#endos safe

[guardianssystem]

Tumblr Post of our Endogenic and Non-traumagenic Plurality Research

Endogenic & Non-Traumagenic Plurality By Guardians System, a diagnosed traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD For use by everyone, to be read by EVERYONE Brought to you by sysmeds who say “I’m not reading all that” (/j)

Feel free to DM on Twitter at GuardiansSystemOpen for anonymous questions on Tellonym also under GuardiansSystemOtherwise, just comment! :)

Lists of Links Put together by community members! (Not thoroughly checked)

Plurality/Multiplicity + Syscourse Resources and Findings Pastebin by ButterflyBlood - contains info from the DSM-3 to the DSM-V, medical info, community info, Tulpa info, syscourse info, and a video

Cambrian's Thread of Experts Thread by the Cambrian Crew - contains info from Dr Eric Yarbrough (Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association), info from Dr Nijenhuis and Van Der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation), info from the ICD-11 and DSM-V-TR, and an interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein (lead editor of the DSM-V’s section on DIssociative Disorders)

Studies into non-disordered and/or endogenic plurality Pastebin by Oliviaset - contains multiple science/government links and a video

Collected Plurality Info - 8 pages of resources - Fractal System Document by The Fractal System - contains explanations on multiple types of plurality and references links to each, contains community info, history info, academic info, and more

Scientific Papers on Endogenic Plurality - r/Plural Post and comments by numerous systems/supporters - contains a massive amount of uncategorised links to all types of information on non-traumagenic plurality

Multiplicity Links - SARAH K REECE Site by Sarah K Reece - a previously diagnosed traumagenic DID system that no longer fits the criteria but is still a system, links focus mainly on general helpful system information

Scientific Articles on Nondisordered Systems Document by Tabellenblatt1 (?) - contains info specific to non-disordered plurality, including the interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein

Ex Uno Plures - Articles Community site by Plures House - contains explanations on plurality, info on living plural, info on personal experiences, medical info, philosophical info, social info, and syscourse info

An Endogenic Proof Masterlist - Plural Anomaly Document by Plural Anomaly - contains community info, academic info, and criticisms on the Theory of Structural Dissociation

Plurality Studies - Multiplicity and Plurality Wiki Wiki made by numerous community members - contains uncategorised abstracts from medical info and info on Tulpas

Non-Traumagenic & Endogenic System Information General medical/clinical studies and research

It's just a body: A community-based participatory exploration of the experiences and health care needs for transgender plural people Study by numerous people including a system - repeatedly references and explains multiple types of plurality, both traumagenic and non-traumagenic

Multiplicity: An Explorative Interview Study on Personal Experiences of People with Multiple Selves Study by numerous people - uses some outdated language, however, explores how systems exist both with and without Dissociative Identity Disorder

Conceptualising multiplicity spectrum experiences: a systematic review and thematic synthesis Study by numerous people - explores how multiplicity exists outside of Dissociative Identity Disorder in a medical context in order to recommend appropriate health services

Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness over Multiplicity: An Examination of  Dissociative Identity (Disorder) in Five Clinical Texts (Alternative Link) Study by Kymbra Clayton - explains how multiple selves can be healthy without the need for singularity

NORMAL DIMENSIONS OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITY WITHOUT AMNESIA Study by multiple people - uses slightly outdated language, describes how multiplicity can be considered natural without the dissociative disorders, and how the dissociative disorders could simply be expanding upon multiplicity

Cognitive processes in dissociation: An analysis of core theoretical assumptions Study by numerous people - discusses potentially healthy dissociation and the existence of dissociation without trauma

MODES OF EXISTENCE: TOWARDS A PHENOMENOLOGICAL POLYPSYCHISM Study by Mick Cooper - discusses alternative ways for multiple selves to exist

A plurality of selves? An illustration of polypsychism in a recovered addict Study by Peter T.F. Raggatt - discusses the normality of non-traumagenic multiplicity and different ways for natural plurality to exist

A Jungian Perspective on the Dissociability of the Self Study by Brian R. Skea - includes multiple mentions of Freud, extremely explicit and triggering language, and repeated use of outdated terms, however helps to provide an understanding of much older views on non-traumagenic dissociation and plurality

TRANSGENDER Mental Health - chapter 11 Book by Dr. Eric Yarbrough of the American Psychiatric Association - states repeatedly throughout the chapter that plurality is only a part of dissociative identity disorder and exists without the disorder, as well as trauma only being reported in some cases of plurality and that trauma is not the only cause for plurality, and states that plurality itself is only a collection of alters

"I've Learned to Treat my Characters like People": Varieties of Agency and Interaction of Writers' Experiences of their Characters' Voices Study by multiple people - describes authors’ common experience of accidental multiplicity caused by their characters gaining autonomy

Dissociation in Trauma: A New Definition and Comparison with Previous Formulations Article by Ellert R S Nijenhuis and Onno van der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation) - page 27, at the end of the article, they recognise mediumship and similar practices as a “division of personality,” which is what they refer to the dissociative disorders as

Exploring the Experiences of Young People with Multiplicity Research by Zarah Eve and Sarah Perry - begins with multiplicity only sometimes being applicable for a DID/OSDD diagnosis, and continues that multiplicity itself and the dissociative disorders are not the same, as well as some respondents not associating their multiplicity with trauma alongside the dissociative disorders not applying to some of the respondents, and having a section for some multiplicity not being based in trauma

Comparison of Brazilian spiritist mediumship and dissociative identity disorder Study by multiple people - in comparing Dissociative Identity Disorder with Brazilian Spiritist Mediumship, it was found the two shared very similar results, only that the Mediumship results appeared slightly healthier than DID

Tulpamancy Studies and research specifically on Tulpas, though can apply to other plurality

Tibetan Buddhist with a Tulpa - Opinion on Plurality Post by Dharma Yokeyodasampa - a Tibetan Buddhist with a more traditional Tulpa asking community members for questions, discussions include what they think about plurality, western Tulpamancy, how their Tulpa feels, and the difference between western Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice. (This is a post compiling and explaining most of it, with a response from Dharma.)

Personality Characteristics of Tulpamancers and Their Tulpas Study by multiple people - examines and explores what Tulpas are, what they do, their role, Tulpa experiences, some history, and more

Sentient companions predicted and modeled into existence: explaining the Tulpa phenomenon Study by Kaj Sotala - describes a theory on how Tulpas may be psychologically caused via “feedback loops” (can also be applied to various other types of plurality, such as multiplicity caused by authors/artists and caused by other disorders)

A Time for Tulpas Thesis by Nick Stager - discusses what a Tulpa is, experiences with Tulpas, the development of Tulpas, how other practices may be similar, how an author can accidentally create Tulpas, and more

Tracking the Tulpa - Exploring the "Tibetan" Origins of a Contemporary Paranormal Idea Book by Natasha L. Mikles and Joseph P. Laycock - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas are created both intentionally and unintentionally, some of the history behind Tulpa, and Tulpas based on theosophy instead of the Tibetan practice

Tulpas and Mental Health: A Study of Non-Traumagenic Plural Experiences Study by Jacob J. Isler - explains what Tulpamancy is and how it can differ from Dissociative Identity Disorder but still be plural 

Paranormalizing the Popular through the Tibetan Tulpa: Or what the next Dalai Lama, the X Files and Affect Theory (might) have in common Article by Ben Joffe - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas develop, Tulpa experiences in the outside world, the difference between Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice, some of the history behind Tulpas, Theosophy-related Tulpas, and Tibetan Sprulpa experiences

Making Friends - Transcript of a Podcast on Tulpas (Slightly incorrect: more info here) Discussion by multiple people - explains multiple personal experiences with a Tulpa, actions of a Tulpa, accidental creation of Tulpas through writing, Tulpas taking over the physical body, Tulpas having a different identity, purposeful creation of Tulpas, discussions with professionals (Richard J. Loewenstein,) the difference between Tulpas and psychosis, the similarity between Tulpas and Dissociative Identity Disorder, how without distress then it can’t be disordered, and more

Daring to Hear Voices

Dalai Lama - Buddhist practices are open to those who need them

Clinical Information Helpful medical information not specifically related to non-traumagenic systems

DID Brain Pattern Study Doesn't Measure Up - December 2018 Critique by Spot&Cerberus - discusses the multiple flaws with the MRI scan on DID patients

Moral Status and the Treatment of DID Study by Timothy J. Bane - discusses the current known treatments for DID in the context of integration being commonly used, how it may be unethical and unhealthy to force integration, and that a multiple can healthily exist

DID, OSDD, and UDD Diagnostic Guide (NZ) Diagnostic guide by ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) - the New Zealand guide to diagnosing patients with DID, OSDD, and UDD, includes history of the diagnosis, problems with the diagnosis, alternative diagnoses, requirements for a diagnosis, what to avoid in a diagnosis, what to look for in a diagnosis, and similar

The Theory of Structural Dissociation Theory by multiple people - the most commonly used theory to explain dissociation, often specifically related to dissociative disorders

Problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation Research by multiple people - discusses multiple problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation, including it being a theory, the discarding of derealisation, depersonalisation, dissociative fugue, dissociative amnesia, the lack of association with trauma and PTSD in the DSM-V, and proposes some different ideas

ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics Book by the World Health Ogranisation - Dissociative disorders on 6B64

DSM DID ALTERATIONS

DSM-V-TR

DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) Book by the American Psychiatric Association - Dissociative Disorders on page 336

DSM-IV-TR

DSM-IV

DSM-III-R

DSM-III

DSM-II-SPECIAL

DSM-II

DSM-I-SPECIAL

DSM-I

Plural History Explanations and references to different parts of plural history

Plural History - 1811 Collection by Lb Lee - contains multiple parts of history in which systems of all types have existed (there are 4 different chapters)

A Partial History of Plural Self-Advocacy Collection by Alt H - describes times in history starting from 1987 when non-traumagenic plural advocacy was recorded

It's Not Just a Tumblr Thing - Kerry Dawkins Article by Ex Uno Plures - contains references in history to plurality outside of and before Tumblr

A Brief History of the Use of "System" in a Non-DID Space Collection by Lb Lee - describes the history of the word “system” being used to describe those with multiple selves, and how it isn’t a disorder-specific term

A Quick'N'Dirty History of "System" as Plural Slang Collection by Lb Lee - explains the history of the word “system” and the different uses

"Endogenic" was not coined by Freud Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - a discussion on the anti-endos claim that “endogenic” was coined by Freud

Origin of the term Endogenic Explanation by the Lunastus Collective - details how the term “endogenic” came to be created, what led up to it, and what happened after

I saw a post saying we should just believe RAMCOA surivors... okay... so how about this one? Explanation by Sophie in Wonderland - describes how and why anti-endos think “system hopping” was stolen by endogenic systems from RAMCOA systems, including an explanation from the RAMCOA system that anti-endos reference

Community Explanations Explanations on endogenic plurality by community members (sources are used)

Debunking the Anti-Endo Carrd - Guardians System To be updated

What do Sysmeds say That is Transphobic/TERF Rhetoric? Post by multiple people - a discussion on the comparison of sysmeds and transmeds, and how their arguments and the language they use is the same

Why Not Just Use Thoughtform? Collection by Sophie in Wonderland and Olivia Set - describes why some parogenic systems prefer using Tulpa over Thoughtform 

Debunking Sysmeds - Claims and Rebuttals Carrd by Ozymandias& - lists claims that anti-endos make against endogenic systems, and critiques the claims alongside referencing studies

I would define a plural system as having multiple, compartmentalised, self-conscious agents - SophieInWonderland Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - an explanation of the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic systems complete with referenced research and studies

Studies and Research into Endogenic and Non-Disordered Plurality

Masterpost - Academia on Endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality Post by Inclusive Syscourse - contains an explanation on the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality complete with referenced research

Claims There is No Research On Endogenics Post by Unknown - a list of research on endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality alongside explanations and descriptions

Origins of Plurality and Levels of Dissociation Study by The Phoenixes - uses the DES to gain insight into plurality not caused by trauma

The Tulpa Carrd - explain the nature and origins of Tulpamancy and what surrounds it Carrd by Unknown - lists an explanation and some history of Tulpamancy alongside references to research

Likely Origins of "Tulpamancy is Cultural Appropriation" Post by the Dragonheart System - critiques a Carrd claiming that Tulpamancy is cultural appropriation, referencing research and studies

Resources General helpful resources for all systems

Multiplicity Wiki - A wiki by plurals and multiples, for plurals and multiples Wiki by multiple people - contains terms, definitions, and general information on all types of plurality and multiplicity

Layman's Guide to Multiplicity Guide by Unknown - contains terms, definitions, information, explanations, and experiences on multiple types of plurality

The Plural Association - For Dissociative Identity Disorder & all other forms of Multiplicity under the Plural umbrella Organisation by the Stronghold System (?) - contains help sites for all types of struggling systems, alongside helpful information and articles on multiple areas

Pluralpedia - the collaborative plurality dictionary Dictionary by multiple people - contains a massive amount of information on the majority of plural terms and history

Endogenic Hub -  a site dedicated to endogenic plurality Hub by the Hordes System - contains information and experiences on multiple types of non-traumagenic plurality, alongside explanations of what plurality is

More Than One - Plurality (or multiplicity) is the existence of multiple self-aware entities inside one physical brain Site by Unknown - contains information on terms, different system origins, denounces myths about plurality, and different plural experiences

The Dissociative Initiative - For, by, and about people with multiplicity, dissociation, and amnesia Run by Sarah K Reece - a support group for systems that contains different information and resources on plurality

Tulpa Info - "For Science" Guide by Unknown - multiple different languages, explains what a Tulpa is, why they can exist, and where to begin when making a Tulpa

FAQ If you’re a sysmed, you might end up here! Congrats if you do!

What is a system? A system is anyone who has more than one entity/identity in the body/brain. 

What is plural/multiple? They mean pretty much the same as "system", only "plural" was made exclusively to be inclusive of every experience that involves many in the same body. E.g. if someone is an anti-endo or sysmed and uses the hashing "plural" to find friends, they're going to attract inclusive folks who support endos.

What is DID? DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is a disorder in which a system experiences severe dissociation that heavily impacts their life on a day-to-day basis.

What is OSDD? OSDD stands for otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder and is used when they experience similar symptoms to DID but are missing one of the diagnostic criteria. E.g. OSDD-1A is used when there's a lack of distinct identities or no identities. OSDD-1B is used when there's a lack of memory gaps. (The separate OSDD categories don't properly exist as a diagnosis themselves - they are carried over from DDNOS.)

What is UDD? UDD stands for Unspecified Dissociative Disorder. It's often used as a placeholder diagnosis by professionals to say that although there is a dissociative disorder, they're not sure what it is.

What is a non-disordered system? A non-disordered system is a system without DID, OSDD, or UDD. They don't experience the disorders or do not fit the criteria. 

What is traumagenic, endogenic, mixed-origins, etc.? Traumagenic is a system that is formed from trauma. Endogenic is a system that is formed without trauma. Mixed-origins is a system that has multiple origins, E.g. some alters came from trauma and some did not.

What is a Tulpa? A Tulpa is a created identity that comes from repeatedly feeding information on one character or multiple characters into the brain. It can be purposeful or accidental.

DID/OSDD/UDD are trauma disorders? The diagnostic criteria for the disorders don't include trauma being necessary, nor does it anywhere else in the category. Trauma disorders and dissociative disorders are also categorised separately, and there are past studied cases of DID that weren't caused by trauma. The DSM-V-TR also includes a section that states trauma isn't necessary for a diagnosis.

You need trauma to be a system? The DSM-V specifies that a diagnosis of DID cannot be applied to cultural plurality. Culture-related plurality has existed and been documented for centuries, erased by colonisation and racism. Common cultural plurality includes Tibetan Buddhism, many Two-Spirit folk, medians, and mediums. These and more are all plural.

Dissociation is a trauma reaction? You’ll find nearly every if not every professional refers to some dissociation as “trauma-related dissociation” - take, for example, Kathy Steele, one of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation, whose work consists almost only of “trauma-related dissociation”. That wouldn’t be necessary if dissociation only came from trauma. Dissociation is commonly shown to exist both inside and outside of other disorders. It’s especially common in BPD, ADHD, MADD, autism, and a few other disorders.

So only cultural and spiritual plurality can be non-traumagenic? They’re the most well-researched, but not the only non-traumagenic plurality. There are a few different theories as to how other plurality can form. Many experience their plurality caused by mostly unrelated disorders - autism, ADHD, BPD, Bipolar Disorder, MADD, etc. Others report accidentally creating alters, especially those who focus on characters, such as writers, artists, and authors. Yet more simply say they were born with their plurality, or grew up being plural without trauma being the cause. We believe plurality that hasn’t existed since birth could be caused by a “feedback loop” (here) in which one’s brain, after being fed repeated information, begins to predict the information, therefore creating actions to fill that prediction. This could be used to explain Tulpamancy (repeated info), artists/authors/writers (repeated info), ASD (masking and special interests), ADHD (masking and hyperfixations), BPD (splitting and more), MADD (repeated info), Bipolar (different states), and so on. 

Endogenic systems harm traumagenic systems? We and others have asked multiple times for sysmeds to tell us why they think endogenic systems hurt them, and every time we’ve either received silence or something that’s already been covered. Besides that, anti-endos hurt other traumagenic systems with their BS far more than endogenic systems might hurt them.

Anti-endos hurt traumagenic systems? Yup, and very frequently, considering sysmeds repeat the exact same information. Sysmeds say you have to be disordered to be a system - traumagenic systems exist without being disordered. Sysmeds say endogenic systems stole traumagenic terms - a mix of the communities coined the majority of system terms, and “endogenic” was coined by a traumagenic system. Sysmeds say what someone went through isn’t traumatising or horrific enough - traumagenic systems can be caused by any amount of trauma, no matter how “insignificant” it seems. Sysmeds repeatedly tell endogenic systems they need to have trauma - telling someone they have to have trauma when they either don’t or have amnesia around it can be incredibly damaging and has hurt many traumagenic systems. Sysmeds say they need to go to a psychologist or a therapist and be diagnosed - many traumagenic systems can’t be diagnosed. Many endogenic systems have trauma, just know they weren’t formed from it, and anti-endos repeatedly mock them about having trauma. There’s much, much more, but to end it, as a traumagenic system, we’ve personally been assaulted, harassed, threatened, told to kill ourself, and had our trauma completely invalidated and discarded by anti-endo traumagenic systems.

Expired Links Looking for alternatives

Endogenic Research (Text Form) - NightFallSystem

----------------------------

Hey everybody.

This is a list of the research and resources we've compiled over the last year or so that refers in some way to plurality, especially in the context of being endogenic and non-traumagenic supportive.

We often argue this subject on Twitter, alongside (hope you don't mind the tags) @cambriancrew and @sophieinwonderland . We've included a few of their posts in this, as they do share some wonderful information. Sophie deals in mainly Tulpamancy, we believe? And Cambrians does a wide range of things. They've both been incredibly helpful, so big credit and massive thank you to those two (and anyone else in this document) :)

Feel free to link this post or the document itself to anyone. Link it everywhere. Feel free to tag us too, as your friendly neighbourhood endo-friendly traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD. Our collective pronouns are phe/phex/phins, and we're collectively called Guardians or Guardians System.

Hope this helps some folks! If anything's wrong in this post, mention it in the notes (we think that's how Tumblr works?) and we'll adjust it in the Google Document. Alternatively, if you'd prefer to remain anonymous or would like to talk to us directly, you can check our LinkTree at the top of this page. We're always open to feedback and new research! We're especially interested in making our document more reader-friendly, as it can be a bit of an eyesore. but we're not the best at formatting documents.

If we do receive updates to edit some information, we'll be doing so on the document, so always double-check there in case there's been a change. If there are enough updates, we'll redo this post, but hopefully, that won't be necessary for a long time, because formatting all this in Tumblr is more than enough for us.

Thank you for reading!

-Rakan (not Marcus, fuck you Marcus)

[system-of-a-feather]

Nostalgic Campfire Rambles: Childhood Fictive -> Primary Host Ramble

I feel that is a good title to summarize what this is generally probably going to be centered on cause I got back from watching the new Wonka movie, and I always forget how much "Pure Imagination" and it's variants and the themes surrounding and shows that use it have always really hit home a lot as a part

Cause for those that don't know (which I don't think I've talked much about it because I personally don't even think back to it often let alone talk about it) before being host, before being really anything, I was originally introjected first and foremost as a "knight" "guardian" and imaginary play friend to keep our previous host at the time both company, having fun exploring both internally and in external play, and to generally keep said host and a few other parts hopeful and believing in a better end for us than what most of the system really stuck with.

And when childhood moves resulted in a lot of social stress and high pressure demands to adapt to new environments and make friends rapidly, I ended up also taking on social protector for a combination of positive and negative reasons, but one of which being that my ability to both engage other kids with fun imaginative worlds to self express in and ALSO my affinity to appeal to those struggling / outcasted by the fact I solely existed to accompany a traumatized outcasted child made me very good - as a child - for making friends.

And at the core of it, that was 85% of my function and existence for the first like 5-7 years of me "existing" and I always forget - having been primary host for at least 8 years now - that I was not *meant* to be out this long, that I wasn't *meant* to be host, that I wasn't *meant* to be a complex or elaborate part or anything like that.

And I don't mean that in a derogatory or doomer manner, but more so that the very means of which my perception and way of approaching the world was solely meant to be used as a survival mechanism in shitty situations to nurse and soothe high levels of distress. I'm *supposed* to be unbelievable, undying, and unrealistic hope and optimism that the system can blindly believe in when they are at the lowest of lows and that isn't *supposed* to be something that is meant to be kept up for *eight years* as the *primary fronter*.

And I forget just how extremely hard and long it took to modify the shit I was "given" and reconstruct it into something that could work as a host.

And I remember back in the first like 5-6 years of being "host", I almost always approached it as a "I am here just to fix it so that one of the True Owners can come back to a better life" and for those 5-6 years, being a "host" was a temporary job I "stepped up to" (more so got chucked it after one of the two original hosts completely dipped into dormancy and the other one already had 'given up on reality') until it was safe for one of the two to take their life back.

But over the years, and a lot of DID focused therapy, did I realize it was very much not going to happen and that this was a "for the foreseeable future" position and that if it were to change, it would almost certainly be through fusion / splitting rather than anything else. And it was a really guilty thing to realize for the first half year to a year and it was something that really didn't work for the longest time.

Honestly it only worked because I have one of the most fucking complex subsystems (which we fuse and unfuse regularly these days as its convenient) which made it possible to be functioning at an IMPOSSIBLY unsustainable manner for so long.

These days, being host is a lot more sustainable and easier and its honestly most of what I know and I'm good with that because I've really learned how to live As A Host in a sustainable way and really managed to hang up my "caretaker" and "protector" default lens in favor for a default host lense. Instead I pick those lenses up as they are helpful and it's done a lot to help my mental state, functioning, etc etc

But every so often, I think back to where I came from as a part in specific, and I realize.... despite all that growth, all that splitting and fusion that honestly leaves me HARDLY identifying with my source at all, I still very much operate on the same "machinery" of my original split-function as a very core aspect of how I engage with the world, the system, and how I just perceive things.

If anything, parts split and fused and shaped partially around it, to make it so that my natural nature and my role could co-exist sustainably - its part of why XIV and I are a "must have" duo for either of us to sustainably host.

But in the end of the day? I, as a part, am still a part very deeply driven by a very ideal and desired image of what I want to see and what I want to make happen in our life and in the world. I have very clear images of what I intend to see and intend to do and I am really anchored in making that a reality and making people - internal and external - believe in my ability to make that a reality.

I always have done that, I just have gone and taken it to the real world and our system had to adapt to the fact that its not something you can really separate from me as a part and thus something that we had to work safety plans and adaptations around as to make it possible to be undyingly dedicated and fully confident in my own vision. And it's honestly kind of an unnatural and unwavering confidence, dedication, and stubborn patience that I think really only comes from someone who originally split off as a fucking Shounen Protagonist troped character who sat around talking about escaping and exploring far away worlds and the conflicts of light and dark and nothingness and overcoming shit and all that crap.

I don't really operate well in a way of "I dream" or "I want" or "it would be nice" because I don't - from my original splitting off purpose - have the understanding of having luxury of being at all unsure or doubting in my vision of a better future for our system. It's all "I will" and "when I", because growing up, within my original function, if we were in crisis and completely low on hope - telling the traumatized depressed and desperate kid I existed to be the hopeful best buddy of that "I hope" and "I would like" and "I dream" that we would be able to be happy, be free, have anything worth living for, would not suffice to keep us alive and engaged in our own survival.

Back then, there wasn't room for "it would be nice" - there was only room for me to AUTHENTICALLY say and believe "Hey, you know, when we get the chance, we will go out and do this, we will have this and that and we will have these things to make sure we are always happy and safe. Of course we will because I have a plan. I know what we are doing, where we are going, and I know how to navigate obstacles. As long as you stay with me, I promise, there is no world where I will fail to show you that future that we can make when we get the chance"

And for better or worse, it's really gotten us far. It came at a huge fucking cost because the sheer number of times I had huge mental breakdowns and massive collapses and the system had scary crisis moments back when we were trying to figure out a way to keep me mentally sane WHILE literally having other severely depressed and suicidal parts literally (they had admitted it) waiting for *me* to give up and loose faith so they could feel ok *fully giving up* and thus forcing me to sustain the unrealistic and unsustainable sense of confidence and vision.... but like

Honestly, ever since XIV has been co-host, that hasn't been an issue because the two of us serve as eachother's "hope providing unwavering best friend" so now that there are two of us, we can both alternate and fill in for one another in the system when one of us is "down" and we can also serve the same role back to pull one another up.

And its been like three years or so since we established that dynamic and it really almost completely negated the "unsustainable" nature of the whole way our part of the brain approaches things and instead almost like... developed a "infinite unwavering confidence and faith in our ability to make whatever we think of a reality glitch" cause XIV and I loop endlessly in supporting one another and both of us exude enough dedication, ruthlessness, and vision to provide hope and engagement to the entire system

And it's really neat. Cause for the most part - this whole thing also applies to XIV as we are split from the same "original introject", we just both internalized and adapted our original functions in VERY drastically different ways.

But I dunno, I was just feeling a bit nostalgic and wanted to ramble and share. Feel free to chat and comment and add on if you like to this. This isn't really a vent but just kinda a "I wanted to share a story / reflection with you all" and so I gladly welcome and encourage anyone to be nostalgic and/or ramble and/or chat about anything this post might bring up in yall

Imagine we are at a cozy campfire in the forest with clear skies and bright stars just sharing the story of our lives. If you all wanna share, its the nature of the campfire and are more than welcome

I honestly might make that a tag "nostalgic campfire rambles"

-----

(Endos and anyone who identifies as someone with DID, someone with a CDD, plural, and/or a system are welcome to engage in this post. We're just out here chatting about life and existence, it doesn't have to be clinical or too serious and I just like chatting)

[thestarpletsystem]

Technically, if you’re plural, every project is a group project. Give your headmates credit

[snowyapricity]

plural culture is asking yourself, “am i faking it?” and a headmate immediately replying, “i’m real, dumbass”

[rxttenslutcemeterysys]

hey, yeah you! the angry ones, the aggressive ones, the violent ones. cm'here i got something to say to you.

hey there...

the ones who get irritated really quickly and snap at the wrong person.

the ones who get angry quickly but it goes away quickly, especially when the ones around you don't get over it so fast.

the ones who first thought is to hurt the one who caused you this anger, or just the first person in sight.

the ones who direct their anger at themselves.

the ones who direct their anger at their environment instead of themselves or the people around them.

the ones who get so angry their body burns with heat, causing the anger to worsen.

the ones who get so angry they flip the numb switch and can't feel anything for a while.

the ones who act on those violent thoughts.

the ones who hide their anger and bottle it up over and over again until it explodes.

the ones who can't tell their anger apart from other emotions.

the ones who get stuck in their head due to their rage.

the ones who spiral when they get angry.

the ones who get even angrier when you let yourself spiral cause of your anger.

the ones who get angry over the littlest thing.

i see you, and despite all of this you are still worthy of being loved. worthy of being seen as an equal. worthy of being cared for. worthy of being treated as another 'normal' person.

i love you (/p). your anger doesn't define you, even though it might seem like it does.

[1buk1m1d04]

“We need more weird people” ya’ll can’t handle non truamagenic systems

[wafflecreamcat]

They're so silly asf I love em :3 ! 💕

[tommyssupercoolblog]

a plural edit of the trans comic by @ vsemily

(flags used are the DID flag, the OSDD flag, and the general plural flag - edit: I have received multiple comments and am now aware of the history behind this version of the DID flag and won't use it anymore moving forward, however I don't plan to delete the post entirely.)

[loveloveplural]

plurality is not defined by switching.

plurality is not defined by headcount.

plurality is not defined by an inner world.

plurality is not defined by distinct headmates.

plurality is not defined by communication.

plurality is not defined by getting along internally.

plurality is not defined by an origin.

plurality is defined by multiple consciousnesses/identities in one body. if you say you’re plural, we and many, many others will always believe you. no two plurals are the same, and no one can tell you what you are or aren’t 💞

[theswiftheartsystem]

[interstellarsystem]

Nonhumans are here, even if you do not see us. We always will be. We are often hard to spot, but can be found doing all the things a human might.

A cat went to work at an event stall for a mental health service.

A massive sea serpent wanted to go to science class because it enjoyed it more than the rest of those living in its shared form.

The void sat down, huddled up in a blanket, to watch a tv show with its partners. It had to stop watching after a bit, but enjoyed spending time with those close to it anyway.

A wolf went to a psychologist appointment and gratefully drank the hot chocolate they were offered in the waiting room.

A shapeshifting being of pure darkness spoke publicly about trans rights in front of politicians and then went to the pride festival he helped fight to keep alive.

A dragon went to school so the others sharing his human body could have a break.

A manifestation of the fear of madness itself sat in the food court at the mall eating mochi and drinking tea while waiting for its friends to get back from shopping.

A witch drew a picture of his cardinal bird and shared the work he was so proud of with his friends.

A cockatoo borrowed the next book in his favourite series from the school library and almost couldn't wait the whole day to go home and read it.

An alien went camping and watched the birds outside and the way the wind made waves and patterns on the water.

A fallen angel went shopping for sunglasses to shield his eyes from how bright the sun was.

A harpy went shopping for new plants to look after. He named a few because he loved them so much, and sent pictures to all of his friends.

An anthropomorphic hedgehog traded Pokemon cards with his peers at school. He was happy with his collection.

You may not see us, and you may feel alone, but you are not. We are just hidden. We are in more places than you'd think, and in the places you'd least expect. We are complex, we are valued, and we are here.

[septiccoffeefreak]

"who's the evil alter" Me, if you don't shut your ass up right now

[allegedlysilly]

[collectivecorie]

my personality is that i have multiple and you need to guess which one i am whenever we interact

[snowyapricity]

treat yourself with the kindness that you deserve!

[genderqueerdykes]

shoutout to the plurals who are too dissociated, confused or blurry to ever tell who's fronting. shoutout to the plurals who struggle to identify their headmates or know how big their system is. shoutout to the plurals who don't have well-defined headspace or one at all. shoutout to the plurals who lose more time than they remember. shoutout to the plurals who are doing their absolute best