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hbosucc · 5 months

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Greg Hirsch x Reader: Chapter 3

A little shorty chapter today! I probably won't post a chapter a day forever, so enjoy while it lasts lol. Eventually I will run out of chapters.

Link to previous chapter

This chapter is also fairly tame. Swearing, dubious morals, discussion of ATN news. Smut starts in the next chapter after this one (chapter 4).

Thank you to anyone reading!! <3 I think all that any writer can hope for is someone, even one person, reading their work and enjoying it. So I hope you enjoy xoxoxo mwah

Chapter 3: Confrontation

“You work for fucking ATN?” I hissed over my coffee mug. We were at my favorite café near the school on my lunch break. Greg had a rare day off, so he’d been able to meet me last minute, though he hadn’t known I was going to confront him about his job.

“I—I can explain,” His eyes grew wide.

“Yeah, you’d better be able to explain that, Greg,” I said, folding my arms. “God, I finally find a guy I actually like, and he works for the fucking devil. When were you going to tell me about this? Were you waiting for me to sleep with you first, or something?”

“No, no,” He sighed, putting his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at me. “My family owns ATN. Well, my cousins and uncle do. Remember how I told you I was really broke? This job was my last resort, believe me, but I, like, really needed it. I was literally living in a men’s shelter when I started there.”

“Fuck,” I said under my breath, taking a sip of my latte. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I mean, first of all, it’s an embarrassing place to work, obviously,” He said, and I nodded. “Also, I just…I think…I mean, it’s not like I’m super rich or anything, but I think…in the past, some girls have maybe gone out with me, just because I’m technically part of the Roy family, so they expect that I will be. Rich, I mean, which I’m not.

“And—and I thought you seemed really cool, and I wanted to get to know you without all of that…stuff in the way, at first.”

I let his words sink in. He had lied by omission, yes, but I understood his reasoning.

“It’s bad, I know.” He looked at me pleadingly. “I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”

“You should be.”

“I am!” Greg sighed. I had to look away, because the puppy dog eyes were coming out, whether he realized it or not. “For the record, I wasn’t trying to wait until after I—we—you know. Slept together? I was just nervous to tell you. I really, really am sorry.”

“Could you quit?” I cocked an eyebrow. “The job, I mean.”

“I mean—I could, in theory, but that would, um…” He trailed off, trying very hard to come up with an answer. Finally, I took pity on him.

“It’s okay, Greg,” I sighed, locking eyes with him. “I wouldn’t expect you to quit your job, where you’re making God-knows how much money, for someone you’ve been on two dates with. I know that wouldn’t be fair of me.”

“Okay, thank you, that’s cool, because I really…I don’t have a lot of, like, life skills, you know? And if I quit, I don’t know if—I mean, they might be so pissed about it, they might not give me a recommendation so I could get a new job, or anything.”

“I know. I’m not totally unreasonable, you know.” I cupped my hands around my mug. It was warmer inside the café than out, but I still felt cold. “You have to do what you have to do, I get it. As long as this isn’t, like, your dream job, and you love working there, or anything.”

“No, it’s nothing like that, not at all.” He shook his head vehemently. “I even asked if I could get switched out of ATN to one of the other divisions, but my boss got, like, really mad about it, and I had to stay.”

“God, that sucks.” I blew out a puff of air. “So, what’s it like being Satan’s nephew?”

“Well, to be fair, I didn’t really know him until pretty recently, so…it’s not like we’re close, or anything.” He played with the handle of his mug, and I noticed he’d barely drank any of his coffee.

“This is so wild. I can’t believe it.” I shook my head at him, but let my lips form into a smile. I felt I’d probably given him a hard enough time.

“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy,” He laughed, like he couldn’t believe it either.

“Well,” I checked my phone. “I need to head back to campus, my break’s almost over.”

“Oh, for sure.” We both stood and bundled back up, then headed out into the cold once more.

“Thanks for coming to meet me. I know it was a bit of a drive for you, just to come get yelled at.” I bumped my shoulder into his—well, it was closer to his elbow, truthfully—as we walked down the salted sidewalk.

“Hey, no worries. I should’ve told you sooner, I just…” He cleared his throat. “I like you, I guess? I mean, not I guess, I know, but I just…”

“Do you want to come over to my place sometime this weekend?” I asked, once it was clear he was having trouble getting his words out.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows, stopping for a second to look down at me.

“Yeah. I could make us dinner, we could watch a movie, you know.” I shrugged. “If you want.”

“That—that would be really cool. Yeah, I’d be, um, very down.” He said, a smile spreading across his face.

“Cool. Text and let me know which day works better for you.” I stood up on my toes and gave him a quick peck, pulling back to look at him.

“I will…I will do that.” He gave me two thumbs up and I couldn’t help letting out a laugh.

“Okay. See you, Greg.” I crunched over the sidewalk to my car, stopping to give him a wave before sliding behind the wheel. Well, fuck. It looked like I’d be hitting the grocery store after work and coming up with a good recipe to make, all for some ATN asshole—though, to be honest, he wasn’t really an asshole. As much as I wanted to stick to my principles, I couldn’t help myself. I liked him, and I wanted to see more of him.

#hbo succession #succession #succession fanfic #succession imagine #greg hirsch x reader #gregory hirsch #greg hirsch #x reader #succession x reader

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nosesitter · 10 months

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Kings Killer

2.28k words

Warning: OOC! Mandalorian, PinV, oral female receiving, spit kink, cream pie, mentions of prostitution, choking, reverse cowgirl(it’s not a flattering position, sex pollen/flower, no grogu🥺

gif not mine!

A/N: something from the ol’noggin I just want to believe that the Mandalorian is a brat breaker I want him to break me like a horse. If anyone would like to send me a request pls do I love writing personal drabbles 🤭

6 times you’ve seen him in the bar you are stationed at by the Hutts. The first three times he was there he was gathering information, trashing the place beating up customers, on bounties. The last three times he was there for something different; something morally dubious. Just because he was a Mandalorian didn’t mean he wasn’t a man.

There’s been a lot of men to come through here and think that they are gonna be able to break us down and having us come to them begging for more release but quite the opposite; Before Jabba The Hutt died he was having Boba Fett hunt and propagate a flower that grew on Aq Vetina. It’s called the King Killer. It’s a bright purple flower that when squished releases an addictive sticky liquid that we wash our bodies with. Any man that comes within our contact becomes entranced and empties his pockets on us eventually going into debt by the Hutts. It all worked perfectly.

It’s a slow day in the bar, it’s absolutely scorching and a very slow wind is blowing through the place making the girls break into a sweet sticky sweat. While the band is playing a slow song you can faintly hear blasters shooting and missing. You can hear the sound of sand and gravel crunching as someone runs past the building then there’s a single shot of a blaster and no more running

The doors slide open and there he is. He stands there for a moment in the doorway, chest and shoulders heaving as his Beskar armor is covered in blood, he glides over to the bar closest to me and everyone has their eyes on him until he sits down, blaster still in hand. He looks in my direction and I can only assume he’s looking at me, who knows under his helmet, He holsters his blaster and I speak.

“You’ve been driving away business lately.” It comes out bratty as you turn your face away from him and sip your drink. It’s true though no new clients just the same regulars that come in and dwell on and don’t spend anything.

“There’s something on this planet that makes me keep coming back.” He flatly says as he begins to take off his gloves causing you to stare right at him and his tanned thick fingers. “It’s honestly driving me insane.” He’s starting to strip off his armor right at the bar.

“What’s going on with you?” You question him and his unusual behavior. Never has he acted like this before in the 6 times you’ve seen him. Even when he was here the last three times for sex he didn’t even have it. He had the girls just lay on the bed and touch themselves as he sat on the corner.

“I need to breath.” He says and you are snapped out of your thoughts as you hear his helmet hiss and begin to rise, you grab his very warm hands and before anyone can notice you are pulling him away and into a room. He does it again but this time you flip the switch off and you are completely in the dark, you can’t see anything. He’s panting you can feel his breath hit you and it comes as a shock. His helmet is off, here he is so exposed, so vulnerable breaking the creed.

You try to touch him but he must sense it and grabs your hand and spins you around. He bear hugs you from behind and begins sniffing your neck. He has facial hair! You can feel it tickle your neck and shoulder as he digs his nose behind your ear. “I need to taste you.” He sounds so desperate without his helmet his voice was delicate almost a whisper. You lay back into him and just let him grope your breasts over the very thin silks you’re wearing. His hands feel like fire as his thumbs rub over your clothed nipples causing you to moan out loud.

He’s animalistic now. His right hand moves up from your chest to your neck he yanks your head to the side and licks a stripe from your shoulder to your ear. Your knees buckle and you grind into him. “Please let me taste you. I need to otherwise I might die.” You turn around and just start to feverishly kiss him your hands move to touch his prickly facial hair, slowly moving them into his sweaty hair which you begin to tug that causes him to moan into your mouth. If he was to fuck you now he’d slide right in.

“Open your mouth.” With your hands on his face you feel him open his mouth so you spit into it. This causes the Mandalorian to turn from your grasp and switch the light on. He broke his creed and he doesn’t even seem phased by what he’s just done. You’ve seen him for who he is now and you are absolutely thanking the stars. He’s fucking gorgeous.

“Get on the bed.” He’s not asking he’s demanding. Obeying his command you back up until the back of your knees hit the bed then you crawl backwards staring him down

The Mandalorian is stripping off his beskar shoulder pads and then unclipping his heavy chest plate. He slides it across the floor not caring about the heavy scratching sound it made as he did that. The shirt he is wearing underneath is completely soaked with his sweat. He begins to undo the buttons, stripping it off leaving him with his tan chest and thick muscular arms exposed. All he has left to take off is his very tight black pants.

He kneels down and pulls your body closer to his face. His lips touch the bottom of your belly button. It feels like electricity. As he’s kissing you he spreads his legs and squats lower, the tight fabric around his thighs is spreading, you swear you can hear the seams in his pants begin to rip. He grabs your leg and pulls it over his shoulder. You are dripping. The sheerness of it all over your thighs.

His lips make contact with your mound as he gives you another light kiss, you can hear him breathe in hard through his nose, under hooded eyes he’s looking up at you through his long lashes. You can’t help but grab the top of his hair with your hand rubbing his nose into your clit. “Greedy fucking slut.” He slaps your ass lightly and begins to lick and mewl away at your cunt.

“Oh my stars!” You gasp out as he begins lapping the dewiness with his tongue. Your grip getting tighter in his hair, he groans into you causing vibrations. “Fuck, mando..” it comes out as a whimper. He’s hungry and it shows. “So fucking sweet.�� He speaks against you, more vibrations.

He pulls away from your cunt; wetness all over his face. Using the back of his arm he wipes his mouth and pushes you onto the bed and climbs on top of you. As he creeps his way up he kisses the top of your bellybutton, your eyes are closed and your breathing is shallow. He takes notice in the goosebumps on your skin and the perkiness of your nipples.

The Bounty hunter sticks his tongue out and licks up the middle of your midriff. As his lips wrap around your right nipple one of his legs is in the middle of your thighs creeping dangerously close to you. He pulls away from your chest and moves closer to your face, you can feel his knee move closer to your needy cunt as he starts to kiss you again hard you slip your tongue into his mouth to taste yourself on his lips. He grabs your face his with one of his calloused hands and you can guess what he’s going to do.

“Now you open your fucking mouth.” Your smiling as you stick your tongue out, spit coming from his mouth and onto the back of your tongue. He’s rubbing his knee against you and that causes you to grind more against his clothed leg. “Please fuck me, I’m so wet you could slide right in.” Quite a change of pace with the sex worker begging for sex from the customer who hasn’t even paid yet.

He sits back up moving his knee from you and starts to unbutton his pants. He’s not wearing anything underneath causing his erection to pop right out. He shimmies his pants below his balls and lines himself up with you and slides right in as predicted.

“Holy fuck, just say the word baby and I’ll cum in you right now!” You wrap your legs around his waist causing him to bottom out inside of you.

Your mouth parts but nothing comes out. He begins to move his hips in circular motions causing your eyes to roll back. His pubic hair rubbing on your most sensitive area. “This is where I need to be right inside of you forever.” The Mandalorian is hooked on the kings killer flower. He’s never gonna let you go, a deadly bounty hunter moaning very loudly right now. He looks down at the scene infont of him then at your hungry cunt taking all of his cock. His hot hand is pressing down on your lower abdomen feeling how deep he’s in you right now. The other is thumbing your clit. There’s a very big pressure building up inside of you.

“Don’t stop I need all of you.” You’re being greedy he takes notice in that. His hand comes down and wraps around your neck as he pounds into you, balls hitting you. He pulls out and you whine at the loss of penetration, pushing you out of the way he lays down and then taps your thigh to get on top and start riding him. As you get up and throw your leg over him he says just one word.

“Reverse.” You look right at him and he smirks. He’s sitting up against the headboard looking absolutely smug. You turn around and begin to lower yourself on top of him he’s holding himself up and slides right into you.

“Fuck!” He drags the word out as you slide all the way down on him feeling very exposed to him. Holding onto his knees you begin to move your hips up. You can feel the bottom vein under his cock pulse and it causes you to clench around it. You moan loudly when you do this and this makes him crazy. He grabs your hips and ruts up into you hitting that squishy part deep inside you. You scream out and move your hips back onto him pushing him into the bed. You can feel yourself getting closer to orgasm as you ride him. His groans getting more quicker and his breath more and more shallow, he’s close too.

The Mandalorian pushes you up off him and onto your knees he moves quick and pushes back into you. “I’m going to cum inside you.” He shouts out as he pounds into you fast. You’re a moaning mess as your hands grip the blankets. His calloused hands going down the curve of your back to pinch the fleshy skin on your lower back.

“Fuck, I’m cumming!” The bounty hunter yells out, as you can feel him hunch over your back, his body is absolutely on fire. He keeps pounding into you until you also feel the fire in your stomach about to explode. There’s a gush inside you and you feel completely soaked.

The Mandalorian is on top of you panting. Still trying to milk out all of his cock into you. Knees collapse and now you’re laying flat on the bed. He falls next to you as he stares right at the ceiling.

“I have to leave for a bounty on another plant, but I would want you to come with me.” The Mandalorian tells you causing you to just sit up and stare at him.

“If I don’t are you going to kill me because I saw your face?” You ask him and he just rolls his eyes.

“You think I could kill you now that we’re connected? The Kings killer flower in you is going to crave me and I’m going to crave you. How could The Mandalorian know anything about the flower? No one knew of it or the planet it came from.

“I am from Aq Vetina. I was young when I left my planet but I still remember what I learned from my parents. That flower is used for procreation.” as he begins to get up and get dressed. Something in you believes him but also doesn’t until he gets a little too far from you, he’s walking closer to the door and then there’s a pain in your lower gut.

You open your mouth to wince at the pain but The Mandalorian notices and comes back closer to you.

“Did you want to grab anything before we leave?” He asks as he finishes getting ready about to put his helmet back on. So sure and cocky with himself that you are going to come with me.

You shake your head no as you slip your silks back on and grab his hand. Both of y’all leaving the sex club and never to return.

—————🪐💥🪷

Reblog, comment, validate me🫶🏻

0704

#pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal #the mandalorian smut #the mandaloria/reader

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separatist-apologist · 3 months

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i know you said you stopped reading them, but were there any dark romances that hit just right for you? i also struggle a lot with liking the idea of a darker romance, but not wanting to read about the mmc assaulting the fmc and they just fall for them anyway. seems like too many dark romance fall under that and i'm left there like... where was the romance in this??

the only one i read recently was twisted emotions by cora reilly which is a mafia romance/arranged marriage. it's dark-ish? like *trigger warning* the fmc was abused as a child, but the mmc had zero to do with that and instead helped her heal. not a great difference, but considering the mmc wasn't the abuser i guess that's a win? i will say i did enjoy this book, but it's one of those MY GOD HIRE AN EDITOR books because i believe the author is german and there's some major spelling/grammatic errors. it was pretty blatant so that sucked, but i did enjoy the characters and i thought she did a good job (as a survivor of child abuse/SA myself) writing a survivor healing and dealing with their trauma and trusting their partner to bring them joy during sex and intimacy.

Again, beneath the cut

I have such a love/hate relationship with dark romance because I'm not opposed to dubious consent (obviously). I think my issue is a lot of dark romance thinks it can only be dark if there is this element of emotional abuse that I find difficult to deal with, especially if its not resolved.

So like, the MMC kidnaps her, or he won't let her leave his home without watching her 24/7 because she belongs to him, to the point that he controls her phone, her finances, her friends and everything else. And I think a dark romance book could start that way but there should be growth, you know? You can be possessive and also trusting? Like why CANT she leave without an escort, why do you need to watch her 24/7? Why can't she work if she wants to, why does the FMC have to give up her autonomy entirely in order for the romance to work. I don't like that and I know a lot of people do which is fine, but it doesn't feel like a happy ending.

I also don't like the arrogant "im so hot i could have anyone i want and youre lucky im even looking at you" MMC that seems so popular in dark romance. What happened to being pathetic? What happened to being down bad for one woman to the point youd ruin the world for her, you know? You can be a piece of shit and still wet and pathetic, like sir you can really have it all.

I think my issue is the MMC is never required to grow or change and its the FMC who accommodates him and in the end decides she actually likes this/prefers it and so he is never required to compromise or alter his life for her to prove he loves her. Again. Bring back sopping wet men.

And finally, I wish dark romance would center on themes outside of just sexual assault. I am weary of the "hes so hot that sexual assault is forgivable" like girl c'mon. What if we just leaned into the murder, example, you know? That's enough to give ANYONE pause, if I was dating a man and found out he was killing people regardless of the justification I might have some thoughts like "what the fuck" and "hello 911?"

And if he is murdering its always this backflipping justification for why thats okay like i don't know, maybe we just. Call it what it is, ya feel? He's killing people, thats wild. No need to add morality to it, maybe he just likes to blow off steam by killing strangers.

Anyway all this to say no, I haven't read anything I really liked outside of fanfiction. Maybe I'll give your recommendation a shot and see how I feel about it.

#haters bookclub #if you do have a dark romance rec you can always hit me up #but i think this year im going to actually read all the monster books you all sent me #and i gotta read some of the omegaverse books #i have the dumbest idea based on those alpha books you always see on facebook #you know the ones im talking about #i want to write a parody of this so bad for feysand

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bitacrytic · 2 years

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I have a question. And I am not trying to start any shit trust me. It's just I was exploring the kp tag and I caught another blogger answering an ask. In their opinion, Vegas is those creepy people who constantly come onto you even when you say no and then ultimately commit on you the violence of sexual assault. They brought up how after a failed attempt at raping Porsche he was standing admiring himself in the mirror. And while initially I went how dare you...I eventually could not disagree.

I know the source novel and it is honestly bad. What happened to Pete there- let's just say I am relieved they took another route no matter how dubious the present version is in itself. My point of the ask is- from the safe house episodes they tried to play it up as the man being a sad little boy who did whatever he had to do to come out on top. And maybe ( just maybe with dangling on a very thin line) I can excuse that what he did with Tawan as a part of him wanting to get an inside Intel but his attempt at raping porsche...that- that is not justifiable right? I mean flirting with him/trying to impress him...okay- massive douchebag but the drugging and making him drunk...those stuff.

And the thing is I was in the Vegaspete afterglow right? Giggling at the hospital scene. But now after i have seen the post...i can't help but ask myself...didn't they take the Vegas of earlier episodes and turn him into someone else from that safehouse episode? ( where vp have a heart to heart)? I have the link to the post I am referring to. But I don't want anyone to harass the person...so I am just sending the ask.

Oh, you're right not to link someone that people might attack. Real people matter more than opinions about a fictional ship. So, good on you for not linking it.

I agree with you. Vegas is a psychopath. He is a rapist. He is a murderer. Vegas did bad things to EVERYONE he's ever come in contact with, besides his father and his brother. I am of the opinion that if Tawan hadn't kidnapped Chay and ruined things, Vegas would have taken Porsche to his dungeon and tortured and raped him. It's that simple.

But here are a few things to think of:

1. People can still ship psychopaths and enjoy a ship that features rape. It is fucking FICTION. If you don't ship it, cool. But don't try and make other people feel bad about it. We have literally seen these men commit murder and we still stan them. There's no good behaviour here. Kinnporsche is messy. Everyone is messy. So don't let anyone make you feel like shit for shipping a messed up ship from a messed up show. Because everyone is fucked on this show.

2. It's funny that we, as the audience, think we have a moral standpoint from which to judge these characters. Because we don't. If we were in these situations (I hope not) we might exhibit our worst selves. The things Vegas did to Pete are fucked up. But guess what? If Pete wasn't the prisoner, he'd have stood on the sidelines and let it happen. Wait, he did stand on the sidelines and let Vegas torture at least two different people. That's the kind of show we're watching. Fucked up people doing fucked up shit to each other. And the fact that we think we can find morality or a reason to excuse anything any of them do is funny. Because we can't.

3. The same thing they did to Vegas is what they did to Kinn. These men are bad people, but we're supposed to root for them. So of course there wil be a moment where there's a switch from "I'm the big bad," to "I want this man I have harmed to love me."

They made Vegas miss and crave Pete to show growth in his arc, the same way they made Kinn seem like a good man after the things he did to Porsche. "Oh, I sexually assaulted you? But I have feelings for you. Oh, I punished you even though I know what actually happened wasn'tyour fault? But my father made me do it. Love me because I hate the bad things that I have done." And it fucking worked. Even people like me who complain about Kinn, still love the kinnporsche ship. Because it has its moments. But it's toxic. So, saying that they tried to play Vegas up as sad cat meow meow after the incident should also be said about kinn. Kinn is also a rapist. He also trapped Porsche in that mansion, excluding him from friends and family to the point that Porsche had to lie to leave the mansion.

My point is,

No one in this fandom has a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining about problematic ships. We can hate the ship all we want, but we can't erase or escape the problematic parts of our own ships.

Unless the person in question doesn't like any ship on the show.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete

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ubyr-babaj · 8 months

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Dracula Mischaracterization Drinking Game, НП edition

Yeah, I'm still alive, I'm in a bad mood, so I'm gonna play this thing with the writing project I've been on for two years, here we go.

Jonathan

Is combined with Renfield.

Dies at the beginning

Is made into a generic male hero. Let’s make it half a shot. He’s boring and xenophobic, but he’s not very masc.

Is a toxic partner to Mina. Half a shot. Treats her as his last link to his sanity/humanity/lost masculinity, overall codependent as all hell, but so is she.

Barely has any presence at all. I never felt much for him.

Never goes to Transylvania Goes to Dracula and his sisters, stays in their non-Euclidian fuckhouse of horrors, that's the main reason he's such a mess.

Is made to be aggressive and "manly" Half a shot? Develops serious anger issues (like in the OG novel), it gets even worse after he starts turning into Mina’s familiar. How much of it is just C-PTSD is unclear. I need a bland twink to store my intrusive thoughts about stabbing people.

Mina

Is Dracula's love interest/reincarnated wife. That dubious honor goes to Ray.

Is indifferent to or hates Jonathan and/or Lucy Loves them both.

Is made into a one-note damsel in distress

Has none of her original intelligence

Is only there as "moral support" for the men For them, she mostly exists as their religious/political symbol of hardcore Christianity/traditional femininity (like in the OG book). She’s not exactly happy with that but isn’t ready to speak up.

Is a prize to be won by the men

Is swapped with Lucy

Is married to someone other than Jonathan

Dies as a vampire or remains a vampire in the end Half a shot. Ambiguous. She’s left with a vial of juice that pretty much makes you an artificial saint with no tolerance for injustice, so her choice is either to actually become someone who isn’t an Angel in the House, or to finish her transformation into a vampire and marry Jonathan by their laws.

Dumps Jonathan for Dracula. She would never.

Consented to the "Baptisim of Blood" No, Val forced her into it and taunted the hell out of her through her dreams.

Jack

Is an old man/same age as Van Helsing

Is Mina's and/or Lucy's father

Isn't friends with Van Helsing or the rest of the Suitor Squad He wants Van Helsing, feels uncomfortable with Quincey for a one-night stand reason and can barely stand Arthur, because of the class differences.

Is the only present member of the Suitor Squad

Only there to be Lucy's doctor and has no emotional connection to her

Does all the research and work that Mina actually did in the original story Half a shot. Does some of it but arrives to all the wrong conclusions and never actually connects it to anything important.

Van Helsing

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Is a badass action hero vampire hunter

Comes from/started a bloodline of famous vampire hunters

Is the only character other than Dracula from the book

Has a first name other than "Abraham"

Has supernatural powers

Is a woman/combined with Sister Agatha

Is the only one who knows Dracula is a vampire and has to prove it to everyone else

Is the one to kill Dracula

Is not Dutch in the slightest

Quincey

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Arthur

Has so little relevancy he might as well not be there Well, like in the OG novel? I mean he did sleep with Seward at some point of his youth and kept a crush on him, but he literally has no reason to be there and is one of the few characters who are actually allowed to leave.

Is British, or anything other than American/Texan

Is a shallow or douchey lover to Lucy Shallow and fuckboyish (like in the OG novel), but still pretty nice. Him and Arthur are the only people who understand that mutilating vampire!Lucy was kinda not very good.

Has a futuristic descendent with more plot relevance than himself

Arthur

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Jack, or Quincey, or Jonathan, or any combination of those

Doesn't contribute or is entirely absent in the staking vampire!Lucy scene

Is Lucy's or Mina's brother

Is a spoiled rich boy who barely contributes to the plot Barely contributes anything to the plot (except for money), IS rich and sheltered (LIKE IN THE ORIGINAL FUCKING...)

Lucy

Is swapped/combined with Mina

Is Mina's sister

Is shallow/slutty/bitchy IS pretty shallow (like in the… Ok, I’ll shut up). But she’s nice and did nothing to deserve what happens to her.

Is a toxic friend to Mina/secretly hates her

Is framed by the narrative as deserving of her death at the hands of Dracula

Literally asked/invited Dracula to drain from her

Her plotline is ignored/never resolved. She joins the harem of one of Val’s sisters and then I completely forget her.

Is staked by someone other than Arthur

Is engaged/married to someone other than Arthur

Is actually canonically queer, but she still gets killed.

Renfield

Is combined with Jonathan/goes to Transylvania instead of Jonathan

Is the secondary villain/straight up evil Ehhhhh… Ray used to be a prophet in his past life and did try to be a good person in the current one, but the systematic oppression makes him say: “Fuck it” and go off with Val.

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Remains loyal to Dracula throughout the whole story and never fights/turns on him Eh. Does turn on Val, does fight him, then he realizes he can’t stand living with a bunch of homophobic Christian hypocrites who’re buds with his rapist, and re-joins Val.

Never interacts with Mina They interact, they talk, it’s one of the main reasons he realizes the Crew aren’t worth saving.

Is shown as "sane" at the beginning

Becomes a vampire at some point Ehhhh… Becomes A Creature but it’s not a vampire.

The narrative tries to justify his mistreatment at the hands of Jack

Dracula

Is not "evil," just """misunderstood""" Dude, that’s one of the guys who destroyed Sodom and fucked Lot wearing his daughters as flesh puppets. Don’t fuck this cool thing, he’s NPD symptoms on steroids, he’s only safe for former/current prophets.

Is actually the protagonist Half a shot. Is the protagonist’s love interest.

His first name is Vlad His name is Val/Baalzebub.

Appears and regularly interacts with the other characters throught the story Hell yeah, my dude, he’s always there.

Is young/handsome/suave IS in his early forties in the main section of the book (like in the OG novel). IS handsome (like in the…)

Is here to "liberate" Mina from her "toxic"/"boring" husband

Is combined with Vlad the Impaler/some historical figure Half a shot. Is Baalzebub a historical figure?

Is obsessed with Mina specifically

Has all queer undertones stripped from him

Is not Romanian/his actor makes no attempt to sound Romanian That’s a fallen angel who’s on a pilgrimage as a vampire, because he lost a bet with his cousin. He has no heritage, the only reason he is Romanian is because he happened to chill in there.

Is basically just a characature of Bela Logosi No, we’re vibing with Louis Jourdan in this house.

Only kills the characters who "deserved" to die I have extreme anger issues, on my bad days I DO think that everyone Val kills deserves it. Usually by virtue of being really boring.

Is hurt/killed by exposure to sunlight

Is Van Helsing's arch nemesis He can’t give two shits about the guy

Is friends with Frankenstein's monster …dude, he’d fuck Adam. He’d totally fuck both Adam AND his father.

Never turns into anything other than a bat Mostly plops around as a black cat with white socks.

#нп #writing

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righteousdelusions · 1 year

Text

rereading part 2 thoughts (part 2)

For all that Yuko is a crazy fangirl using a hero to justify her want for blood, i kinda like that she's not far off in that "Chainsaw Man kills bad guys" without nuance.

Also her saying the reality of CSM going to her school disappointing because he doesn't stop bullies, only devils. How would a Denji like that even look like, considering he... Doesn't have a solid grasp in human morality conventions...

Those panels where the bubble is behind the window... So cool

It's probably just a japanese school clothes convention (?) but i like how the devil hunters look like Jotaro. I think they are organized in a way that makes sense, if they were dealing with a weaker devil they could've had a chance...

This type of club should be illegal, then again, with so many deaths, i guess it's logical that people just don't know how to regulate things like teenagers wanting to be heros

Gives more weight to the theory that Yoshida's organization wants to make people avoid seeing devils in a more positive light or people think making contracts with devils is good

Btw why is the Justice Devil preying on so many kids? First the class prez, now Yuko. It seems as if its looking for something, maybe Justice also wanted to fight Chainsaw Man...

Yoru having a guerrilla armament hiding in almost every classroom is kinda badass. Also the fact she wanted to use Yukos body parts, because Yuko is Asa's. Yoru is neutral to this lesbian drama, but waiting to see what'll happen next. She's like me watching telenovelas

So messed up that she compared herself to the gun devil.... Her sense of justice is completely warped up. But that's the thing about justice right.... The way people use it.... And why they fear it....

Becoming a symbol once again is relevant... It really makes me wonder what will happen to Denji sjsjs

It's interesting that Yoru asked what Yuko offered in exchange and Yuko said nothing. I don't remember if they say it later, that's why I'm re reading. If Yuko is just lying, then that's funny. Of Yuko really didn't have to offer anything, then the Justice Devil was super duper using her for the shady reason they use school girls.

Klk reference

Yoru looking at the power of possessions coming from deep love with surprise... She already tried to found Asa a bf please don't get ideas in your head sjsj

Like a child's justice.... Pure revenge. The believe that just destroying the school will bring peace... Also justice devil is so funny for contracting with two morally dubious high school girls in love

The fact she blamed someone else because she couldn't accept SHE hurt Asa. Funny. But not funny haha

Never meet your heroes absjsj

You know Yoru feels smug that Denji is indeed Chainsaw Man like she told Asa to keep talking to him. Well, that if she recognized him

I suppose Denji tries to reveal things slowly because he thinks that makes him look more cool. I personally would've just transformed in front of the tv cameramen. But i guess we wouldn't have a plot

Also Denji trying to convince the frightened girl that he's human <\3

I don't understand why Yoshida hand signal has to be like that... Unnecessary

Also I've always thought Fujimoto's male hands had way too long fingers but it makes sense if he reads BL like ajsjsjsk long finger yaoi men Aki and Yoshida. You know he's giggling while drawing them

The way the girl looked at Asa... I wonder if she'll start a rumour...

Hilarious that they live in a world so bleak and dark and yet they say a girl has no backbone if she makes a deal with the devil... Truly a realistic depiction of society, kudos to Fujimoto

That dream is so cool... Visually i mean. Kinda makes me think Asa will keep killing every innocent that comes in contact with her.... Whatever it does mean, it will be sad. That Yuko sword must be powerful too...

Door leitmotif

Would you still love me if I was a worm

Also did she become a fiend and if she did, were Yukos feeling enough to mix with Justice, or Justice is just letting Yuko do whatever because if fits their plan

Yuko: I'm a bad person because I did something good to you because I wanted to be friends. Me: sure that's a sound logic, totally not warped up by loneliness and fan culture

Other people's thought drown her head. She can tell she doesn't really think that's justice... I guess, in order for true justice to happen, you need absolute truth. But truth is sooo warped up by people's perception of things... And a human can't hold all that in her head. So it seems justice is fickle. But i don't want to analyze justice too much as a concept, because Fujimoto and me come from two totally different cultures.... Also Fujimoto just does whatever anyway, like it's more about the vibe than a deep set philosophy. Then again Makima was pure domination in every sense of the world, so we shouldn't underestimate this story

Was Yuko fighting a complete possession? Also she's confirming here that yeah, Justice is at school looking for something.

Asa but you deserve to laugh, it's absolutely hilarious ajajsjs

Never promise to give back something like that... It's manga curse

That man is way more muscular than Yoshida c'mon, i don't think it'll be him but welp, we have to wait

Chainsaw Man part 2: Chainsaw Men

I like the art style a lot but the shadows are a bit distracting, they look too cartoony.... What's the point of that? Maybe it just looks cool

#csm spoilers #csm manga spoilers #chainsaw man #izzy.txt #anyway we're ready for today's episode sjsjsksks #words

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shadowi8 · 2 years

Text

I had an internal conflict regarding FS 2 yesterday morning and wrote something about it. I guess I should warn you that it has spoilers(?

And it's pretty long too

I did this to feel better and take it off of my chest so yeah, you dont have to read it if you dont want to

I remember that the first day I saw it everything was fine. The problem started after the scene where MakoHaruRin are lying by the pool that was conveniently in a cafe(?

I thought something was wrong because the spoilers had me thinking some specific things were to happen

After that I couldn't enjoy it one bit anymore. Yes, I made jokes and everything, like normal, but I felt something strange. More than anything my problem was with Makoto. Like something in him didn't quite fit me.

On the way home I thought how sad it was that Makoto's dialogue had clearly been curtailed. And that distracted me so much that I couldn't process the rest.

I even mentioned this to my friend, and she told me that she didn't see anything, but it was because she was fixated on Rin.

I got discouraged because that problem with Makoto kept bothering me, and after thinking and thinking, I realized that I couldn't even enjoy the rest of the movie just because of this.

So I saw it the next day too, because I couldn't stay like this. Free! it's everything for me and I couldn't feel so bad about the ending because of something I attributed to the influence of spoilers.

Her, the one badly obsessed with an anime of men swimming and of dubious sexual orientation.

The second time I saw it, I really enjoyed it. I pushed all the spoilers and expectations as far from my mind to see if I could see something else. And I did.

It's not perfect, of course not. It has some things that made me say ah:

The fact that Rin told Haruka that he admired him again.

Getting Albert's father visiting Iwatobi.

The very subtle glimpse of Ryuji's friend whose name I don't remember.

That Ryuji said that he was going to save Kaede, but then nothing happens

The lack of more background for Rei, Nagisa and Gou.

That clear lack of dialogue from Makoto. This, more than anything, is the one that makes me feel the saddest even now.

I also missed Kisumi 🥺 I didn't appreciate you bb when i had you

BUT there were a lot of things I enjoyed as well:

The scenes in which they appear in the cinema (ironic) are very cool.

Haruka healing his inner child who has always been hurting for many reasons touched me a lot.

Especially because Haruka is my baby, my child, my little boy 😫🥺 Also, I saw people saying that this one or that one is the villain, but for me the final boss, the real villain of Haruka is Haruka. Blessed be KA who at least sent him to rehab because I've been wanting him to go for YEARS to therapy because Haruka is anything but fine, without discussing if he is depressed or not, or if he is autistic or not, or if he has whatever. He is wrong and let's leave it there.

The fact that Makoto told Haruka that "the you who is free is the one I like the most" was also very nice for me

It's not like Haruka reacted by blushing or something, but at least I saw that it stuck in his mind and that means to me that it's something important.

The fact that Rin went all pissed off to argue with Ryuji for putting Haruka to rest and then Ryuji told him all the bad things he have been doing to his face was satisfying for me. I love Rin, cute boy, but sometimes he does really stupid things and someone needed to put a "stay still" on him and I'm so glad he thought it over(? Although we go back to the fact that he told Haruka that he admires him when it's something we already knew. But then we have Haruka who realizes that okay, Rin left him traumatized, but he also taught him several things

I like how everyone always had Haruka at an altar and everyone said he was a "Hero", but we see that he is not. Haruka is as human as any of them and I like that it's not just one of them (as was the case with Asahi in HS when Haruka passed out) the one to notice

And it is when everyone tries to return the favor not only out of moral duty(? To settle accounts(? But out of genuine love for him (as a friend or partner you decide I am not going to discuss this in this post or in any other) that my heart was crushed.

Haruka is a bit like Makoto. He's not fully aware of the positive effect he has on people or how cool he is, and I don't think he cares either (? As long as he's not having a negative effect on others he's fine (?

I liked that the relay was Sou, Rin, Ikuya and Haruka. It's as if Haruka is closing cycles with his biggest problems (including him because he is the BIGGEST of his problems. Give him therapy and let him go)

I liked the scene of Makoto giving him the last push

I really liked Ryuji as a character, although he also needs therapy.

I liked that Haruka finally found his way to himself and got his freedom. Taking breaks from competitions is very important and intelligent to me

I liked that it ended with Haruka and Rin because for me they will always be the protagonists. And that they finally, FINALLY, are in good terms is everything

Ikuya and Rin winning medals. Sousuke swimming again and competing with Rin. Natsuya proud of his little brother

And yes, I even liked that Asahi had bumps in his career as an athlete. Maybe I would have liked to see a little more, but yes. No matter how hard you try or how talented you are, sometimes it's not enough.

I liked the scenes with the grandmother although they are not as great a thing. I liked the detail of the misangas (?

I liked that Haruka was finally independent of everyone, except himself xd but hey, you can't do much with that

I liked that they showed Haruka's letter that he made together with Rei, Nagisa and Makoto in high school

Perhaps it is more of the same as the other productions, but I am a simple woman to please.

I also want to clarify that I miss the best time distribution of each character a bit. But it doesn't bother me that much either, except for the Makoto thing in FS 2

Damn it 😫 I knew they were going to reduce Makoto's dialogues, but I still got sad

I know Tatsu wasn't right, but I don't feel like he should be punished either. No more than they divorced him at most 👀 but nothing is up to us qjbdns

Anyway I enjoyed every second I saw my love Makotito. Makoto could be only on the cover and I would adore him as if the whole movie was just him (? but I also feel that Makoto's scenes are still important to Haruka.

I think I did like it a lot, I could even say that I loved it but it's hard to me to accept that it's the end, and I have to be honest that I was expecting even more from this movie regarding some characters (Gou, Nagisa, Rei, Ryuji and his friend, and of course Makoto)

But no, i dont want another movie nor season. Maybe I can accept an OVA or something but it must be centered on Nagisa, Gou, Rei, Ryuji, Kaede and Albert.

For me, I cant say it is perfect, but it's really good. I loved it, I enjoyed it but I still have to process some things about it. It's a good end, i believe

This helped me to feel i little bit better about all this end thing.

I still miss my boys and loved them, and I love Free!

#free! the final stroke #free! the final stroke spoilers #a very personal analysis about the movie #and my feelings about it

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edgelordteach · 2 years

Note

Ooh, please do elaborate on why vimes/vetinari is a great ship but not for canon! When I read your post I immediately agreed, but then realised I couldn't quite explain to myself why—so you putting that into words would be A+

Thanks! let’s see if I can put it into words. I’m not sure exactly if I can explain it well (I am very good at rambling but not so good at being comprehensible). Also, of course, this is my opinion and I don’t want to act like I’m the authority on this because I am absolutely not.

Before we start this was written over the course of a couple tired hours, I’m not sure if it will make sense or if I’m missing something, or even if my opinion will change the more I think about it. I very well might add on, or amend to this answer at some point but for not let’s-a go-!

So Vetinari and Vimes are really great characters, I absolutely love them both. Vetvimes is a pretty great ship, it definitely lives in my mind rent free. However, unlike some pieces of media where it feels like a ship going canon would make the story, theme, plot, characters, etc stronger and it not going canon is a major disappointment, I think an explicit relationship between the two wouldn’t exactly work within the canon. (Please don’t think of this as me dunking on the pairing, as stated I adore these two, I’m just elaborating on this point)

Vetinari and Vimes are somewhat meant to represent the best you can get for their respective positions, and this is a big part of their characters (Vimes’ especially). Vimes is a good copper (an oxymoron, I know). He wants to be what a copper should be in an ideal society, and makes a conscious effort to be the best copper he can be in a realistic society. A big part of his character is the conflict between his moral responsibility as a policeman, and his more human desire to deal with things in his own way, even if they’re morally dubious, (I believe Nigh Watch is the culmination of this idea but all the books deal with it to some extent), the conflict between his idealism and his cynicism. His character arc involves a lot of restraint, the keeping tabs on his actions so he doesn’t cross the line; he may not be a perfect person like Carrot but he sure as hell is trying to be the most moral policeman he can be. And that means following the rule of law when it’s just, it means being accountable for his actions. Following this idea of accountability, it is very important that Vimes has to answer to his government, which is Vetinari. He keeps himself in check but he also relies on Vetinari, among others, to do so (a good example of this in action that scene at the end of jingo that I’m not going to spoil but I hope you know it).

Vetinari’s character is meant to contrast with those that came before him in that he allows himself no personal indulgences. He’s an ideal autocrat in that he devoted himself pretty much entirely to running his state as best he can. Running it the best he can, being better than winder and snapcase seem to be his core motivation as a character. Having Vimes around becomes extremely important because Vimes can now keep him from crossing the line. Vimes could arrest Vetinari if Vetinari messed up, just as Vetinari could demote or even fire Vimes if Vimes crossed the line. These characters rely on each other to keep them in check. Vimes has to answer to his government, Vetinari has to answer to the law. That’s the point that they are working towards throughout the watch books. They have a responsibility to the city as powerful public figures to not mess things up and to keep each other (and everyone else in a position of power) in check.

A romantic relationship between the two would undercut this idea. If the two most powerful men in ankh morpork were romantically involved they could no longer be trusted to hold the other accountable because they have a personal agenda. This doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t still be able to perform those roles (as carrot says, personal is not the same as important), but the way it would appear on the surface would be the same regardless of them as individuals. They wouldn’t just be Vimes and Vetinari together but the Patrician and the commander of the Watch. This would somewhat interfere with the message that pterry conveys about accountability of those in positions of power (who watches the watchman and such). Now I’m not saying that this topic wouldn’t be fun to explore, the intersect and conflict of romance, politics, and power. I think it’d be really interesting if looked at deeply, but I’m not sure if the watch books is the place to so it. Also it’s important to note that pterry never seemed particularly interested in writing romance. When romance did pop up in his books it was very rarely the focus. A relationship as nuanced as this one would be requires a lot of time and detail devoted to it in order for it to even make sense. I’m sure he could do it, I’m not sure he would have really wanted to. I think that a romantic relationship would clash with the characterization he already established for the both of them. As stated above, both of them want to serve the city the best they could and I think both of them would be very aware that a relationship would be somewhat of a risk to the city.

To be completely honest I also think that even wanting a relationship would be sort of out of character for Vimes. I think I’d he had feelings he would definitely find some way to repress them mightily, and even if he realized them, I think his loyalty to Sybil is too strong, and even if she said it was okay, Vimes would still see it as something that’s unacceptable given their respective positions. I think Vetinari would be closer to realize his attraction and I think that he’s more interested in Vimes that Vimes is in him but again I think he’d view a relationship with Vimes as a risk, an indulgence, and that could be used as a weapon against him.

All of this things definitely aren’t reasons why it’s a bad ship but they are reason’s why I don’t think they would work well in the canon. There would be a lot of effort needed to develop this relationship and still be able to stick to message about the accountability of authority figures and as much as it would be interesting to see, I’m glad that we got the series we did.

But this also means that there’s tons of room for fanworks! These characters are very complex and a relationship between them would be super interesting for all the reasons above. Fan fiction is a great place to explore that relationship. We love to see it!

PS: in case anyone was interested, in my personal interpretation of this relationship, it’s very one-sided. I like to read Vetinari as a gay man, I also like to project my feelings as a homosexual on to fictional characters and so my personal interpretation of him is somewhat lonely. I like to interpret him as being in love with Vimes since about Men At Arms, but also being painfully aware that that love won’t be reciprocated. Don’t ask me why, maybe I am just evil. I made a pretty incomprehensible post about something similar to this.

I hope this answers your question. If it doesn’t then I hope it at least leaves you with more questions than before.

#I apologize if this isn’t super eloquent #I feel like I left out a lot of the points I had #I might revise this later #I also want to reiterate how much I really adore this ship #because here it feels kind of like I’m dunking on it and really I am not #I like these two I just don’t think there was room form them in the canon #discworld #vetvimes #havelock vetinari #sam vimes

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fairestwriting · 3 years

Note

Octatrio pining for a singular S/O? Or maybe Jade gifting terrariums to people? I have a lot of Octavinelle ideas ha

pining octatrio scenario for the soul. love these morally dubious fish men. i hope you like my interpretation of this ksdjkskd

prompt: octavinelle pining for the same person.

word count: 1114

Mostro Lounge is as lively as usual, the clinking of glasses and silverware against plates echoing around you as you flip through your textbooks, the white noise helping you focus on the content at hand.

You’d been there for a while today, exams were coming up, and you really didn’t want to mess up this time. It turned out that the lounge was the place where it was easier for you to focus, so you’ve become quite the regular recently.

It wasn’t a place without its distractions, though -- They came every now and then, making you look up from your books and notes, losing your train of thought.

“Excuse me,” Coincidentally, it seemed to be the time for one of these distractions -- Jade Leech walks up to you gracefully, a couple menus in his arms. Was he working today? He hadn’t greeted you yet. “Would you perhaps like something to drink? You’ve been here for quite a while.”

“Ah, I’ve had one already.” You answer almost immediately. Jade and you didn’t really talk that much, but you saw him often, and whenever you did, he’d hover over you like this -- It’s sort of strange, you can never tell what he has going on in his head, unsettlingly. But he’s always so polite, it’s hard to deny that he could be really charming...

Jade chuckles lightly. “Yes, you did an hour and some ago. But that’s a bit too long, isn’t it? You shouldn’t go thirsty.” He speaks, and opens the menu in front of you. “Won’t you choose something for me to bring to you? I’ll give you a discount if it means you take care of yourself.”

A discount? Azul wouldn’t like that. Now that he said it, though, it’d been a while since you had anything to drink. He pushes the menu towards you a little.“W-Well, I guess it’s fine, then.” You mutter, always caught off guard by how he gives you attention. It’s hard to imagine that someone like Jade would, so suddenly, grow fond of you. You flip through the menu shortly before choosing a drink.

“Excellent choice.” Jade praises, still with that unflappable smile. “I’ll be back shortly. Be sure to take breaks.”

“R-Right! Thank you...”

Jade really was... a surprisingly nice guy.

With your evening just a little brightened, you’re about to go back to the books. Before that can happen, though, the second Leech brother rushes towards your table in a flash.

“Shrimpy!” Floyd sing-songs, hopping onto the plush seat in front of yours. “Hi there! I didn’t see you today!”

These Octavinelle students sure are energetic today, you think with a quiet laugh. “Hi, Floyd.” You greet back. “Sorry we can’t talk much, I really gotta study.”

“Eh, that’s so boring.” He whines, but the smile stays on his face as he tilts his head, mismatched eyes watching you closely. "Don't you wanna hang out with me? There's something outside the dorm I wanna show you!"

A tempting offer, really, but all your books glare at you -- You glance at them for a bit, genuinely considering it, but ultimately shake your head

"No, sorry. I'm screwed if I don't do well in these." You say, regrettably. Floyd pouts. "Maybe after the exams though?"

"I wanna hang out with Shrimpy now, though." He whines, cheek resting on one of his hands. Before you notice it, his free hand reaches forward, towards a lock of your hair, and he brushes your bangs off your face casually. Your shoulders stiffen, face heating up. "Pretty please? I promise you it'll be really fun!"

"U-Um." You stutter. Floyd was always touchy, but it never failed to catch you off guard. You have to avert your eyes from his, feeling way too close to just giving in. "S-Sorry, Floyd, I promise that later we'll--"

"Floyd!" Suddenly, Azul's exasperated voice fills the scenario, he marches towards your table. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the kitchen today!"

"I don't feel like it, though." He complains. His hand near you lingers just for a bit, sort of cold agaisnt your warm cheeks before it drops. "I worked every day this week already! I'm not doing it today."

"Frankly, you..." Azul sighs, pushing his glasses up with a defeated expression. There's no use arguing with Floyd, everyone knows that, he just does what he wants. "Fine. I expect you to make up for this whenever you're working again, though."

"Yeah, whatever." He giggles "I guess I'm gonna be by myself then, since Shrimpy can't come with me...so sad~"

He's getting up to leave when Azul seems to finally notice your presence, perking up at the sight.

"Oh, my apologies, I didn't see you there!" He says quickly, light pink dusted over his cheeks. "Has Floyd caused you any problems? He can be so troublesome when he wants to..."

"Don't worry about it, he just wanted to hang out." You shrug. Azul nods at that, patting down his jacket like he needed to make sure there were no wrinkles -- He acted so frantic sometimes.

"That may be troublesome, though, since you're studying right now, am I right?" He speaks, taking a step closer to inspect the books on your table. "Are you having a hard time with these? I'm able to tutor you, if you need to."

Being in debt to Azul is never a good idea. "Um, no, I don't really have anything to offer for that. Thank you, though." Somehow, this doesn't seem to discourage him much -- Though he averts his eyes, weirdly, as he adjusts the hat on his head.

"W-Well, it's a simple task, I wouldn't require any compensation for that." It comes out a little mumbly, contrasting Azul's usual poise. He won't look you in the eyes now. "I...If you don't believe me, I'll sign something for you!"

"Ah, well." You mutter, unsure of how to reply. "I mean, I'm doing okay with these, but if I need help later, then..."

His face lights up quickly. "Wonderful. I'll be happy to help." He almost beams at you, a small laugh leaving him after he speaks. "I'll leave you to it now, but if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to contact me!"

"Sure, thank you, Azul." It seems that you'd be able to get back to your studying soon. Hopeful, you pick up the textbook you were looking at before. "You're actually a kind person, huh."

"N-Naturally." And he averts his eyes again, cheeks pinker. "I'll...I suppose I'll leave now. I'll see you around."

"See you!"

You watch him leave for a moment. These Octavinelle students sure were strange, huh?

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst scenarios #twst imagines #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #lis writing

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jeweled-blue-eyes · 2 years

Note

ohhh pls share your unpopular opinions 🥺

- Athy is an introvert

- Lily and Felix have no chemestry

- LP Jennette is prettier than wmmap Athy

- Athy and Lucas are not in love. They are just two lonely people with similar traumas who feel alienated from others because of their talents/abilities/knowledge and seek comfort in each other.

- I suspect novel Ijekiel wouldn’t have cared about Athy’s death had he not been in love with her. According to spoon one of manhwa Ijekiel’s traits is being just. Even if he had not loved Athy he would have felt sorry for her death and felt guilt for how his family had wronged her, but I think novel Ijekiel would have shrugged and moved on. Idk novel Ijekiel just hits different from the few quotes I could read. He wasn’t just or had empathy with the weak. If he was willing to let his bestie die in the ditch for coming in between him and the thing he wanted (Athy), would 1st timeline Ijekiel have really have felt bad for the death of a stranger, especially if he wasn’t directly involved and the death of said stranger benefitted his family? Novel Ijekiel’s dubious morality is so fascinating. The fact that we barely know anything about him just makes him more interesting.

- Ijekiel is still the superior male lead and should’ve ended up with Athy

- BUT right now there is not enough build up for either romance. It would feel forced. Lucathy feels forced.

- erasing Lucas’ abusive childhood was a big mistake. I shouldn’t care, because spoon is erasing Lucathy parallels, yet I do care as I mourn the missed opportunity to add dephts to Lucas’ character

- Lucas would have found Jennette intriguing (especially novel Jennette), if it weren't for Pluto’s apparent dislike of Jennette's character. The reason why Lucas became interested in Athy in the first place was because she was different from the norm. Had he met Jennette instead of Athy in the garden it could have set the flag for Jennette/Lucas childhood friends to lovers.

- It is unclear if Athy would have made a better Empress than Jennette. Talent in foreign languages & poetry doesn't necessarily make you a qualified ruler. Similar to how Lucas' talent in magic didn't make him a good teacher either. Athy's great education can lay the foundation for her to become a capable Empress, however, we don't know about Jennette's education and for example Athy's language skills don't really benefit her regarding politics as there are 1.) diplomats for a reason 2.) Athy doesn't seem to understand certain nuances. Hmm...how do I explain this. For example to language there is more than just the language. I remember a scene from the novel where Cabel (?) asked Athy for her handkierchief and the question indicated something romantic in Arlanta, but Athy obvlious to it asked Felix to give his handkierchief to Cabel which horrified both men. Now imagine if it had been the prince of Arlanta asking this and Athy answered the same. Imagine if the relationship between Arlanta and Obelia had been strained and not good. She would have insulted the heir of Arlanta, she would have insulted Arlanta itself. Even her guard Felix knew about the insinuation of the question. Athy was clearly lacking. ( Which leads me to -> Obelian's education system is flawed. and I suspect that the Obelian education is very self-centered. Btw I also headcanon Obelia to be imperialistic and I want it destroyed.)

About Jennette...manhwa Jennette would have definitely wanted to be a classic fairy tale princess like making laws to improve things for the poor. The question is whether Roger and Rosalia would have manipulated her (which they probably did), but to which degree was LP Jennette allowed to have freedom? As long as Roger ended up in the Obelias family register and Rosalia could fill her own pockets with gold they probably wouldn't have cared for laws that didn't hurt them.

- Claude would have fucked Athy the day of her debutante ball if he hadn’t realized that she was not Diana 02.

#*mic drop*#anon #answered asks

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mooniefics · 3 years

Text

in the grand scheme of things [ 3 ]

pairings : zeke jaeger / reader, referenced eren jaeger / reader

word count : 5.5k

tags : unhealthy relationships, relationship discussions, implied cheating, drinking, break ups, mutual infidelity, dubious morality, love triangles

warning : descriptions of alcohol and drug use

summary : you and eren hadn't been doing the best these past few months, and no one that you knew seemed to have any answers for you, or pointers in the right direction. who better to offer you some sound, insightful relationship advice than his older brother. or so you thought.

— originally posted 1 / 28 / 21 on ao3 —

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sasha 3:47 pm hey u down to party tonight?? jean told connie he could get us into another one of the azo parties again

you sighed at the sight of the notifications on your phone from its place on the passenger's seat, pensively drumming your fingers on your steering wheel. the most recent party of the most popular fraternity chapter on your campus you'd attended had been the last party you'd subjected yourself to attending—the halloween party where you'd gotten ditched out and subsequently cheated on. though you could admit that it had been fun in the moment, especially when you had caught the struggle between sasha and historia when she saw your roommate snap a picture of her kissing the standoffish sophomore that always helped her with her english lit homework, ymir, rather than the fraternity guy she was meant to be with.

the memory of that night, at least the time before you'd realized your boyfriend and his annoyingly attractive best friend were nowhere to be found, made you consider. classes did start back up next week, and the most eventful thing you'd done over the break was your quaint little family get-together for new year's eve—and your two rendezvous with zeke, meetings that you were slowly beginning to feel more and more skeptical about as time went on—and you were sure that your second semester would drown you in work just as much—if not more—than you'd had in your first semester. so as soon as you came to a stop at a red light, you picked your phone up to shoot her back a message, laughing to yourself when she replied instantly.

you 3:51 pm party on a wednesday? really?

sasha 3:51 pm come onnnn please??? i heard nikos gonna be there! ur rlly gonna make me go all alone??

so that was why she wanted to go, to see the foreign culinary major that somehow always managed to send her back to the dorm with a large plate of food and a blinding smile plastered on her face for at least the next hour. you were honestly surprised that they hadn't gotten together yet, considering how many common interests they'd shared.

a pleasant thought suddenly popped into your head, the thought that she was probably asking you because mikasa had already declined, meaning that she wouldn't be in attendance. armin was out in turkey with eren, ensuring his absence. that fact made you feel a bit less anxious about accepting sasha's invitation. you could catch up with the friends you'd been unable to see while you were off-campus—or too swamped with work to be able to reach out to—let loose one last time before you were trapped back in the monotonous cycle of working, sleeping, crying, and eating for the next couple months until spring break. your mind had been made up.

you 3:52 pm fine. i'll go as moral support. but no promises u won't have to babysit after you've had ur fun with nikolo this break has been rough for me lol

sasha 3:53 pm oh god my i loveyou so much already picking out our outfits

you chuckled to yourself, slipping your phone into the cupholder as the brake lights of the car in front of you flashed off and you eased your foot onto the gas. you made it back to the dorm relatively quickly, sasha more than elated to see you even though you didn't have any food to bring back for her. and just as her text message had read, she'd already laid out one of your nicer dresses and a set of heels that didn't absolutely kill your feet by the end of the night by your bed, digging through the closet with a pile of discarded clothes growing on the floor.

"thanks sash," you giggled, "but don't you think it's a little to be getting ready? what time's the party?"

"connie told me seven-thirty, but jean said for us to come an hour later so we aren't the only ones there." she spoke over her shoulder, huffing as she tossed another piece of clothing aside, "but i wanna look good! i'm gonna hop in the shower as soon as i find the right thing to wear."

holding out your dress before you, you frowned. it was simple, black and made of a sheer, clingy material with lace accents decorating the low neckline, thin straps that bared the entirety of your shoulders and a modest amount of cleavage. it was one of your favorites, but the half-healed bruises scattered across the skin that would be exposed by it wasn't ideal.

"oh, don't forget to take a cheap coat that you don't mind forgetting. it's kinda chilly out, and i always end up losing track of mine during the night."

you let out a breath of relief, remembering that covering up a bit more would be weather appropriate. "yeah, i'll wear a long-sleeved undershirt and something light on top." perfect.

you waited until sasha had gathered her toiletries and scurried off to the nearest bathroom to change clothes, feeling your face heat up at the thought of zeke, the initial deep pigmentation having faded out over the last two days but still a very visible shade of faint red. you were fully dressed upon your roommate's return, earning an excited slew of compliments from her as she wrapped up her hair in a towel and settled down beside you to get started on her makeup.

you were actually grateful for how early she'd insisted on getting ready considering how long she'd agonized over her eyeliner, or how many times she'd applied and removed her lashes, complaining that "something was off" or "it just didn't look right". your suggested time of arrival came in no time at all, and by then sasha was more than eager to start rushing you despite the pace she'd been moving at earlier.

"hurry!! if niko brings food, i don't wanna get there by the time it's all gone!" she whined, jiggling the doorknob to your room impatiently, "for the thanksgiving party, he brought a charcuterie board with all these nice cheeses on it and it was so good, he looked so happy watching me eat it, it was so cute!"

you chuckled softly at her enthusiasm, shoving the last of your things into your clutch, zipping up your phone in the small inner pocket to insure that you didn't drop it and forget on the floor of someone's house this time. "i'm sure that even if we got there late, he'd set aside plenty of food for you."

the walk to the fraternity's designated house was made much shorter by sasha's insistence, practically dragging you along by the wrist the whole way at a near jog. you couldn't deny that you were feeling a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, knowing that you would have sasha, connie, and jean at the very least, but unaware as to what you would really do besides mill around. at the halloween party, you'd been able to play the variety of drinking games that had been set out for the guests with eren and his friends, but now you weren't entirely sure who to stick to for the majority of the night.

you didn't want to bother jean or connie after they'd gotten secured you an invite, and you were sure that sasha was expecting to be able to spend some time alone with the guy she'd came to see in the first place, meaning you'd have to spend a majority of the night alone, or the unfavorable option of mingling with unfamiliar people. but you realized that was a pill you'd have to swallow as you approached the steps of the house, nearly tripping up over your feet from the speed that sasha was hauling you along at, watching her furiously knock at the door.

there were people wandering about in the yard, some on their phones, most likely waiting for their own friends to arrive, and a smoky stench of something that definitely wasn't just tobacco wafting from the group of men camped out on the porch murmuring amongst each other. you could hear the volume of the music inside the house, almost able to feel it thrumming across the floor if you focused enough.

"thomas!" she exclaimed at the sight of a younger-looking blonde boy when the door opened, whose existence you honestly had no idea about until just now, grinning so broadly it made your own cheeks hurt for her, "jean invited us!"

"oh, come right in." he beamed right back, calling loudly over his shoulder, "yo, jean, your friends are here!"

the inside of the house looked just as you expected, already crowded to max capacity, jean having to maneuver past the throng of people gathered near the front to approach the two of you. "damn, i feel like i haven't seen you in forever." he did his best to speak over the music, wrapping you up in a friendly squeeze, "glad to see you could finally make it." he turned to sasha. "niko's already in the kitchen, by the way. asked when you were coming just a few minutes ago."

sasha's face lit up with glee, turning to you, silently asking for permission to go off on her own as if you could ever deny her and her overly-eager expression. "go get 'em, tiger." you smiled, giving her a few pats on her shoulder to send her off on her way, watching her disappear into the crowd in record time.

but before apprehension of her absence could set in, you felt jean's arm sling around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. "c'mon, you didn't think i was gonna ditch out and let you hang alone all night?" you giggled, turning your head up to look at him properly for the first time.

you'd first met jean in your statistics class, an unfortunate requirement for your major of choice, and initially bonded over your mutual connection through sasha. they'd been good friends in high school, and you'd just moved into a room for at least the next year with her, so you figured it'd do you well to have someone who could get you in her good graces in the event that you two didn't get along. but, thankfully, you two were just fine on your own, and sasha and jean became your first friends outside of the small group you and eren shared.

the only real conflict of interest between the two of you seemed to be your aforementioned boyfriend, and you couldn't really be upset at him for that. eren could be difficult to get along with even at the best of times, he wasn't a terrible person—at least before he'd cheated—but he wasn't exactly the most friendly either.

"is this piercing new?" you asked, reaching up to brush your thumb over the small earring hugging the shell of jean's ear.

"yeah, got it for new year's. pretty hot, right?" you snorted, earning a grin from him, "by the way, if you need to use the bathroom just tell me, the one on the main floor is fucking filthy. and also probably has no toilet paper."

"will do." you could feel the tension ebbing away in his company, at least when you ignored the annoyed glances other girls were sending your way when they noticed his arm around you, "so, what's on the menu for tonight?"

"well, we probably have every kind of alcohol known to man," he said, leaning down to speak into your ear as he began to guide you through the crowded first floor, "beer kegs are out back, junk food and all the inexpensive shit is in the kitchen." he stopped at the opening to a hallway, smile evident in his voice. "but i'm feeling pretty generous tonight, so if you want some of the good stuff we have stashed, just say the word."

"wow, such a gentleman. do you say that to every girl that comes in?" you playfully replied, thankfully far enough away from the music now that you didn't have to talk at nearly a shout.

"only the ones i like." he added a terribly over-exaggerated wink, earning another small laugh from you, "so, what'll it be? vodka, tequila, or triple sec?"

you blinked up at him. "that's it? when you said 'good stuff', i imagined a little more variety."

"beggars can't be choosers, sweetheart. and anyways we're a frat, not a restaurant, so either take your pick or go enjoy some cheap wine while you watch nikolo and sasha drool over each other."

you rolled your eyes, feigning anger in the face of his attitude, huffing out your answer. "surprise me then, frat boy."

"good answer." he said with a grin, "wait here."

he disappeared down the hall, leaving you to stare in silence at the wall before you and listen to the barely muffled sounds of the party going on just a few meters away. you opened up your clutch to fish out your phone, opening it to find your text conversation still open, catching a glimpse of connie's name. you felt a little guilty that you'd almost forgotten about his expected presence, seeing as he had messaged you and you hadn't heard anything from sasha or jean yet. you decided to shoot him a quick text letting him know that you and sasha had arrived, not surprised when he didn't respond as quickly as he usually did, knowing that he was already wrapped up in getting high out of his mind somewhere here or doing so elsewhere.

you opted to kill time tapping through your feed, making it a point to quickly scroll past any posts with armin's handle attached to them. the thought of eren having fun halfway across the world was both pleasant and disheartening at the same time. you felt stupid for still clinging on to the second thoughts about ending things the second he got back. sure, all the dots connected suspiciously well to create a picture that led to the clear conclusion of cheating, but eren wasn't good at hiding things. you remembered the time in your junior year when he'd barely been able to keep your surprise party that your friends had organized you a secret before one of them slipped up about it and exonerated him from blame, and you couldn't help but ask yourself if he was really capable of hiding such a terrible deed when he couldn't even conceal the harmless types of secrets from you.

the more confrontational part of you said that that was ages ago, that both you and him had changed so much since your time in high school, and maybe one of those changes was what made him put so much distance between the two of you these last months rather than hang around you and risk airing out his dirty laundry. you knew you should be angry with him, you would be more than right to be angry with him, but you force yourself to stop clinging to the simpler times, the days when he'd look at you like you'd put the stars in the sky and said all he ever wanted to do was be around you. you couldn't believe how much had changed in so little time.

"ta-da!" jean's voice interrupted your self-pity, a tall plastic cup suddenly occupying your vision, "long island iced tea for the lady. with a straw."

"christ, jean, are you trying to kill me?" you guffawed, taking the cup from him anyways, "my first real party in months and this is what you start me off with?"

"at least give it a try! after i took all that time to make it for you.." he furrowed his brows at you, only relaxing after you took a tentative sip. it was surprisingly not as strong as you thought it would be, a little on the sweeter side, but it served as a good distraction for the burn of five different alcohols sliding down your throat. "pretty good, isn't it?"

"meh. five out of ten." you snarked, giggling around the straw between your lips.

"typical," he lamented, clutching his hands over his heart, "all you and sasha ever do is use me."

"don't lie to yourself, jean. you love us."

you didn't know if it was the dim lighting casting a shadow over his face, but you could swear that you saw his cheeks flush at your assertion. "anyways.. speaking of love, you still dating that asshole? eric?"

"eren." you corrected, laughing at the error, "and, well, it's complicated."

"complicated? then i'm assuming he fucked up big time, considering he's not even here with you this time around."

you took a long sip of your drink, fiddling with the bendy part of your straw, the thought of his infidelity weighing heavily on your heart. "well he'd probably be here if he wasn't out of town, he's been planning to take his trip for a while now.."

jean shot you a displeased look. "i seriously don't know how you put up with that guy, you're selling yourself short honestly. planning on breaking up with him anytime soon?"

you cast your gaze to the floor, thankful that the warmth of the alcohol in your stomach was helping to ease the cool hollowness settling deep into your chest. "oh hush. you don't even know the whole story, jean."

"well i know enough. if you're in the market for any new guys, i'll scout out someone nice for you." you scoffed at his offer, but didn't outright deny it either, unable to help smiling along with him when he smirked and nodded over to the party in the other room, "now, come play me in beer pong, then you'll really have something to complain about."

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

zeke could confidently say that his night had been utterly unremarkable.

another quiet day spent working at the library, where he'd actually glanced at the door more times than he was willing to admit with the hope that it would be you walking in. he'd actually been quite tempted to message you, to ask what you were doing, if you had anywhere between two and three so that maybe he could see you, but he'd ultimately decided against it. he couldn't quite figure out the exact cause of his newly-found infatuation with you, but the rationality of it didn't concern him as much as it probably should've, he was simply pleased to relive the very recent memories of your encounters together and anticipate your next meeting—at least until his younger brother returned.

eren had attempted to goad a reaction out of him with an assortment of unsavory texts calling him just about every name in the book, a constant stream of questions asking why he did it, or what he'd done to deserve such a thing, and even a few desperate pleas begging him to say that it wasn't really you. of course, he'd ignored all of them, and he wondered if eren was trying to contact you as well, knowing that you wouldn't be able to see the messages even if that was the case, though still curious nonetheless.

but for the moment, he was lounging at his usual downtown bar, seated in a booth beside reiner and across from porco at their rescheduled night out, since both marcel and porco were unable to make it yesterday, the latter sulking after his noisy attempt to flag down the waitress ended in failure.

"is marcel actually gonna make it tonight?" reiner asked, plucking a stick of celery from the appetizer platter in the middle of the table.

"no clue." porco replied, sipping his mojito, "said he got caught up at work again, so either the let down text is gonna come any minute now, or he's gonna show up for an hour and then disappear."

zeke chuckled. "post-marriage life sure is tough, i guess."

"you can say that again. he's always calling me, freaking about the idea of kids and his mortgage and stuff that i didn't even think about until he complained about it, scary shit."

"you say that like you're not two years away from being his age."

porco began what was sure to be one of his smart-ass replies, but the waitress had finally approached their booth, hiding her annoyance with his friend with a forced smile as she took the orders for their entrées. zeke pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans when he felt it buzz, feeling the slightest hint of disappointment by the fact that it wasn't you.

"who is it? your new girlfriend?" reiner grumbled, smirking when porco shot up in his seat.

"girlfriend?!" he exclaimed far too loudly.

"yup. zeke didn't tell you he's dating a high-schooler?"

so much for "your business", zeke thought to himself. "oh, fuck off. she's in college." he frowned at his roommate, only met with another tired expression of disappointment.

"just barely." reiner turned back to the man across the table, "it's one of his brother's ex-girlfriends too."

porco stared at him incredulously, eyes wide and judgmental, falling back against the cushion of the seat with a low whistle. "shit zeke.. that's kinda fucked up, don't you think?" he seemed uncomfortable by the unexpected revelation, "you're almost thirty and you're screwing around with someone who's probably not even twenty? is this an afraid-of-getting-old thing? mid-life crisis??"

"she's an adult, she can make her own choices." zeke didn't appreciate the sudden scrutiny, finishing off his old fashioned in the hopes that the bourbon would wash away the self-conscious feeling settling unpleasantly in his gut, "not my fault that her choice happens to be wanting to be around me rather than the guys her age."

"what ever happened to you and pieck? she's hot—"

"and actually over the legal drinking age."

both porco and zeke pointedly ignored reiner's interaction as the former continued. "—i thought it was working out between you two.. what happened?"

zeke shrugged. "just wasn't the right fit for me. but you liked her, didn't you? before we had our thing." he looked up at his friend, forcing a casual grin, "maybe you could give that shot now."

he felt a bit more at ease seeing porco's ears and cheeks flush red, now fiddling with the lime garnish on the rim of his glass. "we still talk here and there.. i don't really know much about what she's up to these days."

before he could answer with more words of encouragement that detracted from the previous, morally-incriminating topic, his phone began to vibrate, and he felt his heart leap into his throat at the sight of your name on the screen. "sorry, gotta take this."

he tugged on his jacket and slid out of the booth, ignoring reiner's chastising glance and porco's bewildered look, passing the waitress who was now carrying a platter with their food and refills on his way out. the cool night breeze was refreshing in comparison to the awkward, almost cramped atmosphere that had developed over their discussion, his breath coming is foggy puffs in the chilled, january air as he pressed the answer button. immediately upon raising the phone to his ear, he was met with a blurred assortment of background noise, able to discern the muffled sound of music and the sound of footsteps outside of whatever room you were in.

"hello?"

"oh, zeke, you answered!!" he could hear in your voice that you were clearly intoxicated, much more than you had been when you were at his house, words stringing together and ending syllables unnecessarily drawn out.

he felt uncharacteristically worried at the realization that you were at a party, one that sounded quite large and crowded, most likely crawling with unsavory individuals that he knew prowled around those sorts of events when he himself was in college. "are you alright? where are you right now? do you need me to pick you up?"

zeke was already digging around in his coat pocket to check if he had his keys, more than prepared to take off without his meal or saying goodbye to his friends inside. "'m at a party on campus, 's okay. in the bathroom. just thinking."

zeke didn't feel eased at all at the sound of loud knocking coming from somewhere, hearing you becoming distant for a moment as you presumably pulled the phone away from your ear to call out that the bathroom was occupied. there was shuffling on the other line, then silence for a short moment. "can i ask you something?"

zeke frowned. the idea of not being able to know who was monitoring you in this state wasn't sitting well with him. "go ahead."

"but don't call me stupid, ok? i already know it's a stupid question, but i still wanna ask it."

"there's no such thing as stupid questions." he assured you, ignoring the buzz of a text notification, most likely porco or reiner telling him to come back in before the burger he ordered got cold.

"do i really have to break up with eren?"

zeke felt something odd flicker in his chest, that unfamiliar feeling he'd felt when he caught you staring at you and his brother's one-sided chat logs, but yet the affirmative answer he thought he would be able to give with no problem sat on the tip of his tongue, undelivered. he thought back to that face reiner had made when he told him who you were, and porco's hesitant words trying to rationalize his actions but ultimately failing to do so.

zeke didn't understand why he felt so conflicted all of a sudden. this was meant to be a simple ordeal, one where he got what he needed to teach eren a lesson and moved on with his life. but now here he was, concerned about your whereabouts, focusing hard enough on your muddled words that he managed to catch the wobble in your voice that betrayed your own state of emotional unrest. he realized a moment too late that he hadn't said anything, hearing a small sniffle on your end before we began speaking.

"god, i can't believe i said that out loud, you must really think i'm dumb r'now, but.. i just can't let go of what we had." he was sure that you were crying now. "i keep thinking about what you said, an' you're right. he's been an ass to me, he practically ignored me for, like, three months, probably fuckin' cheated on me with his hot best friend, so i can't understand why i just wanna keep trying to fix things... and its so confusing 'cause everyone just keeps telling me to enjoy myself an' have fun, but i have no idea what i even want anymore, and i don't even know what we are right now and i can't fuckin' believe i cheated on my boyfriend with his fuckin' older brother and i don't know what i'd ever do if he found out."

by the end of it, you were letting out small, hiccuped sobs, breath fast and uneven just as it had been the night he'd invited you over. he honestly didn't know what to say, listening to you cry, staring at the steam of his breath as it dissipated out into the night. you were a good person, someone who was undeserving of such treatment from either him or eren, but it was simply an unfortunate coincidence that you had been caught in the fray.

he took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts, preparing to deliver an affirmation similar to the one he'd given you a few days ago when you first laid all your relationship troubles out on the table, but there was a rapid, more insistent knocking at the bathroom door on your end. he could hear a female voice calling out your name, and the jiggling of the door knob.

"hold on," you paused, sniffling, "it's my roommate."

you steadied yourself enough to say that, tossing the phone somewhere before he heard the sound of the door unlocking. "there you are!! are you seriously wasted already? it's only, like, eleven?! why are you crying???" your roommate sounded tipsy, but nowhere near as intoxicated as you currently were, which eased zeke's initial worry, "jean! can you c'mere for a sec! wait, were you calling someone?"

there was a brief pause, and zeke could practically see your tiny nod and teary eyes in his head, then heels clicking over tile and the sound of the phone being lifted, followed by a hurried, "hey, this is her roommate! she's fine, gotta go!"

then silence, just him and the faint noise coming from inside the bar behind him. he didn't know what to think. from the sounds of it, it seemed like your friends were taking care of you for the time being, friends who names he vaguely remembered you speaking of when you'd been detailing your time at the halloween party—people that were unfamiliar to him, people he wasn't sure that he could trust. and a small part of him, a tiny voice at the back of his head, scoffed at his flimsy mask of worry that barely hid the true emotion, his possessive nature, driving his desire to go pick you up and bring you back to the apartment to take care of so you'd have to be there with him another morning with your thankful gazes and blunt, half-awake words.

he knew he was in no place to begin laying judgement at these unknown people in your life considering what he'd done, but it was an innate sort of feeling, the thought that always clouded his mind when he laid eyes on people that were younger than him, that he knew more than them, that somehow he would always be above them in an invisible hierarchy. that same feeling that he felt when he found himself looking down at you.

"zeke?" a warm, friendly voice broke him out of his thoughts, his eyes turning up from the ground to find a tired-looking marcel standing before him, "what are you doing out here by yourself?"

"smoke break." the lie slipped between his lips before he even thought of the fact that there was no cigarette between his fingers, no scent of smoke in the air or clinging to his clothes, "glad you could make it, everyone's inside. pretty sure porco already ordered you something."

but instead of immediately heading inside for zeke to come after him, marcel stood for a moment, lips drawing back and eyebrows knitting into a concerned expression. "is everything okay?"

zeke thought for a moment, giving a non-committal shrug in response.

"still having family troubles?"

despite having been quite fixated on his negative feelings revolving his own younger brother for the last few days, zeke had almost pushed out a majority of the sordid details of the entire situation out of his head, which now seemed to all flood back with such a short, simple question.

"you could say that." zeke scratched the back of his neck, now wishing he'd actually had a cigarette to take his mind off of all these turbulent thoughts, "all the arguing and shit subsided already, but..."

"anything from your dad?" marcel's voice was almost tentative asking that, frowning when zeke said nothing, "sorry.. didn't mean to be insensitive about it."

"it's not insensitive. just," he swallowed, tucking his phone back into his pocket and reaching out to push open the bar door, a silent, less embarrassing way to signal that he no longer wanted to talk about it anymore, "just kind of fresh. that's all."

they both stood in silence for a moment, marcel's eyes wandering his face, features expressing a clear concern, but thankfully, he didn't push the issue any further, simply following him inside like zeke wished he would've done minutes earlier to save him the trouble, proceeding to the booth housing their friends. the conversation didn't wander back to the topic of him and his morally dubious relations nor his current familial situation, much to his relief, making it much easier for him to just allow the conversation to flow around him, finding himself not having much of an appetite or desire to speak much with so much on his mind.

for a moment, zeke wondered to himself if this was a punishment from the universe, feeling so downtrodden on what was usually one of his more enjoyable nights in the week. not to say that they were always amazing to be around, but spending time with porco, reiner, marcel, and sometimes bertholdt made up most of the meaningful social interactions he had, and to have lost out on it today of all days just seemed like some odd form of karmic justice as a result of him behaving so selfishly.

but he held out for the rest of the evening anyways, going through more drinks that he probably should've, finding easier to tune in to porco and reiner's usual bickering, marcel's attempts to quell them, the ambient sound of bustling waiters and clinking glasses and plates to bury down any thought of you or his family or what was to come at the end of the week, the consequences with much more magnitude in his life than an just an unpleasant night out.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ: *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*

previous chapter⥽

#zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x you #snk zeke #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x reader smut #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x reader smut #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #m.nsfw

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kamuisthoughts · 3 years

Text

The Actual Rant:

I’m going to begin by saying that I think the ABO dynamic is interesting.

That being said I’ve noticed some recurring and very disturbing themes that are attached to this type of AU, regardless of what fandom you’re reading in. It makes sense to me that a universe where people have secondary genders and are more susceptible to animalistic instincts would have different types of societal issues. This being the disturbing themes I mentioned. The disregard of rape, the gender oppression, the objectification of certain genders, and various forms of dysphoria.

Obviously these themes are extremely dark and unsettling, but what’s worse is how the people that take it upon themselves to write about these things romanticize these horrific issues. Using them as a tool to build a parallel world that would cause the reader to think or reflect on our own society is one thing. That’s what I would like to read. But instead I come across these ABO AUs and find authors downplaying these abominable problems, making it seem as if it’s okay to have these sorts of things happening.

If you tell me beforehand what you intend to do okay, I can just avoid that.

But anyway there’s a difference between building a world with dark elements like these and presenting it as something that is truly disgraceful, but many people in the world do not care or fear fighting against it, and creating a world where it’s obvious that the writer is fetishizing these elements. You can completely change the tone of something depending on how issues are presented, how the characters react to their circumstances.

I hate to see rape happen in a story. I honestly feel it’s the most unforgivable, egregious thing you could do to a person beside murdering them. It’s a form of torture, and I honestly believe this, so it turns my stomach to see people writing stories where characters go through this awful thing, sometimes repeatedly and it’s not accurately addressed. There’s rarely lasting trauma if any. They just kind of take it, they don’t fight, they might even accept it just because the character doing it to them is objectively attractive and that is nauseating to me.

I also hate to see kidnappings and forced marriages in this type of AU, where the author tells you the main character is a “BAMF” or “Strong” individual but this is never actually displayed. Not mentally which I often respect to see in characters and not even hinted at physically either. They’ll maybe have a sassy mouth but still won’t really do anything when their abuser is hurting them. And this is usually moot since the main character oftentimes just simpers for their alpha abuser in the end. They’ll either be too scared to continue to mouth off or be too enamored by the alpha’s physical appearance and scent.

I also noticed Stockholm Syndrome is really common in these stories as well, (should the author actually deign to touch upon the immense trauma rape would cause a person), despite how rare this condition is in reality. This I find maddening. Now, I understand sometimes reality is so painful that someone needs to escape it through delusion so that they can function somewhat coherently. But the fact that there are so many stories where a character is kidnapped, ripped from their life, forced to mate with someone who doesn’t respect them as a fellow human being, raped, forcefully impregnated, and then somehow still falls in love with their abuser is utterly repulsive.

And the thing that really upsets me is the fact that I deliberately exclude tags in my search that denote rape/non-con, underaged, and major character death yet still I come across stories where these things are mentioned. Are happening. They’ll be in the story but not in a story’s tags and just glossed over. I’m not sure if this is deliberate or if some of the writers just don’t understand the magnitude of the themes they’re pushing but regardless I find this unacceptable.

If someone says no and you stick your penis inside of them anyway, that is rape. If you lull them into a false sense of security due to pheromones after they’ve said no and have sex with them, that is rape. If they give up fighting because they know it’s hopeless it’s still rape. I don’t care how physically desirable you are, or how good you smell, or if you feel it’s your “right” to take the other person because you managed to pin them down and you’re stronger. They said no, and even if they didn’t say “no” they didn't say yes .

If someone didn’t say they accepted your advances, that is not dubious consent. That. Is. Rape . And women can be rapists too. Let’s stop pretending that’s not a thing and that it’s not just as bad no matter what gender the attacker is. Can we not try to sugarcoat the horrible things people are writing about and call it “dubious” so people can feel better about romanticizing sexual abuse and getting off on it? Because even if you don’t call a spade a spade it’s still a damn spade.

Now let’s talk about fetishes. I hate when male characters are forcefully feminized when they don’t want to be. Like seriously, a male omega in this type of ABO story could literally say, “I’m a man, don’t call me a wife or a mother” and the other characters will just brush it off, they won’t even address it. They’ll continue to label him incorrectly, continue to treat him in ways that make him uncomfortable, and eventually he’ll just stop getting upset or annoyed and go along with it. This is NOT okay. This happens when a writer likes writing about feminine men.

There’s nothing wrong with a feminine man, that’s not what I’m saying. What’s wrong is when a man is overly sexualized because of his physical appearance and incorrectly labeled by others despite him stating what he identifies as. If you want to write about a gender fluid male omega, do that! Do not write about a male omega who identifies as male and call him a wife just because he can give birth. He is still a husband. He is a man and the other characters should be respecting that.

Then we have the fetishizing of birth or breeding in these AUs. This element of this AU has always been so creepy to me. (And I’m talking about FORCED breeding. Edit added because I didn’t specify this at first).

Omegas in these AUs are seen as the lowest of the low because they have heats, are softhearted, physically weaker, and motherly. Yet despite being chained to the bottom of the societal hierarchy they are objectified by other secondary genders. They are desired just enough for alphas and betas to want to breed with but they aren’t worth equal rights such as choosing their own “mate”, their job, or even walking down the street without fear of being forcefully mounted.

Seldom do I see this issue actually portrayed as an issue. The omegas in the story bat their eyelashes at alphas, and even manipulate them because they know that they are objectified. They aim to get claimed by “strong” and “virile” alphas and to have “beautiful pups”. Like, what?

But okay, I can see that.

You live a certain way you can get used to almost anything, but the fact that it’s rarely more than the main character who wants for more is astounding to me. I guess this is a writer’s way of hammering home how different and “before their time” they want their main character to be but it just comes off as forced, and the main character becomes a novelty. Alphas just want the main even more because they want to break them so they can force them into the role of a “good little omega”.

It angers me to see this type of world building with no consequences. There’s no simmering rage at the lack of justice and equality, there’s no conflict. It’s just, “omegas are cute and sexy and they smell nice”. This just makes all of the characters seem like morally bankrupt sex addicts who’re all some form of insane and I can’t stand it. But I’ll digress.

The true reason I decided to write this rant?

A story.

Yes, I came across a story and for some reason despite the harmless looking tags and my knowledge of how misleading this AU can be I clicked on it. I just wanted to see if I was being too harsh on the ABO AU, if someone could write a story in this type of universe that I could actually bear to read that wasn’t extremely hard to find. (Most of the fics in this AU I come across are the really dark ones).

So, I tried to read an ABO AU for MHA, and I'll tell you now I couldn’t even get beyond the fourth chapter. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Izuku was of course a rare male omega, born in a fantasy world where All Might bestowed upon him the powerful magic of One For All and then dipped. Of course despite having this power Izuku was still a weakling, even though the author tried to say he was strong willed and “unlike most omegas”.

Izuku had to hide his secondary gender. He lived as a quirkless beta with his mother. One day he stumbled across Katsuki, who declared Izuku his “true mate”. Despite Izuku saying he didn’t want to mate with him, Izuku was abducted and forced to be with him simply because it was what Katsuki wanted.

Izuku repeatedly said he didn’t want to be there, that he didn't want to be with this literal stranger, and that he didn’t have any desire to be a baby factory for him but was of course ignored. Long story short Katsuki got his way and Izuku eventually was down with it. Because Katsuki was handsome, well built, and smelled nice Izuku didn’t even bother to stay angry at the injustice of his own situation.

This is one of the many stories in this type of AU I personally find problematic. I don’t care if people write these fics, I just wish they were more responsible about it.

I’ve seen stories where alphas threaten to kill an omega’s family or the omega themselves to force them to mate with them, and are forced to comply. Instead of acknowledging how horrible this is the other characters just sort of treat it like the omega is misbehaving and that they’re cute for being “annoyed”. Like, what? Literally what the fuck. And this is sometimes never brought up again.

Alphas could burn down a whole village, slaughter everyone and take the omegas as sex slaves and still in certain stories this could be romanticized. I can’t get with that. Especially not when the victims aren’t even upset for more than a few days. What the heck!? That was your family!

But what really makes me uncomfortable? When an author makes sure the reader is aware of the fact that an abuser is extremely physically attractive so that people will be less inclined to be disgusted by their atrocious behavior and mentality.

I get it.

Sometimes the inevitable fall is due to true mates and all that. But at the same time, that is absolute bullshit. I wouldn’t give a damn if you were Jesus Christ himself, if you threaten to kill my family, or me, DO these things, disregard my feelings because of what you want and what you have to gain I am not giving you the time of day. Or at the very least if I have no choice I’m gonna utterly despise the person harming me. Come on!

True mates/Soulmates could be so freaking cute. It HAS been. I’ve seen it. There’s good fics out there, I just wish there was more of a selection where certain tropes are implemented in a way that isn’t toxic.

I don’t care how objectively attractive someone appears. I don’t care what “fate” says or what “instincts” denote. What reason do some of these characters have to love their abusers? Let alone be attracted to them? Especially if they never get a heartfelt apology and the alpha doesn’t bother to change significantly to be a tolerable human being. But okay, ABO instincts. Lack of control. I know, okay? But come on, can we switch it up a bit?

Out of morbid curiosity, sometimes when I come across stories I just can’t read because the Non-con is there but it’s not portrayed as traumatic and the author doesn’t even TELL you it’s in there... out of some masochistic need to punish myself I scroll down to read some of the comments and no one, I mean no one addresses how skewed and warped the themes in these stories are. The readers eat it up. And it’s honestly sickening.

But you know what? That’s kind of a lie. Some people do complain but they’re usually just straight up hateful flames and I don’t support those. I wish people could be more constructive when commenting on people’s work.

But anyway, since it was the MHA ABO AU fic that set me off I’ll just continue to use Izuku and Katsuki as examples for my griping. With Izuku as the omega and Katsuki as the alpha.

Many fanfic writers set up their worlds as a means to impregnate Izuku. That’s what I believe. Not ALL fanfic writers that write about this AU do this. SOME of them do! And I’m not saying this is always problematic, but it is when they put certain elements together because they want to write about BakuDeku in a sexual form and don’t bother to note how dark the story elements they’re implementing actually are.

I’m not sure if this is because some of them don’t understand how serious and damaging these things are and can be (rape/sexual coercion/forced pregnancy) or if they just don’t care and find them cute and sexy.

Either way, the things some authors have alpha Katsuki pulling on Izuku are wrong and downright perverted.

Now, I’m not opposed to smut. Sometimes I read stories with smut, that doesn’t bother me. Sex is a natural thing and people do it to show how much they like someone, or even just because it feels good. Whatever, that’s fine. But putting two characters together and saying “this is how it is because fate and forget gradually becoming attracted because I want that sexual tension now!” is something I find greatly unsettling.

If I could see this idea displayed differently maybe I could be equally disturbed, but could grow to accept Izuku and Katsuki (or whoever are the focus of the story) as a pair. Why? Because if the things the alpha is doing are horrible they should be acknowledged as horrible.

A lot of stories could be more interesting to me if the author wrote the things I mentioned above as they actually are, despicable. Instead things a lot of the times are sugar coated, treated as a joke, or downright wrongfully sexualized. Sometimes all three at once! A lot of these fics could have been something I could stomach if treated soundly. Say, Katsuki for example decided Izuku belonged to him and he forcefully mated with him, not allowing Izuku to be with anyone else without serious backlash. If he began to realize that his outlook on life was entitled and morally bankrupt I could totally get with that!

The author in this fake scenario could take the steps to better Katsuki as a person. Izuku of course should rightfully hate this man but could grudgingly begin to see and acknowledge Katsuki trying to change for the better. Then when Izuku manages to let go of his anger for his own sake, (not Katsuki’s) I could probably accept him beginning to notice Katsuki romantically. NOT sexually.

Now if Izuku just has to notice Katsuki’s physical body from the beginning and finds him irresistible because you know, ABO AU instincts and all that jazz—but hated this about himself, the juxtaposition of physical desire but mental and emotional disdain could be fascinating, engaging. It would make Izuku seem more like a person in these stories and less like the idea of a mentally strong omega. (Again, not saying all ABO fics lack good storytelling or compelling characters or any of that).

I could accept this eventual forgiveness and romance scenario because it could be amazing storytelling wise. Allowing the reader to experience a range of emotions due to world building, characterization, character growth, and plot line.

But anyway, I’m not trying to bash the specific story I used as an example above. I realize a lot of people love it and a lot of my language was crude and even rude but I just felt the need to express exactly what I was feeling, and above is what I felt. (I had to cut some things because it was way too obvious which fanfiction set me off and that’s not what I wanted. Didn’t want to throw shade, just wanted to prove a point).

If people want to read those types of stories that’s fine, at least they’re not going out into the world and doing what they’re reading about. Or at least I hope that’s the case.

But anyway, if people are going to read these types of things I think the reality of the content should be aptly acknowledged. No rose colored glasses, because that just makes it so wrong. And no, I’m not talking about being partial to any kind of kinks. I’m talking about a type of ABO fic that is problematic for me. I wrote a whole damn rant, if you can’t glean what I’m saying here I freaking give up.

But more presently, I guess it really comes down to what you prefer. Other people like things that come off as more sensual and carefree.

Personally I make it a point not to read those types of fanfictions because it’s just not my preference. I prefer to read things with dark world building with what I perceive as realistic consequences and real justice. Or maybe just downright cold blooded revenge sometimes. That’s nice too. Everyone is different, and I think I’ve just become frustrated because I’m not finding many stories like that in this AU.

That being said I’ve decided to write a story that I could read. A few, actually. You know what they say, “if you don’t do it, nobody else will”.

#ranting #I’m butthurt #read the whole thing #Kamui’s ABO Rant #my hero academia fanfiction #Problematic Portrayals of Trauma Complaint

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carol-effing-danvers · 3 years

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Steve Rogers is a Monster

Yeah, that’s a hell of a title, isn’t it? Strap in, it only gets worse from here.

(click here if you’d prefer to read this on AO3)

Forewarning, if you enjoyed the epilogue for Endgame, this particular essay is not for you - and no, I am not bashing the Steve/Peggy shippers, you are beautiful human beings who make the fandom brighter and I’m happy that at least someone in this fandom got the ending they wanted.

Additional warning: if you expect this to be another Civil War debate, you will also be disappointed. There has never been a measurement invented that can adequately describe how much I loathe the verbal dick measuring contest that seems to pass for human interaction between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers in this franchise. It’s not funny or entertaining - it’s exhausting, uncomfortable, and frankly it’s rather lazy writing.

This is about the very specific way that the epilogue in Endgame completely changed the way the character of Steve Rogers can be interpreted, and I don’t just mean the very illogical and contradictory way that time travel is explained, both in the movie itself and the fact that the writers and directors have two completely different views on how that worked out.

I mean that the choice made by Steve Rogers in the very last minutes of that movie alters the way I view each and every one of his actions starting from The First Avenger and that alteration is exactly what I want to talk about, because whether you view it as deserving or not, what Steve does at the conclusion of Endgame was the most selfish thing humanly possible. Time is a thief, but somehow Steve managed to steal even more than Time.

Side note here: I understand that I am a completely biased Stucky shipper, a friend to Barnes and Noble, a Starbucks aficionado - sorry. Anyway, I’ve always believed that Steve and Bucky were destined blah blah blah, but I was never expecting a Stucky ending. Disney wasn’t going to do that, and I knew that, I wasn’t bothered that Steve and Bucky weren’t doing the smoochies by the end. But Bucky’s facial expression during those last minutes was gut-wrenching. Like...I have no idea what kind of cues the script and directors gave him, but in the future, please don’t ask Sebastian Stan to look sad unless you want soul-crushing devastation. It’s not Seb’s fault, his features are just arranged that way - but the fact that the editing staff allowed Sam to be sad though elated to be entrusted with the Shield and Bucky looked like his soul was being physically torn out of his body was an… interesting choice.

Other side note: if you’re writing about time travel, I’m begging y’all to get your facts straight. Or just don’t write about time travel. It almost always sounds better on paper than it does on screen and it means that you’ve opened doors to more questions than you’ve probably got the answers for. I know this was about trying to set up the idea of the multiverse, I get that, but there were better and less messy ways to do that, and I know that because I’ve done it before. @Marvel: Let me write you a six-way orgy you fucking cowards~

By going back in time, Steve robbed Peggy of the future that would have been hers - not only that, he’s robbed her of even the chance of making the choice between those futures, because you honestly could not tell me with a straight face that Steve told her the complete truth of what he had done and she would be okay with him alternating the very course of the future. It doesn’t help his case that he has a history of not disclosing truths that he knows will be painful or inconvenient for other people in his life.

He robbed his loved ones - Sam, Bucky, Wanda - of the years they would have spent with him. Sure, he ‘came back’ after Peggy passed away, but they are adults in the prime of youth who knew him sixty years ago in his own time and he is an old, old man who has lived an entire life completely separated from them. He is practically a stranger with a name they know, but a history that no longer belongs to any of them - not even his oldest friend. They have him back, but judging from his age, they’ll be lucky to get even ten more years with him. Assuming of course, that any of them can stand to speak to him - I certainly couldn’t blame them if they tell him to go to hell and take his dad jokes with him.

Steve has stolen away their friend and dropped off an elderly and dying near-stranger in his place, and this is treated by the writing (and the majority of the acting) as a wild and unexpected but not tragic event.

Is it really that unexpected, though?

I recall seeing a Game of Thrones essay on Daenerys across my dash (I’m sorry, love, I don’t recall who you are since it’s not a fandom I’m in, but if someone knows who wrote that, please post the link!) which detailed how her ending in the series was foreshadowed many times by her penchant for bloody killings and her habit of surrounding herself with her own fawning friends.

Months after reading that, I had the thought: though Steve is never really shown thinking about Peggy after Civil War, except in a few scattered scenes in Endgame, was this foreshadowed? Whether you believe that his actions are justified or not, what Steve does is still, in the end, selfish at its very heart, and Steve Rogers is not a selfish person.

Oh no, my dear friends and readers. Because taking this action has solidified and clarified Steve Rogers as the biggest and most selfish asshole in this whole universe.

Steve does not do the right thing, Steve does the thing that will most make him feel better. The fact that this often happens to be the right thing in the end is more the result of happy coincidence than any special sort of moral authority that the man holds.

Rescuing Bucky Barnes and his fellow captives in a prisoner of war camp from being experimented on by an insane Nazi eugenicist? That was not a moral stand, that was endangering himself, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark because he couldn’t handle the reality of his best friend being killed in war.

Sacrificing himself by putting the Valkyrie down in the Arctic Circle? That was not about sparing human lives, that was about Steve seeing his friend die right in front of him and not being able to deal with the grief. There were ways he could’ve prevented the plane from killing people without killing himself.

Trying to make Bucky remember who he was? And later on, saving him from the government agencies who wanted to hunt him down? Although, arguably, that last one is also just good common sense - Steve was already shown that government agencies could and were corrupted by HYDRA and he’d also seen how dangerous the Winter Soldier could be when unleashed.

Steve did, I think, truly believe that this was the right thing to do, but it was also about keeping his connection - his very last, since Peggy had descended into dementia caused by Alzheimer’s before she ultimately died - to a past that for him, was only months or years ago, rather than decades. In some ways, this is completely understandable - Bucky might be the very last person left alive who truly knows who the real Steve Rogers is, because the rest of these people only know Captain America and we are consistently shown through multiple movies how uncomfortable this makes him.

This gets...considerably less and less understandable as we are shown Steve’s growing relationships with Natasha, Sam, Wanda - even Sharon, though she barely gets any screen time and they share the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen - and indeed, what might be the most uncomfortable kiss in cinema history.

Side Note 3: This is made even more awkward by the director’s choice to have two of Steve’s friends watching them the whole time - seriously, who even does that? Why would you make them do that? Only sociopaths make out with their friends staring at them like that. It’s so fucking creepy - and don��t even get me fucking started on the fact that she’s also apparently his own niece. AHHHHH!

But we are shown, over and over again, that Steve is capable of building close meaningful relationships with people in the present. They don’t know his whole history, but they do know Steve Rogers rather than Captain America and they care about him deeply.

Side Note 4: Notice that I don’t count Tony Stark among those people - despite this strangely persistent narrative that the various writers and directors tried to sell to the audience, Tony and Steve were not friends. They were never friends. They were colleagues at best, but these were two men who neither liked nor understood each other very well, but had to work together. And sometimes that’s okay, too. (Oh dear, I just gave the Stony fans a fit too, didn’t I? Sorry, guys. Enemies to Lovers is a great trope, I support you!)

But let’s set aside Steve’s gross betrayal of the people who loved him. We’ll also ignore the question of whether the motive for these good actions has tainted the actions themselves. Because even without questioning these, the conclusion of this story arc still transforms Steve into the biggest monster this franchise has.

The very fundamental way that the writers and directors can’t agree on how the time travel mechanics in their own story work mean that Steve has just done one of two things and they range from shady and very questionable to absolutely fucking horrific.

The first, that he’s created his own alternate universe to exist in, is morally dubious at best. Even the people who support this theory and liked the ending seem to feel that it wasn’t necessarily a ten out of ten on the moral goodness spectrum. They’ll say things like ‘he deserved to have his happy ending’. Even that phrasing seems to acknowledge that doing this was the opposite of the right thing. It just considers doing the wrong thing as being justified rather than horrifying.

But let’s examine this first idea for a minute - even this, the more innocent of the two implications, means that rather than really processing his grief or dealing with the repeated tragedies and losses that have occured in his life, even as he was running group therapy sessions and grief counseling, Steve Rogers chose to escape his current life by creating an alternate universe that specifically allows he himself to live out his own fucking fantasies of the way his life should have turned out.

That, in case you are not aware, is wildly fucked up. I thought I was playing pretty fast and loose with Steve’s characterization when I turned him into an extremely polite serial killer but as it turns out, I clearly just wasn’t setting the bar high enough, because that’s somehow even more fucked up than being an undercover child soldier with a small sadistic streak.

Hm, and now I feel I should have been more creative there...

The second, and even more horrifying option, is that this older Steve Rogers has been in this world the whole time, watching as things unfolded just as we’ve seen over the past decade, taking ‘the slow way’ through time.

Side Note 5: I do kind of understand why you would do it this way, because that’s really cool and shocking when you say that! Until you think about it for longer than three seconds and suddenly you realize…

Everything that has happened here, every tragedy and downfall these people experienced, happened because Steve Rogers lived his happily ever after with his beautiful wife and did absolutely nothing to stop it. He got to fuck Peggy Carter and watched as his wife built an empire of intelligence networks, knowing that her efforts were completely in vain because her agency was rotten to the core and he never told her.

Every horrifying act committed by HYDRA under the guise of SHIELD was permitted through Steve Rogers’ negligence. And that’s just the wider big-picture worldview, large and shocking, but not personal.

What about the people that Steve claims to actually care about?

This means that Steve lived his whole life in contentment with his wife and children while his best friend was physically and psychologically tortured for over seventy years and just...let that go.

He allowed one friend to murder another in the nineties, when the Winter Soldier was sent after Howard and Maria Stark. Then their child was being advised by a greedy self-interested warmonger who paid terrorists to drag him off to be tortured and slaughtered, and Steve did nothing about that, either.

Bruce Banner was exploited, experimented on, and made into a monster against his will in the failed pursuit of recreating what was done to Steve, resulting in billions of dollars in damage and dozens or even hundreds of lives lost, and Steve allowed that to happen, too.

Like Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov was physically and psychologically tortured for others to use her as a living weapon - except that this was probably happening to her since early childhood, and a man her future self loved and trusted implicitly did nothing to save her from this upbringing.

The Maximoff twins are shown to have not wealthy but loving parents who are murdered in front of them and they both endure days of laying in the rubble of their ruined apartment, wondering if the bomb in their living room would go off and kill them. Later, they are taken in by HYDRA, experimented on, and recruited as child soldiers to the cause when they show signs of having supernatural powers. They start a series of events that result in the destruction of a major city and the loss of what is probably thousands of lives. Pietro is murdered while trying to help the Avengers to stop this, and Wanda suffers the loss of the very last living person she loved. None of these things seem to have bothered Future Steve.

Steve “I can’t sit on the sidelines when I see a situation go sideways” Rogers, planted himself on that fucking sideline and observed for nearly eighty years as friends, colleagues, and his own wife were lied to, brainwashed, tortured, vilified, and hunted down like animals.

And then there Steve Rogers himself - not the Endgame Steve Rogers, the Steve Rogers who brought down a Nazi plane and will lie beneath the ice for seventy years while everything he knows disappear (mostly) innocent of these horrors, the life he would’ve lived stolen from him by a stranger with his name and his face from another universe.

What I’m saying here is that if you consider this idea for any amount of time, it took Steve Rogers less than ten minutes to become the most evil and disturbing figure in the entire MCU, only (not really tho) contested by Thanos himself.

Gross and poorly reasoned libertarian ethics aside, Thanos genuinely believes that he did what he did for the sake of the entire population. It’s made fairly explicitly clear that Steve didn’t do this for anyone but himself.

Call me crazy, but if everyone you know needs to suffer and multiple planet-wide devestations have to happen in order for you to get your happy ending, you might be the bad guy.

Maybe I’m just old-fashioned?

#forever bitter about what they did to steve #steve rogers #captain america #the avengers #marvel

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