#fall out boy saving my relationship with my father

[v0rekeith]

neon christmas </3

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

[melbee]

My Purpose

pairing: Neteyam x EywaHealer!Reader

summary: The same way Ewya had brought you your gifts, was the same way she brought you to Neteyam. So, when sacrifice leads to fatal injury, you will stop at nothing to make sure your love is safe.

note: thanks @directioner5life for the request! You asked for a fix-it fic, and I am happy to oblige :)) (I have my thoughts on the whole death scene, and I'm going to be writing my theories soon.) Hope you enjoy my loves! xx

warnings: Mention of being shot, blood, Angst, and some sadness. Fluff at the ending though *cries*

word count: 1,984

Your mother had said you were chosen for something. Ewya had gifted you to her in a time of great sorrow, and that the seeds of the sacred tree had blessed you during your birth ceremony.

You had flourished in medicinal value, your powers having the ability to heal the sick and injured. Your mother was proud of your accomplishments, but you couldn't help but feel the oddity in your abilities.

Growing up you were protected because of your gifts, sheltered from the world, and picked on by other Na’vi kids because of it. It didn't help that with every recoup in another's health, you could feel your body drain in tiredness.

Some days were worse than others. And some days you wished it would all disappear.

That was until you met Neteyam.

The eldest son of Toruk Makto, leader of the Omatikaya Clan, Neteyam was the poster boy of being groomed for greatness. At first glance you had felt him to be too protective, but you realized his earnest love and commitment he had for his family was admirable.

That was one of many reasons that made you fall in love with him. Your mother often joked that you two would make a great pairing as Tsahik, and that you should start counting down the days until you two would mate in front of Ewya.

If only your mother knew there were quite a few close calls.

So, when the RDA had arrived back on Pandora, and Neteyam's father, Jake Sully had to step down from his position as Olo'eyktan, you were shocked. The Sully Clan was leaving, and you were determined to follow them anywhere.

So, you did.

This led you to the Metkayina clan, where you along with the Sully clan sought refuge in order to save your people. You had gone, much to the disheartened approval of your mother. Her last words before you left were,

"Help the Toruk Makto and his family. Ewya has given you the gift to do so."

Now the RDA and their task force of recombinants were beginning to close in on you and using every Pandora creature and village to push you out.

"Ma Neteyam, please." You cried out in earnest, latching onto him as the surrounding sounds of war cries were evident all around you. The RDA had kidnapped some of Neteyam's family including Lo'ak, Kiri and little Tuk. Tsireya had also been caught, and evident by the Metkayina's response they were just as displeased.

"No. I have to go y/n. I have to save my family." Neteyam who was getting ready to leave with the rest of the clan, held close to you. He wrapped his arm around you, his hand gliding over your face before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against your neck. "Go help the injured, there will be casualties."

You frowned, tears beginning to well in your eyes. You knew you couldn't ask him to stay, Neteyam was always the strongest in your relationship, and in life. He couldn't let his family die. You reached for the same hand he held to your face and pulled it toward your own heart. "Eywa has led me to you. Now you must be strong and lead your family to safety."

Neteyam smiled leaving one last kiss on both your eyes, a sign of earnest love and affection. "When I come back, and this is all over..."

You stopped him, your tears mixing in with your mournful laughter. “I would do anything for you Neteyam. Just promise me you won’t-” Your voice cracked, your head shaking as you tried to stop any unnecessary emotion from spewing all at once. “Just come home.” You looked up at him and smiled, holding his hand tightly.

Neteyam nodded his head, his eyes beginning to shine with unshed tears, before he pulled you both up from your sitting positions and stood back. You followed him as you both walked together, the sounds of rushing feet and the splashes of water as clan members of the Metkayina latched onto their Elu’s and the warrior’s prepared their tsurak (skimwing).  Neteyam had gathered with a few of the friends and siblings of Tsireya’s, and they began calling to their Elus. 

Before you knew it, they had left, and you were stranded to deal with those who stayed, and the frightful response that endured. You quickly made yourself available however, and it came to the point where many had left to join the fight. You knew you should’ve stayed like Neteyam had said, but something in you felt you needed to go.

Watching as a few members of the Metkayina left you, you went over to an Elu you had learned to ride previously and got on. Latching on you swam quickly after them. Neteyam and the rest of the clan had traveled north to where the Tulkuns were located, and evident by the smell in the air, you could tell one of the RDA ships was nearby.

You braced the Elu tightly, its soft squawks, reminding your beating heart to be careful.

Arriving at the scene, nothing could’ve prepared you for what you were about to see. So much so, you had troubles choking back the sob bursting from you.

Why great mother. You thought to yourself in anguish.

A fire had struck out, and multiple RDA ships crashed out into the rocks. However, what made your heart burn was the sight of a Tulkun and its newborn laying cold as it drifted away in the water. Your heart burned, and the unshed tears began to fall.

You had long known the RDA and group of humans posed a threat to your home world, but you never knew how much damage they could create.

Up ahead you heard commotion, you saw yelling, and the sounds of gunshots, and the familiar voice of the Sully family. You gasped, clicking at your Elu to swim forward, as you swam slowly toward the sight before you.

You could see Lo’ak much to your relief and the rest of the Sully family, including Tsireya, your eyes squinted as you scanned for the familiar face of your beloved, but couldn’t see it.

Up ahead you saw an Ikran swoop by, Neytiri perching onto the jagged rocks, as she crouched down. It was then you could finally see the circle of commotion around a singular body.

No.

Your heart fell silent, your body taking over as you began whispering prayers underneath your breath that the reality wasn’t true. Tsireya, who had been consoling Lo’ak looked up when she heard you. Her eyes softened as tears welled in her eyes, the look of apology written on her face.

“No...” You whispered, you left unto the rock, your eyes blind to everyone around you except for Neteyam. “No... my Neteyam.”

You looked upon his shaking body, his eyes squinting beneath the setting sun, as you tilted down to see his hand as well as Lo’ak’s trying to put pressure on the obvious wound. Blood was spilling everywhere, mixing in with the waves of water that crashed next to you.

Jake who was right next to you, put a hand delicately on your shoulder, you looked up shaking your head. “I can fix this... I- "

Jake nodded in earnest, “Please.” He looked over to Neytiri who looked blankly in disbelief. “Please. For our son.”

You crouched over Neteyam, the tears in your eyes now hitting his chest as he shuddered, his eyes dilating as he began to go unconscious. You gasped pushing your two hands onto his chest, urging him to stay awake. “Please, my love. Stay awake.”

Neteyam’s ears twitched at your familiar voice, a ghost of a smile evident on his face. “Y/n I- "He began to choke on air. This was enough for you to close your eyes and begin reciting your prayers.

Everything about this was familiar to you, you couldn't put on one hand how many times you had recited these same prayers to injured Navi, but this was different. Neteyam was everything to you. He had been the one pillar that stood tall throughout the entire time you had known him.

Your visions began to burst in colors, the familiar songs of ancestors reaching out through your mind as you felt your body move in harmony. You were asking, no demanding for Ewya to heal him. You felt the sensation reach through your chest and to your fingertips.

You heard Neteyam continue to struggle, as your voice grew louder as well as your tears. You would not give up on him.

Visions flashed through your mind, memories of the first time you met him, the first time you loved him. You could see it crystal clear in your mind, his adoring smile, the way he caressed you, his laughter bubbling out into a crisp day outshining any cloudy thoughts in your mind.

“Ewya gave me a purpose.” You used to joke with Neteyam, on one of the many excursions through the forest. “And initially I thought I was some sort of vessel but… I think she wanted me to meet you.”

Neteyam smiled, his hand reaching over to grasp your face. “You are my purpose.”

You felt the memory fade, as white invaded your visions, you felt your head reach up in shock, your hands trembling as you felt your powers surge into Neteyam. You smiled, before your vision began to fade, and you felt reality come back to you.

Your vision wobbled slightly, feeling the pain and tiredness roll over you. The sun had now set to twilight, the fire beside you from the RDA ship twinkling menacingly in the corner of your eye. You looked around realizing most of the Sully clan had left, which most likely had to do with the fact that little Tuk and Kiri were not evident on your arrival.

You tried focusing on one thing at a time, your mind feeling as if you had been run over by a ship. You looked down at your hands, which still laid peacefully on Neteyam’s chest, layered with his blood. You moved your hands, to see much to your relief, that the bullet wound was gone. Your eyes then cast their gaze on Neteyam’s face, who other than a few bruises, slept peacefully.

To make sure that it wasn’t a dream, you pushed your head down to his chest where his heart laid. You could feel the resounding thump in chorus to your own, and you couldn’t help the tears fall once again. You felt yourself smile, nuzzling into his chest. “Oh, my Ewya… thank you.”

You didn’t know how long you laid there, until you felt a hand creep up your neck, and to your hair, where it patted gently. You gasped, looking up to see Neteyam’s eyes fully open and a smug smirk placed happily on his face. “Well look at that, my own savior.”

If it wasn’t for the way his playfulness exacerbated from his body, you wouldn’t have furrowed your brows in frustration. “Neteyam!” You slapped him in the chest, as he groaned. You gasped, before scowling as he let out a laugh, pushing up from his lying position.

“Y/N…” He grasped your hands with his own, oblivious to the fact that blood still caked your fingers. “I was right.”

“Oh?” You thought curiously, smiling in disbelief that Neteyam still faced your own. “What is that?”

“You are my purpose.” Neteyam grinned, reaching up to caress your cheek, before leaning in to grasp your lips with his own. As you kissed you couldn’t help but feel he was right.

Perhaps that was it. Your mother had said you were a gift. You had a purpose in life. And maybe that purpose in life was in fact intertwined with his.

You were Neteyam’s, as much as he was yours.

taglist: (comment or dm and ask if you want to be in my taglist!)

@neteyum

[weasleyreidstyles]

Serendipity

chapter one

summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.

no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. All characters are aged up to be over 18.

pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader

warning(s): none

series masterlist; next part

The atmosphere surrounding the students on the Hogwarts Express differed massively in comparison to your fifth year last year, when everyone was wholly against Harry. Now, however, people whispered in their compartments about how he was right, the Dark Lord had returned. How everything was changing, especially with the rising death toll, wizard and muggle combined.

You were walking to the designated Prefect's compartment, which sat in the middle of the train, with Hermione at your side, your blue and bronze tie clashing with her burgundy and gold one. Your presence at the Ministry that summer prompted the two of you to be topics of few conversations, you sent glares their way.

"What do you think will happen this year?" the Gryffindor girl asked as you both made your way through the throngs of students in the hallway.

"Considering we almost died in June?" you say, a frown painting your face as your mind brings you back to your traumatic time in the Department of Mysteries to aid Harry in saving (and failing to do so) his Godfather. "We'll probably face certain death this year, Mione."

Hermione swatted your arm in feined annoyance at your attempt of a joke. "Don't put that thought into existence Meadow."

You only shrugged as you held the compartment door open for her. Ron was already waiting inside, glaring at Theodore Nott and Pansy Parkinson, who were sat diagonally across from him.

Unlike your Gryffindor companions, you had no issues with the two snakes, in fact they were two people you would consider your closest friends, if it wasn't for the prejudice that went both ways – from your friends and some of their's.

"Stop glaring holes into the sides of their heads, Ron." you scold. "I've told you before, they're my friends. They won't do anything to you."

He said nothing, but he did stop his glaring in favour of greeting the two of you.

The Prefect meeting went on for over an hour and you found yourself zoning out multiple times.

You're going to miss out on important information if you keep daydreaming, tesoro. Theodore. You admired that he was as talented as he was, but it was annoying when he would invade your thoughts. You narrowed your eyes at him.

Stay out of my head, Teddy.

But it's so fun, and so easy. He smirked and turned his attention back to the Head Boy, who was busy assigning roles to the new fifth year prefects. Pansy nudged Theo's arm, breaking his concentration, as she was obviously using her own legillimens ability to berate him. She offered you a smile in apology, which you returned with one of your own.

You'd taken to learning legillimens at the start of fifth year, having read about it in a book you'd taken from the restricted section of the Hogwarts library. You also wanted to protect your mind, especially with the knowledge that Voldemort was back after Harry had returned with Cedric Diggory's dead body at the end of your fourth year.

"Now onto you sixth years." the Head Girl announced. "Like last year, you're going to be paired off for nightly patrols."

She began pairing you off one by one. Hermione was with Ernie Macmillan; Ron was paired with Hannah Abbot; Pansy with your Ravenclaw counterpart and Theodore was paired with you. She then paired off the seventh year prefects before the Head Boy dismissed you all.

~∞~

Ron yawned as he stepped into the corridor. "Thank Merlin that's over. I'm starving."

"You're always hungry, Ronald." Hermione muttered as she walked out behind him, rolling her eyes at his usual ramblings, causing you to laugh at his expense.

"My my, it's a wonder why Dumbledore chose you to be a prefect with that attitude, Weasley." Theodore spoke up from behind you, Pansy at his side, once again shooting you an apologetic smile.

"Piss off, Nott." Ron snarked, turning to face your snickering Slytherin friend, about to take a step towards him when you put a hand on his chest.

"Leave it Ron. He's only trying to get a rise out of you. I'll meet you both in the compartment in a bit." you say, turning to face a smirking Theo with a berating glare.

"Wanted to get me alone, tesoro? Finally. I've waited all these years." he said with a grin, stepping towards you as your Gryffindor friends reluctantly left.

"Don't flatter yourself, Teddy." you say with an eye roll before you turned to Pansy and brought her into a hug. "I've missed you Pans. Good summer?"

"Abysmal." she muttered, sharing a not-so-subtle look with Theo. You looked between them questioningly.

"What happened?" you ask.

Exchanging glancing, they seemed to come to an agreement and Pansy grabbed your hand, dragging you into the closest empty compartment. Theo followed behind the two of you, closing the door and spelling it from unwanted listeners.

"What's with the secrecy? Guys?" you look between them growing more confused by the second.

"Before I tell you, you have to understand, I didn't have a choice, none of us did." Theo emphasises. "I consider you one of my best friends, tesoro. But what I'm about to reveal....it cannot under any circumstances leave this room."

You look at him confused, but the nagging thought that had haunted you all summer suddenly creeped up on your subconscious. Your eyes widened.

"No. Theo don't tell me-" you stutter and he looks away ashamed.

His son is my best friend. My father wants to get into his good graces, I had no choice. Even his voice in your head sounds despondent.

"Oh Teddy." you mumble, wrapping your arms around his waist, hugging him tight.

"I'm to receive the mark during the Christmas holidays." he mumbles dejectively into your hair. "Hell of a Christmas present."

"How good is your legillimens ability?" Pansy asks you. "Can you block people out."

"I have my thoughts locked away into a little mental box, but I'm still working on fully blocking people out." you say, pointedly looking up at Theo, who smiles innocently at you.

"You'll need to practice it then." she says resolutely, but the look on her face indicates nothing pleasant. "Mattheo can help you."

You scoffed. "There is no way Riddle will willingly help me. His father's biggest threat is one of my best friends."

"And you're one of our best friends, Meadow." Pansy says. "Our loyalty to eachother goes both ways. He'll help you, he's the most advanced at it, besides Snape and Dumbledore of course. Trust me."

"What about Harry?" I ask. "And Ron and Hermione, the Order. What am I meant to tell them. They won't be thrilled that I'm taking lessons from you-know-who's son."

"You'll tell them that you're tutoring Mattheo. It's a believable lie. He's shite at Ancient Runes, no matter how much I try to help him." Theo says, nodding his head as a plan forms in his mind. That was true. You don't know how Riddle was still enrolled in that class. "We've already discussed this becoming a possibility. He's more than willing."

"Why are you trusting me with this?" you question, staring between your two friends.

"Like it or not, you're our one way ticket to the right side of this war, tesoro. You know as well as I do that Potter needs as much help as he can get. And you need to protect your mind so that the Dark Lord can't get into your head." Theo says.

"So are you in?" Pansy asks as she heads towards the door. "Because there's no backing out from here, and I really don't want to obliviate one of my dearest friends."

You know the risks. You don't know what this will mean for your current friendships. But you know that Theodore is right. To help Harry, he'll need as much help as possible. Having Theo and Pansy on your side could be a turning point in this brewing war.

"I'm in." you say, nodding your head in agreement. "Just keep the snarky comments to a minimum about Ron, Mione and Harry, please. And relay that message to the rest of your friends too."

"Already done, tesoro." Theo says, ruffling your hair, grinning when you swat his hand away.

You question what he means for a moment when the back of your skull begins to burn with a dull ache. You cradle the back of your neck with your hand, wincing at the sting as Mattheo's deep, raspy voice fills every corner of your mind.

Lessons start tomorrow night, Princess. Don't be late.

He was already in your head, you sighed. It was going to be a long year.

~∞~

You reached the compartment that your other friends occupied at the same time that Harry and Neville seemed to be leaving it.

"Where are you two off to?" you ask as the two boys move away from the open doorway.

"To meet Professor Slughorn." Neville said, although he looked a mixure of nervous and confused.

"Who the hell is that?" you look at Hermione as you go inside, leaving Harry and Neville on their venture.

"New Professor, apparently." she replied. "What took you so long?"

You knew that your friends, minus maybe Harry, had little to no legillimens skills, but nevertheless, you cleared your mind of the conversation you'd had with Theo and Pansy.

"Well Pansy likes a gossip." you said flipantly as you pulled out a book from your never ending bag. "How else are we to know everything that goes on outside of our little circle, now that Lee Jordan is no longer in school?"

Ron and Hermione smile at that, before Ron's face drops.

"Listen, be careful around them this year, yeah." he said, his voice low. "We went to see Fred and George's new shop and watched Malfoy go into Borgin and Burke's with a bunch of known Death Eaters."

Your heart dropped. Theo would be participating in those meeting come Christmas time. That must mean that Draco was already involved.

"Well you know what sort of things they sell there." you say hesitantly. "It probably doesn't mean anything."

Hermione scoffed. "Try telling that to Harry. I think he's convinced that Draco and Riddle have been inducted."

You fall silent shortly after that. The conversation only picking up again when Neville came back to the compartment, Ginny following behind him.

Harry was nowhere in sight.

~∞~

Harry was awol for the rest of the trainride.

When the Hogwarts Express pulled to a stop in Hogsmeade station and you all found a carriage to settle in, he still wasn't there.

"Where on Earth is he?" Mione muttered as the thestrals, that were no longer invisible to you all after Sirius' death, pulled onto the winding road up to the castle.

"He's probably already in a carriage and didn't wait for us. Wouldn't be the first time." Ron assured, although his face betrayed his words as he looked as worried as you and Hermione.

You were unconvinced, and more so when you split off towards the Ravenclaw table when the three of you arrived to the Great Hall and saw, not to your surprise, Mattheo Riddle with bloody and bruised knuckles. As you sat beside Luna Lovegood you felt that same prickling sensation that you did on the train. He was watching you, and he continued to watch you with his cold, unbothered stare through the sorting ceremony and Dumbledore's speech.

Your attention was brought to the doors of the Great Hall where Harry seemed to materialise, Snape's looming figure behind him. But what you noticed the most in the bright glow of floating candles that bothered you more than his lack of punctuality, was the bloody tissue he was dabbing at his recently-fixed broken nose, which he did not have when you last saw him hours earlier.

People stared and whispered as he made his way to where Ron and Hermione were sitting. But your attention was pulled to where Crabbe and Goyle were sat snickering from their seats beside Draco. You narrowed your eyes at Riddle, who was still looking at you.

Got a staring problem, Princess?

Merlin he infuriated you. You focused on him as you thought of your response.

Did you do that to his face?

He smirked. Did I do what?

You didn't give him a response, instead turning your attention to Theo, who was chatting to Lorenzo Berkshire. Did Riddle do that to Harry? You asked and you watched as Theo startled before maintaining the same facade of conversation.

No. It was Draco. Harry was eavesdropping his conversation with Blaise. Matt was with me and Enzo.

Your question was answered, but you were still left unsatisfied. And Riddle's stare had not faltered, which added to your growing bad mood.

Stop fucking staring at me, Riddle. And stay out of my head.

He smirked wickedly and finally looked away, taking the prickling sensation along with him.

~∞~

first post on tumblr after lurking for a year 🫢

i've been a little hyperfixated on the slytherin boys (particularly theo and mattheo) so i thought i'd try out writing a short(ish) fic, but i couldn't be bothered with wattpad (i'm procrastinating finishing a fic on there lol)

i'm also writing this instead of finishing uni assignments that are literally due at the end of the week whoops

[ponderingmoonlight]

How JJK men react to different insecurities Part 2

Pairings: Nanami x reader who doesn't want kids (requested by anons) Gojo x reader who gained weight (requested by anon) Megumi x reader who has a hooked nose (requested by @monikosworld)

Word Count: 3,2k

Warnings: as usual, please don't read if you feel triggered by those topics, Nanami's and Gojo's part are a little angst to extreme fluff, remember you are beautiful just the way you are (all those JJK men agree with me after all) and none of those insecurities take away from that 🤍

Especially for this series I'm very thankful for every feedback in terms of comments, likes and/or reblogs since it's pretty challenging for me to write 🤍

click here for Part 1 with Nanami (reader with facial scars), Megumi (reader with small breasts) and Sukuna (reader with acne)

Also, I wish everyone of you the happiest holidays ever! May all your dreams and wishes come true and remember to stay just the way you are - you are perfect 🌹

Kento Nanami with a reader who doesn't want kids

Your heart skips a beat when his gaze meets yours, his elegant steps trapping you in place. God, how is it possible for a man to be this gorgeous, how is it even allowed for him to look this good? When you first met Kento Nanami, you fell in love with him at first sight. Nothing about this man could ever throw you off.

Except for the stinging fact that he seems like the perfect father.

The way he acts especially around Yuji Itadori warms and breaks your heart at the same time. Even though he never specifically said that he wants to have children someday, you can just tell by the loving gleam in his eyes when Yuji isn’t paying attention how much he cares for that boy. And while you get why he feels this way, it makes your guts turn.

You never wanted kids. Not your own, not adopted, not a single thought of urging for a baby ever crossed your mind. You love your life the way it is, maybe with a pet when you finally settled in, but children? They were never part of the plan.

But this is important, right? How would it even be possible for a romantic relationship to work when such a life-changing decision differs? You don’t even have to ask him about this. The way he always saves children first, how he acts towards the young students, his dad-like appearance when something happens to them. Oh, how you love it and hate it at the same time. Over the past months, you grew very close to each other, spent evening after evening at each other’s places. He began to bring you flowers on a regular basis, even cuddling you to sleep when you come back from an exhausting mission.

You can’t give him more, though. Not when it’s so obvious that you want different things in life, not when your relationship is going to fail before it even started.

“There you are, I searched everywhere for you.”

He presses a gentle kiss against your cheek, making your heart ache in agony all over again. How are you supposed to get out of this? Damn, you don’t even want to get out, you want to be by his side until the end of time, you want to fall asleep and wake up next to this man. But deep down, you know this isn’t fair, that it isn’t possible to live a life like this without giving up your principles or forcing him to give up the thought of having children someday.

“There is something very important I wanted to talk about for a long time. (y/n), you make me feel better than I ever did in my entire life, the time I have with you is so precious to me that I can’t even put it into words. I know this might sound strange and I don’t know if this is the correct way to do it but I was wondering if you…if you want to make it official.”

You feel like fainting and throwing up at the same time, eyes for a single spark of humour in his gleaming orbs. This is great!

Your heart sinks.

No, actually it isn’t. Because this is the time you’ll have to push him away. This innocent question is the end of the wonderful thing you’ve had. Why? Why are you so suborn? Why is the thought of having children so disgusting for you? Aren’t you able to change for the love of your life, for the sake of the strong feelings you have for Kento Nanami?

You shake your head, hands clenched into tight fists. No. There is absolutely no way you’ll gift Kento a child just to keep him. This wouldn’t be fair, right? Fair for you, fair for the child, fair for Kento. He deserves someone who loves this idea truly, someone who is able to give him what he needs.

And that someone isn’t you.

“I can’t give you what you want, Kento.”

Your monotone voice catches him off guard, your words cracking his heart like a walnut. This doesn’t make any sense, it seems almost unbelievable.

“But you are what I want, (y/n).”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”, you bark so suddenly that he flinches, crossing your arms in front of your chest and staring at the ground.

“I can’t give you what you want, the future you deserve.”

“What is it that you’re insecure about? Why would you think there is something you aren’t able to give me?”

“I don’t want kids”, you mutter.

He draws closer, hands about to gently grab your chin when you slap his hand away furious.

“I don’t want kids!”, you shout.

Fuck, why do your eyes have to burn in hot tears right now, why do you have to feel so miserable about this? It’s nothing uncommon, you are enough without having children, you are…

You are not what he wants. And that’s what hurts the most.

Thick silence hangs between both of you, Kento’s hand resting in the air. You don’t even dare to look at him, his face of disappointment would be more than you are able to handle. Why didn’t you tell him sooner? Why did you allow yourself to fall for him when you knew right from the start that this won’t work out long-term?

“Is that what you’re feeling so doubtful about? That you don’t want children?”

You nod silently, the big knot forming in your throat stopping you from saying another word. Breaking down and crying in front of him is the last thing you want to do right now.

“I don’t want children either.”

Oh.

Your glossy eyes dart up in an instant, his hands grabbing yours.

“Even though I will always care and look after children, I don’t want them to carry the burden of this world. I am a jujutsu sorcerer just like you are, we are doomed to risk our lives for the sake of others. I couldn’t forgive myself if I leave a child behind without its father, let alone you. Your wish isn’t a problem for me at all, (y/n).”

You have to blink a few times, mind desperately trying to process his words. The Kento Nanami doesn’t want kids. The thing you were always afraid of…

Isn’t even a problem.

“You don’t want kids as well”, you breathe out.

“I don’t want kids as well, yes.”

“Oh.”

Without hesitation, he pulls you into his arms. Is this a dream? Did it really turn out good? You were always rejected for not wanting children, for disliking the thought of raising a baby. But him, he looks at you with so much affection in his eyes that you almost tear up.

“And I admire you for standing your ground. I know how critical people are when it comes to a person who doesn’t want kids. I always appreciated you for your inner strength, (y/n).”

“I love you, Kento”, you blurt out.

You waste no time. In the matter of seconds, you press your lips longingly against his, set all your feelings free. This is everything you ever dreamed of, all you ever wanted.

Not only did you find a man who accepts you the way you are, but this man happens to me none other than Kento Nanami.

“I love you too, (y/n)”, he mumbles against your lips softly.

Satoru Gojo with a reader who gained some weight

You stare at the number on the scale, eyes watering in defeat. It shouldn’t surprise you that you gained a fair amount of weight. After all, you’ve been so stressed out these past months, roaming from mission to mission and only eating out in consequence. But this, this shocks you. This, this breaks you.

The keys of the main door turn, his long steps linger down the hallways. It’s because of him. Satoru Gojo, your precious boyfriend. The man who fell in love with you years ago and loved you ever since. He is such a good-looking and loving man. And in contrast to you, he’s as fit as he was at the beginning of your relationship.

With a swift motion you lock the bathroom door and let yourself glide down the cold tiles behind you, tears now running down your face like a waterfall. Why do you have to be so damn undisciplined? It shouldn’t be this hard to just eat less, it shouldn’t be this hard to have control over your body.

But it is. And that’s why you’re looking the way you do. It hit you like a wall when your clothes didn’t fit the way they did a few months ago, it almost killed you when a friend of you pointed out what you desperately tried to supress.

“Oh, you gained quite some weight, (y/n)! I almost didn’t recognize you.”

He doesn’t deserve this. No, Satoru deserves a partner who takes care of themselves, he deserves someone who is as fit as himself. Even though not a single negative comment about your body ever left his mouth, you know what he must think – just like everyone else.

And you hate yourself for letting it come this far.

“Babe, are you in there?”

The sound of his fingers knocking against the wooden door makes you panic. No, he can’t see you like this, the only thing you’re wearing is underwear and a t-shirt. The way your thighs giggle with every move, your visible belly, the stretch marks covering your thighs and arms…

He might leave you sooner or later.

“If you’re not answering, I’m just coming in-“

“No”, you interrupt him immediately.

“I don’t want to see you right now.”

It shouldn’t surprise you at all that he opens the door with ease, his feet coming to a stand in front of your cramped-up figure on the floor.

“You never said something like this to me. Hey, are you cryin’?”

Just when you’re about to turn away from him, he lifts you off the ground and presses your body against his faster than you could ever react. You want to hide in a tiny hole, disappear out of his arms. But instead, your eyes are locked with his bright blue orbs.

“What’s wrong babe? I’ve never seen you like this. A snack like you shouldn’t sit here all alone while cryin’.”

“Don’t call me a snack”, you bark at him with more force than intended.

God, how much you hate yourself at the moment. He doesn’t deserve the way you speak to him at all. To be honest, Satoru deserves so much better than you anyway and that fact alone kills you from the inside.

“Why, huh? Am I not allowed to call my girlfriend hot now?”

“I’M FAT, MORON!”

The venomous words escape your mouth before you are able to stop yourself, your pathetic sniffles hollering back at you in disgust. This is so ridiculous. You shouldn’t lash out at him because you feel bad about yourself, you shouldn’t even complain. After all, everything is your own fault.

“You have to be kidding, right? Is this some kind of joke, is a camera behind the mirror?”

You can’t get a hold of yourself anymore. With a swift motion you rip yourself out of his grasp and storm out of the room, not even listening to the things he shouts after you. Isn’t it humiliating enough that he made you say it out loud? Why would you joke about something like this? Your shaky hands grab your keys, ready to leave your shared apartment when he comes storming after you.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. Just look at me, okay?”

Just before you are able to open the door, Satoru’s strong arms grab you from behind and pull you against his chest.

“Don’t you dare to say something like that ever again, (y/n). You’ve been through so much these last months and honestly, I love you more than I ever did before. I’m incredibly proud of the person you’ve became and you’ll always be the hottest chick around. I didn’t even notice that you gained a little weight and I give zero shits about it. You’re hot, you’re gorgeous, you are my girlfriend. And a single number on a random scale will never change that.”

Your whole body begins to tremble as you let yourself fall against him, a sniffle of relief escaping before you are able to stop it. Satoru was never good at playing with words, let alone showing his emotions linguistically. But those oh so sweet words that seem to heal your heart in an instant…

You are truly lucky to have him.

“You really don’t care that I gained some weight?”, you murmur, turning around in his arms in order so see his face.

“I couldn’t care less. And now get your cute ass back at the couch and watch some Netflix, okay?”

Megumi with a reader who has a hooked nose

Megumi can’t help but huff in disappointment when looking at you. There you are again, hiding your gorgeous face behind a mask. You do it day in and day out, stating this is very common and that you don’t want to breathe in all the dust and rubble from the big city.

But you lie. He can tell by the way your eyes dart to the ground and how a slight blush creeps up what’s visible of your cheeks. The first and last time he has seen your gorgeous face was when you wandered around the hallways late at night, obviously not expecting him to be around. You looked so scared back then, your hands instantly covering half of your face.

He always wondered why. Was it because your sense of smell is so good? Is it because he stinks? Instinctively, Megumi lifts up his arm and takes in his own scent. No, it doesn’t seem as if he’s the problem.

“Hi Megumi, how are you today?”

“Why are you always wearing that mask, (y/n)?”

Your heart stops for a second, widen eyes staring at the boy in front of you in nothing but shock. Oh, how often you already tried to fool him, how often you didn’t tell him how you feel. The truth is that you hate the way your nose looks. Every other girl seems to have the perfect little nose, perfectly shaped, cute and innocent.

But you? Your nose is hooked, not straight, tiny or cute by any means. The second you look into the mirror, it seems to stare right through your soul and makes all of your decent facial features fade into the background. Yes, you truly hate the way your nose looks so much that you rather hide it behind a mask each and every day. Especially from him.

Megumi has been your secret crush for quite some time by now, but you never had the courage to tell him, let alone ask him out. Why would he want to be with you anyway? With all those beautiful girls like Nobara and Maki surrounding him, you have nothing to give.

“W-what do you mean?”, you stutter, eyes meeting the ground in an instant.

“You told me over and over you do it because of the dust in the air, but that’s not true, isn’t it? Are you insecure about something?”

“I- you-, M-Megumi…”

You don’t know what to say, completely bamboozled by the way he seems to stare right through your soul. How did he find out you lied? Was it because your cheek turned bright pink? Or was it the fact that you weren’t even able to look in his eyes? Frantically, you try to find a way out of this misery. Maybe a new lie? No, he will smell it from a mile away. Being honest? He’ll definitely make fun of you. But this is Megumi, he isn’t-

“(y/n)”, he interrupts your train of thoughts.

“Let me take of that mask for you.”

You can’t move, let alone talk. With your eyes widen in horror you watch as his hands come closer and closer, fingertips gently gliding behind your ear. This is the moment you’ve been afraid of ever since meeting him. What if he scrunches up his face in disgust? What if he even laughs at you like all those children at school back then?

His eyes roam around your face for what feels like an eternity, face showing not a single emotion. Is this good? Is it bad? Your heart pounds against your ribcage, trembling fingertips intertwined with each other. Please, let this be over soon.

“Maybe I should go-“

“You look absolutely mesmerising. I think I’ve never seen a girl as beautiful as you, (y/n). Why would you hide yourself behind a mask?”

You have to blink a few times in order to process that this is really happening. Yes, Megumi Fushiguro is standing in front of you, looking at nothing but your face while saying that you’re beautiful.

Megumi Fushiguro…Think you’re beautiful?

“B-But…My nose is hooked”, you reply.

“I always thought it makes me look horrible.”

“Horrible?”, he remarks.

“You’re not looking horrible at all. I love the way your nose makes your face looks strong but feminine. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

The butterflies in your stomach slowly but surely go crazy by now. You must be dreaming all of this. It can’t be Megumi standing in front of you and saying all those nice things, right?

“Really?”

He adores the way your face lights up in an instant. How is it possible that you are this surprised? Did no one tell you already how beautiful you are?

“Of course. I mean every word I say. Also, there’s something I wanted to ask you…”

Him, wanting to ask you something? Megumi scratches the back of his head awkwardly while clearing his throat. Is that a little blush creeping up his cheeks?

“Do you…Do you want to go out with me this evening? We could grab something to eat and I don’t know, watch a movie or something.”

“You really want to go on a date with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t let him see how excited you are.

“I’d love that.”

You turn on your heel and walk out of the room frantically. No, you can’t contain yourself any longer. With a cry of joy, you jump up and down, hand gently rubbing over your nose.

Maybe this isn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe all it takes is a single person who does not only accept you, but adore you just the way you are.

Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @chilichopsticks

[vivwritesfics]

I love your Lestappen fics so much!

Could I maybe request a fix of them, were the 3 of them are out Christmas shopping when suddenly Paparazzi surround them and being exactly rude to reader, the boys are just super protective? Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense x

"Okay, so what're we getting for your mother?" Y/N asked Charles and they, along with Max, walked through the shops.

They'd insisted on carrying her things for her, even though they didn't have to. They had at least two bags on each arm, presents for each and every one of their family members.

Charles thought about it. Jewellery. It was definitely going to be jewellery, Charles decided.

As soon as they got Pascale's present out of the way, Y/N decided that they were done. Because they were. They had presents for her parents, her siblings, Charles's mother and brothers, Max's mother, sister and half-siblings.

"Wait a second," said Max, putting most of his bags on his right arm. "We're forgetting my dad."

Y/N let her expression fall. Oh, that was right. They had to get something for Jos. If it was up to her, he would have been getting a carton of rotting milk for Christmas, and Charles would have agreed. But he was still Max's father - he was still family. For as long as Max wanted him around, he was family.

The three of them took one last stole through the shops, looking for something for Jos. He wasn't easy to buy for, especially since Y/N hated him so.

Something from behind them flashed.

Suddenly, there were several flashes as paparazzi swarmed them. They surrounded them as they made their way around the shops.

"I don't like this," Y/N whispered to Max as he and Charles held her close.

Their relationship had been under constant scrutiny since the day they first announced it. They'd been dating for several months before that, keeping things quiet for just this reason. Paparazzi made her uneasy, since every time they found the throuple, they shouted abuse at her, trying to provoke a reaction out of her boyfriends.

They'd called her every name under the sun, a slut, a whore, a bitch, a cu-

Anything you could think of, they said. So, when the paparazzi surrounded them, they rushed to get her back to the car. Max pushed several paparazzi out of the way, pushing them in a way that wouldn't land them a lawsuit.

The boys were so fucking protective of her. They'd save her from anything.

[atombombkaytee]

I’ve watched the entire series again today in a hungover state and I CAN’T DEAL with all the parallels.

I mean, when Lucy finds out about her Dad’s true actions and origins - her whole world falls apart. She saw the vaults as safety - she looked up to her Dad more than anyone else in the world. She learns that he’s lied about who he is as a man and as her father, but also she must realise that the vault’s are hiding their own dirty secrets (especially after her experience at vault 4) and that her Dad is a part of that too. She even says to Max, after leaving vault 4, that if she destroyed a whole community to save him, he would be heartbroken: when that’s exactly what he did on an even grander and more terrible scale. Lucy’s life wasn’t even in direct danger to warrant that reaction - he’s just an insecure selfish arsehole.

At the very same time we see the flashback scene of Coop hearing Barb suggest that they drop the bombs on America. This woman that he loves and trusts and has made a family with - who he said he fell in love with because she always tries to do the right thing. Their reactions at the point of realisation - shock, inability to speak, almost dissociation - are both extremely similar. Him having gone through that betrayal before (and likely plenty of times since) is EXACTLY why he talks to Lucy how he does. He’s preparing her for the eventual heartbreak - because he has experience which states that nothing could ever be as perfect as she claims her life is. When he’s making ass jerky from Roger, he even tells her: there’s what people say they do and then there’s what they really do.

When you look at all of that, really, in the scheme of things, Coop - the man that she’s seen as this inhuman, cruel, murderous monster - he’s the good guy. He too thought his wife’s business with vault tec was abhorrent. Yes, he’s been warped and twisted by the wasteland and by his own trauma - but he does see this brightness in Lucy. He thought she was just naive and full of bullshit (especially being a vault dweller. Something which I’m sure triggered him considering his past with vault tec and the links to his wife) but when she proved herself by giving him the vials instead of letting him die, he’s probably amazed that there’s someone left in the world who isn’t just a liar and a terrible person. He’s so used to betrayal and violence by this point. She’s a good person - a trait that he literally said he was in love with his wife because of. She softens him.

But she also proves herself in another way - by shooting her feralled mother - showing that she’s also grown and learnt that not everything is black and white. It’s not just “good and bad” in this world. And although Coop has questionable morals, he’s honest, like her. He tells it how it is. Plus, after her Dad’s huge life changing betrayal and her time in the wasteland, she understands a little more why Coop has done all the things that she’s seen him do - I mean he did meet her pretty much day one out of the vault initially - hence why she goes with him. He has hardened her up to protect her in the wasteland.

Wilzig even says “will you still want the same things when you’re a different animal altogether.”

My god. It’s just genius. Absolutely genius.

“You comin’?”

Edit: Can we also talk about how Coop is basically the inspiration for the vault boy - who Lucy basically looks to (physically a few times throughout the series) for inspiration to do the right thing. AND the fact that her Dad was obviously a bit obsessed with Coop and probably still was when Lucy was born, seeing as he’d been in a pod and had only just woken up, retaining recent memories. So Lucy likely watched all of his films and her Dad maybe even saw him as a bit of a role model (or at least his in-film characters). AND the obvious exchange of index fingers. Yup. Honestly if this relationship doesn’t become cannon, I will start dropping bombs too.

ANOTHER EDIT: Sorry one last thing but, I just want to add: nothing that post-war Coop does is personal. It’s either: to get a job done, survival, because he’s been triggered by something (understandable after what’s he been through) or, in Lucy’s case, to teach a (admittedly often harsh) lesson. He doesn’t just mindlessly kill - or particularly enjoy killing - he just has no issue with it, it’s all just means to an end. He even still remembers to pay for his tomatoes in Filly ffs haha… I imagine he’s extremely numb and devoid of all feeling - except for when it comes to his wife and little girl. That’s the only time we see more visceral reactions in either actions or dialogue from him. He’s such an intricate character and Walton did an amazing job of portraying him.

[holylulusworld]

TOL - I’m your daddy now (1) - Lloyd Hansen

Summary: You reached the end of the rope.

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader

Warnings: plus-sized reader, needy Lloyd, Lloyd being Lloyd, Lloyd is an ass and boob enthusiast, mentions of sex for money, money trouble, mentions of cheating (her ex), groping, slight mommy kink (kinda, it's Lloyd)

A/N: This is part of my Traders of love (lust) masterlist series. It's the prequel to TOL - Like a virgin (Bucky Barnes) and tells the story about Lloyd and his assistant sunshine.

You reached the end of the rope. 

With your three-year-old little boy depending on you, it’s not easy to face reality. In two weeks, you will have to leave your home. The bank will take the house, and even the wreck of a car you call your own.

Your deadbeat of a husband left you with nothing but debs and resentment for men. He’s out and about with a younger, prettier, and slimmer girl. – His words, not yours.

While you tried to save your marriage, he fucked some woman he met at a bar behind your back. You knew he was a sleazy and worthless bastard, but never expected him to turn his back on his son too.

It’s not that you didn’t try anything to make enough money to pay for the mortgage and feed your son. One too many nights you went to bed hungry, only lukewarm water in your belly to at least save enough money to buy food for your baby boy.

“Mommy,” your little boy yawns as he looks up at you. He holds out his chubby hands, whining because you don’t pick him up. You just look at him for a moment, feeling your heart chatter all over again.

“How could I ever fall for your father,” you sniffle when you pick your son up. You peck his cheek and sigh. “At least he gave me you. The only good thing coming out of this relationship.”

You nuzzle his cheek and try to ignore the ache in your chest, and your growling stomach. At least you got paid yesterday. It’s not enough to keep the house for another month, but you can get food on the table.

Whatever happens tomorrow, you don’t know. The website you found promised help in hopeless situations. You never know with the internet, but it’s your last resort.

If they don’t keep their promises, you’ll end up on the street with your son only because your husband ran off with all of your savings. He even stole the money your grandmother left you for desperate times.

“Hi, uh-I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I have an appointment,” you wring your hands while looking around the lobby of the building inheriting the company promising to save your home. The woman at the reception doesn’t even look your way. She huffs and lifts her perfectly manicured index finger to stop you from talking.

“I don’t think you are what we are looking for,” she snaps at you, and your heart sinks. You look down at your body, sighing deeply. The business outfit you are wearing is a tight fit. You gained weight during pregnancy you never got the chance to lose. “You should go home and bake cookies for your kid.”

She points her finger at the stain on your blouse, simply to embarrass you even more. Some women are like that. They try to feel better, or above you by making you feel small.

“Kiki, that is enough,” you flinch when a hand brushes over your ass. The man pats your cheeks, humming happily. “What do we have here?” He purrs and gropes one cheek. “A perfect plump ass.”

“Mr. Hansen, Sir,” the woman splutters. She looks like she saw a ghost, or worse, a monster wanting to eat her alive. “I told her that she doesn’t belong here.”

“Kiki, Kiki,” Hansen tuts while patting your ass. “I decide who belongs here.”

You don’t know what to do. Usually, you’d slap any guy trying to feel you up across the face or kick their balls. But this man could be your way out of your financial crisis. 

“Yes, of course, Mr. Hansen but just look at her,” she squeaks, and points at you. “I don’t think any of our clients want something like this to fulfill their…”

“ENOUGH!” Hansen slams his fist onto the receptionist's desk, making Kiki flinch. “We never talk about our clients nor our employees in front of people outside of our organization. You are dismissed.”

“What?” She stares at Hansen in disbelief. “For today or…”

“Forever,” he huffs and turns around. The man brushes his index finger and thumb over his mustache and grins like he saw something he’d love to devour. You are afraid it’s you.

“I have an appointment,” you clear your throat and try to ignore your heart hammers in your chest. This man looks more like a wolf, with sharp teeth and glowing eyes, than a man. 

“I know, sunshine,” he smirks and holds out his hand. “Please excuse my annoying assistant. She’s no longer working for me.”

You’d love to roll your eyes at the man in front of you. He’s one of the guys who believe you must immediately fall for his charm and non-existent manners. 

“If you’d like to follow me inside my office, sugar plum,” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, and snickers, "we can talk about your problems and how to solve them.”

“So…” He plops down on a leather couch. He pats the seat next to him, but you prefer standing in the room. “What brings you here, sunshine. How can Lloyd help you?”

“I found your website while searching for a way to keep my house,” you lick your lips. You hate that you must talk about your situation with this man. 

“Humor me,” he smirks and pats the seat again. “If you want me to help you, I want to know it all. From the beginning.”

He tilts his head and looks you up and down. “What do you want to know?” You huff and cross your arms over your chest. “I came here, even though your offer sounded fishy. I reached the end of the rope.” You throw your hands up, and sniffle.

“Now, now. No tears in Lloyd Hansen’s office,” he gets up to march toward you. Lloyd cups your face and tilts your head. “I need to know every detail, sunshine. If you are lying, I’ll send you home with a slap to your plump ass.”

“Fine,” you snap at him and push against his chest. “Quit pro quo, Mr. Hansen. After I told you everything about my situation, I want the truth about your offer.”

“Be my guest,” he smirks darkly. “I hope you don’t pee your pants getting to know the truth.”

“I came this far,” you sniff, “you don’t scare me, Mr. Hansen. You’re not the first man wanting me to fail.” 

“A cocky one, I see,” Lloyd says as he sits back down on the sofa. “Begin, then.”

“What do you want to know? That my deadbeat of a husband left me for some bitch he met at a bar?” You drop your bag onto his desk and take your jacket off. “Or that I must raise my three-year-old son without him because his dick was more important?”

You stride toward Lloyd and step between his legs. He looks up at you, amused as you cup your tits. “I will lose my house and my car. I don’t make enough money to keep the house. He stole the money I spared to give her a nice life.”

“I see,” he licks his lips. “I think you already got what I have to offer.” Lloyd tilts his head and smirks as you start to unbutton your blouse.

“You want me to fuck you, right? That’s all this is about,” you wrinkle your nose. “And I’ll get the money I need to keep my house.”

He grins now. “Sunshine, you didn’t get that this is about business. I’ll put you on my website and my clients can decide if they want to fuck you or not.”

“Oh…” You sigh deeply. “I guess this means there is no hope.” You turn around to grab your bag. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Sunshine, wait,” he’s on his feet before you can grab your jacket. “I didn’t say you can just leave. Don’t you want to end up getting fucked good by my clients?”

“Do you honestly believe I was waiting to get fucked by random douches,” you turn back around and slap Lloyd with your bag. “I came here to find help, not dick.”

His grin widens as you slap his chest, face, and shoulder with your bag. “Careful, sunshine. If you don’t watch out, you’ll end up making me rock hard.”

“You’re disgusting,” you wrinkle your nose and cock a brow. 

“Oh, mommy can get mad,” he purrs and roams your body with his eyes. “I bet you are a strict mommy, huh? Do you scold your baby boy?”

“No!” You snap at Lloyd. “Keep my son out of this!” You slap him with your bag again. “Never mention my kid again, you asshole!”

“I knew you were special, sunshine,” he chuckles and grabs your wrist to keep you from slapping him again. “A wildcat ready to scratch and bite me.”

“I’m a tiger mommy if you want to know,” you growl and snap your teeth at Lloyd when he tries to press his lips to yours. “I’ll do anything to protect my son.”

“Sunshine, you’ve got yourself a deal,” Lloyd drops his hands from your arms to grab your face again. This time he kisses you roughly. You bite his lower lip, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He greedily shoves his tongue inside your mouth, devouring your mouth. “I think you’ll make a grand-prime assistant slash sexy bunny for me…”

Part 2

[afictionaladventure16]

Hey! I love your Tim Bradford x teen! Reader fics! Was wondering could you do another one? Reader reconnects with someone they met through the system who's had a rough go. Maybe they were in the same house for a while and relied on each other a lot in that house to keep each other safe. But as they reconnect reader doesn't realise how toxic the relationship is. Tamara knows the dodgy stuff that the kid gets up to from her time in the system and warns Lucy and Tim because she doesn't want reader to fall back into bad habits with them. Maybe reader gets in trouble and calls Tamara to save them?

Reconnections and Regrets (Tim Bradford x Teen!Foster!Reader)

The Rookie Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of guns and drugs

Summary: After trying to reconnect with people in the past, y/n realizes quickly why the past should stay in the past.

Author's note: I feel like this one wasn't the best fic I've done so far. I really liked this idea for the fic, though! I hope you enjoy it! Send in some more Tim Bradford x Teen!reader angsty fics!

You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t get back into your old habits. 

That you would forget your past and move forward, just like Tamara had done, and just as every other kid within the system wishes they could do. To have the ability to find someone to take you under their wing and help you forget your past. An opportunity to start over. 

But here you were, texting an old friend with plans to catch up later that afternoon. You couldn’t help but smile at the messages, you were excited to catch up with old friends. But most of all, you were excited to catch up with a special someone that you hadn’t seen since Tim took you in. 

The special someone was a boy named Jacob, the two of you had been in a foster home together when you were younger and he protected you from your foster father and well, you tried to do the same. You couldn’t help but develop feelings for him over the years. 

The last you heard about him was that he was living with his cousin, from what you knew, this cousin was bad news and you could not help but worry about Jacob living there. Especially since he stopped responding to your messages when he moved in with his cousin. It felt like he had just pushed you away. 

“What are you smiling about?” Tamara asked as she sat on the couch beside you. You had come over since Tim wasn’t home yet, and well, since Lucy and Tim were dating it now felt like you had two homes instead of one. 

“Nothing,” you responded. 

You could feel Tamara peeking over your shoulder to look at your phone, you quickly locked it and put it on your lap. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re talking to Jessica,” she pleaded. 

“Alright, I won’t.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Y/N, you know how I feel about her.” 

“Look, I’m just trying to reconnect, what harm-” 

“You know what can happen. You gotten out of that life and now you’re trying to go back? You get Starbucks on the daily, you’re in the cheer team and you go to a self-defense class for crying out loud. You’re not the same girl you used to be, so don’t think they’ll be coming at you with open arms.” 

You gave her a small glare, “Stop acting like you don’t think about going back to see your old friends from time to time.” You got up from the couch, “Maybe instead of focusing so much on my life, you should take a look at yours first.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tamara asked as she followed you as you walked towards the door, “Where are you going?” 

“Out,” you stated as you walked out of the apartment. 

“Fuck,” Tamara exclaimed. Maybe she should’ve kept her mouth shut, but she felt she had to say something, otherwise, you would end up hurt. But now she felt like she had made things worse. 

On the other hand, you were annoyed by how she was right and maybe you got angry with her out of fear. Fear that maybe your friends, like Tamara had said, wouldn’t be as inviting as you think they would be. You hadn’t just changed through your personality but through your appearance too. You now had someone who would take you shopping for clothes you always wanted to wear, but never did out of fear of them getting stolen or taken from you. 

You acted like a completely different person now. A person who learned to trust a little more easily and you now weren’t afraid to just be yourself. 

On my way over, you sent it to Jessica. 

It wouldn’t take long for you to get back to the old neighborhood, it was a twenty-minute bus ride away. Or thirty minutes walking, but with the Los Angeles heat, you’d take your chances with the bus. 

~~ 

A couple of hours passed, and Tamara had not received anything from you. Beginning to worry had already surpassed, she was the definition of completely terrified of what could go wrong. She should’ve texted Tim or Lucy the second you left, but she wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but not the guilt was eating away at her. She let out a frustrated groan and called Lucy. 

Lucy picked up after a few rings, “What’s up?” 

“Look before you start yelling, I was trying to warn her okay?” 

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows, “What happened?” 

“Please don’t be mad, but Y/N was here and I saw her messaging one of her old friends and we got into an argument about it and now she’s not responding and I’m scared she’s gonna fall back into some bad habits, especially because this girl is known for doing certain things.” 

“How long ago did she leave?” Lucy asked. 

“Like two hours ago,” Tamara confessed. 

“And you’re barely calling me?” Lucy raised her voice, but quickly let out a sigh, “Do you think she went to see this friend?” 

“I know she did,” Tamamra hesitantly said. 

“Alright, for now, we’ll just see things out. We can’t just go there all guns blazing when there is no trouble,” Lucy stated. Although, she wanted to go all guns blazing because she was worried for Y/N’s safety. 

“Are we going to tell Tim?” 

“Tim already knows,” Tim announced. Tamara could hear the anger in his voice, and the fact that he never said anything until now, meant that he was indeed angry. 

“Look, just keep us updated, let us know if you hear anything from her, alright?” Lucy said. 

“Alright,” Tamara hung up the phone. 

Lucy didn’t say anything to Tim, she waited until he did, but he remained silent. 

Lucy let out a deep breath, “do you want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Tim asked. 

Lucy rolled her eyes, “About Y/N sneaking off to see her old friends? I mean, it’s obvious that you’re angry.” 

“I’m not angry.” 

“You’re not?” She asked in almost disbelief. 

“I’m disappointed. I thought she trusted me enough to tell me things, well, I thought we had gotten to that point. Now I feel like we hadn’t made any progress at all.” 

“You know that’s not true,” Lucy began to say. 

“Is it?” Tim cut her off, “because from my perspective, it doesn’t look good. I love this kid and I want to be more than just another foster home for her, but almost every time we get close to making a breakthrough she pushes me away.” 

Lucy sighed, she felt that maybe with her experience with Tamara, she would know what to say, but somehow this was different. “Just give her some time,” Lucy suggested. 

Tim wanted to say that he had given her all the time in the world, but that made it sound like he was giving up, and he didn’t want to give up. He just wished he knew what to do. 

~~ 

You had been with Jessica walking around your old neighborhood for the past two hours, hoping to run into Jacob and it didn’t take you too long. 

From a distance, you can see Jacob at the park talking to some guys that looked to be older. 

Jessica smirked as she watched you stare at Jacob from a distance, “you know he still asks about you.” 

You scoffed, “really?” she gave you a nod, “yet he won’t return a text.” 

“He thinks he’s too tough for all that shit now, he even dropped out of school,” Jessica commented. She walked in front of you, “We should go over there,” she suggested. 

Now that you were here, you had a sort of fear lingering in the back of your head. You knew the chances of hanging out with Jacob meant that you could get into trouble, but that voice inside of your head just wanted to talk to him once more. 

You shrugged, “I don’t know.” 

“Oh come on, Y/N. Don’t act like your main purpose for hitting me up was so you could see him again,” Jessica grabbed your hand and began leading you to the park. That fear within the back of your head was beginning to get louder the closer you got to Jacob. 

“Maybe I should go home,” you began to say. Jacob was only steps away and at the sound of your voice he quickly turned around. 

“No way,” he said with a smile on his face. “Ain’t no way she came back to see us,” he exclaimed as you sighed and walked up to him. “For a second I was beginning to think you were too good for us.” 

You rolled your eyes at his comment, “How you’ve been?” you asked. 

He glanced over at his friends then diverted his eyes back at you, “I’ve been decent.” Jessica walked over to his friends, of course she would know who they were. She was quick to strike up a conversation with them. Jacob took a couple of steps away from the group, gesturing for you to get closer. 

“I heard you’re staying with your cousin,” you began. 

“You shouldn’t have come back, Y/N,” Jacob warned. “You got out and I’m proud that you did.” 

“It’s not too late for you to do the same,” you commented. 

He shook his head, “I’m too deep in this shit.” You knew what that meant. You knew that his chances of getting out of this life were gone. “You really shouldn’t have come back, people know you’re staying with a cop. My cousin knows,” he began. 

Your heart began to race, “Why did you stop texting me back?” You asked. You had to ask before you left, you knew his cousin had beef with cops and anyone associated with them. 

“You left and well, I had to go with my cousin and that meant-” 

“I know,” you interrupted, not wanting to hear him say it. To hear him say that he stopped talking to you not just for your own good, but his as well. 

“You really should go,” he began to say. From the distance you could hear the roar of an engine, it caught Jacob’s attention. “Fuck,” he whispered. 

“Sounds like your cousin is back,” One of the other guys began to say. 

You looked over at Jessica, “we should go,” you said. 

Jessica opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the roar of the engine, a second later a car came into view and parked in the parking lot of the park. 

A guy came out of the car and began making his way over to the group, “So the rumors are true,” he began to say. “Jacob’s little girlfriend is back,” He smirked. 

“Hey, Frankie,” you said. 

“Is that all I get? Hey Frankie?” He scoffed before looking over at Jacob, “I need you to come with me,” he began as he glanced over at you, “and bring your little girlfriend.” 

“No, Frankie. You already know she liv-” 

“Did you just tell me no?” Frankie interrupted Jacob. “Do you not remember the last time I had to put you in your place?” Jacob clenched his fists, “or do you need a refresher?” 

“Fine,” Jacob grabbed a hold of your hand, “let’s go.” 

“Wait, what? I-I need to go home,” you pleaded. 

“No, no,” Frankie began, “you’re coming with us now.” 

You felt your anxiety rise within you, this is what Tamara had warned her about. This is what she was afraid of and now it was too late. 

“Jacob,” you whispered to him as soon as you stepped away from Frankie, “Where are we going?” 

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I told you, you shouldn’t have come back.” 

You remained silent, the best thing you could do right now was to stay calm. 

Frankie drove the two of you two a house down the street, he led the two of you inside, “Dude, what the fuck, why did you bring us here?” 

“I told you I wanted to show the business,” Frankie said. 

“And you thought it was wise to bring her here?” Jacob commented. You looked around to see equipment you couldn’t recognize and powder inside blenders. You knew what was happening here wasn’t good at all, it was a lab of some sorts. A shitty one at that. 

“I want her to see what we’re doing, if she says anything then I know who ratted us out,” Frankie stated. 

Jacob shook his head, “that is the stupidest thing you have ever said. I swear you’ve lost it since you started using.” 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” 

“Did you not hear yourself? You want her to purposely rat us out, for what? For us to lose everything?” 

Frankie pulled out a gun and aimed it at you, “So then should I just shoot her?” 

Your eyes widen, “What the fuck, Frankie!” Jacob exclaimed as he stood in front of you. You clung to Jacob’s arm, you could feel tears beginning to well up in your eyes. 

One of the guys from earlier came running in, “We got a problem.” 

Frankie sighed and put his gun back in his belt, “what?” 

“Enrique is here and I don’t think he wants to talk anymore.” 

Frankie looked at the man with anger in his eyes, “Stay here,” he told Jacob before walking out front. You pulled out your phone as soon as Frankie left. 

“What are you doing?” Jacob asked. 

“I-I was in over my head coming here,” You began as you looked for Tamara’s contact. 

Jacob rolled his eyes, “Calling your cop dad is just going to get me locked up,” He commented. 

“You wanted me to go, so now I’m calling my friend to get me the fuck out of here,” you stated. You heard a gunshot coming from outside, before you could even ask Jacob anything, he ran outside. You called Tamara, hoping she would pick up fast and that she wouldn’t say a word about this to Tim. 

“Y/N!” Tamara exclaimed. 

“Tamara,” you choked out, “I-I need your help.” 

Tamara face fell, “Where are you?” 

“I don’t know, we were at the old neighborhood and Frankie showed up and he-he’s on something and it looked like he wanted to show Jacob a-” Another gunshot rang outside, you jumped to the sound. You ran from your spot in the living room, you found a bathroom in the hallway. 

“What was that?” Tamara asked. 

You closed the door behind you, locking it before jumping inside the tub. “Please, help me.” 

“Okay, okay, stay on the phone. I’m gonna connect Lucy okay?” Tamara quickly added Lucy to the call. “Please pick up,” Tamara said to herself. 

“Tamara,” Lucy began, “you hear anything from Y/N?” 

“Lucy,” you said. 

“Y/N?” 

“Lucy, I added you to the call,” Tamara explained. 

Lucy quickly put the phone on speaker, Tim was quick to understand what was going on. 

“Y/N, Hon are you okay?” Tim asked. 

Just hearing his voice made you feel even more guilty, you felt the tears fall down your cheeks, “I’m sorry,” you choked out. 

“Y/N, honey, it’s okay, right now I need you to tell me if you’re okay, are you hurt in any way” Tim reassured. 

“N-No,” you stated. 

“Good, where are you?” 

“I-I don’t know. Some house in the old neighborhood.” 

“Y/N, do you think you can share your location with me?” Lucy suggested. 

You placed the phone on speaker as you went on your phone to share your location, “There,” you stated. 

“There it is,” Lucy said. 

“Let’s go,” Tim said as he placed the shop in drive. 

Another gunshot ranged through the air, “What was that?” Tamara asked. 

“That sounded like a gun,” Tim stated as he drove. 

You stayed on the phone with them until they had gotten there. You had hung up the phone once they arrived, You could hear the gunshots coming from outside, meaning that Lucy and Tim’s presence wasn’t welcomed. Sirens were coming from the distance, you felt a little at ease knowing that backup was coming. 

Still, you remained in the bathroom until it was safe. The shots subsided and you heard footsteps within the house. A few seconds later someone knocked on the door, “Y/N?” Tim called out. 

You quickly got up from your position in the bathtub and opened the door. Before Tim could even react, you had your arms wrapped around his torso, he let out a relieved sigh as he hugged you back. 

“I’m sorry,” you cried out. 

“It’s okay,” He said as he gently rubbed your back. “It’s alright, let’s just go home.” 

You agreed, following him outside. You looked around for Jacob, making eye contact with him as he sat inside one of the shops. Tim had noticed, he knew that you needed this closure with your past, “hey, roll down the window,” he told the officer who sat inside the shop. He did as he was told. 

Jacob stayed silent, “I guess this is goodbye,” you began to say. 

“Next time, stay out of this neighborhood,” he warned. You gave him a nod, “And if there is a next time, I probably won’t be as inviting.” 

Tim gestured for the cop to roll up the window, he knew you didn’t need to hear more. “There won’t be a next time,” you whispered as you walked away from the shop. 

“Y/n!” you heard Tamara call out. 

“Tamara!” You ran up to her, she engulfed you in a hug. “I’m sorry for everything I said.” 

“It’s the past now,” she said. “Let’s just forget about it,” she said as she let go of the hug. 

“Tamara is gonna take you home until my end of shit,” Tim stated. “We’ll talk then, alright?” 

You gave him a nod, following Tamara to her car. 

“If there is anything I learned today, it’s that the past is the past,” you said once you got in the car. “And you’re right, I’m not the same girl I was a year ago.” 

“We’re lucky,” Tamara began, “Not a lot of us get this opportunity in life and when we do, we do everything we can to not go back.” Tamara started the car. You knew that you wouldn’t come back to this life, but something within you was going to miss it. Miss the little moments of happiness that made you feel like you had a home, but now you had an actual home. It wasn’t the ideal home, but it was a home and you had someone who gave you a sense of family even if it wasn’t picture-perfect. 

[azrielslightintheshadows]

hello please could i request one where the reader was part of the inner circle for centuries and they were all very close. however, once the sisters come into the picture, they, without realising, neglect the reader and don’t realise until something happens to the reader, like her falling deathly sick or very badly injured etc. reader can be mated with any of the batboys, maybe with all three ;) very angsty with grovel and comfort 💗

ps love your writing 💗

My mate.

Bat boys x f!Reader (Mainly Azriel x f!Reader)

Warnings; mentions of abuse, trauma, scars and blood. Swearing.

Masterlist.

Sooo, the ending is not exactly what you asked me to write, but the story took me there. If you don't like it I can rewrite it :)

You were a toddler when your father found out that your mother had an affair with a lesser fae that resulted in you. He waited until your mother fell asleep and carried you into the Illyrian woods, he left you there with your blanket and returned home. You never found out what happened to your mother, and you didn’t care at all. Rhysand’s mother found you the next morning hiding under a tree’s root, she wiped your tears and carried you to her home. That was how you met Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel. You all grew up together, your friendship getting stronger as the years passed and a few months before Rhysand got trapped under the mountain the mating bond snapped.

You were training with Cassian when it happened. He kicked your legs making you fall on your back, your hands instantly grabbed his shoulders and you took him down with you. His face a few inches away from yours as you stared at each other, and it snapped. Both of you burst into laughter and immediately kissed. Rhysand and Azriel were ecstatic when they found out, congratulating both of you and talking about the mating ceremony.

Two days later you asked Azriel to take you to the city. You wanted to get the ingredients you would need to make Cassian’s favorite cake. You were flying back to the house of wind when you looked at Azriel’s face admiring his beauty as the sun fell on him, he glanced down at you and the bond snapped. You almost fell off the sky from the shock. When you landed you both ran to the library, trying to find a book that explained the situation. You didn’t find one. That night during dinner you announced it, both of you staring at Cassian and waiting for his reaction. He grinned and hugged Azriel shouting “We’re going to have so much fun”. Rhysand was smiling as he watched the scene, yet you didn’t miss the hurt that flashed in his eyes.

The next day Rhysand came into your room to ask you a few things about the mating ceremony, he wanted to know where you wanted it to happen and which priestess you preferred. You explained to him how you had imagined that moment, your eyes shining as you spoke and your cheeks heating up. He admired your face and pushed one strand of hair behind your ear making the bond snap into place. Both your faces paled as you stared at each other. He gulped and immediately called the others in his mind. You explained to them what happened, and their jaws dropped.

“Mother’s tits! Do we expect more mates to come?” Cassian exclaimed while Azriel shook his head.

You somehow managed to have a relationship without problems, the boys did everything in their power to keep you safe and happy and you managed to give everyone the same amount of attention. Then Feyre burst into your life, Rhysand became her friend under the mountain and when he found out that Tamlin was mistreating her, he sent Mor to take her. You didn’t mind that she took all your mate’s attention from you, you felt like you owed to her for saving him and Prythian. Afterall Cassian and Azriel were giving you enough attention, and you didn’t want to be greedy. But after a year her sisters were made, and Rhysand took them in to help them and everything changed. Cassian spent most of his time with Nesta and Azriel with Elain. They would cancel your dates, they wouldn’t show up for dinner leaving you alone with four cold plates and most importantly they would come to bed after you had fallen asleep and leave before you woke up.

When you confronted them about it, Cassian and Rhys called you selfish and greedy and stormed off. Azriel looked at you with guilt and quickly left when you screamed “get out”.  You couldn’t believe what was happening and you stayed back and watched your mates slowly falling in love with other females.

It had been a month since the last time you shared your bed with them, your relationship was non-existent, and you were slowly healing your heart. You got ready to go to the Hewn city to handle some problems Keir had caused. As usual no one was home so with a sigh you winnowed away. You were walking down the main hall of the castle when two males pounced on you from behind. You grabbed your dagger, but you were too late, one of them had already caught your wrist while the other one stabbed you repeatedly on your back. Your screams shook the whole court and you instantly opened the bond sending every ounce of pain to your mates. Black dots clouded your vision slightly, and your body went numb. You could only feel the adamant walls Rhys and Cassian had built around the bond and suddenly a wave of fear and rage. “Az” you whispered.

Shadows came like a wave in the room, and Azriel emerged from them, Truth-Teller in hand, his wings stretched wide and a deadly expression. The males took a few steps back with wide eyes as they saw your mate walking slowly towards them like a predator ready to pounce. You now understood why they called him God of death and goosebumps filled your body. You only heard screams and cries and bones cracking before a bloodied hand grabbed your shoulder and turned you on your back making you cry out in pain.

“Shh its okay I’ve got you angel” Azriel whispered and picked you up.

“I love you” you whispered before the darkness engulfed you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A groan left your lips as you tried to open your eyes.

“I’m here angel” Azriel’s deep voice rang in your ears.

“Az?” you asked and forced your eyes to open. The light burned your vision and in a blink Azriel’s shadows blocked the sun. He was sitting on a chair next to you, still covered in blood the only difference was that it had dried now.

“You’re okay” he smiled.

“What happened to them?” you croaked.

“I wanted to let them for you, but I couldn’t, I felt so much rage… I’m sorry” he lowered his gaze.

“It’s okay my love. Thank you.” You said softly.

The door opened and Rhysand walked in with Cassian behind him.

“You’re awake” Rhys gasped, and you nodded.

“Thank the Cauldron its been two days” Cassian exclaimed and grabbed your hand. You flinched and pulled your hand back harshly.

“Don’t” you snapped, and he frowned.

“Where were you when I needed you?” you yelled, your eyes filling with tears. “Both of you! If it wasn’t for Azriel I would be dead now!”

“Sweetheart we didn’t feel you” Rhys said softly.

“I know! Because you blocked the fucking bond! Where were you?” you sat straighter and with a soft whine that made Azriel growl and move closer.

“Y/n…” Cassian tried to speak but you stopped him.

“Where. The. Fuck. Were. You?”

“I was training Nesta” he mumbled and stared at the ground. You glanced at Rhysand who had a guilty look on his face.

“I was helping Feyre write a letter to Helion” he said.

“Get out!” you screamed. “Now! Get the fuck out… get out… get out!”

Azriel jumped on his feet and glared at his brothers, daring them to not listen to you. They quickly left the room, their faces red and their eyes filled with tears. Azriel quickly fetched a glass of water and gave it to you.

“Calm down angel” he mumbled as he placed a soft kiss on your head. “Don’t act like the perfect mate, you were ignoring me too.” You growled.

“I know and it broke my heart” his voice was soft and filled with regret.

“Then why did you do it?” your voice was raising.

“Because you have two perfect mates, a High Lord and a General. You don’t need a scarred monster to defile you!” he snapped.

“What? Are you serious?” your hands shook with rage.

“Yes! I’m a broken beast… you deserve way better”. He was yelling now. “You’re not! What the hell are you talking about? You are the exact opposite. Az you’ve been protecting me since the day you met me, you are the only one who cares about my day and my feelings, the only one who comforts me when I’m sad. You’ve proved multiple times that you would give your life for me. I don’t give a fuck about your scars, I love them. Would you leave me because of the scars on my back? Because I’m sure that they will not heal completely, I can feel them.”

“I would never leave you” his voice was barely above a whisper now.

“Okay shut up then.” You said and he chuckled.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A few days later Madja announced that you are completely healed and offered to make a salve for your scars, but you denied. You wanted to show Azriel that its okay to have scars.

Cassian and Rhysand frequently checked on you, they would lurk around you with sad looks on their faces.

Azriel only left your side to get you whatever you needed. He even asked Elain to come to your room and he told her that he has a mate who he loves with all his heart and that he doesn’t want to spend time with her anymore. She nodded and left with her head bowed, a few days later she went on a date with Lucien.

You were currently getting ready for dinner, you had asked everyone to come because you had an announcement to make. Azriel was sitting on your bed behind you while you got dressed.

“Az can you help me with the zipper?” you asked as you checked your reflection on the mirror.

He got up with a smile and approached you. His hands traced your scars, his breath hitching as he leaned and pressed soft kisses on every scar making you shudder.

“So beautiful” he murmured on your back as he zipped your dress slowly. You smiled and leaned back into him.

“Let’s go handsome” you said softly, and he chuckled.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Everyone was sitting around the table waiting for you. Azriel pulled one chair for you, and you smiled thankfully. Cassian and Rhysand were staring at you with a guilty expression. You all ate in silence and after three glasses of wine you felt ready to speak so you stood up.

“I made a decision” you announced getting everyone’s attention. Nesta and Feyre nodded while Cassian and Rhys stared with panicked expressions.

“I know that Cassian fell in love with you Nesta and Rhysand with you Feyre.” You told them and they avoided your gaze.

Your mates opened their mouths but quickly shut them as you glared at them.

“Its okay, both females are wonderful, and I can see why you are pinning after them. So, I decided to let you go. I realized that I love you as friends and nothing more. I’m in love with Azriel though and it wouldn’t be fair to him if I allowed you to come back to me.” You smiled at Azriel who nodded. You had talked about it two days ago and he had told you that he doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.

“Are you sure about this?” Feyre asked you softly.

“Yes I’m sure.” You smiled.

Cassian and Rhys had tears in their eyes as they stared at you.

“Let’s go mate” you told Azriel and offered him your hand.

“My mate” he smiled, and you left the room with genuine smiles on your faces.

Because this ends with Azriel I will put it under him on the masterlist.

Princess chapter 7 coming later today!

[scarlet-star-witch]

The story of us

Steve Harrington x reader

Summary: How Steve fell in love with his best friend and found the love he deserved

Word count: 7.4K

AN: This is total fluff to heal me from Vol. 2. Steve deserves love, period. 

~~

She double checked her winged eyeliner, frowning slightly when she realized the makeup on her eyes weren’t quite symmetrical.

They don’t have to be twins, she shrugged to herself and continued on, plastering on her red lipstick. When she was finished she smiled nervously at her reflection, touching up her hair, making sure there were no tangles. 

She suddenly sighed and rolled her eyes at herself, her insecurities rising rapidly. 

All this work for Steve fucking Harrington, she thought to herself with a shake of her head. She never would’ve believed this day would come. The past couple of years had been a whirlwind and yet, unbelievably, falling for Steve had been the least astounding thing she’d experienced.

Creatures from an alternate dimension overshadowed anything else going on in her otherwise mundane life.

Smoothing down her outfit, she left her room before she could nitpick her look and change her clothes for the third time that night. She raced down the stairs and grabbed her purse, hoping to sneak out without any hassle.

But of course, the universe was not on her side.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Her dad called out from his spot on his recliner, eyeing her from over his reading glasses with a curious look.

“Out.” She shrugged, feigning innocence, her fingers itching to turn the door knob and hightail it out of there before she had to answer any more questions.

“Yeah, no shit. Where are you going?”

“Movies.”

“With who?”

“Dad, I’m already late, I need to go.”

“You know, I’d be a lot less suspicious if you weren’t avoiding my question.” He said with a knowing smirk, getting up from his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, a clear sign that she was about to get the third degree.

She stared at her dad challengingly, his own eyes narrowing in defiance, silently telling her she wasn’t going to win this one. 

She sometimes hated how observant her father was.

“So…are you going to tell me or do I have to get the lie detector out.”

“You don’t have a lie detector.” She called his bluff.

“I can buy one. I’m sure they’re not too expensive.” He waved her off. “So…”

Clenching her jaw as her mind suddenly became void of any of her friends’ names, she settled for the first shitty answer she could think of. “I’m going with a friend.”

“This friend wouldn’t happen to be a boy, would it?”

She tensed, wondering how bad her consequence would be if she just sprinted out of the room. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed by Steve. Sure, they were a couple some people gave a double take to, purely because most people had no idea the two of them even knew each other.

But there were prodding questions parents asked about their child’s budding relationships that she couldn’t answer in the slightest.

How’d you meet?

I used to hate him and think he was a stuck up asshole until he saved my life from a monster from another dimension with a bat full of nails. 

How’d you get together?

He kissed me while we were in the upside down - you know, that other dimension I mentioned - and thought we were going to be killed by a horde of demo-dogs hell bent on tearing our limbs from our bodies. 

Yeah, she’d prefer to keep those details private.

At her prolonged silence, her dad’s smirk grew until he laughed, as if he found great amusement in her torture.

“All you have to do to make this end is tell me who you’re meeting up with tonight.” 

“Honey, please just tell him, this is driving me crazy.” Her mom called out from the kitchen, though the amused smile on her face was evident. 

She hated when her parents tag-teamed her. All her friends said she was so lucky to have such cool parents, but none of them had ever been on the receiving end of their intrigue. 

With a heavy sigh, she averted her gaze down to the floor and muttered the damning name.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Steve Harrington.” She blurted out louder, causing both of her parents’ eyes to widen in surprise.

“You’re going out with Steve Harrington? How the hell did that happen?”

“Nope, you said I only had to tell you who, not how.” She sassed, grinning widely as she made her way to the door.

“Don’t think you can escape these questions forever, young lady!” Her dad called out as she left the house. She waved goodbye and let out a deep breath as she found herself in the cool night air. 

When she saw the familiar car waiting idly a few houses down, a wide smile broke out onto her face and she raced forward, eager to see the man in question. As she got into the car, the smile she wore mirrored the one Steve gave her.

Before he could get a greeting out, she leaned over the middle console and kissed him deeply, her hands finding their common place at the base of his neck as her fingers curled into his wild strands of hair. 

Their hearts beat in equal excited measure, their stomach fluttering with an array of delighted butterflies. 

“Hi.” Steve breathed out when they finally parted.

“Hi.” She smiled and stole another quick peck to his lips. 

He cleared his throat, forcing his sudden lust filled daze to dissipate. “So, movies?” 

She nodded, biting her lip as she smiled knowingly, absolutely loving the effect she had on him.

Steve’s hand found its place on her thigh as he drove through the sleepy streets of Hawkins. That disbelieving feeling rose again, one that she still couldn’t seem to shake at the fact that she was in the car of the Steve Harrington.

She didn’t know why she was still so surprised by the turn of events. She’d been in his car plenty of times before and, more recently, they’d done some very r-rated things in the back seat. But their growing feelings for each other was still something she had to wrap her head around. 

She had started off hating the king of Hawkins high, rolling her eyes whenever he boasted in the halls of the dreaded place. Back then, she was someone he barely even noticed. Then they quickly became a pair finding solace in each other in a crazy world they never expected to be a part of. Then, she became a friend, a confidant, giving him advice, helping with his homework, comforting him in his dark times. She became a place of healing through his break up with Nancy. And then, she soon became a person he could never get out of his mind.

She quickly consumed him, healing his broken heart and showing him a love he never thought could exist. 

She became his everything. 

Placing her hand over his, their fingers intertwined and she smiled lovingly, her mind beginning to wander to how this had all started.

She had been Jonathan Byers’ best friend since they were in pre-school. That alone explained the fact that they ran in very different circles in school. When Will went missing, her life changed forever. 

She loved that little boy as if he were her own brother. She’d been fiercely protective of the quiet boy since he could walk and as his mysterious disappearance unfolded, she was thrust into a world she had trouble believing was real. 

“You don’t have to be here.” Jonathan had told her sincerely, looking at her with a pained expression through the explosion of flickering lights above them.

“Jonathan, I’m here and there’s no way in hell I’m leaving.” She told him sternly and tightened her grip on the ax she was holding. 

She’d never used an ax before, never even chopped wood before, but it seemed like the proper weapon to use against a demogorgon, a monster with no face as Nancy had described to her.

The three of them stood in a protective circle, their backs against each other’s as they scouted the ruined room for the monster. 

 Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the last person she had ever expected to see forced themselves into the room, looking around at the destroyed furniture, the excessive number of stringed lights and the weapons in their hands with wide, horrified eyes.

As Steve’s eyes took in the scene before him, his eyes landed on her and she felt as though it was the first time he had ever truly seen her. 

“W-what the hell is going on? Why do you have an ax?!”  

Those were the first words he ever spoke to her.

“You need to leave, Harrington.”

And those were the first words she’d ever spoken to him.

It didn’t take much convincing for him to run out of the house, the sight of the demogorgon enough to make him run for the hills. 

As the monster tackled Jonathan to the floor, she readied her ax and swung, hitting it in the shoulder. She gasped and backed up on trembling legs as it turned towards her menacingly, rearing its claws back, ready to strike her down. 

Ignoring the aching in her shoulders, she raised the ax again and with a grunt of exertion, she brought the weapon down, hitting the demogorgon in the shoulder. Its wailed cries of pain didn’t last long, soon the menacing growling took its place and its sights were set on her again. 

Gripping the handle of her weapon, she tugged, but it refused to budge, staying lodged within the monster, leaving her defenseless. 

Her eyes widened in terror as the creature roared at her, seconds away from lunging, when it suddenly wailed, its body stumbling back from the blow to its side it received. 

She watched, stunned, as Steve held the nailed bat, swinging furiously at the creature, backing it up into the hallway where they had placed the trap. 

Of all the things that could’ve possibly happened that night, Steve Harrington saving her life was the last thing she’d ever expected. 

That was the first time she got the inclination that he wasn’t a completely irredeemable asshole. 

Later that night, as the group gathered in the hospital, most still in shock that little Will Byers was in fact alive, she found herself restless, her foot tapping annoyingly against the linoleum floor. 

With a heavy sigh, she stood from her seat and made her way through the maze of halls to find the vending machine, suddenly realizing it had been over a day since she’d eaten anything. Her feet dragged her slowly through the bright hallways, the light making her already pounding headache worse. 

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, a sense of dread falling over her when she noticed Steve at the vending machine, eyeing the choices tiredly, looking as if he were about to keel over any second. 

When he felt her gaze he looked over his shoulder, his passive expression wavering as he smiled softly, sending her a feeble wave.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She replied, somewhat hesitantly, not used to ‘King Steve’ paying her any mind. 

But this was the guy that had saved her life only hours ago. He had stormed right back into danger to help them, and that couldn’t be ignored, no matter what she had previously thought of him.

“I uhm… I just wanted to say thank you, for earlier.” She choked out awkwardly, wringing her fingers together, feeling slightly uncomfortable as he looked at her intently. “That thing would’ve killed me if you hadn’t stepped in, so… thanks.” 

Steve smiled lightly, a gesture that portrayed just how tired he was as it was barely a twitch of his lips, but it gave away his gratitude as he bowed his head, not quite sure how to take the compliment. 

“It was nothing.”

“Steve, you saved my life. That’s not nothing.” She told him sincerely and the blush that coated his cheeks made her smile.

He grabbed his food and smiled warmly as he passed her, allowing her to take her place at the vending machine. He stopped before he left, turning back to look at her and he called her name softly, making her look over at him with wide eyes.

She didn’t even think he had known who she was, let alone her name.

“I’m glad you’re ok.” 

With those words, she was left to stare at his retreating form in a stunned daze. 

He wasn’t what she had expected. 

Trauma had a way of bringing people together and by some strange twist of fate, she found herself hanging out with Steve Harrington more often than not. 

They could speak to each other about things they couldn’t ever speak to other people about. The shared horrors they had seen pushed the two of them together in a way they were helpless to stop.

They were almost completely oblivious to the way they had seemingly latched onto each other since that horror-filled night of Will’s return. They started, almost unconsciously, seeking each other out at school, whether it be simple shared smiles, or Steve inviting her to sit with him and Nancy at lunch, or just simply being with each other for hours until they had to go their separate ways home. 

It even developed into Steve driving her home from school day after day, the two of them spending more time together than not. 

One night, as she turned off the lights in her house, preparing to head to bed for the night, the phone rang. With a quiet curse, she raced as quietly as she could to the phone, desperate to end the shrill noise before it woke her parents. 

“Hello?” She picked up, her tone more pointed than she expected. 

“Hey.”

“Steve? Do you know what time it is?” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I just… do you have time to talk?”

There was a lingering fear heard in his voice, one he tried to cover up, but one she heard nonetheless. It was the same fear her own voice held those nights she couldn’t sleep, the nights where all she could see was that faceless monster. 

“Another nightmare?” She asked quietly. 

It was quiet on the other line for a long moment, she could practically feel Steve’s shame through the phone, his hesitancy to disclose what he was going through, fearing the notion that this made him weak. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t- I’ll let you get to sleep.”

“No, no, Steve, it’s ok, I’m not tired.” She spoke quickly, stopping him before he could hang up. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. I get them too.” 

On the other line, Steve nodded, though she couldn’t see him, his teeth worrying his bottom lip roughly. He paced across the length of his room, wondering if she could hear the pounding of his heart through the phone.

“You wanna talk about it?” Her quiet voice said again and he had to swallow the immediate urge to refuse and hang up to save his dignity. 

“Not really.” He mumbled, his finger curling around the cord anxiously. 

“Steve.” Her soft voice stressed, gently coercing him to reveal what was troubling him. “It’s ok to be scared. No one should have to see what we saw. Honestly, I’d be more worried about you if you were totally fine after all that shit.”

With a heavy sigh, the floodgates opened and Steve allowed himself to purge everything that was tormenting him. 

It was only halfway into his explanation of his dark dream, that he began to wonder why he hadn’t called Nancy, why her name hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind when he wanted nothing more than to be comforted. 

Instead he went to her.

It took him weeks to get that sinking feeling to stop. 

But it didn’t stop Steve from seeking her out. She had quickly become the greatest friend he ever had and nothing, not even the guilt he felt, like he was betraying Nancy, could take that away. 

At school, as the group disbanded from lunch, Steve’s arm found its way over Nancy’s shoulders, his brain fighting to listen to what Nancy was ranting about. Something about fourth period history, he thinks, but he found it hard to concentrate.

His eyes were locked onto Jonathan and the girl who had quickly become one of his favorite people. More specifically, Jonathan’s arm around her waist and their shared smiles as they spoke to each other.  

He didn’t know why the sight caused unease to swell within him, he had no idea why that sinking, dreading feeling was back. 

He did everything he could to push the thought aside and he was successful, until only hours later when he was sitting with her at his kitchen table, working on an english essay together. 

He tapped his pencil against his notebook erratically, watching as she wrote, unbothered by his annoying habit. He cleared his throat, his brain screaming at him not to ask what he so badly wanted to ask. 

“So… how long have you and Jonathan been together?”

She laughed, the inclination both amusing and downright disgusting and looked up at him incredulously. “We’re not together.”

“Oh, ok, I just… you guys spend a lot of time together, so I just-”

“He’s my brother.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed in confusion and he looked at her questioningly. “You guys don’t look-”

“Oh my god, Steve, not literally you idiot.” She laughed and tossed her eraser at him playfully. “I’ve known him forever, he’s like my family.” 

“So you two have never…?”

“Fuck no!” She cringed. “It’s always been platonic between us.” She explained and didn’t know why seeing him breathe out, as if in relief, made her stomach clench.

He didn’t understand why he felt relief and he wasn’t about to question it. He didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole.

“Haven’t you had a friend like that? Someone you want to spend all your time with, someone you wanna tell your good news to right away, someone you love without any conditions?” 

“Uhh, no.” 

She eyed him carefully, noting the sudden shyness that overtook him, a shyness that made him seem embarrassed almost, like he was missing out on something, like there was something wrong with him for never having experienced what she was describing.

“And that definitely doesn’t sound platonic.” He added with a smirk, all traces of his insecurity gone. 

She sent him a playful scowl and rolled her eyes. 

“Well it is, trust me.” She assured him. “That kind of love, it can definitely become something romantic, but that sure as hell isn’t the case with me and Jonathan. He’s just… he’s one of my favorite people.” 

Steve nodded slowly, looking as though he was ruminating over her words carefully, causing her to look at him curiously, wondering what had caused him to look so thoughtful, wondering what had caused that uneasy look in his eyes. 

“But, I mean… you have that with Nancy though, right?” She asked slowly, simultaneously cringing at herself in fear of overstepping. 

Steve sat up straighter and for a brief moment, as his eyes met hers, he looked like a deer in headlights, trapped and doomed, before he schooled his expression and averted his gaze.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, I think so.” 

“You think so?” 

Steve hesitated, chewing on his lip nervously before sighing in resignation, looking over at her cautiously. 

“That loving without any conditions… I don’t know if we’re there.” He admitted quietly.

“That’s ok. You can get there. You two are still only in highschool. The both of you are going to grow and change as people and your relationship will grow and that unconditional love will grow.” She told him, trying her best to soothe his nerves, regretting having brought it up in the first place. “But if it’s really something you’re worried about you should talk to her about it.”

Steve nodded slowly, her words lingering in his head long after he had left her side. Guilt began to fester inside of him as his head spun with thoughts so confusing he didn’t know what to make of them.

A part of him didn’t want that to grow between him and Nancy. And that scared the shit out of him.

He continued to ignore the feeling and the constant thoughts of her, finding it easier that way. Facing his feelings head on was never one of his strengths and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be any time soon, he made sure of that. 

He was almost unaware of the way his eyes would seek her out, he was unaware of how often he smiled around her, he was unaware of just how purely content he was in her presence. 

She somehow had a way of making him laugh in situations that usually had him stressed. Tutoring had used to be a contentious, horrible hour of his life every Thursday evening that he would dread every second of, until she became his tutor. 

“What’d you get for question 7?”

“X equals 32.”

“What?!” Steve yelled, grabbing her notebook and staring down at it as if it were a valuable ancient script. “I got x equals 5.” 

She barked out a laugh, laying down on her bed as she clutched her stomach.

“Shut up.” Steve groaned, tossing her notebook back to her bitterly, though he couldn’t hold back his own smile from growing at the sound of her raucous laughter. 

“Sorry, sorry, I just don’t know what the hell you did to make that possible.” She said through her laughter.

Steve’s own laughter became louder and soon their homework was long forgotten as they dissolved into a hysterical fit of laughter that couldn’t be stopped. 

After a few minutes, their laughter lightened to soft giggles, the two of them sharing equally delightful smiles. Something shafted between them, their gazes lingering just a little too long, the moment dangerously toeing the line between platonic and romantic just a little too closely. 

Her gaze, which had been eagerly taking in every inch of his beautiful face drifted to the clock on the bedside table for a second and the moment was broken in an instant.

“Oh shit, I gotta go. Danny’s picking me up in like ten minutes.” She rushed out as she collected her books and shoved them into her backpack. 

Steve’s shoulders deflated at the reminder of her boyfriend. He didn’t like the guy, not one bit. It was clear Danny didn’t like Steve, that he was threatened by their friendship. The fact that he took every opportunity to glare coldly at Steve was telling enough.

“What do you guys have planned for tonight?” He asked casually, hoping the question came off as purely friendly curiosity and not his desire to protect her from the arrogant college douchebag.

“There’s a party on campus.” 

“Oh, cool. Sounds fun.” He said with a small smile, wincing at himself for his failed effort to sound excited for her. 

As she left, he tried hard not to think too hard about the kiss she’d placed on his cheek in goodbye and why it made his heart beat faster. 

And he especially tried hard to not think about what she’d be doing with her boyfriend that night, because every time he did he felt like his heart would drop out of his body. 

All of these thoughts of her, thoughts that confused him to no end, weren’t easy to compartmentalize. Even more so after Nancy had stomped on his heart and drunkenly tore their relationship apart. 

The night after the party, the night after his relationship ended, he found himself where most could find him, at her side. He was slumped on her bed, staring up at the ceiling mindlessly. 

He loved Nancy, at least he thought he did. She was the healthiest and realest relationship he’d ever had. He couldn’t just let go of that. He couldn’t ignore what the past year had meant to him, he didn’t want to throw it away.

But his mind kept returning to her. 

Her, his best friend who was dating another man and who most definitely didn’t see him as anything other than a friend. 

“What should I do?” He asked her, giving her a helpless look. “I could buy flowers, or chocolates, Nancy likes chocolate, right?” He continued to rant, not noticing the disbelieving  look thrown his way. 

“And why would you do that?” 

“I need to apologize, you know, a grand gesture to sweep her off her feet kind of apology.”

“Steve, why the hell would you apologize? She was the one that called you ‘bullshit’.” She asked, looking at him as if he were crazy. 

“I… well, I dunno, I guess I don’t. But I don’t wanna lose her either.” 

With a heavy sigh, she leaned towards him, placing her hand over his and he had to force himself not to look in amazement at the touch, forcing his gaze to remain on her face, where he became lost in her sympathetic eyes. 

Huh, I never noticed how her eyes looked in the sunlight, he thought to himself, dazed and confused more than ever. 

“Steve, you deserve to be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. You shouldn’t settle for anything less, you don’t deserve anything less.” 

Her words broke him out of his daze forcefully and he felt his breath hitch. The only time he had heard what he deserved was his dad yelling at him, berating him, telling him he deserved to stay in this small town, he deserved his shitty job and shitty grades. 

He had never been told that he deserved better than what he had. 

“But I don’t-”

“No, buts!” She interrupted him passionately and he was struck by how hard she was trying to help him, how much she truly wanted him to be happy.

He couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so vehemently on his side. He had no idea it would feel so damn good.

“If Nancy doesn’t wanna be with you, then she doesn’t wanna be with you. You can’t force those kind of feelings and you shouldn’t have to. Steve, there’s probably a hundred girls in this town alone willing to show you how you deserved to be loved. You just need to find her.

He stared at her as if in a trance.

“Just need to find her.” He repeated her words slowly, his eyes never wavering from hers. 

She tried hard not to think of how her stomach flipped under his gaze. 

Over the next few days, Steve had been racking his brain, desperately trying to find a way to let her know, to find the courage to tell his best friend that he was crazy about her, that the love he felt for her was something he could no longer deny.

But the universe, as always, had awful timing, and the chaos they endured just a year ago was back in full force. 

“Well, this isn’t the Friday I thought I’d be having.” She muttered, her nose crinkled in distaste as she helped Steve shove the dead demo-dog into the Byers’ fridge.

It had been a whirlwind of a week, hell the last hour was enough to have her mind spinning.

Eleven was alive, Will was possessed, the gate was open, and their lives were in danger, yet again.

“Yeah, I second that.” Steve said through his panted breath as they both forcefully slammed the fridge door shut. 

Wiping his hands on his jeans and cringing at the mess the creature had left, he looked up at her again, his brows furrowing as he noticed the dull look in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry your weekend got messed up, I know you were looking forward to visiting Danny.” He told her, taking a guess as to why she was in such a foul mood. 

She let out a bitter sounding laugh and shook her head. “Please don’t say that asshole’s name in my presence.” 

Steve looked at her in bewilderment, silently motioning for her to continue, to explain what the hell was going on with her. Despite his elation at the prospect that her douchebag boyfriend was out of the picture, her behavior kept him from jumping for joy just yet. 

After a long pause, followed by an even longer heavy sigh, she leaned against the fridge, her eyes falling closed. 

“I caught him cheating on me.”

Steve’s face fell, his heart aching for her. He thought his break up with Nancy had been bad, but he was thankful it hadn’t been that bad. He was beyond angry that she had to go through that heartbreak. He moved to stand beside her, leaning against the fridge of horrors, his shoulder brushing against hers.

“Jesus, I'm sorry. He’s… he’s an idiot. He has no idea what he lost.” 

She laughed slightly and nudged him. “Yeah, right.”

“Hey, I’m being serious here. You’re a catch and you were way too good for that guy.”

“Steve, stop.”

“Stop what? Telling the truth?” 

She looked over at him and a lump grew in her throat when she saw the look on his face, when she realized he hadn’t been joking, that he was telling the god honest truth.

She let out a long breath, blinking rapidly to quell the urge to let those dastardly tears come to her eyes again. She’d wasted enough tears on Danny and she had quickly come to the conclusion that he didn’t deserve a single one of them.

“I just wish there was a way I could get back at him, you know? I wanna humiliate him like he humiliated me.”

“Yeah, I get it.” 

She chewed on her lip in contemplation until a reckless idea popped into her head. “Maybe I’ll sleep with his roommate, he was pretty cute.” 

Steve choked on his breath and he felt a burning pit of dread settle within him, making him feel sick. It was bad enough to think about her with Danny, but now, picturing her with another college douchebag was making him feel dizzy. 

“Uhhh, no, I don’t- that’s probably not- I- that’s not a good idea.” He stammered, floundering for an explanation, desperate to get her mind off of that plan that would tear his heart to pieces.

She smiled lightly, the sight of him so flustered warming her heart. “It’s not?”

“No, I don't think it’s enough.”

“I mean, his english lit professor’s young, I could probably sleep with him too, that’d definitely fuck with him.”

Steve’s eyes widened in horror and he shook his head, his mouth moving but no words escaping him. 

“Uhh, no, nope, not what I was suggesting.” He rambled mindlessly, feeling as though he was seconds away from going into cardiac arrest. 

“So what do you suggest, since apparently you know everything there is to know about relationships.” She joked sarcastically.

Steve laughed, though it was strained, his mind still racing with horrible thoughts of her tangled up with another man.

“I think, if you really wanna get back at him, you need to show him that you’re happy without him.”

“And how do I do that?”

“I think falling in love with someone, loving someone so unconditionally that you wanna spend every minute of every day with them, that whenever you get good news they’re the only one you think about telling, that you can only picture your days with them, that they’re the one person you wanna see, the one person you think about constantly.” Steve spoke, his voice becoming low as his gaze pierced hers. 

He hadn’t even realized he had leaned in until they were practically nose to nose with her

He swallowed against the lump in his throat, forcing himself to not chicken out, and kept his eyes on her.

Her face smoothed out as she stared back at him, almost as if she were in a daze. His words, words that were once her own but were spoken back to her but so much more passionate, with so much more fire than when she had used them, made her feel lightheaded. 

“I think that would really show him.” Steve said quietly, his voice almost a whisper, like if he spoke any louder, he’d scare away whatever was happening between them. 

“Hey!”

The two of them jumped apart and looked over at Dustin who was looking at them with narrowed eyes, trying to make sense of what he had just walked into.

“If you two are done flirting, we have a problem.”

“Dust- wait, what? What problem?” Steve’s initial urge to scold the teenager faded as he realized there was imminent danger.

Despite the fact that she should’ve been focusing on the present moment, you know, with the fate of the world on the line and everything, all she could think of was Steve, the words he had spoken to her, the way he had looked at her.

She wondered if she hallucinated the entire thing, if she was just reading way too much into the moment and exaggerating what it really was. 

There’s no way, she told herself, there’s no way he likes me.

As Billy harassed the group, threatening Lucas, and then beating the shit out of Steve, the valiant hero who tried his best, she couldn’t force herself to focus. Which was for the better, she assured herself, she didn’t want to watch Steve get his ass handed to him and, while she thought of herself as a pretty tough girl, there was no way she was getting in between a fight that involved Billy Hargrove of all people. 

It was a whirlwind of chaos as Max handled Billy, effectively knocking him on his ass. If she knew drugging him was an option, she would’ve done that the second that abrasive asshole stepped foot in the house. 

Yet, throughout the chaos, her mind never wavered from the way Steve had looked at her in that kitchen, she couldn’t stop thinking about the words he had said to her. 

Even as she helped drag him to the backseat of Billy’s car, still thinking the kids’ plan was a horrendous one, she had only agreed because her mind was preoccupied with wondering if Steve had just confessed his love to her.

Get a hold of yourself, she scolded herself. 

Even as the group of them trudged through the dark and dismal tunnels of the upside down, her mind refused to cease its incessant worrying. It was most definitely not the ideal situation to be hung up on a potential crush she may or may not have been denying for months. 

Her mind was so preoccupied, she hadn’t been paying attention to the dangerous terrain below her. Her foot caught on a vine and she stumbled, about to fall flat on her face when a sturdy arm wound around her waist, holding her upright. 

“You ok?” Steve asked breathlessly, looking down at her in concern. 

She felt her throat go dry and she nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I'm good.” 

She felt as though her brain was short circuiting as they continued to walk, Steve’s arm around her waist never ceasing, keeping her protected at his side.

Their plan had gone off without a hitch, they’d managed to torch the tunnels, successfully distracting the monsters so El had a chance to close the gate and save the world yet again. 

As the group ran through the tunnels to get to safety, Steve’s hand remained in hers, pulling her along with him easily. 

As they heard the horde of demo-dogs behind them, they all ran faster and she felt Steve’s grip on her hand tighten in fear. 

They worked quickly, hauling the kids up the rope in quick succession. 

“Go, go, go.” Steve urged, helping Dustin, the last kid of the group to get up, to start climbing. 

“Wait, what about you?” Dustin questioned, looking down at them nervously.

“Just go!” Steve urged, pushing him towards the rope. 

With all the kids safe and out of the upside down, they both let out equal breaths of relief, both of them feeling as though they had done their job, had protected those kids like they were supposed to. But as the roar of the monsters came closer, she looked to Steve, the both of them realizing at the same time that they had run out of time.

With a shaking breath, she turned to face her demise, watching as the shadows of the demo-dogs raced closer, only mere feet away. 

This was it. This was the end. 

A gentle touch startled her out of her dark thoughts

“Don’t.” Steve said softly, his hand settling at her cheek and moving her head to avoid looking at the creatures that would cause their demise. “Just look at me.” 

The catch in his voice didn’t go unnoticed and she swallowed thickly, looking up at him with watering eyes.

“If I have to die with someone… I’m glad it’s you.” She choked out. 

Steve’s expression twisted, looking as though he was pained and he bowed his head, his other hand moving to grip onto her waist. He moved his gaze up to meet hers and his eyes shone with tears.

“If we make it outta this, please don’t hate me.” He whispered reverently and before she had the chance to question just what he meant, his lips crashed onto hers. 

Her eyes widened in shock before falling closed in bliss, her heart racing within her chest. He held her so gently yet so desperately, she couldn’t help but fall into him, her chest pressed against his as she kissed him back eagerly. 

Her hand, as if without her knowledge, found their way into his hair and the short, needy exhale he gave made her weak in the knees. His grip on her waist tightened, his hand gentle at her cheek as they kissed with a fiery, burning passion, one they could no longer deny.

The moment was broken as she felt a bump at her leg, making her fall into his chest. He wrapped both arms around her protectively, holding her close to him. They watched in awe as the monsters avoided them, racing past them, paying them no mind.

“Holy shit.” She breathed out, her wide eyes locked onto the demo-dogs, her heart racing at how close she had been to accepting her end. 

With a shaking breath, she turned her attention to Steve, only to find him already looking at her, his own expression of shock mirroring hers. 

“Are you ok?”

 She nodded wordlessly and her hands moved to grip onto his arms which were still holding her tightly. 

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He answered with a huff of tired laughter. “Shit, that was close.” 

Suddenly, they heard the kids screaming for them from above. 

“Are you two ok?!” 

“We’re fine!” She yelled up to them, moving to grab onto the rope to haul herself out of the tunnels, but Steve’s grip on her arm stopped her, making her look back at him.

“Look, what I did… I didn’t- if that made you uncomfortable-”

“Steve,” She interrupted him, a small smile beginning to grow at how nervous he looked. “Shut up.”

With that, Steve was left to watch her scale the rope in a daze, frozen in place. He let out a small laugh and shook his head. Despite his raging nerves, she had a way of putting him at total ease, calming every one of his insecurities. 

As he made his way out of the upside down, he found his place at her side, his arm finding its way around her waist again.

“Is it over?” Max asked, eyeing the group nervously. 

“I think so.” Steve replied with a smile, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his chest and he looked over at her again, both of them sharing knowing smirks at the double meaning of the interaction.

Their anxieties were gone, the dance they had done around each other for so long was finally over. 

Once it was clear that they had succeeded, once they knew Will was ok, El was ok and the gate was closed, their night of fighting was finally over.

Steve drove all the kids home, leaving the two of them in the car, driving down the empty roads of Hawkins. 

There was a nervous energy that surrounded them, unspoken words lingering in the air. Neither one of them knew what to say, both too nervous to break the silence that had grown since Dustin had left the car, leaving them alone. 

As Steve pulled up to her house, his expression shifted into one of disappointment, suddenly wondering if tomorrow would be different, if her feelings would be different now that the danger was gone, wondering if their moment was just a moment of weakness fueled by fear.

“So… I know I’ve asked you this like a million times already, but, are you ok?” Steve asked quietly. 

She looked over at him, their eyes finally meeting and the warm smile that graced her lips made his heart stutter. 

“I’m more than ok.” 

He nodded, feeling his palms beginning to sweat, his stomach twisting with nerves. 

“Steve,” She called out softly. “Did you mean it?”

He looked confused for a moment before he realized what she was asking. Their moment in the kitchen, the words he had spoken so gently and loving to her. 

He swallowed thickly, working up every ounce of courage he had to finally say the words that had been on his tongue for months.

“Of course I did.” He told her softly, his smile growing. “How could I not?”

Her eyes softened and her chest exploded with pleasurable fluttering nerves. She reached over, placing her hand over his and intertwined their fingers, delighted when she heard the breath of relief he exhaled. 

“You’ve been it for me for a long time. I was just too stupid to do anything about it.”

His words made her stomach twist in the best way she’d ever experienced. 

Steve cleared his throat and looked over at her hesitantly, his nerves in full force.

“So, uhh, I mean, do you… do you feel… I mean, I know this is new and weird, well, not weird, at least for me. I’ve known I’ve liked you for like… I dunno, a while, probably more than I’d like to admit. And you’ve probably only seen me as a friend, but I think the last few months have-”

“Steve.” She said forcefully, cutting off his rant and forcing him to look over at her with wide eyes, his fear evident.

She tightened her grip on his hand and leaned forward, forcing his nervous, cast down gaze to raise, finally meeting her eyes.

“I think I was too stupid to do anything about my feelings too.” She echoed his previous words cheekily.

Steve let out a harsh breath, smiling widely, and he couldn’t help but feel as though he had accomplished a great feat. The pure relief she saw on his face made her heart lighten, as it had more times than she could count around him, a feeling she had finally come to terms with.

With a giggle, she leaned forward and crashed her lips to his.

He responded immediately, deepening the kiss as his hands grabbed onto her eagerly, as if he would die if he didn’t have her close for another second. Months of tension were released as they kissed with a fiery need that they thought would never dissipate.

After a few minutes, Steve pulled away, his brow furrowed and lips swollen as he looked at her intently.

“Wait, so, this means you like me too, right?” He questioned breathlessly and his stomach flipped as she laughed loudly. “What, I’m just checking, I mean, we did just almost die. Emotions are running high. I don’t want you waking up tomorrow morning totally repulsed at the sight of me.”

“Oh my god, Steve, just kiss me, you idiot.” She told him and he was all too happy to oblige.

As he kissed her again, this time softly, more gently than he had before, they both had to fight the smiles that threatened to grow and ruin the kiss. 

~~

More Stranger Things fics are coming! 

I have an Eddie fic coming out soon to undo the emotional damage of Volume 2 xx

[iifishizzleii]

i feel so horrible for gwen, because you can literally see the toll of her best friend’s death on her and how it affected her entire SPIRAL.

like it started when her dad thought she’d killed him, and how she couldn’t even tell the him the truth because she was afraid of how he would react if he knew the person he thought killed the boy who was like his son was his daughter. then, when she does reveal her identity to him, it’s under pressure and due to her circumstances, so she’s not comfortable or willing, and neither she nor her father were in the right mindset to hear each other out. this led to something that was MOST definitely a traumatic experience for her, and Gwen didn’t even get time to process it before she ran.

and then the confidence she felt in her relationship with Miles and the confidence she had in HERSELF is withered, by the two adults who took her in when she was at her most vulnerable.

Jessica is constantly switching between kind and understanding, to cold and demanding with her, and it’s obvious how badly Gwen is trying to work with it to satisfy her. she asks Jessica to adopt her as soon as she sees her in action, showing how quickly Gwen got attached to her, most likely because she was kind of a filler for the mom she never had. which is precisely why it makes Gwen so much more emotionally open to being manipulated. (she literally gave Gwen the silent treatment for five seconds and it sent my girl into a panic mode. like. what.)

and Miguel is revealing all these things about how the Multiverse is gonna fall apart, and people are gonna die if she doesn’t do something about Miles—the only other person she can relate to because he’s just like her; a teenager wearing a mask, trying to be what the worlds wants them to be, failing, and going through things no kid should. he’s her reflection, except he’s so much more than she is, and she knows and loves that about him, but Miguel is showing her everything he’s done “wrong”, and Miguel is the only current male role model in her life, so obviously she’s going to look up to him.

neither of them even bothered to help her fix what happened with her dad, too. they just let her go along with them for MONTHS, utilizing how desperate Gwen was for some semblance of a family to get her to catch other anamolies.

she doesn’t do what she did to Miles consciously, and it’s blatant because every time Miles gets closer to his freedom, or he does something incredible, she’s always proud of him. and when he’s hurt, she looks just as pained (and guilty).

she was torn between helping Miles, or helping the Spider Society, but when he showed her that there was more than just the options every Spider Man was handed, and that the impossible can be possible, Gwen learned from it and grew.

Miles helped her, and saved her dad in the process (because he quit before becoming captain). she finna return that favor in the second movie.

[snickerdoodlles]

headcanons behind fic: Chay's allowance and KimChay zero baht dates mentioned in long & short

Kim chokes trying not to laugh. “Seriously Angel?” Chay looks at him, lips pulled into a pouty moue like what? “You only take me out on zero baht dates, but you’ll pay people to draw us as cats?” Chay sniffs primly. “I only use my allowance for education and fine art,” he says, haughty.

Korn giving Porsche and Chay a large allowance comes up in a lot of my fics I think, because I see him giving all of his sons and his wards a large allowance. And for once, it's not actually a part of his usual manipulation and control tactics.

(Well. It's not not about manipulation and control, because everything Korn does involves manipulation and control. Korn absolutely monitors their accounts and purchases, not to mention he's absolutely the sort of person to always have a mental ledger of favors given and owed for everyone, especially family.)

However, he doesn't need to control any of the boys' finances to have control over them and he's so present over all of them that giving them access to their own money (vs having them request it from him directly) doesn't give him any more advantage over them or could even run counter to it.

No, I see Korn giving all the boys a hefty allowance as a personal push back against the ghost of his father.

We don't know anything about grandpa Theerapanyakul beyond the fact that Gun invoked his name while yelling at Korn and the mere comparison of them rattled Korn more than the literal gun war happening in his own home. Of all the terrible fathers in this series, the grandpa takes the cake apparently!

Alongside Korn's deep-seated control issues, he also has this weird...thing where he really, really wants to be seen as a caretaker and good provider. He never outright denies his sons and is seemingly very supportive of them-- Khun was allowed to fall back and be taken care of, Kim was allowed to live separately to become a musician, he paid off judges in the name of Kinn's childhood dream, later he supports Kinn and Porsche's relationship-- and the whole fucked thing with Nampheung and the narrative he's constructed around him taking care of her. Even Korn's relationship with Gun is a little bit weird given how much he talks about competition. Like, he desperately wants to be seen as a good provider and caretaker, he just also can't stop being Korn and has that stupid-ass metaphor with the knife and the apple. It's a very crunchy contradiction.

Anyways, Korn's issues aside, I see Korn giving his sons and later wards personal allowances as a part of his personal image of himself as a good provider.

And Porsche and Chay hate it.

(Porsche reminds Chay they're very grateful. Chay mutters where was this help when Porsche took out an informal loan too young. Porsche hisses and whips his head around for any walls that are listening.)

Chay mostly just tries to ignore the supposed pile of money apparently just...sitting there, for him, and spend no differently than how he usually would (it doesn't feel real, digital money is never real to him). However, after so many years of Porsche sacrificing to save money for his needs and future, Chay can't bring himself to ignore the account completely when it comes to things like school or food. He never actually looks at his account, he mostly just squeezes his eyes shut whenever he uses his card for essentials and waits for the system to deny him, except it never does. That does not make Chay feel any better about the situation.

The only time Chay's close to breaking his "no treats" stance is shortly after he and Kim get together. Chay wants so badly to treat Kim to something really special, but. Money. He frets. He makes a pros and cons list. He paces. He has an entire argument with himself in the mirror. He angsts. He takes one look at Kim's happy face over a candlelight dinner and decides fuck it, that's a guy he's going to spoil to the moon and back, stupid blood money allowance be damned.

Except, as established, Chay's never looked at his actual account, so he goes to Cash the accountant to see what his options are for spoiling dates. Like, he's been paying his tuition and the card always goes through at the grocer or noodle house, and Korn does keep telling him his school allowance includes some extra spending money, but Chay wants to spoil Kim. A band they like will be on tour in Bangkok around Kim's birthday, Chay's gunning for special VIP tickets and some extra money for merch and dinner. Surely stupid rich mafia has plenty of money to spare for that.

Chay: would I, uh, be able to get a little extra money? tickets are 3000 but they're for a really special occasion and-

Cash, thinking about Kinn's 3000 dollar helicopter tickets: I don't care, let me just pull up your account details

Chay: thank you so much 🥺

Then Cash turns his screen around to ask Chay how much money he needs and. That is. A lot of money. So many digits. The decimal certainly in the wrong spot. Then Chay looks to the top of the corner and nearly screams because that's his name on the account, what the fuck?

Cash: Khun Korn said to have enough money to cover your tuition

Chay: [does not point out the initial balance was 3x his four year tuition]

Chay...leaves. He thinks. He doesn't know how he got from Cash's office to his room but his next stop is his bed to scream into his pillow until his throat hurts. Fucking rich people.

In protest, Chay takes Kim out the next evening on a zero baht date. They walk along whatever part of the river's nearest to their university to watch the sunset, have to jump a fence and duck two railings to even find a private sitting space away from any other river goers. The view's passable at best, at least free of most industry stuff thanks to the proximity to school but hardly the most inspiring. Chay spreads out his flannel for them to sit on, and feeds Kim dry packet ramen and stale shrimp chips he got free from a university event. He didn't even buy a drink, they survive off a mostly full bottle of grape soda Chay stole off a friend.

(It's a magical evening for Kim, obviously. Ferreting out little hidden spaces hand-in-hand with Chay, enjoying the nighttime air curled together, eating terrible cheap food that somehow tastes good? This is DOING things to him. He will be bringing a guitar and minimum two water bottles with him next time tho.)

[sixthsensewulf]

I see Fantasy High as this is their seasons. If that makes sense. They all work together, become close friends and best friends etc. have the entire group arc but the major character arcs vary. Let me explain. They all grow but each season I feel like some grow more than others if that makes any sense..

FRESHMEN YEAR

Kristen's journey of discovering who she is and what she worships. Was literally her entire arc during S1. Her new friends helped her out. They were there when she got kicked out of the house.

It's also Fig's story as well. Like her growth from accepting Gilear as her father. Her growth with her mother. Her finding her father.

SOPHOMORE YEAR

Yes this has character development all over the place right.

But the major ones

Fabian, Riz and Adaine pretty much.

Fabian - he did kill his father before the Prom, and then had to become his father on Leviathan. His confidence got rocked hard during this season, he ran from his friends, he took off the eye patch and his owlbears hoodie. You could tell Fabian very much cared for his friends. His panic when Riz didn't answer the phone, his hug to Gorgug when they reunited during the nightmare forest. His panic to save Riz from falling from the fight.

Riz - this was his season. Not saying Junior Year isn't his season which is amped by Murph's insane rolls right now. But learning the truth of his dad. Kalina. Baron. He ran after Kristen. He was cursed by Kalina, and Kristen saved him.

Adaine - oracle. Her break away from her parents, her kidnapping, her wanting to get her sister back. The way that she found more family in Sandra Lynn and Jawbone. Her development of I'm not a weak wizard to I'm the Elven Oracle and I'm going to kill my dad.

Junior Year.

You might be wondering why I haven't mentioned our tall green boy.

Junior Year is Gorgug's year. It's also Fig's. But its majority is Gorgug.

The fact that from Sophomore year, this quiet one of the group. the heart of the bad kids, put a working Satellite into space to being a multiclass Barbarian and Artificer.

The work that Gorgug put in, has been insane for him. Zac definitely did do something with his dice since in the last two fights. .. it's been insane Crit city. But honestly looking at it from a story point of view.. Gorgug has struggled with his relationship to rage all through Fantasy High. But honestly his rage is the best support to his friends. He can protect and now support his friends. The flash of genius has massively helped his friends so much.

He puts himself on the line to save his friends. He holds his friends close. Hence why his relationship with Rage is so different and why Porter thinks Gorgug is "weak" or can't use the "nature of destructive rage". Gorgug's rage doesn't need to be destructive, it needs to be effective.

Like he tanked the purple worm in the last standard. He held his own and the ship against, what 5 dragons??? While his friends were helping the killing and keeping the party still going.

[raina-at]

Nightmare

I've set myself the unofficial goal of hitting all my AUs this month. So have some Spare Parts Boys. All you need to know, though, is that this AU is totally canon compliant until TRF save for two things: One, Sherlock and John were together before the Fall, and two, they live on Titan in the 24th century.

----

It takes a while for Sherlock to accept how much he still has to learn when it comes to anything to do with interpersonal relationships.

Case in point, just because the person you love most in the world has forgiven you for the horrible thing you did to him, doesn't mean it's not still haunting both of you.

John has nightmares. John always had nightmares, even back before Sherlock jumped. John has enough trauma Sherlock isn't responsible for to keep him in nightmares for the rest of his life. 

Like his father's death. Or the incident on Mars that is responsible for his synthetic arm.

John had PTSD and was nearly suicidal when Sherlock met him, on his way down the bottle or his sidearm. Sherlock shocked him out of that state by providing adrenaline on a daily basis. In the beginning, the adrenaline was chasing criminals through the streets of New London and the frozen plains of Titan. Later, that adrenaline included sex. But John still had nightmares, and the bed they shared before Sherlock jumped was often besieged with these night terrors. John would wake up screaming. Sometimes he’d claw at his artificial arm as if he wasn’t sure what this thing was doing on his body. Sometimes he’d whimper and beg for it to stop, whatever was torturing him.

Sherlock hated these nightmares. Still does.

But it’s a special kind of hell when you’re the thing that haunts the person you’d literally die for. When you become the nightmare. 

It’s been a rough few days. John’s clinic was busy, and they had a truly gruelling case, human trafficking, sympathetic victims, and an unsatisfying outcome. They got the local thugs and they freed the victims, but the big fish escaped their net. 

They went home and both of them fell asleep as soon as their heads hit their respective pillows.

Sherlock woke suddenly to John screaming his name, over and over, panting with fear. Sherlock did what he always does, he gathered John in his arms and whispered, “I’m here, it’s all right, it was just a dream. I’m here. I’m here,” kissing John’s brow and breathing with him as he slowly calmed down and fell asleep again, still clinging to Sherlock like he was going to vanish if he let go. 

It’s getting a bit old, to tell the truth. It doesn’t happen that often anymore, but it happens frequently enough to bother Sherlock. He’s also more than a bit disgusted at himself for having the nerve to be annoyed at John’s subconscious. It’s been two years, a small, insidious voice inside his mind whispers. When is this going to stop?

Probably never. That’s the short answer. The long answer that it’s probably going to be less and less frequent, as the scar tissue over this particular wound in John’s subconscious grows thicker.

Sherlock still feels like shit every time it happens. Because it shows him, time and again, that no matter how much they’ve grown and changed and forgiven and promised, no matter how good he’s been, there’s a part of John that still lives in that moment. There’s a corner of John’s mind that’s stuck with the worst thing Sherlock has ever done. 

When he’s sure John is fast asleep again, he gets up and sits in the window seat, watching the clouds race over the murky sky, revealing glimpses of Saturn. Occasionally, a shuttle passes through his line of sight, or a hovercab. The city is quiet at this time of night. Never asleep, but dozing. 

John’s hands are warm on his shoulders, caressing tense muscles with soothing strokes. “Come back to bed,” John whispers in his ear, soft breath tickling against his neck.

“In a minute,” Sherlock replies, making room for John to slip into the seat behind him, letting John rearrange them so he’s resting against John as John’s arms come around him.

“What is it?” John murmurs into his hair, his voice soft and quiet and gentle.

Sherlock knows he could say nothing. He could just take John to bed and distract them both from the dark of the night with the heat of their bodies. Instead, he takes John’s hand between both of his and traces idle patterns over his palm. “It’s always going to be there. Isn’t it?”

He can feel more than hear John sigh, his chest heaving with the deep breath he takes and then lets out, slowly. “Probably.” John meets his eyes in the window’s reflection. “Doesn’t mean I don’t forgive you. Doesn’t mean I want to be anywhere but here.”

“I know.” 

And the thing is, he does know. And it still hurts. Both of them. 

“You know, I have patients who ask me why their synthetic limbs feel pain.”

Sherlock sighs, because he has a feeling he knows where John is going with this. “Are you going to give me another lecture on how ignoring pain is stupid?”

Sherlock can hear the smile in John’s voice when he replies, “I’m that predictable?”

Sherlock brushes a kiss over John’s knuckles. “Never.” Another kiss. “Well. Sometimes.”

John chuckles, kissing Sherlock’s hair. “Well then, Mister I-Know-What-You’re-About-To-Say-Before-You-Do, tell me what I was about to say.”

“That pain is good, because it shows you your limits. That pain reminds you of past mistakes. That it’s a teacher, and a guide.”

“A bit more poetic than I would have phrased it, but shockingly accurate as usual,” John answers, and Sherlock can feel him smile against Sherlock’s hairline.

“I know all of this. What bothers me is that you’re in pain because of my mistakes.”

“I know. And that’s the reason why I forgive you,” John says gently, moving their joined hands over Sherlock’s heart. 

Sherlock says nothing, pressing John’s hand closer against his heart. He can’t express what John’s forgiveness means to him, what this second life they have together has given him. And he knows that the pain he feels every time he watches John live through his death is both his penance and the price he has to pay. He just wishes he was the only one who had to go through it.

“Want to go back to bed now?” John asks, pulling Sherlock even closer.

Sherlock smiles. “In a minute.”

In a minute, they will go back to bed. They will chase away melancholy thoughts and lingering aches with hands and mouths and words of adoration breathed into sweat-slick skin. They will fall asleep entangled and wake together to greet a new day together.

For now, though, Sherlock kisses John’s palm and together, they watch their city doze the night away.

-----

Periodic reminder that I'm collecting all of these ficlets here on AO3.

Tags under the cut as always, please let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty @salmonsown

[lyomeii]

me, you and him

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: yandere themes, death, spoilers from the entire manhwa, manipulation, reader is implied to be taller than jiwon, someone drug the reader in the first timeline and much more.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Hello may I request a yandere kang jiwon x reader (romantic) where reader was a childhood friend of jiwon and reader is the one always saved from bullies but she died from a accident( sumin poisoned reader) and when jiwon recairneted she decided to save reader while saving reader she fell in love(read obsessed) with reader! Bonus yandere yoo jihyuk who is obsessed with reader from high school Have a great day!^^

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a/n: first request for marry my husband!!!!! 100% excited when writing it and i did have my fun while finished. hope u guys like it too.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ jiwon remembers how her young days were quite full of problems. mother left her and father to another man, dad work twice as hard and soomin, someone who she thought to be a friend, betrayed her and killed her with her husband.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a life as bad like that was definitely one the main reason why she came back to the past, jiwon has to fixed everything and of course, to save the only person that was truly at her side, you.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ someone at school who grow up next to her and soomin, yet you only care about her than everyone else. gifting her little presents almost everyday, giving your jacket during rain and cold weather. those sweet moments passed unnoticed by jiwon, how stupid she was to not choose you? why she ended with min hwan instead?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ those sweet moments she spend with you were unique, she introduced you to her work team and you befriend many of them quickly, even her supervisor, jihyuk seems to like you, he smiled seeing you! he never smiled to anyone. yet there was someone who didn’t like that at all.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ soomin hated the fact she never got your attention, you always prefer jiwon over her! and if she and min hwan wanted to become rich with jiwon’s money, then she have to dispose you faster as possible.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ one day, soomin called you over to the office, saying that jiwon wants to drink the coffee from your coffee shop and as expected, you got almost immediately to the office with a few coffee cups in hand. there, soomin put a drug on your drink while you distribute the others for everyone else.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ there was no effect immediately, she isn’t that dumb to make a mistake like that. you began feeling ill after your parents take a visit to met the coworkers of yours, baek eun-ho. they loved the boy so much and were glad to someone like him help you around, all of them looked so proud of you for having a business that none of them saw your pale face immediately.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ as your body fall over the ground, eun-no called the emergency, but it was too late. you died there and everyone you knew attended the funeral of yours. your parents were devastated about your death, they cried the entire day as jiwon hugged them and tried her best to console them.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ she thought to be a tragic event, but during her final moments of living originally, jiwon heard soomin’s whispering how pleasuring was to poisoning you with that drink. “ poor [name]. always had your side and yet, you fail to see how I ended their life with a drop of poison~”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ when she comes back ten years in the past, jiwon has the plan to end her relationship with min hwan, expose soomin and save you. she can’t do the same mistake again, she needs you at her side and was a fool to not see how precious you are to her.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ as her plan goes on, jiwon hits on you. she takes you out to many places, such malls, bakery shores and art galleries. her hazel eyes enjoy watching you smile when you experience something new, those are moments she wants to keep in heart forever.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the office knows how important you are to jiwon, some think that the two of you are dating and she doesn’t correct them, after all, she broken up with her cheating husband and has someone like you at her side, so everyone see the two of you as a perfect couple, well almost everyone.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ jihyuk is the only one who knows the true. he came back in time too and has knowledge that you died years later by poisoning, he attended you funereal and cries over your death.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you don’t remember him, maybe by the fact he was older and in another class, yet you were know by the entire school. everyone knew you as sunshine back then, someone who was willing to help anytime, a smile on your face and by the many times you share your delicious food with everyone who asked.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the day you gave him a piece of cake was the day his heart beat faster. jihyuk wanted to talk with after it, but seeing you between jiwon and soomin made him being more careful. he knew that both women had feelings for you, however your attention was solely focus on the first one.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ when you died, jihyuk hold back his tears during the funeral and kept himself in the cold manner everyone always saw him. he couldn’t believe, how someone like you could die in a cruel way? he hadn’t no proof, but felt that soomin and min hwan had something do with your death.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ when he came back in time, jihyuk saw another chance to make you his and not let you die either. he become quite closer to you, visiting your coffee shop to talk about everything that came in his mind and surprisingly, you remembered him from high school.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ “ oh wait! i remember you. you were the boy who loved eating my homemade cakes and sweeties!”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he wanted to disappear that moment, but when you gift him a piece of cake with a smile on the face, jihyuk eat it and his cheek went red. he didn’t manage to hide it, become a little joke of your.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ did he actually mind it? no. but seeing how much your attitude become when joking about the little blush of his cheeks makes his day, not to mention the moments he manages to hold your hand for mere seconds. jihyuk can’t wait to feel your touch again.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ yet he is no fool to know that jiwon is after you too. her eyes become lively whatever you are next to her, he heard the many rumors that you began dating her after the broke up from her former fiancé. when asked why you don’t correct anyone about the rumor, you just brush off, saying that everyone always speaks about it, but know that jiwon is only a friend of yours.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ that’s mean he still has a chance to make him yours. jihyuk isn’t letting her having you, he knows how much important you are to jiwon, however he can’t lose you again. someone or something gave him another chance to fix it and this time, he won’t let you go no matter how, especially with jiwon, he won’t let her have you.

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost