#forever calling him gorgeous nathan

[twin-books]

Can you draw redraw with this cuties!?

https://at.tumblr.com/sashamoon19/704241433319784448/99wl4qlai8a5

This concept art features Gorgeous Nathan from the gym club (AKA Pre Felix) and Marietta (Or Marinette)!

You have very nice drawings,I like it,Dude!!Very beautiful and creativity.Your drawings are just a masterpiece!!!

Firstly, I must thank you for helping me identify that the dude in this concept is Gorgeous Nathan. I always thought he couldn't be Felix because he seemed different, and it's not just because of the outfit, though that's a heavy reason. I never thought about it being Gorgeous Nathan but that does make the most sense. Also, I must say I very much appreciate you referring to him by his full title. Beautiful. We always appreciate Gorgeous Nathan from the Gym Club. (I will bully this man relentlessly for this title, I swear). For those who don't like using links that they can't be sure where they lead, this is the image anon is talking about:

Anyway, I'm not sure if you were actually asking me to draw them separately or redraw this image. I went with redrawing it. I do have this image and I very much love it more compared to the final product. So I decided to redraw it based on what ended up being the final product and on this sketch version. The final product involves the weird combination of Marinette and "Bridgette" and Felix. There was not much else in the scene besides two people and a car and while I liked the focus on Felix and "Bri" it looked so barren and lifeless somehow compared to all other concept images. That isn't to say the art is bad, of course. The art was very, very good. It just didn't have quite the same life I loved about the other concepts so it's one of my least favorites. Here's them compared side by side:

I quite liked the sketch because of life it had and I wanted to somehow mimic that without people so I decided to add a lot more plant life and hopefully bring more "energy" you could say. I'm not sure I did it justice. I also did some very sloppy coloring because I thought it would be fun. I don't really love the outfit Marietta have so I did my best with what I was provided. That's one of the things I preferred about the final image. I will say I couldn't help myself and added Marietta's necklace even though this isn't quite the Marietta we know because she seemed to have the more Marinette-like bangs.

But here it is... I did my best. I much prefer the original products myself but this was fun. I recommend clicking on it. This image is big so Tumblr makes it look worse. XD

I really had to deconstruct this image. I went through tracing the very basic shapes of it to get the basic idea of the energy then I went to making my own building blocks so I could draw my own style over top of that then it was redrawing it all over again and so forth and so on... I basically drew this image multiple times. Can't say I'm all that thrilled with this one. I actually don't quite like it. But I do try to be honest about my art journey. I am one of those artists who believes it's the fun that's important and I had a whole lot of fun making it. Except Gorgeous Nathan's head. That wasn't fun. Very unfun. You think I would hate his hands but no it was his freaking head. Ironic since that's the stuff I draw the most; heads and faces. I hope you at least like it, even just a little bit. Maybe one day I can draw them again without trying to measure up to someone else's work, I suppose. That's probably what threw me off a lot, that I really wanted to do it justice even though I knew this would be a very simple drawing. Thanks for the request! It was very fun to draw this version of the characters! I also very much like the story this one tells! Also anon, I gotta ask... are you the same anon sending me all the wonderful asks in my inbox? I, of course, appreciate them but it did get me curious! I hope you're having a wonderful day, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever time it is where you are! <3

[angst-fairygodmother]

with Nathan Young for @anon242000

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out darling, I have been having A Time these last few weeks. I hope you enjoy it!

Word Count: 442

Rating: G - no warnings? I mean, don't try this at home, but it's Misfits so I feel like that goes without saying

Spotify Wrapped Mini Fics

Nathan Young wasn’t just a person. He was a force of nature, an experience, an impossibility. He was loud and fast and your lungs burned to keep up as he went sprinting and screaming through the world, sometimes literally. It was hard not to love him, even for the people that didn’t even seem to like him sometimes like Alisha or Curtis, and you had given up trying. 

“Come on, y/n, your turn!” he called, encouraging you to try and surf down the ice-slick ramp of the car park on one of the lunch trays pilfered from the community center cafeteria. 

Everything Nathan did was called. Or shouted. Sometimes laughed. It was bright, burning at the core and pulling you, and the others, like a moth to a flame. 

You smiled at him, heart fizzing when he returned the expression from the base of the incline. You glanced at the rest of your friends: Kelly bored and staring out over the lake, Alisha shivering in her denim jacket that was much too light for the season, Simon filming everyone's runs, and finally Curtis, sighing as if he was bored and above it all (even though he never really was, and you'd tease him for it later). And then you charged.

You knew it couldn't last forever. 

The only thing more inevitable than Nathan Young was that luck ran out. No matter how you tried to stop it, every king of the castle eventually tumbled down. And the higher they'd climbed, the harder they fell. Nathan had reached the very sky, so of course his plummet would be terminal velocity, and he was destined to leave no survivors. 

But that was for another time, and though it might be hurdling closer with the same speed as you were sliding down toward the bottom, to either stop smoothly or crash face first into a wall in a literal sense, it wasn't here yet. And you were never one to worry about a future you couldn't control. Instead you chose to live in the present, and maybe show off a bit so that you could have an excuse to bask in a certain gorgeous green gaze. 

You shrugged with a laugh as a shower of ice crystals sprayed the group and you skidded to a graceful (only slightly cheated with your power, ice was just water that needed to lighten up after all) stop. Nathan was already bored, grabbing your hand and tugging you along to the next snow day activity he could think of, and you ran to keep up, everything sparkling and bright and beautiful in the sharp winter, just like him.

[jennibeultimate]

Personal recap Olympics 2022 - Men FS

Don't know if anyone is interested anymore, but I do it nonetheless. Again this is a personal recap, so feel free to agree or disagree with me. I needed some time to process what happened in the free skate.

I think this free skate as a whole was kinda a bit opposite to the short program. A lot skaters made many many mistakes. Some smaller mistakes, some bigger mistakes. If memory serves me right Jason Brown is the only skater without a single mistake, but ofc he wasn't performing quads while everyone else at least tried one...

First I am beyond proud of Yuzu and Shoma! ❤️ You fought well!

I like to talk about Yuzuru Hanyu first because I think him coming to Beijing was brave. He was and is still dealing with a massive injury (he iced his ankle just right after the skate), he won everything this sport has to offer, he is already in the history books not only as the first to land the 4Lo but also as the first to win a superslam, a thing no other male single skater achieved - there was no need to show up and try to defend his title. And also he knew his name would bring the media attention (his first practice was so full of reporters some had to stay out) and with all eyes on him tremendous pressure (just like Shoma acknowledged in the press con) BUT he took the challenge, he even challenged the 4A - a jump that is deemed impossible - and he was damn close in making it happen in the free. He had a gap from the SP and if he would just have wanted a medal he could have played save, but he didn't. Yuzu didn't come here to be 2nd or 3rd and he said before he knew he could only win with a landed 4A. The 4A was his primary goal, not a medal. And getting the credit for being the first skater to call himself to go for a 4A, this he has achieved. (all other so far tried 4As cannot be called 4A, because they were downgraded) Yuzu didn't go down without a fight. Yes he had two falls, yes it wasn't enough for the podium, but he was 4th in the end. He delivered the rest of his program beautifully. Yuzu had a beautiful costume and I am always in awe of this unusual unique program and music. 😍

Yuzu - I have no words to describe my gratitude for all you have done for this sport for Japan. You are the reason I got to like and watch men figure skating. I will forever be thankful to you. ❤️

Shoma Uno might be the happiest Bronze medal winner you can find at the Olympics.

Congratulations on your Bronze medal! 🥉 The 3rd Olympic medal too! Who would have thought that after all these years of struggle between Pyeongchang 2018 and now? Many ppl thought his career was over after IdF 2019 and even after last WTT2021 ppl counted him completely out of any medal contention or some were even wondering if he would make it to the Olympics. But he fought. He found a new love for skating and he found a new will to fight for the top. This is why this medal is so significant for him.

Shoma was visibly nervous during his free skate. I think he did better Bolero programs through this season, but I think no one - even if I wished for it - thought he would deliver a clean skate. Especially not with nagging injury and training loss. As you may know I am not the biggest fan of Bolero, but this version is quite catchy and not as boring as the original. Especially the step sequence was lit 🔥 the later cantilever to end is gorgeous! 😍 Yeah he had some unfortunate mistakes, but he did 5 quads! He did miss a combo and yes the free skate was obviously struggld, but there were good elements too. The spins and steps, both 3As, the 2nd 4T, the opening 4Lo. He gave away lots of points, but the high BV saved him from falling further down the ranking. Though he had a singled Flip and a combo missing, he had a whopping 88,53 BV - the 4th highest behind Nathan, Yuzu and Daniel Grassl. This and his SP gap saved him the Bronze 🥉. (and even if we would give his 4S an UR and a little lower PCS, he still would have placed before Yuzu, but ofc the gap could have been smaller, but Yuzu also had the disadvantage of the earlier group and the PCS cap applied for multiple mistakes. And seems like PCS is not applied for pops in this comp or Jason, Nathan and Yuma all would have had one major mistake, but it wasn't seen in their PCS. And Shoma's PCS would have been to be capped at 90 as well.)

Congrats to Yuma Kagiyama for taking Silvee🥈 !

Admittedly I am not the biggest Yuma fan, but I can very well see his basics are phenomenally good. He has very smooth skating just like his idol Shoma and just like his idol Shoma he took Silver at his first Olympics. I think it was one of his best performances of this program. It builds quite well. And he has very clever layout with the 3Lo combo and also adding the 4Lo was pretty gutsy considering he didn't land many of them in practice. I just feel he doesn't emote as well as others to the audience yet. And that's why - especially live in the arena - his skates don't really touch me. I mean Shoma is also small but he just has this presence on ice, ofc in the free Shoma was nervous, so he wasn't as good as he could be, but Yuma is small but also has small presence. He is cute and his reactions are absolutely adorable, but he just doesn't have the same appeal. I think on TV it's better hidden than live in the arena as TV is closer to the skater and can do some of the transport to the audience. Not to be mistaken I think he does it totally fine for his age, just I am a little astounded how high his PCS got in so little time. But I guess delivering good programs over the season helped. His Silver is well deserved. And he is definitely one of the main contenders for the next years if he stays healthy.

Congrats to Nathan Chen! 🥇

I think going back to Rocket Man was the right choice. There is no doubt about his consistency and this is also what kept him a constant frontrunner for the past years. I think his win is totally fine. He delivered two clean programs. And he really looked as if he enjoyed his program even if it only showed in the last minute. BUT wth are those 97 PCS? 😱 This is over the top, just no way justified. My continuous problem with Nathan is the way he is scored. It's not his fault and contrary to some others I don't think his quads deserve no GOEs, so I think apart from the 3A his quads are very good and his TES are mostly deservedly high. I have some beef with his spins as the positions are not pleasing to my eyes. I will never be a Nathan Chen fan as I still find his basic skating rather scratchy and I miss a good knee bend, but we all know PCS are attached to TES and this may not be right, but it can't helped. And anyone thinking Nathan deserves 7s when the last placed skater get 7s is really delusional. I have seen Nathan live couple of times and he is fast on the ice and his performance ain't as bad as some make it out to be, but is this deserving of 97 PCS, just no way. He would have won with 88-90 PCS too. Overall I think the PCS are too high and there is too little difference to distinguish between the skaters.

Junhwan Cha is my newfound love this season. And he continues to amaze me. ❤️ After that awful fall he fought so good. And his Ina Bauer is just so amazing 😍😍😍 the 5th place is a superb finish for the 4CC champ. 👍

Jason Brown - his skate was beautiful. I think it was one of the best programs of the night. But I don't know why only he is able to get sky high PCS with lower TES? And also almost everyone would probably have more transitions and more complex programs if they would skate with triples only and this is probably what gets a bit on my nerves when ppl say "Jason deserves so much better everyone else could also tone quads down and get better PCS then" but yeah only if your name is Jason you get such GOEs for triples and the PCS too. Yes I know PCS and TES should not relate, but how come TES and PCS go together for everyone, but not for Jason? Deniss Vasiljews has an equal amount of beautifully performed triples but neither his TES nor PCS reach slightly the same heights as Jason's? Maybe the passport plays a part? I am glad Jason made it to the Olympics, but he is probably the last person to get away without a quad.

Daniel Grassl moved up quite a lot. He had the 4th best free skate and I think the 3rd highest TES. I think his skating style is aesthetically unpleasing. His jump form is wild and his programs are weird, but you can see his effort. So I applaud the try. And Daniel best European skater. Well done!

Extremely happy for Boyang Jin. I think this was the first free skate in years he was really good. And that magnificent 4Lz is to die for 😍😍😍 I am sad he lost a lot on his consistency, but this is why I am so happy about his 9th place finish and it gives me hope that one day soon we'll have Boyang fighting for the podium again. 👍

The post becomes endless again that's why I will stick to some of my personal highlights:

Adam Saio Him Fa - what a cool unique stunning program full of energy. ⚡⚡⚡If he learns to control some of his energy he could also be a contender for the top!

Kevin Aymoz - maybe one of the most beautiful performers out there. 😍😍😍He seemed to have overcome a bit of his struggles during the season. I think 12th place finish was all he could hope for.

Deniss Vasiljews - such a beautiful program! ❤️ Sadly the 4S didn't happen in the free but still great effort! ❤️

Keegan Messing - he is just such a charming person and skater and he was oldest in the field. He always has very personal programs and I always smile when Keegan skates. ❤️ His baby is so adorable! What a proud dad!

Congratulations to all Olympians! May y'all have a good rest now! 😊

Thank you for reading one of the longest takes! Here is your well deserved cookie 🥠!

[ilyasorokinn]

congrats on 500, babe! 🥳 how about 2. someone like you from the 500 followers prompt list for Nate Mackinnon? ❤️

A "WORK" TRIP

bro!! this was from march lmaoo. anyways, getting around to these now because i'm a lazy bitch :)

2. "i heard that you settled down / that you found a girl and you're married now / i heard that your dreams came true / guess she gave you things, i didn't give to you" (from this prompt list)

everyone thought you and nate were endgame. you were perfect for each other. but it was a surprise to everyone when you two broke up.

it hurt like hell, but you eventually moved on. or you thought you did. by "moved on," you meant it didn't hurt when you saw photos of him around the city or you didn't cry at the mention of his name.

you did cry, but it wasn't a daily occurrence. more like once or twice a month.

after a few years, you had tried to move on a date with different guys, but you always found yourself comparing them to nate. spoiler alert, they always lost.

you had gotten word from one of the girlfriends that you were still close with that nate had moved on, and he was doing much better than when you had broken up.

his new girlfriend's name was anna and you couldn't even be angry or jealous because she was perfect for him and gorgeous. then, you found out through the avs' social media that they were engaged and that's when things went downhill for you.

your friend, emma, had come over to your house because it was your annual dinner together, and she found you in the kitchen, nursing a glass of wine and crying.

"i mean, i'm really happy for him, but i thought he was the one, you know? i thought he was gonna be my forever." you sobbed into her shoulder.

"i know." she nodded, caressing your hair like she always did when she found you crying about nate.

"he sent me an invitation," you told her.

"he, what?" she snapped.

"well, i didn't open it, but i know it's their wedding invitation." you looked down at your hands as you sniffled.

"are you gonna go?" she asked.

"i don't think i can." you shook your head.

"and that's okay," she reassured you. you only nodded.

a few weeks before the wedding, nate showed up at your door, "hey." he began awkwardly.

"hey." you spoke just as awkward, "what are you doing here?" you asked.

"i just wanted to know why you hadn't rsvp'd." you almost scoffed.

"i can't go, sorry. i have a..." your brain quickly tried to come up with any excuse, "...a work trip." you quickly lied.

"a work trip?" he asked, unconvinced.

"yeah, sorry. it's something that was planned a while ago, so i can't go." you shrugged, leaning against the door.

"oh, okay." he nodded.

"i'm really sorry, i gotta go." you told him, lying once again.

"oh, right. sorry." he nodded, "i gotta go too. anna has this cake tasting thing, so i gotta head over there." you nodded, shutting the door in his face without saying goodbye.

nate watched you shut the door. he continued to stare at the door even when it was shut. he eventually found the energy to move and make his way back to his car.

you quickly called your emma and told her the happenings of your afternoon, and of course, she was upset. so, she had set a plan in motion in her head. she was close with a few guys, so she called them up and told them she was coming in the next morning to practice to yell at nate. she hung up before they could even get a word in, so they didn't really have a say and couldn't say "no"

the next morning emma came storming into the avs dressing room, steam practically pouring from her ears, "nathan mackinnon, you have some freaking balls. like, balls made of freaking steel." she glared fire at her.

the guys emma had called weren't surprised, but everyone else was very confused, "what did i do?" nate asked.

"what did you do?" she scoffed, "you have the nerve to go to her apartment and ask if she's going to your wedding? i would punch you in the face, but that wouldn't hurt nearly as much as i'd want it to." by then all the guys were watching, either on the verge of laughing or wanting to hit nate.

you were their friend, and you were close with all of them in the four years you and nate were dating, "what are you talking about?" nate was still very confused.

"she still loves you, you idiot. and you go over to her apartment asking her to go to your wedding almost killed her." emma shouted, surprising everyone. you would probably kill her, but she did what had to be done.

nate froze, "she-what?"

"you heard me." emma glared, "i hope you miss every shot." with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out.

okay, literally didn't follow the song and this was hecka angsty. i literally just wrote whatever came to mind. sorry.

[pastelwitchling]

It’s that time of year again, folks. Goodness, that feels odd to say after so long. Watching this episode, I realized that I truly do not care about anyone except Alex, and occasionally the pod squad 😂 I’ve watched each of Alex’s scenes at least three times at this point, and watched Isobel mention Alex to Michael twice, but I did also watch the rest of the episode, so without further ado, grab a nice cup of tea, maybe a snack, because here are my (mostly Alex) thoughts on last night’s season 3 premiere.

I was bored watching everyone else 😅 I think a lot of it stemmed from frustration. I still cannot get over the fact that this whole narrative is treating Max like the one in the wrong when it’s undoubtedly Liz. I’m also not a fan of the storyline where the female character is just constantly fawned over by every handsome guy she meets. It seems like wherever Liz is, whoever she’s working with, they’re always so in love with her, singing her praises and doing everything for her. I just dislike it because it feels very much like pandering, like the woman would never survive if there was someone who acted like, you know, a human around her as oppose to a worshipper. It wasn’t a big thing, I just had to roll my eyes quite a bit.

Kyle. That man needs a break. Thank God, they were going with what I hoped, and ended his relationship with Steph in a throwaway line. That moment he shared with Isobel was so touching, I couldn’t stand it. Huh. Scratch that, I only care about Alex, malex, forlex, the pod squad, and Kyle. That kylex moment - I can’t. Please, God, let this season have so many more kylex moments. I also love kybel, I love their relationship. More Kyle, Alex, and Isobel please.

I don’t like Maria with Gregory. I want redemption for her, but I don’t think she can get that if they have her with another Manes. Just... keep her away from the Manes men. I do not want her near the Manes men. I’m not mortified by it, per say, but I do strongly dislike it right now. It might grow on me later, depending on how she acts.

I will say though I did appreciate the, “You know, Alex is back. Are you here to invite me to the wedding?” This was what I’d hoped from her from the beginning, supporting malex getting together! So long as they don’t mention an “ex” again throughout the show, I’ll be happy. The best thing they can do at this point is pretend the tragedy of season 2 never happened.

(Side note: I’d really love it if Maria stopped taking every chance she got to insult Michael. That’d be nice. Or if they’re going to do it, let someone call her out on it. Like, it’s okay if you scold a woman or give her a genuine flaw that people acknowledge. She’s not made of glass.)

Max looked so cute, I could die. Isn’t he just gorgeous when he’s all tortured? 😂😍❤ I love him. That moment when he listened to Liz’s recording had me near tears. He’s just so tired and so frightened and I think Nathan Dean really nailed the emotion. Have I said I love him yet? I love him. 

I enjoyed the pod squad moments, I love Michael and Max’s relationship, I love seeing Isobel and Michael work together to save Max, I love the family of it, it’s so heartwarming.

Now. Malex. Y’all. Words cannot express how I felt when Michael stopped in front of that shop window to fix his hair. That is some fanfic stuff I would write, my heart jumped, I had to hide my smile I felt so bashful, like I was suddenly intruding on a private moment. And then the way Michael reacted to Maria? I love how they showed he didn’t want nor could take any comfort in her. Not in animosity towards Maria (well, maybe a little), but in the fact that you just know she could never do that for him like Alex could and he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise anymore. I thought it was a bit of a missed opportunity with malex, as they could’ve had Michael show that he wanted and needed that comfort from Alex, but hopefully they’re just waiting to have a big scene with them in 3x03, since Alex isn’t in 3x02.

Forlex. The kisses, the moment in bed, Alex’s smirk when Forrest asked him if he got in okay (😱), my heart was thrashing. And, well, I won’t pretend my heart isn’t broken that it’s already over. I freaking love forlex, I love Forrest so much, hats off to Christian Antidormi who came in and really just knocked it out of the park. I think the show was made all the better, and Alex all the happier, for having had him. I’m not angry or too upset about it though, because I’ll still be writing the forlex merman  au bonus story, I’ll still love them together, and I’ll keep Forrest in my heart forever. Also, the missed opportunities with Wyatt Long they could’ve had, really emphasizing how both Alex and Forrest are the black sheep of their families -- it would’ve been brilliant.

Not to mention, as a storyteller myself, I do think it was a little rushed the way Deep Sky was explained and then Forrest leaving, but in truth, I guess I’ve just lived with forlex over the whole hiatus, I’ve written about them so often, that I feel like I spent the past year with them so the scene is very emotionally heavy to me, and I could feel and understand Alex’s tears at seeing this one man who had allowed him so much freedom to just be leaving like that for good.

I am, however, very hopeful for malex’s friendship this season. I do think, realistically, it would be much easier for them to get closer without Forrest there, but at the same time -- again, missed opportunity. The way Alex was already being given E Clearance, like the badass he is, I got goosebumps 🤩😍

I am feeling emotional, hopeful, inspired. I want to write like crazy, which -- as anyone who’s been following me lately and read about my mental breakdown may know -- is the greatest gift anyone could give me. And it all came from Alex, Forrest, and Malex. Who’s shocked? Not me.

I genuinely can’t wait to see what happens the rest of the episodes. I am ready for the (hopefully) wonderful and heartwarming surprises. Already, this season looks promising.

[cherienymphe]

Unhappily Married (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: eventual NON-CON, dad!Steve, age gap (reader is a 20 something college student so that could range from undergraduate to graduate and Steve is late 30s), slight college!Peter x reader

summary: your dream job becomes a nightmare when your employers reveal their true colors.

~

“Oh, Y/N, you are a Godsend!”

You chuckled as you handed the stuffed dinosaur to her, Nathan’s cries immediately quieting. It was his favorite toy, and had you known she’d been looking for it for the past five minutes, you would have come downstairs sooner.

“I’m really not, Mrs. Rogers. He was playing with it earlier,” you said with a small smile.

The gorgeous blonde playfully narrowed her eyes at you as she adjusted the cherubic little boy on her hip.

“How many times have I told you to call me Sharon, Y/N?”

“Too many to count,” you admitted, grabbing your bag from the sofa as she walked you out of the house.

“One day you’ll listen, and I won’t have to remind you anymore,” she sighed.

She glanced around with a small frown.

“It looks like Peter is running a little late,” she noted.

“His psychology professor has a habit of talking past his allotted time,” you complained, rolling your eyes. “Normally he’s able to come up with some excuse to slip out, but I don’t think he got lucky today.”

“Oh, I hated that. I tell you, I do not miss college. Roommates, struggling for money, professors who took their jobs a little too seriously,” she shuddered. “How are your classes going? You’re still studying history, right?”

“Mm hmm. It’s going great, actually. I might have an opportunity to study abroad next semester,” you whispered, Mrs. Rogers being the first person you told the news too.

“Oh, how exciting! You’ll let us know if you get it, won’t you? We’ll have to throw a party. Steve,” she called, turning towards the garage.

There was a brief moment of silence before the equally beautiful blond exited the garage. The snug white tee he sported was stained with dirt and grime. He dusted his hands off before placing them on his hips, gazing at the both of you on the front porch.

“We might have to find a new sitter for Nathan next semester. Y/N might be studying abroad in a few months,” she excitedly told him.

His lips curved upwards into a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes for some reason. You didn’t think anything of it. You noticed that things that often excited Mrs. Rogers rarely had the same affect on her husband. You didn’t know much about his job, but you got the impression that he was usually stressed about something or another despite how well he hid it.

“Is that so”

“She could be leaving us,” she replied with a pout. “…but it’s such a great opportunity. Everyone should get the chance to explore the world.”

“Sharon’s right,” Mr. Rogers said, approaching the both of you, blue eyes focused on you. “There’s no greater teacher than experience.”

You barked a laugh.

“You sound like Peter, Mr. Rogers.”

He heaved a sigh, throwing a playful smirk your way.

“When are you going to start calling me Steve, Y/N?”

“It’s useless, sweetheart. I’ve told her a million times to call me Sharon, and we keep having the same conversation. She’s making me feel like an old maid, and I haven’t even hit 40 yet,” she teased, sighing. “Peter’s really late it seems.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a frown.

“I could take her home, Sharon,” her husband offered.

She hesitated, and so did you. Peter was probably already on his way, and the two of you lived together anyway. It would be inconvenient for them if Mr. Rogers drove you home.

“You might have to,” she murmured. “It’s getting late, and Nathan will have to be put to bed soon. I really don’t want to leave you out here, Y/N-.”

She cut herself off as headlights could be seen turning into the long driveway.

“That’s really nice of you guys, but looks like Peter finally made it,” you said with a chuckle, waving to them as you descended the steps.

“I’m so, so sorry I’m late,” were the first words Peter rushed out when you slid into the passenger seat.

He rolled down the window as soon as you shut the door.

“You’re lucky, Peter! Steve was just about to take Y/N home,” Mrs. Rogers yelled.

Peter chuckled, but something was off about it.

“Sorry for being so late. Mr. Harrington was in a weird mood, tonight,” he yelled back.

The two of you waved them goodbye as Peter turned the car around.

“So what did he do, tonight?”

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“A pop quiz…after the lecture,” he said with a shake of his head.

“You’re always surprised by his antics.”

“I know, I know, and I shouldn’t be. That’s the crazy part. This was so on brand for him,” he mumbled.

“Hey, it’s no big deal. Besides, if you can’t ever get me for whatever reason, at least we know Mr. Rogers will take me home,” you replied, reaching over to play with his hair.

He snorted, but otherwise didn’t respond to that, and you frowned.

“What? What was that about?”

He chuckled, a crooked grin on his lips as he shook his head.

“Nothing.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not liking his tone. You turned in your seat to face him.

“What?”

“I bet Mr. Rogers would have no problem driving you home,” he teased, a smirk on his pink lips.

You stared at him, unamused.

“You’re so not funny, Peter-.”

“Oh, come on! He’s got a crush on you, you have to know that,” he interrupted.

“He’s married,” you cried in disbelief. “Besides, how could he ever have a crush on me? I dress like a hobo without makeup on around him. Plus, he hardly talks to me.”

“Probably to restrain himself,” he whispered.

Peter laughed when you hit his arm.

“I’m just kidding…sort of.”

“Peter!”

“I mean, who could blame him? You’re too adorable,” he said, reaching over to place his hand on your thigh. “…but you’re mine.”

You grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers together as you glared at him.

“Mr. Rogers is a happily married man-.”

“…and you’re his adorable 20 something babysitter who’s great with his son.”

You eyed him, eyebrows furrowing a bit at the way he scoffed that out.

“Peter…you are joking…right?”

He suddenly sighed, stopping at a red light.

“Yeah…sort of. I don’t know,” he groaned. “It’s silly.”

“Hey…nothing is silly if it’s bothering you…”

“It just seems like he really likes you, and I know that he’s your employer and it’s probably nothing more than an employer being pleased with his employee, but he’s good looking and older and-.”

“And happily married,” you reminded him. “…and I’m happily with you.”

You leaned closer, nose brushing his cheek.

“Peter, there’s no need to be jealous of Steve,” you whispered.

“I’m not jealous,” he mumbled.

You chuckled, kissing his cheek before leaning back.

“You are, but its okay,” you said, turning the radio up.

 ~

“You’re serious?”

Peter’s eyes were wide and searching, and you nodded with a huge grin on your face.

“I wanted to wait until it was confirmed to tell you, and now it is. I’m going to Europe next semester for 4 months,” you repeated.

Peter laughed.

“That’s…amazing!”

He pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around him. The mall was loud, and hardly anyone paid any attention to your display. He pulled away from you to press a soft kiss to your lips just as his name was called.

“Oh, that’s our food,” you said, pushing him towards the counter.

He chuckled, rushing to get it just as you heard your own name being called.

“Y/N?”

You turned, eyes widening a bit as they connected with a familiar gaze.

“Mrs. Rogers, hi!”

She pulled you into a brief hug, pulling away with a small pout.

“Y/N, we’ve been through this a thousand times,” she complained.

“Sorry,” you sheepishly replied. “One day. One day, I promise.”

She waved you off, stepping back to get a good look at you.

“Wow! I almost didn’t recognize you,” she chuckled. “You look so different outside of work.”

You glanced down, brows furrowing just a bit as you took in your summer dress.

“I guess…yeah. Peter and I are just enjoying our free day,” you replied, pointing over your shoulder just as the brunette came up behind you.

“Hi, Mrs. Rogers!”

“Hello, Peter. Ugh, you two are so adorable. I was just saying hi to Y/N. I know we only go two days without seeing her a week, but it feels like forever,” she said.

“She’s exaggerating,�� you told him.

“No, I mean it! She’s a Godsend. The house is so different without her around. Nathan misses you like crazy,” she confessed.

Her tone threw you off, and you didn’t exactly know how to respond to that.

“He’s right over there actually. Steve too! We’re here with some friends, would you like to come say hi?”

“We…could. We just got our food…”

“Yeah, we can tell them the great news too,” Peter threw in from behind you.

Sharon’s eyes widened in wonder, and you felt your face get hot as Peter rubbed your arms.

“What news?”

“I’m going to Europe next semester,” you slowly replied.

Her mouth parted, face lighting up as she laughed.

“So its…confirmed then? The opportunity went through?”

You nodded.

“Oh, this is wonderful news! Now, you have to come over,” she pushed, grabbing your arm and dragging you across the food court.

Peter followed, and you grew nervous as you approached the table full of strangers. You caught Mr. Rogers’ eye, and noticed the way they widened slightly at you. You looked away, smiling at the unfamiliar faces.

“Guys, this is our babysitter, Y/N, and her boyfriend, Peter.”

Everyone introduced themselves, and the two of you did the same.

“They were just telling me about some wonderful news,” Mrs. Rogers said, reaching over to pluck Nathan from his stroller.

“I’m just studying abroad next semester,” you said, downplaying it as you waved at Nathan.

The table broke out in cheers and congratulations. Your smile was shy, uncomfortable with all of the attention, and sensing it, Peter wrapped an arm around your waist. You caught Mr. Rogers’ eye again, having felt his gaze on you, and you swallowed at the unreadable expression on his face. You wondered if your discomfort was visible, because he suddenly smiled at you, a familiar sight that eased you.

“So where exactly are you studying?” a dark-haired man with facial hair asked.

If you remembered correctly, he introduced himself as Tony.

“Rome,” you answered.

He straightened in his seat, pointing a finger, and everyone else at the table groaned.

“You know, I’ve been to Rome and-.”

“Oh, Tony, give it a rest. She’s going there to enjoy herself, not to hop on the next money-making scheme,” a strawberry blonde woman interrupted.

She was his wife, you remembered.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, and Mrs. Rogers rolled her eyes.

“We’ve kept the two of you long enough. I’m glad we ran into you today.”

“Me too,” you honestly replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You and Peter waved them goodbye, your gaze lingering a bit as Mr. Rogers didn’t wave back, opting instead for raising his glass at you. You turned with a small frown, wondering if something seemed off about him today, or if it was just you.

 ~

The door flew open just as you raised your hand to knock. You took a step back in surprise but smiled nonetheless as your eyes met familiar dark ones. Your smile fell a little when Mrs. Rogers didn’t return it, and you hesitantly stepped inside when she eventually moved to the side.

“Nathan has been put down for his nap. I should be gone for the next five hours at the most,” she said, shutting the door.

“Oh, okay. I can just do some schoolwork then while I wait for him to wake up.”

That was strange. Nathan was normally up and at em whenever you came over. She didn’t reply as you set your bag down beside the couch, and you turned to face her. Her gaze was sharp, and you were growing a bit uncomfortable.

“Unless…there’s something else you want me to do? I can make some meal plans for-.”

“No,” she harshly cut you off, and you flinched. “That won’t be necessary. I can make food for my son just fine.”

You frowned slightly before swallowing.

“Um okay. Is there anything else you want me to do while you’re gone?”

She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at you.

“No. Why do you ask? Is there anything you do for Steve while I’m gone?”

You blinked, rearing back a bit.

“I… I’m sorry?”

She huffed, snatching her purse from its place on the lavish couch, eyes venomous as she gazed at you.

“Mrs. Rogers… Is something wrong?”

“Are you sleeping with Steve?” she demanded.

Your eyes widened, comically so as her words hit you like a truck. Confusion and shock filled you. Had you heard her wrong?

“What?” you gasped.

She approached you, chest heaving.

“You heard me. Are you fucking my husband?”

The question came out slow but forceful, and you frantically shook your head.

“N-no! No! Of course not,” you yelled. “Why would you ask me that?”

She reached into her purse, yanking out a small scrap of fabric before shoving them in your face.

“No? Then what the hell is this?”

She dropped it in your hand, and if possible, your eyes widened even further as you realized it was…underwear. They were black and lacey and flimsy…and they weren’t yours. You swallowed, holding them up by two fingers, touching as little fabric as possible as you slowly looked up at her. If looks could kill, you would be six feet under.

Her face lost some of its tension at the sympathetic look on yours, and you sighed as you held them out to her.

“Mrs. Rogers, these… These aren’t mine,” you whispered.

She swallowed, reaching out with a shaky hand to take them back from you. She clenched them in her fist, lips trembling as she looked away.

“Mrs. Rogers…”

She stumbled back, falling to sit on the couch as she stared at the wall in front of her. The house was quiet, and you didn’t know what to say as she just…stared. You were coming to terms with what was happening, and you didn’t know how to feel.

Mr. Rogers was…the perfect husband. He absolutely doted on Sharon…like a queen. You often found yourself wondering if you and Peter would have what they had one day. It was silly, you knew that, but Sharon and Steve were the perfect couple. They were happily married, for Christ’s sake, so you were having the most difficult time coming to grips with the fact that he could do something like this.

And yet…

The evidence was right there for the both of you to see. After all, there were only so many explanations that could explain that. You took a step towards her.

“Sharon.”

She slowly looked up at you, eyes glistening with tears.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” and you meant it.

You were sorry.

She sniffed.

“No, um… I uh…I’m sorry,” she replied. “I should have known that you would never… You’ve never once given a hint that you would…”

“Mrs. Rogers, you have nothing to apologize for. I mean, if I was in your shoes, I would go straight to the babysitter too,” you chuckled.

She joined you, slowly standing as she wiped her face.

“No. There’s no excuse for coming to you in such a manner. I let my own insecurities cloud my judgement,” she began.

She stuffed the damning evidence back in her purse before looking at you.

“I see how he looks at you, sometimes, and my mind ran wild with it.”

You frowned in confusion, and she chuckled at that.

“Of course, you have no idea what I’m talking about. How lucky you and Peter are to be so wrapped up in each other,” she mused.

You were even more confused, but you brushed it off.

“Is there anything I can do?”

She heaved a tired sigh, and she suddenly looked as if she’d aged 5 years in the span of 5 minutes.

“Just what you’ve always done; your job. You do it so well and Nathan loves you and… I have a feeling that we’re going to need you around a lot more. Nathan will need some stability,” she honestly replied with a shrug.

You looked down and nodded. You watched as she left, mind whirling with what all of this meant.

You made your way into the kitchen with a sigh, wondering how Mr. Rogers could do such a thing. You weren’t stupid. Steve Rogers was an attractive man, almost criminally so, so you knew that he must have dozens of women throwing themselves at him on a regular basis. However, you saw the way he looked at his wife. You thought he was devoted to her in every way.

You looked down, playing with your fingers with a frown. As silly as it was, part of you felt…disappointed. You had thought that Mr. Rogers was better than that. This diminished him in your eyes, and you started to wonder if you ever knew him, at all.

 ~

“No, Peter. Neither one of them have come home yet. I can’t leave,” you worriedly said, peeking out of the window.

The rain was really coming down, now, and your anxiety grew.

“Y/N, a storm is coming in, tonight. If I don’t come get you, now, I don’t think I’ll be able to,” Peter said over the phone, frantic.

“I know, I know, and I wouldn’t ask you to. I’ll figure something out, but I can’t leave, and I’m not just going to take Nathan. One of them will be here soon.”

He heaved a sigh.

“Alright. I love you…”

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, hanging up the phone.

You had just turned away to go check on Nathan when you heard keys in the door. You sighed in relief, a greeting on your lips when you stopped short. Mr. Rogers stepped through the door, and you didn’t know what to say as he shut it behind him.

His blue eyes focused in on you, eyebrows furrowing a bit when you didn’t speak.

“What is it?” he softly asked.

He looked the same and sounded the same, but he wasn’t the same. To be perfectly honest, you were hoping that his wife would be back before him. You were…disgusted by him.

“Mrs. Rogers isn’t back yet.”

His frown deepened, reaching into his pocket to grab his cell phone.

“What do you mean she isn’t back yet?”

“When she left, she said she’d be gone for five hours at the max, but…that was eight hours ago.”

He brushed past you, pressing his phone to his ear. You went to grab Nathan just as he stirred, shushing him as you rocked him on your hip. You looked over your shoulder with wide eyes, heart skipping a beat at the harsh hushed whispers coming from the kitchen.

You wanted to get closer, but it was none of your business. You instead wondered on how you were going to get home. You heard him step back into the living room, and you looked up as he approached you. You let him take Nathan from your hands, jerking them back when his fingers lingered on yours.

“Well?”

“Sharon isn’t coming back, tonight,” he sighed.

“What? Why?”

“Who knows? She’s always loved the dramatics,” he threw out, ascending the stairs and gesturing for you to follow.

You frowned at him, not liking the way he spoke about her, but followed, nonetheless.

“There’s no way anyone can drive in that,” he said, facing you. “You’ll have to stay the night.”

You blanched on the inside, but you knew it was coming. Before, you wouldn’t have minded. However, after learning what you did about him, you didn’t like the idea of being stuck in a house with him all night. He wasn’t who you thought he was.

“Okay. I can put Nathan down before I-.”

“It’s fine, Y/N. I can put him down. I haven’t done so in a while,” he said, throwing you a small smile.

You forced one in return, walking towards the linen closet.

“Um…should I get someone of Mrs. Rogers’ or-?”

“I’ll leave something in the guest room for you to sleep in,” he said.

You nodded, looking over your shoulder as he brushed past you.

 ~

You gripped your towel to you, reaching out to grab the clothes left on the guest bed when the door opened. You yelped in surprise, eyes wide as Mr. Rogers stepped into the room. You took a step back, eyeing him in confusion.

“I just wanted to thank you for tonight.”

“Oh. It was no problem,” you quietly replied.

He shook his head as he stepped closer, and you tightened the towel around you.

“No. It was a problem. Sharon was supposed to come back, tonight and she didn’t. That was irresponsible and inconsiderate of her. You have a life just like she does, and she had an obligation to be here to be with her son,” he said, voice hard as he eyed you.

He had an obligation to be faithful to his wife, you found yourself thinking.

“Mr. Rogers, really, it’s fine. She’s upset, I understand-.”

“Upset,” he wondered.

You slammed your mouth shut as he crossed his arms over his chest with a soft scoff, running his eyes over you as he studied you. He tilted his head to the side.

“How do you know she’s upset?”

“What I meant was, she seemed kind of upset before she left,” you corrected yourself.

“Did she now?”

“I don’t know what about, but she just seemed really bothered by something. She left in a hurry,” you lied.

His gaze was unreadable as he took in your words, and you found yourself feeling uncomfortable at his close proximity and your state of undress. He eventually nodded, taking a step back. He turned and made his way to the door, laying his hand on it as he turned to look at you.

“Whatever she’s upset about isn’t an excuse to leave you here to take care of our son hours after you’re supposed to,” he angrily said.

You swallowed at his tone, fighting to hold his gaze.

“Thank you for being patient and waiting. You’ve been a blessing to us this past year, and I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

You nodded, eyeing the door when he closed it before eventually walking towards it. You pressed your ear against it, noting that a few moments had passed before you eventually heard him walking away. You turned the lock, dropping your towel as you eyed the clothes on the bed.

You frowned as you realized that none of these belonged to Mrs. Rogers. The shirt was entirely too big, and you knew for a fact that she didn’t wear boxers. You didn’t feel comfortable wearing her husband’s clothes to bed, but you didn’t have a choice. It was either that or sleep naked.

You pulled them on, anyway, wondering why he didn’t just give you something of his wife’s.

 ~

As the storm raged on outside of the window, you found yourself tossing and turning. The conversation you had earlier with Sharon was plaguing your thoughts. Even worse, Mr. Rogers’ strange behavior wasn’t helping things. Sleep was eluding you, and you found yourself wanting to call Peter, but he was probably asleep.

You considered going downstairs to get something to drink, and eventually decided on doing that. You threw the covers back, preparing to get out of bed when a noise stopped you. The floor outside of the guest room creaked, and you frowned.

You slowly got up, keeping quiet as you approached the door. You stared at it in confusion before your eyes widened at the jiggling doorknob. Your heart pounded in your chest as you realized someone was trying to come into the room. Although, there were only two people in the house able to open a door.

Mr. Rogers was trying to come into your room. You watched the knob twist and jiggle a couple more times before it eventually stopped. You heard him walk away, and you decided against that glass of water as you got back into bed.

 ~

tags: @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ @kellyn1604​ @mcudarklibrary​ @darkficreposter​ @villanellevi​ @xoxabs88xox​ @harringtonsblackgf​ @sebabestianstan101​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @opheliadawnwalker3​

[malfoys-demigod]

One Ticket to Ilvermorny - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: You have been offered to be part of a one year exchange student program at Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by Hogwarts. As you get comfortable over there, especially with American boys, your childhood best friend and longtime crush Draco Malfoy finds a way to enroll there. 

A/N: The prompt is similar to my other work Exchange Student Pt. 1 and 2 which is a Tim Drake x Reader version. 

Today was one of those frequent nights where you and your family would be invited by the Malfoy family to have dinner at their Manor. You were neighbours with them, making it easy to understand why you and him were best of friends since the beginning of your lives. Your parents were well known and wealthy purebloods and also best of friends with the Lucius and Narcissa. 

Today might have been one of those nights to have casual dinner with them especially right now during the summer, but this time your attention was recently bought in an instant when Dumbledore sent a letter to your Manor a few weeks ago, announcing that he has happily chosen you to represent Hogwarts in their exchange student program. At first you were excited because you’ve never been to America but then you realized that this would mean being away from Draco. You were scared of the idea of returning a year later seeing Draco with a girlfriend you didn’t know about as your friendship with him would get worse from not seeing each other. But your parents saw this as an opportunity to build your responsibility skills and boost the family name. So to experience a once in a lifetime thing, you accepted it. 

Before leaving your manor for Draco’s, you politely asked your parents not to be the one’s to announce your move to Ilvermorny. But somehow, they forgot about it. It had to be you. 

Everything was going alright, Lucius was talking ‘Ministry Business’ to your father, your mother gossiping with Narcissa, and Draco talking to you about how he’s excited to return to Hogwarts with new brooms for the team. Then that’s when Lucius brought school up. “That’s right son, we bought the latest brooms once again for Draco’s Quidditch team. It was no problem of doing that.” 

“Y/N, you have to try out for the team! You promised you’d try out, this is the year! Plus, you’d get to show off our brooms to everyone at school.” Draco begged. 

‘Here it goes. Time to break the news.’ you thought. But before you could say a word, your father spoke for you. “Unfortunately Draco, we just received word from Dumbledore that Y/N will be attending Ilvermorny Witchcraft and Wizardry this upcoming school year as part of the exchange student program.” he said proudly. 

At the same time, the Malfoys go:

Lucius: That’s excellent news! You bring honour to your family as always, Y/N!

Narcissa: Congratulations, Y/N!! We’re always proud of you!!

Draco to you silently: W-what?

Since dinner was done, you and Draco excused yourselves to go outside so you could explain things to him. Draco crossed his arms with a mix of sadness and confusion in his face. “Why didn’t you tell me this?” You placed both your arms on his shoulders with a pleading look, “Draco, believe me. My parents promised that I’d be the ones to announce the news, but I guess they forgot. Look, we were only aware of this for a few weeks-” “Few weeks?! Y/N we’re bloody neighbours! You could have dashed to my doorsteps the minute you found out!” Draco interrupted. You sighed and looked down at the floor, “I just didn’t have the guts to tell you. You know I wanted to decline the offer but my parents thought it would be a good idea for me to go, so I obeyed.” Draco nodded his head, very much understanding the demands of parents similar to his. “I’m going to miss my best friend so much. Promise to owl me? I’ll get us the best owls that can travel from here to America.” You hugged him softly, “I’ll owl you every week, Draco. I promise.” 

5 Months after

As Draco was in his dorm studying for his upcoming potions test, his owl dropped by his window, clutching to your letter. Draco in excitement took the letter and opened it, knowing it was from you as the Owl breathed heavily and rested. 

Dearest Draco, 

Another week, another letter, right? I hope you’re enjoying your weekend like me over here. Remember my newly acquainted friends Andrew and Nathan? They’re driving me to a nearby city called Pittsfield in the Berkshire county. We’re going to Berkshire Museum! They said it’s a museum of art, natural history and ancient civilization. Then we’ll be watching performing arts at the Colonial Theatre. For snacks, we’re going to get some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for Andrew and I, then some Dunkin’ Doughnuts for Nathan. I hope we end the day by visiting the public library, I mean it’s near Dunkin’ so why not right? How are you over there? I miss you, D. Sending you my hugs.

Sincerely, 

Y/N. 

For the first few months, Draco really enjoyed reading your letters and sending you his. When your friends Andrew and Nathan came into the picture, Draco would look at their names with complete annoyance and a hint of jealousness. One thing he was scared of was losing you to American boys, especially when you wrote to him saying how cute their accents are and how different they act compared to English boys. He had to stop them before one of them would call you his. He wanted you to be his, but he couldn’t do anything since he was all the way here... Maybe if he could ask his father to do something.. maybe transfer him for the remaining year? Draco did not hesitate and write a letter to his father about his idea, hoping he’d allow Draco. 

-- 

“Mr. Malfoy, your student tour guides have just been informed of your arrival. They’ve been cut from their classes to show you around for the remaining few hours till classes end. If you could just take a seat outside my office, they’ll be here soon.” the headmaster said. Draco nodded and nervously sat outside, hoping all goes well. 

As he was looking down at the floor, all he could see were two pairs of shoes in front of him. When he looked up, he assumed they were his tour guides. “Oh my gosh. Don’t tell me you’re Draco Malfoy.” the one in the left said with excitement in his eyes. “I thought you would know, after all you’re the tour guides.” Draco said with confusion. The one in the right rolled his eyes with laughter, “We were rushed with no information about the student we were going to tour, after all you’re the one who arrived school in the middle of the year and in the middle of the day.” 

Draco stood up and extended his hand, “Draco Malfoy, as you obviously know. The two of you are?” The left one shook his hand, “I’m Andrew, and this is my boyfriend Nathan.” the right one now shaking his hand. Draco then realized something, “Wait, you said you weren’t given any information about me. But how did you know my name?” 

Andrew smirked at his boyfriend, “Y/N of course. She talks about you non-stop. We wouldn’t have needed a picture to know what you looked like. She always talks about how soft your platinum blonde hair looks, your gorgeous face, and everything else.” This made Draco blush and scratch the back of his neck. “You know, if you didn’t tell me you were both dating, I would have hexed you both by now. You see, every time she’d owl me, she’d always include you both. I thought one of you would make a move on her soon so me being jealous, had to fly here.” Nathan gave his boyfriend puppy eyes, “AWW he’s totally into her. I KNEW IT!” Both boys grabbed Draco’s arms and ran outside the office, heading to the library, knowing you’d be there since it was a free period for you. 

You were calmingly about to owl another letter to Draco when suddenly you see Andrew and Nathan burst into the library, holding a familiar face in between them. 

Draco. 

Before you could drop your parchment and run, he dashed towards you and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You were surprised at first, but you kissed him back, not caring about the students watching you. As you pulled away, you gave him the biggest hug you could give with all your energy. “DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY! How in Merlin’s beard are you here?!?” you laughed. 

Draco brushed a stand of hair from your face, smiling, “I missed you, Y/N. I couldn’t survive a year at Hogwarts without you by my side. School isn’t the same without you. MY LIFE isn’t the same without you. I love you, so, so much and I thought either of your friends here would take you away from me. I just couldn’t imagine another guy by your side. I want you to be mine.” You kissed him in the cheek, grinning at him, “I’m yours. Always and forever, Dray.” 

[rainydaycriminalmindsimagine]

So I have this weird concept in my head and it's not leaving

Spencer with a wife who (wait for this one) works with Nathan Drake. As in the Uncharted series

Fun fact: he met you when he was 19.

He thought you were drop dead gorgeous

Like holy fuck

He actually got the courage to talk to you and you found him absolutely adorable

You would go on these long little tangents of history theories

Your best friend was the same way but Spencer found it to be cute.

You were passionate.

In return you'd listen to his scientific ideas.

Well Spencer knew sometimes you'd take trips with Nathan off the grid.

He didn't question anything until he met you at your apartment

And uh...

You kind of got involved in a shootout.

All spencer knew is that you grabbed his hand and told him to run, followed by a code to a panic room.

By the time he popped out of said panic room

You and Nathan were both standing. Six other men however, were not.

You told Spencer finally what all of that was about

About some trip you and Nathan took to find El Dorado

You didn't give much to the story but you explained that the trip took a turn when mercenaries were on your ass.

You also told him that if he wanted to break up that was fine.

But he didn't. He wanted to stay.

Did he approve of your slightly illegal activity?

No.

But did he love you?

Yes.

So after a few years you took another trip

Almost ended up in prison but that's not important, Sully bailed you out it's fine.

You got into a very very tense situation

As in: "Holy fuck a big ass tank is on my ass" situation

And of course that was the moment Spencer chose to call you and ask "Hi Darling how's it going?"

"HI SWEETHEART GIVE ME JUST A SECOND!" You screamed.

"NATHAN FUCKING HANDLE THE TANK QUICKER!" You screamed.

Spencer, who was laying on the couch bolted right up after hearing that.

"y/n did you just say tank?!" He asked.

"What nooo-- FUCK GRENADE LAUNCHER!"

"WHAT!?" Spencer asked.

"GIVE ME A MINUTE--"

And then the line went dead.

And Spencer was terrified he lost you.

But then a few minutes later you called back.

"Y/n?!" He asked.

"Hey Spence, I'm sorry about all of that." You said.

"Are you okay!?" He asked.

"Psh. I'm in an active warzone, there's bound to be another gunfight in a few minutes probably. Especially if CHLOE DOESN'T GET HER SHIT TOGETHER." You said.

Spencer heard a "fuck off" in the background.

He was relieved to know you weren't alone out there and that you were safe.

But then after hearing you talk he blurted something out that surprised you.

"Do you want to get married?"

You blinked, making Nathan and Chloe notice that confused and shocked expression.

"Uhm... Did you just ask me that over the phone?" You asked.

"I had a plan but... Life is chaotic y/n. And all i know is that I want you to be in my life. Forever." He said.

You smiled.

"Yes. Yes I do. But we are not doing this over the phone, the moment I get back we're doing this." You told him.

And that's exactly what happened.

Well after he saw you after the trip and you looked like hell

You had new scars and injuries but they were dressed and healed.

Spencer and you got married and for the most part you two settled down

You had one last hoorah with Nathan and then became an actual archeologist.

Both you and Nathan missed the hunt (though you'd never admit it out loud... For a little while anyway.)

Well another thing happened after that trip.

Spencer joined up with the FBI and he would talk about his team

You would now go on actual expeditions out of the country.

The stories were... Less exciting than El dorado or Shambala

But it was what kept him safe so you didn't argue.

Well the team was under the impression that Spencer was single.

He wore his wedding ring on a chain rather than a finger so that he wouldn't lose it

You did the same thing. You tended to lose things all the time and that was the one thing you didn't want to lose.

"We need to find you a girl Reid, your virginity is showing." Morgan told him one afternoon after a lunch break.

Spencer sighed and Garcia stopped them.

"There's a woman by your desk Spencer, she's really pretty, H/c, e/y. She said her name was--"

Spencer smiled knowing damn well who was back from her latest expedition.

"Y/N!" he said excitedly.

You jumped into his arms and he kissed you with a smile.

"I have missed you so much, holy shit." You chuckled.

Well the team was certainly interested in Spencer's life then.

He calmly told them that you and him got married before meeting the team

Rossi wanted to get to know you better of course so he invited you to a party at his home.

You told the team the less exciting stories of your discoveries and they all thought "Oh she's just a nerd."

But then Sully called you as you were explaining something.

And that's when Spencer knew another trip was in the works.

"Spence... I know I said I'd play it safe but... Nathan needs me and--" "Honey, say no more. Go. It's okay I know how much you've missed this." He assured.

So you took off.

And oh boy that one was a doozy.

But it put your name and Nathan's on the damn map.

You both finally came forward about your discoveries, all of them

Shambala, Iram, fuck even El Dorado

The whole team suddenly knew "She's not just a nerd she's a badass nerd."

They were a whole lot more interested in the stories that were more action packed

Their personal favorite quotes come down to

"and then I ran from a tank"

"A monkey stole my pistol."

"I played marco polo while a bazooka was being aimed at my face"

"And then the train, y'know... Hung off the side of the mountain."

And my favorite:

"I didn't completely impale him, I just made sure the guy felt the pole... Through his abdomen."

The team came to love you

They actually came to you when their unsubs decided to get historical

You told Spencer "one of these days I'mma drag your ass to a expedition one day. The tame ones not the 'we're holding on for dear life' ones."

He loved seeing you happy when you had a lead on an artifact

Hearing your theories

Watching your late night studies

Helping with translations

Overall: best couple ever 10/10

[thelandofall05]

Geometry in motion: Abstract painting in Nathan Chen's programs

It should be remembered that a picture – before being a war-horse, a nude, or an anecdote of some sort – is essentially a flat surface covered with colours assembled in a certain order,

– Maurice Denis, French symbolist painter.

Abstract art (from Latin “abstractus” – “drawn away”) is a non-figurative, non-objective art, where artists distance themselves from objective referents and use the visual language of colorful splashes, lines, geometric elements in various combinations. Abstract art has many styles: abstract expressionism, suprematism, geometric abstraction, op art, etc. This genre uses colorful shapes instead of realistic images. Wassily Kandinsky, one of the founding fathers of abstract art, believed that one should not analyze paintings objectively, but an effect on the emotions of the observer.

Abstract artists aspired to perceive the world with all its phenomena, forms and colors. One of the main ideas of abstract art is the fusion of painting and music. Kandinsky described Richard Wagner as his inspiration. Dutch painter Piet Mondrian was fond of modern rhymes, jazz and boogie-woogie, and named his canvases after music pieces.

Figure skating is an amalgamation of music, image, choreography and technique. The debate on what is essential in the fusion of the athletic and the artistic sides is going to go on forever. Like abstract art, figure skating consists of prescribed elements such as jumps, spins, steps, and turns that strictly comply with the rules and, at the same time, appeal to the emotions of the audience. Skaters develop their own style and become true artists and creators.

For example, the American skater Nathan Chen is famous for his minimalist costumes and for building his programs around abstract images rather than a specific character. Nathan chooses music with short but memorable titles (Nemesis, Caravan, La Boheme, Rocketman), tries himself in various genres (soul, jazz, chanson, flamenco) and expresses a wide range of emotions in his programs.

Like many abstract artists with a solid background in traditional art and impeccable technique, in years as a junior Nathan performed classical programs. He also tried his hand at iconic references, like Michael Jackson and did so brilliantly. However, can we call him an abstract artist now? Well, why not. For him the ice becomes a canvas, technical elements turn into a palette of colors, and the athlete’s body transforms into a tool that creates the masterpiece.

photo cred. Toshifumi Kitamura / Getty Images

Suprematism is an art movement that uses geometric abstraction in combinations of basic figures like circles, squares, lines, and rectangles painted in various colors. Suprematists reject all references to the figurative world and “earthly” meanings. Their paintings lack directions of up and down, left and right. Like in outer space, all directions are equal. The experience of color and shape is processed through the lens of the observer’s internal world. Malevich's "Black Square" is the symbol of Russian avant-garde and one of the most famous paintings in the world of art.

Just like the “Black Square" was Malevich's calling card, Nathan's short program “Nemesis” (music by Benjamin Clementine, choreography by Shae-Lynn Bourne) is the most recognizable in the skater’s career. Like a magnet, it captures attention of the audience at the rink as well as the ones watching the livestream. The simple costume, the sharp movements, the performance full of rebellion – all had the energy of a diamond in the rough of the rarest black color. Here Nathan is not a lyrical hero. Instead, like a suprematist, he portrays a strong emotion and ignites intense feelings to the powerful vocals of Benjamin Clementine. Nathan named “Nemesis” his favorite program where he could be himself. The skater flies over the ice with the resolve of an inescapable fate, reminding us that Nemesis was the goddess of revenge and the mother of karma (Nemesis is, Nemesis is, Nemesis is the mother of Karma). And like the “Black Square”, one can love or hate this program, but it is impossible to forget.

photo cred. Icon Sportswire / Getty Images

One of the ideas of abstract expressionism was to abandon structured composition and to produce large-scale, non-objective imagery. This movement developed in the United States and was considered purely American in spirit, being monumental, romantic and highlighting the serious questions of individual freedom. Barnett Newman believed that an artist is a choreographer of space. He infused his paintings with harsh flat color, thus predating the minimalist artists. A distinctive feature of his works – the so-called “zipper" – defined the structure of the paintings.

The music from the movie “Desierto” accompanies Nathan’s long program “Land of All” (music by Woodkid, choreography by Marie-France Dubreuil and Samuel Chouinard). The movie tells us about the fates of immigrants in the United States. Chen said he was not aiming to cover this topic and fill his performance with political meaning. Instead the program highlights the subject of individual freedom with the key message clearly stated in the lyrics (I came to break the wall that rose around you to see the land of all). The dark, gloomy atmosphere of the program foreshadows the danger and suggests seeking a way out. Newman said that we are making cathedrals “out of ourselves, out of our own feelings”. In his long program beginning with the lyrics "I took a chance to build a world of mine", Nathan showed that the solution lies in the individual freedom, in the freedom to choose and to express oneself.

photo cred. Raj Mehta / USA TODAY Sports

The term “hard-edge painting” was coined by the writer, curator and the Los Angeles Times art critic Jules Langsner. While studying the works of several painters, he found something  they had in common, namely a particular sharpness of edge and a clarity of color. This style of painting developed among Californian painters as their reaction to the more painterly or gestural forms of abstract expressionism. At that time Langsner worked on an exhibition, featuring works of Karl Benjamin. This exhibition was called the “California Hard edge”. 

The short program “Caravan” (music by Duke Ellington performed by Fanfare Ciocărlia, choreography by Shae-Lynn Bourne) is another iconic program of Nathan’s. The idea of the program belonged to the choreographer. Nathan described this program as a fun opportunity to dance to the music that people would actually want to dance to. Interestingly, Nathan chose the long program music in contrast to the short one. A simple costume and his naughty curls, high technical difficulty and the evocative footwork full of playful choreography, Western jazz flavored with notes of the East – all these make “Caravan” the cheerful and sunny performance that you would enjoy watching over and over again. 

photo cred. Margarita (zhem_chug) Voronkovskaya

Action painting is a genre in which the paint is spontaneously splashed or dribbled onto the canvas. The finished painting becomes a physical manifestation of art. It seems that an artist acts unconsciously, bringing their pure emotions to the canvas. They create a painting publicly, making a kind of performance from their actions and splashes of paint. Jackson Pollock, being one of the best known representatives of the movement, considered his style of work spontaneous and emotional. He defined it as "a natural growth out of a need", when spontaneous painting was directed by the subconscious instruments of creativity.

Nathan’s long program “Rocketman” (soundtrack to the movie “Rocketman”, choreography by Marie-France Dubreuil and Samuel Chouinard) can be regarded as an anthem to movement and athleticism. Complicated jumps matching music accents required lots of strength and concentration from the athlete, at the same time preparing the audience for the blast of emotions in the final choreographic sequence. His loose hip-hop movements had an organic quality of a dance floor improvisation. His passionate performance brought the house down again and again. In the act of creation the skater turned the ice into the canvas, splashing steps and turns like paint. And only when the music ended could the athlete and the audience breathe out. The program can be divided into two emotionally different parts. At first the skater presents the audience with a series of gorgeous quad jumps that set the rhythm of the performance like a metronome. And then he launches the explosive choreography of his final choreo sequence in the end.

photo cred. Jay Adeff / U.S. Figure Skating

The term “neoplasticism” was coined by an artist named Piet Mondrian. The guiding principle of the style was the dynamic equality of the horizontal and vertical lines painted with the primary blue, red, and yellow. Mondrian created his unique works from the basic geometric compositions. He perceived the world as a contrast of the vertical and the horizontal, the positive and the negative, the masculine and the feminine. The asymmetry of figures that we see in his paintings symbolizes unity and synergy of the Universe. The works of Mondrian influenced many contemporary artists. Many styles of modern art like minimalism and pop art hail back to Mondrian and the "De Stijl" group. 

In Nathan's long program of the 2020/2021 season (Selections from Philipp Glass, choreography by Shae-Lynn Bourne) the first thing that immediately catches one’s attention is the bright royal blue color of the shirt and absence of decoration except one vertical line of the same royal blue but of a different fabric. Mondrian considered the vertical line to be a symbol of masculinity. According to him it began at the center of the Sun. This is a totally abstract program without a specific name or character. The spectators get neither hints nor limits and decide themselves whether they are watching a lyrical tale, or an attempt to find oneself, or a portrayal of the power of nature. The energy of an entire ocean is hidden in simple sounds, smooth movements and restrained expressiveness. And at any moment the ocean can turn violent and merciless. No wonder that as the admirer of the Dutch artist, the skater chose the music of the minimalist composer for his long program. Like Piet Mondrian, Nathan Chen creates his own minimalist aesthetic of movement.

***

Studying the history of abstract art we can conclude that there were several reasons for this style to develop. The hope for changes in the pre-revolutionary society was one of them. At the beginning of the 20th century lots of people were tired of the dominant traditions in the way of life in general and in the arts in particular. They desired something new. The abstract art, which some would consider a kind of art extremism, gave them what they wanted. Without exaggeration abstract art became a new era in painting. 

The changes that are currently happening in figure skating can be undoubtedly called a technical revolution. No one is surprised by quadruple jumps and their quantity, or the age and gender of the skaters. It seems very soon everything will be attainable for everyone. Nathan is one of the pioneers of this revolution. In his programs he shows that athletes can be great technicians AND artists on the ice. And like true artists, athletes can now shed past restrictions and express themselves freely, showing all kinds of emotions, thoughts, and feelings in their programs. 

[eternalstann]

Tongue Twister

In which Peter Parker orders a Pepperoni Pizza....and gives his best friend head.

Pairing: Peter Parker X Reader

Warnings: smut!!!

Word count: 2k

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Your eyelids scrunched together at the sudden brightness and heat that hit your face. You heard quick footsteps across your bedroom. "Wake up!" Of course it was Peter. Rolling over onto your stomach, you buried your face into your pillows. You almost felt embarrassed once you remembered you only had on a t-shirt and underwear but you were too sleepy to move again. You felt the mattress shift and you knew that the way too giddy boy had climbed onto the the bed with you. You took a sharp inhale when you felt a pillow come down on your ass. "Its 11 o clock! Get up you bum!" Peter exclaimed before hitting you again.

"You're a whole new breed of annoying" you groaned, finally sitting up. Wincing as you opened your eyes, you couldn't help but crack a smile at your best friend. "I'm a whole new breed of man" he replied and you rolled your eyes. "You should've been spider-boy" you reiterated  for the thousandth time. "Why can't you let me be great? Anyways- what do you want to eat though, I'm gonna order some food"  You thought about what you wanted and Peter plopped down next to you.  He grabbed the remote to your T.V, without asking as usual and began scrolling through HBO. "Let's watch Westworld, I've been wanting to start that for a while..." he trailed off,  turning his head to look at you. He stopped to admire you, so pretty even when you just woke up. Your hair was up in a ponytail, lips and cheeks a little puffy still from sleep. You wore an old Ramones t-shirt of his that he'd given you after he shrunk it in the wash. He loved the way you looked in it. He loved the way you looked period. He didn't have a crush on you on you or anything though. You were his best friend. He just thought you were beautiful, smart, funny, and wanted to be around you all the time. That wasn't a crush was it?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of your voice. "Lets get Alfredo. Shrimp or chicken though? Or maybe crab if you're feeling extravagant." He only partially heard what you said. "You want crab legs? That's so much work to eat." "Peter you weren't even listening to me! Never mind just order some pizza." Peter felt a little bad for not listening but how could he focus when you looked like you did.

"I'm sorry! I'll order, Leonardi's?" You gave him a look and he picked up his phone. "Hi, Peter Parker placing an order for a pepperoni pizza". You burst out laughing and he smiled before shushing you. You placed a hand over your mouth to try and keep quiet. "Do I, Peter Parker want my Pepperoni pizza for pick up -no delivery please. No, this is not a prank call. 223 Myrtle Avenue. 1 hour? Thank you!" You removed your hand and let your laughs flow freely.

"You're a joke - oh my god, that was damn near a tongue twister". Peter began laughing with you, his hand finding a place on your upper thigh. "Ooo you finally shaved your legs" "Shut Up! I had to, I went on a date". Peter leaned away from you with a shocked face, "You what?!" "Why is it so shocking that I went on a date? But yes, I did. Remember that guy we ran into at the train station - Nathan? It was actually really nice" You stared at your friend and waited for him to respond. "Did you have a sex with him?"

Your eyebrows rose up almost to your hairline, "Why is that your first question". You stood up and fixed your underwear, sliding your feet into your fluffy slippers. "Well, you shaved your legs so I assume it's because you intended to fuck him". You nearly choked on your on spit, "Jeez Peter, and no I didn't have sex with him. He just went down on me...then I left". It was Peters turn to choke. "What? He gave you head and then you bounced?!" You laughed, "Damn, it sounds bad when you say it like that. But okay, so boom, we kiss blah blah blah and he you know...goes down on me and it was horrendous. We're twenty now, I feel like I'm too old to have wack sex. If he can't give head then he probably can't fuck." You shrugged and Peter was looking at you like you had two heads. You walked to your dresser and began looking for a pair of pants to put on. "Wow, do you think all girls think like that?" Peter asked, he thought it was bad ass that you knew what you wanted and what you didn't want. And a little bit insecure. 

"I mean, I'm sure no one wants bad head" you replied. Peter couldn't help but wonder what your pussy tasted like. He guessed like his favorite cereal, honey nut cheerios. He shook his head, why was he thinking about you like this? The two of you had been friends since 6th grade. But holy shit your ass was gorgeous, how had he never noticed you had an ass like that before. "You know, I've never gone down on a girl..." he mumbled, looking at his hands. You were genuinely shocked. You knew Peter could be a little shy but let's be real, he was stupidly handsome. "Y/N, what if I'm bad at it!" he exclaimed. Peter tended to excel at everything he tried so you had no worries for him.  "It's not that big of a deal Peter, trust me you'll be fine." "But what if I'm not?" You laughed at his concern, about to pull your pants on. 

"Wait! What if I...what if I practiced, like, on you?" his voice got lower with every word. You couldn't believe you ears, your pants dropping to the floor. "You want to eat my pussy?" You asked incredulously. "No I don't....not like that; I mean I do but like in a friend way? Not that I wouldn't in a romantic way but like...fuck yes I do" he threw his hands in the air. You could feel your body begin to heat up at the thought of him tasting you. "Um.. if you want to, I guess, it couldn't hurt". Peter nodded, grabbing your hand and guiding you to sit on the bed. "Can I kiss you?" you asked, and Peter's heart raced at how innocent your voice sounded. He didn't speak, just leaned in to connect your lips. The moment your lips touched it was as if something broke inside the both of you. You could've kissed him forever. Peter's hands went to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, his fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt. You moaned into his mouth and nodded giving him permission to lift the top over your head. Peter pulled away to look at you, letting a hand cup your full breast. His thumb ran back and forth over your nipple and you shivered from the tingle it sent down your spine. "Wow...when did you get these?" Peter asked and you laughed pushing him back against the bed. You pulled your panties off, and you realized you were naked and he was fully clothed. "Take off your shirt" you instructed and he obeyed. 

Peter lay back down, and you ran your hands down his hard chest. "Where have you been hiding these" you asked, letting a finger run over the lines of his abs. "I've been trying to show you for months! Now come here" he spoke grabbing your hips and pulling you upwards. "What?!" you wondered aloud. "I want you to sit on my face" Peter responded like he had just told you the answer to a math question. "I..okay" you muttered, a bit taken a back. You positioned yourself over his face. He grasped your hips, "Wait" he commanded and you hovered above him. "So pretty" he whispered. He looked up at you and smiled when he saw you were already looking down at him, your mouth parted into a small 'o'. He let his left hand reach under you, running his fingers between your folds, just barely brushing against your clit. You gasped and your hips jerked forward. Peter hummed, loving every second of having you above him. He let his thumb dip into your pussy, "So fucking wet" he drawled before putting the digit into his mouth to taste you. "Oh my god" you whimpered watching his sultry action. He'd had enough. 

Peter pulled you down to his mouth, getting straight to work. He let his tongue lap against the full length of your pussy, back and forth. His hands moved around to your ass grabbing handfuls of each supple cheek . He moved your body back and forth letting you ride his tongue. "Peter" you moaned, throwing your head back and letting your hands massage your tits. Peter looked up and nearly came in his jeans at the sight of your writhing above him. He'd never wanted anything as bad as he wanted to make you cum in this moment. He moved his tongue to your hole and began moving it in and out, fucking you with the wet muscle. You shook your head in disbelief of how good he was making you feel. "Peter I'm gonna fucking cum" you screamed, hand reaching down to grab his hair. He picked up the pace and wrapped an arm around your waist so he could could rub your clit. You didn't even get to warn Peter as your orgasm crashed over you. Your arms reached forward to grab the head board while you came so you could hold yourself up. Your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breathe. 

But Peter didn't stop. "Peter I can't" you whined, your body feeling spent. "Yes you can" he mumbled, barely pulling his mouth away from your pussy. You tried to lift yourself up but he held you down against his tongue, fuck him and his super strength. Peter looked up at you again, your brows were scrunched together and your mouth wide open. He tightened his grip on you, grinding you against his face. You felt your second orgasm approaching and Peter could tell. He moved his mouth upwards, sucking on your sensitive clit. You fell forward this time as you came, screaming profanities. Peter let you go and you collapsed onto the bed next to him. He was on top of you in an instant, kissing you like his life depended on it. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him flush against your body, wrapping your legs around his waist. Peter pulled away staring down at you. "How was that?" he asked, and you could tell he was serious. "It was amazing Peter, please fuck me, I need you to fuck me" you practically begged, thrusting your hips against his. His fist slammed into the mattress beside him at the feel of your pussy rubbing against his hard dick. "Holy shit, okay" he groaned and reached to undo his pants when you heard the door to your apartment slam. You both froze. 

"Hey guys, where are you? I'm here! The pizza guy was standing downstairs he said he was for like 15 minutes so I just paid, you can cash app me later.." It was Ned and MJ. "What the fuck" Peter whisper yelled. You pushed him off of you. Throwing his shirt at him. "Get dressed" you panicked. "Tell them I'm in the shower!" you squealed before locking yourself in the bathroom. Peter tugged his shirt on before realizing he still had the biggest hard on in the history of hard ons. "Fuck it" he mumbled walking out into the living room. He gave Ned an unenthusiastic wave and grabbed a slice of pizza. Ned was about to say hi when he noticed Peters boner. "Don't say a word" he grunted, taking a bite and shaking his head at his friends. 

"Every time I come over here something weird is going on..." Ned whispered to himself.

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My first imagine about Peter Parker! Should I do a part two? Let me know, sending you all love.

Part 2 is up! 

[kitkatd7]

Cowboys Don’t Cry

Part 2: Party Crasher

Chapter Summary: When Chris shows up in the least expected place, he sure does make a scene, you return the favor by telling him exactly what you think of him. You end up in a bar. (sorry I suck at summaries)

Series Summary: Chris loved you, he really did, he just… made a lot of mistakes in the past. And now, years later, he wants you back, but he may be too late.  

Pairing: Cowboy!Chris Evans x Reader, Cowboy!Sebastian Stan x Reader! Platonic, Nathan (OC) x Reader

Prompts: I lost you once, and it nearly killed me. I couldn’t bear losing you again. (will be in bold)

Warnings: ANGST, a lot of cursing because this is really emotional, Chris getting smacked (again) mentions of past drinking, A LOT of alcohol consumption and getting drunk. (drink responsibly y’all)

Word Count: 2494

Note: It’s fan-fiction folks, please don’t @ me for it! I hope y’all like it!

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

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This. This was the day you had been anticipating. Waiting on for years… one of the biggest days of your life, finally here- and it had just been demolished. Demolished by him, the moment that he stood up and said those 2 little words; ‘I object’. That was all it took for the past 5 years that you had spent rebuilding your life out of the rubble he created, to come crashing down around you.

You had been standing on the altar in your wedding dress, shasta daisies delicately weaved into your hair, your face glowing, your hands linked with your soon-to-be-husbands… when he appeared from seemingly nowhere.

 You hadn’t expected anyone to object to your marriage, as that never happened- at least until now, and you sure as hell hadn’t expected it to be him. The one person you thought you would never see again. But there he was. Looking at you in such a way that it sent bolts of opposing forces through you; long lost love, resurfacing… and rage; rage that he dared to come here after so many years.

All of your friends and family looked completely horrified at the event, their eyes wide, shocked that someone dared to object, and even more so as it was him. And you, well you were beyond pissed off.

Feeling as if someone punched you in the stomach, you choke out, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” To your fiancé, Nathan. Before anyone can say anything, you rush out the chapel doors and into the reception garden, not caring what anyone thought about the fact you had more or less just ended things with your fiancé. Hot tears stream down your face, ruining your perfectly placed makeup. Just like everything else; ruined.

Hearing footsteps behind you, you turn around, dreading who might be there, expecting to find Nathan.

“Oh, thank god, It’s just you.” You breathe a relieved sigh when you see your best friend Sebastian walking towards you.

“Yeah, just me. Here,” he says, handing you a tissue. “I had these in case I started crying but… I think you need them more than I do.”

Laughing dryly, you take them from him and wipe at your eyes, not doing any good against the onslaught of tears. “What the hell is he doing here, Sebastian?”

Sticking his hands in his blue jeans, he looks at the ground, suddenly finding his boots extremely interesting. “I uh, may have accidentally mentioned it when he called me last night. He drove all the way from Jacksonville…” He mutters guiltily.

“Oh my god, Sebastian! Tell me you didn’t! he is the last person I wanted here! I wanted my mother here more than him and she hates Nathan!” you shout. Burying your hands into your previously perfect, intricately braided hair, you throw your head back and whisper why me to no one in particular.

At that moment Chris and Nathan barrel out of the church doors, glaring at each other. Staring at you as they draw near, they forget about each other and open their mouths to speak.

“No! Don’t say one word. Don’t either of you say a damn thing right now.” You growl, taking a step back and glaring at them.

Putting a hand on Nathan’s shoulder, Sebastian speaks in a low voice. “Maybe you shouldn’t be here right now man.”

Sputtering defiantly, Nathan looks between Sebastian and you incredulously. “What? No, I’m her fiancé! I’m not going anywhere.”

Groaning, you turn away from them all to think for a moment, deciding to focus on the gorgeous pink roses and lilies that are scattered on the tables and throughout the garden while trying to compose yourself. Taking several deep breaths, you steady yourself against the nearby gazebo pole before turning back around and murmuring, “Nathan, maybe you should go…”

Nathan opens and closes his mouth several times, at a loss for words before turning and storming towards the outdoor bar, Sebastian on his heels. Damn it, Sebastian! Sure, leave the two of us here, alone, not like I want to kill him right now or anything.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I-” Chris starts.

Before he can finish you smack him, your rage rushing to the surface once more. “No.” You spit out ferally. “Don’t talk to me you bastard. You don’t get to show up at my wedding after five years of no phone calls, no voicemails, not even a damn text! Then object to my marriage, and then say you’re sorry like that fucking fixes everything!” You yell.

He puts a hand to his face, shocked that you hit him, even though he knows it was more than well deserved.

“Please, just let me explain- “

“Shut the hell up, Christopher! I swear to God that if you say one more word, I will do something that you will regret forever! Understand? I don’t want to hear it right now. I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuse for destroying my wedding day! And I hope your satisfied with yourself now that you ruined my happiness for the second time! And I hope you burn in he- “

Before you can finish, Chris grabs your waist and kisses you fervently, letting go when you push against his chest. “What the hell was that?” you implore, still immensely angry but somewhat relishing the feeling of his lips on yours. Somewhat.

“It was the only thing I could think of to shut you up… I need to tell you something.”

“What?” you ask, breathless and still raging.

 “I still love you,” He murmurs, his hands still gripping your hips as if he would never let go.

Scoffing, you stare into his ocean eyes, conflicted emotions racing through you faster than you can comprehend them. You want to hate him, but you can’t.

“I never stopped loving you… it was always you. I just didn’t realize it until you were gone. Please Y/N, I am begging you, please don’t marry him. I lost you once, and it nearly killed me. I couldn’t bear losing you again.”

Just comprehending that you had kissed your ex, you push away from him. “But why now?!” you cry out incredulously.  “I was going to be married… I was finally going to have my happily ever after! And you just ruined everything…” you whisper, looking away from him.

Grabbing your hand, he runs his thumb over the back of it absentmindedly. It makes you want to pull away, but you don’t. “Y/N, I know I messed up, it was the royal mess up of mess-ups… and I am so so so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was a selfish ass and I drove away the most important person in my life… And I have regretted it every day since. You have no idea how many nights I spent trying to numb the pain at a bar. I considered it a good day if I made it through without crying. Hell, I still can’t hear that song without breaking down and pulling over…” He trails off and stares at you for a moment, thinking even like this; hair wild, eyes slightly red, makeup a mess and tear tracks on your cheeks, you are the still most beautiful woman he has ever seen. 

“What about me?” you murmur sadly, “What about all the nights I spent crying into my pillow, huh? What about MY heartbreak? Do you have any idea how long it took me to get over you?” You pause, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “And just when I thought I finally was, here you are in your damn jean jacket with your stupidly perfect jawline and hair, telling me how hard it was for you!” You yell, breaking away from him and grabbing a plate from a nearby table, smashing it against the chair, tears of anger making their way down your face once more. “Fuck… I can’t do this; I can’t be here now- not with you.” You ramble, rushing past him to the parking lot, climbing into your truck and leaving him in a cloud of dust. Again.

Leaving him with an ocean of emotions swirling around; guilt, despair, worry and no small amount of confusion, all mixed together in a heart-wrenching amount of love. Stumbling blindly towards his truck, he climbs in and slams the door, losing the battle against the tears as they stream down his face.

—————————————

A few hours later, Chris wanders into a bar, fittingly called The Rodeo Bar. Barstools well used, lighting low, a gentle-looking barkeep and a few patrons scattered here and there, either dancing with their partner to a country song playing through the speakers or drinking merrily… or trying to drown memories. He knew what the latter felt like.

“How did you know I’d be here?” You mumble into your glass when Chris slides onto the wooden stool next to you.

“You always went to Bad Habits when you were feeling down, and I figured this joint was the closest thing to it… Also, Seb said you might end up here,” He says while you scoff and order another round. “So um, where’s Nathan?” He presses.

“Oh, he um- he isn’t coming back, ever…” you mumble, staring into your new drink.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He murmurs, not sounding sorry in the least bit, despite his efforts.

Chuckling dryly, you take a gulp of your jungle juice. “You always were a terrible liar, Chris.”  Turning to face him in your slightly inebriated state, you ask, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to get a drink,” He says, doing just that and ordering a scotch.

Chuckling again you turn back to the bar and polish off your drink, ordering another, not caring that this is your fourth in the past 20 minutes- Or maybe it was your fifth? You couldn’t remember.

“Okay… now what are you really doing here?”

“I just told you.”

Rolling your eyes and scoffing you turn towards him again. “Don’t give me that bullshit Christopher. I know you better than that.”

As if suddenly finding his drink very interesting, he fiddles with the glass while staring at it and whispering, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Throwing your head back you laugh humorlessly. “Oh, I’m fantastic! Let me tell you how my life’s been lately- I had my ex cheat on me a week before our anniversary, show up and crash my damn wedding after 5 years, then my fiancé left me, my parents might disown me… I should be on my honeymoon in London or at least someplace romantic! And now I’m sitting in an old bar in the middle of Montana drinking with my ex! But besides all of that, I’m wonderful, thanks for asking!” You half yell, words dripping venom and sarcasm.

“Y/N, I- “

“Oh, just shut the hell up and drink, Chris, I don’t want to hear it.” 

After several more drinks, you were definitely gone, slurring your words and feeling dizzy but not wanting to call it a night. “I think you’ve had enough now…” Chris says gently, setting your drink away from you while you whine in protest. “Mm no- give me my drink back.” You pout. “Pleaseee Chris! Just a little more s’all I want.”

“No, you’ve had more than enough now.”

“You aren’t my boss Christoph- “ You cut off when Wildfire And Whiskey comes through the speakers above you. Your face lights up and you move towards the open dance floor, dragging Chris behind you. “C’mon, dance with me!” You laugh, extremely drunk. Swaying your hips sensually to the music you ignore Chris as he folds his arms over his chest, giving you ‘the eyebrows of disappointment’ as you call them. Not that you care.

“Okay that’s it, I’m taking you home, let’s go,” He says when you start dancing with a stranger, practically dragging you out the door and putting you into his truck.

————————————-

Opening the passenger door, Chris shakes your shoulder gently and whispers, “Y/N, wake up, your home.”

“Oh, heyy baby,” you whisper, beyond intoxicated.

Groaning, Chris runs a hand over his face in exasperation. “God, you’re so drunk, C’mon, let’s go to bed.” He huffs, lifting you out of his truck, bridal style. “Oh, we’re going to bed?” you sigh sleepily, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder. “I hope you brought other clothes then,” you giggle.

Chris chuckles at your drunken state, sending deep vibrations through his chest. “Not me Y/N, just you.” He tells you, opening the front door with the key Sebastian lent him.

“Are you sureee?” You slur out, looking up at him through hooded eyes while he carries you up the stairs to your bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Laying you down on your bed, Chris moves to your dresser, rummaging through it until he finds an oversized, black t-shirt. Moving back to you, he starts to slip your dress over your head, stopping and grabbing your wrists when you grab at the hem of his shirt in an attempt to rid him of it. “No, Y/N.”

“Why not?” you pout, looking up at him in a daze.

“Not while you’re like this, okay? Get some sleep.”

“While I’m like what?” You question, attempting to sit up but falling backward again.

“Drunk,” He says, barely containing a chuckle. Successfully changing you into the t-shirt he tucks you under the royal blue sheets. Pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead he turns to leave, stopping and leaning on the doorframe when he hears you murmur his name. “Mm, I love you,” you mutter, your eyes drooping closed, your hair splayed wildly about your head on the pillow.

“I love you too…” He whispers, but you’re already asleep. Chris leaves as the sweetest pain washes over him, knowing he can’t trust what you said while you’re like this, but desperately wishing he could.

————————————–

Note: I’m sorry it’s not as good as the first chapter but I hope you enjoyed it! Taglists are OPEN!! Send me an ask if you want to be added! 

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[escapekissed]

Lucky do you have any favorite pieces of media from the psychological horror genre? Feels like its a genre that matches ur interests very well 👉🏽👈🏽

there are a couple that really speak to me!

first is rule of rose, which is a game that is incredibly formative to me. in a time where i was looking for representation as a young gay person and REALLY into looking up wiki pages for horror games, rule of rose showed me the symbolic trauma of puberty and toxic ‘love’ between girl children and the violence of patriarchal figures that i was looking for. it showed such cruelty but also such strength in its main character, and the symbolism? exquisite.... it also just has such a creepy atmosphere and the fact that the game is near impossible to play along with its shitty graphics for the enemies makes it so. peculiar and creepy in a very special way to me.

catherine is another atlus game near and dear to my heart, tho i dont  think i’m ever going to be playing full body for that exact reason. it’s a game basically about eugenics and misogyny, about gods&devils thinking of women as only reproductive objects and the men in their lives that ‘waste their reproductive time’ being tortured and killed for it, taking away a woman’s choice. i always thought it would be so interesting to do trans and lesbian takes on this game, and i have never really? stopped thinking about how this game is so thrilling in its themes of entitlement and stopping people’s freedom to love as they wish. this is also one of the only horror games in which the ‘human element’ actually interests me. so many horror games give u terrible people and i dont give a FUCK ABOUT THEM. but the way this game shows u just snippets of his life as a ‘break’ from the excruciatingly scary (to me, because time limits scare me LOL), stressful as hell puzzles. and u get to figure out the mystery of what is going on in people who would otherwise be boring to you, but in this game are shrouded in just enough mystery that ur actually interested in their boring day-to-day lives. its so satisfying just to drink with ur buds. its like really great gameplay to me tbh. i also just love katherine and catherine and they frusturate me so much and that’s exactly what they’re supposed to do which i LOVE. extremely effective atmosphere setting and worldbuilding, basically.

the lighthouse is my favorite horror movie tbh because it does suspense so well. the movie is literally themed around suspense, the suspense of not getting sexual satisfaction to completion, of being touch starved and lonely and repressed, of being able to hold ur boss but never kiss him, of being fed lobster but it tastes flavorless and bland and u can smell ur boss’s farts the whole time while he prattles on with disturbing sailor’s tales and barks out orders until he’s lulled into his drink. i honestly love this movie. and the acting is brilliant and unhinged

there’s a few indie games i really like that have been either formative to me or i just??? really like their vibe and i can basically tell from them i would like every game in the ‘genre.’

pocket mirror to me is like, this beautiful game about your own inner toxicity and escaping from yourself. i love indie 64-bit games like this, the background art is so beautiful, and while i’ve never played all the way through it because it scares me too much---i love ib and all the games in the ‘ib’ genre LOL.

doki doki literature club i know is a very strange game to like, but i enjoy it for letting the women be actual characters with their own thoughts and feelings. the pychological horror movie ‘i’m thinking of ending things’ is the exact opposite of this game.'i’m thinking of ending things’ is a backwards approach to feminist horror in my opinion. it’s from a male’s perspective of his hallucinations of a girl that once didn’t give him a second glance and his violence towards her in these fantasies. it takes itself painfully seriously. it pretends to deconstruct something that the director helped soldify (the manic pixie dream girl trope) in the public eye. doki doki literature club on the other hand, the passive character who ‘things happen to’ is the man. the active roles all go to the women in the game and what they do to themselves in order to be loved by not just a man, but the player, and in doing so they often become the all-knowing god of their own prison. like tell me that’s not the dopest thing u’ve ever heard of!

twilight zone is a big one for me but 5 episodes in particular have shaped how i view horror forever. ‘to serve man’---where the greatest, scariest thing in the world is not being able to understand the language another person is actually using and for them to manipulate u using ur own, actually wishing u harm as they placate you with your own interpretations. the episode where a rich man’s last will and testament is for his vain, selfish relatives to wear a mask until midnight that reveals symbolically how ugly they are to him. they bicker all night with petty squabbles, and then at midnight he reveals the mask has permeanantly shaped their faces to reveal who they really are and the abuse he suffered under them. the cornfield episode still scares the shit out of me as someone with an entitled younger brother whose entitlement and anger is often enabled by those around us, and i’ve always thought that it was such a good show of like, how patriarchy enables little boy’s violence. the episode ‘all the time in the world’ where an abused man with a shitty life is finally the last man on earth and he can do anything he’d like to do and all he wants to do is read but then he breaks his glasses. and finally! the episode where toys in a box come to life and bemoan their fate as they realize they will be trapped there forever in clothes and identities they do not recognize. these episodes always scare the shit out of me LOL.

besides that i really like. low-budget passion project indie games. the first that comes to mind is ‘the path’ which is about a family of four sisters of various ages all inspired by little red riding hood who stray from the path and are hunted by the woodsman. and then the game that YOU my dear myers! showed me! that haunts me to this day. basically a tape talks to you about the areas of a house and then starts to talk about the house as a living creature. and the living creature is hungry, without you inside it. the living creature is tired of being alone, it’s tired of being abandoned, it’s tired, and it’s eyes are empty with no one in the windows, and it’s mind is blank with no one in the bedroom, and it’s hangry there’s no one in its basement to feast on, to torment as it has been tormented by disuse.

last but not least, i really enjoy the book ‘sharp objects.’ which is not technically a horror novel. but it is about a serial killer, and about women and abuse and it has some of the best writing ever. so i highly recommend it AND the miniseries (watch the miniseries first then read the book bc the miniseries is like. directed better? but the novel is written and characterized better. it’s also very short u can finish it in like a day and a half).

honorable mentions for horror In General (not necessarily psychological horror) are: 1) the birdcage. i honestly consider this movie entirely unsettling. robin williams failing to portray a man that is actually attracted to nathan lane, which could be because they have simply been married so long but also is just awful to me in general bc it makes me feel like even our outwardly gay but still more masc gay men can’t love and be attracted to femme camp gays even when they’re married to them. the fact that both these men that could be so in love, that were so in love at one time, you can at the very least imagine, are told by their only son that they need to go back in the closet to impress some old ass republicans, giving the message that no matter how succesful you are in the gay community, no matter how bright and wonderful a presence you are, no matter how loving you are, no matter how much you love, no matter how interwoven you are in lgbt-ness, the straight people you love most will still try to change you to impress the wold. horrifying.

2) coraline. its children’s horror but that’s still horror baby! i think lately about how much the movie talks about mothers and birth. coraline calls whybie ‘why born’ and i just think about how much she thinks about creating a new life with a new mother, and how going through that small door into a long tube... it’s like crawling into a new womb and being reborn to a new mother that loves you. and that’s horrific from a feminist perspective in and of itself---that your child would feel so unloved and unimportant to you that she would literally... rather die in this life, technically, rather be ‘unborn’ to you and born anew to someone, someone just like you but better, someone just like you but what SHE wants a mother to be, feminine and skirted and smiling. and then there’s the fact that coraline only gives this up when she realizes her other mother basically wants to change her more to suit her liking in ways that would cause her pain, at which point she realizes this whole fantasy is a lie, not real, something meant to entice her and control her and make her ‘perfect’---the same way she wants her mother & father to be ‘perfect’ in a way that causes her to act out and hurt them. it’s psychological horror that’s technically not psychological horror in the best way, something you can really dig your teeth into, something that has so many layers to it. and the animation! gorgeous!

3) finally i have recently watched annihilation. and it kind of changed my life a little bit.... so often we’re used to viewing monsters as either 1) malicious or 2) romantic/sad/sexy. but the monster in this movie is literally a metaphor for cervical cancer. 

to me, the monsters and the corpses and all the beautiful scenery in this movie, in every color u can think of, a muted rainbow of flowers and nature at its best and most bizarre and sprawling. i often say that monsters are beautiful, but tbh, i feel like... somehow i always mean that in a way that is near-fetishitic, somehow self-depcrating way, where i want to consider what other people think is ‘ugly’ is ‘beautiful to me’ because what i am also ugly to other people as a monster to the cishet white patriarchy. there are things i consider beautiful, certainly, purely beautiful. but when i talk about monsters being beautiful, it is in the way the sublime is beautiful. it scares me, it haunts me, i love it, i want to possess it as part of me, a totem to carry in my back pocket to make the strength in my own ugliness stronger.

when i saw the monster in this movie (SPOILERS) i was immediately unnerved at this bad cgi abomination that bloomed from the most beautiul cgi cancer death cosmos imaginable. it scared me and i had to sleep with a light on for 2 days after LOL. but i was also moved by its gentleness. by the fact that the cervical cancer alien, when it tried to hurt you, wasn’t trying to hurt you at all. it was simply copying your movements. in the movie, it says that the creature wants nothing. it was simply copying. it was simply changing. it’s a prism of nature---and it corrupts yes, and it can hurt people and things and turn them into scary but still terribly unique and beautiful things that also kill---but the movie says that it wants nothing. it simply exists. it’s a part of nature, same as us, a part of the same universe and cosmos, despite being alien to us and stange and hurting us sometimes in ways that it doesn’t understand.

i don’t know. if i quite believe the movie when it says that, though. because i think if you copy someone, like a child would, you are trying to understand them. you are trying to understand yourself. you are trying to form yourself in another’s image when you have none, and you are failing at that, and hurting people and creating monsters in the process, but you are trying as best as you can to be whole and beautiful and sane like the lovely creatures you’ve met on this earth, or this body. to be part of something great and beautiful. to be part of another world.

maybe it doesn’t want anything. but do WE want anything as children, when we copy adults? why did the bear and the alligator try to eat our heroes if they were not hungry? did the bear and the alligator not WANT to eat? i think everything wants to live, and everything wants to grow, and if it can learn to live better and grow better it Will learn even if that is not its explicit intention. does the alien have feelings? does nature? do we have to personify things to understand them? no. does personifying things make us understand them less? no, yes, sometimes. we ask animals and nature to copy us, follow us, so that we can understand them better. the relationship in between----from the hurt, from the pain, from the droughts and the food shortages and the hurricanes and the fireworks---forms from our kindness and understanding. that our crops are useful, and the man-made mutation of our crops and the help of the ran and the sun is also useful. that our animals may not love us, but they need us, and we love them for putting their paw on our thighs to be pet, for following us into the bathroom even when we just wanted a moment alone.

regardless of its intentions, the alien, cancer, every creature, every human, they simply want to grow. in copying others---in trying to touch, to change, to understand, and be close---we learn to live in the same body, learn to live in the same world. the togetherness--the new sight the prism brings---it’s beautiful. it is beautiful to copy, however poorly. it is beautiful to try. we all shape others to our own standards---we sometimes forget we too, were made in own own perception of others’ image.

[thefieryeclipse]

“The Wall” Petlar - Pride Month

In honour of Pride, I’m reposting a segment from my post-series Heroes WIP as a short story here on Tumblr. You can consider it a standalone if you like, or if you want to read more you can find the full fic here ^.^

I hope you enjoy this dive into the memories of Petlary goodness behind “The Wall”!

(M, slash, m/m, angst, blood, tears, fluff, feels)

(This gorgeous gif, my favourite one ever, doesn’t belong to me. All credit to the original creator, but sadly I still don’t know who that is!)

SPOILERS BELOW FOR “TONGUES OF FIRE” - Chapter 38

Peter awoke on the ground, but he couldn't remember getting there.

Everything was silent. A pressing white noise so vacant it was deafening, and nothing at all stirred but the slow rise and fall of his chest. Lying on his back, he opened his eyes to the velvet blanket of a vast, cloudless sky high above.

A sky that was... flashing?

Confused, Peter frowned up at the moon chasing the sun between elongated skyscrapers, shadows washing over him where he lay while days and nights passed before his eyes like the swinging beat of a pendulum.

Feeling oddly weightless, he picked himself up from the middle of an abandoned city street, lined on both sides by a row of neat trees. And suddenly the niggling thought that he was forgetting something important didn't seem to matter anymore, that he was supposed to be somewhere else.

He didn't understand. It should have been New York City. The streets Peter had grown up in, the island on which he'd spent nearly every day of his life, but he didn't know this place. It was an amalgamation, a hybrid, a new face whose features merely resembled those of his hometown. The city was deserted: empty streets and empty buildings lined with a million windows gaping at him like hollowed eye sockets, watching him struggle to find his bearings. There were no signs of life. Not even a car had been abandoned by the sidewalk, not one old newspaper fluttered through the windless air. Peter shivered, although there was no temperature. His faint breath shuddered, although there was no sound.

And then the echo of raised voices behind him made his heart thump loudly in his chest.

Peter span just as the sun froze in the sky, high on the crest of a bright and clear morning. He recognised the voices rebounding off vacant husks of buildings around him, just before two men turned a corner and appeared into view, one storming ahead while the other tagged along angrily at his heels. Peter couldn't have hid even if he wasn't exposed out in a wide open road, his feet rooting him to the spot as his blood instantly ran cold.

“...like it or not, Peter, you're stuck here forever, with me, and I am trying here! Are you? 'Cause it sure as hell doesn't feel like it!”

“Am I supposed to feel guilty? You murdered my brother, I don't owe you anything!”

“Yes, I did. I murdered him.” Sylar snarled, and although he wasn't shouting this time his words reverberated further, more clearly, than the others before. “I slit his throat and watched him bleed out and I didn't even care. He died alone, Peter. Scared. Defeated -”

“Stop it!”

Heart racing faster, Peter saw himself turn on his enemy, hands balled into fists at his side. Sylar stopped walking in response, head held high. And all the while Peter was outside it all, unharmed, invisible on the outskirts as he just stood there gazing at the surreal sight unfolding before him. Holy shit.

“- And I've said it a thousand times before, and even if you don't believe me that doesn't change the fact that I'm -”

“Don't!”

“- Sorry.”

The word ricocheted around the barren city. It lodged itself in Peter's gut like a bullet shard, sympathy pains felt from the shaking young empath standing before him in the distance. “Stop saying that. You don't mean it. If you were sorry you wouldn't have killed him. If you were sorry you wouldn't have killed any of them.”

Sylar scowled after the smaller man as he continued storming along the street, drawing closer to where his dream-like counterpart stood. Neither of them noticed him at all.

“Oh I get it,” The killer tagged along again, more infused with a fiery emotion than Peter had ever known him. “You've never made a mistake. You've never looked back and wished for a do-over. That you could change, that you'd made different choices, that you knew then what you know now, because your life has been nothing but a series of winning decisions, is that what you're saying?!” Sylar grabbed after his accuser, wrenching him back around by the arm. “'Cause from where I'm standing, it looks like they only served to land you in the exact same shithole as mine.”

Peter tugged himself free. “At least I never killed everyone who ever tried to love me!”

The following silence rang out loudly. Now close enough to the pair to make out the nuances in both men's faces, Peter watched with a weight constricting his chest as Sylar reeled, deeply wounded. Regret shone plainly on his own self's face, for just a heartbeat too long before it was forcibly concealed behind a mask of defiance.

Sylar's reply was quiet, but not gentle. “Loved ones. Mothers. Friends. Tell me, where are yours, Peter?”

The counter attack winded Peter Petrelli. Both the haunted man currently backing away from his enemy's space, and the spectre set adrift in the strange city that didn't belong to him. Peter and Sylar glared at one another, two lost souls forced together among nothingness, concrete, brick and stone, the double-bladed burn of rage rising between them like smoke in the air.

Sylar tipped his head slightly in a manner anyone else could construe as sympathetic. “I wonder what's worse? The thought that everyone else out there is dead; or that none of your precious heroes have bothered to look for you all this time?” He twitched one heavy eyebrow to hammer the point home. “Do you think anyone's even noticed you're missing? Or do they just not care?”

For a moment, the looming promise of an echoing crack of a punch rang throughout the city. But none came. Peter didn't attack, and he didn't make a sound beyond the pained catching of his breath. Then he tightened his fists and turned his back on Sylar one last time, picking up the pace as he left the killer behind.

“Like it or not, Petrelli, I'm all you've got!” Sylar called after him, teeth bared. “And neither of us are going anywhere for a long, long time!”

Peter's heart lurched when his other self faltered a step, almost level with where he hid, veiled out of time. He fought the urge to reach out and bridge the impassable distance with a touch, as the same vulnerability and fear that itched within his ribcage flickered over the other man's face, pooling in his eyes. But then his dream counterpart pushed on, leaving a full, unobstructed view of Sylar's dampening temper in his wake.

Slowly, the killer's scowl eased. He hunched in on himself, watching every step as his only means of company walked away.

It might have been the first time Peter had ever witnessed something close to shame from the guy. Something close to regret. It was a painful pill to swallow, like it went down the wrong way. And when Sylar finally dropped his eyeline to the ground and turned his back, Peter hurried to follow his own footsteps deeper into the city without pausing to witness one more second of the killer.

But as soon as he took his first step the sky fast-forwarded again and he was alone.

Morning became noon became night as Peter found himself lost among vacant streets and stretching shadows that snatched at his heels like fingers. Guided by an invisible cord looped around his waist, he searched with no direction, intention or idea where he was going, just a ghost adrift in an endless maze that re-arranged itself in his peripheral vision.

He lost track of how many times the sun rolled across the sky before it stalled once again, a red glimmer hanging low between the towering spires of skyscrapers. Peter stopped running, somehow not even out of breath, once he was framed in the open mouth of a back alley, the sunset staining a towering brick wall blocking the far end crimson.

The hairs on the back of his neck tickled as he caught sight of himself once again, unmistakable in his fury, stalking the length of the alley ahead.

At the far end, Sylar climbed to his feet at the base of the wall to accommodate the approach. And even from this far away, with merely one glimpse of him, he certainly didn't look like the same, smug serial killer Peter's nightmares had been plagued by for years.

Again locked in place, he watched himself stomp towards the murderer without easing or slowing down; watched Sylar ball his hands into fists but not lift them; watched himself raise his arms and tackle Sylar around the neck, winding him, knocking the breath from them both – 

But it wasn't a fight. Instead, they both swayed with the momentum of something so unexpected, something so harmless, as a hug.

Alone on the outskirts of this secret, Peter's throat tightly constricted. He couldn't breathe. He didn't need to. He was only a ghost, anyway.

Floating closer to the exchange, he couldn't seem to make sense of the bewilderment shining plainly across Sylar's face. Or his own arms holding the guy close, or the sound of his soft, strangled voice muffled in the depths of Sylar's shoulder.

As if he hadn't ever been a mortal enemy. As if he wasn't a ruthless serial killer. As if he'd never heartlessly cut down Nathan Petrelli in his prime.

“You were right.” Realistically, the words shouldn't have rebounded down the alley, but Peter heard them anyway. “No one's out there looking for us. No one's coming to save us. It's just you and me, Sylar, and I just can't... I can't fight with you anymore.”

Peter's arms tightened around the taller man. And only then did Sylar let his eyes flutter closed and tentatively place his hands on Peter's back. He bent down into the hug, returning it, indulging in the feel of it as if it were the first of his life.

“It's down to us. Alright?” Peter continued huskily. “It's you and me, and I don't wanna live this way forever. I can't carry this... this hate much longer. I can't.” He paused to chase a breath, and when he continued his voice was dangerously close to cracking. “We can't keep going like this if we're gonna survive, here. We've gotta do better, Sylar. We've gotta make it work. Okay?”

For a long time the men simply stood there entwined, rocking slightly on the spot, where no one could see them and no one would ever know. And in that reprieve it didn't matter that they'd shattered one another in the past, or that they shouldn't want to hold each other close, because for a moment it was as if the fights had never happened and the miles of blood stained history belonged to someone else.

Watching, Peter struggled to swallow when Sylar slowly nodded his head in agreement. When he then pried the smaller man away with gentle hands and an unfamiliar softness to his eyes, and just held him there close, looking down into his face as the whisper floated down the alley and imprinted into the witness's skin.

“I want to make it work, Peter...”

Time sped up again before he could see what happened next, before he was ready, erasing the men, the wall and the words from the slate like they'd never existed at all.

Day and night pulsed around Peter once more as he struggled to keep up, resuming the endless path to nowhere with less blind trust than before. As he searched vacant streets he shivered, and as he walked broken roads he worried, plagued with the strangest sense that this time he'd left more than just the alley behind.

The city warped around him. Buildings moved when he wasn't looking. Brief flashes of sunlight revealed new sights that hadn't been there the moment before. And then night fell steady and constant upon the world and Peter was somehow high atop a rusting fire escape, outside the only window in the sprawling city that housed the warm glow of light. Of life.

Helpless to resist, he numbly phased through the window as if he were a phantom, heart pounding heavier than ever in his chest.

Inside, the apartment was dark, cluttered, unfamiliar. Floating shelves lined the walls, packed to the brim with canned food while their previous occupants scattered the floor in precarious piles of books. A workbench stood near the back wall, buried beneath some sort of mechanical scraps Peter couldn't make out from here. But he wasn't really looking. Because that glow of a light didn't come from within these rooms, he now realised, but from between them.

A hidden hatch stood open in one wall. A two-way mirror that revealed a winding, shadowy corridor beyond. And the swinging light bulb within lured Peter in deeper as if he didn't have a choice but to obey.

Just as before, the two living souls in this place didn't look up as he approached them in the dark. They didn't even acknowledge him. And just as before, Peter couldn't name the mass of emotions that ached within his chest at the very sight of himself and Sylar, sitting silently side by side on the floor, their backs against the dusty inside of a wall.

The taste of horror seemed familiar on his tongue. But if this was due to the tears currently drying on Sylar's flushed face, or the desperate screams scrawled by bloody fingertips on the walls, he couldn't decide.

“It's from... before. Way before, when my ability first...” Sylar tried then faded off, as if he didn't even know the words. Meanwhile, sitting beside him, Peter nodded and took a steadying breath, caught between giving his split attention to the crying man or the ghastly bloodied 'forgive me's towering above.

“S'okay.”

“No, Peter. It's not.”

Still sniffling slightly, the killer turned to Peter, exhausted and unguarded and unashamed of his vulnerability in a way that sent more spasms tightly clenching through the empath's heart. Because this wasn't an act and it wasn't a pity plea, and as much as he hated it, and as much as the sight made his stomach cramp as if he were about to throw up, Peter couldn't tear his gaze away from the blatantly human sight of the man visible in fractures behind his shattered facade.

Sylar's voice was soft when he elaborated, thick with a recent burst of emotion that had yet to fade. “None of it is okay. No matter what I do or how many times I start, I can never get past... this.” He blinked rapidly, not quite looking at a hundred broken attempts at redemption pressing in on him from all sides. “I've tried. I really tried, so many times, and I wanted to be better. But after all these years... I just don't think I'm strong enough on my own. And no one has ever stayed long enough to...” He stopped himself again, scowling at his own self-pity.

The Peter on the ground tore his focus from the sorry sight of Sylar, looking up again upon the defaced walls. A timeline. A mural of blood, sweat and tears, a memorial of the killer's endless battle with his demons. And Peter drank in each word despite the burn.

Please forgive me... Help me... I'm sorry... Forgive me... Please...

He closed his eyes just briefly, biting his lip. “I will.”

“What?”

“I'll stay.” Peter clarified, sighing out all the tension in his frame. Sylar stared at him. “I won't leave you. I won't run out on you. I won't lie, or betray you, or manipulate you like my mother did.” Now Sylar looked so affronted that a sudden telekinetic choke hold wouldn't be a surprise. But instead he just gaped at Peter, lips twitching soundlessly as he struggled to untangle his thoughts into something resembling words. “If you're serious about wanting to be better, Sylar... I'll help you.” Peter finished, a soft exhale. Only then did he meet the killer's eyes, and there was no room for doubt in that tiny corridor that he knew exactly what he was signing himself up for. That they all did.

Silence stretched for a long time. Until the older man recovered some semblance of his vocal chords. “Wh-why would you want to do that?” The question was laced with hope and suspicion, two compounds at war with each other.

But Peter just looked at him, and the honesty on his face was clear for all to see. “'Cause the guy who wrote this?” He glanced back at the blood-scrawled walls as if pained. “He never had that chance. And maybe if someone had just listened to him back then... none of this would've happened.” He offered Sylar a sad little curve of his lips. “Maybe all you needed was a friend.”

The killer's heavy brows eased from their furrow. Fresh tears streamed from his disbelieving eyes. Too late, he seemed to notice what was happening and averted his face, tremors consuming his hunched form.

And rather than leave, Peter leaned into him, a comforting warmth. And rather than recoil, the empath reached for Sylar's hand and held it gently, surely, and just sat with the man in silence while he cried.

And then time shifted forward again.

Left reeling on the spot, Peter the spectator, the ghost, tried to blink away the blurriness stinging at his own eyes. When it subsided he saw he was no longer crowded by bloody prayers or that lone, swinging light bulb: he was back outside on the fire escape. And that same old cord, his guide, was pulling him on again, but he didn't want to answer the call this time.

The tangled mass of feeling expanded further inside with every step he ascended the rusty staircase. More years flew past within moments. And the whispering breath of wind grew louder the higher he climbed.

On the final step, darkness blanketed the city for the last time. The sky was vast and starless high above, the rooftop captured in the cool tones and hues of the illusive moment between evening and night. Shaking slightly, it took Peter a moment to realise that the whispering breaths didn't belong to the wind, after all. And through shadow he discerned the shapes of two bodies on the ground, naked and writhing beneath a bundle of discarded clothing.

He meant to jump back from the scene but the steel cord wouldn't let him. So Peter was forced to hide here in the dark, unable to feel his limbs at the sight of his own self kissing the lips of his enemy. The pair broke apart with deep, shuddering breaths, and Peter watched himself lie back and smile sleepily at the man in his arms.

Then a murmur punctured the night, sending goosebumps rolling down his spine.

“Do you trust me, Peter?”

“Why, you think I'd do that with just anyone?” The empath chuckled and pressed a kiss to Sylar's shoulder. But when the man didn't laugh Peter propped himself up on an elbow to better look down upon him. “What's up, buddy?” He prompted with another small smile, trailing a hand over the killer's bare chest and stirring the hair there.

The gesture was so natural and yet so obscene, that in the rational corner of his mind Peter wanted to yell and run – no fly – away before he saw something else he'd never be able to shake. But he was still chained in place by something heavier than shock, and the warden of fate wouldn't let him move or even make a sound. Instead, he bore witness to the exchange of intimate touches, adoration, a familiarity that he'd never been able to keep with anyone in reality.

“I was just thinking about Elle.” Sylar confessed, looking up into the darkening sky.

Peter's caresses slowed. “Oh.” The spectre watched his own face fall slightly, far too familiar with that feeling not to experience second hand rejection gnawing at him now.

“Not like that.” Sylar appeased Peter slightly by prying the man's hand from his chest to absently entwine their fingers, but still didn't drop his gaze from the heavens. “I was thinking about how... how I didn't kill her for her ability. I killed her because she betrayed me.”

Peter frowned, the ease from earlier fading. “Is that supposed to make it okay?”

“No. But it makes it different. She lied to me. It was... personal, the others weren't.” Peter's sigh finally earned Sylar's full attention, and when the smaller man untangled himself from the killer as if to get up, Sylar held onto his wrist, keeping him there. “I could have loved her, Peter.”

On the far side of the rooftop, Peter felt that word impact like a sledgehammer to the gut. Love. But on the ground, he didn't look surprised by this information at all, reluctantly indulging the other man with a scowl still dirtying his brow.

“I trusted her. I let her in. But she...” Sylar's expression grew distant then, cast back through time. “...Recoiled. And I reacted. It was... fragile.”

The empath huffed impatiently through his nose, biting his lip. “What're you trying to tell me, Sylar?”

Sylar fell quiet, his face unmasked in a way that was entirely unfamiliar to his enemy. And more than he had when intruding upon the secret closet of bloody remorse, or catching the pair naked and breathless with sweat still drying on their skin, Peter felt wrong, voyeuristic, to be spying on such an intimate sight from the shadows as that expression.

Sylar reached up to trail Peter's long, tousled hair from obscuring his eye, a painfully sweet gesture. And when he took a breath it shook slightly. “This place? You and me? Whatever the hell we've gotten ourselves into... It's fragile, too. It's special.” He gave up on the stubborn lock when it refused to stay put, dropping his hands to fold across his stomach. A shadow of affliction passed over his face. “And if people knew they'd try to take it from us.”

Peter relaxed back down over his companion, lips quirking up on the working side. “Then we won't let them.”

Sylar tried to smile in response to the gentle nuzzling of his nose. A weak, short-lived thing. “You're too trusting, Peter, and I'm too destructive and it would be easy, too easy, to ruin this if they wanted, which they will. And if we ever do wake up and all this feels like a dream, I don't want there to be any doubts between us. Nothing they can use.”

Concern ghosted across Peter's features. He climbed free of his companion to fall flat on his back beside him, looking unseeingly into the ebony void far above. “Why are you saying these things?” He hugged his arms around his own torso, suddenly feeling the cold he hadn't a moment before.

And the spectre on the sidelines only drew closer to the scene, ever helpless, defenseless to resist.

Sylar turned his head to survey Peter, shadows emphasising the heavy angles of his face while his messy hair splayed out around him, thick and dark on the ground. He should have looked dangerous lying there so close, heart rate still elevated, skin still heated. He shouldn't have looked handsome, striking in his vulnerability. But he did. And only more so when amusement brightened the serial killer's features through the slight pursing of his lips. “Do you remember I told you about Lydia from the carnival?”

Still refusing to look at him, Peter just nodded, only more confused. An affectionate smirk twinkled at the corners of Sylar's eyes. And he was even less recognisable as the brutal murderer that had ripped reality to shreds in his wake.

“I've been thinking for a while, now. And if we ever get outta here... I want you to use her ability on me.”

At first, Peter just met the man's eyes, blinking quickly at him while he processed. Then he pushed himself into a sitting position, squinting down at Sylar as if the statement would be clearer from that angle. His hand shook while he ran it through his disheveled hair, and only upon close inspection was it evident that Sylar was holding his breath.

Stunned, Peter could barely muster his voice. “You'd trust me to read your soul?” He looked unsure, as if at any moment he expected his companion to reveal it as some sort of joke. But Sylar only nodded, that knowing, affectionate smirk washing across the rest of his features. And sudden tears welled up in the empath's eyes, refusing to fall, in the moment the truth finally hit home. “Really?” He breathed, a sound so small it couldn't carry the short distance across the rooftop.

But from above, his ethereal counterpart heard it anyway. And he saw Sylar laugh a little in response to Peter's disbelief, the deep, pleasant sound catching in his chest.

Equal parts horrified and entranced, Peter struggled to believe what he was witnessing from this man and that voice and those lips: the fearsome lone wolf who'd always killed before letting someone get too close, close enough to hurt him.

Yet, he saw his other self's eyes roam between Sylar's, so close below his own. And looking at the men now, having already obliterated so many boundaries to have gotten this far, sharing in the midst of the rubble they'd created, Peter could see every scar that had transpired between them, scrawling signatures embedded below one another's skin. They'd never be free of the other. They were already imprinted, marked forever like tattoos.

And for the very first time, it looked something close to beautiful.

On the ground, eyes wide and glistening, Peter hesitated slightly before skimming his knuckles across Sylar's cheekbone. The murderer caught his hand, cradling it between both his larger, stronger ones, the hands that had spilled an ocean of innocent blood long ago. “Only if you want it,” he smirked, “otherwise I was joking.”

Peter's answering grin illuminated his entire face, an emotion so potent that his unseen counterpart hungered for it, ached for it, even just to know what it felt like.

Because he was pretty sure he'd never smiled like that in his life. And he'd never known such a certainty as he was witnessing unfold before him now. As far back as he could remember, nobody had ever trusted him that much. He'd never found that someone who thought him special enough to want to hold, to want to keep, to want to let so close that it was literally, humanly impossible.

And now his heart broke when he saw himself lie back down against the rooftop, and his last reservations fell and pooled around his ankles as his other self leaned in and murmured against Sylar's lips.

“Alright.” He promised.

The kiss was gentle, intimate, achingly tender even from the outside. Soft lips against lips, hands cradling bare skin, smiles curving against one another while Sylar rolled atop Peter, pinning him to the cold ground. Night was entirely upon them now, and the whisper of deepening, breathless kisses leaked into the air, meanwhile on the outskirts Peter felt like he was falling. Like his core was being hauled up into the air by that same old invisible thread, leaving a vital part of himself behind.

The city was evaporating around him. The horizon floating away like ash, the walls closing in upon where he stood, trembling and weak, longing for a breeze to soothe the burning promise of tears gathered in his own eyes.

He'd seen too much. He hadn't seen enough. He didn't understand, yet it made all kinds of sense. That wrong was right and people could change, could forgive, and that try as he might Peter couldn't find the will in himself to deny what he knew had been real, once.

And suddenly he was enveloped by the heat of another man's arms around him, strong and sincere and reliable. He felt the living softness of someone else's skin touching his, although still he stood alone, his lips tingled beneath the sensation he'd almost forgotten was that of another pair against them, it had been so long. And he could sense every part of that body, he could breathe the familiar, comforting scent of his hair, and somehow he tasted the gentle press of Sylar's tongue in his mouth, and he felt safe. Trusted. He felt wanted more than he'd ever been wanted before. And it invaded his senses all at once, unrelenting, overstimulating, until he couldn't discern between fear and arousal and he no longer knew where the Peter on the ground and the Peter on the outskirts collided.

Only then, the shackles keeping him frozen in place broke free. Feeling returned to his limbs and he stumbled away from the illicit lovers as fast as shooting pins and needles would let him.

But he wasn't steady enough. And with that cord now severed, he fell.

[chloca-cola]

The Intern part 5 Intermission

Ok, this is the calm before the storm of this series mwuahahaha

TW: None, it just fluffy!

Word count: 971, it's short but like I said it's just fluffy haha

~

After you and Leon both untangled yourselves from each other, you found yourself in the kitchen, still only wearing his shirt, and him still only in his sleeping pants, which you couldn't help but notice were sling low on his hips.

Leon was gathering the ingredients to make what he called 'the best french toast in the world' you had given him a teasing skeptical look.

You watched him as he worked, cracking eggs and using both cinnamon and nutmeg.

"That's what makes it so special." He offered, giving you a sly yet cheesy grin and you laughed at him.

"Nutmeg AND cinnamon? How are you not on one of those chef shows, huh?" You continued to tease him, stepping closer to him, snaking your arms around his waist, and laying your cheek against his warm back, feeling his muscles working as he cooked for you both.

"They told me that me being on there would be unfair for all the others competing because I'm just too good." You snorted at his boasting, not wanting to let him go, but unfortunately he maneuvered around in your grasp to face you. He smiled gently down at you, his hands coming up to cup your face, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip, before dipping down to give you a slow, passionate kiss. It sent a warm sensation through your body as you melted into him. He ended the kiss with two smaller ones, before going back to work.

"Why don't you set up the table?" He asked, ticking his chin at the cabinets to his left and you made a consenting noise, moving around his kitchen, gathering a couple of plates and forks for you both. 

You sat down and you both chatted over breakfast, nothing important, just idle chatter, like what made you chose to intern at the DSO. Do you have any family around the area. Just getting to really know one another, all while your free hands touched and caressed the others.

Leon told you about his different scars, how he got them, where he was at when he got them, how his life hasn't been easy,  but meeting people like you has made his life worth it.

He confessed that this was the first truly lazy Saturday he has got to experience in a long time as you both moved to sit on his couch, leaving the dishes for later.

You sat down beside Leon, but he pulled your legs up onto his lap, absently massaging your calves as you both continued to talk. 

"Oh, so your scars, I have a few of my own," you say, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt to your elbow, pointing at a scar on your forearm. "I got this one falling out of a tree. I thought I was going to be this big adventurer like Nathan Drake or Lara Croft. I got a broken arm is what I did. The bone popped out, had surgery, and thus the scar!" As you were talking, Leon laid his head back on the couch, smiling softly, taking in your every word, watching how your lips moved to form the words as he absently played with fingers, rubbing and lacing them with his own. 

"How old were you?" He asked, as you laid your head over on the couch backing too.

"Seven." You smiled at him, before leaning towards him for a gentle soft kiss. "See that one on my foot?" You continued to rambling, using your free hand to point at the circular scar. "Stepped on a nail as I was running away from my asshole cousin. Went straight through my foot, my uncle yelled at me for it, which made my dad mad and then they fought about it." You shrugged as you mindlessly played with Leon's fingers in return. "I just sat on the ground fucking crying my eyes out, mom finally took me to the hospital, and then chewed my dad and uncle out." You blushed. "Sorry, I'm rambling." Leon smiled at you, his eyes seeming like they could gaze into your soul, and he reached out, caressing your cheek with his hand, and you jabbed into his touch. 

"I love hearing these stories about you. Makes me feel closer to you." He assures you, tracing his thumb along your bottom lip again, and you kiss it during the action. He lifted your legs, so he could scoot closer to you on the couch, where he kissed along your jaw to your chin, before he buried his face into your neck. You both stayed like that for what seemed like forever, and you couldn't help but think about that chance meeting all those weeks ago. If you hadn't been the one to pick up that file, this could be someone else cuddling Leon on his couch on this gorgeous Saturday morning. 

"(Y/n)," Leon's voice broke you from your thoughts, and he pulled back to look into your eyes. "I think I maybe falling in love with you." His confession was soft, as if saying it aloud might break the glass around the two of you. 

You could swear your heart stopped, did you hear that right? You blink in surprise, finally realizing he had in fact said it.

"Oh, Leon...I think I maybe falling in love with you, too." Something in his blue eyes shifted as of to show that's all he ever wanted to hear in his life. He cupped the back of your neck, pulling you into a long heated kiss, pulling you to straddle his lap.

"Say it again." He pleased against your lips, and you smile.

"I'm falling in love with you." He hugged you closer to him, holding you as if you were the most important thing in his life right now. 

~~

@imagineleonkennedy @mitsuintheworks @sleepygal124 @disneymarina @guettaes @kezikatescribbling @locus-desperatus @crystaldwightsworld @marshall1199

[thisislizheather]

July Jiffs 2020

This was me all month.

The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.

I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.

This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.

I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?

I’m still doing Nathan’s podcast on Patreon incase you’re interested. (You can find more clips on his Instagram.)

I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.

Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.

Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).

Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).

I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.

That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.

I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.

Ennio Morricone passed away last month and I find myself listening to the Cinema Paradiso soundtrack on repeat.

Read this great piece about summer blockbuster movies which also has just some great ideas for movies to rewatch right now.

I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).

I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.

Ugh, Astoriaaaaaa, DO BETTER.

I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?

I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.

I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.

I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.

I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this. 

I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.

Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)

Very excited to hear about Lindy West’s new book.

So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.

I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.

I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.

Actually helpful tips on how to clean your home efficiently.

Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!

I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.

New favourite beer alert.

Best tweets of the month over here.

I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?

I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.

I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.

I have found the perfect, light summer blanket and I’m trying not to focus on the fact that it came from Amazon.

I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink. 

I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

I want to tell you... (Nathan Drake x reader, part 3.)

Description: Nathan Drake is not the exact definition of an unhappy man. His job is steady, his friends still see him from time to time, he plays football, but his marriage is his main problem. Many things will change when a special person comes to his life.

Word count: 2 600 (+/-)

Warnings: The reader will appear! Let’s get the game on!

Mood: I am really on the indie vibe lately, so I feel like Crush by Tessa Violet.

 @the-obsessive-fangirl, have a lovely summer day! And @missdictatorme knows what is about to happen. Prepare for insanely cute Nate.

“Alright, cutie,” - Nathan spoke with himself, quickly moving his eyes on the page of the cooking book where the page with Creme Brulee was opened. Nathan often spoke to himself when he was cooking and other co-workers found it cute. But when he spoke his food, screaming Don’t you catch on fire with me for example, was a whole another thing which made them sincerely laugh.

Nathan really enjoyed cooking since he was growing up, that was a thing that not much people knew about him. His passion and love for it made him an excellent cook - he was never afraid to do some experiments with food, he learned a lot of new things and eating food prepared by Nathan was like trying food from heaven, at least Chloe was telling it. 

“Let’s look at how you’re made, right?” He looked into the recipe once more, checking if he has all of the things he needed to have for having the best and balanced Brulee of them all. 

It was truly raining heavily outside, there was a big storm outside, to be honest. It could be considered a hurricane already because it was something crazy out there. Nate was glad that he was in the restaurant, safe and warm and that he could do what he loved the most.

At least Elena called that morning from Thailand, where she was currently staying, telling him that the storm was there as well but she wanted to assure him, that she's fine and well. He was glad that she called him.

"I love you." - He whispered with a shy smile, looking into one of the hanging pans. Before, Elena would answer immediately. But this time, it was completely silent for a few seconds on the other side.

"I need to go, Nate. Stay safe and don't do any dumb stuff. Promise?" - She joked, but it hurt Nathan directly next to his heart. He still cares about her, about her safety and about her feelings, but she was on lockdown for four months or so.

Nathan shook these thoughts out of his head and he stuck his tongue out as he concentrated on the Creme Brulee. It wasn't much time from that when he heard knocking on the restaurant's door.

He thought that he only overheard himself - it was raining outside and the restaurant was closed. Nathan furrowed his brows and stood up straight up when he heard the knocking again. He checked that everything was on its place so the kitchen won't catch on fire and he made his way to the actual part with tables, chair, and a bar. They were closed, who would try to knock their way into the restaurant while there was a hurricane outside? 

Nathan tried to stay as hidden as the door let him, he would not open some random hobo person. He would give them something warm, food and water - but it would be a big risk to let them inside. But instead of a hobo, there was a woman figure standing outside in the rain with her palms covering her eyes as she looked inside. 

The woman saw Nate instantly, waving at him and smiling in a dorky way. Nathans first instinct was to go and help that woman inside. It was a cold, rainy mess when he opened the door, the wind almost blew him away from the door as the woman practically run inside and helped him to close the door with every of the lock they had.

Only after that, Nathan turned at her, and he must have looked like a fool at that moment. She truly was gorgeous. Wet hair fell around her face in a messy way and her skin was slippery and wet from the rain; which made her cheeks completely rosy. She was trying to catch her breath with her lips opened a little and her eyes closed. That woman only wore a trench coat, which made no sense in this type of weather, jeans and some classy shoes. She probably didn't see the weather coming or she thought that she'll be alright.

Nathan had an unreadable expression on his face, still looking at her as she was leaning into the glass. She started laughing, which made Nathans face even softer and his eyes started to shine. 

He felt like if he knew her since forever, he had a feeling that he knew her eyes and the tone of her laugh was so light-hearted and cute that it made his stomach shrunk in a tickling way. She made his heart beat faster without him noticing and his fingers tremble a bit. He didn't even remember when he felt so instantly happy and... Nervous. That girl made him nervous.

“Man, you saved my life. I thought that nobody’s going to answer.” - She spoke all of a sudden, made him even more struck on the spot. Nathan wide his eyes, watching her face. She had nice contours even tho her make-up was on a run. 

“How-how.” - He tried to spoke but coughed into his hand when he felt that his own voice is falling apart from her. - “How did you even know that there is somebody out here? I mean, what if you knocked on an empty restaurant?” - Nathan gave her one of his cheesy smiles, standing on his feet and looking her into eyes because he found them so gorgeous he wasn't even able to breathe. 

“Your car is parking in the aisle next to the restaurant.” - She waved in car’s direction and Nathan assumed that it is a pretty logical consideration. - “Or so I was hoping for that to be the truth. And the bars on the doors were lifted and so I tried my luck. You aren't the brightest, right?” - She said in a playful voice as she started laughing again. Nathan leaned his head to his shoulder and he felt ashamed a bit. It was practically obvious that there's someone inside. 

“I will pretend that I didn't hear that. I mean that thing you practically said that I am dumb.” - Nathan tried to show her his most charming smile, offering her his palm. He was sweaty because of the nervousness and she was as cold as an iceberg and wet from the rain, so he was praying that she wouldn't notice. 

“I haven't said that you are dumb! You make me look rude now, Jesus. My names Y/N and I think that we should start from the begging again, no mean comments now, I swear.” - She put a hand on her heart with a sweet smile like she if swore to Nathan. 

“Name’s Nate and you're freezing, aren't you?” - Nate slowly let go of her hand, turning to walk back to his kingdom. Y/N slowly followed him-

“I am, in fact, freezing. You are very bright in fact.” - She winked with a smile. She was trying to make him forget about that little escapade which happened minutes ago and Nate just shook his head at that. He opened the door to the kitchen and she just stood there with an unsure look. 

“Can I even go there?” - Y/N asked with a frown on her face, which made Nathan twitch inside again. What the hell was he doing? Or, most importantly, why did his body react to that girl the way it did? - “I mean, isn't it a food hygiene risk? To have a dirty, wet human in your kitchen? Wouldnt some hygiene guy be seriously mad about that?” 

Nathan had to laugh a little when he saw her unsure expression. Her eyes were twitching between him and his hand on the door as he was patiently waiting for her. 

“As long as you don't pee or spit your saliva anywhere, I think we're cool. Come in.” - Nathan smiled at her, letting her pass directly next to him. When he smelled her perfume, he almost fell to the ground. It was a sweet scent and the rain only made it stand out. He almost fainted. 

“I will give you my towel, I'll just go for it to the dressing room, alright? Just don't steal anything, I beg you.” - Nathan ran off to that room with a childish smile as he could hear that he made her laugh again. She had such a sweet laugh! She definitely caught his eyes with some magic, or he couldn't rationalize his excited behavior.

When he got back, he almost fainted. She took the coat off and she had only a green shirt on, and it was completely dumped from water as well, so his eyes didn't have to imagine any of her curves - they saw it right away. Nathan felt like he shouldn't stare, so he turned away from her, only giving her his towel.Y/N accepted it with a small smile, leaning her ass into one of the counters, watching the surrounding and firstly trying to make her hair somehow dry before she wrapped the towel around her body.

“So what some hot drink and food sound like?” - Nathan looked at her as he cleaned up his place from his experimental baking. 

“I don't know mate. I don't have much money with me.” - Y/N shrugged her shoulders, but Nate smiled at her. 

“Let me ask again. Would you like me to cook something and make you a cup of something?” - Nathan opened up the fridge as he picked some of the freshest tomatoes they had. He had a perfect food in his mind - tomato sauce and pasta. Easy, quick and delicious. 

“I guess so. You’re so persistent. I have like... Fifteen bucks? Would that be enough?” - Y/N grabbed her purse, frantically searching for money. 

“Don't bother and be my guest. I'll pay for you afterward.” - Nate chuckled and started to chop the tomatoes. He also started the kettle, deciding that English black tea with some honey would suit her the best at her current state.

“What were you doing at that storm outside, huh? It makes me look a lot brighter than you.” - He said as he concentrated on making the onion and garlic just perfect while they were frying in the pan. 

“We moved here like two days ago. I heard in the news that there will be some stormy weather, but I never thought it could be that bad.” - She hummed as she sipped the tea, sitting on the counter next to his wooden cutting board, moving her legs from side to side. - “And I got lost in the city. Which made me come here.”

“We moved in?” - Nathan asked in a concerned voice as he watched the curve of her nose. She had a beautiful nose. He was chopping some basal as well, feeling her body being ridiculously close to his hand. What was wrong with him? 

He assumed that she is talking about some roommate or a friend, sharing their flat during their studies. She seemed to be an intelligent and bright lady, surely at least five years younger than him. If she wasn't even younger. She could be a college student. 

“Yeah, I started to study my bachelor degree here since my junior college ended. It felt like the best choice.” - Y/N answered, not revealing with whom she moved in here. Nathan was curious about that information a lot, but he didn't want to look like some weird psycho, so he didn't ask further questions. 

They ate together in the kitchen, telling some really interesting stories to each other - Y/N talked about her hometown a lot and Nathan tried to charm her with some of the thrilling stories from his adventure. Their sense of humor got along really well. Nathan truly liked that feeling of getting to know her better, he liked how he could make her eyes shine when she laughed. His heart beat faster and faster just because she was looking at him and his cheeks got rosy when she said that his cooking skills were over the top.

They were about to open a bottle of a really sweet wine which got along with a bit of bitterness that the tomatoes had when her phone started to ring. 

And his heart almost coldly sank into his stomach when he was that sweet nickname and a photo of some handsome lad. Nathan couldn't understand his feelings, he felt betrayed and sad. Y/N smiled at him and picked up the call. 

“Hey, babe.” - She whispered to the phone as she leaned further away from him. Nathans heart jumped at the tone of it but sank immediately when he realized that she didn't call him that nickname. He moved away and started to clean up that place, letting only the wine glasses between them. - “Yeah, don't worry. I am safe and I made a friend here. Yeah. A first friend in this city. Crazy, I know.” 

Nathan looked on how water was brushing his hands and frowned. Why was he sad? He was married. And he got his ring on his left hand the whole time. Y/N could spot it easily. But even tho she could see it, he didn't like being friend-zoned. It wasn't a nice thing at all. 

“I am in that Italian restaurant which is like... Ten minutes from our flat? I think. You know that my orientation sucks.” - She laughed when her boyfriend asked her something. - “Alright. Alright. Be safe. I love you. Bye.” She hung up and started to take the towel from her body. 

“I loved being around you, I truly did. My boyfriend just got home and he’ll pick me up in our car here, so no need to open up that wine. It would be too expansive then anyway.” - Y/N took a pen and one napkin as she wrote her name on it and her name under that number. - “Here. Call me, text me, whatever you want. I am up for having some good time at the beach with you, you said you know it the best of all people out here and it just sounds fun.” She said when Nathan walked her out of the restaurant. He was smiling with a sad undertone.

Nate didn't want her to go. He was enjoying him a bit too much that morning. But it would be too weird to ask if she stays. And he didn't want her to think that he is a psycho.  Her boyfriend was already under the roof covering the entrance. 

It was a handsome lad indeed. Perfect for her, yet Nate’s brain didn't think so. But he smiled at her boyfriend anyway. 

“This is Nate. This is Mike.” - She introduced them, leaning into Mike’s side because he was warm. Mike smiled widely at Nate, offering him his hand as Nate hesitantly accepted. - “Nate would like to show us around, maybe he would come with his wife?” Y/N rose her eyebrows and Nate smiled shyly. 

She gave him a tight, heartwarming hug and Nathan felt how every inch of her body is just burning. She was warm and soft and she smelled so good. He smiled at the couple when they were getting into their car as he realized one thing.

Something called crush just happened to him and it was instant, insanely intense and felt like heaven and the hell at the same time.