#every single meme post I ever make will probably include a reference to the never-ending beef between barou and nagi

[bachirasbodyguard]

clowning on blue lock characters thru posts: day II - electric boogaloo

(part I / part III)

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons

Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program. 

intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her 

no romance… just uwu

bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)

Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post) 

bonus character: Luke :3c

I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK

Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened. 

"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.

"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.

A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)

--

Lucifer

disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest

probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers 

however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after

...actually adores her and her son

accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger

doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him

the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love

is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant

finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc) 

“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?”

“................”

ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so

(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf) 

eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC

Mammon

he's crying 

he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC

similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it

ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!

Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon

Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom” 

But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong 

Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him

feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl

she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand

when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son 

on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!

surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic

takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible

not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo

Leviathan

Honestly doesn’t know how to to react 

A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything??? 

When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?

No, and now he’s crying 

And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---

Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL

Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest 

Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child

Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB

Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him

Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten

Satan

Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child

Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her

There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC

Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)

isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do

has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child

often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded 

always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes 

always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to

"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"

"I like the color blue."

"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."

the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer 

"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all

"See? He agrees with me!”

And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug

Asmodeus

similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming

she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"

the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her

loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee

when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram

pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom

which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him

When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo

actually very attentive to the child!!

Beelzebub

Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner 

I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods

When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more 

Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time 

After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways

MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister

With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm

Both of them is Beel 

carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)

main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head

wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps

Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously 

Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good

Belphegor

Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic

He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj

Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her 

Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it

He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)

Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing 

In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why 

Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat

Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?

Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together

Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do

Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first) 

Bonus:

Luke

MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son

Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer

Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol

Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh 

Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye 

Baking together is such a family bonding moment

Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways) 

Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted

(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)

[its5amandimbored]

Part two of my fowl twins memes/review/reaction Ok so I reread all the artemis fowl books and made memes on them which you can find down here (I'll be keeping the fowl twins stuff in there too, just to keep everything together)

Artemis fowl memes

I basically decided to blindly read the fowl twins and react to it and talk about while also sprinkling in some memes

Find the first part here

Previous

Also you probably shouldn't see this until you've read the book or be prepared for spoilers. Fair warning.

I will say I think myles is much more immature then artemis. He's trying way to hard to be "adult" and that's a very childish trait. Artemis was like that due to trauma. He was forced as a child to refer to his dad as "father" and be professional, even setting up appointments via email to see his father and have "buisness meetings" when he was 10. He had to greet his father with a formal, firm handshake. And he wore a suit after his father was proclaimed missing assumed dead, due to the trauma of loosing his father and having been brainwashed by his father that he was to be the "man of the house" and take charge and be in control of the finances and the manor. He stole the lemur and even kidnapped holly due to the last words his father ever told him was talking about how he had to save the family and make sure they're money didn't go. He had to watch his family's money go down until they didn't even have enough to pay for any staff including butler (which by the way it is mentioned butler continues to be with artemis without pay for a bit and I'm telling you he doesn't see that as a job. He was going to take care of that child money or no money) and watch his mother go into insanity along with deal with his father being probably dead. That stuff changed him. He was always a genius but his childhood how he was raised and what happened is what made him into the suit wearing, mature, almost adult like, person we see in the books. He was forced to grow up. He doesnt act like this because he doesn't want to be childish hell we even see him in the 6th book wishing he could've had a normal childhood and had, had the chance to be childish.

But myles wears a suit just to copy his brother and disregards childish things just because. There's really no reason other then he believes genius=adult. He seems very immature and very childish. This is one of the reasons I wanted to see artemis in the books. Wouldn't it be fascinating to see him talk to his brother in the second or third book and explain to him why what he was doing was childish. And why myles had to learn to grow up and embrace who he is and what he likes instead of just acting like what he thought was the "proper adult" myles even tries to be someone he's not. He makes the comment that he shouldn't be so "dramatic" because it's the "enemy of science" but that's part of who he is. Even artemis never denied that part of himself. He was a dramatic little shit and not only aknowleded it several times but truly loved that part of himself. Because artemis was never trying to be an adult or mature he just was like that due to his life. I'd love to see artemis and myles talk and see this interaction but I guess we won't. Still salty about that.

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Teddy when seeing a whole ass island straight up disappearing:

Like he was way to nonchalant about this

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I just find it cute that artemis was like "sure y'all can just fly around my house and train :)" the lep are like "we create zones far away from human civilization where fairies can we can train and fly around. Oh and there's one by the house of the guy who kidnapped one of us. Yea he caused some chaos in our life for a few years and anytime the end of the world was happening it was safe to assume he was somewhere nearby and yea we had no problems until he came and caused all the problems but he also like saved us a bunch of time so we're good now. We spy on him, he spies on us. he uses our technology, we train around his house. He's our bud." Like you guys have a very weird relationship

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Ok. So I've just been introduced to our magical main character... And it's a hybrid (very interesting. I did wonder while reading the original if they were ever going to address like fairies and pixies or something coming together to have a baby because I mean you can't tell me that never happened. So I'm glad they're actually addressing that here and giving some information on it) named lazuli. And she's blue. A blue skinned girl who can fly named lazuli... I'm just going to tell you guys right now all I'm gonna see in my head every single time I imagine this character is

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I'm really glad they're going over the different perspectives on artemis fowl. Like some people would trust him like he has saved countless lives due to his quick thinking and did become a good guy by the end and has helped fairies more then hurt them and even sacrificed himself for them. But some people wouldn't. At the end of the day he did kidnap a fairy, steal fairy technology which then got stolen by a horrible person who could've destroyed fairy civilization, manipulate and trick his way into getting a copy of their sacred book and put them in danger multiple times. I've seen a post talking about how fairies would view artemis after the series that I really liked over here plus some amazing art on it over here

Definitely give those a look but this reminded me of those

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Myles is such a little shit and I love it. This is definitely the type of prank artemis fowl's little brother would play. Also would love to imagine one day artemis if in space and realizes what his code means and realizes what myles did and just in the middle of space butler can see his face go like

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I will say I didn't like that they kind of dumbed up beckett. Like I thought he was going to be like butler or mulch, like not the smartest person In the room (to be fair the other ones in the room are foaly, artemis and myles. All certified geniuses) but still really smart and clever and able to keep up and think of their own plans. Like this is the kid who at 4 years old tricked his genius twin brother into giving him the code to open Artemis' room and sneak around. The kid who again at four years old was able to listen to butler, learn a move and perfect it to use his body's momentum to stun opal even if it was only temporarily. Like he was a clever and smart kid at 4 and for the most part able to keep up with his twin brother. His personality and interests may haven been very different and he may not have been a genius but that wasn't to say he was dumb either. He also doesn't even act or sound like an 11 year old. I've dealt with a lot of kids and beckett is behaving more like a 5 year old. I understand him not acting like artemis who was forced to grow up and mature, or myles whos trying really hard to act grown up and is very intelligent, but I was expecting a clever 11 year old, not a cosmo from fairly odd parents type of character. I'm still in the first few chapters so maybe we'll see him shine later but so far I'd like to see more of beckett's intelligence.

Next

[gukyi]

if i told you (post-script) | jjk

summary: now that you and jungkook are together, all you have left to worry about are your finals. and while finals have never been merciful, at least you always have jungkook to lift you up. 

{established relationship!au, college!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff word count: 1k warnings: finals week *mr krabs meme* a/n: thank you to @cherryjiminiee​ for commissioning me for this drabble and for donating to the #blacklivesmatter movement !!! still wishing that this fic was my life.

Jeon Jungkook finishes his very last computer science final on the second-to-last day of the spring semester. 

You know this mostly because he had been complaining about having to take it for the week prior to the actual exam, dragging you out to the always-open library on campus to study at three in the morning when neither of you can sleep. You also know this because Jeon Jungkook calls you the moment he leaves the auditorium where he was taking it, and you are already well aware of what he’s going to ask of you when you pick up. 

“How’d it go?” You respond, shutting your laptop and hopping off your bed. 

“It wasn’t a total disaster,” Jungkook says, always looking on the bright side. “But… it wasn’t great.”

“There’ll probably be a curve,” you assure him. Computer science classes have never had a good track record of being easy or yielding independently high grades. 

“There better be,” he huffs. “I need at least a B in this class to keep my GPA.”

“If you totally fail, you know you can always go back to being a rent-a-boyfriend,” you tease. Not that Jungkook would ever consider doing that again, even if the pay was good and he reaped massive benefits, like free food and clothes. Your phone is squished between your ear and your shoulder as you shove your feet into your sneakers and grab your backpack. 

“Hey, you get me for free, so keep your mouth shut,” Jungkook counters, a giggle bubbling out of your mouth in return. “Anyway, come over? We can watch Studio Ghibli and eat kettle corn.”

“I’m already on my way.”

When you speed walk, you can make it to Jungkook’s apartment in seven minutes, including the time that you have to wait crossing a major roadway with traffic lights that take forever to change. You get there in eight and a half because you’re distracted by a club selling roses to commemorate the end of the semester, picking one up on your way. 

You knock on the door once before it opens to reveal none other than Jungkook, who looks every bit the beat-up-by-finals-week college student he is, under-eye bags down to his knees and a ratty old t-shirt with tomato sauce stains all over it. But he’s smiling, and his tired eyes light up when they see you, and he’s perfect. 

“I brought you something,” you say cheerfully, whipping out the rose you had been hiding behind your back. “Yoga club was selling them along the walk.”

Jungkook’s eyes scrunch up when they see the flower in your hands. He takes it between his fingers, and in one fell swoop breaks off most of the stem, so that only an inch or two remain. Gently, he places it above your ear, turning it until it’s just right, before beaming. “Beautiful,” he says. 

“So, you got Kiki’s Delivery Service lined up or what?” You ask, barging into his apartment, feeling the soft petals of the rose rest softly against your ear as you walk towards his bedroom. Jungkook doesn’t believe in televisions since they apparently have an uncanny resemblance to microwaves (as if his laptop doesn’t) and because he watches everything on his computer anyway. Besides, a bed is much more suitable for cuddling than a couch is. 

“What? I was thinking we’d start with Spirited Away,” Jungkook says, jogging lightly to catch up to you. When you reach his bedroom, you notice a hoodie of yours lying on top of his comforter, clearly having just been worn. 

You love his bedroom. Not in the sexy kind of way, because there’s this one part of Jungkook’s bed that feels inexplicably like cement, but in the way it feels like it envelops you, surrounds you with everything Jungkook is, everything that makes Jungkook Jungkook. There are framed vinyl covers on the wall of his favorite old bands, a couple pieces of workout gear in the corner. His closet is open because he does not fear demons popping out to get him in the night, and it’s filled with worn flannels and baggy black pants, perhaps a university hoodie or two. The tiny bookshelf in the corner holds all of his used textbooks, post-its and markers sticking out of the top if he ever needs to go back and reference something. It smells like him, woody and boyish and warm, like home. 

It feels like a constant hug from him. 

Avoiding the cement part of his mattress, you quickly settle down on top of the comforter, demanding he grab a blanket and join you. Jungkook does so with ease, making sure to take his laptop with him, as he curls up next to you with a fleece blanket covering your bodies. Knowing the two of you, and knowing that it’s May, you’ll almost definitely abandon the blanket five minutes in, but the feeling is comforting nonetheless. 

Jungkook puts on Kiki’s Delivery Service because you always wear him down, and you pay attention for the first ten minutes before Jungkook decides that resting it on his lap is annoying, and he would rather let it play in the background as you wrap yourselves around each other. 

“How did your finals go?” He murmurs into your hair. 

“They were alright,” you say back, head resting on his chest. “I totally crushed my sociology final, but I’m a little nervous about my political science one. It was just one giant essay for three hours. I filled up two blue books.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Jungkook asks. 

“It’s not if my point got lost in all of the words,” you say with a sigh. That’s the danger with essay exams. You can only bullshit part of the way. 

“You have nothing to worry about,” Jungkook assures you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sure you did wonderfully.”

“You’re just saying that,” you tease.

“Because I know it,” Jungkook says fondly. “You’re my smart-as-hell girlfriend, of course you kicked ass.”

You grin. Jungkook always knows exactly what to say. “How’d yours go, then?” You ask him. You may have had essays to write, but computer science is on another level of college hell. At least, that’s what Jungkook says. 

“I’m banking on the curve for all of my classes, but I’ve done alright so far this year,” Jungkook tells you. 

“Couldn’t have been as bad as the midterm, right?”

“Oh my God, that midterm ruined my goddamn life. The average for it was a 37. A thirty-seven! That’s like, just over a third of the questions correct. How can professors make tests knowing that it’s impossible to get every single point. Don’t they want their students to succeed?”

“The great mystery of college,” you muse. “But you were above the curve, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, with my 46. Big whoop,” Jungkook huffs out. 

“Now who’s the one worrying for nothing?” You counter, reaching your head up so you can place a kiss on his cheeks. He blushes something fierce every time you do, you’ve noticed. Like he still can’t believe you’d ever want to kiss him. The jokes on him, though, because now that you’ve gotten a taste, you’ll never want to stop. “My genius, future tech CEO boyfriend. I’ll never have to work a day in my life so long as you’re around.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Jungkook says. “First I have to be employed.”

“The rent-a-boyfriend thing is still on the table,” you joke, making Jungkook shove your head away the next time you go in for a kiss. “Hey, don’t reject me! This could be a good business proposition for you. Oh my God, you could make an app with all of your computer science knowledge! Jeon Jungkook, your personal, moldable fake boyfriend.”

“You’re just gonna sell me out like this?” Jungkook asks, accosted. 

You grin. “Only because I know that at the end of every night, you’ll always be mine.”

“You’re cheesy,” Jungkook tells you (just in case you didn’t already know that), wrapping his hands around you and pulling you in for a kiss. 

“You love it when I’m cheesy,” you say back, grinning against his lips, because he does. “And even when I’m not, you love me then, too.”

“Hmm,” Jungkook says, pretending to think. While he does, you steal yourself another kiss, making his cheeks turn red again. “I guess I do. But only because you love me, too.”

The end of the semester brings both pain and relief, the joy of finishing another year, the despair of a finals week to accompany it. But you know that, no matter what time of year it is, no matter what day of the semester it is, whether it be the seventeenth, the ninety-eighth, or the second-to-last, you will always have Jungkook by your side, ready to take on the next.

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget i’m still taking commissions!

[cicaklah]

Fic writer meme

Nicked from @alienfuckeronmain

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 83 as of touched by the feasting tendrils of the night, my first mainline oxventure fic (which no one but me cares about)

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

372k (as of 10th August 2021)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

27 though there's a couple of multitags in there. 22 without.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

look what you made me do - So I'm good at writing fast and being new to fandoms. This paid off for me. I wrote this very quickly and it includes a lot of taylor swift references, including some very oblique ones that I'm pretty proud of. Also its got a great sex scene and some good OCs and the phrase goatus interruptus.

feel you from the inside - my first viral fic! AKA when do you guys do rec? Turns out Stormtroopers have orgies like workouts and superstitions about wanking and Poor Poe Dameron. Never saw it coming. Jas Queen - the sequel to lwymmd. There's so much in this story that I really love, I think the sex scene is one of my best, its symbolic, its funny, it has songs and puppetry and crossdressing! Catch me when I'm falling for you. - again, early to the fandom, reaps the reward. The perfect girlfriend is better, but this was me on a post-ghostbusters high writing science girlfriends

vestis virum facit - this is a reverse striptease/clothing porn/cockblocking geralt for fun and kudoes fic.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Probably 99% of them. Only really don't answer ones that are "thanks for sharing" on very old stories.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Lolololol consent to be wrecked. I genuinely thought I'd write a sequel after the last Jedi came out so I purposely didn't give them a happy ending. Absolute lols. I also thought I'd be a bnf off the back of it. the amount of humble pie I ate in the aftermath of that story would give me diabetes if it was real. I needed it though, the experience.

However, if there is love at the end of everything is a twilight zone style story, it has the most "bad ending" of all my fics.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The schmoopiest ending is definitely the rose of terok nor, I kind of almost hate it but it is the point that they have a romance novel ending. Honourable mention to go let the stars watch let them stare...the happy ending is a single line but fuck did I work so hard for it.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I've written and published two crossovers but I don't think either are crazy really. I wrote never noticed the rain, an X men/Hannibal fusion, and a dS/bsg fusion/crossover called the poets let a generation down that I think everyone in latter-day dS fandom has to write. I wrote a lot of weird ones in my nsfw Fridays days, and I wrote two raffles/star wars crossovers interesting basically just me and one other person. Oh and I have an outline for a Hitman/Bloodborne fic I will never write even though I really, really want to.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I was the target of dsanon like everyone in latter day ds fandom, and once a peer in swtfa fandom said that one of my stories was rapey (it was not ctbw) and I'm STILL furious about it. Also back in my ff.net trigun days someone said I was "waisting my talent" and I was sad for ages.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

lolololol. I used to exclusively write slash smut, then I moved to femslash smut, now I write 75% het smut. honestly I wonder what happened to me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Mostly femslash stories into Chinese, Russian and Thai.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I don't even have a beta. I've discussed it a couple of times but honestly it feels too much like work.

14) What's your all time favourite ship?

Raffles and Bunny, probably. Obviously 47 and Diana are my current otp, (we will always have Mendoza and the launch trailer even if we don't have the lust dlc) and I have other fandoms and I'll always love most of the pairings I've written (sit down johnlock). That said, I think only Raffles and Bunny still give me the fluttery feeling in my chest with how hard I ship them, 12 years since I first read the first pages of the ides of march and lost my mind.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Pioneer au. The last Jedi killed off everything good about star wars, but this was going to be SO iddy and SO brilliant and I'm still SO keen to write it. I might file the serial numbers off it and make it an original story...but its such a star wars story, its such a classic fic, I think it'd just feel like a fic with the names changed. plus, the twist won't work...god fucking damn it Kyle Ron. I'll never get over the loss of that fandom.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Character studies, smut, character studies through smut. Cadence and rhythm of prose. Dumb sex farces.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue, pacing, plot, OCs. They're improving though.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?   I think there's only one fic where there's another language that's a plot point, which is in blow a kiss fire a gun, which no one has ever told me was wrong, unlike every single time I try and use Latin for fic titles. I once got Latin so wrong I got so immediately called out for it I ended up using the translation in the gibberish of chapter three of consent to be wrecked.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?  Trigun. Well, technically the X files, but I never posted it. Trigun was my first fandom, I was 13, I wrote smut. It is still floating around on the internet and I'm not linking it. You're welcome.

20) What's your favourite fic you've written?

I have a list on my ao3 profile of my faves but it needs updating, but number one probably has to be even steak don't cry. Second place is the rose of terok nor...2019 was a good year for my fic writing. Shout out also to the currently unpublished final part of watch me (its coming!) which I have reread and redrafted so many times and love so much.

I'd love to read other people's, so if you want to, give it a gooooo.

[alexseanchai]

Fanfic 2020 in Review

I got tagged by @kasienda @noirshitsuji and @marvelousmsmol and I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

*filters own works to complete and updated in 2020*

1 - 20 of 57 Works by AlexSeanchai

nope. *adds filter to include only works of at least 1000 words*

unless otherwise indicated, these are all Miraculous Ladybug:

“don’t bake it lying down”, post-reveal Marichat vs Felix Graham de Vanily

“veracity”, canon divergence from “Ladybug” featuring Mister Bug and Verity Queen (so also Marichat, I guess)

“(no request is too extreme, if) your heart is in your dream”, in which Hawkmoth wins, for the thirty seconds or so before Emilie saves Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives

“tell me you love me and make me believe it”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire ropes Ladybug into helping plan her civilian self’s escape slash social transition

“kingmaker, oathbreaker”, in which Hawkmoth wins and Emilie watches her son remove himself from the family

“stay and let me watch you break it down” (Twelve Dancing Princesses), a modern setting

“set a course for winds of fortune”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire has already escaped and Gabriel and Nathalie are trying to bring Gabriel’s son home

“we ground love in a hopeless place”, in which post-reveal Marinette’s attempt to remain resolutely not in love with her partner dissolves like sugar in coffee when they start a pun war

“ring the bells that still can ring”, in which Alya is deeply confused about why Adrien and Marinette are planning a wedding when last night both were single

“burning wishes at both ends (the cold wind and long loud wail remix)”, in which Gabriel made a monkey’s paw wish and Emilie makes another

“words cannot espresso”, in which Marinette’s OC roommate is justifiably worried for Marinette’s safety, and meanwhile Adrien takes care of Marinette

“the compromise of truth” (the chronologically second-earliest part posted to date of nine lives, snake’s eyes), in which Adrien tells his friends how he won some freedom and respect from his father

“At The Present Time”, the Ladrien/Ladynoir marriage proposal follow-up to @art-deco-shrimp‘s  “Your Presents Required”

“j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”, in which the events of canon must just have been a series of dream sequences, Marinette and Adrien both think, until they both arrive at Chloe’s Halloween masquerade dressed as themselves from the dreams

2) Number of words written:

ahahaha no. I am not counting all my scattered fic drafts and trying to figure out what I did and didn’t write in 2020. I refuse.

AO3 says I posted 162K in 2020. it is counting all of keeps you guessing (like any real love), which (a) I started posting in 2019 (b) is co-written by @galahadwilder​; it is counting all of my meta snippets collection, much of which was written in 2019; it is counting the Vimeo passwords for my vids. but I probably cleared 150K by a safe margin.

3) Your most popular fic:

“veracity” has a four-digit kudos count, wow, when’d that happen? this is also the 2020 work with the most hits and the most bookmarks, but “tell me you love me” has four-thirds as many comments as its nearest competitor.

4) Your personal fav:

“cannot break us, not with a thousand swords”, no question about it. this is the one in which Ladybug proposes marriage to Chat Noir via Princess Bride meme on Tumblr. (if you intend to download the work or otherwise to consume it with creator style off, you want the accessible version instead of the primary version.)

5) Your fav scene:

aaaaaaaaa

—okay so this is cheating and I know it, since Uncertain Humors (the one where Marinette/Adrien is both Orpheus/Eurydice and Theseus/Ariadne) is nowhere near finished, never mind posted (maybe I'll get “Sanguine” done to post on my birthday?)

but it is still my favorite of the year. as you might guess from that description of the story, this scene has content notes for character death:

Hell is a maze. Marinette walks.

This acrid passage has little to see but damp stone, seeming blood-stained in the dim carmine light. At about the height of her heart, the faintly glowing thread cuts through the not-clammy air; it ought to be pulsing at the same rate as the heart it's bound to. She might be able to see her own reflection if she looked down at the open sewage pipe, or at one of the puddles that now and again she splashes through, dampening the canvas of her shoes. She might see reflected what's behind her.

She remembers Mme. Mendeleiev lecturing on human physiology. In healthy humans old enough to have learned how, urination is a voluntary action: one may not know which muscles one tenses and relaxes in order to do so, and probably isn't paying attention to those details when one is doing, but one has conscious control over whether one does. Usually. Stress and anxiety mean some people are unable to relax the relevant sphincter muscle and others are unable to stop themselves. It's voluntary for cats, too: it's one way they mark their territories. Cat-boys have other ways.

There is a moment in every human life when all one's muscles relax at once. Some Parisians have had several such moments.

The thread is braided with itself around her left fourth finger, rows of tiny red half-hitch knots, and falls loosely over the back of her hand to loop twice around her wrist. She holds it wrapped between the fingers of her right hand to keep it at a constant tension, as though knitting with this insubstantial thread, so fragile for something two (two dozen, two million) lives hang from—too thin to sew with, no thicker than one strand of his hair. As she walks, she winds it around and around and around her wrist.

Between her ring finger and her right hand, it loops twice.

Marinette's shoe lands in a puddle she didn't see. The rainwater splashes soundlessly onto her bare ankle and on the stone.

(With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal— It's a very loud song.)

She walks on.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

where the firelight fades, no contest. this is the second story I’ve ever been able to stick with more than a couple hundred words past the 20K mark, but it’s easily the twentieth novel-length I’ve begun. (though also, you know that kedreeva post? well, 90K later, I’m less than 15K from completing this 10K fic! I think.) and I have been learning so much about long-form fiction.

there has also been a lot of weeping and tearing my hair. case in point: I just trashed the chapter 15 draft because I figured out the reason it wasn’t going anywhere! I can probably keep the first few hundred words of that draft without any editing, and another few hundred with some revision...

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

from “j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”:

Everything about their partnership is fragments of sentences in the dream diary Adrien writes in ultraviolet pen. Disjointed flickers of thought even when examined under the black light he hides in the snack cabinet under packets of Super Yoyo sandwich cookies and bags of cheesy Monster Munch potato chips and boxes of petit écolier butter cookies (chocolat noir)—none of which explains the gym-socks smell. All fleeting incoherent flashes, invisible between the mundane lines of La Modification shelved at his bedside between Leroux and Dumas. None of it is solid. Adrien has more proof his room's haunted.

okay let me break this down for you!

* Adrien started a dream diary to make sense of the memories

* in invisible ink, in a book that (according to Wikipedia) is thematically appropriate and won’t (if Gabriel sees it) look like anything other than Adrien developing an interest in French literature

* shelved between Phantom of the Opera and The Three Musketeers

* look I didn’t come up with the name “black light”

* or “chocolat noir” for what English speakers call “dark chocolate”, or “petit écolier” (that is, “little schoolboy”) for that sort of butter cookie

* also not my fault that “chocolat noir” sounds remarkably like “Chat Noir”, which, attentive readers may have noticed, is not a name that appears in the story after the header and before Miraculous Cure

* I found the website of a store in Boston, Massachusetts that caters to French expats, and the yo-yo cookies and the monster chips were right there in the photos, y’all

* the snack stash and the black light live in the cabinet where, in canon, the Camembert lives; yes, that cheese smells in the real world like gym socks

* this story’s akuma was not able to affect anything but squishy human memory: nobody affected remembers anything about Ladybug or Chat Noir or Hawkmoth, not in any solid way, not even when they read news articles about the subject, and this includes Marinette and Adrien not being able to see or hear or remember their own kwamis—but you know what Adrien’s Insta post about his poltergeist and Adrien’s Insta post with the floating sock don’t show and don’t explicitly refer to?

* I love this paragraph so much (my housemates may have been lovingly mocking me over it)

8) A comment that touched you:

there are people (y’all know who you are) who said y’all are studying my style. I ded of blush.

9) Something that inspired your writing:

by volume of fic drafts that can be blamed on any particular person, the winner is probably @norakwami​

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

so that longest-story-ever-written record I set in 2007 with the 89.5K story that, till where the firelight fades, was the only story I’d gotten much past 20K?

I broke that fucking record!

and then I deleted the draft of firelight chapter 15 😭

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I’m starting work on a fantasy novel, a Sleeping Beauty retelling in which I explore (among other things) the economic consequences of the king’s ordering all the spinning wheels burned, and I want to make significant progress on that. and I want to not make my hands any worse; I kind of need those!

(breaking news alert: bodies fucking suck. so does giving yourself repetitive stress injuries in doing one and a half to two people’s worth of work for an organization that was never ever going to pay you more than one person’s worth of pay.)

[youremyonlyhope]

Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that!  “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.”  The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!”  Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and  the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!”  The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.”  So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

[theoniprince]

If you had to pick one name/alias/moniker to go by, fandom-wide, what would it be?

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

First of all thank you so much for asking me!!! 8D It was a pleasure to answer all these questions. During this I got quite emotional (haha Stanpat, Eddie). It showed me again how much I love this 8DDD

( I apologize in advance for all misspellings and my sloppy English =_=)

If you had to pick one name/alias/moniker to go by, fandom-wide, what would it be?

Oh, what a start XD I'm not that into nicknames. Generally people using my first name to address me or my username which is mostly onyprince (in reference to a character from Hakuouki) ID Sometimes they say Oni or J(ay) (Nickname for my first name). Do as you wish (though I like ‘J’ the th most) 😉

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

Twitter. But everything I post there is also here. Feel free to follow my account, but you don’t have to. https://twitter.com/oniprince_

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

Oniprince_ (Twitter) yeah… you see, I am pretty boring XDDD

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

Actually 23 years ago (haha I am old XD) When I was eleven I saw the miniseries with my cousins for the first time. The horror factor wasn't that important to me or maybe I didn't see it that way. It was more like an adventure story with an unfunny and nasty clown. A group of friends who had to endure an adventure. In any case, it entertained me well, even if I was not aware of some elements like that it’s a story about growing up, friendship, love and all these issues around becoming an adult XDD Then with 13 I read the book. It was a  new experience, and I loved every single word. Over the years I talked with friends and Kingsianer (XD) about it and read it for a second and a third time. At this point I could start a list with things I don’t like about the movies, but I’d rather mention on thing I really appreciate about them: they are a good opportunity for a new generation to explore this universe. Every adaption like the book itself is a reflection of a specific decade and what is more yeah… immortal, universal and diverse than a story about growing up. It was a discussion with a dear friend about book to movie adaptions some weeks ago that probably brought me back to this fandom

Nevertheless there are things from the book I would have loved to see in the movies. Let’s be honest at this point if you want to adapt such a brick of a book you simply have to cut some elements. You can’t please everyone

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

Ships:

Stanpat - orz q__q they are such a sweet couple and it is so heartbreaking, they never ever had a real chance to become parents. They would have been excellent parents. Imagine them on a beautiful summer day. They have a picnic with their children and Stan would watch birds with them. He would tell them all about the birds and keeps a journal about their observations with his kids

Reddie - Despite the constant teasing their realtionship seems like a natural, casual und easy thing from the start. And Eddie likes the nicknames. These secret names are like another identity. He can be someone else. They take care of each other. Their relationship is a deeper friendship that runs mostly on an emotional level and is sometimes expressed through small, physical gestures. The chemistry between them is indescribable. It is cute when 90s Eddie immediately starts to giggle as soon as Richie makes a dumb joke at their reunion. And thing about the little moments when Richie pokes Eddie and calls him cute. I am won’t quoting this one passage in the book that leaves much room for speculations, but there is no doubt their special bond is official. In any case, the decision to make Richie gay in the movies gave the ship another push. I don’t complain. I love it. Though I still think Eddie would have been a better option. There are already some scenes in the book which are like an invitation to speculate about his sexualityTheir chemistry is very obvious and believe me, there is nothing I would more appreciate than a happy end for them Q__Q

Benverly  „Your hair is winter fire

                   January embers

                  My heart burns there, too

This is one of sweetest things I have ever read in a book and that is all I need to explain why I love this ship.

Fav, Characters:  Hmm when I read „IT“ for the first time I had a crush on Bill. He ist the born leader and in my childish, pre-teen way found his stuttering cute. There is something about him that cast a spell on you. It is perfectly understandable that he was a role model and an inspiration for his friends – especially for Eddie. In my personal opinion book!Bill ist the best Bill.

Richie - I love this chaotic megane dude. He is this silly type who use jokes, pranks to protect himself. His voices are like safe heaven (the same goes for Bill, whose stuttering almost disappears, when he pretends tob e someone else). He hides himself and his insecurities behind them. It is a shame that he doesn’t know what an impact he had on his friends. Richie seems to never ever shut up and sometimes his trashmouth is still talking, when he better should be quite. And I am famous to fall for funny characters. He can lights up the mood immediately ( and OMG…. I love Harry Anderson in the miniseries. A real entertainer, BUT BILL HADER…. Bill Hader…just to make it clear BILL HADER  did such an amazing job. He rocked the movie and I still think, not just because I love this dude since over a decade, without him… the movie wouldn’t  have been so entertaining)

Eddie - He is in these abusive relationships. First with his mother, who keeps him small and makes him believe that he is weak. At the end her own fears of beeing left behind prevented her son from becoming a self-confident adult. Eddie always thought he is weak and fragile. Although he knows that he doesn’t need all this medication, his childhood experience were the reason for his coping-behavior as an adult – he still uses his inhaler. He married a woman who is like his mother. Mike's call was something of a turning point. Until this call Eddie could not overcome his fears and had to face them again as an adult. I can remember. While reading the book there were several moments of silence and I stopped reading and thought: poor Eddie.

Ultimately, his story is about a hero who surpasses himself, overcomes his fears and by sacrifice himself he protects what is most important to him - his friends. It just touched me. Eddie gave his life for his friends and I think you can say he's my favorite character. His death may be a tragedy, but it was necessary for his character arc. My theory is that Eddie represents someone who has lost track in his life and prefer to stick on old but unhealthy patterns.It is almost like Eddie stands for missed opportunities, but at the same time it is never to late to change something. He is a hero. There are so many things I would like to talk about, therefore I should start an own thread XDDD

Oh and Bev - I could always identify with her (not bc of abuse or domestic violence. My childhood was amazing). She is the only girl around the losers and I was the only girl in my  favourite clique too. We spent most of our time outside  - it was great. Of course I had other friends (female) as well, but with my boys… it was always special).. As you know as an adult she falls back in old patterns. Her husband is tyrannical man like her father. Again Mike’s call is a turning point.  Maybe the Benverly arc is the most satisfying. I was… I am very happy that Bev got her happy end.

Last but no least - I like Ben, Mike and Stan too. They have all there unique character treats and you sympathize with all of them. The Loser’s club is bunch of adorable idiots who just doing their best to become adults. I think it is normal that their friendship feels more intimate in the book – I highly recommand the book.

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Mostly fanarts, but recently I thought about posting my own theories and sharing my hcs and random stuff about the characters and the different relations.  

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

The fandom is full of amazing artists and writersand actually it would be a, but i want to name those who inspired me the most (mainly artists – hopefully I copied the links correcty):

https://tonyofthetrees.tumblr.com

https://meowsteryyy.tumblr.com

https://slashpalooza.tumblr.com/ ( you have to check out ‚Loose Ends‘)

https://coldcigarettes.tumblr.com

https://vvanini.tumblr.com/

https://eggocrumbs.tumblr.com

https://twitter.com/10_sgan

https://twitter.com/kasphacked

https://twitter.com/tac_nor

(oh.. the list got longer than expected IDDD)

Do you know this?

https://ragnarozzys.tumblr.com/post/189890790551/those-early-hours-after-a-sleepover-when-you-wake

Have you ever seen something as cozy and cute before I///D? – me neither XD

Trust me they are all worth a visit and I am sure most of us already know them 8D

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

My art I provide on tumblr can be found here:

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/tagged/myart

Honestly I like these the most:

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/649446311120273408/my-first-reddie-sketch-now-scanned-the-quality

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/649548606679007232/close-to-you-now-scanned-with-coloured

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/650697175346593792/hammock-iconic-richie-is-reading-a-monthly

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Oh… unfortunately I am not feelin‘ very confident about my own artworks. Sometims I have the feeling I am not creative enough and that my ideas are more or less boring. Nothing special ID Totally dumb – I know. As I mentioned before I came back lately to the fandom… I guess I missed many amazing IT weeks. I participated in some weeks/mainly shipweeks in other fandoms (Yakuza/Ryu ga Gotoku, FFXV) If I find an interesting annoucement I can imagine to participate in the future ; )

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

In general… the fandom is really friendly – I hope so. Lately I have seen some salty comments on different stuff, topics… and well.. I have just an advice: life can be exhausting enough and time is always running. Don’t spend time on things you don’t like. Discussions can esclate quickly and worde can hurt too. So, just thing about before you jump in.

Thanks again! <3

(Special lil sketchy piece of art I did for this ask)

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[luthienebonyx]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit who has most excellent timing in providing me with this fabulous procrastination tool for talking about writing when I should actually be writing.

Name: Luthien. I’ve been Luthien in online fandom since 1998-ish, but it was also a joke nickname in a group of RL friends before that, which is a long story. But yeah, I’ve been Luthien approximately forever. (Ebonyx is the nickname for my now departed much-loved tuxedo cat, Ebony, if you were wondering. I’m Luthien most places in fandom, but the cat comes with me if Luthien isn’t available as a username.) 

Fandoms: I started in Xena: Warrior Princess fandom, and there have been lots of others since. Fandoms that I stayed in for longer than five minutes (and a couple of times for up to five years)/wrote more than one story for include (the ones that I can remember off the top of my head) Harry Potter, the original Battlestar Galactica (1978), Pet Shop of Horrors, Stargate Atlantis, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Lewis, Once Upon a Time, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and, of course (and entirely by accident) Game of Thrones. 

Where you post: These days, only on AO3, apart from some small tumblr prompt fills that then end up on AO3. Originally, I posted to mailing lists, and my fic ended up in lots of small, stand-alone archives devoted to a single fandom/pairing/character. Then LJ was where I posted for a long time. Tried ff.net at one point in the early 2000s. We weren’t a good fit. Oh, and I had my own website, too - had to learn html to do that originally. 

Most popular one-shot: In terms of kudos, A Night to Remember, which is a Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries PWP. In terms of hits, Plain Jane, a Once Upon a Time canon divergence, which is one of my favourite stories out of everything I’ve ever written. (Also, some of my HP fic back in the day probably would take the prize overall, but it was all posted long before AO3 was a gleam in astolat’s eye. In Whisky Veritas, one of my Snape/Hermione fics, still has a stupid number of hits for something so old. I never know which of my fics are going to be zombie fics, and never quite die, but that one is definitely the biggest zombie of the lot.) So far as my JB fic goes, it’s Beloved and A Doom Unescaped. 

Most popular multi-chapter: I actually haven’t written all that many multi-chaptered fics over the years, partly because I often wasn’t well enough to write them, and partly because they were frowned on a lot in the fannish circles I used to move in. That said, The Personal Touch is the most popular multi-chapter fic I’ve ever posted in any fandom, on every metric.

Fic you were nervous to post: Well, every fic. I always feel sick right before I hit the “post” button. But more than usually nervous? I think the first time I posted het I was pretty nervous, because I was a slasher, and there was a much bigger divide then than there is now. I’m usually not that nervous when I first post in a new fandom, though, because I don’t know anyone, I’ve got nothing to lose, and it’s like I can just sneak in, drop the fic, and then run away without being seen. (That was what was supposed to happen with JB. Oops.)

How do you choose your titles? Sometimes they’re song lyrics or quotes from poems or whatever; often they just come to me. I have a very big thick book of quotations for those stories that just don’t WANT to be named. (Sometimes this works really well. I really liked the fit of the title when I finally found the right quote for As Sunlight Drinketh Dew, for example.) I like a title with more than one meaning to it, if I can manage it, or something which points to things being not quite as straightforward as they appear on the surface. My recent Queen’s Thief story was about an eleven-day journey through the mountains, but the fic was called Twelve Days, because the story was actually about the emotional journey the characters were on rather than the physical one, and that didn’t end until they were out of the mountains.

Do you outline? Hahaha. Um, I am definitely what GRRM calls a gardener rather than an architect. I have TRIED to outline, and all that happens is that I end up with scene drafts instead of an outline. My usual method is to just keep a list of bullet points and jot things down as I work them out. Sometimes I’m wrong, and then I argue with myself from bullet point to bullet point. They’re usually in any sort of order, and include details ranging from the main beats of the story to some silly joke or line or reference that I need to remember to include when I get to a later part of the story. I DID write a chronology for both Twelve Days (for obvious reasons) and also for my Yuletide fic, but those were definitely not outlines. No, nuh-uh. (Don’t want to scare my brain by making it think it has to deal with an actual outline.)

(Slightly more) seriously, though, I know the way my writing brain works. It needs to know the skeleton of the story: the general shape of the story, the main beats, where it starts and where it ends. But everything else, the flesh in between the bones, comes out in the writing. If I know too much before I write, the story tends not to work.

Complete: 128, not counting my Yuletide fic, and also not counting various old stories that never made it to AO3.

Do you take prompts?  Sometimes. If I’m foolish enough.

In progress: 10 on AO3, but that includes a couple of open-ended collections, plus a couple of WIPs in old fandoms that, realistically, I’m very unlikely to ever return to. There are four JB fics that need finishing, and no, I haven’t forgotten about any of them. I just only have so much energy available for writing. I also still have to finish my JB chill exchange fic - which is what I should be working on right now but hey, there was this meme...

Coming soon: My Yuletide fic, which I obviously can’t talk about yet. I’ll just say that it’s a story I’ve thought about writing for quite a while, and I was thrilled to finally get the chance to do it. And also my JB Chill Exchange fic, which is... well, you’ll see. ;)

Tagging: Fellow procrastinators @robotsdance and @firesign23. Also: @samirant @slipsthrufingers @nire-the-mithridatist @kiraziwrites @sdwolfpup @scoundrels-in-love @schweetheart @woodelf68 @blatheringbluejay and anyone else who wants to do it.

[ckret2]

would you mind explaining "Careless whisper" "I will always love you" and "Friend please"? no pressure though!

Oh god you chose two of the meme-iest songs! Both in one post! I can’t believe it!

Okay.

This took me forever to write because I wrote half of it and then got distracted for weeks and didn’t get back to it until I got a fresh ask today with some more songs and I was like, crap, I should finish this one.

So the first three paragraphs in this post still apply here, I’m not gonna copy paste them, go read those paragraphs if you haven’t yet. tl;dr i’m answering questions about why i included songs on my radiosnake spotify playlist because i like rambling for thousands of words at a time, also the playlist is based on a fic i wrote.

Feel free to keep sending me questions about more songs on the playlist. Explanations under the read more, assuming the read more works, which I make no guarantee of because this is tumblr.

Careless Whisper (Lyrics)

… except, the jazzy version.

So lemme tell you a story about how “Careless Whisper” came up and then I’ll explain why it actually belongs on the playlist.

The only way I can outline a story is by sitting down with another person and rambling the plotline at them, copy pasting it into another document, and bam that’s an outline.

Right now, in the disjointed process of outlining a sequel to Cold Day In Hell, I’m sort of chunking random ideas at a couple friends to see what sticks. One idea is that, when Alastor is drunk, he’s 90% worse at pretending he totally doesn’t care about Sir Pentious at all. If they’re ever drunk at the same social event, he will subtly (not subtly at all) follow him around all night like a puppy and hang on to his every word, automatically playing this sort of nonsense in the background.

One of my friends announced sadness that it didn’t start off with “Careless Whisper,” so I checked Postmodern Jukebox (the fastest/easiest/most common way to translate a modern song into Alastor Aesthetic) to see if they had made a jazz cover (they had), and I reassured my friend that the PMH cover definitely played every second song while drunk!Alastor was mooning over (and/or looming over) Sir Pentious.

And then I went oh goddammit the lyrics actually fit, dammit, now I’ve gotta put it on the playlist.

So I put it on the playlist.

Here’s the great thing about song lyrics. Even if everyone knows that the lyrics mean one thing, language is inherently ambiguous and you can totally just decide to read the lyrics a slightly different way if you really really want to and the exact wording doesn’t make it impossible. Everyone KNOWS that “Careless Whisper” is about cheating, but it never SAYS it’s about cheating (like, it says “cheat a friend,” but like the singer could’ve cheated their friend at cards? it doesn’t say), so you can just decide that it’s about any other kind of betrayal in a relationship! Like, say, blowing up your ally’s steampunk airship fleet. The song never says it ISN’T about a steampunk airship fleet.

So let’s just establish right now that this song is no longer about cheating. That’s out the window.

In the original song, “dancing” is probably intended as a metaphor for having sex. In THIS context, it is literally dancing. The emotional core of CDIH, the moment around which the rest of the story rotates, is the night that Alastor and Sir Pentious dance together. And although Alastor no doubt dances plenty of times after leaving Sir Pent, he’s certainly never going to dance like that again—like he’s with a lover, like he wants to be touching his dance partner, rather than either alone or while distastefully putting up with physical contact with someone who doesn’t matter to him.

The interpretation of the line “careless whispers of a good friend” that I think is probably Most Common is that a friend of the singer’s lover warned the lover that the singer is cheating on them, and the singer thinks that the fact that the lover now knows is worse than not knowing at all, because now that the lover knows they can never go back to normal, hence why the friend was being careless. Aside from any questions of, like, whether or not that’s a sound opinion at all—I’ve always interpreted that line differently. Since the singer refers to their lover as a “friend” (“should have known better than to cheat a friend”), I’ve always assumed that the singer would refer to themself as their lover’s friend, and so the “careless whispers of a good friend” were the whispers that the singer themself made that started whatever affair it is they had.

And so that assumption—that the “good friend” that said something they shouldn’t have is the singer—is the interpretation I’m carrying into the song’s inclusion in the playlist. In this case, it’s Alastor’s decision to lie to Sir Pent about how he feels about him (claiming that he never cared & that he was just screwing around with his emotions) before running off that are the “careless whispers” because, although not exactly whispery, they do have the same effect as in the song: ever since he said them, there’s been an unmendable rift between Alastor and Sir Pent (which was, like, his objective, but he’s still not happy about it)—and, more than that, it was very careless. Alastor had intended for his actions to just push Sir Pent away, not to effectively ruin Sir Pent’s ambitions to rule hell completely. But, that’s what happened. Because he didn’t think anything through. He just said and did the very first things he could think of to push Sir Pent away. Extremely careless.

And, of course, the specific version that got included was chosen because it sounds jazzy. Yay for PMJ, making all sorts of songs Alastor-ready.

I Will Always Love You (Lyrics)

… except, the super dark version.

So I figured out at some point that the easiest way I was gonna find Alastor music was through jazz-style covers of songs a la Postmodern Jukebox, 1) because PMJ has been actually mentioned as among the limited varieties of modern music that Alastor would listen to by virtue of the fact that they do covers that sound like what he used to listen to, and 2) because Puff here isn’t actually a fan of jazz and it’s a lot easier for me to slowly wade into the water via jazzy covers of songs I already know than it is for me to fling myself into the deep end like “appreciate Jelly Roll Morton! Appreciate Jelly Roll Morton NOW!!!”

(I am slowly and laboriously training myself to be a fan of jazz, because Alastor is a RADIO HOST from NEW ORLEANS in the ROARING TWENTIES AND A LITTLE BIT OF THE THIRTIES, i will NOT be writing him while in complete ignorance of a subject that probably occupied a huge portion of his life.)

So due to the fact that I was looking for PMJ-esque genre-switching covers of songs, I drifted over to other genre-switching song cover acts like Chase Holfelder to go through the songs and go “hm wonder of any of these work." This song is an exception to the genres I’m looking for for Alastor, but it still makes the list because like, the vibe is just right.

Have y'all ever actually listened to/read the lyrics to "I Will Always Love You” before? Not just the AAAND IIIIIIIII-IIII-IIIIIII WILL ALWAAAYS LOVE YOOOOO-OO-OOOU bit but the actual lyrics. They’re sad. The lyrics are “I deeply love you but if I stayed with you I would only hold you back so i’m going to leave you because it’s for the best but i’m super sad about it and i always will be.”

Now, that doesn’t 100% line up with Alastor’s situation. Because, like, obviously, he was doing the exact opposite of holding Sir Pent back when they were together, and fearing holding Sir Pent back was not the reason he left.

But it is among the reasons he avoids the hell out of him now. The primary reasons, of course, are still “being in love is scary and i do not want to do that so maybe if i avoid him i can continue pretending that i am not in love?” and “lmao he justifiably hates me now so why try"—but #3 on his list is the recognition that, since they broke up, Alastor’s actions have caused a constant cascade of events that have held Sir Pent back ever since. (And Alastor also suspects that there might actually be some kind of legitimate curse or fate or something going on here—that part of Alastor’s role in hell is playing the part of Sir Pent’s personal hellish divine punishment.) So he didn’t leave because he’s sabotaging Sir Pent’s ambitions; but he sabotaged Sir Pent’s ambitions because he left.

And therefore, as a consequence, he should stay away from Sir Pent now. He shouldn’t beg forgiveness and a second chance—because he doesn’t deserve them, and because he might make it worse.

This particular cover of the song really kicks the anguish up into high gear. The most common Whitney Houston version is like, okay she’s brokenhearted, but also somehow somewhat empowered by the brokenheartedness—like even though she’s leaving sad and bitter, in her heart she knows that the decision she’s making is for the best for her beloved, and she can draw strength from that. There is no drawing strength from the decision in the Chase Holfelder version—just using it up. It’s like he’s burning through all of his reserves of strength to push his loved one away. When Whitney hits the big note, she’s pulling power into herself to belt that out. When Chase hits the big note, he’s pouring out every last bit of power left inside his body. You can imagine Whitney walking away from this song with her head held high and her back straight but Chase is just gonna collapse to his knees with his shoulders hunched and head bowed—completely empty, a husk. That’s the vibe I want with Alastor—that every single day of his self-imposed exile he’s losing a little piece of himself, hollowing himself out. He can’t draw strength from it.

Typically, when I’m picking songs for this playlist, I don’t pay much attention to the gender of the singer (my only main priority on this playlist is that by the time it’s done I want the genders of the singers to be roughly balanced on both Sir Pent’s part and Alastor’s part), but in this case I think the fact that the singer is male contributes to it working for Alastor the way another version with a female singer wouldn’t. Not entirely sure why—maybe because, even though the voice doesn’t sound anything like his, it’s easier to actively imagine Alastor singing the song when it’s got a male voice? Maybe because, thanks to Sexism In Society, a woman saying "I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “Oh… I am simply not good enough for you… I’d hold you back…” while a man saying “I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “I wouldn’t hold you back, I’d push you down. I’m dangerous for you.” And the latter fits Alastor better.

(But hey, if any of you know of any versions of “I Will Always Love You” with a female singer that makes her sound dangerous as hell, feel free to recommend them to me. Not because I’m looking to replace the version I’ve already got but just because I’d really like to hear it.)

Currently, it’s listed as the last song on the Alastor portion of the playlist. I recently reorganized it so that the Sir Pent portions and Alastor portions each flow from the shallowest/most surface emotions down to the deeper/truer/more hidden emotions, and even before I did that reorganization, “I Will Always Love You” has been the closing song on Alastor’s side since it was added to the playlist. That feels like the right note to leave it on: after everything else has been said, once every other layer and lie has been stripped away, the deepest and truest and last thing Alastor would have to say to Sir Pent is “I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of” and an anguished screaming declaration of love.

Friend Please https://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-friend-please-lyrics

So remember when I said that language is inherently ambiguous and if you want you can totally just choose to read words differently if the wording doesn’t actually prevent that interpretation? This song is clearly about suicide. I have decided for the purposes of this playlist it is not about suicide anymore! It’s still about depression but not about suicide! When the singer was like “Please don’t take your life away from me” what he meant is “Please don’t take your life, and also, I am emphasizing that if you do so you are removing yourself from my life to try to show you how much you mean to me,” but how I have decided to interpret it for this playlist is “literally do not remove your life from my life, as in, like, don’t run away and stop talking to me.”

So. As I mentioned in my last song meta post, there’s sort of two—not genres, but like, musical aesthetics that I’m drawing from for Sir Pent: Victorian-ish/steampunk-ish sounds, and emo stuff because Vivz said that’s what he actually listens to. Twenty One Pilots fits the criteria for emo for me—idk and idc if other people consider them emo, they toured with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, they count as far as I’m concerned—so they’re actually among the bands I’ve been intending to specifically look at for potential Sir Pent Songs.

For the most part, they’re, like, too good at the sad millennial vibe. But that song works.

“Friend, Please” comes low on Sir Pent’s portion because it’s deep in the more genuine emotions—I’ve actually considered putting it last and may still do so, it would make a nice counterpoint to “I Will Always Love You"—actually I’m gonna go do that, gonna go shuffle the playlist, there, good—and it’s also something that he couldn’t/wouldn’t say until after he knows about Alastor’s deep thoughts. Reinterpreted so that it’s not about suicide, it becomes about a friend who’s still depressed, but the focus of the song becomes about the friend’s self-isolation—a self-isolation that’s fueled by denial and self-delusion, the friend convincing themself that they’re alone, always will be, and can’t/won’t have anyone else in their life again that they can depend upon.

Which, although he doesn’t necessarily seem to be depressed, is certainly the vibe Alastor gives off in the show—that despite his overly-friendly overly-familiar attitude, he probably keeps everyone else at a great emotional distance. In canon he might be okay with that. In fic, he’s doing that at the expense of pushing away a person he loves very much—and then pushing away anyone that could help him cope with that loss. Leaving him very alone and perpetually disguising himself as fine with that. Maybe, when he can go years without having to see Sir Pent, he can be fine with that.

But I have Big Plans for that sequel and you know item #1 on the list is "stick Alastor and Sir Pent in a position where they’ll have to cross paths all the time so that it’s like threading a giant needle with barbed wire, stabbing the needle into Alastor’s heart, and slowly dragging the barbed wire straight through.”

And after that? Living like a ghost, claiming he’s fine when he’s been completely emotionally drained, is gonna be a pretty accurate description of his mental state.

Right now, Sir Pent is in no way close enough to Alastor to know that—and in no way sympathetic enough toward him to care even if he did know. He still hates Alastor for completely ruining his life. But there’s still that part of him that used to care about Alastor and still could come to care about him again. And if that part gets revived, and if he gets close enough to Alastor to see how miserable he’s made himself by trying to push everyone away and denying that he’s pushed his own mental state into as bad a state as it’s currently in, his reaction would be “you absolute dumbass” followed by trying to shout some sense into Alastor by pointing out that every one of his problems is caused not by external factors, but by his own damn screwed-up perception of the world. Like, every one of his problems he made himself, and he can unmake them. He’s just got to uncover his eyes first.

It’s easy for fandom to just, like, characterize Sir Pent as an all-around dumbass—strategically, socially, emotionally, etc. Until and unless we see otherwise—and see it so firmly that even I can’t find ways to headcanon around it, and believe you me, I can headcanon my way around a lot of things—I choose to believe that the only areas he’s definitely a dumbass in are “understanding modern slang” and “remembering NOT to charge into battle without considering the odds the second he sees somebody he hates.” This means that I like to believe he also has a reasonable level of emotional intelligence, and a healthy level of compassion that he can deploy, when he so chooses, on someone he considers worthy of that compassion. He’s evil, yes, but self-professed evil, which means self-aware evil; which means that even though there’s gotta be something fucked up with his worldview for him to choose to be evil, it is a choice he’s making, not something he’s doing specifically because he believes it’s right/necessary. And he can turn it off when he decides he’s with someone that deserves it.

Now, is Alastor on that list? Not currently, hell no. But there’s potential for him to make it on the list—that potential for Sir Pent to care about him again, to want to see him throw off the things that he’s using to hold himself back, to want to see him become better and happier, to want him back in Sir Pent’s life—buried somewhere deep beneath Sir Pent’s burned emotions and decades of resentment.

[itchyboogers]

hello comrades

my name is grace. i'm gonna be honest right now, not sure exactly what this post is. just because i can't function without order, i'm gonna make a list of reasons why i'm sharing my story:

to spread awareness

because i need an outlet

many of my friends suggested i share this

simply to entertain whoever might take a look at it

just in case, because of my paranoia, i’m saying right now i don’t want any witch hunt. i feel like saying this is really reaching in terms of how many people are gonna read this, but my concern insists. this is gonna be a long article, so i’m putting the little “read more” thingamabob right here. 

trigger warning, for like, everything

about me; prologue?

as you saw above, my name is grace. i’m 19, and this is a very personal experience that i’ve gone through. first, let me introduce everything that’s wrong with me. i have high-functioning autism, and throughout my life my autism has been the root of my downfall. ever since 2nd grade i’ve gotten the short end of the stick. you always hear about prodigy kids whose grades and social lives falter as the years pass, i am 100% one of them. this story isn’t necessarily about me, but i’ve been through some shit, son. 

i have a family that is more supportive than i could ever ask for, i’m not gonna lie and say that my at-home life was miserable - because home was my safe place, and public school was where i fought my battles. i was a very eccentric kid and while my autism has limited me, it has also given me the ability to think outside of the box, blah blah blah so i’m grateful for it as well. 

by the time i got to 6th grade, things went way more south than i thought they could go. i was a bit of an edgelord back then so i was skipping 4th period with my friend in the locker room. we’re dicking around, looking in lockers, climbing the stalls, being stupid kids. somewhere along the line we jump into the topic of sexuality, and she tells me she thinks she might be bi. i said that wouldn’t change anything about us, and that i might not like boys at all. 

she told me about her parents not agreeing with the whole gay thing and she wasn’t even close to thinking of coming out of the closet because her parents would disown her. real fucked up, but it happened back then still quite frequently. i promised her i wouldn’t tell anybody and that i wouldn’t even think about outing her to anyone, and we gave each other a cute little friend hug, it was cute.

about 3 days later on the weekend, we’re texting and a small argument boils between us and another friend in a group chat. it starts to become a bigger argument, because kids are stupid and dramatic, and i definitely was. she ended up kicking me out of the group chat and i cried myself to sleep (i know lmao). i went to school on monday and i immediately get called into the principal’s office, regarding sexual assault claims. she lied and told the school faculty that i tried to touch her inappropriately during that time we skipped class in the locker room. she also got her friends to tell everybody.

long story short i became severely depressed, gained weight, got my head shoved in a toilet filled with piss by some 8th graders friends with that girl’s older sister, and started self-harming to suppress my urge to hurt other people. my meds got switched around (it’s why i gained weight) and i ended up switching schools because a public school had an IEP i think it was called? anyway

blah blah blah countless school stories and misfortunes blah blah blah crohn’s disease blah blah blah ambulance sent to the school all that jazz. it’s gonna hurt too much if i talk about PRLC, but basically there was a low-funded school for kids who wanted a second chance due to disability, drugs, ect. it was out at a wildlife preservation park with all sorts of animals, i met my best friends there, became the person i am today, ect. but staff changes ended up changing the school for the worse and eventually i got dismissed.

very long depression period, i got kicked out from the school i used to call a second home back in 2018 and this cycle hasn’t ended yet, to this day. i’m hoping writing this will give me some closure or something, because writing about my misfortunes online has sent me opportunities in the past. i am not a perfect person, i never have been, and i can still name many things about my psyche and outlook on life that i’d like to someday change.

the main course

this is where i start talking about somebody that i won’t mention by name, but i’ll call him music boy for convenience. in december of last year i got to see my favorite band live for the second time, the first being april of 2018. i love this band with all my heart, and i’m not going to mention them by name. but after the concert i was going through some heavy post-concert sadness, and i wanted to share my love and appreciation so i find a semi-active discord server dedicated to said band, and i join. i make some friends and acquaintances over a span of 2-3 months.

marijuana got legalized in my state this year, something i had been anticipating for a long time, ergo from january 2020 to the beginning of april 2020, i was in a constant state of stoned off my ass. nobody saw sober grace until the late days of april. i was not in any way able to make proper decisions regarding, say, a relationship. and it was really obvious that i was high, nobody would have thought otherwise.

after i get home from a birthday vacation to arizona on february 2nd, i start going in the voice chats for the server. i would say in the general chat something along the lines of “sick, i’m super baked i’m gonna go bother the voice chat” and i end up in a group chat consisting of most of the server members that are “of age” (so not too many). at this point i’m barely aware i’m making friends, but one person in the group i really happened to resonate with. her name is Christina, and she’s to this day my number 1 mom friend and goblin sibling. <3

i meet a handful of more people in the group chat (we called it the “after hours”) and we have a lot of fun doing different activities over discord. for example we all decided to sign up for club penguin online (which is now proven to be run by a predator, i believe) and we all battled each other in card-jitsu. or i would share my screen as i went on Omegle and did goofy high shit on there and met people under the “memes” or “weed” tags. 

in this after hours group chat, one of the active members was music boy. he was the owner of the server dedicated to the band i love. why music boy? because he wants desperately to become a famous musician. there’s something about music boy that’s... ‘different’. i don’t know if anyone knows what i mean when i say, his energy was awry. the best way to describe music boy is kind of mean, but it’s the only way i’m able to express how this guy is as a person. i can best describe him by saying he expects his life to play out as a WattPad fanfiction, him being the main character. 

just so you get the main point, this one time i was on Omegle dicking around ha ha funny random people, but music boy was silent. he then typed in the chat that he was gonna go on Omegle himself and do something painfully unfunny, he said he was gonna get his guitar and use that as a prop to “vibe check” people on the website. it wasn’t funny but everybody (me included) was sort of brainwashed into thinking he could do no wrong. don’t know how he got me to laugh at that, especially with his delivery of the joke. 

yet, he didn’t want to “vibe check” people, i know that now - he just couldn’t stand when he wasn’t the center of attention. so he left and told a mod, who was also in the group chat, to join the server voice chat with him. and he announced that he was streaming himself vibe checking people on Omegle. the iffy part about that is that the entire reason he made the after hours chat was to keep NSFW stuff off the server, and it was basically prompted by me streaming myself messing around on Omegle and seeing a lot of (pretty expected) male genitalia. i’m not gonna explain that any further because anybody with a brain can understand why that was a confusing move on his part.

eventually february 14th came by, and i, being as high as i was, decided to send music boy a bunch of goofy valentine’s day cards, like the ones that were popular in 2013. i kept sending them because at the time i thought it was so funny, and i’m a natural flirt when i’m stoned. keep in mind everybody knew they hadn’t seen me sober yet, the joke in the server was basically 'when is grace not high?’ so it was evident that my decision-making process was impaired.

for some reason music boy wanted us to all play DnD, even though half of us didn’t know or give a rat’s ass how to play. i would make stupid jokes, and everybody would laugh, but music boy would exaggerate, he would go ‘oh thats how it is? is that how this is going to be’ or some unfunny shit like that because he thought every single joke or reference that anyone made had something to do with him, because, you know, he is the main character, after all. he eventually made a really embarrassing big deal about him ‘accepting my valentine proposal’ and then he went to bed i guess.

the next day or two is a blur to me, all i remember and know is that Christina knew that he was taking advantage of me always being super high, but she didn’t want to assume anything. like she had always seen me make a joke and then would see music boy turn that joke sexual, even when it was nearly impossible to make a suggestive joke out of what i originally joked about, which to be honest was probably my flawless Sméagol impression. but he would repeat the Gollum voice and say something unfunny that we all laughed at.

basically, if you haven’t caught on, music boy is a major egotistical narcissist that cannot stand having somebody that isn’t him being paid attention to. he told me his “dream” (that's TOTALLY gonna come true, by the way) was to go to a concert of the band the server was dedicated to, but he would show up in a custom made shirt that said “[lead singer of band] IS A THOT” and then the band’s guitarist would point it out and laugh because it’s SO funny and then get the lead singer’s attention, who would pull music boy on stage and challenge him to pehen he would start serenading the crowd and all the girls’ panties would instantly get soaked, all the tabloids would hear about it, and the band would jizz their pants, and he would become an overnight sensation.

here’s where stuff gets dodgy. i’m not claiming this is abuse, because i don’t have experience with abusive relationships, and i’m not in any place to assume that i understand what it’s like to be in one, but my friends have told me that he mentally abused me and took advantage of the state i was in. somewhere along the line he would, in the group call, tell his sob story about how all his friends ghosted him and tried to cancel him because of some sort of misconduct accusation in a previous server, and how i was his savior for putting my trust in him and believing his side of the story and he said some things about becoming a happier person because he met me, and it was all very unnecessarily dramatic and extremely manipulative disregarding if he noticed he was doing it or not.

I.E.

“and... then I met this girl... this really weird girl! then i saw her face, and i thought i loved her, but i found out she only liked girls and i lost all hope but then out of nowhere she sends me valentines cards! and now shes my valentine”

or some really really stupid gay shit like that, it’s the best i can imitate him without gagging or getting sick. then eventually (eventually being equal to ‘within the first week of meeting me’) he hEsiTaNtLy asks me to, like, idk be his e-girlfriend. he knew i was baked to oblivion and wasn’t in a proper state to make up my mind on anything serious but then again am i the main character? 

no. 

music boy is the main character.

if i’m being gut-wrenchingly honest here, i only genuinely liked the idea of being in an e-relationship with music boy for a day or a day and a half. the entire time i was just stoned out of my mind and not thinking as i normally do, i was nonchalant until april fools day when all hell broke loose in the server. on a live stream, the lead singer of the band made a suggestion that he was in the server that music boy made. and dear God, you would have thought it was the second coming of Christ by the way music boy reacted to it. 

he was being unbelievably hyper, even for someone with ADHD. he was hauling his uncanny-valley looking forcibly ripped body around his room like a genetically mutated spider monkey, banging his head against his bed, stopping mid-sentence to play a quirky chord on his handy dandy acoustic guitar while he looked in the webcam and made a quirky blank face. it was like watching a six y/o meet Iron Man, even though there was nothing really to be too elated about. 

he made an emoji for it and everything, he even posted on the “Official [band name] Discord Server”’s instagram account, but it was just a video of him, and the thumbnail was his goofy ass face, the whole video was just music boy saying unfunny shit trying to lowkey promote the server while flexing at the same time, something like [lead singer] we know you’re here!! you are welcome here my lord idk lmfaooo

but at this point i was becoming too sober to stand by silently and watch this moron suck his own toes, i wasn’t gonna act like his music was good and i wasn’t gonna act like he was gonna become a superstar without question. the breaking point was mostly when he almost came his pants and cried when the lead singer allegedly joined his server, but i came close to breaking when i started casually humming in the group call and hes like 

Hold Up 👁️👄👁️ wait you’re so good... why are you so good? you’re like really good and i mean it!! you’re like, almost as good as me! but you know i have YEARS of practice you know haha but you’re like super good!

and then I decided to humor myself by showing him a cover i recorded and the first thing he said after listening to it halfway was “this scares me”, so that was a pretty big warning sign.

blah blah blah i cried for an hour after that then called him again just to break up with him because of my own mental health and he did handle this very well, not bashing him for that. i basically told him no we aren’t taking a break this shindig will no longer continue, like at all, ever and hes like okay cool yknow it hurts but ill get over it, and i really didnt expect that. because, he basically implied that if i left him he would k*ll himself.

i tried to keep the friendship going because i dont like abandoning people, but he slowly started getting distant from me, and the entire server kind of distanced themselves from me too, but at the time i only noticed music boy getting apprehensive with me. keep in mind (i keep saying that, don’t i?) i thought everybody in the server was cool with me making offensive-ish jokes because they had no problem with it during the time i was “with” music boy. then one day i get called out for talking about - i’m not joking - weed. i started ranting about how weed is my medicine and it was kinda silly to get so pissy over the devil’s lettuce but i dont think i made too big of a deal out of what i could have made.

couple days later im talking in the server again. i’m a very blunt person, my humor is very dry and it can tend to go over some people’s heads if they don’t have enough brain cells. i made a joke that i’d already made in the server before about me being r-word because autism and haha funny joke. 

i get kicked out of the server.

at the time i was confused because i had no idea that i even said anything wrong. i messaged music boy a bit passive-aggressively because despite my confusion i still had a vague idea of what was happening. i said something like "was i too edgy" and like 3 minutes later he responds "you were making a lot of dudes uncomfortable”

mcscuse me bietch?

NOBODYYYYY in the general chat had told me that i was making them feel uncomfy whatsoever, and i dont think anything could have implied that anyone was in any way uncomfortable, and with these social situations i’ve explained to everyone in the after hours chat that sometimes i don’t get social cues. i’m autistic!!! it’s a very rare occurrence when i’m able to ‘read the room’. i thought they knew that but they decided to have a private staff meeting and they all agreed it was best to BAN ME from the server. 

the thing is if i had been messaged, if i was let known that people were bitching about me calling myself r******d then i would have definitely complied. i can understand people feeling a bit weird when i make fun of myself using no-no words, and i’m definitely willing to stop saying a certain thing if it genuinely makes somebody feel uneasy. but nobody said anything about it to me. not a single word.

considering the server has gone to a snowflake kingdom since my exit, i’m not too upset about being kicked out. what i am upset about regards him knowing i wasn’t in a proper state to make any decisions. decisions including NSFW decisions that he hinted at for about 5 minutes before i stopped saying ‘ehhh i don’t know if i’m comfortable with this’ and he didn’t have to beg for coochie anymore. i’m honestly lucky because i can’t remember most of what he coaxed me to do, because if i think about it too much it gets traumatic and i start feeling nauseous.

Christina has been in the server just to tell me what new bullshit has been going on in the rules, and the ever-expanding list of things that you aren’t allowed to talk about in the server, we have a good chuckle at it. i got high again about a week ago, and told my friends the audacity of what music boy actually had done to me and we all agreed to go under a vpn and raid the server, because why not, its funny haha goofy joke. we were having the best time and i was about to piss myself laughing when one of my friends name-drops me and the whoooole gig is over. we get kicked out and Christina pretends to act like she had no clue what was going on, so she could stay in and screenshot this:

she didn’t know how badly that term in itself would send me down a long overdue psychotic episode because about a year or two ago, i was getting concerned that i might have anti-social personality disorder, the ‘proper’ term for a diagnosed psychopath. it ended up nonconclusive, so i don’t necessarily believe i have it, but for some reason him calling me that word really fucked me up. but here’s a pretty funny and cringy sequence of things he typed in to get his cult of teenagers to feel bad for him.

don’t go looking for this person, don’t go looking for the band, i’m just sharing my story because maybe somebody could benefit from my experience being told. i’m trying to jump over this long ass hurdle that’s kept me in one place for wayyy too long, i’m hoping that sharing this endeavor could help my psyche, and perhaps push me forward and lead me towards gathering up the courage i’m missing to finally study for and take the GED test, graduate, and put public school and it’s challenges behind me.

if you read this long and want to talk to me about it, by all means, ask questions, make jokes, ask for more goofy ass screenshots of how i’ve made fun of him, more drama queen music boy tales, because we have a handful, trust me. 

i don’t expect anyone to read this or necessarily care about this, but if you’ve come this far, from the bottom of my heart, do not date a musician. and, of course, thank you for reading. but still, don’t date a musician. especially if it’s a man. mega especially x2 if you’ve only known them for less than a week.

add me on roblox i’m user xulue i’m a funny gal and im a pro gamer

stay safe out there, be kind, and for the love of God don’t bring your guitar to the voice channel <3

[seraphimluxe]

reality of stevebucky having super senses

this is very tmi, so heads up

right so the super serum increased the positive aspects of the natural human body by like 92829x

that’s not an exact number but you feel me

this includes their senses

touch, hearing, sight, taste, smell.

which sounds really cool at first glance !!

but lemme break it down for you

I’m just gonna refer to stevebucky as a single person bc it’s easier

touch

this one is pretty nice

he’s already got super endurance, so he doesn’t feel pain multiplied

but hes super sensitive to touch

esp physical contact

on God the man would nut if you touched his neck

exaggerated but still

*touch starvation intensifies*

kisses are a full body experience

MAD ticklish

can feel people coming before he sees them

floor vibrations and shit

like Spidey sense, he can feel if someone’s moving to touch him

will only wear things with nice textures

silk sheets no doubt

fuzzy socks

fluffy sweatpants

maybe why Bucky wears multiple layers to dull any contact he makes with stuff? so it’s less distracting or sumn

pats and pets are either vv appreciated or will stress him out

haircuts are probably a glorious experience

hearing

I don’t know how to measure someone’s hearing level

he can hear an average persons heartbeat in an average room

he can hear people’s music through their headphones

can hear electricity like tv static, or when someone’s charging their phone, can hear laptop fans

can hear water coming up the pipes before it comes out the faucet

really in tune to picking up people’s breathing changes cuz they so loud

can hear people fart 😔

people’s bones cracking, even when they don’t know it

people tapping on their phones

basically one of those meme videos of people wordlessly slurping drinks and coughing

it’s inconvenient sometimes, but helpful for eavesdropping

sight

not a whole lot to say about this

I’d imagine colors would be a little more vivid

Steve isn’t colorblind anymore so there’s that

they can detect movement super super well

like omg did you see Clint’s nose hair move

they can see far away too

better night vision

it easily gets very overwhelming

perhaps why Bucky wears black

taste

again not a ton to say

I’m trying rlly hard to not make a sexual joke

I’d imagine spicy food would be difficult

I really don’t see a major purpose in this

could probably taste if something has been tampered with/poisoned

“Clint the unsalted butter to sugar ratio in these cookies is divine”

also probably mad sensitive to textures bc of the whole extreme taste x extreme touch

really distinct coffee and alcohol preferences

they both refuse to eat pea soup

“SAM STOP PUTTING THE TOMATOES IN THE FRIDGE IT MAKES THEM MEALY”

“I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”

smell

ah the whole reason I made this post

this one is the worst

smells every fart

forget about ever keeping your period a secret

he’s got your cycle memorized

that is, assuming you have a coochie

they can smell everyones ballsack for ten mile radius

(exaggerated again)

(or is it?)

working in the gym is hell

between the constant “silent” farts, the sweat, musty coochies and balls, THE FEET,,

thats definitely why Steve goes running outside

can smell people’s bodywash, shampoo, perfume, lotion, laundry detergent, lip gloss/chapstick, mouthwash, makeup, any candles you were burning

can tell if you haven’t showered

you thought you were being slick 😔

also:

can probably smell pheromones

ugh okay this is just such a rich concept for me

knowing people by their unique scents, even without perfume or bodywash

can ID people’s BO

that one’s not rlly cute but

certain people smelling REALLY good to him and he’s like “oh that’s probably my hormones saying we should procreate”

that’s def something Bucky would think, not Steeb

I don’t know if this is a thing but they can probably smell the change in your hormones/pheromones when you’re ovulating

weird ass

he can also smell when he gets an adrenaline rush

smells blood at crime scenes, on people

he’s basically a K9 police dog

depending on how sensitive it would be

could smell if people are sick/poisoned

you can never hide if youve been drinking

drugs

I don’t need to elaborate on that

but yeah forget panty sniffing, they can do that shit across the room

overstimulation

I’d imagine that the first couple days of being super was HELL

sometimes it still gets to be too much and they get rlly stressed :(

probably own soundproof headphones, so if it starts to get really bad they can cancel one of their senses

even then they could still hear their heartbeat in their head

sleep is the only escape where they’re not constantly being stimulated

but nightmares :((

many headaches at the end of the day

anyway that’s my take on that. personally, I exclude taste and smell from most of my canons, but I still think it’s an interesting and rich concept to play with !

[theonceoverthinker]

Fanfic Meme

Tagged by the stupendous @lillpon!!! Thank you, hun!!!

Username: ProtoChan. I one day might make this my Tumblr handle, too, but not right now.

Fandoms you write for: Once Upon a Time! Everyone has that one fandom they fall in utter love with and this is mine!

Where you post: Tumblr, AO3, and Fanfiction.net!

Most popular one-shot: For OUAT, that is my first and only-ish smut fic, All Around the World, a smut poetry fic where Emma and Killian -- in the wake of the newly United Realms -- strive to do the deed in every single realm and the fun sexcapades they have along the way! It’s probably one of my more wild concepts (And considering my whump, that says something! XD )! BUT in terms of views, one one shot is more popular, and it is from The Good Place. A Perfect Sunset is an Elhani fic that takes place in the reality where Eleanor and Tahani are soulmates and must reflect on things when Eleanor tells Tahani the truth about the kind of person she is. 

Most popular multi-chapter story: That without question is Marital Bliss. I’ve been working on this sappy, but also fairly realistic Golden Hook love story for over four years now and...it’s not even close to being done, but I and quite a few others love it all the same! I love enemies fall in love kicking and screaming every step of the way, and this fic is just pure indulgence of that! 

Favorite story you’ve written: ...This is a HARD one! I honestly adore all of the fic I’ve written over the course of my time in this fandom (Please forgive the sappiness). But if you’re putting a blaster to my head, I’m going to say A Tumultuous Embrace just because I’ve never allowed myself to be so utterly self indulgent with a fic before. But here...literally every torture I want to inflict on Rumple and Killian I can and do and because of the tone of the story, it makes complete sense! It’s the best wish fulfillment I could ever ask for in terms of Golden Hook and I’m having such a blast writing it! Like, when I started writing it, I wrote fifty pages of content for it in the first week! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve ever written something so quickly!

Story you were nervous to post: Something Terrible is Afoot got me VERY nervous and for good reason! Guys, I grossed out killian-whump with this fic! KILLIAN-WHUMP! I grossed MYSELF out with this fic! But fuck...this was fun to write and I’m so happy I made it! Killian is just tortured so badly...and it’s so mean...but it’s so fun...

How do you choose titles: Honestly, titles are stupidly easy for me to come up with! Usually, a word or phrase will just come to me and it’ll be a nice fit for the story! Sometimes, it will have to do with a repeated phrase in a story like Shit I’m Old, Do It Slowly, Please Don’t Throw It, Cinnamon...etc (This actually makes up like half of my fic repertoire and while I love self-plugs, I’m not gonna link all of them individually...which is why here’s a link to my AO3 account! Enjoy!) Also, puns are never the wrong way to go! Between Tight Knit Family, A Pirate’s Strife For Me, Something Terrible Is Afoot, and Compliments to the Chef, I think it’s fair to say that they’re a means of titling that I very much enjoy employing!

Do you outline: It depends. For an MC, I often will, but for a one-shot, I won’t. My outlines are very basic, usually just putting story points in the spaces between scenes I’ve already written.

How many of your stories are complete: If we’re counting one-shots, then 25.5! If we’re strictly counting MC’s, then out of my four and a half, I’ve completed...zero...but I promise you, I’m gonna fix that! 

How many of your stories are in progress: I have three WIP’s: Marital Bliss, A Tumultuous Embrace, and my newest, Can You Deny Us The Triumph In Store!

Coming soon: Right now, in the works, I have a few things! First, I have my four requested fics for my 400 followers celebration! Second, I have the continuation of my three MC’s (See above)! Finally, I have one shots of my own that I’m working on, including more 4A Killian whump stories (At least one of which should hopefully be out for Whumptober), a companion piece to On The Inside Looking Out, and my submission for the CS role reversal!

Do you accept prompts: I do! I don’t get them often, and I’ll be honest, they might take a while to get to sometimes, but I don’t really say no to prompts. I’m usually just flattered to receive them in the first place! <3

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: I’m really psyched for ALL of my upcoming stories, but if I were to have to choose one, it would be my csrolereversal fic! I have basically NO idea what it’s going to end up being because I have absolutely no reference and that unpredictability is really exciting! Maybe it’ll be a cute fluffy pieces or dark and angsty oneshot or a means to do something really out there! All I know is that I can’t wait!

I’d like to tag @once-upon-a-ouat, @sherlockianwhovian, and @mrs-stiltskin!!! Have fun, ladies!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic Writer Meme! tagged by @aban-asaara, thank you!! a nice meme to self-indulgently wind down with after a stressful day...

What is your total word count on AO3?

160,546. I had forgotten all about the AO3 stats page until having to dig that out, oops. I have more short drabbles etc on tumblr as well (and a LOT of stuff I just... never finished/posted anywhere).

How often do you write?

varies hugely depending on what else is going on in my life. In good times, I aim for daily, at least 500 words. During years I participate in NaNoWriMo, 1500-2000 per day in November. Other times I just can’t make even 500 happen with work/etc. Still more other times, my depression kicks in and I’m pretty useless at everything, and unfortunately go months with no writing at all. 

Do you have a routine for writing?

I try to write in several short bursts. If doing 500/words/day, then two chunks of 250, and some editing/planning on top. If during NaNoWriMo, 4 chunks of about 500 words each. If I really push myself to get them done in sections, I spend less time fiddling around, but the break between them makes it still relaxing/fun.

I also have a computer/document setup that works very well for me. I write on a laptop that can scroll between several different ‘desktop’ screens. I have one for fun stuff, and set one aside for writing. The only browser window/tabs allowed to be open on that desktop are writing-related ones--research, youtube clips of scenes, wiki articles, etc. All other fun stuff goes on the other desktop where it can’t distract me while I get through a section. Then over the browser I have two word documents: one on the left titled “[StoryTitle.docx]”, and one next to it titled “[StoryTitleNotes.docx]”. On the left is the “final version” of what I’m working on--aka the working document, with the most current edits/chapters/etc. The right “Notes” one is for outlines, summaries, lines I had to delete but might want to use somewhere else, passages I haven’t gotten to yet but wanted to sketch out before I lost the inspiration for them, quotes that I want to echo the feel of, copied dialogue from the game so I don’t forget it, etc etc. Anything related to the story in the working document that I might want to reference. The notes doc can be fairly messy--my level of organization for it changes from project to project. But it makes it WAY easier for me mentally to delete and tweak things when I can put them somewhere else just in case it turns out the first way was better. 

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Ohh... my pairings are pretty obvious, I’m really into Lavellan/Solas, Hawke/Fenris, and Shepard/Garrus. 

But what I’m really into is Hawke/the concept of found family and also various coping mechanisms+mental health issues; Lavellan/the weight of duty above all else, Shepard/the giddy knowledge that you won’t survive what you have to turn yourself into in order to save everything you love, Ryder+Sam/breaking the boundaries of what it means to be a single conscious entity...  

my big literary kinks are pretty much any narrative that has to do with one or more of the following: self-sacrifice, the transcendence of humanity in pursuit of a goal, the knowledge of the futility of one’s actions, the duality of self plus other, the terrifying and terrible beauty of rage, stubborn and violent perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, the frailty of people who nonetheless fool everyone into believing they’re not broken. I am also a very big fan of nontraditional formats, and the meta-narrative of a story over usual structure. 

tl;dr: I like my fiction weird. 

Like... I recognize that most of my fics. Do not include a majority of these. And the ones that do aren’t really very popular. The one that gets closest to these concepts is probably the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive which very few people read and got almost no attention. But I knew that when I posted it. I wrote it for me, after finishing the ME trilogy for the first time. The above tropes show up way more in my original writing, while I use fanfiction as a break from these more complicated/heavier themes, and to just have some fun with less technical writing. They’re there, just in smaller doses.

Fics with that sort of bend are WAY harder to search for than ones based on pairings though so like... if you have recs for anything that follows the above themes. please send them to me. i’m dying. please. 

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

How can I not answer this with Fallout from the Fade? It’s my baby. It’s the longest thing I’ve consistently written, without getting bored and abandoning it halfway through. It will probably take me a while yet (depending on mental health/writing pace/etc) to finish but I know how it ends, and most of how to get there. It’s also the third fanfiction I had ever started writing. The beginning feels rough to me when I go back to it (which an inevitable fact of my decision to post as I write/not use beta readers, which I still think was the only way for me to do this story), but I still think a lot of my ideas were clever and my execution may not have been perfect but it was pretty good. I’ve learned a lot while writing this fic.

And also I love to make people suffer. Knowing that people have shed literal tears because of things i have written fills me with the delightful glee to push forward. 

But really. Comments mean the world to me. They spur me on through rough patches where I otherwise abandon works. I’m really not used to having an audience: most of what I’ve written in my life is original content that I don’t post/share. Having other people also invested makes me feel accountable, in a good way. 

Other honorable mentions: I think Grief is one of my best fics in terms of execution and balance. Less a man than a wild cat and A Slip of the Tongue were both exercises in pacing/timing as well as forays into the highly unfamiliar territory of comedy. The aforementioned the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive satisfies my eternal desire for weird presentation and ideology taking a front seat over narrative structure (I have like. 4 other partial fics similar to this that will probably never be posted because I know they’re what I want to explore, not what other people actually want to read).

Your fic with the most kudos?

Fallout from the Fade, with 626.

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

I wish I was more consistent about sitting down and working. I managed it for 6 straight months when I started the fanfic gig, but to be fair, during that time I also had no friends and spent 5 days every other week camped out in Death Valley with no internet and nothing to do but write and brainstorm. Having the barest scrapings of a social life now that I’ve moved doesn’t do much for wordcount, it turns out.

Now something you do like?

I think I can write about mental illness realistically without it coming across as either overdramatic or idealistic. I like my descriptions, when I allow myself to use them (y’all don’t want to see how flowery most of my works would be without my self control). I have visibly improved since I started writing in 2015. 

i feel like a lot of my original circle on tumblr isnt active/writing anymore but gonna tag some people w/ no obligation… @leviathanmirror  @seekingidlewild @littleblue-eyedbird @loquaciousquark @kayla-bird and anyone else who wants to answer!! feel free to tag me if you do it, im lonely... 

[allenmendezsr]

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Attention! Social media experts agree, if you want to be successful online: “You have to be everywhere!” but….

From the Desk of Alex Krulik

Dear Online Entrepreneurs,

Social Media is the biggest thing ever. You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. Everywhere, it is: “Facebook this.” Twitter that”. YouTube is hot. And the latest social site is even hotter… It is a never ending list: LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, Steemit, Snapchat, Digg…

And they are important.

But not for the reason you think.

More on that in a minute…

Right now I want you to think about Facebook. It has 2 billion users. Of them, 1.1 billion are active on their Facebook mobile App every day. That is huge engagement.

You would have to be crazy to ignore Facebook in your marketing plan.

…Or Is It Crazy? Should You Actually IGNORE Facebook?”

As a successful entrepreneur, you probably look to Facebook to generate leads. And yes, it can be a good source of leads, but the brutal truth is: “Lead generation from Facebook is extremely difficult, time-consuming and a long term process”.

Why?

When you go to Facebook, what do you see?

Cute kitty memes? A coworker eating a donut? Photos of Aunt Millie’s vacation?

Face it. No one goes to Facebook looking to buy something. They are there to party, chat with their friends, laugh and socialize.

When they want to shop, they go to Amazon, not Facebook.

You are wasting a lot of time and money trying to get Facebook users to buy… It’s like trying to sell sand to Hawaiians. They are not interested.

Okay, Alexander, if Facebook is not the answer, what is?

We’re glad you asked.

When you need information, where do you turn to?

There really is only one answer:

The most valuable real estate online is the Number One result on Google.

That top spot gets 33% of the traffic for that search term.

Let’s do the math…

If 20,000 people search for “Wooden Spoons” today and your site is ranked number one, you get 6,600 visitors.

If you are fifth, you’ll still get 1,400 visitors. A major drop-off, but still not too bad…

However, look at what happens once you’re off the first page. Page One received 91.5% of the traffic. Page Three gets 1.1%. Now your traffic fire hose has slowed to a trickle…

The big question…

There are only two focuses for ranking on Google:

1) On Page Optimization 2) Off Page Optimization

On Page Optimization refers to the content you place on your web page, and includes, but is not limited to:

1) Heading Tags 2) Keywords and Keyword Density 3) Relevant content 4) Images 5) Embedded videos 6) Meta Tags 7) LSI – Latent Semantic Indexing (Don’t ask…) 8) And a few more factors…

A major factor of On Page Optimization is that it is what the searcher is looking for. Google tracks how long the searcher stays on your page. If they visit and immediately hit the Back Button, Google realizes that the page is not that good for that search term.

You can bet that since Google’s profits depend on giving very good results, that page won’t stay near the top if it is not relevant and the searchers leave too fast.

Bad content will knock you off the top faster than anything your competitor can do.

Good quality content is key.

Google decided, in its early days, that a hyperlink from one site to another site was a “Vote of Confidence”. Google ranked sites with more hyperlinks to it (backlinks) higher.

Of course, this was abused by spammers who pointed millions of links at sites they wanted to rank higher.

Google responded by becoming more picky about what hyperlinks it thought were important for ranking a page. Links for “Authority” sites became more powerful for ranking sites. No longer could you buy a $8 domain and put up hundreds of pages with links to your “Money” site expecting to rank higher.

It all comes down to…

What are “Authority” Sites?

While no one but Google knows the exact criteria, we do know the types of sites Google values:

Social sites, like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google Plus and about 150 similar sites.

These sites receive a lot of traffic and interaction by their users. Plus you have to join, which makes it more time consuming and difficult for spammers to take advantage of them.

So once you create great content, if you want to rank your site, you need more backlinks than your competitor.

The process is very simple:

1) Research and make a list of social sites. 2) Sign up and fill out the profiles on 150 social sites 3) Log into them individually and post a unique piece of content with a link 4) Add more profiles as one only will not likely be enough 5) Change your IP address through proxies so you look like an individual and not someone logging into multiple accounts to spam the site with backlinks 6) Post at all different times so your audiences around the world all see your posts 7) Did I mention that you will have to solve Captchas? Those irritating little images with hard to read text that seem to pop up all over the place

Yes, I said “Simple” but not easy…

It is a lot of work. If it takes 15 minutes to set up a profile, then for 150 profiles, you are looking at 37.5 hours of work. That is almost an entire work week just setting up accounts. Not only is that a ton of wasted time, it’s boring as hell.

And if you want multiple profiles? I hate to think about how long that will take.

Then you start posting on each account…

Doing it manually is a nightmare. You could hire a VA, but then you substitute doing the work for managing the work. Depending on your VA, this could end up being even more work.

Remind me again why we all got computers… Oh, yes, to do boring, repetitive work for us!

How would you like to…

The easy way to Share on Social Media

Manage social networks, publish status updates, bookmarks, blog posts, videos and more

Create Accounts and Publish content to 150+ social profiles at once!

If you are like me, you barely have time to post that cute Kitty meme, you thought was so funny, let alone the days of work to set up 150 profiles on social sites and figure our unique posts for each one.

You probably get more fulfillment out of designing a Social Media campaign, implementing it (or outsourcing the work once everything is set up), then watching your bank account overflow with cash…

Easy Backlinks is a fast, secure automation tool to submit content to the top Social Media Networks like Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Use Easy Backlinks to save time, automate your website’s content and engage your followers.

Whether you are an individual blogger, marketing manager or social media professional, Easy Backlinks makes it easy to auto-submit your content to all of the leading Social Communities.

YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE

Tired of logging into multiple social networks?

Now you can publish posts on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest and blogging sites, all from a single compose box. Schedule posts in advance with photos or videos attached – we even shorten the links for you.

Even tired of creating accounts on multiple social networks?

Easy Backlinks will automatically create your accounts

Nowhere else will you have this much traffic-pulling, ranking juice at your fingertips, especially in a ‘Set and Forget’ Campaign that works 24/7 for you, so you don’t have to.

But beware, the doors could close at any time.

Google, Facebook and the other traffic driving sites are always on the lookout for “shortcuts”, so while we do everything we can to keep the process working smoothly, we have to limit the number of people who use our system.

Which means one day, you’ll see a “Closed” sign on this page.

But right now is the perfect time to get massive backlinks and prove to yourself that this is THE opportunity you’ve been waiting for to start living the ideal online entrepreneur’s life as fast as possible.

Imagine having unlimited traffic coming to your sites on demand…

Just like these Beta Testers…

Let Me Count The Ways EasyBacklinks Helps Your Site Rank. . .

Automatically creates accounts for you on over 180 sites – saves massive time and money over manual account creation or hiring someone to create accounts for you. . .

Hides Your IP Address – creating multiple accounts from a single IP address is a recipe to get them banned. . . this feature of EasyBacklinks keeps accounts safe from detection

Syndicates Your Content to Over 100 High PR Sites – gain high quality backlinks hands-free with our simple-to-use automation tools

Solves Captchas – no need to pay for a separate captcha solving service because EasyBacklinks has its own captcha breaker

Drip Feeds Your Syndicated Content Over Days/Weeks/Months  – with EasyBacklinks, your link building looks completely natural to Google because its drip feed feature allows you to build controlled, slow and consistent links

Embeds Your Videos on Web 2.0 Sites – drive massive traffic to your sites from powerful video embeds on top-notch Web 2.0 sites

Syndicates Content To Your Blog Network – blog networks are the secret ranking weapons of SEOs . . . and EasyBacklinks will save you a ton of time posting content to your networks

Syndicates Content From Your Own RSS Feeds – helps build your sites traffic by distributing your best content via RSS to webmasters hungry for content in their industry

Blog Post, YouTube Video and Tweet Syndication –  build backlinks to your syndicated content for supercharged link juice to push your money sites to page 1!

Compatible With Any Device – manage your accounts from anywhere with an internet connection, from any mobile device or desktop

100% Web Based –  nothing to install. Accounts are created on our secure, redundant servers so your machine’s resources are never affected

A huge portion of Google’s profits comes from local search. When you are walking down the street and crave a pizza, what do you do? You pull out your phone and search pizza.

If you are in Chicago, you don’t want the address of a pizza joint in New York. Google uses your location to get you the best result. In order for that to happen, Google needs the exact address of local businesses.

Those addresses and phone numbers are called “Citations”.

Like backlinks, the more citations on popular sites and local directories the better. Unfortunately, the citations must be exactly the same.

If one citation has your address as #23 – 444 Hollywood Blvd, and another as Suite 23, 444 Hollywood Boulevard, then Google counts them as different places. And that is not good.

Easy Backlinks solves this by pushing the exact same citation to lots of sites automatically. And it becomes simply a matter of time before your site is on top.

Watch the video below:

This one was sent to us from a beta tester in Hawaii who used EasyBacklinks to rank his YouTube video in a very tough local niche.

The decision is up to you. No one is going to force you to do this.

But if you’re committed, and you’re willing to put your traffic on autopilot, I promise you’ll come out the other side a traffic ninja.

We work hard to keep the Easy Backlinks software running smoothly. Because the 150 plus social sites all constantly change their log in and access processes, we constantly update Easy Backlinks.

Because of this, we only offer Easy Backlinks on a monthly or annual basis. This ensures you get the best working platform possible.

*Publishing Credits are used in the following way: Publishing of one post – 1 credit. One automatic account creating – 10 credit.

You’ll be one step closer to success in the coming year.

Try the Full Membership Experience — Risk Free

So, please take the next few minutes to join the family … get access to the potentially life-changing software inside … experience what it means to be successful in traffic generation and search engine ranking … and lock-in your monthly or annual fee..

I know things change fast in business. If you ever find you need to back out of your membership, there are no strings attached. Just let us know, and we’ll cancel your membership right away.

There’s no risk in getting started today … and only success to gain.

Easy Backlinks is designed to meet you where you are and take you where you want to go …

And you can save a whopping 51% (a $405 savings or more) by grabbing the Easy Backlinks Gold annual membership. Think of what you could do with a massive 8,000 submissions a month!”

It’s everything you need to be as successful as you want to be as a traffic ninja in the online arena.

You could try and do it on your own, but why waste your precious time? When you could be on this “express elevator” that will help you explode your traffic in a few weeks … nab higher-profile niches … or take your profits to a new level.

Plus, your membership is guaranteed risk free.

It’s my hope you’ll join us … and become part of the growing Easy Backlinks family.

Committed to your online success!

Alex Krulik

*Automated account creation is available for premium users only

Frequently Asked Questions

Does Easy Backlinks work on PC and Mac?

YES! Because EasyBacklinks is cloud based you can use it on any computer or device.  You never have to download a thing!

Can I use Easy Backlinks on multiple computers?

Sure thing!  We put no restrictions on how many computers use your EasyBacklinks subscription.  So feel free to let your outsourcers access your account (although it’s so easy you may not need them anymore!)

I’ve used other backlinking software in the past, and needed to buy proxies, captcha credits and accounts – all the expenses added up fast! . . . So you’re saying I won’t need any of these with EasyBacklinks?

A. That’s exactly what I’m saying! Say goodbye to needing captcha services, proxies, a VPS and paying a VA to create accounts for you. Everything is included with your subscription at no extra charge.

I’ve heard using automated linking software can get your sites de-indexed. Care to comment?

It certainly can. However, I’ve taken every precaution this won’t happen to you if you activate your EasyBacklinks subscription. There’s no ‘spray-and-pray’ high velocity backlinking which can get you into hot water with Google because your links are drip fed. There’s also no tell-tale footprints to give away your sites to Google. Used as recommended, EasyBacklinks will keep your sites very safe. 

Will I get free updates to Easy Backlinks?

Of course! As we continue to improve and add featires you will be the first to know – and get access without another single penny spent!

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