#expecting writers to just keep going is crazy to me

[andersonfilms]

people follow for the fics. whats happening in palestine is such a tragedy and deserves all the support it can get, but if you aren't producing the content people followed for, they will unfollow you. its not a display of not caring about current events.

it is though? just bc i’m on hiatus from writing, doesn’t mean i’ll never post again. it means not right now. just because i started posting about current events, y’all drop like flies bc if they cared, it wouldn’t bother them one bit. i’m not a pixel porn pumping machine — i’m a human being. it’d be good to remember that.

and current events? this is genocide. not some politician run i’m advocating for. every should care about the thousands of men, women, and children being brutally targeted and murdered.

i’m not coming at you, i’m just frustrated with those not taking this seriously. the people who are complicit by being silent against the ethnic cleansing of palestinians. by ignoring writers who are trying to spread awareness within the community, it makes you seem tone deaf to the world around you. a luxury the victims in palestine don’t have.

do better. please.

[deklo]

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON A TRC SALTBURN AU

HAHA ok to be fair i was only twenty minutes in but im now a little over an hour in and i can absolutely still see a deranged decladam dynamic. idk who farleigh would be in trc but that’s ok. i just think. they’re so nutso and i think declan esp would Work. and a little cheeky nutso adam would be so fun :) i was originally feeling a nice classic wild adansey but. declan makes more sense. ALSOOO would love to see aurora and niall as felix’s parents….are you kidding me

[moonstruckme]

It's me once again! Bothering you twice in a day, I'm annoying like that, ha just kidding. But yes James is soooo wholesome, it's crazy how he became my favorite boy. So Mae, I suppose you are super busy because being such amazing writer is no easy job when you have requests coming all the time but, if you have the time, whenever that is, could you write something about James? Like James being so wholesome, the best boyfriend, the fluffiest thing you can think of, maybe something with words or affirmation and kisses and hugs and just very lovely things, feel like I need that. If you can of course.

Hope you are having a very cool weekend and my username is basically my favorite colors and it has something to do with Van Gogh and my favorite singer but this kid knows something, haha it's so funny, kind of serendipitous if you ask me :) love that. Well, I'm going to set you free, read you soon.

P.S. Sorry this was so loonng

Hi lovely, thanks for requesting!! Sorry this took so long lol, I had to wait until I had an idea that wasn't already in my requests but I appreciate your patience! This is perhaps more hurt/comfort than straight fluff lol, but he is the most wholesome ever <3

cw: concussion

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 603 words

James’ hand is especially gentle as he strokes over your hair. Your nose dents into his thigh, and his jeans are coarse and scratchy but the slight pressure is nice. 

“Still dizzy?” he asks, carefully quiet. 

“A little.” Your own voice is thin, fraught. “Not as bad.” 

He sighs, and you feel too weird to decipher whether it’s in relief or dismay. “I’m sorry, angel.” He lifts one of your hands to his mouth, kissing the side. “Is it hurting in one place?” 

“It’s my whole face. But most in my forehead.” 

James’ touch is featherlight, ghosting over the spot where you’d smacked your head on the stairs. “Here?” 

“Mhm.” 

He makes a worried humming sound in response. You sit in silence for some time, and it’s not uncomfortable, but nothing is comfortable for you right now. You feel terrible, unlike yourself and unsettled because of that and also weepy but not as much as you are embarrassed. And dwelling upon any of this for too long makes your head spin worse. You don’t think you’re dying though it feels like you might be. 

The warm bead rolling down your nose brings you to the realization that you’re crying. James’ coo follows a moment later, and his hand splays protectively atop your head. 

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Do you feel alright to sit up?” 

“Okay,” you mumble. 

He does the work for you, though it’s hard to keep track of the movements. One second your head is on his lap and the next you’re propped against his chest, one muscled arm supporting your back while James rests his lips against your forehead. 

“You’re okay,” he promises. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

“I don’t really feel like going to dinner anymore,” you admit, tasting salt as a tear finds its way into your mouth. 

“Oh,” James lifts his lips to look you in the eyes, “honey, I didn’t expect you to. I’m going to call Remus and cancel in a minute, okay?” He brushes a lock of hair away from your face with his pinkie finger, stroking a sweet line down your cheek. “If you go anywhere, it should probably be to the doctor.” 

“No.” You close your eyes, too upset to care about the low whine that escapes you. “What’re they gonna do?” 

“I don’t know, baby.” James traces the same line again. “They might want to do an MRI or something. I’ve had a concussion before, they’re serious business.” 

You sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder. The material of his jumper is soft beneath your cheek. “I can’t think about it right now.” 

There’s a brief pause. 

“Okay. Okay, we can talk about it tomorrow, if it’s still bad then.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry.” James’ arm wraps around your middle, squeezing lightly in a gentle sort of hug. You think that he’s being very careful with you, which you appreciate. You don’t imagine you could handle much more sensation at the moment. “I know it sucks, angel, and you’re handling it so well. We’re gonna do our best to get you feeling better. I love you so much, you know?” 

You feel like you might cry again. You don’t think you have the energy to stop yourself. “I know,” you tell him. “I love you so much, too.” 

“Heaps and heaps.” He gives you another little squeeze, his ability to repress his affection tenuous at best. “Probably the most anyone has ever loved anyone, if we’re being honest.” 

“James.” 

“Yeah?”

“I can’t do that kind of math right now. I love you a lot, okay?” 

“Okay. Same here.”

[physalian]

What No One Tells you about Writing #3

Opening this up to writing as a whole, because it turns out I have a lot more to say!

Part 1

Part 2

1. You don’t fall in love with your characters immediately

But when you do, it’s a hit of serotonin like no other. I’d been writing a tight cast of characters for my sci-fi series since 2016 and switched over in a bout of writer’s block this year to my new fantasy book. I made it about ⅓ through writing the book going through the motions, unable to visualize what these new characters look like, sound like, or would behave like without a ‘camera’ on them.

Then, all of a sudden, I opened my document to keep on chugging with the first draft, and it clicked. They were no longer faceless elements of my plot, they were my characters and I was excited to see what they could accomplish, rooting for them to succeed. Sometimes, it takes a while, but it does come.

2. Sometimes a smaller edit is better than a massive rewrite

Unless you’re changing the trajectory of your entire plot, or a character’s arc really is unrecoverable, sometimes even a single line of dialogue, a single paragraph of introspection, or a quick exchange between two characters can change everything. If something isn’t working, or your beta readers consistently aren’t jiving with a character you yourself love, try taking a step back, looking at who they are as a person, and boil down what your feedback is telling you and it might demand a simpler fix than you expect.

Tiny details inserted at the right moment can move mountains. Fan theories stand on the backs of these minutiae. One sentence can turn a platonic relationship romantic. One sentence can unravel a fair and just argument. One sentence can fill or open a massive plot hole.

3. Outline? What outline?

Not every book demands weeks upon weeks of prep and worldbuilding. I would argue that jumping right in with only a vague direction in mind gives you a massive advantage: You can’t infodump research you haven’t done. Exposition is forced to come as the plot demands it, because you haven’t designed it yet.

Not every story is simple and straightforward, but even penning the first draft with your vague plan, *then* going back and adding in deeper worldbuilding elements, more thematic details, richer character development, can get you over the writer’s block hurdle and make it far less intimidating to just shut up and write the book.

4. It’s okay to let your characters take the wheel

I’ve seen writing advice that chastises authors who let their characters run wild, off the plan the story has for them. Yeah, doing this can harm your pacing and muddy a strong and consistent arc, but refusing to leave the box of your outline greatly limits your creativity. I do this particularly when writing romantic relationships (and end up like Captain Crunch going Oops! All Gays!).

Did I plan for these two to get together? No, it just happened organically as I wrote them talking, getting closer, getting to know each other better in the circumstances they find themselves in. Was this character meant to be gay? Well, he wasn’t meant to be straight, but you know what, he’d work really well with this other boy over here. None of that would have happened if I was bound and determined to follow my original plan, because my original plan didn’t account for how the story that I want to tell evolves. You aren’t clairvoyant—it’s okay if it didn’t end up where you thought it would.

5. Fight. Scenes. Suck.

Which is crazy because I love fantasy and sci-fi, the actiony-est genres. Some authors love battle scenes and fistfights. It comes naturally to them and I will forever be jealous. I hate fight scenes. I hate blocking and choreographing them. I hate how it doesn’t read like I’m watching a movie. I hate how it could take me hours to write a scene I can read in 5 minutes. I hate that there’s no way around it except to just not write them, or put in the elbow grease and practice.

Whatever your writing kryptonite is, don’t be too hard on yourself. It won’t ever replicate the movie in your head, but our audience isn’t privy to that movie and will be none the wiser of how this didn’t fit your expectations, because it’s probably awesome on its own. It could be a fight scene, sex scene, epic battle, cavalry charge, courtroom argument, car chase—whatever. Be patient, and kind to yourself and it will all come together.

6. Write the scenes you want to write first

And then be prepared to never use them. It can be mighty difficult working backwards from a climax and figuring out how to write the story around it, but if you’re sitting at your laptop staring at your cursor and watching it blink, stuck on a tedious moment that’s necessary but frustrating, go write something exciting. Even if that amazing scene ends up no longer working in the book your story becomes, you still get practice by writing it. Particularly if you hate beginnings or the pressure of a perfect first page is too high, you’re allowed to write any other moment in the book first.

And with that, be prepared to kill your darlings. Not your characters, I mean that one badass line of dialogue living rent free in your head. That epic monologue. That whump scenario for your favorite character. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out anymore, but even if it ends up in the trash, you can always salvage something from it, even if that’s only the knowledge of what not to do in the future.

7. “This is clearly an author insert.” … Yes. It is. Point?

No one likes Mary Sues, because a character who doesn’t struggle or learn to get everything they want in life is uncompelling. The most flagrant author inserts I see aren’t Mary Sues, they’re nerdy, awkward, boring white guys whose world changes to fit their perspective, instead of the other way around—they don’t have anything to say. I’m not the intended audience to relate to these characters and I accept that, but I don’t empathize with the so-called “strong female character” who also doesn’t have flaws or an arc either.

A good author insert? When the author gives their characters pieces of themselves. When the “author insert” struggles and learns and grows and it’s a therapeutic experience just writing these characters thrown into such horrible situations. They feel human when they’re given pieces of a human’s soul. They have real human flaws and idiosyncrasies. I don’t care if the author wrote themselves as the protagonist. I care that this protagonist is entertaining. So if you want to make yourself the hero of your book, go for it! But make sure you look in the mirror and write in your flaws, as much as your strengths.

[bennyden]

User hamatoanne's fic plagiarism

Hello, I’m the author of The Android, an AO3 Robot OC x Reader fic that was plagiarized by hamatoanne on Tumblr in her Aemond x Reader story, System Error. You can read my AO3 post for more info about the issue. As you can tell by the timestamps on AO3 and the screenshots of her now-deleted story, mine was posted months before hers. I didn’t want to make this public, but it appears Anne has not learned her lesson and is grasping at straws to keep her readers in the dark. She’s been deleting her stories to hide evidence of her plagiarism. I think you deserve to know who your beloved writer gets her words from.

I don’t know this fandom, but I’ve heard you guys can get pretty crazy. Control yourselves. The only one who needs to take responsibility is Anne. Don’t send hate to her mutuals. Don’t send hate to her followers. Don’t stalk or harass or dox anyone. Read through this post and form your opinion.

First bunch of screenshots: A side-by-side comparison of her story (now deleted) and mine (still up and linked above). I took screenshots in advance in case something like this happened so I’d have proof if I needed it. I decided to compare the first chapter of my fic with the first part of hers. I could do the whole thing, but I’m a busy college student and I think just a quick skim of the pictures below is enough for people to see the extent of her plagiarism. 

I have screenshots of her entire post, but I don’t want to make this too long to scroll through and Tumblr posts cap at 30 pictures. I’m assuming some of you have already read her story multiple times, so you’re familiar with the words. If you haven’t, then I should warn you that the fic that she plagiarized is very not SFW. I’ll let you know where the not SFW content starts so you can skip it. 

On the left is my story. On the right is what Anne posted (and took down).

Not SFW content starts here. 

Not SFW content over.

Finally, I DM’ed her. This was just before I posted to The Android on AO3 about the situation. To summarize, I wrote about how I would go about the situation and how hurt I was about a bigger creator stealing from me. I admit, I was too kind and too much of a pushover. I just wanted things to go quietly. She later replied with this and deleted her fic immediately. 

“I was completely stupid for not giving your credit” Why do they always play dumb? You copy that much and can’t even think to put my name there? You credit the artist but not the person who basically wrote your whole story? The story that gave you over 3k notes, so much more clout than any of your other stories has earned you? Total BS.

“I had every intention of giving credit where it was due…But I forgot” Right. Sure. Of course. If she felt guilty about plagiarizing, she would not be so shameless to accept praise like she did. I have examples of where she happily thanked people for complimenting "her work”, but didn’t want to bring other blogs into this, especially since they were none the wiser to her plagiarism. Ironically enough, someone even gifted her a badge for being a good writer the day she replied to my DM. She tagged that post “#a breath of fresh air on a horrible day”. I wonder why her day was horrible. Whoever gifted her that badge deserves their money back.

My thoughts when approaching her DMs were:

If she wants to keep up the story? Fine, just edit the post to say that it was heavily influenced by my story and leave a link to the original. I don’t mind. The readers will see that, click my story, compare the two, and think, “Hey, that’s not just inspiration! She plagiarized!” and her downfall would start from there without me having to do anything.

If she ignored me and didn’t fulfill that request, i would take matters into my own hands and expose her on her own post. Even more damaging.

In the end, she chose to delete the post entirely, getting rid of the evidence and her clout. I actually didn’t expect this outcome since I thought she’d like the clout too much, but I guess she decided this route would be the least damaging to her reputation. Everything was swept under the rug for now. 

And like a fool, I said thanks and went on with my life. But I decided to keep track of her. Because while I was too cowardly to do anything, I knew there would always be someone in the crowd who would take action. And it seems like people did. 

After reading the supportive comments from readers of my fic, I started to regret how lightly I handled it. I wanted to be mature even though I wanted her entire blog to fall and her reputation taken away. But I didn’t want to be a “bad person”. I wondered if I should keep pursuing the issue. I realized that my overly-people-pleasing behavior might lead her to continue her ways. I decided to speak out because others might’ve had their works taken by her and that my silence wasn’t helping. 

Next is her post, now deleted (I wonder why), about how she’s been so sad and how she’s going to be deleting her old stories and starting over. I’m likely not the only one she’s plagiarized from if she’s deleting other stories. At the time, I only saw supportive replies and reblogs on it, but maybe she deleted it after people started calling her out? Idk.

She’s playing the victim game pretty hard. Acting as a kind underdog even though she’s the big creator who stole from a nobody like me. I know I said on my AO3 update that people shouldn’t send hate to her (and even censored her name after she deleted her story) but I guess I’m a little happy that people sought to call her out on her shit. I wish I was as brave. 

Later, a nice person (we’ll call her Bob because she asked to remain anonymous) DM’ed me directly with a kind message. After seeing this, I decided I should take action and expose all of this since Anne obviously hasn’t learned and wants to keep it all hidden. Bob confirmed that I’m not the only victim of Anne’s plagiarism either.

Bob asked that I not use screenshots of our DM’s so here is a transcription of the important parts:

“Hey! I just found out that one of your fics had been plagiarized by someone in the HOTD community. First of all, I am tremendously sorry that happened…”

(For Bob’s privacy, I won’t explain her relation to Anne. Just know that Anne has refused to message her back).

“I definitely think you should make a blog post. with side by side comparison. I am still completely gobsmacked that she pilfered your entire story word for word and changed a few things. We found evidence that she had plagiarized multiple stories. Not just yours. We found out her mermaid!aemond fic was entirely stolen as well as a few others. She has quietly deleted them and hasn't spoken on them since.”

“We surmised that she takes ‘underrated’ fics from different fandoms and changes the name and that's it. It's almost like she believed that stealing from other fandoms was going to draw less attention than stealing directly from the HOTD fandom.”

So if you noticed that one of your favorite Aemond fics is gone, now you know why.

‘But benny, she still wrote her own sentences and just changed it around to fit aemond!’

Fanfiction is transformative. You know what the source material is and who created it. You know you’re not reading a copied and pasted text with maybe some words and sentences switched around. This wasn’t fanfic. According to Google, plagiarism is defined as, “the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.” (See what I did there? I credited Google. Is it so hard to give credit where credit is due?) She copied people's work, didn't give credit to the source material, and claimed it as her own. That's plagiarism.

I wouldn’t have had a problem if she properly credited me and linked the original story. I wouldn’t have had a problem if she didn’t blatantly copy and paste the entire text and premise. I wouldn’t even require getting permission to write a story based on my fic if she had satisfied those conditions.

She’s a 27-year-old grown-ass woman with enough free time to simp over some blond guy with an eyepatch. I’m a 21-year-old college student who only posts fics during the summer and winter because that’s when school’s on break. I’m too busy writing lab reports and essays to be an active writer online. The fact that she can disrespect smaller writers so tremendously should not be acceptable. The fact that she also deceived her devoted readers and friends about her "works" is also unacceptable.

What can you do about this? To be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I want to be a good person and say, “Don’t send any hate to Anne, don’t harass her. Just unfollow her and stop supporting her.” But that obviously hasn’t taught her anything. She’ll just make a half-assed apology, maybe go on hiatus, maybe disappear, and then pop up again under another name to steal from another creator. If you have any ideas on how to deal with this, please tell us. 

She can try to block me or delete her posts, but the evidence is out and the damage is done. Anything she does to hide this mess will only make it worse for her. I’d appreciate people bringing more awareness to this issue, especially if it can reach the eyes of others she’s taken from. 

Thanks for reading.

[dykesynthezoid]

I do think we’re getting at least some escalation of devil’s minion in s3 btw. And I don’t think that’s even me being hopeful or optimistic I think it’s literally just logical.

I’ve seen people say oh, but devil’s minion happens in QOTD, and s3 is TVL; and firstly, they’ve definitely made it sound like some elements of queen of the damned are going to be present in s3. Secondly, I suspect season 3 is going to end with the lead up to Lestat’s San Francisco concert. So the whole season will be both Lestat backstory + the set up for the events of QOTD. And devil’s minion happens, guess what, before Lestat’s San Francisco concert. It would almost not make sense to not at least touch on it while the other story beats are culminating up to that moment. Like, Daniel and Armand are already present in the story (where they aren’t in the book in the modern day storyline), why would you not continue their storylines to the next logical step?

Also, I think you have to consider just how many new characters and storylines QOTD introduces and how daunting that can be to absorb if you’re unfamiliar. Waiting to do anything with devil’s minion until season 4 means that’s just one more new storyline to have to inject into a narrative already very crowded with exposition. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense to do that, and I suspect the writers are pretty aware of that.

And frankly like. What other storylines would Daniel and Armand be getting? Like how are either of their stories supposed to move forward without, y’know, each other? Are we supposed to expect all of season 3 just to be one big pause button on both their larger narratives? That seems very silly. Daniel at least has the journey of adjusting to vampirism, but Armand especially is like. His semi-redemption and character evolution comes from devil’s minion. That’s the only real next step for him.

And I mean. Look at Assad and Eric. I don’t think Rolin Jones could convince them to wait a whole other season for something to happen if he tried. I know, I know it’s easy to be like “oh but maybe it’s just actors being silly” but compare how open they’re being about it now and how much more tight lipped they were in between seasons one and two. It’s night and day. It is a very very different vibe. And apparently, Assad has been plenty excited about it this entire time, so he was actually somehow managing to keep his mouth shut before. But now maybe he doesn’t need to, because he knows season 3 will at least offer something in the way of that development.

I think it’s entirely possible we won’t necessarily see the full “culmination” of their relationship until season 4, but I do think season 3 will at least have development and escalating tensions that are undeniable. I think it’ll likely start out slow and ramp up as the season continues. I’m not going to panic if we don’t get much in the first few episodes or if it takes until episode five to see Daniel’s turning. That might be needed, honestly, in terms of giving Lestat his necessary focus. But I think more small pieces will begin to accumulate, will escalate to a place of higher tension by the mid season, and then the finale will include some type of reveal or emotional climax, setting things up going into season 4.

And you know what, it’s worth mentioning: things have happened faster on this show than I expected before! I did not expect Daniel to be turned at the end of season 2. I thought we probably had a whole other season to go before that happened. “Well they were afraid of cancellation” / “well Eric just wanted to be a vampire so badly” and will these things also not apply to season 3/Eric and Assad wanting devil’s minion?? Idk babes. I’m doing the math and it doesn’t seem that crazy to me

[marvelouslizzie]

Trust In What Tomorrow Brings - Co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: After your first date with Bucky Barnes, you two spend some time alone in your apartment. That's when you realize you actually want to keep him.

Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, second encounter, teasing, pet names, sir and sergeant kink, a tiny bit of mommy kink, mentions of past relationships, mentions of trauma, protected and unprotected sex, praising dirty talking mixture, dry humping, ripped clothing, face riding, blowjob, rough sex, multiple orgasms, light punishment, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 11.9K

A/N: This is technically a second chapter to You’re My Desire but you don't need to read the first chapter to understand what's going on since this is their second date. We actually planned it as a one-shot but somehow 40s Bucky and this universe didn't want us to be done. So here we are with a sequel. We kinda went overboard with it because we just want Bucky to have a little bit of a good time in the middle of the war.

Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's a great writer and a talented creator in general.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the fourth paragraph of the story.

You may wanna read You're My Desire first

"This is absolutely crazy. They are all yours?" Bucky's fascinated smile is so cute that you smile, too.

“Oh yeah, I have been collecting books for a long time.”

"What's this?" He takes a book with a white cover that had no title or author written on it and analyzes it carefully.

“No, no, no.” You immediately try to take it back. “That’s not for your eyes, mister.”

"What?" Bucky snorts. "Is that your diary or what?"

“No, it’s not my diary.” You try to take the book back again, but you're not successful.

"Then why not?" He is even more curious now, turning his back a little to you to open it. "Even a dedication, huh? Is it from an old lover?" 

“No, it’s not. Come on, give it back.”

He sighs, not wanting to push you and hands you the book. "Okay, sorry."

You didn’t expect him to give up this easily. His consideration makes you wanna share a little bit more with him. So you open up a page and show him.

“This is why you aren’t supposed to see this.”

He was careful not to hurt her as he pushed her.

Her skin was so soft under his touch that nothing matters anymore.

"Oh god," Bucky covers his mouth. "Is the whole book like this, doll?"

“Pretty much.” You giggle a little, amused by his cute reaction.

"Wanna read it to me?" He winks.

“You can read it yourself if you wanna learn a thing or two.”

"Excuse you?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Are you questioning my skills now?"

You throw your head back, laughing, and Bucky crosses his arms with a frown as he watches you.

“I’m teasing you.”

"Sure." He puffs. He knows you have experience, but what if he doesn't keep up to your expectations?

“I’m really teasing you. Half of the things they do sound unrealistic.”

"Give me an example." His voice is somehow a little vulnerable.

You take a big breath, already regretting this. “Let’s see: having sex underwater like crazy. The girl is… wet for hours. They are going at it all night, and the guy comes several times in a row.”

Bucky snorts, coming closer to you. "Does he have the super super serum? Because that's not biologically possible."

“That’s exactly what I meant.“

"Yet you still read them. Who wrote this?"

“There aren’t many options when it comes to these kinds of books. The author is not written as you can see.” 

"How do you find them though?" He's genuinely curious.

“Mostly we borrow from each other. This one is my favorite so I bought a copy.”

"We? Who's we?"

“Girls. Exchanging books.”

Bucky's eyes glow all of a sudden. "Like a book club?"

“Yeah, like a book club.” You can’t help but smile at how excited he is.

"Oh god. Is it only for girls?" He tries to calm down a little, but this is so interesting he can't control himself. 

Your smile turns into a full laugh. “You wanna read erotic books with girls?”

Bucky groans embarrassed as he covers his face. "No, of course not. I was just wondering. I can read erotic books with my girl."

“Your girl?” You raise your right eyebrow playfully.

"Aren't you?" He drops the hand from his face to grab yours.

“It depends on you.” You really wanna kiss him, but you hold yourself back.

Bucky surprises you by grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your book falls on the floor, but neither of you cares as he kisses you gently. "Want to be my girl, doll?"

“Yes, yes.”

"Are you sure? I can't make love to you the whole night," Bucky says amused.

You laugh. “I don’t think I would survive that even if you could.”

He joins you in laughter. "I'd probably die mid-thrust."

“You know what, though?”

"What?"

“I didn’t think having sex against the wall was realistic. You know, carrying the other person the whole time while thrusting. I thought that no more than 2 or 3 minutes could be possible, but you proved me wrong.”

Bucky looks at her surprised. "Really?"

“Yeah, really. I still don’t know how you did that.”

"I just held you. I'm a soldier." He brushes it off. "Maybe your... friends need to exercise more."

“My friends?” You repeat in a joking manner.

"Special friends."

“I don’t have any special friends.”

"Doll," he groans. "You know what I mean."

“I know and I never had any special friends.”

Bucky sighs. "Your previous... partners."

“I just had one partner, and he wasn’t a special friend. He was my fiancé.”

"Oh?" He feels like a total fool for assuming that. The word engagement, though… That burns a hole in his stomach. "Your fiance? What happened?" 

“He got drafted, and then I found out he was cheating on me. So I broke off the engagement.”

Bucky can't believe it. How could he do that? "Wow, I'm sorry. I have no idea what to say. When did it happen?"

“Over a year ago.” You offer a little more information with a bitter smile. You're glad you found out then. It would have been a mess if you had gotten married before that. “It’s okay. You already said more than he ever did.”

"I..." Bucky takes a step back. You're probably still in pain. Maybe even in love or regretting what could have been. He doesn't know how to process this. "I'm sorry once again."

“It’s okay.” You shrug. “And look, I know what kind of impression I gave you on that first date. So if you don’t believe I only had one partner before, I understand it.”

"That's not... I frankly don't care how many partners you had. That is the last thing I'd ever care about. What we did was to follow our needs." He sighs. "But I want to know what you really want us to be. Because I am not sure I would be the right guy to mend your heart only."

He wants a whole lot more.

“I am not expecting you to mend my heart, Bucky.”

"You talked about pain," he says naively.

“Pain that happened in the past. I’m not in pain anymore.”

"Oh." He slaps his forehead. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood, I guess. I was surprised because we have a connection and I felt like you liked me back, so hearing that you suffer..." Bucky's eyes soften. "He's an idiot. He never deserved you. A coward and a horrible man. I am sorry you had to go through this."

You wrap your arms around his neck. “You think we have a connection, huh?” You ignore the rest. You don’t wanna think about the past anymore.

"I hope you feel it, too." He sounds so shy and vulnerable you can't help yourself but smile.

“You are in my apartment all alone. What do you think?”

"I think we should dance."

“Dance?” You are surprised by his sudden suggestion.

"Yes. I mean, I am not a great dancer, but I’m decent enough. Can we?"

“Yeah, of course. We should put some music on first.”

"You have a record player?! He doesn't even try to hide his shock and excitement anymore, so you grab him by his hand and drag him toward your record player. 

You watch him staring at the big pile of records on the table.

“I have my apartment now, so I can spend my money on books, records, and stuff to cook.”

"Can you adopt me?" He jokes, without taking his eyes off your record player. "Wanna be my mommy? You can be my special young mama."

“Oh?” You try really hard not to smile, a little confused. “How does that work?”

"How do you think it works?" He's not even trying to sound seductive, but he still does. You have to take a deep breath, trying to keep your excitement down.

“I really don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

"Hmm, maybe another time. How about we dance?"

“Okay,” you say and you start to go through your records until you find Frank Sinatra. You put the record on and manage to find There Are Such Things really quickly.

"I love this one! You have a treasure here, doll." You extend your hand out and wait for him to take it so you two can start dancing. "Wanna sway with me, ma'am?" He finally takes your hand and brings you closer.

“I would love that.”

You're not surprised he's a good dancer. You expected this to be honest. But his goofiness, his funny faces, the way his voice feels so pleasant as he sings the lyrics… You feel shy to sing along when he's such a good singer, so you only hum against his chest.

He is warm and strong under your touch. It makes you remember the time you were much closer than this. You wondered what got into you that day, why you acted the way you did. He’s just intoxicating, and you would totally do it all over again.

"What are you thinking about?” He looks at you. “You seem distracted. Wanna do something else?"

His voice takes you back to reality. You are ashamed to admit you were thinking about sex, so you snuggle against his chest.

“No. Let’s keep dancing.”

"Only if you tell me what got you so distracted." You feel his lips on your head as he speaks.

“Your touch.” You try to be honest but also not expose yourself completely.

"What about it? Already tired of it?" You know he does it intentionally. He's so easy to read at this point.

“Yeah, so tired of it, that’s why I wanna keep dancing.” You try to surpass the urge to smile.

Bucky snorts, unable to contain himself. "All types of dancing?"

“How many types of dancing do you know, Sergeant?”

"One that you know for sure, too. We practiced it before." The change of tone is so obvious, and his hands fully wrap around your hips, pushing you more against him. He's so hard.

You look up, not moving away from his chest when you realize you aren’t the only one thinking about sex just because you are dancing. It’s a relief.

“I thought we were doing a regular dance,” you say, but the smile on your lips is giving away your actual feelings about this situation.

"Isn't this regular?"

"If you want it to be."

"Sounds good to me."

"Where should we dance, though? Kitchen? Bedroom? Here? Bathroom?" You start to laugh. He’s such an idiot. "Floor?" He joins you and starts to laugh as well.

“Floor?” You frown. “I think we deserve a bed this time.”

"I was teasing you," He lifts your chin to kiss you properly. "Thought you liked it rough."

“It can be rough in bed.”

He groans at the thought of taking you hard in a soft bed. "I might break it, doll."

“I bet you could.”

"Is that a challenge?" You love the subtle tone in his voice.

“No, it’s a prediction.”

And just like that you finally realize the music has stopped, only the sound of the needle-moving breaking the silence.

"Should we, uhm, play another or…?" He asks curiously, letting you go.

“We can, but I am a little hungry. We can listen while eating, and you can choose the time. How does that sound?”

Bucky's eyes widen. "That's perfect."

*

"I love this. Where did you get it from?" He's playing with the bracelet you're wearing as he eats another strawberry, laying on the couch next to you. It feels so natural, like you did this a million times before, yet still exciting.

“Oh, this?” You move your arm a little, but not away from him. “It belonged to my grandmother.”

"It's so beautiful, a perfect fit for you."

“She told me my grandfather gifted this when they got engaged.”

"Rich." He can't help himself but comment. "Sorry, I mean it's really beautiful, but also kind of expensive. He must have loved her very much." Then he places a small kiss on your wrist, right below your bracelet. 

You laugh a little. “How do you think I could afford all this stuff?”

Bucky clears his throat, nervous. "You have a point, I just don't think about money. I don't come from a rich family."

“If you were, you wouldn’t be fighting in this war.” Your tone is suddenly more serious than you intended.

"So you don't mind going out with a nobody?" He sighs, just as serious.

“You are not nobody. Not to me!” You caress his cheek. “You are James Bucky Barnes.”

He melts under your touch immediately. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this type of warmth.

"You're so sweet."

“Wait. Does this mean…” You aren’t sure how to ask, but his comments about being rich remind you of the conversation you had not long ago. “The adopting or mommy thing you said. Does it mean this?”

He laughs so hard you can't believe it. Did you misunderstand? Is it not what it really means?

"I don't know, mama. What do you think that means?"

“Oh, come on! I have no idea and you know it!”

"I think you do."

“Nope. Not at all. Maybe you just want kids. That would make me a mama, right?”

"Hmm." Suddenly he’s distracted by that idea. He's simply too busy imagining his come dripping out of you to give you a proper answer, making you even more curious. 

“You are such a tease,” you grumble.

"What does that mean?"

“What do you think that means?” You mimic his question.

Bucky taps his thigh and smiles. "Come here. You can ask me anything." You look at his thighs and then back into his eyes, biting your lip. That offer is so appealing. "I thought you trusted my strength."

“Oh, I do.” You move a bit closer, but not on his lap. “I am just not trusting myself.”

He gasps, bringing you closer himself. "Fuck, why?"

“You know the answer to this one.” You remark cheekly.

"No, I really don't."

“You are lying, mister. You know what I mean when I say I don’t trust myself.” You move your legs, trying to find a comfortable position.

"I don't know exactly what you mean."

“You might find out later then.”

He groans, moving his hands to your breasts, unsure. "I wanna know now."

“I'll tell you only if you promise me that you'll explain the mom thing.” You like how distracted he looks, so you keep leaning in.

"You're a mommy right now."

“And what does that actually mean?”

He's too focused on your breasts to even hear you. "Fuck, look at those hard little things." He can't help but pinch one of your nipples.

“Bucky!”

"So squishy." He's so fascinated as he squeezes the other breast eagerly. He's like a distracted child.

You move a little bit back, so he can’t touch them. "No!" He immediately complains, reaching out to touch them again. "How dare you!"

“No answer, no touching.”

He lifts his head and gives you the most betrayed look you've ever seen. His eyes are almost glossy. "You can't take them away."

“I can actually.” You move a little bit more. “See? They come wherever I go.”

Bucky gasps, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. "Don't you dare!"

“You are so dramatic.” You laugh while hugging him back.

"I am not." He pouts, burying his face into your boobs again. 

“You are.” You move your hips just a little while still hugging him.

"What are you doing?"

“Nothing.”

"Nothing?" He moves his hips, too.

You make a sound you don’t expect but try to act like it didn’t happen. “Yeah, nothing.”

"Fuck me," he whispers to himself before taking your nipple in his mouth through the blouse. He wants to make you moan like that again. He needs to.

“Jesus, Bucky!”

"I'm your Jesus now?" He asks teasingly, switching to the other nipple.

“You can be my God if you keep doing that.” Shit, where did this response come from? He brings out a part of you that you didn’t know it even existed.

"You can't say this." He cries out unexpectedly, still licking you through your blouse. "You can't."

“Why?” It comes out like a whine.

"It's too much."

“You are too much.”

His hands grab the edge of your blouse without warning, but before he can rip it off, you slap his arms. 

“You can just take things off without ripping them, you know?” You take the top off yourself, showing him how it’s done. “See, it’s not that hard.”

He ignores your comment and doesn't even warn you before grabbing your boobs and squeezing them together. "Missed you." Then he brings his head right between them, snuggling. You can’t help but laugh. "What's so funny?"

“You are. Look at you.”

"Can't look at me. I'm looking at something better." He licks the valley between your breasts without letting them go, and you curse under your breath. "Gonna take them away from me again?" He lets his tongue get to your right breast, and you feel his teeth dangerously close to your nipple now, making you moan.

“I think I should shut my mouth. I’m boosting your ego way too much.” You play because he’s boosting your ego, too. 

"You can shut my mouth, baby. Anytime."

“Shut your mouth how?” You bring your hands over his mouth. “Like this?”

He bites your fingers in response. "Nope. Try again."

You move your hand to his neck and put a little pressure. “Maybe like this?”

He lets out the lowest moan you've ever heard from his mouth, closing his eyes. "Oh."

“Am I getting closer?” You ask. His eyes are so dark when he opens them, you're shocked. “Or did you mean something else?” You whisper right into his ear.

"Ihm. I did, can you guess?" He tries to distract himself before he can think about how much he enjoyed your grip on his neck. 

“I’m out of ideas,” you say, making him drop his hand to your skirt. His fingers are playing with the edge of it. You can feel the implication of him wanting to take your skirt off. “You want me to… Shut you up with… Like that?”

"Imagine it." He closes his eyes, palming you over your underwear. "You'd be able to control the movements more." 

“Did you… try this before? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

"You think you can hurt me?" He sounds so offended. "Oh, hell no. We should do this right now and I'll show you."

“Of course, I can hurt you. I could crush you!”

He looks at you amused. "Can't wait. Now come here and don't you dare hold back or you'll get a punishment. Got it?"

“Punishment?” Your eyes widen upon hearing that word. You aren’t sure if it’s scary or exciting. Could be both.

"I don't mean hurting you." He realizes immediately how this sounded. "I mean... spanking lightly."

“Oh, that kind of punishment.” You get a bit more relaxed, but your heart is beating fast. You move yourself where he wants you, but it feels so wrong. “I am afraid I might suffocate you.”

Bucky wants to protest immediately, but he stops himself. He knows you only need reassurance.

"How about we have a sign? If I tap three times on the couch, we stop. How about that?"

“Tap on me. Doesn’t matter where. Just on me, so I can feel it immediately.”

He nods, all melted. "Okay, now please don't hover." He gently orders.

“Tell me if I do anything wrong.” 

You lower yourself on his face while trying to gather your skirt up for him.

"Can I rip it off or not?"

“You can. I knew you were gonna ask that, so I wore something I don’t like much.”

"Skirt too?" 

“No. Not the skirt because I can take it off easily.” You unzip the skirt and take it off your head. “See?”

"Shame..," he says disappointed before finally ripping your underwear off with only one hand. "Finally!"

“You are a savage, Sergeant Barnes.”

"And I think you love that."

“Very much.” You lower yourself on his face, practically shutting him up like he wanted. He doesn't disappoint as he moans against you, making sure you're not hovering before pushing his tongue inside you. “Oh my god!” You yelp when you feel his warm tongue for the first time.

He can't answer as he's too busy eating you, but you feel his hands squeezing your skin harder. You spread your legs even further to feel his tongue better. It feels so good that you have a hard time keeping your voice down.

"Good girl." His praise goes directly to your core, and you curse under your breath, thinking you won’t last long. He can't help himself but bring one of his hands to your clit, hesitating.

“Just your tongue.” You request while moaning, and he agrees wordlessly.

You start to move your hips back and forth, trying not to go overboard and Bucky seems to love it, groaning louder against you, moving his tongue. As it gets more delightful, you have a hard time balancing yourself, so you grab onto his hair with one hand.

"Fuck!" He takes his mouth off just to curse. "Pull as hard as you want."

You pull his hair a little bit more before he puts his mouth back on you, just to see his reaction.

"Jesus, I'm..." he's so hard and excited that he's already started to leak. "I'm gonna make a mess on your couch."

“I’m already making a mess on my couch.” You are dripping wet, and he’s worried about making the mess. He’s so cute, especially when he’s laying down to please you like this.

"Keep bouncing, baby," he demands, then in no time, his tongue is flat, ready to be used by you, and you don’t hesitate.

You hold onto his hair with your right hand as you ride his tongue. You don't even realize how hard you pull until you hear his moans, encouraging you to keep going. He's clearly not suffocating, and you don’t realize how fast you are moving your hips, either. Not until you explode on his face, moaning mindlessly while trying to keep your shaking legs moving until you are done coming.

What surprises you the whole time is how he doesn't stop using his tongue until you finish, trying to hold you in place so he can give you more pleasure. You move yourself back a little after you are done, sitting on his chest and trying to catch your breath. You feel like a mess. 

"How was it?" He doesn't move as he asks you that, only wiping his face with the back of his left hand.

“Earth-shattering. Wow.”

He snorts before licking his fingers right under your eyes. "Gonna listen to me next time?"

“Yes, sir,” you jokingly say, feeling boneless but still needing more.

"No." His answer comes more like a groan than an affirmation. "You can't… call me sir."

“Why not, sir?”

"God, it sounds so... great." He doesn't know what else to say, covering his face shily.

“Did I just discover something about you or did you already know this?” You finally move away from his chest, leaning down to kiss him.

"It's something new."

“What about Sargeant? That you must have known.” You move your lips to his cheek, just making them brush his skin.

"Come on. Kiss me." He complains.

“Ask nicely.”

"Please?"

You finally kiss him on the cheek. "You are so pretty when you beg." Then you move your lips to his jaw and neck.

"You are even prettier when you listen." 

"Am I? What if I don't listen?"

He brings his hand to your neck. "You're a bad, bad girl. And bad girls get punished." He smiles.

"I never got punished in bed before."

He smiles. "What would you want to try? Spanking as I suggested before?"

"You are giving the orders, remember? Not me."

Bucky raises his eyebrow. "You mean you pretend I'm giving the orders."

"Maybe I want you to give the orders, not just pretend." He squeezes the sides of the neck.

"You can try whatever you wanna try. You can give orders, just stop whenever I say stop."

"Deal.”

*

It feels strange to have him in your bedroom, truth be told. Especially watching him getting rid of his underwear and socks this close to you. His hair bounces with every move, so you can't help but giggle. And he looks so good. Really good, especially under proper lighting.

It’s not the first time you are seeing him half-naked, but you definitely didn’t get a good look while having a quickie in a dark alley. His body looks toned, strong, and capable. You are dying to feel his touch, but you stand still, waiting for him to come to you.

"How many taps when you want me to stop?"

“Three.”

"Good." He smiles assuringly before slowly spreading your legs further. "You're so cute waiting for me."

“Just cute?”

He shakes his head, finally positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes are stuck on you: your hair, face, neck, chest. "You're sweet too," he teases, pushing inside you.

“Fuck.” You moan silently. It feels so good to feel him inside you again. “Sweet? Anything else?” You voice comes out so breathy.

"Smart. Nerdy." He leans in, putting more of his weight onto his elbows. "Beautiful. Brave. Loud and adorable."

“Brave?” You look confused while biting your bottom lip, trying not to make a loud sound.

"Aren't you?" He smiles, starting to thrust a little faster, but not enough to make it impossible to speak. At least for now. "Brave to move on from a failed engagement. Brave to live with your friend here. Brave to accept our date. Brave to test me." His laugh is so contagious.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. “You think I tested you?” Your lips are inches away from his.

"I know you did." He kisses you, not waiting for you to do it as he lifts one of your legs on his shoulder. "At the fair." He sounds out of breath this time, his thrusts hitting a little deeper.

You wanna say you didn’t, that it wasn’t a test. It is something that happened, and you don’t regret it, but instead, a loud moan escapes your mouth. The angle change fills you with a different kind of pleasure. 

"What a responsive doll you are." He smiles against your neck. "So perfect for me." You pull your legs, spreading your legs even further to give him more space to move. It makes his thrusts feel even better somehow. "Jesus, this is..." He's trying to find the perfect words to describe how he feels, but there are none. "Heaven."

“Oh, god!” It’s hard to keep your voice down when he latches onto the closest nipple, Whatever he’s doing with that tongue, it helps you to feel better down there. It’s driving you closer to your release.

"I'm your god now?" He jokes, stopping the sucking for a few seconds just to tease you.

“Yes! Yes, you are. Keep doing that and I will worship you later.”

He doesn't just continue lick and suck on your breast, he also starts thrusting deeper than before. The sound of the bed moving is even more obvious now. There is no way your neighbors don't know what is happening. 

“Shit!” It’s so hard not to curse when he’s pounding like that, hitting all the right spots. “I’m so close,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. “Just keep going, don’t change anything.” 

"Just like this?" He asks, keeping the same pace as you asked. "Are you going to be good and enjoy yourself?"

“You have no idea…” You try to collect yourself to form a sentence. “How good I feel right now.”

"I do," he says breathlessly before letting his teeth and tongue mark your neck. The pain you feel somehow enhances the pleasure, and you suddenly find yourself throwing your head back, shutting your eyes, and moaning his name over and over again. You’re coming so hard. "I feel like... Doll, please, say my name again."

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.” It’s all you wanna say anyway. “Please, don’t stop. Please!” You have no idea why you’re begging. You know he won’t stop, yet you still wanna do it. You still wanna beg him not to stop. It feels that good, that precious.

"Never." He manages to answer you between moans. "I'd rather die."

“Oh god, I think I…” Pleasure keeps hitting you in waves. “I might be dying myself.” You never had an orgasm this long. Your whole body is tensed up. You can actually hear your ears ringing.

"Gonna come for you, pretty doll." He bites your neck on another spot.

“Please, please.” It’s like you forgot all the other words. You watch him through a haze how he reaches his orgasm, saying your name like a whisper as he suddenly stays still inside you.

After he finishes, you close the distance and give him a big kiss. Sloppy and loving. It feels like you are thanking him for all the pleasure he’s just given you.

"Hi." He smiles. "Are you good?"

“God! I feel like I am still on the clouds.” You caress his face, carefully admiring his features. “What about you?”

He smiles. "I'm in heaven."

“Does it always feel this good?” The words come out of your mouth unintentionally. You really didn’t mean to ask that out loud. It was just a thought. “I mean, I don’t know what you are doing different to make it feel so good. I didn’t experience this before.” You keep rambling, trying to explain yourself. “So I wonder if it is supposed to feel this good all the time. But I’m not trying to question your past or anything. Don’t get me wrong.” You would keep talking if he didn’t cut you off.

"Breathe, baby. No, it doesn't feel like this with everyone else because you don't always have a connection. I am so glad to hear I made you happy." He smiles like a fool.

You cover your face with your hands. “I shouldn’t have asked that, I am sorry. It feels like it’s something you keep to yourself.” 

"What? No. Ask me and I'll answer."

You finally take your hands off your face.

“Okay. I have another question then.” He’s still inside you. and you can feel him getting hard again. “Is it normal that you are already getting hard inside me this quickly?”

He groans. "Told you, you felt amazing."

“That’s not my question, though. Is this normal for you? You always get hard this quickly after coming?” You insist because you wanna know. You have a feeling there’s something different about him, and you wanna prove it to him. 

He has no idea about your intention, though. He’s worried that he’s hurting you, so in a few seconds, he quickly gets out of you. 

"Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." He raises from the bed, taking off the used condom as he walks to the nightstand. "And yes, I do become hard like this. Why?"

“You didn’t hurt me.” You want to quickly clear that up. “And you know it takes at least half an hour for other men, right? That’s not… how it normally works.”

Bucky laughs. "They haven't met you."

“I’m talking from experience this time. In this case, they met me. This has nothing to do with me.”

He rolls the second condom on as he speaks. "Maybe I'm a lucky man."

“Okay, you are ignoring too many signs. I have to prove it to you. Bring me that small mirror.” 

Bucky starts laughing, but he does what you ask him to, then coming back.. "What are you gonna do, huh?"

You sit on his lap, and just like that he’s back inside you.

“Welcome back.” You joke with a smile. “Now gimme the mirror.” He hands it over, and without explaining anything, you lean down, gently licking and sucking on a certain spot. 

Bucky tries desperately not to thrust his hips. After a while, you start to bite his neckless gently, which makes you feel a little guilty.

He doesn't seem to mind though. Quite the contrary. "You can bite harder.”

“Hmm…” If he doesn’t mind, you don’t mind biting harder either. So you do it again, dragging the skin with your teeth. “God, you’re so delicious.”

His hands find their way to your breasts, making sure not to grab them too hard. You bite the same spot again, fand a red spot is already forming.

"Little artist," he says when you reach for the mirror, turning it to him so he can see his neck. It’s clearly dark red. "See? You gave me a hickey. Congrats, baby." He smiles proudly and kisses your cheek.

“Let’s see how long it will take you to heal.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. "I just have a ticker skin, baby. Now come on, please, do something. Why are you torturing me?"

“I’m a small, adorable girl. I don’t know how I am supposed to move.” You are fully lying, and he knows it. So he decides to play your game.

"Bounce a little. Up and down."

You act like you are trying and failing. “Like this?”

Bucky shakes his head. "Try again. Change the angle a bit."

“Oh, come on, Bucky.” You whine. You love and hate how he quickly catches up to whatever you try to do.

"You should be a good little girl and try it yourself."

“Fine.” You frown and start moving for real this time, and he immediately wraps his arms properly around your waist.

"What's wrong?" 

“I was teasing you, so you would get tired of it and take control.”

He smiles. "I know."

In response, you punch him in his shoulder. “Then why didn’t you?”

"Why would I give you what you want now?" His voice drops lower. "Wanna push your limits."

“My limits?” You repeat as he brushes your nipples. “You wanna torture me? Make me desperate? Is that what it is?”

Bucky smiles, getting his lips close to yours again, but before he can kiss you, he takes you by the back of the head and moves you. You whine when he gets out of you.

“Bucky! What the fuck?”

"I need you to trust me, okay?" He tries to help get on all fours as he speaks. You nod in agreement. "Need your ass a little higher."

“My ass?” You sound a little afraid. You are definitely not ready for that if that’s his intention.

"Yes." He doesn't notice the change in your tone right away. "Promise I don't- oh, I don't plan on doing anything like that I promise. Just trust me."

You take a deep breath of relief. “Okay.”

"Put your weight on your elbows, okay?" You do as he asks. You switch the weight, putting your head down while your ass goes higher. "Do you feel comfortable?" 

“It’s a little weird, but not uncomfortable.”

"Ready?"

“Yes!” You sound impatient, and he quickly pushes inside you. Not too much, afraid he might hurt you in any way.  It must feel way deeper like this, and he doesn't want to risk it.

"God," he finds himself moaning. "You feel so good." You can’t respond to him though. All you can do is just moan. It feels incredible. "All good?"

“Yeah.” Your voice feels a little different. Raspy. “You can move.”

Bucky lets out a deep breath before finally trying out a few slow thrusts. "How does it feel?"

“Good. Really good.” It’s like your vocabulary disappears when you two have sex. It’s hard to form sentences or express yourself.

"How about this?" He asks while moving much faster. It's something about this angle that gives him more room to use his strength.

“Jesus Christ!” You mumble. How can it feel this good?

"I don't think I can last as long as before." He groans as he watches you shiver under him. The way you sound like this, your position, the way you feel... He's on another planet.

“I don’t think you have to.” It’s unbelievable how close you are. It’s normally not that easy for you, but things are different when you are with him.

He keeps the same pace, focusing on your moans and the sound of your skin slapping. His mouth somehow manages to find your shoulder and he licks the same spot for a few seconds, making you shiver. "So sweet for me."

Even though you love how he is licking and talking into you ear, him leaning in changes the angle and the pace. It’s not as rough as it was before, and you find yourself moving your hips back, trying to get more friction.

"Look at that." He smiles against your shoulder, sounding fascinated. "Someone is unhappy with my services."

“Not unhappy.” You definitely aren’t. “It’s just… my hips don’t listen to me anymore.”

"Oh, no," Bucky comments amused before getting back to his initial position. "Your poor hips."

You know he isn’t mocking you for real but something about it irritates you. So you stop moving your hips. “Better?”

He lifts his eyebrow even though he knows you can't see him. "Hmm." You suddenly feel a slap on your ass. You make a sound that can only be described as a half moan half yelp.

"What was that?" Another spank follows. This time you’re moaning when the burning feeling spreads on your ass cheek completely. You feel the urge to move your hips again, but you refrain yourself.

"Look at you, bratty little cat. You're getting wetter because of this." He's so excited as he rubs your cheeks with both of his hands, but you can do this later. He's too close. You are, too. And just like that, he's back to fucking you. He doesn't go back to his gentle rhythm. Surprisingly, his thrusts are deep and fast.

“Oh my god!” The rhytm is finally the way you wanted it again. Instinctively, you lean in a bit more, and your head gets buried in the bed while your ass is a little higher than before.

"Jesus, doll." He cries out, feeling so overwhelmed. "I'm so close. So... so close."

Your hand moves to your clit, touching yourself just the way you like it, even though it feels so hard to do while he’s pounding you. That’s all you need to finally reach the climax. You're not quiet at all despite your failed attempt to muffle your moans with your pillow. And Bucky feels like that's it. He doesn't even manage to warn you that he’s following you and coming hard. He softly moans your name after he finishes, falling onto your back just to feel your skin.

His hands wrap around your body and you let yourself fall with him. The indescribable pleasure you felt is still running through your whole body.

"Wow!"

You laugh a little, trying to turn your head. You wanna see him, kiss him, and maybe tease him a little, but he's already prepping kisses all over your neck, then your back. 

“You are crushing me,” you say jokingly but it’s half true.

"Oh, sorry." He immediately gets off you, throwing himself on the bed completely.

“Don’t go that far away though.” You exaggerate a little, opening your arms. You want him as close as possible.

Bucky doesn't hesitate to use this as an opportunity to bury his head into your boobs. "Hmm, perfect. I’m in heaven with you and these babies." He kisses both of your breasts to emphasize what he means.

You can’t help but snort. “Babies?”

"Yes, my babies. My dolls."

“I thought they were mine.”

Bucky puffs before snuggling even more. "Only mine."

“And I have no say in this?” You joke again, and he shakes his head.  “Does it mean this…” You grab his dick gently. It’s soft and the condom is dangling. “...is mine?”

His whine is so loud, making you giggle. "Of course it's yours."

“Oh, I love this deal.” You use your thumb and index finger to take the condom off.

"Fuck." He closes his eyes.

“Sensitive?”

"A little."

“That’s okay.” You give him a little kiss on the head, then move a little so you can tie the condom up. That makes you see the hickey on his neck again, which is almost gone. You put the condom away and reach for the mirror you used before.

"What?"

“Remember the lovely hickey I gave you?” Bucky nods. “Wanna see it now?” You lift the mirror so he can take a look. He expected to see only a faded pink mark, but instead the skin is intact as if you never bit him. 

"How!?"

“That’s my question exactly.”

"What the fuck is going on?" His hand goes to the place your mark used to be and there's no trace of any teeth. "Holy cow."

“I think you are healing faster than any of us.” You stop for a second. “Like Steve.”

Bucky's eyes immediately find yours. "You don't mean..."

“I don’t know what I mean, to be honest, because I don’t know any details. Like… Did you participate in whatever they did to him? Or maybe it’s something transmittable, I don’t know.”

You see him going pale all of the sudden, and your heart drops. He seems to know what caused this.

"They must have done something to me when I was captured. But I didn't change like he did." He looks so confused, like he’s trying to put the puzzle pieces together. "I'm not like Steve."

“You were captured?!” That’s all you focus on. You have to know.

"I was." He sighs, placing the mirror on the floor before pulling you onto his lap. "By Hydra. Long story short, my unit and I were sent at some point at a weapon facility in Europe. In Austria... We were forced to work on an advanced bomber plane. I have no idea what happened to that, but I was so..." Bucky closes his eyes. "I was starving, losing weight every day. I was so weak I couldn't continue, so they did something else."

“Dear God.” You are completely shocked. “Are you okay?”

"I was basically a test subject for a crazy doctor. I thought they just tested different things for a death serum. But now I am not sure at all." He's so lost in his memories now. He is clearly not like Steve, but it's so weird how his health reports were fine. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about it any longer. "I'm more than well when I'm with you." He finally answers your question.

“I’m glad you are here with me.” You give him a full kiss, thinking about all the possibilities, everything that could’ve happened before you two had the chance to meet. You wouldn’t even know who he is and that somehow hurts more.

"You're so precious." He hugs you so tightly you feel like you're about to cry.

You try not the think about how he could’ve been still a captive. You can’t imagine how horrible that experience must be, but you don’t wanna cry. Not when he’s in your arms like this. 

“Wanna test out how super you are?” You suggests instead. A change of subject can help you both.

"Want me to cook for you? Going to prove to you I am marriage material after all." He smiles.

Your eyes widen with surprise. “Marriage?” That definitely wasn’t what you were expecting him to say.

"Don't mind me, doll. What did you have in mind?"

“No, no, no. You can’t say that and leave it at that.”

Bucky strokes your hair. "What else can I say? I'm embarrassing myself."

“Embarrassing yourself? Nope, you aren’t.” You shake your head. “You are giving me hope but don’t do it if you don’t mean it, okay?”

"Of course I mean it," he immediately says, not letting you doubt even for a second. "But I thought... it is a bit early. I didn't want to be overbearing."

“It’s not. I know we don’t know each other that well yet and we might change our minds later. I’m not taking this as a promise or anything.”

"Well," he raises your hand and brings it to his mouth just to place a soft kiss on it. "I would be lucky if you wanted me after all of this." You give him a confused look, and he clarifies: "This whole weird healing thing and my sad story." He snorts, belittling himself. You are not having any of this though.

“I think it’s…” You try to find the right words. “really hot, and I really wanna test your limits because I think your healing applies to your… recovery, too. Remember how quickly you got hard again?”

Bucky laughs. "So it's all about this, huh?"

“What? Don’t you wanna find out if I am right?”

"I don't have another condom, love." He sighs.

“I mean we did it without a condom before.” It’s the truth, but it feels so weird to ask for more after having great sex. You should be content with it, but no, your body craves more.

Bucky kisses your shoulder again. 

"I know, but we risked it. I don't want to make you take a risk. Even if I don't spill inside you..." You don’t like the fact that he’s right. What you don’t realize is that your face is showing what you are thinking. "I can use my tongue if you want." He smiles, trying to find another solution.

“The point is testing your limits, Sergeant.”

"My limits of my tongue count." He kisses you for a few seconds.

“You are so annoying, rejecting my offer, Sargaent.”

Bucky gasps. "I did not! I just tried to look out for you."

“It’s okay.” You make a move to get up. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

He grabs you by your wrist. "Don't do this to me." 

“I’m just listening to what you are saying.”

He frowns. "Then why do I feel like the bad guy?"

“Because you rejected this…” You show yourself. “A pretty girl’s offer for more sex.

"My pretty girl wants sex even without protection?"

“She does.” You purse your lips, feeling a bit vulnerable and trying to cover it.

"Then…" He pulls you closer and kisses you gently, holding your face with both of his hands.

“You love torturing me,” you say between kisses.

"Not as much as you do." 

"Wanna do the honors or should I?" He grabs his cock with a hand, waiting for you to move or just say something.

“Oh, be my guest. Do whatever you wanna do. Just pull out in time.”

"Promise." He kisses you before getting inside you in one swift motion.

*

There are no words to describe how tired you feel. Exhausted comes close, but it doesn’t cover the pleasure you are still feeling despite your jelly legs. You aren’t sure if you made the best or the worst decision of your life when you suggested testing his limits because you lost the count of the orgasms you had. You are ruined. Simply ruined by him. No man will ever compare.

"Did I pass?" Bucky asks breathlessly, holding you against his chest. “Am I husband material?"

You can’t believe he is still wondering that. This wasn’t meant to be a husband material test, but you gotta admit that he passed with flying colors. 

“You know we weren’t testing that, right?”

"Such a loss." He plays amused. "What did we test then?"

“How quickly your body can recover, and now we can safely say that you are not a regular guy.”

Bucky sighs. "Then what am I?"

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” You run your hand on his cheek, gently caressing it before giving him a big kiss. You wonder why he wants to be a regular guy. He’s perfect the way he is.

Bucky immediately melts under you. "That's not nice. You read my thoughts and use them against me," he explains more emotionally than before.

“Maybe we are just sharing the same thoughts and feelings.”

"We are a perfect match."

“It seems so.” You quickly agree. “And you are perfect the way you are. I get that you don’t know what exactly this is but it seems cool so far.” You try to put his mind at ease. “And no one knows about it. You don’t have to be like Steve, you can keep being yourself.”

"You're so sweet." He leaves a soft kiss on your hair.

“I’m not usually sweet. Maybe it’s the afterglow talking.” You joke to lighten the mood.

He snorts. "You're the sweetest person I've ever met."

“Now that’s a lie.” You keep the same tone.

"If that's a lie, I am a normal guy."

“That’s even a bigger lie. You are nowhere close to being a normal guy. Normal guys suck.”

Bucky's fingers travel to your belly. "Is that so?"

“No, no, no.” You try to avoid getting tickled. “Bucky, please.”

"Say you're the sweetest girl in the world, and I might show you some mercy."

“Fine, fine, fine.” You accept the defeat. “I’m the sweetest girl in the world. Okay?”

"I can't hear you." He tickles you harder. 

“BUCKY!” You protest, but he doesn’t stop. “I’M THE SWEETEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.”

"Good." He finally lets go, grabbing your face just to give you the sloppiest kiss you've ever shared. “Now close your eyes. You need to sleep."

You wanna be mad at him for tickling you hard, but you can’t.

“Oh, I gotta clean myself a little first.”

“Let me help you. Where do you keep your towels?" 

You already thought he was perfect, but he’s showing you he’s even better than you thought. How is he real? How did you get this lucky? You don’t know. 

“Just sit down, baby. I can handle those.”

"Let's make a deal: I change the sheets while you clean if you want." You wanna say no and you can handle those. but you are so tired. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” You can’t deny that it’s efficient, and you wanna see if he can do it right. This is the real marriage material test, but he won’t know until you see the results. You hand him the new sheets and leave him to work, so you can clean yourself pretty quickly. 

You really made a big mess. Cleaning takes longer than you expected, but when you come back, you find a freshly made bed.

"Ready for bed now?"

“Yeah.” You inspect the sheets. He made the bed perfectly. “Unbelievable.” You didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it came out anyway. “Perfectly made. I think I will have to marry you, Sergeant Barnes.”

He smiles widely. "So I passed my test?"

“Yep.” You move onto the bed. “If you can cook as well, I won’t ever let you go. Say goodbye to your bachelor days.”

Bucky pulls you to him. "Goodbye, bachelor days."

You laugh while kissing him.  

“Let’s sleep.” You snuggle closer while he yawns.

*

You have been awake for a couple of minutes, just trying to fully wake up and freely watch Bucky sleeping. He looks so pretty and innocent.

Long lashes, kissable lips, big arms. God, why does he have to be this pretty?

You lean in, with the intention to give him a kiss like a normal person, but god, those arms look so biteable. Before you can change your mind, you bite his arm and watch him slowly wake up. Then you start giving him small kisses: on his arm, on his cheeks, and finally when he opens his eyes, on his lips.

"Good morning." He gives you an innocent look. 

“Good morning, handsome.” You kiss his cheek again.

"Handsome?" His voice is so raspy in the morning.

“Yeah, handsome. Very very handsome.”

He smiles when you snuggle closer to him. "So sweet. I have a question. Do you have a toothbrush for me?" His eyes are semi-closed as he asks.

“Oh, sure. I can find one.”

"I didn't realize I will stay over. I'm sorry for wasting one of yours."

“Oh, shut up.” You push him a little playfully. “You can waste anything you want.”

You come closer to give him a kiss. You don’t care about the toothbrush or anything else. You are just enjoying being in bed with him.

"My breath smells really bad." He shakes his head, embarrassed. You shrug and give him a kiss anyway. You are sure your breath doesn’t smell good either, but that doesn’t stop you. "Such a stubborn lady."

“I just don’t care, and for your information, it doesn’t smell bad.” You keep kissing him.

"If you continue, doll, we might end up doing something else." 

“Hmm.” You act like you don’t know what that means.

“Hmm?”

“Yeah, hmm.”

"What can it mean?"

“No idea.” You don’t move away, you don’t kiss him. You just look at him.

"Okay then." He gives you an innocent look. "Time for me to go to the bathroom."

You kiss his cheek, giving him space to get up. He pouts a bit disappointed but doesn't say anything.

“What?”

"Nothing. So where do I find a toothbrush?" He finally gets up.

“I will show you.” You follow him to the bathroom.

"Also, do you have any allergies?”

His question catches you off guard. “Not that I know off. Why?”

"Gonna cook something for you."

“You really want that ring, don’t you?” You joke with a big smile on your face.

His laugh fills the bathroom. "You want to give me a ring?"

“How else am I gonna make sure others know you are taken?” 

"You don't need a ring for that. At all."

“Yeah, you are right. I was just joking.” 

He smiles. "Wait for me in the bed. Whatever happens, you stay there, okay?"

“Okay.” You raise your hands in defeat.

"Good girl, go now." He pats your ass before letting you go.

You can’t help but smile on your way back to the bed. If this is how being married to Bucky is gonna be, you are down for it.

*

"Come on, another bite. Please."

“Fine.” You take another bite. It’s delicious but you are full. So full. The breakfast he made was simply amazing. You might really need to find a ring to put on him, because he’s definitely husband material.

"Good girl, and drink more water."

“I’m so full,” you say after taking a sip. “The food was just amazing.”

"You're full, huh?" He snorts.

“I am.” You give him a look, not understanding what he means.

"I think you can take more."

“No more food, please.”

"Oh, sweetheart." Bucky gives you a smirk. "That is not what I meant."

“Oh!” You finally get it and start to giggle wile takes a bite of pancakes from your plate.

"Oh, indeed."

“You wanna?”

"Do you?" He stares back.

“You are so annoying.” 

"Annoying enough to get you to kiss me?"

You give him a short kiss. “Thanks for the breakfast.”

"I didn't have mine, though."

“You can eat this.” You offer your leftovers. You’re sure that they’re more than enough to make him feel full, too.

"But I don't want that.” He whines. "I want you."

“You can have me.”

"Want you on my face."

“Again?” You sound surprised. “I thought you would want something that you would enjoy as well.”

"Excuse you? I enjoy that." His tone shows that he’s totally offended.

“Oh, you do?”

Bucky laughs so loud. "I cannot believe it wasn't clear."

“I mean… I’m not used to that. Maybe that’s why.”

"The question is if you’d like to do that again."

“Oh, yeah.” You nod eagerly. “I would love that.”

"Then…" He places the food carefully on the table next to the bed.

You bite your lip while getting up and taking your underwear off. He watches you excited as he gets on his back completely, waiting. This time you know what to do. So you get back to the bed and straddle his face.

"Use me however you want, okay? Don't stop."

“Tap on my thighs if you want me to stop, okay?” He nods and you lower yourself completely. He doesn’t even wait for a few seconds. “Jesus, Bucky.” You breath out. It’s hard not to make a sound when he works that enthusiastically. He doesn't say anything in return, too focused on spreading your lips with his tongue. You moan loudly and start to ride his face, and you realize shortly he loves it as his hands help you quicken your pace just the way you like it.

“Oh, god…” You try to get support from the headboard. “This feels so good.”

He groans against you, so hard, thrusting his hips in the air because you taste amazing.

You start to move a little faster as you feel like you are getting closer to your release. His nose starts to bump up against your clit from time to time and that adds an another level of pleasure.

"Keep going," he says breathlessly before taking you by surprise and slapping your ass twice.

“Fuuck. I’m- I’m so close.”

"Hmm." He slaps your right ass cheek one more time as his tongue moves to your clit. The sounds you are making don’t sound human anymore. You are aware of it, but it’s so hard to care when you start to come so hard on his tongue. He doesn't let go or stop licking you until he feels you are done, then he gently helps you move.

"Hi."

“Ahh.” You struggle to find your voice. “Hi.”

He giggles while cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. "Feel good?"

“God, I’m keeping you. That’s it. That was my last drop.”

Bucky moans excited. "Are you proposing to me, love?"

“Well, not like this, and I gotta buy a ring first,” you jokingly answer.

"Hmm." He brings you close to his face so he can kiss you. "Maybe I will accept."

“Maybe? What can I do to guarantee a yes?”

Bucky smiles. "Who knows?"

“Maybe I should return the favor.”

"No need for that."

“Wouldn’t that help though? I wanna increase my chances.” You continue with that same joking tone.

"A little. What is your plan?"

“Give you head and then propose I guess.”

He suddenly blushes. “I didn’t expect you to say it so openly but love to hear what you think."

“Then I will keep speaking like this.” You move your face to give him a kiss on the lips. “So… You want it or not?”

Bucky nods and dutifully stays on his back, opening his legs more. You carefully undress him and settle between his legs. He’s already half hard and he looks so pretty laying like that, waiting for your next move. You start slowly, just moving your hands up and down, letting him enjoy it.

You lean down and start leaving kisses to him all over his skin. "Ahh." You move onto his thighs, placing your hand  on his cock without moving it.

"Gonna torture me?"

“Is this your definition of torture?”

"I'm a man."

“And I am a woman who enjoys what she is doing.” You don’t give him a chance to respond. You run the tip of your tongue from the bottom to the top of his cock.

"Oh, God." He closes his eyes for a couple of minutes.

“Open your eyes if you want me to continue.”

"Sorry..." he groans, opening them.

“Look at me the whole time, okay? Watch what I am doing to you. Think about this moment whenever you feel like giving up.” Then you finally take him inside your mouth.

"Oh, Jesus." His hands immediately get into your hair. "N-no warning?" You shake your head while your mouth is full of him. "I don't think I could forget this even if I wanted to."

You hum around his cock before you start to properly bob your head. You try to look at him, memorizing his reactions and see what he likes the most.

"Use your tongue more around the head, please."

You do what he asks, twirling your tongue around the head and watching him fall apart.

"Baby," he hisses. "Just like that."

You wrap your hand around the base after taking your mouth off it. Your fingers work on him while you take one of his balls inside your mouth, gently sucking to see if he likes it or not. He's so close as he bites his bottom lip. 

"You're a dirty little girl.” You hum in response, your mouth being too full to be able to answer him. "Wanna paint your face." It feels like the words are just spilling from his mouth.

You finally let go of his ball.

“My face, huh?” You ask before taking him back in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head once again.

"You're a dirty girl, and I have to a make you dirtier. Would you like that?"

You shake your head in agreement, then you start moving your mouth and hand at the same time, going up and down until he quickly pulls out when he feels he's coming. And just like that, your face and hair are getting covered. You close your eyes and for some reason stick your tongue out.

"God, baby. You drive me insane." He finishes coming and stares at the way you lick some of his come. You can only open one of your eyes as his come is dripping on the other one. Then you wipe it off from your eyelid and lick it clean. "And you will make me get hard again."

“We know that doesn’t take much.” You giggle, remembering last night.

"You're so pretty like this. I can't..." He smiles watching you clean yourself more.

“I am not sure about that.” You smile. “I should go and clean myself properly.”

"Should we take a bath?" He excitedly asks

“Oh, that sounds great.”

Bucky helps her get up. "Let's go."

*

"Look at this," he leans in to kiss your forehead, taking the cup from you. "Thank you."

“After last night and this morning, the coffee was needed. At least for me.”

"I am human too, you know? I need coffee."

“You are a super human.” You smile before taking a sip.

"I hope my tongue is a super tongue, too." He winks and takes a few sips from his coffee. "So good. Now, I have something and I forgot to give it to you since we were... busy."

“Oh?”

Bucky nods and brings his hand into his left pocket. "Like I promised." Then he takes out a small wrapped up package.

“What is this?” You take it and quickly open it without destroying the wrapping. “Oh my god, Bucky! You got me new stockings!”

“Wanna try them on?"

“Right now?” You are surprised by his request.

"Yep. If you want, of course."

“You just want me to get undressed in front of you again.” You joke while standing up. You don’t mind trying them at all.

"Don't act as if you don't."

“See you get undressed or get undressed myself?” You take the stockings out of the package while talking.

"Both.” He watches you as you put them on, fascinated. “How do they feel?"

“They feel really nice.” You move your leg a little, inspecting the stockings. “High quality. Where did you even find this?”

"Pulled some strings. Being a soldier has its perks, you know? Being friends with Captain America, too." 

“You did not!”

"What?" He laughs at your tone.

“You used your Captain America advantage to get me stockings?”

"Yep."

“Oh my god!” You have a huge smile on your face when you are walking toward him. And without a word, you sit on his lap, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you. These are much better than the ones you ripped off.” You give him a kiss on his right cheek. “So you get a kiss.”

"So generous." He kisses you properly.

“Such a gentleman.” You pause for a few seconds before adding. “With dirty tendencies.”

"Well, I got a dirty girlfriend."

“Please, I’m pretty innocent.” You move away from his lap. “We didn’t even meet up in my apartment because that would be inappropriate.” You finally snort. “At least that’s what my friends think.”

"And you call them friends?"

“Gotta keep my reputation intact.” You shrug. That’s the way it is. “Oh, speaking of friends! I gotta ask you something otherwise Cassie will kill me.”

"What?"

“She wanted me to ask about Steve. Apparently, she hasn’t heard from him.”

"Oh…" It's all that Bucky says.

“Oh?”

"I didn't know."

“She wants to know if he ever mentions her.”

He doesn't know how to answer for a couple of seconds. Steve has never been into romance. "He's very focused on the future plans against Hydra."

“Well, that’s not surprising. If he thought about her, he would find a way to contact her, I guess.”

"He doesn't think about pretty much anyone, I am sorry."

You shrug. “I hope she doesn’t shoot the messenger.”

"I am sorry. Steve is very... particular. About life and work. He wanted to be in the army for so long, he doesn't see anything else."

“That’s… sad.” You reach for the coffee mug. “What about you?”

"Obviously not interested in sex or romantic life." He jokes once again, hoping that it would change the mood.

“I meant about life and work,  but we can talk about that too,” you say with a smile.

"I don't like fighting, you know? It's never ending." Even his voice sounds tired as he talks about it.

“I sensed that you don’t enjoy fighting, but I think you are pretty good at it. At least it seems that way, and I feel like you aren’t focused on the fight, but mostly on what can come after when this is all done.”

Bucky sighs, approving what you said with a nod. There is something scary and confusing about what the future. If he survives. What will change? After so much death and loss, what will happen?

"I hate this so much."

You have this urge to hug him and tell him it’s gonna be fine. Yet you don’t know if that’s the truth and you don’t wanna lie. “I hate it, too. It’s like our lives are completely revolving around the war.“

"Yes, but let's not think about it, baby." He kisses your forehead.

“It’s easier not to think about it when you are around.”

"You help me with that, too."

“Oh, do I?” You smile. “What do you think about instead of war when you are with me?”

"I think only about you."

“Another thing we have in common.”

Bucky smiles. "You're so smooth."

“Smooth? I meant I am thinking about myself, too.” You stick your tongue out a bit cheekily.

"Nice try." He snorts, amused by your comment. "I totally understand why you'd think about yourself, though."

“Why would I think about myself?” You wanna know what he’s thinking.

"You're funny, amazing, beautiful, smart." He kisses your cheeks. "You got everything."

“And what about you?”

"What about me?" He asks confused.

“What do you have?”

"Strings to buy you more stockings."

“Oh!” You both start to laugh. “That’s not all, though.”

"Right, I also got Captain America as my friend."

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Bucky sighs. "I don't have much to offer unfortunately. I have 4 siblings."

“Jesus, do you really not know?”

"If you mean sexually..."

“Not only that. Stop underestimating yourself, you have a lot to offer. Look at me.” He lifts his head as you asked. “I love spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about, it’s always interesting. You are smart, funny, thoughtful and so so pretty.”

Bucky melts under your eyes. "No one called me pretty before."

“You are so pretty, you have no idea. These eyes…” You touch the corner of his eyelid. “These lines,” You caress the smile lines. “These lips…”

He blushes instantly feeling your touch and brings your hand closer to his lips in order to kiss it. "You're so sweet."

*

After spending a little bit more time in your apartment, you and Bucky decide to go for a walk. He’s here for a limited amount of time and he should make the most of it. Maybe you can stop by a book or a record store together, eat something he craves and enjoy this sunny day to the fullest. You don't even realize how close you are until you feel his hand touching yours, subtly trying to hold it.

You feel butterflies in your stomach. You did a lot of stuff together so far, but you haven’t held hands yet. Not publicly. Not like this. You open your hand, just showing you want him to hold it, and he does proudly. 

"Do you want some ice cream, sweetheart?"

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. It’s so hard to fight the urge to smile. This might be the best day of your life. The sun is shining, Bucky is by your side, holding your hand. You don’t think life gets better than this. 

“I would love that.” He smiles before leaning in to kiss your head. Suddenly, you feel the urge to say what you have been thinking. He should know.

“You know that I will wait for you if you want, right?” You can’t help it. All the marriage and proposal jokes aside, you really want him in your life.

Bucky stops walking suddenly. "Doll..." He sighs, still holding your hand. "I don't want to make you go through this."

“You think I won’t go through it if we act like this means nothing, but you are wrong.” 

"I did not say that! This is not nothing, but I can't be engaged to you and leave you behind like this."

“Who said anything about being engaged?”

"We talked about getting married a lot. So I thought..."

“I didn’t say I don’t want to. I just meant that we don’t have to get engaged if that’s your concern.” 

"I don't know. Either way I can't let you go through that." He shakes his head. The last thing he wants is for her to wait for him not knowing if he will survive. "Because if I die..." 

“If you die… I would be devastated regardless. It doesn’t matter even if we decide not to see each other anymore.”

He doesn't say anything else, instead, he pulls you to him in the tightest hug you've ever felt.

"I don't want to lose you."

“Believe me, I don’t wanna lose you, either.” You wrap your hands around his body, burying your face into his chest. “My kidnapping offer still stands.”

You hear him snort. "You're just making up excuses to have me tied up."

“Do I need to?”

"No." He breaks the hug and reaches out for your hand again. "My future wife doesn't need excuses. You're stuck with me."

“And you are stuck with me.”

[ybklix]

𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧

★ pairing: ceo!leeminho x fem!reader part four

part one / part two / part three

✦summary: Minho gives you a place in an agency you've always dreamed of, which will boost your professional and artistic career, but he can't bear to be away from you when your schedule changes drastically, which drives him crazy as he sees you provoking him with your slightly obnoxious partner from your new internship, and your persistent best friend.

✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / fluff / established relationship / fingering / oral sex / creampie / choking

word count: 14.4k

a/n: idk why so many w.c. i’m sorry, i literally had a writer’s block lol and procrastinated all week

It was not part of your plans to have a boyfriend, or to fall in love, much less with a mature man in his thirties. Reality hit you when you were having a nice date night on the beach, when Minho had to leave for an important call. You looked around, you hadn't realized the drastic change in your life, when if just two weeks ago you were crying in your room full of shame for even considering asking your parents for money and… suddenly you had it all. You bit your lower lip and looked at Minho from a distance, age was the least important thing about him, he was wonderful, he gave you fantastic sex and spoiled you every five minutes; in the moments so quiet for both of you when he is on his phone he suddenly speaks and tells you he saw a very nice dress and bought it for you, just like that, he would blurt it out as something so normal and never failed to surprise you when a small gift from him to you, turns out to be something incredibly expensive.

You examined him, his broad back and the attractive way he was running his hand behind his head, you thought it was a serious call because of his tense position, still you kept thinking how cute he looked.

Minho came over and sat back down, whispering a small “I'm sorry.” You asked him if everything was okay to which he nodded with a tender little smile. After minutes he stopped eating and gave you a long look.

“You have to enjoy your last few days working with me, I'm going to miss you being around” he said, his comment puzzled you too much that he could read it on your face immediately to which he continued, “Because starting Monday you'll be training at that acting agency.”

You opened your eyes a little stupefied, Minho had told you that he would support you in your professional career and that he would do everything possible to see you succeed to which you silenced him by whispering a yes and kissing him slowly, since you had thanked him and started to say that it wasn't necessary to which he immediately interrupted you arguing that he would do it anyways, but he hadn't given you in detail his plan.

“What, you hadn't told me…?”

“Really?” he spoke in a high pitched tone paying it no mind as he looked at the food, “I thought I told you that night.”

You shook your head softly. The news shocked you, yet you relaxed your expression, remembering that in such a short time Minho had given you so much and yes… in a way your relationship was a sugar daddy dynamic, but he made it clear to you that you should never feel ashamed to receive money from him because his intentions were merely focused on you and things that were going to benefit you, he didn't expect to receive anything bigger in return than a simple thank you or a kiss every time he came with something new for you, but it's clear that… you love intimacy with him so much that thanking him in that way wasn't bad for both of you.

“It's at the agency of…” you spoke more animatedly, lost in his bright eyes unable to finish the sentence, but he nodded softly.

“You know it is, the best in the country where all those successful and talented actors come out of nowhere” he replied.

You denied gently not being able to understand him, “But it's very hard to get in and…” you wanted to keep talking, but you realized that arguing wouldn't do any good, it was already done for Minho, “Thank you” you told him with a tender smile, he saw you the same way.

“It's nothing” he added proudly.

“Now I feel bad because I didn't know what to get you so I just brought you a cake” you said softly as you waved your hand animatedly towards the waitress who was sitting retired from you in case you were offered something else, you gestured to her indicating to bring the cake and candles for Minho.

He laughed softly and his eyes lit up as he saw the cake in front of him.

“You shouldn't have…”

“It's not a birthday without cake and candles,” you interrupted him.

His smile widened and he leaned in a little to tell you, “Come here, I want you to blow out the candles with me” you saw him pat his thigh.

You blushed a little and agreed to sit on his lap, turning your back to him, you were both on the terrace of his beach house, with a view of the sea so the wind moved your hair slightly, causing Minho to gently push it aside so as not to obstruct his view.

“I'll stay here but you have to be the one to blow out the candles” you added, as you lit the candles, hoping the wind wouldn't blow them out.

Minho gently caressed your back uncovered by your blouse and then let his hands fall on your bare thighs, thinking that he needed no other wish but to be with you, somewhat corny for him, but he couldn't ask for anything better than to hold you in his arms and kiss your lips… he thought humorously that maybe deep down, he wished he was less jealous when it comes to you, his hairs bristling and his blood feeling heavy every time he thought of you and the idea of another man around. Minho was engrossed in how tender you looked with your eyes shining at the sight of the cake and keeping the unquenched candles intact, which he awkwardly let out a light puff blowing them out and not taking his eyes off you. You felt his triggered gaze on you and found him with a relaxed and tender expression, it was hard for you to accept that a few weeks ago you were a stranger and he looked at you in a particular way with contempt and now it was the opposite, when you were not lost in desire and lust, he looked at you so softly and delicately.

You averted your gaze nervously and turned your body again, for a second, terrified of liking him more if that was even possible.

“Mmm, I also brought you something else, it's very small it's just that I seriously didn't know what to give you” you commented to him in a sharp tone.

And it wasn't a lie, you had no idea what to give to a man who had everything materially speaking and if he didn't have it he could buy it for him without a problem… besides you weren't the type of girl to write a letter and to say cheesy things to his face when you had no idea what to buy him… besides you tried to be realistic, the man was turning thirty, not eighteen.

“I told you it was okay by me this way without giving me something…”

You ignored Minho's words, leaning into your bag abruptly, brushing a little against his still-quiet bulge, still making him moan softly. And you took from there a small, elongated box, biting your lip unsure that it was such an insignificant object and didn't compare to the millions of won he spent daily on you with clothes or something else expensive. You settled your body on his lap, laying it sideways in front of him, your back now turned to the beautiful beach scenery. You handed it with uncertainty to Minho, who took it with joy, not caring what it was about, it was a small detail coming from you and that was enough for him, since Minho recognized that he was totally the provider of the relationship and he could not agree more with that; it was enough for him to see you happy, without worries, arranged for him wearing diamonds and luxurious clothes, raising glances and sighs from other rich women of his social circle who did not know of your existence.

Minho wrapped his arms around your body and opened it in front of you and, before he could even analyze what was inside, you hurried to say:

“It's small and silly I know, but you can use it… when you're in important meetings, plus it has your initials on it, it's totally yours.”

Minho let out a small chuckle at your reaction and was quick to see that it was a sleek black and gold pen with his initials LMH engraved small on the top of the object. Minho smiled broadly.

“This is what I'll sign our wedding papers with?” he commented amused looking at you.

You blinked in confusion at his sudden comment, “What?” you said.

Minho let out a small laugh again now slightly nervous and averted his gaze to the small gift, closing the box and leaving it on the table to place his hands on your thighs.

“Thank you” he murmured sweetly, moving closer to your lips to trap them in a tender kiss that made your ears burn.

“I should have given you something else…” you stammered disappointedly pouting slightly.

“You can always give me something else…” he whispered slowly squeezing your thighs and bringing his right hand up to your panties.

He had been specific with you, not wearing anything under your skirt other than your underwear, he picked you out the cute outfit that matched his own, acting like a complete sweetheart. You pressed your lips together tightly feeling your body temperature rise knowing that Minho wanted to touch you.

“You haven't shown me how grateful you are to get into the agency, wasn't it your dream?” he spoke again seductively close to your ear.

You nodded and closed your legs a little in reflex as you felt his fingertips brush your folds and squeeze your clitoris, Minho's hand was lost between your legs, covering only a small part of it by your tiny skirt.

“Show me how grateful you are to me…”

Minho continued to tease you, touching you through the thin fabric of your underwear, this time making you moan as your pussy was beginning to throb and grow wet at his fine touch.

“Minho, no please… she’s watching us” you tried to say as calmly as possible, a little scared as you realized you had the waitress in front of you a few meters away.

Minho let out a haughty laugh and looked vaguely in the direction of his employee.

“I don't think she's watching us.”

“Yes, Minho, s-stop” you spoke haltingly as you felt his delicious circular motions on your sensitive spot.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me to stop and I'll stop” he demanded authoritatively.

But you couldn't do that, his gentle rubbing became a little rougher moving and stimulating your labia as you felt his huge erection grow and touch your ass.

“Well to me you seem to be enjoying it” he said again even more smugly, “Then turn around princess, so you can turn your back on her if you care so much” he whispered.

You did it instantly, you were so excited and embarrassed that you couldn't see the poor waitress, so you just decided to fall into Minho's lap turning your back to the girl, looking out to sea. Now your concern would be anyone who decided to walk on the beach at night, but it was almost impossible, the nights were somewhat cold and strangely the place was perfectly empty. Minho was surprised by your sudden movement, pulling his hands away in confusion and let out a slight moan as he felt you sit on his erect cock drowning in his pants, instantly heeding him so he could continue playing with your pussy.

“Look at you, paying attention to me so I can touch your needy pussy” he growled haughtily.

You were so turned on by his touch and cocky tone, you couldn't even respond to him, other than just rolling your eyes annoyed that he was right and that you needed him now. You spread your legs a little wider giving him better access to your wet entrance to which Minho bit his lip, and stimulated your center through the fabric of your panties, Minho's breathing became ragged, he was becoming insane from not having your pussy in his mouth, he touched every inch of your folds, stretching your panties to feel the pressure on your wet pussy, making you moan, he enjoyed every moment of his fingers sliding on your labia and your sobs full of pleasure, finally he stuck two of his fingers smoothly into your tight hole making you whimper. Fuck, you needed him so badly, you were so aroused that staying still on his lap was not enough, you would want to take his fingers yourself, as you sensed the slow play in which Minho was touching you. Minho couldn't stand the thought of his cock suffocating in his pants but it made him hornier to watch your body squirm trying to regain your posture, he continued to finger you, paying attention to your clitoris with his thumb, completely prioritizing your pleasure as he energetically watched with his eyebrows slightly raised every little contraction stimulating his cock.

“Kiss me” he requested needily as he saw your parted lips emitting sounds of pleasure.

You joined your lips, in a dirty kiss feeling the inside of each other's mouths, making you more aroused, Minho licked your lips as he parted from you and looked at you completely blinded in lust, finally intensifying his skillful movements with his hand, making you startle and whimper more, fucking you deeply with his fingers so well that you ended up cumming in them. Minho grinned mischievously and abruptly pulled his digits out of you, taking them into your mouth covered in your fluid.

“Sweet cake frosting” he whispered, making you laugh as you took his hand with both of yours and sucked his fingers hard erotically looking into his eyes, making his cock throb harder as his imagination flew.

“Fuck, princess, let's go inside now” he gasped.

[...]

You skipped that day of school, however upon returning to the city your head could only think of your best friend that you hadn't had genuine contact with in long days, you were a bit sad that you decided you needed advice from another friend who may have gone through the same thing, falling in love with a rich older man after a chance encounter.

That day you returned to the city during the morning and Minho went straight to his office to work, barely paying attention to you; everyone at work speculated that you had something going on with Minho, you being always the last one to leave —since you waited for Minho and uselessly hoped no one would see you enter his office so often— and you always coincidentally came in together, but you didn't care, you were going to stop coming in on Monday and you had concluded your work by seeing Minho's work schedule and confirming that he was very busy… so you were bored in your chair, your very senior colleagues clearly judged you and did not approach to talk to you so much, so, not knowing what to do, you decided to try to talk to Felix in order to rescue your friendship a little bit; at the same time you texted Hari so you could see each other to talk as soon as possible.

Felix didn't respond to you all day, hurting you a bit as it was obvious he was ignoring you since he kept updating his social media. And Hari seemed to like talking on the phone today, to which you told her you wanted to see her in person so she agreed to do so the next day.

That afternoon when everyone left, you headed to Minho's office, ready to go in, but you stopped your hand on the doorknob when you heard him yelling in what you assumed was a phone call, you didn't want to interrupt and stood unsure at the door whether to go in or not…. to which you were determined to do so once you stopped hearing his voice indicating that he had hung up the call, but Minho stepped forward opening the door with force and coming out of his office with his suit jacket in his hand and advanced quickly in search of you, to which you hurried to follow him, catching his attention by the noise of your heels, smiling and relaxing his countenance at the mere sight of you.

“There you are” he said happily.

You took his hands and noticed his tired and tense face even though he was smiling.

“Shall we go?” you whispered to him tilting your head to which he nodded.

Once inside the car in the back of it, Minho squeezed your hand and turned to look at you to say as he let out a sigh, “Don't you want to stay at my place?”

“Only because you look tired and stressed, you need to rest” you replied raising the corners of your lips in a small smile.

“If you'll stay because I'm tired, then I'm tired every day, will you come take care of me?”

Your smile got bigger and you moved closer to him to caress his chest, his cute big round eyes suddenly looked droopy so you couldn't stand to see him like that.

“You really look stressed” you reiterated now worried.

“Yeah, I'm sorry it's just…” he grimaced, “it's the last few months and I'm working hard to close the year well with the company and start a new one…” you nodded listening to him carefully and thinking he had nothing to apologize for, “But luckily I have the best stress remover…” he murmured tilting his head and giving you kisses on your neck while his free hand pressed your thigh, “Do you want to fuck tonight?” he asked now in a low voice close to your ear, bristling your skin.

His voice and touch made you weak in seconds but… you thought it would be a very good way to help your boyfriend, but there were little things like that you had thought about all night and… you also wanted a quiet and sweet relationship where it's not necessary to fuck every day, even though you would do it with Minho every day at any time if you wanted to, still, you didn't want to look like or become addicted.

You shook your head softly.

“Let's go get you to sleep” you added firmly, looking him in the eyes and holding back all your dirty thoughts and the huge desire you will always have for Minho.

“Okay” he sighed slightly exasperated, “But let's go to dinner first, are you hungry?” he mentioned in a more relaxed and sharp tone, giving you a quick kiss on the lips.

Minho didn't wait for your answer and let the driver know the change of direction for both of you to go to dinner. You finally had dinner, walked around a bit and arrived at Minho's house, who upon stepping into his foyer, threw his coat and removed his tie in despair, whimpering exhausted and also threw the fabric of it away. You watched the scene, finding it incredibly attractive and were surprised by his grip on your waist.

“You want to shower in the master bathroom and I'll do it in the other one?” Minho spoke.

He had understood perfectly that you didn't want to have sex so he saved himself from seducing you and offering to take a shower together, besides he did feel tired, in any case that you change your mind, for him it would be wonderful if you took control this time and you were the one who fuck him, jumping on his cock.

But you thought for a few seconds, admiring the closeness of his face to yours, you hadn't kissed properly since the morning before you got out of the car and pretended to get to work first, you and then him, at different times. And you spent a while ago having dinner and talking all the time, without him even taking the time to get dangerously and romantically close to your face, Minho wanted to know absolutely everything about his girlfriend, so he had fun asking question after question until he sweetly knew the silliest detail, as was the age when you taught yourself to ride a bike, or more important things, like your career choice, your parents's opinion, your story and more deep conversation.

“Mmm, it's not okay for me, I can use the other bathroom” you replied.

“No, no” he regretted, “Do it in the main one in my room, don't worry, there's everything for you in my closet” he sentenced, giving you a little kiss on your forehead, he pulled away and hurried to shed his clothes in search of a quick relief.

You swayed on your own place, feeling a little strange to see his silhouette disappearing far away to another room you didn't know at all, so far you knew his house very well but you were still missing certain little places. You hurried to take a bath, totally unconcerned that Minho would see you in your pajamas and without makeup, in such a short time you had already built that trust, it was inevitable, you were spending more and more time together but, sadly everything was going to change in a few days since Minho gave you details that it would be after your university schedule and you recognized that there was no specific departure time because sometimes it was normal to stay late to practice…. still as you were new, the best case scenario is that your schedule would end at the same time Minho was supposed to leave his office…. but, on busy days like these for Minho, you could at least see him while you were being driven to the company, while he was walking outside his office or when you had to compulsorily accompany him to his meetings, but for now no more Minho which frustrated you, you just started to be his girlfriend and your time was starting to be delimited, you couldn't help it, you wanted to be cloying and be with him all the time, it felt so good to be by his side.

It made you tender to realize that Minho had taken it very seriously to make you feel at home, he had clothes for you, space in his big closet exclusively for you and little things like shampoo, lotion, brush for your hair, dryer, you couldn't process at what point it occurred to him to compulsively buy everything, just from one day to the next everything was there, like your sudden feelings for each other. You stood watching the outside through his incredibly long bedroom window, giving you the view of the large yard and area surrounded by tall trees, you sighed at the thought that your boyfriend was very different from you but still you were both in that sweet initiation stage where everything seems optimistic.

You felt the sound of the door and turned around the second, finding Minho in his comfy cotton pajamas wearing only his pants, his chest and abdomen bare as he shook his hair with one hand.

“I can finally go to bed” he sighed as he looked at you.

You honestly weren't sleepy yet, but there was nothing better than trying to fall asleep cuddled up to him. You approached Minho, who sat on his bed ready to lay down, but didn't do so until you sat the bed as well, he pulled the big sheets aside to cover himself and you, who happily looked for a place close to his body where you would feel comfortable once you lay down. Minho loudly indicated to turn off the lights to his speaker, surprising you a bit since on tired days when you don't want to get up to turn off the light, something like that was a great help and, as if he had read your mind he said to you:

"Do you feel good in your apartment? Don't you want to move?"

The question caught you by surprise, wishing you could look him straight in the eyes but you were so comfortable curled up on his bare chest feeling his soft breathing and your skin touching with your cheek.

“I'm fine, it's a place I know too well to move” you replied.

Minho started playing with your hair, stroking it.

“Well at least let me do something for you… how about tomorrow we go shopping so you have new clothes to wear to the agency?”

“I'm good” you smiled at him.

You didn't know if truly a way for him to show affection was the gifts or if he just gave them to you because of the way he met you and directly related your relationship based on that. You were still very grateful, but sometimes you felt so guilty even though Minho was absurdly rich, he ran a snack company all over the country and 10 other countries.

"I want you to look radiant and... I hear myself that the other young people there are a bit… you know” you heard him say.

You knew exactly what he meant, they were a bunch of spoiled rich adults who were taught a little discipline going in there, all you knew was that they were sorted by age and being a major company opened up so many casting opportunities for you. You were so nervous that you could only agree with Minho.

"Okay… but you're really busy on Thursday, I think Friday you're more available."

“Now you know my whole schedule?” he added in a sharp, mocking tone.

“Sure I do, I plan it” you replied, letting your hand rest on his chest.

He laughed lightly, letting his body relax completely and closing his eyes slowly, he was so calm with you that, before he fell into a deep sleep quickly, Minho whispered:

“Good night, y/n.”

[…]

The next morning was not the same, you missed a little bit your old routine of arriving with Felix, going to breakfast together and talking about anything around. You felt like you gained something but at the same time you lost something important, you finally felt loved romantically and you could give that love to him too… but you felt it wasn't fair to lose the affection Felix had for you. You knew you made a mistake by telling him you liked him too, you were so frustrated that you thought that's exactly why you never liked getting too involved.

Felix answered your message late, you didn't want to insist anymore so you looked for him where you knew exactly where his class was, an act he would do, go find you. There were still a few minutes to go and there was still no one inside so you waited nervously at the entrance outside the auditorium until you saw his long blond hair pass through the hallway, he saw you and his countenance became more serious, you smiled at him, happy to see him while waving your hand, but your smile faded when you saw his expression. And he walked up to you, looking as handsome and smelling as good as ever.

“Hi” you said shyly trying to catch his eye.

Felix was looking down at the floor and seemed a bit annoyed.

“Hi” he replied curtly.

He finally looked into your eyes, you felt a relief to see them. You hadn't seen his big eyes in days, a new record for you guys, because even when he went on vacation, you did video calls all the time. That's when you realized that… maybe you had screwed up too much, you should never have treated him like a boyfriend, now the poor guy was paying the consequences. It was always all about him and suddenly he felt displaced. After you always told him you weren't ready for a relationship, suddenly you had one with a rich older man, which was hard for him to believe. Felix was really questioning… could a relationship work between a twenty-one year old, still a student, and a man whose life is planned out… he wanted to think that maybe things wouldn't work out so well, and he hated himself to think that he knew he would be there for you anyway if that doesn't manage to work out and disappoints you, he would just be there.

“How are you?” you spoke again not knowing what to say properly.

“Fine” he said again curtly.

You couldn't hold it in any longer and in a short sigh blurted out, “Felix, can we talk?”

Now you would be the one to talk, or something like that.

“I have a class.”

“Can we do it later?” you asked him almost pleadingly.

He watched you for a few long seconds, admiring every part of you that he might never be able to touch again; he nodded.

Then you walked to the other side of the campus to take your class, but you were so distracted, when you finished, you almost ran once more across to the other end to see Felix, but the place was completely empty, disappointing you, you were catching your breath and ready to leave, until you looked at him at the end of the hallway, with a smirk; he thought with satisfaction that the least you could do for him was to run to find him.

“Want some water?” he spoke more relaxed, back to being his usual Felix self.

You shook your head and quickly regained your posture.

“Where do you want to talk?” you asked him.

Minutes later, you both walked to a coffee shop, where once sitting across from each other you looked at him and realized you hadn't really planned what to say… you just wanted everything to be like before, not treating him like a boyfriend or kissing him, but you wanted to talk to him again about some terrible movies, go for lunch, have your movie nights… you felt like you were about to end a non-existent love relationship in a coffee shop. But what a cliché, you thought.

“Felix… just… I want you back.”

“You broke up with Minho?” replied Felix trying to hide his mild enthusiasm as he gazed nonchalantly into his coffee.

You knew coffee made Felix anxious; but you didn't suppress him this time like you always usually do. Felix thought this encounter was frantic enough, so adding it more with the feeling the coffee gave him, could make him immune, to a broken heart.

“No” you whispered.

Felix pursed his full lips in disappointment and continued to watch his hands intertwined in the hot cup.

“I want us to stay friends and” you rolled your eyes, just like Minho, you hated to apologize when you knew it was sincere and you had to admit your mistake, after all you were both born under the same zodiac sign, “sorry, really. I know I said something important to you when we were, you know, in a vulnerable moment."

Your gaze was submissive, begging for forgiveness. Felix smiled sideways in disbelief.

“Important to me? You mean it was nothing to you” he finely raised his gaze to you, seeing his dark eyes from a look of him you didn't know, such was hatred, “You know… you never answered my question, you just said crap like you couldn't leave him, like you were tied to him” he mumbled.

You frowned, stammering confused as to what he meant.

“That if you love him” Felix spoke again.

You took a sigh. That was the question he was referring to, and your answer was simple and honest, even if it hurt him to hear it.

“Yes.”

Felix pressed his lips together again and lowered his gaze again to his drink… he could hear and notice the sincerity with which you said it, that he had nothing more to say. It was silent for at least 2 long and tedious minutes, but you also didn't want to say anything and ruin it any more than it was. Felix pondered too much, he couldn't admit it and thought he could never do it, but he loved you the same way you loved Minho and you couldn't reciprocate to him, his mind was a continuous internal battle, still, he sighed, looked up and managed to say:

"Y/n… I need to think well, don't expect me to be well from one day to the next. But, I seriously don't want to be away from you."

You smiled gently at him and nodded, you were relieved that he looked a little calmer.

[…]

“You told him you loved Minho” Hari emphasized what you just told her, you nodded, “You broke the poor boy's heart.”

“Don't say that” you replied.

“And you do love him?” she spoke more seriously to which you looked her straight in the eyes and nodded again, “Wow, I didn't expect that from you between him and you.”

“That's why I'm here, isn't it the same for you with Chan?”

Hari was silent for a moment to which you panicked that you might have said something wrong.

“Chan and I… it's complicated, I guess I'm a realistic, do you really see me married to a man like Chan, or him to someone like me?”

You noticed the concern on your best friend's face. The afternoon had been busy for Minho just as you predicted and in the evening you told him you would be spending the night at your house as Hari was coming to visit, saying goodbye and kissing for the first time all day as he dropped you off at your house.

“Hari…” you cocked your head to the side and slid down on your couch to pull you closer.

“I'm afraid it's just… I don't know, it's really absurd, we were just supposed to be simple good fucks… but they involved feelings.”

Your heart stopped for a moment, she was starting to speak for both of you and for a second you woke up from your trance, maybe she was right. Still you spoke up.

“But, if Chan really loves you, you have nothing to worry about.”

She let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Let's be honest, Chan at any time may decide to seek stability in a woman, something I will never be able to give him. In what world do you know the wealthy CEO stays with some random girl out of his league” she looked down ruefully, looking like she finally wanted to get it off her chest. “I'm afraid that being with him would be in vain because it would hurt so much to leave him.”

She was right, instead of helping you she was bringing you back to reality… you had to talk to Minho before you fell in love more, maybe leaving him wouldn't hurt so much. You loved Minho but you weren't sure if he loved you… and everything you had… it was because of him, making you feel bad.

“You have to clear that up with him, you have to know if things are serious so you don't hurt yourself” you told her, “Don't you feel he loves you?” you asked her, curious for an answer since you were completely unaware of being in love.

“He is… very good to me but…” she sighed and let herself fall back against the back of the couch, “maybe my fantasy will end soon and he will have to marry a wealthy and pretty woman with an important last name, his time is running out, his family is putting more and more pressure on him.”

“Oh, Hari, don't say that… what does he say?”

She let out a laugh again, now more animated.

“That we should move to Japan and forget about the people.”

[…]

Friday afternoon, you needed to de-stress, you hated being in love because it was just a constant worry all night and all day you were thinking Minho, Minho, Minho, and not in a sweet way, but in the ideology that your friend had, you were still not even sure if you wanted to marry him but, being with him would be a waste of time if things weren't serious. You were afraid that maybe it would last for years and suddenly… he would have to make his life, procreate a first born to inherit everything and that's when you leave his life after your years dedicated to him… or his years dedicated to you? because he gave you everything

You were so pensive that you didn't even enjoy his sweet lips when he picked you up from your house and greeted you.

Suddenly Minho's secretary brought you out of your thoughts by calling your name.

“Mr. Lee is waiting for you in his office.”

You blushed and nodded in sign of understanding, getting up from your chair and walking towards Minho's office, you could feel the heavy stares of your co-workers watching your every step, they weren't starting to like you at all and even less when their highly attractive boss was showing some extra interest in you.

You entered his office, finding Minho sitting in his elongated couch, relaxed with his legs ajar and the cell phone in his hand, once he saw you, he left the device on the table in front of him and smiled at you, indicating you to come closer with his fingers. You held back a smile, pressing your lips together once you were close to him; he took your hand and guided you to sit on his lap.

“Today is the last day you can be a bad girl and have office sex with your boss” he whispered naughtily in your ear, bristling your skin all over.

“Why did you have to tell your secretary to come see you?” you asked him, playing a little.

“Because I wanted everyone to know that I spoke only to you out of the blue to my office” he replied proudly, starting to kiss your neck with his tight grip on your waist.

“Come on princess, you have to give it your all on your last day, what will you do?”

You looked into his eyes… his gaze was a combination of sweetness and desire, his tender round but sharp eyes full of desire, then you looked at his lips, his perfect thin heart shaped lips… you hadn't had sex with Minho in days and suddenly you realized you desperately needed it.

“I'm going to ride your cock” you said excitedly between your teeth.

You kissed Minho, as you began to rub yourself over his growing bulge, making him moan in between the hot wet kisses you were giving him, Minho groping you, totally willing you to take control and jump on his cock over and over again. You quickly understood that this time he was letting you take control so you lowered your kisses to his neck, increasing his heart rate and making him so hard with your closeness. You unbuttoned his shirt, you were so wet and your pussy was throbbing hard, you wanted to feel his skin as you fucked him so you ran your hand delicately across his bare abdomen biting your lip, moving your hand down to his prominent erection in his pants, Minho moaned at your touch, completely yielding, you wanted to make him feel so good, so you kissed him again to turn on more on each other as you kept squeezing and rubbing his bulge and, once you had to separate to catch your breath, you got down on your knees between his legs, desperately unbuckling his belt and with a little of his help to lift his hips he pull down his pants, exposing his prominent penis sheltered in his underwear, your breath shortened, you were out of breath and your heart was beating twice as fast, Minho was watching you expectantly from above and you raised your gaze to make eye contact as you directed your lips to his erection, tracing soft kisses on it gently, making him gasp and stir in his own place, you continued to tease him, massaging his rigid cock through the fabric until you saw how little droplets of his precum pierced little through the fabric of his underwear, that's when you got rid of it, sighing at the sight of his swollen cock with its notorious veins and its tip so needy and red, you couldn't wait to play with your favorite toy, so with bated breath, you slid his smooth precum liquid all over his length until finally taking his whole cock and starting to play with it and your mouth.

You loved the dynamic of sucking your boyfriend's cock, feeling his entire length by your tongue, gently holding on to his balls, and starting to stimulate it all in your mouth, you sucked his tip hard, making Minho whimper and immediately held your hair so it didn't interrupt the process and he started to thrust you little by little, you were not mentally prepared for your boyfriend's big cock all the way down your throat, but you felt it slowly by Minho's light thrusts and his grunts, taking you to the limit and making you gag immediately. Minho smirked smugly at the scene of you being a complete excited mess, giving your best to please him, you kept enjoying his cock, at a delicious pace for Minho who kept panting mercilessly, not giving a shit that his office is not noise proof. You took your boyfriend's length a couple more times all the way down your throat, watering your eyes completely; but your mouth was exhausted and your muscles tense, to which Minho very thoughtfully, almost on the verge of his orgasm, moaned:

“Come here.”

You withdrew his cock from your mouth, so grotesquely that there was even a loud 'pop' sound as you did so. You sat on one of his thighs, licking your lips and trying to groom yourself.

“Show me how wet you are for me, are you princess?”

You nodded again with a mischievous grin, so glad he decided to touch you. You did your best to lift your tight skirt and spread your legs, Minho noticing your difficulty, he was decided to check for himself by caressing your pussy and squeezing a fingertip of his finger in your entrance, making your sensitive pussy cry more from your boyfriend's touch.

“Fuck, princess, take my cock, ride it now, take it all for me like a good girl, you deserve it” he gasped, almost tasting your soft insides embrace his choking cock.

Your legs trembled, you were at the peak of your sexual arousal and your boyfriend's sizzling voice encouraged you more. You removed your panties quickly to have your access only for him. And slowly you sat on his cock, letting out a cry as you felt your entrance stretch and try to fit the big intruder inside of it. You were halfway down his length and were already starting to whimper, still you continued, thrusting all the way in until you felt the pressure of his testicles in your pussy. You whimpered and held yourself around Minho’s neck and began to gently move in circles, feeling him on your belly.

“Move, baby, c'mon do it” he groaned.

You gasped in pain and pleasure and began to move up and down and back and forth, riding him animatedly, still in pain and pleasure. Minho in desperation and lust, unbuttoned your silk shirt, stripped it off your body and removed your bra as well, to leave your exposed body naked and licked your tits hotly and passionately, while the other hand massaged and squeezed your nipple if it was not being stimulated by his mouth. You gasped more, becoming aroused and feeling your liquid sliding down his member. You rested your hands on his thick strong thighs, urging you to jump, moving your hips feeling your boyfriend's masculinity throbbing in your loins, as he naughtily looked into your eyes with his big round brown eyes in such an innocent way while you two performed such a grotesque act, Minho licked your breasts delicately, gently biting your nipple, but stopped caressing you once you accelerated your movements, faster and deeper, you were about to cum on his hard cock, trembling you tried to lean on Minho's pecs and he in seconds took advantage to start penetrating you hard, lunging you to the fast movement of his hips, your ass pounding all way down to his balls, making your body jump while you started to whimper, you had given everything to fuck him subtly without his cock upsetting you, but suddenly there he was wildly fucking you, raising you to orgasm after a loud moan and spilling on him all your nice and shiny discharge of fluids. Minho continued to thrust you little by little, stirring his cock from deep inside you, still making you whimper for your sensitive insides, until he cum inside you, joining both cum.

Minho stopped moving and allowed you to catch your breath still sitting on his cock, but he, as he parted his body a little to witness the mess you both had made, he became hard inside of you again, you moaned as you felt it. Minho couldn't help himself, it felt so good to be in your tight pussy, the image of your delicate mons pubis with his cock buried in your tight hole and your labia sensitive and open at having him all the way inside.

“I'm going to fuck you now myself, kitten” purred Minho close to your lips.

You only saw him for a few seconds almost begging for mercy as Minho quickly pushed and carried your body gently and positioned you lying down on the couch, from which at least you had a cushion for support on your head. He still inside, lubricated by your each other's liquids, made you spread your tired legs, giving him the spectacular view of what was making him hard, his cock buried in your dilated orifice, and you, helpless and breathless surrendered to him with your eyes of desire, dilated pupils and swollen, glossy lips.

He held you by your waist with his left hand and with the fingers of his right hand began to caress your clitoris, from which your body shuddered and contracted a little. Minho started to move slowly while still giving attention to your sensitive spot with the gentle touch of his fingers, he was penetrating you deeply with constant and gentle movements for a long time, re-warming and preparing your walls and lubricating you more without noticing it.

Minho was 'gentle', as for you, he was fucking you deep making you lose your stability, until he pulled his body closer to you and gave you a dirty kiss, leaving you wanting more of tasting his lips and tongue in your mouth, but he pulled away from you a little still with his body on yours, watching you with a haughty smile knowing damn well what was to come, he withdrew his fingers from your clit and began to ram you at his own pace that made you whimper again, you felt the tip of his cock touch your cervix and his cock bulge in your belly.

“Fuck, kitten, you feel so fucking good taking my cock” Minho groaned.

Minho brought his forehead together with yours, gently brushing your noses as you felt his warm breath and kept ramming you hard, then he pulled his body away and held you by your waist, lifting a little off your hip, he pushed his full length back in, rubbing his cock hard and proud in you and kept pounding you, moving your torso like a ragdoll; you cried, you felt so full, your body writhing with pleasure at the feel of your boyfriend's cock in your core. And when you were so close and Minho felt your walls clench his cock, he gripped your neck tightly with his right hand, moderately choking you. Your gasps flooded the place, you stroked Minho's arm, his notorious veins bulging and without warning, you climaxed in your second orgasm, rolling your eyes and completely blurring your vision, this time making twice as much of a mess as the first time.

Minho bit his lip hard at the sight of your liquid slipping and falling little drops messing up the couch and let go of your neck.

“Fuck, it feels so good, I-I'm gonna cum too” he whimpered.

And he did. Releasing his thick white cum in a shot inside you once again, feeling the warmth of his semen in you.

He pulled out of you, feeling glorious at the scene of your sensitive pussy and your orifice expelling both liquids, Minho could continue fucking you, now in another position, just never get tired of you, but he saw you so tender, so exhausted and with your eyes watering that he decided to stop himself. He leaned over to you and gave you a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“That was wonderful, princess, you did great, let me clean you up. Do you need anything else? Water…? Another round…?” he said inches from your face.

After cleaning you up and helping you put on your clothes, when he was ready too, he sat you on his lap and held you like that for a while, feeling his breathing and relaxed while he answered important messages on his phone, at the same time caressing you tenderly. Later you came out of his office, totally disheveled, teary eyes, red cheeks, slightly disheveled hair and slightly messed up makeup, you wanted to go straight to the bathroom to touch up your makeup and go pee, but you had to go to your cubicle for your cosmetic bag so you still raised glances and superstitions in the air. It was undeniable what was going on in that office.

[…]

You had spent the sweetest weekend with Minho, that Saturday he planned to go camping with you, you had no idea, you thought it would be a small camping tent but Minho was more than prepared, he thought you looked cute wearing a plaid button down shirt of his that fit you big as you watched everything he did. You had an older brother so all these kinds of activities were done by your father with your brother, but it was nice to be with your boyfriend and with nature; and at night you were terrified to sleep there, but you had Minho next to you, sleeping huddled under the big tent. Sunday, you finally rejoined the city and you slept over at his house; having the sweetest sex, taking away the stress of having to socialize as you entered that new agency.

At least throughout the weekend Felix kept in touch with you via messages, of which Minho looked on with a raised eyebrow as you sometimes spent a considerate amount of time replying to him… but he had promised you and promised himself to be less jealous, so he let it go, after all, it was you he was with.

You told Felix in person the great news of your joining the company… which shocked him and made him quite happy… even though you always refused to let him give you that credit. Felix could not hide the fact that he was annoyed that you accepted everything from Minho and that you always made excuses for Felix. But that for you that had an impact in his personality, to accept something great from Felix was for you as if you were suddenly a gold digger and manipulative, that he was sensitive and delicate… while your concept of Minho was to be a serious and dominant man, and the one with a weak personality was you, however your perception of Minho is changing, you are getting to know his tender and sweet side.

And it was when the day approached, in the afternoon after the university, Minho sent for you his driver to drop you to the company; you entered with panic to which a woman escorted you to a room on high floors taking the elevator, the place was big and illuminated as nice as you always imagined.

You were welcomed once you entered the place, where there were 3 adults sitting at a table.

“You're already in, congratulations. We'd still like to have your acting practice video recorded, it's something we do” a woman sitting there told you to which you nodded.

“You can improvise with us this script and when you're ready let us know” the younger woman who led you in told you, handing you a script.

You sighed nervously and read it, studying it a bit, not wanting to keep them waiting to which you jumped in to say you were ready and, a short five minute scene, without much science or difficulty for you, certainly left them impressed.

Normally that was a kind of audition to get in, but Minho did everything he could to make sure you weren't rejected, yet the staff was so curious about you… whether you were going to make a girl they simply paid money to get you in… or whether you really had talent.

And, at last, you were taken to your first practice, where two young adults were already at the front presenting about a topic, you excused yourself as you entered and sat down without attracting attention… but it was inevitable, the girls ate you alive with their eyes as they saw you dressed from head to toe subtly and exclusively luxury designer brands, even your hair clip was from designer, making them whisper under their breath. Minho had chosen your outfit, which you accepted as you felt it was the least you could do as he fulfilled one of your dreams, and he dressed you, literally, putting on each of your garments, provocatively slipping on your panties while subtly touching you until he made you whimper and cum. A nice way to start your morning.

You caught the attention of a boy who was sitting next to you, without recognizing that he was in fact a celebrity; you were so nervous and focused on whatever the boy and the girl in front of you were saying. Twenty minutes of that course passed and you tried to keep up, you understood little, but you understood in a certain way; and in those 20 minutes that boy could not take his eyes off you, you felt it, but you thought you were going crazy to feel eyes on you when in fact it was not like that. To him you looked so familiar… your silhouette, your profile, he couldn't stop looking at you until he remembered and it was when the course ended, you stood up and he gently stepped forward so he could see your full face carefully, until he did, there you were in front of him, the pretty girl who was alone, wearing a white Versace dress and the one he liked her from a couple of weeks ago at an art event he attended. He couldn't believe it, he was stunned, he thought it was all about faith and destiny. This time he had to dare to talk to you.

You saw him along and recognized him instantly, Han Jisung, child celebrity and now social media celebrity, son of one of the country's top directors and co-founder of this company, you had heard rumors that he pursued acting as a career, however that his father wanted him to have a background and that it wasn't just about contacts and nepotism - as it was in his early childhood career - but as an adult his father gave him the opportunity to rehearse and earn acting roles on his own, so now he was practicing in his father's company, the best of them all, by the way.

You didn't make a big deal out of it, you weren't a fan of Jisung, you only followed him on instagram but he hadn't had any major roles for years; so he wasn't someone to make a fuss and idolize. With some nervousness, you approached one of the girls, ready to ask for instructions about how to get to the next room that marked your schedule, Jisung saw the confusion on your face and how you gently lifted the paper of your schedule, so he stepped forward, standing in front of you with a smile.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, his eyes wide paying full attention to you.

The other girls noticed and, like little immature schoolgirls, became jealous of you in seconds, your first impression was to walk in smugly -to them- wearing only designer and now you magically had Han Jisung's attention, they kept wondering… who you really were, whose daughter you were and why you appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the courses.

You smiled at the boy, relieved that you were getting help.

“Mmm, room C-14” you replied more in doubt than affirmation.

His smile grew bigger, showing his teeth and lifting his cheeks.

"I'm on my way there too. I'm Han Jisung by the way, but I'm better known by Han” he said, doing his best to look handsome and sound flirtatious.

You shyly told him your name and walked together to the new room.

The whole afternoon you lived a dream, unwinding in the real environment you always wanted to be in, you wanted to make love to Minho a hundred times to thank him and, the best part was when you were about to leave, although it left you thinking a little, Minho was outside in his car waiting for you and, an instructor stopped you to tell you.

“It is very common to open castings very often so by simply being part of here you are given the opportunity to audition, the calls are published every week in our private access page to the members of the agency, just to look if you meet the characteristics of the audition, you can also send the best options to your agent or public relations manager…”

Your eyes lit up, you could truly audition for real roles, the only small detail was that you didn't have an agent yet.

You walked out of your last session, walking happily to go into Minho's arms, however you hadn't noticed that Jisung was following you to keep talking, plus he didn't dare to shout your name to get your attention, so he followed you to the parking lot but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw you running into the arms of another man, leaving him perplexed. To your luck Minho was standing outside his car waiting for you and, you with a big smile that you passed on to him, he hugged you tightly.

He inhaled the sweet scent of your hair, burying his face in the hollow of your neck and shoulders as he held you tightly.

“Did you like it, princess?” he asked you softly.

“Yes, it was very nice, thank you Minho” you replied still hugging him.

You separated and he took your face between his hands to give you a kiss.

“Let's celebrate at home, I cooked you dinner.”

In the distance, Jisung saw everything puzzled, he really wanted to get closer to you, he was so curious to know who that man was and, when he separated from you, he could see his face completely, it was Lee Minho, the ex-boyfriend of his agent and publicist, with whom Jisung had also a crush for a long time, but she was always with Minho and then they broke up for unexplained reasons and now she had another man, but he always held a grudge against Minho and, if that wasn't enough, now he had you, the pretty unknown girl who was standing alone at that party. Soyul was Jisung's publicist and agent since he was eighteen, his beloved noona, and when he finally thought he could forget about her, you came along, but again, Lee Minho in his way.

On the other hand you without having the slightest idea got into Minho's car after he opened the door for you and when he was starting the car you caught his attention.

“Minho” he turned to see you right away with his eyebrows raised paying attention to you, you were embarrassed to say it but you had to, “…I think I need a publicist or PR agent, or manager… I really don't know…”

Minho blinked suddenly, “Oh my goodness, of course, princess, I'm seriously sorry I didn't prepare you sooner, I'll get you the best one as soon as we get home.”

[…]

You greeted Jisung, it was your second day and you wanted to continue adapting, but he ignored you and looked at you with a bad face, you frowned… thinking about what the hell was wrong with him. You continued the day without him saying a single word to you, he really looked annoyed with you, so before you left you approached him, wanting an explanation of his behavior or if that was his real way of being, sweet one day and the next acting strange.

“Han” you approached him, to which he turned to see you with a nasty look, almost offended that you called his name.

“Don't call me Han” he snorted, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder to leave, without saying anything to you.

The rest of the week was heavy, your utopia lasted a day, you were barely spoken to at practice and you were starting to get so tired that you hardly saw Minho, or enjoyed with him; you came home to rest since all you wanted was to feel your bed. And every day Jisung behaved stranger and like a real son of a bitch with you, as if he hated you. And to the little lack of friends, you had Felix with whom you did not stop texting, you told him every detail, from the color of shirt that idiot Jisung was wearing, to superficial things, Minho was getting more and more annoyed that you did not leave your cell phone and it infuriated him 10 times worse to see Felix's name on your screen, so one night when you stayed at his house, before sleeping, already being in his bed, he simply told you seriously:

“I want you to stop seeing Felix. Stop texting him” he said annoyed, snatching your cell phone from you, you looked at him perplexed, “Look at me, I'm here.”

You pouted slightly, understanding perfectly that he must have felt bad.

“Minho…” you said tenderly but he didn't reciprocate your sentiment.

“I'm being serious” he added annoyed.

You laughed incredulously.

“You can't forbid me who to talk to, what-”

“I can do whatever I want with you” he interrupted you, a heavy energy taking hold of him, “Go to sleep.”

And he turned his back on you, not giving you the phone and leaving you confused. The next morning he apologized for acting that way with you, yet he didn't mention Felix, Minho was really starting to get annoyed. So, you stupidly lied to him. Felix offered to do your first movie night that Friday since you hadn't done it for weeks, so you agreed no problem since you saw him happy again, being his usual self, you were greedy and wanted everything, you wanted Minho and you also wanted Felix in your life.

So you lied to Minho, saying that you wanted to rest in your apartment that day and you couldn't see him, plus you had homework and other things, he really wanted to spend time with you and offered to be with you in your apartment if you wanted to be there, which made you feel terrible, but in the end he agreed, giving you your time alone, apparently.

That Friday night you welcomed Felix to your apartment, who was very happy to see you alone finally having your time together. He came over to your living room couch, ready to put on the movie, of which he wanted to experience something scary, you laughed as he told you about it, it was obvious that Felix wouldn't even survive the first 30 minutes of the movie, he was easily scared.

“I have to pee” you announced confidently, “but you can start playing the movie and grab the snacks, I'll be right back.”

You quietly told yourself to pee; Felix was so happy to be in your apartment again, he had given it a lot of thought and… he came to the conclusion that Minho was just a relationship, but not an official engagement, so he would subtly do everything he could to make you look at him again with different eyes and find him attractive. Felix took the remote control, agilely looking for the movie that was ready to start, he was about to stand up to choose the snacks when he felt a vibration next to him, he thought for a second that it was his cell phone, but it was yours that was resting on the sofa, Felix saw Minho's name, indicating that it was a call and his blood boiled in anger, thinking that not even in your moments alone he would not leave you alone. So, without thinking about it and to play a little, he decided to pick up the call, rubbing it in that it was him who was at his girlfriend's house on a Friday night and not him.

Minho missed you and felt so bad for simply leaving you like that, plus he wanted to be with you, so he was ready to come visit you with a bouquet of flowers since you were trying so hard at your acting practice, and he wanted to ask you if you wanted some dinner. That he would be at your apartment as soon as possible.

Minho smiled happily as he realized you took the call, he took a breath ready to speak but remained open-mouthed as he got a big surprise.

“Minho” greeted a male voice puzzling your boyfriend.

“Who is this?” he said worried with a frown.

“It's me, Felix” replied your friend with an arrogant tone, amused by the situation.

Minho couldn't believe it, he could even speak properly, causing Felix satisfaction.

“What… what are you-, where is y/n?” he asked in desperation.

Felix sighed, almost letting out a growl, “She's… agh, busy.”

Minho's heart stopped for a second, the worst case scenario came to his mind, his trust was damaged, he knew deep down that you weren't like that… but even from the one he loved the most he expected the worst, sadly. Minho hung up abruptly, leaving Felix confused and grimacing, thinking he had really upset him.

Minho rushed to your house, unsure if you were really there, but he would still come looking for you. He didn't think twice, a strength came over him, he couldn't believe it. He had to stop beating himself up and getting silly ideas or he would start crying with anger and sadness.

You came out of the bathroom, with perfectly washed hands and a smile, Felix saw you just the same, so innocent with his freckles on his face and his eyes shrinking from smiling, as if he hadn't done anything wrong seconds ago. And you sat down next to him.

Exactly 35 minutes passed, Felix was already terrified sheltering next to you, covering his eyes, until the sudden sound of your door startled you both. You both looked at the same time towards the door in fear.

“Are you expecting someone?” asked Felix in fright to which you denied, “Why didn't they warn you that someone was coming, no one can just barge in like that…”

You stopped being dramatic and stood up to see who it was, the only people you warned the doorman that they could enter your apartment were Minho, Hari and Felix; you didn't have time to check if you had any message from any of the two out of three in your list, warning that they would come to visit you, you were already in front of your door, looking through the peephole; Felix stayed behind you, scared. And you found Minho, scarier than any horror movie…. He was going to see that Felix was there. You saw him again, he had a serious expression.

You opened up to him, and his eyes opened instantly, examining every part of you, from the time it took you to open the door, from every detail of your clothes and face; but it was safe, your lips were not swollen, your clothes were intact, Minho relaxed his gaze and hugged you tightly.

“Oh, y/n” he said.

You were puzzled by his action but he was so relieved, the last time he appeared by surprise at home, his ex-girlfriend was having sex in their own bed with another man, Minho had terrible memories all the way to your place, hoping that you weren't like that.

He broke away from you, and instantly tensed as he looked at Felix behind you, who had the same disappointed reaction.

“I thought you'd be alone today,” Minho said to you in a low, croaking voice as he looked down at your silhouette.

You looked down at the ground in sorrow, you hated lying to Minho.

“Felix… he stopped by and stayed.”

Minho tried to hide his anger, he took your face in his hands and looked at you tenderly but somewhat defiantly.

“Well I'm your boyfriend and I also stopped by, can I stay?”

You nodded looking into his eyes with your face in his hands, Minho gave you a quick kiss, looking at Felix fixedly challenging him, victorious that he is the one who can kiss you, to which Felix sighed annoyed, it was enough for him, he wasn't ready to see you like this with him.

“Movie night?” added Minho amused.

Felix was about to call it a day and leave, he would let Minho win this time, he couldn't stand seeing you together.

“You know what…” spoke Felix catching both of your attention, “I remembered that I have to urgently go to something with Rachel, I'm really sorry, I have to go.”

You frowned at your friend's clear excuse, Minho smiled pleased that he finally decide to think critically and leave you two alone.

“Felix” you whispered but he ignored you, he walked over to the couch to grab his phone and keys and walked over to you.

Felix gently grabbed you by the waist and planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, not only dismaying Minho but also you, you blushed, you didn't believe he did that in front of your boyfriend without fear. Minho's eyes widened in horror and he clenched his fist tightly restraining himself, he wasn't going to hit him for that, but he wasn't going to let it go either, he would talk it over with you right away.

“Goodbye” he whispered to you as he separated from you.

And he walked through the door. You saw him sad, you were going to go after him without thinking but you felt Minho's hand take your wrist.

"Don't. Go. After him” he said threateningly.

“Minho” you whined, gently breaking free from his grip and caught up with Felix in the hallway.

“Fuck” you heard Minho mumble in annoyance.

“Felix” you called his name and walked up to him, he turned hurt to see you and you not knowing what to say, you said, “I'm sorry.”

Felix sighed again and wanted to be honest with you.

“Y/n… it's still hard for me to see you with him, please don't complicate things any more.”

“I know, I'm sorry” you repeated again.

Felix approached you, he saw your regretful look, him realizing in seconds that he could manipulate you with ease, you would always have a soft spot for him. Felix took your forearms in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“I'll talk to you later to go out another time, okay? And please make him not show up.”

You quickly denied.

“He won't.”

“Maybe you can stay at my place next time” he smiled to which your countenance quickly changed.

“Felix… I can't do that anymore.”

He looked at you seriously and sighed.

“Just… let's get back together without being interrupted by Minho, okay? I have to take it slow.”

You walked back to your apartment, finding Minho annoyed with his hands on his hips. You closed the door behind you, you couldn't even defend yourself, you had lied to him; and he had promised not to get mad anymore.

“I can't believe my girlfriend chooses her friend over me” he spat in annoyance.

“I don't choose him over you…”

“How would you feel if a girl friend invited me to her house to spend the night watching a movie while I'm around her, a night when I could be spending it together with you” he exclaimed again annoyed.

You looked him in the eyes and thought about the situation; Minho was right, you wouldn't stand for that to happen.

You didn't respond and walked to your kitchen counter, with nothing to say, but he had a lot to say so he continued, fueling his anger.

“And what angers me the most is that he walks around… touching you, kissing you, rubbing me the wrong way as if you guys had something…” he said reasoning, suddenly a flush of anger came back to him, “or did you guys actually had something, is that it? Why is it that every time I see that boy he looks at me as if he knows something I don't” he began to raise his voice.

You looked at Minho again.

“Minho don't start with that again…”

You started to get annoyed too, every damn chance he could, he would claim you if you had something with any other man.

“With what? Why is that kid walking around like he'd already touched you?” he walked towards you, stepping in front of you.

Minho suspected it from deep inside him, but he wanted to hear you admit it. This time you averted your gaze, always the same question, and you had never given him a concrete answer.

“Did I have sex with Felix? Yes, once before you, but it was really nothing, why can't you trust me now?” you started to say bravely and at the end sadly.

Minho looked at you perplexed, one of his greatest fears… but hearing the word trust, he understood immediately, his trust had been broken in the past and he was afraid of getting hurt again. He remained silent for a moment and then took hold of your waist, calming and speaking honestly.

“I'm sorry… of course I trust you but… you know what happened the last time I trusted someone.”

You searched his crestfallen gaze. You understood what he was referring to but it seemed absurd that he would hesitate, you were crazy about him.

“I would never do that to you Minho.”

Because I love you. You wanted to tell him, but you held back and just hugged him, suddenly the man who could carry you with ease and loved control, became small in your arms.

When Minho broke away he couldn't hold back and kissed you slowly, making his way with silly steps to your room to make love to you, you needed the closeness of his body more than anything else merely sexual. You wanted him close, attached to you, being vulnerable.

[…]

The rest of the week seemed to go by slowly, until your agent sent you the perfect information and appointment to audition for a TV drama. He got it for you as soon as possible, exactly that day in the afternoon, it was the last auditions they were taking so you were in luck; you were so nervous, it was your first audition for a big deal. And, two days later, you had the most beautiful call between you and your agent, confirming you got the part, blowing you away. Your first major role, you were dying to tell Minho the news.

You didn't think the staff worked too fast because that very day everything was planned inside the company, you met the producer, the director and finally… your co-worker with whom you had to act a love interest. You were stunned to see that it was a slight enemy, Han Jisung. He didn't like the idea either, but you both had to pretend with the rest of the cast for the photo, it wasn't a leading role, but you both would play important characters for the plot; two young people in high school in love, the news had been so sweet for you until you saw his face.

You stayed for the small celebration to meet the rest of the cast and important staff, you were at the dessert table until you felt Jisung next to you.

“You still have a chance to give up the role before they release the official cast photos” he whispered to you.

You turned to look at him offended.

“I'm not giving up anything just because your wacky ass is craving for it, you do it, find another role and another girl to pick on” you replied him also with attitude.

Jisung let out an incredulous chuckle and was ready to return your aggressive energy with another comment, but his countenance relaxed when he saw someone enter; he left you there and went to greet whoever had arrived. You took no notice, but suddenly a strangely familiar voice made you freeze.

“Congratulations on the role” the woman spoke.

You turned around slowly and fearfully, finding Minho's ex-girlfriend. You couldn't believe it, of all the places and all the people in the city… she thought so too, it wasn't nice to see you.

Soyul opened her eyes in surprise at the sight of you. It was all part of Jisung, he just wanted to watch the world burn and see how the before and after in Minho's love life met.

“Nice to see you again…you're an actress now…?” she spoke to you hypocritically to which you nodded, “…how is Minho, are you still dating him?”

Jisung was surprised, he didn't think you already met, he thought then, Soyul still had Minho in mind.

“Yes” you hastened to say, “he is very well, busy for work.”

“I see he's still very busy… I hope he won't neglect you” she added, leaving you confused.

You were nervous but you didn't let yourself be exposed like that; suddenly you hear a voice from the staff calling your name so you rush over there.

Soyul was thoughtful at the name you were called by and ran over there… and asked Jisung if your name wasn't Choi Eunjoo.

[…]

You had a dinner to celebrate the beginning of the shooting and development of the project, you had already received your script but… you wanted to tell Minho the news as soon as possible; they were given the rest of the afternoon to get ready, you asked the driver not to tell Minho that you had left early and, once you arrived at your apartment you sent him a message asking him if he could come to see you at your place, he quickly answered 'ok' and 40 minutes passed… you thought he would cancel you at the last minute because something important must have come up at work. You didn't have a specific plan, you just wanted to hug him and tell him the news, you had bought some wine to relax the atmosphere and make it more sophisticated… but every time you were losing hope of seeing him, until you heard yourself knocking on your door, running towards it.

You found Minho, hidden among a large bouquet of flowers, until you saw his radiant face in an adorable smile. You opened your mouth in amazement and let him pass.

“For you” he said kissing your cheek, “you've been working so hard, princess” you took the bouquet, longing for it in detail, as if he knew you would give him good news. “You missed me so much you wanted to see me?”

You smiled at him and gave him a short kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, Minho, they're so pretty… I have news for you” you left the flowers on the table and Minho looked at you with attention, you were embarrassed to say it, but you did, “… I got my first role” you exclaimed happily.

A big smile formed on Minho, he suddenly radiated genuine happiness and rushed to hug you tightly lifting you up a little.

"Congratulations, really. You deserve it” he replied hugging you.

And kissed you tightly when you distanced yourselves a little more as you didn't stop holding each other. You blushed, you didn't know how to react.

“Do you want to celebrate somehow?” he added sweetly blinking suddenly.

“Oh… I have to go to a dinner in a few hours so I didn't think of anything special, other than seeing you.”

Your words made Minho warm. You both were inches apart and his closeness always took your breath away… he looked so good, suddenly something of another kind of love and affection for your boyfriend crossed your mind… you played with the collar of his shirt and raised your gaze, giving him the lascivious eyes, you wanted to feel good.

Minho smiled sideways at the realization and lowered his hands a little from your back to your ass.

“Who's more special than me making you feel good, right, princess?” he replied.

You nodded, and your small movements were interrupted by your boyfriend's lips on yours kissing you nimbly. He pulled you closer to his body and slowly caressed from your back to your ass, you were starting to get aroused and it was just… something about Minho wearing his office clothes made you so hot, he looked so good in his tight cloth pants and his button up shirts that marked his arms.

Minho started to undress you until he left you completely naked in front of him, your body was exalted as you felt a little spank on your ass, then he took it again and squeezed it hard kissing you again. You felt so dirty and naughty being naked in front of him and him still wearing all his clothes. Minho kissed you the whole time, as he moved his hand down to your pussy and began to caress you mercilessly, wetting his fingers all over your area. He was so excited too that in one swift movement, he turned your body and made you lean back against the edge of your kitchen counter, giving him the view of your back and ass. You watched eagerly as your boyfriend pulled down his pants and released his cock, you bit your lip as you imagined him fucking you, but to your surprise, he placed his member between your folds, making you close your legs and began to rub his cock between your thighs. You both moaned and you thought about how every time he came up with anything to tease you. The texture of his cock rubbing between your labia and his tip protruding from the other end between your clitoris and mons pubis, you gasped more and more, Minho was driving you crazy. Minho held on to the lower part of your arched back as whimpered at the tightness of your thighs together pressing his cock, moving back and forth until he let out his cum, sliding down your thighs and squirting the beginning of your vulva.

[…]

The next day you had an unexpected and beautiful visit to the practice. Minho was there. Apparently he was going to be an official and heavyweight sponsor throughout the shoot. You smiled discreetly at him and slipped away to ask him if that was planned before or after you got the part, you would be disappointed to know that Minho was in the way of you getting a part, but you noticed the innocence in his eyes, he had planned it all right after you told him.

Minho was friends with the producer so he offered him to stay and see a bit about the project, Minho accepted without a second thought, that meant more time to see you.

“They are the two main ones” the producer said to Minho pointing to two adults close to his age, “And the two young ones over there” Minho saw how they pointed to you and another guy, “they are other characters with love interest… but I see a certain attitude from the guy with the girl, I think they seriously should have chemistry if they want this to go well; besides they are adorable together, don't you think so?”

Minho didn't think it was funny nor did he find the gentleman's words pleasant and then watched as the boy grabbed your arm and dragged you away from the room, puzzling and annoying him a bit.

You walked out of there with Jisung totally confused, annoyed about whatever he would want now.

“Did you read the script yet?” he spoke to you curtly.

“What?”

“I refuse to kiss you, that won't happen, I told you to give up the role” he spoke annoyed.

Again you looked at him perplexed, you didn't even understand what his problem was… but he had a very big problem towards you, it bothered him that you couldn't be his and you were running around with Lee Minho.

You really wanted to challenge and talk back to Jisung but… he was the damn son of the owner of the company.

“Oh please grow up” you just put it to him saying, rolling your eyes.

“Then cooperate to make this go well.”

You opened your eyes in surprise, you saw his intentions to get dangerously close to you, but you shifted your body uncomfortably and managed to slip away and re-enter the room a little upset, Minho saw you and wanted to instantly run to you… but he had to keep it cool.

You were thinking that Jisung wanted to behave weirdly with you, maybe he just wanted to flirt with you so you would clarify that you had a boyfriend… and you couldn't tell Minho at all because you were afraid that he would react possessive again and you hated when he got like that and blamed you by, going back to your usual fight.

Minho saw you distracted while he was driving and stopped the car near the river view. You looked around because he had suddenly stopped and you looked at him for the first time after leaving the agency.

“What's wrong, love?”

You grimaced, urging a smile.

"Nothing… I'm… anxious about the new job” you lied.

Minho smiled at you and wanted to let your thoughts pass for a second, he just wanted to hug you and being locked in his car didn't help him.

“And you feel too tired to walk for a while with your old boyfriend?” he joked imitating an old man voice which made you laugh.

You shook your head and got out of the car, feeling the cold breeze, Minho ran to you and put his coat on you. You thought it had been long days when you were out walking with Minho doing nothing special, just seeing places together. He lifted your chin, making you look into his eyes, he couldn't hold back anymore, he took your face and brushed his lips on the bridge of your nose in a kiss.

“I love you.”

That surprised you and came to you like a cold gust of wind, which suddenly turned warm in seconds. All your questions had answers now. No one could take you away from him.

“You know I love you too.”

------------------

₊˚⊹ ᰔ TAGLIST: @stayceebs97 @linocz @kimseungminsprincess @xhazmania @strayzid @jisunglyricist @tinys0ftie @yaorzu-blog @kisses-too-the-moon

[kaciidubs]

i’ve come back a lot sooner than i expected 🤭 hear me out.. 9th maknae member reader (skz) x Mingi (ateez) 🤯 Reader and mingi have been in a secret relationship for at least a year and both Companies are preparing on announcing their relationship to the public/fans. (it gets better 😼)

Both groups: (ateez + stray kids) don’t know that they’re dating 😱 The boys arranged a massive sleepover for both groups to hangout and reader gets really hot and bothered by mingi teasing her the whole night. They end up excusing themselves (sneakily) and they have the most mind blowing sex ever. All of the other boys over hear and were shocked 🤯 They act like nothing happened as they didn’t want to assume they were dating but later on at an award show it was finally announced that Mingi and Reader were dating. Skz boys went crazy and was practically babying their precious maknae 🫶🏻

kaci my favourite writer 🥰

(p.s sorry for how long this is 💀)

This one's been sitting for a while, mainly because it's already a wonderful thought as is! So, here's just a few thoughts to expand on it~ ❣ Warnings: 9th Member! Reader + Song Mingi [Ateez], smut, fluff, slight humor ❣ ❣ Additional tags: essentially a crossover for Staytiny all around the world~

While the rest of the members were in the living room, you would be bent over the bathroom sink with Mingi giving his all in rearranging your guts in the most quick yet efficient way possible - though, that way didn't include him being the quietest while doing so.

"Mm, jesus, fuck-"

"Mingi, be quiet."

You'd think he was the one currently getting his guts rearranged from the way he struggled to contain his moans, leading you to shoot him a warning glare through the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

"We might as well go and fuck in front of them if you're going to be this loud!" You seethed with a hushed scold, gripping the edge of the counter to keep your balance with his unwavering thrusts.

You could only hope that your combined groups were too occupied with the movie they were watching to notice you and Mingi missing.

Sharp eyes locked onto your own through the mirror, a sideways smirk stretching his lips, "You'd like that, wouldn't you? It's not like they don't suspect it anyways." Snapping his hips forward, he continued, "We can just give them a nudge in the right direction."

Biting back a moan, you dropped your head between your shoulders to focus on the orgasm he'd been teasing you toward since he arrived at your shared dorm; subtle grazes and risque touches keeping you wound up and ready for anything.

A hand found its way around your throat, pulling your body up at an angle so that your gaze met his once more; captivating and hypnotizing, yet still filled with a love that had you falling for him all over again.

"I love you," the words fell from his lips with ease, honest and true, "and I don't want to keep hiding it."

You were, too - he knew that better than anyone, and having to hide it not only from the world, but your band members, the closest people you have, had been eating you both up since day one.

Gripping his forearm, you nodded softly, "I love you too, baby - just a little l-longer to go."

His lips curled into a smirk before driving into you with a newfound fervor.

Neither of you would catch the knowing side eyes or smug smirks of your members when you each returned separately to the living room to catch whatever remained of the movie.

The 'little longer' would eventually come during an award show, with the thoroughly discussed plan between your managers and PR team of revealing the relationship to everyone during a collaborative performance.

Part of it was Mingi's plan to do a performance together, but with the way your schedules aligned, you figured doing it live as opposed to uploading it on youtube was the easier choice.

With the stage - quite literally - set, you and Mingi performed your arduously practiced routine in front of your fellow artists and hundreds of screaming fans, and as the song came to an end the moment you've been waiting for was upon you.

Getting ready for the ending pose, Mingi pulled you into his side and pressed a loving kiss to your temple, while you hugged him with a dazzling smile to the camera focused on you both - and to say the reactions were worth it would've been an understatement.

The wild screams of your colleagues and fans was enough to pierce through your earpiece, and shooting a glance into the idol space you could see all eight of your members going absolutely insane - sneaking a glance to the Ateez table to see almost a mirrored reaction.

Leaving the stage to take off your earpieces and mic packs, the return to the Stray Kids table was nothing short of a spectacle as Changbin swiftly wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"You think you can just go off and get a boyfriend without telling us?! You're too young!"

"Innie and I are literally just a few months apart," you laughed, trying to pull away from his partial choke hold.

"Yeah, a few months too many! You're our baby!" Jisung all but wailed, squeezing your cheeks much to your dismay.

Seungmin scoffed, "The fact that we knew and you're still acting like this? Hyunjin's dramatics is rubbing off on you."

"Wait- You knew?!"

"It's not like the two of you were the sneakiest..." Minho's nonplussed tone made a wave of embarrassment wash over you, the memory of the movie night quickly dawning. "Plus, trying to hide anything from Wooyoung is like trying to limit yourself to one of Felix's brownies - it's impossible. Changbin hasn't stopped talking about their theories since they first started scheming."

Managing to untangle yourself from Changbin's hold, you found Chris standing in front of you now, a firm expression on his face.

"Are you happy?"

You could hear the lingering, unspoken words behind his question and you offered him a gentle smile, nodding, "I am, I really am."

Face brightening with his signature smile, he pulled you into a quick hug, squeezing tightly, "Good, because you're definitely telling us how everything started between you two, later."

Separating to go back to your unassigned assigned seats - with a few words of congratulations from Felix and Hyunjin - you looked across the aisle to catch Mingi already staring at you, his lips pulled into a proud smile while the rest of his members gave you teasing, yet supportive, cheers.

[unedited]

[malecftw]

Dirt - Tom Blyth

A/N: Duuuuuuuude, I feel like I'm in an alternate universe. Never would I have thought I'd ever be writing again, years later! Please please please let me know what you guys think since this is my first story back. It'll probably play a part in wether or not I'll write more since I obvs love writing, but a writer isn't a writer without readers.

Enjoy xx

Warnings: fluff.

(Not my gif obvs)

The cool breeze of the opening car door makes you smile. The vehicle moves slightly as someone sits in the driver's seat. After some rustling you hear: "Open up." You do as you're told and open your lips slightly, only to feel the cool metal of a reusable straw. A groan escapes your lips as you taste your favorite cooled beverage. By now, he knew all your favorites by heart, just like he knew your dislike for the standard paper straws they've started using everywhere. You're all for saving the planet, but paper should never be sucked on. You lean your head against the headrest as you turn your head towards the driver's seat, even though your eyes could only see black.

"Does this mean you're gonna be my servant all day?" You hear a chuckle. "Don't get used to it hot stuff. You're only blindfolded until we get there." You puckered your lips, "and where is there exactly?" you try again. For months, he's been keeping you in the dark about what he had planned for your birthday. He hyped it up quite a bit so your curiosity only grew as it led you to this moment, literally in the dark about the whole thing. He just kissed your lips and you knew that was the only answer you were gonna get.

The drive was filled with your favorite music, the occasional chatter and regular hand kisses as he held yours in your lap. Although you couldn't see anything, you weren't bored. It was rare that you got to spend much time together, so even this was a treat. You still found it crazy how he had been able to persuade the producers and director to film around your birthday. Well, persuading isn't exactly the right word. He had a few different gigs lined up, so he could basically tell them: "Give me these days off, or I'm going for the other job."

He was always the assertive one in the relationship. Especially when it came to you. Any free moment he could get, he would make sure to capitalize on it just so he could spend it with you. Ever since you guys met at Julliard, you'd been absolutely smitten with eachother.

Your thoughts were interrupted as the car came to a halt. "Slow down tiger." He said, quickly grabbing your hand moving towards the blindfold. "Tooooooom, please..." you whined, squeezing his hand. "You'll find out soon enough, trust me. Now I'm going to come over to your side to help you get out okay. No peeking."

The dramatic sigh that left your lips made him laugh, loving the advantage he had over you. As you play with a loose thread on your jean overall he opens the door. Grabbing your waist, he lifts you out of the Jeep, squeezing your sides in the process.

"Okay, take off your blindfold on my mark." He exclaims, followed by alot of shuffling, making you aware of multiple people present. "Go for it babe." He says loudly, and you do as he says.

The sight infront of you startles you, not at all what you expected. It feels like you're in some kind of national park. Only stones, sand and dirt in sight. If you exclude the group of people infront of you that is.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone shouts at the same time and you jump back a little in surprise. In front of you are you closest friends, as well as some of Tom's coworkers you'd been lucky enough to get close to. A few Billy The Kid costars were also there, you assumed the others had to keep filming while he had a couple days off.

As you take in the sight, hand over your mouth, still in shock, you notice everyone has a bucket hanging from their wrist. "What the fuck!?!" you shout, happy but confused. Tom walks up to you, takes your hand and walks you closer to the group. He hands you a similar looking bucket, a chisel and a hammer.

"We're going crystal digging." Tom smiles, stretching out his arms proudly as he looks at the scenery. Your heart nearly bursts at the seams as you throw your new equipment to the ground and jump in his arms, clinging onto him like a Koala.

"Tom Blyth, you are the most unrealistically perfect boyfriend ever and I do wonder how I ended up with you." You whisper, looking into his eyes, trying to make him realise how much this means to you.

It's not like you were crystal-obsessed. It's just something you'd been drawn to your entire life. A little quirk one might say. It was a subtle part of your life. One that you had often gotten judged for by previous boyfriends. Tom never spoke negatively about it, it was just a part of who you are and if it made you happy, why would he try to manipulate it out of you like the ones before him. It's not because he himself wasn't that interested in it, that you weren't allowed to be.

"Babe, all I do is listen. It's not rocket science." He smiles as he gives you a little Eskimo kiss. "So humble," you mock swoon as het puts you down. "Oi, don't be jealous if I find the biggest rock okay." He grins while nudging your side. "Not gonna happen. I'm a crystal magnet." You say cockily as you join the group.

After a couple hours, everyone was covered in dust and dirt. Happily you look at your bucket, having found a couple huge, beautiful crystals and a lot of smaller ones. Next to you Tom was also holding his bucket closer to his face to inspect what he found. Your shoulder touches his elbow as you say: "You know what, I might have a couple of them made into some lovely jewelry pieces."

Tom looks at you bewildered. "Like what?" You don't think much of it as you answer. "I don't know. There's some beautiful stones in here for some earrings, necklaces, bracelets... Or maybe I can make some stuff myself you know. Get my creative juices flowing." He sighs softly at your answer. "I love you." At that you raise your eyebrow. Neither you or Tom were shy of expressing your love for eachother, but this was a bit random. "I love you too. I honestly don't think you realise how much this means to me. I never would have guessed this to be the surprise. It's so thoughtful. It truly shows how much you know me through and through." "I'm glad you like it. You're always down to try anything, even if you're not sure about it in the beginning. That's why I feel comfortable trying something new. I'm aware it hasn't been easy now that work's been steady and I've been away from home a lot. And you have no idea how much I appreciate you giving me the freedom to follow my dreams."

He leans down and kisses you passionately. Melting into his touch you stand there for a while looking at the scenery, taking everything in.

*That evening*

"You clean up nicely mr. Blyth." You comment on his attire. He does a little twirl, smirking as he checks you out. "You're not so bad for a little scavenger." You poke his side and sit down in one of the chairs. After you'd said your goodbyes to the rest of the group, Tom had driven you about an hour away from the crystal mine. You knew that wasn't the end of your birthday surprise since he'd told you to also pack some nice evening attire.

Tom had booked an amazing restaurant. The owners went above and beyone to blow your mind, preparing an outdoor table with the best view. After dessert, you both were enjoying some lovely wine and eachother. Catching up after not having seen eachother for a while since you'd only flow in yesterday so you could spend your birthday together.

He absentmindedly played with your fingers as a comfortable silence settled between you two. You felt him rubbing your ring finger and noticed him looking at it. "Looks quite empty doesn't it." He says quite casually. You roll your eyes and jokingly hit his chest. "Don't play that game." You say, smiling widely. You'd talked about marriage before, you both knew you wanted it at some point in your life. Sure some people say it's just a piece of paper, and you couldn't fully disagree, but it also had a deeper meaning to the both of you. The promise of choosing eachother, every day, forever.

He looked into your eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not playing games anymore love."

The way he said it made you shiver. He'd made that joke before, but never with an answer so serious. He leaned back in his chair. "Do you remember, early on in our relationship, that time I forgot my tie for one of the first plays I did at Julliard?" You smile as you think back to that memory. "How could I forget. You were basically a living zombie for 3 weeks leading up to that play."

Tom nodded, back to playing with your fingers.

"I remember I had been so stressed. The character I played was so dull. I struggled so much finding ways to make him more interesting to the audience. And that damn tie. It was so important to me. Silly how something so small could mean so much at the time." "So much that you forgot it at home 3 hours before the play." You humored.

Looking enamoured, he continued.

"And I remember you. You with your make up half done, running towards me in a fucking thunderstorm. And when we met in the middle, you just casually opened your vest, handing over that damn tie."

Laughter exploded from your chest. You were in the middle of getting ready to attend the play when you got the frantic call from Tom. You didn't think twice and started running towards the school, and didn't even realise it was raining until you were running through the streets of New York City, by then it was too late to turn back to dress appropriately for the weather.

The man infront of you smiling, as he relived the same memory.

"That's when I knew."

A questioning look painted your face.

"I knew. Right then and there, that I'd always look for you in the crowd."

Speechless, you squeezed his hand.

He sat up straight in his chair. Taking both of your hands in his.

"I love you. I love the way you still can't use our airfryer, 2 years after we got it. I love your random obsession with knitting and making me wear your handmade sweaters to work. I love home, but only when you're there. I love that you let me be who I truly am and I love that you are fearlessly yourself."

He stood up and kneeled down infront of you, taking out a red, velvet box.

"Please allow me, to fulfill one more dream of mine."

As he opens the box he speaks with shaking voice and tears in his eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

[crucifiedfaerie]

Nicotine Stains | Pt. 2 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: As your relationship with Kylo grows behind closed doors, so does your worry and confusion about what exactly you are to him.

➴ Part One

➴ Word Count: 5.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, modern!delinquent!kylo au, smoking, swearing, quite a bit of angst, kylo is a stupid man who doesn't know how real relationships work apparently, he also doesn't know what communication is, reader is in her head about it, mutual pining, finnpoe my loves make an appearance (its canon to me idgaf), fluff, kinda hurt with comfort, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, car sex, softdom!kylo, kinda breeding kink ?? oops), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams @beautifulbluejay @mochiseni )

A/N: im alive !!!!! holy shit i promised this would be out in like november. oops. the writers block has been so real im sorry. now that i have this out though, chapter two of growing pains will be coming next !! i promise i didn't abandon that.... anyways i hope you enjoy !!

masterlist

You impatiently sat, knees tucked beneath you and head resting on the back of your family’s couch so you could look out the window. The men in your life had been away for a week and a half, and while you couldn't deny having Finn out of your hair for once was like a peaceful vacation in itself, you missed Kylo like crazy. Having to look at his sleek, black Charger parked in front of your house every time you looked out of your window didn't necessarily help either.

When he told you Finn had asked him to tag along on their annual camping trip, you couldn't help but laugh. The image of Kylo trying to fit his tall, broad frame into a tiny shared tent with your father and brother was too hilarious to you.

"What’s so funny, kid?" He had laughed back at you.

Usually, Poe was the one to go on those trips with your brother and father, but with him away at pilot school, Finn had been lonely recently. He wasn't expecting himself to take it so hard, but gods did he miss Poe. Despite missing Kylo, you were glad he agreed to go and keep Finn company. Your father, of course, was also overjoyed to hear that Kylo would be joining.

Your eyes lit up as your father's beat-up car pulled into the driveway. You watched as they unpacked the car and exchanged words you couldn't hear before Kylo parted ways and headed to his car with his bag hanging off his shoulder. When he reached the driver's side door, he noticed you in the window and gave you a subtle wink before getting into the Charger and pulling away. 

Part of you was expecting... hoping for him to come in, but you should have known he wouldn't. It's not like your family knew of your weird relationship that had been blossoming for the past month. You couldn't help but still feel a little disappointed, you hoped maybe he would have just said fuck it and come in and kissed you. Maybe he didn't miss you as much as you had missed him? Your heart sank at the idea. 

The mixed signals Kylo had been giving you were starting to give you whiplash. One minute he would be in your room treating you like you're the only person in the world who matters to him, and the next he'd be standing in the kitchen talking to Finn or your mother, not even giving you so much as a glance. 

The thought of asking him about what exactly the two of you were honestly made you wanna die. You didn't want to come off as clingy and ruin whatever it was you had, but the twinge of hurt that came with every time he ignored your presence was starting to become… too much. 

You sighed and walked upstairs to your room, feeling defeated. You practically collapsed in your chair before putting on your headphones and starting on some schoolwork, attempting to think about anything but Kylo. 

A thump muffled by the music in your ears broke you from your calculus-induced trance. When you turned around in your chair you were met with Kylo on your bedroom floor, who you assumed had just fallen through your window. You giggled at him, pulling your headphones down to rest around your neck. 

He groaned before sitting up and smiling at you. "I meant to do that." 

"Sure." You laughed, getting out of your seat to join him on the floor.

Kylo leaned against the wall, pulling you into his lap. He gave you a quick kiss before pulling away and looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes you can never seem to get enough of these days. "I leave for nearly two weeks to go into the middle of nowhere, and I can't even get a text from my girl when I get home?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

You felt the warmth creep across your cheeks at the way he called you his. "I got carried away with homework, I didn't even realize what time it was." You glanced at the window behind him, noticing the dark indigo hue of the sky.

Kylo smiled, peppering small kisses down your jaw. "What were you listening to?" He lightly tapped your headphones with his long fingers. You took them off before carefully placing them over his ears. "Chevelle? I see my good taste continues to rub off on you kid." He grinned.

"Don't be so full of yourself. My dad loves Chevelle, I got it from him." You laughed, taking the headphones from him and tossing them into your chair. Kylo smiled before standing up, taking you with him, and setting you on your bed gently. His kiss was needy, and he slowly pushed you backward until you were lying down.

He pulled away, out of breath slightly. "Do you know how much I missed this? You were on my mind every night I was there... I couldn't even jack off because we were in that stupid tent..." He paused, shutting his eyes. "You didn't hear that." 

You giggled. "You jerk off thinking about me? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

Kylo laughed, rolling his eyes. "You idiot." He attacked your face with kisses that tickled, causing you to let out a half scream. "Shhh kid, your mom's gonna think you're being murdered up here." 

As if he had summoned her, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. Kylo quickly stood up from your bed, rushing over to your closet and maneuvering himself inside before shutting the door quietly.

You shook your head at him, stifling a laugh and taking your seat back at your desk, pretending to look like you were doing something. "You can come in." 

Your mother opened the door with a soft creak. "Were you talking to someone?"

You quickly fabricated a lie. "I was just on the phone with a friend from my class." 

Your mom nodded, briefly glancing around your room. "I actually came up here to tell you to ask Kylo if he's coming to dinner on Friday. I meant to ask when they came home earlier, but he left so fast I missed him." 

Your hands felt sweaty. Why would she ask you to ask him? Did she know? "Why wouldn't you ask Finn to talk to Kylo?" 

She leaned on the doorframe slightly. "Well he's been driving you to and from class a lot recently, just ask him for me tomorrow would you? And you better make sure to thank that boy for driving you around! It's very nice of him."

It took everything in you to hold back the laugh that threatened to surface. You just knew Kylo was doing the same. "Yeah, I'll ask him." You had almost forgotten you had class in the morning. Fuck.

"Thank you. Goodnight, I love you." She began to shut your door. "Remember. Tell him thank you." 

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, I love you." You laughed as you listened to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

You leaned forward in your chair to open your closet door. Kylo chuckled softly. "Is there something you needed to say to me?... Sorry, I couldn't hear the conversation very well with this door in the way." He smirked, taking a step towards you. 

"Oh shut up." You smiled back at him. 

He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his long arms around you. Your face pressed into his shirt, the smell of blackberries and pomelo from his cologne filling your senses. "It's fine, you can thank me in different ways." He whispered into the top of your head.

You giggled nervously, feeling your face get hot again. "Yeah?"

Kylo took your face into his hands and leaned back as if to study you. "Yeah..." He smirked. "But not tonight, you have class tomorrow, remember?" He kissed you again before letting you go and making his way towards your window. 

You groaned at him. "Why not just stay the night?" You asked sweetly, following him.

He smiled down at you with adoration. "What, so we both wake up late and you miss your class? Your parents would hate me." Kylo smirked

My mother and father could never hate you, stupid.

"Fine." You sighed, not having the courage to argue.

He leaned down and kissed you again, deeper this time. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?" 

"Okay." You said it so quietly you weren't sure if he even heard it. He ducked out of your window, shutting it quietly. You watched as he climbed down and went to his car in the darkness. Once his tail lights had disappeared at the end of your street, you collapsed onto your bed, allowing your body to succumb to sleep and silence your racing mind. 

Friday afternoon, you sat at the table in your overly warm kitchen, trying to finish some classwork as your mother cooked. The sound of the doorbell made your heart leap out of your chest. You'd been anticipating today all week and while you were hoping it was Kylo at the door, a part of you was also hoping he'd show up late so you wouldn't have to endure getting ignored by him so much.

You heard your dad open the door. "Hi Son, what a pleasant surprise!" You felt your palms get clammy. "Finn! Come down here!" Your father shouted up the stairs. You craned your neck to look around the corner and see who it was, hearing Finn's quick footsteps as he made his way down the steps. 

It was Poe. He stood in the foyer, dressed nicely but still wearing that worn, brown leather jacket he always wore. He held a bouquet of orange and white lilies. You smiled, those were Finn's favorite. 

"Poe!" Finn nearly knocked Poe over with how quickly he hugged him. "You said you wouldn't be back until summer!" 

Poe wrapped his arms around him, laughing. "You know I had to surprise you." He pressed a kiss to Finn's forehead. "Hey, don't crush the flowers, they barely made it on the trip down here." 

Finn pulled away, beaming at him. He took the flowers into his hands before kissing Poe.

You looked at your mother, who was grinning almost as wide as Finn was. "Aren't they just adorable? When you find someone, they better treat you as good as Poe treats Finn." She smiled at you. You gave her a weak smile back and nodded, looking back at the textbook in front of you. 

You couldn't help but wish Kylo would do that. Showing up at your door with flowers, instead of sneaking through your window no later than 11 pm to smoke weed and fuck. It wasn't like your parents wouldn't approve of him... they have always adored Kylo for no reason at all. You attempted to focus on the pages in front of you, it was ridiculous to dwell so deeply on a man you weren't even actually sure was yours.

Kylo showed up fashionably late of course. Your mother beamed at the sight of him standing in the entryway. "Kylo honey, I was worried you weren't going to come. Go ahead and sit." 

He smiled sweetly at her. "You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking for anything." To your surprise, he took the seat right beside you, something he never does when he's over for dinner. 

Other than small glances, Kylo did not acknowledge your presence at the beginning of dinner. He mostly caught up with Poe and talked cars with your father. As you picked at the food on your plate, you felt a large, warm hand rest on your thigh. When you turned your head to look up at Kylo, he seemed unphased, deep in conversation with Poe.

"How is pilot school treating you, man?" Kylo asked, his one hand inching further up your thigh as he took a bite from his fork with the other hand. 

You felt warmth creep across your cheeks as you clenched your thighs together, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

He cannot possibly be serious? The fucking dinner table?

You looked at him again, chewing on the inside of your mouth and attempting to relax as much as you could. Kylo glanced down at you briefly, a sly smirk playing at his lips and his pupils large. He turned back to his conversation with Poe as he inched his long fingers underneath your skirt, brushing them against your clothed cunt.

You felt a moan threaten to escape your lips so you pretended to clear your throat, causing Kylo to fight back a grin. He was enjoying this way too much... This was all too much. You quickly grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him from going any further. Thank god for your mother's tablecloth or everyone would have seen what was happening. 

You weren't sure what it was, maybe the obvious flush on your face, but your mother had noticed something was up. "Is something wrong sweetheart?" 

You tried to think of something, anything reasonable to say but your brain felt so foggy. 

Oh you know, Finn's best friend and so-called 'angel' in your eyes is playing with my cunt under the dinner table but doesn't have the decency to take me out on a date, no biggie.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here." You managed to get out, fiddling with the neck of your sweater. Kylo had removed his hand which was now resting on your knee. You sighed, silently thanking the gods of every pantheon you could think of. Moaning in front of your entire family at dinner wasn't exactly ideal. Despite the wetness growing in your panties, you wanted nothing more than to strangle him right there.

The rest of dinner was a blur, and at some point, Finn, Poe, and Kylo had disappeared to the basement, most likely to drink and play video games. This allowed you to sneak away to your room, the noise from the TV downstairs dissipating into a soft murmur as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

-

"FINN! I'm getting obliterated over here and you're on the other side of the map fucking around!" 

"I'm literally almost there calm down!" 

Kylo sat on the couch, listening as Finn and Poe bickered over the game they were playing, loud gunshots and explosions emanating from the television as Poe was, in fact, being obliterated. 

His knee bounced up and down nervously. As much as he enjoyed seeing Poe again and playing video games like old times, all Kylo could think about was seeing you again. 

You had seemed a little off today, did he do something wrong?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, taking a few minutes to type, delete, and retype his message to you, finally deciding on something lighthearted. 

Kylo: where'd you disappear to kid? you're missing out on some riveting gameplay down here.

The blue glow of his screen illuminated in his hands a few minutes later, and he felt a wave of excitement course through his body when he saw that you had responded. 

♡: i forgot i had a paper i needed to finish.

Kylo frowned at his phone, it was 9:30 pm on a Friday. Surely he had done something to upset you. He sighed before trying to formulate another text to send back to you.

Finn’s voice pulled him from his anxious thoughts. “There are more beers in the garage, I’ll be right back.” Kylo watched as he kissed Poe quickly before sprinting up the stairs.

“So,” Poe started, leaning closer with a grin on his face. “Any new girls or are you still fixated on your best friend's sister?” 

Kylo groaned, knowing this would come up. “That was in middle school, I wouldn’t have told you then had I known now you’d still be bringing this up years later.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ren.” Poe laughed. “Elementary, middle, high school… Hell, four months ago before I left, you were talking about her.” He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth before continuing. “I don’t know why you won’t just go for it. Their parents already love you, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal like you think it will be.”

“You don’t get it Poe, they like me as Finn’s friend. She’s in college and I have nothing ahead of me except a court date for a speeding ticket next week. But if you must know, we’ve been… talking and hanging out for the past month and I’m pretty sure I’ve already made her mad at me so… yeah.” Kylo said tiresomely. 

Poe’s eyes lit up. “What the hell dude? Were you just not going to tell me-”

“We got lucky, there was only three left.” Their conversation was cut short, to Kylo’s relief, by Finn coming down the stairs holding three crisp cans of beer, the condensation leaving a damp mark on the front of his shirt.

“I was actually about to head home.” Kylo said, standing from the old, sunken couch. 

Finn groaned in protest, setting the cans on the water-stained coffee table. “Just stay for another game or two, I’ll let you take my spot.” 

“Yeah, just another game or two.” Poe chimed in, his eyes wide, silently pleading with him to stay in hopes Kylo would tell him more. 

“Sorry guys, I’m just really tired tonight.” Kylo shot Poe a look. “I’m coming back over tomorrow.” With Finn’s back turned momentarily, he took the opportunity to mouth “Drop it.”

“Fine, but no flaking out on us or we will drag you out of your home.” Finn smirked.

Kylo nodded in agreement, laughing slightly, before making his way up the stairs into the kitchen. Your parents had already gone to bed, the refrigerator humming and ticking clock being the only noise that filled the quiet darkness. 

He silently made his way up the stairs to your room, taking a breath once he reached your door before opening it slowly. Once inside, he noticed your empty desk chair and your computer which cast a soft glow on you, lying face first on your bed. You turned your head to look at him.

"Making really great progress on that paper I see." He smirked at you, that stupid smirk you love to hate and hate to love. 

"I'm tired." That was all you could manage to say to him. After his stunt at the dinner table and his general behavior in the past month, you honestly wanted nothing more than for him to just go away.

“What's wrong pretty girl?” Kylo’s voice was soft and sweet like honey. You felt the bed dip beside you and two strong arms wrap around you. “Are you mad at me for dinner? I-” 

You sat straight up to look at him, causing him to stand up from your bed. “Yes! Yes, I’m mad at you for dinner.” You shouted at him, as much as a whisper would allow you to. “You don't even have the decency to come through the front door most times, and when you do, you act like I don't exist. I don't understand you, if I had known I'd just be a fuck buddy to you I wouldn't have given you my virginity in the first place.”

For a few moments, Kylo stared at you. He looked surprised but there was a softness and concern in his eyes. “That isn't all you are to me, I promise… I just... feel like I'm not good enough for you sometimes.” 

You sighed, collapsing back into your pillows. Your capacity to care or argue with him was spent. “I wish you had figured that out before you invited me out onto the roof to smoke with you.” 

The room was quiet for a few moments before you heard the sound of your window opening and closing. He left your house wordlessly, with nothing but dead silence left in his wake. 

You felt hot tears sting at the corners of your eyes, regretting nothing more than ever allowing Kylo to get close to you. 

Asshole.

You hadn't realized you’d fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. Lifting your head from your tear-soaked pillow, you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness of your phone to see who was calling you so late.

Kylo.

You nearly groaned, debating whether or not it was a better idea to just ignore him. You ultimately decided against your better judgment.

“What do you want?” You spoke sleepily into the phone.

“Just come down here for a moment.”

You got up and looked out your window. Kylo stood in front of your house, leaning against his car with his phone pressed against his face. “No.” You were about to hang up on him before you heard his voice again.

“You can hate me, that's fine. I just want to show you one thing.” There was a quick desperation to his voice. “Please.”

“Fine.” You sighed, hanging up the phone before slipping your shoes on quickly and opening your window. Once on your roof, you had wished you’d grabbed a jacket. The cold, midnight air nipped at your exposed arms, causing you to shiver. 

You climbed down your mother's trellis, taking extra care not to crush any of the vines that would bloom beautifully in the spring. 

You felt the frozen dew from the grass brush across your ankles as you made your way to Kylo’s car and watched as he opened the passenger side door for you. The warmth of the car interior enveloped you as you sat down, and once fully inside, he shut your door before practically running around his car to his side. 

He pulled away from your house with a roar from his engine, and you hoped your parents didn't hear it. 

“Where are we going?” You asked unamused. 

“Somewhere I like to go when I want to be alone... I think you’ll like it.” Kylo said softly, glancing at you once before focusing on the road again. 

You sighed, watching as he pulled onto a backroad. The canopy of trees shaded the car from the moonlight, only the glow of the radio dimly illuminating the interior. 

“You really shouldn't have, you know… Taking me somewhere nice like the forest before murdering me.” You said sarcastically.

Kylo laughed. “Where else would I dispose of the body? Suburbs are much too populated.” He joked, reaching for his cigarettes before offering one to you. 

You tried to hide the smirk that played on your lips, hating how easily he could make you laugh. You accepted the cigarette, watching as the trees cleared to reveal a moonlit lake. 

Kylo put the charger in park, before turning in his seat to face you. “I’m sorry I've treated you the way I have this past month.” He reached up to light your cigarette for you, not breaking eye contact. He ignited his own, taking a few puffs before continuing. “I've always been so scared of not being good enough for you or living up to your family's standards… and now I've allowed my fears to hurt you. But I can assure you you're way more than just a quick fuck to me, I can't apologize enough for making you feel that way.” 

You watched as Kylo reached into his back seat for something, retrieving a stack of small notes and colored paper. He smiled nervously before handing them to you. 

As you flipped through them in silence, you tried to make sense of what you were looking at. In the stack were dozens of notes and cards all in his handwriting, some more recent and some that seemed to have been written by a much younger Kylo. You looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile on your face. 

“I would write them and always get way too nervous to give them to you… but I kept them anyway.” Kylo said nervously, speaking quickly. “I've liked you since we were children, Poe always-”

You cut him off with a kiss, his warm lips immediately melting into yours as he kissed back with need and desire. Kylo extinguished his cigarette in his car's ashtray before traveling his hands up to hold your face.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still cradling your face in his hands, Kylo looked at you with a gaze so soft, that you thought you'd melt into a puddle on the floor of his Charger. 

He spoke softly. “Be my girlfriend. Say you'll be mine and my fears will be far behind me, I promise.” 

You beamed at him, nodding quickly. “I'm yours.”

Kylo’s lips connected with yours once again and he kissed you feverishly. He reached down to fiddle with something before his seat extended back with a dull thump. Without ever breaking the kiss, Kylo pulled you with him to the backseat, laying you down so he was hovering above you. 

You quickly fumbled with his belt, trying to blindly undo the clasp. He brushed your hands away, kissing his way down your now trembling body and stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Hooking his fingers into them, he quickly and expertly removed both your pants and underwear in one go, exposing your bare cunt to the cool air of his car. You watched as he threw your clothes somewhere into the dark void that was the front seat. 

You whined, pushing your thighs together for warmth and friction, which Kylo promptly used his strong hands to open again. “Not so fast, my little star. I wanna take my time with you tonight.” He smirked up at you. 

Half-kneeling on the floorboard of the car, Kylo peppered kisses up and down your inner thigh, causing you to shiver in his grasp. After what felt like eons of teasing, he finally placed a kiss just below your pubic bone before licking a stripe up your slit. 

You moaned, tangling your fingers into his long, dark locks as he began to feast on you. Your body felt full of electricity as if you were going to spark and short circuit at any moment. 

He was unrelenting with his tongue, and you felt yourself nearing your climax. “Kylo!” You whined desperately. 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” He mumbled against you, not faltering once in his attack on your now very sensitive clit. 

“You’re g-gonna make me cum already, stop.” You breathed out. 

You could feel him smirk against your heat. “That's fine. Go ahead, cum for me.” He hummed.

Your head felt light and your body electric as you came, your vision blurring as you rode your high on his tongue. You only noticed he had stopped when you came to and saw him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his dark hair messy and pupils blown with lust. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He breathed as he undid his belt, “I can't believe I waited a month to do that.” 

Laughing weakly, your head still fuzzy from your high, you admired him as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest littered with beauty marks. He looked so angelic the way the moon behind him cast his frame in an almost halo-like glow. You watched as he freed his erect cock from the tight confines of his jeans. 

Kylo kissed you as he lined himself up with your entrance, pausing momentarily to hold the side of your face in his hand and smile at you with adoration. “I wish you could see how pretty you look right now… How pretty you always look.”

You whined, still unable to form a coherent sentence and wrapping your arms around his broad frame. You felt him push his cock inside you slowly, and he watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull in pleasure. 

You moaned into the crook of his neck as he began to move, thrusting into you gently. His hand traveled up your shirt to cup your breast while he used the other to keep the back of your head from hitting the door handle. 

Kylo’s pace quickened, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside you with every thrust. “You’re gonna m-make me cum again, you f-feel too good.” You breathed.

“I’m not gonna stop you, baby. Cum on my cock as many times as you need.” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath as he neared his own climax. 

You came undone beneath him for the second time that night, loudly moaning his name and whatever expletives your brain thought of first, not having to worry about the possibility of waking your entire family as you both bathed in the moonlight that slipped through the now foggy windows of Kylo’s Charger. 

“Hm- Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kylo moaned into your ear. 

“Please cum in m-me. I love you.” You whined. Your mind was so foggy from cumming twice that you had lost your inhibition completely and it took you a moment to realize what you just said to him.

You didn’t have much time, however, to worry about it for too long as Kylo let out a moan you had never heard from him before, a sound of need and desperation. “Fuck- Fuck! I love you too.”  He came to a halt deep inside you, before filling you with his cum. 

He breathed heavily on top of you, staring down at you with shock and adoration. “I love you too.” He repeated, completely out of breath. When he pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thigh as he quickly retrieved his shirt from the darkness of the floorboard to clean you up. 

Kylo peppered kisses up and down your body before pulling you into his lap to hold you in his arms, and you watched as he lazily drew a heart in the condensation that had collected on the window. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, thinking only of how comfortable you felt in his presence. 

You didn’t get home until 4 am and slept through most of the morning. You awoke to your father yelling at you from downstairs saying something about how there was somebody there to see you. Confused and still tired, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the stairs. 

You stopped in your tracks at the top of the steps. Kylo standing in your foyer waiting for you was the last thing you expected. He had cleaned up nicely, trading his usual rotation of black band tees for a nice, dark button-up, and in his hands he held a bouquet of pink lilies. He smiled nervously up at you.

“Hi?” You beamed at him, laughing slightly.

“Hi,” Kylo smirked, looking down the hall towards the kitchen, where your dad had disappeared to, before continuing in a lower tone only you could hear. “I thought I’d try the front door this time.”

[at1nys-blog]

A change of heart

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Naruto mother figure!reader

Summary: Naruto has left to train with Jiraya and you are left to wonder if he is doing okay.

A/N: let me get this out of my system thanks a lot don’t know if is going to kill my writer’s block but I see what happens with the asks I have in my draft. I have no idea what this is, if is bad please pretend nothing was written🙃. This is the longer ff I have wrote and is just crazy to me lol @charming-cherry0 here the Kakashi’s ff I’ve talked about hope you like it

You gave up a life filled with missions; a life of notority for the love you had-and still have to this day-for the people that took you in and raised you when your family died. You had promised to Minato and Kushina that you would take care of their son if anything happened to them. You didn't expect to fill in the role of a mother this soon.

When they sacrified themselves for the security of Konoha you were initially mad at them, leaving you just like your biological family did. Of course it wasn't their plan to die this young, not when they just became partens for the second time. You had to live with the fact that you had a job do to, to take care of your little brother Naruto.

Time passed, Naruto grew up and you couldn't help but being reminded about that night. Mostly because the villagers would always bring it up when walking past you and the Jinchūriki, making the young ninja ask questions, and you had to tell him white lies about it, the Third Hokage had made everyone promise to never reveal the true identity of his parents.

It broke your heart to lie to him, keeping him in the shadows of his lineage, but you knew that if words spread he was the son of the famous Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage of the Leaf Village, he was going to be in more danger than he already was for having a tailed beast sealed into him.

It broke your heart when Naruto would come home faking a smile. You noticed he had been secretly crying, his puffy red eyes giving away his secret, but you never commented on them, instead you made sure to remind him that there were more important metters than caring about what people had to say about it. It always brought a sincere smile on his beautiful features.

With time, his pranks and shenanigans never stopped, and so your profusely apologizes to the villagers, who only rolled their eyes to you and whispered under their breath what a terrible guardian you were to the kid. "If he doesn't know how to behave is because he is not getting a proper education" they always said and you had to control yourself and not yelling at them that you were doing your best as a young girl yourself. Sometimes Naruto would hear the adults making fun of you, and this was one of the reasons why he would be mean to them, throwing ramen leftovers on their face or sticking out his foot to make them trip.

"Naruto, what happened? Why would do that to them?" you would ask him once in confinement of your apartament, away from prying eyes and ears. He would only say that he felt like it, or that they had been making fun of him. He didn't want to make you doubt your skills as a parental figure, not when he too knew he wasn't an easy kid to take care of. You would scoff and tell him to got to his room and do some homeworks while you would make dinner.

With time, things started to get better. Naruto had came to you one day revealing that he was determined to befriend Sasuke Uchiha, at the mention of the clan that got massacred your mind went back to when you had met the boy's mother before the tragedies that took place at the village and you smiled at him. Assuring him that one day, the two of them would the best of friends, you didn't know that was taking them a long time to get there.

It was when Naruto failed the gennin exam that you felt like a failure, if he didn't came to you for help it had to be because you weren't doing a good job of reassuring the boy he could rely on you, but oh how wrong you were. Naruto loved you dearly, and was grateful to have you in his life so he couldn't let you down, he had to make you proud of him and he thought that coming to you for help was a sign of weakness for him and he didn't want to show you he was weak.

You cried, for the first time in front of him, that night after he had told you all of that. Hugging like your lives depended on that you assured him that it was okay to show weakness, for him he was just a kid. From that night he never kept sectres from you, well maybe just the fact that he knew that people still belittled you by doing a poor job raising him.

You never, in your life, were jealous of people but since Kakashi Hatake became the sensei assigned to Naruto's team you discovered a new emotion: jealousy.

You had heard about the shinobi in question, how could you not? He was famous because of his father and for his talents. While at the academy you never interacted much with him and he kept a distance from you too, the two of you had nothing in common but the fact that your adoptive father was his teacher, that was it. Nothing less, nothing more. One single person in common wasn't a reason strong enough to bring the two of you to talk to each other for more than five minutes. But now? How much you wished to be able to take off your ears, because honestly? You couldn't stand another day hearing about the man.

Naruto was smittered with him, sure Kakashi sometimes was harsh with him but he was a great teacher. He couldn't stop talking about him, not only that but the constant talk of the town on how lucky Naruto was to have such a mature and responsible teacher made all your hard work seem trivial. The villagers kept on belittling you by putting on a pedestal Kakashi Hatake, the gem of the Leaf Village.

It had been a week since Naruto left Konoha alongside Jiraya, a week without a single word from him informing you about his days with the legendary ninja and his training sessions, a week worrying about the boy. Was he eating enough? Was he resting enough? Is he spending his money wisely or is he spending it for useless things? You couldn't stop thinking about how he was doing away from you.

"Earth's calling Y/N." you heard the voice of Kakashi from the other side of the window of the shop. You rolled your eyes upon seeing him laying hands on the windowsill with his book on sight. You turn around, asking him what he needed in such a late hour at your store. "saw the light was on and decided to see if you needed anything"

"Nothing if it's coming from you." you simply said walking towards the register to collect your things before heading back home. You didn't hear him jump into the store, his movements always quiet as if he is always on a mission of some sorts, you didn't even hear him closing the window, only when you turned to leave the store you noticed what he has been doing. "you need anything?" you mocked him, your words harsh because why was he so suddenly paying you a visit after closing hour?

"I don't need anything. Again I saw the li-" you cut him off, taking out the keys you unlocked the door and invited him outside. He didn't say anything, just followed your silent instructions and waited next to you to lock the door again. "heading home?"

"What do you think?" his presence was annoying you, you didn't want to be seen with him walking around the village, who knew what terrible things people would say if they saw you with such loved shinobi like him. "Hatake you don't have to walk me home, I still remember how to protect myself" it was true, all those year of combat training were still present in your muscle memory so you could have managed just fine if something were to happen to you. He didn't care, keeping you company on your way home.

"I just want to catch up with an old friend, is that wrong?" you halted at his words? Friends? Since when did he consider you a friend? The last time you checked the two of you even spoke was during the attack of the Nine tailed fox on the village, and just because you had to inform him about a change in the original plans.

He noticed your absence a couple of seconds later, turning around he asked you what happened that got you to stop in your tracks.

"I'm sorry, since when are we friends?" Kakashi was about to answer but you didn't give him the chance to add anything. "Listen, just because you are Naruto's teacher does not mean you and me are friends. And before I say anything that I will regret later please go home. I don't need to be reminded that I am a pathetic excuse of a mother." you whispered the last part, you didn't need him to know how you felt.

Kakashi heard you, loud and clear. He knew you were critisized by the villagers. He came across a couple of people that would praise him by belittling you, the ninja had always took your side, defending you against the mean words spoke behind your back. He didn't fight you, he didn't comment on your sentence, he was sure whatever he said wasn't going to make you feel better.

That night you cried, alone in the apartament you shared with Naruto and that was going to feel cold until he was back from his training. You knew that those three years without him were going to be long.

The next morning you woke up tired, giving a quick look at the pillow you could tell you cried yourself to sleep. The sight in the bathroom's mirror could confirm your theory, not that it was that hard to come to the conclusion of that, after what happened last night it was either that or you had spilled some water on it. The latter being the last possible.

Once you were finally ready to go and open the doors of your shop, you were faced with a toad at your doorstep, you can tell is one of Jiraya's because the animal is too big to be a common one. Is only when you took a second look that you noticed it had an envelope between its hands, you asked permission to take it from the animal and when the envolope was in yours the toad disappeared. You smiled reading the name of Naruto on the paper. Today was going to be great.

Dear Y/N,

sorry if I haven't written to you sooner but this week my days were filled with learning new techniques with the Ero-sennin that I totally forgot to inform you about my days. You don't have to worry about me, the Toad Sage reminds me to not overwork myself. I am eating a lot of good and tasy food. My sleeping schedule is not the best but I always remember your words about how important a good sleep is to become stronger.

I miss you very much, take care of the shop and eat a lot of ramen for me too.

Love you, Naruto.

The letter finished with his signature thumb print and a smiley face next to it, you smiled thanking that he remembered you while away for training.

The door of the shop opened, and you looked up from the letter to invite in your first client of the day but upon seeing Kakashi you rolled your eyes annoyed by his presence already.

"I don't think rolling your eyes is a good way to make your costumers feel welcomed" he commented.

"Why are you here?" you asked walking in front of the your desk. "and don't you dare to say that you just want to have a talk with a friend because I'm pretty sure I made it clear yesterday that we aren't friends." your tone was calm but the point came across to the shinobi, you didn't want to have him around.

"I'm here in peace. I want to look for something to buy, that's all." he said, intertwining his hands behind the back of his head he started walking around the store.

"You do realize this is a store that has nothing for you, right?" your shop was filled with clothes and accessories for the female villagers, nothing that Kakashi could wear or use even if he wanted to. The sizes were too small for him and you could swear he is not the type to take a bag with him. You pictured him with a couple of hairpins but only in the secrecy of his apartament, never outside. You scoffed at the imagine of him securing his white hair with pretty pins.

"I never said it was for me. I said I'm looking for something to buy." he repeated, deciding to not ask you why were you scoffing so out of the blue. "Asuma wants to surprise Kurenai and I offered to help him find something that she might like" you were taken aback, you never imagined him to be someone that would offer his help to look for gifts. "oh by the way, do you know if Naruto is okay? That ungrateful kid didn't write me a letter yet." you totally missed the little smile that formed on his face, both because you were facing his back and because of the mask he never takes off his face.

"I, actually, got a letter from him this morning." you said happy that Naruto wrote to you first than Kakashi, even though he had wrote at the two of you simultaneously, but what you didn't know couldn't hurt you, right? and Kakashi kept that information for himself when he heard your teasing tone. He didn't want to ruin your day, not after what you had said yesterday.

"That kid, forgetting about his teacher like I mean nothing to him." he commented looking at some hair clips with a charm at the end, he took a couple of them and came to you asking for which one you prefered. You choose the wooden one with the red details reminding him that most of Kurenai's outfits involved the color red. He thanked you and paid for the object.

"You mean a lot to Naruto, more than I like to admit honestly." you told him before he could leave the store. "Thank you for everything you do and for taking care of him when I can't" you confessed. He only smiled at you, wishing you a good day and promising that he wasn't going to bother you for the rest of the day.

Months passed and once a week you would get a visit from one of Jiraya's toads delivering at your doorsteps a letter from Naruto informing you about his days with the Toads Sage and how much he is improving his ninja's skills and you, oh so wished to write to him how proud you were, but his safety came first and if you wrote to him the Akatsuki would probably find him, risking to get kidnapped. You just made a note to yourself to tell him that, the moment he was back to Konoha.

Naruto’s letters weren’t the only thing keeping you company and making you smile, Kakashi was another reason why your days weren’t too boring. He would come to your shop, pretending to look around and then waiting for you to close up so he could walk you home, asking about your day, asking what Naruto had told you in his letter that week, talking about his missions (if he was allowed) and about Guy. The stories about his friend were the one you anticipated the most if you had to be honest.

When he started to hang around more, you were annoyed at him, mostly because you knew people would talk behind your back, making comments questioning why Kakashi Hatake, one of the most renowned shinobi of the village was friend with someone like you. Someone that failed both as a shinobi and as a parental figure. Their words were just speculations, you knew that, everything was far away from the truth but they still hurt you.

"She was a great shinobi and gave up all of it just because of a kid." you heard someone commenting while walking past Ramen Ichiraku, his friend scoffed saying that if you gave up so easily to take care of Naruto it was because you weren't that good as a ninja to start with.

"She failed as a ninja and as a mother. If Naruto thinks he can do whatever he wants is all her fault." he added half drunk. You had to stop in your tracks, not because you wanted to know how the conversation would move on, you didn't care much, but you had to take a deep breath before breaking down in the middle of the street. The day didn’t start in the best way and it was going to end even worse if you were to show yourself weak in front of others.

"She was the only one that could keep up with me." you recognized the voice, how could you not? It was Kakashi. "and she could kick your asses if she only wanted." he stopped, you thought to eat some more portion of ramen or to drink some water. "She did her best considering her young age and the fact that everyone was against her. Leave her alone already, she went through so much and doesn't need such remarks from people that don't even know her." The other two ninjas didn’t talk back, and you headed back home assuming they dropped the conversation there. Nothing else to add after Kakashi called them out.

Walking down memory lane that night you rememberer how during your days at the academy you thought you didn’t like Kakashi, but with time you realized you hated him. Growing up you matured and came to the conclusion that hate was such a strong emotion to feel for someone that you had nothing to do with, it was jealousy, not hatred. It could never be hatred. Now, at the doorsteps of your thirties you had to admit you were envious of him.

You envied Kakashi because he was naturally talented; you envied him because every kid always talked about him; you envied him because he was liked by all the people of Konoha; you envied him because he was everything that you could have been if life didn’t throw you a tragedy after another. You went to sleep with Kakashi’s words still in your mind and with apologizing to Kakashi on your to-do list.

That morning was rather...calm, the sky being grey didn't allow the birds to fly away from their nests and you imagined today was going to be pretty slow since people didn't like to go out with such a weather.

Opening the door of your house you bumped into Kakashi, standing there with a Bangasa* umbrella in hand.

“What are you doing here?” You asked visibly, and rightly so, confused at his presence in front of your door.

“Walking you to work? I need to be gone for a mission after lunch so I thought that maybe I could spend some time with you before leaving. If you are fine with it, of course.” You were fine with the idea of him walking you to work but the fact that he was leaving for a mission wasn’t in your plans. You decided to wait when he was back to talk to him, you didn’t want to distract him while on a mission. “So…”

“Sorry. I’m… that’s okay and really, you don’t have to spend time with me.” You said locking your door.

“But I want to. And you know, we can’t tell if I’m coming back to Konoha in one piece.” He teased but you took it seriously, knowing that you had a conversation planned with him.

“You better come back in one piece I… I have something I would like to discuss with you.” Kakashi was curious and asking to explain further your words, you repeated that it had to wait when he was done with the mission. “I just don’t wanna distract you.”

“You would never distract me. Come on, tell me.” Giving in sounded so easy and it was. The apology rolling out your mouth in a second. “And it had to wait for the mission to be over because…” you didn’t know, it was stupid considering you just had to apologize to him. Maybe you thought he was going to add more than a simple ‘thank you’, what exactly were you expecting was a mystery to you too. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me.” He added before you could express your reasoning, if there were any.

As he said he spent half the day at your shop, in the corner he made himself with time. He was quiet, reading his book and not exchanging words with the women that wanted to talk to him. They didn’t exist to him.

At lunch he stood up from his chair (yours but you never used it so he decided to claim it as his) and took out of the pocket of his vest a small white stone, you recognized it, it was an opal.

“I read it is good for protection. Never go out without it until I’m back.” You smiled at him and thanked him. “Or… don’t I don’t know. I was told… I thought you would like it.”

“I love it. Just, make sure to be back safe and sound. I don’t want to plan your funeral, I still don’t like you.” You joked. He smiled under the mask, his visible eye squinting a little bit.

“Don’t worry, Guy has everything planned for my funeral already.” He joked “see you when I’m back.” He added before leaving the shop. You watched him walk out when one of your costumers nudged at you.

“He is a good catch, confess already.” You blushed at her words and made sure she understood that you felt nothing more than admiration towards the ninja. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.” She said before paying for the necklace she had chosen.

The mission took longer than what you expected, and since your apologizes to Kakashi you bumped into his friends more than usual (Guy drunk told you he asked them to keep you company when possible) but you didn’t mind their presence. Since Naruto left you realized he was your only friend.

Kurenai was a sweet woman, always making sure you were doing fine and making sure if you had eaten enough for the day; Asuma was quiet, mostly sticking around Kurenai and promising you he would quit smoking (he never did); Guy was the funniest of the trio, telling you stories about when he and Kakashi were younger and even if you knew some of them already you let him talk.

Waking up, you looked at the calendar on your little desk, the day circled in orange was a reminder of the anniversary of the death of Minato and Kushina. It was the first time you went to their grave all by yourself and thinking about it you didn’t want to go anymore. Maybe staying all day home wasn’t a bad idea after all.

You wished Kakashi didn’t get his friends to be on your neck 24/7 because the second you laid down in bed you noticed the three ninjas outside your bedroom window.

“Why are you guys here?” You asked looking at them.

“Because we don’t want you to rot in your bed today.” Answered Guy “get off bed and get ready” he added.

“Ready for what?”

“We have a little surprise for you.” Asuma was the one answering your question. “Come on.” You sighed rolling your eyes before leaving the bed once again. “Good choice.”

Getting ready with your mind elsewhere wasn’t easy but you wouldn’t dare make the three ninjas outside your house tell you, once again, to move already.

Stepping out your apartment you wanted to go back in, whose idea was to blindfold you? And, most importantly, why would they blindfold you? Kurenai assured you it was her idea, you doubted that but there wasn’t time to fight if she was lying or not, and that you had to trust them.

Is not like you didn’t trust them but the fact that they just decided to take you out and blindfold you wasn’t helping at all. You decided to follow their instructions, without complaining.

The spot was a special one for you, not because it was anything secluded (if it was your friends couldn’t be able to find it) but because it was where Minato, Kushina and you liked to spend time together. It was your little piece of Heaven on Earth until…

“You didn’t had to” you told them, because they really didn’t had to prepare a picnic for you.

“We wanted to” replayed Kurenai “and besides what a best way to remember them than spending some time at their favorite secret place” she added up, smile on her face.

“If the dishes are not of your taste blame it on Kakashi, he suggested those” explained Guy

“Pretty sure he remembers his sensei’s favorite foods so I’m not even surprised.” You were, because those were mostly your favorite dishes (also some of Minato and Kushina’s).

The four of you started eating and in the mean time ended up talking about the Fourth Hogake and his wife, the three ninjas asking you about how the two deceased shinobi were in the privacy of their house and you laughed at the memories.

“Okay, okay let me just…” you cleared your throat and took a sip of sake before speaking again. “…I would tell you curious cats all about my lovely parents that died to save the village that hates me” everyone laughed at your tipsy words.

Standing up you try to stay as in equilibrium as possible before speaking again. And you started from the beginning, from when Kushina found you crying your eyes out over your parents’ dead bodies. She comforted you, telling you everything was going to be okay, and she took you with her, there is when you met Minato and Jiraya for the first time.

You told them how Minato was a lovely fiancée to Kushina and how he was always helping around the house without a sense of shame whatsoever, you admired him for that wishing for yourself a man that could help around the house without complaining that he shouldn’t do such things since ‘he is a man’

“That sounds like Kakashi if I have to be honest” cut you off Asuma and you laughed it off, maybe he was right but you and Kakashi? Engaged? No thank you. Talking about them some more you arrived at the day they sacrificed themselves and your happy smile dissolved from your features, leaving space to a more serious expression.

“No one knows, not even Kakashi I guess but I need to be honest about it. I hated them for quite a bit. They promised me to never leave me alone. That they would never do like my biological parents did and yet… but they didn’t leave me alone, no sir. They put the responsibility of raising a child on my shoulders and I was only 15 years old. I hated it, I couldn’t look at Naruto without thinking about them and for a couple of months I didn’t take care of him like I promised. Then one day I saw Kakashi…” another sip of sake “…and he looked like nothing was bothering him, he had moved on faster compared to me, he made it seems so easy and I hated him for that. I hated how fast he had moved on, I hated him so much that I felt like I had to prove a point. I still don’t know what the point was supposed to be, but I think it helped me come to my senses and do what I was supposed to do for the past three months.”

Asuma, Kurenai and Guy were left speechless at your words and you mentally thanked them for keeping their judgmental thoughts for themselves. Because if they spoke their minds you would have hated it.

You spent the whole day eating and training with the three shinobi and you are happy to be able to get back to the old days when you would train with them when you weren’t yet stripped of your position as a ninja of the Leaf Village.

You are a little rusty, I mean after 17 years of working in a jewelry shop everyone would be, but you managed to take down Guy and Asuma a couple of times. It was after the sun set that your friends decided it was time to go home and after your thank yous they left you alone with your thoughts.

You stayed some more, looking at the horizon with one thing in mind: Kakashi Hatake. You wished he was there with you, he was the only one, after you, to have spent the majority of his time alongside Minato. Rin was dead, to keep the village safe, Obito died to save Kakashi and he was away for a mission that would take his life away if he wasn’t careful enough.

Walking up the stairs you didn’t notice the “bread crumbs” left on the steps, only when you reached the top and see Kakashi in front of your door that you notice he is holding something in his hands.

You look back noticing the petals of Kushina’s favorite flower. Your eyes tear up at the memory and the fact that you didn’t allowed yourself to look at those flowers ever again.

“Surprise.” He said and when you turn around to face him his small smile disappeared and his expression turned worried. You don’t have the time to fall on your knees that he is holding your shaking body into his. Your cries filling the silent night. “Is okay, I’m here now.” And you keep crying holding into him for dear life.

It took you a couple of minutes to stop crying and even then you kept on sobbing every now and then. Kakashi took off his fingerless gloves and started wiping away the tears on your face.

“I miss them” you said hiccuping your words to him. He doesn’t say much, just that he understands the pain in your heart because he misses them too. “Please don’t you leave me too” his heart aches at your words and he keeps on drying up your face assuring you that he wasn’t going anywhere without you.

He helps you up and walks you to the door and you wished you were able to function but no. With shaky hands you dropped the keys on the floor but he is there, helping you in every way possible without judgement.

Entering he made you sit down at the dinner table and while you tried your best to recollect yourself he filled up a glass of water.

“Drink up everything you are drained” he commented and you listened to him (mostly because you were truly thirsty) and chunked the whole glass down. It was refreshing you though. “Sorry if I made you cry, it wasn’t my intention”

“It wasn’t your fault. I think it was the build up pain.” You didn’t mean to tell him about it but you did regardless. Telling him how you never properly mourned their death because first you hated them for leaving you and then you had a child to take care of and you couldn’t dwell in your pain.

“I hated Minato for a while too.” He confessed and you were speechless at the confession. You always thought he had moved on pretty fast after what he had been through, you imagined he was used to people leaving him behind. You were so wrong about all of it and you felt guilty you felt like crying again. But you didn’t, you couldn’t because Kakashi told you to get ready for bed. “If you need me here I can sleep over.”

You find yourself almost using the L word in that moment, if it was out of friendship love or romantic you didn’t know. You knew you were grateful for him in that moment. You tell him he could sleep in Naruto’s bed and he nods at your proposition. That night you had a good sleep, one you haven’t had in years and that you truly needed and you only had to thank Kakashi Hatake for that.

It was during dead time that you heard Konohamaru screaming from the top of his lungs that Naruto "big brother" was back from his three years training. You rushed outside, locking the shop as fast possible. Running behind the Third Hokage's grandchild on your way to see Naruto you almost bumped into Kakashi.

"where are you running to?" he asked, following behind you.

"Naruto is back" Konohamaru and you said in unison, Kakashi speeding up and catching up with the two of you. He wanted to meet his student because he too have been missing him lots during those three years.

Kakashi stayed behind, never passing by you. The shinobi wanted for you to be the first one to see Naruto, considering the relationship that binds the two of you and for the fact that the young ninja didn't write that week (Kakashi hopes that Naruto did it on purpose but he imagines the kid just genuinely forgot), and you did, between the three of you, you spot him first. He was talking with Sakura, the girl was mad at him for something you didn't even care to find out. It was when the kid you raised as your own spotted you that he ran to you. He hugged you, hands around your middle and lifted you making you squeal out of surprise.

"why didn't you wrote me you were coming at the village?" you said once he put you down. "I was going to think something had happen to you" he scratched the back of his head giving you a nervous smile. Before he could apologize properly Konohamaru was all over him asking him questions about the time he was away and reminding him about the promise the older ninja made before leaving (a stupid challenge about who performs better the Sexy Jutsu Naruto invented). You noticed Sakura rolling his eyes, Moegi doing the same.

You felt Kakashi lightly hugging you from the side, and you didn't mind the presence of the ninja, not when you apologized for your shitty behaviour. Since that day your relationship with Kakashi got better day after day to the point where you started having feelings for the man, romanic ones to be pricise.

"what is happening between the two of you?" he asked, looking confused to why you weren't at Kakashi's throat for being this close to your figure. "are you fucking my mom?" you were able to feel hear Kakashi stiffening at those words, who wouldn't when accused of such an intimate, and very personal, activity. "you know what? I don't actually want to know. Treat her right or I am coming for you, I know where you live" he threatened him and both you and Kakashi weren't able to say much back before he excused himself saying he had to report to Granda Tsunade frst thing first.

As you were left with Sakura, team Ebisu and Kakashi you cleared your throat ready to explain that the only thing that there was between Kakashi and you was pure frienship. Nothing more, nothing less.

"not to be that person..." started to speak Sakura "but I never, ever, saw Kakashi sensei interested in a woman like he is with you." she shrugged her shoulders when you gave her a death stare. "Just saying. By the way, gotta make sure Naruto doesn't get in trouble with the Hokage" you pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deep to keep calm. When you opened back your eyes you noticed the younger ninjas looking at you.

"You three better get to training before I rat you out to Ebisu Sensei" Konohamaru wasn't didn't care, you could tell, the smirk selling away his thoughts on the entire situation.

"Kids those days, always telling lies" you tried your best to light up the mood but Kakashi's espression told you you were failing. "you don't... you don't think so?"

"totally, yeah. Kids teasing their teacher like there is no tomorrow." he said, heading back to his apartment avoiding any type of contact with you. You follow behind him, your shop being in the same direction as his house.

"I'm sorry for Naruto. I will make sure he apologizes to you as soon as possible." he doesn't answer, keeping his pace slow so you were able to keep up with him. "I would suggest he pays for whatever you would like, you know, as a little revenge" he chuckled a little and you were happy that he finally was able to let Naruto's words bahind him.

Kakashi kept you company at the shop, helping some costumers that mostly wanted to engage in a conversation with him. Mostly to ask him if he was single and what type of girls he liked, he nervously laghed at them trying his best to change the topic.

Looking at the interaction you couldn't help but smile at it. The way he softly smiled at those ladies trying to set him up. The way he would try and subtly change the subject. The way he would walk them out with gentle hands.

He scoffed, walking to the cash register he takes his head between his hands complaining about the ladies of the village doing whatever they were trying to achieve.

"I mean, you are old and never been seen with a partner of any sorts. You spend all your time with your students or out for missions." you tell him, pushing his elbows away from the desk. "they like you and they want to see you settled down. That's it" Kakashi and you were discussing about the fact that he doesn’t want to settle down with the first woman people would set him up with, he wants to meet someone and grew with them, embrancing their qualities but also their flaws and he does tell you that. Soft boy, was your first thought at his words.

The bell at the top of the door rang and shifting your gaze to the entrance you saw Naruto with his signature smile on display.

"Ehy mom, I came to tell you that I need to go first thing in the morning for a mission."

"So soon? But you just..." looking how his joyful look turned into a more serious one you knew it was about Sasuke, it had to be about him. "I get it. Do you at least have the time to eat with me before you leave?" he nodded and you told him, and Kakashi to wait for you outside so you could finish cleaning before closing the shop.

Walking to Ichiraku Naruto revealed some new details that he couldn't share before about his days with the Ero-Sennin and you had a good laugh with him. Kakashi didn't intrude much, for what reason you couldn't tell, but it didn't care at the moment becuase you were back with your favourite boy.

Teuchi welcomed the three of you and so did his daughter, a little smirk forming on his face at the sight of Kakashi.

"Introducing the boyfriend to the family?" she said earning a little spank on her back from her father.

"He is not my boyfriend Ayame, how many times do I have to tell you?" you complied at her statement.

"But you wished he was?" said the younger ones, you turned to Naruto looking at him in confusion, what gave him such an idea? "I mean I come back and you haven't yelled at him once."

"This doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend but just that me and Kakashi talked out our.."

"yours" he interjected and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Yeah, my problems..." you said looking at Kakashi "...we became friends with time. Nothing wrong with it" you said and then asked Teuchi for three ramens.

While Teuchi and Anyame prepare your food Naruto was curios to know how it happened, he clearly remembered you saying that there was no way you would change your mind on Kakashi, and here you were, sharing some ramen with the person you were supposed to hate the most in this world.

You told him about how everything changed between his sensei and you when you apologize to him and that you find out a different side of him when he helped you during your breakdown. Since then you did everything together, let it be a little stroll around Konoha or having lunch during your breaks at the shop.

“With time I started liking him.” You said “oh thank you for the food.” You take a spoonful of it and complimented Teuchi. “You see, with time you can understand who truly cares for you.” That was a little jab at Naruto because you never liked Sakura for him. Sure they were good friends now, but the way she treated him at the beginning ot their training times? It wasn’t what you had expected from a team mate.

“Don’t get all philosophical on the kid already.” Commented Kakashi. You gave him a side eye. “Sorry but he just arrived after three years with Jiraya what do you think he will understand if you use big words to him?”

“I’m not stupid”

“He is not stupid” Kakashi turned around when he heard Teuchi and Ayame defending Naruto as well. “The kid just ignores some things.” Carried on the owner of the ramen shop. “I mean a LOT of things but is not his problem. He took after his mother.” You laughed, remembering Kushina being just like him when you first met her. She calmed down a little bit, still being her silly self, now that you were under her care.

Naruto finally dropped the previous conversation, more interested in knowing more about his mother now that the man mentioned her. Sure you had talked to him about his parents but you didn’t know much about them before you became part of their family so while he is intrigued about stories of his young parents from Teuchi you kept an eye on him, smiling at his shiny eyes at the stories he is told.

Once you were done eating Kakashi payed for the three of us and you thanked him for the gesture. Naruto complained, if he knew his sensei would have been the one paying he would have got a second portion to take home for you just to rise the bill a little bit and annoy his sensei.

“You want us to walk you at the gates?” You asked making sure you weren’t too much of a burden for him since he had to be at the gates before sun rise. He “uhmed” in response and you are quite happy that you can spend some more time with him.

“I wouldn’t be too mad at Kakashi if he tried something.” Naruto spoke when he was able to see the gates of Konoha. You and Kakashi stopped in your tracks both looking at him with wide eyes. “I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy I’m okay.” He kissed you goodbye before sprinting away where his friends and team mates for the Sasuke rescue team were waiting for him.

You were left alone with Kakashi next to you, with nothing to say due to Naruto’s confession. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do? You wished Kurenai was there to give you some advice on it but she wasn’t. And even if she was she wouldn’t be much of help because she would be too occupied teasing you.

“So… do I make you happy? Because you sure make me happy.” Kakashi cut the silence and you wished he didn’t, not like that at least.

“You annoy me, that’s different.” You rolled your eyes at him and started walking towards your apartment. It took him some minutes to realize your words and when he does, he runs behind you catching up with you almost immediately him and his stupid long legs.

“Ehy, what do you mean I annoy you? You said you started to like me.”

“Again, it doesn’t mean you don’t annoy me sometimes.” You keep teasing him and he missed the way you smiled at him. And you miss the way he does the same.

It was in front of your porch that he cups your face and looked deep into your eyes before asking permission to kiss you and you gave him the green light to do so. The kiss is gentle, and short lived but you didn’t care. You invite him inside and this time you let him sleep in your bed.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

the diamond

lilac, chapter seventeen

a/n: idk if I should say i'm sorry or you're welcome. i guess it depends on what kind of day you're having as you read this.

summary: “did you really think a little bit of paperwork could stop me? Could stop us from being together?”

warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, dark, angst, lumberjack AU, past domestic violence, crazy ex trope, kidnapping, crying, violence, cliffhanger

word count: 1717

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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You didn’t recognise the opulent apartment you now found yourself in. Not that it really came as a shock. You properly only knew of a fraction of the properties Preston’s family owned. 

With gilded details and tall windows, you did however recognise the view as the familiar twinkle of the New York City skyline sparkled back at you. 

Scarcely breathing, you didn’t dare to even shift as you sat on the edge of a bed, its red silk sheets burned the nerves across your legs and worsened the nauseating sting at the back of your throat. 

Turning back to face you, Preston stepped up close and said, “Let’s get this off of you, shall we?” before he slowly peeled off the tape covering your lips, but as soon as he had rid you of it, you reeled forward slightly and spat directly in his face. The angry dollop slid down across his forehead and over the still freshly pink scar that split his dark eyebrow. But, to your horror, instead of getting angry, all your action did was conjure a dark chuckle deep within his chest, “I missed you too, doll,” you watched him reach up and wipe the saliva away before his fingers drifted down into his pocket and produced a switchblade that he promptly popped out with a flourish. Sucking in a sharp breath, you braced yourself, expecting for him to strike, only he didn’t. The knife instead sliced the tape constricting your ankles and then through the ones at your wrists, “there,” he shot you a bone-chilling smile, “much better.”

Glaring back at him, almost in disbelief at the measures he’d evidently be willing to take, you shuddered, “I-I have a restraining order against you.” 

“You do,” he nodded matter a factly, “why, did you really think a little bit of paperwork could stop me? Could stop us from being together?” your frame jumped jaggedly as you felt his touch slither up your sides, “we’re soulmates, you and I. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can keep us apart,” he breathed as he leaned in closer and pressed his lips to yours. Staying as still as you possibly could, the sting of tears rolled down your cheeks as he soon leaned back, a sour look now tainting his features, “kiss me back,” he growled through gritted teeth, “we haven’t seen each other in two months, so kiss me the fuck back. Show me how much you’ve missed me.”

Choking down a sob, you willed your lips to meet his again, trembling fretfully as you gave him what he wanted, the forceful feeling of his tongue invading your mouth forced a petrified whimper to escape your lungs, one that he mistook as praise as one of his ring adorned hands came up to clasp your jaw possessively. 

When he finally pulled back, leaving just a sliver of air between you, a question left your quivering lips.

“Preston, where are we?”

“Nowhere important,” his dark eyes trailed one of the tears rolling down your face, “don’t worry, this is just temporary till the morning. Gosh, you look so beautiful when you cry…”

“W-what’s happening in the morning? Where are we going?”

“To this little island my dad’s got in the Caribbean. You’ll like it, trust me. It’s got some of the bluest water you’ve ever seen,” he smirked before briefly turning his head to the rough-looking man posted by the door as a guard, “hey, go fetch me a drink.”

“Right away, sir,” he complied. 

As Preston turned his gaze back to you, his head began to shake as it washed down the length of your body, “what is this dress you’re wearing? You know I hate you in green on you.” 

“I-I’m sorry. I could go change if you–” 

But your sentence crumbled into nothing as you felt the cold tip of his knife trail up your leg, “oh, there’s no need for that, doll,” the blade scraped over your skin, up the slit where your wrap dress had parted like a curtain over your thigh, never hard enough to actually draw blood, but just enough to rip up a layer or two of flesh. He continued after he reached the top of your thigh, dragging it up your velvet dress till he slipped it under the knot that held your garment closed, and cut clean through it. The slash didn’t automatically cause the dark green fabric to fall open completely, but Preston didn’t hesitate to unwrap you like a birthday present, “damn..” he groaned as he pushed the dress open, revealing your lack of undergarments beneath, “would you look at that… you’re not wearing anything underneath this… ” you squeezed your eyes shut as he then grazed the tip of his knife over your skin, from the peak of your breast to low down on your stomach, he trailed it like he would his wicked tongue, in some sick and twisted up way caressing you with the weapon, “tell me, doll, just why aren’t you? I’d love to think this is all for me, but you didn’t know we’d be reunited tonight, so who is it for?” rage gradually began to harshen his tone, “who?” as you found yourself unable to form any words at all, “is it that guy? What did you call him… Frank? Have you been whoring yourself out to Frank? Not wearing anything underneath your dresses and making it easy for him to just slide in and use what belongs to me?” nicking the curve of your waist, he then shook you as he barked, “answer me!” successfully drawing a shrill scream from your lungs as you squeezed your eyes shut even tighter. 

Just as you feared he’d give you more than just a shy scratch, the double doors to the bedroom creaked open and in stepped the guard. Without another word, Preston’s presence disappeared. 

Cautiously fluttering your bloodshot eyes open once more, you saw as the guard settled back into his place and Preston clutched a stout crystal glass, hastily downing the dark amber liquid before slamming it onto a side table. Trying your best to cover yourself back up, you watched as Preston folded up the switchblade and stuffed it back into his pocket. 

Letting out a deep sigh, he then dipped his fingers into his dark suit jacket, and from an inner pocket, fished out a small velvet box.

“I got you a new ring, by the way,” he huffed, opening it up as he stepped back to where you sat, “this one’s bigger, like I promised.” 

Sitting down on the crimson sheets beside you, he seized your trembling hand and slid the extravagant band into place, gripping your palm painfully as you glanced down at the massive diamond hauntingly glimmering back at you.

“You like it?” 

The silver felt as if it burned your finger, like it had been dipped in hot searing acid mere seconds before sliding into place over your knuckles. But still, you just offered him a shaky nod as more tears dripped from your chin. 

Lifting your glare from the colossal rock, you looked over at the guard and attempted to subtly catch his eye. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Preston swiftly noticed as his gaze never strayed far from you, “are you really so stupid that you think one of my guys will help you get away from me? Seriously? No amount of crocodile tears can get them to betray me,” locking his fingers around your jaw, you felt his hot breath graze the shell of your ear, “they’re loyal to me, to the Humphrey name,” casting his glace towards the guard, he snapped his free fingers, “hey, you! Look at my fiancé,” and to your horror, parted your ruined dress, “isn’t she beautiful? Answer me.”

“Yes, sir,” his reply had a military, nearly robotic lack of feelings to it, but nevertheless managed to still scratch Preston’s itch.

With his right, inked hand, Preston groped your breast firmly, “these gorgeous tits,” before sliding his unwanted touch further down your trembling body, “this round ass and this tight fucking cunt, all belongs to me,” he growled, before stretching his palm out towards the guard, “give me your lighter,” to which the harsh man swiftly obeyed, “I want everyone to know so, no matter what happens, no matter if you lose your ring again or what, I want everyone to know,” peeling his extravagant pinkie ring off, the swirly H that was embossed on it indicated it was his family ring that he now held in his grasp, harshly commanded the guard, “hold her still,” before he flicked on the lighter and held the flame under the seal, heating it up till the metal nearly glowed. Tuning out your screams of searing agony, Preston pressed the scorching crest to the very top of your exposed thigh and branded you like you were just a stock animal, “there,” he waved a hand for the guard to let go of you, “that should do the trick.” 

As you shuttered in pain, Preston drew you in so close that you ended up in his lap, your spine pressed up against his chest and a horrifying hardness determined beneath your bottom.

“What do you think, doll? Should I let him stand there and watch us fuck?” he rocked selfishly below you, “maybe tonight will be the night I finally knock you up–” 

His vile words were cut short as a series of gunshots suddenly went off on the other side of the door. 

“You,” Preston waved to the guard, “go see what’s going on.”

Pulling out a gun, the man then slipped out only for the symphony of struggle to fill the apartment further. 

“Shit,” you heard Preston mutter in alarm before he conjured his knife once more. 

But when the scuffle abruptly stopped and silence washed over the luxurious apartment, only a moment passed before the grand double doors slammed open and in the threshold, with a gun firmly trained in Preston’s direction, stood the blood-soaked visage of Frank. 

Moving just as fast, Preston shifted behind you, hauling you up to your feet and holding you to him like a shield as you felt the razor-like edge of his blade press against your throat.

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

No I’m sorry Y’all I’m seriously still so fucking pissed off abt this episode, and I have to scream into the digital void about everything wrong with it and how downright mocking it felt or I’m gonna EXPLODE-

FIRST OFF, MY BIGGEST FUCKING ISSUE. Moon, near the end, says that “Bad people are bad people, no matter what dimension it is” or something similar.

HOW THE FUCK DOES SOLAR EXIST THEN, HM?

BECAUSE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, SOLAR STARTED AS “NICE ECLIPSE”, BUT WAIT.. HOW CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE WHEN “BAD PEOPLE STAY BAD, NO MATTER THE DIMENSION”??? CAUSE I’M PRETTY FUCKING SURE ECLIPSE WAS BAD WHEN THAT HAPPENED, AND SOLAR WAS A GOOD VARIANT OF ECLIPSE.

YOUR LOGIC FALLS COMPLETELY, FUCKING, FLAT.

IF SOLAR, A GOOD ECLIPSE CAN EXIST, WHY IS IT SOOOOOO FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE FOR A GOOD BLOODMOON TO EXIST? HM? ANSWER ME THAT, HYPOCRITE.

THE ONLY FUCKING REASON, THEY WERE EVEN CONSIDERED “GOOD”, WAS BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T KILL. SOMETHING THEY ORIGINALLY, HAD TO FUCKING DO OR ELSE THEIR INSATIABLE BLOODLUST, WHICH WAS HARDWIRED INTO THEM, WOULD FORCE THEM TO GO AND KILL BECAUSE IT WAS PAINFUL TO IGNORE IT.

AND DON’T EVEN FUCKING GET ME STARTED ON HOW DISRESPECTFUL THIS FELT TO ANYONE WHO WAS (REASONABLY) PISSED OFF ABOUT HOW BLOODMOON’S CHARACTER WAS HANDLED, AND THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAD AN ATTACHMENT TO HIM???

THIS WAS THE DEFINITION OF “If I give you what you want, will you fuck off?”

THE WRITERS, (probably fucking Davis), JUST TOSSED SOMETHING BLOODMOON RELATED AT THE FANDOM, TO GET US TO STOP CRITICIZING HOW HORRIBLY THEY HANDLED BLOODMOON AS A CHARACTER.

THEY JUST CHUCKED IT AT US, AND BASICALLY SAID; “Fuck off already, look, they can NEVER be actually good, they’ll always be bad, now stop whining”.

WE LITERALLY SAW THAT THEY COULD BE ATLEAST DOCILE-ISH IN A WAY, BACK WHEN THEY VERY BRIEFLY LIVED WITH FOXY AND FC. FOXY THOUGHT OF A WAY TO KEEP THEIR BLOODLUST AT BAY, THEY HAD ENTERTAINMENT IN THE FORM OF THE BOUNCY CHICK, AND THEY ACTUALLY SEEMED KINDA OKAY WITH LIVING THERE.

BUT NOOOOOOOO, THE FUCKING WRITERS GAVE US A GLIMPSE OF WHAT A VAST MAJORITY OF THE FANDOM WANTED, AND IMMEDIATELY RIPPED IT AWAY LIKE 3 OR 2 DAYS LATER BY HAVING THEM BOTH ABRUPTLY GO AFTER FOXY, AND HARVEST GOT FUCKING KILLED.

THEY WERE FUCKING DEPENDENT ON EACHOTHER TO SURVIVE AND FUNCTION, THEY WERE LITERALLY EACHOTHER’S OTHER HALF. WE CAN CLEARLY SEE THIS WHEN BLOODMOON IS STRUGGLING WITH PLANNING AND CALCUTION, BECAUSE THE OTHER TWIN HANDLED IT. THE OTHER TWIN KNEW HOW TO PLAN, AND CALCULATE SHIT FOR THEIR PLANS, THE REMAINING TWIN WAS THE BRAWN, AND THE OTHER WAS THE BRAIN IN SIMPLE TERMS.

AND DOUBLE DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HOW BLOODMOON WAS LITERALLY HARASSED AFTER HIS BROTHER WAS KILLED???

MONTY AND PUPPET, BOTH, FORCED BLOODMOON TO SIT ON THEIR STUPID LITTLE FUCKING PODCAST, AND PROBED HIM WITH ENDLESS QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS BROTHER.

FOR FUCKS SAKE, MONTY’S FIRST WORDS AFTER THE TIMESKIP WERE “How’s it feel bein’ an only sibling?” OR SOMETHING INCREDIBLY SIMILAR, AND YES, I’LL GIVE PUPPET SOME CREDIT, SHE SEEMED A TINY BIT DISAPPOINTED WITH MONTY FOR OPENING WITH THAT, BUT LIKE 5 OR SO MINUTES LATER, SHE WAS PLAYING THE FUCKING DEATH OF BLOODMOON’S BROTHER, ON FUCKING LOOP, AND EXPECTED HIM TO WATCH.

AND THEN THEY HAVE THE GALL TO CALL THEIR COMMUNITY, ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS THEY CAN EVEN HAVE SUCCESS FROM THEIR CHANNELS, CRAZY, FOR THINKING THAT THEY WENT TOO FAR, AND HAVING EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF SYMPATHY OR EMPATHY FOR BLOODMOON.

THEY CLAIM WE’RE INSANE FOR HAVING BASIC HUMAN REACTIONS TO SEEING SOMEONE LOSE A LOVED ONE.

THEY CLAIM WE’RE MENTALLY UNSTABLE FOR SYMPATHIZING WITH THE TWINS AND THEIR TRAUMA, WHICH MIGHT I ADD IS NEVER FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGED??

IF ECLIPSE IS ABLE TO HAVE A REDEMPTION ARC, BECAUSE HE’S “NOT THE SAME PERSON”, AND “A CLONE”, WHY IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE THAT THE TWINS, WHO ALSO WEREN’T THE SAME PEOPLE, AND WERE ALSO CLONES, TO BE EVEN SLIGHTLY REDEEMED??

I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF THEY WERE STILL KILLERS, IT WAS STILL HARDWIRED INTO THEM, IN BOTH ITERATIONS.

I’m not going to touch how predatory Ruin was with them back in October right now, or ever, because I’m honestly appalled that the writers WENT THERE with their script.

Every fucking argument made in this stupid fucking mockery of a video falls flat, and directly conflicts with past fully canon information, and I’m fucking pissed.

on a lighter note, more (JUSTIFIED) complaints about the loan-shark!twins;

OKAY WHY THE FUCK DID THEY SEPARATE THEM INTO “BLOOD” AND “MOON”, COULDN’T THEY HAVE ATLEAST TRIED TO CONNECT WITH THEIR COMMUNITY AND USE ONE OF THE MANY RENAMES WE’VE HAD? BLOODY AND HARVEST, SYTHE AND HATCHET, CRIMSON AND MAROON TO NAME A FEW, BUT “BLOOD” AND “MOON”??? GOD HOW FUCKING DISCONNECTED CAN THEY BE?? THERE’S ALSO ALREADY A MOON THAT EXISTS, SO HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK? HOW CONFUSING DOES IT GET WHEN THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM AND SOMEONE SAYS “MOON”, BUT ONLY MEANS ONE OF THEM???

And then the sheer fact that they were literally traumatized by the thought of drinking blood- like I’m sorry but that is NOT enough to traumatize anyone, unless they have like, a crippling phobia of blood. Hemophobia or something like that I think. And considering they say they “bleed people dry” (financially), I don’t think they have a fear of blood, or they wouldn’t use the saying-

So there ya have it, me, in the dark, at 10:33PM on a Friday night in July, on the 26th, writing a whole ass essay assignment because of how PISSED OFF one single episode made me.

I’m gonna go die now. (For legal reasons I mean go to bed /Gen)

[artists-who-rarely-draws]

Hunt down the good in me.

Garroth version.

This was a request from amaizing fan fic writer @starhvney where the reader is injured taking a blow for Laurance.

G/n Reader

Warning: Gore, nothing too crazy but the reader is injured, and I tell you about it, as well as gore being mentioned with the people who ambushed you. Shadow knight Laurance goes on a rampage, hurt comfort both in the literal and metaphorical sense lmfao.

Tysm for the requests! I am always open for more as long as my inbox is open!

Please enjoy!

You really should have expected it you suppose. The bandits had gotten used to easy life outside the remains of Pheonix Drop, raiding supply carts and merchants on their way to or from the small settlement. Obviously they weren't going to leak new arrivals with much bigger equipment than the rest of the inhabitants arriving out of nowhere, much LESS better equipped people fixing the village walls and gates. You suppose you expected them to be more... subtle... cowardly? In their approach to it. Oh how wrong you were.

Thank Irene Laurance carried his greatsword at all times because the closest thing to a weapon *you* currently had was a pick axe to work on the stone parts of the wall, sure sure it would suck ALOT to catch a pickaxe to the... well, anywhere, but it's nothing compared to an actual intended weapon. Laurance took the lead, telling you to stand back the moment the first bandit stepped out of the trees. And you QUICKLY realized just why Laurance was on the potential Jury of Nine list. But at some point, no matter the skill level, numbers can override it.

About 34 bandits had come out of the forest, a handful of the smart ones fled when they saw Laurances sheer skill with a greatsword. You were no expert but you knew that the great sword was one of the more difficult weapons to wield, it's huge size made it's attacks devastating but it required alot of effort to use it, once you were committed to a swing you were just that, committed using this sword was something you had to put the whole momentum of your body into. Apparently, a bandit had figured that out to, as time seems too slow, you watch a masked bandit dual wielding daggers preparing to strike just as Laurance is trapped in a strike against 3 bandits. You can't let this happen! If Laurance gets heavily injured, then it would be pitifully easy for them to take you out being unarmed and then break in and do who knows what to the village! Well... at least that's what you're going to say when Laurance inevitably chews you out for surging forward. Truth being that that you just... didn't want to see your love get hurt no matter the extent.

You throw yourself between Laurance and the bandits blade, adrenaline running through your system before swinging the pick axe with all your might at the bandits head, having to tense your whole body to keep from a full body recoil at the feelings running through you of it tearing through skin and cracking bone the bandit letting out a gurgling cut off shout.

You honestly don't even feel the dagger enter and lodge into your side, turning your head to the side quickly to find Laurance already staring over his shoulder to you, breath held and eyes wide. You couldn't tell, trapped looking into his eyes as shock turned to a lightless rage, but everyone else had stopped fighting as the forest went *silent* no rustling of leaves or chirping of birds, the only sound now to be heard was a reverberating growl from Laurance. Smoke billowing out of the sides of his mouth as his form starts growing much larger.

His scream tears through the forest as he grows he reaches forward, grabbing the nearest bandit by the head and slaming them on the ground with a sickening crack. Fully Shadow knight as he springs forward blood red sword viciously and furiously putting an end to the bandits. You can hardly take it all in, not only with the speed and complexity of his movements, but the smell of sulfur and second dose of adrenaline that rushed through you when he turned, the responce of a injured prey animal desperately trying to run *just a little more* left you lightheaded. But you ignore it, not only because it would only agitate him further, but also.... it was Laurance, the sweet, kind, and thoughtful man you fell in love with, and you weren't going to let your body convince you he was a threat.

Some bandits had tried to run... they didn't get far. Laurance didn't spare even a single one, the forest around you stained red as far as the eye could see, covered in mangled corpses. Laurance stands over what was once... a bandit. Body eerily still as smoke whisps off of his armor. You want to give him a moment to cool down, literally and metaphorically. But the adrenaline has completely left you, and you are more and more aware of the searing pain in your side. No one tells you how much being stabbed feels like fire.

"L-laurance?" Is all you can hoarsely mutter, blood dribbling from your lips before falling to your knees. The shadow knight wips around red eyes wide "Y/N!" He shouts as if snapped out of a trance he runs sliding to his knees to your side.

"I-its okay, you ok-kay don't talk don't talk, I'm here I have you" he rambles quickly, voice trembling as he babbles out reassurances that seem more for himself than you, as he harshly tears at his cape, pain scorching up your side as he ties it to the dagger securing it to your side. You don't know what comes after this.... but you know that just in case you want...

"Love.. you.." You mummer voice hardly a whisper causing him to jump eyes back to that Marble blue, tears falling down his cheeks quickly.

"I Love you, I love you so fucking much, you have to be fine, your fine. We will say it again tomorrow, okay??" He stammers out, starting to pick you up... but your world goes black.

Everything after is a strange.. choppy blur. Laurance held you close to his chest as he ran to Donna's home. Laurance would shout and fight anytime someone tried to convince him to leave your side. And then... you fully fell unconscious.

There's a dull throbbing throughout your entire body, and you're thirsty. You can barely let out a little groan with how dry your throat is. You scrunch up your face and move to tighten your hands into fists before you prop yourself up, but you end up squeezing the hand in yours.

"Y/N!" Laurance shoots up, holding your hand tightly with both of his. You open your eyes to be met with Laurances wide baby blues, tears fulling his eyes as he quickly leans down to give you a heart achingly tender kiss. Cupping your cheek with one hand, you raise one of your own to do the same, ignoring your protesting muscles.

"Thank Irene" he whispers forehead pressed against your own, his tears fall onto your own cheeks, before you work to brush them away.

He will demand to know what you were thinking later... right now he just wants to bask in *you*.

[slut4msby]

like you love me. oikawa tooru x reader

+ tags & warnings; slight angst, slight fluff

+ a/n; okok so i have had real bad writers block but heres this its alright but kinda rushed also i have been a little obsessed with the seijoh4 atm so expect more seijoh4 writings :3

"Tooru, do you really have to go?" you question, your gaze fixed on the floor. The thought of looking at your now ex-boyfriend pains you deeply. His presence stings, though you understand it wasn't his intention to hurt you. Both of you acknowledge that parting ways is for the best; he's pursuing his dream across the world, and you want nothing more than to be happy for him. Yet, the struggle to find that happiness within yourself is challenging.

"Y/N, please look at me, darling," Tooru pleads, tilting your chin to meet his gaze. "You know how much this hurts me too."

You do know. There's no denying how Oikawa feels right now, the difficulty he is facing. Maybe even more than you. You're aware that he will carry the weight of your heartbreak on his shoulders, blaming himself, even though you understand it's not his fault. He's simply pursuing the path that brings him joy, the one you've always encouraged him to take. You recognize Oikawa's potential for greatness and don't want to stop him.

"Stop looking at me like that," you retort bitterly, avoiding eye contact.

"Like what?" Oikawa inquires.

"Like you love me, Tooru."

The truth stings.

"But I do love you, N/N-chan."

"I don't want you to love me, Tooru. I want you to forget about me entirely. I don't want to be a lingering memory for you. All I'll do is hold you back. Tooru, I know you can achieve so much without me," you declare, your words accompanied by falling tears.

"Y/N," Tooru murmurs, his voice filled with a mixture of pain and longing.

“Bye Tooru.”

That was the last time you had spoken or even seen Tooru in almost ten years. You couldn’t deny you often thought of him. He was the best lover you have ever had. When you heard the news that Oikawa had started playing for the Argentina team, you couldn’t help but smile. Smile at all the things he could achieve without you, like you never happened. That's what you thought at least. However, it was the complete opposite. Tooru could only ever think of you. No matter how many women he dated or slept with he could only ever think of you.

He missed you.

He missed you like crazy, but he knew he couldn’t reach out. In the last five minutes he saw you, you practically told him you want nothing to do with him. Little did he realise that you eagerly waited for any form of contact from him. As time passed, regret overcame you for those words spoken to Tooru that night, playing like a broken record on your mind.

As you walked down the stadium halls, trailing behind Atsumu who was rambling about some nonsense story in preparation for the Japan vs. Argentina match. You walk past the Argentinian team’s locker room. You pause for a moment, as you catch yourself staring blankly at the door. The intensity of your gaze prompted Atsumu to halt mid-story, looking at you with concern.

“You good, N/N?” he asked

You nod, “yeah, let’s just keep going, Atsumu.”

You and Atsumu keep walking down the stadium halls. However, as you both move forward, you can’t shake off the lingering thoughts of the Argentinian team’s locker room and the memories associated with Tooru. 

As you continue navigating the maze of corridors, you spot a familiar figure walking towards you in conversation with another large muscular man. Your heart skips a beat when you realise it’s Tooru Oikawa. Time seems to freeze as you lock eyes with him.

Atsumu notices your change in attitude and follows your guide. His eyes widened in surprise, staring at the renowned setter. “Well if it ain’t Oikawa…” Atsumu mutters under his breath.

Oikawa doesn’t even acknowledge Atsumu as he takes a step forward towards you. “Y/N,” he says, his voice tainted with a mixture of surprise and longing.

You swallow hard, caught between the rush of emotions and the memories flooding back. “Tooru,” you respond, your voice barely above a whisper. The air becomes charged with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. “We were just getting on our way right, Atsumu?”

“Yeah.” Atsumu responded giving 

“Y/N-san, please just give me a minute.” Oikawa pleads.

“Sorry Tooru, we have somewhere to be…” He could tell you wanted to stay, to see him. He could see it in your face, he heard it in the way you spoke. You were still as beautiful as he remembered. He was still as in love with you as his 18 year old self was. Most people his age were having kids, getting married, and settling down. However, Oikawa couldn’t. He was still in love with his high school sweetheart, the woman who didn’t love him back, or so he thought.

The match progresses with both teams fiercely competing on the court. Your attention is divided between the game and the unresolved emotions stirred up by Oikawa's unexpected presence. As you sit on the bench, feverishly writing in your notebook just like you used to during his high school matches, memories flood back, and your heart feels a mix of nostalgia and anxiety.

Meanwhile, Oikawa can't help but steal glances at you from the court. The years have passed, but the feelings are still alive. Next to you sits his best friend, Hajime Iwaizumi, who senses the tension in the air and knows he needs to address the unresolved issues between you and Oikawa.

As the match reaches its climax, and the crowd roars with excitement, Hajime approaches you discreetly. "Hey, Y/N," he says, turning to you.

"What's up?" you ask, looking up from your notebook.

"Can you meet me outside the physio room after the match?" he requests. "I just need help with something."

"Of course, Hajime," you respond, offering a reassuring smile.

The match concludes, leaving the stadium buzzing with energy. You make your way to the agreed-upon meeting spot outside the physio room. As you approach, you don’t find Hajime standing there, rather Oikawa Tooru.

“Oh sorry, I was looking for Iwaizumi-san…” You mutter. Your gaze falling to the floor similar to the last conversation the two of you held.

“Oh uhm, me too…” Oikawa says nervously, an arm awkwardly scratching his neck. 

“You played well, Oikawa-san.” You plainly state, attempting to ease the discomfort.

"Oikawa-san?" he questions, a hint of hurt in his expression. The formality stings, a stark contrast to the intimacy you once shared.

"I just thought..." you begin, hesitating for a moment. "Things have changed, Tooru. We both have."

“I still love you Y/N-” Tooru blurts out. Immediately turning red. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “I-I didn’t mean to say that.”

Silence.

“I know you said you didn’t want me to love you, and you wanted me to forget and you and tha-” 

Tooru’s speech was cut off by your lips meeting his. The unexpected moment left him confused, but within seconds, the initial confusion turned into a reciprocated kiss. The kiss was filled with a range of emotions. The kiss was like an unspoken language that conveyed the complexity of your shared history and the unresolved feelings lingering between you.

“I love you too, Tooru. And I regret every one of those words that came out of my mouth. I haven’t stopped thinking of you, Tooru. no matter who I tried to replace you with, no one was you, Tooru.”

“Stop looking at me like that.” He giggled.

“Like what, I’m being sincere here!”

“Like you love me, darling~.” He teased as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Touché, Tooru. Touché.”

©slut4msby.