#everyone gets a fair helping of trauma this go round

[shepscapades]

Your art has awakened something within me

Never have I looked at Xisuma and went 😳 but now……….

Xisuma kinda….

YOU AND ME BOTH BROTHER!!!

just wait til our fearless leader of hermitcraft, the man full of smiles and derpy energy, is scared witless with a rampaging murderous android on his hands!

[1d1195]

Ding - Round 6

Read Ding here | ~6.3k words

Warnings: some smut 18+ only, oral, fingering, cockwarming if you squint; angst, car accident, trauma dumping, sucky parental figure. Please read with caution. You might also see one of my cliffhangers.

From me: I feel like the beginning is messy to read--almost like it's out of nowhere? But it's pretty intentional, tbh. I hope it doesn't detract from the story. Hope you like it 💕

Summary: Cupcake and Harry are busy. Harry has his big fight. Cupcake was right about throwing her life out of balance by adding in a boyfriend. They miss each other. They don't know how to deal with that either. At least not while they're apart.

It was not Harry’s fault. Even though he thought it was.

But to be fair, it wasn’t her fault either. Even if she felt it was.

Harry grew into adulthood knowing he was stubborn. Everyone in his life told him so. It was obvious. He didn’t get to be an undefeated champion without grit. His entire gym was named as a near synonym of the word. But she continued to surprise him, and it was clear that he had very much met his match—she was competing for his crown of stubbornness. If Harry wasn’t so mad about his current state, he might even acknowledge that she was winning.

At first everything was new and completely fine. He was enamored with her. Finally she was all his. He took her on a real date—several real, authentic dates. He danced around with her in the bakery kitchen. Brought her food for movie nights in her apartment. (He also licked her when the movie lost his attention, and she looked too good to be sitting there without his head between her legs.) He even brought her bouquets of flowers simply because it was Monday.

She stayed at his place, wrapped close to him. It was as if they had done it for years. When he woke up early for a run, she joined him, assuring him to go ahead and circle back for her since he ran way better and faster than she did. But he enjoyed the way she massaged his muscles in the shower most. (The way she wrapped her hand around his dick most of all.) She made him breakfast before they left for work and Harry thought if the bakery wasn’t to her liking she could open a breakfast place as a second choice.

She chatted with Sarah while he worked out and trained. Without any kind of asking, she helped clean equipment when he needed to focus more on training. She organized his desk in his office because it was a disaster and it stressed her out. Whenever she cleaned, she hummed and didn’t notice. It made Harry fall deeper in love with her. Every moment he was with her was magical.

Until she was exhausted.

He missed her. For the first time in his life, he had felt completely in love with someone. The way he wanted to be in love. He finally had that. They were inseparable. Nights spent cocooned under Harry’s covers. His finger tracing her features in the dark. “So pretty,” he murmured.

“You can’t even see me,” she whispered.

“S’how I know you’re so pretty. Can feel it.”

So not having that for two weeks was like trying to swim through cement.

She had what could only be called a complete meltdown. Frosting and cupcakes everywhere. She was overwhelmed—said yes to too many functions in a row and spread herself too thin. She was frustrated with Harry and his time training and just missed him.

But she didn’t say it.

Because Harry was frustrated too. He tried to help her, but she didn’t let him in. There was the whole not knowing her family—even though she had effectively wormed her way into Mum and Gemma’s heart. Though he wasn’t surprised in the slightest; honestly, he thought his niece liked her more than Harry and she had only met her twice.

So, when she exploded, for lack of a better word, it was magnificent. It was nothing he had ever seen before. The exhaustion in her eyes, the worry on her face, the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Harry was sick with worry and frustration just to hear her cry but was nearly impressed. The cupcakes overturned on the floor were nothing in comparison to the way she cried.

“Cupcake, you are overreact—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” she hissed at him. That was entirely on him. Gem had taught him better than to tell a woman she was overreacting.

“Lemme take something off your plate, kitten,” he tried instead. He was ignoring her frustrated tears even though he wanted to brush them away. “Tell me what’s going on,” he figured it had something to do with her dad because she kept checking her phone and she hadn’t mentioned going to see him in over a week. But her car was overdue for an oil change, and she didn’t want to drive it that far but hadn’t a moment to deal with it. She also complained about something regarding her eyebrows, but Harry didn’t fully understand it because quite honestly, he had never thought about her eyebrows.

But if it meant caring for herself, he wished he pushed further.

Their schedules hadn’t lined up in two weeks. No more than an hour or two alone. She saw him plenty while she chatted with Sarah at the gym while he trained or worked. He and Maeve had started a competition of who could sprinkle the most cupcakes in fifteen minutes (Harry was willing to admit defeat once in his life—he would never beat Maeve) even though she didn’t like that they were having fun when she was stressed.

They hadn’t practiced her self-defense moves in nearly a month.

So, it felt like her fault.

But what she hadn’t anticipated was Harry’s sour attitude reflecting right back at her. Harry didn’t take her frustration lying down. He snapped back at her which felt so heinous to do but he was grumpy.

But he was tired of arguing with her. Tired of feeling frustrated, begging her to let him in when it was obvious she didn’t want to. So, for the first time in his life, he stopped fighting.

It pained him to no end. He could see in her eyes that she was exhausted. It hurt him so badly. Each time he said, “Whatever, Cupcake,” he felt like the worst boyfriend in the world for not taking her frustration away. But she wouldn’t let him in. She wouldn’t let him take away her frustration. It was like she wanted to argue with him. It was entirely unfair, but she was mad about his indifference. It didn’t make any sense for her to be mad when she had just as much blame to take for his sour mood.

“Why don’t you just go home?” She suggested. Bitterness coated every word.

“Yeah?” Harry looked up at her from his phone, his eyes narrowed. She could see his muscles tense like they were in the ring, and she was aiming for his head. “Jus’ leave?” He repeated.

“Obviously you don’t want to be here,” she muttered.

He slid back from the table, the chair scraping against the floor with a screech that made her teeth hurt. “No, cupcake,” he shook his head and made his way for the door. She hated itwhen he said the sweet name like that. She knew it wasn’t her nickname when he said it. It wasn’t filled with the love he liked. It was sarcastic. Mean. It hurt her more than an actual punch would have, she was sure. “You don’t want me here,” his voice was low. She closed her eyes, trying to keep as calm as possible. It was hard because she was anything but calm. But she said nothing. “You don’t want me in your life,” he snapped finally letting all the emotion out that had been building over the last week. “You keep things from me. You build up walls that I can’t break down. Every time I get to the top y’add another layer of bricks.”

She stayed silent.

“Go on, cupcake. Say m’wrong,” he challenged. “Say y’let me in.”

But both knew she couldn’t say it.

It was eerily quiet in the kitchen. The pinch of Harry’s brow made her sad. She wanted to smooth it out with a kiss. “Tell me to stay,” he whispered quietly.

But she couldn’t say that either.

“Yeah,” he sighed and turned. “S’what I thought.”

*

Maeve wondered if her best friend was going to have a heart attack a lot during her time at A Pinch of Sprinkles. The opening in town nearly sent her to the ER. She was running on fumes at the time. Christmas always made her anxious. Anytime they were chosen for a wedding also had Maeve worrying about her medical history. But in comparison, those were nothing. If Maeve had known what not talking to Harry would do to her, she would have told her that Christmas was a tropical vacation.

Harry stopped coming to see her.

“Did...” she swallowed, nervous to infuriate her best friend further but out of care for her, she had to know. “Is... Harry still...”

She glared at the cupcakes she was frosting, squeezing the icing bag a little too tightly. “I don’t know,” she grumbled. She hadn’t gotten a text from him nor seen him in a week after she told him to leave.

Maeve’s heart cracked. “Babe,” Maeve murmured softly.  “He... he adores you... what happened?”

She shook her head unwilling to go over it again. The nights were filled with tear-soaked pillowcases, and she was exhausted from stress and crying. “I just can’t be in a relationship. It’s too much.”

Of course.

Maeve was sick of her best friend’s loneliness. “That is bullshit,” Maeve rolled her eyes. “Did you push him away?”

“Maeve, shut the fuck—”

“Oh, good luck pushing me away, babe. No,” she shook her head and grabbed the bag of frosting from her hands and threw it at the sink to gain her attention.

“I was wor—”

Maeve ignored her words and continued on with her own. “I might not be a boxer, but I can take a punch or two all the same. You pushed him away. Now you’re sulking. You’ve been punishing yourself for so long because you think you don’t deserve to be happy. Harry did nothing but love you and try to help you and you wouldn’t let him—”

“I am going to fire you,” she muttered bitterly. Harry never said he loved her anyway. How could he love her after all that? How could he love her if he didn’t even know the truth?

Maeve continued anyway, immune to her threat because she knew that wasn’t true at all. “You deserve to be happy, and Harry made you happy. That scares you,” she finished.

Angry tears filled her eyes and she ground her teeth together.

“You’re not going to say anything?”

Maeve was her best friend and knew more about her and her family than anyone. “I don’t get happy things.”

“But you do. You have me, number one,” she snorted, fortunately. The tension eased just the slightest bit. “You have this bakery. And more importantly, you have a guy that is so crazy about you, he has been calling me every night to make sure you’re home safe and sound.” Her heart fluttered. She didn’t know that.

“Every time I love someone, they go away,” she whispered.

Maeve felt nothing but sympathy for her sweet friend. “You have to give Harry a chance. You have to tell him why you’re doing this. I have a good feeling about him,” Maeve reminded her. For the first time in a week, she felt her body untense.

“He calls you?” She asked.

“Every night.”

She bit the inside of her lip. “That’s nice,” she whispered.

Maeve nodded. “Really nice,” she agreed. “Plus, he’s like super hot. Did you even sleep with him yet?” She blushed at her words and reached for a new frosting bag out of the fridge. “You bitch! You didn’t tell me?!” Maeve screeched. She smacked her arm repeatedly. “Tell me everything! When did you do it? Where did you do it? Harry must have a massive dick, right? I feel like he’s—”

“Maeve,” she laughed. The first time in a week. It felt good to laugh. “I...”

“No, you have to spill. Something.”

Her cheeks were flaming. “I think I’m addicted to it,” she whispered.

“Thank. God.”

*

Harry refused to go back to the bakery for the rest of the week uninvited. His workout sessions were horrific. Louis yelled at him for missing his marks and he felt everything about his footwork was sloppy. The way she ignored him made him feel terrible. But naturally, he didn’t help either. He hadn’t texted her in over a week.

But it didn’t stop Harry from waking up to a call at eleven thirty at night.

“What?” He grumbled. He didn’t want to fight. He was tired of arguing with her and was tired of being frustrated. She would have to do the work if she was going to try and fix this when he needed sleep.

The sound of her shaky breath snapped his eyes open. “Can you come get me?” She croaked.

That did him in within seconds. The vulnerability in her voice. “Cupcake, s’matter?” He was awake instantly. It wasn’t sarcastic. It was her name. The one he used that made her feel adored. It was sweet and made her feel better almost as if he was already at the bakery. He quickly slid into trainers that he didn’t even untie; the back of the heel was smushed down and uncomfortable against his foot, but it didn’t matter. Her sniffling made him insane with worry. It was like the last few weeks hadn’t happened. “Kitten, talk to me,” he ordered. His heart racing and his fear taking over. He wasn’t sure he locked his door, and he was lucky he even remembered to grab his car keys before he descended the stairs to the parking lot.

“I’m alright,” she promised, tears filling most of her voice.

“Y’don’t sound alright.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

“Cupcake, I swear t’God,” he threw his car into drive before it was fully turned on.

“I just miss you. I’m sad and scared. Okay? I’m physically fine, but I’m a mess. I want you here,” her voice wobbled, and Harry felt like he was breaking. “Please,” she sniffled.

Harry felt crushing relief and he watched the needle on Clay’s speedometer lower from a felony charge to a healthy speeding ticket.  “M’five minutes away, kitten. Stay put.”

“Okay,” her voice was quiet, sad but Harry didn’t mind.

“You’re okay?” He repeated. She nodded. He couldn’t see that though. “Cupcake?”

“I’m okay,” she promised, it was punctuated by a sniffle.

His heart felt so broken feeling the anguish in her voice. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered to the phone. “I wasn’t nice,” he mumbled.

“It’s hard,” she whispered. The remainder of his drive was silent. Just her sniffles and the hum of his tires on the road to accompany the small miles between them. Harry sprinted to her bakery door. She was there pacing the front and unlocked it as he approached. Harry dropped his phone right inside the entryway, the bell signaling his arrival, finally.

Within one second of crossing the threshold, she was in his arms. The door only clicked shut once he was around her. His face buried in her hair, his arms tightening around her like he was trying to keep her afloat in the middle of the ocean. “M’here,” he hummed. “M’here, Cupcake,” he promised. She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart finally slowing after so much anxiety had plagued her over the last couple of weeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he assured her. “S’okay.”

“It’s so hard,” she repeated, herself from the phone call. Harry wished they were home. Even though it was late and private Harry wanted the comfort of her bed or his sofa to let her fall apart. The bakery was warm, but he wanted pillows for her head and blankets for her body to comfort her while she whispered secrets to him.

“I know, kitten. I know s’hard. But I... I adore you, Cupcake. Don’t y’know that? What do y’think all this is between us? I want t’meet your dad. He’s obviously a huge part of your life... and keeping secrets from me? S’not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair.”

“You know everything ‘bout me. S’like I don’t get t’know anything ‘bout you. Do y’think I’m suddenly not going to like you? I assure you that’s never going t’happen.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know what I did.”

“What could you possibly have done? You’re made of sugar, Cupcake. You have to let me in. I told you everything. You know my family. You know my friends. You know why I bought Driven and why I have been fighting since I was ten years old. You have kept me out of everything. I don’t even know why you opened A Pinch of Sprinkles. I know you have a dad. You never talk about your mom. I don’t know about your childhood best friend or your favorite pet. There are these walls you keep up and I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to break them down.”

“You don’t eat cupcakes when you’re sad,” her jaw shakes as she pulls from him. The space between them feels worse than the last few weeks without her combined. It’s cold and lonely. More so than not speaking to her. More so than not sleeping beside her. His heart hurt instantly. But not as much as it hurt to watch her lower lip move almost independently of the rest of her face.

“Cupcake, what does that have t’do—”

But before he could finish his thought Harry could see it did have to do with what he just asked about. The way her eyes were shining with tears. It felt like someone clipped his vocal cords. All words escaped him, and he just stared at her as she continued. “You eat them at baby showers, weddings, and at birthday parties,” she listed. Harry stayed quiet. “You don’t eat them when your mom leaves when you’re six years old because it’s too much to be a mom,” her voice was so broken as she spoke. Harry felt her pain in the air. Like needles stabbing every inch of his exposed skin. It seemed impossible that someone wouldn’t want her. To willingly choose to leave her. Her mum no less. She was looking at her hands like they were going to give her the answer to a test she forgot to study for. “You don’t eat them at funerals or when you break your arm,” she continued. Harry wondered who had died and which arm she had broken and how. “You eat them when you get a good grade on your math test or on an anniversary.” Harry’s heart was breaking. He always wondered about the things she kept hidden in her personal life and she laid it out right there for him. In the one place that she probably loved more than anywhere else on earth. “You don’t eat them when you’re sick or sad. They’re for when you’re happy. You can’t be sad while eating sprinkles.”

It clicked effortlessly. Obviously. “A pinch of sprinkles,” he murmured softly. He crossed the space that separated them. Immediately, he cupped her cheeks in his hands, they felt cool compared to the warmth that emanated from her skin. Hot, frustrated tears started to spill over. He swiped at them with his thumbs below her eyes in tandem. He caught as many as he could but there was an overwhelming number of teardrops. It was impossible for him to keep them all from falling in rivers down her face.

She nodded. Her tears continued to spill over, rolling down her cheeks and sliding down his thumbs as he tried to stop them. “A pinch of sprinkles,” she repeated softly. She inhaled sharply. Turning against his hands holding her in place. A new wave of anguish crossed her face that Harry didn’t know could exist on someone’s face—especially not her perfect features. All the art museums he went to in university for his art history requirement made sense. The distortion of features on someone so beautiful was right before him. He understood. “You don’t eat cupcakes when your dad is in a car accident and becomes paralyzed from the neck down because you were too tired to drive even though you were the one that wanted to go to the drive-in and the only thing you can do is bring him to an entirely new town with a place to help him the way he deserves because it’s never going to be enough to thank him or repay him or—” the words were cut off by sobs that she could no longer control. Her heart was breaking right in front of him.

Harry knew how to fight. He knew how to stand with poise and grace that no one would expect a boxer to have. He knew how to throw punches that could knock a grown man out in one hit. The correct form to kick was ingrained in his mind from when he was ten years old.

Harry didn’t know how to begin to fight her sadness.

“Cupcake,” he whispered. She covered her mouth and the noise that came out of her body was so sad, so broken. Harry wondered how she could still be standing. Harry always thought he was pretty tough. That stubborn nature of his thought he was one of the toughest people in a room.

But he wasn’t. Not even close.

The pretty, sweet girl who was constantly covered in sugar and frosting—she was the strongest person he knew.

He couldn’t begin to imagine what she went through—how she still coped with it. It was a miracle she got in a car ever again. She was braver than he ever was or could be. “And he doesn’t hate me,” she whispered through her sobs. “My mom left him because of me. He is in a wheelchair and unable to live a normal life because of me.”

“Kitten,” he warned worried she would work herself up too much beyond his ability to help her. Harry was an idiot for making her feel this. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. If he only knew...

“Why doesn’t he just hate me?” She whimpered and Harry finally pulled her into his embrace. Her tears immediately soaked his shirt. She got snot all over him and Harry just kept her close to him he let her cry for longer than he ever wanted her to, but it felt good to hold her again. Regardless of the pain.

“How could anyone hate you, Cupcake?" he asked after a minute.

“I hate me,” she whispered. The question was rhetorical, but she responded anyway.

He kissed the top of her head. “If I had a kid like you... S’not anything I wouldn’t do for them. Your dad doesn’t regret that.”

“Of course he does,” she sniffled. “I couldn’t even take care of him.”

“It wasn’t your job, Cupcake.”

“But it was my faul—”

“Take me t’meet him,” he interrupted.

She blinked, confused. “What?”

“Take me to meet him. Y’go every week, yeah? Take me,” he asked. She felt so vulnerable. Her heart felt heavy.

“Meet him?” She whispered. Harry didn’t even comment that she repeated him again.

He nodded. “He saved your life for me, Cupcake. M’sure of it. S’least I could do t’meet him.”

Her heart felt something dangerously close to hope enveloping it. It was too good to be true. Her dream job, a cute apartment, a best friend, and the perfect guy. “You don’t hate me?”

He scoffed and buried his face in her neck. He missed her smell—vanilla and sugar (although he wasn’t sure that was truly her natural scent but merely from spending so much time in the kitchen). He missed her voice and the warmth he felt just holding her in his arms. “Christ, Kitten. Course not.”

“But I was so... awful. And I... I ruined his life. I'm cursed or something. I'll... I'll ruin your life too.”

"Sweetheart," he cooed. "Y'don't really believe that, do you?"

"I'm not a good luck charm, Harry."

"You are, Cupcake. You are the luckiest thing s'ever happened to me."

She looked at him miserably. "I've done nothing but made your life confusing and hell."

He pulled back a little so he could get a clearer look at her face. He smiled. The first genuine smile he felt in a week. “I can take a punch every now and again,” he promised. “Think Louis would say I could be knocked down a peg or two every once in a while,” he winked.

It wasn’t fixed. But she looked slightly less broken. She felt a little more whole. Harry’s smile did wonders for her.

*

The next day, Harry stood in the hall outside of the dining room. Other residents were in various activities, but her dad sat in his chair, slumped slightly, and he smiled at her entrance.

“Dad,” she said softly sitting across from him.

“Busy week you had it seems,” he smiled.

She blushed. “I know. I’m so sorry. I should have called. It was one thing after another—it’s no excuse I should have been here, and I was—”

“Honey,” he shook his head slightly, one of the few movements he retained from the crash. “You’re living a life. It’s okay.”

Her heart broke to see him in his chair. Unable to live the same kind of life.

“I... brought... something.”

“Something or someone?”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t see a cupcake box, so this must trouble,” he joked, smiling brightly.

“Harry is here. He wanted to meet you,” she explained.

“He wanted to? What about you?” He asked. She looked at him nervously. Her eyes said everything she didn’t say out loud. Her dad continued to smile. “Well, it’s about time, honey.”

She rolled her eyes and waved him over. Harry hurried, stepping right beside his wheelchair. Without hesitating, he grabbed her dad’s limp hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you sir,” he said shaking it firmly with both hands. When the handshake was through, Harry ever so gently placed his hand back on the arm rest of his chair.

Her dad smirked and winked at the sweet girl. “I’d offer you my seat, Harry, but I’m afraid I’m stuck in it.”

“Jesus Christ,” she covered her hand over her eyes.

Harry chuckled, taking the seat on the side of the table between them. “No problem, sir,” he assured him, taking the joke in stride. Adoration for them both squeezed around her heart. “Cupcake, do y’mind getting us some water?” She blinked in surprise. Normally, Harry wouldn’t let her lift a finger.

“Oh... um... sure,” she said and hurried off to find a nurse to help.

“Cupcake?” Her dad repeated.

“Yes, sir. She’s quite sweet like one,” he smiled gently. Her dad stared Harry down for a moment. Not maliciously. Just watching. Waiting. If they were in the ring, they would have been eyeing one another waiting for someone to make a move.

Her dad made the first one. “She said you wanted to meet me.”

Harry nodded. “I adore your daughter. With everything in me. M’going t’protect her every moment of every day. I wanted you t’hear that from me. I wanted you t’know that.”

“She can be a little feisty sometimes,” he warned, but the smile didn’t leave his face.

“M’aware,” he didn’t want to tell him about their stalemate over the last few weeks. That didn’t matter anymore and it wouldn't paint either of them in a good light.

“She said you have a big match coming up.”

He nodded. “Yes, sir. Biggest one of m’career.”

“Think you’ll win?” He asked.

Harry was confident. But he didn’t like to let his confidence overinflate his chances or make himself sound presumptuous. Anything could happen. But he was going to try his hardest and best. That would be good enough for him. “I believe so. I’ve worked hard for this. I want it more than most anything,” he promised.

“Most?” Just like his daughter, he caught the key word.

“Most,” he repeated. There was a significant pause as Harry considered his next thoughts. The words he didn’t want to explain but what he wanted her dad to know anyway. “Did she tell you about Jack?” Harry asked quietly.

The name didn’t ring a bell. He shook his head. “No. She doesn’t always tell me everything.”

Harry smiled sadly. “At least she’s consistent,” he murmured. “My manager Louis and I teach self-defense classes... she joined one several months ago,” he let another pause tell her dad the words he didn’t want to say. The story he probably shouldn’t be telling him in the first place. “M’confident she could protect herself. But m’hoping she won’t ever have to. M’going t’keep her safe,” he assured him. “I promise.”

He could only imagine the wave of emotions that took over his brain. Harry obviously wasn’t a father, but he didn’t need to be one to know he would murder someone for his daughter. Paralysis or not. “And you?” He asked quietly. Digesting the bit of information Harry alluded to.

“Me?” Harry repeated.

“Are you going to hurt her?”

“Never,” he assured him. “I’d... I’d take a bullet for her,” he promised.

“Speaking from experience, that might hurt her more than just letting her take the bullet,” he chuckled and winked. Harry snorted but nodded.

“Understood.”

She returned with three glasses of water and an extra long straw for her father. “You guys sharing war stories about me?”

“I was jus’ ‘bout t’tell him how you’re trying t’fatten me up with raspberry lemon filling,” Harry stood and held her chair out for her to sit.

“You are more than capable of saying no to cupcakes, Harry.”

“I beg to differ, honey. It’s a sin to say no to them,” her dad smiled. “A sin to say no to you,” he winked again.

*

Their reunion in Harry’s home was carnal to say the least. Harry missed being inside her. He wanted to fall asleep with her wrapped around his dick. Harry had spent many years of his teens taking care of his own sexual needs and yet somehow the weeks apart from her were worse than all those years combined.

Perhaps it was the noises she made. Begging Harry for a release. Her body craved his. It felt like a part of her had been missing for the duration of their silly stalemate. It may have only been a few weeks, but it was a few weeks without orgasms made possible by Harry’s mouth, fingers, and dick.

“I wanna stay inside you the rest of m’life,” he moaned into her ear in the middle of the night. They would both be tired in the morning. Louis would probably hate her (even though Harry assured her that was impossible) but it was worth it.

*

They started going over her self-defense moves again in between dinner and TV shows. Harry was encouraging. Making sure she followed the right move and not her instinct. Correcting her form and making sure she knew he would always be there for her. She told him more secrets that made Harry feel so whole.

She watched him train. Harry walked her to her car after falling asleep on the table in the bakery kitchen. They hadn’t spent a night apart since Harry met her dad. They fell asleep watching a movie or show nearly every night. Harry would simply lift her in his arms and carry her to the bedroom. She would coax him out of his slumber and snuggle up to him as they made it to a more comfortable position in bed.

That was the case one week prior to Harry’s big fight.

He had fallen asleep in her lap (after he had lazily brought her to orgasm with nothing more than stroking his finger messily around her clit. Simply because he could and thought her sleep shorts looked lonely without his hand inside them). Now he had an arm wrapped around her waist, face nuzzled against her T-shirt. “I love you, Cupcake,” he mumbled sleepily. She ignored it. Thought that maybe he was asleep because surely someone so big and strong—someone so scary yet boyish—couldn’t love her after all she put him through. No matter how good her mouth was on his dick. “Hear me, kitten?” He asked rolling to look up at her.

She smiled, blushing. “I heard you, thought you were sleeping.”

“Well, I love you in m’sleep, too,” he turned again, rubbing his nose against her shirt. She giggled, rubbing her fingers through his hair and massaging scalp. She was so enamored and so surprised she felt speechless. “So you’re supposed t’say it back,” he turned and looked up at her. “Unless...y’don’t feel the same way...or I said it too soon or something and it’s—”

“Oh no way,” she assured him. “I love you very much,” she laughed and brought her face down to his and kissed him.

*

The morning of his fight, they woke up early. Harry headed into the shower, and she followed right behind him. With a sleepy smile he enjoyed the feel of her mouth on him as he always did, gripping her hair in his hands while he thought about how a $100,000 would change his life and allow him to spoil her.

But after a healthy breakfast (and another blowjob from beneath the table while he ate because she simply thought he deserved a relaxed morning) there was no use denying it.

Harry was grumpy.

By the time they got to Driven, he snapped at her a few times (more than a few times) and she took it like a champ. In fact, she was planning on ignoring it entirely. It wasn’t his fault. Stress was natural on a day like today. His warmup wasn’t supposed to be heavy the day of a massive fight like this even though he tested Louis’ patience to no end.

“Again,” he snarled at Louis. Louis looked at her for support.

“Baby, you need—”

“I said, again. I know what m’doing,” he growled ignoring her.

Louis let him have one more round of practice. But it was Louis’ comments on his attitude that he found her around lunch time in his office setting up a light lunch from one of his favorite restaurants nearby. Tail between his legs. “M’sorry I snapped, kitten. S’jus’ the nerves.”

She smiled. “I know, baby. It’s okay.”

“S’not okay, though.”

She shook her head grinning at him. “I’ll yet at you later when you eat the frosting off my cupcakes.”

He nodded. “M’gonna hold you to that,” he promised.

“I know it’s silly to say. But don’t be nervous. You’re going to win, I can feel it,” she assured him and draped herself in his lap while he ate his carrot sticks.

“Course. M’good luck charm will be there,” he brushed his finger on her cheek.

“You know, I hate when you get hit. It's been my least favorite part of this whole experience.”

He shrugged. “So, I won’t get hit,” he smiled knowingly.

She laughed. “I don’t think I’m much of a good luck charm when you were already undefeated when I met you,” she reminded him.

He felt everything soften in him. The tenseness, the anger, and the frustration all disappeared. “Oh, kitten,” he shook his head. “You have been m’good luck charm for so much more than boxing matches.”

*

Louis was ready to explode with anger. Part of her wondered if he had ever followed through on his threats of getting in the ring to throw punches at Harry. She thought it might be cathartic for him. Before she can blink, the introductions are over. The sound of the bell chimes through the arena room.

Ding

Round one was over and she was holding her breath so she seriously considered the idea that she had blacked out and missed it. But Niall had murmured to her that he didn’t get hit once and she felt so proud, so excited. The kind of money Harry was going to win would do incredible things for his life. Maybe in addition to holding her breath, she had squeezed her eyes shut and turned to Niall.

His opponent was big, strong. He wasn't facing Harry because he wasn't good. It terrified to think the kind of damage an opponent like him could do to him.

“Looks like he forgot extra towels,” Niall murmured to her bringing her back to reality. She could see the irritation in Louis’ eyes and Harry holding his hands up with the gloves. How did y’expect me t’grab them? She could imagine him grumbling back only further irritating Harry. There was enough for the time being but she knew they would go through a stack of them in no time at all.

“I’ll get them,” she offered standing waving at him in some silent sign language neither discussed but Louis knew what it meant. He looked the slightest bit more relaxed by her standing. Part of her thought for the first time in their relationship he didn’t hate her. Even though Harry assured her repeatedly that he didn't. (He was utterly kind to her throughout the self-defense classes and when Harry reminded her of such, she alluded to the fact that she paid for that kindness.)

“Cupcake, you’re the best,” Niall squeezed the back of her arm as he stayed put. “Want me to come with you?” He asked.

“No, I got it,” she smiled. “I’m going to use the bathroom and hit the concession stand too. So, if I’m not back at the end of the next round I didn’t fall in the laundry basket,” she promised. Niall chuckled and waved her off.

After going to the bathroom and making her way back to the locker room, flashing her badge around her neck, she found the extra towels laid out. The noise was deafening—even from inside the locker room. She grabbed an armful's worth and made her way toward the entrance to the arena.

When she turned around, the last person she ever thought she’d see was waiting just inside the door. The volume behind him hadn’t changed. But she swore in that moment, the crowd, the bell, the thudding of her heart, everything got louder.

She knew he was trying to intimidate her just by standing there. There wasn’t a single person around. Everyone was in that arena. Her legs felt like lead, but she walked forward anyway. The towels in her arms provided extra space between them as she started to walk right past him. “Excuse me,” she muttered.

He’s just trying to intimidate me. She repeated to herself.

“Round two is about to begin!” She heard announced from behind the door followed by a delighted cheer.

It was nothing.

Jack was just trying to scare her. She hadn't done anything wrong.

All she needed to do was walk by him confidently. Then she would watch Harry win life-changing money. She was home free. Leaning into the door, the metal bar squeaking as it released the hold on the frame to let her through to the main room.

But at the last second, the towels fell from her arm in a heap as he grabbed her arm and yanked her away from the door. “I don’t think so.”

Round two was starting.

Ding.

taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

@straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals

@angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams

@summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland

@lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles

@tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter

@kissitnhekitchen @kittenhere @stylesfever @indierockgirrl @michellekstyles

@just-another-reader1098 @hermionelove @tiredinwinter @whimsy-willows @hannah9921

@fangirl7060

ding: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @vikiii07

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[sleepy-sirin]

Incarnation (Honkai Star Rail x Child! Herrscher! Reader)

Summary: In which Y/n, the creation of Will of Honkai, successfully defeated her own creator with the help of her friends. After defeating the Will of Honkai, for using too much of her power she goes into a deep sleep.

Previous | Next chapter

Chapter 6

Third POV:

Everyone took out their weapons and start fighting. Each of the Silvermane Guards attacks the Trailblazers one by one. The guards didn't want to hurt Y/n since she's a child, but it went backfire when she summons her tentacles and wrapped their bodies then suffocate them to death.

One of the Silvermane Guards who remembered you, suddenly got a trauma upon seeing your tentacles, they decided to not to approach you and avoided you.

All of the Silvermane Guards were all defeated and too tired to fight. Bronya seeing the guards was unable to fight again, so she decided to do it herself. It took 30 minutes to finish off their fight.

"This girl's pretty strong... Hey Dan Heng, maybe now's a good time to show off your secret strength!?" March said.

"...You first." Dan Heng said to March.

"Ugh, you're no fun." March said.

"Intruders, give it up! You will be guaranteed a fair trial." Bronya said.

"Ooh! Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the intensity of the moment~" A familiar voice said.

Three smoke bombs were thrown in front of them, as it exploded, the five of them started coughing from the smoke.

*Gasp* "What is this?" Bronya said as she covers her nose from the smoke.

"...I can't breathe..." March said.

Sampo appears from the four of them. "I have one thing to say: Sampo never lets friends who've helped him come to harm."

"I say what I mean... and I mean what I say." He said.

After the smoke was gone, the only ones who were conscious were Sampo, Dan Heng, and Y/n.

"So you decided to come back after you ditched us." Y/n said as she crosses her arms.

"Sorry, but hey! Sampo is here to save you guys!" Sampo said.

Sampo carries Stelle and Dan Heng carries March. The five of them left, leaving Bronya alone.

"Where are we going?" Dan Heng asked.

"Boulder Town, that's where I lived." Sampo said.

They have arrived in Boulder Town, which it is in the underground in Belobog. Sampo said that they will go to a clinic to take their friends who was unconscious a rest.

"Natasha, I'm back! And we have some guests here." Sampo said as he greeted someone. A middle-aged woman with purple eyes and fair complexion. She has blue-gray hair that's bob-like in front with two symmetric strands reaching her shoulders, the back tied in a ponytail.

"Sampo, who are they?" Natasha asked.

"These guys are my new friends." Sampo said.

"We're not your friends." Both Y/n and Dan Heng said.

Y/n didn't want to be here, so she decided to leave the clinic quietly without anyone noticing her. She roams around Boulder Town and noticed that some of the citizens here were whispering behind her back.

A few couple of steps, Y/n hears footsteps behind her, as she turned around a two Vagrants aim their weapons on Y/n. Someone appeared in front of them, they aim their scythe at the Vagrants.

"You dare attack someone on our turf...? Well? How about a few rounds with me?"

A young woman with long purple hair and light purple eyes. She wears a purple scarf with red and white details, as well as a white, black and purple outfit with black shorts. Y/n eyes widened as she saw someone familiar with her, and it was Seele Vollerei.

The Vagrants didn't want to deal with Seele, as they decided to leave them alone.

"Hey, kid. Are you okay." Seele asked.

"I'm fine. Thank you for saving me, Seele." Y/n whisper her name.

Y/n didn't think that she would meet Seele again, after she saw her and Sin Mal sacrifice their selves by combining their power to create a massive explosion killing and getting rid of all Honkai around them.

Flashback

"Are you still crying, Seele?" Sin Mal asked.

*sniffles* "That's enough. I have decided that I will no longer be cowardly and sad... If I have to say it, I'm afraid that such a large-scale quantization ability... is actually unrealizable." Seele said.

For the ability to function in the interior of the moon, Seele and Sin Mal must continue to go deeper and deeper.

To extend her ability to stop time, Sin Mal asked Seele to transform herself into a quantum object.

"It's okay, Seele. It must be possible. Until the end, I will always be by your side." Sin Mal said.

Clocks and gears fell off

Sin Mal was reaching her limit.

"Isn't there a price for all this?"

“Overuse of abilities, the user will get tired, life will be shortened, and the user will die…”

"That's all."

Until the end of her life, Sin Mal finally discovered that what she really wanted to do was accept her fragile self.

Seele and Sin Mal left text messages before leaving to let others know what they had done.

At the end of their lives, both of them thought at the same time——

"Sister Mei, Kyuushou."

"We have a million reluctances."

"We are not willing to leave Sister Bronya to mourn our deaths."

"We ourselves don't want to make sacrifices, whether they are required sacrifices or careless ones."

"But... we don't want to live like this."

"Are we really so small and helpless?"

"Does all our suffering really have meaning as long as it's mixed with precious memories?"

"Born for the wrong reasons, in the wrong world"

"Are they really worth saving?"

"We think it's worth it."

"Because it is us"

"It's also a world where everyone lives."

"For all the pain and trauma in this world, there are still people who are painfully living and breathing"

"To reach the time when everything is paid off"

"To achieve a victorious future"

"Whatever it takes."

"We all want to bring back the miracle called hope."

"This is—our last wish,"

"Let the Will of Honkai see——"

"The power of falling stars!"

Taglist: @starxao

[dirtytransmasc]

do you have any ao'nung and tsireya bonding w their new brother, spider, hcs?? <3

I had almost finished writing this post out, and then my computer died, and I wanna scream. anyway

both siblings are good kids, so when their parents take spider in and tell them to treat him as one of their own, they do it. spider is their baby brother (we don't know ao'nung or tsireya's ages, so they might be younger, but I don't care, spider's the baby of the family as far as I'm concerned) from the second he's brought into their home

tsireya is the sweet supportive sister from the very beginning, she loves having another baby brother to coddle and annoy (cause that's what big sisters are good for). ao'nung is the pain in the ass big brother who would die before someone harms a hair on his head.

tsireya is the empathetic, emotional protector sibling; she helps keep him grounded, gives him a rock to hold onto when he can't go to their parents, since his sort of parental trauma doesn't just go away easy, no amount of proper parenting with undo it, so sometimes he needs someone in his corner when his mind gets the best of him. ao'nung is more of physical protector, he makes sure no one messes with his baby brother, that he takes care of himself, and that he doesn't push himself too far.

tsireya is normally the one who follows him when he sulks off, and it always works out the same way; she goes to find him, sits next to him without saying a word, and then waits for him to fall against her before she wraps her tail around him. sometimes she starts humming or singing, sometimes they talk, other times they just sit and listen to the water or the forest. he feels safe to just feel and react and cry when he's with her.

ao'nung is his partner in crime, they're attached at the hip, constantly butting heads, and always ready for chaos. ao'nung taught spider everything he knows about their culture, diplomacy, leadership, and mischief; so not only are they good at pissing each other off, but they're good at breaking havoc against any poor unfortunate soul, and getting away with it (they're best friends and it shows)

when spider first joins the village, but was not yet adopted, tsireya tries to be kind and welcoming, as she did with the sully's joining the village. ao'nung does the same, in the way that he treats spider like he did the sully's; he antagonizes cause he's a stupid teenager. he hits a sore spot fast and see's spiders true nature very quickly. he thought that spider was a relatively well-rounded kid like him, thought he could take a couple jabs here and there, he didn't know how badly he had been alienated his whole life, so the few stabs at spider's human nature revealed how sad and anxious he was, how hard he tried to fit in. he's pretty protective after that, so you can only imagine how he reacted when he found out how spider was treating himself, and how he was being treated by the sully's after neteyam's death.

when spider goes through his mental and physical burnout, its ao'nung that won't leave his side; he practically force feeds him when he won't eat, is constantly offering him water, watching him sleep, forcing him to clean himself up. he makes sure he won't lose another brother (spider's body gave out during the clean up of the battle, ao'nung subsequently witnessed it, and after losing neteyam, it made him feel a certain type of way).

ao'nung and tsireya were the first people to get spider to smile again.

spider brings out tsireya's competitive streak, they always have some sort of petty bet going on between them; who can finish chores first, who can piss off ao'nung first, etc.

ao'nung and spider, no matter how they present themselves, are fair, intelligent, competent leader's. they are s perfect duo when it comes to helping tonowari maintain the village during the war times and they're are constantly surprising everything everyone with how serious they can be at times.

spider likes to show his siblings his live by making them things or doing their hair. he likes quiet time with his loved ones.

ao'nung and spider are a mirror image of neteyam and lo'ak respectively, and it makes them both a little sad, and it chills the Sully's to their cores.

when they sleep together as a family, the kids sleep between their parents, with spider in the very middle, cause they all know that boy needs all the cuddles.

[georgies-ftts]

⚠️Does contain The Sun and The Star spoilers so continue at your own risk!!!⚠️

I don’t know when Will Solace became one of my favourite Percy Jackson characters but it probably has something to do with the fact that he’s one of those characters that’s deeply traumatised but everyone forgets about it

So (for some reason) i’m gonna sit here and list everything my man’s been through:

At ten years old he and his mother got attacked by Stymphalian birds, found by his satyr and taken to camp halfblood where he, at some point, became a year round camper

He admits that his mother, despite his love for her, could be quite neglectful during her time on tour and he grew to live with it but now he’s scared of being abandoned

Between the ages of 10-12 he’s training to be a field medic in camp

Had to watch his friends and family switch sides to fight against them and probably had to watch them die throughout the course of the books (it’s mentioned that there’s countless demigods deaths from Kronos’ side during the battles)

At 13/14 he fights in a battle to defend his home where his brother, Lee Fletcher, dies along with many other campers including some from the Apollo cabin

Within the same battle he probably has to heal many of his friends as well as watch them die as he believes he ‘fails’ to heal them

At 14 he fights in The Battle of Manhattan where it’s believed the Apollo cabin suffers the most fatalities (four documented, however I remember seeing somewhere that the cabin was practically empty due to fatalities and switching sides by the end of the series)

During the battle he heals Annabeth, which drains most of his energy, he creates a field hospital on Olympus to heal other campers and he becomes head counsellor of the Apollo cabin as Michael Yew was never found after the bridge collapse.

Fought in another battle literally less than a year after the last one and delivered a baby mid way through at the age of 14/15, had two entire camps full of children depending on his skills as the head healer

Watched Octavian willingly hurtle himself to his death and believes he ‘let’ him do it even after being ashamed that he’s related to Octavian.

Let himself be a distraction for six guards that would have happily either killed him or captured him

Spent his days after the battle with Gaea in the infirmary healing other campers, or watching them suffer through injuries they would ultimately not recover from

Has his father just fuckin plummet to earth and pitch up at camp as an egotistical teenager after his own powers were going mental and camp was falling into disarray because Apollo was no longer an Olympian throughout

Has to help his father complete his quests and heal other injured campers during fights and battles all whilst trying to make sure his boyfriend and his father don’t do anything stupid and die

Finally gets a break at camp with his boyfriend with no other campers and gets a prophecy that insinuates that he will have to go to the depths of tartarus which could either drive him insane or just straight up kill him off and be abandoned there

Goes on said quest and before they’ve even gotten into tartarus he’s passed out 3 times, is the colour of literal wax and has wounds that have just randomly opened up on his body after collapsing on a hill of what’s described as glass shards and rolling down.

is plagued by nightmares, gets drawn in by voices of tormented, pain ridden souls and loses his one source of light that’s keeping his barely sane

Comes to the realisation that he cannot heal everything and that not everything needs to be healed. That his boyfriend has dark parts that Will may not like but that’s okay and they can learn to live with those parts of eachother

(i fully believe that, if it came to it, despite his objections, he would have sacrificed himself to stay in tartarus if it meant Nico and Bob got out alive)

I know many people love to talk about Nico’s trauma and honestly fair enough cause his trauma is deep and horrific and he deserves to heal and be happy and his trauma should never be overlooked

however i will never miss an opportunity to bring up will solace and talk about the shit he’s been through

[karmic-vibes]

Paging Nurse Harrington

prompt: part 2 to this one-shot. lmk if you want a part 3!

cw: mentions or drug and alcohol use, mentions of AIDS

wc: 1.4k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

———————————————————————

“So, how much of that night do you remember?” Steve chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.  “Honestly not much,” Eddie honestly answered. “I do remember, however, checking out your ass in your scrubs.”

“Pfft,” Steve scoffed.

“What? It’s nice, sue me,” he defended.

“Whatever you say, freak.”

“So what made you wanna go into nursing?”

“I dunno… they’re the ones that actually do the patient care. They’re the ones that are hands on and changing lives. That always resonated with me.”

“Wow, I love that. Good for you.” Steve nodded and blushed up to his ears. “You okay, cutie?” He brushed a strand of Steve’s overgrown hair behind his ears.

“Yeah, um, yeah. It’s just you’re the first person I’ve ever spoken to who didn’t ask me why I didn’t become a doctor instead.”

“Fuck doctors, what the hell do they know. Nurses are hotter, anyways.” Eddie finished off his beer and promptly ordered another. “You know, I was genuinely debating trying to get hospitalized again go see you.”

“Well that would’ve been stupid,” Steve laughed.

“Nothing serious! Just saying I need a chest x-ray or something.”

“You really wanted to see me again that badly?”

“I did,” Eddie blushed. “You’re smart and cute… what’s not the like?”

“You’re not too bad to look at either, Munson.”

“So, you have a boyfriend… girlfriend… partner… or anything by any chance?”

“Nope. Super duper, totally and embarrassingly single. Have been since high school.”

“How‽”

“What do you mean how?”

“You’re gorgeous. Lord, if I knew you back then, I would’ve scooped you right up and never let you go. You’d be my little arm candy on the road,” he teased.

“While that’s sweet of you,” Steve rolled his eyes and smirked, “I would’ve still gone to undergrad to be a nurse.”

“Fine, fine, suit yourself.”

“After all, someone’s gotta save you from your stupid decisions.”

“Hey,” Eddie laughed. “Not fair.”

“What do you mean? It’s totally fair!”

The two continued to talk all night and closed down the bar. They exchanged phone and pager numbers to stay in touch with one another. And with that, they went their separate ways.

However, the weeks went on and Steve never heard from Eddie, despite trying to contact him several times. What a fool he was, thinking someone—especially someone like Eddie—would have an interest in him.

Before Steve knew it, it was a month later and he was back working his dreadful double weekend shift. He sat at intake, filing through his reports, trying to get them in order. All of a sudden, a stretcher came crashing through the door, making a beeline for the trauma room.

He stood up from his seat, trying to get a glance of what happened, but it was no luck. He hadn’t heard anything incoming on the EMS radio, so he was left to ponder. That was, until Dr. Wheeler called him over to help out.

That’s when he saw him.

Edward J. Munson. Absolutely drugged out of his mind, knocking on death’s door.

Steve muttered a string of curses to himself before helping everyone pump fluids and any possible drugs to reverse his symptoms. With a valiant effort from the entire care staff, he was finally stable. Steve sighed with relief when his vitals became normal again, but he was beyond fuming that he hadn’t heard from him in over a month.

“Harrington,” Dr. Wheeler sighed. “Babysitting duty. Page me or send security when he wakes up. Joyce will be around with your paperwork when she does her next vitals round.”

“Yup, I know the drill,” he frowned.

“Good. See you when he wakes up.”

“Mhmm.”

Steve sat in the chair, head in his hands, as he glared at the man who was speaking nothing but praises at him four weeks ago.

What changed? Was it something said? Something he did? Who knows—all he knew was that Eddie Munson was a fucking jerk.

Joyce came and went, dropping off Steve’s mountain of care reports. He powered through each of them, glancing up at Eddie every now and them. As Steve scribbled down a narrative, he neglected to see Eddie’s eyes flutter open (albeit, one at a time).

“Hey, cutie,” he beamed.

“Jesus,” Steve scoffed. He paged Dr. Wheeler as he stood up to feel Eddie’s pulse.

“Yer so pretty,” he giggled.

“Save it,” Steve snapped.

“What’d I do?” he slurred.

“You never called me back, asshole.”

“Did too!”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Did tooooo,” Eddie whined.

“No, you– actually, you know what, I’m not having this argument with you.”

“Welcome back, Eddie. How unfortunate to see you again.”

“Hi, pretty lady,” he smiled.

“How’s he doing, Harrington?”

“He’s fine. Tweaked out, but fine.”

“Good, we’ll move him into a room when one becomes available. Stay with him for the rest of the shift, okay?”

“Mhmm, yeah, whatever.”

“Great, thanks,” she smiled, walking out of the room.

Steve looked back to Eddie and he was passed out yet again. He counted his respirations and checked his pulse—all was normal. Eddie was moved into a proper room around four in the morning, and he stirred himself awake around five to vomit his guts out. Steve did the same thing he did last time—tied his hair into a bun, rubbed his back, and cleaned his face. Once the vomit basin was disposed on, Steve sat back down in his chair, looking Eddie in the eyes.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked.

“Shitty,” Eddie mumbled. “How’re you, pretty boy?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What not?”

“Because you never fucking called me, jerk.”

“To be fair, I have good reason.”

“What possible reason could there be‽ You ignored all my calls and all my pages for a month!”

“Steve–”

“I mean really, Eddie, if you didn’t want to go out with me, you should’ve just said.”

“I did wanna go out with you. Hell, I still wanna go out with you, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Eddie continued laying on his left side, chest heaving, as tears pooled in his eyes. “Why not, Eddie?” Steve’s voice was harsh; it had a certain bite to his words.

“I’m sick,” he whispered.

“What? What do you mean you’re sick? If you mean your addiction, there’s rehab for that and therapy and–”

“Steve…” Tears streamed down Eddie’s face.

“Yeah?”

“Do the math,” he sniffed. “I’m a gay drug addict… one that’s not very bright…”

“Oh…” Steve’s face fell.

“Oh… so, I’m sorry for not calling. I figured it was for the better.”

“Eddie… I… I had no idea.”

“Me either, but I got a letter in the mail with some test results the day after we had drinks. I just couldn’t bring myself to call you afterwards. I’m sorry.” He picked off the pilling on the hospital sheets. “And to think, I wanted so bad to take you home and sleep with you. I’m so, so fucking grateful I didn’t.”

“Me too… I guess not being too desirable has its perks,” Steve huffed.

“Not desirable?” Eddie’s voice was gruff, cracking near the end of the question. “Steve, you are the most attractive man I have ever seen. The only reason I didn’t take you home is because I wanted to see you again… I respected you too much to sleep with you on the first date. O-Or whatever you wanna call it.”

Steve sat in silence for a bit, trying to process the news Eddie had given him. He threw his glasses on his head and aggressively rubbed his eyes. He slumped back in the chair, bringing his glasses down to their rightful spot, and let out a deep sigh.

“I’d like to go out with you again,” Steve said.

“What?” Eddie whispered.

“So you have AIDS—who cares. You’re in the second wave… they’ll find a cure,” Steve smiled. “If, and hopefully when, we sleep together, we’ll be sure to wear protection. If we’re cooking or something and you get cut, I’ll throw on some gloves and clean you up. We can do this,” he said.

Eddie’s eyes welled up with tears as he reached out for Steve’s hand. He sniffed a few times before trying to speak again.

“I’m gonna get sick, y’know.”

“I know.”

“Like, really sick.”

“I don’t care. I like you, Eddie… I like you a lot. I’m willing to try if you are.”

“Yeah… I think I am…”

———————————————————————

taglist: @steviesbicrisis

a/n: sorry for the sadness

[gretchensinister]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @marypsue for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

732 oh gosh it needs to have text next to it to not show up giant

2. What’s your total word count?

1,316,095 aha you can tell most of my fics are short

3. What fandoms do you write for?

What I am currently preoccupied with is The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. The vast majority of my fics are for Rise of the Guardians, and I have one fairly substantial fic each for Thor and Venom.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Give You Everything, not surprised about this one, it's Eddie/Venom and I published it a little less than four months after Venom came out in theaters. 2. Single Snowflakes, this one is a surprise? It's barely over 1K, T for subject matter, Bunny/Jack where Jack talks about past trauma with Bunny. I wouldn't have written it except that this was part of my project to fill every prompt on Round 1 of the Rise of the Guardians Dreamwidth kinkmeme. I guess it resonated with people??? 3. How Old? Another Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated and very short. 4. What it Means to Ask, yet ANOTHER Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated, but about how serious the concept of being a "mate" is in Pooka culture. How Old? was also related to that. 5. Down and Dirty-a wrestling-type fight between Jack and Bunny turns into sex.

What have we learned? The Jackrabbit fans, they are legion.

5. Do you respond to comments?

For the past several years, yes, pretty much always. Back in 2012 when I was just starting to post on Ao3, I was like unto a nervous deer and sometimes didn't respond. But I did print out all the comments on Without Contraries There Is No Progression (Pitch/Sandy that got me writing big complete things) and put them on my fridge at the time. It helped me get my master's degree.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The one that comes to the top of my head is Warmer Than I Thought. Jack's dying because he just didn't have enough believers when he became a Guardian. He's not going to come back with continuity of self. Pitch is there to offer him some scant comfort as he goes.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mostly write happy endings, honestly, but the honor of the most happy and resolved ending goes to His Time, which is chronologically the last fic in my Rise of the Guardians Apotheosis AU. It's a far-distant future, OT8, everyone is together and essentially the pantheon of a new planet they made after Earth is gone due to the expansion of the sun. They are trying to make it go well this time, and so far succeeding.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest thing to hate I ever got was on my explicit Thorki fic...from a person complaining about how much I had Thor and Loki talk to each other.

9. Do you write smut?

I write a lot of explicit sex, yes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've written a fair number in my prompt-fill project, but it's not something I'm drawn to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never known about any of my fics being stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone talked to me about translating one of my fics and I was very excited and I said yes. However I don't know what came of that because things happened and I fell out of communication with the potential translator. Maybe they finished it and I don't know about it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I would, unless it was part of a strictly structured event/project.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Well, it's Pitch Black/Sandman. Conceptually, the ships I'm drawn to have ties to dichotomies of dark/light, good/evil, cosmic opposites kind of thing. Pitch and Sandy, as personifications of nightmares and dreams, were a perfect vessel for that obsession.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I told my friends, "I'm not going to rewrite The Phantom of the Opera." And I'm not. But there's a version of PotO that I wanted that uh, isn't what any of the big official versions gave me. So I started writing and I have 49,615 words so far. If I don't find a way to finish it I think I will end up posting it as something permanently unfinished, because there's a lot that I like in it now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told in a real graduate writing workshop that I have good dialogue. I also like to think I'm pretty good at sensory descriptions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The things I find extremely difficult are endings and like, plots where things happen--I want so badly to write a big complicated Space Empire story but like. How is does political intrigue? (This house is FEELINGS ONLY.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I don't think I'd ever do it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Almost certainly Dragonball Z. If all goes well, my friend and I may have the chance to excavate some of my old notebooks during the holidays and then--it's archive time and that is a threat.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's A Draught of Light, which I love as it is, and for proving that I could write an alternate-world epic fantasy novel as long as I didn't like, admit that's what I was doing. I do admit though that I have an edited version that takes it farther away from being fanfic that I like even better. Maybe I should, hmm, start taking steps to making that version available, if you understand what I mean.

Who do I know writing out there that hasn't been tagged yet? @queerpyracy, @purplebloodedmajesty, @incurablenecromantic

[mysterycharacterbracket]

Tiebreaker Poll #2

The following characters received 34 votes each. Because of the way the math works out, the top 4 characters in this poll will receive first round byes, while the other 5 will have to compete in the first round.

Character 1: Was smart, ruthless and a capable ruler, is often misrepresented by fans of other characters

Character 7: They're a squid. They're one-fifth of a monkey. They're a Demon King. They're an angel. They're a Reader. They're a character and they know it. They're a god. They're the most helpless being in the universe. They gave their entire found family trauma, that could technically classify as generational trauma. They manage to have mutually insane homoerotic relationships with two different people. They have three parents and three kids (in both cases, one is biological and two are adopted)

Character 77: He's a hopeless romantic. He draws his crushes during class. He gets turned into a supervillain and all he wants is to take his crush on a date. He ends up flirting with a guy later who likes his art, and his friends try to wingman them together. Misunderstandings happen, but he helps the heroes save the day by tying up one of them to a kite and putting a blindfold on them. Yes, it was wild. It's pretty much his awakening to liking boys. After the dust settles, he ends up working on an original project with the guy who likes him. They're almost always seen by each other's side after that. His partner drags him to gym class despite him hating sports and working with groups. He makes up a lame excuse and uses puppy dog eyes, and they somehow work. He's a mess but his partner finds it endearing.

Character 120: blue and likes hotdogs

Character 136: the most autistic serial killer i’ve ever seen. has daddy issues like you wouldn’t believe. may or may not be a shadow demon. sends strongly worded letters over tiny inconveniences. would probably say “🥺👉👈” out loud to someone he is actively trying to murder

Character 142: A crow, is tasked with killing some 'immortals' after some other crow stole his kill. Meets death themselves.

Character 230: A little guy! A socialist that was forced to join the capitalist system, but girlbossed so hard that he could retire early and uses his money to bring entertainment to everyone! So much transmasc swag! Loves videogames! Is very pro-piracy of digital media! An aroace icon! Orng.... fren....

Character 257: He's a petty criminal with a strong distaste for most forms of authority (with good reason; there's someone powerful out to get him and his family) and who is fully prepared to use drastic means if necessary to achieve his goals. His main goals, though, are just to love and keep safe the handful of people he really deeply cares for, and often enough those that they care for as well. In his mid-teens he left home to chase down a missing family member, with hardly anything in the way of leads, and ended up spending some time wasting other people's money on the purchase of information that ultimately did him little good. He's a momma's boy. For a brief time he was a clown. He's a constant provider of nicknames to people disinclined to appreciate it--then again, annoyance is what he's going for. He's a people person and loves attention, but can be afraid of it too, especially when it comes from a crowd; in the long term being in the public eye is not for him. He's brash and tends to mess up in the things he says; he's a handful and has admitted as much out loud. He's publicly insulted the love of his life (it was mutual). He's a fool for love and isn't put off by the death threats. He's participated in a scam engagement to help his crush inflate their fame. He doesn't know deeply, or necessarily even like, everyone in his friend group, but to those he does care for, he's the furthest thing from a fair-weather friend, and pushes back against their self-doubt and self-destructive tendencies. He's multilingual, from two different cities, and a child of immigrants. He tries to keep much of his identity out of the light, and he has supernatural power that is thematically tied to that. He has a particular hat he's quite fond of; he has big brownish eyes and he gets mocked for his height.

Character 270: Last of his kind, he makes his adoptive mother take in another boy. Now he finally has a friend and the boys have fun every day. Days turn into years and they are now teenagers, and he accidentally kills one of the boys who has bullied him his entire life, and runs away from home to find a country where he's free to be himself without fear, but he's caught by another tribe, these ones are after something else...

[teamgamble]

Team Gamble Shadow Pokemon Crisis Meeting

Judas slammed the side of the abandoned warehouse with the side of his forearm. “God fucking DAMMIT, why did they have to come back here out of all places!?” Laz wasn’t incorrect, the Orrish boy was extremely unhappy about this.  No wonder, Isaac thought, she wouldn’t be happy either if he was in their position.

All thirteen members of Team Gamble were in here.  Presumably once belonging to a small company, they had taken it as their own, decorating it with tables, lights, beanbags, and other amenities.  The shutters were rusted shut, but there was a way in only those who have been inside knew of.  Team Star actually used this as a base, once, before it grew so much Team Star required multiple separate large scale bases all over Paldea.  Perhaps that’s why they don’t do anything anymore, whereas with a smaller team it was easier to coordinate plans.

“I know this is a stressful time,” Isaac piped up, “but we need to keep our wits about us.  Team Snagem are scary for sure, but if they were beaten back once, people can do it again.” “They ain’t making it easy though,” Samson pointed out, sitting up in his beanbag chair.  “They’re skulking ‘round in the shadows and shit like that.  I mean, motherfuckers nabbed Pokemon from Larry just ‘cause he dared to eat lunch in a restaurant.  Snagem’s ain’t the sort to play fair.”

“So why should we?” Azazel grinned, leaning forward.  They were silent up to this point, silently petting their own Staraptor, Starlo.  “I mean, they’re probably gonna go straight for our ‘Mon in a battle, right?  What’s keeping us from joining the battle and breaking their kneecaps?” There was a tense aura around them.  They could see their own starter Pokemon getting injected in the shoulder blade and thrashing about instead of Larry’s Staraptor--something they boiled their blood.

“Violence isn’t always the answer, you know,” Maggie said, but she was interrupted by her stepbrother. “No, no, they got a point,” Isaac said, standing up.  “We can’t have our Pokemon be the only ones fighting for innocent lives.  I think it’s time we also do our part.” He looked at Jacob.  “How good are we on money?  Because I doubt we can get self-defense weapons with League Points.” “Very very good!” the brunette boy clapped (and a “thanks to me” from his lighter haired twin which earned the latter a glare).  “We might have enough to arm everyone here!” “And I don’t need ‘em,” Samson spoke up.  “In fact, I could probably teach y’all a bit of how to wrestle a Pokemon.  Don’t Shadow Pokemon like going for the trainer anyway?”

Beth nodded.  “Yes, but no.  Isaac, may I?” Isaac nodded back at her, and Beth stood up and walked over to the used Smartboard Eden had managed to salvage a while back.  She pulled up a slide, which contained her research and clips from the videos the Team Snagem blog posted. “Shadow Pokemon being emotionless is in fact, mostly a myth.  It’s more like hatred and anger driving them forward, because a major part of the process involves trauma, along with whatever agent is being used to help close the door to their hearts.  I’d detail the process more, but, well...” Beth leaned forward on the nearby computer and pulled up two tabs on The Koiking’s Pond blog.  “Here’s a bit of reading, I think the owner behind this could explain it better than I do.” “But as for who Shadow Pokemon target...it’s less that they prefer opposing Trainers, and more that they’re indiscriminate,” Beth explained.  “Opposing Pokemon, opposing Trainers, even their allies and their own Trainer.  You can get them to focus their attacks, but it takes training.  You’re sacrificing effort ,the Pokemon’s own health, and others’ health for more power, essentially.”

Beth switched back over to the Groovyle Slide, showing some photos from Orre’s Snagem-Cipher crisis that came from before they were all even born. “Snagem at first got their Pokemon from Cipher, and they may have picked back up the reins, but they were the original makers of Snag Balls and Snag Machines.  Only an ex-Grunt managed to get the original model to turn them back on them, but I have reason to believe they may have newer and up to date models.  It’s in the name, after all.” Beth looked back at the others.  “In short, if we encounter a Snagem grunt and win, don’t just take their Pokemon.  Take every equipment they might have.  If they happen to have Snag Balls or a Snag Machine on them, we want them.  Then we can capture back the Pokemon they stole and turned into Shadow Pokemon.”

[sunshine-singer]

Shadow & Bone Season 2 Rant/Review

Disclaimer: Not my first post on here being a rant, but here we go... I’ve only seen the first two seasons and only read Six of Crows, so forgive me if I don’t understand certain plot points... Also, these are my own opinions, so please be kind, and I’m sorry if I remembered some things wrong - so much happened this season! Spoilers ahead for the show and very slight ones for Six of Crows duology, so read at your own risk* 

So much has happened this season that I’ve had to get my Netflix up to remind myself what’s happened... anyways here we go:

Did I think the season was all bad? No. Will I still be watching season 2 again like I did with the first one? Yes. The acting was great, costumes were amazing, and I generally did enjoy the season. No issues with the actors at all - thought the portrayals were fantastic! Defo a big upgrade to last season! However, there were a few things I didn’t like:

So we start off with The Crows getting back to Ketterdam and Mal and Alina on the run. Was a great start, but the plots between the two started off feeling very disjointed, which I felt wasn’t an issue in the previous season. I also thought that they’d delve way more into Six of Crows and I’m a little disappointed that so much of The Crows’ storyline was Crooked Kingdom based... as I hadn’t got round to reading it yet. That’s fully on me though, as I made the decision to watch the second season without reading it first. However, I’m still confused plot wise about The Crows as it’s so different to the first book already - especially regarding Matthias and Nina. I just had a hard time wrapping my head around it, but maybe that is because I haven’t read Crooked Kingdom yet. I do feel like the fast pace ruined a lot of the build up for the relationships between all The Crows for me, and yet somehow Nina and Matthias didn’t move fast enough? Idk. 

While I do think the conversations towards the middle of the season regarding both Alina’s and Genya’s respective traumas were well handled, I can’t help but feel really disappointed by their storylines: 

Genya suffers under both the King and Kirigan, and then David comes into the picture and becomes her support. Then we see David sacrifice himself for Genya (or its heavily implied), and then we don’t come back to them for ages. No one even asks after her or asks where she is, and we don’t see her again until Adrik finds her. It just seems so unfulfilling to me that she doesn’t get a happy ending. I get it, it’s wartime, the stakes are real and not everyone is going to get one. It just seems so disappointing to me that Genya is characterised by so much trauma like that (like most the characters are to be fair, so this might be harsh) and then she has a bitter end to her story this season. Just very unsatisfying. Daisy Head is such a great actress though, and she did such a great job.

Alina’s conversation with Baghra about her time with Kirigan was a great watch. I did feel that her character was just sort of meh this season, but I’m not as into the Shadow and Bone plot as much as I am into The Crows, so maybe that plays a part in it. I felt that that particular scene was the only time I really connected with her character this season, but again, her storyline so far just seems so unsatisfying to me. She goes from not wanting to be the Sun Summoner; to then being manipulated by Kirigan; to then suffering from the after effects of his lies and deceit; to then having to kill Mal who is the man she loves; to bring him back and have him reject what they have (which I fully understood from his POV, just sucked for her); and then has seemingly corrupted herself with Merzost ... so resulting in her becoming the next ‘monster’ the Darkling said she would be? From the looks of it anyways. Again, not everyone is going to get a happy ending but it just feels so unfulfilling. I’m also a bit tired of the trope that entails the female hero choosing a guy over the greater good or corrupting themselves in the process. Again, understand why she did it, it’s just something I don’t enjoy.

Again, the Shadow and Bone plot is less interesting to me anyway, but I was so tired of Kirigan by the end. Very glad he died. I’m not sure if it was the actual character or his dialogue just sort of being cringe to me, but I just did not vibe with his character for the majority of the season. This was especially apparent to me in the last scene we got with him after the fold was destroyed. Again, props to the acting as Ben Barnes is great but the character just ended up not being for me.

I was looking forward to seeing Zoya again and was happy to see her this season. I do wish that she had properly apologised to Alina for how she behaved last season, I think I would’ve appreciated her more if they had a real heart to heart. Their conversation when they reunited was good but I still felt it was a bit lacking.

I’ve probably missed some things but this is already a long rant so thank you for sticking to the end! I might do a review for each episode as I watch the season again. Like I said before, still enjoyed it and all the new characters that came along this season were really likeable. So overall I’d still give the season a 7/10.

[hannahwatcheshorror]

SMILE (2022)

😿Cat Dies 💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

This movie has a spooky hook with the creepy smiling and as a psychiatric patient myself I don’t think they are too disrespectful to psychiatric patients (like some horror movies can be). The pacing is very good, though there are quite a few jump scares to be aware of (your heart rate just goes back down before the next big jump scare). It feels like a very well rounded film with good practical and special effects.

(TW Suicide)

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Dr. Rose Cotter (welcome back) is our overworked and highly traumatized psychiatrist who wants to help make everyone feel okay! Too bad she doesn’t listen when her boss (Kal “Grinning” Penn) tells her to go home for the day, she takes one last patient who ends up giving her some sort of Smile Demon. (Mondays, am I right?) This is reminiscent of the movie “It Follows” but less sex and much more suicide.  Rosie thinks nothing of it (because she’s a man of science) but then the demon literally and actually killed her cat, packaged it up, and gave it to her nephew as a gift for his birthday. WHICH all had happened on the night of a break-in so Rose should have at LEAST been able to get Holly (I see what their mom did) to agree that MAYBE someone ELSE put the dead cat in the box instead of the real gift?? But maybe that is just me? Also If a movie is going to go through the trouble of making us see a dead pet, (I hate them already BUT) why is it always such poor CGI that you can barely tell what it is in the first place? At least use a prop for goodness sake! What is the worst that will happen: people will be upset? They already decided to kill off the family cat, which they named Mustache, by the way (kind of adorable), so how dare they make it look crappy to then try and skirt around THEIR bad choice.

Petition for horror movie couples to not have pets. Let the horror movie monster just plop some fresh roadkill in the giftbox, that's more gross anyway AND you’d be worried about rabies. Plus in the context of this movie, if baby boy Jackson pulled a run over raccoon out of the hobby shop box, then everyone at the party would have been asking, “Did Dr. Cotter go down by the tracks and get herself a ‘coon?”

Finally she tries to tell her fiancée (A-Train, who at first he is super nice and reasonable so you forget about all his A-Train crimes and just see him as a very handsome man) but he doesn’t believe her, which is kind of fair because what she says is hard to believe (other than her saying she didn’t kill their cat, he should believe her on that, especially because he knows about the break in that night) but we (the audience) know that the Smile Demon is real so the more A-train doesn’t believe her the more we just feel bad for her and don’t like him. (And now I'm getting strong “They Look Like People” vibes, actually they might have even said that exact line a few times during this film… just go watch TLLP)

Which brings in her ex-boyfriend the cop? And it is giving the STRONGEST “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” third wheeling vibes but I digress… He pops up and Rose needs to use him for his police connections and he believes her about the demon because he sees all the suicides. I guess it's romantic? (Him believing her, not all the death.) I don’t know how we are supposed to feel about it other than just being glad Rosie has someone who believes her. Then she has to go fight the demon who is looking like her mom and it turns out Rose let her mom die as a kiddo, but that’s okay! Because reasons! And trauma! And honestly Dr. Cotter was such a boss when she told off her mom/the demon at this point. I am really not sure if this was a hallucination for her benefit or the demon trying to fuck with her and failing, but hey, it was cathartic for Rosie. But then her mom turns into Slenderman doing drag and it is, wow, it is rough. And they are yelling about who controls Rose’s mind, and then flames!

NOW this is where I WISH the credits roll. Because what happens next is... Just okay. So. She goes to her cop ex-boyfriend's place to have a heart to heart and it is super weird. It felt like the movie genre shifted to romantic drama but then cop ex started smiling. Turns out it wasn't over and cop ex was actually there IRL. And then Dr. Rose is covering herself in gasoline. And Cop ex watches her burn. And “lollipop” is playing loudly as the credits roll and I feel like I’ve missed something with the plot.

But yeah so it ends and I feel a little bit ripped off right there at the finale but that is often a feeling I get when watching a horror film. Overall the movie was full of suspense and a building fear so it still keeps its high score.

[greywoodrpg]

𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕨 𝕓𝕒𝕦𝕕𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕖

he was born thirty-five years ago, he is a human who lives in white oaks as a potter, he looks an awful lot like francois arnaud.

“i got ten minutes to be all or nothing.”

tw: addiction, masochism, car accident

Matthew never liked to think back on his childhood. A majority of it was spent idolizing a father only to have his idol turn into his biggest fear and source of anger. He never really did forgive his father for what he had done to their family, opting to blame the man rather than the addiction or the trauma. From then on he saw his father in every drunk or inebriated person and that included the drunk driver that killed his mom. Matthew was never quite the same after that. He shouldered too much responsibility caring for his siblings, a broken family broken time and time again but he still did his best to keep them all together and happy, even if it meant forgoing his own dreams and aspirations. 

Becoming a blood donor at Elysium hadn’t been his ideal choice but it was a quick and easy way to get good money to help support his younger siblings, not to mention fighting in the occasional round at an underground fighting ring. It was a good way to get out all his pent up rage that he couldn’t release in front of his family. If it wasn’t for those fights he might have gone insane but he was only human and a lot of werewolves liked to participate in those fights. Sure they would hold back when up against him because that just wasn’t a fair fight against a normal guy like him but energies were hard to quell when you were in the thick of it and Matthew had more than one close calls. He was pretty much a regular at the emergency room and needed to be patched up one too many times before his body started to react poorly to being consistently broken. 

After a serious conversation with his doctor and his siblings, Matthew gave up the fighting. Too many frequent injuries put an end to his days in the cage but that didn’t keep him away from it. He retired from fighting but he picked up work as a bookie, facilitating the bets and watching a new generation of fighters. It wasn’t always good money so he still found himself going back to Elysium as a blood donor a few nights, not to mention that he’d started to enjoy the sensation. He’d stayed away from alcohol his entire life, seeing the dangers it was capable of inflicting on people, but addiction was in his blood and he found comfort in the pain.

Lately Matthew finds himself in a series of difficult situations surrounding his father who has been making attempts to return to the family fold. Matthew is firmly set against this idea, having not forgiven the man for all the wrong doings of his past and as an outlet for his frustrations craves dangerous relationships. He has since quit his job at underground fighting ring entirely, instead opting to focus more on his work as a blood donor at Elysium and taking more classes at the university to busy himself during the day.

After a diagnosis from his doctor that Matthew was anemic due to prolonged blood loss, he went on medical leave from his job at Elysium and has since quit for health reasons and began selling his ceramics and pottery ware every Sunday at the local Farmer’s Market.

“what power did he attain when settling in greywood?”

Matthew has a magnetic ability that enables him to have an extraordinary ability to attract others to him and unintentionally build deep bonds with others whether it be through friendship, romantic or sexual. It is entirely passive and he is generally unaware of it when it happens. You may not even realize it is happening and assume it is only due to a coincidence that you two are hitting it off so well. This ability affects everyone differently in varying degrees of intensity. You may find yourself unaffected or you may find yourself intensely drawn to him.

penned by... kim

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 112

Achilles Castle part 17

Alexis: pov our group is still a little shaken up. I'm ordering the corn dog and fries which Dave is carrying for me. He is ordering the burger and fries, my dad wants the triple cheese pizza. Gram wants a hot dog with fries, I'm carrying gram and dad's food.

Ryan: pov Sarah Grace wants the nugget and fries, I'm ordering the clam strips with onion rings, Esposito is carrying my food he is ordering the spicy Buffalo wings with corn bread. Jenny wants the lobster Mac and cheese.

Lanie: pov I'm ordering the clam chowder and it looks amazing. Kate doesn't know what she wants, Kate finally decides on grilled chicken with Spanish rice. All of our food comes with water, after we finish eating we are going to get funnel cake and ice cream. We talk about what plans we have for the rest of the day.

Castle: pov me and Ryan made plans for tomorrow after lunch we are taking everyone to the mall that way Sarah Grace can get a build a bear. Ryan also has a surprise for Jenny while he was at one of her obgyn appointments he asked for a recording of the baby's heartbeat without her knowing to put in a bear. I have a recording of Kate's heart beat post shooting I got from her cardiologist at one of her many appointments. I'm going to put it in a bear and surprise her dad Jim.

Jim: pov after dinner we hit the funnel cake stand Katie is so excited to have some, she can only have a little bit, the fair has a type of ice cream called dippin dots. They are round little ice cream balls that are about the size of beads. We all ordered different flavors. Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. All of us decide to head home Jenny's feet are hurting her and Katie looks tired.

Castle: pov the ride home was short. Ryan is giving Sarah Grace a bath while Jenny relaxes on the sofa. Lanie and Esposito are relaxing and talking in Lanie's room, which is the guest room that Esposito is staying in. Lanie has been sleeping in Kate's room in case of an emergency.

Martha: pov Jim is sitting on the sofa watching tv, Katherine fell asleep with her head resting on him. Ryan is having trouble getting Sarah Grace to bed because she is scared by what happened today. Jim starts shouting that the news is talking about the fair, hurry, Katie's on the news.

Alexis: pov Me and Dave come running downstairs. The rest of the group is in the living room, the news lady Jill first shows the clip of the guy who owns the fair Nathan giving a statement then Chief Brady talking and Kate. Afterwards Jill says she has obtained video of the incident. where Captain Kate Beckett, who has a heart condition from previous chest trauma she suffered as a result of a shooting years ago, takes down the armed suspect. The video is from someone who was at the fair.

Jenny: pov I had no idea how seeing this video would affect us. The whole group is crying, Jim's screaming woke Kate up. I doubt any of us are getting any sleep tonight. Everyone spent a little bit longer in the living room before heading to bed. Kate is asleep again so Esposito offered to carry her to bed.

Lanie: pov thankfully Kate is already in her pj's. In the morning Kate takes her meds, everyone is getting ready for the day. Martha is making breakfast, I'm wearing an end gun violence shirt and Kate is wearing her. I survived a bullet shirt with gray shorts. Martha is making corned beef hash with eggs. I don't want Kate eating the corned beef hash but I have decided to let her have a tiny bit that way she feels included. I will just put more egg on her plate and some fruit. Everyone has their bathing suits under their clothes because we are going to the beach.

Castle: pov Ryan and Esposito are helping Jim pack sandwiches for the beach so that way we can have lunch there. Jenny is getting Sarah Grace ready, while Alexis and Dave pack snacks and water bottles. The boys, Aexis and Dave are carrying the cooler and chairs. Lanie has incased my leg in plastic wrap to prevent sand from getting in. I will use my crutches on the beach, once I'm sitting I should be good.

Kate: pov I grab my swim shirt that goes on top of my bathing suit, it protects me from the sun. Lanie grabbed my sun block and emergency bag I go everywhere with. I don't handle the heat very well. At the beach Alexis and Dave help Castle settle down with his feet up in his chair with a book. It is a folding chair that turns into a lounge chair so his feet are off the ground.

Esposito: pov Lanie is putting a special sun block on Kate, before she puts on her swim shirt. I make sure Kate's chair is in the shade. There are a good amount of people on the beach even though it's private. One of Castle's neighbors comes up to us and says he saw Kate on the news and wanted to congratulate her. Alexis and Dave are going in the water. Kate wants to join them which means Lanie goes in the water also. I offer to switch with Lanie so she can finish her book and take a break. She does so much for Kate to make sure she is 100 percent.

Dave: pov Esposito is helping Kate into her life vest so she can go into the water. Castle just filled up the pool raft/float for Kate so she can relax in the water if she wants. Me and Alexis are splashing each other. Ryan is with Sarah Grace in the shallow end near shore. There are 2 teen boys in the water splashing everyone. To be continued. …….

[the-bau-quinjet]

Secret's Out

Summary: Request! Reid and Y/N are secretly dating, but their business doesn't stay their business for long.

Warnings: Criminal Minds level violence

Word Count: 2974

a/n: Thank you for the request! I hope you like it :)

Sorry this took forever! It took me a while to think of case details that I liked and then I kept rewriting parts. I think I'm finally happy with it though!

Masterlist

"Spencer!" You pushed him away. "The doors could open at any moment! How are we supposed to keep this a secret if Morgan walks in on us kissing in the elevator?" You raised a brow at him.

"On average, elevators travel at a speed of 200 ft/min or about 4 seconds per floor. Being on the fifth floor means we have about 20 seconds to ourselves." He smiled triumphantly.

"Yeah, until someone surprises us on floor 3." You rolled your eyes, stepping out of the doors once they opened.

"I can't help it. I'm just... really happy with you." He whispered softly.

"I'm really happy too." You smiled at him. You were about to lean in when the elevator doors opened once again to reveal JJ and Emily.

"Hey guys, ready for another case?" Emily glanced between you suspiciously, but thankfully didn't ask any prying questions.

"Yep, let's go!" You turned quickly, walking into the round table room without so much as a glance back at the three agents by the elevator.

"What's with her?" JJ questioned.

"Said she didn't sleep well last night. Must be all the caffeine." He held his own cup off coffee up in solidarity before also walking to the round table room.

"Alright, we've got 3 dead in Billings, Montana. All three were law enforcement, and all three were found this morning around the city." You listened as Penelope introduced the details of the case.

"Could be someone who feels the police didn't do a good enough job protecting a loved one?" You threw out a theory.

"Or someone who feels wronged by the criminal justice system as a whole." Rossi added on.

"Either way, they likely won't stop until we catch them. Wheels up in 20." Hotch rose from his seat as he spoke, wasting no time in preparing for take off.

You all dispersed briefly to grab your go bags, meeting back at the SUVs to head to the jet.

Once boarded, it didn't take long for the conversation to start up again.

"When we land, L/N go to the morgue. Dave, Prentiss take the first and second crime scenes, they're only a mile apart. Morgan and Reid, check out the third scene. I'll head to the precinct with JJ."

With Hotch's instructions set, you took what little time you had left on the flight to go over the causes of death.

-

"Anything stand out to you on the bodies?" You asked the ME after going over the blunt force trauma and bullet wounds.

"There's tape residue and bruising on the wrists and ankles. Based on the state of bruising, they were likely held for about 3 days before they were killed."

"Thank you for your help." You shook hands, pulling out your phone to call Hotch.

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, they were held for days before they were killed. How did nobody notice they were missing?" There was nothing in the reports that indicated the victims were reported missing prior to being found.

"We just found the same pattern. They all used vacation days for various reasons in the days leading up to their deaths. Meet us back at the precinct and Reid can explain the whole pattern."

"Okay, I'm leaving now." You hung up just as you reached the SUV. Throughout the drive, you couldn't stop thinking that something wasn't adding up.

The victims were taken in the same day. It didn't make sense for the unsub not to escalate. So, why aren't any officers unaccounted for?

Suddenly, a truck crashed into your SUV, sending you flying off the road. A figure dressed in black opened the door and dragged you from the car.

"Agent L/N, it's so good to see you again." A male voice spoke, but you couldn't place it.

He hit you over the head with a handgun before dragging you to his own vehicle.

-

"Where's L/N?" Emily questioned when her and Rossi returned from the second dumpsite.

"On her way back from the ME." Hotch answered. "Did you find anything useful?"

"They truly are dumpsites. Both bodies were found by dumpsters, sending a pretty clear message." Dave replied.

"Same for the third site." Derek added on.

"All three victims were single and took time off leading up to their death. Nobody would've notice that they were missing until it was too late." Reid supplied the final bit of information gathered.

Hotch's phone rang before anyone else could comment. The frantic sound of Garcia's nails clicking against her keyboard echoed through the phone. She was talking before anyone could greet her.

"You need to see this, check your tablets."

Confused glances were exchanged as everyone, barring Reid, opened their tablets. Reid glanced over Morgan's shoulder to observe as well.

A seemingly live video that Garcia received a link to was streaming to the tablets.

A single woman sitting in a chair could be seen in the frame. Her wrists and ankles were bound to the chair with thick, gray tape and a bag was over her head.

"Garcia, what is this?" Hotch asked almost immediately.

"I was emailed the link just now. It's not streaming anywhere else online." Her reply came quickly, the sound of typing still filling in the silence.

"Can you trace it?" Rossi questioned.

"I'm trying, but it's being routed through multiple proxy servers."

"Did the email say anything?" Emily chimed in.

"No, it was just the link- Wait. I just got another email." She paused as the new email loaded. "It's addressed to Reid."

Every set of eyes in the room turned to Reid.

"What does it say?" He felt the nerves beginning to grow waiting for Garcia to read the words aloud.

"Dr. Reid,

I hope you remember me. What am I saying, of course you do. I've got something of yours that you might want back. You see Dr. Reid, you and your team ruined me. My family, my career, all of it, just gone. I thought I'd return the favor. A person's phone can be so informative. Tell me, does your team know about your girlfriend? I've so enjoyed getting reacquainted with her.

Happy hunting."

Spencer's face went white as he looked at Morgan's tablet again. His thoughts were racing. How did he not recognize you before? Even with the bag over your head, he should've known it was you.

"It's her." His words were barely a whisper.

"This is your girlfriend?" Morgan gestured to the screen again. Spencer could only nod in reply, his mind unable to focus on anything except you.

"Reid, listen to me. You've got to tell us everything you know about her. We'll have to split up. You can go back to Quantico with Emily and Morgan, the rest of us will stay here to work on our current case." Hotch was already devising a strategy to work both cases.

"There's no need." His words made sense to him, but sounded cryptic to the rest of the team.

"Kid, of course there is. We'll help you get her back." Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively shocking him back to the present situation.

"There's no need to split up because she's here. She's in Montana." Before he could continue, everyone was asking questions.

"Give me a phone number and I'll get you a location." Garcia was already typing away again.

"Are you sure she's here?" JJ's brows furrowed. She did her best to hide the hurt of her best friend hiding his girlfriend from her, again.

"Why would she be here?" Rossi added.

"How did she get here? Maybe we can track the transportation and figure out means of abduction." Emily was the only one thinking about the case.

Like ripping off a bandaid, Spencer blurted out the truth.

"It's Y/N."

He was met with silence in the room as everyone absorbed the information.

Garcia caught up first, a sudden gasp sounding through the phone.

"So, then that's Y/N... in the video..." Her voice wavered.

As if a switch was flipped, the team was back on the case.

"Garcia, get me a list of anyone who would have a grievance with the team." Hotch ordered.

"Go through anyone who was falsely accused. Start with cases in or around Montana. He would want to keep this close to home." Rossi specified.

"We've only had one case in Montana since Y/N joined the team." Reid supplied the knowledge as it came to him. "A name, I need a name." He muttered to himself, pulling his hair as he roughly ran his hands through it and over his face. "Garcia, look into Jameson Braddock."

"Got it." She immediately began a background check, searching through case files and news articles for additional information. "i'll get back to you with locations." With that, she hung up.

"Fill us in, kid. Who is Jameson Braddock." Morgan lead Reid to a chair, gently easing him into it.

"Our last case in Montana, Emily and I went to interview a witness." Emily nodded, the memories slowly coming back to her.

"He wasn't very forthcoming, and then he tried to run." She added on.

"Exactly, except he didn't make it very fair. We arrested him, but it turned out he was only guilty of selling alcohol to minors. When word of his arrest got out, the whole town thought it was for the serial rapes and murders we were investigating even though it was never confirmed."

"By the time we corrected the media, it was too late." JJ supplied, also remembering the man.

"So, he killed three officers just to draw us out back out here?" Morgan refocused the conversation on the current case.

"It looks that way now. The media knew we were coming, so he must have as well." Emily theororized. "If he followed us from the airport, he would've seen Y/N leave by herself."

"He likely didn't know about your relationship until he abducted her and went through her phone." Hotch paced the room.

"He's flaunting his power over us." Rossi chimed in just as Hotch's phone rang again.

"Garcia, what've you got?"

"Three addresses in Billings, Montana. Jameson Braddock has been on a downward spiral since your last trip there. His entire life fell apart, like he said. Divorced, his wife moved to Nebraska with their two kids. He lost his job at the high school, and was evicted from his house when he could no longer pay the bills." She listed the information quickly.

"He has ties to three addresses. Nobody has moved into his previous house, so it's vacant. He's got a small apartment in the northern part of the city which he pays for through working odd hours at Taco Bell. Finally, he briefly worked security at a now abandoned warehouse."

"An apartment wouldn't be enough space to hold her without the chance of someone hearing. She's not there." Rossi eliminated the location as an option.

"We'll split up to cover the warehouse and the house-" Hotch began, but Reid cut him off.

"No, we shouldn't split up. She's got to be at the house. The warehouse has no connection to his previous life. He wants revenge for our perceived wrongdoing, he wouldn't make his last stand at a new location." Reid was already putting on a bullet proof vest. Despite how his mind was racing, he refused to show how afraid he was.

"You're sure?" Morgan asked, on the fence about committing to one location.

"Absolutely." With that, Reid was out the door heading for the SUVs.

-

"Rossi, Emily head around back. I'll take the front with Reid. JJ and Morgan, the side door." Hotch instructed the team to split up upon arrival at the house.

Reid wasted no time in approaching the house. He was confident you were inside, but he didn't know what was happening to you.

The main floor was cleared quickly. Again, the team split up to cover the upper level and the basement.

Knowing you were likely downstairs, Reid immediately started that direction, JJ and Hotch following him.

It wasn't hard for him to find you. You were still tied to the chair in the middle of the room, bag over your head.

Before anyone could stop him, Reid lowered his gun and ran to you. He gently maneuvered the bag off your head, stopping his movements only when he felt something press into his back.

"Dr. Reid. So kind of you to join us." Braddock spoke maniacally, pressing the gun against Reid's head.

"Drop your weapon." Hotch commanded, but the man only cackled in response.

'Y/N... Y/N." Reid gently shook you in an attempt to wake you up.

"She can't hear you." Braddock singsonged.

"What did you do?" Reid tried to turn to him only to feel the gun press further into his head.

"Like I said in my email, you people ruined my life. They took everything from me, so I thought I'd try to return the favor." During his short speech, Braddock shifted just enough for JJ to get a clean shot.

He fell to the ground, gun clattering across the floor.

Reid moved quickly to remove the tape binding you to the chair while Hotch called for a medic in the basement.

The entire team watched as you were wheeled into the ambulance, still unconscious, none more scared than Spencer.

-

"She's going to be fine, Spence." JJ tried to reassure him, nonetheless his pacing continued.

"You don't know that. We don't even know what he did to her." He had one hand anxiously running through his hair, the other pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.

Just then, a doctor emerged from behind closed doors.

"F/N L/N." She called into the waiting room, slightly taken aback when the group of agents rushed to her.

"It was touch and go for a while, but she got here just in time." It was visible to even the least qualified profiler how relieved the team felt. Their previously tense shoulders relaxed, frowns turned to small smiles, wide eyes and raised brows pinched together with joy.

"What happened?" Emily posed the question everyone was thinking.

"In short, she was drugged. It's not clear what exactly was used, but it was likely a mix of drugs that attempted to stop her heart."

"Can we see her?" Morgan spoke next, cautiously eyeing Reid.

"You may, follow me." The doctor lead them through a series of hallways to your room. "She should be waking up soon."

With that the doctor left, allowing the team to file into the room. You looked strangely peaceful for someone who almost died.

"So..." JJ glanced between you and Spencer. "Girlfriend, huh?"

His eyes went wide. Instinctively, he turned to you for help, but you were still asleep. He opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out.

"Relax, kid." Morgan grinned. "We're happy as long as you two are happy."

Spencer smiled gratefully, looking at you with an adoring gaze. "We are happy."

"How long?' Emily gestured to your joined hands. Just before Spencer could answer, you groaned.

"I want to hear your guesses first." Your voice was raspy, but there was a clear smile on your face. "Also, what happened?"

The quickly explained the email Garcia received and the events that followed.

"Now that that's cleared up, do tell us how long you think we've been together. I know you've got a bet going." You narrowed your eyes, playfully glaring at each team member.

"4 months." Hotch begrudgingly admitted. JJ followed with 3 months, Derek and Rossi both betting 10 weeks, and Emily going with 6 weeks.

"Ha, you're all wrong." You smiled triumphantly, leaning closer to Spencer.

"Wait, we haven't heard from Garcia." Derek smirked as he rung her on speaker phone.

"Oh, my beautiful crime fighters. Y/N, are you okay?" Your smile widened at the concern in her voice.

"I am indeed, but I have a very important question for you." You glanced as Spencer briefly before continuing. "How long do you think Spence and I have been together?"

"Oh, I know this one!" Her excitement caught everyone but you off guard. "7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days."

Spencer's jaw dropped as he stuttered out, "that's exactly right..."

"How'd you figure it out?" The group of profilers wore matching expressions of surprise as Penelope explained.

"Well, we had just finished testifying in the Bigelow trial. The whole team went out for drinks, and I could just see it in Y/N's eyes the next day that something wonderful happened. At first I just thought that she got some, but then I saw her and the good doctor in the kitchen getting coffee and I knew." Penelope's voice held a mixture of smugness and pure excitement.

"Babygirl, you didn't tell me?" Derek sounded genuinely offended.

"Y/N asked me not to." Even though you couldn't see her, you knew she punctuated the statement with a shrug.

"You knew, she knew?" Spencer turned to you in shock.

You nodded. "I could see it on her face the second I walked out of the kitchen. But she promised not to tell, so I didn't either."

"The two of you, thick as thieves." Rossi lamented.

"I love you so much." Spencer whispered into your ear as he pulled you in for a hug.

"I love you too." You whispered right back.

"Honestly, I'm glad the secret's out." You smiled at Spencer before looking at the rest of the team. "Although, I wish I didn't have to be kidnapped to tell you."

You spent a few more hours in the hospital before being cleared to go back to the hotel.

The next morning, you smiled to yourself as you were finally able to cuddle with Spencer during the flight home.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

Criminal Minds taglist:

@mac99martin

@goldeng1rl8

@measure-in-pain

[jaskiersvalley]

I loved your fic about witchers being afraid of moths so much. I suffer mottophobia as well and the thought that witchers feel the same is nice. So thank you!!!

Nonnie, I'm so pleased you liked that story! Phobias of any kind can be so stressful, I hope moths don't bother you all that often. While I don't have another phobia story for you, I have something a little different that I hope you enjoy.

CW: Panic attacks

It had taken Aiden several years before he broached the idea of wintering together. He knew Lambert went to Kaer Morhen each season and didn't want to be rude by inviting himself to the Wolves' den. But he also didn't want to make Lambert have to choose between seeing his family for the season and accompanying Aiden to the Caravan. Really, he need not have feared because as soon as he brought up the topic of winter, Lambert was jumping at the chance.

"Want to go to the Caravan?"

Just like that, they spent three years wintering with Cats. Lambert fit right in, helping with life on the road without a hitch, messing around, teaching tricks and learning new ones in equal measure. He cooked, did repairs and was as accepted into the Caravan as a stranger could be. It made Aiden wonder whether he missed the pack feel of his own family of Wolves.

"This year-" he said with some hesitance late one summer, "-why don't we go north? Kaer Morhen has probably missed its youngest Wolf."

If Lambert's expression was anything to go by, he didn't agree. "Does the Caravan not want me this year?"

"What?" Aiden scoffed at the notion. "No! I thought you knew they all dote on you. I just thought you might want to spend a season with your family. You met mine..." Not that he'd ever say it out loud but Aiden wanted to meet Lambert's family too, he didn't want to be a shameful secret.

The terse "fine" sounded anything but fine. However, Lambert refused to discuss it any further and, come winter, he led them north. By the time they got to the bottom of the mountain Lambert was tense, quiet and anything he said was cutting. It wasn't the Lambert Aiden knew at all. But he reasoned that maybe Lambert was nervous about bringing a Cat home. The higher up they got, the faster Lambert's heart beat. Perhaps it was the excitement of coming home after so long, at least that was what Aiden told himself. He figured once they were done with the dangerous path up to Kaer Morhen then Lambert would relax. He was wrong.

They made it into the warmth of the halls and what followed was the most uncomfortable introduction Aiden had ever endured. Lambert stopped, arms crossed over his chest as he regarded the other three.

"This is Aiden. You break him, I break your necks." With that, Lambert stomped out, bristling and grumbling under his breath. Hastily, Aiden followed after a quick wave that the three Witchers looking suitably non-plussed by it all.

What was strange was that Lambert didn't settle. He was a fountain of bitter remarks, sarcastic quips and brash aggression. Aiden couldn't make heads or tails of it. The others didn't react, didn't seem like they even wanted to try and calm the situation. In the end Aiden couldn't stand by anymore and cornered Eskel, demanding answers.

"What do you mean?" The thing was, Eskel genuinely seemed confused. "That's just Lambert for you. You've known him for years now, surely you're used to it."

But Aiden wasn't. He hadn't seen Lambert like that before, so on edge. "No," he replied in the end. "This isn't how I know him. His heart rate's high, he's callous, spikey, lashing out. That's not the Lambert I know."

The look Eskel gave him was one of strange reproach. "The mutagens didn't fully take with him, his heart's always been faster than a normal Witcher's. As for the rest, I don't know what swamp water you drink to block it out but that's Lambert in a nutshell."

It wasn't. Aiden knew Lambert, spent years listening to his steady heartbeat, relishing when they fell in sync most nights. He'd seen the kindness and patience Lambert had out on the Path and at the Caravan. There was no mocking for getting footwork wrong, no calling the other person an idiot with a scoff. Nor had Aiden ever seen Lambert pace before, a restless tracing of a path between window and door of the bedroom. The growled "don't touch me" sounded full of threat, so much like a dog trying to prove he could really hurt an opponent in an effort to stave off an actual fight. Seeing Lambert like that hurt and Aiden didn't know what had provoked the change.

Things got worse when they were making repairs to Kaer Morhen, trying to undo all the damage the sacking had done. With the parts they inhabited secure and warm, Vesemir directed their work to the dungeons, salvaging what they could. Smoke stained books and scrolls along with bottles that contained the dregs of potions were pulled from partially collapsed rooms. Lambert was exceptionally acerbic, sniping at everyone including Aiden. It was all ignored until he snapped at Vesemir, "so what's the plan here, old man? Going to open up the torture chambers again to get your rocks off?"

"Another word from you and you'll be running the Killer twice before each meal," Vesemir growled, grabbing another thick book covered in ash and rock debris.

Throwing his hands up, Lambert stormed off, muttering about how he'd rather run the Killer night and day than suffer this idiocy. Nobody seemed to care that his breath had hitched and heartrate was rocketing higher. Well, Aiden cared. Seeing as none of the others looked interested in following Lambert, he took it upon himself.

"Best to leave him," Eskel called after him. "He'll probably destroy a few training dummies in a fit of rage and then calm. Ignoring him leads to the fewest injuries for all."

Not that Aiden cared. He followed the sour scent that Lambert had been coated in all winter, maybe even before that. True to Eskel's prediction, he was in the training yard but he wasn't decimating dummies. Instead, Lambert was staring blankly off into the distance, muscles locked into a tense hunch.

"Lamb?"

His name seemed to jerk Lambert out of whatever thoughts he'd gotten lost in. Whirling, he rounded on Aiden with a snarl. Not rising to it, Aiden held a arm open and stepped closer, inviting Lambert into a cuddle. His heart broke a little when Lambert reared away, spitting with rage. "Don't touch me!"

Truthfully, Aiden didn't have to, he could see the solid lines of muscles, coiled tight. Everything about Lambert screamed to be left alone but he couldn't, not when there was something so underlyingly wrong. If Aiden didn't know any better, he'd have said that anyone else behaving like Lambert was having a silent panic attack. Maybe Aiden didn't know any better. He'd rarely heard Lambert speak of Kaer Morhen or the others, and when it did it wasn't with fondness. Around them was destruction, every stone imbued with memories of a hard life. Aiden knew that the instructors were harsh, often punishing Lambert with a cane or deprivation as he grew up. Vesemir had been one of those men and Lambert had to face his tormentor on a daily basis. They'd been digging up the dungeon where the trials had been administered, pulling what they could on how to recreate the them. Each crumbling wall was another layer of memories of the sacking, of a life Lambert hated but had no idea how to leave behind. When the misery was the only thing he knew, the only steady thing in his life, it was easier to cling to it rather than embrace the terror of the unknow.

Keeping his distance, Aiden nodded. "It's okay." It wasn't but he had no idea what else to say. They were going to have to get through winter, it was too late to head down the mountain. But as soon as it was safe, Aiden was whisking Lambert away from it. He wasn't letting him face the traumas of his past again and again. It wasn't healthy to rip open those wounds, to come face to face with living memories each time he saw Vesemir and Kaer Morhen.

When Aiden stepped in again, Lambert didn't scuttle away. Instead, he was stiff as a board in Aiden's arms, quivering with pent up emotions. Slowly, Aiden rubbed his back, tried to urge him to relax into his hold. Ever so gradually Lambert did, letting Aiden take a fair chunk of his weight as the shaking got more pronounced. Without a word, Aiden held him, gave him the quiet and the space to finally fall apart. It made him wonder whether, in years gone by, Lambert would allow himself to break apart each night in the privacy of his room. Now, with Aiden there, had he been trying to hold it all together, no space safe enough to let his emotions out? Shuddering at the thought, Aiden held Lambert tighter. Come next year, they were going to spend winter with the Caravan again. Never again was Lambert going to have to face the haunting wraiths of his past. Not if Aiden could help it.

[supercorpkid]

It’s called agony, honestly.

Part 3 of T is for Trauma - The Series

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2510.

Warnings: All aboard the angst train.

Notes: This is happening at the same time of part 2, but from a different perspective.

Previously on the series – part 1, part 2

“Guys, I brought dinner!” Kara yells going into the kitchen and Lena walks in a while later. Kara is setting the table and already has a potsticker in her mouth, she looks behind Lena. “Where’s our little moody teenager?”

“I don’t know. I just got home.” Lena goes to Kara and they kiss, lovingly. “She’s probably in her room, on her phone, trying to ignore us. Is it weird that exactly when she turned 16, she started being moody?”

“It took her long enough.” Kara smiles, then kisses Lena one more time. “I’ll go check on her, don’t touch my potstickers.” She points at Lena with a smile, who rolls her eyes in response. Kara runs to your bedroom, and knocks on the door. “Hey, kid. Food is here.” No answer. “Kid! Come on!”

When she doesn’t hear anything back, and doesn’t see you inside with her x-ray vision, she opens the door unceremoniously to investigate inside.

“Kid, that’s not funny. Where are you?”

When she finally realizes you’re not in your room, she comes back to the kitchen, looking confused with her furrowed brows. Lena looks back at her.

“She’s not home.” Kara announces it. She used her x-ray vision; she is sure you’re not around.

“What do you mean she’s not home? It’s really late.” Lena points at the clock, like Kara doesn’t know it’s way past your time to be home. She then goes to the refrigerator to look at the calendar on the door. “Was there something at school? It’s not on the calendar.”

“Not that I know of. She doesn’t have training today either. Did you see her at L Corp today?”

“No. I had to ask them to stop letting me know when she was there, remember?” Lena looks back at Kara who looks like it’s seconds away from panicking. “Just call her. Maybe she’s distracted with something.”

Kara takes her phone out of her pocket and tries calling you. No answer.

“She’s not picking up.” Kara is now on the verge of a breakdown, and Lena knows it, just by how her eyebrows look.

“Keep trying. Let me call Jamie.” Lena goes to the living room where her phone is, and Kara follows her closely, phone still on her ear, as she is trying to call you again. “Jamie.”

“Hey, aunt Lena.”

“Hey hun, is your cousin with you?”

“uh…No?”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“When we left school. Why? Is everything alright?”

“Did she tell you where she was heading to?”

“Yeah, she was going to L Corp to talk to you. Why? What happened? Did you two talk?”

“No. But do you know the reason for the conversation?”

“I mean, yeah, but… I think it’s best if you and aunt Kara talk to her first.”

“Ok. Well, thank you, Jamie.” Lena hangs up and looks at Kara ready to pass the information along, but Kara already heard everything.

“I’m going to L Corp. Keep trying her phone.” Kara flies out the window and Lena tries to call you and texting you a few times.

It doesn’t take long, maybe a little more than five minutes, for Kara to call Lena again with news.

“She’s not at her lab, and I asked around L Corp and she hasn’t stepped foot in here today.” Kara's heart is beating incredibly fast, and her hands shake so much she almost drops her phone a few times. Lena sits on the couch at home, her own heart going crazy, and she allows herself to have the same reaction Kara is having. Something is wrong. She was trying to ignore her mother's sense, but now she can’t anymore. They don’t talk for a full minute. “Lena. What do we do?”

“The watch.” It’s like they even forgot about all of that. Lena runs to her laptop, while Kara looks at her own watch to see your location in it. She doesn’t even take the phone out of her ear. “She’s close.”

“Yeah, I’m tracking her on the necklace’s GPS and it seems she’s around L Corp.” Lena agrees, and Kara uses her super speed to get to you. But, it’s not you.

“Lena…” Kara bends down to grab both the watch and the necklace from the ground. “It’s on the sidewalk, both watch and necklace together.”

“What? She never takes off the necklace.”

“I don’t think she took it off.” Kara flies high, phone still in her hand and glued to her ear. “Call Alex, go to the DEO, I’m going to fly around to see if I can locate her. I’ll see you there in a few.”

When they talk again, it’s already on the DEO. Alex, Brainy and Lena are all there. As soon as Kara lands and Lena doesn’t see you with her, she starts crying. Kara goes to her and hugs her, trying to calm her down, but it’s hard when she is fighting her own tears.

“We’ll find her.” She whispers on Lena’s head and turns to Alex, waiting for good news.

“Maybe you should try flying around the planet?” It’s Alex's suggestion and Kara breaths heavily, knowing there’s no good news yet.

“I did. Twice.” She looks at Brainy. “Any portals to different dimensions were open today? Any readings on fifth dimension magic?” Brainy has already denied both options. “If someone took her, they have kryptonite. Any luck on that lead?”

“Still looking into that.” Brainy says and goes back to the computer. Alex gives a couple of steps towards your moms, holds Kara’s arm, squeezing it lightly.

“We’re going to find her.” Alex says reassuringly. She then goes to where Brainy is, leaving Kara and Lena alone to talk.

“Do you think she-she…” Lena’s lips are trembling, her hands are shaking so much, and there are so many tears her entire face is wet. “She ran away from us?”

“No! Lena, no!” Kara says, grabbing each side of Lena’s arms, and she shakes her head in denial. “No! She wouldn’t have left everything in the middle of the sidewalk like that. Not the necklace.”

“But she was so upset yesterday, and it’s our fault. Kara! Kara, it’s our fault. We let our baby down.” Lena sobs desperately. “What if she wanted to leave? What if she doesn’t want us to find her?”

“Hey, hey. That didn’t happen. I know she was mad, but she wouldn’t ditch everything on the sidewalk like that, she would’ve left it home or… Lena, love. It was just a stupid fight; she wouldn’t run away from us.” Kara says, but it’s not how she really feels, she is just saying that to reassure your mom. In her heart she knows they let you down. “And you heard Jamie, she wanted to go to L Corp to talk to you. So she couldn’t be that mad-”

“She might have changed her mind.” Lena says before she’s finished. Kara looks down, and then around. She breaths deep a couple of times knowing that if the two of them get desperate at the same time, nothing will get done.

“Lena.” Kara holds her tight. “I think I would rather have her run away from us and be safe, than the scenario I’m playing in my mind right now.”

“You don’t think I have that scenario too?” Lena tries to let go of her embrace, but Kara keeps her in, protectively. “I have every scenario playing in my head. I have everyone who could harm her listed in my head, and I-I should’ve figured out a way to put a microchip inside her. This is all my fault.”

“Love, we’re going to find her.” Kara kisses her forehead, and that makes Lena cry even harder thinking that’s how they sooth you. “I’m going to fly around again. Maybe I missed something.”

“Please. Kara, please, find our baby. Please.” Lena asks desperately and Kara’s heart shrinks even more.

“I’ll do whatever I can, love.” She kisses Lena, and yells at Alex on the other side of the room. “Find every building made out of lead. I’ll burst into every single one of them if I have to.”

“We’ll cross data with readings of Kryptonite.” Alex answers and Kara leaves right after.

“Tell me how I can help.” Lena asks both of the DEO agents, aggressively wiping her tears away. They both look at her with pity in their eyes.

“Lena-” Alex starts, but your mom doesn’t let her finish.

“Alex, don’t. Your daughter is home, safe and sound. You’re not allowed to do that, to look at me like that!”

“Little boxes, comrade.” Brainy jumps in, trying to help. Her eyes are filled with tears instantly.

“No offense Brainy, but there isn’t a box big enough for this. Just-Just please. I can’t sit around and do nothing. Please, tell me what to do.” She pleads in so much agony, Alex can’t ignore it.

“Come here.” Alex sits her in front of a big screen. “Kryptonite usually leaves a signature, but it disappears after a few hours. Jamie was the last one to see her, and that was after school. So, we’re having a hard time scanning for kryptonite. Brainy is looking at lead covered buildings, I’m looking into surveillance cameras on the way to L Corp. Can you keep scanning for kryptonite?”

“Yes. I’ll do it.” Lena goes back to the computer. Hearts jumping in her chest in anticipation.

She has to find you. She has to tell you that you were right. She promised she would be at your science fair, and she should’ve left everything and everyone behind, and kept her word. You’re the most important person in her life. No business deal is worth having you disappointed at her. And you were right, she was being selfish. She gave you a lab at L Corp to have you around her, while she could work at the same time. That wasn’t fair to you, it wasn’t quality time, since her mind wasn’t there with you. She has to find you. She has to apologize; she has to hug you and tell you she loves you. She has to.

“Alex, tell me you found something.” Kara comes back to the DEO after a few more rounds around the planet. It didn’t take her long to do so, but lucky for her, Alex has new leads.

“Surveillance camera.” Alex points at the big screen in front of them. Kara sees someone throwing you inside a van, and dropping your belongings on the floor. “You can try to find the van, there’s too many places with lead around here.”

“I’ll try that first, but keep going on the lead hiding spots.” Kara looks at Lena before flying away again. She is not crying anymore, but her eyes and face are still red and puffy. Kara wants to stop and comfort her, but she can’t, not unless she finds you. Until you’re back in their arms, there’s nothing she can say or do to comfort your mom, or herself.

Kara flies out again, knowing what to look for now. It takes her a while but she finds the van dumped on the side of a dark road. She opens the van with so much anger, the door comes out in her hand, leaving a hole where it used to be its place.

You’re not inside. There’s no one inside. Kara grunts in frustration and holds the bottom of the van, flipping it over in agony.

She can’t believe she hasn’t found you yet. She feels her heart squeezing in her chest and tears falling without her consent. It’s her fault you’re missing, that’s the only thing in her mind right now. If she wasn’t Supergirl, if she hadn’t pissed off so many people in this life, you wouldn’t be in this situation. She knows, by looking at your face in the video, that you were in so much pain because of kryptonite. There you were, in pain, and where was she when you needed her again? Why does this keep happening? Why can’t she ever protect you? This is all her fault, it’s all her fault. Kara’s heat vision explodes the van, while her mind plays tricks on her.

She flies high in the sky to look around. There is no place around where you could be, they ditched the van to trick her.

“Kara, get back to the DEO now.” She hears on her earpiece and she sure never flew so fast in her life before.

“What is it?” She asks appearing before them, out of the blue, making all three of them jump in surprise.

“The van?” Lena asks and Kara’s response is a head shake in denial.

“Dumped on the side of the road.” She looks at Brainy who’s currently looking for a way to focus on something in his tablet. “What is it?”

“Caught a message.” He says mysteriously. He puts whatever is in his tablet on the TVs in front of them. “It could be from anyone. It’s morse code.”

“Does she know morse code?” Kara looks at Lena who shrugs her response.

“It says. G-O-T. L-I-L-1.” Brainy looks back at them. “Does any of that means something to you?”

“It’s her.” Kara says, feeling her heart jumping in her chest. “Little one. It’s her.” She looks back at Lena. “Lena. It’s her!”

“What does G-O-T mean? Any idea?” Alex asks, going to her own tablet.

“I don’t know.” Lena sits in front of the computer again, typing furiously to find out. Everyone is silent for a few minutes, until Kara opens her mouth. “KARA, if you say Game of Thrones, I swear to GOD-”

“The van.” Kara looks at Alex, and then back at the message. “The van was on the road to Gotham.”

“Gotham.” Lena stands up fast. “Our baby is in Gotham.”

“Kara, wait!” Alex manages to hold her hand just in time before she flies away. “If they took her, they have Kryptonite, you said it yourself. You can’t go alone. You need a team.”

“Alex, the more she is exposed to Kryptonite, the less chance she has to survive.”

“I know. Brainy call J’onn! Kara, let me get some heavy armory. Supergirl doesn’t kill, but Agent Danvers sure does when someone messes with her family.” Alex says leaving everyone behind. Brainy is already talking to J’onn. Kara looks back at Lena, hearing both of their hearts jumping in anticipation.

“Supergirl might kill.” Kara mumbles with so much anger, it sends a shiver through Lena’s spine.

“Honey, listen to me.” Lena holds her arms. “I hate them just as much as you do, but don’t do it. Get our daughter, bring her home. That’s it. That’s the only thing you have to do. Let everyone else care about whoever did this to her.” Kara reluctantly agrees with her head. “This is your only mission. Bring our baby home.”

“I promise.” Kara brings Lena’s hand to her mouth and kisses it, gently. “I’ll bring our baby home if it’s the last thing I do.”