#for the record i have decided i cant assume what others think but i can control my own actions

[girlsexbattle2]

weve come full circle:

is it some fucked up lineage from a savior complex or am i actually helping?

if someone wants to kill themselves do you stop them? what about thier autonomy? who are you to make thier entire existence a hostage situation? at what point do personal virtues hit the deck when it comes to keeping someone alive? if you are a person in power, authority or otherwise, and a person tells you they want to die, would it be murder to hand them the knife? emotionally yes it is!!! they want to hurt themselves and you just enabled them!! what if you give them the whole spiel about how you love them and other people love them, Then give them the means to kill themselves, is it murder? is the 'people love you' card inherently manipulative cause you are saying how *your* life will be effected not thiers. youre, in thier eyes, more concerned about how you feel about it, not them. (who are you to tell them how they {will} feel about it?)

lets say you institutionalize them. what has that done? youve just shown the person that they are incapable of making thier own decisions. or when ever *you* feel they expressed something inappropriate they will be punished.

lets flip things around a bit

lets say from a young age you were told your highly empathetic. that you have the power ('you and only you' is what you hear) to help others. someone casually mentions something thats bothers them. it seems serious but they wont let you dig deeper*. from experience you generalize this going two ways 1.) they seem really stressed about it. ill stay out of it 2.) they are talking themselves into thinking everything is already over. you need to intervene.

*(you dont interrupt they keep taling and talking and talking about how its overwhelmingly getting worse. you interrupted a couple days later they say its none ya/ theyre exaggerating/ you miss heard/ etc)

Why *you*. why do YOU know more about thisr situation then they do? why are you more capable of making a well rounded decision about something that doesnt effect you even remotely.

they keep saying theres only one way out of this. but thats just how people talk these days. if you take it seriously and tell someone with authority, what the fuck will they do? something more jurasstic and ineffective. they are now more in harms way then ever before. you do nothing and you watch your friend wither away.

what value does being a shoulder to cry on hold?

[cupoftaae]

Hate To Love You (PJM Drabble )

Summary- you and your ex husband, Yoongi, reunited at one of your mutual friends party. You haven’t spoken to him in years in resentment for his behavior towards you and assumed he despised you just as much, only to find out it’s actually the opposite, despite you being ready to move on when someone unexpectedly shows up….your best friend.

warnings- well its basically a friend hookup thing, minor smut (oral female receiving) (no penetration) sexual tension, swearing, alcohol, mentions of divorce and cheating, angst, sadness

rating- 18+

It was a stupid argument, really

You never guessed it would spark the conversation that would months later be the result of your divorce with Yoongi.

"you are just always at work, and I understand-"

"you cant get upset with me for working, y/n, who the hell would pay for all the bills?" he scoffed, sitting at the desk in his recording studio.

taken back, you decided to defend yourself against your husbands sudden coldness.

"I work too, thank you very much"

"you work two days a week in an office"

"so?" you stood, beginning to grow annoyed "I still make money and pay for half the shit we own"

He laughed, seemingly amused at your efforts, "you dont have the pressure to make said money, y/n, and plus, our jobs, our lives arent...."

"arent what? yoongi?"

He sighed, "dont you have higher aspirations for yourself? rather than working twice a week?" he looked over, quick to defend his statement before you flipped out,

"I know you work, y/n, but you cant compare our schedules....I hope you see what im trying to say?"

Scoffing, you paced around, you felt insulted. You didnt have the pressures of being a musician, sure, however you still had to take on the pressures of being a woman, wife, the maid, the chef, the doggy daycare worker, the therapist, etc etc because the list can go on for hours

You sensed the conversation took a turn in a direction you had not been aiming for, your objective was to kindly seek more time off with your husband considering your 4 year anniversary was coming up, and he took it and did a 360.

It didnt get better, either, because this exact conversation would end up becoming the topic every time you argued, and in a short amount of time it quickly got heated.

"Yeah, you are probably off somewhere between her legs, because wouldnt you fucking love that yoongi??" you threw your water bottle at him as he stood at the doorway of your bedroom, he watched you intensely

"I told you, I had to stay late tonight, I fucking texted!" he defended

"you are telling me you were in that fucking office until 3am? okay..."

He brushed his hair back in disbelief, "yes, if you dont believe me, text hoseok"

"Let me see your phone then" you spoke up after a few moments

"what?" he scoffed

"phone, let me see it"

".....y/n, you dont trust me?" he seemed genuinely upset at this, putting his guard down

"no, I dont"

"that girl who works as an intern has never even spoken to me, you think im off having sex with her??" he snapped

You shrugged, keeping your arms crossed, "I dont really know what to think anymore yoongi, you keep disappointing me, we keep disappointing each other, it seems."

He glared at you, trying to read your face, you were serious. "well then what are we doing this for?"

You bit the inside of your cheek and shrugged again, shaking your head and looking down, "I dont know."

and thats exactly how one week later, you showed up at his job with the divorce papers, slamming them on his desk silently.

And thats what leads us here tonight, at Namjoons house party exactly a year and a half later.

The divorce was never finalized, never made legal, he put it off until you threw your hands up and moved out, and if anyone asked- you were a divorced woman, no long a Min.

You swore you would never trust him again, never him creep back into your life in the same way he always tried. you were done, over him, even.

But God, did it strike the deepest nerve in your system when you saw him sitting on the couch, his arm draped around some other girls waist while he chatted with friends.

You watched, leaning against some crowded doorway with a half drunk cup of liquor in your hand.

"bored?"

you looked to your left to see your friend Jimin pop up next to you, almost scaring you.

"jesus, jimin" you sighed, turning your body away from yoongi to look at the boy in front of you.

"seems like you are not having fun, we can change that" he smiles and holds up another expensive bottle of alcohol, making you groan.

"rather not have a hangover tomorrow" you frowned and looked back at yoongi, Jimin noticed.

"hey, whos that hes with?" he asked, following your gaze to the crowded couch in the other room.

"no idea..." you exhale, turning back to jimin with a sad look.

"oh my god" he froze

"what?"

"dont tell me"

you tilted your head in confusion "tell you what?"

He began to smile, laughing almost "you are jealoussss"

You scoffed, nudging his shoulder "no-im not. we arent married anymore I dont give a shit what he does"

"seems like you do, though" he smirked

your face fell into your hands before shoving him teasingly, something that caught yoongi's eyes as he gazed across the room at your back facing him. You were talking to another guy.

"I know you guys arent even divorced legally" he whispered

"what? yes we are!"

"yoongi spilled the beans...no you arent"

You frowned, crossing your arms. "that motherfucker."

"he was drunk and was going on a whole tangent about how he refused to sign the papers and what not...tried to like, push it back as much as he could"

You shook your head "when was this?"

"like a week ago, when I mentioned you would be at the party"

"Jimin we havent even talked in over a year....pretty sure he blocked me, why the hell would he care?"

He shrugged and looked back at the couch, surprised to see Yoongi looking already at the two of you.

"I dont know...but something tells me he cares a lot more than you think"

"dont be cryptic and ominous" you rolled your eyes, "what do you know that I dont? what did he tell you? be honest" you pleaded

"listen" he half smiled, "all im saying is that you two had known eachother for 8 years before getting married, then you were together for 4 more years, I dont think that kind of connection suddenly falters you know?"

"no-I dont know, I know nothing at all"

"ok well you are impossible to talk to, also- you suck at taking hints" jimin teased before turning to walk away, "oh, and by the way, hes been staring at you for the past few minutes"

You froze and turned your body slowly, jumping when you realized Yoongi had gotten up from his distant seat, and was now right behind you.

"holy fuck" you gasped, putting a hand over your heart.

He didnt say anything, his casual blank emotion plastered over his face as his hands fell into his pockets. "hi" he mumbled

"hello?" you scoffed, "you scared the shit out of me to say 'hi'?"

he slightly smiled, "yes"

you glared at him before walking past, directing yourself to the kitchen, he followed behind, unable to help his gaze trail from your back, down to your ass-the dress you chose to wear tonight definitely suited your figure.

"why are you following me? are you lost?" you sarcastically mumbled, turning away to grab some of the crackers that were next to the snack trays, softly nibbling onto them.

"what were you and jimin talking about?"

"oh please" you laughed, turning to see him, "this is why you are talking to me? for the first time in a year? to discuss jimin?"

he nods.

"hes in the other room, heard he is single, your hair is nice-you might have a chance" you joked coldly, wishing you could run away right now.

he released an airy laugh, leaning against the counter as he waited for the random person in the room to leave before speaking, "You look nice"

You raised an eyebrow, "...thanks...you do too i guess?"

"im just complimenting you, didnt have any mal intent behind it" he gazed at you "its not like we are strangers, you know"

"i know" you mumbled, continuing to eat the dry ass crackers.

He sighed and looked around the kitchen, grabbing a drink for himself.

"dont you have some girl to entertain, why are you sitting in here with me?"

He laughed, "you have not changed at all"

"whats that mean?" you asked defensively

"i mean, we havent spoken in so long and you still only care about if other girls are getting into my pants" he smirked, taking a sip of his drink.

son of a bitch.

"I dont care! also-dont need to know!" you pressed your lips together tightly.

He sat silently, watching you

"stop staring at me, freak" you sighed, knowing you could just walk away but somehow didnt choose to.

"you know your mouth is gonna get dry from all those crackers" he spoke calmly.

"i can handle my own, thank you" you spoke, putting down the stack of crackers in your hand.

He smirked and walked over, tipping your chin up to press his cup of alcohol to your lips, giving you a sip, "there you go"

You stared wide eyed at him before taking a step back, wiping your mouth. "what do you think youre doing?" you bit

“Socializing. It’s a party, no?” He raised a brow, pulling back a little

“Go socialize somewhere else, you’re in my personal bubble” you fixed your hair and tried to calm your breathing before once more pushing past him, walking into the other room.

He snickered and took another shot before catching one of his friends and striking up a conversation.

“How’d it go?” Jimin suddenly popped up next to you, scaring you again.

“You need a fucking bell”

“Sorry” he giggled, standing next to you against the wall.

“Literally nothing happened, he is still the same snappy person he’s always been” you spoke, eyes trailing over across the room to see yoongi speaking with his friends. The purple lighting of the party reflected onto his long black hair and pale skin, no one could deny his beauty, especially when he smiled.

Jimin noticed, a softer smile peaking up onto his lips, “do you want me to go speak to him for you?”

You immediately shook your head, crossing your arms as you tried to change your glances at someone else, eyes shooting onto Nayeon who was 2 seconds away from making out with jungkook.

“Get a room” you whisper

Jimin laughed, “rather quick to the point”

“Jimin shut up” you whined, “I wasn’t talking about you! I was talking about-“

“Wait” he perked

“What??”

Jimin giggled mischievously and looked back at yoongi before looking back at you, “just be honest, you still have feelings for him, huh?”

“No!”

He raised his eyebrows

“Jimin-“

“Admit it! It’s okay!”

You sigh and cover your face, “jimin….of course I do….I just can’t stand who he is now. I fell in love with the old him, before everything came crashing down…I have to remember that’s not him anymore”

He smiled gently, rubbing your shoulder “he has changed”

“No he hasn’t, and it took less than 5 minutes of banter to figure that out”

“Y/n, he still….” He stopped himself from talking, realizing it might not be his place to say.

“What? He still what?” You inquired

“Nothing…”

“Jimin.”

“He may or may not have feelings im not sure I can’t remember”

Your eyes widened before relaxing “yeah no, he was flirting with other girls like a few minutes ago”

“Mmm….maybe he was trying to get you jealous”

You rolled your eyes at his words

“I saw we give payback”

“What….?”

He smirked, “cmon, pretend to be up all on me or something, he’s looking, he will get jealous”

You laughed, “I don’t think he will believe the fact that I’m interested in you”

He pretended to be offended

“Hey, you’re cute but we are friends and have been since diapers, I don’t see us like-“

“God you complicate everything, just…follow me” Jimin sighed, taking your hand and throwing yoongi a quick glance before leading you up the stairway behind you.

You followed along, trying to see what Yoongi’s reaction was as you crawled upstairs, he seemed annoyed, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

Jimin led us into a room and shut the door, a smile on his face as he searched for the light switch.

“It’s dark” you whispered, “we didn’t actually have to hide in the room you know, we could have just sat in the hallway until he came up for me”

“Whatever, if we are playing the part we do it right” he mumbled, still scanning the wall with his hands trying to find the switch. “I can’t find it”

“Whatever” you huffed, sitting behind the door and tucking your knees to your chest. You don’t know who’s room your in, the only light noticeable is the moons reflection peaking in from the windows.

“You ok?” He whispered, finding a spot next to you.

“I don’t know” you shrugged, “I just….wish I never showed up to this party, and I wish you never told me yoongi still has feelings for me”

He felt suddenly guilty, “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, I think …despite me still having ‘feelings’ for him, I just need to be away from yoongi. I fell in love with him years ago, he was so different and family oriented….he has changed so much and I can’t submit myself to that just because it’s him, and I’m attached”

He nodded, taking your hand “I understand”

You tried to even your breaths in fear of crying, “he treated me badly, and I did the same to him, we don’t work together and I refuse to try again just because he thinks it’ll be good for us”

“That’s reasonable, y/n, you can make your own decisions, im sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable situation”

“It’s not your fault Jimin, if you weren’t here I wouldn’t have even come to this dumb party anyways” you slightly smile

“Hey, I’m always here for you” he raised his hand in a fist bump, where you happily reciprocated.

“Thank you, I’m here for you too Jimin”

He hummed softly “do you wanna go back downstairs?”

You thought for a moment, “not really….I might head home soon anyways, you can go back though”

He shook his head “nah, I’ll chill with you until you decide to go”

“Really? You don’t have to, I know you have many possible girls and boys downstairs for you to entertain” you giggled

“Eh…”

“You’re like the number one flirt, don’t tell me there’s no one at this party that has hookup potential”

He sat for a moment, looking down at his knees as he quickly tried to wipe the smile off his face “mm…nope”

“I doubt that” you snicker

He shrugged, an eyebrow raised as he kicked his feet out straight in front of him, arms in his lap.

“I don’t know if I would hook up with anyone here, yoongis friends are okay looking but the idea of doing it with anyone associated with him just grosses me out”

You both giggled as he nodded “nah that’s reasonable, I almost hooked up with one of his studio friends and then I found out he literally had a girlfriend”

“What!??” You looked at him despite the dark room making it difficult to see his face

He nodded shamelessly “yup” he popped his mouth at the “p”

“It probably would have been bad sex anyway” he couldn’t help but laugh at himself

“I mean yeah, not to talk shit but yoongi and I usually didn’t have the best chemistry with shit like that, must be the studio guy genre” you joked

“Really?? He looks like walking sex, you’re telling me it sucked?” Jimin questioned

“It didn’t suck necessarily but….I don’t know I don’t wanna talk behind his back”

“No no no tell me” Jimin giggled “because a few months before you got “divorced” he was preaching about how good he was to you in the bedroom”

“He was discussing me in front of all his male friends?….”

“Nothing graphic, that’s all he said is that he knew how to satisfy a girl” he shrugged in defense

You rolled your eyes “yeah….sure yoongi.”

Jimin laughed

“He…god this is embarrassing…I wouldn’t even finish most times, and I had to fake it”

“No way” he seemed genuinely shocked

“Yeah, maybe I faked it a little too good, striked his ego up and shit” you giggled, hiding your face.

“So you’ve never had an orgasm?”

“Oh I’ve had a few, but like it was always 50/50, I never knew if it was gonna be a good time or not you know”

He nodded, taking in the information as you spoke.

“But whatever..” you sighed, leaning your head against the door. “We should probably head downstairs”

He sighed, looking at you as you began to stand to your feet, he stood too. “We don’t have too”

“Well what else is there to do?” You giggle “we can’t sit in the room forever, it’s pretty late too”

He looked at you as best he could

“I could give you an orgasm” He calmly spoke like it was no big deal

Your eyes shot wide open, “w-what??”

He shrugged, silently

“What did you say?” Your voice was startled

“ I said I could give you an orgasm, if you want one”

“Um….Jimin you are my friend” you whispered

“I know, I just feel bad after hearing about the yoongi thing, and I want to make it up for you”

You tried to not freak out at the fact your best friend calmly asked if he could make you cum.

You bit your lip, “uh…”

“We don’t have to do anything” he gently waved his hand “it’s just a sudden horny suggestion”

You softly giggled, looking at your feet.

“Wouldn’t it be kinda, I don’t know, odd?”

“Not really I guess, I mean I always thought you were hot”

You blushed, feeling suddenly overwhelmingly shy.

“Do you think I’m attractive?”

You bit your lip nervously.

It would be a lie to say you’ve never thought about Jimin like this, which is why it’s such a shock that it was randomly happening in some random persons bedroom at Namjoons party.

“Yes” you breathed out

Jimin smiled “then…the offer stands” he begins to walk towards the door before you gently hold his arm and stop him.

“Jimin”

He looked back, a soft expression as he waited for you to finish speaking.

“Make me forget” you whispered after a few silent moments, your faces close together as he began to smile slightly.

“Are you sure?” His voice was low and quiet

You nod slowly

“We don’t have to, you seemed unsu-”

“I’m sure” you began, “I’m just kinda in shock that it’s actually happening”

He giggled “you’re cute…come here” he gently held your hips in his hands, your heart racing faster than it ever has as he pushed you softly against the door.

Jimin finger raised to his mouth, “quiet, mm?”

You nod, already feeling breathless before his lips suddenly crash into yours, taking any air out of your lungs.

Your hands flew to his hair, pressing him against you as much as possible. “Mm” he moaned against your lips, the vibrations sending straight to your core.

He didn’t fail to notice your red, blushed face even in such a dark room. “You okay” he quietly panted, pulling back a little

“I-I’m okay, that was nice”

“Good” he laughed, returning his lips to yours for a quick peck before trailing down your jaw and neck, so slowly that you felt you were going to explode.

He had you trapped against the door and his body, Jimins warmth only stimulating you more.

“This okay..?” He whispered, pulling his lips away from your cleavage as he fell to his knees, arms softly trailing your sides.

“Yes jimin, it’s okay”

“You trust me?”

“Mm” you nod, feeling his fingers at the hem of your dress, thighs tingling. “I trust you”

With that- jimin gently folded up the bottom half of your dress, exposing your laced red underwear, he felt prideful in seeing the slight wet mark that had dampened them. He went against mentioning it in fear of embarrassing you, rather instead keeping the image in his head that he was able to do such thing to you.

“I can take these off? They are so pretty” he whispered, looking back up at you

“Yeah you can….” You bit your bottom lip, trembling slightly

His fingers delicately hooked into the hem of your underwear, slowly pulling them down while making sure you were still okay with his actions.

“Tell me to stop and I will, okay baby?”

The pet name had you almost moaning, you found the strength to nod, “o-okay”

“God….so perfect” you mumbled to himself once he caught a glance of your dripping core, he’s never seen anything like it.

Jimin took a breath after tossing your underwear to the side, his hands climbing up your thighs as he encouraged you to part them for him, his two fingers gently exploring your folds, pressing against your clit, making you gasp.

“Oh-” you pressed your lips together and leaned your head back against the door behind you, knowing that there are possible people on the other side who might hear.

He was in amazement at how wet you were, the soft squelch sound was the only audible noise in the entire room, making your cheeks red.

You tried to thrust your hips a little to silently plea for what you wanted, his eyes raised up to you

“Use your voice, tell me what you need”

“Jimin….” You whispered, his fingers still slowly rubbing your bud. “Your m- ah…your mouth please”

You wanted to fall into the floor as you heard how needy your voice had become for your friend, but one look at his shit eating grin and suddenly you reminded yourself he was enjoying this just as much as you.

“Okay baby, remember, be quiet yeah?”

You nod and close your eyes, preparing for what was to come.

The moment you felt jimins plump lips reach your core, your arched your back away from the door, moaning softly “oh shit, jimin” a hand reached down to rest atop his head.

“Mm taste so good” his voice was pressed against you, the vibration only stimulating you more. “Here baby” he pulled away a little, helping you lift a leg and throw it over his shoulder so you hadn’t lost your balance while standing.

His tongue resumed to your clit, sucking and swiping through the wet folds, savoring the flavor that was you

“Oh…fuck jimin!!” You whined, throwing a hand over your mouth as you squeezed your eyes shut, “it’s so good”

Jimin brought up the hand that wasn’t holding your leg, tracing it up your thigh before pressing a finger into you, the wetness making it easy for him to slide in.

He groaned, “oh shit”

Your mouth had fallen into a small o shape, the pressure of his one finger turned into two, and before you knew it, he was curling them upwards and around, searching for your g-spot

“J-jimin!” Your hand clutched his hair, he only smirked before returning his lips to your swollen clit, sucking vigorously as if it was his sole mission in life to make you cum all over him.

You suddenly moaned out loud, mentally cursing yourself for the volume, he knew in that moment that his skilled fingers had found your frontal wall perfectly, he continued to press into that spot quickly as the wet sound between your legs got louder and messier, tongue lapping at it all.

“Jimin im gonna cum, oh god, oh god” you whispered, squirming your hips a little so you were quite practically riding his face.

He silently encouraged you, the hand holding your leg up began to softly rub into your skin, giving your permission to let go.

“Fuck!!” Your vision suddenly turned white with one last thrust against your g-spot, you tried to balance yourself before you felt jimin help you keep still, “shit” your voice was shaky as the orgasm ripped through your body aggressively, his fingers swiping between you to gather your slick, licking them off in front of you.

“How was that?” He panted, pulling your dress down as he stood

He gave you a moment to catch your breath, “that was….so….oh my god”

He laughed, reaching down to pick up your underwear “I’ll take it was nice?”

“Absolutely”

“Good” he smirked, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “Here” he whispered, giving you back your undergarments.

“No no” you smiled, taking them and putting it into his pant pocket

“Oh?” He raised a cocky brow, “does this mean I qualify for a second round?”

You smirked “do you have plans this weekend?”

“I can clear them” he spoke quickly, making you laugh

“Ok…let’s go before people get suspicious” you whisper, trying to quickly make yourself presentable as if he didn’t just suck the life out from between your legs.

He nodded and helped you fix your dress more before opening the door, both of your eyes following over to yoongi who stood on the other side of the hall, watching you.

“Oh fuck”

[omi-papus]

Concept I pulled out of my ass while trying not to pass out in the micro:

A couple of fanon interpretations of the architects have the idea that they have genetic children, (whether by insemination, something about spores I think, and literally just raw DNA depends on the creator) but they don't give birth, and they don't have partnerships between the parents, they also don't care for their children themselves. That's left to specific qualified caretakers and essentially no member of the equation knows who it is they shared genes with, neither do they care

Now. Present day. No architects save for one are left. Robin and Al-An have been traversing the home world for years and have yet to find sight of any survivors. They find records of what was apparently an evacuation effort to get as many of the children out of the planet as possible, apparently not all were able to be boarded, and they learn that one child was intentionally left behind. The file is too corrupted to get the explanation as to why. They assume said child has already dead, and Al-An is too afraid of facing any more disappointment, but Robin pushes him along, encouraging him to try and find it.

And above all odds they do. Its consciousness is stored in a faulty terminal and it luckily they can get a body for it rather quickly, but due to time and resource availability. They are forced to give it a body that's much smaller. Smaller than even Robin. Al-An claims it to be a couple of decades old, around 98, and to Robin it appears to hold the mannerisms and behavior of a twelve-year-old. It's initially scared and untrusting, and it only begins to trust them somewhat when it seems that they made it a body and that it has nowhere else to go. It can't speak any human languages, being far less apt than Al-An, but it can speak some architect. Both Al-An and it can communicate, and he senses that there'is something it's not telling him. The network is gone, so these two cant read each other's thoughts, so they are stuck as they are. This is why the brooding doesn't actually recognize Al-An in any meaningful way. It can tell he's an older architect, but nothing more. Al-An recognizes this insecurity and, after a long period of trust building, mostly between him and it, Robin being a presence he feels uncomfortable with. Al-An decides to sit it down and explain to it who he really is. Why things are the way that they are, and why he is here now. 

The broodling remains frozen for a second and without warning emediatly attacks him. Al-An has no problem stopping him. And begs for its forgiveness and in the midst of it screaming and crying, falling over its own legs, repeating itself in its rage induced misery, tells him “It is your genes that made them choose to leave me here!” Before running off.

Al-An doesn't understand. He stands there still for way too long, and it's only when Robin shakes him to get out of his stupor, that he manages to whisper.

“That is my offspring…”

He can't face it. Al-An has never even thought about this being before, and cant believe the chances of ever meeting it like this. The guilt swallows him whole as he realizes that his failure was not only known throughout the network, but that they deemed his very being so repulsive that they left an innocent child to die only in the name of culling his bloodline. He does not expect it to forgive him, and he is terrified by the very notion of being a genuen father. He was never meant to be. He doesn't even know who the mother was. It was just something all architects where instructed to do at one point. He's scared and remorseful and yet, even now more than ever before, so desperate to hold it close, to keep it safe and tell it he loves it more than anything. But he can't bring himself to follow after.

And Robin does not plan to let that stand. She's going to get those two back together if it kills her. And she isn't going to tell either of them… but she doesn't want to think about Al-An having a family with somebody else. She deep down wants the kid to accept her too.

[daceydeath]

Hierarchy (Part 6)

Heirachy: a system, especially in a society or organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.

Pairings: Mafia Changbin x Reader, Mafia Felix x Reader Word Count: 4.9k Genre: Mafia AU, friends to lovers, slow burn romance Warnings: 18+, minors dni, swearing (too much), verbal threats, violence, blood, gore, unprotected sex (don't be stupid)

You have always been utterly uninteresting, safely boring as close . You had a normal job, normal friends and the sweetest bestie on the planet but now everything is upside down and that best friend of yours is far more dangerous than you could have ever imagined.

Felix had spent very little time running the unknown number that had been calling you through his software before the calls had started up again, hooked up to the computer he decided to answer it and record whatever the message was hoping it would give more information to them. The first call was just breathing and got him nowhere but after not answering again for an hour he had agitated the caller just enough to get them to threaten you again.

"I know you can hear me you little bitch...they will find you that pathetic boyfriend of yours can't stop me from having you"

Felix waited for the caller to hang up before running the recording through the voice modulation program he had trying to make it sound like a human voice again. Hopefully once he had managed to get it sounding normal again you might be able to recognize who the person on the other end was which would make things easier.

They were all to meet again early the next morning to discuss the conversation Chan had had with Honjoong and discuss what the next moves should be done about it, but Felix was secretly hoping to have his analysis done by then to hopefully put them at an advantage. Seungmin appeared in the doorway quietly taking a seat beside him.

"Can I ask you something honestly?" He started cautiously making Felix raise his eyebrows at him to continue. "Do you feel anything more for her than just friends? Is this going to become as issue later on if they are together?"

"Min, I love her but not romantically she's like a little sister, best friend and annoying older sister all mixed together. I'm assuming that you heard from Hannie, but what happened was nothing more than heightened emotions and a need for comfort" Felix sighed looking to his younger friend. "But I will kill him if he fucks it up again just to save us all from the pain". Seungmin chuckled knowing that they were pretty much all in agreeance that Changbin was killing them all with this stupid back and forth.

"Han didn't tell me anything by the way, so if you need to clear your conscience you might want to tell Changbin not me" He smiled slyly making Felix roll his eyes is faux annoyance.

"I actually came down to tell you to finish for the night, you cant be pulling an overnighter if we have to meet with Ateez later" Seungmin patted his shoulder before leaving him again, he was right Felix would need to be at his best if they were going to be meeting with Ateez later in case shit went sideways.

Morning came faster than it should have in your opinion and with it the awkwardness between you and Changbin that you were not looking forward to. When you first woke up you had thought for a vague moment that it must have been a dream until you opened your eyes and realized you were not in Felix's room you were in Changbin's and he was currently spooning you his face buried in the back of your neck. You hadn't replied to his confession in fact you hadn't spoken to him again after he led you back to his room and made sure you were comfortable before hitting the shower. You had fallen asleep before he emerged which had obviously gotten you into this position. Taking a shaky breath you needed to start thinking hard about what you wanted, you were attracted to Changbin sure, but were you in love with him. You had told him you loved him hundreds of times over the years but you had never meant it romantically, you had fantasized about sleeping with him, him worshipping you for hours upon hours but part of you thought that there was no way you would end up with him actually caring about you in that way.

Changbin's alarm rang out softly and you instantly closed your eyes again pretending to still be asleep when he slid out from beside you to start getting ready for his day. You mumbled and pretended to stir before getting comfortable again hearing him chuckle and coo over you being cute before he shut the bathroom door. Guilt instantly swelled inside you at lying to him but you needed some time to sort your feelings out before you let him know how you felt and what you wanted.

"So...ideas?" Chan began their meeting looking at each one of the members waiting for input.

"We have Mingi's cousin, doc has patched him up so he not in pain and we won't do anything else until you give us an order" Hyunjin started.

"Jihoon and Jonwoon are not useful to Ateez in any way so we could offer to dispose of them as a curtesy if you want" Han finished smiling.

"We have the CCTV of Mingi before and after this all started, and all the surveillance intel he provided to them" Jeongin added.

"We have one guy in house at her office and one guy as a client to cover her office" Seungmin read from his notes.

"I have the voice un modulated now which bubs might recognize" Felix piped up brightly.

"That was fast Lix" Minho whistled impressed with Felix's efforts.

"Well you can play it for her later and hopefully it gives us a bit more to work with meeting is set for 9pm and we will go from there" Chan nodded.

"How did last night go?" Minho asked smoothly looking to Changbin who had been sitting quietly taking in the information.

"Yeah did you make up for the fifth time since she's been here" Hyunjin teased.

"We have, and I told her and that's all you need to know" he sighed looking coolly at the others.

"She turned you down?" Chan blinked rapidly his brow furrowing.

"Holy shit she didn't did she? Fuck me" Han yelped eyes wide.

"For fucks sake I gave her time to think about it you pricks" he groaned irritation levels rising with each question or dumb remark.

"Did she seem ok when you told her though?" Felix asked softly "She has had barely any time to adjust to anything it's a lot for her"

"I know man, that's why I told her that I didn't mind how long she took or even if she said she couldn't do it we aren't going to change unless she wants us to" he explained mainly to Felix since he knew he was going to understand better than the others since you were close.

"That's great man, I happy for you either way" Felix grinned his little dimples showing and eyes creasing up.

After the meeting he and Felix went back up to his room to speak with you about the voice that Felix had managed to get unmodulated in case you knew it.

"Doll, you in here?" Bin knocked as he opened the door.

"Uh yeah" you squeaked looking up at them startled.

"Aw sorry bubs we didn't mean to scare you" Felix giggled as you glared at him in mock anger.

"Whatever Lix" you rolled your eyes smiling at them genuinely happy they were both there and you weren't alone with Changbin just yet. After he left you had snuck down to the kitchen to make coffee and enough snacks to last you for the day, running into Mrs Choi she had kindly offered to bring you whatever you needed though out the day if you were happy to text her your requests which you were incredibly grateful for.

"We need you to listen to something if that's ok" Changbin started gently.

"I ran one of the calls that I recorded through a computer program to get the voice to sound normal" Felix explained plopping himself next to you "It is saying creepy things but I need you to really concentrate on if you recognize the voice"

"If you do know the voice it will be a useful step but if you don't that is fine too its just a long shot after all" Changbin continued sitting on the other side of you.

"Ok, play it for me then" You blinked rapidly trying to prepare yourself for whatever it was. Felix nodded taking one of your hands in his and pressing play on his phone you could here a couple of breaths before the mans voice started playing.

"I know you can hear me you little bitch...they will find you that pathetic boyfriend of yours can't stop me from having you"

You instinctively move away from the phone and further into Binnie's side his arm wrapping around you a moment later out of instinct rather than anything else but in struck you that you instantly felt safe. The voice wasn't as scary not that it sounded human again and there was something you recognized but you weren't sure what.

"Play in again Lix" you whispered concentrating hard, Felix played it again at your request "There is something familiar but I don't know what or who" you frowned wracking your brain.

"I can play it again later for you if that helps you to think about" Lix offered sweetly "I'll tell the others its familiar to you though" he walked towards the door Bin following but not leaving instead just closing the door behind him.

"Can we talk or are you still hiding from me?" He asked looking at you softly.

"I'm not hiding" you defended yourself weakly "I just needed to think"

"And have you thought?" he whispered almost shyly "Or do you need more time because if you do that's fine"

"I have thought Binnie" you swallowed hard looking at him nervously he smiled at you reassuringly and clicked the lock on his door so none of the others could interrupt but didn't step back towards you.

"That's good then" he nodded awkwardly neither of you really knowing where to start, taking a deep breath you took the initiative.

"Did you mean everything you said to me?" your voice was timid but the awkwardness was too big for you to manage anything else.

"Every fucking word doll" he swore intently staring into your eyes with a look that seemed hungry.

"And regardless of what happens you won't throw me out of your life?" you added feeling slightly braver at the soft expression on his face, you took a step towards him.

"If you want this I'll give you the world doll but if you just want to stay as we are now I will respect that, I'll never leave you" he was emphatic as he spoke making you believe him whole heartedly.

"How long have you felt this way?" you asked smiling shyly.

"To be totally honest years longer than I want to admit, I've loved you since high school I just never realized what it was" he was willing to bare his heart to you and you could feel yourself getting emotional "But these past couple of years it really dawned on me that I was in love with you".

"How would it work Binnie? with the life you lead and all that" you sighed looking at the floor not noticing him coming closer to you.

"Nothing really has to change except that we will need to find you another apartment, probably closer to here, and our guys will monitor your safety for the first little while to make sure you are really safe" he reassured you reaching for your hand and squeezing it. "I will make sure this never happens again I will swear it to you if you want me too".

"What about my job? they know where I work?" your voice was still nervous but you hoped after everything was spoken about you would feel better about everything.

"You can continue to work there if you want or we can find you somewhere else to work with one of our associates who has a legitimate business" Binnie sighed his posture getting more rigid as his grip on your hand loosened you started to think he was perhaps expecting you to shoot him down.

"I wasn't sure if that was allowed that's all" you admitted looking at him foolishly.

"Doll you are allowed to do whatever you want, none of our boys will say shit, if you want to stay out of the life as much as possible you can if you want to know what I'm doing you can do that too. But I will always keep you safe" he smiled again charmingly although his eyes has darkened as he kept looking at you.

"I feel safe with you Binnie I always have, and I have spent a while now imagining what it might be like to be your girlfriend" you murmured biting your bottom lip unconsciously as you looked at him sweetly.

You heard an quiet groan from the back of his throat before he surged forward kissing you roughly, his soft lips moving desperately against your own as he pulled you flush against his hard chest one hand gripping the back of your neck to keep you in place the other holding your waist in an almost bruising grip. You gasped into his mouth which he took advantage of to slip his tongue between your lips to move against your own before he pulled back almost as quickly as he grabbed you.

"Fuck, I'm sorry doll" he panted slightly letting you go and leaving you aching for him to hold you against him again "I don't want to force you into anything"

"You aren't" you whispered pressing your lips back against his softly "I want to be with you Binnie".

"You sure? because I won't be able to stop myself doll" he was so close to you his warm breath fanned across your skin his eyes so desperate for you.

"I want you" you repeated invitingly, smirking cockily he grabbed you walking you back towards his bed hands roaming under your top to your breasts massaging them roughly causing you to groan.

"Get undressed doll, or I'll rip these clothes off you" he growled licking his lips seductively and making you pull you shirt over your head immediately, you stripped off faster than you ever had in your life leaving yourself totally bare for him "Fuck your so pretty naked doll" he smiled slowly pulling his shirt over his head as your mouth watered at the sight of his naked chest, chiseled and so fucking hot.

You scooted back onto the bed letting him kneel between your knees as his lips sought out yours again laying you back against the soft bedding, this time he took his time gone were the rough desperate kiss replaced with sensual ones making you savor the taste of his lips. Laying you back he took his time gently caressing your skin, groping and mapping his way around your body his hands leaving trails of heat across your flesh making you groan against his lips.

"I will never let you go you know that doll, your mine now" he muttered into your skin making you shiver against him finger trailing down between your thighs he grunted feeling how wet you had gotten "Fuck, so perfect, so wet and all mine"

"All yours" you sighed in pleasure as his fingers softly danced around you clit sliding up and down you slit collecting your arousal, kissing his way down your body he repositioned himself at your core, his hot breath against you as you spread your legs further for him. Making eye contact with you he took one torturously long swipe through your folds with his tongue your eyes rolling back into your head and he hummed against your clit. 

His tongue we perfection alternating between kitten licks to you clit, suckling it between his lips and letting his tongue wander to your center thrusting inside you to lick your walls perfectly, all you could do was moan and gasp while threading you fingers into his dark locks pulling lightly making him moan into your cunt as you ground your hips against his mouth chasing the orgasm you could already feel racing towards you. 

"Changbin!... fuck... I'm going to... fuck" you mewled unable to make the words flow properly.

"Cum on my face baby" he grunted into you as he continued using his tongue to give you more pleasure than you could ever remember having. You came moaning his name again and again like a mantra and he carefully licked you through it not wanting to overstimulate you just yet. Kissing his way back up your body he made his way back to your lips kissing you deeply again and letting you taste your own arousal on his lips. 

"Please Binnie, I need to feel you" you whimpered as you felt his length twitch against you.

"Fuck doll you will be the death of me" moaned aligning himself with you and pushed into you slowly inch by inch watching as your jaw dropped and your eyes rolled back into your head "You like that baby, like my dick in you?" he smirked unable to contain the ego boost your reactions gave him and he slowly pulled out again before sinking back in "want me to fuck you until you can't walk".

"Yes, yes Binnie I love your dick" you wailed beneath him already feeling the sparks of another orgasm beginning to catch light. Grinning he picked up his pace thrusting harder and deeper into you until the only sounds were the slaps of skin hitting skin and the gasps and groans of you both chasing your own pleasure.

"God you're so tight and perfect baby" he grunted against your skin speeding up his thrust as he felt you tightening around him again "Squeezing me so good baby you going to take my cum baby? going to let me fill you up?"

"Fuck Changbin please" you cried feeling the knot in your abdomen tightening. His thrust became more intense as his dick continued rubbing against your wall perfectly "so close" you whined cantering your hips against his to meet his thrusts until you felt the wave of euphoria wash over you. Moaning your name against your skin he couldn't hold back as your walls clamped down on him pulsing with your orgasm he let himself go painting your walls white as he sucked harshly on your neck leaving his mark on you.

After several moments Binnie rolled off of you bringing you with him cradling you against his chest tightly as you both caught your breath you were still buzzing from your high and he just let you gently stroking your back with his fingers.

"I wasn't too rough was I?" he murmured sounding like his normal sweet self again.

"No Binnie that was perfect?" you sighed happily stretching yourself out beside him.

"Good I'll run you a bath then doll so you can relax and I'll grab you something to eat" he breathed kissing the top of your head.

"Are you going to spoil me like this every time? Because I will get used to it very quickly" you teased kissing his chest.

"I will always worship you baby, you're my girl after all" He grinned carefully getting up and bringing you with him. He walked you into the bathroom slowly peppering your face with kisses as you followed him, he wrapped you in his robe before turning on the water and letting it run while he redressed himself quickly "I'll be right back baby you get in when your ready" he kissed you passionately once more before leaving you alone in the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror you took in your appearance, messy hair, damp skin and massive dark mark on the bottom of your neck. You brushed your fingers over it wincing a little as it stung under your touch, stupid Changbin you thought you yourself smiling. You had worried you would regret the decision you had made after thing progressed past a point of no return but you didn't, you felt happy, completely happy. Changbin returned with snacks and fruit looking every pert the doting boyfriend, a term you would need to get used to since it felt so foreign on your tongue.

"Do you mind if I join you baby?" he asked already shrugging out of his shirt.

"I would love that" you grinned watching him finish getting undressed and reach of you to untie the robe helping you to step in the bath. He followed sitting against the edge of the tub nestling you between his legs to lean you against his chest again.

"Sorry about your neck doll, I didn't mean to be that rough" he apologized tilting your head so he could see it properly, leaning in to kiss it softly.

"It's alright Binnie" you murmured enjoying his hands gliding across the skin of your legs and belly. "What happens now?" you purred getting far too relaxed against him.

"What do you mean doll?" he chuckled looking down at how you had let yourself total lean against him your head on his shoulder.

"Are we a thing now? Are we together?" you sighed happily

"Yeah your'e mine, my girl, I'm never letting you go baby" he smirked pressing his lips against your neck just below your ear, nibbling and kissing the skin there making you squirm against him. "Such a good girl, so responsive" you gasped and pulled away slightly.

"Don't tease me Binnie" you pouted reaching for a strawberry to eat.

"Sorry baby, I'll let you recover before I ruin you again" his cocky grin making you cough on your mouthful of fruit. "What I'm going to fuck you every chance I get"

"Scandalous Binnie" you rolled you eyes at him.

A while later his phone rang and he left you laying in on his bed not before asking Mrs Choi to bring some ice and ointment for the mark he had left on you which had left you embarrassed and him chuckling at you.

"I've had a call from Hongjoong" Chan began not even waiting for everyone to sit down "he want's to meet with all of us but I have made it clear the only Bin and I are willing to meet this afternoon not tonight so we are going to need to head out soon"

"Why all of us?" Jeongin's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I don't know but as a precaution I want Hyunjin on point with Jeongin and Seungmin as back up and Minho, Han and Felix you are to stay here to make sure noting happens while were gone. I don't trust this to not be an attempt at something else" Chan instructed waiting as the others nodded in understanding.

"You sure you don't want me with Hyunjin?" Han asked casually.

"No I need you here just in case, I'm not sure if this has something to do with out little one" he sighed looking to Changbin pursing his lips.

"You tell me where to be and I'll be there she gets it" he nodded in response.

"Good, you can sort out whatever shit between the two of you once this is over today I need you with me" Chan smiled. He knew that Chan had never doubted him but needed to be sure that with you staying with the others that you would be safe and he would need to be fully in with what was happening.

"We'll keep he safe you know that" Felix added looking serious "I'll never let anyone every touch her".

"I know man, and she does too" he smiled at Felix knowing that you were always safe with any of the members, his crew were his family and you were too so now you were their priority as well.

"So get your gear together we go in an hour" Chan finished the meeting excusing all of them except for him and Minho.

"If this goes pear shaped our standard plan applies, if anything happens to me you share the responsibility to hold this together, if its both of us Minho this falls to you" Chan sighed resignedly making the two of them nod they knew that Chan had always made contingency plans for their future and this was the standard one they had long ago decided on.

"Only, if anything happens to me" he started looking to both Minho and Chan "You need to take care of her, Felix will always be there with her but I need you to take her on like she's family" he looked each of them in the eye making sure they were willing to do this for him.

"We'll take her in, I mean any of us would, we will keep her safe regardless of what happens out there" Minho answered easily standing to hug him and Chan followed suit.

Making his way upstairs he found you sitting on his bed with Felix wearing his hoodie and your sweatpants looking concerned, Felix was mid explanation so he let him continue as he began stripping off to get himself ready suit, shirt, holster, belt, blade clip. He was trying his hardest not to look at you but he could feel your eyes burning into his skin.

"Did you understand all that bubs?" Felix asked softly.

"No" you shook your head looking more innocent that either of them had seen in a long time. "I don't understand if it's so important that your taking guns with you why you all aren't looking out for each other" you whispered knowing they both heard you.

"Some of us usually stay behind" Felix wrapped his hand around your thigh squeezing it to keep you grounded.

"Why?" you quizzed feeling like there was something missing in their explanation "What aren't you tell me?"

"Doll, Chan isn't sure that this isn't a trap not for us but for leaving you behind" Bin explained after a moment of silence which made Felix eye him confused "We're leaving you with Han, Minho and Felix. Han is a wicked shot and good at close combat, Minho is smart he can outsmart most people easily and with that comes him being able to out maneuver them too and Lix he's surprisingly good with guns and would burn the world down to keep you safe"

"I understand" you nodded "thank you Binnie for telling me" you took a dep breath and steeled yourself making him grin.

"My good girl" he cooed totally forgetting Felix was next to you as he leant in and kissed you sweetly.

"I knew you would get together!" Felix squealed bouncing on the bed beside you.

"We're not telling the others yet so keep your mouth shut Lix" Binne groaned annoyed with himself.

"I can keep a secret you moron" Lix rolled his eyes making you laugh while Binnie continued getting prepared, he left to get himself ready changing into clothes that wouldn't hamper him in the worst case scenario.

You followed them both downstairs when it was time for them to leave, surprised how formidable they all looked when they were being proper mafiosos, all suits, guns and hard expressions. They looked like totally different men to the ones you had become used to over the past week and if you didn't know better you would have been frightened in their presence instead you felt quite comfortable, except for the nerves over what might happen when Binnie left the company with the others.

"Have they told you what's happening?" Chan asked his features softening as he saw your eyes darting between them all.

"Yeah, Minho, Han and Lix are staying here the rest of you are going" you repeated back simply making him smile softly at you.

"Now, when we get back we will probably need to go over some self defense things with you just to keep you safe princess" Hyunjin sighed not loving the idea that if this all went wrong you might be a dead weight to his friends.

"She knows enough for the next few hours at least, don't you doll?" he smirked nodding to you.

"Yes Binnie, take kneecaps out from the side, punch throats, use my elbow its harder than my fist and if someone grabs me from behind throw my head back to break their nose" you counted out on your fingers as Hyunjin and Han's eyes both widened as you fished into your pocket and pulled something small from it and flicking it to reveal a butterfly knife "If all else fails, the temple is the weakest part of their face, don't try to stab necks go for between the ribs under an arm, between their collar bone and shoulder or their eyes and if I cant get free bite hard enough to take a chunk out of them".

"And?" Binnie prompted raising his eyebrows at you for you to continue.

"Oh never put my thumb inside my fist it will break" you grinned as he smiled nodding proudly at you.

"Well alright then Killer" Han laughed loudly as you bounced on the balls of your feet.

"We will be back before you even know it so don't worry this is just routine for us" Chan chuckled amused with your run down of how to take someone down while looking like a kid with sweater paws in an oversize hoodie.

"Be safe please" You sighed as you watched them get ready to file out to the garage.

"Always baby doll" Changbin smiled leaning in to kiss you again pulling you flush against him causing the others to whoop and yell, if you had to spend the next few hours getting teased you were going to kill him when he got back.

A/N: Thank you for reading the next part is where things will start heating up. Again any comments and reblogs are adored and you are wonderful human who I adore xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @3sriracha, @deakyspuff, @symptoms-of-moonlight, @yoonguurt, @shownus-bebe, @ateexyz, @oiphoebe, @leanimal90, @armystay89,

[tiredhawks]

Lmao, call me petty but I want Hawks to keep some of his win records, it's sad enough Hori decided he was past his prime at 23, and YET this man is going toe to toe with AFO while disabled (which is his QUIRK) with nothing but two katanas and swung hard enough to BREAK the steel. And now he's going to fight AFO in his prime. All Might could never. I hope AFO stays there the whole time, getting rewinded until he turns into a toddler and Hawks just punts him into the sun. Let Deku's legacy be saving Shigaraki's heart, let Hawks' new legacy be decapitating AFO and bullying toddler demon lords. Anyways this got away from me, but we don't actually know which half of the year Hawks debuted right? For all we know, it could've been his birthday, April as is the new school year and when Mt. Lady did, so technically, it's up in the air how quickly after he turned 18 that he hit the top ten, and so it is unknown how quickly Deku would have to be to break that record. Hawks could have a week earlier on him for all we know.

Anon you are going to make me write a literal essay here. I 100% agree. I think people severely overlook how crazy Hawks' accomplishments were too. People make similar comments about 1a's big three doing what Hawks did. And honestly they won't. Endeavor has insanely powerful fire quirk, the will, and is work obsessed. He did not do what Hawks did. He was the second youngest, I think? But there is still a few years difference there. So how would Bakugo or Shoto be in a different situation? Realistically, they wouldn't. They would ascend the ranks quickly, but not in the way Hawks did.

Izuku is a special case because he is All Might's successor and the world is desperately missing All Might. But at this moment, people don't actually know that. And winning the war is a huge accomplishment, but there is a limit to how much that can boost him overall. It's a point scale, not an arbitrary number handed out. And here's the thing- they are first year students. No matter what happens, they cant be pro heroes as students. That's several years of lag for public attention to die out and other things to happen. We can't assume what does or doesn't happen in those years. We also shouldn't forget that Izuku is kinda unpopular right now. We just had an arc where people gathered outside UA to not let him back in. The civilians in MHA don't see the world we see, the fights we do, or what these kids are dealing with. There's too much going on here to say yes or no. Could Izuku do it? Possibly, but I don't think it's as likely as people act. Does he deserve it? Obviously, he's literally going to save Japan. But the hero ranking is a process and I still think it's important the narration says "how I become the greatest hero" and not the number 1. This isn't a is Izuku better than Hawks comparison, it's a discussion of how hero ranking works.

(Not to mention the commission is fucked up right now and it seems the way everything is headed is that there won't be ranks anymore at all.)

Hawks had very unique circumstances considering he was literally groomed since 7 years old to fill this role. He had the personality, the looks, the knowledge, and a quirk that makes him extremely extremely extremely active. He is a workaholic to an unhealthy amount. THAT is how he climbed the ranks impossibly fast. There was not a single second he wasnt scoring popularity points or activity points, or both at the same time. And that WASNT. GOOD.

We don't WANT that. Hawks broke records because he was in a situation that was the product of everything fucked with hero society.

That's the point of his character. Hawks worked and worked and was handsome with the perfect quirk and broke records and made girls swoon- and Keigo didn't exist. Keigo was not a person. Hawks the hero was the only thing there. The entire point of his character is to show the problem with hero society and to have people go "my fav will break his record lol" IT DOES INDEED IRK ME A LITTLE BIT. And you addressed this by mentioning Hawks being last his prime at 23. That is so incredibly depressing and people just gloss over what it actually means. Izuku is supposed to be healthy, have a life, have friends, have off time. He's not supposed to be in this war at all or have this pressure. And before anyone goes "girl, it was a joke TikTok" listen, this isn't about the TikTok anymore. This is an attitude and thought process I have repeatedly seen in this fandom. Oh my god I'm just going to make another post about Hawks' work this is so long

[semi-imaginary-place]

ffxiv 5.x dancer, gunbreaker, blue mage

dancer: thravnair is such a weird mix of victorian london and orientalist eroticized middle east. so you have heavy cotton blouses and corsets and then... dancer costume bikinis. also i cant be the only one that thinks the dancer specific sets look better on female character models like ok get rid of the bra to a "vest" but why change the color that's a good red, or if you're going to change the color at least go with something interesting like a peacock green/blue. waht was that questline in kugane about dancers. dancer didn't exist. oh it was weaver. i liked that one. although the lore drops were mind bending. this plot is really contrived. should have just stuck to dance troupe touring the continent. ah yes distracting the masses from systemic problems instead of actually solving said problems. sounds like we're the propaganda machine, a tool of the state to suppress discontent. you're going to dance in the middle of nowhere instead of inside ishgard? i think this is the worst questline i've seen since heavensward. also how are you a famed historic dancing trope when you have 1 apprentice dancer and that's it. and after so much emphasis on how Ranaa is just a girl and so young just declaring her the successor is kinda of stupid. nashmeira staying just for eorzea seems like a flimsy excuse for ranaa to become leader also like it's not only eorzea that has suffered. I'd argue a lot of garlean occupied territory is worse off and since radz at han has official ties to the garlean empire you have like visas and can legally get in where the player character can't. also why train recruits in eorzea instead of in thravnair.

gnb: sophie's comments on gridania was a nice touch. i get the feeling it's going to a plot point when someone confuses sophia for editha. why would you continue you walk after getting attacked. the smart thing to do would be to assume another one along the route is planed and cancel for the day. oh at the beginning the bandits got sophia confused. cabbage fairy! ok i love this. this is the wrong story to tell about domestic abuse. the devs set up what looks like an abusive stalker ex but oh no the woman was lying and evil all along. women already struggle enough getting others to believe spousal abuse and rape is real without stories like this. Like npr just had a story today about how Kazakstan a few years back just outlawed spousal abuse and now has their first big public case about it. so a story with that setup but jk the woman is just a liar is in bad taste. sophia has a somnus addict radar apparently. Radovan had a wife and kid. I was under the assumption that most hrothgar weren't doing monogamy or marriage (in the american sense anyways) but had many men and one queen. I wonder if Radovan was a part of less traditional society and or married a woman of a different race. wow the yellowjackets are giving a pretty important job to a bunch of new adventurers with no record. I've gotta say I'm quite charmed by radovan. sophie mentioned she was part of some resistance, I wonder why she decided to give up the fight. aw no need to leave sophie behind after all the core tenent of party battles is dps is mitigation.

what is radovan up to with cato this reminds me of the yellowjackets in the last quest. bozja... ugg i don't wawnt to grind in bozja but i want the lore... lol radovan took mamula right past the ishgard front gates. ther's been good thematic development through out these quests all building up to engineer dude from the harpsicordist hiding jealousy to the father gambling away his family and trying to win them back, to cancer criminal overlord confessing. Each as been an escalation in scale as well as the remorse and attempts to compensate for their wrong doings. this questline is going hard and straight with the promises must be kept, your word is binding. anon client is sus i wouldn't take a job with so few details. yup a trap. and he isn't even a full blood garlean so he'd never be truly respected or promoted.

typos in chat! even with audade down why would garlemad stop pursuing mammula. also bozja was 10+ years ago why defect now. "its not for me to judge him" as one of those directly affected yeah it is, it's not for pc or sophie to judge him but you can radovan. honestly we could have just waited in revenant's toll for this dude or tried to intercept him in limsa or ishgard since we're several days behind. chasing each other in circles smh. sophie could always go along with the rebuilding project too but I don't think she'd like bozja. bro... drop the contact info, how are bozjans suppose to find you. also i get for the quest pacing but like go grab dinner together at least. i should introduce radovan to eric, they'd either hate each other or love each other. More than a cat radovan reminds me of a dog. When that dude started talking bout catching a lion instead of a goat i did think he was talking about radovan and got a little skeptical.

blu: i do think this premesis is flawed, if "the new word" is the americas analogue than it's about equal distance from hingashi and eorzea who's to say some blue mages didn't make the trip west across the sea. what's a trip to a foreign land without being robbed blind? new lore drop martyn can tell namazu apart uh martyn do you have an international copyright on you'r sales pitch and job stone? yeah questionable since white and black are eorzea forbidden arts. i don't actually think fuukumen festival is cutting into the masked carnival profits all that much, they are catering to VERY different geographic audiences. customers in kugane wouldn't be goinging all the way to uldah just to see the masked carnival. oh good i don't actually have to do masked carnival. do you know how long it took me to do dirty rotten azumagia. i even remember the name from the weeks it took me! uh did kageyama replace gogo? that's amon's reskinned model doesn't even look like a roe.

noooooooooooooooooooooooo they just animated the into i actually have to fight him... this is bad for my nerves. well i got to second phase. i wonder if i can final sting. after interrupting mimicked imp song I can't heal. I now I interrupted it since I get the big flashing INTERRUPTED text on the cast bar. i'll deal with you later or maybe never. where's my extra easy job quest instance mode... Trying to do blue mage Anything Gogo and after interrupting mimicked imp song I can't heal. I now I interrupted it since I get the big flashing INTERRUPTED text on the cast bar. Anyone know what is happening. This is way before the doom spell casting even starts. I'm on healer mimicry with exuviation. DAMN YOU BLUE MAGE QUESTS LOCKING STORY CONTENT BEHIND ACTUAL SKILL CHECKS I HATE YOU MASKED CARNIVAL. it's like dark souls. the difficulty is being able to memorize a pattern of specific spells and when to use them, once you memorize the pattern it's all reflexes, there's no creativity. i hate dark souls. I like there being challenge content in this game, I just don't want story content to be gated by it.

restarted my game and tried the next day and didn't run into this problem. beat the stage idk what was going wrong yesterday. i don't think an ul'dahn court of law has any jurisdiction in kugane i mean uldah isn't even in alliance with hingashi. was this one giant thing about copyright and pirating.

[braiinwormz]

ur post abt the teensy ancients reminded me of a silly hc i have. since you can get drunk off vanilla extract i like to think PV is very resistant to alcohol [i know i saw this hc somewhere but cant find the source post :/]. he always has to supervise whenever hollyberry and gc decide to drain a bar and fuck around HFSDLFKSDJLFKDSJ. they all trade taking shots [PV doesnt really care to drink just because its not really for him but he'll do it for social reasons] and hb and gc are almost blackout drunk and hes barely tipsey after taking the same amount of alcohol. he could actually theoretically beat hollyberry's juice record pretty easily but doesnt want to shatter her ego the whole time white lily and cacao r just hanging out drinking tea or whatever chatting meanwhile gc almost hit a civilian with a javelin 'testing hollyberry's sheild' while theyre both drunk as pv fruitlessly tries to get her to sleep it off. but yeah i think abt the ancients while theyre journeying all the time its so funny to me i mean like its an angst goldmine too but. Silly blorbos doing silly adventure go brr

WAIT this actually makes a lot of sense omg,,

everyone assuming pv is a lightweight since he doesn’t drink often and in my hc i imagine him on the shorter side but really he can probably take down the most alcohol in the group easily. ALSO PV BEING THE DESIGNATED RESPONSIBLE ONE WHEN THE OTHERS R SHITFACED IS REALLY FUNNY IM SORRY,,

no and same my brain is constantly infested with ideas about what shenanigans these guys got up to before they made their kingdoms and what not literally just a really shitty dnd party

[thefanficmonster]

Power Couple

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Summary: Sean, Felix, Dave, and Joel welcome Corpse’s girlfriend to a game of Party Animals. It’s her first time playing and she has to deal with a lot more than just the controls and objectives - her boyfriend being a cute, cuddly sweetheart with ulterior motives to his clinginess.

Requested by @susceptible-but-siriusexual. Thank you so much for your request! Hope I captured what you wanted and how you wanted. Feel free to send any other requests you may have XOXO

It’s been one hell of a day. Had to correct twice as many documents as I was originally supposed to at work; found my car with a flat tire in the parking lot as I was about to go home; argued with my boss over the phone while stuck in a traffic jam. It’s been a rough twelve hours, but it has led me here and that’s what I’d rather think about.

By ‘here’ I mean I’m sitting on the couch in Corpse’s recording room, my computer in my lap, my screen displaying the screen to the game Party Animals. The suggestion was Corpse’s. He immediately picked up on my below par mood and wasted no time finding a solution to bright up the remainder of the day, shadowing the shitty portion of it. I am not what you would call a gamer. Sure I’ve played Among Us with Corpse and his friends a few times. Even that I struggle to do because I’m internally fangirling over all the people in the lobby. Yeah, dating a youtuber doesn’t mean you automatically stop gushing over the many content creators on the platform you’ve been watching for quite some time now. Corpse knows how nervous I get so he’s always near me when we play with Sean, Felix and the other. All he has to do is give me that encouraging smile and wink of his and I’m good to go. Side note: massive props to him for going easy on me in Among Us, getting teasingly called ‘simp’ by his friends in the process.

“You’ll love it.“ He promised me over and over again as the game was downloading on my computer.

“I don’t doubt that, Corpse. But I am going in completely blind and I seriously don’t wanna embarrass myself.“ I mumble a quick ‘nor you‘ under my breath, hoping he doesn’t catch it because I’m in for a pep talk if he does. 

To my dismay, he does, “Listen here, you couldn’t embarrass me even if you actively tried to do something outrageous. Most likely scenario, I’d join you in the act.” He ducks in front of the couch so we’re at eye level, his hand coming up to cup my cheek in the sweetest, most comforting gesture ever. “We’ll show em who’s the boss at stealing candy.”

I can’t help but laugh, feeling unable to express just how much this man means to me. Words can’t do the feeling justice.

“Y/N!“

“Y/N!!“

“Corpse Wife has arrived!“

Hearing all the greetings lights a flame in my chest, the warmth spreading all the way to my neck and cheeks. “Hi guys! Missed playing with you!”

“We missed you too!“ Dave, the only one of the gaming gang I’ve actually met in person, replies to me, his words along with all the others’ wrapping around me like a comfort blanket. Despite them knowing I’m a fan of theirs, they’ve always made me feel welcomed, comfortable, nothing less than them.

“You know anything about this game?“ Felix asks me.

I shake my head, almost forgetting he can’t see me, “Corpse told me it’s funny and cute. It sounds like the perfect game for me.” 

“Oh no, this is a game of survival. Survival of the fittest!“ Sean shouts excitedly, a bang following his shout I can only assume was him hitting his desk.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty fit.“ I shrug my shoulders, laughing along with the guys.

“This is the only way to find out if you actually are.“ Joel’s voice comes through my headphones in the form of a tease.

Sean mumbles quietly to himself as he’s deciding how to separate us in two teams. “Guys, a little help here. We all suck at this game, it doesn’t really matter who’s in which team.”

“Actually...“ Felix trails off, “Corpse and Y/N are the ultimate power couple in Among Us. Chances are they will be in this as well. So, the only logical move would be to...“

“I’m taking Y/N, you take Corpse.“ Sean declares. “Joel, Dave, who do you guys wanna be with?“

And the game starts. Sean, Joel and I are the Meowfia while Corpse, Felix and Dave are yet to choose a team name. We throw around snarky, cocky comments at each other, taunting the opposite team as we struggle to take the candy to our respective sides of the map.

“Don’t you dare pull that lever, Dave!“ I launch at Dave, knocking his cute avatar away from the lever, buying Joel and Sean some time to steal back the gummy bear Corpse and Felix took from us.

“Y/N! Joel is out! Help me!“ Sean is freaking out now. I ditch Dave’s unconscious body and run to Sean’s aid. 

As I’m helping him push it towards out area a member from the opposite team latches onto my avatar, weighing me down and hindering me from doing anything.

“Hug!“ Corpse laughs as he has literally turned into a koala, holding onto my avatar.

“Corpse, you know you are actually supposed to hinder Y/N, not hug her. It’s cute though, don’t get me wrong.“ Felix laughs as him and Sean continue to struggle over the gummy bear.

“Nah, his tactic’s great. I can’t do shit.“ I desperately try and shake him off, “Babe, this is unfair. I can’t even be mad at you!“ I whine, staring to panic now that Dave is back to life and Joel is nowhere to be seen.

The round is won by Felix, Dave and Corpse who, if I might add, didn’t let go of me for the rest of the game.

We switch maps, now every man for himself. We’re on the submarine, recreating the Hunger Games with cute fuzzy animals. The thought passes through my mind, causing me to giggle.

“Y/N, you sound exactly like I’d imagine your avatar to sound. You’re so cute.“ Sean’s avatar circles mine a few times as he laughs.

He’s not wrong, my pale blue puppy is indeed cute. Apparently immortal as well.

“How is Y/N still alive?! Holy shit, her and Corpse really are a power couple.“ Dave shrieks when he sees me pick up the freeze gun. “NOOO!“ He shouts, devastated by the fact I shot him, sending him straight to his death.

“Chill, Dave. It’s all cool. Nothing personal.“ I struggle to hide my laughter, “No hard feelings, right?“

“Of course not, love.“ I can tell he grits the sentence through clenched teeth.

“Aw Dave, you are such an ice guy.“ I giggle, now shooting Joel with the gun.

“Someone take that gun from her!“ Sean cries as him and Felix race up the submarine.

Suddenly, the avatar of my boyfriend again wraps itself around mine. I hadn’t seen him in a while, considering Sean knocked him into the ocean earlier in the round. 

“How are you still alive?!“ I try to spin my puppy to get him to let go but he holds on tightly. “Babe, I swear, you are cute and I love you, but this is ridiculous. How and why are you alive?”

“That’s his superpower! He never fucking dies.“ Felix laughs, letting out a yelp when he briefly slips while climbing.

“Immortals!!! Immortals!!!“ Sean breaks out into a song, a song I really like, breaking the restraints I had on my laughter.

“Drop the gun or we’re dying together.“ He says almost seriously. Even though I can only see the back of his head I know he’s grinning.

“A Titanic/Romeo and Juliet mashup? Why not? I can live with dying a double historical death.“ Even though I appear accepting of his offer, I’m still trying to set myself free.

In the end, Sean claims his first win of the game and the rest of us are dead at the bottom of the ocean. Corpse and I did indeed die a Romeo and Juliet/Titanic death, getting everyone in their feels. We make a deal to get together and play again as soon as possible and we all go our separate ways, exiting the Discord call.

*Later that night* 

After a dinner consisting of takeout and two thirds of a shitty romantic comedies, Corpse shifts from next to me, starting to get up from the couch. I am surprised to feel jolted out of a half sleep as the room is now completely silent, the TV being turned off.

“Hey where’re you going?“ I ask groggily, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“I have some editing to do. Don’t worry, I won’t stay up too late.“ He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

Just as he’s about to walk away, I wrap my arms around his legs. He laughs, catching onto what I’m insinuating. His chuckle brings a smile to my face and butterflies in my belly. No matter how long we date for or how much time we spend together, some things never change. 

“Payback, huh?“ He asks, the smile audible in the question. I keep my eyes shut but nod, my arms still around his legs. “Alright, you koala. You’re coming with me.”

In his recording room, he settles in his chair placing me in his lap in a way that my legs dangling off to the side, my side leaning against his chest, my face hidden in the crook of his neck. We’re both comfortable, content and relaxed.

I don’t know when exactly it happens, but all my mind has registered is a quiet ‘I love you’ and the soft touch of Corpse’s lips on my temple. I manage to reply with an ‘I love you too’ before my sleepiness consumes me, my body completely relaxing against his, the warmth of his body, his scent, the sound of his breathing making me feel safe and loved: the two feelings I want him to feel with the same intensity when I’m in his arms.

Something tells me he does.

@simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios  @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Nine-pt1) (Final)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 13.6k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mentions of sex, protected sex, jealous!oc, sensual touching, dry humping, oral (female rec.) face riding

Notes: The end is finally here! But no worries I will most likely do drabbles for you guys:) Thank you SO much for reading this story and sending so many loving comments. Enjoy this last chapter of ‘Always You’ and feel free to send me an ask to chat about the story, I LOVE talking with ya’ll!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @hsneptune @betysotelo18 @aclowe13 @bishuthot @271101 @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @bunnyjeonjk @surfacesanity @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell @fairysunooo @taebae19 @hardcarrykookie @fancycollectormoon

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous ---Next

~~~~~~~~~

December

Jungkook stares into his bathroom mirror and sees and feels nothing, absolutely nothing. He looks into his eyes and see nothing behind them. He tries to smile, but falls short. Does this have anything to do with the fact he told you he loves you but you completely misunderstood him? Yup, it probably has everything to do with that.

But Jungkook also feels like shit. He let his feelings become too overwhelming in the moment that he totally and completely forgot he has a girlfriend. So, he is almost glad that you most definitely thought he was just telling you he loves you like one normal friend to another instead of him confessing his deep and passionate feelings towards you. Yup, totally glad.

So, now he looks into the mirror and actually does see and feel something: Shame. Guilt.

And regret. Regret is written all over his face. Not regret because he told you he loves you, no. Regret that he didn’t tell you 4 years ago how he feels. Even if you didn’t feel the same he thinks he should have had the courage, instead he slept with you like a fucking idiot. But that is something he can’t get himself to regret at all…he just can’t regret that amazing night he shared with you.

“Bro! You have been in there for like ever dude, I gotta take a piss!” Jungkook hears Nick from the other side of the door, his insistent banging going completely ignored by Jungkook.

“Seriously man, I will pee in the fucking sink!” Nick threatens and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah man, I’m coming.” He looks into the mirror one last time before taking one deep breath and turning towards the bathroom door.

“Bathroom’s all yours.” Jungkook says as he opens the door with Nick already pushing past him.

“Fucking finally!” Nick doesn’t even bother to shut the door behind him as he quickly approaches the toilet to release himself.

Jungkook walks into his room and pulls out his phone as he sits on the edge of his bed. He goes through his message threads, his fingers hovering over your name when he gets to you.

It’s been a few weeks since the trip to your parent’s house. He had such an amazing time. That Saturday your mom cooked one of her famous homemade meals…something Jungkook hasn’t really had in years. Your dad would casually slip in the word ‘son’ in conversation, making Jungkook’s heart glow. You laughed and talked and cried and just looked so at home the entire time, like all your worries were vanishing.

He knows you’re struggling with what to do…but going abroad? Were you serious? You mentioned it to your parents too while there visiting and they loved the idea…making Jungkook’s heart sink. They just encouraged you more while you were there…telling you it was such a fun, and great idea and that it totally suits you. This only made you feel more motivated…Jungkook could see that.

Jungkook wants nothing but the best for you…he just wants you to be happy. Your happiness is his happiness but how could he survive if you left? How could he go a day without seeing you? Or worse…a week? A month? A whole fucking year? He went three months without you and he spiraled pretty bad.

Jungkook continues to sit here, his fingers right over your name and he clicks it.

Jungkook 8:14pm

I have a cold beer with your name on it

y/n 8:21pm

:( I cant hang tonight, sorry boo…im hanging with yoongs and tae. You can come by if youd like to?

Jungkook 8:22pm

No no its okay, you have fun :))

Jungkook brings his phone to his chest, right over his beating heart and he sighs out in frustration. Why can’t everything just be easy? Why is everything so complicated?

~~~~~~~

“And I will be the youngest curator they’ve ever had at this museum!” Tae finishes proudly, cheering his wine glass with yours and Yoongi’s.

“That’s so amazing Tae.” You bring your glass back to your mouth and take a gulp in his honor.

“Proud of you, kid.” Yoongi smiles fondly at Taehyung and you can’t help but also feel very proud. Taehyung got offered the main curator position at the museum of art downtown and you three are at the record shops cozy corner celebrating.

“Anything else new going on?” Taehyung asks, he eyes both you and Yoongi. “Like, any new love interests? Job offers? Juicy drama? Literally anything.”

“Nothing from me.” You laugh, you and Taehyung look over at Yoongi who is sipping his wine with the biggest blush painted on his cheeks.

“Yoongi?” you pry. “Did something new happen with you?”

“Well…I wouldn’t really call it news.” He begins shyly, “But I maybe met someone.”

You and Taehyung share a look of shock and excitement.

“Wait dude, you mean like a romantic interest?” Taehyung asks, setting his glass down on the table.

“Yeah, like you have a crush on someone?” You smile at Yoongi and his blush deepens.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he admits, “But they’re really nice and have been coming in the store every week and we sort of just end up talking…and they asked for my number—”

“This is definitely a romantic interest!” Taehyung basically shouts. “Did you give it?”

“Yes…” Yoongi takes another sip of his wine, his eyes sliding to the side. “Did I mention they’re cute?”

“You in fact, did not mention that.” You say with a grin. “I’m happy for you Yoongs.”

“I think I’ll ask them out, what do you guys think?” Yoongi whispers.

“I think that’s a great idea man!” Taehyung basically shouts again and you laugh.

“I think I really admire you for going for it…” You sigh. You wish you had that kind of courage.

“You know…” Yoongi sets his wine glass down, and turns in his seat to face you, “It takes a lot of bravery to open up to someone…it takes a lot of strength to admit when you’re wrong and to admit when things aren’t going right. It takes real courage to open your heart to someone like, romantically. You’re like, the coolest human being in the world if you can do those things.” Yoongi folds his hands out in front of him, he bites his lip as he thinks.

“y/n…you don’t have to be some sort of super human.”

You tilt your head in confusion…you thought Yoongi was going to a place where he tells you to go for it too.

“You shouldn’t always be the one doing things. Others need to form the courage too. You’re worth it. You’re worth that risk…that you may not feel the same. Trust me, I would know.” He chuckles light heartedly. “I think he will come around.”

“I don’t know about that.” Taehyung cuts in. “I want to believe he will but…” Taehyung looks over at you with pity. “…He’s…” Taehyung doesn’t know what to say without spilling anything so he decides to let the words die on his tongue.

“To be honest with you guys…” You reach for your glass of wine and chug back the remainder of what’s in the glass rather quickly before slamming it back down on the table.

“New Year’s Eve.” You say. “Four years ago. Something happened. Something major, he…”

“Four years ago, New Year’s Eve?” Taehyung scrunches his brows together as he tilts his head. “Wait something happened between you two?” you only nod your head at Taehyung’s question.

“Did Jungkook say what he wanted to say?” Taehyung asks with big eyes, completely shocked, this is news to him. But now it’s your turn to tilt your head in confusion.

“Say what he wants to say? What are you talking about?”

“Huh? Uh,” Taehyung guesses it’s not what he’s thinking. “It’s nothing. So what happened?”

“We slept together.” You blurt out quickly, giving yourself no time to regret it.

You hear Yoongi chuckle from beside you and you snap your head in his direction.

“What? What’s so funny?” you ask.

“You thought I didn’t already assume that? That you two haven’t already slept together?”

“Damn,” you say, “Observant as usual.”

“WAIT WHAT?” Taehyung sputters out, quite fucking loudly.

You guess Taehyung isn’t as observant.

“We got kind of drunk, kissed at midnight and went back to his dorm and you know…”

Realization hits Taehyung hard. When Jungkook was pissed about the fact Taehyung slept with you it wasn’t just because he was some heroic friend. It was also because Jungkook has already had you and he knows he doesn’t like to share. Fuck.

“Holy fuck, y/n.” Taehyung closes his eyes for a moment, “Wait, and you guys didn’t talk about it after? Didn’t he have something to tell you perhaps?”

“What are you talking about? He totally brushed it off. So I got bitter and didn’t talk to him for a month. Now we just…I don’t know, we just…I feel like we are more than friends but less than lovers.”

“Makes total sense.” Yoongi adds, “You two are that but more than anything you two are complete and total idiots.” “Well, that we can agree on.” Taehyung grins.

~~~~~~

It’s the middle of December meaning it’s time to do your Christmas shopping! You, Trina and Holly are at the mall perusing around and trying to find the perfect gifts.

“Let’s do what we always do y/n.” Trina bumps her elbow into your side, with a smile on her face.

“Couldn’t agree more.” You respond.

“And what do you two always do?” Holly asks, feeling a little left out.

“Oh you know, we agree to no presents.” You say, “One less person to stress over, that’s our gift to each other.”

“Wow.” Holly deadpans, “You guys are so lame.”

“Or are we geniuses?” Trina asks with a grin, she walks closer to Holly and links arms with her, “But don’t worry Hol, I am getting you something.”

“Good.” Holly says, a shy smile making its way on her face.

“Me too!” you say trying to include yourself. “What would you like anyway? Just show me and I’ll buy it for you!”

“That takes out all the fun in gift giving.” Holly pouts, “It’s supposed to be a surprise!”

“Ah, fuck.” Trina spits out, “I suck at gift giving. Just tell us what you want.” She whines.

“No!” Holly laughs. “Look, I’ll be back.” She gestures towards her left, “I gotta use the bathroom.” She waves at you and Trina and walks away.

“Dude what am I going to get Holly?” Trina asks you, her frustration as clear as day. “It’s got to be special.” She adds in shyly. Special? Now’s your time to finally ask her what is up with her and Holly.

“Why special?”

“Oh you know.” Trina’s sheepish grin gives her away. “I don’t got to say it, when you know.”

“Fair enough.” You laugh. “Oh!” you point towards the window of one of the stores to your right, “You see those mugs? Let’s go check them out.”

“What why?”

“Christmas gift.” You say simply.

You both walk towards the glass window and eye the mugs, there’s a whole bunch but there’s a mug with music notes all over it and you’re reminded of the record shop and your two friends. You walk inside and grab three of them. Yes, three matching mugs for you, Yoongi and Taehyung. Even though Taehyung doesn’t drink coffee, he can still put whatever beverage he wants inside.

You pay for the mugs and have them wrapped in Christmas paper! You got some of your first gifts done with! Now you need to find something for Jimin, Jungkook, Holly and your parents. Crap, should you get something for the rest of the boys too? You’ll be seeing them on New year’s…maybe you’ll get them all scarves. That’s easy.

Jimin is easy, you know he’s been eyeing this channel necklace for far too long and you happen to be able to afford it for him. Jungkook isn’t easy at all. So you go with something simple, a new pair of chunky black boots that he’s been talking about for months. Your mom gets a necklace with her birth flower and your dad gets tickets to his favorite sports team…cheap tickets, sorry to your dad. Holly loves penguins so you find a cute penguin pin for her purse, you think she will love it.

Shopping takes almost the whole day, you, Trina and Holly are seated in the malls food court sipping on a smoothie.

“I am so freaking tired.” Holly leans her head on Trina’s shoulder as she speaks.

“Me too, girl, me too.” You respond. “But Christmas is soon!”

“Are you guys excited about going home?” you ask.

“Yeah, my parents promised they would take me ice skating like when I was a kid.” Trina chuckles.

“I’m excited too! What about you y/n?” Holly lifts her head from Trina. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Going home, of course. I’m bringing Jungkook with me.” You admit with a soft smile, “My mom and dad love him, they practically beg me every week on the phone that I bring him.”

“You guys are such a couple.” Trina rolls her eyes playfully.

“We’re best friends! He doesn’t have parents to spend it with so he’s coming with me, is that such a crime?” you say lightly.

“No, no. Of course not.” Trina rolls her eyes again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you guys get together during your trip.”

“Need I remind you he has a girlfriend?”

~~~~~~~~

Jungkook slides his dick in and out of Vanessa as she clenches around him, he holds her body up as he fucks her from behind. He’s been at it for a while but…

“I’m going to come!” She moans out, “Please tell me you’re close!”

“I—I” Jungkook tries fucking her faster and harder as she comes undone. But Jungkook is still trying, he’s fucking struggling. He screws his eyes shut and thrusts into Vanessa at a fast and hard rate but nothing is working.

“Sorry…sorry.” Jungkook begins to slow down, “I can’t. I just can’t” He admits, totally defeated. He’s tired. He eventually comes to a stop, and pulls out.

“I’m sorry Vanessa.” He says quietly, “It’s not you, I promise.” His voice is hoarse.

Vanessa stands and walks to the bathroom to clean herself up, when she returns she sees Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed with his pants back on.

“It’s okay, Jungkookie.” Vanessa’s smooth voice doesn’t waver as she speaks, “It happens.”

Jungkook runs his hands down his tired face before looking up at Vanessa, his eyes slightly watery.

“This isn’t fair for you, I should be able to fucking come.” He grits out. “At the fucking least.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“How are you so calm about this? Hm?”

Vanessa sits on the edge of the bed next to Jungkook, she breathes in and out before raising her head to speak to him.

“He wants to get back together with me, you know.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at her words. She couldn’t be talking about her ex, could she?

“Vanessa—”

“It’s okay. I said I no. Somehow I feel okay.” She smiles at him, it isn’t one of those coy or secretive smiles she mostly hands out but a real genuine smile.

“I think I just feel good that he wants me again but now I have the upper hand, you know? I’m the one with power.”

“You told him no?”

“And not even because I am supposed to be your girlfriend…but because I decided I need to respect myself. You’re right…what I was doing…it wasn’t healthy.” She admits, she shakes her head to rid herself of her bangs that keep falling in her eyes.

“I…I’m proud of you.”

“I want to be proud of you too.” She whispers.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” she says quietly, “You’ll see eventually.”

“What does that me—”

“Let’s take a small break.” Vanessa tilts her head to get a quick look at him, “Just until New Year’s.”

“Vanessa—”

“We just need some time to like, miss each other? You know?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “You mean, break up?”

“Just a break. But technically yes, we aren’t together in the meantime.”

“Why?” Jungkook stands up, “We can make this work Vanessa.”

“Please stop.” Vanessa says more sternly. “It’s what I want. Just until New Year’s.”

Jungkook paces back and forth with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He doesn’t understand why she wants this? Because he couldn’t come? All because of that? He stops pacing to stare at her and she’s already looking up at him with a sickingly sweet smile.

“Fine.” He says. “If that’s—that’s what you want.” He clears his throat and tries smiling for her, she all but nods her head.

~~~~~~~

“You ready?” you ask Jungkook when he walks up to your car. You came to pick him up, insisting that you drive this time.

“Yeah.” Jungkook shows you his bunny grin and you melt, you love that smile of his. He sets his bag in the backseat and walks over to the passenger door and sits down inside.

“I’m excited to spend Christmas with you and your family.”

“Oh, it’s going to be a handful. You’ll be meeting my grandma, some aunts and uncles and some cousins of mine.”

“And I cannot wait.” He repeats. “Do you have my Christmas present here in the car?” he smiles cheekily, “Just give it to me now.”

“Yeah, right. You have to wait until tomorrow dummy!”

“Hey, don’t call me a dummy.” Jungkook pouts. He leans back in the passenger’s seat and closes his eyes.

“Hey, you’re not thinking of taking a nap are you?” You reverse your car out of the parking spot at his apartment.

“Maybe.” Jungkook snickers from beside you, “If you don’t want me falling asleep, tell me something interesting.”

“I think I want to work on getting a TEFL.” You blurt out, “To you know, teach.”

Jungkook’s eyes stay shut as he processes your words, he thinks to himself carefully—he can’t react negatively. He can’t.

“That’s nice, y/n.” He settles for. “You’ll like it.”

“That’s it?” you twist your head to look in his direction, he opens his eyes and stares at you for a few moments.

“Eyes on the road.” Jungkook closes his eyes again.

“Jungkook…you aren’t sad I might be moving away for like, at least a year?” You grip the steering wheel tighter, “You know I would be leaving right?”

“What do you want me to say y/n?” Jungkook opens his eyes and leans forward, “Want me to tell you no? That you aren’t allowed to leave?”

“Well…no. But you could act like you care a little.” You whisper out in pout.

“I do care.” Jungkook huffs, “But I just want you to do whatever makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

Jungkook quirks a brow and smiles, “So, you want to do me?”

“Gross,” you reach over and hit his arm. “You know what I mean. I just…I mean I value your opinion.”

Jungkook’s smile begins to fade as he stares at the cars floorboard. He zones out for a few moments, not entirely sure what to say. While it is true he wants you to do whatever makes you happy he also doesn’t want you to go anywhere.

“Do what’s best for you baby.” He all but whispers. “I will believe in you and support you no matter what.”

“I guess I’ll take that for now.” You whine. “How’s work going for you?”

“It’s good.” Jungkook’s eyes light up, “The director is letting me edit some pretty important scenes.” He gushes. “I brought my work stuff so I can show you over the next couple of days.”

“Yeah? That sounds exciting Jungkook!”

You finally merge on the high way for your few hour trip, you got your ‘Chillin’ playlist on and a few snacks on hand. You and Jungkook chit chat every so often but you mostly jam to the music.

“Let’s listen to Disney radio station!” You hand Jungkook your phone, “Hurry, put it.”

Jungkook takes your phone with a grin and selects the Disney option on pandora, the first song to come on is Lion King’s ‘Hakuna Matata’. You and Jungkook sing your hearts out, smiling, giggling and belting out the notes.

A couple hours pass like this, your throat getting admittedly sore. But Jungkook on the other hand is still going strong, he is singing all the parts in ‘Kiss the Girl’ with such passion…you can’t help but chuckle as you listen to him.

“Phew, I am worn out!” you say, laughing. “But I see you can keep going?” you turn the volume down.

“Oh, we can switch it up…but to answer the question you know I can keep going.” He winks. And you know he meant that innocently but you can’t help but blush.

“Right.” You hand him your phone again, “Our trip is almost over…you can just put on a playlist.”

“Are you excited to see your parents again?”

“Well, I just saw them last month…but yes.” You admit, “Being home is always nice. My parents have been bothering me for weeks making sure you are actually coming with me for Christmas.” You chuckle, “They’ll be glad to see you.”

Jungkook grabs a hold of his ears in excitement, you can tell he’s genuinely happy as he sits here and smiles that smile.

“I’m glad to see them too. And I am excited to meet more of your family.”

“There will probably be misunderstandings…but don’t worry, I will make it clear we are just friends.” You nod your head as you speak. Jungkook just shrugs in response, just fucking shrugs.

“Isn’t that your house up there on the corner?” Jungkook points forward towards the house.

“Yup.”

When you pull into the driveway your parents are making their way outside, they smile at you and you wave from inside your car. You turn it off and turn to face Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yes.” He grins.

You step out of your car and your mom and dad are rushing to bring you in for a hug, they hold you close and you feel yourself feeling right at home. You begin to pull away and head towards the backseat when your mom grabs your arm,

“You two can get your things later—before bed, before bed.” She guides you towards the house, “And hello, Jungkook.” She smiles widely, “So nice you are here again! Let’s go see everyone!”

“Yes mam.” Jungkook says with a small smile, he walks forward and shakes hands with your dad.

“Nice to see you again, son.”

“Yes sir, you too.”

“Stop being so formal!” you look back at him, teasing. You and your mom walk to the front door, waiting for your dad and Jungkook to catch up.

The four of you enter the house, it smells like pie and cookies and warmth and you know, like Christmas. You hear the chitter chatter of your relatives filling the house and you want to smile. You can hear your cousins gossiping in the kitchen, you hear their children playing in the backyard (The back door is open), you hear your grandma snoring on your dads recliner, while your aunt and uncle quietly talk on the other sofas. You hear what it’s like to feel at home.

“Look who is here, everyone!” Your mom announces obnoxiously. “It’s y/n and Jungkook!”

First your aunt and uncle’s attention are caught, they nod your way with smiles on their faces and you head over to the sofas to hug them each. Your grandma stays snoring on the recliner and you giggle, classic grandma.

Next, your cousins are coming in from kitchen. Three of them to be exact, Daniel and his wife Larissa and your other cousin who is your age Manny. Daniel and Larissa have 3 beautiful children who are playing in the back, you can hear their giggles from inside. Manny is much shorter than you, she’s petite and curvy and really, really pretty. You go in to hug her first, she wraps her arms around you loosely.

“y/n!” she yells excitedly, “It’s been since last Christmas right?!” she asks, still holding on to you.

“Something like that.” You giggle, “Hi Daniel, Larissa.” You go in to hug them as well.

“Guys this is Jungkook.” You finally introduce the awkward boy, he stands here swaying from side to side waiting to meet everyone. He bows his head in greeting and everyone says their hello’s. All except sleeping grandma.

“Well, hello.” Manny smiles at Jungkook, “I didn’t even see you there, which is crazy because you’re like crazy hot—”

“Okay, Manny.” You try cutting in early enough, but are a bit late.

“Oh?” Jungkook eyebrows climb to up his forehead as he looks at Manny.

“I’m Manny.” She winks, “ You must be y/n’s friend, I presume?”

“Uh…”

“y/n!!!!” Your grandma comes up to you all, her sweet perfume filling the air around you. “You’re here, sweetie.”

“Grandma!” you lean in and hug her frail body, she smells like she always has your whole entire life, sweet.

“And this must be your boyfriend, Jungkook? I have heard so much about you, dear.” Your grandmas opens her arms, signaling Jungkook to lean in and hug her—which he does.

“Actually grandma—”

“You finally have a nice boyfriend, your parents have told me all about him.” she winks, “I am so happy for you sweetie, I think I can finally rest easy.”

“Rest easy?” you question, “No grandma you are mis—”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Jungkook smiles at your grandma and she cheeses hard.

“You can call me grandma, dear.” She pats his back lovingly, “I want to hear all about you two. Shall we drink some tea together?”

“Boyfriend?” Manny asks, confused. “I didn’t know you guys started dating?”

“We aren’t—”

“Its new.” Jungkook cuts in. He slides his arm around your waist and you audibly gasp.

“What’s new?” Your mom walks up to you all.

“They’re dating.” Manny says, looking unimpressed.

“WHAT! Darling, get in here!” She calls your dad over, “Jungkook and y/n are together, together!”

“No we are—” you try cutting in but you feel Jungkook dig his fingers into your waist.

“THEY’RE TOGETHER?!” Your dad yells out, his excitement clear as day. You stand here confused as hell as your whole family starts congratulating you two.

“Wait, wait.” You try getting out but Jungkook leans in to whisper in your ear.

“We can’t disappoint grandma.” He says softly.

~~~~~~

“I met my Roy at a party too.” Your grandma says between sips, she holds her tea in front of her face as she reminisces.

“Was it love at first sight?” Your grandma asks, wiggling her brows. “Me and my Roy didn’t get together for quite some time so I don’t think it was love at first sight for us…when did you know?”

“Grandma…” you begin, “Can we talk about something else?” you beg.

“I knew only a few months later.” Jungkook admits shyly, he smiles at your grandma while bringing his tea cup to his lips. “I knew no one could take y/n’s spot. But I was content with being friends.”

Your eyes grow in size, his confession warming you up. You know it’s all for show but you can’t help what it does to you.

“I also knew after a few months.” You say quietly.

“Oh, how lovely!” Your grandma claps her hands together softly, “And now here you are! Jungkook…” Your grandma sets down her tea cup and looks over at Jungkook. “I trust you will take care of y/n no matter what, right?”

“No matter what.” He says quickly. “She takes care of me too.”

“And how does she do that?” Your grandma raises a drawn on brow.

“She is always there for me…she always tries to understand me even when I am in the wrong…she always tries to get to know me like she doesn’t already know everything,” he chuckles, “She always hugs me when I need it.” Jungkook looks at you with a soft smile, “She really loves me and I can feel it.” Then his mouth falls open and his eyes expand a little, “Do you… love me y/n? Like—”

“Okay, that’s enough about us babe,” you cut him off, “When did you get in town grandma?”

“Oh, just last night.” She mumbles, “I—”

“So,” Manny comes into the kitchen, her v neck lower than it was 20 minutes ago, you can’t help but roll your eyes. “What do you do Jungkook?” she leans down into his space, one hand squeezing his bicep as she asks her question.

“Um, I work as an editor for a film company.” His eyes shift to you and you roll your eyes again. “What about you?”

“Oh? Me? I work at a marketing firm. Was hoping to see y/n there.” She smiles at you. “But guess she didn’t apply? Maybe?”

“I didn’t get hired.” You state plainly. “But I didn’t want to work there anyway.” You grip your thigh in annoyance.

“y/n is probably too good for that company anyway.” Jungkook says, his hand reaches for yours and you relax a little bit.

“Right.” Manny nods her head exaggeratedly, “That’s got to be it…” she winks at you and you give a half ass smile.

“So Jungkook…” she finally takes a seat next to him, her hand still on his arm. “Film, huh? That’s soo cool. What do you do in your spare time?” she squeezes his bicep again, “Besides working out, of course.” She laughs.

Jungkook looks at you in panic, his eyes shifting from yours to his arm and you just roll your eyes.

“Manny.” You cut in, “How’s Luis?”

“Oh, we broke up.” She says smiling at Jungkook. “Nothing to worry about it.”

“And what’s to worry about,” you lean over and detach her fingers from Jungkook’s arm. “Hm?”

“Oh nothing.” Manny shakes her head.

“Manny, did you ever take my things out of the drier?” Your grandma speaks up, “Please put them in my room if you haven’t already.”

“Speaking of rooms.” Your mom and dad walk into the kitchen, their hands joined together.

“What?” you ask.

“Grandma is in Jungkook’s room. So Jungkook will have to stay in your room with you.” She says nonchalantly.

“Hm? Okay.” You shrug while Jungkook’s eyes widen just slightly. “Where are aunt and uncle sleeping? And Daniel and the rest? “Oh, we got a hotel.” Manny says, “Which sucks because it would have been fun to have a little slumber party.” She says in pout. You give her a tight smile and nod.

“Sure.” You get out, “Guess it’s just me and Jungkook for the slumber party.” You wink at her and Jungkook laughs as he squeezes your hand.

“Can’t wait baby.”

“Oh, you guys are gross.” Manny gags, “We get it.”

“Yeah, behave.” Your mom gives you a pointed look, “You’re still in your parent’s house.”

“Sorry, sorry. We’re just messing around.” You wave your hand, “Also, I can get your things from the drier grandma, I am going upstairs anyway to change.”

“Thank you sweetie.”

You let go of Jungkook’s hand as you stand up, he looks up at you in panic. You’re leaving him here with Manny?! He’s not stupid, this girl is clearly not caring about the whole boyfriend thing but he doesn’t want to make a scene by saying something to her.

“I’ll go with you.” Jungkook rushes to say earning strange looks from your parents. “Be—because I should bring up our bags from the car.”

“Ah, yes! That’s true, that’s true.” Your mom nods her head in agreeance, “You two go.”

Upstairs is much quieter, Jungkook thinks to himself. Just the background noise of muffled voices and occasional laughter. You two are in your childhood bedroom with both of your bags on your small bed. You are digging through your own luggage when you hear Jungkook clear his voice.

“What’s up?” you don’t look up to see him, you continue digging into your bag for some sleep shorts and a t shirt.

“This bed is tiny.” Jungkook groans, “How are we going to sleep on it?”

“I suppose one of us could make a palette on the flo—”

“—No.” Jungkook shakes his head, “I just mean, you’ll have to sleep super close to me.”

“That doesn’t bother me. Does it bother you suddenly?” you grab the small shorts from your bag and set them on the bed.

“W-What? No…” he admits shyly, his teeth on full display at he smiles at his own bag. “I was just saying.”

“Will Vanessa not like it?” you whisper as you find the t shirt. “Because—”

“Actually we—”

“—ask her?”

“No, it’s fine. Trust me.” Jungkook brings out his own change of clothes and stands here awkwardly, not knowing where to go.

“I do trust you.” You breathe out, “We can just turn around and change.” You offer, already spinning on your heels and lifting your sweater over your head. Jungkook continues to stare at you until he’s hit with realization. He quickly turns around and starts changing as well.

“You sure let Manny touch you however she pleases.” You spit out quietly. Jungkook freezes mid shirt lift, his eyes growing in panic.

“It’s not that I was letting her…I just…I didn’t know what to do…I’m sorry—”

“Yeah, I know.” You roll your eyes even though he cannot see. “I’m just—it’s my fault. Me and Manny grew up together. The boy she liked in high school liked me…and ever since then she’s always…” you wiggle into your sleep shorts, slipping the material over your ass.

“Oh, I get it.” Jungkook slips on a new t shirt, “I’m done. Are you?”

“Yeah, I am.”

You both turn around, smiling sheepishly at one another. He’s wearing black sweats with a plain white t shirt and you in your sleep shorts you always use to wear around the apartment that use to drive Jungkook wild and one of his black t shirts.

“Hey, that’s mine.” He pouts, pointing at the shirt you’re wearing.

“Mine now.” You poke your tongue out. Jungkook pretends to reach over the bed to grab your tongue which makes you laugh.

“Don’t let Manny touch you again.” You blurt out, “I don’t like it.”

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip as he stares at you, he begins walking to the other side of the bed until he’s standing in front of you.

“Why don’t you like it?” he asks softly.

“It’s annoying to look at it.”

“It irritates you to see another girl touch me?”

“It’s irritating when that girl is my cousin.”

“Why does it matter who it is specifically?” Jungkook steps closer to you, he pushes his hands in his sweat pockets.

“I don’t want you to fuck my cousin, Jungkook. Sue me.” Your straightforwardness makes Jungkook chuckle.

“I wouldn’t fuck your cousin, y/n.”

“Yeah, because you have Vanessa.” You remind him.

“Actually we—”

“—we should head back downstairs.” You try pushing past him but he catches your wrist.

“Tell me why it irritates you so much.”

“I just don’t like it, Jungkook.” You huff.

“Are you perhaps jealous?” Jungkook lowers your wrist, but he doesn’t let go.

“Why would I be jealous?” You yank your wrist from his hold and push past him, walking towards your bedroom door. “Come on.”

You basically told him you weren’t jealous but why did it have to happen that when teams were being chosen for this game night, Jungkook and Manny would get paired together.

The universe is laughing at you. Manny is…shameless. She has no problem flirting with someone else’s man…you’re no exception. You can tell Jungkook is slightly uncomfortable and not really enjoying the attention but still, somehow you are fuming. It’s not like he’s being exceptionally nice to her, he’s just not being standoffish enough to your liking.

“Oh, Jungkook!” Manny giggles for no reason, she leans into Jungkook’s space, just laughing away while sit you here and watch. He chuckles awkwardly, his hands messing with the playing cards in front of him. You hate this view. You thought any view with Jungkook would be a nice one, but you were wrong. Watching your cousin fawn over him like this is making you angry as fuck. As it should, right? Jungkook is your boyfriend! Well—not actually. But still! As far as Manny is concerned, Jungkook is your man, and she needs to back off.

“Manny, could you maybe give my boyfriend some space.” You snap, your voice cutting in through your family’s chatter. The room quiets down and all eyes are on you.

Manny looks all around the room, red creeping on her cheeks as she sits here, embarrassed. She opens her mouth to speak when you hold up a hand to stop her. Then you use that hand to gesture towards their bodies,

“He’s clearly uncomfortable that you are sitting so close, and frankly, I am too.”

“y/n…”

“And he’s too nice to say anything.” Your cold eyes look at her then they slide to Jungkook, “Which is something you need to work on babe.”

“I am not even sitting that close, jeez, you are as dramatic as ever.” Manny tries to roll her eyes, while subtlety scooting away. “And really? You try to call me out in front of everyone?”

“Oh? Should we talk in private then?”

“y/n.” this time the one saying your name is Jungkook. “Maybe we should go to sleep. Start new tomorrow, huh?” The tension between you and Manny too much for him to handle right now, especially in front of everyone.

“I think that’s a great idea.” It’s grandma. “It’s way past my bedtime too.”

“I think your aunt and uncle were just talking about how it’s almost time to leave too. Perfect timing!” Your mom chimes in, “Let’s all say goodnight.”

You don’t say anything to Jungkook as you peel back the baby pink duvet on your bed, you just stare down at your twin mattress with hard eyes.

“Are you okay?”

You continue to stay silent as you slip under the covers, scooting all the way towards the edge of the bed as far as you possibly can.

“y/n…” Jungkook pats in the last of his facial moisturizer into his skin, “I asked if you’re okay?” his back is facing you as he sits on the edge of the bed, placing his moisturizer back in his bag. “It was interesting,” (Hot.) “To see you all…protective,” (Jealous.) “Tonight.”

“I’m going to sleep.” You are laying on your back, staring up at the ceiling fan. “I don’t feel like talking tonight.”

Jungkook lays down next to you, his body so freaking close. He lays on his side, facing you. His right arm going under his head, trying his hardest to get comfortable in such close quarters.

“No talking, but maybe cuddling?” Jungkook whispers, and you of course hear it clear as day because he is so fucking close to you.

“Call me crazy but I don’t feel like cuddling with a guy who can’t even tell another girl to fuck off.” You shut your eyes. “Not in the mood.”

Jungkook blinks a few times, your words sinking in. You’re kind of right, he should of said something too but he didn’t know what to say. It’s your cousin! In front of your family! And he tried his hardest to lean away from Manny as much as possible.

“I’m sorry, y/n. You’re right. I should have said something.” His left hand reaches out to grab your hand that rests on top of your stomach.

“Yeah, you should have. But now I’m the asshole who called her out in front of everyone.”

Jungkook remembers it, and he darkly chuckles.

“Yeah, and it was hot.” He admits, making you open your eyes as you snap your head towards him.

“You think me being crazy jealous was hot?” you give him a look like he’s crazy.

“So you are jealous?” Jungkook smirks, “But I don’t see it that way. I see it as being protective over what’s yours.”

“So, you’re mine?” you turn to lean on your side, your body bumping into his. “At least until the end of this trip right?” you laugh, “I can’t believe you just don’t want to disappoint grandma.”

“At least until the end of this trip.” Jungkook leans his head closer to yours, “You finally brought home a boyfriend.” He grins as his forehead slightly bumps into yours.

What does Jungkook mean at least? And why does he always become closer and closer to you?

If you were to lift your head up at all, his lips would be dangerously close to yours.

“Jeez, how many fake boyfriends am I going to have this year?” you joke, keeping your head down, “I really got to find a real one by now.”

“I know the room is dark,” Jungkook begins, “But I still want to see your eyes when we talk.”

“Didn’t I say I didn’t want to talk?”

“y/n…” Jungkook whines, “You’re still mad at me?”

“Not really, it’s not your fault. I’m just still pissed at the situation.” You admit quite easily. “It’s honestly so disrespectful of her. You’re my boyfriend. You’re my man. You’re mine.”

Jungkook’s hand settles over your waist, he grabs on and brings you in closer to his body. He inhales you, taking in your scent. You smell so good to him, he could inhale you forever. Your words echo in his mind as he snuggles you closer. Your man? His heart races faster and faster as the echo gets louder.

“I’m yours, hm?” he runs his fingers down your side, starting from your shoulder until the top of your hip bone. “Does that make you mine?” He breathes out, “Are you mine baby?” his fingers dance over your hips, your shirt and shorts separating his fingers from touching your warm skin.

“You know what I mean.” You huff out, closing your eyes from his gentle touch.

“Do I though?” Jungkook’s hand lingers over your hips, until he is playing with the end of your shirt.

“Let me touch your skin.” He softly begs, “It’ll feel nice.”

Your eyes open in surprise, what skin? Where will he be touching?

“Innocent, I swear.” Jungkook adds, “Just want to make you feel nice.”

“Isn’t that weird?” you finally ask.

“I don’t think so.”

“Fine.” You close your eyes again, “Touch me.”

Jungkook bites his lips when you give him the green light, he wasn’t expecting you to agree so quickly. Because what if it is weird? He just wants to touch your skin, no harm done. Jungkook leans up on his arms and tugs at the bottom of your shirt,

“I am going to slide this up a bit, okay?” he asks and you nod your head but you hear him chuckle.

“Words, baby.”

“Yes.” You breathe out, your eyes still closed.

Jungkook takes the material between his fingers and begins to slowly, very slowly ride the shirt up. His eyes have finally adjusted to the dark, where he can see you just enough. The shirt slides up your body, exposing your skin inch by inch. He gulps.

He lifts the shirt up until your pretty blue bralette is showing itself, your breasts falling to the side giving you a good amount of cleavage. He gulps again.

When the shirt is all bunched up at your armpits, Jungkook lays back down on his side. The cold air that spins in circles thanks to the fan is causing your skin to get goosebumps, your stomach feeling extra sensitive.

“Touch me, Jungkook.” You softly command. “I want you to.”

Jungkook swallows hard at your straightforwardness. His hand slowly creeps up to your shoulder, his fingers brushing against the material of the t shirt before he’s lightly dragging his fingers down your side. His fingertips hit your exposed skin, he lightly glides them down, just barely touching you. When he reaches your hip bone he dances his fingers lower until they’re grazing your lower stomach. His touch is so light it’s got your breathing getting just a bit heavier. He repeats his action a few times, starting from your shoulder until his fingers glide across your bare stomach. He’s right, it does feel nice. Too nice, almost.

“How do my fingers feel?” He clears his throat, his voice nice and low. Your eyes shoot open at his question. This is all innocent, but why does that question feel so dirty?

“They feel so good.” You breathe out, “So good.”

Jungkook smiles and continues sliding his fingers over your lower stomach, causing you to release a long, shaky breath. His touch is so fucking good, his touch leaving a trail of fire. As his fingers lightly skid across your stomach he leaves behind such heat. His fingers finally glide up, they barely reach right under your breasts. Your breath catches in your throat, his fingers so dangerously close to your tits and you want to smash your head on something. God, what it would feel like to have them being touched by his large hand.

Jungkook uses just his pointer finger to drag his finger down from the center of your lower chest until he’s passing your belly button, until he’s reaching your lower stomach again, his finger stopping at the drawstrings on your shorts.

You can’t help but release a long, quiet moan as his finger does that over and over. You clench your stomach muscles with each stroke of his fingers. Why does Jungkook have to make you feel so fucking good?

Jungkook feels himself getting hard against your thigh, but he doesn’t care to hide it. Touching your warm, soft skin feels so intimate and that moan you released? His cock needs to hear more. He grabs a hold of your hip, the material of the shorts in the way of your skin.

“Can I lower these a little?” he pants out. “Just a little.”

“Yes.” You feel your breaths getting heavier.

Jungkook slips his fingers under the shorts and slowly drags down the material over your hip, your panties sliding down as well. Jungkook grunts in approval, he thumbs your hip bone causing you to quietly whimper.

“You really like your hips and stomach to be touched.” He states.

“S-Sensitive.” You admit.

Jungkook massages the skin of your hip, very, very lightly. Almost like he isn’t touching you at all, like he’s just trying to tease you. And it’s working. You feel your breaths become more erratic. You keep your eyes closed as the light feeling of his fingertips begin to make you wet. You can’t help but slightly rotate your hips in circles as he touches you, and you can’t help but moan when he puts more pressure into his massage on your hip.

“You like that?” Jungkook breathes out, “Feel good?”

Your hips move faster underneath his electric touch, you start to become desperate, needing more. You finally open your eyes, Jungkook notices how dark and captivating they look. You reach forward until your own hand is at his shirt.

“Off.”

Jungkook looks at you, very confused. But he doesn’t waste another moment when he sits up and throws his shirt off.

“Good.” Your hands go to grope his chest. His strong muscles flex beneath your touch. You drag your hands down his chest until they stop at the waistband of his sweats, he throws his head back as you explore the front of his body.

“Want to touch you too.” You admit between harsh breaths.

Jungkook’s hand goes to the shirt bunched around your shoulders and tugs on it,

“Off too.” He guides you to sit up and he helps you take off your shirt. Your strappy bralette leaves almost nothing to the imagination, Jungkook thinks. The material is so very thin that he sees your hard nipples and he wants to brush his thumb over them. But he refrains.

“Much better.” Jungkook says in one breath. “Now lay down.”

You do as he says, this time you lay on your back instead of your side. You try breathing in and out normally but can’t help how irregular your breaths are.

“Jungkook.” You whine, “Touch me.”

“So needy.” Jungkook’s hand hovers over the top of your stomach, “My baby is so needy.” He whispers.

You reach up and caress Jungkook’s cheek, “I am.” You admit. Jungkook throws his head back, biting on his lip as he grins.

“Good girl.” His fingers lightly dance below your belly button and you whine. He glides his fingers lower and lower until they’re at your waistband.

“Going to pull these down…just a little.” His voice cracks as he stares down at you.

You nod your head and tell him yes over and over.

He drags the shorts just a bit lower, right before your pussy is exposed. His fingers lightly touch your new exposed skin, and you moan. The feeling getting you so worked up.

“I want to do the same to you.” You try say between your rough breathing. “Let me touch you, Jungkook.” Your hands go to his stomach, your touch anything but light as you drag your hands down with pressure. You reach the top of his waist band and begin pulling down until he’s catching your wrist.

“And what do you think you are doing?” Jungkook’s low, deep voice sends a shiver down your god damn spine.

“Innocent, I promise.” You mock, “Want to touch you too.”

“I think we have had enough,” he teases lightly, bringing his hand back to his own body. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“Fine, cuddle me.” You say, annoyed. You turn to your other side, where your back is facing him.

“Fine by me. But…” He sinks down further into the covers to spoon you, one arm going beneath your head and the other pulling you in by the hips, “Remember what happens when we get in this position.” You feel his hard cock poke your ass and you moan out quietly.

“What happens?” you play dumb.

“4 years ago, you asked me to cuddle you like this because you wanted to get fucked.” he says easily and you choke on your spit. He’s referencing that night?

Jungkook is so lost in you, he doesn’t care anymore. He will bring up that night a million times if he has to. He loves you. And he’s starting to get real tired of the constant tension between you two. He pushes his hips into your ass, you feel how hard he is and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“I also said this position makes me feel safe.” You play innocent as you bump your ass into his crotch.

“I make you feel safe?”

“You make me feel a lot of things.” You whimper, backing your ass further into his cock, it’s so hard and poking against you in such a way that drives you nuts.

Jungkook groans as he feels you circling your hips into his crotch. His hand goes to your hip and he squeezes tightly making you moan out.

“You got to be more quiet baby.” Jungkook warns softly, “We don’t want your parents or your grandmother thinking we are really having that ‘slumber party’.” He jokes.

“Then what are we having?”

“Just some innocent massages between friends.” He comments with a snicker.

“Oh? Is my ass massaging your dick so innocent?” you whine out, “I don’t really do this sort of thing with my other friends.” You keep your eyes screwed shut.

“It’s very innocent.” Jungkook teases, he begins lightly humping you. He pushes his cock further and further on your ass cheeks, he moans when you two find a rhythm. He remembers when he fucked you in this position, he remembers it well. How you sounded, how you smelled, how you felt. He memorized the feeling of you.

“Fuck, y/n…” Jungkook quietly groans out. He rocks his hips into you faster, and you hate everything. You want to touch yourself so bad. You want to slide your fingers down your shorts and rub your aching clit, you would like it even more if it was Jungkook’s fingers.

“Not fair…” you say in pout, arching your back.

“What’s not?” he pants.

“I want to feel good too…” you say, flipping to your other side, facing him. You scoot impossibly close until his cock is pressed against your lower stomach.

“Innocently, of course.” You throw a leg over his waist as your hands go to his chest to guide him to lay on his back. “Gonna make us both feel good.” Your eyes are glazed over in lust as you speak.

You straddle his hips and find the right placement in sitting down…his cock nice and snug between your clothed folds. You begin moving your hips until you have the right angle on your clit and you moan.

“Is this okay?” you breathe out and Jungkook nods his head quickly.

You begin rocking yourself against his clothed cock, he quietly whimpers at the feeling. Jungkook screws his eyes shut as his mouth falls open and wonderful panting leaves his lips. You watch him lose his composure as you hump him, you pick up the pace, becoming more and more desperate. Your clit is thanking you. ‘Thank you bitch’ it says.

“I—I can’t” Jungkook moans out, “I—I can’t do this.”

You immediately slow down, rejection sinking in. “What do you mean? You don’t want to do—”

“—I don’t want to do this with clothes on.” Jungkook groans, his fingers digging into your hips. “I need you naked. Fucking now.” He grits out.

You finally still as you process his words. Are you two about to fuck? Is this really a good idea? Again? But you are so far gone…you are so beyond horny that you are able to push your logical thinking to the side.

“Okay.” You look at him with lust filled eyes, “Take off my clothes.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen but he’s nodding his head so fucking fast it’s almost comical. He rushes to unclasp your bralette, your breasts bouncing as they are freed. He sits up, and you are graced with the sight of Jungkook’s mouth sucking on your tit. You arch your back, pushing your breast further into his mouth, his tongue swirling over the hardened nub. You throw your head back in pleasure, his hand giving your other breast all the attention it needs.

“Shorts, Jungkook.” You beg. “Take them off me.”

Jungkook detaches his self from your breast and looks up into your eyes and smirks,

“Say please, princess.”

“Fucking please, please.”

Jungkook’s hands quickly find their way to your shorts and your rise to your knees to help him slip them off your legs. Your panties go down with the shorts and Jungkook couldn’t be more pleased.

“Oh my god baby.” Jungkook stares at you with dark eyes, “Your wetness is literally dripping down your inner thighs. You are so fucking wet.” He comments and you smile shyly.

“You…” you begin to say.

“What about me?” he teases, his fingers grazing your inner thigh, he wipes some of your cum off your sensitive skin.

“You did this to me.”

“Yes I did baby. And I will take full responsibility.” He guides your body up his own, you follow his lead.

“Ride my face.” He commands as he lays back down, his hand in yours still guiding you when you stop abruptly.

“W—What?”

“Ride my face baby.” He tugs on your hand and you hesitantly make your way closer to him. You stop when you are hovering over his chest, knees on either side of his neck when you start to get shy.

“I’ve never…”

“Keep going,” his hands go to your hips and he’s guiding you further up until your pussy is hovering over his warm mouth.

“Now sit.”

“Jungkook—”

“I said, sit.”

And you do, you lower yourself over his mouth…you slam your eyes shut, feeling nervous. But then you are met with his wet, warm tongue. You stay still as he begins licking at you, his tongue licking a strip from your hole to your clit. You start to relax as the sensation fills you up, his tongue swirling around causing you to release a long, breathy moan. You can’t help but start to rock your hips back and forth…the feeling even more spectacular. You try to keep quiet, you really do. But Jungkook’s tongue is quite literally fucking you.

“Ah, Jungkook.” You throw your head back, your eyes rolling all around as you ride his face faster. You feel Jungkook moan into your pussy, making you whimper even more.

You don’t know how much time has passed but it does not matter. Jungkook shows no sign of stopping anytime soon, his tongue working to make you feel so fucking good. You ride his face even harder now, your thighs shaking as you squeeze around his head.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You pant out, “I think I’m going to—”

You rock your hips as fast as you can as you feel your orgasm approaching, Jungkook’s hands squeeze your ass cheeks. He encourages you to rock against him even harder as he guides your hips. His tongue is laid flat against your clit as you ride him faster, you can feel how close you are. You thighs shake and you feel your pussy clench around nothing as your orgasm hits you. It hits you so fucking hard, like a strong wind that’s knocked you over.

“Fuuuuuucckkk.” You squeeze your thighs together, probably crushing Jungkook’s head as you come. You breathe so fucking hard as you try to hurry to come down from your amazing orgasm, you struggle to rise to your knees, so Jungkook helps lift you a bit until you are rising from his mouth.

You inch backwards until you are hovering over his chest, when he makes you sit down. You open your eyes, and take a look at the man before you.

His entire face is glistening with your cum and he looks so fucking happy about it. He’s trying to catch his own breath as he eyes you, his entire face wet with your cum. He is fucking grinning at you.

“You did so amazing baby.” He breathes out.

“That was incredible.” You admit. “Want to…” you start off hesitantly, “Want to fuck my mouth?”

Jungkook slams his eyes shut, and takes a few deep breaths before he slowly opens his eyes again.

“No…We should get cleaned up and go to sleep. Don’t you think?” he asks softly.

“Go…to sleep?” you ask, disappointed. “Sure.” You say kind of detached. “If that’s what you want.”

~~~~~~

Shame. Guilt. Regret.

It’s the next morning and you are trying your hardest to sleep away from Jungkook. But the bed is so small making it almost impossible. You didn’t sleep at all. Which feels unfair because Jungkook is next to you snoring away with a lazy arm thrown over your waist.

Shame. Guilt. Regret.

Jungkook has a girlfriend but you and him…oh my god you made Jungkook a cheater. You are the fucking worst. You let lust win in this dangerous game you two are playing, you let it win and shove it’s victory in your face. You hate yourself. You feel so fucking bad! Vanessa may not be your favorite person but cheating is never okay.

Shame. Guilt. Regret.

You wonder if Jungkook will feel these things too as he wakes up…you wonder if he will feel worse. Jungkook is a lot of things but a cheater isn’t one of them. He’s always felt strongly about the subject because of his mom and dad. Will he be weird with you? Will he feel worse than you? Will he be able to forgive himself?

Suddenly, Jungkook’s light snores go quiet and his arm is tightening around your waist just the slightest. He’s awake. He begins pulling you in closer to his body and then you feel his lips on your neck. He leaves just an innocent peck and then you think he may be going back to sleep with how comfortable he’s getting.

“Let’s get up.” You break the silence in the room, “I can hear people downstairs.”

“Oh, good morning.” You feel him smile on your neck, “Why don’t we stay here for just a few minutes?”

Has he not processed what he’s done? Where is his shame? His guilt? His regret? You feel sick.

“We really should get up.” You repeat. “I’m hungry.” You detach yourself from his body and rise from the bed. You don’t even look at him as you grab a change of clothes and exit the room to head towards the bathroom.

Jungkook is left on the bed wondering what’s up with you? Are you feeling awkward after last night? He thought you might be in a good mood…considering your orgasm…but instead your mood seems to be sour.

“Great.” Jungkook mutters underneath his breath. He gets up too, going to his bag to change for the day. When he’s done, he grabs his toiletries and makes his way to the bathroom. He stands outside the door, softly knocking. You swing the door open with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth when you usher him inside.

“I’m going to wash up too…” Jungkook warns. He sets his small toiletry bag on the bathroom counter and takes out his face wash, moisturizer and tooth brush.

You nod your head as you continue to brush your teeth, toothpaste foaming at the corner of your mouth.

“How do you feel this morning?” Jungkook tries to make decent conversation as he applies his face wash to his face.

You spit out the toothpaste and rinse your mouth, wiping your face dry with a towel.

“Fine.” You spit out. “Just fine.”

Jungkook washes his face with water, and pats his face dry with a small towel, just nodding his head. He feels awkward.

“I feel fine too…” He adds, trying to add more to the convo. “Do you think grandma heard us last night?” he asks.

“Let’s not talk about last night.” You snap, “Can’t you read a room?”

You grab your things and leave the bathroom, leaving Jungkook wondering what the hell he did to make you so mad. Did you hate it that much? Maybe in the past he would have thought that but now…he knows how much you liked it. Loved it even. Jungkook doesn’t feel as insecure as before, he just knows the only way to solve this is to talk to you. Communication.

Communication would be a lot easier if he was given a god damn chance at talking to you but your mom is keeping you so busy in the kitchen with your gossipy aunt’s chitter chatter filling every crevice of the room. You nod along, even laugh as you listen. Jungkook is in the backyard with the three kids, keeping them entertained as you, Manny, Larissa, your aunt and mom bake in the kitchen with grandma sipping her tea at the table. Your dad, uncle and Daniel are in the living room watching some show, clanking their beer bottles together in celebration. Today is Christmas eve. Apparently this is when your family does most of the major celebrating, you guys bake and cook all day, eat a grand dinner and open presents. And Christmas day you just eat leftovers and chill.

The youngest kid has grown quite fond of Jungkook, she tends to feel left out by her two older brothers. Jungkook plays with her and she has already formed an attachment making your cousin in law laugh at them fondly.

“Your boyfriend is great with kids! Lucky you.” Larissa winks at you as she rolls the cookie dough on the counter.

“Yeah, yeah.” You say plainly.

“y/n…what’s wrong?” Manny comes up to your side, “Trouble in paradise?”

“No, Manny.” You snap. “But I bet you would like that.”

“Girls, let’s not fight.” Your aunt cuts in while your mom just looks at you worried.

“I would hardly call it a fight.” You hear your grandmas sweet voice over everyone else’s. “Now how are those drop cookies coming along girls?”

“They’re coming.” You say. “If Manny ever finishes with the dry ingredients.”

“I told you I was almost done, chill out.”

“Girls.” Your mom warns, “y/n, why don’t you go keep Jungkook company?”

Your eyes go from your moms to outside where Jungkook is and you panic.

“No, it’s okay…he’s fine.”

“You know what?” Your grandma speaks up, “I think I will if you won’t.” She sweetly chuckles. She stands from her place at the table, grabs her tea cup and makes her way to the outside table instead, closing the backyard door behind her.

“Hi dear.” Your grandma nods towards Jungkook as he plays pirates with the boys. He is laughing and pretending to have a hook hand, while the boys giggle and run around. The youngest claims she is the lost princess and that Jungkook has to save her. Grandma watches with joy, loving how well he gets along with the children.

“Hi.” Jungkook says out of breath from playing. He tells the kids to keep playing and that he will return shortly, they beg and whined that he stay but he says if they keep playing he will steal them some of the first cookies. The kids nod their head aggressively in agreement.

“How are you this afternoon?” he takes a seat across from her.

“Why is my granddaughter mad at you?” She smiles at Jungkook and his face drains of all color.

“Um…what do you mean?”

“Anyone with eyes knows you two have been strange all morning and afternoon.” Your grandma brings her tea to her mouth, “Maybe Manny was right, there is trouble in paradise.” She smiles again, “The key is to talk to her. Find out what’s going on.”

Jungkook groans, throwing his head into his hands. He lifts his head up again to speak but decides to just groan again in frustration.

“She won’t give me a chance to speak to her.” He admits. “She’s avoiding me.”

“Make the chance happen.” Grandma advices, “You’re a good kid, Jungkook. Even though you decided to lie to poor old me.”

“Lie?”

“You think I really couldn’t tell that you’re not really dating my granddaughter? I’ve been around too long to get fooled by something like that. But I see your feelings are real. So are hers. So why aren’t you two together?”

Jungkook sits here, absolutely stunned silent. He doesn’t know how to respond! Grandma begins sipping on her tea again when she lowers it to speak.

“Go talk to her honey. I want to see my grandbaby happy.”

“I guess we don’t have to pretend anymore.” Jungkook finally speaks.

“No, no. Keep going, it is quite entertaining, dear.” Your grandma chuckles, “Plus, it keeps Manny on her toes. Best if she thinks you are taken. Once she finds out that you are single…I fear for your life, boy.” Your grandma laughs out loud, making Jungkook join her.

“Fair enough.” He says, “But how do I…how do I get her to talk to me?”

“I’m sure you know her better than I do.” Grandma points out, “You’ll figure out what works best for her.”

And your grandma is right, he does know you best. But what will work? When you have avoided things in the past he has usually been the one to force answers out of you. Now is no different.

All the baking for the day is complete, you sit down at the table in the kitchen and let your head fall to the table top. You moan out in satisfaction that you all are finally done…how unfair that the guys got to just chill all day? Your mom has been cooking with your aunt for Christmas dinner while you and your cousins worked on pies and cookies. And they sat and drank beer. Typical.

“Hey.” You feel Jungkook’s warm breath hit your ear and you look up at him, his face so close to yours as he is leaned down to speak to you.

“Can we talk?”

“Nothing to talk about.” You lay your head back down on the table until you feel your arm being pulled upwards, causing you to stand to your feet.

“Don’t be a brat. Let’s go.” Jungkook pulls you up, and starts pulling you in the direction of the staircase.

“Let go of me.” She say weakly, “I can walk myself.”

Jungkook let’s go of your arm and instead reaches for your hand, he interlocks his fingers with yours and you roll your eyes.

“I said, I can walk myself.”

Jungkook only shakes his head in response, guiding you up the stairs until you two reach the bedroom, you both walk inside as Jungkook closes the door behind you two.

“Now talk.” He softly commands.

“Nothing to talk about?”

“y/n…” he warns and you feel your eyes start to sting.

“We fucked up, Jungkook.” You blink back the stinging in your eyes, shame, guilt, and regret joining you.

“How so?”

“What do you mean ‘How so?’” you ask incredulously. “Do you not remember the events of last night? You have a girlfriend!” you throw your hands in the air, “You are a cheater! I’m the one you cheated with…oh my god…”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at your words and he starts shaking his head. He tries walking closer to you but you only step back until your back meets the wall.

“We fucked up.” You cry out. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Jungkook asks softly. You are starting to wonder why this dude is not panicking.

“I made you a cheater.” You cry. Jungkook walks closer to you again until he’s wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You didn’t.” he whispers. “Vanessa and I…we aren’t together right now.”

You sniffle into his shoulder as you process his words…not together right now? What does that even mean?

“She broke up with me.” He begins to explain, “Said she wants to break up until New Year’s but I don’t think we will be getting back together.”

“Why not?” you whisper.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Oh.” You untangle yourself from Jungkook’s arms, “But you aren’t a cheater?”

“No.”

You sigh out in relief, a huge, long, heavy sigh. Thank God. You feel shame, guilt, and regret leave your body making you feel ten times lighter.

“So I have nothing to feel bad for?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Jungkook smiles at you, “Now can we go enjoy Christmas? I cannot wait to give you your present.”

You pull on your hair, feeling nervous suddenly. Is he just going to brush past this too? Are you two not going to bring up last night in more detail? Figure out what it means for you two? Are you two just friends who occasionally hook up? That’s not what you want. What do you want? “Sure.”

~~~~~

“Dinner was delicious, honey.” Your dad says reaching over to cup your moms cheek. “I think I ate way too much this year.”

“Oh sweetheart, you say that every year.” Your mom laughs, “What about everyone else? Eat enough?”

Everyone around the table groans in happiness, nodding their heads yes and complimenting the dinner.

“Well, I suppose we should get on to the presents portion of the evening?” Your mom stands from her chair, “Let’s all go into the living room around the tree.”

Everyone makes their way into the living room, you and Jungkook being the last two to make it inside. You two stand here awkwardly, not entirely too sure where to sit since it is a bit crowded. Your grandma points at you two with a cheeky smile.

“Mistletoe.” She yells out. “Mistletoe!”

You point at yourself in question and then at Jungkook. What mistletoe? Then you see Jungkook looking up and his face turning completely red. Oh.

“We really don’t—”

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” you hear your various family members chanting. Your parents grinning like fools as they chant as well. Your grandma winks at Jungkook and Jungkook goes even redder.

“We don’t have to Jungkook” you whisper. Jungkook clears his throat repeatedly until his face begins going back to his normal color.

“No, it’s tradition right?”

“I mean, I guess.” You shrug, you begin to turn red yourself.

“C’mere.” He reaches for your hand and pulls you in to his chest, then his other hand goes to cup your jaw. “Just one kiss.” He whispers.

You feel all his body heat enter your body, his touch making you so fucking warm. You nod your head pathetically as you tilt your head up. Jungkook smiles down at you and leans in just a bit, his forehead pressing against yours. Your eyes go to his lips, they are pink and his bottom lip is plump. Jungkook leans lower until his mouth is hovering over yours and he very innocently pecks your lips. You wish his kiss had lingered longer but it is short but sweet. He leans away from you, his forehead still pushed up against your own when you surge forward and kiss him again.

You hear the hollering of your cousin Daniel and his wife Larissa, Manny probably pouting. Your aunt and uncle are giggling and your parents laughing but telling you to behave. Your grandma snickers to herself and starts softly clapping her hands together.

“I thought I said just one?” Jungkook teases, his hand lowering to his side but his other hand keeps holding yours.

“I couldn’t help myself.” You admit confidently “Now let’s do presents!” you turn to face everyone else.

“Agreed!” your mom yells out excitedly. “First, we have Manny from Daniel…”

The night continues, everyone exchanging presents. Your parents loved their gifts, your mom thought the necklace was very thoughtful and your dad says he would love to take you to the game with him. You give Jungkook your gift, he yelps in excitement when he unwraps his gift when he sees the boots.

“Thanks baby, I know I haven’t shut up about these shoes for months!” he leans in to hug you. “Now it’s my turn.” He grins.

He searches the tree for the last gift of the night: Jungkook to you. He grabs the box and hands it to you, a shy smile making its way on his lips.

“Here, for you.” He sits back and waits for you to unwrap it. Your parents and the rest of your relatives wait as well.

“Okay, here I go.” You begin unwrapping the box, throwing the gift paper to the side on the floor and are met with a brown box. You raise a brow at Jungkook and he just smiles widely.

“Go on,” he says, “Open it.”

So you do. You carefully open the box and pull out a wooden box—a music box. The top of the music box is glass with a photo of you and Jungkook, your heart absolutely melts into two.

“Open it, open it.” He urges excitedly.

“Okay…”

You lift the top of the music box, revealing its insides. Your absolute favorite song in the world starts playing and you feel the waterworks coming. This song means everything to you. He knows it is your favorite.

“Read what it says…” he mentions shyly. “There’s a message.”

I will always believe in you. I will always support you. And I will always love you.

You read the message to yourself a few times over and you start sniffling, a few tears leaving your eyes. You look up to make eye contact with Jungkook and he smiles. You close the box and slip it back inside the box and set it to the side, you crawl towards Jungkook and hug him. Your arms wrap around his neck and you throw your head into his shoulder, and you start mumbling your thanks.

“Of course baby.” He whispers into your hair, “I mean it.”

“I know you do…” you murmur. “I know.” You sniffle harder. “And I love you more.”

You, yourself aren’t entirely sure how you meant the words ‘I love you’ in this moment. You are so overwhelmed and overjoyed that you aren’t sure if you said it platonically or romantically. All you know is that you meant it.

“That’s impossible.” Jungkook chuckles. You slowly leave his arms, feeling embarrassed now that you’re crying in front of everyone.

“What did it say?” Manny asks, “You didn’t even share!”

“Let’s leave it between the love birds.” Your grandma says.

“Love birds indeed.” Your mom grins, “Well, Santa comes nice and early tomorrow!” she says to the kids.

“Are you sure about leaving them here tonight?” Daniel asks, “Santa can come to the hotel too.”

“Don’t be silly,” your mom says, “I will put them to bed on the sofas. It will be fine.”

“Okay, we will see you all bright and early tomorrow morning then.” Larissa begins packing up their things.

“Heading out already?” Your dad asks, “Well, take some food with you.”

You and Jungkook stay seated on the floor, as the rest begin cleaning up. Your mom picks up all the gift wrapping paper off the floor while your dad puts away gifts and you and Jungkook sit side by side.

“Did you like your gift?” Jungkook inches closer to you.

“I love it, Jungkook.” You lean into his shoulder, resting your head on him. “It makes me so happy.”

“What about me…do I make you happy?”

“So happy.” You admit. “I hope I can make you this happy too.”

“You do.” Jungkook leans his head on top of yours. “Like, you have no idea.” He reaches for your hand and tangles his fingers with yours.

“Do you two want to head to bed? We got the cleaning covered.” Your mom offers. You yawn in response, showing her that you could use some sleep.

“Yeah, okay.” You accept gratefully, you stand up taking Jungkook with you. You two say your goodnight’s and head towards the stairs up to your bedroom.

“Goodnight you two.” Your grandma sings, sending a wink to Jungkook and he goes red again.

“Why does she keep winking at you?” You wonder out loud.

“No idea…” Jungkook is quick to respond. “Weird…”

When you and Jungkook get to your room, you both rush to get changed and wash up in the bathroom. He finishes before you, settling into the bed. You come in next, wearing your sleep shorts and a tank top. You turn the lights off and make your way to your bed, you slip inside and groan in satisfaction…ah, sleep time.

“Hey y/n…”

“Hm?” you sleepily roll over to your side to face Jungkook, “What’s up?”

“I just want to say…” he pauses and bites his lip. “Thanks. I just want to say thanks.”

“For what babe?”

“For bringing me for Christmas…this is the first time I have felt so at home in years.” He admits, “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I’m glad you’re happy Jungkook.”

“More than happy.” He corrects. “You have no idea what you mean to me.”

“Then tell me.”

“Can I show you instead?” Jungkook leans closer to you, tilting his head at the right angle. “Can I kiss you?”

You can’t help but swallow hard, Jungkook wants to kiss you? To show you what you mean to him? That’s romantic right? You aren’t totally reading this wrong?

“Why?” you ask, gulping down your spit.

“Because.” He breathes out softly, “Please.”

You can smell the toothpaste on his breath, you can smell his laundry detergent on his clothes, you can smell the shampoo in his hair. You inhale him and hold your breath.

“If I say no?” you blink up at him and he smiles softly.

“Then I will respect that.” He answers honestly.

With your eyes still adjusting to the darkness it is hard to see his eyes but you just know they are soft and inviting.

“Jungkook…” You scoot closer to him, moving your head to be at level with his face. “Baby…” you whimper out as you lean in closer to his face.

“Is that a yes?” He asks, his breath hitting your lips. “Because—”

Your lips find his in a slow, tender kiss. You peck his lips over and over and you can feel his lips shaping into a smile. You pull away after a few seconds, feeling breathless after the short kiss.

“Goodnight Jungkook.” You scoot down until your head hits his chest and you snuggle into it.

“Goodnight baby.” Jungkook smiles, laying on his back as he stares up at the dark ceiling. How will he find sleep tonight? His heart is racing in his chest. Are you finally starting to understand his feelings? He knows he hasn’t talked about them yet…but he will. Yes, he definitely will.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[inhale-fandoms-exhale-asdfghjkl]

Highlights of the 10umentary for me:

Brian’s special boy song

Everyone hugging. Most precious thing in the world! (I also wish I could hug everyone in Starkid)

Brian’s commentary about hugging. Actually Brian’s commentary in general is amazing.

Joey, Darren and Dylan hugging “combine your bodies to become one”

Nick trying to pretend like he’s not stressed is me always.

Brian talking to the guy in the next car who thinks he’s talking about Star Wars. “People in LA are so nice”

“Here’s Diane. Diiiiannne. She doesn’t care” a queen.

“Well I’m not finding a DAMN thing at forever 21” 😂

“Yeeah baby” - Nick is so precious I cannot.

Nick and Jon dancing at 9:42-9:45

Darren is such a sweetheart

Classic Darren missing his line 😂

“I haven’t seen a lot of people in a long time” Same Joe. Same.

Omg Britney on FaceTime 🥰

Bonnie gushing about seeing everyone again. Ahhh 🥰

Everyone jamming to “make the most of it”

Omg Carlos I forgot about he was here for this. How dare I? Ahhh 🥰

Carlos: “I decided to come incognito. You know I didn’t want anyone to recognise me on the street so um you know I tried not to advertise myself or what I do”

Also Carlos: drinks from a The Flash water bottle as he says this.

The chaoticness of Carlos and Britney trying to sing together on time on FaceTime

“Is this unusual for Starkid” “no this is how we do all our shows”. At least they’re aware on how chaotic they are.

Darren is literally seems like one of the most confident people ever so hearing him talk about how he’s intimidated by AJ and Clark is crazy to me but I love it. Again, he’s such a sweetheart.

DARREN AND DYLAN HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 20 YEARS? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? I live for this friendship.

Jaime crushing them vocals 😍 not that she ever doesn’t bc she’s a literal queen!

“That’s what happens when you lock a bunch of people in a rehearsal room and sing about bugs and... Batman”

Everyone gushing about Jim Povolo. As they should.

Just a random side point but Brian’s editing skills really don’t get enough credit. All of his bts videos have done consist of him picking one thing to just continuously play throughout the whole video which is probably just from his love of repeating any bit for as long as possible until he exhausts it. Like Nick going “I don’t have time for that”. My favourite instance of this is the AVSR bts with joe saying “it’s a funny scene” and the sunglasses over Corey. Anyway, excuse my rambling. I love Brian, okay.

Nick’s dancing montage is cinematic perfection. 24:30-25:20

Richard, lily and Jim forgetting to come in for going back to Hogwarts 😂

“We just have to make sure we know what we’re doing”. Has Starkid ever known what the hell they’re doing?

Tyler fucking up his line 😂🥰

“They’re doing Voldemort is going down? Nobody likes that song” 😂

“Did you guys hear it’s the 10 year reunion” “yeah Liam”

Joe having no fucking clue what his lines are and people just assuming he’s doing a bit is just classic Joe Walker.

“This feels like an awful fever dream. A nightmare” - Also known as the year 2020.

“For those that know me, I think I and other people make fun of me for being verbose but I’m very particular... especially when dealing with Starkid. I want it to be concise and genuine.... I haven’t been in a Starkid show in a long time so it’s nice to be able to be back” I stan a man whose aware of how extra he can be. Also have I mentioned he’s a sweetheart?

“Darren’s speech was too verbose. It has been cut down for time” Brian cutting like half the speech is so savage and I love it.

Everyone jamming out to tgwdlm is a mood

“Honestly, the Brant Chant is one of the most humiliating things that will and continues to happen in my life and the fact I already had to experience it once in this run is uh-” “I MISSED THE BRANT CHANT!?!” “It already happened” “FUCK”

“It’s consistently traumatising and a highlight for everyone else except me” poor Brant! 😂

“I think everyone just loves Brant and it happens naturally”. Same.

I saw Joe Walker Interlude come up on the screen and my first thought was “I don’t know what’s about to happen but I just know it’s gonna be great”

“Horrified audience members”

Darren recording and high-fiving everyone 🥰

“I remember very distinct first impressions of people and it’s mainly by what they eat” y’know, I might start doing this.

“Joey Richter showed up with a subway pizza and I was like you don’t do that”

Lauren Lopez pulled out over her purse just a sweet potato that was pre-cooked with no toppings. Just a shriveled pre-cooked potato” - she honestly sounds so traumatised from this 😂

Nick’s bee sting story 😂

Everyone else: admiring the fan art. Brian: “What the fuck?Where’s Superman/Junior/Flopsy?”

“YOU CANT PUT LUPIN IN IT!?” I’m sorry Brian, we all know that you’re characters are iconic.

“WHAT THE FUCK!? Oh I wasn’t in this one”

I don’t know why I laughed so hard at Darren in the background of Joey talking about his drink but it’s hilarious.

Joe having a five minute warm up song that no one else is allowed to participate in is just peak Joe.

“I cried last night but I won’t do it again” - aww I love you Nick 🥰

Meredith really is just a ball of sunshine isn’t she? I love her. I feel like I don’t talk about her enough.

“It’s been ten years and we finally learnt how to put on a show”

“What’s weird about how it’s been is how not weird it’s been. If that makes any sense” no it doesn’t Nick but we love you anyway.

This video is really just an AJ and Clark appreciation video and I am here for it.

The SKH version of to have a home is my fav version of it so I’m crying a little.

BONNNIIEEE!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

“Who knows, if America survives and the world is still habitable in the year 2029, maybe we’ll see you for the 20th” this made me laugh and cry

Liam’s got a phone call is such a bop honestly.

Also I love all the new starkids having no fucking clue about this song but just vibing with it anyway.

I literally love Starkid with my entire heart and I am so thankful for them releasing this bts finally because I needed it big time.

[mimosaeyes]

If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, Martin wants to remember him happy.

Post-199. Jon and Martin reflect on what has and could have been. 1.4k

Thanks @emberidzae and @distortion-noodles for the quick beta!

As they emerge into the hallway, Georgie pokes her head out of what must be her and Melanie’s bedroom. “Blankets and such are down that way,” she says, pointing. “Help yourself, yeah?”

If Martin weren’t observing Jon so closely, he might have missed the way he jumps at the words. Jon recovers swiftly, though. “Right. Thanks, Georgie.”

Martin hasn’t yet closed the door behind them. He leans back into the room to relay the information to Basira, only to find her already nodding and waving him off without looking up. “I heard her.”

She’s leaning against the table they’d all stood around while arguing about the plan. In her hands are two flat metal discs on a chain. It takes Martin a moment to place where he’d last seen them: hanging around Daisy’s neck.

He was slipping too far into the Lonely at the time to really pay attention, but Martin did notice that the dog tags disappeared after Daisy swore to resist the Hunt. He’s always assumed she got rid of them, destroyed them in a bid to purge the memory of her work for Section 31 — and the less than legal things she did besides.

“Found them while tracking her,” Basira explains, clearly guessing his train of thought. “She stopped wearing them, but she still carried them around. As a reminder, you know? Until…”

Until she gave in to the Entity calling her name. Until she left her humanity behind to protect her friends.

Martin swallows past a sudden lump in his throat. “If you need to talk, Basira—”

“I’m good,” she cuts him off. “I’m managing.”

He knows it’s the truth; they’d had plenty of time to catch up at the base of the cliff while Jon was recording. So he nods and leaves it at that, saying only, “Come find us anyway, if you change your mind.”

Her expression softens even as her voice takes on a wry edge. “Go on,” she chivvies, “go be soppy with your boyfriend somewhere else.”

“Somewhere far away from you, you mean?”

Basira snaps her fingers. “Got it in one. Always knew you were the smart one.”

The bedding Georgie mentioned turns out to be a huge pile of unrolled sleeping bags and unfolded blankets. The sight is amusingly incongruous for the three seconds it takes Martin to realise that these used to belong to the cult members, who have since been dragged back to their domains.

Gingerly, he steps forward to take what they need. Jon helps, his face stony.

They duck into the first empty room they come across and lay down enough padding to save their backs from the hard floor. Martin fusses with the makeshift bed while Jon stands and starts pacing.

Everything in Martin is saying to go to him and wrap him up in another hug, make up for the one Jon had pulled out of while his hands were still shaking and his cheeks still wet with tears. But he watches the tense lines of his body and thinks that Jon would only flinch away from comfort if he offered it again. So he sits down, leaving some space for Jon to join him when he’s ready, and waits.

It takes several minutes for Jon to look up at him. When he does, he bites his lip and says, “I’m sorry. It’s already been decided, I know, and I’m sick of rehashing the same old arguments with you.”

Martin lets out a short exhale. “I know. If the plan doesn’t work — I don’t want to spend our last hours together fighting.”

Jon blanches a little. “Hours,” he repeats softly, starting to shake his head. “I wish we had more time.”

“You don’t mean, uh… put it off, do you?” Martin doesn’t think he does, but it’s worth clarifying.

“What? Oh, no. Of course not.”

The huff of laughter that accompanies Jon’s words is gratifying. Martin decides to lean into it. “Because that would be a truly record-breaking act of procrastination,” he points out.

Jon smiles lopsidedly. “Speak for yourself. You haven’t seen me try to start writing an essay in university.”

“Fair enough,” Martin concedes, smiling back at him.

After a moment, Jon sobers again. “I mean, maybe we wouldn’t have been together, if not for all this, but — if I had to do it all over again, I think I’d waste less time. I’d… I don’t know, I’d tell you I’d missed you while I was abroad. Maybe admit that there were a couple of times when I didn’t really need your help looking something up, but called you anyway, so I could hear your voice.”

Martin blinks, momentarily surprised. Then he crows, “I knew it! I knew there wasn’t really a place called Desert Bluffs. I looked for mentions of it in statements for days, and the whole time you were — ha, you were bluffing.”

Good-naturedly, Jon rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I’m terrible at coming up with fake names on the spot.”

“But that would mean…” Martin furrows his brow at Jon. “That was when you were in America. And you already…”

Jon has been gradually closing the distance between them as they’ve talked. Now he eases himself down next to Martin, as always favouring the leg Sasha had once dug a worm out of with a corkscrew, and says simply, “Yes. I already knew I loved you. Maybe I wasn’t in love with you, not yet, but… yes.”

Martin will never get used to hearing Jon say he loves him. He knows he does, and it still takes his breath away every time. But right now, with a handful of hours until the morning, it makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his chest.

“You’re right,” he says quietly. “I wish we’d gotten our act together sooner.”

Beside him, Jon pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping one arm around his legs and extending his other hand in Martin’s direction. Martin holds onto his hand, and they stay like that for a spell.

They’ve made an unspoken compact to not only avoid fighting on this last night, but also to keep things light. They’ve had so few wholly good days together, Martin reflects. If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, he wants to remember him happy. He wants to make the time they have count.

He nudges Jon, letting his voice grow teasing again. “Hey. If I got to do it all over again, I’d ask you out on a kayaking date.”

“That’s... pretty specific,” Jon remarks.

“Tim gave me the idea. Early, early on, when he would make fun of me for having a crush on the boss. I’d bring you some tea and come back to my desk to find he’d texted me a link to a nearby kayak rental service. It was a different one each time, too.”

“You have to admire the commitment.” Jon pauses. “Can two people even fit in the same kayak?”

“I thought of that. There are tandem kayaks. I was going to win you over with my superior rowing skills.”

Jon laughs. “I think it would’ve worked.”

From just outside the door comes a rustling noise. Basira, probably, holding an armful of sleeping bag and looking for a place to bed down for the night.

After she goes past, Jon says ruefully, “We should probably get some rest.”

He looks about as tired as Martin feels. But everything now seems tinged with an air of finality. If they go to sleep, it might be the last time they curl up together. And it’ll make the morning come sooner.

It’s irrational, but he blurts out, “Not yet. I… I’m not ready.”

To say goodnight. To say goodbye.

Jon cants his head at him, and Martin wonders how transparent his thoughts are, playing across his features.

“Me neither,” Jon murmurs. He leans in closer and presses a kiss to Martin’s forehead. “Me neither.”

They stay up and talk, facing each other in bed. Neither of them has ever had a sleepover at a friend’s place, they discover, and yet this feels like that. Jon tells him about the lake he and Basira traversed, making it sound absolutely dreadful without Martin there to help with rowing. Martin starts describing Life of Pi and other movies Jon may never get to watch. Several times, he asks if Jon is sleeping with his eyes open, then laughs as he denies it.

In the end, Martin doesn’t even remember falling asleep — only that Jon is there with him, and that’s almost enough.

[also available on AO3 here]

[my TMA fic on AO3]

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.1

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick?) au, sugar daddy au, fluff, pining, angst rating: mature words: 4.1k warnings: mentions of blood and violence, unconventional relationship, angsty themes, smoking mention a/n: this is jeongguk as john wick because i’m trash and i cant finish one story at a time. these prompts r from here btw :) im gonna do all 50 but im too lazy rn so here’s the first 10 :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

Now, it definitely was not a stretch to assume that everything in Jeongguk’s life was indeed unconventional. People didn’t need to understand that what Jeongguk did for work was something that, by the law, was considered unprofessional and inhumane, and so when asked, Jeongguk sufficed for “boss of a company”, and questions weren’t asked. If they were, Jeongguk came up with a slightly more conventional lie, to make up for the reality that was Jeongguk working on the clock, killing nobodies for a bit of cash.

Taehyung, his right-hand man, had expressed how unconventional Jeongguk seemed to be over a dinner in Venice, a little restaurant tucked away unconventionally in a street that did not belong to America. Jeongguk spoke four languages comfortably, and had parents retiring in the Canary Islands. Jeongguk donated money to women’s charities and mental health services, and helped bribe his cousins into Ivy Leagues when racism prevented them from entry. Jeongguk was a Joe-Exotic in the making and owned a rescue black panther named Elio, and had houses across the globe for use when working. And, Jeongguk was dipping his toes into playing house with a sugar baby who was only five years younger than him, of whom he had met in a stakeout which involved the hit being on your brother’s head. Unconventionally, you led him to his target, and afterwards, dined with him in a Thai restaurant.

Things in Jeongguk’s life were far from ordinary, but perhaps it was the denial of mundane comforts that kept Jeongguk going. If he went back to normality, to working a shitty customer service job like when he was seventeen, dumping trash into overflowing piles behind the off-license he worked at, things wouldn’t be the same. Jeongguk would feel alien, like he didn’t belong. At least here, amongst the pain and the bullets and the years worth of trauma packed in his wrinkles (which, yes, if he looks hard enough, he can see some cursing his twenty five year old skin), Jeongguk felt like he sort of belonged. In an unconventional way.

Having met Jeongguk during his line of work, there were difficulties in being Jeongguk’s sugar baby. For one, he always felt guilty for having murdered your brother, even though you heavily supported the hit. Your brother was a jerk, a bully with money, someone who had wronged your entire family, turned off your younger sister’s life support when there was a chance of her survival. Asshole, he deserved it. Secondly, Jeongguk was impractical and irrational and often acted selfishly, meaning he was often out of the country on work, only available in whispers for a few hours and then he was gone, compensating with a few sums of cash.

He tried his best. Jeongguk, despite technicalities including his work and his past and his occasional mean streak, genuinely cared about other people. When he could, he made the effort, otherwise not attempting to make promises to you that he could not keep. Jeongguk knows that he got really lucky when he found you. You didn’t ask questions. Nobody was better for him.

However, Jeongguk was selfish, and broken, and in refusal of fixing what was wrong with him. When it was of convenience, Jeongguk drew comparisons to the last girlfriend he tried to entertain. One who wronged him, and died when he tried to repair everything she had destroyed. Jeongguk carries that with him like the tattoos on his skin, a permanent memory, and something that often disturbs what could be and should be between the both of you.

Jeongguk is worthy of love, and capable of loving. On days where Jeongguk is free to lounge without the guilt of not working, you find it is so easy to love him. But, it can’t be that way. You couldn’t just tell him that. Telling him that you loved him would be inappropriately unconventional. Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears it again.

(1) Holding their hands when they are shaking.

Jeongguk is in his living room, his right leg bouncing like a spring as he cradles an infant glass of whiskey. His eyes are glazed, yet wide, staring at the Seoul city draped in darkness and neon, and without even looking inside, you know that his brain is spinning, thoughts chaotic and loud.

“Hey,” you call out to him, and his eyes stutter to the left to catch you in the doorway, “I heard you get up. What’s wrong?”

Jeongguk shakes his head gently. “Nothing, baby, go back to bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Jeongguk often makes comments without expectancies. You stand in the doorway that connects the living room to the long hall that stems into bedrooms and bathrooms, and watch him for a moment. His whole body vibrates like a speaker, his hands trembling as the glass drains and he reaches for a second, or a third, or maybe a tenth. You want to sigh, without being patronising, but you know that any sign of sympathy is mistaken for that whenever Jeongguk is around to make the judgement.

He looks back to the skyline and frowns, his attention panning from the window to his phone that buzzes blue, but he ignores. Stepping across the cool wooden floorboards, you approach him sleepily and take a seat next to him on the sofa. Neither of you move, but he recognises you’ve moved. He bristles slightly, like it was unexpected.

“You can take your time,” you suggest to him, and his hands ache in his lap as he sets the glass down on the coffee table with a careless thud. He scoffs, devoid of emotion, and dips his head so his chin is near his collarbones. In his lap, those hands shake. “Maybe don’t drink so much tonight.”

“I’m clearing my head,” he insists weakly. Those hands still shake.

Brows creased with a pinch, you swallow the unease and reach for his hands. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything as you do so, enveloping his hands in yours, and so suddenly the shaking ceases. Like trying to block the shakes from reaching his wrists, your hands keep his safe.

“I know,” you understand honestly, because you do know what he’s going through. “How about tea, or something? To calm down, calm down the mess that’s up in there.”

Your chin is on his shoulder, and he smiles softly. “Are you calling me messy?”

“Nah, I’m calling your brain messy,” you reply. “It’s a cruel fucking brain.”

“Hate my brain.”

“Today, we hate it.”

Jeongguk’s head turns slightly so that he can see you, and in his lap, his thumbs brush across your skin.

“Thank you,” Jeongguk says quietly, attempting a smile that doesn’t quite convince. It doesn’t necessarily have to, not tonight anyway. His phone continues to flash like a light show, Taehyung’s name in bold. “Fuck. I’ll take the call, and then I’ll come back to bed, okay?”

You nod, “Mm, okay. Want me to make a drink?”

“I don’t need it,” Jeongguk concludes. “Not today.”

(2) Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

Sometimes Jeongguk wakes up in the night due to nightmares, but tonight, it’s different.

Beside him, you stir uncomfortably and kick his leg for the fourth time. He huffs and looks over, trying to figure out if you’re awake and indignant, or lost in the dream. He settles on the latter when you strain out the name of your brother and his heart swoops with a dull ache.

“You’re just dreaming, baby, come on,” Jeongguk mutters quietly into your ear, holding you in place to calm the thrashing. “He’s not here anymore, I’m here. Y/N.”

It subsides after a few minutes, making it the longest you’ve gone on record. He looks into your sleepy, upset eyes as you break awake and brushes the hair out of your face. He tries to smile for you, and maybe you can’t see in the dark.

“I’ll get you some water,” Jeongguk suggests gently. “Hm? Sweet thing. It’s just a dream.” He says this into your hair in a hug, leaving a kiss on your temple as he breaks. “You’re fine.”

“I’m fine,” you breathe uneasily, and he separates to get a glass of water and returns to find you sleeping again. What relief Jeongguk might have is exhaled as he sets the glass on the bedside table, stroking your hair until he moves away with the sudden realisation that this is not a normal exchange.

Before Jeongguk decides to leave again, he makes sure the bed is made and that you are safe; he tucks the duvet in tightly and presses a kiss to your forehead before grabbing his coat by the front door and leaving your apartment, one tucked in the city so far that Jeongguk finds it a hassle to visit.

(3) Travelling long distances just to see them.

For three days now, you have been in Colmar, and Jeongguk is beginning to feel lonely. It had been his idea to send you away, when the heat on his long, long fued with a rival colleague threatened your safety. In return, you got a new apartment that Taehyung had found closer to Jeongguk’s own when your address got leaked, and Colmar could be considered a vacation if you pretended for long enough.

With tensions cool and the coast somewhat clear, Jeongguk picks the skin around his fingernails as a distraction before deciding that enough was enough. He missed you, and missed how you were always around for him when he needed you most. This is what drives him to jumping on a plane in his company’s name, and flying to France.

A small boat passes underneath the bridge you are standing on, and your hands dig into the barrier as you arch to smile at the tourists beneath. One catches a glimpse of your denim skirt and cherry print blouse in the sunshine and extends his hat with a wave, and you wave back. France is nothing like Seoul, and is indeed warm and fruitful and unique. The sun is hot, the sky is clear, and the streets are filled with an atmospheric buzz of friendliness, the smell of coffee and some food you don’t know yet entrapping your senses.

“Madame, je peux vous prendre en photo?”

Hearing the voice, you turn your body left and prepare to face the tourist, but instead you are welcomed with the sight of Jeongguk dressed in black, sunglasses sliding down his nose with a smile. He does hold a camera in his hands, although teasingly.

“Oui,” you quip, posing cutely and Jeongguk takes a photograph anyway, to humour the moment, to print when he gets back to Seoul. You join his laughter as he peers at the photograph and he walks without looking up towards you.

“When did you get here?” you ask him, a round of laughter from the little boat making you turn to stare at them with a giggle.

“Bout an hour ago,” Jeongguk replies, and he shuts off the camera and puts it in his coat pocket. It’s only a small camera, probably cost him a crumb to buy from a vintage store. He meets your eyes with a comfortable smile and rounds in, pressing your lower back against the bridge barrier and circling your arms around you. Carefully, then, he kisses you, tasting the suncream on your skin as his lips wander from yours to the skin around your face.

“Miss me?”

“Terribly,” Jeongguk responds. “I am so bored when you’re not around. You always have something to do, always have something to say.”

You hum in response. “I’m glad I’m of some entertainment for you.”

“Oh, for sure,” agrees Jeongguk. “I don’t think I’ve used my brain so often when I’m away from work as much as I do when I’m with you. Did you know that you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met?”

“Wow,” you exclaim with a smile. “Hire me.”

“Ha!” he remarks, kissing you again and taking your hand in his. He moves, back in the way you came. “Over my dead body.”

(4) Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.

“You.”

“Not now, Y/N, I’m working,” Jeongguk replies non committedly. He fists his hair.

“Not up for discussion right now,” you huff, and he has the nerve to glare at you which only makes you uncomfortably angry. “You haven’t eaten in fourty eight hours, and I’m not about to be held responsible for your death when you die of hunger, so get your ass in the kitchen before I dump this food over your stupid head.”

He challenges you. “You’re brave talking to somebody who could destroy your life like that.”

“Do it, I literally have nothing to lose,” you answer. “Please eat something. I made it with love and care.”

Jeongguk relents, sighing at his paperwork but nonetheless moving away from his home office and following you like a child towards the direction of the kitchen. He feels bad, you know he feels bad, and he circles his arms around your body as you walk, stumbling into the space of the kitchen and smelling the familiar aroma of pork rice stew. Alas, he sees the bowl steaming in his spot at the table and his eyes follow you as you hum and set start to washing the dishes.

“Y/N-”

“No words, just eating,” you instruct. “Bone apple tit.”

He grins, then, and takes a seat. “You know that’s not the phrase, right?”

“Tell that to Twitter,” you sigh.

(5) Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

Jeongguk prefers to see you when he doesn’t have work the next day, because leaving when you’re asleep is an asshole move in any dictionary. So, when one of his men phones him at four in the morning and relays the horror that someone’s died on his property, Jeongguk has to fight the demons that almost convince him to hand the job over to somebody who gives a fuck about the intruder stuck on his barbed fence.

He gets up, anyway.

Next to him, in the bed that belongs to you because this is your new apartment, Jeongguk stares down at you and feels a tug in his stomach. Guilt, it follows him everywhere like a ghost.

Before he leaves, he likes to give you a little kiss for the morning, so the tingling sensation reminds you that despite being an asshole and leaving without properly saying goodbye, he still gives several shits about you, and will be back when he can be.

(6) Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.

Jeongguk wants to hang Taehyung for making him remember the reasons why you had to move across the city to a new apartment.

It had, of course, been Jeongguk’s fault, and when the notification came from an exhausted worker in his line of work that the alarm system in your apartment had been triggered for an intruder, Jeongguk remembers all he saw was red.

The front door was forced open, a body indent in the wood and the front porch ransacked and littered with shards of glass and bullets. Inside was no prettier, with mess scattered everywhere and photos smashed on the floors. The carpets were stained with red that Jeongguk prayed was just wine, the glass coffee table in two pieces and a knife covered in red on the floor. Jeongguk and his men, along with the few police officers Jeongguk could actually trust in this god-forsaken hellhole, noticed that the blood belonged to one of the intruders who lay dead on the stairs.

Nobody knows how Jeongguk got through the apartment so fast, and why, without any hesitation, he murdered the remaining intruders without suggesting questioning and torture. That was his go-to when it rarely concerned you. He wanted those stupid enough to even try and go after you to really fucking regret it as he picked off fingernails and made them suffer for hours or days. This time he just killed, and moved onwards, calling your name like a mantra.

Jeongguk could have cried when you emerged, petrified, from inside one of the closets. Upon seeing you, Jeongguk collapsed his gun on the floor and stepped towards you protectively, pulling you in tightly for a hug. Sobbing into his neck, you hugged him tighter, feeling finally safe when his hand held the back of your head, like you were a precious thing that was of value.

You were of the highest value to Jeongguk.

“Fuck you,” Jeongguk barks suddenly, and Taehyung shrugs and exits the office. All he had asked was if he loved you.

(7) Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

There might be the assumption that Jeongguk comes home with more bruises than you do. Which is true, technically, and there’s no hesitation from your end in nursing them to a comfortable recovery.

On rare occasion, Jeongguk comes home and finds you exhibiting a new purple blob on your skin. Like today. 

Jeongguk hasn’t seen you in two days, and when he lets himself into your apartment with the key he has glued to him at all times, he follows the silence and light to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of your bathtub, gently rubbing cream on your knee in little circles.

“What happened here?” he asks quickly, and you continue rubbing with your tongue poking out between your lips.

“You’ll laugh, don’t ask,” you mutter.

“Hey, I won’t laugh,” Jeongguk says. He rests his weight against the doorframe, “You open the front door the wrong way again?”

Ha! You laugh humourlessly. “Worse!” You look up at him sadly, “I tripped in the parking lot carrying my groceries. It’s on camera and everything, I want to die.”

Jeongguk pokes the inside of his mouth to resist laughing. “Well, fuck. That’s your leg ruined.”

“I know,” you pout. “Good thing you’re my sugar daddy- wanna pay for cosmetic leg surgery?”

“I like your bruised up legs,” says Jeongguk.

“Me too, but not these ones.”

“Bruh, that’s enough cream on your skin,” Jeongguk exclaims, moving forward to snatch the cream from your hands. “More is not better. Come on, you’re okay.”

“It hurts.”

“Boohoo,” he sighs. You don’t move. “Ugh, whatever. Come’re.”

Jeongguk drops the cream tube onto the sink but it clatters into the bowl. He’ll move it later if he remembers to, and he pretends it’s hard to pick you up off the bathtub and carries you swiftly out of the bathroom and into the living room. Things have barely moved since he last came to visit; the swarms of paper still invade your coffee table and your laptop is on sleep mode by a half-empty coffee cup filled with hot chocolate, because he knows your standing on coffee. Everything is a lot messier now that you’ve decided you want to go back to school, but at least Jeongguk knows it keeps you busy when he’s away.

“Oh,” he says suddenly, as you’re sat down with one leg up around him still. He pokes at a spot on your leg and you squirm, “there’s another one.”

You peer to look, “Oh, yeah, that one’s you.”

“Oh.” He pauses, “Pretty, though.”

You huff like a little baby and he dares you with raised eyebrows. That keeps you silent and Jeongguk moves his body at an angle to the right, sweeping to kiss the bruise better, the bruise that he made a few nights ago with tender love and care.

“All better,” he assures.

“It feels better already.”

“Mm. Magic.”

(8) Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

“So, I was at a school fayre today.”

“Really?” Jeongguk sits with his laptop on his legs, and your legs are tangled around his body like some sort of jungle maze. He rarely works on his bed, not unless the work is sudden and he can’t help it. You’ve just come in, dived on the bed and claimed his waist as something to squeeze your legs around.

“Yep. Like, one of those little craft things where students sell their shit and make money from it. You know, supporting local artists! It’s really cute, if I was good at something I’d have participated.”

Jeongguk thinks of things you’re good at, and there’s a lot. “Aw. There’s always next year.”

“Yeah,” you reason. “Anyway- point is, is that I got you something.”

Jeongguk stills for a second, glancing over his right shoulder to see you, “Me?”

“Yep. You.”

“What did you get?” he asks, and then he’s back to checking blueprints.

You untangle your legs and slide off the bed, retreating to your bag slung across the room by the bedroom door. From here, you take out a small little pin-badge and when you’re sat next to Jeongguk again, you fiddle with it until it catches his attention.

“What’s this?” asks Jeongguk.

“It’s a badge of honour,” you claim, and you slip it into his palms. He fingers the front when he examines it, reading the little words of “Number One Dad” and he stares up at you. “Like it?”

“It’s for me?” he asks again.

“Yeah. You can wear it and like, I don’t know, think of me,” you shrug.

Jeongguk thinks for a moment. Even though it’s stupid, and cliche and a little bit embarrassing, he still thinks it’s funny and thoughtful.

“Want me to wear it to work?” he asks you.

“Oh, absolutely,” you encourage. “I’ll get Taehyung an uncle badge if he gets pissy.”

“Hey, you’re mine and he’s not allowed a relationship to you, no matter what definition,” Jeongguk pouts. “He wants a sugar niece, well...he’ll have to look somewhere else.”

You gape. “Wow. Who thought you had it in you to be so possessive.”

“Please, with a pussy like that of course I’m possessive,” he teases. He’s joking.

“My power,” you sigh anyway, and jump off the bed claiming that you’re hungry. Jeongguk looks at the badge again and pops it in his breast pocket before he loses it and regrets it.

(9) Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

Jeongguk’s bored out of his brain.

He has no idea how you can be so fascinated by this stupid game where you’re essentially in debt, but he still sits and watches you tour him around this weird island that is inhabited by ducks and an ugly gorilla villager dressed in pink. And to think that he had a part to play in all of this, because his bank account definitely helped pay for this Nintendo Switch and game.

“Do you like my beach?” you ask him. It’s literally just sand and one coconut tree, and a few shells by the water. Oh, there’s a beach chair on there too, but it makes little difference. “I’m poor, I can’t afford furniture yet.”

“Can’t you just make it?”

“I can, but I’m sick of making axes to collect wood,” you explain with a grudge against the fact that tools now break in this Animal Crossing game. Jeongguk hums like he’s invested, and he tries to be, because he cares about you too much to unintentionally hurt your feelings by displaying his crippling disinterest.

“Oh. Makes sense.”

“Can I show you my hybrid flower garden?”

He sighs. “Yeah, you wanted to show me all of your island, right?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Once you’ve had a tour, I can make you a profile and you can play too. You can live next door to me!”

“Why can’t we share a house?” Jeongguk presses.

“Because I don’t think it works like that, babe,” you confess. “Anyway. Here’s my garden.”

(10) Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.

He’s tired. You’re tired.

The radio plays quietly updating Seoul on the fires that spread across the city today, and Jeongguk smells like smoke and salt. He keeps his head down as he eats his meal, something he brought home with him to make up for the fact that he’s been absent for almost a week now. You have so many things to say and he has so many things he needs to say to make up for everything, but nothing is said tonight.

You know he’s having a hard time, because Jeongguk’s been smoking again. He smoked on the balcony earlier, and once again in the bedroom. There are now ashtrays around your own apartment, and you don’t even smoke. Jeongguk takes a drink of bourbon and swallows it dry.

You look up at him from across the table, not wanting to press the issue when you know it’ll end in an argument, and then sex to make up for it. You’re both too tired to fuck today, too tired to speak. Just being in each other's company is enough for tonight. The only words he says are goodnight and something you don’t catch as you’re drifting off to sleep. Jeongguk’s awake all night, the fires burn until early hours, and the smoke smell is still there in the morning even when he isn’t.