#ended up giving her cat ears & unsure if that helped but i think it looks cute regardless. had other accessories I wanted to add but forgot

[captialluke]

Festival Mirage, inspired by Anoxthon :^)

[marbl3z]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Maybe I've Fallen for you. . .

Lyney + GN!reader || modern au ;; romantic Fluff || summary :: You and Lyney stop by an Apple orchard that also grows pumpkins, there's a little festival going on for the Autumn season, Lyney is unsure what he's feeling for you... maybe he finally fell for you.

"so..." he starts, flicking a card through his fingers. "I've never been to one of these before, what should I expect?" He leans on your shoulder, the bumpy road on the bus makes the two of you rock a bit.

"hmm~ probably a lot of things, Ive only been to one when I was younger." You grab a card from his sleeve, attempting to flick it through your own fingers.

"is it fun?"

"I remember it being fun but to be honest, I was a child. So who knows?" You laugh a bit, glancing down at Lyney. "You look cold," you mumble, pulling his beanie over his ears. The tip of his nose dusted pink from the chill in the air.

"it is almost winter." He scrunches his face as he flicks his violet eyes up to meet yours. He studies your face as you turn back to look out the window.

strange... he thinks to himself, the back of his neck feels hot, luckily his hoodie covers his nape.

The bus comes to stop and you glance at your phone, "it's our stop, Lyney." You stand grabbing your backpack. Lyney does the same, following you out of the bus.

The pleasant chill of autumn passes through your frame, Lyney scrunches his face bringing his hands to his face to heat them up. He glances over at you, a gentle shiver goes through your spine. You glance down at your phone before grabbing his sleeve and continues to walk down a path, soon small wooden signs that say things such as "Apple Orchard - Harvesting." And cute pumpkin and apple wooden signs with a man sitting at the entrance, welcoming everyone who walks in.

"Ah, Good evening!" His face creases as he smiles nodding to you and Lyney. Lyney gives a small wave with a friendly smile as you also smile. "Enjoy your time!" He calls as you two past the decorated entrance.

"what do you think so far?" You glance at the blonde man next to you, the gentle crunch of leaves beneath your feet and the sounds of children laughing and screaming ahead of you fills your heart with joy.

"it seems fun, I've never been to something like this. I'm sure Lynette and Freminet would love going to a place like this..." he trails off, sending a text to them showing them pictures and even video calling them at one point.

You two are at the pumpkin patch, picking out pumpkins for your friends and his siblings. You pick up a small white one, Lyney is at another end of the patch, on the phone with Lynette. You decide not to disturb him but you put it in the basket they provided.

Lyney is showing Lynette all the apples you two picked along with some ciders to try and sweets the orchard sells, collaborating with small businesses.

"Lyney," Lynette starts, her voice is hoarse and wobbly. She has a cold and that's why she couldn't join you two, Ferminet decided to stay with her to help her feel better. "You know, when will you show your true feelings?" She sips her tea.

"Haha.. what could you mean, my dear sister?" He smiles as he glances over at you picking pumpkins.

"that." She deadpans, setting her cup down. She pulls her blanket further up her lap, she was wearing the sweater you got her before you two left for the harvest. "Looking at them like that,"

"like what?" He blushes, adverting his gaze as he turns away from the patch going up to one of the many makeshift shops. Lynette rolls her eyes. Lyney gets a hot chocolate from the lady working at the shop.

"you like them, don't you?" Lynette watches as Lyney coughs on his hot chocolate, burning his tongue. "Perhaps you're in love?"

"Not so loud, Lynette!" He whines, sticking his tongue out to cool off. You took notice of him coughing and quickly hurried over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"hey.." he turns to you, his tongue still sticking out like a cats. "Are you alright?— oh hello, Lynette!" You smile waving to his phone.

"Hello," she sips her tea, stifling a giggle as Lyney sends a soft glare at his sister.

"Oh! I'm okay.. just burnt myself on the drink... I wasn't expecting it to be so hot!" He smiles embarrassingly, "how was your adventure picking pumpkins?" He notices you have three small pumpkins in your basket.

"it was good, I haven't found any good big ones to carve with everyone yet... I found one for everyone else though!" You mumble the last part in his ear, wanting to surprise Lynette when you two are home.

He blushes faintly underneath his beanie as your breath tickles his ear. Lynette rolls her eyes, snuggling under her blanket more. He nods sending you a knowing glance and a thumbs up.

"Also! Lyney, I heard there was a haunted house attraction we can go through!" You grin.

"what??" His eyes widen, taken back from your suggestion. "Don't tell me.. you wanna go through it?"

"why not? Lynette said you liked attractions like them!" Lyney gives Lynette a glare, Lynette smiles.

"... I, I mean.." he sighs, not wanting to disappoint you. "We can go if you want," he pretends to be excited.

"really?!" You smile excitedly, your eyes basically sparkling. He nods, dreading as you take him by the hand to the haunted house.

Lynette gives Lyney a wink before hanging up the video call. He blushes as he follows your lead to the over exaggerated haunted house, he sighs of relief... it doesn't look that scary. Yet your smile never seems to fade, he squeezes your hand as you two talk with the employees of the house, before walking in.

Cliche scary music plays, it's dark and he only knows your there by the squeeze of your hand. Suddenly a loud noise makes him jump and basically cling onto you. A zombie actor jumps out in front of you two, making him release a high pitched yelp. You scream too, but it was replaced with laughter and it was a game of clinging onto each other as the actors continued to jump out and make loud noises.

by time the two of you are out of the house, Lyney is holding your arm. His cheeks are flushed and his heart is racing. "That was terrifying..." he breathes out, you lead him to a bench nearby. He sends a quick text to Lynette, presumably one along the lines of "I hate you so much" in a loving way.

You smile as you notice the way he acts with his siblings, it's endearing. You catch your breath checking the time, "do you want to go pick out the giant pumpkins?" You lean over his shoulder, he shivers slightly turning to face you. The red streak in his hair looks out of place and his hair is messy.

You raise your hand to move his hair out of his eyes, faint blush is visible along his cheeks. He blinks a few times, the temporary tear tattoo on his cheek looks cracked. A faint smile tugs at your lips, despite the cold weather he made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

He takes notice of the sweets shop behind you, an idea sparking in his head as he laughs, "do you want to go try the sweets they are selling? I'm intrigued by the 'Autumn's Delight'..." he smiles, still holding your hand.

You nod, coming to a stand, you two walk to the small shop. The lady operating the shop smiles as she notices you two holding hands, you look like a couple. Lyney orders the autumn delight and you order simple donut holes with pumpkin spice and cinnamon sprinkled on them.

You two go back to the bench you were sitting before, you offer one of your donuts holes to lyney and he opens his mouth as if asking you to feed him. It was a wholesome sight, honestly. The faint blush on his cheeks, his lips are red from the chill, you almost hold yourself back from doing something that may change the coarse of you and his friendship.

You smile, bringing the pumpkin spiced donuts to his lips. He takes a bite and his eyes basically sparkle from how the flavors melt on his tongue. "You did a wonderful job choosing, darl—" he stops the sentence short, pushing back the urge to call you an endearing petname. He takes a bite of the crepe he bought, it was covered with powder sugar, drizzled chocolate and cinnamon with slices of apples inside.

A huge smile grows on his face, savoring the sweetness of the crepe. He notices your looking at your phone in your lap, texting someone. He immediately turns his head, not wanting to read your messages.

"do you wanna try mine?" He says adverting his gaze from your phone, holding up the crepe to your face.

"sure!" You smile, taking a small bite of the crepe, your eyes swirl with stars and sparkles as you hum, kicking your feet back and forth. "That's so good Lyney!!" You smile, he notices a bit of powder sugar on your cheek and his eyes soften as he uses his thumb to wipe it away.

You and him blush as he turns away, the tips of his ears burning from how close he got with you. "S-sorry! You had sugar on your face.." he mumbles continuing to eat the dessert.

You blink a few times before you respond, "it's alright, thank you," he nods his head shyly. A soft ding emits from your phone which makes you both jump. "Lynette said Freminet wanted to know if we were having fun" you mumble showing him the text.

"Tell them we are! And to be prepared for when we come home" he grins, he eyes sparkling. You nod sending Lynette a quick text In which she responds by sending a cat with it's thumbs up.

"ahh, we should get going, hm?" He sighs, finishing his crepe. He stands helping you up, you carry the pumpkins to the bus stop, after picking out some trinkets and other goodies for everyone at home.

"today was fun," you yawned, holding the pumpkins close to your chest. Lyney sat down next to you on the bus, his violet eyes softened at the sight of how sleepy you were.

"it was very fun, thank you for taking me," he bumps his forehead against yours, it was a silly thing you two started doing, you both saw a cat doing it to another cat and it stuck ever since. "I had a lot of fun," he purrs.

You smile tiredly, leaning your head against his shoulder, he rested his arm on your shoulder as he texted Lynette and scrolled through social media. The soft rumbling of the bus as it made it's way back to home kept you close to him. He twirls your hair through his fingers, holding back the urge to brush them away and give you a gentle kiss. Your eyes were closed and you looked so comfy at his side.

The bus pulls to the stop, he gently shakes you awake. You groggily carry two pumpkins and Lyney carries the other two. Stepping out of the large vehicle to the cold air sends a shiver down both of your spines, a soft "Brrr" noise comes from both of you. You quickly make your way to Lyney's home, you were spending the night so it didn't matter how you stayed.

Lynette opened the door as you two hurried inside and walked to the dining table, both of your hands were crisp and cold. You placed the pumpkins and your bag down and ran over to Lyney to place your cold hands on his face.

"AH!" he squeals like a girl, his eyes widen as you giggle chasing Lynette to do the same. Lynette runs up the stairs and you don't chase her, Lyney comes up behind you and places his hands underneath your shirt at the base of your neck.

"EE—!" you jump watching as Lyney laughs and rubs his hands together, something in you churns. Your heart flutters as you grab his hands, placing him over your mouth and you breathe, rubbing them gently.

His laughter calms and he looks at you with curious eyes as you warm his hands up. If it wasn't for the cold his face would've been ten times more red. You hear Freminet come down the stairs.

"Oh, you're back..." he gives you a soft smile and you let go of Lyney's hands.

"OH! We have gifts!" You basically jump up and down as you slide off your hoodie, now wearing the thin sweater you stole from Lyney. Freminet and Lynette follow you to the dining table as Lyney stays behind.

He has a smile on his face as he recalls what you did, "Lyney?" Lynette calls.

"Oh, sorry! I'll be right here! Lemme go warm up," He gives her a convincing smile and climbs up the stairs. His slides his beanie off, his normally styled blonde hair, askew and messy. He throws it on his bed as he walks to the bathroom.

He looks at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were flushed and his nose was dusted red. He looked silly, and it made him smile. He can hear your laughter downstairs and he feels warm and fuzzy inside.

His eyes flutter close as he turns the light off, opening once more as he realizes the flutter in his heart from hearing your laughter, wasn't because you two were such good friends... it was perhaps something he wasn't used too,

Maybe it was love.

--

RAAHHH I'LL MAKE A PART TWO MAYBE, PROBABLY—

[oneirophobic]

MESMERIZED - m. sturniolo ( ★ )

part of the 'summer fun' series

summary : you think water is such a beautiful thing, you know what matt thinks is a beautiful thing?

warnings : [ IMPLIED FEM!READER ] anxiety, mentions of depression, coping mechanisms, water, strong mother-daughter relationship, mentions of feet, reader wears a bikini, horrible dad joke, cat calling, no use of y/n, not proofread well

a/n : thanks for two hundred followers! (you guys got pranked so hard lol) sorry for not posting fics, i've been busy. this fic also has significance to me, i struggle with my mental health and use water to cope. if you're struggling yourself, do not be afraid to reach out to me, my dms are always open.

ever since i was a baby, i was fond of the water, a water baby my mom would say. she'd sit me in between her legs in the shallow end of a lake we camped alongside. the water brushing against my small, fragile hips; releasing sweet giggles from me as i splashed the water onto her inked thighs. i'd fall asleep there in between her legs, eventually being dazed by the tiny fish that swam nibbling at her feet and the way her tattoos distorted under the ripples.

even when we were away from the lake, i'd refuse to get out of the tub until the tiny pads of my fingers looked like the raisins i had as a snack earlier. crying and pleading for her to let me stay in there although i hadn't been able to form a singular word properly. she'd give in and sit with me outside the bathtub with her steamy romance novels in hand, looking up between paragraphs at the smile on my face as i splashed around with an assortment of rubber ducks.

as i grew older, my mom would let me swim at the end of the dock with her by my side, my tiny torso just above the rippling water. i'd dunk myself into the water, watching the minnows nibble at my tiny feet through the lenses of my goggles. giggling as i stuck my head back up, facing my mom with sparks in my eyes, "it tickles, mommy!"

by the time i was in middle school, i had unfortunately developed anxiety. i'd skip school because i grew so physically sick, staying in bed all day, crying uncontrollably. my mom had to stop by the school on those days on her way home from work, giving me a saddened look as she handed me the papers. i'd do them in a blur, my eyes swollen and stinging from my tears.

on one of those days, i had to take a shower, my hair was a greasy knotted mess. my mom helped me detangle it, being gentle as she worked her way to the top of my head. i hesitated before stripping off my three day old clothes, not daring to look at my bare reflection.

i slid into the lukewarm water, standing there for a minute. i felt all the stress being rinsed from my body. i lowered myself to the shower floor and sat there until the water ran cold. i began showering every day, before and after school. the way it felt against my skin made me feel comforted within seconds.

years later, i still use that coping mechanism. i began to learn to control my anxiety, thanks to matt. matt and i got close near the end of junior year, we sat next to each other in math class; always helping each other.

this one specific day, i had been cat called by a group of boys and was absolutely terrified that it was going to happen again. i began overthinking: "are my jeans too tight? can you see my bra through my shirt? am i wearing too much makeup?"

the algebraic equations being written on the board quickly became irrelevant, my breathing was picking up and my throat was closing. matt noticed the increase in my breathing pattern, quickly turning to me as he saw the tears brimming in my eyes. he quickly grabbed ahold of my hand and began rubbing soothing circles along the back of my hand. i squeezed his hand out of fear, shaking slightly.

he leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear, "i'm right here with you, copy my breathing." i turned to look at him, unsure of what was going on. "trust me," he mouthed, looking at my tear filled eyes. i nodded beginning to copy his breathing as we both faced the teacher as if we were paying attention.

i almost had my breathing under control, when the teacher told us to work with our partners, the class broke out into a jumble of murmurs almost instantly. matt slid his water bottle to me, "drink some, please." i grabbed bottle and began taking sips, matt watched carefully as i began to relax. "t-thank you," i stuttered, still shaking as i let go of his hand.

"yeah, of course," he said, examining my bouncing leg, "come here." matt opened his arms to me, ushering me into them, i hesitated before wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. matt drew comforting shapes on my back as i breathed in his scent of vanilla, silently thanking him over and over.

after that moment, we became closer. he let me come over and spend the night with him and his brothers, just sitting around talking. we were just friends though, we'd share strictly platonic touches aside from the times we both started leaning in and someone waltzed in or one of us chickened out.

before homecoming of senior year, he'd finally ask me to be his girlfriend. making those touches romantic and closing the distance between our lips. we practically clung to each other, refusing to leave the other behind.

i had the lot that i had spent all my childhood in under my name now, my mom too focused on work to come up here anymore. i didn't have to share the trailer with my mom anymore, not being banished to the small pull out couch when we did.

i didn't like being up there alone, hearing the loud pitter patter of the rain against the metal roof gave me a sense of unease, only having my pillow to latch onto. i decided to bring the triplets out here, and they loved it.

they loved when i took them driving along the winding curves of the roads and to little shops. matt stealing chris' usual spot in the front seat to be close to me, which chris surprisingly allowed with zero hesitation.

every morning i'd wake matt up to go swimming with me while the lake was calm and nobody was disrupting the fish swimming below. he always agreed, throwing on our swimsuits while trying not to wake up nic and chris, it was our thing.

as soon as we crept out of the trailer, i took a moment to admire the sunrise and breathe in the fresh, dewy air that was destined to be filled with smoke by sunset from the campfires around the park. matt snuck his hand into mine and walked me down the dock, he always let me dip in first to see how cold it is from the night before. it was always relatively cold, it cooled down a lot at night after high temperatures and the blistering sun. despite the temperature, he always got used to it if it meant spending time with me.

we drifted to the drop off, avoiding the sharp shells that inhabited the lake years prior, the water slowly swallowing our bodies. i stopped as soon as it reached my belly button and dove down, savoring the feeling. i came up for air and turned to matt, looking at him with a big smile as the water rippled at his presence around his waist like a hula hoop. "come on, dunk in!" i said, laughing as i shook my shoulders in the water.

matt rolled his eyes before taking a deep breath and falling onto his back and gliding over to me. i smiled as i admired how silky his hair looked under the water. he came up and shook his hair like a dog on me, "matt!" i giggled. he stopped his movements and pressed a kiss to my sunkissed nose.

i turned to look at the horizon and let out a sigh, "i love this, i love the water." matt began chuckling at his own thought, "well, i am about 60% water." i gave him a weird look and laughed, "yeah, i guess i love you too, dingus," i said, sarcastically rolling my eyes.

i took another moment to watch the seagulls diving into the water to bring food back to their families when i felt a familiar feeling at my feet. i looked down to see the minnows nibbling at my feet and shins, making my giggle with a huge smile on my face.

i felt matt's eyes drilling into me, i looked over at him to see he had the dopiest grin on him face. "what's your major malfunction?" i laughed, drifting towards him. he grabbed at the waistline of my bikini, pulling me closer.

"i think i'm more mesmerized by you than you are by the water."

TAGLIST : @dwntwn-strnlo @crvptidsmain @stvrni0lo @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @ssturniolo @iha8you @lollibumblebee

[dalgikiss]

I called for you but you did not come // t. kuroo

index

VII: addicted to the desperation

The princess looks out of place in the middle of the countryside, with her silk kimono and the gold decorations that adorn her hair and ears. She slides off her horse with help from one of her servants, and Kuroo immediately bows. 

Her sharp gray eyes do not miss the small camp set further behind him, across the hill. Kuroo keeps his head down and hopes his cat charm does not fall out from under his sleeve. 

“You may stand”

He straightens and she takes a step forward, black slippers making clouds of dust billow behind her. Kuroo swallows, golden eyes never straying from her gray ones. 

“My father,” she begins, and Kuroo grips the hilt of his sword, “My father has found out about the rebellion”

Kuroo freezes. The Princess scans his face, before continuing on. “He plans to make a move to stop the rebellion within three days' time. It will be hard for me to convince him to spare your life, should he find out you were working with them”

“Kuroo,” Your eyes are bright, hands full of fresh fruit, “Do you want to eat this with me?”

The Princess’s face has been carefully crafted into a poker face. “He currently suspects you with working with the rebels, although he is unable to confirm it”

“Kuroo, stop trying to bother Kenma!” Your laugh is sweeter than the birds that sing in the trees, sunshine filtering through the leaves. 

Kuroo holds his breath, unable to bring himself to meet the princess’s gaze. She continues on, her sharp gray eyes watching the way his knuckles grow whiter with every minute that passes, “He has asked me for my opinion, but I have not provided one, under the guise of needing some time to think.”

“I see,” Kuroo’s voice is barely but a whisper, “And what is it that you have concluded?”

“I have concluded that this group of bandits & misfits have become something special to you”

He swallows, unsure of what to say or do. 

The Princess continues on, taking his silence as a cue to continue speaking, “However, I have a proposition for you. I will do my best to mislead my father and keep your good graces with him, as well as give the commoners a chance to run. In return-“

Kuroo thinks his lungs may have just collapsed, the world dizzy under his feet as the Princess’s unforgiving gray eyes bore into his soul. 

“We must get married”

x.

Kuroo thinks he may have found heaven and it came in the form of your lips (Like he’s mentioned before, he’s a complete and total romantic). 

“Five more minutes,” He pleads with you, arms refusing to go from your waist, “Just five and I promise I will let you go without another hitch in the road.

You snort, struggling to get his arms away from you, although your efforts were in vain. Damn athletes, you were seriously contemplating beginning to work out after hanging out with Kuroo so much. “Yeah right, you’ve been saying that for the past 10 minutes. Kuroo, let go or you’re going to be late for practice!”

“I’m the team captain, practice doesn’t start until I walk in”

“You mean until Coach Nekotama walks in,” You correct him before admitting your defeat, sinking back down onto the bench and Kuroo grins wildly. Kenma, on the other side of Kuroo, merely rolls his eyes at the way Kuroo visibly perked up when you resigned before saving his game and putting it away. 

“I’m going to practice,” He announces, slinging his bag onto his shoulder. He takes a few steps forward before glancing back over his shoulder, piercing eyes staring Kuroo down, “I’ll be sure to tell Coach the reason why you could not be on time for practice was because you were too busy seducing a girl. Maybe he’ll make you do suicides until you puke, and [name] can watch and laugh at you”.

Kuroo blanches at Kenma’s threat, he knew all too well Kenma wasn’t joking. He scrambles to get up, hastily throwing his stuff into his bag before pressing his lips onto yours, a chaste goodbye and a promise to text you as soon as practice ends whispered against your lips before he rushes over to Kenma’s side.

You watch their figures disappear into thee gymnasium before bringing your fingers up towards your lips, gently tracing over them. 

You twisted your lips, reminiscing over Kenma’s words. Seducing a girl? As though you were just another girl Kuroo had set his sights on? Never mind the fact that you and Kuroo had never quite actually spoken about what the confession had meant for your relationship, if you could even call it that. 

As though to spur your anxious thoughts even more, Hime seemingly appears out of nowhere. 

“You know, only crazy stalkers sit by the gymnasium when the volleyball practice starts. I would have never taken you for one of them!” 

Your skin prickles at the sound of her sickeningly sweet voice. You clear your throat, matching the exaggerated polite smile on her face. 

“I suppose you would know, perhaps we’re much more alike than I’d like to admit”

She narrows her eyes, her smile being replaced with a scowl. You stand, brushing your skirt free from any dust. 

“It was nice seeing you again. Have fun with your stalker activities, I’m quite sure Kuroo would love to have another reason for you to stay as far away from him as possible.” You swing your bag over your shoulder, letting your shoes billow up clouds of dust in your wake. You can’t help but feel satisfied at the thought of Hime’s frustrated expression, but the smile that graces your face slides off within seconds, instead being replaced with something that feels heavy in the pit of your stomach when Hime yells something behind you.

“Don’t go thinking you’re special just because you kissed Kuroo. He hasn’t made you his girlfriend, so he’s still single!”

[steam-powered-chaos]

Chapter 3 (Frozen Storm)

Helio stood up sharply from where he was crouched, staring at his terrified catch. The mer was big, tall, a strong looking fellow, with scars covering his body and the hook wound in his tail haphazardly bandaged up, as the ship landed at the swarming, busy dock. He gave the mer a gentle pat, ignoring his growl of protest, giving a backwards glance at the uneaten fish leaning on the side, as he left the cabin boy to watch him, although Helio severely doubted that the mer would be going anywhere anytime soon. He paused as he walked past a bottle of whisky, but stopped himself, reasoning that the figure would hold up its end of the deal soon, surely, walking out onto the main deck and examining the dock. Cornelius let out a soft hoot, circling down to land on his shoulder, the little owl pecking gently at his ear lobe.

”That capture seems to have cheered you right up Captain! Ready to head down to the market?” Sunny called up to him, waving. She was smiling, properly for once, the first time he had seen her smile like that in the past few months, and Helio couldn’t help but smile back at her warmly, jumping down from his place near the wheel and nodding. Cornelius perched on the railing, tilting his head as he gave the bird a gentle stroke, landing roughly on the dock as his boots clacked menacingly towards the dockmaster, the ferrety young woman seeming to shrink under the pirate’s gaze as his eyes flicked to the wanted poster with his face plastered on it, and back at her again, silently placing a gold coin on the deskbook before turning away, his beloved pet and Sunny in tow. He paused outside a coat shop, admiring a dark red coat, before hearing a familiar meaw at his feet, looking down at the little black and white cat.

He leaned down slightly, to give Nana a few gentle pets, before freezing, immediately realising that if Nana was here, then so was… “…Helio?” Orion spoke up from behind him, and he slowly stood, turning around to face his former husband. Helio winced slightly, upon seeing the scar that marked Orion’s cheek from where he had cut into him, and Orion only gave him a cold look, Nana wrapping around the smaller man’s legs and purring. Helio wanted to burst into tears, run and hug him, kiss him as if everything that had happened between them was all just one terrible dream, but couldn’t move, as Helio gave him a silent, observing look with those pink eyes that no longer held any of their former warmth for him, not anymore. “….You’re looking well..” Helio began, unsure what else to say other than a simple comment on his appearance, despite the scar, and the silver in his hair. Was that because of me? He wondered briefly, a glimmer of hope sparking in Helio, that perhaps Orion missed him just as much as he did.

“…That’s all?” Orion scoffed, “I ‘look well’, do I? I can see the way you’re looking at me, my hair. My scar. Don’t try to kid me Frostheart, I know you want the old, perfect little Orion back!” He mocked, his words piercing like eye into Helio, rendering him lost for words, before he was taken by a deep surge of rage. “Don’t tell me how I think-“ he started to move forward, before Sunny grabbed his arm to stop him, as Orion seemed to shift his weight, hand dangling just above his cutlass. “…Fuck off Helio, I don’t want to see you again. And if I do, I want it to be your head on a plate.” And with that, Orion stalked away, but not before throwing a box of hair dye at Helio’s chest, disappearing into the market with Nana following close behind.

Tears pinpricked at Orion’s eyes, shaking them away as he struggled to harden his heart, to match his former husbands, for they were now enemies.

[schlagerkopf]

Ableben

On paper, I’m supposed to despise Naftaly Bennett, very much so. But I don’t. I think he’s a solid dude. His external look gives me some kind of chill vibe. He’s got that Cheshire cat look. He’s the type of person I want to dance with, soaked in sweat, in a wedding or a big event.

Maybe it’s not Bennett I should despise, but his manager – the genius who came up with the elections slogan “Something new is happening”. This insanely transmittable slogan that showed on buses and other random places I’ve been and went these last few months has kept reminding me that terrible moment in which I was given the bad news that “something new is happening”.

It happened today exactly one year ago. Friday night, 15th of June 2012. I was 26, two months and four days. Lying on my bed, my old N95 phone from 2007 was stuck to my left ear. My airconditioner was making noises of working, hardly making anything cool – I wasn’t cool in any way, not the situation, not me. On the Friday night news in the living room, my parents were watching the panelists laughing about something, while I was slowly dying in my sinking bed. The room was lit only by the hour on the digital counter on the TV cable transmitter – eternalizing the hour in which love died. I won’t be 100% true if I will argue it is exactly what she said – “something new is happening”. Maybe it was “something is beginning”. Her stream of words continued without pause, her voice sounding as if she is a little unsure, trying not to hurt – but knowing how much it hurts, how much pain it brings about.

“He’s not sleazy, he’s really sweet”.

And then started my elegant pleas for another chance:

“I love you”

“Give love another chance”

“Please”

And the likes.

That also had a pretty built-in response, that was pretty much based around “too little, too late”.

“It’s over Amir, you do not hear how many ‘No’s’ I’m giving you in this conversation”.

Then: “Good luck in the exams”.

That’s it. Alles ist vorbei. I’m left alone, shocked, crying like a baby with my old ass phone, while everyone’s already got smartphone, and she’s probably going to kiss him and do other deeds that I will never ever do again with her in this dimension.

She tapped that long red thingy on iPhones to end the convo. For me it was a simple “END” button. And when they were hit, that’s it, it was over. One year and ten months. 18 months overall. 547 days. And that’s it. A little button is pressed, a little dance of a finger, and we turn from actuality to history. A notable part of two people’s lives has ended. One, as it seems, only wants to forget it. The other, good god, a 26 year old and 4 months man, crying like a baby.

  Yeshayahu Leibowitz was an Israeli public intellectual who said interesting things. On one show in 1994 he was asked if he missed old Israeli politicians, from the age of those who built up and founded Israel. He answered with his special accent that hints he was not born in Israel himself, that he does not understand the question.

“I do not understand the question. What does it mean to miss a person?”

The person who asked the question tried to sharpen, resulting in Leibowitz simply saying:

“All of these – they were right for their hour. And we are dealing in this hour”.

I watched this some sad evening and it lifted me up immensely. Here’s a role model. What is it to miss someone, at all? What good does it do? It helps nothing, it’s not constructive. What was once, was. What matters is now.

If Leibowitz indeed didn’t miss anyone, he was a superhero of sorts, and the strongest one. Superman can fly, yeah, sure, but doesn’t he miss someone? And Spiderman? Doesn’t Batman miss his parents?

Missing is my kryptonite. It makes me weak. Especially when I am in my bed, full of memories and so empty, and especially if it happens in a late-night hour.

Missing is a sort of alchemy. It’s not something real, existing, it’s not something you can touch or smell. Mine is the worst kind of longing. It’s for something that was but isn’t. I believe the Portuguese call it “Saudade”. You can miss your friend but you know you’ll see them next week. And you can miss your lover, knowing you’ll never see them again.

  It’s hard to write about breakups. I wrote her a letter two weeks after the breakup. It was six pages and I’ve included some chocolate and a flower. It didn’t help. Because writing about breakups is futile, in a sense.

It’s hard to write about breakups because seemingly there isn’t much to say. I mean, yeah, ok, there is, but what will I say? It’s a paradox seeing that I’m in the midst of writing a long piece about breakups. It also doesn’t go with the fact that if it weren’t for breakups, most music we would be listening to nowadays would be instrumental. So, let’s agree that there’s a lot to say about breakups but at the same time there isn’t – life is complicated like that. I can say that I am hurting so much but how will I transmit this pain to you, the reader? The longing, the pain, the regret, the heaviness on the chest at 2am, when you wake up from a dream where she still loves you, and you realize reality is here and she doesn’t anymore. She used to, a lot, but no anymore. No more “good morning” text messages.

And what can you say anyway? “Time heals”. “Many fish in the sea”. I spent all of summer 2012 depressed in my room, what a waste. Sleeping on the pillow she bought me for my 25th birthday. A 90s boombox she once found and gifted me on a random morning where we said goodbye with a kiss, five months before she dropped the bomb on me – if to quote the Gap Band.

On the morning of June 5th 2012, after she spent the night over at my place, we just kissed and she got into her car and left to work. It was just another goodbye. How was I to know it was the last one ever? That it’s the last time I ever see her? The last time I see her in a world where she loves me? In a world, in a galaxy, where she has love for me in her loving heart? I thought about this moment for so long, about our last kiss – not knowing it is our last kiss. Maybe she knew already? Just a kiss and she left. I was clueless. Like I always am.

  In university, I studied about Martin Heidegger the philosopher. The professor talked about a word in German named “Ableben”. Like many others in Deutsch, it has many meanings, one of them is “Came to an end.

I see the word as the following: “An idea that came to an end. An idea that died. The idea that was between her and me, love, has come to an end. Suddenly, one side decided it is over, and the other side must deal with that.

And that’s something I learnt about breakups in the sad year that I had since she said the words that ended up meaning “it’s over”. Breakups are TOTAL. That is why they are so hard to accept, why it’s so hard to let go. If you don’t accept the breakup you’re not in tune with reality. But reality doesn’t ask you. It’s a madness, like The Stranglers called it in their song “La Folie”. It’s crazy to think and cry about someone all the time, dedicating all that brain power to someone who, maybe on a good day, dedicates you two neurons. Why don’t you do something better with your time? It’s like dancing on a grave.

And here is the realness of “Ableben”. It’s not like somebody died. It’s an idea that died. It’s so abstract. No more good morning and night texts. No more emails that come in the right time in the middle of the day, filling you with love and hope. No more I love you’s, no more kisses and hugs. This all came to its bitter sad end at a certain moment.

I thought a lot about the moment in which love dies. I understand it’s a long process, stopping to love someone who you love dearly. You don’t stop loving in one second. But it feels like it’s some epiphany, some inner switch that you go to sleep loving Amir and you wake up not loving Amir anymore. And it’s so hard for me to fathom how you can stop loving someone you’ve shared so much with, that you were such close friends and lovers.

And it’s crazier that I lover her still, as I write these lines. Of course, not as strongly as I loved her last year, but I still love her. I’ll always love her, even if I don’t know who she is right now, she’s changed. I can feel closer to the woman in the grocery shop than her. And even though I am mad at her and understand that breakups exist and it’s part of life. I still can’t understand how you do that to someone who you call a friend. I stopped caring about the singing of the birds in the morning, and that’s the greatest loss.

And the memories, my my, the memories. They keep playing. It’s like self-torture. Some streets I won’t dare walk through in Tel-Aviv. The bench from August 2010 here we kissed on our first date. When something new was happening and nothing was ending. I still miss her and who she is and what we were. Our long hugs every time we met. And I regret my actions that led her to another’s arms. And still I bite my lips whenever I pass by that garden where we shared our first kiss and look at the empty bench and grass and try to understand that feeling that is so amorphic, knowing that something is dead and that something else, new, has begun, and that new thing is the most beautiful thing in the world but you’re not part of it, you’re dead in the water; for me the new thing died, and I continue staring at the “Game Over” screen.

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Day 7

Pairing: Sydney x Pol (kinda actually Syd x reverse harem crusaders lol)

Prompt: Distraction

Description: Faced with the city of Cairo, the city where Dio lay waiting for the Crusaders to find him, Sydney can't help but find herself distracted by him. Feeling more than a little confused and scared, she act's a little more rashly than she might normally against an enemy stand user.

Rating: sfw

Content Warnings: reserve harem (mostly implied in this one), self insert, ask to tag

Notes: First off happy march 24th. im just a little late. Secondly HAPPY SELF INSERT FOR ME WHOO! The stand I mention in this, Love Club, is my little kitty cat! She's just a little kitty that has an aoe that makes people like/eventually fall in love with her user. thus the harem. Anyways be nice to me this is based off a like 40k plus self insert fic that I'm not even done with. Self care <3

“We’re… finally here.” Polnareff’s statement hardly made it past the blood rushing in my ears. Just gazing upon the city where Dio lay hidden had my anxiety acting up. I felt weightless but pinned in place, unsure what to say or do in the wake of the moment.

“Sydney?” Avdol’s voice barely catches my attention. Half-heartedly, I turn his way, barely managing to shake the strange look off my face.

“Hm?” I don’t think I can find my words just yet, but I try to give him my attention none the less. Still, I can’t help but think back to Dio. What was he doing right now? Could he tell that we were here? That I was once again in Cairo? And… did the effects of Love Club still linger on him?

“You… look tense.” I try again to focus on him, study the frown on his face and the concern showing in his eyes. I can see Polnareff looking my way next to him; even Jotaro and Mr. Joestar send me worried glances.

“Sorry,” The word falls out of my mouth with a puff of a sigh, and I find my self frowning softly and looking away from their warm concern. “I’m just… distracted, is all. Thinking about Dio, how I got into this mess… how it might end for me.” I confess, twirling the ends of my hair to try and alleviate my nerves.

“Hey,” Polnareff takes a step towards me, his large chest filling my view until I look up into worried blue eyes. “I know it must be scary, coming back here. But… you’re not the same lady who Dio took off the streets.” He places his large hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze. “And this time you’re not alone, either.” He smiles, bright and big, just for me. I can’t help but offer a little one back, thankful for his comfort even if I can’t escape the thoughts plaguing me.

“Right. I have all you guys.” My gaze leaves Polnareff, back to the expanse of Cairo before me. “But um… I’m sorry. I actually don’t remember how to get to where Dio is. I would recognize it if I saw it for sure but…” I deflate a little.

“You don’t remember?” Mr. Joestar gawks.

“W-well I mean!” I stammer. “It was dark when he lead me there… and when I managed to escape I was so scared I…” I shake my head, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter.” I force a heavy breath out. “Can’t you just use Hermit Purple to gain insight on his location anyways?” I pointedly turn away from him, frowning as I’m again reminded of the day I left the villa. When I ran away from Dio…

“I suppose so…” Mr. Joestar mutters. “Let’s find somewhere to relax, then. Maybe gain some information we can work with.”

“There’s a few bars close by.” Avdol supplies. “This way.” I happily follow his lead, choosing to take the rear and again mull in my thoughts. I’m a little surprised as Jotaro keeps pace with me, and speaks.

“Hey,” he begins. Just loud enough for me to hear, but not enough for the trio ahead of us to take notice. “You sure you’re okay?”

“It’s nice of you to worry Jojo.” I smile as we walk briskly. “I’m ready for our battles ahead, though. Even if it means facing Dio… I’m scared, but it can’t be avoided.” I admit. All too soon, we’re upon an open bar on the outskirts of the city. I watch our friends ask the patrons if they’ve seen the mansion.

“Just remember this isn’t your battle to face alone. We’ve all got a score to settle with Dio.” Jotaro gives me a look I can’t quite read, before giving me a little nod and going to join the others in asking around the bar.

I choose to hang back, waiting instead on the outside of the establishment. I bristle when I feel something rub against my leg, but look and find it’s merely my own stand. “Love Club,” I laugh softly at her affection. “This is where you’ve been, huh?” I smile softly when I see another cat round the corner and trot up to us. “Oh I see you’ve made a friend!” I kneel down to meet the new kitty, and let her give my hand a little sniff. It’s obvious she’s been with Love Club for a bit, however, because the cat warmly rubs against my hand.

“Thank you for finding my cat, miss.” I freeze as I hear a mans voice. I look up and see a man sitting at a nearby table. I stand as the cat leaves me in favor of greeting her owner.

“It was no problem,” I stand quickly, not expecting anyone to have talked to me. I awkwardly look down to Love Club, watching her watch this new person. “I think she just got along well with my cat…” I look to my friends for escape, seeing them still trying to finagle information from the bartender.

“You know, I know where the villa is.” He says plainly. My eyes widen as I turn my gaze back to him. It flicks between him and my friends, before landing on him once more. I take a few hesitant steps his way.

“...If you work for Dio, then you know who I am.” I say plainly, frowning softly. “What do you want? Why would you give me that information?” I try to remain calm as I taken him in. If he had a stand meant for battle, he would have attacked us already, right?

“Ah ah, nothing is for free in this world, my dear.” He merely grins as I take a few more steps towards him, until I’m standing by his small table. “I much prefer a gamble. You could win, I could win.” He hums, shuffling his cards idly. We’re finally noticed by the rest of my group, who crowd around behind me and take in his man.

“Cherie, is everything alright?” Polnareff stands closest to me, nearly in front of me as if to shield me from this man.

“I was just telling your friend here I might have some information that may be of use to you all.” I can feel the collective intrigue that hits the party. “But I won’t give out such information for free.”

“What’s your price?” Mr. Joestar asks, more than ready to pay whatever he may need.

“No price, sir. I’ll only share my information if the lady agrees to a game of chance with me.”

“Why Sydney?” Avdol is at my other side now, frown on his face. Before the man before us can even think to respond, I speak.

“I’ll do it.”

[heyhoneyybunn]

No Promises

Relationship: Mafia!Kuroo Tetsuro x f!Reader

Synopsis: In which you steal from the wrong guy.

Warnings: fluff, profanity, lil more suggestive than usual, mention of a weapon, reader has a child

Word count: 2.6k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Bonus | Bonus 2 |

The plan had been executed many times before, it was simple; wear your best dress, adopt a flirty attitude, find your prey and then finally make your move. He, however was a slight deviation from the plan. The devilishly handsome man who sat alone at the bar, dressed in a fancy shirt with sleeves rolled to the elbow, his messy hair falling over his face immediately captured the attention of many around the room. Your fingers itched to pull the strands back and admire his full beauty.

You knew his type – rich, powerful, dangerous. You also knew that it was better to stay away from them, you didn’t have the luxury of becoming messed up in any criminal business ever since you had your son Katsu. You had been placed on the back-burner as you tried to make enough money for your darling son to have a normal life. So, you sat at the other end of the bar – as far from him as possible – one leg crossed over the other to expose more skin, a drink in hand as you observed the room subtly.

There was a younger man who looked to be in his late twenties with eyes bigger than his stomach, eyeing up the rest of the room even though he had a beautiful woman on his arm – he had potential.

Then there was the old man from across the room that kept sending you creepy smiles between sips of his fifth drink – definitely not your type.

Sighing quietly into your drink, you couldn’t afford another unsuccessful night – that much was known. There had to be a way to make it work.

“What’s making a pretty girl like you so upset?”

Oh, if only you knew. You looked up to the owner of the deep voice, eyes resting on the mysteriously attractive stranger from before. It was beginning to look like he was your only option. To make tonight a success you would have to befriend him and then make your move. Little did you know you were a little mouse trying to pull the wool over the eyes of a cat.

“Just tired of being lonely,” you pouted before downing your drink in one go. The glass clattered to the table as you turned to give him your full attention.

“Maybe I can help with that.”

Without objection you allowed him to pull you up and lead you to the floor. He grabbed your waist and swayed you gently to the soft jazz playing throughout the shabby establishment.

“Do you dance with all of the girls you pursue?” You asked cheekily, bringing your arms up to lock around his neck – trapping him within your embrace.

“Only the special ones,” he winked before smoothly pushing you off and spinning you under his arm. He dipped you and leaned close, the tips of your noses just touching, his warm breath caressed your face as you planted a small kiss on his cheek, coaxing a name from him.

“Kuroo. What’s your name?” He asked, slightly breathless.

“Call me Sugar.”

With eyebrows raised he said nothing in regard to your alias. The swaying resumed as he paraded you around the whole dance floor.

“Come home with me Sugar.”

Usually this was an invitation you’d decline but there was something in his air that drew you to him, it made you want to rub up against him like a cat. You pretended to think it through, to be unsure of his invitation, “That’s a bad idea,” you said with faux innocence.

“I can keep you company tonight,” he whispered in your ear, salaciously sinful thoughts swayed your decision as you replied, “Okay.”

With hand in his, he led you away to a more private place as he made you his.

…

“Ten thousand? That’s it? I know this is worth at least 50 thousand!” You exclaimed to the pawnbroker who was trying to rip you off.

“Listen, I’ll give you fifteen thousand, take it or leave it, I don’t care.”

The overwhelming urge to throttle her to wipe the smug look off her face had to be stomped down. All of the broke customers of this pawn shop were trying to make instant cash and she knew exactly how to take advantage of them.

“Fine,” you relented, handing over the precious watch you had stolen from your last night fling. Swiping it from the dresser in your rush to leave, it was physically painful to pry yourself from his arms and not stay to admire his beauty as he snored away, hugging a pillow to his chest as if it were you.

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

She handed you the money and you slipped it securely into your purse. Grabbing your son’s hand you led him to the milkshake place down the street, your previous anger melting away at his cheers of joy.

At the booth sipping on your chocolate milkshake, Katsu eagerly babbled on about his school as you nodded in interest.

“Mama, why do you always shout at the lady in there?” He asked curiously, looking up at you with his shining doe eyes.

“Because my darling…” you paused trying to think of something to say, “She always steals my money.”

He pouted into his glass, “Is that why we still don’t have a house yet?”

You could hear the cracking of your heart at his despondent tone, “Well, she’s a big setback I suppose.” Without her eating away at your profits, you would have at least half of the funds to start looking into buying a place for the both of you.

“But what brought this on?” You tucked him into your side, stroking his hair with fond ruffles.

“I just miss you,” he said burying his face into your arm as he held onto you tighter.

“Don’t worry okay? You only have to stay with grandma a little longer and then we can finally be together in our new house,” you assured him.

Katsu peaked up, “Can we stay near a play park?”

“Of course we can!”

With spirits lifted, he then rambled on about his ideas for your future. The colours he would paint the house, the number of TV’s that would be in each room. You smiled into his hair as you peered out the window and you could almost see it – a stable household for him with you to look after him.

When you broke out of your reverie you saw a head of messy black hair out in the streets, with one blink, he was gone.

…

Another day, another job. With Katsu back at his grandmothers it was time to go out again. There was no chance that you’d make the same type of money as your last job but whatever you made, no matter how little, contributed to the house fund. Sighing, your eyes flickered open, the flood of light making your face scrunch as you sat up, a disoriented mess.

With eyes fully adjusted and a burning face, you jumped, scrambling to the other side of the room, grabbing your dressing gown to hide the skimpy pyjamas you usually wore. Before you was a smirking Kuroo, the man you couldn’t stop thinking about from the other night.

“Nice sleep Y/n?”

Shit he knew your name, which was expected since he was also standing in your bedroom. Inching closer to the door you said nothing. Eyes assessing his every detail, you noticed the watch you had taken the other night sat prettily on his wrist, glinting under the daylight, his eyebrow rose as he caught your line of sight. You shuddered to think of what happened to the stubborn old hag at the pawn shop.

“Do you steal from all of the guys you sleep with?”

“Only the special ones.”

“I’m flattered,” he said as he toured your room, pausing at the frame on your dressing table, “Whose this?”

He held the picture of you and Katsu at the park, he was bundled in your arms as you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Just a nephew,” you said cautiously, carefully avoiding his probing stare.

He said nothing as he continued to sweep through your belongings, when he reached a drawer that you pleaded for him to leave alone. As his hand gripped the nob you couldn’t help but shout, “Not that drawer!”

You wanted to kick yourself. With piqued interest he gazed down at you, another smirk pulling at the corner of his lips – he was enjoying this.

“What are you hiding, something inappropriate I hope,” he opened it anyway, drowning your protests out as he tutted, “and I was right.”

The cabinet was filled with stolen items, some still valuable that had yet to be sold, others completely worthless and gathering dust as they sat there unused.

“Just how many people have you stolen from,” he inquired, stepping closer to you. Within touching distance, he pulled you by your chin to face him.

“A lot.”

His thumb stroked your bottom lip as he spoke, “Poor souls. Who could resist a vixen like you.”

“What do you want from me?” You demanded, yanking yourself out of his grip to hide your flustered expression.

“Do you know who I am yet?”

Confusion washed over as you tried to fit the pieces together. Kuroo, Kuroo, Kuroo Tetsuro? And suddenly it all clicked, the fancy suits, expensive apartment, powerful aura. He was the leader of Nekoma.

“You’ve figured it out,” he praised, “I want you to work for me.”

A laugh bubbled out your throat so powerful your head tipped back to let the sound out, “I don’t think so.”

He waited patiently for you to finish, “You owe me.”

You shrugged confidently as you tried to hide the nervous tremor in your leg, “I refuse to get swept up in that dangerous world of criminals.”

“You’re a criminal too,” he pointed out.

“I only steal from the sleazy, evil or the rich. Half the time they deserve it, the other times they don’t even notice cause they’re loaded.”

“I need your skills,” he tried again, buttering you up with words of flattery.

You put your foot down, preparing for a nasty fight, “Find someone else.”

To your surprise he backed down with pursed lips, “If you change your mind you can find me in the Nekoma Corporation building in Nerima City.”

With those final words he left, allowing you to let out a shaky breath. It was time for you to leave again.

…

It had been a month, a whole month of laying low and staying on the run. Stealing every night and selling the same day as you tried to stay afloat, paying for constant new clothes and cheap derelict motels. What hurt most was not being able to see your son, the only way you had been in contact was through a burner phone that you only used for a measly two minutes before getting rid of it.

Paranoia crawled up your skin consuming you slowly but surely, the constant looking over your shoulder made you fatigued, the startling jump of your heart every time you saw a head of messy dark hair with encapsulating hazel eyes set you even more on edge.

Picking up your new phone you lifted it to your ear as you impatiently waited for the call to go through.

“Mama?” You called out.

“Y/n?! Oh thank god! Katsu’s missing, he’s not come home from school since yesterday,” her frantic tone cause panic to burst in your chest.

Your heart raced as your grip tightened, the sound of cheap plastic crushing crackled through the receiver, “I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you, he’s with me.” You schooled your voice into one of calm firmness.

She breathed a sigh of relief as you flurried through a quick goodbye and chucked the phone at the ground, pieces shattered decorating the pavement in sharp fragments.

Your mind was filled with rage as you strode purposefully to a taxi, chucking a wad of cash that would be more than enough for the overall journey.

“Take me to Nekoma Corporations in Nerima City.”

…

Stalking to the elevator, the pleads of the receptionist behind you drowned out as you left them behind. Pressing the button for the top floor, the presidential office, your foot tapped against the ground as you checked your possession of the small blade hidden under your jacket, you held the bag filled with money in your hand tightly as the doors finally opened.

You walked up to the entrance of the suite casually, giving the guards a look, they said nothing as they stepped aside granting you full access to the office. Pushing through the doors, you were greeted by a desolate living room as you shouted into the empty air, “Kuroo Tetsuro where the fuck are you?”

Busting through all of the possible rooms, hope burst in your chest as you approached the last set of doors. To your utter surprise you found Katsu sitting in the boss’ chair, engaging happily as Kuroo explained something to him. He didn’t appear to be scared – he looked at ease, as if he were at home waiting for you to join him to watch a movie like you did every Sunday.

At your grand entrance, they both turned as you dropped the large duffel at your side. The other men in the room stood to attention, hands on their weapons as you burned holes into Kuroo’s new suit.

“I knew you’d show up, eventually,” he smirked as you tried to calm the seething expression that would surely scare Katsu.

“I’m not here for you,” you spat, “Give me Katsu.”

“Hold on,” he stopped you, “You still owe me.”

You threw the duffel at him which – to your disappointment – he caught with ease. Slowly he unzipped it and sighed, “I don’t want your money.”

“And I don’t want to work for you for the rest of my life,” you countered.

“Then, do one job for me.”

“And then you’ll disappear?”

“No promises.”

Your gaze narrowed on him as he looked unapologetically cocky.

Sighing you finally relented, “One job.”

He turned to your son, helping him off the chair as you held your breath – surprised at his gentle handling.

“Okay Katsu, you can go see mama now.”

“Mamaaaaaa,” The little boy shouted as he took off running, flinging himself into your arms as you caught him easily. You smothered kisses all over his face as he giggled into the affection.

“My darling, were you okay here? Did they hurt you at all?” You cupped his face, firing off question after question, not yet ready to let him go. From the edge of your vision you could see Kuroo step forwards but you pointedly ignored him.

He shook his head vehemently, “We got ice cream today! And then daddy watched Ponyo with me!”

Your eyes flickered to Kuroo’s sheepish smile as you managed to splutter out, “Is that so?”

He nodded his head, “Daddy also said that we don’t need to worry about buying a house anymore and that we can just stay here! Isn’t that great?”

You patted his head gently as you forced a smile on your face, “That’s great news. Katsu do you want to go and watch some TV? I have some words for your ‘daddy.’”

He zoomed off as you addressed all of the guards in the room, “Watch him.”

After the soft click of the door sounded, finally it was you and him alone. Kuroo gulped, his nervous laughter ringing out as he backed up into his desk, you hard on his tail. With nowhere to escape, you tugged on his tie bringing him down to your level, “You’re in big trouble.”

[bonny-kookoo]

Delicate (JJK x Reader) 🐾💜☁️🔞

🧶Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🧶Genre: hybrid!AU, Tsundere (slightly), Fluff, a bit of Angst, smut

🧶Warnings: Jungkook is a brat, Catboy!Jungkook, He basically hates everyone but his kitten, HUman! Reader, Wet dream, masturbation, big dick! Kook but whats new, Sweet reader, Spanking (and not on her butt if you know what I mean), Rough handjob (fem. Rec), doggy style, Desperate koo, overstimulation, forced orgasm, multiple orgasm, slightly angsty moment, but nothing bad lol, confessions, basically owner/Hybrid to lovers lol

🧶Summary: Jungkook does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Changing for you might be harder than he initially thought- but maybe he doesn't even need to. Maybe you'll love him just for who he actually is.

Jungkook was a maine coon hybrid. He's been at the shelter for years now, adopted just to be returned a week later, every time. He's got serious additude problems, thinks way too highly of himself, is just overall too much to handle. He knows that. But that doesn't mean he wants to change.

No, he actually actively decides to be a dick. Simply irritating others is like some sort of game for him, feeding his ego to no ends whenever someone gives up on him. It's like he's winning.

Jungkook loves winning.

It all however, changes as soon as he spots you. You're small, and not in a sense of short- no, you actually look like a doll to him. So delicate, so adorable, Jungkook can't help but stare with wide, green cateyes. His pupils are contracted as if you're too bringt for them to handle, yet its only the amount of sudden emotions that's making them look like that. As soon as you turn around, spotting him, smiling at him, they widen like the moon itself; making the cat-hybrid next to him wave a hand in front of his face, since he completely blocked out the fact that the older hybrid was talking to him. He irritatedly swishes his hand away, ears now perked up as his fluffy tail twitches every second or so. He can hear your voice, soft and sweet, and he's whipped already.

Jungkook wants you.

He stands up suddenly, completely dismissing the hybrid that he'd conversed with earlier, as he walks over to you, who's standing in front of another area filled with dog hybrids. He scrunches his nose in disgust; you don't need one of those mutts, you need him. He stops a footstep away from you, and the worker sighes as you look up at the hybrid. "Oh, thats Jungkook-" he explains. "He's one of our problem cases, so I wouldn't really reccomend him for you." He explains, and Jungkooks brows furrow. Who the fuck does he think he is, calling him a problem case? He knows its true, but that doesn't mean he can just say that out loud to anyone, especially not you. How's he supposed to gain your trust now?

You smile, now visibly a little intimitated. Jungkook knows why, knows that his physique is pretty much yelling strength and confidence. He suddenly gets an idea, and decides to try it out. No hurt in playing around a little.

So he lets his ears droop, and slowly walks back towards the corner of the room, simply sitting down there before flopping to his side, huffing out a breath as if exhausted. He hoped it works, otherwise he's pulling this stunt without reason, making a fool of himself for nothing. But it seems as if it works, slowly, because he can spot your now slightly worried eyes watching him as the worker leads you along, to meet some other dog hybrids. He knows he's got you. He just has to wait.

Jungkook loves taking naps.

And this time, it helped time pass by easily, as he suddenly smells your fabric softener again, as he can hear the worker try and talk you out of it. He can feel you behind him as he'd rolled around on his spot to face the wall, and he visibly shudders as your hand touches his tail. He turns around slowly, tired eyes spotting you squatting down close to his back, as he sits up. He looks at you curiously, and you suddenly smile, leaning your head slightly to the side, your earrings dangling prettily from your ears as he can't look away. You're even prettier up close and personal like this. "So, you're Jungkook?" You ask, and he forgets to answer for a moment, nods after he notices the awkward silence, as he blushes. You giggle, and sit down properly, obviously intending to get to know him more.

Good.

He sits properly as well, not saying anything, as you ask away. "They said you're quite the troublemaker." You amusedly state, and Jungkook suddenly has the urge to roll his eyes. He doesn't however, knowing all his acting would've been for nothing if he slipped now. So he simply looks down, his ears slightly bend backwards as he scratches his neck. "But I think you're just a bit rough around the edges." You explain, and his eyes move, looking at you as you continue. "Like a diamond, you know? They need to be handled carefully, and then they turn into the prettiest things." You say, and he already decides he loves your voice. He carefully answers.

"You think so?"

He can see the surprise in your face, it's to be expected. His tone doesn't fit his current act at all, but he can't change that. But you smile, nodding, and he internally sighs at that, at the fact that you simply accepted that. "Look-" You suddenly say, pulling out your phone and showing him a balcony, with pretty flowers blooming. You swipe, and it shows what he assumes is your apartment. It's small, he notices, but for some reason it looks more inviting than any place he'd ever been to. It looks cozy, well taken care of, and a tad bit unruled; it looks like a home. His eyes sparkle with actual genuine interest. "We could put some blankets here, the sun shines there nicely throughout the day, so you could take some awesome naps there-" You explain, and his ears perk into your direction at that. "Oh, and during the summer you can always stay on the balcony- its really nice there when its hot you know? The cool breeze is nice." You say, and suddenly notice how he's looking at you, expecting something. "I mean-" You stutter suddenly, locking your phone and growing a bit shy at him being so close to you. You have to admit; he's really handsome. "Only if you want to come with me, that is." You ask, and he suddenly nods.

Jungkook would love to come home with you.

That was a year ago, and your home slowly became his own home as well, more perfect than those photos could ever convey.

As you walk around the apartment, he notices how you carry some of your own stuff into another room- smaller than the original bedroom. At his confused glance, you scratch the back of your neck, right where he knows your scent is strongest, and he gets the urge to bury his nose into the spot. "Oh! I just uhm.. last night you slept in front of my door, so I thought you may want to change rooms? You're bigger than me, so you need more space, i think?" You say, and he shakes his head with a soft smile, walking up to you and stopping you in your tracks.

"N-No.. Actually, I wanted to ask you something." He wonders, now not looking at you anymore, as you look up at his eyes. "I uhm.." He starts, swallowing some saliva to finally get the words out. "I was wondering if I could sleep in your room."

Its quiet for a moment, and he grows anxious at this, thinking that he had just overstepped some boundary he didn't know of yet. "Like- I mean, I get lonely during the night, and you said once that you need to hug something to sleep well and maybe you could hug me and we would safe costs for heating because two people are warmer than just one and-" He rambles on, and you put your hands on his shoulders, making him shut up in the midst of talking. Your touch does that to him, most of the time. It's like magic, addicting, and he can't help but swallow again, now however not because of fear.

"You should've said something sooner, silly!" You say, reaching up to scratch his ear, which involuntarily makes him purr as he presses against your hand. "Of course you can. Don't worry so much, kookie." You say, and he smiles at this, happy that he was finally closer to you.

Jungkook is such a sweet cat, in your eyes. He's gentle, always so ready to help you with whatever problem you have, lending you a hand with household chores; he's truly the perfect hybrid at your side.

So, so sweet.

Scratch that.

Jungkook was currently eyeing your best friend down, ears pinned back while his fluffy tail was standing tall, agression clear in his entire posture. "Wow, ok. What's with him?" Yoongi asks, unsure on what exactly was going on. Maybe it was Hoesok's scent on him that agitated him? But he couldn't know for sure. Instead of you however, Jungkook answered in his low voice, clearly offended by something. He doesn't klnow why this always happens.

"Don't talk like I'm not here, asshole." He spits out, and your eyes widen. Jungkook was such a sweet guy around you, it was hard to imagine this was actually happening time and time again. He was watching Yoongi with careful eyes, pupils contracted to slits as his greenish eyes pin the older man down with their stare. He's cautious, and you don't quite know about what, until Yoongi makes the mistake of reaching out for you.

Before so much as his fingertips can reach you, Jungkook has already jumped from his spot, shoving the shorter man back with so much force he almost falls into the small coffee table behind him. "Jungkook!" You exclaim scandalized, as he turns around at your tone of voice. Looking at your posture, taking in your scent, he can sense immediately that you're scared, confused, and he hates it. "Apologize." You demand, and Jungkook shakes his head, unwavering, before you sigh out, pointing towards the bedroom door. "Then get inside. And don't come out until I say so." You say, and his ears pin themselves back again, however his shoulders slump down as well, visibly deflating. He's actually sorry now- but it's too late to force himself to apologize to Yoongi; that intruder who's clearly here to claim territory. "Now." You say, and Jungkook suddenly breaks eye contact with you, letting himself be defeated for the first time since he was adopted.

For some reason, your voice hangs heavy on his muscles, heavier than any collar ever hung around his neck.

He hates this. He hates that he has to give up the fight to this complete stranger just because you said so; yet he can't will himself to go against your will. He wants to stay, he wants to be good, but he cant help but grow hostile with another guy in the same apartment as you. It's as if he's giving you up, and that's definitely not what he wants to do. But its ultimately whats happening.

And he hates it.

Jungkook isn't a sweet kitty. He's an untamed tiger, just simply agreeing on living with you, and that has become very apparent these months. He likes to pick on you, and loves to make a mess. There's nothing left of the oh so sweet and caring catboy you adopted a year ago, but it somehow doesn't bother you. You know that he was eager to get out of the shelter, and that he had been pretending for long enough.

This was Jungkooks true nature, and you were okay with that.

He was a bit of a brat, throwing down objects placed by you whenever you weren't home, simply to show you his unhappiness about that fact. He knew that you had to work, but that didn't mean that he liked it.

He also had a major enemy now.

Seokjin across the street, Namjoons prized silver labrador hybrid, or so he calls him. He's handsome, you have to admit, but Jungkook can't see anything visually appealing about the mutt. He hates him with a passion, and its quite possibly because of his very flirty nature, especially towards you. Jungkook wasn't talented in that department, he rather enjoyed picking on you than complimenting you. Compliments got boring after a while. Calling you shorty and watching you struggle to reach the highest shelf would never get old to him, however.

He likes to call Seokjin a rat for his grey features, just to see him get all offended, and he doesn't care much that you always scold him for it. He likes to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he's been testing you long enough to somehow know when the fun is over. He'd never intentionally hurt you, emotionally nor physically, but that doesn't mean he can't pick on you now and then.

Its his own way of showing affection. You just don't quite get it, it seems.

Its when you leave for a late night business gathering to celebrate the company's anniversary that he breaks. He simply pretends to be asleep as he waits for you to leave, simply peeking at your dress though almost closed eyes, and he wishes he didn't do it. Your scent is driving him crazy already, yet you were always careful to cover up around him, seemingly conscious about him and the fact that he is, apart from his cat side, still a young man. He wont ever be able to burn that image of your perfect legs in that perfect little dress out of his mind now that he's seen it. And its the kiss you place on his cheek that pushes him over the edge, makes him struggle to stay composed until he can hear the front door close shut.

He whines out, turning around on the bed as he buries his face into the sheets, into the spot that's usually occupied by your form. It still smells like you; not like you when you try to use perfume, which he hates, but your unmasked smell he absolutely loves. It fills his senses, makes him squirm on the mattress as he turns, bunching the sheets between his legs as he begins to hump into nothing, the friction of the bed sheets enough to rile him up as he bites the pillow your head usually rests on. He can see it in front of him vividly like a dream he's experiencing right in that moment. You, laid out underneath him, his teeth not clamping down on fabric but your delicate skin, making such wonderful noises as he takes you like the good and sweet girl you are for him. How enticingly you would mewl, arching your back as he guides his leaking cock inside you, stretching you out as his hands would hold you close, keep you upright so you wont just smash onto the mattress onto your face. He curses as he picks up his pace, simple movement not enough anymore as his hand reaches down, frustratingly palming his impatient erection hidden underneath his sweatpants as his dream continues, showing him how you would say his name, breathlessly, as you would look over your shoulder.

Then it shifts, as his mind is suddenly focusing on your face. Would you be into giving him head? Oh god, if you would, he knows he wouldn't be able to last; with your innocent eyes, kneeled in front of him, so eagerly taking his cock he couldn't help but cum inside your throat. And he knows you would be such a good kitten, you would swallow him down prettily, and he would praise you so good. "Hnng, fuck..!" He exclaims, as he writhes on top of the sheets, messing everything up, but he doesn't care.

He never really thought about that weird missionary position humans liked, but he could actually see the appeal of it, if he was doing it with you. To be able to see every change of your features, how your soft lips would part in pleasure as he fills you up like you should be, oh it would be a sight for him to see. His eyes squeeze shut as he turns his head, groaning loudly as he almost sobs brokenly into the pillow, feeling his release stain the fabric of his sweats uncomfortably. But he doesn't care, as he sniffles, breathing heavily before he chuckles.

"Fuck, I'm pathetic."

Can hybrids outgrow their owners?

It certainly feels like it. Jungkook has been growing more and more distant to you, and you feel as if its your own fault. You must've done something wrong, you assume, as he distances himself more and more not only from you, but everyone else as well. He doesn't pick up a fight with Seokjin anymore, hell, he even let Yoongi inside yesterday. And you try to push back your tears as you walk inside the living room, where he's currently sitting, watching the window, tail lazily swaying softly. Maybe the apartment really was too small for him- you've head your neighborly lady complain recently about that when she saw him through the window. Maybe you weren't the right person for him.

"Jungkookie?" You carefully ask, as you see his tail twitch, a sign that he noticed you. "We need to talk." You start, and he gets up, ready to leave the room.

"Well I don't want to though, your bad." He responds, and you reach for his hand, as he whips his head around, ready to bite an answer out, but he spots something in your gaze that makes him stop in his tracks.

"We need to.. I can't- I can't make that decision for you, we need to talk about where you wanna go." His brows furrow as he tries to figure out what you're implying, a weird feeling in his gut telling him that it's something he wont like at all. "I want you to be happy, even if its not with me kookie." You sigh out, and he connects the dots, suddenly realizing what you're saying.

"Ho- wait no no-" His eyes widen, and you look at him as he shakes his head at you, suddenly defensive. "You want to give me away?!" He barks out, bushy tail behind him angrily whipping from one side to the other. "I don't want to! You said this is my home, you can't make me leave!" He spits at you, and you grow confused.

"But-" You start. "You've been so uncomfortable around me Kook, it's okay if you don't want to live with me anymore, really. Namjoon said that sometimes Hybrids outgrow their owners-" You say, but Jungkooks eyes glint angrily.

"Namjoon doesn't know shit!" He yells, and you shut up at that. "I don't want to go, I won't ever go!" He finalizes, and you are on your last leg. He's completely confusing you at this point.

"Then tell me what I'm supposed to do! You're clearly not comfortable around me anymore, what am I supposed to do?!" You yell back, voice by far not as strong as his, but it riles him up enough that he snaps.

"There's nothing you can do about my fucking hormones giving me wet dreams about you like a teenager!" He says, and your eyes widen, making his ears grow red in shame. "There, I said it. Want me to spell it out? I want to fuck you, there you go!" He says, throwing his hands in the air for good measure as he breathes heavily, giving both of you a moment to process his confession. He suddenly grows more quiet, more calm, his voice in no way as harsh and loud as before. "No.. no that's not right." He admits, and comes to conclusion that its now or never. "I want to hold you at night like a lover does, not just a hybrid and his owner. I want you to see me as a partner, not just as a pet." he states, gaze falling downwards as his ears flop to the sides, tail unmoving behind him.

"I never saw you as just a pet, Koo." You say, and he perks up at that, as you walk closer to him, hugging him closely, as he stands a bit awkwardly, before deciding to hug you back. "I didn't want to take advantage of you." You say, and he grows hopeful.

"Does that mean you.. like me like that?" He asks, and you nod into his chest.

Making him grin like an idiot.

Its after this moment that things slowly change a bit. He's still picking on you whenever he can, but he's also being awfully suggestive ever since your talk. Its like he wants to know what runs your gears more clearly these days, as he's making sure to flaunt his post workout body every now and then just to see you turn red at the sight.

He loves how he makes you shy.

Its you however, who breaks him first.

The day he can't keep his hands off of you is the day the spider in your shower decided to jump down on you, scaring the life out of your body as you screach in horror, fleeing the scene in nothing but a towel as you safe yourself into the bedroom, where Jungkook had been taking a nap before hearing your scream. He's ready to laugh at you, until he notices the towel barely hanging onto what you hold against your chest, skin still slightly damp as only your hair is still dry. He can't help himself anymore. "Hm.. how about I get your mind off of that scary little insect?" He humms from behind you, and you open your mouth to retort a snappy remark, but you don't get that far.

He's already behind you, his legs placing themselves next to yours on the bed as he hooks his own over yours, spreading your legs for him as he takes the bits of towel out of your hands, making it fall to the sides, revealing your body to him, at last. He can't help but lick his lips at the sight he gets from over your shoulder, purring loudly as he licks at your neck, finally getting a taste of you; and it's energizing, like a drug, making a shiver run through his spine as his tail twitches behind him in pleasure. You gasp out loud as he bites down, hand reaching between your legs to move his middle and ring finger inside your already wettening center, making him groan. "So ready.." He muses, loving the sounds you make, as he obnoxious noise of squelching from the wettness between your legs with every movement of his fingers fills the room. You struggle to close your legs at the sensation, but he doesn't let you; instead gently hitting your cunt as if to put you back into place, while he groans. "Bad girl. This is mine, isn't it?" He asks, and you can't answer for a moment. "This-" He says, his hand forcefully coming down onto your pussy again, as you squeal from it. "Is mine, isn't it?" He asks again, and you nod over and over again, making him smile. "That's right. And I do what I want with it." He says, before he pumps his fingers in and out at a relentless pace, uncaring of the mess he's making as you squirm and mewl in his lap. He loves this, loves how the sounds he imagined you making can't ever compare to what he's currently hearing. He has to take you.

He removes his hand, undressing himself impatiently as he turns you over for him, behind presented to him as he licks his lips again. "So pretty." He praises, and pumps his length once, twice, before he enters your smooth center, already feeling as if he's in heaven. "I promise I-" He starts, but has to moan out as you clench around him particularly hard. "I promise I'll be gentle next time-" He says, before his palms find your breasts, kneading them in his palms as he kisses along your spine. "But I need you." He whines out, making you huff out a breath as you look over your shoulder, just like he imagined. "Fuck!" He presses out, skin against skin one of the many sounds apart from your heavy breathing and shared sounds of pleasure inside the room, spider long forgotten as you suddenly arch your back into him. "My kitten's gonna cum? Hm?" He asks, and a cute moan is all he gets- all he needs, as you try to get up a bit more, making him push your neck into the pillows below, careful to let you breath as your cheek is what meets the fabric below, his other hand brushing away your hair lovingly, so that he can watch you come undone. "So sweet, so submissive.." He humms out, as he dips down, your back against his chest as he kisses underneath your earlobe, amusement clear in his voice. "Such a cute little whore for me, my sweetest princess, so beautiful.." He praises, and you moan out obscenely as you come, his pace never stopping once. "You're gonna have to-" He says, moving more desperately now to reach his own peak. "You're gonna have to take it baby." He presses out, holding your hips as he forces them onto him with more strength, making you whine in overstimulation. "Almost there- there we go-" He exclaims, uncaringly rubbing your clit between your legs as you shiver violently underneath him, second orgasm hitting you so quickly that your body can't seem to prepare itself as you feel wetness escape you, making him groan loudly. "What a good girl, look at that- ah!" He exclaims, pushing himself as deep as he can as you feel him spurt his load inside you, finally stopping, finally calming down.

"Jungkook?" You ask out of breath, as he simply holds you close, still buried inside of you, falling to the side as he buries his nose in between the crook of your neck.

"Hmm.. no, lets stay like that.." He humms sleepily, and you simply close your eyes, agreeing to his statement.

Jungkook is not a sweet cat- but he certainly has his moments.

"Kitten?" He asks, as he notices you being weirdly quiet next to him on the couch, now noticing the tears on your cheeks. "You're such a crybaby!" He laughs, as he wipes away your tears with his sweater sleeve, making you pout.

"Not fair." You mumble out, and he simply chuckles, placing a kiss ontop of your nose.

[eddswrold-fandicc]

TordMatt × Reader Smut

You twirled the skirt and admired yourself in the mirror. Hmm. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

Buying lingerie and sexy outfits was like a new hobby to you. You now have a small collection of lingerie, collars, socks, and other revealing outfits.

But this one- the newest to the collection- was a maid outfit that came with cat ears.

It came with a tail as well, but you weren't ready for that yet. So it was set aside for the future.

You smiled and fluffed the poofy skirt. You liked the way your body fit in it. It showed your curves and brought out the thickness in your thighs and breasts.

The knee-high socks also helped with that, but you haven't put them on yet.

Which sounded like a good idea. You opened the second drawer to your dresser and looked through your sock collection.

Lace? No. Ribbons? No. See through? Also no.

Your mind clicked when you found a pair of plain black socks. They were perfect to complete your outfit. You sat down at the edge of your bed and slid them up your legs. They clung onto the chubbiness in your legs, and made them profound.

You did another look in the mirror before snapping a photo to capture the moment. Every time you dressed up like this, you usually took a photo to save the moment.

Playing with your hair and looking through the few photos you took, your head snapped up as you heard your bedroom door click.

"Hey, Y/N, have you seen my- OH MY GOSH!"

A familiar ginger haired boy ran over to you, circling you and looking at the outfit you displayed.

"M-Matt!"

"Look at you! You look so cute!" He grabbed onto your face and squeezed it, mushing your cheeks.

Wow, could this get any worse?

Matt started exploding with questions. Questions like: Where did this come from? Do they have one in my size? Is there a tail with the cat ears? They're cat ears, right?

All while questioning you, he was touching you. Feeling the fabrics and such. Poking at the cat ears in your head.

You stayed silent, completely embarrassed to be standing in front of someone looking like this.

"OMG, Y/N! I can't believe how cute you look! You usually don't try and look homeless with your outfits. This is a great change!"

You sighed, ignoring the comment, "Thanks, Matt."

"Cute, indeed."

You and Matt turned your head to another familiar voice rippling through.

Tord leaned against your door frame, taking a drag from his cigar and blowing the smoke.

Did Matt leave the door open? Oh, God! Everyone in the house is going to know now! And Tord's a bloody perv, oh my gosh!

Thought were racing through your head as you watched Tord fully enter your room.

He slowly circled you, like Matt did, looking you up and down.

"Todd! Doesn't she look so adorable!"

Tord smirked, letting cigar smoke find it's way out of his mouth. The scent filled your room, making you internally groan. You hated the smell, and now it was on your sheets.

"Very."

Matt bounced, grabbing your shoulders, "Y/N, can I have a turn in it?"

Your eyes widened. You couldn't take this off now, not in front of the two. That would be so embarrassing.

You felt something wrap around your neck, snapping at the front and slightly pinching the sensitive skin.

A collar?! You left the damn drawer open, and Tord found that collection.

"Quite the collection, Y/N. I'm impressed." Tord opened your window and threw his cigar out. Good riddance.

"Jesus fucking christ, this can't be happening..." you put your face in the palms of your hands and slightly muttered to yourself.

You were lunged forward, almost colliding into Tord's face. Your faces were inches apart. You could smell the cigar scent running off of him.

"Only it is, my dear."

You noticed one of the leashes you had that came with a collar. It was wrapped around Tord's fist. When did he put it on? Nothing was felt.

"Ah, Tord! Don't be so rough with her. Give me that, you're doing it wrong."

Matt took the leash from Tord's hand, gently tugging you to him.

"I'm not doing it wrong, friend. Just being rough, is all."

You spoke up, "Uh, what's happening?"

"Sounds like Matt wants to have a little contest." Tord crossed his arms and arched a brow.

Matt tugged on the leash a bit harder, "Maybe I do!"

Tord walked back to the entrance of your room, shutting and locking the door.

Oh gosh, this perv was planning something sexual. Why aren't you saying anything to stop it? Why are you obeying them?

You swore it was the power of the outfit taking over your body.

But honestly. You liked the use of the leash and being pulled around between the two men. It felt right for some reason.

"Okay, then. Deal." The two guys standing in your room shook on it.

You were too zoned out to pay attention to what they agreed to. Too zoned out to even notice that Matt dropped the leash, and it was now hanging in front of your legs.

"Come here, Y/N." Tord sat on the bed, motioning for you to sit on his lap.

Instead of immediate action, you stared at him, unsure of what to do.

"Come here, beautiful." Matt sat next to Tord and motioned for you to sit on his lap as well.

You looked between the two, unable to decide. Were you really going to sleep with them? Would it make things awkward?

"Now, Y/N." Tord interrupted your thoughts with a command. He sounded more stern.

You found yourself slowly walking to him, not wanting to disobey. Honestly, with how kinky Tord was, you were scared to disobey him. Who knows what he would do to you.

But on the other hand, you were also curious to see what he would do to you.

So you went to Matt, gently sitting on his lap. You made eye contact with Tord and smirked.

"Good girl, Y/N." Matt wrapped his hands around you, giving you praise.

But Tord glared at you, "Bad girl, Y/N."

He thought for a moment and smirked, "Maybe a punishment is needed."

Matt started to gently kiss your neck and rub your body. The gentle kisses kind of tickled when they reached sensitive places.

"Ack-!" You were tugged back by the leash. It took you by surprise.

You looked up and saw Tord looking down on you, "You'll behave for me."

A slap was placed upon your ass. You jumped and tugged away from Tord, and into Matt's shoulder. He kissed and rubbed at your body as Tord spanked you.

God, the stimulations running through.

Tord had lifted the skirt, revealing the laced thong you were wearing to match your outfit. He delivered another slap.

The bare skin made it sting more as he spanked you again and again.

Matt started to gently take off your maid outfit, kissing your body as more was revealed. You let him slide off the top and skirt, leaving you in your bra and panties. And the socks, of course.

They admired your body, hands running along it. Matt tickled his fingers along your spine while Tord squeezed your thighs.

Each was attacking each side of your neck, leaving soft kisses, rough kisses, and bites.

Matt rubbed your thighs, slowly making his way up. The tip of his finger lightly rubbed the bundle of nerves hiding within the black panties.

Tord wrapped his strong hand around your neck, pulling your head back for a deep, wet kiss. He snaked his tongue into your mouth, dancing with yours. His hands going down to your breasts, giving them a nice squeeze. You reached behind and unclipped your bra, tossing it aside and giving Tord full access.

You softly moaned into Tord's kiss when Matt slipped his hand in your panties, giving skin to skin contact. He played with your clit, rubbing it in circles, while using his other fingers to rub at your wet entrance.

"Somebody's soaked," Matt whispered in your ear, giving you chills.

Matt gently pushed you off his lap so you were standing. He started to slowly slide your panties down, biting his lip and making eye contact.

Tord roughly took charge and ripped them off, then shoved you on the bed. He climbed on top of you, taking his shirt and pants off. You heard Matt's zipper in the background, not breaking eye contact with Tord.

He pushed his body onto you, passionately kissing you again. Matt climbed beside you, gently stroking his length.

Tord trailed passionate kisses down your body, stopping at your vagina. He didn't give you time to think, he just went down on you. He licked and sucked on the swollen bundle of nerves, making you arch your back, biting your finger to keep yourself from moaning.

"It's okay, darling. Don't be scared to make those pretty little noises for us~" Matt held his hard cock in front of your face.

You let Matt put his erection in your mouth, letting it muffle your moaning. Tord rubbed his fingers at your entrance, teasing it for what happens next.

As Matt lightly thrusted in your mouth, Tord roughly fingered you, trying to find that perfect spot. God, the overwhelming pleasure was going to kill you. You wanted them inside you, and to stop teasing.

Once Tord found your spot, you choked and moaned around Matt's dick. He leaned his head back, softly moaning.

You arched your back in pleasure, trying to take more of Matt in your mouth. It felt so good, you didn't want it to end.

But all things had to come to an end. Tord and Matt made eye contact, nodding as if they planned something. They both pulled away from you, leaving you a whimpering mess.

Matt sat you up and on his lap. Your back against him, facing Tord, who was between your legs.

Matt slightly lifted you up, placing you on his cock, and slowly sliding you back down. You softly moaned as you sat and adjusted on Matt.

After a few seconds, he started to slowly thrust into you. You leaned your head back on his shoulder, whimpering and softly moaning for him.

Tord scooted closer, positioning himself at your entrance as well. Matt stopped thrusting and let Tord slowly slide into you.

You groaned and bit your bottom lip. The stretch hurt, but it was more pleasurable than it was painful.

Matt started to rub your abdomen and thighs, comforting you from the blissful pain. His soft touches felt nice, and you wondered how he would be to just cuddle with.

Once Tord was fully in, he grabbed the leash and pulled you forward, into a kiss. This time, it wasn't wet or passionate. It was softer, adorable even. He pulled off, going down to your neck and whispering, "Are you ready, Y/N?"

You nodded, closing your eyes and preparing yourself.

Both males started thrusting at their own pace, throwing you off. Matt was going slow and gentle, but Tord was going a faster, more rough pace.

You grabbed onto Tord's shoulders, moaning so loud, it was almost almost scream. Holy shit, this was new. They both hit different spots inside you, driving you insane.

Matt picked up his pace, but still going gentle. He wrapped his arms around you and played with your breasts while planting soft kisses on your back. You could hear him softly moaning. The shakiness in his moans were cute.

Tord was breathing heavily, giving a few grunts here and there. His thrusts were starting to get sloppy as he reached his peak. He held your legs up, clinging onto them tightly as he reached his climax. He quickly pulled out as he came, groaning and resting his head on your leg. The face he made was hot to you. The way he looked so vulnerable.

You felt Matt tighten his grip around you, pushing his face in your back as his moans became more frequent. The shaky breaths and moans were driving you to your own orgasm. His thrusting became rougher as he moaned louder.

"Gahh, Matt~!" A flood of pleasurable relief flooded your body, all the while making you more sensitive.

Matt thrusted a few more times before spilling his warm cum inside you.

That had caught everyone off guard. You weren't on birth control.

"Dammit, Matt. Why'd you do that?!" Tord barked, obviously pissed.

"S-Sorry! I was too into it and forgot.. I'm so sorry, Y/N." Matt held onto you tightly as he pulled out. Hot cum leaked from you.

"I-It's okay. I'll figure something out." You turned around in Matt's arms and hugged him back. The poor ginger felt so bad, it's almost like he was going to cry.

"Everyone clean up. We'll go to the pharmacy." Tord had already gotten up and was buttoning his pants.

Matt nodded, letting you go and slowly getting up and dressed.

"I'm jumping in the shower." You put on your dirty clothes and went into the bathroom. You were hoping there was Plan-B at the pharmacy.

You got undressed in the bathroom, tossing your dirty clothes aside. You unclipped the leash from the collar and set it aside. Looking at the collar in the mirror, you realize this was the one that you lost the key to.

Meaning it was stuck.

You groaned and jumped in the shower anyways, washing the sweat and cum from your body.

Once out of the warm water, you wrapped yourself in a towel and made your way to Tord's room. Maybe his big brain can pick the lock.

You opened the door slightly, listening to it squeak. You looked for Tord, who was sitting on his bed, on his phone.

"T-Tord.. the collar is stuck."

He looked up from his phone, motioning you into his room. He took one look at you, and then went to his desk.

It was scattered with papers and a few tools.

He opened a drawer and pulled out a tiny screwdriver. You heard the shower running again, assuming I was Matt.

Tord lifted your chin and picked the lock off the collar, letting it release from around your neck. You sighed in relief; thank god you didn't have to go into public with a collar on.

You and Tord heard the shower stop, and saw Matt exiting the bathroom.

"Ready?" He sounded like he had been crying.

You nodded.

"Alright, let's go then." Tord tossed the car keys in the air and let them fall back in his hand.

You and Matt followed behind him outside and into the car, finally going to the pharmacy.

Luckily, they had Plan-B in stock.

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity

Three months, two days and seven hours.

That is how long you’ve been in Dimitrescu castle for. If rumor is to be believed, you are well on your way to setting the year’s record for longest living maid. Well. ‘Maid’, according to their perception. Your mind always automatically corrects it to something more fitting:

Prisoner.  

You did not choose to work for them. You did not choose to be in this godforsaken place, cleaning crimson stains off the floors, trying to convince yourself the wailing that sometimes reaches your ears is simply the wind. You never would have imagined your life’s end like this, serving wine –no, who are you kidding, it’s too crimson for that— to the Dimitrescus at dinner until one of them snaps and drives the nearest blade into your throat.

Probably Daniela.

It’s not unheard of. And stories of other maids’ murders are plenty.

Daniela has bitten one’s throat off for the crime of addressing her wrongly. Cassandra has left increasingly deep gashes, some of which resulted in deaths, for random offenses, like staring at her for too long. Bela, arguably the more merciful of the three, has snapped necks only when the staff disrespected her sisters’ names, or her mother’s.

You aren’t sure if you want to thank the older maids for this information or yell at them for the nightmares it has caused you. You are lucky to not be in the village, they say –everyone there must already be dead. You are even luckier to have been taken from the dungeon by the Lady herself. It means the daughters don’t know you and the castle is big enough that they may never spare you a glance.

You hadn’t believed it, at first.

Yet in the three months of your stay, you have never come across anyone other than Bela in the sections you were assigned to clean and polish. She passed you by the hallway like she did the decorations and the furniture –and you couldn’t be happier about it. You have caught scarce glimpses of Alcina Dimitrescu, too. Never the other two residents.

Not until the fateful day another maid disappears and the staff’s assigned posts change. You have no say in it and no power to object.

May as well keep my head down and continue to work as carefully as I have. That is the idea. Not to look too much, or think too much, or feel too much. Avoid mistakes because those in the castle are fatal.  

It is a little difficult to remain utterly calm when the sound of swarming insects comes from far behind you, though.

Your blood starts to kick in your veins. Your heart wants to jump out of your chest and make a run for it. You lock your muscles down and summon all the willpower you possess to stay focused on your task.

Please be Bela, please, please, be Bela—

The buzzing dies down. Steps approach you in the otherwise silent hallway. They are too light to be Bela’s. You’re probably screwed, you think, but you keep cleaning the surface in front of you until it’s practically a mirror with how it shines.

The steps halt too close to you for comfort. Out of the corner of your eye, you realize they’ve left bloody imprints on the floor you’ve been polishing for hours now. Dainty, pale fingers are wrapped loosely, almost lazily, around a sickle dripping crimson.    

“Never seen you around, before.” the sound of her voice makes you freeze.

You stop and turn— to face none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her hood is down, brunette waves on point, the dried blood at her chin a terrible contrast to her otherwise attractive face. You… didn’t know she was that pretty, up close.

“I… I have been here for three months. On the opposite wing.” you say. Was I even supposed to reply? You’ll find out soon enough, if your tongue is still attached to your body.

Her eyes give you a quick once-over. “Bela’s been keeping you a secret, huh.” she tsks. Her free hand goes to the handle of the door next to you… and only then do you realize it must be her bedroom. You’re literally assigned to clean the wolf’s den. “Come wake me up when the sun has set, completely.” she emphasizes.

What.

“Uh—”

The crimson-dyed sickle moves until its blade rests underneath your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet hers. From this angle, under the pale lighting of dawn, they look more –stunning— blue than inhuman gold. “No loud sounds. No lights. Got it?”

How can you not, when your life depends on it?

“Yes, my lady.” you reply. You don’t even dare draw breath.

“Good.” In one swift movement, the sickle is gone, the handle turned and she’s already shedding her robe.

You catch a glimpse of a black corset and a narrow waist before you avert your eyes.

The door shuts.

...

Waking Cassandra up can be… tricky, the other maids tell you.

She detests light when she opens her eyes but she also doesn’t want it to be pitch black. You’re not supposed to talk but you can’t shake her, either. Which brings you to the very logical question:

“What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”

To which they have no answer.

They have no answer, you realize with a start… because there’s nobody alive to tell the tale of how to actually wake the brunette sleeping beauty up without simultaneously signing their own death sentence.

The hours pass both too slow and too fast. The sun sets over the horizon.

And you stand, riddled with nerves, outside Cassandra’s room.

A deep inhale later, you turn the handle. The door is left half-open so a bit of light comes in from the hallway. Her bedroom smells like shampoo, bath salts and spices. She must have taken a shower before she went to sleep. You approach the figure tucked under the silken sheets of the queen-sized bed…

Cassandra is lying on her side, one hand underneath her pillow, the other extended loosely towards the edge of the mattress. She probably sleeps naked, at least from the waist up, but thankfully the covers are wrapped around her chest. Their royal red color makes a stark contrast against the paleness of her skin.

Her face is so… serene.

She is a monster and a sadistic killer, yet right there you can’t deny she looks more like a renaissance painting.

Now onto the hard part.

“My lady… the sun has set.” you whisper, kneeled on the floor beside her. No movement comes. “Hey… I’m here to wake you up?” you try again. Still nothing. Shakily, you bring your hand up to the bed. Not daring to touch her, you leave it beside hers, over the covers. “Cassandra?”

She turns her face deeper into her pillow –no, no, you don’t think it’s cute, what’s wrong with you— but at least she’s finally reacting. You call her name one more time.

Her nose scrunches up a little. Long fingers flex –and they touch yours. She’s cold. A pair of blueish ambers blink open to regard you. Not with malice, or with annoyance.

“Good evening.” you speak, unsure of what else to say.

A smirk slowly curves her lips. She looks like a lazy cat pondering whether or not it’s worth it to pounce and that’s not good. It’s not good, not ‘hot’ like your mind suggests. God, you’ve been in this castle so long you are starting to get messed up.

“Mm, breakfast in bed.” she grins and licks her lower lip sexily. Your eyes fly wide open, but her hand is already gripping the front of your black shirt, trapping you there.

How could you ever find this psycho attractive?! you get mad at yourself. Is she hot now that she’s going to kill you?  

But Cassandra only lets out an airy laugh and releases you. You fall backwards on your behind. “Breathe, darling, I’m joking.” She rolls onto her back and seems to wince from it. Her smile vanishes.

“…does… your back hurt?” you ask when you finally find your voice again.

“Ugh, a Lycan landed a hit on me. He’s pieces now, of course, but my muscles still pull.” she says it casually, like it’s a thing that happens.

Silence falls over the room. You take it as your cue to leave. You stand and bow while she’s looking blankly at the ceiling—

But she stops you.

“Wait. Come here.” you don’t like it when she gets that tone, like she came up with something she cannot wait to try. You’re already close to the bed, you’re not sure what she means. Until she pats the spot right next to her. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You won’t. You know what’s good for you.

Hesitantly, you take a seat on the –admittedly very comfortable— mattress. “Yes, lady?”

“Give me a massage.” she says like it’s your job, like she’s the rich woman in a spa and it’s what’s expected. She turns onto her front, bearing her naked back to you and you have less than five seconds to come to terms with the thought of straddling her.

Carefully, you bring your knees on either side of her thighs and pull the sheets so they rest low at her waist. You feel warmer than you should given the temperature of the castle. If she knows the fine teasing line she’s walking, she is loving every inch of it.

Cassandra loves being the center of attention and she loves being pampered, you realize.

It’s probably amusing to her to make you fluster, but this is also an opportunity for you to get on her good graces. She is a dangerous one and it’ll be a great asset for your survival if she’s leaning favorably towards you. Win-win situation. You just have to be good at your job. Like always.

By some miracle of God, you do know how to work the tension out of muscles.

The first time you touch her, you simply rest your hands on her back to warm it. She doesn’t seem to object, from the way lean muscle stretches out under your fingers. Cassandra feels cool, but not hard like marble. Her skin yields under your touch, soft and smooth.

As you apply more pressure to your stokes, she starts to let out little sighs that you have to mute in your mind before they start to affect you. You’ve been high-strung and without sex for too long. Your body all too eagerly intercepts this death-trap as foreplay.

Minutes roll by.

You alternate between all the methods you know. The one that really seems to get her is when you drive your thumb into the knots and end with a little circle.

Cassandra is –God help you— openly moaning every time you press more. It is a bit too much pressure you’re applying though and you don’t know if you’re hurting her and she’s just into it.

“Is this too much…?” you ask. Fuck, why do you sound so breathless?

“No, it’s good.” she husks back.

“Harder?” You don’t know what innocent means, anymore.

Cassandra sends that little smirk again over her shoulder. “Harder.” she replies and the extra flair she puts into it is enough to nearly fry your brain. And other parts of you.

You’re pretty sure you need a cold shower by the time you leave her room.

...

At diner, you hang back in the shadows, gaze downcast.

You do not need to know what the Dimitrescu family is eating, nor what they’re drinking. You do not need to see Cassandra or risk catching Daniela’s gaze. You love your anonymity in the castle. It has kept you alive.

But it is shattered like frail glass when you bring another bottle of Sanguis Virginis to the table. You’ve almost retreated back to your place, when Daniela’s eyes zero in on you.

“She’s the human!” she exclaims like she’s made the world’s most startling discovery. Bela seems to understand, but the Lady and Cassandra frown over their glasses.

“I am almost afraid to ask, love.” Lady Alcina says…

And she’s right.

“The one who made Cassandra go ‘harder’ and ‘yes, yes!’ earlier this evening.” she impersonates in her sluttiest voice and then breaks into a fit of cackles. Bela’s lip twists into a withheld chuckle.

Lady Dimitrescu nearly chokes on her wine.

Cassandra slaps the back of Daniela’s head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Girls.” Alcina warns and glares until the table calms again.

Then, her eyes curiously fall upon you.

So much for your anonymity.

Ko-Fi

[wlwmarvelenthusiast]

Can we get sequel to goose’s best friend??? That was fantastic

I'll have you all know I had this saved under the working title "Goose's Mom Has Got It Going On"

Goose's Best Friend, Part 2

Part 1

Summary: After finding out your flirty pen-pal was Carol Danvers, you have to see if you can look past your shared past and make it work.

Pairings: Carol Danvers x Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2,897

A date with Carol Danvers was dangerous. There were about a million things that could go horribly wrong, all of which you ran over in your head as you walked to the cafe down the street, the blonde in question at your side. Neither of you had spoken a single word since you’d agreed to a coffee date after she’d shown up at your apartment and admitted that she had been the girl you’d been flirting with over the little notes on Goose’s collar.

When she’d first showed up at your door, you’d refused her.

You hated Carol Danvers, right? She was arrogant, self-centred, and an all-around pain in the ass. She was not a joy to be around and that had never, not once, been debatable. Not until that moment when, for some unknown reason, your heart skipped a beat when that too-familiar grin crossed her lips. You’d managed to ignore the feeling, tightening your grip on the doorknob to ready yourself to shut the passage that was open between you.

“Danvers,” you’d said, suppressing the shake in your voice. “Sorry I wasted your time.”

“Wasted my time? What do you mean?”

“We’ve never gotten along much, have we? Who’s to say that should start now?”

You’d tried to shut the door, then, but she’d put her foot in the way. “Coffee. Tomorrow morning.”

Uncertainty was something you thought you’d never see in the eyes of the army pilot. Yet, there she’d stood, gaze cast just past your head at the golden numbers nailed to your apartment door. It was something that made you momentarily forget just who it was. That show of uncertainty was comforting to you. It showed she’d changed. If she could change her attitude for just a moment then, who was to say she couldn’t change her attitude just a little more? You wanted to meet the Carol who had sent you all those notes.

“Tomorrow morning,” you’d agreed. Then you’d shut the door.

Now, here you were, walking into the small cafe at her side. She held the door open for you, an awkward smile tugging at her lips as she did. Your smile was just as forced, and the quiet thank you just as uncomfortable. Neither of you fit into the atmosphere one bit. It was calm, peaceful, and comfortable inside. You were wringing your hands together because you weren’t sure what to do with them, and your gaze was locked to the ground, unsure if you should be looking at Carol or not.

You finally stepped up to the front of the line, eyes travelling over the board quickly. Carol ordered a black coffee, and then her eyes turned to you. You cleared your throat hard before you ordered yourself a drink. When the barista asked suddenly, if it was together or separate, you and Carol both tensed up impossibly more. Her mouth opened and then shut once as she tried to find words. After forty-five seconds of tense silence, you whipped your wallet out.

“Together. Credit.”

You paid for both drinks and then moved to wait for them to be prepared. The entire time you waited, neither you nor Carol spoke a word. Instead, you bathed in the most uncomfortable silence you’d ever felt before in your entire life. Finally, the drinks arrived. You handed Carol hers, and she led you to a table in the corner. You both sat down, the silence reigning until you finally decided to clear your throat and be the first to speak.

“So, you have a cat.”

“Yeah. He’s a good cat. I got him from a friend,” Carol said, before sipping her drink. “Long story.”

You decided not to prod about that. You didn’t know her well enough to. Instead, you only nodded in response. You took to glancing around the room, something that gave you a reason to look away from Carol whilst not seeming awkward about it. There weren’t many other people in the cafe, and you didn’t stare too long at any one of them, lest they think you were being rude. Eventually, your gaze moved back to the blonde across from you.

“So, I guess this was unexpected,” Carol laughed tightly. “Me, I mean.”

“I was surprised. It was… unexpected,” you repeated.

“You don’t sound overly pleased.”

You had to stop and think about that. You’d been avoiding pondering just how you felt about this. When you’d worked up the confidence to ask your anonymous pen-pal to a coffee date, you’d been quite excited. Once you’d found out just who you’d asked on a date, though, your feelings had changed. You were still open to it, even if you were a little more hesitant. It made you nervous. Carol Danvers had never liked you and you’d never liked her. She’d spent every moment you’d ever spent with her teasing and taunting you and you’d never enjoyed it.

“Surprised,” you repeated. “We’ve never much gotten along.”

Carol shrugged. “Well, I wasn’t ecstatic either, you know.”

That was starting to sound a little more like the Carol you knew. Of course she would say something like that. For a second you had to stop and remind yourself of who you were talking to. You took a deep breath, focused on the warm drink in your hands, and then looked back up at the army pilot. She wasn’t looking at you, the comment she’d made obviously not having meant anything to her. That fact almost made you even angrier.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Carol only let her gaze flicker to you once before turning it back to whatever she was looking at behind you. “I mean it’s you,” she said nonchalantly. She looked back at you. “But I came anyway. After those notes, how couldn’t I?”

“You came anyway,” you repeated with a scoff. “And that was right after you overlooked the fact that it was me, right?”

Your voice had risen just enough that the table next to you was able to hear your conversation. They may have been trying to be discreet about it, but you know the young couple sitting across each other, hands clasped under the table, were listening in. Every once in a while their eyes would wander to your table, their conversation had dropped, and they were leaning a little closer than necessary. You wanted to give them a rude gesture with your hands, but then again, you wanted to give that same gesture to your date.

Carol rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then tell me what you did mean.”

“You’re not exactly my type, you know.”

“And what’s that mean, Danvers? I'm not exciting enough for you? Pardon me for enjoying peace and quiet.” You stood up. “You’re welcome, by the way, for the coffee.”

You stood up and left your half-empty drink on the table, making for the exit. Carol didn’t stop you.

*

You were half tempted to hang up on the woman that was on and on in your ear. You lay back against the arm of the sofa, tucking the cordless phone between your ear and your shoulder. You grabbed the TV remote off the end table beside you and turned the TV on. It was the time of day for your favourite TV show. The sound of the theme song caught the attention of your best friend. She gave a very loud shout of protest, making you scramble for the phone to pull it away from your ear.

“You are not seriously watching TV right now!”

“I am seriously watching TV. Miami Vice is on.”

“You need to go knock on Carol’s door, and-”

You snarled. After the whole incident with the notes on Goose’s collar, you’d been unable to not think about the sweet side of Carol. When you saw her or saw Goose, it’d been all you thought about. But you’d gotten over it. Once more Carol no longer elicited any feelings other than rage. That was how you liked it. There was no want for anything else. In fact, you made sure that Carol no longer took up more than five minutes of your thoughts. You didn’t need to let her rule your life like that.

“I won’t do any such thing. I’d rather date the Wicked Witch of the fucking West.”

“Well, pretty soon that’s going to be your only option left.”

“You should see me right now. I've practically fallen off my seat with laughter,” you said, sarcasm coating your words.

There was a knock at your door before she could answer. You didn’t even tell her as you put the phone down on the coffee table, turned the volume down on the TV, and headed for the front door. You opened it up without checking who it was, and your eyebrows furrowed momentarily when no one was there. When Goose strode into your apartment with confidence, though, you couldn’t help but smile. You shut the door behind him and picked up the phone once more.

“Sorry. I had to get the door,” you muttered, jamming the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you reached for the cat treats.

“Was it Carol?”

“It was not,” you said, rolling your eyes. “It was my new best friend.”

“New best friend?!” She hesitated a moment. “It’s that cat, isn’t it?”

You decided not to dignify that with an answer. You turned to hand Goose one of the treats, only to find that he’d disappeared. You glanced every which way to find him, but the tabby was nowhere in sight. His presence was announced when you heard the shatter from the living room. The red mug that your grandmother had given you for your birthday was in pieces on the floor. You scowled at the cat, but when he glanced up at you with wide eyes, you found you couldn’t stay mad at him. Instead, you grabbed the dustpan and hung up the phone with a quick apology.

As you swept the red pieces of ceramic off the floor, you glance up at Goose. Casually, he licked one of his front paws where he was sat upon the coffee table. You might have looked away, but you noticed the small piece of paper taped around his collar. There was some unidentifiable feeling swirling around in your stomach. You hadn’t talked to Carol since the incident in the cafe. You had half a mind to just leave the paper where it was, but you found, as you dumped the broken mug in the trash and tried to resume watching your show, you couldn’t get your mind off it. Finally, when Goose made to stride past you, you reached out and took it.

For a few long moments, you held it folded in your hands. There was no way there was any sort of apology on the small note. That was not the style of Carol Danvers. Not that you knew, anyway. You turned it over a few more times in your hands before you finally unfolded it, still hesitating before you read it. Goose was watching you as if he were interested to see what your expression might be. You glanced down at the untidy scrawl that belonged to your least-favourite neighbour.

Can we talk?

You wanted to write out a simple no as a reply. She didn’t deserve that, did she? Not when you’d already given her a chance after she’d been nothing but terrible to you for well over a year. You crumpled the note and threw it across the room, watching it fall on the floor beside the TV. With nothing more than a simple grumble, you reached for the TV remote, turning up the volume, sitting back, and putting all of your attention into the show in front of you.

*

The sun streaming through the window of your bedroom was blinding. You’d been too distracted to remember to close the curtains the night before, so it was unobstructed as it was amplified by the glass pane in your window and shone into your eyes. With a hand raised to protect your eyes, you glanced over at the digital clock that was sat on your nightstand. You’d slept in. That fact didn’t surprise you much. You hadn’t slept much.

Only when you let your head fall back against the pillows once more, eyes squeezed shut to protect them from the bright light, did you realize the second presence you could feel in your room. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, a little surprised that it was still present. You reached out with your left arm, using it to feel around the bed to find them. It didn’t take long, the other body being well within your reach. Your hand made contact so that you were both awake.

“You’re still here,” you mumbled, stretching as you turned your head to meet open eyes. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

Of course, Goose didn’t answer.

He’d been your companion the night before when you’d been tossing and turning, unable to get your brain to stop thinking about Carol’s note that was still crumpled into a small ball on the floor in your living room. He’d sat by your side and let you stroke the fur on his head as your mind raced, your own thoughts not letting you get a good night’s sleep. Eventually, he’d even curled up next to you on your bed, a strong sense of comfort coming from the action. You ran a hand over his head.

“Thanks, Buddy.”

He mewed in response.

You decided it was well time to get up, so you rolled off the bed. The first thing you did was jump in the shower, letting the hot water wash away some of the stress from the night before. When you emerged in sweat pants and a t-shirt, Goose was still on the bed. You waved for him to follow you into the kitchen. You started the coffee maker and went to the fridge to grab the creamer. There was none left. You groaned, the noise drowned out by Goose’s loud cry from behind you. He was sitting by the empty bag of treats.

“Yeah, me too,” you grumbled. “Wait here. I’ll go get more.”

So, you grabbed your keys, slid your feet into your shoes, and headed out the front door. You weren’t expected for Carol to be there, hand raised as if she’d been preparing to knock on the door. For a brief moment, she glanced behind you to take a look at Goose on the kitchen counter. Her gaze moved back to you. You were still a little shocked, not having been prepared for the early-morning (or, technically, early-afternoon) encounter outside your door.

“He stayed the night?” She asked.

“Mhm.”

It was a stupid response, and you cursed yourself for it right away. She didn’t seem to think twice of it. Her eyes were searching your face carefully. You didn’t know what she was looking for, but you were forcing yourself from blushing bright red. Judging by the absence of her usual smirk, she didn’t know that. You shut the door behind you, stepping around Carol to remove yourself from the closeness you’d been forced into.

“I was just going to get some coffee creamer. Did you want him back?” You said, shoving the keys into your pocket.

“No,” she said, twisting her fingers together. “I was looking for you.”

“Oh,” was all you said. “Why?”

“I wanted to talk.”

You could’ve slammed your palm into your forehead. Of course that’s why she was looking for you. She’d actually told you that she’d wanted to talk. You shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d sought you out to do just that. You supposed that’s what you got for not giving her a response. You nodded, finally, and leaned against the wall behind you, arms crossed over your chest. It was a posture that made you look closed off, and that was exactly what you wanted.

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day,” she began slowly. “And I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you since I’ve lived here.”

Maybe you’d been mistaken. Maybe she did know how to apologize.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I’m sorry I stormed out.”

“I was just… I was hoping you’d give me another chance. Maybe lunch this time. On me.”

You sighed. “How many chances do you think you deserve, Carol?”

You’d meant to ask the question with anger. It had been intended as something rhetorical. What it came out as, though, was hurt and broken. At some point, it had become a sincere question. With eyes just as sincere, though, Carol took one single step closer.

“I just need one more.”

You hesitated. She’d hurt you. She was dangerous. But she didn’t want much. Just one more chance. You wanted to give it to her. You wanted to let her try and prove herself. That’s what your heart wanted. Your head was powerful, though, and rejected the feelings of your heart. It was screaming something different.

It was only one more chance, but you had to decide if she deserved it.

“Why don’t you start by walking with me to the store?” You offered.

Carol nodded. “I can do that.”

And, just maybe, that was the start of one more chance.

[sardonic-the-writer]

So you think you might have gotten lost. What was once a calming walk in the woods to help your mind unwind for a bit, has turned stressful because you decided to wander off the path for a bit. Normally you go into these woods to get rid of the stress that has build up for the day. Working 9-5 in an office is fine and all but my god it is not worth the headaches you always end up getting at the end of the day, and today was the worst. Your boss decided to give you a much bigger workload then what you normally have and then gets mad at you when you can get it all done at the end of the day! Like what the hell man??

So that's how you found yourself in this situation. He wanted to take a walk like normal but decided to stray off the path because you weren't ready to go home yet. You're kind of regretting it now because it's almost dark and you have no idea how to get back onto the path. Cherry on top this whole thing is that there's no signal where you are so you can't call for any kind of help. Mabye if you wander for a bit you can find someone.

You keep walking because staying in one spot really isn't going to help you at this point. As you continue on you notice the trees start to get denser, which is a bit odd because you know the forest isn't that big. At least not big enough to start getting super dense. Feeling a little unnerved you turn around to try and stay out of dense area because the last thing you need is a bear or big cat deciding "hey look free snack!" But the second you turn the area behind you is also dense.

Now thoroughly freaked out you have no idea what to do because suddenly there doesn't seem to be a way out and it's getting dark fast. Before you start to panic however you you hear something, is that an instrument? There's an instrument being played that means someone is playing it, maybe they can help you.

Start to walk towards the sound hoping but the person playing the instrument is nice and not some crazy murderer. Normally you wouldn't just go up to random strangers like this but again what else can you do? You're pretty stuck until you find some kind of help. Although you can't shake the feeling of unease in your chest as you get closer to the sound. Something doesn't feel right.

Before you can even think about turning back you reach a small clearing, and in the middle of the clearing is a man in the middle of a ring of mushrooms. The feeling from before is worse now but you don't know why. It's just a guy playing a guitar, what is so weird about that? Again with not much else you can do you step into the clearing to say hello. He looks up at you before you say anything and smiles.

"Hello"

You suddenly get chills. His voice sounds almost off, like it's not real? To perfect? You're unsure but it sounds almost wrong. But you shake away the thought and say hello back. You begin to walk closer to him and explain that you need help because you can't find your way out of the woods and need to get home. Closer you get to him you see more of his features. Curly brown hair, smoky brown eyes, and slightly pointed ears..? You stop just outside the strange mushroom circle and her replys.

"That sounds awful my dear, I'll gladly help you."

You smile and right before so can say thank you he says.

"Could I have your name?"

The unease that was once there before now quickly turns to dread. Why, he was only asking for you name. You open your mouth and tell him your name. And suddenly it feels like you just gave a large part of yourself away.

He smiles

(God I hope that was ok, I wanted to try something new)

❄

(I am this close to asking you to come be a co-author with me ngl- this was amazing.)

As soon as your name had left the comfortable confines of your chapped lips, it was as if your limbs had gotten lighter. You had no idea why it suddenly felt as if your body had been pumped full of helium, but you went exactly complaining. It was a serene sort of situation, like you were stargazing after a finishing a fairy tale novel. Almost as if you felt that you wouldn't have to do anything for yourself ever again.

"Who are you?" You mumbled at the strange looking man after a second of composing yourself. He looked down abashed, hiding a sly smile and red cheeks with some chestnut colored hair falling in the way of his face.

"That's not anything for you to worry about dear." He chided with another smile. Same as before, his voice was a clear melody; only being rivaled by the beautiful music he had been making with that wooden guitar.

Opening your mouth to press for his name more, you found yourself unable to do so. Eventually as you tried more and more, you forgot why you were trying to speak. Something about...a name? Did it really matter anymore?

"Come. Sit next to me." He invited you calmly. Readjusting his glossy guitar to rest neatly on his hip, the unnamed and mysterious man looked at you with expecting eyes.

Familiar feelings of floating on air took over your limbs as they started to move on their own accord. Your head grew fuzzier and more cloudy as you remained eye contact with him. Thinking for yourself was secondary at this point. Why, you had no idea. But it just felt right.

Sitting down in the slightly damp grass next to his ring of squishy mushrooms, you watched with wide and curious eyes as he picked back up his guitar.

He strummed it and adjusted a few strings before turning his attention back to you. A facial expression that hid many secrets softened immensely when looking deep into your wondrous yes.

"Why don't I play you a song or two, love?"

[svchengss]

king of hearts | d.sc

PAIRING. dong sicheng x reader

GENRE. high school!au, fluff, slight angst, kind of e2l

WARNINGS. none (lmk if i missed any!)

WORD COUNT. 6.7k

SUMMARY. sicheng’s subtle flirts are not working effectively but it only motivates him to try and woo you more. the devil sure works hard but dong sicheng works harder.

PLAYLIST. king of hearts

TAGLIST. @floraljae @clovdless @mashiihearts @ndr1271 @kunrengui (shoutout to mashi for being a major help in the process of writing this <3)

// just to let you guys know, reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !! thank you for reading :D

music was blaring through the multiple loudspeakers scattered around the school grounds, booths of various interests that were set-up by the clubs being swarmed by visitors and ecstatic oohs and aahs from the ones playing games can be heard intermittently. the annual school festival of redlands high, an event that is looked forward to by every single student there. or maybe not, you’re quite unsure of the self-made data.

you immediately made a beeline to the dance club booth which is managed by yangyang, the president also holding the title of your best friend. a cartoonish grin crept up on his face when he spots you walking towards him.

“so, what do you think? looks legit, huh?” he crossed his arms together, observing the design of the booth with a proud smile. the set-up is definitely eye-catching, not much decorations going on, adding to the simplicity of the white theme with gold touch-ups. you browsed through the plastered posters on the board, inviting people to sign up for their upcoming audition. looking up to the signboard hanging outside, you showed a thumbs up towards him, muttering a quick ‘perfect’.

“so what exactly is your booth doing? there’s not much… activity going on?” you scratched the non-existent itch on your left eyebrow. the boy in front of you gave you an eye roll before explaining that there will be mini dance games - or just dance as he worded. an amused sound left your lips as you bent down, dropping your signature in the guestbook on the wooden table.

“are you coming to the stage shows tonight? i heard there’s a new band performing,” your ears perked up instinctively upon hearing the words. after your sister graduated high school, nobody paid any attention to keep the band going. the zikas, a trio that made the music club strive back then. either the newer batches were too lazy to make an effort or too scared if they weren’t up to the already high standards of the school.

“i’m going if you’re going,” you simply stated, which made yangyang flash you the same grin from before. you said your simple goodbyes when people started lining up to try the just dance game at his booth. after he reminded you to wait for him by the statue, you went off to check out the food sales, eager to fill your growling stomach since this morning.

you can do this, sicheng. you can do this.

he made sure to double check the tuning of his guitar for one last time before joining the rest of his bandmates on the stage. his tall and slim physique surely left an impact, seeing that some of the audience suddenly became more invested in the performance compared to the others. he’s wearing some band’s shirt - probably green day since it’s quite similar to your sister’s posters in her room, black leather jacket and his black hair middle parted. not to miss the silver pendant necklace on his neck, sparkling under the spotlight.

the moment he struck the pick through the strings of his electric guitar, the drummer and bassist followed after, producing a melody that is pleasing to your ears. he held the microphone closer to his mouth, singing the lyrics as you bobbed your head up and down to the covers they sang - american idiot and helena are the ones you recognized since you’ve heard the songs so often. yangyang on the other hand kept on sipping the chocolate milkshake in his hand, vibing with the music as well.

the next song was a sentimental one which you assumed is a self-composed one, since you’ve never heard this song before. before you know it, the performance is over and the audience have started packing up their belongings to hang out somewhere else or go home.

“good job everyone, we did well,” yuta, who played the bass earlier, high-fived the rest of the band with a sly grin on his face. guanheng chugged the mineral water down his throat before stashing his drumsticks into the bag while sicheng was lost in his thoughts. he doesn’t know why but you stood out from the crowd, only able to see you just now. he wouldn’t say it’s a crush, not knowing anything about you but it definitely made him feel something. a trigger in his heart, not knowing where it leads to. but what he does know is that you caught his attention.

“and you know what he said? i’ll come back crawling to him just like his other exes. what the heck is even that?” you took out the binders from your locker while listening to ningning rant about her love life. since you haven’t had any relationships before, you’re not really a professional in this aspect of life so you just kept your mouth shut to avoid giving useless advice.

“that sounds so rude, he’s such a jerk,” you commented, taking the first bite of your sandwich afterwards. the tea-spilling session eventually came to an end when she reached her class first and you kept walking to mrs. walker’s, english being your first period. nothing exciting really happened in that class except someone got their phone confiscated for texting in class - just the usual things. classes later, it’s finally recess when you met up with ningning and yangyang in the cafeteria.

“first of all, cut him off. block him. everywhere,” yangyang emphasized the last word, knowing how much of an idiot the guy can be. you just scrolled through your socials, double tapping on certain posts that caught your eye. owning a cat looks fun, you made a mental note to bring the idea to your parents later. the bell rang which signals that classes are starting back soon and the same cycle of events continues before it’s time to go home.

you observed yangyang’s sharp moves, following to the beat of the song echoing in the dance room. it’s currently half past seven and he’s still here, beads of sweat running through his hair. and why would he stay in school so late, you may ask? obviously, he’s here for a reason and it being an upcoming dance tournament is the most accurate one. while you’re here, sitting on the floor, back against the mirror and legs straightened out with your phone in your hand. it amazes you how the goofy boy transforms 360°, being all serious when he’s in his element.

“let’s go home, i’m tired already,” he panted out breathlessly, using a cloth nearby to wipe his sweaty forehead. you wait for him by the glass door as he packs up his things when the lights in the music studio also switched off. you wondered it must be the band guys so you paid no attention whatsoever. of course, your predictions were right when you saw two lads stepping out.

since yangyang is taking too much time tidying up the dance studio and the music studio seems unoccupied, you decided to check it out for a bit. it’s been a long time since you last entered the room, always accompanying your sister for her extra practice when you were younger. not much has changed, except some additions of instruments can be seen. not seeing anything in the dark condition as the room is only illuminated by the faint lights from the hallway, you pushed the switches down only to be met by a gasp.

“what are you doing here?” the tall boy approached you, a stern look visible on his fine features. your eyes scrambled around the room in an attempt to find any logical excuses for your ‘break-in’ but to no avail. your tongue was dry, not a sound escaping your throat when you heard yangyang’s voice, signalling your cue to exit the room and escape from the tension building between you and the boy. he just shook his head, the black hair bouncing left to right as he finally caught on.

it’s you, you’re the girl from the crowd. and your name is y/n.

the walk home was filled with one-sided conversations where yangyang kept on babbling about how he should improve the choreography he created earlier while you only added small comments. your mind is filled with embarrassment, too much that you feel slightly mad at yourself. why didn’t you say anything earlier? now, you look like a complete idiot with communication issues in front of that boy.

“yeah, and remember that pasta? we should definitely try it again, it’s like, so good,” yangyang said, earning a nod from you when you saw the boy from last night’s music studio tragedy approaching your table. you tried to look away but it was too late.

“dude, just wanna let you know that mr. park is seeing us after school,” your grip on your fork loosens up when you realized he wasn’t talking to you. maybe he forgot about the incident? you really hope so.

“yeah, totally. thanks sicheng,” yangyang playfully winked at the latter, earning a disgusted look from him who started walking away. he glanced back at you with a smug smile on his plump lips, making you freeze up again.

he didn’t.

“are you okay, y/n? feeling sick?” ningning furrowed her eyebrows upon seeing your sudden change of demeanor. you shrugged her off and continued to consume the macaroni placed on the tray in front of you, mentally cursing at yourself for the poor life choice you’d made. well, at least you know that his name is sicheng, right?

oh boy, you’re in for a long ride.

you can’t wait to go home and snuggle under the covers, today has been a long and tiring one for you. you had three pop quizzes as if all the three teachers intended so, your class had to run multiple laps during p.e. and so on. you’re already planning your routine in your head, trudging your way to the lockers when you saw him leaning against yours, scrolling down his phone.

“crap,” you muttered under your breath.

there it is, the smirk on his face returns when he spots your figure approaching. oh, how you wish you could wipe it off his face. he moved a couple steps backwards to give you some space to arrange your things before locking it, turning your head towards him.

“i’m sorry, why are you here again? and if it’s because of last night, then i’m sorry if it bothered you or anything,” you huffed out.

“what? i didn’t really care, it’s not like you were stealing anything, right?” he squinted his eyes, eyeing you up and down suspiciously, laughing shortly after seeing you get riled up.

“damn, you really need to learn how to take a joke. y/n, right? i’m sicheng, nice to meet you.”

“why exactly are we having this meet-and-greet or whatever this introduction is?” you crossed your arms, waiting for his response. but he didn’t, immediately turning on his heels and making his way towards the stairs, probably going to the studio.

“jerk,” you cursed under your breath, walking out the school building.

“what? you got accepted? seriously?” ningning’s voice echoed against the cafeteria walls, earning surprised and annoyed glances from other students who were either satisfying their grumbling stomach or simply having conversations. yangyang softly nudged her elbows using his, asking her to lower her voice down before telling you to go on. you were quite surprised as well, the acceptance email was not what you expected to receive. when you filled in the application form, it was just a mere shoot-your-shot agenda to see if you’d make the cut. although this is just a camp, you’re still unsure of what lies ahead.

“yeah, it starts next week. but i’m so nervous though,” you sipped the iced coffee in your hands. you’ve only watched videos of people producing their own music from scratch which you start to take an interest in. however, you’ve never done it hands-on before, only having basic music theory knowledge thanks to the piano lessons your parents signed you up for when you were young.

“you’ll do awesome, i promise,” yangyang gave you a reassuring smile, making you release some tension from the overthinking you’ve had since you received the email last night.

“thanks yang.”

now, here you are on the first day of attending the internship camp. you stood in front of the tall mirror hanging on the wall, straightening your cardigan and applying some makeup onto your face as touch-ups. it’s currently 7:40 in the morning, the earliest time you’ve ever woken up on a saturday. your siblings are still swallowed in their states of sleep. you double-checked the contents in your tote bag, making sure that no important things are left behind. you totally don’t intend on leaving a bad first impression on your first day.

after bidding a swift goodbye to your parents who just woke up, you drove your mother’s old honda to the completely new destination - mbyte studios. the tall building with light grey and blue painted walls definitely made it stand out, a futuristic look catching the eyes of the passersby. taking a deep breath, you entered the main lobby before being escorted to a room on the second floor. you assume it’s a waiting room for all participants of the camp, scanning that majority of the occupiers might be college students. you thanked god that the camp takes place on weekends so your high school senior life won’t be interrupted that much.

DAY 1

your eyes widened when you spot sicheng with the same white and blue tag you’re wearing, seated on the sofa. what the hell is he doing here? you avoided acknowledging his presence, trying to make yourself as unnoticed as possible heading over to occupy the seat farthest from his. after quite some time staring at the paintings hanging on the wall, a middle-aged lady with a petite figure entered the room, making you sit up straight.

“welcome to mbyte studios! i’m the assistant director, mrs. hwang. first and foremost, congratulations on being accepted. it’ a pleasure to witness the start of your musical journey embarking here. i believe that we should know each other first?” she gestured for any volunteers. sicheng stood up from his seat, charisma evident in his stance which left quite an impression on the others. the strong confidence in the way he speaks made the woman smile amusingly.

some names later, it was your turn to introduce yourself. the moment you stood up, he immediately recognized you and you were sure you caught him making some faces. the ice-breaking session went well thankfully, mrs. hwang elaborating on the social rules and the itinerary throughout the whole six days. one that caught your attention was assisting the producers on making a track from scratch, just like you had dreamed of.

when it was finally time for lunch break, you shot up from your seat to get away from sicheng as fast as possible but to your dismay, he beat you to it, jogging up towards your standing position.

“i didn’t know you were into music, what’s the sudden occasion?”

“it’s none of your business actually,” you sneered back, obviously not favouring his attention.

“woah, relax. you’ve got quite a temper, don’t you? by the way, we’re having lunch together,” he placed his phone onto a nearby table, pulling a chair for you.

“just eat on your own, i don’t have the appetite,” you flash a sarcastic grin before disappearing into the women’s restroom. he just laughed bitterly at your response before walking towards the food counter, joining his newly made friend, jaehyun. being the same age, they’re easy to click.

DAY 2

“today, we’ll be focusing on the recording process. you’ll be assigned into groups that will have a tour of the whole department. our staff will facilitate each group,” the manager said loud and clear. you remembered his name was johnny. the tattoo on his shoulder really stands out, considering the fact that he’s always wearing a sleeveless shirt.

but what are the odds when your groupmate is none other than the guy himself, sicheng. it’s like the universe truly resented you for having to be associated with him at any event. your group was escorted to the farthest recording studio on the floor. to say that this was a great experience is truly an understatement, making you observe the gears used in astonishment. you hate to admit it but sicheng has a handful of knowledge on this particular topic, always correctly answering the questions directed by the staff. maybe it wasn’t quite surprising upon knowing that his career choice is a singer, not that you care anyways.

again, nothing out of the ordinary happened today, except that you and sicheng had lunch on the same table. of course, it’s not that you accepted his offer but he welcomed himself to the spot. being the quickly favoured participant among the rest, obviously they welcomed him with open hands. he placed himself among the two guys sitting at the right corner, eyeing you whose eyes are still not leaving the article you were skimming through. with the last spoon of food shoved into your mouth, you quietly excused yourself from the group. sicheng just watched your movements in subtle signs of annoyance.

with the final task of doing microphone check-ups, day two of the camp ended with a breeze. you can’t wait to go home, get into a warm bath and spend the night watching netflix. it was a tiring one indeed but you’re not one to complain. pushing the car keys into the ignition slot, the sound of the engine starting is still nowhere to be heard even after a couple of retries. you rested your forehead onto the steering wheel, cursing silently in your head, having to get a taxi and call your mother about this incident. you’re sure to be receiving a handful from her, not to mention her soft but stingful remarks.

“hey, are you okay?” a deep voice interrupts your stressful state of mind. looking up, it’s sicheng with a concerned look on display. you hesitantly shared your problem, making him press his lips together probably thinking of a solution.

“you know, i don’t really know how to fix your broken engine or whatever but i know someone who can. let me just ring him for a sec. and you’re coming home with me.”

and that’s how you ended up in the front passenger seat, sicheng steering with one hand and the other rested on the windowsill. the faint music from the radio can be heard, probably a song by jon vinyl. you’d steal quick glances to see his other hand dancing in the air, enjoying the rhythm of the song playing. besides that, it was silent as both of you are preoccupied with your own things - sicheng on the road while you on your phone. he tried to make small talk but you would say it’s unrequited, only replying with short sentences. after a good ten minutes drive, the sight of your brown painted gate becomes a sign for him to stop the moving car.

“your car is safe with my friend so you shouldn’t worry about it or anything. also, what’s your number? it’ll be easier for, you know the car business of course,” he reached over to unbuckle your seatbelt, handing over his phone to you after. the close proximity made your breath hitch, the dewy scent of his perfume diffusing into your nose. not too strong, he has a good taste.

“thanks and um, i’ll buy you a drink later. just for today.”

“are you asking me on a date?” there it is, the significant tug on the side of his lips making its presence once again.

“stop being so narcissistic and move along please,” you rolled your eyes before giving him a small wave, stepping into your property. sicheng stared at the numerals on his phone screen, a small, proud grin etched on before driving off the lane.

“how was the camp? met any cute boys?” the first thing you hear in the hue of the blue monday morning is ningning’s chirpy voice. sometimes you wonder how she gets all boosted up at this hour of the day. yangyang is the polar opposite, his appearance as if he just got out of bed, the hood of his denim jacket resting on top of his auburn hair.

“it was good and no, no cute boys. but sicheng was there,” you replied nonchalantly, a mischievous grin crept onto her lips. you can almost predict the words that are going to spill out of her mouth.

“what’s up with her?” yangyang yawned, his eyes lazily gaze at you. you just lifted your shoulders, having no idea whatsoever. a ping sound was heard from your phone, notifying that a new message is received.

unknown: hey sicheng here

unknown: ur car may be ready tmr. want me to drive u there?

listening to your heart, you were about to type ‘no’ but remembering the fact that your parents will be busy the whole day tomorrow and yangyang is coming home late once again, you have no choice but to accept the lad’s help.

now you’re back in his vehicle, the same spot as before. you’ve only noticed now that a musical note charm is hung on the rearview mirror, a semiquaver to be exact. you’d say that it looks authentic, gold specks shining when sun rays hit the surface. observing the interior of his car, there are quite a number of small decorations.

“can we get coffee first? my treat for the car and the ride,” you suggested, looking at him whose eyes are focused onto the road. the traffic is quite pleasing today, nobody honking mindlessly at the other drivers and flipping each other off with the famous middle finger gesture. his side profile does look charming, some type of earrings dangling from his ears. if you’re going to be honest, his appearance does seem to be your type. you’re not one to say about his persona though, always managing to bother you at any time of the day.

“sure, wanna go to the new cafe? i heard it’s good,”. you just nodded while he skillfully steered the steering wheel, moving the car to the new destination. you turned your eyes to look outside from the car window, seeing the one hundred and one manners of the citizens. a mother struggling to take her child who’s having a tantrum out of the toy shop, a young couple having their romantic meal in the french cafe. the motion of the car stopping awakened you who was being distracted by your clouded mind.

from the moment you stepped into the place, the interior caught your attention. the light brown painted walls with black furniture complementing each other perfectly, making a retro-like appearance. the funky song playing faintly in the background surely is a mood-setter, just how you like it. even the barista serving you is being friendly, making a couple of small talk in the midst of operating the machines.

you would say that it was a pleasureful day for you. the exquisite taste of latte washing down your dry throat, getting your car back without too much babbling from your dear mother and the gap between you and sicheng closing in for a little.

the last sentence baffled you for a second.

DAY 3

sicheng’s eyes shot open from the short slumber he was trying to get - failing miserably even, upon spotting you enter through the door. he pulled the chair beside him in hopes for you to get his message and take the seat. a frown made its way onto his face when you just waved at him, making your way to another spot a few chairs to the front. he scoffed, head tilting slightly before approaching you instead. you shot him a puzzled look, roughly translating to ask him what he’s doing here.

“i just want to be close to you. now focus,” he redirected his eyes onto the muscular man who just entered the room. he’s a songwriter - the best one in this company to be exact. you were focused on each point he explained, making small notes on your laptop. it’s not always that you’ll get a chance to be guided by a four-time award winning songwriter, might as well gain some benefits from it.

“another tip i have is to use all types of chords. remember, do not stick to the same ones, you’ll lack creativity. for instance, use major, minor, dominant, diminished, and augmented. i promise you, more ideas will be flowing and better quality songs will be produced. you got me?” the questioned, earning buzzing sounds of positive responses from the hall.

DAY 4

another day of group work, you’re given the task to create a melody according to the themes given - for your group, it’s love. looking at sicheng, he’s already on his electric guitar, strumming mindlessly to find the perfect note to start on. the rest of you are now juicing out some thoughts on this particular sense of human nature.

“love gives us thrill, the feeling of excitement, the feeling when you’re uncertain about something but when you have that special someone with you, you’re sure to wing it all,” jaehyun suggests, earning nods of approval from the rest of your groupmates.

“you’re a pro at this, mr. romantic,” you teased him, earning a soft chuckle. a dimpled smile is etched onto his features, rosy cheeks and his eye smile making you fawn. prince-like visual and a sense of humour? a two in one package, totally.

“not really. i guess i’m a sucker for romance movies,” he rubbed the back of his neck. your small conversation came to a halt when you heard a crooked, loud sound coming from the rough strum on the guitar strings. you turned around to see sicheng gazing directly towards the both of you, a sharp one even. jaehyun just blinked his eyes before catching onto the situation unfolding in front of him while you’re still being completely oblivious. you tilted your head in confusion, unsure of what’s gotten into him.

it’s the day that yangyang has been looking forward to since the past few weeks, his dance tournament. you’re seated with ningning on the bleachers, music from the loudspeakers echoing through the walls. with the cheers of the bewatchers whenever someone captivated them with a trick or dance move, usually the risky ones, it truly is a loud atmosphere.

“now, welcoming contestant number 43 to take the stage,” the host announced, you and ningning clapped with all your might, shouting words of encouragement as well. yangyang took a deep breath before lifting his right hand up, cueing for the music to start playing. just then, there’s the sound of someone plopping down on the hard surface next to you - sicheng. he’s looking casual today, a light yellow hoodie replacing his usual dark clothings.

“what are you doing here?” you shout whispered while ningning raised her eyebrows at you.

“didn’t yangyang tell you? i’m here to watch him dance,” he countered your question before darting his eyes back to the boy who’s busy popping on the dance floor, tinashe’s song playing in the background. he ended his routine with a moonwalk, making his way to the end of the stage. you’re confident that he’s going to win the competition, looking at how precise and clean his moves were. all the late night practices he had eventually paid off when he’s announced as the second placer. nonetheless, he’s still proud of himself, not to mention you and ningning who have been with him throughout his whole journey.

“you did well,” sicheng welcomed him with a fist bump which he reciprocated back. you didn’t know that they were this good of friends.

“i’m starving,” he rubbed his hand onto his stomach, making you remember that your stomach has been rumbling since you only ate a cereal bar that morning. you were about to catch up to yangyang and ningning who were walking fast ahead when you felt a tug on your shirt, looking down to see sicheng crouching down to tie your loose shoelaces.

“you might fall,” he placed his hands into the pockets of his hoodies, waiting for you to come along.

“um, thanks,” you muttered out before catching the glances given by your friends, later teasing you about the scene.

roars of students can be heard coherently, filling the basketball court. the basketball captain, a tall one with black charcoal hair is shooting a three-pointer. the players are then called over to their respective sides for whatever strategy their coaches will be implementing in the third-quarter. the home team is currently leading by five points, knowing that the players wearing the significant red and black jersey have been training their asses off for a while now.

but why exactly did you come to the game tonight? besides from the main event happening in the moment, the other reason is now standing in his position, strumming his electric guitar producing a funky sound that vibrates through the walls - a cue for the start of another buzzing stage. sicheng has been bugging you about watching him perform tonight and after quite some time evaluating, why not? when he finally caught you among the crowd, he flashed you a flirtatious wink. right before the band bowed as gratitude to the audience, he gave you a gesture to wait for him at the back of the gym.

“you came! but seriously, thank you,” he rested the sparkly white guitar against the wall, enveloping you into a hug. this is new, you tried to hide the flustered state of yours as you reciprocated his movement. from the corner of your eyes, you can see a black-haired guy approaching the two of you, followed by one with long, white hair and a bandana nicely keeping the fluffy strands in tact.

“ooh, who’s this?” the first one wiggled his eyebrows, later introducing himself as guanheng, the latter named yuta. to your surprise, the bond between you and them are quick to form with guanheng piloting the conversation. not to mention his subtle jokes making you giggle at times.

“well y/n, your little boyfriend here is getting jealous so we’ll excuse ourselves for now. see you whenever,” guanheng banging his drumsticks into the air while yuta gave you a quick wave before disappearing into the store room of the gymnasium. the nickname they gave sicheng surely made you a bit shy.

boyfriend?

DAY 5

you’re seated in front of the computer screen, your chin resting on the palm of your hands and the tabs of different colours left untouched. you redirected your gaze onto the projector screen, the words ‘arrange, mix, edit and master like a pro’ on it. a long sigh leaving your lips, you try to remember what the producer said earlier.

don’t make the song sound too repetitive

a good buildup promises a good melody

you can have a certain instrument playing only on one part for cinematic impact

DAY 6

“i’m hyo and you’re,” she moved the wheels of her chair to the back a bit to take another look at the clipboard resting on the desk, “sicheng, y/n and jaehyun, right?” the three of you nodded in harmony, anticipating for the next order that will be given.

“okay cool, we’ll be brainstorming first,” and she proceeded to explain what the requirements for this project are. you mouthed out the important points she gave, soft rock, heartbreak and drums. you’re on a roll today, contributing your countless ideas during the first few minutes of the discussion. sicheng just looked at you discussing with hyo, your lips pursed slightly. his gaze seems full of adoration, even jaehyun said so.

“any objections?” hyo looked over to the rest.

“i think she made some great ones. i’m sure this project will come out fresh,” jaehyun voiced out his opinions, sicheng nodding after. he went straight to handling the instruments , you and jaehyun collaborating for the mixing process. hyo eventually chimed in on some times, giving small advice whenever you seem stuck in the brain. with the hours ticking by, you’re feeling more satisfied than ever with your earphones in, listening to the final product created.

all of the participants are then assembled in the hall again, waiting for a final speech by the director which formalizes the end of the camp. sure, you’ve earned worthy knowledge throughout the six days. but if you’re being brutally true to the sound of your heart, it would be how you came to learn sicheng’s true antics. he might be the cocky guy who thinks they have the power to do anything but in truth, he’s just some guy with an honest heart, honest intentions to know you better.

summer break, your most anticipated event for the past few weeks. the moment the last bell rang, that scene in high school musical 2 kept replaying in the back of your head, the students doing a parade in front of the lockers picturing how your little heart is doing backflips in your chest right now. all the beach trips ningning planned is making you feel dizzy. you turned around to a voice calling out your name from the end of the hallway, your eyes catching the sight of sicheng jogging towards your spot. he stopped in front of you, hands on his knees catching his breath.

“are you free tomorrow night? there’s a party at guanheng’s and you know, it would be really cool if you join,” his fingers tracing onto each other, waiting patiently for your response.

you didn’t even have the time to process his invitation when ningning crashed her body against yours, yangyang following suit.

“a party? y/n would totally love to come, right?” ningning nudged your arms softly while yangyang tried to stifle a giggle. you were about to mouth out a ‘what?’ before sicheng cut you off.

“cool, you guys should come too. tomorrow at 10,” he and yangyang exchanged finger guns gestures before leaving the three of you. you just stood there in disbelief, eyeing them up and down before ningning dragged you to the parking lot. a stringful of grumbles escaped your lips, making the guy laugh obnoxiously.

“i can’t believe you guys did that,” you extended the seat belt, buckling it to the slot beside you.

“please. but you do want it, right?” you can’t deny, what she said was true. plus, you should have some fun and distress before having to go back to the usual dull routine of yours.

“how do i look?” you turn around, revealing the baby pink crop top and flare pants on your legs. it’s not your best outfit but giving the cliche excuse - you have nothing to wear, the two articles totally complements each other

“you look hot, that’s all i gotta say. right, yang?” ningning lifted her head from the headboard, glancing over at yangyang who’s going over his messages.

“yeah totally,” he lifted his hands, giving you a thumbs up. you threw a jacket onto your shoulders and grabbed the black purse on your dresser, glancing at the wall mirror one last time.

from the moment you stepped into the venue - guanheng’s place, smells of alcohol lingered around your nose, a group of people cheering ever so loudly over a game of beer pong, some already passed out on the couch. not to mention a brownish stain on the carpet - probably from someone throwing up. the mess would take a whole day to get rid off, you note to yourself. your friends are no longer to be found, both of them getting affiliated with god knows what. your eyes scanned the living room for sicheng but his presence is still nowhere to be found.

you decided to step towards the kitchen bar, pouring a drink for yourself. the mixed sweet and sour taste of it remained on your tongue for a couple of seconds. looking over at the snacks served, you grabbed a strawberry flavoured lollipop from the clear bowl. the crowd is cheering loudly for some type of incident happening at the back of the room, the music has been turned up to be a little louder than the volume before and you’re suddenly getting a little bit overwhelmed. you grabbed your purse and stepped out, inhaling some fresh air and looking up to the starry night sky.

“y/n? where have you been?” sicheng approached you from behind, making you a bit startled.

“sorry, hanging out outside can calm me. where did you go?” you popped the lollipop into your mouth.

“some jerk decided to throw up in front of me,” you pinched your nose with a disgusted expression, making him roll his eyes.

“do you want me to accompany you out here?” he offered. you just nod your head, placing yourself on the patio with him following suit. the sweetening flavour empowering your senses. it’s definitely much more calm out here, allowing you to clear up your mind. it’s not that you hate the atmosphere in the house right now, you’re just not in the mood.

“you know, you look pretty,” you turned around to meet his face. his brown eyes brimming with unconfessed love.

“shut up, stop with the jokes,” you lightly land a smack on his arms.

“what if i say i’m not joking?” he looked straight into your eyes, trying to find any emotion inside you. the sudden seriousness is making you feel much more awkward so you forced out a laugh, turning your attention right back upwards. the stars are shining brightly tonight, you can almost spot a constellation.

“i know what you’re doing, dong sicheng. just stop it already, it’s not working on me.” denial, that’s what you’re experiencing in the hot minute.

a gentle tug can be felt on your wrist, his eyes still not leaving yours.

“didn’t anyone tell you before? you’re really pretty. like, i can’t even describe it to you. you’re just,” he leaned over to caress your cheeks, “pretty,”.

what jaehyun said on the other day is true, after all.

love gives us thrill, the feeling of excitement, the feeling when you’re uncertain about something but when you have that special someone with you, you’re sure to wing it all.

your heart is beating so fast, it could fall out of your chest at any moment now. even the faint music blasting through the speakers inside the house can’t flush down the sound of your heartbeat. you’re not used to this, the sudden need of the significant skin to skin contact that symbolizes love between two individuals.

“can i?” his face in a very near proximity from yours, whispering into your right ear with his honey-like voice. you pulled the candy away from your mouth and nod, giving him the approval he needed before he dived in. heat rose from your stomach to your chest. you could only focus on how soft his crimson lips felt on yours, invading your privacy by all senses. you felt the kiss expand beyond your bodies, whirling you round, swirling you into the stars. he pulled away with a soft smile, you thought you could melt right then and there.

“wow,” that was the only word escaping your throat. your jumping heart still hasn’t settled down yet, your very first kiss still feeling surreal. you could see that sicheng is very much mirroring your emotions, his slender fingers grazing over his lips - the one that has come in contact with yours.

“the strawberry lollipop is sweet,” he commented, making the both of you laugh.

a ping from your phone awakened you from the gushy eye contact with him, unlocking it only to find yangyang’s text message. the second part of it made you fluster.

yang: yo r u coming in or what? and congrats for the kiss, we thought we’d have to wait longer for this

[angelicmark]

a montage of love (m)

part of the ‘almost’ collaboration hosted by @hyucksie​​

pairing: jaemin x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, neighbors!au, unhappy ending

warnings: explicit sex

wc: 15.3k

summary: Love was not the first thing to grace your mind when you met the man who moved into the apartment across from yours. Jaemin knows he can’t stay long, but you don’t. Creating long-lasting memories with someone who isn’t long-lasting is painful.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?”

your quick answer, no. you haven’t.

you frown as you read the words on the screen. your eyes scan the words a million times over, and it truly shouldn’t be a big deal to you. it was just a question that you already knew the answer to. you were a little unsure why it bothered you too much. it wasn’t like it was a big deal or anything. and it wasn’t like the question was apart of a quiz or anything, it was just on your screen and in front of you as you scrolled through social media.

you hum quietly to yourself before looking over to your best friend, renjun. his eyes glimmer under the light as he catches you staring. he gives you a scowl when you have a pout on your face, nodding his head at you.

“what’s up with you?” he asks quietly, and you huff.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?” you ask, looking at him with curious eyes.

renjun furrows his eyebrows, looking at you like you’re nuts, “what?” he sees the pout on your face and he visibly softens at the sight. he feels bad now, great. “um..” renjun pauses, thinking over the heavy words before slowly nodding his head. “i think i have.”

“what is it like? what does it mean?” your questions spill out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“it’s...” renjun squirms uncomfortably in his seat beside you on the couch, and he sees the curiosity lingering in your gaze. “it’s like.. falling in love with someone, impossibly too much. where your love almost feels...” he clears his throat, avoiding eye contact, “abandoned. it feels abandoned, i guess. your love for them consumes you.”

you sit back in your seat, letting out a hum, “wow,” you look at renjun and see his ears are turning slightly red as you let out a soft laugh, “i didn’t know you were so deep, renjun.”

renjun rolls his eyes, lightly kicking you and making you laugh harder, “shut up! you asked, idiot.”

you grin at him, “i didn’t think you’d actually answer. you normally don’t. you normally tell me to fuck off.” you laugh more as he rolls his eyes.

“if you ever fall in love,” he points at you, “you’ll get it.”

you nod your head, “i’ll let you know if i do.” you shrug your shoulders, “i don’t think i will though. not anytime soon, anyway.” you lean back into your seat again and stare at your phone, checking the time on your screen.

“should you be leaving soon? it’s almost midnight.” you chuckle again when you see the surprise on his face, eyes going wide as he quickly starts to gather his stuff.

“shit,” renjun mumbles, slipping his jacket over his shoulders and fumbling with his shoes as they slid on, “it’s that late already? what the fuck..”

you get up from your seat, making way to the front door to help renjun out. he gives you a bright smile as you open the door for him, “text me when you get back safe.” you say to him, watching as he walks out.

when he doesn’t respond back immediately, you almost tell him he’s being rude for not responding back, before you finally look over and notice a male trying to unlock his door across from your apartment. you frown, unaware of him moving in until now. you were guessing he was new, as that apartment hadn’t been rented out in months. renjun looks at you with an arched eyebrow, and you roll your eyes before shrugging your shoulders silently.

you mouth ‘i don’t know’ before looking back at the boy with bright blonde hair. you hear the small curse fall from his lips as he continues to struggle with the key. you giggle, looking back at renjun for a minute.

“i’ll see you later, renjun.” you wave him off, before grabbing your own key on your key hanger by your door so you don’t get locked out of your own apartment from trying to help someone else get into theirs. renjun just gives you a nod and a smile and a thumbs up. you scowl at him and he laughs, the sound echoing as he finally leaves to the elevators.

“need help?” you tilt your head as you stand in your doorway, not fully leaving your apartment without the approval of help.

the male jumps, giving you a look of surprise as his eyes go wide, and he looks at you for a few seconds. in those few seconds, you have time to admire him. he was quite handsome, and you definitely haven’t seen him before. you would remember him if you have. his nose was a perfect button nose, his lips slightly chapped but still perfectly shaped, his eyes round and a pretty brown shade, his eyebrows full. he was quite the looker.

the blonde sighs, “is it that obvious?” he speaks, his voice a lot deeper than you imagined. it was gravely and attractive.

you laugh lightly, “maybe a bit.” you finally step out of your apartment, and you notice the shock on his face, “i have my keys, don’t worry.”

he nods his head, “sorry, i’m new here.”

you shake your head, stepping beside him and holding your hand out for his key, “don’t be. i had a hard time with the locks here too when i first moved in. it took me awhile to perfect it, they can be a bit stubborn.”

he hands you the key, taking trust in you as your kind eyes glimmer under the soft light of the hallway, “thanks. i really couldn’t figure it out.”

you wave him off, shaking your head again as you stick the key in, before lifting it up and twisting, “the key is to lightly lift it up, sometimes they don’t align right. it’s a weird lock.” he watches as you unlock his door easily, not opening the door for his own privacy. you take the key out and slip it back in his hand with a smile, “there you go. if you ever need help again, just knock.”

the man nods his head, about to head inside before stopping himself and looking at you. you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, before he beats you to it. “what’s your name? so i know who i’m talking to?”

you smile at him, “y/n.”

he nods his head, “jaemin.”

you hold your hand out for him, giving him another warm smile, “nice to meet you, jaemin.” he grasps his hand in yours, and his grip is more firm than yours but his hands are quite soft to the touch. you falter a bit, feeling how soft his hand is and how his eyes scan your features with a glint you can’t quite pinpoint.

“nice to meet you, y/n.” your name sounded pretty coming out of his mouth, and he felt the same way about you saying his name. he was oddly attracted to you and your friendly nature, but he remained cautious. he was unsure if you were dating the man who left your apartment just minutes ago, so he kept his distance. jaemin smiles at you, and you realize he has perfect teeth as well. you want to curse at him for being so damn pretty, but you remain silent as you smile back gingerly.

“i’ll see you around, since you’re literally living across from me,” you let go of his hand and chuckle a bit.

he laughs back, his smile brightening up the whole damn room, “definitely.” he nods, giving you another polite smile before entering his apartment as you go to unlock yours.

when you finally make it inside your own apartment, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. since when did your complex start having hot guys living across from you? the last person to live across from you was an old lady and her cat. she was nice, but ended up living in a nursing home and moving out. the apartment had been empty for months after that, so this was quite the surprise. especially with it being someone as attractive as jaemin.

you run your hands over your face as you sigh again, very slowly releasing air from your lungs. “what the fuck..” you whisper to yourself, going to your room to change and get ready for bed. you jump as you slip your shirt over your head after completely changing, hearing your phone ring. you knew it was renjun, smiling to yourself as you pick up the phone and sit on your bed.

“i’m home, dork,” he drags out the last syllable of his sentence, and you scoff at him.

“thanks for letting me know,” you say, holding the phone against your ear as you hear the laugh renjun lets out on the other line.

“who was the dude across from you?” he asks, curiosity lacing his voice.

“someone really, really hot.” you gush, and you hear another booming laugh from renjun.

“wait, really?? do you know him?” renjun seems invested now, a smile being heard from his tone.

you roll your eye, “i don’t. he just told me his name before we parted ways after i helped with unlocking his door.”

“what’s his name?” he quickly asks, and you can already imagine him teasing you for having a hot guy living across from you.

“why should i tell you? you’re just going to tease me.” you fire back at him, a pout on your face.

renjun chuckles, “for knowing his name? c’mon, just tell me. i’m your best friend, remember? we tell each other everything, and it’s just his name, dude.”

you pause, “jaemin. his name is jaemin.”

“oooh,” you can hearing the taunting tone in his voice, making you scoff again and scowl.

“i wish you could see the distate on my face right now.”

“i can hear it, babe.” renjun grins, knowing you can’t see it but also knowing you can hear it.

you shift in your seat, making a fake hurling noise, “gross, don’t ever call me that.”

“whatever, i need to go to bed now. just wanted to know what was up with the dude across from you,” renjun states. “you should get some rest, too.” he quickly adds.

you smile, “aww, is renjun worried?” you coo at him, and you can already see the roll of his eyes and the scowl on his face.

“shut up, go to bed.” he snarls, “i am worried when our time together gets snatched away when you have a messed up sleep schedule. who else am i supposed to bother?”

“umm, hyuck?” you say like it’s obvious, making a face that you knew he couldn’t see.

“he actually annoys me, you don’t.” you’re about to counterattack his statement, but he doesn’t let you. “goodnight, go to sleep.”

you laugh, deciding to let it go, “goodnight, renjun.”

he hangs up, making you smile to yourself as you place your phone back down on your nightstand. you stretch your limbs, hearing a couple bones crack in the process before laying down. your eyes fall heavy within seconds, slipping easily into sleep as your mind becomes fuzzed by the man living across from you.

you were almost certain the two of you would end up talking more, and the thought excited you.

you hoped to become closer to jaemin.

“open the door, idiot!”

you huff as a reply, clearly struggling as you hold at least three bags in each of your hands, trying to scuff out your key in your pocket. grocery shopping with renjun had to have always been a hassle, especially when the two of you finally made it back to your apartment.

“take these,” you hand him three bags from one hand, and he scoffs playfully like a spoiled brat. “do you want the door open or not?” you raise an eyebrow.

“just open it. it doesn’t help that your apartment doesn’t have strong heaters in the hallways when it’s like three degrees outside.” renjun hurries you, gesturing towards your door with a free hand.

you laugh, quickly unlocking your door, but just as you unlock it, a familiar male walks up behind the two of you towards his own door. your handsome, gorgeous neighbor. renjun catches your eye, before adverting his gaze to the man behind the both of you. renjun’s eyes grow wide, and he smiles even brighter.

“i’ll take these!” he grabs your bags from you and hops inside and closes the door in front of you before you can really think about it. you gasp, eyes going wide in shock. you really could not believe him sometimes.

“fuck,” you grunt, pulling out your key again and trying to unlock your door as quickly as you could.

“did he just lock you out?” jaemin asks, and you whip your head in his direction, just to see a soft smile painting his pretty lips.

“no, i have my key, but it’s hard to unlock the door. i think you would know that best, huh?” you grin, and he sheepishly looks away for a split second before turning back to you.

“is your relationship always like that with him?” he questions, tilting his head in curiosity. he was afraid that curiosity would kill the cat right now. he was afraid of you confirming you were actually dating the man who just slammed your own door in front of your face.

“hm? renjun?” you look at him with furrowed eyebrows, “oh, we’re just friends, if that’s what you’re implying. but, yeah. we’re always like that with each other.”

jaemin feels his chest suddenly turn lighter, and he feels better about the whole entire situation between the two of you. he finds himself to be oddly infatuated with you after only really meeting with you twice in the apartment hallways. it was a refreshing feeling, for some reason, being around you. he really liked it, and your aura was calm and collected. someone he feels he could confide in. maybe he was thinking too quickly and rushing ahead, but you surely did give him a good impression. jaemin just guessed he was someone who became attached to people with good intentions very easily.

“ah, sorry for intruding, or something. i guess, maybe, i was curious.” jaemin answers this honestly, and you actually quite like his honesty.

you chuckle under your breath, “of me, or of him?”

jaemin smiles brightly, “you.”

for some reason, you weren’t really expecting him to be so straightforward, it caught you by surprise, making you widen your eyes and laugh in nervousness. “oh,” you laugh again, “i’m.. curious of you, too. if it helps.”

jaemin nods, watching as you lick your lips and give him a sweet look, “it does, it really does.” he pauses, before continuing, “am i being weird? i don’t mean to be, like, creepy or anything-” jaemin’s eyes go wide as he realizes how weird this may all seem to you.

you smile at him, letting out a laugh that makes jaemin stop breathing just so he can hear it, “it’s just a bit weird, i’m not sure i can trust someone as pretty as you.” you tilt your head, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

he chuckles lowly, “i could say the same for you. but i promise i’m not, like, weird. i just want to.. get to know you, i guess.”

“you guess?” you stare accusingly, and laugh at his shocked expression.

“i do, i do want to get to know you. i’m sure of it.” he quickly lets out.

your giggle rings in his ears, “you can breathe, jaemin. i’m just teasing..” you shift where you stand, “i’d like to get to know you, too.”

jaemin lets out a breath of relief, making you smile to yourself, ��okay, great.”

“renjun’s in there, and mostly likely listen, so i should probably get inside now. plus it’s freezing out here, but i’ll talk to you more soon.” you smile warmly, and he can’t stop from smiling back. you turn towards your door, going to unlock it.

“alright, uh, do you want my number or-”

“some other time,” you interrupt him, “meeting in the hallway randomly is more fun.” you quickly unlock your door and swing it open, closing it behind you as you slip in with a sly smile on your face.

jaemin feels tingly as he watches you close the door while gazing sweetly and slyly at him. he was becoming more and more curious of you, and he enjoyed the excitement and thrill he got from you. in some ways, he liked how much he thought of you. maybe you were bad news, or dangerous territory. or maybe you were someone to call his own. he had no idea. but he really wanted to know.

either way, he needed to know.

stretching your limbs, you give a sweet smile towards renjun’s direction. he huffs in his seat, clearly displeased with you at the moment. your dynamic with renjun was quite a pair, and you actually really loved renjun’s attitude and every thing about him. renjun made it easy to be yourself, and you appreciated him lots.

“just tell me about him,” renjun urges you, scooting closer to you in his seat beside you on the couch. “tell me about this mysterious man living across from you.” he was completely intrigued. and extremely pushy.

you groan, “it’s not even the slightest a big deal, idiot. he just lives across from me.”

“but i heard every thing, i think we both know that by now.” renjun grins, and you scoff.

“you shouldn’t be spying on people, it’s weird.” you adjust in your seat to sit criss-cross.

renjun grabs the bowl of pop on the coffee table and eats a few pieces before speaking, “i have to make sure you’re alright, one way or another.”

“you’re just nosey, renjun.” you cross your arms this time and lean back into the arm of the couch.

“shut up.” he says curtly.

you breathe out a soft laugh, “you already heard every thing, it doesn’t matter what else i tell you.”

“i’m curious what you think of him,” renjun eats while staring at you with interest.

“he’s cute.” you state, and renjun gestures with his hand that you continue, making you roll your eyes. “i don’t know! i’ve only seen the dude like twice and only talked to him twice. it’s hard to take judgement.”

“that’s fair.” renjun shrugs.

there’s a long pause between the both of you, and you can feel renjun’s lingering gaze on you. you shoot him a look, “what?”

renjun shrugs again, “nothing, really. just keep an eye out for him, it’s always the pretty ones.”

you snort, “it’s not like i’m going to fall in love with him after seeing him twice.”

“only time really tells,” renjun stuffs his face again, looking away from you and towards his phone.

you sit silently after that, letting yourself consume in your thoughts alone. renjun might have been right, but you really didn’t see yourself falling for jaemin. maybe it was too early to tell. would it have been bad if you did?

“you okay? you look sick,” renjun raises an eyebrow at you, staring curiously.

you swallow, nodding your head, “yeah, i’m fine. just a bit tired, i guess.” you grab your glass of water from the table, taking two large gulps.

renjun nods, “me too. i should probably get going about now.” renjun gets up from his spot on your couch, stretching his arms out and placing the bowl of popcorn on the table. “keep me updated on jaemin. he’s the most interesting part about you right now.”

you huff, “shut up, dick.”

renjun laughs, heading towards the door and opening it, “i’ll see you later, cutie.”

you lean back, “bye, renjun.”

renjun nods, before leaving with a smug smile on his face and making you roll your eyes as he shuts your door. renjun put a lot of thoughts inside your head that night, and none of them felt good. you end up rolling around in bed, thinking of all the possibilities you could have with your new neighbor.

it was a long, long night to yourself.

“i told you, renjun. i’ll get it done.” you huff out a reply, finishing brushing your teeth as he stands in the bathroom doorway.

“when? because it definitely won’t be this lifetime at this rate.” renjun looks accusingly, and you roll your eyes.

“when i have time.”

“so, never.” you roll your eyes again and walk away from him, slithering past him through the doorway. renjun scoffs as you ignore him, “essays don’t write themselves, you know.”

you pause in your footsteps, sighing and hanging your head low before turning around to face him, “i’m aware. i’ll get it done, renjun. promise.”

renjun feels wary, but trusts you anyway, “sure.”

“i have to check the mail, i’ll be right back.” you state, grabbing your apartment key before leaving. renjun simply nods his head, plopping himself onto your couch.

heading towards the elevator, you press the button. you stand patiently, before catching sight of someone heading your way from down the hallway. you’re not exactly surprised when you see jaemin come into view, but you didn’t really expect it either. jaemin furrows his eyebrows, before giving you a cute smile. you can’t stop the small smile you give back.

“where are you heading?” he asks first, giving you a curious look.

“mailbox,” you shift on your feet as the elevator opens and the both of you step in.

jaemin nods, “weird. i am, too.”

you snort, “really?”

jaemin chuckles lightly, “nah, but i can accompany you, anyway. i was actually heading to the store, but i have some time to spare.”

you shake your head, “you don’t have to,” you smile sweetly, “i can go alone.”

jaemin lightly bumps you with his elbow, smiling softly, “i don’t mind. unless you just really don’t want to be around me.”

your eyes go wide, “no, of course not. i mean, i don’t mind. you can come.” you panic in your spot as the elevator doors ding open.

jaemin laughs breathily, and you learn you like the sound. he follows you out as you head towards the room with all of the mailboxes. it was more convenient that you had indoor mailboxes, rather than outdoor. that had to be one thing you really liked about this complex.

as you open the little mailbox, jaemin nods at you, “anything good?”

you laugh, shaking your head, “not really. just a few ads.” you sort through your mail, scanning over it.

“might as well check mine,” jaemin moves towards you, opening the mailbox right under yours. you watch him carefully as he pulls out quite a few papers from his box.

“anything good?” you repeat his own words, and he laughs quietly.

“nope, not really.” he’s vague in his answer, but you don’t really mind.

you nod your head, “looks like we both got a bad set of mail then, huh?”

jaemin chuckles and adverts his eyes away from his mail finally, “yeah, i guess so.”

“still going to the store?” you walk out of the room, heading towards the elevator, but stopping to talk to jaemin.

he nods his head, “yeah, i have to pick up a few things.” jaemin pauses, looking at you longingly before finally speaking again, “i like your presence.”

“we’ve only talked three times,” you state, feeling your nerves start to bubble up.

jaemin licks his lips, a gentle smile gracing his face, “yeah, but i already have a good feeling about you. is that weird?”

you go silent for a few minutes, before nodding, “yeah, just a bit.”

jaemin laughs, “sorry, i don’t mean to-”

“but i feel the same way about you.” you interject, and jaemin can’t stop the bright smile he gives you. you realize you really like his smile, too. he was gorgeous, the prettiest you’ve ever seen. it was strange to think that he could possibly find you interesting, or that he liked being around you in such a short amount of time, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain.

jaemin lets the air linger for just a bit longer, before nodding his head, “i’ll see you around, neighbor.”

you smile back, “of course.” and you like the way he stares for just a bit longer, before heading out of the lobby. you like his bright smile that you think of all the way back to your apartment. you like the feeling of warmth you get thinking of the fact that he likes your presence. you like the feeling jaemin gives you in just such a short amount of time. maybe it was dangerous, and obviously too quick. but you really liked feeling like this.

when you unlock your apartment door, renjun gives you a stare, “i heard him leave his apartment. did you see him?”

you roll your eyes, “you are so damn nosey.”

renjun just laughs, clearly agreeing with you.

you and jaemin have met a few more times at random hours of the day after that within the next month, and you started to learn some things about him along the way. he likes to ruffle his hair a bit when he’s thinking, or when he feels a bit nervous. he has a tendency to overthink everything he says. he has a habit of licking his lips when he’s in deep thought, or realizes something. you learned a bit too much about him in such a short amount of time, but you really enjoyed his company along the way.

“oh, you have laundry, too?” you hear a familiar, deep voice that makes your spine shiver.

you whip your head around, eyes wide out of shock, “holy shit, you scared me.”

the black haired male laughs, “sorry, didn’t mean to.”

“it’s fine, it’s fine. just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” you continue throwing your clothes in the dryer, calming down a bit. jaemin dyed his hair black just about a week ago, and you find the color to suit him just a bit better. you liked blonde, too. but the black hair just looked prettier, in your opinion.

“you would know if you had my number,” jaemin sings quietly, placing his pile of clothes onto the dryer next to yours. you didn’t see him take them out of the washer, but he must have because they were damp.

you giggle a bit, and jaemin enjoys the sound, “you got me there.” you pause a bit. you knew you could trust him with your number, but a part of you liked meeting up at random times of the day, or night. maybe you were even scared to get closer than this.

“it’s fine, by the way. i’m not going to pressure you into giving me your number, i was just making a joke.” he’s overthinking. you can tell when he starts to speak a bit faster than usual, ushering out his words so he can quickly make his point.

you shake your head, smiling softly, “no, no. i think i should give you my number about now. it’s been like, what? almost two months?” you raise an eyebrow teasingly, holding out your hand, “give me your phone, i’ll put it in.”

jaemin freezes in his spot, eyes going a bit wide, “uh, wait, you don’t have-”

“i know, but i want to.” you state firmly, and jaemin swallows before nodding his head and handing you his phone. you place your number in quickly, adding your contact with your name in it. you weren’t sure how far this would take it into your acquaintance, or friendship or whatever, with him but you were prepared either way.

“nice, now i can text you whenever i want.” jaemin smiles.

“or call, i like calls a bit better.” you close the lid of the dryer after adding a dryer sheet, and jaemin begins to place his clothes in finally and following your steps.

“i’ll call then.” jaemin feels giddy at the thought of finally having your number, and being able to talk to you basically whenever he wants to.

you nod your head, smiling to yourself, “i look forward to it, jaemin.”

jaemin likes the way you say his name, and he likes the way you smile at him after. he likes the feeling you give him too, much to your unknowing. maybe jaemin was being a bit selfish at the moment, but he wanted to have you around for as long as he could.

jaemin has taken a liking towards you.

“so, you finally have his number?” renjun looks at you with teasing eyes, and you already want to shove him out of your apartment.

you huff out a breath, “no, i don’t, renjun. i gave him mine.”

renjun’s quiet for a few seconds, but you can see the bright smile lingering on his face from the corner of your eye. “has he texted or called yet?” renjun leans his head in his hand at the breakfast counter, turning his body to fully face you.

“nope,” you state. renjun hums, and you’re afraid to ask what he’s thinking. “what?”

“nothing, really. you could always just go visit him whenever you want, especially since he lives right across from you.” renjun has such a sweet smile on his face, but you hate when he gets really sweet like this. it’s never exactly a good thing.

“i’m not doing that.” you finally fully look over at him, giving him a serious look as to erase all future thoughts from his head.

renjun raises his hands up in defense, “i’m just saying! i wasn’t gonna do anything.” you squint your eyes at him, and renjun laughs. “i’m serious. it’s not my love life, i’m not going to interfere.”

you nod your head, looking warily, “okay, thank you.” you go back to highlighting parts of your notes for your homework, before whipping your head around with wide eyes after realizing what he just said, “love life?!”

renjun laughs extremely loud, echoing throughout the whole entire apartment. and you almost miss the way your phone starts ringing in your pocket. you jump in surprise, before glaring at renjun when he laughs harder at your expense. you slide your phone out of your pocket, checking the caller briefly.

“fucking hell,” you mutter. the world had to be against you.

“who is it?” renjun calms down, sounding out of breath from laughing too much.

you roll your eyes, but smile softly, “unknown number.”

renjun’s eyes go wide, and he suddenly looks like a kid on christmas, “it has to be jaemin, answer it! i’m not here, just answer it.”

you scoff, but answer anyway, “hello?” best case scenario it wasn’t jaemin, and it was just someone who got the wrong-

“hey, y/n right?”

fuck.

his voice was even gorgeous through call. most times it was a muffled sound, but even when his voice is muffled it still sounds heavenly. you feel a tingle down your spine at the sound, and you genuinely think you could fall asleep listening to him.

“jaemin?” you knew it was him.

“hey, thank fuck. i was really hoping you didn’t give me a pizza place number, or something.” jaemin lets out a sweet chuckle that rings through your ears.

you see renjun smiling from ear to ear, and you glare back before answering jaemin with a laugh of your own, “i wouldn’t do that. especially since we’re neighbors.” and he was a sweet guy with a beautiful face, but you weren’t going to say that in front of renjun, or jaemin.

jaemin could feel his heart start to pick up at the sound of your voice. in your own little way, you were enchanting to jaemin already. being neighbors with you was such a lucky shot, and he felt glad to stay here for the time being. he knew he couldn’t stay forever, but you were such a fresh breath of air that he almost wanted to. the odds were always against him, until he seemed to have met you.

“still there?” you speak, and it makes jaemin’s palms start to sweat, almost dropping his phone out of his hand.

“yeah, sorry, i got distracted for a minute.” jaemin pauses, before continuing, “are you busy this weekend?” he felt bold today, maybe too bold.

your eyes divert to renjun, and he just gestures with his hands to keep talking, “no, i’m not.”

and jaemin nods his head, as if you could see him, “great, uh.. would you like to hang out.. or something?” jaemin felt incredibly nervous, too nervous for his liking. he felt like a dumb middle schooler boy who didn’t know how to ask a girl out. you made him more nervous than he could handle, but he couldn’t say it was completely a bad thing. he hasn’t felt this way for anyone in a really long time. you were his fresh start while he still had you.

you lick your lips, feeling your stomach start to twist at the thought of actually hanging out with him and not just wandering around the apartment with him at random hours. “of course, i would love to.” you smile anyway, and you just know renjun is teasing you for it in his mind right now.

“great, i’ll text you this weekend. i don’t really have anything planned, if i’m being honest. i sort of went out on a whim there,” jaemin laughs nervously, and you find it cute.

“it’s alright, we’ll figure out what to do.” you feel giddy and excited, mentally preparing yourself to actually be around him for more than thirty minutes.

“great, alright, i’ll see you then.”

“alright, bye, jaemin.” he really, really likes the way you say his name.

“bye, y/n.”

hanging up, you see renjun with the biggest shit eating grin on his face than you have ever fucking seen.

“so...”

“don’t even start, renjun.” you place your hand up, interrupting him.

renjun laughs, “what?! i didn’t even say anything!”

“you’re going to call it a date.”

“is that not what it is?”

you slap his arm, and he doesn’t stop laughing in your face for the rest of the night about it.

“you cannot get enough of me, can you?” you say it in a sly voice, a smirk on your face as renjun rolls his eyes.

“i get bored easily and you’re fun to mess with,” renjun walks through your door and you frown.

“i didn’t say come in.”

“too late,” renjun smiles, and you scoff. “so, when’s your date?”

“will you ever let that go?” you plop on the couch the same time he does.

“nope.” he smiles sweetly, and you huff. “so, when is it?”

you give up reasoning with him, leaning back into your couch, “tomorrow. i’m not even sure what we’re going to do.”

renjun nods, “there’s not really much to do.”

you cross your legs, “yeah, i know. maybe we’ll get coffee, or something.”

“most likely. not a bad date, if you ask me.” renjun grins, and you roll your eyes, but smile back anyway.

your dynamic with renjun was quite different, but you found it to be in a good way. you play fought a lot, and nothing was ever really taken seriously and the two of you knew when to draw the line. you only really knew renjun for a few years now, meeting in junior year of high school and becoming extremely close. you grew to know both him, and his small group of friends. he wasn’t exactly the most social of them all, but he knew who to pick and choose to be his friends. being around renjun was like having a brother, and you thought maybe you would end up finding him more annoying as the years increased but you never did. safe to say, you do love renjun.

you stretch your arms upwards, “why are you here?”

“i’m always here,” renjun raises an eyebrow at you, and you shrug.

“touché.”

your mind subconsciously wanders back towards jaemin as renjun starts to scroll on his phone. you clearly haven’t known him long enough, but you wanted to know him long enough. you had no idea what he meant for you in the future, but you were just hoping you wouldn’t regret anything.

and you didn’t. but maybe past you hoped it ended differently.

“you good?” renjun asks out of habit.

you nod your head, “yeah, why?”

“you look deep in thought.” he looks curious.

“just a bit, yeah.” and you were telling the truth. you weren’t going to admit you were thinking of jaemin, obviously, but you couldn’t help the way you felt when you did think of him. it was like having a crush in high school or something, and you felt almost embarrassed to admit it to yourself.

“is it about jaemin? if you’re worried, i’m sure it’ll be fine.” renjun looks sincere, “you can always call me if you need something, or someone.” renjun quite obviously had a soft spot for you, believe it or not. and you appreciated him like no other.

“thank you, renjun. i appreciate it.” you smile, giving him a soft look.

he nods back, “of course, anything for you.”

“you’re so mushy for me,” you drag out the last syllable, scooting closer to him on the couch and hugging onto his arm, nuzzling your face into it.

renjun scoffs and pulls a disgusted face, trying to wiggle away from you, “i’m just looking out for you, weirdo. can’t have you feeling uncomfortable, or anything.”

you love how thoughtful he is, and you truly do feel lucky to have him, “thanks, dude.”

he chuckles, “yeah, yeah. whatever.” he tries to sound nonchalant, but he has a sweet grin on his face, letting you know he really, truly does care a lot for you. “now, what are you going to wear on your date?”

you groan, “oh my god.”

your fingers are cold. freezing even. you can feel your whole entire body light afire, except your fingers. they’re cold to the touch, and you can feel the way your bones start to ache in the process. you let out a soft heave, easily slipping out of your mattress to be met with the cold, hardwood floor. maybe you should have worn socks to sleep, just that once.

your mind feels muddled as you check the screen on your phone for the first time this morning. renjun’s name flickers by as you scan your notifications, but jaemin’s name seems to stick out the most. he sent you a text about an hour ago.

you decide to call him, a confident feeling swelling within your chest as you listen to the rings. maybe you shouldn’t have called, but there really wasn’t any going back now. especially not when you heard the call skip a beat, signaling someone had picked up.

“hello?” his voice is shaky, and you feel nerves start to rise within you.

“still on for today?” you try to sound composed, but you knew you weren’t. it was a fake.

a rumbled chuckle emits into the speaker, “of course, are you?”

“of course.” you want to stop the smile spreading on your face and reaching your cheekbones, but you can’t.

“are you home?” he asks quietly, as if he was reaching for something far away and accidentally moved the phone away from his face.

you clutch onto your phone a bit tighter, “i am.”

“can i come over?” jaemin had no plans. maybe he just simply wanted to be around you and get to know you better, bit by bit. he knew it was a bold move to ask if he could enter your apartment so early, but he was hoping you would agree. he wanted to feel the blatant aroma your own personal home had.

you shift in your spot, “let me throw on some warmer clothes really quick.” you shiver as you finally stand, quickly reaching for a hoodie and some leggings. you didn’t need to impress him. you couldn’t find a need to.

“alright, let me know when you’re ready.” jaemin has a smile gleaming on his features, much to his dismay. he hangs up before you reply, his nerves starting to eat him alive already. he asked to go over, so why is he so damn nervous?

you let out a shaky breath of air as you quickly fix your hair and throw on a pair of warm socks. were you really about to let your neighbor into your comfort zone? you thought it over for a few minutes and figured, yes, you were. sending a quick text to jaemin, you anticipate the next few minutes as you wait for a knock on the door. you almost jump when you hear the clatter of his door opening and closing, and then a few quick knocks on your own door.

swinging open the door, you’re met with the same black haired male you had seen several times in random areas of your apartment complex. he looks the same as always, still just as breathtaking as the last time you saw him. up close, you’re still never quite used to how truly pretty he can be. the hallway lights glimmer above him and illuminate a soft glow on his cheeks, making him just the more appealing.

“hey,” you start after a few seconds of embarrassingly staring. maybe jaemin noticed, or maybe he didn’t. either way, he didn’t bring it up or imply that he noticed.

“hey,” his voice is gravely and it makes you tug just softly at the sleeves of your hoodie.

you move away from your doorway, nerves spiking up within the both of you. “come in.” you don’t sound unsure of yourself, and you knew you weren’t.

jaemin slowly slides in, listening as you close the door behind him. he catches sight of the pale grey couch you have in the middle of the living room, eyes scanning the breakfast bar just a couple feet away. it was a small, convenient apartment and looked almost identical to his own. but your place definitely had a different feeling from his. yours felt warmer, a lot warmer. it was more of a home than it was a place to stay, and he soon realized your differences because of it. you had a home, and he just had a place to live. he can’t seem to stop the tugging at his heart as he watches you trudge towards the kitchen.

“want a water?” you have an inviting voice that makes jaemin want to get lost in.

“uh, sure.” his throat feels dry, looking around and seeing a hallway the most likely connects to your room, along with a bathroom.

“here you go,” you’re holding two water bottles. one for him, one for you. he hastily takes it from your hand, opening it with ease and taking a few large gulps. “do you like my place? sorry if it’s a bit dirty, i wasn’t expecting you to come in, or anything.”

jaemin smiles softly, “it’s nice. i like how warm it is in here.” he wasn’t lying. not in the slightest bit was he lying.

“great, i’m glad.” you smile back, and jaemin feels his cheeks start to rise in heat already. he wasn’t used to feeling this way, he felt so unsure. “so, why did you move here?”

jaemin hums, “hm, it was a cheap offer and..” he was nervous. he couldn’t bring himself to be honest with you and tell you the reason why he was truly here. he couldn’t tell you that the other reason was because he knew it wouldn’t be long before he left. again. again and again, he leaves. “and a little far from the loud street noises. last place i stayed was too loud for my liking.” he wasn’t lying, not completely. his last apartment was actually too loud and prompted him to get constant headaches. it wasn’t the slightest comfortable.

“ah, makes sense.” you nod your head, and jaemin finds the slightest gesture endearing. he hoped he wasn’t dreaming when you lured him towards the couch, patting the side beside you. “come sit.”

jaemin had no plans. absolutely zero. but this was definitely better than anything he could have possibly came up with if he did plan. maybe he was a bit immature for getting excited and giddy at the thought of sitting so close to you, in your own apartment, but he couldn’t exactly help it. slipping himself next to you, he’s welcomed to a warm and comforting smile by you.

“i like your smile.”

embarrassing. truly embarrassing.

jaemin catches himself slapping a hand over his mouth, eyes just as wide as yours. the statement caught both of you by surprise, but his heart brightened when you let out the sweetest laugh he had ever heard in all his years of living. the smile reached your eyes, and the sound echoed through his ears and crawled within his bones. he could feel the aching.

“i like yours, too. thank you, jaemin.” his name falling from your lips sounded so effortlessly. and you’ll admit that it felt effortlessly, too.

“thanks” he sounds sheepish, and you can see the way his ears light up a cute red, pink dusting his cheeks from shame. you could tease him further, but decided against it. normally, you would have. but something about jaemin made you feel more cautious and careful, and you couldn’t say it was a bad thing. you just certainly didn’t want to chase him off so soon. he had a bambi-like personality in your eyes, and you didn’t want to ruin whatever this was so far.

you take a sip of your water, and jaemin watches as you swallow it down. everything you do seems to be so graceful, and he almost felt blinded by everything you do. when you place the bottle of water onto the small table in front of the couch, he follows your lead and places his own next to yours. the cold liquid along the edges of the water bottle quickly fall onto the glass table, creating a ring around it. the air fills with silence between the two of you, and it feels almost tense.

“you tend to overthink things, don’t you?” you read him too well. it was a bit scary on his end.

jaemin shifts in his seat, clearing his throat as he looks away from the water, “yeah, just a bit.”

you chuckle under your breath, “we’ve been silent for almost two minutes, jaemin. you seem to have a lot on your mind most of the time.”

jaemin nods, “yeah, sorry about that. i’m not sure i’ll ever be able to fix something like that.” the soft laugh jaemin let's out is quiet and airy, but you like the sound anyway.

“don’t be sorry,” your fingers are cold again. “i get that way, too. i try not to, but it always seems to just creep back up on me, i guess.” you shrug your shoulders, tugging on the ends of your sleeves again to warm up your hands.

“it’s a bad habit of mine, much like the many others i have.” jaemin admits this absentmindedly, not really thinking much of it this time.

“you can say whatever with me.” you confirm a trustworthy presence, and jaemin desperately wants to take you up on the offer. he knows that, deep within, he won’t be able to.

“thank you, same goes for you.” jaemin places a faux smile on his face, despite his heart thrumming in his chest and his stomach stirring in endless nerves. you’ve been in the same room for almost thirty minutes now, and he still hasn’t calmed down. you can’t really say you’re doing any better than him, but neither of you know what the other is thinking, or feeling.

“thank you,” you don’t stop offering soft, unspoken smiles for the rest of the time he’s with you. and it starts to feel easier, and easier as time rolls by and you’re both eating lunch together. lunch turns into evening into dinner into late. it feels almost surreal spending so much time together, even going for a coffee run in between. you discovered that day that jaemin quite thoroughly enjoys his coffee, and you can smell the constant coffee on his clothes when he steps just a bit closer to you than usual.

jaemin discovers the same day that you are a refreshing piece in his life that he’s happy to know, and glad to have. time will tear the two of you apart, but as he watches you laugh at a joke he exclaims, he can’t find it in himself to worry about time. he can’t find it in himself to worry about the future, or what it will look like for him.

time stood still around you.

it was late, so late. you felt like you were on top of the world for the first time in a very, very long time. you wore a dress just this once, a cute sundress that contrasted to the dark night. jaemin sat peacefully on the edge of your bed, eyes watching the way yours glaze over in slight tiredness and excitement. it was late, so damn late. but you were loving the tightening feeling you get in your chest every time you catch jaemin staring at you with shiny, struck eyes. it was euphoric and exhilarating. don’t go away, don’t make this feeling go away. you were silently pleading.

“do you like music?” you question with a tilt of your head, staring right through him.

his breath hitches a little, “i do.”

you nod, “who doesn’t?”

you catch yourself admiring the way jaemin looks under the moonlight as a small candle wax warmer plugged into the wall illuminates the room just as much as the moon does. his eyes sparkled watching you, and you tried your best not to notice. but it was hard not to. you felt like you were getting caught up in the little things, but you found the little things to be what always mattered to you. maybe there was an open door for you, without you even knowing.

jaemin enjoys the way your eyes flitter around the room and the way you look out the window towards the moon, before returning your gaze back onto him. it’s a whirlwind of emotions that come crashing down on him when he realizes that you’ve snuck your way into his world. his silently, kept world. and he feels his head on his shoulders so suddenly, and he feels his heart starting to break apart his ribcage. he feels the way his hands suddenly reach out for you, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him.

he feels himself reaching. reaching for you.

and you feel yourself collapse into him, abruptly being pulled into the secrecy of his hold. it’s so intense, and you both can feel fires being started inside your stomachs. jaemin knows this could possibly ruin everything, and completely start something new between the both of you. but he also knows that if he doesn’t do anything now, he’ll regret it forever. over the course of three months of simply getting to know you, be around you, it’s consumed him whole and burned him into something possibly greater. something more new, more bold, more needy. jaemin didn’t realize how selfish his actions may have been, or what the future could ever hold for him, or for you. jaemin was needy, so damn needy.

maybe a part of him was hoping you would cure him. cure him of the never ending cycle he seemed to be repeating. he was stuck. he was hoping you would get him out.

jaemin is taking, and taking. the moment he feels your lips press against his own, he feels himself slip away. the reality of the situation he put himself in, falls to pieces and crumbles beneath his feet. nothing felt real, yet everything felt too real. the way your hand shakily pressed against his cheek and felt the warmth beneath them, the way you curled your other hand into his hair and softly tugged, emitting a soft noise of approval to fall past his lips and into your own. jaemin had no idea what he was doing. he had absolutely no fucking clue. all he knew was that he had you here with him, in his hold, in the comforts of your room. jaemin knew little to nothing what he was doing. he fell into a deeper hole than he could ever get out of, but he regrets nothing. especially not when you kiss him deeper, stronger, more shallow. especially not when he feels his hands trail along your thighs to feel just how warm your skin is beneath your dress. especially not when you clamber clumsily into his lap, not breaking a single second of the kiss.

especially not when he has you.

selfish, he hears a whisper in his head, so selfish.

you were shocked. you were stunned into a kissing silence, but you couldn’t exactly bring yourself out of it. you didn’t want to, not in the slightest did you want to let go of this very moment. have you ever felt a closeness like this before? certainly not. no, definitely not. and that’s not to say you’ve never kissed anyone. you’ve just never felt the shaking in your hands the way you did then. you’ve never felt the pit of your stomach rise up and consume you into a hot, searing want and need of another’s touch. you’ve never felt so connected and lost at the same time while being with someone. and you found it more special than your heart intended it to be.

kissing jaemin was not the same as kissing the rest. you’ve learned the hard way tonight.

and it all goes by faster than what jaemin, or you, had in mind. kisses turned rough and needy, hands hastily grasping at one another like you need each other. and maybe jaemin believed that he did need you. and it had shaken him like a leaf the night, holding you so close and locking you into his embrace.

“we don’t..” jaemin’s out of breath, lips swollen and a bright pink. you like the sight before you, “we don’t have to do anything.”

you tilt your head in confusion, rolling your hips down into his own in want and need. the breathy sigh jaemin exhales is enough to excite you, making you want more and more, “we don’t.” you agree with him.

jaemin looks at you for a solid ten seconds, even opting to count in his head for how long the tension was held, before kissing you once again and taking you as his own. jaemin is taking, and taking, and taking. and you would let him a thousand times over, if it meant him staying and being close like this forever. you enjoyed the feeling he gave you, maybe a bit too much. it felt like he was worshipping you, rather than getting ready to fuck you senseless. you weren’t exactly opposed to either, though.

“i don’t have a condom,” jaemin announces when you’re splayed beneath him, looking as beautiful as ever. he had never seen a sight so heart wrenching until then, and he wanted to blame the ache in his heart for being so reckless with his feelings.

you let a soft laugh that echoes into the air and makes its way into jaemin’s soul, “don’t worry, i’m on the pill. please, i need you.”

you need him. and he wishes it were in more ways than one. but then that would be plain selfish, right..? right?

jaemin’s body shakes when he enters you, “you’re so tight, and warm.” he huffs out a breath, and listens to the way you let out a pleased sound. you felt like you were on fire, body heating up with his own and clutching desperately onto his shoulders. he could feel the sharp parts of your nails starting to dig deeper and deeper into his skin, but he didn’t mind. he didn’t mind at all, actually.

“move,” you let out a shaky breath, “please, move.”

jaemin has so self control around you, and he finds it just slightly dangerous. when he begins to move, a shock runs up and down your spine. he watches the way your eyes roll back into your head, and he let’s out a soft groan of his own. the sight of you, the sound of you, the feel of you. it’s all too much for him, and yet not enough at the same time.

jaemin feels himself straining the more he fucks into his, and you can feel him pulsing inside you, hitting right where you need him most. it feel so good, so fucking good. you never want to let go of him. you never want to let go of this moment, this memory.

“you feel so.. so good,” he utters out sweet words that sends a chill through your whole entire body.

“you, too. god, you too. you’re fucking me.. so well.” your response is breathy, a choked moan leaving you as he speeds up his pace just a bit more.

nothing felt wrong. nothing felt out of place in jaemin’s world. not when it came to you. and you could confidently say the same thing for him. maybe it was fast, too fast. everything seemed to be moving by within a blink of an eye, but you just felt so.. happy. so content. you were lost in a world where jaemin took over, and you couldn’t complain. not even once could you complain.

when jaemin feels himself getting close, leans down to kiss you, “you’re wrapping so tightly around me.” he meant in more than one way, not that you would know or anything.

“fuck,” you scratch along his back and bring him closer to you, wrapping your legs around his waist so he’s deeper inside you, “i’m so close..” your whines are so precious, a song in his head he wishes to repeat.

“you can cum, baby.” the nickname has you shivering, “cum for me. be my sweet, good girl and cum for me.”

you fall in the trap, clenching and unclenching around his length and falling apart in his arms. jaemin shudders a quiet “fuck” and falls apart with you, release deep inside you and riding out both of your highs. you feel full with his cum inside you, and jaemin feels worn out but content. sweat lingering on his forehead as he drops his head into your neck, peppering light kisses there as to prove he’s still there.

so, so close. you’re so close. jaemin’s heart is beating too fast for him to keep up, and it’s so hot in the room now. he feels himself crashing before he can even fall.

selfish, he hears again, so selfish.

“so,” renjun starts, and you already feel the regret sink into your skin, “what you’re telling me is, you’re not dating still?”

you roll your eyes, “not everything has to have a label on it, renjun. it was such a sudden, spur of the moment kind of thing.” you twist nervously, and renjun scoffs where he stands.

“you fucked.” “and? we’re adults. adults fuck.” you spit back, arranging your clothes in your closet and putting them away. renjun leans against the doorframe, watching you with ease. maybe renjun worries too much for you, but something about the situation makes him anxious and full of worry. he wasn’t used to it.

“touché.” renjun doesn’t say much else, leaving his pondering thoughts inside his head. you catch on, though.

sighing, you hang up your last bit of clothing before turning towards him, “whatever happens, i’m sure i can handle it.”

renjun doesn’t doubt you. not for a second does he doubt you. but he simply doesn’t want you to be put into a tough situation that you struggle to get out of. renjun is incredibly happy for you. but sometimes momentarily held romances aren’t good for the soul. they crush you and you have to find a way to make yourself new again. renjun didn’t want that for you.

“i know you can.” he simply replies, and he lets you handle it yourself. maybe a part of him wishes he had stepped in and told you to back down. but you probably wouldn’t have listened.

maybe you knew. maybe a part of you knew it wouldn’t end well after that night. but you held on anyway, and you can’t blame yourself for trying. you needed to know in order to not wonder.

“i have to go,” renjun checks the time on his phone, “please text me if you need anything, i’ll answer when i can.”

you nod your head, “of course, you too.”

renjun leaves the room with a hum, and when you hear the door close, you realize you’re stuck alone with your thoughts again. maybe jaemin shouldn’t have consumed so much of your brain the way he did. in fact, you knew he shouldn’t have.

little did either of you know, you were both living in a painful silence.

seeing you again, for jaemin, was like seeing light again after many years of living in the dark. your smile warmed his heart, and set his body aflame. nothing for jaemin was set in stone, and the harsh reality dawned on him at such an odd, painful time. he hoped his mind would give him a break in the presence of you, but he was hopeful too soon. way too soon.

you sigh, a sound jaemin became used to hearing over the past few months, “forever.”

jaemin feels pricks starting to form in his skin, “uh.. what?”

you laugh lightly at the slight panic you hear in his voice, “forever is such a commitment, terrifying if you ask me.” jaemin couldn’t agree more. “and.. you’re stuck with yourself. forever.”

jaemin wants to fill the tense silence in the air, but can’t bring himself to speak.

“it all comes down to one thing,” you pause, taking a light sip of your warm tea, “and it’s you. it’s always going to be yourself.. i think about this a lot, you know.” you place your tea down, resting your head in your hand on your breakfast bar as the both of you sit there. “no matter what decisions you make, or what decisions others make, you’ll still have yourself. i think there’s times where i remember why i chose this life.”

you look at him.

“why i chose to be me.”

jaemin kisses you out of instinct. he feels a pain start to flood his bones and consume his brain. listening to you was a new type of ache, and he wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. foreign feelings seem to swallow him whole before he can really start to take a look back to what he was before. it feels like pins and needles are stabbing right through him the longer he kisses you, the longer you kiss him back. the more he feels your touch, the more he wants. it’s such a dangerous bridge that he’s starting to cross, but he can’t find it in himself to stop getting lost in you.

you could say the same for him. you were so lost in him, deep in whatever he had given to you. burning to the touch. tangling between unspoken words and soft touches.

such a mess, you think.

a mess you were willing to clean up, if it meant being like this for a bit longer.

you were committing yourself to a future type of pain you were unsure you would be able to take. but you stayed anyway. and jaemin held you in a way you weren’t quite used to yet, but could definitely get used to. you were breathing the same air as him, right in that moment. and jaemin found himself cupping your jaw to angle the kiss more to his favor, and you found yourself entangling your heart with his in a clumsy way you haven’t done before. you’ve fallen in love before, and you definitely wouldn’t say you were in love with him. not in any way were you in love with jaemin.

but you were beginning.

it was the beginning of your fall.

you were burning. you could feel your whole entire being start to burn, and ache, and turn into ash. you were starting to learn it wasn’t a good feeling; standing in front of jaemin, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, confusion and frustration written on your face. jaemin looked worried, and lost. you weren’t used to such an expression on his face, and you were sure you would remember this memory too for as long as you lived. painful memories don’t seem to fade either, no matter how much you want them to.

jaemin sits on your couch, and he suddenly feels like a child being scolded for something he did. maybe he deserved to be scolded right now. the whole entire situation was messy, and completely out of his hands. he could lie to you. he could lie right now and give you an answer that you want, but he knows that’s worse than holding the real answer from you. he wants to let it all out, he wants to show you everything you’re missing in context. but he can’t. and it pains him more than he thought it would.

selfish, repetition, so selfish.

“i just.. can’t.” vague. he’s too vague with you. you realized that, over time, jaemin had given you little to nothing while you gave him everything. this would mark month five into whatever the fuck you were doing, and it was starting to get miserable in such a short amount of time.

you sigh, placing yourself next to him on the couch. how did it come to this? you were honestly just a bit curious of where you stood with him, after about two months of just fucking and kissing and his romantic gestures screwing you over, it was getting frustrating. he started to consume your brain and thoughts late at night when you had no one to console you. he was like a ghost, haunting you at the worst times and creating a distant memory that would stick forever. lingering around you.

“i never asked for a specific label,” you started, tone starting to get bitter, “i just wanted to know where your head was at.. you confuse me, jaemin.” you look at him, and his gaze stays lowered to the ground. “i know barely anything about you. i only really know why you moved here, and even that was fairly vague. i’m lost, jaemin. i’m very lost.”

he was too. jaemin was so, so damn lost. he fell down a hole he dug himself, and now it’s too steep and he can’t seem to find a way out. jaemin can’t tell you that he has to leave soon. he can’t bring it in himself to just let it all out and tell you what exactly is holding him back from just being with you. this thought causes jaemin to finally make eye contact with you, and he can see the water starting to well in his own eyes. he catches the shock on your face when you realize that jaemin is crying, silently bearing his soul to you and showing you a different kind of vulnerability.

unspoken words, and soft touches.

maybe that’s all you will ever be.

you wipe away his tears, “i’m sorry.”

jaemin feels broken at the apology you speak to him. he feels anger start to seep within him, and he wants to shout and scream and let loose. he was tired of feeling so trapped and stuck, and you could have been his only hope. you might have been. but who’s to say it would be a good thing to get out? maybe he was terrified to come out of what he knew best, of what he was comfortable with now. everything felt like pure torture. actual, unadulterated pain.

“no,” jaemin replies, swatting your hand away gently, “i’m sorry.”

“stop, it’s okay. sometimes we just don’t know what we want, and i shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on you.”

guilt. absolute guilt.

it sinks within his bones, and buries him alive. jaemin knows what he wants. he does. he knows he wants you, but he also knows what he wants is what he can’t have. but jaemin says nothing, and lets the air fall into a tense silence that starts to ring in his head. he can hear the dull air. it’s loud, deafening almost. and it tears him apart, because he knows he could possibly fix your broken conscience and tell you everything. but he doesn’t.

he stays quiet.

jaemin remembers leaving your apartment after that. he also remembers your short, lively memories that the two of you created within the past five months. the soft, gentle memories wash over him in silent hope and cause light to flitter through his body. he feels alive thinking of you. selfishly alive.

you were stuck thinking of jaemin all night after. it felt like a fight, but it also didn’t. you wouldn’t exactly consider it a fight, or anything. but, why did it hurt so bad? why did you feel the ache in your chest? why was your heart beating faster than usual?

you press a palm flat to your chest, trying to soothe the pain and slow your heart. thinking of jaemin alone was starting to eat you alive. you felt obsessed, all over the place and only thinking of jaemin. it would always track back down to jaemin, you noticed. and it was a terrifying experience to learn that you were beginning to feel stronger and stronger towards him as the days passed.

maybe that’s why it hurt so much.

you cared more than you were willing to admit.

“you better have a good explanation as to why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me.”

renjun’s voice echoes through your mind, but that’s all he really seems to be to you right now. a voice. you unintentionally ignored renjun’s calls and texts over the course of three days. jaemin hadn’t text, nor visited, within those three days since the altercation. it tore you apart, prompting you into not responding to anyone and isolating yourself more than you would like to. feelings felt so complicating. you were bouncing from one conclusion to the next, never really settling on something you could exactly seem to agree with. you would bounce from being angry, to being frustrated, to shedding tears, to feeling sad, all for it to cycle again and be put on repeat. a horrible cycle, at that.

renjun became worried when you didn’t answer his texts like you usually do. he figured maybe you needed space and time. maybe something happened. and he was right, something did happen. but you not responding for three days straight got to him, finally making way to your apartment on his own. renjun cares, you know he does. and maybe locking him out of your inner world shouldn’t have been the solution to all your problems, but you seemed to have locked everyone and everything out. wallowing in your own self-pity day and night.

you had become accustomed to going through the motions within those three days, making sure to give yourself the proper nutrients you needed in order to stay alive. but nothing felt exact and alive anymore. it tore you apart, bit by bit. piece by piece.

you say nothing as renjun storms in your room, catching you laying in bed while staring at the ceiling. renjun stops the anger bubbling in his throat to catch a real look at you, and his own heart starts to ache. it’s like he can feel what you feel, and it wasn’t good.

and he knows.

without you saying anything, he knows.

maybe that’s why you and renjun got along so well. neither of you needed to say what was wrong once one of you had taken a good look at the other. it was an unspoken understanding of one another, something you can’t exactly find anywhere else, within anyone else.

you remember renjun holding you that night as you cried deep into his shirt, possibly staining it with your tears from how much you let out that night. it was different. renjun had never seen you like this before in all the years he had known you, and he could feel his heart breaking for you. he feels the way you desperately claw at his chest, letting out these putrid sobs that ring so loudly, he’s sure even jaemin could probably hear it. he hoped you weren’t thinking too much of him, but he knew that wasn’t true. never would that ever be true.

when a week passes since the incident, you feel lighter. you thought you would never speak to him again, despite him being your neighbor. you knew you could always call, text. but so could he. it didn’t feel like your choice to make. you didn’t know what he wanted, and if he didn’t want you... why would you chase him down? it never felt like your call to make. it was his.

renjun holds you when you fall face first, and you let him. he comforts you on your worst nights, and you confide in him for as long as he’ll let you. which is forever. renjun will let you forever.

you’re alone tonight, letting out a soft sigh while trying to be content. when you hear a ring on your phone, you don’t hesitate to pick up, already knowing it’s going to be renjun checking in on you.

“hello?” you greet first, expecting a soft, gentle voice to be on the other line greeting you with a cheery tone.

“y/n.” it’s not renjun. and you can feel your palms start to sweat at the voice, making you more anxious than you can amount to. you feel dread wash over you in just a split second when you come to realize that you’re talking to jaemin.

jaemin isn’t sure why he called. maybe he shouldn’t have. he probably should have just let the situation die down and never resurface. so why the hell did he call? why was his body aching just to see you, feel you, hear you one more time? he screwed up. he could have done this sooner, so much sooner. this could’ve been solved head-on days ago, a whole entire week ago even.

so, why was he calling now?

“can you..” he pauses, swallowing thick air as he feels a lump in his throat begin to form, “can you speak to me? talk to me.” he likes listening to you. he wants to hear your voice, listen to the way you talk mindlessly about things that probably don’t matter, but at the same time do matter because they’re coming from you. he misses the way your voice enraptures him and takes a hold on him, not letting him go for the rest of the night.

he’s being selfish again.

“what the hell..” you whisper, hurt laced in your voice and pain etching every syllable, “no.”

“n-no?”

“no.” you’re stern, spitting back at him and feeling anger start to rise, “who the hell do you think you are? calling me a week fucking later and asking for me to talk to you? i gave you a week, jaemin. a whole entire week to speak to me, and you didn’t.”

“i missed your voice.” he blurts, “i’m selfish. i’ve been more selfish than i’ve ever been in my whole entire life with you.” he can sense you’re about to reply, but doesn’t let you. not yet. “i process how i feel too late. i take things for granted, and i push them away just when things start to get good. i’ve always been that way. i have no excuse for my actions. i want you to be different, trust me when i say that i really, really do..” he gulps, and he can hear himself starting to talk faster than usual again. “i just don’t think it works for me that way.”

“why? why not?” you question immediately, and jaemin expects it.

it’s silent on the other line for longer than you would have liked it to be, “do you remember the first time i kissed you?”

you want to scold him for the subject change, but don’t. “yes.”

“i had never felt more alive than i did there.” jaemin says in a quiet voice sounding of soft, pondering thoughts. “it felt like i had a fresh, new beginning kissing you. i lived in a dream world around you. i lived in my head.”

it’s quiet for a few moments. you can hear him breathing on the other line, and it makes you wonder what he’s thinking.

“...and i think that’s the problem.”

you feel yourself starting to shatter. tears were starting to spill, and you were almost embarrassed of yourself for letting yourself cry like this again. especially while on the phone with jaemin.

jaemin feels his own breath starting to tremble as he sits alone in his apartment, the one across from yours. at any moment he could walk over and see you. but maybe it was a dangerous line to cross right now. maybe this was what was best for the both of you.

“i can’t keep living in my head. it’s dangerous, it’s scary.”

jaemin jumps when he hears a knock on his door. it’s you, isn’t it? he wants to say he hesitated when he answered the door, but he doesn’t seem to have any self control when it comes to you. he opens the door to see you holding the phone to your ear, just to watch you hang up the line and place your phone in your sweatpants pocket. he does the same.

“i live in my own head, too.” you say it with ease, but he can feel how bitter you are when you start to clench and unclench your jaw. “you’re not the only one. and i don’t expect you to just magically let me in, i never said that. it just sucks when after i’ve tried everything, done everything, you still push me away like i was nothing.. a whole entire week, and you said nothing. i tore myself apart for you. i tore myself apart because of you.”

he never wanted to be that for you. when jaemin started talking to you, he never expected it to get this far. he never thought things through when it came to you, no matter how much he may have lived inside his head. no matter how long he would overthink things for, he still ended up choosing the selfish road.

“i’m scared..” jaemin starts. and it’s obvious he’s holding everything in to not fall apart. “i’m scared that, once i let myself go, i’ll lose everything i worked so hard to get towards. you became apart of my life in such a short amount of time. it was so quick, it scared me. it still scares me.” he isn’t lying. he isn’t lying. he isn’t lying. “i just..” let it out. let it fucking out.

“just what?”

he can’t.

he holds it in, letting out a deep breath instead.

“i just don’t want to miss you. i don’t want to miss what i could have.” he’s being honest, completely honest.

maybe you should’ve talked more than that, but you opted out on just kissing him instead. it was raw, and intense. it wasn’t graceful or slowed. it was rushed and harsh, something you weren’t used to when it came to jaemin. you could feel him pouring his emotions out as he kissed you with fervor, and he could taste the pain and anger on your lips as you tangled your hands in his dark strands of hair. your body warming up to him, his own reacting to you in ways he couldn’t seem to remember since he last time he kissed you. pain was seeping through your soul, and into his.

when you pull apart, you have tears running down your cheeks and furrowed eyebrows. even when you’re angry crying, jaemin still becomes more enamored with you in all ways possible. it’s sickening, really. sends a nervous feeling in his stomach the longer he looks at you, the more he studies you.

“i’m here, though.” you finally reply, a choked sob breaking the sentence. “i’m right here.”

you are. and it’s painfully true that you, in fact, right here.

“but i’m not.”

silence.

complete silence.

you knew what he meant. no matter how much he may have physically been there in front of you, he was not there mentally. and you figured that he was unsure if he ever would be. it’s painful, it’s so damn painful. and it rips you apart and tears you a new one. nothing really compared to this, in all honesty. not this type of pain. not this type of hurt.

“are you calling it quits?” you ask suddenly, and it sends a stake right through jaemin’s heart. not in a million years would he ever want to let go of you, or what you had.

jaemin is incredibly tired. he’s tired of hurting you to no end and creating memory after memory, just until he knows when he has to leave. he can only really imagine how you feel right now. not knowing at all why he’s doing this to you. why he’s hurting you so much. he doesn’t want to be that for you. he really, really doesn’t.

jaemin kisses you first this time, instead of answering you. maybe he should have answered you. but it seemed to be poor choice after poor choice when it came to him. you couldn’t find it in yourself to back away, to demand an answer. you didn’t think you really wanted one, anyway. you weren’t prepared. you didn’t think you could ever be prepared for his answer, even if it was the one you wanted it to be. you weren’t really sure what that answer was either.

so you let him kiss you, and you kiss him back. because you’re unsure, and you know he’s just as unsure as you are. maybe even more unsure than you. and kissing him seems to burn you alive, but you let it. you keep letting it.

one more memory to add to the book.

one more time you feel yourself fall deeper into jaemin.

waking, you feel your limbs ache. you can hear the soft raining patting against your window already so early in the morning. instead of birds chirping, it’s rain hitting lightly at your windowpane. you get up to open the curtains, taking sight of the trails of trees in front of you. jaemin was right when he said this place was a bit away from the busy atmosphere, and you appreciated the gentle quietness you got to experience on days like these. it was calming, and you didn’t feel rushed back into reality for the time being. it was just you, no one else.

you jump in shock when you hear your front door opening and closing, “holy fuck.”

renjun comes into view with a frantic look on his face, “y/n-”

“i should really revoke your key to my apartment-” you let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“i think jaemin’s gone.” cold.

it was cold.

you were freezing, but jaemin had already insisted on going to the park at such a late hour, “you’re not going to, like, kill me, right?” you sound shaky, but it was only from the cold.

jaemin rolls his eyes, giving you a sweet laugh that lights you up, “no, i’m not. but i guess that’s what all killers say.”

“touché.” you huff, and you can see your breath in the cold air, “jaemin, it’s freezing, why the fuck are we at a park?”

he places himself on a swing, “come sit.”

you pause, before making way to where he’s sat on his own swing. it’s silent, and you can hear the wind in your ears. you can feel the cold on your fingertips. you can taste the winter on your tongue. sitting in the comfortable silence with jaemin wasn’t a bad thing. you actually enjoyed just simply being around him, but why were you out in the cold? so late?

“i go to parks, on swings, late at night when i want to think. when i want to clear my head.” jaemin starts, “i’m in my head a lot. i overthink everything, and i tend to exhaust myself more than i can handle. i’m sure that’s not the first thing you think of when you see me, huh?” jaemin gives you a quick glance, amusement on his pretty features.

you look at him with a certain type of patience that makes jaemin feel warm and safe inside. it’s almost overwhelming, in a sense. but it drips with honey and creates a foundation in his heart that he’s sure he won’t be able to get rid of. he likes it, he likes it a lot.

“i’m not myself.” he states, and it feels solemn. “i’m not who i’m supposed to be, yet. and i think it tears me apart in the worst ways. i can see it, i can feel it, taste it even.” he pauses, feeling along the chains of the swing absentmindedly, “but i’m not there yet. i can’t become it, no matter how much i imagine it.” jaemin lets silence sink in, before continuing with a soft tone that breaks both you and him apart. “you would think that, if i wanted it so bad, if i wanted it enough, it would be here by now. i would already be who i’m supposed to be.”

his words cut through you in ways you can’t describe, and all you can really do is listen.

“i think i have a lot of learning, and unlearning to do.” jaemin says this with his whole chest, and you know he means it. “i’ve only really known you for five months, and we’ve already had two arguments, but i wouldn’t have wanted to share these memories with anyone else.”

“i mean that.”

“gone..?”

reality hits you full force before you can realize what’s happening. it’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, and you’re being dumped into an ocean of cold water before you can even process how you’re truly feeling. it’s like getting your heart torn out. it’s like not knowing where you’re going to end up next, because it doesn’t feel like there is going to be a next. your bones are soaking in pain, swallowing you whole and making sure you feel every inch of it.

renjun hands you a note wordlessly, it has your name written on it in pretty handwriting, and you’re cursing him already for having good handwriting. “it was on his own door. i tried knocking, but there was no answer. went to the lobby and they said he moved out just a few hours ago.”

you sink. you crash and burn and sink and drown. falling back onto the edge of your bed, staring wildly at the letter in your hands. you watch as tears start to soak up the paper while you hastily take out the ink covered note.

“y/n.

i can’t say i’m good with confrontation, because then that would just be a plain lie. but i think we’ve gone past lies at this point. believe me when i say i thought of telling you that i was temporary, that i knew i had to leave at some point. you were such a light for me, a breath of fresh air. you brought me out of a dark hole i had been living in for way too long. but, if i had stayed any longer, i would have dragged you down with me in the end. i don’t want you to say that you would have been able to handle it, or that you wished i had stayed. i can’t. i couldn’t have. i can’t be the person anymore who hurts you and leaves a lingering ghost around your head. i don’t want to be the person who stains you any more than i already have. maybe i’m doing exactly what i don’t want to be for you right now. but, if i had stayed, i wouldn’t have been able to be with you in the way you deserve. i had to leave. i was on a journey to find myself, and i found you along the way. i thought, maybe, you could help me out of whatever sinkhole i’m in. maybe you were the cure to it. i soon realized that it wasn’t you who should do the saving. i need to save myself, i need to be my own hero for once. this might stick in your mind forever,  but i promise it was never about you. i really, really liked you. more than i can really handle while feeling like this. i could even feel myself falling for you along the way. but i think, before i even consider that, i need to fall in love with myself first. you helped me begin a new path, and helped me realize that there are things to love and look forward to in life. and i need to figure out how to use that in the real world. i need to figure out how to use that on myself.

i’m sorry i never said anything sooner. i should have. thank you for helping me find a part of myself in the journey of finding out who i’m supposed to be. i’ll never forget you, ever.

- jaemin.

you want to be mad. you want to curse at him and scream and cry at the top of your lungs. but all you can do is shed bittersweet tears and sink and drown and fall. you so, so fucking much wanted to be pissed. you wanted to be livid. but you weren’t. and you felt slightly bitter that you weren’t. you could only cry as sour and sweet started to mix within you and make you remember every single memory and detail jaemin gave you before leaving.

so much, yet so little.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” renjun’s voice echoes in your head, and he no longer feels like just a voice to you. he’s actually there, and you appreciate him so damn much.

“don’t be.” you wipe away your tears just for new ones to fall right after. you let yourself feel pain, you didn’t shy away from it and you didn’t stop yourself from falling part. how would you heal if you didn’t know pain first?

you let out a long, long shaky sigh, “you know, i almost fell in love with him.” you admit this with your heart on you sleeve and renjun listens to you with attending ears. “i was so, so close to just.. giving it all up for him.”

renjun slips in the seat beside you on the edge of your bed, pulling you into his embrace. you accept it, much like all the other times he had held you. it was warm, and he smelled like his normal self. nothing about renjun was unfamiliar, nothing about this felt unsafe or unsure. renjun would always be there, and you couldn’t thank him enough as you loudly cried into his shirt out of sorrow.

deep, deep sorrow.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?”

your quick answer, no. you haven’t.

but you were pretty damn close with jaemin.

so, so damn close.

and that’s all you’ll have with him.

unspoken words, and soft touches.

a/n: hi ! thank you so much denise for having me on this collab, and thank you everyone who read it! please make sure to check out everyone else’s works as well if you haven’t ! the link of the collab is at the very top underneath the title. :] i like to think this truly was a montage of love, because not all love is beautiful or ends sweetly. bittersweet endings are painful, but they help you grow as a person. i hope everyone gets what i mean haha ANYWAY ! thank you again :] please remember to take care and stay healthy as always.

[nanamisflowerfield]

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It was a big day, well at least for Idia. After all it was his crush’s birthday! Scared and excited, he tried to prepare a gift for his beloved crush in secret.

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@teashopwritingzz I know I don’t have to do it, but I really really really wanted to give at least one small present to you! Because you totally deserve it!🥺❤️ Happy belated Birthday! I know that yesterday was your birthday, but I wasn‘t online yesterday due the post+ demonstration! D: I still hope that you had a wonderful day yesterday and today and the whole week! Stay safe and healthy too!!

Idia took a deep breath, staring at the list of gift ideas that you might like, but a small voice back in his head kept telling him, that you would never like any of those gifts. “I’m sure that (Y/N) (L/N) will like it!” His younger brother always said, but the tall dorm leader of Ignihyde was still pouting at his thoughts. If you would reject any of those, you would also reject his feelings. It would be like a critical hit, getting it from the most greatest SSR character ever. “If you are still unsure, you can watch them. Maybe you will figure out what (Y/N) (L/N) will like.” Ortho advised his big bro, who glanced over his shoulder to the only person he might listen to at this very important situation. “Maybe you are right…” Idia’s gaze wandered from his brother to the list he had on his phone. Headphones, phonecases, games, books and more were listed on it, but would you liked them?

“Owww! My paw!” Grim cursed the ground, after he fell down from the bed, being accidentally pushed down by you. “Sorry, Grim.” Apologizing by petting him on the head and promising to give him a can of tuna later, he halfheartly accepted your apology, walking with you to school for another mayhap exciting school day. “I will only accept it, because it’s your birthday.” The cat-like friend of yours, fummed, watching the Heartslabyul duo walk into your direction to greet you and wish you a happy birthday. “Trey-senpai even baked a cake.” Deuce told you, getting elbowed by Ace, who groaned at him that the birthday party should be a surprise, only to spoil it himself. “A surprise party…? I’m probably not invited…” Idia watched the screen, his eyes never leaving you, hopeful to get any informations of what you might wish for, while his fingers tipped on his keyboard, coding something he always had on mind.

As you wrote on paper everything important professor Crewel told the class, Ace drummed with his finger on the table, while Grim was half sleeping next to you and Deuce tried his best to be a perfect student. “Hey, can you read the list of invited students later on? Did we invite every friend of yours?” Deuce whispered to you, getting harsh words of the professor for interrupting the lesson. But every time Crewel watched away, you read all names of your friends on it, only noticing that one name was missing. The person you wanted to see not only through screen. Idia Shroud. But maybe he couldn’t come over or doesn’t want to for being such a shy and yet adorable being.

Surprisingly the day went on like every other day. You laughed, had fun, talked to your friends and went to the Heartslabyul garden, while wearing shiny bright white clothes to show the whole school that it was indeed your birthday, like many other students had to wear on theirs. It was a bit embarrassing to talk with plenty of students about your birthday, but it still made you happy nonetheless, even when you still hoped to talk on specific student of NRC on this very day. But he didn’t came, so maybe you should get your little present from him by visiting Idia. “That’s a great party, guys. Thank you all so much, but I will be gone for a short time.” You smiled at your friends, watching them having fun, eating delicious food and talking to each other.

Idia yelped as he heard a knock on the door. Wasn’t everyone gone and having fun right now? Who was knocking on the door? Arguing with Ortho with mere stares, the younger Shroud walked to the door, opening it to your delight and Idia’s dismay, as he stared at the door opening more and more and then- oh no, by the great seven, was it truly you?! You were supposed to be at your party, having the time of your life with your dear friends and not be here! Why were you here?!

Like a good child, Ortho greeted you, standing next to the door to give you some space to walk through the door to Idia’s room. While you were smiling at the Shroud brothers, Idia was sitting on his chair, turning around to hide his blushing face that got warmer by every second you stood there and talked to Ortho. The tips of his hair and ears were dusted cheek and he was sure, that some might compare to him to fresh cherries!

“Sorry to disturb you-“ You started, getting interrupted by Ortho, who dragged you into the room, telling you that you would never disturb any of those two. “Oh… Uhm… Alright.” With the same smile that Idia fell for, your eyes stared at his back. Oh, how much you had wishes to hold the introverted boy in your embrace, pat him and give him the love and affection he deserved. “I-I-It’s… alright…” Idia sputtered and stuttered, trying to avoid your gaze in fear that you might tease him for having a crush on you. He just couldn’t help himself. You were such a lovely person. So nice, helpful and that smile. He could babble around, what a great person you were in his boring shut-in life. That you were like the light in his dark life. A total ultra super duper rare card in the gacha games he keeps playing, being frustrated that he couldn’t get those cards, but at least could look at them on photos. “Am I creepy…?” Idia mumbled to himself, forgetting your presence for a second until you asked him to repeat it, after not able to hear it. “N-Nothing!”

Fortunately or mayhap even unfortunately, Ortho knew of Idia’s feelings and how much he had took a liking towards you, which is why he had asked you, why you were in the Ignihyde dorm. “Oh… I wanted to get my present.” The blue-haired tall student turned around, nearly shrieking in fear that you figured out, that he wanted to give you a gift as well like plenty of your friends, who unfortunately had gifted you many presents he had listed a couple weeks ago. “My present would be… to spend more time with you, Idia.” Your gaze wandered to the ground as your cheeks got warmer by your mere words and wish you had, not realizing that Idia’s face was mirroring yours at the same time your words had left your mouth.

That was a gift that he would love to give you every day as long as you wanted to have him by his side. His mouth opened slightly, wanting to talk, before you had asked him what he was programming right now as you took a look at the codes, ignoring the fact that a humming Ortho left the room, so he might not disturb you two love birds. “A g-game… I’m trying to make a small game I had in mind for quite some time.” He answered, staring at it once again.

“Have you finished it already?“ The bluehead nodded. “May I play it?” Mumbling a few words here and there, Idia hoped that his hair hide his flustered face, but he nonetheless let you sit next to him and play his selfmade game, even though he feared that you would reach the end of it and find out about his big secret he never wanted to reveal to you.

“Another level up. Great!~” You cheered, playing the rpg of Idia’s even though your friends might miss you during your birthday party. You should get back, but you couldn’t stop playing the game, after all you has nearly reach the endboss! “Is that a giant cat? He reminds me of Grim.” You chuckled, trying to defeat the endboss with the spells of the protagonist named Hadia. It was a cute game.

The plot of it was like plenty of other rpgs. The protagonist Hadia, a royal guy fell in love with Readi, a sweet princess who got kidnapped by the evil cat-monster Grimopy. Grimopy tried to be the strongest wizard and king and had plenty of henchmen like Dice and Acepo, which were quite strong enemies. Hadia had to train a lot and even gained the help of different wizards like Lio, a sleepy lion, Otto, a cute robot. Then there were Ralice, Tri, Phone-Addicted Rabbit, who still had no name, because Idia couldn’t find a good fitting name for the character. Marteus, Kala, Azure and many other characters and all of them reminded you of your friends. That meant that Hadis was probably Idia and the lovely princess Readi was… you. “Cute game.” You whispered to yourself, using the last spell to defeat the boss, watching the end scene of the rpg.

Hadis was rushing through the castle until he found his beloved princess. When he leaned down to kiss her awake with the kiss of true love, she woke up and they confessed their loves, swearing to each other to be together forever until they lives will end.

“I think I have a new ship.” You giggled, pointing at the protagonists, while you looked at Idia, the blushing mess. “I’m really glad that they are together. They are perfect and cute together. So sweet. I hope that my Hadis likes me as much as he does…” You commented, shutting his computer down, while Idia clenched his fists, knowing that you finally know about his feelings. “Come. We have to go to a party, Idia.” You smiled at the marveled dorm leader. “P-Party?!” Faster than he could expect it, you grabbed his hand in yours, pulling him away from his room towards the garden of the Heartslabyul dorm. “Oh, I like you too, my Hadis.” - “I-I like you too… my Readi.” With the other hand of his, he tried to hide his red face as you chuckled at him, happy that you finally can call him yours.