#even if they just turn out to unlock cis+

[hell0mega]

more cis characters named Moss and Fish and more trans and enby characters named Dave and Jennifer. and yes they're all chosen names

[frvnkcastles]

WAITING FOR THE LIGHT ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: After a tense argument, you get triggered and Frank is there to pick up the pieces.

Warnings: Past abuse (Frank does not hurt the reader), implied PTSD, feminine nicknames, cursing, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1.5k

Author’s note: This was also a request — I promise I’m gonna try my best to start replying to asks with the corresponding fics! I'm still very much figuring this whole thing out. Stay safe lovelies <3 (Also by now you may have figured out I’m out here naming after FOB lyrics, hehe.)

He would never hurt you. He wouldn’t. Ever. You knew that — and yet, all reason and logic flew out the window just like that as soon as he raised his hand in retaliation.

You couldn’t even remember what you were arguing about, your mind only locked in on that one moment that made your heart hammer in your chest and any words drain from your throat. He had been heading out the front door of your apartment and you reached for his arm, only for him to pull it away and lift his hand, in the process. That was all. Just... moving away from you.

And you still flinched. As soon as he turned to you with his hand up in the air, you flinched. He saw it, saw the panic flash by your eyes, saw the way your throat closed up on you and saw how you took a step back in blind fear. Within seconds, whatever had been building the frustration in his chest evaporated and the heavy bag carrying his guns fell onto the floor with a thud that only startled you further.

”Baby...”, he breathed out, tilting his head to the side while reaching for you with both hands, only for you to react by stepping back and forcing a quick smile onto your lips.

”It’s okay”, you uttered out, running your fingers through your hair and nodding to confirm your own words as you trailed away from him. ”I’ll—I just—I’m gonna... the—the bathroom”, you stammered before turning your eyes away from him, unwilling to face the stare aimed at you as you headed down the hall to hide in your bathroom.

As you disappeared behind the door that was firmly sealed and then locked, Frank couldn’t help but take in a heavy breath and bury his face in his hands. The urge to kick something was almost irresistible, but aware that it would only scare you further, he settled for pacing back and forth and grumbling into his palm.

Whoever had caused you to react like that, was going to fucking suffer. You had always been the one person to look at Frank without fear, and here you were now, hiding from him behind locked doors. He could hear your suffocated cries, too, and it broke his heart in two — how could he do that to you? How could anyone have done that to you?

He struggled to suppress his anger at himself and anyone else who had made you cry, but eventually, he exhaled and stepped over to the bathroom with a gentle knock. ”Sweetheart”, he began, only to realize he had no clue what the fuck to say. There was no excuse or defense, after all. ”Hey, I get if you don’t wanna see me. But tell me you’re alright, yeah?” he pleaded, the despair evident even in his rough voice as he leaned his forehead against the door and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt sick to his stomach.

He heard your sob through the door, and when you unlocked it, he didn’t hesitate to carefully open it and peer in, only to find you lurched over the sink with your head in your hands. You were shaking and your breaths were far too shallow to his liking, and for a split second, right before his instincts kicked in, he felt awfully helpless and unsure what to do.

”Sweetheart…”, he frowned, ”hey, can I touch you? That okay?” His hands reached for you gently, and with a desperate nod, you swiveled towards him and fell against his chest. He cradled you in a tender embrace, one that you wanted badly to wash away all the raw memories of unwanted, hurtful touches. Frank… he would never hurt you.

”It’s okay, baby. Take your time, aight?” he whispered, his gravelly voice grounding you as he rubbed soothing circles on your back. He didn’t waver, not once, the thought of this being too much never crossing his mind. He was going to stand by you through everything — he had decided on that very early on, and his mind could not be changed.

You hiccuped, and damn-near hyperventilating, you clung onto Frank’s shirt like it was your lifeline. ”I’m—I just— I thought…”, you sobbed, and closing his eyes, Frank nodded.

”Shh, sh, shh, I know. I know, darlin’. C’mon, try and take some deep breaths for me, yeah?” he tried quietly and solemnly, and managing a frantic nod against his chest, you followed his example and drew in longer breaths, calming down your panicked state with each inhale.

”C’mere. Let’s get ya outta this hot bathroom. We’ll sit down on the couch, huh? That sound good, baby?” he suggested, talking you through everything, gentle and careful as he began guiding you into the living room. Still sniffling, you let him lead and wiped your eyes, a surge of embarrassment rearing its head in your chest as you sat down on the couch.

”I’m sorry”, was the first coherent thing you managed to speak, your shaky hands fiddling with the sleeves of your shirt as you avoided Frank’s gaze on you. ”I’m really… really sorry”, you added, lifting an ashamed hand to your face as you sighed.

Immediately, Frank was reacting with a mixture of a scoff and a snort — one that you had no time to overthink when he was speaking up.

”You got nothin’ to be sorry about, sweetheart. That wasn’t your fault. Ever. You got that?” he pressed with demanding words but his tone was genuinely soft and concerned for you. He didn’t want you to dwell in unfair guilt or worry, and he needed you to know that. ”I was an asshole”, he continued, before taking in a weak breath and looking down at his fingers. ”But I would never, ever touch you in any way you don’t want to me. I’d never hurt you. I know I’m—I’m a scary guy, yeah? But you never have to be scared of me”, he went on, desperate for you to trust him again.

Quietly, you nodded in understanding, not sure what to say. You believed him, of course, yet words failed you and, in doing so, left Frank fearing the worst.

”Are you?” he whispered weakly. ”Scared of me?”

At that, you looked up at him with widening eyes, your hand automatically leaping to his in a way that made a weight roll off of his chest. At least you still didn’t mind touching him. ”No”, you promised with a shake of your head. ”I was just... startled. But I know. I know you wouldn’t, I do”, you sighed, and with the need to console you somehow, Frank tenderly swiped his finger across the back of your hand to caress the smooth skin there.

”Has that, uh... has that happened before?” he asked lowly, his eyes trained on where your fingertips rested across his, unsure if he’d be able to handle your answer. You could hear it in his voice — the strain, the unwillingness to know mixed in with the insistency on hearing all about it.

Swallowing, you nodded. ”Yeah”, you whispered, not elaborating further but it was enough for Frank to pinch his nose and breathe out with anger.

”Jesus”, he muttered, his heart pounding in his chest and his trigger finger itching — and yet, he gulped it all down and gave you a careful glance. ”I appreciate you tellin’ me. As much as you want to talk about it... I won’t leave your side or judge you, ever”, he vowed, and wiping a tear from your eye at his kind, protective nature, you smiled at him.

”I wish I had met you earlier”, you laughed dryly, not really amused but certainly grateful for this man by your side. ”I’m really lucky to have you now”, you added with your eyes watering up, and with his stomach lurching at your fragile voice, he inched over to you on the couch to press a kiss onto your temple.

”And as long as you want me, I’mma be right here”, he swore.

It seemed almost funny, now — it had been a complete misunderstanding, and certainly, whatever you had been arguing about had been completely forgotten about by now.

”Is there anythin’ else I should know? I don’t ever wanna make you… y’know. That was pretty hard to watch”, Frank swallowed, clearly remorseful, and it made you feel guilty, too.

”I, uh, I don’t really react well if someone raises their voice at me”, you explained quietly, and listening attentively, Frank nodded. ”Arguments happen, I get that. It’s not me trying to get out of it. I just… hope we can have an adult conversation instead of screaming at each other”, you continued, and Frank reacted with his hand coming over yours.

”Hey, shit, that’s more than fair. You got it, darlin’. I’ll, uh, I’ll try my best to make sure we don’t fight, period. But if it comes to that, if I’m outta line, you tell me, okay?” he insisted, and with a weak smile, you squeezed his hand.

”Thank you for being so understanding”, you whispered, and with a sad chuckle, Frank scooted closer to kiss your temple.

”You deserve nothin’ less, sweet darlin’.”

[crispbake]

jonhshi headcanons you say?

- kenshi pinches johnny. a lot. as a joke, as a corrective action when johnny's being odd about something, for no reason at all. it's like the urge to bite, but... pinch.

- in return johnny gets to be a biter. not even just in bed, everywhere (except for around other people). johnny's the type to just give into the urge to gently gnaw on kenshi and kenshi lets him. lovingly.

- johnny is wildly defensive of kenshi. kenshi asked that johnny just not joke about his blindness for a while, and johnny was happy to do so. that also included, apparently, johnny snarling at anyone who DOES make blind jokes at kenshi's expense.

- they're t4t and tism4tism.

- they're also, even though it doesn't have a term yet, both disabled. kenshi being blind obviously, and johnny i actually headcanon as being hypermobile. very hypermobile. and there's really only so much being very very strong can do when you're that hypermobile and your joints are determined to get weird, so johnny probably does have occasional pain flare-up days. they'll stay inside and take care of each other

- or, if the responsibilities that day are unavoidable, johnny will take a cane or crutch with him to town, and kenshi wil tag along, returning the favor of biting anyone who makes a joke at johnny's expense (that johnny obviously isn't okay with)

- kenshi is scary dog privileges

- johnny, when he's the guard, is creepy cat privileges (i made that up but there's no better way to describe it)

- to expand on johnny being hypermobile- no grown-ass man in his late 20s is hitting the splits that fucking easily, painlessly, without prior stretching. he's just death dropping in some of his animations. and i just don't think he has a stretching routine for that. it's his party trick, something he can just *do*.

- kenshi finds johnny's flexibility wildly hot

- (when it's not causing him pain, ofc)

- kenshi's tattoos weren't done himself but at some point johnny unlocks the lore that kenshi apprenticed under one of the tattoo artists in the yakuza, and actually graduated to full artist before he left the yakuza. kenshi is a seasoned tattoo artist

- johnny jokes about opening a flower shop across from him so they can be just like the stories. kenshi doesn't understand the reference.

-they have an actual conversation at one point about the after-- once kenshi has completed his quest, and johnny's career is fully winding down. the plan is to get a flat above a storefront, and turn the storefront into a tattoo shop.

- kenshi wears sleeveless turtleneck compression shirts when working out and johnny fans himself like a victorian maiden every time

- (last one i prommy) johnny once wore a clownish formal outfit to the gala celebrating the success of the ninja mime movie. to this very day, kenshi maintains that one was his favorite outfit johnny's ever worn on the red carpet.

i am going to respond to every single one of these damnit

THE PINCHING/BITING IS SO ACCURATE. like i cannot explain what it is about it but that’s just so them. they do different things but it’s the same concept ghdjdkwkw

YES! johnny is super defensive of kenshi not because he thinks he needs to be, he knows kenshi can hold his own, but because he cares about him too much. i’m sure at first when it was still raw johnny never made any comments but i’m sure it reaches a point where kenshi starts joking about it himself and assures johnny he’s come to terms with it. but if anyone else makes a comment OOOH it’s over for them.

i rlly do love trans headcannons for them. whether it’s t4t or one of them is trans while the other is cis i do not care i eat that up every time. I ALSO FOR SURE SEE TISM4TISM!! johnny has the hyper fixations/knows random facts autism while kenshi has the not really sure how to handle your emotions autism. i think he gets overstimulated too which is also from his other senses being heightened once vision was gone.

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HIM BEING HYPERMOBILE BUT IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE! he’s doing the splits on the battlefield i mean come on?!?!??!? (i saw you mentioned this later on LMFAO see u get it)

yes 100% johnny gets scary dog privileges cause of kenshi. too many fans in his face? kenshi doesn’t even EYES for god’s sake and i’m sure a look in their direction will scare them off at least somewhat. and johnny is for sure creepy cat. it’s like “can i come over and be weird and offputting” literally him.

oh yeah the flexibility while it has its downsides for sure comes in handy sometimes. (in bed) i know kenshi is manhandling him into wild positions and johnny loves it. so does kenshi of course.

I’VE POSTED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I DO THINK KENSHI HAS AN INTEREST IN TATTOOS THAT ARENT HIS OWN! he could definitely tattoo johnny i just know he has steady hands and it would come out so awesome.

kenshi not getting the flowershop thing is so real johnny definitely then went off on a long tangent explaining it. i feel like they could just be grocery shopping and something gets johnny going and he goes off on a long spiel as they’re walking around, i’m sure this is an often occurrence. kenshi loves listening to him talk but again, the heightened senses, he probably does occasionally need to rest his head so he kisses johnny to shut him up LMFAO (and it always works that man is so easily distracted)

TATTOO SHOP DOWNSTAIRS FLOWER SHOP UPSTAIRS!

oh yeah johnny loves the compression shirts for sure kenshi looks good in anything. but he does wild for kenshi in short sleeves. he doesn’t wear them super often to cover up his tattoos but when he does goddamn. johnny feels like the luckiest man in the world.

JOHNNY IN A CLOWN THEMED FORMAL OUTFIT FOR THE NINJA MIME PREMIERE MIGHT JUST BE MY FAVORITE ONE OF THESE LMAO. saved the best for last. johnny for sure wears eccentric and colorful outfits on the red carpet. i mean have you seen his MK skins? this man has style he isn’t playing around.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED :)

[sagemonsters]

Though Hell Should Bar the Way

Summary: Bess is a night owl and a college student—a combination that turns out to be dangerous when she realizes she can’t make it back to her residence during an ice storm at 3am. After being saved by a strange, mute motorcyclist who is reluctant to remove his helmet, Bess is eager to uncover his secrets.

Status: SFW

Relationship: cis female human (she/her) x cis male dullahan (he/him)

Word Count: 2,200

Notes: this is a modern AU fanfic of Alfred Noyes' poem "The Highwayman"

Chapter 1 of 1

Bess all but screamed when someone tapped her shoulder in the small study cubicle on the fourth floor of the Holger Library. One of the assistant librarians, Alex, grabbed her half-empty Starbucks cup before Bess could knock it over as she recoiled, and her Beyoncé-induced study euphoria ended as that motion yanked her wired earbuds out of her ears.

“—Closing in five minutes, Miss Noyes,” Alex said.

“Right, yeah… What time is it?” Bess asked. 

Alex set her Starbucks cup back down on the desk. “Five minutes to three o’clock in the morning,” he answered, and then looked down at his wristwatch. “Four, actually.”

Bess blinked, then dived for her phone in her backpack; the time was correct. “Damn,” she muttered. She had an English final—a timed essay—in six hours; she needed to get whatever sleep she could before it started.

“Be careful out there—the snow feels like falling glass, and everything’s iced over,” Alex warned. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I hope you don’t have far to walk to get back to your dorm.”

“My apartment is on Kerr Green,” Bess said.

Alex looked at her in horror for a moment, then gave her a wince of sympathy; Kerr Green was halfway across the city, since Losthaven University had a decentralized campus whose student residences gave grief to the aforementioned students and city planners alike. 

“Get an Uber or Lyft or whatever,” Alex said. “You cannot walk there in weather like this.”

Bess shook her head as she shrugged on and buttoned her navy blue peacoat. “I’m broke at the moment. I’ll be fine, though. Thank you.”

Alex gave her a final, worried look, then left the cubicle and resumed his patrol for other students who had missed the closing announcement. Bess shouldered her backpack and took the stairs to the library’s front door, and then paused.

The pavement outside the library was slick and shining with ice, just as Alex had promised, and she could see more ice coating the streetlamps and the lone USPS box. The plows had already come by, so the roads looked reasonably clear—but snow piled high in dirty, irregular drifts to either side of the street, and more was falling by the minute.

For a few moments, Bess allowed herself to despair. She could call her mother in Florida and ask for twenty-five dollars to get an Uber back to her apartment—but that would be the second time this week she asked for money, and it was three o’clock in the morning, so her pride forbid such a thing. Bess huffed to herself, then pulled on her hat and gloves and stepped outside.

The wind hit her like a broadsword, slicing through her layers and carving straight to her core. This was, without a doubt, a proper New England winter storm, and Bess fancied that she could feel ice crystals making shallow cuts into the inside of her lungs as she inhaled; the air was so cold that breathing hurt. She wobbled in place as the wind threatened to bowl her over on the slick pavement.

Bess managed to get five blocks in the direction of Kerr Green before she realized she should have swallowed her pride and called her mother. She had fallen twice during those five blocks, and her fingers were aching with cold inside her gloves even after she had shoved them into her coat pockets. 

She eased herself into an alleyway for some reprieve from the wind and unzipped her backpack with clumsy, gloved fingers. After some digging, she managed to pull out her phone, and then removed one glove with her teeth to unlock the device with her fingerprint. The cold ache intensified in that hand, so much so that it shook with pain. She could barely feel the phone anymore, but managed to open the CALL app—

The phone slipped out of her fingers and fell to the asphalt at her feet. The screen went dark, and when Bess picked it up she saw a spiderweb of cracks across the screen. 

Crying is useless. Crying is useless. Crying is useless… Bess told herself, but the tears were welling up anyway and stinging at the corners of her eyes. She fumbled her glove back on and turned to trudge back out into the wind. Maybe there was still someone at the library, and she could beg them to let her use the phone at the front desk…

A headlight sliced through the snowy nighttime murk in front of the alleyway, followed closely by the deafening snarl of a motorcycle engine. An all-black bike with a helmeted rider swathed head to toe in black leather gear pulled to a stop in front of the alley, its engine settling into a low, coughing growl. The rider’s helmet, with its shadowed visor pulled down, turned toward Bess. He let go of the handlebar and held out his hand to her.

Bess stared.

The rider curled and uncurled his gloved fingers in a beckoning gesture. After a moment’s hesitation, Bess stumbled toward him. The sidewalk was slippery beneath her boots. She tottered as another gust of wind hit her, instinctively reaching out for support, and the rider grabbed her wrist and helped her upright—helped her the final few steps toward him, too.

“Can you take me to Kerr Green on West River Street?” Bess asked, shouting to be heard over the wind and the engine. The rider was still holding her wrist.

The rider nodded, and Bess was cold and desperate enough to climb on behind him and wrap her arms around his midsection. The motorcycle’s engine howled to life like a thing possessed, and she and the rider tore down the street. 

The wind whipped icy snow into her eyes, so Bess hid her face against the rider’s leather-clad shoulder. At this speed, it was even colder than before, and she was so very tired. She’d have to get her phone replaced tomorrow, and she had her English final too…

When Bess lifted her head after a particularly hard turn, she saw tongues of green ghostfire licking at the motorcycle’s wheels, and more streaming out from the engine like banners. One flame seemed to be in contact with her leg, but it didn’t appear to be spreading to the cloth of her pants and Bess felt no heat. She blinked hard, but the flames didn’t go away. 

This is real, she realized, and a moment later: this isn’t a normal motorcyclist.

“Stop! Stop!” Bess shrieked, and shook the rider’s shoulder. A moment later he swerved into a narrow side street, slowed to a stop, and put his feet down to balance the bike. The green ghostfire dimmed and then faded to nothingness. He looked over his shoulder at her.

“Who are you?” Bess demanded. “What are you?”

The rider said nothing.

“What do you want?”

The rider twisted around as much as he could so that he could face her properly. Bess looked into the visor, but couldn’t see even the faintest shadow of a face beneath it. The rider reached up a hand and brought two fingers to her cold lips in the barest ghost of a touch, then pulled away.

“What does that mean?” Bess asked. And then, more softly, “Are you mute?”

The rider nodded. 

“Okay,” Bess whispered after a moment. “Okay, let’s… let’s keep going, then.”

The rider gripped the hand that she still had wrapped around him, threading their fingers together and giving a light squeeze, then pulled away and started the motorcycle again. Bess tucked her head back down against his shoulder and did her best to endure the cold and wind and ice, but the flaring ghostfire provided no warmth; by the time they arrived at Kerr Green and the student residences that lined the park, she had largely stopped shivering. 

The cold had numbed her mind as well as her extremities, and it was hard to move. The rider had to help her to her door, and he followed her inside when Bess struggled with her gloves in the entryway. He heated water in a bowl in the microwave of the kitchenette, then helped her remove her gloves and submerge her frostbitten hands in the warm water.

“Thanks,” Bess said, and started shivering again as her body thawed. The rider, still in all his leather gear, pulled off her ice-rimed hat and coat and boots, then draped the blanket on the back of the couch over the space heater to warm it up before wrapping it around her shoulders where she sat at the kitchen table. 

“You can take off your helmet if you want,” Bess said when feeling started to return to her fingers and toes.

The rider hesitated, and then the helmet shook from side to side.

Bess attempted a reassuring smile. “I promise I won’t tell anyone what you look like.”

Another shake of the helmet. 

When Bess’ fingers no longer hurt, she pulled them out of the bowl, flexed them experimentally, and then started fidgeting with a tassel on the corner of the blanket.

“Thank you for all your help,” she said. “It really… I mean, I think I might have died without you.”

The rider nodded, then moved toward the door.

“Wait!” Bess said. “Please… please don’t leave just yet.”

The rider paused and looked back at her. Bess stood up, still with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and went to him. She reached out and touched his arm; there really wasn’t a single inch of exposed skin showing among the black leather, not a single smidgen of humanity or clue towards his identity.

“What’s your name?” Bess asked.

The rider shook his head, then reached up and brushed his gloved fingers over her lips again. 

Bess felt her cheeks heating in a blush. “Kiss me,” she whispered. “Kiss me before you go.” She knew it was a ridiculously romantic thing to say, something out of the trashy romance novels she kept hidden under her bed, but what else was there to say in a situation like this? What else was there to do?

The rider reached into a pocket of his jacket and brought out a small, dogeared notebook and a stub of pencil. He wrote for a few moments, then showed the page to her:

I CAN’T KISS.

“Why not?” Bess asked. 

The rider started to move past her, toward the door, and Bess darted in front of him and put her back to the door to bar his path. “I’m not moving until you tell me what’s going on,” she said. 

There was a pause. The warm yellow lights in the apartment flickered, dimmed, and then died entirely, and that sickly green ghostfire curled out of the lamps and from the burners of the stove. A chill crept in, not as terrible as the storm raging outside but still cold enough that Bess wrapped the blanket tighter around herself.

The rider took off his helmet, revealing empty air; he had no head.

Bess’ eyes went wide.

The headless rider wrote again in his notebook and showed it to her: SCARED?

“No,” Bess said, even though that wasn’t quite the truth. She stepped forward and put her hands on the chest of the rider’s jacket. “Show me the rest of you.”

The rider pulled off his gloves. He had normal-looking hands, although they were room temperature at Bess’ touch and had no warmth of life within them. The high-collared jacket came off next, revealing a plain black shirt that had a human-seeming chest underneath it. When Bess laid a hand over where his heart should be, however, there was no beat beneath her fingers, and his tattooed skin was cool.

“Why did you help me?” Bess asked.

WHY NOT?

Bess frowned. “That isn’t a good answer.”

YOU SHOULD STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, THEN.

Bess folded her arms over her chest. “Absolutely not. You…” She felt her cheeks heat in another blush and forced herself to be brave: “If you can’t kiss me before you leave, then I’m sure there are other things we can do.”

SUCH AS? the headless rider wrote.

Bess’ blush intensified. She reached for the top button of her blouse, but then hesitated. “I don’t know how to start without at least a kiss,” she confessed.

CAN I SHOW YOU?

Bess nodded. “Please,” she whispered, and the long ribbons of emerald ghostfire burned high and bright throughout the apartment as the headless rider set aside his notebook and reached for her.

•

The storm had died by the time dawn arrived, and newborn sunlight glittered atop the ice that sheathed the city in crystalline glory. Bess awoke alone, and found that her final had been postponed via an email from her English professor. She smiled and plaited a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Enjoy my writing? Please consider buying me a coffee so I can have a warm drink while I write.

You can also read this story in the August 2023 edition of the much-loved M❤️NSTER magazine.

[alexissara]

Upcoming Sapphic Games Goddess List

Hey, well to my check in with upcoming sapphic games, this list cover every single game I saw in my research that is in active development that showed signs of sapphic content. This list because of time of writing potentially may contain a game or two that was released or just by the time of you reading this later but I am doing my best while looking at everything I can to figure out where gay may be. Games on this list are filled with my opinions and don't represent the companies opinions and I wasn't paid or anything to put any games on this list. This post is split into 5 categories Non Visual Novel, Narrative Games, Make Your Own Gay, A Gay Exists and Potentially Gay. So feel free to skim across sections.

Non VN

These are games that are not visual novels that are centered on an explicitly sapphic character. This character's sole romantic interest does not need to be sapphic but the sapphic desires have to be seen as a core part of the character or game. 

Cycle

All Lana wants is to figure out the mystery behind her mother’s death. She embarks in a Megaman Zero inspired journey into a strange tower to get her answers. Lana has a girlfriend who is a core part of the story and is prominently shown in the trailers, art and stuff. I believe I even saw her fighting side by side with her girlfriend in a boss battle in the latest trailer. 

Contains: Sapphic Lead, Her Girlfriend 

Thirsty Suitors 

Enter the world of a Southeast Asian bisexual disatar Jala in one of the most stylish games I’ve ever played [the demo of]. It blends some fun skateboarding, with a really neat turned based RPG, and apparently even a cooking mini game into one complete package. The RPG combat is fun, funny and delightful. The story hinges on two romantic relationships that have broken down for Jala, both of whom are women, one she recently broke up with that leads her to go back to her home town and the relationship she fucked up big time in her home down with her former best friend. She battles against her not so evil exes in these RPG style mind palace fights where they resolve their feelings current and former and come to some kind of resolution. 

Contains: Bisexual Lead, at least two ex girlfriends 

Boss Game [PC Release]

This game is already out but it has a PC release coming up and that’s amazing and great and opens the game up to more people. A pair of Girlfriends need cash and so they take gig work hunting demons but as they take the jobs they start to figure out what’s really going on and to do the right thing. 

Contains: Cis Lesbian [lead], Trans Lesbian [lead], A non binary character, a bisexual character 

Kitsune Tail 

A mario inspired adventure about a little gay fox girl trying to save her crush from also a cute villain she might be into. It’s a super adorable platformer with a very light hearted tone invoking classic games with a modern queer twist.

Contains: Sapphic Lead, Sapphic VIllain, Sapphic Damsel 

Love’s Crescendo

This is a Rhythm game visual novel hybrid about a couple of lesbians who are both doing music in their lives at this pivotal point. Valerie and Cadence complete each other, musically. This romantic musical adventure gives a lot of sweet and cute moment for these two and nice musical gameplay. 

Contains: Two Lesbian of color Leads 

Narrative Games

These are Visual Novels and similar games where the gameplay is mostly reading a story, maybe making choices along the way or playing a few mini games but the mini games do not comprise the core gameplay loop of the story. 

Love In A Bottle 

Ankora is a lesbian love demon looking for love, in a visual novel point in click adventure she can choose to go after four different ladies. This game boasts a bit of dress up on on Ankora you can unlock while playing the game. It’s a rare dating sim where everyone is a clear adult and everyone is another kind of fantastic creature. 

Contains: Let’s Go Lesbians, Let’s Go 

Pen Pal Princess: A Queer Romcom Visual Novel 

You play as a queer princess looking to make her own love story. This is a game about online dating in a modern fantasy setting, it’s a cute and sweet concept and feels so relevant in a world where so many queer people date long distance. 

Contains: Sapphic Lead, some amount of sapphic romance options

Flower Knight Hú Dié

A solar punk RPG with a lesbian main character, Hú Dié. After the Flower Knights failed her most important friend she wanted nothing to do with them but she finds herself thrown into a situation dealing with the monsters and more that infest the world. 

Contains: Lesbian Lead, Sapphic Romantic Interest 

High Elo GIrls 

You play as a black college dropout who gets drafted into an all women esports team. You can choose if she is Top, Jungle, Mid, DPS, or Support and the kind of relationship she has with each woman. I am not currently aware if polyamory is an option but there is some degree of customization to the relationships. 

Contains: Sapphic Lead, 5 women to romance including at least 1 trans woman. 

Hardcoded 

You're a sexy trans girl android and you are gonna have sex with some people. There is mysterious in this cyberpunk world you gotta solve and the best solution for a service android like you is fucking your way to the top. You explore, make out with hot women, and do your thing. 

Contains: Lesbian lead, Big old lesbian cast [maybe they have some other sexualities and genders]

Make Your Own Gay

This category goes over games that queerness is an option but I believe it is possible for a heterosexual who doesn’t like gay people to play the game and just kinda, miss the queerness. This is typically games where you choose to ship characters together, normally your avatar character. This places games under a pretty high bar because straight people are not very smart on the whole and are really bad at reading media critically or engaging it.  For me a lot of these games are obviously queer in some way and also these games are not out, so I have no way of knowing for sure. This placement is not an insult and I actually expect several of the games in this part of the list to be some of my favorite games. 

Fields Of Mistria 

In this game, you start a farm in a new town, connect with local villagers learning their stories and potentially even romancing some of them, your gender does not matter. Enjoy a cozy environment of lovely people and enjoy a wonderful farming adventure. Explore dungeons, fight monsters, and more. Customize your character with a selection of appearances and customize your home and make it feel like it’s truly your own. 

The games special thing is an amazing 90s anime aesthetic. It’s magic for farming system also seems particularly streamlined. 

Contains: Women, Men and Non Binary characters you can romance. Customizable character. 

Moonstone Island

In this game, you start a farm in a new town, connect with local villagers learning their stories and potentially even romancing some of them, your gender does not matter. Enjoy a cozy environment of lovely people and enjoy a wonderful farming adventure. Explore dungeons, fight monsters, and more. Customize your home and make it feel like it’s truly your own. 

This games special thing that it has monster tamer with a really fun deck building element for your attacks. 

Contains: Women, Men and Non Binary characters you can romance. Character who you can just assume is whatever gender, they are never gendered. 

OVA Magica

In this game, you start a farm in a new town, connect with local villagers learning their stories and potentially even romancing some of them, your gender does not matter. Enjoy a cozy environment of lovely people and enjoy a wonderful farming adventure. Explore dungeons, fight monsters, and more. Customize your character with a selection of appearances and customize your home and make it feel like it’s truly your own. 

This games special thing is that it’s kinda like pokemon and has cute little slimes. 

Contains: Some women you can romance  Customizable characters. 

Story Of Seasons: A Wonderful Life 

In this game, you start a farm in a new town, connect with local villagers learning their stories and potentially even romancing some of them, your gender does not matter. Enjoy a cozy environment of lovely people and enjoy a wonderful farming adventure. Customize your character with a selection of pronouns and appearances [She/He/They] and customize your home and make it feel like it’s truly your own. 

This games special thing is that you grow old and die and get to see your kid grow up. 

Contains: Women and men you can romance. Customizable character including three sets of pronouns. 

Fae Farm 

In this game, you start a farm in a new town, connect with local villagers learning their stories and potentially even romancing some of them, your gender does not matter. Enjoy a cozy environment of lovely people and enjoy a wonderful farming adventure. Explore dungeons, fight monsters, and more. Customize your character with a selection of pronouns and appearances [She/He/They] and customize your home and make it feel like it’s truly your own. 

This games special thing is that is has online multiplayer and fairy shit. 

Contains: Some Women you can romance. Customizable character including three sets of pronouns. 

Lakeburg Legacies 

A city, kingdom, town, world building type game where the game centers around pairing the people you put into your town, having them work jobs and create resources and them creating babies. You can decide what characters you want to move into your town and pair them with your gender of choice so you can filter out men totally if you don’t wanna see them [except you can’t pick babies genders]. It doesn't’ appear to have any trans stuff going on and the characters are like randomly generated silly things with a few traits. Still it’s a fun type of this game and I could see myself enjoying a few loops of it. 

Contains: The ability to pair people up with the gender of your choice. You can’t control the gender of their babies. 

Our Life: Now and Forever 

This is a truly deeply in depth life sim that trades the depth of romantic options opting for two to give you a truly ridiculous amount of customization about yourself from growing up and transitioning changing your pronouns to altering all sorts of things about yourself and relationships. This is a game about living your life from childhood to adulthood together with someone.

Contains: Genderfluid and Lady Romantic lead, your able to pick your characters pronouns, transition them during the course of the story, and more. Customizable kind of relationship dynamic from love at first sight to slow burn. 

The Office Type

What if office stuff was hot, you can date that hot office stuff. It’s a dating sim where you can pick your pronouns and stuff and date all sorts of office themed hotties. 

Contains: Choose your own romances and choose the genders of all the options in the game between Lady, Guy and non binary. 

Imperial Grace

A diplomacy and romance visual novel where you make choices for your kingdom and choose who you would like to smooch. 

Contains: Contains Customizable Queen, 1 lady you can romance, has a detailed list of triggers for players to be aware of what their getting into. 

Solace State

A cyberpunk story about building a revolutionary movement as Chole. YOu build relationships with people and communities. Chole can hack people’s brains and get information on their thoughts. A moral system that seems to be based around your choices in not a binary way but a, how do you evaluate the ethics of doing the actions your doing to make the world better. You can make the world worse or better in the game. 

Contains: 1 Lady you can romance 

Call Me Under 

An Eldritch Horror romance where you can pick between three sets of pronouns He/She/They and romance a collection of hotties in this 50s inspired horror world while trying to figure out about the missing people in town and the other horrors brimming of late. You can be half siren or a human depending on that things in the story will change. 

Contains: Several Women and Non Binary romantic options, a Sapphic Polyamarous route, character who can pick between human and half siren and She/he/they pronouns. 

Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical 

A muse has died and your character got her power, now the worlds a musical and you gotta solve her murder otherwise you're gonna be the one who pays for her getting killed. It’s a unique musical visual novel with a big cast of big names. 

Contains: Woman Lead, two romacable women [? not confirmed], main character is probably canon bisexual but couldn't confirm in demo so here for now [but probably actually a narrative game].

Spirit Swap

Spirits are all around us and matching 3 pops them. In this match three game you play as Samara and look for love while trying to fix the issue with the spirits in town to utterly amazing low-fi tracks. For people looking to take a break from the story of the game you can also enjoy several other mods including playing against other players. 

Contains: Multiple Romantic options of varying gender including sapphic ones. Main character is probably canon bisexual but in the demo her attraction to men was a lot clearer to me then her attraction to women and I think a straight person might not catch she is gay. 

Love Shore

A true cyberpunk adventure where you pick between one of two protagonists. For our purposes your Farah.  This game is probably not properly a make your own gay but your not gonna get any sapphic content in one route and I think you can technically avoid it. Regardless, this game boasts a really awesome weaving plot and some sexy horric monsters you might be able to kiss too. There is some hidden stat elements which is a neat part of the game and it overall seems really cool. 

Contains: Your selection of one of two protagonists, one of whom is a woman and queer. You got to choose her to get to the sapphic stuff with at least three romance options that are ladies.

Gales of Nayeli 

This game is still really early in development as far as I know so it’s hard to say how much will remain consistent but I was told directly that Nayeli and Keri could have a romance and Nayeli is the title character of the game so the main character of the story is sapphic to some extent [they also assured me it wouldn’t be the only sapphic pairing in the game]. I simply cannot judge if that is something we see in the story because we’ve not got that kind of trailer yet. There is also an avatar, one we can assume can have romances, you can pick their pronouns but not edit their appearance. This looks like a really fun strategy RPG in the vein of Fire Emblem, with grid based tactics and if your into that and want some sapphic stuff, this is one to keep an eye on. 

Contains: Sapphic pairings between party members, self insert character who you can choose the pronouns of but not edit the appearances. 

A Gay Exists

This Category is for games with ensemble casts, in which a sapphic character might exist in the game, be playable, be unavoidable but they are also not the focal point of the story but instead just a small part of the story. A gay does exist in this game they in theory could even be in the lead but you might not know it like a game starring Wonder Woman or Harley Quinn where in canon they might be bisexual but the game simply might avoid ever stating it. 

Granblue Fantasy Relink 

Set sails through the sky in a high flying action RPG with a wide cast of characters from the popular gacha series Granblue Fantasy. It features the canon bisexual icon Rossetta as a playable party member seemingly from the start of the game. 

Contains: At least one playable canon bisexual. Player insert who can change genders on the fly. One playable subtextual sapphic knight. 

Granblue Fantasy Versus Rising

Bullshit could or could not be blazing in this Arcsystem Works fighting game follow up expanding the cast of Granblue Fantasy Versus and the general contents of the game. We don’t know the full roster but the roster of all the last game is included giving us for sure several pieces of representation. 

Contains: Two Trans women, one canon lesbian, several more subtext sapphics. 

Potentially Gay 

These are upcoming games I think probably will be sapphic to at least some extent in any of the above categories. Simply put, unlike the one’s above, I Am not confident enough to include them in the lists above because we simply haven’t seen any evidence to show that sapphic stuff exists. At least not in any trailer, demo, interview, or whatever that I researched when putting together this already very long list, so please be easy on me. 

The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood 

The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood is a card creating, fortune telling, narrative game about revenge, isolation, and more. You play as Fortuna, a witch who has been put into isolation without her magic or the ability to see anyone else by her Coven’s leader. She calls on a mystical being and makes a pact so she can get her revenge.  During the game you can express romantic, sexual, etc desires and it seems like you’ll be able to craft some relationships as well as the cards. 

Rune Factory 6 and Rune Factory Dragon 

In these games you’ll probably be able to pick your pronouns, romance people regardless of gender, and use magic to enhance your farming. Both will likely contain dungeons with simple combat and a light action RPG story to play. You probably can get married and have kids, you maybe won’t be able to customize your character beyond picking gender but you probably will be able to customize your house. 

Fantasy Life I: The Girl Who Steals Time

The first fantasy life made it where you could only be straight but at this point, Fantasy Life would be the last remaining life sim series to not let you be gay unless they totally cut out romance.  I think literally the last life sim with romance to not let you be gay was like Rune Factory 4, a 3DS game.  This game isn’t a farming game but it stands out next to the sims and other similar games as well. 

Hades 2 

The first one had a bi guy lead, I assume this time you’ll be a bi girl. 

Dark Deity 2 

The first one had an gays, I assume this one will have an gays as well, hopefully more, I wasn’t totally in love with how they did supports in Dark Deity 1. 

Beastieball 

Really this one is just vibes based, the art style says “queer” to me. Also your little beasties can start romances with each other and tehy don’t have genders but I bet you could do some making your own gay shipping with your little pokemon. 

En Garde! 

The vibe of the main protagonist is serving lesbian.  Please Devs at Fireplace games, tell me she kisses a woman, even in private, I won’t tell anyone if I am not allowed too, the game looks fun and I just want her to kiss a girl. 

--- That is all for now but if you enjoyed me doing all this research and putting it together in a really nice place for y’all then consider backing me on Patreon or Ko-fi or recommending me for work,I got my card on my page with professional contact info. Other than that you can always just follow me, reblog, share on whatever other social media sites are your poison.  If you know any other sapphic games that are not yet released PLEASE let me know,  want to know them all and I’m going to keep a new list after this article goes up for a few months from now when a lot more of these games are out or maybe next year around not E3 time again.

[nkukubean]

Old characters brought into a new light <3

Zak & Neverland; Monk Warforged & Paladin Half-Orc, Half-Sun Elf (Zak belongs to a friend).

Ship Name: Goldforge

The campaign died a long time ago, but we started thinking about them again when we realized Zak & Neverland had prime shipping potential (might have actually been canon if we played longer). The campaign didn’t make it past 2 sessions, oops.

Old Art & Neverland's Backstory Below the Cut:

dividers

Neverland's first concept art (from around... September 2022... wow... he's older than I thought he was...):

For some basics:

Neverland

Race/Species: Warforged (Warforged Enoy) - his integrated tool was the internet, and I'm not even joking about that... - modeled after a human, but I changed that to half-elf sometime after the campaign was scheduled to be rebooted in 2023, but never came to be Class: Monk (Way of the Open Hand) Alignment: NG Gender: Nonbinary/Demi-Boy (he/they/it) -> (Peter Hawkins was trans-masc nonbinary before his "death") Sexuality: Aceflux & Herculean Age: Robot, so adult the moment he was created... around 4 years since creation was what we went with?

Backstory:

He's technically an android, but I played with modified warforged stats. The campaign was supposed to be a goofy "picked up by the FBI/CIA for reasons, and now our identities have been wiped from the public; a Men In Black situation".

Neverland here was an android built by "Fantasy Apple" & "Fantasy Disney"—an attempt at creating the perfect park security.

The catch is that Neverland was once alive. Peter Hawkins was a dude who grew up in foster care, and he went to work for the parks so that he could ensure that the visiting kids there could have some happy childhood memories. His cheery attitude and willingness to comply to the park rules and standards caused him to be approached by the park's development teams. Peter gladly agreed to have his likeness/personality the model for the robot.

Aaaand that's how he got his soul zapped out of his body Portal 2 brain-mapping style. The development team now had Peter's brain successfully mapped, but they also had his lifeless, electrocuted body... and a robot with a soul—buuuut, they didn't know the robot had Peter's soul.

Peter's memories were locked away by the admins, but no matter what they did, they couldn't code away Neverland's quirks. Basically, they had an extremely ADHD android on their hands. Eventually, the CIA found out the parks had a sentient robot. Turns out, trying to code out the sentience of a sentient being is a violation of being rights!

The CIA scooped Neverland up, and he's been working with them ever since. Neverland is aware that his personality and looks were modeled after Peter, but he is unaware that he is Peter... soul and all. He's unable to unlock the memories without risking damaging his functions.

He was supposed to be played as a soul fighting its own code. Any time he would fight against the code, his system would reboot, and the code would take over until the soul was deemed as compliant again. RIP, Neverland, you could have been so fun to play with. Now, he's just a silly little OC that takes up space in my brain rent free.

Zak Feldspar

This was Zak's most recent character art (March 2023)

Race/Species: Half-Orc (Half-Sun Elf) Class: Paladin (Redemption) Gender: Cis Man Sexuality: Pansexual Age: late 20s? I don't remember

Backstory:

I won't share much about him, since he's not my character, but all the art is mine. He was a transfer from the England to the US (fled the country after he found out the royal family were liches, because... Queen Elizabeth... yeah, you get the point, it was funny).

He's been in several different campaigns, as you can see from this old art (July 2020). Out of all the campaigns he was in, he was the most well-suited for this one (according to my friend).

I really peaked with his 2020 design, I feel. I put a sticky note over the sword I drew him, as Zak changed it to a hammer... devastated...

Well, that's it. Here's a goof

[jackverdis]

So also like. Gender is weird. Like, really weird. Finally got a therapist in the first place, who is fully not prepared for my shit... and what exactly did I expect in the red-painted middle of fucking nowhere? Even the only queer center in town offered group therapy :) like thanks I personally know every NB over 30 within two counties :) what you have there is baby gays and teens :) which are nice but imma end up mentoring them and not finding out shit about myself :) but go off I guess. Also it would be in the middle of D&D night (guess how I know every NB over 30 within two counties).

Anyway the ongoing situation is that I've always been a Noticably Gender sort of person since puberty, very much "if you actually try to cosplay as a binary it will look very stupid" levels of stuff. And yeah, yeah, I know, do whatever you want, but I'm also kind of trying to have a career right now. Um. The doctors have finally found 0.3 grams of taking me seriously.

I've been prescribed Estrogen and Progesterone.

Which. Hey, what the fuck. I have apparently unlocked the super secret cheaterpants gender levels of Cis NB and AFAB trans fem. What. The fuck.

And it's so about to get so much messier because uhhh funny story I've never had dysphoria in my fucking life UNTIL I TOOK THAT SHIT. It's crazy making. I catfished my ex to find out why we broke up (two years later and I wasn't sure). I ran off to the next state with some slut (affectionate) and considered calling into work for a few days and then I had to anyway because my old ass car broke down. Cried a lot. Hated myself and my life and everything I've worked so hard for. Bled on a lot of shit because 85% of the time I DON'T and I was not equipped for that level of carnage.

Stopped taking them and everything was fine again.

But, since I don't have a real, hormonal gender? I'm going to die. Of cancer.

Neat, right? So can I.... go the other way? Maybe try just a little bit of T to see if I go batshit banana pants that way too?

No. I cannot. Not in my state. Because the qualifying condition is "wanting to be a man" and I don't? Especially? I'm more in the camp "fuck it, I'm three quarters of the way there anyway, and clearly horrible at being a girl to exactly no one's great surprise"... but that doesn't count.

So, here we are. I'm turning into a drug dealer at this point, because who the fuck treats autism with Vyvanse? That and the estrogen are paying off the new, less broken car.

Also I guess I have some new tags to hang out in.

[transmascblueblur]

What if Jak was trans? (Part I)

[Content warnings: semi-graphic descriptions of afab puberty (menstruation and unsafe binding in particular) with mentions of amab puberty, medical abuse/trauma/torture, mentions of ftm top surgery and HRT, some slightly transphobic & misogynistic phrasing/language, a brief mention of forced detransition, and subtext suggesting that cis adults see a trans minor naked without his consent, though NOT in a sexual way (as well as all the standard stuff you’d expect from the game Jak II, mostly violence).]

Out under the burning sun of the Wastelands, King Damas of Spargus is blessed with a gift from the Precursors: a baby girl.

Or so he thinks.

The heir to the Spargan throne enjoys desert life, riding the leaper lizards, watching the sand fly up behind the buggies as they speed out of the city's gate, sneakily observing the monks as they chant and perform their mysterious rituals. It's a happy, blissful time.

It doesn't take long, though, for the kid to realise that he's not a girl like everyone says he is, and communicates his feelings to the people around him as soon as he knows how. Damas, the leading reject in a city of rejects, a man ruled by nothing more than fatherly love, who would wage war on the blazing sun itself for his child, doesn't turn his back on his now-son, but embraces him. (Perhaps there are even other trans people in Spargus that ended up there for that reason, if Haven is generally a transphobic place?) He changes his former-daughter's name from the feminine Mara to the masculine Mar (or perhaps it was always Mar, in a gender neutral fashion). He cuts his son's hair, lets him wear his little dungarees, and since Mar is so young at this time, nobody who isn't already aware has no reason to suspect that Damas' son was ever anything else.

But then Count Veger strikes.

He hears that the banished King Damas, descendant of the House of Mar (and likely skilled in eco channelling), has had a son. Children are a lot easier to kidnap than adults, even the children of kings, and Veger needs someone who can channel eco for his experiments. In the night, he kidnaps Mar, whisking him out of his desert home and into the heart of metallic, miserable Haven City.

Damas' grief could swallow stars. He'll never stop looking, even if he has to empty the Wastelands of sand one grain at a time. Even if it kills him.

As surprised as Veger is to eventually discover that Mar isn't exactly a typical little boy, this doesn't affect his experiments, so he's content referring to Mar the way everyone else does, as a boy. All he truly cares about is unlocking the Precursors' secrets, anyway.

By means that remain unknown, perhaps after only a few days, or perhaps after many months, or something in-between, Mar is freed. Maybe Veger, or even an assistant of some kind, lets his guard down for just a second, and the sly little kid sneaks away, stumbling out of the lab and finding himself alone in an unfamiliar place — bare-footed, traumatised, silent. A stray croca-dog, just as dirt-covered and lonely as the boy, forms an attachment to him. With saliva dripping from flesh-rending teeth, he protects Mar from those that would harm him long enough for him to be found by Samos and taken to the Underground, where he also meets Kor.

Samos realises what that amulet around the child's neck means. As long as the kid sticks around long enough to be put on Haven's throne when Praxis is done away with, it doesn't really matter if he has shoes or not, right? Besides, as The Shadow, Samos has bigger priorities than babysitting. To the rest of the Underground, a scruffy little kid with short hair, dungarees, and a big croca-dog looks enough like a boy, so they have no reason to question whether he's a real boy or not. Besides, a lot the Underground's members generally prefer knowing that the heir to Haven isn't a girl, even if they can't quite justify why when Tess asks them.

Kor, meanwhile, already knows just who this child will become. Whilst baby Mar is now with the Underground, his older self has already come through the warp-gate and fallen into Praxis' hands, so Kor has seen the kid's older self at least once, and has seen at least a hint of the man - the hero - that he will grow into. (If he doesn't kill him first.)

And then, of course, shenanigans ensue. Mar meets Jak (thinks he's really cool) and Daxter (thinks he's really cute), is told to attempt the Tests of Manhood (and the door opened for him at first — he always knew he was a boy!), and gets kidnapped by Kor to open the Precursor Stone.

In the end, Mar watches as his former carer's severed head skids along the ground towards Jak's feet. (Gross. But also kinda cool.)

Then Mar realises that Jak is actually himself in the future, and gets the validation and euphoria he never knew he needed. He takes on the name Jak for himself, and travels back in time to Sandover Village with Samos, remembering nothing of his old life but the fading light of the warp-gate. (Unfortunately, he forgets that warning about the wumpbee nest.)

(Due to time loop issues, this means that the name Jak just appears from nowhere, since the Jak living in Sandover Village was given it from his older self that he met as a child in Haven, who heard it from his older self back when he was a kid, and the loop continues. If we want a satisfactory answer to the true origin of Jak's name, time-loop aside, my personal preference is this:

The Kid isn't speaking at all when he first arrives in Sandover, and Samos was always content to refer to him as just "The Kid" anyway, so without a way to clearly communicate his desire for a name with Samos, that's how he stays for a while. Over time, The Kid gets to know Keira, Daxter, and the villagers, and they get to know him. United by the same adventurous spirit, The Kid and The Explorer grow closer, and The Explorer then becomes known as Uncle. Samos is content to have someone else caring for The Kid, now that he has a daughter to take care of, and is happy for him to have some semblance of a family, so when Uncle suggests, you know, maybe giving the poor lad a name, Samos agrees. Keira and Daxter also suggest names, of course, but Samos flat refuses to let them, Daxter especially, who is currently a scruffy urchin but who he knows will one day be an animal, name the future hero of Haven. Furthermore, Samos is perfectly aware of the grim fate that Sandover Village will suffer when the warp-gate is reopened, so he allows The Explorer to name Jak as a small way for Sandover's people to live on.)

Time passes like thick honey in Sandover Village. The sea caresses the shoreline of Sentinel Beach, wind whispers and howls through the trees of the Forbidden Jungle, and yakows chew hay lazily over at the farm. Life is good, peaceful.

Jak grows up a bit, grows closer with Daxter and Keira, gets stung by some wumpbees, does a lot of exploring, makes a lot of trouble.

Eventually he finds himself able to talk sometimes, rather than just using the sign language he and Daxter invented for themselves, and doesn't mind doing it now and then. Then Daxter's voice starts dropping. A sudden jealousy starts gnawing at Jak, so he decides to keep quiet most of the time, even in the moments he can speak. (Daxter prefers the limelight anyway.)

Growing up has other downsides, too. Jak finds himself using whatever the women of the village recommend — certain types of grass, cloth, wool — to stop the bleeding that feels constant, even if it only comes every few weeks. And sweet Precursors, it hurts. (Not to mention the other strange stuff — headaches, tiredness, his gums feeling weird, an unsettled stomach, and the urge to cry and throw things, to name a few.) Keira, going through the same thing, gives advice and support, and whilst that makes it easier to bear, other boys don't have to suffer this, and that's all Jak can think about.

And then Jak's body starts really changing, visibly — especially his chest. All the while, Daxter enjoys a flat chest, a (small) growth spurt, no stomach cramps or bleeding, and a voice that cracks pleasantly, even if he himself finds it embarrassing (as well as apparently some... interesting dreams, but Daxter refuses to talk much about them).

When it gets too much to bear, Jak starts flattening his chest with bandages and suffers through the pain, periodically repairing the damage to his ribs and lungs with green eco. He has no other options. He'll always have to live this way, he knows. It's a horrifying truth, but perhaps it’s worth it when your two best friends - and all the other villagers, for that matter - can see you for who you are. But even when he begs Samos to please do something about all these awful, awful changes, the sage refuses, because even he doesn't know what to do. (Although, having already met Jak's older self, Samos knows that one day Jak's voice will be deep, his chest will be flat, and wonders how in green tarnation that will happen. It takes him a while to realise that the answer is not a happy one.)

Life goes on, and Jak grows older. For the first time, he finds himself truly envying his homeless, ill-treated, buck-toothed best friend, which just makes him feel worse, since Jak is objectively the luckier of the two (he's never accused of stealing, and always has a place to sleep). If Daxter notices Jak's jealousy, he's nice enough not to say anything. But no amount of envy on either side is enough to hurt their relationship, and they just grow closer the older they get.

More shenanigans ensue after the boys visit Misty Island (an inevitability, Samos knows, even if he did try to warn them). It all ends in a darkening sky, horrifying creatures crawling and fluttering out of a warp-gate, and a monster's voice cracking the tropical air like thunder,

"You cannot hide from me, boy!"

(It also ends with Daxter remaining short, furry, and bright orange. Overnight, Jak's envy is replaced with guilt as solid as the mountains.)

And just like that, Jak is back in Haven, lost and confused with nobody but an animal companion by his side for the second time in his life (but the first that he recalls).

But it doesn't last long. Seconds, at most.

Commander Erol has already received his orders from Baron Praxis, who was himself given a tip-off from Onin, and is expecting to pick up a teenage boy at the pier, and drag him to the prison kicking and screaming if necessary (through preferably with less fuss than that). Erol and his team retrieve the boy as planned, and Praxis is thrilled to finally have the most promising candidate for the Dark Warrior Program in his clutches. Imagine their surprise, perhaps when making Jak change into his prison uniform, when they notice something strange — he's not quite as male as that old soothsayer had made him out to be.

At first, the Baron is baffled. Onin had said a boy, but whoever this kid is, they're definitely the one. Their eco powers speak for themselves. Perhaps he sends Erol to ask Onin for an explanation, and perhaps she says just what she said the first time. So Praxis thinks about it. He's heard of people doing this sort of thing before, changing their sex, though he can’t quite fathom it himself. Of course, he could simply force this kid to live as female, change his name, warp his entire identity into what Praxis himself wants him — her — to be.

But then the Baron thinks some more. Jak wants to be a boy, badly. The tight bandages on his chest are a clear testament to that, and if the wise old Onin says he's a boy, she's probably not wrong. All it would take is some injections (which Jak will be no stranger to, since the eco will need to go directly into his bloodstream) and maybe some surgeries here and there. If Jak doesn't need to bind anymore, doesn't have to worry about menstruating anymore, and can grow the strength and muscle of a real man thanks to the testosterone, he will be a better warrior, and that works in Praxis' favour. Furthermore, it might even make Jak feel indebted to him, could even inspire some loyalty. After all, what use is your perfect Dark Warrior if he hates your guts, resists all of your commands, and is probably constantly plotting to kill you?

So the Baron makes Jak into a man and, as they will soon see, into a monster.

(It takes Praxis longer than it should to realise that, despite the surgeries and testosterone that he wouldn't have otherwise been able to access, Jak will never feel even an ounce of loyalty to him.)

Erol, meanwhile, has no qualms with Jak's transition. If anything, it makes him feel slightly better, because now he knows for sure that it's not a girl he's hurting (and this, for some reason, makes a world of difference to him).

Time crawls by like some dying insect as Jak rots in his cell. He's forced to train until he drops, takes beating after beating from the guards, suffers Erol's relentless sadism, screams and thrashes in the injection chair. It feels like years. He still remembers Daxter’s last words to him,

“Don’t worry Jak, I’ll save ya before ya know it!”

He wonders how long ago that was. He wonders if he’ll ever see Daxter again. He didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much, and wishes he never had to know that feeling.

Finally, the time comes. Sure, he’s a man now, and much stronger than he was, but no amount of dark eco in his blood is making him into the superweapon that the Baron has been searching for, and Jak is his last hope. (He's already seen the other four die, one at a time, wondering when it will be him.)

Praxis orders Erol to kill Jak that night. The Commander, now apparently bored of using him as his personal punching-bag and lab rat, gleefully agrees.

So Jak is left alone, lying limp in his restraints, the agony of another dark eco injection still blistering through his veins, only vaguely aware that at last, his suffering will end.

At one time he’d hoped to escape, to tear Praxis limb from limb, to make him suffer, but apparently that time has passed.

Now there’s nothing he can do but wait for death.

But then a familiar voice, like the sun through stormclouds, rings out through the sterile silence of the prison.

[girltober]

Girlfit! Gamer socks/armthings and a sundress might not go well together on paper, but I like this fit a lot 🩷 girls just have so many more customisation options to pick from. And you know what they say, you gotta Get Railed in a Sundress 😜

---

So! Girl Month is two thirds over... whats the state of affairs?

Its been a little while since I last posted anything substantive bc well... girltime has been normalised. In the first week I was very strict about wearing only "proper" girly clothes, not even using my normal dressing gown! But as time passed I've allowed myself to wear more unisex clothing - for better or worse. In general Girl month has become less... exciting and wild and more a mundane part of life. I go out in girlmode and don't think twice about it.

I've been on E nearly 2 weeks now with no effect, which I guess I expected but its a little disappointing. My nips don't feel any more sensitive than usual which is lame.

Sidequest 2 and 3 have not been completed, but I'm planning to complete 3 tomorrow which I'm looking forward to (shes soo hot). And I forsee myself completing 2 also bc like... cmon, how hard can it be?

Girl month has also been a little bit of a slut month for me- which has honestly been kind of the best part lmao. I mean my bodycount is still 1, but I've really enjoyed wearing revealing clothes, going out with my girltreat in, and thinking a lot about being a... well a free use fucktoy 😳.

Maybe I'll make another post trying to delve into the psychology of it, but I guess long story short... horny guys are gross, but horny girls are hot. That might only be true in my own lesbian*(?) head but I feel like its not just me who feels that way. Idk theres a lot to unpack there. Being a girl made me feel more confident being a pervert is what I'm saying, for better or worse.

(*For this month(?))

But to the main event: gender.

I started this month with the view that i was doing this for shits and giggles and nipple-orgasms.

I was planning to walk out of this having unlocked Cis+, as a BoyChad like Finnster who can walk through the Valley of Girl and not flinch at the feminine shadows cast over me.

But...

Rrrrrgh.

*deep sigh*

I guess... I'm probably not cis.

Yeah yeah I know the guy who volunteered to dress as a girl for a month for no reason is actually trans big surprise, someone call the pope, who could have seen this coming yada yada.

I will say that I'm not sure that I'm a girl either though.

I enjoy dressing up femme, and I get a little hit of dopamine whenever someone calls me Charlotte or uses she/her pronouns, but...

(Wait typing that sentence in real time just made me realise that i might just be a girl after all uuuh nvm continuing with my original point)

...I don't necessarily... feel like a girl? Like I mostly forget I'm a girl and then occasionally I think "oh yeah I'm supposed to be a girl rn. Or maybe... I just AM a girl for this month? Oh nice I'm a girl I guess sweet" and then carry on with my usual activities.

Although even that sounds pretty trans hmm.

(Good thing I successfully turned off Pop-ups or this post would be unreadable with the amount of Transgender XP I've gained lmao)

Does anyone remember that one comic? Its like the car driving "PENIS" face one except the thought is "im a girl". This is nonsense to non-tumblrinas I'm so sorry, if anyone finds the comic I'm thinking of please send it to me.

Anyway, i may not be a trans girl, maybe I'm nonbinary or maybe genderfluid or bigender or something else... but M** left Plato's cave when he became me/Charlotte, and I/she can't imagine going back in there and forgetting. Wearing a dress is just too much fun to quit lmao.

I definitely think i just don't have a very strong sense of gender in general- I've boymoded for family events and doctors appointments and felt no discomfort or dysphoria- but being a girl recreationally is just more fun!

I might do Boyweek in early november to try to solidify my gender opinions, but for now... my gender is almost certainly queer and i can't wait to find out what I become ^^.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, thank you all my friends for being chill about this and thank you M & L for supplying me with E and thank you Y for being the madlad who took E for lols in the first place and MASSIVE thank you to the one who took me opshopping and opened my mind to polyamory and made this whole experience... just so much more comfortable and fun.

Oh and thanks to the random internet people who followed along too- Its been really cool to see this break containment in little ways!

Uuuh anyway this might feel like a very final retrospective post but I still have a couple of girlweeks left in girlmonth so I'll keep y'all posted with my future girlfits and antics!

Love y'all! ❤️🩷💜

[unravellingsilencehq]

“Oh, Merlin, tell me, does THE QUEEN OF SWORDS get what she deserves?” She is in THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX & CLOSED to finding out.

— she walks through the world as ;

name → annabeth pebworth pronouns → she/her identification → cis female year of birth → september 1952 - september 1953 face claim → jessica henwick blood status → muggle-born sexual orientation → up to applicant occupation → deputy head hit wix at the department of magical law enforcement at the ministry of magic future information → head of hit wix at the department of magical law enforcement at the ministry of magic, wife of dougal mckinnon

— she is best described as ;

Forged by DRAGONS BREATH, she is the ASSURANCE of a NEW DAWN coloured in scarlet yet the CAUTION warned in it’s wake. The GUIDING HAND of a blade, SURE, STEADY and UNYIELDING in the face of PROTECTION and PERSEVERANCE.  While they can be as TENDER as the whistle of wind through mountains, it’s a gift for only those stubborn enough to unlock a IRON CAST HEART sealed from decades of hopelessly cold, to hold.

— her story starts with ;

tw: death

There is little that Annabeth cares to remember of her time before becoming a Pebworth. Merely a collection of disjointed memories, fractured hope and careless actions from those that were meant to love her. The product of a careless night, Annabeth was born to a mother too young to look after herself let alone a child. Abandoned and left in an orphanage, Annabeth raised her sister Isla with protective hand and the overbearingness of a mother at only seven. Seeing it as her duty to protect her, she vowed even then that nothing would be able to tear them apart. While the orphanage was as bleak and grey, the people inside held hope for the young souls within. Finding families for as many children as they could muster. Isabella and Angus Pebworth hailed from the highlands, simple folk who always wanted a child of their own; the news of a newborn looking for a home brought them to the orphanage. Only to find that if they wished to take Isla; they’d have to take Annabeth too. While it wasn’t what they’d wished for, it was still a family.

Annabeth knew that she wasn’t wanted. Her age made her less desirable, her guarded attitude and protection over her sister was a challenge. Especially when strange things started to happen. The crashing of a plate when tears started to fall, the playing of the gramophone to sooth Isla without it being turned on, the flickering of lights to accompany her tears. While her parents swore the house was haunted and insisted they fled to the Isle of Skye to escape their demons; Anna feared it wasn’t the house but herself. Exploring the fields behind the village they lived, her eyes fell on four figures all of whom were flying. The magic she’d been hiding under her covers at night of flickering flames wasn’t insanity, it was real and there were others just as she. As quickly as her realization came, she was knocked to the ground by COINNEACH MCKINNON [future brother in law]; who was swiftly scorned by DOUGAL MCKINNON [best friend/fiancè]. Annabeth’s short temper and spark only made the McKinnon’s smirk, who welcomed her to join them gladly. The McKinnon’s saved Annabeth from loneliness and self destruction; akin spirits they taught her about the wizarding world, showing her life, freedom and how to finally breathe.

The Pebworth’s fear of magic tore the family apart. Superstitious, the unknown whelm of witchcraft they saw as cursed. Deeming that no child of theirs would have a hand in such unnatural acts, they burned Hogwarts letters upon arrival only until a mysterious cat appeared at their window. Transforming into a woman before their very eyes, PROFESSOR MINERVA MCGONAGALL [mentor] escorted the witch personally to Hogwarts, throwing shame in her wake for their negligence. Hogwarts was beyond anything she could have wished for. Doned in red, she soared with her fellow Gryffindor’s; atlast finally wanted and free. The brightest witch of her year with resilient prowess, the girl excelled far beyond anyone’s expectations. Able to fight her own battles when the likes of LACHESIS MALFOY [adversary] shouted mudblood across the halls, though with Dougal, ALICE YEN [best friend], FRANK LONGBOTTOM [close friend], AMOS DIGGORY [friend], HESTIA JONES [friend] and IAIN WOOD [friend] readily at her side for once she didn’t need to be her own champion. Yielding a fury of protection for the people she loves, the witch’s devotion to safeguard her chosen family and those vulnerable became her striving purpose. Graduating and taking a job as a Auror under ALASTOR MOODY [boss], she became bold and defiant in her untouchable youth.

Though one night, everything changed. Ravagers stormed the mountains of Skye in hope to capture the famed and protected Hebridean Black dragons. The roars of fire shook the town as dragons cried for their children leaving the McFusty calling any wix on the island to help. Fighting in combat alongside the McKinnon’s, McCormack’s, Wood’s and McGonagall’s the families united managed to ward off the thieves; still with great consequences. Isla had followed her sister with the ambition to help. Though at only twelve, her skills weren’t nearly enough to match that of older wix. Caught between a spell and a dragon, in a blink of an eye Annabeth lost her sister forever. With no body to be found, any life that Isla Pebworth had once held; simply turned to memory. Blamed for her sister’s death, the Pebworths disowned Annabeth. Wanting nothing to do with magic and the daughter that had left their greatest treasure dead, they left never to be seen again. Devastated and plagued with grief; Annabeth’s heartbroken cries echoed through the mountains. With a piece of her soul stolen, despite the McKinnon’s taking her in; the witch was unconsolable. Turned reserved from fear of the unbearable grief that comes with love lost, Annabeth became colder and guarded in a fleeting attempt to protect what remained of her heart.

While many tried to heal the mourning witch, it was Dougal who found a way into her heart. Though arrogant, there was something about him that was disarming. For a man too proud and noble it was maddening, she offered a wit as sharp as a viper leaving their interactions often comical to those around them. Years of friendship turned to love as they bickered over games of wizards chess, sipped butterbeers and healed each other through the misfortune that had befallen them. While their years of friendship, love and then engagement were news celebrated by friends, by most however distaste could be felt in their stares. Most surprising of all; Nathair who’s objection ripped through the fabric of the McKinnon family. Obstinate that she wouldn’t tear them apart, Annabeth fled to the hills. Only for Dougal to capture her in an embrace, claiming there was no place on earth that would be far enough for him to forget the bond they shared; assuring it would meet good ends. While fraught with concern at the growing unrest both within her family and community, Annabeth dove into work. While Alastor fought against the head of law enforcement BARTEMIUS CROUCH SR [boss] insisting she become the head of the department of Hit wix, with her muggle-born status; the Ministry board refused. 

Angered, Alastor spoke of a group forming to combat against discrimination and offer tangible change; The Order of the Phoenix.Hungry for purpose, while she knows her time will come, with the growing strife she aches being on the sidelines wanting nothing more than to wage her own war. Though, even she knows it's not wise with anonymous threats of violence left in her office. What started as one, became two, till she was finding threats daily scattered on her desk as pureblood propaganda. While the letters of terror and dark symbols are unnamed, even Annabeth knows she’d be a fool not to dismiss such cryptic messages. Keeping them hidden from her friends and Dougal to not cause alarm, Annabeth has taken the situation into her own hands. Seeking consort from EMMELINE VANCE [friend], the pair are trying to detect a magical trace off of any of the letters she has received. Testing the ink and parchment, to see if it will lead to a clue but coming up nout. But with the most recent letter being slipped under the front door, Annabeth’s nerve is growing strained with how close to home the threats are turning. With Muggles disappearing daily and the threat on non-pureblood wix growing; Annabeth fears that it’s only a matter of time before her name is added to the missing persons list.

— she is a LEVEL 8 WITCH & readied for war ;

[junipersramblings]

An Aroace Perspective on the Problem of Playing "Hard To Get" (Vent post)

So, for those of you that don't know already, I'm an aroace cis female, and I'm a high schooler. Apparently, I'm also fairly good looking, but I don't really have any opinions on that and frankly don't give a shit about dressing to look nice unless it's because I want to.

As you can imagine, this is a great combination of traits /s

I'm putting the actual vent under the cut so if you don't want to read this you don't have to.

I've always thought the concept of playing "hard to get" was strange, even before I figured out that I'm Not Straight. My thoughts were always "why would you want someone who keeps asking you out after you say no? Wouldn't you want to date someone who just leaves you alone if you reject them?" and that remains my perspective today, knowing what I do about myself now.

As for why I'm making this post today? Well, I highly doubt he'll ever see this, as he doesn't know I have a tumblr, let alone my url, but if he ever does? Well, this one's for you (derogatory)

This all started near the end of Year 8 (I'm Year 10 now). We're in the same homegroup, and so we're stuck with each other for two hours a week, every week, until we graduate. We had an assembly and we were sitting in homegroup rows, the same way we always do. By pure chance, I ended up sitting next to him, and happened to overhear him talking with a couple of his friends about a girl he liked, until one of them saw me and said "dude she's right next to you".

His response to this was to ask me out to dinner. (Bear in mind, we're both barely fourteen at this point).

I said no, and he turned back to his friends, disappointed. One of them told him he "hadn't asked me out correctly". Nearly two whole years later, and I still don't know what that means. So he turned back, and he asked me out again. I don't even think he changed how he said it.

Shockingly, I said no.

After that, he asked me what my type was, and I said "uhhhh I dunno. Not you?", since I was still figuring out my sexuality at the time, and quite frankly had no fucking clue what my type was. He seemed disappointed again, but let it go, and that was it for a whole year.

Then at the end of Year 9, we were given the schedule for activities week, which was the final week of the year, and a way for everyone to relax. Everyone in Years 7, 8 and 9 would be split up into four roughly equal groups, and rotate through activities for the entire week. It was actually pretty fun tbh. We went to a water park and a swimming pool, and I ended up really enjoying myself.

But when we were given the schedules, I had the bad luck to be sitting next to the guy that this whole post is about. He asked me what my favourite colour out of the four options (red, blue, yellow and green, the usuals) was, and I said green, so he started talking about how we should both be in the green group, and it'd be like a date. At this point in time, we didn't even know if we could choose our groups (spoiler: no we could not). I completely ignored him, as by this point in time, I was pretty certain of my sexuality, and even if I was proved wrong, it wouldn't have been by him.

Once again, things were pretty chill for a while. A month or two ago, I overheard him talking to his friends about me again, and realised "oh great, he still likes me". Fun times.

Today was when everything went properly wrong though.

Him and his friends have developed this annoying habit of beating pretty much everyone, including the teacher, into homegroup, and locking the door once they're in, so I have to cut through the neighbouring room, which happens to be three of my closest friends' homegroup. (This isn't really necessary for the explanation, but two of these friends happen to be the ones mentioned in a minute)

So I walk in and unlock the door, my usual routine these days. In fact, I unlock, test if the mechanism that keeps it open is working, and prop the door open with the bin when it becomes clear that the mechanism is broken. While this is happening, the boy (who from now on will be referred to as Rat Man, since he kinda looks like one (but like the rats you see in new york sewers in animated films), and it's clearer than just referring to him as "the boy") and his friends are pretty much heckling me from the back of the class, telling me to be a rebel and lock the door, and then Rat Man calls out "DO IT FOR [FRIEND'S NAME]!" I stop and look at them, already pretty sure where this is going, and ask him what my friend has to do with any of this. He's not even in our homegroup for fuck's sake!

Our conversation goes pretty much like this:

Rat Man: You know, because there's a thing between you two, isn't there?

Me: What do you mean?

Rat Man: You're more than friends aren't you?

Me (to myself): Oh for fuck's sake.

Me (louder): There's nothing between us. [FRIEND] and I are just friends.

Rat Man and Co.: Sureeeeee

Me: We are!

Rat Man Sidekick 1: Oh he's just jealous.

Me: I can see that.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHH

Sidekick 2: Wait, dude, if she's just friends with [FRIEND], then you have a chance!

Me (not missing a beat): No he doesn't.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHHHHHH

And from there, they start suggesting anyone else I would go out with, starting with one of the other friends from the homegroup I cut through (who isn't even a boy, she's just not out to anyone except our friend group yet), then both of the sidekicks.

To absolutely nobody who has read this far's surprise, I said no to all of them, although I would happily be in a QPR with both of my friends that were mentioned.

The teacher's arrived now, and I get my name checked off on the role so I can go to the assembly about the snow trip that's coming up in a few months (big deal in Australia unsurprisingly).

After that finishes, there's about ten minutes of homegroup left, which I spend, in true Juniper style, writing a fic. (The Malevolent one!)

Afterwards, I confront Rat Man as we're walking to our next classes, none of which we share, thankfully, and tell him we need to talk. His friends respond to this by cheering and slapping him on the back because he's talking to me. They're mostly fairly stereotypical jocks, with the exception of Rat Man himself, who is one of the few people in our homegroup shorter than me (I'm 5'2) and wiry. Hence the rat comparison.

I don't even know how the conversation derailed so quickly, but in about a second, I'm being asked which of the three is the hottest, to which I respond with "None of you?" They insist I have to choose one, and I just shut up. They have to go a different direction to me, so I tell Rat Man we'll talk at lunch. I'm pretty sure I heard him shout "Love you!" as I was walking away, but I'm refusing to unpack that.

Lunch comes, and I eventually track him down, and ask him if he knows what aromantic and asexual mean. (Fuck you tumblr, aromantic is not spelt wrong)

I was prepared for a lot of different directions this could go, and so I'd made sure we were near a teacher if I needed the backup. What I wasn't expecting him to do was burst out laughing and nearly choke on his sandwich.

About thirty seconds later, once he's stopped almost fucking dying, and his friends have asked him what the fuck is wrong with him more than once, he manages to ask "Asexual? Isn't that what chickens are? You know, because they lay eggs?"

I'm starting to think he only passed Health and PE last year because he's good at sports and they count as one combined subject.

I explain what it actually means, and he goes "Oh, so you're rejecting me?"

Me: Yeah, for what, the second time today? Fifth time total?

One of his friends comes and pulls him away, and I'm already late for flute ensemble, so I go to where my friends are, we all have a mutual moment of "what the FUCK?" over what Rat Man thought being ace was, I eat my lunch, and go to flute ensemble.

Once that's over, I have Fashion Design, so I go to class and kind of just stare at the work I'm meant to do for half an hour, before the teacher asks me if I'm okay.

I ask if I can go to the wellbeing office, because I'm having a bad day.

I'd spent the entire lesson up to that point gradually feeling shittier and shittier about what had happened with Rat Man at lunch, since I REALLY hadn't wanted to come out to him, but it seemed like the only way I could maybe get him to leave me alone.

I don't even know if it worked.

I spoke to a teacher, they were really nice about it, and I'm feeling better now, but it still really fucked me up.

The thing about playing "hard to get" is it means that sometimes, some people just can't take a hint. They're so used to the idea of girls that mess around to find someone who will be loyal to them that they assume that's what everyone is doing, and then shit like this happens.

So yeah, fuck the whole idea of playing "hard to get". It's bullshit.

[zaybxdxmi]

RIZ AHMED, CIS MALE, HE/HIM – There goes ZAYAN BADAMI checking into the GOLDEN MOTEL. The THIRTY-EIGHT year old is a PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR (CAMERAMAN) from TAMPA, FL. I think they are CEREBRAL, but I heard that they can also be SARDONIC. Hope they enjoy their stay!

tw: overbearing parent

Zayan Badami is the youngest of three children, the only boy of the bunch. From the day that he was born, Zay held the weight of his father’s expectations. It was the misfortune of having a father set in his ways with some old school thinking; his sisters were always bright and overachieving and yet... he was the son. Every bit of his life was under a microscope, evaluated on whether it was enough or not enough, a worth his time or a waste.

Zay had made it all the way until his junior year at college before he broke. In the middle of a biochemistry exam, he snapped the pencil in his hand in half before he stood up and left, leaving the incomplete midterm and puzzled classmates in his wake. His bio pre-med degree never finished. He sat on that knowledge, his exit from college, for over a month before finally telling his parents over what had been meant to be spring break. Naturally, they did not take it well. Zay suffered his father’s silence for two weeks until he forgot when asking for the remote. Then he was mad at himself, then mad all over again. Things are better but strained for certain.

While he never went back to school, he did go back to his apartment. He clung to what he could of that “college life,” still going to parties and getting turned away from frats. But he had to balance work, starting first as a mailroom clerk. He bounced around from job to job after that: Uber driver, overnight security, the occasional dog walker, plenty of others.

Photography had been a passion he hadn’t fully unlocked until his thirties. It was something he remembered liking, having gone through plenty of disposable cameras as a kid, also insistent to be the one in charge of taking the pictures on family vacations. It was on a whim that he picked one up from the thrift store. It was hobby that slowly became a side gig; there were plenty of families looking for holiday photoshoots. Hell, he’d even shot a cousin’s engagement photos. It wasn’t a career, yet, but it was something to help pay for those impulse purchases and keep his debt from growing.

Somewhere in all of that, him and his two friends got into ghost-hunting. Though, let it be known, Zay doesn’t believe in any of that. He’s very much the skeptical one and when he’s behind the camera, there’s often shots of the camera moving side to side, miming the way his head would shake. For him, there’s always an explanation. How many of these sightings could be zeroed down to lead poisoning? Carbon monoxide poisoning? Just a creaky ass house? Still. It was fun.

Zay always jumped at the chance to pack up and go. After all those years under his parent’s thumb and being the good child he was supposed to have been, he’s embraced being the black sheep and just wants to experience whatever he can. Give him the chance and he’ll think too much about the would have could have should have. So yea, maybe some days he is the one dragging you to go see the World’s Largest Mailbox or check out the abandoned theme park, Jazzland.

While not hesitating to pack up and leave Tampa, Zay had not been willing to leave behind his cat, Lars. He’s tried to hide him from the motel staff but lasted all of a few days before suffering the pet fee. A small price to pay for having his furry son along for the ride.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

new friends

exes

fwb

one-night stand

do not get along

do they live next door? on the same floor?

someone willing to go on dumb side quests with him

went to college together

know his sisters?

maybe went to the same summer camp as kids?

interviewed you about historical stuff / ghost things

watch their paranormal show

more....

[legacymuses]

𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 "𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄" 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑; 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳; 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺

𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘉𝘓𝘖𝘎 𝘋𝘖𝘌𝘚 𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘋𝘖𝘕𝘌/𝘈𝘎𝘙𝘌𝘌 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘈𝘊𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘚 𝘖𝘍 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘔𝘜𝘚𝘌𝘚.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎:

name: oliver "ollie" carter

age: 24-33

gender: cis male ( he/him )

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: motorcycle technician

faceclaim: daniel sharman

location: parramatta, australia / california, usa.

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

triggers/warnings: drugs, general gang related behaviour, group home

oliver carter was put into the system the day he was born. a year or two here there and everywhere, bags permanently packed and never too heavy. by age six he had a routine, practically terrorising whoever was stupid enough to take him in. the guilt was quick to fade once he realised just how little they cared, the lack of effort and instant frustration with him just caused him to pull further away. by fourteen they'd basically given up, tossing him in a group home almost entirely filled with boys much older than he was. it was there that ollie learned to fend for himself… and became a light sleeper. he reunited with a young man who taught him everything he needed to know in a previous home. someone who would protect him above all else ( and end up losing a finger doing it.) that was one reason it stung so bad when he was sent to juvenile and ollie was once again completely alone.  by sixteen he found himself faced with a deadline, in two more years he'd be out on his own and he hadn't even begun to think about money. he had to get on his feet, and fast. at first he started doing favours for people here and there, making deliveries on his bike after school for whoever wanted to pay the fee. but this didn’t go unnoticed. eventually he was approached by some older boys and his small mail business turned into low level drug deliveries for the club. as long as he didn't ask questions, the baby faced teen was perfect for not arousing suspicion. after all, who would think to check a kid's bike basket out in the suburbs?  at eighteen he gained his freedom, that shiny proof of age card turning into his ticket out. with all the money he’d saved over the last two years, he bought a ticket to california and signed up for school. he believed all the struggle was worth it in the end, the day he got his technician license was the best day of his life. if there was one thing he desperately wanted... it was to never get stuck in another illegal job again.  the mechanic shop paid well enough to get him off of friends couches and into a small apartment, and for a total of three months things seemed to be perfect. he loved it there. the heat, the people, the hallucinogens... until the night he crashed through the shed door while on mushrooms. with blurry vision and bright lights in his eyes, he wasn’t sure what he was looking at for a while. but sure enough… patches and plants and guns pointed right at him.   the mechanic was a front. nothing more than a way to launder money for the real business that went on out back. every person he knew and cared for was in on it… he was the last to know. faced with the choice to initiate or run as far as he had the first time, ollie picks the easy option. if the universe wanted him in a gang so damn badly who was he to fight it? it felt like a sick joke. the moment he started muttering about being cursed was the day they pushed him into desk duty, telling him to rotate between the customers and the bikes. at least it kept him from staring through them like they'd betrayed him. maybe they had. maybe there was no coming back from where he'd ended up.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒:

superstitious, genuinely believes he's cursed

believes magic mushrooms are the key to unlocking some kind of peace

big techie, will talk your ear off about mods

𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯…

𝘱𝘭𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘹

[kitkatt0430]

In episode 20 of 90s Flash, i wonder how evil the bad guy can really be? I mean... he just wants to let everyone get a much needed nap.

I could use more naps is all I'm saying.

Murphy and Bellows arrest a guy - small time crook, repeat offender - and Murph's kinda tired. Insomnia. I sympathize, insomnia sucks.

But oh no, their friendly repeat offender has passed out with a smile on his face. Except, no, he's not unconscious... he's dead!

Okay, so maybe the bad guy is evil after all. That is not a nap.

Barry helps with the autopsy today. Apparently he went to school with the dead guy's cousin. He finds a weird device on Harry (the dead guy) - which Barry identifies as being a device intended to induce endorphins - explain the dead guy's grin - and gets used to help people quit smoking. Of course, when Barry and the mortician leaves, a not particularly sneaky sneak makes his way in to fiddle with the body and revive the dead guy from a deep coma.

Okay, so that is a nap after all. A very deep nap that fakes death.

Harry wants to 'make it bigger' to put the whole city to sleep. Roger (unstealthy sientist) looks... dubious.

Barry is experiencing an identity theft issue - his identity has been confused with that of a deadbeat with a similar name. After learning he keeps his social security card in his wallet in the Mirror Master episode, I am entirely unsurprised. Barry, you practically walked right into that.

And now IA is looking into the missing body of the "dead" guy. Barry's boss is being an ass and IA dude is acting like he's gonna go after Barry on this. Lovely.

Meanwhile, Harry and Roger putting mice into a lovely nap.

Roger - We could make legit money in the sleep aid business. Harry - Or we could be super thieving cousins together! So much better am I right? Roger - *dubious*

Turns out Roger is the guy Barry went to school with. It's a small world, after all. *continues singing*

Barry - *touches Roger's experiments* Roger's experiments - *set themselves on fire*

Oh, Barry sees the same tag thing that was on Harry's body.

Barry - *suspicious*

IA dude continues to be suspicious, following Barry and taking pics of both Barry and the not-so-dead guy.

Barry takes the tag to Tina and while she's testing it she almost passes out. Discovering that it's the vibrations that knock a person out.

Barry goes to investigate Harry and Roger's theft and puts all the stolen money back, but then passes out when he returns to normal speeds. Harry is about to shoot Barry - thus leveling him up from petty crimes - but Roger stops him.

Yup there goes IA trying to pin shit on Barry that he didn't do. The Lieutenant is actually trying to protect Barry here. Clumsily, but I do get the impression he believes Barry.

Fosnight sees Harry is alive and with Roger - cameo or will my fav CI reach out to Barry again?

Anyway, more theft! More profit!

Barry has more faith in the police wanting to be above even the perception of guilt than reality calls for.

Tina - These nap time devices can kill people if they stay asleep too long.

Harry and Roger's new backers - *beat up cops* That's our version of the sleep device.

Roger learns the mice died after being asleep too long. He wants to start doing the right thing only for Harry to shoot him. Barry shows up and switches out of his Flash suit to put Roger at ease (after putting the bad guys away in various places) intending to find out how badly hurt Roger is and hopefully get him to the hospital in time but...

He did not secure the bad guys well enough and he's knocked out. Framed for Roger's death. Poor Roger, he wasn't really a bad guy.

IA - I'm gonna play this as stupid as I possibly can.

At least he's got Julio on his side. If only Julio knew Barry was the Flash.

Barry, super stealth, unlocks his cell, leaves the old pillow and blanket trick behind, and leaves. *snicker*

Fosnight! Pretending to be a nun. I really love that guy.

Barry - Drop the habit, alright? You're not the religious type.

hehehehe

IA shows up to badger Barry, finds him missing. How can he make things worse? Let's find out.

Uh-oh, now everyone is passing out. Right as Mr. IA claims that Barry got away. I do see how Barry can fix things for himself now. If he's *wink wink* fast enough.

But, oh no, Barry's asleep too. Can Tina save him? Though now she's being affected through the phone. Cue dramatic music as Tina puts in her ear guards and then rushes off to save the day! Go Tina!!!

Tina manages to avoid capture and rescue Barry, giving him her only set of earbuds and passing out in result. But first she left him a message. And then snuggles against his shoulder for nap time.

Barry gently puts Tina aside and then runs off to go stop the bad guys. By cutting the power. Though before Barry stops the bad guys, Harry kills another one of his partners. This one is a lot less sympathetic than poor Roger, but still... sucks for him.

Barry shows up, takes care of the bad guys by tossing them in their own care and then taking Harry off to the CCPD. And then Barry slips back into his jail cell like he was never gone.

Mr. IA - O_O but he escaped, I swear. Everyone else - Yeah, sure he did. 'Cause he's zippy like the Flash, right?

Harry's kinda lost it and confesses to everything. Mr. IA looks like he feels like an idiot. And hates Barry.

I could see him coming back with a chip on his shoulder had there been a S2.

We don't get resolution on Barry's identity theft/debtors trying to stick him with someone else's problems issue but presumably that gets cleared up before the next ep starts.

[dogmouthdoedrum]

Also I have been having a lot of gender lately and realizing that it certainly comes from how other perceive me and talking to someone who just doesn't perceive me in that way has been unlocking a lot, like yes I love she/her and fae/faer pronouns and I always use they/them because I'm rocking a lot of gender but also when talking about dom terms and it turns out I really like Sir even if I don't feel masc all the time (or even in a cis way?? Like masc but in the way that others rock it like butch lesbians that use he/him) and there's so much gender in being called someone's boyfriend and then hearing she/her pronouns. There's something so incredibly fun about the way gender runs around in a little maze in my mind and the way that it bumps the sides dictate my vibes and I think it's neat I can even comprehend vaguely what's going on in there.

[butmakeitgayblog]

The straps on that little black dress can be so easily pulled down for Clarke too 😩 And the hemline so easily hiked up. What a wonderful night for Lexa and Clarke in CI. Can't wait to see what you come up with 😍

Somebody mentioned that I forgot to mention, reminder that this is unmitigated filth 😬 In all fairness tho, I did say it was turning out way dirtier than I'd anticipated. Ok. As you were. Enjoy😌

///////////////////

Her laughter is such a precious thing.

As fleeting and rare as it is.

Because more often than not she's a woman of silence, of such stern disinterested contempt that when the bells of her joy ring out... It's ecstasy.

For you it is, anyway.

Because you're the only one who gets to see it. At least in its genuine form. Not the prefectly practiced lilts or the calculated twists of her lips.

No.

You get the belly laughs.

The throaty ones.

The ones when her eyes pinch shut and her head tips back. You're honored to linger in the space of that adorable crease that hides just above the curve of her full upper lip.

And she's given them all to you so freely tonight, each shape and shade of her amusement. As though her very blood has been replaced with something more bubbly. More light.

Maybe it's just that she's more in love with you this particular evening.

You can't tell.

She's the kind of woman that can make the most nihilistic person prone to wishful thinking.

She snatches up your hand and drags you from the elevator of your hotel, leaves you trailing behind her like an adoring puppy. The wine-loosened swing of her limbs deserves to be immortalized as she unlocks the double doors to your suite through their slight sway.

You feel more than hear her giggle as you press against her and crowd her into the room. Bump your hips against her backside and tumble in with her, and wish you could bottle moments like this to save for a rainy day. Freeze them to replay them at your every leisure.

The entirety of the moment.

Her elbow to your ribs included.

You feign an exaggerated grunt and double over, but the little shit just grins over her shoulder and disappears into the bedroom with short quickened steps.

You slingshot around the couch and burst open the door and barrel into the room and--

And feel arms wrap around your waist and unceremoniously fling your ass right onto the bed.

You land with an 'oof' in the downy plumage of comforter and pillows, somehow bouncing twice on the mattress you've spent the last three nights complaining was too hard.

When the smoke and feathers settle, your assassin stands over you in triumph.

"Was that necessary?"

Lexa merely tosses her clutch onto the bed beside your laid-wasted form and reaches up to start undoing the few pins in her hair.

You huff and raise up on your elbows.

"Surprise attack. The betrayal of it all."

"Don't be sour, darling," she breathes through a grin as she moves to toss the pins back onto the beauty table. "You're prettier on your back anyway."

You watch her pull her ponytail loose and run fingers through the newly freed twists of hair across her shoulders, and you don't think it's fair for one person to look that good. Her sigh is gentle as she walks to the stretch of windows that make up an entire wall of your room. It sounds content. Peaceful. Relaxed, there with you.

Your eyes drink her in with the moon as her backdrop, silhouetted in the glow and shimmer of the city that sprawls out below her feet. She rests her hands on the railing and looks to the night sky, and all you see is your assassin turned queen safely guarded in the highest turret of her tower.

A sovereign at peace reigning over you, surveying the vastness of her hard fought kingdom.

She always seems so powerful.

So goddamn regal it makes you ache.

You can't even begin to fathom a time when you didn't love your smartass little conqueror.

Unfortunately her tranquility always raises your bloodlust.

And she knows peace has never really been your forte.

You push up and off the bed in one fluid motion, gaze dropping to the swell of her ass that pops magnificently in those heels. The ones you'd innocently asked her to wear and she'd thoughtlessly obliged.

Her eyes watch you stalk closer in the reflection of the glass. Only a lazy blink passes between you when your hands caress her hips.

"Good anniversary, baby?"

She leans back barely an inch, just enough to settle against your chest. You love feeling the weight of her like this, as though she knows she can't fall when you're near. As though she knows you will always handle her burdens as your own.

She reaches up to stroke fingers along your neck and sift through the fine curls of your hair, turns her head just enough to catch your lips in the gentlest kiss.

"I couldn't imagine anything more perfect, my darling," she whispers in a dreamy daze.

And you smile with how fucked up you are because her voice is sweeter than sugar and cream and yet that sounded intriguingly like a challenge to your ears.

You run your hands over her belly with a questioning hum and lap at the seal of her mouth. But the hitch that rolls through her chest when your fingers trail along her waist makes you greedy. Has you slowing just to relish the warmth of her breath as she pulls back enough to look at you with sharpened eager eyes.

The smell of french lavender and honey clings to her skin as you paint kisses along her neck. You trace the tips of your fingers up her arm and fall in love with the trail of goosebumps that erupt in their wake.

Her reflection watches your every movement as you slip aside the straps of her dress with barely a touch and let them drape. You take your time, mouthing your devotion and ill intent to each little cluster of freckles that dot the creamy expanse of her shoulder.

"Such a pretty dress," you murmur as your hands drop to caress her hips and smooth over the bare thigh that just peeks out.

You find the top of the slit that's held your attention captive for hours and burn at the gasp of realization that flares across her face right before you grab each side and rip.

"So pretty."

"Clarke—"

You stop her when she tries to move, shush her with little more than lingering peck to her lips as you slide your palm up the swathe of newly freed skin.

Her eyes are flat and hooded with hunger as her hips give a restless twitch. But she's good for you. Knows she better be when you're in this mood. She silently yields as you nudge between the inner swell of her thighs and spreads her legs. Your touch inches higher up the slope of her hip and oh—

"Oh my," you breathe when the realization crashes down and lean back just far enough to pull the fabric side. "Now, now... Aren't we a sneaky little slut tonight?"

Your smile is wicked when her head snaps around to glare at you because you're good and goddamn aware that word isn't yours to use.

Know it's only meant for her. Only gets her off when it's spilling from her lips in broken moans while you messily beg her to fuck you senseless.

But as you glance to the supple cleft of her ass beneath the torn fabric of her dress, you can't help but feel it's rather fitting just this once.

So.

She'll just have to get over it.

A swift clap of your hand against the naked cheek is enough to pull her back into the moment anyway.

Her hiss sounds divine and the buck of her hips makes you feel reckless. Makes you feel powerful, and bold, and you're so fucking in love with her for always giving those gifts to you.

"I wanna see you," you whisper in the scant space that lets your lips just brush against hers.

Her impatience huff is always thrilling.

"Goddamn, Clarke," is all she manages to whine before you shush her again.

It's still not her turn to talk.

"Aw, baby," you coo and tsk and crowd in close.

Smooth your hand up her spine to wrap your fingers around the slope of her neck.

Brush your lips against her ear and feel her shiver.

"That wasn't a suggestion." You kiss her slack lips and breathe your words sickly-sweet. "Now... Bend that pretty ass over."

You can't but smile at the sound of her choked back moan, so pleased with how this warlord still bends to your will.

Because she's good and so beautiful as she dips and bows her back, hips raising prefectly into your waiting palms. She sighs as you push her dress up and bunch it out of your way. Lets her head hang as cool air washes over the flushed pink that's already wet. She rocks twice against nothing, searching for some kind of relief for her ache.

And being the tender hearted lover that you are, you take pity on her.

"Touch yourself. Let me see."

A whine so soft you almost miss it rumbles low in her chest.

You'll take it as a thank you for being so kind.

Because she adjusts and moans as she slips a hand between her thighs. Sways her ass the way she knows you love as you lean back just enough to see her, hands still caress the swell of her hips as her fingers begin to play.

This little game had started back when you were still learning each other. Still growing up and together and more in love. When the sounds of her tormenting you through your shared bedroom wall still haunted your every daydream. You'd just wanted to see how long she could go, how in the godliest of hells she had managed to edge herself for hours on end, and the little shit had made it her mission to put on a show.

But like all things with this girl you became an addict. A junkie whose drug of choice was watching her make herself come.

It was a bed of her own making, and you adore letting her writhe in it.

Your eyes watch her fingers swipe through the dripping slick in massaging passes, gliding over swollen lips and spreading herself open. She dips down and circle the edge of her clit. She knows better than to dawdle under the burn of your gaze, earning a groan and a squeeze of your hands when she bucks against her own touch.

You lick the desert that is your lips when she toys at her entrance, murmur tiny sweet words as she teases herself with a few glancing presses before pushing inside. An answering ache lances through you at the sight of a delicate finger fucking in languid thrusts. Because you know what those fingers feel like inside of you, know how she feels wrapped around you, and sometimes this game is all too much.

She's practically shaking in your grip, sounds turning needy and strangled in her throat and you decide that's quite enough.

Her gasp sounds relieved when you whisper, "C'mere, baby." When you wrap an arm under waist and guide her to stand up. She turns at the sudden flex of your wrists and scrambles to regain her grip on the railing to stay on her feet.

And she's good, so fucking good for you, as always, because the slick sheen of her fingers are already waiting. She watches with dark eyes as you lick an obscene stripe up her fingers before leaning forward and taking them completely into your mouth.

Her lips cling to you in their fullness when you move to kiss her, urgent and enveloping, like they can't quite make themselves pull away as she sucks the taste of herself from your tongue.

You know she loves the taste of you. But she loves the taste of herself on you even more.

So you let her lick her own arousal clean. Feel lightheaded as she wraps a leg around your hips. Your hands move with a mind of their own as you twitch the top of her dress down to pool at her waist. Her skin is velvet beneath your touch, beneath your lips, as you kiss down her neck and across her chest.

Her head hits the window with a dull thud when you cup her breasts, eyes hooded and pupils blown as she watches your lips wrap around her nipple. Her hand cradles your head as she hisses and writhes at the flick of your tongue against the staining pebbled flesh.

You kiss again because you have to. Because she looks too pretty not to when she's this desperate. And she feels so good you don't have the heart to throw a fit when she takes your hand and guides it to where she needs you.

She's literally dripping when you slip into her, strings of arousal smearing across your fingertips as you stroke through swollen folds. Her clit twitches as you run gentle circles over it, already straining out of its hood, and you moan at how hot and hard it feels beneath your touch.

You hold her eyes as you slide into her. Let your mouth fall open in a sympathetic gasp because the warmth of being inside her feels amazing for you too.

Her nails bite your back and heel digs into your ass as you press her harder against the window, clinging and so needy as your thigh adds power to each of your thrusts.

It's only when she loses herself to the moment, when she gives total control over and lets her head fall to your shoulder, that you allow yourself a devilish smile.

Because now you can look out at the world sprawling below her.

At her very kingdom laid out at your feet.

You twist your fingers.

Chuckle as you earn another moan.

And keep fucking your queen for all the world to see.