”

Ted Kord/Blue Beetle: Groundhog Day - Em Beihold

I just feel like Ted is a very stuck in the past, doesn’t really have a place in the present, character and this song perfectly encapsulates that.

“I just wanna drive away - But I don’t have a car, so I guess I gotta stay - And it’s easy to say I’m okay - Up and down these emotional waves”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold: Used To Be Young - Miley Cyrus

Modern/post 2007 dad Booster thinking back to his days with the JLI.

“You tell me time has done changed me - That’s fine, I had a good run - I know I used to be crazy - That’s cause I used to be young”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold: DEAD FRIENDS - Demi Lovato

Feels somewhat self explanatory.

“I miss the hell we can’t raise, I miss the time we can’t waste - I miss the texts they can’t send, I miss my dead friends”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold and Ted Kord/Blue Beetle: Loved You Before - Peach PRC

They gay.

“Two complementary colors - The winter, the spring and summer - Forever just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered”

(I thought about including songs from musicals but then I figured there’s so many more so that’s be better for a separate post)

[champion-level-astroturfing]

Maybe you were in an evil team but got your memory blasted when you left. Could have a long-lost evil twin. Or got cloned. Zoroark saw you. Ditto saw you. Could keep going. - ☠️

i'm pretty sure i've never actually left the region, so, y'know, one would HOPE number one's out of the question. 'cause man am i not up for a major league existential crisis right now lol. not sure who'd want to bother cloning me either, 'snot like i've got a mysterious backstory or anything. born on a farm outside ballonlea, mum left when me and the brother were tiny, dad moved us to the town proper 'cause he fell out with his dad, yadda yadda...

also if a ditto or a zoroark is wearing my skin and the first thing they did with it is go join an evil team i gotta admit i'm a bit disappointed in em. there's so many other things they could be doing with this body if you know what i mean

[strangejumble]

NEW PFP TIME -

just reply with which one cause they ain't enough room for poll lol I'll tally em till end of month, also taking recomendations thanks x

•Alastor-basic, almost too basic

•Salad Fingers- classic, makes ppl less keen to interact though

• Mr Burns- yeah from the simpsons 💀

•Lain - matchy machy w my Existential crisis

•The babadook- cause when he was moaning on that floor he was - um 🤭

I'm open to further ideas !!

[the-fandom-hopping-mage]

thoughts on the special #2

this was fun last time so why not do it again

i had to double check that i was watching the right show cause it was in the wrong time period then I remembered that its a show about time travel and aliens

not to be racist but I feel like that guy shouldn't be black if its the past

apple tree OH its newton got it

I like her she reminds me of ms hudson. shes probably not his housekeeper either

okay its definitely newton

of COURSE. omg I've done it I've solved the secrets of the univ-HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A FLYING PHONE BOOTH WHAT THE F- *its raining apples from out of the sky apples no need to ask why*

honestly relatable, doctor you gotta stop traumatising people in the past

OH MY GOD HES SO PROUD OF HER "THIS IS MY FRIEND!! DONNA, MY FRIEND DONNA NOBLE!! WHO IS HERE WITH ME!! WHO SPILLED COFFEE, AND NOW WE'RE HERE ON ANOTHER ADVENTURE!! DONNA NOBLE!!"

"So he can blame me for all eternity." these two are so cute old married couple fr (platonic)

DOCTORDAVID ILY YOU ARE ADORABLE look how excited he is to meet him

spoilers~

the GRAVITY of the SITUATION oh my god i love donna so much

oh my GOD its MAVITY (its giving Mawage)

was i too busy getting excited in the first special to notice the new theme??? its so cool woah the tardis is doing flips

oh flickering lights that's never good that's how the angels get ya

DOCTOR WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER OH MY GOD IS SHE OKAY

sir you have some apologizing to do after all she's done for you and you light her on fire every chance you get no wonder she threw you out last regeneration

lol the tardis was so pissed at him she became american

ye you should be sorry apologize to her for blowing her up

no DONNA its a non-sonic screwdriver obviously

why the FUK are you YELLING at it jesus christ someone needs to teach this man stranger danger especially since 80% of the creatures they meet try to kill them

donna: No i need to be the Voice of Reason doctor: ..... donna: yeah okay you're right lets go to questionably safe activities

Mavity, Mavity. Mavity is wot bwings us to Earf today. Mavity, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam-

oh no its a wall

Donna: Wait you didn't know? All of us knew, you were the fruitest fruit loop we'd ever met the writers are just allowed to be controversial now

these two Idiots (affectionate)

Yes, the tardis took advantage of your absence and turned Common Sense Protocol back on, obviously someone needed to

if a very slow robot is trying to walk down a very long corridor i feel like the best plan of action is to see what its walking towards not what its walking away from??

why are there no stars are they inside dark matter or smth

OR THE END OF THE UNIVERSE HELLO AGAIN YANA

oh wormhole well I guess that's cool too

okay you say 'oh no its the edge of the universe' literally all the time I'm not that scared anymore

that pose is so silly why are you standing like that

oh Fuck its a Thing

'just settling' with your luck its a weeping angel or some shit

the change in his voice when they went into the echoy room gave me a heart attack I thought it was a new person

DUDE its giving the same vibes as "Is this perfume or alcohol? *drinks whole bottle* it's perfume"

good lord this man is an idiot

iTs A nOiSe with YOUR luck?????? learn from your friends sir she's got common sense

these guys are being way too blase about the drastic temperature shift it might just be my Awareness Of The Genre but I do think they should be more concerned

oh em gee its creepy mimicks that's weird (dude the donna mimic isn't even remotely realistic like the doctor mimic was pretty good had me fooled but she comes in like "I have done what you ordered. I am a robot.")

I swear. This man. Isn't he supposed to be clever or smth

EW

why is the steering wheel shaped like a sandal

This man's typecast is literally Sad Gay Men why are they ALWAYS so SAD

I think the doctor currently having an existential crisis is the Real doctor with Fake donna and the one without the tie is the Fake doctor with Real donna

#nope its not her

#called it

he looks so betrayed how can she not immediately start apologizing look at that face

The Real Genius of This Show: DONNA NOBLE, everybody, round of applause for donna noble

jesus these things' life goal is to bring up all their insecurities isn't it

oh my god give this man a break

okay the last time you(r face) encountered a copying alien, it very nearly succeeded by stealing your voice. Maybe that's a good hint to Shut Up???? Its gonna keep stealing your thouuuuughts

how to stop thinking: knock her out. you don't think (consciously) if your unconscious. just hit her over the head if you both live she'll thank you in the end

WITH THE KNOCKS TOO if this is midnight 2.0 I swear-

BUT NOW YOURE GIVING THEM THE COMPLETED VERSIONS OF YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS

the way that's framed it very nice the stunt double and the actor can be in the same shot since their faces arent together

that's not therapeutic that's self destructive

Go Converse Go Converse You Can Do It

wait if those guys aren't matter and they absorb heat why wouldn't the bomb just feed them I feel like there are flaws in this plan

That is a Fabulous entrance bravo tardis have you ever perhaps considered musical theatre I promise you would have to deal with fewer dumbasses who like to blow you up

its a skateboard woo eeeeeee

ok saved donna is not excited enough at all I'm suspicious (and if its real donna I'm concerned)

did he just kill his best friend for the second time

he owes the tardis and donna SO many apologies after this

idk if its the music or the doctors influence but it is sad that those two died (if they did I still think they didn't)

✨Trauma Buddies✨

You idiot if you've got a feeling its probably right its always right with you

c'mon bestie spill your trauma

"I'm alright""Is that special time lord code for 'really not alright at all'? 'Cause I'm alright, too." ah how far we've come *wipes tear*

imagine being wilf and for the past 15 years you've been sure you killed one of your best friends and NOW HES BACK

in crying

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN TWO GODDAMN DAYS GOOD LORD

wow Grammarly really doesn't like my tumblr grammar

the end

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Feeling eepy so...

☾ - Jimmy Casket

☾ - sleep headcanon

Thank you so much anon!! I hope you got some good sleep since sending this in <3

Normally, Casket does not sleep like at all. Mostly because it usually happens that Ghost is awake when Casket either falls asleep or gets knocked unconscious, and takes control of the body again. Plus, Ghost is asleep 9/10 times it’s just Ghost— Casket is not going to waste precious stabbing time sleeping no matter how exhausted the body is. Plus, he’s nocturnal, so he’s intentionally aiming to come out at night to Not sleep. However, if you’re able to knock ‘em out with gas or something, the differences in him and Ghost’s sleep patterns can be observed.

The primary difference is that Ghost usually sleeps like the dead, doesn’t even change his position while he sleeps, Casket tends to twitch, kick, and talk in his sleep. Ghost also tends to lay out, while Casket curls himself into a ball on his side. Like a kitten. A kitten with a knife.

Now, I say 9/10 because there have been rare instances where Casket tried to possess the body while Ghost was tired and just wound up passing out because he wasn’t prepared for how sleepy Ghost really was. And it takes Toast by surprise every single time. Especially if Ghost suddenly kicks him awake in bed, that just causes a whole existential crisis at 3 in the morning.

Chaos reigns!! Even when going snork mimimimi.

Ask Game Here!

[pumpkinsy0]

You have any valentines hcs of the Shepards? (Especially Tim) 👀 also happy Valentine’s Day!! ٩( ᐛ )و

happy valentines day ٩(＾◡＾)۶!!!!

im srry i didnt reply earlier i was busy at school and i just got home</33

BUT HCS

•i feel like tim doesnt rlly see the appeal, HOWEVER, he does like helping angela and curly look good for the day (even if he acts like he hates it)

•its a weird thing where like hes glad theyre going out and getting bitches as they should but like, damn theyre growing up fr, think of it as his valentines day existential crisis

•angela def makes him take pocs of her outfits, he’s actually not that bad at photography if he stopped acting like an ass and took it seriously

•but!!!in return she lets him have the chocolates she gets (he fucking loves lindor chocolate)

•the shepard gang gives him a ton of (potentially stolen) gifts bc 1) hes the leader cant take shit without letting him in on it 2) he deserves it and its way too many things to keep to like 6 other ppl

•he has secret admirers, well ALL the shepards do but still

•angela gets a BUNCH of letters, flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, balloons, just piling up in and out her locker, what a girlboss

•she tends to keep the flowers for her lil funky at home art projects, theyre actually like rlly pretty!!!

•everytime i think of angela on valentines i think of early 2000s avril lavigne songs so do w that what u will

•NOW ONTO CURLY, he actually has the same amount of admirers as angela cause boy oh boy is he a flirt, but they dont rlly give him as many gifts cause theyre scared if he ever found them out

•bit the ones he do gets he reads em, takes whatever gift they give em, maybe keeps it or just gives it to pony LMAOOOO

•but seriously doesnt care too much about it, he got a sweet corny poem from pony so all is swell in his corner<333

•curly on valentines reminds me of spraying cologne is ur mouth as like a mouthwash spray, now has he done it on purpose or on accident????u decide

•all the shepards whip out the creole/french/spanish/ whatever language u hc them to speak especially on valentines day idc idc

[teamrocketmemes]

"Soundtrack To An Existential Crisis" lyric starters

lyrics chosen from Au/Ra's 2021 album "Soundtrack To An Existential Crisis" & adjusted into sentence starters for RP / Prompt purposes. Feel free to customize / change pronouns, phrasing, & etc as needed!

"All I wanna do is shake my head, but how am I gonna do that with a broken neck?" "I'm just a dead girl, don't live in your world." "I'm about to lose a friend." "I'm just a dead girl, ain't even mad though." "Drag my feet like a zombie now, do I freak you out?" "First you're on top of the world and then that world just ended." "You think you're driving down the highway, but then you're in the trenches." "Butterflies are kinda nice I guess, but my tummy hurts." "Screw feelings, I don't want 'em anymore." "One second I'm on fire then I'm bored." "Scared of the day it hits me, a baseball bat to my heart." "You are everywhere, like wallpaper in my mind." "I need to take you down quick before you take me out." "I knew you'd rip me apart." "I gave you the knife and let you carve, but then you had to leave me in the dark." "If I had a glow stick strong enough, you know I would use it, but I don't." "I'm too heavy, can't you see I take us both down?" "I'm too heavy, you should've let go of me." "Glass would shatter if we touched." "When we fall back into real life, the only thing we got is our bodies." "You're the only thing that's steady when the world just gets too heavy." "When the tide comes in, we're left with nothing." "Bring their body bags 'cause that's where they want you." "They take their bites, just like piranhas." "We turn our backs, they're talking trash right there behind us." "They'll do anything at all to fill the silence." "Stepping on us to make you tall, do you know that's what makes you small?" "I know that you can hear the crowds outside your window, tapping on the glass." "Hush now, don't you cry." "If the roof caves in while you sleep tonight, I'm gonna sing you a lullaby." "I don't wanna do this, I don't wanna lose you." "I just wanna hold tight like we got no future." "Gotta catch lightning, you know it won't happen twice." "Wish I could cut and paste this right here a couple hundred times, 'cause you're a storyline you know I could get behind." "Wish I could save this game before we lose a life." "I wanna cut and paste these stars, throw them in every sky. " "If history repeats, you know we will last the night." "I wish that it was enough for me." "Close your eyes and I'll be just fine." "Somehow, some way, some day, I will find you."