#even after 10 years i know the lyrics as if it were my last will

[popcat69]

Incorrect Tmnt quotes

Mikey: What does 'take out' mean? Donnie: Food. Leo: Dating Raph: Murder Y/n: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Donnie: Favourite horror movie?

Mikey: It

Raph: Saw

Leo: Annabelle

Y/n: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Leo: Croissants: dropped

Raph: Road: works ahead

Y/n: BBQ sauce: on my titties

April: Shavacado: fre

Mikey: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Donnie:

Donnie: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Y/n: Change is inedible.

Donnie: Don't you mean inevitable?

Y/n, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Mikey: Hey Donnie,

Donnie: Yes?

Mikey: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Donnie:

Donnie: Where’s Y/n?

Donnie: April isn’t answering their phone

Y/n: I’ll call

Donnie: Casey and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

April: Hello?

Y/n: Top 30 reasons why y/n is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Raph: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Mikey: I'm incredibly fast at maths.

Y/n: Alright, what's 30x17?

Mikey: 47

Y/n: That's not even close.

Mikey: But it was fast.

Donnie: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Raph: Nope, absolutely not.

Leo: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Mikey: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Casey: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Y/n: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Splinter: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Leo: ...I did. I broke it.

Splinter: No. No you didn't. Mikey?

Mikey: Don't look at me. Look at Y/n.

Y/n: What?! I didn't break it.

Mikey: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Y/n: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mikey: Suspicious.

Y/n: No, it's not!

Raph: If it matters, probably not, but April was the last one to use it.

April: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Raph: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

April: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Raph!

Leo: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, person A.

Splinter: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Raph: Splinter... Donnie’s been awfully quiet.

Donnie: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Splinter, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Splinter: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Splinter:

Splinter: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Donnie: I can help you with it!

April: Yeah, sure.

Y/n: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Raph: lol nope.

Mikey: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Leo: *Read 5:55pm*

Leo: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Leo, driving y/n and April: So how was your day?

Y/n: We almost got surprise adopted!

Leo: What?

April: We almost got kidnapped.

Leo: Oh, okay.

Leo: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Four: Until I had met you there was no sun in my sky

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 3.5k

Chapter Warnings: Mature, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, confusion, and self doubt. Two idiots falling and pining for each other, but there's a little bit of progress. Tommy is the hero in this chapter. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad. Emily is modeled after my sister and JB is based on my dad, who used to try setting me up with his younger work buddies when I was in my 20s :)

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Thank you for reading this little tale! I did not expect all the love - my heart is fit to burst over all the wonderful comments and reblogs!

Chapter Three | Main Masterlist

Sleep evaded Joel Saturday night, his mind unable to shut down and rest. He spent half the night searching for words to fit what he was experiencing. The right one didn’t occur to him until nearly five o’clock in the morning.

Turmoil.

That was the perfect word to describe the utter confusion and uncertainty boiling inside him.

His date went about as well as could be expected when one wasn’t particularly interested in the other person. There was conversation, but it mostly revolved around Annica and her interests. She asked a few polite questions about Joel but didn’t seem too interested in his responses. To be fair, they were short and rather ineloquent, but he barely had the chance to talk about Sarah before the woman changed the subject. She was also very much not his type.

She wasn’t you.

That’s the part which caused the most turmoil.

Joel didn’t realize how quickly he was falling for you until he was on a date with someone else. It somehow felt like a betrayal toward you, even though you and Joel weren’t together. Even though you didn’t even know that he liked you, more than liked you.

This entire thing was eating him up inside, all your interactions since Friday, but especially the way you bolted from him last night. He didn’t understand what happened until he checked out his face in the mirror, your parting comment finally making sense.

Annica had kissed him goodnight when he dropped her off. He knew she wanted more, at least a real kiss, but he offered nothing other than a loose hug and brief thanks for joining him. So, she pressed her painted lips to his cheek for several moments too long, subtly trying to turn his face toward hers, before he finally stepped back and walked away. He didn’t even wait for her to get into her house safely.

To his dismay, she left a clear and distinct reminder of her on his cheek that he was not aware of until you mentioned it. His face burned with the feeling of being marked like territory, and the worst part was you saw it. Who the fuck knew what you thought of him now.

Joel needed advice, someone to talk this all through with. If the situation didn’t involve you, he would have gone to you for advice. You were so easy to talk to and he opened up more easily with you than he had with anyone else in his entire life. But that was out of the question for… obvious reasons.

Your dad was equally as easy to talk to, a quality you must have inherited from him. But he couldn’t turn to JB about this for the same obvious reasons.

That left his brother. Tommy would give Joel a good ribbing about all this. Joel wasn’t ashamed to admit that his brother had more practical experience with dating and complicated relationships, especially recently, than he did. It was time to capitalize on all of Tommy’s shenanigans.

Dangerously under-caffeinated and bleary-eyed, Joel made bacon, eggs, and pancakes for the usual Sunday morning family breakfast. Tommy joined them a little after nine o’clock and helped himself to the spread. He knew better than to ask Joel about his date in front of Sarah, so the younger brother made quiet conversation with Sarah as Joel sipped at his coffee. She told him all about her adventure to the movies with you and how much she loved hanging out with you, how smart you were, and how pretty.

A stupid grin spread over Joel’s face as his daughter spoke about you. He could feel Tommy’s narrowed gaze burning into the side of his head, which he ignored until Sarah finished her food and ran off to play a video game in the living room.

“You gonna make me ask?” Tommy grinned at Joel as he cleared the table. Joel merely quirked a brow and focused on washing the dishes. “Fine, ya ol’ grumpy ass. How was the date?”

“Was alright. She talked, a lot,” Joel emphasized, “and mostly about herself. We don’t have much in common other than we like to eat. The movie she picked to see was God awful. I��d rather have seen the other movie with Sarah.”

“Really?” Tommy placed the last of the dirty flatware next to the sink, watching as Joel scrubbed each item before rinsing it off. “Annica texted me that she had a wonderful time and hoped there’d be a second date. Asked if I could put in a good word for her. Guess that’s not happenin’.”

“There’d be no point. She’s not who I’m interested in.” The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying, and he cringed when Tommy latched right on them.

“Ohhhh, and who might you be interested in, dear brother?” The shit-eating grin on the younger brother’s face let Joel know that Tommy already had an idea on who piqued his interest. “Couldn’t be JB’s hot little daughter, could it? You going cradle robbin’ now?”

Punching his brother in the arm, hard, Joel growled. “I ain’t robbin’ any cradles, asshole. She’s only about nine years younger than me.”

“Oh, is that all?” Tommy teased, rubbing his arm to soothe the sting.

“Don’t get me started on how you almost got busted for statutory rape last year, dickhead.”

“Hey now, I’m just teasing. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.” Tommy surrendered, adding a grumbled, “And you know damn well that wasn’t on purpose. That girl looked 25! She sure had me fooled.”

Joel nodded, heading out to the back patio with another cup of coffee. Tommy followed, stopping briefly to grab a can of soda from the fridge. The pair sat quietly listening to the sound of songbirds singing the songs of their people before Joel finally spoke.

“I feel like an idiot asking this, but how do you tell if a woman is into you?”

Tommy nearly spilled soda all down the front of himself, the question caught him so off-guard. “Whadda ya mean?” he spluttered, trying not to choke on the carbonated liquid.

Rolling his big brown eyes with a huff, Joel glared at his brother. “I mean just what I said. I’m so outta practice with this. I keep second guessin’ everything. I just don’t know…”

Taking pity on his older brother, Tommy refrained from razzing him further. He was intrigued by this version of his brother who lacked self-confidence, so different from the over-confident man Joel used to be, at least when it came to women.

“Just so I understand, do you want to know how to tell if any woman is into you or a specific woman?”

Brows pulling together, Joel stared at Tommy blankly for a moment. “Does it make a difference?”

Tommy’s lips spread into a wide grin, deep brown eyes sparkling mischievously. “It sure as hell does, brother. There are few key ways to tell with most women, but if it’s a specific woman you’re curious about, I may have some intel.”

The struggle to hide his overwhelming curiosity on the ‘intel’ his brother had was a losing game, and Joel relented, his cheeks growing hot as he uttered the words. “Fine. It’s JB’s daughter.”

The room stilled as the brothers stared at each other, the grin on Tommy’s face growing impossibly wider until nearly all his pearly whites were on display. “I knew it! You dirty dog.”

“Tommy,” Joel growled, drawing out the two syllables until his brother sat back in his chair with a satisfied smirk.

“Fine, no razzin’.” Tommy grumbled. He waited a few beats until Joel grew even more uncomfortable. “She’s into you, too.”

Joel perked up at that. “That’s your intel? How do you know?”

Looking around the backyard, Tommy thought of all the times he’d been around and caught you ogling his brother when you thought no one was watching, but none rivaled that time in the kitchen when you stared as Joel pulled his tee shirt off to put in on right side out. Tallying it all up in his mind, Tommy was certain that you had a thing for his brother. And now, it seemed he had a thing for you, too.

The question Tommy had now was, would either of you do anything about it?

With recent history as proof, he had his doubts.

Perhaps it was time to give you each a little nudge.

“It’s in the way she looks at you, all wide-eyed with wonder, like she’s imagining what it’d be like to be with you. I flirted with her for nearly an hour one day and she never looked at me like that once.” Tommy smirked at the glassy look that overcame his brother’s eyes. “Well, that and the drool dripping down her chin every time she sees you.”

“Yeah… wait, what?” It took a moment for Joel to catch on. “Fuckin’ asshole, I swear. She doesn’t drool when she looks at me.”

Laughter rumbled from deep within Tommy’s chest. “She might as well do with as into you as she is. I’m telling you, pay attention to how she is around you and you’ll see.”

The brothers fell silent again with Joel’s thoughts drowning in you. If what Tommy said was true, then you must be hurting over the fact that he went on a date with someone else, more so since you also saw him on that date. Already feeling like such a dick, worry over you weighed more heavily on him this morning. He had to fix this, but how?

Part of Joel wanted to rush over to JB’s and check on you, but the other part was terrified of how that would work out, especially if your dad was home and wanted to know why his best friend was frantic to see his daughter.

Shit. JB. Joel still needed to figure out how to navigate that part of this entire situation. The two of you could like each other all day long, but how would JB react?

Joel envisioned several scenarios that ended with him getting his nose bashed in by your old man. He wasn’t looking forward to that.

“What about JB?” Joel finally broke the silence, looking once again to his younger brother for guidance. “If I’m gonna do this, I want to do it right.”

Placing his empty bottle on the patio table between them, Tommy nodded. “Ok. Let’s think about this. Do you always check with a chick’s dad before askin’ her out?”

“’Course not, but this is different.”

“I get that but hear me out. What if you try before you buy?” Tommy asked.

Joel immediately stiffened. “I’m not gonna just fuck her before asking her on a date. Jesus, Tommy.” Not that he didn’t want to fuck you… he most certainly did, but Joel wanted to do this right. He wanted more than just sex. He wanted something meaningful, and he suspected you would as well.

“That’s not what I meant, asshole. Ya can quit clutchin’ your pearls like you ain’t banged a chick before the first date before.”

“Tommy,” Joel growled again. Little brothers were the worst no matter what age they were.

“Jeez, alright, fine. You’re really into her, I get it. I’m not sayin’ sleep with her first. I’m suggestin’ you ask her out and see where this is goin’ before you go to JB with your tail between your legs, is all.” Tommy explained, already getting fed up with how easily Joel got his feathers ruffled.

Considering the advice, and ignoring his brother’s snippy tone, Joel bobbed his head in a nod. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

“I’m full of good ideas, sometimes. I got another one, actually. Get your grumpy ass to the store and buy some new shirts. Everything you own is at least ten years old and worn down. You need to dress better if you’re gonna date a younger woman.”

Another point to Tommy. He sure was racking them up.

“Fine. I fuckin’ hate to admit it, but you’re right,” Joel grumbled, looking down at the tee shirt he was wearing. It used to be black and faded to a cloudy gray from years of wearing and washing. “You mind watchin’ Sarah for a while so I can run to the mall?”

“Not at all, brother. I was hoping to watch the game on your flat screen anyway.” Tommy led the way back inside the house.

Emily: Sounds like you need some retail therapy, asap.

The pair of you spent the past hour texting about Joel’s date the night before. Emily’s emoji reactions were priceless as you recounted seeing them together at the movie theater and she was pissed on your behalf when you told her about the lipstick mark on his cheek. The conversation came full circle before Emily suggested the retail therapy.

You: Omg do I ever. Mall?

Emily: I can’t ☹ Ed wants my help with the garden. Again. I swear, I hate this fucking garden.

You: Booo. How dare you pick your husband over me

Emily: I gotta go with the one who has the bigger dick. Ur girl has needs u know that 😉

You: Yeah yeah. Chat later?

Emily: You bet. Have fun. Buy lots!

An hour later, you walked through Barton Creek Square, window shopping with a chocolate smoothie clutched in your hand. Not sure exactly what you were in the mood for, you started with clothing. This mall was a bit upscale for your budget, but you always enjoyed perusing the department store discount racks. Tossing your empty cup into the garbage can, you entered the large store.

Somehow, you found yourself searching through flannel shirts in the men’s department. Stopping for a moment once you realized what you were doing, you sighed. There was no escaping thoughts of Joel Miller, even subconsciously, it seemed. Huffing in frustration, you turned to walk back to the women’s section where you’d find things you actually needed when you heard your name.

Joel stood on the other side of the rack, eyes wide with surprise at the sight of you. His cheek was clean, no lipstick mark in sight, you noted. Just the normal, totally endearing patchy scruff. “Hey darlin’, what are you doing here?”

“Shopping,” you stated the obvious with a shrug, delighted at the pink tinge creeping up his cheeks.

“Me, too. Obviously.” Joel nodded, rolling his eyes – at you or himself, you weren’t sure. “I could use your help, actually.”

You weren’t expecting that. He looked at you with such open hope in his eyes, you couldn’t deny him. “Ok, shoot.” Your heart nearly exploded at the smile that spread across his face, putting his dimple on full display.

“I can’t decide which of these to go with,” Joel replied, holding up several flannels. After a moment, he put those across the top of the discount rack and held up a pile of tee shirts. “Or these.”

Eyes taking in the details of each selection – he had good taste; you could picture each option on him – you hummed. “Have you tried any of them on?” Joel shook his head, the mop of curls swaying deliciously with the movement. “Ok. Go try them on. That’s usually how I decide.”

Turning toward the fitting room with a nod, Joel paused and turned back around. “Come with me? I need your honest opinion on each one.”

Brow furrowed, you followed behind him wordlessly, eyes straying to his backside of their own accord. He wore the same dark, fitted jeans as last night and you swore beneath your breath at yet another reminder of his date. No amount of staring at his nice ass could pull that jealous feeling from your gut. He went on a date with someone and for all you knew, it could have been the best damn date of his entire damn life.

Leaning back against the wall opposite the fitting room Joel chose, you crossed your arms in front of your chest and wondered what the hell you were doing. You came to the mall for a distraction, to treat yourself and get your mind off the man on the other side of the fitting room door. Now you were… what? His wardrobe consultant?

Helping Joel pick out new clothes seemed like the job of a girlfriend, not his daughter’s babysitter. Let’s face it, you thought, that’s all you were to him. Mood growing sourer by the second, you startled as the door ripped open in front of you.

“What do you think?”

The universe was a fickle bitch. It wasn’t fair that Joel stood there looking like the man of your dreams and you didn’t get to call him yours.

The first shirt Joel tried on fit like a glove, like the factory made it with his frame as the model in mind. The material had just the right amount of stretch across the breadth of his chest and shoulders, while hanging on for dear life around his biceps.

After ogling him for far too long, your eyes finally met Joel’s. “Looks good,” you said, the cadence of your voice not giving away the riotous flutter of desire flaring to life deep in your lower belly. “Let’s see the next one.”

Chocolate eyes sparkled with delight at your response as Joel slipped back into the fitting room. What you wouldn’t give to follow him in there. Already picturing it in your mind, you would slip to your knees in front of him, fingers undoing his belt and the button of his jeans before slowly sliding the zipper down. You’d wind one hand inside his pants to trace the curve of his cock through his boxer briefs before slipping the length of him out of the little secret pocket. Joel would be trying on his shirts as your lips—

“How about this one?”

“Jesus fucking nutcracker!” you exclaimed, Joel’s voice jolting you right out of that wonderful little daydream. So deep into the fantasy, you hadn’t heard the fitting room door open.

Concerned, Joel reached out a hand, his calloused fingertips and palm running over the bare skin of your forearm as you steadied yourself. “Do, uh… do you have Tourette’s or something?”

Bemused, you blinked up at him, head thumping back against the wall. “What? No, no. I was just lost in thought, and you startled me.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with having Tourette’s, you know.” Joel tripped over himself to make sure you didn’t think he was making fun of the disorder.

You waved him off. “Of course not.” Clearing your throat, eyes closing to recenter yourself, you counted to ten. The heat of Joel’s gaze like a burn on your skin, you opened your eyes and assessed his shirt. It was nice, a deep burgundy color, but the fit differed from the last one. You hated it. “I like the way the other one fit you better.”

The pattern continued until Joel tried on every shirt in his pile. You managed to keep your mind from straying again by making conversation.

“How did your date go last night?” You dreaded the answer but needed to know.

“It was… I’ve had better dates. She talked a lot,” he said through the fitting room door. “I couldn’t wait for it to be over, honestly. I just wanted to be home.”

“So, no second date then?” you confirmed, butterflies beginning to take flight in your belly.

“Hell no.”

A wave of relief washed over you at the conviction in Joel’s voice, but you tried not to let it show on your face or in your voice as he stepped through the door. “That’s too bad. You deserve to find someone great, Joel.”

He looked at you for a long time, his eyes penetrating like he was trying to tell you something without using words. You just had no idea what. You were about to bid him farewell as he paid for the shirts you chose – the bluish gray tee shirt that fit him so well and a flannel with similar hues, and two more just like them – when he stopped you.

“Uh, would you have lunch with me?” he asked shyly, eyes brimming with such eager hopefulness you nearly melted.

Part of you wanted to turn him down over hurt feelings he wasn’t even aware of, but you couldn’t. Not after what he just told you about his date. The other part of you screamed not to read too much into it, that he wasn’t asking you on a date. It would just be lunch with your boss. But the final part of you, the hopeless romantic who wore her heart on her sleeve and just helped the man pick out clothes like a girlfriend would, screamed that this could be your chance to get closer, that it could be a date if you made it one.

Fearing you stayed silent too long arguing with yourself, you rushed out a quick, “Sure.” Joel’s face lit up like you’d never seen before. He didn’t look anywhere near this happy when he left for his dinner date the night before.

tbc

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr @lulawantmula @islacharlotte @allyourfavesinoneblog @lover-of-books-and-tea @pedropascalsbbg @ashleyfilm @brittmb115 @lilmizmoz @loveisacowboyyy @shotgun-shelby @deninoe

[turnersverse]

with the exception of you i dislike everyone in the room.

a/n: this is my first fic and i have no idea what i'm doing so please bear with! please feel free to leave any feedback bc the last time i wrote was over a year ago sooooo ...

you discover alex's true feelings for you after finding his notebook he is always writing in but never shows anyone

friends to lovers, alex and reader have been friends for about 10 years !

you'd been in the studio all day with the band, even though you weren't apart of it you would often help with some of the guitar parts, seeing as you played it yourself. the monkeys already had about 4 songs for their new record, and you had a feeling this album could boost them to worldwide fame.

you were sat next to jamie, who was plucking at random strings on his guitar, his face scrunched up in concentration as he worked out in his brain the arrangement of notes. matt and nick were stood behind alex, who was hunched over his notebook that he wrote anything to do with the monkey's music in.

"al, mate, we need the lyrics. i don't know what i'm doing over here." jamie said, still looking at his guitar.

"just write a riff or something, i dunno." alex mumbled, before adding. "and can you two stop breathing down my neck? all i'm going to be able to write is how nick o'malley's annoyingly hot breath was gliding over the back of my head."

matt and nick just laughed as alex glared at them, nick starting to purposefully blow air at alex.

"right, stop it now." alex frowned, standing up from his seat. "i'm going for a smoke." and with that he left the room.

"he's got loads of songs in that stupid little book, he just doesn't want us to see them. i have a theory that he's just gonna start a solo project." matt said, sitting down on the sofa next to you. nick still hovered by alex's previous seat, looking between the notebook and the other three.

"no, nick, you can't." you said, knowing what nick was planning on doing.

matt caught on quickly, "i mean, it wouldn't hurt. al's not gonna know..."

"yeah but if he doesn't want us to see them, he'll have a good reason for it." you argued. jamie sighed and stood up, walking to the door.

"i'll go speak to him." the guitarist said before leaving the room.

you sat back, more comfortably, on the sofa. "why don't one of you write something? 'r u mine' is fairly based on the drums."

matt just scoffed, "yeah, i'll write summat, and then alex will come up with some lyrics that won't fit it at all." this had happened just the other day with jamie, who had written 'the best riff of his life' (as he'd called it) before alex showed the rest of the band the lyrics to a song he'd called 'mad sounds', which was much slower than what jamie had come up with.

"lets just have a peak.." nick said, inching closer to the notebook.

"nick, no." you said firmly.

"nick, yes!" matt said, a stupid grin on his face. the drummer looked at his mate, and a look was exchanged between the two. before you could even register their plan, matt had pinned your arms behind your back as nick grabbed the notebook.

you gasped in shock, looking between the two lads. matt was laughing whilst nick flicked through the book, until he stopped. you watched as his eyes scanned the page, before he spoke up. "hey, this is really good."

"let us see then." matt said, and nick handed the notebook to matt. you glanced over, although you knew your best mate would be fuming if he found out, the anticipation had got to you. scribbled at the top of the page were the words 'stop the world i wanna get off with you'. you read through the lyrics, finding that the song was obviously some sort of love song.

"that is really good." you said quietly, a few lyrics sticking out to you. a few phrases you'd heard before. matt hummed, and started tapping the floor with his foot. he flicked to the next page, where alex had written the guitar part.

"oh yeah." matt nodded, "this is similar to the tune we did the other day. 'why'd you only call me when you're high?'"

nick nodded, "yeah i noticed that. dunno who the lyrics are about but its pretty good." as he mentioned the lyrics, matt glanced at him, a certain look in his eyes.

you caught that, confusion written on your face. alex was your best mate, if something was going on, he'd tell you. but you felt like you were missing something here.

just as nick was about to say something, alex and jamie walked back into the room. you, matt and nick all looked between each other and alex, your eyes saying 'uh oh'. alex glanced at matts lap and saw the book.

"what the fuck?" he stormed over to matt and snatched his precious notebook up.

"alex, its good!" matt said, raising his arms up in defence.

"i dont want to do that one." he said angrily.

"why not?" you added in, looking at alex.

alex sighed, looking at you before sitting in the seat he had been in before. "lets just do something else."

"no, lets do this." nick said, his hands now on his hips.

"i wanna see." jamie said, walking to alex and picking up the notebook. alex didnt stop him, he just sat watching jamie's reaction.

after a few moments, jamie looked up with a smile, "this is really good."

"thanks." alex mumbled.

"we could do it. we could do a bit of.." matt stood up and went to his drums, picking up his drumsticks and drumming a bit of a beat. "we could do a bit of that."

alex nodded in approval, "yeah. i wrote the guitar as well. its on the next page."

matt smiled, now knowing that alex had given in as jamie flicked to the next page and looked at the guitar part. "yeahhhhh." he said, nodding his head. he put the notebook down and picked up his guitar, strumming the parts he remembered. everyone in the room collectively nodded, as nick picked up his bass and started playing stuff that would go along with the main guitar.

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

the band finished up in the studio 3 hours later, with a demo recorded for the album. alex had offered for you to go round his for tea, and you had gladly accepted. this was something the two of you did often; you would get together and order some sort of takeaway and spend most of the night talking. this had been a sort of tradition ever since alex bought his first house, and you and him spent the first night in there talking until the sun rose.

alex put out his cigarette before unlocking his car as you finished locking up the building. you got into the passenger side, flicking the radio on when alex started the car.

'starman' by david bowie was playing, a song you had always been fond of. you hummed along the the melodies as alex sat in a comfortable silence.

"i was thinking of covering summat for the album." alex spoke up, his accent prominent in his words.

"yeah?" you glance over at him, knowing he probably had an idea of what he wanted to cover by the tone of his voice.

"i was thinking that poem, the one you really like."

"what, 'i wanna be yours'?"

alex nodded. "yeah. thought it would be nice."

you nodded, a small smile on your face. "if you could pull it off. whats all this about though, with the new song and that? a new lover maybe?" you said, wiggling your eyebrows at alex.

"what? no!" he said, looking at you and then back at the road. "stop wiggling your eyebrows at me, you knob."

you just laugh in response, shaking your head as you turned your attention to the road. after a few moments, alex spoke up again.

"did you like the song though? i thought the lyrics were a bit.. i dunno.. cheesy."

"i think it's really good, al. it's similar to the stuff you wrote for 'suck it and see', in a way." you commented, holding back the other thoughts you had.

"yeah, i havent been feeling very.. romantic, lets say, since me and alexa broke up." alex said quietly, knowing that for the past 10 years, there probably hadn't been a single day he hadn't felt that way.

the two settled into a comfortable silence for the remainder of the journey back to alex's house. when they arrived, alex unlocked the door and you went straight to his living room, grabbing 'your' blanket from the back of the settee before settling in the corner of his l-shaped sofa, where you always sat. alex came back into the room with two cans: a can of carling and a pre-mix malibu and pineapple. he passed the latter to you, a quiet 'thank you' leaving your lips.

"chinese or pizza?" alex said, holding up the menus he had also collected from the kitchen.

you hummed, thinking for a moment. "pizza. usual order?"

alex nodded, reaching for his phone to order the food. you got comfy in your seat, pulling the blanket over your legs. you took the tv remote off the coffee table and flicked through the channels, not really reading what was on as something else plagued your mind.

"alright, cheers mate." alex said as he ended the call. "pizza will be here in 45 minutes."

you nodded, your eyes still focused on the tv screen. alex came and sat down next to you, pulling some of the blanket on to his lap and watching you try to find something to watch.

"that sounds good." he said to a true crime series you had stopped your scrolling to read the description of. you clicked on it and placed the remote back down on the coffee table, now concentrating on the series.

alex watched you for a few moments before watching the tv as well. he felt as if something was off with you. usually you would rest your head on his shoulder. he also felt like you'd been a lot quieter today, which you never are.

"are you okay?" he spoke up, watching you turn to look at him.

"uh, yeah." you said quickly, turning your attention back to the screen.

sighing, alex reached for the remote and paused the series. "no you're not. whats up?"

you pull your legs up to your chest, avoiding eye contact. "nothing, its just.." you trail off.

"just..?" alex said, waiting for you to continue.

you sigh, just deciding to spit it out. "the new song.. the lyrics."

alex felt his heart drop, knowing that you knew. "yeah?"

"'with the exception of you i dislike everyone in the room'. you said that to me. at the 'suck it and see' release party." you say, quietly.

"y/n.." alex said, praying silently for you to look at him. "i'm sorry."

you look up at him, confusion written all over your face. "why are you sorry?"

"i dunno, i'm sorry for letting my silly old heart feel like this. i understand if you don't feel the same. but every word in that song is true. the meaning of it all.. and i've always felt this way. thats not the only one as well. so many songs have been inspired by you, and how i feel for you. i'm so, so sorry if you don't reciprocate these feelings, but i can't hide them anymore." alex said, and you could see it all in his eyes. the desperation for you to feel the same, the fear of rejection, the look of love.

you didn't know what to do. you knew you felt the same, and it scared you. it scared you that you'd always loved alex, but could never bring yourself to do anything about it. you never dreamed he would feel the same until today.

"please say something." alex said quietly, watching you.

"i feel the same way." was all you could say at first. you watched as the look in alex's eyes completely changed, how it softened.

"it scares me alex, because i dont want to lose you. i can't lose you. you're my best friend, but i've always felt more. i've always longed to be the one you write songs about. the one you kiss goodnight and wake up beside every morning. but i'm so, so scared. i'm scared i'll ruin it all and i'll lose you. i'm scared of love." you say quietly. the next thing you knew, alexs arms were around your waist, pulling you to his chest.

you clutched onto him, relishing in the feeling of being in his arms. "don't feel like that. don't be scared. you'll never lose me." alex said softly.

you look up at him, watching as his gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, your breath stolen away as he closed the gap between you and met your lips with his. and in that moment, you knew that had been where you were wrong. as your lips fit alex's perfectly like a puzzle. you knew you were made for each other, soulmates both platonically and romantically.

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

another little a/n: i didn't really know where i was going with this, and i'm sorry if the endings shit😪

p.s if you noticed the miles reference ily

[lily-fics-11]

The Girl Next Door: Chapter 2 (Hazel Callahan, Bottoms)

Fic master post here (feel free to comment to be added to taglist)

The Girl Next Door

You hadn't been close with your neighbor Hazel for years. But you find her beat up in the locker room after fight club and all of that changes.

Chapter 2

Car rides with Hazel have you falling for her harder than ever. 

CW: mentions of blood and injury, mentions of violence, cursing, Taylor Swift references (I know not everyone is a fan so if people don't like it, I won't add anymore) *not beta read

You and Hazel walk to your car in silence. You get in the car and pass her the aux. “You still listen to Taylor Swift?” She asks shyly. 

“Of course I do!” You tell her with the biggest smile. She remembers your favorite singer. Does she remember all the times you would sing those songs together?

“What do you think about the new albums? And the re-recordings?” Hazel sounds excited to talk about Taylor Swift too, she remembers. 

“The 10 Minute Version of All Too Well has literally changed my life.”

“Should I put it on?”

“Absolutely!”

Before you know it you are on your way home, scream singing the 10 Minute Version of All Too Well, with Hazel. Since the song came out you’ve been listening to it over and over and thinking about her. There were so many lyrics that reminded you of your relationship with her. 

Her sweet disposition, and your wide eyed gaze. Being able to picture it after all these days. You might be okay but you’re not fine at all. How you got lost in translation. You had lost the one real thing you had ever known. It was rare, you were there, you remember it all to well.

But singing these lyrics with her, it was healing all those old wounds in a way you didn’t know was possible. You were stealing glances to see the smile on her face. Sometimes she would catch your gaze. As the words “ever lovely jewel” play she’s looking right at you.

Usually you were happy to live so close to the school. It was convenient. But with Hazel beside you it just wasn’t enough time. It’s hard to keep the smile on your face as you pull into your driveway, knowing that your time together is about to end. 

As soon as you are parked Hazel throws open the door, like she’s trying to run away. 

“Wait!” You yell at her, wondering why she’s so anxious the get out of your car. You do have to admit that this was a little overwhelming for you and it probably was for her too. She was the one that left you. She probably never wanted to be in this situation. 

She’s halfway out the door when she acknowledges you. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at you. 

You nervously clear your throat. 

“I just wanted to see if 8:00 was good for tomorrow morning…”

“Yeah. Yes. See you then.” Is all she has to say before she’s out and walking away from your car.

You were hurt for a moment but you started to watch her walk away and you realized that her wearing your sweatshirt meant that she was wearing your last name across her back. You just started giggling and then you punched your fist in the air and said “yes” when you thought about the smell of your perfume being stuck on her, even if it was only for a little while. You were never religious but you point up at the sky and say thank you. 

That night you spent about an hour curating the perfect outfit and set your alarm for an extra hour early so you would have time to perfect your makeup. 

When your alarm goes off the next morning you are immediately up and getting ready for the day, which is as stark contrast to your usual slamming of the snooze button. 

You usually just filled in your eyebrows and put on mascara for school but today you were going to be the first person Hazel saw and you wanted to stay on her mind all day. 

You start with your face. A little bronzer to warm up your face and a little blush to liven you up. Some highlighter on your cheekbones and the tip of your nose to catch light, and Hazel's attention. You also add a bit of highlighter to the inner corner of your eyes to draw her eyes right where you wanted it. You add a subtle wing to further accentuate your eyes and then do your usual mascara and brow routine. You finish off with your lips. You over-line them with a darker brown and fill them in with a nude lipstick to make them look as full as they can. You add a layer of lip gloss on top to make them look as inviting as possible. Not that you expect anything to come of this, but you can dream, right?

Your light wash ripped jeans are high waisted and perfectly hug the shape of your body. Your shirt is the perfect amount of low cut to highlight your assets and short enough to expose a tasteful amount of midriff. You put on your trusty pair of converse for good luck. 

You are in your car a few minutes early feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. You sip on your coffee as you wait for Hazel. 

The clock hits 8:00, no Hazel. Not a problem though. You told her a few minutes early because you know she has a tendency to run late. That girl is nothing if not easily distracted.  

Hazel emerges from her house at 8:05 looking a little disheveled. She’s got hair sticking up out of place and she’s wearing… holy shit she is wearing your sweatshirt again!

Hazel plops down into your car. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be late. I was just thinking about… things, and lost track of time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You tell her, and you can’t help yourself from pointing out “I see that you’re still wearing my sweatshirt.”

Her eyes widen, pupils dilating, and a bright red flush appears on her face. 

“I, um, fell asleep in it last night. And I didn’t have time to find another sweatshirt after getting dressed,” she tries excuse but you don’t need any justification. It takes everything in you not to giggle and kick your feet. Your sweatshirt. On Hazel all night. The smell of your perfume on her and now on her pillows and sheets. 

You just nod, “makes sense.”

“I didn’t even have time to make coffee,” she shakes her head in disappointment.

You are not really sure what caffeine would do to someone like Hazel but you still offer “you can have some of mine.” You didn’t think it was possible, but she is blushing even more.

“No, it’s totally fine. It’s my fault I don’t have any coffee. I’m the one that got distracted. You shouldn’t have to give up any of your coffee because I’m a mess.”

“I don’t usually finish it before it gets cold. So feel free to go for it.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“We used to share everything, right?” You remind her.

“We used to share everything.” She echos. 

She mumbles something under her breath that you can’t quite make out. But to your surprise she picks up the coffee and takes a sip. 

You bite down a smile when you see a bit of your lipstick on her mouth, it must have gotten left behind from when you were drinking it. 

“What?” She questions, seeing your failed attempt at holding back a smile.

“You’ve got a little something…” you motion to your mouth. 

She looks confused and opens the visor to look in the mirror. You expect her to be upset that your lipstick got on her but she just giggles. “Believe me, this color looks very good on you, but I think it looks even better on me.”

You can’t help but giggle too.

To your surprise she doesn’t bother to wipe the lipstick off, she just leaves it there. Leaving behind the indirect connection of your lips for anyone to see. Not your ideal way to leave your lipstick on her lips but you can’t complain either. 

Your sweatshirt. Your lipstick. You feel like you are going to pass out. 

You clear your throat, “we should probably get going…” Hazel nods in agreement. 

You turn on the car and put it in reverse. 

“Can I have the aux?” She asks.

“Go for it.” You pull out of the driveway. 

“I made us a playlist.” Your jaw drops and you accidentally slam on the breaks. 

You look at Hazel and Hazel looks at you in a panic. “I’m so sorry!” You tell her.

“It’s ok, it’s fine, it’s all good,” she tries to assure you but she is clearly fearing for her life. How stupid could you be? Hazel will never get in your car again after this!

You just stare at her for a minute trying to gauge where she’s at. She clears her throat. “You should probably drive now…” she suggests.

You just nod and start to drive, focusing on the road, afraid to make eye contact. 

“So, the playlist,” she says very hesitantly, “it’s all the Taylor Swift songs we haven’t gotten to listen to together.”

Your mouth drops open and you are speechless.

Her eyes widen, and she quickly tries remedy the situation “if you don’t want to listen to it we don’t have to!”

“No! That’s not it. I’m just surprised. That’s all.” You mumble, just clear enough for her to understand what you are saying. 

“I always used to make us playlists,” it’s her turn to remind you. The memory is a little bittersweet, tainted by the years of separation.  Music starts playing over the speaker. 

If there is one thing people should know about Hazel it’s that she’s a talker. She can talk about anything and everything for hours on end. But in the best way possible. She always puts a smile on the face of whoever she is talking to. It’s quite endearing. 

Hazel goes off on a tangent about fight club. After telling you the story of how she ended up in the state you found her in yesterday she pauses for a moment. 

“You could always come with me today, to fight club. We meet everyday after school.” She shyly offers.

“Hazel I don’t know if you remember the blood all over you yesterday, but I do. And you have a black eye.” You are thinking it but neglect to mention how the black eye and smear of your lipstick are making you feel a certain type of way. 

“Yes there are, side effects, but it’s worth it to learn how to defend yourself. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.” That last part comes out as more of a mumble that may not have been intended for you to hear. 

You start to take the offer into consideration. How far are you willing to go to spend more time with Hazel? You don’t want to seem desperate, doing something you clearly don’t want to do just for her. So you ask “Isabel and Brittany are in the club, right?” They are two of your very close friends. 

“Yeah, and a bunch of other girls. I promise that everyone is really nice. Everyone except PJ. No one is trying to hurt you. Everyone except PJ. But if you are worried about who you are going to have to fight, you can just pair up with me until you get comfortable. You know I would never do anything to hurt you.” A lump forms in your throat and you focus on the road, afraid that if you look at her you will burst into tears. If asked at the age of 13 you would have said that Hazel would never in a million years do anything to hurt you. You absolutely believe she would never physically harm you. But she didn’t just break your heart, she ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. If anything you would have preferred for her to have punched you square in the face. That pain would have only been temporary. A million thoughts are swimming through your mind but you snap back into reality once you realize that you just parked your car. 

You thought the pain of losing Hazel was the worst thing you would ever feel. But now that you are thinking about it, missing out on the opportunity to get Hazel back would be astronomically worse. You remind yourself that you wouldn’t be getting Hazel in the way that you truly want her. But it was better than not having her at all. You turn towards her and she is looking at you expectantly. 

You let out a deep breath you don’t know you were holding in when you tell her: “fuck it, I’m in.” Her face lights up.

“It’s going to be great,” she assures you, “I promise.” She holds out her pinky and you feel butterflies in your stomach. You hook your pinky around hers and you both kiss your thumbs. The way you always used to.

[heartrobynn]

01. “The start of nothing.”

I ask everyone who interacts with this account to educate themselves, support, and donate to Palestine.

Please click to support Palestine, won’t take more than 20 seconds.

Author note: This is my first fanfic I’ve ever made, so if this is really butt I apologize on my behalf! 😥 I’d also really appreciate it if given criticism, so I can try to improve my writing!! Honestly, I was gonna scrap this because I hate how it turned out, but I would’ve felt bad since people were excited for it.

series masterlist

Word count: 1.6k

“BUZZ!! BUZZ!!”, the bulky alarm clock that sits on your nightstand sang. Mumbles escaped your lips as you slowly started to awaken from your slumber. Getting irritated from the repetitive siren, you forced yourself up and unplugged the whole device. “Fucking hell.”, you mumbled to yourself, already knowing today was gonna be a long day. Every semester, everyone’s schedule gets changed because you’re required to take 4 classes each semester, unless you have release time. Last Friday, everyone got their schedule and you came to find out you have no classes with your two closest friends, Arianna and Maia. Which you were really annoyed about because you don’t really talk to anyone else. (But hey, at least you guys have lunch with each other!!) It’s not even like you cannot make friends, you just kinda choose not to, better to keep your friend group small anyways. 

After staring into the abyss for 5 minutes, trying to gain your consciousness, you decided to do something productive and hopped in the shower. After refreshing yourself for the day, you decided to wear an oversized, multi neutral color sweater and some dull colored jeans that weren’t your exact size, but not exactly over sized either. You added some jewels to your fit, so you looked less dead. Not having the energy to put on your usual makeup routine, you decided to apply mascara to your lashes and wore your favorite lip combo. After you were satisfied by how you looked, you grabbed your headphones and headed down stairs. 

“Morning sleeping beauty, how was your sleep last night?”, voice coming from the man sitting down on the table chair, reading the latest newspaper like the old man he is. “Morning papa! My sleep was decent, wished I could’ve slept in though.”, you sigh as you’re putting on your UNIF Phoebes. “You know what happened last time I let you stay home, don’t need your mother being pissy towards me.”, your father opened his mouth to add on, but decided not to say anything else at the last second. You shift around in the kitchen, grabbing the chicken wrap you made last night and a bottle of water. Walking to the door to grab your book bag and stuffing all your items necessary for the day in it, “Alright, I’m leaving now. Stay safe, love you!”, you walk out the door to see Adrianna and Maia waiting for you.

You enter the back seat of the jet black Toyota Corolla, which belonged to Adrianna. As you enter the car, your ears immediately get blasted by the lyrics coming from the aux, however since it’s Window Seat by Erykah Badu, it's a valid excuse to be blasting music that loud at 7:15. “Hey boo, you look so adorbs today!”, your effortlessly pretty friend, Maia, tells you while staring at you through the rearview mirror. “Thanks my love, feel so shitty today, so that made me feel a little better”, you groan as you start to slouch in the car seat, dreading the fact y’all would be arriving at school in the next 10 minutes. Adrianna giggles at you, you were always the dramatic one out of the trio, “Trust and believe that you can last 3 periods without us until lunch. Plus, you could use this as an opportunity to get to know more people!” Maia nods her head agreeing with Adrianna. Even though you have Maia and Adrianna, your friends really were persistent in you meeting new people, especially since this was y’all last year, they just didn’t want you regretting missing out on so many opportunities. “Sighhh, I guess I could.”, you continue to slouch in the car seat, while Adrianna starts singing her own adlibs (that she swears up and down eats) and Maia groans in annoyance because she's gonna go crazy if Adrianna continues singing.

The first day with your renewed schedule wasn’t all that bad, but wasn’t interesting either. Well, not until your third period class. Your first period was Spanish IV, you sat in the back so you won’t gather much of your teacher’s attention later in the year. Even though you enjoyed learning Spanish, you hated when your previous Spanish teachers would randomly pick on you to read out a question or sentence they had on the board. Although, as you were seated in the back of the classroom, you noticed a certain auburn hair colored girl, she really only caught your eye because she was fast asleep during the little icebreakers your teacher showcased on the board. She was so into her sleep that you almost envied her, wishing you could sleep just like a newborn baby who just got breastfed just like she was. You whipped out your phone, not wanting to look like a creep for staring so hard and scrolled through r/AITA thread until class ended. 

When the period ended, you and your friends met up with each other so y'all could walk each other to class, even if y'all had to go separate ways. “Bro there’s this girl in my class and I swear she’s the love of my life.”, Adrianna dreamily sighs thinking about the girl’s captivating beauty and her alluring smile, while you and Maia give her the stankest side eye. “Babes.., this is like the 3rd girl you swore was the love of your life in the past 2 weeks.” Adrianna redirected her attention to Maia while you added on, “no actually, and then they be the most vile looking creatures I’ve seen.”, Adrianna rolled her eyes at the both of you raining on her parade, “Why can’t y'all ever support me? If I wanna fall in love with every woman I meet, y'all supposed to be my best wingmen.” Adrianna playfully argued with the both of y'all before the warning bell rudely interrupted. “Oh shit, we gotta go. I’m not tryna get caught up in the hall sweep again.” All three of y'all quickly scattered as y'all said your goodbyes, thankfully your class was nearby, so you weren’t late!

You walked into your calculus I class, only to find there was one seat left and it was right in the front too. You already knew you were gonna despise this class, as you sat down in the seat, your teacher began to pass out papers to the class, “To those who just walked in, I’m passing out a review paper of different pre-calculus problems to refresh your memories for next class because we’ll be getting straight into the lesson.” Students around the classroom mumbling and groaning in annoyance, all you can do is just sit in silence as you’re about to fall into your inevitable doom. Your teacher hands your own paper, you look at the first question, only to find out you’re completely cooked.

After that abominable second period, you decided to go straight to your AP Physics class rather than hanging out with your friends during the passing period because you wanted to have the opportunity to pick your seat without being limited. However, that wish got immediately crushed when you walked in the classroom just to see assign seats displayed on the board, “are you fucking serious right now.” you think to yourself trying not to crash out in the middle of class. You look at the name of the girl who sat right next to you, Abigail Anderson. You’ve heard good and bad things about the girl, but you didn’t know her yourself personally, so you didn’t really have your own opinion on her. You looked away from the board scanning the room to find y’all seats, only to see the muscular girl on her phone, paying no attention to her surroundings. You sat next to her feeling really awkward, especially since she didn’t even look up at you to acknowledge your presence. 

As the bell rings, your teacher starts to explain the reason why she has y’all in assign seats. Your seatmate is your assigned partner for any class work y’all have if it requires it and completing the study guides with each other, since the curriculum cannot be fully covered in class,  you and your partner are responsible for teaching it among yourselves. You quietly celebrate in your head, relieved from the awkwardness from having to find your own partner. However, that relief is short-lived as your partner, Abby, raises her hand up, drawing the teacher’s attention. “Is there an issue, Ms. Anderson?” Your teacher asks as she views her clipboard to make sure she addressed the girl's name correctly. “Are we allowed to request a new partner?”, right then and there, a surge of embarrassment washes over you completely. “Unfortunately no, In the real world you’re gonna have to work with people you don’t want to or don’t know, so you need to get prepared for that starting now!”, your teacher firmly says. You catch a scoff and a muttered remark from Abby, being reluctant about working with you. Normally, you’d let shit slide, but today your mouth moves before you can stop. “Alright, now you’re doing entirely too fucking much, acting like I desperately wanna work with you or something.”, Abby turns her head to face you, giving you an insulting gaze before opening her obnoxious ass mouth to speak again. “Not my fault you look like an insufferable person, I personally don’t wanna work with someone who’s gonna cause me headaches.”, as she continued to speak, the more agitated you were getting, how is she gonna label you as an insufferable person when she doesn’t even fucking know shit about you?? Fuming with frustration, you're about to respond when the teacher intervenes, “Alright ladies, calm down. I don’t need any of that happening in my class, if y’all have problems with each other y’all can solve that on your own time. Anyways back to what I said previously...” As the tension eases, your teacher returns to her lesson, though the uneasy atmosphere lingers in the air. Throughout the remainder of class, your mind could only focus on the things Abby said, unable to shake the irritation she caused. 

part 02. ??

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@elliesactualgirlfriend @desireesfics

[thirdsaltyhunter]

Crawl Home to Her

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean thinks back on the times he died but found his way home to kiss you

Warning: mentions of death and dying, drinking, talk of alcoholism, cursing, kissing, angst, Dean self hate, takes place in season 10 so spoilers.

A/N: This is inspired by Work Song by Hozier and written in Dean's POV with lyrics acting as Dean's thoughts, lyrics in italics. NOT PROOFREAD ALL MISTAKES ARE MY OWN

I don't want to get out of bed. I couldn't have woken up more than three minutes ago, but I'm so tired. Though that's been a pretty consistent occurrence for most of my life. I'd have a hard time remembering the last time I woke up feeling rested, and to make it worse, these past few months- few years, have been grueling. Hell, in the past few months I inherited the Mark of Cain, died and came back as a demon; I don't know how much more I can take. I want this to be over, but it's not, it's never over. The Mark still on my arm is a reminder of that. I'm glad I have Y/N, I don't think I could go through all of this alone. She's still with me even after everything. She makes it all worth it.

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

As if she could hear me thinking about her she emerged through our bedroom door with a smile that always seems to melt away my worries and two mugs of coffee in hand. That explains why she wasn't lying next to me when I woke up. I release the breath I've been unconsciously holding since waking to find her not beside me. "Good morning my love" she says softly, handing me one of the mugs and sitting next to me on the bed. "Mornin' sweetheart". She cups my face and kisses me, soft and sweet. I kiss her back, with a wanting for something I don't deserve.

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once front he cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be.

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

It's still hard believing that all this is real. I was supposed to be dead. I did die. Yet here I am, waking up another morning, another morning with her. I remember hearing her when I was fading from the stab wound. I heard her begging me to stay with her and it made me fight. Evidently I wasn't strong enough to win the initial struggle against death, but I made it out alive and came home to her. Despite how ugly the road back was.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

I think back to before we were together, back to when I came back after getting dragged to Hell. I wanted to shut everyone out, even her, and bury myself in a new grave of alcohol and guilt. Sam and Bobby had tried to get me to open up, tried to get me to talk about the literal Hell I had been through, Y/N never did. She somehow always knew when to push and when I needed to be left alone. So many nights I stayed awake, unable to sleep through the waves of guilt. Guilt over what I did in Hell, what I put Sam, Y/N and Bobby through, guilt for leaving them. My mind was so loud these nights, I drank until I blacked out. It was after one of these nights that I had woken up with a killer hangover in the bedroom that she usually slept in at Bobby's. Incomplete glimpses from the night before flashed through my head. Remembering how Y/N had found me in my drunken stupor and hauled me up from my seat at the kitchen table. How she managed to get me up the stairs and into bed by herself is beyond me, but I've learned over the years of knowing her, to not underestimate what she's capable of.

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

I had drug myself out of bed and wandered downstairs, unconsciously searching for her. I found her curled up asleep on the worn out sofa in the library. A new wave of guilt washed over me. I hadn't even pulled my head out of my ass long enough to ask her how she was, and now she had gone out of her way, given up her bed, so I could be comfortable. I didn't deserve her. That's why I kept my feelings for her to myself for so many years. I moved past her to the kitchen quietly, as to not wake her. I wanted to have a pot of coffee ready for her when she woke up, it was the least I could do. I was going to bring her a cup but she heard me moving around in the kitchen before the pot was even done brewing. "Hey" I saw her rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her hair disheveled. My heart swelled at how cute I thought she was when she was like this, though I would never tell her that. Not only because I thought it might ruin our friendship, but also because she would probably stab me for calling her cute. "Hey" she responded, voice still thick with sleep. "You want a cup of coffee? ", I asked as I poured a cup for her, already knowing what her answer would be. "Please", she said with a tired smile. That morning over coffee I had told her some of what I went through in Hell, that I had broken and tortured souls. She listened, without judgment, without fear and without asking questions I didn't feel like answering at the moment. The fact the she didn't push me made me comfortable to tell her everything.

And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I live

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

And now almost 6 years later, I'm still doing the same thing. I put her through all that again. I made a stupid decision that got me dead but I made it back, only to try and shut her out. But now that we're together I know she's not going to let me do that and I'm too tired and I love her too much to fight her, even though everything in me is telling me to stay away from her. I don't know how she can even look at me let alone still be with me. I tried to kill her and Sam when I was a demon and there's more terrible things I did that she doesn't even know about, though I'm pretty sure she knows and isn't telling me. After her and Sam cured me, I tried to keep her at arms distance, tried to tell her the list of reasons why she shouldn't want me anymore. How could anyone forgive me after everything I did. But she took me into her arms and kept telling me it wasn't really me, that her and Sam still love me and all that matters is that she has me back.

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord dont forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

She spent all of last night kissing away my pain. I want to take away her pain too. I set my coffee on the nightstand and reach over to take her cup too, setting it beside mine. "What'cha doin'" she looked confused until I turned back, grabbing her and pulling her to lay with me. "Fixing it", I whispered, knowing it wasn't an answer that made sense, but I was going to kiss her until it fixed her broken heart. I moved to hover over her and just looked at her, holding her face in my hands. Even in the low light of the early morning, she's still breathtakingly gorgeous. She pulls me down to kiss her and I get the feeling she knows what I'm trying to do. I pour everything I'm feeling into kissing her, how sorry I am for leaving her, for all the heartache it caused her. I don't think I'll ever erase from my mind, the sound of her crying as I was dying. The memory has me blinking back tears. I turn to hide my face in her neck and trail kisses along her shoulder. Her arms wrap around my back and I can't help but melt into her, breathing in the scent of her perfume. The weight is off my shoulders for once, I can breathe easier, and nothing matters outside of us.

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and Hell were words to me

When my time come around

It's moments like these that make me fight so hard. Fight to be better, do better. Fight for her and fight to stay with her. I roll over onto my back, pulling her with me to lay her head on my chest. "I promise that no matter what happens I'll alway find a way back to you". It was a promise I was making to myself as much as it was to her, and I intended to keep it.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 17

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 36k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |

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Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.

Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.

The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.

And it was no different this time around.

It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.

Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.

Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.

The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.

Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.

The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

And that same thing happened every single day.

On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.

Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.

Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.

There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.

"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.

She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.

After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.

Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.

Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.

Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"

When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.

It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.

Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.

They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"

"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.

"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"

"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.

The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."

"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.

The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.

It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.

He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.

Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.

The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.

"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.

"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.

God had he fucking missed her.

"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.

Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."

They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.

"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.

He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.

"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.

Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.

Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."

He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.

Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."

"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.

"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.

Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."

But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."

Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.

Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.

Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"

Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."

Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."

She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"

"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"

"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.

Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."

It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."

Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.

With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.

However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.

Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.

Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.

Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.

"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.

"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."

Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.

Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.

Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.

"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."

His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.

"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"

Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.

"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."

Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.

"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"

Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."

She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."

The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.

She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.

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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.

It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.

Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.

They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.

Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.

"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.

The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.

Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.

Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.

If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.

"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.

But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."

Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.

She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.

"Got a house in Los Angeles."

He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.

After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.

All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.

"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.

Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.

He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."

"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.

"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."

Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.

He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."

Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"

"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.

"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"

She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.

"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.

"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."

"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."

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Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.

Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.

It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.

She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.

She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.

Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.

Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.

Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."

And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.

Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.

She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.

When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.

There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.

A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.

"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.

"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.

Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"

Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.

Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."

Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."

In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.

"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.

Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.

Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."

Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.

Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.

She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.

When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.

There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.

After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.

But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.

She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.

The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.

Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.

It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"

He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"

Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.

The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.

She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."

Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."

She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.

After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.

Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.

Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.

The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.

So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.

Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.

The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."

When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.

Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.

The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.

She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.

It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.

'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.

Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.

She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.

A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.

"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.

She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.

Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.

He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.

When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.

They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.

They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.

Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.

Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.

However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.

It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.

They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.

A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.

With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.

Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.

The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.

It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.

Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.

Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.

She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.

It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.

But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.

And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.

This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.

It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.

Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.

Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.

"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.

Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"

He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."

She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."

A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.

She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.

And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.

When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.

Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."

Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."

And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.

But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.

Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?

All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.

"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.

"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.

Coward.

Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."

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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.

As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.

There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.

It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.

The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.

Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."

Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."

They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.

Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.

Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.

After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.

The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.

When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.

"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.

She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.

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"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."

The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"

There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.

She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."

Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."

Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.

"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.

"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"

Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."

She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.

Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."

Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.

The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.

His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.

Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.

It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.

Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.

The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.

Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.

Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.

Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.

As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."

At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."

The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.

Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.

So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.

"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.

Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.

She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"

When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.

Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.

"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"

Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."

"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.

Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."

Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."

"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."

"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."

Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"

Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.

Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.

"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.

With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.

Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.

Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.

They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.

It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.

A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."

"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.

Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."

That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.

The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.

Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.

The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.

"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."

"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.

Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."

The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.

There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.

A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.

Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.

The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.

Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.

The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.

When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"

He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."

"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.

"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.

"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."

She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.

Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."

"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."

Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.

Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.

So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.

The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.

Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.

It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.

"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.

"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"

The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."

"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."

Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"

Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."

Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.

"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"

"No." Matt shook his head straight away.

"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."

When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."

She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.

"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.

They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.

Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.

She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."

Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.

"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.

Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."

Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.

"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.

Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.

Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.

Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."

But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."

"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.

And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."

"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.

"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."

"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.

Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.

"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.

Alex nodded again, "Yes!"

"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.

Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.

"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"

Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.

He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.

Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.

The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.

Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.

Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.

"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.

He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."

Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."

Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.

She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.

Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."

"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.

She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."

Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.

The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.

Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.

A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.

Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.

But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.

(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!

Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.

"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."

Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."

When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.

It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.

For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.

What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.

The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.

"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"

Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."

Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."

"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."

The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."

The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."

Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"

It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.

"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.

Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."

"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.

"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."

Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.

Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.

When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.

Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.

After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.

"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."

Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.

Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."

The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.

When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.

Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.

This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.

When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.

It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.

Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.

Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"

"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.

Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."

But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."

"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.

It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.

Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"

Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.

Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.

Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"

"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.

"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.

"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."

That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.

Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".

The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.

"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.

Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."

"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"

Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"

Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."

Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."

"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.

Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."

What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.

"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"

Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."

But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."

The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.

"Where?" The group asked in chorus.

"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."

Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."

Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."

One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.

Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."

All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.

Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.

While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.

She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"

"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.

Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."

But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"

She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."

His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."

"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.

He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."

She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."

The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.

"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."

"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.

Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.

She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."

"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.

Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."

It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"

"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.

With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.

Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.

Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."

Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"

But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.

The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.

A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.

Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."

The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.

Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.

When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."

It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.

Tonight is promising.

Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."

But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.

Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."

Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."

Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.

There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.

The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.

That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.

She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.

There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.

And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.

His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.

Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.

She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.

His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"

With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.

Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.

Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.

"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.

But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.

The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.

At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.

Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.

Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.

The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.

A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.

Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.

Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.

Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.

And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."

The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.

It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.

"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.

Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."

Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.

The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.

Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.

His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.

Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.

Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.

She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.

In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.

Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.

And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.

As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.

She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.

It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.

Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.

Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.

And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.

Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.

Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.

Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.

She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.

But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.

He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.

"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."

With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.

Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.

She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.

"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.

This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.

"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.

But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.

He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.

Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.

Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.

To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.

"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."

Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.

The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.

She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."

Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.

Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.

Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."

His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.

"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.

Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.

In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.

The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.

The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.

At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.

Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.

Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."

The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.

Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.

"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.

Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"

Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"

It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."

"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.

Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."

When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."

"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.

She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.

"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.

But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.

To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"

With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."

"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."

Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.

Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.

This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.

He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.

Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.

About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.

She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.

For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.

She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.

Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.

They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.

When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.

Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"

But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.

The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.

In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.

Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.

Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.

So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.

Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.

She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.

Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"

The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.

"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."

He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.

She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.

"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."

"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.

As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.

A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.

Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.

"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.

But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."

Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.

There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.

She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.

It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.

So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.

Just one thing.

His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.

He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.

It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.

And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.

She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.

But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"

Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.

When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.

She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.

In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.

A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.

Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.

Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.

But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.

Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."

He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.

"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.

Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.

Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.

She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.

Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.

Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.

The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.

It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.

Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.

He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.

Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."

Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.

"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.

"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."

Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.

All he could properly do was kiss her.

The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.

It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.

She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.

Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.

"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.

Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.

Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."

Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."

The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.

Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."

She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."

He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."

It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.

One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.

"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.

She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."

"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.

But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.

Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.

He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.

Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.

Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.

All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.

They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.

Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.

She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.

His. She was already completely his.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.

She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.

After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.

It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.

That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.

All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.

Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"

The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.

She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"

It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."

Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"

A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."

There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."

The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."

"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"

Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.

"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."

Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"

"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"

The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.

Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."

Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."

Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"

"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.

Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."

It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."

Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"

The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.

"He told us this morning."

"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.

Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"

"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."

A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."

"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.

"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.

And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"

The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.

Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."

She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.

"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.

Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"

Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."

"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.

"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.

It'll be alright, it'll all work out.

Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.

Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.

It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.

Fuck.

She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.

That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.

Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.

She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.

Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.

She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.

So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.

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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx

Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.

Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.

Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.

But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.

It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.

Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.

"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.

Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"

They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.

"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."

Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.

They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.

"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."

Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."

Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."

"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.

It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."

Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"

Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."

Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."

Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.

"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.

Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."

After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.

With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.

(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx

She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.

She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.

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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.

She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.

Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.

She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.

As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.

She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.

But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.

Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.

She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.

Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.

It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.

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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.

When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.

(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx

Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.

She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.

So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.

She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.

But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.

She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.

Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.

She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.

The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."

"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.

"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.

Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."

"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."

This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."

But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"

Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."

But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"

When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.

"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.

Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."

"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.

Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.

Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.

"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.

Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"

"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"

No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."

She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.

"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.

Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."

"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"

"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."

"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.

A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."

Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."

"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.

"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.

The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.

"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.

Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."

"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."

Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."

"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"

"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.

From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.

Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."

"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.

Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."

Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.

"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.

The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.

And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.

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A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[unsaidthingsj2e]

Promise i don't forget all of my fault in this

Summary : After Jude broke your heart, he can't help but regret how he did it. Loosing his best friend of 10 years is not something he knows how to cope with

a/n : here is part 2 to this fic, probably not what you were expecting but i like it this way better!

english is still not my first language so if any sentence doesn't make sense or if typos are hiding in there, i apologize!! (+ this is even barely proofread sorry)

title is a lyrics from Best by Gracie Abrams

To the eye of anyone else, his life looked like a dream.

With his career predicted to continue its raising towards a legendary peak, a beautiful girl he genuinely was in love with at his side and a promise of everything going his way in life, it seemed like the equation was solved.

The thing is, it was solved, he found x, he had x but he also threw x away, thinking it wasn't necessary to his well-being.

The problem is, x was his ex-lover, ex-best friend, ex-childhood friend. When he made the decision to leave her behind, he thought he did the right thing.

Breaking her heart was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he knew she wouldn't have survived seeing him with a new girl while still being in his life. He knew if given the option, she would've stayed at his side, as a best friend, a friend, an acquaintance. So in his mind, breaking her heart, leaving her with a lost soulmate was the best decision, for her.

He had not anticipated how much it would hurt him as well.

He spent the first week feeling unbelievably lighter. Lying to her, going out with his girl behind her back and cheating were not things he had enjoyed doing. He knew he had no right to be sad or even to complain about anything, being the one doing the cheating and not being cheated on.

He was certain if younger Jude could, he would find a way to travel in time and hunt current Jude down until the end of his days. She used to be so much more than an ex-lover.

Ever since primary school, she had been the only constant thing in his life. He had other friendships that he grew out of, he had girlfriends that wouldn't last enough time for him to even get attached, and he now had fans that would forget about him in a few months. But she was always there, and that's what made him think she was the perfect match for him.

He already loved her and they got along better than any other friends, he knew her inside out and still admired her, he already went through hell and back by her side. It made sense that what he was feeling was romantic love. And perhaps it was at first, or maybe it never was, he could not pinpoint the moment he realized he made a mistake and confused platonic feelings for romantic ones.

It's the fact that she realized so much faster than him that scared him, and that made the process happen so much faster. She managed to watch the light fade from his eyes before he could put a name on what was happening in his head when he looked at her. She noticed the nature of the blank stares he would be stuck in and deep down, she knew.

Tonight marks the third week since he broke her heart, and his guilt laced with longing is eating him alive. Because today was the 22nd of the month, day on which, every month without a miss, they would meet up one way or another to watch movies and gossip and catch up on lost time due to their busy schedules.

It had become a tradition since they were kids, Jude had to conceal football and school and ended up being able to spend less time with her. A June 22nd, she had voiced her worries of him forgetting her in the whole process, so he promised at least every month, she would get a night of his full undivided attention.

It was never just movies, some 22nd's were spent on her house's roof, stargazing while sharing terrifying thoughts about growing up, about feelings taking a meaning, others were spent driving around your hometown, signing along to their shared playlist.

But it always was on the 22nd. Twelve 22nd's a year, twelve nights to ensure their hearts were still each others.

Tonight's 22nd was the first one in eight years they weren't in each other's presence or on a videocall. On this 22nd, Jude decided he had to face his feelings. He was done hiding them and pretending this didn't affect him, he lost someone who was dear to him no matter who was to blame.

Coming home from practice, where his performance were mediocre at best, and ended in his coach voicing his worries about his mood and its affect on his stats lately, Jude was worn off.

Turning his keys in the door lock, his eyes fell down on the red phone cabin keychain he reluctantly kept after she forced him to. He had playfully refused to do so at first, claiming this was too much of a tourist thing to even just buy, let alone display on his keys. But she had argued that this would be a fond way to remember every place they had traveled to.

Not realizing he had been staring at the keys lost in thoughts for a few minutes, not making any moves to enter, a soft voice got him out of this haze.

"Jude, is that you?" He heard his girlfriend ask from the other side of the door, voice uncertain and fear audible

"Yes, yes it's me darling. Sorry about that I kinda zoned out", Jude rushed to explain while opening the door, noting how scary hearing the quiet sound of keys fumbling into the lock would've been from her point of view.

He stepped into his house, immediately face to face with his lover, whom he engulfed into a bone crushing hug almost as quickly.

"Today's the 22nd" he mumbled into her hoodie "It sucked, 'm feeling like shit and I did bad at practice"

One thing he made sure to do with any partner of his, was to make sure they both felt safe enough to share any thought, not wanting to hold the weight of any information by themselves. Therefore, he had told her everything about his feeling about his ex best friend, how much he missed her and everything about their moments ; including the 22nd tradition.

"Yeah, i figured you would- not do bad at practice, feel like shit i meant" she answered while playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, simultaneously rubbing comforting circles into his back.

"I just- it's so frustrating. I'm the one who broke things off, I got the fucking good side of things and here I am whining about it.", squeezing her body harder, Jude tried another way to convey the emotions that invaded every cell of his body, feeling like words aren't enough. Before he could continue, she interrupted his rant.

"Jude, hun, we talked about this. You did break things off but it was needed, even she could tell things weren't the same anymore. But she was your best friend, shit like that hurts even if it was the best option at the time", this conversation was held almost every day, he was convinced his feelings were not justified because of the way he handled the situation.

"Yeah, I know, my feelings are valid and all this bullshit, doesn't mean it doesn't feel unfair" he moved from the embrace to take his shoes off, focusing on the task to avoid his lover's eyes "I mean, I miss her so much and it's so selfish considering she's probably in her head overthinking the authenticity of every moment we ever spent together, I'm literally a piece of shit". His shoe laces weren't cooperating, seemingly in sync with his conflicting emotions. With a groan, he gave up, throwing himself on the floor with his back on the door, his head resting on it, looking up the ceiling.

She gently crouched down next to him, rubbing his thigh in hopes to calm him down with the soothing movement. "I won't lie and say she's thriving right now, because let's face the truth, it definitely destroyed her-", at this statement, Jude banged his head on the door, "-but. But it was a shitty situation that needed to be dealt with in a shitty way. You missing her is not you being selfish, get that out of your pretty head."

Now on her knees beside him, she brought her other hand on his cheek, nudging him to make eye contact with her. Her gaze was full of empathy for his internal struggle, understanding his part, but also seeing hers. "Did you-" she stopped for a second when he finally looked back at her, eyes glossy, "Did you think about reaching out to talk to her? I'm aware you don't want to do it because you're scared she'd come back and end up hurting more. But. If not for you, do it for her? You haven't seen her since you broke things off, and she didn't even get the chance to talk, she probably is dying to find closure in a way"

"You're probably right, she deserves it. I'm just not even sure she'd want to meet up though. I wouldn't want to see someone who is as much of a dickhead as I am. Good motives or not, I did this badly." Jude did not lack self awareness concerning this situation. It's because he knows her so well that he knew the words he used would wound her deeply, although unintentionally.

Voice barely above a whisper, he shamefully admits, "Sometimes, I don't even want her to get closure. God that sounds so bad but. I don't want her to forget about me, about us. 10 years of friendship is a fucking long time, I don't want her to wipe this off her memory because I was an asshole"

Not even bothering to correct him, and uselessly try to convince him he isn't an asshole, she instead continued, "Please, talk to her, she probably doesn't want 10 years worth of memory to be tainted by this ugly night. And it's been due, for both of your sake." She felt helpless in front of her boyfriend's misery, and would do anything to help it be less intense and all consuming. "Don't let her spend her first 22nd in eight years all alone, thinking you hate her", slowly detangling his shoe lace and tying it back the right way, she moved to kiss his forehead. "Be patient and let her time to voice her thoughts, yeah?"

He stood up, and took his time to take the woman in front of him in, he felt incredibly lucky this exact second. Any other woman would be fuming with jealousy at the thought of their man going to see their ex-girlfriend that they've known for half their life. He hated to think that getting her had to come with losing his best friend. "Okay, yeah, okay i'm going then. I appreciate you so much for this, thank you for understanding."

a/n : you guys : "part 2 w reader living her best life n Jude wanting her back!!"

me : "how about no?" i actually wrote about 6 different start to this but it always felt off, knowing how brutally Jude left reader?

[to-the-stars8]

Reviving Love

Jason Todd x Reader Chapters AO3

Chapter 10

Oh, my life is changing every day, in every possible way…

When Jason approached your door he heard that familiar song that brought back two vivid memories. 

The first memory was the day he was supposed to help the art club paint the background for the school play. When he had walked into the auditorium with a basket of supplies, Bruce had insisted he bring it, and the song had been blaring full blast with a chorus of out-tune voices singing long. Yours’ among them. As he approached the stage, he finally saw you. You were knelt next to a huge wood tree, paintbrush in hand, and singing along to the lyrics. 

And, oh, my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems—Never quite as it seems

He remembered suddenly feeling flush and stumbling to get all the words out of his mouth. All at once, he just found you so incredibly pretty. 

The second time he had heard that song was his first year of high school, the autumn right before he died. It was homecoming and, after some begging since he was technically grounded, Bruce had let him go. Jason made a point not to tell you so it could be a surprise when he showed up. He found you standing off to the side looking heartbroken. When your eyes met it felt like one of those stupid high school romance movies. Where the room stopped and was drowned in a pink light with roses. When you kissed him he remembered how your breath smelled like cinnamon and your eyes sparkling in the lights. 

Now, as he stood at your front door, he felt that same rush of feelings that made everything dizzy. Luckily, when you answered it brought back some of the senses he had lost while reminiscing. As you welcomed him in, the song still played. 

I know I’ve felt like this before, but now I’m feelin’ it even more—Because it came from you...

“I’m sorry,” You said, walking past him to turn off the speaker. “I was a little lost in my tunes.”

“No worries, I like that song,” Jason admitted. 

You turned to him, smiling. “You do?”

“Yup. I…danced with my prom date to that song.” It was a stretch of the truth, but the last thing he wanted was to connect the dots any further.

“Oh! I danced with my homecoming date to that song, too! I guess it’s pretty popular at school functions,” You laughed and motioned him to the kitchen.

That had been the first time you had referred to him, well the younger him anyway. When he entered the kitchen, you were leaning over a pot of some boiling pasta. Next to it was some sauce that he could only assume you had made from scratch with all the spices, herbs, and other things cluttering the counter. 

“Do you mind trying some of this?” You asked, turning to look at him with a spoon in your hand. 

Nodding, he stepped closer and put his lips to the spoon. It was awful, and he found it hard to tell you it sucked—Unfortunately, his face gave away his feelings. You laughed and it was beautiful. 

“I admit, I’m not the greatest of cooks,” You said, putting the spoon down. “Do you cook?”

“I do, so maybe I could give you some pointers?”

You grinned. “Please?”

Everything you did was so sweet, and he was sure you weren’t even doing it on purpose. With every mistake you made or everyone he made, you laughed it off. You made the whole situation of essentially being the worst cook ever into something fun. You were kind enough to open your home to him, the worst person alive.  

You were inching another forkfull of pasta towards his mouth, and, before he even entertained the idea of taking a bite, he said, “You know, if you keep feeding me, I’ll just keep coming back.”

The way you smiled gave away that he had said something good. Bashfully, you responded, “Well, what if I was trying to do that? Have you come back, I mean.”

Instead of saying anything, Jason took a bite of the pasta as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down at you. You took the hint and looked away so he wouldn’t see your blush. As you stirred the pasta a few more times, you wondered if he could hear how loud your heart was beating. You felt like an awkward teenager again. 

“Um, we should eat,” You said, not sure what else to do as you moved around Jason to get to the bowls in the cabinet. “Or else I’ll be spending all night forking food into your mouth.”

“I wouldn’t complain—Hold on, let me get those,” He said, reaching above you to grab the bowls on the top shelf. He put one hand on the counter next to you, encasing you in, and pressing right up against your back to reach for the plate. As you sucked in a breath, you could smell him. Jason smelled of cigarette smoke and mint, an odd but welcoming combination. 

As he put the bowls down, Jason stopped as you turned around. He hadn’t realized just how close you were, only mere inches from your lips, and he could have swooped down to seal in his feelings. Yet, he didn’t. You looked up through your lashes, eyes going to his lips, but made no move to kiss him. 

“I should…” You trailed off, hoping he would do something. 

A quick image flashed in Jason’s mind, one with you bent over the counter and him whispering just how pretty you were into your ear. As soon as the image came into his mind, he backed off. Smacking his face lightly when he turned away, he pulled his thoughts from his little head. He couldn’t get over how shallow it was to think of you in such a way, especially when couldn’t take that final step. It was too much, and he was terrified to be a disappointment to you since he had little to no experience.

You didn’t let him get away this time, though. You stepped around him, your fingers gingerly pushing his cheek to look at you, before stepping closer to him. He could feel your body press against his, and he had to think of every disgusting thing he had ever seen to not get hard. He tried focusing on the music he had insisted you turn on. This time, you looked down at his lips and then back up at his eyes, wanting him to know how you felt. 

“I know,” You began, and Jason could smell just how sweet you were. “You want to take things slow, and I respect it—but, please, don’t tease me like this.”

“I…” Jason tried to find some excuse, but he couldn’t. Quickly, he said, “I’m sorry.”

You grinned, leaning up to press a ghost of a kiss to his cheek. “I hope this is okay?”

“Yes,” He breathed. 

You smiled as you pulled away just enough to remember himself. You reached up, eyes not breaking away from his to make sure no lines were being crossed, to fix a bit of his shirt that had become wrinkled. “Do you think I’ll bite?”

“Maybe, can never be too sure in this city.”

You giggled. “I promise you I won’t. Unless you ask.”

Jason smiled and he saw you blush. He could do this, he thought, he could be with you. Maybe, he could figure out how to be good enough for you, too. In the background, he could hear Dreams playing again. 

Then I open up and see the person falling here is me—A different way to be.

[humblequestvinyl]

just married

JUST MARRIED, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE 'ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT' SERIES

SUMMARY: after leaving LA, y/n flies to nashville, reflecting on her marriage with eddie, staring at the pictures of the two on their wedding day, wondering how they went from love, to just married.

inspired by just married by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase intentional! wc: 1.07k

warning: mentions of sex (no smut), divorce, swearing, marriage problems, brief alcohol mention.

a/n: THIS IS SO SHORT I AM SO SORRY BUUUT! i am so excited about this series, and im SO SO SO excited to write the next chapter !!! 

“SO YOU AND EDDIE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE HE WAS COMING HOME LATE?”

“i’m sure that there was a good reason for the fact that he was coming home late. there has to be.”buck tried to reason with the girl, and she shook her head slightly as she fixed the glasses that were on top of her head, “you two could’ve worked that out!”

“it was more than that buck.”she whispered, trying everything she could not to cry, “there was more than just that buck, we haven’t been on the same page for years.”

“y/n, you and eddie are the only thing that makes sense in my life. if the two of you break up, nothing in this world makes sense.”buck stressed, and y/n stood in front of him, with her hands shaking.

“buck the only reason i’m in LA is to sign the divorce papers. our marriage started to fall apart years ago.”she tried to tell him, but buck couldn’t accept it, “it started 10 months after we got married.”

—

(ONE MONTH BEFORE.)

“I WROTE A NEW SONG.”

y/n announced as she sat down with her producer brynn, who gave the girl a look as the h/c girl sat on the floor of the studio,  “i was looking at the old wedding pictures i had up in the apartment last night and started writing.”

“what’s the lyrics?”brynn questioned, before y/n pulled out her phone, and opened up her notes app, grabbing the lyrics.

“i don’t think i lied when i said i wanted that life.”she started, tapping her fingers against the ground, with her wedding band still in plain view, “maybe i was too young to understand what i wanted at all.”

“but baby it was true, with all that i knew, it felt like forever that december two.”she went on, not daring to glance up, knowing her bloodshot eyes would give away everything, “a fairytale start, with us crossing our hearts, we rode off in a car that said “just married.””

she stopped herself after the first verse, before clearing her throat and pushing her beanie down on her head more, “the rest of the lyrics are a bit rough and have to be cleaned up if we’re able to do that today.”

“yeah of course.”brynn nodded, before grabbing out a notebook and a pen, helping the girl fix up the lyrics, before they had quickly moved onto creating a sound, one that reminded the h/c girl of a wedding song.

“i don’t know what i’m supposed to do with my wedding dress now.”y/n’s voice rasped as they took a little break, and brynn looked at the girl with such sadness in her eyes, knowing exactly what the girl was going through.

“if you do anything with this song, either releasing it as a single or even have a music video for it, wear your dress in it.”brynn suggested, and the singer shrugged, picking at the rug of the studio floor, “it’s a gorgeous dress, and you can create better memories with it.”

“i feel bad about wanting out knowing chris is going to get caught in the middle of all of this.”she whispered, feeling tears threatening to spill as she thought about the boy who she adored, “i just couldn’t stay there any longer. i couldn’t continue killing myself over a marriage that was one-sided.”

“and you shouldn’t have to.”brynn reassured the girl, grabbing her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze, “in this instance, you have to put yourself first, and if leaving is the solution, then so be it.”

“chris will forgive you.”brynn told her, causing y/n to look up at her, “i’ve met the kid. he will forgive you.”

after a bit, y/n got up wordlessly and walked into the studio with the notebook, giving it one shot to sing the entire song without crying, which is something she hadn’t been able to do yet. once she got through the first part of the song, she looked up at brynn who gave her a reassuring smile.

“long distance text, make-up-for-time sex, tired of asking when i’ll see you next.”she sang, with flashes of memories from when she would constantly text eddie, asking when she would be able to see him next, the endless booked flights that he constantly missed to go and see her, “i’m too mad to fight, so i’ll stare and cry at the picture of you, and me wearing white.”

“just married.”

“but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and keeping our problems buried.”she went on, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces, just like a plate would after it had been dropped onto the ground, “no i wasn’t strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight i carried.”

“yeah it was love, then it was just married.”

flashes of her wedding went through her mind, with the vivid taste of veuve they had drank as their celebratory drink on her taste buds. their vows ringing through her mind, always promising to stick by each other throughout everything.

everything little memory of the past five years tainted from her soon to be ex husband, and every little thing they had done together.

“but dammit i wish i wasn’t this ready, to undo i do.”she paused, swallowing hard, knowing she had one more verse left before she was finished with the song, “but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and getting divorced sounds scary.”

“but i’m just not strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight that i carried.”she admitted, playing with the strings of her hoodie, knowing she was at the finish line, “yeah it was love, it really was.”

“then it was just married.”

[ramspatula]

Arrowheads | Nya Smith x reader

I believe that there are things out there that want to hurt me. Will hurt me. That’s a thought I can’t get to ever leave my head. But she calms them. Only her.

Next part

I had never been to Ninjago city. Cole said it was too unsafe. I was a musician. Well a songwriter. A ghostwriter to be specific. I get paid to not leave my room and write lyrics for some big artist or little artist to take credit for. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to perform but stages weren’t a place for me to be. The world scared me. People scared me. It requires so much effort to live in the world. Especially as a girl. I needed to look perfect, act perfect, be perfect. And I wasn’t. I had too many flaws to count. My wardrobe doesn’t have a new outfit for everyday. I own more pyjamas than clothes. I talk better in rhyming words on paper than I do to people.

I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t scared. I’m not now. But too many ghosts walk around outside for me to be comfortable. Not literally. That was years ago. And in stixx. And that was the last time I saw my brother. Granted, he was older. But after mom died and Dad drank himself into sobbing onto his music sheets, I thought we were closer. I understand he raised me. Not a job for a grieving 14 year old boy. Not a job for any teenager to be raising a horribly paranoid 8 year old. I was almost 9. Nether less, Children shouldn’t be raising children. I never got over that paranoia. It grew. It grows inside me even now. After the second round of snakes. Not the serpentine. The one who had fire powers. I covered my apartment windows in newspaper and bought 3 locks for my door. I called Cole in tears for over 4 hours. He didn’t pick up once. After all that, I got a message 4 days later, asking me if everything was okay. We called for 10 minutes before he had to go. He sounded tired and exhausted the whole time. Maybe I was too much. I had grown use to the thought he might resent me. That he wasted the rest of his youth raising me and comforting me through everything before Dad sent me to a programme in Jamankai for young music protégés after he had mailed in my notebook of lyrics and video recording of me playing various instruments and singing. All lessons he made me take. I was 11, almost 12. Cole was 18 and never came home after I left. The programme led to me getting in to a songwriting degree at 16. And last year I graduated. On the day of that snake attack. The fire one. Cole promised to be at my graduation just outside ninjago city. He lived there. He was the only reason I went. He promised to come on the stage with me if I needed him to. He didn’t turn up. Answered none of my calls. Until 4 days later with his infamous everything okay message. Later I got an ‘I’m sorry’. So a year later, I decided I’m tired. I would go to ninjago city. Talk to him myself. That’s what I was doing right now. I decided writing songs about reuniting and rebuilding relationships was not the therapeutic release I needed. It was to see my brother, now 28, as an adult, 21. I deserved to know why he treated me this way, I deserved to not be caged in my room. To see the world I feared so much. Even if the thought of the train ceiling collapsing in on me was the only thought I had right now. Luckily, the train wasn’t too busy but barely anyone lived in Jamankai these days. I might even see a ninja in ninjago. Or a dragon. I hope at least. As long as I am far away from wherever they are headed. I had his address, and I would be there, tonight! Maybe this afternoon if I sped walk.

I hate myself. This was an awful idea. He can hate me. I don’t care. I see a dragon and a ninja. And robots trying to kill me. Why did I do this? They may be on TV but that was close? Right? Ninjago city isn’t that big.

“Don’t look too worried darling, that was yesterday’s highlights. And about 50 minutes away from here.”

“Oh.” I said and walked away. I am utterly embarrassed. Why did I leave my room? Was he trying to be funny?

“Miss do you need a ride anywhere?” I looked back at him and continued walking. “No! It’s not like that! I’m Chen! I own a cab company- here’s my card-! There’s my company car-! I was just trying to do my job! I’m gay!”

“Oh, me too king.” I said and he nodded, with a smile.

“Actually?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay, well, front or back?” He asked and I looked at him weirdly before I realised he was talking about the car and not a weird way of asking me if I was a top or bottom.

“Front. I don’t like the back.” I said and he went to take my bag and I didn’t let him. The ratty bunny teddy I had since I was 2 was in clear view if I moved my jacket off the top and I couldn’t handle anyone seeing it. He nodded and just opened the passenger door for me.

“Where are you going?” Chen asked and I paused before telling him.

“Here.” I said and showed the address in my notes, he frowned before nodding.

“That’ll only cost a 20.” He said with a smile but I didn’t share it. Any money out was money I wouldn’t see again for a month. And I hadn’t paid my water yet.

We sat in silence whilst he played a long playlist of purely Azealia banks. I recognised some songs. And some lyrics. Although I’m sure I hadn’t wrote for her.

“Not much of a talker?” He said and I looked up at him.

“This is the first time I’ve left the house in 3 months.” I said and he nodded, surprisingly understanding.

“My mom had agoraphobia. I get it. I’m proud of you for even getting out at all. She hasn’t left the house in 4 years. The great devourer swallowed her coworkers in front of her and then when the time twins happened she got jumped by all those mini snakes and almost strangled to death so… I should not be telling you this!” I stared at him wide eyed.

“I think I might have agoraphobia…” I said and he nodded.

“Well… uhm. Just stay away from the main part of the city. It’s still pretty levelled from the sons of Garmadon but it’s every new villains favourite part. I’m taking you well out to the outskirts so… actually I’m surprised you even got a train into the city. It’s basically just forests and one blocked off area where a boarding school used to be but crumbled after the stone warriors.” Chen said and I nodded.

“So nothing that can kill me?” I said and he nodded.

“Nothing ever happens there. People don’t even call it part of ninjago city with how barren it is.” My nerves slowly calmed. Emphasis on slowly.

We parked in an empty car park with 3 beat, old cars and one truck that lucked equally beat. We both got out and Chen looked around calmly. Like he hadn’t been here in ages. I immediately called Cole. 1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings. 5 rings. Voicemail. I sighed. Chen looked at me worriedly. Why would Cole give me a fake address? I sighed before debating to myself. I scrolled down. Well I didn’t have to. I only had 5 contacts. And two were my landlord and the building maintenance man. I tapped on the ‘Pearl (Cole’s girlfriend)’ contact. Were they even still together? I rung anyway. 1 ring, 2 rings, 3 wings…

“Hello?” She didn’t sound too happy.

“Uhm- hi… I’m uh-“ how the hell did I speak.

“Who is this?” She asked and I stuttered before getting my words out.

“I’m Y/n Brookstone. I’m Cole’s sister, he said he lives here but, I’m staring at an empty parking lot-“

“-Wait- Cole’s sister?!” She asked and I nodded.

“Yes, Y/n Brookstone, is this Pearl?” I asked and she took a moment before responding.

“Yes. What- sorry I didn’t catch your name, what was that?” She asked and I repeated myself again.

“Y/n Brookstone.” I said and I heard her sigh.

“That’s not Cole’s sister’s name.” She said and I froze. Yes it was?

“No, that’s my name- I have ID! I can prove it-!” I immediately defended.

“I don’t know what sick prank call this is- I get that his family are upset we didn’t invite them to the our wedding but this is- this is weird.” Pearl said and I froze.

“Cole’s married?” I asked and she sounded even more annoyed.

“Yes! To me! And if you were his sister you’d know my actual name and not just ‘Pearl’- anyone can know that!” She exclaimed and my insides tensed up. I didn’t want to argue with my brother’s apparent wife!

“That’s what he called you- he gave me your number! I have 5 contacts- I’ve tried calling him but he’s not answering-! Please! Is he there?!” I pleaded and she ignored me.

“5 contacts? That just gives burner phone! I don’t know you are- Cole’s sister’s name isn’t Y/n. And I’m not giving it to you! I’m going to block you.” She said and I let out an actual sob.

“No, please! I will send you my location! I am his sister! I don’t know what he said my name was but I wouldn’t have this address if it wasn’t me! He’s really big on privacy and security- you’d know that- but- please just let me talk to him. Is he there?!” I begged and I heard her scoff.

“No. I’m coming outside, and if you’re in that fucking parking lot-“ there was some commotion on the other line, “no it’s just some girl with a fake name, claiming to be Cole’s sister! She’s literally in the parking lot-!”

“End the call then.” It was another girl’s voice. She sounded very unbothered.

“No, please-! I’ve tried calling Cole- I wouldn’t bother you if I didn’t have to.” I said and she ignored me again.

“I’ll tell him you called.” She said.

“Just come outside- I can prove it-“ the line went dead. I stared at my phone in shock. Pearl already hated me and I hadn’t even met her yet. She made Cole so happy. And the one thing that makes him happy, hates me.

“Hey… do you have anywhere to stay?” Chen asked and I turned around quickly, I didn’t know he was still here. “I didn’t want to leave until I knew you were safe.” He said and I sobbed. He quickly hugged me and I held onto him. I had just met him and he was already comforting me.

“No…” i practically whispered.

“Are… are you- what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He asked and I had to look up to try and stop the tears.

“She hates me.” I said and he frowned.

“Who hates you?” He asked.

“My brother’s wife! And she makes him so happy- and I-“ he cut me off and separated from the hug.

“Well she sounds like an asshole then. C’mon, it’s starting to rain.” Chen said and we got back in the car.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

The monastery was unusually quiet. With the monks doing outdoors training, Wu’s barking orders couldn’t be heard. The monastery was, for once, all girls. And it was quiet. Misako was sat turning pages of her ancient scripture, Peach was nursing a headache that came from teaching over excited 6 year olds how to stay still for an hour, Cherry was busying herself trying to perfect her own nails. She had to give up getting her nails done after going into ninja-witness protections. Snowdrops was lingering somewhere in her own world of systems. Pixal was sentinel, probably with Snow in their world of digital beings. Pearl was stress-cooking, she had been thinking of the phone call since it had happened. And how she had been so rude and how the girl was so distressed.

“Try meditating, watching you stress like this is not helping my head.” Peach said, mug of some kind of tea pressed to her head.

“I’m sorry…” Pearl said but only stilled for a moment before pacing again. The curry she was making didn’t even get to bubble before it was being stirred again.

It went back to how it was, Peach had took to laying on the counter in this time. She still found it hard to sleep without Lloyd. Her dragon crooned lowly outside and she looked to the window where the eye of the dragon was visible. She smiled and the dragon raised its head again. Peace was nice. Quiet was nice. It was what everyone needed. But it never lasts long. Not in this home. To be a ninja was to be quieter than silence herself but to be a part of this family, was to be on the same volume level as a foghorn:

The bangs and clatter of ninjas coming home was undoubtedly recognisable. It was the same everytime. Groaning, complaining, whining, that all came from the men as they made their way to the living area. Pixal sprung to life again. Making Cherry jump and curse as she smudged her nails. Peach whined as she turned on her side. Pearl sighed as the familiar arms wrapped around her. She could almost ignore the grime and oder that came from the ninja when they had been on a three-week stake out. A kiss was placed on her temple and she smiled before the smell became too much and she pushed the large man off her.

“Smells good.” Cole said and she frowned.

“You don’t.” Pearl said which was backed up by Peach who made a noise of agreement.

“I’m talking about the food, you too.” He said and she smiled.

“It’s not done yet.” She said and smacked his hand that was reaching for the ladle. He laughed and put his hands up. Jay and Nya were next to come in. The recently separated fiancés were better than ever. Both relishing in not having to suffer their deteriorating relationship anymore and Nya’s confession. She wasn’t into men. Not anymore at least. She was ashamed it took her this long to realise that men were not it for her at all. Jay didn’t hold it against her. He took it better than anyone could. He loved Nya but even he could admit that their love for each other had changed. They were friends and they cared for each other. But not in the way they once had. It was refreshing to see both of them so free and happy even after a 3-week stake out.

“Who wants patrol tonight?” Cole asked to which the ninjas in the room groaned. “No one takes it, Lloyd will decide.” He added to which another groan followed.

“I’ll take it. I wasn’t really involved in that last fight.” Nya said to which they both thanked her.

“Did I just hear I don’t have to do patrol?” Kai asked, Zane in tow. Snowdrops physical form appeared to hug Zane in a way that no one was sure was possible with her form. Somehow physical but not?

“I don’t care as long as I’m not moving tonight.” Peach said.

“Well, you’re in luck! Lloyd stayed behind to check everything was still running smoothly! Won’t be back till tomorrow!” Cole said and Peach sighed.

“Perfect.” She said, unamused.

“Anything happen whilst we were gone?” Jay asked.

“Pearl’s been getting prank calls.” Peach said to which Pearl stiffened.

“What?” Cole laughed. Cherry swerved a kiss from Kai in his grimy state to which Kai reacted in outrage.

“You haven’t seen me in three weeks-“

“It was one, and some girl claiming to be your sister- she was outside and all. Used a fake name too-“ Pearl ranted and Cole froze.

“What-?” He said and Pearl nodded.

“I know-! But her name wasn’t Papita! It was some Y- thing, I can’t remember exactly-“ She said and Cole grabbed her, gently, by the shoulder.

“When was this?!” He questioned, alarm in his eyes.

“A couple hours ago- Cole!” He rushed out the room and the monastery. Pearl turned in shock.

“What just happened?!” Jay asked and Peach sighed.

“I think Pearl may have just left Cole’s sister out in the rain in a city she doesn’t live in.” Peach said, still unmoving.

“What?! Why would you do that?!” Jay asked.

“I didn’t know-! It wasn’t the name I was told-! Her name wasn’t Papita!” Pearl tried to defend herself.

“Oh my god- Papita is a nickname!” Jay said to which Pearl became speechless. “Her actual name is- uhm… Kai?!” Jay asked and Kai sighed.

“I met her a few years ago, it’s Y/n.” Kai said and Pearl’s hand found its way to her mouth, fast.

“Who’s Y/n?” Cherry asked.

“Cole’s sister.” Kai told her and she nodded.

“Where could she have gone?!” Pearl asked and turned immediately to Snowdrop and Zane.

“Her in-phone tracker says that she is in ninjago city.” Zane said and Pearl nodded, trying to process everything. How could she leave her sister-in-law out in the cold? What a great first impression.

“We have to find her!” Pearl said to which Peach finally sat up.

“This is bad.” Peach said and slid off the counter. “Let me know what happens.” She said, walking off and turning to the side to let Cole rush past on her out.

“My phone! Where’s my phone?!” Cole questioned.

“Bedside table!” Pearl said and followed him.

“I’m so sorry-! I didn’t know-“ Pearl apologised, frantically. Cole cursed at the dead phone and immediately put it on charge.

“She’s out there, all alone, in a city she doesn’t know-! This is all my fault! I should have been here.” Cole said, more to himself.

“You were on a mission-!” Pearl tried to justify but Cole ignored her.

“We were planning on coming home early- if I just hadn’t agreed to check out the east side-!” He cursed himself as he waited for the phone to have enough charge to turn back on.

“It’s my fault- I should’ve gone out there! I should’ve heard her out-!” Pearl said and Cole turned to her.

“Why didn’t you?” He asked.

“I don’t know- I just- with everything I thought it was what to do! I didn’t want to risk anything!” She said and Cole shook his head.

“How do you not know your sister-in-law’s name!” Cole asked and Pearl stumbled for an answer.

“You always call her Papita, I thought it was her name! I haven’t heard your call her anything else.” Pearl said and Cole sighed.

“It’s a nickname! It means little potato!” Cole said and Pearl shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was doing what’s right. Clearly, I wasn’t.” Pearl said and Cole sighed again. The phone lit up and he immediately unlocked it and scrolled to his contacts. Hitting one specific contact.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

Chen took me to some diner. It was near here and we were the only two there. He had ordered us some water and had been speaking with the man behind the bar for a very long time. I couldn’t believe what had happened. Giving me a fake address? His wife yelling at me? He’s clearly been hiding a lot from me. I wondered if Dad knew. Pearl said that his family knew but I didn’t? I was part of that family. I might have to call Dad.

I tried not to jump when the drinks got sat down in front of me. Chen smiles and I had only just noticed the man had followed.

“This is my boyfriend, Reece!” Chen said and I smiled.

“I’m Y/n.” I said and the man smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” He said, politely. I nodded.

“Anyway, we were just wondering if you had any plans tonight, anywhere to go?” Chen asked and I shook my head.

“I don’t have a ticket back to Jamankai for another couple days.” I said and they nodded.

“Want to stay at ours? Until then, hotels around here are quite expensive.” Reece asked and I looked at both of them before nodding.

“Please…” I said and they smiled.

“Our apartment is above the diner so, you can put your stuff up there if you want?” Chen asked and I took a moment to consider how dangerous this is. They were strangers. Gay. But still strangers. They could kill me. We’ve been here for 20 minutes and no one has come in the diner since we sat down.

“Okay…” I said and Reece smiled before leading me to a door around the side of the kitchen which just led to a case of stairs. Reece unlocked the door and let me go through first.

“It’s not much but we don’t have much.” Reece said and I nodded. “The guest bedroom is this way!” He said, cheerily. He held the door open again for me and I looked around the room. There was a bed and a discarded vinyl player with some vinyls.

“There’s so many…” I said, not touching them, scared to get fingerprints on them.

“Oh yeah, Chen had a phase of being really into Jazz. Can you tell he was a theatre kid? Anyway-! We keep them in here because we don’t really use it anymore.” Reece explained and I nodded before the Vinyl next to the player caught my attention.

‘Lou Brookstone’s classics’

I smiled. I hadn’t seen any of my Dad’s albums in a long time. I used to love them. When Cole left and I came home for a few years, my Dad and I bonded over music and his stories of his band and his few classical hits. That life had since been forgotten and now he was a vocalist trainer and a piano teacher. I’d never seen my Dad look so proud and happy as I did when I told him what I had chosen to do my degree in. Those years were still rough. Especially without Cole. Dad had finally started sobering more and had joined Alcoholics Anonymous. I went with him sometimes. He said I reminded him of my mother. One night he slipped and got drunk again, he called me Lilly. That was my mother’s name. I was gone the next day. I went to stay in the college dorms. I should call him. He wasn’t a bad father. At least, he never had bad intent and he tries now. He sends me random musician’s biographies with notes and tags all over it for me to read and maybe gain inspiration.

“I’m going to call my Dad.” I said and Reece nodded.

“Was he a big fan of Jazz too?” He asked and I smiled.

“He’s Lou Brookstone.” I said and he gasped before nodding and walking away.

1 ring- line connected.

“Hello mon chou, it’s lovely to hear from you. Is everything alright?” His words were sincere.

“Hey… I’m in ninjago city.” I said and he made a noise of concern.

“Oh, that’s rather spontaneous.” He said and I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see it.

“I know… I came to see Cole.” I said.

“Ah, I see. How is he? I haven’t heard from him since he told me he married that girlfriend of his. Pearl. Very fierce woman, have you met her?” Dad asked and I paused for a moment. “Mon chou?”

“Uhm, not officially. He wasn’t home and I only spoke to Pearl over the phone… I’m at a friend’s house.” I said and he made a teasing noise.

“A girl friend’s house?” He asked and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“No… they’re guys. And gay.” I added quickly before he freaked.

“Okay… is everything alright? You don’t usually call me like this.” Dad pointed out and I sighed.

“I didn’t know Cole was married… and Pearl didn’t know who I was.” I said and he went silent.

“Your brother didn’t tell you? He- he said you and Pearl were going to meet a long time ago. At your graduation?” He pointed out and I tried not to cry.

“Cole didn’t come to my graduation. Neither did Pearl… you had food poisoning from that salmon place.” I said and he sighed.

“I’m sure your brother didn’t leave you for no reason… his job requires him to be on call at all times, you know that.” Dad told me and I shook my head.

“I don’t even know what Cole does other than security.” I said and he sighed.

“I see… well, I’m sure your brother will contact you soon. He’s not one to leave you worrying.” Dad said and I nodded.

“Okay, love you.” I said and I heard Dad chuckle.

“I love you too, mon chou.” The phone line disconnected and I sighed. I stared out the window for a while until a blue, massive dragon flew past it and made me scream. On the back of it, sat the water ninja. 4 more dragons followed and I couldn’t help the way my breathing sped up. I thought the ninja would be more in the main part of the city? I pulled out my headphones quickly and shut the door that had no lock. I wedged my bag between the door and the wardrobe so no one would be able to get in. I put my headphones in quickly before laying back down.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

My phone buzzing made me open my eyes and freeze. I slowly raised my phone to look at the contact. Cole. I debated answering it. I really did. But then I remembered why I had came here in the first place.

“Hello?” I said and I heard a sigh of relief.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m- I was at work! I didn’t have my phone on me- are you okay?!” He asked and I paused.

“Yes.” I said, simply.

“Okay that’s good, where are you?! Ninjago city really isn’t the safest place, Papita.” Cole said and I took a deep breath in. Clearly.

“I’m at a friend’s.” I said and he went silent.

“Friend, what friend?” Cole asked and I paused.

“Chen and Reece.” I said and he didn’t sound happy.

“I’ve never heard of them- you’ve never told me anything about them.” Cole said and I looked out the window.

“I met them today.” I said and he made a noise of distress.

“Today?! And you’re staying there?!” He asked and I hummed in agreement. “Y/n, this is… that’s not safe. I’ll pick you up, see if we can find a hotel or I can see if I can clean up a room here- just-“

“I’m okay here. They’re nice.” I said and he started to sound annoyed.

“It doesn’t matter if they’re nice, you don’t know them!” He exclaimed and I laid back down. “They could be hiding anything from you!”

“Why didn’t you tell me you got married?” I asked and he went silent. “I’m not a kid anymore, Cole. You don’t have to protect me anymore. You don’t have to hide anything from me.” I said and he sighed.

“It’s not like that… I honestly forgot. It wasn’t like a ceremony or anything, we exchanged rings, we haven’t signed any papers yet! Just in traditional terms, we are married.” He said and I sighed.

“This is the first time I’ve left the house in 3 months.” I admitted and I heard his breath hitch.

“You don’t call, you don’t message and if I get a reply sometimes it’s not for months.” I said and he sounded even more stressed.

“It’s my job-! Sometimes I’m gone for months! I don’t mean to-! I’d love to see you again! See you more even!” He said and I looked to the street outside. That noodle stand looked really good.

“I haven’t seen you for 4 years. You’re like a ghost, Cole.” I said and Cole sighed.

“Can I please come and pick you up?” He asked but I ignored him.

“Why would you give me a fake address?” I asked.

“It wasn’t fake-! You have to go into the forest-!”

“Why didn’t Pearl know my actual name? Why don’t I know hers?” I questioned.

“I don’t know- I thought you both knew! I was wrong, okay! I want you both to meet. I want to see you. I want to know you’re safe. Let me pick you up.” He pleaded.

“I’ll message you my address tomorrow. If you’re not there, I’m going home and not my house! I’m moving back in with Dad.” I said and I heard the way Cole took a sharp breath in.

“Okay, fair enough. Send me it tonight and I’ll be there by 9am latest.” He said and I nodded.

“Fine…” it went awkwardly silent.

“Love you, Flump.”

“Bye.” I hated that nickname. I hung up the phone and rubbed my temples. I could smell that noodle stand. I’m getting it. With the last of my confidence, I will get it.

The noodle stand was actually further than it looked. And I chose a horrible time to go. It was getting dark, really dark, and the line was going down very slowly. Finally it was my turn.

“You’ll have to wait 10 minute, the next batch of noodles isn’t ready yet.” I nodded and sat on a bench. Directly under a street lamp. It was really dark now. And slowly getting colder. I looked up to see the man still stirring noodles and sighed. I looked up again to see him making a container for me and I shot up and watched as he put the sauce on top.

“4.65” He told me and I nodded.

“I’ll have what she’s having, it smells really good Pablo. I bet you can rival Chen’s noodles now.” That was a woman. I handed him the money and stepped to the side for her to move in. He put her noodles together quicker than I’d seen him server anyone. It wasn’t until I looked up did I notice that the woman was actually a ninja. She reached into one of the pouches on her gi.

“No! No! You know you don’t pay.” Pablo said and she shook her head.

“C’mon, I’ve been away for 3 weeks and I’m missing out on Pink’s curry which it really good. Let me pay.” She said and the guy shook his head.

“No. Payment comes in saving all our lives and the city.” He said and I didn’t want to interrupt them to tell them I had no chopsticks. So I decided to turn away and walk back home. Except I was more or less walking to the bench again. I wasn’t expecting her to sit next to me a couple moments later. I looked up in shock. This was a real life ninja. I met her eyes before she handed me a pair of chopsticks. I smiled in thanks.

“So what’s a pretty girl like you doing wandering the streets at night like this? Fella done you wrong? Or just hunger?” She asked, enthusiastically and I took a moment to respond. Perplexed that one- a woman was talking to me, two- a ninja was talking to me.

“Hunger… Fellas aren’t really my thing.” I said and she nodded.

“Me either. Well, not anymore.” She said and held her noddles up to cheers mine and I did it, awkwardly, but we did it. She chuckled. Before pulling her mask up and over mouth, I looked away quickly. She laughed. “Don’t worry, you won’t know who I am just from my mouth.”

“Okay… feels weird.” I said and she smiled. “Did you really call me pretty?” I asked, not sure what she had said as I was more in shock.

“Yes, or no- did it weird you out?” She asked and I smiled, shaking my head.

“No, it was nice.” I said the water ninja smiled.

“Then yes. And I’m serious.” She whispered the last part and I smiled harder.

“You’ve got pretty lips…” I said, hoping it didn’t sound weird or suggestive.

“Really? You from around here?” Fuck. It did sound suggestive.

“I’ve never been to ninjago before, I saw your dragon earlier… it was cool. Really scary- but cool.” I said and she smiled.

“Her name is Tidal. I can introduce you two if you want?” She asked and I shook my head.

“No, I don’t think I can handle meeting a dragon right now. Sorry” I said and she chuckled.

“No hard feelings. Dragons are intimidating, especially Peach’s dragon. Her dragon is massive! And powerful. Took down half an army of onis on her own with him.” She said and I nodded.

“I forgot about the Onis.” I said and the water ninja nodded.

“That was a tough fight.” She admitted. “Were you affected by them?” She asked and I shook my head.

“No, I live in Jamankai but I do have 3 locks on my door.” I said and she nodded.

“Not a bad idea.” She told me and I looked up at her. “I’m not going to lie to you, you should head home. Tonight’s quiet but this city is so unpredictable and I don’t think I’d be able to console myself if I heard that your pretty face got hurt.” She said and I flushed, warmth spread across my face and I just hoped she couldn’t tell how flustered I was as she pulled the bottom of her mask back down.

“I’m nearly done.” I said and she frowned.

“Wow, I should call you nibbles. You almost ate that quicker than me.” She joked and I smiled.

“I don’t think nibbles suits me then.” I said she tilted her head in thought.

“No, but dustbin isn’t as cute.” She said and I laughed, actually laughed.

“Okay, what can I call you then?” There was something so easy about talking to someone in a mask.

“Anything but squirt. My brother still calls me that and he’s almost 30.” She told me and I laughed.

“My brother calls me little potato and little cabbage.” I said and she laughed.

“What?!” She asked, amused.

“I refused to eat cabbage when I was younger so he started calling me that to spite me.” I said and she laughed again.

“My brother- fire- just calls every kid that. He still calls Green it.” She told me and I nodded.

“I’m done.” I announced and put my box in the bin.

“Hey, can I walk you home? It’d just make me feel more comfortable knowing you got home safe.” She said and I nodded.

“I’m staying right there!” I told her to which she frowned.

“The diner?” She asked.

“My friends own it, they live above it.” I said and she nodded.

We mainly walked in comfortable silence until we stopped outside the diner. The walk seemed longer, like we were both trying to stretch the moment.

“I guess I’ll see you around then, Nibbles.” The water ninja said to me and I smiled.

“See you later, squirter.” I said and she laughed.

“Squirter?!” She asked, dumbfounded.

“Because of the whole water thing…” I tried to explain before it hit me what is sounded like. “Oh no- not like that…” I tried to defend myself but she waved me off. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Just took me by surprise. Anyway, thank you for turning a boring patrol into a good night. I’ll be thinking of you and your cute face tonight.” She said and I smiled.

“Not that I could see your face, but you have a pretty mouth and eyes.” I said and she met my eyes. She looked smug. She winked and my face fell. This was real.

“Thank you, no one has ever said that before.” She said before disappearing into the dark alleys. Was that flirting? Did we flirt? Were we in love now? Why do I have the urge to ask her what we are?

“Did you just pull the water ninja?!” I heard a voice yell and I looked up to the see Reece and Chen, leaning out the window.

“Oh my god…” I said and rushed inside.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

It wasn’t unusual for Nya not to talk to anyone after patrol. It wasn’t unusual for most the ninja to be catching up on sleep at this time. However, it wasn’t usual for her to bump into Jay around the monastery. He was sat on the counter, bowl of cheerios in his hands. The box itself had a cartoon ninja on. She smiled as she went in pouring a bowl for herself.

“Long patrol?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, quiet actually. Almost boring.” She said and he laughed.

“Almost?” Jay asked, hinting something in his voice.

“Do you think it’s too soon? I mean… we were together for so long. Do you think it’s too early to even think about moving on?” Nya asked and Jay shook his head.

“No, I think it’s good.” He admitted, to her surprise. “I loved you, I really did Nya and not to say that I don’t still love you but it’s different. When we were good, we were great but… you were never as into me as I was to you, and now we know why. I don’t hold it against you. You shouldn’t hold it against yourself. You shouldn’t hold it against me.” He told her and she sighed.

“I don’t know why I feel so guilty, I was never taught what I am is wrong.” Nya told him and he nodded.

“Buts it’s not what you expect, think of for yourself. You’ve never looked at me the way you look at a girl and thats okay. We can still love each other without having a romantic aspect of our relationship. We’re family here, let’s just be family.” Jay said and Nya smiled.

“You’d be alright if started seeing someone?” Nya asked and Jay smiled.

“What if I’m already seeing someone? Would you be okay?” He asked and she laughed.

“Really?” Jay shrugged.

“I might be.” He said and she smiled.

“What’s her name?” Nya asked and Jay shook his head.

“No! No I’m not doing this! Because once you know, Kai knows and then Cherry knows and if Cherry knows, everyone knows!” Jay exclaimed and Nya nodded.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I won’t ask again.” She said and Jay smiled.

“I think these cheerios are expired.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

“Okay I have to pick Y/n up in like 20 minutes, Papita, in case you don’t know her actual name.” Cole announced to the team and Pearl rolled her eyes. “When she gets here, we’ve gotta act normal.” He announced and everyone protested.

“She doesn’t know you’re a ninja?!” Peach’s voice came out on top.

“No, and I don’t plan on telling her today.” Cole said.

“Not telling someone you love you’re a ninja? That always ends well.” Cherry commented to which Kai frowned.

“Even if we all act normal, how’d you suppose we hide the prophecies engraved in the walls? The frames of all of us in our gi? The senseis? The monks? The weapons? My dragon?!” Peach asked to which the dragon himself growled from outside.

“Lloyd was right about not keeping a dragon that can’t disappear by the way.” Kai said.

“Apologise, he saved your life.” Peach said.

“I’m not apologising to a dragon!” Kai argued.

“Apologise!” Peach demanded.

“No!” Kai protested.

“Apologise or I’m not talking to you.” Peach said and Kai shrugged.

“Don’t then!” Peach crossed her arms and faced away. “You’re not serious.” He said but she ignored him.

“I’ll be back in half an hour.” Cole said and kissed Pearl’s cheek before leaving.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

“Thank you for letting me stay.” I said, turning go to both men as a battered truck, the one from the car park, parked itself outside.

“Anytime.” Chen said with a smile.

“Let us know if you need anything.” Reece said and I nodded before heading outside. I hadn’t seen him in years. Would he be mad? Upset? Annoyed that I even came here? I didn’t tell him, is that a problem?

Cole rushed out the truck and before I could even get a word out he pulled me into a tight hug, I returned it awkwardly before he looked me up and down.

“Have you grown or is it just me?” He asked to which I shrugged.

“I don’t think so.” He took my bag and smiled. I didn’t return it and just got in the car with him.

“I’ve uh- Pearl told me everything- Dad also rang me. She’s really sorry and he’s- he sounds good.” Cole said and I nodded.

“Are you?” I asked, he nodded.

“I was going to ask you that, are you serious about moving back in with Dad?” Cole asked and I shrugged.

“I can’t live alone anymore.” I admitted. “It’s getting worse.” I told him and he sighed.

“I’m sorry I can’t be closer.” He said and I nodded. But were you?

“Why… why can’t you?” I had to think about whether I wanted to know the answer.

“It’s… complicated. If that word even sums it up. My job is unconventional and- I’ll explain everything! -but it’s just hard to find the time to come back.” He said and I nodded.

“What is your job?” I asked as we stopped at a traffic light. He turned to look at me.

“To protect those who can’t protect themselves.” He told me and I paused. What the hell did that mean?

“What?” I asked and he laughed. “Are you a police officer?” I asked.

“No!” He laughed. “I’ll explain everything when we’re inside. The others have made it extremely clear that they won’t cover for me.” Cole said and I frowned.

“Cover what?” I asked.

“You’ll see.” He pulled into the abandoned parking lot where I had been the day before. When we got out he gestured for me to follow him into the forest.

A monastery. There was a monastery inside the forest. There were bald people outside doing chores. Monks. This place was massive. I followed Cole inside as the monks called him ‘master Cole’. It was an upgrade from McCole. Which was his nickname during his teenage years due to the fact he ordered McDonald’s almost everyday. He opened the door for me and let me walk beside him as we went down the long hallway. There were paintings on the wall and ceiling, massive paintings and it took seeing the painting of a gold figure fighting a black dragon with smoke coming off it to realise that they were paintings of the ninja and famous battles. They were murals not paintings. I looked down, not wanting to admit what might be happening here. We stopped at an archway. I looked up to see a small kitchen and then to the side and the bottom of the room was a massive living area with couches, a TV, a gaming console and many people. There was a couple on the couch, a brunette with very well styled hair and a very pretty girl whose own hair looked like it is being taken better care of than a newborn baby. There was another boy and girl on the couch although they were sat well apart with the ginger playing with a controller whilst the other girl, hair tied up high on her head as her bangs fell in front of her face, framing it perfectly. She wore a loose vest, showing off her sculpted arms and scattered tattoos. Mainly in the ancient language. That was hot. Reluctantly, I looked away from her to the two girls in the kitchen. One was eating a bowl of cereal whilst the other pulled out a tray of cookies from the other. The first girl had few scars lingering her bare arms and what looked to be a burn on her forearm and a scar on her exposed neck that looked like a bite mark. She might be a ninja. Somehow, her face remained untouched. The other girl slammed the tray down, making me jump and focus on her again. She was more dressed up than the others, well I think the girl with very nice hair was actually wearing a juicy tracksuit but she made it look like loungewear rather than an expensive tracksuit.

“How do you not burn them?!” The cookie girl complained.

“It’s only burnt on the corners.” The scarred girl said.

“You’d know all about being burnt.” The cookie girl insulted, the scarred girl hit her on the head lightly with her spoon. “Did you just get milk in my hair?!”

“I raised a dragon, what’s your excuse?” Scarred girl clapped back and Cole cleared his throat. Gaining everyone’s attention. Did she just say she raised a dragon?!

“This is Y/n, or Papita, as you may know her as.” I noticed how Cookie girl’s eyes hardened at Cole. The room went silent.

“Hi.” I said, awkwardly.

“Hey.” Scar girl said. Putting her bowl down and coming near me. “Nice to meet you.” She said.

“You too, what’s your name?” I asked. Was this Pearl? What would she do if she knew I called her scar girl in my head?!

“Everyone calls me Peach, nice to meet you Papita.” She said and I nodded.

“Y/n’s fine.” I said and she smiled.

“That’s Cherry, thats Pearl ,who you may know, and Snowdrops is around somewhere. She’s always around. You’ll catch on soon enough.” Peach winked but I didn’t catch on. Not yet at least. Was that not their actual names?

“So what’s your actual name?” I asked and she smiled, I heard Cole stifle his laugh.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She said and walked away. The man with very good hair spoke up and I turned to them. Cherry was the one with really good hair. I knew good hair guy. I had met him before.

“Kai, if you don’t remember. Blabber mouth here is Jay and that’s Nya, my sister. Zane is around somewhere and Pixal is out right now. Lloyd should be home soon.” Kai filled me in and I nodded.

“Hi.” I said again, trying to avoid Nya’s eyes. She was staring hard at me. I turned to face Cole again who smiled.

“As you can tell, we all live together and work together. Lloyd’s the leader, Peach is his wife-“ I looked to Peach and watched as she disappeared in a pink, purple and peach haze that I had only seen on the news before and with the peach ninja. She appeared on the counter again, no bowl in hand this time. “-she’s special.” Cole said and glared, my own mouth hung in shock.

“Don’t be mad because I showed my party trick.” She said and Pearl smiled in amusement. It started to click. It shouldn’t have took a blonde man practically shoving past us clad in green to be my final push to realise everything. He stunk and had dried blood and mud on him and in his hair, the green clothing had been torn in places. He had a dual katana holster strapped to his back with actual katanas sheathed in. The walls looked like they were coming closer. He needed that many weapons for a reason? Was there a threat?

He apologised as he slid past, not noticing my impending panic. He dapped up Cole and leaned in to kiss Peach who didn’t look pleased after. She actually frowned in disgust.

“I’ve missed you too.” He said at her face.

“When was the last time you brushed your teeth?” She asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it- who’s this?!” He asked, pointing to me. Oh my god. This isn’t happening.

“Lloyd, meet Papita, my sister.” Cole said and Lloyd nodded.

“Nice to meet you, sorry I’m all dirty and everything. 3 week stake out.” Lloyd said like I was supposed to know what that meant. “Being a ninja is a lot less cleaner than you’d think.” He tried to joke but I’m pretty sure I had the thousand yard stare right now. Suddenly the green costume with katanas made sense. It wasn’t a costume. It was gi. A green gi.

“I can smell you from over here.” Cherry commented.

“You’re the green ninja?” I asked, well more stated.

“Who would’ve thought? Lloyd Garmadon.” Peach said and Lloyd rolled his eyes.

“You’re all ninja?!” I exclaimed. I looked back at Cole in alarm who looked away from me. Then I looked back at the others and Cherry looked at them all before breaking the silence.

“I’m not! But they all are.” She confirmed, she then hit Kai’s chest.

“Fire.” Kai raised his hand like it was an ice breaker game.

“Lightning.” Jay raised his hand next.

“I don’t need to say, do I?” Lloyd said, eating some multicoloured cereal with his bare hands out the box.

“Peach.” Peach and shrugged. Like it was obvious. I looked back to Cole.

“Earth.” He admitted, my eyes watered. What the hell was going on. Everyone looked towards Pearl.

“Pink. Who else would I be?” Pearl asked.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Cole asked. I felt ill. And my heart was racing. What the fuck was happening?

“Nya! You haven’t-“ Kai’s words distorted in my head as another person walked into the room. Well, what I thought was a person.

“Can someone please check my internal hatch, I believe there is something stuck in there I cannot see.” A tall, metal man said as he walked in the room and proceeded to open his stomach open like it was nothing. Only to reveal a bunch of wires and a few boxes that wires were coming in and out of. Safe to say, I passed out.

I am never leaving my house again.

[kingofangst]

A Senpai's Sacrifice

OKAY RIGHT NOW I AM IN MY FEELS OF ANGST AND SADNES. I AM COPING RIGHT NOW.

So here is a bittersweet one-shot I created, where surname-san makes a tough decision and sacrifice! While I incorporated some of the lyrics of Unravel by TK Ling (DIsclaimer: I do not own the rights to this song) to darken the mood. This has nothing to do with my Jujutsu Kaisen fanfic au: A Nexis's Peril, this is a totally different oneshot I wrote myself. Enjoy the derpession!

Characters: Itadori Yuji, Kugisaku Nobara, Mahito, past reader, past Satoru Gojo, reader-senpai, reader is gender-neutral

Warnings: Graphic violence, past bullying, that's about it

P.S: Made some edits when I noticed I saw some typos and I had to change it from "he" to "they" to make it gender-neutral. Sorry about that!

-------------------------------------------------------

There were...there are two Mahitos. That explains why Nobara damaged Mahito's soul, she fought a clone and used her resonance to Mahito's clone as an effigy to damage Mahito's soul-

Their blood freezes when the real Mahito switches places with his clone

"RUUUNNN!!! KUGISAKI!!!"

The pain in Itadori's voice made Surname-san recoil, but pales in comparison as they watch the real Mahito charge at Kugisaki who is in shock at the scene before her. Then everything went in slow-motion…

No...no no no no no no no no NO!

5

This wasn't how things were supposed to end...they didn't expect things to turn out this bad without Gojo-sensei…

Kugisaku...Kugisaki...Kugisaki...Kugisaki...KUGISAKI!!!

4

They can't afford to see their own kouhai, who they watched grow in the past months, this fiery and passionate girl of steel taking out two Special Grade curses with Itadori 5 weeks ago, die in front of them or Itadori who has already lost so much...from Shibuya's destruction...Nanami-sensei's death…

3

There's no place in this world that they would want more than to see their kouhais safe and happy, away from all of this...Okinawa sounds like a happier place to be in than here…

2

"Cursed Technique: Kyomu no Ten'i..." They manifest with their cursed energy, having their hands out, creating a sphere of black energy, getting lighter and lighter as they prepare themselves for their last stand…

1

"...Shin'en no Kokan!"

"You're a weird kid, you know that?"

"Huh?" They question, looking up at a classmate in their 4th grade science classroom, eyeing the other kid.

"I said you're weird...how are you even good at making things explode when you can't even make friends?"

Those were the words that stuck inside of 10 year-old Surname-san's head since the 4th grade. They weren't the most sociable kid, nor the funniest, nor the most popular. But they knew they were different from anyone else in that classroom and in the school. How does one explain to someone who is purely human that they can see curses at a young age?

Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo

Surname-san saw the green and purple curse swarming around the antagonistic kid's shoulders like a cobra, it's weird seven eyes staring back at their eyes. Of course, Surname-san didn't do much except leave, as the kid continued to shout and bully them as they walked away. School was horrible, life was horrible as a foster kid, they had no will or desire to even fix things. They thought they were cursed since birth.

Boku no naka ni da ga iru no?

A week after their hardships, a tragedy happened, one that happened in their school. The day that they lost their entire class and grade to a horrific curse…the very same one that was on the kid that bullied them…

Kowareta, Kowareta yo kono sekai de

The hideous, cobra-like curse, slithering towards them from corpse to corpse, taking one life after another while they watch the carnage before them, shivering in fear

Kimi ga warau nanimo miezu ni

Running through the bloodied hallways of the school while the curse was hot on their trail wanting to consume them and their soul, shouting eerily “you’re weird!” “you will never make friends!” “why can’t you just die?” the words are all too familiar, from the very voice of the boy that is now dead. Now they stood in a corner and trapped between a wall and the path of where the curse was, hissing with a maniacal grin. The individual felt scared, horrified and was the only one alive against this very strong, hideous being. 

Beings they have seen on a regular basis, the sheer malevolence and disturbance of them from humans. As the curse leaped forward and went in for the kill, the individual shielded their faces as if to not face the gruesome fate that awaited them, unknowingly producing black circles that shot out to the curse. Instead of hearing their flesh and bones crack, they heard thuds and sounds of pain yelps. They open their eyes to see a shocking sight before them. The curse, in pieces, held separately by black swirling voids, crying in pain before starting to vanish into thin air.

Kowareta boku nante sa iki wo tomete

They never knew they could produce such abilities from their hands. How on Earth did they do such a thing? The crashing of windows burst through, shattering on the floor, startling them when a tall figure with white hair, all dressed in black with shades lands on the floor, their feet crunching the glass that shattered. The male, looking between them and the now evaporating curse and the odd, circular black things exorcising the curse, is surprised and impressed. He watches the curse being destroyed, before walking up to the frightened child that began crying silently.

Hodokenai mou hodokenai yo shinjitsu sae freeze

“That was you?”

“H-Hai- I don’t know I- I don’t know what I did b-but everyone d-died and it chased me and I-I…I was running and I d-didn’t want this to eat…eat me-!” Their hiccups and sobs overtook their voice as the taller figure realized what this kid had before pulling him into a hug after a traumatic and grotesque event.

Kowaseru kowasenai kurueru kuruenai anata wo mitsukete

“Kid, what’s your name?”

“Surname first-name…” They sobbed into the male’s chest, finally letting out their pent up emotions of being bullied from school and foster care, not being seen as a person, not being defended by the guardians at foster care, not being able to have a happy life since birth. They felt cursed and just wanted to be erased from this world.

“You’re not a curse…” Is what the male tells them is what makes them realize they said it out loud. “You are a special human being. One that can control your cursed energy and can be able to use a cursed technique. Surname-san, my name is Satoru Gojo, and you are a sorcerer. I see you’ve had a rough life judging by what you said out loud. So let’s forget about that, forget what life throws at you, and let me help train you?”

And so, they took his hand, out of awe and pent up emotions of what this male told them, saying “You’ll be doing amazing things, surname-san.”

“SURNAME-SENPAI!!”

YURETA YUGANDA SEKAI NI DANDAN BOKU WA SUKITOTTE MIENAKU NATTE

One second, Kugisaki found herself in shock, staring at Mahito’s hand inches away from her face, then the next second being pulled in a black void that was endless, before seeing light and same beige tiles of the place she was in, falling beside Itadori whose pained shout she heard echo the hallway. She turns in time to see her senpai, in the exact place she was in, horror taking her features as Mahito’s hand swipes Surname-san’s face. They switched places with her!

"Surname-senpai! What the hell did you do!?"

MITSUKENAIDE BOKU NO KOTO WA MITSUMENAIDE

So this is what it feels like to be touched by Idle Transfiguration, they think as Mahito’s evil cackle erupts in the atmosphere before gripping their head in discomfort. They already felt their soul begin to unravel, their brain starting to become painful.

Kugisaki didn't want to admit the grim truth of their senpai's actions. But no matter how much she tried to think otherwise, she couldn't think of one. Because...Surname-senpai sacrificed their life for her by switching places at the exact moment Mahito was supposed to touch her, and taking her place.

DAREKA GA EGAITA SEKAI NO NAKE DE ANATA WO KIZUTSUKETAKU WA NAI YO

“SENPAI!!!” Both of their voices called them out, fear and horror in their tone. This isn’t how they wanted to die, or go out. But if it means to save someone younger than them, then it’s worth that sacrifice. The memories of them since entering Tokyo Jujutsu Tech pouring in like a movie film, each memory of them with their classmates…

Maki…Toge…Panda…Yuta…gomenasai…looks like I won’t be treating you all to sukiyaki at Ginza…

"Gomen, Kugisaki but I promised Nitta-chan and Maki that I'd help you survive." They chuckle sadly, knowing the pain is only increasing and seeing Kugisaki's angry and horrified expression with Itadori's terrified one.

OBOETEITE BOKU NO KOTO WO

The drops of blood from both of their nasal holes, dripping rapidly, along with their head feeling as if it is going to implode, makes them gaze up to the scared eyes of Itadori and Kugisaki, their eyes widening in horror at how Surname-san is looking. I am so sorry you have to see this…

Oshiete 

Maki…Yuta…Toge…Panda…Hakari…Hoshi…Gojo-sensei…Fushiguro-kun…Yaga-san…Ieiri-san…I…I am so sorry for this…I can’t make my promise…but…arigato

Oshiete

“Itadori-kun, Kugisaki-chan…thank you…for making me believe I was a good person…live a long life…both of you…”

Boku no naka ni

Those were the final words of their senpai, before hearing a gross popping, then witnessing their head explode into flesh, blood and brain matter scattering the floor and their uniform before the headless corpse falls to the floor with a sickening crack to the floor.

Then, the hallways echoed nothing but Itadori’s and Kugisaki’s cries…while Mahito was cackling at the demise of someone important to them

Dare ga iru no?

Itadori's cries echo the hallways the loudest alongside Kugisaki's crestfallen and tear-gazed expression. Itadori couldn't take it anymore...the tears cascacding down his face as his eyes lose the brightness in them completely.

Their senpai's bloody, mutilated and headless corpse was in front of them.

-------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations, you'll have depression now. You're welcome!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, am really really interested to read your thoughts on Seven!

*

Ask 2: Hey bpp, can i be honest?? Ive been checked out of the fandom but still keep track of any music releases. So i didnt know abt any rumors abt 7. Imagine me being kind of disappointed that it’s another english song from jk when i watched the mv😅 it feels like his most promoted songs since last year has been all eng song… idk i wanted & expted something diff… i didnt like l&r, dreamers and now 7… it’s back to back lol. Tbf i didnt like My You too and thats in korean. At least not enough to listen!again after the first listen.

Im happy that still with you is finally on spotify tho. I’ll still be waiting excited for his album whenever it comes out. Hopefully ill find something i like in it!!

**

[BPP Note: Both asks above were sent before my "I don't like it..." post. The asks posted below were sent afterwards.]

**

Ask 3:

Same here

All the hype didn't matched with the song

1. rest members songs had so much depth and substance to it while this was the cliche boy chasing a girl song. Like we always dont need deep songs but the quality could be so much better. This was like just another pop song.

I think I'll put this on same level as BAD DECISIONS. But for bad decisions, atleast the chorus was staying on my mind while for this nothing was catchy enough for us to humm. Just because it's JK it will get hype but otherwise it's so generic. I think I liked LEFT and RIGHT way better than Seven. Even the rap portion felt so unnecessary and boring.

2. MV was kinda nice because of the production but concept was too shallow, the stalking and chasing was so outdated. In my country we have like 9293928843837 MVs in this same concept that not many make the same theme songs again.

3. The choreography. We haven't seen the full version. But for tiktok they do the highlight portions if that's so mediocre idk how rest will be. It was again giving the same mediocre showing off choreography and for me backdancers ruined it with their awkward moves.

4. they wanted this song to be played everywhere around the world. But there was nothing catchy enough to attract gp or go viral on tiktok, even if we sped it up. The only way to make everyone listen is to shove it down their throat but doing payola. But idk if investing in payola is worthy for the song. I also doubt the longietivity, as for me it was boring after 2 listens. I'll rather listen Like Crazy or wildflower or closer 20 times than listening this once.

5. I HOPE he'll bring something fresh to the table for his album and don't involve this mediocre producers who uses the same formula and same superstar persona to make a song successful. He is so much talented to sing a song which is so rich in melody and lyrics. And he can produce way better songs by himself.

Prolly a 4/10 for me

*

Ask 4: troye sivan's rush (which also came out last night) is exactly what I wish Seven was. I don't mean that in a 'I expect the things JK to make to be gay' way just in the way it's a fun, very danceable, sexy summer song that doesn't pull its punches. Something about seven feels too run through a commercial sanitizer a few times, even with the explicit lyrics.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Jungkook likes to fuck.

Rather, Andrew Watt likes to fuck and thinks Jungkook can relate.

JK has been talking about wanting to show more mature and explicit sides of himself for a good long while now. So I’m glad he’s finally gotten to do that, confirming for us why he keeps getting noise complaints from his neighbours since the mattresses all over his apartment don't help.

BTS has made songs explicitly referring to sex before (though it's been mostly the rapline doing so). So it's nothing new but I guess it's cool JK gets to share with us that he too has sex.

The question I posed to my friends immediately after watching the MV is, “Do you know who's been doing A&R for BigHit since 2020? I really need to know who is doing A&R for BigHit in America because they’ve been doing an appalling job lately. I'm starting to wonder if it's an inside job cause this song is kinda ass.”

That was me ~11 hours ago.

I didn’t like the song.

I’ve streamed Seven about 20 times since then I think, took a break from the song for a few hours, watched his GMA performance, caught a few minutes of the Wlive, then listened to it again just before writing this post and…

I still don’t like it.

Jungkook did a good job on the song, Latto's verse wasn't terrible, and while the song itself isn’t bad… the song isn’t good either.

It’s painfully, and at this point it’s a pattern so I have to add, predictably, mediocre.

Reserving judgement for the album, but Anons, I agree with you for the most part. The suits at BigHit are trying but they are woefully out of touch with the reasons BTS blew up in the West in the first place. I don't even feel like spending any energy doing a review or even trying to explain what I mean. So I'll just ramble on for a bit but try to keep it brief.

---

I have to give BigHit some credit because I can see what they're going for here. Andrew Watt is a very celebrated producer in the US, he won the Grammy award for Producer of the Year in 2021, he's got A listers in his portfolio. So, he's not a cheap name to book and I can see why the suits at BigHit thought he's the genius to gift them a song clinically designed for American radio.

But that pandejo phoned it in. There isn't a lick of creativity to be found anywhere in all 3 minutes and five seconds.

It reminds me of VIBE by Jimin and Taeyang, as the closest analog to the vague dissatisfaction morphing into annoyance and then pragmatic rationalization I experienced in that same sequence when listening to it the first few times.

The song is disappointing because we've all heard it before. Too many times, and we're bored of it. We've heard JK sing this sort of song for years, as covers mostly. So on one hand, while I guess it's nice JK gets to have an American summer JB-reject pop tune of his own, it's not good enough to be the track that introduces him to the world as a solo artist.

It's fine for any white, blonde, blue-eyed heartthrob that can ride on a pretty face and implicit bias to rack up accolades, it's not good enough for Jungkook.

And BigHit needs to start using whatever leverage a US$10.6 billion market capitalization buys you in Hollywood, to insist for songs that are at least as good as the songs made by BTS members and produced by their in-house team. It's a waste of money and everybody's time to fly a battalion to LA just to record 2014's summer hit in 2023.

In my opinion.

Still With You > Stay Alive > My Time > Stay > Left & Right > My You > Dreamers > Seven

*

All that said, I can't ignore JK has a taste for songs like this, and it's not his fault the song is shit (he didn't write, compose or produce it), so technically he shouldn't be punished for it. And the song is made for radio, while it's not my personal taste a lot of people really like the song (one of my friends likes Seven the most out of all the BTS releases so far), and it will catch on with some support. So, ARMY will support it including me, just to a lesser degree than I've done so far. Fingers crossed JJK1 has something solid on it.

[theoneprecioustome]

P3R Opening Aikoto Thoughts

I finished working so I can finally sink my teeth into this Aigis sequence!

This post will contain spoilers about Persona 3, The Answer and Arena, so it'd probably be a good idea to skip it if you haven't played them yet!

So, first things first:

Aigis' sequence begins with her falling to her knees, looking pretty roughened up. The Moonlight Bridge being the background tells us all we need to know about the setting: this takes place during her battle with Death/Ryoji. As if to make it even more obvious, her sequence directly follows Ryoji's (which, let it be known, is hands-down the best shot in the opening).

Now, the question is... which fight are we witnessing, exactly? As we know, Aigis fights him twice. She fights him as Death 10 years ago, and then as Ryoji during the course of the game.

I think the opening sequence is meant to be the first fight: the one against Death, because we see Aigis falling asleep at the end of it. But I'll get back to that later. For now, assuming that it's that first fight helps contextualize the shots that follow:

Aigis is surrounded by the 13 arcana while the Fool lies right in front of her. The 13 arcana are, of course, the 12 shadows that Death was split into and Death itself.

And this is when the Aikoto comes in, because I believe this sequence is meant to serve two purposes at once: Symbolism and foreshadowing.

On one hand, they symbolize Aigis' meeting with Makoto in the Moonlight Bridge 13 years ago. The Fool represents him, both as the child that she had to seal Death into and as the boy that she swore to protect.

On the other hand, I feel that the fact that they chose to set the scene this way also serves as a nod to The Answer. After all, if this were simply meant to symbolize Aigis sealing Death into Makoto, then Death should've been right in the middle alongside him. Instead it's just The Fool, because the Moonlight Bridge is the place where both — Makoto's and Aigis' journeys began.

And Aigis journey began with Makoto and ended with her becoming the Fool and carrying his legacy.

Coincidentally, these seem to be the lyrics during the portion Aigis is on screen (credit to the Wiki):

No matter how far (No matter how far) How you go (How you go, how you go) How long you may last (F* tears, no time to waste) It's your life, burn your dread

This is not the first time Atlus references The Answer in an Opening. Burn my Dread foreshadows The Answer, and even Our Moment features a reference to it.

As such, it doesn't mean that we will see a The Answer re-release. All it means is that Atlus acknowledges its existence and, above all, the journey that Aigis goes through during it.

Now, back to Makoto! If you look closely at Aigis' expression, you will see that she looks sad, guilty even, as she looks down at the card representing him.

We also see this shot lingering and Aigis' pupil contracting right before she closes her eyes, which to me represents the fact that Makoto — and what she had to do to him — were likely the last thing she thought about before she fell into her deep slumber.

Coincidentally, the only ones that are within Aigis' eye — and thus, her focus — are herself and the Fool.

This, in turn, ties in not only with P3, where Aigis wakes up from her slumber when Makoto arrives to Yakushima:

It also ties in with The Answer:

And even with Arena. After all, thanks to Arena, we have an idea of what it is that Aigis thought about as she fell into her deep slumber. Or rather, what she wished for:

Aigis' sequence in the opening (the longest one after Makoto, if I'm not mistaken), ends with her falling asleep, her Papillon Heart shining brightly in the dark.

And of course, once she finally opens her eyes 10 years later, we get...

[go-river-flows]

Sweet Visions of a flower

Summary: Syulang (OC), an orphaned girl after the destruction of Hometree. She is constanly reminded of this by her amputated left leg and constantly dreams of her deep trauma. Even when she gets adopted by Toruk Makto and his wife, who she resented for over six years before forgiving him.

A/N: We are almost at the end now (I hope). And I'll post a one-shot before uploading The Humans of Awa'atlu or another series that just starting. Also just a heads up; I'll be taking a break from the 4th to the 11th of May, I will continue to upload even when I'm not writing using the automatic uploads system, hopefully, it works because I'm not using the internet for a whole week. Finger's cross until then. But for now, here's part 8!

Part 8 of 10

  Neytiri put her hand on her oldest daughter's shoulder and arm, trying her hardest to calm her. In her attempt Neytiri started singing, her voice slightly quivered as she raised her voice over her daughters crying, she leant closer to her ear singing to distract Syulang. She brushed the hair of her daughter away from her face and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, Syulang calmed down enough that Neytiri softened her voice down, repeating the lyrics to the song.

Jake entered with his children in tow. Arriving next to Syulang, hushing her down and rubbing her left leg to try to ease the pain. When Mo’at finally entered the tent a while later, she found the whole family there next to Syulang. Jake quietly left Syulang’s side to talk to Mo’at.

“It was like I entered her dream,” he was still in disbelief of what happened, “I saw Eytukan, and Tsu’tey. They said that they feared her soul would not reach Eywa if or when she dies.”

“This is truly concerning. We'll have to go to the Tree of Souls, I’ll be able to enter her dream there. I believe I could help her,” Mo’at rubbed her chin as she thought, “This is decided, I will enter her dream tonight. But in the meantime, I suggest you go on about your duties as Olo’eyktan.” 

“Yes, Tsahik. And thank you,” Jake took one last look at Syulang. Taking off to deal with Quaritch and his group of Dreamwalkers.

Taking arms again, he called for a few of his warriors and Tarsem, his Olo’eyktan in training. Taking flight on their ikrans, they flew to another smaller floating island, hoping the RDA hadn't found them yet. 

Landing in the trees. Jake and the group jumped down onto the floating rock. The recombiants all bound to different trees. Jake made his way to Quaritch, squatting down to look into his eyes. 

“So you finally decided to show up,” Quaritch sneered.

“Your lucky I didn't leave you here to just starve,” Jake stoically said.

“Why wouldn't you? You already betrayed your own race, I bet you’d do it again,” the colonel's southern twang drawled. Jake scoffed at that. “Now why don't you answer my question? How did’ya know we were gonna be here?” Quaritch repeated, for the fourteenth time.

“Let's just say Eywa gave me a sign,” Jake shrugged, “Now tell me, who sent you here?” Quaritch snickered.

“Remember Ardmore?”

“Heard of her, never met her.”

“Oh yeah, she’s back. Wants you dead, same as me. Same as everyone here,” Quaritch leant a little bit to look at his team, who were staring daggers at Jake.

“Is that why you're here…in this body? To kill me?”

“Oh…It's not just you Jake. You're mate too…Let's just say, we wanna end your bloodline, that means your kids too.” Quaritch sneered, Jake stiffened. His eyes burning with a rage he had never felt before.

“Well, thanks for the heads up,” Jake nodded to Tarsem and the other warriors who drew their knives at the recoms, poking the tip of it at the recoms neck.

“You dare–” Quaritch began to say.

“Or what? No one is coming for you. Where’s Ardmore huh? She’s not here, and I'll more than happily send you and your soldiers back in body bags. Especially after you threatened me!” Jake yelled at Quaritch to which he snarled, “So do you all want a quick or slow death? Take your pick.” Jake pointed his assault rifle at Quaritch’s head, ready to pop some bullets into his head.

Everyone was bug-eyed and silent, Quaritch knew he was fucked. He had no more options, only death. But there was a third option that the adults didn't see, they were too bloodthirsty. That third option came in the form of Syulang flying onto the island.

“Father!” Syulang shouted, sliding off her ikran running into the fray, “Stop! It doesn't have to end this way! Please, listen to me before you make a mistake.”

“Syulang! You should not be here!” Jake stood, yelled at his daughter.

“Please, just listen to me. There's another way, please,” Syulang stepped between Jake and Quaritch.

“No! There isn't! This guy! This guy…!” Jake pointed at Quaritch, “He wants us dead, he wants your mother, your siblings dead!”

“Please, There’s another way,” She begged, “There is another way. Another way that doesn't end with death,” she said in English this time. Jake panted, his heavy breath fogged a little from the altitude. He sighed deeply, exhaling through his nose. 

  A small movement from above caught his eye, looking up he saw an atokirina’. A seed of the great tree floating down onto Quaritch’s head. Syulang gasped with wide eyes a little, her hand covering her mouth in disbelief, catching Jake’s attention, he turned to see the same scene happening to the other recoms. An atokirina’ gently landing on their heads, his warriors’, Tarsem looking around to all the recoms with the seed of the great tree upon their heads. Finally they floated off at the same time. Tarsem and the warriors removed their knives from the recom’s neck, taking a step back awaiting further instructions.

“Eywa has spoken,” Syulang turned to Quaritch, “If you want to live. You must turn your back on those who control you. You are no longer human, you have been given a second chance at life. And in order to do that, you must become Na’vi.”

“You’re asking me to betray humanity?” Quaritch looked up at the girl, his eyebrow raised in questioning.

“You are no longer Human. We Na’vi have a saying; ‘Fwäkì ke fwefwi’. It means: Mantis doesn’t whistle; don’t expect someone to do something that isn’t in their inherent nature…Or something like that,” Syulang explained.

“The hell does that mean?”

“You are Na’vi, it is your nature. Everything you knew no longer matters. The blood that runs in your veins is Na’vi. Your body, Na’vi,” Syulang crouched to Quaritch’s form, “But, your heart,” she pointed to his chest, “Your mind,” she pointed to his head, “Your memories remain human. Everything that happened in the past, is the past.” She looked down to her amputated leg before continuing, “You can choose to let your past consume you, or give you a reason to change your heart.” She turned to look at Jake. Her father. “That day when Hometree fell, you took more than just my leg. You killed my family. And I blamed Jake, I blamed you. But in time I forgave him, he gave me a reason to keep living. Even every day when I'm in pain, I still…keep…going.”

The look in Quaritch’s eyes changed, almost sympathetic. So did Jake’s. 

“It was Eywa’s plan. It has always been her plan,” Syulang finished, standing up from her crouched position. Jake moved closer to Syulang wrapping his arm around her shoulders, giving a comforting rub. A silence fell upon the crowd. Quaritch was thinking, weighing his options. He fucking hates Ardmore, has had enough of taking orders. Heck, he just wants a simple life, he wants to stop fighting too. He was just following orders, and now he’s been given that exact opportunity that he so desperately craved. He knows the recoms would follow him, they trust him after all but he’ll still ask them.

“I'm done fighting. What do you guys think?” Quaritch asked out loud, enough for the other recoms to hear. They didn't say anything at first, probably considering following Quaritch. 

“Me too,” it was Lyle, “I didn't want to be reborn like this, following orders again when I should've stayed dead.” A few chorused his statement, agreeing with him.

A flurry of “I'm done fighting too” and “me too” responses or something to the same tune from the other recoms. Falling silent again. Jake was speechless, and Syulang smiled. 

“The RDA will come back. They'll come looking,” Jake reminded them, “There’ll be more bloodshed.”

“I know. Like I've never seen it before,” Quaritch scoffed. He sighed, taking a moment before saying words Jake would've never heard in a billion years come from Quaritch, “I'm sorry. You’re right. I'm sorry for threatening you too…and your family.”

“I still don't trust you though,” Jake stated. 

“Yeah, I know.” Then came something from Jake that Quaritch never expected, “Cut them loose. Cut their restraints. You'll stay here. We’ll bring you food, water and new clothes, but no weapons…not yet, anyways. Until we figure out what to do with the RDA, we’ll come to you with our plans.”

***

Returning to High Camp, Jake couldn't help but look at his oldest daughter. He thought he could see Tommy in her, though she wasn't related by blood, but it was as if she had Tommy’s spirit. He also saw himself in her, her words still resounding in his brain. ‘You can choose to let your past consume you or give you a reason to change your heart.’ Even her physicality, it reminded him of his human form. How fragile it was, how he destroyed himself further by using alcohol to deal with his problems, but also how he was given a second chance to live through Tommy’s avatar.

Neytiri was waiting at the entrance of High Camp, full of nervous energy and agitation. Syulang took off when no one was watching and Neytiri and the rest of the children searched the whole of High Camp looking for her, climbing all the high spots to get a better view of the whole camp. So to see her return on her ikran with Jake and the warriors Neytiri was overjoyed that she was safe. Enveloping her in a crushing embrace.

“Urgh, Mom! You’re crushing me,” Syulang croaked out, Neytiri fussed whilst looking over every inch of her oldest daughter making sure there was not a single scratch. It looked like Neytiri was about to explode when Jake pried his wife off Syulang.

“Ma Neytiri, she’s fine,” Jake hushed his wife, taking a step away before looking at Syulang, “How did you know where to find us? We never told anyone.”

Syulang averted her eyes, “I…Uh. I had another vision?”

“Damn. You're gonna become the next Tsahik at this rate,” Jake chuckled, though he was still a bit angry that she left the healing tent and High Camp. “How did ya know what to say to Quaritch? Was that also in the vision?”

Syulang just nodded, looking down at her feet. A smirk grew on Jake's face.

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[cocainegirlsnblunts]

Smoothies In 1991

Jack Harlow - Officially meeting Jack

Interviewer: So can you two tell us where you first met and what were your first impressions on each other.

you started cracking up thinking about that day.

10/27/21.

After 2019 you weren’t so much in the spotlight, only because you chose too. You liked to be as private as possible and your work already got the recognition it deserved. Plus you’ve already done a few interviews here and there.

You were struggling with a lot at the time and the only option you had was to take a break from your career. You stayed lowkey, stopped posting, and anytime you were in a picture or anything it was RARE.

But anyway, 2021 you started to plan your comeback and so your friend Cole posted you on your Birthday

@colebennett ✓⃝

liked by madisonbeer, chanteljeffries, mariahthescientist and 238,595 others

colebennett happy 22nd birthday twin

And Cole has worked with many people, including Jack Harlow. Who you didn’t even know really but Cole had the amazing idea to take him to the Birthday Party your lovely Best Friend, Kali Uchis was throwing you.

Your Birthday is in late October so you always have a Costume Party. This year it was a Jazz Club/Old Hollywood themed.

Many people that you’ve worked with or have a bond with came. Here are some of the people who attended.

As you’re talking with friends, Cole approaches you with some people you’ve never met and didn’t really recognize.

“Yo Arlette” he yells.

“Cole Hey!!” you say noticing there’s some people behind him.

“Look I just wanted to introduce you to my boys here, you might know some of em, this is Jack, Jack Harlow.”

the world stopped spinning when you looked into his eyes, and you damn near lost your breath when he reached for handshake.

“Happy Birthday.” he says

“nice to meet you☺️☺️” omfg. LIKE WHO IS THIS???!??? you were screaming on the inside, last person you were geeking over was Jordan. (playboicarti)

“And then this is Urban and Druski” Cole continues to introduce you.

you greet them all with a smile and a nice to meet you, because like we mentioned earlier we aren’t so aware of the people poppin at the moment😬 but some knew you

“Hey I really love your work dude, New Choppa was insane” - Urban says

“Thank you so muchhh!” you say with a smile.

Fast forward the night, you took some pictures with your friends and everyone, including Jack because Cole insisted.

Cole posted it on his story and everyone was going crazy because this was your first appearance since 2019. (yk how we freak out when we see frank ocean, this is how everyone was reacting to you)

You: So yeah to break it all down, I wanted Jacks fine ass since the day I met him.

Jack’s Pov

At the time I was on the rise of my Career. The song I was featured on with Lil Nas X was the #1 song in the world. Got Nominated for hella stuff, got hella awards. I was really accomplishing my dreams.

My friend Cole Bennett, creator of Lyrical Lemonde, fucking legend. I’ve worked with him for the music video of What’s Poppin my first hit ever.

He had this friend, and I had known of Arlette because she was a big help in the artistic side of this industry and uh, Urban has mentioned her name to me before when he’d show me some album covers, or a music video but, i never knew the face behind all that was arlette’s beautiful self.

So it’s October, all these halloween parties are happening and Cole had hit me up and said, “Yo I have this friend, Arlette Viotto she works in the same category as me. I don’t know if you’ve heard of her but, she’s having a birthday party today at 9 PM they’re always really sick, i’d love for you to meet her man.

And me like I said I never even seen what she looked like, but I looked her up on google and I was sent to a whole different dimension looking at how beautiful she was. I was also appalled reading everything she was behind like damn I never knew. But I hit Cole back I said I am going to that party, we invited more of our friends and walking into this lil jazz club, they were playing that techno shit, it got turnt.

And I’m walking around I see hella people here, some people are coming to greet me ya know telling me congrats on being number one all that. Cole brings me to go meet this Arlette Viotto. And man was she even prettier in person.

Meanwhile Urban was over here fangirling, i remember. That shit was hilarious, but yeah I used my skills of eye contact and smooth talking. It was love at first sight.

okay first of all sorry for taking forever on this. I have gotten so unmotivated on like everything i been wanting to write about but here is what i have of this Jack Harlow series im attempting to do. I hope you love it and there’s more coming, trust and believe!!