#felt like writing this because some people tend to have a weird way of treating the topic of mental health

[blakbonnet]

[graphic by @ofmdlovelyletters]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK @xoxoemynn

I've loved featuring some of the most incredible artists in the fandom for the AOTWs, and thanks to Connie's (@spirker) big brain, this week is dedicated to some of the most beloved fandom authors. I hope everyone will go and check out their fics, maybe discover some new works or give extra love to older beloved fics. There will be 3 authors featured this weekend, please give it up 🥁 for the first one: Emy who we all love.

When I think of an author whose writing feels like a warm, lovingly prepared bowl of soup by someone who wants you to eat and eat well: I think of Em's fics. It's impossible to imagine this fandom without her - not just her words but everything she is and does for her friends. I also strongarmed her into answering a few questions for me (kidding, she was very gracious, I kept harassing her to send the answers over 😌 I have no shame):

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

First comes the idea, which usually presents itself as “haha, wouldn’t it be funny/weird/wild if XYZ… wait a minute. I think I might be serious about that.” Once I’m pretty confident I’m actually going to write the story, I make a channel for it in the private Discord I created to keep myself organized. I’ll start jotting ideas down — doesn’t have to be in any particular order, just tone, beats I want to hit, any particular detail that’s pushing its way to the surface that’s demanding the story be told, and also grab any links, images, music, whatever, and stash them away for inspo later. I almost always have to create an outline for myself, even if it’s just a few bullet points, because otherwise I tend to just sit there spinning my wheels. If it’s a longer story, I’ll create a pretty fleshed out outline, and may also supplement it with an emotions matrix to keep track of the characters’ evolving mindset throughout the story. Tragically, I’m very much someone who needs to write in order. I’ve tried skipping around before, but inevitably I start feeling the tension of “well, how can I possibly write Scene 10 if I don’t know exactly what happened in Scene 5?” But if there are some scenes that feel more vivid to me in the brainstorming phase, I may write a few sentences just so I don’t lose that energy.

One Ed/Stede headcanon that's very dear to you and you love to explore it when you write.

I don’t know if I have one specific one. I generally treat them as my all you can eat buffet and like to play with different ones all the time, depending on my mood. But I’d say my “tell,” if you will, is taking some kind of ridiculous concept (being horny for clocks, running a sleepaway camp for singles, tooth fairies) and sussing out the Big Emotions, which often do circle around learning to be vulnerable in front of the one you love.

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

When I first started writing OFMD fic after S1, I would have said Ed. There was something about that vulnerability and raw heartbreak that I found really accessible, perhaps because I was finally coming out of the fog of my own recent traumatic breakup. But as I spent more time writing and in the characters’ heads, I realized it’s actually Stede. I see a lot of myself in him, and have discovered getting his voice right is a rather cyclical process: the more I understand him, the more I understand myself, and the more I understand myself, the more I understand him.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

I’m going to cheat and list two. The first is The Merry Strays of Lighthouse Sanctuary, which is my heart story. It’s not the first thing I wrote for this fandom, but it feels like it. I wanted to write a fic with a setting that felt to all the characters the way so many of us felt about the show itself — a place of hope, where everyone is loved and accepted and celebrated for exactly who they are. The second, which is definitely a harder sell due to the subject matter, is All Of These Lines Across My Face, which is the most personal thing I’ve ever written that I think has taken on a new, more meta meaning since the cancellation. Love is eternal; it changes everything it touches for the better. Ed and Stede’s world was forever changed because they loved each other; our world was forever changed because we loved OFMD.

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

Exquisite. But it’s NOT MY FAULT. They ARE exquisite!!! What am I supposed to do, just call them pretty? They are EXQUISITE!

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

YES! My beloved Hugo (@monksofthescrew/offsammich), who I’ve been working with since Merry Strays. I used to say I’d only use a beta if there was something I was particularly worried about in the story, but honestly Hugo makes everything I write SO much better that I don’t consider a story complete until her eyes are on it. Brainstorming the initial idea, helping me get unstuck in writing, pushing me to look at a scene from a different perspective, fixing all my verb tenses… truly could not do it without her.

Why OFMD?🥹

I found OFMD at a very transitional point in my life, when I finally started to feel healed from a few big traumatic events but didn’t know what to do now that I’d emerged from the fog. I experienced some panic that I had wasted too much time and the world had moved on without me while I was still struggling. OFMD showed me that it’s never too late, that you can always have a second (or third, or 300th) chance, that you deserve to be loved for exactly who you are, and, most importantly, that there’s always hope. It was like someone gently took my hand and said “I don’t care what your brain/society is telling you, there is a beautiful future in store for you, and you deserve all that it brings you.” These days it’s rare to find something with a message like that, that’s equal parts fierce and earnest. It’s something beautiful and precious, and I’ll be holding onto it forever. ❤️

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters and send your love for Emy and all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[creatingblackcharacters]

This might seem like a weird thing to get hung up on, but in reference to your post about Wyll's hairstyling, someone made the comment that they imagined Mizora used magic to braid his hair as part of their pact. You replied that this was a racist idea and offered to explain why, but they never commented back. If you're still willing to discuss it, I actually would like the explanation. I'm not disagreeing that it's racist, I just think I'm missing some of the nuances/reasoning.

The only explanation I can think of is the way that Wyll's relationship with Mizora is treated, both in and out of game, just makes the joke really not funny. I hate that Mizora is treated as a quirky, love-to-loathe-her side villain when she's essentially Wyll's abuser. She should be treated with the same gravitas that the writers treat Astarion's relationship to Cazador, or Karlach's relationship to Zariel. Then you've got the fans, who can write loads of rants and analysis of Mystra "grooming" Gale on what I would consider very little basis (adults can have teachers too), but stay pretty mum about Mizora, who started manipulating Wyll when he was 17, isolated him from any support systems he might have had, and literally tortures him with the torments of Hell for disobeying her. I forget which conversation it is, but Wyll even describes her visits to him after he completes a task for her as her "saying all the right words" and "touching him in just the right ways."

Maybe I just haven't seen people talking about it because I'm not looking in the right places, I tend to keep most fandoms at arm's length so I'm not swallowed whole by their nonsense. I'm sorry if this turned into an extra long vent message, but I hope it shows I care about Wyll as a character and the work you're doing in general to improve the portrayal of black characters in fiction and fandom.

I mean, you pretty much said it all. I mentioned in my hair lessons that hair is very important to Black people, and that it's also a matter of consent. You wouldn't want just anybody touching your body, and that includes your hair, yes? So it would be incredibly violating for some white person that is essentially your abuser touching your hair, your body, something that is important to you! How can there be real consent if someone OWNS you? Hair is something that requires trust and intimacy. Especially with the idea that a white person would know better how to do your Black hair?! No thanks.

It's also something that ties into my most recent lesson with stereotypes, plus issues with how men are perceived with abusers. The idea that a boy should be "grateful" that a woman is attracted to/attached to them, even when it's inappropriate. For me, what I see when I see Mizora is a white coded woman allowed to mistreat a young Black boy into his adulthood, and treated as though he brought it on himself, as if he deserves to be mistreated by someone who took advantage of him. I see that people won't take that violation seriously, bc no one cares about the dignity of Black bodies nor do we offer them grace under fire.

Whereas if this were a young white girl, and an older Black coded male demon had done these things to her, all hell would break loose. Fans would immediately understand that that sort of relationship is not appropriate and we should not just assume that "oh well it's just sexy".

I mentioned in the last lesson that this sort of "attraction" has gotten Black boys and men killed at the whims of white women. It's not "funny" to me to think that some white coded woman is allowed to treat Wyll that way and everyone is just... Cool with it. I'd be very nervous to ask your opinions on real Black people.

It's honestly why I felt uncomfortable getting interested in the fandom to begin with, in addition to everything else involved with Wyll and his VA Theo. BG3 doesn't seem like a welcoming place fr, and I too have to keep fandom at an arms length for racism reasons, but as I've done with fandom before this: that's my chance to maybe create something that's missing. 👍🏾

[dullgecko]

I love a trans Riz moment and one of my headcanons is that goblin names are gendered by the number of syllables (Pok, Sprak, Riz all being one syllable, Sklonda being two).

And we all know that middle school Riz was Going Through It in terms of bullying so he was almost certainly also misgendered constantly by the other kids.

I think that’s part of why Sklonda is so against the other Bad Kids using nicknames for Riz because The Ball is two syllables and they’re accidentally misgendering Riz (according to goblin grammar) and she has had enough of other kids misgendering her son because they think it’s funny.

It’s also why Riz hates the multi-syllable nicknames like Rizbert and Rizwalda and keeps insisting it’s “just Riz”. But equally he also doesn’t want to come out. He’s sure it would be fine, but he doesn’t want to risk it just in case things go wrong. So he doesn’t know how to explain it so he doesn’t say anything, but it definitely hurts every time they do it.

(I think at some point he does deserve to snap at them though, as a treat).

(I’ve been trying to write a fic about this for ages but the words aren’t wording right, so I offer it up as a humble headcanon to be rotated in other peoples brains)

Goblin biology is different from humans or elves or even half-orcs. They're goblinoid not humanoid after all, their anatomy was different and their ancestors could be traced all the way back to the fae realms in eons past. Like with most creatures of the fae realms their relationship between their biological sex and gender is fairly loose, or more realistically practically non-existant. Hells, if you want to be a different biological sex the switch is incredibly quick and easy. Just go and talk to one of your hordes elders and with magic you'd be done within half and hour. Simple.

Riz grew up in Elmville though and Solesians tended to be weird about the whole thing. Sex and gender seemed to be intrinsically linked for some reason and, in order to naturalise better, goblins tended to stick with the gender that most-accurately reflected what was expected of their current biology.

Riz was six years old when he told his dad he didn't want to be a girl and that was that. A quick jaunt up to his families ancestral home, dinner and a minor name change and he was back in Elmville ready for school on Monday. It should have been as easy as that but even after explaining that he was a boy now the kids at his school just didn't seem to understand. They constantly kept calling him by his old name, some of the Helio kids even going so far as to corner him and preach at him about how what he'd done was evil. The bullying lasted for years and followed him all the way through middle school, only adding more ammunition to what he was already dealing with just by being a goblin in the first place.

He thought he'd managed to leave he worst of the bullying in the past when he finally made it to high-school. None of the kids who knew him in middle-school had come to Aguefort so no-one knew that he was a girl before. Just to make double sure though he made sure to dress the part. No one would call someone in a suit a girl, it was the most masculine outfit he could think of after all.

Honestly it was going better than expected. He did wince initially at the whole The Ball nickname but that was fine. His friends didn't know the multiple sylables were a thing in goblin, though his mom still drew her lips into a think line and glared whenever she heard Fabian call him that. They didn't even call him that in a teasing way anymore, it was more of a title so he felt like it didn't have the same kind of connotation.

At the moment though they were teasing him a little bit. It was all good-natured, someone having commented that the nickname Fabian still used for him was weird and they should really think of another one. They'd rotated through quite a few humerous titles but had somehow strayed dangerously into nicknames playing off his own name which he protested.

"Oh! What about Rizbert? Or Rizmothy." Fig waved her spoon towards the goblin, swallowing around mouth full of icecream even as Riz winced.

"Guys no. Just Riz is fine. Or The Ball. I dont mind The Ball. Plus you keep making my name longer aren't nicknames supposed to be short?" He clutched at the glass of his milkshake, claws tapping at the glass as he tried to get them to change the subject.

"Yeah but you cant go shorter than Riz so we need to think of something else." Kristen nudged her shoulder against their rogue, the height difference meaning she just bumpd him directly in the head which made him make a quiet 'ow' and rub his temple where she'd clocked him.

"What about Rizzy?"

"Guys seriously I don't-"

"Rizriz?"

"Please stop."

"Rizbian, no thats too close to Fabian."

"Kristen honestly I don't like-"

"Rizgug! No wait same issue as the Rizbian one. OH how about Rizik."

The goblins eyes narrowed down to thin slits as the last name was said, Riz baring his teeth and slamming his glass into the table with a loud bang that made his party members jump.

"It's just Riz." He spat, venom lacing the short sentence as he pulled his ears back and down. Kristen holding her hands up in front of her in a defensive posture even as the goblin grabbed his breifcase off the seat beside him and slid down under the table.

Riz duck between his party members legs, not able to hear them calling after him over the sudden roaring sound of his own blood in his ears, and stalking out of the diner without another word. Milkshake dripping onto the spot where he'd just been sitting because the glass had cracked when he slammed it down with too much force.

They'd tried to follow after him but it was basically impossible after he left their line of sight, the rogue was incredibly adept at not being seen when he didn't want to be and he really didn't want to be right now.

He managed to drive his party into a mild panic after only a few hours, the goblin marking himself as offline in their group chat and declining their calls after a few rings (including Fabians, which did not bode well considering how pissed off he'd been when he had stalked out). Adaine had even tried to skry on him, but his wisdom was high enough that he easily slapped down her attempt and sent her a single text message consisting of the word 'no' before turning his crystal off completely.

They'd ended up splitting up to search for him across the city, heading for any spots he might go and promising to fill eachother in if they spoted him. Fabian had been circling the town on the Hangman for a while by this point, squinting down alleyways as he passed just in case he could spot their sneaky party member down one of them.

He'd passed the Strongtower Appartments at least twice before he thought to check there as well. Sure, it was a far too obvious a spot but maybe The Ball HAD just gone home.

Fabian hopped off The Hangman outside the front of the apartments, patting its seat and telling it to continue circling and searching without him as he stepped inside. He knew where Riz's appartment was, hells he even had a key these days, so he head there directly and let himself in.

He probably should have knocked before just barging in though, given that there was a rather pissed off goblin woman currently sitting at the dining room table glaring daggers at him. "Ah. Apologies. I did not expect you to be home. Have you purchance seen The Ball recently?" He had paused, half-inside the apartment with his hand on the doornob and very nearly backed all the way out again when she somehow managed to look more annoyed when he spoke.

"I'm not going to confirm or deny if I've seen Riz recently." She put heavy emphasis on his name, ears flicking as she interwove her fingers on the table in front of her. "But, if you have come to apologise I may see fit to pass it along when I do see him."

"Pardon?" Fabians look of genuine confusion made Sklondas demeanour shift, ears flicking into a more curious position rather than the angry one they'd been settled in before.

"You're not here to apologise for deadnaming him?"

"Sorry I'm not following? We were having lunch and he got pissed off and stormed out. We were looking for him because well.... we were worried and he switched his crystal off." Fabian entered the apartment completely, letting the door swing shut behind him with a click as he stood awkwardly in the entrance area.

"You called him Rizik."

"Kristen called him Rizik." Fabian corrected her, noteing that the normally open door to Riz's bedroom was shut. "Fig mentioned that you didn't seem to like when we called him The Ball and was trying to find a new nickname. I recall that may have been among them."

Sklonda rubbed her hands over her face, heaving a sigh before tipping her head back to look towards the ceiling as if asking a higher power for help. "Don't use that name again. Didn't you know it would upset him?" "No?"

The goblin woman gave him a confused look, pushing back her chair and heading over to Riz's room to knock on the door. Cracking it open slightly and chattering at the person hidden inside in goblin before shutting it again.

"Goddamnit kid. How are they supposed to know if you don't tell them." She donked her forehead against the closed door before turning back to face the fighter.

"Look he's fine and home. Tell the others that but he doesn't want to see anyone at the moment. I think he's mostly feeling silly about getting so pissed at you all and storming off because you couldn't have known it would upset him." She pointed a finger at Fabian before waving for him to sit down at the table. The half-elf pulling out a chair and sitting down obediantly when directed to.

"The kids at his last school used to call him Rizik all the time and thats because it was his name. He shortened it when he told us he was a boy and I'm only telling you this because he said i could. Don't tell the others."

Fabians eye went a bit unfocused as he tried to process what he was being told, eyebrows shooting high on his forehead when he finally put it together. "TOLD you he was a boy.... So he wasn't before... Ah. Deadname. Understood. I'll.... inform the others that that particular nickname is completely off the table."

[callsign-songbird]

OK ok ok, my mind is churning with an AU

So, we know Charlie's wonderful slasher Simon AU, right? Well, I just finished the second scream movie and BOY do I have thoughts for my own vaiernt of the Slasher Simon AU.

College.

Sports.

Murder.

Of course, not for any convoluted reason like Micky or Ms. Lumen, no. Just because Simon had a rough upbringing, and it's one of the only ways he knows how to releive stress. Besides, he's always found knives and firearms fascinating, especially his KBAR and his Snake Eye. The first time was an accident, the second time felt good, and after that? After that was just... Ghost.

They can go to an rotc specializing college (idk if those exist, but it's 4 am, I'll finesse the details later) ANYWAY they can be split up by Dorms!! Like, dorm TF141, and K0RT4C.

Laswell could be the headmistress, or Vice President

Price would totally be the golden boy dorm leader. He has to make sure that the boys under his jurisdiction stay safe and abide by dorm rules. He totally acts like the father of the group and always gets mistaken for a teacher (although, he does tutor students who fall behind, even if they aren't in his dorm)

Gaz could be the clumsy right-hand man who always has the scoop around campus (Golden retriever boy) always wears a baseball cap or letterman jacket, sometimes both.) He's the little brother of the group, definitely. Not to the point where he is baby, but definitely to the point where the others help him out a bit more and tend to give him advice (whether it's warranted or not) and he totally looks up to Price.

Soap is a study abroad student from Scotland who takes his studies almost as serious as his Rugby. A total Jock, but not the sleazy kind, the kind that takes a drunk girl home and writes her a note explaining what happened while leaving a bucket by her bed and some pedialite on the bedside (because not everyone can drink like him) going with the brother theme, Soap is TOTALLY the older brother, you can't tell me I'm wrong. I totally headcannon that he grew up in a stable household with three younger sisters, so he's just used to being the big brother.

Simon would (obviously) be the Ghostface. The scream movies are really good at keeping you guessing who the killers are, so it really wouldn't be obvious at all. He's buff from sports and the time he spends either at the gym or training in martial arts for his expected military career, of course he still likes dark humor and really bad jokes, and has a penchant for skull themed clothes, going as far as to wear a skull-print balaclava in winter. (Soap has declared himself as Simon's best friend. Simon won't admit it, but it's true.) Keeping up with the brothers theme, Simon is DEFINITELY a middle child. Quiet, reserved, brooding, tries to keep to himself so people tend to overlook him. Middle child all the way in this dorm dynamic. (Though, being a murder isn't exactly his LIFE, more of a hobby to let off steam, so it isn't really the focal point of the AU so much as college shenanigans)

And Roach (Because in my AU roach is alive and well) if the dorm is a family, then Roach is the pet, or the Wine uncle who occasionally shows up at 3 in the morning to steal snacks. Roach is the dorm party animal, always up to trouble, always has a drink, everyone loves him, and he always seems to know everything about everyone on campus. But he's also a feral gremlin who says and does weird things (like taking naps in the ceiling on lunch) all the time, so half the time no one takes him seriously. Odd and feral as he may be, he's still part of the dorm, and everyone treats him as such.

I still have to think about the K0RT4K dormmates and their dynamic, as well as the Ghosts squad, but oh my gosh, let me know if you want any more, and please send asks if you're interested! Though, I'll probably be drabbling more about it anyway, lol

[not-poignant]

Hello! I read some of your reposts about importance of comments and that any can be usefull to self evaluation as author. My question - is it weird and uncomfortable if people bring too many personal problems commenting your fics? Like, do you distant yourself out from comments that bring a lot of person's drama, does it feel uplifting in the end, if comment is a lot about reader's not so happy history? Can you still feel joy from that kind of comment?Thanks for unswer if you do.Have a nice day!

Hi anon,

So, this is kind of complex. I would say the vast majority of people don't overshare at all, and when they are sharing from their lives, it's in a way that makes complete sense and is very 'contained.' I can tell they're not expecting emotional labour from me, and that they're sharing because they found a point of resonance between themselves, the story, the situation, or the character/s, or a combination of all of the above.

And like, that's a part of why I write, y'know? I want to strike up that sense of resonance in folks who relate to these characters, so when people share that it has resonated, that's like... purposeful and meaningful to me. I feel like I've made a connection. I also sometimes feel sorrowful - like when someone explains they relate to Efnisien because of abuse they've also experienced, or when someone explains that they relate to a character's chronic illness because of their own.

But I can also generally tell through tone and language that the commenter doesn't expect labour from me, they're speaking their pain into the world in a way that's like 'this is me, and here's this character, and we both share this thing in common.' In a perfect world, none of us would know what this kind of pain is like. In this world, a lot of us do, and we get to feel less alone when we read stories where we feel seen.

And that is, by and large, the general experience when readers share something personal that they resonated with in a comment.

That being said, I do also maintain very strong boundaries with people's personal matters, because I'm not someone who's 'healed and above all my own issues who is sharing what I've learned to people still going through it' I am someone who is still going through it. And often folks have no idea what kind of day I'm having or how I'm feeling when they comment, and so... on the very very rare occasion I do get a comment that feels like it's pushing for some kind of emotional labour that's beyond what I can give... I will not give that labour. I will acknowledge their comment, thank them for reading, and not...give energy I don't have to spare.

And like, honestly, 99 times out of 100, everyone is very respectful of that and even caring towards it.

I can probably count on like two hands, in ten years, the commenters who I felt had become very self-focused or what I felt was over-sharing in comments in a way that sort of...was no longer about me or the story, where they just treated the comment section as a diary instead. In those cases I tend to leave very brief acknowledgements, as a kind of 'I see this, I know this is painful, but this is not my lane, and I don't want this to be my lane.' But a more compassionate version of that.

If anything, the most personal stories, anon, come to me in Asks that are sent via Tumblr, off anonymous, so I can reply privately. These folks are usually very...aware that I might not be in the space to hear them, and are frankly the most 'if you don't have time or energy to reply please don't pressure yourself', so I feel no burden or obligation and that usually makes it easier to reply in my own time.

The ones that come to me via anon, I only reply to selectively, and that depends on a few factors. Some things are extremely personal and frankly I'm not comfortable replying because even if I did it would be to say 'I think a professional needs to handle this.' I've also - very rarely - had a few people do things that were not cool, to manipulate me into caretaking them, usually because they want the comfort feeling that one of my characters creates, and then from there thinks 'Pia made that character so they can give that to me instead.' This doesn't happen often, but it's very distinct when it does.

But that's rare! Super rare!

It might be that others read the comments of folks in fics and think 'I would never share those kinds of details about my life like that' and that's fine for them - but some folks do need to share, and want to feel seen because they felt seen during the fic, and I have no problems with that in general.

I have learned so so much about the human condition, about the fact that things that I thought literally no one would relate to are things that actually a lot of people relate to, etc. through the grace and vulnerability of the folks who comment on my fics with personal anecdotes or even just 'I've been through something like this, and I thought you showed it well / it's a painful thing to go through.'

I know a lot of authors wouldn't have much patience with that maybe? I don't know. I'm literally writing trauma recovery, mental illness and chronic illness, queerness and neurodivergence, and people going through tough times. I don't think an author ends up writing that stuff if they're generally not looking to make a connection with fellow folks who have also gone through some tough times! And even if I can't be those people's support systems, I think all of us having these ephemeral moments of effectively saying: 'Same bro' through the comments, is pretty powerful, and magical, actually.

Caveat: If a person brings personal problems into my fics with the expectation that I will then fix them, that's something I don't really do and don't enter into. That's where my boundaries are firm. Sometimes I won't even acknowledge those kinds of situations at all. If a person reads something for free and then seeks to obligate a complete stranger into being their support or therapist, there's a much bigger issue going on there that isn't my business, and I generally will maintain significant distance in those situations.

TL;DR - I don't think I'd write these stories if I didn't want to make connections with folks who have also gone through some hard times. The vast majority of people who bring up personal stuff aren't necessarily bringing me 'joy' - but I don't just look for joy in the comments, anon, I also look for connection, resonance, moments of feeling less alone, and sometimes that's not easy, but it's still very special. As for the very rare occasions where someone wants me to personally hold their hand, I step back, because a) that's not my job, and b) I don't think folks realise sometimes just how much proverbial hand-holding I need as well lol - I might sound like I have my shit together, but I do not.

[harukamitsuki]

i really resonate with your opinions about lance and the fandom surrounding him, but you really kill it any time you say some shit like "i wonder if people would treat him the same if he was white"

they 100% would. this is tumblr, bro. most blorbos are white. just look at the previous main three shows, superwholock. lance being cuban has nothing to do with him being treated the way fandom treats him. he is just, like you said, an everyday man who's easy to project on.

another critique i personally have of voltron is that while everyone's skin tone and background is varied, they all have always felt white to me. they have no cultural identity in the show. was hunk's samoan background ever even named or did we just get that from a book or a tweet? i feel like viewers shouldn't have to use outside material to complete the story in front of them.

the fact that we never got that in the actual writing of the show really pissed me off. and this is as someone who's latino. lance has always felt incredibly white to me because the writers spent no fucking time adding any cultural elements into is character. even if he was a no sabo kid incredibly distant from his culture due to growing up at a boarding school, that would still be something. idk if we ever got anything about him being cuban in the show.

part of the writer's inability to write complex characters is also their inability to write poc.

i think this is also why lance works as an everyday man.

my point is that lance would still be very loved if he was white. he's not getting any extra love bc he's cuban. honestly, i feel like his cuban identity just means fanfic writers get to use google translate for shitty spanish lines that make no sense for the story and to occasionally fetishize him. they put no actual effort into understanding his cuban background. and why would they? the writers of voltron never bothered to.

Yeah, no, I get that. Lance is very white, but because his skin isn't and he's canonically Cuban, people tend to forget that? Luz from the Owl House is 100% latina and it feels like she is. Because she speaks spanish and her mother speaks spanish to her. It doesn't have to be in-your-face, but it would have been nice to hear the POC characters mumble their home language under their breaths, or to speak idioms the other don't know because it's not a universal thing.

For example, everyone knows 'don't bite off more than you can chew', but it's 'the one that embrace a lot, cannot keep it together'. They mean the same thing, but it would have been nice for Lance to just come out with that and everyone is confused until he explains.

Or Hunk calling his parents 'tina' and 'tama', meaning mom and dad respectively. It would have been nice if he made dishes inspired by Samoan culture, such as koko alaisa, or something.

If there was just one scene where one of them struggled to find a word in English, I would have been a lot more convinced that they're POC. Just one scene where someone is all 'oh, what was the word. you know? that thing! the thing, you know!'. Just one short scene.

Or, like, a culture clash? As in, they compare something on an alien planet with something common in their homeland and the others are just like 'what? That isn't normal.' And it just delves into a conversation about what is normal in the US but weird in their home countries.

There's just so much that Voltron could have done, but it doesn't which is a massive shame.

[farfromstrange]

Ok so

Daddy issues is so relatable, as in like growing up in a rough childhood (specially with a dad like that) I felt it to my bones.

Srsly, your writing made me feel like I was being heard. Like, now people are gonna realise why I don’t like when people get mad and raise their voices, why I’m such a people pleaser, why I wanna be liked more than hated.

And I can’t thank you enough, because not only did I feel like my story is kinda being said. But THE MATTHEW MURDOCK is the king comforting me, and I felt a huge sense of comfort (it sounds weird Ik) when I finished reading that.

I keep on rereading it a lot and it makes me feel so safe and secure for some reason.

Ik, you’re probably not gonna read this 😭😭.

But this is my thank you for being such an amazing writer!!!

LOVE ALL YOUR WORK SIS, DON’T STOP BEING AMAZING 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Nonnie, it took me two days to figure out how on earth to reply to this because it made me so emotional, I struggled to find the right words.

First of all, I’m so horribly sorry that you had your childhood was the way it was. It’s not something you would wish on anyone. I think no one really wants to relate to what I discussed in Daddy Issues, but there are a lot of people who do, especially from the experiences they’ve had with their fathers. It’s needless to say that you deserve the world and that being treated like that is not the way to treat your own child.

That being said, you being so brave as to tell me this made my heart swell to, like, twice its usual size because I realized once again that this right there is the reason I even decided to post Daddy Issues. As self-indulgent as that fic is, and as much as I struggled with whether to post it or not, I figured that some of you guys might feel the same way or have experienced something similar, so I posted it in the hopes of not crossing a line by being too personal.

Reading all the responses ever since I posted it made me come to the realization though that a lot of you have also been traumatized by at least one parent in your lives, and it’s a cathartic experience every time to see and hear that I’m not alone in this, in what I’m struggling with—what we’re struggling with—and that you guys now know that you are not alone in this either. That’s why posting this fic was 100% worth it.

People who have not gone through the same thing often have a hard time understanding why we cry when someone yells at us, or why we feel like we always have to please everyone. They don’t understand that daddy issues often stem from serious trauma—it’s not just being drawn to dangerously older guys, and it’s not something to be sexualized in that context because daddy kinks are an entirely different thing—and that tends to make you feel extremely lonely because you feel like you’re exaggerating and ‘oh a lot of people have had it worse than me’. That’s hurtful though because everyone’s feelings are valid, and trauma will always be horrible, no matter the extent.

(And there is hardly enough representation of that particular psychological issue)

I didn’t think this fic would bring that many people together, but I’m so glad it did. I’m so glad it gave you, nonnie, some semblance of comfort, and that you’re finally feeling some kind of heard. Because you are. I feel you.

Sometimes all it takes is someone who understands. Sometimes we all just need a little bit of comfort. And sometimes people don’t understand, but the important thing to note is that you’re not alone. You’re never alone.

Anyway, you just made me cry. I’m not even kidding. I feel so grateful that I get to share my experiences with you through fiction, and that it actually helps you guys in a way. And it’s words like yours that inspire me to keep writing, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Whoever you are, I hope you’re having an amazing day, and I’m sending you a big hug 🫶🏻 And this is also a gentle reminder that you’re going to be okay!

[tellywoodtrash]

hiiiii tt!! hope ur doing well <333

i wanted some advice from you, if that's okay. i started college this year and the experience has been ... nothing like i imagined lol. basically, i've been lonely my entire life. i'm also autistic and i think thats part of why its so hard for me to make friends. i really thought college would change that, idk why. its not like i bought into the ultimate karan johar college fantasy or anything like that, i just thought it would be...better than my school life, at least. for the first month, it kind of was. i was talking to lot of people and even getting along with them, at least i thought i did. but then one by one everyone just, like, stopped talking to me??? i don't get it.

like, one of the first friend groups i made in college, almost all of them decided to join a college society together, while i decided not to because i wasn't really interested in that particular club. then they all but forgot about me, once they joined that society. they made new friends over there and of course, all of them were still friends among themselves, but it was like i didn't even exist anymore. maybe i shouldn't take it so personally but i genuinely made an effort to keep that friendship alive and literally got nothing in return from their side.

then i made friends with some other girls in my course and all three of them literally got boyfriends at the exact same time and they started ignoring me too. at this point i feel i am the problem. because the reason all of these people (who i have only known for a few months, at best) abandoning me hurts so much is because this is how i've been treated my entire life. and now i feel like i will never escape it. if i somehow haven't been able to form a genuine bond with ANYONE for my entire 18 years of existence on this earth, clearly something is very wrong with me. i have no friends (never had them in the first place) and i don't even get along with my family. i am so completely alone and i just do not know how to cope with that.

i'm tired of being ghosted by everyone i consider a friend and then only being remembered when they need something. they are only my friend when it's convenient for them. college was supposed to be a fresh start but it just proved that every new "start" of mine will have the same old ending. i hate to let my pessimism get the best of me but i have no hope left in me. i have always felt like i had so much love to give, but no one to give it to. now, however, i don't see the point in trying. i am scared to even try to talk to people at this point, i feel like i will just fuck it up like i always do.

this is way too long already and idek why i'm writing all this but thank you for reading ig. i hope ur doing better than i am 💗

Hi hi friend,

First of alll, come here youuuuu.

Secondly, it's not really you. It's just the age and inherent nature of most 18 year olds; they tend to be a little flaky and unreliable. Couple that with college being the first real taste of freedom desi kids get, and yeah...... This shit tends to happen. You're right in that you shouldn't take it personally. Sometimes people just don't vibe with each other and that's okay. Sometimes people are rude and uncommunicative, and again, that's on them, not you. You shouldn't let this stuff get you down or lose hope in ever finding your tribe. It takes time. Sometimes they're right in front of you and you don't really consider them your "kind" of person, until one random conversation/situation you're thrown into with them proves to you that they indeed are! All I am saying is that you have your whoooooooole life ahead of you, and you're going to meet soooooo many people through it, and you WILL meet someone or the other whose weird will match yours. Whether that be irl or online.

Your line of having so much love to give but no one to give it to really resonated with me, coz I've felt that way so many times in my life too. But there is someone who needs it - YOU. Give yourself that love and consideration. Use this time to build a strong sense of self and have an unshakable bond with yourself. Do the things you love and pamper + better yourself in every way that you feel like. Alone does not have to mean lonely, not at all. There's literally so much you can do by yourself, like take classes, volunteer, etc, that will be such an enriching experience to who you are as a person. In time, whenever your people do show up, they'll be a fun bonus. You won't NEED them, but they'll just be a wholesome addition to your grounded little life that centers all around yourself.

Sending you lots of love 🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖

[munchbell45]

yahiko and yamato for the character ask game :D !!

I'm not good at the song association thing, so I will skip that one. Sorry. IDK, I tend to listen to instrumental stuff, and I don't always think "OMG, this is so Skleeby from Splungo's Adventure" when I listen to music.

I will say that i sometimes picture (in my mind) angsty AMVs or animations of Nagato and Konan (post-Yahiko's death) set to Anemoia by Oliver Buckland. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0guReRtGWI&pp=ygUHYW5lbW9pYQ%3D%3D

Though that may be because the song was used in a really cool video game trailer.

Yahiko

Favourite thing about them?

I love his sincere desire to change the world for the better, as well as his love of others and hope for a better future. Of course, it's not just hope but also a DRIVE to make the world better. He just seems like such a sweet, hardworking dude, and if he was real I would love to know him.

Least favourite thing about them?

The fact that we don't get to see more of him. TBF, he died well before the start of Naruto, so we only see him through memories (and that one weird Infinite Tsukuyomi filler story, but I digress.) I want to see how he'd interact with MORE canon characters, I want to see MORE of the original Akatsuki, and I want to know MORE about the Hidden Rain Village.

I'd love a spin-off miniseries about the Hidden Rain Village.

Favourite line?

I'm not always the best at memorizing lines, but I'll go with this one, where he sets out to go on a mission to scout out an area.

"This land is crying, as usual. It continues to endure much pain. In the past, I hated this land that was crying all the time. But now... I want to save it... I truly feel that way. It's too much like the crybaby I used to be for me to leave it alone."

brOTP?

Obviously he is besties with Konan and Yahiko, they have a truly inseparable bond. I also imagine that he was close with each and every member of the original Akatsuki.

Sadly, there are only a few characters we see him interact with in canon, and many of them are minor.

In a happier timeline where nothing bad happened and the Hidden Leaf was magically not corrupt at all, I could see him being friends with Naruto.

OTP?

Nagato/Yahiko/Konan. They have a deep bond, forged through their collective efforts to endure many hardships. To me, it's as if they are destined to be together and to always develop a deep, intimate care and affection for each other. Even if they were to reincarnate, they'd find each other once more.

nOTP?

Yahiko/Obito, Jiraiya/Yahiko (IDK if anyone ships that, LOL,) Zetsu/Yahiko, Madara/Yahiko (Is that a thing?)

Random headcanon?

He learned how to do a lot of basic repairs, so that if the shack got beaten up, he could fix it. I could also see him loving children.

Unpopular opinion?

My man's underrated. I feel like most people tend to either forget about him or just think of him as the guy that became the Deva Path. I mean... I get why, but I wish he was more popular. How can you not love him?

Favourite picture of them?

Two options. I hope these load in.

A: This panel (I am typing this on my computer and GIMP is being a bitch, so no crop.)

B: (My PFP as of 2/5/2024)

Yamato

I am very neutral on him, so my apologies for some lame-ass answers. Also, i felt like I spent a lot of time writing my opinions on Yahiko.

Favourite thing about them?

His abilities were neat, as one of the few who could use Wood Style. i also respect how he tried his best to keep Team 7 in check and (later on) help rebuild the Hidden Leaf after Pain destroyed it.

Least favourite thing about them?

The fact that he was sidelined for most of the War Arc, serving little use outside of buffing up Zetsus. IDK, that was kind of disappointing.

Oh, I also feel weird about the fact that he's supposed to watch Orochimaru in Boruto. Like, if we treat the anime backstory as canon, dude should be traumatized by Orochimaru.

Favourite line?

That one where he threatens to use "draconic measures" on Team 7 when they keep arguing and fighting each other, I guess.

brOTP?

Kakashi once they are both adults. Sai after he is free from Dan's control, since they could relate to each other a lot (especially if you treat his anime backstory as canon.)

I could see maybe see him befriending Anko as well.

OTP?

KakaYama?

Maybe Yamato/Shizune. Yamato/Anko would either be cool or would suck.

nOTP?

Yamato/Orochimaru, Yamato/Kabuto

Random headcanon?

After the War Arc, he hangs out with Asuka, Kurenai, Guy, and Kakashi. They all reminisce about being teachers and vent to each other about weird crap that happens on the job.

Unpopular opinion?

Um... I thought the ANBU Kakashi filler arc (and Yamato's role in it) was overrated.

Dude needs more development, but that's probably the opposite of an unpopular opinion.

Favourite picture of them?

I hope this one loads in. I've been taking way too long writing this.

[growling]

Not even at the Top Three reasons I've mainly left the wc fandom and instead just do my own thing on my own tag, but incredibly frustrating nonetheless. How wc tumblr just treats people making their own fix-it aus for fun.

I don't know how it is for other fandoms, but the amount of people making their own rewrites of the wc series is.... massive. Basically every single guy in here if free to have a go at it if they want, and nobody cares, it's basically everybody here that makes up their own version of canon because the actual books are widely agreed upon to, well... *gestures at the misogyny, ableism, racism ex. the tribe, casual fatphobia, iffy at best portrayal of abuse, terrible and lazy writing in general* kinda suck.

it is kinda considered Normal in here, since it's so common, and as result, people just got... Really entitled? dare i say downright unhinged about other people's silly AUs?

One aspect that I feel is the most prevalent in this, that literally nobody talks about because of course, is the absolute condemn of anything realistic or "uncool". I remember there was that one post floating around a few months (years?) back, that basically said "[quoting. im lazy] I think the main problem with warriors rewrites is they get so bogged down in ‘trying to make sense’ or ‘make them act like actual cats’ is they forget to make things COOL AS SHIT. Like yes your bloodclan has 200 pages of foreshadowing but is it still COOL AS SHIT? (...) If your warrior cats rewrite wouldn’t result in 200 scourge animations of him being cool as shit if it was the canon material you have failed." and just for clarification I do not have anything against the person that posted it, I do not think they were being intentionally rude in any way. But. Both before it there was a problem, and after it got passed around enough I think people got the Wrong Idea. Or maybe the Right One idk man, and just found a way to describe how they felt about some of the rewrite projects going on.

The fandom is largely ranging from dismissing to outright hostile towards people making aus/rewrites/other fics where the Clans are more realistic or have more rigid naming rules, for example, ones where the cats act more like cats, many events don't really get to happen or are changed due to just not working in a more realistic universe, traditional and similiar naming systems, accurate genetics, so on so on. And I do admit there was once a problem where those people who prefer more realistic styles, especially the traditional namers, were pushing it onto others and acting really mean towards people just looking to have fun and not really pay attention to any naming rules; however, it was a long time ago, and has mostly died down. Nowadays, all the trad namers I know of are actually pretty chill, and there's very few of them. (Like, we are dying over there lmao the numbers are going down every year)

However, the fandom just, really has not moved on from those times (and I'm asking, was that really that prevalent back then? or are these people just exaggerating as always?) and continues to be just.... really bitter of tradnamers. Constantly convinced that they are "ruining their fun" just by having their own spaces somewhere. One blog of the more traditional kind that I followed got sent an ask somewhere along the lines of "oh yeah sure your fanfic is 'realistic', but would it have people make sick amvs about it in the 2010s???" and I just. Knew where they got the idea. Not even exclusive to just in traditional system, but people tend to get very weird towards people that choose to change up parts of cats' names they don't like or find unsuited for their au? for example, changing Longtail's name to Lizardtail because it's odd for a queen to just name their son longkit, or Runningwind to something different all together because they find the prefix "Running-" really silly to name a baby or because the suffix "-wind" is already the name of another Clan in canon, or changing the names of some other cats just because they don't suit them or the circumstances behind them are iffy to them. (I personally find it pretty fun, and has renamed a considerable deal of cats in my own: ex. Jayfeather -> Jaywing, Longtail -> Lizardtail, Loudbelly -> Minkbelly, Clawface -> Clawedface, Hollyleaf -> Hollythorn)

Apparently, it's "boring", or ruining other people's fun somehow despite them not needing to read them? Lyrical namers (opposite of traditional, if anybody needs an explanation: tradnaming assigns hard defined rules to the names that clan cats can have, while lyrnaming does not have any rules and is about just naming them whatever you like if you think it is cool or sounds pretty) act like they're constantly being persecuted en masse by the Mean Traditionalists that brutally force them to conform, while.... the lyrnamers are actually the overall majority, while tradnamers are now pretty uncommon and usually literally just mind their own business. It's "let people have fun" but only for the things that you personally find fun, don't even dare to like to have rules or any of these things, it's not like any people in particular actually find creating their own suffix meaning systems personally fun or anything, they just want to name the cats ugly/boring shit because they're killjoys. Yeagh

Same with people changing cats' designs to be more realistic simply because they prefer it that way, who then get vagueposted about and called "uncreative". A very small percent of artists actually know real life cat genetics, and none of them, at this current time (people were very different say, like, 10+ years ago in the fandom. things tend to change) i have ever heard of apparently forcing anybody upon these things.

Not every silly warrior cats au of some random 16 year old with like 12 followers needs to be Cool to your near impossible standards. "Let people have fun" means also letting people have fun that you personally don't understand or don't find fun personally. I get so anxious whenever I force myself to word anything and then end up forgetting half of it in the middle of it so if I didn't include something or if a sentence looks weird then that may be why. But basically, what I'm saying is: can't we just hold paws and sing masterpiece theatre iii by marianas trench for fucks sakeee can we calm the fuck down

[sophieinwonderland]

We have so many thoughts on the "imitative DID" bs

We agree with everything you said. We have DID, we're pretty sure we're diagnosed.

Seeing it is filled with ableism about cluster B disorders is fucking awful. And this whole idea that having headmates alleviates the blame magically just demonstrates how unaware people are. System accountability is a massive thing!

And like different systems may have different levels of amnesia or amnesia for different things. Yeah sometimes we don't remember doing X bad thing! Genuineally. Based on who's fronting. Because usually those "bad things" are done in joint with a reaction to a trigger and us blowing up + going overboard. Who knew that alters with severe reactions because of not being well adjusted and understanding they're no longer in a trauma environment might have more barriers than others.

People also love for some reason to use documented symptoms of having trauma or even documented symptoms of DID as somehow being symptoms of... not having it.

And gods the way they treated that poor woman...

---------------- Now onto the "hysterical group" as they called it which I know they'd lump us under

We have a shit ton of amnesia. We are usually ambivalent to it. Often we both find it amusing and will sob and cry and get angry and feel nothing and laugh. Because with our multiple issues comes no emotional regulation. Shocker we have autism as well which makes us in our case collectively not be capable of comprehending emotions. We feel them but we literally with our form of the disability and how it affects us- are incapable of understanding emotions.

We also have excessive and extreme amnesia- we're one of the very extreme cases. And because we're an extreme case- these people would've shut us down. Somehow being so amnesic you have score "too high" is a red flag for these people?

And yeah we're happy with each other. Which our therapist AGREES with being a good thing. Some alters hate each other too but like eh it happens sometimes. (We're a massive system). And yeah we do actually state who's fronting if asked. Our therapist asks every session. And though we do have a mostly covert form of switching she can pick them out because she's a therapist who has seen this many times before. We when somewhat masking as we tend to irl even in her office have similar voices and unless it's a jump from one alter archetype to another- similar posture. But she can pick up on us dropping off and re-adjustng and asking to go over what was said or the lies of "zoning out" and "oh sorry I got distracted" that we're used to having to do.

We also tend to have our autism cause us to use very big words. And this is in all contexts as well. So I can definitely back that one up.

And then of course the addition sexism, sexualization, mockery, claiming of lying about trauma (because people love to ignore reality- we literally sobbed when our therapist first told us she believed us because that is the first time anyone irl has said that to our face- it is the only time we have felt safe in almost 2 decades).

And not even touching on the false memories topic. Literally earlier today (or yesterday its around midnight as I write this) we told our therapist about how people have claimed this to be real and she got genuineally mad. Incredibly upset and was very helpful in making sure we weren't slipping back into denial and going to spiral because of it again. It's something that is not and never has been a real scientific theory and all "evidence" of it does not meet the criteria to be considered viable.

A lot of people with trauma struggle to accept they have it. And especially in this case where the example they used was a MCSA (mother csa)- it really plays into sexism again. Part of sexism is also the idea women can't be abusers. This is something that has plauged trauma spaces for a while and driven out a lot of survivors. People think it's weird when a survivor is just as scared of women as men. Or is only scared of women and not men. people assume men are seen as scary and women are safe and docile as default. And that just is genuine sexism.

(sorry this was so long lol)

☝️👏

Agreed on all points. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and for this incredibly detailed and well-written addition! 💖

[kimmimaru]

So, probably a bit TMI (mentions of mental health) for random internet strangers but oh well. I'm sticking it under a cut for people who don't care lol.

So, I've been having a...difficult time lately. I'll keep it simple and just say I'm struggling pretty bad with personal shit. Anyway, I was considering looking into counselling but the NHS no longer fund talking therapy, it's only CBT and stuff which is helpful but not what I need. So I'd have to pay through the nose. And even if I could afford it I've only been able to find 1 single person in my entire town who specialises in treating autistic people. There may be more but honestly I have no idea where to even begin looking. Also like there's loads of groups for older people and people with toddlers but nothing for parents of older kids, groups for the parents I mean. I struggle very badly with making friends and talking to people, I'm awkward as fuck and have no idea how to socialise. Unfortunately I'm not a child so don't have anywhere to go to meet people like me. It's hard to make friends when neurotypicals have an instinctual dislike of autistic people (ok not everyone but apparently they can identify people as 'weird' without even speaking to them and generally tend to avoid us). Sorry, I did say this was probably TMI, but I'm just so fucking lonely and so stressed I'm having heart palpitations. I'm not sleeping either and unfortunately I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it so this is why I'm posting this here. Its at least just getting it all off my chest, even if it's not a long term solution maybe it'll be enough to actually help me get some sleep tonight. My mum was the person I talked to about all this shit, the only one I felt I could actually confide in and she's gone. I have family but they're busy with their own lives and tbh...I never felt like they ever really got me. My dad's a very closed off man, not in a cold way, he was always affectionate but he and my mum got divorced a long time ago and since then I've never felt able to talk to him about deep stuff. I suppose it's something to do with broken trust and all that crap. My sisters are way too busy and have their own problems and lives and my only brother is a lot older than me and far away. They all love me and care about me, I have never doubted it but none of them are neurodivergent. They don't understand me really and never have (that's not a self pitying 'oh woe is me' it's just a fact). It's a very weird feeling to be surrounded by people who love you but knowing they just don't get you. I am extremely aware that people would kill to have what I do, a big, loving family and they try really hard to understand and help but sometimes you just need more weirdos like you who see the world the same way and have the same kind of issues you do. What I want is a day. Just one single fucking day where I can just do what I need to do around the house without just staring at it for hours before I work up the spoons to do it. I want one day where I can actually do something creative as I've lost my drive (probably temporary, depression usually has the opposite affect on me and I write MORE when I'm depressed for some reason). I want to play with my daughter without constantly worrying about if she'll eat something other than junk food (she's an extremely picky eater), or is she'll take a bath without a fight or if she'll actually drink something for a change (yes, we are in contact with doctors about all this, it's just an extremely slow process). I want to wake up and not be exhausted for a change, I want to not be in constant pain for no fucking reason (chronic fatigue...yay). I want to not spend my days unable to focus on anything, to not be constantly disassociating because my stupid brain can't cope with too much sensory input. I am exhausted, I'm grieving and I just want to be normal for a fucking change. Anyway, it's all a lot more complicated than what I've written and it's very unlikely this makes any sense at all. But I needed to write it down, to tell someone, somewhere just so I can stop obsessing over all these thoughts. Maybe now I can sleep.

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

I'm the previous anon who was talking about Indian Colonial history

I do follow you but I wanted to remain anonymous because I'm kinda shy 😭. You can call me Madhuri so that it's clear who I am

So I hadn't really put much thought into Shaan being a direct employee of the British monarchy until the other anon pointed it out and the more I think of it, the more weirded out I get because in a fictional novel, I feel that the author has the responsibility to make their content respectful to all groups of people and this move was kind of thoughtless.

Indians were treated like shit when the British governed our land. Basically, the British arrived as cloth traders and by creating this elaborate debt trap for rural weavers, they took over our economy and gained trade monopoly. They got some tax cessations from different kings and finally in the Battle of Plassey, they took over Bengal, a super super important place because it was in the plains, had a long coastline and was one of the most industrialised towns.

They started taxing people to hell and back with no regard for their well being. They told our kings they would provide them arms and forces to protect themselves against other rulers all while instigating whatever the opposite of peace is (I literally cannot think of a work for this, I'm so sorry)

Indians were forced to pay them, work for them without pay and make goods for them at extremely nominal amounts while the British got all the profit. We were kidnapped from our own lands and sent to plantations. There was this inland immigration act which did not allow workers to even exit tea gardens without written permission which was rarely given. They shut down our press and arrested our revolutionaries. Our people were forced to fight in the army. The first revolution actually started because the army was being forced to use bullets greased with pig fat and cow fat one of which was haram for muslims and the other was the product of an animal holy to the Hindus.

They decimated our country and the impact is still felt today.

I have watched a lot of movies about colonialism in India and one of the most chilling lines Ive heard was something along the lines of 'A bullet costs one pound by the time it reaches your gun Soldier. Are you really going to waste it on brown trash' this was followed by the soldiers beating a mother to death in front of her daughter and the entire village.

I'll recommend some movies to you. They are fiction but manage to capture the history so so well. You can find these on Netflix btw.

1) Lagaan- it's about taxation during a time of drought and a surreal way to escape it

2) RRR- honestly, I had watched some part of it but couldn't watch further because of how chilling it was and how hard it hit but it is considered to be amazing

3) Rang De Basanti- It's about college students shooting a film about freedom fighters and it alternates with the story of the revolutionaries and their parallels with the characters. These students are changed forever when one act makes them question the entire system and they become revolutionaries themselves. The ending was surprising and I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest

Hey, Madhuri! No worries, I totally understand wanting to stay anonymous, I’m literally the same way on here so I get it.

Thank you so much for this! Yeah, my history classes definitely didn’t go over enough about any of this, but I’ll be reading more about everything this week, because it’s important and I want to learn more. It’s clear there is an entire history between Britain and India that I only know the very tip of, so thank you again for writing this all out. I’m sure a lot of people probably don’t know much about this (unfortunately, since our textbooks tend to… you know… veer on the side of the oppressors), so this will all be incredibly educational to anyone reading it. Feel free to send more my way whenever you want! I love this!

I’ve heard awesome things about RRR, but didn’t know what it was about. I’m gonna watch it this weekend! And that last movie sounds really good too! Thanks for the recs!!!

As for Shaan… I honestly think Casey just wasn’t thinking. This isn’t in defense of them, an author should always think about what they’re doing and how it could show up on page or screen, but I truthfully think they just wanted to fill that role with some sort of minority and picked Indian because of the large UK Indian population. I’d bet all of the money in my wallet ($20) that Casey doesn’t know any more than the vague basics of everything you’ve told me. I noticed that they described Nora, who’s Jewish, using some stereotypical Jewish traits too (I can write more on this if anyone wants, don’t want to hijack this post). It really was a guess-and-pick of races and ethnicities for them. I love how diverse the book is, but it’s sorta clear it was done for the spectacle, not for any real heartwarming reason. Casey knew it would probably sell better, since it would be talked about as an incredibly varied collection of characters, I don’t think they thought about more than that, or didn’t think it would matter because of the positives.

Do I think Casey meant any direct hurt with it? No.

Do I think that Casey’s lack of understanding or having any knowledge beyond their contained worldview causes harm indirectly? Yes.

[findroleplay]

👾Hello! Im here looking for a specific plot!

(Preferable I'd play muse A, age doesnt really matter but if muse B can be a year or two younger or older, even better.)

Lakeside is a town near Winchester, you could say it's 'lost in time'. You often see a mix of fashion from the 80s all the way to the 2020s with no real set style. Along with this the phones and everything that comes with technological advances just doesn't seem normal. You've got phones that don't even look like anything we know of and TVs the size of a house. It's a somewhat weird world, but oddly enough it's still..somewhat grounded? People go to school, people work, people just live their lives in this odd town.

In this town resides muse A. Muse A to say the least is far from a saint, they're a senior in high-school (or starting college) but they're well known for the simple fact they had a gang of friends. Seems simple enough, like they just were having fun, but as time went on the town started disliking them and wanting to eject them from the town due to their antics, and how they know the gang progressively got worse. Muse A has a good heart, but have stolen money and done things to earn it so he could provide for his sister while keeping the inheritance from their parents to pay for her college and a bit for his own. Context aside, muse A never really felt love so much as lust. Cue muse B, an ex of his that got the closest to achieving that. A stereotypical rich girl with a brother Muse A tended to lock horns with; she was frankly manipulative. It worked simple, kiss the ground I walk on and I provide for you. She thought money was enough, that was her 'love'. She had been infatuated with muse A but frankly it just didn't work out because of her manipulative behavior and how she treated others as inferior. You'd think the break-up would be a wake up call, but instead she believed he'd change his mind at any point and take her back. Issue is? Her persistence while annoying, is working. Borderline obsessive, but Muse A doesn't want to go back to someone who he believes never really even loved him, and he doesn't want to use someone for their money.

What I look for in the story(ignore this if you'd like), is pretty much a feeling of not wanting to go back to something he knows isn't really good for him while dealing with anger issues that turn his gang activities from innocent(like the T-birds from grease) to more criminal-like while using the reasoning of his sister for it; and Muse B wanting to return him to where she believes he belongs. Whether she changes or not is entirely up to you. Maybe she *didn't* love him and just liked having someone attractive around to worship her, or maybe she did love him and just can't help be manipulative and believe money *is* a love language that Muse A would like. The rp doesn't have a set direction it'll go in and just depends on your interpretation and my own when it comes down to when we write.

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy unless it's double ups.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams! Pause..?

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

-

[findyourrp]

👾Hello! Im here looking for a specific plot!

(Preferable I'd play muse A, age doesnt really matter but if muse B can be a year or two younger or older, even better.)

Lakeside is a town near Winchester, you could say it's 'lost in time'. You often see a mix of fashion from the 80s all the way to the 2020s with no real set style. Along with this the phones and everything that comes with technological advances just doesn't seem normal. You've got phones that don't even look like anything we know of and TVs the size of a house. It's a somewhat weird world, but oddly enough it's still..somewhat grounded? People go to school, people work, people just live their lives in this odd town.

In this town resides muse A. Muse A to say the least is far from a saint, they're a senior in high-school (or starting college) but they're well known for the simple fact they had a gang of friends. Seems simple enough, like they just were having fun, but as time went on the town started disliking them and wanting to eject them from the town due to their antics, and how they know the gang progressively got worse. Muse A has a good heart, but have stolen money and done things to earn it so he could provide for his sister while keeping the inheritance from their parents to pay for her college and a bit for his own. Context aside, muse A never really felt love so much as lust. Cue muse B, an ex of his that got the closest to achieving that. A stereotypical rich girl with a brother Muse A tended to lock horns with; she was frankly manipulative. It worked simple, kiss the ground I walk on and I provide for you. She thought money was enough, that was her 'love'. She had been infatuated with muse A but frankly it just didn't work out because of her manipulative behavior and how she treated others as inferior. You'd think the break-up would be a wake up call, but instead she believed he'd change his mind at any point and take her back. Issue is? Her persistence while annoying, is working. Borderline obsessive, but Muse A doesn't want to go back to someone who he believes never really even loved him, and he doesn't want to use someone for their money.

What I look for in the story(ignore this if you'd like), is pretty much a feeling of not wanting to go back to something he knows isn't really good for him while dealing with anger issues that turn his gang activities from innocent(like the T-birds from grease) to more criminal-like while using the reasoning of his sister for it; and Muse B wanting to return him to where she believes he belongs. Whether she changes or not is entirely up to you. Maybe she *didn't* love him and just liked having someone attractive around to worship her, or maybe she did love him and just can't help be manipulative and believe money *is* a love language that Muse A would like. The rp doesn't have a set direction it'll go in and just depends on your interpretation and my own when it comes down to when we write.

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy unless it's double ups.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams! Pause..?

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

.

[briellesumbrella]

I’ve honestly hit my peak. I can’t think anymore. My mental state has deteriorated to such a primal emotional state. My heart has gotten so hollow. I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve felt fear. Real mortifying death gripping fear. I try to socialize in an attempt to still find mutual respectful friends but I don’t think I’m equipped for that. The thought of friends has been warped in my mind and I can only think of them as people that exchange one thing for another. So I’ve stopped wanting friends. I only ever treat people fairly and reciprocate however they treat me with the same level of treatment. Someone’s nice to me I’m nice back, someone’s mean to me I’m mean back. It’s just easier. Essentially I’ve turned myself into a mirror really. Lacking any real human traits so as to make interactions as simple and streamlined as possible. There’s people that mean well or that don’t show any ill will towards me when they try and get to know me but my trust is so far gone I can’t let them get too close to me. I know more then anything that people tend to do things for themselves. As they should. It’s what they’ve been taught. I don’t claim to be any better then said people. I just function differently. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything but there is definitely something wrong with me. I have a trauma, I know that. The closest answer I could find is I have a form of cPTSD or maybe autism. Which would make sense as I’m always reacting in ways that aren’t normal. I have triggers that will break my persona and I won’t be able to function for hours, days, sometimes weeks. Writing everything I think seems to help and at least it’s out there when I type it out. I’m not a danger to anyone but myself though. I keep seeing the different type of people that start shooting up schools and public places and I can’t fathom what can drive someone to rage of that caliber. I’ve never touched a gun so I don’t see myself going down that path but then again nothing is impossible so I wouldn’t rule out the possibility, at least if I was being diagnosed by a psychiatrist or analyst. The thing is I never want to hurt people no matter how much they hurt me. I’ve gotten close to getting into fights, but my crying as I start the fight has made others back down or get weirded out. Every time as a kid when I’d get mad enough to want to beat up the kids that were bullying me I’d cry as I shouted for them to stop because I didn’t want to hurt them. I was crying for them. I was scared of what I would do if I just went wild so I’d hold myself back and gave them the chance to back off. Whenever that would happen I would be know as the weird kid that cry’s when he fights. It only happened twice. But it was at different schools. I moved around a lot as a kid and never established any long lasting friendships. Which may be part of why I have trouble making friends. Some of the kids that were friends with me would just leave though. Like they’re family moved so obviously they couldn’t stay and be friends with me. We had no cellphones as kids or Facebook or instagram so there really wasn’t a way to stay friends with people long distance if you were a kid in those days. Not like today. There’s also my need to be friends with people smart enough to hold a conversation with but not so smart that they’re elitists that try to hold everything over my head as if I couldn’t have the capacity to learn what they know. It’s a lonely existence filtering those who I let get near me. It’s exhausting. There that little thought at the back of my head these days. That what if I wasn’t so conscious and aware of my own thoughts? Would I have more friends and therefore be happier if was less of an intellectual? Why does it hurt to think sometimes? To exist?

Will I ever be happy?