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#first time ive felt so comfortable in my body like this
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Hi!!! I love your Amelia and Emily fics so much, I’ve basically binged them 😂 I was wondering if I could request an Amelia x reader fic where maybe reader is like 6 months pregnant with her and Amelia’s first child and has a bad history with her dad and her dad comes into the hospital with his new wife and her kid and it just stirs bad feelings for reader and Amelia comforts her? Maybe autistic reader? Thank you so much!
Thank you so much! 💕 I'm so, so glad you enjoy them! Also, thanks especially for an autistic!reader request, they're some of my favorites to write! Hope you enjoy! – illdowhatiwantthanks
The R Word
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Amelia Shepherd x fem!autistic!reader Warnings: autism struggles, ableism, use of ableist slurs, overstimulation (the autism kind, not the sex kind), explicit language, pregnancy times (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word Count: 2.4k
Summary: It's a typical day working with a child in the ER when your estranged father shows up and makes you feel just as small and stupid and alien as he did when you were growing up. Amelia is there to comfort you and remind you of who you really are.
“No, Mommy!” the little girl wailed as she writhed on the hospital bed. “I want to go home!”
Her mom looked at you apologetically as she tried to soothe her child. You needed to get her vitals. Based on the mom’s description, you also probably needed to get IV fluids and an antiemetic in her. But you knew that wasn’t going to happen while the kid felt scared and overwhelmed. This wasn’t your first rodeo with kids in the ER. In fact, the other ER nurses often called you over when kids were difficult to work with. They called you the “bad kid whisperer.”
You knew better. They weren’t bad kids. They were usually just scared. There was a lot to be scared of at a hospital. And you were good with them because you understood better than most what it was like for your body and brain to feel so overwhelmed that you could no longer regulate your emotions. Being autistic was hard sometimes, it made you stand out, but this was a place where it made you stand out in a good way.
You lifted your hands to show the little girl that you were setting down all your medical instruments.
“It’s okay,” you said quietly, pulling the curtain closed around the bed. Sometimes making the space smaller helped. You bent down to her height, careful to keep your distance and not to touch her.
“I’m Y/N,” you said. “What’s your name?”
The girl didn’t answer, shaking as she sobbed.
You nodded. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk right now. Do you feel like you can’t breathe or anything?”
The girl shook her head.
“Good. Then all this other stuff can wait, okay? I’m not gonna touch you. No needles, no thermometer, no heartbeat or anything until you feel a little calmer. We can wait.”
She seemed to calm down a bit when she realized you weren’t going to make her do anything, her sobs subsiding to the occasionally aggressive sniffle.
“Here,” you offered, pulling a tiny tech deck skateboard out of the pocket of your scrubs. “Sometimes when I’m scared or nervous, having something to do with my hands makes me feel better.” You rolled the skateboard toward her, and she started running it across the rails of the hospital bed, her breathing starting to calm.
“Better?” you asked.
She nodded.
You started taking her vitals and continued the conversation. “You think you can tell me your name now?”
“Maddy,” she whispered.
You smiled even as you read her temperature: 103.4. Pretty high. She was almost certainly dehydrated. “That’s a really cool name. Now, do you know why your mom brought you here?”
“I threw up,” she told you, lip quivering.
“Oh, man,” you commiserated. “That’s the worst. I hate throwing up.”
Maddy nodded.
“Did you throw up just one time or a lot of times?”
“A lot.”
You exchanged glances with the mom to make sure this information was accurate.
“She can’t keep anything down,” the mom worried, biting her nails.
“Okay. Well, that’s okay. We’re gonna help you feel better. First, we’re gonna get some fluids in you. Do you know what that means?”
She shook her head as you gathered the supplies and pulled on gloves.
“It means your tummy is so sick that when you drink water, it all just comes right back out. And that’s not good because your body needs water. Your heart and your lungs and all the things that make you healthy and strong, they need water. So since you can’t swallow it, we’re gonna put a little tube in your arm and send water through the tube. That way your body gets the water it needs. And we’ll send medicine and electrolytes and all kinds of other good stuff to fight the sickness, too. It’s like we’re sneaking weapons past the sick.”
This explanation seemed to cheer her up a bit. “Like a secret mission?” she asked.
You nodded conspiratorially. “Exactly like a secret mission. But to get all that good stuff in there, we’re gonna have to put a needle in your arm. Just for a second! It makes the path for the supplies to go in.”
Maddy seemed to think deeply about this, then nodded. You had her play with the skateboard while you placed the IV line, ensuring that she was comfortably positioned for a good hour or so of fluid intake.
“Thank you,” her mom mouthed to you, and you gave her a quick thumbs up before adding a few reminders to your chart–what to check in the next hour, etc.
Maddy, now calmer, took a good look at you for the first time, from your glasses to your fingers that twitched by your ears, to your stomach that protruded out past your waistline–you were six months pregnant.
“Why are you so fat?” Maddy blurted out.
“Madeline Grace!” her mom hissed.
“It’s okay,” you laughed. “My tummy looks like this because there’s a baby in there. But some tummies are just bigger than others, too, and that’s okay. All tummies are good tummies.”
“Where’s the daddy?” she asked, reaching out to brush her hand over your stomach.
“No daddy,” you explained. “This baby has two mommies. His other mommy works upstairs. On brains.”
“Brains!?” she squealed.
You nodded. “Yeah. She’s pretty cool.”
Just then, the relative calm of a midday ER was interrupted by a loud, brash voice, bursting through the doors, yelling at the nurses at the station.
“Where the fuck is my daughter!? Middle of the fucking work day. Unbelievable. Am I going too fast for you? Read my lips, sweetheart. Madeline. Y/L/N.”
You froze, any icy stream of panic running from the back of your neck all the way down to your heels. You’d know that voice anywhere. It was an angry voice, a coach’s voice, the voice that had yelled at you to “stay the fuck in the bleachers” when all you wanted was to sit in the car and breathe. The same voice that growled at you to stop “doing that shit with your hands, you look like a r*tard.” The same voice that told you over and over that you weren’t “stupid enough to be on the short bus,” but you were “too stupid to function in real life.”
You felt your brain start swirling, felt panic building in your chest. You knew he’d gotten remarried, of course you knew. But you didn’t talk to him, hadn’t talked to him in nearly a decade. You knew they’d had a kid, but you didn’t know it was this kid.
All the ER noises, the beeps of the machines, the buzzing of the overhead lights–were they getting brighter?–the clang of instruments being set down, wails, conversations, and above it all your dad’s voice. Your dad’s voice. It was too much. It was all way, way too much.
You felt your hands start to shake at your sides, your body swinging back and forth, and you had to stop. You had to stop. Your dad would kill you.
He threw back the curtain, and his jaw dropped when he saw you.
“You!?” he spat, looking down. “Are you pregnant!?”
Maddy seemed oblivious to the tension. “Daddy!” she called. “Her name is Y/N and she gave me this little skateboard and the water is fighting the sickness through my tubes and she has a baby in her tummy and the baby’s other mommy fixes brains.”
You tried so hard not to stim, but it was not working. 
“Don’t tell me you’re a nurse?! God, it’s a miracle you didn’t fucking stab her. You shouldn’t be holding any needles with those flappy arms. Probably shouldn’t be holding any babies either.” He shot out his hand and grabbed Teddy’s arm, which was wild to you. The audacity of the man to assume he had the authority to bother the trauma surgeon. “Yeah, honey, we need a different nurse over here. This one’s a r*tard.”
Teddy looked flabbergasted and deeply offended, but also concerned, as you clenched your teeth, hugging yourself, twisting your body back and forth. “It’s doctor, sir, and that word is not welcome at Grey-Sloan. Y/N is a perfectly capable medical professional. In fact, she’s one of our best, especially with kids.”
“I don’t know if you know this, but I feel like it’s my responsibility to tell you,” your dad whispered loudly to Teddy. “She’s got autism. She shouldn’t be handling tools or people or anything.”
Teddy pressed her lips together in frustration. “As I said, sir,” she repeated more forcefully. “Y/N is a perfectly capable medical professional, and we’re lucky to have her. But I’ll get another nurse over here for you. Y/N?”
Teddy beckoned you over, careful not to touch you, and led you to a quieter corner of the room.
“Who the fuck is that guy?!” she asked.
“M-my dad,” you stuttered. Everything in the room–sounds, lights, smells, all of it–seemed to be crashing over you again and again. As if you’d been knocked over by a wave and couldn’t get back up again because they just kept coming.
“You want to hang out in one of the on-call rooms for a bit?” Teddy suggested.
You nodded.
“Should I page Amelia?”
You shook your head. “She’s in surgery.”
Teddy pulled out her tablet to look. “I mean, we could just check.”
“Don’t bother her,” you repeated. “She’s got work to do. I’ll be okay.”
You made your way to the elevator and up to an on-call room, breathing heavily when you shut the door against the rest of the hospital. You turned off the lights, curling into a corner of the bottom bunk and pulling your knees up to your chest–or as close to your chest as they could get with your baby bump in the way.
You rocked yourself back and forth, thoughts spiraling. The movement and the dark usually calmed you down, but you were having a hard time regulating today, and nothing seemed to be working. Your breath just got faster and faster. And the fact that you couldn’t get yourself out of your spiral only made you spiral more.
You knew you were a good nurse. You knew that. You knew because you’d done it. But you hadn’t ever been a mom before. What if he was right? What if the baby made you overstimulated and you yelled or lashed out? What if the baby went to school and you went to parent nights and he was embarrassed of you, of how you couldn’t make eye contact and didn’t start conversations right and didn’t get the jokes. What if being autistic made you a bad mom?
You had tears streaming down your face by the time you heard a light knock on the door. It creaked open and Amelia’s head popped in. When she saw it was you, she quickly let herself in and locked the door.
“Oh, babe,” she said, watching your body rock back and forth in huge, aggressive sweeps. “A bad one, huh?”
“Go away, Amelia,” you hiccuped.
“Hey,” she said, jokingly. Then when she got closer and saw the tear tracks on your face, she said it again, quieter, sitting next to you on the bed. “Hey.”
When you didn’t say anything, Amelia shrugged. “Teddy said your… dad was here?”
You nodded.
She let out a deep breath, running a hand through her hair. “Honey, will you let me hold you? Please?”
You nodded.
“Alright,” she said, waiting for your body to line up with hers as you rocked, then quickly grabbing you up in her arms, like she was catching something midair. “Gotcha.” She rocked with you.
“What did he say?” she asked, her breath warm on the top of your head.
“That I shouldn’t hold medical tools or babies because I’m a fucking re– I don’t want to say it. I hate that word.”
You felt Amelia’s arms tighten around you, and her breath came out in huffs. She was very angry. “As you should,” she told you. “It’s a nasty word. And it’s a word that doesn’t describe you at all, you know that.”
“I don’t know, Amy,” you whispered into her chest. “What if he doesn’t like me?”
“Babe, I think that ship has sailed,” Amelia said, running her fingers through your hair.
“Not my dad,” you explained. “The baby.”
Amelia was quiet for a moment, then you felt her lips press against the top of your head.
“Oh, honey,” she said, her voice soft. “Of course he’ll like you. He’ll love you. You're his mom.”
“But what if I’m bad at it? What if autism makes me bad at it?”
“Y/N,” Amelia said, gently grabbing your face and positioning it so that you had to look in her general direction, if not in her eyes. “Look how good you are with the kids in the ER. You’re gonna be an incredible mom.”
“I’m just scared,” you admitted.
“I’m a little scared, too,” Amelia told you. “But you know what? I think we’re gonna be okay. Me and you together? I mean, surely, combined, we can be at least one whole good mom, right?”
You giggled.
Amelia grinned at you. “There she is.”
You were quiet for a moment, playing with Amelia’s finger, with the edges of her scrubs.
“You know what you are?” Amelia asked after a bit, kissing your forehead. “You are smart and kind and empathetic. You’re funny and brave and you work hard. You’re my favorite person in the whole world.”
You looked away.
“Hey,” she said, pulling your face back toward her again. “I don’t like people talking about my wife like that. Even you.”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around her waist and pressing your face to her chest.
“Are you going back down there?” Amelia asked.
You shrugged.
“Want me to check if your dad’s still here?”
“Would you?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said, standing and placing one more kiss on your cheek. “In fact, I’d really like to talk to him.”
“Don’t do anything that’ll get you fired, Amy,” you called after her.
She looked back at you and winked as she walked through the door. “Can’t make any promises.”
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skellyflowers · 1 day
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Longing: To be Claimed
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It is time. Sleep is here.
Our beloved V has been asleep for two days straight. It is now the third night. The night she will be fully claimed by Sleep. We have been taking shifts to keep her company in the dream. But now we are all here standing outside of the gate to Eden.
“You're coming too right?” She asked. I can hear the hesitation in her voice.
“We cannot enter Eden while you are being claimed.” I answered. “We will be waiting for you here.”
She turns to me after I answer. I see the fear in her eyes. I have felt the same fear that follows Sleep.
“You promise?” V sounds so small, it’s very unlike her.
“Only Sleep Herself could stop us.” I declare. The other hum in agreement. The reassurance puffs V up even just a little bit.
Eden’s grand gates slowly creak open. The garden’s otherworldly light pours out. V turns to face the gate.
“Will it hurt?” she asks.
“Yes.” I answer honestly. “But you won’t be alone.”
She reaches behind herself for me. I offer my hand and she grips it tight. I lean over to whisper in her ear.
“Be brave, Love. We will be here.”
With the last bit of encouragement V walks up to the gate. She hesitates one last time before entering Eden. I am proud that she didn’t turn back. When she fully enters Eden the gate slams shut.��
I stay with the others as we wait for The Claiming to really begin. Then suddenly the sky turns black and fills with stars. The earth shakes and a blinding light comes out of Eden. It burns to look at but I can’t take my eyes away.
The light launches into the air. It hovers for a bit and then dims. Then the light swallows all of us. I am forced to shield my eyes.When I open them again all four of us are inside Eden. II is the first to start to look for V. IV is one who finds her resting under a tree next to a creek. He pulls her upper body into his lap when he finds her.
“MY NEW VESSEL HAS BEEN CHOSEN. NOW RETURN TO THE WAKING WORLD!” Sleep declares.
Eden falls silent, nothing but the sound of birds. We look around at each other. Despite the ordeal V looks peaceful. However we cannot linger here too long. Our fifth must awake soon.
“I’ll go first.” II volunteers. 
After he exits out of the gates III leaves next. IV and I hesitate for a little longer. 
“Do you think she will be ok when she wakes up?” IV askes, breaking and silence.
“I’m not sure. We can only know when it happens.”
We stand to leave. IV carrying V out of the gate to the waking world. Opening my eyes I see we are still in the bed in the manor. II and III are alert and waiting for the next move. IV awakes and looks over my shoulder as V starts to twitch. Her eyes fly open and she takes a deep gasping breath. It was like she was holding her breath.
Her eyes darted around the room wildly. It was like she didn’t know where she was. I want to console her but I don’t want to overwhelm her. Being claimed by Sleep is an exhausting task. Waking up is the hardest part. I don’t move until I feel her hand grab me. Her breathing slowed down a little, a good sign.
“You’re here.” she said quietly.
“I promised we would be.” I respond.
“Why is it so fucking hot in here?” she said, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
I look and see a puddle of sweat under V. I put my hand on her forehead and she is burning up. The same happened to II after he was claimed. II and I make eye contact and nod in unison.
“III go fill up the bath, cold water.” II instructs.
However, the moment III moves off the bed V starts to scream.
“NO! NO! NO! DON’T LEAVE! DON’T LEAVE!” she screeches.
“It’s ok he’ll be right back, Love.” II tries to comfort her to no success.
“Please don’t leave me.” she says in tears. Hand reaching out for III.
I look over to III. He is frozen unsure of who he should be listening to. On one hand II gave him clear instructions. On the other hand V is clearly in need. I don’t blame him for his inaction. I’m not sure what I would do in his position.
“Let's just move her now.” IV says. II pulls her into a bridal carry.
Now that we are all moving to the bathroom III started to fill the bathtub. II sits with V on the tiled floor while we wait. She is now moving around more. Mostly looking around to be sure we are all still together. When the tub is half full III turns off the water.
“Should she be in there by herself?” III asked.
“I don’t think she wants that right now.” II answers.
III immediately begins to take off his clothes.  He then steps in the tub and holds his arms out for V. II passes her over and I turn the water back on to be sure they will both be submerged. V lets out a sigh at the cold water. IV taps on my shoulder and I see the washcloth in his hand.
I wet the cloth and dab V’s forehead. Now that we have a moment of peace I study V. The whites of her eyes have turned pitch black and her iris’ are glowing gold. Her lips are black and I see that her teeth are sharper than before. Around her neck is Sleep’s prayer. It looks like it was burned into her skin. That’s probably why she asked why it was so hot.
When I put the cloth on her neck she flinches before relaxing back against III. When her eyes close, IV taps my shoulder again. When I look at him he points at the bedroom. I guess he is asking about the bed sheets.
“Go ahead IV. Just try to be quiet.” I say telepathically.
V lets out a whine when IV gets close to the door.
“Stop that V.” II scolds. “He will be right back. Besides, when you feel better you will complain that we let you lay in a sweat covered bed.”
III quietly laughs. We all know he is right about V. The whining stops and is replaced with a pout. 
“How do you still have the energy to be a brat right now?” II asked. Then I see a small smirk grow on her face.
I take the cloth off her neck to rewet it and place it over her eyes. She lets out another quiet short whine. III takes over putting the cold water on her neck. I take it off her eyes when IV returns.
“What happens now?” V asks. Her voice sounded tired and raspy.
“Well, if you stay awake, the first thing we are going to do is get your fever down.” I start. “Then get you something to eat and put you back to bed. After that we will start your training, we need to know what gifts Sleep gave you. Then Worship.”
“Ok.” She yawns.
“You ok in there III?” II asks.
“Nothing to worry about.” He answers.
I don’t know how it takes for V’s temperature to stabilize but when it does she is nearly asleep. We are able to get her out of the tub, dried off and redressed. IV carries her back to bed and she is back to sleep. II and IV get into bed with her. III stands next to me as we observe them.
“You ok Big Man?” III asks.
“I have been through this three other times but it doesn't get easier.” I confess.
III wraps me in a tight hug. I let out a sigh. I feel exhausted and slump in his arms. III pats my back before pulling away and cupping my face.
“Come on time for bed Ves. We have done all we can. You have done all you can.”
He's right. I let III lead me to the bed. II graciously moves so I can lay next to V. I let the soft sound of my lovers breath put me to rest.
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joy-drops · 1 year
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i suppose i should stop being so disappointed when my mom shows little to no emotional investment in my life
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lunarharp · 4 months
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
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they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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silverislander · 2 months
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finally got up the courage to trying binding w the kt tape i got months ago and oh my god. this is a game changer
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d1ner · 2 months
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fwb: nanami kento (18+)
nanami kento doesn't know how to be just "friend's with benefits".
tags: (fem aligned user) (uses y/n) (jealousy) (not proofread also sorry this is my first real smut ive posted on tumblr) (uses the L word (gasp!))
(art for header found on pinterest)
•—————————————————————————•
fwb!nanami didn't know how to approach you, his friend and colleague, about being friend's with benefits. he wasn' the kind of man to just have sex with someone. he didn't fuck- he made love. it wasn't until gojo dug his nose in, asking you if you'd ever want a fwb within earshot of nanami- you saying you wouldn't be opposed- that made him even think to ask.
fwb!nanami who brought a bouquet of roses to your apartment the first time he came over to "netflix and chill," stumbling over his words and acting like an utter fool in front of you. it was cute, and you eased him into the situation as naturally and slowly as your body would allow. his arm was awkwardly placed on your shoulder as you nuzzled up against him on the couch, and he seemed all too focused on the movie that was playing.
"kento, do you just wanna watch the movie and try again another day?" your soft voice cooed, and it made him fall apart, the sweat on the back of his neck rolling down his back. oh god, you were so pretty. he knew he wasn't doing anything right, and yet you still looked up at him so affectionately. this isn't what friends with benefits act like, was it?
"n-no, i'm just.. i've never done anything like this before." he swallowed whatever moisture had stayed in his dry mouth, forcing himself to meet your eyes, only to meet an understanding gaze that tore down all of his walls.
"it's okay, we can go slow."
fwb!nanami who's so gentle with you during your first time together. even though you wanted your brains fucked out, his gentle touch and praise that spilled from his lips as you sunk onto his length was equally satisfying.
"you're so warm n tight, y/n.. i can't, 's too much. you feel so good," nanami groaned, his hands kneading your hips as your lips kissed along his neck, licking soothing stripes along his sensitive skin to ease him through it.
he wasn't a virgin, but still.. this. this was new. fucking someone just to fuck them. to fuck you, his gorgeous friend who had always behaved so normally towards him. would things stay normal between you two? he was already overthinking. how did friends with benefits just stay friends when all he could think about was how pretty your face twisted in pleasure, how soft your skin felt-
"kento," the sound of your sighed moan snapped him into reality, and he whimpered in his low, gentle voice, his head falling back against the couch as you rolled your hips against him. that's right- all he needed to think about right now was how good you felt milking his cock, not how your friendship was gonna turn out tomorrow.
"oh, fuck, y/n."
fwb!nanami who didn't wanna leave you that night when you fell asleep in his arms, your head resting on his chest. carefully, he carried you to bed, tucking you in while stroking his fingers through your hair.
"stay," your sleepy, mumbly voice shot an arrow through his chest just as he was trying to quietly leave your bedroom.
yes, of course he'd stay. you'd taken such good care of him, making sure he was comfortable while taking every last drop of cum he had to offer. he didn't realize how pent up he was until he unloaded into you the first time. but once your lips wrapped around him maybe an hour later, he grew more needy, thrusting his dick down your throat as he gently massaged the nape of your neck.
hesitantly he snuggled into bed with you, your sleeping form molding perfectly against his, your face subconsciously nuzzling into his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him close. were friends with benefits supposed to be this intmate? should his heart be racing like this?
but as the events of the day weighed heavier on him, he couldn't bear it, trying to find a way to fall asleep. with your steady breaths and warmth as you cuddled him it wasn't hard to get drowsy, but his thoughts consumed him. maybe this was a mistake- him and his bleeding heart.
fwb!nanami who made you breakfast the next morning. and everytime after that. he always brought you an offering like roses or flowers when he'd come over, and treat you like a queen each morning, kissing along your body to wake you up, tasting you before you'd get a taste of his cooking.
it was cathartic for him. no strings attached, just pleasure. it took him a while to understand the point in it, perhaps less stress?
though his heart still raced everytime you sat with him at work or hung out with him- not calling it a date.
"ken, you shouldn't have. we're just grabbing coffee," you whined with your face flushed red. again, this princely man bought your coffee for you and pulled out your chair as you sat at the cafe.
"i wanted to," he would say everytime, shaking his head. and he said the same when he insisted on walking you home from work, fucking you when you got home from work, massaging your muscles from the stress of work, oh lord this man was head over heels-
fwb!nanami who didn't realize he had fallen in love with you until someone at the grocery store asked for your number.
how could someone walk up to you, standing so pretty next to the shopping cart both you and him were putting groceries in, and ask if you were single? as if nanami wasn't standing right there, pushing your shopping cart, guiding you out of the traffic of other shoppers with his hand on the small of your back?
"oh, thank you, but i'm not interested in dating right now." was your response, making nanami's neck tighten. what does that mean? what were you two doing there?
you weren't dating, no. the point is that you were friends with benefits. no strings attached. just fucking, just pleasing each other. this grocery trip was as friends, the breakfasts together were as friends, the sex was as friends-
"ken," again, your voice was like the smooth, untouchable hand pulling him out of a bush full of thorns and pulling him into your softness. "did we get garlic already?"
"mhm," was the only sound to escape his throat. to hell if you were dating or not- he needed you, perhaps even more than you needed him. or at least more than you realized you needed him.
fwb!nanami who pounded you hard into the mattress that night. he was a gentle lover for the most part, always checking in on you, whispering your praises, moaning into your ear as he finished in you.
not tonight. he needed to let out that pent out rage, towards the person who asked you out of course- not you.
"who's this pretty pussy belong to, hmm?" he chuckled as he gripped your hair tighter, pressing your face down into your pillow harder. His free hand was holding your hips with a bruising grip, keeping your ass up as he fucked you into another orgasm.
"k-ken, aagh," you mewled, your hands balling into fists as you held the sheets tighter. "'m yours kento, f-fuck.."
he smiled- it was dizzying, your voice being so broken and yet so his. "that's it beautiful. all mine."
by the time he was satisfied he was dripping sweat, his chest against your back as his breath came out in ragged pants.
of course, ever the gentleman, he slowly slid his cock out from you, watching with possessiveness and satisfaction as his cum dribbled down your folds, and then your bruised thighs. a part of him felt bad for being so rough, but then watching your legs tremble and your pussy pulse around nothing made him feel much less guilty.
"lemme take care of you, pretty," he murmured, helping you stand before carrying you to the bathroom. he was so sweet, sitting down on the bench in the shower, having you on his lap facing him as he washed the sweat and mess off your body with his large yet gentle hands.
you were drowsy from the mix of getting fucked stupid and the heat of the shower, and nanami's soapy hands kneading at your flesh was only making you feel more at ease. you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, arms weakly wrapping around him.
"love you, ken," you murmured into his neck, eyes fluttering to try and stay open.
nanami froze, feeling an intense rush of heat rise to his face from ear to ear. he was sure that he would be the one to say it first. with how he worshipped you, he was positive that the words would leave his tongue first.
but alas there you were, softly kissing his collarbone as you fought to stay awake. his heart swelled, more than his cock as it twitched. god, he could fuck you again just for saying that. but more than that he wanted so desperately to kiss you.
"i love you too, y/n," he hummed, tilting your head up to meet your content smile, pressing his lips to yours, lovingly, as if he had never kissed you before.
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sunnycanvas · 2 months
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Hello, I love how you write and the most beautiful narrative way. Could you do one of balwin taking care of his pregnant wife?
"Careful" Baldwin IV warned as he helped me get out of bed. My feet had swollen due to pregnancy. I felt embarassed by my own body. Baldwin IV noticing my discomfort kissed my forehead and said "Don't worry, you are beautiful". I couldn't help but doubt his words. "Does he even understand not only I have physical changes but emotional one as well". Ever since Baldwin IV learnt about my pregnancy he has treated me like piece of glass. He refused me to do any physical labour, even going as far as refusing me to leave bed. We had a huge fight about it. Baldwin IV kept on insisting that it's our first child. He was finally blessed by God to be father and Kingdom too will have heir. There was no way he is risking this opportunity. After lots of fight and request from my part Baldwin IV finally agreed however he insisted that I shift to his room and stay with him all time. In case I wish to leave the bed, I need to inform him so that he could escort me.
Baldwin IV carefully guided me to bathroom. As soon as we step in he closed the door and started striping me. I was staring myself in front of giant mirror. I was ashamed when I looked at my body again. I could see strech marks in my torso. My body had become fuller than before. I was in such a deep thought that I missed looked of adoration from my husband. It wasn't until he started started caressing my stomach that I finally noticed. Once I noticed and started staring back at him he smiled and kissed both of my cheeks. "You have made me happiest man alive" "Mon amour, never doubt my love for you" . "Come it's time to give you a bath". Baldwin IV ensured that I sat down for bath safely. He soon began filling my bath tub with warm water. Knowing how much I prefer it. I was still sad about everything. Could it be because of pregnancy? I couldn't help but feel anxious about future. Thoughts like "Will I be good mother?". "Will my husband still love me after my breast has become saggy and my hips and stomach covered in strech marks?"
"Mon amour, look at me" my husband called me in his commanding voice. Once I noticed him. Baldwin IV started stripping. I became shy and attempted to look elsewhere
"No, see it all before you look elsewhere" this time he was gentler while speaking to me. Hesitantly I looked back at him. I saw scars and disfigurement of his body. He soon took his pants off and now I couldn't help but lust after his body. Baldwin IV slowly walked where I was standing and said "See this is how I feel when I look at you" Baldwin IV laughed and said "No matter what, at least you will be better than leper". I was hurt knowing how insecure my husband is when it comes to his own body. Even though he is comfortable now he refuses to show his face preferring to hide it behind the veil instead
"Now you know how I feel" he replied and I grew quite. Baldwin IV went inside the bath tub with me and carefully hugged me from behind making me sit on his lap, squishing my boobs with his arms saying "Your pregnancy has made me want to have sex with you more"
" You look so beautiful while pregnant with my child but unfortunately we can't do that". "It hurts to see you looking at your self with disgust and being anxious about yourself". I couldn't help but cry a bit at his response. Baldwin IV wiped my tears and kissed my cheeks and pecked my lips. Once I was okay he took a mug filled with warm water and poured it over my head. I moaned in bliss and Baldwin IV started kissing my neck. He also washed my hair gently massaging my scalp and washed my body thoroughly with soap. Once we were done he helped me get dressed and took me to bed.
"Where are is all the food which I asked to be brought here" he shouted he angry. "Mon amour, please wait for a moment" he left the room angry. Soon bunch of maids came apologetic with food. I could here my husband mumbling angrily. He soon placed the food on the table and said "Now leave us come back after 30 minutes". Once they are gone Baldwin IV attempted to feed me with his hand. "We talked about this" I said in in anger. Baldwin IV replied back "I can't help it" "Fine feed yourself if you want"
"No, actually never mind". Baldwin IV gave me 'are you serious' look before continuing once we were done. He said "The maids will come back again to take care of you in my absence " "Make sure to-"
"Yes, I remember don't go far away and no physical labour" "Now leave"
"Not before my good luck kiss" he leaned and kissed me before leaving for work. Once I was left alone the maids came it with jeweller. "My, lady" he bowed before continuing "His majesty the king has insisted to choose whatever you like and he will pay" I couldn't help but smile at his pampering . I felt immense joy to have such a caring husband and felt ridiculous to doubt his feelings towards me
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tlouwhore · 4 months
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my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand, prt.2 — farmhouse e.w.
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notes: basically just smut, 18+, pet names (mama, baby,  babe, love), eating out, switch!ellie, soft, praise, strap on, slow/romantic sex, farmhouse!ellie who is so in love with you, very loosely inspired by no plan by hozier, ive never written smut so...also guys i need to lock in for finals but all i can think about it having sex with ellie
part 1
ellies tattooed hand snakes to find a spot on your hip, squeezing lightly against it prompting a soft hitch to your breath giving her ample opportunity to slip her tongue delicately into your warm mouth. finding comfort in your sweet breath as the kiss continued in a slow yet sloppy manner.
“els…i need you” your lips mere inches from hers, foreheads pressed against each other. breath tangled and exchanged in the hastily darkening air as she gazes at you with a loving hunger in her eyes, familiar and beautiful. 
“i know, babe” she whispered as if scared that if she spoke too loud you would disappear from her desperate grasp, her hand quickly seeking to tangle back into yours. her palms slightly sweaty as she now  gently drags you into the house. opting for the couch merely feet from the door as you lightly push her onto it and crawl into her lap quickly finding your lips to hers like magnets. as the kiss deepens and morphs you can feel her hasten quickly signaling she wants exactly what you do, it's your turn to chuckle at her quickened hunger as you feel her shift uncomfortably knowing her ever-growing wet spot threatens to seep through her boxers.  you tug lightly at the hem of her loose shirt, lightly brushing the pads of your fingers over her stomach, familiar and soft despite it all. she hesitantly breaks the kiss to drag her shirt off, her breasts exposed upon removal. every time you see them your gaze falls to them in admiration as if the mona lisa is engraved into her, taking her in as if she were to dissolve if you blinked. 
admiring the beauty of her soft and supple breasts, slowly grazing your tongue over her erect nipple cascading the effects of a euphonious whimper to escape her lips; the pure love felt to her in that moment unmatched, all your worries washed away as your priorities were on her breasts. her pleasure. her body. her freckled chest adored with scars. her. 
she whines your name desperately as she looks to find an anchor on your body. showing love to her exposed upper body, your lips laying claim to her sun damaged shoulders and collar. your hands slowly dragging across her exposed arms, over her scars and chemical burn, planting an individual kiss to each nail before attending to her lower body. 
loosely slipping onto a seated ground position, the rough carpet welcoming your planted knees as you spread her legs. instantly leaving her to fumble with her button to unclasp it as you offer aid in removing her remaining clothes until her body is displayed to you. 
"can i?" a soft smile tugs at your lips watching her admiration for your beauty grow
"if you take off something first" she laughs slightly when saying it but quickly flicks her full attention to your unclothed chest, your bra the only clinging item to your upper body. 
"better?" your smile illuminates your features, you've never looked more beautiful to her than when you smile. each moment that passes she loves you more than the world, looking to you as a beacon in the darkness.
"yes." as her words left her mouth in her sweetened tone soaked with love you began to trail your way up her thighs with your lips. leaving gentle whispers of love against her skin. her throat emanating your name in whispers like a prayer as you approach her leaking pussy, her clit puffy with arousal as she seeks friction from the air. 
gently licking against her clit as her desperate attempt to stifle a moan fails, her body releasing a guttural sound as you continue to work slowly and starved. her saccharine slick leaking onto your face, coating your soft tongue and blushed skin. you push her leg further up, her knees nearing her chest as you continue to deepen your devotion. she's needy and whining under your tender lips and tongue, continuing to make contact with her dripping cunt. a wet spot forming largely on the familiar couch cushion below, her eyes hooded in lust. desperately trying to keep her eyes locked to your gaze and delicate worship of the flattening of your tongue, engulfing her  clit with the texture drag it before laying tapered circles to it. her whimpers and moans fast and needy, head dazed in pleasure. slowly dragging your finger to meet her clenching hole, dipping a single finger gently in. she coils forward slightly before thrashing back to the couch, muttering swears like a mantra that is half lost by her groans. 
"fuck baby, just like that" is all she can push past her lips, mouth agape as her breath floods out in tangent with her quickening heart. her voice is diluted in pleasure and as messy as her cunt. slowly implementing an additional finger as she leaks out onto your hand causing another fit of swears, a new wave of pleasure seizing through her body. slowly dragging your fingers in and out in tandem with your heatened breath against her delicate clit, your tongue searching the terrain. her high quickly approaching as you feel her tense around you, her reactions more visceral as you help her come undone. a clench around your fingers as you continue gently through her high, her hands gripping at whatever she can grasp stars falling into her eyes. her gaze meeting your face as you remove your fingers from her needy cunt, admiring the soft moons gentle touch to you coated in her slick. taking your wet fingers and softly dipping them into your mouth, releasing the nectar into your mouth like a sacred sip of the lord's wine. 
"m'god mama...." her voice hushed in a sacred high "so fucking beautiful, let me take care of you please" eyes glinting in a desire of her deepest devotions. a smile painting your moist face as you reply 
"please," is the only hushed praise that can exit your lips as you stand, her hands seeking a perfect opportunity to drag your bottoms down your plush thighs. kicking them off as they hit your feet to aid her as she stands to join you, unclasping the metal hook on the back of your bra laying kisses down your exposed shoulders and neck. 
"stay here for me" her breath hits your warm skin
"anything" her nude form trailing out of the room momentarily, the moon and stars kissing her body. her return was swift, her silicone cock hanging from her shifting hips as you greedily walked to meet her.
"needy, aren't you?" she playfully smiles meeting your tender lips in a slow kiss, pushing your body back to the couch.
"lay down for me, baby" her lips still mere inches from yours, refusing to let her touch leave you for too long. you abide by her devout comment. knees slightly bent as you lay supine, dripping cunt displayed like a portrait in the lourve. she kneels against the unclothed altar of your hips, brushing the silicone tip against you looking to you for permission. 
"i'm ready, els" you reach your hand to find hers, quickly finding her hand laced in yours gently placing your enclosed hands to the couch cushion beside your head. her free hand delicately aligning with your needy body, slowly pushing in an inch as she searches your beautiful face for any sign of pain. you meet her with a squeeze to her hand and a nod, encouraging her to push her length deeper. she cautiously bottoms out in you as you meet her with a moan.
"oh my god..." is all that you can push out, her body still giving you time to adjust to her before lovingly fucking into your cunt, her eyes stuck to yours. she can't help but admire your flushed face, the pleasured details relaying across your ever so perfect form. 
"so good for me" soft praises leaving her lips as she continues to push into you, a religious message in the swift breath of her love. her free hand trailing your whole body, unable to soak you in enough before she meets her calloused fingers to your sensitive clit. the pads of her fingers laying claim to your needy bundle of nerves, slow circular swoops creating a perfect storm of pleasure. desperate whines escaping your lips, breathing hitching whenever you meet her deepened gaze. unable to peel her eyes from the warmth of your emanating face. her hands working as skillfully as her hips, pushing in deep and soft, hitting every part of your soft walls combining with the fervor of her diligent hands. 
"taking me so well, mama" painting landscapes on your puffed in pleasure clit, your body a beautiful art piece to her mere existence. eyes tracing the curvature of your body, groans escaping her lips as the base of the strap hits her clit. your sweet whispers of lust egging on her movement, unable to define the truth of her devouring love for you. you clench against her and release a rasping moan.
"m gonna cum, els" broken whispers interrupted by the sharp pleasure in your core.
"cum for me, baby. cum all over my dick for me" she rasps as her hips reaching deeper, your angelic form consuming her in entirety. your orgasm encroaching deeply, her eyes fixed to yours as they threaten to roll back in pleasure. 
"come on mama, you can do it" a creamy white accumulation of your slick coating the base of her silicone cock as she works you through your orgasm. 
"i've got you, just a little more" she coaxes as she slows, gently pulling herself from your tender cunt and unlacing your fingers from hers. a slight whimper erupting at the emptiness of contact. your eyes hooded with a tired love, a half smile sloppily draped on your lips admiration consuming your observations of her diligent hands pulling off the harness. 
"everything good, love?" 
"s'good" your smile growing slightly as you push yourself to sit up
"lets go get ourselves cleaned up, mama." she chuckles at your pleasured expression replacing her hand in yours, you instantly locking onto her. making your way to the bedroom, your body slightly leaned to hers. linked forms finding the dresser, shuffling through the cloth as she searches for a soft outfit for you. her hands fastidiously helping your silk body with the clothing, pulling the waistband up and adjusting your out of place hair. quickly trailing to the bathroom grabbing a wet cloth to wipe your face, a residue of her sweet slick lightly adorning your chin and lips. 
"els...what about the mess we made?"
"i'll worry about that, beautiful. I need to be with you now, the couch can wait." slowly slipping on a loose shirt and lightly pushing you by the small of your back to the bed, the soft duvet opening its arms for you. her body slowly following, pulling you flush to her as she leaves gentle kisses across your sleep-ridden face.
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broooooo · 7 months
Text
Dronehood
____________________
In today's world , the world has been slowly taken over by drones, whether it was by force, choice or persuasion, men are being converted, covered in a shiny black latex, a second skin, a well built muscled body, constantly aroused and hard. The mind does seem to remain keeping the hosts personality, but there's a big focus of obeying the master and the pleasure of dronehood
At first the world was scared, but as the drone army expanded, it slowly became normal, as if it's a rite of passage for teenage, adult men. It's even become a kind of entertainment to watch a conversion happen, could inspire others , or worn them.
Then there's me
I am Aaron, 21, regular build, living in an apartment, IV never been opposed to the drone movement. It's interesting to watch.
Deep down I wouldn't mind becoming a drone myself, it genuinely sounds fun.
Iv watched my childhood friend, Jason, become one before my eyes, he had wanted it for a while, and decided to get a slow conversion, he wanted to experience all the feelings grow and build.
The conversion itself is simple, intercourse with a drone, you may or may not include leather articles of clothing such as gloves or boots for extra pleasure. When it's done, the new drone is given a serial number name, but can keep their human name for interactions with others, plus they can take off their head mask for easy identification.
I myself don't leave my room a lot, i just watch from my TV or the window, hearing it through my walls too at times. Jason's my roommate, but he's never home, he's busy converting others or just hanging out with other drones.
Somewhat makes me jealous, before his conversion , we were the same, locked in your rooms not doing much, it honestly is a better life for him, and I'm happy,
It's possible to request a drone conversion, many have done it, Idk why I haven't done it yet, I guess I want to keep my peace for a little while, but ik at some point it will get too much to bear and then I will know I'm ready.
_________________
It was a normal day for me, watching my conversions , and contemplating life. When suddenly I hear the front door open, I rush out to see him, Jason standing in the door way, his heavy leather boots stomping on the floor as he closes the door. He looks at me, I haven't seen his have a week's.
JASON!?* ITS been so long, how.. have you been?*
He smiles and embraces me in a hug
*Iv been well, I missed you*
My face goes flush red, as I hug him back.
His latex skin is soft and shiny , the feel of hard muscles, it makes my heart race.
We pull away and I ask*
What are you doing here Jason?* Don't you have missions ?*
Jason laughs and says * well I do live here, plus even drones need rest.*
I answer back"
Well that makes sense , yeah*
Jason goes sit on the couch to watch TV.
*mind getting me a sparkling lemon water Aaron?.
Oh? Ok sure , I'll make us both one *
I go the kitchen, fill two cups with soda and prepare to cut lemons, during all this my mind races with thoughts, the sudden appearance of Jason and the feeling of his skin, it felt great. I feel hot, almost dreaming of it
As I'm cutting lemons the knife slips and cuts my hand, breaking me out of my dream like state
GAH*
Jason turns and runs up to me concerned
Are you ok?*
I'm fine just cut my self.
I go to clean up the blood and find a bandage, but problem, we where out of bandages
*darn we're out of bandaids.
Well I have a suggestion*
I turn around to see Jason's bear hand outstretched holding a latex glove.
You took it off? Isn't that yours?
Don't worry, I get a new one, my body can create it naturally.
I look at the glove as I hold it, it's soft,
The glove has a healing effect to it, it protects us drones from major injuries.
Huh, convenient , as I smile* thanks
I put the glove over my disinfected hand, I move my fingers about feeling it, it was soft, silky and comfortable.
So this is how it feels?* I say
Yeah, it's quite the sensation isn't it?,
Very much so, no wonder many ppl become drones.
Jason helps me finish the drinks and we go sit on the couch together.
Have you thought about dronehood much Aaron?
I turn to him and choke a little ,
Have I thought about it? It's ALL I can think about xd* I say with laughter, I observe it happen from my room, since your never hear.
And before you ask, no, I don't think I'm ready yet.
Jason looks into this drink and back up to me, he leans a hand over to touch my shoulder,
He smiles and says, * when you're ready then, no force, I want you to enjoy it as much as possible.
I peek up, *I KNEW IT, you planned this, laughing.
You were always a trickster you, we both laugh
Well Aaron , I. Do hope you enjoy that glove, it will help you decide, I'm sure of it.
I turn to look out the window and smiles
*thanks, i-, will definitely have an answer soon I'm sure.
___________
Afterwards we hang out the rest of day, it was a fun reunion, full of talk and catching up untill sun down
We both go to bed , crashing instantly as I'd been so tired after today.
The next day Jason and I bid farewell as he leaves for a mission.
I'm left alone and go to my room , sitting on my bedroom couch
_____
Hm, planed or not, I'm happy I have this glove. I turn on the TV to watch some more conversions
I feel hot and steamy imagining it, before I know it I'm rubbing my bulge with the gloved hand , my dick getting erect from what pleasure I can muster,
And idea popped into my head, I head over to Jason's room, and my mind was validated when I saw them, an extra pair of leather boots,
*planned this too Jason? Well idc, thanks*
We happen to be the same size, even so is force my feet into them, the boots go up to my kne, tall and shiny, sliding my feet in, my heart and mind are racing , my dick is rock hard , the sensations are over powering, I lace them up tight, whist I remove my clothing.
I stand up to look to the mirror, naked with only a latex glove and leather boots on, the weight of the boots and the tightness, protecting me, I go to my bed,I start to edge off slowly, aroused to high heavens and enjoying it all. Whilst the sounds of conversions from the TV hum in the background.
I never realized it but the dream like state I was in of edging and leaking lasted 3 days, I was covered in pre, drooling and gooing out, the latex glove and boots has started to spread up my legs and arm, then came Jason, he stood in my bedroom doorway, smiling, he comes over and jumps on top of me, squeezing my nipples hard
I moan hard and leak over me
*ready Aaron?*
Laughing through the intense pleasure ,
*hehe yeah. Convert me friend* I'm ready*
Jason's glowing purple eyes look into mine,
___________
Jason's hard latex dick at the ready, and with a passionate kiss it commences, what felt like a. Eternity, lasted a week of slow intense sex and conversion. As I expected it all
By the end of it, we and the bed were wet in pre, drool and juices, through the days, the latex nanites from Jason's dick slowly transformed my body, spreading the latex all over whist giving my muscle to fit, the climax of the conversion was then.
Jason fucking my tight ass, we both prepared for it , cum
It was a screech of intense pleasure, black nantite filled cum sprayed in ropes out our dicks, lasting 69 minutes of constant cumming, fucking and kissing, and the cum pool around us and soak back up into our bodies, , strengthening the conversion.
When it was all over , we lay there together tired and in love
My eyes start to glow to an intense blue. My mind was reshaped and ready,
Looking to Jason's eyes I say.
* I am ready to obey , ready to spread , ready to cum alongside you *
Jason smiles and kisses me, *ik.. drone 6923..*
My eyes flash, * yes... My new name.. thank you..
Drone 8696..*
___________
In the end we two drones, continued to make out intensely, passionately, never running out of cum
Untill the next mission is handed to us, and. I join Jason on my first crusade, We will enjoy each other forever.
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______
: D
I enjoyed this one , genuinely think it's one of my best works yet
Hope you enjoy it, fellow drones
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zepskies · 7 days
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Wake Me Up - Part 2
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, Ben is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that you’ve been taken, he’ll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.
AN: Thank you so much for your lovely responses on Part 1! Last week's angst was very physical. Now let's get into emotional...
Song Inspo: “I Can Read Your Mind” by the Doobie Brothers.
Word Count: 6.4K
Tags/Warnings: Angst, PSTD, hurt/comfort, medical trauma and injuries…and a bit of Nurse Benjamin? lol
💚 Wake Me Up Masterlist || Break Me Down Masterlist
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Part 2: “All in Your Eyes”
At first, it was all shapeless color.
It felt like a small eternity before your vision cleared, and you dimly became aware of being in a hospital room. Your steady heartbeat clipped away on the monitor.
You had an IV in your hand and wires suction-cupped to your chest. Your raggedy clothes had been replaced with a blue paper gown, hidden under the blankets keeping you warm.
It was a slow process, and it hurt, but you managed to turn your head. You saw a man sitting in the corner with a laptop balanced on his lap. He typed with two fingers at a time, which reminded you of your grandfather. His brown hair fell over his furrowed brows, but his beard was well-trimmed.
His head soon rose, possibly feeling the weight of your gaze. His eyes widened a fraction, and he hastily closed the laptop and set it down on his seat before he went to you. You frowned when he came to sit at your bedside, and even touched your cheek with a gentle hand.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said. His voice was deep and smooth. “How’re you feeling?”
You didn’t have the energy to lean away from his hand, but you did give him a look of weary confusion.
“I…I don’t…who are you?” you asked.
His green eyes went blank for a moment. His hand fell from your cheek. 
Then he chuckled in disbelief.
“Eyes are barely open, and already you’re fucking around,” he said.
That confused you even more. You were saved from answering, however, when there came a knock at the door. A blonde young woman peeked in. She brightened with a shocked, but happy smile when she saw you were awake.
“Hey! Oh my God, you’re awake,” she whispered in excitement. She went to your bed on the other side and picked up your hand. It took you a moment to remember her name, but you did recognize her.
“A-Annie? What…what happened?” you asked. You didn’t recognize the roughness in your own voice.
Annie shared a sobered look with the man sitting beside you, and she looked down at you again.
“Oh, hun. What do you remember?” she said.
You tried hard to think…but you couldn’t. It was all blurry and muddled in your mind.
Then, it was incredibly painful. A sharp, piercing pain that permeated through your skull and rattled down your spine, waking up the rest of your body in the worst of ways.
You whimpered, and the monitor began to beep more incessantly as your heart rate began to climb. You uttered a cry of pain while you held your aching head. You felt the gauze wrapped across your temples, forehead, and under your chin, half-covering your face.
The man turned to Annie with an angry frown.
“Get the goddamn doctor!” he snapped. But he reached for your closest hand and held it gently. He met your tearful eyes. Part of him didn’t know quite how to comfort you though. His eyes flit over your pained face, the way you were gripping your head with one hand.
He brushed his thumb over the one he held.
“…It’s okay, I got you,” he said eventually. “Just breathe.”
You couldn’t respond. There was too much pain, too much confusion. The last thing you saw was the worry in his eyes, before your head fell back against your pillow.
Your world faded away once again.
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Dr. Helen Jeong, the neurologist Grace hired specifically to attend you, had been with you for a while. When she came out, Ben, Annie, your mother Marie, your sister Louisa, and the rest of the team (except for Butcher) were in the waiting room. All of them wanted to hear how you were doing, as well as the doctor’s prognosis.
Ben stood with his arms crossed, and Marie and Louisa followed suit. Technically, Marie was your next of kin, considering you and Ben weren’t married. She was close to tears again, but Louisa was supporting her.
“She’ll need a few more tests to confirm, but it looks like dissociative amnesia,” said Dr. Jeong. “It could be selective. Meaning, she remembers parts of her life, but not others, specifically tied to the past few days and the past year.”
“And me,” said Ben. He was frowning angrily. “Why doesn’t she remember me?”
She gave him a patient look.
“Her skull is fractured, but she’s also gone through an emotional trauma, as well as a physical one," she said. "The memories she’s lost are likely linked to that trauma, and so, her brain is trying to block out anything related to that painful time. It’s the body’s way of coping.”
Somehow, that explanation didn’t make it any better. Something dark and unfamiliar had been churning in Ben’s gut for days, but now he was forced to reckon with it.
It was guilt, and it was eating at his insides, clawing up to his throat. He covered it up with a hot layer of anger.
“Aside from time to heal from her injuries, it’s important that she be taken care of in a familiar, low-stress environment,” said Dr. Jeong. She aimed that last bit at Ben.
“How long until she’s better?” Louisa asked. “Will her memories come back at all?”
Ben shot her a dark look for even asking that question, but the doctor bobbed her head.
“It may take a while. Weeks, or even months, but have patience with her. As she heals, and with therapy, her memories should come back eventually,” she said. She gave Ben in particular a more reassuring glance.
He wasn’t interested in being reassured. He wanted results.
The doctor moved on so she could schedule an MRI for you, among other tests. Annie went over and laid a tentative hand on Ben’s arm. He glared at her touch and slid his gaze over to her.
“Look, we’re here for her…and for you,” she said. Even though she withdrew her hand, she looked sincere. “Whatever she needs, just let us know.”
Hughie was just behind her with a sympathetic look of agreement. M.M., Kimiko, and Frenchie were quietly supportive, if somber. You’d recognized Annie and Hughie earlier, but the others were strangers to you as well—likely because you’d met the other two at Supe Affairs, before you took on one fateful mission that would lead you to Ben. And him to you.
He let out a breath and gave Annie a minimal nod.
She smiled a little, and she and Hughie went back into your room to say goodbye for now. They promised to come back and visit, along with the others.
Meanwhile, Marie and Louisa were talking quietly. Ben’s ears perked up to it.
“I think she should come stay with you, Mom, until she’s better,” Louisa said.
When Ben heard that, he approached them. His darker frown was back in place.
“She’s coming home with me,” he said, in a tone that boded no argument. He should have remembered that your sister was too much like you sometimes. Fucking stubborn.
“If she doesn’t know you, she’s not going to be comfortable with you,” Louisa pointed out.
Marie gave her daughter a look, one that said she could’ve had a little more tact there.
“The best way for her to get her memories back is for her to stay with me, in a familiar place. In her home,” Ben said, his voice terse and shoulders tense.
“But trying to remember is hurting her,” Louisa said. “She needs to heal from her injuries first. And oh, how about this? No one will even tell us how the hell this happened in the first place!”
Ben’s frown deepened. Your younger sister had been warming up to him a bit more since the Christmas holiday you all spent together last month, but it seemed she was just as protective of you as you were of her.
Fine. Ben understood it, but Louisa was just a college student, not even old enough to order a fucking beer. He wouldn’t have this little girl telling him what was best for you.
However, as he glanced at your mother, he also couldn’t bring himself to answer Louisa’s non-question. At least, not with the whole truth.
“It was retaliation,” he replied, “for a supe we put away a while back.”
Louisa sighed heavily. Her lower lip trembled as tears welled up in her eyes, and she bit her lip and shared a look with her mother.
“Why did they want her though?” Louisa asked Ben, sniffling.
He held the tremor of unease deep inside, and he thought fast.
“He had connections in the CIA. She was the only part of the team here at the base, so he singled her out,” he said. The lie rolled off his tongue without much effort, even though part of it did add to the dark churning in his gut. His gaze fell beyond them.
“All of this is a moot fucking point,” he said. “All she needs is my blood, and she’ll be just fine.”
Louisa wiped under her wet eyes and scoffed.
“You think she’s going to accept a blood transfusion from a supe? Look, I’m sorry, but she’s not the person you know right now—”
“All the more reason to fix this sack of bullshit,” Ben snapped.
He turned on his heel and headed for your room. By now, Annie, Hughie, and the rest of them had cleared out. You were dozing, it seemed, but your eyes opened when Ben thundered in, followed closely by Marie and Louisa.
“Ben,” Louisa warned.
“What’s going on?” you asked weakly.
Ben shook his head and went to your bedside. He took up your hand and didn’t notice (or ignored) the apprehension in your eyes.
“Look, I know you think you don’t know me. You’ve been through…a lot,” he said. He paused when he considered the hell you’d probably endured the past few days. His gut began to roil again, but he pushed forward.
“Last year, you got hurt. Bad enough that you were going to need surgery,” he explained. “But I gave you some of my blood, and you healed right up. I’m gonna do the same for you now.”
You saw that he was serious, that he probably believed he was telling the truth. You just didn’t know this man—this supe that they’d told you was actually Soldier Boy. Instinctively you tried to pull your hand out of his grasp.
“No thanks,” you said, trying to hide your nerves. “I think I’m good healing on my own.”
Ben frowned. He held your hand a fraction tighter.
“Look—”
“No, you look,” you said in frustration, and a frisson of wariness. “I know you think I’m your…girlfriend or life partner or whatever the fuck, but I don’t know you.”
Just as the words left your lips, something sharp and painful flashed in your skull.
You can’t. You can’t. You can’t.
“But you do. You fucking know me!” Ben insisted. His grip on your hand tightened enough to make you flinch, a whimper sounding in your throat.
“Hey!” Louisa snapped at him.
“Ben,” Marie said, more gently, but not without urgency.
He realized what he was doing, and he forced himself to relax his grip. He watched you take your hand back and look at him like he was some kind of animal. He also realized then that you were scared. Scared of him.
Fuck me…
By degrees, he relented. Heaving a sigh, he carded a hand through his hair and gave a short nod.
“All right,” he said, and he met your eyes. “I’m, uh…I’m sorry, sweetheart. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
He held your wary gaze until you nodded in acceptance. He took in your face, bruised, and still stained pink from the blood that had been cleaned away with antiseptic wipes. Your neck, arms, and chest were the same; your other wounds were stitched up and bandaged.
According to the first doctor who evaluated you after you came out of emergency surgery (Ben had already forgotten the broad’s name), you’d also sustained broken ribs and a fractured cheekbone, aside from your other injuries.
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“And…what about the rest of it?” Ben had asked. He spoke alone with the doctor, just outside your room. Marie and Louisa were in there with you now in the ICU.
The doctor shook her head, offering a look of professional reassurance.
“No. There’s no evidence of sexual trauma,” she said.
Ben took that information in with a nod. Inside his chest, however, the clenching around his heart eased a great deal.
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But even with that relief, just your battered face, and the way you were looking at him now…it was all too much.
Ben ignored the voice deep inside that said this was what he deserved.
He stood up, and he left you with your family.
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While Louisa had to go back to her dorm for school tomorrow, Marie stayed with you that night. You zoned in and out while New Girl played on the little TV on the wall.
Marie caressed your hair gently, though she was mindful of the way most of your head was wrapped after surgery to fix your skull. If only they could fix your mind too.
“That man…” you trailed. “Um, Soldier Boy. All that crazy shit he was saying…was it true?”
Marie gave you a look for your use of language, but she nodded gravely, and with sadness.
“Yes, Ben was telling the truth,” she said. “He’s the one who saved you. Believe me, he’s very upset that you’re hurt like this.”
You tried to process that as you frowned in contemplation. He’d certainly been…pushy. And determined, like he could actually heal you.
It didn’t matter though. You weren’t about to let a supe feed you his blood like a damn vampire, or whatever Compound V-tainted shit he tried to give you. You weren’t Bella Swan, and this wasn’t fucking Twilight.
“Ben” was rough, and demanding, and gave off a real assholish exterior. Just before he left, though, you also saw his upset. He had taken in your injuries like he was angry, just at the state of you. Like he was mad that he hadn’t been able to prevent it.
“I guess he went home,” you said. Marie shook her head.
“No, he’s still here.”
Your brows knitted together. “What?”
“He’s in the waiting room downstairs,” she explained. “Grace made sure he had a special pass so he could stay with us in the hospital, just in case…”
“In case of what?” you asked. Marie smiled and continued to brush your hair back.
“In case we need him,” she said. “For protection, he said.”
Her eyes shone with sadness again, like she knew something you didn’t. It made you suspicious, but you were surprised that he was still here, despite what you’d said to him.
…Huh, you thought.
Thanks to the (fucking awesome) power of morphine, you fell asleep shortly after.
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A week later, you were still recovering in the hospital. The shitty fact of it was, between the medication for your injuries and the risk of pulling your stitches, you could barely move. Dr. Burke was pleased that you at least had feeling in your extremities. One of her main concerns for you had been mobility issues.
Well, you still had to use a bedpan, and sometimes you missed your mouth when you ate pudding, but at least you could feel your feet.
Marie took the whole work week off from her job in order to stay with you. Louisa visited you every day she could after her classes, but she had a recital coming up, and you didn’t want her to lose focus. You encouraged her to only come if and when she finished getting in all the practice she needed.
And Ben…well, he came often. Mostly when you were sleeping. And every time you woke up, you saw something new from him: a beautiful bouquet of flowers, imported chocolates, a snack from the deli down the street from the hospital, a good breakfast from your favorite café in the city, or even several orders of takeout for you, him, and Marie.
You also noticed how your mother doted on him almost as much as she did on you, offering to grab him cups of coffee, or laying her blanket over him while he napped in the big lounge chair close to your bedside.
The guy just refused to leave. So you didn’t say anything about it. You just watched him whenever you were lucid enough to notice he was there.
As it became easier for you to stay awake, and to observe his quiet, but solid presence, the more your wariness of Ben bled away.
You soon began to realize that you were curious about him. If you really had been with him before, how had you two met? And what had made you get with a supe, let alone the original supe Vought ever introduced to America?
You considered him now while he dozed in that uncomfortable looking chair. His brown locks had once again swept over his brows, almost obscuring his eyes. Part of you itched to lean over and brush it all away from his face. If only you were close enough.
You could admit, if just within the safety of your mind, that he was a damn fine specimen of a man. Between the cut of that bearded jaw, the broadness of his arms and chest, the length of those widespread legs…
“Keep staring at me and you’ll wear a damn hole in my face,” he muttered.
You inhaled sharply, and his eyes cracked open. A small smirk raised his lips in amusement. You smiled as well, more in embarrassment at being caught.
Ben let out a long breath and rolled the cracks out of his neck, confirming your assumption that the chair was even more uncomfortable than it looked. You felt a bit bad for him, that he was putting himself through all that for your sake…for someone who didn’t remember him.
He turned to you in askance. “How’re you holding up?”
You shrugged.
“Okay. Pain meds are finally kicking in, at least for the hour.”
He nodded, dragging a hand over his beard. He knew that you’d eaten lunch with your second dose of the day not too long ago.
“You still hungry?” he asked. “I don’t know how they could give you that shit. What was that, some poor fucking excuse for baby food?”
“Whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasant,” you agreed, but the doctor had requested something you could easily digest, with all the medication you were on.
Ben shook his head and rocked onto his feet. He’d get you a candy bar or something. He knew Twix was your favorite.
“Um…Ben,” you said, halting his steps. He turned to you with a raise of his brows. You pointed over to the folded quilt at the foot of your bed. Your mom had brought it from home.
“Would you give me that blanket over there?” you asked. “I’m a little cold.”
You’d get it yourself, but it pained you to fold yourself over. Ben was gracious enough to go over and get the blanket for you. He even opened it up and covered your body up to your chest. His face was stoic, more or less, but there was care in his hands. You found yourself staring up at his face. He leaned against the guardrail of your bed and met your eyes.
“Thank you,” you said, in a near whisper. “And, um…my water?”
You pointed to the plastic cup and jug on the rolling tray to his left. He shot you a look, but he did as you asked, pouring some fresh water into the cup and handing it to you. His fingers brushed with yours on the pass, but you tried not to focus on the warmth of his hand. Instead, you took a few sips from the cup and handed it back to him. He set it back on the tray for you.
“What’d I do to get the hot nurse?” you couldn’t help but tease.
Ben’s brows rose again, somewhat incredulous this time. Then, he was unable to restrain a cocky smile.
“Hmm, I’m a let that one go, since you’re laid up,” he said. 
His gaze roamed your face. He noted that your purplish bruises were easing up somewhat, to green and yellow. Your lacerations were beginning to heal. And before, where there had been wariness, he now saw curiosity in your eyes.
“Can I ask you something?” you drew enough courage to ask.
His lips twitching to one corner, he lowered the guardrail and sat down on the edge of your bed. He gave you an expectant look. You sucked in a breath to steel yourself.
“How long have we been a…a thing?” you asked, pointing between the both of you.
Ben quirked a brow. “About a year now.”
You nodded, though your eyes were wide in surprise. You actually began to blush.
Ben smirked. He reached for the phone in his pocket and handed it over to you, after scrolling to find his photo album.
“Does that look like we don’t know each other?” he asked.
You shot him a wry glance, but you took the phone and started looking through the album. Many of the pictures that featured both of you looked like ones you’d taken, just from the angle. One picture was rather innocuous of him sitting on a couch, presumably watching TV, while you rested on his shoulder and smiled at the camera. His arm was wrapped around your waist.
Another was of you glaring at him in surprise, mid-bite on a large chili hot dog. He wore a Cheshire grin while leaning in close to your cheek.
There were several more than you flipped through, but each one made you sting with the unfamiliarity of it all. You couldn’t remember any of this, but it was undeniable what you and Ben were to each other.
Then you happened on a picture of just you, fresh out of the shower with a towel barely wrapped around you. You looked annoyed, but by the evidence of your smile, also amused that he’d surprised you with the picture.
Your blush intensified as you scrolled past that one. Then you encountered more pictures of you and him, each position filled with more bare flesh—and even more compromising than the next. You refused to press play on any of the videos.
“Oookay,” you said with a full flush heating your face and neck, and the tips of your ears. You minimized the album and all but tossed the phone back at him.
Ben’s smirk had deepened the longer he watched you peruse through the pictures. Now he chuckled and pocketed his phone.
“Like what you see, huh, sweetheart?” he couldn’t help but tease.
Frankly, you were adorable, getting all embarrassed, crossing your arms and pulling the blanket up to your neck. You shot him a look of warning.
What, you could eye him like a honey-glazed ham, flirt with him even, but you couldn’t take a little on the return side?
Ben chuckled some more and reached for your hand, to uncross your arms. You allowed it with a thinly veiled wariness. You weren’t afraid of him…anymore. But that didn’t mean there was no reason to keep your guard up around this guy.
Meanwhile, Ben actually struggled to figure out what he wanted to say to you. Something that wouldn’t put you off, or come off too strong. This was just too fucking strange…
He met your gaze with a heavy exhale.
“You’re going to be let out of here soon enough,” he said. “You don’t need to be scared of me. I’m not gonna hurt you. Matter of fact, I saved you.”
I’ve saved you more times than I can fucking count at this point, he thought wryly.
You stared back at him in contemplation. He sensed you were listening, really trying to hear him.
“You do care about me, don’t you?” you asked, almost in wonder.
Ben didn’t answer you right away. Your question took him off guard a bit, but he also found himself meeting your gaze.
“I think that’s pretty fucking obvious,” he said. You frowned at him then.
“Not entirely," you said. "Not if you don’t say it, Romeo.”
Ben stilled. Against his will, he remembered the last real words he’d said to you before this nightmare began.
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“I love you,” you’d said. He could hear your pretty smile through the phone. “Just wanted to make sure you knew that.”
“Mhmm,” Ben replied, smiling himself. “I’ll see you soon, baby doll.”
He could also hear your disappointment, there in your brief silence.
“Come on, say it,” you implored.
Ben restrained a sigh. He cast a subtle look from the corner of his eye, watching Butcher, M.M., and Kimiko loading the car with their weapons, along with the supe they’d captured. They were all too close for comfort.
“Say what?” Ben asked, feigning ignorance. Your sigh reached him, stinging him.
“You know exactly what,” you replied.
He knew what you wanted, but he still didn’t give it to you.
He didn’t allow himself.
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Now, he brushed a thumb over the back of your hand, and he sighed. Sometimes, regret weighed just as bad as guilt, even if you couldn’t admit to either one.
His gaze now slid up to yours.
“Well, I do… I care about you,” Ben said.
You’re fucking mine, his selfish heart added. He just didn’t think you’d react well to that admission.
“What do you say about coming home with me?” he asked. “I think being around all your stuff will help you…get better.”
You debated his proposition, and you realized his idea made sense. If this man was really your boyfriend, and you’d been living with him for a year…then maybe you could trust him.
Just not entirely.
“I want my mom to come too,” you said.
Ben smiled. It was a small, but true smile, and it took you by surprise. But you only felt your face getting warm again when he pressed his lips to the back of your hand. 
“Yeah, she can come help me take care of you, ‘til you’re feeling better,” he said.
You regarded him for a moment, still wondering if you could trust him. The longer you stared into his eyes, the more you found yourself relenting.  
“Okay,” you agreed. “I’ll go with you.”
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After you were finally discharged from the hospital, Ben drove you and Marie out of the city to his apartment in Scarsdale. Technically, it was your apartment too.
He promised that it had been fitted with a much better security system, now with motion cameras around the apartment, and sensors on the roof. (You didn’t know that Hughie would have to explain to Ben how all that shit worked on his phone.)
The apartment itself was familiar to you, but it felt fuzzy in your mind. Like you had a dream of being here, living a life that wasn’t yours.
Thanks to the stairs, Ben left your bags at the foot of them, before he carefully maneuvered you into his arms without pressing on any of your stitches. You sucked in a shaky breath and held onto his shoulders, squeezing your eyes tight for a moment as the movement jostled your sense of equilibrium.
“You okay?” he asked. You blinked your eyes open and met his. His brows were furrowed in concern, but it was the intensity of his eyes that stole your breath. Part of you wanted to smile, half out of nerves, but you tempered it.
“Peachy,” you replied.
His lips twitched. He then moved carefully up the stairs.
He set you back down on your feet once he reached the top, at your insistence. Marie came in from behind with her suitcase and your forearm crutch, but Ben still kept a supporting arm around your waist.
“I’ve got it,” you told him, a bit nervous and hasty to escape his hold.
He released you, and reluctantly watched you head further into the apartment on your own two feet (and crutch). You wandered into each room like you were looking for a damn portal into Narnia.
It was hard for Ben to watch you like this. With a sigh, he went back downstairs to grab the rest of your things. He set them down in the living room while you ambled off into the guest room. Marie touched his arm in comfort.
“It’ll be okay, honey,” she said.
She’d developed a soft spot for Ben not too long after meeting him. And though he’d never admitted it, the sentiment was reciprocated.
He didn’t answer her, but after a moment, he nodded. She rubbed his arm with a faint smile and went to check on you.
Marie soon found you in the office you and Ben shared. It didn’t look like he used this room often, while your desk was covered in papers and files. It did, however, smell like his cologne in here.
Or, well, the scent was masculine and woodsy—like sandalwood and spice (and a hint of weed, as evidenced from the ashtray on his desk). You had to assume the scent belonged to him, even though you didn’t think he’d worn cologne at all in the hospital. Or maybe you just inherently recognized it as his.
Huh. Smell is the strongest sense, you mused to yourself.
The thought of you remembering anything at all from what you’d lost had you the slightest bit excited, and nervous. Dr. Jeong said you’d been through a terrible trauma. The evidence of it now littered your body and had nearly broken you. So you were fairly certain that there were things you didn’t want to remember.
The touch of your mother’s hand on your shoulder had you jolting. You breathed in relief when you saw her. Her eyes widened and she held up placating hands.
“Oh! I’m sorry,” she said. “You okay?”
You nodded, though you continued to take in your surroundings with a small frown. She helped you sit in one of the office chairs, as your strength was already waning.
“It seems like everything he said was true. It’s just…it’s a lot,” you said.
“Of course it is,” said Marie. “But if it helps, you seemed very happy here. You were just glowing all night with him at the Christmas party.”
Great, yet another event that was entirely blank in your mind. If you couldn’t remember celebrating your favorite holiday, then what was the point? You huffed.
“I just find it hard to believe that I’d end up with a supe,” you admitted. You worked at Supe Affairs for God’s sake.
Marie only laughed and rubbed your back. 
“Well, you found a good one,” she said. 
A good one, huh? you shook your head in true wonder.
Now that was food for thought.
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When you first arrived, Ben had led you to the master bedroom and said it was your room. So why the fuck was he climbing into bed with you?
“Excuse me,” you frowned at him, drawing the blankets closer over your body. You only had on a large shirt over your underwear. It was how you preferred to dress for bed, and it was easier than pulling a pair of shorts over the healing scars on your legs.
Ben had on a gray shirt and some plaid pajama pants. He’d shucked off his old man loafers before making the right side of the bed dip with his weight. He raised a brow at you.
“What?” he asked.
“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked.
“Going to bed, sweetheart. Been a long fucking week,” he retorted.
“I thought this was my bed,” you said.
“It’s our bed,” he corrected. He grabbed the edge of the blanket to pull some of it towards him, but you pulled it tighter against you.
“Look,” you said flatly. “I agreed to come here and stay with you, but I didn’t agree to this kind of close quarters.”
Ben stared back at you in annoyance and willed his temper not to snap. So fucking what if he shared the bed with you? It was a California king. The odds of your bodies even touching were slim to none.
However, he saw that stubborn look in your eyes. It was all too familiar.
Christ on a cross. He forgot how goddamn difficult you were in the beginning.
And really, you two were at the beginning, all over again. He’d gotten you to trust him, slightly, but he knew the rest would take time.
Is this really fucking worth it? came an insidious thought deep inside. The selfish part that had ruled for most of his life.
Then, he spied the silver Rolex on his nightstand—the one you’d gifted him for Christmas, along with the photo album that you’d put together for him. It included the only pictures he kept of his mother, and new ones you’d made with him. They were pictures you’d collected and captured of your life together so far.
With a deep sigh, Ben wordlessly got out of bed. He grabbed up his pillow and a throw blanket that had slid to the floor, and he made his way to the living room. Marie was taking up the only guest bedroom, so he supposed he was relegated to the couch in his own home. How the fuck did that happen?
He sat down heavily in the middle of the couch and had to take some deep breaths. His head slowly fell into his hands, elbows resting on his knees. With both hands, he tried to rub the exhaustion and frustration from his face.
There were words he couldn’t say. However, within the safety of his mind, he was forced to reckon with it.
This was his fault. He knew it, down to his bones.
It was all really his fucking fault.
He should’ve gotten you a protective security detail from the beginning. He just didn’t think anyone would have the balls to…
Ben breathed past the tightness in his chest that was once again clawing at his throat. 
Well, this fucking blows like a cheap whore, he thought.
And as you might expect, he slept fitfully that night.
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The next morning, you winced at the ache in your head that was now customary for you. You had practically drowned in this giant-ass bed, but the reality was, you’d barely slept. You just couldn’t get comfortable enough to stay asleep.
You didn’t know if it was because it was an unfamiliar place, or because you now had a lower dose of pain meds than you’d been given in the hospital, or if it was because there was just something missing here.
You sighed and hauled yourself out of bed to freshen up. Really, you should’ve waited for your mother or Ben to help you out of bed, but you weren’t used to being incapacitated like this. And even when you were down, it had been ingrained in you (through your father’s special brand of “parenting”) to play through the pain.
So you grabbed your crutch from beside the bed, and somehow you managed to make it to the bathroom by yourself.
After dressing in sweatpants, a bra, and a tank top, you padded out into the hall. Your mom was still sleeping, but you found Ben in the living room.
He was sprawled out across the couch. Half the covers had slipped off his body and pooled on the floor. Again, you tried not to admire the length and broadness of his form, and the way that shirt stretched across his chest and arms.
His arm was curled across his closed eyes, but he lowered it when he heard you approaching.
His eyes were a bit red and bleary. It didn’t look like he’d slept very well either. You felt bad for that, as you leaned on the back of the couch to greet him.
“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” you teased him a little. “You slept like shit out here, didn’t you?”
“What was your first damn clue?” he groused. You had a feeling he was grumpy in the morning, regardless of how well he slept.
“Okay, I’m sorry about that,” you said. Even though you had every right to sleep alone, you still felt bad for making him sleep out here. “How about I make us some coffee?”
He nodded with a grunt. You smiled and teetered only slightly on your way to the kitchen. Ben frowned as he realized it.
“You shouldn’t be walking around like that yet,” he called after you.
He forced himself to get off the couch, rolling to his feet. You shot him a stubborn look.
“I’m fine,” you said.
Ben’s frown deepened with annoyance.
…Right. Okay, you weren’t exactly fine.
You were still exhausted. Still felt like utter crap, as stiffness pulled at your muscles and pain at your stitches and broken ribs. And, oh yes, your head was still broken.
But, this was the most mobile you’d been in a few weeks. You were determined to do at least one normal, productive thing today. Even if it was just making coffee, then you were going to count that as a win.
By the time Ben joined you, the coffee was done percolating and you handed him a mug. He took a sip before he remembered to tell you…no cream.
He looked into the mug in wonder. You’d actually made his coffee with sugar, no cream. Just like he liked it.
Noticing the look on his face, you paused.
“Oh, sorry. I forgot to ask how you take it.”
“No,” he said, sitting across from you at the breakfast bar. “It’s just right.”
You blinked in surprise, but then you shrugged and sipped at your own cup of coffee, which had both cream and sugar. While you were preoccupied with brainstorming where to order in for breakfast, Ben allowed himself to smile a little.
You were in there, somewhere.
He just needed to help you come out.
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AN: See? I promise, there's hope. 💚
(But there's also still drama ahead...)
Next Time:
“We’re not gonna have this discussion again. You need to fucking eat,” he said. “I could feed you, though I promise you’re not gonna like it.”
His surly, frowning face was annoying you. His deep voice was annoying you. His tall, ridiculous wall-of-man body in your line of vision was annoying you, clothed in a rumpled shirt and the sweatpants he’d slept in.  
Everything about him annoyed you right now.
But that could also have something to do with the pounding ache in the back of your skull, radiating forward and between your eyes.
“Bro, I’m on like, three kinds of medication,” you replied in weary irritation. “With what appetite do you expect me to eat?”
Bro? His eyebrow twitched.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 3
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
BMD/Series Tag List (Part 1):
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
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facioleeknow · 28 days
Note
Hi ele! Ive been following for a while but haven’t sent any requests. Sooo, im here with one:
Dom!Husband!Hyunjin x Sub!Fem!Reader
Reader and hyunjin were cuddling, until things started to get heated.
Tysm!
First but not last ° Hwang Hyunjin
You're needy, really needy so Hyunjin decides to haul you on top of his lap and let you take what you want.
Wc: 993                Genre: smut, 18+ ONLY
Tw: groping, creampie, unprotected sex, sub reader, dirty talk, riding, humping, first time on top, crying, reader cums quickly, sub space, hints at after care, let me know if I missed something!
AN: Reblogs and comments are always welcome and very highly appreciated! If you want to be tagged on my work go on my masterpost!
Lazy Sundays with your husband were the best. Laying down on the couch, watching stupid tv shows and cuddling together- your skin on his, his warmth enveloping you. Unfortunately these types of days were very rare. Both of your schedules were very hectic so whenever you had free time you always decided to stay in and bask in each other's presence.
The drama on the tv had been playing for hours, it was an old one that you and Hyunjin had particularly liked and rewatched religiously. Hyunjin's big, warm hand ran up and down your naked back under your t-shirt. It was something he did habitually, nothing new, but there was something about his touch that day. His fingertips sent sparks through your whole body. Goosebumps rose on your back in an irregular pattern. Sweat collected on the back of your neck and your breath was shallow. It was impossible that your husband hadn't noticed but he remained focused on the tv. 
Your panties had begun to stick to your core uncomfortably and not even the squishing and rubbing of your plush thighs did anything to alleviate your ache.
When you started to squirm and wriggle, Hyunjin turned to look at you.
“What is it, my love?” his voice and his eyes were sweet as always when he talked to you. A whine escaped your lips, your head buried in his chest.
“Jinnie, I need you,” you whined and panted.
“You need me baby?” 
Your lower lip trembled and your eyes welled with tears, it was a pitiful sight, but Hyunjin loved it when you got desperate like this. You nodded.
“Then come get what you want, my sweet,” Hyunjin hadn't even finished his sentence that he was hauling you into his lap and pushing your clothed pussy onto his hard length. Your lips formed an O as you felt him pressed up onto you.
“But I've never…” your confidence wavered.
“It's time you learn, you're a big girl, baby,” Hyunjin saw the insecurity in your eyes, “you're gonna be fine baby, just do what feels good for you and you'll do great,” he reassured you.
You hummed at his words, he never would have lied to you. With that your husband pressed your pelvises back together again, your pussy pulsed and gushed. With small uncertain movements, you started grinding on him, back and forth. His dick twitched in his boxers and grew even harder, a wet patch of precum stained his underwear. 
Hyunjin's eyes twinkled with love as he gazed up at you. You were beautiful, like a queen on her throne. 
The movement of your hips had started to get more and more frantic, arousal and pleasure clouded your mind.
“Shit, slow down, my love, you're gonna hurt yourself,” his voice was shaky, the proof of the unfathomable pleasure you were making him feel. His hands gripped the juncture between your torso and your thighs, his fingers digged into the flesh of your ass, effectively stopping your movements.
“Hyunjinnie, inside, please, I need you inside, please, inside, inside,” you kept bubbling, your forehead resting on Hyunjin's shoulder. Your husband gently patted your ass and lifted you up and shaky legs to free his dick from its confines. When he finally sheathed himself inside you, a high pitched cry came out of your mouth and he sighed in pleasure. Your pussy hugged him perfectly, your velvety warm walls felt almost comforting to him.
“You can move, baby, try rocking your hips back and forth.*
Hyunjin didn't even have to repeat himself that you started to furiously hump him, searching for your Hugh and your high only. Small ‘huh’s were the only sounds coming from you while Hyunjin threw his head back and panted loudly at your actions. Your slick dripped down his balls and the wet sounds you were making echoed and bounced of the walls.
“My little lover humping me like a dumb puppy. You're making me feel so good, do you feel good, my muse?” Hyunjin's voice was husky and sensual, it went straight to your pussy and made a ring of white cream collect around Hyunjin's girth.
“I can't, Jinnie, I can't,” you whined pathetically.
“Aw, baby, do you need me to touch your little clit? Get it all wet as well? Rub you until you're all sore?” You didn't have to answer, he wasn't looking for an answer. His long and warm fingers found your clit and began rubbing and pinching roughly just how you liked. The pleasure downed all you all at the same time and in an instant you could feel your high approaching. It was one of the fastest and most powerful orgasms you had ever reached, never in your life you had gotten so worked up so fast but then again never in your life had you been on top. 
Your humping sped up and Hyunjin knew you were close, after the years spent together you were like an open book to him. The hand that was resting on waist reached under your t shirt and pinched your right nipple, hard. You wailed.
Your high washed over you in mere seconds, leaving you panting and exhausted, but Hyunjin hadn't cum and you had to stay awake. 
“Jinnie please, cum in me, please I want it inside, I want to be full of you,” you babbled tiredly. Hyunjin started thrusting into you strongly, you could feel him hit your cervix every time. The pleasure mixed with the pain and you slipped into that dimension where everything is made of cotton and the world feels soft. 
Your husband reached your high shortly after you, his cum shot deep into your womb and filled you up to the brim. 
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you kept repeating. Hyunjin's tired hands lifted up and started petting your hair lovingly, trying to ground you.
“It's all right baby, you're safe with me. Let's get you cleaned up okay?”
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seuonji · 4 months
Note
HII!! i love your writing sm (seriously helps sm after a long day) and i was just asking if you had the time or were inspired could you do how svt would react if their introvert s/o is like socially exhausted sfw (ive had to go to important social events everyday for two weeks straight and i am absolutely exhausted). (If you cant do svt then maybe coups?) Again thank you so much for the content and if you cant do it its perfectly fine.(Idk whether youre taking requests rn, so if you arent im so super sorry for bothering you)
from aya: HII!! omg i’m so happy to hear that my writings make you feel better T^T <3 i hope your days get better!! it can be exhausting but im happy to know you have things to fall back on so that you can relax!! love lots, hope you enjoy this!
btw! so sorry this took so long i’ve been busy with the real world too hahah. i did the 95z so that there was a variety in scenarios but do let me know if you want another member!!<3
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seungcheol. he doesn’t really need words to know how you feel, he’d be able to tell just by the look on your face but even then, he can’t help but feel his heart sink seeing you so tired.
so when you came home after a long day and you weren’t your usual self, he immediately noticed it when he greeted you at the front door.
“tiring day today?” he tilted his head as he reached for your body, pulling you close and compressing himself onto you. he hopes that the hug would be comforting to you and it was. it’s as if the warmth of his hug melted your heart and it brought your back to life.
“do you want to have some alone time?” he totally understands if you do, he gets it if that’s the only way you can recharge
you weren’t sure if you wanted to see seungcheol today but he was your comfort. he felt you shake your head into his chest answering a no to his question and he just brushed your hair. slowly, he parted from the hug and took the things you were holding, “want to eat or anything?” no matter what you plan on doing, after this you two would spend the night with a long cuddle session that recharges you from the draining day.
if you want him to, he’d definitely whisper encouragements or advice on how to not get drained too quickly. as a fellow introvert himself, he knows best.
“it’s tiring but you handled it so well! just keep doing the same you’ll get used to it but if it gets too much just call me and i’ll be there for you,” he whispered as he stroked your hair.
+
jeonghan probably teased you at first.
“ahh yn your face looks so dull today,” he gently caressed your face but as you gave a bitter reaction as a response, he realised that something was wrong and immediately apologised for making the joke. he quickly changed to listening mode, ready to listen to you but even if you don’t tell him, he’d just sit with you until you’re ready to speak.
as you open up, he’d offer some tricks to get away from the crowd even if they’re bizarre.
“if you get tired, just go into your car and drive home, to me,” he proudly smirked
“hanie…i have to be there.”
“okay then just go to the washroom and call me if you start feeling tired of socialising.”
“why would i call you if i’m tired of socialising.”
“well i didn’t think i make you feel tired of socialising,” he said in disbelief.
he means it all as a joke but he definitely has some good advice and suggestions hidden in there which really gets you through a day.
+
joshua was suspecting that you were going to feel this way even before you left the house. so when you came home with the expression that screamed ‘exhausted’ he could only greet you with a smile which hid his frown. he was upset knowing he couldn’t do much to avoid you from feeling that way but he knew he could provide you comfort so that’s what he did.
he greeted you home with a hug and asked if you wanted some alone time in case you wanted to recharge on your own.
there’s something that really brightens his day when you say you want to spend your time with him. he’d definitely spends the night pampering you and making you some comfort food while finding things you like to do like listening to music or reading a book together, whatever helps you recharge. the days definitely a lot more silent but you’re just comfortably in each others space.
in the bed before you two sleep, he holds you close. both your eyes are shut but he still whispers words from his heart.
“you did amazing today yn and you’ll do even better tomorrow. but remember you can tell me when it gets hard, okay? just tell me what you need.”
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widowmaxff · 3 months
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Hiii WandaNat x daughter reader where R was severely harmed in a mission or got involved.
For example, they Nat or Wands were assigned on a mission to investigate and just so it happens, R was there so when chaos started, R was severely injured and like got a pretty bad brain damage which she will fight through. How will the mother's copee??
Thankss!
safe & sound
pairings: parents!wandanat × daughter!reader (platonic)
warnings: angst, bad writing :P, crying, physical violence, hospital, natasha blames herself ;((, lots of love from moms <3
a/n: im really sorry it took me SO long to write this request, ive been having awful weeks and im really trying to write. anyway, i hope you like it and thank you very much for the request luv <333
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When you decided you wanted to follow in the same footsteps as your mothers, they didn't react so well. You always trained with the Avengers, closely watching their next steps for any unforeseen circumstances and how good they were at what they did. And you especially loved seeing Wanda and Natasha fighting, they have been your inspiration since you were little and understand each other. 
You remember when you asked your mother Natasha to start going on missions, even if it was the easier ones that would only take a few hours, and you could swear you saw her eyes light up with regret. Not that she didn't trust you, but both Natasha and Wanda knew that any mission would be dangerous and the last thing they wanted was to leave you hurt or for anything bad to happen to you. So, you started to train even more and show how much you dedicated yourself to going on one of these missions and, as your mothers knew you so well, they knew that you wouldn't give up until you went on one of them.
"Fury allowed you to go on this mission with one of us," Natasha was sitting in front of him next to Wanda in the meeting room. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face, your legs shaking because you were so excited for your first mission. "It's an easy mission where you just have to investigate and collect some important information in an old Hydra base." You nod listening to every detail of what you needed to do.
"Fury assured us that there will be no one and no agent, but for your safety you will carry a weapon, okay?" Wanda, your other mother, spoke this time. She also seemed to be a little worried about your first mission since she remembers very well what it's like to be in the hospital bed after one or see anyone else in it. Just imagining you in that position makes her body shiver.
Your mothers start to tell you some information about what you should know and what would happen. Even though the mission was so easy and simple, Wanda decided that it would be better if Natasha accompanied you, since if she went along she might end up getting so nervous that she would faint. And even though you assured that you would be careful, she made you hug her for at least five minutes, stroking your hair and giving you all the comfort you would need for that mission. "I love you so much my love."
"I love you very much too, Mama." You felt Wanda leave a long kiss on your hair as you laid your head on her shoulder. "I promise everything will be fine."
She laughs and takes a deep breath. "I'm the one who should be saying this. But you're right, my love." You separate from her and see that her eyes were full of tears.
Even though it seemed a little dramatic, you knew that Wanda was very close to you. Whenever your mother missed you because you were only away from home for a few hours, you remember when Natasha told you that when it was your first day of school when you were a toddler, Wanda didn't want to let you go at all. And now several years later, she still reacted the same way.
"Alright, we better go before Wanda makes us give up." Natasha says, making her other mother roll her eyes before walking towards her, leaving a long kiss on her lips.
"Ew, not in front of me." You make a disgusted expression at them, even if it was just a joke. You've always admired how much your mothers are in love with each other and how much they show it on a daily basis. Wanda always preferred physical affection to love Natasha, and Romanoff always preferred acts of service to love Maximoff. And even though they were different things, the two never disliked these acts.
"One day it's going to be you, sweetheart." They giggle before hugging each other as they say 'I love you'. 
[...]
Your hands sounded as you entered the Hydra base. A gun in hand as you looked in every corner of that place. You felt like something was out of position, but you tried not to worry. Maybe it was just your anxious conscious or maybe you were just too nervous. The noise of your heart was too loud and the only thing you heard was the faint footsteps of your boot on the ground. And even though you tried to focus on what was happening there at the moment, it seemed like now all of your mother Wanda's nervous genes were in you.
"I think I found it, Mom." You speak into the device in your ear, Natasha listening on the other side. She praises you, sending a wave of comfort to your mind that seemed to be trying to sabotage you at that moment.
You quickly place the pen drive in the computer and see the percentage of how much was transferred appear on the screen. You hold the gun tightly in your hands as you scan the place, looking at every possible corner. You walk to your right calmly, trying not to make too much noise in your tall black boots. And when you were about to take the next step, a big tud behind you made you turn around quickly, still with the gun pointed forward. "Mom, I just heard a noise-" And before you could finish speaking, the lights in the place went out completely, the energy going out.
"Y/n- need- leave-!" The device in your ear was getting stuck a lot, loud noises disturbing what little you could hear. Natasha tried to say something, but you almost couldn't hear, leaving you alone with your own thoughts.
With all the training you had you tried to stay as calm as possible. Even if you couldn't see if someone or something was with you, your ears tried to capture any sound coming from that space, but with the device in your ears it was almost impossible. You knew that if you took it off it would be a big risk if your mother ever managed to talk to you again. But it would also be a risk not to hear what was around you.
You debated with what you should do or not do, but it was too late when two large arms grabbed your body from the ground. You let out a startled scream when you realize what is happening. Your reflexes are quick as you forcefully push your elbow into the stomach of the stranger behind you. He staggers back, making you fall to the ground, but before you can do anything, a kick lands in your belly. You hit your head on the ground, making your vision even blurrier. Your gun was still stuck in your hands, so the first thing you do is aim forward and shoot, when you hear a male scream of pain you know you hit him somewhere. "You bitch!"
You don't realize what's happening when he takes a gun out of his pants and also shoots. You scream in pain when the bullet pierces your arm that was holding the gun, it wasn't very deep, but the pain was too horrible. And even if you tried, you couldn't raise your arm to shoot the guy again. You start to crawl backwards trying to get away from the figure that you still couldn't see in the dark and prayed that he couldn't see you too.
But when you started to hear his heavy footsteps towards you, you knew there was nothing left to do.
[...]
Wanda felt her heart stop when she heard the doctors moving around in the Compound. Someone had been hurt on some mission a few hours after you and Natasha left. Maximoff was shaking as she waited for the injured person's Quinjet to pull up, and even though she asked any of the doctors who the unlucky one was, it seemed like she was invisible to them. It seemed like they didn't want to respond to watch her heart break into a million pieces.
Wanda felt so nervous that she thought maybe she was going to faint. Thinking that the extremely injured person, since the doctors were going almost crazy to get everything they needed, could be you or Natasha, made her want to throw up her entire lunch right there. And when the car appeared in their vision, Wanda moved even closer, continuing to give the doctors space to do their work.
When the big door opened, the first thing your mother saw was Natasha with some bruises on her face along with tears that still fell on her pale face. Romanoff held you in her arms. One of them put pressure on your arm to stop the bleeding, but even so, you seemed to be bleeding from other places as a pool of blood was being spilled by Natasha's suit. Your body was unconscious and heavy in your mother's hands, your face completely scarred with cuts and bruises all over it. And even if your mother tried to look at your fragile and small body, she couldn't.
Maximoff lets out a grunt when she sees that you were the current patient. Seeing how Natasha staggered with you in her arms was one of the worst sights she could have had. You being placed on the stretcher while the doctors took you to surgery as quickly as possible was in her nightmares, and now, she could feel firsthand how horrible that was. Natasha follows the crowd of people, finally coming across her wife there. Romanoff didn't wait a second to throw herself into Wanda's arms as the two allowed the tears to fall. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"Shh- it's not your fault, Natasha." Wanda tried to calm her down, even though it was almost impossible since she also needed comfort. "Y/n is going to be fine, it's okay."
"I- I couldn't get there in time. She was in- in a huge pool of blood and this guy was-" Natasha couldn't finish speaking before her eyes started bursting with tears again as she recalled the scene of you barely conscious on the ground while the Hydra agent kicked you mercilessly. Blood smeared everywhere and your face full of tears was what she saw every time she closed her eyes, it was horrible.
It took Wanda a few minutes to get Natasha to calm down. Despite many other occasions being the opposite, Romanoff has always shown how concerned she is about you. But seeing you and having to carry you almost dead in her arms was another thing entirely, and one that will probably haunt her forever. Natasha had the beginning of a panic attack there, with her blood on her suit and on her hands, but Wanda, knowing her wife, managed to make her feel like she was on the floor again.
A few hours had passed since you entered that operating room, and knowing that it would take a long time for the doctors to stabilize you, Wanda took care of Natasha, cleaning her body and putting her in more comfortable clothes to wait for you sitting in the waiting room. Your mother was able to breathe normally now, even though the tears hadn't stopped falling from both of their faces. Natasha felt her body want to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her, not when you were fighting for your life in the next room.
Wanda runs her hand affectionately through Natasha's red hair that reminded her of your own. Her head on her shoulder as she felt her wife's body relax but then become rigid again, but even if Maximoff tried, she wouldn't be able to make Natasha relax. "Remember that time Y/n fell down the slide and broke her arm? She didn't even cry." Wanda spoke so softly that any outsider who saw it would think she wasn't as nervous as her wife.
"Yeah... she even asked you to break her arm with your magic so she could put a cast on it again so she could draw on it." Natasha laughs remembering when you were seven years old, you were probably the happiest child in the world.
"She's so strong," Wanda murmurs as she presses a kiss to Natasha's red hair and she closes her eyes taking a deep breath. "I know she'll make it out of this."
And when Maximoff stopped talking, one of the doctors who was participating in your surgery enters the room. Natasha was now more than awake, her body jumping up towards the man in the white coat. Wanda doesn't take long to join her either, rambling questions to the doctor over and over again. "Everything went well in the surgery to remove the bullet from Y/n's body, despite the heavy blood loss." Romanoff holds her wife's hand while listening to him talk about your conditions, squeezing it every time she feels like her heart is going to come out of her mouth. "Unfortunately, due to the severe injuries to her head, she was caused a brain injury called a concussion."
"Oh, God. She's going to be okay, isn't she?"
"Don't worry, Mrs. Maximoff. Concussion is a very common thing for people to experience and usually with a few weeks of medical treatment and rest she will feel well again." The two women were finally able to take a deep breath without feeling that nervousness in their chests. "You just need to pay attention to some symptoms she may have, such as headache, mental confusion, sometimes memory loss, nausea, vomiting, excessive fatigue and some other things that you will probably notice. With the treatment I am sure that Y/n will recover much better.”
Despite all these things you might feel, they were relieved that you were okay. And they knew you would recover quickly, your genes coming from Natasha and Wanda weren't just anyone, you were strong and everyone knew it. And even if they thought that way, nothing would prepare them for seeing you lying on the stretcher. Your body was so fragile and small there, your eyes looked so tired despite being closed and the cuts on your face didn't help. The tubes coming out of your body weren't the prettiest, but it was what was helping you survive at that moment.
"My baby girl..." Wanda stroked your hair as she looked at you now slightly pale face. Her comforting touch would make you lean against her even more if you were awake, but that wouldn't be possible at the moment. 
Natasha remained a little distant compared to Maximoff. She was scared, scared that if she made any move you would get hurt again, because in the redhead's mind everything that had happened was her fault. If she had checked to see if the area really was clean, if she had warned you as quickly as possible so you could get out of there, if she had arrived on time. "Nat?" Wanda knew what she was thinking, what she felt was written on the ex-assassin's face, and her wife had been with her for enough years to know what that mind was thinking.
In a few moments, Romanoff's body was enveloped in Wanda's affectionate and comforting embrace, who gently moved from side to side, holding her head against her shoulder while leaving a chaste kiss on her hair. Natasha knew that hug from anywhere, the hug that said everything was okay, that everything would fall into place again. Sometimes it took more than a hug for her to feel that, but sometimes she knew Wanda was right. "I w-want a hug too." Your hoarse voice was present at the scene, making your mothers quickly separate from each other.
"Y/n, my god! You scared me so much, don't ever do that again-"
"Wands, calm down, don't give her any more headaches." You chuckle along with your mother Natasha who was now holding your wife's hand. They walk towards your stretcher seeing that you still seemed to be a little disoriented with everything that happened, but even so you still had a smile on your face for them.
"How are you feeling, my love?" Wanda again made the same affectionate gestures to you as she sat next to you, feeling your body relax at her touch, but this time, you are awake enough to feel it.
"Headache and feeling like I might throw up at any moment."
"Ew." Natasha complains in a funny tone making you want to laugh at that moment, but having a headache would make things even worse. Romanoff still had an apprehensive tone on her face, maybe it was the guilt she felt she had or maybe it was seeing you in that place, with bruises everywhere. 
"You aren't hurt, are you, Mom?" Even though you almost died with a gunshot wound to your body and a brain injury, it was obvious that you would care about others, especially if it was one of your mothers.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me, sweetheart." Natasha moved a little closer to you, leaving a kiss on your forehead that was welcomed with a smile on your face. "I was so worried about you." She murmurs as Wanda places one of her hands on her wife's thigh, making small circles on it.
"I'm fine now, Mom. Thanks for going to save me." You put a small smile on your face in a funny way, trying to ease the tension of the hospital room.
"You know I'll always be here for whatever you need." Natasha wasn't just referring to helping you save yourself from physical violence, but she was also referring to helping you when you have any problems. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? She will be there. Do you need help completing a task? Don't worry, you know she won't take a minute to come to you. Problems with girls or guys? She will love telling you how she really knew the love of her life. 
In those times when something difficult happened, your mothers knew how to comfort and help you. You had an unbreakable bond and that always warmed your heart. Realizing that you had people who more than cared about you by your side was incredible. Maybe for some other people it was strange to have two mothers, but you didn't care, because for you, it was an indescribable magic.
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hisui-dreamer · 10 months
Note
CONGRATS ON 1K RINNAAAA :((( YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MOOTS EVER AND ITS MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND PROUD THAT YOU HIT THIS MILESTONE!! THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF THE MOST WARM AND WELCOMING PEOPLE IVE MET IN THIS FANDOM <33 YOURE SUCH A GIFT ITS INSANE!!!!!
IM SURE THIS DOESNT SURPRISE YOU BUT!!! for the 1k event i was thinking soulmate au with azul (HEHE) except its the doodle one? LIKE WHERE YOU DOODLE ON YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOULMATES GETS THE SAME MARKINGS YK
and i have a habit of doodling sea creatures like octopi and morays on my arms and hands so i think it'd be cute for him to like, take his gloves off one day and just see a little eel on the back of his hand :((( squishy guy <3333
headcanons or a drabble is totally fine, whichever one is easier for you!!!! thank you for easing me into this fandom :(( i will never be able to thank you enough for making my anxious ass WAY less nervous <3 and no pressure if this doesnt inspire you ofc hehe you're never obligated to write anything !!! :D
the doodles that drew us together
Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x gn!reader
Synopsis: Azul thought all his life he didn't have a soulmate...
Tags: soulmates au (doodling), reader is yuu, fluff, comfort, reader likes sea creatures, bot proofread
Word count: 591
Notes: aubbie thank you so much!!! I'm so glad we became moots, you're one of my closest friends and everything I see something azul related I think of you haha! I hope you'll enjoy this azul soulmate au ♪⁠ヽ⁠(⁠・⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠・⁠ゞ⁠)
Masterlist
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Azul had been fascinated by the idea of soulmates as a young mer
it was something that gave him hope, that despite all the other mean mers who would make fun of him, there was someone out there who would understand him and love him
and so he kept drawing on his arm, doodles of shells and other fish that caught his eye
but there wasn't any response.
maybe his doodles were too ugly and his soulmate didn't like them?
and so he learned to draw better, drawing again and again, hoping he would get a response
but still not a single mark would appear on him
it had been a tough blow to him, but he eventually accepted that he didn't have a soulmate
if he was going to be alone for all his life, then he had to take care of himself (because nobody would)
he became super greedy and selfish, always prioritising himself and his materialistic needs
although he also had a friendship with the tweels, he really only befriended them because they could help him out (but he did get attached to them over time)
and so, he opened the mostro lounge and became the sly businessman that we all know
on the first day of his second year, as he was going over documents after closing the lounge, he felt a slight tingle in his hand
Azul's eyebrow rose in response to an unexpected sensation. A peculiar warmth, like a gentle caress, emanated from the back of his gloved hand. Intrigued, he swiftly removed his gloves, revealing smooth, pale skin. A gasp of astonishment escaped his lips as his eyes fell upon a minuscule masterpiece, a tiny, adorable octopus delicately inked in pen.
"Is this...real?" Azul murmured, his voice tinged with disbelief. A surge of hope surged through his entire being, dispelling the weight that had burdened him for far too long.
With a trembling hand, he grasped his own pen and cautiously began to sketch his own octopus upon his wrist, with one tentacle reaching out, holding hands with your octopus.
And he can't stop he smile that graces his lips when a little heart appears between the two octopi.
What a hectic day it had been! For a magicless student to arrive in NRC and for him to finally connect with his soulmate!
...?
Oh. Azul had to speak to said magicless student as soon as possible.
when the two of you start being a couple, Azul does everything and anything for you
when you're in exams and your nervously doodling sea creatures, he'll draw some flowers nearby to help calm you down
no he doesn't help you cheat by writing you the answers, he's already given you the perfect study materials, you shoud put in some effort too
he gets jealous if you draw other sea creatures too much though, especially moray eels
he lets you work at the lounge with a very high pay, making sure you're not working too hard, and always offers to tutor you if you're struggling
his soulmate had to go to a different world just to find him, you'll be sure he helps to settle in and hopefully never leave again
Insert clingy octopus wrapping his tentacles all around you because he can't bare to let you go
when you have dates and appointments, he'll help remind you by writing on his arm
this man has waited for you his entire life, he's ready to lay the world down at your feet if you ask him to
Masterlist
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boydepartment · 4 months
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can i request a comfort fic? i jus got bodyshamed cuz like im kinda skinny and im not in the best mood. Ni-Ki from enhypen pls :((
cold- nishimura riki x reader
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a/n: usually i am not this specific with comfort fics however, i have experience going through this and i can write this properly. since i know how this feels first hand i can write this confidently. with comfort fics i really try my hardest to bring comfort and sometimes specific scenarios like this can get a little sticky. i really hope this helps you and i hope you’re okay. ive been body shamed many times throughout my life for being too big and too small, so i understand. lmk if you need anything anon my inbox is always open to you <3
warnings- angst to comfort, reader being body shamed, talk about difficultly to gain weight, talk about mental health, riki being kind. skinny reader.
wc- 300-500
MASTERLIST
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your body laid curled up in your blankets, and tangled in your layered clothing. it was colder weather and to everyone else doing this would be pretty standard practice given the circumstances.
regardless of that fact, your main reason to bundle up was not due to the cold.
you were always cold, that was something you could put up with.
what you couldn’t put up with was the sly comments people would make about you unprovoked. even if provoked the comments that were made about you previously were extremely messed up and damaging.
you felt yourself sigh, you knew it was okay to be sensitive to this, it was human. but it really did hurt, there was no reason for anyone to comment on anyone’s body for ANY reason. however people thought they could with you. your friends thought they could with you.
you flipped over not hearing your boyfriend arrive at your home, he was supposed to come over today but you had texted him to cancel because you ‘weren’t feeling well.’ anymore. you didn’t think he would be coming over.
“you cold my love?” you heard a chuckle and you just hummed back. not in the mood for his games. and not in the mood to even become startled that he was in your home.
“i’m sorry were you asleep?” riki’s voice was soft as he walked over to the couch and laid down next to you. your body tensed up and he noticed this.
it made him scared he did something wrong.
“are you okay?” he asked, wanting to put his hand on your head and gently pat. but opting not to, not wanting to make you more uncomfortable than what he was reading from your face.
“i texted you saying i wasn’t feeling well…” you mumbled behind your blanket.
riki frowned, “i’m sorry… do you want or need anything? i didn’t see my texts otherwise i would’ve stopped by and picked you up something warm to drink.” you felt him get under the blanket, you felt yourself become nervous.
quickly you flipped over, your back facing him and you curled up a bit. taking some of the blanket with you.
he went to snake his hands around your waist as he was used to do but you panicked and moved his hands away, “don’t, please…”
the comments about you being too thin were getting to you and you didn’t want riki to even touch your body. the fear setting in that he was going to feel a rough edge or a part of your body where you were more bony than not. you were scared it was going to disgust him or freak him out. your friends were hard to believe that your boyfriend genuinely liked holding you. you could still hear their comments.
riki felt his mouth open a bit in shock, “did i do something?”
this hurt you more, he didn’t do anything, you felt like you did something wrong.
“no… i just- i don’t feel well.” your voice was wavering and it was making you stressed, if you even thought to rub your eyes you’d have to see your hands. you didn’t want to see any part of your body right now. you felt trapped, almost like you wanted to rip your skin off and just start over.
“what’s wrong… y/n please… communication is really important especially since we’re young… i don’t want to fuck this up please…” at this point riki was begging you to say something. he was stressed that he did something to you that he didn’t mean. riki couldn’t recall anything that he did. i mean he accidentally ripped your favorite pillow while you two were play fighting last week but you were laughing when the stuffing started going everywhere.
you flipped over, not wanting to torture him, “you didn’t do anything. i just went back to visit some friends and they made comments about my body.” your voice was shaky, almost panicking. because this is where a lot of people would say-
‘you’re thin why would it matter?’
‘people wish they had your body.’
‘you should be thankful that’s what they’re saying.’
you had experience of people saying that to you when you felt insecure of the bonier parts of your body. you learned quickly to suck it up, but it still hurt. and you constantly tried to gain weight. it was a difficult battle, you want to do it healthily however it’s a slow process that’s not even promised.
you couldn’t help your body and it was too taboo to share your insecurities. that’s what you learned that’s what you became accustomed to. it stung even more that people commented on your body now even without you saying something first. you felt violated.
riki felt his brows contort, he was rightfully pissed, “what were they saying?” he tried to find your hands under the blanket and did. for the first time in awhile, they were warm. you let him hold a small part of you and that relaxed him.
“i don’t want to talk about it anymore…” you mumbled more into the blanket, scared of what he was going to say. scared that if you opened up more, he’d try to hold you. that he was going to hate holding you, or finding it a chore.
“no one should be making comments on your body like that. whatever they said- clearly it effected you… and no one has the right to comment on your body. was what they were saying unprompted?” his voice was soft but firm. wanting to listen to what happened. wanting to comfort you properly.
“yes… it was unprompted and i froze up… i didn’t know how to respond to what they were saying.”
because genuinely how the fuck were you supposed to respond?
riki breathed in angrily, he was trying to properly calculate the situation and how to answer. he didn’t want to mess up or accidentally say something that could hurt you more, “i would take a break from them for a bit… maybe if you’re comfortable communicate how-“
“NO.” you practically jumped up, “they’re just going to tell me i shouldn’t be complaining and they’re totally gonna blow me off like my feelings don’t matter!”
riki’s eyes widened as he watched you settle back down, his hand rubbing yours gently, like you’d break, “okay my love… then you don’t have to… then i would just give myself a break from them okay? i’m not trying to sound like i’m isolating you either but you know your feelings matter to me. you matter to me. i will always listen…”
you nodded, he felt his heart breaking a bit when he saw a tear fall from your face. riki quickly used one of his hands to wipe your tears. you put your face more into his palm.
“when you hold me… does it bother you?” your voice was quiet, “like do i hurt you or do you feel uncomfortable?”
what the fuck did they say to you? that was the only thing that was going through riki’s head but he was smart enough to pick out the hints and signs. that was enough for him.
your friends must’ve pointed out how thin you are, he remembered you trying to gain weight and struggling to. he remembered that specific mental breakdown you had and felt so mad that your friends would just say things without thinking.
“you never bother me…” carefully he finally pulled you closer to him and held you, “my favorite thing to do is be around you and hold you… that’s not going to change okay? no matter what.”
you nodded, “i’m sorry… i didn’t mean to shut you out i was just scared… and i didn’t want you to think i was weird for getting upset about this.”
riki shook his head no, “don’t be scared to talk to me especially about stuff like this, i understand everything okay? so please don’t be scared. i know how it feels and im always going to be here to help you.”
“thank you…” you held him closer to you, riki’s hand going to your head and patting softly. his embrace was warm and you were comfortably wrapped in the blankets together. the cold weather long forgotten, the cold, harsh words that were said to you were slowly being healed, and you were starting to feel content. riki felt you relax and finally relaxed himself. he was always going to be here to help, because he loves you. those cold words people said to you weren’t going to change anything, whether you told him the specific words or not.
he loves you.
“i love you… thank you again…” your breathing was starting to slow, you were starting to fall asleep now that the war in your head was starting to die down.
“i love you more…”
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fuhlensworld · 5 months
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୨⎯ Red waves ⎯୧
Pelle ohlin x Reader
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・
Tw:period oral,AFAB! Reader,cursing,hair pulling,pet names, reader being in pain from cramps,oral fem receiving,slight fluff,slight cnc, Dom!pelle
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.
Laying in bed,you wiped little tears off your face, your cramps had been so painful and your boyfriend Pelle had been gone all day with the band working on their new song. You were curled up in your favorite fuzzy blanket, the stuffed animal Pelle had bought you in hand,when you heard the door open and your boyfriend call out to you.
“Sweetheart I’m home dude varg was getting on my last fucking nerve tod- baby? Oh baby are you okay?” He says as he walks into the room and sees you a crying mess in your shared bed.
“Y yeah m’just having really bad cramps”
You say as you sniffle and look at him with glossy eyes.
“Aww my poor baby” he says as he pulls you in for a hug,
“You know what would make you feel better” he says with a smirk on his face
You assumed he meant a nice movie and a cuddle sesh but oh we’re you wrong.
“What?” You say as you move to get in a more comfortable position
“If I gave you some head” he says as he rubs your tummy
“Pelle no! Thats nasty im not gonna let you give me h head when I’m on my period!” You said to him, even though some head sounded good right now you never had it when you were on your period so you were unsure.
“Oh baby but I wasn’t asking you” he cooed as he pulled the blanket off of your body and got on top of you and started to plant sweet but firm kisses along your jawline moving down to your neck.
“Fuck Pelle please let’s just do something else” you pleaded with him, it’s not that you didn’t want him to eat you out, you were just embarrassed,what if he was grossed out?
“Shhh baby let me make you feel good you’ll like it I promise,also you don’t really have a choice now do you?” He let out a light chuckle before pulling your pants and panties down,you hid your face in embarrassment but he didn’t care he started kisses your thighs and finally moved his face right at your pussy, he let out a groan as he kicked a stripe from your entrance all the way to your swollen clit.
“F-fuck Pelle please oh my god”
You moaned out forgetting about ever feeling embarrassed in the first place, “that’s right baby just relax, god you taste so damn good” he said diving right back into you, after he spent some time licking your entrance he focused on your aching clit,sucking and giving it little kitten licks.
After some time you felt that knot of pleasure in your tummy coming undone and you grabbed onto his hair and grinder your hips against his face, desperate for more
“Fuck Pelle im gonna cum please please” you moaned out as he gripped into your hips tighter,that’s definitely gonna leave a bruise. Finally the cord snapped and you screamed Pelle’s name as he gave your pussy tiny kitten licks to help you come down from your high.
“You did so good baby” he says as he comes up to kiss you, you didn’t care that he had your blood all over his face, you just wanted to taste him.
You made out with him heavily as he gripped your hair trying to pull you in closer.
“I love you baby” he said as he peppered kisses all over your face
“I love you too now let’s clean this blood off” you said with a light chuckle.
The rest of the night was filled with cuddles and kisses from Pelle!
An:AHH THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT SORRY THIS KNE TOOK SO LONG IVE BEEN BUSY, FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANYTHING!!!
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