#every day my body is getting stronger and my mental health has improved | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ausetkmt · 1 year

Text

We live in a world that doesn't have any issue with leaving people in the dust. We work fast, drive fast, eat fast, and move fast, all so we can get to the next item on our agenda (which, spoiler alert, we also complete as quickly as we can). Instead of rushing your way through life, consider making a move toward slow living.

Slow living is all about taking your time so that you can actually enjoy the beautiful things and experiences around you as you go. Who wants to wake up one morning at 85 years old and the only memories you have are the to-do items you checked off your list anyway?

It's all about being intentional with the choices that you make, and spending your time more meaningfully. As someone who lives in one of the most fast-paced cities in the world, I understand if you're feeling hesitant. But even if you aren't ready to overhaul your life, there are a few practices from the slow life movement you can add to your day-to-day to fight burnout. It can be as small as following accounts like Slow Stories that encourage you to live intentionally, or buying a normal alarm clock so your phone is in another room overnight.

Recent trends like quiet quitting or how Marie Kondo isn't tidying anymore reveal how many people have realized that this crazy pace is really just running us into the ground. You're not a robot, so you shouldn't expect your body to go at a superhuman speed! It's vital to set up boundaries so that you are actually able to recharge. We talked to Danielle LaPorte, author of How To Be Loving and creator of the Heart Centered Membership, and Dr. Beth Pausic, Director of Behavioral Health at Hims & Hers, about different ways we can implement intentionality into our daily lives, and how it can benefit our minds and our bodies.

As we get older and busier, it can be tempting to speed up your life to make room for absolutely everything that comes your way. In reality, we should be doing the opposite. "Most of our personal growth is a lesson in learning to slow down. In our productivity-obsessed societies, slowing down is a revolution," says LaPorte.

"Our psyche and bodies are aching for stillness. But the very concept of slowing down can make us panicky," she continues. "The absence of distractions can make us feel vulnerable, exposed to the whims of our emotions (I'm steady! I'm falling apart! I want the city vibe! I want a 'do not disturb' sign for my entire life!)."

Even though forcing yourself to rest can leave you feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions at the beginning, it's actually beneficial for your mind to process everything that has happened over the day. It'll get easier as you get the hang of it, and will help regulate your emotions and improve your focus.

"Feeling constantly rushed will lead to increased stress," says Pausic. "There are numerous impacts that stress can have on our health, both physical and mental. It isn’t sustainable for our mind and body to remain in this state for long periods of time and you will notice the impact." Slowing down and reducing your stress can improve your sleep, decrease anxiety and irritability, and even give you a stronger immune system and improved digestion.

It's fun to discuss the benefits of stillness, but actually putting the lifestyle into practice is easier said than done. After all, it's hard to slow down when you're used to going 100 miles per hour! We've definitely come off a busy week, or even a busy afternoon, and barely been able to sit still.

"Slowing down is about sequencing. It’s not about grinding to a halt or dropping out of your career ambitions (though I highly recommend sabbaticals and radical change.) It’s about when you create stillness," says LaPorte. Make room for these moments in your everyday, like always taking a 10:30 am break for coffee, or implementing a hard stop at the same time every day of your work week.

LaPorte also recommends what she calls a 'stillness sandwich.' "It’s like this: be still in the beginning, rock ’n’ roll in the middle, and be still at the end," she says. At the beginning of anything you do (whether it's the day or a relationship), give yourself time to be still instead of jumping right into your agenda. Since your brain is a blank slate in the morning, LaPorte says it's best to not check your phone, but instead take part in rituals like breath work or gratitude journaling.

"Then, toward the end (of the day, of the project,.. or of a relationship), wrap with active stillness. Think about what you learned that day, where you felt expanded, where you felt contracted. Be still," she says.

Use your cozy night routine to let your mind wander or to practice box breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, and hold for four counts each). Being present, intentional, and grateful can help you focus on what you have instead of always working toward the next big thing. How much of your life right now did you work, pray, or wish for? Were you aware of that fact when you received it, or did you immediately shift to wanting something new?

Letting your brain and soul move slowly can also help you be more aware of the people around you so that you can be a better friend or family member to them. Let's get into some specific areas in which you can practice slow living (plus some book recs from the B+C team):

Work

It might seem counterintuitive, but slowing down can actually improve your workflow. Think of it like charging your phone. If you don't let your phone get all the way to 100%, it will die a lot faster, so giving your brain time to rest will mean that it will work better tomorrow.

"Most times, feeling overwhelmed is a combination of the reality of a hefty workload coupled with time management," says Pausic. "Be mindful about how you are spending your time at work. Be aware of how you are adding to your own stress...Understand that every priority is not a priority. Take some time to figure out what is really important to accomplish first."

Know what your limits are and plan your days and your weeks with those boundaries in mind. You have to protect your time ahead of time so that you don't end up regretting all your commitments retroactively. As far as work itself goes, a clearer focus will help you get your checklist done better and faster.

How Can I Try This?

Set aside time dedicated to only checking emails, take a full lunch break, or give yourself enough time to relax before a meeting. "Plan ahead if you are meeting someone or have an appointment so that you arrive a bit early," Pausic says. "Enjoy not feeling rushed and stressed from being late."

Mornings

Image via Sarah Outeiro/Pexels

Not everyone is a morning person, but giving yourself enough time to actually enjoy your mornings before launching into work will make your day more enjoyable.

"The idea behind an earlier wake up time is so that you don’t feel rushed," says Pausic. "You don’t want to use that time to add in more to do’s. To preserve that extra time as yours, try and prepare what you can the day or evening before. For example, have your outfit picked out or have your bag ready by the door. Use your morning time for self-care, setting your intentions for the day or simply doing nothing."

'Nothing' definitely includes staying off your phone as long as possible. "The mind is very impressionable when we first wake up," says LaPorte. "It's a blank slate, which is why it's best to not check your phone first thing — you are literally programming your brain to fire fire fire on social media's high speed dopamine race." No thanks.

How Can I Try This?

Make a full breakfast and enjoy it sans Netflix, go on a nice walk, or stretch before sitting down at your desk. Wait until you start work to check your phone, or buy a regular alarm clock so that you can keep your phone in the next room all night long.

Time Off

We've all come off a vacation feeling just as tired as we were at the beginning...right? It can feel like we're programmed to rest on vacay, but it is definitely another time where you really have to protect your boundaries and figure out what rest looks like for you.

According to Pausic, the key is an intentional schedule. "Look at ways to block times for either minimal or relaxing activity. Time permitting, set aside the last day of vacation to do the least amount of running around. Having a day to decompress before you return can help with the fatigue of an otherwise busy holiday."

The common thread between every ideal vacation is making sure you don't overbook yourself, and giving yourself permission to do nothing if that's what you need. Somewhere along the lines we decided that doing nothing was harmful instead of beneficial, and that's just not the case, especially when you're overworked.

How Can I Try This?

The most important thing that you can do is tailor your vacation based on what you know you need. If you are short on sleep and need a physically restful vacation, sleep in everyday. If your brain needs a break, spend all day walking around town or going to an art museum, and if you need to rest your hands, engage your mind with a personal growth book or some creative writing prompts.

Self-Care

Image via Brock Wegner/Unsplash

A variety of the elements that make up slow living can also be found in self-care, which means that you can engage in both at the same time! Mindfulness, self-awareness, and relaxation are all key ingredients to our favorite kinds of self-care days. "Be aware of small things throughout the day," Pausic says. "What is your first taste of morning coffee like? Notice the light during the winter afternoon or other seasonal changes."

Giving your brain the space it needs to create original thoughts and work through emotions can help you zero in on the areas of your life that need a little TLC.

"The first rule of self-care is to actually do something that is self-care!" says Pausic. Scrolling through Instagram or filling your free time with to-dos won't make you feel anymore rested.

"Self-care activities should be something relatively healthy that you enjoy and makes you feel good," she continues. "Only you can define that for yourself. If you want to set up a regular practice for self-care, then you have to be mindful about setting time aside to do those things. Don’t think of it as an indulgence, but as something to be incorporated into your routine that will benefit your well-being and make it easier to deal with things when they do get overwhelming."

How Can I Try This?

Spend time on an activity that allows you to set the pace but also engages your mind and your hands, like crafting the perfect iced coffee or doing a puzzle.

From Your Site Articles

19 Instant Pot Recipes for When You’re Even Too Busy for a Slow Cooker ›

Make This Slow-Cooker Beef Stroganoff With Just 4 Ingredients ›

14 Slow Cooker Stew Recipes to Cook Up for Dinner Tonight ›

These Are the 10 Things the World’s Longest-Living People Do ›

18 Easy Vegetarian Crock-Pot Recipes For You To Try At Home ›

Slow-Cooker Keto Chicken Will Heat Up Your Summer Nights ›

Erin Loechner Tells Us Why Living Slow Is the New American Dream ›

Chloe Williams

B+C Editorial Assistant, Swiftie | Chloe is originally from the Outer Banks (yes, like the Netflix show!). When she isn't writing or updating her blog Pastels and Pop Culture, Chloe enjoys watching Marvel movies or texting her sister about the latest celebrity news. Say hi at @thechloewilliams on Insta and @popculturechlo on Twitter!

#Here's Why Slow Living Is Better For Your Mind And Your Body #bodyworks #how your body works #take care of you

0 notes

wool-f · 1 year

Photo

Wellness: Through & Through | Part Two: Pilates

If you subscribe to me, you’d know I posted a video on my channel not very long ago about my experience trying pilates for two months. It’s now been four months, and I can fully say that I am a member of the pilates cult that seems to be taking girl social media by storm.

I remember the first time I really began to see the rise in popularity of reformer, and it was just after an article where Lori Harvey said she loved pilates. After that, pilates was everywhere, and I really mean everywhere.

On TikTok, Instagram, Facebook even, my colleagues in the office were talking about how they were thinking of trying it, and my friends were signing up to expensive studios around Melbourne to get into the newest fad of fitness.

I say fad very loosely, because once I began classes at my local studio, I realised this trend was very quickly going to become a habit for me.

I’ll be honest, I was doubtful about whether pilates would do anything crazy to my body, and boy was I surprised! I had heard one of my friends talk about it previously but didn’t really think anything of it, until suddenly every second girl and their mother were achieving insane results from five 45 minute workouts a week.

I was flawed. I wish I’d listened to my friend sooner (take this as a lesson well learnt from me). So my friend and I decided to join a studio, and we got a pretty good starter deal. Pilates is quite expensive, it’s definitely not an affordable fitness method if you’re wanting to go to an actual studio, I will say that much.

Four months down the track, I can genuinely say I’ve never stuck to any fitness regime the way I have stuck to pilates, and I have never felt better. In the first two months of going to pilates consistently, I dropped FOUR KILOGRAMS without trying.

A disclaimer to this is that I never started this wellness adventure to lose weight - I don’t hate my body or myself, and I always wanted the focus to remain on how I feel about myself and my mental wellbeing, and what ways my physical health could assist with improving those aspects of my life. That being said, I can’t ignore the obvious difference in my body since beginning pilates.

Outside that, and now that I am well into my pilates obsession, I have a few notes on the difference it has made on my body.

I feel stronger in all ways, and I’m sleeping way better. I have gotten myself into the routine of getting up early to go to the studio and take a class before my work day begins and I notice that I have so much more mental clarity and motivation throughout my day. If I don’t get up and exercise before beginning my workday I often feel lethargic and foggy in my mind. I love the feeling of finishing a class and coming out of the heated room into the fresh air - my cheeks flushed and lungs breathing in the crisp smells of the early morning, and the satisfaction I feel when I finish a really tough class. I have increased my weight usage from 2kgs being my difficult weight to 4kg. I’m just happier as a person, obviously because any exercise creates endorphins.

If you’ve been looking for a sign to try out pilates, let it be this - it is honestly the best investment I’ve ever made in my health and fitness, and it’s an inclusive environment. It’s not necessarily price effective if you want to go to a studio, but there are so many free videos on YouTube you can use too - please try it if you’re even thinking about it.

If you are joining me on this group science experiment, investigating what wellness truly means and how I am achieving it, both physically and mentally, welcome! Comment below any suggestions or trends you are seeing to do with wellness that you’re too afraid to try yourself - I will try them. Also let me know if you tried pilates because of this post or my video! I’d love to hear your feedback :)

If you want to follow along with this experiment with me on a daily basis, please follow my Instagram and TikTok accounts, I am much more active on there and will have little updates throughout the weeks that I am posting the videos.

Leave any comments down below or in my questions box, and we can chat!

Until next week, all my love,

G xx

14 notes · View notes

poohstuffs · 2 years

Text

Health And Fitness

“Happiness begins with good health”

Health and fitness are important aspects of one's life. It refers to maintaining a lifestyle without any diseases. With a disciplined routine an individual can live a healthy life. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away".

Staying healthy is necessary to cope up with the fast-moving world. To carry out their responsibilities effectively and to grow every day, one has to be healthy and fit. Being sick brings a lot of restrictions on one's life.

Basic ways to stay healthy are -:

a. Maintaining a balanced diet.

b. Inculcating healthy habits like yoga, swimming, cycling and GYM.

c. Reduction in screen time.

d .Relaxing and reducing stress.

e. Balancing work and life.

f. Development of hobbies like reading books and gardening. These practices are therapeutic.

g. Getting proper sleep.

4. A healthy and Physical fitness to a person gives them the confidence to lead a life and it also makes them smart in many ways.

5. In Yoga, meditation plays an important role in keeping the mind healthy as when we do deep inhalation, the amount of oxygen taken increases which is supplied to the brain and other parts of the body and the body works more precisely.

A healthy diet plan is important to support and strengthen your immune system. Nutrients Yeast such as proteins, vitamins, carbohydrates, fibers, fats, minerals, and water must be an essential part of your life to maintain a healthy immune system and strengthen your body. Consistent eating healthy food may provide you a healthy body. Follow these healthy eating tips:

Eat local produce Increase your intake of locally available and seasonal fruits, vegetables, and whole grains near your region and reduce your intake of processed foods.

Explore traditional foods you don’t have to find ingredients to eat healthy. You can choose simple but nutritious Indian grains that include jowar, bajra, ragi, etc. as a part of your daily diet.

Eat a variety of food You must include a mix of wholegrains like wheat, maize and rice, legumes like lentils and beans, and plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables in your diet. Choose unprocessed foods as much as possible.

Limit your salt intake You can Limit your salt intake atleast 5 grams a day.

Eat moderate healthy fats in moderation Replace butter with healthier fats like olive, soy, sunflower or corn oil when cooking. Avoid baked and fried foods that contain fats

Limit sugar intake Limit intake of sweets and sugary drinks such as fizzy drinks, fruit juices, energy and sports drinks, flavored milk drinks. You use, honey, jaggery, dates, and raisins to sweeten you desserts instead of refined sugar.

. Stay hydrated Drinking enough water can help to improve your body weight loss and help to Flushes out Toxins, improve skin color and maintain regularity.

7. GYM-:

Gym plays an important role in our life as it is very attractive and helpful process for those who want to weight loss and weight gaining in less time. In gym you will get lot of good facilities like cardio, strength training, functional training, free weight, pro-shop, group fitness shop, steam, nutrionist.

I have had an overall excellent experience in SK-27Gym.as when I started I was feeling very nervous that how can I reduce my weight and how I will boost my confidence which I was linking behind. I really enjoyed the fitness days that, not only helped me stay physically but mentally stronger. Sk-27 GYM provides a lot of good facilities to people like Cardio Training, Weight Lifting Bar, functional training, pro-shop, a group fitness studio (Zumba), steam, Nutritionist & Physiotherapy, etc.

As past 2 years this topic is in trend due to Covid-19 all are look for better immunity

The COVID-19 pandemic has brought this world to a Pause. The impact of this pandemic is massive, and the only strategy to stop the rapid spread of the disease is to follow social distancing. They imposed lockdown, resulting in the closure of business activities, public places, Gyms and activity centers, and overall social life, has hampered many aspects of the lives of people including routine fitness activities of many people, which has resulted in various psychological issues and serious fitness and health concerns. I aimed at understanding the unique experiences of fitness during the period of lockdown due to COVID-19. This blog also help to explore the ways in which you can do exercises and fitness activities at home which help them to deal with psychological issues and physical health consequences.

However, there was a gradual increase in positive self-perception and motivation to overcome their dependence on gym and fitness equipment and to continue n fitness exercises at home. Participants also tended to play music as a tool while working out. The regular fitness workout at home during the lockdown greatly helped them to overcome psychological issues and fitness concern

Thank you -:

At last I will finish with a great slogan

“The pain you suffer today is the sign of tomorrow’s victory”.

#cardio training #weight lifting bar #Nutriost and physiotherapy #physical fitness #Nutrients Yeast

0 notes

brooksasob765 · 2 years

Text

7 Things About advertise motorbike for free You'll Kick Yourself for Not Knowing

The time after their really 1st prolonged journey, lots of motorcyclists mention the specific same aches and additionally discomforts-- muscular tissues in our backs are actually regularly on top of the list.

Wearing a helmet for a couple of hours a day would certainly strengthen your back no matter, toss windblast right in to the formula as properly as you've obtained an actual back exercise.

For others with back difficulties or even back concerns, it's almost such as treatment to the back as well as back.

Stronger Knees as well as Upper Legs Riding a bike improves your leg strength through enhancing leg muscles. These muscular tissue mass keep the bones of the knee in spot. This supports in quiting any type of knee issues.

Additionally, you can easily stop thigh issues very. Many of the muscular tissue mass made use of to hold the knee bones ready stay in the upper lower legs. It appears that if you ride a motorbike without straining your knees in addition to upper legs, afterwards you can accomplish better knee as well as upper leg endurance.

While an outstanding body system is constantly one thing to value, an energised in addition to healthy human brain is important.

When our experts steer an automotive, our team residing in a less active means. Getting through a motorbike needs even more work, virtually and also psychologically, which triggers the prefrontal regions of the mind. Inlay conditions, this indicates using preserves your thoughts working at its existing prime as well as likewise aids create higher levels of focus.

Improve Your Mental Health

Ever found a bicycle rider consult with a psychoanalyst? Leave this fact apart for the instant. Why are actually folks referred to a mental health expert initially? Answer: To address their mental worries, which are actually mainly associated to stress. Right now, inquire a basic worry to a biker. "What is your sell my motorbike tension relief approach?" The action would be bike riding.

Your mindset boosts in addition to your worry reduces as you journey down lovely roads. Every twist of the arm discharges adrenaline which, subsequently, releases endorphins. These 'really experience superb' hormonal agents improve our condition of mind, increase fulfillment along with decrease soreness.

Improve Your Mental Health

So, endorphins provide us that fascinating sensation however,, after a trip, there is actually also that emotion of alleviation, like a value has actually been increased.

This appears like mindfulness meditation: Body system spot, velocity, roadway ranking-- on a motorbike you're frequently evaluating along with changing relying on the situation. This connects our team right into the here and now moment along with indicates our minds possess no space for stress and anxiety over cash money, job, or any type of other day-to-day problems.

You're thinking about a healthy as well as thrilled mind when you incorporate your increased sunlight straight visibility as well as all of the added Vitamin D you'll soak up. As notable as the psychological perks of motorcycle riding are, they are actually substantially bodily as well. Discover more about Motorcycle Riding PositionsCalorie Burning

Always remember the pleasurable sweat that covers your face while riding a motorcycle? Bike using assistances your metabolism by improving the hormone insulin sensitiveness. This simple fact results in fat burning. It takes a lot of effort to ride a motorcycle. Certainly not simply simply using, nonetheless also when you are actually preparing to use a motorbike, you get rid of calories.

When you are actually using a motorcycle, you face a headwind, what will you do? Seek to manage the balance of the motorbike as well as likewise deal with the headwind. What will this method need? Effort. What will be the result? Burning calories. Currently you comprehend merely how motorbike riding may aid you melt calories.

1 note · View note

marieshyperf1xations · 2 years

Text

💭 Who is "that girl"? 💕

There are no set rules to what "that girl"'s life includes and you'd probably get the same amount of different definitions as people you asked. So this post doesn't not claim to be the one "right" definition, it's just my personal interpretation what this lifestyle entails.

1. Working out

That girl works out regularly, but not (or at least not primarily) for aesthetic purposes but rather for her mental health, to feel confident, get stronger, clear her head etc. She either goes to the gym or does workouts at home and/or goes running/swimming etc.

2. Living a generally active life

That girl's lifestyle is defined by being active and fit. She goes on walks, exercises, does yoga, prefers biking and walking over taking her car and otherwise keeps her body moving.

3. Eating a healthy diet

Another way in which that girl looks after her body is by watching her diet and eating healthy. She focuses on whole foods and prefers home cooked meals over fast food. All the while she's still balancing her diet and listening to what her body wants. She knows that only eating healthy is hardly realistic and therefore aims for a 80/20 diet.

4. Taking care of your physical health

That girl knows to take care of her body. She goes to all her check-up appointments and sees her doctor when she's concerned about a health issue. She listens to her body and what it needs, stays hydrated and over all stays on top of her physical health.

5. Skincare

That girl has a skincare routine which she does regularly. Every morning and night she takes care of her skin according to her skin type. In regular intervals she treats herself to a face mask, massages and facials. She always wears sunscreen, despite the season and weather and doesn't go to bed with her makeup still on.

6. Self care (Mind, body, soul concept)

That girl practices daily self care. She does something for her mind, her body and her soul every day. This may include meditation, yoga, spa days, journaling or other things of a similar nature.

7. Journaling

That girl has a journal in which she writes every day. Both a daily journaling routine and prompted journaling sessions are part of her day to day life. To her, journaling isn't a chore but rather something she actually enjoys and benefits from.

8. Having routines

For the mornings, evenings and weekends that girl has routines and habits to improve her focus, energy, sleep quality etc.. These routines she adapts to what she needs and what works best for her.

9. Having a positive mindset

That girl always thinks positively. She's kind to others as well as herself and always sees the best in everyone. She focuses on herself while simultaneously being kind to the people around her. She forgives herself for mistakes she makes and sees them as an opportunity to do better.

10. Being and staying curious

That girl is educated, open-minded and looking to learn as much as she can. This includes but is not limited to languages, literature, science, history, finance, poetry, and art.

11. Mindset

Getting back to the topic of mindset and attitude, that girl is hard working and willing to wait for the results she desires. A key to this is a concept called delayed gratification, which at its core means accepting an uncomfortable situation in favour of a bigger reward later on (i.e. working out in order to feel good afterwards, studying long hours in order to gain knowledge etc.). Furthermore she had an abundance mindset rather than being jealous and fearful. Examples of this are replacing "They got those results i desire sooner than me, now I will never be able to achieve them" with "If they did it, so will I when it is my time for it" etc.

12. Productivity

That girl knows to avoid procrastination. She plans her studying and working sessions and completes them without distractions. She writes her notes in a way that makes sense for her and utilises study and planning methods in an effective manner.

13. Tidyness and planning

That girl's space is always tidy and neat. She takes time to clean up every day and thereby never has a big mess. Her closet, drawers etc. are sorted in an effective way and are regularly declutteded. Furthermore she plans her days, weeks and months ahead and always knows what's coming up and how she needs to prepare for it.

14. Balance (!!!)

Finally, that girl knows the key to everything in life is balance. Productivity needs rest, giving in to the occasional cravings is more than okay, working out needs recovery and so forth.

So this was my interpretation of what kind of person "that girl" is. Hopefully you could take away something from this post.

Have fun on your journey!

Love, M

#glow up threads #that girl #that girl aesthetic #that girl journey #becoming that girl #self care #mindset #abundance #productivity #delayed gratification

229 notes · View notes

lenathogwarts · 3 years

Text

Dark Days (Ransom Drysdale x Reader)

WARNINGS: description of depression and its symptoms, mentioning of suicidal thoughts, ANGST! - angsty story with a message behind it (gets fluffy towards the end)

This One-Shot has a major trigger warning! If you suffer(ed) from depression and/or have suicidal thoughts and know, that reading about these topics triggers you, don’t interact with the story! I’m serious! Don’t!

This story is purely meant as an outlet and doesn’t intend to glorify any of the things mentioned above. I would never want to pull anyone down! So – if this is not your cup of tea, just skip this one 😊 Remember to take care of yourself (especially with everything that is going on right now!) ♥ If you ever feel lonely or just need/want someone to talk to, feel free to message me!

Word Count: 780

(Barely edited, all mistakes are my own, hope you enjoy reading anyways! ♥)

You loved the happy days. Laughing, smiling, drinking in the beauty of the world. On these days, everything was easy. No insecurities or thoughts that wore you down. Everything was just as it should be.

But there were also the darker days.

On which you didn’t feel optimistic.

On which it was difficult to laugh.

On which the world started being just a little less colourful than usual.

In the beginning, you hadn’t worried about these days all too much. They tended to go just as fast as they came. And everyone had bad days. No one could be happy all the time.

Right?

Gradually, the bad days became worse. At first, you didn’t even notice that it was happening, but slowly your mind started going … places. Your thoughts started to scare you. You knew they were unhealthy. You knew they weren’t true.

Right?

But just before you could lose control, you pulled yourself back from the edge.

No, you weren’t worthless.

No, you weren’t unworthy of being loved.

No, it wouldn’t be easier for everyone if you weren’t here.

As soon as you had managed to stir yourself away from that cliff, the happy days followed.

Life was good again.

And you tried your best to ignore the threatening dark shadows looming right at the edge of your little world.

Ever since the world had gone to shit, the dark days had become more frequent. Over the last year, every ounce of joy stashed away for the bad times, had been sucked out of you until there was nothing left but an empty shell. While everyone seemed to be able to move on with their lives, even finding the power to grow and improve themselves, your life became stagnant. Stuck in the same place as the year before, with no progress to show, you started plummeting down the spiral towards the ground headfirst.

Everything felt weirdly numb. The light days had merged with the dark days until everything was just grey. No highs, no lows. Just – nothingness. At some point, you had stopped caring. All you wanted to do was sleep. And even though you were tired, you just couldn’t.

Living became more exhausting every single day.

A loud knock on the front door to your apartment pulled you out of your thoughts.

“(Y/N)? Are you home?”

Ransom’s voice from the other side of the door let your heart sink. He couldn’t come in here. Your apartment was a mess – dirty dishes piled up in the kitchen, piles over piles of stuff cluttered the living room, leaving no clear spaces on the floor.

“I know you’re there. Open up!”

Shit, you thought, holding your breath. Maybe if you kept quiet, he would go away. You could text him that you were … buying groceries. Yes, buying groceries! That was a believable excuse!

Go away, Ransom! Please!

You took a quick look down at yourself. You were still wearing the same old T-shirt and sweatpants you had found in one of the clothing piles two days ago. For some reason, you were only wearing one of your socks. Until now, you hadn’t even noticed the other one was missing.

“(Y/N)”, Ransom said again, his voice softer this time, “Are you okay?”

The question caught you off guard.

No, a tiny part of your soul cried out.

In fear of an actual sound leaving your body, you pressed a hand over your mouth. You tried to force all the emotions back down that threatened to come to the surface.

“I’m going to let myself in.”

In horror, you remembered the spare key that you had given him ages ago.

You heard the sound of the key turning in the lock and the front door being opened.

The light was switched on in the hallway and you could see Ransom stepping into your apartment.

You couldn’t move or say anything as you watched him making is way through the mess, slowly coming towards you.

He must be repulsed by you.

He had his shit to deal with and your problems were nothing compared to his.

You were a failure.

Not capable of doing anything.

Even if it was something as basic as keeping your apartment clean.

I am a failure. I am a failure. I am a failure.

Neither of you had said a single word ever since Ransom had entered the apartment. You just stood there in silence, looking up into his blue eyes, waiting for his reaction.

Suddenly, his eyes went soft.

“Do you need help, (Y/N)?”

It was as if he had whispered some kind of magic spell. A loud sob escaped your lips.

“Yes.”

Author’s Note:

Some people will probably consider this next part cheesy or cringy, but I feel like it needs to be said:

If you are struggling with your mental health right now, I want to let you know that it will get better.

Even if it may not seem like it now, it will. One of the most difficult parts of every journey towards better mental health is to recognise that there is a problem in the first place. Once you’re at this point, it is crucial, that you actively take the next step: get help. There is nothing wrong with needing help. Don’t be ashamed. We all need help sometimes. I know, that this can be scary. But I also know that you are so much stronger than you may believe right now.

You will get through this. Feel hugged. Len.

#ransom x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom thrombey x you #ransom drydale x you #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale masterlist #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom thrombey x y/n #ransom drysdale x fem!reader #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale fanfic #ransom drysdale angst #chris evans #chris evans characters #depression #trigger warning

84 notes · View notes

blankdblank · 3 years

Text

Brother Dearest Pt 54

English Composition, Trigonometry, Calculus, Astronomy, Sociology and Rhetoric filled your Tuesday roster of classes ended with you in your mother’s old chair lounging while you drafted up more of the first papers due soon then slept to follow the list of classes for your Wednesday line up complete with a stop in your Photography club. Soon enough a week had gone by and Saturday morning you sat up in wait for your appointment with Herc later today.

Since after Mass the prior Wednesday evening in a stare at the tv set across a legal pad sat diagrams for a new set that even had the guys in their continued paths through between offers of snacks and daily pears admiring the puzzling designs. Several parts and pieces you couldn’t even find in the books available to the public that had Elliot on his latest trip to your place in an amazed look over the pages he flipped through to your anxious stare. “This is impressive, and you dreamed all of this up?”

You nodded in his glance up, “We watched the night broadcast on the storm front last week and then when I woke up those were in my head.”

His grin spread, “Well this is a very good sign. Makes the sets available to the public infantile by comparison. Have you considered manipulation of materials yet?”

“I made a screw, like thing,” you said in lifting the half metal and glass like corkscrew shaped item you were a bit timid to show him, “But it doesn’t feel like any metal or glass I’ve felt before.”

Slid forward he claimed hold of the item and smiled at it in awe turning it this way and that, “Very impressive. Manipulation is quite impossible to master, only five of our brothers were able to even attempt it and only Erich was able to master it, part of why I imagine you chose him for your Second and guardian of your essence. Is this all you have created?”

“Outside of babies, ya,” that had him chuckle to himself, “Had to sleep nearly half a day after that.”

“Yes, it can be quite draining from what I hear. Chaos magic has a weight to it. This, much like a tube for the tv set you have over there is used to harness the image. However this is much more powerful and by this design you can harness solar power to load up the wave converter box, which I can imagine for you will be the most enjoyable to make.”

“Is it all going to have to be made by manipulation? Or can we find parts here on this planet?”

“The casing and some of the more simplistic materials, screws and brackets and of course the wooden box casing could be certainly. While the aspects that power and shift and project the image onto the screen must be from materials either you manipulate or we can bribe to be smuggled off of Asgard.”

“I can imagine Odin will be pleased to have us bribing his gate keeper to build myself a television set.”

Again he chuckled and replied, “Heimdall will not require bribes.”

“Not that we have his currency anyways.”

“You are learning,” he replied, “This time of growth will aid greatly in your remembrance.”

“Ah, yes, my awakening.”

“Not exactly, have to spark the memory first, then you can pave the way to awakening. The journals are helping to show you through time and spark your imagination and memory.”

“So, maybe five television sets then I can wake up?”

Again he chuckled, “Perhaps we can expand your horizons for topics of projects to keep your mind exercised.” The doorbell rang and he smiled stating, “That must be Herc.”

“Ooh, I’ll get the tea,” you said to the whine of the kettle that had him help you up to fetch it to pour for him to Eddie’s fetch of the door to let him in to join Ambrose in the living room for the weekly check up for the both of you. Back again mentally pushing the rolling cart you returned with Teddy on your hip after having helped him fix up some sliced fruit and cheese to go with your bowls of pickled beets and baby carrots.

Victor chuckled crossing your path accepting hold of Teddy, “Come on Teddy, let’s get back to your spot and watch aunt Bunny get her check up.”

Gladly to the excited wiggle of his sister on a padded quilt on the floor still goading her body in rocks back and forth on all fours on her way to the early stages of crawling beside Leanora on her back more concerned with the toy pinned between her feet that learning to move on her own at the moment Teddy sat on Victor’s lap on the chair closest to Leanora. James already in the living room fixed up your pillows again and moved the notes and part you had made aside to help serve out the tea and snacks so he could nestle you back into your seat.

Dawn from the other room asked, “Has anyone seen my coin purse?”

Eddie upon his return said with a grin, “You left it in the kitchen by your purse.” That had her let out a puff of air and smooth a hand over her clammy forehead, “You don’t need it you need to be in bed.”

Dawn replied, “I need something to do.”

Eddie, “You’ve already given your flu to Norma now you get your butt back in bed and I will bring you some soup.”

Dawn said, “I did not give-,”

Eddie sighed and turned to scoop her up in his arms and carry her back to bed, “Honestly Sweetheart you can be so stubborn sometimes. Now get back in bed and stay there the stew and rice will be finished in a little bit. Don’t make me lock the door.”

Her grumble was heard on the staircase and you chuckled to yourself and said to Herc, “Sorry, Dawn’s got the flu, been hard to hold down. We don’t catch it but it has made Norma miserable.”

Herc chuckled and said, “Not a problem, and if you like we could give you some ground herbs to aid in their recovery from our people easy to mix in with tea or coffee to build up their immune systems. We often give it to our mortal allies through our lifetimes here. To lessen what suffering we can.”

Victor asked, “Will it make them get better quickly?”

Elliot, “Oh yes, by tomorrow at the earliest, two days depending on how early in the progression we have caught it.”

Ambrose sighed, “Well that will be used often as my boys keep passing their colds and flu’s around.”

Herc smirked and said, “I can offer monthly supplies of herbal vitamins for them if that will improve their odds of staving off this pesky cold your planet has invented.”

“Are you telling me the common cold is native to our planet?” you asked with a smirk.

Elliot, “Oh yes, and quite debilitating to a fair bit of races. While the mortals have built up a way to trudge through it, quite impressive. Most planets eradicate bacteria all together while the intestines and stomach are just a few of the locations of the human body that create habitats for strains that help to keep their bodies healthy to stave off worse strains from the world around us. Ingenious, bit mad, but ingenious.”

James, “And Jaqi won’t get sick at all?”

Herc shook his head, “There are few substances strong enough to debilitate her healing abilities and all of those are for purposes of our race.”

Victor, “What purpose could that be?”

Herc, “Labor, for one. Not in the sense she wouldn’t heal but to grant pain relief. Though it is a heavy sedative, the other two are more hallucinogenic to lower consciousness of pain to keep you awake but, mellow.”

“Like laughing gas?”

Herc, “Yes, but stronger. Most likely for labor we will give you the latter for the birth and the former for recovery to allow you rest.”

“How’d you manage to discover those medicines? Even morphine couldn’t last longer than a few seconds in my bloodstream in the war.”

Herc paused a moment then said, “Well, you gave them to us, taught us to grow them and how to harvest and mix them with the first of us. You will remember. Time has written about your studies of medicine for our race.” You nodded then he said after accepting his tea, “For now, any discomfort?”

“Not particularly, though I did get a rather rude kick to my bladder last night and nearly made a puddle on the way to the toilet.”

Ambrose chuckled knowing the bladder wars well along with Herc who set down his cup and moved to take hold of one of your feet to begin the exam there. “I wish I could aid in that, however, toes to head so you can snack and calm your girls a bit.”

A little bit beyond the basic feels of your belly and back a few feels around your ribs came before the final neck to jaw checks that had his grin spread in saying, “Perfect health. How are your skin allergies holding up?”

“Still get a few red patches from perfumes from some of the ladies at school. But lotion at home tends to fix that.”

Herc, “Honey based?”

You nodded, “Dawn’s family makes it.”

Herc, “Very good, honey is very soothing for our expecting mothers. Even some in your tea or some honey based lozenges could help while you are at school if it grows too bothersome.”

“Not to bad, just mainly in my Lit class, there’s a whole group that seem to just exhale lavender. Close to when I go home.”

Elliot, “I could possibly persuade a few young ladies to avoid the scent.”

You smirked his way, “We don’t need to go to that extreme. Can’t blank out the whole plant from the planet.”

Elliot chuckled to Eddie’s saying from his spot with Teddy now on his lap to share the snacks, “Oh I bet they could if they tried.”

Herc, “Quite a common ailment for all our brothers on this planet. Though a few centuries of exposure has built up a minor tolerance to the plant. Yet, honey has aided in our tolerance. When our brothers arrive a great many colonies of bees will be bred to aid in the exposure ailments of those who have little tolerance from no prior experience on this planet.”

Victor said, “Jimmy used to get the worst of spring every time it came around until we managed to coax him to eat honey on his rolls. Local pollen from the hives nearby helps.”

Herc grinned and said in the production of his stethoscope for the lung and heart check before the girdle scanner, “If you change your mind let us know.”

“Hard to imagine,” you said to his switch from a listen of one lung to the next, “Tear planes out of the sky but a tiny flower can take me out.”

Herc chuckled to Eddie’s saying, “Everyone has a weakness. All the best heroes do.”

You nodded and asked, “Do you think I’d be more likely for a natural birth?” His eyes snapped to yours and Eddie’s lips parted to James’ hand smoothing across your back showing you’d had this worrisome conversation before. “By my progress so far, do you think?”

Herc gave you a kind grin and answered, “Caesareans as the mortals call them are quite common amongst our people. I could give you an answer now and most likely be proven wrong for how the labor develops. Though I assure you were we have to handle the labor apart from the natural breathe and push method you are in the safest hands, especially should Eric and Sarah be present. I will warn you either way you will require a break of rest. Which you are greatly due for.”

Ambrose asked, “From it being triplets?”

Herc nodded, “Mainly yes, however there is a drastic recovery for our birthing mothers.”

“How drastic?” James asked.

Elliot said, “Where mortal mothers gradually lose the birth weight within an hour roughly Jaqi should be back to her former size. The shock can be rather upsetting to mothers especially in their first birth. My wife barely spoke at all to me for three days afterwards.”

Herc said, “The response varies, however merely prepare to be at rest for a time afterwards, that mentality of an upcoming rest can be calming for some mothers, especially with multiples. And much like when you have lost a limb before while there is rapid regrowth should we operate we will ensure your daughters are all within sight while the change occurs. We have learned that lesson of distance being discouraged for a steadying moment after birth by a few very upset mothers.”

Victor, “The drugs, made them think they imagined the pregnancy?”

Herc nodded, “Something like that.” Earning a round of calming nods to the problems your birth might entail. “However, I am certain with all of us around the trio can be cared for along with Mother while she recovers her strength.”

Ambrose asked, “Did you want us to come out or do you think you would want the quiet away from the kids?”

“I don’t really know how I will handle the long drive back again to Canada, I’d hate to put you through that ordeal with your owl girl you have a system worked out and I know you like your space after. You shouldn’t have to fawn over me, I’ve got the guys for that.”

Making them smirk your way and her nod and say, “You do have a point. At the very least we can visit with Father Thomas for a joint christening for our girls.” She looked to Herc asking, “Is there a better way to get her to Canada if she can’t handle the long drive?”

Herc nodded, “Absolutely. We can use our mist gateways to travel through which is quite safe for expecting mothers. Quick and painless we can cut the travel time, middle of the night you get to a bridge and we can drop you on the long tree lined road just outside of your town up there.”

Victor, “Be a good change, especially since we haven’t picked a car yet for when the girls are here, truck won’t be big enough for all of you soon.”

Ambrose smirked saying, “Oh don’t you worry on the car, our family is picking something top of the line like we did for when Teddy was born.” You sighed and she smiled at you with a pat of her hand on yours widening the mens’ smiles around you, “You need something safer than a truck for your girls to travel in, just finishing up the paint job last I heard.” You sighed and she said, “Cars are a given from us.”

Belly scans to supper and the first dose of medicine was given to the ailing mothers who would indeed feel better the following day and both sit excitedly with you through the first bout of crawling that Marigold took with some goading from her big brother fully recorded on film by both you and Victor.

20 weeks along and in your third week of classes the first of your private study time in the library found you at a comfortable table in a corner near to the section of books you had scanned for any titles that you had yet to read. On the other side of the section you could clearly hear a group of pre-law students who were locked in a sort of prep debate that seemed to be a losing battle. The argument however had you turn your head and sigh softly in a scoot of your chair back to ease up to your feet and halfway across the room you stopped at the directory. With ease from the drawers you pulled out simple flicks of fingers brought out the first card that onto the pad of paper atop the wooden directory you used the pen there to copy the details of the book then put the card back to pull out another drawer and find a second card to copy that as well. Smoothly you strolled back to your section and then passed it to approach the table of bickering students who relented to irritated huffs and looked up at you with curiously raised brows.

Onto the table you set the sheet as they all had their hands full of notes and books they were drawing arguments from. “This will help. First one talks about the contract clauses you were referring to. The numbers underneath is the page then paragraph. And if whoever you are bickering against brings up Malone vs Tumnson that verdict was overturned 15 years ago with an undertone of profiteering by extortion. It’s noted in the second book.” On your feet you turned while the closest student lifted the sheet, “happy arguing,” you said and went back to your seat. Into which once you settled back again while they had looked over the now torn sheet two of them were off to fetch the books they returned with the books they each read over aloud then paused. A silence that had the hair on the back of your neck shift to the known feeling of the table looking in your direction.

All at once on their feet around the table they all walked around the shelves to your table where they saw you look up from the book in your hands. “How did you know about these?”

“I’ve read every law book in the New York City Public Library.”

Another asked, “Every book?”

You nodded, “I didn’t have many friends aside from the Brocks who adopted me.”

One of them nodded and after a moment of pursed lips asked for your opinion on what book could help him on his own prompt that led you to write him a note on a spare sheet of paper you handed him stirring up a round of questions to get more help from your wealth of knowledge. Then each darted off to get back to sleuthing for what else they would need.

Left to your notes again you read through and returned each of your chosen books ignoring the newspaper in your bag that bore headlines that Princess Elizabeth was pregnant and dared to stir up comments that you were jealous of that status. Two more trips to fetch book finished off your free period and then off you went to your next class once each book was returned to its proper home.

Notes copied in their next class for the missed lab were handed over by your lab partners to you in passing. Though it really didn’t matter as the next Chemistry class again in the library where on your way to the same table you spotted General Eisenhower alongside a larger group of pre-law students, each of whom you looked over wondering what they were up to aside from possibly asking for help with their study group references. “Hello General.”

With his grin he replied, “Hello Corporal. I overheard from a few of our Law Professors how you helped some of their students with their case arguments for the lead up debates to the mock court sessions beginning next week.”

“I did,” you replied.

The General said in a notice of the approaching Law Professors who head the mock court sessions, “Well then we have an offer for you to fill up your private studies schedule. Normally amongst our pool of pre-law students we divide them into groups for four cases, Defense and Prosecution and for our best student we grant the position of Judge with the remainder chosen as the jury pool. Although it would seem this year like the last we are in need of a neutral party as the former class was unable to avoid being swayed to side with their friends no matter how convincing the arguments of the opposing party. Would you be willing to assist us? You would be fully credited for the role.”

“I suppose, how often are the cases?” You said in a combination of curiosity and a loss for how to refuse.

His grin eased out wider, “Same dates as your free classes. We will keep the schedules to that time parameter and the cases will not last a full month each, we will be ensuring neither side stalls for time. To ensure the defense is granted a speedy trial as per their rights. Two cases the first month and two more the next. They will be fully followed by the journalism students and Columbia’s Paper. Since you are not versed in courtroom etiquette I will be sitting next to you as a sort of voice of experience if you do get stumped on anything as I am somewhat versed as a Judge and have seen a fair share of Court Martial cases in my time.” A book on etiquette was handed to you and he continued, “The week before your first two cases you will be given your supply of evidence and the file pertaining to the cases. All of which has been drafted by the visiting Lawyers who will be observing the court proceedings to aid our students in their paths onwards in their studies for their degrees.”

“Okay. Happy to help.”

“I hoped you’d say that.” One of the Law Professors stated.

“Hey handsome,” you giggled in James’ place at the bench halfway to the stairs from the car who wrapped you in a warm excited hug.

“Hello my Darling,” he locked eyes with Elliot in his own grin for your meeting, “Meetings and teacher politics not getting to you yet?” He asked in the blind acceptance of your armful of books, one book heavier that had him glance down at the book on courtroom etiquette then back up to the Professor again when he spoke.

“Not too terrible yet. Though there are whispers that prep for the Easter topics are to begin to be ready in time, as if they won’t just do the same as they’ve always done.” His smirk spread to James’ excited smile your way, “You seem to be holding in some news.”

James chuckled at your curious smirk up at him and replied, “Jaqi got a set of trunks from Spain, and a thick letter as well.”

“I don’t know anyone in Spain, do any of our people live in Spain?” You asked Elliot who shook his head.

“No. There is one just past Uraguay, but last I heard from his letters he said he was off to the Brazilian rainforests on an expedition of some traces of one of your lifetimes.”

You nodded and asked, “Well are you free and up for an adventure?”

That widened his smile and James’, “Thank you I would adore a chance to explore with you. And I speak and read various forms of Spanish if you require translations.”

“There’s more than one? Like French French and French Canadian?”

“Oh yes, not to mention Creole, which in Louisiana is a variation of French as well to an extent.”

Before you could ask in your turn James said, “We can’t go to Louisiana, me and Vic are still wanted there.” Your brow inched up and he flashed you a grin, “We um, blew up some buildings in the Civil War to track down a relative of a friend serving with us. I know they’re dead, but, some places still have our wanted posters on display.”

“I don’t,” you said in a shake of your head and he cut you off.

“Four of them were banks, you remember that guy who you asked if he was following us down in Texas?” You nodded, “He tried to corner me and Vic on your school tour trip. We hit a lot of banks, he wanted to ask where the money went. Had to make a few calls to make him leave.”

“If you just blew them up why would he think you had,” your lips parted to his smile that flinched wider a moment anxiously, and you asked softer, “You robbed banks too?”

“Hit a rough patch, after Xander.” He inhaled sharply then said, “But we didn’t keep it, drank it away, bought out some slave auctions to smuggle up North, but don’t worry, don’t have a cent of it now so it can’t hurt us.”

You pointed at him a moment then shook your head and curled the finger back and turned to the car, “Just when I was getting used to you’re being hired as a grave robber.”

He looked to Elliot and said, “We worked with Archeologists on digs.”

Elliot nodded mid chuckle, “Yes, I’ve seen you two in a few pictures, I’ve been collecting them. To go in our records.” James stepped back and opened the car door for you and Elliot said, “I’ll get my car and be right behind you.”

James nodded and looked to you in your ease down into the car he closed and hurried around to climb inside and fire up again with a timid grin. “Are you mad?”

You glanced at him and shook your head with a grin, “Just, bit of an odd day to hear you robbed banks.”

He shifted on the seat to ask, “Odd how?”

“Well the General found me in the library,” that had him nod, “And he asked if I would sit as Judge for the law students’ mock trials. Apparently there’s four trials and the top students are attorneys, the rest are witnesses, defendants and jurors. There will be a retired cop group for the bailiff and guards and actual attorneys sitting to judge the whole thing.”

“Why you? I love you, but why you? Clearly you aren’t in their classes.”

“Well I helped some guys the other day with their arguments and they told their Professors I’ve read all the law books in the Public Library and the General heard and he’s seen some Court Martials so he’s acting as my sort of buffer if I need help with something and gave me a book to read on how to act and procedure and all that.”

He nodded and said, “Well I’m sure you’ll be fantastic. Are you excited?”

“Um, I don’t know. They’ve scheduled the court sessions on my new study breaks and even the journalism students will be there to write all about it.” He nodded and turned to get you home at the mild shiver you fought back to get you home to the warm house to open your mystery trunks. “Apparently past few years they couldn’t get the top student to not side towards his friends or against those he doesn’t like so they wanted a neutral party I think they asked the General first and I was a convenient person to hand it over to.”

“Well if you change your mind just let them know.”

You nodded and asked, “Did you ever knock over any stage coaches or rob any trains or any other big heists I should know about?”

“Best you don’t know,” he hummed in a grin your way to your playfully challenging smirk, “Plausible deniability.”

“Ok,” you said in a content sigh settled into your mother’s chair, “I’m sitting down.” You said accepting he letter that Victor handed to you after having insisted that you sit first after the long day at school while his other hand lifted your legs for the footrest James brought over for you. “Hmm,” you said eyeing the front of the letter that was styled familiarly to how King George’s letters usually came.

Turning it over you eyed the wax seal there that had Elliot say, “That’s the seal of the Monarch of Spain.”

Once broken and lifted the flap was peers under and gently you pulled the folded pages out that you unfolded to read the top page after a clearing of your throat to the excited crowd of family around you.

“Baroness Jaqiearae Pear Howlett, we have not been formerly introduced. And I do hope you will not take this as forward of me however there is a new discovery of mine that I have wished to share with you since the first time I had seen your image in the photographs of the first meeting of you and His Highness King George VI. For a great many years I lived in Italy to focus upon my education prior to my having succeeded the Crown of Spain, and whilst there there is one figure that ages back to the very beginnings of my country.

The Queen of the Hare, for many nations all through Central and Southern America this figure exists and often in several places recorded at one time. Proof enough for some to have labeled her as a myth others used the name of to amass great fortunes and power amongst those they live in the same territories. All of them named Jaqiearae and described exactly the same as my Ambassador had described you upon his meeting you at the wedding of Princess Elizabeth of England with an affection for rabbits in one form or another.

The greatest in power, unlike the others, of which being the tales from my homeland of Spain. Said to have once been able to in a lift of her hand force an entire fleet of soldiers to strip them of their armor and weapons and in a cloud likened to a colorful starry sky fog they were off the shores and back on their ships that began to sail away from the shore. Eventually our King of old wished to have that devotion from those who in his ear whispered of plots to possibly overthrow him and put her in his place ordered her to be executed only to find her home empty upon arrival save for a symbol etched into the door.

Similar actions to those from central and Southern America from my studies and continuing even on further several kingdoms throughout Europe have similar tales with the same symbol and unreadable runes. All of which end in the same mysterious flight from all rumored to be directed towards Ireland, from where your family hails, to join the Pagans and to our people’s belief to spurn the advances of the British to claim their lands as long as possible.

Concerning the trunks, I have included a detailed list of how the documents inside are arranged. Including several letters in communications between various Kings and Queens with various Popes and religious figures to aid in overthrowing the assumed Witch ensnaring their people’s minds. While for others had been deemed a benevolent Goddess healing those brought to her with mystical powers unrivaled and unexplainable to even be able to bring those back from the very brink of death itself. All of which are amongst copies of documents both translated and not along with photographs of sketches and portraits of the varied women using the name. This is all I have acquired in my years of study into this myth that have been aided by copies from other countries to aid in possibly filling in some family history for you since I have been informed you were orphaned young and might have lost a great chunk of that lineage to have been shared with you as you grew.

My people were very disheartened to have heard of the stories being published concerning your health and know that you have been in our prayers wishing that those stories are false and you will be granted a great many children whenever God deems you and the Baron ready to welcome them. As always you will have a fond place within our hearts as the hopeful descendant of our cherished Queen of the Hare and know that when ready we will welcome you with open arms in a tour of Spain including the castle which your ancestor built herself.”

A moment you paused to giggle then say, “And it goes without saying none here will hold you responsible for any of the supposed crimes committed by the magnanimous Queen no matter how uncanny the resemblance or similarly brilliant mind capable of the same miraculous ability to protect those they cherish.” Making the others chuckle before you said, “Signed, Juan Carlos the first, Monarch of Spain.”

James teased, “So we’re not the only criminals of the family.”

That made you smirk back and then roll your eyes to Eddie’s saying, “Anything but a life of crime would never suit us misfits.”

“Just goes to prove I am not the voice of reason some people assume in our bunch.”

Victor chuckled and asked, “Which case first?”

You glanced over the second page and said, “The one from, Japan is in the hat box shaped one.”

Victor hummed amusedly, “You were in Japan? Wonder when.” He lifted the box and peered inside saying, “All in Japanese. We can translate those later for you.”

“Um, Czechoslovakia, Sweden and Norway are in the briefcase one underneath that. Egypt, Italy, Greece, and Ireland are in the smaller chest, with the copies of what he’s gathered from England’s records as well. Just leaving the large trunk for South America.”

Elliot nodded and said, “Well I can get started on the large trunk, browse through what he has gathered.”

You nodded and said, “I guess I’ll check out the briefcase one, since it’s the smallest collection.” James and Victor brought it over and from the top down you began to read the top page of the first paper folder bound with twine on the stack of more bound stacks that filled the box and named the order the history was complied.

Elliot however drew your gaze by his saying, “These are Royal Record copies. Not available to the non-noble born historians. No telling what’s in these.” More amused by the secrecy of it all while you smirked and unwound the folder that while he began to use his own golden pen and a legal pad from a stack of spares to translate the first document while you turned through the stack of papers you would need to translate later from translation guides the guys would pick up for you off the list they were making and stopped to each photograph of various photographs and diagrams and sketches throughout. By the fifth folder you had to take a break and move to have the dinner that had finished cooking where you said, “It could take us years to go through all this.”

Elliot said, “I could call the twins to stay with me.”

Dawn asked, “The twins?”

Elliot glanced between you and said, “Oh, yes, they live out in Maine, mostly hermits but they have a good deal of money to live off of from several sound investments over the years. While we work they could translate the documents.”

“Wouldn’t that be bordering on abuse of power? To have them translate everything for us?”

That had him chuckle and say, “The pair of them together aided in the formation of the Oxford Dictionaries and translation guides to several languages both dead and still kicking. They compile all of our discoveries into the directory vaults we have. Trust me, they are starving for information like this and much like the scans for your children the information will be compiled in holograms as well within our system for easy travel between locations and events. Even be able to show you pinpoints on maps for events to show where you were focused and then perhaps when they are done we might know why you chose now to come back and be solid again. We’ve already deduced James and Victor had to be in Canada before that big meteor shower that one of your former selves hinted at within our runes back on Asgard.”

Norma said, “That Hubble guy, he discovered the universe in 1925. We learned about it in school.”

Elliot drew in a breath, “Yes, how could I forget that.”

Eddie, “So, this planet finds out that it’s one universe of many and you decide now’s the time. It fits. Us being aliens and all.”

Dawn asked, “Is it that big of a deal to know why now?”

Elliot shook his head, “Not particularly to us, though others will question it eventually. Now we can say Jaqi chose the year this planet essentially realized they were not alone and came to help them grow.”

Victor, “Much better than the alternative that you came to fight in the war.”

You asked, “Could that be why that Ares guy came to start the First World War?”

Elliot nodded, “It is plausible. Discovery of other planets and technology of their own means helped to dismantle their power scope over the mortals. While the country is at war mainly brute strength is focused on, not intellectual growth.”

Norma said, “Either way I can’t wait to hear what you have been up to on this planet. Be a nice change to not hear another endless cycle of history written about the men of this planet.”

That had you giggle and say, “Well if I’ve had numerous Popes contacted to have me exorcised no telling what hell I gave those Kings and their soldiers.”

Pt 55

All –

@sherala007, @mariannetora, @jesgisborne, @knitastically, @catthefearless, @theincaprincess, ggbbhehe4455, @lilith15000, @alishlieb

X Marvel-Cast - @himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @changlingkhat

Brother Dearest - @thorinanddwalinsdwarrowdam, @swoopswishsward

#James Howlett x OC #Victor Creed x Norma Jeane #Eddie Brock x OC #Venom #Elliot Randolph #Classes #Surprise Gifts from Spain #History of Mystery #Queen of the Hare #Marvel #XMen #Proposition #Mock Jury Judge #General Eisenhower #Baby Check #OC Herc

11 notes · View notes

itsyogirlwaddup-blog · 3 years

Text

Many of us live busy lives. Sometimes it feels like we don’t have enough time in the day for us to get our responsibilities done. It can be overwhelming trying to go to school, go to work, run errands, have a social life, and get all of your meals in within 24 hours. I know I get overwhelmed. It can be even more overwhelming when you try fitting in a workout. Personally, fitting in at least 30 minutes of exercise per day has changed my life. I used to find it so difficult to find motivation to work out each day. I have now found a passion for exercise because of all of the health benefits I gain from it. A few of the many benefits I have seen from working out regularly include feeling more energy throughout my days, feeling happier overall, and feeling more toned and stronger. These things have made such a difference in not only my physical health, but also my mental health. Although I only listed three, there are many more benefits found from a little bit of exercise each day. Exercise can be whatever it means to you. It can be a walk, a run, weight lifting, dancing, playing a sport, basically anything active. Healthline provided a list of even more benefits they found from regular exercise in their online article.

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-benefits-of-exercise

The article from healthline is great because every person can relate to at least one of their reasons for exercise. Whether you need to improve on your mental health, weight loss, skin, you name it, this article dives into how exercise could potentially help. I found this article especially helpful when first starting my fitness journey because it opened my eyes to so many new advantages of exercise. I had always thought working out was solely meant for helping your body’s physical appearance, but there are so many other factors included.

https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/pa-health/index.htm

The link above included a few extra advantages that could be more tailored towards people of all ages. For example, it discusses how exercise could prevent falls and increase your life span! At first it might be hard to fit exercise into your busy routine, but even a short walk a day will make a huge difference in your life.

1 note · View note

comeonthinkers · 3 years

Text

The Constant Struggle of Cuteness

I feel like, this morning, I need to talk about body image. Body image, and the constant barrage of conflicting messages around body image that I, as a midsize woman, receive and dissect every day.

First of all: midsize. Was this even a term five years ago? As “plus size” has become more ubiquitous and more accepted in the past decade, “fat” has been reclaimed, and “curvy” is suddenly more of a feeling than a descriptor, the terms I used to identify with as a teenager now, somehow, no longer apply to me anymore. I’m not sure what happened in the past decade; in high school I distinctly remember almost always being the largest woman in the room. Since then, whether it’s due to perception, self-confidence, age, awareness, or just... overall changes in the population, I now find myself distinctly in the middle.

Note: I’ve been a size 12-16 my entire post-adolescent life. For one brief stint after college I could fit into a size 10. But before and since, 14 has been the mainstay numeral in my wardrobe. My steady friend and most accurate guesstimate across brands as to what my body may fit.

14, despite being the most (so I’m told) “common” size amongst women, was for many years infamous for being the most left-out, in-between size in clothing stores. In juniors’ stores (marketed toward teens: your Charlotte Russe’s and Forever 21′s), 14 would translate to the non-existent XXL: with “XL” usually falling in the “12″ range. In Plus Size or Women’s stores, 14 is a 0X; 1X is most commonly measured around a “16″ size.

About 5 years ago I found a fashion youtuber who made a video decrying the variation of a size 12 across different brands. And I’ll agree: sizes vary a lot from brand to brand, despite there being a base similarity in most big brand stores. She, like me, found herself living in this dreaded size 12-14 fashion purgatory, this no-womans-land of sizes. And even here! The numbers can’t be trusted!

She called herself “midsize”. She looked a lot like me. And at last, I had a label I could consistently search and see body types that I could identify with. From what I can tell, midsize is the chosen moniker for fashion influencers sizes 8-16, with of course, varying body shapes and compositions. For example, many of the folks I follow on instagram that claim “midsize” wear a VERY different bra size from me- so to find “fashion inspiration” I can actually act upon from midsize influencers, I also have to bring in a few accounts that allow for more top-heavy-friendly designs.

Despite all of the overwhelming positivity and diversity now available to me as a midsize woman (for example, almost all plus-size brands now start at a size 10-12 (00X-0X), and most “regular” retail brands now extend to a XXL), I can’t help but go back to my first observation: I’m no longer the largest woman in the room. While I don’t consider myself particularly unhealthy, I also know I’m not passing any presidential fitness tests any time soon. I find it difficult to run for extended periods of time. My joint strength isn’t nearly what it should be to support my weight. While muscular, I have a lot of extraneous body fat that adds strain to my daily life, and all my body’s systems: skeletal, endocrine, muscular, cardiovascular. This isn’t good. I’ve worked for years to try to find ways to get stronger, lose weight, and improve my overall health- in fact, the difficulty I faced when trying to lose weight was what led me to discover that I have PCOS and a few hormonal hurdles to maintaining a healthy body weight.

But when I try to research how best to approach health and weight loss with PCOS, the studies are few and far between- and when available are fairly inconclusive and far from thorough. I’m left to follow MORE accounts of personal success stories, all of which are biased toward one product or another, one lifestyle brand or book tour, all of which are antithetical to every other product, book, or brand I’ve seen before.

On the one hand, I’m grateful to see more body types represented in the media. It IS helpful to my self-esteem to normalize the bodies of women both my size and larger than me (even if there’s still a prevalence of too-smooth skin and too-round belly buttons). But I also worry about how we tend to conflate feeling good about ourselves to being healthy. They aren’t the same. And we’re letting commercial forces tell us that it’s okay to be unhealthy even when attempting to BE healthy: mentally or physically.

Time to come clean here: for the past year, I’ve been experimenting on and off with a carnivore lifestyle, which, OBVIOUSLY, many people assume is super unhealthy, much like the stigma around Atkins in the early 2000′s. Honestly, it feels a lot like Atkins did back in the day: lots of bacon, burgers, steak, and eggs. Quite literally “zero-carb”, as opposed to just “low-carb”. While low-carb isn’t really new anymore, and many people can see carnivore as a logical step past the surprisingly universally accepted ketogenic diet, I was amazed to discover just how much the “science” of the trendier diets of the past decade (paleo, keto, whole-30) don’t match up to the scientific, accepted nutritional advice of the actual medical community.

Last year I started going to a weight-loss clinic at the behest of my OB-GYN in an attempt to get my PCOS and weight “under control”. I’m gonna spoil most of the rest of this rant by saying this was a pretty dumb idea for someone like me. This clinic was created around those with extreme weight issues, for whom psychological care and bariatric surgery are the most “effective” forms of treatment (again, according to the health care system that seems determined to sell it, but I’ll talk more about THAT another time). The nutritionist I met with gave me the same spiel I’d read time and time again from every weight-loss specialist book I’d bought, despite me relaying to her my decades-long struggle with traditional diets and fat-loss strategies. A ketogenic diet was never recommended to me, nor any kind of actual dietary changes to help with hormone balance/control: I was prescribed metformin (a drug for insulin resistance most commonly prescribed to type 2 diabetics) and told to eat a low-fat, high-fiber diet.

I didn’t lose any weight. My periods didn’t regulate. I just stopped gaining weight as fast... although I did eventually gain back the 12 pounds I’d lost from my first 2 months on carnivore.

The truth is, that treatment plan, that clinic... it doesn’t exist for someone who is trying to change their body chemistry. It might work for folks that are so obese that literally ANY form of mindful eating will help them lose 200 pounds. But let’s be real: if I lost 200 pounds, I’d weigh 6 pounds. I’m a tall, muscular woman with some fat that has tried all the recommended diets for fat loss. Through them all, I fight cravings and energy loss, mood swings, and all the symptoms that come with PCOS. The ONLY thing I’ve found in the past 10 years that actually helps with my PCOS?

Regular exercise, stress management, and a carnivore diet.

I’ll also point out that when I DID lose a considerable amount of weight after college (due to what I think was a combination of 1. getting enough sleep for once, 2. intermittent fasting, and 3. regular hiking), it was also easier for me to maintain my weight and many of my PCOS symptoms went away. It wasn’t until I switched to a HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL method that I then gained back all of the weight I lost (and then some) and once again began fighting uncontrolled PCOS symptoms. They compounded on each other, and made it harder and harder to get back to any kind of “normal”.

So, I’m back on carnivore. In addition to more stable energy, noticeable reduction of PCOS symptoms, and slight weight loss, I also just... hurt a lot less on carnivore. Along this journey I’ve finally realized that I do in fact have a chronic pain problem. Whether it’s due to chronic inflammation, past injuries, or food sensitivities, I’m not really sure: but I know when I eat carnivore, my chronic pain all but goes away. Recently, I’ve been recovering from a back injury, so there was of course some pain associated with that (as well as a break from regular exercise, which I plan to get back to once I’m cleared by my chiropractor), but the daily body aches, numbness, and discomfort?

Gone.

I’ve got regular periods when I eat this way- like, ACTUALLY one a month like I’m supposed to have. My facial hair growth slows down, even thins out. My focus improves. I sleep better, and actually follow a normal circadian rhythm. What’s total bananas is that I’m not the only one who experiences this: MANY folks who’ve tried this way of eating report daily quality of life improvements.

I’m not going to say everyone should eat this way; I’m not even going to suggest that everyone with PCOS should eat this way. But I WOULD love to see some actual RESEARCH done on this way of eating- or even better research on a ketogenic diet! I’m so frustrated by the lack of medical research on nutrition, and in particular the lack of action to curb the universally-accepted-to-be-unhealthy nutrition standards in America. While I won’t say it’s hard to eat carnivore (cause like, all diets are hard), I have noticed over the years that NO ONE IN OUR COUNTRY IS HEALTHY anymore- except for those whose JOB it is to be healthy. And this isn’t a coincidence!! Almost all cultures that have adopted American corporatized food structures are chronically unhealthy, and much, much more fat than they used to be.

I agree that being fat isn’t always a personal failing, and I’m so, SO glad that more and more figures in our media diets are representing the diverse catalogue of body shapes and sizes reflected in our world. I’m happy that my future daughter won’t be fat-shamed the same way I was as a little girl, and that she likely won’t be told (like I was) that she’s too fat to be what she wants to be when she grows up, despite not actually being all that fat.

BUT. Fat representation is not the hill I want to literally die on. I’m not willing to throw my health, my comfort, my ability to be active, away for my “right” to eat ice cream every day. I’m sick of being marketed to constantly as a garbage disposal. I’m not just here to eat and diet and wear clothes.

I’m here to LIVE. I’m here to plant gardens and make art and take walks and enjoy the seasons. And I can’t do a lot of those things if I’m constantly sick and in pain. And it’s way harder to enjoy not being sick and not being in pain when all we know to do as a society when spending time together is... eat food.

What frustrates me is, I think so much of this really comes down to marketing, corporate profit-mongering, and the way our political system is set up to make laws for companies instead of people. I think capitalism is making us fat and unhealthy, to sell us sugar and diets and medicine and surgeries in an endless cycle of crap. I don’t really have much more to say on that, I don’t have sources, except like... well, look around you. Look at the system we have. Look at what we’re told to do to escape it. And look at how many forces are there to take us right back to the beginning of the roller coaster when we have a little success.

Side note/conspiracy theory time: I actually think liposuction might be a more safe and effective (literally EFFECTIVE not just safe) form of “weight loss surgery” in helping folks with actual, permanent weight loss. Hear me out: while I will fully admit I can’t remember where I read any of this (as I’ve read so many scores of information regarding health and weight loss over my lifetime), I seem to remember body fat working something like this: it’s really easy for your body to make new fat cells, but very difficult for your body to destroy them. So, when you gain fat, it first occurs by your body filling your fat cells with fat, until they can’t hold anymore, and then your body makes new fat cells, which makes it easier for your body to hold onto said fat. The best way to “reset” your body’s fat threshold is to literally destroy or remove the fat cells. And, I assume, if you adopt more healthy habits AFTER having liposuction, your body would be less likely to create more fat cells than it was when you lived an unhealthy lifestyle.

Bariatric surgery is incredibly invasive and dangerous, and almost always ends up reversed by bad habits and your body’s natural ability to STORE FAT AND STRETCH YOUR STOMACH. It’s a temporary solution, and often proves to be ineffective in the long term, and leads to many unfortunate complications over time, not to mention the recovery from that surgery is LONG and TOUGH.

But liposuction (the most COMMON FORM OF PLASTIC SURGERY, I’ll add), is the only “weight loss” procedure (despite not being labeled as such- it’s “cosmetic surgery” even though it most definitely WOULD result in weight loss, right?) that actually removes fat from your body. Literally takes the fat cells away so your body can’t fill them up again, without once again needing to create more.

But bariatric surgery is covered by insurance, and liposuction isn’t... despite the fact that removing weight and fat from the body would be a more instant and potentially effective cure for obesity and its underlying symptoms, and being a simpler procedure overall, as well as extremely common.

So like... why is being fat something poor people are forced to endure dangerous surgery and super long recoveries and lifetime habit changes to overcome, but rich people just get to have their fat vacuumed away? Sounds sus to me.

5 notes · View notes

work-life-harmony · 3 years

Text

Harmony Journal/Blog Posts

9/8/21

“I Stress, Eustress, We All Stress”

It is two days past my 42nd birthday and the eve before the start of another school year. And I anticipate it is going to be a year like no other. There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty that I am feeling at the moment. Personally, I am in the thick of things trying to raise my twelve year-old daughter and blend ourselves with my fiancee and her two children. It has not been easy. My daughter has dealt with anxiety ever since she was little. Her mom passed away two months after her second birthday and it’s hard to know whether her personality has been shaped in part because of the void my wife’s passing created. Now that she is entering adolescence, a certain alchemy of anxiety, anger, and depression has yielded some chaos in our household.

That the pandemic happened to coincide with the time in her life where she is feeling the hardest is unfortunate. Did the lockdown and disruption to our lives exacerbate her feelings of anxiety and anger? It’s probably a safe bet that it did. So that has been a major area of concern and frustration for me.

On the professional side of things, although last year was difficult for many teachers, and I certainly had my frustrations, I was in a fairly good place mentally. There were some aspects to the school year that I actually found novel and enjoyed, such as the ability to sleep later, roll out of bed and teach from my kitchen table. Conversely, the new routine allowed me to develop some habits that were not healthy, including daily rituals such as making and drinking light and sweet coffee and having a serving or two of ice cream nightly between dinner and bed. Furthermore, I seemed to become a slave to my phone. Although I’ve had the willpower to delete apps such as Facebook off of my phone in the past, the last few years I became addicted to the news...and Instagram...and checking my email. One concerning consequence of the pandemic is that I’ve lost my concentration stamina. If I start something, particularly work related, it only takes a few minutes before I feel compelled to get up and do something else, even just for a half minute. Of course this breaks my rhythm of work and I’m unable to achieve any kind of flow. And, worse, sometimes I find that I mean to do something, such as check the weather, but when I open up a tab to do it, I have completely lost what I meant to do when I opened the tab. Scary!

With the start of the new school year, I intend to turn over a new leaf so to speak by approaching different aspects of my professional and personal life with an eye towards my well-being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The forthcoming journal entries will chronicle the conscious changes that I am making in order to foster more harmony in my life and a stronger sense of well-being. Part of that will be my investment in activities that help me achieve a sense of flow, including but not limited to music, reading, and immersing myself in nature.

9/16/21

“Time In a Bottle”

As the school year has started, the typical looseness of my summer days has come to an abrupt end. However, there are some benefits to the structure of my school days. My body has started to adjust to my new routine, and although the school day seems to necessitate a routine, there are conscious choices that I’m making to build a healthy daily schedule. I am up at 5:30 on weekday mornings and in bed reading by 10 pm, a major shift from previous school years in which I would stay up until 11 or later watching television before hopping in bed to fall asleep. Although I’m still adjusting to this new routine (as the school year is still young), I am recognizing an easier relationship with waking up in the morning. As noted in the course, avoiding screens before bedtime contributes to a better sleep and I am finding that I am waking up more rested and ready to meet the day.

An interesting stressor at the start of the school year, before my body has fully adopted the new schedule, is my anxiety that I will somehow miss my morning alarm. I’m the first one in the house who is up in the morning, and no one is coming to wake me in time for my early day if my alarm fails me. Thus, the first week (or two) of the school year leave me sleeping lightly and somewhat anxiously. I continue to add measures into my routine, such as meditation and muscle relaxation practices to help ease my mind. Additionally, I have quieted my mind before falling asleep by acknowledging the things that I am grateful for. This will be touched upon in more depth in a forthcoming journal entry, but there is tremendous value in gratitude. Lori Santos, a renowned professor at Yale University who teaches the highly sought course “The Science of Well-Being,” acknowledged in an article for Newsweek Magazine, “Grateful people tend to be happier and show lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. Health care workers who keep a gratitude journal show reductions in stress and depression. And people suffering from chronic pain who practice gratitude show improvements in both sleep quality and mood” (Santos). It has become an important strategy for me to ease the chronic stress and anxiety of life which gets exacerbated at the start of a new school year.

With each day, it does become easier to sleep peacefully and I suspect that soon my eyes will open a minute before my alarm rings. I am also pleased to report that rising before the sun comes up has been easier than in years past. Typically, trying to get out of bed in the dark has always been difficult and miserable. Of course, it may return to misery as winter sets in and leaving a warm bed is a shock to the system, but for now I am happy to report that the newly adopted schedule for this school year is working well.

On a more professional side of things, I have been working on my planning as it regards daily obligations. For instance, the adoption of daily to-do lists has helped me to stay better focused on items that need attention; efficient about tending to, and completing, those items; and avoid being frazzled like I have been in the past because the ideas bounce around my brain but have not been concrete since they aren’t visibly posted somewhere. The morning ritual of composing a daily to-do list has really been beneficial for me. An example of items that I’ve included on lists include: grade seven essays today, photocopy “Heroes” article, email Nina’s guidance counselor, drop two books in Mari’s mailbox, hit the supermarket with grocery list, and call the car dealership. Furthermore, I’ve been diligent about staying on top of the “house calendar” to not only make sure that all family events are noted on the calendar, but also to consult the calendar every day as part of my daily routine to see what obligations members of the household have that day and in the near future. This is an indispensable part of our lives and internal harmony. For instance, my daughter’s “picture day” is tomorrow. Since it is listed on the calendar, we can save ourselves stress and frustration by potentially being caught off guard that pictures are being taken tomorrow. Heaven forbid my daughter arrive at school with no inkling that it is picture day, likely exacerbating her stress/anxiety because she feels unprepared. These measures have been part of my process for winning back time and peace of mind.

With that in mind, it is going to be a school long objective to work on organization skills with my students. In particular, I have two sections of remedial sophomore English classes. A good percentage of these students have IEPS or other individualized plans to help them be successful in their high school classes. It is not uncommon to see a personalized modification that revolves around breaking down big concepts and keeping them on task. For this reason, we’ve established a routine of taking out binders/notebooks at the start of every class period. They need reminders, but it is with the purpose of establishing healthy and productive habits that they can carry with them for a lifetime.

9-19-21

“Love May Know No Bounds, But a Teacher Better Set Some”

The financial wizard Warren Buffet has been quoted, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything." While there’s probably a bit of overstatement to Buffet’s claim, one can’t deny that from an “American Dream” point of view that he is considered a success. Thus, there must be some truth behind his words which reinforce the Module 3 concept of boundary-setting. With the rise of technology, be it e-mail or Google classroom, students have greater accessibility to their teachers. In fact, everyone has greater accessibility to teachers. Compounded by the fact that part of last year was taught remotely, the boundaries of the school day almost ceased to exist. Fortunately, the summer has been a quiet time to turn away from professional demands, but with the new school year upon us, I feel it is going to be important to counter the feeling of always being tied to work. For this reason, boundary-setting is going to be a priority for me. My first concern is to establish that I will not be addressing professional inquiries/issues on weekends or days off. Of course, this will be somewhat of a test at the start of the school year because I’m also conscious of the anxiety that arises when my inbox fills up with issues that need attention. But branching off of the time-management piece of the puzzle, I hope to create effective solutions in my approach to time and boundaries.

When I started my career as a teacher, I recall a colleague noting that teaching is a twelve month job condensed down to ten months. Thus, the school day doesn’t truly end with the last bell. There is much to get done between planning, grading, and tending to all of the extra aspects of teaching. Even as a veteran teacher, it is virtually impossible to complete all of my professional needs during school hours. In fact, the demands of being a school teacher may feel endless at times. This is why it is so important to set boundaries. Granted, when you have children of your own, as I do, priorities tend to shift. But, even so, most caring teachers yearn to give 110% to their schools and students. The phrase that comes to mind when that happens is “slave to your work.” This is a recipe for stress and potential unhappiness, so it becomes incumbent upon teachers to set boundaries and strike a balance between personal and professional life. This school year, I feel I’ve done a nice job of making my nights and weekends sacred. I use my time at school effectively and efficiently, shying away from distractions that keep me from being as productive as possible during school hours. I have even established practices with classes that have helped in this regard. For instance, I have designated Friday as an independent reading day for my basic skills classes. While this is productive for them because it creates an environment that they can do sustained reading of literature that they choose, it also affords me time to catch up on grading and plan for the following week (which would otherwise be happening during my weekend). The items that I am not able to get to during the school day are addressed during my time at home, but I believe that I am approaching it in a more thoughtful way. On weekend mornings, I’ve been waking up early as my body adjusts to my 5:30 wakeup routine during the week. So when I’m up for an hour before the rest of the house, I can attack the items that I didn’t get to during the week. Needless to say, my approach this year has left me feeling a better sense of control over my professional duties.

9-22-21

“Shake It Off”

Several years ago the topic du jour in school districts across the country was resilience or grit. This was pre-pandemic. As a concept, it hasn’t gotten the same attention as of late, but that does not undercut the importance of resilience and the tools we need to develop in order to persevere. As noted in Module 3, a growth mindset plus stamina equals achievement. As part of my journey to better living, particularly during the stressful pandemic, I have landed on, and dedicated myself to, several areas which follow:

Developing habits of self care and compassion for others

As we went into lockdown and found ourselves somewhat trapped in our homes, particularly during the fall and winter, it was easy to lose the habits of self-care that had been so natural in our daily lives. I have consciously made an effort to develop better habits of self care since taking this course. Namely, my diet and sleep have been areas of focus. My daily diet looks something like:

-Greek yogurt with granola and fresh berries for breakfast

-A greens, apple, avocado, grilled chicken and blue cheese salad for lunch

-Apple slices, banana, flavored almonds, and/or pretzel & hummus for an afternoon snack

-Dinner varies, but is typically home-cooked and avoids red meat

Prior to this conscious change, I had no real dietary routine and I recognized the impact it was having on me physically and mentally. I was leaning hard into sugar and caffeine; beyond the damage it was doing to my body, it was adversely affecting my sleep habits. Now, however, committed to taking better care of myself, I am cognizant of the synergistic benefits of self-care, especially when times are tough.

Another area of focus, and one often taken for granted in our well-being, is the power of authentic socializing with others. While I was lucky to have a full house made up of my fiancee and our three kids which helped me not feel starved for close, authentic social interaction, I still was not feeling completely edified. Making sure to nurture my relationships, especially with students and colleagues, brings a greater sense of gratification from meaningful interaction. For instance, last school year, I noticed that one aspect of my school day that was glaringly absent was laughter. Whether it stems from banter with colleagues or the shenanigans that carry on with a loose and happy classroom of students, last year punctuated how important laughter is on the psyche. In fact, a line from one of my favorite novels, Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, emphasizes the deep importance of laughter when the protagonist, McMurphy, remarks, “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.” While social distancing may have made us inclined to shrink away from people, so much has been lost by cocooning ourselves. A tremendous part of our mental health is the release we get when laughing. I have reinvested in that and it has led to the next area of well-being and resilience:

Building a network of positivity

As an extension of that investment into relationships is the support system of those who help to buoy me. While we know that misery often loves company, we should also recognize that happiness is augmented through company as well. One of the better pieces of wisdom that I ever found from a fortune cookie fortune was “Joy shared is doubled; grief shared is halved.” (Does one need to create an APA citation for fortune cookies? Ha!) We certainly are better off building a mindset of positivity. It can be infectious. And although as the school year neared I was having grim thoughts about what was in store for us, my network of people which includes friends, colleagues, and even students have helped me navigate to a place of harmony. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and our brains can be unkind and counterproductive. And sometimes we lose our way which also takes a toll on our sense of being. That’s why anyone will be better off:

Finding Purpose

Yesterday, I was catching up with my best friend from childhood. I asked how his mother was doing since she retired three years ago from her position as an anesthesiologist. My friend’s response was, “She’s deteriorating.” Granted, this is a woman in her 70s, and time can be cruel. (My fiancee told me last night that she saw a shirt for sale online that said, “My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting.”) But the real point of my friend’s words is that once she lost her daily purpose of getting up at 5:30 and doing meaningful work, she became aimless and lost the person that she had been for most of her lifetime.

Finding purpose is an important element to the senior curriculum I teach as the literature we read in my ELA class forces us to confront the universal themes of purpose and identity. So much of self-understanding and drive derives from the things that we do.

Perhaps the best figure to explore the value of purpose is the mythological figure of Sisyphus. You may know him as the guy who rolls the rock up the hill. That’s his identity, because that’s what he does. He is suffering eternal punishment for angering the gods, and they have determined that there is nothing worse than this act of futility. When Sisyphus completes his task and gets the rock to the top of the mountain, it just rolls back to the other side and he has to collect the rock again and repeat. Ad nauseum. However, the French absurdist writer Albert Camus examines Sisyphus as a representation of the everyman. We all roll our metaphorical rocks only to watch those acts be undone. We make our beds in the morning. Wash our dishes. Mow the lawn. Go to work. Day after day after day. And ultimately, we suffer for no greater good. However, Camus acknowledges that Sisyphus overcomes his torment if he has his own purpose to the seemingly futile act. When he steps up to the rock with his own personal motivation, or purpose, then it’s not a punishment. That’s the value of purpose.

Fortunately, the profession of education naturally provides purpose as we invest in our students. And beyond that, I have invested in music and relationships. These areas of my life have certainly been instrumental in creating a sense of direction and happiness.

Finally, I believe in:

Continuing to learn, experiment, and grow

Recently, a colleague noted how much she loved being a student and learning. She pointed out that if she could be a student for the rest of her life, she would do it in a heartbeat. I feel somewhat similar. And one of the best aspects of being in the world of education is that I’m consistently being exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking that have satisfied an aspect of my personality that yearns for knowledge.

When the world came to a screeching halt in the spring of 2020, eager to quench my desire to improve my knowledge and skills, I found just what I was looking for online. After some searches for guitar instruction on the internet, I stumbled upon a fellow with a channel on youtube that has been somewhat life-changing. His avuncular disposition and clear explanation of guitar theory has helped me to become a better guitarist and feel a newfound confidence in my playing. Upon reflection, I’m happy that I dedicated myself to improving my skills because it has paid great dividends and underscores the value of knowledge, experimentation and growth.

I feel lucky that a few of the ideas noted above are organically interwoven into the life of an English literature teacher.

9-26-21

“The smell of gratitude” - Sensory Awareness, Attitude and Thankfulness

Yesterday, I stepped outside in the morning and immediately recognized that it was a glorious day. An early morning autumn chill was in the air (my favorite time of year), and the sun dappled the earth through its magnificent golden rays. Shortly after breakfast, the family hopped in the car and headed north to Warwick, NY. When we reached our destination, my fiancee and the kids hopped out and spent an hour on an alpaca farm while I drove into Sugar Loaf, the neighboring hippie town. There, I walked along the main drag in the middle of town and basked in the sunshine between dropping into the different stores. After picking the family up, we drove back into town and had a delicious lunch before heading home mostly along back roads that traced the shore of a lake that crosses the boundary between NY and NJ. It was sensational; the only thing that could have made it better is if the foliage had started to turn.

Days and moments experienced, like yesterday’s outing, force me to return to the lyrics of Neil Peart whose words echo from his band, Rush’s, wonderful song “Time Stand Still”:

Freeze this moment

A little bit longer

Make each sensation

A little bit stronger

Experience slips away...

Time stand still

Of course, time doesn’t stand still, so it becomes necessary for us to savor the big and little moments of our lives. Akin to the Scottish poet Robert Burns’ remark in his poem, “To a Mouse”:

I backward cast my e’e,

On prospects drear!

An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

I guess an’ fear!

We are so busy worrying about our past and futures that we forget to live in the present. With this in mind, I’ve been practicing the art of savoring. Right now, as I write, there is the wonderful aroma of pumpkin muffins in the air. This morning, I relished the hot water pouring down when I took a shower. And even though I’m allergic to animals, I still felt and savored the buttery softness of the teddy bears made with alpaca fur that the kids got when they were at the farm.

There are many areas of our lives to be more present and “tune into” in order to achieve a deeper appreciation for the present moment and increase our happiness and well-being. And, following the advice from the Harmony course to spend time in nature, I find this to be the best time of year to do such a thing. Thus, I have been spending extra time outdoors, smelling the autumnal air and savoring the beauty of the natural world. Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of teaching Romantic writers whose ideology turned away from the harsh, cold logic of the Age of Reason and towards the wonders of the natural world and the emotions of humankind. Several poems I teach underscore the value of nature; perhaps no poet celebrates the natural world more than William Wordsworth. He characterizes the peace found in nature when he says in “Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey:

how oft—

In darkness and amid the many shapes

Of joyless daylight; when the fretful stir

Unprofitable, and the fever of the world,

Have hung upon the beatings of my heart—

How oft, in spirit, have I turned to thee,

O sylvan Wye! thou wanderer thro' the woods,

How often has my spirit turned to thee!

I, too, have looked to nature, both literally and figuratively, to counterbalance the “fever of the world.” I will continue to do so, especially on these glorious autumn days. And in times when I cannot be out in nature, my spirit can still turn to it and find some internal peace with recollections of how sublime Mother Nature can be.

9-29-21

Crisis - “A season to build resiliency”

The subheading to this journal entry comes from an Edutopia article written by Jessica Cabeen, “How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions.” It’s certainly an optimistic mindset in relation to times of struggle or outright crises. Entering my seventeenth year in education, I could never have predicted what the state of education was going to be over the past few years if I had never lived it. If we are to understand “crises” as events that cause us to change our routines and threaten our safety, the pandemic certainly fits the bill.

I’ve had a few other crises since becoming a teacher. The most recent one was a crisis wrought and then averted by Mother Nature right as this school year was beginning. When Hurricane Ida swept up the eastern coast of the US, those of us in the metropolitan area had no real warning about the amount of water that the storm was going to dump on us. At around 8:30 pm, I went into my basement to see streams of water pouring through the basement walls soaking the basement floor as the sump pump struggled to keep up with the quickly rising water table. Ten years prior, I had a similar experience with Hurricane Irene. (It dawns on me now that I must really take note when a Hurricane named after the letter I bears down on me that I need to be alert.) The morning after Irene, I woke up to the items in my basement floating around like they were in a bathtub. With Ida, I made a mad dash to remove the items from the basement that I could and tried to shift my thinking of helplessness to acceptance.

You can’t fight Mother Nature. Thus, I took solace in knowing that I salvaged the things that I could and to not fret about the things that I couldn’t control. This is perhaps a difficult thing to do, especially in a situation like this as we are naturally conditioned to protect our abodes. But the mindset is vital part of our wellbeing. One of the moments from the course on Harmony that really resonated with me was the transference of anxious energy into positive energy. Rather than feel confined by the heightened energy of anxiety, simply telling yourself “I’m excited” can have a real positive effect. Certainly, saying “I’m excited” about a hurricane is a ludicrous connection, but attempts to assuage the mind can bear fruit. In the middle of the madness as Ida was wreaking havoc across NJ, I made a conscious attempt to soothe myself and accept what the fallout was going to be.

From there we are able to learn and grow, and our resilience is definitely tested. Although we may struggle and even suffer, we have the opportunity to learn and grow from our experiences. Additionally, when we go through our own trials, we become empathetic.

Given the extreme negative impacts that trauma can have on individuals, especially young people, crises take on a more serious consideration because it’s not just the present crisis that needs attention; the ramifications for the long-term also need to be addressed. Sometimes checking in is an important step to help others. For that reason, I spent a couple of class periods talking candidly with my students about their feelings regarding the pandemic. Not only was it eye-opening, it was also greatly appreciated by my students. Quite a few students remarked that none of their teachers bothered to check in with them. They carried on with business as usual, even though the students had bigger things on their minds than math or chemistry or history. Since then, and with the endorsement of the Harmony course, I have made it a priority to emphasize and invest in the human connection with my students and the other people in my orbit.

Although the course emphasized a distinction in the connotations of balance and harmony, I do believe that a conscious balancing of different aspects of my routines and choices has led to a more harmonious life. The school year is off to a great start...a better start than I had hoped. And, ultimately, I feel a stronger sense of well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Cited Sources:

Burns, Robert. “To a Mouse.” Poets.org, https://poets.org/poem/mouse.

Cabeen, J., 2021. How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions. [online] Edutopia. Available at:

<https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-school-leaders-can-frame-tough-decisions> [Accessed 29

September 2021].

Gilbert, D. (2021). Stumbling on Happiness: Think You Know What Makes You Happy?

Alfred A. Knopf.

Kesey, K. (1672). Ken Kesey: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Mass Market

Paperback); 1989 Edition. Ken Kesey.

Rush. “Time Stand Still.” Peter Collins, The Manor, Oxfordshire, 1987.

Santos, L. (2020, December 22). Laurie Santos, Yale Happiness Professor, on 5 things that will

make you happier. Newsweek. Retrieved September 16, 2021, from

https://www.newsweek.com/2021/01/08/laurie-santos-yale-happiness-professor-5-thing

-that-will-make-you-happier-1556182.html.

Wordsworth, William. “Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the

Banks of the Wye During a Tour, July 13, 1798.” Poets.org,

https://poets.org/poem/lines-composed-few-miles-above-tintern-abbey-revisiting-banks-

wye-during-tour-july-13-1798.

#balanceandharmony

1 note · View note