#for what for all but myself

[not-rude-ginger]

I love your story"For what, for all but myself," it's so good! I do wonder though, what would have happened had JC actually died. Like we know what practically would have happened but grief is messy even at the best of times. I dunno I just like angst.

Ah, so you want the bad timeline! OK let me see...

The immediate fallout is WWX and JL screaming, crying, throwing up. The only thing the doctors can do is present them with Jiang Xi. JL takes him and holds him, thinking he's warm -- he holds JC's last warmth. He huddles around JX, and so we have the first split, because WWX is still wailing over JC's body, gabbling about ways the doctors should try to bring him back. However the doctors can't do anything more -- JC is already gone. WWX starts thinking aloud about how to reanimate him, but the doctors make it very clear they will not let him, and when he starts getting YLLZ about it, they point out that JC's will states that WWX is not to interfere with his body, and in fact is not allowed to have any involvement with his funeral preparations, because JC was afraid he would try something.

This shakes WWX deeply, that JC was so prepared for him, but he still fights LWJ trying to pull him away until one of the doctors knocks him out with a needle.

JL uses his fixation on JX to keep his grief at bay, so he sets about initiating the plans JC laid out. JSH is named sect protector, the other guardians are called to move into the family residence, and then JL announces the news to the sect, all the while still clutching JX. It's only when JX has to feed that JL can be persuaded to let him go and then when his arms are empty JL is overwhelmed with grief. He cries in JSH's arms and JSH's eldest daughter helps take care of him.

They keep WWX under while preparing for the funeral, worried what he might try. JL tells LWJ he must keep WWX from doing anything to JC, no matter how much WWX begs. They do let him attend the funeral and he's unable to keep his composure, everyone is afraid of him turning back into YLLZ.

LXC returns to seclusion following the funeral -- he put too much hope into the relationship he wanted with JC, and can't cope with the loss. NHS is full of regrets.

The rest of the Jianghu is reeling that Sandu Shengshou could stop the resentful cloud and save them all, but bled out during surgery. They eye JX in JL's arms with deep suspicion.

Once the funeral is over, WWX starts coping by fixating on JX, i.e. he doesn't cope at all and distracts himself. He hovers around JX all the time, won't let him out of his sight, sleeps next to the crib, follows the wet nurses around -- JL wants to stay and help, but he has to go back to LLJ as JC would have wanted so he has to say good bye and go home and grieve by himself. Except the other juniors follow him and stay with him in LL.

WWX stays in YMG, he won't leave LP, not even when LWJ is called back to CR to help LQR with running the sect because LXC is in seclusion again. Their parting is messy, not a break up but not a simple 'traveling for work' split either. LWJ is conflicted between his primal possessive jealousy and his basic decency that understands why this is the way things are. He can't even be angry that JC died, because he knows the man tried so hard to stay. He feels a grief he cannot process, for someone he did not like, but had come to somewhat respect and recognise how important their existence was for the running of things.

YMJ is desperately grieved by the loss, the kids are all crying, the disciples insist on bowing and mourning the correct way over and over. Some ask to travel, others want to stay and make sure nothing bad ever happens to their precious new sect leader. JL visits frequently, bringing gift after gift because he feels it's all he can give. Eventually Granny has to tell him Tadpole needs no more new things, he needs JL to be his tangxiong, who will tell him what it was like to be parented by JC when he's older, who will hug him and tell him he's brilliant and brave, just like his a-die.

Much like with LSZ, WWX is more of a fun uncle than a guardian Bobo, although he does learn how to change a nappy, burp the baby and rock him to sleep. When he's not looking after JX, he's working with the Plum Blossoms on new defenses for the sect, he goes to Conferences and watches the other sect leaders with deep suspicion, waiting for one of them to slip and expose their nefarious schemes for YMJ.

Still, as he gets bigger and goes from baby to toddler to child, JX is a source of great joy for many. He reminds Granny of JC at that age, everything he does is amazing for WWX, who sees so much of JC and JYL in him, and after being involved with his rearing, even from afar, JL decides to find a wife and raise a family, making sure that JX is close with his cousins.

They never stop missing JC, his absence is a physical thing, but JX was a worthy thing to die for, and exactly the sort of thing JC would die for. JX sometimes feels overwhelmed by the feeling he should be filling in all the gaps JC left behind -- especially with WWX who seems to sometimes forget that JX is not JC. However JL, who knows that feeling, makes sure he knows they don't expect it, and if they do, it's not his problem.

As he becomes a teen and goes to CR for lessons, some of his peers are suspicious and nasty to him because of his origins. They don't know whether to call him a bastard or abomination, but YMJ's disciples and then LWJ when he overhears, step in to punish and correct them. WWX returns to the Jingshi so he can be nearby if JX needs him.

JSH runs the sect very well, they don't have the same micromanagement habit of JC, but they helped him build YMJ into the smoothly running machine it is, so they simply continue the pattern, always thinking about how JC would handle a situation before acting. They hold onto the role of protector until JX is 21, allowing him time to mature. With JL now grown and a father, and an experienced sect leader, they keep the balance in the jianghu - not that LXC or NHS are in any way interested in messing that up.

Ultimately JX grows up pretty well, venerating the father who died for him, taking on the lessons of JSH, Granny, LH, WWX, JL and everyone else who helped raise him to become a sect leader JC would be proud off. He looks so like his father, but his personality is much softer, unafraid to show his feelings in a way JC never was. JC would say his son is the better version of him -- the kind his own parents would be proud of.

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[hinamie]

10 years later

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[akanemnon]

THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE (emotional damage that is)

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[egophiliac]

he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!

PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE

[comfymoth]

i’m mad this is my most liked post right now so look at my cat instead lol

[soranker]

my girlfriend

[glorious-spoon]

i know we all laugh (mostly fondly) about the paper-thin plots in porn that only exist to make the sex happen, but i was reading some old stargate fic over the weekend, and i really think we're sleeping on the paper-thin hurt/comfort plot that only exists to force the characters to FEEL THINGS.

like, is this scenario realistic? no. does it make any rational sense? no. does it provide a built-in excuse for a character to collapse, bloody and disoriented, into the arms of his beloved/friend/partner? obviously, that's the whole point of this exercise.

i love it. it's my favorite thing in the world.

[not-rude-ginger]

"He let out a horrified noise, a sudden crystallisation of what Jiāng Chéng had been dealing with for months overwhelming him." (WWX)

Been rereading my favorite chapters of For What and omg, his ass could not have delt with the consequences of his actions had the switcheroo been successful.

That was a last minute addition and I am glad I put it in.

God I don't wanna imagine what would have happened if the switch deception had worked. It might have just killed WWX immediately, his body having no ability to cope and no core to help.

Then when they open him up and find what's inside.

JC would probably die too, from shock, a broken heart - something.

So you'd end with No WWX. No Tadpole. No JC.

LWJ and JL would be sad.

[doberbutts]

Transphobes scaremonger about doctors not telling you the risks of HRT

But what my doctor didn't warn me about is that at some point your body hair reaches a level of length and fuzziness that means you need to do some amount of conditioning and brushing/combing or you will be very uncomfortable because your body hair will start to try to mat

[bibliosims]

titania | an upper body tattoo. ⊹₊ ⋆

download | sfs (free, no ads)

TOU: do not reupload and never put this behind a paywall !

previews and more under the cut !

meet titania, my first tattoo (and ts4 cc) ever ! i’ve so enjoyed working on this little project and am already planning out the next one ! enjoy :)

psa the back tattoo warps kind of weirdly on certain masc frames, sorry ! also, there are 10 individual swatches per 3 opacity options, so technically it's 30 swatches overall

also feel free to tag me if u use these ! it’d be cool to see these in the wild 🫶🏻

thumbnail previews:

unedited previews:

•☽────✧˖°˖ art by william heath robinson for shakespeare's a midsummer night's dream ˖°˖✧────☾•

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[hinamie]

mentor