#end joke

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[christadeguchi]

i'll let phie-san say it:

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[t4tails]

theres so much happening here

[vaultnewt]

NO MATTER WHERE I HIDE MY DONUT FRYER NICK ALWAYS FINDS IT AND USES IT

I'M SO SICK OF HIM

HOW?!!?!?

NICK. NICK STOP MAKING DONUTS PLEASE NICK WE NEED TO BREAK INTO THE INSTITUTE AND GET MY SON NICK PLEA

~~~

UPDATE: he finally got his donuts :]

[filmloversociety]

In Barbie (2023), directed by Greta Gerwig, Ken says he wants to spend the night with Barbie because they're boyfriend and girlfriend and when she asks him "to do what?", he replies "I'm actually not sure". This is a perfect analogy to kids playing with Barbie dolls, as they know that couples "do things" but are too young to know exactly what. In this essay I will

[chloesimaginationthings]

Five nights at Chiitan’s is the scariest game ever..

[cali]

i hate motherfuckers who base their whole personality on the sum experience of their formative years + the people they mostly interact with + some key impactful events in life + a small amount of traits they were just born with + their current interests and some other stuff probably. so fucking annoying...

[drenched-in-sunlight]

i love the DLC man

[crescentfool]

december 31st but i make it silly (based on a tumblr post, below the cut!)

everyone say thank you xenia, i made adjustments for the december 31st context but nyx avatar is still fitting.

original draft of the last panel. i considered putting the bi flag but i didn't know how to squeeze it in. we love ryoji mochizuki in this house.

[pockethep]

[xamitra-art]

For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process

[drac0line1nn1t]

*Logan coming into the living room and stretching after waking up*

*Wade walking in groggily and staring at Logan*

Logan: My eyes are up here bub.

Wade: Yeah, but your tits are down here.

[snotbuggle]

Poor Mom does not have the time for this conversation right now, and Omega could’ve sworn that everyone in Star Wars was supposed to lose their hand at one point in time.

[cryptocism]

sometimes the joke going over your head can really work out

[xoxoladyaz]

Steve, who is born into a long line of shifters, but unlike the magnificent creatures his parents and grandparents before him became when they turned, he turns into an ordinary house cat.

Steve, who is an embarrassment to the Harrington name amongst the secretive society of shifters and so is essentially abandoned in Hawkins to fend for himself.

Steve, who is deeply ashamed that his shifting animal is a fucking cat until he meets a Demogorgon and then suddenly, being a cat - aka, the perfect bear trap bait - is the best animal he could have asked Magick to become.

Steve, who quickly becomes the Party's self-appointed emotional support person (cough cough, cat) and makes sure that he checks on his kids and is there to provide snuggles when needed.

Steve, who is really nervous about his kids starting high school - especially El and Will - and who sneaks his way into the school when he's not working and hides out in the drama room.

Steve, who is caught off guard when he bumps into Eddie Munson in his cat form, and then keeps bumping into Eddie Munson in his cat form, and pretty soon he can't keep pretending like it's not intentional but he likes listening to the guy when they're both hiding out in the drama room, and it doesn't hurt that he has excellent hands that give excellent tummy rubs -

Steve, who is present at the kids' first Hellfire Club meeting, and who is caught off guard by the disdain in Eddie Munson's voice when he talks about "King Steve."

Steve, who hops onto the game table, makes eye contact with Eddie Munson, and shoves his DM screen onto the floor with a loud crash.

Steve, who spends the rest of that session (and the next) on Jeff's lap, because Jeff's tummy rubs are pretty damn good and Jeff has only ever had nice things to say about Steve Harrington. (Take that, Eddie.)

(Eddie, who pouts the entire time and shows up at their third session with some catnip toys and an apology, even though he really doesn't understand why he has to apologize to this cat about Steve Harrington or why his new sheepies think this whole thing is hilarious.)