#feeling never touching but never far

[popping-greenbean]

people watching

[journey-to-the-attic]

uh oh

[hazelcallahan]

i don't wanna have any adventures unless they're with you. / i am, and have been for some time, just totally, ridiculously, desperately in love with you.

[discordkittenterumi]

do you kill on God's command?

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

[rxttenfish]

while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"

[hella1975]

ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[teddybeartoji]

PHOBIA OF SEAWEED IS AN ACTUAL THING?????????????????? you see i am not afraid of the open waters nor am i scared of the things that live there,, like i regularly spend time watching deep sea videos i think they're so cool but oh my fucking god the idea of KELP IS MAKING ME LIKE ACTUALLY TWITCH EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUGHHH okok actually looking at it is kind of fine but the thought of it touching my feet is genuinely making me wanna throw up😭😭😭😭😭

[bunnihearted]

🦈2

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

So frustrating that I spent most of my 20's alone and not getting laid and now my 30's are almost half over and the situation still has not improved 😩

[icarusdiesatdawn]

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how valuable it is to have stable friend group in close proximity. I love my friends and it feels a bit selfish to complain, but I genuinely feel lonely for missing out on that. Maybe the one thing I really took for granted when I was in school and uni. Adult life can be incredibly isolating on that regard I think

[lulu2992]

The first kiss 💕

In the hours that followed the meeting at the 8-Bit Pizza Bar, the news of John being alive reached everyone’s ears in Hope County… including Joseph’s who contacted the Junior Deputy the instant he knew, late in the evening, and requested to see the little brother he thought he had lost. He and Taylor agreed on a truce and that he would visit them the next day. Approximately 24 hours later, she anxiously drove to his compound to pick him up, but his calm demeanor and the fact he apparently trusted her enough to get into her car alone surprised her. When Joseph was finally reunited with John (who had insisted he needed a shirt for the occasion), he hugged him tightly, and Taylor decided to wait outside so they could talk in private in the small bunker she now called home. The Father came out of it moments later, visibly relieved, and told her John would only return to his Family the next morning because there was “no rush” and, that way, they could “sort everything out”.

The Deputy was a bit confused but, as it happened, “sort everything out” they did.

I had 11 “old” drawings to post and this is the 6th one; I’m getting there! My computer says this file is exactly one year old today :)

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

okay posting this now because i feel like the surprise song combo was so intentional and i hope we get to hear more about it on ttpd !! the getaway car/august/other side of the door mashup got my gears turning and now i can’t get them to stop.

the common thread between those three songs is the third party — i wanted leave him i needed a reason, you weren’t mine to lose, was she worth this? — and i know that basically ever since the breakup people have wondered if joe cheated, and this seemed like it could have confirmed it. while i definitely see the evidence for that, it hasn’t quite seemed like the right fit to me, and after this surprise song combo i finally figured out why. i don’t think that the third party she was singing about in melbourne was an actual person, but the idea of a person.

a huge theme on midnights is what led her to being who she is now. she is both the anti-hero and bejeweled, a mastermind and the unreliable narrator in dead reader… there are so many different versions of herself. clearly she was contemplating these different versions and the implications of being each of them.

a huge theme in gothic literature are characters that are not present in the setting, but the idea of them and what they would do is so strong that they end up influencing the story anyways. this happens in rebecca, the novel that inspired tolerate it, where the main character is haunted by living in the glorious shadow that rebecca cast, an impossible standard to live up to, despite the fact that rebecca died and actually, crucially, wasn’t as great as everyone made her out to be. but it doesn’t matter that she wasn’t that great or that she’s never actually there to be truly compared to because it’s the IDEA of rebecca that’s so powerful. it’s the GHOST that haunts the narrative.

and i wonder if that was part of what drove taylor and joe apart? not an actual ~other woman~ but the idea of who taylor could have been instead. all of the other versions of herself she contemplated on midnights. the third party she seemed to be singing about. even on other albums, before this, she’s contemplated what version of herself could be loved — “i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey, who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?” i wonder if there was an idea of taylor (a taylor that isn’t “too big to hang out”) that was so palpable, so real, that it ended up taking up the space of another person and haunting their narrative anyways? because, like the main character in rebecca, how could she live up to the idea of a perfect life?

basically: how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell has died? did you love the real me or the version of me in your head that perfectly fit into your world?

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i just remembered i do actually own night in the woods on itchio. i have never played that game before but i know for a FACT at least a couple of my friends love it very much. potential stream game for fall????? :]

[rxttenfish]

listen to me. listen.

sometimes things are better when theyre worse.