#feel awful right now.

[technovillain]

oh man. i am so......... i will vent in the tags

[torosdottir]

the fact that ur childhood affects ur brain for the rest of ur life is sooooo fucking embarassing. yeah i have all these things wrong with me and i feel kind of bad and weird all the time. why? oh umm well my mummy and daddy were mean to me when i was 5. no yeah i know. yeah and im still living like this. yeah. cringe 😬

[whatevahwhatevah]

Sorry for disappearing again, have some more kyman

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[lyinginthesnow]

something about childhood in succession.. the way it casts its shadow over the entire narrative, the rotten root of the roy siblings’s pain, all wrapped up in Logan’s power and abuse and love. The opening credits are filled with images of them as kids, beginning every. single. episode. by emphasizing the importance of their childhood: the siblings posing for a photo, playing sports, standing on a manicured lawn, riding an elephant, etc. and then the shots of logan, in which he is always shown from behind, or far away. It is a childhood the viewer never gets to see in any other context, since there are no flashbacks in the show, and therefore as integral as it seems, we know almost nothing about it. What exactly happened? What are the details? We feel its presence, we can tell how it informs their relationships, we can put together the pieces of incomplete and contradictory memories expressed through dialogue, and if we trace their struggles and dysfunction back far enough we know it leads there, to when they were kids. But there is so much empty space we can’t fill in. It’s almost like their childhood is presented in that horror technique where you never get to see the monster clearly straight on. It’s always in darkness, and chopped up into close-ups so that the viewer’s imagination is forced to invent something, however vague, and that is far scarier than it would be if we could actually see it — a monster that is terrifying BECAUSE it’s unknown. The roy siblings’s childhood is a major force behind so much that happens on screen, but what specifically occurred is out of the reach of our understanding. We are shown the monster’s shadow but not the monster, we are shown the frightened faces of the characters as they look at something behind the camera we never get to see, we are shown the running or the fighting or the blood but never the true, bigger-picture, clear details of the horror itself

[aphel1on]

neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare

[shivunin]

the fact that you start the Tabris origin by literally stepping into your mother's shoes. the fact that what you get is a wedding outfit and your mother's worn boots, kept carefully intact for years, tucked away for this exact moment. the fact that you then immediately take the path she never could, leaving behind the alienage and the wedding and following Duncan (who would have recruited Adaia first, if not for baby!Tabris) to what ought to have been death.

And Then!! instead of fighting and falling as she did, cheating death and becoming the fighter she always intended you to be instead??? Reliving and simultaneously subverting the story of her life??

[dovewingkinnie]

feeling so sick rn and it’s 2 am 😭😭😭 the only way i can be cured is if 😭😭 an astronaut gives me a kiss or whatev😭😭😭

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

[shadowthian]

fuck it, original post because i'm pissed and have no idea what else i can do.

TL;DR: i was going to be in my new house today, but we got fucked over and are playing a waiting game for an extra 10 days. requesting donations to make sure i can eat while i'm stuck here.

so 2 days ago, we got up at 5 am, packed all of our remaining belongings, packed up the cats, and began a roadtrip to our new house in new york. we were gonna stop for the night halfway, then make the rest of the trip the next day.

my mom gets a call from our attorney while we're halfway through south carolina that the house was in fact NOT empty like we were told, and the man in there was refusing to leave, stating he had movers coming on the 28th and he would not be moved before then.

so, given we were transporting 5 people and 6 cats, we made the decision to turn around and drive ALL THE WAY BACK to a completely barren house, because we were promised compensation for travel expenses and bedding and shit related to this issue if we did that, and could not be assured compensation if we tried to wait it out in a hotel.

i had to quit my job on jan 17 because we were going to leave at the end of jan, but things got delayed until this point, and now i'm staring down AT LEAST another month without any income, and i'm fucking scared.

i know everyone is strapped for money right now and i absolutely hate begging like this, but at this point even five dollars is better than what i got right now. any donations will go towards food while i'm here and groceries for the new place.

my ko-fi is over at https://ko-fi.com/shadowthian/

if you made it this far, thank you. even just sharing this around helps, i really don't know what else to do.

[comfortfrogblog]

“everyone is capable of experiencing goodness and joy. not me th-“ *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

[dirtytransmasc]

when you read an absolutely heart wrenching, soul destroying, tear jerking, yet simultaneously sweet, hilarious, down right beautiful fic you've ever read in your life, you've gone through every stage of grief, you've cried, you've laughed, you've mourned... and you have to act normal to everyone around you....

I hate this

[greens-spilled-tea]

The people who insist that you have to be anti-endo/cannot be pro-endo or even neutral in order to access CDD resources, be those informational posts or discord servers or communities or anything else, are part of the problem of making it really hard to even separate CDDs from plurality as a concept. The more you double down on making these resources inaccessible to others with a CDD who have a different opinion from you on endogenic plurality, the more you conflate that endogenic plurality and CDDs are tied to each other.

Like, if your point is to curate a space for *yourself* where *you* feel safe and comfortable, that's one thing. But if you're out there making "communities" and "resource posts" and the like for the wider public, these things absolutely should not be gatekept. If specific individuals are in these spaces spreading harm and misinformation, then sure I understand wanting to keep other safe from people like that. But someone having a pro-endo stance and not even necessarily advertising that or not even engaging in conversation about endogenic plurality shouldn't be kept from CDD spaces.

[napping-sapphic]

Honestly so good that I’m too shy to talk to people because I’m like 80% sure my impulsive ass would just ask strangers if they wanted to try to fall in love just to see if we could

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[fuckyeah-bears]

I feel like trash sooo hard right now so here’s a bear