#especially when who AM i kidding i dont fucking pass

[munch-mumbles]

trans people working retail should be allowed to tell one customer a day to ***

[not-actually-human]

.,.

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[l1tw1ck]

Heizou and the Dad He'd Like to Fuck

Your neighbor Heizou decides to pay you a visit

FTM!Heizou x Top!Male Reader

Warnings: Non-Con Somnophilia, Oral, Creampie, Age Gap (Reader Age Unspecified), Daddy Kink

Words: 1,323

"Oh, Heizou? What brings you here?" You open the door to your neighbor. He was wearing a very cute outfit, a loose white tank top and brown booty shorts. If you looked at him from the side, you could see a part of his tits. He apparently wasn't the type to wear bras.

"I know you're alone during the day so I wanted to give you some company! I made you something...it's my own special recipe," Heizou smiles and shows you the dish he made. "I call it The Only Truth."

"It looks great, I appreciate that you're thinking of me Heizou. Come in." You step out of the doorway, allowing Heizou to come in. You lead him to the table and go into the kitchen to look for the right utensils to eat it.

"How have you been?" You ask, sitting across from Heizou.

"I've been great! I'm actually the top of my class." Heizou grins smugly.

"Congrats!" You clap. "I can't wait til my kids get to college." You sigh happily.

"Thanks, I wonder what major they'll choose." Heizou smiles at your expression.

"This is amazing, Heizou! You're a great cook!" You praise him. "That's a good skill to have y'know? Especially when you get married, you gotta pull your weight."

"Y- yeah. Thank you.." Heizou blushes.

"I'm not the greatest cook myself, my husband is the one who cooks here. I make up for it with my job though." You laugh. You didn't work everyday but you got paid very well.

Heizou smiles.

The two of you continue talking and end up watching TV on the couch. You got yourself a few cans of beer, it was very early for you to be drinking but you were feeling stressed.

"(Name), is everything okay?" Heizou asks.

"Yeah....no..." You shook your head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna bother you with it. You're only 19, you don't wanna hear an old man like me vent."

"I do, just tell me." Heizou insists.

"Alright..." You sigh.

"Me and my husband haven't been getting along lately. We're really only together for the kids. I want a divorce but it would hurt our kids. My husband sleeps in the guest room now." You take a big sip of your drink. "I know it's bad to stay together with the kids but the both of us have traits our kids can't live without. He cooks and I work. His job doesn't pay enough to properly support the kids."

"I see.." Heizou hides a smile. "If you were to get a divorce, would you have full custody?"

"I'd want to but they'd have to eat my shitty cooking everyday." You laugh.

"I could cook for them."

"You're a college student, you should focus on that instead. Not somebody else's kids."

"If I lived here though...I live alone so it'd be nice to be around a family."

"Why would you want to?"

"Because I like you." Heizou leans towards you.

You look at him in shock. I mean, sure you had a few passing sinful thoughts about Heizou but you never wanted to indulge in them. The age gap kept you away.

"Heizou-"

"I know we haven't known each other long but I really do like you." Heizou goes in to kiss you, locking your lips together.

And maybe it was because you were feeling upset and had 2 cans of beer, but you found yourself kissing him back.

Heizou moves his hand past your thigh, palming your crotch.

"Mm- Hey-" You put your hand on his wrist.

Heizou frowns. "Why?"

"Kissing is where I draw the line, okay? You're just too young." You move his hand away.

"I'm an adult! I live alone, how am I too young?" Heizou huffs.

"Maybe in a few years but I just can't date a 19 year old. It's not right."

"How? I don't understand...This is perfectly legal!"

"It's not right to me, I'm sorry. I think you should go home." You stand up.

Heizou sighs and reluctantly leaves the house, not without secretly swiping the extra key though.

──────────────────

*Both of you are whispering i just dont wanna italicize all of it sorry*

Heizou sneaks into your house late at night, knowing you'd be there asleep. He knows all too well how illegal his entire plan is but he doesn't care. It's not like he's going to murder you.

He creeps into your room and quietly makes his way onto your bed. He thanks the Archons for your bad marriage.

He pulls down your pants and underwear, freeing your soft dick. He spits on his hand and jerks you off to full size, he was practically drooling at the sight.

He licks the tip of your dick, taking in the taste and smell of your pre cum, before he sucks you off.

You weren't too heavy of a sleeper so you eventually woke up to Heizou's head bobbing up and down on your dick.

"What the-" Your words are cut off by a low moan forcing its way out of your mouth.

Heizou reluctantly removes his mouth from your dick and looks up at you. "You're awake.."

Yeah, and incredibly horny. You had an erection that needed to be taken care of and you were so damn worked up and tired you decided to use Heizou to do it.

You pulled Heizou up and pinned him down on the bed. You took his shorts off with ease. The dim light that shone from the curtains revealed Heizou's ecstatic expression.

"Yes!" Heizou pulls his shirt off then his underwear. He was dripping wet, he even had slick on the inner part of his thighs.

"You're a whore, you know that?" You line your dick up to his hole.

"I'm a whore!" Heizou nods. "Please fuck this slutty little whore daddy!"

You were glad your kids never called you that.

"Don't you dare complain, got it?" You started to ease yourself into him.

"Mm- yes daddy~" Heizou nods, biting his lip to hold back his moans.

"Fuck- you're tight." You groan, stopping and giving Heizou time to adjust.

"Move, please."

"'S gonna hurt."

"Please daddy." Heizou pouts. "I won't complain at all."

"Fuck. Fine." You grip onto his waist, thrusting into him like there's no tomorrow. Heizou covers his mouth, his small tits moving along with your thrusts. You regretted rejecting him earlier.

"Mmph~!"

You hated that you couldn't hear his moans but there was no way in hell you were going to stop and change locations.

"You're doing so good." You groan. "Just like that, taking me so well."

Heizou bites his hand, holding back a loud moan.

"You're so much fucking better than my husband." You praise Heizou. "He rarely had sex with me. You're so perfect compared to him..."

He bites harder, he's so happy but he has to be quiet.

"I could make you into my wife. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Your hand trails up to Heizou's chest, your thumb circling his nipple.

Heizou nods his head rapidly.

"I'd fuck you all the damn time." You lean into his ear. "You'd be my little bitch."

"D- da~ daddy~" Heizou manages to speak quietly. "Cu- cu-" He covers his mouth again as he feels his orgasm quickly approaching.

"Slut." That one word is enough to have Heizou's back arching as he has the most intense orgasm he's ever had. He squirts all over the two of you.

"Fuck-" You feel your own orgasm coming after witnessing that. "I'm close."

Heizou wraps his legs around you, making sure you don't go anywhere.

"You want me to- fuck-" You couldn't hold it in anymore, you shoot your load into him.

"Mm~" Heizou removes his hands and grins.

You pull out and flip Heizou over, lifting his ass up and watching as your cum drips down onto your bed. You'll clean the sheets in the morning.

"Daddy?" Heizou looks back at you, confused.

"What? You thought that was it?" You smirk. "I'm gonna pound you til the sun comes up."

[sgiandubh]

Life beyond OL - Xmas movies and a short Bucharest tour

About three weeks ago, What Else Anon prompted me to tell her what else I was reading, watching or interested in lately (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/734634576675274752/so-about-tcnd-no-im-kidding-dont-throw-me). That gave me an idea for a poll:

Should I turn this ask into a Life Beyond OL weekly, preferably on Tuesdays?

97,1% of the 35 brave people to answer said yes, so here we are.

Reading won't do it this hectic week: since Friday is my last day on the job before the holidays, I'm literally in a wrap-up frenzy, both at home and at the office. Let's say I am not exactly the type who buys her presents in July, which pretty much explains the circus.

As for watching, well: nope, I will not watch A Princess for Christmas if you'd pay me. It's both beyond and beneath my dignity, I am afraid and bless The Boy, but that is not enough for an incentive. By the same token, I shall not willingly acknowledge in public (at the blessed age of 45) that I know all the damn lines of Home Alone 1 by heart. With age, my absolute go-to Xmas movie has to be Love Actually. If only for this perfect opening scene with 0 cheesiness in it - you watch it and you are immediately hooked:

Interested in: going home for Christmas, what else? And before local exasperation hits hard (roughly two days after arrival, to be honest), I am still procrastinating on YouTube and watching those foot-in-mouth travel vlogs ('John and Jane Doe do ...'). In a sea of meh, you might find something interesting enough: I have no idea who Sammy & Tommy are, but they are smart people and they surely know a thing or two about travel. Once in Bucharest, my hometown, they followed their instinct and engaged with the natives - always the best plan.

Let's say it was worth it and probably went above and beyond their expectations: we tend to be obnoxiously hospitable. And I found the bakery people flawlessly endearing. I can confidently say it was something absolutely spontaneous and something I would do myself anytime for a total stranger:

A bit of context: the Cișmigiu Gardens look way better than the last time I ventured in there. It is probably one of the most beloved parks of the city, a stone throw away from the Old Town, and also a wannabe copycat of Munich's Englischer Garten.

The featured bakery & cake shop are actually quite decent, serving traditional pastries from Transylvania (the West of the country) and some of the local dessert mishmash fare. Despite what the very nice bakery guy is telling Sammy and Tommy, neither savarina, nor amandina are 'traditional ' Romanian cakes. Savarina is simply the Polish/French rum baba, Stohrer invented for Stanisław I Leszczyński, the exiled Polish king who was also Louis XV's father in law. As for the other one, let's say it could be the love child of a Sachertorte and a Rigó Jancsi cake - totally Austro-Hungarian (Wikipedia babbles: it has nothing to do with French cuisine!)! Both sickeningly sweet and both personal favorites, amen. The first one they tried, cozonac, is a babka spinoff: something I hate with a passion, but also something that is going to be literally every(fucking)where this Christmas ('oh, you don't like my cozonac?! huh, nonono, I do, it's so fabulous I am taking my time!').

Honestly? This is a place that suffered a lot, especially during the Eighties, when Ceaușescu thought it would be a great idea to bulldoze about 60% of the old neighborhoods, after the horrific 1977 earthquake (perfect pretext). Words could never decently describe the shock, the drama and the abuse: people throwing themselves under the first passing car as their beloved houses were torn down, people displaced in the middle of nowhere, a human chain of people holding hands in a failed attempt to stop the demolition of a beloved church. All that quiet, endearing charm suddenly replaced by a Pyongyang transplant smack in the middle of town. This explaining perhaps why Bucharest is not the best/most touted tourist destination in my country. Tourists usually choose Transylvania (absolutely deserved) or, if they really want to be adventurous, Bucovina (or Țara de Sus, literally: The Highlands, hehe) - an off the beaten track gem and a very special place to me (half of my family hails from there). Impressed to see these guys hit Timișoara - one of the most beautiful, interesting and definitely underrated cities, right next to the border with both Hungary and Serbia.

Nice guys or not, I would never take you to that bakery, though. Nah: I'd take you round the corner, at the Athénée Palace's English Bar - the red arrow marks my very own spot since, heh, forever? And we'd have the Amalfi Old Fashioned cocktails: they are mandatory, here.

PS: the Romanian guy kept his word and took them places the next day. I'd happily babble about this next week, though - from home. :)

[dappledpaintbrush]

If it becomes more than a dream, what do you think a Super Paper Mario movie would be like?

Please write down everything you have to say, it doesn't matter if it's a 100 page essay I would like to read it.

When I finally get not only yapping permission, but also yapping endorsement

I think about the SPM movie a LOT. Not because I think it’s going to happen but because I’m insane. I also think it works better as a show, but I always must migrate to thinking of it as a movie lol. I talk a lot I’m gonna divide my thoughts into sections (Again, I’m turning off reblogs because reblogging an ask gets rid of the read-more, I’m sorry!! It’s for the best LMAO)

Rating:

I would LOVE if they addressed it like the FNAF movie. I remember people talking about how “oh it’s gonna be for kids because it’s a kid’s franchise and they’re gonna make more money if they made it for kids” but they made it PG-13 and. Everything was fine. They made a shit ton of money and everything was fine. Point is, I think SPM would work best as a PG-13 movie. And yeah it sounds like that one clip of SpongeBob and Patrick screaming in terror on a baby rollercoaster, but SPM does have elements that would be Difficult to put in a movie format and still make it rated PG. With the game, it can be passed off as cartoon mischief and thus be E for everyone, sure, but in a movie? I don’t see it. And let me clarify- I know they could make the hypothetical SPM movie be rated PG and still have its original plot, but I believe that is only if they cut down on a lot of things and make it very goofy and overall remove the heart of the story. But do I think it would be fucking PEAK as a PG-13 movie? Hell yeah. They could have a lot more leg-room to truly pay homage to the game, which is known as one of Mario’s darker stories for a good reason.

But do I believe they would make it PG-13? No. Definitely PG. Again, I know this is a Mario game and it’s not some super evil sick twisted story oh my god cover your eyes little timmy blah blah blah, but STILL. Pulling off some of its core scenes on the big screen where there’s SO much more detail in the animation and the voice acting etc etc etc would be hard to accomplish without making said scenes less impactful or even shallow. And if you still think I’m being dramatic, the mario movie is rated PG. The Mario movie. And all Mario did was get punched and got a bruise on his eye. I’m sure if there was a storyboard scene of him, Luigi, Bowser, and Peach getting set on fire and going to the afterlife, it would have been SCRAPPED. OR, it would have absolutely no emotion other than “erm… THAT just happened!” Take your pick.

All in all, if it were to happen, the SPM movie will lose some things. Nintendo would NEVER allow Mario to be in an PG-13 movie. It’s unfortunate :(

Speaking of the Afterlife:

Nintendo will have to cut out the Underwhere, Overthere, Grambi, and maybe even Luvbi and Bonechill. OR, completely revamp that whole thing to make it as religiously ambiguous as possible. No fucking doubt about it. At ALL. I can already see the change.org petition run by a Christian mother screaming at Nintendo for blaspheming God and making a joke out of heaven and hell “which are very real and you’re teaching kids it’s some silly fake thing in a fake Mario movie BUT NO PEOPLE HAS TO KNOW THEY WILL BURN FOREVER IF THEY DONT OBEY!!!” (Note: just in case it wasn’t obvious, I am mocking the Christian mother in the quotation marks). I’m surprised Nintendo even got away with it in the first place, ESPECIALLY regarding Luvbi and Bonechill. I put “maybe” regarding those two because it’s likely 2 and 2 won’t be put together about who inspired their characters, but at the same time. It probably will. Yeah it definitely will

Bonechill is directly inspired by Satan, and Luvbi makes indirect references to Jesus. Regarding Bonechill, to quote from his Wiki:

“Tippi's tattle says that Bonechill may have once been a Nimbi, which is supported by the fact that he has feathered wings on his back. This fits into the overall motif of The Underwhere and The Overthere, which draw heavily from both Ancient Greek mythology and the Christian religion. In particular, the concept of a fallen angel (Nimbi) is inspired by the Biblical story of Lucifer, who became the devil after betraying God. Furthermore, in Dante's Inferno (of the epic Italian poem, the Divine Comedy), Lucifer (now known as Satan) is depicted as a giant, six-winged beast imprisoned in ice in the deepest circle of Hell. This is all paralleled by how Bonechill has six wings, was imprisoned deep below the Underwhere, and is a self-styled "master of the cold dark" who uses ice breath to attack and is "something of an evil celebrity in certain circles of the Underwhere". Similarly, his being released during an apocalyptic event (the emergence of The Void) may be derived from the Book of Revelation, where Satan escapes from hell and he and his army are battled and defeated in heaven.”

Do you see that shit. Do you think Nintendo would risk doing this in a movie, let alone ever again in any game?The backlash would be INSANE. And they could easily call Luvbi a blasphemous mockery of Jesus because she sacrificed herself to save the world, AND CAME BACK LATER😭😭😭😭😭

Anyways, yeah. In the SPM movie, that whole chapter of the game is what’s going to be changed the most. It likely will be solely based off Greek mythology with no Christian themes involved. Or even LESS than that if they’re too scared. God I wish they weren’t. That chapter is one of my favorites in the whole game (mostly bc it’s crazy to me how Nintendo didn’t chicken out of making it), and it sucks so bad to know it’ll likely be almost nonexistent if the SPM movie were to happen.

Run-Time:

This game is. Long.

In my perfect world, I like to think of it as one big grand movie and it’s the longest animated movie ever made and it’s animated by Dreamworks in the style of Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and it has 5/5 stars and critics are crying and screaming of joy and everybody who clowned on this game has personally showed up to my door to apologize for their wrongdoing and beg for my forgiveness. But unfortunately we can’t have everything we want

I don’t think they will cut out any of the dimensions, I just think that most side plots will be rushed through like a montage :/ It’s why I think it will work best as a series. Every episode could be dedicated to a Dimensional Door. But that also means it’ll likely have less of a budget which sucks

Blumiere and Dimentio:

Something will have to change.

First of all, Blumiere. I don’t exactly know HOW, but they will have to change about his story. The game itself has already gotten criticized for “romanticizing a toxic relationship” between Blumiere and Timpani, and that criticism will be MAGNIFIED with a blockbuster film. Again, I don’t know how the will do it, but they’ll have to adjust that plot to please the masses more than likely. It fucking sucks. But this is modern Nintendo. They are going to go the safest route possible.

That’s not the only thing regarding Blumiere that will have change. Yk how the game also gets criticized for giving Blumiere a happy ending but not Dimentio despite the fact that, regardless of their motivations, they both tried to kill everyone? That criticism will also be magnified with the release of a movie. They’ll have to modify the story to make Blumiere’s actions significantly less evil than Dimentio’s, which could be accomplished through making it so that Blumiere is mind-controlled by the Dark Prognosticus. OR, they’ll have to give Dimentio a happy ending too, whether that be he survives and changes his ways (BOOOOO🍅🍅🍅), or he also gets the “he’s alive somewhere” treatment like Blumiere and Timpani did. However, in order to accomplish that successfully with an audience of five years olds, they’ll have to directly talk about Dimentio’s own tragic backstory with as much weight as they do Blumiere’s. And l. Don’t see that happening. It would be absolutely CRAZY if it did and I would probably pass out in the theatre if we got to see the Pixl Creator, but yeah, it’s unlikely.

Mr. L:

Some good news! I see them making Mr. L recognizable

They probably won’t.

BUT THEY LIKELY WILL

In the first movie, Mario and Luigi’s bond was shown in ways they have rarely done before. Their love and care for one another is clearly shown, not just “that’s my brother Luigi wahoo!” or something. I mean come on, think of the hug scene. And you mean to tell me in the 2nd or 3rd or idk movie, Mario can’t recognize him with a blindfold on? Be serious

In a game, yeah haha funny gag, but in a movie, it’ll be met with more annoyance than anything and it’ll be really disingenuous, and it already does get that criticism in the game where it’s arguably “more acceptable.”

Conclusion:

There’s a lot more that can be discussed, but this is all I’ve put a significant lot of thought into about what I think the SPM movie would be like if I thought about it realistically. Basically, if it’s gonna truly be an SPM movie, Nintendo’s gonna have to grow a backbone. But even then, I still think it would be a great movie, especially in the eyes of those who haven’t played the game and thus don’t have the same “ARGHH BUT YOU FORGOT FLIP-FOLK NUMBER FORTY TWO” mentality that I have LMAO. And even THEN, I still think it would be a great movie. Nintendo will just have to be reaaaally careful to adapt to the limitations (that they put on themselves 💀) and still make it a movie about Super Paper Mario.

[arthurthethird]

Hello, hope your having a good day/night?

I dont know if your still taking requests but if you are could I request HH Arthur Morgan x LH Male S/O

A/N: I'm sick, so I might write more fanfics now. Hopefully you'll enjoy <3 I'm sorry if it's not what you had in mind!

HH Arthur Morgan x LH Male Reader

"Crazy bastard"

You were sitting by the fire late at night, drowning your sorrows in some whiskey. It was the usual time where dark thoughts came over you. You were a bad man. A horrible one. You lived a bad life. Not by choice... You had to adapt to the life you were thrown into.

Taken in by a strange couple and their unruly son when you were just a kid. Saved from getting shop by an angry shop lifter. What an interesting day.

"Hand them over boy..." The man growled at you. You hugged the two cans of beans closer to you, glaring at him. You were desperate, starving. You didn't know how to use a gun, how to hunt, so you had to steal. This time however, you got unlucky.

"Piss off" you hissed at him. The man looked furious, pulling a gun out, pointing at you. You froze, feeling like a caged animal. Nowhere to go, getting killed over some food... Not exactly how you wanted to die. Your pa would be disappointed.

No, he'd be disappointed if you gave up. You won't. You held the cans tighter, only raising one hand slowly. The man watched you, hoping you'll pass the cans over to him, and instead was greeted with a middle finger. You gave him a grin.

"I am not dying yet partner" you pushed down the fear, getting ready for a bullet. If you're going to die, then at least with some honor.

There was a gunshot.

But the bullet never came. Instead, the man fell on his knees, wide eye, blood slowly leaving his mouth. He fell on the ground, face first. You looked at him confused before noticing a hole in the back of his head. There was a quiet chuckle behind him.

"Nice work Arthur" said a black haired man, you soon-to-be leader, walking over the man, approaching you. "Now who do we have here?"

From that day on you joined Dutch's boys, becoming their second son. You grew close with Arthur, akward conversation turning into late night talks. But, it wasn't a family you hoped for.

You killed many people. Men, women, children sometimes too. Robbed people, both wealthy and poor. Became an errand boy, especially when Herr Strauss joined, having to go around collecting debts. Beating the crying people who begged for mercy.

You were there when the Backwater mess happened. When John got brought back from being torn apart by wolves. When they brought the woman, Mrs. Adler and the "not O'Driscoll" in. When they brought Sean back home.

And now you were stuck near Rhodes, staring at the fire, thinking how your life would look if you'd try to be a good man. If you tried to behave. If you didn't stole those damn beans.

You got up, sighing heavily, feeling the alcohol go into your blood. You headed over to your tent, passing Dutch. You could've stayed quiet, but something pushed you to open your mouth.

"There he is... When are we going to Tahiti, boss?" You scoffed at him, only to get a confused look. You narrowed your eyes "we both know you plan is bullshit, so how about you tell everyone the truth that we're fucked?" You growled. Dutch, now turning irritated turned to you.

"Cut it out, son. I get you're stressed, but we don't need that right now."

"oh I ain't stressed... I'm just seeing clearly" you grinned, but got yanked away to the side. You blinked confused and turned to yell at whoever grabbed you, until you realized it was your beloved Arthur Morgan.

"What are you doing Y/N?" He frowned and looked at Dutch with a sigh "he's been drinking again.... Don't mind him. You'll work it out, you always do" he nodded to him, pulling you away. You rolled your eyes, pushing him away, yet going in the same direction he was pulling you to - his tent.

"Why do you have to lick everyone's ass?" You muttered, walking in. Arthur frowned, following you.

"We're in a tough situation, no need to steer up more commotion" he walked closer to you. You turned to him, glaring at him.

"Of course, because you're the high and mighty Arthur 'Perfect Son' Morgan, aren't you?!"

He looked at you surprised. To be honest, you yourself wasn't quite sure where that came from.

You loved him. He was the love of your life, you'd never hurt him. But you were jealous. Jealous about how he was better than you. How he was nice to everyone, how they all adored him. How he got smiles and pats on the back while you got scowls and scoffs. You were a bad man, you knew that. But you wanted to be adored. To be known.

Yet being nice seemed to be pathetic.

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, placing his hand on your cheek. You let out a quier sigh, turning your head away. He was looking at you a bit, then cupped your face, turning to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing" you pushed his hands away "go be adored. Go find someone who won't ruin your reputation. Go suck everyone's dick so they love you"

"The hell are you talking about?" He laughed, but stopped, noticing you were serious. He frowned, taking your jaw, turning your head to face him.

"I am not leaving you."

"I'm not good for you, Arthur!" You glare at him. "I'm a monster! A good for nothing killer, I don't deserve you, I'm not good for you!"

"Horseshit" the man rolled his eyes. "You're perfect for me"

"I'm not! Maybe you're perfect, but I-" you couldn't even finish because Arthur captured your lips in a soft kiss. You wanted to push him off, but sighed, melting into it. He snickered quietly to which he earned a hit (more of a tap) on the chest. He slowly broke the kiss, looking you in the eyes.

"That's not true" he smiled. "You're everything I could ask for"

You were staring at him quietly, before burying your face in his chest.

"... You smell like cigarettes" you changed the subject. You always did when you got embarrassed or didn't want to face the truth. He sighed softly, petting your head.

You stayed like this for a bit, before you could hear his voice again, jumping a bit as you didn't expect it.

"Hey Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Have you had the dark thoughts again?" He placed his head on top of yours, petting you softly. You blinked.

".... Maybe a bit"

"You know what it means~" he hummed, one of his hands sliding down, grabbing your ass. You tensed up surprised before chuckling quietly.

"Crazy bastard...."

[avianreptiles]

I realized i actually dont know much about kenny, so if you want you can take this as a prompt to talk about him cuz he intrigues me....

This is not a place of honor

Okay so this is the general summary of his bullshit. I have a lore doc on the way. The lore doc goes soooo much into more detail on particular events and especially more on the reasoning and psychology of the actions in the story. The whole story itself is insane and gruesome and horrible, but i singled out on Kendrick cuz he's the most interesting in my opinion and I don't like him.

If you are waiting for the lore doc, I applaud your patience. It's coming, I swear.

Tw for talks of death, brief mentions of gore, suicide, main character deaths, politics, drugs, alcoholism, whatever. There is no happy endings in the shay/avian cinematic universe yadda yadda yadda okay

OKAY so Kendrick Poste was a transgender man born in 2098 in the right-winged, one-party dominant "democracy", the United States of Albany, to his parents, Mac and Haisley Poste. Mac and Haisley were both left-leaning and tried to raise him away from being rightwinged, but Kendrick ended up growing up not caring that much for politics. Anyways important bit, THEY WERE GOOD PARENTS. Haisley was a wonderful woman. Mac cared deeply for his son. Kendrick was When Kendrick was 12, the three of them got into a car wreck by a drunk driver, with Haisley passing away rather gruesomely, with the nature of the direction that the car hit. Namely, a good chunk of Haisley's lower and mid face had been ripped off by the carnage of the passenger door. Kendrick saw this in full view. It is very important to know that Kendrick saw this.

Kendrick and Mac are neverrrrrr the same after this. Like at all. Kendrick ends up recovering enough mentally after a couple of years and graduates high school early, applying for and getting into college at 16. The first half of the year goes by without a breeze. The second half of the year rolls by, and Kendrick falls like Icarus, got a little too close to the sun, a little too confident. After he lost all the drive to finish school, he started taking up smoking and ended up becoming "friends" with the guy that deals him weed, Percival. I can write so much on how Percival sucks but instead, I'm gonna write about how Kendrick is worse. So this guy manipulated and threatened anyone and everyone to his benefit, including his ex-girlfriend and his father. He was just some egotistical, jackass kid who got caught up gang violence and drug deals who took advantage of the people around him to make a name for himself in almost every circle of the city he lived in. He was known for just about one thing, though: Percival's big scary personal guard dog. He was a violent and often times cruel kid, cementing himself as one of the morr dangerous people to butt heads with AT FUCKING 16.

Anyways I am skipping a lot of important info but the day he turned 17, he got drafted into the war that Albany was in at the time, the Massachusetts/Albany war. The draft was basically a death sentence, as kids who got shipped off to war tended to not come back at all. For what he thought was going to be his last three weeks on earth until he had to go to the selective service office, he proceeded to let himself go almost entirely. Specific events? Threatened to kill Percival a couple times, did cocaine off of a hooker's leg at a party he went to, broke someone's wrist, and drank almost every other night. Mac at that point had given up on him, but their last conversation was when he was dropping him off at the service office, where Kendrick told him to go to hell. Anyways that was fucked up. What's up next is worse

Being drafted sucked dick. He was already pretty damn fit, and the government determined he didn't really need any physical training, but he was still a rebellious, jackass kid, and that needed fixing. Recently in the war, more draftees were going awoll, so the govs solution? Deadend. Deadend was a compound/training facility that I once described as "not supposed to make you love your country, but to fear it." At Deadend, it was basically physical torture under the guise of "if you dissent from the army/go awoll, you will have wished that the enemy had flayed you alive, with the shit we're going to do to you". It was about 2 months of that. This compound is also the reason why a lot of Albany soldiers, especially in the later years of the war, were reported to have looked "empty" or "souless" in the eyes. You had to drop your morals at the door, cuz if you didn't do everything your superior told you to, you were getting shoved into the drywall.

After 2 months, he got put into a special little group called Great Lakes Special Forces. Now I'm going to summarize some of the shit that happened in GLSF in some sort of timeline, because so much happened in the period of about a year:

-Late July 2115, placed into group with four other members.

-Late August, 2115, first kill, a girl about his age

-December 2115, Kendrick (Huron 01) is ordered to kill Ontario 01, to which he complies out of fear.

-Later in December, Ontario 02 is assigned to the group, a reminder that anyone is replaceable.

-December 2115 to about July 2116, Kendrick, distraught about having to carry out Ontario 01's execution becomes more reserved and West (Superior 01), starts to place him on more solo missions. In a combination of unsupervised warfare, cruelty, bloodlust, guilt over Ontario's death, and what not, becomes the most dangerous man on the Eastern Seaboard. His existence becomes a boogeyman tale, with titles such as "Deerhead" and "the devil with white eyes" become tossed around while describing assassinations, killings, and what not that happen within his domain. West (technically his commanding officer) around this point realized that this would be her fatal flaw, letting Kendrick get too cocky.

-In late July 2116, he is sent on more cooperation missions, and actually talks to Ontario 02, the replacement for Ontario.

HEY THIS IS NOT DONE BTW. I POSTED IT TOO EARLY. IM JUST GONNA WORK ON THE LORE DOC FOR NOW

[pumpkinsy0]

Headconnons about....

Buck, Dally, Darry and Tim (in Buck's bar) Buck is serving them the beers [since he owns the bar] hanging out, playing pool and getting drunk.

THANK YOU 🙏🏻

•first off it started as tim and darry drinking while buck is just making comments here n there tending to the bar

•talking about life, maybe how pony n curly gettin they smooch on 2gether maybe not, point is they r connecting over how fucked up their lives r, poor sad old men

•but then dallys ass alllways has to ruin shit ohhh boy🙄🙄

•tims just like “dude u look like shit” and its bc for the 100th time that weak him and sylvia broke up awwww</3333

•darry thinks dally rlly shouldnt b drinking especially w his track record of how aggressive he gets but its dallas tf he gonna do????listen??????

•quick context but a while ago i said that tim and buck r kinda like business partners cause tim still has family from haiti so yada yada buck has rum imported from haiti and tims like “give us that rn”

•imagine that whole drunk scene from that spongebob movie and thats exactly how they (rlly mostly tim and dally, darrys still a single mom who works 2 jobs who loves her kids n never stops) got drunk, darrys like on the brink of tipsy but not rlly he still needs a few drinks to get there

•at first everything was generally fine, dallys hitting on guys n gals cause whatever, tims actually dancing konpa which is rare to see him do cause hes not much of a dancer, darrys awkwardly in a corner cause he dont do to well in situations like these poor old man </33

•at least once tim went back to the bar for water but then a song started playing and he went “OH FUCK THIS MY SHIT🗣️🗣️”

•BUT OF COURSE somethings always ruined and tim and dally start getting competitive, drinking games, getting them even drunker and playing pool of course

•TOTALLY unrelated but darry and tim were watching each other playing pool and were like “aye he kinda has a nice ass no homo tho”

•now it WAS a battle between tim and dally but darry was secretly joining in a bit and won everything so take that how u will, nobody but him n buck know bout that one

•buck is maybe a BIT tipsy bc he was drinking w them a bit cause theyre all his buddy in some way shape or form, but he can pull himself together just fine after working at a bar for over 6 years he seems pretty sober

•at some point tim and dally start almost getting into it but darry picks them up by the collar of their jackets n just goes “stop” n they do cause darry can b rlly scary when he wants

•eventually its gettin a lil too late and so darry goes home and picks tim up and leaves dally there cause dally already has a room there he’ll b aight

•tims just mumbling random shit in creole and darrys goin “yea its alright man” and maybe took a slice of bread n some water for tim on the ride home

•dally passed out and its not until like 1 am that buck kicks the guy awake n says “cmon man i wanna hit the bed and need to close up” hes groggy but whateva

and that was the end of that🫶🏽🫶🏽

[jadebread64]

time for me to post my bullshit ramblings on the new doctor who episode in no particular order like a maniac lol

(SPOILERS AHOY, DONT CLICK ON THE READMORE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE EPISODE)

obviously seeing tennant and tate back in their roles is so cool, they feel exactly as they should, it doesnt even feel like 15 years have passed when you watch them its great

DONNA CANONICALLY HAS A NONBINARY DAUGHTER AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HER ALSO BEING PART OF THE METACRISIS TIME LORD SHIT IS SUPER COOL

lmao im not even joking when i first saw the meep™ i literally thought "aww it's so cute i hope it doesnt end up being evil" and LO AND BEHOLD

OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT JUST SUDDENLY PUTTING ON A FUCKING JUDGE WIG AND DOING A COURTROOM SCENE WITH THE MEEP AND THE WRARTH WHILE DONNA AND HER CONCERNED FAMILY JUST OBSERVE

also i think the wrarth voices are so funny cause in the trailers they're like *auurhghghg scary monster sounds!!1!* but in the episode they just sound british like every doctor who space alien should

i think the new TARDIS looks really cartoony and i think it's kinda fun, idk if ncuti is gonna end up with this TARDIS set (i'd imagine the bbc doesnt have the budget to make a whole TARDIS set for 4 episodes then just make a new one lol) but i think it looks kinda plain at the moment? idk if they added some chairs and bookshelves n shit like the capaldi one and make it look more lived in overtime it might be one of my favourites just for the whole classic who vibe it has. either way it's perfect for david he gets to run around like a little kid in there and thats all that matters lol

also tennants new suit looks so fucking good and honestly wish he just had that in series 2-4 instead of the brown suit

i think it's so funny how literally not even 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS donna just fucking spills her coffee on the console and the whole thing just explodes and goes to shit immediately lmao

ALSO WE'RE GETTING A FULL ON TENNANT/TATE ADVENTURE NEXT WEEK???? AM I IN 2008 OR 2023 I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE TIME HAS NO MEANING

im really hoping we get to see whoever the fuck neil patrick harris' character is in the next episode, im 99% sure it's gonna be the celestial toymaker but only because the doctor who youtube account kept posting celestial toymaker clips and i think they're being cheeky bastards lol (/positive)

(/sarcasm) i cant wait to see all the queerphobic assholes shitting on this episode for having the few pronouns/binary lines in it and going "dOcTor wHo iS wOkE nOw yUcK" even though doctor who has been progressive since literally 1963 with the daleks (which got a fancy new colourization that i need to check out still but thats a whole OTHER THING LOL)

oh yeah and david's acting is really fucking good in this, like when he thinks wilf has died and he just sorrowfully says "i loved that man." like MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

plus when he thinks he has to sacrifice donna to save everybody, holy shit his perfomance is incredible

this is just a me thing but seeing a doctor who episode live as its broadcasting is so cool, i've been watching this show for like 8 years (i think??) and i usually just ended up finding it on dailymotion or some shit like a day or two after the episode aired so i'd always be late for it lol (btw for the people coming after me i dont pay for disney+ at all lol) so watching it the at the same time as everyone else was very cool especially since i nearly slept in through it lmao

anyways i think thats all if i remember any more things i'll add em in lol

plus some bonus ramblings before the episode aired

[macdennisofficial]

any big predictions for s16

Whole season analysis incoming!!! Big wrinkly brain predictions that WILL happen mark my fucking words below!

First episode: The Gang Does Edibles for the first time. "wait a minute macdennisofficial," you say, "they smoked weed before and also crack and sniff glue??" Exactly. They ain't done edibles before.

So you know Frank is like I did Columbian bam bam with Vietnamese sweatshop kids and Dee and Dennis are like "we were legit crackheads before" and Charlie is like "haha I do inhalants so much I built up a tolerance to mustard gas" and Mac is like I am a drug dealer hello ??? They are all like "we are not pussies when it comes to weed we have taken fat ass bong rips so many times" so they just. Dump. Like a whole gallon of weed in the brownie mix. And then between the five of them eat the whole fucking pan to prove how not pussy they are.

Anyway so two hours later Dee "these edibles ain't shit" Reynolds is screaming hysterically and shitting her pants while clinging to the rooftop and staring at the sky, Frank is furiously fucking a rotisserie chicken while listening to sixties war protest rock and seeing colours and having Rambo First Blood flashbacks, Charlie sees everything like a cartoon and is a Disney prince(ss?) who can control rats and pigeons with his singing voice and also hallucinates a musical with the Gang, Mac literally sees God and speaks to him and fucks him. He just fucks God. Full penetration. And God is gay btw and played by Ryan Reynolds. In real life Mac is actually just like lying on the pool table staring at the ceiling light. With this huge stoner boner. Dennis is like weeping in the bathroom because Rick Astley is playing on the jukebox and it's so fucking beautiful and decides he wants to become an artist because the yuck puddle is so beautiful and he wants to commemorate it and it is talking to him

They all manage to meet at some point and talk to each other and hallucinate Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-esque shit together. Oompa Loompas look like Frank's sweatshop children and they sing "oompa loompa doopity doo what the fuck is wrong with all of you"

Episode two: They are discussing Kanye and how they need to separate the art from the artist because they voted for him but they can't support him now that he says all this anti Semitic stuff lately because they might get cancelled for liking him so they just cut all the pictures of Kanye out of the albums and posters and stuff they own and replace it with pictures of Pepperjack. This is especially important they vocally distance themselves from Kanye because Wolf Cola has used him for promotional ads. So they also have to cut ties with him professionally. It's all very selfish because they're concerned about their image.

Episode three: They make fun of Dee for calling herself a feminist even though she never passes the Bechdel test and they argue about how to pronounce it properly. She says she will pass it by the end of the day and she fails constantly but at the end of the episode she finds the Waitress and they talk about something other than men. She is excited and then Charlie is like; "What's her name? It only counts if you know her name." She doesn't know her name. It is titled Dee Fails the Bechdel Test. It is a Chardee themed episode, but they don't kiss or anything.

Episode four: We see the Gang's exploits from someone else's perspective. It is their fucking stalker. They have a stalker and they dont even know it. I mean this is like Joe from You styled narration and everything. The stalker has like Pepe Sylvia style pics on their wall connecting them to various crimes and shit in Philly and it's all true btw but the stalker gets arrested for stalking and attempting assassination (yeah, like an actual attempt at murder) and the Gang is like; "Who the fuck even are you?" despite this stalker being in their bar every day for like years. It is a fun episode because we see them in many mid-scheme situations with like no context.

Episode five: They try to reboot The Nightman Cometh because the find out they have fans because Artemis posted it online and there is fanfic and meta. The reboot is complete and utter SHIT so the fans hate them now lmfao

Episode six: Someone approaches them to say "hey this bar should be a reality series" and they accept but they all agree they should be less problematic because they don't wanna piss off the producers and then the producers are like "actually Mac you're not gay you're bi because it's Not In to be monosexual anymore also uhm you can joke about being into men but you can only ever on screen be with a woman mmkay but lets queerbair you with Dennis." They like insist he hooks up with Dee lmfao and Mac and Dee are FURIOUS. This is like a total commentary on the way television and movies are produced now where the actual writers have little control and the company micromanages their entire lives all for ad revenue and product placement and tiktok soundbites. Anyway they try to go along with it and film thr Pilot just for the studio to say that it was all meant to be a tax write off so their show gets pulled before even being and blacklisted from Streaming Services despite all the work they did and there are jokes about shitty graphics and crap pay.

Episode seven is kind of a part two of the previous episode because Frank buys out the streaming service and calls it like Wolf Soda Streams. They can post all their shitty movies on it and their reality series and also The Nightman Cometh (the original and reboot). Frank accidentally uploads several sex tapes of him and Artemis instead so it crashes and burns and ends up being more lucrative as a tax write off. The employees of the company he bought out all lost their jobs and end up homeless in the alley with Cricket. They all say; "Those fuckers ruined my life!" and he just stares at them and goes; "First time?"

Episode eight: Dennis starts dating a woman who looks and acts exactly like Mac. And literally everybody sees it EXCEPT Mac and Dennis. She's even Mac's cousin. But Mac and Dennis are idiots. And just don't see it. And everybody is like wtf come on. In the end this woman leaves Dennis because she realizes she's a lesbian.

Episode nine: Finally Mac dates a man and Dennis is motherfucking livid. He assumes it's the envy of being single and being dumped a week prior but we all know the truth. Everyone knows the truth. Except Mac. This boyfriend is also played by Ryan Reynolds and as a callback to the season premiere someone says he has the body of God. Anyway the jealousy and envy is eating Dennis up inside until the episode ends with Dennis screaming like a psychopathic madman in the rain while staring at Mac and Ryan Reynolds through a window holding an axe.

Episode ten: This is shot like a horror movie a la The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre. It's like a typical slasher movie with Dennis as the bad guy and everyone hiding from him and he's going after Ryan Reynolds. It's terrifying and all that. Scary shit like wtf this might be too dark for an Always Sunny episode except they pull it off super well and there is humor and stuff. There are lots of Dennis screaming hilarious shit like I HAVE THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND SPURNED LOVERS SPILLING SEED OVER CIGARETTE BURNED PICTURES OF THEIR EXES! Just when he corners Ryan Reynolds and screams at him "MAC IS MINE" with the ax raised the scene cuts to them all still in the bar fucked up on edibles in the very first episode. They've finally sobered up and make a comment about how the past few hours seemed like weeks or whatever and how they hallucinated some crazy shit and then Dennis walks over to Mac and just fucking kisses him on the mouth, and Mac reciprocates and the rest of the gang make gagging noises and call them slurs. The end

[unopenablebox]

N, R

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

i perpetually have like 6 WIPs floating around that i usually only finish by wedging myself into being assigned that fandom/pairing for a fic exchange, thereby imposing a deadline. taking "ideas" to mean "things i've sketched out but not outlined or written much for", stuff im thinking about includes:

sabriel au where sabriel and lirael meet immediately post- the events of sabriel via a Time Artifact and have fun adventures that actually exist to illustrate the bizarre temporal and cultural contrasts between "growing up in a perky 1910s british boarding school" and "growing up in a glacier where it is 1500 or something and everyone there hates you so you learned all information you currently know entirely from manuscripts + your ghost dog", which i think the books severely underplay in terms of how totally alien lirael should be to like, everyone, but especially everyone from ancelstierre. the punchline of this fic is that lirael thinks four humours theory is real and incontrovertible and also sabriel cannot fucking understand her accent

my own stupid variation on the classic star wars fic premise "darth vader gloms onto leia prior to the events of the original trilogy and elevates her to immense political power, freaking everyone out", in which this comes to pass via, like, palpatine-is-restarting-the-clone-program genetic testing farce that reveals leia is padme's kid. exists mostly for a scene which lives vividly in my mind in which darth vader spends two hours trying and failing to get the Space Illumina Gene Sequencer software to work. he cannot get help because he has already killed the genomics tech in a moment of panic. it keeps giving him a network access error and he cries. i probably won't write this because i think it would require that i first read the extended universe leia novels/comics in order to consciously either incorporate or reject their canon and i simply doing feel like doing that. also as currently sketched out it would be like 40k and i just dont have that kind of time. but it would be fun

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

i'm constantly trying to write diana wynne jones and/or dorothy sayers-style prose/dialogue, it's a failing. in that i fail at it.

i am extremely influenced by certain of the big-name lj-era bnfs in terms of just like, thinking about what a fic is, what constitutes a "unit" of fic, etc, because i feel writing a short fic is almost totally different from an original short story. not least in that most non-fic short stories i read i often end up kind of hating because they're so clearly there to make a Point rather than execute a character moment, and also they suck. (to be clear i only usually read short stories when someone i know has just gotten something into a sci-fi magazine, and i know a lot of people who write about the Issues of AI and the Climate, so that may help contextualize the nature and limitations of my complaints. this is not about, like, raymond carver, who i like but simply do not think about enough to call an influence.) anyway i really like re/sonant and sp/eranza for exemplifying the satisfying short-fic form. just like everybody else who for used to be really into stargate atlantis.

slashmarks/basketofnovas is a real inspiration in the world of "forcibly extrapolating totally unintended worldbuilding that is nonetheless coherent and fun and interesting", something i aspire to, but, not being myself a medieval historian, am pretty handicapped at. but it's fun to try!

there's a lot of other stuff i'm sure but this is what i can currently think of

[obey-me-headquarters]

Aaah, I'm back! I had more ideas I'm sorry!

Lucifer is in need of pampering because of his pride from his shows as we discussed and I had some thoughts on the others! Idk what animals they would be but I did get what I imagine they'd act like! I'm so sorry if this is long, I was very excited.

Mammon used to have an owner who was very kind, but one day they just locked Mammon out of the house with no real reason other than they just didn't want him. He became a stray who would steal and lie to keep himself fed and he was always acting so macho "Well, duh. I'm THE Great Mammon!" But when you take him in he is desperate to have anything and everything because in his old home he lost everything overnight for no reason! Now he's desperate to keep you and everything else he loves close to him! His bad habits are: Separation anxiety, random crying fits, being territorial, acting "arrogant" but only because he is insecure. The solution is constant positive reinforcement and patience

I already talked about lil fish Leviathan but just in case I'll say it again. He was left in a tank with nothing much to do other than watch anime on his old master's TV. Because of his neglect he wasn't pretty enough so all they did was degrade him. You adopt him and he's just a sweet lil boi. His bad habits: Randomly soaking you in water, hiding your keys so you can't leave, one time he got carried away and pulled you into his tank and almost drowned you, he carries a lot of random guilt so he'll talk bad about himself and of you don't stop it he'll hurt himself. Usually by refusing to rehydrate. He gets jealous easy, especially over any colorful decorations you have around the house. On one occasion he saw you eating gold fish crackers and got deeply upset. Like Mammon he needs to be supported emotionally

Satan was also a show pet like Lucifer, but his owners saw how successful Lucifer was and trained him to be just like him. Satan hated every second of it, especially when he would have to compete against him and lose. His owners flipped out and beat him for losing and he ran away. His new owners didn't want him because he was so angry all the time! Bad habits: Talking back (with everything. I.E: "Hey can you pass me that thing to your left?" Only for him to say "Fuck you, get it yourself". He is a lot more prideful than Lucifer but he's more pampered and expecting of top treatment. If not given to him he gets angry because that means he isn't valued anymore. Bad habits include: Tearing furniture apart, yelling, punching holes in the drywall, refusing to eat. Solution: Try and talk it out with him. If it fails just explain that you are going to step out of the room until he calms down. When he is ready to talk he can come find you. He really wants to learn how to read and over time he'll mellow out. He is still trying to cope with the fact that he isn't Lucifer so he doesn't need to impress you or anyone else. (Not that they ever had to, it was just what they were told.)

Asmodeus was used for breeding new pets. After a while they got rid of him because they didn't want inbreeding to happen. When you find him he is very horny and clingy but it's only because that's what he is used to. He isn't used to the actual affection part of it all, and he'll grow upset if you don't do the deed with him. Not just because he needs it physically but also because you rejecting him than that means he is undesirable. He's devastated because he spent most of his life being told how perfect he is and how bad everybody wants him. He actually found someone he finds to be attractive and they dont want him?! Unacceptable! If you actually let him see and keep his kids I am pretty sure he would die for happiness because everytime he would think he found a mate they'd be taken from him as soon as they got pregnant or had his spawn. Actually getting a mate that is permanent?! He's overjoyed. Bad habits: Uncontrollably horny, cries a lot, needy, needs more praise and affirmation than Mammon and Leviathan. Solutions: Toys, let him go most places with you until it clicks that you're keeping him, take a lot of pictures of him and let him know it's because he's pretty and always will be, lots of kisses. His old mates didn't kiss him or hold him like you do :(

Beelzebub and Belphie could be lumped together so I think I will because this is long and I'm embarrassed. Beel was malnourished so now that he's in a household where he has food he doesn't want to stop eating because he's scared he will be starved again. Belphie just sleeps all the time because that's all he had to do. He was locked in a cage (attic) and all he had to do was sleep and hope when he wakes up he will be free. One day he wakes up in a nice bed with you gently asking him if he is okay. He's just..apathetic to it all. He's in denial that you're not trapping him and ignoring him, so much so that he continues to sleep because that way when you leave him he won't cry as you walk out on him and will have the chance to keep what little pride he has intact. The boys bad habits: Beel raiding the fridge, Beel gaining too much weight so you need to exercise with him and keep him healthy (it's great because you're both staying in shape!), Beel eating or biting the furniture, Beel pouting (this may not be a problem for some but my heart would MELT), Beel randomly getting very angry and insistent that you can't leave because it's not safe or him feeling like you're both in danger. Belphie's is just him being lazy or purposefully breaking things and acting out in hopes that you'll yell at him and punish him just because he wants to be proven right. Solutions: Keep Beelzebub fed and make it clear that there will always be food and comfort, snuggle piles with the two of them. (Lets Belphie sleep and know that you won't leave and Beel will be glad that he can protect you while comfortable.) You could also let them leave the house with you in case they get separation anxiety and I feel like any of the brothers would be thrilled to be seen with you. You also have to teach these two proper hygiene because like..who's she? They pick up on it quick but at first they were very dirty

What if all the different owners (or the same one) had them meet each other because they originally were taken in by the same owner? Lillith was a sweet lady who adopted them all but she got old and couldn't take care of them anymore so they were given away to people she thought would care for them. :(

Ohhh fuck this is so good!! Don't apologize!!! I eat your asks up they're SO good!! <3

I definitely think that apart of Mammon thinks that you are lying when you first tell him that you care about him, and that's he's the "Great Mammon". Because a small part of him believes that his last owners were lying to him. I mean, why else would tell him that they love him him only to throw him out?

Oof. Mammon probably hanged out his old home for an extremely long time. Not believing that they his owners really wanted him gone. They're just, they're cleaning the house and they want him outside for the time being. Or, they want some alone time is all. They still love and care about him! They just need some space. Even when they yell at him for being on their backyard, or chase him away with brooms he still comes back. Mammon is very good at lying to himself. It isn't until he spontaneously decides to run away, that he doesn't need his owners, does he leave their property.

Of course, after a while days he regrets his decision and tries to go back. But he can't remember the way back, and it's hard to keep searching when you're hungry. So that's how he ended up a stray for awhile.

It takes awhile, but eventually he finds his way back. In his time away he created this image in his mind that his owners really, really miss him. That once he comes back home all will be forgiven and he will be let back inside and will be cuddled and given things again! Only to arrive back and peak through the window to see that his owners replaced him with a new pet.

Another that Mammon leaves, for good this time. It's very hard for him to process what he did wrong, what happened. So again he kinda creates this narrative that he was a beloved house pet, who one day got outside and accidentally got lost. He blocks out his last memory of his owners replacing him, and still believes that one day he'll return to a loving home.

So when you find him, it actually takes a bit for him to warm up to you. Saying that he has a family, really! He just got lost and is looking for them. Oh, there's no need to put an ad up for him! He'll find his old home again, he's sure of it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that his lying about his home, or that he made the whole thing up.

Once he does get attached to you I can definitely seeing him having pretty bad separation anxiety like you said! Boy probably never leaves the house when you adopt him, worried that he'll "get lost" again.

I really like this Mammon pet headcanon!! I always had my own little headcanon for him that I'll briefly share here:

I always pictured Mammon as being apart of a circus. He just gives off major performer vibes. Plus I think that's were he got his arrogance from, since he was always known as "The Great Mammon". And it also explains him being touch starved. Noone really looked after him in the circus, so he's not used to someone petting his hair or cuddling up to him. After the circus went under, maybe the boss was in some shady shit, Mammon either gets put into a shelter, or directly given given you, or maybe even just thrown onto the streets.

Again I really like your Levi headcanons, which I gushed about in my last post lol.

Satan is definitely interesting too!! Most people put him down as a fighting ring demon, so seeing him as a show demon like Lucifer is very interesting! I definitely think he's one of the more complicated demons to rehome. As he has this sense of pride and privilege about him. Most demons don't really expect the best, and so lap up any pride or treats. While Satan expects good treatment and gets destructive when he doesn't get it.

Asmo's headcanon is so sad 🥺 I like the way you change up the formula with each of the demons. A lot of them has been type casted as a spefic demon type, so seeing all these new headcanons is very interesting! I definitely like the idea of Asmo being used as a breeder, and kinda expects you to do the do with him immediately.

Uhhhh Asmo's whole section just makes me want to hold and kiss him. Asmo definitely thinks that you're going to abandon him if you don't sleep with him soon so he just gets more and more desperate until he finally breaks down and you have to explain to him, once again, that you care about him you just don't want to use him like that. Also, you being the only person Asmo wants to look pretty for?? Ahhhh my heart.

Asmo definitely went through a lot of mates that last either one night or a few weeks until they got knocked up. So having someone who loves him and wants to stick around? Literally unheard of for Asmo.

Also adopting his kids too! That's so cute!! I'm not really into tbe whole "raising children" stuff so while it's cute in theory, i don't think I would write much about it lol sorry.

Moving onto Beel and Belphie. Beel being malnourished is such a good concept! He definitely gets very food conscious. Maybe in his last home the owner had a lot of demons and not a lot of money, so they didn't have a lot of food to go around. Every time it was feeding time Beel would have to fight the other demons for food for him and Belphie, which is why he got so strong.

Even though Beel is in a safe environment with lots of food, he still has trouble getting his instincts to calm down and stop telling him that needs to eat everything right away or ease it'll disappear.

I can definitely see him gaining his worry that him, and everyone he cares about, is constantly in danger because of his old home. As the demons there were frequently angry and hungry, so they lashed out. Beel hasn't shaken the fear that some demon is going to attack him or you if he's not careful.

Him and Belphie also don't know proper hygiene because of their old home, since the owner didn't have a lot of money they couldn't afford to give any of their demons baths or showers, and so they would only really get wash if they went do to the river or if they went out in the rain.

Now about Belphie.... omg my poor little moo moo :( he doesn't want to be abandoned again so he's just closing himself off from you and the world. He's just waiting for the drop, for the "I told you so" when you get angry and punish him and kick him out. Tries not to care when you treat him gently or spoil him. Although I definitely think he favors things you personally gift him. Such as his cow pillow. Though he would never admit it. He also really enjoys cuddle piles.

!!! I love the idea of all the owners meeting!! I definitely always considered that option when thinking of the pet au. Because if all of the bros aren't owned by the same owner, wouldn't it be fun if the bros could still meet? But I always had a hard time writing stuff out for it because all the good owners are supposed to be "You" lol. I absolutely adore the Lillith idea, as I'm never quite sure what to do with her in pet aus lol. Maybe she died when the bros were all young and together??? But I was never sure.

Lilith owning all of then when they were young is so cute! It also explains why all the bros look up to her so much, as she was the first human who loved and took care of them <3. It would be sweet if Lilith was still alive when the bros meet back up, very old, but still alive, and able to see how each of her pups ended up with good owners after all <3

Anyways, that was an amazing read!! Thanks so much for sharing it! If you ever want to talk more about the pet au or other aus, just send me a ask or reblog! I love your ideas and I absolutely adore talking about the pet au!!

[meikostan]

OK finally watching oshi no ko anime, it turns out all i needed was to go outside for like an hour and im normal again

my thoughts under the cut (writing as i watch) (long) (lots of thoughts) (beautiful and true?) (manga reader) (don't read if anime only) (spoilers) (seriously) (i talk alot) (lots of thoughts)

at this point i've reread oshi no ko enough times that even if i didnt already know japanese i could probably make it without the subs SDJLF but its so cool to see lines and panels that im so familiar with brought to life!! i also liked goro's death scene, especially the way they used static and cut between shots. i keep on pulling out my physical copies of onk (well mostly vol 1) and pointing at my screen and the corresponding part of the book like

2. AIIIII little known fact about me is that ai is genuinely my favorite character... WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE SHE DIES IN THE FIRST VOLUME. seriously we only ever get to see her after this when a. her name or demeanor is invoked by another character b. aqua has his numerous mental breakdowns or c. flashbacks (including but not limited to aqua's mental breakdowns). i am always down for ai content!!!

3. its so much easier to ignore the weird vaguely sexual stuff from their babyhood because i know the rest of the series is normal and cool and not into that sort of stuff👍

4. speaking of normal yayayay it's aqua back when he was actually normal and not "normal" :D like he is just a baby. do you think now that oshi no ko is popular people will get into internet arguments about whether you can ethically have aqua as your favorite character post-normalification. actually wait this may already have been happening in the dark depths of some discord server out there.. but i dont use discord so im blissfully unaware

5. OH i dont think ive seen all of the OG b komachi before? or at least not in high detail. epic!

6. infant ruby telling people on the internet "kys" before age 2... truly a model twitter user

7. not gonna lie i havent really ever liked the way babies are drawn here (including manga)... idk their heads just look way too big like adult heads drawn on toddler bodies then ""cutified"". but this is a personal gripe

8. do you think because of infantile amnesia the twins forgot about the whole pretending to be amaterasu moment. do you think miyako still remembers. can you imagine being the foster mother of two kids who you believe to be gods sent to earth. do you think she remembers that she was "charged by the gods with keeping ai's secret" and then aqua. you know.

9. imagine: you married the ceo of a mid production company because you want to date hot men. there are no hot men in sight. you have to watch over one of the idol's twin infant babies. they reveal to you that they are divine messengers of god and also they can speak normally. there are no hot men in sight. you tend to their every need because you don't want divine retribution. you explain the intricacies of the idol industry in detail every couple of days when they complain about the injustices of the world. there are no hot men in sight. you become their foster mom after they witness the traumatic death of their mother, whose secrets you where charged with keeping safe. at least 12 years pass. they never mention any of this again. you manage the idol group one of them is in. there are still no hot men in sight. your name is miyako. every day you wake up.

10. i like how gotanda gives his business card to a toddler. whats he gonna do, call you on his fisher price dial phone? well actually nevermind aqua is probably the only other toddler (alongside ruby) who could make use of a business card

11. KANAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO but also nothing will ever top 'lick a lying snitch/flick a crying switch'...... nothing ever... :( also taking the opportunity now to say ive always found it hilarious she assumed 'aqua' is his stage name and not his actual legal name, that's how ridiculous it is DSKLFJ

12. sobbing at the ruby ai dance... dont even have that many words i just really like it.. do you guys think ai was thinking about her own mom [& abuse/lack of relationship thereof]? not even just in this scene but in her more serious moments when she's thinking about her kids it's like "i want to make millions so they can go to the nicest schools and have the nicest things" "i want my daughter to dance freely and happily and i will support her in this" which ig can also be excused as 'thats just what a normal parent wants' but idk i like taking into consideration her own past and lack of parental support when looking at the way she tries to raise her children (not that she exactly got a chance to, even while still alive)

13. also i realized at this point that ep 1 is like an hour long not just because of the whole 'we gotta make sure no one drops this before the reveal that shows what this story's actually gonna be about', but also because it would be kinda awkward to have cut any of these scenes out? or not like out completely but like from each other. like if we had ended ep 1 at for example where they do their silly baby dance and go twitter viral (chapter 5 aka the midpoint of vol 1). that wouldve been terrible. but we can't cut it any earlier, or any later. ai's death feels like the natural conclusion to this problem. also i can't really see much of the other sections being stretched out to fit a full episode length being done very well. having ep 1 be a full 90 minutes lets them be as long as they need to be, aka a 1:1 adaptation of the manga.

14. oh boy chapter 9 time

15. i don't have anything to say about ai's outlook that has not already been said but this is the scene that made her my favorite character. not being able to tell at what point your lies become reality.. not really knowing if you've ever loved or been loved truly because your entire concept of 'love' was based off insincerity necessary for survival.. and now not ever being given the chance to explore what 'real love' means to you. FUCK

16. aww i love all these little family moments they added! very cute ^_^

17. yayy go kids get traumatized ^_^ also for some reason i remember the stalker as having really light hair o-0 fascinating. i remembered his name though!! just like ai fr

18. speaking of hair i also did not realize saitou was blond i thought he had brown hair..

19. hey the bandana (? i forget the word) guy holding the ai fan sign during the news montage is from one of the intros to the vol 1 chapters where hes like 'oh yeah i wonder where those dancing babies are now'!

20. another part of that montage shows a house with a wii in it, which came out november 19 2006. characters are shown using twitter which started earlier that same year; it was a pretty popular website even in 2008, but the mobile app only became a thing in like 2010. i'm seeing a mix of flip phones and smart phones so this has gotta take place sometime around 2010. it's kinda difficult to tell exactly what age the twins are in the main story because like the first page of vol 2 has ruby listing her age as 14, but - and the proof is not at my finger tips rn - i swear to god they're like 16 at this point. i have legitimate reasons to believe this but i need to grab exact proof adding to that we also have 15 years of lies, which if im remembering right would be referring to the twins age? i was trying to logic out exactly what year oshi no ko takes place in even though i already know the answer is 'in the modern day' but anyway yeah i'll just finish my episode and move on

21. THE IPHONE RUBY IS HOLDNIG HAS A HEADPHONE JACK. i want so badly to say that's an iphone 4 but there's like a separation between that and the power button. i also dont have an iphone 4 with me so i cant check it irl :( but anyway the iphone 4 was released in 2010, meaning the evidence is piling up for this part of the story taking place some time around 2010. or maybe i'm looking too deeply into this and should go back to actually watching the episode.

22. this is reminding me i was gonna write a fic specifically about this time period where the twins go to therapy and have to adjust to life without ai, having miyako graduate from fake mom to actual mom, aqua faking being fully recovered from the incident so he'd be released from therapy (fic concept was inspired from him stating this in like vol 6), etc. i never did because i spent like 3 hours researching play therapy and never got anywhere with it.. but maybe...

23. THE KIDS HAVING TO WATCH HER FUNERAL THROUGH THE FUCKING CAR WINDOW... I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

24. YESS AQUA NORMALIFICATION COMPLETE

25. AM I INSANE OR IS THAT AKANE? HER HAIR COLOR IS THE SAME BUT IT'S SO SHORT

26. MEM!!!!

27. AHHH POST CREDITS AI MAKING HER VIDEO FOR THE TWINS "i don't think i'll still be an idol by then" YEAH BUT AT WHAT COST 😭

FINAL THOUGHTS: i liked it alot ^_^ i dont really watch that much anime anymore (not that i watched an incredible amount before, but i am familiar with it) but i really liked this. i think they did a very good job of adapting the first volume! i know the rest of the episodes will be not-film length which does make me a bit sad because i think it would work out well, or at least not badly, if they were. it does also make me really excited for the future, seriously i will actually explode when i see the theater arc in full. cannot wait to see aqua mental breakdowns and ruby evil arc and and and and

the only thing i would've liked is if they could somehow have found a way to incorporate the pre-chapter intro scenes from the manga where they're talking about 15 years of lies, interviews with their pre-school teacher, etc. though both the pre-school teacher and the aforementioned bandana guy appear which may have been their way of doing it? like adding a fun detail for obsessives like myself to point at like 'my god it's those guys from exactly 2 panels in the manga'

tumblr ate my post and erased everything up to #2 while i was writing it and i was about to flip but it turns out that it automatically saves posts while youre writing them now and it was in my drafts safe and sound soooo crisis averted ^_^ anyway those were my thoughts on ep 1

[musashi]

im here to essentially second the "its mostly projection" anon re why people are Like This to you.

most people on this website just really fucking hate themselves. You're the only person ive seen on this website afair that doesnt. i think a lot of these people see "oh autistic mentally ill queer person! we must be the same!" and then treat you the way they desperately wish someone would treat them, or the way they treat their friends, who may prefer things that way.

i think the assumption that everyone on tumblr hates themselves really hits whenever you talk about how people perceive you especially. a lot pf people on tumblr would see someone saying "people dont really find me attractive" and interpret it as "/I/ dont find me attractive and my ridiculously low self esteem means i assume all people feel the same way.

i also rather doubt that any of these people actually read your carrd unfortunately. they see what they perceive as someone in distress and in need of comfort and rush right in to "reassure" you. carrds are also one of the hip things to make fun of right now, the assumption may be made that its mostly unimportant stuff about like fandom bullshit.

I think also the fact that you are in fandom makes people think you're like a teenager. a loooot of people, especially actual teens, see fandom as something for "young people" and surely a tax paying adult wouldnt be writing fanfic? a lot of antis will tell older adults who dont buy into their bullshit to "go do your taxes" or "shouldnt you be taking care of your kids" and shit like that

finally, talking about like otherkin stuff, or really just being otherkin is seen as juvenile as well, especially by non kinfolk. i think a lot of people see it as sort of an extension of "playing pretend", rather than the legitimate spiritual belief that it can be

so yeah essentially people are projecting and or see that you do a lot of things they feel are childish or whatever and thats why theyre like that. i dont think theres much you can really do about that unfortunately, short of maybe changing the ask box prompt to like "i am an adult who pays taxes" or something

one small thing that might possibly help is changing your icon? it's ridiculous that people think this way, but from what i can tell, a lot of people see "cartoon character on a pride flag" as a juvenile trait, something only teens really do. whether they know your actual age or not, they could subconsciously assume you are a child essentially.

this is all so valuable information thank you for sending it holy shit.

to be honest. i forgot. that people in the current climate view ANY of these things as immature. i am so steeped in my own reality full of adults who collect toys and write fanfiction that i wholly forgot that there are swaths of the world who view those as hobbies for teenagers and kids. like that thought did not even occur to me. every single adult or friend i have in my life is in fandom in some way fsdgsfd

i really am sympathetic to people with low self esteem who need support but i just wish they wouldn't project onto me. i have my doubts and problems sure but they are not something i listen to, and when they are fixable i simply fix them. i wish people would understand that my peace in life comes from a conscious effort and dedication to loving myself and being happy. there is no secret caveat, there is nothing deeper than that. once upon a time i was miserable. it sucked. so i took the steps to change it, and i will do that forever, as things shift and change. end of statement.

you're right, there's really nothing to be done about this. prompting my ask box is a good idea though, that might get some people to stop. i can't change my icon cause i match with jessica :3 and honestly as much as i'd love folks to leave me alone, pride flag icons are too cute to pass up.

thanks again this is all good food for thought

[for the love of god someone please tell me why everyone treats me like an uwu soft baby who needs protecting/support]

[okthatsgreat]

HELLO I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT UR DR OCS (NOT JUST FROM 50TH but from other games too...). Do you have any AUs or fun alternative ideas!!! Like roleswaps, personalities, etc, things like that! I love hearing about them !!! :0

HBGDFHSGB OMG ........ UR SO AWESOME

ok so the thing about my ocs is that i just drop them in any scenario ever so i truly am unable to verbalise any of these aus in detail lmfaoooooooooo. however i DO keep going back to a lgowab au with the 50th season ocs just bc keep thinking about how they would react. bc let me tell you they would fucking REACT. they only JUST left the simulator and now they gotta do this shit FOR REAL? literally half of their class would be dead within days mostly out of dumb luck but also theyre easy enough targets without being considered "kids" (considering 53 is the newest season, theyve been given a few years outside of the simulator already). and with all of the guns flying around wooowwwww ryobe and naomi would actually go crazy

there are LOTS of "what if" aus i have in mind for erin/billie just because those two are the characters i played in rps lmfao!!!! erin managed to survive and billie was the first death, so theres lots to be done regarding scenarios where that Doesn't Happen. ESPECIALLY erin, who basically got saved last minute from being the blackened despite her making literally the biggest mistake of her entire life and killing a man lol. and billie surviving .......... a lot of her character was just the tragedy of her not getting to grow up so giving her the ability to Grow Up is very sweet. honestly there are so many what if scenarios for all of these characters just because theyre danganronpa ocs hfdjgsfsjgk like the what if scenario of naomi getting caught in that final chapter. like that would have changed the public's perceptive of season 50 entirely. soooo many postgame relationships would be different and significantly less strained. and with the public not being super enthused by the ending of the 50th season the participants might have had time to actually chill out a bit lmfaoo.

swap aus are so so much fun but i dont have many in mind!!!! BUT I LOVE THEM! i think it's really fun when you keep their personalities but give them other talents teehee. i think legit the only talent swap that i have ever thought of before was one my friend roman briefly did with the characters in the rp we were in, and erin got swapped with the ultimate palaeontologist lol. she'd be SO into giving tours to elementary classes in museums. not a second would pass without her dropping a dinosaur fact on you. the fantastic thing about erin is that being a children's entertainer practically defines her at first (because her entire life and persona is dedicated to being pippy) so removing that aspect of her and giving her another ultimate talent is soooo funny because its like. The Whimsy. It's Gone and she's Normal

a season 50 swap would be so funny as well mostly because i can not imagine naomis scared ass being anything but a runner however i think it would be kinda fucked up if she was the ultimate lucky student considering what she got away with 🤔 rie is similar to erin in the way her entire life is dedicated to her talent and the pursuit of perfection and being this beautiful pageant queen so she would need a talent that allows her that level of dedication i reckon. maybe shes the ultimate content creator and becomes this beauty vlogger who does millions and millions of brand deals!!!! idk LOTS TO THINK ABOUT!!!!