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Here Are New Updated IRCC Processing Times As Of February 7
This article enlists new official IRCC processing times updated on February 7, 2023 as well as comparison with processing times of last week. In 2022, the IRCC processing tool was modified to deliver precise data on typical processing times. These processing timelines are given to provide applicants for visas or immigration to Canada an idea of how long their application may take for a decision…
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visas-connect · 1 year
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Title: Understanding the Timeline: Receiving an Invitation from Express Entry after Applying for a Provincial Nomination
Introduction: The Express Entry system has become a popular pathway for skilled workers to obtain permanent residence in Canada. If you are considering applying for a provincial nomination through Express Entry, it's essential to understand the timeline involved in receiving an invitation. In this blog, we will explore the factors that affect the processing time and provide you with insights to manage your expectations.
Factors Affecting the Processing Time:
Province or Territory: The processing time for provincial nominations can vary depending on the province or territory. Each region has its own administrative procedures and resources, which can influence the speed at which they process nominations. For example, British Columbia is known for its relatively shorter processing times compared to other provinces like Ontario.
Demand for Skilled Workers: The demand for skilled workers in a particular province or territory also impacts the processing time. If a region is experiencing a high demand for skilled professionals in specific occupations, the processing of nominations in that area may be expedited. Conversely, if the demand is lower, it may take longer to receive an invitation.
Express Entry Profile Score: Your Express Entry profile score plays a significant role in determining the likelihood and speed of receiving an invitation. A higher profile score indicates a stronger match with the Comprehensive Ranking System (CRS) requirements, increasing your chances of receiving an invitation sooner. It's crucial to continuously improve your profile score by enhancing factors such as language proficiency, education, work experience, and additional qualifications.
Managing Your Expectations: While we provide general information on processing times, it's important to note that individual cases can vary. The actual processing time depends on a variety of circumstances unique to your situation. However, here are some practical steps to help you manage your expectations:
Stay Informed: Regularly check the official websites of the province or territory that nominated you for any updates on processing times. These platforms usually provide estimated processing times and relevant information to keep you informed.
Be Patient: The processing time for nominations can range from a few weeks to several months. Patience is key during this period. Avoid unnecessary stress by acknowledging that the process takes time, and factors beyond your control can affect the timeline.
Monitor Express Entry System: Keep a close eye on the Express Entry system to check for any updates regarding your invitation. The system will notify you if you have been invited to apply for permanent residence. Stay proactive and ensure you have provided accurate and up-to-date information in your Express Entry profile.
Conclusion: Receiving an invitation from Express Entry after applying for a provincial nomination requires understanding the factors that influence the processing time. Factors such as the province or territory, demand for skilled workers, and your Express Entry profile score all play a role. By staying informed, managing expectations, and remaining patient, you can navigate through the process more effectively.
Remember, each case is unique, and there are no guarantees regarding specific timelines. If you have concerns or require further clarification, consider consulting with immigration professionals who can provide personalised advice based on your circumstances. Good luck with your Express Entry journey towards Canadian permanent residence! Read More
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expresswayimmigration · 10 months
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Canada PR Categories for Skilled Immigrants
Skilled Immigration to Canada Canada PR Categories for Skilled Immigrants: Many foreign skilled workers are moving to Canada worldwide for better employment opportunities and quality of life. These individuals help flourish the Canadian economy. Thus Canada welcomes thousands of skilled immigrants each year. Most of these immigrants immigrate to Canada through one of the following Canadian…
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reliablevisas01 · 11 months
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reliablevisblog · 1 year
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apas-95 · 6 months
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Did you know that NASA engineers considered the failure rate of some critical shuttle parts to be about 1 in 100 (significantly greater than what NASA upper-management considered the failure rate to be, and what was considered at all acceptable by the certification process)?
Do you know that NASA engineers currently have no idea how many rocket launches the next mission in the Artemis program (in 2 years!) is meant to involve, because the mission plan relies on SpaceX being contracted to deliver a supply of cryogenic fuel to the crewed Orion (™ Lockheed-Martin) capsule in orbit - a procedure that 1: has never been attempted before on any spacecraft, let alone the Orion™ capsule, not even in uncrewed technology demonstration flights; and 2: would require an as-of-yet unknown number of SpaceX 'Starship' launches, because said vehicle does not actually exist at time of writing?
Did you know they're planning on using this 'starship' as the crewed lander? A design for a lunar ascent vehicle, that is, that does not use hypergolic fuel, that relies on a swing-out crane as the only entry and egress point? During the original moon landings, the LEM had so many redundant methods to make sure it got astronauts off the surface of the moon, that in the most absurd, extreme case, where every single mechanism fails, there's a procedure trained into the astronauts to climb around the outside of the capsule, take a pair of bolt-cutters from the equipment box, physically cut the couplings holding the capsule to the lander stage, and take off to get home. Artemis' proposed lander, on the other hand, is planned to be a vehicle whose design didn't even include heatshields until it was realised it would obviously need heatshields, which are ceramic tiles bolted after-the-fact directly through the steel hull, because SpaceX had decided to mass-produce the original-design hull sections all at once for all the 'starships' first, before doing any integrated testing.
We're seeing the exact attitude that led to the shuttle disasters not being prevented now expressing itself in (and even through) the Artemis program, a project pushed harder and faster through the gates than it should be, by a government (and NASA administration thereby) desperate to advance the eponymous Artemis Accords (that goes unsigned by China, Russia, and much of the world) and reneg on all previous space charters that onsidered ownership, commercial exploitation, and military usage of space forbidden. Something bad is going to happen, and it's going to happen for the sake of SpaceX and the military-industrial complex at large.
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dmitriene · 8 months
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THOUGHTS ABOUT SIMON NOT SHYING TO SHOW YOU OFF.
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cw: fluff, comfort, nsfw, smut, established relationship, brief mentions of simons past, possesive behavior, mentions of another task force characters, kisses, pet names, public sex, passionate sex, unprotected p in v, marking, creampie pairing: bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader
 ✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴. 𝘢𝘰3. ˑ༄
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you and simon have been in a relationship for a relatively long time so that the man behind the balaclava of the skull and the nickname of the ghost, a man whose hands are stained with blood up to the elbows and dark circles have sunk under the dark pools of his eyes has become more than his dark image, his past, blossoming with your help.
his soul was no longer tormented by memories flashing like annoying flies and sleepless nights, cursed by the three cursed obscenity under his breath when he looked at the white shabby ceiling, now he fell asleep under the softness of your body near his chest, watching your chest heave and eyelashes flutter, soft sighs slide from your lips, now he was no longer tormented by memories, now he no longer was faced by faceless corpses.
if he could put all his gratitude into his words, he would not be silent for a minute, but instead of words, his eyes and actions spoke, warm brown ones always secretly accompanied you and stuck to your back until the moment you disappeared from his field of vision, calloused hands carefully held yours or lay with a landing weight on the very bottom of your back, he accompanied you, drove you, saw you off, and perhaps very rarely expressed his affection verbally, but when a languid baritone sounded like lightning through the sky in three words over your ear — «i love you», you knew that he was attached to you.
therefore, simon was not afraid to show you as his most precious treasure to everyone around him, he was not afraid to hold your hand, intertwining his fingers almost in a knot, he was not afraid to kiss you in public, raising his mask only to his nose and maybe covering the two of you with his palm, muffling your meek protests with a brief but deep kiss, licking your bottom lip hot and wet, searching for an entry, before pulling back and straightening himself out, narrowing his eyes in a smile at your embarrassment and slight frown in your brows.
from time to time you could catch him openly praising you, be it within the walls of your house, where he would stand in the aisle to the room or sit on the bed while you were changing clothes, endlessly repeating in a grump, but truly loving manner that — «you're so beautiful like that, fuck, my gorgeous love», or in public, sitting in a bar with his comrades from the task force, to whom he had no problem showing you off, trusting them like family, trusting them with you, almost all the time watching you sit and communicate with them, giggling, forcing him at a certain moment to squeeze your cheeks and lean over to kiss you, causing you to squeak in dismay, squeezing his shirt on his chest into fists while he released your lips with wet pop, noticing out of the corner of his eye how some of the boys were embarrassed by such a display of intimacy, but this didn't stop him from purring — «sorry, you just so lovely while giggling all like that, doll»
and he, as if unexpectedly, had no problem letting the others hear how lucky he was, taking you away from the table in the process, only humming at your giggling and slightly interested — «where are we going, simon? baby?? are we going home?» which he may have been rude, but ignored, and the rest of the task force either guessed or simply got away with it, but one way or another you find yourself in a narrow hallway on the way to the toilets, pressed against the wall in a darkened corner, when his lips press against yours with heat and wetness, licking into your mouth.
he only brought you two here because he couldn’t contain his arousal while looking at you, relaxed, cheerful, and yet incredibly beautiful — and he would have been glad to let you talk to his mates longer, but he simply couldn’t stop himself from pinning you against the wall, pulling his hands under your cute, loose dress that you wore especially for this meeting, and running his thick fingers along the edges of your panties and right along your clothed slit, pressing teasingly before starting to gradually lower them, making you let an impatient, albeit an embarrassed whine — «si.. there's people..»
simon just grunts as always, taking a moment to lower your slightly drenched panties, his touch gentle, always so, but yet impatient.
he then swiftly unzips his pants, his cock springing free from the confines of his boxers, throbbing, meaty length with dark red tip that leaks precum and gets him all wet and sticky as he pumps himself couple of times, guiding himself between your slightly parted legs, teasing your slick slit and lightly brushing against your clenched cunt, eliciting a moan from you, sweet, shyly and almost chocked from embarrassment sound.
pressing his broad chest against your back, he pins you against the cold wall of small hallway corner, his body heat radiating against your skin as anticipation hangs heavy in the air as he positions himself, ready to stuff himself full in your wet heat, resting his head on your frail shoulder and muttering in your ear, deeply, as if growling, holding all his pent up arousal so as not to overwhelm you and peppering the side of your face — «s'pretty, just.. gonna be real quick, lovie, couldn't help myself»
unable to refuse, you silently arch, ducking your head slightly under your arm that are braced on the wall, when simon nothing but growls appreciatively at the sight of your plush ass pressed against his pubic bone and arch of your spine, his desire intensifying.
thick, warm palm squeezes your butt with his free hand, relishing in the softness and warmth beneath his touch, albeit possessively, letting his fingers sink into the warm skin and leave scarlet imprints from the touch.
with a firm grip, he pulls your asscheek slightly, allowing him to guide his throbbing cock inside your cunt, your folds flutter around him as he eases inch by inch, giving you time to adjust to the slight stretch.
he can feel his bulbous head leaking, the slickness making it easier for him to slide into you until he is fully buried inside your warm depths, bottoming out fully till he's balls deep, you squeeze and clench around him till your hole relaxes and he can move a tad bit, looking behind his shoulder just to see the dim lit bar hallway still missing of people, and it gives him more openness to action without the fear of you being uncomfortable.
and you don’t even feel it no more when simon starts with a few slow, testing thrusts, his hands resting on top of yours on the wall, he squeezes your hands gently, intertwining his fingers with yours, providing a comforting touch amidst the growing intensity and strokes your knuckles, his lips leaving quick kisses on your cheek and the sides of your face, distracting you from the increasing speed of his thrusts.
his hips roll and snap, driving his thick cock deeper with each movement, the strain of pleasure causes moans to escape your lips, muffled by the fear that someone going to hear you both, or he's friends that will try to find you, but still, unable to muffle them fully.
your eyes roll back in pleasure, losing yourself to the sensations coursing through your body, your cunt clenches around him, coating his thick cock in slickness, heightening the friction and pleasure for both of you as he thrust deeper, brushing against your spongy spots and finally finding the right place, hitting rapidly.
he knows this place inside you better than you yourself, thrusting his dick rapidly with just the right amount of force, the pleasure is overwhelming, causing your legs to tremble beneath you, knees buckling as if branches.
simon grunts right below your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin, as he presses you further into the wall, his bulky form squishing against your body, creating an intimate shield, he can let people hear, but not look at how you melt against him and become a beautiful, fucking pretty mess, it's just for his eyes.
his balls slap against the swell of your ass with each powerful thrust, the sound echoing in the room, as his hands squeezes yours tightly, ensuring you have no way to muffle the throaty mewls that escape your lips, full of desperate mewls of his name and unintelligible babbling — «si! si-simon, yes, s-s' deep! hmnn!» the sounds of your pleasure reverberate, unabashedly reaching the ears of anyone passing by, leaving no doubt to the passionate encounter taking place between you in this small, narrow corner.
simon's ears perk up as he hears your desperate babbles, and it's only serves to fuel his desire, and he growls in response — «f-fuck.., what ya doing to me, doll» and increasing the pace of his thrusts.
he presses his face into your neck, kissing softly and moving against your skin with his teeth, scratching, alternating between gentle bites and leaving marks in the form of hickeys, let them bloom on your skin like pinkish purple flowers, the one's he's happy to pepper your flesh with.
his hips snap against your ass with greater force, his cock driving deeper in your slickness and hitting your g-spot with each powerful thrust, simon shows no signs of slowing down, his determination evident as he continues to ravish you from the inside, each vein on his shaft rub against your gummy walls, fucking your brains out.
your grumbles and throaty moans intensify, fueling his hunger even more, as well when you arch deeper, pressing yourself against his fast and desperate thrusts, seeking even greater pleasure, the sound of your voice and the way you respond to him cause his cock to throb, aching for release, leaking without stopping as his head plunge against your spongy spot, aching to fill you, as he relishes in your clenching and spasming.
as his cock continues to leak inside you, the slickness adding to the intensity of your pleasure, he relentlessly hits all the soft spots inside you, not giving you a moment to catch your breath, knocking it from your lungs, rhe burning sensation in his hips matches the sensation in your ass from his forceful snaps, heightening the pleasure for both of you.
as you feel the familiar, lava hot feeling in your lower stomach coiling tighter with each passing minute, simon senses that he's reaching his own limit as well, he buries his face in your shoulder, not letting himself kiss you, allowing you to sob against the wall from the overwhelming ecstasy, as your body shudders uncontrollably, pressing against him tighter as you struggle to find any relief from the impending climax that looms just here.
simon is completely lost in his own primal desires, fucking into you with relentless fervor, he shushes your babbled mewls, with lazy kisses on your chin, trying to provide some comfort amidst the overwhelming pleasure, as your words die on your heavy tongue and everything you let out is just — «close, i'm close, simon, hhmn, ah, yes!» as you press against his body, taking every harsh thrust with a mix of pleasure and pain.
your walls and folds spasm and clamp around his slick cock, signaling your impending climax, and then it hits you like a tidal wave.
your face lowers, your eyes rolling back until all you see is darkness, your body goes limp, shuddering uncontrollably as your cunt pulses and releases slick and cum, coating his shaft in your essence, letting it drip from your puffy lips and make a mess.
meanwhile, simon's tip curls and bumps against your g-spot more slowly and smoothly, prolonging his own pleasure, he throbs inside you, releasing warm, thick milky cum, painting your insides with his potent seed, filling you just as nice while panting in your ear and pepper you with soft kisses, finally releasing one of his hands to touch your chin, tipping it as you lift your head dazedly, letting him kiss your lips tenderly, murmuring gently — «thank you darling, did so good, such a good girl, just take it, yeah? t-take it» as he pump his cum in you.
he clearly ensures that his cum is thoroughly buried in your loose, wet hole before easing himself out with a quiet, slick noise, simon looks down at the white ring on the base of his shaft and the sticky mess that now coats your cunny, his eyes heavy lidded with satisfaction.
a deep, contented growl rumbles in his chest as he observes how his seed slightly seeps from your throbbing cunt, trailing along your thighs and dripping onto your panties, so he gathers some of the cum with his fingers, rubbing it against your sensitive folds, stuffing it back inside you, eliciting sobs from you as you remain too sensitive from the intense pleasure.
— «i know, love, i know, took it so good, just relax» he coos softly, his voice filled with a mixture of tenderness and dominance, as he fumbles with his pants and boxers, quickly hiding his now soft cock back inside his pants.
with a nonchalant disregard for the wet mess, he puts your panties back on you, not minding the mixture of his cum and your slickness that clings to the fabric, before spinning you around gently and picking you up in his arms, letting your limp legs wrap around his waist as he helped you, holding gently with one arm, while he adjusted the hem of your dress into place with other, hiding everything intimate from prying eyes, at lough not from everyone.
as soon as he turns and begins to carry you back towards the very inside of the bar, away from the dark corner, he bewitches around the corner and meets a well familiar scott, johnny, taking in a familiar dark mop of hair, arranged in mohawk, blue eyes that look with a certain taken aback when he immediately breaks through the silence in his usual barely intelligible speech — «eh, here you are, everyone was worried where you two been» but immediately shuts up when he takes in a situation better.
johnny is not stupid, he perfectly notices such details as the slight liddenes in brown eyes and your absolutely fatigued figure, which led you to bury yourself in simon's shoulder, almost sleepily, and he catches a glimpse of the bite marks and hickeys on your skin, simon's carelessly buttoned pants and your slightly wrinkled dress, causing his lips to break into a grin, and his eyes squint slyly, understandingly, and simon already feels where this will lead to.
but instead of further words, johnny pats him on his free shoulder, a little weaker than usual, out of sincere concern not to disturb you, before looking over his shoulder at the rest of the boys, to their table in a quieter corner, before looking back at simon, tilting his head, and pronouncing with slight humor, but no less valuable for this — «alright, i see, away with ye, take the bonnie home, i'll tell the boys that you two had to go, it was nice to see ya that happy around her»
simon's eyes flutter with clear respect, a fragile tenderness for a person who seems to be lending him a helping hand, albeit in such a small way, before he nods and they shake hands hastily, rather rudely, after which johnny leaves back to the table, and he, kissing the top of your head gently, gently strokes the curve of your back and whispers — «let's get back home, yeah, sweetheart?»
and you can only nod weakly, burying yourself in his shoulder more actively, before allowing him to take everything into his own hands and, squeezing you more possessively, head towards the exit.
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neoneun-au · 2 months
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THE MIRROR-BLUE NIGHT; ACT I
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―PAIRING: joshua hong x fem!reader ―GENRE: SLOW burn, affair au, suggestive, angst, romance ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 11.2k ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: mild language, very minimal josh in this chapter (sorry), death mentions, cheating, lots of introspection ―STATUS: ongoing
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―AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is act i to my entry for svthub's world tour collab. it's heavily inspired by wong kar wai's film 'in the mood for love', and it's been fun to play around with a totally different atmosphere and setting, and i hope everyone that reads this enjoys it! if you do, please consider reblogging with your thoughts and comments i would love to hear them. hopefully before long i will have the following two acts out for you to continue <3
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ACT I
. . .
It’s raining. You hear the patter of droplets as they fall against your windows, a symphony of sorrows cascading from gray skies. When you were a child your mother used to tell you that the rain meant the heavens were crying. That some angel high above was weeping for the sorrow of those below–for the tragedy of humankind. She made up a lot of lies when you were young, stories to either make you feel better or to just force you to stop asking her questions while she was trying to watch her favourite shows. 
It never worked, and you never believed her. 
It was raining, too,  on the day that you cremated her. A near torrential downpour that had washed out the roads on your way to the funeral home and caused a four car pile up on the on ramp. You made it, breathless and haggard, just in time to drip your way through the procession to the front of the church pews where you sat, cloaked in the black of mourning, to watch a small line of people espouse pretty stories and prettier lies about the woman who raised you. 
Were you sad about her death? Of course you were. Death was always sad, in some deeply philosophical and uniquely human way. The ending of all things–life moving onwards to something better (or worse). Leaving everyone else behind to deal with the sorrow and suffering and debt. You could feel her death around you everywhere you went. The last breath of her life sighing over you on windy streets, the final whisper of her words in the chattering of birds in the morning dew. She was omnipresent. Oppressive. Somehow even more than she had been when she was alive. A heavy shroud over your every move. 
You were sad about her death, but you did not feel the pang of it in your heart as you might have if she had been anyone else. Instead it was abstract–elusive. A fleeting thought that followed you throughout the day. A thought that you were sure would dissipate over time. Molecule by molecule as her soul moved on from this world it would dissolve and you would finally be left standing in a life of your own making, no longer bent to the will of the woman who molded you to fit neatly into her own life. Her death was sad but it also finally opened you up the hope for freedom. 
When it was your turn to speak, after the mass had ended and the few other speakers had said their peace with your mother overseeing from inside her casket, you hesitated. Standing in front of the crowd of people that had managed to crawl their way through traffic for the promise of a free lunch and a voyeuristic look at the poor, bereft daughter left to deal with this whole mess. The only remaining relative of this woman that had made everyone’s life around her a living hell. You stared out at their faces, blank with waiting, and expected the words you had prepared to come out as you had rehearsed. None ever did. You stood silent under the scrutiny of a hundred eyes and seconds ticked by into minutes as the blank expressions morphed into confusion or pity. Even your husband’s carefully neutral expression devolved into one of concern as he stared up at you from his seat. 
Thunder clapped outside the church, the rain picked up speed, buffeting the stained glass windows in its fury, and you thought that maybe your mother hadn’t been lying to you when you were a child. Maybe it was her fury that was clinging to your clothing–soaking you to the bone. 
You left the altar without a word–just one apologetic glance cast over the audience of mourners–and sat back down next to your husband. Head held high against the brewing storm. You realised finally that you had nothing to say. 
For your husband’s part, he played it well at the time. His silent hand found yours and gripped it tight as you both kept your gazes focused on the priest as he tried his best to stitch the proceedings back together after the abandoned eulogy. He kept your hand in his throughout the rest of the funeral–from the end of the mass, through the reception, and all the way to the committal he was there with you. The anchor at your side. 
When had he stopped? 
When had he stopped being there–holding your hand, playing his part as your partner through it all on this grand stage of life. When had he decided he no longer wanted to be that? 
You watch a rivulet of rain carve a line through the reflection of your face, splitting you in two as you stare out through the window in your living room and into the neon darkness of the city surrounding you. Who were the heavens sad for tonight? 
For your own part, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel much sadness. Only a hollow aching at the pit of your stomach, like a hunger long ignored. Gnawing at your insides as you stare out into some unfixed point on the horizon and wait for your husband to return home. Late, again. Always late these days. Always some excuse or another. Traffic, work, friends wanting to grab drinks, errands to run. Tonight though, perhaps, the excuse would be the rain. 
With a sigh you abandon your post at the window, floating through the apartment by the dim light of the city pouring inside. No reason to turn the lights on inside–you knew your way around. The remnants of your dinner sit undisturbed on the kitchen counter, steam long since evaporated, as they wait for a mouth to enter, a stomach to fill. You had lost your appetite when you received the text message. 
You knew it was coming, had known for months. At first it was easy to trick yourself into believing that nothing had changed at all. Everything was normal. These excuses were all truths and you were in fact in the wrong for not believing your husband when he told you. After a time this denial stopped working, however, and you moved on to believing that the changes were only superficial–temporary–that the fissure that had opened up in your marriage was not a yawning pit preparing to engulf you but an easily repairable crack in the foundation. Before long he would return to you as a ship to the shore. He would pour out his feelings and you would mend them easily, with tears of your own. Your relationship would grow in strength for enduring this storm and all would be well again. 
As the days and months dragged on, though, it grew harder to ignore the signs. You had seen them so many times before–on television, in film, in friends’ relationships, in your own parents’ marriage before it fell apart when you were 9. 
A whiff of an unfamiliar perfume in the air, breezing behind your husband as he enters the apartment after work–orange blossom, ginger, patchouli and jasmine. Cloying and heady. A scent of seduction and sex in the wake of a man that hadn’t touched you in days. He waited to kiss you hello now, waited until he had changed out of his clothes, maybe until after he had a shower. You would sit, perched on the arm of the couch, and stare out the window of your living room while he scrubbed the scent of another woman off of his skin. 
More evidence collected over the next few months. Pastel purple and blue splotches dotting the nape of his neck–just above the birthmark you used to trace over with a loving fingertip in the early days of your marriage. Lipstick stains faded on the white collar of a shirt–brick red, a shade that never painted your own lips. He was getting careless–bold. And you continued to observe without a word. Maintaining the calm on the surface of your life, letting the stains and perfume to sink deep underneath. 
Maybe you should have confronted him early on, when the days were still young and you still had lingering affection for this man that was becoming a stranger to you. You should have yelled, screamed, fought, let your tears flow freely in a torrent of anger and betrayal. Every rational thought in your mind was screaming out for you to face him down and do something. You would work yourself into a fury of anger and anxiety waiting for him to come home but the second he stepped across the threshold of your apartment, all of it dissolved. Melted away into nothingness and left only that old, hollow ache until that was all you had left inside.
You remember how your mother had reacted when she found out about your dad’s affair. The consequences were swift and brutal–a storm of emotions and rage bursting out and swallowing everyone in its vicinity. If rain was sadness, surely her rage had been a tsunami. Your dad left and you retreated–into your room, into yourself. Left alone to rebuild in the wake of this natural disaster. 
When you got married your mother warned you–warned you of your duties as a wife. To keep him happy, keep him home, and remember that marriage is work. Life was so hard after your father abandoned us, she would say, don’t let the same happen to you. She would sermonize his weakness and cruelty, and you would listen. But you loved your father, in spite of all his flaws and humanity. He was kind and soft-hearted and you never blamed him for what happened, how could it all have been his fault? This one man that bought you ice cream and tanghulu and took you shopping for school uniforms up until he died? No. You blamed your mother.
What would she say to you now, sitting alone in the dark staring at a photo of your husband with his arm slung casually over the shoulders of another woman, her head resting against him with a soft smile on her face. Pathetic, spineless child. 
You shrug off the ghost of your mother and focus back on the picture. They were in a restaurant, tucked into a corner booth. The low lighting cast soft shadows over their faces, obscuring the details of their features, but there was no doubt in your mind that  it was him.  It was the same slope of brow and cheek that you have run your fingers over so many times before. The same slight upturn in the corners of the mouth that you fell in love with. The glimmer of mischief and daring that so easily drew you in when you first started dating, now turned towards someone else. A stranger? You were sure you didn’t know her but there was something familiar about her in the photo, something about her profile that tugged at the recesses of your recollection. 
Your imagination has been running frantic circles in your mind since you opened the message. Where had he met her? Work? He wasn’t a part of any clubs, didn’t play mahjong on the weekends with friends, hadn’t been selected for any work trips where he might have brushed elbows with her in a conference. Might have snuck into each other's hotel rooms, followed each other onto the plane. She could have been a stewardess–as alluring as they are professional. An untouchable creature bending to your every whim and all you can do is look and hope and wish. Slip her your number as you disembark, pray she deems you worthy enough to contact. 
But he hadn’t been out of the city in at least a year. So that couldn’t be it. 
Maybe she had a more humble occupation. She worked at the hot pot restaurant his company frequented after work. That was how you had met so is it so out of the realm of possibilities that lightning might strike twice? 
Maybe he had always known her. Maybe you were the other woman–some twist of fate had led him to marrying you instead of his highschool sweetheart. A girl that had occupied his mind for longer than you had known him. Maybe she had traveled after graduation–moved to the US and taken his heart with her while he pined away and finally, losing all hope, he settled for the strange girl with the zealot of a mother. Turned you into a project to fill his loneliness and occupy his thoughts until she returned and he was reminded of all the things that she had been for him that you never could. 
Maybe. 
Or maybe she was just a whore. 
Your thoughts flitter back and forth; all possibilities confronting you at once, neon red  in alarm. You watch taxis and motorbikes speed through traffic on the rain soaked street 15 stories below your apartment–each one weaving a new thread of anxiety in your mind as you wait for one to stop in front of your building. Wait for your husband to emerge, shielding himself from the rain and rushing to get inside before his white-collared shirt is soaked through with the sins of his flesh. 
He arrives shortly after you give up waiting and prepare for bed. The rain has begun to let up and with it he steps through the front door of your apartment while you sit perched on the edge of your bed, running a hand over the embroidered silk duvet coverlet you had received as a wedding present. You listen as he drops his keys, briefcase, coat onto the kitchen counter. Focus on the sound of his footfall as he  walks through the short hallway to the bathroom. He doesn’t see you sitting in the dark, doesn’t seek you out to greet you. You watch as he flicks the light on to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. The sound of the shower running follows a few moments afterwards. 
You brace yourself when he enters the dark bedroom after washing himself free of the day. Body tense as he slips under the blanket beside you. The anticipation of something, anything, stiffens in your muscles and you wait for him to say something, to give you some explanation for his whereabouts. Nothing comes. He, believing you to be asleep, slips too into the arms of the night and you’re left alone–staring blankly into the dark of the room before you give into the heaviness of your eyes. 
Morning dawns, grey and overcast. You’re alone again, your husband having left for work with the tin of leftovers you had pre-packed for him, and the day stretches out in front of you–long and lonely–as you shove all thoughts of last night to the back of your mind and turn your attention to the household tasks that require it. 
The fluorescent lights of the supermarket buzz overhead as you make your way through the aisles with a basket hanging on your arm. You know what you’re getting–you’ve rotated through the same small selection of meals since you were 11 years old and started cooking for yourself–but you take your time anyway. Wandering through the rows of produce, fish, and imported goods. Enjoying the distant company of strangers, their idle chatter and routine conversations are a welcome reprieve from the oppressive silence that has dominated your apartment over the past few months. 
You drift to the fruits, letting their bright colours draw you in, and reach for a melon. It’s heavy in the hand, weighed down with the density of the flesh inside. It would be delicious–perfectly ripe, bursting with flavour and juice–you could almost salivate at the thought of slicing into it, bringing a cube of its sweetness to the tip of your tongue. You haven’t had it in ages. Your husband was not fond of fruits–he never had been. Always preferred spice and heat over sweetness, and you were more than happy to accommodate–to oblige his tastes and sacrifice your own for the sake of love. But now? 
The melon stares up at you in askance and you set it back on the stand with its brethren before you can give the temptation a second thought. As soon as you do, a hand reaches out to grab it, neatly manicured fingers wrapping around the fruit still warm from your touch. You smell her perfume before you see her face–that aroma of orange blossom, patchouli,  and jasmine (with a hint of ginger) cutting through the air of the supermarket like a knife through fruit. It’s even more overwhelming first hand. You turn your head, catching a glimpse of her face, her bright red lips, before she turns away and clacks towards the green wall of vegetables. 
You follow transfixed behind her as she weaves her way through the market, picking up an array of items as she goes. Mindlessly you fill your basket behind her, hands reaching out for whatever as you try to disguise your objective. You had only seen one blurry photo of her, clandestinely snapped with her head buried in the crook of your husband’s arm, but you would know her anywhere. In fact you did know her. Not by name, you had never been introduced, but you recognize her instantly now in the bright noonday lights of the shop. 
She lives in your building, a few floors up, you were sure of it. You had run into her in the elevator a few times, never exchanging a word, but always evaluating each other with that cold calculation of strangers destined to become rivals. Not that you knew that at the time. She had a husband. A man with kind eyes and a kind smile. You weren’t sure if it made you feel better or worse to know that you weren't alone in your suffering, that someone else was tied to the other end of this red string that entangled the four of you in its noose-tight vice. 
Does she recognize me? you wonder as you get in line a few people behind her at the register. Your eyes remain fixed on the back of her head while she pays and you tap your foot in anxious impatience as her form disappears through the doors and you’re left waiting for the elderly woman in front of you to deal out her entire coin purse to the cashier for spring onions and flour.
Finally you step out into the streets, bag of assorted groceries clutched tight in your fist, and you whip your head around to try to locate her. It doesn’t take long–she’s a flash of red in a sea of black–and you hasten your stride to catch up with her as she rounds the corner towards your apartment building, taking care to maintain a neutral expression. You trail her over the few blocks it takes to get back home, pulse quickening whenever her step halts–paralysed with the fear that she may turn around and realise what you’re doing. 
Does she  know who you are? Aa a neighbour, maybe, but as the wife of the man she’s having an affair with? Has he told her about you, have they shared jokes in confidence at your expense? Or are you some shameful secret he has kept hidden in his coat pocket. Maybe he slips his wedding band off before each meeting, spinning it around his finger thrice before tucking it out of sight, alongside his conscience. Does he know about her husband? Does her husband know about him the way you know about her? Were the same thoughts turning over in his mind as he sat at his desk at work, staring idly at their wedding photo? 
You follow her, a few paces behind, through the lobby of your shared building. Part of you–a bold, reckless part–wants to slip into the elevator with her, just before the doors can slide closed. Meet her face to face. Confront her and lay bare your knowledge of her discretion. Maybe she would cry, maybe she would yell, maybe she would laugh. Not one of the scenarios you envision ends with you triumphant, in each one your husband’s arms reach forth to comfort her and leave you standing alone, consumed with the red hot fires of rage and seething hate. 
You push that part of you away, back into the shadows, and watch as  she gets into the elevator. The numbers on the display above the doors climb higher and higher as she ascends and you hold your breath, waiting for them to halt. 22. Higher up than your own, more expensive. So it wasn’t money that had drawn her to your husband. You jam your finger against the button, calling the lift back down and wrestling between going home with this new knowledge or feeding into your curiosity and following her up to her door. Would you know the right one if you saw it? 
You press both floor numbers when you finally climb into the elevator, staring at the illuminated buttons as you slowly ascend. You stand still, staring at number 22, and wait as you move up and up–torn between the two options you’ve given to yourself. The doors finally slide open to reveal your floor, 15, and you stare out into the empty hallway, waiting for some unseen force to push you out of the lift. To make up your mind for you. Nothing does, and you just stand silent and still, frozen in time until they slide closed once more and you’re left looking blankly at your own twisted expression in the stainless steel. You keep eye contact with the twisted version of yourself reflected back at you and wait as the elevator continues its ascent. 
What were you hoping to gain from following this woman? Confirmation that she is, indeed, real? As if the brush of her arm against yours as she stretched out for your relinquished fruit hadn’t been enough to convince you. Her head bobbing through the crowds of people on the street as you kept pace behind her was just a figment of your imagination. Did you think you would find him there? Waiting for her? Eating slices of fruit from her outstretched hands in an act of worship? Your reflection purses her lips, eyebrows knit in thought, and you shake your head at her in askance, a silent plea, before the elevator finally stops at floor 22. 
The door slides open for the second time and you brace yourself to alight, but your path is blocked. 
“Oh, sorry,” he says, stepping aside to give you space to pass, “are you getting off here?” 
You freeze on the spot, standing on the threshold of a million converging thoughts as they crash through your mind. His smile is the same as you remember it, soft and kind. The smile of someone for whom life was easy, someone who hadn’t seen much strife. Or perhaps the opposite . Someone who had seen all the horrors life had to offer him and chose to remain soft despite them. You’re distantly aware that you look like a fool, standing there in the elevator with your mouth hanging slightly agape as you stare into the eyes of your husband’s mistress’ husband, but you can’t make yourself move. Paralyzed by a strange twist of fate that had, unbeknownst to him, entangled you in a web of deceit and betrayal.
Surely he didn’t know. 
“Is this your floor,” he asks again, prompting you to move or speak or do something more than just stand still as the elevator beeps its final warning. It wasn’t going to wait much longer. 
“N-no,” you stammer, trying to right your thoughts. “I was going down, actually.” In a panic you jam your finger against the button for floor 15. If he notices the obvious lie, he doesn’t say anything–instead politely skirting around you as he steps into the lift and presses the button for the ground floor.
The lift jerks as it starts to descend, and you hold your breath. Afraid that any movement might somehow reveal every thought you’re holding tight within. He keeps a polite distance, checking his phone as he stands in the opposite corner of the narrow, enclosed space. The elevator inches closer to your floor and your muscles tense in preparation to bolt through the door as soon as it slides open at floor 15. You stare up at the numbers as they transform–20, 19, 18. Eyes transfixed on the digital display as your brain whirrs with static noise. 
“We’ve met before, haven’t we?” You jerk your attention towards him as soon as he speaks, head spinning too fast to pass off your expression as casual and you’re sure that you look as panicked as you feel. “When we first moved into the building, I mean. It’s been a while but I recognize you.” 
You nod and take a second to clear your throat of the built up nerves before replying, voice trembling with a light quiver. “Yes, I uh–it’s been over a year now I think. I’m sorry but I don’t remember your name.”
He smiles–that same soft, kind smile as earlier–and shakes his head reassuringly. “It’s Joshua. Hong.” 
“Joshua?” your voice betrays a hint of curiosity–it’s not a common name here. 
“I moved here from LA years ago with my wife,” he supplies the answer to your unspoken question. Unwittingly adding a layer of intrigue to his personage that you hadn’t expected. At the mention of his wife, however, you feel the hairs on your arms rise to attention. A cold chill ripples through your body. The elevator dings, startling you out of your daze as it arrives at your floor. You turn to face the hallway as it appears between the doors, lingering astride the threshold between him and the emptiness ahead of you. Something inside of you hesitates, hanging back to remain in his presence despite the anxiety still flooding through your body. Something about the way he spoke had drawn you in, a strange curiosity taking root in your mind. You shake it loose; it’s not your place to say anything, and it’s not your place to further entangle yourself in this web. His life is his own. You take a step forward, finally clearing the door just before it beeps its insistence at you. 
You turn to say a farewell to Joshua–it wouldn’t bode well to appear impolite after he was so courteous to you a moment before–but before you can open your mouth to speak, he beats you to it. 
 “I think she and your husband know each other, actually. My wife,” he says, and you freeze again, stuck now staring at him from the hallway. He waves goodbye as the doors slide closed and you’re left standing statuesque in the hallways alone. Ears ringing with the echoes of his words. 
Does he know? 
Nothing in the way he held himself, in the casual expression gracing his handsome, well composed features would have led you to believe so but…why else would he have said that? 
You stand still, staring at the scuffed stainless steel doors of the elevator as if they might reopen and he might still be there. That he might dull the sharpness of your anxieties with some clarity . Instead you’re alone, bag of groceries cutting the circulation in your fingertips off as they hang forgotten in your hand.
You try to search the memory of his face as it lingers in your mind’s eye for any clue–any miniscule hint–as to what thought had been hiding beneath his calm facade. His face twists and contorts in your mind, swirling and transforming as you try to keep hold of the static image. Joshua, your husband, his wife, your own warped expression in the polished metal of the door. Many parts of an ever colliding whole. 
When you finally manage to get your legs moving and step away from the elevator the hallway seems to stretch out in front of you endlessly. You walk as if to the gallows, imagining all the horrors waiting for you when you open the door to your apartment. Your husband, Joshua’s wife. Limbs entangled in carnal desire. The heat of their bodies steaming the windows and fogging your vision as you stumble through the darkness. The thought overwhelms you, slows your already stuttering pace, though you know in your logical mind that no one’s there. She’s in her own apartment, and your husband is at work, and you’re alone. A state you’ve become numbly accustomed to. 
The familiar silence of your apartment is all that greets you when you finally enter, in spite of the baseless worries of your frazzled mind. It soothes the storm of worries clouding your mind as you stow away your meager haul of groceries and set out the ingredients needed for dinner. Joshua’s face fades to darkness as you slip back into routine–letting your hands take over and your mind to narrow to a single thought. 
So what if he did know. Would that change anything about your present circumstances? If he wanted a scene he had the chance to cause one and let it go. He could have held you in that elevator and interrogated you for all your husband’s many sins; pouring his hurt and betrayal out at your feet as you bear witness to your own anguish reflected in another person. But he didn’t. Instead he was polite, almost kind, and you parted without the cosmic clash the worst parts of you might have anticipated.  
The water for the noodles starts to boil and you quickly finish chopping your small array of vegetables before turning the heat down to simmer and tossing them in. Leftover shrimp lay on the side of your cutting board, ready to add in at the end. It was a lazy meal–one you never would have made early on in your marriage–but who cared about that now? You knew it would be the same routine tonight. Eating without tasting, alone in the kitchen, lit only by the light filtering in through the windows, while you stare at the clock on the wall. He’ll show up after you’re finished–maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour–and eat the portion set aside for him while you disappear into the bedroom and will the day to come to an end. 
Would Joshua’s night end the same or were he and his wife better at maintaining the charade of marriage? Were their hearts as distant when they lay in bed next to each other, barely touching? 
You had a hard time imagining it. You try, between mouthfuls of noodles and broth, to capture the image of them. Joshua sidestepping his wife in the kitchen, carefully avoiding her touch–her skin stained by the kiss of another man. Was his smile as soft and kind when turned upon the face of the woman who, with every breath she took, dared to remind him of the sadness that lurked beneath the surface of their life? Was the love he still held for her enough to erode all of her transgressions, even as she continued to transgress? Did he still hold her in his arms at night like no one else had ever touched her? Like he was the only one for her? Why, if he could so easily absolve her of her crimes, could you not do the same for the man you had promised yourself to? 
You shake your head, ridding yourself of the scene that was playing out. You knew nothing about this man–about his life or his thoughts. This scene you had conjured up, fleshed out with his feelings and emotions, was just a projection of some possible life dwelling within you.
But still, you couldn’t help but wonder. How different would things be if you tried?
The night drags on as all the previous ones have. You sit in front of the window, letting the TV drone on in the background, and stare down at the street below. Watching as people come and go–each with their own thoughts, their own lives, their own worries and desires. None more or less important than your own. It was comforting, in some odd way, to imagine the lives and futures of others. It took the distinct sting out of imagining our own. 
The front door opens, earlier than expected, and you glance over your shoulder to see him enter. He nods in greeting and you return the gesture before acting on an impulse you haven’t followed through on in months. You move towards him. You don’t even realise you’re doing it until his form comes into focus only a few feet in front of you. He doesn’t notice you right away, too busy reheating the noodles; you wait and you watch as he moves through the task with a slight droop to his shoulders. He’s tired. 
“How was work today?” you ask. The question spills unbidden from your mouth but you don’t rush to stop it. 
“Long,” he sighs, stirring the food as it begins to steam in the pot. There’s no hint of surprise or shock in his voice at your sudden interest in his day. He accepts it–whether from sheer exhaustion or ignorance of the deafening silence that has defined your life for the past few months. Maybe he never noticed how distant you were. How could he when he still held someone so close? “How was your day?”
“Fine,” you reply, intending to leave it at that before a thought flashes through your mind. “I ran into one of our neighbours earlier, in the elevator. Joshua Hong. We met them once or twice when he and his wife moved in just over a year ago, do you remember them?” 
“I can’t say that I do,” he shakes his head, flicking the heat off on the stove. His back is still turned, so you focus on his tone, on the micromovements of his muscles under his shirt. Searching for anything other than the polite disinterest he was feigning. Anything that might betray some feeling brewing below the surface. Fear, love, guilt. Anything at all. 
“Hmm, yeah I couldn’t remember him well either at first,” you agree, pausing to allow him the space to settle in, to pour his dinner into a bowl and sit down at the counter. He leans forward, blowing the steam away as he prepares to take a bite. “He mentioned you though,” you say finally, watching his face as he glances up at you with his chopsticks suspended above his bowl. “He mentioned you know his wife.” 
Silence. One brief, fleeting moment of hesitation. A slight lift of the eyebrow. You watch his Adam’s apple bob at the base of his throat, just above the knot of his tie. 
“That’s odd,” he replies, voice carefully neutral, he drops his gaze from yours and brings his chopsticks the rest of the way to his mouth to slurp up the hanging noodles. You stay silent, watching–waiting–as he finishes his bite before he continues. “He must be mistaken.” 
“Must be,” you nod, trailing a finger lazily over the countertop. You don’t say anything else. You don’t need to. You let the silence settle in between you–an observer of its own, interrogating him with the absence of speech. You’ve had months to become accustomed to it, to make friends of the stillness of the air in your apartment, but you can see as your husband carefully avoids your lingering gaze that he hasn’t. He’s been too preoccupied to even notice it as it slowly moved in, taking over his place at your side. 
After a few moments you shrug, straightening your posture and smoothing down the front of your dress–releasing him of the heaviness of your gaze. The atmosphere settles back into one of easy stalemate and your husband resumes eating in silence. Nothing more is said. You slip back into blue.
 You never wanted a traditional wedding. 
With your father long buried and your mother under the spell of religious fervor, you never saw any appeal in the tradition or ceremony. You felt estranged from your scattered family–disconnected from the broader world. You floated in blissful independence, living life on your own terms and only reigning it in to pay fealty to your mother when required. Then you met him. 
He was handsome–dark hair and dark airs and expertly sculpted features. The sort of handsome that was easy to overlook at first but unraveled more and more as soon as you tugged at a loose thread of it. You looked at him across the lecture hall and took your time, dissecting his profile as the lectern’s voice melted out into the distance. It didn’t take long for your introduction to follow these looks. College is like that. Friends of friends of friends, dorm rooms, study hangouts in the library. Before you could even notice, your blissful independence had given way to comfortable partnership. 
After college, still in the early days of your courtship, you had grand ideas of elopement. The last lingering strands of your individuality. Traveling to a foreign country, marrying on a beach under the stars, and not telling your families until you either came back or decided you were going to live out your wedded bliss and future marriage in the streets of Rio de Janeiro or Sydney. 
He would entertain these fantasies–feeding into them, one morsel at a time, filling you with the hope of your aligned future. Filling you to the point that when the proposal inevitably came you couldn’t see the hunger still gnawing inside of you. 
Your husband was a good son, and his family paid for the wedding. It took little effort for you to resign yourself to ceremony and cast aside your dreams for love. The story of every fool in the world. 
That should have been the moment you knew that this would not last. Or at least that the happiness and contentment that shrouded your relationship was just that–mere illusory material. If you could turn back time, redo the last years of your life, you would have taken your meager inheritance from your father and booked a one way flight to the US. Used what little connections you had from distant family to build a life and chase your dreams. Live for yourself instead of the external expectations that you had been raised to abide by. You could have sent your mother back what little extra income you had–supported her from a distance as she ruined her own life where you did not have to bear witness. 
Instead, like the perfect picture of a good daughter, you went along with your husband and his family’s wishes. You let them arrange the entire thing and you–a mere passenger in your own life–silently went through the motions. Assured by word and by every soft kiss that all your dreams would be realised once it was all over. Your hands would reach the farthest destinations of your imagination, your feet would touch the sands of your desire. You let yourself be carried forward into this future with a smile, unaware that the only sand your feet would see would be the foundations of your own life as it crumbled and fell around you. 
You could only blame yourself. Even your mother tried to warn you, in her own way. Her own misery bearing down on your throughout your life–her inevitable cracking under the weight of everyone else's dreams bearing down on her until she simply couldn’t take it anymore. If you had been smart you would have seen it for what it was when you were 12. 
But you didn’t. You continued to simply go with it, smile waning as the years began to drag on and none of those golden promises spoken to you at night ever materialised. Business was good, now was not the time to take a break away it would only spell financial ruin for yourself and your entire family. Fine, you could wait. Were happy to wait, in fact. Dutiful and loyal and ever patient as you filled your days with the duties you had accepted in spite of yourself. Homemaking, cleaning, cooking. You had longed to work yourself, use your degree for something other than simply occupying space on your wall, then in a drawer–but no, your obligation was to the home, to your husband. Business was good. It was the right time to start trying for children. Did you want children? Did it matter? 
The flames of passion burned bright in your union early on. Your skin was on fire in the moonlight, bathed in sweat and dappled by the heated kisses of your new husband. Your body felt like a temple of worship, and he was there to pay his respects. He was the first man you had ever been with and you felt like you had won the jackpot each night as he brought you to new heights with his devotion. 
Maybe it’s true what people say about newlyweds. That passion is fleeting. The newness and excitement of having each other at the tips of your fingers would inevitably dull down until even sex simply became a part of your daily routine. A task to be completed, to stave off the questions of family and friends speculating on the growth of your family. Yours wasn’t meant to grow, though, it seemed. No matter how often you came together in pursuit of it, your monthly courses came as consistent as the full moon. Month after month until you stopped trying.
But there was love there, in the beginning. You think about it still, lying silent in the vast wilderness of your marital bed next to your sleeping husband. When you think to yourself  ‘how could I have let this happen’ your mind drifts back to those moments–wrapped up tightly in his embrace as he peppered your face, neck, shoulders, with kisses and promised you the world. How could you have known that it was built on such faulty foundations? That it would all drift away over time? 
You run a slow finger over your thigh, tracing the paths that he would take each night before. Remembering the love that you had shared. Wondering if the woman he shares it with now feels it as deeply as you had. Did he think of you when he was with her or had she eclipsed you completely in his memory? Was her back the only one that arched as he was deep inside her, spilling his love into her? 
The thought digs its barbed wires into your chest–ripping and tearing at what little tenderness you still held for the man. You let the pain sing you to sleep–weeping and burning for what once was and what might never be again as you let the darkness consume you in the dim blue of your bedroom. 
Dawn comes, as it always does, sunlight taking the place of the filtered neon of the city–streaming its way into your windows and nudging you awake long after your husband left for work. You’re alone again, and the thoughts don’t cease for the daytime. 
The flickering bulbs of the supermarket welcome you as you hunt around for a decent bunch of spring onions for dinner. Your hands find them and you add them to your basket, moving on to the next item on your list while your mind is half-occupied by the thought of the woman from yesterday. 
You wonder if she’ll make an appearance again. Standing behind you in line, perhaps, or waiting for you in the cold section–eyes scanning tanks of crabs for the perfect one. You wonder if she’ll be wearing red again. The contrast of the colour against her milky white skin as it hugs her body just so, conveying the image of someone with the world at her fingertips. 
Your own dress–emerald green, accented with black florals–suited you well enough. It was clean, well made, and fit you well even after all these years of wear, but it was just that. A dress. Function over form. It was the dress of someone who didn’t want to stand out, who wanted to blend into her surroundings and remain unnoticed as she moved throughout her day. It was the green in the shade of the bright red orchard as it shimmered in the sun.
As if summoned, a flash of red lights up your periphery–calling your attention away from the pear you had been inspecting. You lift your gaze to see her, a few stands down from you, a beacon of red just as you had envisioned her. You blink a few times to solidify her existence–not entirely convinced that you hadn’t just conjured her up out of smoke and mirrors. She remains, gathering a small selection of tomatoes before striding out of the produce section. 
The shock of her appearance from yesterday has long since faded. You’ve had time to reckon with the weight of her existence in your proximity. What was once a desperate, aching curiosity has since dulled to a cold, calculated interest. Instead of abandoning your grocery haul you stick to your list–taking the time to pick out the right ingredients–and achieve your own goals all while keeping her in your sights. You time your actions to match hers, moving on as she adds items to her basket, lingering by the teas as she stalls at the opposite end of the aisle from you. You make your way to the till, trailing her casually, and choose the cashier adjacent to her so you can pay at the same time. 
You leave the market assured with the knowledge of your mutual destination. No need to hurry, no need to chase, no need to match her pace. You let yourself fall into easy step a few feet behind her–content with enjoying the temperate weather that the day has brought. She arrives at the apartment a minute before you but you meet her in the lobby, standing silent beside her as you both wait for the elevator to descend. 
The anxieties of your trip yesterday melt away as you evaluate her through the steel mirror of the door–letting your gaze drift over her distorted figure. How long until she starts to notice your presence as more than mere coincidence? Would you be able to maintain this routine–living alongside her and watching from the peripherals as she goes about her daily tasks without so much as a second thought? 
As if in answer her eyes meet yours in the reflection. You politely avert your gaze, unwilling to be bested in this dance before it had even begun. Whether she was aware of who you are or not, you didn’t need to relinquish the satisfaction of knowing to her. 
The doors open at your floor and you alight into the hallway, leaving her to ascend the rest of the way to her own apartment where she would maintain her own charade. Your heart lurches at the thought, an odd disruption to the calm satisfaction you had been feeling up until now. You remember Joshua’s face from yesterday–the soft curve of his lips as he spoke to you. Polite, kind. You could blame yourself easily for your own husband’s infidelity but what had Joshua done to deserve this? 
Was he plagued with the same self loathing thoughts that haunted your every step? Or was his kindness, too, an illusion? Hiding some deeper malice that lurked at the heart of everyone wrapped up in this love affair.
You shake your head free of him as you enter your apartment and set your groceries down on your kitchen counter, but he returns as swiftly as he leaves. A thought circling round and round–unable or unwilling to give you a moment's peace as you unpack your bags. 
Somewhere in life you had adopted this sense of pessimism about life and the people that walked through it. It was easy to imagine cruelty at the hearts of everyone–to picture the worst case scenario, the worst intentions. But something inside of you revolted as you tried to apply it to Joshua. 
How silly, you think. I don’t even know him. 
And yet it remains, this tiny revolution inside of you. A hope for a kinder heart amidst the sea of troubles that you had been cast adrift on. Some lifeboat in the blue-black of it all. If you just reached out, maybe you could save yourself from drowning. 
Foolish, you think, casting the thought aside. No one is coming to save you. Not from your misery, not from your life, not from yourself. You had gotten married under the guise that your life would forever be tied to another person–that you would carry each other through everything–and now that that has dissolved to nothing, you know. You are alone. You have always been alone. 
The fog of winter rolls in shortly, blanketing the city in gray. For a few weeks in the beginning of December, your husband’s mistress disappears. He comes home on time, eats dinner with you, and you spend your days together like any married couple might. You’re lulled into a false sense of security and for a moment you think you could simply float back into the life you had expected to have and forget everything that has been. But only for a moment. Before long she reappears, her hair cropped shorter and  a spring in her step as she bounds through the aisles of the market. Your temporary marital utopia dissolves into the mist and you resume your post as observer. 
The weather starts to warm again, sunlight finding its way through cloud and smog to dapple the sides of buildings, and you take up a nightly ritual of walking through the streets in your neighbourhood. You never stay out too late, or stray too far, but you were starting to feel like a caged animal as you paced through your home and your thoughts night after night. 
On the nights your husband stayed out–either still at work or somewhere with her–you would forgo cooking all together, instead heading to a nearby restaurant as the sun starts to set over the city skyline. You eat slowly, relishing in each flavour and texture, and watch the rest of the patrons as they would do the same. It makes you feel less alone–or at least, less alone in your loneliness–as you would sit and watch the strangers around you bury their own miseries in the warmth of the broth steamed over countless hours. Their minds filled with thoughts and worries of their own. 
Tonight is much the same. You linger at home, straightening cushions and wiping down already clean surfaces to keep your hands occupied while you watch the clock tick down the time. Your phone lights up with a message–your husband informing you that he will be home late, telling you not to wait up. You slip on a light jacket and head out the door. Your feet know the way by now, they carry you almost mindlessly forward–down the elevator, out through the lobby, down the street, two left turns, one right turn, a few blocks ahead. You pass by some familiar faces–vendors and other denizens of the evening that you’ve become accustomed to during your walks–and you acknowledge them as a friend in your mind. Kindred spirits. 
You enter the small restaurant, blinking away the temporary fluorescent lights induced blindness, and take up your usual seat in the corner. Time ceases to exist in this place. If it weren’t for the last vestiges of sunlight forcing their way through the small, foggy window at the front, you wouldn’t be able to tell if it was day or night. 
Over the month or so you’ve started becoming a regular fixture of the place, you’ve grown familiar with a number of the other restaurant denizens. The cook and his wife–presumably the owners of the establishment–are ever silent unless yelling instructions about orders back and forth at each other. The wife, a small woman of indeterminate age, would move with efficiency between the five tables dotting the small space–taking orders, handing them to her husband in the kitchen, taking payments, refilling tea. She never appeared to be rushing, and no one was ever left for too long waiting for anything.
Occasionally a young man would take her place–likely their son or another relation roped in to help with the family business for a night. He was young–university aged maybe–and clearly disinterested in spending what little free time he had serving customers and bussing tables. The disinterest showed plain on his face even as he scribbled down your order (the usual, hot and sour soup and tea) and delivered it to his father in the kitchen. 
Tonight it was the woman, she didn’t even bother to ask you what you wanted as you had ordered the same thing every night over the past week. After a few moments she walks over with a teapot and cup in hand, setting them down with a silent nod, before turning to greet the next customer as they enter through the front door. 
You take a sip of tea, not too hot, before leaning back in the chair to settle in for another evening of people watching. The window in the front of the restaurant is clouded slightly with steam built up from the inside, and a light dusting of grime from the outside, but your eyes have adjusted to the distortion over the past month. You sit and watch as people pass by on the street outside, a few salarymen will stop in throughout for silent meals alone before returning to the streets, but often you’re the sole patron during the few hours you spend there each night. 
You watch as the new patron takes a seat at the table nearest the entrance–you haven’t seen him here before, but he looks the same as the rest. The same white button down, creased with a long day's work; the same black trousers; the same black tie and blazer thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. They were a dime a dozen in the city, these salarymen. Your husband had been one of them, once upon a time. Even with his many promotions over the years he still dressed much the same. You wonder briefly what made him stand out from the crowd to his mistress. 
The woman returns to your table a few minutes later, bearing your soup in her work worn hands. Steam billows from the top and you thank her before straightening in your seat and picking up your spoon. 
The food is not remarkable–truly nothing about this place is. Much like the salarymen that dip in and out through its front door, it’s no different than any of the other random hole-in-the-wall establishments that populate this city. The menu varies little from the usual, and the dingy white tiled walls do little to visually differentiate it. Everything about the place appears to be almost designed to blend into its surroundings. To serve its purpose without disturbing the status quo. It was solid and reliable and it's this very reliability that keeps drawing you back. 
It could be any restaurant. You could be any woman. 
You sink into the anonymity, slowly savouring the warm comfort of your food, and watch the slightly obscured figures of people as they pass by outside under the darkening sky. The man at the table by the door finishes his food quickly–in all of 15 minutes he orders, eats, and pays–with the chiming of the front door you’re left alone again as the only customer inside and the wife returns to rifling through a stack of papers spread out across the small table next to the kitchen. 
An hour passes as you sit in your chair, draining your soup and sitting silently as the scene repeats itself twice over. You glance at the clock on the wall, nearly 8:00pm, then down at your phone screen. No messages, no notifications. The light of the evening sun has all but disappeared by now, only a faint yellow clinging still to the corners of blue that construct the city at night. You push your bowl to the side and sigh–both ready and not ready to head back out into the street and begin your short walk home. As has become the routine, the woman sets her papers aside and presses a few buttons on the old till. You linger a moment longer at the table, watching a pair of women stroll by outside, before getting up and pulling out your wallet. No word is exchanged as you set down a few paper bills on the counter in front of her. 
The night air still bites with the remnants of the winter air and you tug your jacket tighter around to your chest as you step onto the sidewalk. It’s a quieter part of your neighbourhood, but still the streets are abuzz with people even aa the sky deepens with the threat of twilight. You fall in line behind a trio of women, walking a few paces behind them and letting your mind focus in on their conversation as they talk and laugh with each other.
Their conversation is nothing interesting–daily gossip about people you know nothing about, feel nothing for–but it reminds you of when you would wander around at night with your friends in University. Aimless and carefree, talking about nothing and everything that came to mind. When was the last time you had seen any of them? Not for months, surely. Maybe you should reach out.  
The women make a left turn a few blocks later, disappearing in the opposite direction that you’re headed and you let your thoughts drift off as their voices do. Would your husband be home already? Would he be upset with the lack of prepared dinner? He hasn’t mentioned anything about it up until now, but you do wonder how long that might last. You know you should summon up some excuse for why you’ve taken up these walks, why you’re sometimes not home when he gets back, but you can’t bring yourself to care enough to lie. What does it matter anyway? 
You round the final corner towards home. The building looms ahead at the end of the street, lobby lights casting yellow highlights onto the pavement out front. 
“Mrs. _____.” You don’t hear the voice at first. Your attention is far away, lurking in the recesses of your thoughts, and it takes a minute and a repeated call for you to register that acknowledgement. With a quizzical look, you turn towards the source of the voice and see Joshua Hong striding towards you from the opposite side of the street, pace quick to avoid an encroaching motorbike. 
“Mr. Hong?” you ask, wavering with confusion. Still unsure if he’s a real person or a spectre come to warn you of some impending doom awaiting you as you approach your apartment. 
“I thought that might be you,” he smiles, coming to a stop under a streetlight a few feet away. “How are you?” 
You blink him into reality, righting your attention back to alertness after it’s time away. He’s sporting a cream coloured corduroy jacket over a plain white t-shirt. Blue jeans. He looks the same as the last time you met him in the elevator–the same dark brown hair carving waves over his forehead, the same easy smile. You return the smile, sense reasserting itself enough for you to remember your manners. “I'm well, thank you. How are you?”
“Also well,” he replies, gesturing for the pair of you to resume walking towards your shared building. “We were away for a while, my wife and I. Visiting my family in LA.” 
You know this–the kiss of sun on her skin and your previous knowledge of Joshua was enough to clue you into where they had disappeared to those few months ago. Though you weren’t about to tell him this. “Ah, that sounds lovely. How long have you been back?” Polite conversation demands the question, though the answer to it is already blaring red in your mind. 
“About two months ago or so,” he replies. “It was a nice  trip, thank you.” You arrive at the entrance to the apartment complex, Joshua reaches for the door before you have the chance and you nod a thank you as he holds it open for you. “Have you ever been?” 
“To LA?” you ask, though the question is rhetorical and serves mainly to fill the empty spaces in between. He nods, affirming. “No, I haven’t.” You fall into step beside him, low heels clacking across the well worn black and white tiles of the lobby floor. You think to leave your answer succinct but reconsider it as you approach the elevator for fear of the silence that might ensue if you do. “Though, I did once have a dream to move there and become an actress,” you laugh. 
“Oh?” He looks surprised at the sudden confession and you worry you might have said too much about yourself. “Why didn’t you?” 
No one had ever asked you that before. It’s your turn to be taken off guard now as you step up to the dual elevators. Joshua presses the ‘up’ button and you consider how to reply. 
Why didn’t you? 
“I–well,” you start, fumbling through your thoughts. “It wasn’t a very serious dream, and it wasn’t like anything would have come of it. My mother preferred that I stay here and do something more practical.” 
He nods, thoughtful, appearing to seriously consider your response as you watch the numbers descend on the display above the right side elevator. “That’s understandable,” he says after a minute, “I think most parents just want security for their kids. Acting isn’t the most stable or assured career.” 
The elevator arrives, its buffed stainless steel doors sliding open to grant you access to the lift. Joshua gestures for you to step in first, so you do, lighting up the button for your floor as he steps in behind you. 
“Which floor?” you ask. Another question you know the answer to but he humours you anyway and you press the button for him as well. 
Silence steps into the elevator with you just as the doors shut. You realise you’re twisting your fingers together in front of you–a nervous habit you thought you had gotten rid of years ago–and you shake them lightly before dropping your arms back to your sides. 
“What about your father?” Joshua breaks the silence after a moment and again you take a second to register his question, too focused on the audible sound of your breathing. 
“I’m sorry?” You glance at him, not trusting that you had heard him correctly. 
“Your father,” he repeats, soft smile still lightly dusted over his lips. “What did he think of this acting dream of yours?”
“Oh, I don’t–” you pause, clearing your throat. Truthfully, you had never even told your mother about it, you just knew what she would have said if you had. “I’m not sure, he passed away when I was 14.” 
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologizes, expression sombering. 
You revert to silent passengers as the lift continues to rise towards your floor. A part of you aches to say something, to break the silence again and continue polite conversation. Something about his demeanour was easy–easy to talk to, easy to be with. But you flounder for questions, comments, topics to mention. The weight of your partner’s affair presses at the front of your mind and you wonder how long you’ll be able to keep it at bay before it spills free from behind the dam of your resolve. 
“What were you doing?” he asks suddenly. Breaking the silence just as you think you might not be able to withstand it any longer. The question confuses you and it must show on your face because he clarifies, “when I ran into you outside. It was getting pretty late.” 
“Oh, right of course,” you say, “I was just out for a walk.”
He nods, understanding. “I was as well. Do you walk often?” 
“Most nights, these days,” you reply. 
“Does your husband not mind?” 
You want to laugh. “He’s not home often, these days,” you answer after a moment, casting your gaze to the floor. Dancing around the implications as the weight presses heavier in your mind. “Your wife?” you ask, flirting with the edges of truth unspoken nestled between you. 
“She’s similarly occupied,” he responds, voice softening. You meet his gaze in the reflection of the doors. A spark of understanding reverberates through you and you wonder if he feels it as well. Swelling like a bloom of light bursting in your chest. He holds your gaze steady, unwavering but silent. He knows. He must. 
The elevator dings, warning you of your arrival, and you clear your throat, tearing your eyes off his and smothering the warmth that had blossomed in your heart. “Thank you,” you say, unsure exactly what you felt compelled to thank him for but giving sound to the sentiment anyway. “For um, the chat. It was nice to see you.” 
“You as well,” he smiles as the doors slide open to let you out. You nod and step into the hallway, torn between the eagerness to be alone once more and a strange resistance at departing from his company so soon. The doors begin to slide closed behind you but you hear him call your name once and spin to see his hand blocking their attempt. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon, on one of our walks.” 
You nod again and watch as he lets his hand fall, body swallowed back into the elevator as the doors shut and it continues its climb upwards. You stand for a minute, stock still in the hallway once more staring at the space where he was. 
It's amazing how little time it takes for your whole world to shift. It’s a fact you’ve been presented with again and again throughout life–the deaths of your parents, accepting your husband's proposal all those years ago, the photo of him sent to you by an old friend with his arms around another woman. Mere seconds of time that seemed to move entire planets–rearranging your life without your consent at a subatomic level. 
Standing in the hallway now, with the sound of Joshua’s voice lingering in your mind, you get the uncanny feeling that you’ve just lived through another of these moments. You turn away from the elevator and walk the final steps to your apartment accompanied with this knowledge, and the hope that his final statement proves true. 
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satoruxx · 1 year
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MORNING CHILLS.
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✧ PAIRING: diluc ragnvindr x reader | 1.2k words
✧ SUMMARY: fluff, lots of domesticity, established relationship, clingy diluc, clingy reader, lots of clinginess overall, this is way too cheesy, an absurd amount of sweetness really, but anyways domestic mornings !!
✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: this is my entry for the summer santa event hosted by @solarisfortuneia and i got assigned to @pvbbyb0y !! i’m so sorry it’s late but i’m really hoping you enjoy this hehe :D i had a lot of fun writing it (diluc my beloved mwah)
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despite wielding a pyro vision, diluc ragnvindr runs cold in the mornings.
you'll probably tell him he's absurd, clinging to him for warmth whenever you can, but he knows in his gut that it's true. he's usually warm, except for the early dawns, when he's roused from sleep and even the slightest shift of his skin against the sheets makes him shiver.
he used to hate the mornings for this exact reason. he hated being pulled from the comforting warmth of his dreams only to realize that there was nothing but cold and emptiness in the bed he slept in. he hated the feeling of ripping the sheets away from his body, hated the feeling of goosebumps rising over his flesh, hated the feeling of his bare feet touching the cold wood of the manor's floors. he hated it all.
he tells you as much one morning, when you're still hazy with sleep and slow to process his words.
"isn't it strange that those with pyro visions aren't always warm?" he asks quietly, voice thick with sleep as he speaks out into the silence. you attempt to crack an eye open, but the sunlight filtering in through the curtains makes you flinch, and you opt for burying your face into his arm instead.
when you answer, your voice is muffled against his skin. "what are you talking about?"
he sighs, quietly, so that he doesn't break the peace. he's been scared of doing that lately. "i'm always cold in the mornings..."
there's a silence that lingers in the air before you're snorting out a laugh, shaking your head. "no you aren't."
diluc sits up a little, so that his back can rest against one of the pillows. the sheets slide down his body a little, and he almost hisses as the cool air hits his skin. he eyes your disheveled hair, confusion evident in his tone. "yes i am." he replies simply.
you finally pick your head up to glare at him critically, unlatching yourself from his arm. "you're ridiculous, no you are not." you say, groggily adjusting yourself so that you can rest your face against his chest and drape your arm over his waist. "you run so warm all the time. it's the most pleasant thing ever."
he pauses, looking down at you with interest, his calloused palms coming up to thread through your hair like it's routine. "oh? what do you mean by that?"
"i mean," you stress with a sigh. "that you're so warm and so comfortable and it makes me feel clingy."
you say all of this with a grumpy pout, and diluc can already tell your only goal right now is to go back to sleep. the thought makes him bite back a grin, because it's almost funny how you can say these sweet things with such an exasperated expression. he doesn't really have an answer to give back, and instead he smiles to himself, fingers coming down to drift over the skin of your arm.
there's another comfortable silence between the two of you and diluc's thoughts travel through his head slowly, lazily.
"i hate the cold, you know?" he muses, gaze trained on the folds of his bedsheets with disinterest.
"is this another horribly concealed jab at captain kaeya?"
he laughs despite himself, shaking his head even though you can't see him with your eyes closed. "no, this isn't about kaeya. i just don't like how the cold makes me feel." he answers as his laughs die down, fingers still tracing patterns over your skin. "especially in the morning, when i have to get out of bed."
"why's that?"
he pauses, smiling to himself and leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. "because you're warm, and when i get out of bed i can't hold you, so it makes me cold."
a tired giggle escapes your lips, and you shake your head against his chest playfully. "i hope you know that was extremely cheesy, diluc."
he shrugs, choosing to keep the rest of his thoughts to himself. one day, he'll find a way to explain it to you properly. how cold he's gotten used to feeling in an empty bed and how he always believed that cold would remain with him, lonely and isolating and oh so frigid. he'll find a way to tell you that he now hates getting out of bed because he can't bring himself to let go of your addicting warmth, in all of its loving and welcoming glory. he'll somehow find a way to let you know that it's almost torture for him to rip himself away from your embrace every single day.
but for now, he'll keep those thoughts to himself.
he moves to get up, and immediately your eyes shoot open, grip tightening. he laughs quietly, as though this doesn't occur every morning. "you know i have to get up, my love."
"you don't." you say simply, tugging his hand ever so slightly. "you could just stay."
his shoulders drop, a helpless smile on his face as he reaches over to smooth down your hair.
“and who would take care of the manor?” he asks, tilting his head as a few strands of fiery red hair fall across his eyes.
"adelinde runs the place better than you do."
"oh, she does." diluc chuckles, pressing his lips to your temple. "but that doesn't mean i don't have to attend to my duties too."
the look you give him is criminally endearing, and his sigh comes out more indulgent than anything else, powerless in front of you. he moves to get back into bed, and you make yourself comfortable against him again.
he doesn't even have it in him to be angry, instead just letting his fingers stroke your hair and lull you back into that sweet sense of security you claim to feel in his arms.
and all diluc ragnvindr can do in that moment is smile to himself, feeling slightly helpless but oh so warm and fuzzy.
he waits until he's sure you've fallen asleep again to finally get up, the telltale sign of your breathing getting slower so familiar to him it makes his stomach flip. your words echo in his head, and a smile tugs at his lips as he forces himself to turn away from you and get himself ready for the day. truthfully, if you opened your eyes again and asked him to stay, he'd get back into bed with you in a heartbeat. because you look so warm all cuddled up in his sheets like that, lips parted and hair mussed like it's the most natural thing in the world.
and archons above he was starting to feel cold all over again.
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Here Are New Updated IRCC Processing Times As Of January 10
🇨🇦 Change in #processing times for PR card, #visitor visa, super visa, work permit, study permit extension! 🇨🇦 Rest still the same! 🇨🇦 Check #full list of category-wise IRCC processing times as of January 10, #2023 and comparison with last week!👇
IRCC updated their online processing tool in 2022 to provide accurate information on average processing times. This article enlists newly updated IRCC processing times as of January 10, 2023 and comparison with last week’s processing times. These processing times are provided to offer Canada immigration/visa applicants an estimate of how long their applications may take to process. In…
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mooncalfed · 9 days
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Succession (i. Price)
after a significant professional milestone, your bodyguard rewards your handsomely
[bodyguard!Price - fem!reader - spitting - fingering - rough blowjob - car sex - reader is confident and a brat]
You are veritably buzzing with adrenaline when you leave the meeting room. 
Hot on your heels to your right hand side is your bodyguard John Price. He hands you your Chanel blazer and with ease you give him your briefcase while you slip your arms into the supple tweed material. 
Heart racing, pulse thrumming, the click-clacking of your stilettos echoes your heart rate as the two of you stride out of the office and make your way to the elevator. It seems to take so long that you feel you might explode in the process. The glee you feel seems to expand within you by the minute, and you fear you might explode at any moment.
You can’t keep the grin off your face, and even your usually stoic bodyguard can’t help but crack a smile at your expression.
Ding!
John holds out an arm to prevent the doors closing as you step in. Turning, you and watch as John presses the button for ground floor, and then in the blissful silence of the empty elevator you release a maniacal scream of pure delight.
“I did it! I did it! John I fucking did it!”
You dive into his arms and squeeze his thick middle as hard as you can, and relish in the rumbling chuckle that is emitted from the warm man in your embrace. You breathe deeply and try to imprint this moment into your brain. Woody, earthy, clean, male. This is what the moment will smell like to you.
“‘Course you did, love. Never doubted you for a second.” John's eyes are warm with mirth and appreciation, and you feel a wave of affection overcome you.
You push yourself even higher on your toes and crash your mouth into his. It’s clumsy with dry lips not really meeting and far too much teeth and you end it before John can really reciprocate, but neither of you are fussy about it because the moment is perfect enough.
John’s hand is hot where it’s landed on your hip, and he gives it a firm squeeze as you start to rattle on about how major this new contract is for you, as though he weren’t there with you every step of the way.
You take a quick breath and pull your head slightly back to lock eyes with him.
“I think I deserve a reward now, don't you think?”
John’s eyes narrow. “Now, darling? Hardly think the lobby of your new corporate partner is an appropriate venue for me to lick your cunt clean.”
Ding!
You pout and step away from him. Once more at a respectable distance despite the utter debauchery running through your head. 
The elevator doors open and the wall of people waiting for your elevator puts a rest to your returning remark, though you have enough time to send John a prissy little glare.
People make way for you, because you’re important and you’re young and you’re beautiful, but most especially because you’re fucking good at what you do. There are more than a few respectful head nods at you on your way out, and though the contract and merger were meant to be a well-kept secret, loose lips are easily found where money is and no doubt word is getting out about your impressive gamble and venture.
There is no one happier on Earth than me right now, you decide.
There’s an extra pep in your step as you and John exit the premises and to your awaiting Daimler. As always John opens the door for you and lends you his hand as you get in the car. His grip is dry and warm and calloused and makes your insides squirm. 
Nothing gets you hornier than success and a gentle man to rough and tumble with.
John gets in the car on other side and you open your mouth to spew forth your wicked thoughts, however upon his entry you notice that he’s holding your phone out.
Kate, on speaker, he mouths, and passes you the phone.
“Kate!” You squeal. There is no better person to share wonderful career news with than Kate Laswell, your mentor. 
When you entered the workforce you had singled her out - easy to do since she was a rare woman amongst many, many men - and practically ran her ragged with your constant questions and polite - if persistent - inquiries. Years later and now she is a close friend and confidant. John Price actually came through her recommendation, which makes today’s success feel somewhat of a family affair. 
“I hear congratulations are in order.”
Your cheeks are beginning to hurt from happiness.
John leans to the driver and murmurs, “Partition up Garrick, and take the long way back to London.”
“Who knew your scrawny self would get to this place?” Kate teases.
“Actually I believe you did,” you say, reaching your arm out to allow John to take off your blazer, "I do recall you saying that come hell or high water, I would go the distance". You kick off your heels and wriggle your stockinged toes. 
“As humble as ever. Yes I did know. You really deserve this. I can’t imagine it’s been easy in the least.”
“Yeah, I think this job was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” You think about the months and months of negotiating, the endless back and forth, the two occasions where things almost fell through and the awful insomnia that followed. “I can’t believe it’s really done...”
“Things are going to change for you now.”
John’s large warm palm lands on your thigh as he settles into his seat.
You look over at him and cup his jaw with your hand, brushing a finger over the delicious beard that almost hides his lips. When your thumb brushes them, he presses a kiss to the pad of your thumb.
“Yeah,” you say, smile disappearing, “they will.”
“But John will be there with you,” Kate reminds you, “every step of the way.”
You lock eyes with him. 
“Yes he will.” You whisper.
John’s eyes glitter, and your previously calming heart rate skyrockets when his hand begins to travel up your stockinged thigh. Yes yes yes yes yes, you chant mentally. This is what you’ve been waiting for. You drop your eyes to watch his beautiful hands push your black tweed skirt up. 
Your heart is in your throat. You wore a new black garter set with the hopes of John discovering it and as much as you adore Kate, you want him to have your full attention when he drools on your thighs. 
“Will you hit the ground running or will you take a break before it all begins? Both are solid options.”
“Hmmm…” you murmur, pretending to consider what Kate is saying to you though your brain is practically dial-toning as John’s palm just begins to touch lace.
He pauses, and so does your breathing.
He makes the last push a little firmer, and you lift your eyes to look into his. 
Your breath is stolen from you. John’s pupils are dark and blown and the animal is loose in him and holy fuck you don’t know whether you want to eat him up or for him to devour you (with teeth), but once the lace is well under his palm, John fingers begin to squeeze and you grow so, so wet.
“I think,” you swallow, “I think I’m going to take a quick break. Or maybe just get straight into it. You know, to not lose momentum.”
John’s lips quirk up at the side. 
Against your safer instincts, you tilt the phone away from you to lean forwards and lick the corner of his upturned mouth. 
You hear Kate laugh. “You didn’t answer my question, but I can guess why.”
You’re impervious to her teasing. You want John’s taste, his sweat, his musk, his everything. You can taste it. God, do you want it.
“I’m guessing you guys are taking the long way back to London.”
“Yes we are,” John purrs into the receiver, and takes it from you. “Thank you Kate, we’ll drive safely.” 
He hangs up without waiting for an answer.
The phone falls to the floor as you collide with him in a dirty, sloppy kiss. His beard is sort of in your mouth and your arm is wedged awkwardly between your chest and his, but you couldn’t care less because his right hand is digging dangerously close to your cunt and surely he can feel how it pulses right? Surely he knows how absolutely wet and ready you are for him.
John’s left hand grips the back of your neck and pulls you back.
“No!” You whine, and lick your lips. “Why?”
“Because love,” the hand under your skirt slides higher and finally you get to feel the press of his hand against your hungry cunt. “Because we’ve got a long ride back home and I want to play with you.”
“Okay, yes, I want that.” You pant.
John’s head cocks.
“Do you, pet?” Two fingers stroke slowly up and down your slit and both of you sigh at the sensation. “So wet, always so wet.”
“You know I’m always wet for you,” you say, tears already appearing at your eyeline. John’s throat bobs. He loves it when you cry and you swear you’d spend the rest of eternity weeping as long as you could have his cock in one of your holes at all times.
He leans in and you, thinking it’s a kiss, lean in too. 
But he stops right before your lips touch his and you, desperate to make the distance, struggle against the firm, tight grip he’s got on the nape of your neck. You fail to close the gap. 
Fuck, it’s going to be like this.
“Fuck!” You gasp as he pushes his fingers into you slightly, the resistance of the stockings preventing him from going any further. “Yes, yes, yessss.”
“No love,” John whispers. You can feel his hot breath hit your lips and dry them. You lick your lips and see his eyes flit to them and lick them again. You want him to crack and just kiss you but you know this man has an iron will.
John’s tongue darts out and traces the edge of your upper lip. You struggle against the hand that holds your neck because you want to taste his tongue, but his grip stays and you have no choice but to wriggle in place.
His thumb joins to press against your clit. He gives your pulsing clit a few gentle swipes, and suddenly you’re extremely annoyed that you didn’t have the foresight to take your stockings off. You’re so turned on you could come now if you wanted to.
“Stay still for me, love.” John shifts closer, thick thigh pressing against yours. It allows him to put more pressure on your cunt and gives him a little more height, which he uses to support your head in his hand. His thumb presses into the base of your skull, creating a delicious warmth where you have been tense for weeks on head.
John leans down slightly and gives you a small kiss. Too small to deepen, too short to stay. 
Then he pulls back for a moment and returns to kiss you once more. Same as before, short and horrifyingly chaste.
You squeak. You don’t care how juvenile you sound, but he won’t even kiss you properly and that just won't do!
He chuckles and you tighten around nothing. You love that sound, that warm, chocolatey resonance that drives you absolutely insane. 
You want more.
“Please kiss me…”
John smiles but doesn’t acquiesce. His right hand stills its movements though he keeps the pressure, and instead he leans in to swipe his tongue fully across your lips. Your eyes roll into the back of your head.
“Stick your tongue out, darling.”
You do, and John squeezes your neck. “Look at me.”
You do, and John smiles. 
“Swallow.” He says, before opening his mouth and spitting slooooowly onto your eager and awaiting tongue.
You do.
“That’s it, pet.” John murmurs, watching you hawkishly as you open your mouth again, gasping for air.
“Please John,” you’re crying real tears now, “please either fuck me or kiss me, please, please. Just give me something. Don’t leave me like this.” There’s nothing more you want right now than his fingers in you, his cock in you, his–
You gasp. John watches you intently.
“I wanna suck your dick.” He raises an eyebrow.
“Please! Please. When we get to London you can’t get out of the car with a hard on and I promise you can do whatever you want to me when we get home but please let me have this! I want to taste you, I want you to come down my throat, I really want it, please, please please.”
You watch as John’s nostrils flare. His gaze quivers and you know you’ve won.
The moment his hand releases your neck, your hands are on his waist and frantically unbuckling belt.
John’s hand falls to your back, doing slow strokes up and down as you lose your composure inches away from his dick.
Belt loose and trousers unzipped, you decide to take your time with the last bit. You love seeing the shape of John’s cock in his briefs and have often tried to picture the shade of his erection before you take it out of his pants.
You run a finger over the curve of his cock and dart your eyes up briefly when you hear his slow inhale. John’s generally unflappable, but you know how to play your cards right.
You push down his underwear and relish in the way his cock bobs slightly. It’s a gorgeous shade of flushed pink-red, deeper at the cockhead and base with a mouthwatering vein that starts just under the head and curves to meet the root. 
You open your mouth and let a mouthful of saliva drip onto his hot cock, and giggle when it bounces slightly. 
John lets out a slow sigh as a hand slides into your hair and fists the roots. 
Too impatient to wait, you give the slit a coy lick and hum at the taste of precome on your tongue. Before John can draw another breath you take him as deeply as you possibly can, hands curling around the last few inches you can’t get in.
A sharp groan punches the air as you begin to suck and bob. 
You’re desperately horny and you don’t want this to be drawn out. You’re especially careless with how deep you take him and choke on what seems like every other downstroke. Above you, you can hear John’s breath stutter and you can feel his stomach clench against your side, but all you can smell and taste is his sweat and musk and come and you want him to remember this day as much as you will. 
You clamber clumsily up onto your knees to get a little more leverage and immediately choke when the movement sends John’s cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag and splutter and watch as saliva drips down into his pubic hair, but that just eggs you on. You slow down slightly because what you’re about to do requires finesse, and you were thoroughly punished once for being a little too careless. Twisting your torso slightly so that your lower teeth find John’s vein, you give him just a little scrape of your teeth as you slowly take him in. 
You’re exceedingly rewarded by the loud moan above you.
And you’re terrifically shocked by the slap on the arse you receive in return. 
Arse-cheek smarting, you pull away from John’s cock to snip at him only for the hand in your hair to force you back down. 
You squeal around him, at first in annoyance but soon in satisfaction as John’s wandering hand returns under your skirt to rub roughly against your slit. He’s inaccurate with it and hits your clit randomly which annoys you and makes you suck him more vigorously. If he’s going to be this way, then you’re going to suck his brains out.
You begin to hum and moan as you suck, enjoying the consequential tightening of John's fist in your hair. You alternate between taking him as deeply as possible and as quickly as possible, just enjoying the burn of your throat and the cramp in your jaw. John tastes salty and bitter and his smell is getting stronger in your nose and the scent is just scrumptious. You would wear it as perfume, if you could. 
One of your hands releases the base of John’s cock to cup his balls, and you play your winning card by ever so lightly running your sharp nails down the curve of his balls. 
John comes with a shout and his dick punches your throat as a jet of thick come pours into your throat. Your nose burns as you try to swallow and breath at the same time but despite your best efforts you manage to let a little come slide down his softening cock. You lift up and breathe deep before returning to lap up the salty, bitter liquid.
“Fucking hell pet,” John rasps. You barely have time to even look smug before suddenly his clumsy, thick fingers are dead precise and he pinches hard at your covered clit.
“Ah!” You cry, lurching forwards. John catches you with his right against your chest but his left pursues its target and he pinches and squeezes at your poor, aching clit.
“John,” you sob, gurgling through a sore throat. “Please!”
Your hips roll and buck and circle as they try to find a rhythm but John is cruel and unrelenting. His dick is still out and you seek comfort in it as you lean your cheek against his soft, sticky cock. 
And then John does something cruel.
He stops altogether.
“What! No, why!” Your head lifts but you’re stopped by a rough hand over your mouth.
“Careful darling, else Garrick will hear and will want in on the fun.” John gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead but that is absolutely not what you want. 
“Turn around and lay on your back for me,” he purrs, “such a pity I haven’t even seen those delightful tits of yours.” 
You scramble to move, undignified and uncaring. “Let me have a look and I’ll give you what you want.”
Back on his lap, you unbutton your blouse with shaking hands. Vaguely you remember choosing this shirt for a reason, but in your desperation to have his mouth on you your cock-addled mind can’t cobble together a single memory as to why you chose this finicky piece of cloth.
You’re wearing a lacy black bra, a matching set to your garter. Your nipples are hard from arousal and visible through the delicate fabric. They ache for his touch and you arch your back in invitation.
John’s grin is wolfish as he reverently pulls down the left lace cup. Even the glide of expensive material almost hurts you, and your legs fall open in anticipation of what is about to happen.
John dips his head and bares his teeth as he closes around your nipple. You gasp and try to hold still even though you can feel his hot panting warm your chest. He gives you a slight bite and you moan loudly. 
“God yessss.”
That breaks the dam and John drops his head to swallow as much of your breast as possible. His tongue flicks and flirts with your nipple as his teeth graze your skin and you yelp and sigh and squeal at the mouth watering sensations.
John pulls up slowly, teeth grazing your nipple and pulling it up slightly before releasing. It hurts just enough for your cunt to release another wave of wetness, and he seems to know this because his left hand returns to your legs just as his right cups your right breast.
This time though, the hand in between your legs manages to shove the tight underwear to the side and finally you get skin on skin as he sinks two fingers easily into your sopping cunt and his thick thumb locates your clit.
John makes no bones of fucking you immediately, drawing his fingers in and out as his thumb bullies your throbbing clit. He dives down to your chest again to bite and suck and blow on your breasts while his right fingers firmly twist your right nipple.
Your mouth is wide open and the sounds you make loudly and ghastly and animalistic, but you can’t help it - this, this is what you deserve, this is what you’ve waited for. Words escape you are you are held down and subjected to pure feeling.
Sooner than you’d like you feel your climax spiral from your stomach to your chest and when you come your entire body stiffens as your orgasm rips through you. Your hips buck and chase John’s fingers until you can’t decide whether you want more or less, and in time the calloused thumb on your clit tips a little closer to pain and like a marionette with cut strings, you give one last sigh and fall loose-limbed into a semi-nude heap.
Above you John Price looks inordinately pleased with himself.
You’re sure you’re a sight to behold - covered in lace and clothed almost everywhere except your swollen and chafed nipples, and likely with lipstick smeared and come on your chin and neck on top of that.
John lifts your head slightly so that you don’t cramp your neck and gives you a fond smile. In return you shuffle slightly on to your side and give a quick kiss to the exposed skin on his wrist. You look down at his soft dick and stroke it gently, with tenderness. Your mouth waters while you look at it and you swallow again, delighting in the soreness of your throat.
“Love, you’re insatiable.” John huffs, slightly disbelieving.
“Can you blame me?” You can’t stop looking at his beautiful cock. Your hand wanders up his chest and your eyes follow until once more you’re swimming in the beautiful browns of your bodyguard’s eyes.
“I am so glad we’re taking the long way home. I was promised some cunt-licking.”
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To follow up on my Hosanna poll, I think before things go any further, it'd be good to actually explain and define it. I was initially going to wait until the end of the poll, but it seems that google is giving people a lot of bad and/or conflicting answers and I'd rather people walk away with the correct information.
So! Hosanna is an anglicized version of the Hebrew words "hosha na" [הושע נא or as a contraction הושענא]. Hosha na is a little enigmatic and hard to translate, but the simplest translation is probably "save us, please." It's traditionally used as an exclamation to G-d to rescue us, but it also has shades of being a triumphant shout (the implication being confidence that G-d will save us.)
Jews say "hoshanot" (the plural of hosha na) as part of our traditional Sukkot liturgy, and is something we do still today.
For us, the multi-faceted meaning of the root word allows us to have multiple layers of meaning. During Sukkot, we start praying for rain in its proper season and amounts, and we shake the lulav and etrog as part of these processions and liturgy. On Hoshana Rabba [the "great hoshana"], the last day of Sukkot, we process around the bimah (front lectern) seven times as a completion of our season of repentance and our starting of the new year with abundant blessings.
My siddur (prayer book) Lev Shalem has this as an explanation and translation:
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[Image ID is of the Lev Shalem siddur, pages 382 & 383 - I tried hard to find a pdf of this that would be readable using a screen reader, but the versions I'm finding cut off at pg. 376 at the latest. If anyone has bandwidth to type this up, I would greatly appreciate it]
For the curious, here is a recording of the Hoshanot liturgy and procession:
youtube
Christians mostly know the word from the gospels and hymns.
Here is what Wikipedia says about its use in Christianity:
Historical meaning
Since those welcoming Jesus were Jewish, as of course Jesus himself was, some would interpret the cry of "Hosanna" on the entry of Jesus in its proper meaning, as a cry by the people for salvation and rescue.
Christian reinterpretation
"Hosanna" many interpret as a shout of praise or adoration made in recognition of the messiahship of Jesus on his entry into Jerusalem
It is applied in numerous verses of the New Testament, including "Hosanna! blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lᴏʀᴅ!" (Matthew 21:9,15; Mark 11:9–10; John 12:13), which forms part of the Sanctus prayer; "hosanna in the highest" (Mark 11.10); and "hosanna to the Son of David" (Matt 21:9). These quotations, however, are of words in the Jewish Psalm 118. Although not used in the book of Luke, the testimony of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem is recorded in Luke 19.
In church music
The "Hosanna Anthem", based on the phrase Hosanna, is a traditional Moravian Church anthem written by Bishop Christian Gregor of Herrnhut sung on Palm Sunday and the first Sunday of Advent. It is antiphonal, i.e. a call-and-response song; traditionally, it is sung between the children and adult congregation, though it is not unheard of for it to be done in other ways, such as between choir and congregation, or played between trombone choirs.
The bottom line:
Jews and Christians have different connections, associations, and meanings attached to this word as expressions of our different theologies and texts. The word is derived from a Hebrew word and was created by Jews and is still used by us today. (Like literally today - we are currently in the middle of the Sukkot festival.) Christians changed the meaning to fit within their own context, and pronunciation of the word evolved with linguistic drift over time. In the same way that there's not a reason to pitch a fit over saying Jesus rather than Yeshua, there's no compelling reason to change hosanna back to hosha na; if anything, the distinction helps make it clear that it's effectively a different word and concept from ours.
On the other hand, I do think Christians ought to know the original meaning of the word if they're going to use it. To only ever know their version when it was derived from ours is yet another small way of playing into supercessionism by erasing and replacing the Jewish context of things that were originated in Judaism that Christians have embedded in Christianity. While the Christians of today cannot unwind the supercessionism of Christian history, they *can* choose to understand their present Christianity in ways that do not play into supercessionism and that respect the Jewish community of today.
I hope this was helpful and gives folks a new perspective on an obscure Hebrew word!
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hazashiovo · 10 months
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A part 2 for Imagine loving Aemond and when you find out he loves another you leave the castle? 🙏🏼😭
Second part of Aemond loving another!
Aemond Targaryen x (dead)reader
Angst🥲
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Once the sun rises the sky in the morning,Caraxes lands in kings landing with his owner holding your dead lifeless body.
This happened right after the battle. The Black's won this fight so he took the liberty to bring you back to king's landing himself.
Blood soaking your torso trough your armor, dirty hair and bruised body,must be a sight for the Greens. It's a shame ,he never wanted you to die in this war,the most undeserving of this and as he would say. But the fate considered other wise,and if it was your wish to die a warrior than so be it.
His dragon lands right in front of the castle ,making a grand entrance for all the folks in kings landing,he's pretty sure some guards have shit their pants.
Daemon gets down of his dragon,you in his arms. The people around him were quiet,dead quiet, staring at the girl's lifeless body. He walks straight to entry,no guard daring to try to stop him when Caraxes was ready to flame them up and roast them nicely. He smiled at that taught.
The way he was walking trough the castle like it was his was amusing,no word was said to him.
The throne room door opens , a scared guard making place for the Rogue prince.
And there he is ,Daemon entering. In all his glory ,but not alone.
Their eyes lie on you. Alicent pushed by the council, hurrying to your side. A heartbroken expression on her face,she just lost her child...her precious little girl. Daemon just watched. He couldn't really hear what Alicent was saying trough sobs .
He lied you down slowly,looking around the room. Aemond wasn't there. Neither was Aegon.
"This is on you. You started this Alicent." He looked down on her,she didn't even bother looking up. Your higher body now laid in her lap as she ran her hand trough your dirty and short hair. How could she allow this to happen? Why did you leave her ? Those were the most frequent phrases that roamed in her mind.
"Do you have a death wish Daemon?" Daemon's eyes meet Otto's. The old man looked like he was about to jump him. Daemon only chuckled.
"I don't,but she did."he looks at Otto amused, he could kill the man so easily.
Otto doesn't soften his gaze ,only glaring at the prince. The words just passing by Otto.
Only then the queen regent turned her eyes to Daemon. Pure hatred adorned her sad eyes.
"Don't you dare speak of my daughter like that!" Her voice laced with grimace,teary eyes shooting daggers at the prince.
Daemon decided that he no longer found interest in this place and took his leave. "She may have died at my hand,but you were the reason she gave her life away." And with that he took his leave. Minutes later Caraxes flew away from king's landing, returning to dragon stone.
Otto ordered the guards to take you away,but Alicent just wouldn't have it. She refused to leave your side. She refused to believe you truly were gone...her baby,her love...
Her father tried talking with her ,to leave the masters clean you,but she just wouldn't budge.
The door opens once again,Aemond entering trough it.
He saw Caraxes leave , the prince first taught that his uncle was there to cause trouble,but once he saw your dead body in your poor mother's lap...he didn't know how to react. How did this happen?
He's gonna kill his uncle for this. Aemond took slow steps to your side,unable to actually process this is you.
You looked so different than the last time he saw you.
"H-how did this happen?"are the first words he says ,voice caught in his throat as he kneels next to you. Reluctantly,a hand caressed your face. So cold,he taught, you used to be so warm and full of life,now only a shell of who you were lies in front of him.
He can't cry,not a tear. Aemond is barely even processing his sister is dead,all he thinks about is how he wants to murder his uncle for what he had done, no thinking for even a second that this... situation is his fault. No,it's his uncle's fault. He murdered you in cold blood on the battlefield.
Alicent remains quiet,the sorrow in her heart heavy as a Boulder.
"If it wasn't for your whore,she would still be alive." Otto breaks the silence, rubbing his hands on his temples. "Do not bring her in any of this!" Aemonds angry voice barked back,turning his gaze to his grandfather as he gets up , standing straight in front of him.
"Stupid child,do you even think before you act? You abandoned your wife for a bastard. Simple as that." He sighs,looking tired of all of this. His eyes fall on his daughter, she stoped crying , remaining at your side.
"Not only did you start this war,you also killed your sister." Otto spoke as he left the throne room,leaving just the two and the body of his former wife and sister.
His eyes fall to his mother,she looks broken. Aemond clenched his jaw,was this really all on him? Was he the reason his sister no longer breaths?
.
.
.
Short time passed, and today was the day Aemond will see for the last time his dear sister. His wife.
Your body lies on the cold stone, dressed in a beautiful dress, of a color you used to love, your hair is cleaner ,and no more wounds are visible on your body.
You look like an angel,was what your mother whispered to you before she left the stone you lie on.
Aemond calls out to his dragon,to Vhagar.
"I am so sorry for all the sorrow I caused you,my love" his hands cup your face,as he plants one last kiss on your could lips. "Rest now,you fought well. I will avange you."
Your brother backs away.
"Dracarys! Vhagar. " He shouts at the old war dragon,and with that your body is engulfed in flames. A proper Targaryen funeral.
Aemond doesn't waste any more time to returning to the castle,the sight of you like this makes him feel guilty.
Once he returns to his room,he sees Alys sitting on his bed, belly heavy.
He doesn't know what to say to her. The prince fils the cup with wine,hoping to ease his mind.
Hand gently hug his waist,her head leans on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay. I'm here." Her voice isn't like yours,no, it's so different than yours... He brings the cup to his lips drinking half of it.
"It's not going to be okay ,Alys. It's not."he pushes himself out of her hug. She doesn't have the same touch at you.
Aemond sits down on the couch,looking at the burning flames of the fire. He takes another of his wine.
If he could turn back the time...he would have you by his side now. How could he just let you go? Stupid boy,just like his grandfather said.
He brought his mother pain...why would he ever do that? Aemond takes another,and another drink of the cup, until the bottle of wine is now only half full.
Alys lays her hands on his shoulders, massaging them softly.
"She's gone, Aemond." He winces at those words, griping the cup tightly. "But I am right here. I am here for you, because you brought me here." The woman whispers in his ear,one hand playing with his white straight hair. He was a mess.
"I don't want you.."his voice speaks quietly,a bit slurry. The wine seeming to fuel him. "I want her ,and she's gone." The widowed man runs a hand trough his hair,taking out the hair and letting it lose. His hair cups his face perfectly,in the light of the fire.
Alys clicks her tongue anoyed with his answer,leaving his side and moving to the window. He didn't look at her ,he was staring at the fire. It reminded him so much of you.
The fire burns like it used to burn in your heart,with that desire for everything. A drop of something wet fell on his hand that was laying in his lap. Was he...crying? And so with that came more. She just watched as he crumbled.
He missed your passion,your love for him... Gods he missed it all.
How could he let you leave ? How could he betray you like that?
From the corner of his eye ,he sees Alys. The moonlight shining on her face. "Get out." He manages to order.
Without any words spoken, Alys leaves his chambers.
Once she's gone, he crumbles , realization finaly hitting him.
It wasn't Daemon who killed you. It was him,he was the one who pushed you to your death.
.
.
.
finally done with this one. Hope you like it 💋💋
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writing-with-sophia · 8 months
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How to get into the mind of a character? Honestly this can be for your OWN character or a fictional character. I'm wanting to write for characters- headcanons and fanfictions- and I'm so afraid I'll write them so uncanny to how they actually are.
How to get into the mind of a character?
To get into the mind of a character, you have to understand that character, believe in that character, and even "live" the character's life. But we all know each individual is different, and we cannot live different lives. A normal person who grew up in peacetime cannot fully understand the hardships of a warrior, and a doctor cannot know the thoughts of a mafia boss.
So, how can writers create believable characters? How can they possibly offer a believable soldier, cop, detective, alcoholic, or any given character type if they themselves haven't lived as them? How can they possibly offer a believable character in a situation that they've never been in?
Here are some tips you can use to get into the minds of characters:
Tip 1: Observe real-life people
To create well-rounded characters, observe real people around you. Pay attention to their behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, and thought processes. Take note of how they express emotions, handle conflicts, and make decisions. Drawing from real-life observations can add depth and authenticity to your characters. You can also search for novels and movies with different themes, study how characters with different pasts, biographies, occupations, and personalities act, behave, gesture, and speak. The best way is to prepare a small notebook and a pen so you can carry it with you wherever you go.
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Tip 2: Create a detailed character profile
Develop a detailed character profile that includes information such as their age, background, beliefs, values, goals, and fears. Consider their relationships with other characters and how these dynamics influence their thoughts and actions. Delve into the character's past and explore significant events that have shaped them. Consider their upbringing, traumas, successes, and failures. These can provide you with a roadmap for understanding the character's mindset.
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Tip 3: Use internal monologues and journaling
Imagine the character's internal thoughts and dialogues with themselves. Consider what they might be thinking in different situations, their hopes, dreams, and fears. (And why do they dream of that? Why are they afraid of that thing? What in the past made them afraid? Always asking questions.) Writing internal monologues or journal entries from the character's perspective can help you delve into their mindset and gain insight into their unique voice.
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Tip 4: Consider their external influences
Characters are influenced by their environment, culture, and society. Reflect on how external factors such as family, friends, societal norms, or even the story's setting impact their thoughts and behaviors. This will help you portray their worldview more accurately.
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Tip 5: Study the source material
If you're writing about an existing character from a book, TV show, or movie, immerse yourself in the source material. Pay attention to their dialogue, actions, and interactions with other characters. Take note of their personality traits, motivations, and backstory. This will help you develop a strong foundation for understanding the character. For example, recently I suddenly became interested in Nightwing (do you know him? Nightwing from the Batman series!), and I wanted to write a few short stories about him. So I found all the comics and movies that featured Nightwing and watched them one by one. I don't take notes because I have a pretty good memory (especially for characters I like), but I still recommend taking notes on special things to note.
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Tip 6: Practice free writing
Set aside time for free writing exercises where you write from the character's point of view. Allow your thoughts to flow without judgment or editing. Just write, write, and write. You can reread and make corrections after you're done. Remember to gather your posts in one place; otherwise, you'll lose or forget them (like me!).
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Getting into the mind of a character is an ongoing process that requires continuous exploration and refinement. The more you invest in understanding your character's thoughts, feelings, and motivations, the more compelling and authentic your writing will become.
Additionally, you can read my articles on how to write an effective character here:
How to create a superbad villain
How to make a villain's appearance memorable
Basic questions for your character
Describing a villain's appearance in a natural way
Create an effectively past for character
Common character motivations
How to create a good main character
How to avoid the instance where a secondary character stands out more/ is more lovable?
Character flaws
Writing a good Anti-Hero
Character positive traits
How to write an elderly main character?
Protagonist who is a ballerina
How to write a believeable egotistical character
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reliablevisblog · 1 year
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kaiijo · 1 year
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HOMECOMING — DAN HENG
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pairing: dan heng x gn! reader content: pining, unspoken feelings
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you’re pacing the length of the parlor car for what feels like the a hundredth time, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. you check your phone again: zero messages from dan heng.
“will you stop?” pom-pom huffs, stepping in front of you. “you’re going to wear a hole in the floor!”
“sorry,” you mumble, glancing out the window at the planet dan heng, march 7th, and stelle are trailblazing. it seems so large and ominous, even more so when the trio lost contact with the astral express.
“i’m sure they’re fine,” himeko says, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You want to believe her, but with the way welt is also anxiously checking his phone, you’re not so sure.
your mind is going a mile a minute. dan heng has a lot of people after him — what if they did something to him? what if the three of them are kidnapped and tied up somewhere with no way of calling for help? what if—
“why don’t you finish the report you’ve been putting off?” himeko suggests. “it could help take your mind off this.”
you frown, glancing at your message-less lock screen and sigh, “alright.” you slip out of the parlor car and into the archives, where your half-written report on your most recent trailblaze is pulled up on the data bank screen, almost like it’s taunting you. the last time you worked on it was with dan heng, right before he left for this recent mission.
you sit down at the desk, fingers hovering motionless over the keyboard. it’s hard to concentrate without hearing the sound of a page flipping to the next as dan heng reads his book a few feet away.
you close out of your report, staring at the home screen for a second before you see another tab minimized. curiously, you click it and you’re a little startled to find the entry about yourself pulled up. it’s not fully complete, but you read whatever description there is.
the tips of your ears are on fire; every word, every sentence in your entry feels far too generous, all incredibly complimentary and you think you feel an undercurrent of intimacy in it. dan heng is the one who inputs data bank entries — was he working on this? is this what he thinks about you?
the implications make your heart pound and your mind is working overtime to try and process what this means exactly when pom-pom’s voice blares from the train’s speakers, calling you to the parlor.
you make your way over hastily, standing besides himeko as the holograph projector crackles to life and stelle’s figure appears, wreathed in a dim blue light. “we’ve found the stellaron,” she pants, a little out of breath. “it’s ready for containment.”
you and welt let out simultaneous sighs of relief and welt promises to send the mechanism that will seal the stellaron. himeko arranges for their extraction from the planet, and when the trio come staggering into the parlor car, a little banged up and bruised but not totally worse for wear, you’re launching yourself at dan heng.
he looks a little startled but easily bears the force of your hug, arms wrapping around you. you hear march ask, “what’re we, chopped liver?” but you can’t bring yourself to care, just squeezing dan heng tighter.
“i was so worried,” you whisper.
“i know, i’m sorry,” he says. “but we’re home now.” i’m home now, his unspoken words say in the way he embraces you.
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