#and a lot of cis people would do very well to explore their gender and expression

[hell0mega]

more cis characters named Moss and Fish and more trans and enby characters named Dave and Jennifer. and yes they're all chosen names

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

[prince-liest]

I know you’ve gotten asks already talking about how happy they are that you’re going more in depth on the subject of Vox being trans in your next installment, but I can’t help myself… I’m so excited that you’re writing about that. It can be difficult to find trans rep in fandom spaces sometimes and your stories are so well written that this is like a gift from god. SO ANYWAY I’m super happy and your works are amazing and I just hope you know how many people value your works for all that they give.

Secondly, I was wondering whether or not Vox would have been trans on earth or just in hell? I mean I’m sure it would be difficult considering the time period but I also couldn’t think of a reason why he would be cis on earth but trans in hell. UNLESS he realized he was trans in hell/was finally able to do something about it?? Anyway, all of this is just speculation, I am only curious!!

Regardless, great work. It genuinely means a lot to me, if no one else :)

Oh, man, I'm ngl, one of my little, "Wait! I can do anything I want!!!!" moments of going mad with power once I got more and more experience at writing was realizing that I could just trans anyone's gender at-will and I didn't need anyone's permission for that. I still remember the first time I quietly decided an OC of mine was trans (love you, Laledy, you obnoxious asshole). I'm always a little apprehensive to start writing trans characters in new fandoms, mostly because I've been in a number of fandoms that have corners that get very tetchy about their weird gender role stuff, but it's consistently been met with such a positive reaction that it really brings me joy. So thank you so very, very much!!

My personal take on Vox in 666 specifically (a lot of which isn't going to come up because he does not want to get into it) is that he wasn't personally really in a position or environment conducive to considering trans-ness as, like, a thing that happens when he was alive, and he put his all into putting on The Correct Gender Performance with the vim and aplomb that we see from him in canon, plus all the underlying bullshit that goes into maintaining that facade. So, y'know. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, minus the Jewish. Which did not do amazing things for his mental health, not that he let himself pay attention to that at the time!

And then he wakes up, in hell, with this weird-ass demon body with a television for a head, and - well, it just makes sense to present as a man at that point, doesn't it? Hell is dog-eat-dog, and he's not going to pick the submissive gender to put himself on the back foot from the start!

He figures out what the fuck being trans even is eventually, just. Not for a while, and not until after someone like Valentino, having known and assumed that Vox is trans as a given for fucking months, mentions it offhandedly to Vox, who had been mentally describing himself as "just lying about his sex like those girls in stories that get shit done by dressing up as men". Then he gets to have his own little spiral about it, and also why it's upsetting him, and why he felt so vulnerable about Valentino knowing, and why Valentino specifically, Mr. Fishnets, Heels, and Microminis, is the one that ended up in a position not only to know this about Vox but for Vox to feel comfortable having any kind of sex with. It wasn't something Vox had to analyze back when it was just "her" freaky boyfriend being into pegging!

Okay, fuck, I have even more feelings about trans Vox than I thought I did, hahahaha.

Might fuck around and write a staticmoth-centric prequel interlude at some point if I have the brain cells for it. Vox is a lot more confident and comfortable with his gender now, to the point where he can absolutely see fucking around in a dress for kinky reasons as crossdressing and not being forced back into a box that doesn't fit, but it'd be neat to explore the earlier days. Val isn't here for gender, he's here to be sexy, but Vox... this IS the origin of the daddy kink, just saying.

[eff-plays]

People get really defensive about "writing Astarion with women" when what people are actually annoyed/upset about is that people are putting him in heteronormative relationships with women.

And it's not like, "YOU, INDIVIDUAL WOMAN, WROTE HIM WITH A WOMAN? A POX ON YOUR HOUSE!" and more like "a majority of fandom is writing him in this specific way with this specific type of character that doesn't really reflect who he is in the game and shoehorns him into a generic booktok dom daddy."

Which. Yeah. People are allowed to feel annoyed/alienated by that type of trend. I think. Maybe. I've seen several fics where Astarion being with big burly men (implied to have been penetrated) was portrayed as traumatic, while being with little virginal female Tav was "healing". And yeah, you're technically acknowledging his pansexuality ... But the implications aren't great. Ya know?

And there's a LOT of conflating domming/topping/being on top. Which ends up only highlighting the heteronormative approach to a lot of fic about him. "He gets on top > so he always tops/penetrates > so he's a dom." Because for some reason penetrating others is less traumatic to him than to be penetrated? Which is a whole bag of worms that people seem reluctant/unable to unpack.

Now, the other side of this argument are people who go "lmao those delusional wamen think this homosexual twink would top them" which is. Also not great? But in the end reflects the same type of reductive and heteronormative argument, it's just coming from the other side of the spectrum. He's flamboyant and pretty so he MUST be incapable of putting his dick into someone else. And he's MORE feminine than the women he gets paired with, so obviously that's unrealistic and he must be paired with a big strong man instead. Which is like. Well you're paired him with a man but you're still being just very heteronormative about it. Even gay relationships must have a "man" and a "woman", is your argument? And Astarion, being beautiful and a presumed bottom, is "the woman"?? Hmm. Don't like that.

Maybe. Astarion is. Pansexual. And can both bone down and be boned down. Maybe he does have a preference. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doms, maybe he subs. Maybe he switches depending on mood/partner. Maybe he likes different sex positions where he's on top and ones where he's below. Maybe he's down for whatever as long as it's with someone he loves. Maybe he's neither "the man" nor "the woman" in a relationship and he's simply Astarion, a man in a relationship. Maybe in the end it doesn't fucking matter and putting him into rigid binaries is doing him a disservice.

Anyway. My nonbinary Tav's gonna upgrade his gender to Man+. Cis premium. They're gonna explore his gender and preferences and expression together. I think that might be fun and freeing maybe. And they're gonna take turns topping and bottoming and both will be soooooo healing because um. They're having consensual sex and are in love. So it's healing by default. Regardless of who's putting what where.

Well. Anyway. All I'm saying is. Stuff.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #4188:

(ONE of!!) the things that bothers me so much about "genderbends are transphobic just make them trans instead!!" discourse is that, it ignores so many different elements or possibilities. It's not just changing how they look, but deciding which elements of their personality they would keep and what parts would change, and how that would effect they way world perceives them and thus how they interact with the world.

Example: I have one character who's a hyper-feminine, Instagram influencer, rich spoiled snobby model type, and (an OUT) lesbian. Now in a world where she were a guy, how would that work? There are a few different possibilities.

One would be to leave her entire personality completely unchanged--she would come off as a flamboyant gay stereotype. The way society as a whole perceives and reacts to a very feminine man is EXTREMELY different from how it would react to a feminine woman. Also, leaving EVERYTHING the same, how would that reflect on her attraction? would she stay *gay* and be attracted to solely men? Or, would she stay *attracted to exclusively women*? This would be pretty unexpected for someone looks and acts like most people's gay male stereotype.

The other option would be to swap her extreme femininity for extreme masculinity. I'm thinking, "Alpha male sigma grindset" variety of dudebro. Of course, these types attract a very specific audience who are NOT known to be very accepting. If he were gay what would be the reaction of people in his circle? How would he deal with knowing his entire career and public image could be upended if this were known to anyone? Would he stay closeted to maintain his position or would he be out and to hell with what people think of it?

There's too many different facets and directions to explore the idea of changing a characters gender to write them all off completely. To write them as specifically trans would be a whole other completely different direction.

A privileged cis man growing up in a world with "toxic masculinity" ideals would not likely have the same experience as a trans man who is otherwise in his exact same position in life. He would go from someone who has NEVER had to prove himself, to someone who CONSTANTLY has to prove himself and ALWAYS being doubted. Or if the same person were transfem, they have a LOT to risk and to lose, the relative privilege she'd been afforded up to that point would surely be pulled right out from under her if she were ever to come out or publicly transition, but would it be worth living a lie?

It's not a narrative NOT worth exploring as well, but shouldn't be the ONLY narrative. "DON'T DO GENDERBENDS JUST MAKE THEM TRANS!!" It is NOT as simple as just slapping the trans flag on them and then calling it a day. And it is not transphobic to examine a characters' relationship to their gender and the impact that has on themselves and the way they fit into the world.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.

a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.

i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.

i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.

i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.

this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.

i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.

i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.

anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?

What are these acronyms?

[kcyars99]

This is Imane Khelif. She is a boxer from Algeria. 🇩🇿

You're probably going to be hearing a lot about her from your bigoted uncle this weekend, especially now that everyone's least-favorite bigoted aunt, J.K. Rowling, has offered her incredibly worthless opinion on today's fight between two cis (aka BiOLoGiCaL for y'all that need that) women.

Things worth noting: 🇮🇹 The boxer who quit today's fight--Angela Carini of Italy--said her quitting wasn't political and that she was not passing judgment on Khelif's eligibility. She said the shot to her nose did something different to her than most hits she's ever taken.

🇹🇼 Last year, Imane (along with Taiwan's Lin Yu-ting) faced a ruling by the International Boxing Association that they--despite being cis or 'BioLoGiCaL🥴' women--had "advantages" of a genetic nature, leading to a decision not to let them fight.

🇺🇸 U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps, celebrated as the greatest swimmer of all time, has a genetic condition where his body produces half of the lactic acid of a normal cis man. For this biological quirk (along with his hyper-mobility) he is lauded.

🇩🇿 Algerian sports officials and other Algerian athletes have spoken in Imane's defense, including national team soccer player ​​Ismaël Bennacer who said Khelif is "suffering a wave of unjustified hatred."

🥇 The Olympics do not recognize IBA or its rulings and carried out their own set of testing standards which every athlete you see competing had to pass.

🇯🇵 Imane also fought at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021, where she was beaten in the quarterfinals by Irish boxer Kellie Harrington--another 'BioLoGiCaL🥴' woman.

🥊 For the weirdos who obsess over genitals, this person was born with a vagina. Meaning that by y'all's weird rules where you want to check in kids' pants before they compete, Imane would be deemed "girl athlete."

🏊 Meanwhile, Katie Ledecky today became the most decorated women's swimmer ever by pulling in a silver medal, after yesterday continuing her long streak of dominating everyone in the world in the 1500, where she holds the top TWENTY best times. Ever. And people on the internet spent the day calling her a man.

🧨 This should be a nonissue, but JOANNE and Elon and your bigoted uncle are latching onto it because they want to continue to push the deadly narrative against trans folks via any possible means. Even in a case where the person they're demonizing isn't trans in the first damn place. If she as a cis woman has more testosterone than other cis women athletes, well, that's not all that uncommon. Y'all wanna tell women with PCOS that they're not really women?

🩺 I don't know how many times I've shared that Open Ocean Exploration thread, by a literal biologist, explaining how common it is that people have sex variations that they don't even know about. I'll share it again since it's just about the most concise look at X/Y diversity I've ever seen. It's really wild to watch folks who copied off of my in high school biology act like they know more than actual scientists and doctors every single time I post it. --Find that post here:

#ParisOlympics2024

#OlympiansMadeHere

#olympicsboxing

(This originally called Joanne a bigoted uncle while still using her correct pronouns which I think conveys that she's basically the living embodiment of everyone's metaphorical racist uncle, gender be damned, but a few people felt it was misgendering her which was very much not the point so I changed it just to stop infighting since there's already plenty enough fighting with actual bigots to be doing.)

[fanby-fckry]

Random Facts About UH3 Alastor:

His father was an on-again-off-again feature in his and his mother’s lives until Alastor was 12, and is a big part of why Alastor has BPD traits and gets along better with women than men.

(If you’re new to this AU, or missed my other Cluster B Alastor posts, hi! Author has BPD and accidentally projected onto Alastor. Now I write him as intentionally having multiple Cluster B traits that I do, as well as the ones implied by canon.)

His parents weren’t married – to each other; Alastor has a stepmother he’s never met and doesn’t want to meet.

He claims that drinking was more fun during Prohibition because it was illegal.

He has rose-colored glasses regarding the previous fact; Prohibition-era Alastor absolutely complained about how much harder it was to get alcohol after the ban went through.

He doesn’t view nudity as inherently sexual.

He’s still more comfortable with others’ nudity than his own because he equates it to vulnerability.

He’s panaesthetic and bisensual. He doesn’t know those terms even exist, but picking microlabels helps my writing stay more consistent.

His aesthetic attraction isn’t based at all on gender, but he tends to feel more comfortable with physical affection from women than from men, which skews the sensual attraction a bit.

He can be sensually attracted to men and is sensually attracted to Lucifer, but 1.) it’s rarer and/or takes longer for Alastor to develop sensual attraction to a man, and 2.) Lucifer isn’t a man in the human gender binary sense of the word.

Lucifer is the only nonbinary person Alastor has ever felt any kind of attraction to, but that has more to do with lack of exposure to nonbinary people than anything regarding Alastor’s tertiary orientations.

Alastor may or may not have some gender fuckery of his own going on, but I doubt I’ll ever be exploring that in the main series.

I would describe Alastor’s gender as ��man by default.” He doesn’t think about it very often. He’s not exactly an egg; it’s not that he’s in denial or unaware that being something besides a man is an option, it’s that he doesn’t care enough to pick a different label. He’s not dysphoric about being a man, but he’s not supper attached to the idea, either.

I think if he was born into Gen Z, he might identify as agender or cassgender, but as it stands, he inhabits the liminal space between, “I don’t feel strongly about my gender, which means I’m cis,” and “I don’t feel strongly about my gender, which means I’m not cis.” (Both valid experiences, btw.)

He’s 100% the type of person to tell a traumatic story from his childhood as if it’s a funny one and not understand why everyone’s looking at him like that.

He legitimately thinks that these stories are funny, because he’s twisted them around in his mind as an attempt to cope, but they retain enough of the original detail that on the rare occasion he decides to joke about them out loud, people go, “that’s kinda fucked up, actually.”

He has low empathy, but not no empathy. Every now and again, he does actually get some empathy, and every time he does it feels like a slap in the face – surprising and very unpleasant. If he could turn it off entirely, he probably would.

Remorse is a similar ordeal, rare but not unheard of, and he actively denies feeling it.

I started to write more about Alastor’s relationship with the concept of remorse, and remorse vs regret, but honestly, it needs its own post.

I projected a lot of my ace experience onto him, including the idea that kissing is boring 9 times out of 10. Not necessarily unpleasant, just… Boring. If there’s blood or biting or some form of D/s element, then it can be exciting, but otherwise we don’t get it.

[bluedalahorse]

Blue’s Contrary Young Royals Opinions Poll (make your own if you want to!)

Just for funsies, I created a poll about my Contrary Young Royals Opinions. I’m calling them Contrary rather than Unpopular because different things are popular in different parts of fandom, and things cycle in and out of popularity, so who knows what’s popular even? Rather, these are just things that I am stubborn and ornery about. Some of them might be mainstream opinions, but I am stubborn and ornery about them all the same.

You all know that I am an August Enjoyer who obstinately ships sargust, so I did not put that on the poll. I also feel that my sargust shipping and August enjoying sometimes obscures my other contrary opinions because it’s like, my signature trait. So this is a chance to talk about other things!

Please vote and reblog for the sake of fun and interesting data. Add commentary in the tags if you feel like it. Also feel free to create your own Contrary Opinion poll, because I wanna see what other people’s contrary opinions are.

Explanations below the cut. Click if you want to know more about what each poll button means to me in more depth.

Wille is demi and bi and should explore his gender more post-canon. Now, in canon, Wille is unlabeled, and I wanna respect that. So this is more headcanon than anything else. I know some folks read Wille as exclusively same-sex attracted. I do not (although I support people doing such) but I also read him as much more on the demisexual and/or demiromantic end of the spectrum than anything else. Of course I am aspec, so I’m seeing it through this lens. On the gender side of things, well, I just think it would be neat? Wille trying on nail polish and then furiously scrubbing it off breaks my heart. It feels like the royal fam has controlled Wille’s gender expression most of his life and made him present in this more conservative masculine way, and he hasn’t had many options. I also do think Wille’s explosive anger is something he’ll have to grapple with in the future, and I see his anger as tied to a lot of the masculine socializing he was raised in. So having outlets for his feelings that are a little less conventionally masculine could be good. Let Wille wear nail polish. Let him wear skirts. Let him experiment with his hair! I’m of the opinion that even cis people should explore their gender, so even if he played with his gender expression for six months and then decided he’d continue to present conventionally masculine again, that would be good for him. (But in my heart I’m a bit of a he/they Wille truther, not gonna lie.)

Simon does some things wrong and that’s wonderful actually. Let me explain what I mean by this. There is a popular view of Simon where he’s very selfless and makes sacrifices for his loved ones and stands up for what he believes in, while also having to suffer and do a lot of things out of desperation. This is true. There is also a co-existing side of Simon that’s a little less selfless, a little more ambitious, and a little bit more likely to make assumptions about what other people want or need without consulting them. There’s the Simon who feels he has to protect Sara when she clearly doesn’t want him to, and the Simon who hides things from Linda when he shouldn’t. There’s the Simon who calls Bjärstad shitty in a way that upsets Rosh and Ayub at the beginning of season 1, who enlists Rosh and Ayub to help intimidate August in 1.3 without fully thinking about how they might feel about it. Yes, Simon does a lot of things out of selfless care for others and out of desperation, but to assume he only ever does things for selfless, desperate reasons without any selfish impulses or ambition mixed in is… well, it misses some of the most fascinating contradictions in his character. Let Simon be a selfish teenager sometimes! It’s developmentally appropriate and it might one day save his life.

Dirtbag Erik > Perfect Brother Erik. I never really gravitated toward the perfectly supportive headcanon for Erik that was popular in some corners of fandom. I know this is not a radical thing to claim after season 3 and a lot of people are coming out of the woodwork and saying it. I think the point I want to make here is less that Ambiguously A Dirtbag Erik is canon and more that he’s inherently more interesting to me to read about than Saint Erik, Patron of Lost Little Brothers. I’m sort of fascinated by the way that interactions with family members always have layers, and that you look back on past events and uncover more of the layers as you grow up. That’s the shit I live for in fiction. I also don’t love discussions about “what would Erik do if he were alive” because I enjoy sitting in the horrific tension of characters not knowing but having to build a better world in his absence.

August/Nils should have a lot more fics on AO3 than it does. As far as I can tell it has one. One! I ship August with Sara first and foremost but August and Nils have some unexpectedly tender moments in season 3 that made me go “wait, that’s interesting…” about their relationship. Yes, August keeps calling Nils nouveau riche. Yes, Nils finds August’s perfectionism annoying. These are all just tensions to play on to make the eventual bittersweet, conflicted makeout scene more bittersweet and conflicted and hot. If August/Vincent can suddenly gain more fics post season 3, it surprises me that August/Nils hasn’t surpassed them.

Linda deserves to have a life and hobbies beyond her kids, and especially beyond being perfect for her kids. Don’t get me wrong, she does care about Simon and Sara a lot and does what she can for them. And because we’re watching a show centered around teenage characters, we’re mostly gonna imagine her in her capacity as a mom. But I also love seeing the moments in canon where Linda is less than perfect—when she embarrasses her kids, or when she comes down hard on them in ways that are less than helpful—because that shows the human vulnerabilities beneath. That she’s trying to figure things out in the moment, and she isn’t always right. That makes me love her more. And I’d desperately love to see Linda have a hobby like, I dunno, writing a crime novel every NaNoWriMo or something. (I have put this into a fanfic, actually.)

Frida and Malte and Nikita are the hottest of the Main Five actors. I get the appeal of Omar in abstract way, but he looks exactly like the crush of one of my chief OCs in a YA novel I was writing, so I think of him as OC Rose’s crush and feel no draw to him myself. Edvin is a great actor but does nothing for me aesthetically. Oh, aesthetic attraction. So individualized to all of us!

Salice is more meaningful to me as a platonic ship than a romantic one. I am so glad they bring people joy as a romantic ship, and I’m happy to gift the fic ideas I do get for them to the people who love them, but for me they matter more as best friends. When I write them, I draw on real platonic friendships I have had in my real life, ones that matter a lot. Sara breaking up with August to prioritize friendship feels more radical to me. Also sometimes I think I’m a Bad Sapphic for having these thoughts about Salice, but then I remember that Heart and Homeland has so much sapphic content involving Felice and other women, as well as just sapphic content beyond that, and I sleep easier.

Rosh should be shipped with all the other girls, and frequently and creatively. Yes, Madirosh is an overnight fanon sensation we should celebrate that. Yes, Stella/Rosh took us by surprise and by storm for a hot minute, and we should do more of it. But have we considered… Fredrika trying to angrily and messily seduce Rosh because Stella seemed to be crushing on her? How about Rosh and Felice as a glorious butch/femme power couple? How about if Sara is gonna date a tall athletic brunette she dates one who plays a real sport (football) and not a fake sport (rowing)? I hope we all see the vision.

Oops Vincent is sympathetic sometimes. Look, I am not going to deny that Vincent is a bully who sucks. I also think his first year letter was telling. In the letter, Vincent, at sixteen, has just received his ADHD diagnosis. That’s a long time for a rich white boy to go without getting one! That means he’s probably had sixteen years to struggle to pay attention in class—he’s probably acting out and moving around a lot, and internalizing the idea that he Can’t Do School. His parents probably make some “boys will be boys” excuse at conferences. Then he finally gets the diagnosis and gets put on meds. My sense is that Hillerska only cares that his meds don’t make him disruptive in class. They probably don’t care about teaching him alternative study methods that actually work for him, or creating an environment where he feels empowered to use accommodations. And as folks who are knowledgeable with ADHD know, if you get behind in school like that, it takes more than meds to catch you up and help you feel empowered in class. When we see Vincent after his national exams, he’s drawing dicks in the dirt, because he can only envision himself as the class clown who fails academically. He says the academics don’t matter as a self-soothing technique. He’s become mean—mean in a “funny” way—as a way of feeling like he has a “thing” at school. And yes, Vincent will probably be “fine,” he will remain rich and go big game hunting and marry a trophy wife into adulthood or whatever. Again, he sucks! That does not change the fact that Hillerska failed him and his neurodivergences, and that he could actually have a sense of real efficacy and self-compassion for himself as a disabled person instead of just being “fine.” Daddy I don’t love him. But Daddy I would like him to feel empowered to use his extended time on tests. Daddy I would like someone to teach Vincent the pomodoro method as a study skill.

Secondary characters shouldn’t have to be wilmon shippers to be likable to fandom. It throws me out of a fic or a headcanon when secondary characters only are there to support Wilmon being the cutest soulmates ever. I don’t mean when someone like Felice offers a supportive comment to them as a couple, or occasionally thinks they’ve done something cute. I mean when characters sound exactly like shippers in fandom, with similar talking points, and when we as readers of the fic are supposed to sympathize with them because they sound exactly like us. People… don’t talk about friends and family and classmates the same way they talk about fictional blorbos.

YR does not share a universe with RWRB. This idea was more widespread in the old days of fandom, so this Contrary Opinion feels more vintage. As far as what I do think it could share a universe with, I vote for Tana French’s Dublin Murder Squad novels, for the class conflict and the incredibly complex characterization. I would also say Ashley Herring Blake’s Girl Made of Stars has a lot in common with YR in terms of how it approaches trauma and family relationships.

The intimacy scenes in season 3 (especially the big one) made me feel kind of uncomfortable, actually. Something about the changes to directing style and how they were filmed. I don’t really want to explain this one right now but maybe I will someday. So this one is also there for folks who viscerally felt that too.

[johannestevans]

Okay so similarly to last anon about topping as a trans guy/trans masc, how do you build the confidence within yourself to top someone with a penis? Cause my partner is super kind and willing to let me learn but I struggle with my own mental barrier of lime not being "manly" enough or confident enough for topping. I know a lot of it is internalized transphobia but I just wasn't sure if you had any past experiences that helped you over come that or other fears surrounding newness and such.

my directory of work / / tip jar

That sounds like a tough set of feelings that are all mixed up together!

I'm gonna unpack some gender stuff and ungendering things first, and then specifically get onto feelings of masculinity, because I think those are two separate mental processes that are (understandably) tangled up.

Before I go on, though, there's a lot of thoughts and exercises I'm going through in this essay, and I just want to say that more valuable than anything I'm about to say re: your sexual relationship with your partner, is to talk to them.

]Everything below is ontological gender thoughts and then feelings about your own confidence and masculinity, but given that the important thing here is your sexual chemistry and dynamic and relationship while the two of you fuck, their feelings and thoughts might well be super valuable here!

Even if you just say, "Hey, I asked this pretty writer fag for advice because I've been feeling these feelings and it's been tough for me, would you also like to read what he said?", that might be very helpful and valuable!

All these big feelings and big problems often feel less big when we share them with those we love and are intimate with. A problem shared is a problem halved - an insecurity shared with a trusted someone is one that can be soothed and be specifically treated with gentle gloves. If your partner doesn't know about it, they can't do that!

Anyway, on to me talking too much:

Me and my boyfriend were at a kink event yesterday that was very straight-dominated, and one thing that sort of occurred to us that we don't tend to think about, because we're not really in community with cishets and their sexual culture, is that for a lot of cishets, "pegging" - a cis man being penetrated with a strap-on, by a woman or by someone else without a cock, is in itself considered a kink.

And Lewis was like, "And that's ridiculous because it's just like... It's the woman topping. It's not special or important because it's just two people in a relationship and she's the one topping, but because they're straight, it becomes about him being humiliated and her dominating him when it's literally just normal."

And he's obviously right, like...

People often assume that in a sexual dynamic:

the top = the dominant partner = the more masculine partner

the bottom = the submissive partner = the more feminine partner

But the act of topping or bottoming (which I'm using in this context to refer to someone being the penetrating or penetrated partner, although "top" and "bottom" are often used to refer to a partner acting versus a partner acted upon, which is explored and discussed a lot in this glorious piece, Top or Bottom: How do we desire? from The New Inquiry a few years ago) is not in itself an act of domination or submission.

You mention not being confident enough to top, and link that confidence with your masculinity - do you think of topping as an inherently more confident act than bottoming? Is there a certain security you associate with topping, or a certain certainty of thought or intention, that you might not ascribe to bottoming, because you think of bottoming as passive and topping as active?

To be penetrated is not to be subjugated, nor is penetration in itself an act of subjugation, or emasculation, or even domination.

But while we still think of penetration as domination, we automatically association that act of domination with masculinity, with butchness, with being (as in the essay) the brute, with being the actor upon the acted, with being the "active" (as opposed to passive) partner, etc, because in cishetero ideals of sex, sex is something done by the man to the woman.

But you know trans girls that top, do you not? Whether that's them fucking boys or girls or other people entirely, there are trans woman who top. They are not less feminine for doing so, they're certainly not less womanly.

And you know cis men that bottom, yes? And not just twinky, effete, fairy boys who are fruity with lisps and grabbable hips and pretty eyes - there are big, hypermasculine butch men with glistening muscles and thatches of thick hair on their tits who just stepped out of a Tom of Finland poster who love to be fucked. It might well be those ethereal fairy boys who are doing the fucking.

Perhaps they like to be bent over and fucked - perhaps they like to lie back and cup the faces of their partner and coax them into fucking him, smiling sweetly, saying, "That's it, come into me, you're doing so well, yes," and treating it as an act of love and tenderness, but also, one in which he is still undeniably in control and the dominant party, but not by way of typical masculine, patriarchal performance. It can be anything it wants to be, depending on what the parties involved are intending, what they're thinking, feeling.

What the fucking signifies and what it means is in the eye of the fucker.

Is a cis woman topping her cis man boyfriend masculine? Is she actually taking away his masculinity, or is she having any for her own? Is she less or more feminine because she uses a strap-on? Is it more or less so if it's matched to the colour of her flesh?

What if it's pink?

And all of what I've just said really assumes a binary of tenders, of the transfeminine and transmasculine as extensions of the cisfeminine and cismasculine, as parallels of their gender thinking that in themselves are, you know, constructed by the dominant culture - white Western imperial culture, where that binary was constructed and where those boxes exist to oppress and to control, through a flimsy defence of "biology" and also through constructed social roles.

How much do you believe in that stuff?

Play it out as a mental exercise - make a list (you don't have to write it down, you can just think about it in your head) of the sex acts you and your current partner do together, and the sex acts you've done with other partners, and other sex acts that you've dreamed about or fantasised about, and ask yourself...

Do I think of this sex act as more masculine or feminine or is it gender-neutral, or do I think it's genderfucky in some way? If it's genderfucky, in what ways is it genderfucky?

Is it genderfucky because it particularly adheres to or particularly subverts certain gender roles in or outside of the bedroom? Is it genderfucky because it exists in some way outside of the gender binary for you, whether that makes it genderless or genderful, or abstracts it to some entirely different kinds of gender?

For example, if a cisgender man is penetrated by someone else's homegrown cock, how does that feel, genderwise? What if it's someone else's cock as a strap-on? Does the colour or consistency or size of that cock matter in the equation? What if the person penetrating him is an android, and their cock is part of their body, but it's metal or silicon or otherwise matched to their robotic body? What if the person penetrating him is someone who's had a phalloplasty, and their penis was made via surgery and a cool skin graft from their arm? What if it's a fantasy universe where the person did have a clitoris, but they drank a potion and it turned into an average or more-sized typical cock? What if the person penetrating the man is a tentacle monster or some other kind of alien creature, and they do not conform with the bipedal constraint of the human form?

What if all of that is the same, but the cisgender man being penetrated is now a transgender man? What if all this happens to a transgender woman? What if all this happens to a cisgender woman? What if all that happens to a nonbinary person?

If that nonbinary person was assigned female at birth, or if they were assigned male at birth, does that change your feelngs or your assumptions? Why? If that person has had different surgeries of their own - phalloplasties or vaginoplasties, penectomies or mastectomies, metoidioplasties, or any other kind of genital reconstructive surgeries? Does that change anything?

And that's just the act of penetration, but you can think of any other kind of act that you do during sex or as a lead up to sex - kissing, massage, biting, frotting, using a vibrator, nipple play, spanking, dressing up, etc etc. How does gender play into it? What are you gendering, and what are you not gendering? What about the language you use? Say, calling a cis man's chest his tits or boobies or breasts or his mommy milkers, but calling a cis woman's chest her pecs or her chest, or even her man boobs?

What acts do you see as adhered to specific gender identities or presentations or ideas of gender, and which acts are more flexible or unattached? Why are they different? What makes them different?

So that's part one of this, yes?

And all of that is. A lot of thinking and a lot of ruminating, and by no means am I saying you have to sit down and get it all done tonight like it's homework due tomorrow - that's more a set of thoughts and ideas that you can start unpacking as they come to you? As you think of new things, you can play with those thoughts and unpack them, and compare them and contrast them to each other, and see how much actively thinking about and deconstructing them in your head changes your feelings about them - and how much your feelings stay the same.

No matter what thoughts come up as you go through this, no matter what biases you find you have, or thoughts you find that you don't agree with once you start examining them, that is okay. There is nothing wrong or bad about how you think or feel.

None of the above is intended to lecture you, none of the above is intended to make you feel bad or insecure or like you've done wrong by having different thoughts or feelings about the different genders of things.

You have not transgressed by holding a bias, or by thinking of a sex act as masc or fem rather than neutral, or anything similar.

You have not transgressed. You have not sinned. You have thought thought bad thoughts, and subsequently are a bad person, or a bad queer, or a bad trans person.

This business of unpacking and untangling gender and sexuality from specific sex acts, of ungendering things or adjusting our lenses of gender, is hard and difficult and complicated work. Many thousands of essays have been written on this subject by other queer people, by BIPOC, by disabled people, by trans people, by intersex people, by everyone who has not been written into the constructed white imperial gender binary and its associated ideals of sex (which themselves have been escalated and fine-tuned and commercialised because of capitalism and other forms of white cultural supremacy), because it is hard and difficult to do. Because these are things we all have to unlearn, which is difficult!

A lot of these feelings, when we start unpacking them, cause us pain and make us feel discomfort, nausea, dysphoria, shame, uncertainty, fear.

They make us feel that way because by our existence, we are transgressing - because we exist in the way that we do, outside of this constructed binary (and unwilling or unable to conform to it, or at least feign / perform conformity), we disrupt it and we break its rules and we twist it and we bend it. Simply by being, we do those things.

And then when we start to look inward and really start doing that work, it can feel insurmountable and impossible and agonising, because how are we to unpick a framework which we've been sewn into our whole lives? How can we unpick our threads from a tapestry when we're sewn into it with surgical thread?

It's not our fault. It's not your fault or my fault, it is not our partners' faults, it's not even our parents' fault or our teachers' fault or any individuals' fault.

But it's a process.

So. Coming away from the broader thought exercises and zeroing in on your personal feelings about your own body, your own gender, your own role during sex.

How do you feel more manly? How do you feel more confident? How do you get past that barrier and feel "ready" to top?

If you want to top while feeling in control...

Does your partner normally top you? What positions do they usually top you in? Are there any positions they top you in that make you feel more vulnerable in some way, more controlled by them, in a way that you enjoy? Do you think that using those positions, you would then feel more like you're in control?

Would you feel more confident, for example, topping doggy style rather than in missionary?

Have you considered fingering your partner first and penetrating them not while fucking them, but during some other activity? So, blowing them while also fingering them, or using toys on them? Using a vibrator or a dildo on them while giving them a handjob? Even watching them fuck themselves on a vibrator or dildo while you give instructions - so not touching them or moving them down on it, but they only move as instructed by you?

All of those are playing with you being in control and dominating while they're also being penetrated, but is not necessarily topping them while fucking them with your own cock - you can use them to ease yourself more into the mental role or more of the confidence of what you want, rather than plunging directly in (pun intended).

There's roleplay, where you could play out a specific fantasy or wear a particular costume or outfit or something similar, that lets you feel more or at your most manly and confident, so that it's easy to really lean into a butch persona if that doesn't normally come naturally to you?

If you think you'd be more confident topping while ceding some control, have you thought about different positions for that? For example, you lying back and your partner riding you, and easing themselves down onto you?

Or you topping them while they instruct you exactly how to move, or you're being guided by them, acting more in the service top area?

Another option is double-ended dildos! I'm not sure how comfortable you are bottoming or being penetrated, but if you do enjoy such things, a double-ended dildo means neither of you are topping, but you're both bottoming, and that can be somewhere interesting to start that's focused on the sensation and experience together.

All of the above you can then use to transition into topping your partner more the way you first envisioned, or first fantasied about.

Sorry that's a lot to chew on, Anon, but I hope it helps and I wish you love and luck! Like I said to the other guy that asked about topping, so much of this is like...

Because it's new and because you haven't done it before, it can feel like it's a huge and impossible thing, and then once you do do it, a lot of that mystique and that sense of infinity (infinite things that can go right, infinite things that can go wrong, infinite emotions one way or the other) fades away a bit!

[bytedykes]

maya fey for the character ask thingy :3

Sexuality Headcanon: WOMEN!!!!!! maya likes women for SURE i dont have like, a specific label for her but she is into women

Gender Headcanon: honestly i dont really think abt it that much so i guess cis woman but i have seen some really good transfem maya stuff before!!! im not a transfem maya truther but i believe in their beliefs <3

A ship I have with said character: basic ass answer is franmaya... i do actually like them together, i think it could be a rlly fun dynamic to explore. also maya/regina was cute in case 2.3 (one of the only things i liked about it rip) i've seen some good maya/blackquill stuff before also but its not really something i ship just an interesting dynamic. in general though i dont really devote much time to shipping maya w anyone i think her canon platonic/familial relationships are already very interesting

A BROTP I have with said character: PHOENIX!!! nick and maya 4EVER they are so good. !!!!! i loveee their dynamic, they work so well together and really bounce off each other well. i also like the more serious aspect of how mia's death connected them and how they both share this grief even in very different ways. i like how even if mia hadn't died they still would've probably been friends when she introduced them :) anyway phoenix and maya are very fond of each other and i think it's really sweet - bridge to turnabout is one of my favorite cases in part bc of the very present bond between them and how much phoenix cares about maya (same w the engarde case, but that one is almost better in this regard bc of how maya's care for phoenix is also heavily present). also big fan of the silly part of their dynamic where maya steals his wallet and hits him over the head with evidence <3

another really interesting relationship that's less canonically present is maya & godot. what we see of them in bridge to turn about is soooo compelling, and i would have loved to see more of them. i think in a world where godot eventually gets out of prison he and maya could work to have some kind of relationship to both their benefit. <- its interesting how mia and mia's death is kind of a driving force for maya's connections to people, maya & mia is also deeply interesting and compelling but i could write an essay about them so i will just say that i love them a lot as well lol

A NOTP I have with said character: phoenix... dislike the age gap + i just think they're better as a platonic relationship lol. maya/phoenix is like the one aa tag i actually have filtered kjaskd

A random headcanon: if u assume that in aaverse lawyers are famous and there is law twitter fan spaces . maya 100% has an account where she posts "lawyer spotting" pics of phoenix (and also edgeworth). neither of them know abt it . maya is lawtwt famous

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE HERRRR she's the og aa weirdgirl !!! maya is very dear to me, she's definitely one of my favorite characters and i love seeing her. currently my friend and i are playing aa4 and i miss her so bad :'( maya in general is a very endearing character, and she + her family is a big driving force in the trilogy which i find very compelling. she's also just cool! i love it when teenage girls have weird superpowers! i think maya is a very caring character who is silly but has really impactful serious aspects to her which are so awesome to see <3 anyway i did draw maya every day for months last year so like yeah u could say i like her a normal amount lol

TY FOR THE ASK CHEREN <3 mayaaaaa maya fey i love her sooo much. girl ever<3

[sapphic-agent]

Momo rewrite anon here!

I've been toying around with the idea of trans girl Izuku for the rewrite, and I'm really liking. I was thinking of her preferred name being Izumi. Izumi means "spring" or fountain", I think it is still in align with her character. Izumi is someone who grew up not knowing a lot about queer stuff, and kept all of their thoughts and feelings about their identities to themselves. They get to see and explore with their classmates, who are more openly queer. Which causes her to question her own identity, and knowing her, does extreme research. Like holy Hell, you can change your gender?? Just like that?? She's very conflicted about the whole thing and it takes awhile for her to be comfortable, and open about it. One of Izumi's flaws is that she is terrible at opening about her feelings. Once she does, the girls are excited to have another girl in class. Since UA can allow things like hair dye and piercings, I'm sure it'll be fine to get Izumi a girls uniform. Izumi still does get... assholes who are transphobic and stuck in their old ways. However, due to her getting more confident she stands up to them. I think it would be really cute if she grew out her hair, puts it in a high ponytail, and ties a yellow bow around it. Bc obviously to resemble All Might. Also a tie in with Nana for the ponytail, as well. Ik Horikoshi's trans rep is just... could be a lot better, let's put it that way. Also we get a protag that still has the next generation tie into it. The next generation being more open minded, and let go of harmful ideologies, and accepting of people. Izumi sheds her old skin and embraces who she is, is like peak trans to me. Again, this is just something I'm playing around with as an idea. Plus sapphic Izuocha (And if anyone is wondering, I am a trans male!)

I can definitely get behind MTF Izuku! I've played around with fem (trans and cis) Izuku in my head a lot. It goes well with Izuku as a character and could fit very nicely. I definitely like it a whole lot more than trans Bakugou because it feels like a tactic to make Bakugou more sympathetic, as Bakugou fans tend to do.

And like, it's fine. I don't care that people hc Bakugou as trans. It just doesn't do anything to endear me towards him. Whereas with Izuku (or Todoroki or literally anyone else), it would just add a lot of meaning to the character.

Also, as my user suggests, I'm weak for sapphic ships. So sapphic IzuOcha is a win for me

[hesitantvampirealien]

now i'm actually venting (/upset, very upset even)

it's so agonizing to see people i really like saying that when you transition, you always have to specifically go to a binary gender and stick to cishet standards of beauty and that you can't play around with gender and you have to look palatable to cis people to not "drag down the movement" and that you basically have to earn other people's respect. Overall a very cis-centered view on transitions, as if we needed cis people, as if we needed them to approve our existence and approve our gender. I don't fucking need a cis person to validate me, i don't want a cis person to validate me, i want them to go fuck themselves.

It fucking wrecks me so much when i hear this coming from someone that i enjoy watching, someone who has good takes on most things but then when it comes to that, they feel entitled to pushing this garbage that almost got me killed, as well as once even implying that you should receive a "permission" to transition by a doctor as if a doctor knew better about your gender than yourself. I'm fucking sorry but there were trans people in the psych ward i was in and they knew VERY well who they were and what they were, and if they depended on a medical permission to transition they would've been denied because they would be dismissed for being mentally unstable. And what about me? i'm non binary. I don't get permission too because it's "not a transitionable gender". I usually don't care when people talk shit, i tend to just ignore and never watch them again, but this is someone that i have watched for so long, since the time they were small and poor and watched them grow and succeed, and it HURTS. It fucking hurts because it genuinely feels like someone stepping on my face and using me and everyone else like me as a stair. This hurts, specially because my friend with benefits is a girl who can't transition yet because of her family and she has literally no option other than to pretend to be a guy when she knows she's not a guy and she doesn't need a doctor to tell her that. I just want to hug her right now because i feel like this is hurting her indirectly by reinforcing that real trans people should only be the ones who are binary, who can transition and look like cishet normie people (i use "normie" to refer to people who aren't in any alt subculture, it's the term that i was taught but i don't know if it's still used)

like, obviously if you're not gonna conform to a cishet standard you'll go through a lot more of shit in your life, but to make it seem like we have to conform to cis people's unwritten rules and treat us like we're some sort of weird "deviation" and we need medical supervision to not go "too far" and still stay in a cishet pattern to deserve basic human respect is disgusting. I am who i am, my friend with benefits is who she is, and everyone else like us are who they are, and none of us need you to disrespect us like this by erasing everyone else who happens to not be a binary middle class person with no personality and no desire to explore themselves further in order to appeal to a group of people that, regardless if i dressed up in a suit and let my beard grow fully and looked like a cishet man or if i dressed up the same way i always do and did the makeup i always do, would still murder me and everyone else. But okay then. I'm glad to have been useful for you as a stair. (/s for last bit)

you'll suffer more if you're non conforming like me, but that's not your fault, alright? and whoever says all of that shit i mentioned is wrong. I really wish i could help people grow thicker skin so they can stay happy and healthy while also recognizing that bad things happening to them just because of who they are is not right and it's not their fault, it really breaks my heart when my friend expressed fear of transitioning because she knew it would make her life hard, and unfortunately it really will, i can't lie to her, but if she keeps pretending to be someone she's not it'll be so much harder and so much more painful. I really wanna just... hug her right now.

[nicosraf]

Hi! I saw your tweet about reading Angels Before Man for the Trans Rights Readathon (which I will absolutely do, I'm so excited 😍) and I wanted to ask if any of the characters in the book are trans too? 🏳️‍⚧️

Hello! I was going to answer jokingly/cryptically by saying, "All of them," but I'm having a lot of feelings because of what's going on for trans rights in the U.S. so I'm going to be serious aha. Big warning for moderate spoilers though. Sorry!

First, I'm kind of surprised that people have read the angels in ABM to be cis men. They're not. None of them. I kept it purposefully subtle because it's book 1 and gender is a human concept that will be introduced later, along with the angels' struggle to see themselves in a binary that will be imposed onto them. The trilogy, at its core, is about gender. It's all just a convoluted story about enfleshment as gender. Lucifer and Uriel's discomfort with their bodies is about dysphoria.

Also, I didn't actually think I was subtle. Lucifer says "cock and cunt" twice, and the very lyrical language regarding sex in the book (ex. ‘Here, you’re like the pistil of a flower.’ Fingers searching, exploring — ‘petals, here.’) is because angels are, in simpler terms, intersex. Though they don't have a concept of gender or even sex in ABM, so they wouldn't use that term or understand themselves to be anything other than, well, angels. The title is actually a silly little nod to this: "Angels Before Man": angels before male, angels before masculine-gender.

Does this mean all angels are genderless, though, and if they better understood pronouns, would they all use "they"? Nope. This will happen later, but some angels will try and place themselves on the binary of human-gender and others will think of themselves as trans in a more familiar way. That said, they will all have gender issues, hence why I like to say they're all trans.

And while I'm at it, God is also not a cis man. Relevant lines in ABM: "My womb is built from will," and "She, who was Father."

Basically, there's a lot of gender fuckery going on and it's going to get way more blatant once humanness gets introduced.

And just in case anyone's curious, I'm not pulling this out of nowhere. One interpretation for the dual-narrative of creation in Genesis is that Adam was originally made intersex in the image of God – God and the angels, if you interpret the "our" to be God and the angels (which I have):

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image..." (Genesis 1:26)

So God created mankind in his own image,     in the image of God he created them;     male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Oh, also, I'm trans. I feel like I haven't mentioned that on here sksksjkfdl but yes I hope this gives you a good answer? Angels Before Man is about gender, and the following books are also about gender. It's ridiculously gay and trans, and it's going to get even more so.

I hope you enjoy reading! But please consider donating to trans organizations and checking in on your trans friends too. Things are rough.

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[rollercoasterwords]

i agree about gretta gerwigs work, i feel like there are some pieces of femininity and what its like to grow up as a girl that she nails every time, like at least for me personally her portrayals of grieving past versions of yourself and your life always resonate (but maybe thats because thats a pretty universal experience? im not sure), and her interfamilial relationships feel very tangible to me,

but yeah when it comes to her resolutions and her looking forward moments i feel like i dont really follow where her brain goes, it sometimes feels like she just ends up back where she started. and she doesnt play with gender and sexuality much, which is a shame because i feel like she could do it well?? idk maybe its fear, maybe shes cis and straight and those themes just dont resonate with her idk.

i also feel like shes almost choses stories where she wouldnt be forced to confront those topics? like little women has always had the same conclusion, she certainly did add her own artistry to the story but its not like she would have been expected to explore queer experiences there. and the same is true for barbie, barbie isnt exactly known for being a space that plays much with gender, and i highly doubt mattel would have approved a story that included too much queerness bc theyre trying to tell toys to conservative moms right? idk sorry this got long, your comments on gerwig just got me thinking

yeahhhhh exactly like. i am not a huge gerwig fan (not that i dislike her or anything; i'm just pretty neutral towards her as a director) + i only watched ladybird back when it first came out + barbie now. have never seen little women but based on what i know of the book yeah i imagine it's not like a movie where you'd expect lesbians lol nor was i expecting any particularly insightful exploration of queerness from barbie (although i do think it's nice that many people have been able to find meaningful aroace readings of the film)--and like i don't think it's gerwig's responsibility to explore such themes if they are not things she relates to or has an interest in exploring!

i feel like this is moreso just a problem with reception when any certain artist or work of art gets venerated as like....the pinnacle of representation for 'womanhood' or 'girlhood,' which is a category much of gerwig's critical reception seems to fall into. bc there is no single monolithic experience of 'womanhood,' the cultural consensus about what representations set the standard for such experiences always tend to privilege certain experiences (white, straight, cis, etc), oftentimes at the expense of erasing others. and this has been a particular aspect of some of the barbie praise that's grated on me; i've seen a lot of people talk about how it so perfectly encapsulates 'the female experience' and as a gnc lesbian i'm just like. alright then lol. think the treatment of queerness by the film as a whole was also just like....odd. generally speaking. honestly still parsing thru my thoughts on it but sometimes the framing of the movie made it a little difficult to tell whether i was being laughed at or laughed with tbh